Smackdown – November 11, 2011 – Now With A British Accent

Smackdown
Date: November 11, 2011
Location: Liverpool Echo Arena, Liverpool, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Another week, another Smackdown. With Randy having beaten Cody officially to end their feud (at least in theory) it should be interesting to see where they go with it. Also it seems like Bryan and the case have been activated into a possibility of him cashing in so we have that wild card in the title hunt now. Other than that it’ll be more build for the PPV I’d assume. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is Winter. The season, not the hot British chick.

We hear about Team Orton (Orton, Sheamus, Kofi, Cara, Ryan) vs. Team Barrett (Barrett, Rhodes, Swagger, Hunico, Christian even though the Canadian is now injured so that might be needing a replacement). To people that say all of the WWE guys are the same, this match has three Americans, an Irishman, a Ghanian, two Mexicans, a Welsh guy, an Englishman and a Canadian. That’s a pretty eclectic mix wouldn’t you say?

Here’s Randy to open the show. Orton has a great tattoo job on his arms. His shirt is roughly the same color as his skin and I couldn’t tell where it ended and where the tattoos began when he did his pose. He talks about how he doesn’t play well with others as every team he’s been on has imploded, usually due to him hurting them. Orton has no problem being the captain so he can beat up Rhodes and Christian again. He talks about not knowing Swagger or Hunico all that well but having no problem taking care of them as well. This draws out Barrett.

Barrett says the problems he’s given Orton before will be nothing compared to the ones he’ll have at Survivor Series. They’ve both been in groups and he’s always risen to the top of them. Orton is a natural born predator that no one will ever trust. Barrett wants the world title and he has to get Randy out of the way to do that. Orton is staring off into space during this. Barrett: “Are you even listening to me.” Orton: “Actually no I’m not.” Well that’s just rude. An RKO is threatened so here’s Christian in a neck brace.

Christian calls Randy the Yoko Ono of his team in Beatles reference #1 of the night (great drinking game). Christian takes credit for Barrett beating Sheamus last week, saying that he inspires people to be better. He was offered the captain spot but he declined it due to his injuries. Barrett has Christian’s full endorsement though. Here comes the beatdown as well as Sheamus for the save. Teddy comes out and I must have a bad ear infection or something because he doesn’t make a tag match for the main event. Instead it’s Christian vs. Sheamus and Barrett vs. Orton. Nice little change of pace.

Christian vs. Sheamus

Sheamus runs him over to start and takes over quickly. Christian begs off and gets the forearms to the chest for his trouble. There’s a gorilla press and Christian bails to the floor. Christian gets back in first and walks into the slingshot shoulder. Christian finally sends him into the post to take over and adds a missile dropkick for two. Out to the floor and Cole gets on my nerves already. Christian tries a dive over the top but Sheamus catches him with ease.

After a break Christian has a chinlock on and is in control. They slug it out and I think you know who wins there. Christian goes up and jumps into a punch to the ribs, which is the same counter I saw on an old tape I was watching a few moments ago. The Canadian tries the sunset flip out of the corner but jumps into the Irish Curse for two. Christian dives into his second fallaway slam of the match but pops up for a dropkick to put Sheamus down again.

Sheamus charges into the corner and gets caught by the Pendulum Kick. A tornado DDT gets two for Christian. Sheamus does the always cool pull yourself up from the corner to the top rope spot and hits the top rope shoulder for two. Brogue Kick and Unprettier both miss but the High Cross is enough to finish this at 10:15 shown of 13:45.

Rating: C+. It’s a good enough match, but how many times can Sheamus beat Christian before it stops meaning anything at all? This is what, the fourth time in a month that he’s beaten him? This was pretty good and Christian continues to have chemistry with almost anyone he works with, but he needs to either beat Sheamus once or get on to a new feud because this is going nowhere.

We recap Bryan almost cashing in last week but walking into the Slam instead.

Bryan talks to AJ and Kaitlyn and says he didn’t know he was almost going to cash in. He has a non-title match tonight. AJ and Kaitlyn imply sexual interest if he’s champ. Henry pops up and says it’s not that easy to be champ. Bryan gets in his face, saying he’s cashing in at Mania and he’ll win. Henry says Bryan has guts, and they’ll be all over the ring later.

Video on Ezekiel Jackson of all people. He’s strong and that’s about it. This comes off almost like a heel video.

Teddy Long is with Charles Robinson and says be on your game tonight in the Usos match. This is rather pointless. Here’s Aksana who hits on Teddy again and innuendo is made. Teddy wants Aksana to be in Alicia’s corner later tonight so she can get experience. Aksana thinks she’s Rihanna. More innuendo is made. Next.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal is called mysterious. How is he mysterious? They flat out explained his backstory like two weeks after he started wrestling. Mahal takes over to start and Cole makes fun of DiBiase hanging out with fans. It’s implied that DiBiase has given up his dad’s money. Dream Street ends this at 1:06.

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Big Show is banned from ringside. Bryan has Ride of the Valkyries again but it’s a rock version. It’s an improvement over the old song. Booker says Bryan has never had a girlfriend in his life. Oh give me a break. Are we really afraid of the drawing power of Gail Kim now? Henry takes him to the floor and rams him into the barricade then pushes Bryan’s head against the steps.

Back in the ring and the fans try to get behind Bryan. Henry misses a charge and Bryan hits a missile dropkick and Henry is staggered. The kicks put Henry down and Bryan actually gets the LeBell Lock on….kind of. Henry does the British Bulldog/Shawn Michaels counter and pounds Daniel down in the corner. Henry splashes him but pulls up at two. Bryan says bring it on so Henry hits the Slam for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: C. Just a squash here but the road for Bryan seems to have begun. Him getting the Lock on Henry was a nice touch as it’s a single step further than he got last week. It wasn’t competitive but that’s the right idea if they’re going with the long road to Bryan vs. Henry. Have Bryan not be able to hurt Henry and then slowly build him up to the point where he can beat him at Mania, if that’s where they’re going at the end.

Henry goes for a chair to break the leg but Bryan gets it away and hits Henry with it. Three World’s Strongest Slams later, Bryan regrets that chair shot. Henry sets to Pillmanize the leg but the sound of music stops him. Why? I don’t know. I guess he can’t jump while music is playing. Henry gets the chair and Show knocks it out of his hand. They stare each other down and Henry bails.

Show says watch his match and he’ll show Henry something impressive.

Big Show vs. ???/???/???

They’re three unnamed jobbers. They get Show down for a second but one of them kicks him which wakes him up. Two take a double chokeslam and the third tries to leave. Show chases him down and the big punch ends this at 1:20.

Henry says that was nothing and that he’s impressed Big Show, which he’ll do again at Survivor Series.

Video on Mania tickets.

Tamina vs. Alicia Fox

Nattie is on commentary and Aksana is with Alicia. Rosa is with Tamina. Tamina is pounded down in the corner but remembers she’s Samoan and no sells it. After about a minute of beating her down, Tamina gets caught with an elbow. Nattie says she and Beth are now called Pin-Up Strong. What is that, their third name? Alicia hits a front flip legdrop for the pin at 2:00. Is there a point to any of these matches with the girls anymore?

Sheamus is asked if he’s a hot head after seeing clips of his brawl with Barrett last week. He denies it and says he’s about having a good time, be it presenting an award to Justin Bieber at the MTV Europe Awards of hanging out with his cousin Beaker (POP). He pretends to be mad at Striker then smiles.

Hunico/Epico vs. Usos

Primo comes out with the Hispanic team. Booker says they’re like gremlins. Ok so Hunico is in the white shirt. Remember when the Usos debuted and their deal was that there were civilized Samoans out there that weren’t all crazy? Now they do that Siva Tao thing. I love rewritting kayfabe. Epico starts off with we’ll say Jey. Epico is Primo’s cousin which is true in real life and on TV it seems.

The heels take over on Jimmy and take turns beating him down. Why are Mexican/Hispanic themed teams always heels? I think LAX were faces for awhile and that’s about it. Lukewarm tag brings in Jey who beats on Hunico but Epico makes the save. Primo tries to cheat so Jey kicks Epico down. Hunico hits a Swanton on Jey for the pin at 2:45.

There’s a gang beatdown post match as the fans cheer for Sin Cara. He’s not booked on the tour though so the heels beat Jimmy down with ease. Time for the international war period?

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Not much to start but that’s to be expected. Barrett takes over with a headlock but walks into a dropkick for two. Now it’s Orton with the headlock as Cole talks about the bareknuckle thing again. Orton kind of plays heel here, shouting that Barrett is the hometown boy before covering him. Barrett gets a boot up in the corner to put Orton down. That and an elbow drop get two.

Out to the floor for some brawling and in a cool sequence, Orton tries to send him into the steps but Barrett jumps on top of them then kicks the steps into Orton. Wade sends him into the steps as we take a break. Back with Orton in a chinlock and Barrett’s hair is a mess. Pumphandle slam gets two. A big boot puts Orton on the floor and it’s back to the chinlock.

Boss Man Slam gets two. Barrett sets for a middle rope elbow but only one person per company can use the same move so Orton breaks it up and hits a superplex for a delayed two. They slug it out and Orton starts his ending sequence with the powerslam and DDT. RKO is loaded up but Barrett shoves him off. He pokes Orton in the eye and rolls him up for the pin at 9:50 shown of 13:20.

Rating: C+. This was fine for a TV main event and it’s cool to see Orton go down as clean as you’ll see it on TV. Barrett’s push seems to be for real and that’s certainly a good thing. He can be the next big heel on Smackdown once Henry loses the title and that’s fine. Not bad here and cool to see the home country guy win one for a change on the road.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot as they had a lot of stuff here and a lot of stuff got advanced. Henry vs. Show gets some nice build and we have the seeds of Bryan’s main event push being established. Also they lucked out as they have a backdoor to get them out of Christian’s legit injury. This is what Smackdown is best at: having basic but well put together television. Give us more stuff like this.

Results
Sheamus b. Christian – High Cross
Ted DiBiase b. Jinder Mahal – Dream Street
Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan – World’s Strongest Slam
Big Show b. ???/???/??? – WMD
Alicia Fox b. Tamina – Flip Legdrop
Hunico/Epico b. Usos – Swanton to Jey
Wade Barrett b. Randy Orton – Rollup

 

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Impact Wrestling – November 10, 2011 – EIGHT MATCHES???

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 10, 2011
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still in Macon and it’s time for the go home show before Turning Point. At this moment, we have no main event as the world title has changed twice in three weeks so we haven’t had much of an opportunity to set anything up. I’d expect a tacked on main event which is TNA’s custom far too often. This show has been better than Raw (arguably) recently. Let’s get to it.

We open up with a video of Roode turning heel last week to win the title.

Here’s Roode to open the show with the belt. He doesn’t know why the people are booing him. Wait, are they booing him or are they chanting Roode, because that’s what they were doing last week when they were cheering him on. Is it because he killed Beer Money? Or is it because he did everything that they all would have done in the same situation? This is a new generation and he’s the leader of that generation.

You can do everything right and it means nothing. We see an inset of Storm wanting to come to the ring but the agents hold him back. Roode talks about how after BFG, he learned you have to take your opportunities and that’s what he did. Here comes Storm and the fans are happy to see him. Storm beats them down and charges the ring but Roode bails.

As security holds Storm back, here’s Sting. He makes the rematch for tonight and that’s it.

Tonight it’s AJ vs. Daniels. AGAIN.

Here’s a video on Crimson vs. Morgan. This isn’t a dream match no matter how much they want it to be.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Crimson

After having to watch Elijah Burke and Matt Morgan reach levels of uninteresting that I honestly didn’t think existed in their feud in OVW in I think 03 or 04, THANK GOODNESS this is Crimson. They exchange headlocks to start us off and I don’t think anyone knows who Pope is. A DDT gets two as does a middle rope fist drop. Crimson grabs a Cravate but gets punched back again. Pope goes up again but jumps into the Red Sky for the pin at 2:38. As almost usual with Crimson, he got beaten down but hit one move for the win.

Gunner says he’ll destroy Garrett Bischoff and something about a code in the military.

Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff

Gunner is really lous and talks trash to Garrett. He turns to talk to Eric (he and Flair are on the floor) and walks into a pretty decent armdrag and make it two of them. Garrett takes over with some basic stuff and isn’t half bad at it. And then Flair and Eric come in, I think for a DQ, as Garrett runs. It ran about 1:45. Based on this, Eric can have his contract rewritten.

Robbie E and Big Rob try to get to Ronnie from Jersey Shore. This goes nowhere.

After a break we see Storm out cold and covered in blood.

Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen

Basic stuff to start and Ion goes up. The 450 misses a reverse Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:57. There’s nothing else to say here.

Kid Kash comes out to run his mouth and be annoying and southern. Kash says Sorensen gets the title shot at Turning Point but it’s in a three way dance. Sorensen signs the contract and Kash implies he slept with Sorensen’s mother.

Karen tells Gail and Madison that they look pretty.

Knockout Tag Titles: Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Velvet spears Madison down to start and hammers away. Madison gets beaten down quickly and it’s off to Mickie who looks great tonight. Gail shoves her off the top and then comes in to beat on her a bit. The match means nothing at all as it’s all to set up Gail pinning Velvet to set up the PPV match for the singles title. Velvet comes in and takes over, hitting an awful looking spinning bulldog or something. Mickie goes up and something is clipped as Mickie hits the Thesz Press. A sitout Pedigree ends Madison but Velvet walks into Eat Defeat for the pin at 4:00. See? Told you so.

Rating: D. Whatever man. That’s what I’m going to start every Knockouts rating with. The problem at the end of the day is that these stories don’t mean anything and the feuds usually have zero heat on them at all. Nothing to see here and like I said, the ending was about as obvious as any I’ve ever seen in my life.

James is awake and Sting comes to see him. The trainer is trying to sew him up and he can’t stand.

We recap the Robs vs. Ronnie/Eric Young. Let’s get this over with.

Ronnie/Eric Young vs. Robbie E/Rob Terry

Ronnie and Robbie start us off but they tag out before there’s any contact. Eric locks up with the referee. Oh that wacky comedy! Eric gets beaten down as we await the “reality” TV star to make the save. A belly to belly suplex puts Robbie down and there’s the hot tag to Ronnie. To the shock of no one, he does some basic stuff not that horrible and we’re supposed to care for some reason. Eric drops a top rope elbow…and he’s in leopard print underwear now. A splash from Ronnie gets the pin at 4:15.

Rating: F. I hate the Jersey Shore and I review wrestlers having matches. That is all.

Immortal says they’ll win tonight.

Mexican America gets in a fight with Ink Inc in catering. There’s a tag title match Sunday.

Here’s an MMA guy on commentary for the next match.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

This is match #eleventy billion between them. The MMA guy gets a closeup as we miss part of the match. The match is a backdrop as we praise Bellator and how great it is. They’re debuting on Spike soon after UFC leaves. AJ flips over in the corner and Daniels takes over. This is just their usual match with Daniels controlling for the most part and then AJ starts his comeback. He hits his usual stuff and we talk about MMA. Here’s the screwdriver after we go to the floor. RVD comes out to take it away and AJ uses the distraction to hit the Clash for the pin at 7:27.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that’s fine but I just don’t care. The problem again is that we’ve seen this so many times that there’s nothing to see in it anymore. We’ve seen AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels so many times that there’s nothing left to watch them do. Daniels vs. anyone else would be interesting.

Here’s the card for Turning Point. The tag title match is in a six person match.

Immortal vs. Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson/???

The mystery partner is Abyss. Well that was shocking. Scott beats on Hardy a bit as Hardy sells like only he can. He really is good at that. Jeff hits the mule kick and it’s off to Anderson. The heels beat on him a bit with a bunch of elbows from Ray. Off to Hardy as we’re waiting for Abyss to come in and dominate.

The Matt Hardy leg drop hits Bubba but Jarrett breaks up the Swanton. Hardy gets beaten down for a bit and it’s off to Abyss for the real hot tag. The Stroke is countered into Shock Treatment and Ray walks into the Twist and Swanton. Stroke to Hardy, Mic Check to Jarrett, suplex to Anderson, Black Hole Slam and pin to Steiner at 8:15.

Rating: C-. Basic match here but the ending was pretty good. Abyss as a mystery partner was kind of odd as it’s not like there’s anyone else they would have put in there that would have made sense. Him as an official face isn’t bad and it’s good to see Immortal pretty firmly in the midcard where they belong.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

The match is set to start after a break and there’s no Storm. The music plays twice and he finally comes out. He’s COVERED in blood. Storm goes off to start but then collapses. Storm is out cold. The referee throws up the X and the trainer is here. Roode acts all concerned and says he wants to check on Storm. He asks if the amtch is over and then rolls Storm up for the pin at 2:40.

AJ and Kaz come out and it’s AJ vs. Roode on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but the big thing is we had 8 matches. That’s a HUGE improvement as that means 8 different stories or angles were addressed, plus the tag title match was actually mentioned on TV. This was a well put together show which is what they’ve been lacking for a long time. Good stuff here, although not great. Major improvement in some areas though.

Results
Crimson b. D’Angelo Dinero – Red Sky
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner via DQ when Ric Flair interfered
Jesse Sorensen b. Zema Ion – Reverse Spinning DDT
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky/Mickie James – Eat Defeat
Ronnie/Eric Young b. Robbie E/Rob Terry – Ronnie pinned Robbie E after a splash
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Styles Clash
Abyss/Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner/Bully Ray – Black Hole Slam to Steiner
Robert Roode b. James Storm – Pin after Storm collapsed

 

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History of Survivor Series Count-Up – 2001 – The End of the Alliance, Thank Goodness

Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location; Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

And we have arrived. It’s the end of the Invasion tonight as the main event is Alliance vs. WWF, winner takes all. Naturally the WWF is going to win, but the point was how do we get to that point? It’s a Survivor Series match which at least fits the name of the show and the theme of it. I’ll save my thoughts on the angle as a whole for the end of the review because it’s certainly something that’s historic enough for it’s own thoughts.

Also on the card we have a series of unification matches between the WCW titles and the WWF Titles, but there’s no world title unification match as that would come at Vengeance, in the famous night where Jericho beat Austin and Rock. Oh I almost forgot. HHH is out with injury at this point so he’s not here.

He’ll be back in about two months though to the absolute loudest pop I’ve ever heard. This certainly has the chance to be a good show, but there are several flaws in it that just on paper I can see holding it back from doing so, but maybe I’m wrong. Let’s find out.

For some reason that I don’t get, the poster is Torrie and Lita standing back to back. They look sexy, but what’s the point here?

We open with a very nicely done video package talking about the greatest moments in company history. This does a very good job of showing some of the highlights of the company and tying it in to the current storyline. This was well done.

The theme song for this show is Control by Puddle of Mudd, so that’s all we’ll be hearing all night. That’s a good thing though because it’s a good song. JR and Heyman (Lawler had left the company in February because his wife had been released and he left in protest. The witch left him and he was rehired and would be back next to JR the following night) talk about how this is the biggest PPV of all time. I thought this was 2001, not 1987.

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Christian is in the Alliance at this point, but due to this song and video, he is AWESOME.

Dang that’s awesome. He’s still more or less a comedic guy here, but he’s coming around. I have no idea why he’s with WCW and ECW here, but whatever. Apparently this match was made on Heat, so take that for what it’s worth. Christian cuts a promo before the match, being a basic heel. He says he’s in South Carolina and various things like that. Snow comes out to the Tough Enough music which I always thought was a great song.

Ross gets a great line in about Christian: I’d like to buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth. That’s not bad at all. More or less this is designed to just give us a good opener as Snow is certainly solid enough to put on a good match. Christian is just ok, so Snow is one of the best choices there was to put in there with him. Naturally all the commentators can talk about is the main event.

For once, I’m ok with that as it really was a big match from a storyline perspective. Snow throws some of the weakest looking punches I’ve ever seen. It’s the most basic move there is and Snow’s are horrible. I’ve never liked that headbutt move that Snow does. I mean the one where he grabs the other guy’s arms and does a series of headbutts. It just looks odd indeed. Ross apparently thinks the back of the head is pretty, as he calls a reverse DDT the Unprettier.

It doesn’t really matter because it didn’t hit but whatever. Actually it does matter because he messes it up again when it hits. Snow hits a quick rollup for two so at least he’s awake. Snow hits the Snow Plow but Christian gets his foot on the rope. Snow looks at the foot but celebrates anyway, setting a fine example for his young wrestlers. The Unprettier ends this a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Eh, it was there and it didn’t suck. Since it was made an hour ago, how much can they really put together out there? I’m fine with this though as it’s certainly not bad. It’s kind of a weird choice for an opener, but I can see what the point of having it on the show was. Not bad, but certainly nothing great at all here.

Austin is here and the rest of his team is thinking he’ll turn back to the WWF tonight. Vince said that was going to happen tonight, which has everyone in the Alliance panicking. I really hate that name. It doesn’t roll off the tongue at all. Angle and Austin nearly get into it again.

Vince and Linda debate about whether or not they should be worried about tonight. Cole interrupts them in a short sleeved shirt that is just odd looking on him. Speaking of odd, seeing Vince and Linda as a married couple and talking is something I can never remember seeing other than this. It kind of works. Vince more or less says that tonight it’s not a gamble because he has a 6th team member, implying Austin. Regal pops up and says nothing of importance.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

They used to be friends (a long time ago) and then Regal turned heel and beat up Torrie, who was Tajiri’s girlfriend at the time, leading to this. I absolutely love Tajiri’s music. This was supposed to be him vs. X-Pac in a unification match as they were Cruiserweight and Light Heavyweight champions respectively, but Pac was injured. Yeah I was stunned to hear that too.

Regal is freshly heel here, having screwed Angle out of the WWF Title against Austin and becoming Alliance commissioner. There’s just not a lot to talk about in this match as it’s just an intense fight. These guys are hammering the heck out of each other which is nice to see for a change. We get the always cool looking spot of Tajiri (or anyone) getting their head caught between the top and middle ropes.

That’s just sweet every time you see it for some reason. After getting out, Tajiri hits a heck of a kick on the head of Regal. This is a brawl to say the least. And Regal hits a butterfly powerbomb out of nowhere for the pin. Well that was abrupt. Post match Regal beats on him some more and Torrie, rocking some skin tight leather pants, runs out to check on him. Regal beats her up too.

Rating: C. It’s about three minutes long and the finish came out of left field. This should likely be N/A, but the three minutes were rather good with some very hard shots in there. It was good, but that ending was just out of nowhere. Not bad for what they had to work with though so I’ll say it’s ok.

We get a recap of Test vs. Edge, which more or less consists of Test stealing the IC Title from Edge and the Edge winning the US Title. Foley then made a unification match for tonight. It’s very simple, but at least with Test stealing it there’s some history here which is more than you’ll get for most matches in today’s product.

Test is in front of a mirror when Stacy comes up. She implies she’ll sleep with him if he wins after he hits on her. She is so ridiculously hot here it’s not fair.

Edge says that Test is going to lose. He’s ridiculously over at this point as he was on the brink of cracking into the main event and was having the best matches of his career. Unfortunately an injury would put him out for a year in February.

Unification Match: Edge vs. Test

Edge is rocking the Rob Zombie music here, so it’s completely awesome. Edge is over here, but not to the level he would reach once he went to Smackdown exclusively. Hey, did you know that Pat Patterson won the IC Belt in a tournament. Ross advises Edge to use his heart. We’ll ignore the fact that it’s an involuntary muscle and if Edge didn’t use it he would be dead and say that’s good advice as Test really was freakishly strong.

They’re doing that ignore thing, yet Heyman of all people brings the focus back to the title match at hand. Or is it titles match? I’m not sure. Edge really needs to go back to face. It just works better for him. As great as he is as a heel, him as a face is just awesome. This is somewhat back and forth but Test is mainly in control. Ross is once again ticking me off as he’s just running down Heyman while Paul is trying to talk about the match.

Ross actually takes the hint from Paul and talks about Test for a bit. That’s something you don’t see every day. There’s just no drama here at all for some reason. The main reason for that is the match is a lot of punching and kicking so it’s only so interesting. Now we’re getting better here with some nice fast paced kickouts. Test even hits a spear and not a bad one at all. Man he can do more than four moves. Test over Cena apparently.

Anyway, Edge of course kicks out as Heyman talks over and over again about how that’s Edge’s move and Test stole it. The pace speeds up pretty well which gets the crowd into it a lot more. See what happens when you stop just laying around and doing nothing at all? You get a crowd reaction, which is a good thing. Do it more often and you get bigger reactions. That’s basic wrestling psychology, yet sadly enough so many wrestlers don’t get it.

Edge hits the spear and Test kicks out of it as well, and it gets the crowd up and moving even more. I can’t believe it. They’re having more action and it’s getting a better reaction. I’m blown away. Anyway, enough of this sarcastic nonsense, as Test goes for a pumphandle slam and gets rolled up to unify Edge.

Rating: B-. This is a tale of two matches for sure as the beginning was putting me to sleep but it had a strong finish, which is good as it’s the most stuck in the minds of the fans. This was ok, but not much beyond it. I liked it, but I’m a mark for both guys, so therefore it’s unlikely a lot of people would like it. It wasn’t bad, but not great.

Stephanie is worried as Kurt tries to calm her. Stephanie is a bad actress. Like, really bad.

Lita and the Hardys are worried about their match and apparently something is wrong with Matt. This led to a long heel turn for Matt which took nearly a year to pull off. It led to Mattitude though, so it was completely worth it. Lita…yes, in all senses of the word. She runs into Trish coming out of Matt’s locker room. This is before their epic rivalry had really kicked into high gear. Trish in a tight white t-shirt and leather pants is an even bigger yes, if that’s possible. My goodness those are some hot women.

Unification Tag Titles: Hardys vs. Dudleys

This is in a cage by the way. Stacy is managing the Dudleys here and is perhaps the second sexiest she’s ever looked after this same look with glasses. There’s obviously history here but the latest one is from Smackdown where Lita knocked Stacy off the apron and Matt caught her, upsetting Lita. What in the world? What sense does that make? Lita knocks the other chick off and sees Matt beneath her which ticks her off? That is just freaking stupid.

There’s no Lita with the Hardys for no apparent reason, and apparently Matt and Jeff’s dad is a postman. That’s the kind of little trivia we should hear more of. Because this match and era is stupid, you have to tag in and out. Yep, that makes GREAT sense. Jeff is wrestling in a hat because he lives in the moment, whatever that means. Hearing Heyman talk about characters he created is very fun as you can just tell how much he loved ECW. That never gets old.

Excellent shot of Stacy’s camouflaged shorts. In another thing that the announcers (read as Heyman) does well here is point out that Matt and Jeff are the hometown boys. I didn’t catch that and that’s the commentator’s job: point out the little things like that which we might forget. Anyone that ever says that the Divas aren’t beautiful is a freaking idiot. Sorry they just keep showing Stacy and this tagging in and out thing is freaking stupid.

After five or six minutes we FINALLY do something with the cage. To be fair the wrestling is pretty good, but it just makes me wonder what the point of the cage is. Heyman saying WHAT A RUSH makes me chuckle. Jeff tries to escape but it fails as the heels are completely dominating. This is a rather long stretch of the heels dominating which is common in tag team cage matches.

I’m just waiting on the slam of one of those Dudleys into the cage to swing the momentum into the home town boys’ favor. For some reason I think of the Dukes of Hazard when I think of the Hardys. That just popped into my head and I have no idea why. And there’s our stupid heel moment to change the match. Jeff is down in the middle of the ring and both Dudleys go to a top rope. The tagging aspect has been forgotten at this point as it should be.

D-Von misses the headbutt because Jeff rolls out of the way. That’s fine as it’s pretty much the only counter there is to that move. Bubba, ever the genius though, jumps anyway because he’s so much faster than D-Von and he crashes too. Matt takes them both down with a double clothesline and we’re reversed with the faces now in control. Eventually Bubba calls out for a table, which Stacy pulls out.

She shows part of her shapely figure to the referee and picks his pocket to get the table in. That was at least simplistic. Matt gets out and it’s 2-1. D-Von gets thrown into the cage, and Ross says it doesn’t taste like chocolate. Allow me to ask again; WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF? And I don’t ask that because it’s funny or witty. I ask that because it MAKES NO FREAKING SENSE! Anyway, Matt is out and D-Von is on the table while Jeff is alone on the top of the cage.

You know what’s coming next. Instead of climbing down, the future 3 time world champion misses the Swanton off the cage and crashes to allow the Dudleys to get the easy pin. Matt isn’t happy, and he’s right. That was SO STUPID. Ross saying Jeff couldn’t resist the temptation is much more ironic than it should be.

Rating: B+. This would be an A if they hadn’t had the tagging thing, but I think it’s getting upgraded because of it. I had this as a B but the more I think about it the more I think that the tagging part at the beginning helped it a lot.

It made me think that in the middle where they just stopped doing it that the thought process was this is too important so screw tagging, let’s just get it all out there. That’s the beauty of a slow build: it makes the payoff much sweeter. Considering how many times these teams have fought, to still be able to have a good match is impressive.

Foley is at WWF New York where he isn’t happy about not being at the show. He points out that as Commissioner he should be there but Vince told him not to, so the Commissionership is a joke. This was part of an angle where Foley pretty much hated his job which he got back after Vince fired him.

He would be gone very soon, with this possibly being his last night in the role. After a little research, I’m right, as other than I think being on Raw the next night in a pretaped segment, he wouldn’t be back until June of 2003 as a guest referee.

Scotty is heading to the ring when he runs into Test. Scotty is actually a freaking jerk to him and gets the beating he deserves. Not because of being a jerk, but because Test wants his spot in the battle royal. My goodness Test and Stephanie need some acting lessons.

Immunity Battle Royal

Simple concept here: since the losing company goes out of business, the winner of this match can’t be fired for a year. First of all, how sweet of a rule would that be? You have a year where you can do whatever the heck you want and no one can say a word about it. The winner of this tries to do that, but it didn’t work out that well. I’ll do what I can to list the participants as they all come out in clusters according to their company affiliation.

Note: the Alliance comes out to Bodies by Drowning Pool. If you’re a fan of that kind of music and have a chance to go see them, go out of your way to do so. The live performance I saw of that song is without a doubt the greatest live song I have ever heard. The girl I was with at the show looked at each other and said in unison: that freaking rocked. They were just an awesome live band and second to only 3 Doors Down (who had light years better production values to be fair) as best I’ve ever seen.

Anyway, while this awesome song plays, we have Justin Credible, Lance Storm (who come out next to each other which is awesome looking for any true ECW fans), Shawn Stasiak, DDP, Raven, Dreamer, some guy I don’t recognize that might be Stevie Richards, Billy Kidman, Hurricane and Test for the Alliance. For the WWF, APA, Crash, Funaki, Saturn, Chuck Palumbo, Hardcore Holly, Albert, Billy Gunn and Spike. My eyesight isn’t that good.

I found a list online about halfway through. For some reason in case you’re wondering, the WWF comes out to Control, the show’s theme song. Stasiak is gone in about two seconds after charging at Bradshaw and being thrown out. Test drops to the floor and fights Albert who never got in for some reason. Something tells me this is going to be hard to call, which is partially why I’m terrified of the Rumbles.

Tazz comes out, ticking off Heyman. Tazz had left the Alliance because he hated Austin and his leadership. So far it’s your standard battle royal formula of people throwing punches, kicks and knees while trying to throw a single person over for about five minutes to look like they’re really doing something while not doing anything at all.

Grego….Hurricane I mean, gets knocked the heck out by Bradshaw and the clothesline. Albert launches Saturn out. For the life of me I’ll never understand why in such a civilized country as ours there’s still so much bald on bald violence. And they’re both from Boston. What are the odds? I’ll also never get why Albert never got a harder push. The guy had all the tools to be a solid heel, so why didn’t it work? Give him a manager and it would have gone fine.

He’s not someone that needs a lot of story behind him. He’s just a big scary looking dude. What more could you ask for? People are going out rather fast now as it’s mainly just dead weight in there that no one cares about. For the life of me I will never get why Billy Gunn got so many freaking pushes. They never ended and they never worked. The Outlaws got over, but Road Dogg was the more important part.

When you think of that team, what’s the first thing in your head? Road Dogg and the catchphrase. Billy’s line was made popular by DX, not him. I think there’s seven left at this point. As best I can tell it’s Richards, Kidman, Billy, Tazz, Bradshaw,, Test and Albert. There goes Richards so we’re down to six. Lance Storm is in there as well. Tazz yells at Heyman and he’s thrown out. In a cool spot, Bradshaw gets rid of Kidman with a fallaway slam over the top rope. That was sweet looking.

The final four are Test, Gunn, Storm and Bradshaw. Bradshaw misses a boot to Storm’s head by about six inches and hurts his leg which I think is legit. He actually hits a neckbreaker that was good though. For some reason the announcers are arguing about Stephanie. The final two are Test and Billy, with Test kicking the tar out of him to win it.

The only problem was that it was obvious given the Scotty segment earlier, but that’s what was expected. Heyman does a very funny bit where he explains what the repercussions of the match are like this: “So no matter what happens, *whispers* the Alliance will win, Test will not be fired no matter what (the Alliance will win!). It’s much funnier than it sounds.

Rating: N/A. I’m going with no rating because it’s a battle royal. How do you grade that? The ending was obvious, but it’s a battle royal. Other than the Rumble, they’re more or less the same, so what do you want me to say?

Now we have a completely random video package of clips of mainly the ten guys in the main event. This is totally out of context and the song has no words or build up to it. It’s just a three minute video of the feud with no words or anything. It’s also the video….OH! This is the WWF Desire videos that they used to run. The original song was My Sacrifice by Creed, but I’m guessing they were way too expensive.

At the time Creed was the hottest thing in the world so that makes sense. The Desire videos were a series of videos that they made attempting to show how important wrestling was. They sound clichéd but they really were freaking sweet at the time and still are. Check them out as they’re worth it. The song fits really well too.

Shane and Booker speculate about whether they can trust Austin or not as we have another few minutes to fill. My only guess is that this is an intermission or something. It’s been about 6-7 minutes since the last match ended. Is there a point to this?

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Jackie vs. Lita vs. Ivory vs. Molly vs. Jazz

Trish’s legs are possibly better than Stacy’s. That’s saying a freaking ton. And now we get to look at Jackie. I can’t stand her. Lita gets a HUGE pop. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it here now: Trish vs. Lita is one of the best feuds I’ve ever seen regardless of gender. It’s the best natural rivalry I’ve seen other than Bret vs. Shawn, which is saying a lot. Molly’s theme music can introduce herself as the song says “Holy sidekicks Hurricane! It’s Mighty Molly”, just as she’s being introduced.

Jazz is debuting here and might as well be the black Chyna. The problem: no one had a clue who she was and she got zero reaction. The rules here are that there are four on the apron and two in the ring so there you go. Ivory and Jackie try to do a nice technical sequence and it just fails in every sense of the word. Trish’s shorts…my goodness that’s not right. More or less it’s a bikini bottom but skin tight.

Other than Lita these women pretty much sucked in the ring. They’re the stereotypical “good” divas that can’t do jack in the ring but we’re told they can and somehow they’re considered good which shows just how weak the division is. We get a Lita chant as naturally everything falls apart and it’s just a wild finisher fest. Trish and the heavenly form send Jazz to the floor and it’s Ivory vs. Trish, who hits the bulldog for the title.

This was her first reign and the first champion after Ivory. She was a complete underdog at this point so this was shocking. Obviously she would improve massively, but this was a big shock. As we transition to the main event, Ross gets a gay joke in about Heyman that surprises me. He says he wouldn’t mind Trish coming into him from behind. I listened to it twice to make sure I didn’t understand it and that’s what he actually said.

Rating: D+. This was a mess, but the looks of Trish and Lita make it pass. It was there for the T & A anyway so who cares. The ending was about as low a level of being historic as you can get while still being historic, so this is technically important, but yeah, it’s about the looks, plain and simple.

After Ross and Heyman bicker like two year olds, Vince addresses his team. We have Big Show, Kane, Taker, Jericho and Rock, with Taker getting a good pop and Rock getting a bit one as he jumps around looking like an idiot. He talks about how if they lose tonight, they will be an embarrassment to everyone and no one will forgive them.

He goes on to list off some names in company history that they would be letting down, including Buddy Rogers (no reaction), Gorilla Monsoon (BIG pop), Andre the Giant (Big pop as he’s looking straight at Taker, bringing about more symbolism than should be allowed), and High Chief Peter Maivia to no reaction at all as I don’t think most people knew who he was. He says forget about Austin tonight.

Jericho just looks out of place there next to Rock and the big three. Also, how appropriate it is to have three super heavyweights given Vince’s affinity for big power guys. Vince was supposed to be on this team but he gave his spot to Big Show, which I like. Vince isn’t a wrestler and for once he makes it about the wrestlers and not him. That’s a good thing. This was a really good speech actually.

Team Alliance (Austin, Booker, RVD, Angle, Shane) come down the hall. Austin is WWF champion and Rock is WCW champion at this point. Let’s hit the recap button for this as the teams might need some explaining, but not a ton. Vince said he had enough of the Invasion and threw out the challenge for this match, which Stephanie and Shane (the owners of ECW and WCW respectively) agreed to.

There’s three main points to this match. First, Angle turned on Vince and the WWF to join the Alliance. Second, Rock and Jericho hate each other, which is a nice touch. Finally, the Alliance doesn’t trust Austin. As for Austin joining the team, it made little sense when he jumped because he said the Alliance guaranteed him the best matches that he could get. By joining them, wouldn’t he be fighting the same guys he had been fighting for years?

Isn’t that saying that the WWF guys are better than the Alliance guys? Or am I reading too much into this? We get a very good video package showing all of the ten people fighting each other, which sounds simple but it’s better than it sounds. It ends with a shot of Austin and Rock, which is the feud in a nutshell.

Team Alliance vs. Team WWF

After literally ten minutes of introductions, we’re ready to go. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music was either funny, hot, or just plain sad. I can’t decide. Immediately it’s Rock vs. Austin, which makes sense I suppose as they’re the real core of this feud. Before you get any other ideas, this isn’t WWF vs. Alliance. It’s a WWF angle, plain and simple. Both guys hit the Thesz Press and the F you elbow with Shane saving Austin despite him not particularly needing it.

Booker vs. Rock follows as we redo Summerslam from this year. Booker was the WCW Rock, complete with the catchphrase to open his song, the People’s Champion mantra, and the finishing move. And that is reason 384 why WCW failed. I need to make a list of that someday. Shane saves Booker this time, so at least that makes sense. WCW violence erupts as Jericho beats up Booker for a bit.

Ross and Heyman argue over who put ECW out of business which is amusing, mainly because according to storyline purposes it’s still in business but whatever. RVD gets a pop and a half. Jericho and Van Dam have a good little match here, as Jericho is wrestling his light weight style which is where I always thought he was best. Today he tends to use the heavyweight style which just doesn’t work that well for me. Jericho hooks the Walls on a counter and Heyman is PANICKING.

Shane of course makes the save though. After a double tag it’s Kane vs. Angle which is an interesting match to say the least. Angle was in between stages in his career here as he’s somewhere between All American good boy and rampaging psycho that knows more ways to hurt people that should be legal. He had recently made Kane tap and Angle Slammed Big Show, so obviously he was on a role at the moment.

Also, this was just after he and Austin had finished an awesome feud with Angle hitting levels of intensity in promo cutting that I didn’t know existed. Those two beat the living tar out of each other, throwing each other all over the place with suplex after suplex in something that was just plain awesome. And because this is pro wrestling they’re friends a month later. Just as I say this, Angle gets a sweet German on Kane. Shane saves Angle as that’s number four.

Now we’re up to Taker and Angle, which is nothing short of a classic most of the time except for when it’s not. Taker hits a sweet kick to Booker’s head to take him down, and of course Shane makes the save again. It makes sense if nothing else though, as he’s the guy with everything to lose. Taker goes for Old School as evidenced by shouting OLD SCHOOL! I really don’t get the point of him doing that. It’s not like he used a wristlock that often.

After Shane makes another save to save us from Booker and Taker’s slow period, Austin comes in. The fans are still way into him, which goes to show how popular he was. Austin vs. Taker really was an epic rivalry. It’s kind of reminiscent of Hogan and Andre when you think about it. You have the big vocal face of the company vs. the guy that’s great but stays in the background most of the time. It’s a simple story but it goes in depth once you look into it a bit.

After the second Old School in about three minutes, Shane…oh screw it you know what he does by now. Taker just starts punching the tar out of Angle which never gets old. Heyman finally does what everyone has wanted to do for years and asks JR what the deal is with his obsession with taking men to the woodshed. Ross has nothing to say as Big Show comes in for the first time, rocking that one piece swimsuit he used to wear.

Naturally he lasts about a minute as an Angle Slam, axe kick, 5 Star and a Shane elbow drop end him to make it 5-4. Can the forces of evil really overcome the forces of good? Heck if I know as there’s at least half an hour left in this match. In a funny moment after the pin, Shane is dancing around celebrating as Rock is waiting on him. The Alliance guys point it out to him and he slowly stops dancing before turning around and looking scared. That was great.

Rock’s punches seem to miss by about a mile to me, but maybe I’m missing something. After a Kane chokeslem, a Taker tombstone and a Lionsault, we’re tied up. Heyman as usual is priceless during this. Angle comes in now as we need a spatula for Shane. I love how Heyman is freaking despite the fact that Shane got the same treatment that Show got earlier. Also I love how he complains about how stupid Show is, despite him taking Show in as the ECW Champion in about five years.

It’s Angle vs. Jericho now in another match that has a natural rivalry that I’ll never get tired of watching. I’ve come to the conclusion that Booker is just flat out boring. He’s been in there about three times now and he’s just killed the momentum every single time. He’s slow and boring, which is a bad combination to consist of.

Ross points out the same thing I noticed earlier about how the WWF is mainly power, which makes sense as most of the Alliance guys are finesse or technical guys, which is either a very subtle and nice touch, or a complete coincidence. The WWF team beats up RVD, prompting Heyman to say he believes they’re trying to isolate him. Well thank you very much for that. I never would have noticed.

Booker and RVD are in at the same time with Kane, who naturally gets no help from his partners because, you know, that would be helpful. Van Dam had pinned Kane and Taker this past week, so he’s hot right now which is kind of a joke considering Kane is in there, but it wasn’t that funny. I need to work on my comedy more I think.

The Five Star (which is still the most amazing live move I’ve ever seen) hits but Kane grabs Van Dam by the throat, leading to Booker running in, which leads to the massive brawl that you knew was coming. During the fracas, Van Dam hits a kick from the top to eliminate Kane. In a cool moment, Taker has one member of the Alliance in each of the corners and keeps them there by running back and forth, clotheslining them all in order.

He does about eight clotheslines in a row before knocking Booker to the floor. Angle takes a Last Ride but Booker comes in with a chair. Taker knocks him down but walks into the Stunner. Angle is dragged over and despite not being legal, gets the pin. That takes us down to Rock and Jericho vs. Austin, Booker, RVD and Angle. Dang that’s a lot of gold between six guys. Booker kicks/knees the tar out of Rock.

Rock hits a DDT and covers Booker but it doesn’t work, which it shouldn’t have any way as Booker’s shoulder was about right inches off the mat. Booker is thrown into Angle, allowing him to be rolled up to make it 3-2. I like that actually, as it’s not something stupid and it actually makes sense for Booker to go out that way.

Rock hooks a cool move on Van Dam as RVD’s back was to the Great One and Rock more or less powerbombs him down, but does it with one arm so it’s like a roll up from the top which gets two. Jericho is finally back in and they nearly botch a spot, but Jericho makes a last second save to turn it into a swinging neckbreaker. That was nice. In a sequence that’s just flat out awesome due to what it means now.

Jericho avoids a split legged moonsault and hits the Breakdown for the pin on Van Dam, which looked awful because Van Dam dropped to a knee so the move got ZERO reaction. The reason it’s cool is Van Dam missed what is now Morrison’s finisher to get caught in Miz’s finisher. That’s awesome and one of the biggest reasons I love watching old wrestling. You get to see stuff like that which wouldn’t have meant a thing eight years ago but now is kind of cool, or at least it is to me.

Who would have guessed it would come down to the four guys that have been fighting on both sides? We have two fights going on at once, with Austin hitting a slingshot on Rock, who of course oversells by more or less throwing a flying headbutt into the post. Heyman says they can find a spot for Rock if nothing else for his t-shirt sales.

We move to Austin vs. Jericho which is a feud that could have been great but never happened, I guess due to a generation gap. I think I might see why now as they badly botch a spot and the bad attempt at a save just fails miserably.

Jericho and Angle are in there now and Jericho hooks the ankle lock as we continue to shame the history of Ken Shamrock, who would win the TNA World Title in about nine months. Actually it was the NWA World Title at the time, but it was exclusive to TNA so whatever. The heels take their time beating on Jericho which at least makes sense. It’s fairly slow and boring, but it’s working to an extent I suppose.

We get a double hot tag to give us Rock vs. Angle. Rock hits the awful belly to belly to set up the even worse Sharpshooter to which Angle shockingly taps. More on that later. Since Rock is a jackass, he won’t let go until Austin knocks him off. Heyman’s panicking is just great here. Jericho can’t get the Walls, but Austin does of all things, but they last about a second. Austin is bleeding, and of course it’s profusely since it’s PPV.

Since it hasn’t been mentioned all match, we suddenly remember that Austin might be jumping, despite Vince saying it was nonsense. Austin counters Jericho’s roll up into one of his own, and wouldn’t you know it, the final two are Rock and Austin. For the life of me, I NEVER would have seen this as the final two. Ok that’s a lie but whatever. As Austin and Rock are getting going, Jericho hits Rock with the Breakdown, which technically should be a DQ.

Actually it shouldn’t be since it’s his own team so never mind. Rock naturally kicks out. Jericho heads back to the ring but Taker comes out for the save. That’s a feud that sadly never happened. They just had their first match in September of this year. That’s saying a lot. If Rock ever sold any big spot properly I think I’d have a heart attack. I get the point in doing it, but it’s just way too much most of the time, at least in my eyes.

They fight to the floor and land in the most famous of all places. Rock lands some punches square in the shoulder of Austin which for some reason keep him down. Ross and Heyman are just laying into each other on commentary and it’s great. I have no issue with the announcers being biased in circumstances like this. Austin hooks a bad Sharpshooter because we have to have a Montreal reference at every major show in history.

Austin isn’t even leaning back on it so it just looks like Rock has his legs up. There’s no heat on the move at all from the crowd because it looks so awful and no one buys that Rock is in a lot of pain at all. A belt shot from Austin misses and it’s the third bad Sharpshooter of the night. Dang is this some golden edition of the Montreal reference package or something? It’s a sad thing when Rock’s Sharpshooter is better than someone else’s but that’s the case here.

In a cool scene, Austin has the WWF belt and is holding onto it as he tries to get to the ropes. For once, Ross points something out and says being champion is Austin’s life and is the reason he won’t tap. That’s ridiculous because it’s been made clear that champions won’t get fired, but at least Ross is trying. In a stupid thing, Austin gets the ropes but Rock pulls him away, so Hebner keeps checking for the submission. Yeah that makes a lot of sense.

On the second time though Earl makes him break it. What’s the point of that? Y am I wasting my time trying to figure this out? Since it’s Rock vs. Austin, Rock hits a Stunner, allegedly on the inventor of it, but I don’t see Mikey Whipwreck anywhere. Nick Patrick runs out to pull Hebner out to prevent the three as Heyman says he’s a licensed official.

For some reason the idea of taking the test for your refereeing license amuses me. What’s the test like? If you mess up more than three counts you don’t pass? Do you have to learn how many taps there are in a proper tap out? Ok it’s not as funny as I thought it was. Austin hits a Rock Bottom of his own but of course he kicks out. Austin beats up Patrick, because that’s just what he does.

Since it’s a major PPV, Hebner goes down. Rock takes another Stunner and amazingly only oversells a bit. There’s no referee though as I wonder why Vince doesn’t just call for the bell on his own. It’s his show, so it’s not like it would be mind blowing. Angle runs out and screws the Alliance by hitting Austin with the belt straight into the Rock Bottom for the perfectly timed conscious Hebner to end the Alliance. The crowd was electric over this.

Heyman is at a loss for words, which shows how huge of a moment this is. Ross screams that Heyman is out of work AGAIN, which is great. Fink’s announcement of the winning organization is absolutely perfect. Stephanie is crying badly as the WWF guys are celebrating. What I meant earlier was that Angle was apparently sent into the Alliance by Vince, and it turned out that Angle, not Austin, was the one that would turn all along.

This wound up ticking off Taker, setting up his heel turn and massive haircut. Oh look, it’s Vince to take credit for something that he played absolutely zero part in. It’s good to know that some things never change. The sight of Vince holding up his arms in triumph in a WCW town no less takes us out.

Rating: B. The two problems here are very obvious. First of all, there was zero chance that the WWF would lose. Second, it was beyond obvious that it would come down to Austin vs. Rock in their I guess 23rd PPV ending fight. The match itself is good if not very good, but there’s just no drama whatsoever, which they clearly tried to put in by having Jericho and Rock against four guys and then Jericho screwing Rock.

Even still though, the ending was never once in doubt. I get that it had to be that way, but they booked themselves into a huge corner here and it showed badly. I don’t think this could have been a classic, but it was about as good as it could have been.

As for what happens after this, the next PPV, Vengeance, would be the famous night where Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night for the first ever Undisputed Title. Allegedly that was supposed to go to HHH but he wasn’t completely healed yet. He would take the belt from Jericho at Mania. Also, tomorrow night Flair would show up as the person that bought up Shane and Stephanie’s stock and became co-owner in a shocker.

That would eventually lead to the Brand Split which still defines the company to this day. As for the rest of them, nothing of note happened at all. Naturally the major stars of the Alliance stayed while a lot of the weaker guys became jobbers. The Brand Split really did help a lot of issues as it saved a lot of jobs. Who cares that the fans hated it? Since when have we cared what they think? Oh and on a final random note, Lawler would be back tomorrow on Raw.

Overall Rating: C+. The problem with this show as a hole is simple: other than the main event, not a thing mattered. No one cared about anything but the Survivor Series match. While the other stuff is technically important, no one cared and that’s all there was to it. The show is good enough, but the lack of drama just kills it. If it were me, I would have waited at least another six months for this, but granted I wasn’t around for it and there could have been outside factors.

I can’t imagine what they could have been, but they might have existed. The show is worth checking out for the historic aspect, but I’d say just check out the cage match and the main event, because other than that the show is completely forgettable. I barely remembered anything about the card at all when I watched it if that tells you anything. Not really recommended, but it’s not bad enough to recommend to avoid.

Ok, so now that the show is over, my thoughts on the Invasion as a whole. Clearly it wasn’t what it could have been had they been patient and waited about another year to have Hogan, Nash, Flair, Goldberg and I guess RVD out there. Flair showed up on Raw the next night, Hall, Nash and Hogan in February, so it’s not like these guys were an eternity away. But that’s not the biggest issue I see in why it failed. Take a look at Team Alliance for this show.

We have Austin, Angle, Booker, RVD and Shane. In other words, three WWF guys and one each from ECW and WCW. That’s where this show and plan falls apart on all levels. This never was about WWF vs. ECW or WCW. It was about putting down the other two companies to stroke Vince’s ego even more which is evidenced at the end of the show. Vince celebrating is the last thing you see, as it’s his moment again rather than the company’s or the wrestlers’.

That’s why the company is in the shape it’s in now: it’s all about Vince. Think about all the bad comedy angles that go on, especially with the guest hosts. It’s because Vince has no idea what’s funny anymore. He’s mainly on Raw and that’s where the stupid stuff happens. Smackdown and ECW are well written, action-oriented shows, which is what they’re supposed to be.

On paper this looks awesome, but with so few people that actually make sense in this, there was just no way it could work. It could have worked had it been given more time and effort, but there’s just no way to pull off what should have been the biggest storyline of all time in six months, plain and simple.

 

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Monday Night Raw – November 7, 2011 – Ryder Main Events And It Fits!

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 7, 2011
Location: Liverpool Echo Arena, Liverpool, England
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re not live in England tonight as the show was taped earlier today. I’ve managed to avoid spoilers which is a rare thing for me on a taped show. Brodus Clay re-debuts tonight because he’s never been associated with Alberto or anything like that. Otherwise, expect more of Awesome Truth vs. Cena tonight because Rock can’t be bothered to be with the people that he’s champion of. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He talks about how Mania tickets are on sale, how Rock is coming back to be his partner at Survivor Series, and everything is leading to Wrestlemania. However, we should make history tonight. He gets to team with a future Hall of Famer to face Awesome Truth tonight though. Cue Awesome Truth before we hear who that Hall of Famer is.

Miz talks about how they’ve beaten down Cena before and he did something that not Batista, HBK, HHH or anyone else could do: beat Cena at Wrestlemania. Truth says nothing of note. Cena says that his partner is expanding faster than the world itself and he’s the tenth wonder of the world, among other things. Miz cuts him off again before Cena can say who it is. Awesome Truth gets in for the beatdown and here’s Ryder of all people to make the save. They clear the ring and Cena does the fist pump. Ryder is the partner apparently.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Non-title here. The announcers talk about Morrison’s losing streak and about how he’s talked about how he needs to get back to square one. They go to the mat and trade headlocks with the crowd being a bit silent. Ziggler drops an elbow for two as we talk about Ryder’s US Title shot petition. Morrison sends him to the floor but as he sets for a dive Dolph takes his head off for two as we take a break.

Back with Morrison working on the neck with some elbows to it and then a neck lock. Big dropkick puts Morrison down. They’re totally going through the motions here. Morrison gets all fired up for a bit but that doesn’t last long for him at all. Off to a chinlock and then a clothesline for two. Notice that he’s staying on the neck but mixing up the attack on it. That’s a very nice touch.

Morrison catches something and counters it into a slingshot and the fast paced comeback. A tornado DDT gets two. Starship Pain misses and Ziggler gets a sunset flip for two. The running knee misses and there’s a Fameasser for two. This match is getting a lot more time than I would have expected it to get. Zig Zag is countered and there’s the Flying Chuck. Vickie has the referee and Dolph grabs a rollup for two. Morrison counters into one of his own for the shocking pin at 13:07.

Rating: C+. Morrison……WON A MATCH??? They were implying that he might by talking about the losing streak so much, but this was really surprising which made for a much more fun ending. I mean, how interesting can a match be when you know who is going to win? Having a twist there (but not a huge one) is a nice surprise and it worked really well here. Fun stuff.

We’ll have Team Orton vs. Team Barrett at Survivor Series.

Mason Ryan vs. JTG

Oh geez isn’t seeing him on NXT enough? Seriously what do you expect here? A full nelson slam ends this at 2:23. Ryan is still very sloppy.

Video on the tickets for Mania going on sale.

The Bellas are talking about nothing in particular when Ryder comes up. This uh, happened.

The Michael Cole Challenge will be taking place next week due to, according to Cole, JR carrying too much barbecue sauce to get on a plane.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

A quick dropkick puts Alberto on the floor but Kofi totally misses a dive, landing on his arm. Gee what bad luck since he’s fighting a guy with an armbar finisher. Del Rio, the master psychologist that he is, goes straight after the arm. Why is that so hard for other people? Kofi fires back with a cross body for two. A kick that appeared to be Trouble in Paradise misses and Trouble in Paradise ends this in 2:10. Pretty much a squash.

Post match Alberto gets the hold on again and here’s Punk. He’ll talk after the break. Back and they’re already arguing. Punk is in the ring now. Del Rio yells about how Punk waited until Big Show had knocked him out to force a title shot. This draws a huge CM Punk chant. Due to what happened, David Otunga says that Punk should cancel the match. Punk says that he’s sorry for not asking because no one just punches someone in the face anymore around here.

He brings up the MITB cash-in that Del Rio used to get the shot at the title. Punk used Del Rio’s method of cheap shotting someone and it worked. He talks about how Del Rio says the same thing over and over again and how everyone watching on DVR is fast forwarding when Del Rio has a mic because they’re not missing anything. Punk says he’ll make the title interesting again. Del Rio says he’s the best in the world and Punk should cancel the match. Punk of course says no and Del Rio jumps him. The armbreaker is escaped and Punk gets a quick Vice. Ricardo gets his usual beating.

Video on the Muppets. Out of context and for someone that hasn’t watched in awhile, that is the strangest line in a review in years.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

We actually get a Penn State reference and talk about Cole’s challenge a lot. Swagger has dominated so far. They’re making jokes about the Titanic sinking. Ankle lock ends this at 2:59. Thank goodness I don’t have to rate it.

Kelly is up next. For some reason AJ’s music is playing over this.

Here’s Kelly to have her cover of Maxim unveiled. Before it’s unveiled here are Beth and Nattie to talk about how there’s more to being a Diva than looks. They get in her face and say cry before Eve and Alicia make the save.

Johnny Ace brings out Nash who talks about HHH. HHH came to the company in 95 in a pair of slacks and Nash should have buried him then. However, Shawn Michaels saw something in him and HHH was brought into the Kliq. Then in 2011 Diesel comes back to the pop of the night at the Rumble. He calls up HHH and asks about putting the Band back together, but HHH didn’t even call back.

Nash says HHH is nothing without him but HHH is the measuring stick. Diesel says he still has it and he can become a world champion on any given night. He says what he did a few weeks ago felt good so why not do it again when HHH was on a stretcher. That’s how you play the game.

Otunga is talking to Ace about Brodus Clay (just had a video package about him) and the debut is postponed because the British fans don’t deserve him. Punk pops up and commends Ace on his plan to keep Punk out of the title match. Otunga says he can’t see Punk as champion because Punk looks like he works at a gas station. Punk responds by PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE. I love that! Alberto beats him down as Ace demands Del Rio stops, very slowly.

John Cena/Zack Ryder vs. Awesome Truth

Cena vs. Truth starts us off in a Capitol Punishment rematch. Make that Miz very quickly and the beating is on. The fans want Ryder as we’re in the middle of an old school Hogan/buddy of the month style push here. Truth comes in and the fans want Ryder. Now Truth wants Ryder. Cena chases both heels off and we don’t have a tag yet for the good guys. Oh there it is and listen to that POP for Ryder.

Ryder sends him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ryder snapping off an armdrag and a missile dropkick for two on Miz. You know, the guy that was world champion for the longest time in like 3 years less than a year ago. Off to Cena who gets beaten down by Truth. Off to a bow and arrow hold with Truth not cranking on it at all. At least flex dude. There’s the hot tag to Ryder who cleans house.

He hits the double knees in the corner and a Broski Boot with Cena (complete with sunglasses) hitting one on Truth at the same time. Rough Ryder is avoided and Miz hammers away. Miz hits the corner clothesline and does You Can’t See Me to Cena. Truth hooks on a chinlock as this is getting some time. We’re over 16 minutes in now and both guys are down off a double clothesline.

There are your double tags for a Mania main event rematch. Cena beats them both up and hits a double Shuffle with Ryder joining in. Truth and Ryder go to the floor and Cena loads up the AA. Miz escapes into a cover and Truth hooks the feet. Miz gets the pin at 17:18 and the announcers either missed it or that wasn’t the planned finish (probably the former) as they didn’t react for about two seconds after it happened.

Rating: C+. Pretty entertaining tag match here as they let all four guys have some time and we got a decent match out of it. The ending was odd but I think that might be due to the announcers messing something up. Also, kind of cool to see a match like this not just ending after about 8 minutes for a change though. Fun stuff.

Overall Rating: C+. I could see how some people wouldn’t like this but it wasn’t that bad. With them being in England there was only so much they were going to do but they’re running out of weeks to keep things in this holding pattern for so long. Most of the show is set which is a good thing but there have been too many shows lately where it seems like they’re just waiting around for Rock to save them. Instead, do as Jericho’s Titantron said for awhile: save yourselves.

Results
John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup
Mason Ryan b. JTG – Full nelson slam
Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker
Jack Swagger b. Santino Marella – Ankle Lock
Awesome Truth b. John Cena/Zack Ryder – Miz pinned Cena after R-Truth tripped Cena

 

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TNA Announces Deal With OVW

http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/209506/TNA-Announces-New-Training-Deal-With-OVW.htm

 

I follow OVW and this is good news for TNA.  OVW doesn’t need the help but they can get some extra promotion and maybe some TNA talent out there.  Good stuff.

 

Thoughts?




Ring of Honor – November 5, 2011 – Worst Show Yet

Ring of Honor
Date: November 5, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

This is week what, 8? I’m not sure what to expect from this one but it’s probably going to be more of the build to Final Battle. If nothing else that show is going to be very well established when we get there. Expect more of Richards vs. House of Truth which would be great to have in a Survivor Series/Team match. Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event where Strong beat O’Reilly.

The main event tonight Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team vs. a new team.

Here’s Cornette to make an important announcement. Final Battle is the show of the year so the world title match is going to be Richards defending against………..Eddie Edwards. Yeah no one else is surprised about this as Edwards is Richards’ partner and the guy he beat for the title in the first place. Edwards says it’ll be Edwards vs. Richards III (Edwards beat Richards in the final of a tournament for the first ROH TV Title.

The camera shots are way too close here at times. Edwards talks about all the training that Richards does. Edwards says he has a new trainer but won’t say who it is right now. Could this be a heel turn? Cue Richards who is really short. He says they’re going to do this one more time for this belt right here which means something, unlike most others. It’s wolf vs. wolf and it’s on in New York.

One more thing before Richards leaves though. Regarding the House of Truth, next week how about we have the American Wolves vs. the House of Truth? Edwards says it’s on, but remember that when the fans are chanting next world champ at them, they mean Edwards, because he’s going to win at Final Battle.

Here’s a video on Edwards and his road to Final Battle which included beating Michael Elgin a few weeks ago.

Truth Martini and Elgin say that only what Martini says matters. Elgin apparently caused his brother to be badly injured by not taking keys from him. And he hurt his father before he died. I guess this is more of Martini’s brainwashing.

Elgin’s dinner for tonight says nothing of note.

Shiloh Jonze vs. Michael Elgin

Jonze (yes that’s how it’s spelled) is an OVW guy. Elgin won’t shake hands. He’s a big power guy who hammers Jonze down in the corner with ease. Jonze gets a boot up in the corner but a tornado DDT is easily countered into a powerslam. Jonze tries some clotheslines and a sunset flip but the latter is countered. The counter however is avoided and Jonze goes up for a top rope punch, getting two. There’s a buckle bomb and a helicopter bomb ends the torture at 3:45.

Rating: C-. I don’t know what to say about squashes and this was a very squashy one. I guess this was to let Elgin get back in the good graces after the loss to the bigger star in Edwards. Nothing boring here and it did the right job as a squash. Still though, not much to see and when you have two matches on the show, one being under four minutes isn’t a good idea.

We talk about ROH banning Kevin Steen. There’s a video from attorney Christopher Mascagni (midcard heel manager in OVW) who is representing Kevin Steen. There’s a lawsuit against Steen which says Cornette cost him his career or something. Cornette has four weeks to fix this. Steen says that he should beat up Cornette and he won’t go away. He has things to do when he comes back and will do whatever it takes, including beating Davey Richards if need be, which only he can do. Then Cornette will admit Steen belongs in ROH.

Mike Bennett says he won the TV Title match so he didn’t bother going into overtime. The referee says he had no intention in ending the match. Lethal says he injured himself instead of Bennett doing the damage. I’d like to point out that we’re almost 35 minutes into a 60 minute show and we’ve had less than four minutes of in ring time.

Video on the tag match last week where the Briscoes beat the All Night Express.

We discuss the Proving Ground. The idea is any credible opponent can apply for a match with a champion. Once approved, they get a match with a set time limit which is non-title. If they win or go to a time limit draw, they get a title shot in 60 days.

Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

This is one of those Proving Ground matches. There’s a 15 minute time limit here. Alexander has the blonde mowhawk. Got it. Coleman vs. Benjamin starts us off. Benjamin works on the arm to start and Coleman can’t get anything going. He’s trying though so give him some points for that. Coleman manages to send him to the corner and gets a surprised look from Shelton.

Off to Haas vs. Alexander who is a bit more physical than his partner. Benjamin gets a blind tag in and kicks Alexander down for two. The champs have never really been in trouble at all. Haas works over the knee as we take a break. Back with Alexander fighting out of something by Benjamin but Shelton kicks him down with ease. Haas works on a leg lock but eventually walks into a bad tornado DDT.

We’re over ten minutes in now if this is in real time. Double tag brings in Coleman and Benjamin who is taken down by a leg lariat for two. We have less than four minutes according to Kelly. The non-champions speed things up and hit a double dropkick to send Haas into the barricade. Three minutes left. Their clock is about 10 seconds off but it’s close enough. There’s a double powerbomb to Coleman and we’re done at 12:55.

Rating: C. Uh…so? The champions beat the newcomers with their finishing move. Is this supposed to be surprising in a way or something? If Coleman and Alexander were worth something they would be on the roster already. Not a bad match or anything but it’s not like anything changes now or in the future. I don’t mean it hurt anything but it didn’t change things at all.

Post match here are the Briscoes. They say they’re awesome and will take the titles in New York.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the least interesting shows on the entire series so far. Everything was designed to set up future shows and we only had two squashes (for the most part) in the whole show. Not much to see here and they really need to work on their pacing some more. I wasn’t liking this show and after two months, that’s not good.

Results
Michael Elgin b. Shiloh Jonze – Helicopter Powerbomb
Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team b. Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander – Wrestling’s Greatest Finisher to Coleman

 

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Smackdown – November 4, 2011 – Smackdown Still Has It

Smackdown
Date: November 4, 2011
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

I’m not sure what we’re going to have tonight as we’re on the road to MSG and Survivor Series but nothing has really been announced. I’m pretty sure you can pencil in Show vs. Henry II so maybe that gets announced tonight. Other than that though the card is pretty blank on the Blue show so maybe we get a little something tonight. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a short little woman that can’t stay out of people’s business and happens to be my boss.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

This is a street fight. Cole talks about how this is going to put the rivalry to an end so I guess this is the official blowoff. The crowd sounds very hot tonight. I guess they got a better audio inputer. The white belt on the crazy man champion is a nice touch. Cody is looking extra jacked tonight. Feeling out process to start until Orton takes over with a headlock. A dropkick sends Cody to the floor.

The brawl heads outside and Cody is getting intense. There’s a knee drop to the Viper and it gets two back inside. Orton is getting all fired up and slams Cody into the steps twice. A clothesline takes us into the crowd as this is looking to be a pretty good fight. Orton hammers away and sends Rhodes into a wall of some kind. One of the baggers gets backdropped and the other takes an RKO. Rhodes cowers on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Randy hammering on Cody on the ramp. Rhodes starts firing back and sets to suplex Randy off the stage. Wouldn’t that pull Cody with him? Randy counters with one of his own onto the steel and pounds down on Cody in the aisle. Back to the ring and Orton brings him in with a superplex. A delayed cover gets two. Both guys get up slowly and Rhodes gets a dropkick for two.

They hit the floor again and Rhodes is all ticked off. Cody charges at Orton but gets backdropped onto the timekeeper. Randy walks into a mask shot to put him down and we take another break. Back with Randy being thrown over the announce table as Cody is all fired up. Good heat for Rhodes as he goes to an armbar. Well it works the shoulder so it makes sense on Orton.

Orton keeps trying to fight back but Cody keeps pouring it on. Rhodes works on the knee and hooks of a Figure Four which is pretty smart. He takes the mask off and drills Orton in the head with it. Counting commercials this match has been going over 20 minutes now so this is one of the longer TV matches in awhile. Orton grabs the mask and drills Cody with it before loading up the RKO.

Cody shoves him off and drills the Beautiful Disaster. This has been an awesome match so far. Cross Rhodes is countered into a backdrop but the elevated DDT is countered as well. They head over the to barricade and Cody gets draped over them. The elevated DDT hits, but this time it’s outside on the floor. Rhodes is DONE. The bonus RKO ends this at 15:56 shown of 22:56.

Rating: B+. Very solid TV match here with Rhodes getting closer than ever to beating Randy. I can understand not putting Rhodes over and at least the loss is to someone clearly higher up on the food chain than him. Randy has a lot better resume when they take the rules away and when the matches are longer with this and his matches against Christian being good examples. Fun match and I was into it by the end.

In a nice cap to the feud, Randy bags Cody. Orton takes the mask with him.

Too long recap of HHH vs. Nash, who is now re-signed. Wasn’t he signed already?

Ted DiBiase vs. Tyson Kidd

Dibiase takes over to start but that doesn’t last long at all. Cole managed to go almost 40 minutes without making fun of Booker and he falls just short of it. The match is completely ignored as we argue over who has the most Twitter followers. Dream Street is countered once but the second attempt ends this at 2:06. Pretty much just a step above a squash.

Mark Henry says he’s tired of answering questions about Vengeance. Henry walks away and finds Daniel Bryan. He accuses Bryan of thinking of cashing in tonight but Bryan insists he’s waiting until Wrestlemania. Henry says it doesn’t matter how long Bryan waits. He’s going to go find Teddy Long and make a match between them tonight. That gets a pop from the crowd.

Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

this is supposed to be retribution for the Halloween battle royal or something like that. Alicia tries early on but Natalya is too much for her. Natalya: “You stuck your nose where it doesn’t belong!” Alicia: “THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY NOSE!!!” Natalya was choking her at the time so Alicia’s priorities are a bit out of whack. Speaking of out of, out of nowhere Alicia hits a scissors kick for the pin at 1:24. So she’s the flavor of the month now.

Here’s Big Show who says he’d rather fight than talk. He has unfinished business with Mark Henry and therefore, until he gets his rematch, he’s going to knock Henry out on every Smackdown. Cue Christian who says Show wants one more match. Christian however deserves one more shot because he’s gotten screwed over and over. Show has his hand by his head but says he’s scratching his head. For some reason Christian goes at him and there’s a chokeslam for you. He has a match with Sheamus next too.

After a break Sheamus is here but Christian is too hurt to go. Cue Barrett who says he’ll be a replacement.

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

Works for me. This is going to be a power brawl which is almost always fun. They slug it out to start and both guys has a brief advantage through their power games in the opening minute and a half. Sheamus hits the forearms to the chest and the slingshot shoulder for two. Barrett takes over and hits a big boot to send Sheamus out to the floor. That’s not something you see all that often but it happened here.

After a break Christian is still outside selling the chokeslam. Barrett has a bow and arrow hold on Sheamus but the very pale one is fighting out of it. A middle rope elbow gets two. Back to another chinlock as this has been mostly Barrett. Sheamus fires back but can’t hook the High Cross. The fans are split as Sheamus fights up. This would have made better sense next week when the show was in England but Barrett will be a face then. Here’s another High Cross attempt but Christian pops up as a distraction, letting Wade roll him up for the pin at 7:27 shown of 10:57.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun match here as the power brawls are always worth seeing. Barrett’s push continues and I’d love to see him challenge whoever is the face champion after Henry loses it. These two usually have entertaining matches when they pound on each other with reckless abandon and it worked here.

Sheamus is MAD post match following a spear from Christian.

Post break Sheamus is destroying Christian in the back until Barrett comes up for the save. Sheamus beats him up as well. This is probably build for the Survivor Series match.

The Muppets were on Raw and it’s still awesome.

Bryan is in the back (pop) when Show comes in (BIG pop) saying that he’ll be in Bryan’s corner tonight.

Sin Cara vs. Epico

Epico is a Mexican guy that I don’t recognize but is probably out of FCW. Pretty speedy start as you would expect until the Mexican hits a German on the Mexican to take over. There’s a Gory Special but Cara escapes and speeds things up. Cara goes up for the Swanton but here’s Hunico for the DQ at 2:17.

The double beatdown continues post match and Cara is left laying.

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Non-title here and Big Show is with Bryan. Bryan has a huge beard now. Henry throws Bryan into the air but gets caught in a guillotine choke. It lasts all of 5 seconds but still, it existed. Bryan gets sent to the floor again and Henry squashes his head against the post. He squashes Bryan’s head, not his own. Bryan has had practically no offense so far.

Off to a chinlock but Bryan fires off kicks, including a series to the knee to take him down. In standard giant vs. small man formula though, the fans pop as Bryan knocks him down but after all that Bryan is launched off during the pin. Back to the guillotine but he doesn’t have his hands locked. Henry casually throws Bryan off in a release northern lights suplex. There’s a running splash in the corner. There’s another splash and here’s Show for the DQ with the big right hand at 6:24.

Rating: C-. This was a squash for all intents and purposes. Henry wasn’t breaking a sweat at all here and I think that was the intended idea. By making Bryan look horribly weak at the beginning of this he can grow and look stronger by the end if he wins the title. Nothing that interesting but it also sets up the Show vs. Henry rematch.

Post match Show pours water over Bryan and says cash it in now. Bryan is barely alive so after figuring out what planet he’s on he tries to cash in, but Henry gets up and hits the Slam. The bell never rang so the case is safe. Henry knocks Show out with the case post match and hits the Slam on him as well. Teddy comes out and makes the match for Survivor Series to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Good show tonight with a lot going on. We get a pretty definitive ending to Orton vs. Rhodes, the main event from Smackdown set up, the upper midcard rivalry advanced with Barrett joining Team Christian, the midcard match advanced with Cara vs. the Evil Mexicans, and apparently the start of a moderate DiBiase push. This was old school Smackdown and it worked very well. Good show.

Results
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO
Ted DiBiase b. Tyson Kidd – Dream Street
Alicia Fox b. Natalya – Scissors Kick
Wade Barrett b. Sheamus – Rollup
Sin Cara b. Epico via DQ when Hunico interfered
Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Big Show interfered

 

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Impact Wrestling – November 3, 2011 – New! Champion!

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 3, 2011
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

We’re on the road again in Georgia because we’re not allowed to go outside the SEC for some reason. Tonight’s main event is the Beer Money explosion because who needs months of build for a team that people have wanted to see feud for a very long time? I mean, they’ve had a week to build things up so that’s more than enough time I suppose. Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Storm vs. Roode which is still thrown together way faster than it should be.

Here’s the champ to open the show. He talks about respect because this is TNA. You say yes ma’am and no sir and you hold the door open for a lady. He talks about how he’s not going to be a champion that fights seven days a week because he watches football on Saturdays and Sunday is for church. Storm says he’s been around the world six times and there’s been one man at his side every time.

Cue Roode to a nice pop. Storm says they’re fighting tonight and his daughter wants to hold the belt after they go to Chuck E. Cheese. Roode says exactly what you would expect him to say. It’s the we’ve been friends forever and we’ll steal the show tonight jazz.

Ronnie from the Jersey Shore is here with Eric Young because TNA thinks we care.

Knockout Tag Titles: Tara/Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Time for the monthly defense of the titles. Brooke’s outfit is designed like a Texas flag for some reason. She and Madison start us off but it’s off to Tara quickly. The arm work begins as the champions are tagging fast. Gail comes in and is all dominant and evil for a bit. Tessmacher’s corner hijinks don’t really work this time. Gail beats on Brooke a bit more until it’s a hot tag to Tara. Everything breaks down and there’s the Widow’s Peak. Karen Jarrett has the referee though and Eat Defeat gives us new champions at 5:05.

Rating: D+. It’s not like anyone cares about the belts, but this is what you do with the titles here as they’re actually having a division wide angle going on. Karen is evil and trying to have her girls get the titles. It’s not particularly interesting but a dull story is better than a repetitive one on a treadmill like the Divas have so this was fine, just not that interesting.

Garrett Bischoff won’t apologize to his father tonight.

Garrett is in the ring after a break and calls his dad down to the ring. Garrett apologizes for not being the man his father wanted to be but he’s most sorry he didn’t do this years ago. With that he blasts his dad and beats him down until Flair and Gunner make the save.

Joe comes up to Sting and offers help with whatever Sting might need. Sting says it’s cool as there’s no Bischoff to mess with anything right now. Joe says he’s not going to be shut up even with a new sheriff in town. If Sting doesn’t respect Joe, there might be some mysterious injuries. Sting says cool. Joe leaves and here are Bischoff and Flair. Bischoff says Sting can’t fire him so Eric wants a match: his son against someone to be named later. If Sting grants it, Sting can rewrite Eric’s contract.

Daniels says that he’s awesome and beat AJ and never said he quit. He wants title shots because he’s earned them. Daniels says he beat RVD last week. As he’s talking, RVD pops up behind him but Daniels doesn’t see him. He goes on a rant about the screwdriver last week (Daniels that is) and the cameraman asks Rob if he has any thoughts. The thought is a right hand and a brawl breaks out. RVD beats him up and Daniels runs. RVD implies there’s a match at Turning Point.

Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries

Non-title here. Kid Kash sits down on commentary to rant about old vs. new as usual. They speed things up a lot and Kash is already on my nerves. Sorensen misses a dive to the floor and Aries hits a GREAT suicide dive as Sorensen was flattened against the barricade. Kash spends the whole match ranting about how great he is and how he’ll be respected and all that jazz. Sorensen starts his comeback which doesn’t last long. Aries takes over again and hits a running dropkick in the corner to put Sorensen down. He loads up the brainbuster but Sorensen grabs a small package for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C+. That dive really was awesome and a lot of this grade is for that. They beat on each other out there and it was a pretty fun match. They kept it short which is the right idea for X-Division matches as it keeps them from getting dull. Fun little match and it gives Aries a new opponent. Keep Kash away from anything that amplifies his voice though.

Post match Kash threatens to cut Sorensen with a knife.

Storm says the title is his and he’s keeping it.

Roode says this is the match they’ve talked about for years.

Here are the Robs for the Jersey Shore segment. Robbie E runs down Ronnie and Young (who are in the ring now) and I guess this is going to be a tag match. Oh joy. Robbie keeps calling people hamsters. A brawl breaks out and it’s Big Rob dominating. Ronnie gets whipped by a belt and the heels leave. Eric gets up and suggests a tag match.

Bully Ray/Jeff Jarrett vs. Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy

Anderson looks like he has darker hair now. No complains about the double feuds in one match. Ray vs. Hardy starts us off and they trade some shots. Off to Jarrett but that goes nowhere either. Ray comes in and hammers away as Hardy does what he does best: sell things like death. Jeff finally gets the tag off to Anderson as Ray comes in as well. Everything breaks down and here’s Scott Steiner to break things up and crotch Anderson for the DQ at 5:38.

Rating: D+. The main event better be good and I think that’s what they’re setting up for here. Everything else has been really short and it looks like they’re setting up for a huge title match to close the show which is fine. This set up both presumable PPV matches (though do we need more Anderson vs. Ray?) which is always a good idea. Boring match though.

Sting comes up to Garrett in the back and says he’s known him since he was 6 years old. That might raise a few questions but I’m not sure if it does or not. Garrett says he’ll take the match with whoever his dad picks.

Here’s Morgan who calls out Crimson. Morgan talks about how he’s always hearing about how he’s always being asked if he can beat Crimson. He talks about how he’s the real giant in pro wrestling and says let’s give the fans what they want. Crimson says he’s been thinking about it too, but let’s raise the stakes. That means…let’s just have a match. Ok then.

Hype video for the title match.

TNA World Title: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start as they’re playing up the idea that they know each other very well. Off to a test of strength which doesn’t last long. Neither guy has an advantage as we go to a break. Back with Storm ramming shoulders into Roode in the corner. They keep countering each other and Roode can’t get much of an advantage. Storm stays ahead with a superplex but both guys are down.

They slug it out and Storm takes over with some running shots. Blockbuster gets two for Roode. Backstabber gets two for the champ. Eye of the Storm is countered into a spinebuster for two. They head to the floor and both guys barely get back inside in time. Storm tries an Orton DDT but gets countered into a Crossface. Storm makes a rope and Roode is frustrated. Roode tries a superplex but Storm counters into a top rope elbow for two.

This is getting good. Last Call misses as Roode grabs the fisherman’s suplex. Storm counters that and is almost sent into the referee. The referee avoids the contact but twists his knee in the process as Roode is sent to the floor. Roode succumbs to the demons inside and grabs the beer bottle which he breaks over Storm’s head to BIG heat. It gives him the world title at 17:40.

Rating: B. This was a very solid match that could have easily main evented a PPV with about five minutes extra. Still though, good stuff here and that’s what they needed to do. I’m really not sure I like the ending but it’s TNA after all so how good can it get? The heel turn was needed, but Roode is going to have to step up his emotions as a heel to deserve this spot. Good match though.

Overall Rating: C+. The title change alone makes this worth checking out. As is almost always the case with TNA, the end result is fine but the path of getting there is bad. The problem is that this could have been a PPV main event easily but instead it’s thrown together here on a week’s notice. The heel turn is a good thing as there isn’t really a top heel coming into this show so Roode gives you that guy. Decent stuff, but it’s strictly a one match show.

Results
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Brooke Tessmacher/Tara – Eat Defeat to Tara
Jesse Sorensen b. Austin Aries – Small Package
Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray/Jeff Jarrett via DQ when Scott Steiner interfered
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Pin after a beer bottle to the head

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 31, 2011 – MUPPETS

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2011
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Stars; The Muppets

I’m not going to lie: I’m a diehard Muppets fan. I’m going to absolutely lose it when they come out and I don’t care who knows about it. As for the show, I really don’t care as it’s going to pale in comparison to all of the stuff with them. Henry vs. Punk is happening tonight and if Punk wins, he gets the shot at Del Rio in New York. Let’s get to it.

We open with Rock on satellite from earlier today. This is his response to Cena’s request for Rock to be his tag partner. Rock is pretty calm here. He says they both represent a generation and Rock (with some gray in his beard) says no. Why would he join up with the Fruit Loop Troop when Cena has been going after Rock for years?

However, the people started talking about how Rock had to do this. With that, he listened to the people and in that sense, Cena’s wish is coming true and at Survivor Series they’ll be a team for one night only. Also though, Rock is doing this so that Cena can witness what is waiting for him at Wrestlemania. The match is on.

Cena vs. Miz later.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

We get some exclusive footage from Vengeance, which is just the ring collapsing. They showed this on Smackdown ads last week but it’s called “never before seen”. So they don’t even watch Raw anymore? Before the match starts here’s Johnny Ace who says that if Punk can beat Henry he gets the shot at Del Rio. They probably needed to tell the live crowd that.

Punk tries to fight down the monster but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk sends him into the corner and hits a slingshot clothesline and the Macho Elbow for two. Alberto and Ricardo come down with Alberto giving Ricardo some specific instructions. Ricardo comes in and attacks Henry who shoves him off. That isn’t a DQ so Ricardo comes in with a shoe and that’s enough for the DQ at 2:35. That fits in the story so I can’t complain here.

Punk beats on Ricardo a bit and throws him in for the Slam.

THE MUPPETS ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In two weeks, it’s the return of Rock to Raw. What is this, his third return special in 9 months?

HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Kermit and Miss Piggy and I can’t stop smiling. They come up from behind a stage and are kind of cheered. Piggy calls herself the original Diva and that brings out Vickie and Dolph. Swagger says it ain’t easy being a plate of frog legs and a ham sandwich. Kermit tries to play peacemaker and says they don’t want trouble from Swagger and his mother. Piggy and Vickie get into a shoving match and here’s Santino to a pop. He announces himself vs. Swagger later but Swagger closes Kermit’s mouth for him. Kermit faints from a lack of air. Santino says there will be no Dolph in Jack’s corner tonight because he has to face Ryder. Kermit and Piggy say WOO WOO WOO You Know It.

Here’s Kelly for no apparent reason in….some kind of costume. She has a cowboy had and a sword. Kelly kisses Kermit and Piggy is MAD. There’s a Divas costume battle royal next.

Battle Royal

They’re all in costumes and I’m not going to list off what they’re all in. Eve is Robin, the Bellas rule all as Mario and Luigi. AJ is a chick from Mortal Kombat. The match of course is junk as are most battle royals. Natalya is in there as….some kind of queen I guess. Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter and is out.

We’re down to Nattie, Kelly, the Bellas and Eve. Eve beats up both Bellas and Alicia is in this still too. There go the twins after a Stinkface from Kelly. Natalya tries a cover out of instinct which Beth got on Eve for earlier. There goes Alicia as well as Kelly, but Eve dumps Nattie for the win at 2:45. She’s #1 contender now.

The good chicks stand down the evil ones and the bad ones leave.

OFF TO MUPPET LABS!!! Bunsen Honeydew has a potion for Santino and sends Beaker after him. Beaky runs into Christian instead and the Canadian steals the potion, pouring it out. Sheamus pops up behind Beaker who now has his head stuck inside his shirt. Christian leaves and Sheamus fixes Beaker. Beaker talks to Sheamus…..who says he can’t make the family reunion, but tell Aunt Teresa he says high. Sheamus fixes Beaker’s hair to look like his.

Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

The bell rings after a break. Bourne vs. Rhodes starts us off but it’s off to Kofi about ten seconds in. Kofi hits kind of a spinning pendulum kick in the corner but gets taken down by Rhodes kicking the rope on a springboard. Off to Barrett (in dark gray instead of black) who hits a Bossman Slam and then a chinlock. Barrett actually throws some punches and it’s back to Kofi. Kofi is beaten on for a bit until it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He speeds things way up and counters Wasteland into a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi is sent to the floor. Bourne gets caught in Wasteland and we’re done at 5:22.

Rating: C-. I don’t get that at all. What is the point in having the champions lose clean again to a thrown together heel combination? The match wasn’t horrible, but why did they need to lose twice like that? I don’t understand at all and it’s book like this that makes the tag division and champions in general look weak.

Post match Christian comes out for some reason to help beat down Kofi but Sheamus makes the save and kicks Cody’s head off.

STATLER AND WALDORF ARE IN THE BALCONY!!!! Statler does the WHAT chant to annoy Waldorf.

Punk comes in to see Ace, who he makes fun of. Ace says Punk can have the title match, if he can convince Alberto to give him one.

Brodus Clay is here next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Show pounds away in the corner and Del Rio is in trouble early on. It’s domination for the first few minutes with Del Rio only managing a few kicks to the legs. Show misses a charge but hits a clothesline to keep his momentum. Alberto grabs a sleeper which shifts into a chinlock. Show breaks it up and we head to the floor where Show pounds away on him. The bald one misses a charge into the barricade and Del Rio misses an enziguri which is sold anyway.

Alberto hooks a front facelock back in the ring but Show throws him off with relative ease. Both guys are down now. For some reason, Del Rio wants to slug it out with Show as they’re on their knees. Somehow Show is knocked down for two but he easily shoves out of it. Shoe sends him to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the leg as this is needing to end soon. Speaking of that, Del Rio is sent to the floor and when he comes back in, he walks into the punch for the pin clean at 14:00. Another champion loses.

Rating: C-. The psychology was there for the most part but parts of this were way boring. Show is a guy you have to wrestle a certain way which I think Alberto did here for the most part. Not a bad match, but it needed to have about three and a half minutes cut out of it for the match to work.

Post match here’s Punk while Del Rio is still out cold. He pours water on Del Rio to take him up. Punk wants a clean answer and says before he gets that answer, Punk is going to put on the Anaconda Vice. There’s the hold and Del Rio agrees to the match. His mic goes out again but Punk shouts into the other one that HE SAID YES.

FOZZIE AND GONZO ARE IN THE BACK!!! They talk about how big the guys are and Gonzo says he could be a champion if he tried. Team Vickie comes up and pulls Gonzo’s arms through his shirt to tie him up, saying stay out of Ziggler’s match later. Gonzo is cool with it and Fozzie isn’t sure what to say.

Muppet Movie promo. Oh yes.

Animal is the guest time keeper for the next match. He’s as crazy looking as ever.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Swagger beats him down quickly and does pushups on Santino’s back. The fans want Ryder. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Santino rolls through it. Here’s Beaker with the energy drink to give to Santino. He winds up spitting it into Swagger’s face for the rollup pin at 2:37. Harmless fun.

Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Basic start with a missile dropkick missing and we head to the floor. Dolph is put down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control, working on the neck. A neckbreaker puts Ryder down and Dolph nips up. Ryder catches him in a slingshot and they slug it out. A flapjack puts Ziggler down and here’s the Broski Boot for two.

Ryder gets a double knee to Ziggler’s chest in the corner for the pin but Ziggler’s foot was on the rope. The bell rings but it gets waved off due to the feet. Zack chases him around the ring but Vickie interferes. A superkick puts Ryder down but he avoids the Zig Zag. The Rough Ryder pins Ziggler clean at 8:54.

Rating: C. Do they know if they want Ryder or Ryan to take the title off Ziggler yet? It’s really unclear at times but maybe that’s the point. You do have to give them credit for giving Ryder a push due to his crowd reactions lately. Not a horrible match, but they need to either have him win the title or move him on to something else.

We recap HHH/Nash from last week. It’s 10:47 and we have Miz vs. Cena and Cole’s Challenge to go. Doesn’t Nash have a contract already? Why would he need another one? HHH will be out five weeks and Nash has been re-signed.

Cole gets on the announce table and says Ross isn’t here tonight due to something regarding his bowels. Yeah yeah here we go again. Adult diaper jokes are made and the Challenge is moved to next week due to having too much on the show I guess.

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Cole but the laugh isn’t quite right.

Miss Piggy is rubbing Morrison’s abs and Morrison isn’t sure what to make of this. She hits on him but Morrison says he has a friend for her. It’s Horny, who now has a Piggy tattoo on his ankle. He kisses her but gets karate chopped for his efforts. Kermit comes up and Horny is in love. Cody comes in and bags Kermit. SOMEBODY SHOOT THAT MAN!!!

So yeah, no Cole vs. Ross tonight despite it being pushed harder than anything most of the week.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Miz a bit. This has easily been the weakest part of the Muppet part of the show. We go to a break before the bell….at 10:55. The bell rings after 11pm so this is going to be short. Totally basic match so far and we’re over five minutes into it. There’s just nothing to say because they’re flying through it for the sake of time. Miz hits some of his basic stuff until Cena fires back with a big running clothesline which gets two. Cena hits a superplex for two and we head to the floor. A guy in a Scream mask hits Cena and back in the ring….it means nothing as the STF ends this at 9:00.

Rating: C-. Hard to fault them here because they had to rush things and the match didn’t mean much at all. Cena is always good for a quick one though, even though this would have fit better at a house show more than on Raw. For a main event though, especially for a fun show like this, I can’t fault it much.

Post match the Scream guy comes in again and takes an AA. It’s Truth.

Overall Rating: B. Ok now that’s likely high because of the Muppet involvement but they’re my reviews so who cares? The Muppets fall squarely under the category of “if you don’t like this at least a tiny bit, you have no soul.” This was designed to be a fun show and that’s exactly what it was. Rock/Cena was officially set up, the traditional Survivor Series match was planned and that’s all that needed to happen. The Muppets were fun and that’s all there is to this show.

Results
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Eve Torres won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes b. Air Boom – Wasteland to Bourne
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio – WMD
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
John Cena b. The Miz – STF

 

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Ring of Honor – October 29, 2011 – Every Bowler’s Favorite Wrestling Show

Ring of Honor
Date: October 29, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

After last week we can actually see some angles starting to come together. This is I think the sixth episode for this show and it’s about time that it turned into a regular show. Their pacing is still pretty bad but from what I can find that is going to start changing on this show in that there are actually three matches for this episode. Let’s get to it.

Ok so it’s Saturday afternoon and I turn on Ring of Honor…..and it’s the same episode from last week. I mean Mondo vs. Perkins and the TV Title match tonight. The show re-airs on Sunday night so I’ll see if that’s the new one. Until then I’ll try to find a copy of it.

Ok so now it’s Sunday night and we have the actual show. Good to see.

We open with a recap of last week’s TV Title match which ended in a draw.

Kyle O’Reilly says he’s good. Roderick Strong says he isn’t worried about O’Reilly because he’s a punk kid.

Kyle O’Reilly vs. Roderick Strong

Truth Martini sits in on commentary. They start with technical stuff as Martini talks about Strong’s open challenge for Final Battle. They hit the mat and neither guy can take over that well. Both guys avoid strikes and the fans applaud the stalemate. These guys look a lot alike. Time for strikes because this is a Ring of Honor match. Northern lights suplex gets two for Kyle.

Strong goes to his bread and butter in the form of a backbreaker (half nelson variety here) for two. We take a break and come back with Kyle chopping Roderick but getting caught in a waistlock. Martini is off commentary now. More strikes from O’Reilly including a missile dropkick for two. Butterfly suplex is countered as is a backbreaker. O’Reilly hits rolling butterfly suplexes for two.

Roderick takes him off the top and pounds him down with ease. A modified sitout powerbomb gets two. Strong tries a few moves but Kyle counters off of there. Here are some more strikes for his troubles and a fireman’s carry into a spinebuster gets two. Strong Hold (Boston Crab) doesn’t work because Strong is a heel. A half nelson is countered into a crucifix for two. O’Reilly hooks on a guillotine choke but Rodderick rolls forward for two. A running kick (gee, another strike!) ends this for Strong at 12:28.

Rating: C. I get the appeal of it, but man those strikes get annoying fast. I mean, DO SOMETHING ELSE!!! Why is that such a difficult request to fulfill? I don’t like Richards’ style at all and Kyle is part of Team Richards or whatever it is. They try to do almost MMA matches out there and it doesn’t make for entertaining wrestling other than in the eyes of people that think doing a lot of strikes and such make for good matches.

Post match more House of Truth people and Richards come out with Richards being beaten down. Eddie Edwards comes out for the final save. I think I smell a tag match.

After the break, Cornette says that every member of the House of Truth is being fined $2500. Some fans want Kevin Steen back and let’s put the cameras on them. Cornette says Steen has too many mental problems so there won’t be any Steen back. If Steen doesn’t like that, sue him.

Either Lethal or Edwards will get the world title match at Final Battle. Gee, I wonder if it’ll be a guy that has nothing to do with Richards or his former partner that he beat for the belt in the first place. Both guys say they should get the shot.

We also hear about Proving Ground matches. The idea is that they’re non-title, but if you can beat them or get to a time limit draw, you get a title match within 90 days. Logical. A new tag team has such a match next week and they say nothing of note.

Alex Silva vs. Tomasso Ciampa

Steve Corino sits in on commentary. His first line: “My name is Steve Corino and I’m an evil http://onhealthy.net/product-category/cholesterol/ person.” He’s trying to reform his evil ways which could set up a sweet heel turn later on if need be. Silva is an OVW guy who likes to kick a lot. Oh ok so that makes sense now. Ciampa spits at a handshake attempt and hits a jumping kick to take over early on. They go to the floor and let the pain begin.

Silva takes a suplex on the floor and it’s off to a chinlock in the ring. They kick it out a bit as Corino offers to be a mentor to Ciampa. A neckbreaker puts Silva down and there’s a running knee to the face. Make that two knees. Ok three. I think you get the idea here. Silva’s face would seem to say…”THAT REALLY FREAKING HURT!” A powerbomb onto double knees (Project Ciampa) ends this at 4:00.

Rating: C. Total squash here but Ciampa is a pretty decent power guy. He needs to have an actual feud though which is one of the problems with the way they air ROH. With only an hour a week, having the multiple ten minute matches is becoming a big problem. I do however really like them fitting in a quick match like this to showcase someone else other than just two teams/acts a show.

All Night Express vs. Briscoe Brothers

Main event here and the winners get Haas/Benjamin at Final Battle. It’s a brawl on the floor to start as they don’t wait for the intros. I think that’s Jay vs. Kenny to start but it’s off to Titus quickly. The Express takes over to start with the quick tags. A big clothesline gets two for King. The Briscoes take over and pound away as we go to a break. Back with King in trouble but hitting an enziguri to put Mark down.

The fans are totally behind the Briscoes here which isn’t the idea but who cares about that? They know what wrestling is right? Anyway Jay runs in as we hear about how good Titus is in bed. Why does McGuinness know that? Next week we find out who gets the shot at Richards. Backslide gets two for King. There’s the hot tag to Titus and they beat on Jay for a bit, including a dropkick for two.

The fans still chant for the Briscoes as we’re really running out of time here. Jay counters King but can’t hit his finisher (Jay Driller). Mark takes out Rhett and a spinebuster puts down King with a spinebuster. Rhett and Jay go up but Jay is dropped into a snake eyes. Mark goes off on Titus and botches a springboard cutter to put Titus down.

King hits a springboard Blockbuster but walks into a DDT from Jay as all four are down. In a pretty innovative ending, the Express sets for their finisher (Blockbuster/powerbomb combo) but Jay knocks King down and clotheslines his own brother into a rana on Titus for the pin at 12:42. Think about that and it’ll make sense.

Rating: C+. The opening stuff of this (as in before the commercial) was really pedestrian but after that the match got a lot better. They threw out the tagging aspect and the hot tag didn’t have a lot of heat on it, mainly due to the Briscoes being one of those teams that is so over they can’t really be turned heel. Also the fact that they’re athletic and do impressive looking stuff makes it hard to boo them.

Overall Rating: C. Well, they’re getting there. I guess that’s the best way to put it. The show having a third match is a huge step in the right direction and they cut down the lengths of the two featured matches to make them fit into the time frame much better this week. Not a bad show but it’s nothing good either. At least we’re building to something for a change, which is a nice thing to see.

Results
Roderick Strong b. Kyle O’Reilly – Sick Kick
Tomasso Ciampa b. Alex Silva – Project Ciampa
Briscoe Brothers b. All Night Express – Hurricanrana to Titus

 

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