Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2011
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Rock’s birthday tonight and the Great One is on Raw.  We also have a new WWE Champion as Cena ended Miz’s title reign last night at Extreme Rules.  With just three weeks before Over the Limit they’re kind of in a hurry to get to the buildup for the next PPV.  Also tonight is a dual branded show so the Smackdown crew is here, including the new World Heavyweight Champion, Christian.  Also given the news with Osama bin Laden last night you can almost guarantee some patriotic themed stuff.  Let’s get to it.

The show opens with a video about 9/11 and how bin Laden is dead.  That just makes you smile a little bit.  We get a clip of the 9/13 show which is still pretty awesome.  Lillian Garcia is here to sing the National Anthem.  Still incredible.

Here’s your theme song as performed by a Canadian band.

Miz vs. Cena for the title tonight.

Screw that though: here’s Rock to open the show, naturally in the flag Brahma Bull shirt.  Talk about being on top of the world: his movie DESTROYED everyone else at the box office this week and the bin Laden capture, his birthday, and he’s currently penciled in for a world title shot at Wrestlemania.  Not bad.  He looks rather happy to be here and emotional at the same time.

After a very lengthy entrance it’s time to talk.  Finally he’s back home.  Before he gets started though, he has one thing to say: WE GOT HIM!  He thanks the troops and leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.  Rock talks about growing up in Miami and being in school here, including a picture of him with a mustache and small afro.  “Laugh at it all you want but that face devoured more pie than King Kong Bundy in a Polish bakery.”

Now it’s time for college, where he was a Hurricane for The U (his words).  He talks about how awesome the university was and back in the day, that place was the best football school on the planet.  Awesome academic school also.  Rock says story time is over and it’s time to party.  There’s an e-mail but Rock cuts Cole off, saying if you have a message for the Rock, say it to his face.

Various insults follow and Cole says he’s a man now.  He’s a winner and says he associates himself with winners.  Cole takes his jacket and shirt off, revealing a Boston Celtics jersey, which is the team the Miami Heat are playing in the playoffs.  The ironic part of this is Miami is up 1-0 so Garnett isn’t even a winner at the moment.  Cole says he’ll deliver the message to Dwayne’s face.

The GM wants an apology due to Rock embarrassing the GM at Mania or the party is shut down.  Cole wants one also for all of the embarrassments over the years.  Rock agrees, and apologizes, somehow managing to draw boos from this crowd.  Rock’s handshake is very slowly accepted but Rock isn’t pleased with the jersey.  Rock says Go Heat and it’s a Rock Bottom for Cole.  With the U hand signal here’s the People’s Elbow.

Rock’s music starts but he cuts it off.  He brings out someone named Pitbull who is apparently a rapper from Miami.  The fans seem to be into him.  He performs a song and the Miami Heat dancers come out to perform with him.

Morrison vs. Truth up next.

LeBron James and Dwayne Wade say happy birthday Rock.  Ok that’s kind of a big deal.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

JR has replaced Cole (ten weeks of a rotating commentary team in a row) on commentary.  Truth jumps Morrison during his entrance and sends him head first into the floor.  Morrison has allegedly injured his neck as referees carry him out.  He walks out but is going very slowly.  No match.  Truth jumps him again and gives him another Downward Spiral with Morrison’s head coming nowhere near the stage on the impact.

Jimmy Kimmel wishes Rock a happy birthday and we get an oily men in underwear reference. Also there’s candy in his pants.  You figure the joke out yourself.

Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse

Kelly looking GOOD tonight.  And never mind as Kharma comes out after about 10 seconds.  Kelly had taken Maryse down already and then just sat there for like 40 seconds as Kharma came down.  She deserves to die them.  Implant Buster to Maryse as Kharma just leaves Kelly alone.  No match again.

Miz yells at Riley for not being there last night.  He’s late tonight due to the crowd of people for Rock’s birthday.  Riley better be there tonight.

Paul Walker says happy birthday to the Rock and makes some bad Cena references.  He does call him Fruity Pebbles though.

Samuel L. Jackson says happy birthday and says Rock is from another planet.  Planet 51 perhaps?  He would run through a lion’s den with steak underwear on.  Wow indeed.

Rock is with the Divas and talks about singing happy birthday to Michelle Obama.  There’s a bit party going on in the back and various people make cameos.  Kozlov has a movie script for him and Santino comes up as….oh ok it’s Rock’s character from Fast 5.  Horny runs in as the Scorpion King.  He has a tooth ache apparently, so……oh sweet merciful goodness here’s Khali in a pink tooth fairy dress with wings and a tiara.  He says you can’t handle the tooth.  Ron Simmons pops up and there’s only one thing to say.  Cute comedy segment but that dress is going to haunt my nightmares.

Cena vs. Miz next.

Steve Carrell wishes Rock a forced (literally) happy birthday.  He says this is against his will and he doesn’t like Dwayne.  He was promised money and has received none.  This is against his will and he doesn’t endorse Johnson.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

We get big match intros for this as I can’t believe we’re over halfway done with the show.  Miz grabs a headlock to start and that gets him nowhere.  Cena fights back and gets a dropkick for one.  Almost all Cena here and he takes down Riley also.  Miz hammers away and the referee pulls him off, allowing Riley to get a shot in.  A shot into the steps gets two.

Corner clothesline hits by the former champ as the fans are split.  Double axe off the top hits for two as we take a break.  Back with Miz in control, getting a neckbreaker for two.  Cena comes back with his usual stuff and the Shuffle gets two.  Miz fights out of the AA and is holding his shoulder.  Big boot puts Cena down but a second attempt is countered into the STF.  Rope is grabbed though and Miz gets a low DDT for two.

There goes a turnbuckle pad as the referee is apparently blind.  Cena blocks the shot into it but can’t get the AA again.  Reality Check gets two.  This is better than it sounds as they’re not making Miz look like a joke.  The Finale is blocked and Miz is knocked into the referee.  STF goes on and Miz taps.  Riley comes in with the briefcase and it goes into Cena’s ribs.  Finale hits for a VERY close two.  Crowd is into this big time.

Miz walks into the AA and THAT gets two.  I would have bet money on that one.  Ok probably not but you get the idea.  Riley distracts again and a belt shot by Miz GETS THE PIN!  What just happened?  Miz has the title behind his back and the referee is confused.  The fall came at 12:15 if you’re curious.  The referee waves the fall off because he sees the belt.  CHEAP!  Not only that, Miz LOSES by DQ because there was a belt in the ring.  I hate how WWE changes rules every five minutes like this.  Drives me crazy.

Rating: B. Very good match here and far better than their Mania match.  The false finishes were great and it was the STUPID ending that held it back from being even better.  Miz looks completely equal to main event stars and that’s the best thing you could say about him.  Good match, terribly stupid ending.

Cena beats them both up post match.

Ellen Degeneres fails to come up with a good catchphrase but says happy birthday.

Tyler Perry wishes Rock happy birthday.  He does some Madea also.

We get a clip from after the PPV went off the air last night with Cena making the announcement that Osama had been killed.  He said compromised to a permanent end instead of killed/assassinated though.

Ricardo does the full entrance for Alberto but he’s in a suit (and a Rolls Royce).  He’s doing commentary for the following tag match.

Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Drew McIntyre

Swagger and McIntyre have a pose in the aisle which looked uh……how do I put this…….think of Billy and Chuck.  Swagger vs. Rey to start us off and it’s off to Kofi quickly.  Big boot takes Kofi down and we take a break.  Back with Swagger having a crossface chickenwing broken up as he tags in Drew.  Kofi rolls him up for two and McIntyre does the same.

Swagger takes over again as Alberto says Rey isn’t a real Mexican.  Off to Rey who cleans house and gets two on McIntyre.  Trouble in Paradise to McIntyre sets up the 619.  Alberto gets up and Rey glares at the villain, but instead just goes with a top rope splash (called a senton by JR) to end it at 8:40.

Rating: C. Not a great match but it’s ok at least and they let the new draft picks get on TV and have some stuff develop.  Alberto vs. Rey looks to be happening….again and I guess we’ll get Swagger vs. Kofi….again, but that one at least didn’t have a blowoff before so that helps a bit.  Just a tag match really though.

WWE had an anti-bullying rally and started an organization in Washington DC.  Yes, we get it: bullying is bad.

Ludacris wishes Rock happy birthday.

Dan Marino says the basics.

Rock congratulates the new World Heavyweight Champion, Christian.  That’s his cameo I guess.  Vickie comes in with Dolph and they have a present for him.  It’s a cake that’s about five feet tall.  He loves pie so they pull it back and there’s Mae Young who looks….well she looks like Mae Young.  They laugh and Rock says shut up.  Rock says Vickie can lose all the weight she wants and she’ll never be as beautiful as Mae Young.  Rock kisses Mae full on the lips and says he gets more pie in one night than Dolph gets in a lifetime.

Rock turns around and sees John Cena.  The Divas aren’t even paying attention.  Cena has a gift for Rock which he can only get from Cena.  It’s the WWE Championship, which he’s going to keep until Wrestlemania.  If Rock wants it, he has to go through Cena.  Rock says just bring it.  Cool moment as always with these two.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

George Lopez has some coupons for Rock for his birthday.  Ok then.

Mason Ryan vs. Kane

Kane gets shoved to the floor to start and a clothesline puts Kane down.  After Kane gets beaten down with slams and various other power stuff, Punk comes in for the DQ at 1:38.  Nexus runs out for the beatdown and Kane fights them off.  Ryan casually breaks a chokeslam which was impressive.  Show comes down and Ryan spears him down with ease.

Ryan leaves without Nexus who look at him and aren’t happy.

Rock’s party is up next.  It’s 11:00 and we’re going to a commercial.

Regis and Kelly say happy birthday.

Craig Ferguson says happy birthday.

Everyone in the front row has birthday hats on now.  Rock says he’s happy to be a son of Miami and a proud Hurricane.  Rock’s family is in the front row.  He promises that Wrestlemania will be the biggest of all time.  Here’s Vince of all people.  He talks about a day a long time ago when Rock said he could make WWE reach new levels and Rock has done it.

Vince wants to thank Rock for being the Rock and for coming home.  There’s a present for him and it’s a video about his career and life, set to I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money.  There are some awesome old school videos from him as a football player and with various people such as Andre the Giant and Muhammad Ali as a kid.

Back in the arena Maya is here to sing Happy Birthday to Rock.  The catchphrase finally takes us out as streamers and confetti fall.

Overall Rating: B-. And yes I know there wasn’t a ton of wrestling.  That wasn’t the point to this show yet I’m sure people will complain about it anyway.  This show was about a celebration for Rock and to draw fans in by having him there.  There’s nothing wrong with putting a show into coast mode which is what is usually done the first week after a PPV.  We had a good show here and some stuff was set up for Over the Limit.  Not bad here at all and definitely entertaining overall.

Results

John Morrison vs. R-Truth went to a no contest when R-Truth jumped Morrison

Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse went to a no contest when Kharma interfered

John Cena b. The Miz via DQ when Miz hit Cena with the WWE Championship

Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio b. Drew McIntyre/Jack Swagger – Mysterio pinned McIntyre after a top rope splash

Kane b. Mason Ryan via DQ when CM Punk interfered

Extreme Rules 2011
Date: May 1, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews

I see this show as being like TLC from last year: there isn’t much of a difference in the stories from here and Wrestlemania so here are a bunch of gimmicks tacked on and we hope that you watch our show and don’t notice that we haven’t put much thought into this past month.  The main event tonight (possibly) is Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the vacant world title.  If Christian doesn’t win here, I doubt he ever will.  Not really but it sounds good.  Let’s get to it.

Opening video is pretty much what you would expect: TONIGHT IS EXTREME!!!

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing here.  New Nexus is with Punk as they continue to try to validate their existences.  And never mind as an E-Mail throws them out.  Punk takes the pad off a buckle before he even gets in.  Hot start as they go right at it.  We go to the floor quickly with Punk getting introduced to the barricade.  They hit it off and are taking in a movie next Tuesday.

They go back into the ring as they’re keeping up that fast pace.  The problem of course is that in last man standings, there’s no real point to buying into any counts until after at least 8 minutes.  Punk grabs a kendo stick and the “brutal” part of the match starts.  Multiple shots by Punk (Straightedge anyone?) gets about seven and now it’s payback time.  Finisher attempts are exchanged and Orton sends Punk into a chair wedged in between the ropes to the floor for about 6.

Punk gets a solid kick to the head for about 8.  As always in these matches, a lot of time passes with little happening due to the counting and setting up for the counting.  Orton sends him into the barricade for six and we head back to the ring.  GTS actually hits and Orton gets up at 9, only to fall back down a second later.  That counts as being up though as it should.  Punk throws in a chair and a Russian leg sweep onto it gets about 8.

To their feet and Punk tries another leg sweep.  Orton pulls an RKO out of nowhere and both guys are down.  Orton gets up as does Punk but he stumbles to the floor just after he gets up.  Punk fights off the elevated DDT and wraps a chair around Orton’s throat to send it into the post.  THAT gets 9 and Punk is ticked off.  They go to the table and Punk tries the GTS on it….which wouldn’t add anything to the move but whatever.  There’s the counter into an RKO onto the (non-breaking in this case) table and Punk stumbles to his feet somehow at 9.  I would have bet on that being the ending.

Orton sets for a Punt but gets caught in a GTS into the steps.  When I say the GTS I mean he gets dropped face first onto the steps which is really about all you can do with that move.  Up at nine and Punk has a kendo stick.  Punk sends Orton in and goes up top for some reason, only to have Orton intercept the stick and WEAR PUNK OUT with it as he’s hanging from the top.  SUPER RKO from the top ends this with Orton barely beating the count.

Rating: B. I rather liked this one, mainly because they gave it a lot more time than I expected them to.  I would have thought the ending was going to happen multiple times in there but they let it keep going.  I think it was pretty clear Orton was going to win, but they had a lot of very close calls in there and it worked rather well.  Much better than I expected actually.

Lawler heads to the back to get read and we recap the Draft.

Morrison is warming up.

Sheamus is ticked off that Teddy has added an extra match with him defending against Kofi in a tables match.  He’s the US Champion and is defending against someone not from the US.  He demands to see the birth certificate.  This is FAR less stupid now that that whole issue is over.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston

Booker continues to imply Kofi should turn heel as we hit the floor early.  First table is brought out by the pale one and set up on the floor.  Back to the ring and Sheamus gets caught on the apron, only to hit a slingshot shoulder block to take Kofi down.  Table #2 comes in and lands on top of Kofi.  We hear about how Sheamus beat Cena in one of these to win the title which still blows my mind.

Table gets set up in the corner but Kofi fights out of it.  Sheamus moves to avoid Kofi’s dive but Kofi is like screw it and does the splits in midair to land on the ropes with the table between his legs.  Big boot sends Kofi flying over the table on the floor as Sheamus takes over again.  The corner table is set up in front of the corner and Sheamus hammers away.  Sheamus can’t suplex him onto a table on the floor and gets caught by Trouble in Paradise but it doesn’t put him through the table.  The Boom Drop as Sheamus turns around does however to give Kofi the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and considering it was just a way to get a midcard title on Raw this was fine.  Kofi of course is his usually solid self and Sheamus loses the title without getting pinned.  This was perfectly fine and the ending plus some cool spots by Kofi were enough to push it over the top.

Truth complains about Morrison because that’s what he does anymore.  He can’t spell conspiracy.  The one thing he can’t stand is a thief which is what Morrison is.  Back in the 80s this would have been a squash over a jobber and the point is just to establish that Truth is here for when he likely runs in later.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps.  Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap.  Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday.  Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old.  Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him.  Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face.  There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes.  Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole.  Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold.  Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger!  Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole.  Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit.  Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow.  He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it.  Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more.  Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE!  This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it?  Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead.  Match sucked too.

Over the Limit is in three weeks.  Well of course it is.

Cena says he hasn’t been champion since June and will be champion again tonight.  Short interview here.

We recap Rey vs. Cody.  Not much to say here other than it’s been awesome from Cody and Rey messed up Cody, turning him into someone that thinks he’s grotesque despite looking the same as he always has.  That’s some solid psychological stuff there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Falls count anywhere.  People hand out the bags which is a nice touch.  Cody has promised to send Rey to the hospital on his way to Raw.  Cody charges at Rey to start us off but Rey speeds thigns up to send him to the floor.  They go up the ramp and Rey gets a seated senton off the stage for two.  Out into the crowd as Rey kicks away at the head.  NOT IN THE FACE!!!

Up towards the back of the arena with Cody kind of in control now.  Into the back as this is more or less an old school hardcore match.  Cody mangaes the Beautiful Disaster off a concession stand window for two.  That looked awesome.  Back to the ring as this has been a very stiff looking match.  Rey tries his sitout bulldog but Cody reverses with a wheelbarrow drop onto the steps for two.

Cody picks Rey up like a 24 pack and throws him into the ring.  Rey fights back and sets for the 619, intentionally exposing his knee brace.  Cody counters and hits an Alabama Slam for two.  Up we go but Rey FIRES GREEN MIST at Cody to send him flying.  619 out of nowhere and the springboard splash finishes completely clean.

Rating: B. Another good match here, mainly due to them beating the tar out of each other.  This feud was solid and at least Cody got the win at Mania which looks better on his resume and will be what is remembered.  Good stuff overall here and the mist was a nice touch despite messing up the racial stereotypes again.

Layla apologizes to the Divas for being mean to them over the years.  They say they don’t like her but they like Michelle less.

Cole is back on commentary.  Oh joy.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE.  Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance.  Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl.  A shot into the table gets two for Michelle.  Big boot misses and here comes Layla.  Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over.  DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in.  Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two.  Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately.  Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again.  The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time.  Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine.  Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine.  Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts.  Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease.  All of the Divas are freaked out.  Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Alberto gives Ricardo instructions on how to announce the ending.

We recap Edge’s retirement and the title being vacant.  This gets the 3 Doors Down video again which makes me smile.  Edge was supposed to defend in a ladder match but had to retire due to a neck injury so Christian took his place by winning a battle royal.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ladder match here.  Well we’re in Christian’s match with Edge’s momentum behind him in his (kind of) hometown.  If he doesn’t win here, he’s never going to have a better chance.  Brawl to start and Christian goes for the ladder only for the king of the golden banana hammock to take over.  Baseball slide into the ladder into Del Rio as Christian takes control right back.

First ladder is brought in and Del Rio gets in a shot to take over.  Christian is knocked to the floor as Del Rio gets the big ladder set up between the table and the ring like a platform.  Suplex is blocked but Christian is kicked into the steps hip first.  The Canadian gets knocked off the top onto a ladder and then jumps onto Del Rio to keep the advantage for the most part.

Up goes Christian but we’re only about 8 minutes into this so that’s not the ending.  They slug it out but the Killswitch is avoided.  Del Rio is sent into the ladder arm first.  Big ladder goes up in the middle of the ring but Del Rio chucks a stepladder at Christian for the save.  Codebreaker to the arm with Del Rio on the small ladder and Christian coming off the big ladder which looked awesome.

Del Rio works on the arm a bit as Cole declares Christian done.  The small ladder (I smell an alliance with Horny) is used again but Del Rio goes crashing into the big ladder to put him down.  Christian goes up again, only to get caught by Alberto in a kind of powerbomb move which is countered by a rana by Christian.  They fight over a chance to put the other through the ladder platform but Christian gets a suplex onto a ladder to put Del Rio down.

Alberto goes up, only to be stopped but the arm goes out on Christian as Alberto keeps control.  Chair slipped in by Ricardo which goes nowhere.  Back in the ring Christian busts out a SPEAR to put Del Rio down.  I guess he isn’t a master of it though as Del Rio makes the save by pulling Christian through the rungs of the ladder.  Christian slips free, sending Alberto into the corner where the stepladder gets kicked into his face again.

Christian gets laid out on the platform ladder and Del Rio goes up for an elbow/legdrop/splash/whatever.  Christian moves though and the ladder DOESN”T BREAK.  FREAKING OW MAN!  There goes the Canadian but Brodus runs in to move the ladder and pull him down.  Stepladder shot puts Clay down as Del Rio comes back in to take over.  Cross armbreaker with the arm in the ladder makes Christian tap which means nothing.

Christian is busted open so we bust out the towel.  Alberto sets up the ladder and has to take his time as first aid is administered, making this look REALLY FREAKING STUPID.  He goes up but a horn honks and Edge is in a car.  Brodus is busted BAD.  The distraction lets Christian shove Alberto onto Clay and Christian is champion.  One important thing here: Edge stands off to the side for a good while to let Christian celebrate on his own.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and this is the right move.  I’m skeptical about Christian as champion still, but this was 100% the right call given the circumstances.  He gets the chance to run with things here, despite being 37 now.  It’s a gamble, but it’s not a huge walk the plank one so I don’t have many complaints here.  Rather good match too but nothing we haven’t seen before for the most part.

Edge celebrates with Christian but DOESN’T STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT.

Package on Orton’s movie at a film festival.  I think they’ve figured out the idea here: let the actors do the acting and let the WWE guys have supporting roles.  It’ll do a lot better.

Riley gives Miz a pep talk as the fans can be heard heckling Del Rio.

Tag Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson

Lumberjack match here which is really needed as it’s 10:15 and we only had the Raw title match left.  Show vs. Barrett to start us off as Show dominates.  Kane comes in with his low dropkick for two.  Everything breaks down quickly as Show beats up various jobber lumberjacks as Jackson runs over Kane to take over.  Double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a bit of a mess.  It’s a bonus match though so you really can’t complain that much.

Off to Show who cleans a few rooms but gets sent to the floor by Jackson.  Jobbers pound on him which means they’ll be his dinner later.  DH Smith is actually here.  Wow indeed.  They finally get Show back in and Jackson slams him, but Barrett wants the glory.  The glaring between the foreigners allows Show to grab a chokeslam to retain over Barrett.  Just a quick match here.

Rating: D+. Again, it’s a bonus match so you really can’t complain much here.  They filled in the card and pushed the whole Corre breaking down thing.  This was fine for what it was as they weren’t expected to do anything of note.  I’m done will filling in space here but with this sentence I get four lines out of it so I’m happy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

In a cage and it’s pin, submission or escape.  Miz tries to run but the not brothers John save him.  Midnight Express flapjack puts the champ down as we’re firmly into the three way formula already.  Everyone beats on everyone as the former tag champions……and by that I mean Miz and Morrison…..go up but Cena makes the save.  Miz and Cena fight on the top rope for a bit and down goes Cena.

Morrison tries to make a quick escape as Miz tries a pin but the champion saves.  They sit on top of the cage and slug it out as Booker says they’re 20 or 30 feet in the air.  I give up.  Cena pops up and it’s a double suplex to Miz but they kind of botch it into almost a double brainbuster.  That looked SICK.  Back to the formula again and down goes Morrison.

Cena locks on the STF but Miz tries to escape.  Cena lets go for some reason and no one escapes.  Morrison gets thrown into the cage, only to jump up the wall and almost escape.  He’s a wildcard in this and changes the whole thing, as wildcards are designed to do.  With the Johns on top, Miz tries to go out the door.  Morrison kicks the door onto his head but gets crotched on said door.

Miz wisely pulls Morrison back into the cage because Morrison was about to just fall onto the floor.  Cena gets two on Morrison.  BIG DDT on Cena by Miz gets two.  Miz rams Cena into the cage and Morrison almost escapes, only to be caught again by Miz.  They slug it out on top of the cage again and Miz can’t quite get down.  Miz goes down so Morrison launches a Starship Pain off the cage to take out both guys in a cool spot.

Morrison almost gets out but of course here’s Truth to slam the door on Morrison’s head.  Truth comes into the cage and destroys Morrison.  Axe kick to Cena as Booker is confused.  Jumping downward spiral (NAME THAT MOVE ALREADY!) to Morrison as Truth climbs the cage.  He hasn’t touched Miz.  Truth climbs out of the cage and has the big freaky eyes going on.

Everyone is down now and Miz is the first one up.  He goes to escape, for some reason not going through the door, only to be caught by Cena.  They slug it out with the boo/yay which is required for Cena matches anymore.  Skull Crushing Finale is blocked into a big old FU off the top (stealing moves from Orton Cena?  Really) and Cena is champion again.

Rating: B-. Well we all knew the Truth interference was coming and that Morrison wasn’t walking out with the title which is fine.  The ending sets up a rematch and Truth vs. Morrison which is fine on both counts.  This was a pretty solid main event to a pretty solid show which is always a good sign.  They worked the formula and they worked it well here, so no complaints for the most part.

Overall Rating: A-. Dude this show was pretty awesome.  There are good matches throughout, some history thrown in there and two bonus matches, one of which was pretty good.  This is a lot like TLC: it wasn’t meant to be an epic show but rather fun instead and that’s just what they did here.  Good stuff throughout and not boring at all with everyone working hard.  That’s what you want here and it paid off.  Very good show and rather fun overall.

Results

Randy Orton b. CM Punk when Punk couldn’t answer the ten count

Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Boom Drop through a table

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger b. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler – Cole pinned Ross with a rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Springboard splash

Layla b. Michelle McCool – Crucifix Pin

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Christian pulled down the championship

Big Show/Kane b. Ezekiel Jackson/Wade Barrett – Big Show pinned Barrett after a chokeslam

John Cena b. John Morrison and The Miz – Cena pinned Miz after an Attitude Adjustment off the top

Smackdown
Date: April 29, 2011
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the final night with the Smackdown roster as it had been for months.  It’s also the final night before Extreme Rules where we’re guaranteed a new World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Christian or Del Rio.  Orton is here tonight I’m assuming and it’s Rey’s last night here.  This should be good as there will be a lot of farewell matches.  Let’s get to it.

Naturally we open up with a recap of the Draft and Cena going from Friday to Monday, which really isn’t as big a deal as it’s being made out to be.  Of course Orton would wind up being the superstar brought in to replace Edge.  Also Smackdown lost Del Rio and Mysterio so they didn’t do perfectly.  Still though, Smackdown won on Monday.  In the supplemental….that’s up for debate I guess.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine would be IWC idiots that still say WWE is dying when it got 1 million buys for Wrestlemania which everyone said was impossible.  WWE is dying my foot.

The World Heavyweight Championship is above the ring again.

Kane/Show vs. Corre for the titles and Henry vs. Mysterio tonight.

Here’s Orton in the Smackdown shirt to open the show.  He introduces himself to the crowd, because no one here has ever watched Raw right?  Orton talks about how he’s looking forward to the challenges that await him but this Sunday he has some unfinished business.  It’s good that they’re not messing with the PPV matches at least.  Orton gets interrupted by….Drew McIntyre?

Drew says he’s moving up to Raw and the WWE Universe has to wait a bit longer on Orton vs. McIntyre.  Clearly a match the world is waiting for.  Drew tries to jump him with the Futureshock but walks into an RKO.  Orton tries to keep talking and here’s Alex Riley with generic rock theme #857, not to be confused with generic rock theme #856.  He doesn’t even get a word out before he gets taken down by an RKO.

He tries to talk again and this time it’s Del Rio to interrupt him.  Alberto is smart enough to talk on his way to the ring.  Orton apparently knows how to make a first impression but Alberto knows how to make a lasting one.  The three guys in Alberto’s crew surround Orton until Christian runs out to even the odds a bit.  Teddy comes out to make the tag team main event.  Clay gets knocked down and Orton and Christian stand tall.

Kofi is on his way to the ring for a match but Sheamus jumps him.  Apparently this is the match.  I can’t wait for Monday when those stupid shirts go away.  Total assault before the match starts (I think) with Kofi getting sent into the railing and steps.  That’s one thing I like about Sheamus: he isn’t a coward.  He’ll go straight at you and can be a monster fighter when he wants to be.

Into the ring now as I guess the match has officially started when Sheamus jumped him.  We’ll go with that for lack of anything official.  Into the ring and there’s the Brogue Kick and Sheamus holds up the belt and leaves.  I’m assuming this wasn’t an official match.  I’d bet on a match between them at the PPV to put a midcard title on Raw.

Here’s Cole to introduce Jack Swagger.  Cole implies JR is a pig.

Jack Swagger vs. Sin Cara

Cara NAILS the entrance.  I can’t believe I’ve read people complaining about how stupid the trampoline is.  Yes, of course he uses one.  It looks awesome too but hey, I guess since they think it’s stupid, it must be stupid.  Who cares that it looks cool or pops the crowd right?  Booker says he’s noticed Sin Cara can fly.  You can’t buy analysis like this people!!!

Swagger takes him to the mat easily and hammers away.  What looks like a powerslam is reversed and Cara fires off some kicks and an INSANE armdrag off the top.  The lighting is kind of a blue haze here.  It’s almost like Kane’s back in the day although not red and nowhere near as dark.  Cara is sent into the corner chest first but the Vader Bomb is blocked with knees.

More kicks follow and a Tajiri handspring elbow.  Headscissors puts Swagger down but Cara walks into a big boot after a missed springboard move.  Cole slips Swagger a leather belt and Cara grabs a victory roll to get the pin at 3:17.  I’m hoping that’s a sign of how they have tension between Swagger and Cole for the tag match Sunday.

Rating: C+. This was easily Cara’s best match so far in the company.  He kept things a bit slower paced and the result was far fewer botches, far fewer times where he looked shaky and a more interesting match.  He had enough high spots to pop the crowd too and the whole thing worked.  Fun stuff.

Swagger goes after him again post match but is sent to the floor where Cara hits a big plancha to take Jack down.

Kharma ad.  That face is terrifying.

Tag Titles: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Big Show/Kane

I still don’t get the point in having Show go to Raw when the champions can be on both shows.  Show vs. Slater to start us off.  The punch is now known as the WMD.  Slater and Gabriel use some nice teamwork and a missile dropkick to put Show down.  That gets one as Show launches Gabriel to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Slater getting two on Show.  Gabriel pops in and manages to counter the chokeslam with a DDT for two as well.  Sleeper/choke by Gabriel gets him nowhere on Show of course.  A sideslam allows the hot tag to the Big Fried Freak (who isn’t as fried as you would expect).  Another sideslam, this one from Kane, gets two.  Top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam as the crowd is DEAD.  Gabriel saves for a bit but the double chokeslam ends them as Kane pins Slater at 3:40 shown of 7:10 total.

Rating: D+. Just a step above a squash here as there was nothing going on at all.  Corre needs to advance on to splitting or whatever else they’re going to do.  Not much going on here but at least it’s done now.  I was thinking they would shift the belts back now but apparently the giants get to keep them for awhile.  Works for me.

Khali and Singh say good luck on Raw to Rey.  An Indian man comes up whose name is apparently Jinder Mahal and he’s from FCW.  They treat him like a big deal and that’s about it.

Here’s Rey to say goodbye to Smackdown.  He thanks the fans for everything, including their world title win last week.  The journey isn’t done yet as this Sunday they have a match with Cody Rhodes.  Everyone will be part of the 619.  Is he going to buy them all houses in San Diego?

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

Mark is freshly heel for no apparent reason other than we needed a midcard heel monster on Fridays.  Henry says Rey’s farewell is his debut which is unfortunate.  Rey goes straight at him as Cole makes fun of Rey’s nicknames.  Henry sends him to the floor and Rey stalls for a bit.  Back in and Rey tries to speed things up.  This goes about as well as Goldberg as a heel in WCW as Henry steps on him a lot.

Henry throws him to the floor as this is a very slow moving match.  Rey goes into the steps but moves to send Henry knee first into them as we thankfully take a break.  Back with them in the ring and Rey hitting a seated dropkick.  This is rather boring to say the least.  Henry knocks him off the top and splashes him in the corner.  About ¾ of this match has been Henry running into Rey in some form or another.

We continue to go so slowly that I think I have horrible lag.  Henry tries a drop onto the chest but Rey manages to move.  I’m not sure what caused Rey to move but it was either Mark screaming or standing there for ten seconds.  Little from column A, little from column B I guess.  Rey fires back and hits the 619.  He sets for the seated senton but Cody runs in for the DQ at 5:30 shown of 9:00.

Rating: D. This was terribly boring.  I mean they had nearly ten minutes and it felt like about 40.  Henry isn’t interesting in the slightest as he fights like a 1980s monster heel.  That sounds good in theory, but when did Bundy or Gang EVER go more than 5 minutes without it sucking?  The answer would be when Hogan was there and Rey is no Hogan as far as fighting monsters.  At least it’s over.

Cody beats Rey up in the crowd for a bit and throws him in to Henry for the World’s Strongest Slam.  Rey gets the paper bag treatment also.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

Layla can make a Smackdown t-shirt look good.  That’s impressive.  They come out to the same music which is pretty rare.  Doesn’t mean anything but it’s rare.  Layla goes straight at her and Michelle shoves her off with ease.  Total catfight and they brawl to the floor.  The fight continues and it’s a double countout at 57 seconds.  Intense if nothing else.

Layla grabs the mic and challenges Michelle to a no DQ and no countout (street fight) match at Extreme Rules.  Michelle says Layla is nothing without her so it’s on.  Michelle insists on loser leaves (overdubbed) WWE.

Video on the European tour.  Hard to argue with those as apparently they’re almost pure profit.  Edge was there too.

Christian says he hears Alberto talking about destiny all the time.  He talks about Alberto injuring him and how it gave him time to reflect.  Christian talks about how this was Edge’s spot but now he’s in it.  He wants to know if this is his time or if he got lucky.  It’s his destiny and he’s going to not only touch the title Sunday but earn the right to keep it.  Good promo.

We run down the card for Sunday.

Brodus Clay/Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian/Randy Orton

Entrances take forever of course.  Can’t tell if it’s a BMW or a Ferrari tonight.  Ferrari apparently which looks awesome.  Christian vs. Del Rio to start us off.  And never mind as here’s Brodus about 4 seconds in.  Standard monster vs. regular sized guy at the moment as we talk about Christian needing a win to validate his career which is a kind of interesting debate.

Off to Alberto as we talk about what his moving to Raw means for Clay.  Clay could be a solid midcard monster if pushed right.  Let the psychology begin as Alberto works on the arm of Christian.  Off to Orton who stares a lot.  Knee drop gets two but Del Rio gets a Codebreaker to the arm and it’s off to Clay as we take a break.  Back with more tagging by the heels and Alberto throwing on a chinlock.

Christian comes in as does Clay.  The Canadian speeds things up and takes the fight to Clay, but Del Rio cheats (that villain!) and Clay gets a t-bone suplex for two.  More standard beating by both heels kills some time.  Christian sends Del Rio to the floor but can’t make the tag.  Brodus works on the back and brings in Alberto for a backsplash off the top for two.  Christian takes him down eventually and it’s hot tag to Orton.  Orton fires off his standard moveset on Del Rio as I’m begging ANYTHING interesting to happen.  RKO doesn’t hit Del Rio but Clay walks into it for the pin at 11:42 shown of 15:12.

Rating: D+. WOW this was boring.  From a wrestling standpoint it was fine but there was nothing to this at all that was going to make this interesting.  It was very paint by numbers for a main event tag match.  This felt like something you would see at a house show which really isn’t what I wanted to see here.  Not a terrible match but really boring overall for the most part.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t that impressed with this show.  They tried but I really wasn’t all that pleased.  The stuff they did was all about the new people on Smackdown and the old guys leaving which is ok but that doesn’t mean it’s an interesting match.  They kind of built to Extreme Rules but the new World Heavyweight Champion candidates were totally on the back burner tonight to Orton, which really doesn’t make me feel strong about the next title reign.  Weak show.

Results

Sin Cara b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

Big Show/Kane b. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater – Chokeslam to Slater

Rey Mysterio b. Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered

Layla vs. Michelle McCool went to a double countout

Randy Orton/Christian b. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay

This isn’t officially confirmed yet but according to Variety it did.  I’m rather surprised they got it that high up but definitely a major victory for Vince and WWE here.

Thoughts?

Impact
Date: April 28, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Queen Clouseau

Impact has had two straight decent if not good shows in a row.  After last Monday’s rather weak draft show, maybe is their chance to have a couple straight weeks in a row better than Raw.  I’d expect more of the same kind of build to Sacrifice as we saw last week, which resulted in some decent stuff.  That being said, let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Angle vs. Jarretts thing last week and Angle talking about his mistress that will hurt Karen for him.  Also we get a clip of the Sting vs. Hogan stuff from last week with the Network.

The Jarretts come out with all the women in the ring, including some women from catering.  This is to find out who the mistress is.  Karen has an umbrella to avoids falling feces.  Karen starts with an older lady from catering.  She says the catering woman is too nice to Kurt by trying to get to him through his stomach.  The girl says really?  She has pot roast to make.  Maybe Jeff can take some tips from Jeff on how to flip burgers.  Karen says Taco Tuesday sucks which ticks off Sarita and Rosita in a funny bit.

The catering lady leaves so Karen goes after Jolene the seamstress.  Mickie isn’t here by the way.  Jolene says it’s her job to run her hands over Kurt to find out his measurements.  Karen throws her out too and moves on to Tessmacher.  She points out that Tessmacher got to the building at the same time as Angle.  “You mean at our jobs?”  Karen asks about being at the gym with Kurt.  “You mean like with the other 25 wrestlers?”  These are the same questions the cops asked Goldberg when he was accused of stalking Liz on the night of the Fingerpoke of Doom.

Time for some racial stereotype jokes for Sarita and Rosita who she calls hot and spicy and rice and beans.  Sarita curses in Spanish and says they’re MEXICAN America, not Americans.  They leave also as it’s off to Madison and Tara.  The two of them and Angle are all former TNA champions remember.  Madison says Tara would lay down for Kurt because she’s a dirty sl**.  Tara spits on Madison and Madison implies Tara would try to sleep with Jeff.

That leaves Velvet as Winter and Angelina aren’t here either.  Karen says that Velvet is at the end of her rope so she’s trying to get on Kurt’s.  Karen implies Velvet is a lacking in a few morals and Kurt has to save Karen from a big slap.  Velvet slaps Kurt and the catfight is on.  Here come Winter and Angelina as Angelina beats up Velvet as the Jarretts leave.  Winter tells So Cal Val to ring the bell as this is a match apparently.

Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky

Angelina is controlling early as we get a referee and take a break.  Back with Angelina choking away in the corner.  She’s still in the trance as she dominates.  This is a very slow paced match as Angelina has to show no emotion at all which is a decent character twist but it causes some boring matches.

Off to a chinlock for a bit which goes nowhere.  Velvet hammers away but there’s no response from Angelina.  Love chokes away and pounds on Velvet as this keeps starting and stopping.  Velvet fires back with some facecrushers to the knee which the camera is able to cut away from in time to keep from seeing them miss the knee by a foot.  Winter interferes though, allowing the Botox Injection (Bicycle Kick) to set up a choke to end this at 10:20.

Rating: D-. This was one of the worst female matches I’ve seen in a very long time.  It went WAY too long and the moves were missing left and right.  Angelina as a zombie is a cool character twist but at the same time they need something a bit different than the whole stand around, throw a punch every ten seconds and use Winter’s finisher to end this.  Wasn’t impressed at all.

Anderson gets here 26 minutes into the show in a big truck.  He wants his title shot.

Back with Matt Morgan looking for Steiner.  Has he been walking around ranting for half an hour?

Anarquia vs. Chris Sabin

Christy Hemme is announcer tonight who is definitely an upgrade from Jeremy Borash visually.  Anarquia says that next week we’re celebrating Cinco de Mayo.  Sabin takes over quickly to start and gets something resembling a springboard double axe but he injures his knee on it.  The replay shows that the knee bent in a way it wasn’t supposed to at all.  A small package ends this at 1:21.  Mexican America sets for the beatdown but ALEX SHELLEY returns for the save.  If that’s a fake knee injury I’m rather impressed as the replay looked like his knee legit bent the wrong way.

Steiner is playing with a kids golf toy and says he jumped Morgan because he was there.  Lots of censored words here as Steiner says he’d shoot himself if he had Morgan’s DNA.  If Morgan is looking for him he’s not a hard man to find.

Back with Morgan finding Steiner who runs off.  Morgan chases after him and Steiner jumps him and takes over in the war of alliteration.  Morgan gets choked with a stick of some sort and lots more words are censored.  Morgan fights back and chokes him with his boot.  This is your weekly big brawl backstage.  Steiner says he’s sorry but is thrown into a well placed refrigerator.

Sting goes up to Anerson’s truck in the back and pulls out the bat.  Faster than you can say “Mr. Borden you have the right to remain silent”, Sting becomes a vandal on national TV.  The fans cheer for this.  Sting starts to leave but climbs up on top of the truck and hammers away some more.  The lesson to be learned here: use public transportation.

Daniels vs. Gunner for the TV Title next.

TV Title: Gunner vs. Daniels

Gunner is the ace in the hole for Immortal apparently.  Daniels uses his riveting style of strikes to take over but Gunner fires back with basic heel power offense.  Crucifix gets two for Daniels as he strikes even more.  Gordbuster (with Daniels landing on his head) gets two.  Daniels shouts GIVE ME YOUR BEST and comes back with, you guessed it, more strikes.  A running STO takes Gunner down as does a cross arm front slam off the top.  Release Rock Bottom by Daniels sets up the BME but Gunner moves.  Daniels goes face first into the post and an F5 gives Gunner the clean pin at 6:05.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and you can’t say they’re not pushing someone here.  Gunner is something to keep an eye on as he looks good and isn’t bad in the ring.  Daniels is apparently a midcard jobber already which doesn’t really shock me at all as that tends to be where he winds up.  Nothing special here at all.

Here’s Sting who talks about how he’s trying to get rid of Hogan and Bischoff but Anderson won’t leave him alone.  He calls out Anderson who has a bat in hand.  Anderson asks point blank if Sting bashed out all the windows in his truck.  Sting says he didn’t do it.  Anderson: did you do it?  Sting: No.  Anderson: did you do it?  Sting: Yes.  Anderson pulls the bat back and says he’ll get it replaced because he’s rich.

Anderson promises to one-up Sting every time with these tricks.  Since Sting has the power to pick his own opponents, Sting can make this end by picking Anderson for his title shot.  Anderson wants it tonight but here’s RVD to cut him off.  Van Dam says he’s glad Sting is being straight up with him and do whatever you have to do to get rid of Anderson.  Sting says ok let’s do it tonight.

Here’s Hogan who says he loves to see Sting handing out title shots.  If Sting wants a fight then he’ll get it.  Hogan makes it a three way, adding in Bully Ray.  Oh dear.  Sting looks like he’d dead.

Joe talks about Crimson and liking his style with sticking Janice in the back of Abyss.  Joe says the winning streaks they had aren’t the same because Crimson hasn’t been tested.

Crimson vs. Samoa Joe

We hear about Joe being undefeated for 18 months which was eventually broken by Angle.  Crimson takes over to start and locks on a Cravate.  Joe fires back and his strikes, including an enziguri for two.  Nice overhead suplex by Crimson and a neckbreaker get two.  Another enziguri misses for Joe so Crimson tries a suplex.  The key word being try as Joe counters with the power of fat.

They slug it out and Crimson runs into the release Rock Bottom.  We hit the floor and Abyss runs in for the DQ, drilling Crimson at 2:58.  Match was good while it lasted.  Joe looks at Abyss and walks off.  The match is called a no contest, despite Crimson getting jumped.  Shouldn’t that be a DQ win for Crimson?  Black Hole Slam leaves Crimson laying.

Anderson says he doesn’t want a three way but he’ll take it anyway if it’s all he can get.  More censored words here as I guess TNA isn’t PG.

Angle says that Karen isn’t even close with her guesses.  The mistress might be here next week.  It’s no one anyone knows apparently.

Here’s Mickie who says her goal is to be the best women’s wrestler ever.  She dedicates the win to the fans and says it’s because of the fans that the roster can come out here and live their dreams.  Short and to the point.

Ray is talking to Abyss and says Ray being champion would tick off the wrestling world.  He’d trade in his 23 tag titles for one reign with it.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Sting vs. Bully Ray

Borash does the intro here.  We get big match intros to kill some time.  Sting goes after Anderson to start as Ray chills in the corner.  The announcers play up Sting defending the title a lot recently so he might be a bit tired here.  Ray jumps in and gets a side slam for two on Sting.  We hit the standard three way formula as one guy dominates and gets a pin attempt on another while the third guy saves, then another guy takes over.  Ray pulls Anderson off the top as we take a break.

Back and all three guys are in the same place meaning we missed nothing during the break.  Anderson and Ray slug it out with Anderson going down via an elbow.  Sting finally gets up and takes down both guys.  Stinger Splash to Anderson and Sting avoids a charging Ray.  Down goes the referee as Ray pulls the referee into Sting’s path.  Ray picks up the pipe and pops Sting in the ribs with it, saying that was for Hogan.  AJ comes in for the save and Sting gets a shot with the pipe to Ray for the pin at 11:35 total which was probably about 8:00 taking out the commercial.

Rating: C+. Not a terrible match here but three ways are hard to pull off when you have Bully Ray running the majority of the match.  This was designed to set up Anderson saying he still hasn’t gotten his title shot, meaning more of the same for the coming weeks.  Not bad, but really nothing we haven’t seen a bunch of times.

Anderson has the pipe as we go to a break.

Ray says AJ had no business being there.  Now he’s cost Ray a title so AJ has to sleep with an eye open.  Next time it’s concrete, not a table.  Ray threatens AJ’s family and says AJ shouldn’t be here next week.  AJ can’t hurt him because he’s a WARRIOR.

AJ says Ray will pay.

Scott Steiner says he beat up Morgan and that Morgan is half of the man Steiner is.  He makes fun of Morgan for being a basketball player.  Next week Steiner will get him.

The Jarretts say this has gone on too far.  Preach it brothers!

Velvet complains about Karen and Angelina.

Karen says she doesn’t have any enemies so she doesn’t know who Kurt could have.  And that’s it.  No mention of Anderson and the pipe again at all.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t as good as what TNA has had for the past few weeks but it wasn’t anything too bad.  A lack of Hogan and Bischoff helped this a lot I think as Hogan was only here for a quick promo about Ray and Bischoff wasn’t here tonight.  The matches they’re going with for Sacrifice are pretty clear so I’d expect the card to get a lot more filled out in the next week with official announcements.  Not a terrible show, but a slight step down from the last few weeks.

Results

Angelina Love b. Velvet Sky – Choke Out

Anarquia b. Chris Sabin – Small Package

Gunner b. Christopher Daniels – F5

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson went to a no contest when Abyss interfered

Sting b. Bully Ray and Mr. Anderson – Sting pinned Ray after a shot with a steel pipe

NXT
Date: April 26, 2011
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

Somehow this is two months old already.  Two months.  How in the world has it only been two months?  Anyway, we’re done with the draft now so it’s time to focus on the real important thing tonight: NXT!!!  Please, someone tell me there’s an elimination coming soon.  I can’t take these six guys on the show for another month.  Let’s get to it.

Maryse and Striker bring out the rookies and pros.  It’s time to play How Well Do You Know Your Pro.  This is the game where the teams are given a question and have to match their answers.  Is there a reason why the games are always the same and they NEVER come up with anything else?

First question is what is the one thing your rookie does better than any other rookie.  Byron says he speaks better, Tatsu says just wrestle.  Nice knowing you Yoshi.  Connor, with mutton chops, says punish people, Kozlov says fire up.  Young says he doesn’t care what Chavo said and that he thinks he’s a better wrestler than Chavo.  Chavo’s card says wrestle but it’s not a match.  Novak says he makes it look good, JTG says fly, which is apparently a match.  Cannon says this is about him, Kidd says best attire.  Titus says connect with the WWE Universe, Horny says bark.  Novak is the only one with a point.

Question two is if you can’t be a superstar, you should be what.  Regal talks about other jobs he used to have, such as working as a bouncer and wringing out sponges for a one armed window cleaner.  Byron says news reporter and is wrong as I didn’t see the card.  Conor says fighter, Vlad says firefighter which isn’t a match.  Young says he doesn’t care and Chavo says tax man.  Since when does Chavo wear glasses?

Novak says there is no answer because he will be the next breakout star.  JTG thinks hip hop MC.  Cannon wants to know how many times Maryse threw up in her mouth after kissing Yoshi but Kidd says fashion designer.  O’Neil says dogcatcher, Horny says bodyguard.  This ate up ten minutes and managed to make this show even weaker.  Regal again saves it, saying he understands why Cole left this show.  Novak wins with the only correct answer out of ten total.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

Young is being all aggressive to start and we hit the floor with Young in control.  Darren and Chavo are a weird pairing as they’re kind of both heels and yet they’re feuding.  Horny plays cheerleader to get Titus out of a chinlock.  Big old sideslam gets two.  Titus has beaten Young twice this season already so this is billed as a rivalry.  We’re in North Carolina so Young throws on a Figure Four.  Chavo won’t help him though so Young walks into a Low Down to end this at approximately 3:30.  My feed messed up so I missed a few parts but the match couldn’t have been longer than four minutes.

Rating: C-. Decent little match here as Titus continues to be pushed to the moon.  Ok maybe to outer space as I don’t think you can get to the moon from NXT.  Young arguing with Chavo is a nice little touch as it gives you a reason to pay attention to them, which is fine as Young is probably the best all around of these six.  Having a talented pro helps a lot too so they’re probably the best pairing.

Jacob Novak/JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian

The idea of putting a weak guy with a good guy is foreign on this show isn’t it?  Novak calls out Regal again as maybe my previous statement should be retracted.  Novak says Rega’s career is over which makes Regal stand up.  Regal says he’s over 40 and has lived 1000 lifetimes.  However, if Novak thinks he’s going to let a Muppet like Novak tell him what he’s going to do, Novak is crazy.  Regal wants a match RIGHT NOW.  Novak of course says no because he’s in the tag match but he’ll take on Regal next week.  I guess the big brawl of a feud is penciled in.

Novak and Kozlov start us off as Regal is eerily calm.  O’Brian and Kozlov send Novak to the floor as we take a break.  Regal calls JTG a waste of space and one of the worst people in the WWE.  Preach it brother man.  Back with JTG hitting a clothesline for two on O’Brian.  O’Brian fights back but stops to hit Novak like a good man but JTG takes over again.  Novak hammers on him a bit as Regal talks about lighting Novak on fire in the middle of winter and using his burning flesh to warm his hands.  Vince….about that offer for help for any employee…

The rookies hit the mat as we hear about how impressive Novak has been lately.  Regal takes credit for that which is saying a lot as I’ve become more and more bored by him week in and week out.  Naturally the two guys that are joined at the hop this season get to work the majority of the match.  O’Brian gets a DDT to break the momentum and it’s off to Vlad.  JTG gets involved and everything breaks down.  Novak fights off a double team and hits a big boot to O’Brian to end this at 6:45.

Rating: D+. I know this is getting into a good bit of personal bias, but I do not care about these two anymore.  Novak is trying with the whole Regal thing but it’s nothing.  If they let Novak go over Regal it’ll help him a bit but at the end of the day, Novak and O’Brian have no point being here and yet they’re never thrown off and are even brought back.  I don’t get it at all.  Match was just kind of there anyway.

Raw ReBound recaps the Draft of course.

Someone has destroyed Maryse’s purse so she rants to Tatsu in French.  She blames Lucky and goes off to check on her shoes.  Tatsu comes up to Saxton and asks if he’s seen Lucky.  Saxton gets annoyed with Tatsu not being his pro and says Tatsu can come to the ring for his match with Cannon.  Good to see Saxton showing some serious nature.

Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon

Saxton takes over to start as we hit the floor.  The crowd is SILENT.  Do you know how hard it is to kill fans in North freaking Carolina???  Big boot gets two for Cannon.  Triangle choke by Cannon gets him nowhere.  We hit the chinlock as Todd talks about Tatsu and Kidd going to Smackdown along with Regal, meaning they can hang out together.  Regal goes into a rather depressing speech about having no friends.  Grisham says the two of them get along.  Regal says in total deadpan that they don’t.  This was almost saddening.

Saxton makes his comeback and gets two off a shot from the middle rope.  Rollup gets the same.  We reference Gorgeous George and Chanel #10.  Kidd breaks up a pin attempt so Yoshi takes him out.  Cannon takes out Yoshi so he can tell Maryse he had nothing to do with this.  Yoshi comes in for the DQ at 5:44.  Saxton beats up Yoshi and gets beaten up by Cannon post match.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here but this was more or less the Maryse match rather than Cannon vs. Saxton.  That being said, it’s hardly a bad thing as she’s far more interesting and charismatic than both of them.  Match was only there to set up the finish which is ok, but it gets annoying after awhile.

Maryse might be impressed by Cannon.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me at all.  They seem like they’re just going in circles at this point with nothing at all coming to help this show.  O’Brian needs to go as he has nothing going on at all.  Even Novak has something to do here.  Still no mention of an elimination as I really think it’s going to be one winner and no eliminations throughout the season.  It’s never been this far into a season without one so maybe that’s what they’re going with.  Anyway, bad show here but there are at least some stories coming together, which would help this show a lot.

Results

Jacob Novak won the How Well Do You Know Your Pro Challenge

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Sitout Spinebuster

JTG/Jacob Novak b. Conor O’Brian/Vladimir Kozlov – Big boot to O’Brian

Lucky Cannon b. Byron Saxton via DQ when Yoshi Tatsu interfered

Here’s the final results. Is there a reason why the midcard champions are on the same show?

TO RAW
* Jack Swagger
* Kelly Kelly
* JTG
* Drew McIntyre
* Curt Hawkins
* Chris Masters
* Kofi Kingston
* Tyler Reks
* Beth Phoenix
* Rey Mysterio
* The Big Show
* Alberto Del Rio
* John Cena

TO SMACKDOWN
* Daniel Bryan
* The Great Khali (w/Ranjin Singh)
* Jimmy Uso
* Alicia Fox
* William Regal
* Yoshi Tatsu
* Natalya
* Jey Uso
* Ted DiBiase
* Tyson Kidd
* Tamina
* Alex Riley
* US Champion Sheamus
* John Cena (later drafted back)
* Randy Orton
* Mark Henry
* Sin Cara

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 25, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is the Draft and also the go home show before Extreme Rules.  The changes tonight don’t go into effect until after the PPV so the matches there are set in stone.  What it does mean though is that we could see a changing of some of the shows various titles are on which could help spice things up a bit.  This is usually fun and is being moved to this date due to Edge’s retirement, which is definitely a good thing as Smackdown is very low on star power right now.  Let’s get to it.

During Tough Enough we saw the Raw midcard coming into the ring for a 20 man battle royal with the winning brand getting the first pick.

Battle Royal

This is in progress as we start.  More or less imagine anyone in the midcard or upper midcard on either show and they’re in this.  There are 20 men in this with guys like Kane, Show, Bourne, Sheamus, Corre, DiBiase, Tatsu, Clay, Henry etc.  Three or four guys put Kane out.  Show fights Khali for a bit to a nice reaction.  These matches are always hard to call and this is no exception.  A bunch of Smackdown guys put out Khali.

Sheamus tries to dump Barrett but can’t get him.  Clay is walking around looking like he wants lunch.  Only two eliminations so far that I can tell.  Drew almost gets Bryan out but DiBiase saves.  If I understand this right any amount of people can win for a team, as in if there are three Smackdown guys left in the end the match ends.  Kozlov is out.  Show beats down Sheamus as Henry puts Big Zeke out.  The team dynamic here is kind of cool.

Slater is gone as is Masters.  Raw has a slight advantage now.  Barrett is gone as Raw takes over.  Did Ted DiBiase just put Barrett out?  Wow indeed.  There goes DiBiase.  Henry and Clay go out at the same time.  It looks like it’s 6-4 with Raw ahead but Tatsu goes out to make it 5-4.  Sheamus can’t put Rhodes out.  For Raw it’s Sheamus, Bourne, Daniel Bryan, Mason Ryan and Santino.  For the blue guys it’s Rhodes, Kofi, Drew and Show.  Drew puts Sheamus out as we take a break.

Back with no changes.  Bryan gets crushed by Show as Bourne puts McIntyre out.  Kofi comes off the top on Ryan but misses completely.  Santino goes to the apron and tries the Cobra on Show.  Show casually grabs it and hits Santino with his own move.  Bryan and Rhodes go out as we’re down to Mason Ryan and Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston and Big Show.  Size vs. size and speed vs. speed.  Kofi goes to the apron and we get an awesome sequence with Bourne hanging off the apron and sliding back in while Kofi jumps back in.

Bourne is put on the top but jumps at Show, only to be thrown out with ease.  The double teaming begins and a pendulum kick sends Ryan into Show who tosses him to earn the blue show the first pick at 13:40 since the show came on the air.  Best time guess I can give you there guys.

Rating: C-. Battle royals are hard to grade but this was just ok.  The ending sequence with Kofi and Evan was awesome and the right team won.  I’d bet on this being the big star pick that they need or they’ll save it until the end.  Either way not bad here but just a battle royal which isn’t something that is very good most of the time.

To Smackdown: JOHN CENA!!!  Cena comes out on the stage in the blue shirt as I’m stunned.  Raw belongs to Orton I guess.

We get the recap video of Morrison and Truth which is made out to be something Biblical almost.

Here’s Truth to no music and he says Raleigh, North Carolina…..SHUT UP!  Tonight is all about you, meaning the fans.  They do the WHAT chant and Truth gets annoyed.  He blames the fans for his failure because they goaded him into it and says the fans haven’t gotten him anywhere over the years.

Truth says the fans need rhythm and to get in tune for his singing and dancing.  He talks to an imaginary fan named Little Jimmy who he apparently made happy by singing What’s Up.  The kid singing doesn’t make him a champion either so Little Jimmy can SHUT UP.  He’s giving the fans the boot tonight and is done with them.  When he let go all of the frustration and anger if felt MARVELOUS (he screamed it, not me)!  For the first time the Truth has set him free.

Morrison jumps Truth and the referees come out for the pull apart.  Morrison breaks free and charges Truth who he leaves laying as we take a break.

Rock is here next week which is his birthday.

Another video of what will be Awesome Kong and we see her face.  The world Kharma pops up on the screen.

Eve Torres vs. Layla

Well the people in this one look better than they did in the first match.  Michelle comes out after Layla and is pretty ticked off here.  Eve gets a very quick Downward Spiral for two.  Layla comes over to Michelle and swings at her as Cole interrupts again.  Eve wins with a rollup at 40 seconds.

Cole is talking about his training regimen and says that Mr. Wrestlemania has left ringside.

Layla DESTROYS Michelle post match and cries, shouting that she’s sick of this.  Michelle goes onto the announce table as Layla is bawling.

To Raw: Rey Mysterio.  Well that’s a change of pace for him.

JR is warming up.  Trish wishes she jiggled that much.

Cody Rhodes talks

about giving Rey a new mask, as in the kind that you get in a hospital.  This is another of those creepy Cody promos that get better and better every time.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus

Sheamus takes over early and hits a slingshot shoulder block for two.  After that chickenwing Sheamus uses he gets sent into the post to shift momentum.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Next week will be Raw and Smackdown combined again apparently.  High Cross misses as does the Brogue Kick but a pair of Trouble in Paradises ends this at 2:34.  Quick match and nothing to rate at all.

To Smackdown: Randy Orton.  My jaw literally dropped on that one.

Michael Cole vs. Jim Ross

Booker T is on commentary now which I believe is the 9^th consecutive week that the announce team has changed during the show.  Lawler gets up to be in JR’s corner.  Ross is in dress pants and an Oklahoma football jersey.  The seconds are on the apron instead of the floor.  Cole makes fun or Ross’ weight and they circle each other a lot.  A minute in and we’ve had no contact.

Cole, in his orange singlet, dances around a lot as Ross throws right hands.  Cole hits the floor as we’ve had no serious contact after two minutes.  Cole puts JR’s hat on then takes it off and stomps on it.  Cole has a lot of tattoos.  Swagger towels Cole off and he does some pushups.  We’ve now reached the length of Sheamus vs. Kofi with no contact yet.  Ross finally grabs Cole and shoves him down.

Cole calls for timeout and Swagger puts a stool in the corner.  There’s a spit bucket and water.  Cole actually tries to slam him so Ross hammers on him with some ground and…..with some ground and……no I just can’t say it.  Cole tries to run and Lawler throws him back in.  Swagger takes down Cole and then comes in for the DQ at 4:35.

Rating: F-. Oh just…..no.  We get it: Cole is a jerk that everyone hates.  This needs to END.  It’s played beyond belief and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to keep going after Extreme Rules.

Cole shouts about what Ross did to him as he has a bloody lip.  He gets a belt off JR I think and whips Ross with it.  Lawler comes in for the save and the heels run.  An E-Mail makes the match on Sunday a country whipping (strap) match.  Someone got busted legit in that as there’s a bunch of blood on Ross’ cheek.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton

This is for two picks.  Orton takes over for a bit until Ziggler comes back with a crossface chickenwing as the Backlundmania is spreading.  Orton fights back as they seem to botch something with Ziggler going to the floor.  Dropkick sends Orton into the front row and it’s not a countout of course.  Orton’s new beard won’t let that happen.  Randy comes back in and hits what is supposed to be a Thesz Press and hammers away.  Angle Slam gets two.  He loads up the RKO and despite Vickie interfering we’re done at 3:20 to send two more people to Fridays.  Good grief that’s a ton.

Rating: C+. This was short but they fit a lot in there.  It was a pretty good job of getting a very quick match that made sense which is hard to do with just over three minutes.  The ending was pretty obvious when Ziggler got no entrance at all and now looks like Evan Bourne’s cousin.  Not bad but WAY too short.

We start the Draft wheel again but Punk cuts it off.  He talks about beating Orton in the last man standing match this Sunday.  Orton says he’ll be glad to be gone from Raw so he won’t have to deal with Punk anymore.  This Sunday he’ll be the last man standing.  Now for the picks.  Ok never mind as they’re after the break.

To Smackdown: Mark Henry and Sin Cara.  Henry still has a job?  Cara is good because they can edit his matches to make them a bit less sloppy which will help him a lot I think.

Wade Barrett vs. Rey Mysterio

Barrett gets kicked in the leg to start but a Boss Man Slam gets two.  Off to a bow and arrow as Rey is in trouble early on.  Rey gets a springboard cross body for two.  Into the corner as I love that evil smile Barrett has.  Rey knocks him down and gets a headscissors to set up the 619 and top rope splash to end this at 2:30.  Just like the previous match: short but they got some stuff in there.

To Raw: Big Show and Alberto Del Rio.  Show is pointless as he can go from show to show with his tag title.  Alberto changes the whole world title picture though.  In the back Alberto is mad and Clay wants to know what happens to him but is sent away.

After we run down the card, Teddy introduces the main event which is for the final draft pick.

CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. John Cena/Mark Henry/Christian

The match starts after the break.  There’s going to be a supplemental draft tomorrow at noon.  That’s always fun.  Josh says this is the final time for Cena on Raw.  Assuming that draft picks stays, that’s absolutely laughable since they said next week is going to have guys from Raw and Smackdown on it already.  Christian vs. Miz to start us off.  Off to Cena and Miz runs off.  We actually take ANOTHER break as this is ridiculous.  Vince must need a new plane with this many commercials tonight.

Back with Cena cleaning house with a dropkick to Punk and it’s off to Henry.  After he stands on Punk a bit Christian comes in but the clapping gets him in trouble.  Avoid the clap dude.  Punk gets a big kick to take him down and it’s off to Del Rio. He works on the shoulder a bit and it’s off to Miz.  Lots of tagging in this match so far.  More arm work follows including a Codebreaker to the arm for two.

After Christian plays Ricky Morton for a bit (does that make Edge Robert Gibson somehow?) he manages to pull off a tornado DDT to Del Rio and it’s hot tag to Cena.  Miz comes in also and Cena hammers on the champion.  Protoplex puts him down but Henry takes Cena down with a shoulder block.  He picks Christian up in a press slam and throws him into the steps and the Skull Crushing Finale ends Cena.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here with nothing of note to it.  I think we all knew Raw would win here as they more or less had no other option.  Henry turning isn’t anything of note at all as he’s boring beyond belief for the most part anymore.  Not much here but a decent ending I guess.

To Raw: John Cena.  Yeah we knew it was coming.

Cena cleans house to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well for overall shock value this certainly worked.  Cena and Orton both going had my jaw dropping.  The wrestling itself though….not so much.  The Cole/Ross thing was just annoying as it has been for weeks now.  The total focus on the main event save for a few picks is rather annoying stuff but that’s par for the course here.  Pretty weak Draft but it gave Smackdown more than the boost it needed, which is the point of the show.  The ending was a bit predictable but that’s fine as the initial shock was great.  Not the worst show but nothing great at all.

Results

Team Smackdown won a battle royal – Big Show last eliminated Mason Ryan

Eve Torres b. Layla – Rollup

Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Trouble in Paradise

Jim Ross b. Michael Cole via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Rey Mysterio b. Wade Barrett – Top rope splash

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/CM Punk b. John Cena/Mark Henry/Christian – Skull Crushing Finale to Cena

Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Tonight Alberto Del Rio is going to have a going away party for Edge who apparently will be in attendance tonight.  Things are all leading to the Draft on Monday where things are going to get turned upside down as they typically do.  This should be fun as Smackdown was pretty good last week.  They’ve changed their style to more of a squash heavy show which works in a different way than the style they had used before.  Let’s get to it.

We open with the 3 Doors Down video from Raw which works for me as they’re my favorite band.  This is a clipped down version, as in like 45 seconds long.

We also get a recap of the ending of the battle royal last week with Christian winning the spot in the match against Del Rio.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine at the moment is people that can’t understand what “no lettuce” means.

The world title belt is hanging above the ring.

Big Show and Kane vs. Corre for the tag titles later as well as Kofi vs. Barrett for the IC Title.  Didn’t he get a rematch already?

Cole gets a big introduction as Sir Michael Cole.  Wouldn’t he be subservient to King Booker?

Cody Rhodes comes out with a paper bag.  There are also people in suits with a shopping cart.  Cody says his mask is for protection but Rey’s is for hiding his fears and hatred for the fans.  He talks about how the fans are all wearing masks as we’re getting philosophical here.  He has a remedy though at his own expense.  In the shopping cart are paper bags with faces cut out of them.  Not quite the cars that Oprah gives away but a nice gift I guess.  Cody has a bag saved for Rey.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey gets a kick in early and we head to the floor.  Rey gets a seated senton off the apron as we take a break.  Back with Cody knocking Rey off the top and taking over.  Cody tries a powerbomb which is reversed for two.  Big old clothesline gets two for Rhodes as Cody is being all psycho.  Dropkick looks to set up the 619 but Cody reverses with a backdrop to the apron.  They fight on said apron with Cody sending Rey into the post as we take ANOTHER break.  We’ve had two breaks with three minutes of actual wrestling to watch.

Back with Cody hammering away as Booker and Cole get into it again.  Rey does the Bret Hart chest into the buckle bump so Cody can ram the mask into the head of Rey.  Booker thinks Cody has amnesia.  What in the world is Booker on anyway?  Rey fights Cody off of the top and gets some high flying stuff including a cross body for two.  The swinging kick to a seated Cody misses as he rolls Rey up for two.

Top rope….something….jumps into a dropkick by Cody for two.  It might have been a cross body but it wasn’t actually cross.  Cody sets for Cross Rhodes but Rey fights out of it.  Another powerbomb is attempted but Rey counters again, this time into a rana for the pin at 7:10 shown of 14:10.

Rating: C+. Well what we saw of it was good.  This will likely be setting up the tiebreaker match at Extreme Rules which I really hope Cody wins.  He has the potential to be a decent main event jobbing heel and I hope they let him do that rather than having him job to Rey like so many others have done in the past.

Cody keeps beating on Rey post match and they go into the crowd for a bit.  They get bored out there I guess as they head back to ringside.  Cody sends Rey into the steps and they fight on the barricade.  Rey sends him into the crowd again and takes over.  Rey LAUNCHES Cody over the railing to send him back towards the ring.  Cody looked like a mannequin flying through the air.  Cody takes over again and hits Cross Rhodes on the floor.  He puts a paper bag over Rey’s head and leaves him laying.

Gabriel and Barrett are in the back and Gabriel says it wasn’t personal when he eliminated him.  Barrett says it was personal and Slater says they both would have sold their mother down the river to get ahead.  Jackson comes up and says calm down because he’s the leader.  Barrett glares at him so Jackson says he’s just kidding.  Barrett and the tag champions still aren’t happy.

We recap Laycool’s therapy from last week.  They had more therapy earlier today and McCool says Layla wouldn’t be here without her.  They argue even more and yell at the therapist.  McCool says maybe they should split because Layla might not be flawless.  Michelle apologizes and they hug to a nice pop.  And never mind as McCool grabs her by the hair and throws her onto the couch.  I’ll let that image sink in for a few moments before I point out it was to hurt Layla.  She cries as McCool leaves.

Cole is in the ring and we see a clip of the knighting and feet kissing thing from Raw.  He brings out Swagger for the following squash.

Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta

Total squash as Swagger beats him up with ease, hitting the Vader Bomb.  An enziguri hits and Trent tries a springboard, only to get caught in a powerbomb.  Angle lock ends clean at 1:13.

Big Show was at the Kids Choice Awards.

Tag Titles: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Big Show/Kane

Slater vs. Kane to start as we’re talking about John Kennedy for some reason.  Cole says Booker is jealous because he’s not a King anymore.  Maybe he’s an 8 or 9 but not a King.  Show comes in for some pounding and it’s back off to Kane.  Slater gets a shot to the knee and immediately tags out.  Gabriel comes in and before he takes two steps takes a right hand from Kane to take him down.  That looked great!

Kane goes up but Jackson shoves him off to set up the Ricky Morton stint.  Slater grabs a chinlock and tags out again to Justin.  Gabriel at least makes it more than a few seconds before getting drilled this time that’s an upgrade for him.  Kane pops him with another hard sounding shot and tries the side slam.  Gabriel reverses into a spinning DDT for two.  Slater comes off the top and Kane pops him as well.  He’s been sharp with those punches in this.

Hot tag to Show who cleans house.  Slater gets sent to the floor onto Jackson and Kane hits that uppercut on Jackson as well.  He must have been following his brother with only big right hands or uppercuts.  Anyway Slater runs into Big Show and we remember who is who here, meaning the chokeslam gives us new champion at 4:04.  Kane and Big Show were never once in anything resembling jeopardy here.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here but Kane’s uppercuts, while basic, were cool looking as they made every member of the Corre go flying.  Also they didn’t make things ridiculous by having the two small guys fight against the monsters which would have been a good bit realistic.  Not much here but the right ending and it gives the English fans something special to remember.

The Corre argues in the back with Jackson blaming Slater for getting pinned and Slater shoving Gabriel and walking away.

Drew McIntyre vs. Chris Masters

When is the last time Masters won a match that wasn’t on Superstars?  Masters shoves him into the corner to start and sends Drew to the apron.  Masterlock out there doesn’t work so Chris blasts him to the apron.  Back in and Drew wakes up a bit as he hammers away for two.  Futureshock is reversed into a small package for two.  Sky High gets two for Masters as he makes a nice comeback.  Middle rope shoulder gets two and he goes for the Masterlock again.  Drew walks up the corner and slams back onto Masters to reverse.  Futureshock ends this at 3:35.  Nice pop for McIntyre.

Rating: C. Better match here with Masters looking competitive again but eventually he has to beat someone.  He really needs a move that is a pinning move like a powerbomb or something as most heels simply aren’t going to give up to end a match.  That Sky High of his could work.  If he gets some pins with it then it makes him a far better threat to anyone else he fights, which he really isn’t at the moment.

Raw ReBound is the R-Truth heel turn from Raw.  The video they have is the one from NXT which is much better than the actual turn itself.  Eats up about 4:30.

We recap the Rhodes/Mysterio match and post match stuff from earlier.  The match at the PPV will be falls count anywhere.  That fits with the crowd thing earlier I guess.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Jackson is with Barrett.  Kofi hammers away to start as Booker says Kofi worries about the fans too much.  Barrett gets a boot in to take over.  Kofi sends him to the floor and hits a BIG cross body to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Barrett holding a bow and arrow hold on Kingston.  During the break Barrett sent Kofi into the steps to take over.

Back to the floor again as Barrett might have a bad wrist or hand.  Jackson accidentally takes Barrett out and we head back in.  Barrett yells at Jackson and sends him to the back.  Small package gets two for Kofi and it’s comeback (was he ever in trouble) time.  Boom Drop hits and Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise.  Wade catches him in a fireman’s carry and puts Kofi on top.  Kofi tries a victory roll/rollup off the ropes but Barrett kneels down and grabs the ropes for the pin at 4:24 shown of 7:54.  Well that was short.

Rating: C-. Kofi’s big spots were nice but he needs to go to Raw.  There is nothing left for him to do on Smackdown and it’s very clear.  He hasn’t had any direction in forever and he needs a change of scenery.  This was a pretty weak match overall but the time is to blame for that.  Even though the whole thing was almost 8 minutes, just seeing about four and a half didn’t work.  Not a fan of this one but it was ok from a technical standpoint.

Time for Alberto’s party for Edge.  Clay and Rodriguez are there with him of course.  There are presents apparently and they’re under sheets.  Alberto pulls the first sheet off and it’s a grandfather clock.  Gift number two: adult diapers.  Make you own jokes there.  The third gift is her.

Cue LITA of all people….and it’s a fat chick.  Yeah I think we all saw that coming.  Del Rio says she never looked better.  Edge can go on a romantic stroll with her because he has this: a walker.  Time for the final gift which is a motorized scooter driven by Ricardo.  He does the Edge pose for the pyro to go off.  Oh and it comes complete with a handicap parking pass.

Cue Edge, looking a bit more like himself in jeans and a t-shirt with sunglasses.  Edge RSVPed on Facebook (that was on the graphic every time they showed it tonight) and this party sucks.  After some bad insults, Del Rio sends Brodus after Edge.  Christian pops up from nowhere with a ladder to drill Brodus and Del Rio as Alberto charges.  Christian sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring and pulls down the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Considering this was one of the England show, this worked pretty well I though.  They let it be a regular show instead of a boring one like they tend to have on the British episodes.  Things are kind of on hold until the Draft which is a problem as we have the PPV right around the corner.  Cody was good tonight and the PPV is a good place to blow that feud off at.  Solid show overall and it worked rather well.  Good stuff.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Hurricanrana

Jack Swagger b. Trent Barreta – Ankle Lock

Big Show/Kane b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Chokeslam to Slater

Drew McIntyre b. Chris Masters – Futureshock

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Impact
Date: April 21, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Two Horses for Sister Karen

We’re past Lockdown now which means we can move on from some of the stuff we had been building to.  Sting is still world champion and AJ is back.  Not a lot really changed at the PPV which is kind of odd but it is what it is.  Anyway, tonight we begin the road to Sacrifice which doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Road to Lockdown.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Lockdown including all three major matches.  Jarrett vs. Angle resulted in multiple injuries.  Why do I have a feeling this feud is going to continue?  Karen says it’s over.  We also recap Lethal Lockdown with AJ’s return after…..17 days of being gone.  Also Sting wants to fight Hogan.

Cue AJ to open the show, repelling down from the ceiling into a cage full of weapons.  He talks about Bully Ray and his big return at Lockdown.  The only reason AJ was there was to get his revenge but he’s not done.  He wants Ray in the cage tonight.  AJ rips off his shirt and is ready to fight.  Here’s Ray for his reply.

Ray talks about putting AJ in a hospital for a month.  Uh….not quite.  Ray says that he’ll do it again and do it even worse this time.  Then he’ll go AJ’s house and take care of his wife and kids.  The wife part doesn’t sound that bad apparently.  AJ is waiting in the ring instead of going after Ray for some reason, perhaps due to not wanting to be jumped by Immortal.  Rey comes to the cage but stops early.  Ray has nothing left to prove since he’s already taken AJ out once.

He turns to leave but Daniels jumps the Bully in the aisle.  Daniels throws Ray into the cage and the beatdown is on.  Ray is sent into the cage a few times and takes a Pele to put him down.  Big trashcan shot to the head and Ray is down.  Gunner comes out to try to make the save but is picked off by Daniels.  They fight up the ramp and AJ puts Ray on the table.  Is the rest of Immortal just busy or something?  Ray has a BIG knot on his forehead.  With Ray on the table, AJ goes to the top of the cage, only for Ray to get off the table and head out the door.

We recap Lethal Lockdown and are told that Flair had a torn rotator cuff due to the armbar by Roode.  He’s been hurt for awhile so that’s the angle to get him off TV.  That’s probably the best thing for him really.

Rob Terry and Murphy come out to the cage and run off the guys clearing out the weapons.  They’re here to get payback on Beer Money for hurting Flair so they’re going to take the tag titles right now.  Beer Money comes out and says cool.  The match starts after the break.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Murphy/Rob Terry

The match has started during the break apparently as Roode is in trouble when we come back.  Terry gets a World’s Strongest Slam for two.  There are weapons hanging around the ring as well.  Off to Murphy who works on the back a bit more.  Terry sends him into the cage and a clothesline gets two.  Roode finally gets in a shot and both guys are down.

Hot tag to Storm who hammers away on both guys.  Codebreaker takes Murphy down as does a DDT and superkick to Terry.  Everything breaks down and the AA Spinebuster to Terry puts him down.  Double suplex to Murphy and it’s time for a double taunt.  DWI ends Terry at 4:03 shown.

Rating: C-. Run of the mill throwaway tag match here but Beer Money looked good.  It also advances Immortal vs. Fourtune which helps a bit.  Beer Money is in desperate need of challengers at this point and with various teams being dismantled they need to find some new ones very quickly.

The Jarretts take a carriage ride and Jeff praises Karen a lot.  It’s her night apparently.  Since Jeff is King of the Mountain, she gets crowned Queen of the Mountain tonight.  This is going to trump the royal wedding apparently.  We look at the horses which I guess is what the episode title is referencing.

Hogan is on his way to the ring, pipe in hand.

Here’s Hogan after a break.  He says he’s awesome and wants RVD here now.  Hogan says everyone knows RVD is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.  Not quite as 90s as bad mamma jamma but close.  RVD asks if Hogan remembers the time before he was a heel.  He turned his back on everyone for ratings though.  Hogan says nothing has changed and RVD says now everyone wishes Hogan would just go away.

RVD says he accomplished everything he’s accomplished with respect.  I’m not touching that one.  A leg drop isn’t enough anymore because things have changed, but RVD won’t.  Hogan says RVD has always been a big fish in a small pond.  Uh….what?  As long as Hogan is around, RVD will only be in the midcard apparently.

Cue Sting who says he invited himself.  RVD is a main eventer apparently because he’ll be in the main event at Sacrifice thanks to the Network.  Hogan: “Are you high too Stinger?  Because if you are give me some!”  Apparently the Network says that Sting gets to pick his opponents now.  Hogan says he runs the show but Sting says the executives are coming soon.  Hogan says RVD has a problem tonight against Abyss with Hogan in Abyss’ corner.  Also Sting vs. Matt Hardy as a chance for revenge for Matt’s brother.  No word on if the main event is a title match.

Kurt is looking for the Jarretts and someone saw them in the parking lot.

Madison and Tara argue in the back because it’s apparently Tara’s fault Madison lost the title.  There’s a Knockouts Tag Title match tonight also.

Eric is feeding the horses which he names Mongo and Sid, apparently the best Horsemen of all time.  I give up.  Young is feeding them beans.  Angle says go get some buckets.  Kurt has evil ideas about buckets apparently.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Madison Rayne/Tara

Matt vs. Sting is for the title apparently.  Mexican America looks like they want to let the flag come down but it doesn’t show up.  Anarquia runs down America a bit.  Ah there’s the flag.  The match starts after the break.  Just like earlier we come back with the match in progress.  Tara slaps Madison on the arm to tag her and they almost come to blows.  Sarita dances and hits a dropkick.

Madison slams her into the mat and adds a big boot so she can yell at both chicks again.  Now she yells at Tara.  Some of you might be noticing a pattern here.  The guys distract the referee so Rosita can throw Madison into a clothesline to end this at 1:54 shown.  Yes, Madison kept the Knockout Title for 6 months and here she loses to a clothesline.  Too short to grade.

Time for Karen to be crowned.  Jeff talks about how awesome Karen is for awhile.  They’re both in pure white too.  She’s officially the Queen of the Mountain.  And of course there’s manure in the crown.  Kurt comes out and hits an Angle Slam on Jarrett to a chair.  Angle says he has a mistress that will hurt Karen for him and she’ll be here soon.

Hogan gives Abyss a pep talk in the back.  Hogan goes over to Anderson and asks if Anderson knows who the Network person is.  Anderson makes fun of Hogan, saying that this has to be a rib.  Hogan says Anderson is the only person that he hates in wrestling and he hates being in the same room with him.  Then why does Hogan keep going to talk to him?  Hogan says if this was about 10 years ago this would end differently for Anderson.  Anderson says he’s bored so he has to go annoy someone else.

Back and we recap what we just saw.  The manure came from the ceiling, not out of the crown.  I thought there was a lot of it to fit in the crown.

Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam

They start the brawl almost immediately and Abyss goes down.  Big boot puts RVD down and we hit the neck crank almost immediately.  This is far more of a brawl than a match which is what it should be.  RVD lands a kick which apparently knocked out two of Abyss’ teeth.  RVD makes his comeback and Hogan distracts the referee.  It’s a ruse though for him to slide the pipe in to Abyss who pops Van Dam in the ribs with it.  Black Hole Slam ends this at 3:51.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here to set up the post match stuff.  I believe this is the first time since the attack with Janice in the fall/summer of last year but I’m not sure.  Either way, nothing too bad here but it was way too short to be great.  Granted if it hadn’t been we couldn’t have shown Karen having horse manure dropped on her head again so they clearly made the right choice.

Hogan and Abyss set to attack RVD but Crimson makes the save.

Sting says he can’t wait to wrestle because that’s what he does.

Matt has Jeff’s title belt and we reference him a bit.  Matt is COLD BLOODED!

Here’s Matt Morgan to talk about wanting the world title.  He’s tired of waiting and wants the title right now.  Cue Scott Steiner of all people.  He talks about Morgan being the DNA of TNA.  If Steiner had Morgan’s DNA he’d kill himself then hang himself.  The line for world title shots starts behind Steiner apparently.  Steiner says Morgan is beneath him, just like Morgan’s girlfriend was last night.

Morgan says Steiner was an inspiration to him and talks about Steiner bringing athleticism back to this art form.  Don’t misinterpret the respect for weakness though because there’s nothing weak on him.  They make the obvious match.  They shake hands and Steiner kicks him low.  Steiner Recliner goes on and Morgan is left laying.

Tessmacher is back.  Ok then.

Velvet and Winter have their usual moment of the week.  Velvet is going to go to the authorities with this.  Angelina destroys her.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Sting

Matt has Jeff’s world title, making it the third world title belt currently being worn by someone in TNA.  Immortal is waiting on Sting in the aisle but Fourtune runs out for the save.  Sting never got touched if that’s not clear.  As Sting gets in the ring, Gunner gets a shot to the knee with a pipe.  Matt takes over on a one legged Sting and a second rope leg drop gets two.

Moonsault misses though as Sting manages to roll out of the way.  Scorpion is attempted but Matt kicks him off at the last second so he can go after the knee again.  Chop block gets two.  We take a break with Sting avoiding an elbow drop.  Back with Matt working over Sting who is in the t-shirt again this week.  The injured leg has changed to the right one now but I guess left and right is hard to keep track of.  Back to the left one now.  Sting makes a comeback but misses the Splash.  Hot shot into snake eyes sets up the Scorpion Death Drop to keep Sting’s title at 9:30 total.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here for the most part as Matt was just a midcard guy getting a title shot.  I like that actually as it allows you to have both guys lose nothing.  Sting beats a guy he’s supposed to beat and Matt loses nothing because he shouldn’t beat Sting.  The leg work stuff was fine too as it added a little story to the match.  Not bad at all here which was a nice surprise.

Anderson comes out and hits Mic Checks on both guys, saying to Sting that he’s not going away yet.

Karen FREAKS over the Angle thing and yells at Jeff even though he can barely move.  Jeff wants to know how many times he has to beat Angle.  Karen is REALLY annoying here, which she’s supposed to be.

Hogan says Anderson is done.  He says the Network is coming at him like a double fisted kangaroo.  Has he been chilling with JR or something?

Anderson says they had that coming to them.

Sting says who cares about whatever happens as all that matters is what Anderson did.  He wants revenge.

Overall Rating: C. I liked this again for the most part.  They were kind of in a holding pattern here which is perfectly fine.  Something that you notice about TNA is that there are a lot of people that miss the show some weeks because of a lack of time to fit everyone in, such as Mickie, Pope and Joe.  That’s not a bad thing as they do what they have to do with just two hours a week but it’s something that becomes a bit of an issue as it can get hard to keep up with stories.

No Bischoff this week which helped a lot.  Too many authority figures hurts things a lot and that’s a problem TNA needs to address.  You have Hogan, Bischoff and the Network plus various people making matches at a whim it seems.  Sting vs. Van Dam is fine for a PPV main event and it helps a lot here to see a random world title match that made a bit of sense.  More wrestling please though.

Results

Beer Money b. Rob Terry/Murphy – DWI to Terry

Rosita/Sarita b. Madison Rayne/Tara – Clothesline to Rayne

Abyss b. Rob Van Dam – Black Hole Slam

Sting b. Matt Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop