Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This really is a different era in the WWF as we’re moving more towards a child friendly product with more over the top and at times cartoonish characters. It’s not the most interesting all the time, but with the way business was going at the time, it was clear that something had to change. Luckily that gives us a twenty six minute Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels main event. Let’s get to it.

Slick is behind a pulpit in the interview area to start and talks about how great this show was. He goes into preacher mode and talks about spreading joy and peace. I have no idea what this has to do with wrestling and I don’t think he does either.

Vince and Bobby run down the card. There are multiple gimmick matches tonight.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

High Energy is Owen Hart and Koko B. Ware in really ugly pants. The Headshrinkers (Samu and Fatu, more famous as Rikishi) don’t get an entrance. Samu and Owen start things off with Owen being thrown around pretty easily. Things speed up a bit and Owen avoids a big clothesline and hits a cross body for two. The fans are getting fired up.

Off to Koko who makes Samu miss a right hand which hits Fatu. Koko stomps on Samu’s bare feet but he tries to ram the Headshrinkers’ heads together but due to racial stereotypes, there’s no effect whatsoever. Afa, the Headshrinker’s manager, CRACKS Koko in the back with his staff and Koko is in trouble immediately. Owen is draw into the ring by some Samoan bragging, only causing Koko to get beaten down even more.

Vince tries to talk about the main events and Heenan says stick to the subject. That’s a new one. Samu hooks a nerve hold on Koko but he’s too dumb to feel pain so it’s a clothesline instead and Ware is still in trouble. A chop gets two and Samu chokes a bit. Samu misses a corner splash and there’s the hot tag to Owen. Owen dropkicks both guys down and hits a top rope cross body on Samu for two. A spinwheel kick takes Fatu down, only to get caught in a powerslam. Fatu hits a GREAT looking top rope splash to crush Owen and get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this match a lot more than I should have but I love the Headshrinkers. That top rope splash looked great and Owen sold it like the master that he was. Other than that this was a very basic match with power vs. speed and that’s the right choice for an opener. Good stuff here and I liked it a lot.

Boss Man is getting ready in the back. He says Nailz is a bad man and that he’s committed a lot of crimes and has to be punished for them.

Sean Mooney issues us a warning about how violent the upcoming match is going to be. I don’t think that’s going to be necessary. Nailz comes in and says he’s been waiting for this for a long time and now he’s out of prison. The story was that Nailz was an allegedly innocent convict that was abused by Boss Man in prison and now he’s here for revenge. It’s corny but it’s as good as anything else.

Boss Man (in his second promo in about two and a half minutes) says he’ll take out Nailz tonight. He sees Nailz in the ring and runs out to the arena.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

This is a nightstick on a pole match, which means you can get it down and use the stick on the other guy. Is it a DQ if the person that doesn’t pull it down uses it? That’s how the rules sound at least. Nailz tries to get to the stick but Boss Man runs out for the save. Nailz isn’t a wrestler so him using nothing but chokes and punches makes perfect sense. He chokes Boss Man down but still can’t get the stick.

A right hand puts Nailz down and Boss Man gets his hand on the stick but he gets slammed down off the top. Nailz works on Boss Man’s back a bit and chokes away some more but Boss Man shoulders him down. A splash misses and Nailz goes for the corner again, only to get crotched as this is already getting slow. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Boss Man quickly gets to the corner to get the stick. Nailz barely sells a stick shot to the face but Boss Man no sells one to the ribs and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was terrible with the no selling looking awful. I mean, it’s a nightstick to the head. There are only so many ways you can get hit with that and be up twenty seconds later. Nailz never did anything other than this although he was scheduled to feud with Undertaker. Boss Man would be gone after the Royal Rumble and wouldn’t be back for years.

Nailz chokes Mooney and says that was injustice.

Tatanka, a Native American, is chanting to get ready for his match with Martel, which is over some stolen feathers. It was a different time.

Flair and Ramon are with Gene. This is a pairing that came out of nowhere but they’re in one of the main events tonight. Ultimate Warrior was supposed to team up with Savage to face these guys but Warrior went nuts and bailed on the company again, leaving Savage without a partner.

Savage was on Prime Time Wrestling (the forerunner to Raw, even though they’re very different shows) and offered the spot on his team to Flair’s manager Mr. Perfect. Heenan, Flair’s other manager, immediately said no and Perfect snapped on him and accepted the offer, causing Heenan to slap him. Bobby begs for Perfect to stay and gets water poured on him for being pathetic.

After the clip is over, Flair is all fired up and wants to know what Perfect is thinking. Perfect basked in Flair’s glory but it was only because Flair allowed it. Now Perfect has made a decision and stepped to the other side and it’s time to pay to the Nature Boy and Razor. Flair looked all kinds of fired up here and it was awesome.

Razor, still in his original persona of Al Pacino from Scarface (funny story about that: Vince is known for not seeing almost any big time movies. When Ramon was interviewing with Vince, McMahon asked him to come up with a character on the spot. Ramon went into a Tony Montana imitation from the movie Scarface without knowing Vince had never seen the move. Vince immediately thought Ramon was a genius and push him), makes generic threats. Flair was AWESOME here.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Tatanka is undefeated at this point and remember this is over stolen feathers. They trade chops in the corner with Tatanka taking over via a backdrop. Martel bails to the floor and I have a feeling this is going to be a long one. Rick gets knocked to the floor again and the fans don’t seem to be that interested. Martel is incorrectly called a former Intercontinental Champion. Nice job Vince.

Back inside and Martel pounds away a bit before hitting a hot shot to take over. Off to a front facelock as the fans are distracted by a fight in the crowd. Tatanka suplexes out of the hold but gets put right back in it. The yet to be named Doink the Clown pops up in the aisle making balloon animals. It’s as random of a cameo as it sounds. Another suplex puts Martel down but Rick hits Tatanka in the throat to take him down. It’s back to the stupid facelock as Doink keeps making animals. Tatanka escapes and clotheslines him down before avoiding a charging Martel in the corner.

This is going nowhere at all. Tatanka works on the arm and gets two off a backslide. Back to the arm although it’s fairly late in the match to do so. Doink is tormenting fans now. Martel sends Tatanka over the top to the floor and things somehow get even more dull. Back in and Tatanka goes on the war path and hits a top rope chop. Because he’s an Indian you see. The Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) finally pins Martel.

Rating: D. This was a long match that wasn’t bad. It was worse than bad: it was BORING. That’s the problem with Tatanka: he only had so far that he could go and they pushed that limit WAY farther than they should have. He wasn’t anything interesting and his in ring stuff wasn’t that great. Martel was kind of hanging around at this point and he would be gone soon.

Doink pops the animals he made. That’s not nice.

Perfect talks about being in Flair’s shadow, which he finds laughable. He says Flair has wanted to be like Mr. Perfect since Flair got here, but there can only be one Mr. Perfect. Perfect says he can beat Flair and Ramon with no trouble. Savage says he knows more about surviving than anyone else. Ten days ago he had no partner but now he has Mr. Perfect. He doesn’t trust Perfect, but he thinks they could be the perfect tag team. This did a very good job of hyping up the match in short order.

Razor Ramon/Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect

Perfect comes out separately to give Heenan momentary hope that he bailed. He comes through the curtain and Heenan ERUPTS, going on a rant that lasts through Perfect and Savage’s very slow walks down the aisle. Perfect and Ramon start things off in an AWA reunion. This is one of Perfect’s first matches in over a year so he may be a bit rusty. Perfect takes Razor to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head, sending Flair into a fit.

Ramon takes him into the corner and gets slapped in the face, which brings in Flair for the big showdown we’ve been wanting for. Perfect beats him into the corner almost immediately and pounds away. We get a Flair Flip out of the corner and Flair runs right into Savage who gets a tag a second later. Savage slaps Flair in the face to tick him off even more. Then he does it AGAIN.

Ramon and Flair both come in and get punched in the face. A couple of clotheslines take Flair down until FINALLY Ramon gets a knee in the back of Savage to slow him down. Razor tries to go for the leg but Randy kicks him off both times. When all else fails, Ramon chokes away to keep Savage in the ring. Off to Flair for more stomping and it’s Ramon in again to work on Savage’s back.

We get Ramon’s signature abdominal stretch with help from his partner spot. Vince tries to imitate Monsoon by saying Ramon needs to hook the toe but it’s just not the same. Savage hip tosses out of it but gets stomped right back down. Flair throws him over the top and tot he floor where Ramon rams Savage into the steps. Back to Ramon for a half crab and Perfect goes for a walk up the aisle. Heenan is ESTATIC.

Never mind though as he turns around and comes back. Well it was a cool moment while it lasted. Randy is busted open and Ramon pounds away on the face even faster. Flair starts covering a lot faster as he’s getting frustrated. Razor comes in and drops an elbow for two and a chokeslam gets the same. With the heels completely in control, Flair goes up top. The man may be a master in the ring, but he NEVER LEARNS.

Savage superplexes him down and Ric is suddenly in trouble. There’s a tag to Ramon and one to Perfect as well. Perfect hits the Hennig neck snap and a knee lift to both guys. Everything breaks down and Flair hits Savage with a chair to make it two on one. Perfect gets knocked into the official but he flips out of the Razor’s Edge and hits the PerfectPlex on Ramon for a delayed two as Flair makes the save. The PerfectPlex to Flair gets the same result and we have two referees in there. One of them calls the match for a DQ, much to the annoyance of the crowd. Savage and Perfect win to calm things down a bit.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was bordering on great until the lame ending. I wouldn’t see a problem with Flair getting pinned by the PerfectPlex here. They would have a great match on Raw that would send Flair packing soon enough, but for now this was a great return to the ring for Perfect who hadn’t wrestled in quite a while.

Post match Flair puts Hennig in the Figure Four and Razor gets a chair, but Savage makes a save and chases both guys off.

Flair and Ramon rant in the back.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna is listed as being from the Polynesian Islands here. This is when Yokozuna is only 505lbs and he had padding in his outfit to make him look fatter. Yokozuna immediately shoves Virgil away and chops him down. Some dropkicks do some good for Virgil but Yokozuna superkicks him (and gets his foot higher than Virgil did on his dropkicks) to take over.

Virgil pounds away a bit but a Rock Bottom takes him down. Some more shots stagger Yokozuna but a sidewalk slam and a legdrop make things all better again. Yokozuna misses a charge and like an IDIOT, Virgil tries a rollup. The big man falls on him and it’s BANZAI (middle rope seated senton) for the pin.

Rating: C-. For a big time debut, this could have been better but it’s clear that no one is going to stop this guy for a long time. Yokozuna would get the rocket to the stars push soon, winning the Royal Rumble in two months and the World Title at Wrestlemania in another two months. Virgil was a jobber to the stars here and nothing more, which is all he should have been. Somehow he would keep a job until 1994.

Savage and Perfect brag a lot.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers/Money Inc

The Natural Disasters are Earthquake and Typhoon, formerly known as Tugboat. Money Inc. (IRS and Ted DiBiase) has the Tag Team Titles and are about to fight the Nasty Boys. This is one of those “when one guy gets pinned, both team members are out” deals, so it’s a max of three falls to end this match. We start with Typhoon vs. Blake Beverly and it’s a strut off. Typhoon starts throwing Blake around and puts him in an over the shoulder backbreaker so he can hand him off to Earthquake for a bearhug.

Beau tries to cheat to help his brother but it only results in a double splash from both Disasters in the corner. Off to Knobbs as the fans aren’t interested in this match in the slightest. Knobbs runs Blake over with clotheslines and brings in Jerry who finally allows a tag to Beau. A pumphandle slam puts Beau down but he no sells it for some reason. Off to DiBiase who can’t suplex Sags, so Sags suplexes him.

Off to IRS who Jerry hiptosses down. The limited selling continues as IRS gets up and brings in Beau for a powerslam and it’s off to Beau again. Off to a chinlock from Blake as the Beverlies keep tagging in and out very quickly. Jerry tries a quick sleeper but they wind up slamming heads to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Earthquake and Blake is in trouble. Earthquake takes out all four of them and everything breaks down. For some reason Beau tries a crucifix on Typhoon and gets crushed for his efforts. The Earthquake from Earthquake eliminates the Beverlies and it’s 4-2.

DiBiase comes in to face Earthquake but gets beaten up by all four opponents in short order. Back to Earthquake who misses a splash in the corner and Money Inc double suplexes the fatter man down. IRS gets two off the suplex and picks him up to freak Bobby out again. Back to DiBiase as the fans are all over IRS. IRS chokes away on Earthquake some more and it’s back to DiBiase for some chops.

A middle rope double ax by Ted gets two so here’s IRS again. The champs do tag in and out quite well. Quake clotheslines IRS down and finally makes the hot tag to Typhoon. House is cleaned and a splash crushes IRS. DiBiase trips up Typhoon and IRS gets the easy pin to tie it up, but Jerry runs in and rolls up IRS for the fast pin to win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending kind of sucked. What was the point in having the Nasty Boys beat Money Inc that fast when the majority of the match was about the Disasters vs. Money Inc? The Nasty Boys were basically there to fill in a spot instead of being the focus of the match for their team. Odd indeed but it was entertaining enough.

Virgil warns Bret Hart about Yokozuna. Of course Bret wasn’t in the same room.

We recap Kamala vs. Undertaker. Undertaker beat him at Summerslam so Kamala crushed him with a bunch of splashes to a very limited effect. This set up the Coffin Match tonight, which is a regular match but the winner gets to put the loser in a coffin.

Undertaker is building a special coffin.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala immediately runs from Undertaker and they head to the floor for more not fighting. Back in and Kamala pounds away with almost no effect. Undertaker hits the yet to be named Old School and Kamala is in trouble again. A clothesline sets up some choking by the Dead Man but Kamala chops him to the floor. This is really dull so far. Kamala rams Undertaker head first into the steps and hits him in the back before we head inside. A kick to the chest puts Undertaker down for all of a second. Kamala slams him a bunch of times and three splashes. The urn is knocked into the ring and Undertaker sits up, followed by an urn shot to the head for the pin.

Rating: F. Seriously, that’s it. That’s IT? This is one of the biggest matches on the show and this is all we get? Just a dull match with nothing more than a few shots to the back and a quick ending. This didn’t even make six minutes and Undertaker didn’t even break a sweat in crushing Kamala. Nothing to see here and it was completely worthless, much like Kamala.

Undertaker nails the coffin shut.

Shawn brags about winning the Intercontinental Title a few weeks ago and says he doesn’t need Sherri. Shawn says he beat Davey and Davey beat Bret so Shawn can beat Bret.

Kamala’s managers Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee get Kamala out of the coffin and he’s catatonic. This would lead to the arrival of Giant Gonzalez.

Bret is ready for Shawn. Gene lists off all of the micarders Bret has defended the title against with the idea being that Bret will fight anyone.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn still has the original version of his music as sung by Sherri and this is champion vs. champion, but only one title is on the line. For the sake of clarity, only Bret will be referred to as champion. Feeling out process to start and they hit the mat with Shawn getting in way over his head. Shawn works on the arm and pulls Bret to the mat but Bret nips up. So that’s where Shawn got it from. Bret cranks on the arm and Shawn cranks on the hair. Things speed up and Shawn trips Bret up but it’s right back to the arm. This technical stuff isn’t working for Shawn so far.

Michaels gets to the arm but Bret easily sends him to the floor to escape. Hart takes over on the arm again and Shawn can’t get anything going in the first five minutes or so. A cross body gets two for Bret as does a sunset flip. It’s back to the arm and Shawn is getting frustrated. They hit the ropes and Shawn catches Bret in a hot shot to finally get in some offense. A thumb to the eye puts Bret back in trouble and he charges into the post to make it even worse.

Shawn DDTs the arm as the roles have completely reversed now, although it’s due to evil ways now instead of technical and good ones. See how good psychology can be when it’s done right? Bret’s chest to the buckle spot gets two for Shawn and it’s chinlock time. They fight over a top wristlock but Shawn uses the hair again to pull Bret back to the mat. Bret fights out of the chinlock but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Shawn is one step ahead of Bret in everything the champion is trying right now.

A backbreaker gets another two for Shawn and let’s hit that chinlock again. Shawn ducks his head and a swinging neckbreaker puts him down. It doesn’t last though as cheating by means of a shot to the throat stops Bret again. A front facelock goes on and Bret rams Shawn into the corner with some shoulders to counter. Shawn charges into a boot and a bulldog puts him down. Bret misses a middle rope elbow and both guys are down again.

Michaels connects with a jumping back elbow to the face for two and it’s back to the front facelock. After two arm drops for Bret, he pulls off the fastest small package you’ll see in a long time for two. A suplex by Hart puts both guys down but things start speeding up anyway. Shawn gets sling shotted into the corner and hits the post as is his custom. Bret launches him into the corner and kicks Shawn so hard that Shawn gets crotched on the top rope.

A BIG back body drop gets two on Shawn and Bret is surprised at the kickout. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ and a backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow for the same. Bret superplexes Shawn down but he can’t cover immediately and it only gets two. There’s a sleeper from Hart and the referee gets bumped. That goes absolutely nowhere and he’s up a few seconds later.

Bret tries another sleeper but Shawn sends him to the floor in the exact same way that Bret sent Shawn to the floor earlier in a nice bit of storytelling. Bret gets posted and we head back inside for a whip to the corner for two. The problem here for Shawn is that he doesn’t have a big time finisher as his only big move was a lame suplex. Just as I type that, Shawn superkicks Bret down. It’s not a finisher yet though so he doesn’t even cover.

Bret blocks the tear drop suplex (Shawn’s finisher, basically a high angle belly to back suplex) but the second attempt connects for two. Bret uppercuts Shawn into the ropes but Hart misses a charge and crotches himself on the top. Shawn goes up to the middle rope but he jumps right into the Sharpshooter (in the EXACT same sequence that ended regulation of the Iron Man Match at Wrestlemania XII) for the submission to keep the title on Bret.

Rating: A. It’s Bret vs. Shawn with almost 27 minutes. Were you expecting anything but a scientific war? If you make the superkick a finisher instead of a regular move, there’s no way this isn’t even better. Great match here with both guys trading great psychology the whole way through. Really good main event and a great way to show that Hulk isn’t needed to fire up a crowd as they were all kinds of into this match.

Post match here’s…..Santa Claus? He puts a hat on Bret and it starts snowing in the arena.

Post ending of the show, Bret asks Santa for better competition. Ok then.

Overall Rating: B-. This isn’t a great show but if you have about two hours to kill and a good fast forward button on whatever device you’re using, there are far worse shows you could watch. The main event is great stuff and the tag match isn’t bad either, but it’s better if you know the backstory and watch the build. This was a good show and considering there was no Hogan or Warrior on it, it was a pretty bold yet necessary step for WWF at the time. Good stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

Redo: D

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
Redo: C-

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Dang I must have really grown to hate Kamala since then. Overall it’s roughly the same though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/11/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1992-bret-vs-shawn-at-survivor-series/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This show marks a change of pace from the Survivor Series formula and it was for the better. The fans saw little to no reason to buy a pay per view with nothing on the line, so giving them a traditional main event to look forward to. The rest of the show follows the normal formula though, and thankfully there are no eggs here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Superstars with Savage being tied up in the ropes as Jake made the cobra bite Savage’s arm. Piper immediately ran down from the broadcast booth to try to help. Liz came out screaming as well. This is when Savage was a commentator and retired but looking for reinstatement.

The key thing is he had been scheduled to be on the PPV as a captain against Jake’s team, but because of this, both captains were pulled off the show with three days’ notice as mentioned above. The actual match between the two of them would be a week later on a different PPV called Tuesday in Texas, which was another $20. It felt like a total ripoff because that’s exactly what it was.

Anyway back on Superstars, Savage can’t stand up because of the snake bite but he keeps trying to fight Jake. They finally get Savage on a stretcher and start wheeling him away but he falls off. Now we get to the unintentional comedy. Savage falls off the stretcher and Vince is freaking out on commentary. The camera cuts to a crying child in the crowd and Vince loses it, audibly cracking up on air and trying to talk about “complete chaos” while clearly laughing.

We get the announcement from WWF President Jack Tunney that Savage and Roberts won’t be allowed to wrestle at Survivor Series. This is translated as “HAHA WE GOT YOUR MONEY ALREADY!”

Gorilla and Bobby talk for a bit.

Team Ric Flair vs. Team Roddy Piper

Ric Flair, Ted DiBiase, The Mountie, The Warlord

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Virgil

It’s also back to the simple team names this year. Roddy was Flair’s first feud in the company and not only did you know the matches would be good, but the promos would be awesome too. Bret was feuding with Mountie over the Intercontinental Title, Smith was feuding with Warlord over who was stronger and Virgil was feuding with DiBiase because who else was he going to feud with?

Flair has the REAL World Title with him here, which is censored but if you know your titles, you can see a WWF Tag Team Title, which looks really weird if you’re in the arena (for clarification, the short version is Flair was NWA Champion, left the NWA, wasn’t paid back for the deposit he put down on the belt, brought it to the WWF, got sued, and couldn’t use the title in the angle they were doing anymore so they would substitute in another belt which was censored in storyline.)

Big reaction for Bret, who has finally split from Neidhart and is Intercontinental Champion as of Summerslam. DiBiase starts for his team against Piper, which is a pretty awesome match by itself. No managers are allowed at ringside this year but Sherri is there anyway. Flair sneaks in and blasts Piper in the back to give Ted an early advantage. Piper atomic drops Ted and Sherri comes in to choke him, which somehow isn’t a DQ. Piper kisses her and punches DiBiase to take over.

Sherri is sent to the back and Roddy brings in Smith. The good guys work over the arm of DiBiase with Virgil of all people getting the biggest pop. After all four go in they start going around again with all four getting in another set of shots on the arm. Bret stays in but misses a knee in the corner to put himself in trouble. They trade near falls before Bret takes Ted right back down by the arm.

DiBiase hiptosses him down and wisely tags in Flair. Bret starts with some of his favorite moves before tagging in Davey Boy to slingshot Flair into the corner. Piper wants in but Flair stops the tag. There’s the gorilla press to Flair and the tag to Piper, drawing a BIG pop from the crowd. Piper goes nuts with punches, knocking Flair to the floor for a Flair Flop.

Back inside and it’s off to Warlord who Piper wants to try a test of strength against. Piper is just playing though and brings in Smith for the big power match. Smith hits some shoulder blocks but misses a charge and it’s off to Mountie. Bret tags in and Mountie immediately hits the floor like a cowardly heel should. Instead here’s DiBiase who gets elbowed off the middle rope for two. Ted and Bret hit head to head and both guys are down.

Mountie is willing to get in there now but it’s back to Davey instead. Smith gorilla presses Mountie and pumps him about three times before slamming him down for no cover. Off to Flair who chops away at the Bulldog which doesn’t work at all. DiBiase and Flair try a double team but get double clotheslined instead. There’s the powerslam to Mountie but he’s not legal. Flair comes off the top with a shot to the back of Smith’s head for the pin and the elimination. Both guys were legal too so well done on keeping order.

Piper immediately charges in but Flair tags DiBiase back instead. Flair comes in to face a downed Piper but Ric is put in the Figure Four almost immediately. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Mountie vs. Virgil and Mountie can’t get a tag out from anyone. You know, because everyone is afraid of Virgil. Flair comes in and has zero luck so it’s DiBiase vs. Virgil again. Ted powerslams him down and it’s immediately back to the Warlord.

Virgil gets sent to the floor and Flair whips him into the steps, with Virgil doing an awful job of pretending to slam into them. The Warlord’s full nelson goes on but everything breaks down and Bret comes off the top to take out Warlord, giving the illegal Piper the pin to tie us up at 3-3. It’s Piper vs. DiBiase now before Virgil is quickly tagged in. Virgil slaps the Million Dollar Dream on DiBiase but Ted sends him into the buckle to escape.

Here’s Flair again with a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Mountie. Every remaining heel takes their shots on Virgil in what is likely the best possible option. Flair covers him for two and puts his feet on the ropes because that’s what Flair does. DiBiase comes in and ducks his head, only to get caught by a swinging neckbreaker. There’s the hot tag to Piper who no sells everything Flair throws at him. Everything breaks down and Flair is sent to the floor. That’s important because the referee disqualifies EVERYONE in the ring, but Flair was outside and is the sole survivor.

Rating: B. Gah this was going AWESOME until the pretty lame ending. Having Flair be the sole survivor is a smart move though as it makes the fans hate him even more. This was a GREAT setup though and was on pace to be a classic before the ending. To be fair though, at the pace they were going the match would have been an hour long if they were going to do a full version. Still though, what we got was very good.

Gene is on the platform and brings out Savage to talk about Jake, because we can’t have the match on this show so let’s talk about it instead. Savage talks about being bitten by the snake and being able to see and hear Liz crying, which is the worst thing Jake could do. He promises to be all over Jake like melted butter. Oh man stuff just got REAL. Liz comes out in what is presented as a bigger deal than it should be. As usual, she has nothing to say.

Gorilla thinks Tuesday in Texas may be on TV! I think he might be wrong here.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

Skinner is an alligator wrestler from the Everglades and Berzerker is a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword. A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July, as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik). The rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company.

Kerry looks high as a kite and almost falls off the apron getting into the ring. This is pretty recently after Slaughter’s face turn as he was a heel at Summerslam. This isn’t exactly the most talent laden match ever and the only feud is Slaughter vs. Mustafa due to their recent split.

Tito and Skinner start with Santana taking over with a headlock. There’s the flying forearm out of nowhere and Skinner hits the floor without a cover. Off to Berzerker vs. Tornado, which would work a lot better down in Dallas. Berzerker misses a dropkick and it’s off to Mustafa. After some very brief offense, Kerry tumbles to his corner and brings in Duggan to face Hercules, which took place in the first ever match at Survivor Series.

Duggan gets taken down by double and triple teaming and it’s off to Mustafa. He loads up his curled boots and does nothing with them. Duggan pounds away and backdrops Mustafa down before the hot tag to Slaughter. The big showdown is an atomic drop and a clothesline to Mustafa for the elimination.

Berzerker comes in with some clotheslines and a kick to Slaughter’s fat gut. A boot to Slaughter’s face puts him down and it’s off to Hercules for some two counts. Back to the viking who gets crotched on the top rope and kicked in the legs. Off to Duggan who clotheslines Berzerker to the floor, only to have Berzerker come back in for a backdrop back out to the floor. Tornado comes in and pounds away on him before it’s off to Hercules again.

Tito gets a blind tag and hits a forearm to the back of the head (El Paso Del Muerte) for the pin and the elimination. Skinner comes in as it’s 4-2. I don’t see this going well for Mustafa’s team. A blind tag brings in Slaughter who rolls up Skinner for the elimination. Slaughter whips Berzerker into Duggan’s clothesline for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. The match was awful, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an Intercontinental Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

Here’s Jake to plug Tuesday in Texas some more. To be fair, Jake saying “trust me” in that evil voice of his was amazing. Jake swears he didn’t know that the snake had venom in it still but making Liz cry excited him. God has told Jake that God doesn’t like Okerlund, so let’s blame everyone but Jake. I said he was awesome, not that he made sense. No reptiles are allowed at the match between Savage and Roberts. He wants to kiss Liz and that’s about it.

We recap Hogan vs. Undertaker. Flair confronted Hogan in the Funeral Parlor (Undertaker’s interview segment) and went off on him about hearing about Hogan for years. Now Flair is here and wants to know what Hogan is going to do about it. Hogan pulled off the shirt and Undertaker came out of a standing casket behind Hulk and hit him with the urn. Piper and Savage ran out of the broadcast booth with chairs but Undertaker literally swatted away Savage’s swing. Undertaker rips Hogan’s cross off ala Andre in 87 and leaves.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Undertaker is “undefeated” here, which means overseas tours and house shows don’t count because Tito Santana beat him in Spain and Warrior beat him on a bunch of house shows. Feeling out process to start with no one being able to get a real advantage. Undertaker shoulders Hogan and Hulk regroups a bit while Undertaker reaches to the urn. Back in and Undertaker chokes away in the corner in a shot you see in a lot of his video packages.

Bearer chokes Hogan a bit and Undertaker slams him. A big elbow misses and the place cheers loudly. Hulk pounds away but he can’t put him down. A slam doesn’t work, nor does an elbow to the head. Hogan clotheslines UNdertaker to the floor where the Dead Man lands on his feet and pulls Hogan outside. Back in and Undertaker chokes away some more and Bearer does the same. Undertaker starts smothering him as you can see the Hogan super fan, a guy who dressed up like Hulk (including yellow trunks) sitting in the front row and freaking out.

This hold goes on for a good while, which is just Undertaker having his hand on Hogan’s face and doing nothing else. By long I mean like two and a half minutes. When the whole match is only thirteen minutes, that’s quite the stretch. Hogan comes back with some shoulder blocks that don’t do much, only to haveUndertaker clothesline him down again. There’s the Tombstone but Hogan is up before a cover. He pounds away on Undertaker and knocks him down to one knee which is a very rare sight.

Hogan gets a good slam as Flair is on his way to the ring in his spiffy black and white robs. Hogan takes out Flair with a right hand and big boots Undertaker, only to have Bearer grab his leg. Undertaker loads up the Tombstone as Flair slides in a chair. The piledriver on the chair gives us a new champion and a decisive face pop for the Dead Man. Undertaker holding the title like it’s a coupon for a free coffee at a gas station is a nice touch.

Rating: D. Yeah this match completely sucked but we have a new champion and a reason to watch Flair vs. Hogan, which never happened for various reason. Hogan would beat Undertaker for the title at Tuesday in Texas six days later, but the title would be held up and decided in the Rumble, where Flair would win it and set up Wrestlemania. Bad match, but a BIG moment.

People come out to check on Hogan as Gorilla rips into Flair. Hogan takes a while to leave, likely to let the fans get over some of their shock.

Roddy is in the back and goes on a big rant against Tunney and Flair andUndertaker.

Flair and Perfect say they told us this would happen and now they’ve been proven right. Flair is the REAL World Champion now.

Intermission, which means we see a graphic for fifteen minutes. Seriously, there’s nothing other than a graphic and a countdown clock.

Gene recaps what’s happened so far in case someone ordered the PPV halfway through for some reason.

The Natural Disasters and IRS are ready for the Legion of Doom and Boss Man. That’s the main event. They’re not even hiding the ripping off of the fans anymore.

Legion of Doom and the Boss Man are ready too. Seriously there’s nothing else to say here. They say exactly what you would expect them to say and nothing else. Hawk gets ready to do the WHAT A RUSH line but as he loads it up, Sean interrupts him to say Gene is with Jack Tunney. Hawk gives him a look that would stop a tank and says his catchphrase, then lets Sean throw it to Gene.

Tunney announces Hogan vs. Undertaker II at Tuesday in Texas. He’ll be at ringside as well, driving the boredom levels shoot through the roof, if that’s even possible.

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Nasty Boys, Beverly Brothers

Rockers, Bushwhackers

This is right before the Rockers split and they’re already having issues. This is regular rules, which means individual eliminations and not one loss means both team members are gone. Butch and Knobbs (Brian Knobbs of the Nasty Boys along with Jerry Sags) get things going as Gorilla and Bobby talk about Hogan vs. Undertaker II. Butch hits a running knee lift and it’s off to Luke. Luke and Butch take over on the Nasty Boys with a pair of double clotheslines.

The Beverly Brothers come in and do about as well as Knobbs and Sags with both Brothers taking a Battering Ram. The Rockers double dropkick the Nasty Boys and the good guys have cleared the ring. It’s Shawn vs. Beau Beverly (the other is Blake) now as the announcers debate which guy on either team is the brains. A backbreaker puts Shawn down and it’s back to Knobbs. Luke comes in and avoids a splash in the corner but whacks his arms too much, allowing Knobbs to hit a middle rope clothesline for the elimination.

Off to Shawn vs. Sags with Jerry suplexing him down. Gorilla talks about how tonight will culminate at Tuesday in Texas. Some annoying fan stands up and poses for the camera so the shots keep cutting away a lot. The Rockers work on Sags’ arm before it’s off to Blake. Gorilla somehow can’t tell the Rockers apart, even though they pretty much look nothing alike and have been together for years now.

A superkick puts Blake down but he comes back with knees in the corner. Marty comes off the middle rope and shoves the referee for no apparent reason. It doesn’t go anywhere so I guess it was a mistake. Off to Beau who doesn’t do much other than allow a tag to Butch who cleans house. The Beverlies double team him with a backdrop into a facejam for the pin and the elimination.

It’s Nasty Boys/Beverly Brothers vs. Rockers now with Marty coming in again. Marty monkey flips and hurricanranas Beau down for two as Heenan and Gorilla trade statements of excitement. An enziguri puts Beau down again and it’s off to an armbar. It’s also off to Shawn, who doesn’t do as well as you would expect against one of the Beverly Brothers. Off to Blake who jumps over Beau and lands on Shawn’s back in a move later used by the World’s Greatest Tag Team.

Out of nowhere Shawn grabs a backslide on Beau for the pin to make it 3-1. Sags is in next as Gorilla thinks Marty should reach further for a tag. Even though the Rockers would split less than a month later, it wasn’t clear yet who would have gotten the super push. The Nasty Boys head to the floor and Shawn clotheslines Sags off the apron and superkicks Knobbs down. Back in and Sags takes over again. Marty’s eyes are just gone and he looks awful.

Blake comes in again and gets kicked in the face, allowing for a falling tag to Marty. A big jumping back elbow takes Knobbs down and a snapmare gets two. Knobbs takes Jannetty down again and Heenan talks about Tuesday in Texas. Off to Sags with a powerslam and a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Knobbs. Marty gets his knees up to stop a middle rope splash and there’s the tag to Shawn. Everything breaks down and Marty swings Sags’ feet into Shawn’s face, resulting in Knobbs rolling Michaels up for the pin.

That leaves us with Marty vs. Blake and the Nastys. Shawn freaks out on him before he leaves too to even further tease the tension. Marty starts with Knobbs and hits a middle rope bulldog but Jerry takes him down almost immediately and knocks him to the floor. A powerslam from Blake puts Marty down and the Nastys head to the floor. Jannetty dives on both of them and slams Blake’s face into the mat. Marty hooks a terrible looking small package on Sags but Knobbs rolls them over to give Jerry the final eliminating pin.

Rating: D. Man alive this was a long match. That’s the problem the rest of this show has created: there’s nothing else worth watching for the rest of the night and now they’re just filling in time to say that you’re getting a PPV that means something, when really you need to see the sequel to get the full thing.

Gorilla and Bobby plug Tuesday in Texas again.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the Tag Team Champions and IRS (Irwin R. Schyster, a tax auditor) and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax man getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which wakes the crowd up a bit.

They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Earthquake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.

It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Earthquake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.

Earthquake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. A not very hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Back in and Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.

Hogan won’t talk to the cameras about what happened.

Gene is in the bowels of the building with Bearer and Undertaker. Hogan will rest in peace. In Texas. They look in a casket to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Let’s take a look at what we had on this show: a really good opener, a horrible second match, a bad yet historic third match, a bad fourth match, and a worthless fifth match. This is all interspersed with a bunch of commercials for Tuesday in Texas, which is possibly the biggest bait and switch in company history. This show made me mad because it’s a big flip off to the fans, and that’s not acceptable. Watch the opener and that’s about it.

Ratings Comparison

Team Flair vs. Team Piper

Original: A-

Redo: B

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Original: F

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: C-

Redo: D

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Original: D

Redo: D

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

Redo: D-

A little worse this time, but the same problems still plague this show. Screw you Vince.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1991-here-lies-hogan/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

This is a somewhat different show that in recent years as we have a main event of sorts. It was never tried again and that’s probably the best idea. It’s called the Grand Finale Match of Survival in which the survivors of each team meet in one final Survivor Series match. The winners get absolutely nothing, which continues to prove that these shows are pretty worthless. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show and talks about the Grand Finale. He’s standing in front of a giant egg which apparently is going to hatch because of the heat from the crowd. Nothing good can possibly come from this.

The nifty squares intro theme open things up again.

Gorilla and Piper chat about the show for a bit.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

The Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom

The Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

This is the three man version of Demolition, including Crush. Perfect is feuding with Tornado (Kerry Von Erich, the Intercontinental Champion) and the LOD is feuding with Demolition after the LOD cost them the titles. Warrior, the WWF World Champion, is there because he has nothing else to do save for a minor feud with Perfect. His team is in the back before the match and says they’ll win.

The name Warriors is appropriate as you have the Ultimate Warrior, the Modern Day Warrior (Von Erich’s nickname in WCCW) and the Road Warriors (the LOD’s NWA name). I’ll never understand why the LOD and Demolition never had a big proper match. Perfect immediately goes to the apron and lets part of Demolition start. It’s Animal vs. Smash first in major power battle. They get to the fight immediately with Animal taking him to the mat. Animal throws him into Hawk for a right hand and the other Warriors get in a shot as well.

Smash comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s off to Perfect. That doesn’t last long so here’s Smash again, and he walks right into a powerslam. Everything breaks down and the Warriors clear the ring. Tornado comes in to face Smash who is taking a beating in this so far. Off to Ax who has much better luck for about ten seconds. There’s the Claw from Tornado but for some reason Warrior gets the tag and hits a series of awkward looking shoulder blocks before finishing Ax with the splash.

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash gets in a slam on Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Hawk counters a reversal to send Perfect into the corner but his shoulder goes into the post HARD to give the evil ones the advantage. Demolition pounds away on him but Hawk punches right back. A big flying shoulder puts Smash down and Hawk doesn’t tag when he has the chance. The top rope clothesline kills Smash and everything breaks down. Hawk kicks the referee and somehow this disqualifies not only Hawk but also Animal, Smash and Crush. We’re down to Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado.

It’s going to be Warrior starting the handicap match but Perfect wants Tornado instead. Perfect immediately jumps him and is clotheslined out almost immediately after the jumping. Warrior bangs Perfect’s head into Heenan’s and sends Bobby into the front row. Tornado charges at Perfect and slams into the post to give Perfect the advantage for a bit. A buckle gets exposed somewhere in there and Tornado’s face goes into the steel, setting up the PerfectPlex to make it one on one.

Perfect tries the PerfectPlex again on Warrior which doesn’t work at all. Instead he hammers Warrior down and hits a great looking dropkick for two. Having Perfect run things out there for as long as possible is the best idea they’ve got. Warrior starts grabbing the ropes and shrugging off all the offense from Perfect. A shoulder block and the splash get the final pin for the Ultimate one.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Survivor Series match so far in the four years they’ve been running this show. Not only was the match lopsided from the start, but half of the people in it were gone seven minutes in. Perfect never had a chance and Warrior had no reason to be in this match at all.

Ted DiBiase has a mystery partner for his match. Oh boy does he ever.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine and they’ve been challenging the Hart Foundation for the Tag Team Titles. Dusty and DiBiase are feuding for obvious character reasons. Now we get to the legendary part of the match: the mystery partner. DiBiase gets on the mic and introduces for the first time ever…..THE UNDERTAKER. Who on earth would have imagined what this guy would become over the next twenty two years? Unreal indeed. The look on Undertaker’s face is eerie and he stands there like a zombie to make it even better. Undertaker has his own manager here in the form of Brother Love.

Quick sidebar: the Undertaker is probably the greatest example ever of someone being the only person that could pull off his character. Mark Calaway is PERFECT as the Undertaker with the look and the size and the dead looking eyes and the tattoos and everything like that. Before this he was just Mean Mark Callous in WCW and was a generic big villain. Sometimes it’s about finding what works and Undertaker has worked for a very long time. Also a bit of trivia: he debuted at a Superstars taping three days before this under the name Kane the Undertaker.

Undertaker and Bret start with the newcomer pounding the tar out of Bret. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Undertaker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Undertaker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

Off to Neidhart who can’t move Undertaker in the slightest and gets slammed for trying. Jim looked TERRIFIED and tags out to Koko, who is too stupid to be afraid. Koko misses a charge and clotheslines himself on the top. The Tombstone (I believed named by Gorilla on the spot here) debuts but isn’t exactly the famous version yet, as Undertaker has both of Koko’s legs on one side of his head and covers with the folded arms but from the sides. It looked and sounded great though.

Bret comes in and hammers on Undertaker who just stares at him. Undertaker tags in Valentine and gives one of the most evil glares you’ll ever see at Bret. Off to Dusty who starts gyrating. They chop it out in the corner and it’s off to Neidhart. The Foundation take their turns working over Valentine’s arm but Greg gets a knee up in the corner. Off to Honky who is rapidly on his way out of the company. Bret makes a blind tag to Neidhart who sneaks in and powerslams Honky out.

DiBiase comes in to jump Neidhart but it’s quickly off to Dusty for the big showdown. Dusty tags out to Neidhart quickly but Virgil trips Jim up, allowing DiBiase to clothesline Neidhart for the pin. Here’s Bret again who pounds away on DiBiase and it’s back to Rhodes for more of the same. Back to Undertaker who gets some HEIGHT on a jumping stomp to the back of Dusty’s head.

Undertaker chokes Bret in the corner and somehow shows no emotion while at the same time looking angrier than any wrestler I’ve ever seen. Bret fights the now legal DiBiase out of the corner and it’s off to Dusty. Undertaker comes in, goes up, walks (a little way) down the rope with no one to hold onto, and hits a double ax to eliminate Dusty. Brother Love stomps on Dusty a bit so Dusty chases him off. Undertaker stalks Dusty to the back to get counted out, which is the only thing they could have done with him here.

Back in the ring Bret rolls up Valentine very quickly and it’s DiBiase vs. Hart. Bret pounds on DiBiase and atomic drops him to the floor, followed by a pescado to take Ted out again. DiBiase’s shoulder goes into the post and his head goes into the steps and they head back inside. They slug it out but DiBiase sends him chest first into the buckle to take over.

A quick backslide gets two for Hart and now it’s time for a classic: Bret trips over DiBiase and fakes a knee injury, resulting in a small package for two. Virgil interference messes up and another rollup gets two for Bret. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two for Hart but DiBiase rolls through a cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is a very interesting match as you could see stars being made and stars going away. DiBiase clearly didn’t mean as much as he used to and would shift into a tag team run soon after this. Dusty would be gone in January as would Honky. On the other hand you can see the rise of Bret Hart on the horizon as the crowd was LOSING IT over those near falls at the end. Oh and the Undertaker. That’s kind of a big deal.

The Vipers (Jake Roberts’ team) are ready for Martel’s team. Why they’re in the shower I’m not sure.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

The Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka

The Visionaries: Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Power and Glory are Hercules and Paul Roma. This is built around Martel vs. Roberts, which is based on Martel blinding Jake with cologne and Jake not having full vision yet. This was a BIG feud which they screwed up with a horrible match at Wrestlemania VII. It wasn’t that the wrestling was bad, but that it was a blindfold match and they spent about 2 minutes in contact with each other.

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. Warlord is now out of his Powers of Pain phase and is now shiny and bald. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

It’s Roma instead and Jake picks him apart like he’s not even there. He works on Roma’s arm and brings in Snuka to keep it up, but the afro apparently weighs down Snuka’s brain to the point where he can’t maintain a wristlock. Off to Hercules who gets chopped down so it’s back to Warlord instead. Snuka tries his stuff but when that gets nowhere it’s off to Marty. Jannetty opts for speed but jumps into a great looking powerslam for the pin.

Off to Shawn whose leapfrog is caught but he hurricanranas Warlord down instead. Jake comes in and the fans wants a DDT. A bunch of clotheslines take Warlord down and it’s back to Shawn. Roma comes in with an elbow drop to the back of the head as Gorilla talks anatomy. Warlord comes in and backdrops Shawn before tagging out to Hercules. Martel comes in just as fast and drops a knee for two. Roma sends Shawn into the corner and Shawn of course sells it like he’s dead. Martel’s shoulder hits the post and here’s Snuka again.

A flying headbutt to the standing Martel gets two, but Rick grabs a small package for the pin out of nowhere. Jake comes in again and Martel immediately runs and brings in Hercules. Roberts is getting frustrated because he can’t get his hands on Martel, but he still manages a knee lift and a failed DDT attempt. Jake starts pounding away on Hercules but Martel clotheslines him down instead.

Roma comes in for some stomping but he misses a middle rope punch. There’s the hot tag to Shawn who suplexes Roma down and hits a middle rope elbow for two. Shawn does what he can but Hercules comes in off a blind tag and pounds away even more. Power and Glory hook up the Powerplex (superplex from Hercules immediately followed by a top rope splash from Roma) eliminates Shawn and it’s 4-1. It’s Hercules in first but Jake is in trouble. Warlord comes in with a bearhug but Jake escapes and DDTs him out of nowhere. Jake says screw it and gets the snake out. He chases Martel to the back for the countout loss.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here but other than Jake vs. Martel, there was nothing here at all. To the best of my knowledge, Warlord and Snuka never interacted before or after this so they were just tacked on. The Rockers and Power and Glory had fought at Summerslam but that’s about it. The Visionaries are the first ever team to survive intact.

The Hulkamaniacs are ready for the Natural Disasters. This is a continuation of Hogan vs. Earthquake, with Hulk’s team facing Earthquake and Jimmy Hart’s and Bobby Heenan’s cronies. Hogan says they can go get rid of Sadaam Hussein. Remember that this is during the Gulf War.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Big Boss Man, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan hadn’t pinned Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Boss Man and Bravo are the captains’ friends at the moment and the other four are really just filling in space. Tugboat is a big guy called the Sailing Superstar. You can’t get much lamer than that. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Haku vs. Boss Man. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam eliminates Haku quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbarian misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Earthquake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Earthquake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Earthquake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away, only to get small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY power. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of Earthquake for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Earthquake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Earthquake up. The third attempt results in Earthquake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing.

Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Earthquake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and things don’t look good for the Disasters. Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, but it’s Hulk Up, legdrop and we’re done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

Hogan beats up Heenan post match and poses. Piper cheering for Hogan is just wrong.

Some fans talk and have little to say. Well one fan signs who he likes which is cool.

Here’s Savage with something to say. He’s still the King at this point which has been going on for awhile. Savage doesn’t have a match tonight and he doesn’t like not being recognized as the future WWF World Champion. He promises to take his title back from Warrior and talks about Sherri slapping The Ultimate Chicken a few times. There’s nothing of note here but it reinforced that they have issues. That’s something you never hear today: promos to just remind you that people don’t like each other.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana

Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

This is during the Iraqi Sympathizer period for Slaughter and the idea here is military themed with the other four being a group of international wrestlers banding together to fight Slaughter and company. Before the match, Slaughter tells Gene about having a Thanksgiving dinner with the Mercenaries and not having to be inconvenienced by being in the desert. That’s better than being in the Army and eating K-Rations right? This was a pretty edgy angle at the time. Questionable but edgy. This interview is in the arena with the Mercenaries’ music playing. That must be a pretty dull period for the crowd.

The Bushwhackers torment Boris to start and the flying forearm from Tito eliminates him in about 20 seconds. Sato (half of the Orient Express, along with Tanaka) comes in and is accidentally superkicked by Tanaka. The Battering Ram puts out Sato and it’s 4-2 inside of two minutes. Tanaka comes in and the forearm from Tito makes it 4-1 in less than 2:15. Volkoff pounds on Slaughter with his usual stuff but gets punched in the face for his efforts as Slaughter takes over.

After a long beating, Slaughter eliminates Volkoff with an elbow. There were about three minutes of beating in between there but there was absolutely nothing of note to talk about. The Bushwhackers double team Sarge for a bit but Slaughter beats them down and gutbusts Luke for an elimination. A clothesline takes out Butch about 30 seconds later and it’s one on one.

Tito immediately dropkicks Slaughter into the post and things speed up with by far the two most talented guys in the match in there. Tito hits a top rope forearm for two and stomps away even faster. Piper is trying not to curse and Slaughter slams Santana’s head into the mat. A neckbreaker and backbreaker combine for two on Santana.

After some more beating, Tito gets a quick forearm attempt but hits the referee by mistake. The forearm hits the second time but General Adnan (Slaughter’s manager/boss) hits Santana with the flag and Slaughter puts on the Camel Clutch. The referee saw the flag though and it’s a DQ win for Tito.

Rating: D-. Well that…..happened I guess. They went through seven eliminations inside of eleven minutes and the match was awful. Basically this could have been Slaughter vs. either Volkoff or Santana and gotten the same payoff. I have no idea what they were going for here, but my guess is that they had nothing else to fill in fifteen minutes with (the show only runs two hours and twenty minutes and we’ve got something else to go before the main event).

DiBiase and the Visionaries say Warrior and Hogan (no mention of Santana) can’t work together. Sean says it’s going to be these five against Warrior and Hogan.

It’s time for the Egg Hatching. Gene talks about the fans being hot tonight and the egg starts to hatch. There’s no way around this: it’s the Gobbledygooker, a humanoid turkey who square dances to Turkey in the Straw with Gene Okerlund, does a bunch of flips and is played by the WAY too talented for this Hector Guerrero. The fans IMMEDIATELY start booing when it hatches, as there is absolutely no point to it. This was rumored to be anything from Undertaker to Flair (about a year early for him) to some Playboy Playmate. Total time spent on this: over seven minutes.

Hogan, Warrior and Santana are ready.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase/Visionaries

Oddly enough, Hogan comes out before Tito. Tito and Warlord start and a forearm ends Warlord in less than 30 seconds. Roma immediately powerslams Tito and brings in DiBiase. My goodness a 20 minute Santana vs. DiBiase match would freaking rock. Tito misses another forearm and a hot shot gives DiBiase the pin.

Hogan comes in and beats the tar out of DiBiase for a bit before ducking his head too early. A kick to Hogan’s face slows him down and it’s off to Roma for a top rope forearm for two. Back to Hercules who pounds away on Hulk even more, followed by the same from DiBiase. The Powerplex hits Hogan…..and has basically no effect. Roma is immediately pinned by a clothesline and it’s 3-2.

Martel comes in to beat on Hogan but gets kicked in the face. Off to Warrior who fires off a bunch of kicks in the corner and backdrops Martel. Rick tries to hit him in the head and boy are you really that dumb? Hogan knocks Martel to the floor and Rick walks off for the countout. Hogan beats on DiBiase a bit and there’s the legdrop. Warrior beats Hercules with the splash about 40 seconds later to win.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this? I mean……am I watching a house show? These are the kind of matches you hear about at the end of shows to send the fans home happy, not to main event a PPV. It was clear that this show wasn’t needed and that something had to be done.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show has some moments of ok, but can you imagine PAYING for this show? Undertaker debuts here but no one had any idea what that would mean. Nothing is changed at all, mainly because the company was afraid no one would want to see the house show matches after this.

This show runs two hours and eighteen minutes and nearly eight minutes of that are the Gobbledygooker. On top of that the main event runs about ten minutes in total counting entrances. You’re looking at about two hours for the non main event stuff and that’s ridiculous for a PPV. This is another show that doesn’t need to exist.

Ratings Comparison

Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Original: C-

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Original: F

Redo: D-

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: F

Redo: F

It sucked four years ago and it still sucks now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/09/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1990-title-removed-due-to-anger-issues/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

The WWF was changing gears around this time with the Mega Powers being on top of the company instead of just Hogan. We’re also getting ready for Wrestlemania V, meaning the Mega Powers are already about to explode. Having the title on Savage made things more interesting as Hogan had dominated the belt for so long. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla and Jesse go over the same rules as last year and we’re ready to go.

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Sam Houston, Jim Brunzell, Blue Blazer

Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine

This is fallout from Warrior winning the Intercontinental Title from Honky Tonk Man at Summerslam. Brunzell is subbing for Don Muraco who has left the company at this point, which will be a recurring theme tonight. Valentine and Beefcake starts us off, making it the second year in a row that Beefcake has opened for his team. It’s quickly off to Davis and the sleeper puts him out in less than a minute and a half. Some things never change. Valentine charges right back in to continue the war of the original Dream Team, which I doubt most people would remember at this point.

Greg goes after the legs as is his custom, but since we’re only about three minutes into the match, the Figure Four is broken up. Well to be fair Gorilla and Jesse always said that Valentine doesn’t get warmed up for about ten or fifteen minutes so he’s still looking for his keys to his engine at this point. Off to the Blazer (played by then mostly unknown Owen Hart) who drops an ax handle onto Valentine, giving us the trademark slow fall to the mat.

Valentine goes for the arm (not a hammer lock which takes away the irony of it) but Blazer easily takes him down with a headscissors and brings in Brunzell. The Killer Bees were done as a team by this point so he’s just a guy in trunks. He’s a guy in trunks with a good leapfrog though as he clears Valentine with a lot of room to spare, only to get slammed down. Brunzell pops up and hits the dropkick but it’s off to Bad News.

Brown comes in like the headhunter he’s known as and kills Brunzell with a clothesline. It shouldn’t be a surprise that he’s such a hard hitter as he was a legitimate bronze medalist in Judo in the Olympics. Brunzell tries some basic stuff so Brown kicks him in the chest and beats on him in the corner. Brunzell misses a charge in the corner and the Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) gets the easy pin to tie things up. Brutus comes in and grabs Brown so Houston, one of the least intimidating guys ever, can come off the top with a double ax.

Houston misses a charge in the corner and Brown pounds on him like he stole something. A clothesline takes Houston’s head off and here’s Valentine. Make that Brown again and Valentine accidentally hits Brown. That ticks off Bad News and he walks away from the match. That’s not a face turn but rather Brown just not liking anyone. Houston tries to steal a pin on Valentine but Greg will have none of that.

Off to Bass in a match that took place before in the NWA. A rollup gets two for Houston but he charges into another boot in the corner. That’s a popular move in this match. A middle rope cross body gets two for Sam and a forearm from Bass takes his head off for two. Houston’s monkey flip is countered into a powerslam and he’s gone, thank goodness.

Warrior comes in to fire the crowd up and attacks everyone left on the other team (Valentine, Bass and Honky vs. Warrior, Beefcake and Blazer at the moment). Honky comes in because he’s not that bright and there he goes, flying through the air off a shoulder tackle. Off to Bass who gets slammed down and hit with a Rocket Launcher (assisted top rope splash) from Blazer. Honky comes back in and is cross bodied down immediately. A monkey flip and dropkick have Honky in even more trouble so it’s off to Valentine.

Blazer gets crotched on the head of Valentine during a leapfrog but apparently Blazer has some strong testicular fortitude because he suplexes Valentine down and drops a knee for two. Blazer goes up but Honky shoves him off, sending Blazer down onto his knee. The Figure Four means a quick elimination by Valentine and we’re down to 3-2. Off to Beefcake vs. Valentine and Jesse mentions that these guys were not only a team but Tag Team Champions like it’s an afterthought.

Off to Bass, who also has history with Beefcake but that isn’t mentioned here, despite it happening only three months before this. A headbutt keeps Beefcake down and it’s back to Honky Tonk. His contribution is ramming Beefcake’s head into Bass’ boot and tagging off to Valentine. To be fair he’s a captain and not a ring general. After Warrior charges in like an idiot, it’s back to Honky for Shake Rattle and Roll, but Brutus backdrops out of it to start his comeback.

Back to Bass who hits a top rope clothesline to keep the advantage and brings in Honky who goes up. Beefcake punches him in the ribs because Honky is about as fast as Arn Anderson at going to the top. Beefcake wins a slugout and we get the eternally funny selling of an atomic drop by Honky. There’s the sleeper but Honky Tonk Man dumps them to the floor and they fight to a countout.

This leaves us with Valentine and Bass vs. Ultimate Warrior, which isn’t a fair fight for the pair. A double clothesline puts Warrior down but Valentine can only get two. More double teaming works for a bit but Warrior gets to the ropes and starts shaking. Another double clothesline doesn’t work and an ax handle each gets the two pins to make Warrior the sole survivor.

Rating: C. Not the best match in the world but it was fine for a midcard match. Warrior was insanely over here with the fans loving his over the top style and erupting for his comeback at the end. The rest of it is just ok and there’s nothing wrong with that. This was the right choice for an opener though.

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Powers of Pain, Rockers, British Bulldogs, Hart Foundation, Young Stallions

Demolition, Brain Busters, Bolsheviks, Fabulous Rougeaus, Conquistadors

Now here’s a famous match. Demolition won the Tag Team Titles from Strike Force (currently split up due to an injury) at Wrestlemania and are rapidly becoming faces based purely on fan reactions. They’re with Mr. Fuji here. These are the same rules as last year, meaning if a member of a team is beaten, he and his partner are both gone. Los Conquistadores are masked guys most frequently played by Jose Estrada and Jose Luis Rivera.

British Bulldog starts with Conquistador Uno. It’s quickly off to Jacques who cranks on the arm just like Davey did. Off to Zhukov vs. Shawn and Michaels moonsaults out of the corner ala Daniel Bryan. Marty comes in and the tags are fast and furious like they were last year. Ax comes in to pound on Jannetty and it’s off to Arn Anderson of the Brain Busters. Tully comes in and gets beaten up in the face corner for his efforts.

Jacques is tagged to be the fourth heel in about a minute and a half. Dynamite pounds on Jacques, which is probably the most interesting pairing in the match given their real issues (those teams couldn’t stand each other and had an infamous fight backstage). Jim Powers comes in for about a second before it’s back to Dynamite to face Raymond.

A sunset flip gets two for Dynamite and it’s back to Powers to face Zhukov. Smash comes in and Powers is in trouble. Jacques dropkicks Powers into the corner and here’s Bret to a BIG pop. Bret quickly small packages Raymond to get things down to 5-4. There are still a ton of people on the apron though.

Off to Roma vs. Volkoff with Roma in fast trouble. Pau; comes out of the corner and in an impressive display of athleticism, jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning crossbody for two. Volkoff comes back with a dropkick of his own and it’s off to Smash vs. Neidhart. Jim quickly tags out to Barbarian for the real feud of the match: Powers of Pain vs. Demolition. Smash, still a cowardly heel, brings in Conquistador Dos.

Warlord comes in to pound on Dos and Bret does the same. Ax comes in and kicks Bret down before it’s off to Tully. Bret clotheslines Tully down and from the mat they tag in Shawn (the only time they would team up in history) and Smash respectively. Volkoff and Smash double team Shawn with Nikolai hitting the gorilla press backbreaker. Back to Tully who immediately tags in Arn for the wicked spinebuster for two.

Uno comes in again and slams Shawn down but it’s off to Marty even faster. Back to Volkoff who tosses Marty around with ease. Davey comes in and the power advantage is negated. Nikolai brings in Tully who drops a series of elbows on Davey before it’s off to Dos vs. Warlord. Warlord no sells everything and gorilla presses Dos into a tag to Ax. They slug it out with Ax taking over and handing it off to Smash.

Smash doesn’t do as well and it’s a double team from the Powers to take over on him. Tully comes in with a middle rope elbow to Barbarian but Barbarian clotheslines Blanchard’s head off. Barbarian tags Neidhart for a powerslam on Tully and then it’s quickly off to Dynamite. The tags are even faster this year. Arn slows him down and brings in Uno who brings in Zhukov. Powers gets the tag and backdrops Boris, but Zhukov rolls through a crossbody for the pin out of nowhere to eliminate Powers and the Stallions.

It’s 4-4 now and Shawn comes in with a fist drop for two on Boris. Barbarian and Tully come in but Tully realizes who he’s facing and immediately tags in Nikolai for a funny spot. Ax pounds away on Barbarian and takes over. Off to Nikolai again with nothing of note going on. Shawn comes in to face Zhukov and makes a blind tag to Marty, who sunset flips Boris out of nowhere for the elimination.

Marty rolls up Dos for dos and it’s off to Uno for a BIG backdrop. Ax takes Dos’ place and pounds him down before handing it back to Anderson. Davey gets the tag as does Tully and Blanchard is scared to come in again. I’m not sure why as he whips the again legal Marty into the corner and turns him upside down. Smash comes in and puts on a front facelock but he quickly tags off to Dos. It’s downhill for the bad guys now as the Harts pick apart both Conquistadores, including hitting something similar to the Demolition Decapitator on Uno. Amazingly enough that only gets two.

Shawn dropkicks Uno down and it’s off to Marty with another dropkick for two. Dynamite comes in and there’s the snap suplex. A middle rope kneedrop gets two and Jesse is impressed by Uno’s toughness. Back to Barbarian with a powerslam and a fist drop but he headbutts Uno into the wrong corner Tully gets the tag. On Heenan’s advice, Tully goes right for the eyes and takes over.

Demolition double teams Barbarian and it’s off to a chinlock from Smash. Uno comes back in and is carried to the corner by Barbarian, but Ax makes the save and puts the chinlock on again. The Brainbusters come in for some offense but Arn puts his head down and gets kicked in the face. Off to Jannetty with a jumping back elbow and it’s time for more Neidhart. Jim immediately does the same thing Anderson did and gets kicked in the face for his efforts.

Blanchard can’t suplex Neidhart and it’s off to Bret. Bret pounds away in the corner and the Canadian tries a German on the American, but only Blanchard gets his shoulder up and Bret is pinned. It’s now Demolition, Los Conquistadores and the Brainbusters vs. the Powers of Pain, the British Bulldogs and the Rockers. The Bulldogs beat up Tully and it’s off to Shawn. The Busters double team Shawn, drawing in Marty for a four man brawl. Both referees come in and both teams are disqualified and eliminated. It’s down to two teams apiece.

The four eliminated guys brawl to the back as Smash puts a chinlock on Dynamite. Off to Dos with a knee to the ribs, followed by Uno with a top rope forearm. Uno misses a kind of Swanton and it’s off to Warlord with a gutwrench slam. Barbarian comes in with the Kick of Fear followed by the delayed vertical suplex from Davey. Ax comes in for a power showdown with Davey.

Dynamite comes in and clotheslines Ax down before bringing in Davey to hit the gorilla press and powerslam on Dos. Barbarian hits a backbreaker to knock Dos into the corner for another tag, this time to Ax again. The Conquistadores take over on Barbarian which isn’t something you say all that often. Dynamite gets a tag because Barbarian only has to fight off Uno.

Warlord gets a quick tag in and drops a leg but doesn’t cover, much to Jesse and Gorilla’s dismay. Dynamite comes in and ducks his head, allowing Uno to tag out AGAIN. Smash charges into a boot and there’s the snap suplex. The Swan Dive misses and a basic clothesline pins Dynamite, getting us down to three teams. That would be it for the Bulldogs as a team in America, mainly due to the medical issues of Dynamite and some real life backstage fights with the Rougeaus. Smash and both masked men work over Barbarian in the corner but he easily powers over to Warlord.

Warlord misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first and it’s time for Ax to pound away. Off to Smash who stays on the arm as Fuji gets on the apron. Off to Dos and then Uno with a top rope shot to the shoulder. Fuji is back on the floor now and Ax is in, cranking on the arm some more.

Fuji gets back on the apron and Warlord makes a comeback, only to be clotheslined down again by Smash. Fuji pulls down the top rope as Smash hits the ropes, sending him out to the floor. Remember that Fuji is Demolition’s manager. Demolition gets counted out and we’re down to one team apiece. Ax goes off on Fuji and Fuji hits him with the cane, only to get laid out with a slam.

Demolition leaves Fuji laying as we’ve got the Powers of Pain vs. Los Conquistadores. They have a standoff until the Powers go out and help Fuji to his feet. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the ultra rare double turn. Back in the ring, Dos comes in to pound on Barbarian and it’s off to Uno. Fuji trips Uno and a headbutt from Barbarian gets the pin to win the match.

Rating: A. What a great match this was. It had EVERY tag team you could want to see in one match as well as a major move at the end with Demolition turning face. You had mini-stories in the match itself which is always a nice touch, with teams having short matches against each other. It’s even more telling that this match was five minutes longer than last year’s tag team match and still flew by.

The Powers put Fuji on their shoulders post match. Demolition runs in and cleans house.

Bad News says he’s a loner no matter what and that he wants the World Title.

Warrior says he can’t breathe properly because of the power stuffed down his throat.

Fuji says he made Demolition and now he’s going to break them.

Heenan says his team will win.

The Mega Powers are ready and Hogan wants Boss Man.

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Jake Roberts, Ken Patera, Jim Duggan, Scott Casey, Tito Santana

Andre the Giant, Rick Rude, Dino Bravo, Mr. Perfect, Harley Race

Casey is a lower card guy who is here because B. Brian Blair left the company. Blair was on the team because JYD left, so Casey is the third string guy. Rude and Patera start things off. This would be around the time when Gorilla suggested that Patera retire because he wasn’t any good anymore, so you can tell what kind of stuff we’re about to get. Rude gets thrown around a bit and it’s off to Bravo, as Gorilla implies his matches against Patera made him retire.

Bravo bangs on Patera a bit before it’s off to Perfect (called Curt Hennig as well here) with a double ax off the top. Patera shrugs it off and drags Hennig over to hand him off to Roberts. Jake works on the arm as he was known to do before bringing in Santana. Tito and Hennig have as good of a match as you would expect them to have with Tito getting the better of it, only to miss a charge in the corner. Hennig elbows him down and it’s off to Bravo again.

Back to Roberts who hits Bravo once and then brings in Casey to slow things down. A monkey flip doesn’t work for him and now he gets his first real opponent on PPV: Harley Race. Race beats up Casey like the veteran that he is and Casey just has no answer for any of this offense. Rude comes in again and it’s time for everyone to get their shots in on Casey.

Hennig headbutts him and hurts himself in the process. Back to Tito as the match speeds up all of a sudden. Patera helps with a double elbow to Perfect and it’s off to Duggan to fire up the crowd again. Hennig tries various things to Duggan’s head which don’t work at all. Back to Casey again, even though he hasn’t had a ton of success so far. Casey misses a charge and it’s off to Tito For a cross body. Duggan comes in and beats up Hennig as well but he misses an elbow. Duggan and Hennig hit heads and it’s off to Rude vs. Patera. Patera throws Rude around but misses a charge and gets Awakened for the first elimination.

Casey tries to come in and jump Rude, only to be sent into the heel corner and beaten up even worse than before. Off to Race who hits a good dropkick all things considered before bringing Bravo back in for the side suplex and it’s 5-3. It’s back to the bread and butter of this match with Perfect vs. Tito…the latter of whom immediately tags out and brings Duggan back in.

Hennig kicks Duggan in the face which he sells for some reason, but the punches that follow aren’t sold and Duggan gets all fired up. Duggan, ever the lunkhead though, gets fired up near Andre who chokes him down immediately. Back to Hennig for a second and then Rude comes in for his offensive contribution. Duggan finally clotheslines Rick down and it’s a double tag for Tito and Race.

Since Race is an experienced veteran, he moves aside of a charging Tito and slams Tito’s head into Andre’s. Dino comes in again but misses a charge into the corner and gets sunset flipped for two. Back to Race for the piledriver for two and he whips Tito in, only to get forearmed out of nowhere for the quick elimination, making it 4-3. Andre climbs in, grabs Tito, chokes him a bit and sits on his chest. For reasons that no one could figure out, Tito tries a freaking sunset flip. Pain immediately comes to his chest and Andre makes it 4-2 (Andre, Dino, Rude, Hennig vs. Duggan and Roberts).

Duggan comes in and clotheslines Andre into the ropes, where he and Jake both get in some open shots on the Giant. Jake chokes away but Andre gets his arms free. Andre tags out after getting beaten up that badly and brings in Rude. Rude whips Jake into the buckle a few times as we hear about the Cheryl Roberts story. At the time, Rude would pick a woman from the crowd to kiss. One time the woman wasn’t interested because she was married…..to Jake Roberts. A feud started quickly but is mostly done by this point.

Off to Hennig with some chops and Andre kicks a bit from the apron because that’s what evil giants do. Hennig slingshots Duggan throat first into the bottom rope so Andre can choke a bit more. Bravo comes in but gets beaten on by a suddenly fired up Roberts. The short clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Rude leans in to break it up. Rick comes in legally now and stomps away like he’s still in Memphis, which means very slowly with a lot of playing to the crowd in between.

Dino piledrives Jake for two but an elbow drop misses and here’s Hacksaw again. Duggan sends him into the corner and literally throws him out before clotheslining him down. The Three Point Clothesline is loaded up but Frenchy Martin, Bravo’s manager, hooks Duggan’s foot. Bravo slams Duggan on the floor so Duggan hits Bravo with the 2×4 for the DQ, leaving Roberts alone 3-1. Bravo manages to get a tag to Hennig before Jake can pin him so Roberts punches Perfect instead.

The DDT is loaded up but Perfect makes the corner and it’s off to Dino again. Jake, not the brightest guy at times, tries a test of strength with a guy billed as the world’s strongest man. When that doesn’t work Jake tries another DDT but gets backdropped this time instead. Back to Rude and Jake heads to the floor to think. Well he is considered a master of psychology so thinking is what he does.

Back in and Rude takes over again, hitting a gutbuster on the Snake, which doesn’t work all that well in the real world in theory. Off to a bearhug but Jake quickly thumbs him in the eye. Rude hits a top rope punch and swivels the hips a bit, only to have his tights pulled down and DDTed for the elimination. Andre comes in and hammers Jake before choking him in the corner….for a DQ. It’s two on one which means nothing as Hennig immediately covers Jake for the pin and the final elimination.

Rating: C-. The lower half of the people in this match being pretty weak really hurts it. Other than Jake, Andre and Duggan, at this point most of these guys didn’t mean much. Rude was on his way up but he was still a glorified midcard guy here. Just not a very interesting match and it definitely didn’t need to go half an hour.

Jake puts the snake in post match but Andre is gone before it can get to him.

Andre says he said he would win and he did. He is NOT afraid of snakes though.

Jake says that he’ll take care of business with Damien. Next year, he’ll get his revenge.

The Twin Towers’ team is all ready.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules

Big Boss Man, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku

Savage is World Champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. Aside from the four captains, the main feud is DiBiase vs. Hercules. DiBiase had purchased Hercules from his manager Bobby Heenan, which Hercules said made him feel like a slave. He attacked DiBiase, turning face in the process.

It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off. They knock each other down with DiBiase taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who gets the Red Rooster instead of DiBiase. Rooster doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top and is still attempting to do so here. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Rooster and it’s Akeem (formerly the One Man Gang) in off the tag.

Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Hercules. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.

Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle but, you see, Koko has a hard head so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow to Rooster and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Boss Man’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!

Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Hercules. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s back to Akeem. A splash misses and here’s Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Hillbilly. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.

Back to the World Champion with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick that only sends Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.

Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Boss Man, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.

Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.

Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something resembling a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts to the back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s Haku again with a suplex to Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.

The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick (Boss Man and Akeem’s manager) trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.

Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Twin Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself. It’s Hogan winning with the big boot and legdrop in case you’re not familiar.

Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers exploding as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.

Liz hugs Hogan post match and you can see Savage getting madder and madder. See, the key to the old feuds is you see the things happen and THEN you get the turn, rather than getting the turn and then the explanation. In other words, it wasn’t all about shock.

Overall Rating: B. It’s definitely not as good as last year’s, but in this case you should check out the full version instead of the clipped one, because the clipped one shaves off like an hour of it and the interviews are different as well. The matches are much more hit and miss here, but thankfully they’ll tweak things a bit next year by going with four man teams and shorter matches, which does a lot of good for the pacing of the show. Also, did we really need guys like Koko B. Ware and Red Rooster in the main event? Really? Anyway, not a terrible show (the clipped version is a terrible tape) but certainly not as good as last year’s.

Ratings Comparison

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: D

Redo: C

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Original: A

Redo: A

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Original: F

Redo: C-

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: B

I’ve heard of getting better with age but this is a big change. I guess I’ve really grown to appreciate late 80s WWF more than I thought.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/07/history-of-surivor-series-count-up-1988-more-clips-than-my-last-haircut/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main story here is Brock Lesnar is back, having returned the night after Wrestlemania to start a feud with John Cena. That feud lasted for a month before Lesnar started going after HHH. It wasn’t until three months later, as in tonight, that they’re having their showdown. Other than that we have Punk defending the title against Big Show and Cena and Sheamus defending against Del Rio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

The opening video talks about the twenty five years of Summerslam, meaning we’ll have to hear about how this is the 25^th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.

Jerry and Cole’s intro is cut off by Vickie’s screeching intro of Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Dolph is Mr. MITB here and Jericho is freshly face after Ziggler accused him of going soft. Jericho has taped up ribs from an attack at Ziggler’s hands. The fans LOVE Chris and things start fast with the Canadian hitting the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Jericho slips out of the corner on a spinning clothesline but Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Dolph stays on the ribs for a quick two but gets backdropped out to the floor.

Chris’ springboard dive misses as Ziggler casually ducks, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Ziggler hooks on a chinlock with a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs. A knee to the head gets two for Dolph and a neckbreaker, complete with hip swivel and ARROGANT COVER, gets two more.

Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.

Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.

They slug it out with Jericho taking him down via the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. The Zig Zag gets two but Dolph can’t follow up. Instead he walks into the Codebreaker to send him to the floor. Jericho throws him in but gets tripped up by Vickie, allowing Ziggler to roll him up for two. Dolph misses a charge into the post and the Walls go on for the submission.

Rating: C+. The idea here was that Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore. The problem here though is they would have a rematch tomorrow night with Jericho’s contract and Dolph’s case on the line. Why they didn’t have that match here is anyone’s guess but at least it was a good opener and the fans popped for the ending. They had some Shelton vs. HBK from 2005 in there with Jericho fighting a younger version of himself but using his maturity and experience to get the win.

Vickie freaks out over the loss.

We recap Brock breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw.

Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

It’s amazing that this team started less than a year ago. The fans are already chanting YES and Bryan says NO. It’s amazing how a chant this simple carried Bryan so far. This was set up by GM AJ as revenge against Bryan for jilting her or something. Bryan fires off kicks to start but walks into an uppercut to knock him back. Daniel moonsaults over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the face to put him down. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but the fans are all behind Daniel.

Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.

Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good match here and you could see the anger management stuff coming. Kane had Bryan beat but wanted revenge and let Bryan catch him off guard. These two obviously had chemistry together and the story would be a big boost to Kane’s career. Also the original idea here was Bryan vs. Charlie Sheen somehow. Thankfully that was never mentioned again.

Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and Mysterio is dressed like Batman. Rey grabs a quick rollup for two and the champion bails to the floor for a bit. AJ has promised to deal with Kane for attacking Matthews tomorrow on Raw. Miz throws Mysterio through the ropes to the floor but Rey rolls through to avoid pain. The champion sends him ribs first into the barricade to take over as this isn’t doing much for me so far.

Miz pulls on Rey’s face and puts on a chinlock before hitting something resembling Abyss’ Shock Treatment (torture rack backbreaker) for two. A boot to Rey’s head gets two and it’s off to a cravate for a bit. Miz hits the corner clothesline but spends too much time laughing at the crowd, allowing Rey to crotch him on the top.

Rey’s seated senton is rolled through into a slingshot sitout powerbomb for two from Miz. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for the same result and a top rope hurricanrana sends Miz into the 619 position. The kick to the face connects but Rey misses the top rope splash. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a cradle for a hot two count. A second attempt at the Finale works though to retain Miz’s title.

Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going but it had a few nice moments at the end. Both of these guys fell so far in just a year as both guys were fighting for the world title just a year ago. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do much for me. It was one of those matches that came and went and I won’t think about it again an hour from now.

Teddy Long and Eve, the bosses of Smackdown, leave AJ’s office and seem to approve of what she’s doing. They leave and Punk goes in to find a smiling AJ. Punk doesn’t like the idea of being in a triple threat for the title tonight and thinks it’s happening as revenge for him rejecting AJ’s proposal. AJ just stares off into space and Punk accuses her of disrespecting him but she doesn’t move an inch.

We recap Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. These two feuded FOREVER and Del Rio never did much of anything. He complained about Sheamus not being high class so Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car. Fake cops beat up Sheamus and that’s about it. It’s as boring of a feud as it sounds.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys tumbling out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus hits a quick neckbreaker and the rolling senton for two each. Sheamus puts him on the top rope for a belly to back superplex but Alberto gets onto Sheamus’ shoulder to escape. The buckle pad is pulled off in the process. Del Rio can’t hook the armbreaker so he kicks Sheamus out to the floor instead. Sheamus is sent knee first into the steps as the crowd is DEAD.

Back in and Del Rio hits a flying shoulder block for two before hooking the chinlock. A kick to the head gets two on the champion and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ chest pounding before the Brogue Kick, only to have Sheamus ax handle him in the head. Sheamus goes up but a kick to the let puts him down again. A kick to the arm gets two for Alberto and the armbreaker goes on, FINALLY waking the fans up.

Sheamus of course is barely phased by it and rolls onto Del Rio to break the pressure. He picks Alberto up into a kind of powerbomb to break the hold, earning himself a chant from the crowd. White Noise gets two and Sheamus avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus pounds down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle. The enziguri in the corner is good for two so Del Rio yells at Ricardo. Rodriguez throws in a shoe but Sheamus intercepts it to knock Ricardo out cold. The Irish Curse hits for the pin, ignoring Del Rio’s foot being on the rope. REMATCH!

Rating: D+. The match was decent but it never felt like Sheamus was in any real danger. The drop onto the exposed buckle and the enziguri got a near fall, but it didn’t feel like a close near fall; It felt like it was there because this is where we’re supposed to have a dramatic kick out if that makes sense. It’s not bad but this feud didn’t need to continue at all.

We hear about Mike Tyson and Piers Morgan having a Twitter war over the main event. I’ve got nothing.

We get a clip from the pre show where HHH tells the referee that the match isn’t ending on a countout or a DQ.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

I don’t remember Kofi and Truth being champions AT ALL. Truth and Young get us going as the fans chant Kobe Bryant, referencing the joke that got AW fires. Young is taken down by an armdrag and a legdrop gets two for Truth. Truth has to fight out of the corner but gets caught in the face by a big boot for two. Back up and Truth hits a great side kick to take Titus’ head off and get himself a breather. Off to Kofi to speed things up as the crowd still isn’t all that interested.

Kofi chops O’Neil down but a Young distraction lets the challengers take over. Titus clotheslines Kofi down for two before suplexing Young onto Kofi’s back for two. A snap powerslam gets the same for Darren and it’s back to Titus for an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Titus loads up a spinout Rock Bottom, only to be pulled dowin into a DDT. Hot tag brings in Truth to clean house and everything breaks down. Titus is sent to the floor and caught by a Kofi dive, allowing Truth to hit Little Jimmy on Darren to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.

Video on Summerslam Axxess.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 28 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.

Punk’s complaints about how the title should be the focus and how he wasn’t getting respect are why his heel turn didn’t go well: those are logical points and heels aren’t supposed to be logical. WWE failing to get this is the source of a lot of their problems. Heels are supposed to be bullies or maniacal in their delusions, not making thought out rational points.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Show knocks down both smaller guys as Cole talks about Punk not main eventing a show since December despite holding the title the entire time. Good point actually. The LOUD chop hits both Cena and Punk’s chests twice each with Big Show in total control. They finally work together but Show easily suplexes them both down. Cena is crushed in the corner, knocking him out to the floor so it’s Punk vs. Show one on one.

Punk wisely takes out the knee and fires off kicks to the chest as the fans are entirely behind him. The smart moves are canceled out though as Punk tries a GTS with the obvious result. Cena tries an AA but the powers of gravity take him down to the mat, crushing Cena’s head against the mat. Show chops Punk down in the corner and knocks Cena out to the floor. Punk avoids a splash but tries a springboard cross body like a schnook, earning that powerslam he gets.

The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?

Cena actually hits a belly to back suplex on Show and loads up the Shuffle, only to have Punk charge in for the save. The champion drops the Macho Elbow for two on Show but gets launched away. Since covering hasn’t worked, Punk puts on a modified Koji Clutch but Show easily powers out. The crowd has DIED for some reason. Cena comes back in and shoulders Show down, bringing them right back to life.

There’s the STF on Show but the big man stands up to break the hold. Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline to take Show down again, followed by three straight knees to the head in the corner. The bulldog is easily countered (of course) but Cena hits the top rope Fameasser to put the giant down.

We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The match was ok with the logical story but it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. The restart was pretty dumb as well as Big Show shouldn’t have had a chance to win the title after tapping out. Cena vs. Punk would continue for months which would make for some great matches, but this wasn’t anything special. Not bad at all though.

Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.

Trailer for whatever WWE’s latest movie is at the point. The Day. Ok then.

We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.

Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.

We recap the main event. Basically Lesnar tried to hold the company hostage by renaming Raw to Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. HHH stood up to him and got a broken arm as a result. Brock broke Shawn Michaels’ arm as well to make it a domestic issue for HHH. This was one of those feuds that people weren’t all that thrilled to see but it could have been worse. More on that later.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.

Brock comes back in and takes the MMA gloves off before taking HHH down to the mat with an amateur move. They head outside with HHH shrugging off Brock’s attacks and pounding away, only to be dropped arm first onto the announce table. Lesnar eventually drags HHH back in for a hammerlock slam. Back to the standing kimura with Brock wrapping the arm around the ropes and ramming it into the corner.

A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.

Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.

The spinebuster puts Brock down and there’s the Pedigree for two. A low blow puts HHH down and Heyman screams that this was HHH’s idea. The F5 is good for two and Brock is stunned. I have no idea why, as you know you can’t get a win off one finisher in WWE. Now the kimura goes on again with a bodyscissors but a rope break means nothing. Instead HHH pretty easily punches his way out of it and hits another Pedigree. Thankfully Brock no sells it and puts on the kimura, breaking the arm again and drawing the submission.

Rating: C+. The match is ok but it has one major flaw: it’s BORING. You don’t bring in Brock Lesnar to have him go toe to toe with HHH. You bring him in to have him destroy small cities and eat villagers. That’s the issue here. We went from Cena surviving against an insane Brock Lesnar to HHH having Brock in trouble in a dull match. Lesnar didn’t seem insane here at all and it made for a much less interesting match. Also, Cena won with a Hail Mary shot, where as HHH can slug it out with Lesnar? That just doesn’t hold up at all. Somehow this would be the high point, as this feud went on another TEN MONTHS.

Naturally HHH gets the big heroic stand up in the ring, but instead of people giving him a standing ovation they tell him that he tapped out. HHH stands there until people finally applaud him. He apologizes to the fans and slowly walks out. I guess this is supposed to be like Austin at Wrestlemania 13 but it’s just failing. The speculation is that HHH is leaving for good. If you bought that, raise your hand to show how gullible you are.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as most of the matches are ok but nothing goes beyond that level. Most of this show would be classified as ok at best and uninteresting at worst. It’s just kind of there with nothing memorable other than HHH DEMANDING to give us his moment at the end. Nothing to see here and not worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Original: D

Redo: D+

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Prime Time Players

Original: C

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C-

It’s still boring.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/19/summerslam-2012-lesnar-is-a-wrestler-again-just-like-everyone-else/

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We wrap things up with this and a main event which no one ever thought we would see: John Cena vs. The Rock. This is one of if not the only match ever that I had to see. I didn’t know if it would be good or bad, but I needed to see it. The match was announced the night after the last Wrestlemania and was literally built for a year. On the undercard we have Punk vs. Jericho for the world title, Sheamus vs. Bryan for the other title and HHH vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. When that is a DISTANT second match, you know you’ve got something huge. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is about how Cena and Rock’s lives have both built up to this moment and how this match is Once In A Lifetime. Oh and HHH vs. Undertaker is happening too.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus won the Rumble to earn this show. We’re pre-beard for Bryan here which is weird to see anymore. The bell rings, Bryan kisses his girlfriend AJ, turns around into a Brogue Kick and we have a new champion in 18 seconds. That number would haunt Bryan for at least six months.

Team Johnny is fired up for the twelve man tag for later tonight. Miz brags about being in the main event last year but it’s Otunga who gets them to be quiet for a pep talk from Johnny Ace.

Win tickets to Wrestlemania 29!

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane had recently put the mask back on again and went after Orton to prove that he’s still evil because last summer he lost a street fight to Orton and then shook his hand. Why is it Orton who gets these months and years long backstories? The opener didn’t quite have its intended effect as the fans are chanting for Daniel Bryan. Kane takes over to start but the chokeslam is broken up by kicks to the ribs. Orton gets him down and stomps away but Kane reverses the Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by Cole) and takes over with a big boot.

Kane’s low dropkick gets a near fall and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and they slug it out with Randy taking over. Kane will have none of that though and clotheslines Randy down for two. The side slam gets two more and it’s back to the chinlock. A swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere puts Kane down but the monster hits a vertical suplex for another two count. Off to chinlock #3 as the match slows down again.

Orton backflips out of another side slam and his backbreaker puts Kane down for a bit. There’s the powerslam and Orton is getting fired up. Kane goes shoulder first into the post and now the Elevated DDT hits (again called a bulldog by Cole). The RKO is countered into a big boot for two more for Kane but the top rope clothesline is blocked by a dropkick. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a chokeslam for a close two. Another RKO is countered and Kane goes to the middle rope. Orton tries a superplex but Kane shrugs him off and hits a middle rope chokeslam for the upset win.

Rating: B-. I had always wanted to see these two have a match and I was pleased when I finally saw it. Kane can have a good match on a big stage when he needs to and that’s what he did here. Orton is bulletproof so it’s not like losing here means anything of note. This was a nice surprise and a good match with a big ending.

Santino is with Mick Foley in a sailor hat and a guy from the fishing show Deadliest Catch. They’re eating crabs and Foley makes bad pirate jokes. Socko and Cobra make appearances, as does Ron Simmons and I think you can get the joke from here.

Some National Guard people are here.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Cody is defending and the idea here is that Big Show has never had a good Wrestlemania moment. You know, because winning a meaningless midcard title in 2012 is more important than main eventing the show in possibly the biggest and best year the company has ever had. During the entrance we get some “highlights” from Show’s career. Naturally the pin in the 8 man tag last year is never mentioned at all.

Cody runs to the floor to start but Show easily throws him back into the ring. There’s a beal across the ring and a hard chop in the corner, followed by a Stink Face for good measure. Cody comes back with some dropkicks to the knee and pounds away as much as he can. Rhodes pounds on Show’s back a bit and is LAUNCHED off on the kickout. The champion works on the knee a bit with a standing leg lock and a DDT to take it down. After some stomps to Show’s head, he shoves Cody away with ease but gets caught by the Disaster Kick. A second is countered with a spear though and the WMD makes Show the champion.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Cody has nothing that was going to keep Show down and with all the building up of the match about Show’s past embarrassments, there was only one way this could end. That and it’s only about five minutes so it didn’t have enough time to suck or anything. Not great but it was exactly what it was expect to be.

Video on what it means to be a Diva.

We recap the Divas tag. Kelly Kelly had been a guest on Extra with Maria Menunos when Eve and Beth came in and claimed they should be the guests. A tag match was made.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly

Beth has….wings on her head? Kelly and the freshly heel Eve start things off with Kelly doing her screaming hurricanrana to take over. A handspring elbow hits Eve’s knee in the corner but Kelly breaks up a moonsault and knocks Eve into the Tree of Woe. Off to Maria for a double Stink Face, resulting in the famous stain on the back of Maria’s tights from Eve’s makeup.

Since Maria isn’t a wrestler, the beatdown on her begins quickly with Eve wrapping her up in a body vice. Off to Beth (in gold tonight) for a side bearhug as the match slows WAY down. Back to Eve for some quick double teaming but she takes too long with the shaky moonsault. It’s back to Kelly as things break down a bit. A top rope seated senton gets two on Beth and the Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog. Back to Maria who goes….up. After getting pulled down, Kelly breaks up a gorilla press and a rollup is enough for Maria to pin Beth.

Rating: D+. Four good looking women in tight outfits and one of them anchors a national television show. Do you really need a further explanation as to why this happened? The interesting note: of these four, Maria is the only one involved with Wrestlemania 29 and that’s as a Hall of Fame inductor.

Shawn Michaels, the guest referee inside the Cell, says either the Undertaker or HHH are done tonight.

New attendance record. As always.

Jim Ross comes out to do commentary for the Cell match.

HHH vs. Undertaker

This is inside Hell in a Cell with Shawn Michaels as guest referee. Undertaker basically became Batman in his cave and wanted a rematch to prove he could beat HHH. As in like he already did. This is also billed as End of an Era, but what era that was never actually became clear. The announcement of the Cell was perfect as HHH said he wanted one more thing, which was presumed to be Streak vs. career. It’s a good lesson in letting the feud set the stipulations, not the calendar. Undertaker debuts his new mohawk here to a gasp from the crowd. The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica.

Taker pounds away into the corner to start with “carcinogenic” right hands according to JR. HHH pounds away as well but gets thrown out to the floor soon thereafter. HHH is sent into the Cell a few times and a backdrop puts him down on the floor again. Taker sends him into the steel over and over as it’s one sided so far. Now it’s the steps instead of the Cell with Taker in full control. Back in and a facebuster is no sold and down goes HHH again.

Old School connects and we head back outside again. Shawn isn’t a factor yet. The steps go upside HHH’s head and set up the apron legdrop. Back in and HHH hits a DDT, which somehow makes us completely even. The steps are in the ring now so HHH slams Taker’s head into them a few times. A Pedigree onto the steps is blocked with a backdrop but HHH comes back with a spinebuster onto the steps, only to get caught in the Hell’s Gate. In an impressive power display, HHH lifts Taker up into a powerbomb to break the hold and get two as well.

HHH throws in a pair of chairs and cracks one of them over Taker’s back. Taker is whipped into the steps in the corner before they’re sent to the outside. JR says there are no laws in the Cell. Other than you win by pin or submission and all that. HHH goes off with the chair, DESTROYING Undertaker Austin/Rock style. Shawn takes the chair away and tells HHH to cover Undertaker because he’s not going to quit. Trips takes the chair back and shoves Shawn down before pounding on Taker even more. He tells Shawn to end it before he does.

Taker says do not stop it as he’s getting back up. He turns around though and is hit in the ribs and back by the chair but it only gets two. HHH is starting to get frustrated so he hits Taker in the back with another chair and it’s time for more pathos with Taker saying don’t stop it. Cue the sledgehammer for a shot to the head for ANOTHER two. HHH (who is cut over the eye) has no idea what to do now.

The Game pulls up the hammer to slam it down onto Taker’s head but Shawn pulls it away to prevent the murder. Shawn is ready to stop it as Taker can barely move. Michaels raises his hand but Taker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate to stop him. Trips breaks it up with a hammer shot but Taker comes back with a low blow and Hell’s Gate on HHH. There’s no referee though and Taker lets it go from exhaustion with his opponent out cold.

Another referee comes in as Taker hits a last effort chokeslam for two. Taker chokeslams the referee (I believe that’s the same referee he beat up in 2001 against HHH as well) but walks into the superkick into the Pedigree…..FOR TWO! I lost my mind watching that live because I really thought it was over. Now HHH shoves Shawn to the floor and Taker sits up to scare the life out of HHH. Taker erupts on HHH with a big boot and running clothesline, setting up snake eyes and another boot.

The Tombstone connects but HHH is up at two. Shawn has no idea what to do as both guys are slowly getting up. They slug it out from their knees before getting to their feet for more HARD punches. Another Tombstone is countered into the Pedigree for a VERY close two. HHH goes for the hammer but Taker steps on it to stop him. A HARD chair shot to the back puts HHH down and another one keeps him down.

Some more chair shots get two on HHH so Shawn screams at them to end this. HHH tries a hammer shot to the face but Taker easily blocks it. They stare each other down and HHH gives Taker a crotch chop. Trips walks out of the corner into a hammer shot to the head. HHH tries to climb up Taker’s body but the strap comes down, the throat is slit, and the Tombstone makes it 20-0.

Rating: A+. This is another reason why I’m not so wild on last year’s match: they’re capable of SO much better and this is proof. This match told a great story with both guys destroying each other with Shawn being stuck in the middle and trying to figure out what do do in each situation. It’s a great match, it’s a great fight, and it’s pure emotion the entire time. Great stuff here, and most importantly of all: there were moments where I thought it was over. I never bought that as a possibility last year.

After a few moments on the mat, Taker sits up but falls right back down. He pulls himself up on Shawn and they embrace. HHH is still out cold. Shawn and Taker lift him up and carry him out of the ring. They embrace on the stage in one of the most iconic images you’ll ever see. You don’t often get to use that word, but it’s true in this case.

Send Slim Jims to soldiers! I love charity stuff, but it’s a big shift after what we just sat through.

We get clips of the Hall of Fame stuff from last night.

Here’s the live presentation of the 2012 class: Mil Mascaras, Yokozuna (represented by his kids), Ron Simmons, the Horsemen (including Flair, which set off a lawsuit since he was still under contract to TNA), Mike Tyson and Edge (who gets theme music but has short hair which is such an odd look for him). This was the breather that the fans needed.

Heath Slater tries to get a spot in Flo-Rida’s performance but gets turned and then shoved down. Hawkins and Reks laugh at Slater.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga

Teddy: Kofi Kingston, Great Khali, R-Truth, Zack Ryder (with Eve), Booker T, Santino Marella

Each team has a Bella as a fan, the match is for total control of both brands, and Johnny is in a white suit. Oh and Vickie is with Johnny and Horny is with Teddy as the flag bearers. Otunga and Santino are team captains, because Miz and Booker aren’t good enough. Kofi and Dolph start things off for their usual solid sequence. Truth comes in for a double hiptoss and a dancing legdrop.

McIntyre comes in to pound on Truth but it’s quickly off to Khali to change momentum. It should also be mentioned that they’re in red and blue t-shirts with the GM’s on the front. Off to Booker to chop away on Drew and a superkick puts him down. Booker goes after the rest of Team Johnny but the numbers catch up with him, allowing Swagger to take over. Jack gets to beat on Kofi for a bit and it’s off to Henry. Mark pounds him down in the corner as the match slows way down.

Off to Miz with some knees to the chest and a boot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Booker comes back with a suplex for no cover. Ziggler comes in to break up the tag and drop some elbows for two. Everything starts breaking down as Henry hits the Slam on Booker but Khali chops him down. I can’t keep track of everything going on but Henry catches a diving Horny in mid-air.

The girls get in a brawl and there’s the hot tag to Santino to pound on Miz. The Cobra connects and Cole panics until Ziggler makes the save. Another hot tag brings in Ryder for the Rough Ryder for Dolph and a beatdown on everyone else. He loads up the Broski Boot but Eve gets in the ring as well. The referee tries to get her out and the distraction lets Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Ryder for the pin, making Ace GM of both shows.

Rating: D+. As is the usual case with stuff like this, there was way too much going on to keep track of anything. There were something like 18 people involved in this whole thing and the ending was about Eve and her heel turn more than anything else. Ace would be GM for about four months or so while boring us to death against Cena. Not much to see here though due to the amount of people in the match.

Post match, Eve finally turns on Ryder for good, confirming him as the biggest loser in the WWE. Wasn’t Eve already a heel in the Divas tag? Why is this supposed to be shocking?

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

We get a video on the media blitz and activities for Wrestlemania week.

To celebrate winning, Laurinitis changes the Raw World Title match rules so that if Punk gets disqualified, Jericho wins the title.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

This is over who is the best in the world and Jericho claims that Punk is really an alcoholic and his family has a bunch of substance abuse issues. The buildup for this really was good stuff, even though this is nowhere near the main event. Punk takes it to the mat to start and fires off some kicks to the chest. He does the same with knees in the corner but stops when the referee gets to four. Jericho slaps him in the face and takes the beating like a man to try to get the DQ again.

Another few slaps have Punk in a frenzy but he holds off to avoid the DQ. A slam puts Jericho down but he rolls away before the Macho Elbow can be launched. Instead CM dives to the floor to take out Jericho, followed by a wicked smile. Jericho asks how Punk’s sister and father are but Punk doesn’t swing the chair he grabs. Punk charges into a pair of boots to the face and the challenger takes over.

They head to the apron and Punk tries a GTS, only to be clotheslined back into the ring. Jericho hooks a kind of Jackhammer to the floor for two back inside. We hit the chinlock but Punk fights up with a slap. Jericho comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and kicks the injured back again. Some hard kicks to the torso keep Punk in trouble but he fires off some strikes of his own. The champion goes up but is pulled back down to land hard on his back.

Punk escapes a bow and arrow hold and sidesteps a charge to send Jericho crotch first into the corner. A spinning neckbreaker gets two on Chris and there’s the running knee in the corner. Jericho counters the bulldog but has to stop the Lionsault to avoid knees. That counter is countered into a Walls attempt but Punk shakes him off for two. The Macho Elbow hits knees and Jericho hits the Codebreaker but it sends Punk out to the floor. Back in and Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two.

Punk fires off the kicks and gets two off a quick powerslam. They trade German suplex grips but Punk gets dropped on the top rope to give Jericho control. The Lionsault gets two and Chris goes up, only to be chopped a lot to slow him down. The champion loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls in one of Jericho’s classic counters. Punk finally makes the ropes and sends Jericho to the floor to set up the suicide dive.

Jericho staggers to his feet and Punk hits the running knee, crushing Jericho’s head against the post. They head back in and somehow Jericho grabs the Codebreaker out of nowhere for two. Back up and Jericho pounds away on Punk in the corner, only to go up again and get kicked down. The GTS is countered into the Liontamer (the kneeling version of the Walls) in the middle of the ring but shifts it to the regular Walls.

Jericho has to pull him away from the ropes and Punk escapes into dueling small packages. CM rolls through again into the Anaconda Vice but Jericho knees Punk in the back of the head to escape. The Walls don’t work again and Punk hooks another Vice, this time tucking his head in to avoid the knees. Jericho is trapped and finally gives up.

Rating: A. Great match here with both guys destroying each other and countering everything both guys had. I love the ending with Punk getting smarter as he kept going in a good display of psychology. Thankfully the DQ bit didn’t go anywhere which makes it pretty stupid. Excellent match here though which would have been a great main event for any other show of the year.

Wrestlemania 29 is coming to New Jersey, but we’ll bill it as New York because it sounds better.

Here’s Brodus, who had recently debuted as the Funkasaurus. He tells everyone to get their phone, because they’re gonna call their mamas. Brodus calls his own and apparently she’s here tonight……WITH THE BRIDGE CLUB! Cue a troop of old women for a BIG dance party.

Video on G.I. Joe 2 which was just released like two weeks ago. As in nearly a year after this show.

And now, it is time.

We recap Rock vs. Cena which is at least a year in the making. Something like seven years ago Cena insulted Rock in an interview, so when Rock came back to be guest host last year, he insulted Cena in his return promo. The night after Wrestlemania, Cena had challenged Rock to a one on one match at THIS Wrestlemania. This led to a year of build (minus six months for Rock to make a movie of course) which got me to the point where I HAD to see this match. I didn’t know if it was going to be great, if it was going to suck, or somewhere in between, but I needed to see it. That’s never happened to me as a fan before.

Diddy comes out to bring out MGK (a rapper) to perform some song called Invincible. He does this stupid monologue about how Cena is a huge underdog in this, despite Cena being active having more experience overall than Rock. Cena is booed out of the building but gives something to an old lady who apparently is related to some Hall of Famer. We should be ready for Rock’s entrance, but first we need Flo-Rida to perform two songs. I remember SCREAMING to get to it at this point. Oh and Flo has a bunch of dancers with him, presumably the same girls who were in the Bridge Club ten minutes ago.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock’s ovation is thunderous. There’s really no other way to put it as it’s very clear who the fans are for here. During the big match intros, Cena is booed even further out of the stadium. They stare each other down and FINALLY the bell rings. Cena shoves him away to start and the dueling chants begin. They lock up again and this time Cena goes flying. Rock grabs a headlock before they fight over arm control.

A few armdrags put Cena down and a cradle gets a quick two for Cena. Cena has to make sure it wasn’t three as he looks a bit shaken. Back up and John leapfrogs over Rock before taking him down with a headlock takeover. They get up again and Rock tries a quick Sharpshooter but Cena bails to the floor. Rock decks him as he gets back in but Cena charges at him in the corner with a hard shoulder to the ribs. Cena gets a quick one count off a clothesline before putting on a bearhug on the mat.

Back up and Rock punches away but gets low bridged out to the floor. Cena drops him ribs first onto the barricade and announce table before going to the ring for a seat. When Rock won’t quit Cena throws him back inside and gets a two count. We’re definitely in another gear now. Off to a bearhug on Rock’s bad ribs but he won’t quit. Rock finally comes back with right hands to escape and a DDT for two.

Rock wins a quick slugout and hits the spinebuster but Cena picks the leg to break up the Elbow. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence but the AA is escaped. A double clothesline puts both guys down as they take a breather. After a few moments on the mat they slug it out with Cena punching Rock down to his knees. Rock fires off more punches and does You Can’t See Me before trying the spit punch, only to get caught in the AA for a close two.

Cena goes to pick Rock up but takes the Rock Bottom for two for the Brahma Bull. Rock stomps away in the corner but walks into a side slam for two. John goes up top for a very delayed top rope Fameasser for another near fall. Rock comes back with a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter but he doesn’t have it on well. Cena crawls to the rope so Rock lets go and pounds away. Back to the Sharpshooter (why don’t more people do that? Even if Cena won’t quit you can still do more damage) but Cena makes the rope immediately again. Gee maybe if he had pulled Cena from the rope it would have been harder to escape.

Rock fires off some elbows to the chest and sends Cena into the steps for good measure. Back inside and Cena tries a sunset flip of all things but immediately shifts into the STF in the middle of the ring. Cena drags him back to the middle of the ring and Rock is starting to fade. We get an old school arm check and Rock holds it up on the third drop. I love stuff like that. Rock makes it to the ropes and as they get back up, Cena walks into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Another slugout goes to Rock and the spinebuster sets up the Elbow……for TWO. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts and can you blame them a bit? Both guys are spent here but Cena hits a catapult into the corner for two. With nothing left to try, Cena loads up the middle rope AA but Rock shoves him off and tries a top rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the BIG AA for an even closer two. Cena begs the referee to call it three. That gets him nowhere so Cena loads up a People’s Elbow. As he hits the second rope, Rock nips up and hits the Rock Bottom for the shocking pin.

Rating: A+. What else do you want from this? This is one of those matches which could have gone either way as they beat the tar out of each other. They had the big fight atmosphere down to perfection here and while the ending is still questionable (yet not completely wrong), it’s exactly what you want a Wrestlemania main event to be. This somehow surpassed the hype and was excellent in every sense of the word.

Cena sits on the ramp, stunned.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best shows of all time, bar none. The two big matches delivered far better than you could have hoped for, the Raw title match was great, nothing sucked, there are multiple Wrestlemania Moments on here, and the crowd was white hot all night. This is easily in the highest levels of Wrestlemanias ever and it’s every bit as good as it was when I watched it live. Great stuff and absolutely worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original:

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

Redo: A

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

I shortchanged that main event terribly. It’s a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

Well that’s that I guess. As is the case with every PPV series, some are great, some suck, a lot are in the middle. This series however is different. It’s THE show and THE series which is bigger than anything else in the world of professional wrestling. Wrestlemania has been around 29 years now and with the latest edition only a day away as of right now, it’s still going strong.

Around 2001, Wrestlemania became a spectacle in addition to an event as they started going to major stadiums and drawing 70,000+ people to every show. That’s remarkable and the fact that the crowds keep growing is a great sign. I love wrestling and I love Wrestlemania, so watching these shows has been a treat.

I’ll be back on July 24 with the Summerslam Redos, so I hope to not see you then. Why would I want to see you? I want you at your computers reading the reviews. Go read more of them now. Or my books. Yeah preferably the books.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

While the main event is easy enough to explain, the other big match on the card is one of the more confusing in recent memory. Originally, the Survivor Series match was scheduled to be Team Mick Foley vs. Team CM Punk. However, Punk was put in the title match instead so Team Punk became Team Ziggler. A series of injuries and storyline changes resulted in the match being completely different than originally announced. It also didn’t help that Ziggler and Foley had almost no interaction on television and no real reason to be angry at each other. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

It’s Slater and Mahal (Jinder Mahal, who never did much) here. Ryder starts with Mahal as Matt Striker rips Ryder on commentary. Mahal takes him down with a shoulder block but gets caught in an armdrag. Off to Santino who works on a headlock before it’s off to Slater for another armdrag. Ryder comes back in as the announcers talk about Halloween a good three weeks since it’s been over. McIntyre holds Slater’s belt from the floor to avoids Santino’s dropkick. Tag off to Mahal who gets two off a knee drop.

Back to Slater for some shots in the corner but he gives up the hot tag to Santino for all his usual antics. Heath punches him down and brings Jinder in again for some knee drops off the ropes. Santino misses a double clothesline which gives Slater another near fall. The Band stays on Marella but he backdrops Mahal down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ryder. The Broski Boot connects and everything breaks down. A Rough Ryder connects on Slater but the legal Mahal sneaks in with a full nelson slam for the pin on Zack.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see. It isn’t a bad match or anything but how good can a match be when 3MB is getting a clean pin? That’s not exactly a match that’s going to light the world on fire. Also, you’re trying to get a crowd going for a show, you have Santino Marella, and he doesn’t get the hot tag?

The opening video talks about the history that has taken place at this show, ranging from Undertaker and Rock debuting, Montreal, and Rock and Cena teaming up for the first time ever. We then shift over to the main event hype videos you would expect, focusing on the World Title matches and….nothing else. Seriously Foley vs. Ziggler isn’t mentioned here at all. There is a nice idea of Punk surviving as champion at various amounts of days into his reign.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio

Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players

This is a bonus match to fill out the card. Clay is a big man who likes to dance, Tensai is formerly known as Albert/A-Train, Epico and Primo are cousins from Puerto Rico, Kidd is a high flier from Canada and the Prime Time Players are Titus O’Neil and Darren Young, a team who used to fight each other on NXT. This was also back when Tensai was all evil but was a total joke by this point, just as he had been all along.

Kidd works on Epico’s arm to start before taking him down into a headlock. Epico is sent to the floor but manages to send Kidd face first into the apron to take over but it’s quickly off to Gabriel. A sunset flip gets two for Justin and he cranks on Epico’s arm as well. Back to Kidd for a headscissors before putting on another armbar. That doesn’t last long as Mysterio comes in with a low dropkick for two.

Young gets the tag and is almost immediately sent face first into the middle buckle, allowing for a tag off to Sin Cara. The masked men hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two on Young, sending him over to the corner for a tag off to Primo. Cara hits a quick cross body for two and a sunset flip gets the same as this is a very fast paced match. Tensai gets the tag and runs over Cara with a few slams as JBL lists off Tensai’s Japanese accomplishments.

Off to Titus as Sin Cara is in a lot of trouble. Another slam puts Sin down and it’s off to Primo for a camel clutch. Tensai comes back in to work over the downed Cara but goes after the rest of the team instead of covering. Sin Cara gets up for an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Clay. Brodus cleans house and the Players, Epico and Primo are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo dives to take out the cousins followed by Asai moonsaults from Cara and Mysterio to take out the Players.

The monsters are going at it back inside and Clay botches his high collar suplex, making it into more of a lifting downward spiral. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner and shoulders Brodus down, setting up a backsplash for the elimination. Gabriel comes in with some kicks to the side but gets taken down by a big shoulder block. Off to Titus for an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker. Back to Tensai for two off a backsplash but he misses a second one, allowing Gabriel to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Titus comes in to stomp on the spent Gabriel before it’s back to Epico for a chinlock. Epico misses some elbow drops, allowing Gabriel to make the tag off to Tyson. Kidd heads to the apron but gets sent to the floor where Primo gets in a cheap shot. Back inside with Primo now legal but getting forearmed in the face. Cole says Primo has been a general out there.

Back to Titus who crotches himself off a missed big boot, allowing Tyson to kick him in the side of the head, setting up a rolling cradle for the pin and an elimination. Young comes in to keep the pressure on Kidd before it’s back to Epico for some rolling belly to back suplexes. Not that they matter though as Kidd sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter to get rid of Epico. Cole of course talks about Montreal.

Primo comes in now but gets elbowed in the ribs for his efforts. He comes back with a quick belly to back suplex, only to go up top and dive into a dropkick to the ribs. The hot tag brings in Mysterio who rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face for two. A seated senton looks to set up the 619 but Primo moves to the side, only to get caught in La Majistral for the pin. Darren Young is left all alone and it’s finishers a go-go until Rey finishes him with a top rope splash for the win.

Rating: C. The winners were never really in doubt but this was the right way to get a show going. The fast paced stuff worked very well here with all of the smaller guys hitting their dives to wake the crowd up and give them a fun match. It’s no masterpiece or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. A little trivia for you: that loss makes Tensai 0-5 at Survivor Series, good for the worst record ever at the show.

Kaitlyn is on her way to the ring when someone in black attacks her. Kaitlyn fights back to reveal a blonde wig which falls off as the attacker leaves. Eve pops up and acts all shocked even though she’s evil at the moment. The attacker wound up being Aksana in a meaningless story.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.

Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and didn’t get much better in the future. Eve was better but her character had hit a ceiling around this time.

Team Ziggler argues over who is the leader.

Team Foley argues over who will survive. Foley unites them in a BANG BANG chant, save for Orton. Foley: “Randy?” Orton: “I hate you.” Foley: “He’s ready.”

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro (known as the Swiss Superman) is defending and asks why Americans are thankful. The only thing he can think of is how great of a champion he is. Truth gets a quick rollup, sunset flip and rolling cradle for two each before thrusting his hips a bit. Cesaro comes back with a headbutt and a clothesline before pounding away on Truth in the corner. Off to an armbar but a USA chant gets Truth to his feet. The champion shoulders him in the corner and puts on a body vice to keep Truth down again.

A knee to the ribs gets two as JBL lists off some facts about Cesaro’s rugby career. Cole brushes him off and starts listing off rugby facts of his own, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about Cole not listening and asking if Cole is a parrot. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro and an uppercut gets the same. Back to the body vice for a bit before Truth makes his comeback. Some clotheslines take Cesaro down and a spinning kick to the face gets two. A front suplex gets the same for Truth but the ax kick misses and Cesaro Neutralizes him to retain.

Rating: D. Other than JBL’s rant there was nothing to pay attention to here. These kind of title defenses tend to be very dull as someone like Truth isn’t going to take the title off Cesaro. For the life of me I don’t get why Cesaro isn’t a bigger deal than he is today. The guy has everything you would need but he doesn’t get that big push.

We get a clip from Raw of voicemails from AJ (a psychotic Diva who grew obsessed with various wrestlers), saying that she wants to end her relationship with Cena, but she loses control when she sees him. AJ claims that Ziggler hacked her phone and set those up. Ziggler makes fun of Cena’s, ahem, performance issues, drawing out Cena as backup. AJ slapped Ziggler down without Cena doing a thing.

Here’s AJ with some evidence against someone for something. Over the last month Vickie has been trying to prove that AJ is having an affair with Cena (remember that they’re both single at this point) which AJ thinks means Vickie has something to hide. This brings out Vickie, ranting as always about how much power she has and how she’s being disrespected.

AJ has pictures of Vickie eating with various wrestling personalities and this is scandalous! I’ve spent a long time trying to block this storyline out of my head but now I’m remembering how dumb it was. Vickie is shown in a one piece leopard swimsuit dancing with Brodus causing her to shout a lot. Slapping is threatened but they both get fired for touching the other, so here’s Tamina Snuka to destroy AJ on Vickie’s behalf. This story would keep going for WEEKS.

Paul Heyman talks about how Punk is now #8 on the all time list for longest title reign and will be rising up the ranks even further after tonight because he’s the best in the world. Heyman is just awesome at promoting his guys.

We recap Big Show vs. Sheamus. Not much of a story here other than they had a war at Hell in a Cell with both guys kicking out of each others’ finishers in a great match. Tonight is a rematch.

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Big Show

Big Show is defending. It’s another brawl to start with Sheamus pounding away but Big Show gets in a few shots of his own to take over. The big chop misses in the corner and Sheamus gets in some more shots to little avail. Finally Sheamus wakes up and goes after the knees before tying Show up in the ropes for the forearms to the chest. Big Show escapes to the floor but Sheamus dives off the apron to get in even more right hands to the head.

Back in and Sheamus goes up top but Big Show spears him out of the air in a cool looking crash. They head outside again with Show sending Sheamus into the steps. Sheamus is thrown back in and can barely move. Big Show steps on Sheamus’ ribs a few times as the match has slowed way down. A huge elbow drop gets two and we hit the nerve hold. Sheamus fights up quickly but walks into a side slam for two as the match stays in slow motion. Since the slams aren’t working, Show just stands on Sheamus’ head. Sheamus fights up and grabs a sleeper but Big Show throws him off.

Big Show is getting winded so Sheamus pounds away as much as he can, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. The Final Cut gets two and Show goes to the middle rope, only to be caught in an electric chair of all things for two. They slug it out from their knees and Sheamus takes over, knocking Show down with a running ax handle.

The Brogue Kick and chokeslam are countered and Sheamus gets two off White Noise. Now the fans are getting into this again. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick again but takes out the referee by mistake. Four people immediately come out to check on the referee as the replay shows the champion pulling him in the way. Big Show knocks out Sheamus and one of the referees counts a pin to end the match out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match was slow for the most part and the ending hurts it even worse. This took all the good stuff out of their match at Hell in a Cell and turned it into a dull imitation. This needed to be two monsters firing bombs at each other until neither guy could get up but instead it was your usual Big Show match at about 4 miles per hour.

Post match Show is disqualified and Sheamus lays the alleged thirty one chair shots on him. I never remembered it being that many and that’s because it’s more like eighteen and a Brogue Kick. Big Show crawls to the back as WE WANT ZIGGLER (Mr. Money in the Bank) chants are ignored.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Damien Sandow, Wade Barrett

The Miz, Kofi Kingston, HELL NO, Randy Orton

So as I said, it was supposed to be Punk vs. Foley over old school vs. new school, but Punk was put in the main event and Ziggler was picked despite having no issue with Foley. The match was originally Punk/Sandow/Miz/Del Rio/Rhodes, but Cody got hurt and Miz felt he didn’t deserve the spot, so Miz was replaced by Barrett and Cody was replaced by Otunga.

Ryback was originally on Team Foley but was moved to the main event and replaced by Miz in a Raw poll. As you can see, the match is a huge mess and almost no one was interested in it for the most part. HELL NO (Kane and Daniel Bryan) are the Tag Team Champions and Kofi is Intercontinental Champion of course. Sandow is an intellectual.

Kofi grabs a quick rollup for two on Otunga to start. David avoids a quick Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by a dive on the floor. Otunga’s trunks are pulled up a bit as Bryan comes in with his kicks. Off to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow gets two. Bryan fights out of a chinlock and fires off the kicks to the chest to send Sandow out to the floor. Damien says good luck and walks out but Kane will have none of that. Back in and Bryan’s big kick to the head sets up a chokeslam for a fast elimination.

The Tag Team Champions get in an argument for no apparent reason, allowing Ziggler to hit a quick Zig Zag on Kane for the pin. That makes the move look strong if nothing else. Orton and Miz get in a quick fight for some reason but Randy catches a sneaky Ziggler in the slingshot suplex for two. Off to Kofi for the matchup that will not die with Ziggler being launched face first into the buckle for two. Back to Bryan who gets poked in the eye, allowing Dolph to tag in Barrett.

Bryan shouts NO a lot but misses a charge into the corner, setting up Barrett’s big boot in the ropes. Otunga comes in again and the YES Lock goes on almost immediately for the submission. It’s 4-3 with Foley in the lead as Del Rio comes in with a chinlock on Bryan. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Bryan to kick him out to the floor. Kofi gets the not very hot tag and kicks Del Rio down, setting up the Boom Drop for no cover. Instead Ziggler distracts Kofi so Trouble in Paradise misses, but Kofi runs up the corner for a cross body and two.

Wade comes right back with the Bull Hammer for a quick pin, getting us down to 3-3 (Orton/Miz/Bryan vs. Barrett/Ziggler/Del Rio). Orton comes in right away and suplexes Barrett down before cranking on the arm. Miz doesn’t seem interested in a tag but Bryan is glad to come in and work on an arm. A middle rope dropkick gets two and Bryan snaps off even more kicks. Barrett avoids a big one and tags in Del Rio but Alberto has to fight out of a quick YES Lock attempt.

Alberto tries a running enziguri in the corner but hits the arm instead, setting up the cross armbreaker for the elimination. Miz comes in for the first time and scores with some left hands before it’s back to Orton for his traditional stuff. Back to Ziggler who takes over on Randy with a big elbow followed by a chinlock. Orton fights up and launches Ziggler into the air in a nice crash.

A double tag brings in Barrett and Miz with the American connecting with the corner clothesline. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a pumphandle attempt (called Wasteland by Cole) but Miz escapes into the Finale for the elimination to tie us up at two. Del Rio comes in next but charges into a DDT for two. Alberto grabs a German suplex for two but gets pulled off the middle rope in a crash. Miz misses the corner clothesline and gets enziguried for an elimination.

That leaves Orton vs. Ziggler/Del Rio with Alberto starting for his pair. Orton fires off some punches but gets caught by a cheap shot, allowing Ziggler to come in and slow things down. Alberto is back in very quickly with a double stomp to the ribs but goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick. Ricardo trips up Orton, earning him Socko down the throat. Ziggler accidentally dropkicks Del Rio and gets sent into the post. A quick RKO takes out Alberto and it’s one on one now with Orton having that evil look in his eyes.

Orton immediately goes into RKO mode but Ziggler holds the ropes and hits the Zig Zag for a quick near fall. So it can beat Kane after he’s taken no damage at all but Orton kicks out at two after twenty minutes? Score one for the Viper. The Fameasser misses and Orton hits the Elevated DDT despite bleeding from the mouth a bit. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a superkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Here’s the problem again: the match isn’t bad but there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting each other. Yeah they’ve all feuded with each other at some point in the past, but there’s nothing going on setting up this match. It’s really just ten guys fighting each other with a minor feud here or there. There was no reason to care about this match and that’s exactly how the match felt. Decent match, but the absence of emotion held it back.

We recap the main event. Punk has been champion for a year almost to the day, Ryback got screwed over by referee Brad Maddox inside the Cell and Cena gave Ryback his spot in the Cell due to injury. The solution was a triple threat match.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk, with Paul Heyman in his corner, bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both challengers. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena wants to do it himself and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fall away slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.

Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.

Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he wouldn’t really recover. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.

The three men would be revealed as Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose (DUN DUN DUN!), which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Man alive has time been cruel to this show. Watching it live there was some drama, but looking back you have two LONG Survivor Series matches with no real story behind them and two screwjob finishes in title matches. Shield would become a bigger deal but no one knew that at this point. This was a “tune into Raw tomorrow night” show and that’s not good for the Survivor Series.

Ratings Comparison

3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Original:

Redo: D+

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Original: B-

Redo: C

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Original: D-

Redo: D

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Original: D

Redo: D

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team Foley vs. Team Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same down the line. It sucked back then and it sucked now. I actually watched most of this show late and while still tired from a flight the first time around but apparently it had more problems than that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/21/survivor-series-2012-a-filler-ppv-disguised-as-a-major-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We wrap things up with this and a main event which no one ever thought we would see: John Cena vs. The Rock. This is one of if not the only match ever that I had to see. I didn’t know if it would be good or bad, but I needed to see it. The match was announced the night after the last Wrestlemania and was literally built for a year. On the undercard we have Punk vs. Jericho for the world title, Sheamus vs. Bryan for the other title and HHH vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. When that is a DISTANT second match, you know you’ve got something huge. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is about how Cena and Rock’s lives have both built up to this moment and how this match is Once In A Lifetime. Oh and HHH vs. Undertaker is happening too.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus won the Rumble to earn this show. We’re pre-beard for Bryan here which is weird to see anymore. The bell rings, Bryan kisses his girlfriend AJ, turns around into a Brogue Kick and we have a new champion in 18 seconds. That number would haunt Bryan for at least six months.

Team Johnny is fired up for the twelve man tag for later tonight. Miz brags about being in the main event last year but it’s Otunga who gets them to be quiet for a pep talk from Johnny Ace.

Win tickets to Wrestlemania 29!

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane had recently put the mask back on again and went after Orton to prove that he’s still evil because last summer he lost a street fight to Orton and then shook his hand. Why is it Orton who gets these months and years long backstories? The opener didn’t quite have its intended effect as the fans are chanting for Daniel Bryan. Kane takes over to start but the chokeslam is broken up by kicks to the ribs. Orton gets him down and stomps away but Kane reverses the Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by Cole) and takes over with a big boot.

Kane’s low dropkick gets a near fall and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and they slug it out with Randy taking over. Kane will have none of that though and clotheslines Randy down for two. The side slam gets two more and it’s back to the chinlock. A swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere puts Kane down but the monster hits a vertical suplex for another two count. Off to chinlock #3 as the match slows down again.

Orton backflips out of another side slam and his backbreaker puts Kane down for a bit. There’s the powerslam and Orton is getting fired up. Kane goes shoulder first into the post and now the Elevated DDT hits (again called a bulldog by Cole). The RKO is countered into a big boot for two more for Kane but the top rope clothesline is blocked by a dropkick. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a chokeslam for a close two. Another RKO is countered and Kane goes to the middle rope. Orton tries a superplex but Kane shrugs him off and hits a middle rope chokeslam for the upset win.

Rating: B-. I had always wanted to see these two have a match and I was pleased when I finally saw it. Kane can have a good match on a big stage when he needs to and that’s what he did here. Orton is bulletproof so it’s not like losing here means anything of note. This was a nice surprise and a good match with a big ending.

Santino is with Mick Foley in a sailor hat and a guy from the fishing show Deadliest Catch. They’re eating crabs and Foley makes bad pirate jokes. Socko and Cobra make appearances, as does Ron Simmons and I think you can get the joke from here.

Some National Guard people are here.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Cody is defending and the idea here is that Big Show has never had a good Wrestlemania moment. You know, because winning a meaningless midcard title in 2012 is more important than main eventing the show in possibly the biggest and best year the company has ever had. During the entrance we get some “highlights” from Show’s career. Naturally the pin in the 8 man tag last year is never mentioned at all.

Cody runs to the floor to start but Show easily throws him back into the ring. There’s a beal across the ring and a hard chop in the corner, followed by a Stink Face for good measure. Cody comes back with some dropkicks to the knee and pounds away as much as he can. Rhodes pounds on Show’s back a bit and is LAUNCHED off on the kickout. The champion works on the knee a bit with a standing leg lock and a DDT to take it down. After some stomps to Show’s head, he shoves Cody away with ease but gets caught by the Disaster Kick. A second is countered with a spear though and the WMD makes Show the champion.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Cody has nothing that was going to keep Show down and with all the building up of the match about Show’s past embarrassments, there was only one way this could end. That and it’s only about five minutes so it didn’t have enough time to suck or anything. Not great but it was exactly what it was expect to be.

Video on what it means to be a Diva.

We recap the Divas tag. Kelly Kelly had been a guest on Extra with Maria Menunos when Eve and Beth came in and claimed they should be the guests. A tag match was made.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly

Beth has….wings on her head? Kelly and the freshly heel Eve start things off with Kelly doing her screaming hurricanrana to take over. A handspring elbow hits Eve’s knee in the corner but Kelly breaks up a moonsault and knocks Eve into the Tree of Woe. Off to Maria for a double Stink Face, resulting in the famous stain on the back of Maria’s tights from Eve’s makeup.

Since Maria isn’t a wrestler, the beatdown on her begins quickly with Eve wrapping her up in a body vice. Off to Beth (in gold tonight) for a side bearhug as the match slows WAY down. Back to Eve for some quick double teaming but she takes too long with the shaky moonsault. It’s back to Kelly as things break down a bit. A top rope seated senton gets two on Beth and the Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog. Back to Maria who goes….up. After getting pulled down, Kelly breaks up a gorilla press and a rollup is enough for Maria to pin Beth.

Rating: D+. Four good looking women in tight outfits and one of them anchors a national television show. Do you really need a further explanation as to why this happened? The interesting note: of these four, Maria is the only one involved with Wrestlemania 29 and that’s as a Hall of Fame inductor.

Shawn Michaels, the guest referee inside the Cell, says either the Undertaker or HHH are done tonight.

New attendance record. As always.

Jim Ross comes out to do commentary for the Cell match.

HHH vs. Undertaker

This is inside Hell in a Cell with Shawn Michaels as guest referee. Undertaker basically became Batman in his cave and wanted a rematch to prove he could beat HHH. As in like he already did. This is also billed as End of an Era, but what era that was never actually became clear. The announcement of the Cell was perfect as HHH said he wanted one more thing, which was presumed to be Streak vs. career. It’s a good lesson in letting the feud set the stipulations, not the calendar. Undertaker debuts his new mohawk here to a gasp from the crowd. The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica.

Taker pounds away into the corner to start with “carcinogenic” right hands according to JR. HHH pounds away as well but gets thrown out to the floor soon thereafter. HHH is sent into the Cell a few times and a backdrop puts him down on the floor again. Taker sends him into the steel over and over as it’s one sided so far. Now it’s the steps instead of the Cell with Taker in full control. Back in and a facebuster is no sold and down goes HHH again.

Old School connects and we head back outside again. Shawn isn’t a factor yet. The steps go upside HHH’s head and set up the apron legdrop. Back in and HHH hits a DDT, which somehow makes us completely even. The steps are in the ring now so HHH slams Taker’s head into them a few times. A Pedigree onto the steps is blocked with a backdrop but HHH comes back with a spinebuster onto the steps, only to get caught in the Hell’s Gate. In an impressive power display, HHH lifts Taker up into a powerbomb to break the hold and get two as well.

HHH throws in a pair of chairs and cracks one of them over Taker’s back. Taker is whipped into the steps in the corner before they’re sent to the outside. JR says there are no laws in the Cell. Other than you win by pin or submission and all that. HHH goes off with the chair, DESTROYING Undertaker Austin/Rock style. Shawn takes the chair away and tells HHH to cover Undertaker because he’s not going to quit. Trips takes the chair back and shoves Shawn down before pounding on Taker even more. He tells Shawn to end it before he does.

Taker says do not stop it as he’s getting back up. He turns around though and is hit in the ribs and back by the chair but it only gets two. HHH is starting to get frustrated so he hits Taker in the back with another chair and it’s time for more pathos with Taker saying don’t stop it. Cue the sledgehammer for a shot to the head for ANOTHER two. HHH (who is cut over the eye) has no idea what to do now.

The Game pulls up the hammer to slam it down onto Taker’s head but Shawn pulls it away to prevent the murder. Shawn is ready to stop it as Taker can barely move. Michaels raises his hand but Taker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate to stop him. Trips breaks it up with a hammer shot but Taker comes back with a low blow and Hell’s Gate on HHH. There’s no referee though and Taker lets it go from exhaustion with his opponent out cold.

Another referee comes in as Taker hits a last effort chokeslam for two. Taker chokeslams the referee (I believe that’s the same referee he beat up in 2001 against HHH as well) but walks into the superkick into the Pedigree…..FOR TWO! I lost my mind watching that live because I really thought it was over. Now HHH shoves Shawn to the floor and Taker sits up to scare the life out of HHH. Taker erupts on HHH with a big boot and running clothesline, setting up snake eyes and another boot.

The Tombstone connects but HHH is up at two. Shawn has no idea what to do as both guys are slowly getting up. They slug it out from their knees before getting to their feet for more HARD punches. Another Tombstone is countered into the Pedigree for a VERY close two. HHH goes for the hammer but Taker steps on it to stop him. A HARD chair shot to the back puts HHH down and another one keeps him down.

Some more chair shots get two on HHH so Shawn screams at them to end this. HHH tries a hammer shot to the face but Taker easily blocks it. They stare each other down and HHH gives Taker a crotch chop. Trips walks out of the corner into a hammer shot to the head. HHH tries to climb up Taker’s body but the strap comes down, the throat is slit, and the Tombstone makes it 20-0.

Rating: A+. This is another reason why I’m not so wild on last year’s match: they’re capable of SO much better and this is proof. This match told a great story with both guys destroying each other with Shawn being stuck in the middle and trying to figure out what do do in each situation. It’s a great match, it’s a great fight, and it’s pure emotion the entire time. Great stuff here, and most importantly of all: there were moments where I thought it was over. I never bought that as a possibility last year.

After a few moments on the mat, Taker sits up but falls right back down. He pulls himself up on Shawn and they embrace. HHH is still out cold. Shawn and Taker lift him up and carry him out of the ring. They embrace on the stage in one of the most iconic images you’ll ever see. You don’t often get to use that word, but it’s true in this case.

Send Slim Jims to soldiers! I love charity stuff, but it’s a big shift after what we just sat through.

We get clips of the Hall of Fame stuff from last night.

Here’s the live presentation of the 2012 class: Mil Mascaras, Yokozuna (represented by his kids), Ron Simmons, the Horsemen (including Flair, which set off a lawsuit since he was still under contract to TNA), Mike Tyson and Edge (who gets theme music but has short hair which is such an odd look for him). This was the breather that the fans needed.

Heath Slater tries to get a spot in Flo-Rida’s performance but gets turned and then shoved down. Hawkins and Reks laugh at Slater.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga

Teddy: Kofi Kingston, Great Khali, R-Truth, Zack Ryder (with Eve), Booker T, Santino Marella

Each team has a Bella as a fan, the match is for total control of both brands, and Johnny is in a white suit. Oh and Vickie is with Johnny and Horny is with Teddy as the flag bearers. Otunga and Santino are team captains, because Miz and Booker aren’t good enough. Kofi and Dolph start things off for their usual solid sequence. Truth comes in for a double hiptoss and a dancing legdrop.

McIntyre comes in to pound on Truth but it’s quickly off to Khali to change momentum. It should also be mentioned that they’re in red and blue t-shirts with the GM’s on the front. Off to Booker to chop away on Drew and a superkick puts him down. Booker goes after the rest of Team Johnny but the numbers catch up with him, allowing Swagger to take over. Jack gets to beat on Kofi for a bit and it’s off to Henry. Mark pounds him down in the corner as the match slows way down.

Off to Miz with some knees to the chest and a boot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Booker comes back with a suplex for no cover. Ziggler comes in to break up the tag and drop some elbows for two. Everything starts breaking down as Henry hits the Slam on Booker but Khali chops him down. I can’t keep track of everything going on but Henry catches a diving Horny in mid-air.

The girls get in a brawl and there’s the hot tag to Santino to pound on Miz. The Cobra connects and Cole panics until Ziggler makes the save. Another hot tag brings in Ryder for the Rough Ryder for Dolph and a beatdown on everyone else. He loads up the Broski Boot but Eve gets in the ring as well. The referee tries to get her out and the distraction lets Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Ryder for the pin, making Ace GM of both shows.

Rating: D+. As is the usual case with stuff like this, there was way too much going on to keep track of anything. There were something like 18 people involved in this whole thing and the ending was about Eve and her heel turn more than anything else. Ace would be GM for about four months or so while boring us to death against Cena. Not much to see here though due to the amount of people in the match.

Post match, Eve finally turns on Ryder for good, confirming him as the biggest loser in the WWE. Wasn’t Eve already a heel in the Divas tag? Why is this supposed to be shocking?

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

We get a video on the media blitz and activities for Wrestlemania week.

To celebrate winning, Laurinitis changes the Raw World Title match rules so that if Punk gets disqualified, Jericho wins the title.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

This is over who is the best in the world and Jericho claims that Punk is really an alcoholic and his family has a bunch of substance abuse issues. The buildup for this really was good stuff, even though this is nowhere near the main event. Punk takes it to the mat to start and fires off some kicks to the chest. He does the same with knees in the corner but stops when the referee gets to four. Jericho slaps him in the face and takes the beating like a man to try to get the DQ again.

Another few slaps have Punk in a frenzy but he holds off to avoid the DQ. A slam puts Jericho down but he rolls away before the Macho Elbow can be launched. Instead CM dives to the floor to take out Jericho, followed by a wicked smile. Jericho asks how Punk’s sister and father are but Punk doesn’t swing the chair he grabs. Punk charges into a pair of boots to the face and the challenger takes over.

They head to the apron and Punk tries a GTS, only to be clotheslined back into the ring. Jericho hooks a kind of Jackhammer to the floor for two back inside. We hit the chinlock but Punk fights up with a slap. Jericho comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and kicks the injured back again. Some hard kicks to the torso keep Punk in trouble but he fires off some strikes of his own. The champion goes up but is pulled back down to land hard on his back.

Punk escapes a bow and arrow hold and sidesteps a charge to send Jericho crotch first into the corner. A spinning neckbreaker gets two on Chris and there’s the running knee in the corner. Jericho counters the bulldog but has to stop the Lionsault to avoid knees. That counter is countered into a Walls attempt but Punk shakes him off for two. The Macho Elbow hits knees and Jericho hits the Codebreaker but it sends Punk out to the floor. Back in and Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two.

Punk fires off the kicks and gets two off a quick powerslam. They trade German suplex grips but Punk gets dropped on the top rope to give Jericho control. The Lionsault gets two and Chris goes up, only to be chopped a lot to slow him down. The champion loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls in one of Jericho’s classic counters. Punk finally makes the ropes and sends Jericho to the floor to set up the suicide dive.

Jericho staggers to his feet and Punk hits the running knee, crushing Jericho’s head against the post. They head back in and somehow Jericho grabs the Codebreaker out of nowhere for two. Back up and Jericho pounds away on Punk in the corner, only to go up again and get kicked down. The GTS is countered into the Liontamer (the kneeling version of the Walls) in the middle of the ring but shifts it to the regular Walls.

Jericho has to pull him away from the ropes and Punk escapes into dueling small packages. CM rolls through again into the Anaconda Vice but Jericho knees Punk in the back of the head to escape. The Walls don’t work again and Punk hooks another Vice, this time tucking his head in to avoid the knees. Jericho is trapped and finally gives up.

Rating: A. Great match here with both guys destroying each other and countering everything both guys had. I love the ending with Punk getting smarter as he kept going in a good display of psychology. Thankfully the DQ bit didn’t go anywhere which makes it pretty stupid. Excellent match here though which would have been a great main event for any other show of the year.

Wrestlemania 29 is coming to New Jersey, but we’ll bill it as New York because it sounds better.

Here’s Brodus, who had recently debuted as the Funkasaurus. He tells everyone to get their phone, because they’re gonna call their mamas. Brodus calls his own and apparently she’s here tonight……WITH THE BRIDGE CLUB! Cue a troop of old women for a BIG dance party.

Video on G.I. Joe 2 which was just released like two weeks ago. As in nearly a year after this show.

And now, it is time.

We recap Rock vs. Cena which is at least a year in the making. Something like seven years ago Cena insulted Rock in an interview, so when Rock came back to be guest host last year, he insulted Cena in his return promo. The night after Wrestlemania, Cena had challenged Rock to a one on one match at THIS Wrestlemania. This led to a year of build (minus six months for Rock to make a movie of course) which got me to the point where I HAD to see this match. I didn’t know if it was going to be great, if it was going to suck, or somewhere in between, but I needed to see it. That’s never happened to me as a fan before.

Diddy comes out to bring out MGK (a rapper) to perform some song called Invincible. He does this stupid monologue about how Cena is a huge underdog in this, despite Cena being active having more experience overall than Rock. Cena is booed out of the building but gives something to an old lady who apparently is related to some Hall of Famer. We should be ready for Rock’s entrance, but first we need Flo-Rida to perform two songs. I remember SCREAMING to get to it at this point. Oh and Flo has a bunch of dancers with him, presumably the same girls who were in the Bridge Club ten minutes ago.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock’s ovation is thunderous. There’s really no other way to put it as it’s very clear who the fans are for here. During the big match intros, Cena is booed even further out of the stadium. They stare each other down and FINALLY the bell rings. Cena shoves him away to start and the dueling chants begin. They lock up again and this time Cena goes flying. Rock grabs a headlock before they fight over arm control.

A few armdrags put Cena down and a cradle gets a quick two for Cena. Cena has to make sure it wasn’t three as he looks a bit shaken. Back up and John leapfrogs over Rock before taking him down with a headlock takeover. They get up again and Rock tries a quick Sharpshooter but Cena bails to the floor. Rock decks him as he gets back in but Cena charges at him in the corner with a hard shoulder to the ribs. Cena gets a quick one count off a clothesline before putting on a bearhug on the mat.

Back up and Rock punches away but gets low bridged out to the floor. Cena drops him ribs first onto the barricade and announce table before going to the ring for a seat. When Rock won’t quit Cena throws him back inside and gets a two count. We’re definitely in another gear now. Off to a bearhug on Rock’s bad ribs but he won’t quit. Rock finally comes back with right hands to escape and a DDT for two.

Rock wins a quick slugout and hits the spinebuster but Cena picks the leg to break up the Elbow. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence but the AA is escaped. A double clothesline puts both guys down as they take a breather. After a few moments on the mat they slug it out with Cena punching Rock down to his knees. Rock fires off more punches and does You Can’t See Me before trying the spit punch, only to get caught in the AA for a close two.

Cena goes to pick Rock up but takes the Rock Bottom for two for the Brahma Bull. Rock stomps away in the corner but walks into a side slam for two. John goes up top for a very delayed top rope Fameasser for another near fall. Rock comes back with a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter but he doesn’t have it on well. Cena crawls to the rope so Rock lets go and pounds away. Back to the Sharpshooter (why don’t more people do that? Even if Cena won’t quit you can still do more damage) but Cena makes the rope immediately again. Gee maybe if he had pulled Cena from the rope it would have been harder to escape.

Rock fires off some elbows to the chest and sends Cena into the steps for good measure. Back inside and Cena tries a sunset flip of all things but immediately shifts into the STF in the middle of the ring. Cena drags him back to the middle of the ring and Rock is starting to fade. We get an old school arm check and Rock holds it up on the third drop. I love stuff like that. Rock makes it to the ropes and as they get back up, Cena walks into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Another slugout goes to Rock and the spinebuster sets up the Elbow……for TWO. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts and can you blame them a bit? Both guys are spent here but Cena hits a catapult into the corner for two. With nothing left to try, Cena loads up the middle rope AA but Rock shoves him off and tries a top rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the BIG AA for an even closer two. Cena begs the referee to call it three. That gets him nowhere so Cena loads up a People’s Elbow. As he hits the second rope, Rock nips up and hits the Rock Bottom for the shocking pin.

Rating: A+. What else do you want from this? This is one of those matches which could have gone either way as they beat the tar out of each other. They had the big fight atmosphere down to perfection here and while the ending is still questionable (yet not completely wrong), it’s exactly what you want a Wrestlemania main event to be. This somehow surpassed the hype and was excellent in every sense of the word.

Cena sits on the ramp, stunned.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best shows of all time, bar none. The two big matches delivered far better than you could have hoped for, the Raw title match was great, nothing sucked, there are multiple Wrestlemania Moments on here, and the crowd was white hot all night. This is easily in the highest levels of Wrestlemanias ever and it’s every bit as good as it was when I watched it live. Great stuff and absolutely worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original:

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

Redo: A

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

I shortchanged that main event terribly. It’s a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus re-debuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

 

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