Monday Night Raw
Date: December 24, 2012
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Greetings and welcome to the dumbest idea WWE has had in YEARS. That’s right, it’s a three hour show on CHRISTMAS FREAKING EVE. You know, the night when the target audience goes to bed early to make sure they’re up early the next morning. I’m REALLY not looking forward to this and odds are it’s going to suck because they don’t want to waste good ideas. Let’s get to it.

We open with the roster singing a WWE themed Christmas carol which to be fair is pretty funny stuff.

Here’s Santa Claus to be guest host tonight. He’s handing out presents….and gets run over by Alberto’s car. In something I never thought I’d have to say, Santa does a stretcher job. He gives a thumb up as we take a break. This was so campy that it was hilarious.

Back with Booker telling everyone to get through the night because that’s what Santa would want. Everyone yells at Del Rio when Cena comes in to really rub it in. Alberto says it wasn’t his fault, so Booker makes Cena vs. Del Rio in a Miracle on 34^th Street Fight. Cena: “I’LL DO IT FOR SANTA!”

Cody Rhodes vs. Kane

Kane throws him around to start but Cody comes back with a dropkick to the knee. Rhodes is sent to the floor but manages to send Kane’s arm into the post from the outside. Not bad. Back in and a middle rope dropkick gets one on Kane. Cole: “Kane is in his Christmas gear in red here.” Cody works over the arm as the match slows down a lot. A side slam puts Cody back down and there’s the clothesline from the top. Rhodes goes after the arm to block the chokeslam and hits the Disaster Kick to the shoulder. That means absolutely nothing as the chokeslam pins Cody at 5:53.

Rating: C. Just a match here as the Scholars and HELL NO continue to fight despite the champs beating them every single time they’ve fought. I don’t know of anyone who has fallen further in a year than Cody has, as he hasn’t done a thing of note this year aside from grow an overly popular mustache. Nothing to see here.

Rosa Mendes/Tamina Snuka/Aksana/Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox/Natalya/Kaitlyn/Layla

Natalya and Aksana start things off as this is your usual excuse to have eight chicks in sexy Christmas outfits. Aksana gets beaten up so it’s off to Alicia who is thrown around by the hair. Off to Layla who I’m digging as a blonde. Rosa distracts Layla so Tamina can get in a shot so the match can drag on even longer. Layla finally comes back with a dropkick and it’s off to Kaitlyn to clean house. A shoulder gets two on Eve and everything breaks down. We get the parade of finishers (Aksana’s is a spinebuster) and Kaitlyn pins Eve at 5:27 after a gutbuster.

Rating: D. Eve looked great, Layla looked great, the rest didn’t look bad, that’s it. These matches happen every year and no one cares other than 13 year old boys. Kaitlyn needs to beat Eve for the freaking title already so no one can care anymore for the next few months again. Nothing to see here.

AJ and Dolph cuddle up and watch TLC.

We recap Santa’s injuries.

Here are some lumberjacks for the next match.

Big Show vs. Sheamus

Lumberjack match as I said. They shove each other around to start until Sheamus grabs a headlock. This is non-title as well. Show shoves him around a bit but gets guillotined on the top rope, allowing Sheamus to hit the ten forearms and the shoulder off the top. The Brogue Kick is loaded up but Show hits the floor and we hit a break.

Back with Show running over Sheamus before cranking on Sheamus’ arm. He even sings a Christmas song as he cranks. Sheamus grabs Show’s nose to escape but a slam attempt doesn’t work. We head to the floor where the lumberjacks work over Sheamus as they’re required to do. Back in and Sheamus is suplexed down for no cover, allowing Tensai to get in a cheap shot on Sheamus.

Show goes for some punches in the corner but Sheamus comes out of it with an electric chair drop. Cool visual there. Sheamus pounds away but gets caught in a chokeslam for two. Show’s standing legdrop gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. We hit a LONG bearhug until Sheamus punches his way out of it. Sheamus pounds away in the corner but gets caught by a clothesline for two.

A big old elbow gets two more for Show so he loads up the Vader Bomb. Naturally it misses so there’s White Noise for two. A Brogue Kick is blocked and the pale one is sent to the floor, triggering another brawl. Back in and Show misses the WMD, allowing Sheamus to hit a GREAT Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: C+. These two work well together as always, but it doesn’t say much when a PPV match is now thrown onto TV with the world champion getting pinned 100% clean in the middle of the ring. Sheamus vs. Show simply does not need to continue, but since there are barely any top heels on Smackdown anymore, what else is Sheamus supposed to do?

Sheamus and the good lumberjacks clear the ring.

We get the Miz segment with the Muppets from Tribute to the Troops.

Here’s Otunga to explain why Santa was at fault earlier. Cue Ryder to say how stupid this is and squash Otunga.

Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga

Ryder starts fast and gets two off some clotheslines. Otunga takes it into the corner and pounds away a bit before getting two off a posing neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock which goes nowhere, so Otunga goes back to the clotheslines. Back to the chinlock as we have another match that is going on longer than it has any right to do. Ryder fights up and hits his usual stuff like the middle rope dropkick and the Broski Boot. After the first one is blocked, the Rough Ryder gets the pin at 4:53.

Rating: D. If it wasn’t clear earlier that they were filling in time tonight with anything they could find, I think they’ve proven it now. Nothing to see here but the fans still respond to Ryder. Not like he should have another shot or anything, because he’s just done in a few months what writers can’t accomplish in months: getting himself over.

Booker and Teddy are in the back when Brad Maddox comes in. The usual results follow and his opponent will be an elf.

Kofi Kingston/The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro/Wade Barrett

Miz and Cesaro start things off with Antonio shoving him around with ease. Now Miz frustrates Cesaro before hitting a flapjack for two. Barrett comes in and pounds away a bit before getting dropkicked down for two. Off to Kofi to work on the English dude’s arm. Wade bails from Trouble in Paradise and here’s Cesaro again. A kind of spinebuster puts Kofi down and the heels take over again.

Barrett comes back in for a surfboard hold, followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. There’s the gutwrench suplexe from Cesaro and we hit a fast chinlock. Kofi kicks him away and there’s the not very hot tag to Miz. He cleans house on Barrett before hitting the top rope ax handle for no cover. The Finale is broken up by Cesaro but Miz kicks Wade into the ropes. Kofi kicks Wade in the head, allowing Miz to hit the Finale for the pin at 5:56. Barrett got pinned if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but they’re still trying to give Miz a push no matter how awkward it’s coming off so far. At least they’re trying hard for once. Other than that though, nothing to see as AGAIN they’re just letting these feuds continue for the sake of letting them continue. Wasn’t Miz feuding with Sandow though?

Santa is still hurt.

AJ gives Ziggler his MITB case and takes off her robe to reveal a Ziggler shirt and her tiny shorts. Kissing ensues.

Brad Maddox vs. Great Khali

Maddox tells Khali that he (Khali) isn’t an elf. Maddox gets the chest chops that he deserves and is sent to the floor where Horny works him over a bit. Brad goes after the knee and takes Khali down, working on the knee in the process. A chop puts Maddox down but he poses from one knee. Brad goes to the middle rope, gets chopped, clotheslined and hit with a Punjabi Plunge for the pin at 3:12 Screw rating this. It was a squash and that’s it.

Khali and Horny sing and dance.

Here are Punk and Heyman to make fun of Christmas carols and Pittsburgh. Punk makes fun of the Steelers by saying he’s a Cubs fan. Girl in the audience: “WHO ARE THE CUBS?” Idiot. Punk says Ryback has ruined Christmas and Hanukah, but has Ryback been punished? Of course not. Instead, he gets a title shot on the first Raw of the new year. Maybe Ryback should get a shot if there was ANY proof that Punk was working with Maddox or the Shield, but there’s no proof of that at all.

Punk complains about being in rehab and physical therapy over the holidays, unlike the Pittsburgh fans who are out bar hopping. Heyman talks about how Punk has been the victim of a conspiracy over the last 400 days. Ryback has failed in both of his title shots but he’s getting a third. Cue Ryback, who announces that the match on the seventh is a TLC match. He starts a TLC match and that’s that.

Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow

It’s a battle of the classical music. Bryan shouts NO at Sandow when Sandow asks for silence. Bryan tries a fast NO Lock but Damien heads to the floor where Bryan hits the knee off the apron. Back in and there’s a running dropkick in the corner for one for Daniel. There’s the moonsault out of the corner by Bryan and it’s time for the kicks to the chest. A big kick misses though and Sandow rolls him up for tow.

Bryan is sent to the apron and into the buckle, knocking him to the outside. A few shots into the apron get two for Damien and we hit the chinlock. Sandow hits the Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow for two. He loads up a superplex but gets knocked down, but Bryan misses the swan dive. Not that it matters as there’s the NO Lock for the tap out at 5:38.

Rating: C+. Another decent match here that really accomplished nothing. We get it: the champs can beat the Scholars. They’ve done it about ten times now, which means I’d bet on the Scholars getting the titles before the end of the Rumble. The match itself was fine, but there was nothing to remember in it at all.

Prime Time Players/Tensai/3MB vs. Brodus Clay/Santino Marella/Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd/Usos

Take 12 guys, throw them into a tag match I guess. Brodus and Young start and Darren has his arm worked on. Off to Tyson who continues the idea before hitting some dropkicks. Off to Tensai who suplexes Gabriel, only to get kicked in the face. Hot tag brings in Santino who gets taken down by Mahal. Off to Jey vs. O’Neal as we try to get everyone into the match.

Titus throws him around but gets sent into the corner, allowing for double tags to Jimmy and Slater. A Bubba Bomb puts Heath down and there’s the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Brodus runs over everyone. Finishers are hit everywhere until everyone hits a big move on Slater. Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash on him for the pin at 6:13.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but the ending with a bunch of finishers hitting in a row is almost always cool. The tag division is falling down again as only about two teams are getting to do anything anymore. Still though, at least these guys are getting on TV which is more than they’ve done in awhile.

HELL NO exchanges presents. Bryan gets a Slammy and Kane gets a puppy. Kane: “Thanks! I’m starving!” Bryan loses it and takes the puppy back.

AJ and Dolph read the Night Before Christmas, with AJ enjoying beating up Cena far too much. That’s a running theme tonight. The make out under some mistletoe and knock over the Christmas tree.

Santa is still unconscious but his heart monitor starts playing Jingle Bells. His feet start knocking together, and the fans ERUPT. You can’t beat the classics.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Street fight here. Cena pounds away in the corner to start and we quickly head to the floor. Del Rio whips him into the steps and goes after the arm. Isn’t Del Rio supposed to be a face? Back in and Alberto gets a mic, saying that what happened to Santa was an accident. Del Rio hits Cena with the mic, but Cena blocks another try and shouts SAAAAAAAAANTA before pounding away on Del Rio.

John heads to the floor to open a present, finding a chair. A few shots to Del Rio’s back get two as Ricardo pulls the referee to the floor. After a chase, Del Rio catches Cena coming in with a clothesline. Ricardo hands Del rio a present, and it’s a pie. You know whose head that is going upside. I hope Ricardo knows a good cleaner. They head up the ramp and Cena opens another package, finding a television monitor. Del Rio is knocked loopy as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio in trouble and opening another package. Inside this one…..is a teddy bear. Del Rio throws the bear at John, giving Cena the line of the night: Cena: “A BEAR? SERIOUSLY???” Ricardo gets wrapped up in a wreath and has a box broken over his head. Cena knocks Del Rio down and goes to look for another weapon. Fans: “USE THE TREE! USE THE TREE! USE THE TREE!” Del Rio gets crushed with the tree and Cena opens another box, finding a bowling ball. He rolls it down the ramp, hitting a perfectly placed Del Rio. Cena is a good shot actually.

John pulls out a fire extinguisher and sprays Del Rio down to make it a white Christmas. Cole and Jerry are probably reaching a record for the most Christmas puns in one night. Ricardo jumps on Cena’s back and actually chokes him down…..BUT SANTA IS BACK! He whacks Ricardo over the head with his bag of toys and puts an oven mit on his hand. That acts as a sock in this case for a mandible claw, which sets up the AA for the pin at 14:53.

Rating: B. If you didn’t like this match, I feel sorry for your non-existent soul. I had a blast with this match as it was exactly the kind of fun and goofy match that we needed to end a show like this. Seriously, how can you not have fun with something like this? The presents were a great touch and having Santa come out at the end was great.

Cena and presumably Mick Claus hug to end the show. Cena is worried about the time because Santa has work to do.

Overall Rating: B. I still say this show didn’t need to exist and should have been the Tribute to the Troops special, but the main event was very fun. Nothing here was bad at all and having the Santa story going through the show was fine. They didn’t add anything here and they really didn’t need to as no one is watching tonight. This was a fun episode but the rating is going to be lucky to crack a 2.0.

Results

Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam

Kaitlyn/Alicia Fox/Natalya/Layla b. Rosa Mendes/Aksana/Eve Torres/Tamina Snuka – Gutbuster to Eve

Sheamus b. Big Show – Brogue Kick

Zack Ryder b. David Otunga – Rough Ryder

The Miz/Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett/Antonio Cesaro – Skull Crushing Finale to Barrett

Great Khali b. Brad Maddox – Punjabi Plunge

Usos/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel/Brodus Clay/Santino Marella b. 3MB/Tensai/Prime Time Players – Superfly Splash to Slater

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Apparently the 2012 Survivor Series did a horrible amount of domestic buys.  This tells you three things.1. Having Ryback, the unstoppable monster, lose more or less killed him with the audience.  The audience isn’t stupid and knew that the only chance he had was inside the Cell, and that anything after that was a waste of their time to watch.

2. Ryback is going to lose his match on the 7th and his character is going to be crushed even further.

3. Having Rock announced six months in advance is going to turn out being a really bad idea.

This match and angle popped into my head today and it still amazes me how perfect it was.Back in 1987, Randy Savage lost the Intercontinental Title to Ricky Steamboat in arguably the greatest match of all time.  Well in 1987, Steamboat wanted to take some time off, so Vince had to take the title off him.  On Superstars one day, comedy wrestler the Honky Tonk Man shocked the world by beating Steamboat for the title (Interesting note: this was a surprise if nothing else because of how fast Steamboat lost the belt.  In the 8+ years that the title had been around at that point, the shortest reign was over five months and three reigns had been over a year.  That title did not change hands that often.  The next reign shorter than Steamboat’s wasn’t until 1992).

Now this is where things get interesting.  In essence, this would be like Heath Slater winning the title today.  The fans instantly believed that the first person with talent that faced Honky would win the belt back.  That didn’t happen, so everyone knew it would be the next guy.  Well Honky survived that too, so the third guy HAD to be the one to get the belt off of him.  Every time, the less talented Honky Tonk would get himself disqualified or counted out and sneak away with the title.  This infuriated the fans who wanted ANYBODY to pound Honky’s face in and give him the punishment that he deserved for cheating so much.

This is where Vince had the fans and he knew it.  The idea was simple: Honky had to lose eventually, so let’s see how long we can drag this out for.  This went on for well over a year, with Honky surviving against every midcard star in the company, ranging from Jim Duggan to Brutus Beefcake to Ricky Steamboat to Randy Savage to Jake Roberts to Tito Santana.  Everyone knew he had to lose someday, and people would put their money on the table to see him finally do it.  It was a money making machine, but it had to end somewhere.

This brings us to the first ever Summerslam and the Intercontinental Title match.  Brutus Beefcake had been named as challenger, but due to an attack by Ron Bass, he had to drop out.  This left no challenger for Honky, so he said something very stupid: “Get me somebody out here to wrestle.  I don’t care who it is.”  A few seconds pass, and Ultimate Warrior’s music hits.  The roof gets blown off, because everyone knew what was about to happen.  At this point, Warrior had done nothing but squash jobbers and beat up Hercules for a year and a half.  This would be like if over the summer, Cesaro issued an open challenge and we heard FEED ME MORE.

From the time that Warrior’s music hit to the time that the final bell ring, 54 seconds passed.  Warrior punched him twice, hit a shoulder block, a clothesline and a splash to win the title.  It still remains one of the loudest pops I have ever heard.  The brilliance here continues to astonish me.  Ultimate Warrior may be a lot of things, but clever is not on that list.  He comes out of nowhere and wins the title that no one else could pry out of Honky’s hands through nothing but sheer power and intensity.  Honky didn’t have the chance to use any of his old tricks and the fans got exactly what they wanted.

It was absolute brilliance and still is one of the best angles from beginning to end in WWF history.

This came up on my forums earlier today and it made me think a little bit.Right now, wrestling is clearly trending downward.  Ratings are going down and it’s clear that public interest isn’t what it used to be.  Among many other things, I think people forget how big a role the Benoit incident plays in this.  It’s by far and away the biggest mainstream story you’ll see in wrestling arguably ever and it sent shockwaves through everyone.  People looked at wrestling and saw a monster who was about to win a title murdering his wife and son before killing himself.  That was a wakeup call for a lot of fans and it made people walk away from wrestling.  The importance of this to the modern product hasn’t gone away and isn’t going to for a very, very long time.

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 20, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s Championship Thursday, meaning we’ve got three title matches in a single night. The Knockouts Title, the TV Title and the World Title are all on the line tonight, because this monthly show is on par with a $40 PPV they just had. Other than that we’re likely to get more of the Hogans arguing over Bully Ray because that’s the focus of Impact anymore. WWE turned it up this week so TNA needs to follow suit. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap of last week’s show. The hosts talk about the show tonight also.

TV Title: Kurt Angle vs. D-Von

D-Von is defending and Angle has a bad ankle due to an attack last week/a legit groin injury. Angle brings out his own guys to counter Aces and 8’s in the form of Garrett, Wes and Joe. Angle gets behind D-Von to start but can’t snap off the suplex. Instead it’s a clothesline to take the champion down as Angle can’t move very well right now. D-Von is sent to the floor and the backup guys get in a big brawl while Angle waits on him to come back. All of the guys on the floor are ejected, but in the melee D-Von chop blocks Angle.

We take a break and come back with D-Von holding a basic leg lock on Angle but Kurt grabs the rope. D-Von cannonballs down on the leg ala Flair for two. That’s not old school enough for him though as it’s a Funk spinning toe hold now. Another chop block keeps Angle in trouble as Todd talks about the power struggle. What power? Aces and 8’s have the lowest title on the roster and that’s it.

Angle hits a middle rope missile dropkick to put both guys down, followed by some clotheslines. The overhead belly to belly gets two but D-Von escapes the Angle Slam and hits a really lame spinebuster for two. Angle starts rolling Germans and puts on the ankle lock, but here are Aces and 8’s again. Kurt’s three guys come out to counter them and in the distraction, the big masked man hits Angle in the back with a pipe so D-Von can retain the title at 11:08.

Rating: D+. Angle was hobbled here and that left D-Von to carry the match. That doesn’t make for an entertaining match as D-Von just isn’t good enough to hang with Kurt, even if he’s injured. On top of that, this still does nothing for Aces and 8’s. At the end of the day, it’s still D-Von. That doesn’t make anyone care at all.

Time for the Knockouts deliberation which is an excuse to have Brooke on TV more. ODB is thrown out because she has an injured husband.

Kenny King says he won last week and that’s all that matters. They’ll make good partners tonight though.

Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan vs. Rob Van Dam/Kenny King

Does Morgan plan to do anything with that robe or is it just there for now? Van Dam and Joey start things off with the champion (Van Dam) kicking Joey down. The standing moonsault gets two and it’s off to King. Morgan comes in and kicks King’s head off before it’s back to Ryan for his non-existent offense. Matt smacks King in the back of the head before it’s back to Ryan. King sunset flips him out of the corner and there’s the hot tag to RVD. King and Van Dam dropkick Morgan down and kick Ryan as well, but Kenny bails when confronted by Morgan. Matt kicks Rob’s head off to give Ryan the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here for the most part, but Ryan would be the outlier. He’s so useless and is only there for the occasional sight gag on a commercial. He’s another indy guy that has done nothing of note once he’s gotten to the main stage. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that he owned the only company he did well in too.

We recap AJ’s speech last week.

Kazarian doesn’t care about AJ but likes that we’re five days from Christmas. He has a surprise for the fans.

Here’s Hulk for his weekly chat. He can’t believe how awesome this company is anymore and talks about how there’s going to be voting for the Impact Wrestler of the Year with Jeff Hardy being announced on January 3. Oh wait I mean the winner, which only could be Jeff Hardy. It’s not like he’s going to destroy everyone else in voting or anything. Anyway here’s Aces and 8’s to protest. D-Von says that this was Aces and 8’s year and says that next year will be as well. The bikers start to get in the ring but Bully Ray runs out for the save with his chain. D-Von says Ray is next. Hogan still won’t shake Ray’s hand.

Hardy is ready for Aries. Thankfully he says this instead of thinking it.

Tessmacher gets eliminated in another stupid Knockouts segment.

Here’s Kaz with some presents for Daniels. There’s a Christmas Tree in the ring with a picture of Daniels and Kaz on top. “That tree has TWO stars on it!” Daniels is brought out with an appletini and a scarf to sit on a throne. Kaz brings out Santa who is rather slim here. They give Santa some Zumbz pants in a funny bit. Santa asks Daniels if he’s been a good boy this year. Daniels says he got rid of the biggest loser in TNA and wants to use his Christmas wish on Styles’ kids, because their dad is so worthless.

Cue Storm who says he doesn’t like hearing these guys run down Christmas. Kaz says put him on the naughty list, which draws Daniels into the ring. Santa says hold it and Storm doesn’t think he’s the real Kris Kringle. If he’s the real Santa, why didn’t Storm get a real Red Ryder BB gun when he was six. Santa: “I’m the real Santa.” Storm: “Shut up.” Storm wants to know what he asked for last Christmas and Santa comes up with a Travis Tritt CD. Actually he wanted a case of beer, so here’s a superkick for Santa. Storm throws DVDs to the fans.

Aries asks if you could hear it. Apparently no one can hear his thoughts, but tonight he’ll prove he’s the best in the universe.

1-3-13 is Sting. Ok then.

Aces and 8’s gets yelled at by their boss for letting Bully Ray keep Hogan from getting his beating. D-Von says he has someone that can fix this and says they can be here next week. A vote says ok do it.

Mickie gets the shot.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara

Mickie grabs a bunch of quick rollups for two each but Jesse trips her up to give Tara control. A hair beal gets two and Tara pounds away a bit. She pulls on Mickie’s face and whips her into the corner with authority. Whose authority that is I’m not sure but she certainly had it. The spinning side slam is countered into a headscissors but the referee is with Jesse. A powerslam gets two for the champion but Mickie slams her down to get a breather.

They slug it out from their knees and Mickie hits a sloppy jumping DDT for two. Jesse and Tara try to leave, so Mickie dives on Jesse off the top. Jesse interferes AGAIN, allowing Tara to hit something like an atomic drop which bends Mickie’s knee back for the pin to retain at 7:00. Oh ok it was a facebuster.

Rating: D+. This started ok and then fell apart at the end. I had a hard time keeping up with what was going on in the ring, and in a match this simple that should never be the case. Nothing to see here as this match literally happened less than two weeks ago. Why would I want to see it again?

Joseph Park is still training in OVW and he’s still really bad at it. Joseph: “THAT HURT!” Danny Davis: “Do you know why that hurt? BECAUSE YOU’RE STUPID!” He sees blood coming out of his mouth though and turns into Abyss, killing his training partner with a Black Hole Slam.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

Hardy is defending. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking it into the corner. Aries slams him down but the slingshot hilo hits knees. Jeff pounds away in the corner and the challenger chills on the floor. Back in and Aries hits a running elbow to the face for two but Aries’ brainbuster is blocked. We head back to the floor where Hardy misses a dive into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Aries getting two off a slingshot hilo. Aries pounds away for a bit more until Hardy gets a boot up. The champ dives into a boot though and we’re right back where we started. A front suplex puts Austin down but Aries comes back with a forearm and a running dropkick in the corner for two. The brainbuster is escaped again so Hardy hits a backwards facebuster out of a powerbomb for two. In other words imagine a powerbomb lift but Hardy keeps rotating Aries backwards so that his face slams into the mat.

Hardy hits the Twisting Stunner but can’t cover fast enough. Aries gets an elbow up in the corner and tells the referee he sucks. He jumps into an atomic drop but manages to kick Jeff into the referee. A low blow stops Hardy and Aries FINALLY hits the brainbuster. In a cool ending, Aries covers Hardy but Roode pulls the referee out. Bobby counts two and as Aries turns around, he gets a big spinebuster from Roode. The Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton to retain at 18:05.

Rating: B-. These two have chemistry together and it sets up the three way match even more, or at least Roode vs. Aries. It would seem like Roode is turning, but I think he’s going to be much more of a tweener than an actual face, which is the right move for him. Good match here and a nice ending to a bad show.

Hogan says he’s going to fix the title picture and says Aces and 8’s is the real distraction. He says not to worry about Brooke and Bully, but sees the two of them kissing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show didn’t really do much for me. These Championship Thursday shows are never anything of note because NOTHING EVER CHANGES. It’s just a title match but when you never see a title CHANGE, it doesn’t mean anything anymore. It’s pretty clear we’re headed for a three way at Genesis, which is ok but it doesn’t really do much for me. The idea of someone new in Aces and 8’s next week might help a bit, but it needs to be someone who is actually able to challenge the big names. As usual, nothing has changed as of ten PM on a Thursday night, which is getting old.

Results

D-Von b. Kurt Angle – Pin after a masked man hit Angle with a pipe

Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan b. Kenny King/Rob Van Dam – Carbon Footprint to Van Dam

Tara b. Mickie James – Facebuster

Jeff Hardy b. Austin Aries – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: December 19, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Tony Dawson

We’re into the new cycle of NXT now, but the problem continues to be the gap between the current WWE product and the current NXT product. It’s a bit off putting to have the Shield version of Rollins on Raw and this version of him on NXT. It looks like we’re moving towards Rollins vs. Graves in the main event scene around here. Oh and Big Show vs. Bo Dallas is tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Dallas vs. Big Show.

Welcome Home.

Primo/Epico vs. Usos

Jimmy starts with Primo and we quickly hit the mat. There’s an armdrag to put Primo down but Primo comes back with a hammerlock. Primo rolls away from an arm hold by Jimmy and we’ve got a standoff. Rosa gives Primo a quick kiss which earns him an elbow to the face. Back to the armbar and here’s Jey for the first time. Epico comes in as well and immediately puts on a chinlock which doesn’t last long either. This is a back and forth match so far but no one has any kind of long term advantage.

The Usos load up the Superfly Splash but Primo bails to the floor for a breather. Jey is all cool with that and hits a HUGE dive to take out the cousins. We take a break and come back with Epico holding a chinlock on Jey. Epico rolls some belly to back suplexes for two. Primo gets the same off a dropkick as the fans want Carlito. Jey avoids a dropkick in the corner and gets Primo caught in the Tree of Woe for a few seconds.

Hot tag brings in Jimmy but the referee didn’t see it. Nice touch. Jey counters a whip into the corner and hits a big backdrop to give himself a breather. There’s the real hot tag to Jimmy and a Bubba Bomb takes Primo down. The running Umaga attack in the corner sets up a Samoan Drop for two. Everything breaks down and a Jimmy superkick sets up the Superfly Splash to Epico for the pin at 8:28 shown of 11:58.

Rating: C+. They stuck with the formula here and it worked really well. The Usos are so talented and smooth together out there but they can barely ever get on TV. The few times recently where they were on television, they got the biggest reactions of the match. Interesting how that works. Anyway, good stuff here and a nice opener.

Post match the lights go out and it’s Ascension (complete with recently released Kenneth Cameron) on the screen, telling the Usos that the war is far from over.

Camacho/Aiden English vs. Big E. Langston

Camacho can pick anyone to fight Langston with him and he picks this jobber? English has to start and is immediately pounded down by knees in the ribs and a running clothesline. Langston drags English over to Camacho and extends English’s hand for a tag but Camacho bails. Big Ending ends English at 1:12.

Post match there’s another Big Ending and the FIVE, then does both of them again. The reactions for the FIVE thing are tremendous.

Percy Watson vs. Kassius Ohno

Watson speeds things up to start and pounds on Ohno’s back to start. Ohno comes back with a suplex and a corner splash followed by some high energy stomps/knees to the head. Off to a dragon sleeper by Kassius followed by some choking on the top rope. They chop it out a bit but Ohno charges into an elbow to the face. Percy makes his comeback but the Persecution is blocked. Ohno Blade (or whatever he’s calling that elbow now) knocks Watson out cold at 5:23.

Rating: D. I am so bored with Ohno. The guy is talented but he’s got NOTHING going for him at all. He’s a bad guy who likes to strike people, but his attitude is all wrong for it. There’s nothing to dislike about him and that makes him a weak heel. He’s just kind of there and has his time every week. Watson continues to be nothing.

Ohno shouts at Regal post match.

Here’s Seth Rollins for a chat with JR. Seth says he’s here for anyone that wants to fight him and he’s not hard to find. Corey Graves jumps Rollins from behind and puts him in the 13^th Step leg lock. Graves talks about how his tattoos all tell a story and now he wants the Title. He says Rollins feeds off the fans and he’ll see Seth in his nightmares. Not bad here but calling himself the Savior of Misbehavior isn’t going to get him over.

Cena tells us to watch the NXT Year In Review show next week.

Bo Dallas vs. Big Show

Non-title I’d assume. This is about what you would expect to start: Dallas goes nuts with strikes and is easily shoved away. The beating goes on for awhile until Dallas gets on his back and chokes away. Show falls back on him to break the hold but misses an elbow. Dallas escapes the chokeslam but a bulldog is countered with a basic slam. WMD ends this at 4:53.

Rating: D. What in the world were you expecting here? It’s a tiny minor league guy against a massive world champion. I have no idea why they picked Show here because it doesn’t do Dallas any good and the match sucked as a result. I don’t get this one at all, as there are a ton of guys you could bring in to beat Dallas but get a better match out of him at the same time. Odd choice here.

Overall Rating: C. This didn’t work all that well for me. It wasn’t a bad show or anything, but this didn’t really advance anything. The only storyline stuff we got was Ascension vs. Usos which we’ve done before and Ohno staring at Regal. Oh and Graves vs. Rollins, but we already knew that was coming. Not much to see here but it wasn’t terrible or anything.

Results

Usos b. Epico/Primo – Superfly Splash to Epico

Big E. Langston b. Camacho/Aiden English – Big Ending to English

Kassius Ohno b. Percy Watson – Ohno Blade

Big Show b. Bo Dallas – WMD

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Tribute to the Troops 2012
Date: December 19, 2012
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

This is the tenth anniversary of the biggest publicity stunt WWE does every year. The wrestling tonight is going to be light and the ratings are going to be a lot more lax with this show. The main idea here is to have the troops feel good and there’s really nothing else to it other than that. Let’s get to it.

The standard video from the President and opening video of “it means more to us” start things off.

Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show

The governor of Virginia is here. They’re playing this up as live or at least recent, as they mention Orton’s separated shoulder from the Smackdown that aired 12 days ago. Actually the injury seemed to occur in this match so who knows what’s going on. Orton and Ziggler start things off with Barrett pounding away. The commentary is talking about the stuff that happened in the last two nights, so either it was recorded later or they had some BIG spoilers given to Cole and JBL. Show and Ziggler are knocked to the floor and walk away for the countout at 2:20. Well that was pointless.

Oh never mind here’s Booker to say continue the match after a break. Back with Orton pounding on Dolph. Sheamus comes in and gets dropkicked down, but Show drops to the floor to tie his boot rather than face Sheamus. There are the ten forearms to Dolph’s chest and it’s back to Randy to pound away in the corner. He charges into a boot though and Ziggler takes over. A dropkick gets two for Ziggler and it’s off to Show for some pounding. Cole talks about cannonballs and muskets for some reason. Show misses a chop in the corner but Orton’s arm goes out. There’s the injury.

The referee immediately starts checking on him and we cut to the crowd, presumably to not see the X sign. A tag brings in Sheamus as Orton is looked at on the floor. You can see Cole with his head on his hand so I’m guessing he and JBL are just sitting there, meaning the commentary was done later. Sheamus cleans house but goes up top and jumps into a chokeslam. That’s reversed into White Noise for two as Ziggler makes the save, so Orton gives him a very weak looking RKO. Show gets one as well and it’s a Brogue Kick for the pin at 12:54 all together, counting the time Booker took to restart the match.

Rating: C-. I know these shows are for the live fans, but for the seventeen people that watch Smackdown every week, these pairings are so old it’s not even funny anymore. This is where mixing the main event and midcard would work wonders. Do that on Smackdown a bit and then matches like these aren’t as bad. The match wasn’t bad but the injury slowed things down a lot and you can’t hold that against them.

Fergie says hi.

The US Gymnastics Team (there are four here and the team is the Fierce Five) read off a teleprompter about how much they love the troops. Maybe the fifth was fixing the screen.

Gonzo talks to Pepe and Rizzo but the latter two are busy staring at Layla. Eh the Muppets can make anything better.

Flo Rida performs. I see what else is on.

Cena says everything you would expect him to say.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Ryback

Del Rio says we’re here for the troops, but today is also Ricardo’s birthday. He asks for a chorus of Happy Birthday, but Del Rio sings in Spanish because he’s a heel here….I think? Del Rio is slammed down to start but a Ricardo distraction lets Alberto get in some kicks to the leg. A powerslam puts Del Rio down but Ricardo jumps on Ryback’s back for the DQ at 1:30.

Ricardo takes a Shell Shock, as does Del Rio a few seconds later.

Kid Rock performs.

Josh tries to interview Kermit before he’s on MizTV. Statler and Waldorf have some insults of course.

Some soldiers TOUT IT OUT!

Time for MizTV with the Muppets. Miz doesn’t want to talk about Kermit’s new single, but rather he wants to expose him.  Miz wants to know the REAL story about what’s going on with Kermit and Piggy. To be fair, that’s a REALLY good question. Kermit: “For me, it’s still don’t ask don’t tell.” Ok point for a funny line. Kermit says he thought Miz was a good guy, but Miz insists he’s just awesome instead of a good guy.

The second guess is Miss Piggy. Miz wants to know what the deal is with these two, so Kermit says they’re just a frog and a pig who care about each other. This turns into a REALLY battle, so Miz says let’s have them get married RIGHT HERE. Damien Sandow interrupts. Kermit: “HALLELUJAH!” Piggy: “WHAT?” Kermit: “Uh I mean….How dare he???”

Sandow makes fun of Miz and says that 78% of the fans have taken the pictures of the Muppets out of their wallets and replaced them with pictures of Sandow. He says that Miz and Piggy are both overrated hams, causing Piggy to go into karate mode. Miz decks Sandow for her.

Damien Sandow vs. The Miz

This is joined in progress after the break with the Muppets watching from the stage. Miz pounds away in the corner and we head to the outside. All Miz so far as he high fives some fans. Back in and Damien pounds away before we hit the chinlock. Kermit of course is having his nightly crisis on the stage until Miz comes back with a flapjack. The Reality Check is broken up and Sandow hits a kind of running Blockbuster for two, but Miz counters the pin into a rollup for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Kermit freaking out is always funny. I’m a die hard Muppets fan and they’ve been by far and away the highlight of the show so far. Just fun all around here, albeit with a boring match for the most part. At the end of the day though, if you want Miz to get over, having him defend the Muppets isn’t the worst idea in the world.

Piggy kisses Miz post match and he likes it.

The Miami Heat love the troops.

Katie Couric loves the troops.

Flo-Rida performs Wild Ones.

We look back at Tribute to the Troops over the years.

HELL NO is in the back and they need a third man to face 3MB. Bryan has picked Little Jimmy, and Kane likes the idea. Truth comes up and says that Little Jimmy’s cousin Ugly Frida is getting married and Little Jimmy has to be there, so it’s Truth teaming up with them tonight. After the match is over, they can go to the club or karaoke or kill some spiders.

Kane blames Bryan for this. Bryan: “IT’S NOT MY FAULT! NO! NO! NO!” A voice from off screen says yes, and it’s Animal from the Muppets. They shout at each other until Animal calls him Goatface. Bryan turns around and runs into…..a talking goat. “Cousin Daniel?” Too funny.

HELL NO/R-Truth vs. 3MB

We cut to a shot of the crowd during HELL NO’s entrance, apparently because Kane tripped and nearly fell off the stage during his entrance. McIntyre and Truth start things off with nothing going on. Bryan comes in and fires off some kicks in the corner, but HE HAS TIL FIVE. Mahal puts on a chinlock for no significant length of time before it’s off to Kane. He cleans house and pounds on Slater, hitting the side slam and top rope clothesline. Everything breaks down and Jinder and Heath break up a double chokeslam. Truth makes a blind tag and there’s the chokeslam to Mahal. Little Jimmy pins Slater at 3:27.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t supposed to be anything major. HELL NO needs some opponents in a hurry, as the division is already falling back into obscurity like it always has been. 3MB needs more character development as they can only be clueless schmucks for so long.

Kid Rock performs Born Free.

Cesaro makes fun of the USA and says Switzerland is better. He gets Cena tonight.

Sam the Eagle salutes Cena.

Some guy from Twilight and Sharon Stone love the troops.

John Cena vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro doesn’t even get an entrance. That should tell you where we’re going here. The Muppets introduce Cena, which is completely awesome. Cena pounds him down to start but Cesaro throws him into the corner to take over. They head to the floor with Cena being rammed into the steps. Back in and the gutwrench suplex gets two and here’s the comeback. Cena shrugs off everything Cesaro did, hits the Five Moves of Doom and wins with the AA at 5:23.

Rating: C. If you don’t get why this match happened the way it does, go watch a test pattern. That’s more on your intelligence level.

The locker room empties out and Cena gives a speech about how awesome AMERICA is to end the show. Oh wait there’s one more thing: some more wrestlers come out dressed as reindeer pulling Santa in a sleigh. I don’t recognize Santa this yeah but the idea is there. Cena throws gifts to the fans and the wrestler walks around high fiving people to really end the show. A closeup of Santa shows that it might (emphasis on that word) have been Johnny Ace.

Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t work for me. I get that it’s supposed to be a special, but that’s where it falls short: nothing about this felt special. It felt like a dull Smackdown with a few musical performances thrown in to fill in some time. The being in America part is understandable, but it really takes away a lot of the fun from these shows. It’s not bad, but after this many hours of WWE in the previous three days, it was REALLY hard to get into this show. Not terrible, but this should have been the Christmas Eve Raw. No one is going to watch that anyway, so why waste major stories on it? The Muppets were awesome though.

Results

Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show – Brogue Kick to Big Show

Ryback b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

The Miz b. Damien Sandow – Rollup

HELL NO/R-Truth b. 3MB – Little Jimmy to Slater

John Cena b. Antonio Cesaro – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Today (Tuesday) broke my all time record for views in a day.  The site has been doing better than it ever has since October and that’s because of all my readers.  Thank you for sticking around.  I can’t state how much I appreciate it.

KB

Smackdown
Date: December 18, 2012
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

This is a special show so that they can start taping the holiday episodes sooner. This is live as well as commercial free for no apparent reason. After last night’s Slammys, we’ve got a lot of places we can go now, so hopefully the show tonight is as good as Raw was last night. It’s hard to say what to expect from these shows though as they can be hit or miss. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last night as you would expect a show to do anymore.

The main event is Cena/Sheamus vs. Big Show/Ziggler as you would expect.

We open with MizTV which has to be the most frequent talk show segment in years. The guests tonight are Ziggler and AJ who haven’t been confirmed as a thing yet. Langston is with them as well. Ok considering AJ and Ziggler kissed on the stage, maybe they are a thing. Miz asks why all of this stuff has happened and AJ says ask Cena why he played with her heart. She lost her job as GM to keep Cena’s good name clean and we get a clip of Cena kissing AJ.

AJ goes on a rant about having her heart broken by Cena. We get a clip from thre weeks ago with Cena and Vickie talking about the bows Vickie found in the locker room. Cena made fun of them, AND THAT IS A PLOT POINT. Yes, an eight second line about FREAKING BOWS is the reason this story is happening. Then Cena told AJ to stop coming to the ring with him, like she was some dirty little secret. Cena is supposed to be better than that, but he broke her heart. Therefore, she broke Cena’s chances at TLC.

Miz asks who Langston is so AJ says he’s Big E. Langston. Ok then. Miz doesn’t really care about what’s going on because AJ is crazy. Apparently that work ticks her off, but she’s proven to Dolph that she’s not crazy. He doesn’t care that Cena won Superstar of the Year, because he stole the show and Cena’s girl. Miz makes fun of AJ for being a sl** and says Ziggler is the sixth member of One Direction. Langston lays out Miz.

Teddy comes up to talk to Booker T with a prospect for a job later. It’s Brad Maddox and Booker goes off on Teddy. Long says that Brad is a good prospect because he has a big social media following. Booker gives him the chance because Teddy says Booker knows what a second chance means. What is with the references to him being an ex-con lately? Maddox gets the match and finds out his opponent later.

Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

Rey’s music hits for some reason but there’s no Rey. Cara speeds things up to start and Damien bails to the floor. Back in and Cara walks the corner for the armdrag, followed up by a springboard missile dropkick. Cody breaks up a springboard something and Cara is down on the floor. That gets two for Sandow back inside, as does a suplex. A quick chinlock goes nowhere so there’s the Russian legsweep.

The Wind-Up Elbow misses, but Sin can’t get anything going. Back to the chinlock for a bit until Cara escapes and hits a quick cross body. Cara dives on the Scholars on the floor….and here comes the Shield. They have Mysterio’s mask and throw it at Cara, allowing Sandow to hit the Terminus for the pin, appropriately enough at 6:19.

Rating: D+. Dull match here which didn’t go anywhere. Shield attacking various people is still a good idea, because at least they’ve proven they can back it up. Not a terrible match here, but once Mysterio didn’t show up it was clear that something was up and Shield is the right idea. We still need some reasoning behind these attacks, but it’s not bad yet.

Post match, Shield destroys Cara and hurts his knee, which is likely a way to get Cara off TV for a legit knee problem he’s been having.

Flo-Rida and Miss Piggy waste some time so we can get Cara out of the ring.

Santino Marella vs. Tensai

This is fallout from the presentation of an award last night. Santino grabs a headlock to start but Tensai runs him over. Santino does his power walk thing but stupidly tries to slam the big bald guy. Instead he escapes a powerslam and tries a German suplex. That goes nowhere and a slam completely fails. Off to a weak looking chinlock by the monster before a cross body is no sold. Santino does his signature stuff and finally slams Albert. The Cobra is blocked and Santino is put in a sleeper. The Cobra hits the top of Tensai’s head to no effect. The backsplash misses Santino and he steals a pin that was clearly going to him the whole time at 4:18.

Rating: D-. Tensai, go away. Get off of my television, go back to Japan, go to Belarus, go wherever will take you, but get away from me. You’re a joke, not interesting, not anything to see, and just annoying overall. Just go away already so no one can miss you. Why he was hired back I have no idea.

Cara has a severely injured knee.

We recap the Cena/Flair/Punk/Heyman/HELL NO/Shield/Ryback segment from last night.

Kofi and HELL NO are in the back with Kane telling Kofi to watch over his shoulder for the Shield tonight. Bryan looks ticked off and apparently he’s mad for not winning a Slammy last night. Kofi pulls his Slammy out. “You mean like this one?” They try to console Bryan by reminding him that he got to hang out with Flair, but make the mistake of saying Flair has the best catchphrase ever. Bryan: “NO! NO! NO!” Funny stuff.

Kofi Kingston/HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett

Mysterio apparently has a neck injury from the attack by Shield. Kofi and Titus start but Kingston goes right for Wade, allowing the heels to take over. Young gets dropkicked down and here’s Bryan to kick him a lot. There’s the surfboard hold by Bryan and it’s off to Kane for a low dropkick to Young’s chest. Back to Daniel for a dropkick of his own as I think this match is going to last awhile.

Bryan fires off the kicks to Young in the corner but gets caught in a Stun Gun to change the momentum. Barrett comes in to pound away for a bit, but Bryan dives away for a tag to Kofi. The IC Champion goes off on Wade but Young breaks up Trouble in Paradise, allowing Barrett to clothesline Kofi to the floor. The Players work over Kingston as we look at the crowd to see if Shield is coming. Apparently Mysterio’s neck injury is a SEVERE neck injury and not just a regular one. Good to know.

Barrett pounds away on Kofi a bit for two before it’s back to Young. Kofi finally comes back with a tornado DDT out of the corner, allowing for a double hot tag to Kane and Titus. The masked man takes over and hits a side slam for two. The top rope clothesline misses and there’s the Clash of the Titus to Kane, but Bryan makes the save. Everything breaks down and Darren gets the tag. Bryan pulls Titus to the floor and the chokeslam pins Young at 10:45.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but where are we supposed to go with either of these feuds? HELL NO has beaten the Players time after time, while Kofi has beaten Barrett in their PPV title match. Then again, these feuds are likely going to keep going because that makes it easier on the writers, and Heaven forbid they have to figure out something new.

It’s the top of the hour so let’s hit that recap button.

Sheamus explains some UK comedy show to Cena but he doesn’t get it. He says Langston is the strongest person he’s ever faced, which seems to turn Sheamus on. Sheamus asks what’s up with AJ. “You can tell me, no one is around.” Cena whispers in Sheamus’ ear and Sheamus starts to laugh but is disturbed by something Cena says. John says more though and Sheamus isn’t sure what to think. He looks scared but Cena was kidding him. Sheamus: “But is that even possible?”

Here are Punk and Heyman with something to say. Punk says the fans are going to look back in the years and be shocked that they didn’t vote Punk Superstar of the Year. He talks about how the fans clearly don’t care about winning and losing, meaning they’re the kinds of parents who put their kinds in t-ball where they don’t keep score so the kids don’t know how big of a failure they are. Punk rips on Cena for being a mockery of the words on his shirt: Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.

This turns into an anti-Flair promo because Punk says he never loses. He’s been champion for nearly 400 days and he’s still here two weeks after having knee surgery. He’s not on strike like the Pittsburgh Penguins because he doesn’t have an off season. No one can beat him, and here’s Ryback. You know, that guy that loses every match he’s in anymore. Ryback actually talks, and says that on the first Raw of the year, he’s getting his title shot against Punk.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Ryback

Ryback throws Cesaro to the floor to start and pounds his head into the mat back inside. The Goldberg chant start and Ryback hits the Thesz Press and a splash. All Ryback so far. Cesaro bails to the floor before the Meat Hook can hit and gets his belt to leave. Ryback heads to the floor and tries to throw Antonio back in, but Cesaro escapes and sends Ryback into the steps for a nine count.

Back in and Antonio hooks a cobra sleeper for a few moments. Ryback misses a charge in the corner, sending his shoulder into the post. A middle rope European Uppercut gets two for Cesaro and it’s off to a cravate. Ryback fights up and pounds Cesaro down before hitting the Meat Hook. Shell Shock gets the clean pin at 5:11.

Rating: C. Erg. If you need to put Ryback over someone to keep him strong, PICK SOMEONE OTHER THAN THE FREAKING UNITED STATES CHAMPION. This was just a step above a squash as the steps and post did way more damage to Ryback than Cesaro did. The match was nothing good either, but the fans were WAY into it.

We see Miz going through Navy training. He also flies a plane. Riveting stuff.

AJ comes up to Kaitlyn in the back and Kaitlyn doesn’t want to talk to her. Kaitlyn tells AJ she’s tired of this and a brawl breaks out.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

We get a freaking recap of the brawl that just happened ON A SHOW WITH NO COMMERCIALS. REALLY? We REALLY NEEDED THAT??? Kaitlyn gets thrown down to start and Eve hits her running flip splash for two. We head to the floor with Eve still in control. Nothing happens there so here’s a Downward Spiral for two by Eve.

Off to a chinlock by the champion (Eve if that wasn’t clear) until Kaitlyn gets two off a small package. A sloppy middle rope sunset flip gets two for Kaitlyn as does the reverse DDT. Kaitlyn dives onto Eve off the apron to the flor as this just keeps going. Kaitlyn goes up but Eve grabs the referee’s foot….AND THAT’S A DQ at about 5:20.

Rating: D. OH GOOD FREAKING GRIEF. If there was EVER a time to change this stupid belt, it was right here. Kaitlyn isn’t anywhere near good in the ring and now we have to sit through a long match until we get to THAT stupid ending? Give me a freaking break. Terrible match with a bad ending on top of that.

Ziggler says he’s a future world champion when Show comes up. He threatens Ziggler and Langston looks to stare Show down, only to have AJ stop him. Show threatens to kill Dolph if he tries to cash in tonight.

We recap the Sheamus/Show stuff from last night which included the attempted cash in by Ziggler, only to see Cena spoil it. Jerk.

Brad Maddox vs. Brodus Clay

Brodus pounds away with headbutts to start and drops some elbows. Maddox comes back with a quick dropkick to the side of the head for one and we hit the chinlock. Brodus comes back with a splash in the corner and suplex to set up the splash for the pin at 2:08. Same Maddox match as always.

Post match it’s the Shield to beat down Brodus. They actually hit the SuperBomb.

Dolph Ziggler/Big Show vs. John Cena/Sheamus

Apparently Santa Claus is hosting Raw on Monday. Shouldn’t he be working? Cena and Ziggler start things off with Dolph ducking under a Cena punch and strutting a bit. Off to Show so Cena can fire away punches with little effect. Show misses the chop and gets dropkicked into the corner. Show pounds him right back down again and it’s off to Ziggler for some elbow drops.

Cena backdrops Ziggler down but can’t make the tag before Show comes back in. He stays in for about two seconds so it’s back to Ziggler. Dolph misses a splash in the corner and there’s the tag to Sheamus. He hits the ten forearms on the apron but has to stop to punch Show before he can hit White Noise. The Cloverleaf is broken up with Sheamus being kicked to the floor. Show takes Sheamus’ head off and the match slows down again.

Sheamus gets pounded on now as we hit the second heat segment of the match. Show gets in his usual power stuff, followed by Ziggler pounding away for awhile with his usual stuff. Back to Show whose chokeslam is countered into a DDT to put both guys down. The double tag brings in Cena to face Ziggler and everything breaks down. Sheamus and Show head to the floor and then up the ramp as Ziggler gets two off the Zig Zag. There’s the AA to Dolph but Langston comes in for the DQ at 11:30.

Rating: C-. Why, it’s almost like this was EXACTLY THE SAME THING THEY DID LAST NIGHT. Good grief are the writers that creatively bankrupt? I mean, it’s the NEXT DAY and you can’t come up with another idea? This match did very little to make me feel better about this show, which has been the same story that this match had: no reason for it to exist.

The heels pose to end the show. Seriously, that’s it. Oh wait we do get a commercial for Tribute to the Troops because EIGHT HOURS OF TV THIS WEEK ISN’T ENOUGH.

Overall Rating: D. What in the world was the point in this being a special? The lack of commercials makes an already tiring show even more exhausting as you don’t get a breather if you want to see the whole thing. The main event was your standard main event tag match and it’s nothing to see at all. There’s nothing of note here and while it’s not a horrible show, it falls into the same category Smackdown stays in anymore: completely unnecessary viewing.

Results

Damien Sandow b. Sin Cara – Terminus

Santino Marella b. Tensai – Pin after Tensai missed a backsplash

HELL NO/Kofi Kingston b. Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett – Chokeslam to Young

Ryback b. Antonio Cesaro – Shell Shock

Kaitlyn b. Eve Torres via DQ when Eve grabbed the referee

Brodus Clay b. Brad Maddox – Splash

John Cena/Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show via DQ when Big E. Langston interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Anyone that follows my stuff knows I’m relatively neutral on Cena.  I respect his work and think he’s one of the greatest superstars ever,  However lately his character has had some continuity issues.  Note that this is all in kayfabe of course.1. Over the summer, Cena says that Big Show winning the title would be disastrous.  Well Big Show won the Smackdown Title two months ago and Cena doesn’t seem to be running through the streets saying the sky is falling.

2. Last night Cena says how much he respects Flair, but he’s perfectly fine with Shield beating him up.  However, when Ziggler, a guy that beat him clean the night before (no rules means interference is clean) tries to legally cash in a MITB case, Cena runs to the rescue.  Was he in a rousing game of pinball earlier?