These were announced last night during the TLC preshow.

– Best Dancer of the Year – Brodus Clay

– Top Social Media Ambassador – Charlie Sheen

– WWE.com Video of the Year – Jerry Lawler

-Crowd Chant of the Year – “Feed Me More!”

– Upset of the Year – Daniel Bryan (retaining World Heavyweight Championship at Royal Rumble)

– Diva of the Year – AJ Lee

– Insult of the Year – John Cena

– Tweet of the Year – Daniel Bryan

– YouTube Show of the Year – Z! True Long Island Story

– Facial Hair of the Year – Daniel Bryan

– Feat of Strength Award – Sheamus (for hitting White Noise on Big Show)

– Betrayal of the Year – Big Show (knocking out John Cena)

He’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaack…….great.Ric Flair is back and presented Superstar of the Year.  No word on if this is permanent or not.

I’m going to keep this thread updated throughout Raw with all of the Slammy categories, nominations and winners.  Keep refreshing this throughout Raw.  Let’s get to it.
Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Award (Surprise of the Year)

Presented by Booker T.

Brad Maddox’s Low Blow on Ryback (Hell in a Cell)

18 Seconds (Wrestlemania 28)

Kofi’s Miracle Save (Royal Rumble)

The Rock Gets Punked (Raw 1000)

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Comeback of the Year Award

Presented by the New Age Outlaws

Brock Lesnar

Chris Jericho

DX

Jerry Lawler

Winner: Jerry Lawler

Kiss of the Year Award

Presented by Vickie Guerrero

AJ and Daniel Bryan

AJ and Kane

AJ and CM Punk

AJ and John Cena

Winner: AJ and John Cena

Superstar of the Year

Presented by Ric Flair

Sheamus

John Cena

Big Show

CM Punk

Winner: John Cena

LOL Moment of the Year

Presented by Santino Marella and Tensai

The Rock throws Cena merchandise into the Boston Harbor

HELL NO at Anger Management

Randy Orton beats up Ricardo and Striker with food

Vickie Guerrero dances

Winner: The Rock

Hashtag of the Year

Presented by Zack Ryder and Layla

Feedmemore

Peoplepower

LittleJimmy

WWWYKI

Winner: Feedmemore

Newcomer of the Year

Presented by Sheamus

Antonio Cesaro

Brodus Clay

Damien Sandow

Ryback

Winner: Ryback

Match of the Year

Presented by Jim Ross, Gene Okerlund and Ricky Steamboat

Undertaker vs. HHH (Wrestlemania 28)

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena (Extreme Rules)

Sheamus vs. Big Show (Hell in a Cell)

The Rock vs. John Cena (Wrestlemania 28)

Winner: Undertaker vs. HHH

Tables Ladders and Chairs 2012
Date: December 16, 2012
Location: Barclays Center, Brooklyn, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the final stop before we get to the Rumble where Rock can finally get his title shot, meaning we can stop having everything lead up to that instead of having stuff that matters. The main event is a six man tag because Punk is injured. Other than that we’ve got Cena vs. Ziggler for the MITB case and Sheamus vs. Show in a chairs match for the Smackdown Title. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Divas Battle Royal

Layla, Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, Natalya, Tamina Snuka, Aksana, Rosa Mendes, Cameron, Naomi

The winner gets the title shot presumably later tonight. They’re all in Santa outfits here and Eve is on commentary. Rosa is put out quickly and the Funkadactyls do some splits on I think Alicia. I think Cameron is put out and Aksana lays on the ropes like an idiot. She deserves the elimination she gets. Striker says that there might be a dancing basketball rivalry because Layla and Eve danced for different NBA teams.

Tamina eliminates Layla and Kaitlyn dropkicks Nattie out. We’ve got Kaitlyn, Naomi and Tamina left as Alicia was put out off camera earlier I guess. Naomi actually puts out Tamina and we get a rematch of NXT Season 3. Kaitlyn spears her down but misses a dropkick. Naomi puts her on the apron and Layla adds a slap, allowing Naomi to dropkick Kaitlyn out for the win at 5:26.

Rating: D. Yes, one of the Funkadactyls, the dancers of Brodus Clay who hasn’t been on TV in weeks, is the #1 contender to the Divas Title. Has she ever spoken a word on television or been seen on her own? Wait why am I even trying to figure this out? It’s the freaking Divas division so what difference does it make?

The regular show opens with a twenty six bell salute to those who died in the shooting in Connecticut.

There are ladders EVERYWHERE, including hanging from the rafters over the stage.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara

Tables match where only one member has to go through for a win. The winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Sandow wants to know if there’s anyone lower in life than the Brooklyn hipster. They’re literally the unwashed masses. Cody makes fun of facial hair and we’re ready to go. Thankfully we don’t have tags and Rey sends Cody to the floor very quickly. Sandow is sent out as well and there are stereo dives by the masked men.

Rey and Cara pull out a table and ram both Scholars with it. Rhodes has to save Sandow from being slammed through the table and Rey is sent out to the floor. Mysterio saves Cara from going through the table, allowing Sin to hit the armdrag out of the corner on Rhodes. There’s the Disaster Kick to Cara though and everyone in a mask is down. The Scholars slam Cara into the steps and Rey goes into the barricade. The Mustache gets another chant as the Scholars set up a pair of tables.

After walking around forever, Rey trips up Sandow and hits the seated senton. Cody’s powerbomb is countered into a rana to send him to the floor. Cara takes out Sandow with a springboard cross body and a rana that slips a bit. A corkscrew plancha to the floor takes Damien out again and Rey hits the 619 on Cody. Sandow breaks up the top rope splash through the table though as Cole lists off some Tweets. Cara kicks Sandow in the head and kicks Cody to the apron. After firing off about eight kicks to the head from the apron, Cody knocks Cara off the top rope and through a table for the win at 9:36.

Rating: D+. Not the best opener in the world here as they spent a lot of time walking around looking for a spot to do. The Scholars were the obvious winners here and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t make for the most entertaining match in the world. It was probably a good idea to get this out of the way though.

We get another Joker Shield promo, saying about what you would expect them to say: they’re going to take out Ryback and HELL NO one by one tonight and that’s about it. The main reason they want to beat those three up though: they just don’t like them. How simple yet effective.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro is defending in what should be a layup for him. We start with a clean break in the corner and Truth does his pelvic thrusting. Cesaro throws Truth around before getting rolled up for a few two counts. Antonio works on the ribs as the fans chant for the USA. Off to a modified cobra clutch by the champion which goes on for a good while.

Truth fights up and hits the spinning forearm followed by the ax kick for two. A side kick puts Cesaro down for two more and the fans start a Little Jimmy chant. Cesaro escapes the suplex into a stunner before hitting the European uppercut to the back of the head. Neutralizer (BIG pop for that) retains the title at 6:44.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting, which isn’t saying much as I was expecting a basic TV level match. Truth is just filling in a spot here and there’s nothing wrong with that, but we’re just waiting for a big time AMERICAN to come in and save the title for the country. Decent enough match here though.

Post match Cesaro says that when the fans boo him, they’re booing themselves.

Some people from Tribute to the Troops don’t have much to say.

Ziggler says Cena is going to try to steal the case from him tonight. Cena already lost his own case earlier this year, so why should Ziggler have to earn it a second time? Ziggler says Cena’s career should be over if John loses tonight.

Here’s 3MB on MizTV to waste some time. Apparently they’re going to finally perform tomorrow night on Raw. Mahal makes fun of the Spanish announce team, telling them to speak AMERICAN. The bullying goes on until Ricardo Rodriguez of all people makes the save. 3MB beats on him too until Del Rio makes the save. Is that a face turn? Miz and Del Rio wind up cleaning house. A six man is proposed to fill in some time later. The fans want Ryder to be Miz and Del Rio’s partner.

Rock will indeed be at the Rumble.

HELL NO fires themselves up and talk about how hard it is to talk to Ryback. Tonight, they’ll feed all of the Shield to him.

Wade Barrett says he’s going to take out Kofi tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is defending. Barrett takes it into the corner to start and pounds away for two. There’s the bouncing elbow by Kofi for two but Wade clotheslines him out to the floor. Kofi slides back in and hits a suicide dive to take Wade right back out. Back in and momentum shifts again, this time with Barrett kicking Kofi in the ribs.

A backbreaker gets two for Wade and it’s off to a bow and arrow with a knee in Kofi’s back. That doesn’t last long so Wade settles for two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Back to the chinlock for a bit, followed by Kofi fighting up and hitting another clothesline to take Wade down. There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. The Boss Man Slam is countered into the SOS for two for Kofi.

A spinning full nelson slam gets the same for Barrett but Wade is getting frustrated. I love Wade moveset as he constantly mixes in new things. Kofi’s top rope cross body is rolled through for two, followed by a Boss Man Slam for the same result. In another sudden ending tonight, the Bull Hammer is countered into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 8:19.

Rating: C+. Nice back and forth match here with a surprising ending. This could have been on Smackdown but it wasn’t out of place on PPV. Kofi winning is the surprise though as he would seem to be set up to be fed to Barrett. Odds are there will be a rematch though, because clearly a clean win isn’t enough to warrant the end of a program right?

Punk and Heyman are in a sky box and Punk says the status of his knee is none of their business. Punk talks about how he would have destroyed Ryback tonight and how he’ll be champion for as long as he likes. Oh and he’s not associated with the Shield.

Ryback/HELL NO vs. The Shield

It’s a TLC match but you can win by pin/submission because there’s nothing to hang above the ring. Shield comes through the crowd of course. The brawl starts on the floor of course with Bryan vs. Rollins, Kane vs. Reigns and Ambrose vs. Ryback. Ryback and Ambrose get in the ring and the smart aleck fans just have to chant Goldberg. Shield gets Ryback 3-1 but he shrugs them off. Kane tries to bring in a ladder but Rollins dropkicks it into the monster’s ribs.

Bryan takes a ladder to the face as well but here’s Ryback to beat them all up. Reigns takes Kane down with a chair but Kane makes the save. I think Ryback is busted a bit. Bryan kicks Reigns in the corner and the fans are WAY into Danny boy. Reigns is thrown into a ladder which gets two for Kane. Bryan saves Ryback and the fans want tables. Rollins jumps into a Kane uppercut for two before getting put inside a ladder. Kane beats on the ladder with a chair for a bit but Ambrose takes Kane out with a DDT onto the chair.

Ryback rams Rollins and Ambrose into the corner and there’s another Goldberg chant. The fans still want tables. Ryback blocks a beal into the ladder in the corner and pounds Ambrose and Rollins down again. A splash crushes both of them against the ladder, followed by a suplex from Ryback to put both of them on the ladder. Reigns breaks up the double Shell Shock and it’s another three on one beating. Where did HELL NO go?

Shield loads up the triple powerbomb….and it actually works. Seriously, no save from the champions until a few seconds later. Bryan goes off on everyone but gets caught in the numbers game. Kane finally comes back but gets beaten down as well. Back into the ring and it’s time for the chairs portion of the match. Bryan gets beaten down before being double superplexed off a table on the top. Kane barely makes a save but he gets beaten down by the chair as well.

Ambrose and Rollins try the double superplex on Kane as well but he shoves Rollins to the floor and clotheslines Ambrose down. The side slam puts Reigns down but Dean makes the save. Instead of I think a DDT on Kane though, it’s a chokeslam for Dean through the chair for two. Back to the floor and Reigns spears Kane through the barricade to a BIG reaction. Kane gets buried under a bunch of stuff, but in the chaos, Bryan grabs the NO Lock on Ambrose. He eventually gets it on all three guys but the numbers catch up to him.

Bryan fights back AGAIN with a bunch of kicks but eventually he falls prey to the Blackout (running curb stomp) onto the EDGE OF THE CHAIR from Rollins. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Ryback is up though and house is cleaned. Rollins is thrown onto Ambrose and it’s chair time for Reigns. Ambrose comes back AGAIN but gets speared down. There’s a Meat Hook for Dean followed by Shell Shock for two as Rollins saves. Ryback goes to the floor but gets caught by some chair shots. Ryback charges at Reigns to tackle into whatever is in his path in a cool visual.

The Shield and Ryback are all up by the entrance and Ambrose chairs him in the back to take him down again. They shove a ladder onto Ryback and destroy him with some chair shots and put him on a table. There’s a HUGE, as in bigger than the usual HUGE ladders, and Rollins climbs up. Ryback fights up though and Rollins is in trouble. Ryback throws Seth through a big stack of tables, but Ambrose and Reigns are double teaming Bryan in the ring. Reigns superbombs Bryan through the table for the pin at 22:55.

Rating: A. AWESOME brawl here with a great story being told throughout. Ryback gets two do the big spot to look strong and the Shield’s pack mentality worked very well too. Great match here and definitely better than I was expecting. Shield looked like they could more than hang in there, and that was the main thing they had to worry about. Great stuff.

Carnage is removed for a bit. Rollins took a NASTY bump into the table on that fall, slamming his head onto the edge.

Divas Title: Naomi vs. Eve Torres

Naomi does her flashy stuff to start and Eve hides on the floor. The reaction to taking the champ out? DANCE TIME! Naomi fakes her out a lot, botches a jump to the top, and misses a spinning cross body. Eve’s neckbreaker ends this at 3:08.

Rating: D. Eve is hot and Naomi can shake her hips so I can’t call this a failure. The division is such a joke anymore and AJ isn’t going to fix anything immediately. They need to get this Kaitlyn title reign over already though because it’s already past the point where it should have happened. Nothing to see but Eve’s legs here as usual.

Eve does her posing thing post match which is pretty awesome.

Big Show says Sheamus has no chance to get the title back tonight.

We recap Sheamus vs. Show. Show won the title at TLC and retained it at Survivor Series, but after the second match, Sheamus hit Show 31 times with a chair. The chairs match stipulation tonight was obvious.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Big Show

Note that with the Raw Champion off the show, this was never once mentioned as a possible replacement main event. This is a chairs match, which means chair shots are legal. Sheamus pounds him down to start and goes for the knee. The first chair is brought in but Sheamus is knocked to the floor. Show superkicks the chair into Sheamus’ face and there’s the LOUD chop. Sheamus comes back with the shoulder off the apron and we head inside again.

Show pounds him down again but Sheamus slams him down for two. Why is it a surprise that he kicked out of that? It’s just a slam. A top rope chair shot puts Show down but a second attempt is countered with a spear out of the air to take him down. Back in and Sheamus pounds away but charges into a chokeslam for two. Show goes under the ring and pulls out a bunch of chairs.

A Vader Bomb onto a chair onto Sheamus gets two so Show loads up two chairs in the middle of the ring. Sheamus fights back and hits White Noise onto both chairs but it only gets two. Sheamus gets all fired up but the Brogue Kick hits the rope instead. The WMD lays Sheamus out but it only gets two. In a pretty dumb ending, Show pulls out a GIANT chair and clocks Sheamus in the head with it to retain at 14:40.

Rating: B-. Good match here but it was several steps below what they’ve done before. I really didn’t know who was winning here and with Show winning, I doubt we’re going to have a cash in tonight, which is probably the right call. Decent but not great match here, which surprisingly enough is a downgrade for this feud. Hopefully this is the end for these two here.

AJ comes up to Cena in a cutoff Cena shirt. Good look on her. Basically he says she can thank him after he wins.

3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Brooklyn Brawler

You know what? Why not? He’s in a Brooklyn Nets jersey as apparently he’s abandoned the Yankees (Bronx, not Brooklyn) shirt. Ignore those RYDER chants of course. Del Rio and Slater start things off with Alberto in control. Off to Brawler who beats up Mahal a bit before getting punched down by Heath. Brawler avoids a middle rope knee drop as we hear about 3MB having their tattoos messed up. Not hot tag brings in Miz who gets two on Jinder off a DDT. Del Rio drives Drew into the remnants of the announce table. The Finale takes down Mahal and the Brawler gets the win off a Boston Crab at 3:37.

Rating: D. It should have been Ryder. Seriously, what else do you want me to say here?

We recap Ziggler vs. Cena, which is more about AJ and Vickie than anything else. Eventually Dolph and Cena got dragged into it and Ziggy’s MITB case was put up for grabs in a ladder match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena

Ladder match for the case here. Cena runs him over with a shoulder to start and they stare at each other for a bit. The fans are almost universally behind Dolph here. Cena takes him down with a headlock, probably for the first time in the history of ladder matches. He works on Dolph’s arm and hits a fisherman’s suplex. There’s a monkey flip out of the corner and Ziggler is sent to the floor.

Ziggler gets a chair to take Cena down and wedges it between the top and middle rope. We get the first ladder brought in but Cena rams it into Dolph’s face. Cena might be cut over the eye. The dueling Cena chants begin as he crushes Ziggler’s head with the steps. It’s table time but Dolph knocks Cena down and goes for a climb. They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time. Dolph hooks the sleeper and Cena turns red, but he climbs the ladder anyway with Ziggler on his back.

This of course goes badly and they crash backwards through a table in the ring. In a very cool spot, Ziggler goes up the ladder, so Cena PICKS UP THE LADDER FOR THE AA. Ziggler escapes what would have likely resulted in death and hits the Fameasser to put both guys down. Cena puts on a quick STF but Ziggler escapes the AA and hits the Zig Zag. Ziggler seems to be a big ginger on his leg as he gets another table.

The table is placed in the corner but Cena hits four of the five moves of doom. Dolph counters the AA and hits the jumping DDT to put Cena down again. Ziggler goes for the big ladder but Cena stops him at the top. They slug it out up there with Cena shoving Ziggler off. There’s no one to stop Cena….except himself as Cena does the stupid VERY slow climb, allowing Ziggler to take him down. Ziggler rams the bad eye into the ladder but Cena BUSTS OUT A FREAKING HURRICANRANA to send Ziggy through the table in the corner.

John pounds Ziggler into the corner and puts him on the top rope. Ziggler shoves him away and tries a top rope cross body, but Cena rolls through into the AA. That gets countered too and a chair shot puts Cena down. Ziggler misses a kick and there’s an AA. There’s nothing in the ring at the moment though so here’s Vickie with a chair. Cue AJ to take Guerrero down with the Five Moves of Doom. Well close enough I guess. Cena climbs the ladder and AJ shoves it down, turning heel. Ziggler has no idea what’s going on but AJ goes all happy psycho again. Ziggler retains the case at 23:38.

Rating: B+. I’d like this a lot more if it wasn’t about AJ. At the end of the day, I get that she’s nuts but she’s gotten WAY too much focus and it means this story must continue. I get what they’re going for here, but man alive they’ve run this story into the ground for so long that I don’t care anymore. The match was very good though as the ladders were props in the match, which is what makes the best ladder matches.

Ziggler celebrates a ton to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Once we got by the obvious matches to open the show, this turned into the usual excellent show that TLC is. It’s not so much about the quality of it, but it’s FUN, which is a good idea to end the year with. Things get serious now as the Road to Wrestlemania begins. Very fun show here with a serious match of the year candidate included. Check this one out.

Results

Rhodes Scholars b. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara – Rhodes shoved Cara through a table

Antonio Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer

Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett – Trouble in Paradise

The Shield b. Ryback/HELL NO – Superbomb to Bryan

Eve Torres b. Naomi – Spinning Neckbreaker

Big Show b. Sheamus – Chair to the back

Albeto Del Rio/The Miz/Brooklyn Brawler b. 3MB – Boston Crab to Mahal

Dolph Ziggler b. John Cena – Ziggler pulled down the case

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Might make my match of the year list.  And yes that’s coming within this coming week.  Check this match out as soon as you get a chance.  It’s well worth it.

It’s…..Del Rio, who saved Ricardo from an attack by 3MB.  He’s going to need a VERY different character to make a face run work but it’s not impossible.

Thoughts?

The show is tomorrow and the Rumble I’m watching is really boring so let’s get to it.Let’s get the obvious ones out of the way:

Cesaro retains and the Scholars get the title shot.  Those are about as obvious as you can get.

As for the other four matches, all of them could really go either way.

I’ll take Barrett to win the title, as Kofi really has nothing left to do with it.  He’s the king of the transitional champions, so losing to Barrett is what he’s designed for here.

The TLC match is a very tricky one as you can’t imagine the Shield can hang with these three guys in a match with no advantage, but at the same time you don’t want the Shield to go down in their first match.  I’ll go with Shield to add more members and win.

Now the next two matches are connected, as it’s going to depend on which order they go in and who wins which one.  I’ll go with Sheamus to win the title, but for Big Show to lay him out afterwards, allowing Ziggler, the winner of the ladder match, to cash in and win.  That’s a BIG stretch and if I’m wrong I won’t be surprised in the slightest.

Overall this show is usually pretty fun and this one should be as well, but the booking is very hard to predict.  Also as usual, everything is capped off by Rock next month anyway, making this show really just a pit stop on the way.

Thoughts/predictions?

Smackdown
Date: December 14, 2012
Location: Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show before TLC and most of the show is set. We’ve got Big Show vs. Sheamus not being able to fight each other (despite having dark matches at these TV tapings) until their chairs match on Sunday. We’ve also got the potential of the Shield attacking again which should be interesting for the most part. Other than that it’s likely to be another dull show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw with the massive brawl between Shield, HELL NO, Ryback, Cena, Show, Sheamus and Ziggler. We also cover the major feuds going into Sunday.

Big Show vs. R-Truth

Sheamus and Cesaro are both on commentary. Show pounds away on him to start and beats him into the corner with a shot to the ribs. We head to the floor where Truth gets beaten up even more, including being bounced off the ropes to crash onto the floor. Cesaro looks to interfere but Sheamus shoves him back into his chair. After Show yells at Sheamus a bit, Truth FINALLY gets his feet up in the corner and chokes Show a bit. Show misses an elbow and Truth hits the ax kick for two. The Little Jimmy is countered and the WMD gets the pin for Show at 4:44.

Rating: D. Nice to see a guy that is treated as someone who doesn’t have much of a chance to win the title on Sunday getting destroyed here on Smackdown. Truth got in like two kicks and that’s the extent of his offense here. In other words, the #1 contender to the US Title is being treated like a jobber. Why is anyone surprised the midcard titles mean nothing?

Show gets in Sheamus’ face post match and Cesaro jumps Sheamus from behind, sending him into Show. Show laughs and shouts that Sheamus touched him so the match is off.

Post break Show tries to talk Booker into calling off the match because of Sheamus hitting him. Booker says that it was because of Cesaro so the match is still on. What an excessively pointless segment.

Here’s Damien Sandow (with what sounds like new music) to search for an apprentice. Instead of looking tonight though, he brings out Cody for their match. Cody’s mustache gets another chant which is at least a reaction for him. Cody starts to talk about Miz but the Usos’ music cuts him off.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Usos

This is joined in progress after a break with Jimmy hitting a clothesline on Cody. Off to Jey who gets distracted by Sandow, allowing Cody to crank on the arm. Sandow comes in and drops a knee for two. We hear about Sandow graduating from high school at 12 and being valedictorian. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and here’s Cody again. After a release from suplex, Rhodes hooks a seated full nelson.

JBL talks about how Cody’s mustache looks (JBL: “He looks like a bowed up Freddie Mercury.” Josh: “I’ll have to Google him later.”) until it’s a hot tag to Jimmy who cleans house. Jimmy loads up the splash but Cody crawls over to Sandow for the tag. Everything breaks down and Sandow rolls up Jimmy for the pin with a handful of tights at 3:52.

Rating: C-. JBL’s mustache lines made this match better but it was fine in its own right. This was about giving the Scholars momentum going into Sunday and it did that well enough. The one thing I really liked here was Josh mentioning Sandow’s background. Making up stuff about characters is a great way to push them forward, yet for some reason it’s been decided that such an idea is evil. I’d love to see it make a comeback.

Show talks to Otunga about the no contact clause.

Here are Show and Otunga in the ring for another legal issue because we haven’t had one of those angles in a few months. David talks about how Booker is clearly biased and they’re going to the Board of Directors. Otunga is going to demand that the chairs match be called off and that Booker be thrown out as GM. Booker comes out and says that the match is still going to happen, but Otunga says that just because Booker was in prison it doesn’t make him a legal expert. Also they’re going to get Sheamus fired too.

Cue Sheamus with a chair and a microphone. He says if there’s no match, there’s nothing stopping him from beating up Show right now. Show, the ferocious monster, says the contract is still valid and the match is still on. You know, because THE BIG SHOW has to be a coward heel as well. Brogue Kick lays out Otunga.

We get a clip of Orton destroying Brad Maddox two weeks ago. They might as well show the whole match as it wasn’t even 90 seconds long. This led to the Shield attacking Orton

We come back from a break to see Orton being destroyed by the Shield after apparently putting him through a table. I believe he has a wrist injury so there’s his exit off TV. Orton is injured. Imagine that.

Kaitlyn vs. Aksana

Aksana hits a knee to the ribs and hooks a headlock to take over on the mat. Kaitlyn fights up and flips Aksana forward but can’t break the hold. Some forearms get two for Aksana and it’s off to a chinlock. Josh keeps asking why the Shield would do that to Orton, causing JBL to go into a hilarious rant against Josh, telling him to take his spiky hair and go ask them.

Back to the chinlock by Aksana which can’t even be broken by a side slam. This match has been going on for three and a half minutes and Aksana has had a head/chinlock on for about three minutes out of that. Kaitlyn comes back with forearms and a beal to set up a gutbuster for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D-. This had to be a rib right? Aksana was basically no selling everything that Kaitlyn did to her by not letting go of that hold, which doesn’t really do any good for anyone here. The Divas are somehow getting worse over time, which completely boggles my mind. Aksana may very well be the worst in ring working chick I’ve ever seen. Let that sink in for a bit.

Orton has a separated shoulder and might have a concussion.

Here’s MizTV with special guests HELL NO. Bryan says that he doesn’t want to talk about how he’s feeling, because it’s time to unleash all of the anger that he apparently has in him. He’ll do that on Sunday with tables, ladders and chairs. When the Shield is begging for mercy, Bryan is going to tell them NO. Kane talks about looking forward to using everything they can on Sunday and Bryan says YES they will.

The champions are cut off by another Joker style promo from the Shield, who say you can ask Randy Orton what happens when you mess with the Shield. They say Bryan can’t hide behind Kane and that the sword of justice will be served. Kane says why wait until Sunday and Shield says they agree. Miz is gone as Kane and Bryan look for the Shield. They’re in a sky box and slowly come down, but cue Ryback before Shield can make it to the ring. Shield turns and walks away.

Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel vs. Epico/Primo/Prime Time Players

Titus vs. Khali to start things off with Khali chopping him down quickly. Young gets a chop as well before it’s off to Horny for some comedy spots on O’Neal. Young comes in to try to take over on Horny as Josh doesn’t know who Harpo Marx is. Tyson comes in but is almost immediately stomped down. Primo gets in some shots before it’s off to Epico who gets two off a slingshot elbow. Natalya and Rosa get in a fight on the floor as Primo gets two off a dropkick. In a cool ending, Tyson tries a sunset flip but Primo falls on top in a cover, but Kidd rolls backwards into a sunset flip for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: D+. I really would love it if Kidd and Gabriel could do something other than fill in spots in a stupid tag match like this. Khali and Horny are your usual opposites tag team who do nothing new but are there for the kids and the heels are all relatively entertaining. For some reason this is the best spot that Kidd and Gabriel can get. Welcome to modern day WWE.

Post match Horny dives on Titus and has to be saved by Kidd and Gabriel.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio takes him into the corner to start as JBL talks about how awesome his Spanish is now. Kofi speeds things up and does his double leapfrogs before hooking an armbar. Del Rio takes it to the mat to take over before missing a charge in the corner. Ten punches in the corner stagger Del Rio and a European uppercut gets two for Kingston. Alberto works on the back and arm for a bit before Kofi climbs the corner and hits a top rope chop. The Mexican is sent to the floor and Kofi hits a big dive to take him out. Del Rio shoves him into the post on the apron as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio putting on a reverse chinlock which doesn’t last that long. Almost none of the spots or holds in this match are lasting long at all. Kofi tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Alberto loads up Trouble in Paradise (you read that right) but Kofi sends him into the corner instead. Del Rio does the exact same thing to take over again before hitting the running enziguri for two. Back to the reverse chinlock for a few moments, followed by a belly to back suplex for two on Kofi. Out of nowhere, Kofi escapes another belly to back into a rollup for the pin at 8:37 shown of 12:07.

Rating: D+. Alberto Del Rio is very uninteresting. He’s long since reached one of the worst points you can reach in wrestling: he’s just there. There’s nothing going on with him but he keeps appearing on TV to remind you that he does in fact still exist. I’ve heard rumors of turning him face, but unless they give him a character, nothing is going to come from it.

Kofi goes to the ramp and ducks a charging Barrett before kicking him in the face.

The Raw ReBound is Ziggler’s promo from the opening of the show, the interaction with Show vs. Sheamus, AND most of the match with Ziggler vs. Sheamus. I’m very curious if they aired the whole thing on the regular broadcast as the international broadcast that I watch is often changed. Upon watching the regular version, it is indeed different. Instead of the match, it’s a LONG recap of the entire Cena vs. Ziggler buildup. That’s rather interesting.

We run down the PPV card.

Now we look at the Sheamus/Show/Otunga segment from earlier.

Regal is in the back with Show and says stay calm but don’t take Cesaro lightly. Sheamus says he’ll lay Show out on Sunday with chair shot after chair shot.

Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro rams into him to start, knocking Sheamus down. Sheamus does the exact same thing and it’s a standoff. Apparently Orton doesn’t have a concussion. Sheamus hits a shoulder in the corner and a running knee lift for two. Antonio tries to jump over Sheamus out of the corner but gets caught in a Regal Roll for two instead. Sheamus gets sent to the floor but gets caught with a knee coming back in.

Off to a kind of chinlock by Antonio, followed by a European uppercut to the back of Sheamus’ head for two. The gutwrench suplex gets the same in an impressive display of strength. They slug it out with Sheamus taking over, including a top rope shoulder for no cover. There are the ten forearms in the ropes….and here’s Big Show on the stage with an injured Regal in front of him. Sheamus goes to get him but Show cracks Regal with a chair. Cesaro wins via countout at 7:24 to end the show.

Rating: C+. Cesaro continues to impress and it’s a good sign that they’re keeping him this strong. Truth has zero chance of taking the title on Sunday and that’s a good thing, as Cesaro isn’t quite ready for the main event yet but he’s making a strong champion. Other than that, Sheamus could indeed win the title back on Sunday and this loss allows for him to be kept strong while advancing the title match as well. Good little main event here.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was like a car that kept trying to start but it couldn’t quite get going. They did a decent job of setting up the PPV, but at the same time there was a lot of filler in this. Some of the matches felt like they were just there to fill in time, but on top of that we had the show contained angle of Show trying to get out of the title match. That added more or less nothing other than making Show look like a coward which seemed to be forgotten by the ending.

It’s almost like they have no idea what to do with the huge roster they have and throw out random things that are somewhat related to their active stories to fill time. Nah that can’t be right. I clearly just don’t get the nuances of the stories they’re telling. Decent go home show this week but not a good show overall if that makes sense.

Results

Big Show b. R-Truth – WMD

Rhodes Scholars b. Usos – Rollup to Jimmy with a handful of tights

Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Gutbuster

Hornswoggle/Great Khali/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel b. Epico/Primo/Prime Time Players – Sunset Flip to Primo

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Antonio Cesaro b. Sheamus via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 13, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

It’s after Final Resolution now and we’re heading towards Genesis in January. After one of the least interesting PPVs I can remember in years on Sunday, hopefully things pick up a bit this week. If my math is correct, we’re probably coming up on another gimmick show in a few weeks because where would we be without those? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the major plot points from Sunday.

Here’s Bobby Roode to open the show and he’s ticked off. He says that he made a business investment with Aces and 8’s but he got ripped off. Roode wants answers and he wants them NOW. Here are the bikers and D-Von says they were offered a better deal. Roode demands to know who outbid him and it’s…..not going to be revealed right now. D-Von says you might find out later tonight.

Cue Hardy and Storm who want to fight right now. They storm (no pun intended) the ring and clear out the unmasked bikers and for some reason, the armed bikers who have a numbers advantage bail.

Velvet talks about being in Championship Thursday next week.

Mickie is upset about losing last week.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

We’ve got Madison in the always hot blue camo and Velvet in a black catsuit. I’m happy. Velvet takes over to start and hits some kicks to the back as we hear about Aces and 8’s vs. Storm/Hardy in the main event tonight. Great, ANOTHER match the bikers get to lose. Madison comes back with a shot to the chest and stands on Velvet’s hair a bit. There’s that pelvic thrust thing that Madison does which I think is supposed to be sexy in some way. Velvet makes a comeback and hits an X Factor for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D+. The only thing keeping this from being a failure is how good the girls look. This was as dull as almost any match I can remember in months, with absolutely nothing standing out at all. I get that Velvet is back and all, but it’s not like she’s some kind of savior or anything like that.

Garrett, Wes and Kurt do a 5 Hour Energy commercial.

Kaz and Daniels brag a bit.

We recap the eight man tag from Sunday, which much like everything else on Sunday, was nothing.

Robbie E/Robbie T vs. Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff

Angle is with the small guys. The Robs attack from behind to start and T starts with Wes. Big Rob pounds away and works over Wes’ back before it’s off to E. Hot tag brings in Garrett and the fans just dno’t care. House is cleaned and everything breaks down. A jawbreaker staggers T and Wes hits a top rope cross body for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: D. I do not care about Brisco and Bischoff and that’s all there is to it. They’re just not interesting in the ring or on the mic or in any way whatsoever. They have jobs because of who their fathers are and that’s not something that interests me in the slightest. If TNA thinks we’re going to care about them if/when they join Aces and 8’s, TNA is crazier than I thought.

Post match a member of Aces and 8’s hits Kurt in the knee with a pipe, injuring him before his match next week against D-Von.

Angle’s knee is messed up in the back. Word on the street (as in Angle’s Twitter) is that Kurt has a groin injury so I guess this is their out.

Joseph Park (driving a Beetle) goes to OVW to train. He meets Danny Davis, the OVW owner, and says he’ll start training right now. Park runs laps around the ring and does situps while Davis yells at him. He also vomits in a trashcan. More on this later I’m assuming.

Tara and Jesse come in to annoy Brooke. Apparently it’s Jesse vs. Ray tonight and Brooke has very little to say. She’s another person I can’t stand for the most part.

1-3-13 video again.

Kenny King is ready for RVD again tonight.

James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Doc and the big guy, which is Mike Knox. Storm and Doc start things off with James pounding away before bringing in Hardy. Hardy gets to pound on the big guy now, which is rather pitiful looking given how bad Jeff’s punches are. He knocks both guys to the floor and hits a dive as we take a break. Back with Hardy kicking Doc in the face but getting clotheslined by the big guy.

The bikers pound away on Jeff on the floor before taking turns unleashing their wide variety of punches and kicks. The big guy literally just lays on Jeff as this is already dull. The beating goes on for a good while with Doc using a long chinlock. Jeff fights up but can’t escape, resulting in him being sent out to the floor. Off to another chinlock which Hardy finally escapes and hits the Whisper in the Wind. Not that it leads to the hot tag or anything but at least was something different.

Hardy hits the mule kick and FINALLY brings in Storm. House is cleaned and a top rope cross body gets two on the big guy. Poetry in Motion hits the masked guy and the other bikers come in. D-Von drops the bat….and it doesn’t matter as Last Call takes out Doc and the Twist pins the masked guy at 14:42.

Rating: D+. FREAKING DO SOMETHING WITH ACES AND 8’S ALREADY!!!!! They had like six guys on two here and they STILL couldn’t win? The match was fine with Hardy selling like a master like only he could, but Aces and 8’s are just such a waste of space anymore. At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s can’t win when they have this big of an advantage. So why should I ever be intimidated by them?

D-Von reveals that it was Aries that paid them more money on Sunday. Not that Hardy and Storm were the ones asking but whatever.

Roode erupts on Hogan in the back about Aries when Aries calls Hulk. Hogan says get here soon and tells Roode to calm down.

We recap Daniels vs. AJ on Sunday with AJ finally losing to Daniels clean.

Here’s AJ to address what happened on Sunday. He’s upset about losing, so the fans tell him that he’s still got it. AJ says he’s not going anywhere but he’s tired of looking after everyone else all the time. It’s time to look after AJ Styles and it has nothing to do with the Impact Zone, Dixie Carter or Impact Wrestling. He’s tired of cleaning up every corporate mess and always doing the right thing. From now on, he’s going to do his own thing. Ok then. This didn’t come off like a heel turn.

Dixie gets AJ’s shirt thrown in her face.

Daniels and Kaz celebrate and Kaz has a surprise for Daniels.

Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam

This is the non-title version of a match that wasn’t good when the title was on the line. They trade kicks and armdrags to start until RVD gets in a kick to take over. Kenny kicks a lackadaisical RVD to the floor and hits a corkscrew dive for two. Back in and King hits a floatover suplex and right hands as he’s playing the heel in the match. Kenny hits a kind of splash in the corner but a second attempt hits a kick from Van Dam.

A top rope legdrop hits King for two but he comes back with a springboard Blockbuster (kind of at least) for two. Van Dam avoids a charge in the corner but misses a split legged moonsault. The northern lights suplex gets two for Rob and he takes Kenny’s head off with a stepover kick. Van Dam goes up for a cross body but King rolls through and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C. This was easily the best match of the night so far and WAY better than the match on Sunday. King turning heel is a good fit for him as he has a lot of Shelton Benjamin in him: insanely athletic but needing a bit more of an attitude. Good stuff here and it’s a decent feud for RVD at least.

Bully Ray comes in to see Hogan and wants to know where Hogan stands on things. Hogan is all ticked off and wants to know why Ray is making his personal stuff Hogan’s business. He blames Bully for Brooke being in danger and says he hasn’t changed his stance on Ray at all. Ray GOES NUTS, and suggests he has nothing to do with Brooke and that it’s a one way street.

He says that Brooke was apologizing for Hulk, which Hogan somehow twists into Brooke and Ray should never be around each other again. Ray goes on a big rant about how he should be on Team Hogan (egads there’s a freaking Team Hogan now?) after everything he’s been through and Hulk needs to realize his daughter is a grown woman. Ray leaves and Hogan calls him weak. Good grief they have an interesting story like this and it’s all about Brooke Hogan. Is ANYBODY surprised by that?

Bully Ray vs. Jesse Godderz

Ray chases Jesse and Tara out of the ring and pounds on Jesse to start. This turns into a total squash with Ray just destroying Jesse and no selling any offense from him. Ray hits a chop in the corner that actually makes me cringe. The fans get another chop that they demand and Tara comes in. Thankfully it’s not a DQ as she only gets spanked once and leaves. Jesse jumps Bully from behind and takes over with some forearms. Godderz pounds away but Ray comes back with a single chop. Jesse actually clotheslines Ray down but Bully shrugs it all off and wins with the Bubba Cutter at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This was way better than I was expecting and the chops alone make the match worth seeing. Ray is getting more and more awesome every week, but unfortunately this is all being wasted on Brooke freaking Hogan, because being Hulk Hogan’s daughter isn’t enough publicity for her or something like that. Hopefully Ray can actually win an important match soon.

Aries gets here.

1-3-13 video again.

We recap the ending of the PPV and the announcement of Aries as the guy who gave the bigger offer to the bikers. Aries talks about how he was in the war with Aces and 8’s but he never got paid for helping against them or anything like that. He wants the title back, so here’s Hardy. Hardy says all Aries had to do was ask but Aries says he has to jump through hoops to get his match. Jeff offers Aries a title shot right here next week in the Impact Zone. Aries says he’ll do it on his time. Oh good grief. Hardy punches him and they fight with Hardy hitting the Twist. The show goes off the air at 9:58. Ok then.

Overall Rating: D+. The last forty five minutes weren’t horrible but the rest of the show was some pretty dull stuff. Ray continues to be awesome, but man alive the Brooke Hogan, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco stuff drags down almost anything good they’ve got going on. Aries, Roode and Hardy isn’t bad, but it needs something more than these guys guys just going back and forth like they’re doing.

Results

Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – X Factor

Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Top rope cross body to Robbie T

Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Aces and 8’s – Twist of Fate to Masked Man

Bully Ray b. Jesse Godderz – Bubba Cutter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Final Resolution 2012
Date: December 9, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

This is one of those shows that is happening because it’s a Sunday in a month and therefore we need to have a PPV. The card was nearly half put together on Thursday, so how much effort do you think the company is actually putting into this show? The main event is Hardy defending against Roode, who likely has about as much of a chance as I do. The card should be decent though. Let’s get to it.

Usual highlight package opens the show.

Here’s James Storm who isn’t scheduled on the show, because he means nothing in this company anymore. He talks about not being scheduled here tonight but he’s here to make sure Roode doesn’t try to steal the title like he tried to do on Thursday. Storm calls out Roode….and gets Kaz instead. Kaz says that he’s been here for years and is tired of hearing a drunk like Storm whine. This goes on for awhile, gay jokes are made, and there’s the challenge for the obvious match. You wouldn’t think we were ten minutes into the show yet would you?

Kazarian vs. James Storm

We get a referee and it’s time to go. Storm pounds away on him to start as he is known to do. Kaz comes back with a shot to the head and a head vice of all things. Storm gets thrown to the floor as Kaz pounds away even more. Back in and Kaz hits his spinning springboard legdrop for two followed by a cravate.

Storm fights back and hits a forearm for two before walking into a slingshot DDT for two. Kaz comes out of the corner and gets caught in an Alabama Slam followed by a Codebreaker. The Last Call is loaded up but Kaz hides behind the referee. Fade to Black (Kaz’s piledriver) is escaped and the Last Call ends this at 6:08.

Rating: D+. The match was short and nothing more than an Impact match. Storm has fallen through the floor in the last eight months, which says a lot when you consider how big a match he had at BFG. Also for those of you counting, half of this card has now been made in the last 72 hours. Again, they clearly don’t care about this show at all.

We recap Hardy’s attack on Impact and see Roode and Hardy arriving earlier.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kenny King

Van Dam is defending after King won a title shot on Impact in a three way. The champ puts on a headlock to start and they flip around a bit. The announcers talk about Van Dam’s title history and both guys kick each other. King kicks him to the floor but Van Dam comes back in and kicks King’s legs out a few times. Van Dam goes up top and gets shoved into the barricade, injuring his ribs. That’s a common theme in Van Dam matches over the years. Back in and King hooks an abdominal stretch which Van Dam breaks via yet another kick.

They kick it out even more and my goodness I don’t care about this match or this show. Rob gets crotched on the top rope and a backbreaker puts Van Dam down. Two knees to King’s face take him down, as does a clothesline. The Monkey Flip sets up Rolling Thunder which sets up the top rope kick which sets up the Five Star….which misses. King’s Royal Flush is countered into a rollup for the pin to retain at 9:20.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t terrible but man alive these matches being added together out of nowhere are REALLY hard to care about. The X-Division means nothing at all anymore as Van Dam’s matches are just thrown onto the card to fill in spots anymore. King appears to have screwed up his career by jumping, because he means nothing in TNA either.

We’re thirty minutes into the show so far and I don’t remember being less interested in a PPV in years.

Daniels talks about his history with AJ, which goes on for a few minutes because these two are welded at the hip.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrer/Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan

Chavo and Hernandez are defending. This is another of those title matches that means absolutely nothing. Morgan has Hogan’s cape still, but I’m not even sure they’re actually feuding anymore. They haven’t talked in weeks. Anyway Chavo and Ryan start things off and it’s what you would expect: Chavo wrestles, Ryan runs a lot, Chavo takes over. Hernandez comes in with a bearhug on Ryan before throwing him over in a belly to belly.

Back to Chavo to face Morgan and the champion is thrown around. Off to Hernandez for the big power showdown. Matt shoves him around a lot and the discus lariat puts Hernandez down. Back to Ryan who is immediately caught in a delayed vertical suplex for two. Hernandez beats up Joey for a bit until it’s back to Chavo, who is dropped on the buckle by the illegal Morgan. Morgan is now legal and drops Chavo with a backbreaker followed by a neck crank from Ryan.

Chavo plays Ricky Morton for awhile until sending Ryan face first into the buckle. Hot tag brings in Hernandez who is suplexed down by Morgan for two. A backbreaker puts Ryan down and a missile dropkick/clothesline combination puts Morgan on the floor. Ryan gets speared down and the Frog Splash hits…..but Morgan pulls the referee out for the DQ at 10:27. Freaking LAME!

Rating: D. The ending drops this down from getting the benefit of the doubt. I mean good grief why is Matt Morgan being used in something like this? Ryan has been WORTHLESS since he showed up and the tag champions are almost at WWE levels of importance with their belts. That says quite a bit and this show is terrible so far.

Austin Aries says he’s going to stir things up around here even more and he imitates Hogan to further a feud…I guess.

We recap Aries vs. Ray which is all about Hogan, of course. Ray seems to be involved with Brooke Hogan and Hulk isn’t happy. Aries pushed buttons and we get a match as a result.

Bully Ray vs. Austin Aries

Aries hides a lot to start and then slaps Ray in the face. He earns a gutwrench suplex for his efforts, followed by a big backdrop. Ray grabs him by the throat but gets caught in the face by an elbow. Austin pounds away even more, hitting a forearm to the head and a slingshot hilo to the back of Ray. Aries does more of the Hogan imitation, complete with the big boot and legdrop for two.

Ray comes back with hard chops to the chest and a splash for two. Aries charges into some Snake Eyes in the corner, but he manages to break up the backsplash. Ray punches him down AND HITS A MIDDLE ROPE DROPKICK to kill Aries dead. Naturally there’s no cover and Ray charges into a low bridge to send him out to the floor. The suicide dive is countered by a big boot to the face for two for Ray. Aries comes back with a crucifix into a mat slam followed by the running dropkick in the corner.

Aries loads up the Brainbuster but Ray throws him into the air for a one man 3D. However since this is TNA, it only gets two. Ray goes for a table and gets kicked in the face for his efforts, busting him open a bit. Aries pounds away at the cut….and here’s Brooke Hogan of course. She checks on the cut and is dragged into the ring, but the distraction of Aries lets Ray throw him to the floor. Now here’s Hulk to glare some, but Ray tells him to get Brooke out of here. The Hogans leave and Aries hits Ray low and gets the pin off a rollup at 12:56.

Rating: B-. The match was good, but since it’s involved with the Hogans we need it to be overbooked right? Does anyone have any idea why Aries is even going after Hulk in the first place? He’s already said it was to get his world title back, so is he just trying to be a troll at this point? Anyway the match was solid stuff as Ray continues to be awesome and continues to lose as a reward.

We recap the Knockouts Title match by talking about Velvet Sky. You know, the chick that isn’t in the title match. Mickie won some battle royal to get the shot at Tara here.

Tara and Jesse don’t have much to say.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara

They fight over wrist/arm control to start as the announcers talk about Tara being in her city’s athletics hall of fame. This turns into a discussion of USC football as Tara wants to kiss Jesse a bit. Mickie gets a rollup and northern lights for a pair of two counts and there’s the rana to put Tara down again. Tara gets sent into Jesse but the distraction lets Tara get in a kick to the face to take over.

Back in and Tara hooks Mickie in an over the shoulder hair pull. Why she doesn’t just hit the Widow’s Peak from there is anyone’s guess. Mickie gets a rollup for two but Jesse has the referee’s attention. The spinning sidewalk slam gets two for Tara and it’s off to a body vice for the champ. Mickie makes her comeback with a lot of kicks (a running theme tonight) and gets two off an enziguri. Tara is thrown onto Jesse again, so Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top to the floor to take Tara out again. Jesse gets kicked in the face, but the distraction lets Tara hit the Widow’s Peak to retain at 7:51.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but again, we need new blood in the division. Not blood that hasn’t been around for awhile, but new blood in general. Jesse was the focus of this match which isn’t a good thing, but Mickie vs. Tara is such a played pairing that you can only care about it so much after this many matches.

Roode says he’ll do whatever it takes to get the title back and that money talks. Usually solid stuff here.

We recap Aces and 8’s being all evil and breaking bones with the hammer. This is another thrown together match from Impact.

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s D-Von/Doc/two masked dudes. One masked guy is big and the other is small so we’ll call the big one Porkchop and the small one Roger for simplicity’s sake. Joe wants D-Von immediately but the bikers run away. Instead it’s D-Von vs. Kurt to start and guess who controls that one. D-Von gets beaten up but runs away when Joe comes in. Instead it’s Joe pounding on Doc in the corner and hitting the enziguri for no cover.

Garrett comes in and is immediately pounded down like he should be. Off to Porkchop who gets to sell Garrett’s horrible offense. Wes comes in and the small guys hit Poetry in Motion on Porkchop. Off to Roger who gets his arm worked over by various TNA guys. The bikers triple team Joe, pulling him to the floor and sending him into the barricade ribs first. Now D-Von will actually get in the match for some basic punches before it’s back to Doc for a suplex.

We hit the chinlock for awhile until it’s back to D-Von for more punches. Here’s Porkchop again to stay on Joe in the corner. Joe Rock Bottoms both masked guys out of the corner and there’s the hot tag to Angle. Kurt cleans house and hits the release belly to belly on Roger as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and Doc chokeslams Angle. Various people hit various big moves on each other, including Joe hitting the suicide elbow on D-Von. There’s the ankle lock to Roger but Doc gets the hammer. Garrett takes it from him and Wes spears Porkchop to the floor. Angle Slam pins Roger at 11:12.

Rating: D+. Here’s the thing: did Kurt actually need partners here? Would anyone have really been surprised if he could beat all four Aces and 8’s at the same time? That’s the problem with Aces and 8’s: they have D-Von and Luke Gallows as their names right now. Why should I buy them as a threat? Nothing to see here, just like always with these guys anymore.

NOTHING POST MATCH??? SERIOUSLY??? Yep, that’s what kind of show we’ve got here.

AJ says that a win over Daniels would make up for his bad year.

We recap Daniels vs. Styles. The line of “this has been going on since 2003, 2004 or 2005” sums up the entire feud: they’ve been feuding so long that no one knows when it started.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

This is billed as the last time so there MUST be a winner. Feeling out process and they fight over arm control to the mat. The feeling out continues for like four minutes as there’s NOTHING interesting going on here. AJ clotheslines him down to finally pick up the pace a bit and there’s the perfect dropkick. The bridging Indian Deathlock from AJ keeps Daniels in trouble as this is going nowhere so far.

Styles hits a snap suplex on the apron so Daniels comes back with a Rock Bottom onto the opposite apron. Daniels sends him into the steps a few times, including a powerslam/suplex hybrid down onto the steel. More back work follows as I try desperately to stay awake. Not that the match is bad but this show has been so freaking boring so far that it’s draining me. Daniels hits a moonsault and hooks a crossface minus the arm trap to torture AJ a bit more.

Off to a half nelson which isn’t really staying on the back so the match loses points for bad psychology. AJ fights up and they collide with AJ’s eye being busted open hardway. Daniels hits a release Rock Bottom but the BME misses, allowing AJ to hit the springboard forearm. AJ loads up the Clash but Daniels naturally escapes. A headscissors puts Christopher down but he comes bak with a sitout spinebuster for two.

A flipping slam out of the corner gets two for Daniels and he’s getting ticked off. AJ comes back with the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two and both guys are down. They head to the corner for a Daniels superplex for no cover so AJ hits the Pele to put both guys down again. Angel’s Wings is countered into a jackknife cover, but AJ backflips out of the cover into the Styles Clash for two. AJ loads up the Clash off the middle rope but Daniels counters into a rana. Now Daniels hits the Clash for the pin at 21:07.

Rating: B. Yeah it was good but so what? Daniels hasn’t won jack here, as AJ has beaten him how many times over the years? That’s the problem with this story: just winning the last match doesn’t always mean you win the war/feud. Daniels winning is the right idea from a storytelling standpoint, but this means nothing, as is the case with everything here. Oh and nice to see all the back work meaning absolutely nothing at all.

We recap Roode vs. Hardy. Hardy is champion, Roode is challenging him. Seriously, that’s it.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy

The crowd FINALLY wakes up for Hardy, possibly because he’s painted like a Christmas tree. Roode immediately goes for the ribs because we haven’t seen that in all of ten minutes. Hardy knocks him to the floor and hits the plancha to take Roode down as the fans stay hot. Back in and Hardy pounds on Roode in the corner as Mike reminds us that Hardy is injured from the Aces and 8’s attack. Tenay: “It’s hard to see his facial expressions because of the face paint.” This would be just as Hardy is wincing very badly. And this guy is the Professor right?

Roode gets in a shot to the midsection and hits a suplex and knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by the Hennig necksnap for two on Hardy. Back to the chinlock because the crowd must go back to being dormant like they were for two hours plus. When that does no good for Roode, he goes to the middle rope and jumps into Hardy’s feet, because this show hasn’t been bad enough yet so let’s have the DUMBEST SPOT IN WRESTLING.

Hardy hits a quick Russian legsweep for two but a cross body misses and Hardy crashes out to the floor. A whip into the steps gets two for Bobby and it’s back to the freaking chinlock. Jeff starts his real comeback with his usual stuff and gets two off the Whisper in the Wind. Roode counters a suplex into a rollup for two but Hardy hits his sitout gordbuster for two of his own. A non-bouncing top rope Vader Bomb gets two for Jeff and both guys are down.

The Twist is countered into the spinebuster for two. See, THAT is a move that makes sense for Roode after the offense he’s used so far. Psychology people! There’s the Twist from Hardy but Roode falls to the floor. A clothesline off the apron puts Roode down so Hardy loads up the Poetry in Motion against the barricade.

As usual it misses, but Hardy hits his hip on the barricade and he lands in the crowd. That gets two back in the ring and Roode loads up a superplex, only to get knocked off for the Swanton. Jeff can’t cover though so Roode spears him down for two. Here are Aces and 8’s but they just stand there. Roode walks into the Twist of Fate for the pin to retain at 23:00.

Rating: B. Really good main event here but the problem at the end of the day is that there was never any chance Roode was going to win the title. I don’t care how many two counts he got, there was no chance he was ever going to get the belt back here. Hardy is going to hold that thing either until his contract runs out or until his prescriptions expire. Good match here but in no way could it save the show.

The bikers destroy Hardy post match but Roode yells at them, saying he paid them already. They beat up Roode as well, because they’re CRYPTIC. Freaking screw off with this nonsense about Aces and 8’s anymore. No one cares and they haven’t for months now.

Overall Rating: D-. You remember those European house shows that were billed as PPVs where nothing ever happened? This was the American version of it, as NOTHING happened here but it was called a PPV level card anyway. Terribly boring and uninteresting show here with some good matches, but the first two hours or show just murdered this show something horrible.

Results

James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call

Rob Van Dam b. Kenny King – Rollup

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan via DQ when Morgan pulled the referee out of the ring

Austin Aries b. Bully Ray – Rollup after a low blow

Tara b. Mickie James – Widow’s Peak

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco b. Aces and 8’s – Angle Slam to Masked Man #2

Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Styles Clash

Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Twist of Fate

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