This is something I’ve thought of before but this was written by Lance Storm, who you should certainly read on a regular basis.  As you can likely tell, this was written late last year. What do the Intercontinental and United States Titles even mean? Punk is the best wrestler in the WWE, Bryan the best wrestler in the World, so is Rhodes the best wrestler in North and South America, and Ryder the best wrestler in the USA. There seems to be a lot of contradiction and over lap with that explanation.

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 6, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the final night of the BFG Series and the final spots this Sunday are up for grabs. Other than that, not a ton matters. I’m sure we’ll hear more about the Aces and 8’s stuff from last week, but it’ll be minor to say the least. Also we’ll probably get more of the card set up for Sunday which is desperately needed at this point. Let’s get to it.

We get videos from everyone still in the running for the spots in the Series.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 73

Samoa Joe 68

Rob Van Dam 55

Bully Ray 55

AJ Styles 50

Jeff Hardy 49

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 47

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 33

Robbie E 12

D’Angelo Dinero 7 (injured)

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy

I think Joe has clinched a spot already. Jeff tries to work on the arm to start but gets shoved to the floor with ease. Joe follows out and rams Jeff into the steps, but a charge misses and Jeff dives at him off the steps with Poetry In Motion as we take a break. Back with Joe in control again. Apparently Hardy has to win by pin or submission to make it to the PPV and Joe needs a pin or submission to get the #1 spot and to be able to pick his opponent.

Joe hits his corner enziguri and Jeff sells it like he’s dead as always. That gets two so Joe pounds him down again but still only gets two. The fat man is getting frustrated and here comes Jeff’s comeback. He fires off some clotheslines and the mule kick as Joe can’t keep up with the speed all of a sudden. Jeff hits the legdrop between Joe’s legs and a low dropkick for two.

A jawbreaker looks to set up the Swanton but Joe gets up before it’s launched. Twist of Fate is countered into the Clutch but Jeff rams him into the buckle. The Whisper in the Wind hits Joe’s arm and there’s the Twisting Stunner into an arm trap headlock which gets the tap out for Hardy at 12:00.

Rating: B-. Another good match in the Series here although the ending wasn’t great. I think they were going with the shoulder injury from last week with Joe but they barely mentioned it so it was hard to remember. Good stuff here though and they’re both at the PPV anyway so it’s not like it matters much. I’m digging the end of the Series for one reason: the matches matter. That makes it so much better.

We recap Aces and 8’s attacking Aries lately.

Aries runs into Hogan in the back and is told the small guy that attacked him last week is here tonight. Aries has permission to do whatever he needs to take him out which pleases the champ.

Joe has something to say post match but Magnus interrupts him. Magnus says that as a team they were good but it was Joe’s fault they broke up. Magnus forgives Joe for it though and wishes him the best. He walks away and then jumps Joe from behind.

The candidates to face Daniels/Kaz are in the back for the begging to Hogan portion of our show. We have the Rob’s, Chavo/Hernandez and Gunner/Kid Kash. This is your tag team division in TNA people. After they bicker, AJ comes in and says he deserves a shot. Well he deserves them more than Kash/Gunner who already got beat by Chavo/Hernandez. Hogan eliminates AJ immediately. Ok then.

Brooke Hogan makes Tara vs. Tessmacher for the PPV. Brooke still can’t act at all. Gail comes in to yell at Brooke and we get Tara vs. Gail later.

Gail Kim vs. Tara

Well that was quick. Gail takes over to start with her usual kicks and a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner for two. Tara gets a quick sunset flip for two but Gail kicks her down again. A powerslam puts Kim down for no cover but a floatover suplex gets two for Tara. Gail tries to go up but gets caught in the Widow’s Peak off the top for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely mind blowing how much better this was than anything the Divas have done in months if not over a year. These chicks know how to wrestle a coherent match without looking like they’re going through a memorized script. They look natural is what I mean, and that’s the most important thing they can do.

We recap Joey Ryan’s Gut Check and attack of Snow.

Here’s Al Snow to call out Joey Ryan. Ryan happens to be here and gets in the ring. Snow says give him a mic then tells Ryan to shut up. Ryan has to go through Gut Check again but without judges. Joey says he has nothing to prove as Snow take his jacket off. Ryan finally accepts it but he has to fight Snow to get his contract. Joey says no one wants to see Snow in spandex anymore. Snow slaps Ryan down and Joey bails.

Bully Ray goes to see Joseph Park to ask what Park has found out about Aces and 8’s. Park can’t say because Sting and Hogan are the ones that hired him. Ray says be careful and that’s it.

A security guard puts a guy in a chair and leaves. Aries comes in and I think this is the guy that hit Aries last week. Aries says the guy better talk soon or else.

Back to Hogan’s office and Gunner/Kash are eliminated. Thank goodness.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray

Basically it’s winner gets in and loser is out. Ray takes over to start but they’re going very slowly so as not to make any mistakes. Van Dam starts speeding things up and fires off some kicks for two. Ray heads to the floor so Rob hits a big flip dive to take both guys down. Back in and Rob goes up, only to get crotched. Ray tries to pull him down but Van Dam’s leg gets caught in the ropes. Ray pounds away on it for a bit and it’s off to a a leg lock.

The Bully and Hebner get in an argument, allowing Van Dam to hit a shot out of the corner to take over. He pounds Ray in the head and clotheslines him down a few times before hitting the step over spinwheel kick. Rolling Thunder hits for two and a monkey flip out of the corner puts Ray down. Van Dam tries a kick off the middle rope but Ray avoids it and kicks Rob’s head off for two. A Vader Bomb misses and now Van Dam hits the kick he missed a few seconds ago. Van Dam goes up but dives into the Bubba Cutter for the pin at 8:54. Why would Rob dive with Ray already on his feet?

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here as Ray continues to be solid in the ring most of the time. More than anything else, this was a clean win. Rob isn’t going to lose his reaction from the crowd and Ray isn’t going to be pushed into being a face because of it. He won a match clean and there’s nothing wrong with that. Pay attention WWE.

The four in the Series on Sunday are Storm, Joe, Hardy and Ray.

Back to the interrogation. The guy is named Mike and he’s a freelance grip from New York. Aries wants to know what the boss wants with Aries and the title. He pulls out a pair of pliers and threatens to take Mike’s teeth out but Hogan comes in to stop it. Hogan goes after the guy but gets a call, apparently from Aces and 8’s. They want Mike back but Hogan wants the arm breaker one on one with Austin in a trade later. Aries gets the arm breaker on Sunday in exchange for Mike.

Here’s Storm to announce who he faces at the PPV. Storm talks about how he lost at Lockdown and went home but his friends thought something was missing. Then he came back here and beat Crimson before entering the BFG Series. Now he’s on top of that and he has three potential opponents. He asks the three of them to come out and gets his wish all at once. Storm talks about Hardy and Joe before picking Ray. Ray comes to the ring and Storm says he’s getting even for last year when Ray eliminated him.

Rob is in the back with Christy when Magnus comes up and says he thinks Rob isn’t who he used to be. Rob pops him in the jaw and they brawl a bit.

Tag Titles: Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. ???/???

It’s Chavo/Hernandez of course. The champions are run out of the ring very quickly and the challengers take over to start. Hernandez and Daniels start and it’s quickly off to Chavo with a slingshot hilo ala Eddie. Back to Hernandez for a bearhug into a belly to belly suplex. Daniels gets in just enough offense on Chavo to tag in Kaz but a hip toss stops him as well. The challengers are tagging in and out very fast. Apparently their name is Tex Mex. Why not I guess.

Daniels comes back in for a few seconds and gets beaten up as well so it’s back to Kaz who gets caught in the over the shoulder backbreaker. Hernandez does the delayed vertical while Chavo hits the Three Amigos on Daniels at the same time. That was pretty awesome. The champs are reeling and we take a break. Back with Daniels beating on Chavo before tagging in Kaz again. A running flip neckbreaker puts Chavo down and it’s back to Daniels who throws him to the floor.

Kaz hooks a double chickenwing but Chavo fights out of it and rolls into the corner to tag Hernandez. There’s the slingshot shoulder and he runs over both champions with ax handles. He and Sheamus have a few similarities in the ring. Hernandez badly screws up an Alpha Bomb and heads up. Chavo hurricanranas his own partner onto Kaz for two as Daniels makes the save.

Chavo dives onto Kaz on the floor as Daniels hits a palm strike to Hernandez. Daniels heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a HUGE dive to take both of them out. Kaz gets splashed in the corner and Daniels brings in a title belt. Hernandez picks up Kaz for something but a belt shot to the ribs lets Kaz roll up SuperMex for the pin at 14:47.

Rating: B. Good stuff here for a match with all of 20 seconds of notice. Daniels and Kaz are better on the mic than they are in the ring which says a lot given how good they are in the ring. I wasn’t expecting much coming into this and they surprised me which is always something fun to see.

Hulk comes out immediately and makes the tag champs vs. Angle/Styles for Sunday.

We run down the card for the PPV. Ion defends against Dutt, RVD vs. Magnus, the Knockouts, the tag titles, the Knockouts and the BFG stuff.

Here’s Aries with Mike to make the deal. He talks about wanting to fight the guy who broke his arm on Sunday but gets impatient. Instead of making the deal, he’s just going to beat Mike until Mike talks. Mike says he’ll talk but a big guy from Aces and 8’s comes out to save him. The big guy knocks Mike out cold before he can talk and brawls with Aries to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here as they managed to build most of a card for Sunday while still building up angles at the same time. Getting Aces and 8’s in the ring on Sunday was the next step they had to take eventually and it not being for the title is fine. Given that there’s nothing on the line on Sunday in that match and I still want to see it is a good sign. I’m impressed by how well they did things tonight and that’s a good sign.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe – Arm trap headlock

Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak

Bully Ray b. Rob Van Dam – Bubba Cutter

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian b. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero – Rollup after a belt shot to Hernandez

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: September 6, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Byron Saxton

We’re into the second part of NXT now as we have a champion, which means people are going to be gunning for him now. Things have been going very well so far on the show so far and hopefully things keep going the same way now that Rollins won the tournament last week. I don’t think any matches were made for this week already. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show.

Welcome Home.

Kassius Ohno vs. Richie Steamboat

I guess I did forget a match that was scheduled. Steamboat saved Mike Dalton from getting destroyed by Ohno after a match and a challenge was issued as a result. They head to the mat to start and we have a standoff. Steamboat takes him to two different corners, pounding away in both of them. Kassius uses the forgotten heel move of poking Steamboat in the eye to take over. Richie comes back with a right hand so Ohno rakes the eyes again….and that’s a DQ at 2:42? For raking the eyes? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.

Ohno kicks Steamboat to the floor post match. He beats on Richie a bit more and hits the forearm/elbow to the back of the head before Ricky Steamboat and some referees come out for the save.

Audrey Marie vs. Paige

Paige, the British chick, is from Norwitch but Byron can’t pronounce it so Regal rips into him a bit. Marie takes her to the mat to start but Paige takes over with ease. Audrey goes nuts and we’ve got a catfight. Marie winds up in control with a long rolling cradle (Terry Funk called it the Tumbleweed I believe) for two.

Audrey sends her into the corner but charges into a forearm, causing some of the most overdramatic selling I’ve ever seen. Marie looked like she got shot dead. Even Saxton sounded like he was trying not to laugh at it. Paige picks her up for what looks like a fisherman’s buster but instead drops Audrey down into a stiff DDT for the pin at 2:44. Both girls looked pretty good here.

Ricky Steamboat is in the back looking for the trainer’s room to see how his son is doing. Why he didn’t go with him in the first place is anyone’s guess, but Ricky runs into Ohno. You can tell this because Ricky shouts OHNO at the top of his lungs. Ohno has on some Clark Kent style glasses and seems to be in awe of meeting Steamboat.

Ricky won’t shake his hand and Ohno says Richie doesn’t have a ton of potential. Ricky shoves Ohno and referees break it up. Ohno: “What are you going to do? Arm drag me???” This would be a lot more effective if the beatdown had been big, but it was nothing you wouldn’t see in a regular match.

Percy Watson vs. Leo Kruger

Kruger is psycho now and wears something that looks like khakis. Apparently he’s a big game hunter now. That’s something different. He grabs a quick snap suplex on Watson to start and pounds him into the corner. Watson gets up a knee in the corner and tries to speed things up. Percy fires off some good dropkicks and the Showtime Splash for two. Kruger gets up very quickly and hits a hot shot into a twisting neckbreaker (started as a reverse neckbreaker but spun Watson around almost into a cutter on the way down) for the pin at 3:16.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a squash here. I like the new persona from Kruger as before he was just proud to be South African. As for his finisher, not so much. There are too many neckbreakers/face first drops in WWE anymore and I’m tired of seeing them. From Bateman to Ziggler to Truth to Sandow to Layla and now to Kruger, use something else already.

Brodus Clay vs. Ryan Collins

Brodus does the full intro, complete with Cameron because this was taped a few weeks ago. Total squash with the crowd WAY into Brodus. The big splash pins Collins at 49 seconds.

Some kids get to dance post match.

We recap the Usos getting jumped by Ascension last week.

Ascension vs. Usos

Whichever Uso that is pounds Cameron (the wrestler, not the dancer) down into the corner to start and everything breaks down quickly. The Usos clear the ring and we take a break. Back with I think Jimmy getting tagged in to splash Cameron in the corner. Back to Jimmy who gets two off a double back elbow. Conor comes in off a blind tag and clotheslines Jimmy down for two to take over. Ascension does their fast tags to stomp away on Jimmy in the corner which is always cool.

Conor puts on a bodyscissors and it’s off to Cameron with a neck crank followed by an armbar. Back to Conor who grabs a headlock takeover then rolls Jimmy over two more times without letting it go. That was different. Jimmy gets in a kick to the face but the referee doesn’t see the tag. Back to Cameron for another armbar before Conor comes in for a headlock. This is a great example of how to pick someone apart.

Jimmy gets sent into the corner and gets a boot up into O’Brien’s face. There’s the hot tag (with no reaction from the crowd) to Jey. He cleans house on his own but Cameron escapes the Samoan Drop. Instead Jey hits a superkick to put him down but goes up instead of covering. Jimmy takes Conor out but Cameron crotches Jey and hits a kind of running jawbreaker for the pin at 8:58 shown of 12:28.

Rating: C+. This was an old school style tag match where they played the formula to perfection. Why in the world are these four not on TV but guys like Epico/Primo are? You can always make room for a Samoan team. Anyway, good stuff here and that’s a very rare thing to see in WWE tag matches anymore.

Here’s Rollins for his first interview with JR as champion. Rollins talks about overcoming his back injury last week to win the title. He’s used to being called a loser and he uses it as motivation every single day. He doesn’t care who he faces or who wants a shot at the title, because sooner or later, everybody gets blacked out. Good first speech from the champ here.

Overall Rating: B. This was one of the best TV shows I’ve seen in a very long time. They got a ton of stuff into this and nothing was boring on it at all. We had a feud being advanced, Divas, a squash, a good tag match and a big name appearing, all before the champion got to talk. He doesn’t have a first opponent yet so there’s nothing wrong with him just talking tonight. Very good show here and I wasn’t annoyed by anything here which is incredibly rare.

Results

Richie Steamboat b. Kassius Ohno via DQ when Ohno raked Steamboat’s eyes

Paige b. Audrey Marie – Fisherman’s DDT

Leo Kruger b. Percy Watson – Twisting neckbreaker

Brodus Clay b. Ryan Collins – Big Splash

Ascension b. Usos – Running Jawbreaker to Jey

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2012
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s Labor Day and on top of that the guys are coming back off a tour of Australia, meaning that I wouldn’t expect much tonight. Granted after last week’s mostly awful show, I wouldn’t expect much anyway but you have to have hope. Anyway, the focus is going to be on Punk vs. Cena after last week’s ending. Perhaps we’ll even get an explanation as to why Cena didn’t just climb the freaking cage. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Lawler/Punk stuff from last week.

We open in the arena and there’s no Lawler as we get a clip of him in the back from before the show getting destroyed by Punk.

Tonight Is The Night for Punk vs. an old man again apparently.

Here’s Sheamus with something to say. He says the party never ends in Chicago but the party is ending soon for Alberto Del Rio. Cue Punk with a mic of his own and the big hometown boy reaction. Punk talks about how he’s happy to be here and we saw him beating up Lawler earlier. He claims Lawler started it because Punk is the real king of Chicago.

Last week Punk was teaching Lawler a lesson in the cage until a white knight came out to rescue him. Punk doesn’t like what Lawler said on him at Raw 1000 and Cena saved Lawler. If Cena saved Lawler it means he agrees with Lawler and if he agrees with Lawler it means he’s disrespecting Punk and that’s not cool. It’s Cena that has turned his back on the WWE Universe, not Punk.

Sheamus cuts Punk off and is booed loudly. He says Punk claims to be the best in the world, but Sheamus is World Heavyweight Champion. Sheamus calls Punk down to the ring but Punk says he doesn’t have time for such a thing. He says Sheamus is at best the second best in the world so he can shut his mouth. Sheamus says turn around so he can see what Punk is talking out of. Cue AJ who makes Del Rio vs. Cena and Punk vs. Sheamus. Punk vs. Sheamus with 20 minutes sounds awesome. It won’t happen here, but it sounds awesome.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph demanded this after losing on Friday. He immediately dropkicks Orton down and struts a bit. Orton comes back with a dropkick of his own and the circle stomp. A slingshot suplex gets two on Dolph and Orton hits a kind of clothesline before sending Ziggler to the floor. Orton rams him into the barricade a few times and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler getting backdropped. Orton misses a knee drop and Ziggler takes over. He goes through his usual offense, including the headstand chinlock and the big jumping elbow. Orton comes back and puts Ziggler on top for a superplex for two. The clotheslines look to set up the Elevated DDT but Dolph escapes, only to get caught in the backbreaker for two. Dolph comes back with his jumping DDT for two. That should be his finisher instead of the Zig Zag. Fameasser misses and there’s the Elevated DDT. The RKO is loaded up but Ziggler rolls through into a rollup for the pin with trunks at 13:45.

Rating: B-. Another decent match between these two but I continue to not get the idea that WWE has with this kind of booking. Is Ziggler pinning Orton here supposed to make up for him losing on Friday? It really doesn’t and it doesn’t make him look good because they’ve now split their matches. This doesn’t make me want to see a third match between them at the PPV either. Orton is leaving soon and is just back off a suspension, so have him put Ziggler over. It’s not going to hurt him, I assure you.

Miz comes out immediately for commentary. Not to jump Orton or anything, but for commentary.

Time for more from Anger Management with Bryan and Kane. Bryan’s is a piece of paper with the words YES and NO on it over and over. He explains the feud with the audience over what they should and snaps a bit. Kane holds up a blank piece of paper. He asks if the instructor wants to see how he feels inside. Kane throws the paper in the trash and sends fire into it. Bryan: “Teacher’s pet.” Next topic: families. This should be good.

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Tensai

The lights are on full here which is a nice touch. Cody and Cara start and the camera is looking different tonight. It’s at a lower level instead of looking down on the ring a bit. Ah now it’s back to normal as we take a break. So we had a break, the Anger Management stuff, another break, the entrances, 50 seconds of the match and now another break. Great.

Back with Tensai hammering on Cara before tagging back to Cody for a bow and arrow submission hold. That gets nowhere so Cody goes for the mask and punches Cara in the face. Cole says he’s stuck with Miz on commentary. Pick a side already dude. Back to Tensai who gets kicked in the head by Cara and there’s the tag to Rey to face Cody. Things speed up Rey hits a seated senton off the top for two.

Tensai comes back in sans tag for the over the shoulder backbreaker but Rey escapes and knocks him into the 619. A springboard missile dropkick by Cara sends Tensai to the floor as Cody hits a release Gordbuster to Rey for two. A powerbomb is countered into the 619 and Cara hits a Swanton Bomb for the pin on Cody at 7:54.

Rating: C. Not bad here but is Cody ever going to get a win in this feud? My guess would be yes, but it’ll be after about 5 wins by Cara. Cara is a lot better after the layoff he had as he hasn’t had nearly as many botches and looks much smoother out there. Maybe that’s just from experience. Decent match here.

Back to Anger Management with everyone but the wrestlers holding hands in a big chain. Bryan and Kane won’t get up for an exercise at first until being told to do it. The idea here is that Bryan is going to fall back and Kane is going to catch him. Bryan: “He is?” Kane: “I am?” Bryan falls…..and shockingly enough Kane catches him. Now Kane has to catch Harold. Kane lets him fall and Bryan seems to be pleased. Harold needs medical attention. If this leads to an insane guys tag team, this could be hilarious.

Sheamus vs. CM Punk

Punk can’t even main event in his hometown in a champion vs. champion match. Punk comes out in jeans and a t-shirt instead of gear. He says this is nothing short of a Wrestlemania main event and that he’s a main event wrestler. Punk doesn’t like being in the first hour (it’s the second) in a champion vs. champion match and since it’s Labor Day and everyone has taken the night off work, he’s doing the same thing. CM walks out and AJ doesn’t stop him. Sheamus says Punk is disrespecting the people here because they want to see this match.

In the back, AJ says Punk can’t leave but Punk says he’s taking a personal day and hops into a waiting car. Striker pops up and asks AJ what she’s going to do. AJ: “Who are you?” I don’t say this often, but BURN. She’ll find Sheamus an opponent.

Jack Swagger vs. Sheamus

Del Rio is on commentary now. According to Cole, Swagger hasn’t won a match in nearly NINE MONTHS. And he was a champion earlier this year! Last singles win I can find for him that was televised: Elimination Chamber. He was also on the winning team at Wrestlemania and was in a tag match with Ziggler on Smackdown in February where his team won. That’s insane. A quick shoulder block gets two for Sheamus and he goes after the arm. Swagger sends him to the apron but Sheamus comes off the top with the shoulder for two.

The champ ducks his head and Swagger kicks him in the face for two. Miz is ripping into Punk for taking a day off after everyone else is back from an 18 hour flight from Australia. Sheamus takes Swagger down with the ax handles but gets sent into the buckle. Vader Bomb gets two but Swagger charges into a knee and Sheamus puts him in a Texas Cloverleaf (???) for the tap at 2:39. That’s a new one.

Post match Del Rio and Ricardo attack with the latter taking the Brogue Kick. He’s out cold and has to be helped to the back.

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Layla is on commentary to continue the parade of people we’ve had out there tonight. Miz is here for the night apparently. Kaitlyn his a cross body for two as Layla and Miz debate women’s rights. The match turns into a catfight and Eve is torn off so she can smile. Eve puts on a front facelock and we get some great camera shots of her in those shorts. Layla is really getting on my nerves on commentary. Kaitlyn falls down and is holding I think her ribs so the match stops dead. Eve kicks her in the ribs and hits that swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D. That’s mainly for the commentary. Also, there’s your #1 contender ladies and gentlemen: getting pinned clean in a match to get over a character in a battle for power on another show. For months and months I talked about how the Divas needed more time to make them relevant. I was wrong, as they’re still not relevant.

Eve and Layla shake hands post match.

Swagger is leaving but AJ stops him. He says he’s taking extended time off because he’s better than this. She says he can’t because Jericho and Lesnar and Punk have all left her. Swagger says sorry and leaves.

Kane and Bryan have graduated Anger Management. Bryan says that he’ll give Kane a Summerslam rematch. Kane thanks Daniel and says that someday, he’ll accept the challenge. He’ll do his best not to eviscerate Bryan. Bryan says that’s assuming Kane could do that because Kane will be tapping out. Kane says he’ll make it so that Bryan physically can’t leave this room. Harold: “Guys….” Kane/Bryan: “SHUT UP HAROLD!” Kane and Bryan keep arguing and the teacher snaps on them as Kane grabs Bryan by the throat. Great stuff as usual.

Back in the arena, Cole tells us that we get to pick the fate of Bryan vs. Kane. Should they have a match, be a tag team, or hug it out. Decide on Twitter! This is REALLY getting old but it’s going to go on for years to come isn’t it?

Del Rio comes out of the trainer’s room. He won’t say how Ricardo is doing but Otunga comes out and says his client has no comment at this time.

Jinder Mahal vs. Ryback

We’ve done this. Ryback pinned him clean on Smackdown, so what is the point of this? Ryback has his own shirt now. The idiot fans have to chant Goldberg because they think they’re smart in doing so. Ryback throws him around to start but Mahal gets his feet up in the corner and hits a middle rope shoulder for two. Miz is talking about how he could beat Ryback through psychology, which I’m begging to be the start of a feud. Ryback knocks him down then picks him up into a powerbomb. The clothesline sets up Shell Shock to keep Ryback undefeated at 2:20.

Nothing for Ryback post match because we need to talk about the WWE App for Android!

AJ tells Striker that Cena vs. Del Rio is now falls count anywhere. Why? No reason whatsoever. Well, other than for them to go to the parking lot and Punk can appear out of nowhere and jump Cena.

Here are Kane and Bryan for the results. The poll says hug it out by a landslide. Well of course it does. Bryan says no, the fans say hug it out, this goes on for awhile, Bryan chest bumps Kane, Bryan finally hugs him, Kane won’t hug back and Bryan is mad, the vice versa happens, they FINALLY hug and this keeps going. Now they slap each other on the arm. Now they shove each other.

Now a fight breaks out and Kane kicks Bryan in the face. Bryan low bridges Kane but misses the running knee off the apron. Kane chokeslams him down in the ring and tries to Pillmanize his neck, but referees distract him and Bryan hits Kane with the chair. They spent over ten minutes on this segment. Let that sink in for a minute. Oh and also, this would seem to be a waste of all the buildup these two had in the anger management stuff.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cole does something that gets on my nerves by saying that Antonio will be champion next week in Montreal. Miz thankfully saves him and says Santino could win, but Cole doesn’t like Marella’s chances. If Cole says there’s no chance, why would fans think there’s a chance?

Santino takes him down immediately and loads up the Cobra but loses the sock for some reason. The move hits and has no effect, so Cesaro puts the chinlock on. Cesaro clotheslines him down a few times but Santino gets the sock. He freaks out because he gets it and is clotheslined down again. Neutralizer gets the pin to retain at 2:06. Never let these two fight again. Ever.

Heath Slater vs. Zach Ryder

This is the battle of guys who did well and then were dropped on their heads because the company got bored with them. Ryder hits a quick flapjack for two and Slater hits a neckbreaker for the same. He stops to dance and drops a knee for two again and it’s off to a chinlock for Heath. Ryder stops to dance again and runs into a pair of knees in the corner. A middle rope dropkick sets up the Broski Boot but the Rough Ryder is countered. A facejam sets up the Rough Ryder for the pin at 2:59.

Vickie immediately cuts Ryder’s celebration off to talk about the power struggle with AJ. Are they that strapped for time? Oh wait yeah they are, because they spent SEVEN MINUTES ON A FREAKING HUG! Vickie demands AJ come out and wants a chair to sit in until she does. Post break Vickie explains the feud…..and imitates Clint Eastwood from the Republican National Convention by yelling at an invisible AJ in the chair.

AJ finally comes out and says she’s been talking to the Board of Directors who have said her recent actions are juvenile. Given the way this show has gone, I think she’s safe from criticism. She can’t put her hands on anyone ever again and she has to apologize. AJ says she’s sorry but that’s not good enough for Vickie.

She demands a better apology and the fans chant slap her at AJ. AJ swallows her pride and says she’s sorry. That’s STILL not good enough as they pad this out even further. AJ pulls back to slap her but Vickie blocks it and says that’s not allowed. Vickie slaps AJ and leaves skipping and cackling. Total time on this segment: ten minutes. Oh wait they’re not done as AJ snaps and bangs the chair against the mat before throwing it up the aisle. She’s stronger than she looks. AJ screams a lot and sweet goodness she has pretty teeth. Apparently this is a nervous breakdown.

We recap the show and the card we’ve got for the PPV so far.

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Falls count anywhere for no apparent reason. Otunga Touts that he’s going to press legal action against Sheamus. That would be the second time in this feud that it’s happened. This is joined in progress after the break with Del Rio hitting a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Off to a chinlock and we get dueling chants. Del Rio goes up but jumps into a dropkick to put both guys down.

Cena starts his finishing sequence but Del Rio grabs the rope to block the AA. They head to the floor with Del Rio sending him into the steps for two. Cena sends him to the steps but Del Rio jumps over them and Cena shoulder blocks him down for two. John loads up the announce table but gets caught by a running enziguri for two. Cena tries another AA but gets posted for his efforts.

Cena gets up again and sends Del Rio into the crowd. John moves the steps to the side of the table and tries an AA through them, but Del Rio escapes into a belly to back suplex for two on the floor. Back in Del Rio gets a mic and says that Cena is beneath him. He puts on the armbreaker but Cena rolls through it and counters into the STF. Del Rio hangs in it for a long time and grabs the mic to hit Cena in the head to escape.

Del Rio misses a charge and crashes to the floor. A suplex onto the ramp gets two for Alberto and they head over to Alberto’s car. Cena grabs a speaker but drops it before he can kill Del Rio with it. They head to the backstage area and Cena launches a trashcan at Del Rio who ducks. Cena hits the AA onto a case but Punk jumps Cena and knocks him out, giving Del Rio the pin 13:20 shown.

Rating: B. Good main event here which felt like something off a bad PPV. I thought Cena had him beaten at least three times before the end, which while predictable needed to happen. The story of Cena not being able to hit the AA worked well and it told a good story for the match. Very solid TV match here.

Post match Punk gives Cena a GTS onto the car and says respect. He gets in the back seat and rides off. The driver rolls the window down and it’s Paul Heyman. Cue the internet explosion.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not going to call this show a failure, because there were some genuinely good things going on with it. The Kane/Bryan stuff before they were in the arena was good, Orton vs. Ziggler was good, Miz was good on commentary, the Mysterio match wasn’t bad, the main event was good and the Punk/Cena stuff will lead to a good match so that was acceptable as well.

Then we get to the bad stuff. The stuff like Vickie and AJ and the hug are clearly being stretched out to fill time. This is the same show where the tag division can’t get on TV, Sandow can’t get on TV, and a ton of other people can’t get on TV, but we can spend twenty minutes on those two segments? I get that this is the show back from Australia, but they’ve had the same problems since they went to three hours. I get that’s not their move and USA demanded it, but for the love of all things good and holy, use your time better.

Things like the anger management sessions are GREAT, as they’re not only entertaining but they build up a feud and give us CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Let us see a segment on Del Rio out shopping like DiBiase or Brodus being funky in the real world or ANYTHING for these guys that need development for their characters. Or gee, I don’t know, give someone a mic and say “here, you go say something to hype up your match.”

You know, help create some new stars and characters instead of relying on the same handful of guys with the same stories over and over again. Instead of having the law enforcement thing (twice in the same feud now), battling for power (AJ vs. Vickie, just like Teddy vs. Ace or Ace vs. everyone) or so and so is cashing in his rematch clause and we’re going to have the same match three times in a row despite the same guy winning every time. Why is this such a horrible idea? Ask these wrestlers what ideas they have and see if they work, because the ones we’re getting are already repetitive and are now just getting dumb.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Randy Orton – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes/Tensai – Swanton Bomb to Rhodes

Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Texas Cloverleaf

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Swinging Neckbreaker

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal – Shell Shock

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Neutralizer

Zach Ryder b. Heath Slater – Rough Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena – Pin after an attack from CM Punk

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: August 31, 2012
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s huge mess, hopefully Smackdown can turn things around tonight. Last week was one of the worst shows I can remember in a long time, which is a shame as I used to love Smackdown. Anyway, we’re getting very close to Night of Champions now and unfortunately, Del Rio hasn’t been hit by a bus or anything like that to keep us from having to sit through another title shot for him. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine at the moment is Del Rio vs. Sheamus. I can’t stand this feud and about 80% of that is on Del Rio.

Orton vs. Ziggler later. Gee I wonder how that’s going to end.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show. First up, he needs to praise HHH. Sheamus isn’t sure what HHH’s future holds but he has Sheamus’ respect. HHH is the embodiment of a champion, which is everything Del Rio isn’t. This brings out Damien Sandow of all people. He talks about how Sheamus is as ignorant as he is enormous because of his praise of HHH.

He goes on about Sheamus and HHH promotes a stereotype to the WWE Universe but Sheamus cuts him off. The champ doesn’t want to hear Sandow yap for twenty minutes so why not come into the ring right now and have a fight. Sandow says Sheamus isn’t worth his time but here’s Booker with a dissenting opinion. He makes Sandow vs. Sheamus for later, which is already more exciting than anything else from last week.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody talks about how Rey is just like Sin Cara, hiding behind a mask. Rhodes uses his power advantage to start but he ducks his head, letting Rey get in a kick to the face. Cody sends him out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cody hitting a spinning suplex for two. A release gordbuster gets two followed by some knees to the back and a chinlock.

Cody goes for the mask but gets sent face first into the buckle. Rey speeds things up and hits a seated senton followed by a big kick to the head for two. A knee to Rey’s head gets two but Mysterio kicks Cody into 619 position. Cody catches Rey’s legs but Rey counters the counter into a sunset flip for the pin at 5:31 shown of 9:01.

Rating: C. This was fine. It’s nice to see Cody having an actual story on Smackdown instead of doing nothing on Superstars every other week. I didn’t catch anything being mentioned about Rey and Cody’s history, although at least we’re hearing about how Cody used to be obsessed with his looks to give a reason to the Sin Cara feud.

Cody beats up Rey post match until Cara makes the save and puts a Sin Cara mask on Cody.

We get the first anger management segment from Monday.

Kaitlyn vs. Natalya

Eve is on commentary. Nattie takes her down with a headlock to start and the place is eerily quiet. Kaitlyn shoulder blocks her down and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn gets her head slammed into the floor. Natalya hooks an abdominal stretch and slaps Kaitlyn’s side which has to hurt bad. Kaitlyn comes back with some armdrags but Natalya clotheslines her down. The Canadian runs her mouth and gets small packaged for the pin at 2:45. Getting extra time is helping the Divas a tiny bit but this was more about Eve, who spent the whole match being the corporate suckup, which does nothing for me at all.

Booker is worried about the pressure of being Raw GM is getting to AJ. He says the match between Jericho and Ziggler never should have been made. Vickie comes up and says this is more proof that AJ needs to go. Sweet Christmas enough with the power struggle storylines already.

Raw ReBound talks about Punk/Lawler/Cena from Monday.

Anger management segment #2.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow is taken into the ropes to start and requests that the referee does his job. Sandow tries to take it into the corner but Sheamus grabs his beard. To avoid getting punched in the face, Damien drops to the floor and things slow down again. The champ starts running him over with shoulders and Sandow heads to the floor again. This time Sheamus is tired of waiting so he goes out after Damien, only to have his knees sent into the steps by Sandow.

That gets an eight count and Sandow stomps away back inside. Off to a chinlock which Sheamus breaks pretty quickly. A regular neckbreaker (as opposed to the double arm version) gets two for Sandow and it’s back to the chinlock. This one is broken even faster and Sheamus starts his hard hitting offense.

Damien bails to the floor for the third time but Sheamus throws him right back in and hits the ten forearms. A slingshot shoulder block to the back gets two and Damien heads to the floor for I think the fourth time. White Noise is escaped and the Brogue Kick is ducked. Sandow rolls to the floor and sprints up the ramp for the countout at 6:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t a great match, but it was a logical one. The idea of Sandow not being able to hang in a fight with Sheamus makes perfect sense and having him constantly trying to run and clear his head was a nice touch. This is exactly what Sandow needs: to be able to rub elbows with bigger names. He didn’t need to win here and certainly shouldn’t have, but having him in there is a good step in the right direction.

Prime Time Players vs. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd

Kidd and Gabriel have matching yellow shirts which look like dresses on them. Kidd and Titus get things going as the Usos Tout about how they should be #1 contenders. Off to Young vs. Gabriel after the starters do nothing of note. Justin takes Young to the mat after making a blind tag, allowing Kidd to kick Darren in the face.

Off to Titus who powers Tyson down and brings Darren back in. The Players are very good about tagging in and out quickly. Tyson sends Young into the corner and tags out to Justin. An STO puts Darren down and Justin loads up the 450, only for Titus to distract him. Darren crotches Gabriel and hits the fireman’s carry gutbuster for the pin at 3:13. This one looked better as he launched Gabriel into the air and Justin was in free fall when he hit the knees.

Rating: C. I know I’ve used that rating a lot tonight but this was exactly what the rating implies: it was ok and right in the middle. I do like that the guys in the tag division are actually getting a little time every week. If nothing else it lets a lot more guys get on TV as opposed to showing up every other PPV and have a title defense that means nothing. These matches don’t exactly equal the Harts vs. the Bulldogs but they’re an improvement over what we’ve been getting the last few years.

The final anger management segment airs. Kane’s explanation of his history is still hilarious.

Here’s Del Rio with something to say. Alberto brags about beating Orton last week but doesn’t care to be reminded that Sheamus has beaten him every time. Del Rio threatens Josh but here’s Kane for protection I guess. Kane says he’s here to apologize for attacking Josh at Summerslam. Teddy comes out and makes Kane vs. Alberto.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kane

This is joined in progress after a break but it doesn’t look like we missed much. Kane pounds on Del Rio in the corner but Alberto comes back with some kicks to the legs. Kane comes back with a low dropkick to the head for two and an uppercut that sends Del Rio to the apron. Del Rio rams Kane’s arm into the buckle and follows it up with a kick to the shoulder. Kane will have none of that and hits a sidewalk slam to set up the top rope clothesline for no cover. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Ricardo pulls Kane’s leg. The distraction lets Del Rio hit a Backstabber for the pin at 2:46.

Post match Kane snaps and chokeslams Josh, but he apologizes while he does it.

HHH video from Raw.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler dropkicks Randy down to start and struts a bit. Dolph shows off a bit so Randy dropkicks him down as well in a nice touch. A slingshot suplex gets two on Dolph but Ziggler comes back with a neckbreaker and some elbow drops. Orton wins a slugout and fires off his clotheslines. The powerslam sets up the elevated DDT but Ziggler counters. Ziggler doesn’t get back inside though and Orton pulls him to the top rope for a superplex.

That only gets two and Ziggler comes back with a jumping DDT for another near fall. The crowd is starting to get into this. Dolph charges at Randy but gets caught in the Elevated DDT for another two. Orton was laughing while he hit that which was kind of a nice touch. They head to the floor with Ziggler being thrown over the announce table. Back inside and Ziggler misses the Zig Zag, allowing the RKO to pin him at 7:10.

Rating: C+. This was a fast paced main event style match, but man alive did they have to have Ziggler lose AGAIN? Orton is leaving for a few months to film whatever the next WWE movie is. Ziggler is indeed Mr. MITB and probably will win the title before the year is over, but as always in WWE, the idea seems to be to have him lose time after time so he can surprise everyone and win it all back at once. You know, because no heel can look strong in WWE and they all have to be cowards that steal every win they get.

Vickie immediately announces that Dolph is still Mr. MITB and says he did a good job. Yes, make sure you hammer in that the guy who is going to get a title match is such a loser.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t a great show at all but man alive was it better than last week. It’s amazing how much better things are when you don’t have Alberto and Sheamus interacting. Seeing Sandow getting a match against the champ, even when he was mostly dominated and lost, was a good sign that there are big things in his future. This show toned down the stupid stuff and they got a better show out of it.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Sunset Flip

Kaitlyn b. Natalya – Small Package

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow via countout

Prime Time Players b. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd – Fireman’s carry gutbuster to Gabriel

Alberto Del Rio b. Kane – Backstabber

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 30, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Tonight is likely to be about Aces and 8’s again, but they really need to talk about the PPV. If my math is right, there’s only one match announced, and that’s the finals of the BFG Series, which may or may not be three matches. Other than that though, I don’t think anything is set. Then again it’s a throwaway show anyway. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. This is followed by the ending brawl from last week’s show where Aries’ hand/arm was broken.

Here’s Aries to open things up. He has a cast on his right hand but he holds the title up with it anyway. Aries talks about Aces and 8’s pulling off something major last week. He isn’t medically cleared to wrestle tonight, but he can fight. Also, they broke his right hand, but he punches with his left. Aries wants the leader to come out here tonight and fight him.

Instead (I hope) here are Hogan and Sting. Hogan rants about Aces and 8’s and thanks Sting for helping while Hogan was gone. Hulk is in charge again and says Aries can have whatever he wants. Aries says he wants the boss of Aces and 8’s again and here they are on the monitor. They seem to be celebrating and the leader says they’ll do things on their own time. They’ll be out here later on.

ODB calls Eric and says that if he doesn’t call back in ten minutes, they’re done. There’s no call and ODB says he has another five minutes. It goes over and hour and it’s still not over. She gives him until next week and wants fried chicken.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 66

Samoa Joe 61

Rob Van Dam 55

Bully Ray 55

AJ Styles 50

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 47

Jeff Hardy 42

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 28

Robbie E 12

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm

Basically if Van Dam wins he clinches a spot in the final four but he still has another shot. Storm is more or less a lock already. Apparently whoever has the most points gets to pick who he faces in the semi-finals at No Surrender. Ok so it’s three matches at the PPV. Feeling out process to start with Storm getting a small advantage via a headlock. A kick from Van Dam and a forearm from Storm get two each.

They both fire away in the corner and no one can get an advantage again. Apparently whoever loses between Angle and Hardy is out of the running. Van Dam sends him to the floor and hits a big dive to take Storm out as we take a break. Back with Storm hitting a clothesline for two. Van Dam kicks him down again and hits Rolling Thunder for another near fall.

A running DDT from Storm gets another two and Eye of the Storm gets the same. Van Dam sends him into the corner and hits a yelling monkey flip to put Storm down. This is good back and forth stuff. Rob tries another monkey flip in the other corner but jumps into the superkick. It hit the chest but it gets the pin for Storm at 11:13.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here although the lack of transitions and the finish bring it down a bit. Still though, these two had good chemistry out there and it basically locks up a spot in the final four for Storm while giving Van Dam a need to win over whoever he faces next week. Good solid match here.

Here’s Madison who says she has her rematch for the title tonight. That’s not what she gets though.

ODB vs. Madison Rayne

ODB spits the liquid courage at Madison and starts very fast. The Bam (TKO) finishes this in 25 seconds.

Post match here’s Eric in a suit with fried chicken. He wants to leave with her but ODB doesn’t like the suit because that’s not the Eric she married. Eric doesn’t like it either so he strips. ODB eats chicken and jumps on him.

AJ says he’s glad the Clair stuff is behind him. Right now though, he’s focusing on the BFG Series.

The judges debate the Gut Check guy from last week. They don’t seem that impressed.

Hogan and Sting debate who gets to do something. Hogan wants a slow buildup to whatever they’re doing. Sting waves in Daniels and Kaz who beg to not be fired. Hogan yells at them a lot and says they’re what’s wrong with this business today. No, not really Hulk. They have to defend the titles sometime soon apparently. Sting scares the appletini out of Daniels’ glass to send the champions away. Hogan and Sting argue over the use of each others’ catchphrases.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

This should be good. Feeling out process to start but Joe blocks the drop down/kick because he knows AJ that well. AJ bails to the floor for a second before coming back in to continue feeling each other out. A clothesline puts AJ down but he nips up into a headscissors to send Joe into the corner. Joe is too heavy to suplex, but Joe misses a kick and AJ goes for the leg.

Joe kicks AJ off so AJ dropkicks Joe’s head off to send him to the floor. There’s a bit dive but Joe kicks him on the way down. AJ looks like he got snapped by a very wet towel. Back in and the snap powerslam gets two for the Samoan from LA. AJ gets chopped down and there’s an STF from the fat one. That doesn’t work so Joe switches over to the Rings of Saturn. AJ finally gets a rope so Joe kicks his head off.

The backsplash misses so AJ hits the springboard forearm. He Pele’s the arm that Magnus injured with the chair a few weeks back but Joe blocks a cross armbreaker. AJ charges at Joe in the corner, only to get Rock Bottomed down. The Clutch is countered into a pair of rollups for two but the second is countered into the Clutch but it’s not fully on. AJ escapes that and puts on the armbreaker, but Joe rolls on top of him for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: B. These two are good by definition and I really liked this one. Give this another five to eight minutes and it’s a classic. The idea of AJ going for the submission is a logical idea given the points system and Joe being able to counter all of them was the perfect story to go with. See? Psychology isn’t that hard and it works very well.

Time for Gut Check. Lewie says that he gave his best effort but also says he gets better every day. Taz says no. Pritchard says no as well thank goodness. Joey ryan pops up with a megaphone and goes off on Snow before throwing a drink on him. Snow has to be held back. That doesn’t last long and Snow chases Ryan out of the arena.

Joseph Park asks Sting and Hogan if he can investigate Aces and 8’s. Hulk agrees, presumably to get Park to leave him alone.

Bound For Glory Series: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Both guys basically have to win. They have a ton of time too so this should be good. Angle almost immediately takes Hardy to the mat and puts on an armbar. Hardy counters into one of his own but Kurt will have none of that. Jeff headscissors him to the floor and hits a clothesline off the apron to take both guys down. Jeff kicks him in the corner but Kurt comes out with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Hardy using his fast paced comeback, including the legdrop between the legs and a low dropkick for two. That just fires Kurt up and it’s rolling Germans time. Hardy comes back with a Twisting Stunner for two followed by the Whisper in the Wind for the same. Angle snaps off a belly to belly and there go the straps.

A big Angle Slam gets two and why is Kurt surprised by that? Seriously, why? Ankle lock is countered into a rollup and a Twist of Fate. Swanton hits perfectly but only gets a very close two. Ankle lock is countered again and the mule kick looks to set up the Swanton again, but Kurt runs the ropes. Jeff shoves him off (good thing too as Angle was in the middle of the ring) and the second Swanton gets the pin at 11:15.

Rating: B. I know Angle does the same formula to almost all of his matches, but dang is it a good formula. This was the second great match of the night which is more than you get in almost any TV show anymore. When Hardy has someone in there to keep him grounded, he’s one of the best there is and that’s what he got here. Very good match.

Angle is eliminated from the Series now.

JB introduces the final five people who could still make No Surrender: Hardy, RVD, Samoa Joe, Bully Ray and James Storm. Next week it’s Hardy vs. Joe and RVD vs. Ray. Storm has already locked in his spot at No Surrender. No word on who has to do what to win.

Here’s Aries to close the show. Instead of the leader of Aces and 8’s, we get Hogan again. I really don’t like the way that seems to be going. The final five are behind Hogan and Sting on the stage. Scratch that as Styles is there too and Ray is next to Sting and Hogan. Hogan wants to see the faces of Aces and 8’s. Aries says he wants the ugly one but they can pick who that is. Aces and 8’s show up in the crowd and Hogan calls them out again. He says their finest is in the ring so Aces and 8’s can send their finest too.

Two smaller guys go to the railing but they’re just opening it for a bigger guy to get in the ring. This is a fight, not a match. The guy is right handed and he slugs Aries down. Aries spears him down and pounds away as the rest of the team gets in. It’s a big brawl on the floor while aries pounds on the guy that was sent into the ring. The running dropkick in the corner takes the big guy down and hee goes for the mask. Someone gets on the apron and puts his mask back on while pulling out a flapjack. He knocks Aries out and the whole team runs off. Apparently the guy that hit Aries wasn’t there at first. Aries is out cold to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. When you have three matches and they all rock like this, what more can you ask for from a free show? That being said, they didn’t do much at all for the PPV. Then again, who freaking cares? TNA has never been about the PPV builds and when you get a show like this, what difference does it make? Next week is going to be huge with the final matches in the Series before the finals three days later. Great show here and one of the best Impacts I can ever remember.

Results

James Storm b. Rob Van Dam – Last Call

ODB b. Madison Rayne – The Bam

Samoa Joe b. AJ Styles – Rollup

Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: August 29, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, William Regal

It’s time for the title match tonight and I’m actually somewhat excited. This change officially turns NXT into its own regular promotion which is what it needed for the last year and a half or so. It’s Jinder Mahal vs. Seth Rollins for the inaugural title, which is a matchup I didn’t think I’d like. Mahal is growing on me as a basic foreign heel and Rollins….well he’s energetic. Let’s get to it.

Jason Jordan/Mike Dalton vs. Hunico/Camacho

Jordan/Dalton won the first match between these teams. Regal calls the fans the NXT Universe now. Great. Now we’re hearing the same stupid lines from NXT that we hear on Raw and Smackdown. Jordan and Camacho start us off with Jordan getting in some basic offense before walking into a pretty good spinebuster. Camacho pounds on Jordan’s face and suplexes him down to bring in Hunico.

Back to Camacho after nothing of note and the bigger guy throws Jordan around with a nice butterfly suplex. A legdrop gets two but Jordan escapes a suplex and tags in Dalton. Dalton hits a spinwheel kick and a charge in the corner, followed by a hurricanrana for two. A missile dropkick gets two on Hunico and everything breaks down. As Jordan is being put back on the apron, Camacho hits Dalton from behing, allowing Hunico to hit his version of an Angle Slam for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C. This was your run of the mill tag match between four guys who aren’t that interesting but they made it work well enough. Hunico and Camacho are fine for a low level tag team and giving the unknowns a win over them in the first match was a good way to give Dalton and Jordan some exposure. As is the case with almost everyone on NXT though, they need ring time.

Here are the Usos with something to say. They call out the Ascension and as the lights go out for Ascension’s entrance, Ascension runs in from behind and jumps the Usos, laying them out with relative ease.

Raw ReBound is about Punk vs. Lawler. I’m still curious as to when Cena forgot hot to climb a cage.

Big E. Langston vs. Chase Donovan

A clothesline and that falling slam thing gets the pin at 40 seconds. He really needs to change finishers. A powerslam would be fine.

The locker room comes out to watch the title match.

Langston says nothing.

Howard Finkel is doing the announcing for the main event.

Dusty comes out and JR is now on commentary.

NXT Championship: Jinder Mahal vs. Seth Rollins

They have a ton of time for this. Fink may be fat and older now (he’s only 62 so he’s hardly ancient), but that voice is still perfect. Mahal won’t shake Dusty’s hand before the match. Rollins tries to take him to the mat to start but Mahal gets back up quickly. A dropkick puts Mahal down again and Rollins hits a hard chop. Mahal gets sent to the floor but he avoids a dive and sends Rollins face first into the apron. A suplex onto the ramp has Rollins in trouble and we head back in.

We take a break and come back with Rollins in even more trouble. Mahal stomps him down and hits a backbreaker to start setting up the camel clutch. Rollins gets choked against the ropes and the fans are behind Rollins now. He tries a comeback but gets kneed in the face by Mahal to take him back down. The camel clutch is escaped so Mahal pounds him in the back again. An enziguri out of nowhere puts Mahal down and Rollins punches Jinder down.

Mahal goes up for another knee but Rollins knocks him off the top and out to the floor. Rollins hits a HUGE dive to the floor and both guys are down. Back in and Seth goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed from the top. We take another break and come back with the two of them slugging it out. Mahal might have a bad knee but he pulls off a sitout slam for two. A full nelson slam is countered and Rollins goes to the apron.

Seth hits an enziguri to the head and a running knee for two. The near falls are getting closer and closer here. A running forearm in the corner staggers Mahal but he manages to drop Rollins face first into the buckle. The low superkick (I think he calls it Avada Kadavra, making Rollins awesome) gets two. Phoenix Splash (moonsault into a 450) misses and Mahal hits the full nelson slam for two. Rollins gets to the rope before the clutch can go on and Rollins rolls him up for two. Rollins comes back with the buckle bomb and the Blackout out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 14:24 shown of 21:24.

Rating: B. I’m still not wild on Rollins’ in ring work but the fans are into him and he’s not dull. He also needs a new finisher as the Blackout looks pretty forced to put it mildly. As for the match though, they did a great job of building both guys up as unbeatable and then having them go at it. The match was very good as far as making you wonder who was going to win and it turned into a good back and forth fight at the end. Not a masterpiece or anything, but for the first NXT Championship, this was more than acceptable.

Fink giving Rollins the NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW treatment makes the announcement much better. The roster puts Rollins on their shoulders to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was all about the main event so I’m not going to really bother thinking about the rest of it. Rollins is a good choice for a first champion as he can defend the title for a few months and then have a big time heel beat him to take the title. This felt like a big show and I wanted to see it, which is the right idea here. I’m very pleased with this and it worked quite well.

Results

Hunico/Camacho b. Jason Jordan/Mike Dalton – Reverse fireman’s carry slam to Dalton

Big E. Langston b. Chase Donovan – Over the shoulder mat slam

Seth Rollins b. Jinder Mahal – Blackout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

That’s the word at the moment.  Odds are this means we’ll have a new TV Champion or the title will be vacated.  It’s not like D-Von was doing much with it anyway though.

Thoughts on this?

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2012
Location: Bradley Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The focus tonight is going to be on Punk, at least in theory. He attacked Lawler last week which will probably set up a match between the two of them because the WWE solution to a heel turn that isn’t quit clicking is always to beat up the King. Also we need to find out if Cena vs. Punk III is going to happen, which I think you already know the answer to. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap from Summerslam and last week.

Cole does the usual opening to the show but Lawler gets in the ring. He says that at the end of Raw 1000, he said something that Punk took offense to, and last week Punk kicked him in the head for it. Now Lawler wants an apology so he calls out Punk. Here’s the champ who isn’t pleased. Punk actually does say he’s sorry, but he doesn’t get how beating up a bunch of nobodies from Memphis makes you a Hall of Famer.

Punk runs down Lawler’s career and focuses on his time on commentary. After all those years, Lawler got a Wrestlemania moment and he couldn’t even beat Michael Cole. Lawler gets angry and Punk wants to know if Lawler wants a fight. Lawler says no but Punk keeps pushing it. Punk leaves and Lawler says he’ll think about it.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

Ryback takes him down almost immediately and slams Swagger’s head into the mat over and over. A charge misses though and Swagger shoulder blocks Ryback down. Vader Bomb hits feet but Swagger counters into an ankle lock attempt. Ryback escapes and pounds him in the corner. A BADLY botched backdrop results in Swagger being dropped on his head ala Sabu vs. Benoit in ECW. The clothesline sets up Shell Shock for the pin at 2:12.

Swagger says that’s it and yells a lot.

Lawler is still thinking about fighting Punk.

Natalya vs. Layla

Before the match, Vickie comes out and says to hurry the match up because she has something to say. Layla speeds things up to start and hits some nice athletic stuff, including a few rollups and a springboard cross body for two. Natalya kicks her to the floor and ties Layla up in the ring skirt. Back in and Layla tries some rollups before settling for a kick to the head for the pin at 2:48. This was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in a long time.

Vickie tells Layla to leave now because she’s done. Vickie talks about the Jericho vs. Ziggler match last week and complains about how Ziggler had to defend the briefcase. She says that the Board of Directors needs to look at the abuse of power and give it back to an adult like her. Cue AJ who skips to the ring and then snaps, beating the tar out of Vickie and sending her running away.

We get a retrospective of HHH’s time in DX, most of which apparently was in 2006.

It’s time for anger management with Daniel Bryan. He says he doesn’t need to be here because he’s calm and not a loser. A kid comes in wearing a goat mask and Bryan snaps. The doctor says that the kid is his son and he’s in a school play. More later.

Some actor in a WWE Films movie is the social media ambassador.

Punk has sent out a tweet about Lawler and that snaps Jerry. He gets on the table and talks about the people he fought in Memphis, one of which was Andy Kaufman. Lawler is in the WWE Hall of Fame and he got there by standing up to people when he needed to. The match is on tonight.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Non-title of course. Cena takes him to the mat to start with a headlock and we take a quick break. Back with Josh Matthews having taken over for Lawler. Miz is on the floor after escaping an AA. Cena bulldogs Miz down for two but the Champion gets in a shot to Cena to take over. The corner clothesline and top rope double ax gets two. Off to the chinlock as we actually hear about the movie Miz is going to be in. It’s the third Marine movie so take that for what it’s worth.

Cena easily counters out of it with a suplex but Miz hits the backbreaker and neckbreaker combo for two. Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere but Miz is near the ropes. Miz immediately kicks Cena’s knee out and DDTs him down for two. The Final is countered but Miz hits Matt Hardy’s Side Effect for two. Cena blocks the Finale again and starts his finishing sequence. AA gets the completely clean pin at approximately 10:00.

Rating: C. Not bad here and I’ll spare you my usual complaints about a champion losing clean. At least it was to Cena and not someone that was at about the same level that Miz is at. My guess is that this is so Cena can come out at the end of the show which is fine. I like that Miz has changed some of his offense since his return. It’s working pretty well for him.

You can pick from a tables match, a cage match or a No DQ match for the main event.

HHH is still awesome apparently. This one focuses on the torn quad. That would be the first torn quad. The pop for his return in 2002 is still amazing.

Bryan complains about having a bad boss and shows how insane wrestling angles are when you explain then out loud. The last patient for the group shows up and it’s Kane, in full attire including the welding mask.

Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella

Comedy match ahoy! Santino does a slow motion takedown and dances around on Slater’s back. It turns into a dance off but Slater punches him in the face instead. Slater puts him down and goes up but Santino keeps rolling away. Santino starts his comeback and hits his usual stuff before loading up the Cobra. Cue Aksana for the distraction but he hits Slater with it anyway and the pin at 3:14.

Rating: N/A. This was mainly dancing and the rest of the match makes my eyes roll. Next.

Brodus Clay/Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow

Cody and Sandow say they’re smart before the match. This is joined in progress after a break with Cody holding Cara in a chinlock. Off to Sandow for that spinning elbow before it’s back to Cody. Cara snaps off a rana and makes the tag to Brodus. A powerslam gets two on Cody but it draws Sandow in to break it up. Cara sends him to the floor and dives onto Damien to take him out. Brodus headbutts Cody out of the air and splashes him for the pin at 2:35 shown.

Back at anger management, Kane takes off his mask to reveal his second mask. Kane explains his entire character’s history and it’s absolutely hilarious. “I’ve buried my brother alive. Twice actually. And for reasons unclear, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose.” Everyone else leaves and Kane chokes a guy named Harold who gets too close to him. This was GREAT.

More HHH stuff.

R-Truth vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan tries to suppress his anger on the way to the ring. Truth and Bryan actually fist bump before the match starts. The fans chant GOAT FACE at Bryan to tick him off. Bryan fist bumps Little Jimmy before firing off the kicks to Truth. Truth comes back with the spinning forearm for two and sends Bryan to the floor. In a funny bit, Truth grabs the mic and says that YES, we are in Milwaukee! That makes Bryan snap and he yells at the crowd long enough to get counted out at 3:05.

Rating: C+. Most of this is for the comedy alone. Bryan is on FIRE right now and when he turns face it’s going to be huge. Also, thank goodness they didn’t have a champion lose again. This was barely even a match but it worked well for the anger thing. Also, Bryan continues to get the loudest reactions of the night.

Bryan snaps and freaks out in the ring.

Here’s HHH for the big announcement about whether or not he’s retiring. He talks about how he wanted to retire before the ring retired him. You can’t fight time and he doesn’t want to be the guy who comes back for the nostalgia pop and comes out because he’s just getting a check. Lesnar has brought him to this point. HHH says he wants to come out here and be the Game and the Cerebral Assassin and beat up Lesnar, but he doesn’t know if he can.

If he can’t come back and beat Lesnar, maybe he’s answered his own question. HHH talks about how everyone comes out here every week for the fans and every time someone comes through the curtain, they hope the fans care. “I think that every time I’ve come to the ring, you’ve all cared.” We’re just ignoring 2003 now aren’t we? HHH starts crying and says thank you for letting him play the game. He drops the mic and the fans chant “thank you Hunter.”

Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

Ziggler comes out to Jericho’s entrance but says you’ll never see him again after last week. Cole explains the MITB idea in detail as Orton and Ziggler start things off. Orton hits a quick slingshot suplex for no cover as he has to take out an interfering Del Rio. Sheamus hits a shoulder from the apron to take Alberto down. Ziggler bails to the floor as well as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio sending Orton into the post and then back inside for Ziggler to hit a knee to the ribs for two. Off to Alberto who starts in on the arm as is his custom. Orton sends Del Rio to the floor and finally makes the tag to Sheamus as Ziggler is brought in for the other team. White Noise is countered but the Irish Curse hits as everything breaks down. Ricardo throws in the briefcase but Orton hits the backbreaker on Ziggler followed by the Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C-. This was nothing of note at all and really should have been saved for the main event of Smackdown. It looks like we’re getting Ziggler vs. Orton which is fine with me, as Orton seems like a guy who would have great chemistry with Dolph in the ring. Not much to see here but it advanced both feuds to a degree, which is fine.

Lawler asks Cena to not help him tonight. Cena seems to agree.

Kane comes out and Matthews runs off. Kane sits down on commentary for the next match.

David Otunga vs. Zach Ryder

Cole talks about social media and mentions Otunga being in a movie with “Holly” Berry. Otunga controls to start as Cole keeps trying to get anything out of Kane. It’s sad to see the fans not care about Ryder at all anymore, but can you blame them? Ryder goes up but gets tripped off the ropes. That means nothing though as the Rough Ryder hits out of nowhere for the pin at 2:24.

Post match Kane grabs Ryder by the throat but lets him go and chokeslams Otunga instead. Ok then.

Cage match wins the poll by a large margin.

AJ comes out and says it’s Cena vs. Punk at Night of Champions because she says so. Doesn’t that make the whole ending of last week’s show pointless?

CM Punk vs. Jerry Lawler

In a cage because the fans want it that way. Punk offers Lawler a free shot and it knocks Punk into the corner. This is non-title of course. Punk comes back with a neckbreaker as this match is going very slowly to start. As they’re going this slowly, I saw a report that says that Harold from earlier was played by Scorpio Sky, aka Mason Andrews from recent TNA fame. Lawler gets slammed onto the mat and Punk goes up the corner.

That goes nowhere as Lawler moves so Punk snap mares him down and hits a low dropkick. CM goes up again but gets crotched. Lawler goes for the door but Punk pulls him back in and drops a bunch of elbows. Punk keeps saying he’s the King of Memphis, Tennessee. Another neckbreaker is countered and Punk is sent into the cage. The fans think this is boring as Lawler makes his comeback. He goes up and drops the strap and the middle rope punch hits for two. Punk hits the knee in the corner and the Rock Bottom into the Vice for the tap at 7:40.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Lawler looked old and slow here, which to be fair is true. The cage meant nothing at all here, because there was no point to putting this in a cage. But hey, the fans got to vote on it and that means people care right? Nothing to see here for the most part, but at least it ends this Punk vs. Lawler jazz.

Post match Punk goes under the ring and finds a chain and a lock. He locks the cage shut and puts Lawler in a chinlock. Punk appears to be bleeding from the forearm. He demands that Lawler say he’s the best in the world but Lawler won’t do it. Punk beats on him until Cena comes out but Cena can’t get in. Instead of, I don’t know, climbing the cage, he screams to raise the cage as Punk drops a bunch of knees on Lawler’s head. It finally goes up and Punk says he’s the best in the world before bailing.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was hit and miss all night. A lot of the stuff that happened here came and went and seemed to be to build for later matches. That’s fine, but it can get pretty dull at times. On the other hand, you had stuff like the Kane segment at anger management which was great. HHH’s promo was just a waste of time as no one believes that he’s going to retire in the middle of a pretty meaningless show in Milwaukee. It wasn’t a bad show but it came and went, which doesn’t really help anyone.

Results

Ryback b. Jack Swagger – Shell Shock

Layla b. Natalya – Kick to the head

John Cena b. The Miz – Attitude Adjustment

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Brodus Clay/Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow – Splash to Rhodes

R-Truth b. Daniel Bryan via countout

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to Ziggler

Zach Ryder b. David Otunga – Rough Ryder

CM Punk b. Jerry Lawler – Anaconda Vice

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: August 24, 2012
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentator: Michael Cole

We’re past Summerslam and Sheamus is still the champion. He kept the title by pinning Del Rio, but there was some controversy at the end as Del Rio had his foot on the ropes. Then on Raw, Alberto got pinned by Orton, so I think we might be seeing another triple threat in the near future. Well to be fair we haven’t had one in almost five days so it’s high time for one. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the title match at Summerslam.

Here’s Orton to open things up. He says that he’s never been a glass half full kind of guy. He’s the kind of guy that would like to shatter the glass (again with the Austin motif) and beat up the guy that came up with that stupid expression. Randy says he deserves the world title shot after beating Del Rio on Monday. However, there are probably some people that disagree with him in the back, so he invites them to come out here right now.

Instead he gets Sheamus which isn’t the result he was expecting. Sheamus talks about how Alberto has lost every chance he’s had at the title and he’s lost twice in a row now “fair and square”. Sheamus wants to defend the title against Orton but here’s Booker with a rebuttal. He asks the fans if they’re interested in seeing Orton vs. Sheamus….but here’s Alberto to interrupt.

Del Rio says that Sheamus is a cheater and Orton is an animal. He whines and whines about how unfair everything is and Booker caves and makes him #1 contender. Actually scratch that because the whining has made Booker change his mind. Tonight it’s Del Rio vs. Orton for the title shot at Night of Champions.

We get a recap of Josh Matthews getting injured by Kane at Summerslam. Teddy Long is filling in for him tonight. Apparently there’s going to be a different commentator filling in on each match.

Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal

Ryback pounds Mahal in the face as Cole talks about how Teddy should be upset that he’s not the boss anymore. Mahal escapes a powerslam and sends Ryback into the corner to take over. The running knee to the face gets one but an attempted seated boot at the face is caught by Ryback. The fans chant FEED ME MORE as Ryback hits a powerslam. The clothesline and Shell Shock end this at 2:53. Now move Ryback up the card already.

Layla vs. Alicia Fox

Kaitlyn is guest commentator. Tiffany’s song does not work well at all for Layla. Now I’m not one to usually notice crowd noise being piped in, but when Layla gets a pop as she holds up the belt and a wide shot shows almost no one moving, I think there’s something fake there. Layla hits her double jump springboard cross body for two. Kaitlyn talks about Natalya complaining about being eliminated from the battle royal “last night”. Layla gets kicked off the ropes and Alicia goes after the knee. A half crab is broken up and Layla hits a high kick for the pin at 2:04. Nothing to see here.

Eve comes out post match and raises both of their hands.

Raw ReBound talks about the end of the show.

Ziggler brags to Vickie about getting rid of Jericho on Monday. Sheamus pops in and says there’s no time like the present, so why not have a match tonight? Ziggler says no but Teddy comes up and says yes.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

Cody is the guest commentator. Cara takes him down with a snapmare to start and a dropkick puts Slater into the corner. Slater knocks him to the floor with a shoulder to the ribs to take over and it’s off to the chinlock. Cody gets in a backhanded compliment to Slater by saying that this is the only match he has a chance to win this year. Cara does the corner rope walk into the armdrag to send Slater out to the floor before hitting a dive over the top. They head back in but Cody turns Cara’s mask around, allowing Slater to hit a reverse DDT for the pin at 2:35. This was angle advancement.

Cody goes for the mask again but referees stop him.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

No entrance for the champ. Vickie does commentary of course. Ziggler bails to the floor to start before charging back into a headlock takeover. Dolph comes back with a chinlock as Vickie runs down AJ. Sheamus comes back and tries White Noise but Ziggler bails to the apron. Ziggler trips him up and drops Sheamus onto the apron with a DDT for two.

Back to the chinlock followed by a failed sleeper attempt. Sheamus hits some power strikes followed by the ten forearms in the ropes. White Noise looks to set up the Brogue Kick but Ziggler bails to the corner. Vickie slips him the case and he blasts Sheamus with it for the DQ at 4:55.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t great but how much can you do in five minutes with a DQ ending? These two have the chemistry together which is a good thing and I liked that they didn’t have Ziggler about to lose. He was in trouble but he avoided the kick and things would have been almost at a standoff after that.

Ziggler hits Sheamus again with the case and looks to cash in but Sheamus gets up and stares him down so Ziggler takes the case back and runs.

Wade Barrett is still coming back.

Here’s Santino with something to say. Santino talks about how long he was US Champion and how he doesn’t feel like an American anymore. Then he ate apple pie and felt better. No seriously, that’s what he said. Santino isn’t sure if he can talk to the Cobra anymore so he puts it on and sees if things are ok.

He remembers the good times with the Cobra but on Sunday, the Cobra cost him the title because of its attraction to Aksana. Santino quotes Roberto De Niro and asks if you can milk him because he has nipples. Oh wait he meant to quote Rocky Balboa and says if he can change everybody can change. That fires the Cobra up and he says they can win the title again.

Thankfully Cesaro comes out to interrupt with new music. Cesaro does the five languages thing with the word this week being winner. He says that unlike Santino, he’s a winner. That fires Santino up and they brawl on the stage with Santino loading up the Cobra, only to be distracted by Aksana. The Cobra, not Santino. The distraction lets Cesaro deck him and leave Santino laying. This is modern WWE for you: we finally get a young talent like Cesaro pushed to a title and he feuds with a guy over a sock on the challenger’s hand being attracted to Cesaro’s girlfriend.

Primo/Epico vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Non-title here. The Prime Time Players are the guest commentators. Cole suggests the tag champions have the Players’ number. Titus: “You mean our phone number?” Kofi and Epico start things off and it’s a standoff with both guys trying dropkicks. Epico pounds away on him in the corner and it’s off to Primo. Cole tries to learn the bark as Epico hits a slingshot hilo for two. Titus does a Booker imitation as the commentary continues to move further and further away from the match. Off to Truth who cleans house and hits a gordbuster on Epico. Everything breaks down and Little Jimmy gets the pin on Primo at 2:17.

Video on the Japan tour.

Kofi and Truth say they’ll fight anyone. Little Jimmy thinks there’s a lot of good competition around here. The Players come in and say they deserve the shot. The Usos, Kidd/Gabriel and Epico/Primo all come in and it’s a big brawl.

Teddy tells Booker the brawl has been broken up. Booker asks Teddy who deserves the shot. Teddy isn’t sure so Eve comes in and has a win/loss chart for the teams over the last six months. She’s also organized his schedule for the next six weeks. Booker is pleased and Teddy isn’t sure what to think.

Recap video on Kane vs. Bryan.

Since this show isn’t boring enough already, here’s a long recap of HHH/Lesnar/HBK from Raw. Seriously that speech made you think HHH died.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Winner gets Sheamus presumably at Night of Champions so he’s on commentary here. They fight for control to start but Randy hits a slingshot suplex of all things for two and takes over. He hits the slingshot into the bottom rope but Del Rio comes back with a quick armbar attempt. That gets countered into a neckbreaker to send Del Rio to the outside as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock. During the break Orton’s arm was sent into the steps so the arm is hurt as usual. A knee to the ribs stops Orton’s attempt at a comeback and Alberto pounds away on the arm. The running enziguri in the corner misses and Orton gets fired up. Well, as fired up as Orton can get. Orton’s clotheslines set up the powerslam but the elevated DDT is countered by Del Rio pulling on Randy’s arm.

That’s the extent of his offense though as Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Del Rio hits the Codebreaker on the arm out of nowhere for two and Randy is in trouble again. The armbreaker is countered and a dropkick puts Del Rio down and gets a delayed two. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but Del Rio hangs onto the ropes, sending Orton’s arm into the mat again. There’s the armbreaker and in what has to be a surprise, Orton taps clean at 6:46 shown of 10:16.

Rating: C. The ending was a nice surprise but at the end of the day, it means Del Rio vs. Sheamus for the third month in a row with nothing changing at this point. All of the hope that I had for something new at Night of Champions are gone, presumably because Orton needs to go film a movie that about 8 people will admit to seeing. It does at least give Del Rio a clean win over someone which he’s needed for a long time.

Post match Del Rio throws a shoe at Sheamus to draw the champ in, allowing Ricardo and Alberto to beat Sheamus down. With Sheamus down, here’s Ziggler to cash in but Orton hits an RKO on Dolph for no apparent reason other than I guess Dolph needs someone new to feud with. Someone must have landed on the case because there’s a big dent in it now.

Overall Rating: D. Smackdown is such a mess anymore. We had a bunch of short matches tonight and a bunch of nonsense. First and foremost, why in the world are there three people in charge on this show? They’re wasting time on a feud between Teddy Long vs. Eve Torres. Think about that for a minute. Other than that, we have Del Rio vs. Sheamus AGAIN, which was dull the first time, stupid and dull the second time, and grounds for an insanity defense this time.

We have a tag title feud with a bunch of teams and I’d almost bet money on the Prime Time Players getting the titles after having lost clean TWICE now to Kofi and Truth, because you couldn’t just put the freaking belts on them in the first place because….because…..oh like WWE has any clue why they do what they do with those belts. Oh and don’t forget the US Title, the same title (in name only) that saw Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum TA in one of the greatest matches ever, being fought over because of a sock that has a mind of its own. This show is a disaster and it’s clear that no one behind the scenes cares about it at all.

Results

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal – Shell Shock

Layla b. Alicia Fox – High Kick to the head

Heath Slater b. Sin Cara – Reverse DDT

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler used the MITB briefcase

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Epico/Primo – Little Jimmy to Primo

Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton – Cross Armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews