Impact Wrestling – July 12, 2012: Return of the Old People

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the beginning of the Age of Aries which is more astrology than I ever expected to use in this show. Aries beat Roode for the title on Sunday in a big upset but it worked very well. Also the people that attacked Sting are here tonight which should be interesting. TNA continued its roll on Sunday and hopefully they can get a new Impact streak going tonight. Let’s get to it.

Bully Ray vs. Joseph Park

This is the rematch after their match at whatever show that was. Slammiversary I believe? This is anything goes and Abyss is barred from the building. We start with some comedy stuff as Park puts his hands up like he did at the PPV, but Ray has had enough of the attorney and beats him down. He even tweets something during the match. Ray heads to the floor and gets some weapons in a trashcan. Park takes Ray down but takes too long getting a chair ready and Ray takes over.

Park makes a comeback with some rights and lefts but he gets caught by a big boot to the head. Ray heads to the floor and pulls out a bag of something. Ah it’s the classic bag of tacks and Ray asks for the mic. He says this is what he should have done to Abyss a long time ago. Park comes back with a cheese grater to the balls and a kendo stick shot to the head for two. He hits something like a chokeslam onto the tacks for two and Ray gets the chain. A shot to Park’s face with that gets the pin at about 6:00 (I missed the opening bell).

Rating: C. This was the only possible outcome they could have here. Park winning once on a fluke with Abyss helping was one thing, but when it was one on one there wasn’t much else they could do. This was exactly what you would expect it to be and there’s nothing wrong with that. Fun match and the right continuation for the feud.

The shot busted Park open and he freaks out about it. Ray charges at Park and runs into the Black Hole Slam. Park wakes up and doesn’t believe what just happened. Tenay: “Ray just brought out the monster in Park.” Subtle Mike.

Sting is in the back with the Dead Man’s Hand from last week. That should be interesting.

After a break Ray wants to know who that was. He beat Joseph Park, but who was that.

Here are the updated BFG Series Standings:

Samoa Joe 37

James Storm 36

Jeff Hardy 21

Kurt Angle 20

Magnus 14

Mr. Anderson 9

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Rob Van Dam 7

AJ Styles 7

Christopher Daniels 5

Bully Ray 0

Robbie E 0

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam has fewer points so he goes for a fast submission. Joe will have none of that and stands Van Dam up, taking his head off with a clothesline. Van Dam heads to the floor but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip back inside. Joe fires off kicks and rolls into a heel hook. Snap powerslam sets up a cross armbreaker but RVD makes a fast rope. Van Dam makes a comeback and hits Rolling Thunder. Joe takes him down and puts on a modified figure four, but RVD counters into a small package for the pin at 4:54.

Rating: C+. This was another fun little match. Van Dam needs some points to get back in the tournament and a small package win over Joe is a fine way to do that. The idea of the match was that Joe was so focused on the submission that he left himself open to be pinned. That’s a basic idea but it worked very well. Good stuff here and it did a few good jobs at once, which is hard to do.

Clair says she has nothing to say.

Hogan is looking for someone.

Here are Daniels and Kaz for a chat. Kaz says that AJ thinks this is ending but it’s just the beginning. They’ve been feuding HOW MANY YEARS now and it’s just beginning? Daniels agrees that what AJ did at the PPV was wrong, but that’s what you have to expect from Styles. He has Clair come out and talks about how she’s gone through a lot, which made her make mistakes. Clair reached out for someone, and that someone wound up being AJ.

Cue Styles who tells Daniels to let it die. Daniels says that there’s something that Styles doesn’t know. He says that he (Daniels) and Clair have talked about this and that there’s something Clair wants to admit. Clair keeps trying to talk but AJ keeps cutting him off. Clair finally gets in and says that Daniels is right about AJ being the father of the baby. AJ says no he’s not and we go to a break.

AJ has no idea what’s going on.

Anderson talks about his match with Angle.

We recap the X Title tournament on Sunday with Ion getting the title. When Sorensen comes back and beats him, the roof is coming off the Impact Zone.

Dakota Darsow says he doesn’t like Ion and what he did on Sunday. Of all the people in the tournament, you pick THIS GUY to put on first?

Zema Ion vs. Dakota Darsow

Non-title. Ion points to his neck so Darsow goes after him. Darsow takes over for a second but gets sent to the apron. In a cool counter, Darsow hits a slingshot spear through the ropes to take Ion down again. Ion hits a Stunner on the top rope and a jumping DDT to take Darsow down and the snap Gory Bomb gets the pin at 2:22. Just a step above a squash.

Ion snaps Darsow’s arm post match. SWEET. Ion says that if Sorensen doesn’t want to see his friends get hurt anymore, he needs to realize that Ion is dangerous. When have Darsow and Sorensen been friends on camera?

Here’s Aries to celebrate his title win. He says this was a great moment for the wrestling industry and actually asks the fans to chill with the cheering so he can talk. It wasn’t in a rude way though. He talks about how wrestling has down cycles and then it booms. TNA is about to lead wrestling into the next boom. He’s gotten congratulations from a lot of people, including celebrities, NFL players, and world champions from other organizations. This is the most important title in wrestling now because he holds it.

Cue Roode who is so angry that he can barely speak. He tries to yell at Aries about having all of this now but he can’t get the words out. There goes his jacket and he shouts the word YOU a lot. He finally calls Aries a fluke and Aries says he may be a fluke, but he’s the champ. Roode freaks out and leaves. Good stuff here.

Sting and Hulk are in the back talking about the attack when D-Von and Garrett come in and says they’re offering protection in case the guys jump Sting again. All Sting has to do is say the word. Hogan says thanks but we’ve got it covered.

Angle talks about his match later tonight.

Madison talks about how she likes Hebner.

Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher

Brooke Hogan is on commentary because I haven’t suffered enough today. Gail takes over to start and works on the arm of the champ. She hooks a belly to back suplex with a hammerlock slam at the same time. Gail hooks some kind of a hold on the arm, followed by Cattle Mutilation of all things. Tessmacher makes her comeback with a facejam out of the corner and that Russian legsweep into a clothesline gets two. A rollup gets two for Gail and she stomps away. Tessmacher knocks her down and hits a top rope elbow off the top to retain at 5:12.

Rating: D+. These girls are getting worse again. Tessmacher is someone who has charisma and looks good in those shorts of hers, but there’s no skill in the ring that I can see. She’s about as good as you can get at this point in her career as she was a model and dancer up to this point, but her matches are nothing to see. Gail was her usual self here.

Clair says she has proof that AJ is the father.

Magnus talks about calling out James Storm next week.

Bound For Glory Series: Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson takes him to the mat to start which is surprising. Angle gets put in an armbar but Kurt quickly breaks it. He takes over with a belly to belly as we take a break. Back with Anderson hitting a suplex to put both guys down. He hits a neckbreaker but Angle rolls the Germans. Angle Slam is countered and there’s the Regal Roll to Angle. That gets two and the Mic Check misses. Angle Slam gets two and there’s the ankle lock, which stays on for a LONG time. Anderson finally rolls out of it and there’s there Mic Check for two. With the bad ankle hindering him, Anderson walks into the Angle Slam for the pin at a time I didn’t get.

Roode rants to Hogan and Sting and it’s going to be Roode vs. Aries next week and if Roode wins, he gets the rematch for the title at Hardcore Justice.

Here’s Sting to close the show. He says it’s great to be back in the Impact Zone and calls out Hogan for his assistance. And there’s no Hogan. The music plays three times and there’s no Hulk. We cut to the back where Brooke is running off what appeared to be four masked guys who have jumped Hulk. Hogan says it’s his leg and the guys jump Sting in the arena. There are five of them here.

Overall Rating: C+. I wasn’t feeling this one. There was way too much focus on Sting and Hogan here and Aries, the guy leading the company into the new era, was on for what, six minutes? That’s not a good sign as while the Sting story is interesting, it’s not what the focus should be on in this company. Decent show overall and WAY better than last week, but it looks like the focus is shifting to the old guys again and that’s the last thing they want to do at this point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – June 28, 2012: Well Hello There X Division. I Thought You Had Died.

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 28, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Back to the Impact Zone for another live show. The main thing tonight is a tag title rematch from the PPV which was great in the first place so hopefully it’ll be the same here tonight. Other than that we have the fallout from Gut Check which isn’t anything of note so far. Also we’ll build up more towards Destination X. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events.

Dixie and AJ say they’re ready to move on.

Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

Anderson has 9 points coming in while Van Dam has zero. They’re already tweeking the rules as all matches are now fifteen minutes. That’s probably a very good idea as the matches last week were really short. They go to the mat for some near falls off small packages to start. Anderson hits a snap suplex for two but Van Dam comes back with a bridging Indian Deathlock with a chinlock as well.

They go to the mat and Van Dam hooks some freaky hold with Anderson getting all tied up. It’s hard to describe actually but it’s kind of like an abdominal stretch on steroids. Russian legsweep gets two for Anderson as does a northern lights suplex for Van Dam. A cartwheel into a moonsault gets two for RVD as well. The split legged moonsault hits knees so Anderson hits his neckbreaker for two again. Van Dam grabs a crucifix rollup out of a fireman’s carry for the pin and seven points at 5:57.

Rating: C+. Anderson’s matches have a style that I don’t usually care for but it worked pretty well here I guess. Van Dam was fine out there and it looked about as good as it was going to. Adding the extra five minutes seems to be a good idea, but it’s not like the other matches couldn’t have done this as well. Still though, not bad here and a good opener.

Here are the updated standings:

Storm 36

Joe 17

Angl 10

Dnderson 9

RVD 7

Pope 7

Magnus

Jeff Hardy 7

Christopher Daniels 5

Bully Ray 0

Robbie E 0

AJ Styles 0

Here’s Aries to talk about his path to get here. He’s graduated from the X Division and has beaten up heavyweights, but he still respects the title. That’s why he came up with Option C and it’s why he’s facing Bobby Roode for the world title at Destination X. But what happens to the title? There’s going to be a tournament at the PPV and it’ll have old and new faces of the Division.

Cue the world champ who says that what he’s holding is the real title. It’s the real world title because he’s made it that way. There are 12 people waiting for a shot at this at Bound For Glory because the title matters so much. Aries gets his shot because of Hulk Hogan and because of Hulk Hogan alone. Option C is a failure, now get out of his ring. Aries says this is his ring, and if Roode wants him out of it, make him get out. Roode bails.

We get a clip from the end of the show last week with Clair admitting she’s an addict.

Clair and Dixie are in the back and Clair says that she met Dixie at a party. She says she has no idea who Kaz and Daniels are but she can’t believe they would use her to get at Dixie and AJ.

Kaz yells at Daniels who he really has no reason to be with anymore. Kaz says this ends tonight and walks out on Daniels. See? It’s not hard to be logical.

X-Division Tournament Qualifying Match: Sonjay Dutt vs. Rubix

No idea who Rubix is but he’s in a mask so it might be someone I’ve seen before. He’s got long limbs. This is one of four qualifying matches so it’s a four man tournament at the PPV. Rubix flies around a bit and sends Sonjay to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and Sonjay hits a springboard splash for two. Rubix hits a German for two but gets caught in a tornado DDT. A moonsault into a double stomp (FREAKING OW MAN) gets the pin for Sonjay at 3:15.

Rating: C+. Take two guys, give them a few minutes, have them fly around and fire up the crowd a lot. Dutt was around back in the day to do lots of flips and there’s nothing wrong with that. He never won the X Title so it’s cool to see him here like this. Good little match here but the amount of time they had hut it a lot. SICK finish though.

We hear from the Gut Check people who talk about Taeler. They aren’t sure about her but they think she’s been through a lot. Apparently her cancer diagnosis was a false one.

We get a clip from last week with Joseph Park and Ray having another confrontation.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Bully Ray

Ray gets in his face so Joe gets right back in his face and it’s a standoff. Ray stalls some more as you would expect him to. They ram into each other a few times but Ray drops him with an elbow smash. There’s a suplex and a falling headbutt for no cover for Ray and we take a break. Back with Joe making a comeback by running at Ray a few times. He slugs Ray in the head but a double clothesline puts both guys down.

Joe tries a suplex but hurts his shoulder in the process. Ray goes after it as the fans chant for the fat boy. Allow me to adjust that statement: they chant for the fat Samoan. Ray works on the arm for awhile but Joe takes it to the floor. That goes badly for him as well as the arm gets rammed into the steps. They’ve been going almost ten minutes here so the time is starting to become a factor.

Ray misses a splash and Joe pounds away with right hands. An atomic drop puts Ray down and the senton backsplash gets two. By my math they’re over 11 minutes in now as Ray hits a Rock Bottom for two. Ray’s middle rope splash misses and he rolls to the floor. Joe hops out and gets his head kicked off….but here’s Joseph Park. He pops Ray with a right hand and Joe grabs the choke for the tap at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Pretty good stuff here with Joe making a big jump up in the standings. Actually scratch that as he’s still in second but he’s a lot closer now. Park continuing his story and having more confidence now is a nice touch as he continues to be one of the most interesting characters on the show. I was thinking this would be a draw so a surprise is always nice.

Park says he’s Joseph Park but Ray is a bully. He talks about being bullied his whole life and it stops tonight. He’s tired of Ray imposing his will on everyone and the people are sick of it too. Park says that in two weeks, he’ll fight Ray again and he’s bringing the fight to Ray.

Tazz and Tenay say to go to the website to listen to the full unedited version of Dixie and AJ’s phone call from a few weeks ago.

Back to Dixie and Clair with Dixie explaining the photo. It was the time that AJ explained how bad it was to Dixie and she kind of snapped. They were going to the hotel to see Clair after she got out of rehab too. The call about Serg was about his birthday. I CALLED THAT ONE WEEKS AGO!

Kaz pleads his case to Daniels and says he can’t tag with him tonight. He wants the tag match but not with Daniels. Hogan says prove that you’re a new man when you’re out there tonight with Daniels. Please, not tag champions that hate each other.

Madison goes up to Garrett and looks very nervous. She says she has a crush on someone and asks what he’s like. It’s not Garrett apparently but she whispers the name in his ear. Garrett says good luck with that and leaves.

Brooke gives Tessmacher a campaign with Direct Auto Insurance. Gail comes up to complain and talks trash. Hogan continues her bad acting and tells Gail that she gets her rematch next week.

X-Division Tournament Qualifying Match: Rashad Cameron vs. Mason Andrews

Cameron has a BIG afro while Mason looks almost identical to Percy Watson. They speed things up to start and Andrews sends him to the floor. He hits a HUGE dive but trips on the rope and hits Rashad in the head. If he wasn’t out cold I’m amazed. Back in they speed things up again and Cameron dropkicks him out of the air for two. Apparently Mason is Scorpio Sky from PWG.

They go back and forth a bit with Andrews hitting a jumping knee to the head and a springboard cross body for two. Cameron knocks him to the floor and hits a BIG flip dive. Back in he goes up but gets ranaed down for two. Andrews is almost sent into the corner but as he turns around Cameron hits a jumping Downward Spiral (think R-Truth’s Little Jimmy) for the pin at 4:04.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the sloppiness hurt it. Again the idea of throwing people out there and having them fly around is the best idea you can go with at times. I just hope this lasts beyond the PPV unlike last year where Destination X happened and then it stopped happening. Bringing in some new faces for it doesn’t hut at all though.

Cameron says this is the beginning of the Rashad Cameron movement.

Hogan is on the phone and talking about Sting. Storm and Hardy are with him and want to know what’s going on with Sting. Hogan doesn’t quite know what’s going on. Storm says he’s ready and Hardy says he’s feeling the Series. They fight next week.

Gut Check time. Taeler says last week she gave it her best and she’s ready to shine. The fans chant YES and Tazz agrees with them. Snow says he’s been around Taeler a lot and here’s Joey Ryan to yell at Tazz. He’s in the front row and yells a lot but we can’t really hear what he’s saying. Security gets him out as the segment grinds to a halt. Ok back in the ring now and Snow says no. Taeler gets 30 seconds to convince Pritchard. She says someone gave every one of them a shot and that’s all she wants. Bruce says he isn’t sure if she’s ready yet but he’ll give her a yes anyway.

Angle says the old AJ is back and that’s a great thing. AJ says he’s ready. He gets Daniels at Destination X in a last man standing match.

Tag Titles: Kurt Angle/AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

Daniels and Kaz are challenging but Kaz doesn’t like Daniels all that much right now. He and AJ start and AJ takes him down followed by a kick to the back. Off to Angle and Kaz tags out, almost by slapping the taste out of Daniels’ mouth. Kurt charges into a boot and Daniels hits his slingshot elbow. Off to Kaz who covers off that elbow for some reason. Daniels yells at Kaz and tags himself back in but runs from AJ. The challengers argue on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Daniels in control of AJ and hitting his running STO for two. Angle comes in and cleans house. He fires off Rolling Germans on Kaz and does the same to Daniels. Kaz grabs a TKO for two on Kurt but gets caught in the ankle lock. That gets broken up quickly and everything breaks down. AJ clotheslines Kaz down but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb. Angle gets sent into the referee by Daniels so Chris grabs a chair. Kaz pulls it away and lets AJ hit the Pele. Kaz tells AJ to finish this, but then hits AJ in the back with a chair, giving Daniels the pin and the titles at 11:34.

Rating: B-. So Kaz is evil for the sake of being evil. I guess that works, but would this count as two turns in the same show? Eh it’s fine as it’s better with AJ and Kurt not being champions again as the titles weren’t really fitting on them. This was nowhere near as good as the Slammiversary match but it was fine for a TV main event.

Daniels says Clair didn’t tell all of the truth because her baby’s daddy is AJ. Let the soap opera continue.

Overall Rating: B-. Another good show this week although there are some holes in it. It’s personal taste but I can’t stand the Gut Check stuff. I don’t like reality TV at all so I’m definitely not the right audience for it. Bringing in new people for the X Division is a good thing as that division is dying for a lack of depth right now. This was another good show though as the positives far outweigh the negatives.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – June 21, 2012: Impact Keeps Rolling Along

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 21, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s Open Fight Night 3 and the BFG Series gets going tonight as well. The two main focuses of the show though are going to be Aries decision about forfeiting the X Title in exchange for a world title match and Dixie revealing what is going on with her and AJ. TNA is on a total roll at this point so hopefully they can keep things going. Oh and we might be able to find out who attacked Sting. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Hogan to open things up. He isn’t going to give the masked men any more publicity but things will be made right for Sting. That’s enough about that though so let’s talk about Austin’s choice. Here’s Aries to answer Hogan’s ultimatum. He talks about being given two options, either to drop the title for a shot or keep this title. Aries says he has Option C: he’ll hand over the title for his title shot, but every year the X Champion gets the same option at Destination X. Hogan says ok, and here’s Roode.

Bobby freaks out and asks if Hogan and Aries are kidding him. He told Hogan to stay in the office a long time ago. Roode wants to know what Aries thinks he’s doing because the X Title means nothing to Roode. He talks about how he won’t be a footnote and says he’ll keep his title at Destination X. Aries says this is Open Fight Night so let’s do it right now. They brawl in the aisle until the agents break it up. Once they’re split up, here’s Anderson, who says he’ll win the BFG Series and face the winner.

Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. Christopher Daniels

They’re going to have everyone face everyone in this which is a BIG improvement over last year where they seemingly had people fighting at random. Also every match has a ten minute time limit. Daniels works on the arm of Anderson which may have been injured by Roode last week. An elbow to the face puts Daniels down but the Mic Check is countered into a Blue Thudner Bomb. Anderson pops back up again and hits his spinning neckbreaker into the Mic Check for the pin at 3:04, giving Anderson 7 points.

Rating: C-. This was barely long enough to rate which makes it hard to talk about. This is the first part of a LONG series so it’s hard to say where things are going from here. Anderson seems to be getting a push in this as he’s coming in after being the #1 contender. I’m not wild on either of these guys but how much can you complain about in three minutes?

AJ thinks there’s another way to do this. Dixie isn’t sure.

Brooke is in the back with the Knockouts who might be getting the title match tonight. The girls have to tell her why they want the title. ODB says she’s different than everyone else. Madison says she’s held the title forever and Brooke tells her to drop the crush. Mickie says she’s the best female wrestler in the world and Madison says she’s the second longest reigning champion ever. Madison gets thrown out. Velvet didn’t say anything.

Robbie challenges anyone in the BFG Series to a match.

Bound For Glory Series: Robbie E. vs. Kurt Angle

Suplex, Angle Slam, ankle lock, ten points for Angle in 31 seconds.

Video on Taeler Hendrix who is the Gut Check girl tonight.

Here’s Magnus who says he’s going to pick his opponent for a BFG Series match here. Women around the world want a shot at him so he knows what it’s like to have women trouble. He doesn’t go after other men’s wives though, so AJ, get out here.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Magnus

AJ charges into the ring and starts fast. A backbreaker puts Magnus down but AJ changes his mind before going up. Magnus pops up and catches AJ’s cross body into a suplex. Cool counter. AJ snaps off his dropkick but the Pele misses. Off to a chinlock which AJ breaks before Daniels and Kaz come out with more papers. The distraction allows Magnus to hit a Juvy Driver for the pin at 2:31 for seven points.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Tara

Gut Check time. Tara suplexes her down but gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two. Tara chokes her in the corner for awhile before getting caught in a Stratusphere. Joseph Park is being taken out for some reason. Hendrix comes back with some clotheslines but a spin kick misses. Widow’s Peak and it’s over at 2:36.

Back from a break and Park wants to know why he’s being taken to the back. It turns out to be a trap set by Ray, who yells at Park. Park talks about Ray beating him up last week and gets shoved for it. If Ray ever sees either of them again, it’ll be the last time they’re ever seen.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. James Storm

Joe pounds him down into the corner and hits his kick to take Storm down. The armbar is countered as Storm makes the rope so Joe slaps on a nerve hold. Storm fights out of it but walks into a snap powerslam for two, followed by an armbar. They trade forearms but Joe goes back to the arm to slow Storm down. There’s a crossface chickenwing but Storm breaks that quickly as well. The Cowboy goes up top but gets kicked in the head. No MuscleBuster but Joe hooks the Clutch. That gets broken up and the Last Call ends this at 3:56.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Joe seemed to be outmatches by Storm at almost every turn. I like Joe being all fired up again and he looks like he’s lost some weight on top of that. Storm is pretty clearly the favorite to win the whole series which is probably the right move, but again I don’t know if they need to spend three months building that up when he has a built in story already.

We recap the AJ/Dixie stuff which has been going on for awhile now.

Back to the Knockouts Reality Show with Velvet saying she never got a rematch. ODB gets thrown out because of Eric Young. Next.

Bound For Glory Series: D’Angelo Dinero vs. Bully Ray

This is another call out, this time by Bully. Ray jumps Pope to start and gets some quick two counts. A boot to the face puts Dinero down but a splash misses for Ray. Dinero comes back with some elbows but Ray hits a corner splash. As he pounds away in the corner, here’s Abyss in the crowd. He tells Ray to bring it and the DDE sends Ray to the floor. Abyss comes over the rail and goes after Ray, who gets back in the ring but walks into an STO for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: C-. Not much here as these short matches are getting a little annoying. Abyss vs. Ray is still probably the most interesting story on the show right now which is covering a lot of territory. Pope was pretty much there to fill in a spot and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m not sure if he’s going to be able to do that forever.

Hogan makes Hardy vs. RVD as the main event because they’re the only two BFG people that haven’t fought tonight.

Here’s the Montgomery Gentry video with Velvet in it.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

Ok then. Feeling out process to start with Mickie taking her down to the mat pretty quickly. She hooks a chinlock with a bridge and even adds in a cheap shot. Mickie hasn’t ever been heel in TNA that I remember so that could be something interesting to see. Brooke gets in a few shots including a facejam out of the corner but Mickie takes her down with that spin kick of hers for two. Tessmacher hooks a sunset flip out of nowhere for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note but it was fuel for Mickie’s apparent heel turn. See, this is a big difference in what you get in today’s TNA than what you would likely get under Russo’s TNA. Here, Mickie has had little things like the music video going to Velvet to start her down this path before she just does it. With the old system of stuff, it would happen all of a sudden and you would have to fill in the gaps yourself. Here, it’s slowly built up and we get the payoff for the build. That’s called good storytelling.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Van Dam takes him down with a leg scissors but Jeff speeds things up, hitting a legdrop to the back of Van Dam’s head and a pair of dropkicks for two. Hardy sends him to the floor but van Dam comes off the top with the jumping kick. Rolling Thunder gets two as does the split legged moonsault. Hardy comes back with a bulldog but the Swanton misses. Van Dam goes up and tries a 450 of all things, but Hardy moves. DDT gets two and the Twist gets the pin at 3:48.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good but again the shortness of it isn’t helping anything. The 450 was a nice surprise and it’s good to see someone getting a clean pin in the main event here. Granted that’s what’s been happening lately though so I can’t complain much in that regard either. Good stuff here, but way too short.

Here are AJ and Dixie for the big reveal. The fans still cheer for Styles because he’s their hero. Dixie has trouble talking and AJ says we don’t have to do this. Some woman comes out and says she wants to do this. Both of them seem to know who she is and she seems to be pregnant. She says she’s known both of them forever and says they’ve both helped her a lot. She’s going to tell us the truth: they’re not having an affair.

This chick says she’s an addict and she’s stolen money to pay for it. She’s woken up with a stranger more than once and had to go to AJ and Dixie for help. AJ took her to rehab and the video/photos were about her. Daniels is freaking out in the back and here he comes. AJ runs him over as the girls get out. Here’s Kaz as well and AJ beats him up too. AJ kills Kaz with a powerbomb and Peles Daniels. He pounds away on him as the show ends.

Overall Rating: B-. I was happy with the amount of wrestling we got, although the longest match being less than six minutes if I remember right didn’t help much. I like the way this show is going lately though as Hogan has been kept to a MUCH more reasonable amount and the angles have been given time to grow and develop, which was probably th ebiggest issue with Russo’s booking. Another solid episode here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – June 14, 2012: Sting Closes Another Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 14, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

After this Sunday’s great Slammiversary show, it’s time for Impact again. We begin the 2012 Bound For Glory series tonight as well as see the return of the Ultimate X, which I believe is the begin of the buildup to Destination X. We also have Anderson vs. Roode for the title which should be….uh yeah. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Storm, who returned at the PPV and is coming for the title again.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin vs. Zema Ion

Ion immediately goes to the corner and is promptly pulled down and gets LAUNCHED into the corner. Aries and Sabin have a nice gymnastics routine resulting in Aries taking Sbain down for the Pendulum Elbow. Ion pops back up and goes for the belt, only to be taken down by Sabin almost immediately. Sabin comes back with the springboard tornado DDT but Aries stops Sabin from going for the belt.

Aries gets Sabin onto his shoulders and rams him into the buckle a few times like he’s setting for an Oklahoma Stampede, but instead goes with an airplane spin. Since he’s dizzy he can’t climb, so he tries a slingshot dive instead. Ion gets back in and Aries has to take them both down before hitting the suicide dive to both guys on the floor. Aries almost makes it to the belt but Ion makes the save.

Aries and Ion go to the corner and Ion gets rammed into the structure so that Aries can go for the belt. Ion gets back up though, only to get ranaed down to the mat. Brainbuster ends Ion and it’s time to go for the belt. Using his legs to help hold him up, Aries crawls across and gets the title at 7:23. Sabin disappeared for the last minute or two of the match and is helped to the back by the referee.

Rating: B-. This was very fast paced but the ending and length of the match hurt it. It looks like Sabin is legit injured given how long he was out at the end of the match, and though I don’t think he was supposed to win or anything, it didn’t help that he was gone for so long. Aries keeping the title is interesting, although with Destination X in a few weeks it’s not surprising.

Post match Aries gets in the ring and says that he’s been here for a year and things are going slowly for him. He’s been champion longer than anyone else but he’s tired of things moving so slowly. He wants to take respect rather than wait for it….and here’s Hogan as we take a break. Hogan talks about how he’s been where Aries wants to go and holds all the records and then calls the fans down for chanting for some reason. Hulk has never gotten goosebumps like he gets when he sees Aries wrestling. He’s willing to make Roode vs. Aries for the world title, but if Aries wins, he has to forfeit the X Title. Aries has a week to decide.

We get some clips from Slammiversary, including Joseph Park beating up Ray. We go to the back at catering with Park eating and talking to some people about the match at Slammiversary. They all leave when Ray comes up, wanting to know where Abyss is. Park says he was last seen putting Ray through a table. Ray turns the table over and says he won’t rest until he finds Abyss.

TV Title: Hernandez vs. D-Von

Before the bell Hernandez dives over the top to crush D-Von. A quick cover gets two and we’re off very fast. D-Von avoids a charge in the corner and gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Hernandez throws on a bearhug but D-Von comes back with a shoulder block and right hands. D-Von starts getting some momentum together but gets run over by Hernandez with a kind of shoulder to send him flying. SuperMex goes up top and kind of slips off with a shoulder block. And never mind as the spinebuster retains the title at 3:34.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and I’ll give them credit for this: TNA is doing a much better job of making their titles seem like they matter. When the titles finally change hands, the wins are going to mean something. Even with D-Von, as long as it’s not to some schmuck like Garrett or Robbie. Decent match here but nothing great.

We recap AJ/Dixie/Serg last week.

AJ and Dixie are in the back and AJ says he doesn’t want to keep this going anymore. It can’t be a secret anymore.

Bound For Glory Series: Gauntlet Match

I have no idea how the points are working here but the Series is back and the winner gets the title match at BFG. The participants are going to be introduced in this match. Up first we have AJ vs. Jeff Hardy. There’s a new entrant every 90 seconds and the winner gets 20 points and it’s over the top elimination only. After nothing between those two, RVD is #3. I’d assume there are 12 people in this too.

RVD monkey flips AJ and hits Rolling Thunder on Hardy as we take a break. Back with Magnus already in at #4 and Ray coming down as #5. With still nothing of note going on and no eliminations, Angle is #6. Other than Magnus this is pretty stacked so far. Angle Germans everyone and things slow down again. The Pope finally returns at #7 and we’re told that he’s going to be in Dark Knight Rises, which is only called The Batman Movie.

No one has been eliminated yet. Hardy is thrown to the apron and a big boot from Ray puts him on the floor and out. Abyss comes out from under the ring as everyone closes in on ray. They point out Abyss and the Monster puts Ray out. We take ANOTHER break and come back Robbie E in at #8 but there haven’t been any other eliminations. As I finish that word, Van Dam is out.

#9 is Daniels, giving us Daniels, Pope, AJ, Angle, Robbie and Magnus in the ring at the moment. Angle and AJ try to double team him but AJ accidentally kicks Angle in the head, allowing Daniels to toss Styles. He tosses Angle too and Joe is #10. Joe throws out Robbie with ease and fights off everyone ganging up on him. He and Magnus have a showdown and a low bridge puts the British guy out.

Daniels jumps Joe but the Samoan and Pope double team him as James Storm is #11. He immediately tosses Pope and backdrops Daniels, but doesn’t toss him. Codebreaker to Daniels sets up the superkick to…not eliminate him as it’s a clothesline instead. So we have Joe vs. Storm now and there won’t be any other entrants, as the winner will be whoever loses the main event tonight. Joe throws him to the apron but Storm skins the cat and gets back in. Joe gets sent to the apron but puts on the Clutch. Last Call puts Joe out to win it at 20:40.

Rating: C+. This took awhile to get going but the ending was good. It’s pretty clear that the simple answer would be to have Storm vs. Roode V or whatever number they’re on at BFG but you never can tell with TNA. That’s probably the right move, although I don’t think they need a three month series to set that up.

Storm talks about being here and saying that the last time he was here, his luck had run out. Then he was on his farm with his daughter and his daughter asked if he was really done with wrestling. That was enough to get him back here and he knows what this means to him again. He came back to be world champion and now he’s back for good.

Roode isn’t worried about Storm, nor is he worried about Anderson.

Angle wants to know what’s up with AJ. He yells at styles about everything being messed up with AJ for the last week and tells him to get his head on straight. AJ says he will.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Madison Rayne

Non-title here. Madison rams her into the corner to start and hits a spinning hair slam for two. Tessmacher comes back with a neckbreaker and a forearm. A middle rope facejam gets two. Brooke (screw you Hogan’s daughter) hits a Russian legsweep into an Eye of the Hurricane for the pin at 2:53.

Brooke is with Gail in the back and is talking about having a fourway for the title next week. Gail complains and says that it should be just her. Brooke doesn’t like the attitude but Gail yells and says she has a rematch clause. Brooke says she has the clause and that she gets to pick the title match. Gail won’t be in the match next week.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Mr. Anderson

It’s just past 9:30 so there’s plenty of time. Anderson takes over to start and cleans house, knocking Roode to the apron and hitting a suplex back in for two. Roode launches him to the floor and misses a dive, sending him crashing out to the floor. Anderson sends him into the steps and we take a break. Back with Roode holding a chinlock followed by a neckbreaker for two.

A knee drop to the back of the neck gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Anderson comes back with a clothesline and neckbreaker followed by the double spin kick. Mic Check is countered into the Crossface but Anderson escapes. Roode sends his shoulder into the post and puts the hold on again….making Anderson tap at 10:46. Ok then.

Rating: C. I wasn’t all that into this match. Anderson came off as a guy challenging because we needed a challenger. The ending was good for putting Roode over and it’s probably good to not have Roode win by the skin of his teeth all the time, but it didn’t quite work that well.

AJ and Dixie say they’ll tell everything next week.

We get a long recap of the whole show up to this point.

We get the Sting HOF video.

Here’s Sting to close the show. He talks about how it took him a long time to get here and how he wants to thank the Jarretts. He starts talking about the future…..and we’ve got masked men. Three big guys jump Sting and choke him with a wire to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty good show, but I’m really not looking forward to the BFG Series. I’d much rather have the title match be about a feud or a rivalry rather than making the match and then putting the feud in, unless they go with the obvious Roode vs. Storm. That being said, Roode vs. Storm doesn’t need a three month series to be set up. I wouldn’t call the show a letdown from Slammiversary, but it had to be a step down given how good that PPV was.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – June 7, 2012: As The Impact Zone Turns

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 7, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another live show and we’re leading up to Slammiversary X this Sunday. The main event is Sting vs. Roode which doesn’t really blow the roof off the place but it’ll do I guess. Tonight we’re supposed to hear from Dixie about the AJ issue, which has been one of the big issues over the past few weeks. Other than that I can’t think of anything else for this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from after the show last week of Dixie freaking out and screaming a lot. She goes into the production truck and wants to know where the footage came from but can’t get an answer.

Dixie is in the ring and is on the verge of tears. She feels sorry for Kaz and Daniels and gets booed out of the building. The two of them are filled with doubts and anger and various other bad things. Dixie says she’s going to tell the truth tonight, but here are Kaz and Daniels. Daniels says he knows what’s going on and Dixie had to have what she wanted. He wants to know who called who first and where the first meeting was. She tries to hit Daniels so he shoves her down, until AJ comes out and chases both guys off.

Serg, Dixie’s husband, gets in the ring and helps her up then lays out AJ with a punch. Serg leaves and AJ whispers something to Dixie and they both leave.

Crimson vs. Austin Aries

Joe continues his complaining to Aries in the back before the match. Aries attacks the legs to start, hitting the low dropkick in the corner. A slingshot corkscrew plancha hits Crimson but a Lionsault misses. Red Sky is countered into a rana to send Crimson into the corner. Brainbuster is escaped and we head to the floor where Aries hits the suicide dive. Joe makes the not shocking interference and drives Aries’ head into the apron, giving Crimson the pin at 3:28.

Rating: D+. The match was ok but the ending might as well have been written in the middle of the ring. They hit a wall with Crimson months ago as there’s no point to him winning much anymore but they’re starting to play up the streak even more. Not much here but it set up Aries vs. Joe at Slammiversary.

Crimson brags about being undefeated longer than Goldberg was and says he’ll keep that going at Slammiversary with an open challenge.

Hogan says nothing of note about Brooke.

Brooke introduces herself to the Knockouts and there’s a fourway for the title match on Sunday. Also Velvet is going to be in a music video with Montgomery Gentry.

Here’s Hulk in the arena for a chat. He talks about how this Sunday is the anniversary and it’s a big party. We’re going to keep the party going through next week’s show in the form of a world title match. Roode comes out and complains. Hogan keeps trying to talk but Roode keeps saying he’s not done yet. Roode calls Hogan jealous and grabs him by the shirt, saying get out of his ring. Cue Sting who gets beaten down, but as Roode looks at Hogan he turns around to face Sting.

Joseph Park isn’t sure how things got where they are now.

Mickie James vs. Tara vs. Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Mickie and Velvet clear the ring to start and Mickie gets a rollup for two. Gail comes out to watch and we take a break about a minute in. Gail sits in on commentary as we’re back. Brooke grabs a rollup for two on Mickie and takes her down for two. Velvet makes the save as Gail brags about her accomplishments. Tara comes in to roll up Sky for two.

Boston Crab goes on Brooke by Tara, but Mickie grabs a dragon sleeper on Tara but Brooke grabs a headlock on Mickie for a quadruple submission. Think about that and you’ll get why it’s stupid. The ring gets cleared again but Tara misses a moonsault on Mickie. Tessmacher wants Tara to hit her but the older one is reluctant. Tara takes over but as she shakes her hits Velvet takes her down. Mickie hits the top rope Thesz Press and kicks Velvet’s head off. She takes too long yelling though and Tessmacher hits her flip mat slam for the pin at 10:36.

Rating: C. These girls are WAY better than the Divas. The match ran long and I’m not liking Tessmacher’s finisher at all, but it’s better than the ton of kicks we used to have. She could be something special given her looks, but getting the title off of Gail is what matters. She’s had the thing FOREVER now and the division is starting to suffer as a result.

Bully Ray is ready for the contract signing later.

We see the opening segment again.

Hulk yells at AJ on the phone.

Time for the contract signing. Ray says his usual stuff and here’s Park. Ray rips up the contract and says that was for a standard wrestling match. He pulls out a new one that has a whole harmless clause in it, meaning no matter what he does to Park, there’s no legal recourse. Ray signs but Park starts sweating. Park won’t sign because he’s not crazy, so Ray spits on him.

That makes him snap and he talks about how Abyss has given his life for the last ten years to make this happen, so he’ll sign. Abyss pops up on screen and yells at Chris to step away from the fire before he gets burned. Chris says he was doing it to help but Abyss says he doesn’t need help. As for Ray, he left Abyss for dead, but Abyss isn’t dead. They’re both going to find out how alive he is at Slammiversary. Ray jumps Chris as he’s looking at the monitor.

Garrett wants to have D-Von’s back in the TV Title match tonight.

Joey Ryan rants about Gut Check from last week. Al Snow comes up and tells him to drop it.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

This is the FIFTH TV Title between these two. Garrett is seconding D-Von here. Madison comes out to watch this, so her guy is one of the four. Robbie jumps him to start and takes over with basic offense. D-Von spears him down and hits a clothesline and elbow to the face. A flying shoulder takes Robbie down. Rock Bottom is followed by a headbutt, but Robbie T interferes. The seconds get into it but the distraction allows Robbie T to switch a small package. He gets caught and Garrett switches it so D-Von retains at 2:50.

Post match the Rob’s get beaten to the floor.

Here’s Hulk to talk about Bobby Roode but Anderson interrupts him. After taking forever, he asks if he’s getting the title match next week. Hogan says to chill and Anderson says he wants the title match. Hogan says he wants to finish the announcement, but he calls out RVD. I think Hogan is losing his voice. Now he asks Jeff Hardy to come to the ring. Anderson says he deserves the title match and Hogan goes on a rant about how these three have been trying to get title shots. The required three way match is made for Sunday.

We run down the Slammiversary card, which only has five announced matches plus an open challenge.

Kazarian/Christopher Daniels/Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle/AJ Styles/Sting

And there’s no AJ. He and Dixie left earlier and he’s not back yet. The tag champs jump Sting and Angle to start but are immediately put in submission holds, drawing in Roode who doesn’t seem that interested in helping. Kaz and Daniels make the ropes and it’s time for a huddle on the floor. We take a break and come back with Daniels taking Sting down and posing.

Off to a chinlock and Sting is in trouble. Slingshot elbow from Daniels and a slingshot legdrop from Kaz combine for two. A spinwheel kick from Kaz gets the same and Sting can barely stand. Off to Roode who drops a knee and chokes with the boot. Roode misses a charge but Sting misses a splash and both guys are down.

Daniels comes in illegally to break up what would have been a hot tag and it’s a triple beatdown. There’s the Crossface and here’s AJ for the save. He cleans house and Angle is back in as well. Kurt suplexes Kaz to the floor and AJ beats on Daniels. Pele takes Daniels to the floor and AJ hits a BIG dive to take everyone out. Roode tries a belt shot but gets caught in the Scorpion for the tap at 10:13.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what AJ being gone added here but the match was ok. It was your standard main event tag match where a few feuds were combined, which is something that is always a good idea. Two feuds get advanced at the same time, which is all you need at times. Good stuff here but nothing great.

Sting holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off REALLY slow and it picked up a bit halfway through. Having just four matches is annoying but it’s something you’ve come to expect from TNA anymore. The PPV only has five at the moment but I’m sure a few more, like Aries vs. Joe, will be added and that’s ok for the most part. This wasn’t a bad show, but it wasn’t great either. The good outweighed the bad though, so I’ll give it a break.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – July 23, 2012: Raw Turns 1000 And Punk Snaps

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s the 1000th weekly episode of a show that airs year round which makes it the longest running show with as many catches as they can think of, as long as you don’t count shows like WCW Saturday Night or Memphis Wrestling’s Saturday morning show which ran for about 30 years airing new shows. There’s A LOT to get through tonight as we have a wedding, Lesnar, Rock, DX and other legends appearing live, and Cena vs. Punk for the world title. Let’s get to it.

We open with one of those always awesome WWE montages of past Raw moments. I’ll set the over/under of moments from 1994/1995 at about 2.

There’s a new logo for Raw tonight and for apparently one night only, there’s a different song, called Tonight is the Night.

We start the false advertising right away, with Vince opening things. The video wall is different too, with HUGE walls on the side of the Tron now. Vince thanks us for 1000 shows and brings out DX complete with a hybrid of the old and new entrances. Shawn and HHH come out to do the entrance but Shawn is having issues because he’s old and out of breath before the crotch chop.

They talk about having their DX merchandise on and asks each other if they’re wearing underwear. After assuring that they are, Shawn still thinks something is missing. HHH thinks there used to be more of them, drawing a BIG pop. Complete with military invasion vehicle, here are the Outlaws and X-Pac. They do their usual lines (complete with Road Dogg censoring himself on Billy’s nickname in a very nice bit) and HHH points out that he’s the only one left with a full head of hair.

Billy and Shawn aren’t sure who should say the final line. Billy: “He never really gave me that much but I was good at this.” Shawn says the same so HHH pulls Billy aside and says that Shawn might lose his smile and go pose for Playgirl again. Shawn: “I NEEDED THE MONEY!” They agree to do it at the same time….and here’s Damien Sandow. That’s the perfect choice too. He says this is what WWE has disintegrated to and how low society has gone: people like DX are now revered. Shawn says he’s going straight to church and asking for forgiveness….AGAIN!

Sandow understands that DX could destroy him but if they do so, he won’t be a victim. He’ll be a martyr. HHH calls for a DX huddle but Sandow tries to listen in. Sandow: “That’s very rude.” HHH: “We’re rude guys.” HHH goes to talk but it’s Sweet Chin Music and Pedigree for Sandow. Billy and Shawn get to do their line and that’s it. GREAT opening segment and absolutely hilarious.

Here’s JR with a goatee. Cole is fine with him now.

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio

The difference in pops for Cara and Sheamus is staggering. We’re joined in progress with Cara in trouble from Ziggler before it’s off to Jericho for a chinlock. Cara gets a rollup for two but Jericho knocks him right back down. We get the posing cover for two and a BIG reaction before it’s off to Del Rio. The heel team works on Cara’s back with Del Rio hooking a chinlock with a knee in the back. Cara hits a tornado DDT and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. He cleans house on Jericho, hitting a running kneelift.

Irish Curse is kind of botched but the second attempt connects for two. Everything breaks down and Rey knocks Del Rio to the floor, hitting a seated senton off the apron. Sheamus and Jericho are the only two left in the ring and White Noise is countered into a failed Walls of Jericho. Codebreaker is countered but the Brogue Kick misses. Ziggler drills Jericho (intentionally) to break up the springboard dropkick and the Brogue Kick finishes Jericho at 4:26 shown.

Rating: C+. Other than the main event, expect a lot of these matches to be short and sweet tonight, which is the right move on a show like this. Cara getting to rub elbows with guys like Mysterio and Sheamus is a great thing for him and it should do him a lot of good. This was fast paced and fun, which is the right idea.

TOUT IT OUT!

Charlie Sheen is the social media ambassador and is on Skype with us here. Sheen thinks he’d fit in with DX. That’s a perfect fit actually. He doesn’t sound like he has any idea what’s going on but he doesn’t seem bored out of his mind and that’s all I can ask for.

We recap the wedding buildup from last week.

AJ is getting ready in the back with Layla and she asks if AJ is ready. AJ says yes she is and yes she’s mentally stable. Everyone is a bit off out here and she opens the door to prove it. Jim Duggan is talking to someone and R-Truth and Roddy Piper holding a jump rope for Little Jimmy. Then, in perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on Raw, MAE YOUNG AND A FULL GROWN HAND ARE HERE!

Someone delivers Sonic to Jerry Lawler. That’s kind of awesome.

Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger

Brodus brings out DUDE FREAKING LOVE. Brodus is in a USA themed singlet tonight. Swagger misses a charge, gets suplexed, and the splash ends this in 19 seconds.

It’s time to dance, complete with a tye dyed Socko to Swagger.

HHH is in the back with Trish Stratus who I don’t think people recognize. She demonstrates Yoga to him and shows HHH how to bend over when DX comes in. They don’t know what to think but Road Dogg says they’ll wait in the rear. Pac stays around and hits on Trish but it goes nowhere.

Daniel Bryan is talking to what appear to be orderlies.

We open the second hour with the wedding. Jerry is the master of ceremonies for some reason. The reverend is SLICK! Lawler was just introducing Slick apparently. Slick looks BAD. Here’s Bryan first, to his theme music of course and in a white tux. AJ comes out as normal, minus the skipping. Slick goes into Jive Soul Bro mode and says that marriage shouldn’t be entered into lightly but AJ tells him to get to it. We get the speak now moment and half the arena starts booing. Slick: “Wooooooow. I never heard that before.”

The fans chant no but Bryan has a speech ready for AJ. Once they’re married, he’ll have everything he’s ever wanted. The ring goes on AJ’s hand and he says he does. AJ says yes before she’s asked a question. Slick is about to say they’re married but AJ says wait. She wasn’t saying yes to Daniel, but rather to someone else. Someone else proposed to her earlier tonight: VINCE MCMAHON???

Oh wait he’s just interrupting things. Scratch that as apparently he did propose to her, but it’s a business proposal: AJ is the new GM. Now that’s something I didn’t see coming. AJ hands Bryan the flowers and skips off to her music. Vince only said GM of Raw so I don’t think she’s in charge of Smackdown too. Bryan freaks out and breaks a lot of stuff.

Post break and Bryan is still freaking out, shouting NO at everyone. Cue Punk for likely a hearty laugh. He laughs about Bryan getting left at the altar and says that AJ is going to be GM. Punk: “You can continue to throw a tantrum. I’m going to continue to be WWE Champion.” Bryan says Punk isn’t even the best in the ring tonight and says that Bryan is the best of all time.

Cue The Rock for a rebuttal. After a lengthy intro, Rock says Bryan doesn’t get to say who the best of all time is. The fans get to say that, and guess who they chant for. Rock does the FINALLY bit but Bryan cuts him off because he can say anything else. He doesn’t know who Rock thinks he is but Rock cuts him off as well. Rock says he won his first WWE Championship here, but he’s not here to talk to Frodo right now.

Instead he wants to talk to Punk, because at the Royal Rumble, he’s got the world title shot. That gets almost no reaction for some reason. Punk says that’ll be him because he’ll defeat Cena tonight. Tonight he’ll end Cena and he’ll beat Rock at the Rumble. Bryan says no because it’s supposed to be about him and it’s supposed to be the best night of his life.

Bryan, with his eyes bugging out, says that he’ll fight Rock at the Rumble. He says he’ll be the face of the WWE. Rock says we’re not looking at the face of the WWE. We’re looking at a homeless lumberjack mated with an Oompa Loompa. “Oompa Loompa dumpity ding, you look like a troll from Lord of the Rings.” Rock Bottom to Bryan and that’s that.

Here’s Bret Hart to be ring announcer for the next match. He says he won his first IC Title by beating Mr. Perfect and he’s introducing the Intercontinental Title match tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. The Miz

Bret’s boredom of introducing Miz is great. Christian immediately sends him to the floor and hits a dive to the outside but he may have hurt his knee. We take a break and come back with Miz holding a weak leg lock on Christian. During the break the champ (Christian) had his knees sent into the steps to further the injury. A top rope cross body gets two for Christian and he goes up again, hitting the jumping back elbow for no cover. Unprettier is broken up and the sunset flip out of the corner gets two.

Miz kicks him in the face for a near fall of his own and things slow down again. Christian comes back with a tornado DDT for two but his leg is still messed up. Spear is blocked and Miz gets a short DDT for a very close two. The corner clothesline misses for Miz but the Killswitch is countered again. Finale and Killswitch are countered again. Christian escapes a belly to back but hurts his leg again, allowing the Skull Crushing Finale to give Miz the title at 7:46.

Rating: C+. That’s a nice surprise for tonight as they needed to do something to give us a little history here. Also Miz gets to win something for the first time since losing the world title over a year ago. It’s even better than it was clean, which is rare to see. Good stuff here and a nice surprise.

Charlie Sheen says he’s a fan of Rock and is looking forward to the Rumble. As for Bryan, he has Anger Management issues.

Regis Philbin talks about all of the wrestling guests he’s had on his show. He looks good for 80.

Here’s HHH to talk to Lesnar. After a recap HHH calls Lesnar out but gets Heyman again. Lesnar is here tonight and Heyman has power of attorney for him. The match at Summerslam isn’t happening. HHH says he’s tired of this so he’ll go find Lesnar himself. Heyman says HHH is already facing multiple lawsuits and that might not be best for business. HHH says Lesnar is a coward so Heyman makes fun of HHH’s kids. HHH yells and Heyman backs off. Paul keeps talking about the kids and here’s Stephanie, looking great in a black dress but showing off that famous Stephanie acting ability.

She yells at Heyman for his failures and says the lawsuits are a way for him to make himself feel better. Heyman gets cut off and Steph says her dad has more guts than Lesnar. She calls Heyman a parasite and gives him an awful slap. Heyman bails but gets back in almost immediately. The match with Lesnar is on now. Heyman runs his mouth some more so Stephanie takes him down. Cue Lesnar who is actually here for once. Well he’s here but his arms seem to be missing. Lesnar takes HHH into the corner and fires in shoulders but HHH comes back. HHH clotheslines Brock to the floor and takes his hair down so you know he’s serious.

Tout it out!

After talking about WWE 13, we get a video on Vince vs. Austin, which needs to be on a show like this.

Here are Santino and Hornswoggle with WWE toys, which apparently are like old school WRESTLING BUDDIES. These talk though.

Howard Finkel is guest ring announcer for the next match. Now all is right with the world.

Heath Slater calls out any legend to a No DQ anything goes match.

Heath Slater vs. Lita

WOW. Lita still looks great too. Slater laughs this off but then accepts her challenge. The bell rings but Lita says she hired herself some protection. Cue the APA and Slater PANICS. Slater immediately runs but backs into every legend he’s fought in the last few weeks. They chase him back into the ring and the Twist of Fate sets up the Clothesline which sets up the Litasault (looked perfect) for the pin at 1:54.

Take a guess what Ron Simmons says post match.

SEAN FREAKING MOONEY is in the back with Daniel Bryan. Bryan didn’t like being called an Oompa Loompa by Sheen earlier and says he’d slap Sheen if he were here.

We talk to some guy that is the 100,000,000th social media follower. Good for him.

Fozzie Bear hosts a video on great catchphrases on Raw over the years. There’s a great bit in here where they go with Austin and Vickie saying WHAT and EXCUSE ME over and over again.

Ryder is in the back with Cena and Mean Gene. Ryder thinks Gene was behind GTV and Gene says he wasn’t working here at the time. Cena is lost when Rock comes up. Ryder and Gene leave and it’s time for the staredown. Rock wishes Cena luck and Cena says see you at the Rumble. Rock says he’s looking forward to it.

Kane vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal comes out with Hunico, Camacho, Reks, McIntyre and Hawkins. They say they’ve gotten no opportunity over the years and they’re tired of it. They surround Kane….and a gong strikes. There go the lights and here he is. His coat has spikes on the arm now. There’s no hat for some reason though. The six guys have bailed and it’s just the brothers in the ring now. Taker has a buzz cut mowhawk now. The six guys run into the ring because they’re pretty stupid. Hawkins and Hunico get stereo chokeslams and stereo tombstones.

BE A STAR! Just for clarification: We go to an anti-bullying rally preaching non-violence right after six guys were about to jump one and the solution to the one’s problem was that his big brother came out and helped him fight.

Charlie Sheen says he’ll shake Bryan so hard that the fake beard will fall off and you’ll see the word losing under the baby cheeks. Sheen challenges Bryan to a fight when he’s in LA. No mention of Summerslam is made because then it might happen. Scratch that as it’s mentioned once Sheen is gone.

We get a clip from the end of the show last week where Cena challenged Punk and says he’s cashing in tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending in case you’re reading this years later. We take a break before the bell, and it’s already 10:56. We don’t get big match intros as the bell rings immediately when they come back. There’s a quick hand slap and we’re ready to go. Punk gets taken down quickly but comes back with an abdominal stretch. Cena hiptosses out of it and it’s a stalemate. Cena fires off some right hands and takes Punk down with a headlock. Lawler says Cena is like Superman.

Punk comes back and they slug it out with Punk taking over via a kick to the face and a clothesline. The running knee in the corner hits and Punk does You Can’t See Me. Bulldog is countered into the ProtoBomb and there’s the Shuffle. Punk pops up and hits the high kick but the GTS is escaped. There goes the referee as the AA hits but there’s no one to count.

Cue Big Show who spears Cena down and he loads up the right hand. Down goes Cena and Punk isn’t sure what to do. The champ rolls the referee back in and covers Cena but it only gets two. He loads up the GTS but Cena rolls through into the STF. Big Show runs in again and hits Cena for the DQ at 11:15, making Cena the first person to cash in and not win the title.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but it’s a far cry from their previous ones. That being said it wasn’t bad or anything as these two feel like a major match whenever they get in the ring. The interference was obvious but there’s nothing wrong with that. Given the amount of time they had to work with, this was fine.

Punk turns his back and lets Cena get beaten down until Rock comes down for the save. He beats up Show and loads up the Elbow….but Punk takes Rock’s head off with a clothesline. Hokey smoke I think we just had a heel turn. There’s a GTS to Rock and the champ stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. The ending bumps this up a good bit. This was certainly an entertaining and very fun show, but it wasn’t a masterpiece. The ending was great as Punk’s demons of being overshaddowed time after time finally got the better of him and he embraces his inner evil side. That’s great storytelling and gives them a ton of possibilities down the line. Also by having him attack Rock, there’s a much better chance of him being hated down the line. Great stuff here and a great show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – June 4, 2012: Make This The AJ Show. Please?

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2012
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Cena is back tonight. That right there almost automatically makes the show better than it was last week. We have tonight and another week before No Way Out so it should be interesting to see what kind of build we get for those matches. Orton is gone so Miz has nothing to do which likely won’t be mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Big Show’s dominance over the last week.

Here’s Cole to interview Cena. Cole says that Cena was knocked out twice in 24 hours and it’s his own fault, because he tried to be a comedian instead of supporting Big Show. Cena says that Ace was a bully and he had everything ready to get rid of him and the new GM would have rehired Show. Cole says that Cena caused all this and says that Show is unbeatable. Cena says Show wanted more money and turned his back on everyone.

Now Cole thinks Cena is jealous of Big Show because Show didn’t lose at Wrestlemania, nor did he get beaten up by Lesnar for 20 minutes. Cole thinks Cena is overrated now and that Show puts us out of our misery that we’ve developed after watching Cena’s matches for the last few years. Oh and Cena can’t hit him. Cue Ace now who says that Cena gets to pick his own opponent tonight. Cena tries to pick Ace about 5 times but Ace says that he’s retired and Big Show is NOT here tonight. Cena picks someone that is uninteresting, overrated, and that JR says is being shoved down our throats every week. You know it’s Cole.

Post break Cole begs Ace for mercy but apparently the people want to see Cole get beaten up. Oh and don’t call him Johnny.

We get a clip montage to summarize the Sheamus Must Apologize story.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Cole is back on commentary. Ziggler starts fast and tries to take Sheamus down by the knees. Sheamus tries three Regal Rolls but only the third one connects, getting two. Dolph low bridges him but Sheamus pulls him to the outside. Sheamus blocks a ram into the post but Ziggler jumps over the steps that he gets whipped into. After a Vickie distraction, Dolph dropkicks him back to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler kneeing Sheamus down and working on the shoulder that hit the post during the break. Ziggler works it over a bit more and takes Sheamus down for two. Ziggler goes up and after fighting off Sheamus, hits a top rope Fameasser for two. Sheamus shrugs off the sleeper, hits White Noise and ends Ziggler with the Brogue Kick at 9:09.

Rating: C. Well that uh….happened. It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t great, plus it didn’t really solve or prove anything. Ziggler looked fine, but he’s needing to get away from Vickie I think. There’s just nothing there for him anymore and he needs to move on and do something else. Sheamus having to come from behind like this is a good thing.

As Sheamus is on the stage Del Rio jumps him and with Ricardo’s help, puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Ace asks some schmuck for his coffee when Otunga comes up and says that Vince is returning next week to evaluate him. Ace seems surprised by this, despite saying earlier that everyone was going to be evaluated.

Sin Cara vs. Hunico

Cara speeds things up to start and spins Hunico around and out to the floor. Slingshow sunset flip is escaped and Hunico kicks him in the head for one. Butterfly backbreaker gets the same. Off to the chinlock for a second and Cara escapes the spinning rack slam into an armdrag. Cara kicks him out of the corner and hits a top rope rana to take over. Handspring elbow puts Hunico down and after taking out Camacho, the spinning mat slam gets the pin at 2:30.

Cena’s favorite Raw moment is being drafted to Raw 7 years ago tomorrow.

Stan Stansky/Arthur Rosenburg vs. Ryback

It’s the same thing you’ve seen time after time. This match features more throwing people around and a clothesline to both of them at once. The double MuscleBuster/Samoan Drop gets the pin at 1:55.

CM Punk vs. Kane

There must be a winner. Cole is on the phone begging to be let out of the match. Before Kane comes out, Bryan comes out and gets on the announce table for some questions and answers. Has AJ gone completely delusional since they broke up? Will Kane destroy Punk tonight? Will Bryan win the title in three weeks? Yes Yes Yes. Kane powers him around but Punk uses the kicks to knock Kane to the floor for the suicide dive.

Punk hits the top rope double ax to the floor and we head back inside. Kane comes back with a knee to the ribs for two to take over. He pounds on Punk with sledgehammer shots and a legdrop for two. Punk breaks out of a bodyscissors and fires away with strikes but Kane throws him into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kane holding a chinlock and uppercutting Punk down. Side slam gets two. Kane goes for the top rope clothesline but Punk knees him down. Another knee sets up the bulldog for two. Springboard clothesline gets the same. GTS is broken up and Kane boots him down for two. Punk avoids the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker to slow Kane down. Punk goes up but Kane uppercuts him.

The superplex is broken up and Kane is knocked back to the mat. Macho Elbow gets two and they go to the floor. Kane rams him into the table and with the referee distracted, Bryan fires off two kicks to the ribs. Chokeslam is countered by the High Kick and here comes AJ. She tells the referee what Bryan did so Bryan yells at her. Punk uses the distraction to dive onto Bryan, but he walks into the chokeslam for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: C+. I was digging this and I was really digging AJ in a cutoff Punk shirt and shorts. The ending works I guess but I’m curious as to where the whole AJ thing is going, which I guess is the idea. Kane being added into this would let Bryan get the title, but I’m not sure where they would go after that. Decent match though.

Post match Kane stares at AJ (as well as kicking Bryan down) and AJ smiles back at him before he leaves. Ok then.

AJ tells Josh she likes when men look at her. She pulls him by his tie and demands he look at her. AJ says he might be her type.

Cole begs Ace for mercy again.

Video on Big Show and all of the comedy stuff he’s done over the years and how he’s being serious now.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

This is joined in progress with Hawkins vs. Kofi. The champs are all taped up because of last week. A jumping back elbow gets two for Kofi and it’s off to a hammerlock. Off to Truth who drops a leg on Hawkins’ arm before it’s off to Reks. Reks gets in a little offense but misses a shoulder. Off to Kofi for the Boom Drop on Hawkins but Trouble in Paradise only gets two because of Reks. Truth takes him out and the spin kick gets the pin on Hawkins at 4:02.

Rating: C-. It’s very clear that Kofi and Truth are pure filler and that’s about the best they’re going to get at this point. Then again having extra teams in there is a good thing, even if they are just Hawkins and Reks. The match wasn’t bad but with only a few minutes there’s only so muchthey can do out there.

HHH’s favorite Raw moment is him returning in 2002.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s 10:45 so this could mean a few things. Ace comes out and says that if Cena can beat this man, his match with Cole will be No DQ.

John Cena vs. Tensai

Yeah he’s not a Lord anymore. He’s also moving faster now which is good too. Cole of course cheers everything that Tensai does as the fans are mostly behind Cena. Cena comes back with a clothesline to send Tensai to the floor and Cole panics. Sakamoto gets in some kicks and Cena is down as we take a break. Back with Cena breaking out of a neck lock and hitting a middle rope bulldog for two.

Tensai takes him back down and it’s nerve hold time again. Cena gets knocked to the floor and Cole says he should just quit now. Cole slaps Cena and gets shoved down by Lawler as a result. Cena gets thrown into the steps and Cole rips into him for awhile. Back in and the butterfly suplex gets two. Backsplash misses and it’s shoulder block time. Protobomb sets up the Shiffle and Cole is very nervous. AA gets the clean pin at 9:04.

Rating: D+. Hopefully this sends Tensai back down to the midcard. The changes they’ve made to him have helped him a bit but at the end of the day he’s still Albert which means he can only be so good and so interesting. Cena beating him is the right call though because you can’t validate having him lose twice in a row to Tensai, especially not before a bit time PPV match.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s No DQ. Cole tries to run into the crowd twice but gets pulled back both times. Cena throws him into the ring and Cole says we don’t have to do it this way. He sucks up to Cena and then takes off his coat and tie, saying how he’s going to beat up Cena tonight. He pokes Cena in the chest and tells Cena to not forget his name. Cena rips the shirt open and chops him in the chest. There go Cole’s pants and Cena kicks him low.

He slaps Cole’s chest and back again before putting him in a chinlock. Cena demands an apology to Lawler about the Mania match which Cole gives immediately. Now Cole has to apologize to JR who Cole calls his idol. Cole has to admit his love for JR’s Barbecue Sauce. “It’s slobberknocker good!” Lawler just happens to have a few bottles of it with him and it gets poured over Cole.

Since it was hot, here’s a fire extinguisher to cool Cole off. There’s steam coming off Cole’s head. The AA gets loaded up but here’s Tensai with the Baldo Bomb. That gets two for Cole and he has a bit of a tantrum. Cole slaps Cena in the back of the head and yells a lot before charging with the fire extinguisher. AA counters that and gets the pin at roughly 11 minutes. I’m not rating this for obvious reasons but it did its job well enough.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s still not great but this was WAY better than last week’s show. Having less Big Show on this helped a lot and Cena being here at all certainly brought this one up a lot. The guy is just flat out entertaining and interesting which is more than most people on this roster can say. This helped me a lot with the build to No Way Out, and even with the iffy ending, I liked this about 200% more than last week’s show.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Hunico – Spinning Mat Slam
Ryback b. Arthur Rosenburg/Stan Stansky – Double MuscleBuster
Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Trouble in Paradise to Hawkins
John Cena b. Tensai – Attitude Adjustment
John Cena b. Michael Cole – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – June 1, 2012: Another Stake In The Brand Split

Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Tonight we have a Raw World Title match on Smackdown for the first time in a few years as Punk defends against Kane. I’d assume that Bryan has gotten the title match for No Way Out but it’s hard to tell with this company anymore. Other than that we’ll probably have some more stuff with Big Show as he continues to take over the stories everywhere. It’ll also be interesting to see how they work around the Orton suspension. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the title match tonight. It looks more like a TV commercial than a normal opening video.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the weather tomorrow for my neighborhood yard sale.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show and we get a clip of him kicking Del Rio’s head off to end the show last week. Sheamus talks about how Del Rio has been waited on hand and foot for years, but it’s not going to matter at No Way Out because he can’t buy the World Heavyweight Championship. Cue Otunga who again demands that Sheamus apologize for running over Ace. Sheamus says this isn’t Starbucks where you order someone around. If Ace wants an apology, he can come out here and get it himself. Otunga: “You may be the whitest bulb, but you’re not the brightest.”

Cue Del Rio who calls Sheamus a peasant and a street hooligan. People like Sheamus wind up working for people like Del Rio and Otunga. Otunga thinks Sheamus should be in a match tonight, with the opponent being chosen by Del Rio. The champ kicks Otunga’s head off and Del Rio runs. Sheamus says never trust a hooligan.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

No trampoline and he’s in red and white not instead of blue and gold. The lighting is back too. Slater grabs the arm to start but Cara grabs the arm and hits his spinning wrist drag. Out to the floor for a BIG dive but Slater jumps him coming back in. Off to a chinlock but Cara fights out and hits some kicks to the leg. A jumping back elbow puts Slater down as does an enziguri from the apron. The La Mistica mat slam gets the pin at 2:24. I didn’t see any botches here and Cara looked pretty good.

Damien Sandow vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Sandow’s Titantron graphic has a theme of a curtain being pulled back like at a theater. Sandow says he won’t be in this match and goes to leave but Jackson pulls him back in to get us going. The Torture Rack is countered and Sandow goes psycho. Russian legsweep puts Jackson down and the neckbreaker ends it at 1:36. Sandow gets in the Thinking Man position during his cover. I’m liking the 2012 Genius a bit more.

Del Rio and Ricardo are in the back when Ziggler comes in and asks to be put in the match tonight. Del Rio says okey dokey.

Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons vs. Ryback

The jobbers are from Alabama so the Louisiana fans HATE them, due to them saying Roll Tide. It’s the exact same match as last week with the double MuscleBuster getting the pin at 2:02.

Raw ReBound chronicles Show’s destruction. Apparently Brodus has a concussion and bruised ribs.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Non-title. Ziggler cuts off Vickie’s intro and says tonight he beats the champion. He’s serious tonight. If the reaction is to be believed, Sheamus is getting verypopular. Ziggler tries a headlock to start but gets run over very quickly. He dropkicks the champ down and hooks an armbar which gets him nowhere at all. Ziggler punches Sheamus in the corner but gets sent to the apron. Top rope cross body is caught in a Regal Roll for two.

Sheamus launches him over the top and to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus breaking a top wristlock. Dolph runs to the apron and has to grab the ring skirt to keep from getting a worse beating. He suckers Sheamus in and guillotines him on the top rope. Sheamus gets dropkicked off the apron and onto the floor for awhile. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring.

Off to the chinlock and Ziggler does the handstand. Booker: “That’s just showing off.” Now he’s getting it. Sheamus starts to fight up but gets caught in a DDT for two. Ziggler hooks an ugly sleeper but Sheamus dumps him onto the apron for the ten forearms. Irish Curse is countered twice so Sheamus uses a regular backbreaker (which Cole calls the Irish Curse anyway). He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets crotche. A top rope X Factor gets a close two and a good reaction from the crowd on the kickout. Zig Zag is countered and it’s White Noise, failed Swagger interference and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06 shown of 13:36.

Rating: C+. These two always have good chemistry together and they did again here. The ending is good too as it furthers the Ziggler split from Vickie and company, but it also keeps Sheamus looking just as strong because he had Ziggler beaten without the interference going wrong. Little things like that can make a match so much better.

Punk says he’ll beat up anyone that Ace throws at him, including Kane. Kane is going to sleep tonight.

Darren Young/Titus O’Neil vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

An inset promo says that O’Neil and Young want to be known as the Prime Time Players. Young and Santino get us going but it’s quickly off to Titus. Ryder comesin to break up a double team which gets him run over by Young. Then Santino gets a rollup out of nowhere on Young for the pin at 1:13. What in the world was the point of that? They spent the pre-match stuff and the match talking about how awesome Young and O’Neil were and then the ending comes from out of nowhere. Marella and Ryder had no offense at all other than the rollup. Literally, none.

Post match here’s Big Show to destroy everything. Make that just Ryder and Santino as Young and Titus escaped. Ryder tries to fight back but it gets him nowhere. The beating goes on for awhile. Show is in the same kind of stuff he was wearing before his turn. Santino gets put in a camel clutch on the steps on the stage before getting punched in the back of the head and knocked out. So in four days he’s been punched out and made to tap out in 45 seconds. Another champion is made to look like a joke.

We see Punk in the back but it’s actually AJ in a Punk shirt. Bryan pops up and asks why AJ thinks Punk cares about her. He pretends to care about her again and you can see her knees get weak. Bryan is only joking though.

Cody Rhodes vs. Tyson Kidd

Christian is on commentary and Kidd has full tights now. Kidd gets in a quick legsweep but Cody is too fired up for Kidd to be able to do much. Tyson keeps fighting and tries the Dungeon Lock but Cody shrugs it off and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:20.

Cody and Christian stare at each other a lot post match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Kane

They have a lot of time here. The announcers talk about how Kane hasn’t been champion in 14 years. Cole thankfully points out the mistake and reminds Booker of the Smackdown World Title that Kane won like a year and a half ago. Out to the floor and Punk drops a double ax off the top onto Kane to take over. Back in and the uppercut drops Punk, but he dropkicks Kane’s knee out to send him into the middle buckle.

Punk wraps Kane’s arm around the post and drops some elbows onto it as well. He works on it some more and hooks on a top wristlock. Kane throws him off and sends him tot he floor as we take a break. Back with Punk in control but quickly getting knocked to the floor. Here’s AJ to check on the champion. Back in and Kane slams Punk and drops an elbow for two. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT but Punk can’t follow up.

Punk hits two knees in the corner but still can’t hit the bulldog. High Kick misses but the spinning neckbreaker gets two. Kane tries to slam him but Punk slips out and hits the High Kick for two. Punk tries the GTS but Kane falls on top of him. Low dropkick gets two. Top rope clothesline is countered by a dropkick and now it’s Punk going up.

AJ gets on the apron to try to get his attention. She’s pointing at Bryan who is coming to jump Punk. The champ dives on Bryan on the floor but that’s not a DQ. Punk kicks Kane from the apron and drops the Macho Elbow for two. Cole: “The championship almost left Punk there.” Punk goes up and jumps into the uppercut. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Bryan comes in and dropkicks both guys for the DQ at 12:00 shown of 15:30.

Rating: C+. For a TV main event this was fine. It’s pretty clear where they’re going for No Way Out so the ending here was fine. It sets up the likely triple threat title match at the PPV which needed to be done one way or another. They were going back and forth pretty well here and the arm work made sense from Punk. Pretty good little match here.

Bryan DESTROYS Punk with kicks but both guys get chokeslammed. Ace and Eve come out to make the triple threat match.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show for the most part. Nothing was really bad on it and they had something big in the main event, which is what Smackdown needs. It’s basically a supplement to Raw anymore so throwing a big match into the main event is the right idea. The show wasn’t great but with nothing bad and a main event that had something on the line, this was about as good as Smackdown is going to get at this point.

Results
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Spinning Mat Slam
Damien Sandow b. Ezekiel Jackson – Neckbreaker
Ryback b. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons – Double MuscleBuster
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil – Rollup to Young
Cody Rhodes b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk vs. Kane went to a no contest when Daniel Bryan interfered

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – May 31, 2012: It’s Live And That’s About It

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 31, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a big night tonight as not only are we moving up to 8pm, but it’s also a live show. We’re opening with Roode vs. Sting because this is all about hot new acts like Sting. Other than that I don’t think there’s anything scheduled other than the Gut Check Challenge and the debut of Brooke Hogan. Oh joy. Let’s get to it.

We open with the lumberjacks at ringside and the champ is on first, along with Who.

Sting vs. Bobby Roode

This is non-title. Sting takes him down almost immediately and Roode is staggered. The champ pokes him in the eye but since this is Sting, it has no effect. Roode gets sent to the corner and kicked to the floor as the fans are into this for the most part. Sting kicks him back to the floor and again he gets thrown back in. The Splash misses and Sting is knocked to the floor where the heels get in some weak shots.

Back in and Sting comes back with a backdrop so Roode rolls back to the floor. Roode suckers him to the floor where the heels get in a better beatdown and the melee is about to begin. It doesn’t quite start yet as Roode is in control, taking Sting to the mat and dropping a knee for two. Another Stinger Splash is countered by a boot to the face. Roode sends him to the floor and Sting beats up some lumberjacks as we take a break.

Back with Roode in control and sending Sting to the floor again. Roode chops in the corner which fires Sting up as it has for 24 years. Stinger Splash hits and Roode bails to the floor. It looks to be a big brawl but Sting dives over the top and takes out most of the champ’s supporters. Back in the ring the Scorpion is countered into the Crossface but Sting is too close to the ropes. Fisherman’s Suplex is countered into the Death Drop and the Deathlock in the middle of the ring. Roode taps and Sting wins at 13:40. Apparently this was non-title like I thought.

Rating: C-. So uh….why in the world wouldn’t Hogan have made that a title match? He has every authority to, but for some reason he just didn’t. This gives Roode an opponent for the PPV I guess, and it’s Sting? Not Hardy, Angle or some group of people? I mean, didn’t we get Sting vs. Roode for the title like three months ago? Didn’t Roode beat him? Of course he did, so let’s do it again at the ten year anniversary show.

Hogan comes out post match and makes Sting vs. Roode for the title at Slammiversary.

Madison is straightening her sash in the back because she wants to look good for the guy that likes her. Oh and Brooke is going to be here later.

Here’s Bully Ray in the ring and he wants Joseph Park, who is in the crowd with a soda (label torn off) and popcorn. We get a clip from last week and Ray wants to fight Park right now in the ring. Park comes to the ring and stops. Ray calls all of Park’s family cowards, including Abyss, which draws Park over the railing. After Ray tells security to let him in, here’s Joseph to the ring.

Park kind of Hulks Up but backs off. He’s about to leave and Ray says he’s guilty of taking out Abyss. You know, the guy that popped up a few weeks ago and was fine. Park grabs Ray by the throat but Ray says he’ll sue. Park lets him go and says he’s better than this. Ray leaves and Park challenges him to a fight right now. Ray says at Slammiversary.

Video on Crimson’s undefeated streak. Crimson says he can’t be beaten.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries

Aries is getting ready in the back when Joe comes up. Aries doesn’t see Joe and nothing is said, so I’m assuming that’ll be a major plot point later. Sabin is in trunks again. Aries takes him down with an armdrag but misses a seated dropkick. Sabin goes to the apron but Aries counters the sunset flip into the previously failed seated dropkick, getting two. A slingshot hilo and an elbow drop gets two.

La Majistral gets two for Sabin as he takes over. Aries sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive. That gets him nowhere other than in the Tree of Woe, but the hesitation dropkick misses. Missile dropkick by Aries puts Sabin in the corner but his dropkick misses and Sabin baseball slides him to the floor. A springboard dive takes the champ out and Sabin hits a slingshot suplex into a neckbreaker for two. Cradle Shock and Brsinbuster are countered. Cradle Shock is countered again into a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: B-. Man they packed a lot into under four minutes. Sabin as a singles guy is something that could work very easily and using Aries for something like this every once in awhile is fine. That being said, they need to make him a full time non-X guy soon, while the chance is still there. Match was pretty good though.

We see Hogan and Tazz from earlier, and apparently Tazz is replacing Flair in Gut Check.

The Gut Check guys look over Joey Ryan’s match from last week. It’s kind of interesting to see Tazz be all humble here when he’s the biggest star of these three. They talk about how Ryan looks different but Tazz questions how seriously he took his opportunity. Pritchard says he wasn’t blown away. This is in the back and yesterday by the way.

The four possible challengers for D-Von (RVD, Anderson, Hardy and Robbie E) are in the back. The fans get to vote for who they want to see get the show.

Here’s Dixie Carter. She says that at Slammiversary, we’ll announce the first ever TNA Hall of Fame inductee. She talks about the Knockouts needing a new leader and here’s Brooke in a little black dress. Brooke says thanks and that’s it. No mention of the AJ thing at all.

We go to Kaz and Daniels in the back who criticize Dixie’s speech, saying there was nothing about the real issue with AJ in there at all.

Moment #5 is Christian debuting.

TV Title; D-Von vs. ???

To the shock of no one with a total of 4 brain cells or more, it’s Jeff Hardy. D-Von gets some quick rollups for two and it’s a standoff. Jeff shrugs off D-Von’s offense and hits a clothesline in the corner. A charge misses in the corner and D-Von neckbreakers him down for two. Off to a nerve hold which Jeff easily breaks. Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton and here are the Robs for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much here as it was pretty clear they were just filling time. Jeff’s star has fallen pretty far that he’s just in the TV Title picture, although I don’t think this is going to be a long term thing. That being said, Robbie vs. D-Von is more played than a slot machine in Vegas. The match wasn’t bad or anything, but dang I do not want to see either Rob vs. D-Von ever again.

We go to James Storm’s farm where he talks about being from a small town and how he wouldn’t want it any other way. He likes hanging out with his daughter. He’s made a decision about coming back or not but cuts the camera off before he says it.

We recap the way too long Daniels/Kaz/AJ saga.

Now it’s time for Gut Check. The judges are Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow and Taz. Here’s Joey Ryan in gear for some reason. Ryan says the judges should be honored to be in the ring with him and that he’s trending on Twitter. Pritchard says no, Snow says yes, and Ryan gets to cut a promo before Tazz’s vote. The fans are chanting for him and Ryan says to listen to the fans. Tazz says that if that’s the best Ryan can do, he’s out of his mind. He gets in Ryan’s face and yells at him, saying no. Tazz says go out and prove yourself then come back. Right now it’s no though.

We get a clip of Roode in London and cutting a promo in front of Big Ben. Not much to say here.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

AJ is all ticked off here and rants a lot in between each move he hits. The dropkick puts Daniels down but he gets in a right hand to take over. AJ goes to the apron but Daniels’ suplex attempt back in is countered. He guillotines Styles and sends him into the barricade to put Styles in trouble. We take a break and come back with Daniels hitting a springboard moonsault for two.

AJ avoids a charge and takes Daniels down with some elbows. Flying forearm hits and both guys are down. Scratch that as AJ nips up and hits the moonsault into the DDT minus the DDT as Daniels counters. Daniels goes to the apron and gets Pele’d back inside. Kaz comes out and gets drilled, allowing AJ to hit the moonsault into the DDT for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C. These two know each other so well that they could have a match in their sleep, which is more or less what they did here. Nothing special to it or anything and Kaz didn’t add much. I do however like the match ending with something other than a finisher, which is a lost art in wrestling. Decent match and nothing more.

Post match AJ gets double teamed until Angle makes the save. He puts Kaz in the ankle lock but Daniels comes back to take him down. Angle gets tied to the ropes and AJ gets drilled with a title belt. Daniels tells the fans that they’re welcome, and now we’re going to get to see more proof of AJ and Dixie. He says they have proof from the mouths of the two of them. It’s a phone call of them talking with Dixie talking about AJ coming somewhere and him wanting to find out when her husband will be there. Nothing specifically is said but Dixie runs out and says cut it off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If this is supposed to get me fired up about the rest of the summer, it didn’t do a very good job. The show was just ok at best with nothing of note really happening. Sting vs. Roode doesn’t blow my skirt up at all and for what is supposed to be a major PPV, that doesn’t do much. Brooke came off as completely unwanted, which means we’ll see her every week. Four matches, two of which combined to run about 8 minutes, didn’t help either. It wasn’t horrible, but for what was supposed to be a big deal, this fell very flat.

Results
Sting b. Bobby Roode – Scorpion Deathlock
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Rollup
D-Von vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest when Robbie E and Robbie T interfered
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Reverse DDT

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




NXT – May 30, 2012: Superstars II

NXT
Date: May 30, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

Back to what has officially become the most boring show this side of Warriors of Wrestling. We’re hopefully wrapping this season up but getting there is really dragging, as there were zero stories last week as well as no promos at all. That’s a shame as the show was starting to get good up until that point. Let’s get to it.

To give you an idea of how much WWE.com cares about this show, their website says it’s up every Wednesday at 4pm EST. It’s currently 8:05pm EST and I have to watch this on Youtube because neither today’s show, nor last week’s show are currently on WWE.com’s NXT page.

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks vs. Usos

It’s 8:19 and the show can now be found on WWE.com, if you look in the What’s Hot section instead of the NXT section. If I’m a TV company, I’d be curious as to why I should put a show on that they don’t even bother to put up on time. Anyway Jey and Reks get us going. Not much going on so far so Jey shouts to the crowd a little bit. Hawkins comes in and nothing goes anywhere now either. A quick chin/headlock by Jey goes nowhere so we head to the mat.

Off to Jimmy who armdrags Hawkins down and it’s back to Jey. A headbutt to the chest gets one and the Usos tag again. Regal explains what cutting the ring in half means, because a term like that needs an explanation apparently. Jey escapes a slam and hits a great superkick to put Hawkins down. Reks pulls Curt to the floor to avoid the Superfly Splash so the Usos dive onto both heels as we take a break.

Back with Jey holding a hammerlock on Hawkins on the mat. Jey loads up a superkick but Hawkins drops to the floor and suckers Jey in. Blind tag brings in Reks and the Usos lose control for the first time. Hawkins comes in with a kick to the back and a chinlock. Back to Reks who puts on something like a Tazmission.

Jey escapes and it’s off to Jimmy on a not very hot tag. A Bubba Bomb puts Reks down and the Umaga hip smash gets two. Hawkins interferes, allowing Reks to hit a Downward Spiral for two. Jey comes in with a Samoan Drop for two. Jimmy is sent to the floor and Reks/Hawkins hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo to pin Jey at 10:59.

Rating: C. The match was pretty boring until the ending where things picked up in a hurry. That being said, we’ve seen these two teams fight more times than I can remember, which makes this a little less interesting. Also having no story to it hurts things, but the match was perfectly fine. More Usos please.

Tamina Snuka vs. Kaitlyn

Maxine is on commentary, which is literally the first continued story in two weeks. She’s fought them both before and this is due to last week’s Kaitlyn vs. Maxine match apparently. Kaitlyn takes her to the mat and hooks a bodyscissors and a rollup for two. Tamina takes her down as well and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. Maxine makes fun of Kaitlyn’s hair and Tamina changes to a chinlock. The crowd is surprisingly not completely dead here. Kaitlyn fights out and hits a bad cross body for two. Kaitlyn trips her up as they run the ropes and hooks a full nelson with her legs to make Tamina tap (with her foot) at 5:21.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull, but I’m digging this dueling submission story they’ve got going with Maxine and Kaitlyn. Also it’s amazing how far less unbearable the Divas are when they get some time to work out a match instead of hitting like three kicks, a missed charge and the finisher with a signature move thrown in. Imagine that: wrestling makes things better.

Raw ReBound is about Big Show, which is all that Monday’s show was about anyway.

Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis/JTG

Hey Justin is back. JTG still has the new attire and I still don’t want to see him ever again. Watson and JTG get us going Watson works on the arm but JTG speeds things up a bit. That’s cool with Watson as he runs over JTG and slams him down for two. Off to Justin who hooks an armdrag into an armbar. JTG gets him into the corner and it’s off to Curtis who takes over.

Gabriel channels his inner Steamboat and armdrags his way to freedom, taking Curtis to the mat. Off to Bateman who dropkicks Johnny down for two. He misses a charge though and McGillicutty stomps Bateman down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the faces stand tall as we take a break. Back with Michael putting Bateman in a chinlock and punching him in the face a few times.

Dropkick gets two on Bateman. Back to Curtis who has #letsgetweird on his trunks. If you really want to push Twitter that hard, you would think they could find a better billboard than Curtis. McGillicutty and Curtis tag two more times as I guess they won’t like JTG either. Curtis gives up the tag and it’s off to Watson. Watson cleans house but JTG low bridges him to send Percy crashing to the floor.

JTG pounds on Percy both in and out of the ring, getting two in the former. Off to the chinlock again and then back to Curtis. Elbow to the face gets two. Watson hits a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the tag to Justin. JTG comes in at the same time and things speed up. Gabriel hits a blue Thunder Bomb for two and everything breaks down. Bateman dives on McGillicutty and Curtis while Gabriel hits a jumping tornado DDT for the pin at 12:13.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good but it came and went. You had three good guys, you had three bad guys, you had twelve minutes, and the good guys won. It was pretty entertaining though and that’s really all you can ask for on NXT in this weird kind of limbo period they’re in at the moment.

Overall Rating: C+. Like I said in the main event, you really can’t ask for more than about 45 minutes of entertaining matches from Superstars II anymore. Regal’s position as matchmaker is never mentioned anymore, the attacks in the back are never mentioned anymore, and the Hawkins/Reks being security is never mentioned anymore. I know I’m in the small minority here, but I kind of wanted to see where those things were going. I’ve spent a year on this already and I’d like to see some resolution to those stories. This was entertaining at least though.

Results
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. The Usos – Powerslam/Neckbreaker combination to Jey Uso
Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka – Full Nelson with Legs
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson b. JTG/Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty – Tornado DDT to JTG

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews