Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the go home show for Lockdown and again there aren’t any spoilers for the show tonight. The main idea here will probably be the announcing of the teams for Lethal Lockdown, or the Garrett Bischoff Showcase, whichever you prefer to call it. Other than that we’ll likely get a face to face showdown between Roode and Storm. Let’s get to it.

Tonight is the ODB/Eric Young wedding.

Here’s Eric Bischoff to open the show. I’m still not sure how the stipulation of him never being able to use his own name again works, or why most fans would care about that but it’s something else I guess. He starts talking about Lethal Lockdown and the fans chant that they don’t care. He brings out his team: Bully Ray, Gunner, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels and….there’s no fifth man.

Ray wants to know if the fans know who Eric is. The fans again say that they don’t care. Ray is proud to go to war for Eric, but Eric has made one mistake. That mistake is Garrett. Eric says that tonight there’s a best of three series to determine who has the advantage. Gunner is ready for whomever Garrett’s team brings to the table. Speaking of Garrett here he is. The fans cheer for him so there’s validation for him to be on the show I guess.

He has his own team, comprised of Anderson….and I guess we have to wait for the rest of the best of three series to find out the rest.

Mr. Anderson vs. Gunner

We join the match in progress after a break with Anderson ramming Gunner’s head into the buckle. Anderson misses a charge into the corner and Gunner takes over as they head outside. Gunner tries to ram Anderson into the post but gets sent himself. He goes into the barricade face first a few times as well and they head back inside. Anderson drops him with a clothesline and a few elbows but Gunner comes right back. He’s so intense you know. Gunner grabs a rollup with tights for two. They slug it out and Gunner is sent into the post twice. Anderson chokes him into the corner and won’t let up on it, drawing the DQ at 4:47.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad as Anderson was showing some fire for the first time in a very long time. He’s not interesting for the most part though and that really hurts him. Anderson is just kind of there for the most part and the same is true for Gunner. Neither guy does anything of note in the ring and it makes most of their matches boring. This was a bit different but not by much.

Young is in a poweder blue tux and glasses when Joseph Park shows up. Park asks Eric about a pre-nup which Eric thinks is a dog. Joseph asks Eric to think and the last thing he remembers is that Abyss was involved with Immortal. Joseph leaves Young a business card in case he needs anything. I like the Park character and it’s nice to see him FINALLY get somewhere with this.

Here are the Guns with no entrance and a title match on Sunday. They talk about how great they are and how Joe/Magnus haven’t teamed together long at all. Here are the champions for the semi-traditional tag team face to face talk. Magnus says he respects them (also traditional) but it’s not about who the best team ever is. It’s about who the best team today is, and the Guns are looking at it. A challenge is laid down to fight right now and the Guns are ready but here’s Mexican America to stop it. Anarquia says they should be in on this and both teams promptly destroy them.

Christopher Daniels vs. Austin Aries

Match #2 in the series for Lethal Lockdown advantage. Well at least it’s not AJ. Aries controls with a headlock to start but Daniels gets one of his own. They feel each other out a bit and Aries is moving better than Daniels here. The crowd has been hot all night too. Daniels charges into an elbow but Aries gets crotched as he goes up. Daniels tries a dive on the floor but Aries slides in and hits that sweet suicide dive of his.

Back in Aries takes him down and hits a handspring elbow drop for two. Sunset flip out of the corner gets the same. They trade some reversals and Aries tries to use tights but gets caught. Release Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME but Aries moves. He heads up and hits a missile dropkick followed by a running dropkick in the corner. The Brainbuster gets the clean pin at 5:32.

Rating: B. I’m not a fan of Daniels about 80% of the time, but this was a really fun match. Having Daniels getting away from AJ almost always proves to make him much more enjoyable, probably because it’s ANYTHING but him vs. AJ, but this was good stuff. Aries was flying out there and having him get the clean pin was a nice plus as he needs to get some wins over the bigger names on the show.

Here’s Hardy to cut a promo as they’re assembling the cage for the wedding. He talks about how Angle cost him the world title and on Sunday it all ends in a steel cage. They’re going to hurt each other….and that’s it. He only talked for about 40 seconds.

We get a promo from last Thursday where Storm rants about Roode disrespecting Montgomery Gentry.

Young is still giving himself a pep talk when Rosita and Sarita come in and hit on him. They want the titles back and imply that once the ring goes on his finger his life ends. They both flash him and Young turns them down.

It’s time for the wedding. Let’s get this over with. Eric comes out and is nervous. Here Comes The Bride plays and there’s no ODB. Oh ok she comes out to her theme music. So Cal Val locks them in the cage and Eric looks nervous. Young’s middle name is Cornelius. The minister isn’t thrilled with how strange this is. He says that the cage is symbolic of the strength and commitment needed for a marriage.

There’s a video of their history together which is set to a bad love song which sounds like something off an SNL parody. A lot of Bronco Busters are included. Eric seems quite proud after the video. The fans chant for ODB who looks nervous. They both have their own vows. Eric’s say he be with her no matter what she does and he’ll allow her to rub his feet whenever she wants because he knows she’s into that. She promises to not take his last name but she will take his ring music. She’ll also slap him when necessary because he’s into that. Apparently Eric gets sex whenever he wants.

The minister asks if there’s an objection and cue….Mexican America. Oh wait just the chicks. Didn’t they get repossessed or something? Sarita talks about flashing Eric in the back and says he can have the best Knockout tag champions ever. Rosita takes off her robe and dances in lingerie. He seems interested and ODB is crying. Sarita does the same sort of dance and ODB says she doesn’t have what they have. She does however have this, and she strips her dress off to reveal lingerie and a small flask of her own.

Eric turns to ODB and says he knows the missing ingredient now. He strips down to his underwear as usual but leaves the cummerbund on. They make the minister strip too. Eric says yes, ODB says yes, and ODB kisses him to the mat. This got nearly 14 minutes, or longer than almost two of the first match and the second match combined.

Flair gives Ray a pep talk.

Roode says he has no problem with the match vs. Storm being personal.

Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

The respective winning team gets the advantage in Lethal Lockdown on Sunday. Feeling out process to start before AJ speeds things up. Everyone is on the floor to watch this one including Flair. Ray sends him to the apron and a big boot puts AJ on the floor. Ray misses a splash and AJ speeds things up, hitting a clothesline and another in the corner.

Tornado DDT is countered and Ray hits a great Samoan Drop for two. Ray goes up but AJ nips up and hits a rana for two. Styles goes to the ropes but Kaz trips him, starting the big brawl. In the ring AJ hits the Pele for a delayed two. AJ gets distracted and Ray gets his chain. AJ tries the springboard forearm but jumps into the chain for the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C. Pretty fun match here as you would expect from both of these guys. I’ve heard rumors that Ray might be getting a world title reign this year and while I would initially think it’s company suicide, it’s no stupider than Garrett’s push. This was a pretty decent match for the most part with AJ doing his usual high flying and Ray being a decent power brawler. Good stuff.

And here’s Hulk to say that now it’s 5 on 5 and Bischoff has three minutes (commercial) to get his last guy.

Back and Flair wants to be the 5th guy but Eric says no. Eric thinks that Hulk is going to be the other team’s fifth guy so Eric wants to be in there so he can stand over Hulk. Hogan says he won’t he (as in Hogan) won’t be in the match but the fifth man will be…..Rob Van Dam. So to recap, we have a two time world champion, a former world champion, the hottest commodity in the company, and the most decorated man in the history of the company all as foot soldiers for GARRETT BISCHOFF. Also, could this match be any more one sided? Eric’s biggest name is who, Ray? But hey, it makes Garrett look good right?

Video on Roode vs. Storm, narrated by Roode. As usual, this was awesome.

We run down the card for Lockdown. I completely forgot about Morgan vs. Crimson.

Madison Rayne/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Velvet doesn’t do the pigeons thing and Taz is furious. Madison and Mickie start things off. Mickie tries to escape a wristlock so Maidson kicks her in the face. Off to Gail who walks into a flapjack. Velvet comes in and Gail runs over to tag. Sky isn’t in long and it’s back to Mickie who plays pretty face in peril. Mickie avoids a charge in the corner and it’s hot tag to Velvet. Madison makes the save off a bulldog so Velvet DDTs her. Gail tries to leave but Mickie throws her back in. In Yo Face is broken up but so it Eat Defeat. In Yo Face gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C-. Not a good match or anything but this was exactly what it needed to be. Velvet gets the pin on Gail to set up their match on Sunday and Mickie and Madison are there to keep the match from happening early. Now why is that such a complex idea for most other matches to get?

Time for the showdown with Storm and Roode. Storm talks first, talking about how they’ve been down the road together and gone to Japan as Beer Money, all while talking about how cool it would be to be world champion one day, then laughing because it wouldn’t happen. Roode says he isn’t going to pretend Beer Money didn’t exist, because it was a proud moment in his life.

However there’s another moment that Roode wants to talk about, and that’s when they both entered the BFG Series. They wrestled in the semi-finals and Roode wound up winning the tournament where he lost in the main event of Bound For Glory while Storm didn’t have a match. This is all accompanied by clips of what they’re talking about which helps a lot. Storm says he remembers that, and then the next week he beat the guy that beat Roode in record time.

Roode remembers two weeks later where he beat Storm for the world title. That was also the night he turned heel. Storm says that was the night that Beer Money’s legacy was destroyed. Roode says there was no legacy because they never were friends. They hated each other and only had success because of that hatred. Storm goes off on Roode for selling out and says his superkick foot is getting antsy.

Storm says this is leading to Nashville but Roode says that this isn’t about Nashville or Storm’s redneck wife and kids. Storm takes off the jacket and Roode says this is getting personal. He talks about Storm’s dead brothers and dead father and they go nose to nose…and we’re out of time as they’re still yelling. Solid segment but they threw a lot at us at once.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was pretty good, but as usual with TNA, if you don’t like the main angle they’ve got going on, you don’t have much of a reason to watch the show. When you look at this show, you get about five segments on Lethal Lockdown, one long one on the title match, a decent one on the tag titles, a match about the Knockouts, and that’s about it.

Angle vs. Hardy got 40 seconds and Crimson vs. Morgan was mentioned in the PPV preview and that’s it. There’s a TV Title match which wasn’t mentioned, but I didn’t expect it to be. In short, as always the problem is too much Bischoff. Lockdown should be good though, so that’s a good sign. Hopefully they don’t screw this up like they do everything else.

Results
Gunner b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Anderson wouldn’t stop choking Gunner
Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Brainbuster
Bully Ray b. AJ Styles – Ray pinned Styles after hitting him with a chain
Velvet Sky/Mickie James b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Kim

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NXT
Date: April 11, 2012
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

It’s that time of the week again. After last week’s disappointing ending to the Who Stole Striker story, it’s time for more Regal vs. Hawkins/Reks, because that hasn’t been done to death yet around here. We’ll also see Maxine trying to get her hooks into Regal, which is probably an idea they came up with in FCW and are using here. Let’s get to it.

Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis

Maxine comes out with Curtis and Watson isn’t pleased. He thought they weren’t together anymore but Regal cuts off his complaints and tells Maxine to stay away from the ring. Maxine sits next to Regal and he can’t speak as well all of a sudden. Watson speeds things up after a slow start with a one footed dropkick where he lands on his feet. That was pretty cool. They fight over a top wristlock and Watson takes over with an atomic drop and a legdrop for two.

Maxine is whispering into Regal’s ear as Curtis takes over with right hands. He sends Percy’s shoulder into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break. Regal is now off commentary and talking to Maxine. Curtis controls with a wristlock but Watson comes back and rams some shoulders into Curtis’ ribs. Regal is frustrated that he isn’t focused on his job as Curtis hits a cool move by dropping a leg on the arm of a standing Watson for two.

Back to the arm hold and Watson can’t break out of it. Elbow to the arm gets two. Josh doesn’t seem to get what’s wrong with Regal. Regal tries to focus and talks about Curtis a bit but still isn’t all there. I’d assume this is connected to whatever the list of stuff Regal is into that Maxine and Curtis were supposed to get their hands on last week or the week before. Watson starts his comeback with his usual strikes and the dropkicks as Regal leaves with Maxine. Belly to belly puts Curtis down and Watson is distracted by Regal leaving, allowing Curtis to roll him up for the pin at 8:13.

Rating: C-. This was ok but Curtis is just such an uninteresting character, as is Watson. Watson’s character basically is that he’s an athlete while Curtis is weird. The weird part is fine when he’s talking, but in the ring it doesn’t really do anything at all. The match was more about Regal and Maxine, which is ok because it gives us some intrigue. He looked distracted when they left so something is up.

Hawkins and Reks talk to Maxine in the back who is minus Regal now. She talks to them and asks if they did that thing. Reks isn’t sure what they she means but apparently Regal is going to be talking to them soon. She doesn’t get Striker back until they know she didn’t screw them over. Why does she want Striker back? They leave and Maxine pretends to cry when Bateman and Kaitlyn pop up. Maxine cries on Bateman’s shoulder and asks for help with Reks/Hawkins. He says he’ll do it because she’s the worst thing that ever happened to him. He and Kaitlyn leave and Maxine smiles. This is a confusing story.

Tamina comes out of a dressing room and runs into Titus. She yells at him for leaving Young last week but Titus has a peace offering: a coconut tree. She seems legitimately pleased and kisses him on the cheek. Tamina walks off and runs into Young who doesn’t seem happy with Titus giving her a gift. Young walks up to Titus and Titus says he was just proving he was better than Young again. Titus leaves and Young is mad.

Back to Kaitlyn and Bateman with the one with better legs saying that she misses the old days of NXT. Bateman disagrees but they hear screams from a closet. They open it up to find Striker bound and gagged holding Hawkins’ cane. Bateman wants to get him to the doctor but Striker says he’ll handle this. He leaves while Bateman and Kaitlyn shrug.

Raw ReBound is about Cena and Lesnar.

Regal comes up to Reks and Hawkins, saying he’s underestimated them. He squeezes their necks and wants to know where Striker is. They don’t know and Regal says if anything is wrong with Striker, there will be serious consequences. Regal leaves and they go to find Striker. They open the closet and find that he’s gone. Are we supposed to believe that a guy that was kidnapped in whatever city has been in the same closet for a month now? Anyway Maxine comes with Curtis to laugh at them.

Michael McGillicutty vs. Tyson Kidd

Regal is back on commentary and is all messed up still. We get a quick recap which is based around Kidd not being a Hart and this is the rubber match in the feud. Regal seems back into it once the bell rings. Kidd works on the arm to start and arm drags him to a stalemate. He keeps making McGillicutty miss by using his speed, including sliding between his legs to clothesline him to the floor. Kidd dives over the top but crotches himself on the ring skirt. McGillicutty sends him onto the announce table as we take a break.

Back with McGillicutty holding a chinlock as Regal talks about leopards. Kidd gets up quickly but a shot to the back of the head puts him right back down. As he did earlier, Kidd speeds things up and has better success. An armdrag puts McGillicutty down and then fires off the strikes. A dropkick to the side of the head gets two. A Sharpshooter is countered but Kidd comes back with a Blockbuster for two. I could go for seeing that move becoming someone’s finisher again. Kidd kicks him in the head and tries his springboard cross body but Michael dropkicks him out of the air for two.

McGillicutter is countered into a backslide for two. Saito Suplex puts Kidd down and McGillicutty hooks a Sharpshooter on Kidd. Tyson makes the rope so McGillicutty tries the PerfectPlex, which should have been his finisher since the day he debuted. Kidd reverses it though and sets for the Sharpshooter. Instead of that though, he puts his foot above McGillicutty’s shoulder and leans forward, wrapping his feet around Michael’s head and pulling back on his arm as he leans back. It’s like a triangle choke but with their legs intertwined and it gets the tap out at 9:24.

Rating: B. This was an entertaining match with a cool finish as Kidd goes up a level to beat McGillicutty. Regal talks about Kidd doing submission training with Bret every day off he has which plays into this as well. This was a very solid ending to this feud and hopefully Kidd can get actual TV time soon instead of being the best wrestler on NXT.

Overall Rating: C+. I certainly got my wish about this show: Tonight’s episode was certainly not boring. I’m not completely sure it made sense, but it definitely was not boring. However, we got a very good main event (by NXT standards) and some plot twists that have me wondering what’s coming next. That alone is good enough to make this a good show and I’m curious as to where this is going.

Results
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson – Rollup
Tyson Kidd b. Michael McGillicutty – Leg Trap Triangle Choke

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Smackdown
Date: April 10, 2012
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

This is another special live show with a theme of Blast From The Past. That means that we have the legends coming out again for their semi-annual appearances which don’t mean much other than us getting to say “hey, I know you.” It still should be fun though as most of these shows are. Also we might even get some fallout from last week with Sheamus. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Indians’ bullpen. How can it be this bad?

We get a quick clip of Bryan breaking up with AJ last week. Bryan is in Piper’s Pit tonight.

Here’s Mean Gene for an interview in the ring with Sheamus. Ok so by interview it means introducing him and standing in the corner. Sheamus talks about there being a code of honor as champion and he didn’t follow it last week. There was a Daniel Bryan chant as he started talking but it wasn’t a huge one. He publicly apologizes to all referees including Chad Patton. Everyone makes mistakes and he always learns the hard way from them.

Ace’s new trumpet music cuts him off. He shows us the clip of the ending of last week’s main event and the Brogue Kick after the match. Ace wants to know who Sheamus thinks he is and demands a public apology. Sheamus says he just did that and Ace says he didn’t hear it so do it again. He does it again and Ace wants an apology to all of the other referees and we get the same exchange with the same result. Now Ace wants an apology to the world which brings a smirk to Sheamus’ face.

Ace says apologize now which Sheamus does, almost laughing at the same time. That’s not good enough apparently and Sheamus is on permanent probation, meaning that if he touches a referee by accident or on purpose, he’s fired. Also he’s being fined $500,000. Also tonight it’s Del Rio/Bryan vs. Sheamus/Okerlund. As long as we don’t see him in trunks again I’m ok. This was an attempt at making us care about Sheamus and while it’s nothing new at all, it’s certainly better than nothing.

Bob Orton wishes his son good luck in his upcoming match.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

Henry misses a charge and Orton pounds away with right hands. He tries to climb the corner to punch even harder but gets slammed out for two. Bob is watching in the back as we take a break, 80 seconds into the match. Back with Orton fighting out of a neck crank. We see a clip from the break of Orton avoiding a charging Henry to send him into the stairs. Back to the neck crank and then a slam sets up a splash for two. Orton gets his feet up to stop a charging Henry and hits him clotheslines which don’t work.

A low DDT like Miz uses gets two. RKO is countered with Henry throwing Orton to the floor. Orton comes back and rams him into the post twice and slides in when Kane’s pyro goes off. Kane pops up on the screen and says by beating him at Mania, he became a monster again. Last week Orton proved he can be just as evil as Kane is. Kane says it shouldn’t end now, so we pan back to see Bob Orton laid out in front of him. The match just stops at about 11:00.

Rating: C-. This was watchable but not much more. I have no idea why it was a no contest instead of the logical countout win for Henry. Henry has a world title match on Monday so you need to keep him strong, but at the same time you don’t want Orton to look weak. The perfect solution? Countout loss, but for some reason that’s not what we get because WWE has no idea what they’re doing for the most part with basic things like that anymore.

Randy runs to the back and finds his dad but Kane drills him with a pipe and says he’s a sucker for family reunions.

Back and we recap what we saw four minutes ago.

DiBiase and Atlas are watching from the back. Atlas says this is going to be a squash match.

Ryback vs. Benny Camer

Patterson and Hillbilly Jim are watching in the back as well. Ryback KILLS HIM with a clothesline right after the bell and then puts him in a torture rack position and falls backwards for the pin at 35 seconds. WAY better than both Lord Tensai matches so far as Ryback looked like a killer.

Heath Slater is trying to talk Tyson Kidd into teaming with him tonight. Slater even has a Hall of Fame manager for them that says Slater could be the next Honky Tonk Man. It’s Jimmy Hart, who looks exactly the same as he did 20 years ago. Take that for what you will.

Mick Foley comes out to do commentary.

Heath Slater/Tyson Kidd vs. Usos

Cole actually references Countdown to Lockdown (not by name) when talking about Foley’s commentary history. We get the Megaphone which never goes out of style. Jimmy starts with Tyson in this NXT special. They exchange cradles and Slater tags himself in. Off to a chinlock and Jimmy says that he’s had more tag champions than anyone in the history of the WWE. I think Captain Lou might have something to say about that. The Usos make the hot tag and clean house, hitting their toss into the Samoan Drop. Mick gets tired of Jimmy and chases him off with Socko, allowing the Superfly Splash to end this mess at 2:40.

Jimmy takes Socko post match. These legends bits aren’t working at all for the most part.

Time for the Pit with Bryan as the guest. He looks pretty good. Old but good. He’s not as big as a house if nothing else. Piper says he misses being here and says Bryan is the guest tonight, getting a somewhat mixed reaction. We see the breakup clip for the fourth time tonight and here’s Bryan. There’s a brief but solid YES chant but it dies quickly. Piper says Bryan looks happy for someone that lost the title in 18 seconds. Bryan says he’s been granted his rematch and the fans chant 18 seconds. The match is at Extreme Rules and it’s 2/3 falls. AJ will be nowhere to be found.

Piper isn’t sure about that but he does know that AJ is here tonight. He likes AJ and since this is his show, AJ, COME ON DOWN! AJ comes out and is very excited to be in the Pit. She says hi to Daniel and Piper is surprised. AJ defends Bryan and says that deep down, he’s a good person. Piper says in the Pit you don’t have to be politically correct. AJ insists it was her fault and begs forgiveness. She wants to talk to Bryan and Piper tries to talk her out of it. Bryan cuts them off and says if AJ loves him, she’ll leave right now. Piper says she doesn’t need to listen to Bryan but AJ leaves anyway, getting a reaction out of it too.

Bryan goes to leave but Piper goes into Hot Rod mode and talks about Bryan’s YES YES YES shirt. Piper says he has a lot of children including four girls, four ladies. Piper says you don’t tell a lady to shut up. That’s a No. You don’t yell at a lady. That’s a No. You don’t use a lady as a human shield, because that’s a coward, and that’s Bryan, also a No. Piper says he’s looking forward to seeing Sheamus kick Bryan’s head off twice. Bryan slaps Piper and runs away. Piper was on here and it worked well.

Drew McIntyre/Bella Twins vs. Great Khali/Natalya/Beth Phoenix

Men vs. men and women vs. women. The men start but Drew gets chopped and tags out. He says he doesn’t need this and walks out. Alicia hits a northern lights suples on Brie for the pin at 56 seconds. What was the point in this match existing?

Mae Young comes out and kisses Khali. I guess that’s why the match existed.

Damien Sandow explains how sophisticated he is. He doesn’t like social media because it furthers the moral decay of society. Preach it brother.

Another clip of Kane and the Ortons earlier.

Raw ReBound.

Gene thinks Sheamus has a plan for tonight. Sheamus says they’re probably going to lose tonight but he’s not going to let Ace have the satisfaction of seeing Sheamus sweat. If they survive, the first pint is on Sheamus. They’ll either drink to remember or drink to forget.

Jim Duggan vs. Hunico

Duggan knocks him to the floor where Camacho is waiting. Duggan calls out Sarge and I think we have a tag match on our hands. Well it is Smackdown after all. Or maybe Sarge throws Duggan the 2×4 and it’s a DQ at 1:00. Hunico takes the Cobra Clutch post match.

Here’s Cody to complain about life in general. He’s looking forward to a future where he’s the champion again and where these legends don’t hog the spotlight. This brings out Dusty for what could be interesting. Dusty says that he’d do anything for his son, but he doesn’t quite get what Cody has been doing lately. Cody has been poking a grizzly bear lately in Big Show. Dusty gets cut off as Cody says Dusty is embarrassing him and they can talk in the back.

Cody goes to leave but here’s Big Show. He does the required Dusty impression and says he’ll show the real Cody Rhodes. It’s one of the Dashing Tips videos, this one being him putting on lip gloss. Cody looks stunned and Dusty looks…..uh…….I think the right word is disappointed. Show says that was embarrassing and leaves. Dusty doesn’t say anything but does get to dance to his music. I still stand by my theory that Dusty’s kids are the biggest ribs in the history of pro wrestling.

Alberto Del Rio/Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus/Gene Okerlund

The Fink does Gene/Sheamus’ entrance, making it instantly better. Sheamus starts with Del Rio but the heels double team him down quickly. Gene is in a Sheamus t-shirt and pants thankfully. Del Rio puts on a facelock but gets backdropped quickly. Sheamus throws both of them around but the Brogue Kick misses. Bryan dropkicks him to the floor and Del Rio kicks his head off.

Gene gets in for some reason and is surrounded. Ricardo is in there too. The Legends Army comes out to distract Bryan, allowing Sheamus to kick his head off for the pin at 3:23. I’m not going to rate it as most of that was Gene getting trapped and the Legends coming in, but the match was nothing at all of note anyway.

The legends all beat up Ricardo and celebrate to end the show. We’re not done yet though as Cole gets in the ring and says he knows they have to get back to the retirement home so let’s get a quick photo. They surround him and Patterson gives him a weak right hand to knock him to the floor. Atlas has some GUNS on him.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. First of all, if you’re looking for the Smackdown version of Old School Raw, you didn’t get it here. This was more like a regular episode of Smackdown with some legends thrown in rather than the other way around. Now that being said it still worked okish, with the Pit being a highlight. The Sheamus vs. Ace stuff is decent as it gives Sheamus what he needs more than anything else: something people can relate to.

Since he turned face back in August, all he’s really done is beat people up and tell the occasional funny Irish story. That’s only going to get him so far and I think we reached that back in January. This is something a little different and while it’s something we’ve seen before, I liked how Sheamus handled it. It’s something I want to see continue and that’s a really good sign. This was a good show overall, but it’s not a great one.

Results
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest
Ryback b. Benny Camer – Torture Rack Drop
Usos b. Tyson Kidd/Heath Slater – Superfly Splash to Slater
Great Khali/Natalya/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Drew McIntyre – Northern lights suplex to Brie
Hunico b. Jim Duggan via DQ when Duggan hit Hunico with the 2×4
Sheamus/Gene Okerlund b. Alberto Del Rio/Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick to Bryan

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2012
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s huge show it should be very interesting to see where the company goes from here. Brock Lesnar returned last week and laid out Cena, so I’d bet that we’re going to hear about that here. Other than that we have Brodus teaming with Santino apparently to face Ziggler/Swagger. Throw in Lord Tensai and Punk vs. Jericho and there are a ton of ways this show could go. Let’s get to it.

Oh and the cast of the Three Stooges is here tonight. Scratch that whole great show tonight.

We open with….the Stooges. Not Brock, not Cena, not Rock, not Punk, but a video on the Stooges.

Punk vs. Henry for the belt tonight.

Ace and Otunga really open the show. Ace now has trumpets for his music, which is probably a good thing. He talks about how this next guy is going to be the future of the WWE and will carry the banner of the company for years to come. We get a clip of Lesnar returning last week and laying out Cena. Brock vs. Cena is officially announced for Extreme Rules. Well Cena’s last match was a year long build so maybe a quick one is a good idea here.

Cole actually mentions UFC by name during Brock’s entrance. Brock does the jump to the apron thing. He thanks Ace for having the wisdom to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. That’s all Brock can get out because here comes Cena. Cena slams Brock in the face and HERE WE GO. Brock takes him down immediately but a bunch of suits pull them apart. Ok scratch that as they try to pull them apart. A bunch of jobbers and Ziggler come out and now there are bigger names in there.

There are probably thirty guys in there but they can’t keep Brock back. Even Sheamus is in there. Cena has some serious blood from his mouth and what looks like a huge hole in his lip. Now Cena goes after Brock again. They go at it AGAIN and Lesnar is finally put outside. Really hot opening here with faces and heels acting more realistic by having guys from either side of the spectrum holding back both Cena and Lesnar.

After a break Ace yells at Teddy and says it was his fault for not containing Cena. He sends Teddy off to get an explanation from Cena and complains to Otunga. Teddy leaves when Eve pops in and says to call her later. Why not talk to him now?

Brodus Clay/Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Dolph and Santino start things off with Ziggy hooking some quick rollups for two. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and Jack manages to take him down as we take a break. Back with Ziggler dropping an elbow for two on Santino. Off to swagger who slams Santino down to block a tag. Dolph comes back in and hooks something like a crossface which is broken up. There’s the hot tag to Brodus who cleans house, headbutts Dolph down and splashes him for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but the idea here was to make Brodus look like he can compete with bigger names, which he certainly did. I’m not wild about putting him with Santino, but having him play the monster that wrecks things after the hot tag is a fine role for him at the moment. No real complaints here but it was nothing more than adequate.

Miz is looking to talk to Ace but Ace says we’ll talk next week. Teddy comes in and gets yelled at but Cena comes in with dried blood on his face. He talks about the legitimacy that Ace wants which is fine with Cena, because he loves this and has no issue with getting his face busted up. Cena wants a match tonight and says Ace can pick the opponent no matter who it is. Cena leaves and Ace takes care of the idea of a mystery by saying it’ll be Otunga. Gee good thing he told us. We might have waited to see who it was.

Santino is looking for the Three Stooges.

Back from a break and he’s still looking. They’re playing it up like they’re the real Stooges and not actors portraying the Stooges. Instead santino finds Kane and does Stooges sound effects anyway. Kane isn’t pleased so Santino runs off.

R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes him down quickly with the Alabama Slam….and here’s big Show who looks pretty awesome in a suit. We get a video from last week with Cody getting beaten by Kofi. The video ends and Cody walks into Little Jimmy for the pin at 1:38. You know, like last week, but this week instead.

Santino is still looking for them and finds a crate marked fragile. He thinks it’s Italian soda sent by his mom so he pries it open to find the Stooges. Slapstick ensues. We get the debut of the Moe-Bra. They go back in the box but Moe says they need to think outside of it.

Lord Tensai vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Believe it or not there’s a story to this. Yoshi has said on Twitter that he’s REAL Japanese and not a fake like Tensai. An Albert chant breaks out as he rams in headbutts. Yoshi got in a pair of chops but that’s about it. Tensai hits a bunch of strikes and just like last week it’s stopped after a chokebomb at 2:04. Claw hold post match.

Before we go to break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk’s head last week.

After we come back from break we see Jericho breaking the bottle over Punk’s head last week.

Here’s Punk to talk about how Straightedge isn’t something everyone gets. It’s just one drink or one cigarette and he gets that. However to him it’s a choice. It wasn’t something he chose to be trendy, but rather because it’s a way of life. He doesn’t talk about it that much (other than becoming a messiah because of it) because he didn’t want people to feel sorry for him. He told himself a long time ago that he’d make it to the top because he’s the best in the world.

And then here came Chris Jericho who also says that he’s the best in the world. Jericho broke the privacy that Punk has spent his life building up by telling the world about his father’s alcoholism and making up lies about his sister. Then at Wrestlemania, he made Jericho tap out. Jericho took it one step further and poured whiskey all over him and broke the bottle over his head. It made Punk smell exactly like his father did when he’d come home drunk, which is something Punk hates.

Jericho pops up on the screen and thinks Punk is still hung over. Is he shaking because he’s on his first bender? Last week, Jericho made him CM Drunk for the first time. Punk is shaking with anger and says that last week all that was broken was a bottle. He says that Jericho’s failure was taking Punk to a dark place because he’s going to take that out on Jericho.

Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk

Punk goes right at him with knees and a spinning kick. A clothesline doesn’t do much and Henry runs him over on a second attempt at one. They go to the floor and Punk hits him with a monitor for the DQ at 47 seconds. Ok then.

Punk gets ready to jump off the apron with the monitor but Jericho pops up with alcohol. The distraction lets Henry get up and destroy Punk with a pair of slams in the ring. Henry leaves so Jericho pulls out his beer He goes to pour it on Punk but the champ pops up and it’s on. Punk charges into the Codebreaker though and gets beer poured on him.

Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is exactly what you would expect from a Ryder match anymore: Del Rio beats him up, Ryder gets in a few shots so that two people in the audience believe he could have a chance, the Rough Ryder is countered and the armbreaker ends it at 1:27. The way they’ve treated Ryder might be the thing in WWE that disgusts me more than anything else in company history. Seriously.

The Stooges have an idea for something next.

Here are the Stooges minus Curly. He comes out in a fat suit as Hogan but his voice is high pitched. Moe smacks him and he turns into a pretty bad Hogan imitation. The fans are NOT impressed. THANKFULLY Kane comes out, drawing cheers. He does the fire corners thing and Moe/Larry run. Curly Hulks Up and gets chokeslammed. This was so stupid.

Henry says next week he gets another title shot, no DQ and no countout.

We recap the brawl that opened the show.

Lesnar says he’s proud of everything he does. Eight years ago he left and went to the UFC, won their world title and gave them success which he’s proud of. Now he’s proud to be back here where Cena thinks he’s on the top. Cena couldn’t hold his jockstrap in a million years. He’s not here to make friends because he’s a proud war machine but he’s not as proud as the fans should be to have him back.

Here’s a video of the main event guys talking about how great HHH vs. Taker was because we can’t go five minutes without praising HHH or Undertaker right? At least with this one, the match really was that good.

John Cena vs. David Otunga

Feeling out process to start and Cena wipes the baby oil off Otunga. To be fair the guy was probably a fire hazard. Cena pounds him but he misses a splash in the corner and David gets in some offense. Shoulder block gets two. Otunga poses a lot and here comes Cena. The usual stuff sets up the Shuffle, AA, STF for the tap at 5:05.

Rating: C-. This was nothing of note but it gave us some Cena to watch for the night. Also it allows for the Brock run-in which is happening as I type this. These two are big deals and they need to be on TV as much as they can when Brock is around. He’ll only be around a few times a month so they need to use him properly.

Post match Brock runs in and low blows Cena (which we get a full replay of in the middle of the attack) and lays him out with the F5.

Overall Rating: B+ This was a very solid show and while it’s a step behind last week’s, the hot streak certainly is continuing. The Stooges thing was stupid, but other than that we’re still getting Cena vs. Lesnar in a few weeks, which is huge to say the least. The key difference to WWE at the moment is it feels like they’re actually trying and putting some effort into their stories which hasn’t been the case for a long time recently. You can tell when they’ve got it in coast mode and when they’re pounding it in, and they’re on a roll at the moment. Blast From The Past should be fun tomorrow night, at least I hope.

Results
Santino Marella/Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Splash to Ziggler
R-Truth b. Cody Rhodes – Little Jimmy
Lord Tensai b. Yoshi Tatsu via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Punk hit Henry with a monitor
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF

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I like this for a contrast to Cena vs. Rock, as they’re not making us wait that long. The company is hot right now so they’re capitalizing on it. The opening brawl was awesome too.

Thoughts on this?

Smackdown
Date: April 6, 2012
Location: Orlando Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the first show of the new year on Fridays and we have a new boss. Tonight we have Sheamus vs. Del Rio where if Del Rio wins he gets a title match at some later date. It should be interesting to see where Bryan goes after this as he’ll certainly get a rematch somewhere. It’s always interesting to see where things go immediately after Mania, so let’s get to it.

We open with Otunga introducing Johnny Ace to trumpet fanfare. David is wearing what can only be described as a suit jacket over his shoulders that would be big on Viscera. Ace talks about how he’s going to bring charisma and leadership to this show as it’s never been done before. This is a new era of people power. Ace hopes Teddy will be professional during this transition. He asks Teddy to come out and is almost immediately cut off in his smug speech. Teddy says he can tell Ace what he really thinks of him now that he’s out of a job.

He was told it would be crazy to come to Smackdown tonight but he couldn’t just leave the job without thanking the fans. He’s had a great job being the GM and he’d like a holla holla holla before he leaves. Teddy goes to leave but Ace says hang on a second. He offers Teddy a job in the new administration but Teddy turns it down.

Ace reminds him of his grandchildren who need to go to college. Otunga points out that somehow Ace controls the college fund the company set up for Long’s grandchildren, so Teddy reluctantly takes the job of Ace’s lackey. Oh wait first he also have to say that Ace is better than him or it doesn’t happen. Teddy says it but Ace wants to hear it once more, with feeling. No word on what the job is yet but it likely won’t be good for him. Teddy leaves and Ace announces Kane vs. Orton in a No DQ match, but first we have this.

Mark Henry/David Otunga vs. R-Truth

Apparently Booker has to be in Connecticut for a closed door meeting next week with the WWE bosses. Otunga starts and is quickly taken down by a clothesline for two. Lie Detector gets two. Henry comes in who kicks Truth down with a big boot. Abraham Washington is watching in the back. Truth avoids a charge in the corner and hits a side kick, but the World’s Strongest Slam kills him so that Otunga can get the pin at 2:03.

With all three of them still in the ring, here’s Kane. I guess they’re just cutting down the time between matches because he doesn’t do anything to any of them.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

This is a No DQ match. Kane knocks him to the floor very quickly but Orton rams him into the barricade. Kane sees Orton’s barricade and raises him a table to take over. Orton throws him over the table and then into the steps. This is a total brawl so far. Kane punches him up the ramp and they slug it out on the stage. Orton almost knocks Kane off the stage but Kane grabs him by the throat. Randy fights out of that and tries the RKO but Kane DDTs him as we take a break.

Back with them in the ring and Kane taking off the turnbuckle pad. Clothesline gets two for Kane. Orton breaks up the top rope clothesline and dropkicks Kane down. Powerslam looks to set up the RKO but Kane bails to the floor. He pulls Randy to the floor and they slug it out even more. Kane gets dropped on the barricade and a clothesline knocks him over into the time keeper’s area.

Orton tries the elevated DDT on the floor but Kane fights out of it and big boots Orton down. Kane goes under the ring and throws five chairs into the ring. As he comes back in though Orton kicks him in the face and pops him with the chair a few times. The Elevated DDT onto the chair gets two. Kane picks up the chair and goes off on Randy with it but can only get two. Here comes the chokeslam but Orton shoves him into the exposed buckle and the RKO finishes at 10:20 shown of 13:50.

Rating: B-. I liked the match but I think the one at Mania was better. Orton evening the score here is good as he’s been jobbing a lot lately, but I’m not sure I get the idea of having this rematch five days after Mania. This wasn’t the best No DQ match on Smackdown that I’ve ever seen but it did its job well enough.

We get a package of stills from Bryan vs. Sheamus. You know, to make sure no one sees the full version of it.

We get a clip from Raw with Del Rio and Sheamus.

Jobber Barry Stevens gets to talk while the lower card watches in the back for some reason. He thinks the people in Orlando are rude.

Ryback vs. Barry Stevens

Ryback is more famous as Skip Sheffield and is acknowledged as being on the first season of NXT but his name isn’t given. I’m assuming the roster was watching for Ryback. Total squash with a kind of delayed fisherman’s brainbuster getting the pin at 1:08. It looked kind of like a MuscleBuster but more like a suplex than dropping him on the back of his head.

Here are Bryan and AJ to talk about Sunday. Bryan says he’s had a chance to think since Sunday…and he tails off. AJ takes the mic and says that Bryan is a great wrestler and a great person. She’s not the only one that thinks that, drawing a loud YES chant. She talks about the YES signs and chants at Mania and Raw, even when Bryan wasn’t in the ring, which causes a Daniel Bryan chant. Everyone is here to support him.

Bryan doesn’t think that it’s support, but rather mocking. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” These people are sheep and they don’t make it any better, because AJ cost him the title. He screams at her about how he beat giants in the cage and how he won the Chamber but AJ just had to have her kiss and cost him the title. It was really the kiss of death.

AJ tries to defend herself but Bryan says she won’t make him the bad guy because it’s her fault. It was her clinginess and selfishness that cost Bryan everything. That’ll never happen again because they’re through. He tells her to go sit in her SUV and eat a cheeseburger. Dang those are some serious words. She begs him to talk about this but he dumps her anyway and throws her out of his ring. The fans give her the Goodbye Song.

Big Show vs. Heath Slater

Cody is on commentary. Before the match Show airs the same video from Raw with Cody getting knocked out. Show chops him a lot and throws him around as Cody says he isn’t sure what went wrong on Sunday. Show tackles him and the chokeslam ends this at 1:14.

Cody almost goes in to fight Big Show but changes his mind. Show knocks out Slater with the WMD.

We get the Punk/Jericho segment from Raw with the alcohol.

The Bellas are in the back with Ace when Sheamus comes in. This is his first appearance as champion: a backstage segment. The referee has been told to bring Alberto and Sheamus face to face tonight so Sheamus can’t kick him in the face. Sheamus says ok and only those that deserve it will get a surprise kick. He talks about his cousin who was a bully and how he was in charge until the people rebelled against him. Subtle.

Beth Phoenix vs. Nikki Bella

Kelly comes out for no apparent reason. Total dominance until Kelly comes to the apron for no apparent reason. She distracts Beth who then charges shoulder first into the post, letting Nikki hit an X Factor for the pin at 59 seconds. This enhanced the show so much for me.

Video on Chief Jay Strongbow who passed away earlier this week.

We get a video on newcomer Damien Sandow, who talks about how real entertainment is a lost art. Instead of listening to Mozart or reading Shakespeare, we now watch Jersey Shore and Real Housewives. He doesn’t blame the people for it, but he will save you from it. Sandow is Idol Stevens from OVW and went by Sandow in FCW.

We get some videos of Cena before Mania, talking about how he has to win. This is followed up by Lesnar’s return and the F5. Once again Cole screws up the return as he sounds like he’s calling a Superstars comeback.

The Three Stooges cast will be guest starring on Raw. I really hope that doesn’t hurt the hot streak WWE has been on.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

If Alberto wins, he gets a future title shot. We have about 15 minutes of airtime left and this is the first live appearance of Sheamus. That goes a long way in telling you where he stands in the company’s eyes. There’s a break between the entrances and Tuesday will be a live Blast From The Past Smackdown. That should be fun. Josh talks about a WWE Magazine article about what Del Rio’s trunks signify. Booker: “They mean he has money. Don’t overcomplicate things.”

Del Rio tries to go after the arm but Sheamus comes back with the Finlay fireman’s carry roll which I can’t think of the name of. Josh says this is for the title and that isn’t disputed by either other commentator, but I’m pretty sure it’s not on the line here. Alberto works on the arm but the Armbreaker is broken up and Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick which is ducked. Del Rio heads to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Sheamus getting two off the slingshot shoulder. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest but Del Rio escapes and a running enziguri puts Sheamus on the floor. He rams Sheamus’ shoulder into the steps and hooks an arm hold back inside. Sheamus tries a neckbreaker but Del Rio escapes and goes back to the arm.

Alberto charges into the Irish Curse and both guys are down. Sheamus destroys him with power moves and calls for the Brogue Kick but Ricardo pops up for a distraction. Del Rio brings in a chair but Sheamus takes it away. The referee sees him holding it and calls for a DQ at 7:39 shown of 11:09. Sheamus didn’t use the chair.

Rating: C. I wasn’t into this match at all and it really wasn’t a good way to start off Sheamus’ reign. At the end of the day, Del Rio is boring. There’s NOTHING to his character besides he’s rich, he’s Mexican, and he uses a cross armbreaker. That’s it. He was showing some signs of being very evil and sinister when he injured Christian and stood over him with that evil smile, but now that’s all gone. There’s nothing to him but he stays in the title picture non-stop. I don’t get it.

Sheamus kicks the referee to end the show. Nice guy.

Overall Rating: C-. I really wasn’t into this show. They did a really bad job of showcasing the new champion, as he popped up halfway through the show for a pointless backstage segment, had a weak match which he lost, and was treated like a second act. This show was about Laurinitis who is most well known for being boring. That’s not exactly something that makes me want to watch Smackdown, but hopefully things get better next week.

Results
David Otunga/Mark Henry b. R-Truth – Otunga pinned R-Truth after a World’s Strongest Slam
Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO
Ryback b. Barry Stevens – Delayed Fisherman’s Brainbuster
Big Show b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Facejam
Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus was seen holding a chair

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a different kind of show as I have no idea what’s coming here. Due to the WWE being in Orlando this week, the only recappers that care enough about Impact were at Raw and Smackdown, so there aren’t any spoilers coming in this week. It’s kind of a nice change of pace and I’m curious to see what happens when I don’t know what to expect. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s ending with Hogan becoming the new GM.

The roster is around ringside and here’s Hulk to address them. He thanks Sting for having his back and talks about meeting with creative earlier today. There’s going to be a lot of new stuff coming up but first of all, let’s talk about Lockdown. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson and it ends there. As for the Knockouts, there’s a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the #1 contender, whatever that means.

Hogan calls out Eric Bischoff but Flair says he’s not here. Flair says no one tells him anything so Hogan says get Eric here. Here’s Roode who says he’s right on time. Roode says that his only obligation is Lockdown so he’s out of here. Hogan says hang on a minute and calls Anderson into the ring. He makes Roode vs. Anderson tonight because it’s what the people want. As for Angle, he won’t be wrestling Hardy at Lockdown. That draws booing, so he’s wrestling Hardy tonight. Actually RIGHT NOW! As in after a break!

Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Hardy hooks an armbar to start and Kurt has some issues breaking it. Instead of wrestling he goes to the eyes but Hardy whips off a headscissors to send Kurt to the floor. There’s a slingshot dropkick and they brawl to the outside. Kurt is busted open. Kurt pounds Jeff down and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting a great Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Twist is countered into the Rolling Germans with Kurt trapping Jeff’s left arm.

Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner but as he sets for the Swanton, Kurt runs the corner and hits the belly to belly. There’s the ankle lock but Jeff counters and hits a mule kick to put Angle down. Kurt grabs the referee to prevent the Swanton and tries to get Jeff to jump into a low blow but it’s avoided. Twist is countered again and Angle goes to the floor where he takes the countout at 12:54.

Rating: B-. This was getting good until the ending. I’d bet money on the rematch happening in ten days anyway (namely because I saw the rematch being made before I wrote this rating) because the idea of making people pay to see the match is a stupid idea in wrestling right? Good match until the bad ending.

Hogan runs into Angle in the back and makes the rematch for Lockdown in ten days. I give up.

Flair gets Eric on the phone and says get here.

Ray is trending apparently and says he’ll be the next world champion. He’s going to take care of Aries next.

Ray is in the ring and says he’s eaten chicken wings bigger than Aries. Here’s the X Champion who quiets the crowd down and the blasts Ray with the mic. He pounds Ray in the corner and the beating is on. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Ray hits a HUGE powerbomb out of the corner.

Joseph Park is looking in catering for Abyss. No luck again. He needs to find someone soon.

AJ is praising Storm when Storm pops up. Storm has to have a match tonight and he wants it to be with the best. Storm vs. AJ later. Geez think they’re stacking this show enough?

Mickie James vs. Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

I think this is one fall. Angelina and Madison start and everyone runs in to break up the pins. Mickie replaces Madison and gets two off a neckbreaker. Side slam gets the same for Angelina. Velvet tags herself in and hits a low dropkick. Rayne and Love get in an argument as Tara comes in. The spinning side slam gets two and it’s off to Mickie vs. Velvet. Madison knocks Mickie down before she gets in and we go to the parade of finishers which culminates with Velvet hitting In Yo Face on Mickie for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: D+. I know I’m underrating these most of the time but I don’t care about women’s wrestling most of the time. Nothing to see here but at least they’re getting back to Velvet who is the most popular of the Knockouts. I don’t think Winter was ever in the match which is sad as I love that pale British thing.

Anderson says he’ll beat Roode when the champ and his security come in.

Storm and Hardy were at some country music awards.

Off to Eric Young’s bachelor party. They have suckers, non-alcoholic beer and a fantasy baseball draft. ODB comes in with alcohol and chicken wings. This goes nowhere.

James Storm vs. AJ Styles

Feeling out process for the first few minutes of the match. They fight over headlocks and AJ keeps looking for the kick. AJ takes it to the mat and goes for the leg but Storm runs. Did Styles add a submission that I don’t remember? Styles is sent to the corner and Storm hits a running enziguri from the apron. He goes up but AJ hits an enziguri of his own. AJ goes up but gets caught in a wicked Eye of the Storm for two. He tries the Closing Time but AJ blocks it and tries a figure four. That gets him nowhere so Styles tries the backflip into the reverse DDT, only for Storm to duck and kick AJ’s head off for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and that was an AWESOME superkick. The look on Styles’ face after he gets up is great as he looks like he got hit by a bus. This is what Storm needs before the main event at Lockdown: clean wins over big names. AJ isn’t going to get a main event push anytime soon so have him put people over like this.

Storm wants Roode in the ring next week.

Hogan tells Sting to take the time to get healthy because he needs Sting.

Storm celebrates with Montgomery Gentry, a country act. He leaves and Roode/security come up and the champ spits water at them.

Motorcity Machineguns vs. Mexican America

Here’s their big return. Shelley and Anarquia start things off with the Guns controlling early. Sabin comes in as does Hernandez. The speed takes over with a bulldog for two and it’s back to Shelley for some more double teaming. Shelley’s tornado DDT is broken up but we get quick heel miscommunication. The Guns speed things up and finish with Skull and Bones at 4:19.

Rating: C. This was just a squash as the Guns were clearly never in any danger. The thing is I don’t know what they’re supposed to do other than a feud with Joe and Magnus, as the division is about two teams deep at this point. They’re still fun to watch but there’s no Beer Money to feud with. I’m glad they’re back though.

Bischoff gets here and Flair whines about Hogan.

Back from a break and Hulk is in the ring, calling out Eric. Eric talks about how no one would predict that this would happen in the year 2012: Bischoff vs. Hogan. Eric says there are a lot of differences between the two of them but the big one is Hogan isn’t a leader. Hogan isn’t a leader of men like Eric is.

Hulk makes Team Garrett vs. Team Eric at Lockdown in Lethal Lockdown. Oh sweet merciful goodness he’s captaining the team for the namesake match at the second biggest show of the year. If Eric’s team wins, Garrett is off the roster forever. If Garrett’s team wins, Eric is gone….and he can never use the Eric Bischoff name again. How exactly can he do that? I mean….it’s his name.

Video on Storm training.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

Unless there’s an overrun which there hasn’t been in months, this is going to be a pretty short match. The security gets thrown out before the match and Anderson jumps Roode in the aisle. Anderson takes over quickly but the champ takes him down. We’re told that next week there’s a best of three series for the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown.

Roode runs his mouth about being the champ and walks into a powerslam for two. Fisherman’s suplex is countered as is Anderson’s neckbreaker. There goes the referee and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam. Roode steals a beer from what appeared to be an 8 year old’s hands and the bottle goes across Anderson’s head for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: C. I’m trying to get over that kid. Seriously he looked like he was 11 at oldest. The match was nothing special but given just over four minutes there was only so much that they could do. Not much to see to it and the post match stuff doesn’t really mean much. Anderson is in the main event jobber role now which is about where he belongs.

Hogan and Storm come out post match and Hogan reverses the decision. Roode doesn’t seem to care.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a significantly better show than the last two, but I don’t like what it looks like they’re doing. It looks like they’re stacking the TV shows to get the TV ratings up which is fine short term but it’s a bad idea for the long term. I’m not wild on Hogan as GM but if we get rid of Bischoff in two weeks I’m good. This was a good show for the most part, but I’m not sure I like where things are heading.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle

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NXT
Date: April 4, 2012
Location: Orlando Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

We’re done with Wrestlemania now and NXT is still going. Tonight we’re supposed to find out what happened to Striker as I think we’ll get the list of demands from the kidnapper. I would complain about Striker being on the Wrestlemania pre-show doing commentary, but I don’t think enough people know about the angle going on here anyway. Let’s get to it.

Tyler Reks vs. Percy Watson

Reks and Regal have been having a Twitter war and Regal apologizes because it’s been bullying on his part for how dominant he’s been in it. Reks takes him to the mat but Watson wrestles out of it. A one footed dropkick sets up an armdrag to send Reks to the outside. We actually get a Percy Watson chant. Back inside Tyler pounds him down and stomps Watson in the corner.

Reks keeps him down with knees and chinlocks. This match is going by quickly but I can barely remember anything about it. I don’t know what it is about Reks but he’s very forgettable. Watson gets his feet up in the corner to stop Tyler’s offense, allowing Josh to say that Percy is building momentum. Watson uses those good jumping abilities for some clotheslines but won’t cover. It doesn’t really matter though as he rolls up Reks out of a backdrop for the pin at 6:09.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what they’re going for with Watson as he’s been having the same match for months now. I think they’re trying to push him as a Shelton Benjamin type incredible athlete but it’s only kind of working. Watson needs a story to keep people interested in him, and that’s not going to happen here because his name isn’t Derrick Bateman.

Reks and Hawkins get ready to beat up Watson but Regal says cool it. If they attack Percy, they’ll be suspended for six weeks.

McGillicutty comes up to Natalya in the back and says if he beats Bateman tonight, he gets a rematch with Kidd. He hits on her and Natalya cuts him off. This goes nowhere but at least there’s no Natalya “comedy”.

Natalya vs. Kaitlyn

New music for Kaitlyn and Kidd is on commentary. Nattie takes her down and Kidd says there’s nothing going on with them. Bridging rollup gets two for Natalya. I think Natalya is a face here but I really have no idea. Kidd admits that he isn’t a Hart, which ticked him off when McGillicutty rubbed it in his face weeks ago. Natalya works on the arm and uses more holds on whatever part of the body she picks. Kaitlyn’s first offense is a cross body but Natalya laughs it off and the Sharpshooter gets the submission at 3:30.

Rating: C-. This was a squash for Natalya as she picked apart Kaitlyn with ease. I’m so glad they’ve dropped that idiotic gimmick she’s been using for the last few months as she’s very talented and can make even someone like Kaitlyn look good. I’m still not sure if she’s a face or a heel though, but I doubt WWE has put any thought into it either.

Young says he doesn’t need Titus’ help with Tamina. He’s gotten her a coconut tree. Tamina and Alicia come up and Young hits on her with some really corny lines and she walks off. Young: “Tamina where you going? I’ve got reservations at McDonalds!” That’s the first funny thing Young has said in almost three years.

Titus O’Neil/Darren Young vs. Usos

Young and Jimmy start things off with Young grabbing a headlock. Jimmy speeds things up and Young tags out. Titus kicks Jimmy’s head off in a great looking shot. Back to Young for about two seconds before O’Neil comes back. They tag again and then a fourth time in the span of about fifteen seconds.

A fifth tag results in a belly to back suplex by Young for two, followed by a chinlock. Jimmy gets up and comes back with a powerslam and there’s the tag to jey. Titus comes in as well and everything breaks down. O’Neil yells at Young and walks into the Samoan Drop and Jey hits the Superfly Splash (cross body according to Josh) for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C. Pretty good fast paced match here and hopefully this wraps up the Tamina/Young story because stories like that one are so repetitive on this show that they lose any interest at all. Hopefully the Usos get another tag title match soon and maybe even get the belts as they’ve got nothing left to do here.

Raw ReBound is all about Lesnar’s return.

Bateman and Percy tell Kaitlyn they still think she’s awesome. Maxine pops up on her phone shouting about needing something. She’s eating a doughnut when Curtis comes up. Everyone else leaves and Curtis says he’s got a message from the kidnappers, saying meet us in the basement. Bateman is still there apparently and says this is getting weird. Curtis: “That’s my line.” Bateman: “That was my fiance.” Maxine and Curtis leave when Kidd comes up to talk to Bateman. He wants Bateman to be ready for his match tonight. Not much to say by Kidd but I’m liking these rapid fire backstage scenes.

Curtis and Maxine are in the basement/boiler room when Reks and Hawkins pop up and Reks chokes out Curtis. Hawkins: “Reks and I are the kidnappers.” They did this to get Regal off their backs and they’ll frame Maxine/Curtis if they don’t get Regal off Hawkins/Reks’ backs. They leave and Curtis says it gets real weird next week. Dang it they had a good story going and they use it on the same people AGAIN.

Derrick Bateman vs. Michael McGillicutty

They exchange chops to start and then they exchange harder chops. Regal talks about Maxine’s mother coming up to accuse him of having an affair with Maxine at Wrestlemania. There’s no followup there. It just happened apparently. Bateman sends him to the floor and hits a flip dive from the apron to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bateman still in control.

McGillicutty gets in a knee to the ribs and takes over. Off to a chinlock which Derrick breaks, only to be sent into the ropes again. Dropkick gets two. We get the sequel to the chinlock but Bateman breaks it up again. A Russian legsweep sends the back of Michael’s head into the middle buckle and both guys are dazed. Now Bateman goes after the knee and hits a move that I don’t think would really hurt.

He gets McGillicutty in a DDT position but shoved McGillicutty forward. I think it was supposed to slam Michael’s head into the mat but it didn’t come close. There wasn’t a cover so it doesn’t matter but it was really different. Bateman hits the flipping neckbreaker that Morrison used to use for two. He really likes those falling forward moves. Derrick goes up but misses a top rope crossbody. McGillicutty tries a Sharpshooter but Bateman breaks it up. It doesn’t really matte though as the McGillicutter gets the pin at 8:30, earning McGillicutty a rematch with Kidd.

Rating: C. This was ok but I think it was more lengthy than good. I really don’t like Bateman’s in ring style as he uses some very weak looking moves such as the falling bulldog and that ridiculous looking reverse DDT. The match was ok and it sets up another step in the McGillicutty vs. Kidd feud which is good, but at the end of the day it’s another respect feud.

Overall Rating: C. This show had some ok stuff on it as far as the in ring parts, but I’m really disappointed in the culmination of the Striker kidnapping thing. Hawkins and Reks are so uninteresting as heels because their story has basically been this: they whine, Regal does something, they whine some more, Regal does something else. Nothing ever changes from that and it gets really boring really fast. And that’s what we get after a few promising weeks. I can’t say I’m surprised though, because this is the land of broken hopes.

Results
Percy Watson b. Tyler Reks – Rollup
Natalya b. Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter
Usos b. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil – Superfly Splash to O’Neil
Michael McGillicutty b. Derrick Bateman – McGillicutter

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I read something like this on another site and it makes me think about a few things. Paraphrased:

“It really says a lot about Cena that they have to bring out The Rock and a legit superstar fighter to make him break a sweat. That’s how far and away he is above the rest of the current roster.”

And that’s true. Lesnar is one of those guys that fans talk about in awe. He was a once in a generation talent and he managed to rise to the top of a legitimate sport. THAT is what they had to bring back to give Cena a real challenge.

Think about that for a bit.

He laid out Cena with an F5, so that’s either Wrestlemania or Summerslam, unless they’re feeling really stupid. This is a huge moment and I’m sure I’ll have more on it later, probably with a proper post tomorrow.

Until then, thoughts/reactions on this?