Smackdown
Date: March 9, 2012
Location: Mohegan Sun Casion, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

Johnny Ace is in charge tonight and if it’s the same as when Teddy ran Raw on Monday, then we’re in for a very uneventful night indeed. Other than that I don’t think we have much else announced for tonight. Hopefully we get anything on the story for Sheamus vs. Bryan as we need any reason to care about them. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Ace hosting tonight and implying he’s out to steal the job permanently.

We open with a cage being lowered. Otunga and Ace are in the ring. Tonight we’re starting with a championship match in a cage because Teddy has never done that.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger throws him into the corner and pounds Santino down followed by a modified powerslam for two. Clothesline gets two. This has been all Swagger in the first two minutes. Santino tries to escape but Swagger launches him face first into the steel. Santino comes back with some punches and his signature stuff. Headbutt gets two and here comes the Cobra. Ziggler tries to climb in so his hands get hit by the Cobra to knock him to the floor.

Swagger grabs Marella in a belly to back suplex but Santino hits the Cobra to escape and both guys are down. Ziggler is ejected and we take a break. Back with Santino taking a knee to the ribs to put him down. Swagger takes the Cobra glove off and throws it to the floor. Rollup gets one for Santino and a sunset flip gets two. Swagger throws him down and hits a Vader Bomb for two.

He tries to climb but gets crotched and covered for two. Santino gets most of the way over but Swagger saves and they’re both back inside now. Santino comes back with a tornado DDT and crawls for the door. Santino kicks Swagger off and dives again but Swagger grabs the ankle lock. Vickie tries to slam the door on Santino’s head but hits Swagger instead, allowing Santino to crawl out to retain at 7:33 shown of 11:03.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. Why this was in a cage is beyond me, but I guess it’s to further the Ace vs. Long feud somehow. The match was just ok as neither is particularly great in the ring but the crowd was way into Santino. It’s better than Swagger having the title as he actually gets on TV too. I guess this is Ryder’s push too.

Teddy comes out to celebrate with Santino.

Teddy comes to see Ace/Otunga and doesn’t want Aksana to have to face Kane. Ace enjoys seeing Teddy squirm and Teddy begs a bit. Ace proposes a match between himself and Teddy. If Ace loses, Aksana will face Kane. Ok then.

Shawn will confront Undertaker on Monday.

Here’s Drew McIntyre in his gear. Is anyone surprised by this? Drew says that Ace will rehired him if he wins a match against a mystery opponent.

Drew McIntyre vs. Great Khali

And never mind as Otunga says Khali isn’t in the match, so here’s the real opponent.

Drew McIntyre vs. Hornswoggle

So why did Khali come out there at all? Horny is terrified despite regularly beating full sized guys before. Drew dominates him and keeps pulling him up after slams. The referee stops it at 1:39.

Khali chops Drew post match.

Aksana is scared for Teddy but he says it’s ok.

Ace is warming up in a track suit.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mark Henry

So the word on the street is that Henry is in hot water for not being tough enough for working through his injuries, despite being out there almost every week working through his injuries. There’s your lesson guys: don’t work hard, don’t enhance your character, don’t work through injuries, or you might be in danger of being released. Slugout to start but Zeke gets beaten down quickly. Zeke comes back with the clotheslines in the corner but Henry runs him over again. World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:41. Well Jackson is moving up. Now he’s getting squashed by bigger names.

John Laurinitis vs. Teddy Long

Remember if Teddy wins, it’s Aksana vs. Kane. This gets big match intros. Ace grabs a mic after the bell rings and tries to talk Teddy out of this. Ace yells at Teddy to do the right thing and lay down, but Teddy won’t do it. Aksana freaks so Ace waves down Kane. Orton runs through the crowd and RKOs Kane, allowing Teddy to roll Ace up at about 2:30. Is this company aware the Wrestlemania is in three weeks? So to clarify, as soon as Kane gets up, he has to face Aksana right? Right?

According to the announcers, Teddy did that because Kane has been taken out so there won’t be a match. I’m as shocked as you are. Teddy and Aksana leave to have a nice dinner.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Primo/Epico

Uh oh. Kofi was starting to get over as a legit guy again so we better put him in the black tag team of the month. Now the Kane vs. Aksana match isn’t happening because Teddy and Aksana left. So why didn’t Teddy just send Aksana away earlier in the night? Epico and Kofi start with Epico being monkey flipped to the corner. Off to Truth who dances around and hits a spinning legdrop for two.

Back to Kofi and Primo hooks the rope to send Kofi to the floor. Booker praises the cheating for being the right move. See, that’s what most commentators are horrible at: being subtle. Things settle down a bit and it’s Kofi in trouble against Primo. Kofi comes back with a knee to the head and there’s the hot tag to Truth. Everything breaks down and the Little Jimmy gets the pin on Primo at 5:11.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but the tag champions get to job AGAIN to these two that have teamed together what, three times now? Why did Bourne have to get all drugged up when the division was actually getting some stability to it? This wasn’t a particularly good match, mainly because you knew the champions weren’t going to win.

Three minutes on Cena vs. Rock from Monday.

Here’s Cole in the ring to talk to Sheamus and Bryan. Yes, they’re actually talking about this match. Cole’s first question is to Bryan, asking how much of a role luck has played in his title reign. Bryan says you don’t need to be lucky when you’re good like he is. Nothing has been luck in any of his accomplishments, which he lists off. It’s been living a vegan lifestyle and scientific skill that has given him the title. That and charisma and sex appeal.

Sheamus says everyone needs a bit of luck. He’s lucky to be from Ireland and to be in WWE and in America and in front of all these people here. You make your own luck however and Sheamus has fought his way here. He also hasn’t hid behind a 99lb girl who looks like she should be in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. AJ: “Well from my point of view…” Bryan: “AJ shut up.” Sheamus says Bryan should be wearing the skirt. At Wrestlemania, Bryan’s luck runs out.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes/Daniel Bryan/The Miz

The staredown got cut short for Cody’s entrance, meaning once again this match gets like 3 minutes a week if it’s lucky. Sheamus vs. Cody gets things going. Quickly off to Randy as we hear again about Legacy and their history together. Orton stomps him down but Cody gets in a dropkick and the tag to Bryan. Cole says he’s starting to respect Bryan. Off to Big Show who throws the champion around a little bit more.

Bryan finally gets away and tags in his former NXT Pro. You know, in ancient history when NXT actually had a structure to it. Show throws Miz around too so Miz tags out to Cody. Cody comes in and tags out to Miz immediately. Show doesn’t care and brings Miz back in as we take a break. Back with Sheamus pounding on Miz. Miz comes back with some lefts in the corner but Sheamus comes back with a rolling fireman’s carry slam.

Off to Cody who gets the ten clubbing forearms in ropes. Miz finally gets in a shot to send him to the floor and Bryan adds the knee off the apron. Bryan vs. Sheamus now and Sheamus towers over him. Bryan keeps taking him down and strikes away with the knees and feet. Off to Miz who hits a running boot to the chest for two. Cody comes in as the heels are moving in and out well.

Back to Daniel who shouts YES with every kick in a funny bit. Miz hooks the chinlock and the knee to the back gets two. Here’s Cody again (see how fast they’re tagging?) as Cole makes fun of GI Bro. Celtic Cross out of nowhere is countered into a Russian legsweep for two. Irish Curse takes Cody down and there’s the hot tag to Randy. Everything breaks down and Show stalks Cody up the ramp. Elevated DDT takes Miz down but Bryan avoids it. Sheamus LAUNCHES Bryan into the barricade and they fight into the crowd. The Finale is countered into an RKO for the pin at 10:39 shown of 14:09.

Rating: C+. This was a good main event tag, but I’m really not sure why Miz was involved. Was Kane that injured off a single RKO? At least we got some in ring time for the two matches, although I’m worried that they’re going to give the title to Big Show which is one of the last people that they need to put a title on. Good match overall though.

Kane comes out post match and pulls Orton out to the floor. Kane knocks him into the crowd (called the Universe by Cole to make me roll my eyes) and they fight up the steps to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I REALLY didn’t like this show. It’s like the main matches are being pushed back for the sake of the Teddy Long and Johnny Ace and Aksana. As I said earlier, do they realize that there are three weeks before Wrestlemania? I know Ace vs. Teddy is going to be lead to a match at Mania but the rest of the show felt thrown together. We have an unneeded gimmick match, Drew being rehired again, meaning that weeks of losses add up to nothing, a Henry squash, and the tag champions losing again. This show had no focus at all and it was a pain to sit through as a result. Bad show.

Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Marella escaped the cage
Drew McIntyre b. Hornswoggle due to referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. Ezekiel Jackson – World’s Strongest Slam
Teddy Long b. John Laurinitis – Rollup
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Primo/Epico – Little Jimmy to Primo
Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show b. The Miz/Cody Rhodes/Daniel Bryan – RKO to Miz

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

If I remember right there’s this show and then another before Victory Road. The majority of the card is already set and we should be getting more of Sting vs. Roode’s build up tonight. I barely remember Impact from last week and that’s probably not a good thing. As for the rest of the PPV the card is also set and I’m looking forward to Storm vs. Ray, which I didn’t expect to happen. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Garrett/Eric situation.

Garrett arrives earlier today and isn’t worried about what Flair said earlier today.

Immortal (yes they’re really calling them that still) opens us up. It’s Flair, Eric and Gunner if you’re keeping track. There’s going to be a tag match later, presumably Garrett and a partner vs. Flair/Gunner. Eric thanks Flair for threatening Garrett. Garrett is watching in the back. Oh Gunner has to pick a partner too. Here’s Angle who apparently wants to be Gunner’s partner. Eric is very enthusiastic about Angle wanting to be the partner. Angle says he hates Garrett because Garrett disrespects his dad. Hogan is out of the country apparently.

Sting is putting the makeup on in the back and talks to Roode. Eric Young comes in and Sting looks embarrassed. Eric wants to impress ODB so Sting calls him Bobby and gives ODB a shot at the Knockout Tag Titles. Her partner for the women’s tag titles: Eric.

Knockout Tag Titles: Eric Young/ODB vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Eric starts with Gail but ODB tags herself in. Gail runs and is promptly clotheslined. Off to Madison who looks great in red. The champs work over ODB with some double teaming. Madison takes a clothesline to the ribs which was supposed to be a spear I think. Either way it allows the double tag and Eric locks up with the referee. Eric puts both girls in an airplane spin and ODB clotheslines them both down. There go Eric’s pants and Madison hits Eric with a title, knocking him onto Gail for the pin and the titles at 5:48.

Rating: D. I hate this angle. I’ve made that quite clear over the past few months and I don’t think it really requires a lot of explanation. Eric Young and ODB are supposed to be funny but they aren’t. It’s the most forced comedy I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s like taking the ingredients of a cake and putting them on a table and calling it a cake. It doesn’t quite work.

Eric proposes post match but we cut away before the answer.

Post break he actually asks (he was just on a knee with a ring before) and ODB says nothing. Instead she takes the ring and drops to her knee. Eric says yes.

Mr. Parks, presumably Abyss’ dad (James Mitchell anyone?) arrived earlier. He looks like Penn Jillette.

Ray says Storm isn’t making it to Lockdown.

Aries gets an e-mail from Sting saying Ion gets his title match tonight. “So why should they buy the PPV then?” The second biggest wrestling company in America ladies and gentlemen.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Zema Ion

Aries takes over to start and puts Ion on the mat, resulting in a lap around the ring. He Stuns Ion on the ropes then adds a hilo and elbow for two. Ion hits a spinning dive out of the corner and takes it to the floor. Ion sets for a dive to the floor but gets caught by a running Aries. He chops Ion to the floor but misses a dive. Back in Ion rakes the eyes and goes for his hairspray. The brainbuster is countered and we almost lose a referee. Ion misses the hairspray and Aries gets the can, spraying it in Ion’s eyes for the DQ at 3:52.

Rating: C. Just ok here but I guess it allows them to have a rematch at the PPV. I mean, we didn’t need to see the match for the first time on PPV or anything so we can just show part of it here right? Anyway, not much of a match due to the time. Also with this win, Aries officially has the longest title reign in the history of the X Title.

Mr. Parks talks to Velvet and apparently he’s Abyss’ brother. The family is looking for Abyss and Velvet thinks it was kind of creepy.

Here’s Ray to say that he’s the guy who knocked Storm’s brains out last week. He demands that Sting come out here and make him the #1 contender. Here’s Sting who asks what Ray wants. Ray keeps saying Bobby Roode so Sting says…..ok and it’s after the break. Ray is stunned but happy.

After a break, Sting says that this isn’t a title match but I don’t think Ray knows that.

Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode

Ray yells a lot and they lock up. Roode grabs a headlock but a shoulder runs him over. The champ slaps Ray and looks all terrified. He fires off some kicks and elbows but walks into a backdrop and side slam for two. Ray wins a quick slugout but Roode hits something close to his Blockbuster for two. Bully makes a face comeback and hits a Rock Bottom for two. Big boot misses and Roode spears him down for two. Roode goes for the chain but Ray knocks Roode down in the corner. And here’s Storm to chase Ray off. He superkicks Roode and it’s thrown out at roughly 6:30.

Rating: C. Ray’s face comeback in there was kind of weird. He’s one of those heels that is working very well but the Impact Zone is screwing it up by cheering him as they do with everyone else. The match wasn’t much but with about six minutes and no real finish, what else could they really do?

Garrett is confident about his partner.

Abyss’ brother talks to Morgan/Crimson but can’t get any answers. They have the Robs tonight.

Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Robbie T/Robbie T

They’re in matching pink cardigans. This is for the #1 contendership. Crimson and Big Rob start and Crimson takes over. The referee gets distracted though and the clipboard goes upside Crimson’s head to put him in peril. Big Rob poses too long, allowing Crimson to avoid a shot and bring in Morgan. House is cleaned, Carbon Footprint hits but Crimson tags himself in to steal the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here at all but it furthered the big guys having issues which is the issue going into the title match. I’m sure it’ll lead to Morgan vs. Crimson again eventually which isn’t something that I’m going to get behind but it’s logical at least. Nothing here though and it was a formality.

AJ has a surprise for Kaz and Daniels.

Angle and Gunner aren’t worried about Garrett and he’s going to the hospital.

Here’s AJ to a big reaction. He talks about the tenth anniversary coming up and how they’re here because of the people. Daniels cuts him off and says he came back to stand by AJ’s side. However that got him nowhere so he decided to make it about himself. Kaz says that AJ is talking about all of the people that have turned on him so Kaz says that maybe it’s AJ that is the problem. That can’t be though, because he’s the Phenomenal AJ Styles so it COULDN’T be him right? AJ says Kaz is the reason he won’t associate himself with friends anymore. Now he’ll associate with a real….what’s the word he’s thinking of here?

Cue Anderson (now with his catchphrase instead of his name being shouted) to clear the ring. He’s back.

Garrett’s partner is ready.

From what I’ve seen, apparently Joe Parks is Abyss sans mask. I knew he looked familiar.

Gunner/Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff/???

It’s Jeff Hardy, shocking no one. Garrett is in the main event for the first time. For those of you paying attention, he’s now associated with Hogan, Flair, Sting, Angle and Hardy. Behold the power of nepotism people. Angle and Gunner jump them to start and it’s Hardy vs. Angle to get us going. Hardy takes a beating but manages to get a clothesline to take Angle down for about 20 seconds.

Off to Gunner as Garrett can’t get in yet. Back with Hardy taking a beating from Angle. Gunner comes in for a back elbow for two and it’s off to Angle again. Anderson vs. Daniels next week. Out to the floor and Gunner rams Jeff into the steel. Back in Jeff dives for the corner but gets caught in an ankle lock. He makes the rope and Gunner comes back in with a suplex for two.

Gunner hooks a sleeper as we’re running low on time. Jeff gets up and hits a Whisper in the Wind to put Gunner down but Angle distracts Garrett. It prevents a tag (kind of, as the referee wouldn’t have been there anyway) and Angle pulls Jeff back into the corner. And never mind as Jeff makes the tag a second later anyway. Gunner cleans house and hits a falling Diamond Cutter (Angle lands the same but he would be on Garrett’s back. Garrett fell forward if that makes more sense) on Kurt for two. Everything breaks down and the Swanton pins Kurt clean at 14:31.

Rating: C. Main event tag formula was at work here, but dang man did we really need to have Garrett in this spot on the card? He didn’t really do much at least which is probably a good thing. Jeff vs. Angle was a second story here but it didn’t get the focus that Garrett did. Anyway at least it wasn’t horrible.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a step down for them. We had a show with the world champion in action, two title matches (one with a title change) and a return of a former world champion, but Garrett Bischoff was in the main event. Other than that, the show was just kind of there. Stuff happened (without being advertised in advance of course) but nothing really that huge. Anderson is back and is thrown into AJ vs. Daniels so it doesn’t really mean much. Not a horrible show but it didn’t click like they were shooting for.

Results
Eric Young/ODB b. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne – Eric fell on Gail after being hit with a title belt
Zema Ion b. Austin Aries via DQ when Aries sprayed hairspray in Ion’s eyes
Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Carbon Footprint to Robbie E

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 5, 2012
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We have four Raws to go before Wrestlemania and tonight’s is star studded to say the least. We have Rock, HHH, Undertaker and Shawn scheduled to be on the show tonight so there’s definitely an old school feel to it. Other than that I’d expect more build to the PPV as almost everything is set in stone by this point. That’s probably a good thing though. Let’s get to it.

Teddy Long is in charge tonight.

Here’s Shawn to open the show. He says he loves hearing the HBK chant now because it allows him to catch his breath because he can’t move around that well anymore. Shawn talks about how things got heated with him and HHH but that’s all over because now the match is on. He asks HHH to come out here. Here’s the Game and they hug. Shawn reminds HHH of all the things that he said last week and even said he called HHH a coward, somehow getting away with it.

Something must have changed HHH’s mind and Shawn has to know what it was. HHH doesn’t look happy. The fans chant for Undertaker. HHH starts to talk but Shawn cuts him off as he wants to see the moment HHH agreed to the match with his buddy. We see the clip and of HHH agreeing after Taker said Shawn is better. HHH starts to talk again but Shawn cuts him off. It was saying Shawn was better that set HHH off.

HHH says he left Shawn a voicemail about this but if we need to do this in front of the world so be it. HHH says this isn’t about which of them is better. He’s tired of hearing people talk about how Shawn couldn’t get the job done. He’s tired of people calling Shawn a failure who was never as good as he thought he was. HHH is his best friend and the guy that believes that Shawn is the best ever. HHH is going to end the Streak to shut those people up about Shawn. How would that shut them up exactly? Shawn is a little offended by this and says HHH will lose again. Oh, AND HE’S GUEST REFEREE.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Ace and Otunga come out almost immediately. Santino loads up the Cobra but Ace distracts, allowing Ziggler to interfere and Swagger hits the gutwrench powerbomb…for two? Cue Teddy with Kofi and we go to a break. The portion we saw lasted about a minute and I’m assuming it was thrown out. Amazingly enough it’s not a tag match yet! Teddy and Ace get in a fight almost immediately as Ziggler interferes AGAIN. Kofi smacks him so Ziggler gets a Cobra. Vickie avoids one so Aksana gets in a fight with her. Santino counters the Cobra into the ankle lock as Teddy knocks Ace down. Santino counters the ankle lock into a rollup AND WINS THE TITLE AT 6:30!!!!! I’m legit shocked.

Rating: D+. The match was an overbooked mess but it was awesome. I’m not a Santino fan at all but it’s not like the title means anything on Swagger. The title died the minute Ryder lost it so putting it on Santino is just fine. I’m glad they didn’t turn this into a tag match as it gave me a legit surprise.

Ace freaks out but Teddy says this is his show and throws Ace out. Santino, Kofi, Aksana and Teddy all do the Trombone.

Rock is in Boston and he’s got a history lesson for Cena. This is filmed on location earlier in the day. He talks about how the British were in people of Boston’s faces every day. Then in 1773, the Boston people threw the tea in the ocean and called it the Boston Tea Party. So tonight, Rock is going to throw some of Cena’s stuff in the ocean. He has a bunch of merchandise. “John Cena midget shorts. Who would buy these things? They’re an insult to midgets. The John Cena garden gnome. There’s a man somewhere with one of these in his garden. And he’s a virgin.” Rock is coming to start the Rock Revolution tonight.

Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox

Kelly is on commentary and talking about being nominated for a Kids’ Choice Award. Rollup, 34 seconds.

Post match cue RYDER to a big pop. He can at least walk now. Broskis before Hoeskis.

Post break Eve tries to apologize to Ryder and kisses him. She walks off smiling and Ryder seems to fall for it.

We cut to earlier today with Cena alone in the arena. I’ve always liked shots like that. He talks about Wrestlemania and how it’ll be full of moments. With everything that’ll be happening, all eyes will be on two men and one match. He talks about how Boston is now being the city of champions after being the city of broken hearts for so long. Cena talks about them losing the Super Bowl to the Giants but no one remembers second place. If he loses, he’s just another name in Rock’s book. But if he wins, it’s the biggest match ever and no one remembers second place.

CM Punk/Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan

Smackdown has made me loathe these main event style tags. You know, Bryan has looked like a complete afterthought in his feud. The two of them haven’t interacted at all that I remember. They’ve probably been in the ring together a few times but it’s been nothing significant. Jericho and Punk start and Chris is knocked to the corner very quickly. Off to Bryan and Sheamus with Sheamus beating on him like he stole something. Clothesline gets two.

Back to the starters with Jericho getting in a shot to the ribs which are still hurt from last week. We take a break and come back with Punk coming up out of a hold, only to get side slammed. They’re really pushing the social media tonight, reading tweets from “fans”. Off to Sheamus who hits the Irish Curse for two on Jericho. Jericho gets his springboard dropkick to take over and Sheamus is down.

Jericho hooks a chinlock but misses a running knee in the corner. Double tag to Punk and Bryan and Punk springboards in, hurting his back in the process. He comes back with one arm though and manages to slam Bryan and hit the elbow. Everything breaks down and Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross on Bryan but Jericho saves. I can’t keep up with all this. Jericho goes for the Walls on Punk but Punk counters to a small package but Jericho counters into one of his own for the pin at 10:57.

Rating: C. See, this one helps as it actually gives us a new wrinkle in this story. Jericho has a pin over Punk now so the title is in some more jeopardy. That’s a big perk as until then, it was Jericho trying to make Punk tap which just wasn’t going to happen. Not a bad match either with Punk’s top notch selling helping a lot.

Off to Paul Revere’s statue. Rock wants to know what would happen if Cena was riding instead of Revere. We’d all be having tea and blessing the Queen. Rock would have to invent a time machine and go back to 1776 to beat up Cena. With the Flux Capacitor smoking, the Rock, 25% black, 25% Samoan and 50% Clydesdale, Ben Franklin would say forget you kite, THIS MAN invented electricity. We get Rock’s version of Yankee Doodle involving a feather going into John Cena and calling it a jabroni. Hilarious stuff.

Big Show vs. The Miz

Miz immediately hits the floor and Cody is on the ramp. He says there’s nothing worse than embarrassment. There’s no clip this week, because at Mania 18, Show was at the WWE restaurant in New York instead of having a match. Miz jumps Show but is speared down and the WMD gets the pin at 2:00, about 1:40 of which was Cody talking/the clip.

Time for the third Rock history lesson. He’s in front of the Massachusetts State House and talks about how the revolution lead to the birth of a new nation. The people have been waiting for ten years for Rock to overthrow John Cena and tonight, Rock is in the Garden.

Undertaker will confront Shawn next week.

Kane vs. R-Truth

Truth talks about Little Jimmy a bit before the match. Truth attacks him in the corner to start and gets beaten down quickly. He gets in a few punches but the axe kick misses. Chokeslam gets the pin at 1:23.

As soon as Kane does the corner fire, here’s Orton. Truth grabs Kane’s foot so Orton can hit the RKO. He wants a mic and says it’s good to be back.

Here’s Cena for the big closing number. He says the place is pumped and he knows why. The Rock is back. He means the real Rock, the one he needs to face at Wrestlemania. Rock has been giving history lessons all day and it’s exciting. But if you get through all of the theatrics, what is Rock really saying? He’s obsessed with breakfast cereal, he’s obsessed with how Cena looks, and talks about how many women he’s slept with. Am I fighting Rock or Situation from Jersey Shore?

Last week Rock was shaken by what Cena said and that’s never happened before. Cena says look at me. He looks ridiculous. He’s wearing kneepads to talk to you people tonight, but this is what shook the Rock. But tonight Rock has his swagger back. He wants to see The Rock in this ring right now. Not Dwayne, but The Rock. Cue Rock and Cena is even more fired up.

Rock says he’s never been shaken and unconfident. When you strip everything away, at the Rock’s core, Rock is 6’4, 260lbs of man that is going to rip Cena’s throat out. At Cena’s core, he’ll always be a little boy. And that’s it? Rock leaves with that and Cena says that doesn’t intimidate him one bit.

In a brilliant bit, Cena reads Rock’s height and weight off his arm. Rock can rip his throat out and he’s going to have to do just that to beat him. Cena says he’ll make history at Wrestlemania when he wins and that’s it. Cena dives into the fans to end the show. I’m assuming that’s his family or something. He hugs his dad and apparently the rest of his family. Cena’s wife is shown on camera and is really pretty.

Overall Rating: A. I love and hate Wrestlemania time. It gives us great episodes like this one but it also reminds you of how bad the rest of the year can be. The key word for tonight would be smart. Everything had a point and made sense, which is arguably the most important thing a wrestling show can do. I’m fired up for Wrestlemania and that’s hitting at the right time. Great show tonight and I want to see more.

Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Eve Torres b. Alicia Fox – Rollup
Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk/Sheamus – Small package to Punk
Big Show b. The Miz – WMD
Kane b. R-Truth – Chokeslam

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Smackdown
Date: March 2, 2012
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Orton is back tonight and he’s facing Daniel Bryan after Bryan gave him the concussion that put him out. I don’t remember if I ever heard how legit that injury was. Anyway, that’s the main event and it should be good, but I’d be shocked if we got a clean finish to it. Expect more of the Bryan vs. Sheamus build as well as some more Ace vs. Long stuff. Let’s get to it.

We open with what looks more like a commercial for the show than an opening video. It’s about the main event.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is bronchitis.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show. He says he’s thinking about Wrestlemania and being in front of over 80,000 members of the WWE Universe. FANS. THEY’RE CALLED FANS. When did that become a dirty word? I know “Members of the WWE Universe” has been their term for it for years now, but why is fans such a bad thing to say? Anyway he can’t wait to face Bryan. Bryan has become a changed man since he won the title, just like Sheamus did two years ago.

When Sheamus won his first world title, he became wrapped up in his own ego. However, he was lucky. He should have known that the WWE Title was the greatest trophy he could have earned. He became a bully instead though. You mean like he was before he won the title? What Sheamus needed was for someone to knock his block off. Bryan needs the same thing.

This brings out Vickie and Dolph for some reason. She liked his story but her favorite part was when Sheamus stopped talking. Ziggler says the people deserve to see him in the main event, not Sheamus. He says Sheamus’ hair is on fire. Sheamus says that joke is as old as Dolph’s grandmother Vickie. For some reason this leads to Vickie talking about Ace/Teddy and saying she’s the only non-McMahon to be GM of both shows. Teddy comes out and makes Dolph vs. Sheamus right now. I liked Sheamus’ promo here. He’s not the best talker in the world so keeping it simple is something that works well for him.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

The match is joined in progress after a break but it doesn’t look like we’ve missed much. There was an ad talking about how Ace will run Smackdown next week so the announcers talk about that for awhile. Ziggler hits a dropkick but Sheamus keeps smiling. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the back and the ten in the ropes. The fans clearly really like Sheamus but they’ve given him no character development at all. It’s a lost art in WWE anymore.

Ziggler goes to the floor. Booker says stay on your bicycle Dolph. There’s an image for you, complete with Benny Hill music. Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker coming back in to take over. Another neckbreaker gets two so Dolph drops some elbows for the same result. Sheamus fights out of a chinlock and hits his power shots to come back. Powerslam gets two. Ziggler locks on a sleeper but Sheamus powers out of it by ramming Ziggler into the corner and out to the floor.

Dolph comes off the top but jumps into the Irish Curse. It gets two as Vickie puts the foot on the ropes. Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross (Sheamus’, not Finlay’s). Irish Curse The Sequel gets two. Sheamus pounds his chest and shouts Brogue so Vickie calls out Swagger. The Kick takes him down but Ziggler hits a Fameasser. That only gets two so he tries the Zig Zag. Sheamus holds the ropes and catches Ziggler in the new finisher which is now called the White Noise.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here with Sheamus continuing to roll over the upper midcard. Since they’re not going to give him and Bryan a concrete story, this works as well as anything else. Also it makes Sheamus look a lot stronger going into the PPV. At the end of the day though, he needs to pin Orton clean to really make himself look like the top challenger on Smackdown and I’m not sure I can see that. The other problem is that Bryan needs to be made to look strong also and I don’t think that’s going to happen.

We recap the Bryan vs. Punk stuff from Raw with the Battling Bosses.

Ace and Otunga are in Teddy’s office when Teddy comes in. Ace wants an apology for the attack by Teddy on Raw. Apparently Ace has a bad back now and its because of Teddy. Otunga is considering a civil suit against Teddy. Ace says an apology will do instead. Teddy says no because it made Ace look like “a cow on ice crossed with Sesame Street Big Bird.” Otunga vs. Khali on Monday. Ace suggests Teddy try yoga.

Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella

Santino attacks to start but the headbutt lands on knees. The announcers talk about Ace and Teddy. Cole: “See how tough he is?” Booker: “He used to have a skateboard. That’s how tough he is.” Anyway, Slater hits a Harlem Side Kick for two. He goes up but gets crotched and the Cobra ends it at 1:53.

Video on HHH vs. Undertaker, the same from Raw. The match simply isn’t as good as they’re trying to make it out to be. It’s very good. It’s a great match. It’s not this masterpiece that they’re pushing it as.

Natalya yells at Eve about Zach. Eve goes off on her about it and guess what Natalya winds up doing. You either want the Divas to be serious or you don’t. Pick one.

Natalya vs. Eve Torres

Natalya controls with a headlock and Booker has a thing for Eve. Now Booker diagnoses Natalya’s stomach issues. Eve slaps her so Natalya takes her down and pounds on her. Eve reverses a rollup into one of her own for the pin at 1:32.

Here’s Cody who has held the title for a very long time. If my math is right, if he holds the title until April 10, he’ll have held if for the longest reign since Rock’s in 97/98. Cody talks about Big Show’s Wrestlemania losses and shows some stills from the Akebono and Mayweather matches. Cody says Show should be thanking him for keeping Show out of Wrestlemania because Show would just floudner again. He’s got another Wrestlemania clip but Show cuts him off.

Cody runs into the crowd as soon as Show gets to the ring. Show says hang on a second. He wanted to watch the new clip with Cody like friends. Since Cody won’t come back though, Show better go get Cody. Cue Teddy who says hang on a minute. This isn’t Pamplona, Spain and Show can’t be running into the crowd like a bull. Show vs. Cody for the title is announced for Wrestlemania. That’s the second time the IC Title will be on the line at Mania since 2002.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Show takes him down to start but Henry fights back and clotheslines Show to the floor. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate as Show is sent into the timekeeper’s area. He gets back to the apron at 8 but Henry rams him into the exposed buckle as we take a break. Back with Henry pounding him down and Cody on commentary. Back to the floor and Henry rams Show’s back into the post.

With Show still against the post, Mark throws the steps at him. Since that would result in probable death, Show moves. Henry knocks him down again and hits a Vader Bomb for two. Show hits a superkick and a “spear” (it was a shoulder block) to take Henry down. Show sets for the chokeslam but gets caught in the Slam for two. So long Henry, hope you enjoyed your time in the main event. Henry charges into the corner but walks into the WMD for the pin at 5:22 shown of 8:52.

Rating: C-. It’s such a shame to see someone like Henry who has raised his game so much over the last six months and shocked the world by becoming a legit world champion to be sent down to this because of the way the WWE main event pushes work. Instead of going and feuding with a midcard face, they need to have him against other top good guys and losing, making his whole summer of dominance seem like it was nothing at all. Such is life in the WWE anymore.

Teddy tells Drew if he loses he’s fired. Again.

Orton says he’s back to normal, which means angry and wanting revenge. Bryan decided to pay the price and tonight Orton is going to collect.

Drew McIntyre vs. Justin Gabriel

Drew starts by blocking a kick and getting a clothesline for two. Another spin kick misses and Drew hits a big boot for two. Into the corner but Drew’s tilt-a-whirl slam is countered into a DDT. Gabriel goes up and hits the 450 for the pin at 1:44. Justin hit two moves the whole match.

Teddy pops up on screen and fires Drew. At least until next week when Ace rehires him because he sees a lot of potential in him or something. They mentioned that Ace discovered Drew and brought him to WWE in the first place during the match.

We get ALL of Rock and Cena from Monday. The version I watch is divided into 6 fifteen minute parts. I literally skipped all of part 5 because of this. There was NOTHING in there they could clip?

Daniel Bryan says he hasn’t changed since he won the title. He’s still the same down to Earth person who was born and raised in Aberdeen, Washington. However he moved to Vegas as soon as possible. He calls himself a role model and talks about how he beat Giant and Henry in a cage and five others in the Elimination Chamber.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

The fans are split on Bryan. Orton sends him to the floor quickly and throws Bryan into things. He sends Bryan into the steps and kicks Bryan’s head into them. Back in Orton loads up a superplex but Bryan shoves him off and takes over. Knee to the head gets two as we take a break. Back with Bryan working over the arm and shoulder. Booker says that he’ll never call Bryan D-Bry again. Bryan stays on the shoulder but Orton hits a dropkick to get some seperation.

Booker runs down AJ now, calling Bryan her meal ticket. Is AJ really a heel, or does she just associate with one? I’m not exactly sure. The dropkick gets two. Bryan kicks him in the shoulder so Orton throws him into the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered twice and Bryan heads to the floor. Orton follows him and loads up the Elevated DDT on the floor….but here’s Kane. Didn’t see that one coming. The bell rings, presumably for a countout since Kane hasn’t touched anyone, at 6:30 shown of 10:00.

Rating: C. Well we knew it wasn’t going to be a clean finish. I’d assume this is going to set up Kane vs. Orton at Wrestlemania. That’s a feud I’ve always wanted to see as I’m a fan of both guys. It’s as good as anything else they’re going to get and it gives them both something to do. The match was just ok though as they didn’t have the time to get anything good going.

Orton goes straight at Kane for no apparent reason. Kane might have been coming to ask Booker if he wanted to buy some Girl Scout cookies. They go into the ring but Kane is clotheslined to the floor. He pulls Orton out and they brawl on the floor for a bit. Back inside and Orton’s shoulder goes into the post. A chokeslam puts Randy down and Kane wants a mic. He says welcome back Randy and that’s it.

Ace says it’s Kane vs. Aksana next week.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot. This is more the Smackdown style: steady as it goes and set up matches for the PPV. Here we set up the IC Title match, Kane vs. Orton and they furthered the Smackdown world title match. With four weeks to go until the PPV, that’s a pretty solid show as far as building to the PPV. I could have done without 1/6 of the show being about Cena vs. Rock though. They could have cut that down to about five minutes and it would have been fine. Better show than most recent ones here though.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – White Noise
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra
Eve Torres b. Natalya – Rollup
Justin Gabriel b. Drew McIntyre – 450 Splash
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton went to a double countout

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re getting closer to Victory Road but we have three Impacts to get through first. That PPV is really just a stop on the road to Lockdown though as the main event may not even be for the title. It needs to happen though so we can get through the Sting vs. Roode issues because until that match happens, that feud is going to overshadow the Storm vs. Roode match at Lockdown. Let’s get to it.

Little warning here: I’ve been sick all week and I’m on some strong medicine so this might be a little weaker than usual.

We open with a recap of the end of the show from last week with Sting going insane on Roode.

Angle has a list of cue cards as to why he hates Jeff Hardy and why he attacked him.

We get a theme song. That hasn’t happened in how long?

Here’s Angle to explain why he attacked Jeff Hardy. He has cue cards. First of all, Jeff has hair. It’s rainbow colored but that doesn’t make him a champion. Number two: the way Jeff dresses. Third, fans want Jeff’s autograph more than Angle’s. Fourth: girls like Jeff more than him.

The biggest reason though: he has over 100 different action figures, posters and t-shirts. At night though, he sees Jeff Hardy posters in his son’s room and steps on Jeff Hardy action figures. His son wears Jeff Hardy t-shirts and he has makeup on with purple hair, “and he wears freaking socks on his arms.” Kurt’s face when he said that last line made me laugh. Jeff comes out and Angle challenges him to a match at Victory Road. Hardy jumps him and has to be pulled off.

Roode complains about Sting a bit when Austin Aries came up. He talks about how he tweeted his issues with Sting and compares himself to Roode. Roode seems to be accepting of this and asks if Aries has five minutes to talk. They go for a chat.

AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

This is a gauntlet match and AJ starts with Daniels. AJ says if he wins, he wants to know what Daniels has over Kaz. Daniels says that they don’t have to listen to AJ but then he changes his mind quickly and says yes. AJ goes after Daniels and hammers away to start. Back inside and AJ takes him down with a clothesline. Some suplexes set up a backbreaker for two. AJ has to keep yelling at Kaz as we take a break.

Back with AJ coming back from something with elbows into the ribs. He tries to float over coming out of the corner but walks into an elbow for two. AJ comes back and hits the springboard forearm for no cover. He loads up the Clash but Daniels avoids it. An STO puts AJ down….and Kaz comes in to hit AJ with the Fade to Black. That’s a DQ loss for Daniels but Kaz immediately pins him to win it at 9:48. Smart.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t that great but I’m interested in seeing where this goes. Hopefully it leads to more AJ vs. Kaz than AJ vs. Daniels but it’s some kind of law that those two have to feud every year. I liked this for the most part, but the lack of originality in this feud gets old quick.

Madison sucks up to Gail in the back. Gail has gotten them a spa day this weekend, but first Madison has to beat ODB.

ODB vs. Madison Rayne

ODB controls to start with the power game. Madison is in blue here, making her more gorgeous than usual. Madison gets in some offense but it’s nothing all that great. ODB comes back again to beat her down as Eric takes his shirt off. The Bam is countered as Gail brings in a belt. It doesn’t happen though as The Bam gets the pin at 2:58.

Ray rants about last week when Roode comes up and says that was funny. Aries is with Roode and they convince Ray that it’s Sting’s fault that Brandon Jacobs was here. They recruit Roode who seems to accept their offer.

Velvet gets in a fight with Angelina.

Garrett gets into it with Flair, Gunner and Eric. A challenge is made for next week for Garrett to show up or not.

Here are Aries, Roode and Ray. Roode says he’s awesome but Sting isn’t an active wrestler anymore. You don’t put your hands on the champ and at Victory Road it’s going to be a beating. Ray says he has great calves. He blames Storm for things but says its all Sting’s fault. It was Sting that let Brandon Jacobs comes in and put him through a table. It was Sting that caused him the embarrassment. Aries says Sting is one of those people that can’t let it go because the three of them are better than him. He wants to know why he’s not in a main event. They all say they’re done and sit down in the ring.

The lights go out and Sting is in the ring too, freaking all three of them out. He wants to have a chat with them. Aries says he really is done but Roode doesn’t like the idea of losing his title if he’s really done. The same is true of the X Title. As for Ray, he’ll get his finger bitten off if it goes in Sting’s face again. No job means no paycheck so they’ll all stick around. The main event is a six man with these three against Storm/Magnus/Joe. The lights go out and Sting is gone.

Video on Sorensen’s recovery.

Ion says he’ll break more necks if he has to.

Zema Ion vs. Shannon Moore

Moore controls with speed to start and they head to the floor. Ion hits a clothesline to take over, followed by a missile dropkick back inside. A neckbreaker gets two and Ion goes up. Whatever he’s going to try is countered by a top rope rana by Moore which gets two. Moonsault press misses and Ion hits his belly to back flip into the facebuster for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: C. Quick match here to keep the heat on Ion. This double heel thing is interesting but I’m not sure if I can see Ion taking the title off Aries. Moore is filling in for Sorensen I guess which is ok but I’ve never cared for him. Anyway, decent match but it’s nothing all that good for the most part.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Sarita/Angelina Love

Velvet goes after Angelina to start as we hear about Madonna and the founder of Girls Gone Wild feuding. Mickie comes in and snaps off a rana for two. Out to the floor where Sarita hits a nice dive. Mickie gets beaten down for awhile until she manages to hang Angelina over the top and makes the tag to Velvet. Everything breaks down and the top rope Thesz Press takes Mickie and Sarita to the floor. Velvet wins with her sitout Pedigree to Angelina at 5:51.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match and as usual, far and away better than the Divas. It’s nice to see girls that look like they know what they’re doing instead of having to stumble through whatever they’ve been taught to do in their 90 second match of the week. I’m not sure how much we needed two Knockout matches on a show but this was fine.

Storm/Crimson/Joe say they’re ready.

We look back at Abyss disappearing at Genesis. His family hasn’t seen him since.

Bully Ray/Robert Roode/Austin Aries vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe/James Storm

So Joe is a face again? I’ll have to keep that in mind when it gets confusing again in a few weeks. Magnus and Aries start things off. Aries takes him to the mat quickly but can’t reach up high enough for a test of strength. He cartwheels away from Magnus so Magnus takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to Roode and Storm wants in. Storm comes in and Roode runs as we take a break.

Back with Ray hammering on Storm in the corner. The announcers talk about Kobe Bryant having a concussion. The commentary is being recorded later now so they can be more up to date. As long as it doesn’t turn into a bunch of pop culture references that’s a good idea. Anyway Joe gets the tag and the big men go at it. Joe takes over and suplexes Aries too.

Magnus comes in and the tag champs speed things up. Roode and Storm come in again and the champ runs one more time. Aries gets beaten on instead as Joe does the always cool walk away to avoid contact. He loads up the MuscleBuster but Roode makes the save. Ray comes in to beat on Joe as he somehow plays Ricky Morton. Talk about miscasting. Taz talks about the Knockouts so Tenay yells at him.

The triple beating continues with Roode hitting a Hennig necksnap and Aries hitting a modified elbow to the back. Aries rams Joe’s head into Ray’s calves which doesn’t do much. All three heels take turns on Joe but Roode runs into a release Rock Bottom in the corner and there’s the tag to Storm. House is cleaned until ray gets in some offense on him. Everything breaks down and the tag champs hit their finisher on Aries. A lot of finishers are hit and the Last Call gets the pin on Roode at 16:50.

Rating: B-. This was a formula tag match but it worked quite well for the main event of a TV show. It pushes Storm vs. Roode which is a good thing and it offered some fresh faces out there. That’s a nice change of pace and it’s nice to see some young faces in there instead of the old ones being cycled in again.

Ray beats down everyone to close the show, saying he’s the real #1 contender.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show for the most part. It didn’t really set up much for Victory Road but there’s still a lot of time before then so it’s not a huge issue. The wrestling here was pretty good, although I could have gone with only one of the Knockout matches instead of two. Still though, good show as has become the norm since Russo is out of the picture.

Results
Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Fade To Black
ODB b. Madison Raine – The Bam
Zema Ion b. Shannon Moore – Flipping Facebuster
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Sarita – Sitout Facebuster to Love
James Storm/Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Last Call to Roode

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Teddy is running Raw and Ace is running Smackdown. I’m not entirely sure what this solves but it mixes things up a bit.

Edit: Apparently this is just for a week. So much for it meaning anything.

Thoughts on this?

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2012
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main thing to see tonight is that Rock is back (again). We’re scheduled to get his response to Cena’s promo from last week. This should be the start of the serious part of their feud as opposed to the stupid comments that Rock has made over the past year which have been based on comedy rather than the desire to see a fight. Let’s get to it.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Nice to see another match getting the proper build. Saving something for PPV? What does that mean? Punk comes out first but Jericho comes out instead of Bryan. He says Punk is one of his favorites but Punk isn’t as good as he is. Jericho never had to say he was the best in the world because everyone else said it for him. He talks about how he didn’t care what people said backstage because he knew he’d have the best match on the card.

Punk yells at Jericho, talking about how Jericho didn’t invent everything in wrestling. Did he invent being from Canada? Jericho says Punk doesn’t take anything seriously but he needs to do it with Jericho, because he’s something different. Punk goes off on Jericho again, talking about he’s been here talking about he knows he’s the best and has been here swimming with sharks while Jericho was off Dancing With The Stars. Jericho says he’s still the best and while he was off doing all that stuff, all he was thinking about was Punk and proving that he’s the best in the world.

Oh yeah we’ve got a match to get to. Bryan comes out and jumps Punk. Ace, Otunga, Long and Santino are all at ringside. The bell will officially ring after a break. Back with Brian firing off kicks in the corner but Punk hits a cross body out of the corner for two. Teddy and Ace are on commentary here so Cole sucks up to Ace. Punk comes back with knees to the back for two. He backdrops Bryan to the floor and sets to dive, but Bryan calls AJ over to tend to him.

The distraction lets Bryan take Punk’s knee out and send him into the steps. We take another break (pretty fast no?) and come back with Bryan holding an abdominal stretch. We missed the ending from last week with Punk almost winning off a superplex with the interlocking legs. Punk hits the knee in the corner but he bulldog is countered. He slams Bryan down and hits the top rope elbow but his ribs are too hurt to cover.

Otunga tries to interfere but Punk kicks him down. LeBell Lock is countered and Otunga gets up again. The wrestlers hit stereo cross bodies as Santino knocks Otunga down. Ace pulls Santino down as Bryan is walking out. Sheamus throws him back in and Punk hits the GTS. Ace says that’s a DQ and the bell rings at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have the time to be anything good and was more about setting up Smackdown vs. Raw at Wrestlemania than the match itself. Clearly they needed to use the world titles against each other to accomplish this too right? The match again didn’t have a clean ending which is good, but it’s having these potential main event matches for free on TV that makes PPV matches less important.

Punk poses on the stage when Jericho runs out and beats him up. He slams Punk on the stage and puts him in the Liontamer.

We get a video on HHH vs. Undertaker from last year with testimonials from big names and The Miz saying how amazing it was. IT WASN’T THAT GOOD!

Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki slams her into the mat to start and does a Hennig neck snap. Kelly does her screaming headscissors and kicks the other Bella down. She reverses a rollup to pin Nikki at 1:30. Your usual Divas stuff.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz says that no one works harder than he does and how he’s flown 16 hours to do PR in Russia. For some reason though he isn’t even on the card for Wrestlemania yet. What better way to show why he should be on it than by beating the guy that he beat in the main event last year? Miz escapes a quick AA attempt and hits his usual stuff to take over. Cena hits a backdrop and some clotheslines but walks into Miz’s short DDT for two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz goes up, but misses his top rope ax handle. Cena starts up his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle. AA and STF end this at 4:04.

Rating: D+. Miz gets crushed. Again. This is the problem with most upper midcard guys anymore: there’s no way to get them taken seriously because they’re always against a big star on TV and half the time they have to lose. Maybe they shouldn’t have these matches on free TV? Nah that’s crazy talk.

Rock pops up on screen and does the You Can’t See Me sign.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Ok then. This is actually more like the WCW Triangle matches where you have three people in the ring at once. You can only tag your partner though. Kofi, Dolph and Primo start us off but Ziggler chills on the floor. Things break down quickly and now there’s no one in the ring. Kofi and Swagger fall to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Primo, Swagger and Truth in the ring and Swagger breaking up a Truth sunset flip. Swagger and Primo get in an argument and it’s off to Ziggler. A great dropkick by Ziggler puts Truth down but Primo tries to steal the pin. Truth comes back and hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to both guys. A double tag prevents the tag to Kofi but Swagger gets in a fight with Epico, allowing the hot tag to Kofi.

He cleans house with his high flying stuff and gets two off the cross body. A double Boom Drop to one of each opponents but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag to break up the Trouble in Paradise. Swagger gets two off that and then grabs the ankle lock on Epico. Trouble in Paradise takes Swagger down and Primo hits a Backstabber on Kofi, allowing Epico to steal the pin to retain at 8:21.

Rating: C. Why in the world would you keep the titles on these guys? No one cares about them, they’re not particularly good and their matches are nothing special. Is this supposed to prove that they’re better than these two teams? Not having them lose clean to Kofi/Truth last week would have done the same thing.

Post match Kane comes out to clear the ring and beat up everyone in sight.

Ace and Otunga are in the back talking about the Oscars when Teddy comes in. Nothing to see here.

We recap the Eve heel turn and her wanting to use Cena.

Here’s Eve in the arena with new EVIL music. She says she doesn’t care that she uses people because it’s not her fault that men can’t resist her. The men should blame themselves for their weaknesses. And that’s it.

We see Eve in the back and Kelly messes up the whole thing with her awful acting. Alicia is next to Kelly for no apparent reason. Eve leaves them there.

Trailer for Edge’s new movie. Oh great. It’s a buddy comedy.

Orton is back on Smackdown to face Bryan.

Big Show/Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry

Henry isn’t allowed time off to heal is he? Cody shows us a clip from Mania where Show lost to Floyd Mayweather. Cody immediately tags Henry in and Show stomps him down to start. Show spears him down and glares at Cody who is on the ramp. Sheamus tags himself in and Brogue Kicks Henry down for the pin at 59 seconds.

The Board of Directors are going to announce something at 10am tomorrow and it might involve potential leadership changes on both shows.

We get a recap of Cena’s promo last week and Rock is up next.

Shawn will be on Raw next week.

Here’s Rock for the big response. The fans chant for him and he seems legit taken back by it. Rock says look at his arm which is real. He’s covered in goosebumps because this feels good. He says this might surprise some people, but he’s not here every week. Him saying he’d never leave didn’t mean that he’d be at Raw and Smackdown every week. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles.

Rock says he was born and raised in this business and is here for no reason other than because he loves the WWE. He’ll always be a part of it and it’ll always be a part of him. He finally says Cena’s name and the people boo. For years, Rock thought Cena was a phony. He didn’t think that someone who graduated from a private school could become the Doctor of Thuganomics. But then Rock realized that Cena really is that guy.

Cena said that it took forever to get to Rock but why, when he has Rock’s cell phone number. Instead of talking on the phone or in person though, Rock would rather slap him in the face with a piece of kung pow chicken. Last week Cena said that he’ll fight at Wrestlemania for all of the people in the back that love to be a professional wrestler. Rock grew up as one and he was always taught that no one was going to fight for himself but himself.

When he was climbing the ladders (he climbed ladders?) do you think anyone fought for him? Do you think anyone fought for Austin, Savage or Piper? Rock fights for the people, not the boys in the back. He says kung pow is now trending world wide. That made my eyes roll. Rock says the people aren’t tired of being entertained. That’s what he does: he entertains.

Rock says he mentioned Cena eating Fruity Pebbles and then a few months later, Cena was on a cereal box. He said lady parts and it was chanted. Now Rock leads them in chants of Rocky and lady parts. That’s what Rock does: he entertains. The most interesting thing Cena has done all year is change the kind of shorts he wears to camouflage. That’s been effective because we can’t find his balls anywhere. And cue Rock telling us that Cena’s missing balls is trending.

Cue Cena thank goodness. Cena says that only Rock could come up with calling someone kung pow chicken. He is the guy that talks Rock down because Rock isn’t here. However, Rock is only half right because Cena will run Rock down when Rock is here too. Cena used to love Rock too until he met Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne is self-centered and egotistical and Cena doesn’t need words trending on Twitter, or his promo printed on his wrist (which Rock apparently had).

At Wrestlemania, Cena is going to be looking into the eyes of Dwayne Johnson, not The Rock like everyone else will see. Cena says carry on and continue trending and leaves. Rock says that’s just like Cena to walk away before the right. Rock and Dwayne Johnson are the same person and he’ll be kicking Cena all over Wrestlemania, if you smell what he’s cooking. Rock sounded REALLY desperate after Cena left.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about Rock’s response to Cena and the rest of the show meant nothing. That being said, the rest of the show did nothing for me at all. It wasn’t a bad show or anything but nothing on it made me any more interested in the show than I already am. Punk and Jericho are going to have a good match but it’s going to mean nothing in the long run by comparison.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
John Cena b. The Miz – STF
Epico/Primo b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Epico pinned Swagger after Trouble in Paradise
Sheamus/Big Show b. Mark Henry/Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick to Henry

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

The interesting part of this show is that during the week since the last Impact, Sting sent out a tweet that read “I’m Done.” Now while it’s likely that this is just a storyline element for his presumed match with Roode at the PPV, it should be interesting to see where this goes. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of how Roode has cheated to keep the title every time.

Here’s Roode to open the show in an awesome looking suit. Roode talks about the tweet from Sting that says he’s done. Sting will be here tonight though to tell the world that he’s done. He talks about how Sting has been to war with guys like Luger, Flair, Vader and Hogan, but it was Roode that made Sting give up. The only thing he has to say to Sting is don’t let the door hit you on the way out. I liked this promo a lot.

Morgan yells at Crimson about spearing him to lose the titles. Crimson says it’ll be cool tonight.

Tag Titles: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

No break before the match which is a plus. The challengers jump the champs before the match and it’s Joe vs. Morgan to start. Off to Crimson vs. Magnus as Tenay plugs the MMA show that debuts after this. A running knee to the chest puts Magnus down and the overly complicated former finisher that he called the Red Alert gets two. Joe pulls Magnus out of the way so that Crimson hits the post as we take a break.

Back with Crimson’s comeback attempt being stopped by a rake to the eyes. A spinebuster puts Joe down though and is enough to bring in Magnus. Discus clothesline puts Joe down and it’s an old school double noggin knocker. Magnus gets a boot up in the corner but jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. The challengers take over but again Crimson accidentally hits Morgan, this time with a clothesline. The champs hit their finishing combo for the pin at 9:00.

Rating: C. Hopefully this ends this feud and we can start up Morgan vs. Crimson so we can get Crimson on to something else. He’s been stuck with Morgan for months now and it’s not doing either of them any favors. It’s good that the tag champs keep the belts here too so they can go on and do something else. Decent match too so I can’t complain much here at all.

Here’s Brandon Jacobs, the running back from the Giants. He talks about being a Super Bowl Champion and being here with his friend James Storm last week. Then Bully Ray jumped him during the celebration. Well tonight he’s back and he wants another shot at Bully. His talking really isn’t that bad. He clearly isn’t used to talking but he gets the point across and doesn’t sound like he’s miserable being here.

Cue Ray who brags about being a 23 time champion as opposed to Jacobs’ one. Jacobs isn’t saying anything but the fans cheer his name. He invites Ray in so Ray yells at the fans some more. Ray teases coming down but stops to make fun of Jacobs’ yards in the Super Bowl. Jacobs says he’ll come get Ray. He gets out of the ring and Ray runs as we go to a break.

Back and Jacobs is still looking for Ray. He runs into Storm and Hardy. Storm whispers something to him and that’s that.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Ion jumps Alex to start and sprays hairspray. Aries comes out with popcorn and wine to watch the show. Alex hits a sweet slingshot splash for two. Ion vs. Aries at Victory Road. Missile dropkick knocks Ion to the floor but he rams Shelley’s head into the apron to take over. Back in Alex hits a dragon screw leg whip and then he chops away. A clothesline puts Ion on the floor and Shelley hits a suicide dive. Ion puts the hairspray can into his tights and shoves Shelley almost into the ref. He sprays Alex in the eyes and a double knee Shining Wizard ends this at 3:56.

Rating: C. Not bad here but they’ve got an issue with the heel vs. heel title match that they’re going to have to do. That being said, it could actually work with Ion as he’s not really friends with Aries so it works out pretty well. It’s not going to be a classic or anything but it should be ok.

We recap Garrett/Hogan vs. Eric/Gunner from the PPV.

Garrett says he isn’t discouraged by what his dad said last week. Hogan questions if Garrett should keep going because Garrett has nothing to prove. It basically turns into Hogan saying your life will suck and Garrett saying he’ll keep going for a few minutes.

Madison says Sting hasn’t been fair to him so she hopes he’s gone. As for Gail, Madison being the #1 contender means nothing for their friendship.

Gail Kim vs. ODB

Eric is here with ODB. Gail implies she’s better looking than ODB and I can’t say I disagree. Eric gets up on the apron for a tag. ODB takes her down with a chest bump and Tenay talks about Chris Brown for some reason. There’s a bronco buster to Gail and a fall away slam. Gail tries to hold onto the ropes for mercy and manages to kick ODB in the head. Eric keeps trying to get in the ring because he’s crazy you see.

Now he’s on the apron and Gail hits kind of a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner for two. Gail hooks the Octopus Hold but ODB counters with a side slam. Madison comes out for no apparent reason as ODB takes a shot from the flask. A corner Thesz Press gets two but the Bam (TKO) is countered into Eat Defeat for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match here but the story of “I love you even though I keep screwing things up” is getting a little boring. Then again they’re still miles ahead of the Divas so I can’t complain. Not to mention ODB didn’t help anything as she and Eric don’t amuse me at all. Hey they’re wacky and different. We get it already and we got it months ago.

AJ wants the world title.

Video on Jesse Sorensen who talks about what it was like when he couldn’t get up. His mom talks about how scared she was.

TV Title: AJ Styles vs. Robbie E

AJ is all serious again. He rams Robbie into the corners and hits a backbreaker to control early. He hooks the bridging Indian Deathlock with the chinlock but lets it go. Robbie crawls to the floor and hides behind Big Rob. Back in Robbie takes over and hits a Russian legsweep for two. Robbie beats on him a little more until AJ makes his comeback. There’s the dropkick and AJ hits the corner clothesline to set up a pumphandle backbreaker for two. Big Rob comes in to break up the Clash but doesn’t touch AJ so we keep going. Pele hits and here are Daniels and Kaz with Kaz interfering for the DQ at 4:52.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY GET AJ AWAY FROM THESE TWO ALREADY!!! We get it: Daniels hates AJ and always will. I’m even ok with it being AJ vs. Kaz but drop the Daniels aspect. They’ve done that feud so many times and I just do not care anymore.

Daniels looks shocked at what Kaz just did.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bully Ray/Kurt Angle

Ray cuts off his big match intro and does it himself. Storm gets the crowd fired up pre match and brings out Jacobs to be in their corner. Storm and Angle start us off and James controls. Ray distracts him though and Angle gets in a shot to take over. Hardy comes in and Angle runs. Back from a break with Hardy gets two on Ray from the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy gets beaten down for awhile and we hear that AJ has demanded a gauntlet match with Kaz and Daniels.

Angle comes in and suplexes Hardy before he can get out. Back to Ray who gets caught by the mule kick and it’s off to Storm. He cleans house for a bit but Ray takes him down. They get a table but it gets kicked into their faces. The good guys try to set up a table but Ray and Angle make the save. Last Call out of nowhere takes Angle down and Jacobs gets in. They get in a three point stance and Storm hits Ray in the face. Jacobs chokeslams him through the table (good one too) and Storm gets the pin at 13:23. The referee is totally cool with this apparently.

Rating: C. I wasn’t wild on this one. I’m not wild on most main event tags though because they don’t really mean anything. Jacobs’ thing is hopefully over now but at least he came off pretty well here. I’m assuming it’ll be Hardy vs. Angle at Victory Road but it hasn’t been announced yet I don’t think.

Jacobs says Storm’s catchphrase to Ray and drinks some beer.

Here’s Sting for the announcement about him being done. He talks about how Roode has pushed him over the edge. Here’s Roode who says that Sting needs to admit to everyone that it was Roode that won the war. Sting says Roode didn’t win any war and there go the glasses. Sting says Roode helped him out and woke him up. He smears some black paint on his face and says that there’s no more half doing it and no more Mr. nice guy. He makes Sting vs. Roode at Victory Road and Roode is panicked. Roode goes to kick him low but Sting catches it and kicks Roode low instead.

Overall Rating: B. I have very few complaints about this show. They set up Sting vs. Roode at Victory Road among a few other matches on that show. Also the Jacobs thing was fine and there wasn’t a bad match on the whole show. This worked pretty well and was one of the better Impacts I can remember in awhile. Gee they got rid of Russo and things got better. Who would have guessed that?

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle Rope Elbow To Morgan
Zima Ion b. Alex Shelley – Double Knee Shining Wizard
Gail Kim b. ODB – Eat Defeat
AJ Styles b. Robbie E via DQ when Kazarian interfered
James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray/Kurt Angle – Storm pinned Ray after a chokeslam from Brandon Jacobs

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I get the question of who the face and who the heel is supposed to be in this match from time to time and I’ve come to my conclusion.I have no idea.  That’s the point of this feud.  With Cena, you’re going to have fans that see it both ways the entire time and are steadfast in their stances no matter what.  Half the fans are going to support Cena and half are going to support Rock.  That being said, there’s no reason to try to push one as the face and one as the heel.  Let the fans do what they want (novel concept I know) and see where it goes.  You don’t want to try to force things, and this is a match they can’t afford to screw up.

Smackdown
Date: February 21, 2012
Location: BMO Harris Bank Center, Rockford, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’re live tonight which was announced pretty quickly last night. The main event is Bryan vs. Punk II which will likely result in some run ins. Last night we had a good main event where Jericho got the world title shot. Other than half the roster winding up in the hospital, I thought it came off pretty well. These live shows are usually pretty good so hopefully they can continue that trend. Let’s get to it.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry again tonight. Why couldn’t Henry go in the Chamber again?

Here are Bryan and AJ to open the show. He says no one believed him no matter what he’s said but now he’s heading to the main event of Wrestlemania! As for Santino, he was trying to channel Rocky Balboa but Bryan is a role model who beat everyone on Sunday. Bryan says you all want Rocky, so YO AJ! I DID IT!!! The fans want Punk. Bryan talks about how Sunday was his moment but Sheamus ruined it. Well at Mania, Bryan is going to ruin Sheamus’ moment by being victorious.

Bryan keeps talking and here’s…..Miz? He can’t believe Bryan really is champion but Bryan is wrong. Miz believed that he’d become a world champion too and it’s because of his mentoring. He isn’t out here to steal the spotlight or for thanks. He’s here to offer his congratulations. Miz thinks that after Wrestlemania, they should form a tag team. Cue Sheamus to cut him off.

Sheamus congratulates Bryan, but for being a hypocrite. He’s no role model but rather just a coward. Bryan would rather hide behind a skirt than fight like a man. After Wrestlemania, everyone is going to say that Bryan got exactly what he deserved. Miz gets in Sheamus’ face and says that Sheamus should be taken down a notch or two. Sheamus says let the guys with a match at Wrestlemania talk. Bryan slaps Sheamus and runs but Miz jumps Sheamus. Miz is sent to the floor and I think we have our second main event tonight.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Or we have a match we join in progress after the break. Sheamus is in control and hits the forearms in the ropes to send Miz to the floor. Back in the slingshot shoulder gets two. Miz avoids a charge and Sheamus’ shoulder goes into the post. Single arm DDT gets two. Miz hooks a quick arm hold but Sheamus comes back with his running double axes. Irish Curse gets two and Sheamus doesn’t seem that bothered.

Miz comes back with a Reality Check as Booker won’t quite say if he thinks Sheamus will win the title at the PPV or not. Here comes the Finale but Sheamus throws him out of it. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus rolls him up for two. That new move that Sheamus has been using (needs a name) gets the pin at 6:00 shown.

Rating: C+. This was another good outing for Sheamus. Building him up by having him beat the entire upper midcard by Mania is fine and he’s beaten Mark Henry and Miz on back to back nights. Not a great match or anything but Sheamus looked strong and it’s not like this loss hurts Miz.

Teddy and Aksana are in the back and their usual stuff is done. Ace and Otunga are here and Teddy says that he has a special office for them. It’s the men’s room. Otunga vs. Jackson again tonight if I understood things right.

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Truth and Swagger start things off. Truth does his gyrating dance and gets taken down by a shoulder block by Jack. Vader Bomb gets two. Off to Ziggler who hooks that cross face chicken wing of his. Ziggler misses his splash and Truth brings in Kofi to speed things up. Kofi keeps selling the injuries from the Chamber. It’s good to see that Dolph is alive after that landing last night. Top rope cross body hits Dolph but Swagger makes the save. Swagger and Truth are knocked to the floor and Vickie slips on the floor. Back in the ring Ziggler pokes Kofi in the eye and the Zig Zag gets the pin at 2:43. So why put them over the champs?

Preview for some SyFy show.

Ron Simmons HOF video.

Santino does some target practice with The Cobra on some plastic cups. Heath Slater comes in and shoves them away. The Cobra spits something at Slater’s eyes and then does it again.

Great Khali vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is yelling at the commentators before the match. He begs off Khali and then shoves him. Chop, Plunge, 32 seconds.

Clip of the end of the battle royal last night with Show being eliminated because of Cody.

Big Show says Cody is on the top of his list, just like Show is on the top of Henry’s list. Show is going to snap Cody’s neck no matter where he gets his hands on him.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Show knocked Henry out on Monday to set this up. Show splashes him in the corner quickly and loads up the right hand but Henry ducks. A clothesline takes Show down and Henry is in early control. Henry yells a lot at Big Show and says this is his house and all that jazz. Show gets a boot up in the corner and some clotheslines to put Henry down. He hits a spear and calls for the chokeslam, but here’s Rhodes.

He says it must not be Wrestlemania if he’s going to chokeslam someone. Cody talks about Show facing Akebono at Wrestlemania and we get a clip from the show. In the middle of this match mind you. By clip I mean a full video package of the match against the sumo guy. Henry pops up and slams Show, followed by a splash for two. The WMD puts Henry out and Show goes after Cody. I guess we call it a countout at about 5:00.

Rating: D. The match was the usual non-PPV showcase from these guys. The video package in the middle stopped things cold and the lack of an ending (could Show really not get a quick pin?) made it even worse. I guess maybe they’re really not going with Big Show vs. Shaq at Mania? It doesn’t seem like it at least. This was pretty strange.

Recap of HHH and Undertaker last night.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. David Otunga

For the dozen of you that demanded the rematch! Lillian screws up a bunch of the entrance for Otunga and Laurinits. Otunga gets in him in a dragon sleeper position and pounds away on the chest but Jackson runs him over with a shoulder. He hits the clotheslines and a splash in the corner, followed by a backbreaker. There’s the Torture Rack but Otunga makes the ropes. Otunga guillotines him on the top and the spinebuster ends this at 1:21.

Otunga poses after the match.

Another preview for the Syfy show.

Here’s ANOTHER video from last night, this time about Eve’s heel turn.

Punk says nothing of note but he’ll beat Bryan tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

It’s 9:34 when Bryan comes out so this is either going to go very long or there’s something else ending the show. The crowd is very pro-Punk. They go to the mat and exchange a lot of counters. A stalemate takes us to a break. Back with Bryan holding a headlock which Punk escapes pretty quickly. Bryan goes after the arm and Punk sells it perfectly. Bryan kicks him in the chest and punk keeps sitting up.

Punk finally comes back with a suplex and both guys are down. Here comes the comeback via the kicks but his neckbreaker can’t work because of the arm. See, THAT’S a huge difference in selling: you can’t use certain moves because of the injuries. Bryan ducks the high kick and tries to leave, but Sheamus throws him back in and the high kick to the head gets the pin at 10:00.

And never mind as here’s Ace to say keep the match going. Punk takes him down and we take another break. Back with Daniel in control and working over the arm some more. During the break, Punk made fun of Bryan’s celebrations. Bryan rolls up Punk out of nowhere and grabs the rope for a pin at 14:27. Now say it with me: Teddy comes out and says restart it again.

unk kicks him to the floor and hits a suicide dive followed by the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan takes over and hits his kicks, followed by a top rope rana. Punk rolls through into a sunset flip for two. More kicks by Bryan but Punk blocks one. Bryan counters the counter into the LeBell Lock but Punk escapes again. High kick gets two. Punk goes up for the Macho Elbow, only to get crotched. Superplex is countered twice but Bryan finally hits it on the third attempt, all the way from the top. Punk does the old interlock the feet but it’s a double pin at 21:47.

Rating: B. Well you knew this wasn’t going to have a clean winner. I’m glad that it wasn’t because of interference though because that would have been totally predictable. This keeps both guys looking strong and at least does it in a way we haven’t seen a million times in the past year. I didn’t like it as good as their first one but it’s still good.

Post match, Ace and Teddy raise their respective guy’s hands (Teddy for Punk and Ace for Bryan). The bosses get into it and Ace throws his jacket at Teddy, making him leave to end the show with a staredown.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than most they’ve had lately but it felt like a supplement to Raw than its own show. With the Brand Split meaning practically nothing around this time of year, Smackdown gets nothing to work with at all. The main event was good but it was obvious that it was going to have no definitive ending. On Raw the lack of wrestling was ok because it was added by a lot of angles and development. That didn’t happen tonight for the most part, making this a weaker show overall, but still good.

Results
Sheamus b. The Miz – Celtic Cross
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Zig Zag to Kingston
Great Khali b. Drew McIntyre – Punjabi Plunge
Mark Henry b. Big Show via countout
David Otunga b. Ezekiel Jackson – Spinebuster
CM Punk and Daniel Bryan wrestled to a draw when both were pinned at the same time

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