Can’t say I’m complaining. How he went in after Koko B. Ware is another story though.

Elimination Chamber 2012
Date: February 19, 2012
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

This is the final stop on the Road to Wrestlemania, or the beginning of the road, depending on how you look at it. The even money would seem to be on both of the champions retaining here but you can never be sure. I mean, Santino is scheduled to be in this match so how sure can you be? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would imagine it is.

The Chamber is lowered.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Jericho enters last due to winning a match on Raw two weeks ago. Punk and Kofi start us off. Naturally the two faces wrestle as faces. Also they’re not going to use a lot of energy this early in the match. Kofi goes to the ropes but might have slipped a bit. It was nothing bad though. They trade pinfall reversals and Kofi avoids the GTS. Punk avoids the Boom Drop and they go to the outside. Well as to the outside as you can go.

Punk blocks a kick and slingshots Kofi into the pod which has a great thud sound effect. Back into the ring but Punk has hurt his hip. It was probably due to that time when he got slammed out on the chain and landed on his hip, but that’s just speculation. Here’s the first pod opening and it’s…..a guy in pink trunks. The new idea they want to push is that it can go from a one on one match to a triple threat and so on. Great, another thing to have drilled into our heads.

Ziggler goes after Punk and does pullups on the Chamber wall. He splashes Kofi back in the ring and we’re told that pins have to take place in there. Good thing to clarify. A splash attempt on Punk misses and everyone is in some trouble. Punk and Kofi double team Dolph and go to the outside for a double springboard. In a cool looking visual, they both dive at Dolph but collide in the air off the springboards due to Dolph ducking.

Dolph can’t cover though so we open pod #2 after about three minutes. It’s R-Truth who works on the pink one. He’s no Bret Hart. Truth knocks Ziggler over the ropes to send Dolph leg first into the cage. Truth dives on top of him because he’s not that smart all the time. Scissors kick gets two in the ring. Punk does his usual ramming his head into the other guy’s ear to call a spot before superplexing Truth for two.

Trouble in Paradise misses Punk and Kofi gets thrown to the outside. Macho Elbow eliminates Truth but Ziggler grabs a rollup. Punk rolls through it and Kofi hits the kick on Punk (looked SICK). Ziggler goes after Kofi of course but Kofi fights him off. He can only get two on the champ though due to the delay. Kofi does the springboard into the Spider-Man cage grab then hits a tornado DDT Dolph onto the cage, basically knocking him silly.

Here’s Miz in fifth to clean house. Everyone is down now so Miz covers Dolph, getting two. Kofi gets up on the ropes and kicks Miz in the face but is knocked off and crashes into the cage. GTS and Finale are both blocked so Miz hits the short DDT for two. They head to the mat and Punk grabs the Vice on Miz, but wouldn’t you know it, Jericho comes in to break it up before the tap.

Jericho and Punk square off with Jericho in control. Walls and GTS are both blocked but the Lionsault hits for two. Ziggler comes back in and walks into the Codebreaker to get us down to four (Punk, Jericho, Miz, Kofi). Punk catches a Jericho dropkick and catapults Chris out to the cage again. Jericho gets rammed into the pods so he gets a finger into Punk’s eye and hides in the pod. That works for about two seconds as Punk follows him in.

Punk’s arm gets caught in the door and Jericho pulls on it to ram Punk into the pod door. Kofi remembers that he’s alive and tries the SOS on the cage, driving his own head into the cage. Miz and Kofi are the only ones up now but Miz misses the running clothesline and Kingston goes up. A superplex is countered as Punk powerbombs Miz for two. Kofi climbs to the top of the pod and dives onto both of them but can’t pin Miz.

Jericho comes in and Liontames Kofi for the elimination to get us down to three. He beats on Kofi after the elimination and throws him out of the Chamber. Punk kicks Jericho out of the Chamber and he’s unconscious. The referees say he’s done and say he’s not responsive. I’m REALLY not liking them doing this a week after what happened to Sorensen. The cameraman is down too but sits up a few seconds later.

Back in the ring Miz tries the Reality Check but Punk counters with a high kick for two. The running knee and bulldog get two but Punk springboards into the Finale for two. Miz freaks out and talks a lot of trash in the corner but misses a charge, hitting his head on the pod. GTS puts him out at 32:39 and I guess Jericho isn’t running in as a surprise since it’s over.

Rating: C+. The Chamber is one of those matches that gets an automatic higher grade to start. This was one of the weaker ones I can remember. For me the problem is that the main feud in this, Jericho and Punk, has no heat on it and there’s zero reason for this to be in the Chamber. They were the only two that had a chance in this but their feud has just begun with nothing but a run-in by Jericho, a promo and some staring. That’s the problem that these calendar based PPVs present and that looks like how the future will be.

We recap Santino getting his spot in the Chamber.

Santino drinks Raw eggs to Eugene’s music and with a towel that looks like it has the All That logo on it.

Remember those overly long videos on Rock and Cena? Here’s another one, this time on Cena’s training regimen and the gym he goes to. Some developmental guys work out there. This one wastes four minutes of PPV time.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is wearing something inspired by Piper. This match could be subtitled “How many times can we remind you that Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter in a last ditch effort to make you care about her”. Tamina goes up quickly but gets knocked down to the outside. Beth pounds on her and Tamina barely gets back inside. Tamina gets up and hits a Samoan Drop but the Splash is broken up. Superplex gets two for Beth and Tamina chops her down. Superfly Splash gets two. Tamina goes up again but Beth brings her down, sends her into the buckle and the Glam Slam retains the title at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Call me sexist, call me a chauvinist, call me whatever you want, but I’m bored out of my mind every time the Divas are on screen. They’re waiting on Beth vs. Kharma which basically means they’re spending a year putting the whole division on hold, but at the end of the day is anyone going to care? I mean, who is Kharma going to feud with once she beats Beth? The division means nothing and it’s so uninteresting. The US Title can’t get on PPV because we have to see this. Right.

Santino punches some meat.

Jericho can’t talk.

Here’s Ace for his big announcement. He’s the Raw interim GM and he’s heard complaints about Smackdown’s GM Teddy Long. And never mind as here’s Alberto Del Rio! He says Teddy is a dog and likes to play favorites. Alberto wants Ace to be permanent Raw GM and the GM of Smackdown too. That brings out Henry who Cole thought was suspended (wasn’t he on Smackdown this week?).

Henry thinks Teddy is a bully who physically assaulted him. He supports the idea of Ace as permanent GM of both shows. Here’s Christian in a hat. Christian says that Teddy has been negligent and Smackdown is an unsafe working environment. He endorses Ace for GM as well. Ace has a picture taken of all four of them and then a second one. Now one with Otunga in it as well. And that’s that.

Santino runs some steps.

The Chamber is lowered. As in the ambulance match is main eventing ELIMINATION CHAMBER instead of an ELIMINATION CHAMBER.

Big Show says he has to win tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett and Big Show start in the ring. Show runs Barrett over to start but Barrett gets him down for one. They go outside and Show gets rammed into the cage door twice. Wade goes after the knee but Show kicks him off. We get a statement from Lawler saying that if you’re knocked out (like Jericho was) that counts as a submission. Why do I have a feeling this won’t be enforced later? Show wants Bryan as the buzzer goes off but gets Cody instead. Show is standing there waiting on him and things slow down a lot.

Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.

Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.

Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they’re both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it’s the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there’s a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it’s Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.

Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There’s Cody’s next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino’s arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.

Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he’s an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he’s eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he’s up against as it’s one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.

Rating: B-. Better match with better drama, but at the end of the day this wasn’t that great. Khali being out quick was fine but I have some real issues with them jobbing out their heels AGAIN for the sake of a one off thing. Barrett was this evil violent and cunning man and he loses to Santino. The same for the longest reigning IC Champion in 8 years. And for what? A pop because they can’t put the freaking US Champion in there? Ok I’m shutting up before I go too long with this. Match was ok, but nothing great.

Here’s Sheamus post match who takes Bryan out.

Time for unfunny comedy with Natalya. Cheese is present. Horny says that jack cheese is his favorite. Jack Swagger gets a cameo with Vickie, prompting a cottage cheese line. Justin Gabriel gets in Jack’s face so Teddy makes our filler match. Jack says that one man should run both shows. Teddy agrees but says it should be him. The match is for the title.

Buy Rock’s new DVD!

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel

Please change the title. Swagger controls to start and hits the Vader Bomb for no cover. Gabriel gets in some basic offense but Swagger grabs the ankle lock and wins by submission at 3:00. Of all the matches I’ve ever seen added to a PPV to fill in time, this was one of them.

Undertaker will be on Raw tomorrow.

We recap Cena vs. Kane. Kane wants Cena to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder then makes Cena make out with a hot woman to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Conclusion? Ambulance match, duh.

John Cena vs. Kane

You win by putting your opponent in the ambulance and having it driven out of the arena. You know Walt Disney was an ambulance driver in World War I when he was about 14. True story. Kane’s broken leg by Henry has been changed into a self imposed exile. Ok then. Cena charges to start and they head to the floor. They fight by the ambulance and use some of the stuff inside it as well.

Back to the ring and Kane goes into the steps but takes over anyway. Kane hits the side slam but Cena ducks the clothesline. He hits some of his signature stuff but the AA is countered into a smother. Cena goes down and is out cold so Kane throws him to the floor. He goes under the ring and pulls out a wheelchair. Well at least he’s making sure Cena is comfortable.

Cena escapes the chair and they fight to the ambulance again. Kane gets slammed into the vehicle and put into the chair. Cena rolls the chair into some production stuff. They fight into the tech area and Cena goes all beast mode. He asks Booker if this gets him a spot in the Fave Five and rams the steps into Kane’s head. John sets up the steps and tries to AA Kane through the table but Kane reverses into a chokeslam through it instead.

Kane goes up to the ambulance and gets a stretcher on wheels. Kane gets him in the ambulance but can’t close the second door. Cena kicks it into Kane’s face and they fight to the cab of the ambulance. John climbs onto the roof of the cab and then on top of the ambulance. They slug it out up there and Cena AA’s Kane off the ambulance into a conveniently placed area we can’t see. At least you couldn’t see the crash pad. He puts Kane in, closes the doors and it’s over at 21:21.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but it wasn’t great at all. Why this finished the show rather than one of the title matches is beyond me, unless something changes after the match. Cena winning was obvious and that’s fine. At least it ends this horrible storyline for good (in theory).

Overall Rating: D. Let’s see. The namesake match didn’t main event the show, the world titles didn’t change, the presumptive Mania matches are exactly what we thought they would be, and Cena wins again. Why exactly did this show exist again? I really didn’t like this one at all and it feels like WWE is being dragged into Mania instead of hitting it head on. They really need to crank things up before the PPV because in my eyes, what they’re doing heading into it isn’t working.

Results
CM Punk b. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho and R-Truth – Punk last eliminated The Miz after a GTS
Beth Phoenix b. Tamina Snuka – Glam Slam
Daniel Bryan b. Great Khali, Big Show, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella – Bryan last eliminated Marella with the LeBell Lock
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Ankle Lock
John Cena b. Kane – Cena put Kane in the ambulance

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Bryan won, basically making the whole PPV pretty pointless. Sheamus came out post match and laid out Bryan, basically confirming their Mania match.

Thoughts on this?

And they wonder why people think they’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Is there some law saying SD can’t main event a PPV?

It’s the last show before we really get on the Road to Wrestlemania.I think I’m going to go with the champions to retain.  I don’t see anyone taking Bryan out, especially if Big Show is going to fight Shaq at Mania like the rumors say.  Same with Punk, unless they go with Jericho to set up Punk proving he’s the best in the world by taking his title back.

Tamina I guess, not that it matters.

Cena over Kane for obvious reasons.

I’ll throw in a pair of bonus matches of Swagger retains over whomever he defends against and Sheamus squashes someone.

Your thoughts/picks?

Smackdown
Date: February 17, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

This is the final show before the Elimination Chamber. By the time you read this you’ll know that Orton is out of the Chamber so tonight it’s all about finding a replacement. Other than that, I wouldn’t expect a ton of stuff to be talked about. I mean it’s not like there needs to be stories for a show like this. Why should the writers need to waste time on character development or plots when they can just throw everyone in a cage and put their feet up for three weeks? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Show vs. Orton match from Raw. That Super DDT was kind of cool. Bryan hit Orton twice with the belt which gave him a concussion. I’ve heard conflicting reports about whether that’s a legit injury or if he was injured somewhere else and that’s their story for taking him out.

Orton is in Teddy’s office and Teddy says its out of both of their hands. Teddy can’t let him compete because he’s not medically cleared. Security is going to escort him out of the building because Teddy is concerned about his health. We’re officially told that Orton is out of the Chamber.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is procrastination.

Big Show/Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

Now Barrett and Rhodes lost last week, so the logical move would be to have them win here to get their heat back going into the Chamber. Barrett starts with Khali. Wade tries to kick him in the side but Khali shoves him down. Khali chops him in the corner so Barrett tags out. Cody has even less luck and tags out also.

Before he leaves though he kicks Khali in the knee which lets Barrett kick him in the head to knock him down. Cody hooks a quick chinlock but Khali shrugs him off and tags in Big Show. He cleans house and spears Barrett down. Cody gets knocked out of the air and the chokeslam pins Wade clean at 3:32.

Rating: D. This was a squash. The guy that didn’t lose a match all of the end of last year and the Intercontinental Champion just got squashed by Big Show and Great Khali. This is what people mean when they talk about pushes starting nice and strong and then getting dropped. Barrett has gone from the top choice to be a breakout star to a guy getting squashed by Big Show in the span of 6 weeks. That’s pathetic and a big reason why there are practically no new stars being made. Also, why in the world would I buy them as having a chance in the Chamber now?

Big Show knocks Khali out post match.

Teddy is on the phone and says he doesn’t know what he’s going to do about the empty spot. Henry shows up and says he wants the spot. Teddy looks like he’s thinking about it. Big Show comes in before Teddy answers and says he wants Daniel Bryan tonight. Henry says wait your turn. Show knocks him out too. He tells Teddy to give him what he wants and then destroys Teddy’s office.

Video on the UAE tour.

Teddy tells security to wait for Big Show to calm down and then escort him out of the building. One of the guards says no way so Teddy says he’ll call for backup.

Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico

Ted’s cast is smaller this week. Hopefully this is the end of the dull feud. Hunico beats him into the corner to start but Teddy counters and beats him down as well. Big boot gets two for DiBiase. Hunico works on Ted’s bad arm/wrist but DiBiase slams him to the mat. DiBiase dropkicks him out of the air but Camacho hits DiBiase, allowing Hunico to roll him up and grab the tights for the pin at 1:45. Now GET THEM SOMETHING NEW TO DO!

Short version of the Shawn/HHH/Undertaker segment from Raw.

Usos vs. Epico/Primo

Great. ANOTHER match we’ve seen twice already. Primo and Jey start us off. The Usos double team to get control but Jimmy goes to the corner and Primo slams him off. He gets double teamed in the champions’ corner as Booker and Cole get into it again. Cole was doing well about staying on focus to start too.

Primo hooks a chinlock but misses a corner dropkick, tying him up in the Tree of Woe. There’s the tag to Jay as well as Epico. The crowd is into the Usos, as usual. The Umaga running corner shot misses but a Samoan Drop gets two. Backstabber by Primo misses and there’s the superkick. Jey’s Superfly Splash hits knees and the Backstabber gets the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. I’d be fine with Primo and Epico as champions if they weren’t so boring. That’s the problem I have with them: there’s nothing interesting about them at all. Rosa is interesting because she’s fun to watch shaking her hips but other than that, there’s nothing about this team that makes me want to watch them. With the Usos at least you get the Siva Tao which catches your attention. Epico and Primo will probably hold the belts for months too.

Big Show has left the arena willingly.

Bryan is here.

Video on the Chamber.

Here’s Bryan in the arena. Bryan says on Monday he got two for one. We see a clip of Bryan hitting Orton and Show with the title on Raw. He says that if either of them had any guts, they’d be out here facing him right now. However they’re both afraid. Everyone is afraid of Daniel Bryan. Everyone is afraid of tapping out because he just keeps winning. He’s proven all of us wrong and he’ll do it again on Sunday. He would have won tonight and he’ll win on Sunday. Orton isn’t here but he wants Lillian to announce him as the winner via forfeit. She does and Bryan does the huge celebration to his music.

Here’s Teddy to say hold on a minute playa. He says Bryan hasn’t competed yet, which is what everyone wants to see. It won’t be Orton, but there’s a volunteer to take his place.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus takes him down with a headlock and works on the arm to open up. Bryan comes back with some kicks but Sheamus punches him in the ribs. There are the ten forearms in the rope and thankfully they stopped calling it whatever that Irish word they had given it. Bryan tries to walk out but Sheamus runs him over. Bryan gets up on the apron and hits the running knee to the head. Back in and Bryan hits a dropkick to the ribs.

Sheamus fires back with right hands but Bryan picks the ankle to stop him. A running low dropkick in the corner gives the champion control again. This is the most offense anyone has gotten in on Sheamus in months. He blocks the kicks and makes his comeback, hitting a powerslam for two.

Irish Curse is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt. Sheamus rolls out of it but Bryan escapes the Celtic Cross. Sheamus goes after him in the corner and Bryan slaps him. The referee pulls him back and I think Bryan spits on him (the camera cut away) and that’s enough for Sheamus to throw the referee down for the DQ at 6:45.

Rating: C. This was fairly dull but it was obvious they weren’t going to give us a full on Bryan vs. Sheamus match. They would have been stupid to do that anyway as that’s a potential Mania title match. Granted that’s never stopped them before but you get the idea. The ending was a good choice as it plays up Bryan’s heel character while keeping Sheamus looking like he needs adjustments before he can go for the big one.

Barrett wants to know who Orton’s replacement is. Cody wants to know also. Teddy says there’s a battle royal tonight with anyone in WWE, from Raw to Smackdown to Superstars to NXT.

The Rock is a movie star! This is much shorter than the one on Raw, thank goodness.

Jinder Mahal vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Mahal hits a bunch of knees to the ribs as Cole suggests Johnny Curtis could head to the Chamber. Jackson runs him over in the corner and hits a side slam. The Rack is countered and Mahal hits a DDT. He hooks the camel clutch but Zeke gets out of it. A Downward Spiral sets up another camel clutch (how does that hurt the back any more?) which gets the tap at 2:06. Zeke is done. I mean he’s just DONE.

Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya

Beth grabs Alicia to start and Fox dropkicks her down. Off to Natalya and we get a nice gymnastics demonstration from them. Natalya slides to the floor and comes back in to drop Fox for two. Beth adds in a kick to keep Fox in trouble. Natalya hooks the Sharpshooter… and the referee doesn’t see the tap because Natalya’s stupid gimmick makes him need a breath of fresh air. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? It allows Tamina to come in and hit the Samoan Drop and Superfly Splash for the pin at 2:52. I hate the Divas because of stupid stuff like this. Seriously, if this is the best they can come up with for them, drop the division.

Tamina knocks Beth out post match but she avoids the splash.

Ace and Otunga come to see Teddy. Ace says the Chamber is about charisma and star power. He suggests just putting Otunga in the Chamber instead of having the battle royal. Teddy says Otunga has the stink of a lawyer. What’s with the smell nonsense on this show lately?

Recap of the Cena/Kane/Ryder stuff from Monday.

Battle Royal

I’m not going to try to list off everyone in it. Imagine every non-main event guy and he’s probably in this. Otunga gets his own entrance. The NXT guys are in there. Bateman is the first out and it’s a standard battle royal: everyone is fighting and there’s no point in talking about anything other than eliminations until we get down to about five people. Watson is gone. Titus and an Uso follow him. Drew gorilla presses Kidd out.

DiBiase low bridges Darren Young and they both hang on to the rope to avoid elimination. DiBiase kicks him in the stomach and Young is gone. The ring is clearing out a bit but there are still too many people to count. Hunico throws Tatsu out. DiBiase knocks Camacho out as does Gabriel to McGillicutty. We take a break and come back with not much having changed.

There are about twelve people left. Make that about eleven as Hawkins is out. Riley tries the TKO on either Epico or Primo for some reason but he gets double teamed and tossed. The champs try to do the same to Reks but decide that’s not good enough, so they throw Curtis at Reks to get rid of both of them. They throw the other Uso out as well, then Primo dumps Epico.

Ok it’s down to manageable now. Hunico dumps DiBiase but DiBiase pulls him out too to keep their feud going. Gabriel and Primo throw each other to the apron but both save themselves. The camera won’t stay on a wide shot long enough for me to list off everyone in still. The both go to the apron twice more until Gabriel finally knocks Primo to the floor. Jackson knocks Gabriel out too.

It’s Otunga, Jackson, Mahal (elimianted as I type that), McIntyre and Santino. Santino loads up the Cobra but Otunga and McIntyre jump him. Drew is running over everyone with big boots….and then Santino dumps him. Otunga tries to throw out Santino but Jackson saves him. The fans are all chanting for Santino and he ducks under Jackson to put him out.

It’s Santino vs. Otunga. Santino Italianadians up and hits the Cobra but Otunga gets in a right hand to stop the momentum. A horrible neckbreaker takes Marella down. He goes to throw Santino out but is reversed and eliminated to give Santino the win at 13:12 shown of 16:42. Cole: “WE REPLACED A VIPER WITH A COBRA???”

Rating: D. To get it out of the way, the battle royal was your classic bad battle royal which I’m sure you’ve all seen dozens of. Now let’s get to the big issue here: Santino Marella is going to be in a major match for the world title on a pay per view. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I like it. Now before I get into why, I completely accept the counter argument of “IT’S SANTINO.” That’s perfectly fine and I won’t put up much of a defense against that.

However, think of some of the major criticisms of the company as of late: no new names in the main event, no surprises, no listening to the fans. Santino addresses all of those and even if he’s a comedy guy, he’s not going to win the title. He’ll be in there maybe three minutes and Big Show will knock him out or something like that. Kids are now excited for him and he’ll add some comic relief to the match (which isn’t really needed but it’s there). Also, there’s a very good chance someone will take him out and get his spot anyway.

Santino celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t bad this week but it’s clear they’ve had no new ideas or thoughts since the Chamber was announced. Everything since then has been about gaining momentum going into the PPV, but the problem is that it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just winning matches against other people in the match which has no bearing on the Chamber match itself. Tonight was about adding someone new and they did that, but it’s a questionable choice to put it mildly. Not a very entertaining show and they booked themselves into that corner.

Results
Big Show/Great Khali b. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam to Barrett
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase – Rollup
Primo/Epico b. The Usos – Backstabber to Jey Uso
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus shoved the referee
Jinder Mahal b. Ezekiel Jackson – Camel Clutch
Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya – Superfly Splash to Natalya
Santino Marella won a battle royal last eliminating David Otunga

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

We’re back in Orlando which means the crowds have gotten a lot worse again. Roode is still the champion after Sting had to count the pin on Sunday in a redo of Summerslam 1997. And before anyone complains, no I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. 14 years is more than enough for an angle to be repeated. Anyway, we start towards Victory Road tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video of the two main events from the PPV. The other is Garrett vs. Gunner if you’re confused.

Here’s Roode to open the show. He says that the fans are chanting Rooooooooooode so loudly that he needs to hear his introduction again. Roode talks about overcoming everyone, including Jeff Hardy. As for Sting, Sting has been pointing his finger at Roode since Roode won the title. After Sunday, that finger should be pointed at Sting because it was him that counted the pin to keep the belt on Bobby.

Cue Sting who says it was Sting that was selfish on Sunday because he let his anger get the better of him. If hurt the outcome of the match and Jeff got screwed. He’s here tonight to make things right with Hardy. He’s glad Roode is a fighting champion because tonight, it’s Roode vs. Hardy. There’s no time limit and no DQ. Oh and it starts NEXT.

Brandon Jacobs of the New York Giants is here.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Jeff charges and attacks Roode before the introductions can be made. Roode catches him in Percy Watson’s Persecution for two. Roode is sent to the floor where Jeff hits a dive and a pair of chair shots. This isn’t falls count anywhere. Roode is rammed into various metal objects and has his suplex countered into one by Hardy. It’s been about 95% Jeff so far. They go towards the ramp and Hardy cracks him in the back with a chair. Hardy whips him into the apron twice and signals to the fans for something. Roode uses the distraction to get in a punch to the ribs.

Jeff counters a whip to send Roode’s knees into the steps. He uses said steps to make a platform and hits Poetry in Motion onto the champ against the railing. With both guys down we take a break. Back with Hardy getting two off his front suplex. He loads up the Whisper in the Wind but Roode shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch him. Roode takes it to the floor again and tries a piledriver on the ramp but Jeff counters with a backdrop.

They go up to the stage with Hardy in control again. Hardy throws Roode off the stage but it wasn’t a huge crash as Roode is up pretty quickly. Also the stage isn’t as high. Jeff dives off the ramp with a clothesline. Twist of Fate is countered as Roode shoves Jeff into the stage. Roode’s charge misses and both guys are down.

This is random but they’re near the announce desk so it popped into my head. Tazz isn’t live in the arena and is doing this on a voiceover due to the death in his family. Hardy takes him back to the ring and takes his shirt off. Out of nowhere comes Kurt Angle who whips him into the steps. Roode pops up and hits the spear (of course) for the pin at 16:45.

Rating: C+. Far more of a fight than a match but that’s ok. The match was entertaining enough and it sets up something new for Hardy. He’s been around the title picture enough and hopefully this means they’ll be going towards Storm vs. Roode now. Good match here as Hardy looked great and his stuff with Angle should rock.

Roode says he won when Sting comes in. Sting says he cheated the system and says he’s not done yet. Roode is going to defend against the winner of the #1 contenders match tonight.

Eric Young has a guitar and says that he’ll get ODB back tonight. He also talks about shoot fighting and having his driver’s license taken away.

Sting talks to two people about getting a shot at Roode. He asks if they’re in and the people are revealed as Ray and Storm. They both say they should be world champion and the match is on.

We get a video of the Sorensen injury from Sunday. The current word is that Sorensen will be out for a year at least. He is however moving his arms and I believe legs as well.

Zema Ion/Austin Aries vs. Alex Shelley/Shannon Moore

Aries and Moore start things off. Aries takes him down with a fast headlock takedown and then a dropkick. Ion tags himself in to tick the champ off. Shannon kicks everyone down and Aries is knocked to the floor. There’s a baseball slide and Asai Moonsault which kind of misses as Moore lands on his feet and Aries falls a few seconds later.

Shannon picks up Ion’s hairspray which gets him a dropkick to the back. Shelley knocks Ion to the floor and wants a tag. Here’s Alex who misses a double boot and has Sliced Bread broken up. Aries dropkicks him in the back of the head and loads up the brainbuster but Ion tags himself in. Shelley escapes the brainbuster but falls into a rollup by Ion at 4:10.

Rating: C. The match was fine and I honestly forgot that Ion was #1 contender. That’s probably due to how the match he got the spot ended which is understandable. Also it’s rare to have heel vs. heel http://onhealthy.net/product-category/anti-anxiety/ feuds. Not a bad match or anything and the ending worked pretty well I thought.

Speaking of heel vs. heel, Gail and Madison are coming to the ring and Madison wants to chill things out between then.

Battle Royal

Brooke Tessmacher, Tara, Sarita, Rosita, Winter, Angelina Love, ODB, Mickie James, Velvet Sky, Madison Rayne

Winner gets the shot at Gail at Victory Road. Before the match, Madison praises Gail for giving everyone a chance to win right now. Madison sits at ringside with Gail. Winter and Tessmacther are out quickly. ODB threw both of them out and she tosses Rosita onto them. Mickie goes after her and has some better luck. She tries a headscissors but three other girls knock them both to the apron.

Mickie goes up top and ODB knocks her out. Everyone rams into ODB to knocker her to the floor and we’re down to Tara, Velvet, Angelina, Sarita and Madison who is on the floor. Tara is knocked out by Sarita. Angelina and Sarita team up against Velvet who fights out as well as she can. Velvet fights both of them as well as she can but can’t put Sarita out.

The alliance seems to break down but they hit a double elbow to put Velvet down. Madison hasn’t been in the ring yet so she’s still in this. Botox Injection puts Velvet down and Sarita says now put her out. Angelina goes to do that and Sarita tosses her. Salsa dancing abounds. Sarita charges at her but Velvet ducks to put her out. Madison runs in to throw out Velvet for the win at 6:30.

Rating: D. So apparently Madison was a surprise entrant into this match because when she said Gail was giving anyone in the ring a shot, it entered her into the match. Still though, this was longer than it should be or at least too long with those final three in there. Can’t call it a failure due to the hotness involved though.

Storm is all fired up.

The new tag champs say they proved their greatness by doing what they said they’d do. It’s a rematch next week.

We recap the Garrett vs. Gunner match from the PPV where Garrett fought hard but lost.

Here’s Immortal, who is now Flair, Gunner, Bischoff, and Chelsea if you remember her. She’s hot if nothing else. Eric says Chelsea wanted back in after seeing Garrett’s loss on Sunday. Champagne is brought in along with cigars. Eric says get a dog as a dog catcher, but never come close to wrestling again. He wishes Garrett the best in all of his future endeavors.

The host of some MMA show talks about MMA.

Eric Young talks to ODB who doesn’t want to hear it. He plays a song on his guitar called the Ode To ODB. She laughs at it and spanks him. This isn’t funny, as usual.

James Storm vs. Bully Ray

It’s 10:30 so there’s either something after this or we’re going to have a long match. Ray is way too proud of his calves. Feeling out process to start and Storm armdrags him down. Hebnar trips over him and Ray works on Storm’s knee. Ray even takes the boot off of Storm’s foot to work it over even better. More leg work follows which has been the focus of the match so far. Ray keeps on the leg as we take a break.

Back with Storm trying a comeback but Ray dropkicks the knee out for two. Ray punches the knee and talks trash, which gets him a punch in the face. Codebreaker puts Ray in the corner. He comes out with a big boot but Storm ducks underneath and hits the Last Call for the pin and the #1 contendership at 12:10.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world but it wasn’t that interesting either. It gives us Roode vs. Storm which is what we needed more than anything else though. Storm has made the superkick into a big move that can change a match at anytime which is what it needed to be.

Storm has a beer bash post match and gives Brandon Jacobs a beer as well. Ray jumps Storm during the celebration and gets in Jacobs’ face. He takes a drink from the beer and spits it in Jacobs’ face. Jacobs shoves him down and wants to fight. Storm and security pull him back and D’Lo Brown looks like he’s trying to hold back a small bus. Jacobs and Storm get in the ring and celebrate.

Storm and Jacobs say bring it Bully. Jacobs will be back next week.

Sting wants to talk to Roode face to face. Roode comes out and announces Roode vs. Storm in the cage at Lockdown. Roode kicks Sting in the balls for that. He takes Sting’s sunglasses and hits him with the belt to open him up. So….Sting vs. Roode at Victory Road?

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very packed show but nothing came off as excellent. Storm vs. Roode is the match that needs to happen but it’s a very good thing to get Sting vs. Roode out of the way first. That’s been the real main event feud since Roode won the title so getting it out of the way lets Roode vs. Storm feel like the huge match that it is. It wasn’t announced but I’d call it a very safe bet after the ending to that show. Good show but not great.

Results
Bobby Roode b. Jeff Hardy – Spear
Zema Ion/Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley/Shannon Moore – Rollup to Shelley
Madison Rayne won a battle royal last eliminating Velvet Sky
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

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NXT
Date: February 15, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

Fifty shows. We’ve somehow hit FIFTY shows. There have been 104 shows in the history of NXT and nearly half of them have been in this season. Anyway, nothing of note has been happening lately as the rookies (can you be classified as a rookie in your second year on the show?) have been losing more lately other than Titus. Oh and Hawkins/Reks beat up Striker last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are Hawkins and Reks to open the show. Hawkins says it should have been their moment but instead it wasn’t. Reks says they should be on the main shows instead of begging for matches here. Hawkins runs down Striker and wants to know what a host does around here. The NXT roster is full of talented superstars so it needs change. He pulls back his vest and reveals an Obama style shirt.

Here’s Striker who says this is all ridiculous. He’s given everyone a chance to shine. Hawkins says come here and say that but Striker says he isn’t as stupid as Hawkins looks. Striker has called an old friend to help him. Call him a substitute if you will. And it’s Regal. Regal is now in charge of things, at least for tonight. Hawkins has a match right now and Reks is banned from ringside. Reks: “Why me?” Regal: “I don’t like you you scruffy thing. Go and have a bath or something.”

Curt Hawkins vs. Tyson Kidd

Awesome sequence to start as Hawkins throws him over the top but Kidd skins the cat. Hawkins slides under him and Kidd teases a dive. He lands on the apron and runs to the post, jumps around it and catches Hawkins in a hurricanrana. That looked great. Kidd is looking more muscular now. Hawkins rams him into the apron and we take a break.

Back with Hawkins getting two off a suplex. Hawkins is wrestling in the shirt which is a better look for him. Hawkins works on a chinlock which is broken pretty quickly. Kidd fires off some kicks and sends Hawkins to the outside. Tyson hits a slingshot dropkick and a running knee smash off the apron which gets two back inside. Hawkins counters what looked like a suplex into an inverted DDT for two.

Kidd goes to the apron and tries a sunset flip but spins in mid-air to land in a reverse victory roll for two. He tries a Rocker Dropper but Hawkins suplexes out of it which also gets two. We go to the corner and Kidd fights out of a superplex attempt. In a great and subtle move, Kidd uses a victory roll (ala Bret, who Regal said Kidd had been training with) into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 7:37.

Rating: B. I really liked this match and it was very entertaining. When you give young and talented guys some time, this is what you can get. I loved the victory roll part at the end with the Bret nod, which is a fine lesson in what an announcer can do. Regal set that up and the ending to the match paid it off. Perfect.

Titus O’Neil vs. Yoshi Tatsu

The way the announcers are talking, Regal is permanent boss. The power controls to start this power vs. speed match. Titus yells at Yoshi that no one cares about Yoshi because it’s all about Titus. Yoshi takes more punishment but avoids a charge in the corner and fires off some kicks. A running knee to the chest gets two. Not that it matters as Titus hits him in the back and a very good Clash of the Titus gets the pin at 3:22.

Rating: C. This was Titus’ best performance as a heel so far. The Clash looked great and he had some mannerisms that would make you believe he was a jerk instead of the same guy but frowning like he’s been for the last few weeks. I could get into the idea of Regal sending guy after guy to fight him until it’s Regal himself in a big match.

Titus yells at Regal that he wants competition in the form of Alex Riley. Here’s Riley who says he’ll come say it to Titus’ face. Alex says let’s do it right now and Titus rolls to the floor to escape.

Alicia and Kaitlyn want Bateman and Maxine to break up. Kaitlyn insists they’re just friends. Curtis comes up to hit on them. A guy with flowers and candy comes up after the girls leave saying he’s looking for Bateman. Curtis says that’s him and there’s a card for Maxine. He says it’s like stealing candy from a Bateman.

Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty

McGillicutty has a big beard now. Michael takes him to the mat to start but Percy nips up. I don’t think the crowd knows who Michael is. Whoever he is he hooks a quick chinlock and Percy is in trouble. Percy comes back with a modified version of the spinning DDT Rock did when he was Rocky Maivia. A dropkick and clothesline put Michael down but the Heisman lands on knees. Not that it matters as Persecution ends this at 4:02.

Rating: D+. The announcers build this up as some huge victory but both of these guys lost on their season of NXT. To be fair though, McGillicutty has had some success in the WWE while Watson has been on NXT the entire time. Not a terrible match but Watson needs something to do other than just being athletic.

Maxine finds a box of chocolates addressed to Kaitlyn and signed by Derrick. She isn’t happy.

Raw ReBound is about Cena/Kane/Ryder.

Kaitlyn is on commentary for this.

Derrick Bateman/Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater/Johnny Curtis

Kaitlyn says that she and Bateman watch Full House together. Justin and Curtis start off and Curtis is kicked to the outside. Bateman dives on Curtis and we take a break. Back with Slater working on Justin’s knees. Apparently Curtis has been asking Regal if he was breastfed. Ok then. Curtis works over the knees as Regal hits on Kaitlyn. Justin gets two off a quick rollup. There’s the hot tag to Bateman and he cleans house. Everything breaks down and the falling bulldog (the Sweet Meat Sizzler according to Kaitlyn) gets the pin on Slater at 5:37.

Rating: D. Very uninteresting match here and that’s the problem with the main event stuff (if you can call it that) on this show: it’s BORING. Bateman and Curtis have a good story going with Maxine and Kaitlyn but they’re so terribly uninteresting and bad at acting that there’s nothing that makes me care about this at all. That’s a big problem, or at least it would be if more than 5 people watched this show.

Post match Maxine comes out and hits Kaitlyn with the chocolates. She rams Kaitlyn into the barricade and Bateman tries to stop her so she shoves him too. Bateman carries Maxine out as Curtis smiles.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good episode for the most part. With the new directions the show has been going in there’s an improvement and that’s helped a lot. However as I said above, Bateman and Curtis are less interesting than dried paint. When you have hot women fighting and you can’t make the guys they’re fighting over interesting, there’s something wrong with them. Good ideas, not the best execution this week.

Results
Tyson Kidd b. Curt Hawkins – Sharpshooter
Titus O’Neil b. Yoshi Tatsu – Clash of the Titus
Percy Watson b. Michael McGillicutty – Persecution
Derrick Bateman/Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater/Johnny Curtis – Sweet Meat Sizzler to Slater

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Santino.  He won a battle royal to get the vacant spot.

On one hand, this is crazy.  On the other hand, you can’t say it’s predictable.  On the other hand, I’m curious to see if anyone replaces him.

Thoughts/outcrys?

According to WWE.com so this is pretty accurate.  It occurred when Bryan hit him in the head with the belt, giving him a concussion.

Thoughts on this/his replacement?