Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I was going to make a bunch of jokes about being in England tonight but I’ll try to find something funny to say instead. We have two shows in London before heading back to Orlando for Against All Odds on the 12th. I don’t think many matches have been announced officially yet but for the most part you can guess a lot of them which is fine. These shows outside of the Impact Zone are always interesting, so let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the fans who talk about how awesome wrestling is.

Hogan will be back tonight.

Roode and Ray open the show. The place looks great. Ray talks about how the fans aren’t going to see Hardy tonight because they took care of him last week. I think that was done because Hardy has visa issues due to the legal history. Roode says it’s great to be back in Ireland. He insists it’s not them that sucks and praises himself and Ray. I think the fans are chanting for D-Von.

Roode calls out Storm and here’s the Cowboy. Ray gets between them and there’s Sting’s music. The ring looks a lot smaller than usual. Sting says he talked to Hardy yesterday and Jeff will be back at Against All Odds. Sting announces the four way main event that I think we all knew was coming for the title at the PPV. As for tonight, Storm gets both of them in singles matches.

Garrett calls his trainer who will be here tonight.

Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here and it’s a Buckingham Brawl which is a new twist on things: there’s a coin flip to start and the winners get to be in the ring without having to tag, meaning it’s a handicap match in a way. Crimson starts and the numbers game starts up quick. The non-champions dominate for the opening minutes with a power/speed combination.

They set for their double team combination out of the corner but Crimson takes Joe down and Magnus jumps into a suplex. Hot tag brings in Morgan and everything breaks down. Crimson is sent to the floor and the Carbon Footprint misses in the corner. That allows Joe and Magnus to hit their finishing sequence on Morgan and the middle rope elbow gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C. Quick match but this was a good way to let Magnus/Joe get one up on the champs. Crimson and Morgan have beaten them I think twice now so why should we buy them having a real chance again? The rule twist was a nice addition and it lets the champs save some face. Decent match and the crowd was way into it.

Eric Bischoff is here.

Here’s Eric in the ring. A kid flips him off at ringside. Eric says he thought the British people were civilized. He says he’s here to burst the bubble of Garrett with a little dose of reality. Eric asks Garrett to come to the ring and then demands it. The arena is a very different setup as the entrance is on the hard camera side, making it almost like the old MSG setup for those of you familiar with it.

Garrett gets here and Eric tells him that no matter who is training him (remember that Eric knows who it is) it’s not going to matter because Garrett is never going to be good enough. Garrett asks why Eric doesn’t take it up with the trainer and Eric says that the trainer will never be here. The trainer (presumably) calls Garrett and Garrett doesn’t look that pleased. The trainer is here tonight and wants to speak with Eric.

Mark Haskins, a British guy that was in some X-Division series that was put on last year, talks about how he’s here to do whatever it takes to win. He says he’ll win the title.

Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is non-title I believe. The entire front row has its back to the ring for somer eason. Aries takes him to the mat and the fans still like Aries more than the hometown boy. Haskins is sent over the top but he skins the cat into a headscissors to take over. Aries skins the cat as well but Haskins dropkicks him down. Haskins sets for a plancha but Aries slides in. A springboard attempt is countered, resulting in Haskins being crotched.

A top rope shot to the floor takes him down even more and the fans are all for Aries. Back in and Haskins gets crotched again. A low dropkick misses and Haskins starts his comeback. A monkey flip puts Aries down but a second is countered. Haskins nips up and runs the ropes for a springboard crossbody. A cutter gets two on the champ.

Haskins goes up for a Shooting Star and lands Lesnar style, landing right on his head. Since he’s pretty much dead, Aries hits the brainbuster and holds onto him, flipping over to hook kind of a dragon sleeper hold but with Aries behind and under Haskins and pulling back on him for the tap at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Aside from the near neck breaking botch, this was a fun match. Haskins is fast but you would think he would get cheered in his hometown. I don’t know if that’s more praise for Aries or a bad thing about Haskins, although I’m leaning towards the former more than the latter. Good match though.

Eric Bischoff is yelling on the phone about getting a cab and Sting comes to bring him back inside.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start and Storm takes over. He takes Roode to the mat but the champ heads to the floor to avoid a Last Call. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting a facebuster but walking into a clothesline. There’s going to be a Star Wars Special next week. As long as it’s not the Holiday Special I’m all good with that. Spinebuster gets two. Storm comes back and they slug it out.

Roode goes up top but Storm gets in a big right hand to slow him down. Storm’s trunks have something that looks like the Brahma Bull on it. Storm snaps off a rana to send both guys down. Storm starts his real comeback and hits a Backstabber for no cover. Top rope elbow gets two.

Russian legsweep by Storm is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. Roode sets for the Payoff but Storm counters into the Eye of the Storm but Roode counters as well. There’s the Payoff but it only gets two. Storm comes back with a Codebreaker to avoid a belt shot. He loads up the Last call but here’s Ray to break it up. That opening allows Roode to spear Storm for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: B-. If I never see another spear it’ll be too soon. This was a good match between two guys that should be facing each other for the title in a big time PPV program but that spot goes to Hardy because Storm never got high during a PPV and made the company look like a joke. Quite a good TV match though.

Post match Ray gives Storm a Rock Bottom onto the title belt. Sting makes the save.

Tara vs. Gail Kim

Tara is #1 contender but from what I can tell, this is non-title. Tara takes over to start and strips her top off for the standing moonsault. Gail takes over with some choking and a knee to the back for two. She hooks a leg lock by bending Tara’s leg over Gail’s neck then a clothesline gets two.

Mike thinks if Tara beats Gail here, it might be an advantage for her going into the rematch at the PPV. A missile dropkick misses for Gail and Tara hammers away. Powerslam (called a snap slam by Tenay) gets two but Rayne runs in for the…not DQ. She ran into Gail but it doesn’t count for some reason. Widow’s Peak ends this at 4:57.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I really don’t get the theory here. What purpose did this serve? Why not have Rayne take the loss here rather than giving us the match ten days before its on PPV? I really don’t get this company’s thinking at times but then again, why bother trying to get people to buy the TV show when you can give the matches away for free?

Here’s Garrett to reveal the trainer but Eric comes out with Gunner. Eric talks some trash and to not a ton of shock, Hogan is the trainer. The fans of course love him because he’s an old school guy and if you’re loved once, you’re always loved. Hogan and Garrett beat Gunner up for a bit while Eric stands there. Gunner is knocked to the floor and Eric is terrified and runs. Of all the people that Hogan could give a rub to, they picked Garrett Bischoff?

Hogan and Garrett talk about how they’re coming for Eric.

Bully Ray vs. James Storm

This is Storm’s second match of the night and he has bad ribs. Ray works on the injury with some hard shots before draping Storm over the top. Off to a camel clutch for a few moments and then a slam. Here comes Roode and we take a break. Back with Sting coming to the ring with a cricket bat and Ray holding Storm in a bearhug.

Ray lets that go and hits a big boot followed by some elbow drops for two. A splash gets the same. The middle rope backsplash misses and Storm starts his comeback. He wins a nice countering sequence on the apron and a middle rope cross body gets two. Ray tries to grab Storm but gets knocked into the referee. Sting chases Roode out of the ring and the Last Call beats Ray clean at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not as good as earlier but it was nice to see someone using basic psychology here like Ray was doing. Storm getting a win keeps him strong which is something he needed going into the PPV. Not a great match or anything but Ray has really impressed me in his singles run.

Overall Rating: B. This was pretty good here as the pretty strong string of non-Orlando shows continues. This moved us towards the PPV and gave us a big development in the Bischoff feud. Now if you don’t care for the Bischoff feud or the main event, this wasn’t the show for you because that was the majority of the focus tonight. Hogan being back isn’t a bad thing but hopefully he actually gives someone a rub for a change. That talk of a Star Wars show next week though scares me.

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle rope elbow to Morgan
Austin Aries b. Mark Haskins – Reverse Dragon Sleeper
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Spear
Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

NXT
Date: February 1, 2012
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

We’re continuing with this show because someone up there hates me. This week we continue with the Titus Is Evil story as Alex Riley ran in for the save last week because…well because someone had to I guess. Other than that we have Bateman, Maxine and Curtis promising to get along for the purposes of…..I have no idea. Let’s get to it.

This didn’t come up until Thursday for some reason.

Here’s Titus to open the show. He says that the fans are being good and quiet like small people. The best thing they can do is shut up according to him. He gets on to Riley very quickly and says that he’s ready for him. Here’s Darren Young of all people who says he hates being here. Young says they have unfinished business. Titus says the only unfinished business Young should have is with his barber.

Young talks about how he’s respected Titus lately and extends his hand for a shake. Titus doesn’t care about respect from the people or from Young. Titus seems to be stumbling over his lines in this. Percy comes out and yells at Titus and calls him stupid. Them are fighting words pardner! Young calls him into the ring and as Watson gets ready, here’s Riley to even the odds. The following is exactly what you would expect: brawl, Striker, tag match main event.

Tyson Kidd vs. Trent Barretta

Yes please. Tyson takes it to the mat quickly and gets some two counts but Trent bridges out. They fight for control and Tyson sends him to the floor where he hits a suicide dive. Back in an enziguri sends Tyson to the corner. A running elbow in the corner knocks Kidd back but Trent walks into a spin kick for two. Trent hits his corner stomp and a running knee gets two. They go to the corner and Tyson gets crotched. Trent goes up and tries a rana but Kidd rolls through for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: B-. As usual the cruiserweight style guys go out and have the most entertaining match of the night. Trent continues to be awesome and it’s hard for Kidd to have a bad match as well. Good stuff here and there needs to be an NXT Title so these two can have a 15 minute match for it. And yes I know that’s nuts.

Striker is in the back on the phone when Hawkins and Reks mess with him. The screen messes up during this. Hawkins and Reks want matches, so Striker says next week everyone licensed gets a match. That’s about it.

Here’s Slater to brag about ending his losing streak last week. We get a clip and as Bateman brags, here’s Bateman. Slater wants to see the clip again but instead Bateman makes fun of him. “I didn’t even know you had a finisher.” Neither did I actually. Bateman says it was almost as impressive as the Undertaker’s Streak. Slater talks about how he’s won three titles and has main evented Summerslam and all that jazz.

Bateman says he has a career highlight reel of Slater which is nothing but stills of him losing and the word loser over the top, including Horny winning the over the top rope challenge. A brawl starts and Slater is knocked to the floor. Cue Maxine who kisses Bateman and that’s about it.

Maxine vs. Alicia Fox

We get a clip from three weeks ago that set this up. They immediately go at it and head to the mat. Curtis comes out and the distraction lets Alicia get a rollup for the pin at 41 seconds. Someone please explain to me why this division exists.

Five minute video on Cena that aired at the Rumble.

Maxine and Bateman go looking for Curtis and Kaitlyn finds it ironic that Maxine is always looking for Curtis. Kaitlyn says she’s looking out for Bateman because they’re friends but Maxine doesn’t buy it. Curtis comes out of a door after they leave and smiles.

Percy Watson/Alex Riley vs. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young

Watson vs. Young starts us off. Watson sends him to the floor and hits a perfect plancha to take him out as we take a break. Back with Riley in control of Young and getting two off a clothesline. Percy comes back in and knocks Young to the floor with a dropkick. As they get back in, Young hits the belly to back on the apron for two. Titus comes in for the first time and puts a neck crank on Watson.

Young comes back for a neckbreaker which gets two. Titus brings the power back in and chinlocks Watson, but gets caught in the corner and Watson makes the hot tag to Riley. He cleans house and hits the elevated DDT for two on Young. O’Neil breaks it up and everything breaks down. Titus gets a blind tag and hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 9:33.

Rating: C. For a main event tag match this was fine. It’s nothing of note but it pushed Titus’ heel turn a bit stronger and gives us a new guy in the main event with Riley. I’m a fan of his so seeing him in a featured match is a fun thing. The match itself was nothing all that bad but it was as there as any NXT main event.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t that good, but it certainly wasn’t anything bad. The best thing you can ask for from this show anymore is that it goes by quickly and this one pretty much flew by. We get a new program with Slater vs. Bateman which is something other than Bateman vs. Curtis so it’s an automatic improvement. Not bad here but it’s just another show in this never ending series.

Results
Tyson Kidd b. Trent Barretta – Sunset flip off the top rope
Alicia Fox b. Maxine – Rollup
Titus O’Neil/Darren Young b. Alex Riley/Percy Watson – Clash of the Titus to Riley

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 30, 2012
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentary: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re past the Rumble now and Raw still has the same champion. The main thing going on tonight is that HHH is going to be evaluating Ace’s job performance. Last night, Ace pretty much was perfect other than a few small errors, which makes me think something is up. Punk vs. Ziggler was a highlight of the show and I’d like to see more of it. Also the Chamber members have been announced already: Kofi, Miz, Truth, Punk, Ziggler and Jericho. Let’s get to it.

After a quick Rumble video and the theme song, we’re ready to go.

Ace comes out and shakes hands with fans and the announcers to keep sucking up. He talks about how it’s ok to make mistakes as long as you don’t make the same ones. Ace is looking forward to the evaluation. He talks about his performance last night and moves onto the “Elimination PPV.” We hear the aforementioned Chamber participants. Also it’s Beth vs. Eve, Kofi vs. Miz and Ziggler vs. Orton. Finally, Punk vs. Bryan.

Cue Punk who leads us in the goodbye song. Ace wants an apology for not screwing Punk and being a man of his word. Punk talks about how bad of a job Ace has done and can’t wait until HHH gets here and throws him out. We also get the Bart Simpson (I think) suck and blow at the same time line. Ace says he won’t take it personal because the Board doesn’t. He does offer a clean slate via a handshake but Punk says if you do that to the best wrestler in the world, it means you want to go to sleep.

That brings out Bryan for the big celebration as usual. After last night, Punk isn’t much of a challenge. Punk again says he’s the best in the world so Bryan says he’s a role model as a vegan. He doesn’t even eat meat. Punk wants to know what exactly Bryan eats then. Bryan threatens to shove the Pipe Bomb somewhere it shouldn’t be. Punk says let’s give the people a show and the best match in the world.

That brings out Sheamus to remind us that he won the Rumble last night. His words, not mine. He also reminds the champs they defend at the Chamber PPV and that Ace could be fired. Sheamus doesn’t pick yet and gives Ace a little Irish proverb. Punk and Bryan shake hands.

Barrett is in a sky box to watch Orton’s match.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

During Orton’s entrance, Barrett says he’ll finish the job on Friday. Barrett is doing commentary from his box in a way. Ziggler starts off fast and avoids a right hand. Randy takes it to the mat for a second with a headlock. Barrett reiterates that he’ll take Orton out on Friday. Zigger hits a dropkick to the back and we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock.

Orton gets up and avoids a corner splash but another dropkick takes him down for two. A neckbreaker sets up the sit-ups. Dolph goes up but gets crotched and a superplex gets two for Randy. Orton powerslams him down but the elevated DDT is countered and Dolph hooks the sleeper. They go to the corner again and Orton gets a slick rolling cradle for two. Fameasser gets the same for Dolph. Zig Zag is countered and we go to the floor. Orton throws him into the barricade and comes back in with the elevated DDT. RKO ends this totally clean at about 11:00.

Rating: B-. Is Ziggler capable of having a bad match anymore? He and Orton do nothing but put on solid matches anymore and this was no exception. Good stuff here and the dominant victory is fine for Orton. I don’t think it hurts Ziggler really as he’s a lower level star than Orton so it’s not exactly an upset.

New Hall of Fame inductee tonight.

We get a still package on the Kane/Ryder/Cena stuff from last night.

Ace is still talking to people in the back and asks Regal how his son is. Regal has daughters apparently, who are conjoined and locked in the attic. Somehow that’s hilarious.

Brodus Clay vs. Tyler Reks

There’s a disco ball in Brodus’ entrance now. Reks actually gets in some offense, even getting Brodus down to one knee. Not that it matters though as Brodus comes back and What The Funk ends this in 1:04.

Punk is lacing up his boots when Bryan comes in. Punk asks about the whole vegan thing and Bryan explains about how it’s about screaming animals and not putting poison in your bodies. Bryan asks about straightedge which Punk explains and says he doesn’t claim to be a role model. He’s just the best wrestler in the world.

CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan quickly takes over with a dropkick and double leg stomp out of the surfboard position. The announcers explain the Chamber as Bryan continues to control. He misses a high kick and Punk backdrops him to the floor. Punk drops an axehandle on him and they trade European uppercuts on the floor. Bryan throws him over into the timekeeper’s area but Punk beats the count back in at 9.

Punk hits a belly to back suplex to set up the springboard clothesline which gets two. Bryan does his moonsault out of the corner and tries a cross body at the same time Punk does. They collide and as they’re both down we take a break. Back with Bryan working on the arm which he kicked during the break. Bryan goes up but Punk crotches him and hits a rana after shouting BEST IN THE WORLD.

The running knee hits in the corner and Punk shifts to the good arm for the bulldog. I love subtle little things like that, even though Cole and Lawler pointed it out. GTS is attempted but Bryan heads to the floor. Baseball slide is attempted but Punk’s suicide dive is countered by a forearm. Missile dropkick gets two for Daniel. Bryan fires off the kicks but Punk gets a sunset flip for two. BIG kick to the head of Punk gets the same.

They go to the corner again with Bryan trying a superplex. A headbutt puts him down and there’s the Savage Elbow. Well not quite as he only points with one arm. GTS is countered into a crucifix but Bryan can’t get the LeBell Lock. Slingshot puts Bryan into the corner and a high kick puts him down. And here’s Jericho to interfere for the DQ at 15:04.

Rating: B. It was good while it lasted and I guess this sets up Jericho vs. Punk. It was very good back and forth stuff, but it does kind of say a lot when Punk vs. Bryan and champion vs. champion is only the first hour main event. Still though, pretty entertaining match which had no chance at a clean ending.

Jericho hits Punk with a Codebreaker and leaves him laying. He hit Bryan first though so Bryan wins.

Mike Tyson is going to the WWE Hall of Fame. This was on ESPN.com earlier today.

Truth comes out for commentary for the next match.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz talks about the handstand last night and how he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania no matter what. Miz controls to start with his usual basic stuff. Kofi avoids a charge and speeds things up a bit, but Miz takes him down with a double axe from the top. Off to a cravate and into the short DDT for two. Cole keeps asking about Little Jimmy and Truth gets annoyed. Kofi is in tights with question marks on them. Top rope cross body hits Miz for two. He tries the SOS but Miz escapes. Jumping forearm is almost countered into the Finale but Kofi shakes him off. Trouble in Paradise hits out of nowhere for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C. It’s nice to see Kofi get a win which gives him some momentum. He hasn’t really done anything as a singles guy in awhile so this is something he needs going into the Chamber. Not a great match but at least it accomplished something and was 100% clean. Kofi has as much chance as I do in the Chamber but that’s ok as he’ll hit some huge spots for the fun aspect of the match.

Otunga comes in to talk to Ace and wishes him luck.

Same Rock video from last night airs. You know, for the wrestling fans that don’t know who The Rock is.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve jumps her to start but the Glam Slam ends this in 30 seconds. Yep, this was pointless.

Kane pops up on the screen and says this could have been avoided if Cena embraced the hate. Cena keeps looking by Kane to Rock, and until Cena embraces the hate, there’s no way Cena can beat Rock. Kane is going to continue punishing Ryder until the hate is embraced. Tonight, Kane is going to use Eve as a way to push that idea along. The fire goes off and Kane isn’t at the entrance. Instead he’s on the apron behind her. She screams and Cena comes out for the save.

The fight is on quickly and they go into the aisle. Cena fires back at Kane and rams him into the steps. He picks up the steps and takes Kane down with them, drawing a smile on John’s face. There’s another shot and Kane is in trouble. Cena loads up the announce table and sets for the AA as he laughs. Kane elbows his way out of it and runs through the crowd. Good segment as Cena has some fire to him (no pun intended) and you buy that he can beat Kane now, which is the idea heading into the Chamber so he can reach his destiny at Wrestlemania.

Time for Ace’s evaluation. Ace says he’s not nervous because he knows what he’s done on Raw and that the fans have appreciated it. He’s had to go through a self evaluation and has given himself a lot of 5’s (the highest score possible). Ace goes on with this for a bit before HHH’s entrance cuts him off. HHH says forget everything about the assessment and all that stuff because it’s all about how Ace has grabbed the power and tried to make himself a star.

Ace tries to explain it and HHH says don’t lie and make it worse. HHH talks about how this is a personal agenda to make Ace a star. That HAS to be a rib. HHH talks about people letting personal decisions cloud their judgment and having to be replaced. Ace says he’ll do anything to save his job. HHH makes sure the word anything was in there. When Ace says that’s right, HHH says apologize to the WWE Universe.

Ace apologizes to everyone and you can feel the corporate stooge in him coming out perfectly because he snaps this off like he’s ordering dinner. HHH says the fans aren’t going with it so how about Ace runs a gauntlet match against everyone in the locker room that wants a shot at him. That probably isn’t fair though so how about Ace joins Vince’s exclusive club. Ace is really shaken about it but puts on chapstick and gets on his knees.

His eyes are closed and he’s puckered up. HHH laughs and says “You’re really going to do it aren’t you you freak?” Instead, Ace is fired and HHH is running Raw again. HHH sets to wish his well in his future endeavors…..and a gong sounds. The lights go out, fire comes up, and the Undertaker is back. I don’t know if Ace is officially gone or not but HHH said the Board said HHH could run Raw again anytime he wanted.

Taker stares down HHH and slowly walks to the ring. Well there’s Wrestlemania and the shot at 20-0. Taker circles HHH and they stare each other down. This is a LONG overrun as it’s 11:15. He looks up at the Wrestlemania sign and then at HHH then hits the throat slit. A very long staredown and more looking at the sign follows and then HHH pats him on the shoulder to a lot of booing. HHH leaves and Taker looks at the sign again. His music plays us out.

Overall Rating: B. I really liked tonight’s show, but MAN does it take a hit between Miz vs. Kofi and the Cena/Kane fight. That Rock video is way too long and it stops things cold. I really don’t get the point of it either. Who doesn’t know who the Rock is? Even non-wrestling fans know he used to be a wrestler and wrestling fans worship him. Why do we need a 5 minute video on him? Either way, the rest of the show was solid as they’ve turned it on as they always do this time of year.

Results
Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO
Brodus Clay b. Tyler Reks – What The Funk
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Quite the closing segment no?  My take:I was starting to like Ace but his time has kind of come and gone.  I wonder if the whole personal issues thing is going to keep HHH from running Raw and if they’ll just keep Ace on.  Should be interesting and I think we all knew HHH vs. Taker III was coming.  That should be good and hopefully it’s career vs. career.

Your thoughts?

Jericho, Kofi, Miz, Truth, Ziggler and Punk.

No Cena and/or Kane makes this interesting. It must mean a rematch which makes sense because Cena is busy at Mania so there’s no point in going for the title for the most part.

Sure why not. It’s not like the celebrities mean much anyway. Plus it got them legit mainstream exposure so that’s a plus.

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight, even with the Elimination Chamber being in a month and messing things up all over again. The even money is on either Jericho, Orton or Sheamus as the dark horse. This probably marks the only time that he’s ever been considered dark in his life but it’s a special occasion. Oh and there are two world title matches tonight too if you care about that sort of thing. Let’s get to it.

Now we’ve been promised a great main event here tonight. They wouldn’t lie to us. Not a wrestling company.

The opening video is your usual one for something like this: everyone saying they want to go to the Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It says a lot when the Smackdown main event is opening the show. It’s been like 2 years since they’ve gotten a main event. Anyway, Bryan is the champion in case the zombie apocalypse has occurred and you have no access to finding out who champion was and you’ve somehow found my flash drive. Henry legit injured his knee on Smackdown so it should be interesting to see if he does much tonight.

Pin, submission or escape to win. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Bryan goes for a quick escape but the monsters pull him down. Show takes Henry down with a quick shoulder block and then splashes him against the cage. He does it again but I guess he’s not Bobby Lashley as the cage doesn’t break, even on the third attempt. Bryan tries to escape but Show makes the save.

Show takes over and throws Bryan into the cage. The big punch hits the cage and Bryan goes after….the leg. That works about as it does every time you go after a giant’s leg and Show rams him into various things. Bryan kicks him in the knee to take him down and then goes after Bryan. Danny calls for the door to be open but Henry goes for the save. Show kicks Henry in the face to take over again.

Bryan gets thrown into the cage a bunch of times and a hard slam puts him down. Henry comes back as we’re into the regular formula of one guy stays down while the others fight. Mark misses a charge into the cage and Show spears him which Bryan gets two off of. Bryan escapes a chokeslam and tries a LeBell Lock on Show but Henry makes the save. Henry loads up the Slam on Bryan but Show knocks him out with the punch for two as Bryan saves. Bryan goes to escape but Show grabs onto him. After holding on for awhile, Bryan falls down and escapes for the win at 9:13.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and hopefully it gets Bryan away from these monsters. There’s only so much he can do against guys this size without looking ridiculous. They laid around a lot in this but that’s the accepted formula in triple threats. By that I mean one person would stay down for way too long off a basic move but Henry needed the break given his knee. Not bad but it felt like a Smackdown main event instead of a PPV title match.

Bryan does his overblown celebration post match.

Elimination Chamber promo with Amazing Grace playing over Sheamus talking.

Cena video on his mainstream media appearances and international appeal. Basically filler.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly

Title defenses? What are those? I didn’t know Beth was alive anymore. Tamina and Natalya start us off and thankfully it lasts longer than their match this past Friday. Off to Eve who I thought turned heel. Eve does her usual stupid dancing offense and it’s off to Beth. Off to a Bella who gets two and hooks a chinlock. Booker actually asks why Lawler likes the Bellas. Alicia comes in and beats on whichever Bella that is. Does it really even matter? Off to Eve and everyone goes outside where Kelly hits a big dive. Beth slaps her way in and the Glam Slam kills Kelly dead at 5:23.

Rating: D+. The dive was cool and this was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in awhile, but is there any point to this division anymore? That’s the first time I remember seeing Beth in forever and the match was an 8 person tag instead of something for the title. When’s the last time she defended it on TV? Based on what I can find, her last three defenses have been at TLC, Survivor Series and Vengeance.

Video on Ryder being injured.

Ryder is here in a back brace and says he’s here to watch Cena beat Kane up. He runs into Johnny Ace who has a personal room ready for Zack. Eve comes up to run her mouth on Ace and calls him vindictive, pompous and a word I couldn’t understand. Eve wheels him into the dressing room.

John Cena vs. Kane

Mostly booing for Cena here. Cena goes straight for Kane but is taken down quickly. The dueling chants begin and Cena fires off punches, knocking Kane to the floor. They brawl outside and Kane goes knee first into the steps. AA doesn’t work as Cena falls forward. Off to the chinlock and the match slows way down. Cena fights up and we get the boo/yay punch sequence. Uppercut by Kane gets two as does a suplex and it’s back to the chinlock.

Cena fights up and makes a comeback but Kane punches him right back down. A corner splash hits Cena but the second is countered by a drop toehold into the middle buckle. The idea is that Cena can’t really hurt Kane, as in the story to almost all of Kane’s matches. Cena counters the smother into a Crossface. Kane escapes and a side slam gets two for the masked man. The top rope clothesline puts Cena down and here comes the chokeslam. Cena ducks it and tries his shoulder blocks but Kane pops up. ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Kane pops up and kicks him back down.

They go to the corner and Cena knocks him off. Cena hits a top rope Five Knuckle Shuffle and tries the AA but Kane escapes. Cena goes for the knee and tries the STF but gets kicked to the floor. Kane rams him into the apron and they fight up the ramp for the double countout. I forgot to time it but it ran roughly 15 minutes.

Rating: D+. Very slow match here and pretty boring. The idea that Cena can’t hurt Kane got boring quickly and the ending didn’t help things at all. I don’t really get where they’re going with this, but I’d assume it’s going towards something about Cena being evil but rising above it. Just dull for the most part and the same stuff done over and over again.

Cena rams something that looked like equipment into Kane and they go into the backstage area. Kane is sent into trashcans which doesn’t really stop him. The Big Fried Freak grabs a chair and pops Cena with it about four times. Wouldn’t you know it we’re right next to Ryder’s dressing room? Kane goes in and smothers Ryder into presumably death.

Kane comes back out with Ryder in the wheelchair. He wheels Ryder into the ring and here’s Eve to try to make the save. This goes about as well as you would think and Ryder gets tombstoned. Cena finally comes back to fight Kane but walks into a chokeslam. Kane leaves and Ryder gets taken out on a stretcher.

Don’t Be A Bully.

Same kind of video on Rock from earlier. He talks about his movie and this is just eating up time.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

Remember what I said about filler? Brodus dances and jiggles as Drew hits him. A headbutt to the chest puts Drew down and there’s the suplex. I know because Brodus said suplex right before he hit it. Splash in the corner and What The Funk ends this in 1:15.

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler. Punk has been screwed by Johnny Ace multiple times now and keeps calling him a failure and all those things. Ace has finally said that he’s going to screw Punk as he’s the guest referee. He’s being evaluated tomorrow night so the question is will he screw Punk because he’s got nothing to lose or will he play it fair?

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Johnny Ace is referee. Actually scratch that as he says he’ll be outside referee and there will be a regular one in the ring. We get big match intros as we should. Punk gets a nice reaction. Before the bell, Ace comes in and throws Vickie out. My goodness they’re actually following continuity! Punk won a match a few weeks ago that ensured Vickie wouldn’t be out here if you remember that.

Ziggler goes for a quick Fameasser and Punk goes for a quick GTS which both miss. Ace is texting already. They start with a nice sequence of counters and avoiding moves. This is going to be a chess match. Sunset flip gets two for the champ and he tries the Vice but Ziggy gets to the ropes. Punk takes it to the mat quickly and we go outside. Punk gets in a few shots and goes up top back in but Ziggler knocks him off for two. The champ is holding his neck.

Neckbreaker puts Punk down and Ziggler drops about ten elbows, finishing with a jumping elbow for a one count. Off to a chinlock for a few moments. Punk fights up and they slug it out. Ziggler grabs a sleeper which Punk reverses into an Anaconda attempt. Back to the sleeper but it’s not all the way on. Ziggler rolls off and a dropkick gets two. He tries a running Fameasser but gets caught in a helicopter bomb for two.

Punk fires off strikes and a swinging neckbreaker to put Dolph down. There are the knee and bulldog and Punk has the fire in his eyes. GTS is countered into a catapult but Punk lands on the middle rope. Ziggler rolls through a cross body for two with tights. Punk gets a running boot for a delayed two. This has been FAR better than any other match tonight. Punk slams him to set up the elbow but stops because it’s near Ace. He goes up anyway and the elbow gets two. It also draws a Randy Savage chant and a smile from me.

Another GTS attempt is countered by Ziggler and Punk is shoved into the referee. Ace tries to wake him up and Punk gets the Vice. Ziggler taps but there’s no referee because Ace is trying to revive him. Punk lets it go and yells at Ace. Ziggler rolls him up but Punk reverses into a rollup of his own. It would get three but there’s still no referee. John rolls the referee back in and keeps checking on him.

Punk finally shoves Ace and yells at him. Ziggler tries to jump him but gets caught in the GTS. Ace gets knocked down by Dolph’s feet and thinks Punk intentionally hit him. There’s STILL no referee to count the pin, but he’s on his knees now. Ace won’t count so Punk says the next GTS is for him. Punk loads up another GTS on Ziggler but Dolph counters into a Fameasser in a SWEET counter but it only gets two.

Ziggler is back into it now and he pounds away at Punk like there’s no tomorrow. The regular referee is back up now. Here comes the Zig Zag but Punk catches it into a slingshot. GTS hits but Ace comes in and….counts the pin along with the regular referee so that Punk wins at 14:42.

Rating: B. Not a classic or anything but it was by far the best match of the night and a great breath of air to this horrible show. Punk and Ziggler are just great together and in the match, everything made perfect sense. Ace didn’t see who hit him and that it was an accident so he was justifiably mad. He spent a lot of time with the referee but there never was any actual cheating.

Ace hands the referee the belt so Punk can take it. He applauds Punk as well.

Ad for WWE on Youtube which will have 9 original shows apparently. It debuts Wednesday.

Rumble by the Numbers promo.

Royal Rumble

Miz is #1 and he has the AWESOME white balloons to go through. Elimination Chamber is in three weeks. My goodness. Alex Riley is second in a nice twist. Miz takes him down in the corner and Booker is talking about royal jelly. Riley throws him to the apron but Miz lands on the apron. Riley charges like an idiot and is out before #3 comes in. Third is R-Truth and I’m so glad they’re not calling this random anymore. It would just be laughable.

Truth puts him on the apron as well but Miz gets back in. The Finale is escapes but the Little Jimmy is avoided. Truth tries….something that I think was suppsed to be a forward suplex but turned into a powerslam. Miz is thrown to the apron and Cody is #4. Cody hits a quick Beautiful Disaster and then teams up with Miz to work on Truth. Cody takes awhile working on Truth and is thrown to the apron but he hangs on.

Miz takes Truth down with a neckbreaker and Cody gets back in. #5 is Justin Gabriel and he goes up top to take the heels out with a cross body. Flying shoulder takers Miz down and a Blue Thunder Bomb does the same to Cody. The clock seems to be going very quickly. Miz is put down again by a spinwheel kick but Cody gets in a shot to slow Gabriel down. The feuds pair off with Justin and Cody trading chops.

Primo is #6 and unfortunately there’s no Rosa. He actually cleans house with clotheslines and martial arts. He takes all four guys down and never gets hit at all. A NICE headscissors puts Justin down and Cody misses Beautiful Disaster to Truth. The spinning forearm takes Cody down but Miz throws Truth out. Truth pulls Miz out and hits a Little Jimmy on the floor, but Miz went under the ropes so he’s not eliminated.

In at #7 is MICK FOLEY! He, ahem, “runs” to the ring and takes Primo down quickly. Officially there are 5 people in at the moment but Miz is on the floor. Primo charges and gets backdropped out and is eliminated by Mick. Cody jumps Foley as Justin takes a breather. There’s a Bang Bang knee in the corner. Double Arm DDT takes Cody down and Justin helps with the elimination attempt.

Alberto Del…..and never mind it’s Ricardo at #8. In a hilarious bit, he comes out in a rusted out 80s car with a Hefty bag covering a busted out window. He’s in the scarf and tights also. This is GREAT. Justin and Foley are stunned. There’s a Ricardo chant. He runs around for awhile and actually puts Justin out as Foley stands there. Santino is #9 as we’re in the comedy portion of the Rumble. Cody is still down in the corner and Miz is on the mat.

Ricardo comes right at Santino but runs from the Cobra being teased. Santino beats up Ricardo for a bit, gives him a wedgie, and tosses him. Foley and Santino are the only ones left and I kid you not: it’s Socko vs. the Cobra. They circle each other with their hand puppets on and this is hilarious. Epico is in at #10. Cobra, Socko, bye bye. The Cobra and Sock collide and it’s hilarious still.

Miz gets back in to fight Foley as Cody tosses Santino. Socko to Miz but Cody comes from behind to toss him. Miz and Cody are the only ones in now but Kofi comes in at #11 to keep them from fighting. Kofi does the running dive through the ropes into a clothesline to take Cody down. He speeds things way up and hits a springboard double clothesline and a double Boom Drop. Miz is thrown to the apron but Cody makes the save.

A dropkick from Cody puts Kofi down and the clock is already ticking again. In at #12 is….JERRY LAWLER!!! That was a nice surprise and he ducks a right hand from Miz. Both heels go down from right hands and dropkicks. A slam puts Miz down and Lawler drops the strap and hits the middle rope punch, but Cody puts him out with little effort. Still though that was a cool surprise.

It’s Kofi, Cody, Miz and now Big Zeke Jackson with new tights at #13. King is back on commentary and at least he lasted longer than he did in 1997 I believe. Zeke pounds on everyone but doesn’t try to eliminate anyone until Jinder Mahal comes in to bore us #14. Cole tries to make us care by talking about the color of his head wrap which isn’t a turban apparently. He takes forever to get in so Zeke beats on everyone for awhile. The fans chant USA, so I guess they don’t like Zeke and Kofi and are supporting Cody and Miz?

We hit the halfway point as Great Khali is #15. Jinder is a little nervous. I forgot he existed so I guess the Hall of Pain was effective. Khali chops everyone and Jinder is easily tossed after trying to fight back. Jackson goes after Khali but takes a chop of his own. A clothesline puts Jackson out. It’s Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Khali in at the moment and we’ve had 11 eliminations and 15 entrants.

Cody is dropped onto the apron by Kofi. Here’s #16 in the form of Hunico on a tricked out lowrider bike. Camacho is with him but leaves. A nice spinning springboard cross body takes Kofi down and things speed up. He hits his modified Angle Slam on Cody but is quickly chopped down. We’re about 24 minutes in and already at #17, which is BOOKER T! Sorry but you have to shout when any old person is in these things. Internet policy don’t you know.

Booker hammers on everyone but Khali stares him down. Booker goes at him and is chopped down quickly. The ring is at its fullest so far I believe with six guys in it. Khali chops Rhodes in the corner and Miz throws Kofi to the apron. He skins the cat but Miz kicks him down. Kofi lands in a handstand and WALKS BACKWARDS ON HIS HANDS TO GET TO THE STEPS! That was INCREDIBLE!!!

Dolph Ziggler is in at #18 and goes after the guy that has easily just trumped the wall climb by Morrison. Not much happens until Jim Duggan is #19, getting one of the best reactions of the night. There are seven or eight in there at the moment: Duggan, Khali, Hunico, Rhodes, Miz, Kingston, Booker and Ziggler. So it’s 8 and we’ve had 19 entrants and 11 eliminations. Duggan gets in some shots but Rhodes puts him out with a clothesline to the back.

Khali, Ziggler and Cody team up to put out Booker but Khali goes out instead. #20 is….Michael Cole. There’s your gimmick for the Rumble. And he has the wrestling gear on. How does the screening process for these entrants go? We keep the camera on him for far too long as we now have Cole, Miz, Kofi, Cody, Hunico and Ziggler in now. Cody tries to put Ziggler out as Cole dances around. If JR is in this thing I’ll need a stiff drink. #21 is…..Kharma! Wow she’s back early but they’ve been playing up the whole only two women ever thing.

She goes right after Cole and runs him over so hard the headgear comes off. Cole jumps over the top rope to the apron as Booker and Lawler jump up to eliminate him. Ziggler goes after Kharma who plants her with the Implant Buster. She throws Hunico WAY up and out. Ziggler dumps her but that was awesome. Ok so we now have Ziggler, Cody, Miz and Kofi in there. Good to see the young guys getting their chance.

#22 is Sheamus and the place goes nuts. He’s in red now. House is cleaned with everyone but Kofi getting hit. Powerslam to Ziggler and one for Miz as well. He goes after Kofi as well as Cole gives us stats on the announcers. Sheamus dumps Kofi to get us down to three in the ring at the moment. There are the ten forearms to Cody and ten for Miz as well. #23 is the Road Dogg to very little reaction.

He hammers on everyone in sight and hits the three punches and dance. There’s the Shake Rattling Kneedrop which has a name that I don’t remember. Pumphandle slam takes Miz down and the fans chant You Still Got It. Jey Uso is #24 but Jimmy is in street clothes so it’ll just be one. He superkicks Miz as Vickie screams. The Umaga running hip shot hits Roadie and Ziggler is draped on the ropes. It’s Miz, Sheamus, Jey Uso, Road Dogg, Ziggler and Cody at the moment. We’ve had 18 eliminated and 24 entrants so far.

#25 is Jack Swagger. He and Ziggler hook up and it’s Barrett at #26 with new music. Barrett dumps Road Dogg and gets in a fight with Sheamus. #27, the lucky number, is David Otunga. Well so much for it being lucky this year. He takes forever to get to the ring as we have I think 8 people in there right now. Otunga legitimately won a case in court earlier this week so at least he has something to fall back on.

The ring is pretty full here as we wait on Orton to clear them out. There’s him, Jericho and one other spot that I can’t think of to go. There are eight in at the moment but I’ll wait until #30 gets in to recap them. #28 is Orton and the place goes banana. Orton runs people over and hits a Thesz Press on Barrett. He cleans house but Rhodes jumps him. Orton puts him in Elevated DDT position but has to fight Ziggler off. We get a double DDT instead. Ok then.

Orton tosses Uso then RKOs Barrett to toss him out. #29 is Chris Jericho so who’s #30. This could be very interesting. Jericho goes after everyone and tosses Otunga. We have Swagger, Sheamus, Jericho, Ziggler, Orton, Rhodes and Miz. Here’s #30 and it’s……Big Show. Well that’s kind of a letdown but it’s a good place for a giant. Sheamus throws Swagger out as Show gets in.

The final group: Orton, Sheamus, Jericho, Miz, Cody, Ziggler and Big Show. He puts out Miz and Cody on his own to get us down to five. There goes Ziggler to get us down to the final four. There’s plenty of time left as it’s only 10:37 and the show has been going on a little over 45 minutes. Everyone takes a corner and they all go after Big Show. He throws them off with ease but an RKO puts him down. Orton tosses Show by himself and Jericho tosses Orton.

It’s Sheamus vs. Jericho and they circle each other before going at it. This is kind of a surprising final pairing even though they were some of the early favorites. Jericho is in long tights too. Booker thinks Sheamus winning the Rumble would do something for his career. You can’t buy analysis like this people. Missile dropkick puts Sheamus down. Irish Curse looks to set up the Celtic Cross but Jericho escapes and puts Sheamus on the apron. Jericho kicks him down but Sheamus hooks the rope with his leg. He hits the slingshot to get back in and we keep going.

Sheamus puts Jericho into the apron but the Brogue Kick misses. Jericho gets back in and hooks the Walls of Jericho which Lawler questions the use of but it wore Sheamus down I guess. Jericho sets for a clothesline but Sheamus backdrops him to the apron. Chris hangs on and they go to the corner. Jericho has still gone over the top remember. Sheamus is knocked off and crotched so they’re both on the apron after having gone over the top. And they’re both back in so we continue. This final part has been good so far.

Codebreaker takes Sheamus down and Jericho tries to choke Sheamus over the top. For some reason he slaps Sheamus which is just freaking stupid. Jericho tries to fight back but the Codebreaker is countered and Sheamus sits him on the ropes. Jericho hangs on but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down and wins the Rumble at 54:48.

Rating: B+. Very good Rumble with a great variety of comedy and wrestling to make it work. It felt somewhat formula based at times but everything in WWE does anymore. It was fun though and it seems that they’re pushing someone new (kind of) for a change which is the best you can ask for in these things.

Overall Rating: B-. Well the final two matches saved it but the first hour of so of this was AWFUL. That being said, the whole point of the show is the Rumble and that was great so I can’t complain about the overall show all that much. A good Rumble can save a show, and it plus the Raw Title match did here. Good show, but only because they have a nearly hour long match to cover up the first hour being awful.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Mark Henry and Big Show – Bryan escaped the cage
Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Eve Torres – Glam Slam to Kelly
John Cena vs. Kane went to a double countout
Brodus Clay b. Drew McIntyre – What The Funk
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Sheamus won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Chris Jericho

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

I’m happy.

Thoughts?

It’s more likely than it was. Check back.

Please?

First and foremost, remember that I likely (as in extremely likely) won’t have a live review up for the Rumble. It’ll probably be later in the week. I’ll get something up on it, if nothing else my thoughts on the winners. On with the preview!I’ll take Bryan to retain.  Him losing seems too easy to be reality.

I have a feeling that it’ll be Ziggler getting the title.  Monday will either be a swerve or Ace will think he’s fired no matter what and will screw Punk no matter what.

For the Rumble itself……the even money is on Orton but I’m going to pick Punk.  No idea how or why, but that’s my instinct.

Any predictions/thoughts?