Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2012
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s another Monday and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have no idea that the Rumble was less than two weeks away. Has any Raw guy mentioned being in the Rumble at all? We’ve had nothing but the Cena vs. Kane stuff with Ryder running scared. Ryder defends the US Title tonight and for some reason Perez Hilton is here. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is about Martin Luther King.

Let’s Burn It To The Ground.

Here’s Foley to open the show. He talks about enjoying being a non physical presence, including hosting This Is Your Life John Cena. However, his kids got to see him perform, (including being in the main event of Wrestlemania in this arena). He does have two other kids though, who haven’t seen him perform. Due to that, he’s entering the Rumble.

Cue Vickie and Ziggler. Ziggler yells at him about taking up a spot in the Rumble from someone else that could use it more. Foley says it might be a huge mistake but he’ll be there to win it. Ziggler talks about everything he’s done to get to this point in his career and how he can’t imagine facing someone fat like Foley at Mania for his world title. He tells Foley to go home, get a new shirt, eat a salad and go home.

Cue Punk who is glad to see Foley. Punk says that he and Foley are a lot alike in that they’re unconventional and don’t look like the rest of the WWE roster. He makes fun of Ziggler’s look and Ace in general. They get in an argument with Vickie and here’s Ace. He says he’ll be fair at the Rumble and says he’ll consider Foley in the Rumble. After about 2 seconds, he says no. Vickie laughs at him and that’s it.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom

Neither team even gets intros. Great to see how well the new champs are treated. We actually get clips of the title change last night. There’s a fortune to be made in filming house show stuff and releasing like 3 hours of it for ten bucks on DVD or WWE.com or something. The matches are already there anyway so just film them. Epico vs. Bourne to start us off.

Bourne hits an awesome standing rana to Epico off the top to send him into Primo. Off to Kofi who cleans a house that wasn’t very dirty in the first place. Boom Drop gets two and it’s Trouble in Paradise time, but Primo breaks it up. The kick hits Epico a second later but the Shooting Star takes too long to hit. Backstabber keeps the titles on the champs at 2:20.

Ace is in the back when Otunga comes in. He hands Ace an envelope which isn’t spoken of again. Someone comes in and Ace puts him in the main event: a six man with Bryan/Punk vs. Otunga/Ziggler/Henry. It’s Jericho, who turns off the lights, turns on the jacket, and poses.

The envelope that Otunga handed Ace was a doctor’s update on Ryder. We go to the back where Ryder is with Eve. His ribs are all taped up. Josh comes up and they say that he’s in no condition to compete. He says he won’t forfeit the title and Eve says she’ll go with him.

We get a video from last week about Kane/Ryder/Cena and all that stuff.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder’s offense can’t do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder’s ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb…and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.

After a break Ace says that Ryder wasn’t medically cleared. And that’s it.

Great and no it’s Hilton time. He’s booed out of the freaking building. Thank you Anaheim.

Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox vs. Bella Twins

Perez breaks up Twin Magic and Kelly gets a rollup at 55 seconds. GET RID OF THIS DIVISION ALREADY.

Rumble moment: 92 with Flair’s marathon. Heenan’s reaction to Flair being #3 is left out here for no apparent reason.

Here’s Truth but before he can say anything cue Barrett. Barrett: “R-Truth…if that’s even your real name.” Ok that made me smile. Truth is officially in the Rumble and Foley isn’t. Truth says Barrett talks funny. The fans are allowed to WHAT him. Truth went to Disneyland this morning and it made him smile. He has a slideshow to show us. First of all he met Mickie and Minnie. And Donald Duck.

Then he met Pinocchio who said Barrett is winning the Rumble. The picture of Pinocchio’s nose grows. Truth: “I don’t even know if that’s PG.” Truth bashes Barrett when Miz jumps him. Sheamus makes the save. Cue Teddy who is here because….I have no idea. Let’s have an over the top rope challenge.

Sheamus vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett

After the feuds pair off, everyone joins up to throw out Barrett. Truth and Sheamus get into it but Miz takes them both down. Sheamus “hits” three double axes (and by that I mean they missed by six inches each) and the forearms to the chest. Brogue Kick misses and Miz can’t knock him out. Sheamus tries to put him out but Truth throws them both out to win at 5:10.

Rating: D. The match was just there but the point was to remind people that the Rumble is actually happening. Not bad and nice to play up the anyone can win aspect. Barrett going out first like that was kind of surprising. Still though, it was nothing special, but it wasn’t really supposed to be.

Miz gets his head kicked off post match.

Cena comes in to yell at Ace who makes Cena vs. Kane for the PPV. Cena vs. Swagger is…next?

Jack Swagger vs. John Cena

Cena takes his head off before the bell even rings. Out to the floor and Cena keeps destroying him. The bell never rang and Cena beats the tar out of him. Let me guess: embrace the hate right? Cena sets to crush Swagger’s skull with the steps but cue Kane’s pyro and music. Kane pops up on the monitor and says Cena will have embraced the hate by the Rumble. You know, because Cena has NEVER been violent or aggressive before right? Give me a break. There was no match.

Here’s Brodus who has a new intro with I’m assuming his dancing chicks talking about how he’s the only Funkasaurus in captivity.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

JTG gets molested but he does manage to get in a punch. Brodus does his chatting during the match. Corner splash sets up the cross body and we’re done at 1:09. The finisher is called Funky. Ok then.

We recap Show running over AJ last week.

Here’s Bryan for an update on her. He runs down Big Show for what happened and says they were fake tears. Show should never show his face on Smackdown. Violence is threatened if he does appear. Bryan is dedicating his match Friday to AJ.

Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry/David Otunga

Punk vs. Ziggler gets us going. The champ takes over to start and a snap suplex gets two. Off to Bryan who might have tweeked his knee. Ziggler DDTs it and it’s off to Otunga. Bryan takes a beating but it’s off to Punk vs. Otunga. Notice that Jericho hasn’t been in there yet. Ziggy comes back in and stomps away on the champ. Punk gets in a shot and Jericho wants in but Ziggler stops it and it’s back to Otunga.

Naturally Punk beats him down, hits the Macho Elbow and it’s off to Jericho. Jericho plays to the crowd instead of going after Otunga though….and tags out to Bryan, walks up the ramp, and leaves. We take a break as no one is quite sure what’s going on. Back with Bryan in trouble and it’s off to Punk quickly. He hits the springboard clothesline but Henry comes in. Everything breaks down and Bryan pops Henry, but Mark screams at him. Bryan hobbles away and they fight up the aisle.

Ok so it’s 2-1 now more or less. Henry is beating Bryan up….and here’s Foley? The fans seemingly boo this out of the building but it’s hard to tell. Fameasser gets two on Punk. Punk gets in a kick and it’s off to Foley who gets a pop so I must have misunderstood the reaction earlier. He destroys Otunga and hits the running knee in the corner. Double arm DDT hits and it’s Socko! It gets the win at 14:43.

Rating: C. Well that was a mess. Foley and Punk are announced as the winners and I have no idea how you get to that conclusion. Either way, the match was a mess with a bunch of stuff with some wrestling thrown in. I really don’t get what they were going with here but it continues the working theme that nothing has much of a plan that I can see.

Ace comes out post match and reverses the decision. Punk gets in his face and says the reason Ace doesn’t like Punk is because Ace never was anything but a look. He was the brother of a Road Warrior but he was nothing more than roadkill. It kills Ace that he never made it to this level as a competitor. Punk swears he’s going to get cheated at the Rumble because Ace can’t stand that Punk is the champion. No matter what, Punk will still be better than Ace because the people will be talking about Ace for the first time, but it’ll be because Punk is going to destroy him. Punk fakes him out with a punch and calls Ace pathetic.

Punk leaves and Foley gets Ace a very funny double thumbs up. Ace is ticked off but we’re not done yet. He says he’ll be the future permanent GM of Raw and he won’t be intimidated by Punk. Foley says just admit that you’re going to screw Punk. He calls Ace a sycophant, which is New York Times bestsellerish for kiss-up. Ace wants to know who Foley thinks he is. He admits he’s going to screw Punk because he’s tired of being bullied because he’s not appreciated for putting on the best shows he can. He hits Foley with the mic

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this show tonight. I’ve certainly seen worse, but the booking ticked me off. The whole US Title changing hands is stupid as they had Ryder get one of the most unique pushes ever and then he loses the title less than a month later? WHY? Anyway other than that (and the announcers being more excited about Perez Hilton than a title change), the show was just kind of there. They’ve barely built up to the Rumble at all which is pretty stupid, but hey it’s not like PPV means anything anymore right? It’s about TV ratings and that’s it it seems. The ending however helped the title scene A LOT.

Results
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Rollup to Brie Bella
R-Truth b. The Miz, Sheamus and Wade Barrett in an over the top rope challenge
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Funky
Dolph Ziggler/David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Chris Jericho via DQ when Mick Foley interfered

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Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2012
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Another Friday, another Smackdown. The main event tonight is Show vs. Bryan again, but this time it’s no DQ and no countout. They’re stacking the deck against Bryan, but that means he’ll probably escape with the title as that’s how most of these matches work on these big TV shows. Should be interesting though. Let’s get to it.

They do the thing where the show starts with what seems like a promo.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Perez Hilton, who WWE.com says will be refereeing a match on Raw.

Lillian opens the show by bringing out Daniel Bryan. The fans don’t seem thrilled to see him. He’s being booed now but it’s not full blown yet. Once he talks about Big Show and defeating him last week it is though. Bryan says the fans on the message rooms and chatrooms (seriously?) because those people saying that he goaded Henry into doing that are wrong.

Bryan calls for Henry’s suspension for ruining the match and here’s Henry in the flesh. He yells at Bryan and says he had a meeting with Teddy as well. Due to Bryan goading him, he’s banned from ringside tonight. Bryan says that’s good so Henry calls him Tiny Tim. If Henry stays out of it tonight, he gets a shot next week.

Kofi says don’t try this at home, school or anywhere.

Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater

This is due to Gabriel making the save last week after Slater attacked Hornswoggle. They speed things up to start as Booker says Slater is just some guidance away from being something special. Gabriel kicks him in the face to take over but walks into a neckbreaker for two. Slater goes up but Horny’s music hits. The distraction lets Gabriel knock him down so that the 450 can get Gabriel the win at 2:46.

Bryan is warming up when AJ comes up. She’s proud of him and says she loves him. She leaves and Bryan seems pleased.

The Rumble Moment is from 1998 with Austin winning his first.

Here’s Cody to make fun of the people in Laredo only speaking Spanish. He wants to remind everyone that he’s been IC Champion for five months, which is cinco if the people are confused. He lists off some names he’s been champion longer than. Cody says he’s going to pull an Ultimate Warrior (which could mean a lot of things. His words, not mine) but he means being a double champion. He officially announces that he’s in the Rumble.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes over to start and Cole gets into it with Booker in possibly record time. Rhodes stomps him down and Josh does his usual job of getting us back on track by asking Booker what his thoughts are on Cody’s plans to be a double champion. Booker says good luck and it’s back to him vs. Cole. Total squash as the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes end this at 2:15.

You still shouldn’t try this at home.

Edge’s HOF video.

Santino is giving Teddy some new match ideas. A cage match with a giant cage with a medium cage inside and a small cage inside of that. Santino’s next idea is to go back and reverse Jack Tunney’s decision about allowing reptiles at ringside. Teddy has no idea what he’s talking about so Otunga pops up. They talk about the Rumble and David is here to get the names of the Smackdown guys in the Rumble. This turns into Santino vs. Otunga later. They leave and someone knocks. Teddy thinks it’s Aksana but it’s McIntyre. Teddy says he’s getting close to being fired so win tonight. Drew tries to talk but gets thrown out.

Drew McIntyre vs. Ted DiBiase

Hunico and Camaco on the BICYCLE OF DEATH come out pre match. Drew hits a very fast big boot for two. Hunico jumps in on commentary as Drew is knocked to the floor where DiBiase hits a nice suicide dive. Drew takes over again and I think Camacho is on commentary as well. Hunico says DiBiase should have one of his parties in the barrio. DiBiase comes back with the following clothesline for two. Ted jumps into a punch which gets two for McIntyre. Camacho says Hunico saved his life in the barrio which is why Camacho hangs out with him. Drew gets crotched on the top and Dream Street ends this at 3:46.

Rating: D+. Nothing here but the main idea was to have Hunico and Camacho further the story with Ted which is fine. Not a great match or anything but it did its job and that’s all it needed to do. I’m still amazed at how far Drew has fallen since he was so dominant for so long. It really goes to show you what getting beaten up by a blonde in a hotel room can do to your career.

Video on Wade Barrett’s career accomplishments thus far.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal says something we can’t understand but apparently it translates to he’s going to win the Rumble. Sheamus pounds him into the corner, beating him like a stepchild as he’s done in almost all of their matches. He loads up the Cross but Jinder rolls to the floor. Slingshot shoulder gets two. There are the forearms in the ropes but Mahal gets in an elbow to escape. A jumping knee to the face gets one. Neckbreaker gets two and there’s the chinlock. Sheamus powers out of it and now hits the forearms. Top rope shoulder puts Jinder down and the Brogue Kick ends this at 3:53.

Rating: D+. For the life of me I do not understand what they want to do with Mahal. They had him run through jobbers to start, then they had him come back against DiBiase now they have him get built up for a bit but Sheamus beats him about 4 times in about 15 minutes combined. I don’t get it. This was just a step above a squash.

The referee is talking to Show in the back. Show says he knows the rules and everything is cool. Cue AJ who comes up to Show’s nipples. She’s worried about Daniel but Show says he’s not out to hurt Daniel. Bryan pops up and accuses Show of trying to steal his girl. Show says the title has changed Bryan and he’s not sure if it’s for the better. After tonight, that won’t be a problem. Show leaves and Bryan asks AJ if Show intimidated her. AJ says no and Bryan says he won’t let anything happen to her.

Don’t be a bully.

Another Rumble Moment: HHH wins in 2002.

Santino Marella vs. David Otunga

I don’t see the string of short matches being broken here. They go to the mat quickly with Santino being in control. Otunga takes him down and yells a lot but gets rolled up for two. An elbow drop gets two for David. Santino comes back with his usual stuff but the Cobra is blocked. Otunga grabs him into a fireman’s carry but tilts him down, driving him into kind of a reverse Emerald Flowsion. Imagine the same style move but starting in a Samoan Drop position instead of a powerslam position. Either way it gets the pin at 2:12.

The Horsemen are going to the HOF.

Still don’t try this at home. They’re drilling this into us tonight. Not a bad thing but they’re saying it a lot.

Raw ReBound eats up some time. Ryder isn’t severely hurt. Thank goodness.

IT’S FUNKASAURUS TIME!!!

Brodus Clay vs. Tyson Kidd

He gets the same entrance as on Raw, and the biggest thing he’s got going for him: he’s giving this everything he’s got. That sentence took longer than the match. Cross body and we’re done in 12 seconds. Literally, that’s it. You can’t say he’s forgettable.

Teddy is dancing to Clay’s song when Aksana comes in. She asks about the show in Vegas next week and Teddy implies stuff happening there. She wants to go to the roulette tables so she can hit on black. That chokes Teddy up but he says he’s fine.

Video on Santino, who is apparently tough.

Another Rumble video, this time on Shawn.

Tamina vs. Natalya

Natalya starts fast with a slap and suplex for two. Samoan drop, Superfly Splash, pin at 56 seconds. WHY DO THEY BOTHER WITH THESE THINGS???

As Tamina is leaving, Barrett comes out. I don’t think they’re related though. He says he’s not impressed by Sheamus, that he’ll win the Rumble, and God save the Queen. And that’s it. Ok then.

Same Kofi promo from earlier. That’s 4 times tonight.

Sheamus vs. Barrett next week, along with Henry’s title shot.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan

No DQ and no countout here with Henry getting the winner next week. AJ comes out too and my goodness she looks good. Bryan offers a handshake but Show gorilla presses him instead. There are the chops in the corner and a big toss. Bryan can sell quite well. Bryan gets in a few kicks in the corner but as he goes up, Show spears him out of the air and Bryan falls to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Show putting Bryan on the table and slapping him hard. Bryan manages to get a chair and hit about ten shots. Show shrugs them off and gets the chair. Bryan looks TERRIFIED. Show is smiling and the fans are cheering for him. Bryan manages to knock him off the apron and hit a few more shots but Show knocks it away again like it’s nothing. Back in the ring more kicks don’t do much to Show. A DDT onto the chair gets two and a power kickout from Show. Show slaps Bryan’s chest and takes over again.

Chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a chop block. Back to the chair but Show punches it back, sending it partially into Bryan’s face. They go outside and Show sets up the announce table. Bryan breaks up the chokeslam and hits about 4 more chair shots, bringing the total up to around 20. He tries the running knee off the apron but jumps into a chop. Bryan runs and Show accidentally runs over AJ. The match is stopped and we’re done at roughly 8:15 shown of roughly 11:45.

Rating: C-. I liked the idea here, but at the end of the day we got the point about halfway through this: Bryan can’t hurt Show no matter what he does to him. After we established that, they basically did the same thing over and over again. It wasn’t a bad match, but it was repetitive. That’s what I was kind of worried about when this feud started.

AJ goes out on a stretcher. Show looks like he’s about to cry. It didn’t look like there was a ton of contact but the size difference makes up for it I guess. Bryan rips into Show, yelling about how the title isn’t worth this and calls Show a bastard. But did Show’s mama say so? Show is distraught to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. One thing Smackdown is really good at: they cover A LOT of stuff in one show. There were 8 matches, and yes most of them were really short, but it’s an old school style as it allows them to cover a bunch of stories in one show. With the Rumble coming up, most of the roster is only really going to be able to say that they’re going to win the Rumble and that’s about it. The PPV will be about four matches long so most of the people have no reason to get into major stories, which is fine. Good show, but the short matches got a bit annoying.

Results
Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater – 450 Splash
Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes
Ted DiBiase b. Drew McIntyre – Dream Street
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick
David Otunga b. Santino Marella – Over the shoulder piledriver
Brodus Clay b. Tyson Kidd – Cross body
Tamina b. Natalya – Superfly Splash
Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan went to a no contest

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But wouldn’t the ending mean that Hardy won by DQ and therefore is champion???

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s after Genesis now so it basically means a new day for TNA. Roode is still champion, Angle tied up the series with Storm, no titles changed, and basically the whole show didn’t change anything. Against All Odds is next and we have probably even more rematches to look forward to. Anyway, hopefully things are a little more interesting in the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Genesis where Roode kept the title via getting himself disqualified.

Here’s Roode who says he’s the most dominant champion ever and that he’s beaten everyone put in front of him. He wants Hardy to come out and shake his hand but gets Sting instead. Sting talks to Roode like he’s an idiot and says he wants to beat him up. It results in Hardy vs. Roode tonight.

Earlier today, Morgan got here and ran into Crimson. Crimson says he got a Direct Auto Insurance policy. Are you kidding me? They have a match tonight too against the Robs.

Robbie E/Robbie T vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here. Crimson starts off with E so it’s off to T quickly. And then T runs him over and it’s back to E. Crimson and Morgan take turns destroying him. Carbon Footprint takes down T and a double spinebuster ends this in 1:58. Total squash.

Joe and Magnus run out and jump the champs post match.

Eric is here.

We recap Garrett vs. his pappy and Gunner.

Cue Eric to the arena. Eric talks about how it’s not that easy to be a wrestler. You have to have talent to go with the chance. Eric may have made everything he’s done look easy, but it doesn’t work that way. Garrett comes out and says he’s not quitting because his dad says so. He lists off the top guys that he’s learning from and says he’s going to stick with this. Garrett says he isn’t going to quit and that he has a new trainer who is going to shock Eric. Garrett goes to leave but Eric stops him. The sonny grabs him by the neck and says never touch him again.

Angelina and Winter say they need to remind people who they are.

We recap ODB and Eric. Oh joy. They’re in the back and she says it was a one time thing.

Winter vs. ODB

Eric is doing his usual insane stuff. ODB chest bumps Winter and sends her flying but a Bronco Buster doesn’t hit. Winter puts her in a Tree of Woe. Off to a quick chinlock but ODB comes back with a fallaway slam and nip up….and here’s Eric to give Angelina an airplane spin. TKO beats Winter at 3:32. It’s called the Bam apparently.

Rating: D. Whatever as usual with the girl matches in whatever company they’re in. Eric is so much more bearable when he’s not TV Champion. Or stripping. Not a terrible match but it was there for Eric and that’s about it. Either way, you know the wacky romance is going to continue, but that’s ok I guess.

Here’s AJ who wants to talk to Kaz. It doesn’t take long for him to get here and AJ is mad. He wants to know why Kaz turned on him. Kaz was supposed to be the level headed one and the calm one. This happened last year with Daniels, so why is it happening here? AJ keeps yelling and Kaz says he can’t tell him. Daniels pops up and says he can. He says he’s tired of Kaz carrying AJ and that AJ is a lost cause. Daniels tells Kaz to leave which he does, so AJ CHUCKS the mic (from like two and a half feet) at Daniels and the beatdown is on. Kaz pulls him to safety but doesn’t look happy that he did so.

Ray and Roode are in the back and Ray points out that he was trending on Twitter. Roode gives me the high point of his career: saying there are more important things than Twitter. Ray won’t shut up about it while Roode freaks out about the title match later. He says he’ll have Roode’s back in exchange for a shot. Roode agrees, but doesn’t seem sincere.

Here’s Storm and he demands Angle come out, so here’s baldie himself. Storm slaps the mic out of his hand and says Angle cheated, because he’s beaten Angle twice but Kurt had to cheat to beat him. Angle says he’s done with Storm and wants the title. Sting comes out and quickly says in the title match, if Roode gets disqualified he loses the title. Also tonight, it’s the rubber match and the winner gets a title shot in the future.

Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

Angle had only until we came back from a break to get his gear, which he says he doesn’t have. After the break there’s no Kurt. Earl starts the count and Angle makes it in at 9, putting the singlet on as he runs. Storm pounds him down quickly and Angle goes shoulder first into the post. A DDT on the arm gets two. Storm goes after the hand because we’ve always heard about Angle’s grip. Angle tries to roll away and hits the floor where he finally gets in some shots to break the momentum.

Still outside, Angle pops off a belly to belly and we take a break. Back with Angle getting two off something we didn’t see. Snap suplex gets two for Kurt. After more beatings, they both try a cross body to knock them both down. Storm hammers away and hits a Backstabber. A backbreaker sets up the fabled jump into the boot but Storm grabs the foot and puts on the ankle lock. Kurt kicks him off and the Slam gets two. Angle pounds away on Storm and goes outside.

He picks up the beer bottle and brings it in, but Hebner takes it. The distraction lets Kurt spit beer in Storm’s face and the kick to the head, which isn’t super at all, for two. Storm grabs a Codebreaker out of nowhere and the Last Call ends this at 15:57. The ending came out of nowhere. Storm is #1 contender.

Rating: B-. Not as good as their other matches but it picked up a lot after the break. Another clean win over Storm isn’t going to hurt Storm at all though so no complaints there at all. Hopefully this sets up Storm vs. Roode in a big long match, but I have a feeling that’ll be saved for a major show. At least I hope it will.

Tessmacher is in some Hooters pageant.

Sting is at a photo shoot when Madison comes up. She says he can officially make her VP of the Knockouts but he says no. Instead he makes her vs. Mickie next week in a cage.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Roode chills on the floor before the match so Hardy dives on him to take over. Dixie is at ringside. They haven’t both been in the ring yet. Hardy dominates to start but Roode gets in a shot, only to have his piledriver attempt blocked and a slingshot sends him into the post. Twist of Fate is countered but Jeff hits a clothesline and they go in. And there’s the bell? I thought I missed it. Ok so we got three minutes of brawling beforehand. Got it.

Clothesline gets two for Hardy. Roode gets knocked outside again and we take a break. Back with them still on the floor and Hardy trying Poetry in Motion into the railing. He totally crashes and burns, which makes me shake my head when people are surprised that he has a drug problem. Jeff makes it back in at nine so Roode pounds on him even more. Blockbuster gets two. Jeff hits a jawbreaker and Russian legsweep for two. Whisper in the Wind gets two.

Twist is countered into the spinebuster and Roode tries the fisherman’s suplex but Jeff counters into another Twist. Swanton misses and Roode grabs a cover for two. This is getting really good. Twisting Stunner and Twist of Fate set up the Swanton and Roode is in BIG trouble. Hardy covers….and here’s Bully Ray to beat up the referee. The match is thrown out at let’s say 13:00.

Rating: B. Really good TV match here but again, it’s the same match that was at the PPV but better. Why would I want to buy a PPV when I could see this four days later for free? Why couldn’t this match happen at Genesis? I’ll never get parts of this company. Anyway, really good TV match here and I was getting into it before the bad ending.

Overall Rating: B. Good show tonight, but I seriously worry about this company’s long term planning abilities. Storm vs. Angle and Hardy vs. Roode were PPV matches 4 days ago and now they’re given away for free (one of which with a better ending) later in the week? At some point, you’re going to have a problem convincing fans to buy your shows when they could see the same matches with more stipulations later that week.

It’s like they’re trying to pop the TV ratings (which would make more sense if they advertised these matches and waited until next week but whatever) instead of running a regular show. Whatever though, as I’m sure some TNA superfan will explain why I’m crazy. Good show this week, but it was totally lopsided as the first hour was worthless while the second was great.

Results
Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Double spinebuster to Robbie E
ODB b. Winter – The Bam
James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Last Call
Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Bully Ray interfered

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And I’m sure people still want to turn him heel right?  I’ll never get some people.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 2012
Location: American Bank Center Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the week after HE IS HERE and Chris Jericho is back. That being said, I don’t know what to expect from him. Maybe he’ll actually say something this time? Either way, things almost have to be better than they were last week. We’re getting close to Rumble time too which is always interesting. Let’s get to it.

After a video of the ending of last week’s show, here’s Kane to open the show. He says people are wondering why he’s embracing hate, and it’s because the people are in denial. Everyone gets up next to a spouse they can’t stand and go to a job they hate and go home to children who are brats. Everyone has delusions of hope like Cena himself does.

Cena represents hope and success. The people should see Cena as unfulfilled hopes and dreams. The people are all liars when they cheer for Cena because they think cheering for an underdog makes them good. Look at Zack Ryder for example: The people made him a star because he’s an underdog. Last week Kane tried to drag Ryder to the depths but Cena stopped him. That just delayed the inevitable though, because Kane wants consequences.

Cue Cena and it’s a brawl immediately. A clothesline puts Kane outside and they brawl up the aisle. They fight into the back and they’re outside. They’re over a kind of pit which looks to be a few feet deep but you can see the bottom. There’s a production truck and Cena is knocked into some metal stuff next to it. He hits Kane in the leg with a pipe but is knocked into some boxes. He gets up and Kane is gone as we go to a break.

Sheamus/Santino Marella vs. Jinder Mahal/Wade Barrett

All four are officially in the Rumble. The non-main event guys start us off as Cole tries to explain to us what the turban is for because he’s a man of the world or something. Off to the Englishman who beats up the Canditalian who is waiting on the tag to the Irishman so he can hopefully beat up the Indian that he’s mad at. There’s the tag and Sheamus cleans house. Brogue Kick to Mahal and the Cobra gets the pin at 2:52. This was nothing, and Mahal continues to look like nothing compared to Sheamus.

Miz complains to Ace and Otunga about the Truth attacks lately. Brodus is debuting tonight apparently. Miz wants private security but Ace says he’s Big Johnny, not Little Jimmy.

We get a Hall of Fame inductee announced tonight.

The first inductee is…….Edge. We get a video about his career. There’s going to be a second inductee tonight as well. Cool.

Miz is trying to get a bodyguard in the form of Mason Ryan but he gets turned down.

Ryder is on the phone with his dad, talking about how afraid he is of Kane. Eve pops up and he says he’ll beat Kane up later. He’s off the phone and asks Eve for another date. She actually says yes but it’s after her match later. Both of them leave separately and a door opens behind Ryder. Kane pokes his head in and then goes back out as we go to a break.

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Well this is a surprise. This was set up via a video on WWE.com where Kofi questioned Bryan’s methods of winning the world title. I hope they showed that to the live crowd. Bryan’s weight is up to 210lbs so maybe they’re back to faking weights. Kofi hits a springboard cross body for a fast two but Bryan rolls him up for the same. This is non-title if I didn’t mention that. Bryan does his corner moonsault so Kofi comes out of the corner with a cross body. In a SLICK counter, Bryan lands in the LeBell Lock and we’re done at 1:14.

Bryan does the big celebration again post match. And here’s Big Show. He gets in the ring and Bryan begs off, saying he hated the ending to the title match. The title is too important to end like that. He offers Show a title match anytime he wants. Show says Teddy agrees as well, so there’s going to be a title match on Friday, no DQ and no count-outs. Oh dear. They shake hands and Show leaves.

Royal Rumble Moment is the end of 1994 with the double winners.

Justin Roberts introduces Brodus Clay as being from the Planet Funk and being the Funk-o-Saurus. He has dancers and is coming out to ERNEST MILLER’S WWE music. WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I WATCHING??? He’s DANCING! I swear I’m not making this up. He’s in a red track suit and has a red hat on.

Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkins

Total squash and he dances a lot. A cross body ends this in 65 seconds. This is BIZARRE.

Zack Ryder is brushing his teeth and looking in a mirror. He keeps thinking someone is watching him and leavesl.

Miz tries to get Rosa and Epico/Primo to protect him. They say no and leave but Punk pops up to NO reaction.

They go to a break here and thank goodness. I need a minute after what I just saw with Brodus.

Jack Swagger vs. CM Punk

Ace comes out and says that if Punk wins, Swagger and Vickie are barred from ringside at the Rumble. Ziggler tonight has to fight Cena to keep things fair. Feeling out process to start with Punk working a headlock but Swagger taking it to the mat. Punk goes up for the elbow so Jack hits the floor. Swagger takes over with his size advantage and hooks a quickly countered ankle lock. Off to a double chicken wing kind of hold and then a waistlock. Swagger is knocked to the floor and a suicide dive takes him out as we go to a break.

Back with Punk starting his comeback. He fires off some strikes and hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is thrown off and the Vader Bomb gets two. Another attempt at a Bomb is countered but Swagger takes over again quickly. He loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off for a top rope elbow….for the pin? I thought he kicked out but apparently not as Punk gets the pin at 13:57.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here despite what the referee shows was a bad call at the end. Not sure if that’ll play into the Ace as referee thing or not but it could have been an honest mistake. I mean it’s not like Swagger was going to win either way. Decent match and while I think Swagger should go face, he’ll be ok as a jobber to the stars like this.

Replay shows that it was a bad call and Cole freaks.

We see the ending of the Cena vs. Kane fight earlier.

Cena and Ryder are in the back talking and Ryder thanks Cena for everything he’s done for him.

The Bellas are talking in the back when Ricardo pops up. They brought him all the way from Mexico to give Del Rio a message. Miz interrupts them and says Ricardo is going to draw out R-Truth by insulting him. Ricardo says no but Miz threatens him.

The second HOF inductee: It’s still not Savage, but it’s THE FOUR HORSEMEN!!!

Here’s Ricardo to insult Truth but he’s very nervous to do so. He says that Truth’s breath smells like a rotten burrito and that’s enough to draw Truth out. Truth doesn’t know why Ricardo would want to pick a fight with him. Even Little Jimmy thinks he’s a good R-Truth now. He asks Little Jimmy if he should let Ricardo go. Apparently Jimmy doesn’t like Ricardo so Truth should turn Ricardo into a human pinata.

Ricardo freaks out so Truth asks for a song. La Cucaracha in fact. Ricardo gets WAY into this and even says this is a remix halfway though. Truth asks him to do it again and Ricardo knocks the mic out of his hand. Ricardo takes a Little Jimmy and here’s Miz for the beatdown.

Jericho time. He gets an entrance from Roberts and does the same entrance that he did last week. He’s doing the same thing he did last week with the whole running around the ring. No mic that I can see. Oh now he has one and the music ends. He poses on the corner and hasn’t talked yet. The mic is to his chest….(this is high drama stuff people) and he looks like he’s about to cry. He takes a minute to compose himself…..and is now crying. The music comes on and he walks out, still not saying anything.

Another Rumble Moment: 98, Austin wins.

Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve has new music I think. It’s 10:51 before Beth comes out so they’re going to have to blaze through this. And never mind because here’s Kane. Since women in wrestling are idiots, Eve gets out of the ring and STANDS THERE. Ryder runs out to save her and they run off to the side of the tron. No match.

We cut to the back and Ryder throws her into a car. The tire is flat though, so Ryder CHANGES THE TIRE. We take a break as Pep Boy #4 keeps at it.

Ryder defends against Swagger next week.

Ryder is still changing the tire when we get back. Call AAA dude. I’m sure they have some luchadores that could help you.

John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler

No entrance for Dolph and the bell rings at 10:59. Ziggler starts fast and hits a quick Fameasser for two. Off to a chinlock and Ziggler does a headstand while holding it. Cole: “You couldn’t do that King.” Lawler: “Why would I want to?” Good question. Ziggler drops some elbows and does the situps. Cena starts his comeback and we cut to the back where Ryder is STILL changing the tire.

Kane finally comes to attack him and Ziggler throws on a sleeper. We cut to the back again and Kane chokeslams him into the pit I mentioned at the beginning of the show. Ziggler puts on another sleeper but Cena hits an AA to escape. He goes to the back and I guess the match is thrown out at about 5:00. I’m not going to rate it due to the match just being a placeholder for the angle. It was nothing of note anyway.

Cena gets out there and Kane jumps him. He smothers Cena down again and Ryder is just laying on the wooden pallet he was chokeslammed onto. Cena is left laying too. Kane stands very tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very different kind of show but I was liking it a lot. Things were a lot more comedy based than they were last week and it was certainly a more memorable show. The wrestling was just ok but they played things up as over the top and overly dramatic tonight and I thought it made for a much better show. Also the HOF stuff is a nice touch so few complaints here, other than the lack of in ring action.

Results
Sheamus/Santino Marella b. Wade Barrett/Jinder Mahal – Cobra to Mahal
Daniel Bryan b. Kofi Kingston – LeBell Lock
Brodus Clay b. Curt Hawkins – Cross Body
CM Punk b. Jack Swagger – Top Rope Elbow Drop
John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest

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I think I can live with this too.  Still no Savage though?  Really?  Wait…..Benoit is in the HOF now.  Interesting.

Thoughts on this?

I haven’t laughed so hard in YEARS.  That was great.

Announced on Raw.  Another inductee coming later tonight.

Thoughts on this?

Genesis 2012
Date: January 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Today is the genesis of the beginning of the genesis of the….oh wait wrong company. It’s the first TNA PPV of the year and we have Hardy vs. Roode in the main event. The card has been fairly well built up on paper and I’m somewhat interested in what happens tonight. Also we have Angle vs. Storm II (officially III but I don’t count the first one) so I’d picture Storm to lose to set up an eventual third match at Lockdown, although they might do a draw at Against All Odds to bridge the gap. Let’s get to it.

We open with Robert Roode arriving. Jeff got here about two hours earlier.

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen

I didn’t know this but it’s elimination rules. The fans seem to like Jesse the most. Aries chills on the floor to start and Sorensen cleans house. A northern lights gets two on Ion and Aries comes in. This is one of those matches where there’s no point in trying to keep track of everything that’s going on. Kash and Aries are sent to the floor and after Ion is put up top it’s the Tower of Doom! That hasn’t been used in awhile.

Aries goes up top but Ion shoves him down to the floor onto Kash. Ion hits a big corkscrew plancha to the floor to take the two of them out. Sorensen of course follows in the customary series of dives. Still gets a great reaction from the crowd too. Jesse gets two on Aries back inside. Ion gets sent into the corner so Kash tries a superplex, but Aries is whipped into the corner to send Kash crashing. Ion stands up and hits the 450 on Kash to put him out first.

Aries busts out the 450 on Sorensen for just two. The fans are WAY behind Jesse here. Top rope cross body gets two on Aries. A suplex into a cutter kind of move gets the same as Ion breaks up the pin because he’s an idiot. Ion goes after Jesse but walks into a small package for the second elimination to get us down to one on one. Aries rolls up Sorensen but Ion has the referee.

Brainbuster is countered into the Game Changer (Test Drive into a DDT) but Ion’s distraction keeps it at just two. Aries breaks up something off the top but runs into a boot in the corner. Ion is ducked out of sight on the floor. Sorensen goes up but Ion crotches him, letting Aries dropkick him and a middle rope brainbuster keeps the title on Aries 10:59.

Rating: C+. I was really liking this until the ending. Sorensen has been built up for awhile now and the fans are clearly behind him, but they need to pull the trigger on him if they’re going to. Restocking the division is a good idea, but if all the guys keep losing it’s not really going to do them any good. The match was fun though and a high flying match to open the show is a tried and true idea.

D-Von’s kids are in the back and they already get on my nerves. They’re dressed like Pope and are both sixteen. Why we’re wasting a decent story like this on Elijah Burke and D-Von Dudley is beyond me. Pope says he’ll get rid of D-Von tonight.

Recap of D-Von vs. Pope. Basically it’s been six months of D-Von yelling at his kids while they like Pope until they finally turned on their dad.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. D-Von

D-Von starts fast and sends Pope to the floor with a lot of punches. There isn’t much to say here as it’s just D-Von hammering away on him. The fans are split here, thereby again proving that either A, faces and heels mean nothing in TNA or B, the Impact Zone needs to shut up. D-Von finally gets caught by a shot and Pope takes over.

Pope beats him to the floor and hits a jumping axe handle to the floor. Off to a chinlock as the dueling chants continue. We get a Ronnie Garvin reference to make me roll my eyes. Pope was using a Garvin Stomp, so Taz says those are rugged kicks. Naturally has has to say “get it” to Tenay to get rid of the humor to it but that’s Taz for you.

With D-Von down, his kids come in. Pope says get him and they’re apprehensive about it. Dinero shoves them and then throws one of them to the floor. He hits the other one and D-Von snaps. The kids never touched him so it’s not a DQ. D-Von hits some power stuff as the fans want a table. Pope gets out of a fireman’s carry and hits an uppercut. A flying shoulder gets two for the former Dudley. Corner splash misses and a neckbreaker gets no cover for Pope. The boys are back up and the DDE misses. D-Von hits the inverted reverse DDT for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D. WHOA WHOA WHOA. What in the world was the point in turning D-Von’s kids then??? TO TURN THEM BACK THE NEXT TIME WE SAW THEM??? Also, D-Von Dudley just got a win in the blowoff to a feud on PPV in 2012??? For the life of me I do not know what this company is thinking at times. Pope isn’t anything anymore but he’s worth more than D-Von….isn’t he? Also what are they going to do with D-Von? Give him the TV Title? In 2012??? I mean, Ray is doing well on his own but do they really think it’ll work twice? Stranger things have happened though…..at least I think they have.

D-Von reunites with his kids post match. So we just wasted 6 months for that payoff? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Sting is in the back for an interview and Velvet wants to talk to him. She wants the Knockouts VP job. Velvet goes on a big rant, talking about how Madison made herself the boss and it shouldn’t count. Velvet has a plan to keep Madison occupied during the title match and whispers it in Sting’s ear. He likes it but there’s not enough time according to Sting. She asked the crew about it earlier and it’s called the Velvet Touch. No idea what it is but Sting says go with it. She leaves and Sting talks about the main event. Hardy earned his title shot tonight and got here one step at a time. Sting says he’s in charge, not Roode.

Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

Rematch from Impact after the weak ending. They actually go to the mat to start as Gunner is getting frustrated. Rollup gets two for RVD. Crucifix gets one and it’s a standoff. Gunner takes over with strikes and we head to the floor. Van Dam gets in a kick to take over and sends Gunner back in, but has to chase Flair off. He gets crotched on top but throws Gunner down on the way back in.

Top rope cross body gets two. Top rope kick sets up Rolling Thunder for two. Gunner rolls to the floor so RVD dives, only to have Flair pull Gunner out of the way. With Flair distracting the referee, Gunner DDTs him on the floor to basically kill him. He’s out cold and that’s enough for the pin at 6:52. Man that match went by fast.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but too short to mean anything. I’ve heard Van Dam’s contract is up in March so maybe this is a way to write him off TV for a few months in case he doesn’t re-sign? If so it’s a good thing for him to be jobbing on his way out. Still though, match wasn’t much and Gunner is still just kind of there.

RVD goes out on a stretcher post match. He keeps trying to get the neck brace off.

Hardy is in the back and says he doesn’t brag about what he did. He’s modest and another him is what there will never be. Creatures, mount up because they have a world title to win.

We recap the Knockout Title match. Gail returned and sided with the forces of evil, allegedly taking the division back ten years.

Velvet’s Touch is a small cage at ringside.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Gail Kim

And now the box with Madison in it is going to the ceiling. The bars are painted pink and white. The match starts as the cage is being raised, letting Gail get in a shot to take over. Mickie speeds things up to take over, hitting a low dropkick for two. Gail gets in a shot and the fans are split, although leaning towards Mickie. She avoids a slide by Mickie and hooks a Dragon Sleeper which is pretty easily countered.

Mickie starts a comeback and speeds things up. There’s the nip up but she gets caught in an Octopus Hold (kind of) which she countered with something like a Samoan Drop. Jumping DDT is blocked but Gail is knocked outside. Out to the floor and Mickie hits a hurricanrana. Back in and the flying crotch to the face gets two. Madison throws an object to Gail which is intercepted. Another object (brass knucks I think) are sent down but caught by Mickie. She decks Gail and it’s a DQ at 6:21. The fans chant BS for some reason, despite it being pretty clear what happened.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but I’m really getting sick of these DQ finishes lately. I do like the 80s gimmick with the hanging cage though. It’s amazing how effective these simple things can be if done on occasion. In short: mix things up and you might get a better reaction. They’re setting up Hardy big to win tonight with these heels going over in important matches though.

Ray says he used to be nervous about the Monster’s Ball but he realized he’s the king of these matches, so tonight Abyss rejoins Immortal. Thankfully Ray lists off the members of Immortal because I had no idea who was still in it. Gunner is apparently. Who knew?

We recap Abyss vs. Ray. Basically Immortal can’t stop him so for some reason he’s agreed to this match where if Ray wins, Abyss has to rejoin Immortal.

Bully Ray vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, which basically means hardcore. Ray immediately hits the floor and walks around for a bit. He grabs a chair and feels all mighty, but Abyss gets one of his own. Here’s a chair duel and Abyss shrugs off a chair shot. Ray walks into a chokeslam which he pops up from and a big boot takes Abyss down for a good 1 second. Abyss cracks him with a chair to take over and goes to get a staple gun and cheese grater.

Ray gets in a chain shot but a trashcan is no sold. With more weapon shots, Ray grabs a kendo stick. Abyss hits the floor and finds Janice, making Ray run to the back. Abyss follows and then they’re back already. They weren’t off camera for two seconds. Back at ringside and Abyss goes into a barbed wire board. Abyss’ arm is bleeding. He throws Ray in and grabs a pair of bags.

He doesn’t open them yet and instead it’s a cheese grater to the balls. Bag #1 has thumbtacks. Ray kicks him low, shouts about how his balls hurt, and gets a table. According to wrestling law #1 though, Ray goes through it via a chokeslam for two. There are two barbed wire boards in the ring now but Ray Rock Bottoms Abyss onto one for two.

Ray slams the other board on top of Abyss and hits the backsplash off the middle rope. Ok that was kind of awesome. Since it’s TNA though, it only gets two. Ray gets Janice but walks into a chokeslam onto the tacks….for two. Bully gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a kendo stick. He beats Abyss down with it via about 12 shots but for some reason hits the ropes. That’s enough for a Black Hole Slam onto the barbed wire for the pin at 15:28.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun and very violent hardcore match. The key to this one: we hadn’t seen it in awhile which made it have more, pardon the pun, impact. The no selling at the beginning was pretty fun and the big spots worked, but at some point it got kind of ridiculous. To be fair though, that’s the point. At least Immortal didn’t get a new member though so that’s a plus.

Crimson and Morgan say they’re awesome and that they’ll win.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Crimson vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

Joe starts with Morgan and the tall one is taken down quickly. Off to Crimson who is the least interesting undefeated person this side of Tatanka. Magnus comes in and gets double teamed by the champs. Morgan hits his corner elbows and Crimson hits an overhead suplex for two. Back to Joe who runs Morgan over. Crimson comes in and has the same result as Morgan had.

Magnus comes back in and we go split screen as Ray is beating up Abyss. And now we’re back full screen as Joe has a chinlock on Crimson. We get a dueling “We Want Morgan/No We Don’t” chants. Crimson spears Joe down and we’re told that Bully Ray is trending worldwide on Twitter. Off to Morgan who hits the Hellevator (not called that) to Magnus but Joe breaks up the pin.

In a HORRIBLE looking sequence, Joe hits a bunch of strikes in the corner, followed by the middle rope elbow from Magnus. It only gets two though, due to Crimson breaking it up. The horrible part: Magnus flew off of Morgan about a second and a half before Crimson even touched him. Magnus reverses a chokeslam but a double version is enough to pin Magnus at 9:38.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t click for me at all. The messed up save really took me out of the match. Joe just isn’t going to get pushed no matter how much he gets cheered and how much his opponents get booed or get no reaction, because it’s just been decided that he’s not going to get pushed. Listen to the fans TNA. It just might work.

Storm says he’s ready for Angle. He doesn’t want to be interviewed though so he changes places, putting the hat and glasses on JB and asks about JB’s match with Angle tonight. This translates into you gotta believe…..somehow.

We recap Angle vs. Storm. Basically Angle says Storm is a barfighter and not a wrestler.

James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

Angle stalls to open us up. Storm grabs a headlock and goes for the Last Call about a minute in. Kurt heads to the floor again for a few seconds. Back in, James hits a facebuster and neckbreaker for two. Another Last Call attempt sends Kurt to the floor. Storm hits a slingshot dive to the floor to keep control. Back in the ring Kurt finally gets Storm to the mat and you know he’ll control there. Off to a chinlock.

Taz says Kurt has the best cardio ever. I think there’s an old manager on this roster that might take exception to that. Storm comes back with a Russian legsweep and a Backstabber for two. How can we be ten minutes into this already? The chinlock must have lasted longer than I thought. Angle hits Rolling Germans as Taz actually explains what makes suplexes work.

The moonsault mostly hits for two. Storm pops up with a DDT for two. They’re doing a fairly slow build here and that’s just fine. Angle Slam hits for two. The fans don’t even react to the kickout anymore. Angle tries a superkick but Storm avoids it into a cutter for two. Top rope elbow gets the same for the same person. And then Kurt pulls the referee out of position, hits a low blow and a superkick for the pin at 13:45.

Rating: B-. Really weak ending there as they seemed to be building to something huge and then you looked away for like a second and it’s over. I’d assume this sets up a rubber match which is fine. The kick looked more like a Mafia kick/MVP Drive By than the superkick but whatever. Really didn’t like the ending though.

Ray is in the back and doesn’t know where Abyss is. It’s implied he’s hiding something.

We recap Hardy vs. Roode. Basically it’s Roode is champion and selfish while it’s Hardy’s chance to come back to glory.

Roode says this is disgusting because Hardy has no business here.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Roode grabs the arm to start but Hardy takes him down with an armdrag. Headscissors out of the corner by Hardy sets up a little sequence of offense, capped off by a low dropkick for two. Out to the floor and Hardy hits Poetry in Motion using the steps. Tenay calls it a dropkick for some reason. Back in Hardy goes up but gets crotched to shift momentum.

Roode throws him into the corner chest first for two. Suplex sets up a middle rope kneedrop for two. Off to the chinlock by Roode and they go to the floor again. Back in, Roode hooks the Crossface and the fans don’t really react at all. Roode goes up but misses whatever he was trying to put both guys down. Hardy starts his comeback and hits a Russian legsweep and that splitlegged cover he does.

Jawbreaker doesn’t do much to Roode as he snaps off a spinebuster for two. Roode tries a superplex but Hardy knocks him off. The champ avoids the Swanton and heads to the floor again. Roode gets the belt and goes to leave but Hardy brings him back. Roode grabs a quick fisherman’s suplex for two. Twisting Stunner puts Roode onto his knees but the Whisper in the Wind gets two. There’s another attempt at the Twist and Roode bails again.

Hardy follows him up the ramp and throws him back. Roode has the belt but it gets knocked out of his hands. Hardy tries another Twist but the referee breaks it up so that it’s not onto the belt. Roode tries a rollup with feet on the ropes but it only gets two. The champ begs off…and then kicks the referee low for the REALLY FREAKING LAME DQ. Jeff hits a Twist but the bell rings before a cover. I forgot to check the clock but it was about 20:00.

Rating: C. The match was good but MAN that ending killed it. The crowd didn’t care until the end when the belt came in because they knew nothing was going to happen until the end. That being said, the ending was AWFUL. So where was Sting, the guy that is going to be watching over Roode or whatever and the guy that has Hardy’s back? Was he out front chipping golf balls?

The fans IMMEDIATELY chant that they want Sting. Hardy hits a Swanton and holds up the belt…and that’s it. No seriously, that’s the end of the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I wanted to like this show. I really did. The card looked pretty good and it had been built decently. And then this happened. What was the point of this show? The biggest thing that happened was that D-Von’s kids turned face after turning heel what, two weeks ago? Two title matches end with DQs, one ends with interference, and one is a wildcard team getting a title shot. The hardcore match was the best of the show and even then it means nothing, because while Abyss wins he’s disappeared or something I guess. Just an eye rolling show here from TNA as they give the fans nothing at all to go on.

Results
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen, Kid Kash and Zema Ion – Aries last eliminated Sorensen to win
D-Von b. D’Angelo Dinero – Reverse Inverted DDT
Gunner b. Rob Van Dam – DDT on the floor
Gail Kim b. Mickie James via disqualification when Mickie hit Gail with brass knuckles
Abyss b. Bully Ray – Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. Magnus/Samoa Joe – Double Chokeslam to Magnus
Kurt Angle b. James Storm – Superkick
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode via disqualification when Roode kicked the referee

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