Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2012
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s another world title match tonight, this time with Henry getting his rematch. We’re in Vegas though so tonight, it’s the return of Spin the Wheel Make the Deal (Always thought Raw Roulette was a weak name). That means gimmick matches a go-go and hopefully a little build up to the Rumble other than like 4 guys. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with AJ getting run over by Big Show.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the ice storm keeping my grandmother in Washington.

Here’s Bryan to open the show. He says the name Sin City Smackdown is appropriate because Big Show committed a sin last week by running over AJ. Show is bitter because his reign was so short. AJ is severely injured and her career may be over. She was out there because she loves Bryan, which no one has ever said to him before. AJ will be here in spirit though. He’s not afraid of Henry or Show either, the latter of which isn’t here tonight. Bryan says that’s good because he couldn’t be held responsible for what he would do to Show. Show should just quit.

There’s a casino setup in the back and it’s basically a party. Aksana and Teddy are talking and sexual shenanigans are implied. Cody interrupts them and says Goldust spun the wheel to get a Vegas Showgirls Match. I’m not sure if he’s serious or not. Cody spins and gets Player’s Choice. He can pick his opponent for his match which is up next. Cody points to the left and says he picks him. At first it appears to be Jackson, then Marella, but it’s really Horny.

Cody Rhodes vs. Hornswoggle

It seems that the newest tagline that they’re trying to get over is that Cody is the last hope for the Rhodes’ Family. Cody shoves Horny down in the aisle but Justin Gabriel runs down for the save. Justin jumps on the match and challenges Cody. Cody insists it’s non-title and it’s on.

Cody Rhodes vs. Justin Gabriel

Justin pounds him down in the corner and a dropkick sends Cody to the ropes. Cody comes back with a dropkick of his own. Off to a chinlock as Horny plays cheerleader. Cody grabs the arm and cranks on it. Cole makes fun of Booker, Josh gets us back to the match, I’m sure you know the drill. Justin comes back with an enzigrui and loads up the 450 but Cody moves. Cole: “How great was that?” Booker: “He just moved.” Backslide gets two for Justin as does a springboard crossbody. Justin tries a monkey flip but gets dropped on the ropes. Cross Rhodes gets the pin at 3:42.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and for a quick match it was fine. Having this be Justin instead of Horny was good as it gets Justin on TV and lets Cody get another impressive looking win. Nothing bad in that and everyone looks a little bit better. Now why can’t we get more matches like this one?

Mark spins the wheel for his title match tonight. He’s not happy with having to do it and blames Teddy for AJ getting hurt last week. It’ll be his fault when Bryan is hurt later. Mark tells Teddy to spin for him and it’s a lumberjack match. That’s cool with Henry.

Epico/Primo vs. Usos

Please don’t have them get squashed. This is a tornado match, meaning tagging isn’t required and everyone is in the ring at once. We get a Siva Tao which makes me very happy. And Booker is playing with toys. Brawl to start and Epico gets beaten down. Jey gets dropped to the floor and it’s a handicap situation for a bit. Jey finally gets back in and the Usos take over with Samoan Twin Magic. Stereo splashes look to set up stereo Umaga corner bumps and they go to the corner. Rosa yells a lot and Jey gets caught. Superfly Splash gets two but Primo makes the save and a Backstabber ends this at 2:40.

Don’t try this at home.

This Rumble Moment: last year with Booker and Nash. Santino coming in at the end had me freaking out. Brilliantly done.

Aksans talks about slot machines and sex jokes are made. Sheamus comes in before this hits PG-13. Sheamus vs. Barrett is a tables match.

It’s time for a dance off. Listen to that pop for Brodus! And yes I know it’s probably canned but I’m loving this character. Booker and Cole lose it over the dinosaur claws thing. I know it’s stupid but my goodness this is great. His opponent: Vickie Guerrero. Vickie says she can dance but she looks like she’s a puppet. Brodus has Cameron and Naomi dance for him first, then shakes more than federal law should allow.

Clay is declared the winner but Vickie protests. She dances more but cue…..William Regal? He defends Vickie who is crying. She leaves and Brodus asks where Regal is going. He calls Regal a funky chicken (then makes Hawk noises)….and it’s on. Regal says hit his music and it’s better than expected, but Aww Funk It. Brodus says someone call his Mama.

Don’t be a bully.

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett

Tables match. Barrett takes him to the corner to start which is fine for Sheamus as he pounds away. It’s a brawl to start and Barrett is sent to the floor. Sheamus’ back is rammed into the barricade and Barrett gets a table. One gets set up on the floor but Barrett escapes and sends Sheamus into the post to take over. Back inside where there is no table. Barrett almost kicks him off the apron through the table but Sheamus hangs on.

A suplex is countered and Sheamus gets the clubbing forearms on the apron. A running forearm knocks Barrett over the table and slams him into the table at ringside. Sheamus puts another table into the ring but Barrett kicks him in the face. Barrett puts it in instead and Sheamus is in trouble. Wasde sets to drive him through it, only to have Sheamus counter with a sunset flip. Sheamus pounds away and puts him on the table.

Barrett breaks up whatever Sheamus was going to try from the top and tries a superplex. Sheamus breaks it up and jumps over the table then catches Barrett in the Irish Curse. Table is put up in the corner but as Sheamus sets to put him through it, Jinder freaking Mahal comes out for a distraction and Barrett puts Sheamus through it for the win at approximately 9:00 (had some clock issues so that might not be accurate).

Rating: C. The match was fine, but for the life of me I don’t get what they’re shooting for with Mahal. I could understand it if they had him beat Sheamus EVER, but it’s been basically a series of squashes every time they face each other. I don’t get the point of it and I don’t get what they’re trying to do with him. He needs to actually win something to be viewed as a threat, which is what it seems like they’re going with in him.

Post match Mahal sets up a table for Sheamus, but just like every other time, Sheamus shrugs him off and puts Mahal through the table after a Brogue Kick.

Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico

We don’t know the stipulation yet. Teddy spins the wheel and it’s a flag match. You have to get the flag from the corner to win it. They run out and put up the posts with flags. Nice to see them having something that seems spontaneous like that. Quick inset interview has DiBiase saying that Hunico and Camacho can have their own party after losing tonight. Hunico takes him down to start but Dibiase gets in a reverse powerbomb to take over. His attempt at the flag doesn’t work but neither does Hunico’s. DiBiase gets launched to the floor but he manages to shove Hunico off the ropes. Back in DiBiase hits Dream Street and wins at 2:19.

Raw ReBound eats up about four minutes.

Teddy tells Drew that he’s fired. Santino pops up and asks him to reconsider. He doesn’t like the idea that his victory over Drew was a fluke. Unfunny dice jokes are made and Drew has one more chance in a blindfold match. Oh sweet hamburgers.

Don’t try this at home, the Kofi edition.

Santino Marella vs. Drew McIntyre

It’s a blindfold match. Let’s get this over with. The Cobra gets a blindfold too. They throw blind strikes but Santino immediately gets two the pointing with the crowd helping. He has the Cobra loaded up already but Drew tackles him and they stumble to the floor. Drew punches the post and they get back in. Drew peaks but still misses a running boot. Using the audience for help, Santino hits the Cobra and gets the pin at 2:09. I can live with this because they kept it short. Usually these things are like ten minutes long.

Here come the lumberjacks.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan

Lumberjack match. This gets big match intros, as it should. Bryan gets more boos than cheers. Bryan’s first kick is countered and he gets shoved around with ease. The champ gets knocked to the apron a few times and tells the lumberjacks not to touch him. Henry stands on him chest and takes over with his size. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate. Bryan is knocked to the floor and Barrett tosses him back in.

We take a break and come back to see Bryan getting tossed around again. Bryan goes for the knee and eventually gets Henry down to his knees. A big kick to the head gets two and a power kickout. The lumberjacks won’t throw Bryan back in so once he slides in himself, Mark takes his head off. Henry gets all ticked off and gorilla presses him to the floor. Bryan gets in a fight with the lumberjacks and Henry gets thrown to the floor but they can’t throw him back in. Half of them come in and Henry shoves half of them off. Everyone comes in and it’s thrown out at about 7:15 shown of 10:45. The bell never ended it so that’s a guess.

Rating: D. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: these matches with Bryan vs. giants are only going to be able to be so good, because unless you make one of them look like an idiot, there’s no reasonable way to have Bryan go toe to toe with them. Just like last week, this got pretty boring pretty quickly and there isn’t much of a way around that because nothing Bryan does can hurt Show or Henry.

Bryan escapes and it’s basically a battle royal to end it. Cole freaks at Bryan for leaving. That’s rather smart actually. Teddy yells at Bryan in the back. He makes a triple threat match for the Rumble with Bryan defending against Big Show and Henry in a cage. That’s been the house show main event for a few weeks so that makes sense.

Overall Rating: C-. I really wasn’t feeling this one. It’s certainly not a bad show, but it all depends on how well you like the gimmick. The matches were really nothing interesting at all but they fit with the feuds (mostly) and we got our world title match for the PPV. Not a great show at all but it got some stuff for the PPV and had some fun moments so it’s not all bad. I’m not a fan of the gimmick though, so your personal opinion may vary.

Results
Cody Rhodes b. Justin Gabriel – Cross Rhodes
Epico/Primo b. Usos – Backstabber to Jimmy
Wade Barrett b. Sheamus – Barrett put Sheamus through a table
Ted DiBiase b. Hunico – DiBiase captured the flag
Santino Marella b. Drew McIntyre – Cobra
Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when the lumberjacks interfered

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re moving closer to Against All Odds after last week’s pretty awesome show. Well at least the second hour was. Tonight there’s a big match and it’s actually been advertised. I’m as shocked as you are. It’s a cage match between Mickie James and Madison Rayne to probably blow off their feud stemming from Karen being all evil and crazy. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending from last week’s show.

Here’s Storm to open things up. He likes being #1 contender and he beat the best in the world to do it. Angle may be the best, but on those nights, Storm was that much better. Now he’s got Roode at Against All Odds….and here’s Hardy for a rebuttal. He says he got screwed at the PPV and then again last week. Storm isn’t getting a title shot until Hardy does. They both say they got screwed. Storm: “With all that screwing he must have a lot of child support to pay.”

Here’s Roode who says Storm does in fact get the winner of Hardy vs. Roode, but since there’s no winner, Storm isn’t #1 contender anymore. Hardy got two chances in 5 days and blew them both, so he’s out too. This brings out Sting who says Roode found another loophole. Therefore tonight it’s Storm vs. Hardy and the winner gets Roode at the PPV.

Angelina rants about Eric Young a bit and challenges him to a match later tonight.

Gunner vs. AJ Styles

The announcers keep pushing the idea that Gunner has injured a lot of people. AJ does his usual stuff to start, such as the drop down into a dropkick. Gunner takes over and Tazz actually brings up Flair and AJ’s past relationship. Jumping knee to the face gets two for Gunner. Gunner controls for a bit but AJ comes back with the springboard forearm. Here come Kaz and Daniels with Daniels telling Kaz to do what he’s supposed to do. F5 is countered and Flair pops up on the apron. The distraction lets Kaz deck AJ and a DDT from Gunner gets the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C-. Just a match basically to further whatever is going on with Daniels and Kaz. Kaz being so reluctant is an interesting story but I’d like it to not be Daniels. I mean….it’s been done. Like A LOT. Anyway, decent match and it’s amazing what a character trait did for Gunner. Why did it take them over a year to do it?

Gunner goes for the concrete but AJ gets away.

Magnus is ready for Crimson. Crimson and Morgan come up and Crimson threatens Magnus. Morgan says save it for the ring.

Ray is with Sting and demands a world title match since he hasn’t lost since being a singles wrestler. Sting says no and make an appointment the next time you want to talk to me. Ray kind of threatens him…I think. Sting even lifts the glasses and Ray is mad.

Magnus vs. Crimson

No seconds with either guy. Magnus jumps him to start and hits a clothesline for two. And never mind as Red Sky (a bad one) ends this at 1:10.

Joe comes out post match and beats down Crimson. Morgan finally makes the save. He gets beaten down too and Joe/Magnus stand tall.

Eric young is fascinated by Bellator. A caterer comes up and Eric annoys her by thinking she’s a fighter. He says he doesn’t fight women. ODB comes up and talks about Angelina’s challenge and Eric isn’t happy. Sex is implied.

We get a clip from last week with the Bischoff Hour. Garrett is shown training. He says we’ll find out who’s training him soon.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison. I’m not sure this warrants a cage match but it’s not bad.

Madison freaks out and Gail says let’s just go to the ring.

Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we’re officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.

Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie’s head between her legs. Somehow that’s a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.

Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.

Rating: C. Not bad here but nothing classic. It’s so much better in this division than the Divas, and a lot of that is due to the time. The Divas matches get annoying because they’re just there and gone so fast that they don’t mean anything. The Knockouts don’t have masterpieces but they have matches, which is a big step in the right direction.

Austin Aries talks about what he’s going to talk about and how entertaining he is. I didn’t leave anything out there: he says he’s going to talk about something and how interesting whatever he’ll be saying will be without saying what it is.

Velvet and Tara congratulate Mickie. She says she’s hardcore or something. No idea what the point of this was.

Hardy says that the world title is what it takes to validate everything.

Video on Aries and his domination of the X Division. He talks about how dominant he is and says he needs competition.

Here’s Aries in the arena. He says it’s that time of the month: it’s time for him to brag about being the best in the world after another successful title defense. If he sucks like the audience says, why does he still have this title? There’s no one here to take me on, so maybe he should go around the world to find competition. Cue the returning Alex Shelley, once again with the skunk hair.

He talks about the Guns being injured and how he came back the day Sabin hurt his knee. Shelley wanted to wait on Sabin to get back but Aries has bored him so much that he had to come back. Last time it took a low blow for Aries to beat him. Aries says go wait for Sabin to come back because there’s no point to doing anything else. Shelley says if he’s such a non-threat, Aries should have no issue giving him a title match. Aries says whoa whoa whoa, but you have to earn it. Go find an X Division guy and beat them, then you get your show. Shelley says Aries can pick it.

ODB wants Angelina to get destroyed tonight. Winter jumps her and they brawl with ODB seemingly in control. Winter gets in a shot with a metal something and then whips ODB with a belt.

Angelina Love vs. Eric Young

Let’s get this over with. Eric isn’t sure what to do so he locks up with the referee. Then with a fan. Then he jumps back in. Then he locks up with the referee again. The referee is shoved into Angelina in the corner and Eric counts to four for a near DQ. Angelina kicks him low for the DQ at 1:57. Oh….just no.

ODB with the save but she gets beaten down. Eric sends both evil ones to the floor. ODB kisses him.

Storm says it’s his time to be champion.

James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner gets Roode at Against All Odds. They quickly go to the mat with Hardy having moderate control. Storm hits a clothesline but is tired already and we take a break. Back with Hardy sending him to the floor and taking over back in the ring. Storm channels his inner Blanchard and hits a slingshot suplex. After a quick chinlock, Jeff starts his comeback and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Now Jeff hooks a chinlock. They’ve been going in a low gear up to this point. Eye of the Storm is countered but Storm hits some freaky release mat slam for two. He loads up the Last Call but Jeff counters into the Twisting Stunner. Here comes the Swanton but Storm breaks it up. A superplex is countered but Storm hits an enziguri to knock Jeff down. Now the superplex hits but both guys are down. And then Bully Ray comes in and hits the referee for the no contest at 13:24.

Rating: C. Not bad but it was clear they were keeping it in low gear until the ending. Ray coming in was foreshadowed pretty clearly and I think they’re going to go with the three or four way main event at Against All Odds, because goodness knows there aren’t enough of those right? Anyway, not much here and the ending was pretty obvious.

Ray beats them both down and beats up referees also, all with the chain. Sting comes out with the bat and beats up Ray, chasing him off to end the show. Or wait is it the end? No it isn’t as Roode comes in and both guys get belt shots.  Roode declares it a no contest and says he’s still champion.  THAT ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was an ok show and that’s about it. They got some stuff set up for Against All Odds….kind of. The problem is that there was no fire to this at all and it felt like a throwaway show. That’s ok as they have a few weeks before the PPV and I’m sure a lot will happen in the UK, but this was still pretty weak stuff. The cage match was ok as was the main event, but it wasn’t anything to remember at all. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Results
Gunner b. AJ Styles – DDT
Crimson b. Magnus – Red Sky
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT
Eric Young b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love kicked Young low
Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm went to a no contest when Bully Ray interfered

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NXT
Date: January 18, 2012
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

It’s the 100th episode of this accursed show and we’re in Vegas for a wedding. Naturally it’ll be here in the arena in front of an audience because that’s how wrestling works. Also we’re going to have Titus vs. Young for like the 9th time because that’s all we can do on this season. Something big has to happen tonight right? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a recap of the wedding thing and the love triangle.

Theme song. This is the closest thing to an NXT Supershow we’ll ever have anymore I think.

Cole is on commentary tonight. Oh boy. I think this is just a one night return.

Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young

No DQ match. Young runs to the floor for a bit but back in the ring he gets run over by an elbow. Backbreaker gets two for Titus. Darren gets thrown to the floor an DO THE DOG BARK! A slam of some sort on the floor puts Darren down but he manages a neckbreaker on the apron to take Titus down and we take a break. Back with Darren getting two off something we missed.

Belly to back gets two. Off to a cravate and Young sends him into the corner. The gutbuster gets two. The No DQ aspect of this has meant nothing so far. Young sets for another gutbuster but since he used that already and isn’t a main event guy, Titus counters and sends him in for the Clash of the Titus and the pin at 5:57.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of the No DQ rule? This was nothing special at all, which is probably due to Young being worthless on almost all counts. Titus is ok but there’s nothing left for him to do here. Hopefully this is the end of this feud because it’s gone on way too long.

Titus gets on the mic afterwards and says he wants to thank the fans. He wants to thank them for absolutely nothing. Titus goes on a rant about how he’s sick of doing everything for 46 weeks and getting stuck with a leprechaun for nothing. He’s the star of this show and the star of every show the WWE has to offer. Cole’s heckling kills this for a bit because he laughs instead of acting like this is something special. Thanks for nothing and now he’ll be making it a win for himself. Cole makes fun of him again, totally diminishing the shock value of the turn.

Heath Slater vs. Percy Watson

Watson takes over with a dropkick to start. Cole lists off his various accomplishments as Slater takes over. Cole asks about the Redemption Points thing and Josh isn’t sure how they work either. Slater takes over and there’s nothing interesting going on here. Josh and Cole argue about Lynyrd Skynyrd and Watson starts his comeback. He jumps around a lot but the fans seem more interested in Slater than Watson. Spinning splash gets two. Persecution ends this at 3:41.

Rating: D. Boring match again and we’re told that this was a rookie upsetting a Superstar. That’s so cute: they think people still care about something like that. Also, Slater qualifies as a Superstar? Isn’t that like 20 losses in a row for him? Boring match and the crowd shockingly didn’t care.

Maxine yells at the Usos. Jey sneezes on her dress.

Maxine yells at more people when Curtis shows up and says calm down. She goes off ranting and Kaitlyn comes up. Curtis hits on her and gets called creepy.

Yoshi Tatsu/Trent Barreta vs. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins

This match AGAIN? Wait why am I surprised by that? Trent vs. Curt starts us off but it’s off to Reks quickly. Yoshi jumps in with a top rope chop for two. Was there a tag that I missed? Josh brings up Cole not talking about Superstars enough. Cole says look what he did for Bryan and Hawkins gets two. Cole also says he had a role in keeping the title on Miz. Powerslam gets two for Reks.

Cole blasts the hypocrisy of people praising Bryan’s cash-in but blasting people like Edge. Double tag brings in Trent and Reks as this match is very forgettable. Running boot gets two for Trent. Cole says none of these guys are part of the competition which is true. I love Cole pointing out stupid stuff on here. Whisper in the Wind gets two for Barreta and everything breaks down. Reks loads up Barreta onto a shoulder like for a powerbomb but spins to the side into a DDT and the pin at 5:39.

Rating: D. I know I’ve used that every time but it’s been the case every time: the matches are ok but they’re nothing I’m going to remember after about five minutes. These are almost all matches we’ve seen before and there isn’t much of a reason to want to see them again. Boring stuff here, but it is interesting that there’s a tag division on NXT alone but the two biggest wrestling companies in the country can barely find a pair of teams for a PPV title defense.

Raw ReBound. Ace’s eruption is still pretty good.

The wedding set is built in the ring. Elvis is performing the ceremony. And it’s Striker as Elvis. He’s been ordained for a full five minutes. The fans aren’t impressed by his accent at all. Curtis is brought out who is in a leather jacket and a tuxedo t-shirt. There’s some guy with him who looks a little drunks. Maxine comes out and to be fair, she does look good in the dress. She yells about the drunk guy (Chad, who says he was promised a chance to meet Hillbilly Jim) but shuts up eventually.

We get to the vows and Curtis says yes. She says yes also but we get to the objection part and the crowd pops in expectation. You would think Bateman would come out there but actually Striker takes off the glasses (it was obvious it was him and not meant to be a secret I don’t think) and says “Really? No one here objects to this?” Funny line. Bateman finally comes out for the big overly dramatic objection and actually rocking a suit.

He says he didn’t send the e-mail, but Curtis did. Bateman shows us footage of Curtis stealing an iPad and sending the e-mail. It took him about 4 seconds to send an e-mail that took 20 seconds to read but whatever. Maxine freaks and Curtis says he wants Maxine to come with him to the top. She slaps him and the brawl between the guys breaks out. Bateman hits his finisher on Curtis and walks off. Maxine says wait and slaps Bateman then kisses him. And that’s it. No seriously, that’s the end of the show.

Overall Rating: F. I can’t believe that they actually ended like that. I come into NXT with no expectations at all anymore and somehow this came off as a disappointment. I think it might be that I’m trying to avoid yelling about how we just wasted 10 or so weeks going around in a circle to get back to Bateman and Maxine being together but I’m not quite sure. Where in the world do they go from here? I’m not sure, but I’ll bet it takes at least 2 months to do it. Just WOW.

Results
Titus O’Neal b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus
Percy Watson b. Heath Slater – Persecution
Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barreta/Yoshi Tatsu

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According to the WWE’s Corporate Site.

Methinks he’s gone. I don’t see any reason to keep him around, especially after losing the titles already. Just cut him now.

Thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2012
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s another Monday and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have no idea that the Rumble was less than two weeks away. Has any Raw guy mentioned being in the Rumble at all? We’ve had nothing but the Cena vs. Kane stuff with Ryder running scared. Ryder defends the US Title tonight and for some reason Perez Hilton is here. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is about Martin Luther King.

Let’s Burn It To The Ground.

Here’s Foley to open the show. He talks about enjoying being a non physical presence, including hosting This Is Your Life John Cena. However, his kids got to see him perform, (including being in the main event of Wrestlemania in this arena). He does have two other kids though, who haven’t seen him perform. Due to that, he’s entering the Rumble.

Cue Vickie and Ziggler. Ziggler yells at him about taking up a spot in the Rumble from someone else that could use it more. Foley says it might be a huge mistake but he’ll be there to win it. Ziggler talks about everything he’s done to get to this point in his career and how he can’t imagine facing someone fat like Foley at Mania for his world title. He tells Foley to go home, get a new shirt, eat a salad and go home.

Cue Punk who is glad to see Foley. Punk says that he and Foley are a lot alike in that they’re unconventional and don’t look like the rest of the WWE roster. He makes fun of Ziggler’s look and Ace in general. They get in an argument with Vickie and here’s Ace. He says he’ll be fair at the Rumble and says he’ll consider Foley in the Rumble. After about 2 seconds, he says no. Vickie laughs at him and that’s it.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom

Neither team even gets intros. Great to see how well the new champs are treated. We actually get clips of the title change last night. There’s a fortune to be made in filming house show stuff and releasing like 3 hours of it for ten bucks on DVD or WWE.com or something. The matches are already there anyway so just film them. Epico vs. Bourne to start us off.

Bourne hits an awesome standing rana to Epico off the top to send him into Primo. Off to Kofi who cleans a house that wasn’t very dirty in the first place. Boom Drop gets two and it’s Trouble in Paradise time, but Primo breaks it up. The kick hits Epico a second later but the Shooting Star takes too long to hit. Backstabber keeps the titles on the champs at 2:20.

Ace is in the back when Otunga comes in. He hands Ace an envelope which isn’t spoken of again. Someone comes in and Ace puts him in the main event: a six man with Bryan/Punk vs. Otunga/Ziggler/Henry. It’s Jericho, who turns off the lights, turns on the jacket, and poses.

The envelope that Otunga handed Ace was a doctor’s update on Ryder. We go to the back where Ryder is with Eve. His ribs are all taped up. Josh comes up and they say that he’s in no condition to compete. He says he won’t forfeit the title and Eve says she’ll go with him.

We get a video from last week about Kane/Ryder/Cena and all that stuff.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder’s offense can’t do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder’s ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb…and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.

After a break Ace says that Ryder wasn’t medically cleared. And that’s it.

Great and no it’s Hilton time. He’s booed out of the freaking building. Thank you Anaheim.

Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox vs. Bella Twins

Perez breaks up Twin Magic and Kelly gets a rollup at 55 seconds. GET RID OF THIS DIVISION ALREADY.

Rumble moment: 92 with Flair’s marathon. Heenan’s reaction to Flair being #3 is left out here for no apparent reason.

Here’s Truth but before he can say anything cue Barrett. Barrett: “R-Truth…if that’s even your real name.” Ok that made me smile. Truth is officially in the Rumble and Foley isn’t. Truth says Barrett talks funny. The fans are allowed to WHAT him. Truth went to Disneyland this morning and it made him smile. He has a slideshow to show us. First of all he met Mickie and Minnie. And Donald Duck.

Then he met Pinocchio who said Barrett is winning the Rumble. The picture of Pinocchio’s nose grows. Truth: “I don’t even know if that’s PG.” Truth bashes Barrett when Miz jumps him. Sheamus makes the save. Cue Teddy who is here because….I have no idea. Let’s have an over the top rope challenge.

Sheamus vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett

After the feuds pair off, everyone joins up to throw out Barrett. Truth and Sheamus get into it but Miz takes them both down. Sheamus “hits” three double axes (and by that I mean they missed by six inches each) and the forearms to the chest. Brogue Kick misses and Miz can’t knock him out. Sheamus tries to put him out but Truth throws them both out to win at 5:10.

Rating: D. The match was just there but the point was to remind people that the Rumble is actually happening. Not bad and nice to play up the anyone can win aspect. Barrett going out first like that was kind of surprising. Still though, it was nothing special, but it wasn’t really supposed to be.

Miz gets his head kicked off post match.

Cena comes in to yell at Ace who makes Cena vs. Kane for the PPV. Cena vs. Swagger is…next?

Jack Swagger vs. John Cena

Cena takes his head off before the bell even rings. Out to the floor and Cena keeps destroying him. The bell never rang and Cena beats the tar out of him. Let me guess: embrace the hate right? Cena sets to crush Swagger’s skull with the steps but cue Kane’s pyro and music. Kane pops up on the monitor and says Cena will have embraced the hate by the Rumble. You know, because Cena has NEVER been violent or aggressive before right? Give me a break. There was no match.

Here’s Brodus who has a new intro with I’m assuming his dancing chicks talking about how he’s the only Funkasaurus in captivity.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

JTG gets molested but he does manage to get in a punch. Brodus does his chatting during the match. Corner splash sets up the cross body and we’re done at 1:09. The finisher is called Funky. Ok then.

We recap Show running over AJ last week.

Here’s Bryan for an update on her. He runs down Big Show for what happened and says they were fake tears. Show should never show his face on Smackdown. Violence is threatened if he does appear. Bryan is dedicating his match Friday to AJ.

Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry/David Otunga

Punk vs. Ziggler gets us going. The champ takes over to start and a snap suplex gets two. Off to Bryan who might have tweeked his knee. Ziggler DDTs it and it’s off to Otunga. Bryan takes a beating but it’s off to Punk vs. Otunga. Notice that Jericho hasn’t been in there yet. Ziggy comes back in and stomps away on the champ. Punk gets in a shot and Jericho wants in but Ziggler stops it and it’s back to Otunga.

Naturally Punk beats him down, hits the Macho Elbow and it’s off to Jericho. Jericho plays to the crowd instead of going after Otunga though….and tags out to Bryan, walks up the ramp, and leaves. We take a break as no one is quite sure what’s going on. Back with Bryan in trouble and it’s off to Punk quickly. He hits the springboard clothesline but Henry comes in. Everything breaks down and Bryan pops Henry, but Mark screams at him. Bryan hobbles away and they fight up the aisle.

Ok so it’s 2-1 now more or less. Henry is beating Bryan up….and here’s Foley? The fans seemingly boo this out of the building but it’s hard to tell. Fameasser gets two on Punk. Punk gets in a kick and it’s off to Foley who gets a pop so I must have misunderstood the reaction earlier. He destroys Otunga and hits the running knee in the corner. Double arm DDT hits and it’s Socko! It gets the win at 14:43.

Rating: C. Well that was a mess. Foley and Punk are announced as the winners and I have no idea how you get to that conclusion. Either way, the match was a mess with a bunch of stuff with some wrestling thrown in. I really don’t get what they were going with here but it continues the working theme that nothing has much of a plan that I can see.

Ace comes out post match and reverses the decision. Punk gets in his face and says the reason Ace doesn’t like Punk is because Ace never was anything but a look. He was the brother of a Road Warrior but he was nothing more than roadkill. It kills Ace that he never made it to this level as a competitor. Punk swears he’s going to get cheated at the Rumble because Ace can’t stand that Punk is the champion. No matter what, Punk will still be better than Ace because the people will be talking about Ace for the first time, but it’ll be because Punk is going to destroy him. Punk fakes him out with a punch and calls Ace pathetic.

Punk leaves and Foley gets Ace a very funny double thumbs up. Ace is ticked off but we’re not done yet. He says he’ll be the future permanent GM of Raw and he won’t be intimidated by Punk. Foley says just admit that you’re going to screw Punk. He calls Ace a sycophant, which is New York Times bestsellerish for kiss-up. Ace wants to know who Foley thinks he is. He admits he’s going to screw Punk because he’s tired of being bullied because he’s not appreciated for putting on the best shows he can. He hits Foley with the mic

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this show tonight. I’ve certainly seen worse, but the booking ticked me off. The whole US Title changing hands is stupid as they had Ryder get one of the most unique pushes ever and then he loses the title less than a month later? WHY? Anyway other than that (and the announcers being more excited about Perez Hilton than a title change), the show was just kind of there. They’ve barely built up to the Rumble at all which is pretty stupid, but hey it’s not like PPV means anything anymore right? It’s about TV ratings and that’s it it seems. The ending however helped the title scene A LOT.

Results
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Rollup to Brie Bella
R-Truth b. The Miz, Sheamus and Wade Barrett in an over the top rope challenge
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Funky
Dolph Ziggler/David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Chris Jericho via DQ when Mick Foley interfered

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Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2012
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Another Friday, another Smackdown. The main event tonight is Show vs. Bryan again, but this time it’s no DQ and no countout. They’re stacking the deck against Bryan, but that means he’ll probably escape with the title as that’s how most of these matches work on these big TV shows. Should be interesting though. Let’s get to it.

They do the thing where the show starts with what seems like a promo.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Perez Hilton, who WWE.com says will be refereeing a match on Raw.

Lillian opens the show by bringing out Daniel Bryan. The fans don’t seem thrilled to see him. He’s being booed now but it’s not full blown yet. Once he talks about Big Show and defeating him last week it is though. Bryan says the fans on the message rooms and chatrooms (seriously?) because those people saying that he goaded Henry into doing that are wrong.

Bryan calls for Henry’s suspension for ruining the match and here’s Henry in the flesh. He yells at Bryan and says he had a meeting with Teddy as well. Due to Bryan goading him, he’s banned from ringside tonight. Bryan says that’s good so Henry calls him Tiny Tim. If Henry stays out of it tonight, he gets a shot next week.

Kofi says don’t try this at home, school or anywhere.

Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater

This is due to Gabriel making the save last week after Slater attacked Hornswoggle. They speed things up to start as Booker says Slater is just some guidance away from being something special. Gabriel kicks him in the face to take over but walks into a neckbreaker for two. Slater goes up but Horny’s music hits. The distraction lets Gabriel knock him down so that the 450 can get Gabriel the win at 2:46.

Bryan is warming up when AJ comes up. She’s proud of him and says she loves him. She leaves and Bryan seems pleased.

The Rumble Moment is from 1998 with Austin winning his first.

Here’s Cody to make fun of the people in Laredo only speaking Spanish. He wants to remind everyone that he’s been IC Champion for five months, which is cinco if the people are confused. He lists off some names he’s been champion longer than. Cody says he’s going to pull an Ultimate Warrior (which could mean a lot of things. His words, not mine) but he means being a double champion. He officially announces that he’s in the Rumble.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes over to start and Cole gets into it with Booker in possibly record time. Rhodes stomps him down and Josh does his usual job of getting us back on track by asking Booker what his thoughts are on Cody’s plans to be a double champion. Booker says good luck and it’s back to him vs. Cole. Total squash as the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes end this at 2:15.

You still shouldn’t try this at home.

Edge’s HOF video.

Santino is giving Teddy some new match ideas. A cage match with a giant cage with a medium cage inside and a small cage inside of that. Santino’s next idea is to go back and reverse Jack Tunney’s decision about allowing reptiles at ringside. Teddy has no idea what he’s talking about so Otunga pops up. They talk about the Rumble and David is here to get the names of the Smackdown guys in the Rumble. This turns into Santino vs. Otunga later. They leave and someone knocks. Teddy thinks it’s Aksana but it’s McIntyre. Teddy says he’s getting close to being fired so win tonight. Drew tries to talk but gets thrown out.

Drew McIntyre vs. Ted DiBiase

Hunico and Camaco on the BICYCLE OF DEATH come out pre match. Drew hits a very fast big boot for two. Hunico jumps in on commentary as Drew is knocked to the floor where DiBiase hits a nice suicide dive. Drew takes over again and I think Camacho is on commentary as well. Hunico says DiBiase should have one of his parties in the barrio. DiBiase comes back with the following clothesline for two. Ted jumps into a punch which gets two for McIntyre. Camacho says Hunico saved his life in the barrio which is why Camacho hangs out with him. Drew gets crotched on the top and Dream Street ends this at 3:46.

Rating: D+. Nothing here but the main idea was to have Hunico and Camacho further the story with Ted which is fine. Not a great match or anything but it did its job and that’s all it needed to do. I’m still amazed at how far Drew has fallen since he was so dominant for so long. It really goes to show you what getting beaten up by a blonde in a hotel room can do to your career.

Video on Wade Barrett’s career accomplishments thus far.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal says something we can’t understand but apparently it translates to he’s going to win the Rumble. Sheamus pounds him into the corner, beating him like a stepchild as he’s done in almost all of their matches. He loads up the Cross but Jinder rolls to the floor. Slingshot shoulder gets two. There are the forearms in the ropes but Mahal gets in an elbow to escape. A jumping knee to the face gets one. Neckbreaker gets two and there’s the chinlock. Sheamus powers out of it and now hits the forearms. Top rope shoulder puts Jinder down and the Brogue Kick ends this at 3:53.

Rating: D+. For the life of me I do not understand what they want to do with Mahal. They had him run through jobbers to start, then they had him come back against DiBiase now they have him get built up for a bit but Sheamus beats him about 4 times in about 15 minutes combined. I don’t get it. This was just a step above a squash.

The referee is talking to Show in the back. Show says he knows the rules and everything is cool. Cue AJ who comes up to Show’s nipples. She’s worried about Daniel but Show says he’s not out to hurt Daniel. Bryan pops up and accuses Show of trying to steal his girl. Show says the title has changed Bryan and he’s not sure if it’s for the better. After tonight, that won’t be a problem. Show leaves and Bryan asks AJ if Show intimidated her. AJ says no and Bryan says he won’t let anything happen to her.

Don’t be a bully.

Another Rumble Moment: HHH wins in 2002.

Santino Marella vs. David Otunga

I don’t see the string of short matches being broken here. They go to the mat quickly with Santino being in control. Otunga takes him down and yells a lot but gets rolled up for two. An elbow drop gets two for David. Santino comes back with his usual stuff but the Cobra is blocked. Otunga grabs him into a fireman’s carry but tilts him down, driving him into kind of a reverse Emerald Flowsion. Imagine the same style move but starting in a Samoan Drop position instead of a powerslam position. Either way it gets the pin at 2:12.

The Horsemen are going to the HOF.

Still don’t try this at home. They’re drilling this into us tonight. Not a bad thing but they’re saying it a lot.

Raw ReBound eats up some time. Ryder isn’t severely hurt. Thank goodness.

IT’S FUNKASAURUS TIME!!!

Brodus Clay vs. Tyson Kidd

He gets the same entrance as on Raw, and the biggest thing he’s got going for him: he’s giving this everything he’s got. That sentence took longer than the match. Cross body and we’re done in 12 seconds. Literally, that’s it. You can’t say he’s forgettable.

Teddy is dancing to Clay’s song when Aksana comes in. She asks about the show in Vegas next week and Teddy implies stuff happening there. She wants to go to the roulette tables so she can hit on black. That chokes Teddy up but he says he’s fine.

Video on Santino, who is apparently tough.

Another Rumble video, this time on Shawn.

Tamina vs. Natalya

Natalya starts fast with a slap and suplex for two. Samoan drop, Superfly Splash, pin at 56 seconds. WHY DO THEY BOTHER WITH THESE THINGS???

As Tamina is leaving, Barrett comes out. I don’t think they’re related though. He says he’s not impressed by Sheamus, that he’ll win the Rumble, and God save the Queen. And that’s it. Ok then.

Same Kofi promo from earlier. That’s 4 times tonight.

Sheamus vs. Barrett next week, along with Henry’s title shot.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan

No DQ and no countout here with Henry getting the winner next week. AJ comes out too and my goodness she looks good. Bryan offers a handshake but Show gorilla presses him instead. There are the chops in the corner and a big toss. Bryan can sell quite well. Bryan gets in a few kicks in the corner but as he goes up, Show spears him out of the air and Bryan falls to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Show putting Bryan on the table and slapping him hard. Bryan manages to get a chair and hit about ten shots. Show shrugs them off and gets the chair. Bryan looks TERRIFIED. Show is smiling and the fans are cheering for him. Bryan manages to knock him off the apron and hit a few more shots but Show knocks it away again like it’s nothing. Back in the ring more kicks don’t do much to Show. A DDT onto the chair gets two and a power kickout from Show. Show slaps Bryan’s chest and takes over again.

Chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a chop block. Back to the chair but Show punches it back, sending it partially into Bryan’s face. They go outside and Show sets up the announce table. Bryan breaks up the chokeslam and hits about 4 more chair shots, bringing the total up to around 20. He tries the running knee off the apron but jumps into a chop. Bryan runs and Show accidentally runs over AJ. The match is stopped and we’re done at roughly 8:15 shown of roughly 11:45.

Rating: C-. I liked the idea here, but at the end of the day we got the point about halfway through this: Bryan can’t hurt Show no matter what he does to him. After we established that, they basically did the same thing over and over again. It wasn’t a bad match, but it was repetitive. That’s what I was kind of worried about when this feud started.

AJ goes out on a stretcher. Show looks like he’s about to cry. It didn’t look like there was a ton of contact but the size difference makes up for it I guess. Bryan rips into Show, yelling about how the title isn’t worth this and calls Show a bastard. But did Show’s mama say so? Show is distraught to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. One thing Smackdown is really good at: they cover A LOT of stuff in one show. There were 8 matches, and yes most of them were really short, but it’s an old school style as it allows them to cover a bunch of stories in one show. With the Rumble coming up, most of the roster is only really going to be able to say that they’re going to win the Rumble and that’s about it. The PPV will be about four matches long so most of the people have no reason to get into major stories, which is fine. Good show, but the short matches got a bit annoying.

Results
Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater – 450 Splash
Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes
Ted DiBiase b. Drew McIntyre – Dream Street
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick
David Otunga b. Santino Marella – Over the shoulder piledriver
Brodus Clay b. Tyson Kidd – Cross body
Tamina b. Natalya – Superfly Splash
Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan went to a no contest

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But wouldn’t the ending mean that Hardy won by DQ and therefore is champion???

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s after Genesis now so it basically means a new day for TNA. Roode is still champion, Angle tied up the series with Storm, no titles changed, and basically the whole show didn’t change anything. Against All Odds is next and we have probably even more rematches to look forward to. Anyway, hopefully things are a little more interesting in the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Genesis where Roode kept the title via getting himself disqualified.

Here’s Roode who says he’s the most dominant champion ever and that he’s beaten everyone put in front of him. He wants Hardy to come out and shake his hand but gets Sting instead. Sting talks to Roode like he’s an idiot and says he wants to beat him up. It results in Hardy vs. Roode tonight.

Earlier today, Morgan got here and ran into Crimson. Crimson says he got a Direct Auto Insurance policy. Are you kidding me? They have a match tonight too against the Robs.

Robbie E/Robbie T vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here. Crimson starts off with E so it’s off to T quickly. And then T runs him over and it’s back to E. Crimson and Morgan take turns destroying him. Carbon Footprint takes down T and a double spinebuster ends this in 1:58. Total squash.

Joe and Magnus run out and jump the champs post match.

Eric is here.

We recap Garrett vs. his pappy and Gunner.

Cue Eric to the arena. Eric talks about how it’s not that easy to be a wrestler. You have to have talent to go with the chance. Eric may have made everything he’s done look easy, but it doesn’t work that way. Garrett comes out and says he’s not quitting because his dad says so. He lists off the top guys that he’s learning from and says he’s going to stick with this. Garrett says he isn’t going to quit and that he has a new trainer who is going to shock Eric. Garrett goes to leave but Eric stops him. The sonny grabs him by the neck and says never touch him again.

Angelina and Winter say they need to remind people who they are.

We recap ODB and Eric. Oh joy. They’re in the back and she says it was a one time thing.

Winter vs. ODB

Eric is doing his usual insane stuff. ODB chest bumps Winter and sends her flying but a Bronco Buster doesn’t hit. Winter puts her in a Tree of Woe. Off to a quick chinlock but ODB comes back with a fallaway slam and nip up….and here’s Eric to give Angelina an airplane spin. TKO beats Winter at 3:32. It’s called the Bam apparently.

Rating: D. Whatever as usual with the girl matches in whatever company they’re in. Eric is so much more bearable when he’s not TV Champion. Or stripping. Not a terrible match but it was there for Eric and that’s about it. Either way, you know the wacky romance is going to continue, but that’s ok I guess.

Here’s AJ who wants to talk to Kaz. It doesn’t take long for him to get here and AJ is mad. He wants to know why Kaz turned on him. Kaz was supposed to be the level headed one and the calm one. This happened last year with Daniels, so why is it happening here? AJ keeps yelling and Kaz says he can’t tell him. Daniels pops up and says he can. He says he’s tired of Kaz carrying AJ and that AJ is a lost cause. Daniels tells Kaz to leave which he does, so AJ CHUCKS the mic (from like two and a half feet) at Daniels and the beatdown is on. Kaz pulls him to safety but doesn’t look happy that he did so.

Ray and Roode are in the back and Ray points out that he was trending on Twitter. Roode gives me the high point of his career: saying there are more important things than Twitter. Ray won’t shut up about it while Roode freaks out about the title match later. He says he’ll have Roode’s back in exchange for a shot. Roode agrees, but doesn’t seem sincere.

Here’s Storm and he demands Angle come out, so here’s baldie himself. Storm slaps the mic out of his hand and says Angle cheated, because he’s beaten Angle twice but Kurt had to cheat to beat him. Angle says he’s done with Storm and wants the title. Sting comes out and quickly says in the title match, if Roode gets disqualified he loses the title. Also tonight, it’s the rubber match and the winner gets a title shot in the future.

Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

Angle had only until we came back from a break to get his gear, which he says he doesn’t have. After the break there’s no Kurt. Earl starts the count and Angle makes it in at 9, putting the singlet on as he runs. Storm pounds him down quickly and Angle goes shoulder first into the post. A DDT on the arm gets two. Storm goes after the hand because we’ve always heard about Angle’s grip. Angle tries to roll away and hits the floor where he finally gets in some shots to break the momentum.

Still outside, Angle pops off a belly to belly and we take a break. Back with Angle getting two off something we didn’t see. Snap suplex gets two for Kurt. After more beatings, they both try a cross body to knock them both down. Storm hammers away and hits a Backstabber. A backbreaker sets up the fabled jump into the boot but Storm grabs the foot and puts on the ankle lock. Kurt kicks him off and the Slam gets two. Angle pounds away on Storm and goes outside.

He picks up the beer bottle and brings it in, but Hebner takes it. The distraction lets Kurt spit beer in Storm’s face and the kick to the head, which isn’t super at all, for two. Storm grabs a Codebreaker out of nowhere and the Last Call ends this at 15:57. The ending came out of nowhere. Storm is #1 contender.

Rating: B-. Not as good as their other matches but it picked up a lot after the break. Another clean win over Storm isn’t going to hurt Storm at all though so no complaints there at all. Hopefully this sets up Storm vs. Roode in a big long match, but I have a feeling that’ll be saved for a major show. At least I hope it will.

Tessmacher is in some Hooters pageant.

Sting is at a photo shoot when Madison comes up. She says he can officially make her VP of the Knockouts but he says no. Instead he makes her vs. Mickie next week in a cage.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Roode chills on the floor before the match so Hardy dives on him to take over. Dixie is at ringside. They haven’t both been in the ring yet. Hardy dominates to start but Roode gets in a shot, only to have his piledriver attempt blocked and a slingshot sends him into the post. Twist of Fate is countered but Jeff hits a clothesline and they go in. And there’s the bell? I thought I missed it. Ok so we got three minutes of brawling beforehand. Got it.

Clothesline gets two for Hardy. Roode gets knocked outside again and we take a break. Back with them still on the floor and Hardy trying Poetry in Motion into the railing. He totally crashes and burns, which makes me shake my head when people are surprised that he has a drug problem. Jeff makes it back in at nine so Roode pounds on him even more. Blockbuster gets two. Jeff hits a jawbreaker and Russian legsweep for two. Whisper in the Wind gets two.

Twist is countered into the spinebuster and Roode tries the fisherman’s suplex but Jeff counters into another Twist. Swanton misses and Roode grabs a cover for two. This is getting really good. Twisting Stunner and Twist of Fate set up the Swanton and Roode is in BIG trouble. Hardy covers….and here’s Bully Ray to beat up the referee. The match is thrown out at let’s say 13:00.

Rating: B. Really good TV match here but again, it’s the same match that was at the PPV but better. Why would I want to buy a PPV when I could see this four days later for free? Why couldn’t this match happen at Genesis? I’ll never get parts of this company. Anyway, really good TV match here and I was getting into it before the bad ending.

Overall Rating: B. Good show tonight, but I seriously worry about this company’s long term planning abilities. Storm vs. Angle and Hardy vs. Roode were PPV matches 4 days ago and now they’re given away for free (one of which with a better ending) later in the week? At some point, you’re going to have a problem convincing fans to buy your shows when they could see the same matches with more stipulations later that week.

It’s like they’re trying to pop the TV ratings (which would make more sense if they advertised these matches and waited until next week but whatever) instead of running a regular show. Whatever though, as I’m sure some TNA superfan will explain why I’m crazy. Good show this week, but it was totally lopsided as the first hour was worthless while the second was great.

Results
Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Double spinebuster to Robbie E
ODB b. Winter – The Bam
James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Last Call
Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Bully Ray interfered

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And I’m sure people still want to turn him heel right?  I’ll never get some people.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 2012
Location: American Bank Center Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the week after HE IS HERE and Chris Jericho is back. That being said, I don’t know what to expect from him. Maybe he’ll actually say something this time? Either way, things almost have to be better than they were last week. We’re getting close to Rumble time too which is always interesting. Let’s get to it.

After a video of the ending of last week’s show, here’s Kane to open the show. He says people are wondering why he’s embracing hate, and it’s because the people are in denial. Everyone gets up next to a spouse they can’t stand and go to a job they hate and go home to children who are brats. Everyone has delusions of hope like Cena himself does.

Cena represents hope and success. The people should see Cena as unfulfilled hopes and dreams. The people are all liars when they cheer for Cena because they think cheering for an underdog makes them good. Look at Zack Ryder for example: The people made him a star because he’s an underdog. Last week Kane tried to drag Ryder to the depths but Cena stopped him. That just delayed the inevitable though, because Kane wants consequences.

Cue Cena and it’s a brawl immediately. A clothesline puts Kane outside and they brawl up the aisle. They fight into the back and they’re outside. They’re over a kind of pit which looks to be a few feet deep but you can see the bottom. There’s a production truck and Cena is knocked into some metal stuff next to it. He hits Kane in the leg with a pipe but is knocked into some boxes. He gets up and Kane is gone as we go to a break.

Sheamus/Santino Marella vs. Jinder Mahal/Wade Barrett

All four are officially in the Rumble. The non-main event guys start us off as Cole tries to explain to us what the turban is for because he’s a man of the world or something. Off to the Englishman who beats up the Canditalian who is waiting on the tag to the Irishman so he can hopefully beat up the Indian that he’s mad at. There’s the tag and Sheamus cleans house. Brogue Kick to Mahal and the Cobra gets the pin at 2:52. This was nothing, and Mahal continues to look like nothing compared to Sheamus.

Miz complains to Ace and Otunga about the Truth attacks lately. Brodus is debuting tonight apparently. Miz wants private security but Ace says he’s Big Johnny, not Little Jimmy.

We get a Hall of Fame inductee announced tonight.

The first inductee is…….Edge. We get a video about his career. There’s going to be a second inductee tonight as well. Cool.

Miz is trying to get a bodyguard in the form of Mason Ryan but he gets turned down.

Ryder is on the phone with his dad, talking about how afraid he is of Kane. Eve pops up and he says he’ll beat Kane up later. He’s off the phone and asks Eve for another date. She actually says yes but it’s after her match later. Both of them leave separately and a door opens behind Ryder. Kane pokes his head in and then goes back out as we go to a break.

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Well this is a surprise. This was set up via a video on WWE.com where Kofi questioned Bryan’s methods of winning the world title. I hope they showed that to the live crowd. Bryan’s weight is up to 210lbs so maybe they’re back to faking weights. Kofi hits a springboard cross body for a fast two but Bryan rolls him up for the same. This is non-title if I didn’t mention that. Bryan does his corner moonsault so Kofi comes out of the corner with a cross body. In a SLICK counter, Bryan lands in the LeBell Lock and we’re done at 1:14.

Bryan does the big celebration again post match. And here’s Big Show. He gets in the ring and Bryan begs off, saying he hated the ending to the title match. The title is too important to end like that. He offers Show a title match anytime he wants. Show says Teddy agrees as well, so there’s going to be a title match on Friday, no DQ and no count-outs. Oh dear. They shake hands and Show leaves.

Royal Rumble Moment is the end of 1994 with the double winners.

Justin Roberts introduces Brodus Clay as being from the Planet Funk and being the Funk-o-Saurus. He has dancers and is coming out to ERNEST MILLER’S WWE music. WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I WATCHING??? He’s DANCING! I swear I’m not making this up. He’s in a red track suit and has a red hat on.

Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkins

Total squash and he dances a lot. A cross body ends this in 65 seconds. This is BIZARRE.

Zack Ryder is brushing his teeth and looking in a mirror. He keeps thinking someone is watching him and leavesl.

Miz tries to get Rosa and Epico/Primo to protect him. They say no and leave but Punk pops up to NO reaction.

They go to a break here and thank goodness. I need a minute after what I just saw with Brodus.

Jack Swagger vs. CM Punk

Ace comes out and says that if Punk wins, Swagger and Vickie are barred from ringside at the Rumble. Ziggler tonight has to fight Cena to keep things fair. Feeling out process to start with Punk working a headlock but Swagger taking it to the mat. Punk goes up for the elbow so Jack hits the floor. Swagger takes over with his size advantage and hooks a quickly countered ankle lock. Off to a double chicken wing kind of hold and then a waistlock. Swagger is knocked to the floor and a suicide dive takes him out as we go to a break.

Back with Punk starting his comeback. He fires off some strikes and hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is thrown off and the Vader Bomb gets two. Another attempt at a Bomb is countered but Swagger takes over again quickly. He loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off for a top rope elbow….for the pin? I thought he kicked out but apparently not as Punk gets the pin at 13:57.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here despite what the referee shows was a bad call at the end. Not sure if that’ll play into the Ace as referee thing or not but it could have been an honest mistake. I mean it’s not like Swagger was going to win either way. Decent match and while I think Swagger should go face, he’ll be ok as a jobber to the stars like this.

Replay shows that it was a bad call and Cole freaks.

We see the ending of the Cena vs. Kane fight earlier.

Cena and Ryder are in the back talking and Ryder thanks Cena for everything he’s done for him.

The Bellas are talking in the back when Ricardo pops up. They brought him all the way from Mexico to give Del Rio a message. Miz interrupts them and says Ricardo is going to draw out R-Truth by insulting him. Ricardo says no but Miz threatens him.

The second HOF inductee: It’s still not Savage, but it’s THE FOUR HORSEMEN!!!

Here’s Ricardo to insult Truth but he’s very nervous to do so. He says that Truth’s breath smells like a rotten burrito and that’s enough to draw Truth out. Truth doesn’t know why Ricardo would want to pick a fight with him. Even Little Jimmy thinks he’s a good R-Truth now. He asks Little Jimmy if he should let Ricardo go. Apparently Jimmy doesn’t like Ricardo so Truth should turn Ricardo into a human pinata.

Ricardo freaks out so Truth asks for a song. La Cucaracha in fact. Ricardo gets WAY into this and even says this is a remix halfway though. Truth asks him to do it again and Ricardo knocks the mic out of his hand. Ricardo takes a Little Jimmy and here’s Miz for the beatdown.

Jericho time. He gets an entrance from Roberts and does the same entrance that he did last week. He’s doing the same thing he did last week with the whole running around the ring. No mic that I can see. Oh now he has one and the music ends. He poses on the corner and hasn’t talked yet. The mic is to his chest….(this is high drama stuff people) and he looks like he’s about to cry. He takes a minute to compose himself…..and is now crying. The music comes on and he walks out, still not saying anything.

Another Rumble Moment: 98, Austin wins.

Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve has new music I think. It’s 10:51 before Beth comes out so they’re going to have to blaze through this. And never mind because here’s Kane. Since women in wrestling are idiots, Eve gets out of the ring and STANDS THERE. Ryder runs out to save her and they run off to the side of the tron. No match.

We cut to the back and Ryder throws her into a car. The tire is flat though, so Ryder CHANGES THE TIRE. We take a break as Pep Boy #4 keeps at it.

Ryder defends against Swagger next week.

Ryder is still changing the tire when we get back. Call AAA dude. I’m sure they have some luchadores that could help you.

John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler

No entrance for Dolph and the bell rings at 10:59. Ziggler starts fast and hits a quick Fameasser for two. Off to a chinlock and Ziggler does a headstand while holding it. Cole: “You couldn’t do that King.” Lawler: “Why would I want to?” Good question. Ziggler drops some elbows and does the situps. Cena starts his comeback and we cut to the back where Ryder is STILL changing the tire.

Kane finally comes to attack him and Ziggler throws on a sleeper. We cut to the back again and Kane chokeslams him into the pit I mentioned at the beginning of the show. Ziggler puts on another sleeper but Cena hits an AA to escape. He goes to the back and I guess the match is thrown out at about 5:00. I’m not going to rate it due to the match just being a placeholder for the angle. It was nothing of note anyway.

Cena gets out there and Kane jumps him. He smothers Cena down again and Ryder is just laying on the wooden pallet he was chokeslammed onto. Cena is left laying too. Kane stands very tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very different kind of show but I was liking it a lot. Things were a lot more comedy based than they were last week and it was certainly a more memorable show. The wrestling was just ok but they played things up as over the top and overly dramatic tonight and I thought it made for a much better show. Also the HOF stuff is a nice touch so few complaints here, other than the lack of in ring action.

Results
Sheamus/Santino Marella b. Wade Barrett/Jinder Mahal – Cobra to Mahal
Daniel Bryan b. Kofi Kingston – LeBell Lock
Brodus Clay b. Curt Hawkins – Cross Body
CM Punk b. Jack Swagger – Top Rope Elbow Drop
John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest

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