Monday Nitro #121
Date: January 5, 1998
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 26,773
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

It’s been a week since the mess with Hogan and Sting to end the last episode and from what I understand, nothing has been announced yet. Odds are that’s going to be saved for the first episode of Thunder which airs three days after this show. We’re in a new year here though so things should be pretty big tonight to give them a good start. Let’s get to it.

We open with two limos pulling up, bringing the NWO in full force. They don’t seem to be too pleased with each other so Tony is in a frenzy.

The announcers talk about the cameras rolling after the show went off the air last week, but there’s a court injunction keeping them from showing us the tape. That’s all the explanation we’re given, but that sounds so appropriate for WCW. I’m not even going to bother to ask the variety of questions that statement brings up.

JJ says he thinks Sting is champion (Tony already told us that) and he’s sorry for the near riot that took place in Baltimore last week. Apparently lawyers from both sides have wanted the tape but it’s in a judge’s chambers. YOUR tax dollars at work people! Apparently the tape will be released in 24 hours and we can see it on the debut episode of Thunder. Boy that’s convenient. We’ll also see video from Starrcade on Thursday about the fast count and all that jazz.

Here’s Jericho with a chair and a suit jacket in his hands. He wants to apologize for his actions last week because that’s not the real Chris Jericho. The real Jericho is the one standing here right now. He understands that a lot of people look up to him and that wasn’t the right reaction. Jericho gives Penzer a new chair to sit in and a new suit jacket to wear. That will NEVER happen again.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title here. Feeling out process to start with Page taking over via a swinging neckbreaker. They get back up and slap hands before Jericho is run over with a shoulder block. Tony is still shocked by the fifteen members of the NWO showing up in two limos. We get another standoff and Jericho offers a handshake, only to sucker Page in with a right hand. Not that it matters as the Diamond Cutter hits for the pin a few seconds later.

Jericho has another fit post match.

Gene talks to some WCW lawyer who reads a prepared statement, basically saying any WCW wrestlers violating WCW policies will be fined or suspended. Also if the NWO violates a policy on Nitro, they’re fined or suspended too. That’s certainly riveting information.

Bill Goldberg vs. Stevie Ray

Goldberg pounds him down to start but Stevie escapes a powerslam and hits a belly to back suplex for no cover. A clothesline gets two for Stevie but Goldberg’s second powerslam attempt works fine. Off to a quick chinlock but Stevie comes back with a superkick. Not that it matters as it’s the spear and Jackhammer to keep Goldie undefeated.

Nitro Girls.

John Nord vs. Barbarian

You might remember Nord as the Berzerker from the early 90s. He’s part of a new wave of talent coming in apparently, which will also include a former WWF Tag Team Champion debuting later tonight. Nord is just a guy in white trunks and furry boots here. They clothesline each other and no one goes anywhere but another clothesline puts Barbarian on the floor. Nord, a big guy in his own right, hits a dive over the top to crush Barbarian but he stops to go after Jimmy Hart. Barbie rams him into the barricade but Nord sends him head first into the steps.

They whip each other into the barricade as this is way more energetic than you would expect it to be. Back in and Nord hits a Samoan drop for no cover followed by a series of elbow drops. Jimmy gets choked a bit but Barbarian hits a big boot to the jaw, sending Nord out to the floor. Back in and a pumphandle slam gets two for Barbarian before he chops Nord in the corner. Nord misses a charge into the corner and falls outside again, only to come back in with a middle rope elbow. A modified camel clutch by Nord (Nord was sitting almost on the mat while pulling back on the chin) is good for the submission.

Rating: C+. This was WAY better than I ever could have expected it to be as Nord looked pretty solid out there. Barbarian was his usual self but a bit more physical than he usually was, making for a pretty solid surprise here. I barely remember Nord at all around this time which is one of the fun parts of rewatching these shows. Good stuff here.

Here’s Bischoff for a chat. He says there are no problems in the NWO so the announcers can forget about it. The fans boo him and Eric loses his cool. He goes on a rant about how Hogan beat Sting twice in a row and how there’s no tape or anything and WCW is just scared of the people seeing it. Eric says Nitro should belong to the NWO after the kick to the head, but we’ll see that on Thunder as well. Eric is still ticked off and walks out.

We look at Ultimo Dragon winning the Cruiserweight Title last week from Eddie.

Psychosis vs. Juventud Guerrera

The winner gets the first shot at Dragon. Apparently we’re going to see Bischoff vs. Zbyszko in its entirety on Thunder. Good to know I paid to see it live because I can now see it again less than two weeks later. Psychosis takes him down twice in a row to start but misses a splash in the corner to let Juvy fire off some chops. Juvy sends him to the floor and there’s a big dive to take Psychosis out.

Back in and Psychosis crotches him on the top rope as Tony starts bragging about the NWO not holding any titles. A facejam gets two for Psychosis but the guillotine legdrop misses. Juvy hits a springboard missile dropkick to take out Psychosis’ knee before pounding away at the masked head. Juvy goes up but dives into a dropkick to the ribs to shift momentum again. Psychosis has a powerbomb reversed into a DDT and the 450 sends Juvy to Thunder (where else?) for the title shot.

Rating: C. This was fine. Both guys got to do their thing and it was a nice change of pace from the match we saw just before it. As stupid as some of the main event stuff would get, the lower card stuff on Nitro was almost always an excellent mix of different styles, which is what we got right here.

We get a clip from last April with the NWO having problems to show that this has happened before. What this has to do with anything that’s happened lately is beyond me but it’s hard to keep up with WCW logic at times.

Hour #2 begins.

More Nitro Girls.

Here’s TV Champion Booker T to say it’s awesome that he’s TV Champion. It was for his son apparently.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Prince Iaukea

Feeling out process to start with Booker’s wristlock going nowhere. Instead Booker kicks him in the head and pounds away before getting two off the ax kick. A side kick misses Iaukea though and Booker falls to the floor. Back in and another kick to Iaukea’s head sets up the Harlem Hangover for the pin to retain the title. Total squash.

We get proof of the fast count: stills of Patrick counting it. Tony: “You can see the fast count.” How does this man remember to tie his shoes every morning?

Buff Bagwell/Scott Norton/Konnan vs. Ray Traylor/Steiner Brothers

Traylor and Konnan get things going with Ray missing a charge into the corner and getting clotheslined down. Konnan loads up a DDT but Scott Steiner takes his head off with a clothesline to break it up. Bagwell gets slapped to the floor as Scott Steiner stomps on Konnan’s head. Everything breaks down and the NWO is sent to the floor. Bagwell gets the tag but wants Rick instead of Scott.

Rick poses a bit in a funny spot, causing Buff to go off with right hands. That lasts all of four seconds as Rick suplexes him down and gets two off a Steiner Line. Back to Ray to face Norton with Traylor being taken down like he’s nothing. Ray comes back with an uppercut and it’s back to Rick for a top rope clothesline.

The NWO finally starts cheating to let Buff take over and Rick gets beaten down by all three NWO guys. Rick finally clotheslines Buff down and tags in his brother as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and the Steiners set up the Steiner Bulldog, only to have Scott drop Buff down in an electric chair. Rick is distracted but his brother hits the awesome Steiner Screwdriver on Konnan for the pin. DiBiase gets in some kicks to Vincent for old times’ sake.

Rating: C+. This match goes up a letter or so because of the Steiner Screwdriver. If there has ever been a more devastating looking move I can’t think of it off the top of my head. If you’ve never seen it, picture a delayed vertical suplex but instead of falling back, Scott drops the other guy straight down on his head like a fast piledriver. It’s incredibly dangerous but so sweet to watch. That lack of the Steiner Bulldog at the end isn’t a good sign for the Brothers though.

Here are the Nitro Girls again in case you forgot what they look like.

We look at a fan’s Nitro Party.

Brad Armstrong vs. Rick Martel

This is Martel’s debut and his first national match in years. A quick rollup gets two for Martel as I think Armstrong is the heel here. Brad grabs a headlock as Tony is SURE there are problems in the NWO. Armstrong charges into a knee in the corner and gets caught by a middle rope clothesline for no cover. Brad gets in a forearm out of the corner and chokes away, only to get caught in the Quebec Crab for the win for Martel. Another short match.

More Nitro Girls.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Perry Saturn/Riggs

Benoit and Saturn get things going and the chops start flying fast. Off to Mongo who gets pounded into the corner, only to come out with a hip toss. A powerslam puts Saturn down but Riggs comes in for a double team. Benoit is fine with letting his partner get beaten down by both guys in an odd bit. Riggs trips Mongo up for a clothesline from Saturn before drawing in Benoit to allow more cheating.

The Flock cuts the ring off to keep Mongo in with Saturn putting on a Fujiwara Armbar. A double shoulder puts McMichael down but he hooks a double suplex and makes the hot tag to Benoit. Everything breaks down and there’s the Crossface to Saturn but a Kidman distraction lets Raven hit the DDT on Benoit, giving Saturn the pin.

Rating: C-. They’re taking their sweet time to get to Raven vs. Benoit but that has the potential to be a classic when we get there. The tag match was a fine idea to keep the story going now that Benoit has gone through every individual member of the Flock but hopefully Mongo isn’t a fixture in these matches.

Here’s Ric Flair with something to say. He’s glad WCW is taking over again and is glad that Sting is world champion, but everyone wants the belt. One of the people that wants it is someone that has rubbed him the wrong way: Bret Hart. How can someone like Bret call himself the best when Flair is around? This brings out Hart who says that he’ll say the catchphrase and then say WOO at the end of it.

Flair talks about how Bret is a big time columnist in Canada, but we’re here in Atlanta tonight and Flair is prime USA man. He tells Bret to say it again and Bret does just that. If Flair has a problem with it, too bad. Flair lists off some legendary names and says Hart can believe he’s better than them, but Race and Kiniski and Funk and Brisco aren’t Ric Flair. Bret takes off his jacket and says to be the man you gotta beat the man, which he’s done before. Flair says if you think you’re better than me, let’s see you do it again. AWESOME segment here that makes me want to watch them fight right now.

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

Nick Patrick is the referee here to tick off the announcers. Actually scratch that as JJ comes out to suspend him, drawing out Bischoff to protest. Bagwell and Norton are here with Savage and Luger gets jumped before the bell. An elbow to the face puts Luger down for two and a belly to back suplex gets the same as this is one sided so far.

A slam puts Luger down but Savage jumps into a right hand to the ribs. Luger starts firing off his wide array of clotheslines and the powerslam looks to set up the Rack, only to have Savage bail to the floor. Savage bails to the floor to avoid the Rack and after hiding behind Liz he’s able to send Luger into the barricade to take over. Back in and Luger gets a small package out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D+. These two spent like three years fighting each other and this wasn’t one of their better matches. The match was almost too short to rate and the ending came out of nowhere, making it hard to get into the match at all. Luger was rapidly becoming a shell of himself which would only continue in the coming years.

Post match Savage goes after Luger with a chair but Bischoff pulls the chair away (remember the threat of suspensions earlier tonight). Savage doesn’t know who it was and decks Bischoff, drawing out Hogan to calm things down. Nash comes out and decks Savage as Hogan tries to calm things down. The NWO surrounds Luger but Sting runs in for the save to end things.

Overall Rating: B-. This was actually a pretty solid show with the NWO showing real signs of problems and Sting clearly being the lead soldier in WCW’s war. Add that in with some excellent talking between Bret and Flair and you have a pretty good TV show here. You can see a lot of Souled Out coming together, but right now we’re getting ready for Thunder on Thursday which should be interesting. Good show this week and one of the best in a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade for just $4 from Amazon at:

To promote the new book.  The show is at:

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fanvsfannetwork/2013/05/30/mouth-of-the-south-shore-radio-show

 

Call in at 714-202-9918

I’ll be on at about 9:45 PM EST and should be on for about 45 minutes.  Call in and talk to me if you want.

It’s that time again as I’ve written a new book with ALL NEW reviews of the flagship show of WCW.  There are 18 shows in all in this one, starting back in 1983 and ranging all the way forward through to 2000.  This is exactly what it sounds like and is something a lot of old school WCW and NWA fans will be interested in.  Also, this time the book is only $4 instead of the usual five.

 

The book is available worldwide and can be picked up in America here

In England/Europe here

And in Canada here.

If you live somewhere else and want to pick it up, just search “KB’s History of Starrcade” on your Amazon site and it should be there.

 

It’s an e-book format, but if you don’t have a Kindle or any other kind of e-reader, there are free Apps which can let you read it on your computer, phone or whatever else you prefer.  You can find those free apps here:

 

Apps

 

Anyway, I hope you like it and enjoy.

 

KB

I kid you not, this is real.– It was announced today, via press release, that WWE & Warner Bros are teaming up for a new Flintstones film that will be released in 2015. The film, which is expected to be straight to DVD, is described as follows…

Fred, Barney and the whole Bedrock gang join up with Vince McMagma (Vince McMahon), and WWE Superstars and Divas including John Cenastone (John Cena®) and CM Punkrock (CM Punk®) as part of the very first WWE main event.

Michael Luisi, President, WWE Studios had the following to say about the project….

“WWE is family-friendly entertainment, so partnering with Warner Bros. on a Flintstones/WWE project was a natural extension of our Scooby Doo deal. This new, animated feature allows us to showcase our brand with young fans and loyal Flintstones enthusiasts alike.”

 

As a lifelong fan of both WWE and the Flintstones, my mind is currently blown.  This should be awesome.

Monday Nitro #37
Date: May 27, 1996
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 4,309
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff

 

We’re FINALLY here as we reach probably the most important TV show in wrestling history. First and foremost, tonight Scott Hall is going to debut by jumping the guardrail, more or less shattering the idea that things are predictable on wrestling. That’s the huge deal so I’ll go into detail on how awesome and shocking it was later. Also this is the first two hour Nitro and there’s a new announce team. Let’s get to it.

 

Theme song opens us up.

 

Tony and Larry are the first hour commentators while Heenan and Bischoff will come in later. NO MORE MONGO!!!!! This is a great show so far!

 

American Males vs. Arn Anderson/Ric Flair

 

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Larry calls the Males the young and the useless. That might be the only funny line he has all year so enjoy it while it lasts. Liz looks awesome in blue. Flair vs. Riggs to get us started here. Larry seems like the heel commentator here which wouldn’t last that long. The Horsemen get him on the floor and work him over like the Horsemen are known to do.

 

Yep Larry certainly is because he complains about how the football players that the Horsemen are facing at the next PPV are losers. Everything breaks down and the Males actually clean the ring for a bit. Flair runs over to his VIP table and grabs come champagne for a shot. Well that’s a new one. Things calm down again and it’s Arn vs. Bagwell at the moment.

 

Arn accidentally clotheslines the pole and we take a break. Back with Bagwell fighting out of the corner but he doesn’t tag. And never mind as he brings in Riggs for awhile as Flair chills in the corner. Tony and Larry have been given champagne by Flair. Shame Heenan isn’t there for this one. Flair works on the knee of Riggs as does Arn. Riggs manages to get an enziguri to send Anderson to the floor but as he goes for the tag, Flair and the referee get into a shoving match. Oh never mind as Bagwell gets the tag anyway.

 

Missile dropkick takes down Flair for two and they do the small package bit where the partners keep rolling them over. I love that as the guys don’t kick out for like twenty seconds and just lay there. Fisherman’s suplex hits Flair but Anderson makes the save. Woman saves another pin attempt and Anderson kills Bagwell with a DDT and Flair gets the pin. Quick ending.

 

Rating: C. This was kind of sloppy but for the most part it was fine. No one expected the Males to win here and that’s fine. They weren’t supposed to win anything here and they had a decent match out of it instead. This is what veterans are supposed to do: give the young guys experience and help bring them up slowly. For some reason that rarely happens in most companies and the young guys are seen as weaker when they come up. Either way, just an average match here but it was fine.

 

Anderson isn’t afraid of football players. Flair says his women are attractive and he’ll get Debra. Liz is the Sugar Mama using Savage’s money apparently.

 

Kevin Greene and Mongo are training for their match. This is a waste of time.

 

Steve Doll vs. The Mauler

 

And here it is. Why would this be on TV you ask? The same reason a guy named Steve Gatorwolf was on SNME once: to allow something else to happen. Mauler is Mike Enos and has Colonel Parker with him. Doll means nothing. Crowd is DEAD and the Mauler squashes him for awhile. They both go to the floor and Doll goes into the post. We take a break and come back and you can see him in the crowd.

 

Scott Hall comes over the railing and wants a mic. He says the famous line of you know who I am but you don’t know why I’m here. He calls out some of the big WCW names and has a challenge for Bischoff, Turner, Savage and anyone else that is here in WCW. “You want a war? You gonna get one.” The match of course just ends.

 

Ok so as you likely know, this completely changed wrestling forever for a lot of reasons.

 

1. No one, I mean NO ONE, saw this coming. Hall had literally wrestled less than two weeks prior on a WWF show. Today the 90 day no compete clauses exist because of this moment. If three months had gone by, first of all people would have noticed Hall was missing and there would be a good chance the word could have gotten out that he had signed with WCW. It made things seem like anything could happen on Nitro at the drop of a hat and that made you want to see the show. This was dabbled in with Luger on the debut episode but this blows Luger away.

 

2. Hall’s line about a war made people think that WWF was in on this which was unthinkable. People had jumped before but when they arrived there was fanfare to it and all that jazz. Hall came in through the crowd (by the way if I remember correctly he wouldn’t be named until Bash at the Beach) in street clothes, making it look totally unplanned. The idea of breaking the walls of kayfabe was also unthinkable coming up to this point, which shook everything up.

 

3. This would be the main story for the next three years minimum with all kinds of twists and turns in there. Everything was about Hall and eventually Nash and Hogan, but at this time everything was blown away by what the potential of this could be and it definitely had huge potential to be one of the biggest storylines of all time and it definitely was. It also set up the WWF because they had to respond to it. Granted they didn’t do that for almost 18 months but the idea was there.

 

4. I can’t emphasize this enough but this changed everything. The model before this had been to just go out there and do your thing week in and week out with the same structure every time. This made it look like the script had been thrown out the window and that there was this rogue guy and later this rogue group that didn’t care about the rules and were going to take things over whether you liked it or not. Having it look like the other company is involved in it is a brilliant idea as it looks like something is completely unprepared, which makes you want to see it at the same time. Brilliant.

 

5. Finally, this more or less marks the end of the athletics being the focus of the show. Everything became about drama from this point on. The matches got worse, the young guys got pushed to the back, the storylines and a lot of the face/heel dynamics were abandoned and everything was focused on drama. It wouldn’t really kick in until late July, but from this point on you could see the line of demarcation and how everything would change afterwards. It certainly worked for awhile, but eventually people got tired of it which is what brought the company down, along with about a thousand other things but we’ll get to that later.

 

Craig Pittman vs. Diamond Dallas Page

 

Guy that won a major PPV competition vs. a guy that hasn’t been on Nitro in months. Gee what do you think is going to happen here? No mention of the Hall incident post break. Teddy Long manages Pittman here. Page makes fun of him to start and imitates a soldier. Pittman does one armed pushups and Page thinks for once and tries to jump him. Pittman moved but the idea was nice at least.

 

There’s a slight reference to Hall but it’s not mentioned specifically at all. Page gets choked on the floor by a cord and then gets almost caught in the Code Red (Pittman’s cross armbreaker finisher). Teddy goes down and the distraction sets up the Diamond Cutter to end it. Barely even a match.

 

Video on Randy Savage and how he’s insane now.

 

Shark says he’s out of the Dungeon of Doom. Somehow he has a world title match tonight. They were a lot more liberal with those back then I guess.

 

Video on Hogan and how he’s been chilling with “celebrities” from Hollywood recently. He’s done some charity work too, which is always cool. He’s also been on Baywatch. It’s really funny seeing how big a deal they’re trying to make a guest appearance on Baywatch seem when Rock is a legit big star now.

 

Hour #2 starts. Bischoff says they’re not going to dignify the guy jumping the rail as he dignifies the guy jumping over the rail.

 

WCW World Title: Shark vs. Giant

 

That sounds like a bad Syfy channel movie. Shark is listed from Tsunami. No country or anything. He’s just from a tsunami apparently. Shark (Earthquake) hammers away on Giant. This is somehow fallout from Slamboree as Giant is replacing Shark or something. Shark keeps ramming into him and Giant eventually gets bored and clotheslines him down.

 

Giant chokes with the boot but Shark actually comes off the middle rope with a double axe. The future Big Show is like dude, you’re old and slams him with ease. He held him up there too which looked awesome. They exchange some more big man stuff and I wouldn’t look for this to last much longer at all. Eric says the second hour will start weekly at 8:50 or so. This bothered me back in the day. How can you start the second hour when the first hour isn’t even a complete hour? Jimmy gets up on the apron and the distraction lets Giant hit the chokeslam to end this.

 

Rating: C. Just a battle of the big men here so how much can you really complain? It’s not that bad but another win for Giant is never a bad thing. He needed all the ring time he could get and that’s what he did here. Shark would feud with the Dungeon briefly before just kind of leaving.

 

Post match Big Bubba comes in to cut half of Shark’s hair. This led to a bad match at the Bash.

 

Bischoff keeps talking about Hall without actually talking about him you know.

 

TV Title: Maxx vs. Lex Luger

 

Maxx used to be DDP’s bodyguard so he’s now #1 contender for the TV Title. Don’t you get the connection there? We talk about the Great American Bash where some guy named Rey Mysterio is going to debut. Maxx uses some very basic power stuff as we pad this out since there’s no point in even making fun of Maxx’s lack of a chance here. More babbling about Hall follows as he’s going to get a chance to talk at the end of the hour.

 

Maxx hammers away as Luger stumbles around a lot. Side slam gets two. Make that four which only in wrestling doesn’t get enough for three. Elbow drop gets two. Falls count anywhere between Sullivan and Benoit is mentioned. Awesome match there. Luger hits a powerslam and there’s the Rack out of almost nowhere to end this.

 

Rating: D+. Just kind of there for the most part as just like Giant did with Shark, Luger gets a workout here that doesn’t mean anything. Their title match went nowhere for the most part because the whole thing was about Bischoff getting jumped by the Outsiders. Anyway, nothing of note here but that was the point.

 

Luger says he earned the title shot even though it was taken from DDP and given to Luger. We get a clip of Giant chokeslaming Luger through the table a few weeks back. Luger wants all the big men WCW has before the title match.

 

Bobby Walker vs. Brad Armstrong

 

Just….why? Walker is a no name guy called Hard Work. See what I mean here? Bischoff still won’t say Hall’s name “due to legal reasons” and still won’t dignify him as he mentions him for the fourth time tonight. Walker takes him down with the arm and Armstrong does the same to Walker. Walker botches a few moves before hitting a cross body off the top for two.

 

We hit the mat for some more basic stuff. Headscissors goes on while they’re on the mat as this is pure filler. They didn’t have the whole two hour concept down yet I wouldn’t think. Walker gets a backslide for two. He goes up and slips again before hitting a top rope shoulder block for the pin.

 

Rating: D. So in a four minute match he noticeably botched three moves. Walker would later be part of a racial discrimination lawsuit against WCW, saying that they held him back because he was black. Based on this, I think it was more due to a high level of suck. Armstrong was always around but never really did anything. We did hear about the Cruiserweight Title being in America now, which is definitely a good thing overall.

 

Steven Regal vs. Alex Wright

 

Time to talk about Hulk! Or the Nasty Boys! Or Dennis Rodman! I never got this. It’s not like they’re talking about something major. They’re talking about random stuff that is there to avoid talking about the matches. That makes no sense but they always did it. Wright speeds things up a bit and takes him to the floor. He dives over the top to take out Regal as we take a break.

 

Back with Wright holding his arm as Regal takes over apparently. Headlock on the mat goes on which is a lot worse from Regal than most people. Belly to belly gets two for Wright. Bischoff actually calls Wright green. When do you ever hear that word being used? That’s another thing that started to be added around this time: random insider terms. European uppercut gives Wright some momentum and a rollup gets two. Pretty sweet pinfall reversal sequence ends with Wright hitting a nice dropkick to take over again. Monkey flip is countered and Regal gets a jackknife cover for the pin.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty nice match here as both guys worked rather hard to give us a nice crisp match. Unfortunately neither guy would really mean anything because they couldn’t talk that well but at the same time they were good backdrops for the amount of talking about WCW vs. NWO. Not much here but a decent little TV match.

 

Regal goes on a rant about Quasimodo and makes a semi-Hitler reference, calling Wright a mini-Adolf. Regal says WCW is nuts here and actually references Hall and says it’s time he has his say in what goes on in WCW. He challenges Sting who he would lose to at the Bash in a good match.

 

Scott Steiner vs. Sting

 

Odd main event here but whatever. They shake hands to start us off. Scott overpowers Sting to start as this is the always weird face vs. face match. Sting sends him to the floor with a dropkick and then dives over the top with a plancha. Back in and Scott gets a butterfly powerbomb for no cover. There’s the belly to belly for no cover again. Scott gets a double axe to the floor as he keeps control.

 

That gets two back in the ring as we make fun of WWF again because that’s just how we roll around here right? Sting gets a big boot up to block a charge in the corner as momentum balances out a bit. Scott hits another belly to belly for two. STF goes on. I guess that makes four moves for him right? He just lets it go and hits a cross armbreaker. Sting starts a comeback but the splash misses.

 

Scott gets a dragon suplex and here comes Luger as a second I guess. Rick comes out also and you might as well just paint a big sign that says DOUBLE DQ IS COMING in big letters on the screen. Samoan Drop from the middle rope gets no cover from Scott again. Sting avoids the Frankensteiner but can’t get the Scorpion. Scott tries a Tombstone which is reversed into one by Sting for two. Sting suplexes Scott to the floor and Luger interferes as does Rick and it’s a double DQ even though Luger hit first.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here and the ending was there to protect Scott I think. They always wanted to push him hard but they couldn’t do it for another four years. The tag match that you would expect would happen next week in a show I missed because I was in a garage hiding from a severe thunderstorm. Anyway, pretty good stuff here with a predictable ending.

 

Hall comes up to the booth and says that “we” are tired of WCW’s big mouths. He tells Billionaire Ted to get three guys for a fight because they’re coming for a war. Hall wants to do it in the ring where it matters. Good line there.

 

Overall Rating: C. Industry changing moment aside, this was a pretty weak show. The matches seemed rather inconsequential for the most part but it’s clear they’re setting up for the Bash. On the other hand you have the 800 pound gorilla in the room known as Scott Hall. The show other than him means nothing as he was just the first step in a huge story that was coming. Anyway, from a historical standpoint this is huge and that’s the only one that really matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Saturday Night’s Main Event 21
Date: May 27, 1989
Location: Veterans Memorial Auditorium, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

This is actually kind of a famous show if nothing else for one match. It’s the first big show after Mania 5 so Hogan is world champion once again, I believe for only the second time actually. He’s defending the title against Boss Man in a cage match that I’m sure a lot of you have seen. It’s famous for one big bump and not much else. This should be fun though as we’re in a transitional period around this time with Hogan being champion but Warrior on the rise. It’s a new beginning really so let’s get to it.

We open with a promo from Hogan inside a cage. Generic but fine. Pretty sure there’s only one cage wall there and he’s in front of a green screen.

Cue theme song.

Who would have believed that at the end of the day, Vince McMahon would win more WWF titles than Jesse? That’s just amusing. We run down what sounds like a decent card.

We get a clip of Mania where Rude won the IC Title from Warrior with the famous finish of Heenan holding the leg. Heenan says win at any cost. This is his first title? Really?

Intercontinental Title: Rick Rude vs. Jim Duggan

Oh and Duggan is now King. It’s by far the least remembered of the reigns with that, including King Haku. The belt looks extra shiny here. Duggan with the crown looks hilarious. It’s Memorial Day Weekend if nothing else so there’s a point to the patriotic gimmick if nothing else. He comes out to what would become Lawler’s music. I always loved the jobbers carrying the throne to the ring.

It’s like “do your job people before I squash you.” Jesse mentions that he used to be a Navy SEAL. That’s just awesome. Duggan uses the robe as a bull cape which is kind of funny I guess. Duggan takes over early as you would expect him to. Rude gets a boot up to stop though and we go into something a bit more traditional. The tights Rude wore were completely awesome. Duggan is RIDICULOUSLY over.

We get a false finish as Duggan gets the pin but Rude’s foot is on the rope. Here’s Haku who Duggan beat for the crown. Rude makes a comeback but rams Duggan’s head into the buckle which of course doesn’t work at all. Duggan gets a normal comeback for him but a hot crowd is helping a lot. The clothesline hits and Duggan wins by countout. His music changes when he wins for some reason.

Rating: C-. Not terrible for what it was. This definitely got the crowd into things to say the least. It was a TV match and that’s all it was supposed to be. On Memorial Day, this is perfectly acceptable. Not great, but it was certainly watchable.

Jim Neidhart is with Gene. He has….RANDY SAVAGE tonight? HUH? Anvil vs. Savage? Why? According to Neidhart to get to Hogan, Savage has to go through Anvil. WHAT?

Vince thinks Anvil will win. I want some of the cocaine he’s on to say that.

Savage says he’s looking to the future and wants Hogan again. Sherri is his new manager too. That went on for about two years which is far longer than I would have thought.

Jim Neidhart vs. Randy Savage

Ok seriously, who is Savage fighting tonight? This joke has gone on long enough. Who is Savage really fighting? Nothing against Anvil as he’s fine, but dude, this is RANDY SAVAGE and it’s less than 2 months since his year long title reign ended at Wrestlemania. Why is Anvil out there for this? It just doesn’t make anything resembling sense at all.

They’re making this out to be Savage vs. Bret circa 1992. When did Anvil and Hogan become buddies? Sherri grabs the leg of course and it does nothing of note. Neidhart hooks a bearhug as I’m not even sure what I’m watching. Again, it’s not bad. It’s just odd. We get a great piece of insight from Vince: Sherri is a different human being than Liz.

You mean, they don’t just put different wigs and outfits on them and hope we don’t notice? THANK YOU OWNER OF THE STUPID COMPANY! Sweet goodness she’s freaky looking. Anvil gets a BIG kick out, likely throwing Savage high enough in the air that he could have hit the top rope. That’s borderline Yokozuna levels. Anvil gets a slingshot shoulder block which would freaking HURT.

Notice the cameras always getting shots of Sherri’s back. It’s clear Vince was running the company back then given what we know now. This is more or less ALL Anvil here. Sherri unhooks Anvil when his arms are tied up and it lets Savage reset the universe to its natural order as he takes over. Wow that was a long sentence. The elbow finishes soon after.

Rating: B-. This was WAY better than it had any right to be. I don’t think anyone was idiotic enough to think that Anvil was going to win, but still it was nice to see him get in such a long stretch of offense and have time being in control. This was a decent enough match and it got Sherri over as a threat to Savage’s opponents, which was the point here. Not bad at all.

Slick and Boss Man say they’re ready for Hogan. Slick is Jesse’s height. That’s very odd indeed. Boss Man is just pure fat here. In 90-91 he would drop about 90 pounds and become freaking lethal. Slick says there’s a surprise for Hogan.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Boss Man

This is in a cage remember. Slick says that the surprise is Zeus. He stands on the steps and slams the cage door, blocking Hogan’s entrance. Dang it I was hoping I was done with this guy. Ok here’s the concept of Zeus. Hogan made a movie called No Holds Barred.

The main villain in that movie was named Tom Lister, playing the character of Zeus, a monster fighter that was a crazed wrestler. Hogan played a character that more or less was himself named Rip. At the end of the movie, Rip beats Zeus as you would expect him to. So what this would be is Zeus the character coming after the actor that played the character Rip.

In other words, a character played by an actor is coming after a character played by a character played by Terry Bollea. Now here’s the big problem: LISTER CANNOT WRESTLE. Vince of course contemplated putting him vs. Hogan in SkyDome at Mania 6 for the title. Yeah around this time WWF was in REAL financial trouble until Mania saved the freaking company. Anyway, this is Zeus’ debut.

Remember, this is a movie character going after an actor that played a character that beat his character up. Yeah it was idiotic but oddly enough few got the problem, mainly because most kids were so freaked out by Zeus, including me, that they didn’t get how stupid this was. Oh and remember Hogan hasn’t even come to the arena yet.

We get a clip of No Holds Barred, showing Zeus beating up a street fighter. That movie needs to be on DVD. It just does. Hogan comes out and can’t get in. Zeus beats Hogan down as you would expect. Remember, this would be like Christian Bale claiming to be Batman beating up Liam Neeson. Not Ra’s-as-Ghul, but Liam Neeson. Boss Man dominates early but here comes the champion as you would expect.

See here, the fans are cheering and money was coming in. BIG difference to today. He hits what would be called a spinebuster on Hogan but doesn’t have a name other than “look at that maneuver!” Boss Man gets over the top of the cage but since Boss Man can’t climb down with any kind of speed, Hogan gets there in time. We then get the mega spot of the match, which really isn’t much by today’s standards.

With Boss Man on the top of the cage and Hogan on the top rope, Hogan suplexes Boss Man to the mat. I think it’s because of the size and era that this is considered such a great bump. They’re up about 45 seconds later and everything is fine. Boss Man has handcuffs which don’t work of course. Ah never mind it’s just a chain. Both guys get rammed into the cage and they’re both down.

This time it’s just for a few seconds though. Boss Man is bleeding a bit. The usual stuff ends it as Hogan goes over the top to get to the floor. For those of you that don’t remember, Slick is more or less Pope minus wrestling. I forgot to mention that Slick runs in and there’s a mix up, causing Boss Man to get cuffed to the rope. Hogan beats Slick up afterwards.

Rating: B-. It’s a Hogan cage match. That’s all there is to it. The bump is nice, but other than that there just isn’t much here. Hogan vs. a monster was where he was at his best and this came off just fine. It’s no classic or anything, but for a TV match this was quite good.

Jesse is with the Brainbusters and Heenan who says he’s getting the tag belts tonight. The wrestlers, shockingly enough, agree. Seeing Anderson in a WWF ring is always just weird to see.

Demolition say their usual awesome stuff.

Tag Titles: Brainbusters vs. Demolition

Dang that Demolition music is awesome. The red tongues were always a nice touch too. Tully and Smash start. I wonder if Darsow as Krusher Khrushchev ever fought the Horsemen. I wouldn’t think so. Arn gets the tar beaten out of him. Jesse talks about how often Demolition tags in and out. THAT is what an analyst is supposed to do. So far this has been a total squash.

In what I think was a mistake, Tully gets knocked over the top and lands on Bobby. I think that was a mistake. Ah there we are as the Busters take over for once. Tully is a master of getting people riled up. Smash is the…..whatever the heck you call Demolition, in peril here as we hit the double knockdown.

In a very unique move, Tully sneaks to the floor and pulls Axe down so Smash can’t make the tag. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that. Smash throws the referee across the ring for the DQ. There would be a rematch on the next SNME.

Rating: C. Formula stuff and it worked just fine. The ending was weak though, although it set up a rematch so I can’t complain there. This wasn’t a classic or anything, but it came off pretty well. Me liking both teams likely has something to do with it though.

Savage says he wants Hogan.

Boris Zhukov vs. Jimmy Snuka

This is your run of the mill “we’ve got like 4 minutes left and no one major other than Hogan hasn’t been interviewed yet so here’s a worthless match for you” match to close the show. The splash ends this in MAYBE a minute.

Rating: N/A. The description of the match I wrote sums this up perfectly.

Hogan yells about Zeus and every word he says makes this whole angle seem all the more stupid. Vince is listed as the Executive Producer in the credits. How did we never catch onto that?

Overall Rating: B+. That’s higher than any of the matches, but this was a VERY good show. There’s nothing bad on here and everything came off really well. For a free TV show, this was freaking great. Three title matches, a better than it should have been Savage match and a squash with a cool finishers makes this great. Loved it.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Here’s the latest proof:– On the May 17th edition of WWE Main Event, Sin Cara made his in ring return and defeated IC Champion Wade Barrett in a non-title match. Sin Cara was then supposed to challenge for the title on the May 24th edition of WWE Main Event, but the match never happened. With WWE looking to run Barrett vs. Miz vs. Fandango, it appears that Sin Cara has simply been left out of the mix.

 

So to clarify, they have seven hours a week of television to fill but they can’t fit in a seven minute Barrett victory over Sin Cara to close this story out?  It’s THAT complicated for them to work on two things at once, one of which is a one off match?

WWF House Show
Date: September 22, 1984
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,000
Commentators: Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon

It’s another MSG house show from 1984, meaning Hulkamania is here but not to the level it would ultimately reach. The champ is in the house tonight and defending the title against one of his biggest rivals of the time: Big John Studd. Other than that there isn’t much to see here, but that’s how a lot of house shows were back in the day. Let’s get to it.

Gene and Gorilla welcome us to the show.

Salvatore Bellomo vs. Brutus Beefcake

This is Beefcake’s MSG debut and he’s actually billed from Parts Unknown. We’re also told that Jesse Ventura is in the hospital in San Diego, meaning he won’t be here to face Hogan. Big John Studd will be challenging Hogan instead. After a brief stall to get us going, Beefcake shoves him down and then into the corner for good measure. Bellomo gets nowhere on a headlock so he dropkicks Beefcake down and hooks an armdrag as well.

Beefcake walks around a bit as more stalling ensues. Back to the headlock as we hit the mat early on. Gene wants to know if Beefcake’s mother knows she has a son named Brutus Beefcake. You mean there isn’t a Mama Beefcake? Bellomo speeds things up with a leapfrog and a reverse dropkick to stagger Brutus a bit. Beefcake snaps off a headbutt to send Salvatore down and the slow offense continues. To be fair though this was far more common in 1984.

Off to a neck crank as Gorilla isn’t thrilled with the refereeing job so far. A back body drop puts Sal down again and the ropes look very loose out there. Brutus goes after the back with a slam and some headbutts to the back for two. Some knees to the jaw get two for Brutus as Gorilla is complaining about what looks like metal on Beefcake’s arms. Bellomo fights up with some solid right hands and a dropkick to send Brutus to the floor. Back in and Brutus pounds away very slowly by knocking Bellomo into the corner. A cross body is caught in mid air into a powerslam by Beefcake for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen WAY worse debuts for people but it didn’t do much for me here. Brutus didn’t look lost but he looked very limited with what he could do out there. You can only watch so many forearms to the back and knee chokes before you get bored you know? Not terrible here but cutting out three or four minutes would have helped a lot.

Chief Jay Strongbow vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Nikolai sings before the match and Jay seems ok with it. The referee tells them the rules which you never see anymore as I guess it’s a waste of time now. I would however pay a good deal of money for an official WWE rule book given how much it changes at times. Strongbow pounds away in the corner to start and we have a standoff. Off to an armbar by Jay and into a hammerlock before he fires off some basic strikes to the ample gut of Volkoff.

Nikolai shoves him into the corner and puts on a nerve hold, as apparently they need a breather after three and a half minutes of “action”. Jay tries to get on the warpath, only to be pulled right back down by the hair. The referee catches it and Gene actually applauds him for getting one right. Back to the nerve hold for a bit longer before Strongbow gets up and goes on the warpath with some knee lifts. The path continues until as Nikolai pounds on the back until it’s off to Strongbow’s sleeper. Volkoff rams him back first into the buckle to escape and drops an elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. This match wasn’t even seven minutes long and nearly two minutes of it was spent in a nerve hold. Strongbow was long past the point of being worth much here other than a nostalgia pop, which makes for some very dull matches. This wasn’t much to see and Volkoff never would get much better in the ring.

SD Jones vs. Dave Schultz

Schultz is a pretty decent heel who would have his career cut short by being an idiot and attacking a news reporter asking him if wrestling was fake. He backs away from Jones in the corner before taking it to the mat with a headlock. Jones puts on a body vice but gets punched in the face and choked for his efforts. They get back up and Schultz slaps Jones in the face like the villain he is.

Back to the mat with Jones taking over via a headscissors until Schultz makes the ropes. Now Jones slaps Schultz and pounds away, only to have Dave kick him in the face to take over. A clothesline gets two for Schultz and it’s off to a chinlock on SD. Jones fights up and gets two off a headbutt but Schultz sends him and hits…..it was some kind of a kick to the head. Either way it gets the pin in a very awkward count as the referee counted two, stopped, and then counted three. Even Schultz seems annoyed that he won that fast.

Rating: D+. Jones is another guy who wasn’t very good but was popular enough back in the day to warrant keeping a job. Schultz was fine for a quick challenger to Hogan but soon after this he would be gone due to the reasons mentioned above. The match was nothing though and the ending seemed like it wasn’t what was planned.

Greg Valentine vs. Jose Luis Rivera

Rivera jumps Valentine as he’s taking his robe off, sending Greg out to the floor. Back in and Valentine misses a charge into the corner but Jose doesn’t follow him in. Instead it’s a forearm to the face to take Jose down, allowing Greg to stomp on the leg as is his custom. A gutbuster puts Rivera down again and there’s an elbow drop to the thigh. Rivera is thrown to the floor as we’re firmly in squash territory here.

Back in and a shoulder breaker gets two for Valentine and it’s off to an armbar. Another forearm puts Rivera on the floor as Valentine is just toying with him here. Rivera comes back with some right hands, only to be knocked across the ring with a single forearm. Valentine lifts him up and drops Jose ribs first across the top rope before walking around for a bit. Rivera pounds on him in the corner but a single right hand drops him again. A suplex puts Rivera down and there are some of the heavy elbow drops from the Hammer. Figure Four goes on Rivera and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Just an extended squash here but at least it wasn’t all that long. Valentine was still a big deal at this point and he would have one last run with the Intercontinental Title soon after this. Rivera was your traditional ethnic guy who wasn’t all that great but he could fill in a spot on the card like this.

WWF World Title: Big John Studd vs. Hulk Hogan

Here’s your famous debut as Studd has a manager with him: Bobby the Brain Heenan. We get a prerecorded comment from him as he brags about leaving with the title in his first night here. It’s still Eye of the Tiger and the white trunks for Hogan which are always cool to see here. Hogan apparently cut himself on the chest during his entrance. Studd immediately heads to the apron for a meeting with Heenan as Gene warns us about what Bobby is capable of doing.

Studd takes over with a test of strength so Hulk goes with good old fashioned right hands. A running elbow in the corner has Studd on the apron and the match slows back down again. Back in and Hogan hits a big boot to the face but can’t slam Studd, which apparently would get him $10,000. Studd easily slams Hulk down and hits a middle rope forearm to the back. Off to a bearhug but Hogan holds his arm up after two drops, only to be sent into the ropes and knocked down by a big shoulder.

Studd circles the champ and hits a very slow ax handle to the back before we hit another bearhug. Hogan appears to be either dancing or shaking while in the hold but he gets his arm down inside Studd’s grip to break the hold. He can’t follow up though and Studd knocks him out to the floor. The champion is cut open and Studd pounds him from the apron, only to have Hogan come back in and pound away as is his custom. Studd is pounded down but Hogan still can’t slam him. They head to the floor and Hogan still can’t slam him, so Studd shoves him into the post and slides back in for the countout win.

Rating: D+. This was to set up a rematch and nothing more. Obviously you can’t change the title here or anything like that, but the idea of having Hogan not be able to slam him is nothing more than a way to set up a rematch a month later where he can pull the slam off. Other than that though, this was really dull stuff, but that’s par for the course for Studd most of the time.

Heenan and Studd runs off with the belt. Oh yeah it’s a rematch next month.

Ken Patera vs. Rick McGraw

Patera is a strong man with blonde hair here. We stall for over a minute while Patera takes off his warmup gear. Patera shoves him around to start but gets caught in a headlock. It’s about as exciting as it sounds so Ken takes him down with an armbar. McGraw grabs a hammerlock but again we go to the ropes. Very slow paced stuff so far. Off to a leg lock by Patera as this is somehow getting even worse. The leg is wrapped around the post and a big right hand puts McGraw on the floor. Rick pulls him down to the mat and wraps Patera’s leg around the post a few times. Back in and McGraw chokes a lot but gets clotheslined down and sent into the post. The full nelson ends McGraw pretty easily.

Rating: D-. Absolutely horrendous match here as Patera did next to nothing for the eight minutes that this went on. Yeah that whole description filled in just under eight minutes. This was horrible all around but I’d bet it was a filler after intermission for the sake of a concession stand run. Nothing to see here at all.

Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch/Lou Albano vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Wild Samoans

Before the match Albano says that this is due to him being accused of being a biased referee against the Samoans and the Sarge. Adonis and Murdoch are tag champions. Albano sneaks in a foreign object because that’s what he does. After a LONG stall we’re ready for the opening bell. We finally start with Afa vs. Murdoch and they trade full nelsons. It must drive Murdoch nuts to be in there against Afa as Murdoch was a member of the KKK.

That goes nowhere so here’s Adonis instead. Everything breaks down and Albano walks out like the coward he is, leaving this as a handicap match. Slaughter chases after him but comes back a few seconds later. The tag champions try to ram the Samoans’ heads together which has as little effect as you would expect it to have. Albano is back at ringside as we’ve barely had any wrestling in the first five minutes.

Adonis and Murdoch double team Sika until Albano comes in for some shots with that foreign object. Sika snaps up and it’s very quickly off to Murdoch again as we’re firmly in a comedy match at this point. Dick tries the elbow to the head and injures himself in the process. The tag champions are rammed together and Murdoch gets caught in the wrong corner. Albano is offered a chance to come in and says no way. He claims to have a bad back and sends Adonis in to face Sika.

Actually make that Sarge to a big pop and a knee drop to Adonis’ head. Murdoch is knocked to the floor as well but Slaughter goes after Albano, allowing the heels to take Slaughter down. Murdoch hits Slaughter with something from the announce table and Gorilla is freaking out. Back in and Adonis puts on a sleeper but the Samoans make the save. Off to more triple teaming in the corner and a back elbow to the face for two for Murdoch.

Adonis comes back in with a top rope elbow for two before Dick comes in to rip at Slaughter’s face. Slaughter finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Sika who is dropped with a double back elbow from the champions. Albano comes in for some cheap shots but once again Sika snaps up and Lou runs away. Sika gets in a headbutt on Murdoch and it’s off to Afa. Not that the tag means much though as he is caught in a front facelock by Murdoch.

Adrian slams Sika down for two and hits a missile dropkick (a high spot in this era) for two. A top rope splash misses Afa but Murdoch breaks up a tag attempt. Afa gets in a big headbutt and it’s off to Slaughter as everything breaks down. Adonis gets tied up in the ropes so Sika and Slaughter pick up Murdoch and harpoons him into Adonis’ chest. A dropkick gets one for Slaughter and there are some headbutts by Sika.

Adonis breaks up a near fall and it’s back to Afa. Adrian gets a tag but walks into a bunch of headbutts to put him right back down. Slaughter rams Murdoch’s head into Sika’s and it’s off to Albano vs. Sarge. The Cobra Clutch is quickly put on but Adonis makes the save. Lou brings in the exhausted Murdoch as Sarge and Albano leave. Everything breaks down and Sarge runs in to slam Murdoch off the top for the pin.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get into but once it got going things improved a lot. The story makes sense as the tag champions can hang with the Samoans in a two on two match but when you give them Slaughter against the worthless Albano, Murdoch and Adonis are outmatched. It’s too long at 20 minutes but it’s not as bad as I was expecting it to be.

Mike Sharpe vs. B. Brian Blair

Before the match, Sharpe complains about not being introduced as Canada’s Greatest Athlete. Blair is still just a guy in trunks at this point. Sharpe bails to the floor right after the bell and hides on the apron when Blair wants to get going. Mike finally pulls him down and rams Blair into the announce table before we get more stalling. Back in and Blair finally gets in a shot on the leg before wrapping it around the post.

Both guys miss elbow drops and Sharpe is still talking trash. Blair puts on a wristlock but Sharpe goes to the eyes to break it up. A sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Blair and it’s back to the wristlock. Make that an armbar as the workrate really goes up. Sharpe puts on a headlock on the mat before running Blair over with some shoulders. Brian comes back with some dropkicks and armdrags to send Mike out to the floor. Back to the armbar as this long match gets even longer.

Sharpe gets up and backdrops him down for two before sending Blair throat first into the top rope. A splash gets two and it’s off to an over the shoulder backbreaker. Mike throws him through the ropes but not even out to the apron. Off to a Boston Crab but Mike isn’t putting anywhere near the amount of pressure on it that he needs to have. Blair finally kicks him off but gets placed in the corner and punched in the face.

Gene and Gorilla complain about how nothing has happened yet as Blair comes back with a running forearm to the head. A missile dropkick puts Sharpe down and some right hands do the same. Sharpe is sent to the floor and we can see the timekeeper touching his nose, meaning to go home. Back in and Sharpe pounds away in the corner before shoving the referee for the DQ.

Rating: F+. This wasn’t a bad match but good freaking grief was it ever dull. It was nearly twenty minutes of two guys that no one cared about doing nothing of note at all. Even Gene and Gorilla were complaining about how dull the match was so apparently it wasn’t just me who thought this match was boring. It’s not the guys’ fault though as they just had no business wrestling a twenty minute match.

We get the card for next month’s show, which I’ll get to eventually. It’s Tito vs. Valentine for the IC Title if nothing else. Before Fink is done though, here’s Bobby Heenan with something to say. He’s never heard of a title not changing hands on a countout, so if Hogan wants a rematch there’s a contract ready right now. However, Heenan wants it to be a countout can change the title and calls Hogan out to sign it. Cue Hogan to sign it in a pencil and that’s about it.

Pat Patterson vs. Kamala

This is your main event people and I believe it’s Patterson’s last match as a regular competitor. Kamala jumps Patterson before Pat gets his jacket off and pounds on him in the corner. Pat finally gets out of it and pokes Kamala in the eyes before stupidly trying a slam. A shot to the face ticks Kamala off but Patterson bails to the floor before pain can be inflicted. Back in and Kamala wants a test of strength but Patterson stomps on his bare feet in a smart move. Kamala shoves him down and pounds away but can’t hit the splash. Scratch that as it hits Patterson on the back for the fast pin.

Rating: D. Another uninteresting match here but at least it makes Kamala look good. Patterson was WAY past his expiration date here but at least the fans still liked him. He was much better in the ring than people remember but soon after this he would move into the backstage position that he’s most famous for.

We go to the back to hear Chief Jay Strongbow say that he isn’t sure how much longer he can do this given how strong all the new guys are. He also thinks Hulk made a big mistake by signing that contract.

Overall Rating: D-. This was insanely boring with almost nothing interesting at all. The matches weren’t even bad for the most part but they were just so freaking dull that it made a two hour and twenty minute show feel about five times that long. There’s nothing worth watching on here but next month’s show should be much better given the card announced.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 27, 2013
Location: Scotiabank Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The main story tonight is what happened last week with HHH collapsing. Tonight we’re likely to get an update on his condition, meaning we’re likely to hear from Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel about what they did to him. There’s also a good chance that Cena will be back from the beating he received at Ryback’s hands. Let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional moment of remembrance due to Memorial Day which is always classy.

Recap of the end of the show from last week and Ryback’s challenge to Cena.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He talks about the ending to the last man standing match being controversial and about how Ryback called him out for an ambulance match. After stopping for a WE WANT BRET chant, Cena makes the counteroffer of a 3 Stages of Hell match, with stipulations of a lumberjack match, a tables match, and then the ambulance match. Cue Ryback who calls himself Beelzebub because of where he tried to take Cena. I’m assuming that means the match is on.

After Ryback leaves, here’s Heyman to introduce Cena to Curtis Axel. He talks about how Axel “beat” HHH last week and proposes Cena vs. Axel for later tonight. Cena says that Axel has guts but says he needs to stay away from Heyman. Axel isn’t impressed and wants a fight, so Cena says it’s on.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston

Langston pounds Del Rio into the corner but gets caught by a quick dropkick. Del Rio low bridges him to the floor and hits a suicide dive as Cole runs through the list of networks that carry the show in different countries. Big E. drops Alberto face first on the steps for two back in the ring as Cole is now plugging the WWE App and we get a quick partial interview from Ziggler on him wanting to come back.

A backbreaker puts Del Rio down but he avoids a charge into the corner, sending Langston into the post. There’s the Backstabber and a hard kick to Langston’s head for two but the armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly. Langston pulls the strap down but AJ gets on the apron and takes off a turnbuckle pad. The armbreaker goes on but Langston lifts him up into the air to counter. Del Rio gets to his feet and shoves Langston chest first into the exposed buckle, allowing him to get a rollup for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: C. These two have some chemistry together but this existed for the angle with AJ. It seems like they’re wanting to split Langston off from Ziggler and AJ which would be one of the best things they could do for him. The match here wasn’t bad and I could see these two having a much longer match in the future.

Post match Langston is upset at AJ and walks away from her.

Kane and Bryan are in the back with Bryan pacing back and forth. Bryan is muttering about the weak link until Kane yells at him, saying that only Bryan thinks he’s the weak link. If they want to beat Shield tonight, Bryan needs to pull himself together. Bryan interprets this as Kane calling him the weak link.

They get into the yes/no argument but stop because Bret Hart is here. Bret calls them one of the best combinations he’s ever seen, so Bryan asks Bret if anyone ever saw him as the weak link in the Hart Foundation. Hart says not really and leaves. Kane wants to know why that means something from Bret and not him. Bryan says because he’s Bret Hart and you’re Kane. I love how simple that is.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose

This is another rematch because of Shield interfering in the one on Smackdown. Kofi starts with a quick armbar but gets pounded in the corner by the champion. Ambrose ducks a quick Trouble in Paradise attempt and bails to the floor as we take a break after less than two minutes of action and less than three minutes after the end of the last commercial.

Back with Ambrose getting two off an elbow drop but Kofi fires off some elbows of his own to recover. A cross body out of the corner gets two but Dean rolls away from the Boom Drop. They trade near falls in a string of rollups before the SOS gets two for Kofi. Orton and Sheamus are watching the match on the WWE App as Kofi gets two off a springboard clothesline. Ambrose trips Kofi up and sends him off the apron into the steps, allowing the bulldog driver to end him clean at 8:23.

Rating: C. Not much to see here and the ending was more abrupt than I was expecting. Thankfully though that was a definitive ending and we don’t have to drag out the rematches anymore. Dean won cleanly and looks like the better man, which is exactly what Kofi was there to make happen. Not a great match, but it was the perfect way to go about things here.

Post match Shield celebrates until HELL NO come out to start the tag title match after the break.

Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

This is joined in progress after the break with Bryan being double teamed. Rollins stays in and gets caught in the ribs by a running knee before Bryan fires off kicks in the corner. Kane tags himself in and Bryan isn’t pleased. A slam gets two for Kane and there’s a Hart Attack by the challengers (not that the announcers make note of it or anything). Back to Bryan who fires in elbows to the jaw before dragging Seth into the corner for a tag to Kane.

The big man loads up a chokeslam but Rollins counters with a LOUD enziguri. Off to Reigns who pounds Kane down while showing no problems with his ankle from Smackdown. Roman hooks a chinlock on Kane to slow things down a bit before getting two off a slam. It’s back to Seth to stomp away at the ribs and put on a chinlock of his own. Oh wait: WE GET SOMETHING ELSE FROM THE APP! This time it’s the Prime Time Players watching the match. Why would I want to get that thing if that’s what I’m going to get?

Anyway Kane fights back and clotheslines Rollins down, allowing for the hot tag to Bryan. He cleans house on the Shield, hitting a wicked German and a running dropkick to Rollins for two. Here are the rapid fire kicks to the chest and one to the head for two more. Seth loads up a superplex but Bryan slips underneath him and puts Rollins in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the chest. Bryan belly to back superplexes him down as we take a break.

Back with Rollins working over Bryan and putting him in a surfboard, only for Bryan to counter. Reigns gets the tag before Bryan can do anything else though and the beating continues. Roman gets two off a shoulder and it’s back to Rollins for the downward spiral into the buckle while calling Bryan the weak link. Back to Reigns who gets caught by a running kick to the face, allowing for the hot tag to Kane.

The big man cleans house as he is known to do, getting two off the side slam to Rollins. Reigns makes the save but gets dropkicked down by Bryan. The referee tells Bryan to quit beating on Reigns on the floor but he dives off the apron into a spinebuster anyway. Rollins uses the distraction to hit the springboard knee to the head of Kane for the pin at 18:40.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty good tag match and hopefully now we don’t have to see these guys fight anymore. Not that the matches have been bad or anything, but WWE has a really bad tendency to pound matches into the ground and make the fans loathe them no matter what. Just like earlier though, Shield looks good here and they get the rub they needed.

We recap the opening segment.

We recap the end of last week’s show and get some post show stuff with HHH saying he doesn’t remember any of the matc.

Apparently the injury took place from the sledgehammer shot to the head from Brock, meaning that Axel’s offense had no extra damage. HHH could be back next week.

You can vote as to whether Miz should be guest commentator, ring announcer or referee for Wade Barrett vs. Fandango.

After the break, Miz is going to be guest referee by a huge margin. I’m as shocked as you are.

Wade Barrett vs. Fandango

Fandango hits a quick chop to take over and pounds the champion (this is non-title) into the corner. An elbow to the jaw gets two but Barrett pounds away to put Fandango down for two. Barrett hits the boot to Fandango in the ropes, only to have Miz lay out Wade with the Skull Crushing Finale. Fandango gets the pin at 2:43.

Post match Miz kicks Fandango in the head as he and Summer are dancing, knocking Summer on top of him. Miz counts three because he can.

Shawn Michaels pops in to see Cena and says Cena is crazy. Cena thinks he’s doing what Shawn would do and leaves.

Tons of Funk/Great Khali vs. 3MB

This is over a destroyed birthday cake apparently. Khali destroys McIntyre with chops to start before it’s off to Tensai for his cannonball attack in the corner. The rest of the Band interrupts to take over but it’s quickly back to Brodus. A splash in the corner and a powerslam get two on Slater as everything breaks down. The splash finishes Slater at 2:53.

Apparently it’s Natalya’s birthday so Khali sings Happy Birthday to her.

Video on Cena’s patriotic stuff to celebrate Memorial Day.

Time for the Highlight Reel with guest Paul Heyman. After sucking up to Calgary, Jericho brings out Heyman for some insults as only Jericho can do. He talks about Heyman developing talent which Heyman agrees with, such as Chris Jericho. It was Heyman who gave Jericho his first break which Jericho agrees with. “Yeah and you still owe me money.” Heyman says he’s going to do the same thing with Curtis Axel tonight as Axel beats Cena later in the show.

Jericho would rather talk about Heyman’s other client and Heyman goes into his schtick about Lesnar. Instead, Jericho wants to talk about CM Punk, who has been gone for a month and a half. We get a clip of Punk walking out back in April and the fans chant for Mr. CM. Jericho talks about Heyman having the same suit and look on his face in both the clip and right now. Apparently Heyman was surprised to see Punk leave, but Heyman says he’s wearing the suit out of respect for Jericho.

That’s not enough for Jericho but Heyman doesn’t know what Chris wants. Heyman goes into his usual schtick about Punk’s accomplishments but Jericho cuts him off and asks where Punk is. Heyman says a statement is coming soon but that’s also not good enough for Jericho. Jericho says that Punk can’t be called the best in the world after being gone this long, but wonders if Punk will be at Payback in Chicago. Chris thinks he’s the best in the world which ticks Heyman off. The challenge is issued by Jericho but Heyman laughs at him. After more goading from Jericho and the fans, Heyman accepts for Punk and that’s that.

Bella Twins vs. Kaitlyn/Natalya

We’ll say Nikki starts with Kaitlyn and a lot of choking ensues. Off to a chinlock for good measure until Kaitlyn fights up and makes the tag off to Natalya. Sharpshooter goes on for like 30 seconds but there’s no tap out. Instead Brie comes in and breaks it up, only to be speared down. Kaitlyn spears Natalya by mistake, giving Nikki the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. Whatever. That is all.

The Bellas sing Happy Birthday to Natalya.

Bret comes in to see Axel and advises him to dump Heyman. Axel says no one gave him the time of day before last week but Heyman finally did. He’s completely right but we’re supposed to be offended I guess.

Bray Wyatt video. He and his Family are coming soon. For those of you NXT fans, you know why this is awesome.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Rhodes Scholars

Orton and Rhodes start things off with Randy running him over. Off to Sheamus with the slingshot shoulder for two before Sandow and Orton come in again. Damien pounds him down in the corner and brings Rhodes back in, only to have him caught in a suplex. Back to Sheamus who is stomped down in the corner before coming back with a neckbreaker for two. Sheamus goes up but gets slammed down by Sandow as we take a break.

Back with Sandow choking on Sheamus before it’s back to Rhodes for a body scissors. Back up and there’s the Irish Curse, allowing for the tag off to Orton. Both Scholars walk into powerslams and there’s the Elevated DDT to Sandow. We head to the floor with Rhodes and Orton colliding before Sandow throws Orton in for two. Cody hits the front suplex before it’s back to Damien with the Wind-Up Elbow for two.

Back to Cody who walks into the t-bone suplex, allowing for the tag to Sheamus. House is cleaned and there are ten forearms to Damien. Cody hits the Disaster Kick on Sheamus for two, only to have Sheamus escape the Terminus and hit White Noise. Brogue Kick and we’re done at 15:40.

Rating: D+. The match was fine but DEAR GOODNESS I never want to see any combination of this match again. Sheamus and Orton have beaten the Scholars for what feels like 10000 times each and I’m just over it. It’s not entertaining, it’s not fun, it’s never in doubt and there’s no part of me that wants to watch it ever again. Find ANYBODY new for Sheamus and Orton to beat up, please.

Curtis Axel vs. John Cena

Cena hits a quick hiptoss and we’re already at a break. Back with Axel in control on the floor before heading back in for more pounding. A snap suplex gets two as the fans are looking at something in the audience. Axel wisely goes to an armbar until the fans are paying attention again. Back up and Axel clotheslines him in the back of the head for two as the fans are paying attention again. Cena fights up and hits the shoulders and ProtoBomb.

The Shuffle connects but Axel pops out of the AA and hits a dropkick for two. A middle rope ax handle connects but the second one misses, allowing Cena to hit a standing powerslam for two. Axel channels his Papa with a Hennig necksnap and a kick in the face for two. The PerfectPlex is escaped into an STF attempt but Axel escapes again. The AA is countered into a PerfectPlex for two but Axel misses a splash in the corner. Cue Ryback with the ambulance and Cena walks towards it, earning a countout at 11:54.

Rating: C-. Cena didn’t beat him, Cena didn’t hit the AA, Cena didn’t get the STF, Cena didn’t kick out of Axel’s finisher, Cena was barely on offense at all. This is how you give someone a rub, unlike last week where it was ALL about HHH. This is a great showing for Axel and something that should have happened last week.

Ryback jumps Cena from behind because he isn’t in the ambulance. He tries to ram Cena through the set like at the PPV but Cena escapes. The AA off the stage doesn’t work either and Ryback bails. Important point: Axel is announced as the winner and poses with his music playing to end the show. Cena even applauds him as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C-. The show wasn’t bad here and there were some good matches, but there was nothing that made me want to see more. That’s the problem with WWE right now: there’s nothing really interesting and everything feels like it’s warmed over stuff that we’ve done a dozen times before. It’s just like we’re killing time to get to something else but there’s no indication that there’s a plan for what that is. I do know however that I can watch people watching the same match I’m watching if I download the App so at least there’s that.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. Langston – Rollup

Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston – Bulldog Driver

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO – Springboard knee to the Head

Fandango b. Wade Barrett – Skull Crushing Finale

Tons of Funk/Great Khali b. 3MB – Splash to Slater

Bella Twins b. Kaitlyn/Natalya – Spear to Kaitlyn

Curtis Axel b. John Cena via countout

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Yeah I was right.The official WWE line is that Lesnar’s shot to the head caused the injury and Axel caused NO further damage.

That’s the official word from WWE: Axel did NOTHING.  Axel doesn’t get credit for injuring HHH, he doesn’t get the win, he gets NOTHING.