Impact Wrestling
Date: March 14, 2013
Location: Sears Center, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

We’re past the Orlando era now as Impact will be on the road permanently going forward. The main story of course is that Bully Ray is the new TNA World Champion, having beaten Jeff Hardy on Sunday at Lockdow while also revealing that he is in fact the President of Aces and 8’s, FINALLY giving the team both a leader as well as a major accomplishment. We’ll hear about that as well as see AJ Styles live on Impact for the first time in months tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Lockdown with Hogan telling Bully Ray to be remembered as he won the title. This transitions into a package of still photos from the world title match with Ray accepting the help of Aces and 8’s and winning the title.

Tag Titles: Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Never mind as Aces and 8’s beat down Chavo and Hernandez before the champions ever come to the ring.

D-Von says this is the team that is going to take over TNA and introduces the new world champion Bully Ray. Bully and D-Von do their old Dudleys pose before Bully is presented with his biker vest. Ray asks if we know who he is before saying he’s the President of Aces and 8’s, the world champion, the man who fooled Sting, Hulk and Brooke but also made fools out of all the fans. For nine months the fans bought into Ray and all the lies he told.

On Sunday he was so proud of the team and he never felt better than when he hit Jeff with the hammer to win the title. The plan was delayed a bit as Bully was supposed to leave when Wes and Garrett came into the cage, but they waited until the Hogans came down. See, an hour before the main event, Hulk gave Bully a lecture about doing something memorable. Ray says that’s something the NWO never could accomplish. Ray begs Hogan to come out and fire him but knows Hulk won’t do it. He says when you ride with Aces and 8’s, you never ride alone.

Sting is in the back freaking out about how Aces and 8’s are burning TNA at the stake. He need to talk to Hulk so he can get his hands on Aces and 8’s tonight.

Gail Kim/Tara vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

A pre-match interview with Gail talks about how Teryn Terrell is on probation for costing Gail the title on Sunday. Gail and Velvet start things off with Sky taking Gail down with a series of armdrags. Off to Mickie for a double rolling leg drag on Kim. Mickie chokes Gail in the corner and gets two off an enziguri as we take a break. Back with Mickie getting caught in the Tarantula from Tara in the ropes.

A double slingshot suplex gets two for Gail on Mickie and it’s off to the corner for some choking. Mickie comes out of said corner with a hurricanrana and there’s the hot tag to Velvet. Gail and Teryn get in an argument with Gail shoving her down. Terrell smacks her in the face, allowing Mickie to hit the Thesz Press off the top on Gail. Tara hits Mickie with the Widow’s Peak but Velvet takes out Tara with In Yo Face for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: C. This was one of the better women’s matches I’ve seen in a very long time. Mickie is so smooth in the ring and it’s very nice to see those long legs back again. The rest of the match was ok but Gail vs. Teryn does nothing for me as there’s no reason to care about Terrell other than she’s a hot blonde.

We recap the Aces and 8’s segment from earlier before going to the back to see Bully toasting Aces and 8’s. He thanks them for being behind him these past nine months but realizes he hasn’t talked to his wife in awhile. Bully calls Brooke and they leave her a voicemail to get on her nerves. Oh and say hi to dad for him.

Hulk won’t answer anything about Aces and 8’s.

Robbie E vs. Robbie Terry

This is a rematch from the PPV where E got destroyed. Terry power walks to the ring, sending E running to the floor. E tries to jump Terry but it has no effect at all. A big beal sends E flying as does a one man flapjack. Terry hits a modified Jackhammer as the fans chant feed me more ala Ryback. The fireman’s carry into a spinebuster gets the pin for Terry at 1:19.

Terry dances post match.

Sting goes in to see Hulk and we cut to a break.

Aces and 8’s continue to celebrate.

Hogan blames Sting for everything that happened with Bully. Sting wants Bully tonight but Hogan goes on a rant, saying he never should have trusted Bully. Apparently everything is over and nothing can get better again.

We recap AJ’s saga and his loss to Daniels on PPV. We also look at the Claire Lynch stuff and AJ walking out on the company.

Sting runs into Aries and Roode, now with matching shirts that identify them as dirty heels. They make fun of him for causing all of these problems and say that it’s unfortunate that they can’t fight, because they were going to give Hogan and Sting a title shot. Sting says he wants to fight and Roode bails, leaving Aries alone with the Stinger. Apparently they’re fighting later tonight.

Here’s AJ back to Impact after several months away. Or actually not as instead it’s Bad Influence in Road Warrior attire. Ok that’s pretty awesome. They don’t have the spikes but they can do the poses perfectly. Kaz says they’re bringing back Throwback Thursday and paying homage to the second best tag team in wrestling history. Daniels even does Hawk’s WEEEEEEEEEEEEEL catchphrase. Apparently this is the Legion of Boom.

This brings out James Storm who says that the original LOD is a little bigger, a little tougher and a lot more over than these two are. Bad Influence gets to pick which of them gets beaten up by Storm right now.

James Storm vs. Christopher Daniels

Storm starts fast and throws Daniels around before ramming Daniels into Kaz, getting two as a result. Kaz trips up Storm to get Daniels control which includes a slingshot moonsault. Storm comes back in a slugout though but can’t hit Eye of the Storm. Daniels puts him down with a release Rock Bottom, only to miss the BME. Storm hits Closing Time and a Backstabber for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: C. Not much you can say about a match that long. Storm in a big time program would be a good thing for him as after last year he’s desperately in need of a reset. Daniels vs. AJ must be coming again though, because this is TNA and that’s how things work around here. Not much to the match but it was fine.

Post match Bad Influence beats up Storm but here’s the returning AJ to lay out the evil tag team. Daniels bails but AJ hits Storm as well.

We recap Wes Brisco vs. Kurt Angle from Sunday before seeing Aces and 8’s destroying Angle in the back.

Here’s Joseph Park who is gushing about having two wins now. He’s been reflecting on his accomplishments, including graduating law school and making partner at Park Park and Park. Park grew up around here going to Cubs games (mixed reaction) and going to Blackhawks games (POP) and he can’t wait for what’s coming next.

This brings out Matt Morgan to make fun of Hulk because that story is still going on after not being mentioned for months I guess. Morgan doesn’t like Park having a contract here and calls Park Hogan’s biggest mistake. One by one, Morgan is going to eliminate each and every one of Hulk’s mistakes, starting with Park. He tells Park to leave but Morgan insults Chicago and that means it’s time to fight. Morgan uses the always lame “on my time” excuse and goes to leave, only to catch Park not paying attention and kicking him in the head. Morgan says his time is next week.

Aces and 8’s want to know if Hulk is going to fire them because they’ve destroyed a lot of people. Ray thinks destroying the show sounds like a good idea so let’s go do that.

We get some clips of Brooke freaking out after the end of Lockdown.

Austin Aries vs. Sting

Feeling out process to start as the fans are split on who to cheer for. Sting carries Aries over to the corner but Austin lays on the ropes to show off. Sting kicks him down but misses a Stinger Splash as Aries bails to the outside. Back in for a bit before Sting knocks him right back to the floor. There’s the Stinger Splash to Roode against the barricade and Aries is sent through the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Sting still in control but he has to stop and yell at Roode, which gets Bobby ejected. The distraction lets Aries kick the rope into the Little Stingers and there’s the suicide dive for good measure. Back in and Aries hits a middle rope dropkick to the back of a seated Sting for two. Aries pounds away in the corner but Sting gets in a few right hands. A dropkick to the knee puts Sting back down though and Aries keeps control via a quickly broken half crab.

Back up and Sting misses a dropkick but Aries tries for the Scorpion Deathlock. Unfortunately he doesn’t know hot to hook the hold and Sting is able to come back again. A big clothesline spins Aries inside out but Austin bails away from the real Scorpion. After guillotining Sting down on the top rope, a missile dropkick puts Sting down for about one second.

Sting busts out a gorilla press slam before missing another Stinger Splash. Aries hits a running dropkick in the corner and a running splash of his own. The brainbuster is countered into a Scorpion Death Drop for two but the Stinger Splash sets up the Deathlock…but here are Aces and 8’s for the DQ at 15:16.

Rating: C+. Good match here until the run in ended as this match continues to become more and more like the NWO. The match was rolling along until the end with a story of Sting not being able to hit the Splash until the end. It was cool to see the old gorilla press come back here though and the match was better than I was expecting.

Aces and 8’s want to know if Hogan is going to fire them.

After a break Ray is still wanting Hogan to come out and here he is. Hulk is still on crutches so he stays on the stage. He says firing Aces and 8’s would be too easy and they deserve the hard way. It might not be today or tomorrow, but it’s coming. Right now, Hogan is telling everyone on the roster to go to war with the bikers.

About five guys (including Angle, Terry, Hardy, Chavo and Hernandez) runs out to beat down Aces and 8’s but there are too many bikers resulting in a big beatdown of the TNA guys. Jeff Hardy is beaten down in just a few seconds and this is a pretty lame brawl. Ray says is this what you meant by memorable and starts destroying everyone with his chain. Ray goes halfway up the ramp and says the cavalry just got destroyed. He asks what his dad is going to do to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really solid show tonight as everything seemed to have a new energy to it. It was cool to see Aces and 8’s with a swagger that they could back up, which is probably because none of them wrestled tonight. Everything had a point tonight and it was like the beginning of a new year for the show in a lot of ways. I’m excited for next week’s Impact which is a rarity anymore.

Results

Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Tara

Rob Terry b. Robbie E – Spinebuster

James Storm b. Christopher Daniels – Backstabber

Sting b. Austin Aries via DQ when Aces and 8’s interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: March 13, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal

We have a #1 contender now with O’Brian winning the triple threat last week. On top of that we had a lot of storyline development as Bo Dallas seems to be going to war against the Wyatt Family. Last week was all about setting up the future shows which should make for some entertaining TV today. Let’s get to it.

Kassius Ohno vs. Derrick Bateman

Regal on Bateman: “If brains were elastic he wouldn’t have enough to make a frog’s jockstrap.” Bateman quickly takes him down with an armdrag before hooking an armbar. Apparently Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo are here tonight. Bateman chops away as Regal is very focued on Ohno here. This is Derrick’s return from a knee injury. Ohno is sent into the corner and slammed down for two. Almost all Bateman in the early going.

Kassius is sent to the apron where he hits a cravate Stunner onto the top rope. A running boot to Bateman’s jaw puts him down and Ohno drops a pair of sentons for two. Back to the cravate on Bateman but Derrick makes his comeback with some clotheslines and shots to the face. He loads up the falling bulldog but Ohno shoves him off because it’s too stupid of a move to sell. Kassius kicks him in the face for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Neither of these guys are anything of note and the fans weren’t impressed either. Bateman is back from an injury but this everyman gimmick does nothing for me. I still don’t get the appeal of Ohno, at least not in this gimmick. As best I can tell he’s supposed to be a ruthless striker but his signature move is a cravate. His character isn’t working for me and doesn’t seem to be for the crowd either.

Post match Ohno puts Bateman in an STF with a cravate headlock until Regal makes the save. These two need to fight already.

Bo Dallas says Bray Wyatt has his attention after Wyatt cost him both the tag team and NXT Titles.

Regal apologizes for what he did.

Emma vs. Summer Rae

Emma is the bad dancing klutz. A quick rollup gets two for Emma and Rae is frustrated. Wait, dance time. Rae is knocked into the corner for a cross body but she comes back with a snapmare to send Emma’s leg into the ropes. We’re told it’s Dallas vs. Wyatt later tonight as Summer stays on the leg. Summer goes VERY old school with an Indian Deathlock (the version with both girls on their backs) before choking Emma with her long legs. Back up and a dropkick puts Emma down before Rae does Paige’s scream. Emma comes back with a clothesline for two, only to be caught by a bad spinwheel kick to give Rae the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D+. Summer looks good in the outfits and has a lot of Maryse in her with the blonde bombshell look, but her stuff in the ring isn’t all that great. She’s a good enough antagonist though and beating up a goofy character like Emma here was a decent enough idea. They’re just waiting on Paige to come back for the revenge though.

Apparently that revenge is right now because here’s Paige to chase off Summer. The place went NUTS for Paige.

We recap Oliver Grey being laid out by the Wyatt Family last week.

Adrian Neville issues an open challenge to any member of the Family for next week.

Big E. Langston says that last week Conor O’Brian defeated two men to earn his title shot. However, this is Langston’s first defense, so he’s going to make sure it’s dominant, destructive and delicious.

Bray Wyatt vs. Bo Dallas

Wyatt talks about how in his world there are no distractions and no communication. The women take care of the young and the men aren’t afraid to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect what is theirs. He wants to know how far Dallas is willing to go to get what he wants. Wyatt takes him into the corner but then hides from a right hand. Bray starts to laugh at Dallas (his real life younger brother if you’re not familiar with your family trees) before hooking a headlock.

Dallas tries a headlock of his own but Wyatt hits a hard cross body for two. We take a break and come back with Dallas in a chinlock. Back up and Bo is whipped hard into the corner and a slam gets two for Bray. In a unique submission hold, Wyatt sits on Dallas’ ribs and pulls back on his head in a kind of reverse camel clutch. Dallas gets up again and tries a sunset flip but Bray drops down, only to hit the mat. The look on his face from missing is great as he looks like he was shot.

Bo starts his comeback with a forearm but gets caught in a big release Rock Bottom for two. A big splash in the corner crushes Bo and it’s time to dance with Dallas’ limp body. He dances a bit too long though and it allows Dallas to come out of it with a belly to belly suplex for the pin at 6:21 shown of 9:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much and I’m not sure on having Wyatt lose in I believe his third singles match. Dallas has flashes of good stuff but for the most part he still doesn’t do much for me. I like the belly to belly FAR better for him than the spear though, as a guy that size has no business using the same move that Goldberg or Roman Reigns uses.

Post match here’s the Wyatt Family to destroy Dallas as Wyatt laughs. Dallas makes a comeback and beats them both up, only to be caught in Bray’s Downward Spiral.

Justin Gabriel says he’s heard of Leo Kruger before. Back when Gabriel lived in South Africa he heard of Kruger being in the South African militia and apparently it messed with his head. Gabriel wants a match with Leo next week.

Here are Ricardo and Alberto to a very nice ovation. Del Rio does his old bit of “My name is Alberto Del Rio” which draws a small SI chant. He says he’s the new world champion here so this must be an old show. Del Rio talks about how there’s a lot of talent in the back and someone back there will be WWE or World Heavyweight Champion someday. Instead of a new superstar though, here’s Antonio Cesaro to challenge Del Rio to a champion vs. champion match. This brings out Dusty Rhodes who says that the Swedish guy in the ring doesn’t make matches. Cesaro can have a champion vs. champion match, but against this guy.

Big E. Langston vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here. Langston shoves him down and we’re ready to go. We take a break before there’s any contact (why not just have the bell after the break? Is it really that hard?) and come back with Langston easily breaking a wristlock. A lifting wristlock has Antonio in trouble as Big E. is easily throwing him around. Langston LAUNCHES him across the ring with a beal but Cesaro comes back with the European uppercuts and a knee lift for one.

Off to a kind of cobra clutch on Big E. but the NXT Champion easily fights up. Cesaro goes up top and dries Langston down with a knee before hitting his really impressive gutwrench suplex for two. Cesaro hooks a sleeper but Langston easily fights out of it and clotheslines Cesaro down. Five knees to Cesaro’s ribs have him in trouble and Big E. runs him over, but here’s Corey Graves for the DQ at 5:23 shown of 8:53.

Rating: C. The match was ok and at the end of the day, it’s a good move to not have Cesaro lose clean here. I get that it’s just NXT, but you don’t want to have the US Champion losing in less than ten minutes like that. Granted it never stops them on Raw but that’s besides the point. I hope we don’t get a triple threat with Langston defending against Graves and O’Brian, but it seems to be the only way to get the title off of Langston without hurting him.

Graves is run over post match but here’s O’Brian to pound on Big E. Corey helps O’Brian and Langston is laid out to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is NXT’s bread and butter: week to week booking that makes you want to come back and see where all this stuff is going. We got some matches that were set up last week as well as some stuff that was set up for next week. That’s very efficient and far better than what we get on the main shows. This show is still a treat to watch and I’m genuinely interested in where the stories are going. That’s good stuff.

Results

Kassius Ohno b. Derrick Bateman – Big Boot

Summer Rae b. Emma – Spinwheel Kick

Bo Dallas b. Bray Wyatt – Belly to belly suplex

Big E. Langston b. Antonio Cesaro via DQ when Corey Graves interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Apparently RVD’s contract is up and therefore he’s a free agent, meaning he could sign with WWE if he wants, or he could go anywhere else he would like.  This would be another high profile TNA star that has had his contract expire in recent days and the first to actually be remembered on time.

I wouldn’t mind if he left TNA.  He hasn’t had anything of note to do in months as he spent five months as X Champion and spent the entire time fighting Kenny King and Zema Ion in throwaway matches.  Why stick around when you’re just there to fill in a spot on the card?

I’m not sure I agree with #1.Disc 1

Chemistry

#25 – Triple H vs. Mick Foley

#24 – Tazz vs. Sabu

#23 – Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

#22 – Bruiser Brody vs. Abdullah the Butcher

#21 – Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

Radioactive

#20 – CM Punk vs. John Cena

#19 – Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

#18 – Randy Orton vs. Triple H

#17 – Verne Gagne vs. Nick Bockwinkel

#16 – Mankind vs. The Undertaker

Underground Laboratory

#15 – Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven

#14 – Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker

#13 – Triple H vs. The Rock

#12 – John Cena vs. Edge

#11 – Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Combustible

#10 – Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum T.A.

#9 – The Undertaker vs. Kane

#8 – Edge & Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

#7 – Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

#6 – Von Erichs vs. The Fabulous Freebirds

Quintessential Elements

#5 – Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock

#4 – Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

#3 – Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat

#2 – Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Nucleus

#1 – Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Mr. McMahon

Interaction and Reaction

Disc 2
WWE Championship Match
Hulk Hogan vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
The War to Settle the Score • February 18, 1985

“I Quit” Steel Cage Match for the NWA United States Championship
Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum T.A.
Starrcade • November 28, 1985

Bruiser Brody vs. Abdullah the Butcher
World Class Championship Wrestling • July, 1987

Badstreet Rules Match
Kevin & Kerry Von Erich vs. Terry Gordy & Buddy Roberts
World Class Championship Wrestling • February, 1988

Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase & Andre the Giant
SummerSlam • August 29, 1988

The Undertaker vs. Mankind
King of the Ring • June 23, 1996

Disc 3
Grudge Match

Tazz vs. Sabu
ECW Barely Legal • April 13, 1997

The Final Battle

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven
ECW WrestlePalooza • June 6, 1997

“Winner Take All” Handicap Ladder Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Mr. McMahon & Shane McMahon
King of the Ring • June 27, 1999

WWE Championship Match
Triple H vs. The Rock
Backlash • April 30, 2000

WWE Championship Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock
Rebellion • November 3, 2001

WWE Championship Match
Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar
SummerSlam • August 24, 2003

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena vs. Edge
Raw • October 2, 2006

Blu-ray Exclusives
Shawn Michaels’ Tribute to The Undertaker
SmackDown • March 27, 2009

Six-Man Tag Team Match for the WWE Championship
Triple H, Batista & Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
Backlash • April 26, 2009

WWE Championship Match
CM Punk vs. John Cena
Night of Champions • September 16, 2012

Victory Road 2011
Date: March 13, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well this is TNA’s offering for the month. It’s another show with the majority of it added on at the very end with no real build to it. Yes there are stories for the matches, but that doesn’t mean there’s justification for asking something like 40 dollars for a show. The main event is the rematch of Sting vs. Jeff Hardy and the third #1 contender situation for Anderson. Let’s get to this as it’s one of the least interesting shows I can remember in forever.

The opening video is the Sting mask being crawled on by a scorpion. Wow they’re banking a lot on this push.

Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer

 

Pre match Ray runs his mouth about how awesome Hogan and Bischoff are for letting him have a run. Dreamer comes out and Ray talks about how he’s run Dreamer into the ground over the years and mentions breaking his wife’s neck. This is now hardcore. They brawl to start us off and Dreamer sends him to the floor as we imply Ray going to Immortal. Well if they want to drive it off a cliff why not?

A fan holds a up a chair and Dreamer rams Bubba into it. There’s some water spit into Bubba’s head. This is opening a PPV in 2011. Dreamer grabs some big yellow stuffed animal (apparently from Despicable Me) to drill Ray with. Into the crowd now as my head is already hurting from this. Granted that might be due to Florida getting a 2 seed in the NCAA tournament but who knows.

They go into the balcony with the traditional carry the guy around style. Dreamer hits him in the head with something that looked like it was made of metal to continue his dominance so far. Back to ringside with Bubba getting in a big shot with some other unidentifiable weapon. Crowd is hating on Ray pretty well. He’s played the character well, but why in the world is it Bubba Ray Dudley getting this push?

Ray goes after Dreamer’s hand which only works to an extent. Dreamer throws some garbage cans with weapons into the ring. Good thing he had those just in case this was made hardcore I guess. They have a road block thing that has a name that I can’t think of in there. It’s the orange/white fence thing that is moved up when you drive through it. And there’s an inflatable doll in there which Bubba lands in a 69 position with.

Splash on the doll onto Bubba gets two. Ray gets a trashcan lid shot to the head of Dreamer as Dreamer goes up top. Superplex gets no cover. Bubba Bomb is blocked into a DDT for two. Dreamer brings in a table (moving it off the love doll) which is set up in the ring like a small ramp. The fans want D-Von as Ray gets a spinning Rock Bottom for two. He sets the table for Dreamer and calls out at D-Von. The kids of D-Von come out as does D-Von and Ray takes a 3D through the table to end it.

Rating: D+. There was a blowup doll in this as well as a Despicable Me doll. I get that it’s a comedy match, but dude it’s Tommy Dreamer vs. Bubba Ray Dudley opening a PPV in a semi-comedy match in the year 2011. Just get to the table match that is coming for Bubba vs. D-Von so they can move into midcard purgatory.

Winter and the Beautiful People insist they’re cool. Winter says the issues have been Velvet’s fault. This gets a WTF look from Velvet.

Knockout Tag Titles: Rosita/Sarita vs. Winter/Angelina Love

 

The Mexican chicks say basic Spanish stuff. Winter is blindfolded or something and there’s no Velvet, making me think the titles are changing here. Rosita and Angelina start us off but it’s off to Winter quickly as the champions are dominating. Bridging Northern Lights gets two. Angelina back in now as the fans chant USA for two Mexican chicks, Angelina (Canadian) and the British chick Winter.

Sarita is in now and has about as much luck as Rosita had. There’s some heel cheating and Rosita misses a front flip legdrop that was aimed at Angelina’s ankles. More fast tags by the champions as they regain control quickly. Everything breaks down slightly and Sarita grabs a belt. She drops it and Rosita gets ahold of it but Velvet runs in to steal it. Winter rolls her up but no referee. Rosita reverses it and wins the titles with a pin.

Rating: D. Well this was predictable. I don’t think this lasted very long but I don’t time PPV matches so it’s not like it matters. Granted these titles have been worthless since they debuted. Velvet has to explain herself. Wouldn’t Winter know that she was never hit by a belt and that would be enough validation? Whatever.

We’re going to have the Jarretts on vacation tonight. They’re at Universal Studios and Karen is bored out of her mind with the rollercoasters. The kids are with them and Karen hates the kid stuff.

Morgan talks about (Shawn) Hernandez and how the Mexican company dropped him. Morgan says that after this he’s going after the world title. The recap for the match is just that Hernandez came back and played the race card, setting this up. He’s in Immortal also.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

 

This is first blood. Hernandez came out to the LAX theme which is a rarity. They head to the floor almost immediately as Morgan rushes the ring. Hernandez gets a sharp wooden stick and tries to jab it into Morgan’s face ala Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard. I apologize for comparing this to a classic like that. Hernandez ribs as the face as the fans want blood. Morgan fights back by a side slam.

Hernandez hits a Pounce as we hear about how awesome he was in AAA. He was so awesome he wasn’t at their biggest show of the year last year. Hernandez hammers away until Morgan gets a discus lariat. This is rather boring if you didn’t get that. Fall away slam continues Morgan’s lack of head shots. He grabs the stick from earlier but gets kicked in the gut to drop it.

A fan runs in and Hernandez pulls out a chain. Morgan kicks it out of his hand and drills Hernandez with it. The referee is down and Hernandez is busted open. Hernandez comes out of the corner and sprays Morgan with something that looks like fake blood or something like that. The other referee comes out of the back (I guess not watching on a monitor or something) and gives it to Hernandez.

Rating: F+. Well the ending was original as I don’t think I’ve ever seen that done. However, this is more or less every other first blood match with the heel bleeding and getting the win anyway in a screwy finish. This was nothing at all of note, but granted you can say that about the first 45 minutes entirely here of Impact on Sunday.

It’s Max Buck’s birthday and he works as a team with his brother. Shenanigans are implied.

Kazarian interviews JB in a weird moment. He busts out a Charlie Sheen reference, making me want to end Kazarian.

Robbie E yells at someone that we can’t see. Cookie is panicking about Ultimate X and Robbie says he’s fine. This was idiotic if you didn’t get that.

Video on Ultimate X. It’s so awesome that it got thrown on at the last minute.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Robbie E

 

The idea here is the title is hung over the ring on cables that cross to form an X. You have to climb across to grab the title and can’t use a ladder. It’s supposed to be all about Maz remember. This is the 24^th Ultimate X match in history apparently and Kaz’s fifth. This is kind of a weird triple that with Gen Me vs. Robbie vs. Kaz. The team beats up both guys to start us off.

Kaz fights them off for a bit and manages a springboard up to the X in a cool spot. That gets him nowhere as Robbie comes in and stomps away. Max goes up but it’s Robbie stopping him. Cookie is hot but the voice is annoying. Gen Me gets everyone down and goes for the belt until Robbie stops them again. Kaz is back in now and faces off with Jersey Boy.

Robbie escapes the Fade to Black (that reverse Piledriver) and gets backdropped to the floor, hitting his ankle on the steps. Gen Me wakes up again and takes down both guys one more time. Jeremy gets a sweet assisted moonsault to take Robbie and Kaz down. Max is all alone but wants Jeremy to help him up instead. Jeremy holds off Kaz and Max makes a run at it. Kaz of course saves as Robbie has a bad ankle still.

Double dropkick puts down Kaz and a baseball slide does the same to Robbie. Jeremy does this weird reverse jump to get up and holds off Kaz. This again fails and Maz, who also was trying to get the belt, is swung backwards and gets knocked off and caught in a cutter to put him down. Robbie gets up and goes for the title, only to get pulled down by Max. And never mind as Max is sent into the structure by Kaz and gets stuck. That’s different if nothing else.

Everyone is down now and Max is unhooked for a change. Kaz hits Fade to Black on Robbie but gets kicked by Jeremy. Jeremy tries to go up only to take an enziguri from the champion to put him down. Flux Capacitor (suplex/rock bottom) off the top by Kaz puts Jeremy down again. Robbie and Kaz both go across at the same time. Gen Me kicks Robbie down and swing the champion down too in a nice bump.

Jeremy goes up and Max is ticked. Max pulls him down which is the point of the match. They both go from opposite corners and both are hung by their legs upside down in the middle. They slug it out up there until Robbie grabs a ladder to take them down. Kaz goes above the X and grabs the title at the same time as Robbie. Kaz pulls it up but there’s no bell. Oh there it is.

Rating: C+. It’s ok but this is a match that has been done so many times that there wasn’t much here. It’s definitely one of the weaker matches they’ve had with this gimmick but it’s still good. Fun match but they kept trying to play up the Bucks only for them to break up and not play a factor in the end. Fun, but definitely not great.

More honeymoon stuff and Karen wants champagne. Instead it’s a pizza. Next up: a water park.

Beer Money hits on Christy and try to get her to do the BEER MONEY thing. Basically it’s to hit on her and stare at her. Can’t say I blame them. They get serious and say they’re awesome but Ink Inc is overstepping their bounds. Something about respect is mentioned.

We recap the feud, which was Ink Inc saying they want a title shot and Beer Money saying ok.

Tag Titles: Ink Inc vs. Beer Money

 

I could see this being good. Neal vs. Storm starts us off With no one taking over we get a double tag and some technical stuff follows. The fans are split which makes sense for once as they’re both face teams. Moore gets a leg lariat for two. Neal comes in now and takes a powerslam for two. This is taking a bit to get off the ground here.

Moore back in now and we hit the chinlock. They do some basic stuff and it’s one of those moments where stuff happens but nothing is going on. It’s ok but there is no interest in this at all. It could be because there’s no history here and it’s there for the sake of having a title match. Roode gets a spinebuster on Neal for two. Ink Inc takes over again as Taz isn’t even sure who is legal.

Roode gets the formerly Northern Lariat (clothesline to the back of the head) to Neal and goes up top with Moore. Down goes Roode and a Whisper in the Wind to Storm gets no cover. Roode with a Rock Bottom for two. BEER MONEY thing kind of gets the crowd hot but Neal hits the spear on Storm. Neckbreaker gets two on Roode. Moore wants to use the chain but Neal disagrees. Beer Money comes back and the DWI ends Moore. I guess they’re splitting one of the two active teams worth anything.

Rating: C+. This was just there for the most part. It wasn’t great at all but it wasn’t bad. Like I said: just kind of there. The total lack of story hurt it a lot which is due to the booking and not the guys. This wasn’t bad but it was really not interesting at all. Granted that might be Shannon Moore.

Neal shakes their hands post match but Moore spits beer in their faces, I guess turning heel. He talks about having to be tough to win. Whatever.

Matt Hardy talks about how he’s cold blood/cold blooded and will hurt AJ.

AJ Styles vs. Matt Hardy

 

This is just Immortal vs. Fourtune. AJ uses speed to take over and grabs a front facelock. Sweet dropkick takes Matt down. Flair interferes and here comes Matt. Here come the dueling chants also. Matt has the braided hair back too. He’s in jeans and no armbands either, making him look like a bum.

Out to the floor again where AJ is sent into the post. He counters by hitting his always awesome slide under the railing and springboard forearm. Back in the ring now with AJ taking over for awhile. Matt sends him to the floor and Flair hammers away. That’s Lockdown for these two next month people. Back in Matt grabs a submission hold which is like a body vice. Picture him setting for a double arm DDT and jumping up to wrap his legs around AJ. It looked good if nothing else.

The rope is reached so it’s not like it means anything. Taz says there’s no escape to it, which is stupid as AJ just escaped. Flair grabs AJ’s balls for a bit and Matt grabs a cravate. This is boring as heck if that wasn’t clear. AJ comes back and hammers away as the crowd seems a bit restless. Enziguri puts Matt down and AJ does the same. More punching follows and a big kick to the head sets up a backbreaker for two.

AJ misses a discus lariat and the Side Effect gets two. This needs to end rather soon here. Matt gets an elbow to the back of AJ’s head and it’s Twist of whatever time. It’s blocked into a backslide for two and down goes AJ again. AJ gets back up and tries the Clash but Matt escapes that and gets two. Styles kind of botches his backflip into the reverse DDT but Flair distracts the referee.

Flair pokes AJ in the eye and takes a Pele for his efforts. Matt gets a DDT and a moonsault for two. END THIS ALREADY. Hey they listen to me as AJ takes Matt down and Spiral Tap of all things which AJ hasn’t used in years (it’s a top rope twisting moonsault/splash) gets him the pin.

 

Rating: D+. AJ was good, Matt was sluggish. What else were you expecting here? For the life of me I don’t get why people see money in Matt Hardy as he’s just big and slow at this point with the fans cheering him for some reason. AJ needs to just beat Flair and get it over with already. At least Matt didn’t win so there is that at least.

Back to the honeymoon with Karen snapping on Jeff. She wants sex apparently. Jeff thinks she means Kurt. This storyline has died so many times it’s insane. Thursday on Impact Jeff is going to call for a truce. They’re not sure where their kids are but they all get soaked. Jeff has been a total face the entire night now.

Anderson talks about getting screwed over and more or less says he’s a tweener.

We recap RVD vs. Anderson. In short, they both want the title and both say they got screwed. Somehow we’re talking about football. They’re grasping at whatever straws grasp at to come up with a backstory for this match. They talk about Lockdown in the voiceover but I stopped caring a long time ago.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

 

This is ANOTHER #1 contenders match for Anderson after he won one already. They stare it down to start and it’s dueling chant time with Anderson’s being louder. Technical stuff goes on and it’s a standoff. More technical stuff follows as I think this is supposed to be an epic match. They botch a leapfrog spot with Van Dam taking a head to the balls. This show is almost a comedy of errors at this point.

Rolling Thunder to Anderson as I just want this match to end at this point. Spinning legdrop to the railing misses Anderson and the leg hits the railing to give Anderson control. Anderson works the leg and it’s all basic stuff here. Mic Check is blocked and Rolling Thunder doesn’t work either. Van Dam gets a suplex to put both guys down.

Both guys go down again and this is just dragging like every other match so far. Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and they ram heads to go down AGAIN. Now they head to the floor off a cross body and they lay around AGAIN. Anderson gets the Mic Check on the stage and Van Dam is more of less dead.

And it’s a double count out. The fans boo the HECK out of that and I’d be with them. This somehow was 15 minutes long. Where in the world was the 15 minutes? Oh and look: MORE multi-man title matches. The fans chant to restart it and half chant no. Now it’s a 5 more minutes chant. Get on with it already.

Rating: F. This was just boring and the ending hurt it even more. They have zero chemistry together and this show has sucked so hard so far that this made it even worse. It’s obvious they’re doing a multi-man match at Lockdown but that isn’t helping anything as far as tonight goes. This is one of the worst PPVs I’ve seen in a very long time which is saying a lot when it comes to TNA.

We recap Sting winning the title on 3/3. He was a surprise, read the other reviews for the details.

Hardy says that he was treated unfairly and he’ll win tonight to bring everyone back to reality.

Sting talks about getting into the business and it’s music video time. I’ve heard this interview before. Probably was on Impact or something. Yeah I think it was. He was at home and felt a burn. Call a doctor dude.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Sting

 

It’s 10:30 and Jeff is wasting time getting to the ring. Before the match Bischoff comes out to waste MORE time. He makes it No DQ which somehow takes like two minutes. Sting drops him and the Scorpion Death Drop ends this in less than a minute. That was their first contact of the “match.” I kid you not. Are they serious?

We get a highlight video to fill in 6 minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: F-. The show has been over for 15 minutes now (final bell rang at 10:38) and I don’t know what to say. Early word is that Hardy was in no condition to perform. If that’s the case, TNA’s creative and management team all should refund the fan’s money and resign. You had 150 minutes to come up with ANYTHING else to put out there and this is what they gave us. Put Bully Freaking Ray out there and it’s a better than this.

I’m still not sure what to think about what just happened but this is awful even by TNA standards. It’s a big slap in the face to the people that bought this show and they’ve cost themselves dearly. I was going to go to Lockdown and now I have no interest in going at all. Absolutely awful ending and a disgrace all around. Jeff being high or not, you do not let this happen. Period.

As for the rest of the show, it was bad. There was nothing at all of note worth seeing and that makes the ending even worse. This show didn’t need to happen at the end of the day. It’s a speed bump on the road to Lockdown and nothing was advanced here. Now, because of this, TNA has another fire to put out. I have no idea where they go from here but it’s nowhere good.

Results

Tommy Dreamer b. Bully Ray – 3D with help from D-Von

Rosita/Sarita b. Winter/Angelina Love – Rollup to Winter

Hernandez b. Matt Morgan – Hernandez squirted blood on Morgan

Kazarian b. Max Buck, Jeremy Buck and Robbie E – Kazarian pulled down the Title

Beer Money b. Ink Inc – DWI to Moore

AJ Styles b. Matt Hardy – Spiral Tap

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam went to a double countout

Sting b. Jeff Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Living Dangerously 2000
Date: March 12, 2000
Location: O’Neil Center, Danbury, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

The main story here is that the TV Title is vacant. Why is it vacant you ask? That would be because no one holds it at the moment. Tonight is about getting it some tender loving care. We’re trying to find someone that will curl up with it and give it the affection that it deserves.  For the less creepy version, RVD broke his leg/ankle so we’re having a TV Title tournament here. Other than that, this is the scaffold show with New Jack and Grimes, so expect a decent sized rant on that. Let’s get to it.

Sinister Minister (Abyss’ former manager) talks about the seven deadly sins of ECW. There’s a great long joke in there but I’ll spare you from it. Oh I forgot there’s a new massive heel stable: the Network, which is more or less a parody of TNN whining at Heyman over what they want. One funny line here is him getting to Wrath and says been there and done that (he managed a guy named Wrath in WCW. It didn’t go well.)

We hear Joey warming up the crowd and telling them to cheer. I know everyone does it, but come on now. Gertner says a few decent jokes but here’s Cyrus. He says excuse me a lot. Someone sue Vickie for trademark infringement. Are we ever going to get like, a fight between these two? Gertner just stands there and takes it of course like an idiot. Every time they say TNN I expect them to say TNA. Actually Gertner goes after him but Cyrus winds up hitting him when he’s not looking. Joey makes the save which is just odd.

Hit the theme song.

And here’s Steve Corino dressed like a cowboy. While he’s talking the audio messes up and we hear part of a Lou E. Dangerously promo. Paul…come on. Corino runs the fans down and in particular Sandman’s wife who is in the front row. Apparently she’s more of a man chase than Missy Hyatt and for you WCW fans, you get the idea.

 

Allegedly the Raven thing wasn’t an angle according to Corino. Dang his wife isn’t that attractive. She slaps him and he throws her in the ring. That girl wasn’t afraid to mix it up. There’s a table in the corner which I’m sure someone will go through. Sandman comes in to save her. And he gets a piledriver. His wife is gored through the table.

 

Not that we see it or anything but she’s standing in front of it, the camera jumps to the crowd, and we hear it being broken and they Rhyno is on her and the table is broken. The production values here are awful. Sandman gets his wife out of the ring and is likely going with her to the hospital.

 

This of course means he’s out of his tournament match, which is another bait and switch by Heyman but whatever. Corino now calls out Dusty Rhodes of all people. Oh that’s right they’re feuding. Also pay no attention to Dusty being everything ECW was supposed to be against.

Steve Corino vs. Dusty Rhodes

Should be noted the bell hasn’t rung yet and we’re 20 minutes into the PPV. This is a bullrope match too and it’s the pinning version thank goodness. There’s the bell at 20:40 of the PPV. Apparently Corino and Jack Victory beat up this referee at a house show. Dusty hits Corino with the cowbell. Know what I think we need now? NEEDS MORE COWBELL! Sorry I had to do that at least once.

 

And we’re already in the crowd. Steve is bleeding. I know he’s old school, but dang he could give Flair a run for his money in bleeding. Victory helps and it’s all about the cowbell. Is this a Christopher Walken special or something? This has been more in the crowd than in the ring of course. Dusty is bleeding now. Corino bites the cut over Dusty’s eye which I think is bleeding barbecue sauce instead of blood. And now it’s all about the blood.

 

Also, WHO CAME UP WITH THE STUPID COWBELL IDEA? I know it’s Dusty’s signature thing, but man I can’t stand this thing. Dusty is dominating by the way. Yeah the old guy that is in his mid fifties and hasn’t been a regular competitor in about ten years is beating a guy that is being groomed to be the top heel in the company.

 

Sure why not. Both guys have bells now. The referee helps Dusty tape a cowbell to the top of Corino’s head. And there’s a chair to the bell to the head. A Bionic Elbow ends it. Yes, the fat man goes over. I hate this company.

Rating: D. This was just stupid. Seriously, why is Dusty going over here? I know Corino isn’t as great as he’s made out to be, but there is ZERO justification here other than Dusty’s ego or position in the past or whatever. Why in the world would he need this win for a run in the company of all of four months? Just a bad match too with far too much cowbell (screw you Walken).

Sandman won’t be in the tournament tonight. Shocking.

Guido says he’ll win the title tonight.

Dangerous Alliance vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The Alliance is CW Anderson and Bill Willes. Yeah I don’t know the second guy either. The announcer looks like a mean gerbil apparently. Lou E. Dangerously can do a great Heyman impression but that’s about it. He says…nothing yet since the people are all booing him. Apparently the PPV is named after him. Can we get on with this? The fans won’t shut up to let him do his thing.

 

He does it and I don’t care at all. The Dangerous Alliance thing was at least a good idea. Elektra was hot if nothing else and Roadkill was always a funny gimmick for some reason. The Alliance is supposed to be a throwback to the original Dangerous Alliance back in 91-92 which had perhaps more pure talent than any other stable ever, and that’s including the Horsemen at their best. This Billy guy is worthless. He’s supposed to be the Bobby Eaton guy of this team? That’s very funny.

 

Also the non Alliance team has become face since the last show somehow. Anderson works on Doring’s arm so at least he’s got that part of the gimmick down. Anderson is an interesting guy and not bad in the ring. This Billy guy simply isn’t. Doring hits the Stroke but it’s called the G-Spot Sweet here. Oh dear. It all breaks down of course and the heels are in trouble.

 

Willes takes a Lancaster Lariat of Lust. I can’t make these names up. Roadkill goes up for his top rope splash but Elektra turns heel and crotches him, allowing Anderson to hit the spinebuster for the pin as Elektra joins them.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure why but I liked this. They kept this WAY reeled in and it worked quite well. It’s a basic story and it came off well. Maybe it’s just a basic wrestling match happening and my mind being blown by that. Maybe Elektra’s hips did that. I’m not sure, but this was fine.

The Impact Players promise to get their tag belts back. Dang Dawn was hot.

Simon Diamond vs. Kid Kash

Seriously, a gimmick based on Kid Rock? Could we not get Billy Joel or Englebert Humperdink? And here’s Mike Awesome. No one gets why, but here he is. Oh and he and Raven are the tag champions now to go with the world title. He actually says get out of the ring or die. Diamond and company bail, leaving us with this.

Kid Kash vs. Mike Awesome

Sure why not. Kash kicks out of the splash early. It’s all Mike here as you wouldn’t expect. Shouldn’t Kash get in at least an early flurry? Ah there we go. Kash could do high spots if nothing else. For some reason I liked him when I was 12. It was a very strange time.

 

Kash hits a modified Pedigree on Awesome’s manager but gets knocked the heck out by Awesome. Kash hits a rana which of course DOES NOTHING because that move is worthless and gets knocked out again. And there’s your table. Powerbomb through it in 3, 2, 1…yeah there it is. Awesome wins of course.

Rating: D. Well Awesome lives up to his name and Kash gets destroyed. Was there a reason to not have the original match or am I just missing something? Apparently this was a world title match too. Pay no attention to the fact that we’re not told this until the very end and by that I mean when they say he’s still champion but whatever.

Post match Jazz comes out to help Kash but Jado and Gedo, two guys from Japan come out with Diamond to beat up Jazz. Here’s Nova and Chetti for the save and of course it’s an impromptu match!

Jado/Gedo vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

I’ve heard incredibly mixed reviews on Jado and Gedo but I think I’ve seen one match of theirs and it was a 6 man. We hear about how great Gedo is and he’s got a decent resume actually with wins over Jericho, Benoit and Malenko. Joey: Nova and Chetti have been together as a team now for a year minus the six months Chetti was out with a back injury.

 

I think that’s grounds for just saying they’ve been together for awhile. They tag with other people though but it’s all good. The Japanese guys like to mock opponents apparently. Joey can you freaking say who is who? I think Gedo is in the ring but I’m not sure. This show has been such a train wreck I’m not sure. Ah never mind that’s Jado. Gedo has a shirt on. Got it.

 

Nova gets a NICE superkick to the throat of Jado. That looked great and sounded great too. Chetti tries one and does quite well too. His only missed by six inches or so. Cyrus doesn’t know the referee’s name which means nothing at all but I need to fill in some space here. The Tidal Wave hits Gedo to end it. It’s a combination splash and leg drop but both guys jump from the same rope. It looked pretty cool.

Rating: D+. This was just a mess. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was just a total mess. I know I said that already but it’s the only way to put it. Why are the Japanese guys here? Why did Nova and Chetti pick this time to run down? How was a contract agreed to and sanctioned so fast? Yes I know I’m nitpicking but dang man. That’s two in a row with nothing but random match to explain it. That’s not good.

Dangerously talks about doing well tonight. Elektra is REALLY, REALLY bad at talking. Good grief SHUT UP ALREADY!

TV Title Tournament Semi–Finals: Little Guido vs. Super Crazy

Hey look: another cruiserweight match but this time there’s something close to meaning! The winner fights Rhyno for the title in the main event. The Network doesn’t like Crazy apparently. Crazy hits a great moonsault to the floor. Again this match is just all over the place and going so fast you can’t tell if anything is working or not.

 

We’re told that Heenan put vodka in his water cup. That explains a lot. Guido hooks a Fujiwara Armbar on Crazy on the floor to take over. See what I mean? That was decent, but it came and went so fast that it’s hard to tell if it was good or not. And there’s a chair. Wow we went awhile without many weapons tonight. Crazy gets the ten punches in Spanish and then does it again to Big Sal.

 

You have to give the ECW fans this: they were well rehearsed. During this fight for a belt we get a fight over a belt. See how low I have to sink for jokes here? Guido misses an elbow and goes through a table. A brainbuster and a moonsault gives us our finals.

Rating: C. So? That’s all I can say here. So freaking what? This match or a combination of these two and Tajiri has been on every show for like 8 months now. SO? I mean seriously, why in the world should I care? They had a decent match and then they’ll likely have more later. It’s entertaining and to be fair one is getting a midcard title shot, but I flat out do not see a reason to care one bit here.

Buy this video game! You can wrestle as Joey Styles! Yeah the game completely sucked as it was just War Zone but with ECW characters and blood.

W*ING Kanemura vs. Balls Mahoney

Kinemura is from FMW and is something close to a hardcore legend. THIS gets a big match intro? Joey insists that this will be a hardcore match. Thanks Joey as I never would have guessed that. Kanemura hits a nice senton from the top. Oh and his first name is Kintaro here. He’s more known as W*ING though (and yes that’s the real spelling) so I’ll go with that. Not like it matters though as it’s a 2 minute match with a sitout powerslam ending it with Balls getting the win.

Rating: N/A. Just nothing here but a transitional thing to this.

The Baldies run in and beat up Balls but here’s New Jack and THAT FREAKING SONG. This is a very infamous moment so I’m not going to call this an actual match or anything. Expect a long rant later on. New Jack beats them up with stuff including a Playstation and I don’t care at all.

 

We fight over a pizza cutter for a bit and this is just wasting my time. Come on I have the Smackdown Pilot waiting on me but I have to do this first. And let’s go into the crowd because that hasn’t been done at all tonight. And now we get to the famous part of this, as we fight to a scaffolding.

There are two tables set on top of each other and they climb up the scaffolding. It should definitely be noted that it’s just that: a scaffold. In scaffold matches there was usually at least something solid to stand on. This is a beam that is only a few inches wide. They’re both clearly scared to death and I can’t blame them.

 

This is one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen. And there it is. New Jack I guess tries a suplex off the scaffold. It doesn’t work. At all. New Jack completely misses the tables and lands feet first. Grimes on the other hand lands on his head, and I mean both versions of his. Grimes lands head first and his body lands on New Jack’s head. Both guys are of course completely unconscious and we go to a wide shot while medics come in.

 

Remember that Grimes weighs about 400lbs. Sure let’s show replays and keep the freaking song going while the fans cheer. New Jack had brain damage and was at least temporarily blinded by this. It resulted in him attempting to severely injure or even kill Grimes (his words) at another show after ECW closed. This brings the show to a complete halt and lets the fans cheer incessantly.

So again we have violence for the sake of violence and stunts for the sake of stunts. And look what happened: two guys were almost killed because of it. But hey, the people are cheering right? Hey, people are going to buy more New Jack stuff now because he’s hardcore right?

 

This is another example of having no regard or respect for the lives of workers. Having them stand on a two inch bar 20 feet in the air is just flat out irresponsible, negligent and arguably criminal. Why in the world did we need to do this? Ah yes: we needed to top what we did last month.

 

Seriously, why do we have to do this? Instead of a regular wrestling match, we had to see a crutch to the balls and a vacuum shot to the back before we dive twenty feet and nearly kill two men. Not only that, but in a promotion called XPW, they had another match and New Jack tried to kill him for revenge.

 

And these incidents happened on a professional wrestling show. What do these things have to do with professional wrestling? I’ve yet to see any connection between being slammed into the concrete from a scaffold and a wrestling match. This was just flat out not needed and the fact that they didn’t die, which isn’t an exaggeration as allegedly a six inch difference would have killed New Jack, is a perk is just not acceptable.

After Joey and Cyrus stall for time, it’s time for the three way dance.

Tag Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Masato Tanaka vs. Impact Players vs. Mike Awesome/Raven

So the Impact Players were the champions and Tanaka/Dreamer beat them and held the belts for a week. Then Awesome and Raven took the belts and are defending here. They won them 8 days ago so the Impact Players lost the titles just over two weeks ago. Raven and Awesome hit the ring at a sprint and we’re already going. Awesome takes out Justin and Jason in a nice looking dive.

 

Dreamer gets a nice pop and here are the other former champions who were just thrown together but that makes them a great team of course. We get a Rocky Horror reference and Cyrus points out that the Players are the only real team here. Raven and Dreamer fight in the ring which just feels right.

 

Awesome goes through a table as it’s just a massive mess rather than anything close to a coherent match. The Roaring Elbow puts Awesome and Raven out in like 4 minutes. Ok then. So get the nameplates ready for the Impact Players again. Oh come on like they’re going to lose to Dreamer and Tanaka. Dreamer is bleeding. Justin botches a spinning DDT to the complete lack of shock from me.

 

Hey look: TAGGING IN A TAG TEAM MATCH! Dreamer hits some stuff to make the hot tag and Jason comes in to make it 3-2 which is just fine. Tanaka beats them both up just because he can and we’re doing nothing but near falls already. A kendo stick to the head of Dreamer puts him down and at least we get Diamond Dust so I can be somewhat happy.

 

A belt shot and spike piledriver to Dreamer give the Players the belts back. Cyrus runs down to celebrate. The belts would be vacated in about a month when Justin won the world title and wouldn’t be replaced for about four months, so you won’t see a PPV tag title match for a good while.

Rating: D. Again just a total mess here that nothing came from. Also this lasted 9 more minutes. Everything has flown by here and there has been no substance to anything whatsoever. Also, why drop the belts if you’re just going to get them back in two weeks anyway? Ah right: it’s ECW. I just don’t care again here.

ECW TV Title Tournament Finals: Rhyno vs. Super Crazy

Cyrus just stayed in the ring and introduced this so there was almost no transition at all. Now common sense booking would say Sandman interferes here and costs Rhyno the belt. The fans get this too so they cheer for Sandman the majority of the match, completely taking the focus off of the guys in the match.

 

Before the match though Paul comes out and cusses out Cyrus, dropping about 5 F Bombs in just over a minute. And here’s Gertner to yell at Cyrus as well. He doesn’t do anything of course, but here’s Super Crazy. I’ll give them points for elevating a midcard guy, but no one cares as neither guy has beaten RVD so there’s no point to this really. The company is completely dead at this point but they kept going for about another 10 months or so.

 

And Crazy dominates the monster with flips and stuff as the fans chant for Sandman. It’s table time already and Crazy goes through it. Rhyno hits a nice powerbomb for two. The Triple Moonsault hits and down goes the referee. Tajiri comes down and mists Crazy then kicks him. Oh look: ANOTHER table.

 

Rhyno mocks RVD, which of course brings him out to make whoever wins this look even less important. Scotty freaking Riggs comes in to help and RVD puts Rhyno through a table. Great way to make him look important. Crazy hits a moonsault to win the title.

 

He would hold it for a month then Tajiri would hold it for two weeks and then Rhyno would hold it for a full year save for a two week reign by Kid Kash in August. Rhyno beats everyone up afterwards and here’s Sandman who breaks the stick over his head. Metallica plays and the faces celebrate to end the show after two hours and twenty minutes. WOW.

Rating: D. I never would have dreamed it possible but this was somehow worse than the previous stuff. It had at least four different people running in and four tables used. What’s the point of having a champion again? This was just bad and RVD beating up Rhyno on one good leg is just idiotic. The Sandman chants didn’t help either. Horrible finish to a horrible PPV.

Overall Rating: F+. Where do I start? For one thing, the longest match of the night is the Bull Rope match at ten minutes and thirteen seconds. After that it’s the tag title match which is in essence a 2/3 falls match at 9 minutes and three seconds. Other than that I don’t think anything broke 8 minutes in length.

 

SERIOUSLY? You end a PPV at 10:20 which includes a long opening segment and a highlight package at the end and you have DUSTY FREAKING RHODES win the longest match of the night? Like I said throughout this review, it felt like they were in a rush all night. What could they possibly have been rushing to? They could have had another thirty minutes on this show but instead almost everything stays under 9 minutes?

 

Are you telling me you couldn’t add five more minutes to the tag titles? Or to Guido vs. Crazy? Or geez had ANOTHER MATCH? Dang even add five minutes to the Mahoney/Kanemura match and it would have helped. I get that the botch (which I’ll spare you more complaining about) in the New Jack thing made them run short, but you can’t thrown two guys out there for a squash or something?

 

Even with the intros and such it would have filled in some time. Or even have some promos and it gets better. Just give us SOMETHING dude. Was there a reason for the Sandman/Rhyno match not happening? Don’t tell me an injury, because it’s not like Sandman matches require a ton of actual wrestling or anything. Just a horrible PPV and the worse ECW show in a LONG time.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 11, 2013
Location: Bankers Fieldhouse Arena, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re four weeks out from Wrestlemania and the top of the card is set. The major news coming out of last week is that CM Punk gets the chance to stop Undertaker’s Streak this year after winning a fatal fourway to end last week’s episode. Other than that we’re likely to hear more about Rock vs. Cena II tonight which should be fun after last week’s solid promos. Let’s get to it.

We open with a tribute video to Paul Bearer. This is the same one that aired on WWE’s Youtube channel last week.

Appropriately enough, here’s Undertaker to open the show. He kneels down in the middle of the ring in front of an urn and looks up at the In Memory graphic but is interrupted by CM Punk. Punk talks about wanting to extend his heartfelt condolences for Undertaker’s loss. That would be Undertaker’s loss at Wrestlemania of course. The silver lining for Undertaker is that Paul Bearer won’t be alive to see Undertaker go 20-1. Punk says that in four weeks, we’ll get a tribute video to Undertaker’s streak.

During the break Kane came out and tried to chokeslam Punk off the stage but he escaped. Kane went looking through the back for Punk but couldn’t find him. Instead he threw someone I couldn’t make out across the locker room. It might have been Alex Riley.

Big Show vs. Seth Rollins

This is a result of Shield beating up Big Show after Raw went off the air last week. Rollins runs at Big Show to start but is easily shoves away. Rollins is sent to the floor with Big Show in pursuit. The other members of the Shield jump him for the DQ at 41 seconds.

Show tries to fight them off but the spear takes him down. There’s the TripleBomb to leave Show laying.

Punk yells at Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox about what happened with Kane, so Vickie makes it Kane vs. Punk in a No DQ match.

We get a classic Bearer moment with him making his debut on the Brother Love Show.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a result of Bryan making fun of AJ after she had water thrown on her last week. Bryan starts fast with a surfboard submission, only to have Ziggler escape and dropkick him down for two. Bryan comes back with an elbow in the corner and a stomp to the arm before backdropping Ziggler out to the floor. Bryan loads up the suicide dive but Langston gets on his apron to stop him in his tracks as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler holding Bryan in a chinlock but Bryan catapults him into the corner to escape. A running knee to Ziggler’s chest puts him down but Bryan runs into a boot in the corner. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Bryan but Ziggler pops out at the last second. Bryan fires off the hard kicks to the chest and a big one to the head gets two. Ziggler goes up top but gets crotched down hard. Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but Ziggler turns over in mid air, turning it into a cross body for a VERY close two.

Bryan tries a standing huricanrana but gets dropped onto the top rope. The Fameasser gets two for Dolph and he pounds away on the chest. AJ gets on the apron to distract the referee as Bryan hooks the No Lock, only to have Langston pull him to the ropes. Another attempt at the No Lock is countered and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin at 11:30.

Rating: B. Good back and forth match here but it still doesn’t help Ziggler’s major problems right now, mainly being the lack of a match at Wrestlemania. Maybe he and Langston will go after the tag titles or something, but right now there’s nothing for him to do, which says a lot after how big a deal he was a few months ago.

Post match Langston hits the Big Ending (falling slam) on Bryan at AJ’s request.

We recap HHH’s challenge to Lesnar from last week.

Tensai vs. Fandango

Tensai tells him to get out here, but Fandango doesn’t like how they say his name. He wants Naomi to say his name because she’s the only one with any skill. Fandango says she’s better than this but Tensai cuts her off, meaning no match.

Trailer for G.I. Joe 2.

Another Paul Bearer moment is him returning with Undertaker at Wrestlemania 20.

Rhodes Scholars vs. New Age Outlaws

Before the match, Sandow and Rhodes do the intelligent version of the Outlaws’ entrance which is very amusing. Apparently they’ve reunited for good now, which makes me wonder why they split in the first place. Road Dogg: “Lord have mercy, this one is for you Percy (Bearer’s real first name). Roadie and Cody start things off and there are the shaky jabs to put Cody down. Before this goes anywhere though, here’s Brock Lesnar, sending fear running through Cody. Lesnar attacks Gunn for the DQ at 1:25.

Both Outlaws get F5’s and are laid in front of Lesnar. Heyman is here with Lesnar and talks about how Lesnar isn’t here to play games. He talks about Lesnar hurting both Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon. Heyman says the last traces of DX were just destroyed right in front of you and that Lesnar will indeed fight HHH at Wrestlemania. However, there’s a but to that yes. Lesnar wants to name the stipulations before he’ll agree, but HHH has to sign the contract before he knows the rules. Heyman eggs HHH on by listing off people that HHH will disappoint by saying no. Heyman’s two words for us: BROCK LESNAR.

Kofi Kingston vs. Mark Henry

Kofi tries to fire off some kicks to start but is easily knocked out to the floor with a single kick from Henry. Out on the floor and Henry misses a charge into the steps, allowing Kofi to dive off the steps and stagger Henry. Back inside Kofi tries his top rope cross body, only to be caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 2:26.

In the back, Cody makes mustache jokes to Kaitlyn when Sandow shows up. He says he has a surprise for Cody and here are the returning Bella Twins. Kaitlyn walks off in disgust. Vickie comes up and gives the Scholars a match with Randy Orton and Sheamus.

Ryback vs. Heath Slater

Mark Henry comes out to watch and there isn’t much else to say. Slater tries to jump him but gets pounded down, allowing for the Meat Hook and the Shell Shock to end this at 1:05.

Post match McIntyre gets Shell Shocked and here’s Henry to the ring. McIntyre gets a World’s Strongest Slam and a second Shell Shock. Now he gets another World’s Strongest Slam as the monsters stare at each other.

Trailer for The Call.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here as usual. Before the match Del Rio says he was born in Mexico but made in America. Alberto hits a quick cross body for two but Cesaro comes back with a forearm to the head. He pounds down Del Rio before hooking a fast chinlock. The world champion comes back with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The low superkick and Backstabber get two each and Del Rio goes up top. He jumps into the European uppercut for two though and follows it up with an attempted German suplex. Del Rio easily counters into the cross armbreaker for the submission at 4:40.

Rating: C. This was fine, and although I could go without the US Champion tapping out in five minutes, at least it was to Alberto who is on a roll at this point. Del Rio is on a higher level than Cesaro so a loss by Antonio isn’t the worst thing in the world. Cesaro got in one good move the entire match though and that’s not a good omen for him.

Kane is holding the urn and has nothing to say.

We get a video recapping Cena vs. Rock over the last two years.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus

Damien and Randy start things off with Orton in full control. It’s off to Sheamus to face Cody and the Scholars manage to send Sheamus to the floor to take over. Back do Damien for some knee drops for two as Sheamus is in trouble. He fights up with relative ease though once Cody comes back in. The not hot tag brings in Orton for an attempt at the Elevated DDT but Damien makes the save.

Orton is sent into the post and we head back inside so Sandow can hit the Wind-Up Elbow for two. Back to Rhodes who goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed down. There’s the tag to Sheamus who cleans house, including hitting Sandow with the ten forearms on the apron. White Noise takes down Sandow again and it’s the Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:03.

Rating: D+. That’s probably really harsh but this show is hitting the exact same problem that every single episode does: it’s feeling long. We’ve done so much tonight and now the show is reaching levels of burnout. This is the same problem the show always reaches because three hours a week is just too much.

During the break, Shield attacked Orton and Sheamus.

We get some Touts from fans about Paul Bearer.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel with guests the Miz and Wade Barrett, both of whom have movies out at the moment. Miz is out first and talks about the success of his movie but here’s Barrett to talk about how great Dead Man Down is. Barrett talks about turning down a lot of movie roles because he’s busy being IC Champion. Jericho gets in his face and says he’s been Intercontinental Champion nine times and if Barrett keeps up, he might make it ten. Cue Brad Maddox who stumbles through the worst promo in the history of ever while announcing Jericho vs. Miz with the winner getting a title shot at Wade next week.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz

This is joined in progress and the winner gets a title match at Barrett next week. Barrett is on commentary for the match. Jericho has Miz in a chinlock with an armtrap but Miz fights out with some left hands. Jericho bulldogs him down very quickly but the Lionsault hits knees. The Walls of Jericho can’t go on either so Miz takes out the knee. He can’t hook the Figure Four so Jericho fights for the Walls again. This time he manages to hook them but Miz crawls over to the ropes before falling to the floor. Jericho sends Miz flying into Barrett so the champion jumps Jericho for the DQ at 4:09.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to get anywhere and the ending was pretty clear for most of the match. The triple threat next week probably won’t be anything interesting but if it sets up an IC Title match for Wrestlemania I can’t say I’m complaining. It’s not like Barrett ever defends the thing.

Post match Barrett takes both finishers.

We get Ricardo and Alberto’s parody of Colter and Swagger’s videos.

We get a video from a Wrestlemania XI vignette which parodies NYPD Blue and has Bearer in drag, saying he has nothing to do with Yokozuna disappearing. A gong sounds, the lights go out, the lights come back on, Bearer is in a male suit. 1995 was weird.

Jack Swagger vs. Sin Cara

Before the match, Colter talks about how the fans are programmed to cheer for Sin Cara because of his entrance and the jumps he performs. Colter says Sin Cara is nothing but a sign of things that need to change. As the match starts we’re told that it’s a triple threat for the Intercontinental Title next week with Miz and Jericho challenging Barrett. Cara sends him to the floor to start and hits a big dive but might have hurt his shoulder. Apparently it wasn’t that bad as he charges back into the ring and fires off some kicks to Swagger, only to springboard into a kick to the ribs. The Patriot Lock ends this at 1:52.

Now we get an interview with Halle Berry about The Call. During the interview David Otunga calls her and tells her he may have given her phone number to someone who threatened him with violence. She hangs up and Kane calls her, asking why she doesn’t return his fan mail. Apparently Kane sent her a picture but she wasn’t impressed. She raises up her arms and makes fire come out of the ring posts behind Kane.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry on Smackdown.

CM Punk vs. Kane

No DQ here. Punk dives through the ropes to attack Kane to start but Kane comes back with an uppercut. He drops Punk throat first onto the barricade and loads up the announce table, only to have Punk hit Kane in the ribs with the ring bell. Back inside Punk shoves Kane off the top and hits the Macho Elbow for two before nailing the knee in the corner. Kane throws him over the top and we take a break at 11:05pm.

Back with Kane charging into a boot in the corner followed by Punk hitting a middle rope clothesline for two. Punk wedges a chair into the corner but Kane reverses a whip to send Punk into said chair. Kane goes to the floor and throws about four chairs into the ring before turning his attention back to Punk who is cowering in the corner. Back inside and Punk counters a chokeslam into a DDT onto a chair for two. The high kick blocks a chair shot but the Undertaker’s gong goes off, allowing Kane to chokeslam Punk for the pin at 12:00.

Rating: C. Not bad here but at the end of the day this match was WAY too late in the show to hold up. The ending was the right idea with Undertaker costing Punk a match to set up the Wrestlemania match a little bit more. That’s good, basic storytelling and the match is going to be awesome.

Undertaker and Kane do their kneeling salute to Bearer, but Punk hits Kane in the back with the urn over and over before leaving with it.

Overall Rating: B. This show did a lot for Wrestlemania, but at the same time the problem was how packed it was. There was no room to breathe on this show and it felt really long at about the two hour mark. I did like the stories being told and all the angle advancement we got, plus the Bearer stuff was very nice. Good but LONG show tonight.

Results

Big Show b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Shield interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag

New Age Outlaws b. Rhodes Scholars via DQ when Brock Lesnar interfered

Mark Henry b. Kofi Kingston – World’s Strongest Slam

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Antonio Cesaro – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars – Brogue Kick to Sandow

The Miz vs. Chris Jericho went to a no contest when Wade Barrett interfered

Jack Swagger b. Sin Cara – Patriot Lock

Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira

This is one of those ideas that they tried once and only once before never thinking about doing it again. After the success of Wrestlemania, the idea was that Wrestlemania 2 had to be bigger, so Vince came up with the idea of splitting it into three cities. This show is widely considered to be one of if not the worst Wrestlemania of all time and with main events such as Piper vs. Mr. T. in a boxing match and Hogan vs. Bundy in a cage it’s not hard to see why. Let’s get to it.

This is on a Monday for some reason.

This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.

Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.

Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.

Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.

Roddy Piper and his trainer for the fight Lou Duva (famous boxing trainer) say Piper is ready. Piper promises to quit wrestling and boxing if he gets knocked out. He’ll also quick playing tiddlywinks and dating girls, but he’ll stick with Bob Orton of course. Those two spent WAY too much time together.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

This is fallout from the main event of Mania last year as Orndorff turned face due to Piper and Orton leaving him behind. Muraco is an associate of Piper so this is kind of a proxy feud for Paul. Muraco has Fuji with him too. Both guys say they’ll win in a voiceover as the match starts. Paul slams Muraco down to start and the crowd is already hot. Orndorff makes a slant eyes face at Fuji which today would get him thrown out of the company. In 1986, he was making $20,000 a week later in the year. It’s funny how times change.

Paul takes him down to the mat with an armbar as Susan St. James clearly has no idea what’s going on. She’s trying but this isn’t something she knows about at all it would seem. Paul cranks on a wristlock before going back down to the armbar. Susan: “He looks like he’s using some ancient Chinese techniques”. Uh…yeah. Muraco finally escapes and sends Paul into the corner, only to have Orndorff go off on him as they brawl to the floor. In something you won’t ever hear again I don’t think, the opening match of Wrestlemania goes to a double countout. The fans chant some expletives.

Rating: D. What do you want here? The match is four minutes long and ends in a double countout. It was hot while it lasted, but the problem is that it didn’t last long enough at all. This was a pretty big feud and it gets a four minute match? That’s all they can spare these guys? Orndorff would have a MEGA heel turn later in the summer which would eventually draw 74,000 people to an outdoor show in Toronto. That’s some drawing power.

Mr. T. says he doesn’t like to do a lot of talking before a fight before proceeding to talk more in 30 seconds than Goldberg said in his entire career. To show you the production values, he’s drowned out by Fink announcing the results of the previous match.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

This was a pretty big feud that also wound up meaning a lot more the next year than it does here. The basic idea is that George is in love with Liz and doesn’t like how Savage treats her. There’s a great angle right there that hasn’t been used in a LONG time (Punk/AJ/Bryan isn’t the same thing). Savage in an inset interview babbles as only Savage can without saying anything of note.

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

A top rope cross body gets two for the champ (Savage in case you’re really young) and Steele throws him to the floor. Randy slips under the ring and sneaks up on George, only to get bitten on the arm. Savage goes to the floor and finds….a bouquet of flowers? George shoves them into Randy’s face before going to eat a turnbuckle (don’t ask).

The stuffing goes into Savage’s face but Steele AGAIN gets distracted by Liz, allowing Savage to hit the ax handle to the back. Back in and Savage hits the slam and elbow for two. Wait what? This is 1986 and the SAVAGE ELBOW only gets two? Steele grabs Savage by the face and sends him into the corner, only to get tripped up and pinned with the feet on the ropes to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where your individual taste is going to vary a lot. On one hand, it’s a comedy match but not an incredibly funny one, while on the other hand it’s terrible from a wrestling perspective. On the other hand, you have three hands and should see a surgeon immediately. The point is this wasn’t much of a match and never would have made it onto a modern Mania card. Of course it wouldn’t; the Intercontinental Title doesn’t exist around Wrestlemania time. Also, of all the people in the WWF, GEORGE STEELE gets to kick out of the elbow? REALLY? This was fun for the goofiness if nothing else.

Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.

Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.

Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Wells is a former football player who never did another thing of note in wrestling other than be in this match. Jake is brand new at this point and is promptly run over and backdropped down in the first ten seconds. A flying shoulder takes Jake down and there’s a headbutt for good measure. Wells hits a decent flying headscissors followed by a slam for no cover. A knee lift has Jake draped in the ropes and a powerslam gets two. Roberts comes back with a poke to the eyes and a knee lift followed by the DDT for the fast pin. This was pretty much domination until the last ten seconds.

Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Piper vs. T which is allegedly based on a boxing match that happened in Phoenix, as apparently we’re ignoring ALL of the stuff from last year that set up the first Wrestlemania.

Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.

We introduce the “celebrities.” First up is Joan Rivers as guest ring announcer, Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway and G. Gordon Liddy as guest judges and Herb from Burger King commercials (you won’t remember him) is guest timekeeper.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

This is a boxing match with ten three minute rounds. T has Joe Frazier as his trainer and the Haiti Kid to counter Orton. Piper is the aggressor to start as Vince calls T’s defensive stance a peek-a-boo style. Roddy grabs on the ropes and T fires away some body shots. These rounds might only be two minutes rounds. Piper takes him into the corner but T bobs and weaves before popping Roddy in the face a few times. It turns into another brawl on the ropes for the last thirty seconds or so of the round.

Everyone comes in to break up the brawl and we take a break between rounds. T gets in a few shots to the face to open round 2 but Piper apparently has a bunch of goo on his face. There’s an Orton/Piper joke in there somewhere. After the face gets cleaned off Piper starts pounding away and T is in trouble. I’ll change the numbers again because the rounds are indeed three minutes long. Piper gets him into the corner and pounds away, dropping him with a pair of shots to the head after about seven shots that missed BADLY. That gets an eight count and round 2 ends with T going down just after the bell.

Piper gets in a few cheap shots after the bell because that’s the kind of guy he is. We start round 3 with T firing away but they’re clearly getting tired. Piper goes down in his corner but pulls himself up before the count. T pounds him right back down in the corner and this time gets a seven count. This turns into move of a shoving match until T gets in a right hand to knock Piper out of the ring and out to the floor. Round 3 ends with nothing of note going on.

T talks trash in between rounds so Piper throws his stool across the ring as round 4 begins. They slug it out with T finally taking over. Piper DRILLS him with a right hand that knocks T’s mouthpiece out. T comes back with the same kind of a punch….and then Piper shoves the referee down and slams T for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was one of those things that everyone knew was going to be a disaster and the best chance they had was to make it goofy. Thankfully we’re talking about Roddy Piper in the 80s so you know he can bring the goofy. There were some decent punches in here but like all other wrestling boxing matches, you knew it would end with some sort of a DQ. This was pretty much it for Mr. T in the WWF other than a few cameos later on.

Off to Chicago!

Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending of course and hits about five hair mares in a row to start things off. Velvet comes back with some one footed dropkicks before going up and missing a splash for Moolah to get the pin. This barely lasted 90 seconds which may have been due to McIntyre’s outfit breaking when she came off the ropes.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

This is a flag match which means a regular match where the winner gets to wave their flag. For some reason the ring is VERY loud all of a sudden. Kirchner is a guy you likely won’t have heard of but he’s famous for being VERY stiff which is why he wasn’t around long. Blassie is with Nikolai here and his man hits a spinning kick to start.

We head to the floor where Volkoff rams him into the post and cuts the Corporal open with a piece of razor that he immediately puts back down into his trunks. Blassie yells at Kirchner a bit before they head back inside. It’s a slugout but Blassie throws in his cane which goes upside Nikolai’s head for the pin. This was another very short match.

Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.

Battle Royal

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

Perry is the hometown boy but once they said Andre’s name there was little doubt as to who was winning. Ernie Ladd jumps in on commentary as a former wrestler and football player. Andre chills in the corner and beats up anyone that comes near him. Perry gets ganged up on a few times in the corner but fights them off as Covert and Tonga go out. Francis goes after Andre like a crazy man and Holmes is gone.

The two giants go at it for a bit and Brunzell is gone. There’s never much to talk about in battle royals as most of it is just a bunch of brawls and the occasional elimination like Atlas going out here. Studd beats up Perry in the corner as Martin and Morales put each other out. Arcidi loads up Blair but Bruno makes the save for some reason. Not that it matters though as Arcidi is put out just a few seconds later. Spivey is gone as are Blair and Hillbilly. We’re down to about eight or so.

Fralic is dumped out by a bunch of people and Bruno backdrops Sheik out. Studd dumps Bruno and we’re down to Andre, Studd, Francis, Perry and the Harts. Perry shrugs off both Harts and sends them to the apron for the biggest pop of the night. He starts firing off tackles at Studd before running into an elbow for the elimination. Perry offers a handshake but pulls Studd out to the floor to another big pop. The Harts get Andre tied in the ropes and easily dump Francis. They pound away on Andre a bit but the big man is like dude please. He grabs Neidhart by the beard and kicks him out before tossing Bret on Anvil to win.

Rating: D. This was another pretty lame match with the football players not being able to do much due to not being wrestlers. Perry was incredibly popular and got a great reaction from the crowd, but other than him the NFL guys didn’t add anything at all here. Andre winning was the only logical choice and there’s not much else to say here.

Vince and Susan talk to Piper in New York and of course he says he’s awesome and didn’t lose at all.

Back in Chicago Jimbo Covert says he got cheated by Fralic. Iron Sheik says he’s proven wrestlers are better than football players.

We look at the end of the battle royal again.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine and they’re defending. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Bulldogs have Ozzy freaking Osbourne in their corner. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey pounding away in the corner. Off to a wristlock before Dynamite comes in to send Valentine into the buckle for two. There’s the snap suplex for no cover and it’s back to Davey for the delayed vertical.

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Davey misses a charges into the post though and his shoulder is hurt in a hurry. Brutus comes in to work over the arm and hits a kind of hammerlock slam. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but pulls up before covering. In a VERY sudden ending, Dynamite gets on the top rope while still illegal and Davey rams Valentine’s head into that of Dynamite for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a great or even a very good match but after nearly two hours of lame wrestling with nothing matches, this was a great breath of fresh air. The Bulldogs would be champions for the better part of a year while the Dream Team would survive for another year before splitting at the next Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though.

Both sets of announcers talk about the title change. I’ll give the female celebrities this: they sound like they’re enjoying themselves and they’re trying at least.

Off to Los Angeles.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Lee Marshall of non-fame in WCW is the announcer. This was supposed to be Steamboat vs. Hart but WWF saw more star power in Hernandez. This wasn’t their best time from a thinking standpoint. Hercules pounds on him to start but Steamboat goes to the arm as is his custom. A kick to the ribs puts Hernandez down and it’s off to an armbar. Back up and Steamboat does some leapfrogs before elbowing Herc down.

We head to the armbar again until Hernandez rams him into the buckle and hits a clothesline to take Steamboat down. A hot shot has Steamboat in trouble again but he comes back with a failed slam attempt that gives Hercules two. A pair of elbows get two more due to a very lazy cover. Hercules hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two and there’s a gorilla press slam to go with it. Make it a pair of gorilla presses but Hernandez’s splash hits knees, allowing Ricky to hit the top rope cross body for the pin.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here with power vs. speed, although most of the speed guy’s offense involved an armbar. That’s something you have to get used to in Steamboat matches though so it’s not a disappointment or anything. The match itself was pretty dull stuff but Steamboat in the 80s is never a bad thing.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

We hit the stereotypes now the gay character vs. the hillbilly character. Elmer, weighing roughly 450lbs, runs off Adonis and Jimmy Hart before the match and we get a good shot of Adrian’s pink dress. We finally get inside and Elmer starts pounding away before sending Adonis into the corner for a Flair Flip. Adrian gets sent into the corner two more times in a row with the second time landing him on the floor. Back in and there goes the dress as Adrian gets tied up in the ropes. A single punch to the chest puts Elmer down but he comes back with a corner splash, only to miss the big leg drop. A top rope headbutt gives Adrian a pin.

Rating: D-. What are you expecting here? We’ve got REALLY basic gimmicks (although Adonis wasn’t bad in his day) in a three minute match involving a man wearing a dress. This is what you call filler, albeit terrible filler. Elmer wouldn’t ever really do much in the WWF but he was a pretty big deal in the indies.

Adonis puts a flower on Elmer’s back post match.

We get Hogan’s second promo of the show with him saying he’s ready for Bundy and he begs Heenan to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

It’s Terry and Hoss here, with the latter being more famous as Dory Jr. Hoss and Dog start things off with JYD sending one Funk into another and slamming them both down before the Funks head to the floor for a breather. Off to Tito vs. Terry for a bit now and it’s a short bit as Terry gets clotheslined to the floor. Hoss takes a dropkick to send him out to be with his brother and the heels huddle on the floor again. Oh and they have Jimmy Hart too.

Back to the Dog vs.. Terry and they slug it out with Dog taking over. JYD rams Terry into the buckle so many times that the pad starts to come off. Terry gets thrown to the unpadded floor yet again and it’s back to Hoss. Tito comes in as well and Hoss fires off the famous Funk forearms. Speaking of forearms, the flying variety takes Hoss down and the Funks head to the floor again.

Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.

Santana finally slides between Terry’s legs and makes the hot tag to JYD. We prove we’re in the 80s with a double noggin knocker to both of the Funks and a punch sends Hoss to the outside. Terry has a rope from somewhere as everything breaks down. JYD throws Terry to the floor and slams him on a table for good measure. Terry’s knee is hurt and he can’t stand up but he gets back inside anyway as Jimmy gets decked. Everything breaks down again and Tito puts Hoss in the Figure Four but Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve said before that the 1980s were the best era ever for tag wrestling and this show proves it again. Most of the show hasn’t been all that great but the tag matches have been by far the best matches on the card. This was a fun and WILD match but not to the point where you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. Good stuff here and after two boring matches in the LA section this was a good match to pick things up.

We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.

Hogan is lifting weights with bad ribs and we recap Hogan vs. Bundy. On SNME, Hogan defended the title against Don Muraco and after the match, Bundy ran in and destroyed Hogan with a bunch of splashes to injure the ribs. The doctor says Hogan shouldn’t be doing this, so Hulk does chinups with a 100lb weight around his neck.

Heenan and Bundy say they’re going to take the title from Hogan.

Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Both guys block shots into the cage but King goes to the ribs to stop Hogan cold. There’s a slam to mess with the ribs even more and Bundy goes for the door. You know it’s not ending that fast though so Bundy comes back to choke with the tape a bit. Another attempt to escape goes about as well and Hulk comes back with an elbow in the corner. Bundy gets rammed into the cage to bust him open and Hogan rakes his back a bit. More cage ramming occurs and Hulk climbs to the top to choke away on the ropes.

Hogan goes for the slam but Bundy falls down onto him as you would expect him to. Bundy goes to the door but Hulk grabs him for some choking with the rib tape. The Avalanche splash hits in the corner and a regular one hits as well so Hogan can shake like a fish. Hogan dives to stop Bundy from getting out but takes another Avalanche….with no effect whatsoever. The champion busts out a powerslam of all things and easily climbs out to retain.

Rating: D. It’s Hogan vs. a monster in 1986 so what in the world were you expecting to see here? At the end of the day this was the safe move but with all of the other heels on the roster, this is the best they could come up with? I mean, you have Savage, Piper or even Roberts to be in there, but you pick Bundy? It’s not like this was some huge feud as the SNME that set this up was five weeks before this show. I’ve heard that Vince was trying desperately to get Nikita Koloff to jump and be in the main event but when they fell through, they picked a monster instead. Eh when all else fails, go with the safe pick.

Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is a tough one to grade for the same reason that I don’t consider it the worst Mania ever: it was the second one and they had NO idea what they were doing here. The main thing that helps this show is that while most of the matches are worthless, they’re FAST. Of all the non-tag matches, only the cage match and the boxing match break ten minutes and the cage match does so by about 15 seconds. It’s certainly not a good show and if this happened today Vince would be jumping off a building, but for its time this wasn’t completely terrible.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

Redo: D+

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Original: F

Redo: D

Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B-

Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Original: N/A

Redo: D-

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This was a big story last night and deserves a bit more attention.First and foremost, I did like the end result of last night’s show.  Having Ray be revealed as the President of Aces and 8’s was the right move and was one of the few places they could go to extend the life of the whole stupid angle.  Ray screwing over the Hogans for the sake of winning the world title with it being a plan all along was perfectly logical as it’s Ray’s nature to be a self serving jerk.  The lines of “I used you and I screwed you” and “D-Von let her cry” were straight MONEY.  Also, IT ISN’T BISCHOFF.

However this doesn’t solve everything.  At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s have still been the most inept stable of the last like…..ever.  They never win anything of note and they lost again last night in their other big match.  Also, Ray is now basically the leader of the Eight Stooges.  They’re still a bunch of losers and you can’t use the logic of “now that they have a leader” because Ray has clearly been the leader for months.  Oh and one more thing: why did Ray give Hardy a chain?  I know he had everything in hand, but it was still an unneeded risk.

As for where this is going now, it appears that we’re headed for either Hogan or Sting vs. Ray at Slammiversary before we get to presumably AJ or Storm taking the title at Bound For Glory.  If we have to get one of those matches, Sting is BY FAR the better option, as he can at least, you know, move.  There are some other downsides to this development also.

Above all else, it means Brooke talking.  The story continues to be mainly about them rather than ANYONE else and Brooke just isn’t interesting at all.  She’s annoying, she’s whiny, she’s not talented, and she’s on TV more than any other female in the company.  Also I don’t really want to spend the next few months hearing about how Aces and 8’s are taking over and all that jazz.  The last thing we need is another corporate takeover angle.  Having them be the dominant faction is fine, but we don’t need another takeover.  It’s been done WAY too many times.

 

Overall, it’s good but it doesn’t solve all of Aces and 8’s problems, nor does it make up for the months and months of terrible stuff.

Lockdown 2013
Date: March 10, 2013
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the second of four pay per views of the year for TNA and arguably their second biggest show of the year period. The main events tonight are Jeff Hardy defending the world title against Bully Ray inside a cage along with Lethal Lockdown pitting Team TNA against Aces and 8’s. The main question is will we find out who is really behind the bikers tonight as we’ve been waiting for nine months now. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the history between Hardy and Ray and how many matches they’ve had against each other, with none being bigger than tonight. We also hear about Angle vs. Brisco and D’Lo Brown being revealed as the VP of Aces and 8’s.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Christian York vs. Zema Ion

King is defending. York knocks the champion down to start before clotheslining Ion down as well. King goes to the floor to let the other guys fight, only to have York dive out onto him, ramming King into the barricade. Ion loads up a dive of his own but runs into a boot from York. King tries to use Ion’s body as a springboard but slips off and rams his head into the guardrail in a SCARY looking landing. Ion dives on both York and King anyway before heading back inside with York.

Thankfully King is still alive and comes back in to break up a York cover before pounding away on Christian in the corner. Ion is down on the floor as York chops away at King, only to be poked in the eye. Zema comes back in with a quick rana off the top rope for two on York. A moonsault gets the same result and Ion is frustrated.

York hits a quick legdrop on King for two but Ion baseball slides King to the floor. A slingshot into a DDT gets two on York for Ion as King gets back in. Ion is sent out to the entrance ramp where King drops a leg to keep him down. York pulls Ion back inside for two and all three men are back inside. King loads up a top rope fallaway slam on Ion, only to have York add a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom. Christian gets control by hammering away on all three guys, including a suplex on King for no cover.

The Mood Swing neckbreaker gets two on Ion for York and a Capo Kick sends King into the corner. In an interesting combo, York DDTs King as Ion neckbreakers York, with Zema getting two on both guys. York hits a top rope double stomp to Ion’s back and a corner roll at King. Kenny comes back with a kick to Ion’s head but York rolls through the Royal Flush for two. Not that it matters as another attempt at the Flush ends York to retain the title at 11:10.

Rating: C. This was good, but at the same time it came off much more like a collection of spots rather than a coherent match. I’m not wild on matches like that, especially when there are that many botches. The one with King at the beginning was scary with him slipping down and nearly breaking his neck in the process. That’s scary stuff.

Joseph Park talks about being ribbed by the fans when Bad Influence comes in, saying Dixie Carter wants to talk to him in catering. Park leaves so Daniels and Kaz say they’re here to win the titles, insisting that they’re not jokes.

Joseph Park vs. Joey Ryan

Before the match, Ryan makes fat jokes about Park and calls him a mark. Ryan says he himself has the size advantage where it matters though. Park says San Antonio rocks and talks about singing karaoke on the River Walk (San Antonio tourist attraction). Ryan runs at him to start but gets caught in an armdrag followed by some chops in the corner. Joey comes back with a middle rope cross body but literally bounces off Park’s chest.

Ryan finally takes Park down and pounds away as the fans are all behind Park here. The match slows down a lot as Ryan slowly pounds away until he hits a missile dropkick for no cover. Park comes back by ripping Joey’s chest hair out and pulling Ryan’s trunks up very hard. A corner splash sets up a middle rope splash but Joey rolls away. Joey tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Park sits on his chest for the pin at 6:05.

Rating: D. This was your standard comedy match minus the comedy. Ryan hasn’t been on TV for months now and it’s pretty easy to see why here. There’s nothing to him at all and he’s very boring in the ring. His character is fine on paper but there’s nothing in the ring to back it up.

We see Jeff Hardy arriving earlier.

Bully and Brooke are in the back and Bully is nervous about the main event. Hulk comes in and Brooke leaves. Hogan says tonight the company could launch to the next level and while Jeff has been good for the time being, Ray could be the launch point to the next level. As for Brooke, Hulk is so glad Bully has made her happy again and he can’t thank Bully enough. Hulk says he wants Ray to win tonight and Ray says he will. Ray promises people will make them remember him tonight.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is defending. Feeling out process to start until the champion hooks a flying headscissors to put Gail down. A neckbreaker gets two for Velvet and she sends Gail to the floor. Back inside Kim gets a quick rollup for two and there’s a running shoulder to the champion’s ribs. Gail gets her in a fireman’s carry and slams her down for two before arguing with referee Terryn Terell. An attempt at a headscissors out of the corner is easily countered by Velvet into a mat slam for no cover.

Some clotheslines and elbows put Kim down again as does a bulldog. A reverse DDT gets two for Velvet and Gail is staggered. As she gets up she grabs Terell, allowing Gail to hit Eat Defeat for two. Gail shoves Terryn in the corner before slapping her, begging to be disqualified. Instead Terryn spears Gail down and beats her up, allowing Velvet to hit In Yo Face for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: D. I do not like women’s wrestling. Terrell looks GREAT in the little black shorts and that’s all I’ve got here. Oh and Gail Kim is perhaps the least interesting human being on the face of this planet. Therefore, let’s make sure to push her to the freaking moon and back for years on end.

Robbie E complains about Robbie T holding him down for two years. Tonight, Robbie is going to make his former bro his ho.

We recap Robbie E vs. Robbie T, which comes down to Robbie T getting tired of Robbie E abusing him, making tonight about revenge.

Robbie E vs. Robbie T

Robbie E wants a timeout to start and there’s a hug attempt. Robbie T doesn’t seem interested and shoves E down with ease. E does some stretches in the corner before trying a headlock. That goes very badly for E and a one handed top wristlock puts E down. A single leg takedown doesn’t work at all so T launches him up into the air. T grabs him by the throat but E slaps his way out of it. E grabs a fast armbar before hooking a sleeper. T finally breaks the hold and catches E’s cross body with ease. A fireman’s carry into a spinebuster ends E at 5:50.

Rating: D+. This was what it was supposed to be but it doesn’t make for a good match. T has never been great but instead of being a comedy guy, he should be allowed to be a monster as he always should have been. Also thankfully this time there’s no Orlando Jordan for a stupid feud to derail any momentum he gets going.

Aries says he’s ready to go tonight without Bobby Roode…but here’s Bobby Roode so they’ll be ok tonight.

Tag Titles: Bad Influence vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Roode and Aries are defending. It’s Chavo vs. Daniels to start things off with Daniels running him over early on. A backdrop puts Daniels down and everything breaks down, resulting in Hernandez and Chavo clearing the ring. Hernandez is in legally now against Daniels and there’s an overhead belly to belly to put Daniels down. Off to Chavo for a seated dropkick to Daniels before Kaz comes in to get beaten down as well.

Back to Hernandez who gets two off a splash on Kaz. A Daniels distraction allows Kazarian to hit a missile dropkick to take Hernandez down and Bad Influences double teams the big man (Hernandez) for a bit. Aries breaks up a pin attempt before Hernandez counters a double suplex into one of his own, putting down both members of Bad Influence. Off to Chavo again for Three Amigos on all four opponents in a cool visual.

Things settle down again with Daniels pounding away on Chavo. Kazarian comes in to take over but Roode tags himself in, bringing in the champions for the first time. Roode and Aries double team Chavo down with a double suplex, drawing in Bad Influence for the save. Roode fires away some shoulders into the ribs of Chavo before Aries hits a dropkick to the back for two.

Roode launches Chavo into the corner via a catapult but Chavo punches Aries in the air in a nice counter. A double clothesline puts Roode and Chavo down, but Chavo can’t make the hot tag to SuperMex. Chavo and Hernandez are sent to the floor, causing a fourway brawl between the other guys in the match. We wind up with Aries and Kaz who both try cross bodies to put them both down. Chavo hits a top rope cross body on both guys, followed by a double clothesline from Hernandez. Aries is LAUNCHED into the air and down to the mat with a thud before another double clothesline takes down Aries and Kaz.

Hernandez hits a double backbreaker on Aries and Kaz, getting a double countout on Austin. A big shoulder block puts Aries down but Daniels hits an STO on Hernandez to take him down. Roode hits the release Rock Bottom on Daniels but Kaz takes him down with a slingshot DDT. Fade to Black is escaped though and there’s the spinebuster from Roode to Kaz.

Daniels and Roode slug it out but Hernandez takes both guys down with a dive from the ramp to the ring. Daniels is caught in an Alpha Bomb from Hernandez but Kaz breaks up Chavo’s frog splash. Aries shoves Kaz off the top and ranas himself and SuperMex to the floor. Daniels tries a superplex on Chavo but gets shoved down, allowing for a top rope splash, but Roode tagged himself in and steals the pin to retain at 17:22.

Rating: B. As usual these matches have no build to them but they wind up being the most entertaining matches on the card. TNA has gotten really good at this formula and Bad Influence is especially awesome at them. The match was the usual entertaining stuff here but I’d like a story and some fresh blood soon.

We look at the Knockouts Title match again with Terrell getting involved.

Terrell is in the back and says she made a judgment call when Gail jumps her and a brawl breaks out.

The cage is being set up.

Slammiversary is in Boston.

D’Lo Brown says Doc is starting Lethal Lockdown.

Angle says he’s beating up Brisco tonight.

We recap Angle vs. Brisco. Wes Brisco was mentored by Angle but now wants to prove that the Brisco Family is better than Kurt Angle. Brisco is also in Aces and 8’s.

Kurt Angle vs. Wes Brisco

You can win by pin, submission or escape. Kurt suplexes him down to start before Wes comes back with shoulders in the corner. Wes tries to escape but gets suplexed out of the corner with ease. Angle pounds away but misses a charge in the corner, ramming his head into the cage. Wes pounds away and puts on a chinlock before Angle fires off some elbows to the ribs to escape. That gets him nowhere though as Wes flapjacks him down for two.

Brisco charges into a boot in the corner and there’s a missile dropkick from Angle for two. Angle starts firing off clotheslines and suplexes before slamming Wes into the cage. Now it’s time for Rolling Germans with Angle not letting go no matter what. Angle goes up but a top rope splash misses, allowing Wes to take over with right hands.

The Angle Slam out of nowhere puts Wes down but Brisco starts crawling for the door. Angle pulls him back in with the ankle lock but Wes rolls him through into the cage. Brisco tries to climb out but Angle catches him on the top. They slug it out on the top rope with Angle slamming Wes’ head into the cage over and over again. Angle busts out a German off the top rope to put both guys down again.

Wes escapes the Angle Slam and Kurt accidentally clotheslines the referee. There’s the ankle lock with a grapevine to make Wes tap but there’s no referee. Angle hits another Angle Slam and flips Brisco off before escaping the cage. There’s still no referee though but D’Lo Brown runs out and rams Kurt into the cage and throws him back in. Wes escapes the cage and wins at 11:58.

Rating: C+. In less than twelve minutes, Brisco showed me more than Garrett Bischoff has in the last year and a half. The match itself was good because that’s what Angle does, but the ending was pretty easy to guess, especially given the stuff that happened on Thursday. Again though, it’s still D’Lo Brown which brings things down for me.

We recap the entire history of Aces and 8’s which is a very long story to say the least. Basically they’re at war against Sting and Hogan for no apparent reason and after nine months, we’re going into Lethal Lockdown with TNA vs. Aces and 8’s.

Lethal Lockdown

TNA: Sting, Magnus, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, James Storm

Aces and 8’s: Mr. Anderson, D-Von, Doc, Mike Knux, Garrett Bischoff

This has some interesting rules. Two men (Anderson and Magnus) start things off and fight for three minutes. After those three minutes, Aces and 8’s (they won a series of matches on Thursday) get a man advantage for two minutes. Then TNA sends in its second man to even it up for two minutes. Aces and 8’s then get another advantage for two more minutes. They alternate until everyone is in and then it’s one fall to a finish.

Magnus pounds Anderson down in the corner to start before hitting a clothesline. Anderson sends him into the cage though to take over as we have less than a minute before someone else comes in. Off to a chinlock by Anderson to kill the time until Knux makes it 2-1. Also remember that the match can’t end until all ten men are in the match. A sidewalk slam and legdrop floor Magnus as this is one sided so far.

Samoa Joe is in to tie things up and TNA takes over for a bit. The former tag champions continue to work well together by taking the bikers apart. Anderson and Knux are beaten down until Garrett Bischoff comes in to make it 3-2. The fans tell Garrett that he can’t wrestle as Magnus and Joe beat him up as well. Anderson and Knux finally get up and save their partner as Eric Young is in to make it 3-3. Oh wait he has to strip first.

As is the case with every other period, the team with the latest man in takes over. D-Von is in to make it 4-3 Aces and 8’s and the numbers game takes over for the bikers again. Joe fights back with some palm shots to Anderson in the corner but D-Von knocks him down again to take over. The fans want Sting but they get James Storm instead. Storm cleans house with Closing Times and Last Calls but they don’t mean much at this point.

House continues to be cleaned until Doc is in to round out Aces and 8’s. Doc takes over for Team TNA with his power stuff and the match slows down a lot. Here’s Sting with two garbage cans full of weapons to finalize things, meaning it’s now one fall to a finish. Team TNA takes over with a bunch of weapon shots as I guess there’s no roof this year for a change. It’s all Team TNA at this point as the match slows down a bit. Garrett Bischoff gets worn out by Joe via a trashcan.

Sting holds Anderson for Young but Young almost hits Sting by mistake. The break lets the bikers take over with Doc chokeslamming Young. Magnus and Storm come back to take over, sending Garrett running to the top of the cage. They chase after him, resulting in I think Doc and Knux making the save. Joe powerbombs ALL FIVE GUYS down in a big Tower of Doom before putting Anderson in an STF but Doc makes the save. TNA takes over again with Sting hitting the Death Drop on Knox, but he doesn’t cover. Instead he sends Young to the top of the cage for an elbow drop for the pin at 26:27.

Rating: B. The problem of the ring being too small to hold ten guys still exists, but as someone with a bad fear of heights I’m very glad to see them not have the roof on the cage. It’s a risk they just don’t need to take and the Tower of Doom spot was more than able to make up for it. Very solid match here but Aces and 8’s continue to fall further into the abyss.

The announcers bicker a bit.

Jeff Hardy is a 51-49% favorite to win the main event via a fan poll.

We recap the main event, which is based on the history these two have and Ray wanting to finally win the big one on his own.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

In the cage of course with Hardy defending. Tenay says Ray has a 50+ pound weigh advantage about a minute after Ray is announced at 275 to Hardy’s 227. Feeling out process to start with Ray running Hardy over with a hard shoulder. A quick slam gets two for Ray and the champion bails to the corner. Hardy fights back with the Whisper in the Wind for two but can’t escape as Ray rams Hardy’s leg into the cage.

Ray starts a slow and methodical offense by working over the champion’s ribs and back. A big backdrop gets two for Ray but Jeff gets in a shot to earn himself a breather. The Twist and the Bubba Bomb are both countered but the second attempt at the Twist of Fate connects. Cue Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff into the cage but Jeff and Bully run them over. Bully lets himself be a springboard for Poetry in Motion before throwing both bikers out.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring with Jeff actually taking over. A flying forearm takes Bully down and there’s a low dropkick for two. Hardy tries to climb out but Ray makes the save and they slug it out on the top rope. Hardy kicks Ray in the head but falls to the mat, allowing Ray to fall off the top onto Jeff for a VERY close two. The Twist staggers Bully but as Jeff goes up, Ray hits a HUGE sitout powerbomb out of the corner to put both guys down.

Ray covers for two and the fans are split. Cue the Hogans to watch the main event from ringside to cheer on Bully. Ray gets to his feet very slowly but here are Aces and 8’s. Ray stands up and has a chain as the bikers come in. To the shock of not many people, Ray is thrown a hammer by D-Von and clubs down Jeff to win the title, revealing himself as the leader at 17:20.

Rating: B-. That powerbomb alone was worth the whole match. The ending isn’t really all that surprising but at least Aces and 8’s have FINALLY done something of note. Bully Ray as world champion of a major company in 2013 is a huge gamble to say the least, but it appears that we’re heading to Hogan vs. Ray down the line. To call that a gamble is an even shorter stretch but it’s what we appear to be getting.

Ray demands that his hand be raised post match as the Hogans are all sad. He yells at Brooke and calls her nothing while telling Hulk that he’s a worthless old man. Ray says he used the Hogans and trash is thrown into the ring. He admits that he’s the President of the Aces and 8’s and that he’s world champion. The Dudleys embrace end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The problem for this show is that out of eight matches, four of them were as worthless as you can get. The first hour or so of this show did nothing at all and I was bored out of my mind for a lot of it. The good thing is that the other four matches were all quite good and the ending was a nice surprise, especially given that I didn’t know what to expect for the most part. Good show here for the most part, but the lower card is a death trap right now.

Results

Kenny King b. Zema Ion and Christian York – Royal Flush to York

Joseph Park b. Joey Ryan – Seated Senton

Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face

Robbie T b. Robbie E – Spinebuster

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez and Bad Influence – Roode pinned Daniels after a splash from Guerero

Wes Brisco b. Kurt Angle – Brisco escaped the cage

Team TNA b. Aces and 8’s – Elbow drop off the top of the cage to Knux

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy – Pin after hitting Hardy with a hammer

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