http://www.prowrestling.net/artman/publish/TNA/article10030226.shtml

So let me get this straight….Bobby Roode, one half of the reigning tag team champions and a guy whose run as the longest reigning world champion in company history ended less than a year and a a guy who had a world title shot on PPV THIS YEAR isn’t worthy of remembering to re-sign???  This is the kind of mistake WCW made back in 1990 with the Iron freaking Sheik.  Not only is his status for Lockdown up in the air, but it leaves an opening for WWE to sign him if they want to.  The lawsuit is over, so why not?  Maybe TNA can hire Bull Buchanan to replace him.

If nothing else, how could TNA let this happen when they stole another company’s tag team champion LAST FREAKING YEAR with Kenny King?

The jokes about them being amateur hour write themselves.

Wrestlicious Takedown
Date: March 10, 2010
Location: Wrestlicious Studios, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentator: Johnny C.

Oh sweet goodness what am I doing to myself? For those of you unfamiliar, go watch the trailer on Youtube right now. It’s basically the spiritual successor to G.L.O.W., which is known for good looking women and completely campy comedy and women that are “wrestlers”. In this case, it was started by a guy that won a Powerball lottery and used his money on this. Jimmy Hart played a big part in this and I think it’s out of business now. This is the second episode. Let’s get to it.

Oh and the girls are mostly all wrestlers, some of which you’ll know. They’re ALL in very stereotypical and overdone gimmicks which I’m sure you’ll catch on to. There are also comedy skits to go along with the wrestling. The word “studios” means warehouse too.

Jimmy Hart pops up and is worried about being the host and stuck with a bimbo or stick in the mud. Leyla Milani, the runner up in one of the Diva Searches, appears and is the co-host. Oh geez there’s a laugh track.

We do the opening video which is most of the girls in character in front of a personalized screen.

Boot Camp Bailey, the trainer, wants to talk about something. She’s a military themed girl with a VERY short skirt. She says attention a lot and says she’s looking for a few good women. Bailey asks who wants to be a trainee and calls a few “fans” into the ring. One of the girls is the floor manager who has to take her headset off before she gets in. Bailey apparently is a model with no wrestling experience. This is getting LOUDLY booed by the way.

We get a clip from last week of a six girl tag with the Country Cousins vs. the Mexican team/Felony, a prison character. I have no idea what the announcer’s name is. Felony tries to escape during the match. Apparently the commentator’s name is Johnny C. and he has no idea what he’s calling. The Mexican team and Felony won with what looked like a Snow Plow.

There’s going to be a battle royal with the final two facing each other for the Wrestlicious Title.

We go to “the farm” (green screen) with Cousin Cassie and Tyler Texas who do a comedy bit called “You Just Might Be A Down Home Wrestler.” I’m sure you get the idea here.

And now, a game show: Are You Smarter Than A Male Wrestler, hosted by Jimmy Hart. Our contestants are Glory (female wrestler Christie Ricci playing a patriot) and Brian Knobbs. The category is American History and the question is what happened in 1776. Knobbs thinks it’s the first beer drinking contest. Glory gets it right (I guess the signing of the Declaration of Independence was all that happened in America that year)…..and that’s it.

We recap the Bailey segment from like 5 minutes ago.

Now three girls are in a bedroom on a bed. Now they go to make drinks but Bailey stops them. Oh ok they’re the trainees. To be continued. Did I mention we’re almost halfway through the show?

Package on Lacey Von Erich which is her on the beach in swimsuits.

Tony the Top (mob character) says that Autumn Frost (an Ice Princess, whatever that is. You may know her as Jennifer Blake who does indy wrestling and is a somewhat big female star in AAA) should be on JV Rich’s (the owner of the company and owner of a big mansion where comedy bits like this one are shot at) arm. He says she should be on a leash, which gets a HUGE reaction from the laugh track.

Paige Webb (Serena from the Straight Edge Society with hair) answers an e-mail from a male admirer. Included in the e-mail is a picture of his pierced genitals I think.

Three girls are arguing over what to call the aforementioned battle royal. Go vote on their website for the NAME OF THE MATCH. This show is cut into three parts on Youtube and we’re about to start part 3 with no matches.

HOKEY SMOKE A WRESTLING MATCH!

Autumn Frost vs. Paige Webb

Frost is from Alaska so we get a snow effect. Webb is a computer geek. Get it? Johnny C. makes a bunch of bad sex jokes and we’re ready to go. Frost jumps her but gets caught in a full nelson. The commentary is nothing but puns. Literally, it’s all puns and the occasional name of a move. Frost hooks a full nelson of her own but Webb arm drags out of it. Webb hooks the armbar as the announcer talks about how Webb’s box is filled every night. With e-mails of course.

A monkey flip puts Frost down and “the ice girl goeth”. Back in and Frost takes over. I can’t handle or give you an accurate description of the amount of the puns being used here. Apparently Webb needs to reboot from a snow boot. Frost beats her down “like a computer virus.” I’m dying listening to how bad this is.

They do a pinfall reversal sequence and Webb gets caught in a chinlock. Webb comes back with some armdrags and sends Frost to the floor for a beating. Back in a top rope cross body gets two for Webb. After a quick run on the floor, Webb tries a monkey flip but Frost falls on her and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Both girls are pro wrestlers already so the match wasn’t that bad, but the commentary here is going to make or break the match for you. I kid you not, you won’t go ten seconds without a terrible pun, but if you just give up on the show being serious and enjoy it for how HORRIBLE it is, the commentary will grow on you quickly. The wrestling wasn’t half bad.

We get a preview for next week which is a voodoo chick vs. Madison Rayne as a cheerleader.

Overall Rating: B. Now let me explain. This show is TERRIBLE. There’s about four minutes of wrestling (the show is only half an hour including commercials so it’s not a huge stretch), a TON of bad comedy bits that don’t go anywhere and the commentary is nothing but puns.

HOWEVER, this is the kind of show where if you saw more than four seconds of the previews, you knew exactly what you were getting into. This show knows it’s horrible and it doesn’t try to take itself seriously in the slightest. I found it hilarious with how bad it was and if you go into it with that kind of mindset, you’ll have fun with it. Plus the girls look good so that helps.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

We close out the series with this.  Click on the link for the review of the show the match is on if applicable.  Also remember: favorite does NOT equal best.

Honorable Mention: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels (Wrestlemania 25).  Any match that hadm e on the edge of my seat like this one did has to be on this list.

Honorable Mention: Doomsday Cage (Uncensored 1996). This is the kind of match that is so bad it’s hilarious.  It looks cool, but if you think about it for more than 8 seconds, the match goes out the window into the land of WOW THIS IS STUPID.  That can be endlessly entertaining and this one is.  Check it out, and read my review at the same time to see how many head scratchers you can find in it.

Honorable Mention: TLC II (Wrestlemania X7). Take six guys, have them beat the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes, throw in Lita taking her top off.  What more do you need to know here?

Honorable Mention: Cactus Jack vs. HHH (Royal Rumble 2000).  This is one of those matches where you didn’t know who was going to win until the very end because HHH was in so far over his head.  Everything was on Cactus’ side and the match is one of the bloodiest affairs you’ll ever see in wrestling.  this is the match that made HHH into a killer and he stayed there for years.

5. AJ Styles vs. Abyss (Lockdown 2005). I love the David vs. Goliath story and this is a great example of that idea.  The opening segment of this match with the two of them outside of the cage is as entertaining a two or three minute stretch as TNA has ever produced, bar none.  AJ is all over the place, sliding and diving and jumping to try to slow the monster down but Abyss stops him every time.  AJ finally goes straight up Superman and dives over about four rows to take Abyss down.  I get into this every time and it’s a brawl all the way through.

4. Hart Foundation vs. Demolition (Summerslam 1990). A friend of mine from WrestleZone has called this the best tag team match ever and I’m not sure he’s that far off.  This is insanely entertaining as Demolition has held the belts for months now and the Harts have about as much of a chance as I do at winning Miss Nevada 1982.  The champions cheat like there’s no tomorrow with switches and beating up the referee and whatever else they can pull off.  LOD comes out to even things up and stop the cheating and the Harts use the one opening they have to steal the titles.  It’s great and if you watch it you’ll get into it too.

3. Sting vs. Cactus Jack (Beach Blast 1992). Two of my three favorite wrestlers in a match that Foley said was his best ever for a long time.  I think you can figure this one out.

2. Shawn Michaels vs. Shelton Benjamin (Monday Night Raw – 5/2/2005). For years and years I had this as my favorite match and it’s still very hard to dop.  The idea of Shawn fighting himself from ten years ago is brilliant and the match is so incredibly crisp.  On top of that the ending is one of the best looking knockouts you’ll ever see anywhere.  From a personal standpoint, this was a turning point for me as a fan as for the first time ever I could see a story being told in a match and got way into that aspect of it instead of cheering for my favorites.

1. Sting vs. Vader (Starrcade 1992). This was always one of my favorites but the more I thought about it the more I realized how much I love it.  If I’m ever in the mood to watch something fun, this is what I throw on.  It’s the David vs. Goliath formula again….if David was 6’3 and 240lbs.  The idea here is simple: Vader DESTROYED Sting to win the world title in July but this is about revenge and some stupid tournament.  Sting had always been able to charge head first into whomever he was facing before this and beat them through pure talent, but when he tried to charge at Vader he got his block knocked off.  Instead he needs to use his brain, but since Sting is kind of stupid he tries rope a dope instead.  Sting lets Vader pound him down until Vader has nothing left and then Sting goes in for the kill.  The visuals of Sting getting beaten down more and more before FINALLY making his superhuman comeback are awesome if you can get behind an underdog, which is what Sting was coming into this.  Check this one out for sure.

It’s arguably the second biggest show of the year and I can’t say I’m thrilled for it.  The show is at the Alamodome which had over 60,000 people in it for the 1997 Royal Rumble, but I don’t think they’re going to get that many this time.  Let’s get to it.To begin with, we’ll look at the world title match, which has one major problem:

Why are they fighting? It’s been made clear that the only reason Ray has gotten this shot is because he’s Hulk’s son in law. Ray didn’t win a big match, he hasn’t beaten anyone in a singles match lately (his last televised one on one win was against Jesse Godderz. Before then, his last singles win on TV was in SEPTEMBER when he beat Aries, as in the guy he lost to on PPV in December), he and Hardy have no personal issue, and Ray has barely been around him due to feuding with Aces and 8’s. Hardy was gone for a month and is just now back in action but he hasn’t had much interaction with Ray either.

At the end of the day, Ray hasn’t earned this shot and hasn’t won anything of note lately, Hardy hasn’t done anything to Ray, and they don’t hate each other.  What is the interest in seeing them fight?

For a prediction I’ll take Hardy to retain, as all signs point to Bully winning and turning heel.  Since that would make sense, we’ll say it won’t happen.  Also it would make Hogan look stupid and we can’t have that.

Next up is Lethal Lockdown which brings us to Aces and 8’s.  Let me try to get through this as fast as I can so I don’t have to think about them.  Aces and 8’s is probably the worst major stable in company history.  From taking FOREVER to reveal a member to having D-Von and Anderson as their top names to having D’Lo Freaking Brown revealed as their second in command, they have nothing going for them and they haven’t in the NINE MONTHS they’ve been around.   At the end of the day, we have no idea why they’re doing what they’re doing and there’s no sign that such information is coming anytime soon.  The whole story is a disaster.

The ONLY chance they have at salvaging it is to win Lethal Lockdown while revealing a big name as their boss.  The problem with that is all signs point to either Jeff Jarrett or Eric Bischoff being the boss, which doesn’t do much good.  The problem is we’ve seen them both lead massive stables before so it would be the same warmed over stuff we’ve seen before with lower level names and far more damage coming in.

As for the match, I’ll take the bikers but given how things have been going, I’ll expect them to lose.

Kurt Angle beats Wes Brisco despite a ton of help from Aces and 8’s.  If that happens, the bikers win Lethal Lockdown.

I’ll take Roode and Aries to keep the belts.  It’s way too early for them to lose.  Either way, for the love of all things good and holy, PLEASE don’t put them back on Chavo and Hernandez.  I can’t take that again.

Velvet keeps her title.  I can’t take more Gail Kim on top either.

Robbie T destroys Robbie E of course.

I’ll take Kenny King to retain and Joseph Park to beat Joey Ryan.  You haven’t heard of these matches?  Most people haven’t either, but that’s because TNA is awful at setting up a PPV card and they added these matches in at the last second to fill in some time.

Overall Lockdown is a very uninspiring show.  Between the lackluster world title match and Aces and 8’s dragging things down,   This isn’t a show that I’m thrilled with watching but TNA has surprised me before.  Grnated they’ve also had some of the worst shows I’ve ever seen but hopefully that won’t be the case here.

Thoughts/Predictions?

USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: March 9, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Dave Brown, Michael St. John

We had to skip ahead about a month here but it shouldn’t be a big problem. As far as I know there haven’t been any major changes, although at some point before the 15th, Jarrett’s Southern Title was held up after a match with Steve Austin so there’s no champion. Other than that everything seems to be the same. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Night Train Jackson vs. Sgt. O’Reilly

The show is starting a little early so some fans aren’t there yet. Jackson throws him around and dances a bit. He hits something like Old School and no sells a headbutt. See Jackson is black and in wrestling that means he has a hard head. Dropkick and a fisherman’s suplex get the pin. Squash.

The announcers talk about the Open Door Policy, which means if you want a match, talk to the promoter and they’ll try to get you one. That leads us to a video on the Texas Hangmen who are apparently violent. They shout a lot and no one, including the announcers, can understand it.

We talk about last week where Jeff Gaylord surprisingly joined up with JC Ice and we get a clip of Gaylord jumping Superstar Bill Dundee. Gaylord bailed on Downtown Bruno in the process.

Ronnie Leach vs. Jeff Gaylord

Gaylord is a power guy so he picks Leach up in a bearhug position and rams him into two corners. Backbreaker hits and he throws Ronnie to the floor. Apparently Ice has stolen all of Bruno’s talent, which means Bruno is heading to the WWF I believe. A modified powerbomb, the Dehumanizer, kills Leach and eventually a pumphandle slam gets the pin. Squash #2.

Dundee jumps Gaylord before Gaylord can go for an interview. Dundee rams him into the post to get rid of him. He talks about how he’s fighting to get his son Jamie (JC Ice) back. I forgot about that. Dundee says he’ll do whatever it takes to get him back and that includes beating up everyone that Jamie brings in.

Jerry Lawler will be at some hardware stores next week.

House show ads.

We hear about how Terry Funk won’t show up and defend the world title. We get a clip of him winning the title off Lawler in November. Eddie Gilbert tried to interfere and wound up costing Lawler the title. We also hear about the bounties that Funk put out over the last few months.

We finally hear from Funk for the first time in the nearly three months I’ve been watching this show. He’s being forced to come back to face Lawler in a rematch which will be two days after this show. Thinking of Memphis makes him spit and the people are even worse. Lawler is the worst of all of them but isn’t man enough to take the title from Funk. Apparently Jackie Fargo is going to be the referee again and Funk thinks he’s an old pervert. The match should be in Amarillo, Texas where men are men. Funk is only 46 here and he’s as evil as ever. Maybe he’ll stomp Fargo so Fargo’s heart will stop. That could be awesome.

Video on the career of Jerry Lawler. We get clips of him fighting probably 25 legends in a very impressive package. Pretty much every big name from the era (other than Flair, who I’ve seen Lawler face in Memphis when Flair was NWA Champion) is shown with Lawler beating them up, including both Funks, Hogan, Race, Savage, Rude, Hennig, and about twenty others. It’s really cool stuff. We also get a look at his work outside of the ring with kids. We also see clips from the Jerry Lawler Show, which is exactly what it sounds like and was a real talk/variety show that aired in Memphis. The whole thing runs almost nine minutes.

Mid-South show ad, including the Lawler vs. Funk match.

Lawler comes out and talks about the match coming up. It’s taken forever to get here but he’s ready. He’s not really fired up for it but is more calm and cautious. Win, lose or draw it’ll be his last match for awhile to heal from some injuries.

We get highlights from El Gran Pistolero vs. Danny Davis for the Light Heavyweight Title. Are there any matches on this show? The match is thrown out.

Davis says he was expecting a match and got a fight, and that’s not cool. He’ll fight Pistolero anytime.

Curtis Thompson/Brad Collins vs. Eric Embry/Tom Pritchard

Pritchard and Collins get things going. Tom and Eric are Texas guys so they keep explaining how awesome their home state is. It’s off to Embry who gets in some shots and then back to Pritchard. Both heels keep jumping between the apron and commentary. Pritchard tries a slingshot suplex that goes so badly it would make Tully Blanchard shoot himself so he could roll over in his grave. Embry hits a top rope headbutt for the pin. Thompson was never in the match.

The Texans make fun of Lawler and Tennessee.

Southern Heavyweight Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Austin

The title is vacant coming in. Austin takes over quickly and stomps him down into the corner. JC Ice has the referee and Jeff’s small package is missed. Austin hooks a chinlock which only lasts a few seconds. Jeff tries to speed things up but walks into a knee to the stomach. Austin rolls him up in the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A foreign object shot gets the same. Jeff hooks a quick sunset flip and gets the title back.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match ever but it was only a few minutes long and neither guy was all that great yet. This was more about pushing the Monday matches forward because of the post match stuff. Not much to see here and Jeff has the title back that he never really lost in the first place.

Jarrett gets beaten down by Austin and the other Texas guys but Eddie Gilbert makes the save. Jarrett says it ends Monday. Gilbert says bring on the blood.

Overall Rating: C+. This was much more like a go home show rather than a regular show which is an interesting change. The Lawler video is awesome and could easily be a HOF/retirement video all on its own. The matches were short here but it set up Funk vs. Lawler on Monday which is the whole point here. Good stuff but it could have been great with some better wrestling.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 8, 2013
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We continue to move closer to Wrestlemania with this stop in Albany. The main event tonight is the match that the fans picked last week with Alberto Del Rio facing Dolph Ziggler although not for the title. Other than that we’re likely to see some more development in Sheamus/Orton/Big Show vs. Shield in a story that started last week. Also I’m sure Swagger and Colter will be here. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic to Paul Bearer. Very nice.

The opening video shows the end of last week’s show with Orton and Sheamus being ready to fight Shield before Big Show gave them a surprise hand. Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. Big Show.

Here are Swagger and Colter to start things off. Swagger introduces Colter, who wants the crowd to admit that they all think like him. Everyone should be able to see what’s wrong with America, but everyone else is too afraid to do something about it. Colter asks how many people know someone who has lost a job to someone who has snuck across the border and will work for a lower wage. He talks about writing a new bill of rights for the citizens because they’ve had enough of this and if you don’t like it that’s too bad.

This brings out Alberto and Ricardo with the champion saying that he’s got proof of what Colter and Swagger really think America is about. We get a video of Ricardo dressed as Colter and Alberto portraying Swagger. Ricardolter says the real threat to America is Mexican food, because real American bellies can’t take those kinds of beans and spices. Real Americans love pizza and French fries you see. Swaggerto wants to go get a pizza but he isn’t allowed to because he has to say his catchphrase first. Not bad.

3MB vs. HELL NO

Before the match we see 3MB getting beaten up by Tensai/Brodus Clay/Honky Tonk Man. This is non-title and it’s Slater and McIntyre for 3MB. Kane and McIntyre start things off with both guys getting in a shot to the face before it’s off to Slater. Kane elbows him down and Bryan gets a tag in. Bryan sends Heath to the floor with a hurricanrana but misses the knee off the apron. McIntyre gets in a shot to the head of Bryan and the band takes over.

Drew pounds away in the corner as 3MB makes some quick tags in and out. McIntyre stays in for a bit and is caught in a belly to back suplex from Daniel, allowing for the hot tag to Kane. Slater comes in as well and is immediately run over by the monster. A low dropkick keeps Slater down as does an uppercut which gets two. There’s the side slam for good measure but a Jinder Mahal distraction lets Slater stay out of the chokeslam. Bryan tags himself in and counters a rollup attempt into the NO Lock on Slater for the submission at 3:52.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as HELL NO continues to roll along while having no challengers in sight. There’s no one for them to fight at the moment and they aren’t having as many problems as they had before, so what is there to be interested about with them right now? They aren’t really even funny together anymore.

We hear about Natalya and Alicia Fox going to Rwanda on a charity trip for malaria relief.

Ziggler talks about how the fans voted him in to face Del Rio because they want to see the most show stealing match in Smackdown history. It’s also about the MITB case because history will be made tonight.

Ryback is on the way to the ring for a match when he sees Mark Henry. They stare each other down again but nothing happens.

Brad Maddox has joined the commentary booth.

We see HHH’s challenge to Brock Lesnar from Raw.

Damien Sandow is in the ring saying that tonight he’s facing the brute that Darwin’s theory of evolution forgot. If he’s hungry, he should feed himself with the arts.

Ryback vs. Damien Sandow

Ryback takes him into the corner to start before throwing Sandow across the ring. Sandow rolls to the floor for only a few seconds before Ryback throws him back in. Damien gets in one shot but sees Ryback glaring at him, sending him running away. Back in again and Sandow gets in a few shots to the back to take over.

Some knees to the ribs slow Ryback down as Maddox thinks Cole is his employee. Off to a chinlock by Damien but Ryback quickly breaks free and elbows him down. A backdrop puts Damien down again as Maddox thinks Ryback is cheating somehow. The Meat Hook sets up the Shell Shock for the pin on Sandow at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Another squash here as Sandow’s offense seemed to annoy Ryback more than hurt him. That’s a good sign though as Ryback is starting to string together some victories after the disastrous winter that he just got done with. The fans still seem to like him though and that’s a good sign for the monster.

We get a clip from after Raw went off the air where the Shield attacked Big Show and actually managed the hit him with the TripleBomb.

Big Show says he’ll fight anyone that gets in his way and knock them out.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title here again. Brad applauds himself for signing off on this match despite having nothing to do with it. If he wasn’t so worthless I might say I like him a bit. Ziggler shoves him into the corner to start and hits a Stinger Splash before choking away a bit. Langston adds in a shot of his own so Ricardo hits him with a towel. Langston goes after Rodriguez so Ricardo picks up the bucket and throws some water, which hits AJ by mistake. AJ chases Ricardo around but gets caught by Big E., earning the two of them an ejection. The match has basically stopped during this whole scene.

We take a break and come back with Dolph getting two off an elbow drop. Off to a chinlock by Ziggler for a bit but Del Rio comes back with a sunset flip for two. Swagger and Colter are watching in the back. Off to another chinlock with a body scissors by Ziggler which doesn’t last long again. Del Rio launches Dolph into the air before putting him on the top rope for a reverse superplex. It stuns both guys though so they stand up for a slugout.

Alberto takes over again with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by the low superkick for two. Ziggler is sent into the corner but he fights out of the Backstabber, only to be caught in the second attempt, getting two for Del Rio. Josh brings up a good point on commentary: where is Booker? He’s barely been around in the last few weeks.

Alberto goes up but jumps into a dropkick which only gets two for Dolph. A German suplex gets a near fall on Ziggler but he comes back with a tornado DDT for the same. The cross armbreaker is countered into a rollup but the second attempt gets the submission from Dolph at 10:02 shown of 13:32.

Rating: B-. This started off stupid with all of the comedy antics but it picked up by the end. The problem here though is the usual: Ziggler loses yet again, despite probably cashing in soon. I know I’ve been saying that for awhile now but he has until July, which is a lot closer than it sounds. I hope he loses at this point though, because it would make the title look weak otherwise.

In the back, Bryan makes fun of AJ for being soaked and looking like a Shetland pony. She doesn’t care because soon enough she’ll be with the World Heavyweight Champion. Bryan reminds her that when they were together, he was world champion. AJ says he lost it in 18 seconds, but Bryan says with Ziggler, AJ should be used to stuff lasting 18 seconds.

Mark Henry vs. Yoshi Tatsu

This is exactly what you would expect with Henry winning in 39 seconds via the World’s Strongest Slam.

We get Donald Trump’s Hall of Fame video.

Sheamus says Big Show shouldn’t blame him for what Shield did to him on Raw. It doesn’t surprise him though because nothing Big Show does is his fault. It’s not his fault that his gear smells because he never washes it or that people think he’s Shrek when he goes to Universal Studios. It won’t be his fault either when Sheamus kicks his head off later tonight.

We go back to Raw to see Rock and Cena’s confrontation.

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina Snuka

Layla is at ringside. Non-title again here and Kaitlyn starts fast with a backdrop. Cole gets sent face first into the ropes which sends her out to the floor. Layla gets knocked down on the floor so she tries to get in, allowing Tamina to hit a Samoan Drop on Kaitlyn for the pin at 1:24.

Sandow and Rhodes are watching in the back. Damien wants to talk strategy for their match on Monday but Rhodes wants to talk about Kaitlyn. Sandow thinks she’s a good wrestler but Rhodes means as a woman. Damien thinks she’s a success given how bad her genetic makeup is. These two still have decent chemistry together.

Fandango debuts tonight….allegedly.

Justin Gabriel vs. Fandango

No match again as Fandango doesn’t like how Lillian pronounces his name. Fandango calls her Jillian.

Booker and Teddy are in the back and don’t know what to think of what they just saw. Booker sends Teddy to tell Fandango that he has to perform the next time he’s told to.

We get a video from Raw, summarizing that Undertaker faces Punk at Wrestlemania.

Colter and Swagger video on speaking English.

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Show tries his chop in the corner but Sheamus avoids it and pounds away at the giant. A headbutt puts Sheamus down though and Show pounds away in the corner. Show spears him down to the floor where Sheamus is chopped in the chest. As they come back in, Sheamus gets in some shots to the chest, only to be launched into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.

Back with Big Show holding a nerve hold followed by a side slam for two. Big Show goes up for his Vader Bomb but Sheamus pulls him down. Show escapes again and hits the falling backwards powerbomb for two. We head to the corner for a long series of chops by Big Show before he grabs Sheamus by the beard. Sheamus fights back with shoulders blocks in the middle of the ring as well as in the corner before clotheslining Big Show down.

Sheamus goes up, only to jump into a chokeslam. He counters with a DDT for two though and both guys are down. Big Show blocks White Noise but can’t block it twice in a row, allowing Sheamus to plant him with it. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but Big Show rolls to the floor. The Irishman hits a clothesline off the apron to put Show down again and we head back inside. As Show is on the apron though it’s a Brogue Kick to put him down again. Here’s Shield though and we’ll say the match is thrown out at 7:00 shown of 10:30.

Rating: C. This was their usual hard hitting brawl but the match wasn’t flowing as well as it usually does. It was more like a collection of moves instead a well built match like they had at Hell in a Cell or one of their later fights. To be fair though this is just a Smackdown match with a run-in finish so it’s not like they needed to make it as good as they had before.

With Sheamus surrounded, here’s Orton to even the odds a little bit. The numbers catch up with them though until Big Show gets up and cleans house almost on his own. The Shield runs away and Big Show knocks out Sheamus, onlly to walk into an RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a great episode. They’re definitely in build mode for Wrestlemania, but there are still some holes with no matches. It’s clear that Ryback is fighting Henry and the six man is going to happen as well as the world title, but stuff like Ziggler and the tag champions aren’t clear yet. With nothing coming up for them yet, it’s kind of dull watching them have the same seemingly meaningless matches that we’ve watched them have for months.

Results

HELL NO b. 3MB – NO Lock to Slater

Ryback b. Damien Sandow – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker

Mark Henry b. Yoshi Tatsu – World’s Strongest Slam

Tamina Snuka b. Kaitlyn – Samoan Drop

Big Show vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

SHIMMER Volume 29
Date: April 10, 2010
Location: Eagles Club, Berwyn, Illinois
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Portia Perez

This is Shimmer, which is supposed to be all caps but that gets annoying quickly so screw it. This is an all women’s wrestling organization and allegedly pretty good. I’ve never seen it or anything like that so I don’t know what to expect. You might recognize some of the names and I’ll do what I can to let you know who is who. The company records a lot of volumes at once so this is one of four taped in two days. I’m not sure what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Kellie Skater vs. Neveah

Kellie is a heel here and I have no clue who these people are. Neveah is rather attractive. There might be 200 people here and you can clearly hear every word shouted by the girls. That’s not saying it’s bad or anything. It’s just in a small venue. Kellie is from “the most awesomest place ever” and is made of pure adamantium (the stuff Wolverine’s skeleton is made of in X-Men). Ok so she’s awesome. Neveah is pronounced Nuh Vay Uh.

Prazak is already getting on my nerves. Slater is something close to a main event wrestler apparently but hasn’t actually won anything on that level. She also might not be sane. Neveah is a tag worker that’s trying out the singles stuff for the first time. Neveah is ok at best but she’s fairly amateurish with some of her stuff. Perez is just saying what’s going on in the ring, making me think she’s a student of Joey Styles.

Neveah only does basic stuff but this is her first singles match I think so I can understand that to a degree. Skater is called the Rate Tank and I have no idea what that means. The move that Cena calls the Throwback ends it for Skater.

Rating: D. Nothing very good at all here as this would likely have been better as a dark match. It wasn’t horrible I guess but this just never got going. It was a glorified squash and never really got anything going at all. I’ve seen far worse though and this was about on the level of a decent Knockouts match.

Annie Social/Melanie Cruisevs. Pretty Witchin

Pretty Witching are Ariel and Nikki Roxx, more famous as Roxxi of TNA fame. Roxx is still very cute. The team with the more famous name are your faces. Crowd is into Nikki so at least she’s popular. Annie appears to be the shorter one which I’m sure I won’t remember later. The referee gets more heat than the heel team which isn’t good I don’t think. Melanie is really tall and tries for a test of strength with a rather short Ariel.

Neither can slam the other and Roxxi comes in to crank it up a bit. Ariel beats the heck out of Annie who apparently is a manager for the most part. And so much for that as Ariel is getting beaten down fairly well here. Melanie beats the tar out of Ariel here which takes up a good while. Roxx gets the hot tag and can’t hurt Melanie due to insane height. The Voodoo Drop, which is called the Barbie Crusher here, gets the pin on Annie.

Rating: C-. Better match here as the wrestling was of a higher quality. Not a great match or anything but still decent enough.

Some chick named Amber Gertner talks to a British chick named Tenille who has a match with Sara Del Ray and she’s excited. Riveting. There was no point to this at all.

Rachel Summerlyn vs. LuFisto

I’ve heard of both of these girls but I don’t know much about them. LuFisto is a hardcore chick I think. She’s all in pink and has a baby doll with her. Ah ok she’s an anime girl or something. Well ok then. This is more of a fight than a match and apparently Rachel wanted LuFisto to train her but she refused for no apparent reason. LuFisto has a bad back so, showing psychology, Rachel goes after it. LuFisto works the arm and throws on a SICK armbar for the tap.

Rating: C. Very short match here but long enough to see something going on. With psychology from both girls I can’t complain much. This wasn’t even four minutes but it worked pretty well I thought. The submission stuff worked and it’s nice to see someone just go after a body part and hit a quick submission. It’s more realistic and I like it better than way at times.

Jamila Craft vs. Mercedes Martinez

Craft has some kind of weird mask thing going on. Martinez is a big deal apparently and is rather popular. Jamila is the youngest chick to graduate from the Shimmer Academy and this is her debut. Craft does some decent stuff here as this is mainly a mat/technical match here. There’s a nice little story going here as Martinez stays about a step ahead of her by just upping the difficulty a bit each time which is a good thing for the whole rookie idea.

Martinez is kind of a tweener here which isn’t how this started. We hit five minutes for the first match in a good while. Fisherman is countered into a rollup for two for the rookie. And then Craft gets her head kicked off and a Fisherman’s Buster ends it. Solid little match for her debut.

Rating: C+. Considering that was one of the girls’ debut, not bad at all. Martinez didn’t look incredibly great but Craft was solid for a rookie. It was an entertaining match with a bit of a story to it as well. I’d give this a worse rating if it wasn’t for the rookie thing, but that’s one of the better debuts for an 18 year old girl in a mask that I’ve ever seen.

We recap something from the last Volume where a chick hit Allison Danger in the head with a belt to steal a win. I’m guessing this is going to come into play in the next match?

Rayna Von Tashvs. Allison Danger

Tash is very attractive and looks a bit like a call girl. Danger was in ROH for awhile and is in a white mask which she’ll take off for the match. Her brother is the more famous wrestler in their family: Steve Corino. Dang I’m enjoying looking at Rayna. She’s the first girl here to be more about her looks than her in ring work but you need a character like that every once in awhile. Heck look at Cody Rhodes on Smackdown.

Danger talks to the crowd a lot which is kind of funny. Portia leaves because she doesn’t like Danger. She claims she has Ninja Turtles to watch on Tivo, making her my new favorite person here. Kellie Slater, who is apparently Australian, is here as her replacement. Danger hates Portia too apparently. Rayna isn’t much in the ring but I’ve seen worse. I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head but whatever.

She dances a lot before every move which is kind of different. Allison is another big deal here too I’m guessing. She’s treated like one if nothing else. This isn’t much of a match but I’m getting a glorified squash feel to it or there’s going to be an interesting finish involving the other chicks. Yeah this is almost all Allison here. Danger does kind of a reverse facebreaker to end it.

Rating: C-. Again this was just a glorified squash but Rayna is a rookie as well so I’d assume this was also a way for her to get some ring time. This came off pretty well again given the circumstances like this. It was decent enough but Danger looked a bit weak at times, although it was minor.

Danger calls out Portia but we get a promo instead. Portia is so clearly reading off a script but in a cool moment Portia slips up behind her while being on the screen at the same time. Cool idea. Portia’s partner, Nicole stops the referee and they cuff her to the ropes. Some faces come out but that doesn’t work either. Social and Cruise from earlier come down and run interference for the champions (Portia and Nicole). Apparently the cuffing didn’t happen. This would set up a last woman standing match next time which Allison won.

Sassy Stephie vs. Madison Eagles

Eagles is champion of the company by the time this is written so what do you expect here? She gets a welcome back chant which makes me think this is her return match. Eagles is 6’1 and Australian. Yeah that’s all I’ve got. Stephie has an indyish name if I’ve ever heard one. For MMA fans here, Eagles has trained with GSP. That’s kind of cool. Stephie is normally a tag wrestler.

This is a rather sloppy match but I think it’s hard to have a match with such a tall person like Eagles. Madison no sells some stuff and Hulks Up, getting a knee shot for two. Stephie fights back for a bit but walks into a Death Valley Driver into the knee which is called Hellbound. Cool name.

Rating: D+. Probably the weakest of the night so far, but I think this was designed to set up Madison winning the title soon afterwards. The main thing here is that Madison looked a bit weak and only hit a few moves here and there as instead of dominating she got beaten down for a good while before hitting her finisher to end it. That’s not saying it was one big move, but it didn’t work like they wanted to I don’t think.

Sarah Stock is here, more commonly known as Sarita. This is a big return apparently and she wants MsChif, who she’s already beaten. Stock gets a title shot somewhere apparently.

Cat Power vs. Jessie McKay

Cat is, amazingly enough, dressed like Catwoman. Jessie looks like one of the Bellas, but I can’t remember which one. Is there a women’s wrestling farm in Australia? She’s like the fourth chick from there. McKay is rather attractive. Portia is back on commentary. Cat is hot in a different kind of way. Jesse throws a ball of yarn and almost gets it to work. That was uh….short thankfully.

They botch a leapfrog which I think is because Jesse jumped early but I’m not sure. Jesse is very cute but not very good. Power isn’t much better than that though. Jesse gets stuck in the Tree of Woe which is always painful looking, which is the idea so it’s a success. Sunset flip gets two. Who it got two for means little here so I’ll let you guess. Jesse makes a comeback and something resembling a Thesz Press gets two.

Power takes over and works the knee as this is getting more fast paced. And it’s Figure Four time. There’s something awesome about seeing that move all over the place. It just looks awesome and painful every time you see it. Yakuza kick gets two and a really bad looking spinebuster kind of move wins it for McKay.

Rating: D. This never was very good. Both of them felt very messy and kind of all over the place. The girls here came off as pretty unready and it just never worked at all. Jesse however is very cute and in a good way. She’s not a serious character but she’s one of the kind of girls that isn’t supposed to be.

Tenille vs. Sara Del Ray

Tenille is reminiscent of Kelly Kelly and Del Ray is a legend here and more or less a killer. Tenille is ANOTHER Australian. Not a bad thing but just kind of weird. Tenille was trained in CALGARY…..wait for it….wait for it….wait for ALBERTA CANADA! Del Ray is pure heel here and looks ticked off about being here, but in a good way. Tenille is the partner of Jesse in the last match, which fits really well.

This is all Del Ray as she’s clearly just toying with her. Sara kicks her head off as we hit five minutes. Shimmer does the counting of how long we’re at in the match. I’m not sure if I’m a fan of that or not. Sara gets this painful choke on where she crosses Tenille’s arms, pulling them back and bends Tenille over her knees. Painful but it doesn’t work.

In something I like, Tenille just starts throwing punches. Sara is in trouble and takes a Christian reverse DDT which is a cool move. Del Ray misses a kick and hurts her knee. Tenille goes up and nearly falls off, getting a dropkick for two. Weird looking leg lock where Tenille is in a Matrix move, making me wonder why Sara doesn’t hit her in the stomach but whatever. And then the Royal Butterfly, a delayed butterfly suplex, ends it.

Rating: C+. Better than I expected here as instead of just a token comeback Tenille got in some solid offense there which I definitely didn’t expect. It’s good to see what appears to be a jobber get close but just fall short, as she looked like she was almost there. Not bad at all and a nice surprise.

After a lot of replays, Madison Eagles says she could win the Shimmer Title.

Misiak iOhata vs. Daizee Haze

Haze is more or less a legend in Shimmer and I have no idea who Ohata is. The legend is a hippie. Ok then. Ohata gets streamers thrown at her, which is some kind of tradition I believe. Nice backflip into a Boston Crab by Haze. This is almost all mat based submission stuff and is bordering on an MMA style fight. I’m still not sure if I like Portia or not. Her voice is grating at first but it grows on you. She’s also a heel so it works out well in the end somehow.

This is a very different kind of match and I’m liking it so far. Haze gets two on a cradle and is TICKED that it didn’t work. She gets all aggressive here which is different for her. They do about five standing switches but Ohata comes out with the German for two. Ohata gets all fired up and Portia thinks she’s going up top. Gee you think? Was it the climbing the ropes that gave it away?

They crank it up again and there’s a Heart Punch, although wouldn’t something block that? It doesn’t matter anyway as Ohata gets a fast rollup for the pin. Daizee goes nuts afterwards and beats up Ohata, turning heel. Her student from earlier, Craft, comes out but she and Ohata both get beaten up.

Rating: B. Very fun and fast paced match here which wasn’t like anything you would see on this show. This was a good match and based more on striking and leverage, which isn’t something you see that often. I really liked this one although it took about two hours to get here, which isn’t a very good sign.

Tomoka Nakagawa vs. Ayumi Kurihara

I know nothing about these girls other than they are Japanese and female. Well my biggest criticism is a lack of puro so here you go. Well kind of at least. This has a 45 minute time limit and considering we have this and one other match to go with over 45 minutes to go in the show, I’d bet on a long one here. Ayumi is in red and Tomoka is in green. Yeah I likely won’t remember that.

The announcers talk about how they’re bringing Joshi here which is interesting if nothing else. These are both very small girls so I’d expect a fast paced match. Tomoka is definitely the heel here as she is being far more aggressive and even bites the hands of Ayumi. Ayumi goes to the legs which makes sense as both are speed girls. Nakagawa grabs the hair and twists it around multiple times. FREAKING OW WOMAN.

A lot of back work by the heel chick follows. Ayumi makes a comeback and works the right arm, which still looks weird. SICK sounding enziguri and Nakagawa takes over again. Fisherman’s suplex, which is Tomoka’s finisher gets two of course. I often wonder what the point of a finisher is if it hardly ever finishes anyone but whatever.

They slug it out and Ayumi gets a Codebreaker. I’m glad they call the moves the more famous names. It doesn’t matter who came up with it or who named it whatever. It’s more famous as the Codebreaker and more people are going to know it as that. More LOUD kicks to the head and we switch control again. We slug it out again and a rollup gets two for Ayumi. They crank it up again and Ayumi gets an exploder suplex out of nowhere for the pin. Nice ending I think.

Rating: B. This should likely be a bit lower but it’s slightly better than a B- to me. I liked the back and forth aspect of this match a lot as both girls were fairly evenly matched. This was also a great example of how to get the crowd against you with some very basic stuff like just being a witch. Nakagawa did just that and came off like a heel in this, which is what made her losing that much better. Nice fast paced match that went back and forth.

We recap the Canadian Ninjas winning the tag belts at Volume 26 where they beat Ashley Lane and Neveah.

Tag Titles: Canadian Ninjas vs. Cheerleader Melissa/Mschif

Mschif is the Shimmer Champion and Melissa is more famous as Raisha Saed and Alissa Flash in TNA. The Canadian Ninjas are Portia Perez and Nicole Matthews. Cool team name if nothing else. This is a dream tag match I guess as it’s two singles wrestlers against the tag champions. Simple but effective and works most of the time. Mschif is cute in a weird way. According to Wiki she’s also a geneticist. Ok that’s just awesome.

The Ninjas say they won’t wrestle until everyone is quiet. Sounds like school. That doesn’t happen and MsChif vs. Nicole starts us off. Nicole, a ninja, gets followed around by Mschif in a funny spot. Both tag out and I’m thinking Portia is the better of the ninjas. Melissa is another legend here so the dynamic is certainly there. Perez has missed back to back shows with an alleged case of swine flu. Well at least they’re thinking for the angles.

Cheating is fun and works for Portia to take over. Naturally as soon as I type that Melissa is controlling again. Nicole shouts GO AFTER HER KNEE so Melissa steals the advice. Nicely done there too. On the floor Melissa picks up Portia and swings her into Nicole to ram her into the barrier in a cool looking sequence. This has been mostly dominance by the challengers so far.

And look: cheating works again. Melissa has been in there for a very long time. There’s the tag finally and Mschif….well I guess you could say she’s cleaning something. It’s certainly not a house. Despite being champion, Mschif is having some issues here. Portia stomps on her face and shouts to the crowd “do I suck now???” “YES!” That was comical. We hit the fifteen minute mark and everyone is down.

Double hot tags and we’re getting close to the ending methinks. Quick tag to MsChif which might have been stupid and there goes the referee. I think I know where this is going. Never mind as a superkick into a German suplex pins the Shimmer Champion and the Ninjas retain. Post match beatdown ensues and Allison Danger runs out for the save to end the show.

Rating: B-. Decent tag here although it was kind of lacking something. The champions retaining clean is always a good thing as it lets them look dominant and legit. This was pretty good I think but at the same time the challengers came off as being a bit too weak, which for a dream team isn’t the best idea. This was good for a main event though and felt like a big match.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a good show but it’s not for everyone. The thing is that just about any show this company puts on is going to have the same justifications and reasoning as any other for the most part. If you’re a fan of women’s wrestling and hate the Divas and Knockouts, this is for you.

The women here are legitimately respected and only one is based around sex. This is women’s wrestling, not women wrestling if that makes sense. The girls are legit athletes and clearly know what they’re doing. It’s a very nice change of pace from the mainstream stuff that is just awful for the most part.

That being said, just like WWE or TNA there are some on here that aren’t very good at all but there are some that are definitely worth checking out. If you’re a fan of this kind of wrestling, check out any if not all of the volumes. The only real criticism I have is the length.

It’s two hours and fifty minutes and some of the stuff just comes off as pointless filler. If they shaved off about thirty to forty minutes and of course dropped the price to match the loss of action, this would be ranked higher. I see why they would do it this way though and it’s certainly good stuff for the most part. Recommended, if nothing else as proof that there is good women’s wrestling out there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 7, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

It’s the final show in the Impact Zone before we start full time on the road next week. It’s also the final show before Lockdown and Lethal Lockdown between Team TNA and Aces and 8’s. Last week Angle unmasked the VP and was shocked at who he saw, but was beaten down before he could say who it was. Odds are we’ll have to wait until Sunday to find out who it was. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Paul Bearer. That’s classy.

After the intro recapping the events of last week, Angle walks into the building and says that tonight he’s going to tell everyone who was under the mask.

Here’s Aries to open the show. He talks about beating Hernandez last week without Bobby Roode’s help, proving that being Supermex isn’t as good as being the greatest man that ever lived. Then he found Bully Ray and Hardy to give them some words of confidence for their match at Lockdown. They didn’t appreciate it though, so right now Aries is calling out Hardy for a match.

Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

Ask and receive I guess. Aries jumps Hardy during the entrance and we’re off fast. A knee drop gets two on the champion as this is non-title I believe. Aries hits a slingshot double ax to the back of Hardy’s head for two but Jeff makes his comeback with right hands in the corner of his own. He tries something out of another corner, only to be thrown out to the floor.

Back with Aries in control and walking around a lot. Hardy grabs a quick small package for two but Aries comes back with a dropkick for two of his own. Jeff misses a charge in the corner before Aries goes up and dances ala Hardy. A middle rope splash gets two and Aries is ticked off. Hardy comes back with a rollup for two and the spinning mule kick for two.

The jawbreaker sets up a splash in the corner by the world champion, followed by a middle rope splash of his own for two. The Twist is countered but Hardy sends Aries to the floor. A clothesline off the apron puts Aries down one more time. Back in and a pair of Twists of Fate puts Aries on the mat but here’s Matt Morgan of all people with the Carbon Footprint to Hardy for the DQ at 12:25.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here until the semi-confusing ending. Unless it’s Morgan as the VP and Ray as the leader this doesn’t make a ton of sense, but it’s the start of something new so maybe they’re setting up for something after Lockdown. Good match here, although not as good as their other matches.

Post match Morgan loads up another kick but Bully Ray comes out to stop it.

Sting gives his team a pep talk.

We look at Angle getting beaten down last week again.

Morgan doesn’t like Hardy or Ray.

We recap Angle’s history with Aces and 8’s.

Instead of Angle, here’s Wes Brisco to the ring instead. Brisco talks about wanting to be Kurt Angle until he got to meet Angle, which is when he realized how worthless Kurt is. The medal around Angle’s neck is so worthless that the Olympics got rid of the sport. He’s going to prove that a Brisco is better than an Angle on Sunday. Cue Kurt who says he remembers Brisco coming to ask him question after question like someone who respected him. Tonight Angle is going to reveal who the VP is, but first he’s going to beat Brisco up early.

Security breaks it up and D’Lo Brown is in Aces and 8’s. He picks up the VP’s mask and apparently it was him under the mask last week. Brown says he’s here to reclaim some club property because he’s the VP. Seriously, I didn’t make that up.

Sting vs. D-Von

This is match #1 in a three match series with the winner getting the advantage in Lethal Lockdown. Sting jumps D-Von to start but gets clotheslined down for two. D-Von hooks a neck crank and pounds away in the corner for a bit. The top rope headbutt misses though and the fight heads to the floor. Some fan throws something in Sting’s face which looks to be red paint of some kind, allowing D-Von to hit a big boot back in the ring for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D. I’m still trying to get over the D’Lo thing. This was another worthless match that doesn’t prove anything because the team is led by D’Lo freaking Brown. What in the world is the point of this team anymore? It’s like the bottom of the barrel of wrestling getting together to form a stable, but we’re supposed to take them seriously.

Velvet is doing an interview when Gail Kim comes up to annoy her. Kim gets slapped.

The Gut Check judges talk about the match last week. Danny Davis of OVW fame is the newest judge.

Lei’d Tapa is getting the chance for a contract later tonight and Ivelisse is eliminated.

Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero/Velvet Sky vs. Bad Influence/Gail Kim

Hernandez and Kaz start things off with the big man throwing Kaz around with ease. Off to Chavo vs. Daniels as the good guys maintain control. Back to SuperMex with a bearhug on Kaz before Daniels tries to cheat. Hernandez will have none of that though and gets Chavo to help with some double teaming. A headscissors puts Daniels down and he begs off. Gail low bridges Chavo and Daniels gets to take over.

Velvet trips Daniels up right back and Chavo gets control again. Kaz hits Chavo in the back before coming in legally for a neckbreaker, getting two. The slingshot elbow drop gets two more on Chavo and it’s off to a chinlock. Now Daniels comes in for a chinlock of his own but Chavo fights up and brings in Velvet. Not the monster Hernandez, but the girl. Good to know.

She spears Gail down as Hernandez runs over Daniels. A missile dropkick puts SuperMex down but Daniels misses a dive onto the floor, hitting his partner in the process. Hernandez does his big dive to take out Bad Influence, but Gail hits Eat Defeat on Sky for the pin at 7:26.

Rating: D+. Gail Kim continues to be as uninteresting as you can possibly be while still being alive. There’s nothing to her and her finisher continues to be stupid. This match was just going through the motions but at least they set up something for Sunday. Always nice to see two feuds combined like this.

Brown says he can trust Aces and 8’s but asks Sting if he can trust the guys he’ll be locked in the cage with.

Sting yells at his teammates for Sunday and apparently Magnus and Joe are the other two people in the best of three series tonight.

We go back to Georgia to find AJ Styles again. He throws one of his friends back into their car and shoves the camera away. Nothing is said.

Doc/Garrett Bischoff vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe

Joe and Garrett start things off with Garrett being pounded down like a guy with nowhere near the skill to be in this spot. Off to Magnus but he stops to argue with Joe first. Garrett distracts Magnus, allowing Doc to take over. Off to Garrett again as the fans tell him that he can’t wrestle. Doc comes in and pounds away as we hear about AJ coming to Chicago next week.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s off to Joe for a suplex and atomic drop. Magnus kicks Doc down and Joe drops a senton backsplash for two. Another clothesline puts Garrett down and it’s off to Joe legally. The former champions catch Doc with the snapmare into the top rope elbow from Magnus for the pin at 4:52.

Kenny King says he’ll keep the title.

Eric Young says he should get the last spot in the match over Storm. He promises to not be a joke, but for once Sting is smart and picks the former world champion.

It’s time for Gut Check for Lei’d Tapa. The fans go INSANE shouting no at her as soon as she comes out. Tapa yells back at the fans and talks about how she could be great in another two years. Danny Davis says no, Bruce Prichard gives a nice speech about Paul Bearer being gone before saying no, and so Tapa gets to cut a quick promo saying she should get a shot. Al Snow is the last judge and after saying he’ll miss Uncle Paul, he votes yes because Tapa gets a reaction from the crowd.

Robbie E is ready for Robbie T this Sunday.

James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson

The winner gets the advantage in Lethal Lockdown for his team. A quick hiptoss puts Anderson down but he comes back with a clothesline. Anderson gets two off a whip into the corner before pounding away at James’ ribs. Off to an armbar now by Anderson as the announcers debate the BFG Series from last year.

Storm fights out with an atomic drop and a bulldog followed by an enziguri out of the corner. A running neckbreaker puts Anderson down and after escaping a neckbreaker, Storm hits Closing Time. Here are Aces and 8’s in full force but here’s Team TNA to counter them. Not that it matters though as Anderson grabs the Mic Check for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D. Another short and pretty worthless match here. At least Aces and 8’s have SOMETHING going for them before Sunday now, but it’s not like it makes them any more intimidating. When they came out as a group at the end, it made me realize how completely lame they are all over again. Bad match here.

We run down the Lockdown card.

Here are Bully and Brooke to confront Jeff Hardy before Sunday. Jeff comes to the ring and Ray talks about how he’s coming for the title in three days at the biggest TNA show ever. He’s proud of Jeff for everything he’s done. Jeff says he’s been beaten down since he won the title but he’s still champion. He knows Ray is going to beat him up on Sunday, but is that going to be enough? Jeff is proud of Ray as well and Ray talks about he’s expected greatness his entire career. Ray isn’t going to escape on Sunday but he’s going to pin Hardy for the title.

This brings out Hulk Hogan on crutches. He talks about how everyone in the back wants to be where Hardy and Ray are before saying this company is about to go on to greatness. We need a leader to get to the future and Hogan is going to be at Lockdown to see who leads us into the future. He says may the best man win…..and here come Aces and 8’s. It’s a big brawl to end the show as Team TNA runs out for the save.

Overall Rating: D. This show actually made me angry. From the STUPID D’Lo Brown bit to the even STUPIDER Gut Check decision (hot chick with an MMA background as Ronda Rousey becomes the face of the UFC and the winner of the match vs. the loser who happens to be Barbarian’s niece. Easy pick right?) to the lack of wrestling to just being lame in general, this was a terrible show. Aces and 8’s need to end like NOW, if nothing else so I don’t have to think about them anymore.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Austin Aries via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

D-Von b. Sting – Big Boot

Gail Kim/Bad Influence b. Velvet Sky/Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero – Eat Defeat to Sky

Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Garrett Bischoff/Doc – Top rope elbow to Doc

Mr. Anderson b. James Storm – Mic Check

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

First D’Lo and now the Gut Check thing.  Let’s recap.
Ivelisse – Smoking hot, has an MMA background which is the hottest sport in the country and Ronda Rousey is arguably the new face of the sport, can move, can wrestle, can talk, has a ton of potential, WWE thought she was good.

Tapa – Can’t do much in the ring, doesn’t look great, but she’s Barbarian’s niece.

The complains write themselves.

I kid you not,D’lo Brown.  I’m literally laughing out loud at how stupid this company is.