This occurred to me earlier today when I was talking about Ziggler in the Rumble.  think about the Smackdown title picture right now.  It’s STACKED.We’ve got the suddenly awesome Del Rio as champion and the following people to challenge him:

Big Show

Ziggler

Orton

Sheamus

Also you could throw in Ryback, Punk and Jericho as potential challengers.  That is a DEEP main event scene.  On Raw we have Rock, Cena and Punk and that’s it.  I’m way more fired up about the WHC right now than the WWE Title.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2013
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

The Rumble is over now and the big stories are Rock winning the title and Cena winning the Rumble, likely setting up a title rematch that I don’t think many people are interested in seeing. Tonight is also Raw Roulette which is a gimmick that this show flat out doesn’t need. We should be getting ready for Wrestlemania but instead we get a night of gimmick matches and lame jokes instead. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vickie who has three roulette wheels behind her. One has superstars, one has stipulations and one has a bunch of HILARIOUS gimmicks on it. First up is Cesaro vs. Orton which gets a special referee.

Here are Punk and Heyman to the ring and they are TICKED. Punk says this is day 435 and he goes on a RANT about how he’s still champion and that he didn’t lose. Ropes are kicked and tiny pieces of hair follicles are probably pulled out. Punk says Rock couldn’t beat him without anyone’s help and that makes the fans cheaters. Vince and Rock are swindlers and Punk is going to crash Rock’s party tonight.

This brings out Vince who has this big goofy grin on his face. Punk calls him every insulting name he can think of but Vince says that he has proof that Heyman was behind the Shield attacks. Heyman: “Sir if I may…” Vince: “YOU MAY NOT!” Vince says he’ll be evaluating Heyman later tonight which might result in his firing. This was a pretty fast ending.

Randy Orton vs. Antonio Cesaro

The guest referee is the Miz, which I said before his music hit. This was obvious because Cesaro pinned Miz clean last night, meaning the feud must continue. Anyway this is joined in progress after a break with Orton getting two off something we didn’t see. Cesaro pounds away in the corner but gets clotheslined down again. A suplex gets two for Orton and we head to the floor where Cesaro’s back is sent into the barricade.

Back in and Orton slingshots Antonio’s throat into the ropes for two. Miz has done nothing of note so far. They trade European uppercuts with Cesaro taking over. Orton comes right back with a BIG backdrop to send Cesaro to the floor as we take another break. Back with Cesaro guillotining Orton on the top rope and heading to the floor for a bit. Back in and there’s a cravate for a bit before Randy charges into a falcon’s arrow for two.

Off to a chinlock but Orton fights out of it with his usual stuff including the powerslam. Cesaro comes back with a jumping back elbow off the middle rope (looked great) for two. He argues with Miz, allowing Orton to hit the backbreaker. Cesaro pokes Orton in the eye and gets in an argument with Miz, allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the pin at 12:45 shown.

Rating: C+. This was decent stuff but we were just waiting on Miz to do something. Like I said though there is no reason for Miz to be involved in this feud anymore. The guy lost clean in the title match last night so why should they still be interacting? The face turn continues to falter and Orton’s heel turn continues to not seem to be anytime soon.

Miz hits Cesaro with the Finale and looks at the Mania sign.

The next spin is by Ryback and he gets to make Vickie laugh. He starts by snorting at her and walking away.

Here’s Ryback to the ring and after a break we see Andre Agassi and Stefi Graf in the audience. The Prime Time Players, Ryback and Matt Striker are in the ring. Apparently this is a joke off. The Players make a joke about Striker’s luck with women that isn’t funny and didn’t make a lot of sense. Ryback asks what has four eyes, twenty fingers, and is about to be unconscious. The beating begins and Young runs away. Striker declares Ryback the winner and gets Shell Shocked too.

Backlund HOF video again.

Wade Barrett gets to pick his opponent tonight.

Wade Barrett vs. Bo Dallas

Dallas eliminated Barrett from the Rumble last and is the rookie from NXT. They fight in the corner a bit but Barrett hits his kick to the ribs to take over. Barrett loads up the Bull Hammer but charges into a belly to belly suplex for the shocking pin at 2:12. There’s Barrett’s first real feud as champion.

Cody Rhodes spins John Cena which is up next.

We hear about Cena being on Fruity Pebbles boxes, replacing Fred Flintstone. As stupid as it sounds, that’s a pretty big deal.

Cody Rhoes vs. John Cena

Cena starts fast with a dropkick and a fisherman’s suplex to send Rhodes to the floor. Cody says this is a waste of his talents and walks away, only for Cena to throw him right back in. The usual finishes for Cena at 1:56.

Cena talks about how some people don’t seem thrilled that he won. There were 30 people in the match last night but he’s the guy that won. Throwing Ryback out to win is the first step towards Wrestlemania, where he can face a champion of his choosing. Cena says this is a difficult step, but first let’s pause to tell Cena he sucks. Apparently it’s going to be either Rock or Punk for some reason. I didn’t hear talk of a rematch. Cena says that he can face Punk again but he’s come up short in six tries to win the title. But I thought Cena never lost anything.

On the other hand is the Rock. Cena talks about talking down about Rock even before Rock returned so that when Rock showed up again, there would be only one possible candidate. Then Cena spent a year feuding with Rock and there were times Cena showed him up completely. Everything was perfect until April 1 when he lost everything he had spent a year doing.

Cena says Rock won and there’s the chant for the champion. He asks which one he should challenge: the guy he has even money to beat or one of the two guys he seemingly never could beat. Cena makes his decision right now: the WWE Champion, whoever that is at Mania. That smells like a three way to me.

Before Cena can leave, cue the Shield to surround the ring. The beating is on, which basically kills the Cena leads the Shield rumors. Sheamus tries to make the save but here’s Ryback for the real save. Six man tag at Elimination Chamber maybe? Either way a big brawl breaks out with Sheamus being posted. Cena tries to fight them off again but gets beaten down. The TripleBomb leaves Cena laying.

Brodus and Tensai are going to have a lingerie pillow fight but Tensai says no way. They spin the other wheel and it’s a dance off but Tensai didn’t see it. COMEDY is coming people!

We see everything WWE did in Phoenix this week.

Time for the dance off but Tensai first takes off a robe to reveal women’s lingerie. Brodus has a heart attack. It’s time for the dance off with Brodus going first. Tensai doesn’t want to dance but Lawler says what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Tensai does some very awkward stuff including Gangam Style and some other outdated stuff. The guy that got to beat Punk and Cena last year everybody. Ron Simmons pops up for his one word. JBL: “I know that guy.”

Del Rio gets a body slam challenge with Big Show.

It’s time for the body slam challenge but Big Show knocks Del Rio out. He tapes the champion up to the rope and destroys Ricardo while Alberto has to watch. This goes on for awhile and is rather awesome with Del Rio being tortured mentally while Ricardo got the physical part. Also the revenge will be SWEET.

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

This is a showgirl lumberjill match. The girls are in showgirl outfits which look good but the lumberjill stuff is played already. This is non-title too. Tamina takes over to start and takes Katilyn down with a chinlock. Kaitlyn is thrown to the floor and beats up I think Aksana in the process. Tamina gets hit by a headdress and Kaitlyn goes after her with some decent aggression. That goes out the window as she puts the hat on Kaitlyn but the girls all come in for the no contest at 2:58. Nothing to see here.

Here’s Rock to address the people. He says that the word to sum up the title win is FINALLY, because it’s been a long journey. Rock has won seven WWE Championships before but this one means more than any. He thanks the people and says the days of CM Punk saying the people mean nothing are over. Rock gets in his usual jabs at Punk and Heyman but here’s the ex-champion.

Punk says that he earned the title unlike rock who had it handed to him. If Rock has any respect at all, he would hand the championship back to Punk right now. Rock says come get it and says Punk can either come get it or stand up there like a coward. Punk comes to the ring but says he’s staying on the stage. He wants a rematch and lists off some places he’ll be this weekend but finally says let’s do it at Elimination Chamber. Also, this is ROCK’s rematch, not Punk’s. Rock says let’s do it.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

This is a tables match because RANDOM! Sheamus seems to be favoring his left arm. Sandow runs to the floor to start and Sheamus is fine with beating him up out there. A table is set up in front of the ramp but Sandow runs away from it. We head to the other side of the ring where Damien finally dropkicks him down to take over. Another table is set up but instead Sheamus just throws it at him. Back in and Sandow takes out the injured (by the Shield) shoulder with a DDT. Apparently it’s Sheamus’ birthday today. Ok then.

Damien brings in another table and kind of Pillmanizes the arm with the table legs. Sheamus comes back with ease but misses a Brogue Kick that would have sent Sandow through a table. Damien charges but gets caught by the slingshot shoulder. Sandow hits him in the arm again and drops the Wind-Up Elbow. Sheamus is thrown ribs first into the side of a table in a painful looking move. Sandow goes up top, only to get shoved down to the apron for the ten forearms. A suplex back in doesn’t work but White Noise through the table in the corner is enough for the win at 7:21.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match here but the tables were more clutter than anything else. That’s the problem with Raw Roulette in general: these gimmicks don’t add anything at all to the matches. If you want Sheamus to beat Sandow with White Noise, you can do that just fine without tables. The match was pretty entertaining but it doesn’t accomplish much of anything.

It’s time for WWE Karaoke with Ryder and Khali and company as the contestants. Khali gets to sing Shawn’s theme song but after nearly crushing Shawn’s entire career, 3MB interrupts. Drew: “Whoa whoa whoooooooooooooa sweet child of mine.” I love Drew McIntyre now. He gets chopped in the head for his efforts and it’s a Rough Ryder for Mahal. The big chop and Tadpole Splash (Horny is part of “and company”) take out Slater.

Here’s Jericho’s latest return to Raw. He welcomes us to Raw is Jericho and thanks all of the Jericholics for watching at home, which is something he’ll neeeeeeeeeeeeeever forget a-gain. This brings out Team Ziggler with the namesake pointing out that Jericho is gone thanks to losing to Dolph six months ago. AJ says that was her idea but Jericho says put a leash on her already.

Langston says Jericho should leave before Big E. ruins the return. Jericho: “What does the E stand for? Your bra size?” Vickie pops up on screen and says she signed Jericho back to Raw and he gets to face Dolph tonight in a Strange Bedfellows match. In other words, they get to team up to fight HELL NO.

HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Chris Jericho

Ziglger and Kane start things off with the unlikely partners bickering as we take a break about 25 seconds into the match. Back with Jericho being tagged in reluctantly, only to take both Kane and the legal Bryan down. The Walls to Bryan can’t work and HELL NO collides. Jericho lets them fight and they start shoving each other. Ziggler tags himself in but Jericho slaps Kane in the back, leaving Ziggler alone in the ring. Chokeslam ends Ziggler at 5:40, over half of which was in commercial.

Here’s Vince to give Heyman his job evaluation. Before Paul comes out, Vince says Punk has been escorted from the building. They shake hands so Vince uses some liquid soap. He asks Heyman if Paul is behind the Shield or Maddox but Paul denies it. Vince asks Heyman if he’s ever lied. Heyman says something Vince’s dad says before saying of course he’s lied every day because promoters have to do that to survive. However, right now he isn’t lying of course.

Vince asks the fans if Heyman has an honest face or if he’s an honest man. The fans chant no so let’s go to the tape that Vince has. It’s of Heyman and Maddox in the dark somewhere with Heyman saying turn the camera off. The audio keeps going though and the cameraman turns it back on. Heyman talks about paying Maddox off to screw Ryback in the Cell and paying the Shield in general. He says he and Punk have been doing it together and the Shield comes up to surround Maddox. Maddox begs and is beaten down anyway as the camera goes out.

Back in the arena and Heyman is panicking. Fans: “YOU GOT BUSTED!” Heyman says that wasn’t him in the video and that Vince knows what it’s like to be falsely accused. Paul says he has a thick New York Jewish accent and it’s easy to impersonate. Heyman goes on a big rant about being falsely accused because of his success and saying that wasn’t him again. Vince says he’s going to have to future endeavor Heyman but LESNAR!

Brock is back (in bright yellow shoes) and circles the ring before getting inside to face Vince. He gets in Vince’s face and they touch noses. Vince says Lesnar shouldn’t do something he’ll regret later. Lesnar keeps telling Heyman to go back to the corner. He nods at Heyman and it’s an F5 for Vince as Heyman screams NO.

Overall Rating: D+. I forgot how annoying Raw Roulette can be. There’s nothing to most of these shows and that was the case here. The gimmicks get in the way of the matches which defeats the purpose. This is very reminiscent of Open Fight Night where the matches are the same ones we could see on any given Raw. Nothing much to see here and the show was a letdown coming off last night’s Raw.  The ending helps a bit but not enough.

Results

Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO

Bo Dallas b. Wade Barrett – Belly to belly suplex

John Cena b. Cody Rhodes – Attitude Adjustment

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina went to a no contest

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – White Noise through a table

HELL NO b. Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

That’s fine by me.  If nothing else she’ll make the class a lot better looking.

Ring Ka King TV
Date: January 28, 2012
Location: Balewadi Sports Complex, Pune, India
Commentators: Siddharth Kanan, Joe Bath

After this, never let it be said that I don’t give the people what they ask for. I’ve gotten a lot of requests from people for this show so why not. This is the TNA related company formed in India. The name means King of the Ring in some Indian language. Odds are this is going to be the only episode I watch of it but if it’s good I might take another look. There are a lot of big named stars over there so let’s get to it.

We open with a musical performance. It’s an Indian performer who has a bunch of dancing girls. I don’t speak whatever language this is so I can’t say anything here. The crowd seems to dig it. I’ve heard there were about 1,500 people here which isn’t bad. The set is similar to Impact’s but in a bigger arena. Apparently this guy’s name is Mika.

After he’s done the ring announcer comes in and thank goodness she speaks English. That’s one of the main reasons I don’t watch puro: I have no idea what’s going on. And never mind as they’re in another language again. I think they’re saying it’s awesome to be here or something like that. She’s shifting between languages. Either that or some of the words are the same. There’s talk of a singles and tag titles and female wrestlers. She introduces the announcers and I have no idea what they’re saying. The fans seem to like them so maybe they’re known.

Now we bring out a guy named Harbhajan Singh, who appears to be a cricket player of some national renown. He’s listed as a Ring Ka King goodwill ambassador. Mika starts a chant of Singh is King or something like that. The singer wishes him good luck and that’s about it. I’m just trying to pick up what I can here. Mika leaves.

Singh talks some more and says something about international wrestling and Ring Ka King. The girls are still at ringside. He sends us to a video of a familiar face: Chavo Guerrero Jr. He talks about being around the world but that he’s never been to India and is here to become Ring Ka King Champion.

Chavo comes to the ring and Singh introduces someone else: Maxx B. He appears to be a boxing/fighting character but I don’t recognize him and he doesn’t speak English. The announcers talk about MMA during’ Maxx’s entrance.

Sir Brutus Magnus says he’ll win the title. He calls himself the International Athlete.

Next up is Doctor Nicholas Dinsmore, who is of course Nick Dinsmore, aka Eugene. I think these are just introductions of wrestlers. Dinsmore comes out in a medical outfit which is a character you don’t really see that often.

Sonjay Dutt has a dollar sign above his name and gets a huge pop due to being from India.

In sixth (they’re just standing in the ring) is Mahabali Veera, a muscular guy who doesn’t speak English either. He appears to be the tallest and most popular guy so far.

Next up is Scott Steiner who talks about his arms and short fuse.

Matt Morgan says he’s 7’0 tall which is still a lie. He’s here to become world champion. Morgan and Steiner came out to their TNA music. Morgan is in street clothes.

Now we move onto the Commissioner, a man named Jazzy Laharia who is with someone named Deadly Danda, who I guess is a bodyguard. I’m assuming Deadly is the guy in the military gear and has what appeared to be a sword. He’s almost as tall as Matt Morgan. Singh talks some more and I think these eight are going to be in a Heavyweight Title Tournament. The belt comes down from the ceiling and pyro goes off. The belt looks like the ECW Silver Title but with a sticker on the middle of it.

We get a quick video of all eight people here and a graphic saying Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament.

Now here’s Jeremy Borash who speaks English and talks to Morgan, who says everyone is honored to be in India. Magnus cuts him off and puts his arms around Dutt and Steiner and says they’re going to take over Ring Ka King. A brawl is started but Deadly Danda breaks it up.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Dr. Nicholas Dinsmore vs. Mahabali Veera

We’re about 25 minutes into the show not counting commercials and here’s the first match. And no I’m not holding that against them as it’s the debut episode. Dinsmore is basically the heel by default here. He cheats a top wristlock by pulling the hair to bring him down. Dinsmore sends him to the floor but Veera gets a sunset flip for two. Veera has a good look to him and moves well for a bigger (as in taller) guy. The referee is in a green shirt. Off to a chinlock by Dinsmore but Veera hits a spinebuster (called the Veera Bomb) for the pin at 2:59. Short but fine.

Magnus is on the phone in the back to his boss and talks about how he, Dutt and Steiner (all in the room) have three of the eight spots in the tournament and are going to dominate both it and Ring Ka King. It’s Magnus vs. Morgan in the first round.

Someone called Shera brings out American Adonis, who is more known as Chris Masters. He does the same entrance that he did as the Masterpiece. He’s a lot bigger than he used to be too so I guess the roids are rolling again. Masters says he’s here to prove that no one can break his Adonis Lock. Back to the old classics I guess. He’s put up a lock of Indian Rupees (whatever that means. A lock I mean. I know what Rupees are) to anyone that wants to try it. There’s a briefcase in there so I’m assuming it has the money in it.

A plant accepts the challenge and we get a referee and the chair. The guy is named Zed. What kind of a name is Zed? He’s from Pune and gets thrown all over the place in the full nelson. And he’s out cold in about 10 seconds.

Veera says something which I’d assume means he’ll win. Singh comes in and shakes his hand. Morgan comes up to shake his hand and says he hopes to see Veera in the finals.

Next week (I think) it’s Steiner vs. Maxx B and Chavo vs. Dutt in the tournament.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Sir Brutus Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Magnus runs to the corner to start. Morgan gets his hands on him and throws him around with ease. Magnus gets sent to the floor and it’s time for a chase scene. Morgan misses a corner splash and Magnus takes over. A slam attempt fails as Morgan falls onto him for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by Magnus which Morgan easily escapes and starts his comeback. He beats Magnus up and hits a chokeslam, followed by the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D. This was a really basic and boring power match. I’ve seen far worse but there really isn’t anything going on here. Morgan looks like a force though which is the point of this. Not terrible but if Magnus is supposed to be the top heel in the company or at least the mouthpiece for it (no sign of him being a coward yet) shouldn’t he be treated as something better than a jobber to the stars like he was here?

Dutt and Steiner come in for an attempted beatdown but Veera makes the save. A tag team staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As a wrestling show it was boring but for a show designed to introduce us to the product, I can’t really complain much here. They set up the tournament and we have a top heel group already. Veera looks like a star (although we didn’t get to see much of him in the ring) and Morgan is his usual self. I probably won’t watch this again but it wasn’t that bad at all. The production values were very good and definitely at the same levels as Impact. Great debut and if you’re not familiar with these guys, it’s a great show. It’s probably not for fans that know the talent, though it’s worth a look.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Last night was a good example of this.Something that I’ve mentioned before is how nostalgic characters are supposed to be used today.  The problem with having guys like Roddy and Dusty and Slaughter doing nostalgia appearances is that they’ve been nostalgic for such a long period of time that the impact is gone.  They’re stars of the 80s, not the 90s.

Last night on the other hand, we saw guys like Goldust, Godfather and the year before that we had the Outlaws in the Rumble.  This is pure nostalgia for people that grew up in the 90s and are a bit bored by modern wrestling at the moment.  Geez if you consider Rock much more than a nostalgia character at this point you’re missing the point.  WWE is FINALLY catering to the 90s fans whose wallets they built the Attitude Era on.  It’s fine to bring out the 80s guys every once in awhile, but mix it up with the 90s every now and then.

Coming into the Rumble, Ziggler was a big topic of conversation but last night not much happened.Ziggler had talked about cashing in MITB but he didn’t.  He talked about winning the Royal Rumble but he didn’t.  He’s been losing a good deal of his matches recently and while he’s certainly impressive with some of his matches, he hasn’t really won anything other than at TLC where he was defending what he already had.  Other than that, Ziggler hasn’t really accomplished much lately.  He has until July to cash in his case and as usual it seems like a matter of time before he does it.

I’m not sure what they’re doing at the moment because they’ve kind of booked themselves into a corner.  With Del Rio getting over very well as a face, that gives a minimum of four people who could be in the world title match at Wrestlemania: Orton, Ziggler, Sheamus and Del Rio.  Odds are it won’t be Ziggler in the title match but it’s clear that he’s going to have a top level match.  I’m thinking he gets put with Del Rio, although not for the title.  There’s always a chance he’ll cash in before Mania, perhaps after the Chamber.

Either way, Smackdown is pretty awesome at the moment with their title picture.

The Rumble was last night and there’s a LOT to talk about so expect a lot of posts from me today about various topics from the show.

One of the major things that happened last night was CM Punk’s 434 day world title reign came to an end.  The common response to this (mine included) is that the ending to Rock vs. Punk could have been better.  Let’s take a quick look at why and some other things about the title reign.First of all the problem I had with the ending wasn’t about the People’s Elbow but rather the spinebuster that set it up.  Rock had been talking about hitting the Rock Bottom and dedicated an entire promo to the idea.  The Elbow itself is fine for Rock to finish with as he beat Hogan with it plus multiple other legends.  It’s a finishing move for Rock so it’s not a huge deal at all.

As for Punk losing, you knew it was going to happen at some point.  It had to.  I mean, the guy had been champion since the November before last.  It doesn’t make Punk’s title reign a joke, it doesn’t make Punk look weak and it doesn’t do anything bad to him.  Everyone loses their title at some point, from Bruno getting pinned by Ivan Koloff to Hogan getting cheated by the Hebners.  Punk had to lose at some point and he was pinned at a Big Four show by the third biggest star in the history of wrestling.  That’s hardly getting surprised by a rollup by Primo.

Finally, where does Punk’s title reign rank all time?  The main problem for Punk’s reign is that almost everyone knew that he was losing the title to Rock at the Rumble for well over six months now.  That made nearly half of his reign feel like a formality than a championship reign that could go on forever.  That being said, it was still amazing to see in this day and age, especially given the people he was retaining against.  It doesn’t come off as one of the greatest reigns ever due to feeling like a transitional reign, but it’s going to be the longest we see for a VERY long time.  That’s something Punk can certainly be proud of.  How he didn’t win Wrestler of the Year from everyone is beyond me.

Source

Now keep in mind these are the same sites that said Benjamin, Carlito and others were LOCKS, yes LOCKS I SAY for the Rumble.  If this is the case though, things change a good bit as now they can stagger his feuds out a bit more.  This has to be a relief for WWE if nothing else.

Thoughts?

Royal Rumble 2013
Date: January 27, 2013
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

As the tag line for the show says, FINALLY we’re here. The main events tonight are Punk defending against The Rock and of course the Rumble itself. The shows have been rather awesome lately so hopefully they can keep things going tonight. Hopefully things don’t change that much between tonight and Wrestlemania but odds are they will. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro is defending and this is mainly happening because of Ric Flair, as Flair was on Miz’s talk show and Cesaro interrupted. Flair “gave” Miz the Figure Four and apparently that’s Miz’s big weapon here tonight. A fast rollup gets one for Miz but Cesaro grabs a headlock to slow things down. Miz comes back with a back elbow for two and hooks a headlock on his own on the mat.

Miz hits the rope and charges into a kind of tilt-a-whirl powerslam to shift momentum again. Off to a bow and arrow hold by the champion which doesn’t last long. A sitout slam gets two for Cesaro and a European uppercut keeps Miz down. There’s the gutwrench suplex for two and Cesaro pounds away in the corner. Miz charges into a kind of Irish Curse for two and a jumping double stomp keeps him in trouble.

Cesaro hooks a double arm lock which is quickly broken, allowing Miz to hit the Reality Check for no cover. Miz pounds away in the corner and hits the running clothesline but the ax handle misses. He may have injured his knee on the landing. They trade rollups for two each and Miz goes after the knee. The Figure Four is easily blocked so Miz kicks him to the floor instead. Cesaro lures Miz in and sends him into a piece of metal under the ring, setting up the Neutralizer to retain at 7:40.

Rating: C-. This was your basic Raw match which is to say nothing special. Miz is floundering right now and this stupid Figure Four stuff is making it even worse. He needs a big moment to really hammer in the change but more than that he’s still the same guy he’s been for years. I actually like his in ring stuff, but he needs to stick with the Finale and be a bit nicer about things. It would help a lot.

On with the show!

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

Last man standing with Del Rio defending. After Big Show’s entrance, we cut to the back where Alberto and Ricardo are getting ready. Bret Hart of all people pops up and says that he’s proud of Alberto. Hart sees Del Rio as a Mexican Bret Hart while Del Rio sees Hart as a Canadian Del Rio. Ricardo says he’s a big fan so Bret gives him some sunglasses. I have no idea what the point of this cameo was but it wasn’t bad.

Show chops him into the corner to start and gets seven off a series of shows to the chest. He loads up that reverse powerbomb of his but gets caught in a hurricanrana to put him down. A top rope seated senton takes Big Show down again but the armbreaker is easily countered into something resembling a one armed Angle Slam.

Show heads to the floor to grab a chair but Alberto dropkicks the knee out and cracks the chair over Show’s back a few times. Then he pounds it into the ribs even more but another huge show is deflected and Show hits a chokeslam for an eight. Del Rio rolls to the floor where Show slams him down onto the floor. Alberto kicks him low and superkicks him to get a nine count.

The Big Bald kind of swats Alberto into the floor before throwing him into a piece of the set. Show misses a superkick into said piece of the set so he whacks Del Rio in the back with a light bulb that doesn’t break. Instead Big Show loads up a table in front of that piece of the set. Show climbs onto the set and pulls Del Rio up onto it with him with one arm. A hip toss/chokeslam through the table (it wasn’t a huge fall) gets nine and Show is ticked off. They head back to the ring but Del Rio heads to the floor to hide from the KO punch. Show follows him out and loads up the steps but can’t hit the champion.

Ricardo tries to jump Big Show but gets thrown into the barricade for his efforts. Show misses a spear and crashes through the barricade for a close nine count. Alberto hits a bunch of chair shots to the back and hits a kind of Conchairto on the shoulder using the steps. Then he sprays Show with a fire extinguisher as Show staggers back inside. Is that really going to keep him down? Back in and the cross armbreaker goes on as Ricardo uses duct tape to tie Show’s legs to the ropes ala Cena vs. Batista. Alberto lets go of the hold and wins the match at 17:00.

Rating: B. Good match here but not as fun or special as their first match. I don’t think most people thought Show was getting the title back here so they had a big mountain to get over. Still though, they did a good job of beating each other up here to set up a kind of goofy ending. I’m not wild on Del Rio having to use something clever to beat Show when he had already beaten him using force before. Still though, solid stuff here.

Striker is with Ziggler, AJ and Langston in the back. Ziggler is going to enter at #1 because he can. Matt says that’s hard to do (remember that Ziggler had to pick #1 or #2, and there’s such a HUGE difference between 1 and 2) so AJ gets in his face. Langston then cracks me up by going into an impersonation of a stereotypical nerdy news reporter asking Ziggler on his thoughts on his chances. Ziggler says he’ll win both titles at Mania. That was awesome by Langston. The others, not so much.

We get a medley of promos from people in the Rumble ala the old days.

Cesaro says he’ll win because he’s foreign.

Young and Titus do their thing.

Orton says he’s winning because he’s awesome.

Cena says what you would expect him to say.

Barrett says he’ll be the first Intercontinental Champion to win the Rumble.

Sheamus says he can win his second in a row because of the Brogue Kick.

Ryback says he isn’t a predator and he doesn’t eat Fruity Pebbles. Just feed him more. He might not be so hungry if he ate Fruity Pebbles.

Tag Titles: Rhodes Scholars vs. HELL NO

The Scholars are getting what is probably their 95^th title shot in a few weeks. Bryan and Rhodes start things off with Cody having a leap frog countered into a surfboard. Off to Kane as JBL goes into a mini rant on Dr. Shelby. Kane fights out of the heel corner and slams the now legal Sandow. Bryan comes back in to fire off the kicks as JBL goes off about the hugging on Raw.

Kane kicks Sandow through the ropes and Cody is thrown on top of him. Bryan hits a suicide dive (JBL: “THE FLYING GOAT VEGAN!”) to take out both challengers and the fans seem fired up. Back in and Cody gets in a few shots to take over with a half Boston crab as the announcers talk about 1980s TV. Sandow comes in for the Wind-Up Elbow and some stomping for two. Cody comes back in and gets kicked in the face to take him down. Sandow blocks the hot tag though and brings Cody right back in.

Rhodes hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker for a bit but once the hold is released, Bryan hits a running DDT to take Cody down. Kane finally gets the tag (no reaction) and house is cleaned with Sandow taking a side slam for two. Kane loads up the top rope clothesline (JBL: “That’s a flying taker.”) but Sandow breaks it up. A kind of running swinging neckbreaker gets two for Damien but Cody comes in for a double suplex. Bryan makes a blind tag at the same time though and it’s a chokeslam for Cody and the NO Lock for Sandow for the tap out at 9:30.

Rating: C. Average tag match here, but the booking was pretty dull. To clarify, the Scholars lost every match leading up to the title match, then lost the title match? Well you can’t say one thing doesn’t lead to another I guess. Then again, I would have avoided having the Scholars lose EVERY SINGLE TIME they fought the champions but why would you want to add drama?

Rumble by the Numbers.

Vickie gives HELL NO their numbers for the Rumble. Kane sees Bryan’s and says interesting. Bryan wants to see Kane’s and jokes ensue. Ron Simmons unfortunately doesn’t show up.

We recap Fan Fest which had the NXT tournament.

Royal Rumble

This is earlier than I was expecting. 90 second intervals and Ziggler is #1. He says he’s going to be here at the beginning and at the end. Ziggler doesn’t care who #2 is so he doesn’t mind when……CHRIS JERICHO is #2??? Jericho has a big tattoo on his left arm now and if you remember correctly, Ziggler got Jericho fired last year. Ziggy throws him to the apron but Jericho comes back with a top rope forearm to the head. Jericho clotheslines him to the apron but Ziggler gets right back in. Cody Rhodes is #3 and the double teaming begins.

Ziggler gets knocked down and Cody is put in the Walls, only to be quickly broken up (or down?) by Dolph. Kofi is #4 and Dolph has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Cody and Jericho both try to dump Kofi to no avail and we enter into the lame brawling section. Santino is #5 and throws Cody and Jericho to the apron but no further. The Cobra takes Kofi down but Ziggler superkicks Santino out. The heels double team Kofi but can’t put him out.

Drew McIntyre is #6 and more heel alliances form. Jericho BARELY survives being thrown out by dangling until Titus O’Neal is #7. He picks up Kofi and does the Millions of Dollars dance before hitting him with a backbreaker. McIntyre is sent to the apron and kicked out by Jericho. Ziggler is sent upside down on the ropes but hangs on at the last second. The fans chant for Jericho as Goldust returns at #8.

Goldie goes right for Cody to a big pop and there’s the kneeling uppercut. Cody hangs on to avoid elimination as the fans cheer for Goldust. Otunga is #9 as the ring is getting too full. JBL goes into a weird series of insults to Lawler about how Cole kept beating him which goes nowhere. Heath Slater is #10 as we need someone to come in here and clean some people out. Jericho puts Ziggler onto the apron again but can’t get him out.

Sheamus is #11 and after a bunch of forearms he dumps Titus and Otunga. Slater tries to jump Sheamus resulting in a big heel beatdown. Tensai is #12, giving us Ziggler, Jericho, Rhodes, Slater, Goldust, Kofi, Sheamus and Tensai. Cole talks about Jake Roberts being the first person to eliminate someone in 1998 (you read that right) as people keep fighting by the ropes. Brodus Clay is #13 complete with the Funkadactyls who are rocking some shorts.

There are way too many guys in there at the moment as Goldust sends Rhodes to the apron. Cody pulls his brother to the apron and slides back in where he whips Goldust into the post to eliminate him. Cool sequence there. Rey Mysterio returns (kind of) at #14 in a weird looking low cut singlet. He hits a few 619s and the top rope splash on Jericho but has to fight off Rhodes.

Darren Young is #15 and joins a group of guys to eliminate Brodys. Kofi low bridges Tensai for an elimination. Ziggler knocks Kofi off the apron where he lands on Tensai’s back and is dropped onto the announce table. Kofi teases jumping off the announce table to the ring as the camera stops focusing on the match at all. He asks for JBL’s chair as Bo Dallas is #16. Kofi hops with the chair to get back to the apron and gets back in. Ok, last year it was a cool idea but this took like a minute to work which makes it WAY too much.

Kofi dumps Darren (who looked to injure his knee on the landing) but gets Disaster Kicked out by Cody. Godfather returns at #17 and is dropkicked out in two seconds by Ziggler. Gee I’m so glad they wasted this spot on him. We’ve got Ziggler, Jericho, Rhodes, Sheamus, Dallas, Mysterio, Slater and now Barrett at #18. Barrett and Jericho try to put Sheamus out but Mysterio breaks it up for no apparent reason.

Cody and Barrett are the only ones on their feet as Cena is #19. All of the heels stare him down and it’s a dog pile as he gets into the ring. There goes Slater (immediately checked on by referees) and Rhodes as well but Jericho blocks an AA attempt. Dallas goes after Cena so points to him for trying. Sandow is #20 and Rey tries to rana Barrett to the floor, only to get kicked to the floor. Sheamus goes after Barrett because that’s the law anymore.

Jericho busts out the Walls on Cena but can’t quite hook them. Now he gets them on as Daniel Bryan is #21. There are the kicks for Ziggler and some for Barrett as well. Daniel is the only one on his feet at the moment but he and Sheamus can’t put Jericho out. We get dueling Cena chants as Cesaro is #22. Nothing of note happens so Khali is #23. This is his 7^th Rumble which is really surprising. WAY too many people in there again.

Ziggler hits a kind of stunner on Cena as Cesaro tries to put Sheamus out. Kane is #24 and sends Ziggler to the apron for about the 17^th time. More people lay around until Zack Ryder is #25. There’s a Rough Ryder for Dolph and Kane dumps Khali. Bryan dumps Kane but Cesaro knocks Bryan right into Kane’s arms. Kane isn’t sure what to do but eventually he drops Bryan to the floor, more or less turning him heel for one night only.

Orton is #26 and fires off a bunch of clotheslines and a powerslam for Ziggler. Bo Dallas manages to stay in, only to be caught in a double Elevated DDT at the same time as Ziggler. Ryder eats and RKO and is gone. Jinder Mahal gets lucky #27 as we now have ten guys in there at once. Cena dumps Cesaro and slingshots Ziggler to the apron but can’t put him out. The Miz is #28 and gets in a fight with Cesaro in the aisle. Apparently Miz has a bad ankle from the pre show match and is limping a bit.

Sheamus knocks Mahal out and Miz hits the Reality Check on Cena. Sin Cara gets #29 and totally misses a kick to Ziggler’s head as he comes in. Sheamus puts Cena on the apron as Bo Dallas pulls Wade Barrett out in a big surprise. Miz and Jericho fight on the apron as Barrett pulls Dallas out of the match. There’s Dallas’ first feud I guess. The Bull Hammer lays Dallas out as well. Ryback gets #30, giving us WAY too many people for me to list at the moment.

Ryback dumps Sandow and Sin Cara and glares at Miz for trying to toss him. There goes Miz and we’re down to six: Jericho, Ziggler, Cena, Sheamus, Orton and Ryback. Jericho fires things up and dropkicks Sheamus to the apron but poses too much and gets superkicked out by Dolph. Orton and Sheamus go at it which is probably a title match at Mania. Ryback goes shoulder first into the post and walks into an RKO as does Cena. RKO to Sheamus and an Elevated DDT to Ryback but there’s no one on their feet to eliminate.

Ryback counters an RKO and clotheslines Orton out. The Brogue Kick knocks out Ziggler at roughly 50 minutes and we’re down to three. It’s Cena, Sheamus and Ryback left and Ryback gets double teamed. Now the two superheroes look at the sign and slug it out. Cena fires off his finishing sequence by Ryback breaks up the Shuffle with a Meathook. Sheamus escapes Shell Shock and hits White Noise on Ryback. The pale one loads up the Brogue Kick but gets dumped out by Ryback.

So we’re down to Cena vs. Ryback and after a catchphrase battle, Cena walks into a spinebuster. There’s the STF to Ryback and the bald one passes out. Cena tries to pick him up but Ryback is dead weight. Cena is fine with that though and sits Ryback on the top, only to get caught in a kind of Thesz Press off the top. Ryback puts him in a kind of powerslam position but Cena escapes and throws him out to win at 54:50.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen worse but this wasn’t the best Rumble or even close to it. The first part was pretty dull stuff after Jericho returned and after that it didn’t pick up for a good while. Cena winning was kind of predictable but that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice. I’m really not wild on him facing either Rock or Punk, but maybe he’ll go after the World Heavyweight Championship. Well not likely as that title doesn’t exist at Mania time but it was worth a try.

We recap Rock vs. Punk which means the Divas Title match got scrapped. That’s likely a good idea. Anyway you should know this by now: Punk doesn’t like Rock because he thinks Rock has too much handed to him while Rock got this shot because he won a match nine months ago. The main idea here is that Shield might interfere against Punk’s wishes but if they do, Rock gets the title.

Rock goes on a rant about not getting drafted into the NFL which turns into a longer rant about adversity and his mom having cancer. Oh she’s here tonight. That’s a relief. Anyway, Rock talks about Punk saying the fans don’t count but insists they do. He reaches out his hand ala Dusty Rhodes in Hard Times (look it up) and says tonight he and the fans are one. Good ending to an oddly started promo.

Raw World Title: The Rock vs. CM Punk

Shield attacked Rock on Monday so he has some bad ribs. Rock wins a fast slugout but can’t hit the Rock Bottom. Punk gets knocked to the floor but gets in a shot to Rocky to slow him up. The champ (Punk) loads up the Spanish announce table….and then puts it right back where he found it. Well at least Mama Punk taught him well. Rock sends Punk into the barricade so Heyman hits him in the back. Heyman: “MOMMY!” CM comes back and messes with the table again before we head back inside.

Punk hooks a bodyscissors to slow things down and knees Rock in the stomach for two. Off to something like the cousin of the Anaconda Vice before Rock comes back with some right hands. Punk will have none of that as he leg lariats Rock right back down. Rock gets draped over the top rope as we get a dueling catchphrase chant (Knees 2 Faces and Rock’s version of the same line).

Punk fires off a kick to send Rock to the floor but he might have hurt his knee in the process. He goes up top and hits a forearm to the head but hurts his knee again in the process. The suicide dive keeps Rock down as they seem to be in second gear or so here. Back in and Punk misses the springboard clothesline so Rock goes after the bad knee for the first time. Both finishers are blocked as is the Sharpshooter but Punk counters into the Vice.

In a smart move, Rock rolls over into a cover so Punk has to leg go to escape. A DDT puts Punk down for no cover but Punk rolls through the Rock Bottom. Now the Sharpshooter is hooked but Punk finally makes a rope. Rock loads up the announce table but doesn’t set it back like Punk did. If nothing else, Punk wins the manners battle. Punk gets placed on the table but escapes with a kick to the face. A GTS is countered into the Rock Bottom but the table collapses underneath them. Rock is holding his knee but pulls off a Rock Bottom on the floor, presumably to buy some time.

That gets two back inside and Rock’s knee seems ok. That’s a good sign. Rock picks Punk up but gets caught by the high kick to put both guys down. A slugout goes to the Great One and there’s the flying clothesline to set up the spinebuster. Rock loads up the People’s Elbow….and there go the lights.

We can hear something happening at the announce table and flashes of light show the Shield. Rock is put through the announce table but the referee didn’t see it so the match doesn’t end. DOES VINCE NOT WATCH THESE SHOWS??? Punk is all like “oh dear what an unfortunate turn of events.” He insists he has nothing to do with the Shield and rolls Rock back in….for the pin at 21:30.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but they didn’t hit their stride until the middle of the match. The Shield stuff is pretty stupid if it stands as Vince isn’t stupid enough (kayfabe of course) to let it go. Rock looked like his usual self but this was nowhere near as good as Cena vs. Rock at Wrestlemania. It’s good, but it’s not great.

Thankfully Vince comes out and says not so fast my friend. He says that he saw the Shield so as Chairman he has to….be cut off by Rock. Rock says Vince doesn’t take the title from Punk because that’s what Rock is here for. He wants the match restarted and Vince says do it. Punk immediately stomps Rock down in the corner and hits the running knee. There’s the Macho Elbow for two more as the fans are getting into this. The GTS is escaped and there’s the People’s Elbow for the pin and the title at 26:47. There was only about two minutes of extra stuff so the old rating stays, but MAN that was a fast ending for Punk’s reign.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a pretty awesome show but the ending was kind of sketchy. Anyway, Rock vs. Cena II is set up, presumably with Punk getting his rematch next month. I’m not wild on the way Punk lost the title as it wasn’t even to the Rock Bottom. I mean, if he can spinebust Punk can’t he hit the Rock Bottom? Either way, good stuff here and I can’t say I’m complaining about Rock winning the title again. Very good but not excellent show here.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show – Big Show couldn’t answer the ten count

HELL NO b. Rhodes Scholars – NO Lock

John Cena won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Ryback

The Rock b. CM Punk – People’s Elbow

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

In a terrible joke, just like the name before the fold,you can’t see him.  Cena won, last tossing out Ryback.