Impact Wrestling
Date: November 21, 2013
Location: Impact zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Usually I start each NXT review by saying Welcome Home but it’s more appropriate in this case. Tonight is the Turning Point special as we return to the Impact Zone in Orlando. The focus tonight is on the tournament with two tournament matches, but we also get Bully Ray vs. Anderson, with the future of aces and 8’s on the line. Let’s get to it.

We open with an Impact365 video of Roode attacking Storm at a bar last night.

We get an opening video recapping both the tournament matches as well as Anderson vs. Ray.

Dixie comes up to Joe in the back and says she’s been watching last week’s show and threatens to fire Joe if he ever takes the same tone that he did last week.

Here’s Dixie to open the show. She plugs an article about her in Sports Illustrated before talking about the disdain she feels for AJ Styles. He’s taken her intellectual property and misrepresented it around the world. There are lawyers around the world ready to shut him down but here’s James Storm for an interruption. Storm says he wants some revenge on Roode but doesn’t think the bullrope he has is going to do enough damage.

He wants to use chairs (Dixie: “No.”), tables (“No!”) and the old woman’s dentures if he can get them out of his mouth. Storm wants it to be a Florida death match but Dixie says the Wheel has spoken. James says that’s cool, because he can call the police and change his minds about filing charges and drop out of the tournament. Dixie still says no, so Storm asks all politely and gets what he wants.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

Falls count anywhere. Joe pops upon the screen and says he wants to start the fight in the back. Magnus heads backstage and we take a break. This is joined in progress in the back with Joe throwing Magnus through various objects. Apparently that was a replay and we cut back to the stage with Magnus getting two off an elbow drop. They head to ringside with Joe taking over via some right hands before taking Magnus down with a running boot to the face.

Magnus avoids the backsplash though and peppers Joe with forearms and uppercuts. Joe snaps off the powerslam for two but walks into the Michinoku Driver. Magnus loads up the top rope elbow but Joe stops him with a chop. A superplex is blocked and Magnus knees him in the chest to put Joe on the mat. Now the top rope elbow connects for two but Joe kicks away from the Kingsley Cloverleaf. The Rock Bottom out of the corner puts Magnus down on the floor and the suicide elbow takes Magnus out again for two.

The Brit sends Joe into the barricade and pulls out a chair which he wedges between the bottom and middle rope. Joe reverses a whip into the chair and hooks the Koquina Clutch but Magnus rams him back first into the apron. Magnus ducks a charging Samoan to send Joe head first into the chair for the pin at 7:11.

Rating: D+. There were some decent moments in this but for the most part the stipulation meant nothing at all. That ending could have happened just as easily in the ring and the backstage brawl part was nothing special. This would have been much better as a regular match or a No DQ match but it wasn’t horrible.

Here’s Bad Influence to watch the Joseph Park vs. Abyss match.

Joseph Park vs. Abyss

Park says he’s here to face his brother for the first time only, meaning that this is his turning point. Naturally there’s no Abyss, so Bad Influence says Park isn’t a good story of someone coming up from the bottom. He’s a jar of mayonnaise with a law degree and a cheap track suit.

The reason Park’s mom Bernice, his dad Alfredo and his great great grandfather Jurassic aren’t here tonight is because he’s such an embarrassment. Daniels asks if Park wants to fight but thinks we need blood first. Kazarian pours a bucket of red liquid over Park and Daniels asks where Abyss is. Daniels demands that a loser like Park get out of the ring right now and Park walks away very sad.

Gail Kim vs. Candice Larea

Candice is another newcomer and is a good looking blonde. Gail runs her over to start and gets two off a running dropkick in the corner. Larea comes back with a headscissors and a sunset flip before awkwardly running into the corner. Kim forearms her a lot and catches a hurricanrana in a sitout powerbomb for two. Eat Defeat is enough for the pin on Candice at 1:52.

AJ Styles video from his time in Japan.

Anderson promises that Aces and 8’s are done tonight.

Gunner gives Storm a pep talk before his match.

We recap Storm vs. Roode. They were partners for years until Roode turned heel on Storm to win the title. A long running feud and series of matches followed.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Florida death match, meaning last man standing. Storm doesn’t want to wait and charge sup the ramp to pound on Bobby with a Singapore cane. Roode makes a quick comeback but gets sent into the steps to stop it cold. They head inside with Storm throwing in a garbage can fill of weapons. Storm hits the corner enziguri but his running neckbreaker is countered with a piece of steel to the head.

Storm comes back by driving the trash can between Roode’s legs and trying a middle rope sunset flip, only to have Roode roll through and kick him in the chest. A catapult into the corner is blocked though and Storm hits a trashcan to Roode’s head twice in a row. Roode is up at 9 but is immediately lifted into the Eye of the Storm which Roode counters into a spinebuster onto the trashcan.

They pound on each other with trashcan lids and both guys go down for a seven count. Roode has a crutch but walks into the Last Call and rolls to the floor. He finds a beer bottle on the floor and smashes Storm in the head but James gets up at nine. Roode clotheslines him down again and hits an Attitude Adjustment through two chairs but Storm is up at nine. Bobby is ticked so he goes under the ring and finds a barbed wire board, which I guess is there just in case a Florida death match broke out. Roode loads up another AA but Gunner comes out to throw in the towel and end the match at 12:00.

Rating: C+. The match was better than a bullrope match would have been but the ending was much more about setting up a future program than the match itself. On top of that, Storm loses in ANOTHER big match which does nothing to help his reputation as a choker. Still though, fun brawl.

Post break Gunner pleads his case but Storm is still furious.

Here are the updated brackets:

Hardy

Roode

Angle

Magnus

Your time wasting segment of the week is a look at Samuel Shaw’s apartment and his artwork. The segment finishes filming and Shaw asks Christy out. She says yes and gives her his number before leaving. Shaw makes sure to straighten the notepad and pens she moved. Apparently he’s OCD.

Ethan Carter III has brought his personal jobbers here again but isn’t facing them again because there’s no challenge. Instead he’s facing a TNA legend.

Ray talks about taking care of Anderson tonight. TNA turned their backs on Anderson a year ago, but after Ray ends his career, he’ll make sure to take care of Anderson’s pregnant wife.

Angle is cutting a promo on Magnus when Dixie Carter summons him to her office.

Ethan Carter III vs. Shark Boy

Shark Boy had announced he was coming back tonight on Impact365 earlier this week. Carter bails to the floor for a chase but still avoids an elbow as they get back inside. The Chummer is countered with ease and the One Percenter is good for the pin at 2:06.

We recap Anderson vs. Ray which stemmed from Ray using the club as a way to get himself over and Anderson not being cool with it. Anderson cost Ray a match against Sting and the Bound For Glory rematch against AJ Styles.

Dixie tells Roode and Angle that they’er going to captain teams in an eight man elimination tag match next week.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

No DQ and it’s career vs. Aces and 8’s. Anderson is in long tights for the first time I can ever remember. The roster comes out to watch the match from the stage. Anderson jumps Ray during big match intros and hits him low while shouting his name a lot. They head to the floor with Ray ramming him into the steps but stopping to breathe a bit. Ray pulls out a table and we take our last break. Back with Anderson being suplexed into the ring and chopped loudly in the corner. There’s a table set up in the corner as well.

Ray takes off the chain to whip Anderson even more but Anderson takes the chain away and gets in a few whips of his own. Anderson loads up a big chained fist but gets sent to the floor instead. Ray pulls back the mats but Anderson backdrops Ray onto the concrete instead.

Knux saves Ray from being piledriven on the concrete but gets piledriven down onto the mats for his efforts. Back inside and Anderson hits the rolling senton but Ray fights out of the Mic Check. A spear puts Anderson through the table in the corner but it’s only good for two. Tazz hands Brooke the hammer but Anderson intercepts it and blasts Ray in the head. The Mic Check ends Aces and 8’s at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here but Aces and 8’s hasn’t meant anything in months so this isn’t the biggest deal in the world. I’m glad they’re gone for good and it’s a good feather in the cap for Anderson, but this is hardly some huge moment that changes wrestling forever. Fun match though.

Anderson gets Ray and Tazz’s cuts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Most of the matches were good but this didn’t feel like anything major at all. The ending was so far overdue that it doesn’t even feel like a big deal anymore, but at least it finally happened. As for everything else…..nothing significant really happened. Two first round tournament matches don’t feel like anything major to me but at least the wrestling was good for the most part. Not a horrible or even bad show, but it’s nothing you need to see at all.

Results

Magnus b. Samoa Joe – Joe rammed his head into a chair

Gail Kim b. Candice Larea – Eat Defeat

Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Gunner threw in the towel

Ethan Carter III b. Shark Boy – One Percenter

Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

It’s off their website but still not bad.http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/more/news/20131121/dixie-carter-tna-wrestling/

NXT
Date: November 20, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, William Regal, Alex Riley

It’s the start of a new taping cycle tonight so we should be in for a much fresher show. The main story tonight is the return of Bo Dallas who has been on an international tour for the last few weeks. The question now is who challenges him for the NXT Title after he’s pretty much done everything he can with Sami Zayn. Let’s get to it.

Welcome Home. Appropriate theme for the week.

Here’s Bo to open things up with balloons and streamers falling. Bo is even wearing a party hat and has that goofy grin on his face. He says there’s no place like home and says that everyone who has been reading the Bo Dallas newsletter, they know everyone loves Bo. The fans chant what sounds like Pocahontas before breaking into the standard NO chant.

Bo wishes everyone could be here but he has a slide show for us. The slides show him posing in various places such as Montreal, Cambodia (where he sports entertained in front of a crowd of over 300,000 people), Lichtenstein (where he hugged a diseased man, healing him by 50%), Delaware and Portland. Then he went to Transylvania where they offered him cookies. Since all of the Bo-Lievers here are his friends, everyone here is getting a cookie! There are attendants actually passing them out until JBL interrupts.

The interim GM says the company is proud of Bo for being a wonderful international ambassador. Just like Randy Orton is with WWE, Bo is the face of NXT. This brings out Sami Zayn to a big pop and an Ole chant. Bo: “Hey Sami. Did you come to get a cookie?” Sami says no but he’s glad to see both JBL and Bo here in the same ring. Zayn just wants to be reinstated so he can take the NXT Title, but JBL disagrees with Ricky Bobby.

The fans chant cheeseball at JBL, so he threatens to suspend the entire audience. Sami is reinstated and Bo isn’t pleased. Zayn says he’ll start from the ground up, but next time he’s in the ring with Dallas, he’s taking the title. JBL announces a Beat the Clock challenge with the winner getting the next title shot with Zayn as one of the competitors. For those of you unfamiliar, a Beat the Clock challenge consists of a series of matches and whoever can win their match fastest wins.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Colin Cassady vs. Alexander Rusev

Rusev’s mysterious blonde is apparently his social media ambassador and named Lana. Rusev pounds away in the corner and headbutts Cassady down for a quick two. Some more headbutts get more near falls but Rusev missed a middle rope splash. Cassady comes back with some quick right hands but can’t slam him down. Instead it’s a high knee to the face for two but Cassady misses a charge into the corner and hits his head on the post.

The Accolade goes on but Cassady slips his arms off Rusev’s legs and gets to the ropes. Rusev picks Cassady up and drives knees into his back without moving Cassady, sort of like a standing backbreaker. A headbutt to the back of Cassady’s head sets up the Accolade for the submission to set the time at 5:33.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but Cassady looked good in his first solo outing after Enzo’s injury. Rusev’s monster is great and works very well for him given how he looks. Back in the day he would have been headlining house shows against Hogan already but things have changed a bit, and that’s better for guys like him.

Adrian Neville says that it’s unfortunate Corey Graves has a concussion but that’s the chance you take in the ring. He knows a thing or two about speed and tonight we’ll see if Aiden English can keep up. There’s a new backstage interviewer named Devon Taylor and she’s no Renee Young.

Bayley is depressed about Charlotte turning on her last week. They were like Spongebob and Patrick or Tommy and Chucky. They used to pogo stick and do the robot together. She threatens to beat up Charlotte but apologizes for scaring Devon. Maybe she’d like to do the robot with Bayley?

Beat the Clock Challenge: Tyler Breeze vs. Kassius Ohno

Breeze’s nickname is now Prince Pretty. Tyler quickly stomps him down into the corner but Ohno gets two of his own off a backslide. Kassius hits one of the loudest chops I’ve ever heard but Breeze sends him out to the floor with a hard dropkick to the head. Regal wants to know why Breeze is trying to get him back into the ring when Tyler could easily win by countout here.

Ohno finally gets rolled back inside for two as the fans are split on who they like better. A clothesline gets another near fall for Breeze but Kassius ducks the Beauty Shot spinwheel kick as we’re running out of time. Ohno misses an elbow smash and they trade rollups for two each. Kassius grabs a rollup of of his own for the pin at 4:48, setting the new time.

Rating: C. Much more exciting match which is one of the perks of a Beat the Clock Challenge. On the other hand though, the rest of the matches are going to have a 4:48 time limit at the most which doesn’t give much time to set things up. Still though, Breeze is just nailing this character right now and it’s great.

Hunico/Camacho vs. John J. Hornigan/Chris Rothwell

Camacho hits a quick Samoan drop on I think Rothwell before Hunico pins him with a Swanton at 24 seconds. That’s quite the squash.

Hunico and Camacho are coming for Ascension.

Some older looking male backstage interviewer talks to Ohno who is fired up about his win. Lana comes in and yells at Ohno for screwing up Rusev’s title shot. Ohno calls her Natasha and says tell Boris that Rusev can have the first title shot.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Adrian Neville vs. Aiden English

Aiden sings about the 525,600 matches in WWE and measuring them in headlocks and takedowns. WHY IS THIS GUY NOT ON RAW??? Neville grabs a quick rollup for two and speeds things up with a legsweep for another two. English comes back with a suplex for two of his own before stomping away in the corner. Adrian fights back with some chops but gets taken down and punched in the face a lot.

Neville kicks away at the leg and hits a quick kick to the chest for two. We’ve got a minute left but Aiden rolls away before Neville can launch the Red Arrow. English loads up a superplex but gets shoved down, setting up the Red Arrow for the pin at 4:45, good for the lead by three seconds.

Rating: C-. This was the perfect kind of match for Neville who was flying around as fast as he could out there. It’s a very good sign for him that he can do more than just high spots which means he’s got a lot more potential than various other guys with a high flying finisher. English shouldn’t be losing clean this soon though.

Ascension accepts Hunico and Camacho’s challenge.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Sami Zayn vs. Leo Kruger

Bo comes out to watch from the stage. Sami gets an early two off a cross body and Kruger gets the same off a slam. Zayn pops up to the top for a high cross body for two as the fans are into this already. Leo puts him right back down and elbows Sami for two as the OLE chants begin. A cravate slows Sami down a bit longer but he fights up with some clotheslines and a dropkick another near fall. Kruger catches him in a spinebuster as we have 45 seconds left. Leo wastes a lot of time waiting for Sami to get up but takes his head off with the Slice for two but Sami counters a cover into a rollup for the pin as time expires.

Rating: C. Another fast paced match here with a very interesting ending. Sami’s eventual push to the title continues, though at this point I’m not sure if he’s going to actually get the belt or not. Kruger is looking more and more like a jobber to the stars around here as of late, which isn’t a good sign for him at all.

Post match here’s JBL to say there will not be controversy. Therefore, next week it’s Zayn vs. Neville since their times were identical. The winner gets a title shot the following week.

Overall Rating: B-. This is what I’m talking about by week to week booking. Notice how there’s a natural flow from one week to another and you’re given a reason to watch the next episode. On the main shows it’s just “tune in next week to see whatever happens next.” That’s very vague and not a reason to watch. Here on the other hand you’re given stories and multiple reasons to check out the next show. If you don’t like the #1 contenders match, there’s also the Divas and the tag title picture. That’s a really good way of running a show and keeps people coming back over and over. Good show this week.

Results

Alexander Rusev b. Colin Cassady – Accolade

Kassius Ohno b. Tyler Breeze – Rollup

Hunico/Camacho b. John J. Hornigan/Chris Rothwell – Swanton Bomb to Rothwell

Adrian Neville b. Aiden English – Red Arrow

Sami Zayn b. Leo Kruger – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Dude was NUTS back in his time and held the AWA World Title for over three years.  He was also the guy that had his prosthetic leg stolen by Diesel at In Your House 7.  Vachon was 84 years old and had been in bad health for a long time.

Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is all about the Nexus with the main event of Orton vs. Barrett for the world title with Cena as the referee. If Barrett wins, Cena is free from Nexus. If Orton wins, Cena is fired. Other than that we’ve only got one Survivor Series match which is kind of a letdown but it could be worse. This is one of those shows that doesn’t mean much because of what happens the next night anyway so it’s hard to get into this in a way. This is one of the two Survivor Series I reviewed live so the grades should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

The usual opening video is the video that opens us. The idea tonight is Cena not wanting to compromise his integrity and give the title to Barrett when he doesn’t deserve it, but he doesn’t want to quit. A song about being what you believe plays over this.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is challenging here because he wants to win his first title. Simple but effective I guess. Bryan has Rise of the Valkyries here which makes things all the more awesome but the lack of beard hurts. Maryse is with Ted here too and is rocking a beige dress. Bryan speeds things up to start and there go the lights. Daniel dropkicks DiBiase to the apron but as he goes to get Ted, Bryan gets suplexed out to the floor in a cool bump.

Back in and Bryan fires off the kicks. It’s so weird to not hear YES or NO whenever he hits…well anything actually. DiBiase hooks a chinlock to slow the champ down followed by a backbreaker and dropkick for two. Back to the chinlock as the fans are way into Bryan here. This one doesn’t last as long as Bryan fights up and speeds up the pace. There’s the moonsault out of the corner and a dropkick to send DiBiase to the floor. Bryan hits the suicide dive to the floor but he comes up favoring his shoulder. Why is that called favoring? It’s in worse shape than anything else so how is that favoring it?

They head back in and Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two and it’s time for more kicks. The LeBell (NO) Lock can’t go on because of the bad shoulder though and DiBiase clotheslines him down. Dream Street (Cobra Clutch) from DiBiase is countered twice so Ted hits a sitout spinebuster for two. Dibiase’s superplex is countered a belly to back superplex by Bryan but he still can’t get the LeBell Lock. A rollup gets two for Ted and Bryan grabs the arm for the LeBell Lock to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like an extended Smackdown match but that’s not a bad thing. Bryan was still a pretty big underdog in a lot of his matches at this point but wins like this were exactly what he needed. DiBiase never got over in this role or really in any other either. He’s a guy who needs to change his name as he’s never going to get out from under his dad’s shadow and it’s crippling his career. Well that and WWE never putting him on TV.

As Bryan poses on the stage, Miz and Alex Riley (speaking of guys who need to be on TV more) jump him with the MITB case. Miz and Riley get in the ring but the lights go out again. Miz talks about how he’s from Cleveland and doesn’t like the Miami Heat that much. He compares Barrett to LeBron James because neither will ever be a world champion. The fans chant for the Heat and Miz says he’ll cash in soon. That’s true.

We recap Sheamus vs. Morrison. Sheamus is a bully, Morrison is sick of him. That’s it.

Sheamus says Morrison is jealous of him for being a former and future world champion because Morrison never will be.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Jerry tells a story of a guy in high school that kept taking everyone’s lunch money and picking on everyone he could but no one ever stood up to him. Striker: “Was his name Judas? (HUH?)” Jerry: “Actually it was Jerry Lawler.” Your lesson for the day kids: beat up other kids and treat them like trash and you could be a multiple time world champion and get a job on national TV every week and get into the WWE Hall of Fame. But you’d rather be a STAR right?

Cole says Morrison described this match as a tank against a fighter jet. Cole: “Of course Morrison the jet and Sheamus the tank.” What would we ever do without Cole? I’m not sure, but I’m going to go look into it. Anyway Morrison starts fast and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor followed by a corkscrew dive to take the pale one out. Sheamus sends him into the barricade and runs Morrison over with an ax handle.

Back in and we hit the chinlock as the fans aren’t all that into Sheamus at all. A backbreaker gets two for Sheamus and it’s back to a chinlock again, although this one has an armbar added in. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest from a seated position instead of in the ropes. It’s always cool to see the evolution of a move like that. Sheamus puts him on the top and pounds away again but Morrison slugs Sheamus down to the mat. A cross body gets rolled through for two for Sheamus and John is in trouble.

The Brogue Kick misses and Morrison enziguris him down. Morrison is all fired up and hits some clotheslines for two but it’s hard to keep Sheamus down. Irish Curse stops the momentum but it only gets two again. The High Cross is countered into a Russian legsweep for two for Johnny. Sheamus goes after the knee to stop Morrison again. This match really is as back and forth as it sounds. No one has had an extended advantage for the most part.

Sheamus puts the leg over his shoulder and pulls Morrison forward to the mat in a cool looking move that I haven’t seen before. Half crab does more damage for Sheamus but he slaps Morrison in the face a few times to tick him off. John kicks him down but Starship Pain is broken up with ease. The High Cross is countered again and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Morrison to hit the Flying Chuck and a running knee to the face for the surprise pin.

Rating: B-. These two always have this freakish chemistry that really doesn’t make a ton of sense but is always there. Morrison’s flying style was a great counter to the power stuff from Sheamus, and as usual the idea of power vs. speed works as well as anything else. Morrison would never hit a level that they were hoping for him to, while Sheamus would go on to win the world title at Wrestlemania in a few years. You never know what’s going to happen in wrestling, which is why it’s funny.

Watch Big Show’s movie! No one else has.

R-Truth continues to meddle in Cena’s business and offers to interfere in the main event tonight because you can only win by pin or submission. He offers to attack Orton and Cena will be guilt free. Cena yells at him for suggesting it.

Intercontinental Title: Kaval vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kaval is more famous as Low Ki and won NXT Season 2 to get any title shot he wanted. In his first win, he beat Dolph on Smackdown and picked to challenge for this title tonight. A quick elbow gets two so Dolph takes over with a forearm in the corner. There’s the Hennig necksnap and a mini AA for two for Dolph. A handspring elbow takes Dolph down and Kaval pounds away in the corner until a Vickie distraction lets Dolph take him down.

Kaval comes back with a handspring into a kick to the face in the corner which looked pretty awesome. Kaval goes up with his back to the ring, allowing Dolph to put on a sleeper on the top rope for some reason. Dolph gets knocked back and Kaval misses a big flip dive, allowing Dolph to hit the Fameasser for two. The sleeper goes on (on the mat this time) but Kaval escapes and is launched to the top rope where he springs off and hits a spin kick to the face in ANOTHER awesome looking move. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two before Ziggler gets a rollup of his own with tights to retain.

Rating: C-. Kaval tried here but this crippled whatever he had as far as momentum was going. He would be gone before the end of the year and I can’t say I blame him. The match here was ok enough but the chemistry didn’t click at all. Also, why would you pick a match for the IC Title when you can pick whatever you want?

Jack Swagger doesn’t like the idea about being on Team Del Rio, because it should be Team Swagger. Jack says some stuff about the Spanish being spoken here because he doesn’t habla Espanol. Rhodes, who is still Dashing at this point, comes up and makes fun of Swagger’s shoes. Del Rio, who only mostly sucks at this point, says that he won a bet about Swagger getting interrupted. This goes nowhere.

Team Del Rio vs. Team Mysterio

Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes

Rey Mysterio, Chris Masters, Big Show, MVP, Kofi Kingston

Team Mysterio is all in blue in a nice touch. The fans chant for MVP as he’s the hometown boy. The captains start things off but there’s no contact as Del Rio tags in Rhodes. We start talking about baseball (Striker: “Rickey Henderson may be the greatest baseball player of all time.” Cole and Lawler: “WHAT???”) as Rey hooks an O’Connor Roll for two on Cody. Cody comes back with a Disaster Kick and stomps away in the corner.

Here’s Del Rio again who gets caught in the corner and hit by a hard running dropkick. Off to MVP who hits a dropkick and ducks an enziguri in the corner. This was right around the time when he was getting good, but he would be gone in less than three weeks. Here’s Kofi with some bouncing offense but it’s quickly off to Masters. Lawler does his usual talk about the Clowns vs. Kings back in 94 as Reks and McIntyre take turns beating on Masters.

Drew’s middle rope jumps lands on a boot and Masters can tag in MVP. MVP suplexes McIntyre down and hits the Ballin Elbow, only to fall victim to the Ultimate Warrior/Rick Rude ending from Mania 5 (MVP suplexes Drew but Alberto hooks MVP’s foot and Drew falls on top for a pin). Masters comes back in again and hits a kind of Jackhammer for two. Del Rio avoids the Masterlock and puts on the Armbreaker for the submission to make it 5-3.

Here’s Big Show as the stopper for his team and Del Rio bails, bringing in Swagger. Swagger tries to wrestle him down and is immediately chopped in the chest. A kind of chop block takes Show down and it’s back to Del Rio. Show glares at him again and Alberto tags out to Drew, but before Alberto gets out Show knocks him out cold. With McIntyre down, Show slams Kofi down onto Drew for a two count. Apparently Alberto can’t continue and is eliminated. Cody comes in to face Kingston and Rhodes snaps when he gets hit in the face. He goes on a rant and heads to the floor to check the mirror on the back of his jacket.

Rhodes heads back in and gets hit in the face again. Off to Show who slaps Cody on the back and the KO punch makes it 3-3. It’s Kofi/Rey/Show vs. Reks/Swagger/McIntyre and Reks immediately clotheslines Show down in an impressive move. Swagger comes in to work on the leg and hooks the ankle lock. After nearly tapping, Show crawls over to Rey for the saving tag. Rey speeds things up but Jack kicks his head off for two.

Swagger drills Kofi on the apron before catching Rey’s 619 into the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls through the hold and makes the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house and hits the top rope cross body on Reks for two. Kofi misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. After Kofi gets down, Reks charges into a double boot in the corner for the fast elimination. Swagger comes in almost immediately and catches Trouble in Paradise into the ankle lock to tie things back up. Kofi tapping is a weird sight.

Back to Big Show who uses that large body of his to run Swagger over a few times before Swagger has to lay down so Rey and Show can do the on the shoulders splash. McIntyre breaks up the big splash though and Rey is down. Rey gets placed on the top rope but headbutts Jack down to the mat. The 619 sets up that splash off Show’s shoulders to make it 2-1. Future Shock is countered and it’s a chokeslam from Show for the elimination.

Rating: B-. This was a fine Survivor Series match with both teams working well together. I don’t get the point in having Del Rio eliminated that early, but I guess it allows for Rey vs. Del Rio to happen later on. The match wasn’t a classic but it worked well enough for what it was supposed to be. Decent stuff here and the fans were happy with the ending.

Randy Orton talks about how he’s tired of hearing all of the talk about Cena and Barrett, because tonight it’s either the RKO or the Punt to stop Barrett.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

I miss Laycool’s entrance, if nothing else for how they look in the shorts. Laycool are the co champions here as both have belts in a story that wasn’t that interesting in the first place. The champs have to tag here and it’s Michelle to start. Natalya takes it to the mat early on and Michelle actually takes over with the amateur stuff. Off to the hometown heel in Layla who distracts the referee so Michelle can pull Nattie onto the floor.

Back in and Natalya supelxes both chicks at once but her back is hurt in the process. Michelle blasts her in said back on the floor, but Natalya shoves Michelle over the barricade. They all brawl at ringside for a bit before Natalya and Michelle head into the ring. McCool gets rammed into Layla and the Sharpshooter gives Natalya the title.

Rating: D. Here’s this whole feud in a nutshell: Natalya beat up Layla, then Natalya beat up Michelle, then Natalya beat up both of them at once. This wasn’t much of a match but it’s the kind of breather that you have to give the fans before you get to the big stuff later on. Laycool would be around for a few more months, but once they split they fell off the face of the planet all of a sudde.

Beth Phoenix returns to save Nattie from a double beatdown. This would set up a Divas tables match next month.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. Kane beat Taker in the Cell (Today is November 6, 2012 and that match is the last time Smackdown main evented a PPV to date) when Paul Bearer shocked no one and turned on Taker. Edge got this shot by uh……tall. I think he just got the shot because he was on a hot streak. Edge also kidnapped Bearer and tortured him and I don’t think has returned him yet.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Kane is defending here. Edge wheels out with an empty wheelchair to mess with Kane a bit more. Kane tries a quick chokeslam but Edge punches out of it. Kane sends him to the floor and Edge wheels the chair around a bit more to make Kane mad. A baseball slide sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside where the Canadian takes out the Spaniard’s leg. He wraps the leg around the post and lays on it for a bit to make sure we don’t get excited.

Kane gets in an uppercut to take over and slugs away slowly. The Big Bald chokes away and yells about Bearer a bit as the fans aren’t really thrilled by this stuff. Granted I question how many fans know Smackdown exists still so it’s a fair problem to have. To really mix things up, Kane puts on a cravate and yells even more. A low dropkick gets two for the champion and it’s back to the trusty cravate. Edge finally gets up and hits a cross body off the top for two.

Kane slugs him down but Edge dropkicks him out of the air on the top rope clothesline attempt. A side slam gets two for Kane and he goes up again. Edge makes the stop but gets crotched and clotheslined down for two. Something resembling a DDT puts Kane down but Edge’s spear hits boot. There’s the chokeslam for two so Kane tries the Tombstone. Edge slips down the back and spears Kane down for the pin and no title, because all four shoulders were down and it’s a draw. Yep, that’s really what they did.

Rating: F+. The ending until the cover wasn’t bad, but other than that this was dull, slow and horrible. These two just did not work well together at all, so of course they had another title match on PPV. Horrible match here as Kane just stood around and held Edge by the neck for LONG stretches of time. Kane would accidentally kill Paul Bearer soon after this. Don’t ask.

Kane beats up Edge post match. Edge comes back and puts Kane in the wheelchair and sends him through part of the barricade.

Barrett tells Cena if he doesn’t help him tonight, Cena is gone. Apparently Nexus started in this building. Cena says he knows what he’s going to do.

Tag Titles: Nexus vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella

Slater and Gabriel are the champions here and have Harris/McGillicutty/Otunga with them. Santino and Slater start things off and Marella gets to use some of the martial arts that Kozlov has been teaching him. Off to Gabriel and Kozlov who tags himself in. Remember that two years ago, Kozlov was in the world title match against HHH and now he’s here. That’s quite the fall. Gabriel dives at Kozlov and gets caught in a kind of spinebuster to give the challengers control.

Gabriel gets in a kick to take Koz down and Slater drops a knee for two. Back to Justin for a cravate and then a front facelock. Kozlov is about to get to Santino when Slater draws Cobra Man in. That’s some good old school tag stuff there and it’s awesome. Slater hooks a front facelock of his own but it’s a hot tag to Santino. He hits all of his usual stuff and loads up the Cobra, but the other members of Nexus distract him (not that hard really) and Slater hits the sleeper drop for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here that wouldn’t be on Raw on any given week. The tag titles were absolutely nothing at this point but then again that could go for any show for a good six year stretch or so. It makes the current tag team resurgence look more impressive as they took it from nowhere to something decent, which is a big deal. The match here was fine but it was another breather for the fans.

Post match the challengers get beaten down again and the Anonymous Raw GM says if Nexus interferes in the world title match, they’re suspended indefinitely.

We recap Orton vs. Barrett. Barrett got the title shot I believe through winning NXT and got Cena to join Nexus through winning at HIAC. Cena hates it and somehow he gets to be the guest referee tonight. If he screws Orton over, he won’t be able to live with himself, but if he doesn’t screw Orton over, Barrett will fire him. This gets the music video treatment of course.

Raw World Title: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Oh and you can only win by pin or submission. Feeling out process to start with Orton grabbing a headlock. A shoulder puts Barrett down and Orton fires away elbows and uppercuts in the corner. Cena finally does something and it’s correct procedure, but the fans boo because it’s against Orton. He goes the same thing to Barrett and Orton hits a dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor where Barrett hits a kick to the ribs to take over. Orton gets sent into the steps and punched down back in the ring. Barrett covers and gets a fair one count. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Orton fights back with his usual comeback stuff. The backbreaker gets two and Orton glares at Cena. Barrett gets in an uppercut and hits a top rope elbow for two.

Barrett hits his pumphandle slam for two and now Barrett glares at Cena too. This is pretty dull stuff so far. Wasteland is countered and there’s a Boss Man Slam (called a Black Hole Slam by Striker) for another close two. The fans do the usual pro/anti Cena chants as Orton hits the Elevated DDT. Barrett gets in a knee to the head and Wasteland hits, but Orton grabs the rope at two. I do love how the idea that Barrett could just win the title on his own is a completely non-factor. Barrett shoves Cena so Cena shoves him back, right into the RKO and the clean pin to fire Cena. Striker: “Cena’s free!” Cole: “Cena’s fired.” Striker: “Oh.”

Rating: D. This barely worked as the focus was entirely on Cena and the match was really dull for the most part. It was someone hitting a move that would be lucky to get two and then glaring at Cena when they didn’t get a pin off of it. Cena was “fired” as a result, but would of course be back on PPV the next month. I don’t think he ever missed a Raw. I like the moment with him counting the pin because that’s him being himself which is the essence of Cena’s character, but the match sucked.

Cena has no idea what to do post match. Nexus runs in and gets beaten down by the Super Best Friends. Cena hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main events sucked but the first half or so of this was fine. The problem with the main event here is the same problem that brought down the whole Nexus angle: Barrett never won the title. Without that, Nexus and Barrett in particular weren’t really big threats but rather guys that annoyed Cena for a few months until he beat them all. Besides, the next night Miz cashed in and won the title after Cena cost Barrett another title shot. This show isn’t really worth seeing but it’s not horrible.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: C+

John Morrison vs. Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Natalya vs. Laycool

Original: D+

Redo: D

Kane vs. Edge

Original: D

Redo: F+

Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked this one WAY better on first viewing. Then again I didn’t know what was coming for Nexus back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/19/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2010-when-did-orton-and-barrett-get-good/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Nitro #143
Date: June 29, 1998
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,900
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re 13 days away from Bash at the Beach and of course the major story tonight is the NBA tag match. Tonight also marks the first appearance of Karl Malone on the show, meaning Tony will constantly tell us how nothing has ever been bigger in the history of our sport. The hype wound up working due to how successful the PPV was but man alive it’s not easy to sit through week in and week out. Let’s get to it.

The Nitro Girls get us going. Not a bad way to start.

The announcers intro the show and Larry can’t pronounce anticipation.

Gene brings out Kevin Greene for an opening chat. Greene doesn’t remember Hennig’s name but he does remember Goldberg, who he calls the best wrestler in the last 30 years. He plugs the tag match at the PPV and leaves. This was maybe 45 seconds long.

Kanyon vs. Horace

Kanyon starts fast with a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (starts like a fisherman’s suplex but into a swinging neckbreaker instead of a suplex) for two before stomping Horace down into the corner. A Lodi distraction lets Horace clothesline Kanyon to the floor though and Horace follows up with a suicide dive. Not a bad one either.

Kanyon is whipped into the stop sign against the barricade which is legal because all of the Flock’s matches are under Raven’s Rules. Or the referee is a dolt. Back inside and Horace superplexes Kanyon down for two but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker. Kanyon comes back with a fireman’s carry into a pancake for no cover as Kanyon has to go after Lodi. Horace gets two off a big boot but walks into the Flatliner for the pin.

Rating: C-. Decent little match here as Kanyon continues to look great in the ring almost every time. Horace is a better power guy than he’s given credit for, but that’s what you have to expect when the guy is Hulk’s nephew. The Kanyon vs. Raven blowoff match should be solid once we finally get there.

Post match the Flock hits the ring but Kanyon holds them off. Raven himself finally comes in and the distraction lets the Flock take Kanyon down. Raven says Kanyon standing alone is usually honorable but today it’s foolish. The Evenflow lays Kanyon out.

A semi-truck is on the way but not even in Florida yet according to Tony.

Opening sequence, nearly 20 minutes into the show.

The announcers talk about the tag match again.

We get the phone call from Thunder from Page saying he and Malone are driving a big rig from Salt Lake City to Nitro with a surprise inside. The surprise: a bunch of chairs. Seriously, he said there was a surprise inside then said there’s nothing but chairs inside. I’m guessing that’s another slip of the tongue.

Back to the helicopter shot of the truck with Tony saying it’s been in Florida all day, contradicting what he said five minutes ago. He’s getting better if nothing else.

The Black and White is arming itself with various metal weapons such as crowbars and chains.

More fans think Page and Malone are going to win.

Here’s Stevie Ray who has demanded TV time tonight. He’s got a problem with that pipsqueak Chris Benoit and that ex-football player Steve McMichael. Everybody knows he could beat both of them one on one but Booker T wants a tag match. Stevie won’t say where Booker is right now but he’ll be here later for a tag match if the challenge is accepted.

Little Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

Dragon is another guy from Dragon Gate who is better known as Dragon Kid. This is his only WCW appearance, meaning the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with him. Eddie quickly takes him down by the arm but Dragon flips out and hits a handspring elbow in the corner. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Dragon down again and Eddie hits the slingshot hilo to his back.

The fans chant for Chavo so Eddie hits a brainbuster. He looks all over the place for Chavo before going up for the frog splash. Here’s Chavo riding a hobby horse named Pepe and telling Eddie (“Little Trooper”) to keep going. Eddie tries to steal the horse and the distraction lets Dragon roll Eddie up for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but was more for the story than the match itself. Chavo is completely insane by this point and the character is getting over as a result. Imagine that: a veteran doing a story with a younger guy and the younger guy getting over. Also notice that Eddie hasn’t lost any of his heat at all and is getting better reactions from the crowd. Why is this such a hard concept to grasp?

Chris Jericho offers Ultimo Dragon a title shot on Thunder if Dragon takes Malenko out tonight.

More Nitro Girls.

Nitro Party winner.

Sumo Fuji/Judo Suwa vs. Giant

Rude and Hennig are here with Giant and Rude’s beard is getting out of control. Wade Boggs is here and Larry is furious for him shaking hands with the NWO. Neither Japanese guy comes up past Giant’s chest. Giant kicks Judo in the face and a double chokeslam ends this in less than 45 seconds.

The NWO clears the Dragon Gate guys out of the ring and says if Kevin Greene wants some right now, come get it. Greene comes to the aisle on his own with Hennig talking a lot of trash about the “non-athlete”. Goldberg shows up behind Greene and the good guys clear the ring. The Goldberg chant comes on, despite the crowd shots showing no one actually chanting.

More fans think Page and Malone will win.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Hogan sings (meaning recites) his theme song’s lyrics on the way to the ring. Tony describes Hogan as magnificent, which doesn’t sound like something you say about your hated rival. Eric says Hogan used to want to be a truck mechanic so he can help if Malone and Page break down. Hogan talks about beating up truck drivers in Tampa years ago and promises to make Karl Malone famous tonight.

Hanging out with a loser like Page isn’t going to help Malone’s legacy and neither will Hogan turning the truck over on Malone’s back. Malone will end up shining Hollywood’s shoes because Karl couldn’t lace the black Jesus’ shoes on the basketball course. Tonight Hogan will take care of Malone by himself. Somehow this took seven minutes.

The truck is on the way, complete with a police escort. Also it’s apparently gone from full daylight to pitch black in about 20 minutes.

Hour #2 begins.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Jim Neidhart/British Bulldog

Non-title match. Luger is teaming with Sting again, making me wonder why Nash was given the title in the first place. Neidhart and Luger get us going by trading shoulder blocks until Luger clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and it’s off to Sting and Bulldog which pleases the fans quite a bit. Sting grabs a headlock and sends Bulldog to the floor for a breather.

Bulldog comes back in and wants to face his former Allied Powers teammate. They pose at each other until it’s off to Anvil for even more posing. Larry: “Is he flexing his beard?” Sting comes in and runs Neidhart around the ring before it’s back to Luger who is taken into the corner. Luger gets double teamed for a few seconds before coming back with a double clothesline to put both Neidhart and Luger down. Hot tag to Sting who cleans house and finishes Bulldog with the Death Drop.

Rating: D-. This was HORRIBLE with both teams taking as much time as they could doing as little as they could. Neidhart and Bulldog just weren’t working in WCW and I think everyone knew it. They really don’t have characters outside of being Bret’s relatives which doesn’t work when they’re not allowed to associate with him. It didn’t help that Bulldog was a shell of himself at this point and Anvil never was much of note without Bret.

More fans, same opinions.

Saturn vs. Reese

The monster pounds Saturn in the chest to start but Saturn superkicks Reese down to his knees. Reese grabs Saturn and gorilla presses him from one knee in an impressive power display. Some knees in the corner have Saturn in trouble but he kicks Reese in the knee and takes him down. A missile dropkick drops Reese before the Death Valley Driver is good for the pin. We can add Saturn to the list of guys that WCW amazingly managed to screw up.

The Flock immediately comes in and swarms Saturn. Raven says it’s time Saturn starts taking responsibility for his life. He talks about giving Saturn everything but Saturn never gave anything back. An Evenflow lays Saturn out just like it did Kanyon earlier.

We recap the NWO beating down Greene las tweek until Goldberg made the save.

The motorcade continues.

More Nitro Girls.

El Vampiro vs. Brad Armstrong

Vampiro looks much different without his facepaint. Feeling out process to start with Armstrong taking him into the corner but Vampiro lands on his feet off a monkey flip. A clothesline puts Vampiro down but he comes back with a nice spinning kick to the jaw. Vampiro scores again with a spinwheel kick to the face and the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. Just a squash even though Vampiro wouldn’t be back until next March.

Promo for the tag match at Bash at the Beach.

The NWO Late Night band is warming up. Oh this isn’t going to go well.

Tokyo Magnum/Shiima Nobunaga vs. Disco Inferno/Alex Wright

Nobunaga is more famous as Cima. Toyky starts dancing between Wright and Disco and takes his clothes off at the same time. Disco and Wright aren’t into the stripping stuff and pounds Tokyo out to the floor. Nobunaga starts with Alex and we get a rather nice wrestling sequence with Nobunaga taking over via a flying mare and a dropkick. Wright runs him over and tags in Disco who is sent chest first into the buckle and drokicked in the back.

Off to Magnum who walks into an atomic drop and it’s off to Wright for a spinwheel kick. Alex tries a slingshot splash but lands on knees to put him down. Back to Nobunaga for a springboard Swanton Bomb before it’s back to Tokyo to stomp away in the corner. Tokyo tries something out of the corner but slips down on the first try. A top rope hurricanrana brings Disco down but Wright comes in sans tag with a missile dropkick. Tokyo is knocked into the corner and it’s off to Nobunaga who gets caught by a neckbreaker from Alex for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a much better match than I was expecting with Nobunaga shining better than anyone else. Tokyo, who is mostly remembered in WCW as a comedy jobber, looked much better than I was expecting out there. Wright and Disco weren’t bad either, making for a nice though short match.

Disco and Alex argue over which music should play post match.

Tenay interviews fans about the tag match. Guess who they pick to win.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Dean Malenko

Fast start with Dragon cranking on the arm and taking Dean down with a flying mare. Malenko jumps over a leg sweep and avoids a kick before both guys try dropkicks to give us a standoff. Dragon grabs the arm to take over before shifting over the knee instead. We get the headstand out of the corner but Dean catches him coming out of the corner in a nasty looking release German suplex.

The rapid fire kicks have Dean in trouble but he rolls out of the Dragon Sleeper. Dragon takes him into the corner for the top rope hurricanrana but gets caught in the super gutbuster instead. This brings out Jericho to say this is where Dean’s father is buried. Dean lets go of the Cloverleaf to chase Jericho to the back for a countout.

Rating: C. The match was good while it lasted but just like the Eddie match it wound up being about storytelling instead of the match. That’s fine a lot of the time, but at some point there has to be a payoff for Dean. Yeah he won the title at Slamboree but it was taken away just a few weeks later. That kind of cheapens the win and a boost for Dean wouldn’t hurt.

Hour #3 begins.

We get a clip from Thunder of Arn Anderson saying the Horsemen are over.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Harlem Heat

Benoit and Booker get us going which is the best idea for everyone. Stevie comes in before there’s any contact though and gets stomped down into the corner with ease. A clothesline out of the same corner takes Benoit down and it’s off to Booker who gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Tag brings in Mongo to pound on Booker with his generic power offense until he charges into a boot in the corner.

Back to Stevie for his own generic power offense as the crowd audibly dies. Booker comes back in for a spinebuster for two but Benoit has had enough. Everything breaks down without any tags and here’s Bret Hart with a chair to blast Booker in the back, giving Mongo (who didn’t see Bret) a pin.

Rating: D+. Simple explanation for this: Booker and Benoit good, Stevie and Mongo bad. That’s as basic as you can get here and the fans seemed to feel the same. I’m not even sure why Stevie doesn’t like Benoit in the first place. Is it just because Benoit offered to help Booker whenever he needed it? That’s why we’ve in the third week of feuding?

Dean catches up with Jericho in the locker room and pounds on him until Ultimo Dragon tries to break it up. Malenko beats on him for a bit, allowing Jericho to escape.

The longest motorcade route in history continues.

It’s time for the Eric Bischoff Show. This is going to suck isn’t it? Eric (Bandleader: “One heck of a real swell guy!”) and Liz come out to a talk show set that is nearly identical to the Tonight Show. The bandleader says this is like the Barney and the motorcycle episode of Andy Griffith or the first time there were transgender truck drivers beating each other up on Jerry Springer.

The bandleader goes on a long rant about hot sauce on barbecue pork rinds in a trailer. I think this is supposed to be funny but the speech made me lose focus. The guest tonight is Scott Steiner who says his usual promo before talking about the tag match. He runs down Malone for his Rogaine commercials and says calling Malone the Mailman is fraud since he never delivers. Steiner says he’s got a co-star in his Hollywood project and promises to have him here next week. This was so far beyond stupid that it needs to study to get to dumb.

Booker comes out and says that he doesn’t always agree with Stevie Ray but that’s another story for another time. This is the second time that Bret Hart has come out here and hit him in the back of the head with a chair and Booker wants to know why. Stevie comes out and wants to know why Booker is challenging Bret, even though he didn’t do that yet. Booker does challenge Hart and here’s Bret, who says if there’s a challenge, just go ahead and “ax” him. The challenge is accepted but Booker better not cry when he loses. The match is on for the PPV but Stevie wanted Booker to jump Bret right there.

Hogan and Bischoff want Malone and Page here now. Hollywood has an idea though.

More Nitro Girls with the hometown girl Whisper getting a rare solo.

US Title: Glacier vs. Goldberg

Buffer does the big intro for what might last two minutes. For some reason Heenan thinks Glacier’s music is Goldberg’s. The champ’s entrance takes over two and a half minutes. Page and Malone are officially pulling up to the arena. Actually scratch that as they’re still a few blocks away. Goldberg tries his leg lock but Glacier comes back with kicks to the face. The champion completely no sells them and hits a kind of powerbomb. The spear and Jackhammer retain the belt. Typical Goldberg here.

The announcers talk about the motorcade again.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff for the big closing segment. Hogan says he hoped to take care of this really quickly but Malone and Page are clearly scared. The motorcade is finally arriving with a few minutes to go in the show. Hogan keeps calling them losers but doesn’t seem to know they’re here. Hogan: “At Bash at the Beach, I don’t even want you to tune in.” Nice promotion there dude.

The rest of the Black and White are shown in the parking lot as Malone and Page arrive. Both guys come inside while Hogan and Bischoff talk trash. Page and Malone come in another door and bypass the NWO entirely, allowing them to sneak up on Hogan and Bischoff, chairs in hand. Hogan and Bischoff see them in the ring with Bischoff being thrown to the floor. Malone says bring it and we get an over minute long standoff. They lock up with Malone slamming Hogan down and clotheslining him a few times.

The rest of the NWO comes out with weapons in hand but Page has….a microphone. He says Hogan got slammed dunked, punk. Page gets all witty and calls Dennis Rodman Denise before challenging him for next week. Malone says size does matter at Bash at the Beach. I’d like to remind you that there are about five NWO guys with crowbars and chains just standing in the aisle while Page and Malone talk. They do the Diamond Cutter sign to end the show. I’ll give Malone this: he looked like he was having a blast out there.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different show but in a good way. First and foremost, while the basketball tag match was hyped a lot tonight, they toned it WAY down from last week. Last time they talked about the match every ten seconds or so, whereas this time was only every few minutes and for much shorter stretches of time. On top of that, there were some solid matches to go with the focus on storytelling. Tonight was mainly about building up the PPV and that’s something we had been needing for a good while. Nice show this week, even though things are going to be turned upside down soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Clash of the Champions #13: Thanksgiving Thunder
Date: November 20, 1990
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul E. Dangerously

We’re in a very dark era for WCW at this point as it’s the final days of the Black Scorpion story. This show is probably the lowest point that it reached for reasons that you’ll see. Basically, there’s some guy in a black suit running around taunting Sting and no one knows who he is. There have been a lot of false alarms and hints which tried to imply it was Ultimate Warrior, but you would have to be a BIG old school fan to get that. Anyway it sucks but let’s get to it.

After a very basic intro which is pretty downplayed by comparison to most of their videos.

JR and Paulie talk about the show. The main event is Flair vs. Butch Reed. If Reed wins, Teddy Long gets Flair’s yacht and limo but if Flair wins, the Horsemen get a tag title shot and Teddy has to be Flair’s chauffeur.

Freebirds/Bobby Eaton vs. Southern Boys/El Gigante

The Birds have an annoying manager named Little Richard Marley (jobber Rocky King) with them. And never mind as Hayes says El Gigante got beaten up and sent back to Argentina so it’s just going to be a tag match.

Freebirds vs. Southern Boys

Eaton gets thrown out. Garvin vs. Smothers starts us off. This is a two and a half hour show (TV time that is) and we have 11 matches so most of them are going to be short. The Southern Boys clean house and send the Birds to the floor. The lighting is TERRIBLE in the arena here. Hayes isn’t really the kind of guy that can make glittery purple pants look tough.

The Birds get knocked to the floor again and we eventually get to Garvin vs. Tracy Smothers (his partner is Steve Armstrong). Garvin gets slammed off the top and the Birds double team. So then Armstrong goes one up on them with a double clothesline off the top. Marley gets up on the apron as the Southern Boys take over. Marley trips Smothers as Armstrong dives onto Garvin, allowing Hayes to DDT Smothers for the cheap pin.

Rating: D-. Well that match was worthless. I never cared for either of these teams and this was a pretty good example as to why. Who in the world thought this was going to be an entertaining match? Nothing interesting here at all and the Birds might have used three moves other than a slam. Terribly uninteresting.

Here’s Sting who is fired up to be face to face with the Black Scorpion. And that’s it. This was like 30 seconds long. Oh wait we’re not done. The Black Scorpion’s voice comes over the PA (it’s Ole Anderson, the same voice as the Shockmaster) who says that we’ll see his great powers of black magic tonight.

Buddy Landell vs. Brian Pillman

Pillman has the Bengals trunks now and is way popular. Landell looks exactly like Flair and even is nicknamed Nature Boy. He jumps Pillman to start and beats him down. Brian tries for some quick pins but once they don’t work he just knocks Buddy to the floor and dives onto him onto the ramp. A piledriver out there doesn’t work and back into the ring they go. They fight to the floor and Landell sends him to the post.

Even Dangerously says that Landell is a Flair clone. I’m not sure I get the point in having a Flair character at the same time Flair was there but he had been doing it for years so it’s not like this is some quick character for him. He was popular enough on his own too. Out to the floor again and Pillman hits a SWEET springboard crossbody to send Landell into the railing. Dang that man could fly. Abdominal stretch by Buddy is followed by a backbreaker for two. Pillman blocks a superplex and hits a top rope cross body for a very quick pin.

Rating: C. This was again short but they had a decent little match out there. Pillman was a rising star and would be in WarGames the next year (almost getting killed in the process but that’s another review for another time). This was a very basic power/brawler vs. speed match but it worked out pretty well I thought.

Big Cat vs. Brad Armstrong

Cat is more famous as Curtis Hughes and is one of three monster heels in a loose stable at this point. He wanted Luger and I don’t remember them ever fighting. Armstrong is the Candyman here because he’s only had 9485 stupid gimmicks in his career and needed another. What exactly that name means isn’t exactly mentioned but who needs to know that?

Power vs. speed here. Basically picture Big Zeke for an image of Big Cat. As for what happens in this, picture any power monster vs. speed face match that you’ve ever seen and you have that here. Cat hits a trio of backbreakers and Armstrong is in trouble. There’s a bearhug to continue the predictable basis of this one. Armstrong makes a very quick comeback but gets caught in a Torture Rack (stolen from Luger to further the feud) and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. Like I said, this was every power vs. speed match you’ve ever seen. Paint by numbers would be a good name for this. It’s not horrible I guess, but I’ve seen this sort of thing so many times that there’s nothing to be gained from it. It did its job well enough though so it’s not a total waste of time.

Dick the Bruiser is a scary man and says he’ll be at Starrcade to referee the main event.

Z-Man vs. Brian Lee

Lee is more famous as either a guy in ECW, the Fake Undertaker in 1994 or Chainz in the early Attitude Era. More speed vs. big guy here but Lee isn’t quite a full power guy. He’s more tall than strong. Z-Man speeds things up but misses a cross body and crashes to let Lee take over. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Z-Man easily comes back and a missile dropkick ends this.

Rating: F. This show SUCKS. This was another match that did nothing at all and was just there which is getting really old really fast. Lee was awful and from what I can find this is his official tryout match. To the shock of no one, he didn’t get a job out of it. Nothing match and it didn’t work at all.

Mike Rotundo is officially Michael Wallstreet after inheriting a lot of money. He’s got a new manager in the form of Alexandra York who says the computer says if Wallstreet follows the plan, he’ll beat Starblazer with ease tonight. This angle lasted longer than it should have but almost got good near the end.

Starblazer vs. Michael Wallstreet

Apparently Starblazer is (mostly) career jobber Tim Horner under a mask. How can we possibly be five matches into this show? York (Terri Runnels) shows him the computer’s plan and the fans chant boring less than a minute into this. Starblazer hits some fast dropkicks to send him to the floor. Join the WCW Fan Club! Back in they speed things up and Wallstreet throws him to the floor. Blazer makes a brief comeback and they fight over a Boston Crab for some reason. This FINALLY ends with the Wallstreet Crash, a Samoan Drop, for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have never seen a crowd that dead for a match. I mean they were not moving in the slightest. Wallstreet was such a boring character and they didn’t really ever develop him at all. He was at least better as IRS due to the character having something to talk about. Still though, bad match.

The WCW Top Ten:

Tag teams first.

10. Norman The Lunatic/The Juicer
9. Big Cat/Motor City Madman
8. Tim Horner/Candyman
7. Master Blasters
6. Southern Boys
5. Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich
4. Freebirds
3. Nasty Boys
2. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson
1. Steiner Brothers

Singles:

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Michael Wallstreet
7. Brian Pillman
6. Terry Taylor
5. Arn Anderson
4. Ric Flair
3. Lex Luger
2. Sid Vicious
1. Stan Hansen

Here’s a video about the International Tag Team Tournament which had one team from a bunch of countries/continents.

Ready for something that’s bordering on full blown racism?

African Tag Team Tournament Finals: Colonel DeKlerk/Sergeant Krueger vs. Kalua/Botswana Beast

DeKlerk is Rocco Rock before he gained a ton of work. I have no idea who Beast and Kalua are and I can’t find any information on them at all. Probably local guys. Naturally the “Africans” (yeah they’re just from Africa, even if one is named Botswana Beast) are black and the white South Africans are pretty American, as Krueger is Matt Osborne, as in Doink the Clown/Big Josh.

Krueger starts with let’s say Kalua. At least the Africans (as in not the white South Africans) are in regular tights and not tribal attire. Dangerously talks about how great DeKlerk is and all the titles he’s held on different continents. DeKlerk busts out a standing Lionsault but lands almost in a reverse DDT. Beast is a huge man and no sells a lot while his gut shakes. Beast destroys DeKlerk but gets caught with a clothesline. Another powerslam puts DeKlerk down for two. Things break down and they do the slam with a dropkick to the back for the pin as DeKlerk pins Beast.

Rating: F. It was stupid, they’re not from Africa, and I feel like I need to report this to Jesse Jackson. Just dreadful and the match SUCKED on top of that.

Sam Muchnick invites us to watch Starrcade in St. Louis. Old school fans will smile at that.

Recap of Luger vs. Hansen for the US Title, which is about Hansen FINALLY ending the title reign of Luger went on over 19 months. He did it clean too.

Vignette of Paul E. and his Motorcity Madman, another of that trio of heels I mentioned earlier.

Luger isn’t worried about the Madman. He wants Hansen but Big Cat shows up. Luger punches him once, Cat goes down, Luger goes to the ring. Cat gets up and says that was a mistake. Luger looked AWESOME there.

Motorcity Madman vs. Lex Luger

Madman is a nobody who got a cup of coffee in WCW and nothing happened with him. Lex is just ungodly popular. Big Cat sneaks up on Lex and they slug it out. Cat gets beaten back until referees break it up. The Madman jumps Luger as literally the entire two front rows are walking out at the exact same time. They must have been from somewhere else in the arena because the rows are full. There must have been 30-40 people walking though. Lex mostly suplexes the big guy as this is really just a power display for Lex. Madman hits a forearm and side slam but Lex hits a clothesline for the quick pin. Just a squash.

Nick Patrick speaks for the referees and says they’re worried about the Steiners vs. the Nasties. Ok then.

Renegade Warriors vs. Nasty Boys

They’re Chris and Mark Youngblood, a regular tag team who are Indians. JR says if the Nasties can beat the Steiners, he’ll quit announcing. Paulie FREAKS and is now Nasty Fan #1. Mark starts with Sags. It quickly turns into a brawl with Knobs taking over. Chris helps cheat which sets up an armbar. Back to Mark and now it’s Sags getting his arm worked on. Out to the floor and Knobs sends Mark into the railing. Chris bangs on a tom tom drum so Knobs DDTs Mark’s arm. Really bad match so far. The Steiners FINALLY run in and beat down the Nasties, probably as punishment for this. It’s a double DQ.

Rating: F. Oh just AWFUL here. The only thing people wanted to see was a brawl between the Nasties and Steiners, but somehow the WWF was able to get the Nasties over to WWF very quickly after this. I mean this is November and the Nasties were at the Rumble in January. I’ve never gotten how that can be done but it happened in this case.

Vader is back.

Sid Vicious vs. Nightstalker

Nightstalker is Brian Clark, or Adam Bomb. I remember seeing Nightstalker coming down the aisle and that exact camera angle watching this as a kid. I love stuff like that. Sid is a Horseman and very popular here. Test of strength to start which is won by Sid but Stalker hooks a bearhug. He talks to Sid the whole time. Clearly they’re exchanging green bean casserole recipies.

Sid pounds him into the corner and JR says this won’t be pretty. Sid’s arm is hurt and this is going nowhere. We get a rib claw and here’s Big Cat AGAIN. What is this, his 4th appearance? Sid knocks him down so Stalker brings in his ax. Yes, an ax. Sid gets it, hits Stalker with it, and gets the pin.

Rating: F. GET RID OF BIG CAT. He’s nothing interesting, he’s more boring than Big Zeke Jackson, and he’s been in half the matches tonight. Nothing to see here and a horribly bad match. Also, there’s the fact that SID HIT HIM WITH AN AX TO END THE THING. Let that sink in for a minute.

The Freebirds pat themselves on the back until the Southern Boys come up. Garvin offers to fights with an arm behind his back and here’s El Gigante to chase them off.

Missy Hyatt hypes an upcoming TV show.

We look at the Steiners attacking the Nasties earlier.

Steiner Brothers vs. Magnum Force

I can’t find who Magnum Force is anywhere. They’re one of those old school teams referred to as Magnum Force #1 and Magnum Force #2. The Steiners are the US Tag Champions but this is non-title. Scott starts with let’s say #1. The people are walking AGAIN. There has to be something to that. Rick vs. #2 in now. This is going nowhere. A quick Steiner Line ends this and the Nasties run in. Total squash and the Nasties run quickly.

The Horsemen say they’ll win. The official main event hasn’t been announced yet but it’s Flair or Arn vs. Reed or Simmons.

We recap Sting vs. Black Scorpion. The idea is that it’s someone from Sting’s past (eventually supposed to be Angel of Death, who no one was going to remember) and he’s trying to take Sting out. Sting beat a fake one at a previous Clash but the real one came down later. Then in Chicago, the Scorpion kidnapped a fan, put him in a magician’s box, and made him disappear. Then the Scorpion interrupted a title match. Tonight, they’re going to have a chat.

Sting comes out for the Danger Zone, Paulie’s talk show. He says a little bit and here’s the Scorpion to kidnap another fan. The “fan” gets a box put on his head and his “head” is spun around 360 degrees. Then he gets put in a cage and turned into a leopard. And remember, This was supposed to be the TOP HEEL ANGLE OF THE YEAR. Scorpion jumps into a box and disappears. He was narrating the thing the whole time but you couldn’t understand 90% of it.

I mean WOW. This is a fine example of what we mean by “insulting our intelligence.” This was a bad magic show, not a wrestling match. At the end of the day it wound up being Flair under the mask, which makes the whole thing even dumber. I have no idea what Ole Anderson was on when he thought this was a good idea, but man I want some of it.

We recap Doom vs. The Horsemen. They both wanted to be on The Danger Zone and it all broke down. They had a match at Halloween Havoc where it was thrown out. The aforementioned bet was made: yacht/limo vs. title shot/Teddy as a chauffeur.

All four guys come out and there are coin flips to determine who the singles guys are.

Ric Flair vs. Butch Reed

Power vs. Flair here and you know he knows how to work that match. Reed uses power and punches him out a lot. There’s the press slam and Flair is in trouble early. After a brief fight on the ramp we go back inside and Reed hooks a backslide for two. A dropkick puts Flair down but he goes to the eyes like a Horseman. He tosses Reed to the floor thanks to an accidental distraction from Simmons.

Anderson adds in some cheating on the floor but back inside they trade chops and Reed gets a slight advantage. There’s a Flair Flop and a Flair Flip, resulting in him getting popped in the face by Simmons. Flair takes over and hits a knee drop but a second one misses. Reed slaps on a figure four and Flair’s leg is in trouble.

After Flair makes the rope he avoids a middle rope elbow and Reed is in trouble. It turns into a slugout and they need to wrap this up. Reed really likes gorilla presses. He goes up top for a shoulder block but it basically hits Flair’s knee. I don’t think he was aiming for it but there you go. Reed gets sent to the floor where the referee was and everyone is down. Anderson clocks Reed with a chair and Flair steals the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the last five minutes weigh it down a bit. The ending is a big mess but the idea was that Simmons got lost in it and therefore couldn’t make a save. It’s certainly not bad and is easily the best match of the night, but to be fair given what you had up to that point, that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Decent stuff, but cutting four minutes or so off would have made it way better.

The big WCW letters are tilted to the left for some reason.

Overall Rating: D-. This is the worst kind of show: the boring kind. Other than the main event which is just ok, there’s nothing going on here worth seeing. That’s what I can’t stand reviewing: shows where it’s clear no one is giving any effort and no one wants to be there. It was a horribly dull show with nothing at all to see. Steer FAR clear of this one.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 19, 2001
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well the Invasion is over and I don’t think anyone is really complaining that it’s done. Tonight we basically hit a big reset button tonight as things get back to “normal” for the first time in months tonight. I have no idea what to expect with this show. Well ok I do as I remember watching it and the big surprise on it but it makes for a better intro if I say that. Let’s get to it.

We open with Foley and Vince on a plane earlier today. Foley says he knows that he’s getting fired, but Vince only says Have a Nice Day. That’s the last we would see of Mick Foley in the WWF/E for over a year and a half.

Here’s Vince to open the show and you know he’s happy after last night. He thanks Angle for ending the Alliance and says that ECW is dead. Until there was an opening due to high DVD sales of course. The WCW Title is now the World Championship, which is different from the WWF Championship because…..because this is called the World Championship. Also tonight, someone is going to become the inaugural member of Vince’s special club. That person gets to keep their job (along with the champions as they get to keep their jobs too).

That brings Vince to the leader of the Alliance. As soon as Austin arrives here tonight, Vince’s plans go into effect. There’s one more change: we have an empty seat on commentary. Vince brings out Paul Heyman who sits on the commentary desk, but Vince never said that Paul was the new commentator. Vince calls him into the ring and Heyman immediately starts sucking up.

McMahon says he’s a first amendment guy (Heyman: “And one of the best ever sir!”) and using his first amendment, he says that Heyman is fired. Heyman wants to fight but as the jacket comes off, Heyman runs. Heyman walks on the floor and then lunges at JR, who beats the tar out of him. Security pulls Heyman off and takes him out. Vince calls out Lawler to be JR’s partner again. That just feels right.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending after winning the title last night in a Six Pack Challenge. Last night Trish was seen coming out of the Hardys’ locker room when only Matt was in there so there’s some heat here. Trish is AWFUL at this point so don’t expect any kind of a good match here. Fifteen seconds in and they HORRIBLY botch a wristlock.

Spear gets two for Lita as does a sunset flip. Trish sends her into the middle rope for two before hitting an awkward slam. Lita hits a bad flapjack for another near fall before Trish kicks her in the chest to take over. An elbow misses for Stratus but she manages to shove Lita off the top to the floor. Trish kicks Lita into Matt so Matt throws Lita back in. Trish backslides her to retain. This was HORRIBLE.

Vince goes to see the Dudleys, Stacy, Test, Van Dam and Christian. These are the people who aren’t fired for being either champions, immune, or gorgeous. Vince punishes Van Dam for not accepting his offer to join the WWF a few months ago by making him face the Dudleys in a handicap tables match. The three of them and Stacy leave so Christian can suck up to Vinny a bit. That gets him nowhere.

Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boys

Jerry has to make up his flirting jokes about Stacy so he fires off a bunch to start. Van Dam has to fight them both off at once and makes D-Von clothesline Bubba by mistake. Rolling Thunder hits D-Von but Rob walks into a Bubba Bomb. Rob comes back by spearing Bubba into the corner, only to walk into a neckbreaker out of said corner from D-Von. Here are a pair of tables, one on the mat and one in the corner. Rob grabs a rope to avoid 3D and sends D-Von to the floor.

A kick takes Bubba down and a Van Daminator takes him down even more. D-Von comes back in and takes some kicks of his own, sending him onto a table. Van Dam goes for what would have been the longest Five Star ever, but he leaves it short (no shock) and breaks the table WITH HIS FACE. FREAKING OW MAN!!! The Dudleys pick up the dead body that used to be RVD and 3D him onto the table, as it doesn’t break. The second 3D wins it and I think Van Dam needs a doctor.

Rating: C. Van Dam has earned this rating on his own. It’s not that the Dudleys didn’t do anything, but those landings with Van Dam were SCARY, especially the Frog Splash. There was no point to this, but the handicap tables match was the signature “punishment” match in 2001. Van Dam should have gotten a bigger push in 2001.

Angle is here and he’s still smug.

Linda McMahon is at WWF New York, likely looking for Connecticut registered voters.

Angle goes in to see Rock and wants his thank you for the company still being in business. Rock isn’t amused and wants to know when Angle was planning on letting the WWF know when he was a mole. Angle spent a month blasting WWF guys with chairs but Angle says it was worth it. Rock agrees and says Angle should try to beat him up now. Angle says he’ll do it for the title. Rock will never trust either Angle or Vince again. I don’t think Rock accepted the challenge for the title match but maybe that was implied.

Shane and Stephanie arrive in a rental car. Stephanie could always make a living if she wore those dresses on the street.

Vince is in the ring again and apparently the acceptance of the match was implied as Vince says it’s happening. Austin isn’t here yet so let’s deal with his kids. Here they are and Vince says he likes hearing Stephanie called a w****. Shane tells Vince that he won and that he (Shane) lost to the better man. Shane leaves and that’s that.

Stephanie plays the daddy’s little girl card, calling herself young and naive. She blames Shane for everything that happened, including Linda getting slapped. It was Shane that made Stephanie slap Linda and tell Vince that she wanted him to die. She says she’s sorry and tries to cry. Vince calls for security and Stephanie is literally dragged away. Vince starts the goodbye song.

Jericho comes in to see Vince (notice his name coming up a lot tonight?) and Vince yells at him for putting the WWF in jeopardy last night by attacking Rock. Jericho says that it was due to his ego which Vince isn’t happy with. Vince doesn’t like big egos, but he loves MASSIVE egos. Oh and Jericho gets Kane tonight.

Mr. T. is here.

World Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

Rock is defending. Kurt gets in some early right hands to take over and Rock gets stomped. Rock comes back with punches of his own but he gets sent to the floor very quickly. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Kurt. There’s the ankle lock but Rock quickly breaks it. The countering doesn’t last long as he walks into a belly to belly to take him down again. Another belly to belly gets two and Kurt pounds away.

They’re clearly just going through the motions here but since tonight is pretty much resetting everything, it’s pretty much ok as the matches are just there to fill time until they figure out what they’re doing next. Angle goes up but gets crotched and Rock hits a belly to back superplex. Kurt clotheslines him down but Rock nips up and makes his comeback. Spinebuster looks to set up the Rock Bottom but Kurt counters into the Slam for no cover. Ankle lock is countered into a rollup for Rock to retain.

Rating: D+. Like I said they were going through the motions here and it didn’t do anything at all. They basically took the night off here and that’s ok. Angle threw in some suplexes to make it look like he was trying but they were clearly in very low gear. Angle would do nothing of note until he went to Smackdown in the Brand Split while Rock kept being Rock.

Angle attacks Rock post match and Jericho comes out to help him. Both use their submissions on Rock.

Here’s Vince for the 12^th time tonight for the Club stuff. The first inductee: William Regal. Regal offers to be a gopher for Vince but Vince says he meant the title of this club literally. Vince has Regal get on his knee and Vince takes his pants down. We’re watching one of Vince’s fantasies aren’t we? Vince takes his underwear down too and makes it dance. Oh wait Regal has to use chapstick first. Vince bends over a bit and Regal kisses it. Someone send Linda’s Senate opponent this clip NOW. The election will be over.

Regal gets laughed at by people like Taz, who still has a job because….someone help me out here. Regal slugs him.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Kane speeds things up to start and sends him into the corner. Jericho sends him into the rope and slingshots Kane’s throat into the bottom rope to take over. A swinging neckbreaker misses for the most part but we’ll count it anyway. Jericho grabs a chair which is quickly knocked out of his hand. Kane goes up and jumps into the chair for the DQ. This was nothing.

Jericho beats on Kane and puts him in the “Walls” (they couldn’t quite get it right either time they tried) and no one makes the save. Wasn’t Undertaker the one preaching about being a unit?

Creed Desire video.

Angle yells at Edge but Edge says he saved his own job by winning the IC Title last night. Edge accuses Angle of playing both sides last night. Their feud wouldn’t start for about six months if my memory is right.

William Regal vs. Taz

Taz punches, Tazmission is broken up, Regal Stretch ends this in less than a minute. Taz has a job because of being a commentator. Ok then. The arena is all smoky from Taz’s pyro.

Kurt is melancholy over not being thanked for saving the company, so Vince offers him the WWF Title.

Vince and Angle go to the ring and Vince tells the fans to thank Kurt for what he did last night. Vince says Austin can stay wherever he is because we need a dignified champion. This is a very fast heel turn by Vince who was the nicest guy in the world all night so far. Vince says that as the sole owner of the WWF, he’s going to….be interrupted by some very familiar music.

RIC FLAIR walks out (notice the location of the show) and the place goes bonkers. Vince calls Flair a has been but Flair is very happy. He says he bet on a winner last night when he bet on the WWF. Flair says Angle should win the world title in the ring like he’s capable of doing.

Vince keeps trying to get Flair out but Flair says that this morning when Shane and Stephanie sold their stock in the company (what stock? They had bought WCW and ECW, which in storylines were different companies. What stock would they still have in the WWF? I guess the idea is that Flair bought it in June, but he flat out says he bought it “this morning”. Eh it’s WWF logic so we’ll go with it) this morning, Flair bought it, so now he and McMahon are partners. The look on Vince’s face is GREAT.

Cue Austin who beats the tar out of Angle and runs him off. Flair hands Austin the title as Austin is a good guy again. A beer bash ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The only good stuff to come out of this was in the last ten minutes, but it raises A TON of questions. First and foremost, WHY DIDN’T THEY BRING FLAIR IN SIX MONTHS AGO??? A Flair owned WCW and a Heyman owned ECW (what a strange business partnership that would have been) vs. the Vince owned WWF would have been a very interesting story, but instead that whole thing is gone, it appears to be Austin vs. Vince again, and Rock vs. Jericho is going to light things on fire for awhile. That’s one heck of a reset.

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Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We’re in the final three of shows that actually exist as I’m writing this now. Tonight is a show based around the match that I’m sure you all know I love: THE TRIPLE THREAT! I mean, it’s not like you EVER see a triple threat and that it’s the most overdone gimmick match of all time which might as well be considered a regular match like a singles or tag match anymore and that you can barely go two PPVs without seeing one and that it follows the same formula in every single one of them! In case you’re stupid, I hate triple threats and both world titles are being defended in triple threats against a tag team. Let’s get to it.

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. They’re obsessed with the history of this show. Apparently the Survivor Series stopped existing outside of Undertaker after 1990. Who knew? In other words the clips of the shows stopped at 1990 and it was a regular video from there.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

Sweet goodness that’s a big disparity between the talents. We have one team where only one member is still in the company and he hasn’t been seen in ten months. Well Finlay is still in the company but he’s retired. On the other side you have four world champions and Drew McIntyre. Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre has only been around for about three months and Sheamus has only been on Raw less than a month. Morrison is IC Champion.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig Neck Snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a rana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face. There’s the hot tag to Matt (BIG pop) and a double elbow to the back of Ziggler’s head by Evan and Matt. The Side Effect sets up Air Bourne for the elimination of Ziggler, but McIntyre comes in immediately and Future Shocks Bourne to tie it back up.

Finlay charges in to fight McIntyre and hits that Regal Roll of his. Off to Sheamus and Striker goes oooo. They stare each other down but a Miz distraction allows Sheamus to Brogue Kick Finlay down for the pin. Matt comes in to pound on Sheamus but he walks into a powerslam for two for the pale one. Off to Miz who drops a leg and puts on a reverse chinlock. The Reality Check gets two and it’s off to a front facelock.

Hardy reverses but Swagger comes in and drops ax handles on his back to keep Matt in. Off to a chinlock but Matt counters into a sleeper, from which he drops Swagger onto the back of his head in a kind of neckbreaker. Hot tag brings in Morrison to speed thing up. Morrison gets sent into the post but avoids the Vader Bomb. After taking out Miz, the Flying Chuck (Disaster Kick) kills Jack for two as everything breaks down. The referee gets run over and once things calm down, Morrison hits a knee to Swagger’s chest and Starship Pain ties things up by eliminating Swagger.

Miz comes in and hits his running corner clothesline followed by a top rope double ax for two. Off to a quickly broken chinlock as it’s off to Shelton. That gold hair thing never did work for him at all. A Stinger Splash and a northern lights suplex gets two and Benjamin keeps knocking Miz away whenever Miz comes at him. A bridging German suplex gets two for Shelton as the original referee is being checked for a concussion. Sheamus breaks up a neckbreaker from Shelton and Miz hits the Finale to take out Benjamin.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Morrison starts with McIntyre and pounds away in the corner as Striker quotes Jim Morrison lyrics. Drew sends him into the corner and it’s off to Sheamus for some double stomping. Off to Miz for some trash talk followed by a slugout. Morrison takes over but it’s quickly off to Sheamus to run John over. Morrison kicks all three heels down but the flying Chuck is caught by a Brogue Kick out of the air, followed by the High Cross for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This was your typical Survivor Series match and hopefully it gives us the definitive ending to the feud between the captains. Morrison was the more athletically gifted guy, but Miz would go on to much better things. I’m not sure if it was more his talent or the complete lack of expectations for him, but Miz went miles ahead of Morrison soon after this. Sheamus would get the world title in less than a month.

Team Kofi talks strategy but Christian feels awkward among four people not like him. His partners are MVP, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth and Mark Henry. Christian says he’s the only one that’s….you know…..from ECW. The awkward responses ensue and Christian thinks they thought it was because he’s Canadian. Christian “raps” and mentions the race thing, drawing stares. Everyone eventually cracks up.

We recap Batista vs. Mysterio. They had been tag partners but Rey got pinned a few times. At Bragging Rights, Batista snapped and turned heel on Rey in one of the best heel turns in years. I love this turn because it’s so simple: Batista got tired of losing over and over and then, very calmly, he said he was going to rip Rey’s head off, and then he DID. Rey begged for mercy, but Batista kept beating on him and hurting him, turning him into a big, muscleheaded bully, which is one of the best kinds.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

That Booyaka song of Rey’s is growing on me. It’s fun to shout along with. Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

Rey kicks Batista into 619 position but Batista grabs the legs out of the air but can’t hit the Bomb yet. Mysterio sends him to the floor for a seated senton but Batista shrugs it off. Back in and Rey hits a pair of 619’s to the back and the ribs and a third to the face. Another springboard seated senton puts Batista down and Rey goes up for the Eddie dance, only to dive onto knees. Batista kills Rey with a spear and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb kills Rey but Dave won’t cover. There’s another Bomb and a third so the referee stops the match.

Rating: C+. I liked this for the story it was telling and the match wasn’t all that important. This was cool to see as Batista let out some of his anger and didn’t have to get pinned by some stupid rollup or anything like that. Sometimes you need some violence and the destruction of someone instead of them being able to stand tall. Let the bad guy win once in awhile and let him look strong. Then when someone stands up to him and beats him, they’re a hero. For some reason, this never happens anymore.

Post match Batista brings in a chair and picks up a begging Rey. He hits a spinebuster onto the chair, but the key here is the look on his face. There is no emotion on it at all and it’s like he has to do this because it’s who he is. Awesome all around. Rey is taken out on a stretcher.

Orton doesn’t like his team. Punk doesn’t really want to hear it.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, culminating in hitting a Boom Drop through a table.

Unfortunately, the beginning of this saw Kofi miss his cue and make Orton look stupid, so guess what happened to Kofi’s push at the end of this program? Since, you know, months of awesome promos and buildup and crowd reactions should be thrown away for the sake of a three second error that no one remembers. The package easily edits it out here, but hey, EVERYONE remembers EVERYTHING that happens on Raw right? That’s why everything is recapped: so EVERYONE that remember EVERYTHING can remember it even better.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Christian is ECW Champion and I think that’s the only title in this. Orton starts thinking he gets to fight Kofi but Henry starts instead. Henry throws Randy into Orton’s corner where Henry beats up all four of them. There’s a bearhug as Striker says being a Rumble winner might help Orton with strategy here. Huh? What does a battle royal have to do with an elimination tag match? Anyway, Legacy (DiBiase and Rhodes) help their I think former boss out and it’s an RKO to eliminate Henry in less than a minute.

MVP comes in and Team Orton all bails to the floor. After the quick huddle outside, here’s Orton again to face MVP but Rhodes makes a blind tag to stomp away on him. It’s quickly off to DiBiase then Regal then Punk to stomp away until Punk hooks a chinlock. MVP fights up and hits a suplex that looked like it lacked contact before bringing Truth in. Truth does his backflip into the splits but Rhodes’ distraction lets Punk hit the GTS to eliminate the rapper.

Christian comes in next to face Punk and they trade basic stuff to start. Punk gets in a knee to the ribs and it’s off to DiBiase for a middle rope elbow which gets two. Christian tries the Killswitch but walks into a powerslam instead. Dream Street and the Killswitch are both countered so Christian kicks DiBiase in the ribs and hits the spinning sunset flip out of the corner to make it 4-3.

Regal comes in immediately and gets all fired up but gets dropkicked down. There’s the tag to Kofi and things speed way up. Kofi fires off punches in the corner and but Regal fires off some punches to slow Kofi down. Off to Rhodes for more punches and kicks before Regal comes in again. MVP gets the tag and hits the Drive By (running boot to the head) to take Regal out and tie us up at three each (Kofi/MVP/Christian vs. Orton/Rhodes/Punk).

Cody comes in with a top rope cross body but MVP rolls through it for two. Rhodes gets caught in the good guy corner and it’s Canadian time as Christian pounds him into another corner. Tornado DDT is broken up and Christian is in trouble already. Cody wraps his legs around Christian as things slow down again. Off to Randy again who hits a gorgeous dropkick for two. Off to Rhodes who misses a knee drop so it’s back to MVP. It’s more basic punches and the Ballin Elbow for no cover. MVP has to knock Orton down and gets caught in Cross Rhodes to make it 3-2.

Kofi comes in and rolls up Cody for a VERY hot two count before it’s back to Christian. The Canadian works on the arm before it’s back to Kofi with a springboardy shot to the arm as well. Christian and Kofi take turns on Cody until the Killswitch takes him out. This was simple yet effective. It’s down to Punk/Orton vs. Christian/Kofi which is a spiffy little tag match.

Orton comes in to face Christian and a right hand takes Captain Charisma down. Christian has to take Punk down off the apron but still manages to avoid the RKO and hit the Killswitch for two as Punk saves. Punk distracts Christian and it’s an RKO to make it 2-1. Kofi wants Orton but Randy tags out when he sees Kingston there. Punk and Kofi stare at each other a bit before slugging it out with Kofi taking over with some HARD forearms.

The GTS and Trouble in Paradise both miss and we’ve got a stalemate. Kofi hits a big dropkick and the SOS for two. Orton is walking around on the floor as Punk takes over. Off to a leg choke which shifts to a body vice with the legs as some time is killed. Kofi fights up but a splash hits Punk’s knees.

A falcon’s arrow gets two for CM but the bulldog out of the corner is countered with a belly to back suplex. Kofi goes up and after blocking a superplex twice, a top rope cross body gets a close two. An Orton distraction prevents the Boom Drop but Kofi reverses a rollup into the pin on Punk and immediately kicks Orton’s head off for the final pin and a BIG pop.

Rating: B. This took a bit more time than it needed but the ending was perfect. It made Kofi look like a STAR….and then he lost the next month to Orton and was back in the midcard immediately after, but this was AWESOME. The other eliminations didn’t mean much and this would have been better as a 4-4 match with about three less minutes, but great ending and I was totally into the Kofi push at this point.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Hey look: the world champion is defending against a big time tag team. Jericho won at Bragging Rights and Big Show turned on Raw at the same show to get this spot. Taker is defending and he’s the only person I’ll call champion in this match even though JeriShow have the tag titles here. The challengers pound Taker into the corner with Show headbutting the champion a bit for good measure.

Taker comes back with a clothesline to send Show to the floor and goes after him instead of fighting Jericho in the ring. Odd decision but Taker is an odd guy most of the time. Taker fires away punches on the floor but Jericho pops up from out of nowhere and takes out the champ’s legs. Taker is stuck in the timekeeper’s area so the challengers lift him out of it to throw him back inside to hammer away.

Jericho misses a charge and Taker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Taker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Taker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

A chokeslam to Taker is countered into a DDT and all three guys are down. Jericho tries to cover both guys but can only get two before being launched to the floor by Big Show. Taker wins a slugout with Big Show and they both grab chokeslam grips, but it’s Jericho with a belt shot that takes Show down, possibly by mistake. Taker loads up the Last Ride on Jericho but a belt shot to the head knocks out the champion but only for two seconds. Jericho mocks the Undertaker for some reason and tries a Tombstone. Unless your name is Kane, WHY WOULD YOU TRY THAT ON UNDERTAKER???

Taker counters it but Show knocks him out. Jericho saves the pin and tries a Codebreaker on Big Show, who is like boy please. A knock out punch puts Jericho down as Taker is getting back to his feet. Show calls for the chokeslam but Undertaker pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate for the submission to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that went fine but you could have called most of the match the entire way through. Was there any doubt that Taker was going to keep the belt here and that the partners would turn on each other? That’s the problem with these kind of matches: they never take risks on the endings so it’s the same stuff over and over again.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit. They all claim to be the future.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Michelle is Women’s Champion and Melina is Divas Champion. I’m not sure if this is before of after Laycool was making fun of Mickie for being “fat”. Kelly and Layla get things going and it’s not pretty from the start. They are but the wrestling isn’t quite so smooth. Layla hits some dropkicks to the back but Kelly comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head (not the K2 but a regular legdrop) to get the quick elimination.

Off to Gail vs. Michelle and it’s a quick Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to eliminate Kim. Seriously it’s that fast. Off to Eve vs. Jillian with the singer taking over with a cartwheel splash. After some uninspired stuff, Eve pins Jillian with a top rope sunset flip and is immediately pinned herself after the Glam Slam. A second Glam Slam pins Kelly and it’s down to Mickie/Melina vs. Beth/Michelle/Alicia. Mickie comes in to fight Beth and after some forearms, a crucifix gets rid of Phoenix.

Alicia comes in next and things slow WAY down as Beth was the only girl in there that was going to be able to beat Mickie. A northern lights suplex with a GREAT bridge from Alicia gets two but Mickie backflips up from the mat into a front chancery. It’s quickly broken up but it looked awesome. Mickie comes off the middle rope with a Thesz Press for the pin to make it 2-1.

Michelle comes in and stomps on Mickie before hooking a chinlock. Mickie comes back with a forearm to the face and both chicks are down. James can’t quite make the tag so Michelle slams her down for two. There’s the hot tag to Melina who goes nuts but gets no response. Michelle suplexes her down but she puts Melina over her shoulders and gets caught in a sunset flip for the final pin.

Rating: D-. This was worthless. As in there was no value to this whatsoever. The sex appeal is going down too as most of the girls are more covered up than they were in the previous years, and when you have bad wrestling with a lack of sex appeal, the Divas matches go way down in value. The crowd didn’t care at all here either.

Batista liked hurting Rey.

No recap video for the main event, but there’s no need for one. It’s the same story as the other world title match minus the Bragging Rights parts.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. The bell rings and Shawn superkicks HHH to the floor. Cena’s reaction is great as he never saw that coming and I don’t think most people did either. The replay screws it up by showing a good three inches between Shawn’s boot and HHH’s face, but that’s normal anymore. Cena tries a fast clothesline on Shawn but gets caught in a neckbreaker instead.

John comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex but Shawn chops away in the corner. Shawn gets kicked onto the top rope where Cena tries the AA but Shawn counters into something that most resembled a DDT for two. Shawn goes for the knee and the fans think Cena sucks. There’s a Figure Four (wrong leg but Shawn is a Flair disciple) on Cena but John turns it over to escape.

Back to their feet we go and Cena’s leg seems perfectly fine. He hits a pair of shoulder blocks but a third misses and he falls to the floor. Shawn loads up the announce table as HHH is still out cold apparently. Cena pops up to try an AA through the table but HHH saves, only to hit a big spinebuster to send Shawn through the table. Back inside we have HHH pounding away on Cena as Striker CANNOT SHUT UP. He talks about how HHH is the ace of spades and all kinds of other terms that either go over most peoples’ heads or MAKE NO FREAKING SENSE. Call him HHH and be done with it you nitwit.

HHH hits a neckbreaker for two on Cena but a Pedigree attempt is countered into a slingshot into the corner. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting a shoulder to take over. There’s the ProtoBomb but as Cena goes for the Shuffle, here’s Shawn to send him into the post. It’s time for DX to explode and Shawn takes over early with an atomic drop and some chops. HHH comes back with a knee to the face but Shawn hits the forearms and nips up.

The nip up doesn’t do much good though as he is immediately caught in the spinebuster, but like Cena he escapes the Pedigree. Shawn goes up but gets crotched by Cena who goes up as well, only to miss the top rope Fameasser. Shawn hits the top rope elbow on Cena but HHH sends Shawn to the floor. There’s the STF on HHH as Cena doesn’t seem interested in selling at all in this match. As HHH is about to tap, Shawn comes in and hooks the Crossface on Cena to break the hold.

Cena pulls up from that into an AA attempt but Michaels slips down the back, only to get caught in the STF. Shawn FINALLY gets the rope and pops up to superkick Cena down. HHH charges in and takes another superkick, only to fall on Cena for a VERY close two. Cena hits an AA on HHH as Shawn gets back in after falling out after the two kicks. They both crawl for the cover and both get a two at the same time. All three guys try finishers on each other (including a piledriver attempt from Shawn) before Shawn superkicks HHH again but gets AA’d onto HHH for the pin by Cena to retain.

Rating: B. Good solid match here and WAY better than the previous one. Cena’s selling here was really surprising though as he’s not one to pull something like that. Other than that the finishers being used so often got a bit annoying, but the match felt like a big battle where anyone could have won, which couldn’t really be said about Show vs. Jericho vs. Taker. Good stuff here.

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good show but overall, it’s kind of underwhelming. The show mostly felt like it came and went and if the show happened that’s fine but if it didn’t exist that would be fine too. The triple threats didn’t work either although the main event was definitely a solid match. No need to see this, although it was good show if that makes sense.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

This is one of those shows that just doesn’t look that good. We’ve got three Survivor Series matches, a casket match between Undertaker and Show, and the two title matches. It’s the title matches where things get shaky. First of all there’s Cena vs. Jericho. In Boston. With Cena returning from injury. Then we get to the infamous part of the show: the Smackdown World Title match.

On I believe the late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, as in like 2am EST, a story broke on WWE.com, saying Jeff Hardy, one of the guys in the title match, had been found in a stairwell. I want to emphasize that THIS IS ALL THAT WAS SAID. The backlash to it was strong, with some critics saying that it was tasteless given Hardy’s drug issues. Meltzer said it was the worst promotional tactic of the year. Maybe it was just me, but I had ZERO problem with this.

Hardy’s issues had rarely if ever been mentioned on WWE TV, the article said nothing about drugs or alcohol, and it was announced like two days later that it was a physical attack. I never thought it was a drug issue until someone mentioned it to me, and even then I didn’t buy it as it was broken by WWE.com at 2 in the morning before a PPV. But hey, since the guy had issues, we can never run any kind of angle with him right? Anyway, let’s get to it.

The opening video is the EXACT SAME THING it’s been for two years. Literally, they’re the same clips before we get to the stuff about the main events.

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

I think you can figure out the feuds yourself here. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once here. MVP is in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and I believe the US Title. Rey hits a quick rana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. We hear about how great Morrison is from Striker, but unfortunately that chick Melina screwed up his future. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s off to Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Why would you turn your back when you throw Shawn over the top rope? At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn skins the cat. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard rana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. The correct chant would be “You can’t work a style we like because we think that flying around and using a lot of moves is how a wrestler’s talents are determined because we don’t know what we’re talking about!” Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker.

Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own (take that Morrison) to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 final score for lack of a better term.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

HHH doesn’t think he needs to give his opinion on the Jeff Hardy situation. Either way, Hardy will be back. Instead it’s going to be Kozlov vs. HHH. The Game (Smackdown World Champion here) says tonight is Kozlov’s first defeat.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Beth is the captain of Team Raw and McCool is captain of Team Smackdown. They’re also Women’s and Divas Champions respectively. Santino is here with Beth because awkward romances are funny right? Mickie has her signature look down now and is very bouncy. For the sake of simplicity, only Michelle McCool will be referred to as Michelle. Beth and Michelle start things off with Beth controlling via a top wristlock. Michelle uses some decent chain wrestling to set up a dropkick to send Beth backwards a bit.

Maryse tags herself in and gets in a brawl with her own partner Michelle. Team Raw: “LET THEM FIGHT!” After the brawl is broken up, it’s Beth vs. Maria with Maria avoiding a charge and hitting a slow motion headscissors. Off to Kelly vs. Maria and hopefully this doesn’t last long. Victoria tags herself in and gets caught in a rana by Kelly for the pin. Kelly tries the same thing on Maryse for two so Maryse hits a backbreaker and gets the pin.

It’s 4-4 now if you’re keeping track and Mickie comes in while swearing a bit. A Thesz Press puts Maryse down and it’s off to Michelle again. They try to bridge into a backslide, fail miserably, and try again to a standoff. McCool hits a Russian legsweep for two and Mickie hits a clothesline for the same, but Maria’s save hits McCool on the save, allowing Mickie to hit the jumping DDT and pin Michelle. Mickie gets in an argument with Beth and gets rolled up by Maryse to tie it right back up.

Off to Candice vs. Natalya and they trade some rollups for two. Natalya busts out a Sharpshooter (it is the Survivor Series after all) but Jillian makes the save. Candice hits a spear for a quick pin on Natalya and it’s 3-2. For those of you keeping track, it’s Jillian, Beth and Candice vs. Maria and Maryse.

It’s Jillian vs. Maria with Jillian getting two off a Samoan Drop. Maria grabs a quick victory roll to eliminate Jillian and ten seconds later, Candice hits a northern lights suplex to put Maria out. Maryse hooks an inverted figure four on Candice and we’re down to one on one. Maryse gets in a few shots and a rollup but the Glam Slam gets the final pin very quickly.

Rating: D. As decent as last year’s was, this felt like your traditional Divas match. You had some decent workers but most of the girls are models who are there because of how they look in swimsuits. I’ve seen worse matches and the right choice was the survivor, but this just didn’t work for the most part.

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object. There. Controversy over. I’m sorry you had to suffer for less than a day you whiny people.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Show isn’t scared of Undertaker so he’ll win the casket match tonight.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Casket match if that wasn’t clear or if you’re an idiot that needs everything spelled out for you. The casket gets the full druid entrance. I wonder if those guys hang out at catering after this. Show took all of 2007 off and lost a ton of weight so he’s still kind of slim here. Well slim for him that is. They have a nice casket this year too. I don’t think the bell rang but Show starts throwing punches anyway. One misses and Taker tries to dump him into the casket to no avail.

They head to the floor and Undertaker’s headbutt has no effect. Show pounds away at the ribs and rams Taker face first into the announce table to daze Undertaker. The announce table gets loaded up but Show headbutts him instead of putting Taker on the table. Taker grabs one of those big monitors WWE uses (you would think they would have upgraded by this point wouldn’t you? They still use those things in 2012 I believe) and bashes Show’s head in a few times with it. Taker drops a BIG leg to put Show through the table in the big spot of the match.

Very slowly we start heading back to the casket but take a detour back into the ring instead. Old School is countered and things slow down again. There’s a side slam from Show as the crowd is a lot less interested than they were when Undertaker was on offense. The casket it opened and Taker is put inside, but Show has to close the casket himself. Since Show won’t close the lid, Taker comes back with a bunch of punches and the jumping clothesline. Show hits a big elbow in the corner to slow down Taker (and the crowd) again. For some reason Show loads up a Vader Bomb when Taker is half up and gets chokeslammed down.

The casket is opened again and a big boot to the side of Show’s head knocks him inside, but Show blocks the lid from being shut again. Back in and Show hits the chokeslam….then destroys the casket. Show starts walking away and there’s a wall of fire to stop him from leaving. Taker goes after him and gets punched down again, but here are more druids with another casket.

Show punches Taker a bit more and stands the casket up so he can ram Taker into it and knock both of them down. The casket is stood up again but it’s open this time. Taker punches Show to the edge of the stage before whipping Show into the casket, causing it to fall and shut to give Taker the win.

Rating: D. This is a horrible casket match by some people but it’s really not that bad. It’s certainly a bad match but the ending was kind of creative and what are you expecting from Taker vs. Big Show? They’re going to hit each other a lot and it’s going to be slow, so why do people act surprised when any match with either of these two or Kane is the same formula? Not a good match but it’s definitely not terrible.

Carlito and Primo hit on the Bellas but can’t tell them apart. In something I never thought I’d have to say again, the Gobbledygooker pops up and the Colons think it’s Charlie Haas, but of course he pops up in the room and the Gooker is played by the Boogeyman. This would be another pointless segment.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to be team captain but his team will win anyway. He implies Cody is the weak link of the team. Cody says that if Randy is eliminated first, it’s addition by subtraction. The team has to hold them apart.

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Shelton is US Champion, Matt is ECW Champion and Punk/Kofi are Raw tag champions. Yeah that didn’t last long. Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away all slow like.

Henry apparently gets tired after a few seconds so here’s Cody. Matt comes in, does nothing of note, and tags in Truth who pounds away. Striker talks about what a killing Truth is making as we can hear a lot of spots being called here tonight. I don’t know if the ring is mic’d loudly or what but you can hear all kinds of stuff here. Batista comes in and everybody runs until it’s only Cody left to face him. Ok make that Shelton actually. Batista takes him down with ease and gets two via a powerslam. Off to Matt vs. Randy as things speed up. A bulldog gets two for Matt but a moonsault misses.

It’s off to Henry who lost the ECW Title to Hardy a few months ago. Cody comes in and chokes a bit but there’s the double tag to Truth vs. Shelton. A victory roll gets two for Truth and he does his backflip into the splits spot. The spinning forearm misses completely and Paydirt (the same move Truth now calls Little Jimmy) gets the pin for Shelton. Kofi immediately comes in with a springboard cross body for two and a dropkick to put Shelton down.

The Boom Drop gets another two for Kofi but Henry blasts Kofi in the back of the head. Henry comes in legally now for more quick pounding and it’s finally off to Orton. Orton does his really slow stomp but the knee drop misses. Randy drapes him over the top rope and hits the Elevated DDT for the elimination. Punk is immediately waiting on Orton as Randy is the guy that cost Punk the world title at Unforgiven. Orton gets beaten up for a few moments but gets in a rake to the eyes and tags out to Cody.

Rhodes works on the arm for a bit but gets caught by the knee and bulldog combo for two. Punk goes up but Manu (the other member of Legacy who kind of sucked) distracts him long enough for Cody to shove him off the top. A DDT eliminated Punk quickly and we’re down to….4-2 I think? It’s Batista/Matt vs. Orton/Cody/Henry/Benjamin. Matt comes in and hits a quick Side Effect for two on Rhodes but it’s quickly back to Henry. Matt hits an elbow to the back of Henry’s head and manages to pull off the Side Effect for two. That’s about it for Hardy as the World’s Strongest Slam takes him out, leaving Batista all alone.

Big Dave immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Rating: B. This was a kind of throwback to the old school Survivor Series matches where the numbers finally caught up with the big face and he got beat. Orton vs. Batista was one of the big matches that WWE never really got to do on the scale I think they were hoping for. They would have a long match next month at Armageddon but that’s hardly the second main event at Wrestlemania which they were capable of having. Still though, good stuff here and the best match of the night by far.

Kozlov says he’ll win.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

The recap video is pretty pointless now because the video is mostly about Jeff. Kozlov is here because HHH wanted to have some big epic match with him that no one but him was interested in. Jeff is here because he keeps getting so close to winning the title so EVIL Vickie wouldn’t let him in the match. Jeff invaded the contract signing and beat up a lot of people until he was put in the match.

Then HHH decided he didn’t want to put Hardy over for the title so we needed a transitional champion, which is why the stairwell thing happened. HHH is kind of a jerk like that.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

After the big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans chant USA of course and for once it’s actually appropriate. Kozlov, the amateur wrestler/combat sports expert, takes it to the mat with amateur stuff. Now remember that, because it’ll become important later. HHH gets on the mat with him and hooks a headlock. The fans now chant boring as we hit a standoff. Now they want Hardy. Well to be fair they only paid for him, so why should HHH not wanting to drop the title matter?

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vlad sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Back in and a fallaway slam gets two for the challenger and he fires some shoulders to the ribs. A powerslam gets another two and it’s off to a body grip to slow things down even more. Kozlov hits a pair of backbreakers for two and it’s back to that grip. HHH comes back with some right hands but gets powerslammed down for another two. A comeback by HHH is countered into a belly to belly as Taz says Kozlov is going to win, further dooming him to lose. HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere and here’s Vickie.

She says he’s here and makes it a triple threat, with the third man being the returning Edge. Edge does the psycho eyes on the way to the ring and I think a cameraman fell off the ramp as he was filming. Edge spears down HHH and here’s Jeff Hardy to destroy the Canadian. His chair shot hits HHH though, allowing Edge to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: D. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, as usual I disagree with his highness Dave Meltzer, who said this was the worst match of the year. It’s arguably not even the worst match of the show, but think about this for a minute: are you telling me there isn’t some terrible Divas match somewhere in the year worse than this? Or that Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino at Cyber Sunday was indeed better? He gave worst match of the year to Hardy vs. Sting in 2011, so apparently length doesn’t mean anything.

This match was indeed bad, but let’s think about this for a minute. Kozlov is supposed to be a combat sports expert and an amateur wrestler. So what did he do? HE WRESTLED LIKE HIS CHARACTER IS SUPPOSED TO! Now was it boring? Absolutely. Was it a REALLY stupid move to put him in a world title match? Absolutely. Were the fans interested? Not at all. If you want proof, back at Cyber Sunday the options for the title match were HHH vs. either guy, or a triple threat. The results were as follows:

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Based on that alone, it’s clear that almost no one wanted to see HHH vs. Kozlov. The interest just wasn’t there, so they booked a triple threat instead which there was interest in. Then they screw the fans out of their money by taking Jeff out of the match because of whatever their reasoning was. Then they flip the fans off AGAIN by having Hardy run in at the end. Hardy would pin Edge in another triple threat the next month to win the title in a shocker. Why this match didn’t happen here is beyond me, but again it’s screwing the fans out of what was advertised until the night before the show.

At the end of the day though, no one bought Kozlov as a real threat to the title. The guy just wasn’t going to be WWE Champion with the response he got, which is why Hardy was the interesting factor in this match. Without him, you have twelve minutes of your time being wasted until the ending, which SHOULD HAVE BEEN HARDY. Anyway, nothing to see here but it’s not the worst match of the year.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. Jericho snuck into the Scramble match last month and stole the world title while Cena was on the shelf. Tonight, Cena returns from a neck injury to challenge for the title. In his hometown. Against a guy that has literally only beaten him once. And we’re supposed to expect Jericho to have a chance because we’re supposed to ignore all that stuff.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Cena almost immediately tries the FU but Jericho bails to the apron. Jericho comes back with a headlock which works on the neck followed by a shoulder block to take Cena to the floor. John holds his neck a lot and looks shaken. Back in and Cena pounds away in the corner as they’re hitting hard but the pace of the match is pretty slow if that makes sense. Jericho takes over and things continue to go slowly.

Cena comes back with the Throwback and goes up for the Fameasser but comes down because that’s the move that hurt his neck in the first place. Jericho takes over again and things go slowly. He kicks Cena in the side of the head which is good for a nine count from the referee. Back in and Cena slugs away but gets sent right back to the floor. Jericho throws him into the steps and heads back in for a neck crank.

After the hold is broken, it’s time for more choking followed by a full nelson. The hold lasts almost a minute and a half but Cena blocks the bulldog. A shoulder puts Jericho down but the second shoulder hits. Jericho misses the Lionsault but the Shuffle is countered into the LIONTAMER! Cena escapes the hold so Jericho puts on the regular Boston Crab instead. Cena (as in the hold lasted a minute plus) grabs the rope to escape. Back up and Cena hits an FU out of nowhere but can’t follow up.

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine, but there was less drama in this than in a Donald Duck cartoon. At the end of the day, Cena does not lose to Jericho and he does not tap out no matter what. The wrestling was fine and it told a story and all that jazz, but I’d rather have a main event where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen than a match being designed for Cena to have everything come together and win and then everything coming together for Cena to win.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been doing so many of these lately, but this wasn’t the most interesting show in the world. It was dull at times and almost felt like a chore to sit through. The first hour or so is WAY worse than the rest of the show, but even the last two thirds aren’t all that great. This didn’t work that well and it’s not something I want to see again.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

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