I’ll keep this one simple: today is Ric Flair.

I usually use a timeline format for these things, but Flair is one of those guys where you just can’t do that. Instead I’ll just be listing off about twelve matches and their brief backstory with no timeline or real rhyme or reason other than it’s a great match. This is by no means meant to be definitive because that’s just not realistic. It’s also not chronological so expect to jump around a lot.

We’ll start in Canada in October 1992, where Flair was sick and a new champion was needed. Enter a certain Canadian sensation.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

For reasons never quite explained, this was never shown on TV but instead only aired on a home video called Smack Em Whack Em. It’s just such an odd decision, especially when the goal is to make Bret to be the next big deal for the company. For the life of me I don’t know what they were thinking bu there it is. More or less this was the token world title match you got at the end of the show because you needed a main event even though it meant nothing at all.

The announcers talk about what a great match Bret vs. Perfect would be. I’m not sure why they’re talking about it in a hypothetical sense when the match had already happened. The opening of the match is mainly a headlock by Flair with Bret not being able to get much control at all. Bret comes back with a hammerlock but gets whipped hard into the corner to put him back down. Bret is brimming with confidence here as he stomps on Flair’s stomach. Flair bails to the floor for a breather before coming back in for a top wristlock.

They’ve been going about four minutes but Gorilla thinks it’s been ten. You can see Bret limping a lot as his ankle must be bothering him, especially since Flair hasn’t done any leg work at all. Bret takes him down into an armbar and cranks away for a good while. Flair sends him to the apron but gets caught in a sunset flip. In the continuation of a running joke, Flair has his trunks pulled down, exposing the back half of himself. Why this happened so many times over the year is beyond me.

Flair bails to the floor again before coming back inside and whipping Bret hard into the corner. A few hard right hands to the face have Bret in trouble but he avoids a knee drop. Bret goes after the knee now to put Flair in trouble all over again. There’s a Figure Four by Bret to insult Flair a little bit. Flair finally makes the rope and gets caught in a backslide for two. The champion gets in another right hand to take over before things slow down again.

A small package gets two for Flair as does a butterfly suplex. The knee drop hits this time but Flair hurts his own knee in the process. Flair hooks the Figure Four and Bret is in real trouble now. He finally turns it over to escape but is still in a lot of trouble. Flair stays on the bad leg but can’t hook the Figure Four. Bret charges into a boot in the corner but pops up fast enough to slam Flair off the top (a Flair trademark). Bret starts his comeback with a Russian legsweep and a middle rope elbow for two. A superplex puts Flair down and just like that it’s the Sharpshooter for the submission and the title, SHOCKING the crowd.

Rating: A. Like I said, there was almost no way this wasn’t going to be great. This was a great example of making someone into a new champion as Flair put Bret over clean in the middle of the ring after a twenty five minute plus masterpiece. They made a new star here and that was desperately needed given the changing of the guard.

In 1989 Flair was thinking about jumping to the WWF, but new booker George Scott brought in Ricky Steamboat for a legendary series of matches, including my favorite from Chi-Town Rumble for Flair’s title.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat comes out with his wife and son. Flair comes out with a band, his theme song and six women. Never let it be said that he didn’t live up his gimmick. Matsuda is here again. Steamboat gets a shoulder block for a very fast two. In another nice move, Flair drops down for Steamboat to run over him but Steamboat drops down to grab a headlock. Flair hits the floor as he isn’t sure what to make of this speed.

Back in Flair fires a chop and Steamboat is like I can do that too and chops even harder. Steamboat grabs the headlock and takes Flair to the mat with ease. Flair keeps rolling him up for two counts. We hear about how they had different backgrounds, ranging from blue collar to white collar. They chop it out and MAN are those loud. Flair takes a double chop for two and bails for a bit.

Steamboat chops him to the floor so Flair slows things down again. A hip toss and headscissors get two. They speed things up and Flair takes him down with an elbow. Steamboat is all like HI YAH and chops him to the floor. Out to the floor and Flair takes over with his nefarious means. These shots are HARD. Things slow down and Flair takes over, dropping the knee for two.

Butterfly suplex gets two. They chop it out again and there’s the Flair Flip. Ric comes off with a cross body but Steamboat rolls through for two. The crowd is eating this up. Flair hits an atomic drop and grabs the Figure Four out of nowhere. A huge Steamboat chant breaks out and Steamboat is tapping, but we’re about four and a half years from that meaning anything in America.

Steamboat has been in the hold for about two minutes now but Flair gets caught grabbing the ropes and Young breaks the hold. Steamboat fires off even more chops but Flair hits a cross body to put them both on the outside. A suplex back in gets a few two counts for the champ. Belly to back gets two and Steamboat grabs a rollup for two. They do the backslide counter into the bridge but Steamboat stops in the middle with the butterfly suplex for two.

Flair keeps trying to come back and control but a clothesline and a chop takes him down again. This is incredibly fast paced. Top rope chop puts Flair down and the cross body hits but Young goes down as well. Flair gets a cradle with tights for no cover. Steamboat misses another cross body and Flair tries the Figure Four but Steamboat rolls him up for the pin as Teddy Long runs in to count the fall and give Steamboat his only world title.

Rating: A+. I’ve heard about how great these Flair vs. Steamboat matches are and this is my favorite of them. They did not stop for over twenty minutes and the result is a classic war where Steamboat outsmarted Flair at the end in a clean finish. Those are some of the loudest chops you’ll ever hear and it’s a great match as a result. Excellent stuff.

In 2005, HHH returned from injury and turned on his mentor Ric Flair in a tag team match. Flair would face HHH at Taboo Tuesday 2005 and demanded that it be inside a cage.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. HHH

Flair is champion here and while HHH said it was mediocrity for Flair, he doesn’t mind trying to win the title. Some have called this Flair’s last great match, although I think that was before the Shawn match at Mania. It’s pin/submission/escape here. HHH sits on top of the cage to do the water spit. For some reason I can’t take this serious as a blood feud considering Flair is all in pink. Ah good the tights are black and the boots are red. I can live with that.

Flair drops a very audible F Bomb and says give me your best freaking shot. Chops vs. punches begin here and HHH is in trouble, although it’s a minute in so far. Flair can really only throw chops here but then again it’s relatively early in it. He’s the first one to go into the cage and he’s of course busted badly. I love when he’s on the mat and screaming for mercy. It’s hilarious for some reason.

HHH rakes his face across the steel and is in complete control here. With Flair leaning against the cage, HHH hits a running splash. Yes that’s correct and it looked painful. Flair is bleeding a gusher and the fans begin to cheer for him. Both guys get crotched as Flair stops HHH from leaving. HHH gets a chain from somewhere which I think he had stashed on the cage.

It’s been about 80/20 HHH in control thus far. Flair can curse with the best of them. HHH gets the Figure Four on Flair as this is probably going to go for a long time. The third F Bomb in about twelve minutes is uttered and Flair gets to the ropes for the break. Yep in a cage match. I can’t stand rules like that at times. HHH gets busted open and it wakes Flair up somehow.

This is a bloodbath for the most part and some idiot has to chant boring despite this being a good match so far. Flair goes after the bad knee of HHH that was torn up in 2001. Flair gets the Figure Four and HHH is in trouble. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Flair looks horrible as the hold is broken. He hits the top rope shot, which is a jumping chop/punch.

Flair almost gets out but is stopped, not before he gets a chair though. He did this last year and I never got why. Flair grabs HHH by the balls to stop a beatdown though. That’s always an odd move. Some chair shots to the head of HHH and Flair actually wins this clean. He looks mostly dead but he won it.

Rating: B. I can’t go higher than that for some reason but this was a great match. It was old school Flair here as he just went insane to beat HHH here which isn’t something you see out of him in this era. This was a very old school style match where it was more about violence than escape or anything like that.

The idea was for Flair to get one last hurrah, but it kind of makes HHH look pathetic that he can’t beat Flair at this age. Still though, by far the best match of the night. HHH gets cheered as he’s carried out.

Flair main evented the first ever Starrcade in a steel cage against Harley Race in what was one of the few torch changing matches of all time.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Harley Race

 

The entrances take a LONG time, especially when you compare them to the other intros tonight. Wait has anyone else had an intro tonight? I don’t think they have actually. Flair has a long light sequence with his legendary music (the song playing in the gorilla sequence from 2001: A Space Odyssey) playing in the background. Former world champion Gene Kiniski is guest referee for no apparent reason and this is inside a steel cage. Race is a seven time and reigning champion and Flair is a two time champion so these are both seasoned veterans.

 

They talk trash to each other to start before Flair takes him down with a headlock takeover. Race sends him into the ropes for a knee to the ribs but Kiniski pulls them apart. Ric snapmares him down into a chinlock which transitions into a headlock. Race fights up and hits a high knee, only to have a falling headbutt hit the canvas. Flair goes back to the headlock and cranks away on it on the mat but has to shift over into a front facelock.

 

Race escapes but misses a big elbow drop, only to fall on Flair for two during a slam attempt. Race drops a knee on the forehead and it’s Flair in trouble this time. Kiniski pulls Race off again so Harley opts to hit Ric in the ear instead. A piledriver puts Flair down but Race drops an elbow before covering. Race stays on the neck which is logical given the piledriver that put Flair out earlier in the year. The champion drives some knee into the back of the neck before sending Flair head first into the cage. That’s the first time it’s been used and we’re about ten minutes into the match.

 

We go to that overhead camera shot again as Race hits what looks like a shoulder breaker for two. A falling headbutt has Flair in trouble again as does being slammed face first into the cage. Another shot into the steel has Flair in trouble and Race is in full control. The referee pulls Race off Flair for the third time but this time he yells at Flair as well. Ric is busted open now.

 

Flair tries a headbutt get gets raked in the eyes to bring him down again. Now Ric blocks a ram into the cage and sends the champion in to get his first advantage in a long time. A knee to Race’s head gets two and Harley is busted open as well. Flair hits a piledriver of his own but Race’s afro protects him, meaning Flair only gets two. There’s a butterfly suplex for two for Flair and he sends Race head first into the cage again.

 

Race is in trouble but comes back with a headbutt which looked very low and Flair is in trouble as a result. Kiniski interferes AGAIN before Race throws Flair into the cage. Flair loads up a punch but Gene pulls the arm back because that’s illegal. IN A CAGE MATCH. Ric gets ticked off and pounds away on the champion but Kiniski breaks up the strut. Flair puts on the Figure Four but Race turns it over, which is apparently a big deal at this time.

 

Race headbutts out of the corner but Flair falls on top during a suplex attempt. The champion slams him down and drops a middle rope headbutt but stuns himself in the process. A suplex gets two more for Race and there is blood EVERYWHERE. Race pounds away and Kiniski has a problem with that too. Harley shrugs off some Flair punches and sends him into the cage before choking away with his boot.

 

Flair counters a suplex into one of his own as the back and forth control continues. A big elbow drop misses Race and both guys are down. Flair has been in such a fight that he’s gone from covered in blood to clean again to bloody again. Race accidentally knocks the referee down and in a famous but odd ending, Flair goes up top and hits a cross body, sending Race falling over the kneeling Kiniski for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: A. This is the definition of an old school fight. While it was pretty clear that Flair was going to win, it wasn’t a complete lock which made the match that much more interesting. The only slight flaw is the ending as the Kiniski stuff really wasn’t needed and the build wasn’t all that strong. Still though, this was a bloody and violent match between two of the best ever. Great stuff.

Flair’s next feud after Steamboat was with the wild man Terry Funk, culminating in an I Quit match at Clash of the Champions IX.

Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk

 

The only way to win is to make the other man say he quits. Funk offers Flair a chance to leave right now but Ric is ready to go. A quick chop sends Terry out to the floor and Ric is right out after him with more chops before heading back inside. Back in and they just start choking each other with Funk getting the better of it. A headbutt knocks Flair down onto the apron and they head to the aisle where Funk hammers away even more.

 

Terry asks Flair if he quits so Flair takes the skin off Funk’s chest with a chop. Back in and Terry pounds away at Flair’s head and asks him again to no avail. A swinging neckbreaker drops Flair but he grabs Terry’s throat and chops away. They head outside again with Ric in control and shoving Gary Hart out of the way. Inside again and Flair demands that Funk quit but he has to watch out for Hart, allowing Funk to get in a cheap shot.

 

Funk yells at Flair about the broken neck before nailing him with the piledriver. Flair still refuses to quit so Funk piledrives him on the floor as well. Ric won’t quit yet and Funk is getting frustrated. He throws Flair back through the ropes and sets up a table, only to have Flair ram him face first into it to change momentum. Flair gives up on the wrestling and just dives on Funk before throwing him across the table. Terry gets dropped throat first across the barricade and Ric is starting to take his time.

 

Back inside and Ric starts in on the leg as only he can but makes sure to throw in some chops for good measure. A suplex puts Terry down but he goes to the eyes to prevent the Figure Four. Flair suplexes him over the top and down onto the apron before finally getting the Figure Four. Funk screams never before finally quitting to end the feud.

 

Rating: A+. This is an absolutely outstanding brawl with both guys being out to hurt the other. The match was about respect which is much more important than the title. Both guys looked crazy out there and it was almost impossible to believe that either of them was going to ever quit. Flair was a mad man out there though and he’s as good as anyone when he hits that level.

In 1994, Hulk Hogan invaded Flair’s WCW and received a shot at Flair’s WCW World Title in his first match at Bash at the Beach 1994.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Again, they’re actually doing this in his first match with the company. Mr. T. is with Hogan for absolutely no apparent reason. Hogan’s arms have shrunk insanely now to the point that he looks like he MIGHT weigh 260. Hogan drops Flair then Flair shoves him back to the corner but that doesn’t last because Hogan has to dominate all. I really can’t believe this is his first match in the company.

The stupidity of that astounds me to this day. The fans are way into this of course, which is impressive as they didn’t really build to it at all. Naturally for about five minutes or so, the world champion who I believe held it for over a year three times or so is destroyed. Ah thank goodness: we’re doing the Flair formula and not the Hogan one, although I have a bad feeling it’s going to be a hybrid of the two instead.

Flair works on the bad knee and takes control while trying in vain for the submission that will never come. The announcers are of course biased which can get a bit annoying but it’s something you get used to over the years. Sherri and Hart interfere a bunch and nothing comes of it. Throughout the match Hogan’s length of time between matches grows from about 14 months to three years.

Don’t you just love the over the top aspects of WCW’s commentary? Sherri pulls the referee out because we need more time and to go over the top here to make sure that this has the “big match feel” to it or something like that. Referee number two comes out to check on the figure four which Flair of course puts on the wrong leg. Naturally that’s not the ending either. Hogan Hulks Up and I wonder why Flair doesn’t run here. I’ve never gotten that.

When Hogan is up and going insane, why not just hit the floor and wait about three minutes? Heenan says this is the greatest match either of them have ever had. It’s not even the best match they’ve both been in at the same time that Heenan has called. Sherri misses a splash and Hogan puts him in the figure four. Flair is all like boy please and just moves Hogan’s leg off of his which I don’t think was supposed to be on camera.

Mr. T. grabs Sherri to validate his paycheck. An illegal object nails Hogan and he of course no sells it. Hulk Up time and the usual finishes. Naturally Hogan, the new world champion wouldn’t wrestle at the next PPV. Why should he do that? We have the NASTY BOYS to main event the thing. Heenan’s recapping of it is great as he breaks into tears. He came to WCW to get away from Hogan and he’s world champion all over again. Bobby, that’s two ham sandwiches I owe you now.

Rating: B-. This was fine. Flair and Hogan usually put on good matches, but did they need to do this in the first match? Imagine the money they would make from having Flair cheat to win here and hold the title until maybe STARRCADE, you know, the BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR. Naturally we can’t do that though because we need to have Beefcake get a title shot there while Flair doesn’t even wrestle.

Hogan beats Flair in his traditional fashion here, showing that even though he hasn’t wrestled in over a year (or three depending on who you ask apparently) he can beat Ric Flair, the world heavyweight champion, despite interference and foreign objects. Sure, why not.

Over the years Ric Flair was the leader of the Four Horsemen and had Arn Anderson at his side as the second banana. The question came up of what would happen if they fought, and we got to find out at Fall Brawl 1995.

Ric Flair vs. Arn Anderson

Ok, now this is actually cool. Arn always dominated the lower card to midcard while Flair was always world champion. Why did Arn never get a shot? Something interesting to note is a Flair 3:16 sign in the crowd a full 9 months before Austin gave him famous speech. A bunch of wrestlers are here to watch this. For old school fans, this is a very odd match indeed. It’s scary how much darker Anderson is than Flair.

Heenan says Flair has been a jerk. Now that’s not something you’ll hear often. Anderson goes to the arm which is his normal thing. And let’s blame Hogan for this to make sure he’s mentioned in most of if not all of the segments. This is a very slow start but that’s all fine and good I think. This is a huge match that can do what it wants.

They get a lot of counters and technical stuff in there as the announcers ask why Arn never got a shot. Oh and they try to make it sound like WCW was the company that went worldwide first. I’ll let them have that because even they can’t believe that one. They simply can’t. Arn gets a weak sleeper as the fans don’t know who to cheer for here. It never ceases to amaze me how simple things like arm work can do so much for a match.

Ok again Tony says that Flair is Arn’s cousin. This is a common thing to be said and for the maybe 3 people that don’t know otherwise, it’s true. Flair is Anderson’s cousin by way of their aunt Clotilda. Not true but I wanted to work the name Clotilda into a review for various psychotic reasons. Flair was often billed as a cousin to the Andersons back in the old days as a way to validate them being partners. That’s where that comes from.

It really is cool to see two guys that know each other this well FINALLY have a match. Flair goes up and actually gets his shot. That’s amazing to say the least. Heenan gets on too much of a rant and says that if Flair gets the figure four on then the referee will have to stop it and if Arn DDTs Flair….well that’s another story but neither guy will give up. That got a laugh out of me.

The knee drop completely misses but is sold anyway. Arn just goes off on Flair in the corner and it’s awesome. I love how sometimes Bobby gets on a roll and Tony has to just ignore him due to how out of left field some of the stuff is. Flair takes over for awhile with his usual stuff. There’s a feeling to this match that you just don’t get that often. Flair gets stuck in the Tree of Woe and Arn chokes away.

It’s hard to tell if Arn is being evil or if he hates Flair. DDT is blocked. Arn calls a spot to Flair on a two count. Figure Four is almost on but Arn blocks the leg. Never mind it didn’t work. Flair spits at him and Arn is FIRED UP. Crowd is WAY into this.

With Arn holding his knee, Brian Pillman of all people gets up on the apron and they trade punches. Pillman kicks him in the back of the head and Flair staggers into the DDT for the pin. This would be explained in solid detail, especially at Halloween Havoc so I’ll spare you the spoilers.

Rating: A-. Just a great match that felt like a bit match. Did you really expect this match to not rock? It was as great as you would expect it to be as Arn got to show that he could have a great match against a guy like Flair and beat him. That’s something he never really got to do and it needed to happen. Great match.

Speaking of the Horsemen, they were involved in the first WarGames match at the 1987 Great American Bash.

Dusty Rhodes/Road Warriors/Nikita Koloff/Paul Ellering vs. Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon

The Horsemen in this case are Flair, Anderson, Blanchard, Luger and JJ Dillon. Flair’s music is epic as they crank the music WAY up. This is the Atlanta main event and it’s the debut of WarGames. For those of you uninitiated, WarGames is the mother of all gimmick matches. You have two teams of five and each team sends in a member. Those two fight for five minutes and there’s a coin toss.

The winning team gets to send in the third man to have a 2-1 advantage. That lasts two minutes and then the team that lost the toss gets to send in its second man to tie it at 2-2. That lasts two minutes then the team that won the toss sends in its third man. You alternate like that every two minutes until it’s 5-5 and then it’s first submission. No pins allowed.

Arn and Dusty start us off and remember this can’t end until all ten are in. There are two rings side by side with one huge cage over them if I didn’t mention that. They feel each other out a lot as they’re not entirely sure what to do here. Dusty walks on the second rope and then swings across the top of the cage to kick him in the ribs. Now they’re going and Dusty pounds away including a low blow which is perfectly legal.

There’s a DDT by Dusty and the crowd is red hot. Arn is cut open about two and a half minutes in so Dusty rakes it across the cage wall. Everyone hates everyone on the other team so this is a huge blood feud all around. Dusty sends him into the cage and has dominated the entire time. After a quick comeback by Arn Dusty gets his bad Figure Four on and then lets go of it because….well just because I guess.

The Horsemen win the toss (the faces literally never won the thing) and it’s Tully in next. The Horsemen beat him down but Dusty is booking so he knocks them both down with elbows. And scratch that as Tully gets in a knee shot and the double teaming begins. Tully puts on a Figure Four as they work over the knee. The clock seems to skip ahead a bit (no sign of clipping though) and Animal comes in to tie it up.

He starts launching Horsemen everywhere and sets Tully up for a slingshot which he rams three straight times. Shoulder block takes Tully down and Dusty destroys Anderson. I think Blanchard is busted and he gets double teamed a bit. Anderson looks dead. Animal is like screw that and rams him into the cage a few times. Flair is in to make it 3-2 and chops at Animal which doesn’t work. The number catch up with him as Anderson is back up quickly.

Sorry for a lot of play by play here but it’s the only thing you can do in matches like this one. Animal is busted. Dusty tries to fight back but he’s almost on his own. The fans are so loud that you can’t hear Tony and Jim. Dusty is bleeding and here comes Nikita. Flair grabs him as he comes in but the power of RUSSIA breaks up the Horsemen. The double ring thing here is very nice as they have room to move around. Animal sends Flair into the cage and he’s bleeding now. Dusty is gushing blood.

Nikita and Dusty work on the knee of Anderson but Nikita goes to get Tully stuck between the two rings and hits him between the ropes in a slingshot thing. Flair begs off Nikita and that doesn’t end well for the champ. A double dropkick puts Anderson down and here’s Lex. This is literally non-stop. Powerslam plants Koloff and Lex is dominating. There’s a spike piledriver to Nikita and then a second one just to kill him deader than dead. The Horsemen are in control but they’re starting to fall from exhaustion and blood loss.

Here’s Hawk and the fans erupt all over again. He destroys everything in sight and if you’re not bleeding already you will be now. Nikita’s neck is messed up and he can barely stand. JR is in Heaven with this much carnage. Flair gets a Figure Four on Dusty but it doesn’t count yet. The Horsemen only have JJ Dillon left and he’s a manger. He goes after Hawk and that’s just dumb.

Flair saves JJ’s life and they’re getting tired. Flair is bleeding a ton as if you expected anything else. JJ is taking a beating but Animal is getting triple teamed. Here’s Ellering to get us all tied up and now the match can end. Ellering has an LOD spiked pad on his arm. Dillon is bleeding BAD so Ellering JAMS THE SPIKE INTO HIS EYE. The LOD circles in on Dillon as the rest of the team runs interference. The Warriors spear his head into the cage and load up the Doomsday Device. JJ lands on his shoulder, legitimately hurting it. With Animal running interference, Hawk beats him half to death until he gives up to finally end this.

Rating: A+. This runs 26 minutes and there is literally no stopping in the whole thing. There isn’t some period where they chill because they’ve done enough. This is about brutality and violence and it works very well. There’s a ton of blood and JJ looks like he fell out of a building (for some reason in wrestling attire) at the end of it. It’s well worth seeing and still works today. Great match.

Flair’s “retirement” match was at Wrestlemania XXIV and culminated something resembling a retirement tour where he would retire after his next loss. Flair challenged Shawn Michaels to a match and got his wish.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get the advantage. A hip toss puts Shawn down and Ric shouts about being Old Yeller, which Shawn referenced to set this up. Shawn chops him hard and Flair’s lip is bleeding. They slug it out in the corner with Shawn taking over and going up top, only to be slammed down. Now Flair goes up and hits a cross body for two. Jerry: “IT ACTUALLY WORKED!”

Ric goes after the knee but Shawn kicks him to the floor. Shawn loads up an Asai Moonsault and hits table, landing square on the edge ribs first. That looked HORRIBLE and Shawn is in big trouble. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Flair. Naitch stays on the ribs and hits a good looking suplex for two. Shawn comes back with a backdrop to send Flair to the floor and follows up with a moonsault which mostly hits floor.

Both guys make it back inside at nine and they chop it out. The forearm and nipup connect and Shawn starts slugging away. A slam sets up Shawn’s top rope elbow but it hurts his ribs in the process. Michaels tunes up the band but can’t bring himself to do it, allowing Flair to grab the Figure Four which is quickly broken. They fight to the mat and try Flair’s bridge up out of a pinfall into the backslide but Ric is just too old.

Instead it’s a sunset flip for two for Shawn but Flair takes out the knee with a chop block. The Figure Four is countered into an inside cradle for two. NOW the Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring but Shawn finally rolls it over into the ropes. Back up and Shawn hits the superkick out of nowhere but the cover only gets two. Shawn tunes up the band again but gets kicked low for two.

Michaels comes back with a reverse Figure Four but Flair manages to crawl to the ropes. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks gets two for Flair and he fires off chop after chop. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks Flair down but Michaels can’t cover. Flair slowly gets up and says bring it. Shawn looks at him, says “I’m sorry. I love you.” and superkicks Flair into retirement.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade. The match itself was entertaining, but it wasn’t supposed to be a competitive spectacle. This was designed to give Flair a great match to go out on and they almost did that. They made no secret about who was winning and that’s ok, but at the same time it was like delaying the inevitable. It was a good match to send him out on and the fans were happy to see the famous spots one more time.

Flair gets a well deserved standing ovation. This match should have closed the show and was going to, but Flair said no because the title match should close the show. Usually I would agree but in this case, Flair should have ended the show. Ric takes the long walk up the ramp to nonstop applause.

Back in 1993, WCW wasn’t doing so well and due to a bad incident of insanity, their world title challenger at Starrcade 1993 was fired a few weeks before the show. Flair was brought in to face Vader for the belt.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Vader

 

Vader, with manager Harley Race, is defending and it’s title vs. career. Flair is the hometown boy and of course the crowd favorite. The fans cheer for Flair as they finally lock up. Vader shoves him down to the shock of no one. Flair bails to the floor and gets Vader to chase him a bit before heading back inside. The champion realizes what’s going on and stops with Flair back inside. Back in and Vader cranks on Flair’s hands to put Ric in big trouble.

 

Tony talks about all the major wins Flair has had at Starrcade as Vader stomps him down. A big gorilla press slam puts Flair down and he rolls to the floor, only to have Vader go out after him. Flair is dropped throat first on the barricade but Flair goes NUTS with chops and punches before ramming Vader into the post. Race nails Ric though and Vader takes over again with a suplex back inside. Another suplex puts Flair down again and Vader blasts him in the face.

 

A HARD clothesline puts Flair down again and there’s a splash for good measure. Flair’s chops have no effect as Vader is just stalking him. Vader misses a middle rope splash though, allowing Flair to hit a top rope chop to the head. Two more such chops put Vader down and there’s a knee drop to the head. Flair has some momentum going but Vader pops up and clotheslines him down. Vader loads up a superplex but the champion can’t follow up. Flair tries to fight back but gets knocked out to the floor for some shots from Race.

 

Back in and Flair fires off some hard chops before avoiding a splash in the corner. A second attempt hits though and Flair collapses again. Flair thumbs him in the eye and pounds Vader down with pure rights and lefts. Vader is down on his back and Flair goes for the legs, wrapping it around the post. The fans are going NUTS over this. There’s a chair to the knee and Flair punches Vader down on the floor again. Back in and Vader is dazed as Flair punches him down again.

 

Flair cannonballs down onto the leg but Vader kicks him down to block the Figure Four. The Vader Bomb misses and there’s the Figure Four as the face are losing it. Race is panicking on the apron but Vader makes the rope. Flair is all fired up but charges into a boot in the corner. Vader gets him down on the mat and pounds away, only to go up and miss his moonsault. Race tries a top rope headbutt but hits Vader by mistake. Flair gets a running start but Vader runs him over. In one last gap, Flair pulls Vader’s leg out and takes him down into a rollup for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

 

Rating: A. This match still more than holds up with Flair hanging in there as long as he could until he found an opening and refusing to lose. The idea here is that Vader would probably beat Flair most of the times they fought, but Flair won here in his hometown against all odds. It’s still a great match and this still holds up very well.

Next up we’ll look at one of Flair’s greatest opponents, as he faces Lex Luger for the title at Starrcade 1988.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

 

Speaking of Dusty being fired, since he knew that he was going to be gone as both a wrestler and the booker soon after this, he tried to mess with his real life rival Ric Flair before leaving. The original plan for this match was to have the Varsity Club jump Luger and have Rick Steiner, who remember is basically mentally handicapped, beat Flair for the world title in five minutes. As you can guess, that’s not what happens but it’s an example of what happens when personal issues get in the way of the booking.

 

If Flair is disqualified here, he loses the title. Flair WOO’s in Luger’s face to start before strutting around a bit. No contact in the first minute or so. Flair hits some chops before being clotheslined out to the floor by the much stronger Luger. Legendary wrestler Lou Thesz is in the audience. Back in and Flair tries a hammerlock but is easily overpowered into the ropes.

 

Another clothesline puts Flair down and he hides in the corner for a breather. A powerslam puts Ric down again and there’s a gorilla press for good measure. Off to a wristlock by Luger before he no sells a chop. Flair is sent arm first into the buckle and it’s off to a hammerlock by the challenger. Back up and Ric FINALLY pokes him in the eye to get himself a breather. Flair tries the chops again and Luger just yells at him. Those chops never worked on guys like Luger and Sting but Flair never learned.

 

They head to the floor with Luger cranking Flair’s arm around the barricade to injure it even more. Back to the armbar by Luger as this has been one sided so far. Back up and another clothesline puts Flair down for one and Flair rolls to the apron. There’s a suplex back inside for another near fall on the champion. Luger isn’t getting frustrated yet but he misses a jumping elbow drop to slow him down.

 

Back to the floor with Flair sending him face first into the barricade and chopping away which actually has an effect now. They go back inside and Flair stomps on the ribs but tries more chops which just wake Luger up. Lex puts on a sleeper but gets suplexed right back down to give both guys a breather. The Figure Four is countered into a small package for two by the challenger, followed by a superplex for two more.

 

Now Luger puts the figure four on Flair but the champion eventually makes it into the ropes. Lex pounds away in the corner but accidentally knocks the referee down. Flair uses the distraction to rake Luger’s eyes and throw him over the top, but Luger dives back in for a clothesline for two. Lex pounds away in the corner and sends him into the other corner for the Flair Flip. Another suplex gets another two on the champion but the referee gets taken down again.

 

Luger hits another powerslam but doesn’t cover for some reason. To be fair the guy never has been all that bright. He calls for the Rack but a JJ Dillon distraction lets Flair hit Luger in the leg with a chair to completely change momentum. Back in and Flair cannonballs down onto the leg as Luger is in BIG trouble. Flair kicks him in the knee and drops his own knee on Luger’s bad knee before putting on the Figure Four. Luger sits up and flexes his muscles before turning the hold over for a break. The leg is badly damaged though so Luger’s explosiveness is gone.

 

Flair goes up but Luger manages to slam him off the top on just one good leg. Luger no sells a right hand to the head and is all fired up again. There’s another gorilla press slam but the knee goes out as he turns Flair over. Flair sends him out to the floor again but Lex comes back in with a sunset flip for two. Luger flexes again but pounds Flair down in the corner on pure adrenaline. A clothesline gets two and there’s another powerslam. Luger calls for the Rack but after he gets Flair up, the knee gives out and Flair falls on top, throws his feet on the ropes for additional leverage, and retains the title.

 

Rating: A. This is an excellent match with an excellent story being told. Luger was such a natural athletic machine that he would never stop going on pure athleticism alone and eventually his body gave out on him, giving Flair the win. These two had great chemistry together and would always have good if not great matches together. Excellent main event here and well worthy of closing out the biggest show of the year.

We’ll wrap it up with what might be Flair’s most famous match. From the first Clash of the Champions.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Ric Flair

 

Flair is defending and this is Sting’s first big match in the main event. Ric is the leader of the Horsemen and has JJ Dillon with him, though JJ will be locked in a small cage above the ring. The much stronger Sting takes the champion into the corner to start as Hervey is flirting with Mullen at ringside. Flair grabs a wristlock on Sting but he easily nips up to scare Ric back to the ropes. Sting fights out of a top wristlock and Ric bails again.

 

Ric gets nowhere on a test of strength and chops get him just as far before Sting dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Flair tries a headlock but Sting reverses into an armbar as they’re still feeling each other out. Ric gets free and runs the ropes but Sting leapfrogs him twice and gorilla presses him down. A headlock takeover puts Flair down again as it’s been all Sting in the first five minutes.

 

Flair fights up again but gets put right back into the same hold. They’re clearly taking their time here due to the longer time limit and to conserve energy. The champion gets to his feet for a third time and tries chops in the corner but Sting punches him in the face and hiptosses him down. Sting seemed to get poked in the eye so Flair throws him to the floor, only to run right back inside and hammer away in the corner even more.

 

Back to the headlock and we hit the ten minute mark. Ric gets up and hits a chop that actually takes something out of Sting. It takes so much out that the next gorilla press only lasts for about five seconds. Off to a gorilla press on the champion and Sting actually takes him to the mat for a few two counts. Sting lets him up and tries the Stinger Splash in the corner but only hits the buckles, giving Flair his first opening.

 

Sting tries to come back with more right hands in the corner but gets countered into an atomic drop to put him on the mat for the first time. Flair takes him to the floor and whips Sting into the barricade before chopping and clotheslining him down in the ring. Some knee drops get a two count on the challenger and Flair throws him back to the floor where referee Tommy Young has to take a chair away from the champion. Sting is sent into the barricade again and the fans are getting scared.

 

Back in and Sting starts feeling the energy and is impervious to the chops before hitting a hard right hand to send Flair over the top. Sting misses a charge into the post and injures his arm to really give Flair a chance. Flair is in control back inside and now the wristlock works far better. Well at least it does for a few seconds until Sting nips up again and takes Flair into the corner for more right hands. A clothesline gets two on the champion and a suplex looks to set up Sting’s Scorpion Deathlock but Flair is in the ropes at the twenty five minute mark.

 

Sting is getting winded now but the chops fire him up yet again and a right hand gets two. Ric is barely hanging on and he collapses down, sending Sting flying over the top. He’s still on his feet first and back on the apron but Ric snaps his neck across the top rope. Sting pops up AGAIN and hits a top rope cross body for two. There’s the headlock again but Ric picks him up and hits a knee crusher out of nowhere to go for his primary target. Flair sends him to the floor and this time Sting isn’t popping back to his feet.

 

Back in again and Flair goes for the leg even more, picking it apart like the master he is. A belly to back suplex sets up the Figure Four as we’ve got fifteen minutes left in the time limit. Sting is in big trouble with Flair pulling on the ropes for extra leverage. After several minutes in the hold, Sting is finally able to turn it over and send Flair into the ropes. Flair is up first and tries to suplex Sting to the floor but Tommy Young won’t let it happen, allowing Sting to suplex Flair back in.

 

A quick splash hits Flair’s knees but Sting is able to come back with an abdominal stretch. Flair hiptosses out with ten minutes left but misses an elbow drop. Ric goes up top but as history should teach you, Sting is able to slam him down for two more. Sting crotches him against the post and puts Flair in the Figure Four for a change of pace. Ric screams for mercy but FINALLY makes the rope as the crowd’s hopes are dashed again. Sting pounds in more right hands and another hiptoss as he’s on pure adrenaline.

 

More stomping on Flair’s leg has the champion reeling so he tries to get himself disqualified, only to have the referee shove him down. Sting sends Flair over the corner and onto the judges’ table as JR goes nuts again. We’ve got five minutes to go as Sting blocks a sunset flip and hammers at Flair’s head again with four minutes left. A big clothesline gets two as Flair gets his foot on the ropes for the break. The Stinger Splash totally misses and Sting crashes to the floor in a heap. Three minutes to go and Sting is back inside.

 

Somehow forty two minutes haven’t taught Flair that chops don’t work as Sting makes about his 49^th comeback by sending Flair into the buckle. Flair sends him to the floor to kill some time and counters a sunset flip for a near fall with two minutes left. Ric goes up for a cross body but Sting rolls through for another two count. Sting gets all fired up with a minute left and goes nuts on Ric in the corner. There’s the Stinger Splash and the Scorpion Deathlock with thirty seconds left. The champion is screaming in agony and somehow holds on for the time limit.

 

Rating: A-. There’s a reason this is the textbook example of a veteran giving a young wrestler the rub of a lifetime. Sting went from a middle of the road guy with potential to a main event star in forty five minutes with Flair walking him all the way there. There’s a great story here with Sting being full of energy and power but not being able to close it out and spending too much time throwing punches instead of trying to bring the title home. It’s still a great match that doesn’t even drag during the long holds at the beginning and the first of many classics between these two over the next ten plus years.

I don’t know what you want as a conclusion. It’s Ric Flair. Go watch some of his matches.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It’s better than any other title I could come up with.

The Punk music to open the show was a brilliant move. You had to let those fans let off some steam and putting one of their idols in Paul Heyman out there was one of their best options. Paul talking about Punk like a Paul Heyman Guy again was the best way they were going to calm the fans down because Heyman is capable of taking an audience into his hands and make them do whatever he wants. The reaction when Heyman said that Punk wasn’t there was a great moment with the fans being calmed down but then getting angry all over again.

Then they one upped that by transitioning the heat over from Punk to Lesnar vs. Undertaker by tying the stories together. It didn’t do as well as they would have liked, but the fans weren’t freaking out as much about Punk and got into another idea. I wasn’t wild on Mark Henry coming out to confront Lesnar again as it’s just getting old, but that shot with the steps made me cringe.

The Usos FINALLY won the Tag Titles and I can’t complain about much here. I wasn’t wild on the Outlaws winning the belts but I said I didn’t care as long as they were transitional champions. I could have waited for Wrestlemania for this but they had to do something to keep the crowd calm. The moment worked well and felt like it was a long time in the making. That plancha with a tag in the middle is freaking cool.

I’ll combine the Big E./Real Americans segments into one. It’s getting clear that the team isn’t long for this WWE but I’m not sure how they’re going to get there. Cesaro is getting way too popular to be in a jobbing tag team much longer but I’m not sure how they go about breaking the team up. Big E. has nothing else to do so you would have to assume he’s involved with them at Wrestlemania, but I can’t imagine they’re doing a triple threat. Cesaro winning makes more sense, but at the same time Swagger seems to be the more likely winner. Good developments last night though and the first real sign of a split between the team.

Next up was Shield vs. Wyatts II as the fans continue to be appeased. The match was nowhere near as good as their first encounter but it wasn’t a fair comparison to make. This match was all about the storytelling with Rollins going INSANE and then breaking away from the team. He was clearly upset by what he did but the team had to split someday. You would think Shield vs. Wyatts in a street fight would be as easy of a layup as you could have and there’s a chance it happens at Extreme Rules but it doesn’t look all that likely right now.

Rollins bailing from the team makes sense given how he’s been presented as the glue that holds the team together. That being said, the other two played their roles perfectly. The Wyatts kept Reigns out of the match for as long as they could, similar to what the Horsemen did to the Giant when they feuded with the Dungeon of Doom back in 1996. Ambrose looked INSANE last night when he was diving on people and punching the tar out of them. That’s the Ambrose that got over huge and the Ambrose that the Undertaker picked for a singles match last year in England. Also, he put on a better Figure Four than Miz could ever dream of.

Batista had a quick promo about Daniel Bryan. “Deal With It” grows on me more and more every time I hear it.

The dancing match happened and that’s really all there is to say. Emma is slowly winning the crowd over as she’s allowed to be herself and not Santino’s latest conquest. Imagine that: you let someone do the stuff that got her to the main roster and it works better.

So then there was that segment where Stephanie talked about showing her daughters great moments in McMahon history which showed the problem with WWE’s “Real Talk” moments. That segment felt endearing, sweet and kind and served as a good ad for the Network. Yeah, it’s a cool idea for parents to be able to show their kids the stuff they grew up watching and I’d do that if I had kids who were into wrestling, but it’s coming from Stephanie McMahon.

That would be the same Stephanie McMahon who is currently one of the top heels in the company and would be ripping Daniel Bryan apart just an hour later. Last night I was waiting for that segment to turn into a heel promo against someone, but it was one of those moments that was supposed to be serious. You don’t have heels do sweet stuff like that because it gets them sympathy, which defeats the purpose. Have ANY face with kids do that same speech and it works just fine. But this is WWE, where Stephanie and HHH are heels but also the kind of people we’re supposed to relate to and admire because…..why is that actually?

Sheamus and Christian had another match, then they set up yet another match. Again, there seems to be no idea how to book Sheamus and it’s getting more and more tiresome each time. At least the match wasn’t bad though.

The Divas…..yeah.

This brings us to the big showdown between HHH and Bryan. In theory they’re setting up Bryan vs. HHH, but later in the night they seemed to be setting up Bryan in the triple threat for the title. That being said, the Bryan speech worked well and got the crowd into them again, but there’s one key thing to this: HHH AND STEPHANIE ACTED LIKE HEELS. I could get behind this version of the Authority being evil to the fans and then getting their comeuppance down the line. The problem is will they ever get that comeuppance.

It’s clear that they’re going towards one of those two matches, but at the same time it seems like they’re heading to both of them at the same time. For the life of me I can’t imagine Bryan beating HHH to qualify for the title match later in the night. They need to pick one: either Bryan knees HHH’s head into the Gulf of Mexico or pinning Batista to win the title. The idea of doing both just doesn’t quite work, but the triple threat makes more sense. At the end of the day they’re just not going to go with heel Orton vs. heel Batista to close out Wrestlemania and they’d be crazy to have the match at all. I think they’re going with the triple threat but it’s still up in the air.

Aaron Paul’s guest star segment was fine. There’s only so much you can do with stuff like that and it worked as well as it could have.

Paul Bearer going into the Hall of Fame works and was going to happen one day. I do like that the class this year is far smaller as they’re looking at 5-6 entrants at this point.

The Cena promo was good stuff. He acknowledged the fans’ chants (which is all they’re really wanting) and tied it in to the Wyatt feud, which is the best possible thing he could have done. Bray talking about Cena being lonely on top is an interesting way to go as Bray could get psychological on Cena, who is as well guarded a character as there is. Also: Cena continues to take Wyatt seriously, which is the most important thing he could do.

I’ve pretty much covered the main event already and there isn’t much else to say on it. Bryan won but the story was the post match stuff, as is almost the case every single time.

Now that leaves us with the big story from last night: the crowd. There’s only one way to explain this crowd, so join me in 1979.

Odds are a lot of you have seen the movie The Jerk. In the movie, Steve Martin goes on a rant about how he doesn’t need anybody or anything…..except for this. And this. Plus this. Maybe this too. And a few other things.

The Chicago crowd last night absolutely hated WWE and Raw in general. Except for Undertaker. Brock Lesnar. Dolph Ziggler and Aaron Paul because they’re just cool. Shield vs. Wyatts because they’re all awesome. Uh….Cena isn’t bad. Heyman is of course a genius. Daniel Bryan isn’t even worth bringing up because he’s the best in the world. Oh the Usos winning the titles was a cool moment. Christian is awesome so we can’t boo him. You can’t boo the Divas because they look good. Cesaro is freaking STRONG. But yeah, WWE sucks right now and they’re holding everyone down and we need to protest!

The fans came off like spoiled children who get 14 out of the 15 items on their Christmas lists and throw a fit because they didn’t get that ONE last thing……until their parents open the closet and find a surprise package. That’s the catch to this whole thing about Bryan: HE DOESN’T HAVE A MATCH YET. If you were just listening to people talking about Bryan, you would think he’s on the preshow against Heath Slater. He’s going to be in one of the main events and there’s a very real chance he’s walking out as WWE Champion. The card is going to rock (Taker vs. Lesnar, Shield explodes, Cena vs. Wyatt, Cesaro swinging someone around for an hour. How is that not going to be AMAZING?) but because ONE THING isn’t there, the fans think it’s time for a revolution.

Actually there are two things they might not be getting in Bryan and the biggest name from last night, CM Punk. As has been said about a million times, Punk isn’t a martyr. He’s a guy who wasn’t getting what he wanted in WWE and walked out two months before their biggest show of the year. The fans can act like this is all WWE’s fault because fans aren’t realistic (and shouldn’t be), but at the end of the day CM Punk walked out because he didn’t want anything but the main event at Wrestlemania. If he comes back and gets into the title picture then cool, but don’t act like he’s doing this for some cause, because it’s pretty clear he isn’t.

Overall the show was more story advancement for the most part, which is interesting stuff given that there are still so many loose ends. There are still two options, but both of them are looking less and less likely, leaving us with one of two weak options. There’s still a month before the show but they need to pick something already so they can build the thing up. Maybe that’s what Hogan’s announcement next week will be? Good show overall but they need to pick something already.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2014
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is one of those shows I’ve been wanting to see for what feels like months. We’re in one of the holy lands of smart fans and there’s a possibility that they’ll try to hijack the show with CM Punk chants. We’ll also get more build to Wrestlemania, including a match between Daniel Bryan and Batista. Let’s get to it.

First thing up: CM Punk’s music but Paul Heyman coming out instead. Nice little tease there. Heyman holds the mic out to the crowd as a HUGE CM Punk chant starts up. Heyman: “I believe he deserves louder than that.” He sits down in the middle of the ring and says he’s here to tell the story of a Paul Heyman guy who was never truly wanted in WWE. This was a Paul Heyman guy that was too small to main event Wrestlemania with too many tattoos who would rebel against the first family.

He’s here tonight to tell you about a guy born in, raised in and still living in Chicago. His name is Paul Heyman and this is his pipe bomb about CM Punk……who is not here this evening. After pausing for another CM Punk chant, Heyman says no one is more upset than him about CM Punk not performing in this ring tonight. So what happened? Why won’t anyone talk about why CM Punk isn’t here tonight? There’s someone to blame for why Punk doesn’t get to perform around here. That finger of blame is being pointed at every single fan here tonight.

This is why Heyman finds it easier to lie all the time. He managed Punk to a 434 day WWE Title reign and then the fans took him away with promises of love and affirmation. But all that did was take Punk away from everybody, including the fans themselves. Heyman also blames the Undertaker because Punk couldn’t stop the Streak last year and now Paul wants revenge. He wants to see Streak taken away from the Undertaker, but how do you kill someone who is already dead? There is only one man that can conquer the Streak: the beast incarnate, Brock Lesnar.

A ticked off Lesnar comes out and we see a clip from the end of last week’s show with Undertaker stabbing Brock with a pen to sign the contract for Wrestlemania XXX. Brock says Undertaker is scared to death of him and last week proved it. Many people have tried to conquer the streak but many men have failed to do so, including Chicago’s own CM Punk.

The Streak will be conquered by Brock Lesnar and Lesnar is ready to leave, but here’s Mark Henry for a staredown. Brock says bring it on and charges right into a right hand. Mark gets thrown into the steps and Lesnar looks livid. He blasts Henry in the face with the steps with one of the hardest shots I’ve seen in years. An F5 through the table knocks Henry even more out cold and the fans chant for Punk.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Usos

The Outlaws are defending but Road Dogg doesn’t think the fans here are worthy of hearing his catchphrases. It only took them two months to remember they’re heels. Jey hammers on Roadie to start but gets whipped hard into the corner. Uso comes out holding his knee so Dogg kicks him to the floor for a breather. Billy throws him back inside and hammers away before it’s back to Dogg. Jey’s leg seems to be holding up well enogh and Dogg even works it over a bit. Roadie throws him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Jey fighting out of a chinlock but getting slammed down for two. Dogg comes back in and takes a spin kick to the face (the knee seems fine). The hot tag brings in Jimmy to face Billy. Dogg gets knocked off the apron and a Samoan drop puts Gunn down. There’s a Bubba Bomb to Billy and the running Umaga attack in the corner to Roadie.

A reverse Whisper in the Wind hits Gunn and there’s a superkick to knock Dogg to the floor. Gunn rolls up Jimmy for two and the tilt-a-whirl slam gets the same. The Fameasser just misses and the Usos do the plancha with the flying tag, setting up the superkick and Superfly Splash to FINALLY give the Usos the Tag Titles at 9:27.

Rating: C+. It’s about three years overdue but this was the best way to do it. I have no problem with the Outlaws keeping the title for just a few weeks as they put the young guys over 100% clean before Wrestlemania. Good little match and they made it feel like it meant something, which is rare for these titles.

The Divas watch a clip from Need For Speed and pine for Aaron Paul. Apparently Dolph Ziggler is riding here with Paul tonight. Aksana wants to ride with him too because she likes fast cars.

Big E. vs. Cesaro

Non-title again. Cesaro quickly catches Big E. in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and the fans are completely behind him. Big E. sends him into the corner and snaps off a great belly to belly suplex, only to be sent to the floor before the Warrior Splash can hit. Big E. drops Swagger with a right hand but walks back inside for the Swing. Not that it matters as Swagger runs in for the DQ at 1:24.

Cesaro takes the Big Ending post match.

Shield vs. Wyatt Family

The fans think this is awesome while Bray is still in the chair. He stands up and whips off the hat but Ambrose and Rollins dive through the ropes to take out the Family. Reigns runs over Bray and sends him to the floor as the bell ring. Harper puts Rollins on the top rope but Seth backflips off and lands on his feet, runs into the ring and flip dives onto Harper and dives back inside to flip dive onto Rowan. Rollins goes back up but Bray throws Ambrose into the ropes to knock Seth to the floor in a nasty fall.

Back from a break with Rollins in a chinlock before being run over with a shoulder block. Ambrose goes to yell at Bray and Reigns goes to get him, leaving no one for a free Rollins to tag. Seth hits a quick Downward Spiral to send Rowan into the middle buckle and makes a tag to Dean as things speed up. He runs over Erick and hammers away before going after the leg.

Dean slaps on a Figure Four but Harper breaks it up with a double stomp. Reigns comes in as Dean brawls with Wyatt. The fans are WAY into Wyatt here as he hammers on Ambrose’s head and shouts a lot. Ambrose is caught in the cultish corner as the fans think this is awesome. Another Punk chant stars up while Harper stands on Dean’s chest. Back to Rowan for the fist vice but Dean is still able to taunt the Wyatts. He pulls Erick’s beard to break it up but walks into a sidewalk slam for two. The fans chant for Reigns as Ambrose takes Harper’s head off with a clothesline.

Bray comes in and knocks Roman off the apron, leaving only Rollins to take the tag from Ambrose……but he drops to the floor. Seth walks away and Roman tries to play peacekeeper. Rollins shouts that Reigns wasn’t there for him when he needed a tag so the other two can figure it out. Wyatt runs over Ambrose but Roman makes the save. Reigns goes nuts with Superman Punches and Ambrose is back in as well.

Reigns hits a running boot from the floor to the apron as Ambrose hammers on Wyatt. Reigns spears Rowan over the announce table and Harper hits a suicide dive to send Reigns over the table. Dean goes after Luke but Bray posts him. Rollins is still on the ramp as a THIS IS AWESOME chant starts up. Sister Abigail is enough to end Ambrose at 13:55.

Rating: B+. This wasn’t the match from Elimination Chamber but it didn’t need to be. We already got the showdown and tonight was all about the story. There’s more to come from this story as Rollins looked conflicted about his decision, meaning there’s going to be something special at Wrestlemania. Again, I’m loving this time in WWE and this is going to make Wrestlemania even better.

Batista thinks the YES Movement is one of the stupidest things he’s ever seen. These fans are turning someone like Daniel Bryan into a superhero but he could never be like Batista. No one may like it, but they have to deal with it. That’s a great heel catchphrase.

The Usos will defend against the Outlaws tomorrow night on the live Main Event special.

Santino Marella/Emma vs. Fandango/Summer Rae

We open with COMEDY as Santino keeps high fiveing Emma which means they have to switch. Fandango jumps Santino to start and gets two off a spinwheel kick. Santino comes back with a jawbreaker and it’s off to the girls for some Emma dancing. The Dilemma (Tarantula) sets up the Emma Sandwich (running cross body to a seated Summer) and the Emma Lock gets the win at 3:24.

Rating: D+. Believe it or not the fans actually didn’t hate this. Emma is the kind of girl that is going to get over due to being rather cute and fun when given the chance, which she’s finally getting. It helps that she can go in the ring and some of those submission holds proved it. Nice showing here but I’m tired of this same match in various forms week after week.

Stephanie loves showing her daughters great moments in McMahon history on the WWE Network. This is treated like a sweet moment.

Sheamus vs. Christian

Christian stalls before the bell and then slaps Sheamus in the face. The chase is on and Christian is sent into the barricade. Back in and a knee drop gets two on the Canadian but he sends Sheamus into the corner for some choking. Christian slaps him in the face again and gets an Irish Curse for his efforts. Sheamus misses a charge to the floor but just steps out of the way of a plancha. Christian escapes a powerslam and hides behind the announcers as we go to a break.

Back with Christian missing something off the middle rope but still being able to shove Sheamus off the top and out to the floor in a BIG crash. Christian throws him over the barricade and talks trash before taking Sheamus back inside. Sheamus says bring it on so Christian suplexes him down but misses a top rope splash. The rolling fireman’s carry sets up the ten forearms but Christian fights out. Christian goes up top but gets caught in mid air and now the ten forearms connect.

A running knee on the apron sets up a running knee in the ring for two for Sheamus. The Irishman is holding his shoulder and arm so Christian takes him down and gets two off the frog splash. Back to the CM Punk chant as White Noise gets a VERY close two. Christian throws him to the apron but Sheamus hits a quick Brogue Kick anyway and comes back inside for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B-. Definitely the best match in their series as they treated it more like a fight than a match. The crowd of course didn’t care and called the match awful because they’re petulant children that only care what they want and have no problem messing with three million fans at home because it’s what they want to do.

Back from a break and Christian jumps Sheamus in the back and hits the injured arm with I believe a light.

Bella Twins vs. Aksana/Alicia Fox

Brie runs over Aksana to start but it’s quickly off to Alicia to ram Brie’s head into the mat. The heels work on Brie for a bit as this is already going nowhere. Fox slams Brie out of the corner but gets slammed down for two. Nikki finally comes in off the tag and shouts COME ON a lot. Everything breaks down and the Rack is good for the pin on Alicia at 4:17.

Rating: D-. Next.

Preview for a new USA show called Sirens.

Here’s Daniel Bryan with something to say but he has to wait for the crowd to calm down. He says the fans have a voice and he’s not leaving this ring until one of two things happen. The fans chant for Punk but Bryan says he isn’t leaving until Batista comes down to fight him or HHH accepts his challenge for Wrestlemania. Here are Stephanie and HHH to answer, drawing an even louder CM Punk chant. Thankfully HHH acts like a heel this time and soaks the whole thing in.

Bryan ignores Stephanie and lays out his evidence of HHH holding him back for the last six months. Daniel is stronger than ever and wants to settle the score at Wrestlemania. HHH says that’s not going to happen and asks why Daniel’s generation can’t accept it inadequacy. He dubs this the Excuses Era because no one in this era can just admit that they’re not good enough. They blame eveyrone else and make excuses about being held down and buried.

The reality is that anyone who has ever failed in WWE is because they weren’t good enough. Bryan is nothing more than a B+ player and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, it’s not enough to make HHH lace up his boots at Wrestlemania. Bryan says the fans chant because they see through HHH’s lies and there go the people again. HHH claims to be doing this for the WWE Universe but he just isn’t listening to what they want.

They want to see someone like him succeed and the only way he can do that is by beating HHH at Wrestlemania. Stephanie says they won’t listen to this sea of inadequacy because they’ll turn on you at the drop of a hat. The only people that won’t turn on him are her and HHH because they know what he means for the business. Stephanie gives the whole “my family made all this” speech, so Bryan asks to fight her at Wrestlemania while HHH wears Stephanie’s skirt.

HHH thinks she would beat Bryan up too, but Bryan vs. HHH just isn’t happening. He goes into his most condescending voice and says Wrestlemania is the showcase of the immortals. As much as Bryan hates it, he just doesn’t measure up and needs to get out of HHH’s ring. Bryan says this is the fans’ ring but HHH says Bryan and all of the fans belong to him, so get out. Daniel says make him so Stephanie calls out Kane. The FLYING GOAT lays out Kane but the referees pull Daniel off of him.

We look back at Lesnar destroying Henry.

The expert panel recaps the night.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler comes in via a Shelby Mustang driven by Aaron Paul from Need For Speed. Paul is a shorter guy but has a ton of energy which is all you can ask for from these guys. He jumps in on commentary as the fans chant for Ziggler. Del Rio takes him down and does Ziggler’s hair flip pose as the announcers talk about video games.

The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Del Rio but the low superkick misses. Ziggler gets two of his own with the running DDT but Del Rio slams him down again. Paul gets up on the announce table and the Zig Zag is good for the pin at 2:43. This is par for the course on the guest star segments anymore and that’s fine.

Paul Bearer is announced for the Hall of Fame. Nothing wrong with that.

Big E. vs. Jack Swagger

Cesaro runs in for the DQ at 4 seconds and Neutralizes Big E.

The Real Americans argue post match and Cesaro loads Jack up in the Swing but Colter calls him off. The fans chant for Cesaro to do it and he lets Swagger go. Colter says help your brother up and Cesaro does so, albeit roughly. Zeb makes them hug it out and they reluctantly obey.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane is made for tomorrow night’s live Main Event.

Here’s a limping Cena (after the Wyatts’ intro started by mistake) who can’t even do his signtuare entrance. The fans chant for Punk and Cena thanks him for the usual Chicago welcome. Cena can’t wrestle tonight, drawing a HUGE YES chant. He’ll take that as their version of get well soon. John is out here to feel that energy from the crowd because he’s had some great moments in this arena, such as getting his face kicked in by Brock Lesnar and having a very special match with somebody at Money in the Bank.

Cena says he’s heard about this whole hijacking thing and it’s clear that the people want change. He can respect that, but success has to be earned and change comes through him. That brings him to Bray Wyatt, who isn’t in the driver’s seat after last week. Cena started his career in this arena and he’s still standing tall right here.

The Wyatts appear on screen and Bray asks if Cena can feel these people. Cena reminds him of a great throughbred racehorse that has been winning his entire career, but then he starts to slow down. That horse is now in the back of the barn waiting to be put down. How long does Cena think he can fend the Wyatts off? Bray is the reaper and he is going to put Cena down because he knows Cena’s greatest fear. The loneliest man on earth is the man who sits on the top of his empty castle. Follow the buzzards.

Orton wishes Batista luck out there tonight.

Alexander Rusev speaks Bulgarian on the stage.

We look back at Hogan returning last week and see him on the Today Show. Hogan has a Wrestlemania announcement for next week.

Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton comes out to watch. The bell rings at 11:02 so this probably doesn’t last long. Cole incorrectly says this is a first time ever match on Raw as these two fought once back in 2010. The fans immediately chant BOO-TISTA as he runs Bryan over with a shoulder. Daniel goes after the leg though and Batista is in trouble. A dropkick to the knee puts Batista down again and Bryan follows up with a half crab. Batista kicks him off and knocks his head off with a clothesline. The fans think Batista can’t wrestle as he throws Bryan to the floor….and we take another break.

Back with Bryan backflipping over Batista and hitting the running dropkicks in the corner. Batista rolls to the floor to avoid the third so it’s the FLYING GOAT. The YES Kicks get two but here comes the Authority for a distraction. The fans chant for Punk as Batista sends Bryan into the steps. Daniel is thrown into Randy Orton and Batista looked annoyed. Daniel is thrown back inside and gets an overrated chant plus a high kick from Daniel Bryan. Not that it matters as Orton comes in to attack Bryan for the DQ at 10:10.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here but they were just waiting for the screwy ending to close things out. I was thinking they would have Bryan get the pin here to change things up even more but this keeps the triple threat hopes looking solid. At the same time it keeps the Bryan vs. HHH hopes looking solid so I’m still not sure where they’re going. That’s still an awesome feeling.

Post match Orton loads up the RKO on Batista but gets shoved into the running knee. Bryan goes after the Authority but gets speared down by Batista. HHH gets in the ring and yells at Bryan but Daniel kicks him from the mat. A Batista Bomb lays out Bryan and HHH adds in a Pedigree, leaving the Authority standing tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was the WWE fighting back against the fans and showing the product is what really matters. The fans chanted all night and at the end of the day it came off as desperate pleas for attention instead of something witty or funny. The Punk chants just got annoying by about 9:30 and I don’t think anyone was paying attention to them.

The show itself was very solid with Wrestlemania being shored up and a title change that needed to happen finally taking place. Brock looks like a killer heading into Wrestlemania and there are still doors open for major matches on the card. WWE is at it’s full power here and it’s a very exciting time. Bryan and Punk are still wild cards and there’s the announcement next week that might be something interesting. Good show this week and things are really picking up.

Results

Usos b. New Age Outlaws – Superfly Splash to Gunn

Big E. b. Cesaro via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered

Wyatt Family b. Shield – Sister Abigail to Ambrose

Santino Marella/Emma b. Summer Rae/Fandango

Bella Twins b. Alicia Fox/Aksana – Rack to Fox

Dolph Ziggler b. Alberto Del Rio – Zig Zag

Big E. b. Jack Swagger via DQ when Cesaro interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Batista via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It’s about time.Paul Bearer is in.  I’ve had that typed three times now so I’m glad he’s finally announced.  Nothing wrong with this pick as usual.

And it still worked.Shield seems to have split tonight with Rollins walking out on Ambrose and Reigns due to them not being on the apron for a tag.  THere’s more to come though as Rollins looked very conflicted about his decision.

And got the crowd to calm down a bit.The Usos FINALLY won the titles by clean pin over the Outlaws.  The place went nuts for it too as it should have happened years ago.

He just hit Mark Henry with the hardest shot I’ve seen in years.  Undertaker is actually going to die at Wrestlemania.  He’ll win the match, but his corpse will get the pin.

This is a real thing.

 

 

The imagine isn’t great but if you can’t read it, here’s a slightly better picture.

 

http://www.rspwfaq.net/2014/03/tonights-chicago-objectives.html

 

Then, this might happen tonight:

It’s another double shot today as neither choice is strong enough to warrant a full entry. Today we’ve got Crimson and Brodus Clay.

Crimson debuted in TNA as Amazing Red’s brother in December 2010. He quickly established an undefeated streak and had his first major match against someone familiar with undefeated streaks in Samoa Joe. From Slammiversary 2011.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

Crimson hits the ring and they slug it out immediately.  The fans think Joe’s Gonna Kill Crimson.  Suicide dive is blocked by a forearm from the floor and there’s a big boot back in the ring by Crimson.  Neckbreaker gets two.  Cravate goes on so Joe gets a bad dragon screw leg whip to take the red dude down.  Crimson hammers away on Joe but walks into a kind of atomic drop sort of a move to the knee.  That was different.

He takes Crimson down with relative ease and there’s a leg bar for a few seconds.  Spinning toe hold by Joe as we go back to the mid 1870s.  Crimson counters into a triangle choke and then an arm bar which gets him nowhere.  T-Bone suplex by Crimson takes Joe down as the fans are trying to get into this.  Double arm DDT gets two.  The fans chant Mercer, which is Crimson’s real name I believe.

Suplex and a clothesline by Joe get two.  Joe goes up to the middle rope for a Rough Ryder for two.  Joe is all frustrated.  “Dang man end this match already before the buffet is empty.”  Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab.  We get a Gumby reference of all things as the hold stays on.  They slap it out and Crimson gets a spear to take Joe down.  They slug it out again with Crimson knocking him back into the corner.  Now Joe knocks him back into the corner but can’t get the Musclebuster.  Clutch can’t go on either so there’s the Red Sky to end this.

Rating: C+. Pretty good big slugout here and it’s good to see Crimson actually face big time competition for a change.  Pretty good match here with the ending being pretty clear, but a nice test for Crimson nonetheless.  I don’t think Crimson is as great as he’s made out to be, but this worked pretty well for what it was.

Crimson would hook up with Matt Morgan and win the Tag Team Titles in 2012. Here’s a title defense from Genesis 2012.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Crimson vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

Joe starts with Morgan and the tall one is taken down quickly. Off to Crimson who is the least interesting undefeated person this side of Tatanka. Magnus comes in and gets double teamed by the champs. Morgan hits his corner elbows and Crimson hits an overhead suplex for two. Back to Joe who runs Morgan over. Crimson comes in and has the same result as Morgan had.

Magnus comes back in and we go split screen as Ray is beating up Abyss. And now we’re back full screen as Joe has a chinlock on Crimson. We get a dueling “We Want Morgan/No We Don’t” chants. Crimson spears Joe down and we’re told that Bully Ray is trending worldwide on Twitter. Off to Morgan who hits the Hellevator (not called that) to Magnus but Joe breaks up the pin.

In a HORRIBLE looking sequence, Joe hits a bunch of strikes in the corner, followed by the middle rope elbow from Magnus. It only gets two though, due to Crimson breaking it up. The horrible part: Magnus flew off of Morgan about a second and a half before Crimson even touched him. Magnus reverses a chokeslam but a double version is enough to pin Magnus at 9:38.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t click for me at all. The messed up save really took me out of the match. Joe just isn’t going to get pushed no matter how much he gets cheered and how much his opponents get booed or get no reaction, because it’s just been decided that he’s not going to get pushed. Listen to the fans TNA. It just might work.

They would lose the titles and as is Matt Morgan’s custom, the former champions would enter into a feud as a result. This one culminated at Lockdown 2012.

Crimson vs. Matt Morgan

Crimson is now billed as “The Undefeated” on his graphic. Crimson goes for the door very quickly but Morgan keeps pulling him back in. Morgan walks into a clothesline for two as momentum shifts. Crimson rams him into the cage as the crowd is a little more awake now. He chokes Morgan on the ropes and a spinebuster gets two.

Crimson sets for what looked like the spear but walks into the discus lariat. Big boot puts Crimson down and it’s followed by a nice belly to back suplex. Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint in the corner but gets tangled in the ropes. Crimson tries a quick escape but they wind up fighting on the top rope. Morgan gets crotched and tied up in the rope, allowing Crimson to climb out for the win at 7:26.

Rating: D. You know, if the time is such a problem tonight, maybe you could have this go a few more minutes and have the TV Title go longer than three minutes. It might keep the issues down a bit more. Anyway, this match was really boring as the feud has been put on hold for the last two weeks. This show is bordering on disaster at this point but there are some big matches to come.

James Storm would return from an injury as a surprise at Slammiversary 2012 and give Crimson his first loss with relative ease. With the winning streak broken, there was no reason for Crimson to be around for awhile. He went down to OVW for further training and quickly won the Nightmare Rumble to earn an OVW Title shot against champion Johnny Spade in September of 2012.

OVW Title: Johnny Spade vs. Crimson

Spade is an OVW mainstay and one of the biggest stars in the company’s history. Johnny grabs a headlock to start but is quickly knocked to the floor with a shoulder block. The announcers talk about Crimson stealing the Nightmare Rumble from Rob Terry after Terry lasted over an hour, setting up a future program. Crimson sends Spade into the barricade but the champion comes back with some kicks to the ribs.

We take a break and come back with Crimson holding a chinlock before running Spade over with an elbow to the jaw. A hard slam gets two for Crimson and the challenger is very cocky. Spade misses a dropkick and gets caught in a quick cravate. Crimson puts him on the top rope but Spade comes out with a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Spade sends him into the corner for a double knee to the back but Crimson blocks a Swanton with knees to the back of his own.

A spinebuster and high collar suplex get two each for Crimson but Spade grabs a loose triangle choke of all things. Crimson powers out of it but runs into a kick to the face (not Spade’s superkick finisher) to stop him cold. Raul Lamotta comes out for a distraction but Shiloh Jonze (Spade’s former best friend) runs out and drills Spade with brass knuckles, giving Crimson the title.

Rating: C+. Nice match here, as was often the case in OVW. Spade was kind of like a Shawn Michaels, as he was a smaller guy fighting a monster but he was just good enough that you believed he could shock the world. Crimson looked good and is far more interesting as a heel who had been playing mind games to get the title shot.

Crimson would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Rob Terry. This led him to starting a paramilitary stable called the Coalition Forces with another hot prospect named Jason Wayne as the co-leader. Now called General Crimson, he would face another OVW mainstay named Jamin Olivencia (he’s been a jobber on WWE TV a few times under various names) in a #1 contenders match in March of 2013.

Jamin Olivencia vs. Crimson

Crimson looks FAR more intimidating with the rebel flag, camo vest and sunglasses. There are five other members of the Coalition Forces with Crimson here, including one guy covered in grass as a disguise. Crimson and OVW Champion Doug Williams might be in cahoots as well, which ties in to Olivencia as he beat Williams but had the decision overturned for reasons that aren’t quite clear. Crimson actually sends the Coalition to the back because he wants to do this on his own.

Jamin is taken into the corner but comes out with a right hand to the face, sending Crimson out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Crimson hammers away as the announcers argue about whether or not Jamin lost to Doug Williams. Crimson is knocked to the floor again and walks back in to a headlock from Olivencia, only to counter into a chinlock. Jamin goes up top but gets pulled down to the mat for two and we hit the chinlock again. Olivencia fights up again and dropkicks Crimson to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Crimson getting two off something we couldn’t see and putting on the chinlock for a third time. Off to a camel clutch as the announcers bicker even more about secret meetings. Jamin fights out but gets taken down by a hard running clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jamin fights up and hammers away in the corner. Crimson takes it outside and throws Olivencia onto the announce table but can’t hook a piledriver.

Back in and Olivencia scores with a spinwheel kick for two but Crimson counters Jamin’s DDT into a spinebuster for two. Crimson crotches Jamin on the top and hooks a superplex for two. Jamin comes back with his DDT but Doug Williams pulls out the referee and sends him into the steps. The Coalition runs out and destroys Jamin, giving Crimson the pin.

Rating: B-. This was far better than I was expecting with both guys looking solid. The Coalition is another heel stable but I like having it headed up by one person instead of several. Crimson was in charge here and could do a decent enough power style in the ring to make it work. If nothing else it makes me want to watch more OVW.

Crimson was a guy that had a great look but the undefeated gimmick really hurt him. At the end of the day the streak went on WAY too long and people just didn’t care when it was over. Couple that with the fact that he never won anything and it’s easy to see why people weren’t interested. The paramilitary gimmick was WAY more entertaining and interesting looking, making me think there’s a lot of potential left in Crimson. He’s only 29 after all so there’s a lot of time left.

Off to Brodus Clay, who is a rather scary looking man. He started as G-Rilla in developmental before going by his more famous name in the fourth season of NXT. One of his first major matches on that show was a fatal fourway elimination match on January 25, 2011.

Brodus Clay vs. Byron Saxton vs. Johnny Curtis vs. Derrick Bateman

 

This is the second week in a row where I couldn’t remember Curtis’ name.  That’s not good when I’ve watched every episode of this show.  This is elimination rules, no tagging, winner has the option of changing their pro.  Everyone goes after Bateman for some reason instead of Brodus.  He is thrown into a suplex from Brodus and is pinned in less than a minute.

Now they both go after Brodus as I scratch my head trying to figure that out.  They manage to get a suplex on him but Curtis tries to steal a rollup on Saxton which gets two.  Brodus is collecting himself on the floor so the others are in the ring.  Curtis takes out Brodus with a dive, leaving Saxton in the ring as we take a break.

Don’t try this at home.  These are good PSAs for lack of a better term to run.

Back with Brodus nailing Saxton with a clothesline.  Curtis is down on the floor and lets Saxton get beaten down like an intelligent person would.  Saxton gets something close to a Stunner to take Brodus down for two.  Curtis tries to come in off the top but gets caught.  He knocks Saxton down and gets a double guillotine legdrop to put out Saxton at 4:30.  We’re down to Clay and Curtis.

Clay is reeling and Curtis adds a European Uppercut to send him back on his heels.  Brodus is like wait I’m huge and splashes Curtis in the corner.  Off to the nerve hold which is my least favorite rest hold of all time.  Curtis fights out of it and rams some shoulders into the corner.  Josh has picked Rey to win the Rumble apparently.  Johnny goes up but jumps into the Tongan Death Grip Slam to end it at 7:20.

Rating: C+. This was quick and I think that was the right idea.  These guys aren’t very good in the ring so they kept this short.  Putting Bateman out that fast was kind of awkward but maybe that was due to an injury or something.  This was ok and probably about as good as it was going to get.

 

After hooking up with and being abandoned by Alberto Del Rio, Brodus would stay on Superstars for awhile before disappearing for three months. He would return as the Funkasaurus in what I thought was the surprise of the year in 2012. One of his first big matches was against The Miz at Extreme Rules 2012.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

The “smart” fans chant for Ziggler and they go to the floor quickly. Swagger runs over Brodus to put him down and get him in trouble for the first time. Back in Ziggler pounds on him but Brodus comes back with a headbutt. A knee lift misses and the Fameasser gets two. Another dropkick gets one and it’s time for a modified sleeper. Brodus stands up and easily throws Ziggler over. Dolph tries a suplex and is easily thrown off. Brodus gets all fired up and shakes, including a shot to Swagger. Headbutt to the ribs sets up the splash for the clean pin at 4:19.

Rating: C. This is EXACTLY what Brodus needed. He’s squashed jobbers for months now so a real win where he had to fight off some people is a great upgrade for him. Ziggler hammered away on him and certainly didn’t get squashed, which is how you make someone like Clay look great. Good stuff.

Brodus would lose his first match to Big Show, sending his career down a good bit. He would however captain a Survivor Series team at Survivor Series 2012.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel

Tensai, Prime Time Players, Primo, Epico

My goodness they’re USING THE BIG FREAKING ROSTER THEY HAVE. This is a smart move that they never use for some reason. I miss the King’s stupid lines. Apparently the fans got to pick Rosa’s dress tonight. Uh….sure. Kidd and Epico start things off with Kidd taking it down to the mat quickly. Off to an armbar by Kidd before Epico bridges into a backslide. This is some awesome stuff actually. Kidd sends him to the floor but Epico slams him face first into the apron to take over.

Off to Gabriel for some kicks and a legsweep before it’s right back to Kidd. Scratch that as it’s Young vs. Mysterio now as this is hitting a bit of a dull spot. Cara and Mysterio hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two for Cara. Primo comes in and takes the Tajiri Elbow and a rana to send him into the corner. Primo slams him down and it’s off to the Big Bald. JBL rattles off some NJPW stats for Tensai and it’s off to O’Neal.

That also goes nowhere so it’s off to Epico again for a camel clutch. Cara finally escapes and hits an enziguri before making the tag to Brodus. Everything breaks down and the four tag team guys on the heel team are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo suicide dives to take out the Puerto Ricans and the masked guys hit stereo Asai Moonsaults to take out the Players. Awesome sequence there.

This leaves the two monsters left in the ring alone in a match we’ve seen a lot of times before. Clay tries his overhead suplex attempt but it basically turns into a Downward Spiral, which makes me wonder if there’s more to Ryback not being able to Shell Shock Tensai. Brodus misses a splash in the corner and gets shoulder blocked down. The backsplash from Tensai takes out Clay and we’re down to 5-4.

Kidd tries to fire off some kicks but gets run over as well. Off to Titus again with an abdominal stretch to slow things down. A backbreaker from Titus puts Gabriel down and the backsplash from Tensai gets two. A second attempt misses and Justin rolls him up for the pin. Back to O’Neal as we’re down to what this match likely should have been in the first place.

Epico comes in to chop away and hit a butterfly suplex for two on Gabriel. Off to some chinlockery but Epico misses an elbow drop and there’s the hot tag to Kidd. Scratch the hot part as he’s immediately sent to the floor and stomped on by Primo. Back to Titus for more pounding but a big boot misses and O’Neal crotches himself on the top rope, allowing Kidd to hook his spinning sunset flip for the elimination.

Young immediately comes in to stomp away as it’s Cara/Mysterio/Kidd/Gabriel vs. Epico/Primo/Young. Epico comes in and rolls some belly to back suplexes but Kidd sweeps the legs and it’s a Sharpshooter for the elimination. It is Survivor Series after all. Primo comes in now and suplexes Kidd down, only to dive off the top onto some knees.

There’s the hot tag to Rey who speeds things up and kicks Primo in the head for two. The seated senton by Rey gets two and La Magistral leaves Young on his own. There’s the 619, a Swanton from Cara, a top rope Lionsault from Justin, a top rope elbow from Kidd and a top rope splash from Rey to END Young for the win at 18:27.

Rating: B-. Very solid choice for an opener here with everyone looking good to great out there. This is what they should do with the three hour Raw’s: let the small guys go out there and tear the house down for ten minutes or so to fire up the crowd. This worked really well for an opening match and the high flying sequences were all really fun. Good, fun match here which is what the roster is capable of when it doesn’t have stupid writing weighing it down.

Brodus and Tensai would soon form a tag team called Tons of Funk and proceed to do….not much. They did however team up on September 17, 2013 on Smackdown.

Tons of Funk vs. Prime Time Players

Brodus pounds on Young to start before it’s quickly off to Tensai and an elbow/side slam combo. Young bails to the floor and Titus dives on Tensai as he goes after Darren. O’Neil comes in and runs over Tensai, only to miss a charge into the corner. Hot tag brings in Brodus to splash Young in the corner. A powerslam gets two as Titus makes the save (despite being late and the referee having to pause his count early), only to be thrown to the floor. The double splash ends Young at 2:44.

When you look back, Brodus really hasn’t done much. At the end of the day, he’s not much other than a good look but he’s had some decent performances at times. Most of that has been due to his character, but at least it’s better than nothing. Not much to him, but he’s better than some choices.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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I was getting a bit tired of scrolling through 800 comments so I made a new page.  It’s on the bar on top as usual.

 

KB