As you’ve likely heard, Cena’s knee injury was revealed to be a work, but it turns out he has a legitimate groin strain.  This gets me to thinking.It strikes me as interesting that Cena has a REAL injury less than a week after a major worked injury was revealed to be fake.  It’s almost too much of a coincidence.  Everyone’s reaction: “He’s not a good enough actor to pull that off.”  Any chance that’s exactly what WWE was hoping we would say?

Today we’re going to look at a group of people instead of just one or two. It’s WCW’s attempt to have a youth movement in the span of a month with the Natural Born Thrillers.

While it was way too late to help WCW, they decided to bring up a group of seven guys who were prospects in the Power Plant as a unit. It didn’t help that they were almost all interchangeable save for Mike Sanders who could talk circles around them and had almost no personalities at all, but it was a nice idea. We’ll look at each of them with a few matches each because they really didn’t do enough in WCW to cover a long selection.

We’ll start with the group’s leader, Mike Sanders. He didn’t have anywhere near the look of the other guys but he could talk far better than the rest of them. Sanders didn’t have a ton of success in the ring but he did win the Cruiserweight Title (with the help of Kevin Nash). Here’s his lone PPV title defense from Mayhem 2000.

Cruiserweight Title: Mike Sanders vs. Kwee Wee

Kwee Wee is more or less Rico lite and has an alter ego known as Angry Alan. We see clips of Goldberg destroying Kwee Wee on Nitro. Uh…ok then. Nice to see the young guy getting pushed so hard. We see Goldberg destroying Sanders also. Wow great job of pushing these guys as meaning something. Sanders slaps Kwee Wee and here we go. We get the Angry Alan part to start us off here with “Above Average” Mike Sanders being in trouble very early.

Here come the Thrillers and we get the dumbest referee spot I have ever seen. The referee sees the Thrillers coming and stops Kwee Wee from jumping them. Jindrak hits a springboard clothesline to take out Kwee Wee but the referee turns and doesn’t see it. He see Kwee Wee down and Jindrak on the other side of the ring and is just fine with this. Yep that’s the kind of show to expect here it seems. There is a very cool spot where Jindrak and O’Hair throw Kwee Wee over the top from the floor and Sanders catches him in a powerslam. Awesome.

And here goes any sense of wrestling in the match as Meng of all people comes out with Paisley (Kwee Wee’s manager and more commonly known as Sharmell, Booker’s wife) in a big afro wig. He fights the Thrillers and gets Reno and Stasiak in Tongan Death Grips to take them down. Ric Flair and security comes out to get rid of everyone. This whole time we haven’t had a single shot of the match.

They’ve managed to overbook the opening match. And people wonder why this company went out of business. And now back to the backdrop that is our title match. And we come back for a chinlock. Madden and Stevie get into it about Stevie being in his brother’s shadow for years. Getting a little personal there buddy. They argue over what a hold is called forever. Here’s the face comeback.

Sanders is the Commissioner at this point. Madden: this never happens to Paul Tagliabue (Roger Goodell for you younger fans). Kwee Wee goes for a sunset powerbomb to the floor but Sanders gets a nice counter into a rana. Paisley hands Kwee Wee the afro for no apparent reason. And now she comes in and hits a handspring elbow which isn’t a DQ either. Sanders grabs Kwee Wee and hits the 3.0 (Orton’s backbreaker. I love that pun) for the pin to retain maybe 3 seconds later.

Rating: D. Just stupid nonsense here from WCW, the undisputed master of stupid nonsense. Was there any reason to overbook a Cruiserweight Title match between the commissioner and a comedy character? We technically had 9 run-ins with six Thrillers, Meng, Flair and Paisley. Seriously, we get it. There’s no need to have this much additional stuff going on. The match was boring on top of that, or at least what I saw of it was.

Sanders would then move into a feud with Ernest Miller over being the commissioner of WCW, including this match from Sin.

Mike Sanders vs. Ernest Miller

The winner is Commissioner. Sanders says he’s in this for the money and that Ms. Jones is on the line here. WCW: pushing sexual slavery all the way to 2001! At least Jones looks good. For the life of me I have never gotten the appeal of the Cat. He says he’s going to be Commissioner and take WCW all the way to the top. I’ve got nothing for that one. Somebody call his mama. How did they never have her show up?

After a quick fan applause contest won by Miller we’re ready for the match. Cat starts in control and chases Sanders to the floor, only to get drilled by Sanders on the return to the ring. Cat gets a kick to take him down and hammers away. Does this guy know how to do anything but strikes? Sanders gets a snap mare and kicks him in the head. A sunset flip is countered by a crotch chop and an elbow from Miller.

Big kick (yes we get it you can kick him) by Miller puts Sanders down but he manages to send Cat to the floor. Chair shot is broken up by Jones which is stupid because Sanders would have lost if he had hit Cat. Jones chases him with the chair as the Thrillers come down for the big beating. Kronik makes the save and somehow the referee DOESN’T SEE ANY OF THIS, despite being in the ring the whole time. Adams shoves the money in Sanders’ mouth as he channels his inner DiBiase before a big kick to Sanders from Cat ends this, making Miller commissioner again.

Rating: D. Boring match for another authority position which means I have to watch more of Miller. I’m not complaining about seeing Jones dance but at the same time, Miller is annoying beyond belief. Weak match and what a shock: the bigger the names get, the worse the show gets.

Sanders really would have been better suited as a manager and for the most part that’s what he was. It’s not like he was awful or anything but he was little more than a guy in above average (some of you will chuckle at that) shape who could talk. He’s now a standup comedian which actually fits far better for him.

Next up is Chuck Palumbo, who was something resembling Val Venis with thicker hair. He was mostly a tag wrestler but would have the occasional singles match, such as this one against Scott Steiner, though this is before the Thrillers formed.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner takes him down to the mat to start and pounds in elbows to the side of the head but Chuck kicks him down. A flying shoulder gets two on Scott but he comes right back with a nice belly to belly. The beating continues with a clothesline and second suplex from Steiner as we’re entering squash territory. Chuck comes back with some jobber offense but gets caught in the Recliner for the submission.

Rating: D. This was a squash but it’s nice to see a future star (work with me here) getting some ring time. It’s not a good match and the only interesting thing was looking at the girls that Steiner had with him. Palumbo had a look to him but he was better off as a narcissist instead of being a generic guy here.

One of Palumbo’s only singles feuds was against Lex Luger. The two of them feuded over Palumbo parodying Luger’s Total Package gimmick, including this match from February of 2001 on Thunder.

Lex Luger vs. Chuck Palumbo

Luger grabs a headlock to start but gets dropkicked and clotheslined for his efforts. The quickly head to the floor with Palumbo being whipped into the barricade as Luger takes over. Luger chokes a lot and starts hammering on the back until Chuck punches him down. Luger makes a quick comeback and calls for the Rack but gets small packaged for a fast pin.

Rating: D. This was just a punch and pose match which wasn’t all that intersting. It didn’t help that Luger was a shell of the shell of himself that he was by this point. Nothing to see here for the most part, but it’s a nice idea to see a veteran get pinned by a young guy. Shame that it’s happening a month before they go out of business.

Next is probably the best known of the Thrillers: Sean O’Haire. This guy had the look and the athletic background to go somewhere but stupidity held him up. We’ll start with a triple threat from October 2000 against Rey Mysterio and Disco Inferno.

Sean O’Haire vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Disco Inferno

All three are parts of tag teams in a three way at Halloween Havoc 2000. O’Haire sends both of them to the floor but the numbers catch up with him as Disco scores with a bulldog. Sean flips over Mysterio but gets clotheslined down by Disco. Rey and Disco fight for a bit but O’Haire picks up Rey in a sitout powerslam for two. The Animals botch a spot where Disco tries to launch Rey at O’Haire but Inferno gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. Everyone goes to the floor for a brawl and Rey dives on O’Haire’s partner Mark Jindrak, allowing O’Haire to hit a springboard Swanton for the pin on Disco.

Rating: C-. Better match here but it’s mainly because O’Haire was awesome in the ring and could have been a huge star. The tag division was a mess at this point (much like everything else) but the Thrillers were at least offering some fresh blood out there. Disco continues to be little more than a decent comedy act and Rey wasn’t interested at this point.

Same idea but a few months later with O’Haire vs. Lex Luger from March 5, 2001 on Nitro.

Lex Luger vs. Sean O’Haire

Luger jumps him to start but Sean slams him down for two. A clothesline gets two for Luger and O’Haire comes back with clotheslines of his own for the same. Luger runs him over with a forearm as you can see the arm obsession from both guys. To give you an idea of WCW at this point, Tony hypes up the in ring return of DUSTY RHODES as a focal point of the show. O’Haire tries to flip over Luger out of the corner but jams his knee on the way down, giving Luger a target.

Cue O’Haire’s partner Chuck Palumbo to beat on Luger, not drawing a DQ for no apparent reason. Luger’s partner Buff Bagwell comes in and beats on Sean with a chair but the referee prevents them from Pillmanizing Sean’s ankle. Buff accidentally hits the Blockbuster on Luger, allowing Sean to hit a Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yes amazingly enough WCW overbooked a six minute match. This is very much in the vein of the time Kidman beat Hulk Hogan: it doesn’t come off as a victory as much as O’Haire capitalized on the heel making a mistake. There was nothing here, which has been the case for months now for the Thrillers.

Sean O’Haire had the most potential out of all of the Thrillers and should have been something big. Even in WWE he was treated as a big deal with the highly praised devil’s advocate character, so naturally WWE put him on the back burner so they could push Roddy Piper vs. Rikishi to recreate an angle from 20 years earlier. Wrestling is stupid sometimes and O’Haire isn’t even the business anymore, retiring at about 35 years old.

We’ll move on to the worst member of the team in Shawn Stasiak. Not that he wasn’t talented mind you, but he was older than the rest of the team (Palumbo was about the same age but looked ten years younger) and had already appeared for a few years in the WWF. It didn’t quite work, but it’s WCW so they pushed him as a young guy anyway. Here’s one of his matches against G.I. Bro, more famous as Booker T, from the 2000 Great American Bash.

Shawn Stasiak vs. G.I. Bro

And here’s the latest way to waste a guy like Booker: he’s a military guy when there’s already a military themed stable. He comes in on a zip line like Shawn did at Mania 12, but at about 1/3 of the height and 1/10 of the speed. The announces speculate that Kanyon was the surprise because they’re not that smart. Oh apparently Booker is part of the MIA. It just wasn’t mentioned until here.

This is a Boot Camp match, which means Last Man Standing. Why they’re fighting isn’t required information but I’d bet it’s MIA vs. New Blood. They’re both in camo here because that’s what you do in the army right? Booker takes him to the floor and hammers away as we go into the crowd. WEAK chair to the head (drawing slight booing) takes down Stasiak for all of a second. A horrible top rope forearm gets about seven.

Oh and don’t worry: we’re willing to cut away to the back at the drop of a hat if Goldberg arrives. You know, because you paid your money to see a car pull into a parking lot 45 minutes into a show right? Jumping back elbow puts Booker down and they actually treat it like a move that could end this. Big spinwheel kick by Booker takes him down for no reaction for the most part.

Stasiak sends him to the floor and we head to the ramp for a suplex. Back in the ring as there’s no heat on this match in the slightest. Back to the floor again as they have no idea what to do with nearly 14 minutes total for this match. Chair shot puts Booker down on the floor and back in the ring a gutwrench powerbomb gets 9. Time for a sleeper because this match isn’t boring enough already.

The fans chant boring and I can’t blame them in the slightest. This is what we mean when we say adding a gimmick for the sake of adding a gimmick. They can’t even explain why these two are fighting and yet we’re supposed to want to see a gimmick match between them an hour into the show in the fifth slot? There’s no heat here and the only reason this gimmick is here is because someone has a military gimmick.

Book End hits out of nowhere and I don’t bother waiting to hear what the stupid military name of that is. They call it a uranage suplex here but screw that. Of course it only gets like five but it sets up the missile dropkick, as in both of his finishers that can’t take down Stasiak. Palumbo, Stasiak’s partner, comes out with the Lex-Flexor exercise bar but hits Booker low anyway. A shot to the back of Booker puts him down as Tony rants against relaxed rules in a match with no rules. Booker gets up and mostly hits a double clothesline and beats up the tag champions on his own. A shot to Stasiak with the flexor ends this.

Rating: D-. Oh give me a break. Someone thought that Shawn freaking Stasiak was the best use of Booker T here? I mean come on now man. There was zero reason at all for this to be a gimmick match in the slightest so they went with it anyway. Guess what is up next: a gimmick match. After that, another gimmick match. Before this, another gimmick match. This is a great example of Russo’s writing in a nutshell and one of the better ones you’ll ever see. Oh and the match sucked, easily the worst last man standing match I’ve ever seen.

After the Thriller broke up, Stasiak feuded with Bam Bam Bigelow in the dying days of the company, including this match from Greed.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Oh please make it quick. Stasiak says he’s great and is the Mecca of Manhood apparently. This is the Shawn and Stacy Show and we see why Stasiak never gets to talk. It’s a shame that this match had to happen. We had two very good matches to start us off and then we got to look at Stacy who looks hot like that. And that ends the good stuff here as Bigelow is just WAY past his usefulness at this point.

Is there a reason why this is on a PPV? I know it’s a dark time for the company (ok that’s an understatement) but seriously? Tony keeps calling this The Greed Pay Per View. It’s really weird sounding. We pause to see if Stasiak needs a replacement tooth due to a clothesline. And now he wants a time out. Bigelow hits a dropkick to the thigh or so and we hit the floor again.

Bigelow gives chase this time and we brawl for a bit. Can’t you tell how riveting this stuff is so far? Stasiak hits a top rope cross body but stops to pose. Top rope headbutt kills Stasiak but here’s Stacy to look hot. She throws Stasiak hairspray and a neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D. Boring match here with nothing of note happening. Again, this is what they went with on PPV? At least Stacy looked good. That’s about all I’ve got as far as good stuff goes here. The match was just boring and never got going or was never good or anything like that. Terrible match but at least it was short.

Stasiak just didn’t fit in WCW at all and the matches showed that very well. He was older, didn’t have the best skills and was little more than there. Not much else to say about him.

Speaking of someone without much to say, here’s Mark Jindrak. He primarily wrestled in tag matches with O’Haire, but there are a few singles matches to pick from, such as this one from October 23, 2000. Ok so it’s a triple threat but you get the idea.

Mark Jindrak vs. Alex Wright vs. Kidman

Same idea as the triple threat from earlier. Jindrak gets double teamed to start until Wright accidentally clotheslines Kidman down. The German suplex gets two on Mark with Kidman making the save. Jindrak hits a nice torture rack neckbreaker on Kidman but walks into a missile dropkick from Wright. They head outside for a brawl with the partners involved as well, where Jindrak and O’Haire throw Rey from the floor, over the top rope and into the ring in a SCARY power display. The Kid Crusher (Killswitch) is enough for Kidman to get a fast pin on Wright. Nothing match.

Since we’ve done the preliminaries, here’s the triple threat tag from Halloween Havoc 2000 with Jindrak and O’Haire defending.

Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Boogie Knights are Disco and Alex Wright and the Thrillers are Mark Jindrak and Sean and Mark O’Haire and have the belts here. There was some weird deal where the Knights won the belts but Mike Sanders decided the title change didn’t count and gave them the belts back. There are advertisements at every corner of the ring. WCW’s latest horrible video game (no wrestling in the ring, just in the back) is the sponsor. Nice to see how well the sponsorship deals are going isn’t it?

Wright, Kidman and Jindrak start us off. That’s what I always liked about WCW triple threats: they had triple threats instead of three team tag matches. Alex allegedly has the most experience. Not quite but in WCW he did I guess. Bronco Buster misses and here’s Disco. I forgot Konnan was there until he said something about Shane Douglas. It’s a big WZ Preunion here.

Everyone keeps working to beat up the Thrillers. In a nice move, Disco sets up Sean to allow Kidman to come off with the Shooting Star but instead he jumps at Disco with a back elbow in a thinking move. Wright gets a lot of praise here which is weird. You could tell he was one of those guys that they wanted to do something with but they never quite could do it.

We get a Tower of Doom spot as I’m getting into this triple threat tag match formula. Rey, Sean and Disco come in. Sean has a dime dropped on him and Disco takes a modified seated senton for two each. Sean’s knee may be hurt. The Thrillers use one of their signature awesome spots where they pick up Rey for what looks like a double hip toss and throw him from the floor over the top rope and into the ring. That was awesome looking.

They do the same to Kidman but Wright catches him in mid air in a belly to belly for two. This is getting awesome fast. Big plancha by Alex to take out Disco and Jindrak. Let the cruiserweights loose as the big dives begin. Kid Crusher on Wright (Unprettier/Killswitch) gets two. Top rope rana by Rey to Disco is followed by a Bronco Buster.

Last Dance (Stunner) by Disco gets two as Rey drops a dime on Disco to break it up but it allows O’Haire to hit the Seanton (yes I spelled that right) Bomb to end it. Imagine a guy Orton’s size doing a Swanton and imagine how awesome it would look. Wright beats up Rey afterwards and Konnan tries to save. He gets beaten down also but Sgt. AWOL (member of the MIA) comes in for the save. Konnan can’t stand up.

Rating: B. This was FUN. You had six relatively young guys out there just having fun in a fast paced tag match. It’s a great choice for an opener and I got very into it. This was WCW’s problem though: this is pretty much going to be the match of the night and the crowd is going to decline as we continue. Very fun opener though and I liked it a lot.

Jindrak really wasn’t all that special in the ring, which is odd given how athletic he was. As far as I know he still holds the record for highest vertical leap of anyone ever in WWE and he had a great look. He would become a much bigger deal wrestling in Mexico, making him another guy that got away from WWE.

Next up was one of my favorites of the Thrillers: Reno. He was a small but very muscular guy with a finisher called Roll the Dice, better known as Cross Rhodes. Reno didn’t do much in wrestling, but he did win the Hardcore Title and defended it at Halloween Havoc 2000.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sergeant AWOL

I liked Reno but this should be bad anyway. Reno brings a kendo stick and pops Wall (his old name) with it so Wall kicks him in the face then goes through a table. Uh sure. We have NEW Hardcore rules here which are now falls count anywhere and anything goes. Back in the day the matches had to start in the back and end in the ring. WCW managed to make a video game out of that concept. Yeah they were dead at this point.

Just a basic weapons match at this point with no one really caring. See what I meant about the quality going down? Wall puts the trashcan over Reno’s head and kicks the can into the railing. That looked painful but after looking at it for about two seconds you can see he missed Reno completely. And now he does it again just because he can. Wall and Stevie do the Too Sweet hand gesture for zero explained reason.

They head up to the ramp as Stevie says this could end at the Brown Derby. For those unfamiliar, the Brown Derby is a restaurant in Los Angeles. Chokeslam is blocked and Reno hits the Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes) on the ramp. He gets a table and then a second one on top of that. According to the laws of wrestling of course Reno goes through them shortly thereafter.

The guys go off into some BIG empty area (you know because it’s not like FANS could go there as we need it for this one moment in a pointless match) before we head to the back. A computer monitor is thrown at Reno who counters with a fire extinguisher for two. Computer monitor to Reno’s head lets Madden say he knew the internet would destroy wrestling. That’s very funny all things considered. Actually it’s not as Mark Madden is not a laughing matter.

Wall drills Finlay who is an agent at this point and we head back into the arena. This is just going on WAY too long at this point and it’s not interesting at all anymore. Scratch that as it would imply that something about this match was interesting at all in the first place. Wall gets the fifth table of the match (the word overkill means nothing in WCW if you didn’t get that) but gets hit with a chair by Reno. Roll of the Dice (looked weak with no impact at all) onto the table ends this.

Rating: D-. This got ELEVEN MINUTES. Yeah this match is deserving of more time than the good opener. There was nothing at all here to set this apart from any other standard hardcore match. WCW had no idea what they were doing with this division and that’s very clear based on this mess.

Reno’s main story in WCW was with Big Vito over something about one of their sisters. Here’s their showdown match from Sin.

Reno vs. Big Vito

Revenge match here after Reno revealed that he was the guy that was paying Kronik to take out Vito so he could rejoin the Thrillers instead of just you know, taking out Vito and rejoining the Thrillers. They stare each other down and the fight is on. Reno takes over with a powerslam to start and Vito kind of looks weak. Oh and they’re brothers apparently.

They head to the floor for a bit before heading back in and slugging it out. The crowd is staying white hot and already has made more noise than at all of Starrcade combined. Superplex gets two for Vito. Enziguri to the shoulder can’t put Reno down but a belly to back does for no cover. Out to the floor with Reno in control. They are laying into each other here.

Back in now and Reno drops an elbow. Tony talks about the brothers being in high school for some reason as the crowd is popping for clotheslines. Think about that for a minute. Vito grabs a sunset flip for two. Big boot to the head/superkick by Vito puts Reno down and they’re both down. Vito hammers away and here’s the comeback.

Belly to belly sets up a top rope elbow for two. Bad elbow but he tried at least. Reno fights back but can’t Roll the Dice. Suplex gets two for Vito. Spinning DDT fails for Vito so he settles for a T-Bone. I’ll have a round steak if you have one. Out of nowhere Reno reverses a suplex and gets the Roll the Dice for the pin. Another fast paced and decent match, probably a record for WCW post 1999.

Rating: C+. This is a fine example of a match where working hard and having intensity can make up for average in ring work. They were HAMMERING each other out there and while the match was sloppy at times the fans were into it and even I got into it a bit. That’s a great sign and the match was good as a result. We’re half an hour in and I’m rather impressed so far.

Reno was a guy with a look but he really never fit in with the Thrillers due to being far smaller than they were (he was about 6’0 but the rest were 6’4 or so). He was only in wrestling a few years and never did anything of note after the Thrillers broke up. Shame too as I was always a fan of the guy.

Finally we have Johnny the Bull, who was already a name from a tag team called the Mamalukes. We’ll start there, as the Mamalukes (Johnny and Big Vito) face Disco Inferno and Lash Leroux at Starrcade 1999.

Disco Inferno/Lash Leroux vs. Mamalukes

 

Leroux is a pretty generic cruiserweight from Louisiana. The Mamalukes are two Italian guys named Johnny the Bull and Big Vito who are your basic mafia gimmick. Vito and Lash start after a quick brawl. The Cajun guy is pounded into the corner as Vito does every Mafia stereotype you can think of. Lash takes a side kick to the face and it’s off to Johnny for some double stomping. Leroux takes him down with a hiptoss and it’s to Disco. Inferno gets two on the Bull via a clothesline and two off a clothesline and Russian legsweep.

 

As Disco stomps away in the corner, we get the story behind this: apparently Disco owes the Italians’ manager Tony Marinara (just go with it) $25,000 and the makeshift team is together because they used to not like each other but now respect one another. Disco has also tarred and feathered Marinara before pouring meat sauce on Vito and the Bull. I’ve heard stupider angles. I can’t think of many but I’ve heard of them.

 

The Mamalukes take over and it’s off to Vito who hits a neckbreaker to give Johnny a two count. After a quick chinlock by the Bull and some double teaming including a wishbone split for Disco’s legs, a double powerbomb gets no cover on Inferno. Instead Vito misses a middle rope splash and it’s off to Lash.

 

Leroux speeds things up and takes Vito down with a spin kick before making the heels hit each other by mistake. Everything breaks down and the Italians hit a double clothesline to take over. Disco and Vito go to the floor as Johnny misses a guillotine legdrop, allowing Disco to hit a splash for two. Everyone is back in again and Disco tries his Chartbuster (Stunner) but Vito breaks it up, sending Disco into Lash for a Chartbuster to his partner for no apparent reason. That and a spinning inverted DDT to Disco are enough for the pin by Vito.

 

Rating: C-. Very basic tag match here but I’ve seen worse. Again though, the idea of this story being based around a guy named Tony Marinara does it no favors and makes for a rather stupid story all around. Disco continues to be impressive though as he was nothing but a comedy character who lasted for many years with the company. He also wasn’t half bad in the ring, but his career was hindered by the character.

Since Johnny wasn’t much of a singles guy, we’ll keep up the trend with another tag match from March 19, 2001 as the Mamalukes have reformed.

Mamalukes vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

The Mamalukes interrupt the Canadian national anthem and look more Irish than Italian with their bright green tights. It’s a brawl to start with everyone on the floor and the Canadians taking over. Things settle down with Johnny dropkicking Lance down but Awesome quickly comes in to run over Vito. The fans chant USA for an Italian tag team as Vito fights back and cleans house. Awesome powers Vito up into the running Awesome Bomb for a fast pin. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

As you can tell, Johnny wasn’t the biggest part of the team and never quite fit in with the group either. He also never wrestled much for them, as you can tell since I could barely find anything from that era. He would go on to wrestle in WWE and TNA though, so there was definitely talent there.

We’ll wrap it up with the one time the Thrillers all wrestled together, at Fall Brawl 2000.

Filthy Animals/Big Vito/Paul Orndorff vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Filthy Animals: Konnan, Rey Mysterio, Disco Inferno, Juventud Guerrera, Tygress (female manager)

Natural Born Thrillers: Mark Jindrak, Sean O’Haire, Mike Sanders, Chuck Palumbo, Shawn Stasiak, Reno, Johnny the Bull

This is elimination style. Yes it’s that Paul Orndorff. He trained most of the Thrillers in the Power Plant (the same place that said one Dave Bautista had no future in wrestling) and he drew about 15 years ago so he’s PERFECT here. Orndorff is a mystery partner here. He SHOCKS the Thrillers. OH NO! IT’S ON OVER THE HILL OVERRATED GUY THAT HASN’T MEANT A THING SINCE WE WERE IN 5TH GRADE! Wait….this is WCW and he’s over fifty…..WE’RE SCREWED!!!

Stasiak goes on commentary for no apparent reason. Konnan makes gay jokes and introduced Orndorff. Wow this is so completely overhyped. No one cheers either. They just kind of breathe. Also, we get to see a 51 year old man that looks about twice that old in lime green tights. Rock on brother man.

This was billed as 6-6 but there are so many people that a lot have to drop to the floor, making it look like 4-4. Rey and Juvy are tag champions as I try to fill space. Ok apparently they aren’t….they just have the belts for the second straight PPV in a row. Rey tags in Juvy to absolutely NO reaction. I wasn’t looking at the screen and didn’t even notice it. Normally you get a sound from the crowd to let you know that something happened but there was NOTHING here.

O’Haire hits a Falcon’s Arrow to take down Juvy who of course is fine like 4 seconds later. Vito, the big guy on the team I guess, beats up Jindrak and is only there for Johnny. And here’s Disco to again complete silence. Oh never mind they think that he, a face, sucks. Jimdrak, a guy about 6’5, can’t get a dropkick past the ribs of Disco who is about 6’0. Ok Konnan is in the match despite sitting on the floor so far.

Konnan crashes into Disco so Disco accidently hits him with the Last Dance (Stunner) to eliminate him. Shawn says five to go, implying 6-6 to start. Disco can’t get anyone to tag him in so Vito punches him and Reno Rolls the Dice to end him and make it 6-4 I guess. Vito hits an Edgecution on Palumbo for two. Bull hits Vito in the head with a kendo stick and a Roll of the Dice (rolling cutter, Cross Roads) ends him.

That leaves it as Juvy, Rey and Orndorff left, so Madden suggests that Tygress is on the team too. So then Tony says it’s 6-2 as Orndorff is there for…..oh screw it let’s just get this over with. Guerrera hits a flying…..something to Reno. Tony calls it a body attack which sounds like something from Mortal Kombat. Juvy Driver and WHAT’S UP on Reno makes it however many vs. however many. Oh and over ten minutes in and I think there are 4 people that haven’t even been in yet.

Rey and Juy apparently ARE the tag champions here. Tony said they weren’t 8 minutes ago and now they are. My goodness I know WCW at this time is called insane but I’ve always thought it was overhyped. In this match alone, about ten minutes long at this point, we can’t establish how many original participants there were in this match, we’ve gotten three different answers as to how many people are left on one of the teams at this point, and we don’t even know if two guys are tag team champions? Ok according to Wikipedia they are the champions but are forced to forfeit them tomorrow for no given reason. Now why can I establish that and the paid announcers can’t?

The fans hate Tygress all of a sudden as Juvy’s plancha is just caught. And then HOLY GOODNESS O’Haire and Jindrak LAUNCH Juvy from the floor into the ring off a double hip toss. That looked incredible. A Swanton Bomb ends Juvy…..and here’s Orndorff. Of course he beats up all the young guys but a kendo stick takes care of him. He hits a bad piledriver to get rid of Johnny the Bull.

Rey and Tygress (now on the apron) just let Orndorff get double teamed and do all the work. Sanders hasn’t been in yet. He of course beats up Jindrak and O’Haire on his own, making them look completely weak in the process. He goes to piledrive Jindrak and of course gets hurt coming down, giving himself a stinger (same thing that happened to Austin in 97 off the Owen piledriver) and O’Haire quickly covers him for the pin because of the injury.

Rey and Tygress I guess don’t get that he’s really hurt and keep going on Jindrak. After a pair of Bronco Busters we get the idea so they beat up Sanders and Palumbo to keep the crowd into it I guess. Pay no attention to the fact that they’re landing around Paul’s legs or anything like that. And they stop the match because of the injury. They would conclude it the next night where Rey and Tygress would beat five guys on their own.

Rating: F. There should be two ratings here. The match itself was entertaining and was about a B/B-, but to let a guy in there that was 51 years old and had retired because of a neck injury and then, shocking no one with a brain, hurts his neck in his first match back in like 5 years is simply irresponsible. I don’t care if he swears up and down that he’ll be ok or whatever. You don’t let him into the ring with his neck hurt like that, and this is why.

He wasn’t even taking a bump and he got hurt. Imagine what would have happened if he had been taking am ove and got hurt like this. There is just no way you can validate letting Orndorff go out there. It didn’t sell any more shows because he wasn’t even announced, so this comes off as just irresponsible by WCW and there’s no way that is ok in my mind.

Overall the Thrillers were a nice idea, but like everything else in WCW the execution was horrible. There was definitely talent on the team but the lack of personalities crippled them, which is a constant problem in wrestling. Oddly enough none of them ever did anything of note, but it wasn’t from a lack of skills. Good idea, bad execution, meaning WCW in a nutsheel.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Anybody remember them?Aside from Daniel Bryan, what did the original Nexus ever accomplish?  Think about it.  Of the main seven guys on the team, here are their career accomplishments:

 

4 Intercontinental Titles

5 Tag Titles

 

That’s it.  Of the original seven (Barrett, Sheffield, Young, Otunga, Tarver, Slater, Gabriel) plus Harris and McGillicutty that’s all they’ve won in their entire WWE careers.  Those guys debuted almost four years ago and have a resume that Chris Jericho probably accomplished in a two year stretch.  They never won anything significant while they were a team and once Barrett lost his title shot they were done completely.

It’s really kind of astounding that they were THE story for four to six months and had practically no lasting impact at all.  Even once Punk took over the group they didn’t do anything as Orton knocked them out one by one in about six weeks.  Even the Dungeon of Doom had more accomplishments than this.  At the end of the day, the fact that most of them sound like they belong in a cubicle at an accounting firm and had character traits that felt like they were pulled out of a fishbowl and assigned to each member (among other things) crippled them.  It’s a great lesson in what happens when you put no effort into characters at all.

They’re the boy band of wrestling: big deal for awhile, people kind of remember them, one guy means anything today.

My best option for today was Dos Caras, so here’s his more famous (in America that is) son: Alberto Del Rio.

After a successful amateur wrestling career, Alberto would become a professional with AAA before moving on to CMLL. Here’s one of his last CMLL matches against Shocker on June 12, 2009.

Dos Caras Jr. vs. Shocker

This is 2/3 falls and Shocker is the technico (good guy) coming in. Caras jumps Shocker during the entrances and blasts him with what looked like a pipe to gain the early advantage. I’m assuming it’s part of a deviloutfit/gimmick, but I think Caras has a tail. He pulls it off and whips Shocker over the back before taking him outside for a suplex on the ramp. Shocker comes back with one of his own before taking him back inside and ripping off half of Caras’ mask, which is a BIG deal in Mexico. There’s a hard low blow from Shocker for a very quick DQ.

We take a break and come back with the second fall and I stare at the gorgeous girl holding up the Round 2 sign. Caras scores with a quick superkick and finally takes his shirt off. Shocker shrugs it off and grabs a cross armbreaker of all things for a very fast submission. The second fall didn’t even last two minutes.

Back with round three (and an even hotter ring girl in even less clothing) and both guys pose on the corners. Shocker comes back with a hard clothesline for two and a hurricanrana gets the same. Caras gets a very slow two count off a sunset flip out of the corner but misses a charge and falls to the floor. A nice flip dive by Shocker puts both guys down but it’s Caras hooking a surfboard hold back inside.

Shocker counters into an STF but Caras quickly makes the rope and throws Shocker to the mat. A German suplex gets a very close two on Shocker but the referee gets bumped. As he gets back up, Shocker falls to the mat and feigns getting hit low for the DQ in an Eddi Guerrero special.

Rating: C+. I liked the match (though not as much as that second ring girl. My goodness.) but again it would help to know the story. Shocker is a guy I liked when he was in TNA but I haven’t seen a ton of him since. You can see Del Rio’s offense here and he really hasn’t changed much, save for stealing the armbreaker from Shocker.

Caras would be in FCW less than a year later, wrestling under the name of Alberto Banderas.

Alberto Banderas vs. Heath Slater

No date given on this one but commentary references an alliance between Slater and Michael Tarver, which history seems to put in December 2009 or January 2010. This is also a rematch from last week where Banderas won. Alberto takes him to the mat to start and hits the hard kick to the back for two. A hiptoss gets two more on Slater but he pops up and stomps away in the corner. We hit the chinlock for a good while before Banderas comes back with a powerslam but Tarver runs out to shove him off the top for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Just like in 2013, I’m astounded by how much more interesting Del Rio is as a face. He has a charisma that makes me want to care about him which is never present in his heel character. The match was nothing special but the character stuff here was far more interesting than the wrestling.

Alberto would make his main roster debut on the August 20, 2010 episode of Smackdown, convincing Rey Mysterio to face him later in the night.

AlbertoDelRiovs. ReyMysterio

Del Rio has his own announcer and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The announcer speaks Spanish of course to really hammer in the whole he’s evil thing. There are clearly empty seats about 8 rows back from the ring. They couldn’t fill those in? It’s pretty even to start as Del Rio hits the floor and we take the last break of the show.

Del Rio works on the arm which is apparently a trait in the company as of late. He hits what I think was an enziguri but it was kind of hard to see. According to the replay it hit the arm, which is a very nice touch. Top rope back splash misses and we’re back to even. 619 is caught as Del Rio has looked very good so far. Out of nowhere Del Rio gets a cross armbreaker and Rey actually taps out. I don’t think a lot of people expected that. I certainly didn’t.

Rating: B. Del Rio looked FAR better than I expected him to here. A clean win is far more than you would expect him to. The looks he gives for the whole match are a nice touch as well. This was a good match and a GREAT debut for Del Rio. I’m fairly impressed, though it’s only a first impression.

Del Rio would catch fire in a hurry and win the Royal Rumble just four months later. He would face Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 27.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.

Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.

A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.

Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.

Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.

That didn’t work out so well but Del Rio would stay in the title hunt, competing in the Smackdown Money in the Bank match.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring.  Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction.  Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily.  Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at.  Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time.  Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.

Swagger takes them both out because that’s just smart.  He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up.  Now they team up and take out some heels.  Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out.  Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing.  Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so it’s not like it matters.

Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot.  Truth dives over to take out all three of them.  Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out.  Bourne goes up and everyone gasps.  SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!!  Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save.  Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz.  Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.

He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it.  I think it’s worked but it doesn’t look right AT ALL.  This might be legit actually.  Miz is carried out but can’t seem to put any weight on the knee.  I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it.  Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne.  The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels.  That looked SWEET.

Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder.  Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails.  Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs.  He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first.  Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.

This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot.  Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger.  Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again.  Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own.  Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it.  All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.

Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too.  Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still.  Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off.  He’s all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop.  They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofi’s knee landed on Swagger’s throat.  HERE’S MIZ!  He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).

Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio.  Never mind as he’s coming back up again.  Briefcase to Alberto’s head but Rey still can’t get it.  REY’S MASK IS OFF!  Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face.  Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified.  Alberto is all alone and it’s over.  Didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: B. Good, but nowhere near as good as the SD one.  The spots here were awesome to say the least but the sloppiness hurt it a good bit.  Miz coming back in was great and an awesome false finish.  Rey losing his mask was rather surprising and I’m seriously wondering how badly hurt Swagger is because that didn’t look like a planned fall at all.  Messy but fun, which is about par for the course in MITB to be honest.

Del Rio would cash in his title shot at Summerslam, lose it a month later, but then get a rematch at Hell in a Cell 2011.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

After big match intros we’re ready to go. There’s a TON of time for this as it’s only about 10 minutes after 10. They emphasize that the fall has to be in the ring. Fair enough. Alberto immediately hits the floor and runs a lot. Both guys chase him and they slide in to get in what they can and the Super Best Friends fight over who gets to beat up Del Rio. Punk tries to steal the title on a rollup but it only gets two.

The big stars face off and both escape the other’s finishers. Del Rio tries to take Cena out but gets caught in an AA attempt on the floor. Punk dives onto Del Rio and Cena to break it up for some reason and back in the ring a neckbreaker gets two on Del Rio. The dueling chants begin but after being a CM Punk/Let’s Go Cena chant it’s turned into Cena Sucks very quickly. See the issue? It’s not so much pro Punk but rather anti-Cena.

Del Rio gets back into this and sends Punk into the cage. Cena is down also and Punk is the only one left standing after he takes out Alberto. He loads up a table on the floor but Cena shoves him into the cage to avoid a bulldog. Alberto gets a chair in and hits a belly to back onto the chair with Cena slowing breaking the chair down. That looked good. There are the chants again.

Cena is in the Tree of Woe and Del Rio misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the post. Off to Punk vs. Del Rio and with Punk in trouble, Cena dives off the top with the legdrop and gets two on both guys. This is good so far. AA is escaped by Alberto and he goes for the ribs/back of Cena. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Ricardo fans him off. Cena and Punk slug it out and it’s boo/yay time. GTS is broken up by a chair swung by Del Rio.

He picks up the chair and comes off the top with it to land on both of the Super Best Friends, getting two on each. Del Rio charges at Punk in the corner but is dropped over the top and hits the stairs on the way out. You couldn’t see it but you could hear it. AA out of nowhere gets two on Punk with Alberto saving. Del Rio is sent to the floor again and this time it’s the GTS to Cena for two. Del Rio saves again and sends Punk into the steps. He’s been the wild card in this so far and it’s working.

Cena is sent into the cage again so it’s Punk vs. Del Rio in the ring. Punk fights back and the Macho Elbow gets two. Cena comes back in and sends Punk through the table at ringside. Cena grabs the STF and Ricardo takes down the referee and breaks into the Cell. Ricardo has a pipe with him but Cena takes him down and throws him out of the Cell. Del Rio gets the pipe and bashes Cena with it. He throws Cena out and locks him outside with the key inside. Ok this is interesting.

The Mexican hits a German on the American for two. Punk goes up and Del Rio hits the running enziguri for two. Cross armbreaker is broken up and Punk fires off the kicks. Leg lariat puts Del Rio down and Cena is just now getting up and figures out that he’s locked out. Punk hits the bulldog as Cena looks for the key. Springboard clothesline gets two and Cena is trying to break the chain and the lock open. Alberto goes to the floor and grabs the pipe. It’s only about 10:30 so there’s plenty of time here. Two pipe shots put Punk down and Del Rio wins it at 24:12. I guess there isn’t a lot of time left.

Rating: B+. Good match here as they had time to work with and made it violent. You can have good stuff like this without blood and this was one of the better ones ever. The ending came much earlier than I was expecting and the championship changing is a nice surprise. Also it gives Del Rio a more legitimate title reign which is something he needed. I’m sure Cena vs. Del Rio is booked for Vengeance though.

It’s not much of a match and the story means nothing, but here’s the main event from the first Raw in Mexico.

John Cena/Jim Ross vs. Alberto Del Rio/Michael Cole

 

The announcers start us off and Cole talks a lot of trash until JR clocks him. Off to the wrestlers for a wrestling match. What a concept. Alberto and Cena smirk at each other and speed things up. The fans are booing Cena…I think. Off to a chinlock by the champ and the fans are cheering for Cena. Now it’s Cena with the chinlock as Josh says Cena weighs 251lbs. That means he gained 20 pounds since his entrance.

 

Del Rio takes over and we’re waiting on the hot tag to Ross it seems. Cole gets some pikes in at Cena and Del Rio gets two. Alberto hits a top rope shot to the head and some kicks. Cena can’t see Alberto. Back to the chinlock and the fans cheer Cena but aren’t really booing Alberto. The Mexican gets a German on the American for two. Cena fires off some stuff but a running enziguri in the corner stops him for two.

 

Alberto goes up but misses a senton back splash and Cena engages his finishing sequence. Del Rio runs from the AA and tags in Cole. Cena gives him kind of a belly to belly to bring him in and makes the hot tag to JR. Is JR a big deal in Mexico? I mean, wouldn’t he be on the English commentary team which most people in Mexico don’t hear? An AA ends Cole and JR gets the win with an ankle lock at 11:40.

 

Rating: D+. Man this was boring. The Spanish/English/JR thing is still confusing but again it’s WWE which at the moment is pretty stupid. I wasn’t into this match for the most part because it was just Del Rio vs. Cena and then a screwy ending. Not much to see here and another weak main event from Raw, which is becoming a tradition.

Del Rio would turn face later in the year and receive a surprise title match against Big Show on the January 11, 2013 episode of Smackdown in a last man standing match.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

Last man standing and Show is defending. Show starts with a hard chop and a slam to put Del Rio down for a short count. Del Rio comes back with a superkick to the stomach but gets chopped right back down again. Show pulls out a table but sets it up between the announcers’ table and the ring instead of putting it inside. Rather than saving it for later Show pulls Del Rio to the floor and casually slams him through the table for a six count.

Back in and Del Rio kicks Show in the ribs to knock a chair out of his hands. Del Rio GOES OFF on Show with some chair shots, showing more emotion in a ten second stretch than he’s shown in the last two years combined. He goes for the cross armbreaker but Show picks him up and carries him to the ropes. Show tries to throw him to the floor but Del Rio hooks the armbreaker over the ropes for a few moments before finally dropping him.

The fall from the apron gets a seven count on Del Rio as Show rests his arm. We take a break and come back with Alberto hitting a running kick to Show’s arm on the floor. Show gets in a shot to break the momentum and slides in another table. Del Rio fires off more kicks to the ribs and dropkicks Show through the table to a big reaction. I’ll give Alberto this: he isn’t backing down.

That only gets a seven as well so Del Rio jumps on Show’s back. After about thirty seconds Show flips Del Rio over but Alberto fires off whatever strikes he can get off to stagger the big man, including a pair of boots in the corner. Del Rio charges into a chokeslam though, drawing an eight count. A headbutt puts Del Rio on the floor and there’s the spear through the barricade as Show is known to do.

Alberto gets up AGAIN at nine this time so Show sends him into the ring again. The WMD connects clean…..but Del Rio gets up at eight AGAIN. The crowd is losing it in a hurry. Del Rio is down at nine but he was up enough to stop the count. Show picks up the steps but misses a charge into the post and drives the steps into his own head.

Alberto blasts Show with the steps and then hits him with them again in the bad shoulder. A THIRD shot finally puts Show down behind the announce table and in a brilliant move, Del Rio turns the announce table over on top of Show. Show can’t escape and Del Rio wins the title at 14:08 shown of 17:38. Ricardo can barely even make the announcement from being so excited.

Rating: B. This wasn’t much of a match, but man alive did they put Del Rio over STRONG here. I don’t think he’ll make it to Mania or even through Elimination Chamber with the title, but this was a great moment and the place legitimately seemed thrilled that Del Rio won the title. To say they’re pushing him as a big deal is an understatement. One thing though: JBL said Alberto survived two KO punches and I read the same in a spoiler, but I only saw one here. Not that it matters much but that was curious.

Del Rio would hold the title going into Wrestlemania 29 where he would defend against the winner of the Elimination Chamber, Jack Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger’s entrance is cut off as he and Colter are in the ring after the video package. Colter goes on his usual rant about how awful New York is because of all the non-English languages being spoken. Apparently those foreigners are plotting something. Swagger pounds away to start but Del Rio sends him to the floor for a baseball slide. Alberto pounds on Jack on the floor for a bit before heading inside again. Colter starts distracting the champion immediately and Jack takes over.

A hard clothesline gets two for Swagger and it’s off to an armbar, which Del Rio rolls up for two. Swagger comes back with the Vader Bomb for two but as he tries to wrap the champion’s legs around the post, Alberto pulls Jack’s shoulder into the post. Back in and Swagger charges into a boot to the face and there are some clotheslines from the champion. Both Swagger and Colter get kicked in the face with the actual wrestler getting covered for two as a result.

The armbreaker is countered and Swagger hits a high belly to belly suplex for two. Jack goes after the leg but the Patriot Lock is quickly broken up. The Vader Bomb is broken up as well and Del Rio hits the ten forearms to the back followed by the Backstabber for two. The champion hits a hard German suplex for two but the armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb for two.

There’s another Patriot Lock but as Swagger tries the grapevine, Del Rio slides over into the armbreaker in a sweet counter. Jack powers out of that into the Patriot Lock again but Alberto makes the rope. Another gutwrench powerbomb is countered and Del Rio fires off a kick to the head, only to hurt his ankle even more.

The corner enziguri hits Swagger but Colter puts the foot on the ropes at two. Ricardo goes after Zeb but gets kicked in the ankle. Del Rio and Colter both have a crutch but the distraction lets Swagger deck Alberto. They head back in and there’s the cross armbreaker out of nowhere for the tap out at 10:37. It was as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. That ending came out of nowhere and cut short what was looking to be a good match. Thankfully they kept this a mat based match which is where both of these guys shine. The counters were pretty sweet out there and both guys looked good, but at the end of the day that ending stopped this dead in its tracks, which is a shame.

Alberto would trade the title with Dolph Ziggler over the summer before heading into Summerslam to defend against Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Christian won a three way to get the shot and has pinned Del Rio twice in the last few weeks. Alberto makes Lillian do his intro in Spanish in a nice touch. Christian quickly sends Del Rio out to the floor but misses a baseball slide. Back in and Del Rio escapes a top rope rana attempt and hits an enziguri to send Christian into the Tree of Woe. Alberto fires off kicks to the chest and a running one somewhere near the shoulder.

Del Rio sends the shoulder into the barricade, meaning he has his psychology boots on tonight. Alberto sends Christian crashing down to the mat and hits a dropkick to the shoulder. King: “That’ll shake your maracas.” A top rope stomp to the shoulder gets two but Christian avoids a running crotch attack in the ropes to send the champion to the floor. Christian hits a BIG dive off the top to take Del Rio down again and Christian pounds away back inside.

Del Rio misses a top rope enziguri and takes a high cross body for two. Alberto begs for a breather but suckers Christian in for a headbutt to the ribs. Christian flips out of a belly to back but can’t hit the Killswitch. The sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the Backstabber (the knees clearly slid off to the side and never hit the back) for two. A rollup gets two for Christian but he gets caught by the corner enziguri for another near fall. This is MUCH better than I was expecting coming in.

The sunset flip out of the corner is blocked by Alberto but Christian hits a running enziguri of his own. A top rope hurricanrana gets a VERY close two for the challenger as the fans are way into these near falls. The spear is countered by a fast dropkick for two for the champion and the low superkick gets the same. Del Rio lowers his knee pad but another shot to the head is countered into a rollup for two. There’s the spear but Christian’s arm gives out (THANK YOU! Edge did the same spot in 2001 but pinned Lance Storm like it was nothing). Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere and Christian TAPS at 12:34.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this match but the 50/50 booking is so stupid. Christian beat Del Rio twice clean in a few weeks but now Del Rio gets a win so we’re supposed to be impressed? It doesn’t work that way no matter what WWE thinks. Enough of the bad stuff though as this was a great match with both guys looking awesome out there. The crowd was totally into it and the ending was a surprise. Really good stuff here.

We’ll wrap it up with a match against the hottest star in wrestling right now.

Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title of course. Daniel is aggressive to start but gets caught in a quick suplex and chinlock less than two minutes into the match. Bryan suplexes out of it and fires off the kicks, only to get caught in a Backstabber for two. Del Rio avoids a running dropkick in the corner and stomps away as we take a break. Back with Bryan missing the headbutt but almost getting the YES Lock, only to have Del Rio make the ropes. Del Rio comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two as he’s bleeding from the lip a bit.

Bryan explodes out of the corner with a clothesline but Del Rio hits a Codebreaker on the arm for two. A middle rope dropkick gets two for Del Rio and he avoids a charge, sending Bryan shoulder first into the post. The corner enziguri misses though and both guys are down. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest and the running dropkick in the corner followed by the top rope hurricanrana for two.

Del Rio is kicked to the floor and hit by the FLYING GOAT. Back inside and the missile dropkick has Del Rio in trouble but here’s Orton on the big screen. He apologizes for what happened to Brie earlier but says he’ll go check on her. Orton goes into the trainer’s room and Brie can be heard screaming after the door shuts. Bryan gets rolled up for two but kicks Del Rio in the head and runs to the back for the countout at 16:29.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but this show is so far beyond saving at this point that it doesn’t matter. At least they didn’t do the same distraction leads to a pin sequence and they didn’t job the champion again. This Orton vs. Bryan feud is just not working though and I think everyone knows it.

Alberto is a very talented gu\y who can work a great match at times, but at the same time his character in WWE has crippled him for years now. There’s just nothing there that we haven’t seen before and it’s really become a problem. His in ring psychology is always great and he’s fine once the bell rings, but unfortunately that’s nowhere near as important.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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We’ll switch from Canada to Puerto Rico today with Carlito.

Carlito is of course the son of legendary Puerto Rican wrestler Carlos Colon and got his start in his dad’s promotion, the World Wrestling Council. To be clear, I don’t know a ton about Puerto Rican wrestling so I’ll keep it simpler with them. From what I can tell, one of Carlito’s (Carly Colon in the WWC) biggest rivals is Ray Gonzales, so here’s their first meeting from January 6, 2000.

Carly Colon vs. Ray Gonzalez

Carlito has almost no hair here and is in a white undershirt and black pants. It’s actually a FAR better look than he had in the WWE. Gonzalez shoves him down to start and slams him for good measure as we’re still in first gear. Carlito comes back with a hiptoss and slam of his own, sending Ray out to the floor. A backdrop puts Gonzalez down and the stalling continues. Since when is Puerto Rico in south Memphis? Carlito hammers away in the corner before jumping over Gonzalez and trying what looked to be a Stunner, sending Ray running to the floor.

The fans are firmly behind Carlito here and he takes Gonzalez down with a headlock. Gonzalez fights up and is sent outside as the very slow pace continues. I think we take a break and come back with Carlito getting two off a rollup. Carlito hammers away in the corner and goes for the legs but Gonzales rolls outside AGAIN. Back in and Carlito counters a backbreaker attempt with a headscissors but Gonzalez slams him down to take over.

Ray pounds away at Carlito’s head but Carlito comes back with left hands of his own. A nice TKO puts Carlito down again but Gonzalez puts on a chinlock instead of covering. This goes on for a LONG while as the announcers freak out about something. Back up and Carlito gets a delayed sunset flip for two but Ray takes his head off with a clothesline and it’s back to the chinlock. Gonzalez elbows him down and goes up but Carlito slams him down with ease.

A rollup gets two for Carlito as things speed WAY up. Ray loads up a foreign object but Carlito kicks it away and avoids a charge. The referee goes down as Carlito puts on a figure four, drawing in a second referee. Ray makes the ropes and kicks Carlito low before going outside to get a shovel. Carlito throws powder in his face though and blasts Gonzalez in the face with the shovel for the pin. A bunch of fans swarm Carlito after the match to celebrate.

Rating: C-. I have a feeling there’s a big story here that I didn’t get at all. I liked Carlito here as his look was FAR easier to take seriously, but at the same time it was clear he didn’t know how to get through a long match. Gonzalez would get the Universal Title a few days after this and drop it to Carlito before the end of the month. Not bad but the story would help a lot.

Carlito stuck around for a few more years before heading to OVW in 2003. After about a year there, he debuted on Smackdown on October 7, 2004. He would actually get a US Title match that night after talking his way onto champion John Cena’s bad side.

US Title: John Cena vs. Carlito Caribbean Cool

They would shorten the name later. Carlito bails to the floor from a ticked off Cena and we’re off fast. A clothesline puts the challeger down on the floor and Cena blasts him in the face with an inflatable hand. Back in and Cena takes him up for a suplex and does squats while holding Carlito in the air. A big backdrop takes Carlito down again and a legdrop gets two. There’s a side slam to send Carlito outside and John whips him into the steps for good measure.

Back in and Cena gets low bridged to the floor and Carlito rams him into the announce table. Carlito rakes the eyes and loads up a piledriver, only to be catapulted into the crowd. We take a break and come back with Cena ramming Carlito into the buckle but missing a middle rope cross body. A suplex gets two on the champion and a slingshot elbow drop gets the same.

We hit the chinlock on John but he fights back with a backdrop. Cena makes his comeback and gets two off the Shuffle but Carlito counters the AA. He bails to the floor and brings in the title belt but it’s only a distraction. The referee takes it away so Carlito gets Cena’s chain and knocks him out cold for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. That’s quite the debut but it doesn’t make him look like anything impressive. I remember watching this live and not getting the appeal of Carlito at all. He looked different but he didn’t do anything to impress me at all. This feud never worked for me either and I’m afraid that’s mainly on Carlito.

Carlito would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to a ticked off Cena in about 30 seconds. He would then pick up a bodyguard in Matt Morgan and face Big Show at Judgment Day 2005.

Big Show vs. Carlito

After a quick Carlito promo running down Minnesota we’re ready to go. Carlito runs a lot until Show finally gets his hands on him. Show chops away as Cole says that’s like hitting yourself in the chest with a frying pan. One, why would you know what that feels like? Two, why would you hit yourself with a frying pan? Three, wouldn’t it be like someone hitting you with a frying pan? Four, why am I paying attention to Michael Cole?

Anyway, Show dominates because Carlito has nothing to fight him with. Morgan interferes and gets in some offense on the floor but Show kicks out of the covers from Carlito with ease. Cole says Show’s head is like a typewriter. How in the world does his head remind you of a typewriter? Show keeps hammering away but accidently elbows the referee. Low blow puts Show down and Morgan pops in for a big boot and an F5 (bad execution, awesome setup) for Carlito to get the pin.

Rating: D. This probably should have been on Smackdown to set up Morgan vs. Show which is a more interesting match. No one was really interested in Show vs. Carlito as Carlito had no real threat to Show at all as you saw here. Pretty boring match but Morgan looked very impressive.

Soon after this Carlito would be sent to Raw and receive an Intercontinental Title shot in his first match on Mondays, facing Shelton Benjamin on June 20, 2005.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Carlito hammers away to start but runs to the floor when Shelton looks up at him. Shelton tries a dive over the ropes but doesn’t get a running start and hooks his toe on the ropes, leaving him short of Carlito and crashing down onto the floor. That wasn’t on Carlito as he was in place but Shelton didn’t get far enough. We take a break and come back with Carlito getting two off some kicks to the back.

Shelton fights out of a front facelock and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Benjamin goes up top for a top rope clothesline and a two count. He looks very shaky out there after crashing on the floor. A northern lights suplex gets two for the champion but he walks into a DDT for two. Shelton comes out of the corner with a sunset flip for two and a Samoan drop for the same off a very sloppy looking cover. Even JR points out how bad it looked. Carlito grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the pin with a grab of the ropes.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty bad but a lot of that was due to the botch and subsequent injuries. Shelton just did not look right at all after that and it was really messing things up out there. Carlito was getting more into a groove at this point but it still didn’t work all that well.

That win means Carlito won titles in his debut matches as a member of the Raw and Smackdown rosters. After losing the title he would eventually hook up with the newcomer Chris Masters, eventually receiving a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania 22.

Raw Tag Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

The monsters are defending here. Kane and Masters start stuff out and the 6’5 Masters looks tiny by comparison. Show headbutts him from the apron before coming in legally for some chops. A poke to Big Show’s eye slows him down and here’s Carlito who is immediately chopped down. Masters is slammed down as well with Show throwing Carlito over the top and out onto Chris.

Kane goes up top and dives onto both guys as the challengers are in trouble. Somewhere in between there the turnbuckle pad has been removed and Show misses a charge, going head first into said buckle. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Show suplexes both guys down with ease. Off to Kane as everything breaks down. Kane pounds away on Carlito in the corner and hits the side slam for no cover.

The top rope clothesline misses Masters though and there’s the Masterlock to Kane. Show breaks it up seconds later but there’s the Backstabber to Kane. The chokeslam is broken up by Masters and Show is sent to the floor. Kane’s double chokeslam attempt is broken up but after causing some heel miscommunication, a solo version to Carlito retains the titles.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this is one of the matches that probably could have been cut for the sake of trimming the show a bit. The match was a squash and not a very interesting one either. That’s the problem with a pair of giants like Big Show and Kane: there’s no one that can stop them and the resulting matches are dull at times. Not bad but it felt like a Raw match.

Carlito would turn face over the summer by hooking up with Trish Stratus. Evil Randy Orton would go after Trish, setting up a quick feud with a match at Unforgiven 2006.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

I still like Burn in My Light better than Voices. This is more or less the apex of Carlito’s WWE push. Standard stuff to start which is fine. Randy takes over and we get an RKO chant. I love Canadian crowds. So much for that Randy takes over aspect as Carlito hits some nice springboard splashes. Both guys have nice dropkicks also. Orton’s mouth is busted, which today would bring a match to a screeching halt.

It’s chinlock time, which was more prevalent back in the day if you can believe that. Carlito hits a Downward Spiral which is a required move in this company I think. RKO is countered into the Backcracker and is told they have two minutes left. To end it, Carlito does a double springboard into a spinning clothesline. It doesn’t hit though as Orton pulls him into the RKO in a SWEET counter. Awesome ending to a bad match.

Rating: D+. This was rather boring. It’s nothing great at all as the whole thing was about the ending. Carlito was a rather odd worker as he had such a different style but it just never clicked for more than like one match in a row. This was rather short and didn’t really ever get off the ground, but after the long celebration with Trish they’re likely short on time.

Carlitp wouldn’t do much at all for the next year though he would get back into the title scene at Summerslam 2007 in a triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title with champion Umaga and Mr. Kennedy.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

No real story here other than Umaga is defending and these two are at the Intercontinental level. Kennedy tries to negotiate and gets punched in the face by Umaga. Carlito loads up the apple but gets punched as well, giving the champion complete control so far. The challengers fall out to the floor and finally start going after Umaga at the same time, though it has the same result. Carlito gets in a cheap shot from behind to send Umaga to the floor and Kennedy rams the champion into the steps.

Back in and Carlito gets two off a rollup but gets caught using the ropes. Everyone in this is either a heel or close enough to call them one. Carlito hits a springboard back elbow to the jaw for two on Kennedy but gets caught in a Stroke for no cover. Instead Kennedy goes after Umaga but gets pulled to the floor instead of getting in a cheap shot. Umaga hits a middle rope headbutt on Carlito but Kennedy saves Carlito from a charging Samoan.

Carlito knocks Kennedy to the floor and gets two on the champion before asking for an alliance with Kennedy. The champion won’t be double suplexed but easily hits one on the other guys. Umaga is back up first to clean house and a spinning Rock Bottom gets two on Kennedy. A superkick puts Carlito in the corner and a running hip attack crushes him again. Kennedy sends Umaga to the floor and hits a rolling senton on Carlito, only to have Umaga come back in with the Samoan Spike on Kennedy for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but this could have been on any given episode of Raw. Umaga was fine for a monster and would soon be slain by Jeff Hardy. Kennedy was supposed to be in a huge story coming up but a Wellness violation derailed those plans. As for Carlito…..there’s just nothing interesting to say about him. He exists and that’s about it.

It would be another year before Carlito would do anything else of note when he hooked up with his cousin Primo. The two received a Smackdown Tag Title shot on September 26, 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Primo/Epico vs. Edgeheads

That would be Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins defending the titles. Hawkins and Primo get things going with Primo grabbing a quick flying headscissors for two. Off to Carlito for a slam before he drops Primo on top of Hawkins for two. Ryder offers a distraction and Hawkins sends Carlito shoulder first into the post.

Off to Zack who works on the injured arm with a hammerlock before it’s back to Hawkins for some kicks to the back. Armbars a go-go continue as Carlito keeps trying to get over for a tag. We take a quick break and come back with Primo coming in and cleaning house as everything breaks down. Carlito gets a quick tag and a Backstabber to Ryder is enough for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see either as they didn’t have time to go anywhere and the arm work was completely forgotten after the break. Hawkins and Ryder weren’t much of a tag team and the division was pretty clearly not going to last much longer. Thankfully that would change soon.

The two Tag Titles would be unified at Wrestlemania 25 with the Colons winning the belts. Here’s a title defense in a triple threat from The Bash.

Unified Tag Titles: Edge/Chris Jericho vs. Colons vs. Legacy

The original two teams won’t let Jericho and Edge in to start which is a nice bit of thinking. Carlito and Ted start and Carlito does a gorgeous moonsault off the top. The team that speaks Spanish has the belts here. They’re trying to keep Edge and Jericho out of the ring, I’m assuming betting they’ll win if they get in, which is kind of odd for faces to be all scared like that. I think the fans are chanting for Christian of all people.

This is similar to the Horsemen/Dungeon of Doom match from Bash at the Beach 96 where Benoit and Anderson knew the Giant would destroy them if he came in so they wouldn’t let him in. It made sense and this does as well. Primo gets a nice rollup on Rhodes for two. It’s so strange hearing Orton talked about as being so hated a mere year ago and 9 months before he was the hottest thing in the world. Cody hooks an inverted Gory Special that looks awesome.

The fans love Edge here which is rather odd indeed. Jericho takes Primo out with a Codebreaker and we have Edge vs. fired guy. Carlito misses it though and Rhodes gets a backstabber. A spear gives the Canadians the belts after being in the match all of 20 seconds combined. As I type that, Lawler says it. At least I wasn’t imagining it.

Rating: B. While the wrestling wasn’t anything spectacular, the thought process here was perfect. They planned this one out very well and it made perfect sense which is a great thing in my eyes. They knew they couldn’t stop Edge or Jericho so they kept them out as long as they could. That’s smart booking and it worked just fine.

Carlito would be gone by early 2011 and it was back to Puerto Rico. We’ll wrap this up with a match against Savio Vega at Summer Madness 2013.

Carlito vs. Savio Vega

Again I’m not sure what’s going on here but I think it’s some kind of a power struggle. Vega jumps him to start and the brawl starts on the floor. Carlito gets choked up against the steps and they head inside for the first time. Carlito avoids a charge into the post and DEAR GOODNESS SOMEONE KILL THE FAN WITH THE HORN!!! Vega comes back in but gets stomped down as Carlito walks around a lot.

Back up and Vega scores with some right hands, only to get dropped by a big one from Carlito. Vega still has his vest on and we’re nearly seven minutes into this. Carlito slowly sends him into the corner before scoring with a suplex. Vega tries to get up but gets pummeled with punches and slaps. That guy is still honking his horn. Is that a thing in Puerto Rico or something? Savio misses a splash in the corner and Carlito stands around even more. You could cut out ten minutes of standing there and the match would have the same amount of action.

An elbow to the jaw puts Savio down again for a very delayed two count and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Carlito charges into a boot to the jaw followed by some right hands. Carlito tries a springboard but lands on his feet and gets kicked in the jaw as Savio mistimed the landing. Vega misses a spinwheel kick but kicks out at two as both guys are spent.

Carlito heads outside and pulls out a chair, only to have the referee try to take it away. Savio scores with a nice superkick for two and picks up the chair, only to get into a pulling match with the referee (who seems to be a special guest). Savio lets go and Carlito gets blasted in the head but kicks out at two. A superkick by Carlito gets two for him as well so he loads up the apple. Savio ducks and fires off green mist which misses as well, but Vega grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this far better than the Gonzalez match as they were telling a story in the ring rather than something you needed a backstory to understand. Vega seemed to be the face here and made the classic comeback before countering Carlito spit for spit and winning with a rollup. Nice touch.

Overall….I just don’t get Carlito. I didn’t care for him when he was in WWE and I haven’t cared for anything else he’s done before or since. The hair was a big problem for him as he looks more like Sideshow Bob than a tough guy and the purple trunks made it even worse. Give him the skills he had with the look he was using back in 2000 and he’s WAY easier to buy. Not my favorite guy to put it mildly.

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Thunder
Date: October 8, 1998
Location: Market Square Arena, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

The main stories coming into this week are Bret Hart and Sting having a big old fight in the back to close out Nitro and Eric Bischoff apparently going completely insane because he’s the only person that didn’t see Warrior in Hollywood Hogan’s mirror. We’re still on what feels like an eternal road to Halloween Havoc so let’s get to it.

We open with the laughter and Tony trying to find out what it is.

Mike Tenay is going to a bar forty miles away from the arena tonight to meet with Scott Hall. We go to the bar where Hall says Nash knows where he is tonight and can come find him if he wants. They used to hang out at a place called the Meridian and Nash can come down here anytime. Hall implies that Nash should drop the Wolfpack and just be the Outsiders again.

A limo is seen leaving the arena, presumably with Nash inside.

Kanyon vs. Prince Iaukea

Kanyon does his Who Better Than Kanyon bit and complains when the crowd doesn’t say no one. The Prince is quickly sent down but Kanyon bails to the ropes when he comes back up. Iaukea hits a spin kick to send Kanyon to the floor and hits another one off the apron in a nice spot. Back in and the Prince gets crotched on the top, setting up a neckbreaker out of the corner for two.

Something resembling a Fameasser gets two more, followed by another neckbreaker and a fireman’s carry pancake. All Kanyon for the most part as the announcers ignore the match and talk about Nash chasing Hall. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the Prince grabs a dragon screw leg whip to take Kanyon down. Iaukea goes up top but jumps onto Kanyon’s back and gets slammed back first onto the mat. The Flatliner ends it a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do it for me but I’ve seen worse. Iaukea continues to be one of the least interesting wrestlers I’ve ever seen as there’s just nothing special about him. Kanyon is kind of all over the place anymore as he’ll squash a jobber one week, then get crushed by Goldberg, then be Raven’s lackey. I’m surprised he hasn’t gone towards a midcard title yet.

Chris Jericho is outside a locker room yelling for Goldberg.

Scott Steiner video.

Here are Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell with something to say. Buff doesn’t want to live there so the fans need to sit down and shut up. The Halloween Havoc match against Rick isn’t happening because Rick is scared. That’s quite the announcement. Scott grabs the mic and yells at Buff for allowing his mom to show up and embarrass the NWO on Monday. Buff gets in Scott’s face and blames his neck injury on Steiner. He’s tired of it always being about Scott and walks out.

Peyton Manning is here.

Jerry Flynn vs. Meng

What do you expect here? Meng no sells everything and pounds Jerry down in the corner until Flynn comes back with a kick and cross body for two. Another kick is blocked and the Tongan Death Grip is good for the easy win.

Jericho yells at Goldberg and hides behind security. Goldberg isn’t on camera.

Meng hasn’t gotten out of the ring yet when Chris Adams comes out for his match and gets destroyed for his efforts. This brings out Wrath to pull Meng off and the monsters brawl. They head outside with Meng getting hit by a chair but throwing Wrath over the barricade. That could be a good blowoff match.

The Horsemen are here and immediately handed restraining orders. Dean isn’t given one so here’s JJ Dillon to say that if Dean stays then all of the Horsemen stay. The Horsemen leave and Dean stays as the Horsemen continue to look worthless half the time.

Tokyo Magnum vs. El Dandy

Dandy grabs an armbar to start but gets taken down by a sunset flip for two. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this. A hard slap puts Tokyo down but Magnum comes back with a dropkick. Dandy suplexes him down and the laughter starts up again. Dandy hammers away and they chop each other a lot as this is going nowhere. Cue Scott Norton to destroy both guys and the match is thrown out.

Post break Eddie Guerrero and his LWO lackeys are in the ring. Eddie accuses Bischoff of sending Norton out there and asks El Dandy to join the team. Magnum tries to get in on this too but is shot down because he’s Japanese. Dandy agree and puts on the LWO shirt.

Saturn vs. Scott Putski

They trade armbars to start until Saturn takes him to the mat with amateur stuff. Putski stis out in a nice move and blasts Saturn in the ribs with a kick to take over. Saturn pops back up and runs Putski over before firing off some nice kicks to the ribs and head. Back to the armbar but Putski sends him into the corner and clotheslines him out to the floor. Saturn goes into the barricade and Putski stomps away back inside.

Scott hammers away again with another clothesline and puts on a sleeper. Saturn quickly breaks it up with a jawbreaker and goes off on Putski with kicks and a quick suplex. A top rope knee drop gets two on Scott but he comes back with a nice powerslam for a near fall of his own. Saturn ducks an ax handle and suplexes Putski down again. The Death Valley Driver ends Putski with far less ease than expected.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here but like Kanyon, why was Saturn never allowed to go after the US Title or something like that? He was having good matches and interesting stories, but I guess there was no interest because he wasn’t in an NWO shirt. Putski had a decent look and wasn’t half bad in the ring actually.

Here’s Disciple with something to say. He goes on a horrible rambling speech about Hogan not making his career and how Hogan has turned WCW into his playground. Disciple calls out Horace Hogan, saying Horace doesn’t deserve a job. Cue Horace for a match. Oh joy.

Horace vs. Disciple

Horace jumps him but gets his eyes raked to slow him down. A neckbreaker puts Horace down for two but he comes back with a belly to belly suplex. Disciple no sells it and comes back with a ridiculously slow Stunner for the pin. To clarify, they’re fighting over whose career Hogan made less, but guys like Juvy, Kidman and about 30 other talented guys can’t get a two minute match.

Horace jumps him post match.

Long video for Warrior vs. Hogan.

Here’s Jericho in the ring to call out Goldberg. First off, Jericho says get well Brian and come back soon, referring to Brian Hildebrand, more commonly known as referee Mark Curtis, who is fighting cancer. Jericho says Goldberg is more green than gold, so get out here right now. There’s no Goldberg so Jericho says start counting and declares himself the winner by countout.

Bret Hart comes out and tells Tony he can take care of this by himself. He’s been waiting a long time to face Sting and wants a match with him at Halloween Havoc. Sting better bring everything he’s got….and that’s it.

Horsemen montage.

Here’s Dean Malenko to sit in a chair in the middle of the ring. Bischoff seems to have forgotten about him but he’s not leaving until he gets a match. Cue Eric who gives Dean the Barbarian. On the way to the ring, Eric asks Jimmy Hart what Barbarian makes. Jimmy says $500,000 (!) and Eric offers to double it if Barbarian wins.

Dean Malenko vs. Barbarian

Barbarian goes right after Dean and Eric sits in on commentary. All monster to start with stomps, slams and punches. Dean’s comeback is easily stymied as he’s rammed into the corner to block a suplex attempt. Barbarian’s superplex is countered as well and Dean scores with a missile dropkick. Jimmy tries to interfere but Barbarian accidentally runs him over, setting up the Cloverleaf for the quick submission. Bischoff freaks out and beats on Schiavone with some papers.

Goldberg vs. Page video.

The laughter starts up again as Raven comes out with something to say. He wants to know why DDP gets all this attention and no one worries about him. Page pops up and says he’ll bang Raven.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

Raven chokes Page to start and blocks an early Diamond Cutter attempt. A suplex gets two and Page is sent into the buckle for a stomping. We’re already in the chinlock and Raven actually gets a two count off the hold. Page fights up but gets kneed in the ribs and sent outside where Raven grabs a chair.

Raven tries to wrap Page’s legs around the post but gets pulled face first into the steel in the most common counter. Inside again and Raven comes back with the drop toehold onto the chair. Cue Lodi but Page rams Raven into him and gets two off a clothesline. A chair to Raven’s back sets up a suplex but Raven comes right back with a drop toehold into the buckle. Raven throws on a sleeper but Page counters into a quick Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it doesn’t work as well without the backstory that made their earlier matches great. Raven’s free fall continues which is a shame as we have to sit through Disciple getting a push because he used to be a midcard star nine years ago. The match was fine for five minutes but at this point I’d give a passing grade to anything decent.

Stevie Ray vs. Lex Luger

Here’s your main event people and it’s already after 10pm. Tony tells us that a MAJOR Hollywood star will appear on Nitro. They pose at each other to start before hitting each other with a basic move and posing some more. Luger takes over with a quick slam and a clothesline but walks into an elbow and kick to the face. Vincent gets in a few cheap shots on the floor and Stevie hooks a chinlock.

Luger quickly fights out and scores with a suplex, only to get caught in a quick jawbreaker. The Slap Jack is countered with a backdrop and Luger goes into the same sequence he’s used for ten years. He loads up the Rack but here’s Hall to jump him. Lex fires back with right hands but Stevie hits him with the slap jack (weapon) for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’ve got nothing left and this was a dull match with a lame ending.

Konnan tries to come out for the save but gets laid out. Hall says he fooled Nash and does

the Survey to finally end this show.

Overall Rating: F. This was AWFUL and one of the biggest waste of time I can remember in years. The most interesting thing all night was Meng fighting with Wrath. Think about that. MENG was the highlight of a show. The Horsemen look like nothing, there was almost no star power doing anything of note and the wrestling was so uninteresting I could barely sit through the show. This had me longing for a Hogan promo so I could at least have something to laugh at. It’s a terrible show and Havoc needs to get here so we can move on to ANYTHING else.

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Smackdown
Date: February 28, 2014
Location: BMO Harris Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

There are no major stops left before we get to Wrestlemania and things are rounding into focus. The only big question at this point is the World Title situation, as Batista vs. Orton seems to be the end game but for the life of me I can’t imagine that actually happening. Batista is scheduled for a big interview tonight which might answer a few questions. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Batista for his big speech. He loves this business but didn’t come back to please the fans. He’s back to be WWE World Heavyweight Champion and the people can deal with it. Batista can destroy anyone put in front of him and he’s the best representative of the WWE, including Hulk Hogan or the Rock. What happened to this business? Where’s the attitude anymore?

The people are chanting the names of 195lbs wannabes but they’ll never be him, so deal with it. He takes his shirt off to show how much he looks like a superstar and promises to destroy all of our heroes on the way to the main event of Wrestlemania. Total heel promo here, which should help with the reactions a bit.

Batista’s music plays but here’s Dolph Ziggler for an interruptions. Dolph says you don’t tell the people who to get behind because they’ll make up their own minds. Batista is a dinosaur and eventually they go extinct. If Batista is looking for the real men, there’s one standing right in front of him that wants a match tonight. Batista says it’s on so Dolph dropkicks his hat off and runs.

Big E./Mark Henry vs. Real Americans

Swagger takes Big E. into the corner to start but walks into an overhead belly to belly. Henry comes in and shoves Jack around before slamming him down with ease. Back to Big E. as this is one sided so far. Swagger gets slammed around a bit more before it’s off to Cesaro who sends Big E. into the buckle to take over. Cesaro actually does his apron suplex to Big E. in an amazing power display, but Swagger makes a blind tag in the process so Cesaro can’t cover.

The Vader Bomb gets two for Jack but Big E. throws Cesaro away with ease and tags Mark back in. Henry powerslams Swagger down but Cesaro breaks up the World’s Strongest Slam with a boot to the face. Big E. and Cesaro fight to the floor and Jack takes out Henry’s leg, setting up the Patriot Lock but Cesaro tags himself in. The Neutralizer is good for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: C-. This was more of an angle than a match which is fine for the most part. Hopefully Cesaro comes out of this as the face as he’s much easier to cheer than Swagger. Thankfully Big E. didn’t take the loss here and didn’t look bad at all. It looks like Cesaro vs. Swagger at Wrestlemania, which is kind of a waste of the new star too.

Del Rio comes in to see Vickie about a rubber match with Batista, but since Batista is busy, Alberto is taking the night off. Oh and he thinks Vickie’s hair is nice. Thankfully Sheamus is standing off camera and comes in to say he’ll take a fight with Del Rio, which Vickie approves.

Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sheamus shoves Del Rio around to start and sends him outside. Cole: “I’ve got to be honest.” JBL: “Why wouldn’t you be?” Sheamus hits a shoulder off the apron and sends Del Rio into the steps. Back in and Del Rio counters the ten forearms before kicking him off the apron. Cue Christian towards the ring as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio clotheslining Sheamus down and Christian on commentary. Del Rio goes to the corner but gets taken down in an electric chair drop. The Brogue Kick misses and a Backstabber gets two for Alberto. Christian doesn’t believe that Sheamus kicked him by mistake a few weeks back and he won’t forget it. Alberto misses a shot and gets caught by the forearms but comes back with a superkick. The low superkick connects for two but Del Rio misses the enziguri in the corner. Sheamus hooks up the Cloverleaf but Christian comes in for the DQ at 9:10.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here but it’s still an uninteresting pairing because there’s no doubt as to who is going to win EVERY SINGLE MATCH. Christian vs. Sheamus is the same thing, which makes me wonder why it’s so hard to book Sheamus. Have him fight guys that can give him a battle and let him lose once in awhile.

Christian runs off, Del Rio gets kicked in the face and Christian runs back in for a Killswitch to Sheamus.

We look at Bryan challenging HHH on Raw.

We look back at Hogan returning on Monday.

Alexander Rusev comes out and stands on a pedastal for his promo this week.

We look at Shield having problems on Monday with Ambrose cositing Reigns a match. The two of them get in an argument in the back but Rollins plays peacemaker.

Batista vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph sends Batisa to the floor to start and the stalling begins. Back in and Batista easily powers Ziggler into the corner and throws him around. Ziggle can sell being overpowered like few others. Batista takes him into the corner for the shoulders but misses a big one and hits the post. Dolph jumps over him and hammers away but has to escape the Batista Bomb. Batista’s knee gets kicked out and a Fameasser gets two but both guys are down. Ziggler gets caught in a pair of spinebusters and there’s a third for good measure. Batista does the thumbs down and it’s the Batista Bomb for the pin at 6:26. Nearly a squash.

Rating: D+. Not a great match but it’s FAR better for Batista than what he’s been doing lately. Dolph is a good meal for Batista and the tweak in his character could help Big Dave a lot. I’m not sure how they’re going to do heel vs. heel unless Orton makes a very surprising turn, but there’s still a door for a third man.

We look at the Wyatts injuring Cena on Monday.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. Bray talks about everything we do in life being based on lies. Men go to work to buy those sports cars to impress men. Then women put on a mask every morning because the world tells them to. Then we see lies on billboards in the form of a man with a plastic smile. He’s the Superman and tells you everything you need to hear.

Bray sings part of What A Wonderful World before promising to spend the remainder of his days slaying the mighty dragon of John Cena with the sword of his tongue. Follow the Buzzards, but here’s Shield for a staredown. Before anything happens, HHH comes out and makes Shield vs. Wyatts II for Monday. Bray taunts Shield by saying they heard their daddy. Reigns gets in the ring and the staredown is on but Rollins and Ambrose dive on the Family. Bray is left alone against all three of them but calmly walks out.

Video on Cameron from Total Divas.

Divas Title: Cameron vs. AJ Lee

The champion takes Cameron down with ease to start but Cameron screams a lot and gets two off a bulldog. Tamina shoves AJ out of the way of a charge in the corner and gets ejected, allowing Cameron to get two off a cross body. AJ comes right back with some kicks to the chest and the Black Widow is good to retain the title at 2:00.

We look at Brock and Undertaker on Monday.

The expert panel talks about what we just saw.

Kane/New Age Outlaws vs. Daniel Bryan/Usos

Bryan and Gunn get us going with the fans chanting for the Goat Face. It’s quickly off to Jey vs. Kane with the Uso being taken into the corner for a corporate beating. Roadie comes in for some shaky punches but Jey takes him into the good corner for a tag off to his brother. A double elbow sends Road Dogg to the floor and us to a commercial.

Back with Gunn hitting a tilt-a-whirl slam on Jimmy and bringing in Kane for a kick to the chest. The big side slam gets two more and we hit the chinlock. Kane wisely takes out both of Jimmy’s partners and a boot to the face drops Jimmy. It’s back to Road Dogg who walks into a kick to the face to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Bryan who cleans house and hits his signature stuff on Gunn as everything breaks down. The Usos send Dogg and Kane to the floor for nice planchas but Billy hits the Fameasser on Daniel for two. Bryan backflips out of a suplex and it’s the running knee for the pin at 11:38.

Rating: C. This was fine and gets the point across with Bryan getting the pin over one of Bryan’s buddies. The interesting question is what Bryan does at Wrestlemania though as a match vs. HHH makes sense but there’s going to be a near riot if he’s not in the world title match. There’s time to switch things around but I’m not sure where they go.

Overall Rating: C+. We’re firmly in that period where it’s all about hyping up Wrestlemania and there’s nothing wrong with that. I like the look of the card more and more every week as the title match looks to be more in flux. Vince waited sixteen years to let a heel walk out of Wrestlemania with the title so I can’t imagine he’ll go heel vs. heel for the belt without a big face being added to things.

That being said, who can they add? Bryan vs. HHH looks to be set in wet cement, so they can either make a last second change to that or throw in a returning Punk. Bryan makes the most sense but Punk in the title match would calm some fans down. The fact that it’s hard to tell at this point makes this an even more exciting time and it’s going to be a fun month heading to New Orleans.

Results

Real Americans b. Big E./Mark Henry – Neutralizer to Henry

Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Christian interfered

Batista b. Dolph Ziggler – Batista Bomb

AJ Lee b. Cameron – Black Widow

Daniel Bryan/Usos b. Kane/New Age Outlaws – Running knee to Gunn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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We’ll head back to Canada for someone a bit better looking than Jacques Rougeau: Gail Kim.

Gail signed with WWE in 2002 and debuted in a battle royal on June 30, 2003. There was actually dome hype for her debut with vignettes reminiscent of the Matrix.

Womens’ Title: Battle Royal

Jazz, Jacqueline, Trish Stratus, Victoria, Gail Kim, Molly Holly, Ivory

Jazz is defending but injured coming in, hence the need for the odd method of defending the title. She’s still able to slam Ivory down but gets kicked in the head by Victoria. This is one of those matches where you can barely call anything because it’s such a big mess. Ivory is quickly thrown out and Jazz lays down because of her injuries. Molly and Jackie are the only ones left on their feet as Jazz is walked out of the ring, apparently eliminated.

Victoria dumps Molly and Jackie and we’re down to Trish, Victoria and Kim. Trish kicks both girls down but Victoria catapults Gail into Trish for the elimination. They go back and forth for a few seconds until Gail counteres a powerbomb into a hurricanrana for the elimination and the title.

Rating: D. The match sucked, just like you would expect a seven Diva battle royal that lasted four and a half minutes to, though the girls looked good in their outfits. You can’t as for a better debut for someone than this and the match quality rarely mattered for the Divas anyway. The fans didn’t mind Gail and that’s not bad for the girls.

Gail would lose the title in a month to Molly Holly, only to join up with her almost immediately thereafter. Molly and Gail would form an alliance over their jealous of Trish and Lita’s popularity, leading to a tag team match at Unforgiven 2003.

MollyHolly/GailKimvs. TrishStratus/Lita

This feud is more or less about Molly and Gail being jealous of Lita and Trish being insanely popular. Standard stuff to put it mildly. Molly is Women’s Champion here and is actually looking good. Lita was out for almost a year because of a broken neck and now wears khaki shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. The non-famous girls jump them early and that doesn’t work at all.

This is Lita’s return match. Oh seriously who do you expect to win this? You have two girls that are about as middle of the road as possible and the first two women to main event Raw. Lita and Gail are the actual starters and Lita nips up as we hear about King having a vasectomy. Molly hooks a Dragon Sleeper on Trish which works about as well as you would expect it to. Gail is gorgeous. That’s all there is to it.

Now Gail does a Dragon Sleeper. Trish walks up the turnbuckles and backflips into a reverse DDT. FREAKING SWEET. Molly looks good as a brunette and in blue. Trish manages to beat up both girls on her own since Lita is bleeding from the mouth. Lita gets the mostly warm but partly cloudy with a 30% chance of showers tag. Trish knocks Gail to the floor and Lita hits the moonsault to get the win which was about as predictable as you could expect.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect here. Lita was indeed a huge deal as she and Trish were just flat out awesome around this point but the injury took her out for over a year. This was nothing more than a welcome home match and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: announce that Lita is still awesome.

Gail would get injured a month or so later before returning in spring of 2004 and being placed in a fourway Womens’ Title match at Bad Blood 2004.

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Lita vs. Gail Kim vs. Victoria

All four are too hot for words with Trish somehow possibly being the fourth best looking at the moment. Victoria is champion here. Trish vs. Lita never gets old especially when later this year they main evented Raw. That’s saying a lot and I don’t mean it was the last match and then there was a big angle to end the show.

I mean Trish vs. Lita for the title was the last thing you saw to end the show and it was built up all night. It was a very cool moment and I completely bought into it. Gail gets an AWESOME hold on Victoria. More or less it’s a headscissors combined with a crossface combined with an armbar but cooler than it sounds. Lita and Victoria botch something and we have no Trish for a long time, signaling that she’ll be winning. Yep there she is to roll up Lita for the title out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. They all looked hot and that’s about all there is to talk about here. Other than that it was just your run of the mill Divas match but with four girls that could actually work which is the best case scenario. Gail being back helps and the girls are actually becoming more than eye candy around this point.

Naturally since the division was starting to take off, it was time for Gail to be released. After a year on the indy scene, she debuted in TNA as the new valet for America’s Most Wanted. Her singles PPV debut was at Hard Justice 2006 against Sirelda.

Sirelda vs. Gail Kim

Gail is looking great tonight. She jumps Sirelda to start but gets powered into a corner and slammed ala Ultimate Warrior. Sirelda loads up a chokeslam but Kim easily escapes. She guillotines Sirelda on the top rope and a knee drop gets two. The fourway tag is officially announced as canceled. There’s a Tarantula from Gail but her high cross body misses. A bad looking World’s Strongest Slam gets two and Sirelda loads up a superplex. Gail knocks her back and hits a bad Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really bad but Gail looked smoking out there so I’ll give it some points for that. Sirelda wasn’t around long and given how awful she was in this match I’m not really surprised by that. Nothing to see here and I think this ended the mini feud between these two. If it didn’t then it should have.

Gail spent a few months out of the ring as a valet before facing Jackie Moore in a cage match at Lockdown 2007.

Jackie Moore vs. Gail Kim

Gail does look good in those little sky blue shorts. They start fighting on the ramp and Jackie takes over, sending Gail on top of the announce table. Gail gets water poured on her and they haven’t been in the cage yet even though the bell rang. Ok now they’re inside (with a nice view of Gail on the way in) and the fans do not seem to care. Gail goes to escape about 20 seconds after they’re in but Jackie continues to be annoying by making this continue.

Jackie takes over and I always wonder why she had a job. Either way, the American hits a German on the Canadian but Gail pops up anyway. They exchange worthless attempts to go up and Gail gets a sunset flip for one. I think Gail gets sent into the cage but it really wasn’t clear. Gail goes up and hits a dropkick and both of them are down. Kim gets up and goes for the door, resulting in a brawl on the apron with the door open. Gail slams it on Jackie’s face but stays in. Gail goes up and jumps off with a cross body (hitting Jackie square in the face. At least she couldn’t make Jackie any uglier) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was rather bad and not just because I can’t stand Jackie Moore. The cage slamming onto Jackie’s head did make me smile but anytime someone beats her up it’s a good thing. The cross body was bad looking, because that could have been a bad injury to either of them. Still though, bad match.

The Knockouts Division was starting to take off and it was clear that a title needed to be established. Since a regular tournament is too basic in a Vince Russo company, we got a gauntlet match for the title at Bound For Glory 2007.

Knockouts Title: Gauntlet Match

This is a ten girl match where you have a regular gauntlet but it’s over the top until we get to the final two. Yep we’re having two battle royals. Kong debuted at Impact so she’s brand new here. We start with Ms. Brooks and Jackie. Good night WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS STAY AROUND? No one cares about her at all and she was always there. Quit shaking your freaking chest because NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEM.

Brooks gets a big boot to the side of the head of the annoying one but gets caught in a German suplex. Shelly Martinez is in third. Oh…these girls can’t do much. Kong comes in fourth and it’s on. Kong takes like 40 seconds to get to the ring out of a minute.

ODB comes in fifth as Jackie puts out Brooks but Kong just goes off, getting rid of Jackie (GO KONG!) and Martinez. Angelina Love (Angel Williams at this point) has the music, the looks and the stage pose already as she’s 6th. Christy comes in and is still amazing looking Kong beats the tar out of her with a rack where Christy’s feet almost hit her head. A Batista Bomb hits as Gail Kim is eighth.

Everyone gangs up on Kong as the medics take out Christy to eliminate her for the most part. The three in the ring get rid of Kong whose shirt flies up as Talia Madison (Velvet Skye) is ninth. Roxxi who is a voodoo chick with hair at this point is last. Love apparently went out off camera so we have four left: Roxxi, ODB, Gail and Velvet.

Gail puts out Velvet as we get a GREAT back shot of her. ODB is out also and we have our one on one match. Gail gets an insane looking submission hold on Roxxi which was like a sideways Octopus Hold. Gail looks sexy in those shorts to put it mildly. They really make her figure look good. Roxxi botches a jackknife pin for two. Gail hits Finlay’s Celtic Cross to end it and win the title.

Rating: C-. Again, is there a reason to mix things up like they did here that I’m just not getting? Why not have an actual tournament rather than this weird hybrid thing? It wasn’t bad I guess but at the same time this just didn’t work like they wanted it to. This could have been a lot better as a simple one on one match but this just didn’t do it for me like they wanted it to. Not horrible though.

Speaking of Russo, we’ll take a look at Sacrifice 2008 and another of his ideas. It’s a battle royal, but the final two remaining get to have a ladder match. The winner of the ladder match gets a Knockouts Title shot but the loser gets her head shaved. For no reason given, Gail Kim can’t have her head shaved so if she makes the ladder match, it’s the last person out of the battle royal’s head getting shaved. Again, this is why people complain about Russo booking.

Knockouts Battle Royal

Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, Rhaka Khan, Salinas, Christy Hemme, ODB, Roxxi Laveaux, Jacqueline, Traci Brooke, Gail Kim

For absolutely no apparent reason, Gail cannot have her head shaved so if she makes the ladder match, the last person eliminated from the battle royal has her head shaved instead. I’ll give Vince Russo 10 bucks to explain his own stories. Roxxi puts Salinas out (not over the top) less than 30 seconds in. Velvet does some fighting from the apron and yeah it’s only there to have a nice shot from behind her. She’s out a few seconds later.

Traci is gone and the fans chant for ODB. Khan puts Christy out. They’re going out so fast that you can’t really keep track of who is still in there. Jackie and ODB double team Khan and Love joins them to get rid of the tall one. Jackie and ODB go out within seconds of each other and Angelina is out at the hands of Roxxi to put us down to Roxxi and Gail.

Gail Kim vs. Roxxi Laveaux

This is a ladder match and if Roxxi wins, Angelina’s head is shaved. This is officially the same match so I’ll rate it all together. The fans all cheer for Roxxi because Angelina isn’t a nice person. Gail sets up the ladder and goes up quickly but Roxxi makes the save. I see no point whatsoever to this being a ladder match but it’s TNA so what difference does it really make?

Gail puts the ladder in the corner for no apparent reason. She gets taken down and Angelina throws in a ladder of her own. Gail does look good in those TINY shorts. She powerbombs Roxxi off the ladder and might be busted a bit. Angelina interferes again and gets dropped by Roxxi. Roxxi gets a SICK spinebuster to Gail onto the ladder and here’s Angelina again….and she’s gone already. She and Velvet shove Roxxi off the ladder and Gail gets the contract.

Rating: D. Well let’s see. The matches combined to take about 8 minutes, the eliminations were pedestrian and nothing particularly interesting happened. On the other hand, Gail showed off a lot of skin and the other girls looked good too so we can’t call it a total loss. Again though: why was it a ladder match? Can someone explain that to me?

Despite Gail being near the top of the division, her contract was allowed to expire and she went back to the WWE in early 2009. Not a lot happened for her though so we’ll skip ahead to the fall and Bragging Rights 2009 for a battle for brand supremacy.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad.

This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

One of the few high points for Gail in the WWE would be making the finals of a tournament for the vacant Divas Title against Maryse on February 10, 2010.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Gail Kim

Gail Kim is incorrectly called a two time Womens’ Champion. Gail slides to the corner to avoid a charge from the blonde and gets two off a bulldog. Maryse comes back with a kick to the face for two of her own but gets rolled up for another near fall. Kim goes up top but completely misses a top rope cross body to put both girls down. A victory roll doesn’t work for Gail and a quick DDT gives Maryse the title. This was nothing.

Gail stuck around for several more months until an interesting incident took place on August 5. It was a battle royal (shocking) and Gail was told to be out in the first minute. No one was able to do it, so she got out of the ring herself. This didn’t exactly look right and WWE took her off TV as a result and let her contract run out. It was back to TNA where she would team up with Madison Rayne to challenge Tara and Miss Tessmacher for the Knockouts Tag Titles on November 3, 2011.

Knockout Tag Titles: Tara/Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

 

Time for the monthly defense of the titles. Brooke’s outfit is designed like a Texas flag for some reason. She and Madison start us off but it’s off to Tara quickly. The arm work begins as the champions are tagging fast. Gail comes in and is all dominant and evil for a bit. Tessmacher’s corner hijinks don’t really work this time. Gail beats on Brooke a bit more until it’s a hot tag to Tara. Everything breaks down and there’s the Widow’s Peak. Karen Jarrett has the referee though and Eat Defeat gives us new champions at 5:05.

 

Rating: D+. It’s not like anyone cares about the belts, but this is what you do with the titles here as they’re actually having a division wide angle going on. Karen is evil and trying to have her girls get the titles. It’s not particularly interesting but a dull story is better than a repetitive one on a treadmill like the Divas have so this was fine, just not that interesting.

This is of course TNA, so why give her one title when you can give her two? From ten days later at Turning Point 2011.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

 

Brawl to start and I really can’t complain about seeing Velvet in shorts like those. Gail is knocked to the floor and Velvet totally misses a baseball slide but Gail sells it anyway. Back in a crossbody gets two for Sky. Kim takes over and here’s Karen on the ramp as the fans chant what sounds like Sloppy Seconds. Gail hooks an abdominal stretch and Velvet fights back with nothing significant.

 

I’m sorry if I seem totally out of it here but I have zero interest in this show for the most part. Eat Defeat is blocked into a facebuster by Velvet but Karen distracts as Madison comes in to lay out Velvet. That only gets two and Gail goes up, missing a missile dropkick but managing a rollup with tights for two. Madison cheats again and Eat Defeat gives us a new champion at 5:54. Really?

 

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the cheating got old fast. Also, they really took the title off Velvet that fast? I’m really kind of surprised by that as I would have thought they would build to Velvet vs. Angelina in the big showdown that has only kind of happened so far. Not great and not bad, but Velvet in blue is always a good thing.

Gail wouldn’t do much in 2012 so we’ll jump to Genesis 2013 and another gauntlet match for a future title shot.

Knockouts Gauntlet Match

Winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. We start with Gail Kim vs. Tessmacher and they trade rollups to start. Tessmacher can’t hit her Stinkface and Kim clotheslines her down for two. Gail goes up but gets crotched, allowing Tessmacher to hit an X-Factor out of the corner for two. That means nothing though as Gail makes her Eat Defeat for the first elimination.

Next in is ODB who stops a charging Gail on the ramp. Back in and Kim gets spanked because that’s what happens in women’s wrestling. A splash crushes Gail and there’s a bronco buster to hammer in the point. They trade rollups and Gail avoids having her face rammed into ODB’s crotch before rolling her up with tights for the pin.

Mickie James is in next and she takes Gail down quickly, only to get caught by a running shoulder in the corner. A neckbreaker puts Gail down as do an enziguri and a flapjack. We head to the floor for a headscissors from James before heading inside where Gail molests the referee. A rollup on Mickie with another handful of tights gets another pin.

Velvet Sky is the last chick in this so she can beat a weakened Gail which is supposed to make us care I guess. I can live with Velvet in a catsuit though. Gail sends her into the barricade but poses on the ropes instead of covering. A cradle gets two for Gail but she gets caught holding the ropes. Sky hits her sitout Pedigree for the pin at 12:00. Gail had her foot under the ropes so I’m sure a triple threat is coming.

Rating: D. I can’t stand gauntlet matches for one reason: they’re nothing but a collection of short matches that don’t have time to develop at all and usually result in a bunch of stupid finishes. On top of that, this was your usual worthless female wrestling with stupid moves that are supposed to be sexy but come off looking completely stupid. I’m sure a triple threat match is coming because that’s how wrestling works.

The next big story for Gail was a feud with referee Taryn Terrell, due to Taryn allegedly costing her matches. This let to a last Knockout standing match at Slammiversary 2013.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Gail attacks in the corner to start but Taryn comes back with clotheslines to take over. Gail puts on an octopus hold but lets it go early and only gets a six count. Kim goes to the floor for a chair but has it kicked out of her hands. Some hair drags keep Gail down for a few moments but she manages to get the chair up to block a high cross body. Gail is up first and goes after the knee for a bit before wedging the chair between the ropes. Taryn blocks a ram into the chair but gets caught in the Figure Four around the post.

Terrell is up at 8 and dodges Gail’s charge into the corner, sending her head first into the chair in a SICK looking crash. That only gets eight so Taryn puts her in the Figure Four around the post for eight more. Taryn misses a charge and lands on the ramp for nine, only to be caught in a legsweep onto the ramp for nine more. Gail tries a piledriver but gets reversed into a bulldog off the ramp to put both girls down. Taryn beats the count for the win at 9:18.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in YEARS. The bulldog off the stage was a bigger spot but the missed charge into the chair should have been the finish. It looked MUCH more painful and I thought Gail was out cold. Still though, very entertaining match and I was really impressed with Taryn here. I’d bet on her vs. Mickie at BFG for the title in a veteran vs. underdog title match.

Since that was so awesome, the only solution was a rematch about a month later in a ladder match. From July 11, 2013.

Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

This is a ladder match with the winner getting a title shot at some point in the future. Taryn throws her out to the ramp to start and spears her through the ropes for good measure. The first ladder is brought in and rammed into Gail’s ribs in the corner. Taryn dropkicks the top of the ladder to drive it further into the ribs as Taz is back on commentary. Gail’s cross body is kicked out of the air and the ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. Gail sends her into the side of the ladder to take over but can’t hook the figure four around the post.

Back from a break with both girls climbing and slugging it out on top. They both fall down and land on the ropes with the ladder nearly crushing Gail’s skull in the process. Taryn shoves the ladder face first into a charging Gail but her leg is tied up in the ladder. Taryn has to find a replacement but Gail gets up and climbs, only to be pulled back down by Terrell. The other ladder is bridged between the ropes and the standing ladder but Gail gets off before Taryn can crush her against the bridge.

Gail puts the figure four on Taryn inside the ladder but both of them climb up anyway. Taryn chokes Gail off the ladder and shoves her to the mat, but the knee won’t let her stand high enough. Instead Terrell dives off the ladder with a cross body and both girls are down again. They both climb onto the bridged ladder with Taryn being thrown to the mat again in a big thud. Terrell is up first and hooks a dragon sleeper, but Gail TIES TARYN’S HAIR AROUND THE ROPES. Gail climbs the ladder to get the shot at 15:10.

Rating: B+. Solid match here with a creative ending. The match was so good that it makes me get over Gail getting ANOTHER title shot which I don’t think anyone wants to see. Taryn is showing good promise in the ring which goes along with her looks. I liked the last man standing match better but this was certainly good stuff.

We’ll close it out with a win, from Bound For Glory 2013.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Brooke vs. Gail Kim

ODB is defending. Brooke looks GREAT in a leather version of her usual attire. Gail is knocked to the floor to start with Brooke taking over on ODB in the corner. Brooke gives her a Stink Face but ODB pops up and sends her into the corner for a Bronco Buster. Gail comes back in, only to be knocked back to the floor a few seconds later. Brooke works on ODB’s back and gets two off a quick neckbreaker.

Gail pops back up and grabs the figure four around the post, only to have ODB make the save with her chest. ODB chops Brooke but gets rolled up for a quick two. Off to a half crab on Brooke but Gail makes another save. The challengers both go up but have to shove off a double superplex attempt, followed by Gail hitting a missile dropkick on ODB. Brooke adds a top rope elbow (WAY too popular of a move tonight) for no cover.

Back up and ODB gets two on Gail via a delayed vertical suplex. The referee gets taken out as ODB somehow gets both girls up in a fireman’s carry at the same time. Brooke falls off but ODB slams Gail onto her….and here’s Tapa. She runs over ODB and takes her out, only to powerbomb Gail on top of ODB for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Impact and that’s the problem with this show: nothing feels special at all so far. Gail is champion again. So? She’s been champion before, just like everyone else in the division. Nothing to see here other than Brooke looking great.

Gail Kim is a good example of a talented worker whose looks helped her out a lot. She looked great in a tiny pair of shorts but could also work a solid wrestling match. The interesting thing is people remember has as being champion quite often but she only held it once in WWE and three times in TNA. Solid worker, but a step below the other top girls who came before her.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today is another instance of there’s no one interesting today so here’s one of my favorites: 2 Cold Scorpio.

Scorpio got his start in Japan in the late 80s but got his first American exposure in WCW, debuting at Clash of the Champions 21 as a mystery partner for WCW World Champion Ron Simmons.

Cactus Jack/Tony Atlas/Barbarian vs. Ron Simmons/Too Cold Scorpio

Ok so Simmons is world champion and is feuding with various guys because they wanted to make Simmons seem like he had something to do while making the WCW Title a midcard title so that guys like Great Muta and Chono, NWA guys, could be the REAL focus of the show. Simmons vs. Barbarian was the WCW Title match at Halloween Havoc. Let that sink in for a bit.

This is Scorpio’s debut and the good guys sprint to the ring with the announcers having no clue what Scorpio’s name is. This match with having only one white guy in it is Watts’ attempt to make the company believe he’s not racist and of course he made the black dude worthless and the title a joke until Sting saved it. Jack is legit injured here so he was a manager for the most part. Somehow injured he was miles ahead of the guys he managed.

Atlas looks like a freaking tank here. There was supposed to be some guy named Robbie Walker as Simmons’ partner. Considering this is Scorpio when he was young and in awesome shape and totally mind blowing, I think he upgraded. Yeah he’s 27 here as is Jack so both guys are young and just awesome. Scorpio misses a moonsault completely and kicks Jack in the head so he has to tag.

Jack and Simmons now as Barbarian was in there all of 10 seconds. Remember: Jack is badly hurt here but he’s the only credible guy on his team. Ah, it’s the #1 contender: Barbarian. Yes that Barbarian. It’s weird hearing them constantly saying “Simmons’ partner” because they really don’t know who he is. Atlas comes in and is just old. He’s still ripped though so that helps.

Barbarian beats on him a bit but then Jack has to be the one to get kicked in the head. Hot tag to Scorpio who blows the roof off the place. He was SO far ahead of his time it’s not even funny. Barbarian misses the big boot to Simmons which kills Atlas and with Simmons holding the other two off, Scorpio unleashes the 450 which is more or less the national debut of it and you can’t hear Ross’ commentary (which is more or less him losing his mind) over how loud the fans are. Naturally that gets the pin.

Rating: B-. This was to do two things: further the Simmons vs. Jack’s team feud and the bigger one: make 2 Cold Scorpio look AMAZING. To say the very least regarding the second one, JACKPOT. The fans loved him as more or less he was a 240 pound Rey Mysterio and keeping in mind this is 1992, this was completely revolutionary stuff. Awesome debut and everything worked like a charm. Match sucked when him or Jack wasn’t in there though.

Scorpio would become a big deal on his own as a singles guy, including receiving an NWA World Title shot at Clash of the Champions 23.

NWA World Title: Barry Windham vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

This could be bad but it could be good. Windham was just holding the title for a little while before Flair got it back in about a month. Jesse asks what kind of name Scope is. Jesse brings up that he was in the Navy and Norfolk is a naval town so he’s happy here. No one believes Windham has any chance of losing here as Scorpio was young, talented and over so of course the NWA can’t let him have the belt. That’s Flair’s belt blast it.

Jesse wants to know who Jordan is betting on tonight. That’s a great line. Scorpio kicks out of a leaping, and I use that term loosely, DDT. Hey! Wanna know how Badd is? Call the Hotline and find out! Yes, we’ll not only give out private medical records, we’ll charge you for them! Windham punches the heck out of Scorpio and this is pretty one sided.

Fans are into it though so that works. In a very cool move, Scorpio is on the apron and hits a slingshot, note that it’s not a springboard, 450. Scorpio’s comeback is very good but in the end he gets caught just like you would expect him to. The Leaping DDT ends it to retain Windham’s title.

Rating: B. This was way better than it should have been. When Scorpio wasn’t fat and was actually motivated, he could go with anyone and that’s what he did here. Solid match all around although the ending sucked to a fairly large extent just out of boringness. The double title thing still didn’t work.

On to the tag team division that Scorpio was best known for. He would hook up with Marcus Bagwell for a Tag Team Title show on the October 23, 1993 episode of WCW Saturday Night.

Tag Titles: Marcus Bagwell/2 Cold Scorpio vs. Nasty Boys

Naties are defending. Knobbs shoves Scorpio into the corner to start and it’s quickly off to Sags who does…..nothing at all. Back to Knobbs who walks into a slam before a slingshot moonsault gets two for Scorpio. He puts on a hammerlock with his feet before it’s off to Bagwell for a double faceplant. We hit the armbar by Marcus and the challengers take turns working over the arm. Brian fights back and makes the tag off to Jerry who walks into the same arm work.

A double dropkick puts Jerry down again and Scorpio puts on another armbar. 2 Cold goes up but completely misses a splash to change control. A Knobbs distraction lets Sags get in a chair shot to the back and Scorpio is in big trouble. He’s able to kick out at two though as the fans chant WHOMP THERE IT IS. Back to Knobbs for a gutwrench slam but Bagwell breaks up the count at two.

We hit the abdominal stretch from Brian but Sags comes back in for some elbows on the bad ribs. Scorpio tries to fight back but gets caught in a bearhug to keep things slow. He finally fights out of it with something resembling a bulldog and an enziguri is enough for the hot tag to Bagwell. Marcus fights off both guys and everything breaks down. Sags and Scorpio are whipped into each other but Jerry gets up fast enough to drop a top rope ax handle on Marcus, only to pull him up at two. Sags lifts him up for a slam but Scorpio dropkicks them both down, putting Bagwell on top for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. Not a very good match here but I’ve seen far worse. This was the definition of a meaningless title reign as they would lose the belts back the next night at Halloween Havoc. Bagwell and Scorpio felt like a pair of guys thrown together and they weren’t much more than that at all.

Soon after this it would be off to an NWA territory known as Eastern Championship Wrestling for an NWA World Title tournament. Here’s Scorpio vs. Shane Douglas in the finals.

NWA World Title: Shane Douglas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

And we get no entrances or anything like that. Joey said a quick thing about this is it and we cut to the bell ringing. I’m fairly certain that Shane is heel here but it’s not incredibly clear. Yeah he definitely is. The locker room is out to watch this. They try to tie this into the classic NWA guys like Race and Thesz, but for some reason the WHOMP There it is chant hurts the credibility on that one.

They do some decent stuff but it’s a tad sloppy which hurts it a bit. I wonder what Shane is thinking as he knows what he will be doing in about fifteen minutes. They lock up for about the fifth time in two minutes. We get it guys. You can do the most basic move on the planet. They do a bunch of small packages and reversals that aren’t bad but it’s hardly the masterpiece that Joey wants you to think it is.

To change the pace a lot, we have a lock up. A top rope cross body gets two and we hit a chinlock. You can really tell how far the title has fallen when it was eleven years before this when Starrcade aired and the company hit its peak. A top rope dropkick puts Shane on the floor and we have a sign that says I’ve Got Crabs. You can really feel the spirits of Thesz and Kiniski here can’t you?

They really do try to put this over as a classic. Well give Joey a point for trying of course. What they don’t point out most of the time is that Douglas beat Terry Funk for the ECW Title coming into this. Barely Legal was far from Funk’s first title reign. We get back in the ring with Shane somewhat in control.

It amuses me that this was supposed to be the biggest match of all time according to Joey, but that weekend we had Owen vs. Bret in a cage at Summerslam. Anyway, Scorpio misses a moonsault and Shane hits a belly to belly for the win. Scorpio says that Shane was better tonight but he’ll be back. Nice job on stealing the spotlight there buddy.

Rating: C+. This was nothing entertaining at all really. It’s just a match with limited heat and not very good wrestling. I get that this is supposed to mean something in the long run, but dang man, there was just nothing to talk about here at all. It’s not bad but there are about a million better matches.

Then some other stuff happened after the match.

Scorpio is one of the few guys that has been all over the world so we’ll take a look at some of his stuff with other companies. This is one such match from a AAA show, though it took place in Los Angeles.

Tito Santana/Pegasus Kid/2 Cold Scorpio vs. La Parka/Blue Panther/Jerry Estrada

This is IWC vs. AAA. Pegasus Kid you know as Chris Benoit and yes that’s the same Tito Santana you’re familiar with. Estrada is a brawler, Panther is a masked guy and captain and La Parka is La Parka. Scorpio is starting us off but Estrada and Parka fight over who starts. Instead it’s Panther who takes Scorpio to the mat to a HUGE pop. I’m a big Scorpio and Santana fan so I think you know which team I like here.

Off to Benoit vs. Parka. The Parka team is WAY more popular as they’re technically the hometown team. Santana comes in but Estrada and Parka fight over who gets to face Santana. Tito in black trunks is an odd sight to see. Also this is just Tito, not El Matador. Mike says Tito is clearly the weak link on his team. That’s not exactly what I’d say but he’s the Professor.

Parka won’t tag in, ticking Estrada off even more. Benoit and Panther come in to speed things way up and Benoit hits a huge suicide dive to the floor. Benoit is the captain of his team so if he loses it’s over. Scorpio and Parka come in and try to out overdo it. They slug it out but neither guy can take over. Parka fakes taking a low blow and both guys hit the floor. That allows Estrada vs. Santana to come in. Remember that’s legal here.

Estrada is sent to the floor and it’s off to Benoit vs. Panther again. They’re both in blue so that works out well. Benoit hooks the snap suplex but an elbow misses. Parka is tagged in and he walks along the apron for a bit first. The Canadian hits a German on the Mexican and it’s back to Panther again, this time against 2 Cold. They look like their chemistry is way off at times in this.

A powerbomb puts Parka down but Estrada comes in, breaks it up, kicks Parka a bit for good measure and now the heels can’t figure out who to get in. Ok so now it’s Tito vs. Panther. Benoit comes in but misses the swan dive. Scorpio misses his huge moonsault as well. I get why Panther is a champion. La Parka and Estrada fight over who gets to cover Scorpio so it’s back to Panther again.

Parka sends Santana to the floor and sets to dive but hits Estrada of course. Scorpio hits a big dive to take everyone out. Panther misses a moonsault so Benoit hits a Matt Hardy legdrop for two. Panther tries a powerbomb on Chris but Benoit rolls through into a rana for the pin and ZERO reaction, which also might be a cultural thing.

Rating: C. I liked it a little better than the previous one but it’s no classic or anything. The idea here was two different styles and in that theory it worked. At the same time though, the tagging thing isn’t something I can get used to inside of an hour, which is how long this has been going on. It was fine but it’s something I think I’d like a lot more if I watched lucha libre more often.

In 1995, WCW held a show in North Korea which had an audience of, I kid you not, 180,000 people. Scorpio was on the card, facing Wild Pegasus.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is named Wild Pegasus here. Eric talks about how the lives in Korea are as so much is closed off to them and they have never seen anything like this. This really is something to see. New Japan is co-promoting with WCW here so you’ll see a lot of puro in this. This is a pretty choreographed and gymnastics based match to start which the fans applaud.

It’s so strange to see a totally new audience see something like this. If nothing else it’s cool to see their reaction to seeing something like this which they’ve never seen before. Onoo is playing a heel here that only likes the Japanese guys. His voice is very hard to hear as he’s really soft spoken. Benoit hits a jumping tombstone and the headbutt hits on Scorpio for the pin.

Rating: C+. These are hard matches to grade. There are no angles or anything to them as this is really just an exhibition and an attempt to expose wrestling to a brand new audience, even though they’ll hardly ever see it again. That being said, I’m not expecting much from these matches, but it’s nice to see. The grades will be far less harsh based on how these matches are going to be drawn up.

Back to ECW, where Scorpio would win the Tag Team Titles in a singles match against Rocco Rock. He would choose Sandman as his partner and defend the titles at November 2 Remember 1995.

Tag Titles: 2 Cold Scorpio/Sandman vs. Public Enemy

Woman manages Scorpio and Sandman who are champions (along with Scorpio being TV Champion) and come out to Whomp There It Is. Whoever gets the fall here faces Mikey Whipwreck later in the show for the world title. Woman is kind of hot actually. She could look rather good at times. Scorpio dances a lot while we’re waiting on the Public Enemy to get here.

I have no idea what the face/heel alignment is here but I think Public Enemy is face. According to Gertner the TV Title is on the line here also. Yeah apparently Sandman and Scorpio are the heels here. Sandman is billed from…..Utah? Seriously? Scorpio is doing a thing where he says he doesn’t weigh as much as he really does. He does have a gut on him.

Public Enemy is leaving soon after this for ECW apparently. Scorpio offers them a chance to leave so let’s have a dance off. Uh…..ok? Scorpio cuts a rug and Joey dances too. The camera catches him and his reaction is great. Rocco does a robot which isn’t horrible. Scorpio does one also and destroys him. And now we set dancing back about a thousand years with Sandman dancing too. Joey: “Yes but can he walk a straight line?” They want Woman to dance and it’s very short. Crowd is WAY into this.

The champs jump the dancing morons but Public Enemy clears the ring quickly. AND IT’S TIME TO DANCE! The music is still playing as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Just a hunch mind you. Ok so now we’re ready to go with Sandman vs. Grunge. Sandy grabs a headlock but is sent to the floor. Everything breaks down quickly and they all head to the floor.

Everyone grabs a chair and gets back in the ring for a good old fashioned duel. Sandman and Grunge are thrown to the floor and Scorpio follows. They fight up the aisle and a fan offers 2 Cold a frying pan. He steals someone’s prosthetic hand instead. Well why not? Sandman goes into the crowd and Grunge is busted open. He hits a splash for two on Scorpio as we’re bordering on having a regular match.

Rocco hits Sandman with a pumpkin pie and Sandy is in the crowd again. Woman pulls Sandman out of the crowd. Sandman tags himself in and he jumps over the top (!!!) with something like a dropkick. Rocco comes in and hits a headscissors to take over. Slingshot legdrop by Sandman but he doesn’t cover.

Off to Scorpio who hits a slingshot splash for two. Scorpio vs. Rock at the moment if you’re all lost. Rock avoids a dropkick and escapes a tilt-a-whirl, only to miss a moonsault. The fans chant for SD Jones for some reason as Scorpio hits a double underhook powerbomb which is broken up at two.

Standing moonsault eats knees and it’s off to Sandman. Rocco (they’re Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge if you’re totally confused by me changing named) still can’t bring in Grunge so Grunge comes in and pounds on Sandman. Woman cracks Rocco with a kendo stick and Sandman dives over the top to take out Grunge. Sandman gets backdropped onto a table which doesn’t break. FREAKING OW MAN.

Grunge finally goes through the table and everything breaks down even further. Rock hits a big moonsault to the floor as they need to end this soon. A broom handle is brought in from somewhere with Scorpio taking over with it. There it goes though so 2 Cold settles for a Stinger Splash and moonsault for two on Rocco. We’re tagging again now and Grunge gets the hot tag. Sandman comes in sans tag but Public Enemy screws up their finisher and Sandman falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah this went too long. These guys aren’t the ones you want having seventeen minutes. This was better as a comedy match but then again I might have just wanted to see Woman dance. Either way, not much here and Sandman getting the pin was pretty much the only logical choice since he lost the title to Mikey in the first place.

After a few more months in ECW it was off to the WWF where Scorpio would become a pimp in a zoot suit named Flash Funk. One of his first big matches was at In Your House 12.

Leif Cassidy vs. Flash Funk

 

Cassidy is more famous as Al Snow but is one half of the New Rockers here. Funk is more famous as 2 Cold Scorpio and is basically a pimp without calling him as much. He has Funkettes and funk music, basically making him the original Brodus Clay. Even Vince dances to the theme song a bit. After a long dance sequence by Funk and his girls we’re ready to go. Funk shoves Cassidy into the ropes to start and dances a bit, only angering Leif as a result.

 

They trade wristlocks until Flash spins around and grabs an armbar on the mat. Cassidy spins up but a flying snap mare takes him right back down. Funk flips out of a Boston crab attempt and takes Leif down into a headlock. Back up and Flash tries to go up but slips off the ropes, only to pop back up and hit a cross body to set up another armbar. A headscissors out of the corner is countered into a reverse powerbomb by Cassidy and the Rocker takes over.

 

Cassidy blocks a right hand and traps Funk’s arms for some headbutts, followed by a belly to belly over the top and out to the floor. Leif follows it up with a springboard moonsault to the floor in a great looking dive. Back in and we hit the chinlock but Flash fights up and dances a bit more. Another powerbomb attempt by Cassidy is countered and Flash lands on his feet, dancing again. Leif comes back with a sitout spinebuster for a very delayed two count. Off to a modified dragon sleeper but Leif lets him go very quickly for some reason.

 

Funk avoids a middle rope moonsault as you can see a lot of empty seats not that far from the ring. Funk hits the ropes and cartwheels into a spinning enziguri, sending Leif out tot he floor. Another big dive takes Cassidy down before a gorgeous top rope moonsault gets two for Funk. They trade some quick rollups for two each until Flash scores with an enziguri and the Funky Flash Splash (450 and yes that’s the real name) gets the pin. We even get a rare error from JR who calls it a Shooting Star Press.

 

Rating: B-. This took awhile to get going but for its time, this was pretty awesome. Funk is a personal favorite of mine who could fly like few other mainstream guys at this time. Cassidy was no slouch either but it would take an absurd gimmick to get him noticed, which is a shame at the\\\ end of the day.

Continuing the international theme, Flash was on the March 3, 1997 episode of Raw, held in Germany.

Sultan vs. Flash Funk

Sultan is Rikishi. Jim Ross has joined us on commentary. Lawler calls in and yells at Vince for having ECW guys on Raw. Didn’t Jerry invite him? If the ECW guys show up next week, Lawler will finish the fight. After a break the match is joined in progress with Sultan running him over. Flash does his usual flying around the ring to get in some offense but Sultan hooks him in a sleeper. Heyman calls in to say Lawler is over the line. The challenge is accepted but it might not be next week. Standing rana sets up a top rope moonsault for two by Funk. Sultan counters a headscissors and the camel clutch ends this quick.

Rating: C-. This match was fine but it’s by far and away the weakest of the matches as far as star power goes. Good match here as Funk is always someone I love watching. Sultan was a dead end gimmick and more or less stopped meaning anything after Mania when Rocky beat him in the IC Title match.

To England, from One Night Only, a one off show (appropriately enough) from Birmingham in September of 1997.

Flash Funk vs. The Patriot

Flash Funk is more commonly known as 2 Cold Scorpio and is a pimp without the name of being one. Patriot showed up a few weeks before this and somehow had a title shot at the previous PPV which went nowhere. Naturally he “came within an eyelash” but that didn’t mean anything after that show.

Patriot has Angle’s old music which it’s just odd to hear in 1997. He’s more or less a heel here since he comes out with the American flag. Patriot says he wears a mask because he represents the face of every American. I don’t know that many men that have golden skin like that. Flash is wearing a freaking zoot suit. This isn’t as good of a match as it could be but it’s ok I guess.

It’s about as generic as you could get but that’s fine. Vince calls Flash the Funkmeister. I’m done. Patriot was just annoying as he never went anywhere. He wasn’t that good at all but was built up to be this great worker which he just wasn’t at all. They keep saying the reason they’re not being all violent and crap is because they don’t hate each other. That’s better than nothing I guess.

If nothing else this should tell you everything you need to know about Patriot: his finishers are a full nelson slam called the Uncle Slam and a top rope shoulder block called the Patriot Missile. Funk’s finisher is called the Funky Flash Splash. A full nelson slam ends this. That was a waste of time.

Rating: C-. Again, this was just there. It wasn’t particularly good or bad, but Patriot got some decent heat which is really all you can ask for. Funk went for a big move from the top and it missed for the Uncle Slam. That’s better than nothing I guess. It could have been a lot worse I guess, but this just wasn’t the best choice of a pairing.

In 1998 there was a quick cross promotional story with WWF and ECW that saw Flash go to ECW for a night at Living Dangerously 1998 against Rob Van Dam.

Rob Van Dam vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Van Dam is still a huge heel here but it’s lightening up a lot. Scorpio is over at least. He’s Flash Funk at this point but here he’s just the simple 2 Cold Scorpio and therefore much better than he was in WWF. The more I hear the more I think Van Dam is already a face. They start with a long feeling out process which is fine as they do some decent technical stuff.

 

However, we of course get a botch because it’s ECW. Those things just suck the life out of a lot of matches. I understand that they are going to happen and at least here they covered it up a bit. In the previous match they just assumed no one noticed and thought it would be fine. That’s just freaking dumb. We get a very nice reversal sequence with a lot of monkey flips that ends with a standoff.

 

Very nice indeed. We hit the floor and Van Dam is in the crowd. Well you knew it was going to happen sooner or later I \guess. I think they’re going for the big epic match here but the fans aren’t all happy with it which can’t be a good sign. To be fair though, most of the time not all fans are going to love the thing. The fans want Sandman apparently. That sums up ECW crowds pretty well.

 

We’re given a high flying technically mostly sound match, and the fans want weapons and blood and tables. So many times these fans were just ridiculous and stupid and this is one of them. Scorpio hits a SWEET moonsault. The Five Star which isn’t called that yet gets knees or what are called knees I suppose as it looked like it hit pretty well to me. We hit the ramp for awhile and the Van Daminator is more or less no sold. Hint for how to counter: HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR. Seriously dude, use some freaking intelligence.

 

A piledriver on the ramp and Van Dam is hurt. And there goes the referee because in a no DQ match we need a referee for…? Van Dam tries to steal the 450 and would have missed completely anyway. Scorpio mostly hits the 450 and here’s Sabu to up the workrate. An Arabian Facebuster gets two. Sandman comes out to chase off Sabu. Van Dam gets a SWEET jumping rollup for the pin. Post match Van Dam acts very cocky and offers a handshake but Scorpio nails him to a big pop.

 

Sabu comes back with a table so they try to put Scorpio through it. Naturally this doesn’t work as Sandman makes the save. In a stupid moment, as Scorpio is laying on it and Sandman makes the save, he pops up as soon as Sandman is here. Yeah that didn’t look dumb at all. Sandman tries a hurricanrana from the top through the table on Sabu. Guess what happens. Go ahead and guess. Anyway, the two faces share a beer after the match. Sandman dances. This is disturbing.

Rating: B-. This was good, but it suffers from the same problem that it always does: Paul Heyman overbooking it. Can ANYONE explain to me why Sabu and Sandman had to come in there? I know RVD and Sabu are partners, but he had no business coming to ringside at all. Just let him be Scorpio.

O Canada! From Breakdown 1998.

Too Much vs. Scorpio/Al Snow

 

Snow is completely insane and carries a mannequin head with him. Too Much is Brian Christopher and a newcomer named Scott Taylor. The fans get all over Too Much, sending Taylor into a fit before he starts with Scorpio. Feeling out process to start with Scorpio cranking on a wristlock before dropping him with a spinwheel kick. Taylor flips around and takes Scorpio down with a dropkick, only to have Scorpio in his face by the time Taylor nips up.

 

It’s off to Snow vs. Christopher with Snow hitting a bunch of headbutts to gain the early advantage. Things start to break down a bit with Scorpio bringing a chair into the ring but Snow uses it as a launching pad to dive at Taylor in the corner. Taylor falls face first into Christopher’s crotch to make the crowd wince. Christopher misses a charge at Snow on the floor and Scorpio hits a top rope splash on Taylor for two.

 

Snow moonsaults Christopher off the apron before heading back inside to slam Taylor. Scorpio goes up top but takes too long, allowing Brian to crotch him down to the floor. Taylor hits a nice springboard dive to take Scorpio down again. Things settle down with Too Much hitting a double backdrop on Scorpio but Christopher stops to dance.

 

Snow comes in sans tag with Head to clean house, only to hit Scorpio by mistake. The referee checks on Scorpio, allowing Al to hit Taylor low for a close two. The save is botched a bit with Christopher coming off the top late and the referee just stopping his count. Scorpio makes a save of his own (also a bit late) but Snow pops up and Snow Plows (scoop brainbuster) Taylor for the pin.

 

Rating: C. The ending was pretty messy but the rest of the match wasn’t bad at all. Scorpio had some incredible talent and Snow was one of the most underrated guys on the roster. Too Much would get far better when they stopped being goofy heels and became dancers. If nothing else it was probably better than the original idea for them: the first openly gay (and in love) tag team.

Scorpio left WWF soon after this and hit the indies. We’ll go from there down to as far south as you can get: perhaps the worst wrestling show ever. If you’ve never heard of this, save yourselves and run now. From Heroes of Wrestling.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Julio Fantastico

Julio is more commonly known as Julio Dinero in case you’ve heard of him in ECW or old school TNA. Scorpio I’m sure you’ve heard of. If not, imagine a Godfather/Luchador combination. Yeah he was a weird one. Why is Julio on this show again? I have no idea either but whatever.

Why do these two and two tag teams have music but Steele and Valentine didn’t? Oh I guess it’s because they sucked. Scorpio is carrying a replica WCW Title belt. I know that because I see it, not because it’s mentioned or anything like that. This match might have potential to be something close to decent. Can’t you hear my enthusiasm in this show?

Lou Albano comes out for commentary for absolutely no apparent reason. I think he just wandered in here and needed a place to sit down. Albano, having no apparent power or anything, has the authority to give both announcers raises. You know, for the one night show, they’re getting raises for next week.

Albano babbles a lot but if you listen to him, he seems like he knows his stuff. Of course he does, but it’s so much rambling it’s hard to say. Can we just let him talk all night? He’s FAR more entertaining and interesting to listen to. He’s not bragging the whole time and he’s actually offering some insight and says that it’s a dropkick instead of a flying leg kick.

He then offers this and I had to listen at least three times to get all this. He says this about Randy: he’s a nice guy but he looks like he’s got the brain of a dehydrated baby if they put him in a pigeon pack and had him fly backwards. Ladies and gentlemen, this man was responsible for what became Wrestlemania. Apparently Lou looks like a pitbull in heat next to Dinero. This is making the show, hands down.

The match is very sloppy as Scorpio is having to carry this, but that’s the best choice I guess. There’s some decent stuff in there though but it’s just sloppy. We see Scorpio holding the ropes and pulling back for something but we go to a shot of Dinero and just see him being crashed on. Nice one guys. Scorpio’s hair is braided by the way.

Dinero isn’t bad at all actually and it was this match that got him a job with ECW of all things. In other words, Heyman or someone under him actually watched this and scouted talent from it. What does that tell you? Dinero takes a nice backdrop over the railing onto the floor.

They fight into the crowd and we can’t see crap because of the lighting and an annoying kid in a 49ers jersey. And the announcers point out that they don’t know what’s going on. Nice one guys. The referee sees a low blow and is fine with it of course. Dutch: we have a 2 count. The referee counted two. THANKS FOR THAT.

Albano gets on Randy for the leg kick thing again which is kind of amusing I guess. This needs to end like NOW. Dinero shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch Scorpio and that’s fine too.

Scorpio hits Trouble in Paradise which Dinero was going down from before it hit but whatever and a 2nd rope Tumbleweed (Harlem Hangover) hits then he goes up for a moonsault where he twists into another leg drop. He misses by a foot and a half, but that’s decent here.

Rating: D-. By FAR the best mach so far. This got something close to entertaining if you can believe that. The sloppiness just freaking kills it though as Scorpio just can’t do anything at all without botching it at all. There was something close to a decent match here though so that’s better than nothing.

It was back to ECW by the end of the year for a World Title shot on December 10, 1999’s ECW on TNN.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Awesome (the champion) runs Scorpio over to start and Scorpio isn’t sure what to do. Scorpio knocks him to the ramp (the arena is strange as the aisle to the ring is on the level with the ring but the ring itself is in a kind of a pit) and hits a flip dive to take over, but back in the ring Awesome suplexes him to the floor. Scorpio is launched into the crowd and the champion dives over the barricade with a clothesline.

A chair to the back puts Scorpio back at ringside and a charge into the chair into Scorpio gets two back in the ring. Another tackle puts 2 Cold down and a clothesline knocks him inside out. This has been a total squash so far. Scorpio grabs a quick cradle for two and “hits” a superkick to set up a big top rope splash for two. A moonsault gets the same but Scorpio walks into a modified powerbomb for two.

Awesome hits a sweet release German suplex and it’s table time. It is ECW after all. Jazz, Scorpio’s manager, gets in and Scorpio has to save her from being powerbombed through the table. There’s another superkick to Awesome but Scorpio takes too much time to go up top and a HUGE powerbomb through the table kills 2 Cold dead to keep the title on Awesome.

Rating: C. I like both of these guys so I was a fan of this match before it started. This was when Scorpio was a shell of his old self when he was flying all over the place back in WCW in the early 90s. Good stuff here though as Awesome was moving around like Scorpio used to despite being bigger and taller than Scorpio ever was. Fun stuff.

Scorpio went to Japan for several years before coming back to America, mainly on reunion shows or on the independent circuit. Here’s one such appearance from the 15^th anniversary episode of Monday Night Raw.

15th Anniversary Battle Royal

THE FINK does the intros. We’ve got Al Snow, Bart Gunn (man, where did they drag him out of?), DOINK THE CLOWN, Repo Man, Steve Blackman (in far better shape than he ever was when he was a regular), Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse, BOB FREAKING BACKLUND (58 years old here and looking to be in better shape than most of the roster), Gangrel, Goon, Skinner, IRS, Flash Funk, Scotty 2 Hotty, Jim Neidhart, Sgt. Slaughter and Gillberg, who gets a full entrance with guards and pyro sticks and canned chants. That’s AWESOME. This is supposed to be a 15 man battle royal but there are 16 in it. Eh who cares?

Gillberg is ganged up on and tossed immediately. Backlund is out quickly and the point of this isn’t who wins but is just for fun. A Head shot by Snow puts Doink out. Same for Gangrel. HEAD CHEESE EXPLODES!!! Skinner is called a fabulous one (haha) and there go Bart, Flash and Blackman. Repo Man puts Goon out and Skinner puts Repo out. Final Four are Slaughter, IRS, Skinner and Scotty. IRS gets his briefcase but gets it knocked into his face so we can see the Worm. Skinner puts Scotty out but walks into the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter dumps Skinner but IRS dumps Slaughter in the same ending from X7?s Gimmick Battle Royal.

BUT WAIT! Here’s Ted DiBiase, who is officially in the battle royal also. However, he says that IRS has his price so IRS dives over the top, making DiBiase the winner! And that my friends, is why Ted DiBiase is better than your favorite heel. We even get the evil laugh! The match isn’t worth rating because that’s not the point. The ending made me smile a lot though.

We’ll close it out with a win from a losing show: TNA’s Hardcore Justice, because why put on something original when you can put on an ECW reunion show?

CW Anderson vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

You know, because these two have SUCH a history together. They keep calling it the original era because they can’t say ECW, even though they do anyway. Oh this is wrestling. Just to be clear I guess. Amazingly enough, there’s next to nothing to talk about here. Scorpio was great in his time, but he was old in 99 and he’s very old now. This is kind of back and forth and really isn’t bad for the most part. Spinebuster gets two and the Tumbleweed ends it.

Rating: C-. This was actually ok. They had a nice back and forth thing going here with a solid clash of styles going. I liked Anderson to an extent and I always liked Scorpio so this worked well for me. Somehow I have a feeling this is going to be the best match of the night. This wasn’t bad at all though and has me in a better mood.

Scorpio is a guy that is remembered as being awesome but was more of a traveling attraction than anything else. He had some singles success in Japan and ECW but was mainly a tag team guy that made his partners look better most of the time. The stuff he was doing was insane back in 1992/3 and wouldn’t have been seen anywhere else in America. He’s a fun character and worth checking out if you’ve got the chance.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 27, 2014
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

The main story coming out of last week’s show are Storm turning on Gunner to cost him the world title and the official announcement of Lethal Lockdown for control of the company. Bobby Roode will be captaining Dixie’s team but we’re not sure who will be joining him against Team MVP. Other than that we’ll likely get more build towards Joe vs. Magnus. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events.

Kurt Angle is inducted into the Hall of Fame tonight. They couldn’t wait for a PPV weekend in nine days for that?

Gunner is looking for James Storm and promises him a beating.

Dixie Carter isn’t here tonight so Roode and Spud have match making authority. Nice to see that if one boss isn’t around, a bunch of others can take her place.

Here’s MVP to open things up with a long list of nicknames. First up, he guarantees that Gunner will get his title shot once he wins full control of TNA. However, that means that it’s Magnus vs. Joe at Lockdown for the world title. MVP brings out Samoa Joe to a very enthusiastic pop from the London crowd. Magnus comes out as well to some solid heat from his home country crowd. We get a clip of his title defense last week where Storm saves the title for the champ.

Magnus rips on London for slipping from a great city into a town ridden with crime, poverty and debauchery. As for MVP, Magnus is the only person that handles his career, so MVP needs to get on with whatever he’s saying. We’re here for a contract signing tonight and MVP tilts the advantage even further to Joe by making it knockout or tap out only.

Joe immediately signs but Magnus says he’s got a whole decks of cards left to play. He calls Joe an unrefined animal and his fans use horrible chants like Joe’s Gonna Kill You. Joe is a dangerous animal and Magnus is the man that will put that animal down. Magnus signs as well and tells Joe to do something about Magnus getting in his face. Joe headbutts him into the corner and ERUPTS on the champion with rights and lefts. He stomps Magnus down in the corner but referees pull him off.

We get a clip from a house show where the Wolves took the Tag Titles from the Bro Mans.

The Bro Mans and Zema are panicking over losing their titles and decide the easiest way to get revenge is to get on Team Roode. They go to see Bobby but he says Bad Influence wants in too. Tonight Roode is making a triple threat tag tonight with Bad Influence, the Wolves and the Bro Mans. If either the Bro Mans or Bad Influence win, they’re on the team. If the Wolves win, the search continues.

Bad Influence vs. Bro Mans vs. Wolves

Non-title and no entrances for anyone. Daniels runs Davey over to start but walks into some armdrags into an O’Connor Roll for two. Davey hooks a modified surfboard as Eddie and Kaz come in for a regular version of the same move to Kazarian. Things settle back down and it’s off to Kaz who walks into an armdrag of his own. The Wolves start speeding things up and working on the arm but Kaz is able to get Davey into the corner for a double team as Bad Influence takes over.

Daniels teases making a tag to a Bro Man but pulls Davey back in a smart move. Richards is able to get a hot tag to Eddie who cleans house and slams Kaz down for two. Robbie makes the save and Zema is already blowing that stupid horn. Bad Influence hits a quick powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two on Edwards but Eddie comes back with a running Stunner out of the corner to Kaz. Everything breaks down and Davey hits the top rope double stomp to Kaz but Robbie comes in to steal the pin at 5:30.

Rating: C. So they’re putting a comedy team in a match for the future of the company. It didn’t work at Old School and it’s not likely to work here. Bad Influence are also a comedy team but at least they’re capable of having some awesome matches when they need to. The Wolves are growing on me and I don’t have a problem with them winning the titles so soon.

Ethan Carter III has selected a British wrestling legend as his opponent tonight and he’ll become the new face of American wrestling.

Bobby Roode recruits Austin Aries for his team.

Doug Williams vs. Ethan Carter III

The fans are entirely behind Williams and he jumps Ethan to start. Williams pounds away for a few moments before Ethan hits a quick low blow and the One Percenter for the pin at 1:20.

Carter goes after Doug’s knee post match.

James Storm arrives and comes to the ring after a break. He says he doesn’t run and asks Gunner to come out here if he wants an explanation for what happened last week. Gunner says this better be good. Storm says he screwed Gunner out of his title shot and had it planned out ever since Gunner stole the briefcase in Feast or Fired. The nail in the coffin was Gunner handing him the Tag Title briefcase like feeding scraps to a dog. Storm says Gunner should owe him a thank you for picking his career up off the ground.

Gunner says the sad thing is James Storm actually believes that. In the Marine Corps, a thank you was standing next to your friend no matter what. Gunner went over to war so that James Storm could sit here and drink those cold beers. Storm says it doesn’t matter if Gunner had lived or died but Gunner says the people would care. The fight is on and Storm swings a chair at Gunner’s head, only to hit the post instead. Storm runs off when Gunner gets the chair.

After a break Gunner says Storm won’t be able to run forever and he’ll have to go through Gunner.

Magnus is in the ring and looking disheveled after Joe’s attack earlier. He’s found someone to take care of Joe but of course they’re not from England. He went to Germany and found a natural born killer named Bad Bones, who I believe won the international Gut Check competition.

Joe vs. Bad Bones

Bones is a bald guy with a lot of tattoos and some muscles. He jumps Joe during the entrance but Joe pounds him into the corner and hits the Facewash. The MuscleBuster and Koquina Clutch get the submission from Bones at 1:16. So much for Bones.

MVP asks Aries for his decision on Lethal Lockdown. Aries isn’t sure because he doesn’t trust either guy because you can’t do that in this business. He asks to referee their match tonight so he can make his decision up close and personal. MVP agrees.

It’s time for Angle’s Hall of Fame induction. JB gives him a very nice induction and we get a video that I believe aired when he was announced last year. Angle limps to the ring and is given a Rolex watch. He’s touched by the fans’ reaction and says the Hall of Fame is about the fans. TNA wouldn’t exist without them and he can’t thank them enough. He was supposed to accept this honor back in October but he wasn’t in a good place, either personally or professionally.

Angle says he’s in a better place now and thanks God for giving him the abilities he has. He thanks his wife and kids for their support and hopes he can make them proud. The talent in the back keeps him motivated and help him every day. Angle thanks each and every one of the fans and says it’s a great night to be Kurt Angle. That seems to be it but here’s EC3 to interrupt.

Ethan says he was touched by the ceremony and the video, but he has a tribute video of his own. We see a video of him attacking Kurt’s knee last week, complete with thought bubbles that aren’t particularly funny (“I am the new face of American wrestling”, because being the face of everything is a thing in wrestling now).

Ethan says he has big news and Angle invites him into the ring to share it with the world. He opens a piece of paper, with writing on the back saying he beat Angle and Sting. Apparently Angle has a torn ACL and MCL, meaning he requires surgery due to the attack at Ethan’s hands. His career might be over, so Ethan thinks Angle should retire. Angle gets in his face and asks why Ethan would do this when he knows Angle will tear his throat out.

Ethan says he knows Kurt is injured but Angle says you should go straight to the source. Carter: “Why? The internet is always right. Well at least 50% of the time.” Angle says the actual source is right 100% of the time. He has no torn ACL or MCL and knocks Ethan out of the ring. Angle says cut the music because he has an announcement. MVP has given him a match at Lockdown with any wrestler he wants, so guess who he’s picked.

Lei’D Tapa/Alpha Female vs. Madison Rayne/Velvet Sky

Alpha Female really doesn’t work as a name. It’s a brawl to start as Tazz talks about Alpha Female and Bad Bones, completely failing to be funny as usual. Tapa throws Madison around but it’s quickly off to Velvet vs. Female. Sabin tries to come in and go after Velvet but Alpha Female quickly saves him. Tapa misses a middle rope splash but Sabin offers a distraction, allowing Gail to cheap shot Madison. Tapa hits her over the shoulder Stunner for the pin on Rayne at 2:31.

The monsters beat down Madison and Velvet until ODB makes the save.

Tigre Uno is coming at Lockdown. It’s Extreme Tiger from AAA.

Samuel Shaw says people don’t understand. He was helping Christy Hemme last week and the people don’t understand that. He’ll make them understand right now.

Shaw comes to the arena and quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson, saying that to be great is to be misunderstood. Christy has misunderstood him so he asks her to get in the ring. He says there are certain men that aren’t respecting her and those men have been looking at her wrong. Shaw is here to protect her and wants everything from her. This brings out Anderson and Shaw says he’s one of those guys. Christy is lucky Shaw was there last week but Anderson tells him to shut up.

Whatever relationship Shaw thinks he has with Christy isn’t real but here’s what is real. Anderson rolls up his sleeves but Shaw says he’s been nothing but a gentleman. Even if he were to try something with her though, she would be receptive because women like her are always available. Christy slaps him in the face and Shaw hides behind her as Anderson comes in. Shaw shoves Christy onto Anderson and slaps the choke on Mr., pulling him down to the mat.

Willow is still creepy and still coming.

Storm and Gunner fight in the back until agents break it up. Gunner shouts that this ends at Lockdown.

Eric Young hopes Joseph Park comes back instead of Abyss.

Bobby Roode vs. MVP

Austin Aries is guest referee and wearing shorts ala Shawn Michaels on the first weekly Smackdown. Feeling out process to start with MVP taking it to the mat with a headlock. Roode fights up and they get in a jawing session until MVP runs him over with a shoulder block. A clothesline drops Roode again but it’s only good for a one count. Roode blocks a tornado DDT attempt by slamming MVP down onto the mat. A knee drop sets up a chinlock from Roode, followed by a hard clothesline for two.

MVP avoids a charge in the corner and hammers on Roode before taking him down with a nice high collar suplex. The Ballin Elbow sets up a fisherman’s suplex for two and we get a far too close shot of Aries. The Playmaker is countered and Roode charges into a boot in the corner. MVP charges into a spinebuster for two but fights out of the Roode Bomb.

The Playmaker connects for a VERY close two and MVP takes a second to question Aries. Roode comes back to trade forearms but MVP gets the better of it, only to get caught by an enziguri. MVP kicks out the knee and loads up the Drive By but Aries lays him out with a discus elbow, setting up the Roode Bomb for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: C. Basic match here as we were just waiting for the Aries decision to end the match. MVP is fine in this roll and there’s nothing wrong with him wrestling a match here and there. The match was nothing special and Aries being added to the team helps, but the Bro Mans are going to sink any hope Team Dixie has save for a screwjob.

Overall Rating: C+. Perfectly fine show here with a development to end the show and some decent matches in between. They’re filling in the card for Lockdown, even though there’s only ten days before the show. Either way, things are picking up a bit and it’s amazing how much easier this show is to sit through without Dixie hogging all the screen time.

Results

Bro Mans b. Bad Influence and The Wolves – Robbie pinned Kazarian after a double stomp from Richards

Ethan Carter III b. Doug Williams – One Percenter

Samoa Joe b. Bad Bones – Koquina Clutch

Lei’D Tapa/Alpha Female b. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne – Over the shoulder Stunner to Rayne

Bobby Roode b. MVP – Roode Bomb

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