Since my other option today is Larry Sweeny, I’ll get with the times and go with Cesaro.

Cesaro got his start in 2003 as Claudio Castagnoli but since he’s got a lot of stuff to get to, we’ll be jumping to ROH in 2009. Claudio was an entrant in the 2009 Survival of the Fittest tournament, where six wrestlers win qualifying matches before advancing to the finals later that night.

Survival of the Fittest Qualifying Match: Petey Williams vs. Claudio Castagnoli

Claudio is freaking RIPPED. He’s announced as being VERY EUROPEAN. I love that. Williams is still doing the dumb Maple Leaf Muscle thing that got him nowhere in TNA but whatever. Claudio was trained by Honky Tonk Man. Oh dear help him. The visual here is really funny as Claudio is 6’5 and Williams is 5’7, so it’s really weird looking.

I love all the little jokes we’re getting here to old wrestlers and move names that you don’t get elsewhere. They’re doing a lot of mat stuff here but it’s actually good so I can’t complain at all. Claudio is the heel here but he’s ridiculously popular so it means nothing at all. Petey gets to use some of his highflying stuff that wasn’t allowed in TNA because he had to work slow to not show Steiner up.

He hits a jumping over the top rope thing into a Codebreaker. Nice but it’s just two. Claudio does a move called the UFO, which is a rack but he spins in a circle really fast, at one point letting his arms go and then just throws Petey to the mat. Again though it’s just two, which makes it seem far less impressive.

A Canadian uses a Russian Legsweep onto a Swiss man into an Oklahoma Roll. I love wrestling. Claudio grabs the referee to avoid a Canadian Destroyer and hits a low blow and a European uppercut to end it.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great either. Petey got to show off a whole lot and that’s something you don’t get to see from him that often. Also here you didn’t have the whole big man vs. little man formula nonsense going on and they got to play off of each other a bit. Again, very nice for a change.

Survival of the Fittest Finals: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Chris Hero vs. Delirious vs. Roderick Strong vs. Colt Cabana vs. Tyler Black

Now for those of you that haven’t heard of Delirious, this guy is freaking INSANE. He babbles incoherently and has been known to wrestle matches in slow motion. What does that tell you? Oh and he’s awesome in the ring by the way. He and Punk had an AWESOME match in I think IWA-MS that got me into both guys. The cool thing about this for me is I legitimately don’t know who is going to win.

Most of the time I know the results but here I’m completely blank on them. Black sells the injury to his neck from earlier on the way in which is nice. I hope there are tags in this. Claudio and Hero used to be in a team that dominated indy tag wrestling for awhile called the Kings of Wrestling and Delirious and Black were in the Age of the Fall together. Ah good it is tagging.

Delirious, Strong and Hero have all won. Black and Delirious start, and my money is on Black to win it. They start with a lot of technical stuff before Cabana comes in for Black. Let the comedy begins. Black is criticized for never being able to win the big one, which is a common criticism that there was for ROH. I’m not going to list off all the tags as they’re going rather fast.

We get Castagnoli vs. Hero, which is a battle of the skyscrapers in ROH as both guys are 6’5, which is enormous in this company. A thing I like about indy wrestling is you can use other stuff than signature moves in a match. For example, they trade full nelsons. That move makes sense, but in WWE no one but Masters can use it. See what I mean?

Now I don’t mean everyone uses the FU or the Pedigree, but a transitional move like the spinebuster shouldn’t be only reserved for HHH and two other guys. In a WEIRD looking spot, both guys interlock their legs and then wind up standing on their heads. They shake hands while in this position. That’s rather…uh…yeah. It’s Black and Claudio now as we’re definitely in for the long haul here.

Everyone is still in at this point. Prazak is in love with Hero I think. He refuses to shut up about how awesome he is. In a PAINFUL looking spot Claudio spins Black around by the hair. That has to hurt something fierce. In a great sequence that gets the crowd going, Delirious drills Claudio with about 10 clotheslines in the corner before Hero saves him. Cabana comes in and we get a mini tag match.

The Kings of Wrestling are thrown to the floor and get stereo suicide dives, but then Strong and Black get in and launch themselves over the top rope at both guys. Very awesome and fast paced spot. It’s Delirious vs. Claudio now and the crazy masked man is in trouble. In a movie I haven’t seen before, Claudio uses a hip toss from the second rope. That’s different if nothing else.

I like Hero’s facial expressions. Delirious goes for a backslide on Claudio but Hero knocks the European’s head off with the elbow, allowing Delirious to get the backslide and the pin. Immediately as in less than 5 seconds later, he rolls up Cabana and we’re down to four. I’ll give this match this much: it’s not boring.

After an elbow from Hero he covers Delirious and the referee does that same thing he did earlier on with the count stopping at two even though the kickout hasn’t happened yet. We hit a mess and Strong hits a big kick into the chest of Delirious to put him out. Immediately after he kicks out of the elbow from Hero and a Liger Bomb.

We have Strong, Hero and Black left in case you weren’t sure. If I remember right Strong is known as the Messiah of the Backbreaker, as he uses a ton of them. That’s unique if nothing else. Hero and Black just pound the tar out of each other with forearms. And there goes Hero to a move called God’s Last Gift. Think of a Perfectplex but instead it’s a really compact DDT where he just hooks the legs into a small package for the pin. I like that.

So it’s Strong vs. Black for the title. Works for me. Black gets a NICE flying elbow from the top for two. They’re cranking up the speed here and I’m digging this. Strong hits a bunch of backbreakers and then we hit the Strong Hold: a Boston Crab. That’s psychology, even though Black has a bad neck. It’s passable though as his finisher is a back submission.

Strong gets knocked into the crowd and Black goes up with a flying clothesline into about the third row. I love the shot of the fans just moving backwards for them. I like that for some reason. I love Black’s springboards. He doesn’t use a bunch flips or anything but just launches himself at Strong. We’re back in the Strong Hold and the fans chant tap. Somehow he kicks out and then Black hits his two finishers for two.

This is great stuff here. Strong gets the loudest kick to the back of Black’s head that I’ve ever heard. Fans are WAY into this. Strong just goes insane on Black with knee shots and an AWESOME kick to the head for TWO. The kicking out is getting to be a bit much here. I get the survival thing, but this is getting to be a bit much. Ok yeah three straight superkicks gets two.

The fourth gets it but Strong kicked out anyway, so the fans boo the finish. That’s never good. Black wins and then gets on the mic and says thank you to Strong in a cool moment. He then says that Cornette was wrong. These guys aren’t the future, but the future is now, and Strong deserves a rematch to end the show.

Rating: A-. This was about 45 minutes long and awesome throughout. The fans were way into it and by the end I was buying into it also. The key thing for me was that all 6 guys looked like potential winners and while based on the way Black had been built up throughout the night it was kind of clear he would win, it was never a lock, which makes the match instantly better. Very fun stuff here and while I usually don’t like multi-man matches, this was an exception, which is saying a lot for me.

Around this time, Claudio was also teaming up with Chris Hero and dominating the indy scene. They held the CZW, Chikara and ROH Tag Titles at the same time. After splitting up in 2007, the pair reunited in late 2009 and became ROH Tag Team Champions again. Here’s a defense from Death Before Dishonor VII.

Tag Titles: Briscoe Brothers vs. Kings of Wrestling

This should be awesome. It’s kind of weird watching the Kings as they’re both about 6’5 which means they tower over the vast majority of the roster. Hero and Claudio cut promos saying they appreciate the Briscoes not being allowed to be here, so of course they hit the ring and it’s on. No DQ here which is a surprise I think. Big dive by one of the Brothers takes out the Kings. I’ve never been able to remember which is which so bear with me.

Why do they have to tag in and out? If you can’t get disqualified then what’s stopping them? Hero starts and it’s been one sided the whole way so far. Claudio is finally up in his corner after getting his teeth kicked in. The challengers get after Shane Hagadorn and I think you know this isn’t going to work. Claudio is busted open already. Someone that’s either a young boy or an adult woman shouts that Hero is a pussy. I hope it was a girl.

Everything breaks down early and Mark Briscoe is busted open pretty well. Ok now I can tell one from the other. Oh man Mark is busted BAD. The heels have taken over here and we get a gay chant against Hero. Nice double cross body and there’s the hot tag to Jay. He drives Hero’s head into the buckle about 25 times and now he’s busted open. O’Connor Roll gets two but Hagadorn pelts Jay with a chair to put him on the floor. Hagadorn is the Kings’ manager if I forgot to mention that earlier.

Jay is busted open too now. Hero ties Jay to the post with the tag rope Total bloodbath here but they said that at the previous show they had a long technical match so this is far more acceptable. Doomsday Device but with a European Uppercut gets two on Mark. The referee gets a knife from somewhere and cuts Jay free. A Roaring Elbow (Hero’s finisher) gets two.

Jay gets a freaking fire extinguisher of all things and the Kings are in trouble. Table is brought in as Claudio’s cut is more or less closed. The heels are thrown into the table but it doesn’t break. Double team neckbreaker/powerbomb gets no cover. Claudio counters a slam through the table but the Briscoes tackle him into it where his shoulder goes through the edge of it in a painful looking spot.

Doomsday Device to Shane and the Briscoes are standing tall. Hero pops up with his loaded elbow pad and drills Jay with it for TWO and a big pop. We get more gay slurs at Hero with people saying SCREW YOU Hero. If he’s gay as you say you are, wouldn’t he enjoy that in theory? In an AWESOME looking finish, Castagnoli gets a giant swing and the pad is put on Hero’s foot which he kicks Jay in the head with for the pin.

Rating: B. This was supposed to be a big fight and that’s exactly what it was. All kinds of blood (Mark’s face was COVERED), very good violence, the SICK ending and the whole thing going nearly 20 minutes worked very well. They had a technical match already so this is the next logical step. I’m fine with violence like this when it fits the story, which it did here due to the Kings attacking their dad. Very fun match that was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Claudio was also appearing in Chikara in a stable called BDK, which was something resembling a Norse mythology stable and involved mind control, robots, and squashing insects (and this was before Chikara went insane). Claudio and a wrestler named Ares were the Chikara Tag Team Champions and defended them at Eye to Eye.

Campeonatos de Parejas: Claudio Castagnoli/Ares vs. 3.0

3.0 is comprised of Scott “Jagged” Parker/Shane Matthews. Wow I’m sick of that song that BDK (Claudio/Ares, the champions) comes out to. This is 2/3 falls as are all title shots. The challengers come out second but Delirious runs out and beats them up pre-match. Ok Shane is in the red. Ares gets a Tiger Bomb and the first fall is over 4 seconds after the bell rings.

Claudio beats up Shane on the floor but then chokes Parker with the streamers than earlier. He is freaking ripped. Delirious is on the floor with them. Apparently Ares is the leader of the stable. There’s a guy in a Nexus shirt in one of the closest seats to the entrance who is kind of distracting. Modified powerslam by Ares gets two. This is totally one sided so far.

Bearhug by Claudio to Parker who fights out. And never mind as he’s in the hold again already. Another powerslam gets two and it’s off to Ares again. There’s some heel miscommunication though and Parker rolls up Claudio for the second fall and we’re all tied up! The fans are stunned as that’s the first time the BDK has ever given up a single fall as champions.

Double chokeslam kills Parker for two. The locker room empties to watch this now. The BDK picks up Parker and rams him into the mat multiple times in a cool looking move. Swanton by Ares gets two. Riccola Bomb is reversed by a rana and it’s finally the hot tag to Matthews. Spinebuster to Ares and Claudio gets sent to the floor.

Matthews goes up and hits an elbow drop for two on Ares. So these guys are supposed to be awesome and one tiny man is beating them both up at the same time. Got it. Eh that’s normal in wrestling though, so according to most wrestling fans that means it’s ok. Back to Claudio and Parker. Parker gets a Codebreaker and takes out Claudio on the floor. Matthews gets a powerbomb for two on Ares.

Spinning belly to back by Ares to counter a bulldog. European Uppercut gets two as does the Riccola (arm trap powerbomb) Bomb. The fans chant for 3.0 as apparently a B average works. Small package to Claudio gets two. Instead Claudio realizes he’s huge and puts on an Inverted Chikara Special (half crab with an arm trap that looks awesome). Parker kicks him in the head but since this is an indy company it’s no sold and there’s the tap out to end it.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here and I kind of like the whole quick first fall and then the rest of the match. They got me into the match in the end which is the whole point here. The locker room emptying out was cool as it shows that EVERYONE wants BDK to lose. This was a fun match and solid for the main event.

We’ll look at one of Claudio’s last ROH matches as he and Hero teamed up to defend their Tag Titles against Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team one more time. Ignore that they had already signed with WWE.

Tag Titles: Kings of Wrestling vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

Each time someone comes to the ring they get streamers thrown at them. It’s annoying but I guess it’s something to get used to. The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. The champs (Haas/Benjamin) took the belts from them after the Kings held them forever. This is the first match in 24 minutes, meaning 40% of this show had zero wrestling on it due to highlight packages. That would be like 48 minutes without wrestling on Raw. Oh wait WE HAVE A COMMERCIAL BEFORE THE BELL.

There’s the bell and it’s been 27 minutes since the last match ended, or 54 minutes in Raw time. Haas vs. Hero to start us off. How did a guy like Haas get Jackie Gayda? Off to Nigel quickly so maybe he started and I wasn’t paying enough attention. Haas counters a few hip tosses and takes Claudio down with arm drags. This is match #4 in their series and the champs are 2-1 so far.

Blind tag brings in Benjamin and he hits a top rope clothesline to take over. Off to hero who gets caught in a small package for two. Hero sells a lot and things start to break down. Benjamin can’t hit the dragon whip and the Kings take over with nefarious means. Benjamin is thrown outside and Hero hits a baseball slide to take him out again. We take a break and come back with Claudio holding a headlock and hitting a powerslam for two.

Benjamin tries the tag and hits Dragon Whip this time but Hero pulls Haas off the apron. Charlie comes in and lets Hero hit an elbow to the back of the head for two. Off to Hero (Claudio got the two) and Hero hits a senton backsplash for two. Benjamin counters a double suplex into a double neckbreaker and there’s a leaping hot tag. Roaring Elbow by Hero is countered into a German and Claudio takes a T-Bone for two.

A rana and a big boot gets the same. Haas gets taken down and another elbow called the KTFO (you figure it out) gets two for Hero. Was there a tag there? The third spinning forearm/elbow (WE GET IT ALREADY) sets up a giant swing by Claudio as we go back to the 70s. The Kings set for their finisher (KRS 1) but it’s broken up by Benjamin. A hot shot sets up the thing where Shelton jumps over Charlie to land on the other dude’s back and a Hart Attack ends this at 16:48.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but dude, this was the best they could do? This is supposed to be the big and epic tag team division that is the best in the world? It’s not bad but it’s certainly not a classic or anything at all. I’ve definitely seen better stuff on Raw or Smackdown this year. I saw a match live that was better than this and I can’t even remember who were partnering with Orton and Christian.

Claudio would move to the WWE and FCW and change his name to Antonio Cesaro. He would debut on FCW TV on October 23, 2011.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Mike Dalton

Dalton is currently known as Tyler Breeze. Cesaro comes out to what was Dean Malenko’s theme music in 2002. Dalton is easily shoved into the corner and Cesaro locks him in a cravate before taking him to the mat. Dalton comes back with a quickly broken hammerlock but runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. We hit the chinlock from Cesaro for several moments before Mike comes up for his jobber comeback. Cesaro throws him into the air for Swiss Death and a WICKED powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Total squash here with Cesaro looking awesome. The powerbomb (Riccola Bomb for you indy people) was a great finisher against smaller guys but the switch to the Neutralizer worked better when not everyone was a tiny guy by comparison. Swiss Death looked great as well and this was total domination.

Cesaro would debut on WWE TV in April of 2002 and challenge Santino Marella for the US Title on the preshow of Summerslam 2012.

Pre-Show: US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

Soon after this Cesaro would be featured at the 2012 Tribute to the Troops in a match that would make Hulk Hogan proud.

John Cena vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro doesn’t even get an entrance. That should tell you where we’re going here. The Muppets introduce Cena, which is completely awesome. Cena pounds him down to start but Cesaro throws him into the corner to take over. They head to the floor with Cena being rammed into the steps. Back in and the gutwrench suplex gets two and here’s the comeback. Cena shrugs off everything Cesaro did, hits the Five Moves of Doom and wins with the AA at 5:23.

Rating: C. If you don’t get why this match happened the way it does, go watch a test pattern. That’s more on your intelligence level.

Cesaro would head back to NXT from time to time and enter into a feud with Sami Zayn in August of 2013. This led to a 2/3 falls match that speaks for itself.

Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro

They have a lot of time to work with here and it’s 2/3 falls. Zayn debuted a few months ago and beat Cesaro in Sami’s second match of the night. Cesaro won the rematch so tonight’s the rubber match. Zayn dives over the top to take out Cesaro during his entrance before the bell. Back inside and Sami hits a spinwheel kick for the first fall six seconds after the bell. Cesaro is clotheslined to the floor and sent into the steps as we’re not even a minute into the match.

They slug it out on the floor before Zayn gets two off another spinwheel kick. Zayn pounds away in the corner but can’t get a sunset flip. Cesaro can’t hit a double stomp so Sami goes to the middle rope and jumps from there to the top for a high cross body for two. Cesaro throws him into the air to drop Sami face first on the buckle for two before pounding away at Sami’s head. We hit the standing chinlock for a bit before Cesaro blocks a kick to the ribs and pulls Sami up into a powerbomb for two.

Back to the chinlock but Zayn jawbreaks his way out. A hard clothesline and the running stomp to the chest gets two for Cesaro. Back up and Zayn fires off forearms to the chest but gets caught in a backdrop, allowing Cesaro to rain down right hands. Another double stomp sets up the gutwrench suplex but Sami counters into a sunset flip for two. A running hurricanrana gets the same but Cesaro comes back with a bridging capture suplex for two.

Back from a break with with Cesaro putting on the standing chinlock for the third time. Zayn gets two off a rollup and hits a quick dropkick to put Antonio down. He charges right back into the chinlock though and Cesaro spins him around before taking it to the mat. Zayn actually taps out at about 9:00 shown, making it one fall apiece.

Sami rolls to the apron but Antonio pulls him back in with a superplex from the apron. That’s SCARY strength but it’s only good for two. Zayn grabs a quick rollup for two but gets caught in the chinlock again. That’s rolled up for two followed by Cesaro charging into a boot in the corner. The fans think this is awesome and I can’t say I disagree. Sami gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip after crawling up Cesaro’s body.

Cesaro bails to the floor so Sami heads outside as well before getting a running charge and diving between the ropes into a tornado DDT on the floor. Cesaro dives back in at nine and Sami gets two. Zayn tries to climb the corner for another tornado DDT but Cesaro catches him in midair, lifts him into a gorilla press and drops him down into Swiss Death. Antonio immediately picks up Sami and puts him down with the Neutralizer for the pin and the third fall at 15:38 shown of 18:38.

Rating: A-. Yeah it’s great. The third fall picked WAY up after a solid second fall. I’m not sure I get the idea of having Zayn win the first fall in a few seconds but it was definitely a face way to start the match. Either way, both guys looked great here and the match worked incredibly well with Cesaro looking like a beast at the end. Why he’s in a jobber tag team and not being pushed as a top heel in WWE is beyond me. Check this match out if you have the chance.

We’ll look at one more match from NXT in December of 2013 with Cesaro facing William Regal in a match over respect that had been built up for months.

Antonio Cesaro vs. William Regal

The Fink is doing entrances, which gives me an answer to the question I just asked. The disgusted yet also terrified look on Regal’s face is perfect. Cesaro cranks on the arm to start and Regal can’t counter. Antonio takes him to the mat but Regal nips up to draw a gasp from the crowd. Cesaro stays on the hold and takes Regal down again but there’s another nip up. “You still got it!”

Regal takes Cesaro down to his knees but still can’t get away from the wrist control as we take a break. Back with Cesaro still on the arm and jumping onto a standing Regal’s shoulders (basically putting himself in a fireman’s carry) to apply even more pressure. Regal flips him down into an armbar but Cesaro nips up just like Regal did earlier. William takes him down by the other arm but Cesaro powers up into a test of strength.

Cesaro easily powers Regal down but the Englishman counters into a cross arm choke. He leans backwards to put Cesaro over his knees while still choking, only to be flipped forward to escape. Back to the test of strength before Regal counters a front facelock into a dragon sleeper. Cesaro flips him forward in a kind of reverse suplex for two but Regal gets him down into the corner and does his “distract the referee while kicking the opponent in the face” spot.

Antonio chop blocks Regal down and rams the bad knee into the apron a few times as we take another break. Back with Cesaro holding a leg lock but Regal keeps fighting back with kicks to the head. Cesaro keeps control by cranking on the knee even more and taking off Regal’s knee brace. The knee is bent around Cesaro’s neck in an old Brock Lock but Regal counters into a rollup and backslide for two each. Cesaro hits a series of ten uppercuts to knock Regal silly, setting up the Cesaro Swing.

After some trash talk Antonio loads up the Neutralizer but Regal backdrops his way out. He drops a knee on Cesaro’s arm to take away the Neutralizer. Regal goes after the arm with everything he’s got and hits an overhead suplex for two. The knee is too damaged for the knee trembler though and Cesaro comes back with a headbutt. Regal is fine with that and headbutts Cesaro right back before loading up a double underhook suplex. Cesaro backdrops Regal but can’t break the grip.

Regal takes him to the mat again and tries the Regal Stretch but Cesaro makes the rope. A forearm from the good arm lays Regal out and a double stomp to the back of the head has the referee checking him. Cesaro looks down at Regal before picking up his limp body. He sets up the Neutralizer but thinks twice about it and lets Regal fall back to the mat. Regal tries to pull himself up so Cesaro puts on the Neutralizer. He looks down at Regal’s unconscious body and looks disgusted after pinning Regal at 16:00 shown of 24:00.

Rating: A. I loved this for a lot of reasons. First of all, the technical stuff at the beginning was excellent with two old school craftsmen doing their jobs as well as anyone can. It’s wrestling in its purest form and when you have guys who can work that style it’s as entertaining as you can get. Then there’s the excellent storytelling with Regal trying every trick he knew but not being able to stop Cesaro’s raw power. The ending with Cesaro not wanting to hurt Regal anymore but giving in to his natural instincts of winning at any cost was great stuff. I loved this match and continue to wait for Cesaro to be taken seriously in WWE.

Regal is taken out by referees but Cesaro goes after him and extends a hand. Regal stares him down and shakes hands as we go off the air.

We’ll close it out with Cesaro’s biggest win to date which is more recent than I like to get but you can’t pass up something like this for him.

Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

In the sitdown interview of the week, HHH said he thinks Cesaro might be the wildcard in the Chamber. Cesaro chases Orton to the floor to start but doesn’t go after him. They do the same thing again before Cesaro takes him to the mat and hits the gutwrench for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two more and they both head outside. Orton reverses a whip into the barricade and clotheslines Cesar as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Cesaro into the announce table and taking him inside for a chinlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE and Cesaro fights out, only to lose a fist fight and get elbowed to the mat. Cesaro rolls outside and catches Orton with a big clothesline of his own and counters the Elevated DDT into the Swing. Randy can barely get to his feet but is able to backdrop out of the Neutralizer. Cesaro lands on his feet but runs into the powerslam for two.

Now the Elevated DDT connects and Orton points to the sign to make this serious. He spends too much time walking around though and it’s Swiss Death for two. They head to the corner where Orton tries a superplex but Cesaro counters into a sunset bomb. A discus uppercut sets up the Neutralizer for the completely clean pin at 12:44.

Rating: B-. Well you can’t give much more of a rub than that. However I’d be much happier with this if Kofi Kingston hadn’t gotten the same kind of a win just a month ago. Cesaro is a guy that could be world championship material with a good push (meaning getting away from Swagger) but I have a feeling this is just for the Chamber and then it’s back to nothing for not-Antonio.

Cesaro is one of the most perfect combinations of look, power, skill and ability that you’ll ever find. He’s one of the strongest men in wrestling and has wrestled everywhere in the world with success. I’m hoping that his current push results in an extended main event run for him as he could be one of the biggest international stars WWE has had in years.

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Smackdown
Date: February 21, 2014
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and everything is set for Sunday. Monday ended with a huge brawl between the twelve people in the two biggest matches on Sunday which is a good way to end a show. The main event for tonight is Sheamus vs. Christian after Christian turned heel on Monday. Let’s get to it.

No In Memory graphic for Nelson Frazier Jr. Even TNA had one of those. Maybe on Sunday.

Opening sequence.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

Bryan is nursing a bad shoulder after Christian and Kane attacked him on Raw. Jack goes after the shoulder to start but Bryan takes him to the mat and grabs a headlock. Two running dropkicks in the corner send Swagger to the floor but he catches Bryan charging off the apron and drops him onto the barricade. The bad shoulder goes into the barricade and post as Jack is being much more aggressive tonight.

Swagger stays on the arm by wrapping it around the ropes and driving in knees before slamming him down on the shoulder. Another slam gets two and Jack takes him to the top for what looks to be a northern lights superplex onto the arm. It’s nice to see someone mixing up their offense on a limb like that. Bryan slips down before Swagger can through him though and the running knee connects out of nowhere for the pin at 4:48. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted, but this is the kind of booking that makes me shake my head. We’re supposed to buy Swagger, known as losing more often than he wins, as a challenger for a title on Sunday so why would you have him lose clean in less than five minutes? Obviously you can’t put him over Bryan, so WHY PUT THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Have Jack beat up Sin Cara or Ziggler or Miz or have Cesaro come in for the DQ before Bryan can cover. Just don’t have Swagger get pinned this soon before a title shot.

Post match Vickie Guerrero comes out and makes Bryan vs. Cesaro because she’s a heel now after acting like a face with Colter last week.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro

Cesaro goes right after the arm to start by taking Bryan into the corner and driving knees into the shoulder. Daniel comes back with some kicks but a single shot to the shoulder puts him right back down. Cesaro takes him into the middle of the ring and cranks on the arm even more before slamming it down onto the mat. Again, it’s much better to mix up the offense than to use the same move over and over again. Keep it fresh.

Bryan fights up and goes to the middle rope but dives into a shoulder breaker for two. We hit the armbar as Cole thinks Bryan should just give up now and save himself for Sunday. Daniel is able to knock Cesaro to the floor and hit the FLYING GOAT but a Colter distraction lets Cesaro kick the bad shoulder. Jack gets caught with a chair and gets ejected for his efforts. Colter gets the same and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro pummeling Bryan in the corner with Kane at ringside. Cesaro loads up a superplex, making sure to bend Bryan’s arm as slowly as possible, but Daniel headbutts him down and scores with a missile dropkick. The YES Kicks give Daniel a breather but the big one is countered into the Swing. Back in and Cesaro throws Bryan into the air for Swiss Death which might have hit the shoulder. Another running uppercut in the corner has Bryan reeling but he comes out with a running knee to knock Cesaro silly, only to draw in Kane for the DQ at 10:20 shown of 13:20.

Rating: C+. This ending works much better as Bryan was in trouble but Cesaro still could have kicked out due to Bryan not being able to cover immediately. The arm work here was good and they still have an out to keep the title off Bryan on Sunday, or a way to have him overcome the odds and shock the world. I’m still hoping we get Kane vs. Bryan on a big Raw before Wrestlemania and HHH vs. Bryan at the PPV if he doesn’t get in the title match.

Kane announces the result like he did on Monday. Cesaro hits the Neutralizer on Bryan to blow off some steam.

Christian talks about being more aggressive because he knows his window to be champion again is closing. The last few weeks haven’t been going the way he’d hoped and he had to figure it out before the Chamber. These people at home stuffing their faces aren’t going to help him so he had to do it himself.

Bella Twins video on how to use the Network.

We look at The Shield and Wyatts nearly colliding on Monday before brawling to end the show. I’d take Bray vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania right now.

The Wyatts come out for their match. Bray says there isn’t much left to say now. The Shield are just three dominoes in a line and then the rest shall fall. They want people to believe in them but how can that happen when they’re crawling on their hands and knees, looking up at the eater of worlds? Follow the buzzards.

Wyatt Family vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio

Harper and Rey get things going with the big man tossing Rey around, only to have Rhodes come in off a blind tag. A running clothesline gets two on Luke and it’s off to Rowan vs. Goldust with the painted one taking over. Goldust ducks a right hand in the corner and fires off some punches of his own, only to get caught in a fallaway slam. Bray himself comes in for a hard clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Harper Gator Rolling Goldust before putting on a headlock. Goldust fights up and hits a quick sunset bomb but Luke rolls through before a count. The hot tag brings in Cody with a springboard missile dropkick and the moonsault press for two. The fans aren’t getting all that fires up by this match. Rey comes in off another blind tag as Harper is sent to the floor. Back in and Harper counters the 619 with a big boot to give Bray a two count.

Rowan comes back in for a bearhug and a big side slam for two. Luke gets another tag and hammers on Rey for a few seconds before it’s back to Bray for the running splash in the corner. Rey counters a second one with a drop toehold and it’s off to Goldust to speed things up a bit.

A spinebuster puts Rowan down and the spinning cross body does the same. Rey comes in with a 619 to set up a Goldust powerslam for two. Harper catches Rey diving over the ropes and slams him into the barricade as Bray makes a blind tag. Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams to Erick but Wyatt runs him over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 12:52.

Rating: B-. This was the usual six man tag between the Wyatts and any group of three midcard guys, meaning it was entertaining but nothing we haven’t seen before. The Family is getting better in the ring and there’s something awesome about Bray just throwing his body into people like a battering ram.

We recap Sheamus accidentally kicking Christian last week.

Sheamus says he’s partially responsible for Christian’s new side. Christian is aggressive now and that’s what Sheamus wants. Tonight’s Brogue Kick won’t be an accident. Another simple but to the point promo from Sheamus which is better than his Irish folk tale nonsense.

Time for a dance off between Summer Rae and Emma. Quick summary of the next five minutes: Emma wins, the fans still don’t care, Summer calls Fandango her baby boopsie, Santino and Fandango brawl and no one cares.

Ron Simmons Black History Month video.

Alexander Rusev will achieve greatness.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Titus O’Neil

Darren Young is on commentary. Dolph scores with an early dropkick but gets thrown down to the mat with ease. Titus cranks on the arm but gets caught by a cross body and right hands. Some more punches in the corner have Titus in trouble but he comes back with a big boot. Darren gets on the announcers’ table and blows the whistle for a distraction so Dolph can get a rollup pin at 2:40.

Road Dogg vs. Jimmy Uso

Dog gets taken into the corner to start but comes back with some kicks to the rib and one to the side of the head. We hit a quick chinlock on Jimmy but he comes back with a Samoan drop. A right hand misses and Dogg fires off his shaky punches but Jimmy escapes the pumphandle and superkicks Roadie for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to set up the Tag Title shot on Sunday. There’s still no reason to keep the titles on the Outlaws, which is why I’d almost bet they hold onto them until at least Extreme Rules, probably getting a win at Wrestlemania in a multi team tag match. Nothing to see here though the Usos can wrestle singles matches decently enough.

Video on the Chamber.

Sheamus vs. Christian

Sheamus shoves him around to start and an elbow sends Christian out to the apron. Back in and Christian punches Sheamus in the face which brings a smile to the Irishman’s face. Christian low bridges a charging Sheamus to the floor but misses a baseball slide and walks into the rolling fireman’s carry on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock but getting sent into 619 position. Christian tries his jump over the top rope into a right hand but Sheamus blocks the punch and shoves him into the barricade. Sheamus charges at him but gets backdropped to the timekeeper’s area to change control. A middle rope missile dropkick gets two for Christian and he goes after the surgically repaired shoulder.

The arm is wrapped around the ropes and Sheamus bites the ropes to get through the pain. More cranking on the arm ensues but Christian escapes the Killswitch. Some right hands have Sheamus in trouble but he’s still able to slam Christian off the top. The running ax handles and a powerslam get two on Christian but he comes back with a tornado DDT on the arm for two.

Christian tries to snap Sheamus’ neck against the ropes but gets countered into the ten forearms, only to send Sheamus shoulder first into the post for two. Sheamus comes back with a pair of Irish Curses but Christian bails to the floor to avoid the Brogue. Back in and Christian slams Sheamus off the top to take over. The middle rope back elbow looks to set up the Killswitch but Sheamus counters into White Noise for the pin at 12:48 shown of 15:48.

Rating: B-. This was Sheamus 101: a nice match where he beats an upper midcarder to set up a match against main eventers that he has no chance of winning. He’s the main event jobber and there’s nothing wrong with that role. The fans are into his act too, even if there’s nothing deep to him. Nice main event but it showed the problem with Christian as a heel. He barely ever won a big match as a face and his finisher isn’t optimal given how long it takes to set up

Sheamus poses but Christian shoves him off the top and to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Good way to go into the Chamber here as Sheamus gets some spotlight of his own instead of sharing it like he’s done since he returned. The Chamber card looks pretty good but I’m worried about the end results and how they’re going to shape up Wrestlemania. I could have gone for a Shield promo but it’s still a good way to set up Sunday.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – Running knee

Daniel Bryan b. Cesaro via DQ when Kane interfered

Wyatt Family b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Rey Mysterio – Sister Abigail to Goldust

Dolph Ziggler b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Jimmy Uso b. Road Dogg – Superkick

Sheamus b. Christian – White Noise

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Time to go extreme. Today is Tommy Dreamer.

Dreamer is of course most famous for his time in ECW. He started in the very old days of the company when it was still Eastern Championship Wrestling where he was originally a self described pretty boy who wasn’t respected by the fans. That began to change at a show called The Night The Line Was Crossed.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka is EVIL here and Dreamer is a pure rookie. I’ve seen this before somewhere. Dreamer is from Dreamland USA. Wow indeed. He’s the pretty boy in bright blue tights here and no one cares about him. Snuka is by far the biggest star in the company at this point. Joey promises a classic. That’s never a good sign. Dreamer is 22 here. That’s hard to imagine as he’s always been old.

Lots of stalling to start as we just had to stretch this show out further didn’t we? Dreamer puts on the hat of a kid for no apparent reason. After about three minutes of stalling we lock up and go to a headlock. And now we stall some more. I thought WE WRESTLE IN THE NWA! The fans chant for Piper although I’m not sure why. Would it kill you guys to do something?

Snuka pops him with a pretty weak chair shot on the floor in by far the most interesting move of the match so far. Dreamer kicks out of the Superfly Splash and Joey apparently thinks he can walk on water too. Snuka hits two more of them and Dreamer is more or less dead. He’s bleeding from the mouth and Snuka finally pins him. He beats up some referees and other people afterwards and hits a fourth splash on Dreamer. Gordon comes out and gets beaten up too.

Rating: F+. This was about 80% stalling and then a bunch of splashes. It was like a weird kind of squash and by that I mean it wasn’t any good. The stalling is what hurts this as it’s nearly 8 minutes long and WAY too much of it was just them standing around and yelling at the crowd. Snuka wouldn’t mean anything in the long run anyway as he was only around for a few months after this while Dreamer became one of the biggest stars in the company.

1994 was spent with Dreamer becoming more and more of a fan favorite, including a memorable feud with Sandman. Dreamer knocked a cigarette into Sandman’s eye and blinded him, resulting in Sandman saying he had to retire. This was a huge work against the entire fanbase, many of whom fell for it, thereby ticking them off.

Next up was the biggest feud of Dreamer’s career with a creative backstory. The idea was that Dreamer went to camp as a popular teenage jock with an outcast named Scott who would become a wrestler named Raven. At the same camp there was a girl named Beaulah who liked Dreamer but he rejected her so she slept with Raven. Now she’s back as a Penthouse Pet and wants revenge with Raven. This set off a two year feud with Raven’s Nest fighting Dreamer, including at the main event of November to Remember 1995.

Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven/Cactus Jack

Main event time. Funk is “planning on retiring”. That’s just amusing. Funk says he’ll remember what happened with Cactus last night forever. Apparently it was a big attack on Terry but Dreamer made the save. This is a revenge match for Funk and Dreamer always hates Raven Cactus is in a WCW Dungeon of Doom t-shirt. He was in a WEIRD (yet awesome) heel push where he longed to be back in WCW with “Uncle Eric”.

The pairings pair off and Raven and Jack rule the ring for the moment. Now we get to the brawl and Funk fights Raven. Stevie Richards brings in some weapons and gets put in a shopping cart for his troubles. Dreamer BLASTS Raven in the head with a freaking VCR. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ONE OF THOSE TO A WRESTLING SHOW??? In a funny bit, Dreamer hits him with the remote also.

Funk beats up the referee because he’s Terry Funk. Dreamer DDTs the referee for good measure. Funk hits Raven with a golf club in the putter. Cheese grater is broken up and Cactus drills Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer gets taken down by a double chain shot to the throat. Raven is busted open and poses anyway. Cactus channels his inner Abdullah as he jabs at Funk with a fork.

DDT to Dreamer as Raven and Cactus are dominating. They try the chain again but Dreamer does something smart and dives on it, bringing them together. Not that it matters as Cactus takes him down with ease. Cactus takes the Dungeon of Doom shirt to reveal another one with a huge picture of Eric Bischoff and the words “Forgive Me Uncle Eric” (coining that nickname) on the back. Only Mick Foley could make that work, period.

It’s more or less a big mess but were you really expecting something else here? Jack hits a double arm DDT on Funk onto the chair but there’s no referee. Raven dives over the top to take out Dreamer and Jack looks for more weapons. Here are Fonzie and Taz to be referees but Funk kicks out at two. Taz beats up Funk so Dreamer takes Taz out. Jumping DDT takes Raven down and for some reason a regular one does more damage. The referee is back up and Dreamer piledrives Raven onto a chair, letting Funk steal the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match overall as they kept things just weapons based instead of going everywhere. Also Jack having the continuing mental breakdowns in the middle of the match (the Uncle Eric thing) is great. Dreamer not beating Funk is one of those little things that makes a match better. Fun stuff here and one of the better brawls ECW did.

Cactus beats them down a bit but gets taken down too. DREAMER SUPERKICKS RICHARDS! Ok so it was in the ribs but still! Raven leaves Dreamer laying to end the show.

Dreamer and Raven feuded for most of 1995, all of 1996 and most of 1997. The key to the whole thing was Dreamer NEVER pinned Raven but kept getting closer and closer every time. Dreamer even got Beaulah to join him at one point during the feud. This finally led to a loser leaves town match at Wrestlepalooza 1997.

Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer

The fans immediately chant YOU SOLD OUT at Raven who was leaving for WCW. Before the match, one of Raven’s lackeys named Lupus says don’t bother doing this because it’s your last night. Raven takes the advice and runs through the front door but Dreamer catches up to him and rams Raven into a steel wall. They head into the bleachers and Dreamer throws both of them through the merchandise table in a big crash. Raven comes back with something resembling a piledriver through a table but the table gives way. Dreamer is already busted open.

Raven throws a table onto Dreamer but Tommy backdrops his way out of a piledriver. The fans actually chant that they can’t see anything. Raven avoids a splash through a table and whips Dreamer into the barricade so hard that it’s knocked off the hinges. Tommy comes back with the same kind of whip before crotching Raven on the steel. They head back to ringside and Dreamer hits a bulldog on the concrete before taking him back into the crowd.

A chair to Raven’s head has him busted open as they head to the other end of the building. Some Philadelphia Eagles are watching from the balcony as Raven throws Dreamer back into the aisle. They’re finally inside the ring again after about a nine minute brawl and Raven hits the drop toehold onto the chair. Another chair is brought in and Raven throws Tommy off the top and through the chair in a nice spot.

Tommy kicks out at two and counters a hiptoss into a DDT to take over. The referee is knocked out by a sign as people keep throwing in weapons like an old N64 game. A piledriver onto the Do Not Enter sign is good for two as Lupus makes the save. Beaulah comes in to DDT Lupus but Raven hits a low blow and rolls up Dreamer for two. A Beaulah distraction lets Dreamer do the same thing to Raven.

Raven’s chick Chastity comes in and sprays hairspray in Dreamer’s eyes, allowing Raven to dropkick him down for two. Everything breaks down and Dreamer DDTs Raven on the sign for a VERY close two. Dreamer loads up another DDT but Raven drives him into the referee. The DDT connects but Louie Spicolli comes in for another save. Spicolli’s DDT gets two for Raven and his own DDT gets the same and Raven isn’t sure what to do. Dreamer grabs a Death Valley Driver on Raven before picking him up, shouting ECW and DDTing Raven on the sign, finally good for the pin after trying for over two years.

Rating: C-. This is a match where the rating depends on your knowledge of the backstory. If you know and care about what Dreamer has gone through to get here, this is a huge moment and a great feeling. I never got into the whole story so it’s just another ECW brawl, but there’s no denying the emotion to it and how big of a deal this was for Dreamer.

One of Dreamer’s most well known associations over the years was with Terry Funk. Tommy appeared on Terry Funk’s retirement show called Terry Funk’s Wrestlefest in 1997.

ECW World Title: Shane Douglas vs. Tommy Dreamer

Beulah is the hottest I’ve ever seen her here, period. Francine looks pretty good too. Shane has just gotten the title back at Hardcore Heaven so there’s more or less zero chance of him losing here. Shane’s heel stuff is underrated I think. He’s overrated beyond belief, but he’s decent at times I think. Ok apparently this is now non title. Ok apparently it is. Dreamer threatens to beat up the announcer if he doesn’t say it’s for the title.

Beulah gets on the mic and says that after looking at Shane’s trunks she knows not everything is big in Texas. If I’m Dreamer I’m thinking two things. Why is my wife looking at his trunks, and how in the world did I get a woman that looks like that? Dreamer dominates until Shane kicks the chair he’s holding into his face.

The fans keep shouting about Lex Luger for no apparent reason. Shane works on the knee and Francine helps which causes him even more trouble. I’m liking some of the stuff Shane is using on the knee as he’s varying it up very well. We’re told that there are ten minutes left, meaning the time limit was 15 minutes. Dang we get a figure four from Shane. There are about a millions jokes there.

Both girls come in and Beulah manages to break up the hold and Dreamer gets two on a rollup. Dreamer goes for the DDT but there’s Francine for the save. You know what’s coming. Shane beats up Beulah including the belly to belly. Dreamer hits everything he has on Shane but can’t get the pin. Francine saves him after the DDT and takes the safest piledriver I’ve ever seen. I love that he never even checked on his wife. A quick belly to belly ends this.

Rating: B-. I liked this a lot more than I should have. The interference was annoying beyond all belief to say the least, but we get hot women so I can’t complain much. This was a good match though and it got the job done that it was shooting for so I can’t complain about all that much.

1998 wouldn’t be the most interesting year for Dreamer as he would just fight random people wherever he was needed. ECW would begin expanding around this time and Dreamer would be on the second episode of their TV show in a handicap match against the most dominant tag team ECW ever produced, the Dudley Boys. This was also the Dudleys’ last night in the company and they won the World Tag Team Titles. They goaded Dreamer into a handicap match for the belts, but things would change at the end.

Tag Titles: Tommy Dreamer vs. Dudley Boys

Dreamer takes them down with a double Russian legsweep for two. Tommy finds some salad tongs and grabs D-Von’s balls. Francine throws in a ladder which Tommy tettertotters into the Dudley’s faces. Francine hits Sign Guy in the head with something to take him down. Bubba gets thrown into the ladder and D-Von gets thrown into Bubba, resulting in the falling headbutt ball shot to D-Von.

Bubba gets up and sends Dreamer into the ladder which kills him because of his back. The Dudleys destroy Tommy with belt shots and loads up 3D but Dreamer counters with a DDT. Cue the returning RAVEN who kills Bubba with the Even Flow and pins him to win the titles with Dreamer, his mortal enemy.

Rating: C. This is a really hard one to grade because all that mattered were the last 10 seconds of the match. A lot of it was Dreamer out cold while the Dudleys beat on him so it barely qualifies as a match. Anyway, this was the big return mentioned earlier and Raven got an eruption after finally returning from WCW. At WCW, there had been a meeting where Bischoff told the roster that if anyone wanted out to get up and leave now. Raven was the only one that walked out and he was in ECW in a week.

This was Dreamer’s first title in over five years with the company. In 2000, Taz would win the ECW Title despite not being employed by ECW. Obviously an ECW wrestler needed to be champion, leading to this match from Cyberslam 2000.

ECW World Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Taz

Feeling out process to start with the champion grabbing a headlock before taking him down with a T-Bone Tazplex. Hard crossface shots to the face send Dreamer outside and the brawl is on. Dreamer sends him face first into the post but gets whacked in the head with a chair to put him right back down. They head back inside with Taz kicking Dreamer in the side of the head and taking him down with a nice capture suplex for two.

Tommy hits a quick DDT for two and loads up the Death Valley Driver, only to have Taz slip down into the Tazmission. A low blow gets Dreamer free but he walks into a northern lights suplex for two. They hit the mat for a quick wrestling sequence and Dreamer flips Taz over into a sunset flip for the pin and the title out of absolutely nowhere.

Rating: C-. This is what’s so frustrating about ECW: they can have nice matches like this without all the violence and brawling but that’s all they relied on for most of their important matches. Dreamer was never a great mat warrior or anything but this was perfectly acceptable for the most part.

Taz gives a very emotional speech, putting Dreamer over as the man that is now the standard bearer for ECW. Tommy talks about how he may never make it to Wrestlemania but he’s made it here in ECW as he begins to cry. The locker room comes out to celebrate and even Raven hugs Dreamer. Then some other stuff happened.

The title reign would last about twenty minutes as Justin Credible would jump Dreamer and win the belt in an impromptu title defense, which really does fit Dreamer’s luck over the years. The company was on its last legs by this point and would hold its final PPV in January of 2001 where Tommy Dreamer would face CW Anderson in an I Quit match.

CW Anderson vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is an I Quit match and is your standard veteran vs. young punk with something to prove feud. Dreamer is in a freaking Logan’s Roadhouse shirt. Is he a waiter on the side since he’s not getting paid? I’m not sure if I’m kidding there or not. We’re on the floor immediately as Cyrus is irritating. Back in the ring and Dreamer has a Dragon Sleeper of all things.

Anderson goes to the arm which is likely hurt since it’s Tommy Dreamer. Why should an I Quit match be a wrestling match? Cyrus wants it to be technical which is completely against the idea of the match but whatever. Dreamer goes violent with the ring bell hammer and busts Anderson open. Fairly sick drop toehold into the back of a chair busts Dreamer open.

CW works on the knee which doesn’t really get him anywhere. Dreamer takes some very bad looking unprotected chair shots and busts out a ring of barbed wire. The towel boy from the last show comes in and helps Dreamer beat him up. And there’s a metal sheet to the non-wrestler. Throw in a suplex and I’m sure he’s perfectly fine right?

Spinebuster onto the wire, called razor wire here, and of course Anderson goes for the arm instead of the back which was just slammed into barbed wire. We switch back to the spine as he goes through some chairs. Ok make that the neck as it’s all Anderson here. It’s table time but Anderson goes through it. They take part of it and Dreamer chokes him out for the victory.

Rating: C. Not bad but if this is supposed to be a classic in ECW I fail to see it. Also, nice job of elevating Anderson there by giving the win to the old man that still has never quit. I don’t get this one really and while it was a good beatdown, the psychology was just not there at all as Anderson couldn’t just pick a body part. It’s ok but nothing great at all.

Dreamer would join the WWF in the summer and be a fairly small part of the Alliance. Eventually he would join the hardcore division as most people expected him to do. He won the Hardcore Title in August 2002 and would defend it in a battle royal on August 19, 2002.

Hardcore Title: Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Jeff Hardy, Bradshaw, Bubba Ray Dudley, Crash Holly, Johnny Stamboli, Steven Richards, Terri, Spike Dudley

Eric Bischoff comes out and says that the 24/7 rule is gone and at the moment Tommy Dreamer is champion coming in. There’s going to be a six minute time limit and whoever is champion at the end gets to keep the title. There are weapons under the ring and a tarp covering something big. A shoulder on Dreamer gives Bradshaw the title so everyone jumps the future JBL.

We’re under five minutes left now and Bradshaw finds a cookie sheet to clean house with. Various weapons are brought in and it’s your usual hardcore style brawl. Bradshaw loads up a powerbomb on the floor but Stevie superkicks him so Crash can pin him for the title. There’s a table in the ring now and we’re under 3:30 to go. Jeff uses Bubba as a launching pad to dive over the top and onto Stamboli.

Crash tells Bubba to get the table but gets powerbombed through one by Bubba instead for no cover. Dreamer KO’s Bubba with a kendo stick and pins Crash for the title. The Clothesline from Bradshaw gets two on Dreamer as Bubba saves. Bubba hits Bradshaw low and superplexes Dreamer for two. We’ve got less than a minute left and Bradshaw keeps breaking up pins. Nothing else happens and the clock runs out with Dreamer as champion.

Rating: D. Well that was boring. Nothing interesting happened here and the match just ended with the same stuff going on for the last two minutes. Terri was gone after about a second so she didn’t need to be in there at all. Thankfully the title would be unified with the IC Title a week later and the thing was put out of its misery. The joke had gotten old like a year and a half ago so ending it was the right idea.

We’re going to jump WAY ahead as 2003/2004 saw Tommy do little more than job on Heat. Around early 2005 there was a DVD released called the Rise and Fall of ECW which sold incredibly well. So well in fact that there was a reunion show announced called One Night Stand. Naturally Tommy was in the main event.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Ok, so this is more or less by far and away the most famous and popular part of this show as the match won’t start for about 15 minutes or so. This was the first time the Dudleys had been seen in months on end and they would be gone and in TNA rather soon. Foley sums up a lot very easily: “There are guys like me that absolutely love ECW and everything it stood for but at the end of the day consider themselves WWE guys. Then you have guys like the Dudley Boys that work for WWE but in their hearts are always going to be ECW guys.”

That sums up this whole show better than anything else could I say. Dreamer gets a pop and a half. You can tell Dreamer is WAY impressed and really in awe of this. The music hits and so begins the most famous entrance in modern wrestling history at least. Enter Sandman (original, not that Motorhead nonsense) hits and he’s in the crowd.

The fans sing the song for his entrance in what is an awesome moment. He’s on his second beer and he’s still on the top floor. Hey he’s at the railing! His entrance is at 3 minutes now. Bubba gets beer spit at him. Tommy and Sandman have beers with CW Anderson and Chris Chetti in the front row before pouring one on two girls’ chest, one of which is Elektra, and licking it off.

D-Von dancing to Metallica is funny and the cane gets jacked off. Five and a half minutes now. Hand pounds all around…and there’s the BWO. The reaction from Foley is hilarious. Think Ray from Ghostbusters when he says “It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man”. Just cracks me up every time. Match hasn’t started yet. Stevie looks good here actually. Joey sums up the BWO perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it. And the best is they couldn’t sue us because it was a parody.”

For those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, the BWO is the Blue World Order: Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy and Hollywood Nova (Simon Dean). They were a parody of the NWO which wound up being ridiculously popular so they ran with it. Stevie says they’re taking over and kicks Sandman in the face. Let the brawling begin. Kid Kash is here, having just been fired from TNA, marking I believe the first and only time it was mentioned on WWE programming. He does nothing and here are Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten: the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks.

They beat up the BWO so the interfering people are fighting the other interfering people. Nova gets the tar chaired out of him. Joey: that’s more painful than having to be Simon Dean on national TV. Everyone brawls in the aisle and Kash has the referee get on all fours for a HUGE front flip onto all of them. Bubba busts out the trashcans. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey there it is, 14 minutes after the Dudleys’ song started. Dreamer has a cheese grated.

The fans chant for Cactus Jack which Foley kind of laughs off. Cheese grater across Dreamer’s head is SICK! Oh he’s busted bad so Bubba rubs it on his face. Joey: Tommy’s skin looks like cabbage in a coleslaw. In case you can’t tell, I freaking love this. Foley calls the grater comical. Sometimes I’d pay to be inside that man’s head. Sandman brings in the ladder. We get probably my all time favorite comedy line in wrestling.

Joey says he was going to compare Dreamer wrestling tonight to Gehrig’s last at bat at Yankee Stadium but Gehrig didn’t whip out a cheese grater and start mutilating people with it. And that my friends is why I love wrestling. It’s so insane that to us it makes sense, but when you compare it to something else, it sounds ridiculous. However, in wrestling, there are three words that make things magical: It Could Happen.

That is why I love wrestling: you never know what you could see. Naturally this is just a wild brawl all over the place. Bubba hits a frog splash on Sandy which has to be better than some forms of execution. D-Von takes the White Russian legsweep and we get a double figure four on the Dudleys but the Impact Players run in. Sandman gets a That’s Incredible on barbed wire and here’s Francine.

Beaulah makes her return for the CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!!! Dreamer saves her and they have their big reunion with Dreamer’s face covered in blood. The Dudleys get DDTed by the two of them, making me smile. WHERE ELSE BUT IN WRESTLING COULD YOU GET THIS? Beaulah gets two on Bubba and she’s hardcore according to the fans. Joey is told in his headset that he can’t say balls, which he makes fun of of course.

Sandman goes through a table for two. 3D on Dreamer, and it’s the old style, not the crap one now. We have another table and here’s Spike who is seeing COLORS! Yep, the table is on fire and there goes Tommy. In a spot that makes me cringe, Tommy’s head is tilted towards the mat and blood just pools up from his head. That’s a great visual. Bubba actually dives on him for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Can’t give this a fair grade as it wasn’t a match by any definition of the word. Make no mistake about it though: this is the highlight of the show and as much fun as I can remember having watching wrestling perhaps ever.

Post match (oh like you didn’t expect something else to happen) the Dudleys go after Beaulah and get the heck cained out of them. In a spot that always makes me chuckle, Spike comes back again and Sandman turns around and just canes him again before going back to what he was doing. He looked like he was paying a parking meter or something. Sandman looks at Tommy and says someone….someone…SOMEONE GET ME A BEER! Joey: screw the beer, get him some plasma!

Another year passed and Dreamer jobbed even more, but in 2006 it was announced that ECW was being brought back as a separate brand. One of the first major storylines was the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed, which led to an eight man tag at Wrestlemania.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

Dreamer went back to jobbing on ECW for years, but would eventually get an ECW Title shot at Extreme Rules 2009 in a triple threat.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger

If Dreamer loses he’s gone. This is a hardcore match so it’s pinfalls count anywhere. Who would believe Swagger would be the most successful guy a year later? So Dreamer is on a one day contract since they mistimed the whole contract thing in storyline terms. Swagger is the guy Christian beat to get the title.

We even get big match intros. Dreamer is wearing something close to silver pants. Hey, did you know that the champion is at a disadvantage here? I didn’t know if telling you that twice in 40 seconds would be enough indication. Striker says Dreamer has a Singapore Stick. Let the ECW fans freak. White Russian Leg Sweep to Swagger. Dreamer hits a front flip with a trash can behind him so that hits their faces. This is kind of sad considering what ECW was originally about.

Dreamer sets for the baseball slide but Christian stops him and does it himself. In other words, the blonde haired WWE product did the ECW original’s thing to another WWE guy. That sums up so many things so easily. The people want tables. Yeah I’m stunned too. Swagger no sells some kendo shots and hits a belly to belly on Dreamer.

We’re going with the various one on one matches here which is about as expected. Crowd is DEAD other than for the big spots. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench but Dreamer nails him with a crutch twice and hits a DDT to get the ECW Title. More on that in a bit.

Rating: D. This is your traditional “hardcore” match which means let’s hit each other with trash cans and hope the people care. This just felt completely lifeless to me and I just wanted to see it end, which isn’t something that I have issue with that often. There are far worse matches, but this just had nothing at all to it. Even Dreamer’s win, while a big moment for old school ECW fans feels flat. Let’s look at this for a minute. Imagine Christian or Swagger in the original ECW.

One of Dreamer’s only title defenses woul dbe in a five way scramble at The Bash.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a freaking suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

It would soon be off to TNA and ANOTHER ECW reunion stable called Extreme Violence. They would face four young talented guys called Fourtune in a Lethal Lockdown match at Bound For Glory 2010.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.

EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.

The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the tar out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.

Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?

Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.

Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!

With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.

Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.

Big Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.

Raven and Morgan beat the heck out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living daylights out of me.

Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.

Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants.

Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.

AJ would want revenge and get a chance at Sacrifice 2011.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

We’ll wrap it up there as Dreamer has mainly been on the indies for the last few years. Tommy Dreamer is a guy who got over on hard work and his heart, plus the ability to use a lot of weapons. He’s somehow made a second career for himself on ECW tribute shows and characters so he’s a smart guy if nothing else. He’s a character that you need to see a lot of in order to get behind, but he can give some good speeches to make you care.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Straight from WWE.com.

This makes me feel better in a way.  You just have to have Hogan at a show he was responsible for creating when it turns 30.  Also, I’m so glad he’s hosting instead of wrestling.  It would have been sad as well as dangerous to see him in the ring so having him fire up the crowd is the best news possible.

Dinner and a movie are really not that romantic plus it probably won’t give you two a chance to really find out how compatible you are. Try some of these great first date ideas instead.

Photography dates are great for the better artistic types. Find some place in your city which happens to be strange but presents lots of great photo ops. Avoid the tourist traps and find someplace really special. Old houses, neighborhoods with character and different architecture as well as abandoned (but safe) buildings can create awesome opportunities for fantastic photos. Both of you will have plenty of time to bond while clicking those pics, although not only will be you able to be artistic.

Bowling is actually fun and provides you both the chance to be active and a little competitive. There are tons of bowling alleys that contain done great upgrades, meaning that it is possible to find one with a pretty decent bar attached. If you two hit it off and decide to plan more bowling dates, consider getting some equipment like <a href=“http://shop.bowlersparadise.com/bowling-balls.aspx”>cheap bowling balls</a> to aid improve your game. Find all of the bowling equipment you need at <a href=“http://shop.bowlersparadise.com”>shop.bowlersparadise.com</a>.

A junk food date is a fun way to explore your city and avoid the stereotypical dinner date. Find cupcake places, ice cream parlors or places with great pub grub and enjoy an incredible variety of food. Take this chance to discover new restaurants in town and to really get a chance to be aware what your date likes and doesn’t like.

Don’t forget the planetarium. You may be unable to get great romantic views of the stars if you live within a city. Planetariums are really dark, giving you and the date the opportunity to cuddle up together. Some nights there could be music shows or other events which are aimed at grown-ups. Pick one of these nights and avoid the families and children.

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 20, 2014
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still in Manchester and the big story is the announcement of Lethal Lockdown between Team MVP and Team Dixie for control of the company in two and a half weeks. Last week’s show saw a huge emphasis on the MVP vs. Dixie story with very little else getting extended TV time so hopefully things are given more room to breathe tonight. The main event is Gunner cashing in his Feast or Fired case on Magnus for a World Title shot. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Nelson Frazier Jr.

The opening recap shows us Gunner’s road to the world title shot tonight which has been his dream since he was a kid. All he’s wanted to be is a champion and tonight is his chance.

Dixie ensures Magnus that something is a done deal and tells him to go to the ring and break some bad news. Magnus says if Dixie goes down, he’s not going down with her. The champ also tells Ethan that they need to get along, personal feelings aside. Ethan shakes the champ’s hand and they all head to the ring.

Magnus calls MVP out to the ring to make an announcement, as long as the fans sit down and be quiet while he does it. The champ says he isn’t impressed by people who glorify criminal conduct or people like MVP who have spent nine years in jail. Magnus warns MVP to never think about getting in the ring with him, because nine years in jail will be nothing like nine minutes in the ring with the world champ. MVP goes on a rant about how Magnus is always calling himself the champion and a real champion shouldn’t have to do that.

Enough of that though as MVP cuts to the chase: is the Lethal Lockdown match on or not? Magnus accepts on Dixie’s behalf but he won’t be in the match at team captain. He has bigger fish to fry than dealing with some 50 Cena wannabe. If MVP tries to mess with Magnus, he’ll make MVP his…..MVP: “Don’t say it.” Magnus says it anyway and the fight is on. Cue Ethan for the double team and we see Spud telling security to hold the Wolves back. Gunner finally comes out for the save and the heels run, only to have the Wolves show up behind them. Magnus shoves Ethan to them and a kick to the ribs drops Carter.

We recap Bobby Roode helping Magnus over and over again for a promised title shot, only to have Dixie back out of the deal. Roode had to beat Joe last week to get the shot but lost, sending him over the edge. Bobby responds tonight.

Back from a break and Ethan shouts at Magnus that he literally just threw him to the Wolves. Magnus says that it was in the best interest of the Carters and Ethan is ticked.

Samoa Joe is in the ring and says he gets the winner of tonight’s title match at Lockdown. That leaves him without a match tonight and that’s not cool. He’s here in Manchester to get into a fight so any member of Dixieland that wants a fight, come get it. This brings out Zema and the BroMans who surround the ring. Joe asks which it’ll be before saying he’ll fight all three.

BroMans/Zema Ion vs. Samoa Joe

Joe cleans house to start and sidesteps Zema’s middle rope cross body. The tag champions break up the MuscleBuster and Jesse hits a nice dropkick. Robbie drops a middle rope elbow and Zema gets two off a middle rope moonsault. All three of them hit charges in the corner but Joe pulls the BroMans into the way of a Zema missile dropkick. A DDT/Russian legsweep combo takes the champions down to the floor and there’s the suicide elbow. Back inside and Zema charges into the corner Rock Bottom, setting up the MuscleBuster and Koquina Clutch for the win at 3:38.

Rating: C+. This was the right way to use a comedy tag team and their goofy manager. Thankfully the Bro Mans didn’t lose the fall here, even though they got beaten up pretty badly. It’s a good way to make Joe look strong heading into Lockdown and that’s the right idea given the odds he’s up against.

Christy Hemme gets a new battery pack from a production hand.  After she leaves, Samuel Shaw comes up and destroys the guy before taking Christy’s old pack.

Bobby Roode goes in to see James Storm and says James is one of the guys that he’s been able to trust in wrestling. Roode apologizes for everything he’s done to Storm over the years and calls the Beer Money times special. Storm isn’t sure what to think and asks if Roode has been in his beer. He thinks Roode is retiring and tries to talk him out of it, saying Roode needs to slap the business back in the face and move on to the next day. They hug and seem to be on good terms.

Austin Aries comes in to see MVP and is offered a spot on the team at Lockdown. MVP calls it the anchor spot but Aries says he puts things over the top instead of dragging them down. Aries asks what’s in it for him and MVP makes some vague promises. Austin says he’s heard that before and MVP just says things will be positive. That’s not enough for Aries but he says he’ll think about it.

Video on the Maximum Impact tour.

Madison Rayne and I believe Gail Kim get in a fight in the back. The camera looked to be a regular handheld one instead of a professional one.

Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

This is a street fight and the title is not on the line. Madison comes out first and jumps Gail with a cookie sheet. Gail comes back with some choking with a kendo stick but misses a charge into the corner. Madison kicks her to the floor but Tapa dares her to come outside. The champ is happy to oblige and catches Tapa in a guillotine choke, kicking Gail in the process.

Tapa stays on her feet and drives Madison spine first into the apron. Gail puts on the Figure Four around the post but can’t hold onto it that long. Madison comes back with a shot to the face and a clothesline to the ribs which is called a spear. Tapa comes in but takes a cookie sheet to the ribs. The distraction lets Gail hit Madison with the belt for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C. This was a nice fight but it needed a bit more time. Tapa continues to be a waste of a spot as there’s nothing to her other than she’s big and screams a lot. It doesn’t help that Gail, while very talented, has done almost everything she can do in TNA and there’s not much interesting she can do.

Anderson shows Christy pictures of his kids and Shaw isn’t cool with it.

Another Gunner video on wanting to be a wrestler since he was a kid and becoming a Marine. We hear from his family who are so proud of him. Well done video.

Kurt Angle will be inducted into the Hall of Fame next week.

Ethan says he can’t take anything away from Angle’s career and he’ll let Kurt announce his news next week. He won’t say what that news is but retirement seemed to be implied.

James Storm tells Gunner that this is his time. Gunner says he’s wanted this his whole life and gives Storm the Tag Title Feast or Fired case.

Here’s an emotional looking Roode for his announcement. He says he’s been proud to call Impact Wrestling his home for the last eleven years. As kids, a lot of us have a dream we want to achieve and he’s gotten to do that for seventeen years. Roode isn’t proud of a lot of the things he’s done in the past but he can’t change those things. The only thing he can change is the future and that’s why he’s here tonight. Tonight is his last night as a pro wrestler but the fans say NO.

For the last several months he’s looked in the mirror and only seen hate. He’s had to put up with Dixie’s nonsense for months now and he has to walk away. He thanks the fans but here’s Dixie to stop him from leaving. Roode doesn’t get to make that call because he still has a TNA contract. Dixie brings up Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles and Sting as people that just caused her problems.

She needs him but Roode says he doesn’t want more lies. Dixie apologizes but Bobby says it’s not his problem and he doesn’t want to be here anymore. She offers him the captain’s spot on her team at Lockdown, offering him 10% of TNA if he wins. He can even have his own lawyers draw up the contract. Bobby reluctantly agrees but threatens Dixie’s future if she screws him over.

A German wrestler named Bad Bones won the international Gut Check challenge. He says something in German but we see Shaw jumping Anderson and taking Christy away.

After a break Bad Influence offers their services for Lethal Lockdown but Roode tells them to prove it tonight. Bad Influence isn’t pleased.

Wolves vs. Bad Influence

Edwards and Kaz get us going and they hit the match for a nice technical sequence into a standoff. Daniels comes in with a cheap shot to Eddie but Edwards brings in Richards for a double Japanese armdrag. Kaz gets kicked in the head but Daniels sends Richards to the floor. Kaz drives him back first into the apron and sends him back inside for a two count off a clothesline.

A spinwheel kick gets two more on Davey but he sends Bad Influence into each other and makes the tag off to Edwards. An over the shoulder Stunner gets two on Daniels before Eddie throws Daniels into the air for a kick from Davey. A pair of top rope double stomps from the Wolves is enough for the pin on Daniels at 6:10.

Rating: C+. I like the Wolves far better as a tag team instead of singles guys fighting over Dan Severn. The match was good for the amount of time it had and I’d like to see the long form version between these teams. Edwards still comes off as the better of the two and I’d see him as having a better future as a singles guy

Shaw takes Christy to a room where she wakes up. He tells her everything is ok and chases off a cameraman.

Willow is coming.

Video on Magnus wanting to be a wrestler.

Roode vs. MVP next week.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Gunner

This is no countout and No DQ. After the Big Match Intros, Magnus bails to the floor before any contact is made. Back in and Gunner works on a wristlock but gets reversed into a headlock. The hold stays on for about two and a half minutes before Gunner comes back with a back elbow and a clothesline. Magnus comes right back with a knee to the back to send Gunner outside. The champ calls for help from the back but gets the Wolves and Storm instead as we take a break.

Back with Magnus putting on a camel clutch as Tenay tells us this is No DQ and No countout, which I don’t remember being announced at first. Gunner fights up so Magnus changes to a sleeper, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex. It’s Magnus up first and the top rope elbow gets two. Magnus goes to the floor and gets the title belt but Gunner lifts him into a fireman’s carry. The champ escapes and both guys try cross bodies to give us another stalemate.

Ethan and the Bro Mans come in but the Wolves and Storm immediately come in to counter and they fight to the back. Gunner powerbombs Magnus down and hits a top rope headbutt to the ribs. Spud runs out and puts Magnus’ foot on the ropes and Gunner is TICKED. He goes after the Rockstar but gets blasted in the head with the title for a close two. Storm comes back out as Gunner starts Hulking Up. A Rock Bottom lays out Magnus and Gunner goes up again, only to have Storm superkick him out of the air, giving Magnus the pin at 16:38.

Rating: C+. This was a good match but the constant interference needs to calm down for a bit. I do like Storm turning as it means we don’t have to deal with him being the guy who used to be world champion a few years ago for two weeks. The match was going for an epic showdown but that doesn’t really work when we’ve been told about Gunner’s backstory over the span of two hours instead of say two months. Still though, good stuff and an actual match instead of the insanity with Sting and AJ’s shots at Magnus.

Overall Rating: B-. SO much better than last week. First and foremost, they kept Dixie to just a few segments tonight instead of about 87 last week. The Shaw vs. Anderson stuff helped as well as it sets up stuff for the future and gave us something intriguing tonight. They also started setting the stage for Lockdown which is getting closer and closer. The show wasn’t great but it was such a jump up over last week that it was far easier to sit through.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Koquina Clutch to Ion

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Kim hit Rayne with the title belt

Wolves b. Bad Influence – Top rope double stomp to Daniels

Magnus b. Gunner – Pin after a Last Call from James Storm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Again, time to take a lesson from the 80s.I’ve been watching some 80s NWA lately and one of the things you’ll hear is JR giving us the wrestlers’ stories.  This might be anything from what they did in college to something about their family to something they said to him earlier today.  It wasn’t much a lot of the time, but it gave the fans a reason to care about these people.  How many wrestlers can you think of that have almost nothing to talk about?  Make up even a little backstory so there’s something the people can relate to or care about and see how fast things get better.

Good stuff for the company.

From 411mania.com.

Overview:

NXT
Date: February 19, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Tensai

It’s the go home show for Arrival, meaning I wouldn’t expect much of interest tonight. The main stories are Neville vs. Dallas for the NXT Title in a ladder match and Cesaro vs. Zayn in a 2/3 falls match because HHH wanted it to happen. Hopefully the boss isn’t around to impose his will on a promotion that doesn’t need him at all. Let’s get to it.

Welcome Home.

Paul Heyman, Bret Hart and Diesel will be doing an NXT Kickoff show on the Network next week.

Ascension vs. Mike Lebosca/Casey Marion

Non-title. Viktor runs over Mike to start and gets two off a hard clothesline. Off to Konnor for a double powerbomb and the Fall of Man is good for the pin on Marion at 1:21.

Tyler Breeze is officially in the building.

Summer Rae vs. Emma

Bayley plays Lodi with Emma’s signs as the bubbles fill the entrance. Tensai: “BUBBLES AND HUGS! BUBBLES AND HUGS!” Summer can’t rip up the sign and Emma gets a quick two count off a rollup. Off to an armbar on Summer but she has to kick out of a dancing sunset flip. Emma gets knocked off the apron to the floor before it’s off to Rae for an armbar of her own. We get some choking with those long legs, drawing an ultra rare boring chant. Emma gets caught in a bodyscissors and we take a break.

Back with Summer getting two off something we didn’t see before she does her stretching choke on the apron. Rae gets frustrated and hammers away for two before we hit the chinlock. Emma fights up and hooks the Dilemma for a few seconds followed by the cross body in the corner. Sasha Banks gets in a quick slap to give Summer a two count but it’s the Emma Lock for the submission at 7:14 shown of 10:44.

Rating: D. The match was really boring as they were clearly just filling time for the most part. Instead of going over this boring mess, let’s look at why Emma is bombing on Raw. It’s really simple: they’re not playing to her strengths at all. Instead of being the goofy dancer that we can laugh with at stuff like fighting to be able to skin the cat before the matches and the bubbles, she’s second banana to one of the most annoying characters in the company. Santino has his fans, but he’s one of those guys that people either love or hate and it’s alienating a big chunk of the audience. Let Emma be herself and she’ll get over.

On top of that look at how she dresses on both shows. On Raw she wears a white t-shirt and black pants. She looks good enough in the outfit, but here she’s in shorts and looks like she got caught in a confetti explosion. Emma may not be the hottest Diva on the roster, but wearing more clothes hardly ever gets a female wrestler over. Let her look fun and people will have fun with her.

Tyler Breeze is NOT cool with Adrian Neville being the face of NXT.

Before the break we got an Elimination Chamber ad. When we come back, we get a video on Elimination Chamber. You can see the yellow and black turning red before your eyes.

We get a sitdown interview with Zayn and Cesaro. Sami congratulates Cesaro on getting into the Elimination Chamber but Cesaro cuts him off and says he’ll win. Renee stops them both and explains the rules of the interview (seriously): if Sami touches Cesaro, he loses any future chances at the NXT Title. If Cesaro touches Sami, he’s out of the Chamber.

Sami is asked about being medically cleared but Cesaro cuts him off again, saying it’s his Achilles. Cesaro cuts him off again so Sami gets to his feet and says he knows what’s going on. This is already behind personal and it’s on to being professional. Sami takes his profession personally and after February 27, Cesaro won’t have anything left to say.

Emma is asked about the BFFs but would rather talk about her sign and title shot next week. She’ll say something to Paige’s face next week.

Adrian Neville vs. Tyler Breeze

Feeling out process to start until Breeze stomps him down in the corner and scores with a running dropkick. Before he follows up though, time for a quick picture. Neville comes back with kicks to the ribs and a ram into the buckle as Tensai talks about ladder matches, name dropping Jeff Hardy and the Dudley Boys. A running uppercut in the corner puts Breeze down but Neville walks around instead of covering. Breeze misses a dropkick and gets kicked to the floor, setting up a big dive as we take a break.

Back with another Elimination Chamber ad because that’s why this show exists. Adrian gets two off a top rope dropkick and picks Breeze up for a nice sitout powerbomb for two. In one of the few nice sequences of the night, Neville loads up a springboard dive but stops on the top as Breeze tries to dropkick him out of the air but Neville hasn’t even jumped yet. Breeze pops up and scores with a superkick to put both guys down. The Beauty Shot misses and a kick in the corner sets up the Red Arrow for the pin by Neville at 8:25 shown of 11:25.

Rating: C. The match was fine and that fake out spot by Neville was a nice touch. There’s nothing wrong with giving Neville a win to set up the ladder match, but unfortunately it comes at the end of a very boring show. Breeze needs to add something new to his act because the appeal is starting to wear off.

Post match Neville grabs the mic but Bo Dallas’ music cuts him off. Bo congratulates Neville on his climb up the ladder of success. “Look what I did there. Ladder?” Adrian has gone as far as he can though because the title reign isn’t ending next week. Neville has finally figured Bo out: he’s scared of Adrian but doesn’t hate him. Adrian is going to win the title next week but right now he’ll let Bo have a free shot. Bo takes off his jacket and walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I always knew this day would come but I’ve been dreading it the entire time. NXT is officially a Raw clone which takes away all of its appeal. It used to be this fun underground show that offered a retreat from WWE and gave you some old school wrestling fun. Now it’s sitdown interviews and the Face of NXT and Deus Ex Helmsley coming out and taking five minutes to make a match instead of it just being made before the show. This show is becoming less and less fun every week and I get more and more worried about what we’ll be seeing after Arrival. The show is definitely not a lost cause, but I’m scared.

Results

Ascension b. Mike Lebosca/Casey Marion – Fall of Man to Marion

Emma b. Summer Rae – Emma Lock

Adrian Neville b. Tyler Breeze – Red Arrow

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This is a last second change for obvious reasons. Today is Viscera/Mabel.

Mabel debuted as part of a tag team called Men on a Mission whose mission was never quite clear. I think it was supposed to be helping children but they went about it by doing bad raps and looking like they were caught in a Life Saver factory explosion. This is their Raw debut from July 19, 1993.

Men on a Mission vs. Hank Harris/Rich Myers

The jobbers try to jump the overly large men but Mo drop toeholds Myers down and Mabel drops a big fat leg. Mabel LAUNCHES Rich across the ring and a double splash crushes him even more. Off to Harris who bounces off Mabel’s shoulder before Mo drives Mabel onto him for the pin. Literally a squash.

After squashing jobbers for the better part of a year, Men on a Mission would get a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania X.

Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are defending and have Johnny Polo with them. About a year later, Polo would become Raven. The Men on a Mission are Mabel (Viscera) and perhaps the most worthless wrestler that I can think of at the moment, Mo. They were purple and gold and rap with their manager Oscar. That’s about it. Before the match, here’s some big chested blonde talk show host for Shawn to hit on. Burt Reynolds, pretty clearly bombed, shows up to steal her. From what I’ve heard, Reynolds was the biggest jerk on the planet backstage at this show.

The Quebecers are the Mountie and another Canadian who dress like Mounties. True story: the Royal Canadian Mounted Police yelled at the WWF and said they had to have their song (it might have been just the Mountie actually. Not that it matters) changed to say “We’re NOT the Mounties” because the RCMP was worried about people believing they were real corrupt Mounties. Wait why am I spending this much space on this match?

Anyway the champions jump the Men before the bell but 500lb+ Mabel runs them oveand brings in Mo. Since Mo is the most worthless wrestler I can think of at this moment, he’s easily beaten down and not many people care. Mo is sent to the floor and Pierre backdrops Jacques over the top and onto the worthless one. Back in and a double hot shot gets two on Mo. This is going nowhere.

Mo comes back with a forward roll attack but the tag isn’t seen. Wait yes it is and Mabel cleans house. The champions try a double suplex on the fat man but hurt their backs in the process. They try it again and actually get it to work as Polo celebrates. Pierre hits the Cannonball (assisted Swanton Bomb) for two and Mabel starts firing back. The Men hit their double splash but there’s no referee. END THIS NONSENSE ALREADY! Mabel splashes Pierre on the floor….and it’s a countout.

Rating: F+. There was no structure, there was no flow, Mo is worthless, Mabel is fat and worthless, the ending sucked, and there was entirely too little Johnny Polo. Was there ANYTHING good about this match? Oh wait the suplex was good. To give you an idea of how bad Men on a Mission were, they accidentally won the titles at a house show around this time as Mabel was too fat to get up on a cover and Jacques couldn’t kick out.

We’ll get back to Mabel for a big here with a singles match from October 10, 1994 on Raw.

Reno Riggins vs. Mabel

Riggins tries everything he can on Mabel but the big guy just stares at him. Reno is willing to try a test of strength from the middle rope and actually gets in some cheap shots, only to be slammed down. Mabel misses an elbow drop but comes back with a big leg for the easy pin.

Men on a Mission would turn heel a few months later and Mo would become more of a manager. This led to……blast it all it led to the 1995 King of the Ring. We’ll look at all of Mabel’s matches from that night.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Mabel vs. Undertaker

Mabel is interviewed on his way to the ring and cuts the most generic uninteresting promo of all time. He looks like a freaking idiot too in case you were wondering. I think Hendrix is trying to be like Jerry Lawler and of course it’s just completely failing. Taker has no urn here thanks to Kama so he’s weak or something. Remember all of those really not great Undertaker vs. Big Show matches?

One of those would be great compared to this. Mabel is just a complete and utter joke of a wrestler to put it mildly. He can’t move, he can’t do much of anything as far as offense, he’s tired after about two seconds, and he doesn’t sell a thing. Naturally Mabel’s “power (read as elbows, splashes and chinlocks)” offense wears down Taker as Vince and Doc try so hard to convince us that Mabel is a monster.

This just needs to end with Taker beating him and taking the crown. BREAKING NEWS: MABEL CAN PICK UP UNDERTAKER! For some reason this is a big deal and I have no idea why at all. Why in the world would that be a surprise? Mo is more annoying than Santino ever dreamed of being.

Oh great the referee went down after they both laid around for a few minutes. That means it’s going to go on even longer. Taker hits a chokeslam that was pretty good considering he was picking up a beached whale. Kama runs out and kicks him in the head and a legdrop sends Mabel to the finals, to meet the winner of Road Dogg and Savio Vega. I hate this show so much.

Rating: D+. This was just putting me to sleep. What was the point of this anyway? Seriously, Mabel and freaking SAVIO VEGA are going farther in this than Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. Does Vince really think that this is a good idea? Shawn vs. Diesel at Summerslam wouldn’t have been good? It just headlined Mania but it can’t be on Summerslam? This just needs to end now and have people come out from nowhere and say it was all a big joke then let us see the real show.

KOTR Finals: Mabel vs. Savio Vega

Smell those buyrates baby. The problem s instantly become apparent here: first of all, these two both suck and there was no logic at all behind pushing them as the focal points of the show. Second, the fans hate them. Neither guy gets anything resembling a good reaction either from a heel perspective or a face perspective. Third, how in the heck is Savio supposed to win here other than a fluke rollup or something like that?

This match again follows as basic of a formula as you could possibly imagine: Savio starts hot and Mabel knocks him down and goes into his basic moveset: punch, stomp, punch, bearhug, chinlock. Seriously, I just covered the first 8 minutes of a ten minute match. Savio of course gets some token jobber, because that’s what he is here in case you didn’t realize it, offense in including that pesky fluke rollup attempt.

Here’s the real point of this match as far as we’re concerned though. Just after the chinlock that nearly goes for a minute, the crowd turns on the match and start LOUDLY chanting ECW. It’s so loud that Vince actually acknowledges it. This wasn’t planned or anything, but it was so loud that Vince stopped his commentary, I think out of shock. He really and truly believed what he was putting out there was getting over, and sadly enough I would bet he blamed the wrestlers for the failure here.

Savio’s spin kick gets two, and it’s over soon thereafter. I know this was really short again, but honestly there’s just nothing at all to talk about for any ot these matches, period. It’s just so basic and phoned in that it’s sucking the life out of me. Razor gets beaten up and 1-2-3 Kid runs out and gets beaten up too. There was a tag match at the next In Your House that no one cared about either. Yes, Mabel joins Owen and Bret and eventually Stone Cold as KOTR winners.

Rating: D. Dang it just end this nonsense already! No one likes this stuff, no one cared about Mabel. No one cared about Savio. YOU HAD FREAKING SHAWN MICHAELS IN THIS FREAKING THING and you picked MABEL. Seriously, here’s your tournament: Shawn beats Kama and Mabel while Yoko beats Savio and gets the bye so he only wrestles twice. Shawn kicks him in the face and wins the tournament so the fans are happy.

Instead though, Vince has to decide what we like and tell us that Mabel is our new top heel, and shockingly, IT BOMBED. Mabel was complete and utter crap as a big heel and there’s no shock at all as to why. We had to watch Diesel vs. Mabel to main event the worst Summerslam of all time because Vince is fascinated with big men. At the same time we had Hogan vs. Giant in a monster truck match. Do you see why the NWO was considered a gift from God? DAng I hated this tournament.

The coronation might save this garbage though. It literally goes on for five minutes with bad music playing and Mo reading a proclamation. The only good part here are the fans, who are booing so loudly and chanting ECW so loudly that you can barely hear Mo. Savio comes up and gets pulled back, and the fans pelt both guys with garbage. No one bought this, plain and simple.

This win gave Mabel a World Title shot at Summerslam 1995.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and Mabel has Sir Mo with him. The idea here is Mabel has some kind of a Royal Plan to take the title off Diesel. Diesel fires off right hands to start but gets taken down by a big clothesline. The champion comes back with running clotheslines in the corner but can’t pick the fat man up. More clotheslines stagger Mabel and a running shot sends him out to the floor.

In the ONLY interesting spot of the match, Diesel dives over the top to take Mabel out. Mabel no sells it and sends Diesel into the post but has to stop for a Twinkie break. He finally charges into a boot and Diesel pounds away back inside. Mabel reverses a whip and hits the worst Boss Man Slam you’ll ever see. It looked like Diesel was hitting a DDT on the arm. The buckle pad was ripped off somewhere in there.

Mabel sits on Diesel’s back for another breather before hitting a slam. Mo gets on the apron as Mabel misses an elbow drop….and the referee is bumped off camera. Mo comes in for a double team and Luger runs in for the save but gets nailed by Diesel who thinks Luger is on Mabel’s side. Diesel is knocked to the floor and Mabel drops a leg before throwing the champion back in. Luger beats up Mo in the aisle as Mabel gets two off a belly to belly. A middle rope splash misses and a middle rope shoulder from Diesel is enough to retain the title.

Rating: F. Just….yeah. I’d love to know what Vince was on when he came up with this idea but it’s one powerful drug. Mabel was one of the worst heels of all time as he couldn’t move and was waddling around in shiny purple and gold. This was a terrible match as Diesel couldn’t do anything with the fattness. This might be the worst main event of all time. Luger would be in WCW in eight days on the debut of a show called Nitro.

Mabel’s last big feud in this run was against Undertaker, with the best of their matches being a Survivor Series match in 1995.

Royals vs. Dark Side

King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem

Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega

Mabel is on a throne carried by about five guys, all of whom look like they’re about to have hernias. The idea here is you have King Mabel, King Lawler, the blue blood and the Royal Dentist Isaac Yankem. About two years later, Isaac would put on a mask and remember that he’s Undertaker’s brother named Kane. What exactly is dark about Taker’s partners isn’t really clear. Fatu is MAKING A DIFFERENCE and is supposed to be some kind of hero for kids in the projects. He was very happy to become the Sultan a year later.

Taker’s entrance of course is huge. He has this skull looking mask on now which would eventually be purple and look very stupid. Fatu and Hunter Hearst Helmsley start things off. The Dark Side has matching t-shirts that say Rest In Peace. Fatu throws Helmsley around to start but we almost get a Pedigree, which is only broken up by a glare from Undertaker. Off to Godwin who was feuding with Hunter at this point in the standard culture clash feud.

Off to Lawler who immediately tags in Yankem. A big hop toss puts Isaac down but he sends Henry into the corner to escape. Back to Helmsley, which I’m getting tired of typing. If only there was a shorter version of his name. Perfect: “You know Helmsley likes to be called Triple H.” Thank you Mr. Perfect. Anyway, Godwin gorilla presses HHH, holding him up for a LONG time.

Lawler comes in and gets Savio which is a clash of styles if I’ve ever heard of one. Vega pounds away on Jerry as does Fatu. Yankem gets in a knee to Fatu’s back and the evil King takes over. Isaac comes in to slam Fatu and a legdrop follows. Mabel comes in but misses a splash in the corner. Vega pounds on Mabel in a rematch of the KOTR final. A side slam kills Vega but there’s no cover.

Vega gets beaten on in the corner to fill in more time. Yankem is listed as 6’8 or 6’9 here, which means he would have grown about three or four inches by the time he became the Big Fried Freak. A HHH knee drop gets two on Vega as the crowd is silent because none of this means anything. This is all just filler until we get to the Taker tag when the place is going to erupt.

Lawler’s piledriver on Vega gets two. Well it’s not Memphis so it’s understandable. Lawler knocks Vega into the corner…..and here’s Taker. Jerry gets thrown around by the throat and no one will tag him. Tombstone and pin on Lawler, tombstone and pin on Yankem, chokeslam and pin on Helmsley, and there’s just Mabel left. He immediately belly to belly suplexes Taker down and drops the face crushing legdrop before dancing a bit. There’s the situp and Mabel runs for the countout.

Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Taker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Taker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.

Mabel would leave the company for about four years, eventually returning in 1999 and almost immediately joining Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness as Viscera. There aren’t a lot of highlights here as Viscera was really just the big guy that others beat. He continued in that role after the Ministry broke up and fought a newcomer on December 20, 1999.

Kurt Angle vs. Viscera

This is during Kurt’s goofy period which was hilarious. Before the match he talks about the Three I’s: Intensity, integrity and intelligence. The goofy look on his face is great. Angle starts by trying to go behind Viscera but is easily bulldogged down. Viscera easily overpowers him and hits a Samoan Drop for no cover. Angle comes back with some dropkicks including one off the top. Steve Blackman, who has been having issues with Angle lately, comes out and blasts Viscera with a kendo stick for no apparent reason, allowing Kurt to hit the not yet named Angle Slam for the quick pin.

Viscera would leave again in the summer and hit the indies for a few more years. He would return in 2004 as a jobber to the stars, including this match on November 1, 2004.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Shelton has bad ribs here. Viscera hits him in the ribs and takes the tape off. This goes very slowly because that’s as fast as Viscera can go. Shelton rams him into the middle buckle and splashes him, but the T-Bone isn’t going to work. Choke bomb is countered and Shelton wins with the Dragon Whip.

Rating: F. What in the world was the point of this? Was it supposed to make us want to see Shelton vs. Christian? There’s no history between Viscera and Christian but apparently just saying they work together now means something. The match sucked on top of that and Viscera was gone soon thereafter.

Viscera would eventually change into his most famous gimmick: the World’s Largest Love Machine. This included a match at Backlash 2005 against Kane.

Kane vs. Viscera

Kane runs into Viscera and bounces off of him. He kicks Viscera tot he floor and dives onto Visc to take over. The fans still want Matt. Back in and Viscera hits the wheel kick and we get a pelvic thrust. Kane goes after Trish for some reason but gets splashed and caught in a Samoan Drop for two. Sidewalk slam gets the same. Kane gets in a boot to the face and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam, but Visc elbows out of it.

A clothesline puts Kane on the floor but Viscera runs into the post. Trish goes after Kane with a chair for some reason but Lita blasts her with a crutch (Lita had a bad knee). Back in Kane goes up but dives into a choke bomb for two. Lita gets in the ring for some reason and Visc tries to kiss her, but Kane comes back with a big boot and a chokslam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a boring match for the most part and I really don’t get what the idea of this was supposed to be at all. So did Trish want to sleep with Visc or something? Why else would she have gone after Kane like that? Either way it made little sense and the match wasn’t any good either.

Trish yells at Viscera post match and says even if he had won, she wouldn’t have slept with him. She says she’ll get a real man so he picks her up, shakes her, and then splashes her, which I think was supposed to be a face turn. Trish is taken out on a stretcher.

The next year didn’t have much for Viscera as he formed some forgettable tag teams with Charlie Haas and Val Venis. Eventually he would turn into the monster heel again as Big Daddy V and terrorize ECW for a bit. He earned an ECW Title shot against CM Punk at No Merch 2007.

ECW Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V is challenging and has Striker with him. This was supposed to be Dreamer vs. Punk but GM Estrada did something to stop that. Punk is the hometown boy so you know he gets a big pop. V immediately throws Punk to the floor and back in it’s anal raping time. Look up the Visagra and you’ll get the idea. Punk comes back with some kicks but they have no effect at all. A corner splash misses and a missile dropkick puts V down….and here’s Striker for the DQ. This was like 90 seconds long.

We’ll close it out with a win from Armageddon 2007.

Mark Henry/Big Daddy V vs. Kane/CM Punk

Punk is ECW Champion here and is having to stick and move against the monsters. Kane is here to help even out the size stuff. Punk vs. Henry to start us off. Punk fires off some kicks and then tries to pick up the leg because faces are idiots in this company. Off to Kane whose strikes do a bit better. He gets a shot to the knee and Henry is actually in trouble. Back to Punk who gets flattened by a clothesline.

Off to Big Daddy V and the girth of death. Punk gets sent to the floor where Striker, the manager of V, gets in a shot. Henry pounds on him for awhile until a corner splash misses. Moderately warm tag brings in Kane who cleans a few rooms. The Big Bald hits the top rope clothesline to put Henry down but V breaks up the chokeslam. Sitout chokebomb gets two for V. I thought it was tea for two and two for tea but whatever.

V pounds away while in whale humping position. He splashes Kane and it’s off to Henry for some bearhuggery. Better than buggery I suppose. V comes in for Kane to fire away but another fat boy clothesline takes him down. Kane channels his inner deadman and hits a running DDT to put both guys down (Henry in this case). Double tag brings in V and Punk and everything breaks down. Punk and V are alone in the ring so Punk tries the springboard clothesline. He lands in a Samoan Drop though and we’re done.

Rating: C-. I guess this is the only thing they could put on the show. Having Punk lose is ok here because that was the point of the angle: he can’t beat either of the monsters. This wasn’t too bad but it could have been a main event on ECW TV. Either way, the big man vs. big man stuff got old after awhile which hurt the match a bit.

Mabel never was a great worker or anything close to it, but he had an awesome look and a win over him could make someone look impressive. I don’t know of anyone who was a fan of the guy back in 1995 but he had success and main evented the second biggest show of the year. Like him or not, 43 years old is too young to pass away no matter what. Hopefully it gets some people to take their health a bit more seriously.

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