We’ll go with someone a bit better looking than Big Show today: Tara, or Victoria if you’re not a TNA fan.

Victoria would begin training in 2000 and make her in ring debut (she had been an on screen character as one of Godfather’s Ho’s for awhile) in the WWE in August 2002 with her first feud against Trish Stratus. Believe it or not there was a story here with Victoria saying Trish ripped her off when they were both fitness models. This led to a hardcore match for Trish’s title at Survivor Series 2002.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Hardcore rules here and Trish is defending. This is their second PPV match after Trish won last month. Victoria immediately chokes her with Trish’s coat before getting a broom out of one of the trashcans on each post. Trish jumps the broom (lucky guy) but Victoria takes her down almost immediately. Victoria chokes her with the broom in the corner but gets flipped to the mat.

Now Trish finds a trashcan lid but Victoria knocks the lid into her head with the broom. We head to the floor and Trish gets whipped HARD into the trashcan. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two. The challenger puts a trashcan in between the top and middle rope but Trish grabs her legs and slingshots Victoria’s head into the can. Trish sets up an ironing board in the corner and whips Victoria into it for two.

It’s kendo stick time with Victoria taking a beating. She gets a boot up in the corner though and BLASTS Trish with a trashcan lid. Victoria has a bloody nose and sits on the middle rope, allowing Trish to try a rana out of the corner. Victoria counters into a kind of Boston Crab position, but Trish does a big situp and hits Victoria in the head with a can lid.

That only stuns her though so Trish BLASTS her in the head with a trashcan lid again to knock Vicotira off the ropes and out to the floor. Victoria gets a mirror from under the ring but Trish superkicks her down. Chick Kick (Punk’s high kick) gets two for Trish as does a bulldog. Victoria rolls to the floor and pulls out a fire extinguisher to blast Trish with. That and a suplex gets the pin and the title for the nutjob.

Rating: B. This was AWESOME with both chicks beating the tar out of each other. The story of the match worked really well too with Trish trying to wrestle her way out of trouble against a monster that wanted to hurt her no matter what. This worked really well and is one of the most intense Divas matches you’ll ever see.

Victoria would become more and more psycho before hooking up with Steven Richards in a bizarre relationship that lasted for several months. She would hold the title until Wrestlemania XIX when she would defend it in a threeway against Jazz and Trish.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and is still psycho here. She’s also Tara for you TNA fans. Jazz hits a quick dropkick for two on Trish before Victoria can even get to the ring. Off to what we would call a Last Chancery to the Canadian after the champion is knocked to the floor. Everyone winds up outside with the champion taking over. She sends Trish back inside for a slingshot legdrop, getting two. Jazz and Victoria square off now before turning their attentions back to Stratus for some double teaming.

That goes nowhere though as it’s time for the villains to fight again with Jazz getting two off a powerslam. Trish comes back with a rollup on Victoria for two but she clotheslines Trish down for two as a result. Jerry: “Trish is like a quarter among pennies in there.” JR: “…..what?” Jazz hits a sitout powerslam for two on Stratus before arguing with Victoria even more. A spin kick by Jazz hits Victoria by mistake and allows Trish to roll her up for two. The Chick Kick puts Jazz down and the Stratusphere does the same to Victoria.

The champion is knocked to the floor as Jazz puts Trish in a half crab which is transitioned into an STF. Victoria’s boyfriend/manager Steven Richards comes in to send Jazz to the floor, allowing the other two to trade rollups for two each. Jazz comes back in and lifts Trish up for a double chickenwing before dropping her down on her uh…face. Yeah face. Victoria kicks Jazz down but misses a moonsault, knocking herself to the floor. Richards comes in and hits himself with a chair. As he goes to the floor, Trish hits the Chick Kick on Victoria for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Not bad again here and one of the better women’s matches I’ve seen in a long time. There wasn’t much of a story being told here but at the same time, they looked like they knew what they were doing and never looked lost, which puts them miles ahead of anything in the last three years of Divas matches.

As is almost always the case with the Divas, there weren’t a ton of stories around this time. There would however be one match of note on November 24, 2003: the first Divas cage match with Victoria vs. Lita in Lita’s first match back after breaking her neck.

Lita vs. Victoria

There’s no backstory to this one as the gimmick is selected through Raw Roulette. Lita jumps Victoria as she gets in the cage and rams her into the steel. Victoria’s pants start riding down a bit and Jerry freaks out at the sight of a thong. Lita is sent face first into the steel as well and the spinning sidewalk slam gets two. Victoria can’t make it through the door and some right hands from Lita have her in trouble.

The redhead can’t make it out of the cage as Victoria makes the save, pulling her down from the top for two. A spear sends Lita’s back into the cage but she comes back with a powerbomb out of the corner. Lita goes up and moonsaults a standing Victoria but the EVIL Matt Hardy comes in and slams the door on Lita’s head, allowing Victoria to crawl out for the win.

Rating: D+. The match was way too short to go anywhere but DANG the girls looked good out there. I know Lita is often remembered for looking great but crazy Victoria was no slouch whatsoever. Evil Matt was a decent idea but it didn’t have the time to really go anywhere. Again, more of a novelty than anything else.

Speaking of novelties, Victoria would eventually turn face and win the title, leading to a hair vs. title match at Wrestlemania XX. I don’t think I need to explain it any further than that.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and Molly has her hair on the line. The champion has the awesome All The Things She Said as her theme song as is looking sweet in white here. They lock up to start and Molly pounds her down before whipping Victoria into the corner. Victoria nips up off the mat and sends Molly to the floor but loses control soon thereafter. Back in again as the match is already going slowly.

A low dropkick gets two on Victoria and it’s off to a reverse cravate by Molly. A quick rollup gets two for Victoria as JR says he doesn’t wear underwear. Victoria powerslams her down for two but Molly heads up a few seconds later. An attempted superplex is countered into a slow motion sunset bomb for two for Molly. A backslide out of nowhere retains the title for Victoria, meaning it’s time to see a bald Holly.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here other than both girls looking incredibly cute. As is usually the case, there’s no explanation given for why this match is happening, nore does anyone seem interested in telling us. Molly would get a wig soon after this which admittedly was pretty amusing. Nothing to the match which didn’t even last five minutes.

Molly tries to put Victoria into the barber’s chair post match but can’t get the clippers to work. The champion fights back and lays Molly out for the haircut.

Since this is WWE and Victoria is a good looking woman, a special outfit match had to be coming eventually. This is from Taboo Tuesday 2004.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Nidia vs. Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly vs. Victoria vs. Stacy Keibler

This is the schoolgirl battle royal and yes Trish is defending the title in a battle royal. She’s ticked and a heel here. Jazz isn’t someone I want to see dressed like this. Why can’t Lillian be in this? I’ve never been sure if Nidia is hot or not. Gail looks good too. She never meant a thing after her debut though. Molly is growing her hair back after having it shaved at I think Mania. Victoria (Tara) looks great like this. Stacy is perfect for it with the legs.

It’s not over the top either. The crowd is more into this than the first match. Nidia’s top falls off and she gets knocked out. Jazz is hanging on to the bottom rope and Victoria accidentally hits her with a baseball slide to put her out. Gail is out. There isn’t much to say here at all. Stacy gets the biggest pop of the night for doing a Nash leg choke on Victoria.

This is mainly just a way for Lawler to freak over underwear shots. Molly and Trish get rid of Victoria, leaving the two of them and Stacy. This is boring as all goodness. Stacy is supposed to be the big face here and she makes a bit of a comeback but Molly puts her out easily. Trish is almost out earlier but holds on and sneaks up on Molly to put her out and retain.

Rating: D-. This was bad on all levels. I’ve never gotten the appeal of the schoolgirl thing and this was no exception. Nothing came from this at all but at least it was quick. It was boring as heck on top of that too so there we are. At least it’s over and the girls are hardly bad looking….for the most part.

Around this time we started getting some new Divas, including one by the name of Christy Hemme. She and Victoria started a feud over a swimsuit contest, leading to a match at Vengeance 2005.

Christy Hemme vs. Victoria

They start fast and Victoria does all kinds of evil things to Christy. This is non-title also since the title is on Smackdown at the moment. The cards in the set change based on who is in the current match. The fans don’t really care either. Lawler says this is about looks or whatever. Christy botches the heck out of a sunset flip. Yeah I’m stunned too.

Ross freaks because Christy can do a DDT. She can do one of the least complex moves of all time and she gets cheered for it. She goes for another sunset flip and Victoria drops down and grabs the ropes for the heel pin.

Rating: D-. The lack of failing is because these are two of the hottest Divas of all time. The match was totally awful though, if you didn’t guess that part. Christy was gorgeous but it was clear that she just wasn’t all that great in the ring and it showed every time she was out there. Even Victoria couldn’t save her, and that says quite a bit.

After entering and leaving an alliance called Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson called Vince’s Devils, it was back to old stomping grounds for Victoria as she faced Trish Stratus on the August 21, 2006 episode of Monday Night Raw.

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

They slug it out to start and Trish hits a splash in the corner followed by a dropkick. Trish knocks her to the floor and hits the Thesz Press to the floor. Clothesline gets two back in the ring. Victory roll gets the same and you know Lawler was happy with that. Stratusfaction is countered into a backbreaker and Victoria works on the back a bit. They go to the corner and Trish hits a middle rope hurricanrana but Victoria pops up and tries the Widow’s Peak. Trish escapes and Stratusfaction ends this clean.

Rating: C+. This was FAR better than any Divas match that we’ve had in years. It’s only about three minutes long and they did more good looking stuff than the modern batch of Divas have done in I don’t know how long. Trish was gorgeous but she could also have some great matches. Victoria is no slouch either.

Mickie James was Women’s Champion around this time and that wasn’t cool with Victoria. She created a hit list and went after every name before getting to Mickie, with the showdown coming at New Year’s Revolution 2007.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Mickie James

So for a month and a half, Victoria has had a hit list of the Divas to get to James and this is the end of that. Mickie is still rocking the insane skirts at this point. Ross and Lawler talk about Jack Doane’s hometown for zero explainable reason. Lillian is cheering for Mickie as Lillian almost got a Widow’s Peak on Raw.

Mickie starts throwing punches which is weird to see. And Lawler gets to use the line of he loves to see her wrestle but he’d love to see her box. Ross misses it though so we get no rebuttal. Melina comes out to help Victoria and it doesn’t work as Mickie hits her spinning DDT for the pin.

Rating: F+. Only reason are all the great visuals. The booking here makes zero sense as they built Victoria up as the monster for a month and a half and now it’s just thrown away. Oh well, they looked hot so that’s all that matters in this division. Lawler’s lines were beyond old at this point and brought it down even further.

Victoria would become a veteran around this time, meaning she would be used to bring up the newer Divas coming in to replace the retired Trish and Lita. This would go on for most of 2008, including a six Diva tag on October 31, 2008’s Smackdown.

Michelle McCool/Maria/Brie Bella vs. Maryse/Natalya/Victoria

Michelle is Divas Champion and everyone is in Halloween costumes, ranging from Cleopatra (Brie) to a bunny (Maria) to a soldier (McCool) to a French maid (Maryse) to a cop (Natalya) to…..Victoria as a banana. Maria throws Victoria around but the banana cartwheels out of it. Off to Natalya who gets hit in the ribs and dragged over to Cleopatra, only to come back with a Samoan drop.

Maryse comes in for a backbreaker and two before the big banana hits her spinning side slam for the same. Brie tries to hide under the ring and it’s Twin Magic, allowing for the tag off to McCool. House is cleaned and a neckbreaker gets two on Victoria. Maria makes a blind tag and comes off the top with a cross body for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. If you don’t get the point of this one, I don’t know how to help you.

That would be about it for Victoria in the WWE as she would leave in January 2009 but would appear again very soon, this time in TNA as Tara. She would win two Knockouts Titles in her first six months but neither of them would last a full month. That would change after her 2/3 falls match against champion ODB at Genesis 2010.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB

This is 2/3 falls which makes sense as they’ve had a match or two before and you can’t have the same match again as we had a few weeks ago and then ask people to pay for it. THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE! That Broken song is AWESOME. There’s not a ton going on in the first few minutes here as it’s just them going back and forth.

This is the problem with 2/3 falls matches: you don’t have to really pay attention until the second fall, which is starting right now as Tara hooks a small package for the first fall. Tara hooks the tarantula. Not a lot is going on here at all. We get a great shot of Tara’s figure to make this match much better. Brooke shot number 6. This time she’s with Joey Fatone.

If TNA insists on the celebrity thing, get celebrities that have mattered this millennium. ODB uses the freaking Tumbleweed. Are we in the mid 70s all of a sudden? She pulls something out of her cleavage to be odd before hitting a powerslam for two. This is kind of meandering along and needs to end soon. ODB keeps touching herself and checking her pulse. It’s freaking stupid looking. And the Widow’s Peak ends it. The timing was pretty good if nothing else. What the heck is up with the freaking spider???

Rating: C-. Not great here as the 2/3 falls thing felt way too much like a gimmick for the sake of having a gimmick which I can If never advocate. Tara winning the title is fine, but she didn’t need to get two straight wins to do it. That was overkill which is never a good thing.

The next few months brought various title defenses against any Knockout until Angelina Love took the title from her about four months later. She wanted the title back so badly that she agreed to put her career on the line against new champion Madison Rayne at Sacrifice, only to lose the title. A few months later, a mysterious biker would appear and help Madison in matches. The biker would be revealed as Tara, who was under a contract with Madison to continue her career. Eventually Tara would a title shot at Angelina Live in a fatal fourway at Bound For Glory 2010, also involving Madison and Velvet Sky.

KnockoutsTitle: AngelinaLovevs. MadisonRaynevs. VelvetSkyevs. Tara

Dang Mickie looks good. I could go without the hardcore country thing though. One fall to a finish here and tags are required. Angelina vs. Madison to start us off. Off to the regular Beautiful People now which is the only match left in that division I suppose. Madison comes in and gets in Mickie’s face but that goes nowhere.

This is another match that is going too fast to really keep track of. Tara vs. Velvet at the moment. How in the world did Hefner think Tara didn’t look good enough for Playboy? Octopus Hold from Velvet to Tara which blows my mind a million ways to Monday. The tagging thing is of course abandoned soon. Widow’s Peak doesn’t go on as Angelina makes a save. And then she rolls up Velvet with some tights being pulled to give her the title. We get the BROKEN song so I’m very happy. Madison goes off on her and Mickie kicks her teeth in. So it’s Tara vs. Mickie now? Ok then.

Rating: D+. Pretty much just a mess here and only a way to get the title on the show. This wasn’t much at all but you had five hot women and you get to add Mickie to the division now which is definitely not a bad thing at all as it was dying for some fresh blood. Nothing very good here but I’ve seen worse.

Tara and Madison would continue their partnership for several more months, including through Tara’s feud with Mickie James. Eventually Madison would take on Mickie herself, only to have Tara turn on her for her freedom. Soon after this Tara would join forces with Miss Tessmacher and challenge Mexican America for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Miss Tessmacher/Tara

 

Tara and Tessmacher wait for the champs to come through the curtain to jump them. After a beating in the aisle there’s the bell. A double team sends Tara to the floor and Tessmacher hits a double clothesline. Hey, since there are four hot chicks in the ring, let’s show the old Spanish announce team! Tessmacher gets beaten down as we start the actual match here. There’s the required USA chant as Tessmacher takes Rosita down. Just not down enough for a tag.

 

Everything breaks down quickly as Hebner puts Tara out. More double teaming gets two on Tessmacher. Tara comes in again and throws Tessmacher to their own corner to guarantee a hot tag. Tara cleans house with some awkward looking punches. Widow’s Peak is set up forever but doesn’t hit Sarita because Madison runs in to break it up. Sarita rolls Tara up but only gets two. Tessmacher is thrown into Sarita and actually manages a Stratusfaction bulldog. Tara hits a chokebomb and Tessmacher gets a small package for stereo pins at 4:43 to give us new champs.

 

Rating: C-. Not like the title mean anything but having Tessmacher and Tara hug each other a lot is never a bad thing. Does anyone ever successfully defend the tag titles anymore? Either way, this was a bit better than most of their matches and it helps that Tessmacher has an actual finishing move now rather than the amplified Stinkface.

Not a lot would happen for Tara other than a few random single and tag title reigns. Eventually she would start feuding with her old partner Miss Tessmacher, including a match for the title at Bound For Glory 2012. The main draw here though was the identity of Tara’s Hollywood boyfriend who would debut tonight.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tess is defending. Tessmacher’s robe/jacket is on the ropes as we start. A quick crucifix gets no count for the champ. Teryn Terrell is referee again because…because…I have no idea why she’s still around actually. Tara gets sent to the floor and we get a chase scene. Tara hides behind the referee and we head right back to the floor where Tess gets dropped on the apron to give Tara the advantage.

Back in and the champ gets one on a sunset flip and it’s off to a chinlock by Tara. Tara whips her into the corner but charges into a boot followed by a DDT from Tessmacher to put both girls down. Tessmacher takes Tara down and nips right back up, followed by a top rope rana (decent one too) but Tara blocks the Tesshocker. Widow’s Peak and Tara gets the completely clean pin at 6:18.

Rating: D. The rana looked good and the girls looked good in their outfits, but thank goodness Tara won here. Tessmacher is just worthless as champion and hasn’t changed a bit since she won the belt the first time. Tara has had the belt before but at least she’s better than Tess, but most people would be.

Tara introduces the boyfriend: Jesse Godderz from Big Brother. To the shock of no one, there is zero reaction. He’s been training in OVW for like a year and has won five tag titles there. Tara and Jesse make out in the ring. Crowd: “WHO ARE YOU?”

Tara and Jesse would spend the next few months together before Tara left TNA over a pay dispute.

Tara is one of the few Knockouts/Divas that had both the looks and the wrestling ability. She could have good matches with just about anyone she worked with and that’s a rare thing to see anymore. The stuff with Lita and Trish was always great and she was able to help the Knockouts division get beyond the Beautiful People. She’s very talented and looks great for a woman in her 40s so there’s little to complain about with her.

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Today we go with someone bigger than most of the tag teams I’ve talked about: The Big Show.

Big Show is perhaps the only member of a select group of wrestlers to win a world title in his debut match. His in ring debut was at Halloween Havoc 1995, but that wasn’t his first action of the night. Before the wrestling match that night, the Giant and his opponent for later in the night, Hulk Hogan, had a battle of monster trucks on the roof of Detroit’s Cobo Hall. This is important for the match later in the night.

We go to the roof and a few things to note. First of all, Hogan stands about 7’8 apparently as he TOWERS over those “six foot tall” tires. Second, the rules are you have to get both sets of axels out of the ring, which is 100ft in diameter. Ok, fair enough. Third, we’re going to weld the trucks together. Pay no attention to the fact that they were welded together earlier (this was taped the night before but that isn’t mentioned).

Also for no apparent reason, in this ring we have two charges that will go off if you run over them. Yes, allegedly, on the roof of a building, there are BOMBS that will go off if a truck runs over them. The idiocy here is off the charts. Let’s get this over with.

First of all, we waste a few minutes welding the trucks together. Allegedly these trucks run on alcohol. So wait. There are BOMBS, as in EXPLODING FIRE, near alcohol based fuel? And this company made money??? Again, someone was PAID to make this up. That’s sad.

Oh and they have co-pilots so they’re only driving one set of axels. Hogan gets put halfway out but makes the save. Hogan’s truck has a flag kind of thing that is supposed to be the bandana I guess. One of the bombs goes off and my head hurts. Ah I think I know why Tony left: he has integrity. And Hogan wins of course. Somehow, the idiocy is just beginning.

Giant gets out of his truck and goes after Hogan, and the champ goes back towards the edge of the building. They fight some more up on the ledge and Hogan accidentally knocks Giant OFF THE ROOF. Yes, this was on a major Pay Per View broadcast by a major wrestling company. Hogan’s acting here makes Mr. Nanny look like De Niro. The monster truck dude has to sit here and not break up laughing. That’s just awesome.

And now, the wrestling match.

WCW World Title: The Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

They introduce Giant first but Hogan comes out instead, all in black and sans facial hair. Wow that’s odd to see. Was Hart being Hogan’s BFF ever explained? Giant of course walks out with no explanation at all. In what might be the funniest thing that I have EVER seen in wrestling, the camera shoots back to Hogan just in time for him to turn to the camera and blankly stare while his mouth hangs open in awe.

I laughed out loud for a LONG time. I mean the timing was better than you could have planned if you tried forever. This was hilarious stuff to say the least. Heenan sounds orgasmic over this. His hatred of Hogan stayed forever if nothing else. Hogan has black horns painted on his head. Uh….deep?

He can’t slam him though. Oh and Giant is allegedly Andre’s son. Heenan: Eat Hogan like you would eat villagers! Ok then. Giant hooks a test of strength once Hogan is on his knees already. You know that might be more effective if your muscles were flexing or if you had ANY torque on them.

Heenan says he’s never seen Hogan wrestle in anything other than yellow and red. Odd that he’s seemingly managed against him in blue or white tights but what do I know? Giant is destroying him here. Hogan makes a comeback to some SOLID face pops and knocks Giant to the floor. Taskmaster tries to get Giant to leave but Hogan, like an idiot, stops him. Giant gets a SWEET backbreaker. Hogan was WAY in the air for that and it looked awesome.

Heenan points out how stupid Giant is for not going for Hogan’s bad neck. Give the guy a break Bobby. I mean he just fell off the frekaing roof! The bear hug goes on and Tony cracks me up by making it sound like it’s perfectly normal to come back after falling off a roof. Even in kayfabe this is ridiculous. With the paint knocked off Hogan’s head it looks like there’s a Triforce on it. And back to the bear hug. He powers out but walks into the chokeslam. He powers out of that too.

He Hulks Up and the usual puts Giant down, but the referee goes down too. The fans say Jimmy did it. Just to add to the stupidity of this match, when Hogan is yelling at Hart, you can see Giant stick his head up three separate times to see what’s going on. Even playing devil’s advocate and saying he’s playing possum, you don’t have a 7’ monster playing peek-a-boo!

Anyway, Jimmy hits Hogan with the belt but Giant saves him. And it’s bear hug time again. Luger and Savage come out. Luger of course turns heel and….here it comes. This is the thing I didn’t want to talk about all night. On the previous Nitro, the Master had said he had a surprise. At the end of the show, a random block of ice blew up and a mummy came out of it. Yes, I said a mummy.

They called him a Yeti, but he’s a large man wrapped in bandages and tape. What the heck would you call him? With Giant having him in a bear hug, Yeti comes up behind Hogan and more or less dry humps him without actually hurting him at all. It’s Reese from the Flock if you care who is under there.

Luger puts Hogan in the rack to something resembling a pop. They dry hump Savage and rack him too. Giant wins by DQ because he was Hogan’s manager when he hit the referee. They announce that the title can’t change hands on DQ.

OR CAN IT?

Yeah in this match, Hart slipped a clause in, stating that the title CAN change hands on a DQ, so the Giant is the champion. They would strip him of the title in like two weeks and put it up in the inaugural World War Three Battle Royal, which is complete nonsense as Hogan lost the title via a stipulation in a contract he signed without reading. That’s not Giant’s fault but whatever. Hogan and Savage are helped out to end the show. Heenan crying from happiness is funny.

Rating: D. This was a Hogan match with a big angle to end it and nothing more. Giant wasn’t capable of doing much here as he was just a 23 year old kid that had like 5 matches under his belt but he was 7’0 tall, athletic beyond belief and could talk. I’d push him hard like that too.

Anyway, this wasn’t that good but it was Hogan fighting a monster which was what he was best at so I can’t fault them there. A bit long with FAR too many bear hugs but to be fair Giant had no experience and no real style set yet. He would get a lot better. Yeah this was his WCW debut. I’d say this was fine given the circumstances then.

The title would be held up due to the controversial ending but Giant would be back very soon and get a title shot against Ric Flair on Nitro on April 29, 1996.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. The Giant

Flair hits on Debra again which would eventually set up a tag match at the Great American Bash where Mongo joined the Horsemen. Giant shoves him around to start as the camera pans up at him. Flair charges at him and literally bounces off of him with a shoulder block. We hit the floor and Flair runs. Flair gets a jumping thumb to the eye but Giant shrugs a chop off.

There’s your standard slam off the top for Flair and Giant gets a suplex for no cover. Giant tries a chokeslam but Flair holds onto the ropes and gets a low blow. Foreign object to the head of Giant and he’s out….not cold as the Figure Four goes on and it means nothing. Giant grabs him by the throat, pulls him to his feet, breaks the hold in the process and a chokeslam gives Giant his first non-shenanigan world title. For you trivia people out there, yes, Jimmy Hart did manage a legit world champion.

Rating: C-. Can’t really give this a fair grade as it was more or less a squash but they were trying at least. Giant looked great which is the best thing they could have done. Never let it be said that Flair doesn’t put people over. Giant getting the title was fine and they would protect him for months, which is the right idea indeed. Fine for a squash, bad match otherwise.

 

Giant would hold the title for the summer before losing it to Hollywood Hogan in August. He would join and leave the NWO over the fall and winter before teaming up with Lex Luger for a shot at the Tag Team Titles at SuperBrawl 1997.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. The Giant

Ok so there’s a backstory here. Giant and Luger are partners but Luger has a broken hand/arm and couldn’t get a doctor’s clearance in time so Giant has to go this alone. Syxx is with the champs. Hall starts off here with the idea being to tick Giant off. Hall hammers away which seems to just be getting him in trouble. One armed slam by Giant and it’s off to Nash. This was the teased match for an entire year which didn’t happen until the following January because Nash didn’t want to job to Giant.

Giant gets a dropkick to send Nash to the floor and manhandles him with ease, including ramming him into the post. Elbow gets two back in the ring. Nash gets in a shot with the Cruiserweight Title and Hall adds what was supposed to be a bulldog but Hall manages to wind up behind Giant, making it more like a Zig Zag.

Basically this is 3-1 and that’s about what was expected. Nash misses the running pelvis to the head with Giant on the middle rope in a 619 position. That move REALLY needs a name. Off to Hall again who hammers away in the corner. Giant fights them off as Syxx comes in and slips the belt to Hall who drops Giant with it. Nash manages to powerbomb Giant in a cool spot as somehow we haven’t had a DQ yet.

Here’s Luger with a cast on to clean house. He Racks Nash who hurt his back on the powerbomb. That rings a bell for a submission somehow but wait, Nash wasn’t legal. Therefore Giant (illegal) chokeslams Hall, the legal man, and pins him for the definitive pin. Naturally this was overturned the next night on Nitro for literally no reason other than “that wasn’t legal” but it was a stupid moment so I can forgive it.

Rating: D+. Match was junk for the most part but that powerbomb was indeed awesome. Nash vs. Giant would FINALLY get blown off 11 months later because WCW saw no problem with Nash screwing over a PPV audience at Starrcade. Anyway, this was more stupid stuff that meant nothing if you were paying attention but it’s WCW so there you go.

The war against the NWO would continue over the summer with nothing of note happening. One of the few matches of interest during this was against Randy Savage at Road Wild 1997.

The Giant vs. Randy Savage

Nothing special to the match, but it’s the third biggest match in company history at worst. That would include being ahead of Luger winning the title on Monday I guess. Savage is NWO and Giant is one of WCW’s main soldiers against him. Savage stalls like the true Memphis man that he is. He gets in and tries to slam Giant which fails of course. Giant works him over with his usual power stuff until Savage heads to the floor.

That goes badly for him as well with Giant picking up the human shield known as Liz and moving her to the other side. Back in Savage takes out the knee and gets Giant down. He wraps the knee around the post and stomps on the knee some more. Double ax gets two but the second attempt is countered into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash but that’s ok for the most part. Giant would move on to feuding with Nash soon after this in one of the stupidest and most pathetic displays I can remember in a long time. Anyway, the match was short enough to keep from getting boring which is more than I can say for the rest of the show.

Giant would get caught up in the shuffle of the NWO civil war and rejoin the NWO again in 1998 to continue a long running feud with Kevin Nash. In the fall he would have a meaningless match with the monster Meng on September 14’s Nitro which is incredibly entertaining.

Giant vs. Meng

Meng slaps Giant back into the corner and kicks at the legs before they get into a brawl with neither guy going anywhere. Meng staggers Giant with a kick right to the face so the strap comes down. Giant hits him again and Meng is all FOREIGN SHOUTING. A headbutt has no effect on Meng and neither does a right hand to the head. Another kick to the face staggers Giant and Meng loads up the Death Grip, but Giant uses his reach advantage to grab the chokeslam as Meng can’t get to his throat. REALLY fun match for two minutes.

Other than a decent match against Diamond Dallas Page at the horrible Starrcade 1998, Giant was off to the WWF under his more famous name of Big Show. His first major match was at Wrestlemania XV against Mankind in a match to determine the guest referee for the main event.

Big Show vs. Mankind

The winner gets to referee the title match tonight. Big Show already cost Mankind the world title on Raw a few weeks ago and Mankind is banged up coming into this. Mankind pounds away to start but is easily sent out to the floor by the power of the giant. Mankind is all cool with a brawl though and he sends Big Show head first into the steps. A DDT is broken up by Show though and the guy in a mask tastes the steps as well.

Back in and Show chops him down before hitting a Russian legsweep for no cover. Mankind gets in a shot and loads up the Claw, only to be sent flying for a second. The Claw goes on but Show headbutts him down with ease. Back to the Claw and a low blow is enough to keep the hold on for a bit.

Despite being in a former world champion’s hold for about a minute straight, Show gets Mankind on his back and crashes down onto Foley to break the hold. Foley’s ribs are messed up bad now and Show stomps away even more. They head to the floor and Show hits him in the ribs with a chair….and that’s not a DQ. Show throws two chairs into the ring and sets them up. He chokeslams Mankind through both chairs and THAT is enough for the DQ.

Rating: D. Yeah this sucked. This would fall into the category of matches that were overbooked to overbook another match. If that doesn’t sum up the Russo Era in a nutshell, I’m not sure what does. The match sucked on top of all that, as it was a very slow power brawl. Foley would take awhile to get back into form but at this point he was just kind of going through the motions.

After forming an on again/off again tag team with Undertaker and winning a few tag titles, it was time for Big Show to turn face again in the fall. At Survivor Series 1999, Steve Austin was run over by a car and replaced in the main event by our big lovable monster.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. ???

The third man is…..shockingly not Test but rather the Big Show. I mentioned Test over and over again tonight because every sign on the planet pointed to him being the guy but they went with Show instead. That’s not to say this is a horrible idea or that it doesn’t make sense because there were no clues or anything beforehand, but it was certainly a surprising pick.

Rock and HHH attack Show to start but to no avail. Show shoulder blocks them down but Rock breaks up a chokeslam on the Game. HHH is defending if that’s not clear. Rock and HHH team up to clothesline Show to the floor but Rock is quickly pulled to the floor. All three guys wind up on the floor with HHH getting dropped on the barricade. Back in and Show misses a splash in the corner and gets caught in a Russian legsweep for no cover.

The People’s Elbow gets one on Show as HHH saves. This is one fall to a finish in case you were wondering. HHH chokes Rock in the corner but Show gets back up and side slams Rock for two. Show kicks HHH to the floor and knocks the Game up the aisle. The fans don’t seem to be sure what to think of Show in this spot but they’re not bored. Rock charges up the aisle to clothesline Show down before going after HHH again.

HHH gets knocked through a production table and Rock is in control. Scratch that theory as Show comes in and beats the tar out of HHH, only to have Rock hit Show with a fire extinguisher. Rock and HHH start heading back to the ring but HHH suplexes him in the aisle. Show is back because the guy can’t be kept down. Show drops HHH on the announce table but Rock drills Show in the head with the bell. Rock and HHH hit a double suplex on Show through the table for the WHOA spot of the match.

Rock and HHH head into the crowd to brawl as this has been a wild fight for the majority of the match so far. Back to the ring and the referee gets clotheslined down by Rock by mistake. The Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered, the latter being countered into a catapult into the buckle. There’s the Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Shane runs out in a referee’s shirt to count two.

Another Rock Bottom hits but Show pulls Shane out of the ring. Rock goes after Show on the floor which goes about as well as you would expect. Actually scratch that as you might expect Rock to beat Show up. Show puts him on the table and goes back into the ring to knock HHH down before going back to beat on Rock some more. Rock gets thrown into the steps and HHH has the belt, only for Shane to take it away. HHH Pedigrees Shane and they’re all back inside again. Here’s DX to go after Big Show and Rock but here’s Vince as well. He knocks HHH out with the belt and a chokeslam makes Show champion.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work that well for me at all. Show has no connection to the feud at all which hurts things a bit, but at the end of the day there was no real flow to the match at all. Show winning is a good pick as it gives some closure to the week for him where his dad died and all that, but his title reign wouldn’t work all that well due to him mainly feuding with Big Boss Man. Still though, decent moment but a bad match.

The title reign would only last for a few months before turning heel (notice a patter here?) for Wrestlemania and his only main event there before Kurt Angle yelled at him for not taking things seriously enough. This led to a hilarious moment at Backlash 2000.

Kurt Angle vs. Big Show

Angle runs down Marian Berry, who is mayor of Washington DC. He’s also a former crackhead. The lack of integrity is what’s wrong with America. That means we need a Real American…..and that’s what we get. Here’s Big Show doing the absolute best Hulk Hogan imitation you’ll EVER see. He’s got a Showster t-shirt with the rips in the back, yellow boots, a bald skull cap with blonde hair down the sides, he does the hand to the ear, rips the shirt and throws it, and does the swinging arms warmup that Hulk did. And then, he talks.

Doing an even better Hogan imitation, he talks about being to the top of the mountain and says dude and brother more times than should be humanly allowed. Angle jumps him but Show HULKS UP almost immediately. Right hand doesn’t work (JR: “The old no sell!”) so Show punches him three times and hits the big boot. LEG DROP gets two and a bigger reaction than anything else so far, which is saying a lot as the fans were going nuts the entire time so far.

Angle goes for the leg and the fans chant for Hogan. Show (who has his goatee dyed too) rips off the cap and hair and destroys Angle in the corner. Chokeslam ends this quick. It’s too short to rate but as a match it was worthless. From an entertainment perspective, this is one of the best and funniest moments you’ll ever see. Check this out as it’s well worth it if you’re a Hogan fan.

Soon after this it was determined that Big Show was WAY overweight and needed to get in shape, so he was sent to OVW and spent the remainder of the year there. One of his biggest feuds was against a muscle headed rookie named Leviathan, who is more famous as Batista. Their first match was at one of OVW’s biggest shows of the year with Leviathan scoring a huge upset. This is the rematch from OVW TV in November.

Big Show vs. Leviathan

The brawl is on while Big Show’s music is still playing with Big Show sending him into the corner for an overhead chop but Leviathan shoves him off. Show comes back with a nice powerbomb but Leviathan LAUNCHES him into the air on the kickout and right onto the referee. A bunch of guys come out to brawl and Big Show kisses Leviathan’s manager Synn. Mark Henry comes in with a chair to Show’s back and the referee rolls over for the pin. More of a historical curiosity than anything else.

Big Show was back on the main roster in early 2001 and would enter the hardcore division for awhile. Like almost everything else that year, it would be swallowed up by the Alliance. After helping get rid of WCW and ECW, Big Show would turn heel to help Ric Flair before joining the short lived NWO. After the group split, Big Show was sent to Smackdown and got a world title shot against Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series 2002.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending here and is mostly a face now. It’s on in a hurry as the fans are behind Lesnar. Show gets in a shot to the ribs in the corner and launches Brock across the ring. Brock is all like BRING IT ON and grabs a double leg to take Show down. They head to the floor and Brock gets rammed into the post. Back in and Brock pounds away before hitting something like a belly to back suplex. Show misses a charge and Brock “hits” a German, which means Show lands on Brock’s head. Brock tries an F5 but Show knees him in the ribs.

The referee gets bumped and Brock THROWS Big Show down with an overhead belly to belly. Heyman throws in a chair and Brock cracks Show over the head with it. There’s the F5 and a new referee but Heyman pulls the referee out of the ring. This makes no sense and I’ll get to why in a second. Lesnar figures out what’s going on and gives chase, but charges right into a pair of chair shots to the ribs. Show chokeslams Brock onto the chair for the pin and the title. That’s Brock’s first ever loss.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for Lesnar’s INSANE power. Here’s why this match ticks me off: Lesnar had to get the title taken off of him because of injury. That’s fine. So they pick BIG SHOW to take it from him? This is the same idea as Nash beating Goldberg: you have an unstoppable monster and you take the title off of him for the sake of this old dude? You have Angle, Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Edge on the Smackdown roster and you pick BIG SHOW? Now to be fair Angle got the title in a month, but why not just cut out the middle man and make a new star?

As for why Heyman’s turn makes no sense, the whole idea of the match was that Heyman didn’t think Lesnar could suplex, F5 or beat Big Show. He did the first two things and had Show beat until Heyman turned. Heyman is a lot of things, but he’s always been someone that knows what kind of a monster he’s got and sticks with them to the end. This is out of character for him, especially when an injured Brock had proven he could beat Show. So on top of being a bad match with bad booking, it makes no sense. Nice job WWE.

The title reign would only last a month before Kurt Angle slayed the giant to take the title. It was soon back to the old stomping grounds of feuding with Undertaker for a few months before back to even older stomping grounds of fighting a small man, in this case Rey Mysterio at Backlash 2003.

Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show

 

Apparently Mysterio embarrassed Show recently. A fan things Big Show loves Cher. Is that an insult? Rey gets Show to chase him which frustrates the giant. Things go exactly as you would expect: Rey fires off some offense, Show uses power, Rey speeds things up again. Backbreaker puts Rey down and Show takes over. Rey gets sent to the floor and gets in a chair shot and seated senton for two. A pair of 619s take Show down and a third staggers Show but he jumps into the chokeslam for the pin.

 

Rating: D. I can’t stand these matches. The one perk here is that Show didn’t look like an idiot for the most part. At the end of the day, without making the giants look stupid in these matches, there’s no real conceivable way to have a competent giant lose these matches. Rey’s offense would have no effect here and for the most part it didn’t. The ending helped it but the rest of it was junk.

Big Show would win the US Title later in the year and never defend it before losing the title to a young phenom named John Cena at Wrestlemania XX. He would miss about five months in the middle of 2004 before coming back to win a feud with Kurt Angle. Next up was another world title chase, culminating in a barbed wire steel cage match against champion John Bradshaw Layfield at No Way Out 2005.

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Big Show

Basic stuff to start as JBL takes Show down with a flying tackle. He goes up but is afraid of the barbed wire. He tries a cross body and guess how well that goes for him. They’re staying away from the wire so far and it’s just a basic match for the most part here. Show is busted open after eating some cage. Bradshaw in full control here.

He rips the tag rope off the corner and chokes away with it. Show hits something like a superkick to put JBL down. Does Cole have Show’s measurements tattooed on the inside of his eyelids? He can snap those things off like they’re nothing. Powerbomb by Show and JBL is in trouble. The fans chant RVD who was hurt at the time.

Cole says the cage is a carnivore. Why do steel structures always have to have lives of their own in this company? Show gets a slingshot (Cole says monkey flip) into the cage. Here’s Jordan to climb the cage. The Bashams cut through part of the cage but Teddy comes out, saying to leave. Jordan manages to slip some bolt cutters to JBL who pops Show with them and adds the Clothesline From JBL for two.

For some reason there’s more or less no reaction for the kickout from the world champion’s finisher. Chokeslam hits for two as well which gets kind of a reaction but nothing huge. Another chokeslam is blocked though as JBL kicks the little Shows and adds a boot to the face. The door is closed and locked and isn’t eligible for escaping.

Bradshaw climbs up and uses the bolt cutters to cut through some of the wire. Show gets up and knocks them out of his hand. JBL is slammed into the cage a few times as the wire has more or less meant jack so far in this match. Show grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him through the ring, prompting a pretty weak holy crap chant.

Show finds a safe spot and climbs down but he’s not sure what to do. Some things never change I guess. Instead Show pulls on the chain and lock which he rips apart with his bare hands. Well why mess with what works? He opens the door and climbs to the floor as JBL is declared the winner and still champion. While Show was wasting all kinds of time, JBL climbed through the hole in the ring and hit the floor first to retain. I love that ending because JBL followed the rules perfectly and Show’s reliance on power cost him.

Rating: D+. I REALLY wasn’t impressed here. If this was a regular cage match then it’s ok I guess but the barbed wire was just stupid. It did a total of nothing other than acting as a deterrent I guess, which a regular cage would have done just as fine or a cage with a top on it. This was a waste of time for the most part and didn’t work that well at all. Weak main event.

The rest of the year was spent in a bunch of worthless feuds until Big Show teamed up with Kane (again) to win the Tag Titles (again) before feuding with Kane (again). Big Show would eventually be drafted to the revived ECW and win its title on July 4, 2006. His first defense was against Ric Flair the following week.

ECW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Big Show

Extreme Rules again. Show throws him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Flair pounding away in the corner. Joey calls this historic. Not exactly the word I’d use but whatever. Show press slams him and Flair is busted open from something. Knowing him it was a stiff breeze. Flair tries chopping him but gets knocked down by one from Show. They head to the floor for another slugout, won by Show.

To keep up the tradition, Flair chops and punches but Show chops him down with one or two shots. Show measures him but Flair hits him low. Keeping with the tradition theme, Flair hits him low a second and third time. Make it four and Show is in trouble. Flair finds a barbed wire ball bat from somewhere and hits Show in the head with it before digging it into Show’s face.

Trashcan shot to the head staggers Show as does a chair to the chest and back. Show goes down but it only gets two. Flair busts out some tacks and knocks Show into them with about five chair shots to the head. That just ticks him off though so he pulls Flair into the chokeslam and a cobra clutch backbreaker. He keeps the clutch on for the knockout win. Show throws Flair into the tacks post match.

Rating: B-. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to. Flair is still a master of making you believe that it could happen, which is what he did here. Also, notice that he puts Show over by making it look like Show shrugged off all that offense and won with ease. That’s hot you make someone look good, which Flair made a career out of.

Big Show would defend the title for the rest of the year before losing it in the Extreme Elimination Chamber in December. He would leave the company for a year before coming back to face boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. at Wrestlemania. After a summer of nothing special, he would turn heel (after turning face earlier in the year) by joining Vickie Guerrero and facing Undertaker at No Mercy 2008.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

JR talks about how Undertaker is like a Sasquatch that has wrapped his arms around us and how Big Show is Cyclopean. He has two eyes. WHAT IS WRONG WITH JIM ROSS??? Sasquatch and Cyclopean? With smoke still in the ring Taker goes right at him but gets hit in the ribs to slow him down. Taker gets knocked to the floor but lands on his feet. They slug it out on the apron and Taker Stuns him on the top rope.

Out to the floor and Show pounds away on the ribs. Show throws him into the barricade and Taker throws him into the post. This is a total war so far. Now Undertaker’s right hands are malignant. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? Legdrop on the apron and they head inside. Taker gets a boot up in the corner but Big Show clotheslines him down. Show slams him down and drops an elbow for two.

Show tries a Vader Bomb elbow but Taker moves to send Show crashing. They slug it out again with Taker punching him into the corner and working over the ribs. Show misses two WMDs so Taker clotheslines him down and drops a leg for two. Taker tries Old School but jumps into a chokeslam for two. WMD (it wasn’t called that back then but you get the idea) misses and they both try chokeslams.

Show wins the battle but Taker pulls him down into a DDT for two. Taker punches him down in the corner but stops to chase the referee, allowing Big Show to expose the buckle. A shot into that and the big punch, a second big punch (this one is pretentious according to JR) and a third one (this one a rabbit punch) makes the referee stop the match.

Rating: B. This was ten minutes long and they beat the tar out of each other the whole time. It’s probably the best Show vs. Undertaker match I’ve ever seen which is quite a selection as I’m sure you know. Good match here and while it didn’t quite get any better after this, it’s a great match from these two which is shocking for me.

He feuded with Cena for about the 58^th time and chased the title for about the 983^rd time before filling in for an injured Edge in a World Tag Team Title match with Chris Jericho at Night of Champions 2009.

UnifiedTagTitles: Legacyvs. ChrisJericho/???

So Edge snapped his ankle and has no partner, meaning anyone that’s paid attention for the past few months knows who this is going to be. We get the video of Edge’s injury saying he’ll come back and take care of Jericho. That’s going to be an awesome feud. And it’s the Big Show. No one got this and the rumor was they picked him seconds before with the video being shown to buy them some more time.

There are cool banners with pictures of the belts hanging from them. It looks sweet. Rhodes and Show start us off. Show just beats the heck out of both guys as you would expect. You could bet on Jerishow retaining here even from the perspective of watching it live. In a nice move, Legacy hits a tandem chop block and clothesline. Not bad at all. Rhodes whispers something into the ear of Jericho but he does it just subtly enough that unless you knew to look for it you wouldn’t notice it. Well done.

Rhodes busts out a nice moonsault to Jericho. He’s underrated in the ring as his offense keeps changing up. The problem with this match becomes apparent quickly: Jericho and Show are the default faces even though they’re supposed to be the heels. We hit insanity mode and Show puts down both guys and after a Codebreaker, the Colossal Clutch ends it.

Rating: C+. It was fine. That’s the only thing I can think of to say for this one. It was designed to be a pure squash for the new champions to get them over and that’s exactly what it did. Rather boring match but it served its purpose very well.

Jericho and Big Show would hold the titles for the better part of five months before losing them to DX at TLC 2009. He would hook up with Miz to win the titles back about two months later and hold them for another two and a half months. After a world title chase went nowhere, it was off to a feud with CM Punk’s Straight Edge Society at Summerslam 2010.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Most of 2011 was a waste of time for Big Show as he teamed up with his on again/off again heterosexual life mate Kane to fight a Nexus knockoff called the Corre. That went nowhere (shocking) so Big Show tried to stop Mark Henry’s Hall of Pain, resulting in a broken leg. Big Show returned a few months later and eventually challenged Henry for the World Heavyweight Championship at TLC 2011.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It’s a chairs match, meaning they’re legal. Show’s singlet is now camo. Show immediately goes to the floor and throws in like ten chairs. Him just casually tossing them about ten feet in the air is scary impressive. They both have chairs now but Henry drops his and gets out. He grabs the title and says this isn’t happening. Show goes after him and ducks a title shot so he can wear Henry out with chair shots.

They start slugging it out and Henry cracks him with a chair. Henry goes after the hand so that Show can’t use his two finishers. Show tries to come back but his hand is worthless. Henry makes a pile of chairs but the Slam is broken up. He goes for a chair shot but Show fires off the big punch. AND IT GETS THE PIN AT 5:35????? REALLY?????

Rating: C. Call me crazy but I liked it. There’s something cool about two guys just going off on each other with chair shots. This worked pretty well for what it was and keeping it short was the right idea. The important thing is coming though so I’m cutting this short.

The important thing would be Daniel Bryan cashing in his Money in the Bank contract. After losing the title, Big Show got this idea that he needed a Wrestlemania moment, despite being in the main event of Wrestlemania 2000. This led to an Intercontinental Title match against Cody Rhodes at Wrestlemania 28.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Cody is defending and the idea here is that Big Show has never had a good Wrestlemania moment. You know, because winning a meaningless midcard title in 2012 is more important than main eventing the show in possibly the biggest and best year the company has ever had. During the entrance we get some “highlights” from Show’s career. Naturally the pin in the 8 man tag last year is never mentioned at all.

Cody runs to the floor to start but Show easily throws him back into the ring. There’s a beal across the ring and a hard chop in the corner, followed by a Stink Face for good measure. Cody comes back with some dropkicks to the knee and pounds away as much as he can. Rhodes pounds on Show’s back a bit and is LAUNCHED off on the kickout. The champion works on the knee a bit with a standing leg lock and a DDT to take it down. After some stomps to Show’s head, he shoves Cody away with ease but gets caught by the Disaster Kick. A second is countered with a spear though and the WMD makes Show the champion.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Cody has nothing that was going to keep Show down and with all the building up of the match about Show’s past embarrassments, there was only one way this could end. That and it’s only about five minutes so it didn’t have enough time to suck or anything. Not great but it was exactly what it was expect to be.

We’ll wrap things up with what might be Big Show’s last good match to date, from Hell in a Cell 2012.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is defending. Show throws him around to start and Sheamus tries to brawl with him. That results in the champion being knocked down into the corner and Show is in command. Ziggler is watching with the case in the back. Sheamus knocks Show to the floor and as the challenger gets back in, Sheamus fires away with all he’s got. It does a bit of damage but Show shrugs it off and knocks Sheamus to the floor again.

We head to the floor with Show throwing Sheamus into the barricade. Back in and Show keeps pounding on Sheamus very slowly. He steps on Sheamus’ head and knocks the champ to the floor before sending him over the announce table. This has been almost all Show so far and Sheamus is looking like a ragdoll. Back in and Show hits the Eye of the Hurricane for two. I think he used to call that the Final Cut. Sheamus tries to fight back with some punches to the ribs but Show throws him over the top to the floor.

As Sheamus comes back in, he hits the slingshot shoulder but charges right into a superkick for two. Show knocks him down again with Sheamus only being able to get in some punches before charging into a bearhug. Show gets on his knee instead of picking Sheamus up, allowing Sheamus to hit some forearms. A slam doesn’t work at all and the Vader Bomb Elbow gets two for Show. He calls for the chokeslam but Sheamus counters into a DDT but the kickout sends Sheamus out to the floor.

Sheamus tries the ten forearms in the corner but Show shoves him off. The chokeslam hits but it only gets two. Show is getting ticked off now but he can’t hook the Colossal Clutch. Sheamus avoids an elbow and tries the Cloverleaf of all things but Show kicks him off. They head to the floor and Sheamus drives Show into the post a few times. Back in and Sheamus goes after the knee before hitting some ax handles to take Show down.

Sheamus hits White Noise and does it with EASE. That looked better than a lot of the AA’s Cena hits on Show. That only gets two and Sheamus charges into the WMD…..for two. Show tries another punch but Sheamus kicks Show’s head off…..FOR TWO. This is getting AWESOME. Sheamus gets WAY fires up but the Brogue Kick charges into the WMD for the pin and the title at 21:37.

Rating: B+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: a heavyweight slugfest with Sheamus pounding away with everything he had but it just wasn’t enough. I would initially say that Show winning the title was a bad thing but the way they were going with the feud it was probably the best idea. This was a great match though and WAY better than I was expecting. The kickouts were great and the match worked really well. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but match of the night so far.

After losing the title to Alberto Del Rio in January, Show would go on to feud with the Shield and then get into a story with HHH and the Authority/Randy Orton which would be some of the stupidest stuff I’ve seen in years.

Big Show is a guy that had a ton of talent but has become VERY repetitive over the years. I can’t count how many times he’s become the big evil monster then turned back into the fun loving giant and gotten a small guy or a giant as a tag partner before starting the whole thing over again. At the end of the day, he’s turned so many times over the years that it’s hard to care about almost anything he does. Stick him in matches like the one with Sheamus where he can have someone fight him down in a big brawl and let it be entertaining for awhile and that’s it. Back in 1996 the guy was slim and insanely athletic but then he just relied on his size and nothing else.

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Smackdown
Date: February 14, 2014
Location: Citizens Bank Business Arena, Ontario, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s Valentines Day and we’re getting a nice gift in the form of Cesaro (now minus the Antonio) vs. Randy Orton in the fourth part of Orton’s Elimination Chamber gauntlet. Cesaro is rapidly gaining popularity and it would seem a face turn is imminent. Other than that we might get more on the Daniel Bryan vs. Kane feud. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Shield vs. Daniel Bryan/Christian/Sheamus

Christian and Rollins get things going but Seth quickly takes him into the corner for the tag off to Reigns. Roman catches a cross body attempt but gets popped in the face with a right hand. Sheamus comes in for the big power showdown and they slug it out for a bit before Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry for two. Reigns comes back with a knee to the ribs and brings in Ambrose who gets taken down by a running ax handle.

The fans demand Bryan and get their wish, followed by some rapid fire kicks in the corner. A top rope hurricanrana gets two and there’s the YES Lock but Shield comes in for the save and we have a standoff. Back from a break with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock and sending Rollins into the top turnbuckle, allowing him to tag off to Sheamus.

The pale one slides to the apron and comes back with the ten forearms to the chest but the other Shield members get involved to take over. Reigns does that awesome dropkick from the floor to the apron before LAUNCHING Sheamus into the barricade. That’s not something you see too often. Ambrose comes back in to stomp away in the corner before it’s off to Reigns again for hard shots to the head and ribs.

We hit the front facelock for a bit but Reigns lets it go to knock Bryan off the apron but walks into the Irish Curse. Rollins comes in and takes a swing at Christian but only hits air before missing a backsplash to Sheamus. Hot tag brings in Christian to face Ambrose and a tornado DDT gets two on the US Champion.

Everything breaks down and Bryan takes out Reigns with the FLYING GOAT. Rollins takes him down with a suicide dive of his own though and it’s Christian hooking the reverse DDT for two on Dean but the Brogue Kick misses Ambrose and takes out Christian. Reigns spears Sheamus down and Ambrose pins Christian at 12:45.

Rating: C+. This was more about the good guys building drama amongst themselves before they head into the Chamber in a little over a week. There weren’t any problems for Shield this time which is a good thing before their big six man tag. This was the usual Shield six man so it was fine all around.

Zeb Colter asks Vickie Guerrero to be his valentine but she’s not falling for it. Colter wants an Intercontinental Title shot for Jack Swagger but Vickie says he has to beat Rey Mysterio. That’s fine with Zeb but Vickie makes it a fourway with Kofi Kingston and Mark Henry filling the other spots. Vickie shoves the chocolates into Zeb’s chest, meaning she’s a face now?

Cesaro (officially without the Antonio) says he’ll win tonight and then take the title at Elimination Chamber.

Lita Hall of Fame video.

Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Big E. (on commentary) for the Intercontinental Title at Elimination Chamber. Henry quickly throws Swagger to the floor but gets taken down by Kofi and Rey. The two speed guys get to have a showdown with Rey dropkicking Kofi for two but they have to eliminate Swagger again. Kofi dives over the top to put Jack down again and Rey hits a running seated senton from the apron. Henry is back in and loads up a dive of his own, only to have Swagger take out his leg.

Two straight Vader Bombs have Henry in trouble but Jack has to clothesline Rey down for two. Mysterio comes back with a top rope seated senton for two followed by the sitout bulldog for two more with Kofi making the save. Rey is sent into the post before Kofi bounce up the ropes and dropkicks Swagger down before hitting the Boom Drop. Rey gets knocked off the apron again and Swagger loads up Kingston in a superplex. Henry tries to make it a Tower of Doom but Kofi holds on, meaning it’s only a powerbomb to Swagger.

Henry cleans house but Swagger takes out the leg again and puts on the Patriot Lock, only to have Mark kick him off. Rey hits a 619 to Mark’s ribs and Kofi adds Trouble in Paradise but Jack is on his feet again. Kofi grabs a German suplex on Rey but Jack suplexes both of them at once in a nice power display. Kingston is sent to the floor but slides back in to break up a 619 attempt. Henry makes the save but gets kicked to the floor by Kofi. The distraction lets Swagger catch Kofi in the Patriot Lock for the submission at 8:35.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with everyone doing their job perfectly. I didn’t see the Mysterio knee injury but I’d guess it was on the seated senton from the apron as he went off camera for a few minutes as a result. Swagger getting the shot is a good enough choice as he was the only heel here and Henry vs. Big E. does nothing for me.

Raw ReBound covers Betty White and the Outlaws.

Bad News Barrett says American women are going to gain several pounds by tomorrow morning and be ashamed of what they see in the morning. Is there a point to this character coming anytime soon?

Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel/New Age Outlaws

Billy and Goldust get things going with Gunn taking an atomic drop and the uppercut for a quick two. Off to Road Dogg vs. Cody with the sunset flip out of the corner getting two on Roadie. A clothesline gets the same and it’s off to an armbar from Rhodes. Jimmy comes in off the tag to stay on the arm and a double elbow gets two for the twins. Road Dogg takes Jey into the corner and it’s off to Axel for a dropkick. Ryback comes in for some driving shoulders in the corner and a hard slam as we take a break.

Back with Ryback elbowing Jey in the face and handing it off to Billy again. The Stinger Splash hits buckle and a double tag brings in Road Dogg and Jimmy. Everything breaks down with Jimmy cleaning house and hitting the running Umaga attack in the corner. Cody dives over the top to take out Axel but Ryback throws him into the barricade, only to walk into a Golden cannonball off the apron. A double superkick drops Road Dogg, Jey dives on the other heels and Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C-. This did its job but wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Most importantly of all though it gets us closer to the Usos getting their Tag Titles which they earned about two years ago. Ryback and Axel have nowhere to go at this point and I have no idea what’s next for Goldust and Cody. The tag division has a lot of names in it right now but it’s not a very deep talent pool.

Randy Orton says this gauntlet is just to make him better and all that matters is him being champion. Tonight, Cesaro gets the Viper.

Lana says Alexander Rusev isn’t coming to make friends.

Darren Young vs. Damien Sandow

Titus O’Neil is on commentary. Young catches Sandow in a quick atomic drop and clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and Damien gets a knee to Darren’s ribs but You’re Welcome is countered into a rollup for the pin by Young at 1:07. So much for rebuilding Sandow.

Titus goes after Darren post match but Young rips his pants off. I’ll let you make your own jokes.

The Bellas show us how to use the WWE Network.

Fandango vs. The Miz

Miz dropkicks the knee out to start and rains down left hands in the corner but Fandango comes back with an atomic drop. A nice dropkick gets two and we hit the chinlock on Miz. It’s quickly broken and Miz fights back with some basic stuff and the Reality Check but gets kicked shoulder first into the post. This brings out Santino and Emma for a distraction and a cat fight between Emma and Summer. Distraction, Skull Crushing Finale, pin on Fandango at 3:47.

Rating: D. At least it was the better finisher. I’m not sure how I’d react if we got through a week of shows without the distraction finish. Santino and Emma are a decent enough cute pair but Emma is going to have to get away from him if she wants to get over. Santino is going to overshadow whoever he’s with due to how over the top he is and there’s not much of a way around that.

Bobo Brazil video.

Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

In the sitdown interview of the week, HHH said he thinks Cesaro might be the wildcard in the Chamber. Cesaro chases Orton to the floor to start but doesn’t go after him. They do the same thing again before Cesaro takes him to the mat and hits the gutwrench for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two more and they both head outside. Orton reverses a whip into the barricade and clotheslines Cesar as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Cesaro into the announce table and taking him inside for a chinlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE and Cesaro fights out, only to lose a fist fight and get elbowed to the mat. Cesaro rolls outside and catches Orton with a big clothesline of his own and counters the Elevated DDT into the Swing. Randy can barely get to his feet but is able to backdrop out of the Neutralizer. Cesaro lands on his feet but runs into the powerslam for two.

Now the Elevated DDT connects and Orton points to the sign to make this serious. He spends too much time walking around though and it’s Swiss Death for two. They head to the corner where Orton tries a superplex but Cesaro counters into a sunset bomb. A discus uppercut sets up the Neutralizer for the completely clean pin at 12:44.

Rating: B-. Well you can’t give much more of a rub than that. However I’d be much happier with this if Kofi Kingston hadn’t gotten the same kind of a win just a month ago. Cesaro is a guy that could be world championship material with a good push (meaning getting away from Swagger) but I have a feeling this is just for the Chamber and then it’s back to nothing for not-Antonio.

Cesaro waves to Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good Smackdown tonight with some nice action and angle advancement which is all you can ask for anymore. Unfortunately I don’t think tonight is going to mean much. Cesaro isn’t winning the title and while Sheamus and Christian had some problems, I can’t imagine it’s anyone but Orton, Bryan or maybe Cena walking out of the Chamber with the title. Randy has to be the favorite even though he’s lost three out of his last five matches and might even lose to Sheamus on Monday, making him look like a lame duck champion heading into Wrestlemania.

The rest of the show was good stuff with a nice six man, a good four way, a watchable eight man and a short Miz match that involved good looking women fighting. That’s not bad at all when you consider what Smackdown means in the grand scheme of things anymore. Cesaro winning made me smile, but I can’t imagine it’s anymore more than false hope.

One more note: the spoilers I read said there was an Eva Marie vs. Alicia Fox match taped with Eva winning via rollup but there was no sign of it at all here.

Results

Shield b. Christian/Sheamus/Daniel Bryan – Ambrose pinned Christian after a Brogue Kick from Sheamus

The Miz b. Fandango – Skull Crushing Finale

Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio and Mark Henry – Patriot Lock to Kingston

Usos/Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. New Age Outlaws/Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Road Dogg

Darren Young b. Damien Sandow – Rollup

Cesaro b. Randy Orton – Neutralizer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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There isn’t a great selection today but since he debuted a new gimmick on Impact, here’s Jeff Hardy.

While he’s better known as a tag wrestler, Jeff had a few quick appearances as a jobber back in the mid 90s. From June 6, 1994 on Raw, when Hardy was just 16 years old.

Razor Ramon vs. Keith Davis

Razor hits a HARD chop to the chest and throws Davis around before catching him in the fallaway slam. Off to an abdominal stretch as Vince and Savage talk about the second class of the WWF Hall of Fame. Savage says welcome to the big leagues as Razor toys with Davis. The announcers ignore the match to preview the King of the Ring and it’s a belly to back superplex and the Razor’s Edge for the pin.

Rating: D. Total and complete squash as Jeff looked to be even younger than his sixteen years. He literally had no offense and there was nothing to the match but it’s always interesting to see something like this. Who would have thought these two would fight on PPV ten years later?

That was really just a quick appearance before Jeff would move to the independents, including his own promotion known as OMEGA. He and his brother Matt would form a tag team known as the Hardy Boys who would eventually catch the WWF’s eye and be brought in full time in 1998. Their first year didn’t do much but they would beat the Acolytes in a fluke for their first World Tag Team Titles. The reign wouldn’t last long but they would soon

Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys

They’re the New Brood here but you get the idea. The winner gets $100,000 and Terri. This is the night where these four broke through to the other side and changed the company for more or less ever. Keep in mind, none of the spots you’re about to see have ever been seen in the company before so this is all new stuff. What you have here is four guys being told to go out there and just do it. I’ve long since thought this WWF’s answer to the cruiserweights.

This is the Terri Invitational Tournament. Spell it out for yourselves. We start on the floor and this should be awesome. It’s a fight to get to the ladders. I’ve never gotten why you need to get to the ladder first. It’s not like that means you win or anything. I remember in War Games 2000 in WCW you had to get the belt down and leave with it. Kevin Nash just stood at the door. He didn’t have to do anything but leave with the belt, so why risk getting hurt to go up there and get it?

Let someone else do the work. First ladder is brought in and down goes Edge. The reactions to this are great. The fans are gasping at every spot which is what you want: to get the crowd excited. We’ve been in this match maybe four minutes and it’s already way ahead of the rest of the show. Oh Gangrel was thrown out. Swanton to Edge onto a ladder. Looking back this isn’t that great by comparison but it’s still very fun.

You have to keep in mind that there is nothing to compare it to at the moment. This is the first multi-man ladder match so this is just mind blowing. Also it’s the first time that there isn’t a big man like Ramon in there. These guys are designed for matches like this and it’s working really well. Edge is almost there and Matt just chucks a ladder at him. That was cool.

Matt’s crotch gets crushed. You know, it occurs to me that in storyline, Matt and Edge dated Lita, in the Christian/Jericho and Lita/Trish angle it was Christian and Lita and Jeff and Lita had a small thing once Matt was gone. Dang that girl gets around. Everyone is down now as Christian takes a Twist of Fate. Second ladder is set up. Jeff takes a Downward Spiral from the ladder.

The great thing about a ladder is that while most of the spots are from about the level of the second rope, having a ladder involved makes it seem cooler. The see-saw spot debuts and Christian and Matt get slammed in the face with it. These things never get old. The look on Edge’s face with him laying on his back with his eyes open is great. All four go up at once and all four come down with all four landing on the ropes.

Crowd is going nuts mind you. The roof camera view is pretty awesome actually. Edge climbs one ladder, Christian and Jeff climb another. Matt slams the ladder with two guys into the other ladder so Edge falls. Jeff jumps from one ladder to the other and knocks Edge off to grab the money. SWEET ENDING.

Rating: A. Just yes. This is the reason to see this PPV. This match just changed the WWF forever as they set the standard for awesome matches with ladders. The fans ate this up like no other and it still definitely holds up today. Just a great match. start the feud that would establish them as one of the best teams in the world. They would enter a series of matches with Edge and Christian known as the Terri Invitational Tournament, culminating in the first ever tag team ladder match at No Mercy 1999.

Later in 1999 a new team debuted who were obsessed with tables. The Hardy Boys would face this new team known as the Dudley Boys in a tag team tables match at Royal Rumble 2000.

Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

I believe match #1 or #2 in a series of roughly 8000 and it’s an elimination tables match. Bubba praises John Rocker of the Braves who had recently gone on a massive anti-New York rant in Sports Illustrated. The Hardys hit the ring and the match starts fast with Bubba hitting the Bubba Bomb on Jeff. No tags here thank goodness. Bubba sets up a table in the ring but before he can get another one, Jeff takes him out with a HUGE flip dive.

Jeff gets sent into the steps as Matt escapes a powerbomb through the table. D-Von suplexes Matt as Jeff CRACKS Bubba in the head with a chair. In a SICK spot, Jeff tries to run the railing but Bubba throws the table at Jeff, knocking him out of the air. That sounded GREAT. The pairings trade off and Bubba loads up the backsplash through the table, only for Jeff to come back and try a double superplex. D-Von moves the table but doesn’t stop the suplex.

Matt brings in a ladder because this might as well be a TLC style match. We head to the floor where the ladder is set up in front of a table with Bubba on it. Matt dives through Bubba through the table just as Jeff dives in from off camera with a splash, sending Bubba through the table in another awesome looking spot. So it’s 2-1 now with Jeff leaning a table up against the barricade. The steps are set up on their end and a table is set up like a bridge between the steps and the apron.

D-Von is placed on the bridged table but moves before Matt dives through him. He moves AGAIN to avoid a diving Jeff, sending him through the leaning table. Cool sequence there by Ninja D-Von. Apparently Bubba doesn’t have to leave. Ok that makes things more interesting. The Dudleys set up two steps in the ring and put a table across them before hitting a HUGE powerbomb on Matt to eliminate (in a sense) him. The tables are LOUD tonight too. Jeff gets beaten into the aisle but Matt quickly follows, only to get WHACKED in the head with a chair.

The Dudleys stack up four tables in front of the entrance (it’s the MSG setup where the entrance is opposite the cameras). Matt gets put on the tables and Jeff is CRACKED in the head again to break up the save attempt. Bubba climbs onto the taxi over the aisle to splash Matt, but remember that wouldn’t win the match. Jeff climbs up after him (I’m not sure where D-Von went) and blasts him with a chair, knocking him through two of the tables (still doesn’t win). Matt puts D-Von on the table and Jeff dives off the taxi with the Swanton through D-Von through the table for the win.

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME with all four guys being young and hungry here. The Dudleys were out to prove themselves and the Hardys were out to show they could hang in a fight. They had already proven they could fight in a violent match like the ladder match, but this was a brawl instead of a high flying match. REALLY fun stuff here though and well worth a look if you haven’t seen it. The Dudleys would get the titles next month, setting up the first triangle ladder match at Mania.

The three teams would eventually combine into one of the most famous matches of all time at Wrestlemania X7: Tables Ladders and Chairs II.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are the champions coming in. There’s no story to it, but was there ever to one of these things? Edge and Christian get double teamed to start and the Dudleyz hit a double flapjack on Christian. Both sets of Boys fight in the corner with Jeff hitting Poetry in Motion on both at once. Cue Edge and Christian again with the ladder before Edge brings in a chair. The Canadians put Matt in the Tree of Woe and stand on his crotch. No wonder Lita left him for Edge.

Edge stats to climb but Matt makes the stop and goes up himself. That goes badly for him of course as Edge uses the chair as a stepping stone to take Matt down with a clothesline. Jeff dropkicks Edge off the ladder before joining with his brother to dropkick a ladder into the Dudleys’ faces. There are two ladders in the ring now in opposite corners. Christian is slammed down and hit with a stereo splash/legdrop from the Hardys. The Dudleys are back in now and there’s What’s Up.

It’s Table Time with Edge being placed on the first one, but Jeff tries a hurricanrana to Bubba, only to be powerbombed through Edge through the table. This is nonstop action so far. The Dudleys set up four tables at ringside as Paul tells us of Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Currently there’s a table in the corner and three ladders in the ring. Bubba picks up a ladder and CRACKS Matt in the head with it before setting it up next to the other two. All three are set up in a row in the middle of the ring so here’s a six way climb.

Matt and Christian go flying first with Matt landing on the ropes and Christian falling all the way to the floor. Jeff and D-Von fall into the opposite ropes and Edge and Bubba fall backwards, to put all six guys down. Edge is the only one halfway standing and Christian sets up a table on the floor. Bubba dumps a ladder to the floor to clear the ring out a bit as Spike Dudley, Bubba and D-Von’s cousin, runs in. He hits Edge low and puts Christian through a table with the Dudley Dog off the apron.

Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno runs in and destroys everyone in sight before sending Edge up the ladder to get the belts. Cue Lita to jerk Edge off. The ladder. Anyway with the thong sticking WAY out, Rhyno picks her up but gets hit low by Spike. Lita goes up for a rana on Rhyno and Spike cracks him in the head with a chair, sending Rhyno into the ladder, knocking Edge into the ropes. A Doomsday Device puts Rhyno down again but Lita CRACKS Spike in the head with a chair. She then takes off her top, giving us the biggest pop of the night. Not that it matters as she walks into a 3D and is now done for the match.

The Canadians come back in with chairs to take the champions out before Christian brings out the huge ladder. It’s on the floor but it’s still taller than the ones in the ring. Jeff, ever the crazy man, goes ALL THE WAY to the top and hits a Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno (read as Rhyno barely gets hit and Spike takes every bit of it). The super ladder is set up in the ring now and it’s a race between D-Von and Christian. Matt moves the ladder away, leaving both guys hanging from the cord holding the belts.

Both guys fall down, but Jeff gets up on a regular ladder and tries to walk on the other small ladders like a tightrope. Jeff loses his balance though and has to hang from the cord as well. Bubba grabs the ladder and walks away with it while Jeff’s feet are still in it, pulling Jeff’s body back. The feet pull away and Jeff swings forward, right into a spear from Edge off the super ladder, drawing a BIG gasp from the crowd. That’s the spot that made everyone realize Edge was going to be something VERY special.

Matt and Bubba go up on the super ladder, but Rhyno shoves it over, sending them crashing through the four tables at ringside. D-Von goes up now but Edge grabs his feet, allowing Rhyno to give Christian enough of a boost to beat D-Von to the top and get the titles, finally ending this carnage.

Rating: A+. If you’re looking for pure insanity and non-stop violence, this is the pinnacle of the genre. These nine people went for over fifteen minutes and never once stopped beating on each other. The spots are insane and the big spots still have you in awe. This match holds up incredibly well and is just as impressive as it was twelve years ago. Absolute masterpiece that blows away every MITB match that I can remember.

The rest of 2001 wasn’t much for the Hardys as the Invasion sucked up the entire company. The team spent most of the year feuding with the Dudleys to less fanfare every time. Jeff would spend the first half of 2002 treading water before saying he was tired of just talking about living life. His great idea: challenging the Undertaker to a ladder match for the Undisputed Title on July 1, 2002.

Undisputed WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker

So the idea here is that Jeff has been destroyed by Taker every time they’ve fought but Taker has never been in a ladder match so Jeff should have a chance. Taker goes for the ladder but gets it kicked into his face. Jeff gets a chair shot in but Taker catches the ladder shot from Jeff. They haven’t been in the ring together yet. Taker hammers on Jeff for awhile but gets sent into a ladder to slow things down.

Jeff launches himself at the ladder with Taker under it, probably hurting himself even worse. They get into the ring and Jeff is down again. Taker gets a big shot with the ladder to knock Jeff into the table. He has the match won but instead Taker climbs down and pounds on Jeff even more. This is SO slow. Jeff tries to fire in some shots and goes off on Taker but a single punch slows him down.

Taker hits a running clothesline in the corner. This is the least interesting ladder match I’ve ever seen. Taker misses a charge in the corner and slams into the ladder….but is back on offense about 4 seconds later. Whisper in the Wind takes Taker down but the champ is back up and hitting a big boot before Jeff gets in another shot. A low blow puts Taker down as does a flip dive to the floor.

Jeff gets the big ladder but Taker stops him with a Last Ride attempt. The WORST RANA EVER sends Taker to the floor as a counter and Jeff climbs. He touches the gold but Taker makes the save. Taker goes for the Last Ride again but Jeff cracks him with a chair twice and climbs very slowly. And never mind as Undertaker cracks him with the chair and “chokeslams” (more like choke-shoves) him off to retain.

Rating: D. I remember this a lot more fondly than it was here. The ending is good and is some decent drama, but the rest of it is just SO slow and uninteresting. Jeff never had a chance but Taker did nothing but punch the rest of the time and that doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Very weak match but a good ending.

Jeff gets back up so Taker goes back in and hits a Last Ride. Taker rides off but Jeff gets the mic and says he’s still standing. Taker comes back to hit him but stops and raises Jeff’s hand, supposedly turning face in the process. I don’t remember that coming for a few more weeks but allegedly it was here.

 

Jeff would leave WWE in spring of 2003 citing burnout and spend time on the independent scene before debuting in TNA in June 2004. He would main event their first pay per view against Jeff Jarrett and would be in the co-main event of their second pay per view, Turning Point 2004, in a six man tag with AJ Styles and Randy Savage against Scott Hall, Jeff Jarrett and Kevin Nash.

Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles/Randy Savage vs. Kings of Wrestling

Savage was kidnapped remember. The Kings come out to Elvis impersonator music and Elvis suits. AJ looks like he’s about 19 here. Jarrett is world champion. Hall looks almost human. AJ and Jarrett start us off. Bah I can’t say Jeff in this. AJ and the champ see who can get the bigger reactions from the crowd then do some technical stuff. A headscissors takes Jarrett down and a dropkick takes him down again.

Off to Hall. He and Nash are wrestling in those Elvis suits. Give me a break. Hall works on the arm so AJ takes the knees out to control. He wants Nash so Hall spits at him and makes the tag. AJ uses the speed again and dropkicks all three Kings down. Hardy is tagged in and dropkicks Hall and Jarrett down as things speed up. Slingshot dropkick by Hardy has Nash in trouble.

Nash gets in a big boot and Hardy is in trouble. Here’s the champ who beat Hardy last month at Victory Road. I always thought that was two or three months before this show. Jarrett hot shots him on the top rope and it’s time to strut. Back to Hall for a discus punch and chokeslam for two. Nash comes in for a sideslam which gets two also. Back to Hall who hooks the abdominal stretch. Nothing but trademark stuff from the Outsiders.

Hall hooks a modified STF but pulls on the hair instead of the neck. That has to hurt. Hardy gets his mule kick (catching Hall squarely in the hand) which is enough for the tag to AJ. Things speed up again and AJ cleans house. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two. Styles Clash to Jarrett is avoided and Nash breaks up the springboard forearm. Fallaway slam for two as we’re just waiting on Savage to make the big miracle appearance.

Nash hits the framed elbow (complete with Karate Elvis Action!) for two. Back to Jarrett and they work over the ribs which the Outsiders started on. Naturally this leads to the Figure Four LEG Lock but AJ rolls him up for two. Hall breaks up the tag and Nash hooks a bearhug. See, THAT makes sense. AJ makes the unseen tag and it’s back to Jarrett. They slug it out and both hit cross bodies to put them down.

AJ finally makes the tag to Hardy and house is cleaned. Stroke is countered into a Twist of Stunner and AJ adds a springboard cross body to Hall. Nash takes out the referee though as the numbers are catching up with them. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Hall hits him with the guitar. Hardy falls forward onto Jarrett for the Swanton anyway but there’s no referee. Here’s Savage with a big old bald spot as is his custom. Naturally with everyone down he wants a tag and fires off right hands. All three of the Kings get caught in sleepers for some reason. Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Savage falls on him for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the ending was HORRIBLE (again). Savage might have been out there 90 seconds. He would be gone the next day because he proposed a one month title reign for himself and said he’d drop it back to Jarrett the next month but it was vetoed. That’s his last match, which is a sad note to go out on.

 

Hardy wouldn’t do much in 2005 due to being suspended for the summer due to missing a scheduled appearance. He would be suspended again in December and not appear on TNA TV again. In August he would return to WWE and receive an Intercontinental Title shot on October 2, 2006 on Raw.

I

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Jeff Hardy

Nitro is defending. JR gives us a factoid about Melina: she likes three way sex. Well you can’t say he beats around the…..never mind. Nitro controls to start but Jeff comes back with a quick Twist attempt. Melina tries to distract Jeff but only gets him to dive on Johnny as we take a break. Back with Nitro holding a reverse chinlock. During the break the slingshot dropkick from Hardy missed to give the champion control.

Jeff fights up but misses the Whisper in the Wind. Nitro stomps away in the corner and Jeff hits the post. Dang Melina can scream. Off to a surfboard submission and Jeff is in trouble. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and then a second one as Nitro is in some trouble very quickly. Whisper in the Wind gets two and Nitro heads to the floor. A baseball slide sets up the railing run and Melina gets taken out too. They both go up, resulting in Jeff backdropping him off the top and hitting the Swanton for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here as both guys were still young and fast. It was clear that Jeff was going to be the bigger deal than his brother and that Nitro was going to be a decent sized star himself and this was a good example of that. Nothing great here but a title change is always cool to see.

2007 wasn’t much of a year for Jeff as a singles guy as he would hang around the midcard before reforming the Hardy Boys for a reunion tour and another Tag Team Title reign. Later in the year, Hardy would be the one of the last man remaining on a Survivor Series team along with HHH, leading to a match with HHH at Armageddon. Hardy would shock the world by pinning HHH, setting up a World Title match at Royal Rumble 2008. The show did one of the highest buyrates in the history of the event and almost all of the credit was given to Hardy.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking over via a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop gets two but Orton hits him in the face and brags to the crowd about it. Orton gets sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Hardy follows with a plancha to the floor as JR SCREAMS to get Orton back in the ring. Randy tries to walk out with the belt but Hardy will have none of that. Orton is rammed into the announce table and back inside we go.

As Hardy tries a springboard, Orton dropkicks him right back to the floor in a big crash. There’s the Orton Stomp and some choking as Orton shows off his wide range of offense. This is before Orton was orange so the visuals aren’t all that bad. A pair of knee drops get two on Hardy as Orton asks the fans if they believe in Jeff still. Hardy sends Orton over the top to the floor, followed by a bad clothesline off the apron (it hit Orton’s arm and completely missed his neck and chest).

Back in again and Jeff misses a charge into the post, giving Orton both a two count and control again. Randy hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors followed by a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock (yep it’s an Orton match) to fill in some time. Jeff fights up again and takes Randy down with a clothesline but can’t follow up. Jeff starts striking with everything he’s got and hits the Whisper in the Wind to fire up the crowd even more.

That’s one thing I haven’t talked about enough here: the fans are WAY behind Hardy here. It isn’t the usual New York reaction to a face. They want Jeff to win the title NOW. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner but before he can hit the Swanton, Randy bails to the floor. Jeff is cool with that and hits (kind of at least) a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Jeff loads up the Twist but Orton counters into the RKO out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. That’s a really bad finish for a few reasons. First of all, it’s WAY too sudden. If they were shooting at punching the audience in the stomach I guess they accomplished that, but it doesn’t do much else. Hardy winning was an option, but at the end of the day they made the right move here….I think. I was disappointed Hardy won, but thankfully WWE stretched it out for a LONG time before he got the title, which was the right move at the end of the day.

The chase would continue all year with Hardy getting closer and closer every single time, leading up to a triple threat match against new champion Edge and HHH at Armageddon 2008.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

Solid heat on Edge and a solid gut also. Jeff goes straight for Edge as JR can’t remember if Jeff got attacked in Baltimore or Boston. Basic opening so far with Jeff driving the action. He sends Edge and HHH to the floor and dives on the Canadian. Trips takes his head off though so it’s Edge vs. HHH in the ring now. How was that never the main event of a bigger show than Great American Bash?

Jumping knee to the face puts Edge down as does a neckbreaker. Edge’s bad luck continues as he gets caught in a facebuster. Jeff back in now and he gets a facebuster for Christmas also. HHH tries the Pedigree to Edge but Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind. The Game is down and Jeff gets crotched on the top. HHH comes in to get Edge and it’s a Doomsday Device with Jeff hitting a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline. Edge’s bump is SCARY here as he lands on the back of his head.

Pedigree to Jeff is countered again and he goes into the buckle. Slingshot dropkick hits HHH but the Edge-O-Matic takes Jeff down for two. HHH’s bad luck continues in the form of a spear. Twist of Fate and Swanton hit HHH but Edge makes a last second save. Everybody goes to the floor and HHH is mostly dead.

Edge gets whipped around a lot and Jeff loads up the announce table. HHH pops up again and sends Edge onto the table but not through it. Jeff escapes a Pedigree and gets killed with a spear through the third table. Edge vs. HHH in the ring with the Canadian hitting an Edgecution for no cover. Spear is countered into the spinebuster and there’s the Pedigree.

Kozlov of all people pops up and breaks up the pin before beating on HHH. Matt Hardy comes out to get rid of Kozlov. Jeff goes up but Kozlov shoves him away before the Swanton can hit. Matt and Vlad go up the aisle and only Edge is in the ring. HHH comes back in but walks into a spear for two. A frustrated Edge goes to the floor and sets for a Conchairto.

Jeff grabs a chair and BLASTS Edge with it. He wants the Swanton but HHH crotches him. That was a sick, sick chair shot and it was only with one hand. HHH grabs the Pedigree in the corner but Jeff dives off the top with the Swanton to HHH and covers Edge for the pin and his first world title. The roof blows off the place and with good reason. The LD exploded and I did too, since I slept through the original broadcast of this and the first thing I saw was Jeff diving onto HHH.

Rating: B. Solid match all around here but the point here was for the ending. That Swanton and the reaction from the crowd was excellent. The whole thing worked perfectly and the match was good. Not sure why they had Kozlov and Matt in there but it wasn’t a big issue. The right man won here and that’s all that matters.

The last five minutes of this are spent on a huge celebration by Jeff. Totally awesome moment for one simple reason: this has been a year in the making and Jeff felt like he finally earned it. This could have been in the main event of Wrestlemania but the shock of it was a great bonus perk. I’m not a Hardy fan but this is still awesome on every possible level.

 

The title reign would end in his first defense when Matt Hardy would turn on his brother, revealing that he had been the source of several accidents that had befallen Jeff recently. Matt would win the first match at Wrestlemania but the two would meet again at Backlash 2009.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I Quit rules remember. Jeff goes off on him in the corner and hits a seated dropkick to send Matt to the floor. Jeff hits a dive and the referee asks if they want to quit. Yeah they’ll quit a minute into the match, sure. With a running start, Jeff hits Poetry in Motion off the steps. Back in and Jeff hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. A middle rope legdrop hits Matt and it’s off to a chinlock. The lack of covers is always a bit hard to get used to in these matches.

Matt rams him into the buckle to break the hold but can’t do much to follow up. Jeff goes up but gets shoved to the floor in a great crash. Matt wraps Jeff’s leg around the post and we get the first ask with the mic. Jeff says no both times so Matt bends the knee around the post. Matt puts on a figure four and Jeff still won’t quit. Jerry thinks Matt is going after the knee. You can’t buy this kind of analysis people!

Jeff escapes but gets put right back in it again. That doesn’t work so Matt hooks a seated half crab but Jeff still won’t quit. Matt puts him in the Tree of Woe and bends Jeff’s head back but Jeff won’t quit. Instead of holding him there longer, Matt rants and probably posts a YouTube video about it. He puts Jeff on top but his belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody.

Jeff hooks a standing Texas Cloverleaf and Matt taps but won’t say he quits. They botch a Twist of Fate so the second attempt works a bit better. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a table. Matt rolls to the floor but Jeff follows with the Twist to take him down again. Back in the ring now and Jeff puts him on the table.

Before he does anything though, Jeff grabs some tape from under the ring and ties Matt’s hands and feet together. Now he gets a rope and ties Matt to the table. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a ladder. Jeff climbs said ladder but Matt begs for mercy. He says Mom and Dad wouldn’t like it and that he loves Jeff. Matt quits to prevent Jeff from jumping.

Rating: C. This was a fun match but the ending hurt it badly. With all the stuff that Matt has been through over the years, he quits to avoid a legdrop through the table? The match was just ok up to that point but at the end of the day like I said earlier, I don’t think people were really that interested in seeing these guys fight. This ended the feud, which is probably best for everyone involved.

Hardy would feud with CM Punk over the World Heavyweight Championship later in the year before leaving the company just after Summerslam. A few months later he would debut in TNA on the same night as Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Over the summer a complicated and confusing storyline developed about a group called THEY that were coming to TNA. At the same time, a tournament was being held for the vacant TNA World Title, leading up to the finals at Bound For Glory with Hardy in one of the three slots.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy has new music. Nothing all that special as again you can barely understand it. He’s called challenger #1. Who exactly is he challenging if no one has the title? Anderson is in gray tights which is odd. It’s 10:33 and we’re just starting. Think they’re cutting this close? No big match intros either which is weird also.

Angle is knocked to the floor and Anderson gets a neckbreaker on Hardy for two. Angle pops in and goes for Anderson’s knee. Big old belly to belly as it’s all Angle here. Then Hardy saves and it’s all Hardy. Little theme going on there. Angle Germans Hardy who Germans Anderson to take both of them over in a cool spot.

It gets two on Hardy as we keep going. 10:37 and no sign of THEY which scares the heck out of me. Hardy sends Angle up and over and might be hurt. I don’t buy it but whatever. Hardy goes over the top in a dive to take out everyone. Back in and Angle is ok, hooking a chinlock on Hardy after a cover gets two.

Running German to Hardy and he’s up seconds later. Ok then. Hey we went a full two hours and 40 minutes before we got a shot of Dixie. Angle is busted open a bit. Angle busts out some Germans on Anderson as Hardy is down. Hardy gets some of the same. Ankle Lock on the face painted one.

Anderson tries to save and winds up in the ankle lock. Angle locks the ankle lock on BOTH of them at once. That looks awesome. Naturally it doesn’t work but it looked cool while it was on. Anderson gets that rolling fireman’s carry slam from the middle rope on Angle so that Hardy can cover both for two.

10:45 now as this has somehow been going 12 minutes. Angle Slam gets two on Hardy. Top rope Angle Slam on Anderson but Hardy gets the cover for two. The fans think this is awesome and it’s not bad. Twist of Fate to Anderson and the Swanton hits. Angle saves into the ankle lock and Hardy is in trouble.

Jeff kicks off and sends Angle into a Mic Check for a VERY close two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets a lot of two counts. Angle is the only one left and hits the moonsault on Hardy for two again as Anderson is still down. Angle and Anderson go at it and block each others’ finishers.

And there goes the referee. Oh dang it. Everyone is down and here comes Eric with a chair. And here it comes. This is what TNA has spent the last 4 months building to. And what a shock: HULK IS HERE! Or at least his music is here. Yep there he is but on crutches. He needs help getting into the ring which I don’t buy.

Hulk looks ticked at Eric who throws the chair out and wipes his hands. Hardy stumbles to his feet on the floor and gets in. Both Bischoff and Hogan have crutches and Hogan gives Jeff his. Angle is up. Hardy pops Angle with the crutch and Hogan points at Jeff. Yes, it appears that Jeff Hardy, the most popular star in the world, is part of They. Twist of Fate to Anderson, and Hardy is world champion.

Rating: B. Ending aside obviously, this was a solid main event. It felt like a big match, but then again I would prefer a singles match for the title. That’s the traditionalist in me talking but if there is a match to end the biggest show of the year, only on very special occasions (this isn’t one of them) should it not be one on one for the world title.

For the first time in his singles career, Hardy was a full fledged heel, but unfortunately he would be third in command of the new Immortal faction at best. Hardy would hold the title for a few months before dropping Sting on television. Soon after that the two would have a rematch in one of the most infamous moments in wrestling history. Hardy would show up barely able to walk and would be defeated in a one move match. That would be it for Jeff for several months as he left to clean up his life before returning late in the year. After a few months he would enter a feud with Kurt Angle due to Kurt’s child being a Hardy fan. From Lockdown 2012.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Angle said that he and Hardy could match HHH vs. Undertaker here and he’s had a great track record at this show so hopefully he continues that here. Hardy’s paint is black and white here. There’s this, the world title and the Knockout Tag Titles left so the show still has a small chance. Angle’s thigh is taped due to a legit injury. Kurt pounds him in the corner to start but Jeff comes back with the legdrop between the legs.

They’re going very slowly here but it might be a slow build. Jeff whips him into the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick but he’s holding his neck. Jeff seems to be ok though and he pounds Angle down in the corner. Kurt slams him into the cage which had a great sound. Snap suplex gets two. Back into the cage as it’s pretty clear Kurt is nowhere near 100%. It looks like Jeff is busted a bit but you can’t see that well.

Kurt rams him into the cage again and walks around a lot. Oh yeah Jeff is busted. Jeff comes back with a clothesline and both guys are down. Things speed up again and Jeff comes back with some forearms. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Twisting Stunner puts Kurt down and he loads up the Swanton, but Angle runs the corner and hits a GREAT Angle Slam out of the corner for a close two. Kurt goes for the door but Jeff dives for the leg. Angle pounds on his head and goes for the climb over but Jeff pulls him back. Now Jeff goes up and knocks Kurt back, hitting a standing top rope Vader Bomb for two.

Both guys are down again and it’s Hardy up first. He goes for the door but Kurt grabs the ankle and puts on the ankle lock. Jeff counters into the ankle lock on Angle (on the good leg) but Kurt rolls out. Twist of Fate puts Angle down and Jeff goes for the corner. Swanton connects but he goes up again and hits a second one which gets two. Kurt pulls him head first into the cage and the Angle Slam gets two. Hardy counters the Slam into one of his own before going all the way to the top of the cage for a super Swanton for the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B+. While it’s not as good as Kurt’s other matches, this was a HUGE step up over what the rest of this show has been. I don’t ever remember my heart being in my throat for a spot more than that Swanton though as I thought he was going to kill himself. Angle’s injury slowed this a lot but it was still a very good match and a major help that this show needed.

Hardy would spend the summer competing in the Bound For Glory Series, eventually winning the competition and earning a title match against Austin Aries at Bound For Glory 2012.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

The fans are pretty much split which isn’t what they were hoping for I don’t think. We start with a long feeling out process and we have roughly half an hour for this. They head to the mat and Hardy actually keeps up with the champ (Aries is defending if I didn’t mention that) until they head to the corner for the slingshot dropkick. Aries comes back and puts Hardy on the apron for a slingshot ax handle. He takes a victory lap and then one in reverse.

Back in and Hardy gets two off a suplex. They’re still in first gear here and that’s fine. Jeff knocks Aries to the floor and mocks Aries. The fans don’t seem pleased with Jeff so he jumps off the apron with an ax handle of his own. Jeff charges at Aries but Hardy crashes into the barricade and hits Aries at the same time. Back in and Aries gets two off a top rope splash. Aries charges into a boot in the corner and the crowd is probably 80% pro Aries.

A backbreaker gets two for the champ and it’s off to an abdominal stretch on the mat. Aries takes him down again and hits a corkscrew plancha for two. Hardy blocks the Last Chancery and hits something Big Show used to call the Alley Oop. He sets for a powerbomb but throws Aries backwards instead of forwards. Show’s was a bit slower but it’s the same move. Hardy makes his comeback and hits the low dropkick for two.

Whisper in the Wind gets two and the fans have quieted down a bit. Twist of Fate is countered and Aries is knocked to the floor. Hardy misses a slingshot and there’s the suicide dive to drive Jeff into the barricade. Another dive takes Hardy out again with this one getting two in the ring. Aries is busted but nowhere near what Storm was earlier. There’s the Last Chancery but Jeff escapes quickly.

They head to the ramp and Jeff can’t hit the Twist, but rather gets clotheslined into the ropes. Aries drops him on his head, sending the back of Jeff’s head into the edge of the ramp. And people wonder why he’s a drug addict. A missile dropkick sends Jeff into the corner but he comes out with the Twist for two. Jeff loads up the Swanton but gets crotched and super ranaed down from a double standing position. That looked awesome. Corner dropkick sets up the Brainbuster for two and Aries is STUNNED. Aries puts Jeff on top but gets knocked off and the Swanton gives Jeff the title at 23:04.

Rating: B+. This was a good main event but after the Aces and 8’s stuff, this came off a bit flat. Also, TNA REALLY needs to mix up their main event styles. The kicking out of finishers and then the pin soon thereafter can only take you so far and they’ve done it for years now. Watch a few TNA PPV main events and the formulas are almost always the same. Hardy winning is the right choice but it doesn’t feel like a huge moment at all for the most part. Still though, a quite good match.

Hardy is one of the few classic stories in wrestling history as he rose from lowly tag wrestler to tag team star to midcard sensation to world champion and one of the biggest stars in the world. He’s been successful everywhere he’s been and has put on some of the most entertaining matches you’ll find. That of course leaves you with the white elephant that is his substance abuse. They’ve held down what could have been a legendary career but he’s more than a success either way.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 13, 2014
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

The UK tour continues as we head into England for the first time this year. The main stories coming out of last week are Samoa Joe officially being #1 contender over Bobby Roode and an MVP vs. Dixie summit that went absolutely nowhere. Lockdown is less than a month away so odds are we’ll be hearing about Lethal Lockdown and the rest of the card soon enough. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of MVP standing up to Dixie for all of her evil deeds in the last few months and promising changes to end Dixie’s party.

No time is wasted on getting to Dixie this week as she and her cronies are in the ring to start the show. Dixie says she clearly hasn’t lost a wink of sleep over MVP’s threats and the odds of him taking over the company are about as good as her having a bad hair day. Dixie brags about Magnus but Ethan takes the mic and says he’s the one that ended the career of Kurt Angle.

Magnus takes the mic as well but has to wait for a YOU SOLD OUT chant. It’s nice to be back in Manchester because it means another year before he has to be back here again. People like Manchester make him feel ashamed to be British because he’s not from the north, nor is he a paper champion. He’s a man who recognizes opportunity and there is no opportunity in Manchester, other than a chance to be smacked in the face by the world champion.

The fans aren’t impressed so Magnus shifts his focus to MVP. He doesn’t care what jail cell MVP came from but we need to get the pecking order established. It’s Magnus on top, Dixie second, everybody else, and then MVP. Magnus isn’t for sale but here are MVP and Joe with something of their own to say. MVP sucks up to the crowd and says that Joe will be challenging Magnus at Lockdown, which seems to take the champion by surprise.

This brings out Gunner with the Feast or Fired case, which will be cashed in next week on Impact. Dixie says not so fast, because Gunner has to face Ethan Carter for the briefcase tonight. MVP one ups her by putting EC3’s Tag Team Title briefcase on the line as well, but makes it a ladder match with both briefcases on the line. MVP tells “C-3PO” that if anyone tries to cheat in this match, he’ll be out here to level the playing field.

Gunner vs. Ethan Carter III

Dang they’re not wasting time tonight. Carter heads straight to the floor to start but Gunner is waiting for him and heads back inside for a running knee and a fallaway slam. Gunner goes to get a ladder but Carter dropkicks him off the apron and sets up the ladder himself, only to have Gunner send him into the buckle.

The ladder is sat in the corner and Carter is sent flying into the steel, only to have Gunner get the same treatment. He’s still able to powerbomb Carter down for the save but Magnus comes in and shoves the ladder over, only to draw in James Storm for the save. This brings out MVP who makes it a winner take all tag team ladder match at about 4:30.

Rating: D. This is one of the things I can’t stand about modern wrestling: wasted gimmick matches. Why in the world did they need to have a ladder match, only to throw in another one a few seconds later? On top of that, a gimmick match is supposed to attract viewers, but that usually requires more than five minutes’ warning. How good of a ladder match can you have with about four minutes of action?

James Storm/Gunner vs. Ethan Carter III/Magnus

Joined in progress with Storm in trouble and Magnus driving the ladder into Gunner’s back. Gunner is laid across the ladder and splashed across the back before both heels drop him ribs first onto the ladder. Magnus rams the ladder into Gunner’s face and loads up the ladder but Ethan tries to climb. That’s not cool with the champ who wants to go instead. They get in an argument, despite it not being clear who gets the case if Magnus pulls it down.

The fight lets Storm come back in and clean house and Ethan is double hiptossed onto the ladder. Magnus saves his partner from the Gun Rack but Storm hits a Cactus Clothesline to send himself and Magnus to the outside. Gunner comes back in with a swan dive to Carter and goes up to pull down both cases for the win at 5:00.

Rating: C-. Better match here but man alive enough with the five minute gimmick matches. We just saw two ladder matches combine to last under ten minutes and it doesn’t really solve anything. In short, there was no reason for these matches to use ladders other than it sounds cool on paper. Pay no attention to the fact that if you weren’t watching in the last twenty minutes, you would have no idea they were taking place.

Anderson says he’ll win tonight because he has family and we get to see a picture of his twin daughters.

Spud has divided the office in half and makes sure that Dixie has more flowers on her side. The Bro Mans come in and want to know what Dixie is going to do about Gunner and Storm having the briefcase. Yelling ensues when MVP comes in and says Dixie’s promises mean less and less every day. MVP says people don’t want to see lawyers and want to see action in the ring. What would be fair is to strip the champions of the titles but instead he’ll give them a six man tag match against the Wolves and a mystery partner, right now.

Bro Mans/Zema Ion vs. Wolves/???

The mystery partner is Samoa Joe. Davey starts with a Tajiri handspring into a kick to Godderz’ head before a few headbutts from his parters are good for two. Off to Edwards vs. Robbie with Eddie snapping off a standing hurricanrana and a few chops. A running knee to the face gets two and it’s quickly back to Davey who gets two off a chop from Edwards. Zema adds in a knee from the apron but Davey grabs him by the head and knocks him to the apron.

The distraction lets E get in a cheap shot and the heels take over for the first time. Zema stomps away before it’s back to Robbie for an elbow to the jaw. Heel miscommunication puts the Bro Mans down and it’s hot tag to Joe who cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Wolves hit stereo suicide dives to the floor as Joe makes Zema tap with the Clutch at 5:37.

Rating: C. This was fine though I’ve never been big on the Wolves. I was hoping the Bro Mans would be allowed to be a bit more serious, but at the end of the day they’re a comedy team so this is what you had to expect. I’d be fine with the Wolves becoming Tag Team Champions but it was nice to have a non-champion take the fall here.

Velvet Sky begs Dixie to avoid a match with Chris Sabin but gets turned down. MVP isn’t cool with that but Dixie reminds him that he’s not a wrestler. Spud laughs at him, but MVP says he’s got his gear and faces Spud next.

We recap Eric Young vs. Joseph Park/Abyss. This would be the first non-Dixie related segment of the entire show and we’re halfway done.

Here’s Abyss without the mask to call out Eric Young to see what he’s done. Abyss is under a hood like Kane was after he lost his mask back in 2003. Eric stops at ringside but Abyss asks him to come closer unless he’s afraid. Young gets in the ring and says last week he proved all he needed to prove. Park asked him to find Abyss and that’s what he did. Abyss holds up the mask and says it’s the reality of what he did last week. The hood comes back and Park says he is Abyss but Young cuts him off and says he showed Park who he is.

Park shouts at Eric and asks who either of them are because Young doesn’t know. Abyss has destroyed his body and the lives and careers of others. The scars and blood tell his story but he can’t be that man anymore. The violence and destruction have to stop but Young says he can help him. Abyss screams that he doesn’t want Eric’s help and that he needs to find someone who understands him. He drops the mask and walks away.

Earlier today Samuel Shaw tried to help Christy with her luggage but she’s nervous. He agrees to keep it professional and takes off his glove to shake her hand. Shaw looks at his hand and slowly gets on the bus.

MVP vs. Spud

That was a nice fifteen minute break but now it’s back to Dixieland. Spud stalls on the floor before the bell while MVP lounges on the top rope. MVP goes after him but Spud gets in a cheap shot on the way back in to get things going. He pounds away but makes the mistake of slapping the boss in the face. A facebuster sets up the Ballin Elbow and the Drive By kick to the head for the pin at :59. That’s exactly what it should have been.

Bobby Roode is furiously looking for Dixie.

We get a creepy promo of a guy in the woods holding a black and white umbrella, wearing a black and white mask and dressed all in black. He recites poetry and is apparently named Willow. Apparently this was Jeff Hardy in a new gimmick.

Dixie is on the phone when Roode comes in, demanding a title shot. He doesn’t like being called a sore loser and says she doesn’t want him against her.

Chris Sabin vs. Velvet Sky

Sabin offers her a free shot because this is what Velvet has always wanted. Velvet kicks him in the knee and goes for the groin but Sabin is wearing a cup. Like an idiot though he takes it out to show off and gets hit low again, allowing Velvet to pound away. Cue a big woman with a bleach blonde mohawk over dark hair to destroy Velvet with a full nelson. Sabin is very pleased. No match obviously.

Ray goes into Anderson’s dressing room and looks through his stuff, including the pictures on his phone. He calls Anderson’s wife and says this is the phone call she’s been dreading her entire life. Ray says “no, not yet, but he’s coming home in a coffin. Tell the twins daddy says goodbye.”

Roode is in the back and says he lost it and that this has to come to an end. It’s over and he can’t take this anymore. He has his jacket and bag with him, saying he might have something for next week. Security comes in and says he has to leave which Roode does without incident.

We recap Ray vs. Anderson in the casket match. Ray is angry at Anderson for ending Aces and 8’s and has gotten far more serious as a result, even threatening Anderson’s children.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Casket match. Anderson has some of the ugliest green tights I’ve ever seen. Ray takes off his shirt and reveals what I believe is a Liverpool jersey to anger the fans. Anderson takes him down and sends him into the corner before dropping him with a neckbreaker. The jersey is ripped off and stomped on by Anderson before they head outside. Mr. spends too much time deciding where to throw his shirt and Ray gets in a cheap shot as we take a break.

Back with Anderson using a chair to knock a chair into Ray’s face and sliding in a table. Anderson is bleeding from the mouth and Ray kicks him in the face to take over. Ray rubs the blood on his own face and pounds at the cut before throwing the casket into the ring. Anderson gets crotched on top and superplexed back down but Ray can’t get the lid on the casket.

Ray raises up a chair to crush Anderson but a low blow stops him cold. Instead he powerbombs Anderson through the table and earns a THIS IS AWESOME chant. Ray loads up a piledriver in the casket but Anderson counters into a Mic Check and puts on the lid for the win at 12:50. The lid didn’t actually close but it was close enough.

Rating: B-. That’s probably high but after all the garbage we’ve had to sit through tonight I’ll take anything. Ray has been an awesome heel throughout this story and I would have liked it more if he had won, but the company is dying for top faces at this point and Anderson is as good as anyone else they could use.

In the back we get even more Dixie vs. MVP with Carter offering him a buyout. She offers him a contract and MVP is impressed but says no. Dixie calls him crazy and MVP says he’s a wrestler so there might be somet truth to that. A proposal is made for Lockdown: Lethal Lockdown with Team MVP vs. Team Dixie for total control of the company. Dixie keeps up her Stephanie McMahon style acting and finally agrees.

Overall Rating: D. Impact wrestling is a two hour show. Tonight, approximately an hour and a half were spent on Dixie Carter vs. MVP or something directly related to that story. Here’s what wasn’t related to it: Eric Young/Abyss segment (8 minutes), Christy Hemme/Shaw segment (2 minutes), Ray vs. Anderson (13 minutes), Sabin vs. Sky (5 minutes) and the Willow promo (1 minute). That’s it. That’s everything on the show that wasn’t related to a single storyline.

Even Immortal didn’t make Impact that much about themselves and I didn’t think things could get worse than that. Dixie vs. MVP is fine for a story, but you need SOMETHING that isn’t related to or a result of that story. There’s some interesting stuff in TNA, but the same story being pounded into our heads like this make it a lot less interesting to sit through.

Results

Ethan Carter III vs. Gunner went to a no contest

James Storm/Gunner b. Ethan Carter III/Magnus – Gunner pulled down the briefcases

Wolves/Samoa Joe b. Zema Ion/Bro Mans – Koquina Clutch to Ion

MVP b. Spud – Drive By

Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check into a casket

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Another day, another rocking old school tag team. Today: the Steiner Brothers, due to them being on a show that happened on this day back in the 80s. It was this or Madusa so I think I made the right pick.

Rick had been feuding with the Varsity Club in late 1988 but realized he couldn’t fight them alone. Early in 1989 he brought in his younger brother Scott and formed the team. One of their first big matches was at Clash of the Champions 7 against the Varsity Club, comprised of Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotunda.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is more or less the major debut for the Steiners as a team. Sullivan and Rotunda as their opponents here in a VERY long running feud. This is under Australian rules, whatever that means. The Steiners have Missy with them. Scott is in regular tights so you know this is an early appearance for him. Big brawl to start as Rick is way over.

Hey there’s another Coors Light reference and let’s thank some army dudes. Rick vs. Mike now which is the real meat of the feud. Ross says hi to all of the fans in Connecticut where they’re headed soon which might be a slight jab at WWF but nothing big. The commentary is more or less just a commercial for the upcoming tour.

Kind of a slow start here but the fans are into it and it’s nothing bad at all. You can see the superstar in Scott just waiting to get out. The Club throws Scott to the table on the floor and then throws steps at his legs and connects. He’s limping badly now which very well could be legit. Ross and Caudle are FREAKING over this which isn’t exactly overkill here. Gorgeous dropkick by Rotunda puts Scott down.

Hot tag to Rick but Sullivan had the referee. I love that trick as it’s so simple yet it works every time. Mike misses a dropkick and there’s the real hot tag. Rick just massacres both guys until Scott can get back up. Sullivan steals Caudle’s chair and slides it into Mike who hits a suplex on Scott onto the chair on Scott’s already injured back (which was played up throughout the match after landing on the table in a nice mini-story) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good with a basic formula, a nice story and a hot crowd packed together into less than 9 minutes. The Steiners would of course go on to become the most successful tag team in company history but this was more or less their first match that meant anything. Fun stuff here and a fairly good match.

The Steiners were about to be unleashed on the world and they received their first World Tag Team Title shot at Clash of the Champions 8.

World Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Steiner Brothers

The Birds are champions and this is the Steiners’ first shot at the titles. Scott is a totally different guy here, to the point where he was a nod of the head away from being handed the world title and being made the focus of all of WCW in about 1991. Flair flat out said you say the time I’ll lay down for you. Think about that for a minute. Then he destroyed his arm and didn’t get the title for 9 years. That’s wrestling for you.

 

Missy and Robin are here with the brothers. Scott is in regular trunks here so you can tell he’s brand new. Scott vs. Hayes starts us off. Hayes stalls a lot and then stalls a lot more. Scott speeds things up but runs into the left hand which is one of Hayes’ big moves. A top rope cross body by Hayes is rolled through for two and Scott cleans house. Garvin comes in and Scott runs over him too. A SWEET reverse German hits and here’s a tag to Rick. Scott looked like Kurt Angle out there.

 

Rick knocks both of the Birds to the floor and gets on all fours. Hayes comes in next and dances a lot, just ticking Rick off even more. There’s a powerslam and one for Garvin as he tries a sneak attack. Hayes gets in a few punches so Rick just mauls him and hits a release belly to belly. Rick then misses one of the hardest charges ever into the corner. Garvin comes in with his DDT finisher but Scott makes the save.

 

Back to Hayes who sends him out to the floor for more of a beating. Rick gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting for Scott to come in and start breaking stuff. Garvin comes back in and hits a running knee to the head for two. Time for a chinlock but Rick snapmares out of it. Why don’t more people use that as a counter?

 

There’s the tag to Scott (thanks for telling me JR. No seriously, the camera cut to the crowd so we didn’t see if he made it or not) and it’s Frankensteiners (and I mean standing ones, not ones out of the corner) and a BIG powerslam for Hayes. Scott hits the ropes but someone (presumably one of the girls but we intentionally can’t see which) trips him and a quick DDT keeps the titles on the Birds.

 

Rating: B-. If you’ve EVER been unclear about why people rave and rave some more about Scott Steiner, go find this match right now, keeping in mind that he’s 24 here and had been on national TV as a wrestler for about 3 months. This was one of the most impressive performances I’ve seen in a LONG time. By the way, it was Robin that tripped Scott. She turned heel and debuted Doom soon thereafter, presumably because she wanted to get gangbanged by Ron Simmons and Butch Reed.

 

The Steiners would take the titles about two months later and hold them for several months. A major show during their reign was Starrcade 1989 which was comprised of two Iron Man tournaments. In the tag team version, the Steiners faced the most dominant tag team of all time: the Road Warriors. This is the only match (that mattered) between the two teams.

 

Steiner Brothers vs. Road Warriors

 

This is the ONLY meeting (that mattered) between two of the biggest tag teams of all time. Why it was wasted on a show like this in an inconsequential tag match is beyond me. These teams are friends at this point. Scott and Hawk get things going with Cornette considering this a battle of idiots. Ross says the fans are in awe as an excuse for them being bored so far. Both guys get big boots to the face in succession so it’s off to Rick for a chance at Hawk.

 

Hawk hits a BIG clothesline to take Rick down for two before Animal comes in for a double back elbow. Rick comes back with a Steiner Line to stagger Animal and we’re at a standoff. Animal tries a bearhug but gets caught in a belly to belly suplex for no cover. Back to Scott to meet Hawk with the bird enthusiast gorilla pressing him down to the mat with ease. Rick has to make the save this time and Hawk is annoyed at his actions. Animal comes back in and gets caught in a few belly to belly suplexes. This is pure power the entire way so far.

 

Animal comes out of the corner with a hard clothesline so Hawk comes in for an over the shoulder kneeling backbreaker. A release tilt-a-whirl slam gets two on Scott but he comes back with what was supposed to be a middle rope suplex. Instead it was more like Hawk fell flat on Scott’s chest and was driven face first into the mat. Back to Animal for a bearhug on Scott followed by a BIG powerslam from Hawk. Everything breaks down and Animal picks up Scott for a belly to back suplex with Hawk adding a top rope clothesline. Animal bridges Scott back but Scott raises his arm to get the pin as Animal’s shoulders were down.

 

Rating: D+. Most of that is for the star power alone. This was a lot of pounding on each other and a SCARY botch on that middle rope belly to belly superplex. The Steiners winning was probably the right move here as they shouldn’t have gotten pinned while still being the tag team champions. The Warriors should NOT be wrestling multiple matches in one night though as they already look spent.

 

After winning the US Tag Titles later in the year, the Steiners would also enter the Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament at Starrcade 1990 and advance to the finals. Here’s the championship match.

 

Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament Finals: Great Muta/Mr. Saito vs. Steiner Brothers

 

There’s a special guest Japanese referee. Dangerously picks the Japanese guys because they make better cars. Scott and Muta get things going with Muta firing off the kicks to take Scotty down. Scott comes right back with a rolling leg lock into a half crab which I didn’t think he was capable of doing. Off to Rick and the fans bark (I believe I’ve neglected to mention that his nickname was the Dog Faced Gremlin) on cue. Rick Steiner Lines Muta down and it’s off to Saito for a brawl.

 

Rick gets pounded down so he busts out a dropkick of all things followed by a HARD Steiner Line. Muta goes up top and gets crotched as he tries to come in, keeping the advantage in America. Saito bows in respect to Rick so he kicks Saito in the face. A BIG USA chant breaks out as Scotty gets the tag to face Muta. The Great one knocks Scott back into the corner and hits the handspring elbow but an attempt at a second one results in Muta’s face hitting Scott’s boot.

 

A belly to belly suplex gets two on Muta so it’s back to Saito. Scott fires off some hard right hands and a back elbow to the face before it’s off to Rick, who walks into a suplex. Saito and Rick collide to put both guys down (Ross: “That was like a Ford hitting a Honda.”) but it’s Muta in off the tag. Rick is sent to the floor where Saito can ram him into the post before Muta blasts Rick in the head with a bell.

 

Saito whips Rick into a hard clothesline from Rick as the Japanese are playing full on heels in this match, despite being gentlemen all night. Back in and Saito comes in off the middle rope with a shot to the ribs before it’s off to a choke. Saito keeps choking long enough for Muta to come in off the top with an elbow to Rick’s back. It’s back to Muta who walks into a Steiner Line and there’s the hot tag to Scott.

 

A tiger driver gets two on Muta as everything breaks down. Saito hits the Saito Suplex (modified belly to back) on Scott for two and the Japanese guys hit a spike piledriver for good measure. Rick breaks up the count but Muta is already posing. A blind tag brings in Rick, who comes in off the top with a sunset flip on Saito for the pin and the tournament championship.

 

Rating: B-. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it didn’t work all that well. They were going with pure American patriotism to carry the match which worked well enough given the crowd reaction, but the wrestling was only decent. The Steiners winning was the right move, unless you wanted to have the Japanese guys cheat like nuts to win and set up a future title match between the teams. Still though, not bad.

 

With no one left to conquer in America, the Steiners (once again WCW World Tag Team Champions) went over to Japan for the first WCW/New Japan SuperShow for a shot at the IWGP World Tag Team Titles.

 

IWGP/WCW Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Kensuke Sasaki/Hiroshi Hase

The Steiners are the WCW World and US Tag Champions. To say they were the most dominant team in the company is an understatement. This by the way is Meltzer’s match of the year. I saw their rematch and it was good but not great at all. Let’s see how this one is. This is when Scott was more or less totally awesome and could have been world champion if he wanted to but he stayed with Rick instead.

Hase vs. Scott start us off and the fans are LOUD. We hit the mat almost immediately and Scott goes for the knees. Hase stays in a crouch and makes Scott comes to him. Big old kick to the back of the head of Scott as this Hase isn’t bad. Sasaki comes in and gets a ROAR. He beats up Rick and takes his head OFF with a lariat.

Scott and Hase come in and Scott hits what we would call an Angle Slam off the top. Incredibly hart hitting match so far. There’s the Steiner Line to take Hase down. A minor edit there and Scott hits a great belly to belly for two. DDT hits but no cover which is kind of stupid. Belly to belly off the middle rope gets two again as Sasaki makes the save. Butterfly Powerbomb requires another save.

Sasaki gets a spinning Rock Bottom on Rick and a suplex on Scott as we jump ahead another little bit. Sasaki suplexes Hase onto Rick in a cool spot. Rick kicks out of Hase’s Northern Lights Suplex, his finisher. Tilt-a-whirl slam to Hase from Scott. This is nothing but high impact awesomeness. Both teams go for the top rope bulldog but only the Steiners get it. Frankensteiner to Sasaki (which is really not that impactful) gets three (even though the shoulder was up) to give the Steiners their third title.

Rating: A-. It’s definitely good, but if this is the best match of the year then 1991 was a lot leaner than I thought it was. I wouldn’t put it ahead of Warrior vs. Savage from Mania or anything like that, but hey it’s a match involving Japanese guys so of course it wins in the case of a tie with a WWF match right? This was very good though and I can see the praise it gets.

 

With no regular teams to beat, it was time for the Steiners to face a super team: Sting and Lex Luger. From the first SuperBrawl.

 

Tag Titles: Lex Luger/Sting vs. Steiner Brothers

It’s face vs. face here and Luger is US Champion. I freaking love the way Capetta (the ring announcer) says someone is a world champion. He pauses before saying world very loudly. Ross says we’re starting with power vs. power but all four of them can do power stuff with I guess Rick being the weakest one? Geez there are a lot of titles in this match. It amazes me to no end that Luger would be top heel in less than a year, defending the title against Sting in February at SuperBrawl II.

The crowd is actually reacting to this match unlike almost every other match on the card which is really not a good sign. They’re doing a lot of technical stuff here which is a nice change of pace. In a bad looking spot, Steiner throws a shoulder at Luger and hits him solidly but Lex just shrugs it off and Steiner stays down. Sting jumps over the rope which is a spot that was more or less unheard of at the time and he nails it.

He’s the only person in wrestling history that I would put against RVD as far as leaping ability goes. Also considering his size (6’3 so just under Orton’s height) it’s even more impressive. Magnum TA put Sting about as perfectly as anyone I’ve ever heard: he had so much charisma and talent when he first got going that he didn’t know what to do with it. That’s absolutely spot on too.

A year or so before this he would have been lost out there. Not due to a lack of ability, but simply because he didn’t know how to channel his energy. Imagine a guy like Shelton Benjamin but with Edge’s charisma and you have Sting. Now within a year or two, he had the ring sense of a guy like Eddie Guerrero, making him one of if not the absolute best wrestler in the world. He’s maybe my 2nd favorite wrestler of all time and was easily the top face in the company around this time.

About a year or so from now, he would be the undisputed king of WCW and was even bigger than Flair when he returned from that other company. Anyway enough about Sting as I just rambled for five minutes over a plancha. This is a great match that I’m not going to do a lot of commentary on. It goes about eleven minutes and the longest dead spot is about 20 seconds.

They work themselves to death out there and it makes things go well. After things break down and we have a ref bump, we go to a camera shot that would be like someone looking at the ring from the entrance and we see a big bald guy walking to the ring. It’s Koloff from earlier and he has a chain around his arm. He gets a running start at Luger who has his back to him. Sting shoves him out of the way and takes the chain which lets Scott get the pin.

I love that ending as it furthers Sting and Koloff, or actually starts it I guess. After that there’s no way to put one team over the other so I’m actually fine with it. Sting goes after Koloff in the back and they fight outside.

Rating: A. This is a great tag match all around as you have four guys that can legitimately go with each other out there, a good story as it’s respect all around, and the workrate is off the freaking charts here. All four guys worked very hard and the crowd was itno it all the way. What more can you ask for here?

 

After a brief singles run for Scott, the Brothers left for the WWF in late 1992. One of their first major matches was at Wrestlemania IX against the Headshrinkers.

 

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

This should be solid stuff. The Shrinkers are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi) here. Historic moment: JR calls this match a slobberknocker, unleashing the term on the wrestling world. The Headshrinkers have Afa as their manager, which will be mentioned later. Scott and Fatu start things off and after being shoved by the Samoan, Scott easily takes him down by the legs. A big old Steiner Line flips Fatu inside out but the Headshrinkers take Scott into the corner to work him over.

The Steiners are sent to the floor so they both climb to the top and hit a double Steiner Line to take both Samoans out to the floor. We settle down to Scott vs. Fatu again but it’s quickly off to Rick. Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri at the first aid station. Samu pounds on Rick in the corner and hits a running clothesline, only to be taken down by a running forearm/clothesline. Samu goes face first into the post to absolutely no effect, because he’s Samoan you see.

Back to Scott but Afa gets on the apron for a distraction. Scott charges into a hot shot to send him out to the floor in a NASTY looking bump. Afa cracks his staff over Scott’s back which looked great and sounded even greater. Things settle down a bit and Fatu hits a backbreaker and middle rope headbutt for two on Scott. A spinning kick to the face takes Scott down again but Samu charges into a boot in the corner.

Fatu blocks the hot tag by knocking Scott to the floor where he gets sent face first into the post. In a sweet sequence, Scott tries to ram Fatu’s head into the mat but Fatu pops up and superkicks Scott right back down. A modified Demolition Decapitatior gets two on Scott and let’s hit that nerve hold. Scott fights up and they collide as is common in tag matches. Heenan keeps ripping on JR and Oklahoma as Ross has almost no idea what to make of this kind of sarcasm. That says a lot when he used to work with Jim Cornette.

Back to Samu who goes up top, only to miss a top rope splash. The hot tag brings in Rick but a double headbutt immediately puts him back down. Here’s your awesome spot of the match: Rick gets loaded up in a Doomsday Device position but when Samu dives at him with a cross body, Rick catches him in mid air and powerslams/belly to belly suplexes him off Fatu’s shoulders and down. AWESOME looking move and they hit it perfectly. Scott hits a belly to belly on Fatu but Samu hits a superkick to take him right back down. Out of NOWHERE Scott hits the Frankensteiner for the pin. Nice bump from a guy that big.

Rating: B. I liked this one as much as I liked the opener which is saying a lot. This probably should have kicked the show off as the spots were hitting better and the fans were popping a lot louder, but I can get why they went with a title match. I’m a Headshrinkers fan so seeing them hold their own against one of the best teams ever is a very fun sight. Good match here and that powerslam was great.

The Steiners didn’t do much in the WWF (other than two forgettable Tag Title reigns), but they did have one masterpiece against Bret and Owen Hart at a taped house show on January 11, 1994.

Steiner Brothers vs. Owen Hart/Bret Hart

Bret and Scott get things going with Scott easily taking Bret down with a double leg. Bret comes back with a nice amateur takedown of his own but Scott SNAPS back up and grabs a spinning toe hold of all things. Again Bret is able to get back to his feet but gets caught in a strong headlock. When the amateur stuff goes to a standstill, Scott just runs Bret over with a shoulder to send him outside. They’re going for the slow build here and for once it’s between teams that could pull that off.

Back in and Owen tries his luck with an arm ringer but Scott easily slams him down. Off to Rick who takes Owen to the mat but Owen spins out and it’s a standoff. I’m not doing their speed on the mat justice. These guys are FLYING down there and it’s awesome stuff. Owen’s leapfrog is countered into a powerslam followed by a wicked German suplex for two. The Harts are getting tossed around like dolls out there. Owen pops up with his spinning wristlock and Germans Rick down for two in a nice showup move.

Back to Scott who gets suplexed for two more but he comes right back with a tiger suplex for a thud and two. Time for Bret vs. Rick with Rick cranking on the arm and Bret not being able to slam his way out of it. Bret slaps the mat but that doesn’t mean anything at this point. Rick bends the arm back as the fans chant for Bret. Back up and Bret finally whips Rick off and knees him in the ribs but misses an elbow drop.

We hit the armbar again but Bret fights out and takes over with a dropkick. A DDT of all things puts Rick down for a few moments but he’s up and punching again. Bret realizes he’s in WAY over his head in a slugout and grabs a sleeper instead. Monsoon thinks it’s a choke as the referee checks the arm but on the third drop, Rick falls into the ropes for the break. Bret uncharacteristically won’t let go until four and Scott isn’t happy at all. The middle rope elbow hits Rick’s boot and the top rope bulldog gets two.

Bret takes the chest first bump into the corner for two and it’s back to Scott. There haven’t been a lot of tags in this match. Scott hits a nice tilt-a-whirl slam for two before avoiding a charging Bret who goes shoulder first into the post. Bret tries to walk it off but has to block a suplex back inside. Instead he suplexes Scott up and over to the floor in a painful looking landing. Scott is holding his knee as it’s back to Owen for a top rope headbutt to the back.

There’s an abdominal stretch and Gorilla is IMMEDIATELY ripping on Owen for using the hold at all on a power guy like Scott. The other commentator Stan Lane (of the Midnight Express) points out how stupid it is to not go after the knee that Scott was holding. Scott is sent into the middle buckle and it’s already back to Bret who doesn’t look all the way recovered from going into the post. A slam gets two on Scott and it’s quickly back to Owen as the pace picks up a bit.

Owen whips Scott into the ropes and knocks Bret off the apron in a nice little callback to Survivor Series 1993. Scott gets the hot tag to bring in Rick and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Owen. Back to Scott for a dragon suplex and a two count before Rick comes in again for the BIG Steiner Line and two more.

We hit the reverse chinlock but Scott doesn’t care for that kind of lame offense. He comes back in and busts out the STEINER SCREWDRIVER to knock Owen silly. For those of you that have never seen it, it’s a vertical suplex but Scott turns Owen slightly before lifting him into the air and dropping him straight down into a piledriver. It’s very rare to see because most people aren’t crazy enough to take it. Bret makes the save because Owen would have been out for a count of 300 at least.

Scott sends Owen to the floor for some reason but he’s able to slingshot Scott over the top rope and out to the floor. Owen DIVES for a tag to Bret for the Five Moves of Doom but Rick breaks up the Sharpshooter. The other Hart tries to come in but Rick breaks that up as well. The Steiners load up the Steiner Bulldog but Bret makes the save as everything breaks down. Bret and Rick are knocked to the floor but Scott dives off the top with a double ax handle. Owen adds a pescado and it’s finally a double countout to end it.

Rating: A+. That might be the best tag match the WWF ever had, and that covers a lot of ground. This was a chess match with both teams being amateur masters so it was the Harts’ speed against the Steiners’ power, which is the best possible combination. I also really like that there were no winners as this was one of those rare matches where neither team deserved to lose. Absolutely outstanding stuff here that might actually be better than Austin/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho and TLC 2. Let that sink in for a minute and then GO WATCH THIS.

The brawl keeps going for a bit until they finally separate. Scott gets the mic and says let’s keep it going so here come the Canadians. The right is on again until a bunch of referees come out to break it up again. They go at it a third time and Gorilla sees Pat Patterson. “OH BOY DID HE GET FAT!” The delivery of that was hilarious. The Steiners are finally put out of the ring but now Bret gets the mic and says they’re not going anywhere so it starts up all over again. They’re FINALLY separated and everybody shakes hands.

Rick and Scott pretty much disappeared from the WWF a few months after this and would wind up in ECW about a year later, debuting at a house show on July 28, 1998.

Steiner Brothers vs. Vampire Warrior/Dudley Dudley

Vampire Warrior is more famous as Gangrel. Scott and Dudley get things going with the guy you’ve probably heard of throwing Dudley around with ease twice in a row. A butterfly powerbomb sends Dudley running for the corner and it’s off to the Warrior and Rick. The Steiners are WAY over here. The Warrior gets in some chops to start but walks into a BIG powerslam to stop him cold.

Some double teaming slows Rick down for a bit and it’s back to Dudley for some lame shots to the back and a neckbreaker for two. More double teaming ensues but Dudley jumps into Rick’s boot. Hot tag brings in Scott and house is immediately cleaned as Scott busts out a bunch of suplexes. The Steiner bulldog ends the Warrior with ease.

Rating: D+. We’ll file this one under “what else were you expecting?” The Steiners were still an awesome team at this point and two of the guys that could hang with anyone in the ring. Back when he was on his game, there wasn’t much more fun to watch than Scott Steiner throwing people around like they were nothing.

This one didn’t last long either and it was off to WCW again, but not much happened in 1996. The following year brought a LONG feud with the Outsiders that saw the Steiners win the Tag Titles a few times. Here’s one of their final matches, from February 9, 1998 on Nitro.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Outsiders

The Outsiders are defending. For the sake of simplicity, Scott Steiner will be referred to as Scott and Scott Hall will be referred to as Hall. Tony says Sting may be injured after that attack. Rick starts with Hall and the challengers take over early on. It’s off to Scott but Hall blocks a belly to belly suplex and hooks a chokeslam. Scott pops back up and hits an overhead belly to belly to take Hall down. Scott has to go after Nash and Hall takes his head off with a clothesline.

Nash gets the tag and fires off the big knee lifts in the corner to keep Scott in trouble. There’s the choke with the foot and it’s back to Hall for the fallaway slam. Back to Nash for some posing and a big boot to the face for no cover. Hall hooks the abdominal stretch before slapping the back of Scott’s head. Nash comes back in and teases the Jackknife but elbows Scott in the head instead. Back to Hall who walks into a side slam but leverages Scott into Rick, knocking the legal Rick to the floor. Hall loads up the Edge on Scott but Rick comes in with the top rope bulldog for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. The match was a standard formula tag match but the ending felt very rushed. It was interesting to see Scott take the long beating instead of Rick for a change and the match was at least different than the usual encounters between these teams. At the same time though, can we PLEASE get another team to hold the titles? It’s been a year and a half and one other team has held the titles, with a reign of less than a day.

That was about it for the Brothers as they would split up less than a month later and pretty much be done for about ten years. Rick would work in Japan before shifting towards a real world job while Scott would be a singles star. They would however reunite in TNA in 2007, including a dream match against the Dudley Boys at Bound For Glory 2007.

Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D

They point out that the Steiners now reside in Atlanta to HAMMER in the face push. Big brawl to start as you have to get two table put throughs out of three to win this. Well it’s better than a regular table match. I’m not sure how but it prevents winning on a fluke I guess. Rick thankfully is in a shirt as we get the Steiner pose. The Dudleys try to leave and that goes nowhere.

Beer to the face of D-Von as they’re in the crowd. Granted this isn’t so much a waste of time as you can go through a table anywhere. Big brawl in the stands where not a lot is going on as there are no tables in sight. Scott and Bubba are brawling as are the other pair. There’s the first table brought in but it’s not set up yet. We’re back around the ring now.

In the ring now and Rick goes through one on a 3D. Scott is on the floor and there aren’t any eliminations it seems which I like better. Scott fights out of a super bomb and hits a Frankensteiner where he does nothing and Bubba has to jump for the flip, hitting the back of his head on the edge, more or less breaking through the table with his neck. FREAKING OW MAN.

It’s tied up at one here as D-Von misses a splash. How was Steiner a world champion in WCW? I think you can count him as another example of a guy making money and getting as far as he did because WCW was in the place it was rather than his talent. Bubba whips Scott with a big leather belt as Rick has apparently disappeared.

Scott is put on a table and it just kind of collapses which doesn’t count as it’s not a guy being put through it which makes sense. Scott has his beard braided which looks stupid. The Dudleys put him on another table and go for his injured throat. The Guns run down for the save. D-Von misses a chair shot and the Steiner Bulldog ends it.

Rating: D+. Well they were trying out there but it didn’t work that well. The two old teams going at it were supposed to comprise a dream match but it didn’t work. Why should I want to see either of these teams rather than the Guns who had a run in here? It’s more old guys that aren’t worth much doing their thing. That’s rarely a good thing and this was no exception. Having the 2/3 thing was a nice little twist though and it helped it a good deal.

If the Road Warrios were all about dominance, the Steiner Brothers were all about beating the tar out of people with raw power and technical abilities. They were untouchable in the late 80s and early 90s and had some of the best matches with anyone they ever fought. Those matches against Bret/Owen and Sting/Luger are as good of a pair of tag matches as you’ll ever see.

Scott Steiner was the closest thing to a Brock Lesnar that WCW ever had and could have been the world champion if he hadn’t injured his arm. I mean that literally, as Flair basically said name the time and the place and I’ll drop the title to him. Go watch these guys from their primes if you’ve never seen their work. They’re a top five tag team ever at worst and maybe even the best of all time. Not a lot of teams can say that but the Steiners certainly can.

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NXT
Date: February 12, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Alex Riley, William Regal, Renee Young

The big story at the moment is the build to the February 27 supershow, but the problem with that is the main show taking over NXT more and more every week. HHH’s cameos are becoming a regular thing as JBL as GM is rapidly being forgotten. I always knew that once NXT stopped being its own thing it would stop being as fun and that’s slowly starting to happen. Let’s get to it.

Welcome Home.

Natalya/Bayley/Emma vs. BFF’s

It’s Alicia Fox/Summer Rae/Sasha Banks here and Emma vs. Paige is official for NXT Arrival on the 27^th. Emma takes Summer down to start before it’s off to Natalya vs. Sasha as the Canadian counters Banks’ wristlock into a quick suplex for two. Bayley comes in for a snapmare and slam but Fox gets the tag and dropkicks her down for two as we take a break.

Back with Summer holding Bayley in a seated full nelson before getting rolled up for two. Riley spends most of the match talking about his crush on Emma. Off to Banks for a front facelock as Renee asks Regal what he’s doing for Valentine’s Day. Regal: “Whatever you like my dear.” Fox gets two off a northern lights suplex with that nice bridge before we hit the chinlock on Bayley.

Back to Summer for some stretching and choking on the apron until Bayley finally counters a suplex to get a breather. The hot tag brings in Emma who cleans house until Alicia kicks her in the face. Sasha, Summer and Charlotte walk out on Alicia, allowing Emma to hook the Emma Lock for the submission from Fox at 7:28 shown of 10:58.

Rating: C-. There’s something about these Divas that you just don’t get with the WWE Divas. These girls are…..what’s the word I’m looking for…..oh yeah: competent. The match on Raw was absolutely dreadful and while this wasn’t great, it certainly wasn’t a chore to sit through and felt much more fun than the Bellas being all serious and wanting to be taken seriously while clearly being there as eye candy and due to who they’re sleeping with.

Aiden English vs. Colin Cassady

English’s song tonight is about how he’s the one in the ring while the fans watch. Cassady takes him into the corner to start and gets two off a slam. English comes back with a running neckbreaker and some hard forearms to the chest for two of his own. A reverse neckbreaker gets the same but Cass is all fired up now. He spells out SAWFT before blasting English in the back with a forearm, only to have English kick him in the knee and finish with the Director’s Cut at 1:23.

Here’s Sami Zayn to ask Cesaro for another 2/3 falls match in the ring as Cesaro requested. Sami isn’t proud of how many times he’s watched that match and noticed every mistake he’s made. His career has always been about moving forward but for the first time he can’t do it. Even after watching the footage as many times as he has, he can’t figure out the final mistake that cost him the match.

This brings out Cesaro who says this is starting to sound pathetic. Cesaro says there was no one moment in that match that cost Zayn because Antonio is just better. Zayn can look at that one match as a crystal http://findviagra.com ball for his entire career: coming up just a hair short. Sami says the two of them go back for years around the world and he respects Cesaro for everything he’s accomplished.

Cesaro is here because he’s a true competitor who will fight anyone anywhere, except for Sami. Zayn would like a reason why but Cesaro avoids the question by asking how many times he has to beat Sami to get the point across. Zayn thinks Antonio is afraid because they bring out the best in each other and Cesaro can’t beat him at his best. Anotnio asks Sami about his knee and Zayn isn’t comfortable answering. Cesaro agrees to one last match if there are no excuses when Sami loses.

Zayn agrees to the terms and the fans want a pinkie promise. Sami holds out his pinkie and Cesaro does the same, only to say it’s still no and kick Zayn in the knee. This brings out HHH BECAUSE WE JUST CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT HIM! HHH says the fans want the match so it’s on for Arrival. Heaven forbid Sami gets to come back and make Cesaro want to have the match, because we’ve got HHH on ANOTHER being the nice boss for this week.

CJ Parker vs. Tye Dillinger

Parker still looks like an idiot dancing around like he does. Dillinger takes him down with a front facelock and the fans chant purple power, apparently impressed by Dillnger’s trunks. CJ comes back with an airplane spin and the Third Eye for the pin at 1:20.

Post match Parker asks why people hate him. He reduces, reuses and recycles and even drives a car getting 40 miles a gallon. Parker should be booing us for melting his ice caps and spilling oil on his planet. The NXT fans are destroying the Earth because they don’t love anyone or anything. From this moment forward, he doesn’t love us either. I can’t say I’ve ever seen an environmentalist in wrestling so at least it’s new and thankfully we don’t have to sit through Parker as a face anymore.

Wyatt Family vs. Jason Jordan/Marcus Louis

Even Bray is here for this one. Harper takes Louis into the corner with stomps to the ribs before it’s off to Rowan for a fallaway slam and a splash before the discus lariat from Harper gets the pin in 59 seconds.

Jordan gets Sister Abigail. Bray talks about grown men trembling at the sound of the Family’s footsteps. They have conquered this world but haven’t forgotten where they came from. Follow the buzzards.

Overall Rating: C. They’re clearly just running on fumes until they get to Arrival, but at least we have HHH to carry us there! This was basically a throwaway show with only the Sami vs. Cesaro showdown being worth watching. I’m hoping they just forget about this show once Arrival is over and let it get back to being the awesome show it used to be.

Results

Emma/Bayley/Natalya b. BFF’s – Emma Lock to Fox

Aiden English b. Colin Cassady – Director’s Cut

CJ Parker b. Tye Dillinger – Third Eye

Wyatt Family b. Jason Jordan/Marcus Louis – Discus lariat to Louis

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Monday Nitro #155
Date: September 21, 1998
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,144
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

So the Horsemen returned a week ago and three days later they were outsmarted by Bischoff and Bagwell in an arm wrestling match on Thunder. Due to that loss, Flair is never allowed to wrestle again, which I’m sure will hold up. Other than that we’re coming up on Halloween Havoc and Nitro has turned into a bad horror movie with Warrior kidnapping Disciple last week. Let’s get to it.

Hall arrives and yells at Doug Dillinger about wrecking his car while holding a bag which sounds like it’s full of bottles.

Nitro Girls.

The announcers do their opening chat, mainly talking about Page vs. Goldberg.

The ring fills up with smoke and Disciple is unconscious on the mat. This brings out the Black and White but more smoke fills the ring and the NWO can’t just walk through it and grab his body for some reason. Warrior appears in the rafters under the Warrior Signal with the unconscious Disciple. Hogan says come and finish what you ran away from eight years ago and to tell the people that Warrior lives in fear.

Warrior says he’s been running to reappear and take away all of Hogan’s valuable possessions. Tonight he starts with the Disciple, who kneels beside him because he hasn’t been instilled with the Warrior powers. Warrior promises that the plot will thicken tonight. I know the blowoff match is horrible, but the build for it is somehow even less interesting.

Opening sequence.

Finlay vs. Barry Darsow

They circle each other until Darsow hammers him into the corner but Finlay uppercuts him back. We hit an early nerve hold on Barry followed by a simple pull of the face but Darsow comes back with choking and a chinlock. Finlay counters a piledriver attempt and the tombstone is enough to pin Barry.

Rating: D. Pretty boring brawl for the most part here with Darsow not being interesting at all. Finlay was a decent enough midcarder but he needed more to work with out there. I’ve never understood the mentality behind booking these meaningless matches in the first hour. You have an uncontested hour with no Raw and this is how you use it?

Clips of Flair returning last week.

Clips of Warrior’s speech from earlier because wrestling fans can’t remember something from fifteen minutes ago.

Nick Dinsmore vs. Wrath

Dinsmore is more famous as Eugene. Wrath throws him into the corner to start and sidesteps a dropkick. Meltdown ends this squash quick.

More Flair clips.

Video on Goldberg vs. Page which plays up a battle of the finishers. The match is for the WCW/NWO World Title, making me shake my head all over again.

Rick Fuller vs. Rick Steiner

It’s a brawl to start with Steiner pounding Fuller down to the mat. Steiner catches a jumping Fuller in a kind of belly to belly, setting up the bulldog for the pin in less than a minute. That was a dominant squash.

Steiner gets on the mic and says Goldberg is 146-0 but he’s 9000-0 against his brother.

The evil laughter starts up again.

Here’s the Black and White to continue the nonsense. Hogan wants to take it to the streets with Warrior so he says come to the ring and face him like a man. Warrior appears on the stage and says follow him if you have the courage. The Black and White goes after him and after pausing for the smoke, goes into Hogan’s locker room and finds a burning Warrior symbol and Disciple unconscious in the bathroom. Smoke fills the bathroom and Disciple disappears.

We look at Saturn telling the Flock to go their own ways last week.

Kanyon/Raven vs. Los Villanos

Raven says loyalty is dead and someone has to pay before blasting the Villanos in a fast start. Kanyon loads up a powerbomb on IV with Raven adding a neckbreaker, only to drop IV on the back of his head, causing the match to stop immediately. Raven was checking on IV and looked terrified so I can’t imagine this was fake.

The trainer comes out to check on IV and you can hear the fans gasp as replays are shown. Thankfully it looks like it was his shoulder that landed first. IV is able to sit up and very slowly walk away from the ring, getting a nice ovation from the crowd.

We see Disco Inferno trying to make weight for a Cruiserweight Title shot tonight.

Hour #2 begins.

Alex Wright comes out and shouts in German before saying we’re dumb Americans. He speaks very slowly for us, saying that he can’t stand America and Diamond Dallas Page is even worse.

Alex Wright vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is taping his hands up on the way to the ring. Alex stomps him down in the corner to start and knocks him back with a dropkick. A missile dropkick puts Page down again but Page counters a whip into the corner and loads up a belly to back suplex. Wright backflips out but walks into the Diamond Cutter for the pin. I think Page was supposed to catch him during the backflip but couldn’t get his hands up in time, which is hardly a criticism as that would have been very difficult and the way they did it looked fine.

Post match Page says he and Goldberg are different animals with Goldberg rocketing to the top while Page took forever to get there. He’s bringing everything he has at Halloween Havoc and will make Goldberg feel the BANG.

The Nitro Party winner of the week is from a bunch of guys who forgot to include their names.

More Nitro Girls.

Clip of Ernest Miller being arrested last week.

The Cat vs. Lenny Lane

Lane is given five seconds to leave without getting beaten up and actually takes Miller up on the offer. Cat stops him and kicks Lane in the chest before talking even more trash. Another kick to the face drops Lenny as Scott Hall staggers down the aisle. Miller has a chinlock on Lane as Hall says it’s party time Boston style. Dusty Rhodes returns from wherever he’s been for the last few months to yell at Scott, saying he’s throwing his career away. The Feliner ends Lane to wrap up the stuff in the background. We only saw about 45 seconds of the match.

Disco is exhausted and covered in sweat but has made weight. So Matt Hardy in 2003 was ripping off Disco Inferno?

Back from a break with more evil laughter.

We look at Jericho getting lost over and over again. Last week Jericho thinks Goldberg is scared of him and declares himself a unified world champion.

Jerry Flynn vs. Saturn

Saturn easily takes him down before hitting a Thesz Press and a quickly broken choke. Flynn tries a leg lock but Saturn is in the ropes before too much damage can be done. Saturn kicks him in the head a few times and loads up a table on the floor. Flynn hits a nice dive to take Saturn out but walks into a northern lights suplex, which Tony says is out of Curt Hennig’s playbook. More kicks from Flynn set up a cross armbreaker but Saturn rolls out. They head outside and Flynn accidentally kicks the post twice in a row, setting up a splash through the table and the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D+. WAY too much offense from Flynn here, especially so soon after Saturn’s big win over Raven. It was nice to see Flynn do anything other than kicks, but at the end of the day he’s still the same stupid mullet wearing karate guy he’s always been. Why the table spot wasn’t a DQ is never explained.

Monday Night Jericho ad, featuring voiceovers talking about people becoming Jericholics. The lights come on to reveal that it’s Jericho himself in a funny bit.

Here are Bagwell and Scott Steiner to brag about their physiques and make fun of Boston for losing everything. They’ve been sent here to find out where Bret Hart stands and demand that he come out here right now, fake knee injury or not. Bret comes in for the showdown but the NWO guys beat him down until Sting makes the save. Rick Steiner sneaks up on Scott and gets in a few good shots as Bagwell runs.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Kidman

Disco is defending but is already tired coming in. Kidman has no sympathy and dropkicks him down for a fast two and a slingshot legdrop gets the same. A nice running clothesline gets two more but Disco grabs a headlock to get a breather. They run the ropes and Disco collapses from exhaustion. Kidman hooks a chinlock and drops another middle rope legdrop for his fourth two count before we take a break.

Back with Kidman still in control as Lodi comes to the ring with signs saying they need to reform the Flock. Disco uses the distraction to hit a quick jumping piledriver but takes too long to cover and only gets two. He slams Kidman down but stops to dance, wasting even more energy. A middle rope elbow misses and Kidman comes back with a middle rope bulldog for two. Disco comes back with a neckbreaker but stops to dance before trying a powerbomb, allowing Kidman to counter into a faceplant. Kidman scores with sitout spinebuster and the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: B-. Nice match here with a good one night angle to back it up. It wasn’t anything original or ground breaking but it gave the match an extra dimension and made Disco look a bit better. It also helps that Kidman was only in trouble once off that piledriver which only connected because of a distraction.

The evil laughter starts up again as Disco is still in the ring.

Nitro Girls with Tygress getting a solo.

More Flair stuff from last week.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Konnan

Konnan does his schtick and Chavo does the same thing, showing that he’s as loveable as Konnan is. Chavo thinks he should be in the Wolfpack too and wants to talk to Nash about it. Instead it’s Konnan taking him down with a pair of clotheslines and scoring with the low dropkick. Chavo bails to the floor for a meeting with Pepe before coming back with a very elaborate arm wringer before pulling on his trunks.

Konnan gets taken down by a dropkick and Chavo stops for a ride on Pepe. The delay lets K-Dawg come back with a gorilla press drop before sending him face first into the buckle. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Chavo fights back with a running forearm in the corner. Now it’s Chavo with a chinlock for a few seconds until we take a break.

Back with Konnan still in the chinlock as Heenan is talking a mile a minute. Chavo cranks on Konnan’s arms before missing a charge into the post to change momentum. Konnan takes him outside and whips him into various metal objects before bulldogging him down for two. The usual stuff finishes for Konnan.

Rating: D+. This match died after the break with both guys laying around and resting far too much. That’s the problem with having a guy like Konnan go long when he mainly wrestles in squash matches. Not a terrible match due to the comedy at the start but it didn’t work for the most part.

We see Eddie being sent to Japan last week.

Here are Liz and Bischoff with the latter being way too happy given what was happening with Disciple. Bischoff brags about building an empire and being responsible for everyone being in their seats tonight. He built up everything you see here and none of the credit can go to Ric Flair. Eric talks about all the mistakes Flair made last week and reminds Flair that just because he has a contract, it doesn’t mean he has the right to wrestle. Flair and Anderson should never wrestle again since this is Bischoff’s company and he gets to make the decision.

This brings out the Horsemen in black (save for Arn in stripes) to the AWESOME galloping horse music. Security stops the Horsemen in the aisle but Flair has a quick chat with Doug Dillinger and the Horsemen get to come to the ring. Flair can’t talk due to the ovation at first which brings a smile to my face. Bischoff lied when he said Flair wasn’t here and lied again when he said the Horsemen were dead. Flair goes through every member of the Horsemen and why they’re all great but says Bischoff gets to live tonight.

Only Anderson wants to get his hands on Bischoff worse than Ric does, and on his worse day he could roll Bischoff up, smoke him, then stomp on him like a cockroach. Bischoff offers Flair a free shot. Ric: “Yeah I want it and she wants Space Mountain but she’s not getting it tonight.” Flair says the only reason he won’t hit Bischoff is he doesn’t have another two million bucks.

Ric brings up Reid’s wrestling tournament that caused the original suspension (never mentioned on TV before I don’t think) so Bischoff can suck it. Bischoff has said that the Horsemen are too old but Flair says he’s just too good. Flair says he didn’t save his money but he made it by being the best. The only reason Bischoff is living like he is now is because of people like Flair, Sting, Luger and Dusty Rhodes.

Ric keeps ranting about selling out arenas from coast to coast while Bischoff was in a bathroom buying his first condom. Space Mountain may be the oldest ride in the park but it still has the longest line. While Bischoff is puffing his chest, why doesn’t he tell the people who introduced him to Hulk Hogan.

Bischoff says it was just because Flair wanted to carry Hogan’s bag. Ric calls Hogan a guy that went on fourth every night to beat the crowd and says the Horsemen will be in Norfolk for Thunder but Bischoff warns them not to show up. The Horsemen back Bischoff into a corner and show him the fingers to end the segment. No one can rant like Ric Flair, period.

Giant/Stevie Ray vs. Kevin Nash/Lex Luger

The graphic says Stevie Ray/Scott Hall which is due to Giant subbing in for the drunk Hall. Stevie and Luger start us off and do very little before Hall comes up to the announcers’ desk and wants to know why so many people want to see him fight Nash. Scott says there’s no alcohol policy in WCW and his back hurts from carrying Nash this many years. Luger stomps Stevie down in the corner as Hall nearly falls down while talking.

Hall comes down and gets on the apron before throwing the referee to the floor. Nash gets the tag as Tenay plugs a boxing show tomorrow night. Hall tries a right hand and falls down, allowing Giant to come in and beat down Nash. Luger cleans house with a chair and the match is thrown out. No rating due to the lack of action as this was more storytelling than wrestling.

Hall wants to fight Nash but falls to the floor on a charge. Nash is disgusted by what he’s seeing and says that he’s lost his best friend because he doesn’t know who Hall is anymore. Scott yells that he’s lost everything and Nash wasn’t there but Nash says he won’t fight for free. A challenge is thrown out for Halloween Havoc and I guess Hall accepts.

Here’s the Black and White for the final Warrior showdown of the night. Hogan says get Warrior out here so he can send him back to the promised land. Warrior shows up in the entrance and Disciple is behind him. Hogan is thrilled but Disciple turns around to reveal an OWN vest, sending Hogan into a rage as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty much a throwaway show with one good match out of ten. Even modern day Raw can give you a better ratio than that. The best part of the first hour were those right hands that Rick Steiner threw at Fuller. Let that sink in for a minute: some right hands, the most commonly used move in wrestling, were the best things in an hour of wrestling.

The Horsemen segment was good with Flair explaining his issues with Bischoff to the crowd who probably didn’t know most of the details. However, Bischoff didn’t come off as scared or intimidated in the slightest. He was defiant, bold and standing up to Flair, which makes the Horsemen look far less intimidating than they should. That’s the problem with Bischoff at the end of the day: he almost never got any punishment for what he did, save for the occasional moment like losing to Jay Leno or Larry Zbyszko about ten months earlier. Other than that, Bischoff gets to be this big macho guy who never gets what’s coming to him.

Finally there’s the big story of the week. Based on what we’ve seen since Fall Brawl, it’s very clear that the real main event of Halloween Havoc is Hogan vs. Warrior and Goldberg vs. Page is about five notches lower on the card. I understand the concept of a dream match being bigger than the world title once in awhile, but this is the fourth straight PPV (meaning every one since he won the title) where Goldberg isn’t in the featured match. The title is being treated like it’s an afterthought and that’s not good at any time. This company is on the verge of big trouble and the signs have been there for months.

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There are two of them.For reasons not quite clear, Antonio Cesaro is now known as just “Cesaro” and Big E. Langston is now just “Big E.”

 

I like the dropping of Antonio but I don’t get dropping Langston.  It gave Big E. the perfect three syllable name and sounded very good.  I can live with it but I’m not wild on it.

I’ve shifted a bit on this.At the Rumble, I was ok with Batista winning and getting the title shot at Wrestlemania.  Since then though, it’s pretty clear that things aren’t what they used to be.  Yeah Batista is in a big Hollywood movie this year, but the wrestling fans just do not care.  A lot of this is due to Bryan and Punk, as Batista just came back at the wrong time.  The fans want to see Daniel Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania and they want Punk back (though the chants were WAY weaker on Monday) and Batista just happens to be there around this time.

As of right now, they would be insane to put Batista in the title match as the only challenger.  He’s certainly a big name and worthy of being in the title hunt, but I think just bringing him back and immediately putting him in the title match in this environment was just asking for trouble.  Thankfully it does seem like the company is backpedaling a bit on him as Batista is barely getting any TV time.  Making the title match a three way would be acceptable, as I really don’t think the fans are as much anti-Batista as they are pro-Bryan.  There’s a future in WWE for Big Dave, but it’s not as the sole challenger for Randy Orton at Wrestlemania XXX.