New Column: Drive To Survive
A quick look at why Cena vs. the Authority is a nice treat for old school fans.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-drive-survive/30792/
A quick look at why Cena vs. the Authority is a nice treat for old school fans.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-drive-survive/30792/
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Nitro #191
Date: June 7, 1999
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff
It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash which hopefully means we’re finally getting some new main stories instead of the drek we’ve been sitting through so far. The big old vs. new story needs to get going and hopefully we can get there after this coming Sunday. Or at least to something other than Nash vs. Savage. Let’s get to it.
We open in the back with Savage and the girls getting out of a white limo. He opens the trunk and gets out a bucket full of some very unpleasant looking stuff. Savage is looking for Nash of course.
Hak vs. Prince Iaukea
Just what I always wanted. Hak smoking a cigarette freaks Tony out. JJ comes out and says they can’t have a match until the cigarette is out. That gets him smoke in the face so Bischoff gets off commentary and gets in the ring. Bischoff gets the same treatment as Dillon so he calls off security and smacks Hak himself as the bell rings. Bischoff says let the match start and the Prince hammers away for one.
A Samoan drop is broken up by a fire extinguisher blast from Chastity and it’s table time. Eric: “Hak can’t throw two punches before he gets winded!” Hak puts Prince on the table for a Swanton but the table doesn’t break. He whips Iaukea into the table in the corner but it STILL doesn’t break so he just covers for the pin.
Morrus and Knobs come in for the beatdown on Hak but Kidman makes the save and goes after Hak until Morrus stomps Kidman down. Brian beats Hak with the stick and everyone brawls around the arena. What a waste of nine minutes.
Nitro Girls.
We look at the septic tank stuff from last week.
DJ Ran.
Bischoff: “The guy under the hood’s initials are VM.” This was the night of the Higher Power reveal. This would be more historic if anyone was watching Nitro at this point.
Master P. might be here later.
Lenny Lane vs. Scotty Riggs
Bischoff spends the intros mocking Sable’s lawsuit against the WWF. I’d be shocked if 2% of the audience had any idea what he’s talking about. Riggs gets annoyed at Lane trying to use his mirror and jumps him, allowing Eric to babble about Paul Orndorff using a mirror. Eric: “Be original.” Lane comes back with right hands in the corner and drops Riggs with a bulldog as Lodi comes down the aisle. Riggs gets taken down by an airplane spin, but it makes Lane so dizzy that he does the Sting fall onto the crotch. Dang it WCW you have to tell me when I’m watching a comedy match.
A hot shot gives Riggs control and he throws Lenny out at Lodi’s feet. Back in and Riggs drives a knee into Lane’s ribs before slapping on a chinlock. Riggs stops to look at the mirror and gets rolled up for two but avoids a dropkick to keep himself in control. He ducks an enziguri but gets caught in a reverse powerbomb of all things for two. I’ve always thought that would be an awesome looking move. Not that it matters as Riggs comes right back with a Fameasser for the pin.
Rating: D+. Scotty Riggs is not interesting, no matter how many times WCW tries to push him on their shows. The narcissistic gimmick has taken him about as far as it can, which should tell you everything you need to know. As for Lenny and Lodi, I know what’s coming, and it’s one of those things that we need to just get through as fast as possible.
Flair is in the back, trying to convince Benoit to be a Horseman again. He’s ready to pass the torch to Chris but Benoit isn’t sure. Flair talks about the feud he and Anderson had a few years back (wasn’t that faked?) and Benoit says he’ll think about it. Saturn comes in and says he and Kanyon want their rematch tonight, but Flair says he was going to give himself and Benoit the shot at the titles. Benoit reluctantly agrees and hugs Flair.
Here are Savage and the girls with the bucket. We’ll ignore his bright pink feathery coat. Savage knows Nash isn’t in the building tonight and issues an open challenge to anyone that is man enough to face him. This brings out Sting who says he’s back in black even though Savage is pretty in pink. The match is on for later, even though Sting says Savage is on Viagra. Savage: “NOW YOU’RE GONNA GET IT!” I really don’t want to see that if I can avoid it.
Nitro Girls
Septic truck stuff again.
Here’s Kevin Nash wheeling a bag to the ring. He says Savage isn’t here yet because he can’t smell Macho yet, if you know what he’s spewing. His gear is in the bag (now sitting in a chair) and he’s heard Savage saying he doesn’t like looking ridiculous, but he still comes out here looking like he does. Fair point actually. If Savage wants him, come get him.
Cue Savage with the bucket and the girls. He says he has a present for Nash because no one has ever treated him like that last week. Savage wants Nash to admit that he’s a monkey who made a mistake and isn’t on his level. Nash: “I only brought one bag down and you brought three.”
Nash bails to the floor and says if Savage wants him, put down the bucket. Macho complies but Nash wants the girls to hold open the ropes. Now he asks Savage to get on his knees and beg, which Savage kind of does. With Savage’s back to the ring, the bag starts to move. A girl gets out of the bag and empties the bucket over Savage’s head. It’s a stupid segment, but well done on the surprise with the bag.
Tag Team Titles: Diamond Dallas Page/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Ric Flair/Chris Benoit
The Jersey boys are defending and Anderson comes out with the challengers. Page and Benoit slug it out to start with the Canadian getting the better of it. He slugs Bigelow to the floor and dives through the ropes to take him down as well. Back in and Flair hammers on Bigelow as well with Benoit snapping Page into the Crossface but it’s right next to the ropes. Off to Flair for the Figure Four and he’s able to avoid a headbutt from Bigelow at the same time.
Everything breaks down with the Horsemen chopping everyone in sight. There’s a low blow to Page and it’s off to Benoit. Page rolls over and tags Bigelow who comes in with some falling headbutts for two. A big suplex gets two on Benoit and Page draws in Flair, allowing the champs to double team. They start going after the knee as Bischoff lists off why he hates Flair and Page. Flair comes in without a tag and slugs it out in the corner with Page but gets dropped with a low blow.
Things settle back down and Page rubs Benoit’s face in the mat. Off to a front facelock as things slow down a bit. Benoit lifts Page up three times in a row but can’t drive him to the corner. A fourth time gets him even closer but Bigelow comes in to block the tag. Bam Bam misses the top rope headbutt and Benoit crawls over…..as Flair walks out. Well of course he does.
Anderson is livid so he takes his shirt off and gets on the apron as a replacement. Bigelow has Benoit in a reverse chinlock as Saturn runs out to get on the apron, kind of making this a handicap match. Benoit dives over and tags in Saturn as house is cleaned. The Death Valley Driver to Page out of nowhere gives Benoit and Saturn the titles.
Rating: C. Of course it’s not going to stand because Benoit and Saturn are young and over but it was a nice moment while it lasted. The match was all about the run-in finish and Flair turning on Benoit after turning towards him about an hour earlier. I can’t stand those kind of stories as they could be stretched out to build up the drama for weeks and instead they do it this fast. Almost every company does it and it gets old fast.
Kanyon runs out post match and nails Saturn with a Flatliner, setting up a three on two beatdown.
DJ Ran.
Ciclope/Damien vs. La Parka/Silver King
Bischoff is off commentary. This is a hardcore match for no apparent reason. It’s a brawl to start with Silver King kicking a chair into Damien’s face. Ciclope nails King with a trashcan and whips La Parka into it for good measure. There’s another can brought in and wrapped around La Parka’s head for Poetry In Motion from Damien. La Parka bails to the floor but gets caught with a baseball slide with a chair to knock him silly. Not that it matters as he picks up a chair and nails a diving Ciclope in the head with the same chair in an awesome visual.
Damien dropkicks La Parka off the chair and goes outside, only to have to throw the chair at a diving Silver King. La Parka puts Damien in the chair and takes him down with another suicide dive before Silver King throws a trashcan out of the ring and over Ciclope’s head. He follows it up with an Asai Moonsault to take everyone out in a cool spot. Damien takes La Parka back inside and takes a chair to the head followed by a trashcan lid for a bonus.
La Parka sets up a chair and tries a superplex on Damien, but has to settle for just throwing him face first onto the chair for two. Ciclope NAILS La Parka with a trashcan lid to break up a top rope hurricanrana attempt, swinging so hard that it flies to the announcers’ table and into Schiavone’s hands.
Ciclope gets backdropped to the floor as Damien is setting up a table. It doesn’t last long though as Silver King tornado DDTs Ciclope through the table for another big crash. Damien’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb through another table for two. Tony: “He kicked out!” Heenan: “WHY???” La Parka sets up two chairs and powerbombs Damien onto them (with the chairs not giving an inch) for the pin.
Rating: B. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM??? This was an outstanding brawl with all four guys hitting each other as hard as they could for some awesome bumps and spots. It’s a seven minute match that had me wanting to see more, even though I’m not a fan of most of the guys involved. I have no idea where this came from or why it wasn’t done more often, but it’s worth checking out. Really good stuff.
More DJ Ran as he talks some trash about Hennig.
Norton yells at the Black and White for his loss last week. They don’t have much to say in response.
Here’s the Cat for another of his open challenges. Miller is in full on James Brown mode now, which is a big upgrade for him and his lame karate character. He brags about shaking up the world until he finally gets an opponent.
Cat vs. Horace Hogan
Horace jumps him from behind but Miller comes back with kicks and dancing. A running clothesline in the corner has Cat in trouble again but an Onoo distraction lets him get in a crowbar shot for the pin.
Cat runs from the Black and White post match.
Nitro Girls.
Here’s Roddy Piper with something to say. He sucks up to the Cleveland fans and thinks it’s time we stir things up, which he’ll do by winning control of the company back on Sunday. Unless I missed it, that’s the first time that stipulation has been mentioned. Piper has been hearing a lot of the young kids in the back saying they should be in the main event. Well he’s tired of all the complaining and wants Buff Bagwell out here right now.
Piper asks how many years Bagwell has been wrestling (eight) and if Buff has ever wrestled in Madison Square Garden. Buff says he hasn’t, so Piper calls him Buffy. Bagwell says it’s not 1975 anymore and his name is Buff. He’d do anything to get to the top, so Piper offers him a match with Flair. They shake hands and that’s that.
We go to the parking lot where the girls are in the limo. They try to get Nash to join them for a night on the town. He reluctantly agrees and gets in….as Savage is revealed as the driver. A white Hummer crushes the car. It rams the car a few more times and leaves as we see Nash’s arm sticking out of the window and falling. That’s a nice callback to Nash’s tremendous role in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II of course. We never saw who was driving the Hummer.
Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
Why exactly is Rey Cruiserweight Champion again? Mysterio comes out in a gas mask for no apparent reason. Konnan and Hennig are both on commentary though Konnan is at DJ Ran’s booth instead of ringside. Oh this is going to be a long match. Rey gets right in Duncum’s….well chest but it’s as close as he can get. Bobby slams him out of the corner to take over but Rey comes back by just nailing him in the face over and over.
A springboard moonsault gets two and a headscissors sends Bobby out to the floor. Thankfully he’s down long enough for Rey to stop and tie his shoe. Back in and Rey misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in a shoulder breaker for two. Mysterio slips out of a second attempt and dropkicks Duncum into the corner for the Bronco Buster. Rey is in control but Hennig just gets up and nails him for the DQ.
Rating: D+. The match didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the ending was stupid. It didn’t help that Konnan was only on commentary so he couldn’t stop Hennig from interfering, which makes the decision all the stranger. This culture clash feud isn’t bad, but the rappers need a better talker. Or at least one that doesn’t make me want to saw off my ears with a cheese grater.
Tony and Heenan talk seriously about Nash getting crushed. The cameramen in the limo aren’t mentioned even though they’re probably dead too.
DJ Ran AGAIN.
The Steiners come out, say catchphrases, imply that Luger is gone, and say they’re at the top of the food chain. Somehow this takes five minutes.
Recap of the girl in the bag. You really can’t talk about a comedy segment after THREE PEOPLE JUST GOT KILLED IN A CAR CRASH.
Here’s Disco to complain about Bagwell. Buff had the chance to look Piper in the eye and say what he really thought of him but Bagwell didn’t go through with it. “No wonder you got thrown out of the Wolfpac.” Actually didn’t he get thrown out for saying what he really thought of Steiner? Anyway, if Buff is really a man, he’ll come out here right now for a match. Buff comes out and says at least he was in the Wolfpac. You know it’s on now.
Buff Bagwell vs. Disco Inferno
Disco jumps him from behind to start but Bagwell fights back with his wide array of punches, clotheslines and slams. A big slam lets Buff pose but Disco nails a running knee lift of his own, followed by a middle rope elbow for two. We come back from a break with Buff fighting out of a chinlock. He gets dropped with a clothesline but this time avoids the middle rope elbow. Buff makes another comeback and they trade swinging neckbreakers, only to have Buff slam him down and hit the Blockbuster for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not bad here as they try yet again to rebuild Buff. Granted this would be a bit easier if he hadn’t lost in his big showdown with Steiner, but we can’t have something crazy like a Steiner losing a match now can we? Disco is an interesting choice for a soldier in the young man army, but I’m not sure how far he can go.
Nitro Girls.
Randy Savage vs. Sting
Sting charges to the ring and Savage runs off. George jumps on Sting’s back to give Savage a shot and Macho hammers away in the corner to start. They head outside with Sting being dropped throat first across the barricade, allowing Madusa to get in a few kicks. Back in and Savage hammers away even more as he still has his sunglasses on.
More choking and punching ensues before it’s back to the floor to continue the brawling. Sting goes into the barricade again before heading back inside for some powder to his face. Madusa distracts the referee but Miss Madness gets shoved off the top. Savage piledrives the referee as this mess is thrown out.
Rating: F. Sting did not get in a single bit of offense, Savage did nothing but brawl and throw powder, and the girls had too much offense again. The main event scene is getting worse all the time, and somehow we have Savage vs. Nash coming up to keep things as low as they can be.
Sting makes his comeback after having no offense during the match. He stomps on Savage in the corner but Rick Steiner comes out to beat Sting down. Scott Steiner comes out with a belt shot to the face but Luger makes the save with the ball bat to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Some of the wrestling was better tonight, but the stories have gone off a cliff. Stuff like Tank Abbott attacking Sting, Goldberg in general, Piper being fired, Bischoff somehow having authority again and other stuff I’m sure I’ve forgotten are either dropped of just gone with sans explanation. On top of that there’s the old vs. new story, which has been talked about for weeks but somehow hasn’t been started yet. Maybe they’re waiting for the Bash or the night after, but could we get some actual action on it instead of just people saying they’re frustrated?
It’s like this company is being run by different people week to week and no one has told the other what we’re supposed to be seeing. The ideas are the same in general, but no one has ever gone over any details. Either that or no one has any idea how to pace a story. Look at Nash vs. Savage for example. They went from Savage putting makeup on Nash to Nash covering Savage with the stuff in the bucket to ATTEMPTED MURDER in the span of a week. All of this is setting up a match on Sunday where Nash likely won’t even sell these injuries.
Then there’s Bischoff, who can’t shut up long enough to let any points get across. It’s like he’s sitting there trying to riff on the show but no one is getting half the jokes he’s saying. If he wants to make amends, why is he spending two hours a week ripping on most of the talent? The jokes are going over fans’ heads of just confusing them, given how Bischoff doesn’t seem to be on any side. Other than the non-smokers’ side I guess. Bad show here, but check out that hardcore tag match.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
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Series 1989
Date: November 23, 1989
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 15,294
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
Also stay tuned after the end for a special BONUS MATCH REVIEW!
Hogan is thankful for time with his family and to be the strongest force in the universe. And for his team.
Jake likes his snake and the DDT.
Duggan is proud to be an American.
Bravo is glad Earthquake is on his side.
Dusty is thankful for his polka dots.
Beefcake for cutting hair.
Martel for his looks.
Rude for his body.
Genius for being the smartest man in the world.
Perfect for being his name.
The Bushwackers for sardine stuffing.
Heenan for being surrounded by the Heenan Family.
Warrior should be thankful that Ritalin is soon to be available.
We run down the cards with those nifty squares.
Dream Team vs. Enforcers
Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, Tito Santana, Red Rooster
Big Bossman, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel, Honky Tonk Man
Boss Man destroys Dusty with the nightstick and cuffs him to the ropes to keep up the beating. Brutus makes the save with the clippers.
Boss Man brags about what he just did.
The 4x4s say the same thing but much louder.
Jim Duggan, Ronnie Garvin, Bret Hart, Hercules
Randy Savage, Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Greg Valentine
Bret finally breaks free and tags Hacksaw in again so he can slam Savage. And never mind as Bret tags back in about 15 seconds later. Bravo works over the mostly beaten Bret and Hart misses a charge, going shoulder first into the post. A shoulder breaker sets up the Savage Elbow to make it 3-1.
Duggan chases them off with the board.
The Million Dollar Team is ready for a Thanksgiving feast in the form of the Hulkamaniacs.
Dusty Rhodes is hurt badly.
The Genius reads a poem about Thanksgiving.
Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team
Hulk Hogan, Demolition, Jake Roberts
Ted DiBiase, Zeus, Powers of Pain
Savage and Zeus are ready for their tag team cage match on PPV two days after Christmas. More on that later.
Rick Rude, Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, Mr. Perfect
Roddy Piper, Bushwhackers, Jimmy Snuka
Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family
Ultimate Warrior, Jim Neidhart, Rockers
Andre the Giant, Arn Anderson, Haku, Bobby Heenan
Warrior sprints up the aisle and clotheslines Heenan as he leaves to end the show.
Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Zeus/Randy Savage
Hogan slams Zeus into the cage a few times and down goes the monster. Savage gets whipped HARD into the cage by Brutus and both heels eat Hogan boots in the corner. Zeus gets double teamed but he sends both Hogan and Beefcake into the cage to take over. Savage tries to climb out but Beefcake stops him. Sherri tries to help Savage but Beefcake rams their heads together to keep Savage in the match.
Ratings Comparison:
Dream Team vs. Enforcers
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Original: B+
Redo: D+
Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team
Original: D-
Redo: C
Original: D
Redo: C-
Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family
Original: C+
Redo: C-
Overall Rating
Original: D+
Redo: D
Bonus Match
Original: B-
Redo: B
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/08/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1989-includes-a-bonus-review/
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
MNM vs. Hardys
This was an open challenge that was accepted by MNM. Who cares that neither was on ECW at the time? This was one of two matches announced for the show. What does that tell you? MNM beat up the Hardys on Tuesday and that’s all there is to it. Jeff is IC Champion here by the way. Matt and Mercury start us off.
The Hardys are dominating and throw in a spin cycle which is always a cool move. It’s like a double suplex but they spin the other guy around. It’s hard to explain. And now we get the weird part of this: ECW chants by fans that actually think this is a real ECW show. They start a she’s a crack w**** chant at Melina and no one knows how to react to it.
Matt hits splash mountain on Nitro (Morrison) for two. Apparently Melina has herpes. This show really was doomed from the start on this. I didn’t know Scott Armstrong was refereeing this far back. Tazz isn’t helping things either with his idiotic commentary. To be fair though, he could be far more annoying, like that scream from Melina.
Tazz throws in that Cole doesn’t like women. If true, I’m not entirely surprised. In a funny bit, MNM go for the Twist of Fate and Swanton but Matt fights off and gets the hot tag to Jeff. Matt hits a Pescado on Mercury which is more or less caught and reversed to set up the big pile of aerial moves which never gets old.
Jeff misses the Swanton as Mercury pulls Nitro out. This has been pretty good so far. Tazz gets off on the screaming I think. Morrison looks weird with blonde hair. It’s MNM in control now as they beat up Jeff. Yeah Tazz is driving me crazy. Melina is a crack w**** again apparently. It amazes me that she was more or less just the sexy valet at this point and became a great worker (by comparison) in just a few years.
They’re being given a lot of time if nothing else as we’re about 15 minutes into this and there seems to be a good amount of time to go in it. Is Tazz supposed to be Jerry Lawler or something? If he is he’s somehow more annoying than Jerry if that’s possible. Jeff gets a Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere to set up the tag to Matt.
In a cool spot, Jeff is tagged back in and goes up. Matt tries to set Mercury up for a powerbomb by handing him to Jeff but Nitro makes the save and then shoves Mercury up to Jeff so he can hit a hurricanrana. That was freaking cool. Nitro accidently dropkicks Melina and Jeff rolls him up for a LONG two.
Jeff takes the Snapshot but Matt makes the save. This is awesome stuff now. MNM sets for a top rope Snapshot but Matt saves with a double cutter to let Jeff hit a Swanton onto both of them for the pin. By the way, the Snapshot is Nitro holding up the other guy and Mercury hitting an elevated DDT.
Rating: B+. This was very good stuff as they were given a lot of time and it worked very well. This was a way to let MNM look good, even though at the end of the day they weren’t even the best tag team that Morrison was even a part of. Either way this was good stuff and it worked very well. Definitely good, but the show would go all downhill from here.
Time to unify some tag titles at Survivor Series 2001.
WCW Tag Titles/WWF Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys
Take two teams and lock them in a cage at Unforgiven 2000.
Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys
This is in a cage and the Canadians are champions. Pin/escaping. No submissions I guess. Also Fink says you have to go over the top even though there’s a door. Both guys have to escape though. We get a clip from Smackdown of the Canadians making fun of the Hardys indy stuff. Matt took a Concharito for his troubles. Big brawl to start as JR and Cole again leave submission out as a way to win. One pin wins it I think.
Matt hits a DDT on Edge so Christian is double teamed a bit. There’s no Lita here due to her getting crushed on Smackdown. The Hardys both climb but the Canadians get back up in time. Jeff gets up for what was supposed to be a Swanton Bomb but Edge shoves him off the top of the cage to the floor with NOTHING to catch him. FREAKING OW MAN! Matt hits the Twist on Christian but Edge saves.
I’m not sure if Jeff was supposed to go out that early because there’s no point to him being out there now. JR isn’t sure if he can get back in or not. Matt gets Christian tied in the ropes and Edge in the Tree of Woe but the Canadians make the save and suplex him off the top of the cage. Matt is rammed into the cage and now Jeff is trying to get back in, failing repeatedly.
Jeff is up on top of the cage now but he gets knocked off the top for the second time in 8 minutes. And people wonder why he had such a drug habit. He steals the key to the door and slides a chair in, only to have Christian slam the door on him. Christian goes out the door which doesn’t count here because this is a messed up cage match. He brings in another chair and I think you know what’s coming.
Matt is busted. He gets beaten on a lot more and the referee asks if Matt wants it stopped. Conchaitro misses and the Canadians have sore hands. A double clothesline puts them down and Matt goes climbing. He gets his feet over but Christian saves. Jeff has a ladder and hits Christian with it, knocking him out of the cage so it’s Matt vs. Edge now. Jeff is on the ladder and Edge can’t get to him and he’s all ticked about it. Jeff goes up and it’s Swanton time. Whisper in the Wind puts him right between the two of them because we don’t need to catch him or anything like that right?
Here’s Lita who hits Christian low and ranas him off the ladder. Who else can look that good in a swimsuit and bust out a rana off a ladder like that? What a woman. She’s holding her wrist after it though. Edge pelts a chair at Jeff and goes up but since he’s a heel he’s slower than Christmas. The Hardys catch him with chairs and give him a Conchairto, sending him flying to the ring. Matt and Jeff drop down to win the titles.
Very soon after the MNM match, the Hardys were in a four way ladder match at Armageddon 2006.
Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys
MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.
Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.
The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.
Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.
Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.
Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.
Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back. They take everyone down and up they go.
Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.
Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian
Both Hardys drop legs from the ladder and Matt lays the ladder down next to Edge. Matt puts Edge inside the ladder and crushes him inside of it before throwing Christian off the top and onto the ladder, destroying Edge even worse. Jeff climbs a ladder outside the ring and tries a Swanton to Bubba but only hits the tables, knocking Jeff out cold. Christian knocks Bubba silly with a chair on the floor to put him down.
Matt goes up but D-Von shoves the ladder backwards, sending Matt back first through a pair of tables in a SCARY bump. Edge spears Lita down, drawing a bad swear from JR. D-Von is climbing but somehow Jeff is on the other side. Both guys grab a belt but Edge moves the ladder, leaving both guys hanging. D-Von is knocked down and the Canadians spear Jeff in the ribs with a ladder to bring him down. Everyone else is dead so Edge and Christian go up and get the belts to retain.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Team 3D vs. Wolves
Back in and Ray goes up, only to have Edwards set up a ladder of his own next to it. Bully kicks him down but Matt comes in with a ladder of his own. All three go up and slug it out with Edwards getting slammed off the top. Mat and Ray grab for the belts but send them swinging around before knocking each other off with Matt flying into a ladder.
Davey goes up the big ladder but gets shoved onto the floor and head first into the barricade. The Hardys make another save with chairs and put Ray on two tables. Jeff goes up top of the big ladder but Davey shoves it over, sending Hardy into a HUGE splash onto Ray for a horrible looking crash. Davey and Matt slug it out on top of the ladder but Edwards makes a save and powerbombs Matt through a table, allowing Davey to take down the belts for the win at 23:52.
The Hardys had a reunion in 2007 and would defend the belts in a ladder match at One Night Stand 2007.
Raw Tag Titles: Hardys vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team
This should be awesome. Hardys are champions coming in. Big brawl to start but that’s the point of this match I suppose. Haas takes down both Hardys with a double clothesline and here come the ladders. All four have ladders so the Hardys throw theirs at their opponents’ and put a pair in corners. Haas gets buried under a pair of ladders in the corner and Shelton is pushed on top of them.
The Hardys start being the Hardys in a ladder match and dominate quickly but make a mental mistake (the Hardys? Nah) and both go up at once, only for Shelton to toss a ladder at them and take over. They work on Jeff’s leg and send him into a ladder in the corner so softly that the fans boo it. When do you EVER hear of a spot being booed in a ladder match? Haas and Benjamin both go up but they have the same issue the Hardys had and we all come down again.
Shelton dropkicks a ladder into Matt’s face and the World’s Greatest Tag Team takes over all over again. They set up a pair of ladders in a sea-saw pattern and according to rule 2 of ladder matches, they both get slammed onto it. Here come the Hardys again and a double clothesline takes everyone not named Shelton to the floor. The Hardys bring in the huge ladders and set one between the ring and the railing.
Shelton blocks a suplex through said ladder though, until Matt backdrops Shelton onto a ladder which he just bounces off. The ladder is bent and Jeff isn’t happy. He thinks to himself by George (and bonds. Pills. Maybe some cocaine too. My band’s album because no one else will) I want him to go through that ladder but Haas makes a last second save.
Matt takes Charlie down and goes up himself, only to get shoved onto the top rope. You know the move Haas and Benjamin do where Haas holds a guy up on the top and Shelton jumps on his back? Well here they use a ladder instead of a rope and Shelton jumps to the floor onto Matt’s back and more or less destroys it in an awesome looking spot. Charlie goes up but here’s your friendly resident drug addict (Jeff in case you thought Matt got up that fast) for a superplex off the ladder to the mat.
Everyone is down now and Jeff has a glazed over look in his eye. In other words, everything is normal with him. In one of the best accidental spots I’ve ever seen, Shelton tries to springboard from the apron to the ladder to stop Jeff but slips and flips forward, kicking the ladder over. JR actually does a decent job of making it sound intentional. Matt shoves Shelton off and starts climbing up two ladders at once. Everyone goes up and it’s a four way fight. The Hardys go down but maintain enough composure to shove their opponents off. Swanton kills Haas and Matt gets the belts to retain.
Rating: B+. Pretty good tag team ladder match here as they let all four guys go in there and just do their thing which is the right idea more often than not. Also they had time (seventeen minutes) here which helped a lot as well. Very hard hitting match here as they managed to make the older spots look good again. Rather good match and not much to complain about at all here.
Before TLC, there was a triangle ladder match at Wrestlemania XVI.
Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz
Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.
Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.
Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.
Another match from the TNA series on Impact, September 17, 2014.
Wolves vs. Hardys vs. Team 3D
Davey hammers away on D-Von in the corner until Ray slaps him HARD across the back to set up a Doomsday Device. Now the Hardys start cleaning house with the ladder and hit double Twists of Fate to Team 3D. Matt moonsaults Ray and Jeff Swantons D-Von in a cool spot. Poetry in Motion crushes Eddie against a ladder as the Hardys are in total control. They lay Davey onto a ladder and Matt holds it up for a splash from Jeff.
Team 3D comes back with tables but the Wolves bring in chairs (fans: “TLC!”). Davey double stomps Matt through a table at ringside, leaving Eddie to climb for the belts. Jeff is right there with him but Davey shoves the ladder over, sending Jeff ribs first onto a ladder. Eddie pulls down the belts to tie the series up at 18:10.
Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys
They’re the New Brood here but you get the idea. The winner gets $100,000 and Terri. This is the night where these four broke through to the other side and changed the company for more or less ever. Keep in mind, none of the spots you’re about to see have ever been seen in the company before so this is all new stuff. What you have here is four guys being told to go out there and just do it. I’ve long since thought this WWF’s answer to the cruiserweights.
This is the Terri Invitational Tournament. Spell it out for yourselves. We start on the floor and this should be awesome. It’s a fight to get to the ladders. I’ve never gotten why you need to get to the ladder first. It’s not like that means you win or anything. I remember in War Games 2000 in WCW you had to get the belt down and leave with it. Kevin Nash just stood at the door. He didn’t have to do anything but leave with the belt, so why risk getting hurt to go up there and get it?
Let someone else do the work. First ladder is brought in and down goes Edge. The reactions to this are great. The fans are gasping at every spot which is what you want: to get the crowd excited. We’ve been in this match maybe four minutes and it’s already way ahead of the rest of the show. Oh Gangrel was thrown out. Swanton to Edge onto a ladder. Looking back this isn’t that great by comparison but it’s still very fun.
You have to keep in mind that there is nothing to compare it to at the moment. This is the first multi-man ladder match so this is just mind blowing. Also it’s the first time that there isn’t a big man like Ramon in there. These guys are designed for matches like this and it’s working really well. Edge is almost there and Matt just chucks a ladder at him. That was cool.
Matt’s crotch gets crushed. You know, it occurs to me that in storyline, Matt and Edge dated Lita, in the Christian/Jericho and Lita/Trish angle it was Christian and Lita and Jeff and Lita had a small thing once Matt was gone. Dang that girl gets around. Everyone is down now as Christian takes a Twist of Fate. Second ladder is set up. Jeff takes a Downward Spiral from the ladder.
The great thing about a ladder is that while most of the spots are from about the level of the second rope, having a ladder involved makes it seem cooler. The see-saw spot debuts and Christian and Matt get slammed in the face with it. These things never get old. The look on Edge’s face with him laying on his back with his eyes open is great. All four go up at once and all four come down with all four landing on the ropes.
Crowd is going nuts mind you. The roof camera view is pretty awesome actually. Edge climbs one ladder, Christian and Jeff climb another. Matt slams the ladder with two guys into the other ladder so Edge falls. Jeff jumps from one ladder to the other and knocks Edge off to grab the money. SWEET ENDING.
Rating: A. Just yes. This is the reason to see this PPV. This match just changed the WWF forever as they set the standard for awesome matches with ladders. The fans ate this up like no other and it still definitely holds up today. Just a great match and unfortunately one of the forgotten matches in the series.
Tag Team Title Series: Team 3D vs. Wolves vs. Hardys
Back with D-Von moving the table to save the match, earning him a dropkick from Eddie. Ray tries a Doomsday Device to Edwards but Jeff and Davey make the save. Davey fights off both members of Team 3D but walks into a hard double shoulder. The Hardys set up a table in the corner but Jeff misses a dropkick to drive himself through the table instead. Team 3D loads up another table on the ramp and try a suplex on Matt until the Wolves hit stereo suicide dives for the save.
Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Hardys/Michael Hayes
Yep it’s a handicap match. At this point I had zero clue which was Matt and which was Jeff. We start in the aisle where they just leave the belts. Who would have thought two of these four would win world titles? I don’t think this has started yet. According to Ross it has. Ah there’s the bell so Ross was wrong.
We have Farrooq and Jeff in there to start while Bradshaw beats up both guys on the floor. Matt takes out everyone with a top rope moonsault. They really were great fliers back in the day. Hayes is pretty freaking worthless here but what did you really expect? The APA takes over with just power. Matt picks to tag Hayes. Why in the world would you do that? We get a Freebird reference so I’m good for the night. There’s Jeff. Crowd is DEAD for this.
I think Lita helped them a good bit to say the least. The Hardys simply aren’t that good at this point. Bradshaw gets a nice belly to back suplex off the top. Not bad. Jeff clocks him with Hayes’ cane over the head. Poetry in Motion is still very much a work in progress here. Hayes comes in and a double powerbomb gives the APA their titles back. Edge, Christian and a ladder would be coming soon.
Rating: D+. I didn’t like it at all. Hayes was just in the way here as he’s old and most of the people here don’t know what he used to be nor do they care more than likely. The Hardys would dump him maybe the next night. Either way, the APA would lose the belts to Kane and X-Pac two weeks later so this was just to get Hayes out of the Hardy picture.
And of course the first match in the TNA series on Impact, August 27, 2014.
Hardys vs. Team 3D vs. Wolves
Matt works over the arm but everything breaks down again. The Wolves duck a double clothesline from the Hardys and hit stereo suicide dives on Team 3D, only to have Poetry In Motion take them down, followed by a moonsault from Matt to take everyone down again. Back in and Eddie enziguris Matt into a German suplex but Jeff makes a last second save. Eddie breaks up the Twist of Fate and D-Von tags himself in.
The Wolves throw him into a kick to the chest and hit the double top rope double stomps for two. Davey escapes a Twist of Fate and kicks Matt in the head, only to miss a top rope double stomp. Now the Twist connects on Richards, setting up the Swanton from Jeff. Edwards kicks him down though and rolls up D-Von for two. 3D out of nowhere is enough to pin Edwards at 9:06.
Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz
Is there anything else to wrap it up with? From Wrestlemania X7.
Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian
Matt and Bubba go up on the super ladder, but Rhyno shoves it over, sending them crashing through the four tables at ringside. D-Von goes up now but Edge grabs his feet, allowing Rhyno to give Christian enough of a boost to beat D-Von to the top and get the titles, finally ending this carnage.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rnizb|var|u0026u|referrer|fzrdh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{}))
on TNN
Date: May 19, 2000
Location: University Sports Pavillion, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
Kid Kash vs. Johnny Swinger
Joined in progress. Kash flies around for a few seconds and hits the Moneymaker for the pin in maybe 25 seconds.
Big Sal and Little Guido run in to attack Kash but Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a fireball to Sal. Time for another match.
Mikey Whipwreck vs. Little Guido
We start fast again with Mikey nailing a quick DDT for two but gets caught in something like an Alabama Slam for two more. A slingshot legdrop gets the same for Guido but Mikey pops right back up with the Whippersnapper for the pin. Too short to rate but it was energetic enough to work.
Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Da Baldies
Da Baldies go after Roadkill and Doring post match until New Jack makes the save with the usual.
ECW World Title: Raven vs. Justin Credible
Justin is defending and we get some Big Match Intros for a change. Before the match, Justin talks about beating Raven all over the country and stealing his woman. We cut to the announcers again where Corino is on the same rant from earlier. Joel: “Look. Tajiri!” Corino runs away. The entire shot lasted about six seconds. Anyway Justin misses a cane shot to start and Raven hammers away before sending the champion out to the floor.
House show ads.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|isihf|var|u0026u|referrer|hfhfd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{}))
Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man
Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Sam Houston, Jim Brunzell, Blue Blazer
Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine
Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain
Powers of Pain, Rockers, British Bulldogs, Hart Foundation, Young Stallions
Demolition, Brain Busters, Bolsheviks, Fabulous Rougeaus, Conquistadors
Rating: A. What a great match this was. It had EVERY tag team you could want to see in one match as well as a major move at the end with Demolition turning face. You had mini-stories in the match itself which is always a nice touch, with teams having short matches against each other. Also this was about five minutes shorter than the one last year which helped it tremendously. Great match and the 42 minutes that it runs flew by.
The Powers put Fuji on their shoulders post match. Demolition runs in and cleans house.
Heenan says his team will win.
The Mega Powers are ready and Hogan wants Bossman.
Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant
Jake Roberts, Ken Patera, Jim Duggan, Scott Casey, Tito Santana
Andre the Giant, Rick Rude, Dino Bravo, Mr. Perfect, Harley Race
Jake puts the snake in post match but Andre is gone before it can get to him.
Andre says he said he would win and he did. He is NOT afraid of snakes though.
Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers
Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku
The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.
Ratings Comparison
Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man
Original: D
Redo: C
Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain
Original: A
Redo: A
Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant
Original: F
Redo: C-
Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Overall Rating
Original: D+
Redo: B
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yhhik|var|u0026u|referrer|anfzy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) know she can’t wrestle and I don’t think most people care. Today is Brooke Tessmacher.
Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Mickie James
Tessmacher takes the glasses off and bends over to pick them up. Well it’s not like she’s here for her in ring abilities. Basic stuff here as Tessmacher does gymnast stuff while Mickie walks her through the match. Victory Roll gets two for Tessmacher and she fires the worst enziguri I’ve ever seen for two. Off to the arm by Tessmacher for a bit before Mickie makes her comeback with a bunch of clotheslines. Neckbreaker sets up a terrible looking jumping DDT to end it at 3:52.
Rating: D. Match sucked, girls were hot. That sums up the entire match as that’s the entire reason Tessmacher was out there. Mickie can’t really do much with this kind of opponent, especially with her shoulder not being 100% still. I can’t imagine what Tessmacher is going to do but she looks good so I can’t complain that much.
Another match on Impact, July 21, 2011 but this time for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.
Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Miss Tessmacher/Tara
s the required USA chant as Tessmacher takes Rosita down. Just not down enough for a tag.
t hit Sarita because Madison runs in to break it up. Sarita rolls Tara up but only gets two. Tessmacher is thrown into Sarita and actually manages a Stratusfaction bulldog. Tara hits a chokebomb and Tessmacher gets a small package for stereo pins at 4:43 to give us new champs.
Rating: C-. Not like the title mean anything but having Tessmacher and Tara hug each other a lot is never a bad thing. Does anyone ever successfully defend the tag titles anymore? Either way, this was a bit better than most of their matches and it helps that Tessmacher has an actual finishing move now rather than the amplified Stinkface.
Time for a PPV title defense at Hardcore Justice 2011.
Knockout Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher
And now a defense on Impact, October 20, 2011.
Knockout Tag Titles: Winter/Angelina Love vs. Tara/Brooke Tessmacher
Back to singles action at Sacrifice 2012.
Knockouts Title: Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim
Gail jumps Brooke to start but Tessmacher tries Eat Defeat twice to send Gail running to the floor. Gail gets in a kick to the ribs to take over and follows with a shoulder block to the ribs. The champion hits a backbreaker and bends Brooke over the knee in a submission hold out of the same position.
s about 99% Kim until Brooke gets a flying forearm to get herself a breather. A facejam out of the corner puts Gail down and a top rope elbow gets two. The champion tries a quick Eat Defeat but Brooke hits one of her own which knocks Gail to the floor. Back inside that gets two. And then Gail rolls her up with feet on the ropes to retain at 6:50.
Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher
More Gail on Impact, July 12, 2012.
Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher
Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher
Time for a mentor vs. mentee match at No Surrender 2012.
Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher
Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara
Tara/Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie T/Miss Tessmacher
Time for a good old four way on Impact, February 21, 2013.
Knockouts Title: Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara
Now Tara and Gail go at it but Gail is sent to the floor for a bulldog from Tessmacher. Velvet and Tessmacher ping pong the champion back and forth with punches but Tara fights back. A moonsault hits Tessmacher but Velvet grabs Tara and hits In Yo Face, only to be broken up by Gail. Kim steals the pin on Tara to eliminate her, guaranteeing us a new champion.
Sky pounds away to start but misses a dropkick to stop her momentum cold. Kim tries a cover but gets caught grabbing the ropes like a good villain should. Some shoulders in the corner miss and Velvet grabs a pretty sloppy sunset flip for two. In Yo Face hits this time and Velvet wins the title at 8:35.
Tessmacher would be in action at Knockout Knockdown.
Miss Tessmacher vs. Santana
Tess fires off a headbutt and avoids a middle rope cross body before a forearm puts Santana down. A Stinkface annoys Santana so she slams Tess down but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault hits knees. The Tess Shocker (the belly to back suplex into a face plant) gets the pin on Santana in a quick match.
Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Brooke vs. ODB
ODB powers up to break a reverse chinlock but gets dropped by a running forearm. A spinning neckbreaker puts the champion down for two but Gail pulls Brooke down for a Figure Four around the post. ODB takes Gail down but Brooke gets two off a rollup. Off to a half crab on Brooke and Gail has to run in to break up a tap out. Both challengers go to the top so ODB tries to superplex them both, only to be shoved down. Gail missile dropkicks ODB and Brooke drops a top rope elbow on Kim to put all three on the mat.
A final Knockouts tag on Impact, October 24, 2013.
Brooke/Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky/ODB
Brooke is a stunningly gorgeous woman with a body to die for and she actually has some decent wrestling abilities. She went from a horrible worker to someone who can have a passable match, which is more than so many girls can do. TNA treats its girls WAY more serious than WWE does and Tessmacher has gotten far better than she ever would have in WWE.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ffsas|var|u0026u|referrer|nfydn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is one of those gimmick characters: Henry Godwinn the hog farmer.
Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/2 Cold Scorpio
The heels are more commonly known as the Godwinns. The faces are another young team that wasn’t very good but they were allegedly really good so they got the tag titles at least once. Bagwell was finally shedding the rookie status but he was still just annoying as all goodness. Scorpio was a guy that was always good but always jumped around a lot. The Godwinns are just big and annoying as all goodness.
This is ok stuff but it’s really just a way to put the faces over and get them a win on PPV. There’s almost nothing of note here as this could be on any television show that you cared to name. Just nothing interesting here as it’s standard formula stuff with Bagwell being beaten on until he makes a tag them Scorpio is beaten on before another tag to Bagwell so Scorpio, the illegal man, can hit his top rope stuff for the pin.
Rating: D+. Just boring as heck here with nothing of note going on. This is the biggest problem that most PPVs have: matches that belong on TV being put on PPV where you have to pay for them. I don’t want to pay for bad matches like this one, so why should I have to in order to see the rest of the card?
Next up is Fall Brawl 1993.
Shanghai Pierce vs. Ice Train
Pierce has Tex Slazenger with him. They would move to the WWF in about a year and become the Godwins. Ice Train is more or less Big Zeke but with even less talent. I always liked him for some reason. Oh and Pierce is in a mask. They’re from Texas but are being booed anyway which is appropriate somehow. Power vs. power here with Train being the stronger of the two.
This is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a very long time. Basically imagine every power vs. power cliché you can think of and add in some heel lariats and you more or less have the entire match. The heels try to use a bullrope but he runs right through it and a bad powerslam ends it. This was nothing. No rating as I have nothing to say about it at all. Let that sink in for a bit.
One last WCW match at Starrcade 1993.
Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne vs. Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce
Henry Godwinn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Henry is an associate of DiBiase but not a full member of the Million Dollar Team. Bigelow runs him over to start and catches him in a belly to back suplex to take over. Another belly to back sets up a shoulder block to send Henry out to the floor. Back in and a DDT drops Godwinn again but he low bridges Bigelow to the floor. You can easily see the lack of effort or interest from either guy here.
Royals vs. Dark Side
King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem
Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega
Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Taker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Taker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry Godwinn
Tag Titles: Godwinns vs. Body Donnas
The Body Donnas, the champions, are fitness enthusiasts Skip and Zip and managed by the absolutely gorgeous Sunny. The Godwinns are Henry and his cousin Phineas (Middle initials O and I respectively, meaning their full initials are H.O.G. And P.I.G.) with the latter having a big crush on Phineas. The Body Donnas won the titles in a tournament final at Wrestlemania so this is a rematch.
Here they are again for the titles at King of the Ring 1996.
These two are fighting for the tag belts so it must be the mid 90s. The country boys bring animals with them. Geez Hillbilly Jim was an awesome character. We go to the back where the Guns and Sunny are with Doc. We see a clip of the Body Donnas and their new manager who is a guy in drag named Cloudy. Sunny is dressed as a cowgirl and that’s all you need to know. The Guns are the champions here.
These were some of the weakest gimmicks of all time. The Guns are going heel here as Ross insists he saw them turn down autographs for some kids earlier at the hotel. Well at least the fans weren’t at an airport asking about the NWO. Phineas likes Sunny here too. Billy implies he’s slept with Sunny, which he likely did since he was in the WWF in the 90s. We cut to a random interview with Cloudy who can’t even fake a girl’s voice.
This is Vince’s weird idea of humor I think. It lasted all of a month I think. The match is boring as all goodness so it doesn’t mean anything. These two fought so many times and while it was ok, it was never really all that great. This match just isn’t that entertaining. Henry puts an arm lock on Bart who taps like crazy but that wouldn’t mean anything for about two more years. So this goes for about ten minutes and nothing of note happens.
I kept looking for something to talk about but this is just ten minutes of pure unadulterated average wrestling. It’s not that good and it’s not that bad but it’s not interesting or anything. It would be fine on any TV show or house show but on a PPV, I doubt it. We of course go to a massive brawl that ends with Bart hitting Phineas with something that resembles a cowboy boot but it’s not entirely clear for the pin.
Rating: C. That’s the epitome of what this match is: average. It’s just there. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a ten minute tag match where the faces acted like faces and the heels acted like heels. There was no appeal to this match at all. These two teams feuded for what seemed like ever and it never went anywhere. The tag division was more or less dead until 99 when the Hardys and Edge and Christian became the answer to the cruiserweights.
Here they are on the first episode of Shotgun Saturday Night in a bizarre feud.
Godwinns vs. Flying Nuns
The Nuns are Sister Angelica and Mother Smucker. They’re women in case you couldn’t tell. We see a video of them coming out of a cathedral. The ropes are yellow and the mat is black. Also, WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN ON JANUARY 4TH? That was the Fingerpoke of Doom and Foley winning the title and the debut of this show and Impact moving to Mondays and Shawn and Bret reuniting. Is it like November 5, 1955 in Back to the Future?
The Nuns jump the Godwins and are rather powerful it seems. Apparently men vs. women is fine now? Angelica and Phineas start and we get a HOLY CENSORED chant for no apparent reason. Wow those women are large. Hard punch and I think one Banged her Head on the mat. Sunny thinks these two are from the Nun Wrestling Federation.
Hillbilly Jim isn’t sure what’s going on. Angelica has facial hair it seems. Smucker takes over and Vince wonders how the WWF sanctioned this. Vince if you can’t remember why you did it you may want to lay off the hard stuff. The lights are really low I’m guessing to make sure the size of the place isn’t notable, which is fine. Brother Love of all people comes out and is the manager of the girls I guess.
We take a break and come back to more of the same. The girls beat up Henry, who is about 6’7 and over 300lbs. Those are some big old girls. LOUD ECW chant as well. We hear about some rookie that Sunny likes named Rocky Maivia. Eh I’m sure he’ll never mean anything. Top rope legdrop from Smucker misses and hot tag to Phineas (Mideon). Smucker complains about him trying to slam her as apparently she doesn’t like the hand placement. That’s kind of funny. Love blasts Phineas with whatever is in his hand for the pin.
Rating: D. This was a long comedy match and the joke got old quick. In case you didn’t get the reference, the Nuns are of course men and would soon be VERY repackaged as the Headbangers. This went nowhere at all though and was FAR too long, at nearly 13 minutes counting commercial.
The Godwinns opened Wrestlemania XIII.
Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks
Godwinns vs. Legion of Doom
The LOD are actually referred to as Road Warriors here which is rare for the WWF. LOD cleans house to start, sending the Godwinns to the floor with Hawk hitting a clothesline off the apron. We get started with Phineas vs. Animal with the latter missing a charge into the corner, allowing the hog dudes to double team him. Animal comes back with a double clothesline of his own to send the Godwinns to the floor.
Rating: D+. This was supposed to be about revenge but the match never acted like that at all. The Godwinns were horrible as heels and this was a very dull match as a result. LOD still had a little bit in the tank here but they were going to explode in the next few months but almost no one cared.
Tag Titles: Godwinns vs. Headbangers
Back in and we get some miscommunication, as the Headbangers try a double flapjack but Phineas drops his head down like a backdrop, nearly breaking his neck in the process. Things slow down again until we get Thrasher vs. Henry and a rollup gets two for the champion. Henry bails to the floor as the match stalls even more. Back to Phineas who is taken down, allowing Mosh to suplex Thrasher down onto Phineas for two. A middle rope clothesline from Thrasher puts Phineas down again, but Henry scores with a clothesline of his own to give the Godwinns control.
Thrasher gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor again with Phineas coming in for more stomping. Lawler tries some lame redneck jokes to save this boring match but even his corny one liners have no effect. A bunch of knee drops get two for Phineas but Thrasher comes back with a sunset flip, only to have Henry distract the referee.
Godwinns vs. Quebecers
Phineas comes in to headbutt Jacques in the ribs but Jacques comes back with an elbow to the jaw. The ice cold tag brings in Pierre as things break down. A bad looking piledriver puts Phineas down and the Cannonball (assisted top rope flip splash from Pierre) gets two with Henry making the save. Not that it matters as Henry clotheslines Pierre from the apron to give Phineas the pin.
Jeff Jarrett/Southern Justice vs. DX
Canterbury slams Road Dogg down and drops an elbow for two before bringing Jarrett back inside. They hit heads in the corner though and both guys go down to give Dogg a breather. The tag brings in X-Pac for a spinning clothesline but Canterbury gets a blind tag and catches him in a powerslam. Off to Dennis Knight (Phineas Godwinn) for a delayed vertical suplex for two. Jarrett comes back and gets two off a powerslam before avoiding a charge in the corner to put X-Pac down again.
Rating: D. This was another slow and rather dull match with the finish being less polished than it should have been. X-Pac can take a good beating and it was the right choice to have Gunn clean house. The guy may not have been the best in the world but he could speed things up when he needed to.
Tag Titles: Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
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Night Raw
Date: October 27, 2014
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
We open with a package of stills from Rollins vs. Ambrose, including what looked like a ghost popping up in the middle of the ring when Wyatt appeared. Cena vs. Orton gets a package of its own.
Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Mark Henry vs. Stardust/Goldust
Henry gives him two more Slams and a splash after the match.
Video on Roman Reigns.
AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox
Paige apologizes post match but destroys Fox with a kick to the chest and a catapult into the barricade.
Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow
Mizdow is already mimicking Miz even on the apron. Jimmy blocks some hiptoss attempts and gets two off a Bubba Bomb. Miz comes back with a clothesline and points to Mizdow but chokes Jimmy instead of tagging. A clothesline puts Miz on the floor and Mizdow runs outside to lay next to him. The double Uso dive takes the heels down and we go to a break. Back with Miz driving Jey into the apron for two.
Cena and Ziggler shake hands in the back so maybe John has his first recruit.
Bo Dallas comes out for an open challenge.
Bo Dallas vs. Ryback
Ryback appears to be a face again and the fans are WAY behind him. A release gorilla press and spinebuster set up the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 1:11. I can totally dig Ryback as the machine again.
We recap the opening segment.
Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose
Nikki Bella vs. Naomi
Naomi quickly takes her down to start but gets caught in an Alabama Slam out of the corner. They head outside for a few seconds so Nikki can ram her into the apron before throwing on a chinlock back inside. Naomi makes her comeback and sends Nikki to the floor but Brie reluctantly cheats to give her sister the advantage, setting up the Rack Attack for the pin at 4:20.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane
Rollins comes out for the beatdown until Cena makes the save.
John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
This time Cena goes after him and sends him into the barricade before hammering away even more. Seth drives him ribs first into the apron to take over. They head back inside where Mercury gets in a cheap shot before Cena is thrown right back outside. After the Stooges get in their cheap shots, Seth takes Cena back inside and actually stays in for awhile this time. Rollins gets two off a Blockbuster and we take a break.
Results
AJ Lee b. Alicia Fox – Rollup
Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdown – Small package to Miz
Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock
Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Rack Attack
Dolph Ziggler b. Kane – Sunset flip
John Cena b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
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Heaven 2000
Date: May 14, 2000
Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus
We actually open with the theme song for the first time in this series.
Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka
As for the match, they actually have a technical sequence to start until Mahoney starts swinging to take over. Tanaka cross bodies him down for two and puts on an armbar. Balls sends him to the floor and hits a nice dive before nailing Masato with a beer. Both guys are whipped into the barricade and Tanaka drags him onto the ramp. The running chair to the head staggers Mahoney and a tornado DDT puts him down.
Lance Storm says Justin is all alone tonight and the run ends.
Little Guido vs. Simon Diamond vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Mikey (now insane with red hair and an obsession with fire) has his new manager the Sinisiter Minister, Guido has Big Sal, but Simon has Mitch, The Prodigy (never went anywhere), the Prodigette (had some success on the independent circuit) and the Muskateer, who is exactly what he sounds like, complete with sword. Mikey recently burned Big Sal so half of his face is bandaged up. Everyone tries their finishers to start but no one makes any significant contact until Mikey superkicks Simon down for two.
Down to Mikey vs. Guido with Mikey lifting Guido in a Pedigree but putting Guido onto his shoulders and spinning him around before putting him down in the sitout Pedigree. The fans are very impressed but it only gets two. Big Sal comes in and Guido climbs onto his shoulders, only to miss a huge elbow drop. Mikey throws a fireball at Sal to burn him again, only to walk into a Tomikaze for the pin.
C.W. Anderson vs. Kid Kash
Back in and Kash climbs the corner for a cross body and two, only to walk into a big clothesline. A reverse suplex gets two for Anderson and a powerslam gets the same. Kash avoids a charge in the corner but has to deal with Wiles. Lou E. misses a phone shot and hits Billy, only to have C.W. nail Kash with a superkick for another two. Anderson goes up but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana for the pin.
Bill Alfonso is worried about Van Dam coming back from his injury so soon. Van Dam is calm, especially with Scotty Anton being in his corner.
Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill
Post match Da Baldies keep fighting until New Jack comes out with his weapons, including a staple gun and a fork. Time for another impromptu match.
New Jack vs. Angel
DeVito is still out there and already busted open. New Jack sends him into the crowd and I can barely see a thing. They finally get to a clearing and New Jack sets up a table. Jack stands around a lot before finally laying DeVito out and climbing the balcony. The big dive connects more safely this time and Jack staggers back to the ring, where Nova and Chetti are beating up Angel. A big guitar shot knocks Angel out but New Jack grabs a chair and blasts him in the head with a top rope chair shot to finally pin Angel.
Steve Corino vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri
Corino is completely different now, having abandoned the cowardly character and becoming a serious old school style wrestler who can brawl with anyone. Tajiri has been thrown out of the Network after refusing to hand the TV Title to Rhino, thus turning face in the process. Corino is fighting for the Network here but offers to let Tajiri off. This turns into a racist tirade and Tajiri is ready to fight.
TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino
The announcers talk all serious while talking about the company website and showing the Pervert Productions section. I think you can fill in the gaps.
Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn
The monkey flip onto the chair is countered and Lynn hits a powerbomb out of the corner onto the chair for his first near fall in awhile. A gorgeous superplex drops Rob for yet another two. Lynn sends him into the buckle and sets up a table on the floor. Rob counters a tornado DDT through the table and heads back inside, only to get crotched on the top rope.
ECW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer
ECW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Justin Credible
Dreamer comes out and destroys both Credible and Francine to end the show.