Payback was last night and while a lot of stuff didn’t change, a lot of awesome stuff happened last night. Cena defeated Bray Wyatt last night in a match where I believe the feud was blown off. On top of that, we saw Shield destroy Evolution in a perfect sweep. The match wasn’t as entertaining as I was hoping it to be, but the whole thing worked very well. Tonight we start the road to Money in the Bank. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the six man tag last night.

Here’s Evolution to open things up. HHH says it’s always darkest just before the dawn but the funny things is everyone thinks Shield won. However, HHH never loses. It’s not over until the Shield no longer exists. Orton and Batista don’t seem as enthusiastic about this idea. HHH says Shield is over tonight but Batista takes the mic. He doesn’t want another match with Shield because it’s time for his one on one title shot that HHH promised.

HHH gets another mic and says he’s the boss. Batista doesn’t care about the plan because he wants the title shot he earned by winning the Royal Rumble. The boss says Daniel Bryan is injured and can’t compete so there can’t be a title match. “Even if I did, you’d probably choke anyway.” HHH apologizes before going on another rant about Shield. Once they’re gone, Batista gets what he wants. Until then though, no one gets anything. Batista understands and quits. For the first time since he returned, the fans cheer for Batista. HHH shouts a lot but Batista just walks out.

During the break Batista confirmed that he did, in fact, quit.

Rob Van Dam/Sheamus vs. Cesaro/Bad News Barrett

Cesaro throws Van Dam around to start but it’s quickly off to Sheamus for the top rope shoulder. A quick gutwrench suplex puts Sheamus down but he comes out of the corner with a clothesline. The ten forearms to the chest are blocked and it’s off to Barrett to take over. Sheamus takes him into the corner and makes the tag off to Van Dam who kicks Bad News down for two. Van Dam comes out of the corner but jumps into a HARD shot to the throat as we take a break.

Back with Barrett holding Van Dam in an armbar before kicking him in the face for two. Cesaro comes in again and cranks on a chinlock while Heyman complains about how Sheamus beat his man last night. Cesaro hits the delayed gutwrench suplex while glaring at Sheamus before making the tag back to Barrett. A middle rope elbow gets two for the Intercontinental Champion and we hit another chinlock.

Back to Cesaro who Rob outside and into the barricade before taking it back inside for two. We hit a third chinlock but Cesaro lets it go and knocks Sheamus off the apron. The break lets Van Dam kick Cesaro down, allowing for the hot tag to Sheamus for a BIG reaction. The Irishman cleans house with powerslams all around before loading up the Brogue Kick. He picks Cesaro but Heyman makes the save, allowing Barrett to hit Winds of Change for a very close two on Sheamus. Cesaro and Heyman bail and a quick Brogue Kick into a Five Star get the pin on Barrett at 13:14.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here though it had one chinlock too many. This potentially sets up Barrett vs. Cesaro which isn’t a match I would have seen coming but could be interesting. What’s also interesting was the reaction for Sheamus. I haven’t heard him get a pop like that in months and it worked very well. Good reaction to an ok match.

Here’s Damien Sandow, dressed as Indiana Pacer Lance Stephenson and carrying a basketball. The fans aren’t pleased but it gets even worse when he mentions that the Paces’ season is over. Therefore, he would like to state the LeBron James is the best player ever and that the Pacers are a losing team from a losing city. Also as an act of charity for fans supporting such losers, he’ll give a display of his skills. There’s a basketball hoop set up in the corner and this is already dying.

Sandow does some tricks until Big Show interrupts. Sandow: “HOW DARE YOU DISRUPT MY DISPLAY OF MAD SKILLS!” He challenges Big Show to a game and throws him the ball but Big Show throws it back and knocks Sandow out. He dunks the ball as wel, breaking the hoop. If there’s any point to this, feel free to point it out to me.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas

This is a rematch from last night when Kane attacked before it could go anywhere. Before the match Bo says the Pacers lost because all of the Heat Bolieved. A shoulder puts Kofi down and he runs outside to shout that he’s WINNING. Kingston comes back with a dropkick to put Bo on the floor before offering a handshake.

Dallas shakes but tries a cheap shot, only to get kicked in the face. Bo puts him down and drops some running knees before putting on a cravate. The fans chant boring and JBL says it’s for Dallas. Kofi comes back with a dropkick and the spinning cross body but gets caught by a hot shot the Bodog for the pin at 4:07.

Rating: D+. As is usually the case, the match was nothing of note but Bo is all about the character rather than the in ring work. The matches aren’t terrible to be fair, but they’re supposed to be Bo running around and cheering for himself. Once he gets a follower or a story he’ll be much more interesting.

Kofi isn’t interested in the post match hug.

We recap the opening segment.

Renee Young tries to get a word with HHH but gets Stephanie instead. She’s on her way to the ring to talk about the World Title.

Here’s a ticked off Stephanie to rant about how Bryan was a coward and let his wife fight for him last night. Brie should have been fired weeks ago but Stephanie gave them chance after chance, only to get slapped in the face. That’s ok though because she’s a tough McMahon. Bryan will have to wake up every morning and see his wife’s dreams broken.

Enough about Bryan though, because this is about the World Heavyweight Championship. At Money in the Bank, Bryan will be defending against Kane in a stretcher match. If he’s unable to compete though, the Money in the Bank ladder match will be for the vacant title. This brings out John Cena to a ROAR.

Cena says he’s sore but he loves the sound of the fans chanting CENA SUCKS. Stephanie may have a hard job but some of the fans’ opinions are kind of questionable. The fans do their dueling chants and Cena says that’s what’s best for business. He’s here to talk about the WWE Championship situation as a former champion. He knows what it’s like to win, lose and have to give away a championship. John talks about no one being bigger than the title, including a spoiled egomaniac like Stephanie, drawing a big cheer. Stephanie: “Oh sure you all like that.”

Cena says Stephanie has to face facts: Daniel Bryan is really good. The WWE Universe can cheer for anyone (Unless they’re Bray Wyatt I guess) and Daniel Bryan has earned that title. Maybe he doesn’t want to give up the belt because he knows the Authority will never give him another shot. Stephanie goes on a rant about how Bryan is a B+ and how he hasn’t defended the title in thirty days so she has to do what she has to do.

Cena talks about the surgeries he and HHH have had to put them out of actions. Even Stephanie has had….surgeries. Stephanie: “They put me IN action but that’s another story.” Cena: “We’ll put that one in a chest somewhere and think about it later.” Cena talks about Stephanie abusing her power and gives her a zero job performance evaluation. She doesn’t care what people think and makes Cena vs. Kane right now.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is joined in progress after a break with Kane in control. He rams Cena spine first into the buckle and drops him with an uppercut before stomping away. Side slam gets two on John but Cena fights back with right hands and the shoulders. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Kane punches his way out of the AA. Kane hammers away in the corner for the five count and DQ at 3:09 shown.

Rating: D. These two just do not have good chemistry together and there’s no way around it. Kane is one of the few people that Cena doesn’t have good matches with and I had a feeling that was going to be the case when the bell rang. Nothing to see here and thankfully it was only a few minutes long.

Post match Cena escapes a tombstone attempt on the steps and throws said steps at Kane’s head. Cena leaves and Kane throws various metal objects before leaving.

Opening segment recap again.

Orton has talked to HHH and says they’re on the same page. Tonight he’s facing Roman Reigns.

3MB vs. Los Matadores

It’s Slater/McIntyre here but before the match, Slater says Hornswoggle isn’t quite shaved. He comes out with an afro, complete with pick. Heath runs over Diego to start and Horny gets on the apron to play air guitar. Torito rips the wig off and Hornswoggle runs off in terror. A rollup pins Slater at 1:27.

Nikki Bella vs. Alicia Fox/Aksana

This is punishment from Stephanie for Nikki saying she missed her sister on the WWE App. Fox is quickly sent to the floor but kicks Nikki in the back to put her down. Alicia comes in and gets rolled up, only to have Fox nail the ax kick for the pin at 1:11.

Fox beats Nikki up post match and shouts a few hashtags. Aksana gets in a few shots of her own but we’ve got Wyatts.

The rocking chair is empty with Rowan in the sheep mask behind it. Harper grabs his his shoulder and says they have to take up his cause. They have to torture the same pair of brothers over and over until the brothers are put down like the craven beasts they are. Rowan says follow the buzzards.

Jack Swagger vs. Adam Rose

Rematch from Smackdown where Rose got the win. Rose slaps him to start and elbows Swagger down, only to have Jack kick him in the face. Off to a quick double chicken wing before Swagger charges into a boot in the corner. Rose comes back with right hands and a running neckbreaker. A Bronco sets up a running Party Foul (looked better than the usual version) gets the pin at 2:57.

The Usos say they’re banged up but ready to fight tonight. Jimmy shouts like a crazed pitbull.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos

Non-title and Bray is nowhere in sight. Jimmy has taped up ribs and gets thrown around like a ragdoll by Harper. It’s quickly off to Jey for some shots to the face until Harper runs him over again. Off to Rowan for the chinlock for a good while followed by Jey falling under Rowan’s weight. The Family makes a tag so Harper can hammer away instead. The beating doesn’t last long before it’s back to Rowan for a running corner splash. Jey escapes a belly to back and tags in Jimmy to speed things up. Some forearms to the back and a kick to the face get two. Everything breaks down and the monsters are sent to the floor as we take a break.

Back with the monsters in control and Harper working over Jimmy’s bad ribs on the floor. They head back inside for Rowan to slow things down even more and drop some elbows to the ribs. Jimmy gets tied to the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the ribs but he does a big situp, sending a charging Rowan in the post. The Whisper in the Wind is enough to allow the tag to Jey who meets Harper. Jey hits a spinning kick to the head and the running Umaga attack in the corner but gets caught by a big boot for two.

A Samoan drop from Jey puts Harper back down but he dives on Rowan instead of hitting the Superfly Splash. Luke hits a suicide dive but Jimmy hits a plancha of his own, only to bang up the ribs a bit more. Back in and the Superfly Splash hits Harper’s knees but the discus lariat is blocked by a superkick for two. Rowan makes a blind tag but Jimmy rolls him up for two. Erick hits Jey with something like Matt Hardy’s Side Effect for the pin at 17:03.

Rating: B. Good stuff here and I can live with the champion losing a bit more here due to the injuries coming in. Harper and Rowan seem destined to take the belts and I don’t think there’s much of an argument against them being champions. The Usos have had a nice run and are a WAY bigger deal than they were when this reign started so it’s done its job.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

The fans are WAY into Dolph here and he quickly takes Alberto down for the ten elbow drops. Alberto nails the Codebreaker to the arm and the running arm kick in the corner gets two. A belly to back suplex gets the same on Dolph before we hit the armbar. Ziggler fights back with right hands and the Fameasser for two. The top rope X Factor gets another near fall but the cross armbreaker out of nowhere sends Del Rio to Money in the Bank at 5:31.

Rating: C. The match was the usual between these two but man I was hoping to see Ziggler get in there. The guy is over and there’s nothing wrong with throwing him into a big multiman match. On the other hand we have Alberto Del Rio who keeps finding new ways to be uninteresting. I haven’t cared about him in a long time and that’s not getting any better.

Goldust/Sin Cara vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Cara is Cody’s handpicked partner for his brother. Goldust and Axel get things going with Curtis getting caught in a quick armbar. It’s quickly off to Ryback who takes over as the heels take turns on the golden one. Axel hits his middle rope elbow but Ryback’s middle rope splash hits knees. The hot tag brings in Sin Cara to clean house but he eventually misses a dive, allowing Axel to hit the neckbreaker into a cutter for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: D+. How in the world did this match go that long? It was nothing to see at all and it’s just part of a story with Cody and Goldust until we get to their feud. I’d assume we’ll see more partners for Goldust until Cody realizes that it’s really Goldust who is the problem. I’ve heard worse stories.

Here’s Lana to brag about Edward Snowden and how great he is for Russia. She brings out Rusev for a medal presentation for his great accomplishments. The Russian government agent of course speaks English as he gives Rusev the Golden Star. The Russian national anthem plays and no one interferes.

Bray Wyatt returns on Smackdown, after a full four days away.

We look at the opening segment for the fourth time tonight. It’s 10:59 and the main event introductions haven’t started yet so we’re looking at a quick match.

Bray Wyatt returns on Smackdown, after a full four days away.

We look at the opening segment for the fourth time tonight. It’s 10:59 and the main event introductions haven’t started yet so we’re looking at a quick match.

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, Ambrose says they’re all banged up but they feel great. They did what they said would do last night though and didn’t suffer a single casualty. Rollins says theyw on because they were facing three men who happened to be in the same corner. Reigns says the three of them are brothers. He waves his arms around and says this is Evolution, but the fist is the Shield. Reigns says get out here so the symbol of excellence can break Orton’s jaw. HHH comes out with Orton and carrying a sledgehammer, so Rollins heads out for some chairs.

HHH says what he does best is adapt. Last night was plan A, but tonight is plan B. He looks at the hammer as he says this and says there’s always a plan B. Shield is ready to fight but Rollins turns on them, blasting Reigns in the back with a chair. Ambrose is STUNNED but gets nailed as well. So much for the team.

Rollins literally breaks the chair over Ambrose’s back and hits the curb stomp to put Ambrose face first into the good chair. He hand sit to Orton for more shots to Reigns but Roman won’t stay down. That’s fine with Randy as he goes Steve Austin on him with about ten shots to the back and ribs. The Elevated DDT on the chair lets the new Evolution stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show felt a step off all night. It’s like they didn’t know what they wanted to do and it showed badly. The main event stuff with Evolution was fine and it’s an easy way to write off Batista before he comes back after the summer. Other than that though I’m not sure what they’re setting up, as Cena vs. the Authority has mostly been done, but it didn’t feel like that’s where they’re going. Stephanie is great in this heel role and her cockiness in the promo was great.

Results
Rob Van Dam/Sheamus b. Cesaro/Bad News Barrett – Five Star Frog Splash to Barrett
Bo Dallas b. Kofi Kingston – Bodog
John Cena b. Kane via DQ when Kane wouldn’t stop attacking in the corner
Los Matadores b. 3MB – Rollup to Slater
Aksana/Alicia Fox b. Nikkia Bella – Ax kick
Adam Rose b. Jack Swagger – Party Foul
Wyatt Family b. Usos – Sitout spinebuster to Jey
Ryback/Curtis Axel b. Goldust/Sin Cara – Neckbreaker into a cutter to Cara

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Today is a guy that was almost a big deal in WCW but they screwed up. Again. It’s Perry Saturn.

Eliminators vs. Pitbulls

I haven’t seen a lot of the Pitbulls but they were very popular and pretty successful in ECW so this could be worth seeing. Francine in leather isn’t a bad thing to see as she manages them so this should be good. Oh and Jason manages the Eliminators. It’s weird to see Saturn with hair. The Pitbulls are known as #1 and #2. #1 has hair. Got it. He and Saturn start us off and the Pitbull (Gary Wolfe. #2 is Anthony Durante) shrugs off most of Saturn’s offense.

He tosses Perry into the corner and slams him. The idea of the Pitbulls were they were more or less Rhyno in leather and more athletic. Blind tag brings in Durante who gets a top rope elbow for two. Off to the other Eliminator John Kronus to face #2. Big power match here as Kronus hits a release Dragon suplex to take over. The Eliminators, the more athletic team, speeds things up a lot to take over.

An assisted moonsault takes out Durante but an elbow clearly misses. Thankfully Joey covers and says he moved, otherwise it would have looked awful. The fans are behind the Pitbulls as Kronus picks #2 up off a belly to back suplex. Kronus gets caught between the Pitbulls but Durante misses a splash in the corner and crashes to the floor. He’s bleeding from the elbow now.

Kronus is a lot fatter than I remember him being. Saturn comes in with that sweet high elbow drop of his (OH YEAH from Joey) but it only gets two. Saturn hits a corner rana which also gets two somehow. The Eliminators are a pretty new team so this is kind of their showcase match. Saturn tries to set up something on the ropes but a superbomb by Durante gets no cover.

Everything breaks down and Jason hits a legdrop on #2 to keep him down. Double tag brings in Kronus and Wolfe who cleans house. Double clothesline takes the Eliminators down and it’s a big brawl. Wolfe totally misses a spinwheel kick in the corner but Kronus sells it anyway. Double superbomb out of the corner ends Kronus and we’re done.

Rating: B-. This was a rather fun match. The botches make it a bit amateurish looking but at the same time this wasn’t exactly Gagne vs. Thesz out there. They would feud forever with the Pitbulls eventually losing their edge. Pretty good match though and the fans were into it the whole way (duh) so I can’t complain much here at all.

And another from House Party 1996.

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rey vs. Kronus to start with Mysterio flying all over the place and taking out both Eliminators with an armdrag/rana combo. Rey gets sent to the floor and here’s Taz to choke 911 again. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz just lets go. Rey and Kronus have some weapons brought in and everything breaks down. Well, as much as everything can break down in an ECW match.

Total Elimination takes 911 down again and Taz chokes him some more. Saturn (who has long black hair here) powerbombs Rey down but Mysterio comes back with a double DDT. 911 gets back in and Rey gets on his shoulders. It’s time to play some chicken. Rey fakes Saturn out though and jumps into the air, hitting a rana on Kronus off Saturn’s shoulders for the pin. That looked awesome.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but the Eliminators were nothing more than Total Elimination and matching black hair at this point. Mysterio would be in WCW in about 5 months while 911 would be 911 for the rest of his time in ECW. Nothing to see here but the ending was pretty sweet looking.

One more from Cyberslam 1997 as the team is moving up the charts.

Tag Titles: Eliminators vs. Rob Van Dam/Sabu

Eliminators are Perry Saturn and John Kronus who you shouldn’t know. This is a ladders/tables match which means they’re legal. You win by pinfall or submission and the Eliminators have the titles. Saturn talks about how awesome ECW is and how they’re going to Raw on Monday, which is true. This is on a Saturday (I think) and the ECW Invasion (not the Alliance one but a one night one) happened on Raw while the WWF guys were on a European tour.

This is a rematch apparently but Joey doesn’t tell us when the original match was from. The losers have to shake the hands of the winners. Van Dam and Sabu are heels here. Apparently the challengers have almost won the titles from this team before so this is an established feud. Saturn vs. Van Dam to start us off here. They hit the mat to start as there are tags here to make it seem like this is a regular match with rules for awhile.

They slug it out for a bit and a dropkick gets two for Van Dam. Sabu comes in but there was no tag so it doesn’t count. Off to Kronus who was good but not great. He gets Sabu now so this should be a bit faster paced. Saturn gets a modified Rock Bottom for two and Sabu works on the knee a bit. Half crab goes on so Saturn kicks Sabu in the head. I love using that as a counter. It’s so basic. Got a problem? KICK HIM IN THE FACE!

Sabu and Van Dam do some stuff that the Guns would later do in TNA but would do it a bit better and faster. A forearm by Kronus takes him and RVD out to the floor. Saturn and Van Dam fight for a ladder so the partners kick both of them, sending everyone to the floor. Kronus dives on RVD while Sabu and Saturn go into the crowd. Now the other pairing goes to the outside also as it’s a total brawl.

Saturn and Sabu are up by the….well by everything really as there was a lot put in one small area at these shows. Sabu gets a chair shot to Saturn back in the ring and the Triple Jump Moonsault hits Saturn as well. It’s ladder time and Van Dam hits a moonsault off the second rung of it, as in the second from the ground as the ladder was laid at an angle against the rope.

To the shock of no one, everything breaks down even though we’re still sticking with the corners. Nice to see them pretend that this has rules for awhile. Kronus hits a handspring elbow into the corner into Van Dam into the ladder. A ladder shot misses the challengers so they botch another attempt at it as the Eliminators keep control. This is threatening to get very sloppy rather quickly.

Kronus THROWS the ladder at Van Dam and it smacks him in the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Another ladder comes in so Van Dam puts Saturn in the surfboard. You know, because that’s what you want to see in a tables and ladders match right? Submission wrestling! Arabian Facebuster with the ladder gets two on Saturn. Saturn avoids a double clothesline (read as he runs through it) and hits one of his own but no tag.

Slingshot leg drop gets no count for Sabu and it’s off to Kronus. Double kick to Sabu as the tagging has finally died off. Total mess now with nothing at all as far as coherence. Sabu gets a big dive off the top rope into the front row to half kill Saturn. Van Dam adds a moonsault press off the guardrail to Kronus as Sabu and Saturn are back in the ring now.

Saturn hits a splash from the top of the ladder to Van Dam for no cover as Sabu is fighting again. Kronus and Sabu go to the floor as ladders are set up in the ring. With Saturn put on the ladder which is draped on the middle rope, RVD tries the split legged moonsault and botches it worse than Morrison ever dreamed of. Sabu hits the leg lariat to both guys including one that would be called Poetry in Motion when the Hardys used it later. The challengers get rammed together and a pair of Total Eliminations (Saturn with a leg sweep, Kronus with a spin kick to the face) to RVD ends this. Total mess in the second half.

Rating: D+. This got twenty minutes. Let that sink in a bit. They gave Sabu and Kronus twenty minutes. This was decent but the botches and the constant changing of the tag requirements (every company does this. Either have them or don’t) and the length it really got dragged down. The Eliminators had FAR better matches but this wasn’t one of them. Too long and way too sloppy.

We’ll wrap up ECW with the opening match from it’s first PPV, Barely Legal.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Eliminators

The Eliminators are Perry Saturn and John Kronus. Saturn had wanted to call the team the Harvesters of Sorrow but didn’t think enough people would get the reference. I doubt most of you will either, so the reference is that Saturn and Kronus were the gods of the harvest in Roman and Greek mythology. Yeah that was never going to work.

I’m having a hard time getting into them as they’re wearing pink tights but there we go. Sign Guy stays in the ring and takes a botched Total Elimination, which is a leg sweep/spinning heel kick combination. Saturn did the leg sweep but he didn’t sweep that well. Anyway, after a harmless manager is beaten up to cheers, I think I’m starting to get what I’m dealing with here.

The heels jump them from behind as Bubba drops both an F bomb and a powerbomb. Styles does the commentary alone on PPVs, which definitely takes some getting used to. This match is doing kind of a back and forth thing but they’re going way too fast with it. One team will be in control for 30 seconds and then the other will take over. There’s also little to no tagging.

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone on the apron yet, although we’re only about two minutes into the match. The Eliminator are reminding me a lot of the Motor City Machine Guns and the Rockers. They use a pair of Trouble in Paradises to put Bubba down. I wonder if Kofi is from Dudleyville. He’s been from everywhere else so why not? They follow that up by being secure enough in their masculinity for a long hug while wearing pink tights.

Well ok then. Kronus throws a pretty sweet handspring backflip moonsault over the ropes to take out everyone. Another thing that’s very different here is the lack of space between the ring and the railings. It’s difficult to maneuver out there if nothing else. Seconds later, Kronus does another of the same move but this time into the corner instead of over the ropes, making it a much less impressive spot and taking away from the first one.

I don’t care wht company you’re in, that’s a stupid thing to do. I’ve always loved the way Saturn dropped elbows. They’re just sweet looking. Bubba is said to be 370-375, which would make D-Von about 250. Yeah I’m not buying that at all. This is turning into an X Division match as it’s all high spots with no apparent rhyme or reason to them at all from the Eliminators.

The champions are getting completely squashed here and they get pinned after Total Elimination. That’s it? Dude that was a 6 minute destruction. Well if nothing else it’s a hot way to open the show so I’ll give them that. Gertner continues showing off that Ivy League education (legit) of his by saying that by his score, the Dudleys won.

A Total Elimination later and the new champions are heading to the back. He would start wearing a neck brace because of that, and would break Orton’s record of milking an injury by still wearing it into 2005. That’s a very severe injury and those fans should be embarrassed for cheering it. Yeah that’s not going to work at all so I’m moving on.

Rating: C-. So the first ECW PPV match ever is a glorified squash. Well that’s ok I guess, but the lack of anything remotely resembling a flow here hurt it for me. It was like they were going for a highlight reel or something. Also, I can get having the Eliminators dominate, but it makes very little sense to have them be in trouble for the first 30 seconds and then have the Dudleys have maybe another 30 seconds later on of offense.

It came off to me like high spots for the sake of high spots, which I guess if you’re trying to keep new viewers around is a good idea, but the lack of a flow was just killing this match for me as it made it feel like a bunch of rookies wrestling. At least the Eliminators got the titles which they earned a long time ago.

Soon after this, Saturn would head to WCW where he would become part of the Flock. Here’s his debut singles match from Nitro on November 3, 1997.

TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is defending and this is Saturn’s in ring debut. The champion jumps him to start and pounds away, only to be suplexed down to give Saturn control. A hammerlock belly to belly suplex takes Disco down again and it’s off to an armbar. Saturn legdrops the arm and puts on something like a cross armbreaker. The Eliminators leg sweep gets two and it’s off to more arm holds. Saturn keeps changing them up every few seconds to keep things moving. We get a quick ECW chant as Saturn hits a quick kick to take Disco down.

A clothesline sets up a suplex but Saturn stares at Raven instead of covering. Off to a Fujiwara armbar before standing Disco up and driving a knee into the arm to put him on the mat again. Back to the armbar but Disco comes back with a quick clothesline for two. Saturn shrugs it off and superkicks him in the back of the head to get control again. A perfect release German suplex puts Disco down again as Larry compares Saturn and Raven to Arn and Flair. Saturn hooks a tiger suplex and the Rings of Saturn gives us a new champion.

Rating: C. This was a total squash and a great way to put Saturn over as a killer. Disco wasn’t a long term champion and was just a goofy character who lucked his way into the title, so this was basically an extended version of the Honky Tonk Man/Ultimate Warrior formula. Saturn looked great here.

One of the Flock’s first feuds was with Chris Benoit, who Saturn faced at Starrcade 1997.

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

Raven, a loner who has a collection of misfits called his Flock, comes out for his match against Chris Benoit but says he won’t wrestle tonight. Instead his top man Saturn does, which has been a recurring theme for Raven. To be fair to him and WCW though, Raven had a legit appendicitis and wasn’t medically cleared to wrestle. On the other hand, WCW knew this in advance and didn’t bother to announce that Raven couldn’t wrestle, thereby ripping off the fans with something they easily could have fixed. Anyway Benoit is a very tough wrestler with an excellent amateur skill set. Saturn can do a bit of everything.

Before the match, Benoit talks about seeing things for what they are in an attempt to speak like Raven. This doesn’t go well at all, but once they had their match it would be a classic. Apparently this is under Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes. Saturn tries to jump Benoit but gets chopped down for his efforts. More chops hit Saturn’s chest in the corner and a jawbreaker gets Benoit out of a sleeper attempt. Benoit stomps away in the corner and invites Raven to get in the ring. Saturn catches Benoit’s arm during a chop attempt and hits a quick suplex to take over.

Chris comes right back with a dropkick to the knee but has to knock Raven to the floor instead of go after Saturn. Benoit whips Saturn into the barricade but Raven’s men Kidman and Sick Boy interfere to give Saturn control. Back in and Saturn puts on a chinlock before hitting a moonsault, only to injure himself in the process. A few knees to Benoit’s ribs put him down again but Benoit’s foot is in the ropes. Off to reverse chinlock by Saturn to stay on the ribs but he lets it go for no apparent reason.

A kind of brainbuster gets two on Benoit and it’s off to another chinlock. Benoit fights up and hooks a sunset flip for two before clotheslining Saturn down. Both guys are dazed now but it’s Benoit taking over as they get back up. Saturn grabs a quick falcon arrow (sitout slam) to put Benoit down, only to have Chris knock him off the top rope and to the floor.

Benoit takes it to the floor and puts on his Crippler Crossface (arm trap hold with a facelock) but the Flock makes the save. Benoit fights them and throws Saturn back in for the flying headbutt, only to have the Flock come in again. They’re quickly dispatched, but Raven himself comes in with the DDT to lay Benoit out. Saturn puts on his Rings of Saturn double armbar but Benoit is out cold, ending the match.

Rating: C+. This was getting good at the end but the decision here makes little sense. Benoit had been running through the Flock, so why have him lose to Saturn right before he’s supposed to face Raven? Benoit can’t beat the second in command so we’re supposed to want to see him fight the boss? That doesn’t make sense.

Saturn was always a sure hand in the ring and got to face US Champion Goldberg at Slamboree 1998.

US Title: Saturn vs. Goldberg

Just one on one instead of the advertised gauntlet match. Goldberg easily shoves him into the corner to start before clotheslining the challenger down with ease. A gorilla press into a powerslam puts Saturn down and a shoulder knocks him to the floor. Back in and Saturn fires off kicks in the corner but charges into a spin kick from the champion. Goldberg LAUNCHES him into the corner before they head outside.

Saturn ducks a clothesline and Goldie’s arm goes into the post. Back in and a top rope spinwheel kick gets one and we hit the chinlock. Goldberg fights up but walks into a swinging neckbreaker to set up the chinlock again. Back up and Saturn grabs a chair before superkicking Goldberg into the corner. Using the chair as a springboard, Saturn kicks Goldberg in the back but a second attempt is countered with the spear. The Jackhammer retains the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me. The arm went nowhere and it never felt like Saturn had a chance. Goldberg is in an awkward place as he’s too big to squash people and midcarders are no real challenge anymore but he’s not quite ready to face main event guys. That’s a very tricky jump to make but it would come soon enough.

Saturn would get into a feud with Raven and the rest of the Flock, including Kanyon. This led to a triple threat at Road Wild 1998.

Raven vs. Kanyon vs. Saturn

Under Raven’s Rules, meaning hardcore. Raven’s music is so awesome that it doesn’t belong on a show like this. The question coming into this is whether Kanyon is under Raven’s control or not. Raven stands on the apron and tells Kanyon to get Saturn, only to have Perry take over with some kicks. Raven comes in with a chair to Saturn’s back and sends Kanyon into the post before Saturn falls to the floor as well.

Saturn and Kanyon get in a fight on the floor as Heenan tries to figure out the story of the match as only he can. Raven sits in the corner while the other two fight in the ring but they finally realize what’s going on. Kanyon dropkicks Raven low and Saturn belly to back suplexes Raven into a Kanyon neckbreaker. Kanyon throws Raven into Saturn and hits rolling Russian legsweeps on Raven for two in a nice move. Saturn breaks up the cover with a guillotine legdrop on Raven for two and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gets the same on Raven.

Kanyon gets in another fight with Saturn so Raven blasts them both in the head with a chair, only to be sent to the floor. Saturn follows him out so Kanyon dives on both guys, giving us our first breather in awhile. They get off the platform where Kanyon whips Raven HARD into the barricade. Raven comes back with a suplex to put Kanyon down on the ramp (designed like a road) but Saturn clotheslines Raven down for two. Kanyon piledrives Saturn on the stage for two more before Raven dropkicks Kanyon down the stage.

They fight back to the ring where both guys drop down to avoid a charging Raven before Saturn catches him with a t-bone suplex. Saturn puts Raven in a sleeper but Kanyon puts one on Saturn as well before a jawbreaker puts everyone down. We get a Tower of Doom with Kanyon superplexing Saturn and Raven putting Kanyon in an electric chair.

Raven tries a double DDT on both guys but only puts Saturn down. Kanyon and Raven head outside with Raven getting suplexed onto the floor. Kanyon misses a splash off the scaffolding but Saturn catches Raven in the Death Valley Driver. Lodi makes the save but Horace comes in to lay out Saturn. Horace picks up the stop sign but gets blinded by Lodi’s powder. He caves Raven’s head in and a Death Valley Driver to Raven gives Saturn the pin.

Rating: C. This was a mess but it was supposed to be. I’m still not sure where they go with this story now but it would seem to still be Raven vs. Saturn. Kanyon was just there to keep spots going and he did a good job, but that doesn’t mean he helped the story or really changed anything.

The Flock feud would come to a head at Fall Brawl 1998. If Raven wins, Saturn has to join again. If Saturn wins, the Flock is done.

Raven vs. Saturn

Kanyon is handcuffed to the ring to make it as far as possible. It’s also Raven’s Rules. Raven chills in the corner to start before getting in a cheap shot and sending Saturn across the ring and down to the mat. A running knee lift has Saturn in even more trouble but he comes back with some high kicks in the corner and a spinning springboard forearm for two. Saturn gets the same off a top rope splash and another kick sends Raven into the barricade. Lodi goes over to help but both guys are taken out by a nice suicide dive to wake up the crowd a little bit.

Lodi interferes a bit to give Raven control and get a two count off a pair of middle rope elbows. Saturn comes back with something resembling a powerbomb for two, only to be taken down by a quick clothesline. There’s a sleeper to Saturn but he comes out of it with a jawbreaker to put both guys down. Raven is up first with some rolling Russian legsweeps for two but Saturn hits him low to get a break.

We get our first chair brought in for the drop toehold from Raven and the Flock brings in a table. Kidman is on the other side of the ring and comes in to turn on Raven with a dropkick before sprinting to the back with the Flock chasing after him. Saturn’s Death Valley Driver gets a VERY close two before he snaps off three straight suplexes. Raven is out on his feet so Saturn slams him to the mat and gets two off a spinning springboard legdrop.

Something like a Juvy Driver gets two more for Saturn so he puts on the Rings of Saturn but Lodi makes the save. The referee gets bumped and Kanyon gets the key to the handcuffs out of his pocket to set himself free. He gives Saturn a Flatliner but Raven can only get two. Saturn drives Lodi through the table with the Death Valley Driver but walks into the EvenFlow. He kicks out again and the fans are WAY into this now. Another Death Valley Driver is enough to split up the Flock.

Rating: B. This was the only way to end the feud and it worked very well. As is almost always the case, the backstory makes the match much better as you have Saturn rising above everyone else and surviving everything Raven throws at him. Kidman turning makes sense as he had already been changing his look in the previous months, which is always a good addition to a feud.

Then Saturn was pushed WAY down the card, eventually getting a feud with Ernest Miller for no apparent reason. Here’s the blowoff at Starrcade 1998.

Perry Saturn vs. The Cat

This one isn’t so much strange as they’ve been feuding for awhile now, but who in the world wants to see this match? Miller of course has to give his usual speech and Saturn of course jumps him. Cat runs to the floor for some stalling before teasint walking to the back. He tries to slide back in to go after Saturn but falls at Saturn’s feet instead. Now the beating is on but Miller bails to the floor to stall again. Back in and Cat sweeps the leg and chokes a bit as the fans are dying in a hurry.

Saturn can’t hook the Rings so he wrestles Miller down to the mat. That also goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face and walks around a lot. Saturn comes back with a pair of suplexes for two and a swinging neckbreaker for the same. A top rope ax handle misses and Saturn gets kicked in the face for no cover. Back up and Miller kicks him again but asks Sonny Onoo to come in. Sonny kicks Miller by mistake, allowing Saturn to hit the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my day but I will never understand some things about WCW. For one, why in the world did Sonny Onoo keep a job for so long? Miller could at least talk and got decent later on, but why is he getting this spot on this show? At least Saturn won, finally.

Raven and Saturn would reunite by mid 1999 and they would receive a Tag Team Title shot at Slamboree 1999.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

That team wouldn’t last either so it was back to a face turn and a Tag Team Title reign with Chris Benoit. They would defend against the Jersey Triad at Great American Bash 1999.

Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Perry and Chris come out to Malenko’s music for some reason. We’re told Sting is fine from the BIG DOG ATTACK. Benoit vs. Kanyon gets us going. Chris clears the ring and the partners both get tags. The champs clear the ring again but go after Bigelow to let Team Jersey take over. The champs hit almost stereo belly to belly overheads to get control back and it’s officially Page vs. Benoit now.

Page beats him down and it’s off to Kanyon who goes to the middle rope, puts his leg on Benoit’s head, and drives him down with a Fameasser for two. Back to Page and Benoit gets a single suplex for two. Page tries the Helicopter Bomb but it’s more like a regular one instead. A Kanyon moonsault misses and here’s Saturn. He cleans house and hits a frog splash on Kanyon for two.

Saturn gets beaten down again by some good old fashioned double teaming. He tries a sunset flip but Kanyon makes a blind tag and grabs the head of Saturn, exposing Saturn’s back. Page comes in and decks him to take over. Kanyon was freaking smart in the ring man. The beating continues for awhile but Page misses a dive and crotches himself on the top buckle.

That allows for a double tag to bring in Kanyon and Benoit with the crazy Canadian going cracy on the challengers. Kanyon REALLY loudly calls for a suplex where he lands behind Benoit and he does just that. He gets rammed into Bigelow though and Rolling Germans get two. A dragon suplex gets a VERY close two. Benoit hits the Swan Dive as Saturn kind of falls off the top into a Diamond Cutter. Cue Malenko who pulls Saturn out for some reason. Crossface to Kanyon but here’s Bigelow to help with an elevated Cutter and the Triad wins the titles.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the rematch where the Triad could trade in and out next month at the Bash at the Beach was a much better match. Still though, this was so far and away a better match than anything else all night that I’d rather watch it a dozen times than anything else here. Not bad, but they’ve had better matches.

Saturn would get another TV Title shot at Fall Brawl 1999.

TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner is now a heel and all “rough” or something like that. Oh and the Steiners are all cool again. Steiner is champion and Saturn is in the Revolution. Take a guess as to what happens here. Steiner takes him down to the match rather quickly as we’re told Buff Bagwell isn’t here yet but there’s a replacement for him who will be named later.

Saturn gets his spinning legdrop for no cover. Suicide dive takes out Steiner and Saturn hammers away. No real reason for this match other than Saturn has been deemed a challenger. We touch on the death of referee Mark Curtis (Brian Hilldebrand) who passed away earlier in the week. Everyone is wearing a black armband because of it which is always cool to see.

Out to the floor and Saturn is sent into the steps. Bad DDT on the floor puts Saturn down even more. Other than a brief flourish at the beginning it’s been all Steiner because that’s what he does. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to sell for anyone. That would imply that someone young could be better than him and the people might somehow care about him even less. Perish the thought!

German sends Saturn flying. Off to a chinlock so that Rick can have a little breather. Off to a half crab as this is rather boring indeed. Saturn slaps the mat but we’re not going to call that a tap out because that’s not the planned ending. Back to the half crab which isn’t even cranked on. Basically he’s just got his leg up in the air a bit. Give me a break. Belly to belly gets no cover for Rick.

There’s another belly to belly and Saturn is down. Rick yells at a fan and Saturn is able to get a middle rope dropkick to take Steiner down. T-bone suplex gets two for the former Perry. And never mind that as Steiner takes him down with a powerslam for two. Death Valley Driver, Saturn’s finisher, gets two also. Saturn calls for the Rings of Saturn but instead goes for another DVD which is shrugged off. Steiner Bulldog is broken up but the second attempt hits so Steiner can retain. Give me another break.

Rating: D-. No one, I mean NO ONE, cared about Rick Steiner at this point. Therefore the obvious solution is to give him the TV Title for four months. He would lose it to Benoit the next night, so why in the freaking world wouldn’t you just do the title change here???? Oh that’s right: Benoit has to job to Sid because Heaven knows Sid is the guy that needs the US Title more than Benoit right? I freaking give up.

Here’s Saturn’s last match in WCW, from Souled Out 2000.

Billy Kidman vs. Perry Saturn

This is a Bunkhouse match, meaning hardcore. At least Kidman’s music is kind of catchy. Saturn is freaking stacked as far as muscles go. Perry stomps away to start and gets a clothesline to take Kidman down. Big press slam as this is a regular match so far. Kidman fights back with speed and punches in the corner. Clothesline gets two. He tries a running headlock takeover out of the corner but gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor. That gets two on the floor.

Back in the ring and Saturn does something to Kidman’s neck but gets rolled up for two. This is painfully boring. Springboard legdrop gets two for Saturn. Kidman’s shirt is ripped off and we FINALLY get to a weapon, in this case, a table which is laid face down on the floor instead of being set up in the ring. Ah there it is. Heenan: “Tony we could make a fortune in a table company.” Mike: “Heenan if you’re involved the only thing it’ll be is under the table.” That was good. Where is this funny Mike every other show?

The table is on the floor but Saturn can’t suplex onto him. Saturn gets an elbow from the top rope for no cover so Kidman grabs a sunset flip for two. Diving powerbomb gets two as does a Sky High from Kidman. Saturn throws Kidman over the top and through the table which gets two. It looked great if nothing else. Saturn tries a powerbomb from the top but gets backdropped instead. Out of NOWHERE Saturn tries another powerbomb (does he get paid per powerbomb?) but gets dropped in a facejam for the pin. This was Saturn’s last match in WCW.

Rating: D+. I’m starting to feel bad for giving these matches such low grades. They’re not really that terrible but they’re just so painfully uninteresting. I’m flying through this show and I’ve yet to see anything worth watching in it. Every one of the six matches so far range from just kind of there to completely uninteresting. There were some cool spots here and I like Saturn so I guess you could call this the match of the night so far….somehow.

Saturn would debut in late January for the WWF as part of the Radicalz, along with Benoit, Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero. They would team for a good while with Eddie winning the European Title. Saturn and Malenko both challenged him at Judgment Day 2000.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn vs. Dean Malenko

Dig that pop for Eddie. Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion here which he would be like forever. Dean and Saturn beat him down with relative ease, throwing in a modified Decapitator ala Demolition. I love hearing them drop F Bombs in the corner. Leg lariat by Malenko takes Saturn down as Eddie is down in the corner.

We get some nice three man spots including Eddie getting a mule kick as a low blow to both guys. Eddie fights both guys back and gets a nice rana on Saturn to take him down. Dean leans into a headscissors and gets a side slam for two. Tornado DDT by Eddie to take Saturn down for two as Malenko saves.

Butterfly suplex by Malenko is countered into a sunset flip by Eddie which is countered into a Texas Cloverleaf which is countered by Saturn. Saturn double crosses Malenko as they set for a Doomsday Device. He throws Eddie at the top rope to crotch Malenko. Eddie gets up but walks into the middle rope gutbuster from Eddie. Saturn busts out a Frog Splash on Eddie for two as Malenko saves.

Perry tries a Texas Cloverleaf on Dean which Eddie breaks up. Brainbuster to Saturn as this has gotten quite good. Saturn charges at Eddie who ducks and it’s down to Eddie and Dean for the moment. Dean gets a suplex and a top rope splash for two. It’s a triple/double/whatever else JR calls it suplex as Dean suplexes Eddie and Saturn suplexes Dean. Chyna drills Saturn with the flowers and trips Dean to send him head first into them. Eddie rolls up Dean for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. Another fast paced and fun match. This is what happens when you put guys out there that know each other and have no issues with letting the other guys look good. There were some very creative spots in there and all three guys worked very hard. Fun times indeed and the second good match in a row.

The team would all be together at Survivor Series 2000.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero
Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.

Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean comes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.

Then Saturn would get hit in the head a lot and fall in love with a mop. It’s funny you see. Raven would destroy said mop, setting up this match at Unforgiven 2001.

Raven vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn goes off on him to start as Paul gets in the line of the night: “They’re fighting over the memory of a mop.” Raven goes to the floor and hits the Russian leg sweep into the barrier and a drop toehold into the steps. JR talks about the Flock and Heyman talks about how JR never watched Nitro. JR: “I was busy!” Back in and Raven grabs a cobra clutch of all things.

Saturn escapes but Raven hits a HARD knee lift to send him out to the floor. Saturn keeps trying to get back in but Raven keeps knocking him back to the floor. He manages to get back in with a sunset flip but Raven grabs the rope for two. Saturn hits his usual nice superkick and pounds away. Suplex puts Raven down again. Raven counters a top rope rana and a sunset flip gets two. Perry goes way old school with a catapult and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gives Saturn the win.

Rating: C. This was a Raw match but it was fine. Saturn bleeding from the eye made him look like a warrior…even though this wasn’t a match that needed a warrior. These two always had solid chemistry together and even here with Raven and Saturn both meaning nothing it was a decent match.

Saturn wouldn’t be long for the company and would hit the indies, including World Wrestling All-Stars. Here’s his match from their Retribution show in 2003.

Sabu vs. Simon Diamond vs. Perry Saturn

This is a hardcore match because Sabu can’t wrestle anything else. Saturn is freshly released from WWE and has been out for awhile with a knee injury. Disco does the intros here for no apparent reason. Before the match, Simon complains about having to be in a hardcore match despite being a top level athlete. Saturn still has the kidnapped Midajah with him here. She’s also in a different outfit than she was earlier.

The fans immediately chant for ECW, obviously getting what the promoters were shooting for. Diamond gets double teamed to start so he bails to the floor. Saturn throws Sabu down but Sabu trips him up, leading to a slugout. Diamond comes back in when they both go down for near falls on both guys. Saturn hiptosses Sabu to the floor but gets rolled up by Simon, as this three way battle of the S’s continues.

Sabu comes back in for a triple headlock spot (usually a sleeper in ECW but I guess WWE bought that concept in the acquisition) before Diamond is sent to the floor. A spear by Saturn puts Sabu down, only for Sabu to come back with a springboard leg lariat for two. Diamond and Saturn go to the floor while Sabu sets up a chair in the ring. A BIG dive takes out everyone and we all lay down on the floor for a bit. Diamond and Saturn seem to hook up, but Sabu pelts the chair at Saturn’s head as he comes back in.

Time for Simon vs. Sabu for a bit but Saturn comes back in and rams the chair into Sabu’s throat. Midajah is still at ringside despite her captor being occupied in the ring. Saturn suplexes both guys down but doesn’t seem interested in going for a pin. Diamond is back in now to clothesline Saturn down and put Sabu in a shoulder hold on the mat. Saturn is busted open badly around his eye. With Sabu down, Simon puts on an armbar at the same time that Saturn puts on a leg lock. Simon lets go first to stop Saturn before loading up a table on the floor.

Diamond tries to suplex Sabu over the top and through the table but it’s Saturn making the save with a chair shot to the ribs. Simon falls to the floor so Saturn can pose for a bit. He poses too long though and Simon comes back in with a suplex to take Saturn down. Sabu hits Saturn with the chair and hits the Arabian Facebuster on Simon. Saturn is laid out on the table outside as Simon is ranaed off the top by Sabu. Perry comes back in with a top rope elbow drop on Simon for no cover.

Now it’s Sabu taking over with running leg lariats to both guys but Saturn breaks up the Triple Jump Moonsault. There are the Rings of Saturn on Sabu but Simon makes the save. An electric chair puts Saturn down but a clothesline puts Simon on the floor. Saturn suplexes Diamond through the table before loading up another one. Diamond is laid out on the table where Sabu dives through it and him.

Cue the freaking midgets again to beat up Saturn with kendo sticks, drawing in Midajah. She defends Saturn for absolutely no apparent reason, allowing Saturn to get two on Sabu after a Death Valley Driver. All the guys are down so the midgets strip Midajah. Saturn covers her up and walks out as Simon hits a reverse DDT for two on Sabu. The chair is pelted at a diving Diamond and it’s a Triple Jump Moonsault to Simon’s legs for the pin, FINALLY ending this.

Rating: D. WHO DECIDED TO GIVE THIS SEVENTEEN FREAKING MINUTES????? Sabu is the kind of guy who should never be given more than about eight minutes, so these knuckleheads decided to DOUBLE that? The match was the biggest collection of mostly missing spots that you’ll see this side of ECW, but it had tables in it so it’s awesome right?

In a bizarre story, Saturn would get shot helping a woman and develop a drug addiction. He completely dropped off the map and was assumed to be dead for a long while. He was found working in a door factory in Iowa. Saturn finally returned to wrestling about seven years later. Here’s the return match from AWE Night of the Legends in 2011.

Perry Saturn vs. C.W. Anderson

This is Saturn’s return match after being a homeless drug addict who people thought was dead for years. Saturn now has a tattoo on his face ala Mike Tyson. He also has a beer gut and no mustache now which is a weird look for him. Feeling out process to start with Saturn shoving Anderson into the corner. This appears to be the goofy Saturn again which isn’t really that fun to watch.

C.W. bails to the floor almost immediately and hits Saturn in the head with a chair as Saturn tries a suicide dive. Back in and Perry is busted open just a bit. Perry’s arm is sent into the buckle and we get our first psychology of the match. Off to an armbar as the match stays slow. A clothesline gets a very slow two count for Anderson and he throws Saturn to the floor for fun.

Back in and it’s back to the armbar as the announcers bicker about some nonsense. Anderson charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn takes him down with a bulldog. Back up and Saturn charges into a superkick for two but he comes back with a fast sunset flip for a very slow three count to win his return match.

Rating: D+. Considering this was his first match back in nine years, this was pretty good stuff. The problem here is mainly with Anderson. I’ve never gotten the appeal of this guy but he keeps getting work because of a few months he spent working with ECW near the end. Wrestling is funny that way.

Saturn is a guy that has talent but was bizarre at times to say the least. I blame a lot of his career being messed up due to WCW not capitalizing on his momentum after the first feud with Raven as the stupid Ernest Miller feud just stopped anyone from caring about him at all. That’s a shame too as the guy was very talented and almost got over huge anyway. Still though, he was fun while he lasted.

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The pre-show match was another interesting comedy match. As I mentioned in the review, it helps a lot that Hornswoggle and Torito are capable of having a watchable match. There’s likely going to be a third match with an angry Hornswoggle on his own (or on his own soon after) wanting revenge and after their first two efforts have gone so well, I’m totally fine with that, much to my own shock.

The opening match was Sheamus defending the US Title against Cesaro. This was exactly what an opening match was supposed to be: a good way of getting the fans into a show. There are multiple ways to do that and having two guys beat the tar out of each other for about twelve minutes is one way to do that. It worked really well with both guys one upping each other until the very end. Cesaro looked great and didn’t lose much in the loss, as it’s Sheamus rather than like Kofi or someone beneath him.

Cody/Goldust lost to Ryback/Axel in a bonus match which was little more than a Raw match. The only point to this was to split up the Brothers and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Rusev went over Big E. in what was just a step above a squash. At least Big E. got to hit the big spear spot to salvage this. Nothing bad but it was exactly what was expected.

The Money in the Bank promo has talking money. It’s better than that same song again though.

Bo Dallas vs. Kofi Kingston never happened as Kane interfered. Yeah it’ll be called a no contest, but when someone interferes and attacks one and only one of the people in the match, that’s a DQ. It won’t be remembered as such, but that’s what it was.

Barrett beat Rob Van Dam in another match that had a pretty obvious ending. That being said, it was still a nice back and forth match with both guys getting in a lot of their big spots. This is exactly what Van Dam should be used for: giving people a good match and then jobbing clean as a sheet. It was a step above a good Raw match and was fine for a PPV title defense. Barrett’s push continues, though it makes the loss to Sheamus all the more pointless.

Next up was Bryan/Stephanie/Brie over Bryan’s World Title. This was a well done segment as Bryan was ready to give the belts up and did the long look at them, but Brie stood up to Stephanie and said she was tired of being controlled. Brie wound up quitting and slapping Stephanie in the face before leaving. Given that the Bellas are easy to tell apart now, there’s not as much of a need for both of them to be on the roster anymore. Nikki will be fine with her shouts of COME ON to crickets. All the good people looked solid here and Stephanie got embarrassed so points all around. Bryan is still champion in theory but I don’t know how long that’s going to last.

This brings us to the first of the two main event matches. Cena beat Bray Wyatt in a last man standing match and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. The match was a great brawl but the controversial point is the ending. At the end of the day, it felt more like Cena used his mind instead of brutality to beat Bray, even though the AA through the box was a big move. The problem is it goes against the point of the match. It’s nowhere near as anti-last man standing as the Batista duct tape nonsense but it didn’t work for me.

On top of that there’s the whole Usos/Wyatt Family interference, as the match basically stopped for the sake of a mini tag team match between the four of them. It was entertaining, but I lost track of where Cena and Wyatt were during the match. Either way, the brawling was good, the ending wasn’t great, and Wyatt continues to have awesome matches in the main event spots.

Paige beat Alicia Fox in a boring match. Fox’s push will likely continue but Paige shouldn’t lose the belt for awhile, especially not to Fox.

That brings us to the main event with Shield sweeping Evolution in an elimination match. This worked but could have cut out five minutes or so to make it much better. The big problem I had with this was the second section, as about ten to fifteen minutes were a waste of time. As mentioned last night, why in the world are they tagging when ANYTHING GOES? The worst part of this was when Orton is trying to stop a tag and gives HHH A FREAKING PEP TALK instead of breaking it up himself. The whole thing just didn’t make sense.

Now to be fair it got much better as the match went on and they got to the violence, but this really didn’t work for the first part. That kind of stuff drives me crazy, especially when you have smart wrestlers in there. It wasn’t like they didn’t know what they were doing and we had to hear about HHH being all Cerebral and smart, but then he doesn’t know that he can do whatever he wants?

The great stuff later on was solid though as Shield came off looking great. They flat out defeated Evolution last night and that’s all they were supposed to do. It was a really solid match with Reigns getting two of the pins, Ambrose getting the fall over Orton and Rollins getting the big spot of the match. Again, Shield looked like equals rather than people Evolution was reaching down to help. It wasn’t as good as it was supposed to be, but it worked well enough.

Overall Payback was awesome with the two main events more than delivering and the worst match being the totally watchable Divas Title match. What else can you ask for from a major PPV? WWE is in a weird place right now as they can nail the big shows but the TV is hit and miss to say the least. There’s a lot of hope for the future though and that’s more important than some lame Raws.

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Tonight is an interesting show for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, we’ll find out the fate of the World Title as Daniel Bryan has to either surrender the belt or his wife Brie is fired. Other than that we have Cena vs. Bray Wyatt in a last man standing match which is going to determine where Bray goes from here. The real main event is Evolution vs. Shield in an anything goes elimination match which should steal the show. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Hornswoggle vs. El Torito

This is mask vs. hair due to 3MB ripping off Torito’s tail on Monday. Torito is wearing a 2/3 shirt which is a reference I don’t quite get. A right hand drops Torito early but he ducks the next few and rolls over Hornswoggle’s back. Torito dropkicks him down and we get an airplane spin. Both guys are dizzy and they hit heads to put them both down. Hornswoggle is up first and is so dizzy that his splash lands about five feet away from Torito (on purpose).

Torito hits a spinning kick to the ribs for two and the kickout sends him into Charles Robinson’s arms. Hornswoggle covers as well and Robinson just lets him hit the mat. A gore to the back sends Hornswoggle outside and Slater goes after Torito’s horns but Hornswoggle knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. The big guys get into it and a series of dives puts them all down on the floor.

Hornswoggle wants to dive as well but it’s McIntyre clearing house beforehand. That’s fine with Hornswoggle though as he dives through the ropes like a bowling ball. Slater goes to the apron but Torito hits a top rope hurricanrana to send him onto the big pile. Back to the little guys in the ring and Torito hits a Bronco Buster but Hornswoggle counters another hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb for two. Hornswoggle pulls the mask off but there’s another underneath, allowing Torito to hit a Bullsault press for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t quite up to the standard of last month’s match but it was still funny and entertaining stuff. The key to these guys is they can actually wrestle a good match instead of just being out there for comedy. It’s not bad at all, but they need to worry about doing this too often. This match should be the blowoff and it’s fine.

The opening video is about how the whole world is sitting on a ticking bomb and it’s about to go off. The song is good and the visuals about everyone wanting revenge and payback make it even better. Only the two biggest matches get any focus as you would expect.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Sheamus is defending. This is due to Cesaro beating Sheamus but not shaking Sheamus’ hand post match. Cesaro also attacked Sheamus recently and injured his head which hasn’t been played up all that much since. Before the match, Heyman says he’s here to advocate for a Paul Heyman Guy. The fans chant for Punk but Heyman says Punk is over at the United Center watching the Blackhawks game. They’ll have their streak broken, just like Brock Lesnar broke the Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania. Heyman can get that in from anywhere.

Sheamus charges out of the corner at the bell and hits some running ax handles. Cesaro counters with a throw to send Sheamus down before nailing him with an uppercut. A boot to the side of the head puts Sheamus in the corner for some more uppercuts. Sheamus comes right back with the rolling fireman’s carry but Cesaro snaps his throat across the top rope to block the ten forearms.

The second attempt works a bit better though and the fans loudly count along. Sheamus adds in another ten for good measure. They head outside and Cesaro is sent into the barricade. Back in and the slingshot shoulder is countered with another uppercut. Cesaro pulls him back in with the apron superplex for two and Heyman is fired up. A tiger bomb sets up a double stomp for two on the champion. Sheamus is whipped into the corner but comes back with the Irish Curse for two. Cole finally brings up the head injury for the first time.

Three straight middle rope knee drops get two on Cesaro before he charges into a boot in the corner. Swiss Death works a bit better but Sheamus is out at two. This has been VERY physical so far. Cesaro slaps him over and over but Sheamus is all BRING IT ON. Sheamus slams him down but misses the Brogue Kick, only to get caught in the German suplex for two. Cesaro floats over but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for a close two.

The Cloverleaf doesn’t work but Cesaro dives into Sheamus’ arms and the hold is on. Cesaro crawls to the ropes and comes back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two more. The Swing returns and the fans are WAY into Cesaro again. Cesaro loads up the Neutralizer but Sheamus grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 11:36.

Rating: B. I can actually live with the way that loss went as Cesaro looked great and the psychology was perfect: they kept beating each other up with harder and harder moves but Sheamus went completely the other way and capitalized on the dizziness for the pin with a basic wrestling move. The fans were digging this and it’s a very solid opener.

Earlier tonight Cody Rhodes and Goldust agreed they would get the job done tonight.

Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Bonus match. Axel hammers on Goldust to start but gets caught in a quick atomic drop. Off to Ryback vs. Cody with Ryback throwing him around, only to get caught with a dropkick before it’s back to Goldust for a one count. Axel nails a running knee and sends Goldust into the corner as the heels take over. Ryback hits his middle rope splash before a double team arm wringer face plant puts Goldust down again. It’s time to work on the arm before a small package gets two on Ryback.

A handspring elbow of all things puts Ryback down but Axel breaks up the tag. Goldust takes him down as well with a modified powerbomb, allowing the tag to Cody. Rhodes cleans house and takes Ryback down with a springboard missile dropkick before dropkicking Axel out of the air.

The somewhat botched moonsault press takes both heels down for two on Ryback but the Disaster Kick is caught in mid air. Cody is thrown into his brother and the Meat Hook gets two. Goldust catches Axel in a powerslam and Cross Rhodes gets two on Ryback with Curtis making a save. Axel is sent outside again but the Disaster Kick is caught in Shell Shock for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C+. Yeah it was filler but it likely ends the team for good. Axel and Ryback are nothing special but they’re not bad for a low level heel team. I’d still like to see Ryback do something on his own and Axel, while still not good, is better than he was a few months ago. Nice match here and it’s hard to complain about extra wrestling.

Post match Cody says Goldust needs a better partner and walks away.

Rusev vs. Big E.

Lana does her thing and Rusev is now from Moscow and weighed in kilos. They both hit their running body attacks to start with neither guy going anywhere. A nasty release German puts Big E. down as the fans want Ziggler. Rusev hits a running splash in the corner but Big E. comes back with a kind of STO. Rusev gets back up on the apron and Big E. spears him through the ropes and out to the floor in a BIG collision. Big E. comes up favoring his arm but is still able to get two. The Warrior Splash is countered by the jumping superkick and the Accolade makes Big E. tap at 3:35.

Rating: C+. Another solid match here with Big E. getting to show off before jobbing to the new monster. That jumping superkick is just awesome with Rusev still making great contact despite getting off the ground. The spear through the ropes looked great too as they’re really playing up the physicality tonight.

Money in the Bank promo, featuring talking money.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas

Thjs was announced on the pre-show and Dallas is now The Inspirational Bo Dallas. Bo talks about the Blackhawks losing tonight but Kane hits the ring as soon as the bell rings. Bo hides on the floor and Kane hits Kofi for the DQ at 34 seconds.

Kane destroys Kofi but Bo reminds us to BOLIEVE!

We look back at Hornswoggle getting his head shaved.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam

Barrett is defending and Van Dam won a Beat the Clock Challenge to get the shot. The Bad News of the night: not only is Van Dam not getting payback, after tonight he won’t be getting any paychecks. JBL thinks having three initials for a name is stupid, and Cole is quick to point out how stupid this is in case the fans are REALLY slow tonight. That kind of stuff is so annoying.

Van Dam wins an early slugout with some kicks for two but another one misses in the corner, allowing Barrett to take over. They head outside with Barrett getting caught on the barricade for the spinning kick to the back. Barrett throws him into the corner and catches Van Dam with a kick to the ribs before nailing the big boot to knock Van Dam back to the floor. The elbow drop off the apron crushes Van Dam even more and we hit the chinlock back inside.

Van Dam escapes a pumphandle slam and scores with the stepover kick to the face. The champion is sent into the corner and kicked down again, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. Five Star and Bull Hammer both miss and they fall outside one more time, where a Bull Hammer attempt hits post. Back in and Rob scores with a tornado DDT for two but walks into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: B-. I really liked this which surprised me quite a bit. Van Dam losing isn’t a surprise at all but that doesn’t mean they can’t have a good match anyway. Barrett is on fire right now and a clean pin over a former World Champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt that at all.

Long recap of Stephanie and Bryan’s segment from Raw. Basically Bryan either has to forfeit the title or his wife is fired.

Stephanie brings out Bryan and Brie for the big moment. The boss is of course her usual evil self and puts all of this on Bryan. If the two of them one day have some weird bearded babies, Bryan needs to be able to tell them that he wasn’t selfish and did the right thing. Bryan mentions how the fans reacted to Stephanie (cue more booing) and gives her a chance to change the fans’ minds. A CM Punk chant starts up but Stephanie says they want him to quit, just like CM Punk did.

She gives him the ultimatum again but Bryan wants to talk about Stephanie’s kids. They’re going to have to watch their mom be a selfish, narcissistic….what’s that word? Brie fills in the blank and says Bryan has to do the right thing. Daniel looks at the titles but Brie says hang on. She won’t be controlled by Stephanie and says she quits. Stephanie laughs at her so Brie slaps her in the face. Stephanie is STUNNED as Brie and Bryan do the YES chant.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena. This is the third match in a trilogy with Cena winning the first but Bray winning the second in a cage at Extreme Rules. The idea of the story is Bray wanting to show the evil inside of Cena and expose him as a fraud. Bray tried to attack Jerry Lawler on Monday but Cena and the Usos made the save. Tonight it’s a last man standing match.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Last man standing. Bray’s intro is extra fired up as he shouts that these fans are his people and staring Lawler down. The Family gets up on the aprons but the Usos run out to even things up. Cena knocks Bray down to start but Wyatt comes right back with a big right hand of his own. Bray’s shirt says Champion of Suffering. A running elbow puts Cena down and Bray picks him up for the dancing spot. John comes back with the running shoulders (Cole: “Cena wants to lead.”) followed by the ProtoBomb and Shuffle.

Bray runs him over again with a running knee to the ribs and demands a count. The running backsplash misses but Bray kicks off the STF and hits a release Rock Bottom for a seven count. Sister Abigail is countered but Bray runs Cena over with that cross body style move of his. Cena is knocked to the floor and Bray yells at Lawler some more. John has to fight out of a superplex and comes back with the top rope Fameasser for six.

Bray hits a quick Sister Abigail out of nowhere for eight before Cena hits a wobbly AA for seven, with Bray doing the Spider thing to break the count. The Family and the Usos start fighting with Jimmy hitting a HUGE dive to take the other three out. Bray hits Cena in the ribs with a chair and a second shot connects to the back. A third shot put Cena on the floor but he’s up at seven.

Bray misses a chair shot and drops the chair, allowing Cena to blast him in the ribs and back for good measure. Wyatt is back up at seven but Cena has brought in a table. An AA through the table is countered and Bray sends him through instead with the suplex slam. Cena is up at nine but a running shot with the steps puts him down again. Bray conducts the fans as they sing and stands on the steps to take a bow. This time it’s Cena with a chair shot and a steps shot to put Bray down. Cena’s elbow is bleeding a bit.

The cult leader rolls outside but Cena throws the steps over the top and RIGHT INTO BRAY’S FACE. I remember Kane doing that to Umaga many years ago but this looked far better. It’s only good for eight though so it’s time for a second table. We look at a replay and miss what looked like Sister Abigail on the floor. Cena is up at eight and a replay shows it was Cena jumping off the apron but getting caught in Sister Abigail.

Bray is whipped knees first into the steps but he backdrops Cena onto the steps. The running backsplash off the steps crushes Cena but he’s up at eight. Bray picks up the chair but charges into an AA on the floor. Harper and Rowan run back out to beat up Cena and get Bray back to his feet at eight. Back in and the Family takes Cena out again and load up a table but the Usos run out for the save. Harper stops a diving Jey with a table shot to the head (and a great thud) as Bray is laid out on the floor to no count.

Two tables are set up next to each other and the Usos are put down again. Jey is able to escape a fallaway slam and kick Rowan in the face before the running Umaga attack puts him through a table leaned against the barricade. Harper slams Jimmy off the top through the two tables. We haven’t looked at Cena or Bray in about two minutes now. Bray escapes an AA on the floor and cross bodies Cena through the timekeeper’s area.

They’re both up at seven and fight through the crowd with Bray getting the better of it. Cena is thrown off camera and something explodes. Cena seems to be fine and they slug it out on an anvil case until Bray is AA’d through a wooden box. John tilts another case on top of the box to trap Bray inside for the ten count at 24:18.

Rating: B+. I’m not feeling that ending at all but there’s more to talk about here first. I really don’t get why they had a mini match between the teams. Their feud is already set up and I’d assume we get a showdown for the titles tomorrow or at Money in the Bank at the latest. It really stopped the match and while it was cool, it didn’t need to be here.

That being said, the ending just doesn’t work at all. It really makes Bray look like a goon that got caught instead of a warrior of any kind. The match was really physical but there’s no need for Cena to win here. It stops Bray cold and doesn’t play to the idea of him being a hypocrite or anything like that. Instead he just lost after being even in physicality and then getting outsmarted by Cena being clever. Not a fan of this at all.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Paige is defending after getting pinned by Fox in a non-title match. A quick knee to the back puts Fox on the apron and a floatover suplex gets two for the champion. Paige hits her in the nose to possibly make Fox cry but she trips the champion up, driving her back first onto the apron. The announcers are of course in their own little unfunny world as the girls brawl on the floor with Fox slapping a clown in the audience. Literally, he has red hair and makeup on.

Back in and Fox takes Paige down while shouting that Paige wants to ruin her face. Fox cranks on a chinlock before laying on her back (JBL: “WHY ISN’T THE REFEREE COUNTING???) to bend Paige’s back over Fox’s knees. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker has Paige in trouble before Fox throws her to the floor. This match is dragging. Back in and Fox shouts RAIN for no apparent reason before Paige makes her comeback. She charges into Fox’s knee but shrugs it off and puts on the PTO for the submission at 6:35 to retain.

Rating: D+. It’s not bad but it felt like it went on for about fifteen minutes. They kind of booked themselves into a corner here as you couldn’t have Paige lose this early but it’s kind of a waste of Fox’s recent push. This is the better ending though as Fox has lost already and it advanced the character even more. Not bad here but it was in the middle of the two matches people wanted to see.

The fans tell Fox that she tapped out but she stomps her feet and demands silence. Fox finally runs off to the back.

The expert panel (Booker T., Alex Riley and Josh Matthews) chat for a bit.

We recap the main event. It’s a rematch from last month as Shield vs. Evolution has kept trying to one up each other for months now in an effort to prove who is the better three man team. This gets the music video treatment.

Evolution vs. Shield

Anything goes and elimination rules with falls having to take place in the ring. This is going to be insane and odds are I’ll miss a lot early on but I’ll do my best. Batista is in blue while his partners are in black for an awkward visual. Brawl to start as there aren’t any tags required here. Rollins and HHH are the only ones left in the ring with Seth hitting a quick enziguri to knock HHH to the floor. All six are already in the crowd or near the entrance way with Seth diving off the barricade to take HHH down.

Ambrose and Randy fight back to ringside as the power guys fight in the aisle. Rollins throws HHH back to ringside as Reigns sends Batista into the steps. Things settle down with tagging set up, despite it being anything goes and nothing stopping triple teaming. Shield takes over on Batista to start but he’s able to take Rollins into the corner for a heel beating. It’s quickly off to Ambrose though and a double snap suplex puts Orton down. Dean rips at Randy’s face and it’s off to Reigns for a headbutt to Orton’s back.

Randy comes back with an uppercut and it’s Batista in off the tag but getting popped in the jaw to a nice reaction. Back to Ambrose vs. HHH with the Game LOUDLY calling some spots. Dean hangs in there for a few seconds before it’s Reigns coming in. The fans seem very interesting in this showdown. HHH is quickly shoved down so he tries a slugout, only to be backdropped with ease. Rollins comes in for Three Amigos (and an Eddie chant) as HHH is in big trouble. Why Orton and Batista wait on the apron instead of helping isn’t quite clear.

HHH blocks a top rope something from Dean with a boot to the face and Evolution sends Ambrose to the floor to take over. Even Lawler gets in a shot at how out of place Batista looks in the blue. Orton comes in for the circle stomp and a mat slam gets two. Since this is such a serious match, let’s stop to talk about Bluetista being the #1 trend in the world with the announcers laughing. Ambrose sends HHH to the floor and Orton gives the boss a pep talk instead of STOPPING THE TAG. It works though as HHH gets back in for the save but the facebuster sends Dean into the ropes for his bounce back clothesline.

The hot tag brings in Reigns to clean house as everything breaks down. The apron dropkick nails Batista and the Superman Punch gets two with Orton making the save. HHH whips Rollins hard into the barricade and Ambrose gets posted. Everyone but Batista and Reigns head into the crowd and Rollins dives at HHH, only to get nailed in the head by a monitor shot from HHH. Reigns loads up the announce table but Orton saves Batista from immense pain. Orton finishes loading up the table and the TripleBomb crushes Reigns. Ambrose and Rollins are still down somewhere in the crowd and no one has been eliminated yet.

Referees come out to check on Reigns and Evolution does Shield’s pose, only to have Dean dive off the barricade to put all three down. Rollins hits the flip dive and crashes into the barricade to put everyone down. Ambrose hammers on Orton and the five still on their feet head to the entrance. Evolution is in full control with Reigns down and HHH blasts Rollins in the back with some chair shots. Orton drops Ambrose onto an open chair and Rollins is Pedigreed onto a chair as well. Reigns is all alone in the ring and Evolution slowly walks down the aisle.

The spinebuster puts Reigns down and the stomping begins. The steps are brought in and they rips Reign’s vest off. Orton throws in some kendo sticks and Reigns is laid across the steps for a caning. Batista and Orton get in their shots as this is turning into a torture scene. Now they want chairs but Reigns is to his knees. He jumps off the steps for a Superman Punch to Orton but HHH lays him out with the chair. Reigns falls to the floor and HHH hits him with the chair again.

They get back to the entrance and Ambrose is hiding behind part of the set. He springs out and attacks Evolution but he’s quickly put down by the numbers game. There are still no eliminations as Evolution surrounds Reigns. Rollins dives off the bottom of the Titantron to take all three of them down and all six are on the floor. Seth crawls back to the ring and everyone else crawls after him. Batista is in first and he spears Seth out of the air, setting up the Batista Bomb but Rollins escapes, allowing Reigns to spear Batista down for the elimination at 27:36.

An RKO out of nowhere gets two on Rollins with Reigns making the save. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT on Roman but Dean makes the save and hits Dirty Deeds on the chair to make it 3-1 at 28:43. HHH is left all alone but he hits Dean low to slow him down. A Pedigree looks to end Ambrose but Reigns hits the Superman Punch for the save. Batista spears Reigns down before leaving. Orton slides HHH the sledgehammer and Ambrose gets knocked cold. Rollins hits the top rope knee to knock HHH down though and the spear gives Reigns the final pin at 31:07.

Rating: B+. This was….long. It’s WAY better if you cut out the stupid tagging part that ate up fifteen minutes and just let them go to war. It completely misses the point of the match being ANYTHING GOES by making them stick to some structure that has no enforcement at all. The stuff after that was really good but it took too long to get there. Shield pitching a shutout should end this feud for good and hopefully it does, as there’s just no reason for them to fight again. It wasn’t as good as I was expecting due to the first half, but the stuff to end it was really good.

A lot of highlights end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This was a really solid show all around with only the decent Divas match being close to bad. Everything else was anywhere between solid to awesome with the two main events being really good stuff. Payback has been awesome both years it’s been around, despite being a glorified B show. I really liked this though and the whole thing delivered far better than I was expecting. Great stuff.

Results
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Small package
Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Shell Shock to Rhodes
Rusev b. Big E. – Accolade
Kofi Kingston b. Bo Dallas via DQ when Kane interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam – Bull Hammer
John Cena b. Bray Wyatt – Wyatt couldn’t answer the ten count
Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO
Shield b. Evolution – Spear to HHH

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Brie wound up quitting (and slapping Stephanie HARD) so Stephanie couldn’t control her. In theory Bryan is still champion, but there’s no word on when he’ll be able to compete again. There was a rumor that Brie wanted to start a family so this might be a way to write her off TV.

We’ll start with the preshow as always. This is one of the obvious matches as there’s no way they’re unmasking Torito and take away any money they could get from selling bull masks. Hornswoggle can leave 3MB and start getting evil to promote the Leprechaun movie. The match should be fun though as both guys can actually work a match.

I’ll get the other obvious match out of the way: Rusev destroys Big E. for his first meaningful win. No questions here.

Paige retains the Divas Title. She’s too big of a deal to not get the belt here, and are people really going to complain about Alicia Fox having a push wasted? I could go for her in those white shorts again though.

Barrett beats Van Dam. There’s just no reason for RVD to win but the match should be entertaining enough.

I think Cesaro vs. Sheamus goes to a draw and Sheamus keeps the belt. Hopefully they’re not tying Cesaro down to the US Title and let him get the briefcase or maybe even the title. Either way it would seem he’s heading for a match with Brock so why give him a worthless midcard title? The match should be good though.

That leaves us with the two main events. I’m hoping Bray beats Cena, as Cena beating him for three seconds was bad enough, but keeping him down for ten seconds would just be horrible. Bray winning would allow him to do a bunch of crazy stuff that could be very interesting. I’m really not sure where he’s going, but it’s in a bad direction if Cena beats him. Also it’s not like Cena hasn’t lost a last man standing match before so this isn’t the biggest stretch in the world.

Finally, Shield almost has to beat Evolution. There’s just no reason for Evolution to win here as they have nothing to gainand with Batista likely leaving, it would be a good way to get him out. The elimination and anything goes rules should make things even more entertaining.

For a bonus, I think Bryan hands over the title, even though it means sitting through a lot of stupid drama that involves the Bellas and Stephanie getting WAY too much screen time. Bryan can bring the acting at times though and he’ll likely get a lot of time to do so tomorrow night. I still think the title goes above the ring at Money in the Bank, which should be a good way to get some people to care

Overall Payback looks predictable but entertaining. To be fair, that’s almost the same thing that was said about Wrestlemania and it was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. This has a lot of potential to be awesome and hopefully it means we have a good summer to look forward to.

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A monster, a monster, he’s turned into a monster. It’s Abyss.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

From March 17, 2004 and this is a ladder match for the #1 contendership. The brawl is on immediately and AJ hits the Pele (called a bicycle kick here) to stagger the monster. AJ tries to hit the ropes but Abyss hits a HARD clothesline to take his head off. A chop that would make Big Show cringe puts AJ down and Abyss goes to get the ladder. Abyss shoves AJ down with the ladder from the floor but AJ just rams into Abyss to knock him back to the floor. Styles goes up the ladder but hops down and moves the ladder closer to the ropes. It takes too long to set up though and Abyss shoves the ladder down.

Both guys are back inside now and Abyss whips Styles hard into the ladder. The monster climbs up VERY slowly so AJ makes an easy save before bulldogging him onto the ladder. A springboard dropkick sends Abyss to the floor and Styles follows out with a dive. Now it’s AJ going up but Abyss blasts him in the back with a chair before wedging it between the ropes in the corner. Shock Treatment puts AJ down again and Abyss pulls out another ladder. This one stays outside though as he bridges it between the ring and the barricade.

AJ blocks a chokeslam by biting Abyss’ fingers but the monster throws him head first into the chair in the corner to knock Styles loopy. Abyss throws in some more chairs but AJ counters a powerbomb into the Styles Clash (really a pancake due to the legs not being wrapped around Abyss’ arms but close enough) in a very surprising power display. AJ goes up the ladder for a 450 splash, drawing a well earned THIS IS AWESOME chant.

They both climb again but AJ slows Abyss down with some kicks to the head. AJ can’t reach the contract so he busts out a sunset powerbomb to put Abyss through two chairs set up in the corner. Cue Raven to distract AJ for no explained reason, allowing Abyss to shove the ladder over, sending Styles FACE FIRST into the bridged ladder. Abyss easily gets the contract. Apparently Raven was trying to get Russo’s attention or something.

Rating: B+. They had my favorite match ever in TNA so it’s no surprise that I liked this too. It’s the David vs. Goliath formula which is going to work almost every time, especially when you have two people that can work at a high level. The ending felt abrupt but the big spots almost all worked here. Really good stuff, as expected.

Abyss would appear on the first episode of Impact from June 4, 2004.

Shark Boy vs. Abyss

Sharky goes after Abyss and bites his way out of a chokeslam. A high cross body is caught in an easy slam before the Black Hole Slam ends this quick. Total squash for Abyss.

The most famous match type of Abyss’ career has always been Monster’s Ball. He would be in the first incarnation at Victory Road 2004.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

It’s back to the AJ feud with my favorite TNA match ever. From Lockdown 2005.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

For the few of you that might be wondering, this is my favorite TNA match ever. AJ is YOUNG looking here which is saying a lot as he’s still young today but here he looks like he’s about 19. He’s a two time world champion here though which is never mentioned anymore for no apparent reason. Abyss is listed at 350lbs here again but he’s a LOT slimmer looking here.

He still has the chains here which were a nice touch for him. I have no idea why but they are. AJ dives through the door to take down Abyss before he gets in. Abyss tries to whip him into the railing but AJ baseball slides UNDERNEATH the railing and jumps up onto it and hits a rana to take down Abyss. That was freaking awesome and happened inside of five seconds.

All AJ to start as we’re still on the floor. Abyss had more or less been unstoppable recently since splitting from his stablemate Alex Shelley (let that sink in for a bit) so this is a major showdown and seeing Abyss reeling is odd to see. Abyss fights him back and whips him into the railing again so this time AJ channels his inner Morrison and double jumps up to a platform into the crowd, spins around and jumps over FIVE ROWS of fans to his the forearm on Abyss. This is one of the most awesome performances I’ve ever seen and we’re maybe three minutes into this.

AJ dives at Abyss on the railing ala Sting but instead of crashing into it clears the railing by a good foot and hits the ground in the crowd. Abyss pounds on him a bit but AJ just kicks the heck out of him to escape for a bit. West talks about Kenny Chesney for absolutely no apparent reason.

They open the door of the cage after about six minutes of brawling. The difference between this and the stupid stuff before: this was INCREDIBLY entertaining and the fans were way into it as opposed to Jarrett and Waltman walking around and occasionally hitting each other with something. AJ and Abyss never stopped moving and the fans were into it because of it. The difference here: hard work works better than walking around hitting each other with weapons.

AJ punches Abyss HARD but gets the cage door slammed into his arm and then his face where he snaps down to the floor. It looked like he got hit by a bus or something as fast as he hit the ground. Great selling there. AJ is busted open and Abyss pounds away even more. AJ finally in the cage now as Abyss looks under the ring for the bag of tacks. About eight and a half minutes in they’re in the cage together.

Abyss chokes him with the chain and we play tug of war. AJ simply will not quit and keeps hammering away to no avail though. With the chain on the top turnbuckle, Abyss launches AJ over his head in kind of a forced leapfrog and his head slams into the chain. The fans think this is awesome and for once they’re right. They stop for a bit for the a neck crank and AJ sells the heck out of it too.

AJ charges again but Abyss grabs him in a gorilla press and LAUNCHES him up to just let him crash down. He tries it again but AJ counters into a DDT onto the chain. Two punches and an enziguri takes Abyss down as does a headscissors. AJ hits a moonsault press but Abyss just lets him bounce off which was cool looking. AJ sends him into a chair into the corner that Abyss set up and gets a German suplex for two that looked very good.

He goes for the Styles Clash but Abyss is way too big for that. Chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two. AJ gets another running start but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a VERY long two. Dang Abyss looks awesome (what am I saying?) when he really uncorks that thing. Yep there are the tacks. Black Hole Slam into them are countered as is a powerbomb.

AJ gets the Styles Clash (ok more like a falling face first slam but we’ll give it to him) into the tacks for two. Wow I would have bet on that being the ending. You know if I didn’t know the ending already. Abyss is ROCKED here which was unthinkable until this match. AJ goes to the top of the cage and Abyss can’t catch him. His solution: throw the referee at the cage to knock AJ off. That was awesome.

Abyss climbs up as AJ is barely hanging on. He goes up with the chain and might be thinking to hang him as he had on Impact. Yep that’s what he’s going for. AJ is on the outside and Abyss on the inside and yep he’s hanging him. AJ gets the chain off somehow and Abyss grabs the chokeslam. AJ bites his fingers and opens those things up! AJ jumps off the top of the cage and hits a freaking sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks from the top of the cage to get the pin as Abyss is DEAD.

Rating: A+. OH YES! AJ was absolutely amazing here and it was definitely Abyss’ best match ever. This was just a total war for twenty minutes with AJ never stopping and taking it to Abyss much like Flair did back at Starrcade 93 to Vader. There was no gimmick here as it was just a big old fight in a cage with weapons brought in for fun. AJ would get the title the next month….and then lose it to Raven the next month because the world was clamoring for more Raven and less AJ. Uh…sure. He wouldn’t get it back for over four years.

Abyss would enter into a Gauntlet for the Gold at Hard Justice for a title shot at some point in the future.

Gauntlet For The Gold

Roode is #1 and the surprise entrant Zach Gowen is #2. Get the joke from earlier now? Roode steals the prosthetic leg. West: “Put it back!” but Gowen comes back with one footed dropkicks and a reverse DDT. Eric Young comes in at #3. The intervals are only a minute long which includes their time coming to the ring. Remember at this point it’s over the top to eliminate people.

Roode gets a pretty evil one legged giant swing on Gowen. Cassidy Riley is #4. Ok now the clock doesn’t start until he gets to the ring. He helps against the Canadians and Gowen hits a leg lariat on Roode. Here’s Skipper at #5 and the clock is under Young rules again. Skipper takes a lariat from Roode but hits a nice moonsault to take him down. The ring is getting a little full now so everyone has something to do.

Shark Boy comes in at #6 to a nice reaction. Thank goodness he’s not Stone Cold yet. He won a match on the preshow to get in. Sharky hits a neckbreaker on Young but Gowen takes him down. Shark Boy bites Gowen hard enough that Gowen goes out. So we have our first elimination. #7 is another Canadian in the form of A-1, the big power guy. He cleans house with clotheslines and stomps on Riley.

#8 is Chris Sabin. In a Matrix style move, he sets for a tornado DDT on Young but with his feet in the air, he kicks EVERYONE ELSE in the chest in a big circle before hitting the DDT. That was cool. Petey Williams is #9 to put the Canadians at full strength. He tries a Destroyer on Sharky but gets backdropped to the apron. Shark Boy goes after him and is eliminated by A-1. Eric puts out Riley to get some people out of the ring.

Sonny Siaki is #10 and he goes after the Canadians. Skipper gets REALLY stupid and tries to walk the ropes. Roode is like boy you’re stupid and clotheslines him out. Lance Hoyt is #11 and he has his own cheering section. Young is easily tossed out by Hoyt and Team Canada is down to three. Sabin can’t get Williams out and Bentley is #12. He superkicks Hoyt but is taken out by Sabin who goes out at the same time. They fight on the floor as the Canadians put out Siaki.

Here’s Jerelle Clark at #13. He’s just an X-Division guy. There are five people in at the moment: Roode, A-1, Williams, Clark and Hoyt. The Canadians help Williams on a Destroyer to put Clark out. Mikey Batts is #14 and he fires off some kicks to take down the Canadians. He’s another X-Division guy. He and Hoyt team up on Canada as The Outlaw Kip James is #15.

A HUGE cobra clutch slam kills Batts and the fans want to see it again. #16 is Trytan but Hoyt hits a big boot before Trytan even gets in. Batts is gone. Trytan is chokeslamming everyone in sight and hits a spinebuster on Hoyt. Ron Killings is #17 and gets powerslammed very quickly. As Trytan poses, all three Canadians team up to throw him out.

Apollo is #18 and he cleans house. He and Kip chop it out but Apollo charges and is low bridged out. BG James is #19 but the Canadians break up the staredown between the Outlaws. Hoyt kicks Roode out but Roode helps A-1 to get rid of Hoyt. The Outlaws team up on Petey and A-1, tossing them both out. Abyss comes in at #20 and knocks both Outlaws out to get us down to the final two.

So it’s Truth vs. Abyss for the shot and it’s a regular one on one match, meaning over the top doesn’t mean anything anymore. Abyss throws him to the floor anyway and tries to hit him with a chair but it’s taken away by the referee. Back inside now and Abyss pounds on Killings in the corner. Truth speeds things up and hits a leg lariat and a headbutt for two. Abyss gets a big boot and brings in the chain but that gets taken away.

Instead he’ll use a chair because the referee takes forever to put the chain in the corner. Truth gets the chair and hits Abyss twice in the head for two. We actually get a ref bump in this match. Is this really needed? Truth checks on him and walks into a chokeslam onto the chair for a very delayed two. Abyss tries to Earthquake down onto the chair onto Killings but Truth crotches him on the chair instead. Not that it matters though as Killings jumps into the Black Hole Slam and it’s over.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a horrible battle royal and the one minute intervals keep things moving fast enough. I’m not sure how much I like the one on one match at the end but it’s not a terrible idea I guess. Still though, like most non-Rumbles, this wasn’t a very interesting battle royal. Not awful though.

Abyss is a hardcore guy, so here’s a hardcore dream match from Genesis 2005.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

Next up was a feud with NWA World Champion Christian Cage, culminating in a Full Metal Mayhem match at Sacrifice 2006. Abyss stole the title itself before challenging to become champion.

NWA World Title: Abyss vs. Christian

This is basically a TLC match and Christian is defending. Christian immediately takes him down but can’t overcome the power soon afterwords. Abyss goes for a ladder but Christian dropkicks it back into his face. Back into the ring and Abyss throws him to the apron, only to have the ladder see-sawed into his face. They head to the floor with Christian pounding away on Abyss’ head.

Out into the crowd and they go to that wall that the people in every big TNA brawl fight to. They head back into the ring and the ladder is set up in the corner. Abyss misses a splash onto said ladder so Christian puts it up in front of the challenger. He tries a charge at the ladder but Abyss throws it back at him, knocking Christian down. Abyss wedges a chair between the ropes, and due to the law of wrestling #1, goes crashing into it for his trouble.

Christian goes up and gets his hand on the belt but Abyss makes a pretty easy save. They fight over a German onto the ladder but after neither can get it to go, it’s Christian that is sent crashing into the ladder. Abyss goes outside and sets up a pair of tables next to the ring. Now there’s a table set up in the ring as well but Christian gets in a boot to the ribs to break things up.

Abyss puts him on the ladder but misses a cross body kind of move onto the climbing instrument. A frog splash onto the ladder misses but so does a chain shot against the post. Christian chokes him with the chain but gets flipped through one of the tables at ringside. Abyss goes up but Christian makes the save with a chair. They both fall off the ladder with Christian hitting the top rope. Abyss lays out the tacks but walks into an Unprettier onto the ladder. Mitchell takes a Rock Bottom into the tacks and Abyss is put on the table. He has a chance to go for the belt but drops a frog splash through Abyss, then grabs the title.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it never hit the level that a lot of these matches hit. This felt like something you would see on a TV show, meaning that while it was good there was nothing above the usual level of violence or carnage. For a B level main event it was fine, but it’s absolutely nothing you’d ever want to see a second time unless you were completely obsessed with Christian or something.

Next up was a WAY too long feud with Sting, where Sting tried to help bring out the person behind the mask. This involved James Mitchell being revealed as Abyss’ father and a bunch of strange matches, including this one at Destination X 2007.

Sting vs. Abyss

This is a Last Rites match which means a casket match but the casket is above the ring and you have to have it lowered and then pull them to the ceiling where somehow it signifies their death and ascension or something like that. And people wonder why Russo is made fun of. Keep in mind that Abyss was world champion about two months earlier after just having been an unstoppable monster. This is what we’re getting instead.

Still on the floor as this is just a big brawl so far. As always the splash on the railing misses and Abyss takes over with a chair shot to the back. Into the ring for the first time and there are candles on the corner. Plastic ones mind you but still dude, candles? Scorpion Death Drop puts Abyss down for no cover but he was down for all of a second. One of the candelabras goes into Sting’s face and he’s busted open.

Abyss calls down the casket and the lights go all blue. LOUD fire Russo chant starts up as Sting is pouring blood. Half of the casket is shut and it becomes a regular casket match now. There’s a tombstone. The one made of rock, not the Piledriver. Scorpion goes on and Abyss taps which means nothing. Chair shot puts him down as Sting is bleeding a ton.

The fans chant boring as Sting puts the stone over Abyss’ head and breaks it with the bat. Sting gets out and Abyss shoves him into the corner with his hand around the throat. Abyss chokeslams Sting onto the casket, crushing it. The fans chant TNA, showing that it doesn’t take much to sway their emotions.

Abyss sets up a pair of chairs back to back and puts a tombstone over the top of them. He puts Sting on top for a suplex through it but Sting grabs the candelabra and blasts Abyss in the head with it, knocking them through the tombstone. Sting puts Abyss in the casket to win it before collapsing onto it and having both of them raised into the air. This is what we’re talking about by matches and angles that no one but the booker gets and he doesn’t care what the fans think.

Rating: F+. The FIRE RUSSO chants were right. There were candles, tombstones and a broken casket. On top of that they had only a weak match at best. Sting’s blood was impressive but at the same time it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Weak match overall and rather stupid to say the least. This feud went on forever and seemingly never stopped.

Sting and Abyss would soon join forces (because wrestling says they have to) and feud with Christian’s Coalition, including this match at Hard Justice 2007.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

Father Mitchell would come back with his other son, Judas Mesias, who challenged Abyss in a very bloody feud. From Against All Odds 2008.

Judas Mesias vs. Abyss

This was taped three weeks ago and is in the Impact Zone down in Orlando. There aren’t any ropes but rather barbed wire. Abyss pushes over a cameraman on the way to the ring. For some reason that made me chuckle. The fans are behind Abyss here. Well that’s good since he’s the face. The lack of ropes makes things look really weird here.

Abyss does the arm pose and Mesias looks at him. It’s weird seeing the face tower over the heel like he does here. They fight to try to push the other into the wire but neither has any luck. Mesias hits a dropkick and Abyss hits wire, cutting his arm a bit. Mesias goes in also, but in his case it’s side first. Drop toehold sends Abyss into the wire. This is going to be one of those matches where all we’re doing is sending people into the wire isn’t it?

Abyss slides under the wire as the fans chant who’s your daddy. He finds a chair wrapped in barbed wire and the fans want blood apparently. Abyss puts the chair on the chest of Mesias but it goes into Abyss’ crotch. That has to hurt a bit no? Barbed wire chair to Abyss’ head. BIG cut over the eye of Abyss.

Mesias brings in a barbed wire board with a slight bit of help from Mitchell. They’re on the floor now with Mesias in control. Abyss finds another board and Mesias is bleeding from the side. The new board is set up between the railing and the table like a platform. Abyss tries to chokeslam Mitchell through it but gets blocked by Mesias and it’s back into the ring. Chokeslam onto the barbed wire is blocked but a gorilla press drop isn’t and Mesias is all cut up.

Abyss’ arms are a mess. There’s ANOTHER barbed wire board being brought in by Abyss. Mesias gets up on the apron so Abyss chokeslams him down onto the board that was set up like a platform. Time for Abyss to go after Mitchell now and it’s a Black Hole Slam for the manager. Mesias pops up somehow and it’s a Black Hole Slam for him too.

Abyss gets hit low to shift the momentum again. Mesias more or less tackles Abyss into the boards for Abyss’ first major bump of the match. They slug it out and Mesias thinks it’s smart to charge at a guy whose finisher is a swinging slam. It connects onto one of the boards and this is over.

Rating: C+. Well they got the violence stuff pretty well I guess. All things considered this was pretty good. Thankfully this feud was OVER after this as I couldn’t take much more from it. Tenay saying that Abyss could be added to the list of hardcore legends like Funk, Brody, Cactus Jack and the Sheik is a big nauseating but you get the idea. Better than you would expect but just what you would expect if that makes sense.

In 2008, Kurt Angle started feuding with Jeff Jarrett. Jeff won the first match and Angle wanted to go again, but Jeff said Angle had to beat Abyss first. From Turning Point 2008.

Kurt Angle vs. Abyss

This is Falls Count Anywhere. I kind of dig Angle’s music. Angle needs to stay away from the red and white stripe singlet. It just doesn’t work for him. Abyss is in the prison suit thing and looks even stupider. It’s all monster to start as you would expect.

We’re in the crowd now and all Abyss can do is throw punches it seems. Angle gets a chair out of the front row. Great to see that someone got up and left in one of the biggest matches on the card. Angle does the running front flip off the stage onto Abyss that you see on a ton of TNA highlight reels.

It doesn’t really matter as Abyss is dominating maybe 8 seconds later. West says Angle kicked Abyss in the nuts. That sounded odd. They go through a wall and are under the stage. Always good to see Angle do new stuff. The cameras lose them so we completely stop for a bit as they come through the other side of the wall.

We’re back in the ring now as this has been your standard hardcore match so far. Angle Slam gets two of course. Why does everyone put the chair between the ropes like that? Angle gets chokeslammed for two. Angle actually hits the moonsault. It’s just finisher to finisher now.

Speaking of which there’s the ankle lock for just a second and it goes into the Black Hole Slam. I hate this part of matches most of the time. We head to the Spanish announce table and Angle goes up the scaffolding behind it. And there goes Abyss down through the table for the pin

Rating: B-. Not bad and it was intense, but this was really just your run of the mill hardcore match. Angle looked solid here but there was very limited drama. That forward flip though was great looking. The in ring stuff kind of sucked though and Abyss is just so limited it’s not even funny. Fun match though.

After all the violence, Abyss finally found a friend in Matt Morgan. They would team up and dominate a few weak teams, eventually getting a Tag Team Title shot at Final Resolution in December 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss

Beer Money has Jackie with them and no one cares about her at all, period. Storm has the Boozer Cruiser thing too and I still hate it. Big brawl to start of course with everyone in there at once. Everyone runs around and Abyss goes to the back for a bit. Morgan dives off the top to the floor to take out Beer Money in a cool spot as Abyss is back, accomplishing nothing with his leaving.

I really hope the bell rang already and I just missed it so that the time so far has been taken off the time of this match. And there’s my answer as this is all pre-match stuff. Great. Beer Money try to run and that gets them nowhere. Standard you have until ten or the titles are forfeited jazz. Abyss and Storm finally officially start us off which is apparently the meat of this feud.

Storm cracked Abyss with some bottles and the monster is ticked off about it if you’re curious about the details for some odd reason. We get word that the X Title is held up AGAIN. Sweet goodness man just have the freaking title match and have it stick. This is what we mean by overbooking if you’re curious.

Morgan beats up Storm for a bit and asks the crowd if they want to see Storm vs. Abyss. Didn’t we see that like two minutes ago or is my memory going already? Beer Money has the titles here if I forgot to mention that. Storm runs from Abyss so we get Roode instead. I prefer Rick but this is fine I suppose. Roode is in trouble so Storm goes off to get some beer.

The fans are all over Beer Money here. Morgan sets for the Carbon Footprint and that twat waffle Jackie gets involved which thankfully isn’t a DQ. Storm finally comes in for a bit and works over Morgan’s knee for awhile. Half crab goes on for awhile as Beer Money does the referee isn’t looking so we’ll pretend we tagged and swear we did and get away with it because the referee is biased against faces technique.

Abyss finally comes in and we get Storm vs. Abyss which apparently has been built up for three or four days! Shock Treatment to Storm gets a long two. Storm tries to get a shot with the bottle but Abyss intercepts it. Jackie interferes and Storm gets a shot with brass knuckles to end it. Not huge on this one at all.

Rating: D+. It’s watchable I suppose but it wasn’t interesting at all and no one really cared in the slightest. Abyss vs. Storm was allegedly the selling point of the match and that never happened at all really. The ending was overdone to no end which should shock no one at all. It’s ok I guess but it felt thrown together which is never really good at all.

As is almost always the case in wrestling, the team split, leading to another violent feud. Here’s a big match between them at Lockdown 2009.

Doomsday Chamber of Blood: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

I’d assume it’s a first blood match. Oh ok you win by pin or submission but they have to be bleeding first. Mike makes sure to inform us that this is NOT a first blood match though, even it’s about bleeding first. Morgan had turned heel again and turned on Abyss. Is anyone really surprised by that? Morgan has a chair to start but it gets knocked back into his face.

Lots of punches to start. This is during the Dr. Stevie period for Abyss and him being all insane and whatnot like that. Basic big man match to start as the fans say they want blood. I’ve always wanted someone to come out with a needle or something and get a tiny poke with it to make the guy bleed and take credit for a win like that. Abyss can’t bring himself to use a chair and he’s in trouble because of it.

Morgan throws weapons out of the ring to protect himself, drawing great heat. I see no barbed wire at all mind you. The chair to Abyss’ head busted him open so Morgan threw them out as he had the stuff he needed already. That makes sense actually. Morgan gets a decent dropkick. Fans are rather bored here but not entirely. This gimmick match overload is starting to wear on them though.

He busts out the bag of glass, making the whole idea of him throwing the chair out TOTALLY POINTLESS. The fans want Stevie. Morgan can’t manage to shove glass into the head of the monster. Abyss comes back and rams him into the cage a bunch and gets a chokeslam but he can’t pin him due to the lack of laceration. Morgan misses a cross body and down goes the referee.

Abyss gets some glass and jams it into Morgan’s head which would likely kill him but who cares about that? He covers Morgan and here’s a second referee for the two count. Abyss goes to the floor and gets the chair. There has been NO barbed wire which was advertised. Dr. Stevie is revealed to be Stevie Richards to the shock of NO ONE and his distractions lets a Carbon Footprint gets two.

The fans chant ECW as you can feel Vince’s lawyers smile from here. Yes they actually made not only a PPV but a major angle out of this. After Stevie steals the chair, Abyss goes under the ring and gets a bag full of tacks. THEN WHY DID HE GO FOR THE CHAIR IF HE KNEW THOSE WERE THERE???

Stevie STORMS, yes STORMS I say, the ring and beats up Abyss which gets him nowhere. Sweet goodness could they not overbook a single match? And then Morgan jumps him and gives him a chokebomb into the tacks for the easy pin. Well I’m glad to see they got the important plot point of STEVIE RICHARDS in this.

Rating: D+. I saw no barbed wire in there which was promised. The rest of this was nothing special in the slightest. Again they overdid it for the sake of the live crowd and having no one care about the actual match due to them just wanting Steven. This wasn’t anything great at all and was just another Abyss weapons match which we’ve seen a thousand times.

Time for another hardcore dream match, but Abyss is fired if he uses thumbtacks.  From Bound For Glory 2009.

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Stevie Richards is referee and is the doctor again. LOUD pyro for Abyss. Foley jumps him on the ramp and is all casual about hitting him with the barbed wire bat. I like that. I’m reading his book at the moment and haven’t gotten to this part if it’s in there. Almost immediately Foley goes up the set, climbing a tower. Abyss follows and gets knocked through part of the ramp.

Foley climbs down as Stevie says Abyss is done. Foley gets a running start and drives the bat into Abyss as he’s still in that hole in the ramp/stage. Foley, the face, of course gets cheered. Stevie is the cheerleader dude here as the match just kind of stops until Abyss climbs through the stage. We have a barded wire board from somewhere and he makes a platform with it between the guard rail and the ring.

And there’s another board that’s just like the first. Double armed DDT to Abyss to the board. Richards beats up Abyss too because EVERYONE loved that angle. Foley gets a bat shot into Abyss’ arm to open it up. His head is busted too. Foley goes into the wire board now then Abyss does the same. Make that a sandwich as the other is under him. Naturally it only gets two.

Foley busts out the tacks and Abyss sets to chokeslam him onto them but he’s not allowed. Down goes Stevie and here’s Daffney to give Foley a Taser. And just to make it more stupid it explodes as Foley jabs him with it. They TOTALLY botch it as Abyss misses his kickout and Foley gets three and Abyss raises his shoulder at what would have been four so the referee says he kicked out anyway.

Crowd totally boos that out of the building as Stevie pulls the referee out when Abyss goes for the pin. Daffney goes through the platform they made earlier to get a HOLY SMOKES chant. Stevie tries to beat up Abyss and goes into the tacks for his trouble sans shirt. Chokeslam for Foley and we get the Over the Edge 98 finish as Abyss slams Richards’ hand down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally violent but overbooked. Also the botch messed things completely up as it was clearly three and everyone knew it. These matches are fine once in awhile but does it really prove anything? This was a far cry from the Edge or Orton matches and it just didn’t work that well for me. Granted I’m not a fan of hardcore so it’s not my style anyway.

Time for a trip to Mexico as Abyss was brought in as a mercenary at Triplemania XVIII.

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

The tights of Cibernetico says Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

Soon after this, Abyss would start saying that THEY were coming. He would also get a World Title shot at Victory Road 2010.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Everybody goes for Abyss to start and it doesn’t work. The crowd is odd here for some reason. This goes nowhere as Abyss just gets up. Hardy and Anderson get him down for like a second and we’re into the usual formula here to an extent. Yep we’re in the formula. That’s fine though as it’s really the only way to do this.

We’re mostly just killing time thus far. The crowd seems a bit dead for some reason but maybe it’s just been a long show. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault on Anderson for two as Hardy saves. Abyss is gone for the moment so I’m waiting on his return to break up a pin. Instead we get a Tower of Doom with RVD taking the big bump from it. The fans chant TNA for a heel doing a big move. That sums things up pretty well.

Everyone is in the ring now and RVD is in control. I have no idea why everyone is trying to beat Abyss. He’s supposed to be unhurtable but they keep going for him. The fans chant for Anderson. This is really just a bunch of near falls with moves on the side. It’s not bad, but it’s the hazard of multiple man matches. Mic Check on Abyss gets two. Black Hole to Hardy gets two. Abyss looks stupid counting the pin.

Anderson and Hardy finally go at it and it gets NOTHING. This crowd is just out of it. Remember who these fans are too. Abyss is on Hardy who is on Anderson so RVD hits the Five Star for the pin. Wow that was anticlimactic.

Post match Abyss beats up RVD and gets the nail board which misses everything. The show ends with Abyss holding the board and RVD looking at him. Yeah that was stupid.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It could have been worse, but at the same time there just wasn’t anything at all special here. The ending to both the match and the show just completely sucked, but what did you really expect? I see no reason at all for RVD to retain there, so of course he did. Whatever.

After feuding with Van Dam for a little while longer, Abyss would be revealed as one of the major stars who combined to form Immortal. This earned him a TV Title shot at Genesis 2011.

TV Title: Abyss vs. Douglas Williams

Yeah because this is EXACTLY what the people wanted to see. Williams has a hurt hand here. Sunset flip can’t hit early on as this is power vs. technical here. Abyss rams the hand into the post to take over. Williams slaps away but can’t do anything of note. Chokeslam can’t hit but Abyss puts him down anyway off a big boot. The fans want AJ.

Here’s the majority of this match: Williams tries to fight, Abyss hits him in the hand, Williams gets another shot in. A jumping back elbow from the second rope sets up a top rope knee drop for Williams for two. Running knee in the corner is countered into a big chokeslam for two. Abyss goes to the floor and finds Janice. It’s merely a ruse though as AJ comes down to clock Williams with the belt. Janice hits the floor again and a Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the TV Title. Get on to something else now.

Rating: C-. Match was ok I guess but dang dude this Immortal thing is getting to be such complete and utter nonsense it’s unreal. Abyss is a champion now and that’s all fine and good apparently. I’m not interested in this storyline at all and I know very few people that are, but TNA insists it’s good so that’s what we’re going to get. Oh joy indeed.

After vacating the title due to an injury, Abyss was sent after the X-Division Title on Impact, May 19, 2011.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian

Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu. Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt. Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt. That doesn’t work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.

Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count. Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss. Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee. Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title he’s never won at 5:05. Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that. Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.

Rating: C+. Just a David vs. Goliath match but with a nice little twist of Abyss outsmarting Kaz when he couldn’t beat him with just straight power. I’m thinking this might actually be the beginning of the end for the division as there really isn’t much of a point to the thing at the moment. The TV Title is fine for a midcard title and despite the whole no limits thing, it’s almost always been seen as a Cruiserweight Title. Anyway, not a bad match but nothing of note at all.

Despite being handed titles, Abyss would leave Immortal in late 2011. They wanted him back though and sent Bully Ray to accomplish the goal. This led to a match at Genesis 2012 and if Ray wins, Abyss has to rejoin the team.

Bully Ray vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, which basically means hardcore. Ray immediately hits the floor and walks around for a bit. He grabs a chair and feels all mighty, but Abyss gets one of his own. Here’s a chair duel and Abyss shrugs off a chair shot. Ray walks into a chokeslam which he pops up from and a big boot takes Abyss down for a good 1 second. Abyss cracks him with a chair to take over and goes to get a staple gun and cheese grater.

Ray gets in a chain shot but a trashcan is no sold. With more weapon shots, Ray grabs a kendo stick. Abyss hits the floor and finds Janice, making Ray run to the back. Abyss follows and then they’re back already. They weren’t off camera for two seconds. Back at ringside and Abyss goes into a barbed wire board. Abyss’ arm is bleeding. He throws Ray in and grabs a pair of bags.

He doesn’t open them yet and instead it’s a cheese grater to the balls. Bag #1 has thumbtacks. Ray kicks him low, shouts about how his balls hurt, and gets a table. According to wrestling law #1 though, Ray goes through it via a chokeslam for two. There are two barbed wire boards in the ring now but Ray Rock Bottoms Abyss onto one for two.

Ray slams the other board on top of Abyss and hits the backsplash off the middle rope. Ok that was kind of awesome. Since it’s TNA though, it only gets two. Ray gets Janice but walks into a chokeslam onto the tacks….for two. Bully gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a kendo stick. He beats Abyss down with it via about 12 shots but for some reason hits the ropes. That’s enough for a Black Hole Slam onto the barbed wire for the pin at 15:28.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun and very violent hardcore match. The key to this one: we hadn’t seen it in awhile which made it have more, pardon the pun, impact. The no selling at the beginning was pretty fun and the big spots worked, but at some point it got kind of ridiculous. To be fair though, that’s the point. At least Immortal didn’t get a new member though so that’s a plus.

Later in the year, Abyss disappeared. Soon after this, Abyss’ brother Joseph Park would debut and say he was looking for the missing monster. Park of course became a wrestler and had a match against Aces and 8’s member Doc at Turning Point 2012.

Doc vs. Joseph Park

Doc is Luke Gallows remember. Park is always amazing in this role given how inept he can make himself look. He tries single leg takedown but Doc just laughs at him. Some wild right hands miss Doc until one accidentally catches him, ticking the biker off. They head to the floor where Park does a lot of running but manages to send Doc into the steps. Back in and Doc loads up a studded belt around his fist but the referee takes it away. Then we stop, because it’s hammer time. That of course gets taken away and Park pounds away.

The next three minutes or so are just Doc beating on Park with basic stuff and there’s only so much you can say about punches. Park starts a comeback but gets hit in the head with the belt to bust him open. He goes into a rage and hits the Black Hole Slam before turning back into Park. Park grabs a chair to whack Doc in the back with for two, but that’s all he’s got as Doc chokeslams him down for the pin at 11:01.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and that’s where it died. At the end of the day, the joke with Park has been going on for months now and the fans clearly get it. Once the fans get what’s going on, the joke stops being as funny, which means it’s probably time to pull the plug on it, or at least move things forward. The match was bad though as it should have been about five minutes shorter.

Over time, Park would start freaking out if he saw blood. These moments got him a TV Title shot at Slammiversary 2013.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Joseph Park

Park doesn’t show up due to the beatdown from earlier tonight so D-Von talks some trash about the Boston Celtics. D-Von demands a ten count for Park to get out here….and there’s still no Park so D-Von retains.

D-Von of course makes the eternal mistake of running his mouth, saying that if Abyss was here, he’d take a beating like Park would have. You all know what’s coming next.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Abyss

Abyss cleans house of Knux and kicks D-Von in the face as the bell rings. Knux interferes from the floor to let D-Von get in a forearm to the face and take over with some very basic offense. Knee drops and right hands abound but a middle rope splash misses the monster. Abyss hits a splash in the corner followed by a chokeslam and the Black Hole Slam for the pin and the title at 3:49.

Rating: D. The match was barely there but it was the right result. D-Von has done nothing at all with the title in the six months he’s held it so maybe Abyss will actually defend the thing. If nothing else the split personalities deal is interesting when you add in a title. Nothing to see here, but that wasn’t the point of the match.

Park would start teaming with Eric Young and the pair had some success. They were in a gauntlet match at Bound For Glory 2013 with the winning team getting a Tag Team Title shot later in the show.

Tag Team Gauntlet

It’s a four team gauntlet match with the winning team getting the tag title shot on the PPV. We start with Bad Influence vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero. The Bro Mans will be fourth due to Robbie E. winning a four way on Impact. Eric Young and Joseph Park will be third due to winning a drawing earlier tonight. Hernandez cleans house to start and Bad Influence bails to the floor. We finally get down to Daniels running into a big boot from Hernandez in the corner and take a quick break.

Back with Hernandez hitting an over the shoulder face plant to stop Kazarian’s momentum, allowing for a double tag to Chavo vs. Daniels. Chavo gets two off a headscissors and everything breaks down. Hernandez runs over Bad Influence and hits the big shoulder to run over Kazarian. Daniels low bridges SuperMex to the floor but walks into Three Amigos from Chavo. Not that it matters though as Kaz comes back in to distract Chavo, giving Daniels a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:30.

Young and Park are in next but get jumped on the way in. Park runs over Kazarian and slams him down, only to have Daniels chop block him down to give Kazarian control. Bad Influence double teams the big man as the fans chant for Young. Kazarian can’t quite get a sunset flip but avoids a seated senton from the big guy.

We take another break and come back with Eric getting the hot tag and pounding away on Daniels in the corner. Young flips over the corner and does Daniels’ strut down the apron before coming back for a belly to belly and a near fall. Kazarian makes the save and gets sent to the floor, allowing Daniels to hit a release Rock Bottom but miss the BME. Park hits a Samoan Drop on Daniels to give Young the pin at 16:50.

Bad Influence jumps Park and Young post match and sends Park into the Ultimate X structure. The referee calls for help as Park is injured and Young is out cold in the ring. Here come the Bro Mans with special guest Mr. Olympia Phil Heath. It’s basically a handicap match here with Young getting double teamed for a big, only to make a comeback with right hands and forearms. A slam puts Robbie down and Eric drops a top rope elbow for two. The numbers finally catch up with Eric though and a double flapjack sets up a Hart Attack for the pin and the title shot at 22:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but I liked the length of the match. Far too often in these things the falls last about 2 minutes each and are completely unrealistic when you compare them to normal wrestling matches. Having the shortest be seven and a half minutes made this far better. Also anything that keeps Chavo and Hernandez off my screen is a good thing.

We’ll wrap it up with their battle after the inevitable split. Young has since figured out that Park is Abyss, because that somehow took over a year to discover. From Impact, February 6, 2014.

Eric Young vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes. They’re fighting in the back with Young actually in control and bringing Abyss through the entrance. Abyss comes back with a big right hand and some forearms to the back and the opening bell rings. Young crawls over to a trashcan full of weapons and blasts Abyss in the back with a pipe to get the advantage, only to have Abyss backdrop him on the floor. It’s table time but Young hits a quick dropkick to get a breather.

Young goes for the mast but Abyss slams him into the apron to get a breather. They head inside for the first time with Eric coming off the top, only to jump right into Abyss’ hands. A hard clothesline drops Young again and Abyss goes outside to get a chair. The chair is placed on Eric’s ribs but he manages to turn it on its side to crotch a charging Abyss. Eric is sent into the corner and out to the apron where he comes back with a missile dropkick for two.

Just as Eric gets some momentum he gets sent face first into the chair in the corner and a chokeslam gets two. Abyss goes outside and gets his bag of tacks before loading up a superplex, only to have Young counter with a sunset powerbomb into the tacks for two. Eric goes up top but Abyss punches him off the top rope and out through the table in a huge crash. Back in and Young somehow gets his foot on the ropes to break the pin so Abyss pulls out the big weapon: Janice, the baseball bat full of nails. Young rips the mask off to save himself and reveal Joseph Park, earning himself the Black Hole Slam for the pin at 9:41.

Rating: B-. That might be a bit high but I was digging this match. It wasn’t the best hardcore match I’ve ever seen or anywhere close to it but Young was working well out there. I can tolerate him much more easily when he’s not being over the top and stupid which is what we got here. Abyss is a fun character too as there’s something awesome about a guy who just breaks stuff.

Abyss is a guy that has found his niche as TNA’s hardcore guy, but there’s a much more interesting character hidden beneath all the scars. He’s gone from being a monster to a complex character to a lawyer to the same old character he was before. There’s still a benefit to having him there but he relies on doing the same stuff over and over again.

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