Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Reliant Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

This is one of the rare shows that is almost universally praised. A lot of this is due to the atmosphere around this time. WCW has gone under and wrestling was entering a new era with the WWF in particular seeing themselves as the ultimate victors in a long war against their greatest competition. This show is the reward for everything they’ve done to get here. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Steve Blackman/Grandmaster Sexay vs. X-Factor

X-Factor is a three man team made of X-Pac, Albert (the odd man out here) and Justin Credible (former ECW and WWF wrestler). Blackman and Sexay aren’t a regular team but Scotty is out with a neck injury. Earlier today, Sexay recruited Blackman to dance and the eternally serious Steve actually agreed. Before the match, Blackman actually lives up to his promise and it’s better than I was expecting.

It’s a brawl to start and the fans are already some of the loudest I’ve ever heard. Albert gets in a shot to Sexay, setting up a big spinning kick from X-Pac. Sexay clotheslines both of them and it’s off to Blackman for his martial arts. Everything breaks down and a double superkick puts Blackman away at 2:44. Not a bad little match actually.

The opening video makes Wrestlemania seem almost like a religious experience. People around the world are shown watching (On televisions that probably don’t have pay per view, including one couple watching in the back of their car. I’m also not sure why they showed a sad clown or women dancing in a field.) as Freddie Blassie narrates about how this is the night where moments and legends are made. This is one of the first years to make Wrestlemania out to be exponentially bigger than anything else in the WWF and it really adds a lot to the show.

The Astrodome looks amazing with a sea of people and the very cool looking ceiling with daylight still coming in. The ramp is really long as well which makes for some lengthy entrances.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho is defending. Regal (who comes out second) is WWF Commissioner and Jericho found him very boring. This didn’t set well with Regal, who started tormenting Jericho by putting him in various handicap matches, such as against the entire Right to Censor or one on two against the Dudley Boyz. Jericho relieved himself in Regal’s tea and dressed up as Doink the Clown (I still don’t quite get that one) to get on Regal’s nerves. Regal attacked Jericho and injured his shoulder so the champion isn’t totally healthy.

They start fast with Jericho hitting a forearm and spinwheel kick to knock Regal to the floor, setting up a nice plancha. Back in and Regal (with his chest blood red from some chops) has to escape a Walls of Jericho attempt and sends the left shoulder into the post. That shoulder wasn’t injured coming in but maybe Regal just wants to keep them even. Regal takes the turnbuckle pad off like a true villain is supposed to do. This is before he had VILLAIN written on his trunks as he was still just a friendly (yet evil) British ambassador.

A quick Lionsault attempt hits knees so Regal flips Jericho over with a release German suplex. Jericho misses another charge and almost goes head first into the post, setting up a nice top rope butterfly superplex from Regal. These are some hard hitting shots and both guys are already looking banged up. The arm injury won’t let Jericho hook the Walls and Regal grabs a modified Regal Stretch (similar to the STF), sending Chris right to the ropes. Back up and Jericho rams Regal into the exposed buckle (the announcers don’t seem to notice), setting up the Lionsault for the pin to retain at 7:08.

Rating: B-. This was two guys who didn’t like each other beating each other up and the fans were loving every bit of it. Regal was much more of a character than a wrestler at this point but he could still get in there every now and then for a physical match like this where he did horrible things to someone’s limbs. Jericho was more than capable of working that style and we got a good match as a result.

Shane McMahon in his WCW limo arrives.

Bradshaw is worried about Tazz not being around for a six man tag and gives one heck of a speech about what this building and Wrestlemania mean. That’s enough for Faarooq and they’re ready to go.

Tazz/APA vs. Right to Censor

The Acolytes are now the Acolyte Protection Agency (“We need beer money!”). The Right To Censor (RTC, comprised of leader Steven Richards, Bull Buchanan, Goodfather (the gimmick change I mentioned from last year.) and Val Venis.) is a censorship group parodying the Parents Television Council who had given the WWF headaches for years over what they considered immoral programming. Richards and company didn’t like the fact that the APA drank beer and since they weren’t big enough to go after Austin, they went after Smackdown commentator Tazz instead.

Everyone brawls to start and Buchanan hits his top rope clothesline so Faarooq brings in Tazz. The numbers get Tazz in trouble too and he’s whipped so hard into the ropes that he falls face first onto them instead of turning properly. Goodfather scores with the Ho Train but misses a Vader Bomb, allowing Bradshaw to come in and clean house. Native Texas Bradshaw picks the RTC apart with Venis getting the worst of it with fall away slam and belly to back superplex. Goodfather misses another Ho Train and Bradshaw’s big clothesline is good for the pin at 3:53.

Rating: D+. Totally fine match here to fill in a little time. It’s nothing that couldn’t be done on Raw but they kept it quick and let a guy from Texas beat a team that the fans couldn’t stand. That’s how to keep a hot crowd even hotter and it worked very well here. Tazz never did much in the WWF and his best years were behind him but he was fine for a tough guy role like this.

There’s a special Wrestlemania magazine.

Trish (now the evil Vince’s mistress) wheels in a catatonic Linda (who Vince had put in a special home to prevent her from meddling while he had his affair) but runs into Stephanie (Vince’s little girl again who talks down to Trish like a slave). Stephanie says Linda must be happy that she had one child that came out ok. Trish is told to have plenty of champagne and strawberries to celebrate Vince’s victory with and Stephanie even throws in a tip on how to crack the ice properly. You can see that Trish isn’t going to take much more of this.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Raven is defending and Heyman’s advice is to run as fast as he can. Kane comes out first and Raven uses all the weapons he brought with him to little success. Big Show, in his tights that looked like a woman’s one piece swimsuit, comes out a few moments later. Kane isn’t one for tardiness so he throws Raven outside takes Show down with a top rope clothesline for two.

They’re quickly in the crowd and then backstage because there’s no point in trying to make this a regular match. Raven tries to attack Kane with a sign but gets thrown halfway through a wall. Show slams Kane onto some wooden pallets and chases Raven into a caged off storage area. A padlock doesn’t do any good as Kane catches up and rips the door off but Raven chokes him with a gardening hose.

Kane isn’t happy and breaks down part of the fence despite being a few feet from the door. He doesn’t have to be so destructive. As I say that, Kane throws Raven through a window. Show isn’t pleased with this destruction and knocks Kane through a door into a dressing room. They grab each other by the throat and fall into another little room where Raven shows up and hits Show with a card table. These people have no respect for private property.

Now it’s time for a golf cart chase (Which according to Raven was supposed to go all around the building in a Benny Hill style comedy bit. Instead they crashed the carts right before they hit some cables which could have taken the show off the air.) but Kane catches them and they fight through the Snapple table. They wind up on the stage with Show pressing Raven over his head, only to get kicked in the face by Kane, knocking both Show and Raven through part of the set. Kane isn’t done though as he dives into the hole with an elbow to pin Show for the title at 9:18.

Rating: C+. That’s probably a bit high but I had fun with this. They did some creative stuff and didn’t bother trying to make this anything it wasn’t. It’s an entertaining match and let the power guys do their stuff while Raven ran around getting in shots where he could. This is the only way to make the title fun more often than not and I had a good time here.

Kurt Angle is zoned in on Chris Benoit and freaks out friends Edge and Christian. It’s amazing to see Angle in his different modes and makes me appreciate his abilities even more.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York (a WWF themed night club/restaurant).

A fan from Australia is here. It’s kind of amazing how far people will go to see something they love.

The Rock has just arrived.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Eddie is challenging and has Saturn, in a big furry white hat, in his corner. There isn’t much of a story here. Eddie just started going after the title one day and attacked Test when he was guest refereeing one of the champ’s matches. Heyman tries to explain that Texas is part of Mexico and JR clearly doesn’t want to hear this. Test takes over with a quick layout powerbomb for two and Eddie bails to the floor. Back in and a good looking gorilla press sends Eddie face first into the buckle.

Heyman laments Saturn taking his hat off as Eddie can’t get a top rope hurricanrana. Test scores with a top rope back elbow to the jaw (Jericho used the same move earlier. It must be a Canadian thing) for two but he misses a big boot and gets his foot caught in the top rope. The match stops cold as it’s kind of hard for a 6’8 man to do much when his leg is caught and he’s hanging upside down.

Saturn and Guerrero try to get in a few shots to keep the match from falling apart even further. Eddie finally has to help the referee get Test’s leg free and thankfully JR points out that Eddie can’t win the title with Test in the ropes. What an embarrassing moment for Test, even if it wasn’t his fault. If nothing else Guerrero has a target on the ankle but he goes for a sleeper instead.

Test fights up again and grabs a tilt-a-whirl helicopter bomb but Saturn sneaks in for the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gradunza (it’s a fisherman’s neckbreaker). Test is up at two and gets in a pumphandle powerslam for the same. Saturn comes in again and takes a big boot to the air in front of his face but Malenko runs out for a distraction, allowing Eddie to hit Test with the belt for the pin and the title at 8:07.

Rating: D+. Again this was fine but that tieup in the ropes killed the momentum they had going. Test was little more than a midcard guy at this point but Eddie was getting more and more over every week. Unfortunately he was also getting more and more into substance abuse and would be gone by the end of the year for a long time.

Mick Foley promises that Vince firing him will have no bearing on him being special referee for Vince vs. Shane tonight. He’ll call it right down the line, and he’s going to do that right here in Houston, Texas! I love cheap pops.

Austin arrives nearly an hour into the show.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

This was literally thrown together on Raw six days before the show when both guys had nothing else to do. Angle says he isn’t a fan of Texas because its flag is missing 49 other stars. Oh and people here need to stop wearing the cowboy hats because they’re not seven years old anymore. Angle scores with two very quick takedowns to start but Benoit gets out of them with some incredibly fast counters to get us to a stalemate.

They hit the mat again and go for the legs but roll into the ropes for another break. The fans are all over Angle and he has to get to the ropes to escape a Crossface twice in a row. Back in and Benoit tries a third straight Crossface so Kurt punches him in the face for the first real advantage.

Kurt sends him hard into the steps and it’s time for the suplexes. Benoit tries some chops so Kurt calmly throws him flying with an overhead belly to belly. Some elbows to the face have better effect for Benoit and he goes back to a superplex for two. Now it’s time for Benoit to roll some Germans before he puts Angle in the ankle lock for a change. Angle reverses out of that into a Crossface on Benoit but Chris gets to the ropes.

The referee gets bumped because of course he does and Angle taps to the Crossface with no referee because of course he does. The Angle Slam gets two on Benoit but he gets his knees up to block the moonsault. Now it’s Benoit with the Swan Dive for two, meaning it’s time for a suplex. Angle counters with a low blow into a rollup and grabs the tights for the pin at 14:02.

Rating: A-. This is a pairing that never fails to work and somehow this is nowhere near their best match ever. Both guys looked awesome out there and the amateur stuff at the beginning is some of the best you’ll ever see. Benoit was one of the few people who could hang in there against Angle and he made Kurt look like he was really sweating. It’s a great story as well with Benoit matching him move for move until Angle had to cheat to win. Great stuff.

Regal goes into his office (sporting the awesome Wrestlemania X7 baseball jersey) and finds Kamala (a legend here for the gimmick battle royal later on) on his desk rubbing a picture of the Queen of England on his stomach. I really don’t think there’s anything I can add here.

Video on the WWF going to Fort Hood for a pep rally with the military. There was a parade with a cadence for Undertaker and the wrestlers all got plaques. Angle of course wanted a medal instead. This was cool stuff and something that would be amplified by the Tribute to the Troops show in a few years.

Angle says he proved that he’s the best when Benoit comes in and puts on the Crossface to make Kurt tap again.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory (also part of the RTC). Chyna injured her neck in a feud against the RTC, who hated the fact that she posed for Playboy. Chyna destroyed Ivory at the 2001 Royal Rumble but hurt her neck before she could win the Women’s Title. This is the rematch and Chyna has signed away her right to legal recourse if she hurts her neck again.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Chyna

Ivory is defending and Chyna has that fireworks gun again. An early belt shot puts Chyna down and Ivory (described as looking like Lilith Sternin-Crane by JR) hits some very weak forearms to the back. Chyna grabs a kick to the leg and throws Ivory away with ease. Some clotheslines set up a powerbomb but Chyna picks Ivory (further described as a yapping female dog by JR) up at two. Instead a gorilla press drop completes the squash and Chyna is champion at 2:39. This is the most logical way to go with this match as there was no way anyone was going to buy Ivory putting up a fight against Chyna here.

Trish assures Vince that she doubled Linda’s medication for tonight.

We recap Vince vs. Shane. Vince went on a power trip and Shane came back to take him out for cheating on Linda. This led to a street fight at Wrestlemania but Shane upped the ante by buying WCW out from under Vince six days before this show. This is a match with a very deep backstory and a bunch of stories are going to be intertwined.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Street fight. Mick Foley is guest referee due to a contract he signed back in December (when he as still Commissioner), allowing him to pick whichever match he wanted to at Wrestlemania. Shane says hi to some WCW wrestlers in a sky box, including Lance Storm, Stacy Keibler, Mark Jindrak and Hugh Morrus. This doesn’t exactly instill confidence in the future for the company if those are the representatives. Stephanie is with Vince but Trish and Linda aren’t here yet.

Vince hammers Shane down in the corner to start until a clothesline and some elbows get Shane out of trouble. Stephanie comes in to break it up and slaps Shane in the face. That’s it for her right now so Shane follows Vince outside and beats on him with a sign. A nice clothesline off the barricade drops Vince again and Shane follows up with some good looking kendo stick shots to the back.

Dancing punches drop Vince again and it’s time to load up the Spanish announcers’ table. A sick sounding monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly and Shane jumps to the top rope (literally). Shane tries a great looking flying elbow but Stephanie pulls Vince off the table, sending Shane through the table in a glorious crash. Cue Trish pushing Linda’s wheelchair down the aisle as we hit the second act.

Trish helps Vince up but slaps him to turn face, triggering a catfight with Stephanie. Unfortunately Trish has no idea what she’s doing yet so it’s your standard catfight until Foley pulls them apart. Stephanie slaps him too and it’s time for a chase up the aisle, with Stephanie doing her horrible acting on a fall (her arms were in the air to catch her balance before she even tripped), allowing Trish to get closer to her as they leave the arena. Back at ringside, Vince calls Linda a very bad name but Foley steps between them.

That earns Mick a chair shot to the back and now Vince can do what he wants. First he puts Linda in the corner in a regular chair before throwing Shane (who is still down from that crash) inside as well. Some trashcans to the head knock Shane even more out of it…..and Linda stands up, drawing one of the biggest reactions of the night. A kick between Vince’s legs draws an even bigger ovation.

Foley gets back in and pounds Vince down in the corner, allowing Shane to debut the Coast to Coast (A dropkick from one corner across the ring to another. Rob Van Dam calls it the Van Terminator but Shane didn’t even use a springboard. Again: that’s incredible athleticism.), driving a trashcan into Vince’s face for the pin at 14:12.

Rating: C+. This isn’t a great match but it’s some of the most intricate storytelling as you’ll ever see in WWE. There are an astounding five stories (Vince vs. Shane, Trish and Vince, Stephanie vs. Trish, Vince and Linda and Vince vs. Foley) all being paid off in one match. That just does not happen in wrestling and it’s even more impressive when you saw it all building over the previous months.

Yesterday at Axxess, the Hardys said the feud with the Dudleyz and Edge and Christian ends with TLC II.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is tables, ladders and chairs, meaning a ladder match with even more carnage. Just like last year there isn’t a big backstory other than they’ve been trading the titles for over a year (since February 27, 2000, only three other teams had held the titles for a combined 63 days) and this is the big final match.

Edge and Christian get thrown to the floor to start and the other teams slug it out in the ring. The Canadians come back in with the ladder to clean house and even tie Matt in the Tree of Woe to stand on his crotch. Jeff gets back up and dropkicks Edge off the ladder and the Hardys baseball slide another ladder into the Dudleys’ faces. The legdrop/splash combo crushes Christian and Edge takes a What’s Up from the Dudleys.

It’s table time but for some reason D-Von isn’t happy with one of the tables that was set up at ringside. Two tables are brought in with one being set up in the corner. Edge is laid on one of the tables and Jeff (who walks under a ladder to get back in) gets powerbombed through Edge in a big crash. Heyman tries to explain the history of the Dudley Construction Company and again JR is not amused. On the other hand, he is interested in Bubba and D-Von stacking up four tables in a two by two pile.

Back in and there are two ladders set up but Bubba grabs a third and BLASTS Matt in the head with it. That even made JR gasp. All six go up on the three ladders and it’s time for the falling. Christian and Matt go down first with Christian again doing the insane fall from the ladder to the floor with Matt being smart enough to land on the ropes. Jeff and D-Von hit the ropes as well while Bubba and Edge knock each other backwards. Christian, somehow without a broken hip, sets up another table on the floor.

Cue the Dudleys’ cousin Spike, a small guy who was taken out by Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno, with some Dudley Dogs (a run up the corner into a Diamond Cutter) for Edge and Christian with the latter going through the table at ringside). This brings out Rhyno, an explosive powerhouse, to clean house with the ladder and a bunch of Gores, including one to put Matt through a table in the corner.

Now it’s Lita (Matt’s girlfriend) to pull Edge off the ladder and take Rhyno out with a top rope hurricanrana. Spike hits Rhyno with a chair to knock him into the ladder and put Edge down again. Lita chairs Spike in the head and takes her shirt off, only to walk into 3D. Edge and Christian take the Dudleys out with chairs….and it’s time for the big ladder. There’s no way this is going to end well.

Rhyno and Spike are laid across tables in front of the big ladder and Jeff goes up for an insane Swanton (The same as last year. Notice that they got this out of the way quickly so we can get to this year’s even bigger spot.) through Rhyno and Spike (In theory at least as Rhyno is barely touched and Spike, who might weigh 140lbs, takes almost all of it. Rhyno’s table doesn’t even break).

The big ladder is brought into the ring and it’s D-Von and Christian climbing up, only to have Matt move the ladder, leaving the two of them hanging from the belts. That goes as well as you would expect and Jeff tries to tightrope walk across the top of some ladders but they topple over for the closest thing to a botch in this whole match. Jeff is left hanging from the belts trying to get his feet on a ladder as Edge climbs the big ladder.

Bubba pulls Jeff’s ladder away and lets him swing forward, right into the biggest spear of all time as Edge dives off the big ladder and hits Jeff in perfect stride. That’s the spot that made Edge a star and you still see it on highlight reels to this day. As soon as we look at the replays, Bubba and Matt climb the big ladder, only to have Rhyno shove it over, sending the two of them through the four tables in an even bigger crash. Back in and Rhyno puts Christian on his shoulders for the climb up and the titles at 15:41.

Rating: A+. Carnage, violence, destruction. Pick a few more words like that and you’ll get close to what we had here. This was one of the wildest matches you’ll ever see with all nine people taking bump after bump as they got bigger and bigger every time. This somehow topped last year’s triangle ladder match and the first TLC match, which both set what seemed to be unreachable bars. The last few moments of the match with the spear and the double stack of tables are as violent a stretch as this company has ever had, save for maybe Mankind vs. Undertaker in the Cell. Another must see match.

Axxess video.

The new attendance record is 67,925, meaning we get some more awesome wide shots of the crowd.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Greg Valentine, The Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kim Chee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Gobbledy Gooker, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

I think you get the idea here. Mean Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan come out to do commentary to make this even better. Heenan looks genuinely thrilled to be back. Droese is a wrestling garbageman, the Goon is a wrestling hockey player (a gimmick which was originally planned for Chris Jericho), Kim Chee is Kamala’s handler, Hayes is a legendary heel and the leader of the Freebirds, Gooker is a dancing humanoid turkey and Tugboat was Typhoon’s original character.

Everyone brawls to start and Repo and Gooker are out very soon. There go Tugboat and Earthquake, followed by Kamala eliminating his own man Kim Chee. Luke and Cornette follow them out and Droese is gone a few seconds later. Volkoff and the Goon go out at the same time. Butch is tossed as well. Doink gets eliminated and the fans are devastated. Hayes and the Gang go out off camera and Slaughter dumps Kamala to get us down to Love, Slaughter, Jim and Sheik. Slaughter dumps Love, Jim throws out Slaughter and Sheik, who can’t take a bump to the floor, eliminates Jim to win at 3:03.

Rating: A. The match was just an afterthought as the entrances were the real appeal here. This was nothing but a nostalgia match and they nailed it with a bunch of fun characters getting one last hurrah at Wrestlemania. You might have noticed the eliminations and I wasn’t skipping anything in between. Good stuff here and a really fun with the fans eating it up.

Slaughter gives Sheik the Cobra Clutch one last time.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH. This was set up really well with HHH saying he had beaten everyone there was to beat, drawing out Undertaker to simply say HHH had never beaten him. This led to a kind of lame restraining order story from Stephanie but Kane kidnapped her instead, forcing Regal to make Undertaker vs. HHH for Wrestlemania. HHH responded by wrecking one of Undertaker’s bikes, which is the last thing you wanted to do around this time. This is when HHH was near the peak of his awesome heel run, having beaten Austin 2/3 falls at No Way Out so Undertaker is probably the underdog coming in.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring in a really cool entrance. A wide shot of the arena shows how big the set really is as HHH is just a blip in front of the curtain. Undertaker might one up HHH’s entrance by gunning his motorcycle down the ramp, which is actually long enough to get some speed going. A quick Undertaker pose is the extent of the preliminaries and the slugout is on outside. Undertaker throws him through the makeshift Spanish announcers’ table and we get the opening bell.

HHH loses a slugout and gets powerslammed but he breaks up Old School. I’m not sure what tipped him off: Undertaker standing on top and looking at the crowd or shouting OLD SCHOOL before he went up top. A neckbreaker gets three straight near falls on Undertaker and HHH shoves the referee to no avail. It’s already time for the sledgehammer but the referee takes it away.

The Pedigree is countered with a catapult but it takes out the referee. There’s the chokeslam for two and Undertaker isn’t happy so he lays out the referee again. With no one to stop them (like many people could), it’s time to go into the crowd. They brawl to the technical area with Undertaker knocking him around the production tower.

HHH finds a chair and destroys Undertaker but he takes too long with a big swing, allowing Undertaker to grab him by the throat for a terrifying chokeslam off the tower. The visual is kind of ruined as we see HHH laying on a big pad but it looked great until then. Undertaker makes up for it by dropping an elbow off the tower and beats up the EMTs who dare try to help HHH.

They go back to the ring where the referee hasn’t moved after nearly eight minutes. It’s sledgehammer time again but HHH saves himself with a low blow. They slug it out some more and Undertaker grabs a Tombstone but the referee is STILL down. It’s been ten minutes now man. I know Undertaker is tough but it was just a forearm to the head and an elbow drop.

The Last Ride (an elevated powerbomb) is loaded up but HHH grabs the sledgehammer and blasts Undertaker in the head for a VERY close two. That was one heck of a near fall. Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner, only to have Undertaker come out with the Last Ride for the pin at 18:17.

Rating: A. Another great brawl here with both guys beating the tar out of each other for nearly twenty minutes. The referee being out cold that long was a stretch (and no medical assistance was a bit ridiculous) but it let the match make more sense. This was when HHH could do no wrong and Undertaker always makes it work at Wrestlemania. Really good stuff here and a forgotten classic.

Of note: JR says Undertaker is 9-0 at Wrestlemania. This is the match that really made the Streak a thing for the first time.

A fan won a contest to get tickets to the show.

Rock and Austin are ready.

We recap Austin vs. The Rock. I’ll leave out the pretty worthless part of Vince making Austin’s wife Debra manage the Rock and thankfully it was only mentioned in passing on the show. Rock became the biggest star in the company in Austin’s absence but Austin came back and won the Rumble to set this up. As JR put it at No Way Out: “60,000 in the Astrodome to see the Rock and Stone Cold!” Heyman sums it up very well too with “It’s the match that both men need to win but neither man can afford to lose.” The video is set to Limp Bizkit’s My Way and is on a very short list for best hype video of all time.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Rock is defending and this is made a No DQ match just before the entrances. JR: “WHAT?” Austin’s pop is one of the all time greats as he’s a folk hero in Texas. Rock’s reaction is VERY mixed but he does have some loud cheers. They waste no time and slug it out with Austin scoring with the Thesz Press. Neither guy can hit their finisher early and it’s on the floor less than two minutes in.

Both guys go into the announcers’ table but Austin takes over with a clothesline. A superplex gets two on Rock and it’s time to remove a turnbuckle pad. Rock’s comeback isn’t very well received and they head outside again with Austin nailing him with the bell (after sneaking in a sip of water). There’s a trickle of blood on Rock’s head so Austin goes after the cut with everything he has. Now we’ve got some good blood flowing and Austin grabs a swinging neckbreaker (popular move tonight) for two.

Austin stomps away in the corner but stops to yell at the referee, allowing Rock to explode with a clothesline, drawing more boos than he’s received in years. Rock sends him into the exposed buckle to draw blood as well, followed by a bell shot to make it even worse. Back to the floor and Austin catapults Rock face first into the post (great looking bump) before hitting him right in the hand (called the head but whatever) with a monitor.

Austin can’t get the Stunner (great pop for the double middle fingers though) and it’s time for Rock’s bad looking Sharpshooter. That brings Rock’s fans back to life and the match feels a lot more normal. Austin crawls to the ropes with the blood flowing down his face in a nice callback to Wrestlemania XIII. Now it’s Austin grabbing an even worse Sharpshooter and the fans aren’t happy when Rock makes the rope.

There’s the Million Dollar Dream for another flashback but Rock climbs the ropes and kicks back into a cover (the way Bret beat Austin at Survivor Series 1996 for two. Back up and Rock grabs a Stunner of his own for a delayed two. Cue Vince McMahon of all people as Austin wins a slugout but charges into a spinebuster. The People’s Elbow gets two with Vince breaking up the pin. The fans aren’t sure of this and Rock chases Vince around, only to walk into a Rock Bottom for two.

Vince looks very disappointed and Austin throws the referee out. He tells Vince to get a chair so Vince knocks Rock out for two with McMahon throwing the referee back in. A quick Rock Bottom puts Austin down but Rock pulls Vince in for interfering. The distraction lets another Stunner connect for a very hot near fall. With nothing else working, Austin erupts on Rock with the chair, hitting him an insane sixteen times. Rock’s carcass is covered for the pin at 28:05 and the fans explode with cheering.

Rating: A+. This is the main event style done almost as well as it’s ever been done. It’s a great stadium style main event with both guys knowing how to keep the crowd on their side the whole way through. Austin winning here made sense as there isn’t really anywhere Rock can go if he retains the title here. Also he was heading off to make Scorpion King so the result wasn’t the biggest surprise in the world.

What was a big surprise was Vince and Austin uniting, which is also a very questionable decision. Austin was still red hot and certainly could have carried the company as the lead star but this took the Austin train off the tracks (outside of Texas of course, where Austin could do no wrong). Vince and Austin coming together signaled the end of an era and a bold move, but it was part of a string of decisions that helped bring the company down from its peak and sent it into a tailspin for a few years.

The best option probably would have been to have Austin accept Vince’s help to take the title and then Stun him to end the show. This lets Austin stay on top and rekindle his feud with Vince until something new can be found. Rock leaving took away any reason for him to keep the title so Austin had to win, but this wasn’t the best way for him to get the belt back.

Austin shakes Vince’s hand and they share a beer, officially ending the Attitude Era as JR is beside himself. Rock gets hit in the face with the belt to knock him out one more time before Vince and Austin leave together to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. I’m really not sure what else I need to say here. A show is considered good if it has one classic and this has an unheard of four. The fifth best match is above average and the worst match on the card is probably Eddie vs. Test, which is totally watchable. The wrestling here is amazing but it’s the crowd that really carries it higher. The fans were all over everything here and are some of the loudest people you’ll ever hear at a wrestling show. All in all, this is as close to perfect a wrestling show as you’re going to find and holds up incredibly well to this day.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A++

2015 Redo: A+

As I said a few years back: Yep it holds up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

And the 2013 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/26/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-the-greatest-show-of-all-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

In addition to the four way title match, there are two other multi-man matches of note. First, Kurt Angle will be defending his Intercontinental and European Titles in back to back triple threat matches (considered one match with two falls) against Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. Other than that, the tag division is getting a big boost with the Hardy Boyz, the Dudley Boyz (also recent arrivals) and Edge and Christian in the first ever triangle ladder match for the Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

One last note: this show marks the return to the 3+ hour shows after years of under three hours.

Lillian Garcia sings the heck out of the National Anthem, as she always does.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania for a few moments before jumping into the four way main event. They make sure to mention the McMahon in every corner and how it’s all about the four of them. This was a major problem with the match which we’ll get to later but it’s certainly true.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Godfather is now a full on pimp and Brown is his partner in good guy crime. Buchanan is an athletic big man and Boss Man’s protege who never went beyond the low midcard. Ice T raps Brown and Godfather to the ring with a song called Pimp or Die. Of note: one of the Godfather’s women clearly falls down as she reaches ringside with the camera catching her going down. Godfather gives his usual speech about pimping nationwide and tells us to light up our blunts and say pimpin ain’t easy. This was quite the different time as you might be able to tell.

Brown and Buchanan get things going with D’Lo kicking him in the face and Godfather clotheslining an invading Boss Man. Godfather, in his shiny silver top, comes in for the spinning legdrop. A hook kick puts Boss Man down for two before it’s back to Buchanan and Brown with Bull doing his awesome run up the corner into a spinning top rope clothesline. Unfortunately that’s about the extent of his good moves so it’s back to Boss Man for two off an uppercut.

Lawler continues to oogle the lady in red as Brown keeps taking his beating. A cross body goes badly for D’Lo and JR compares it to a fair catch in the XFL. JR: “Which won’t exist.” Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Buchanan and Brown brings him down with a top rope hurricanrana. The hot tag brings in Godfather for some house cleaning and everything breaks down, allowing Boss Man to hit his namesake slam, followed by a guillotine legdrop (and a good one) from Buchanan for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D. Buchanan’s stuff looked good but who thought it was a good idea to have the heels, especially these heels, win the opening match? The length didn’t help this either. Godfather was starting to outlive his usefulness as an opening act at this point, partially due to the Parents Television Council complaining about the adult nature of the character. This would lead to a major change of pace for Godfather, which we’ll get to later on.

HHH and Women’s Champion Stephanie are loving life in the back.

Earlier today, the referees held a conference with all the participants in the hardcore battle royal. The title had been defended 24/7 with title matches taking place at any given time and in any given place. For tonight though, the rule is only enforced for the fifteen minute time limit. After that time comes to an end, the last person to pin the champion leaves with the title.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash (Hardcore’s cousin) is defending coming in, meaning he has to be pinned or made to submit for the title to change hands in the first place. Tazz is still the Human Suplex Machine here a fierce guy despite his smaller stature. Funaki is Taka’s partner in Kai En Tai. It’s a big brawl to start with only Tazz and Crash staying in the ring. A suplex makes Tazz champion in 24 seconds, and yes these title reigns are all official. Viscera rams Tazz into the post and slams him down for the pin at 1:00.

The Mean Street Posse gets together for some weapon shots to Viscera to almost no avail. Crash is already busted open. The Acolytes beat Viscera up instead and everyone else beats on each other. Funaki hits Mosh with a box fan and Bradshaw cleans house with a cookie sheet. Some people finally start going after Viscera but he easily kicks out. We’re under ten minutes now and Pete Gas is bleeding too.

Viscera holds court in the ring with the cookie sheets but goes up top for no logical reason. The Acolytes destroy Kai En Tai with Taka taking a wicked powerbomb before going over to slam Viscera down. Some 2×4 shots to the back and a top rope shoulder from Bradshaw allows them to throw Kai En Tai on top, giving Funaki the pin at 7:51. Taka immediately goes after his partner but Funaki is suddenly the smartest man in the match as he runs away. The Posse catches up to him though and Rodney throws him against a wall for the pin and the title at 8:11 in his only televised pinfall.

Joey runs in with a gutwrench suplex for the pin and the title at 8:24. Thrasher clotheslines Joey for the title at 8:46. Thrasher tries to run away but gets attacked by a bunch of people with a weapon each. Somehow he survives though, only to get sprayed with a fire extinguisher by Pete Gas for the pin and the title at 9:29. That would be Pete’s second and final pin on TV.

With just under five minutes left, Tazz grabs a suplex for the pin at 10:17. Hardcore immediately sends him into the steps for two but Mosh decks Hardcore from behind. Probably out of instinct, Tazz covers Mosh for two. Tazz fights both Holly cousins inside as Bradshaw beats up the Posse out of pure principle. We have two minutes left and the cousins start trying to pin Tazz and Hardcore’s dropkick gets two. Crash hits Tazz in the head with a cookie sheet for the pin and the title at 14:20 but Tazz is right up with the Tazmission (his signature choke).

Hardcore comes back in with a candy jar to bust over Tazz’s head (and getting a piece of glass in his eye, though Tazz was fine.) and covers Crash but the ending is screwed up. Hardcore was supposed to have him beaten as the time expired but he came in early, meaning the referee has to stop the count for no good reason. Not that it matters as Hardcore is declared the new champion at 15:00 to end the match.

Rating: D+. Well that certainly happened. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out as you can only get into people hitting each other with the same weapons for so long (a lesson they would take two years to learn). The rapid fire title changes and stuff like the Posse trading the title was fine but this started dragging in the middle. Crash would get the title back the next night to fix the error at the end.

Long Axxess video.

Al Snow is in a bathroom and talking to someone we can’t see. His partner Steve Blackman comes in to say play it serious tonight. They comprise the team of Head Cheese because Snow has Head and…..well what else would you call them?

Head Cheese vs. T&A

T&A are Test and Albert (a big bald power guy) with the recently debuted Trish Stratus (when she was in even better shape than when she was in her peak years) as their manager. Snow brings out the man from the bathroom: the team’s new mascot Chester McCheeserton, a guy in a cheese costume. The audio starts crackling and JR’s microphone goes out for a bit (Lawler is very happy) as Blackman kicks Test in the face to start.

Snow comes in and gets double teamed until it’s off to Blackman to trade shoulders with Albert. Everything breaks down for a bit as the fans are just quiet here. You can see a lot of empty seats where people are getting popcorn during this match and I can’t blame them. Albert gets in trouble as the cheese goes after Trish who rightfully ignores him. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Lawler calls the cheese Chester the Molester. A butterfly suplex finally gets Albert out of trouble and it’s off to Test for two off a side slam.

Albert comes back in for a big double powerbomb on Al as JR is using his code (“These styles are clashing” and “It’s bowling shoe ugly”) to say this match is horrible. Snow drops a middle rope leg on Test but Albert saves to keep this mess going. The Baldo Bomb (chokebomb) puts Snow on the floor and Albert gorilla presses Blackman, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: F. This match is in the running for the worst match in Wrestlemania history. The joke before the match was terrible, the match was AWFUL, the story was non-existent and the silence from the fans who stayed in the arena was eerie. Other than Trish, I saw nothing good about this and no redeeming value. It’s a total failure all around.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester in a really mean and out of character attack. The team didn’t go anywhere or last long in case you weren’t sure.

We get the comedy spot of the show with female wrestler the Kat sans clothing in her dressing room but her veteran manager Mae Young keeps putting various things in front of various parts of Kat. I’m sure you get the joke.

D-Von Dudley thinks this ladder match is another way for the WWF to hold the Dudleyz down. Bubba, still with a thick southern accent, promises to take Wrestlemania and the ladder match to a new level of violence. His stutter kicks in right before he can drop an F bomb.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

These three teams have been feuding with each other for months. Edge and Christian and the Hardyz had a great ladder match last year so why not add the Dudleyz (defending here) and make it a three way ladder match? Officially this is a triangle ladder match but it’s really just Tables, Ladders and Chairs (TLC) before the TLC match was named.

Everyone brawls to start and it’s going to be almost impossible to keep track of everything going on. Jeff takes Bubba out with the Whisper in the Wind but gets caught in the Bubba Bomb. Christian brings in the first ladder but Matt makes the save. All six get inside and a second ladder is loaded up.

Instead of climbing though, both challenging teams put a ladder over a Dudley in the corners, only to have the Hardyz take out Edge and Christian. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but Bubba avoids the 450 for the first big crash. Bubba one ups Jeff by putting the ladder onto Jeff and hitting his middle rope backsplash with his own head crashing into the ladder.

Christian puts a ladder on Matt so Edge can ride another ladder down to crush Matt. With everyone else down, Bubba puts a ladder around his own head and spins around to blast everyone not named D-Von in the face. Edge and Christian dropkick the ladder to take over though before nailing D-Von as well. Christian dives off a ladder to take out Matt and Bubba, leaving Edge to spear Jeff off a ladder.

Now it’s D-Von going up so Christian just throws a ladder at him for the save. A HUGE Bubba Cutter brings Christian down and now the fans are understanding what they’re in for with this one. The Hardys’ legdrop/splash combo from the ladders brings the people to their feet again as the match starts to slow down a bit due to all of the crashing.

A double superplex off the ladder brings D-Von down, leaving Edge and Christian and the Hardys to climb two ladders, only to knock each other off for some huge crashes. There’s not much else you can do here aside from just listing spots as it’s one big move after another. Now all six go up on three ladders with Jeff and Christian falling all the way down to the floor (with NOTHING to catch them). Bubba goes down as well and ever the spoiled sport, he shoves the other two ladders and all three other guys down against the ropes.

The Dudleyz are left alone so they pick up the ladders and crush Christian, who somehow can still walk. 3D takes Edge down (thankfully not onto a ladder) and now it’s table time. Why the Dudleyz need those isn’t clear but why let common sense get in the way of your gimmick. To crank things up though, the Dudleyz put a table on top of two ladders like a scaffold. Another pair of tables is set under the scaffold but D-Von’s headbutt misses Jeff and only hits table.

Bubba keeps his team’s fortunes up by powerbombing Matt off the announcers’ table and through another ladder at ringside. Jeff gets up and tries to run across the barricade as is his custom but Bubba pelts a ladder at him. There’s something to cringe worthy about someone flying through the air and crashing into a big piece of metal.

Now we start the tradition of the huge ladder, which is set up on the floor and is almost as high as the ones in the ring. Jeff is laid out in front of it but Christian hits Bubba in the head with the bell, allowing Jeff to go for a climb. With nothing to lose (save for most of the bones in his spine), Jeff Swantons off the ladder for one of the biggest crashes ever up to this point. The wide shot makes it look even better and the fans are rightfully stunned.

Back in the ring, Christian and Matt climb onto the scaffold but Edge shoves Matt off and through the last table in the ring. The table almost explodes as Matt crashes through it and the fans are fired up all over again as Edge and Christian pull down the titles for their first championship at 22:25.

Rating: A-. This was a different kind of match than these three teams would have later on as they were just going from spot to spot here without the flow that they would have. However, this is still an amazing spectacle that got the fans into things once they gave it a chance to get going. This was ALL about going higher and higher with each step, but they didn’t know how high they could go yet. Later the matches would be about seeing how high they could take it and the results would be pure carnage. Here it’s more about fitting stuff in but it’s still an awesome match.

Mick Foley (not Mankind or Cactus Jack) is with Linda and says that this is the biggest match on the biggest show of the year so it’s the biggest match of his life. Fairy tales can come true and it could happen to HHH, Rock and Big Show, BUT IT WON’T because it’s happening to him.

JR and Lawler rave about the ladder match.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

This is billed as a catfight and is more about the managers (Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young respectfully) than the wrestlers. Val Venis is the referee (sporting a referee towel instead of shirt) and you win by throwing your opponent to the floor, making it a two man battle royal. They’re not even trying to hide the fact that this is just a cool down match after the previous war. These two don’t really have a reason for fighting other than being catty with each other.

Before the match, Venis does one of his signature innuendo laden promo, talking about how he and Wrestlemania are both extravaganzas that get your blood pumping, but Wrestlemania only comes once a year. Both women are in see thru bodysuits with bikinis underneath. Kat’s is made of fishnet, thereby making her Lawler’s favorite.

They brawl to start until Val breaks it up, only to have both of them kiss him. Kat spears her down but Mae gets on the apron to try to flash Val. Terri is thrown to the floor but the referee doesn’t see it, meaning it’s time for Mae to kiss Val as well. Both girls actually in the match fall outside but Moolah throws Terri back inside for the win at 2:26. Total mess of course, but at least they didn’t try to hide what they were doing here.

Mae gives Moolah a Bronco Buster post match and Kat strips Terri.

Wrestlemania XVII will be in Houston.

The Radicalz (minus Chris Benoit) are ready for the six person tag but Eddie is too busy checking his hair to impress Chyna.

Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty, formerly Too Much) and Chyna are ready too.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

It’s Guerrero/Malenko/Saturn here. Eddie has been hitting on Chyna lately so she got some help and it’s time for a tag match. Too Cool has gone from jokes to a nice surprise as a midcard act due to getting over and the company giving them a chance. That is almost blasphemy today. Chyna has her fireworks bazooka which was actually pretty cool.

Eddie and Scotty get things going as the fans are all over Guerrero, likely due to him knocking off Scotty’s hat. It’s quickly off to Chyna, sending Eddie crawling over on his knees to grab Malenko’s legs. JR says Chyna looks hot, which is very outside of his standard character. A double suplex puts Dean down and it’s time for Chyna to dance. Now it’s Grandmaster suplexing Eddie down but Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop).

Saturn goes even more evil by stealing Grandmaster’s bandana, which just makes Grandmaster look stupid. Scotty comes in and is quickly hot shotted to keep the Radicalz in control. The fans only care about Eddie and Chyna here and Guerrero soaks it all up like the master he was. Grandmaster’s interference only works for a bit and Scotty busts out a double Worm, followed by Saturn kicking him in the face.

Saturn (barely) hits a top rope elbow but Eddie gets superplexed, finally allowing the hot tag to Chyna. House is quickly cleaned and a double low blow gets rid of Saturn and Malenko. Chyna is barely able to powerbomb Eddie so she grabs him between the legs and gorilla presses him while trying to keep the side of her tights from splitting any further. A quick sleeper drop puts Eddie away at 9:39.

Rating: C-. Watchable but mostly average match with the fans only caring about Eddie vs. Chyna, which was quite the hot story around this time. Things would pick up even more the next night as Chyna suddenly fell for the Latino Heat and hooked up with Eddie for months. This was an acceptable use of ten minutes, if nothing else as a way to advance the Eddie vs. Chyna story.

Some fans won a trip to Wrestlemania.

Shane and Big Show say they’ll win and that it’s Game Over.

Earlier tonight, Kurt Angle beat up Bob Backlund for suggesting that he defend both titles. This goes nowhere.

Angle asks for some extra security for his victory celebration and offers the guard autographs if he does it. Smug Angle was pure gold and one of the most genuinely hilarious characters the company has ever had. He was such a goofy dork but he sold the whole thing as well as anyone could have done. The in ring abilities made it even better but the character made Angle greater than anything he did in a match.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is a two fall match with Angle defending the Intercontinental Title first and the European Title second. The three of them have been feuding for months with Angle taking the Intercontinental Title from Jericho last month at No Way Out 2000. Before the match, Jericho says he can’t guarantee that he’ll walk out a champion but he can guarantee that Benoit and Angle will have bumps and bruises from a Y2J beating that they will never EVER forget again. So they’ll forget it at least once?

Angle gets chopped down to start as Lawler calls Backlund an idiot for setting this up. Jericho’s springboard dropkick is broken up by Benoit so Jericho dropkicks them both outside at the same time. Angle gets in his first offense with a flapjack to send Jericho into the steps. Back in and Benoit trades suplexes with Angle as Lawler channels Bobby Heenan by praising Angle for everything.

Jericho goes up again and Benoit shoves him down again, making me think that Jericho needs to adjust his strategy. He tries ANOTHER dropkick from the ropes, this time getting two on Angle as Benoit makes the save. A camel clutch on Benoit doesn’t get Jericho anywhere so he goes back to Angle, only to get caught in the crossface chickenwing. Jericho starts to fade but Benoit comes back in and throws Angle to the floor. A quick Swan Dive is good for the pin on Jericho, giving Benoit the Intercontinental Title at 7:56.

Angle is all ticked off and starts erupting with suplexes to Benoit, only to have Jericho break up the moonsault. Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho down and rolls away from a great looking moonsault to leave all three guys down. Back up and it’s Jericho taking over with a forearm and spinwheel kick, followed by the double powerbomb (one powerbomb after another without breaking his grip) to Angle.

Benoit is right back in with the rolling Germans for two on Jericho. Angle takes a German of his own and the referee counts even though Kurt’s shoulder is WAY off the mat. What a patriot. Benoit makes Jericho tap to the Crossface but the ref got bumped. Serves him right for trying to cheat an American hero. Just like everyone else, Benoit lets go of the hold instead of doing as much damage to Jericho as possible. Angle avoids another Swan Dive but Jericho is right back up with a Lionsault for the pin on Benoit and the European Title at 13:48 total.

Rating: B. This is quite the concept and there’s no way any combination of these three can go wrong. It’s also a very efficient way to get both titles off Angle without having him, the hottest prospect of them all, get pinned or have to tap out. Also well done on not having the standard triple threat formula and just letting everyone fight at the same time with the guys being down for logical reasons instead of the script calling for it. Good match, good idea, very good execution. What more can you ask for?

Vince says that Rock is very confident that Rock will win tonight. Rock however isn’t there with him. Vince guarantees to make it right tonight. You can see the swerve coming from here.

HHH promises Stephanie that he won’t allow himself to be beaten tonight.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Rikishi/Kane

Rikishi is finally in his most famous gimmick and near his highest popularity. Kane has the always awesome inverted color scheme for his attire and Paul Bearer in his corner. X-Pac and Road Dogg, the once again heel DX, have Tori (now a hot valet) with them. Tori left Kane for X-Pac and this is the result with the many showdowns coming later. Kane goes after Tori to start and Road Dogg gets an early Stink Face.

Tori has to be saved from the same fate and DX’s attempt to leave fails. We settle down and X-Pac gets in a Bronco Buster on Rikishi before it’s off to Road Dogg for the dancing punches. Rikishi shrugs them off and brings in Kane for the big monster offense, but Kane goes after Tori instead. The Stink Face works this time and Kane Tombstones X-Pac for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D. The match was bad but there’s another reason this is happening which we’ll get to in a few seconds. Rikishi was helping fight DX so he fit in here, but this was little more than filler. Kane’s attire and Tori as a good blonde there to look good and make you hate X-Pac even more worked fine.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to dance. Kane doesn’t buy it but the Chicken dances a lot better than you would expect from Rose. After they’re done, Kane goes after the Chicken but Pete Rose runs in with the ball bat, only to get chokeslammed, followed by a Stink Face to end this saga once and for all. Well until Rose showed up on Raw about ten years later. Rose certainly did whatever he needed to do and turned this one idea into an awesome three year running joke.

Rock talks about going through everything in the last year to get back to Wrestlemania to reclaim his title. All the chokeslams, all the Mandible Claws and all the Pedigrees are worth it because he has one more shot to become champion. This is the intense Rock and it works almost as well as the funny version. He skips the eyebrow though.

Martin Short, Michael Clarke Duncan and French Stewart are here.

Again no official recap, but HHH retired Foley, Rock won the Rumble and Show proved that he really won the Rumble.

WWF World Title: Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. The Rock vs. HHH

Elimination rules and No DQ. HHH is defending and we’ve got a rare occurrence of all four McMahons in one place. Rock and Vince come out together here for their first appearance together tonight. Show and Rock pair off while Foley pounds the champ down in the corner with some fast punches. With Rock down in the corner, Show runs the other two over with a double clothesline. Show can’t pick which guy to beat up so Foley jumps on his back, giving us a repeat of last year’s spot with Show falling backwards to crush Foley’s ribs.

Mick is right back up to break up a chokeslam to HHH (why would he do that?) and it’s a triple team on Big Show. Three straight clotheslines put the giant down but HHH just can’t work with Foley that long and a fight breaks out again. Show kicks Rock in the face but Foley hits Show in the back with a chair, knocking him into the Rock Bottom for the pin to get rid of the giant at 4:50. What a worthless addition Show was.

The three remaining guys all stare at each other and it’s HHH trying to strike a deal with both of them. Rock actually goes for it before nailing HHH from behind and the double teaming is on. They all head outside where Rock accidentally hits Foley with the bell, making Lawler even happier than in the women’s match earlier. Rock isn’t as strong as you would think though as Foley is up just a few seconds later….and he has a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. HHH low blows him to take it away though and hits Foley in the ribs but AGAIN Foley doesn’t seem in that much trouble.

This time it’s the Mandible Claw on HHH, who turns into a belt shot from Rock. The People’s Elbow is broken up by a Mandible Claw to Rock but the champ low blows them both to put all three down. Foley’s double arm DDT gets two on Rock and Rock’s single arm version gets the same with HHH making the save for some reason. Mick and HHH actually work together on Rock with Foley’s knee lift getting two (No save from HHH, making Rock look more like a threat than Foley, who HHH believes he can beat. That’s a nice touch.).

The double teaming continues on the floor but Rock whips Mick knees first into the steps. Foley pops up for the third time though and nails Rock with the steps. HHH loads up the Spanish announcers’ table and has Foley go to the middle rope for the elbow….which is left about three feet short, sending him ribs first into the table in a very sad sight. HHH has to drop about three elbows to put Rock through the table before taking Foley inside for the Pedigree……for two? JR: “HE DID IT!” A BIG chair to the head sets up the second Pedigree (with Foley collapsing) for the pin at 19:40, sending Foley into retirement for four years.

Foley takes one last bow but comes back to the ring for one good barbed wire 2×4 shot to HHH’s head (busting him open) to go out on. Somehow that’s only good for two for Rock so let’s go outside again. Rock beats him up in front of the Titantron and takes it back to ringside. HHH swings a chair to knock the steps into Rock’s face, followed by a piledriver onto the steps. This is the main event of Wrestlemania though so it’s finishers or rollups only, meaning Rock kicks out at two again.

The Pedigree is broken up and they go into the crowd for more time killing brawling. Back to ringside again with Rock suplexing the champ through the announcers’ table and it’s time for more waiting. HHH is up first but Vince sends him into the post, only to have Shane (why is he still here?) hit his dad from behind. Well you knew this was coming. A big monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly but he’s up after a ridiculous TWENTY THREE SECONDS. Vince just got hit in the head with a monitor and he’s up and going after Shane in less than thirty seconds. Who is this match supposed to showcase again?

Shane opts for a chair shot to the head and this time Vince stays down, even shedding some blood. We FINALLY go back to the match with Rock DDTing HHH, drawing Stephanie’s ridiculous looking bug eyes. The barbed wire board to Rock’s head stuns him but he’s still able to catapult HHH into Shane. HHH walks into the Rock Bottom but here’s Vince to punch Shane….and then hit Rock with a chair because SWERVE! Rock kicks out at two so Vince hits him in the head with the chair again, giving HHH the pin to retain at 36:31. That’s the first time a heel has left Wrestlemania as champion.

Rating: C+. Oh man this is a rough one. Above all else, the McMahons. They started off as background noise but by the end they were the only things that mattered here as it turned into yet another Vince/Shane/Stephanie drama, which had been the big story for the last year in one form or another. They pretty much gave away the Vince turn earlier and that doesn’t help an already bad idea.

That leaves us with the match itself, which really isn’t very good. The problem here is that they clearly spend so much time laying around and filling in time because the match goes longer than it should. Now that being said, it’s still Rock vs. HHH for eighteen minutes after Rock vs. HHH vs. Foley for about fifteen minutes so the action is at least watchable. The problem is there’s not enough action or excitement.

There were barely any near falls or moments of drama once it got down to one on one. You have the cover after Foley left (not happening), the piledriver on the steps (maybe) and the first chair shot from Vince (good near fall). You really need more than that in a long match, especially with all this other drama that really adds nothing on the outside. What you have instead is a lot of brawling, a lot of selling (fine, but not when it’s selling on the floor with no drama) and a lot of being on the floor or in the crowd. The action was good but it was bogged down by too much other stuff.

So how do you fix it? You have Rock vs. HHH instead of the four way. I understand the idea here but it’s not the kind of match to end Wrestlemania. If you want to do the four way, do it at Backlash where the pressure is gone and go with the big title win here. Foley not being around would have been a loss, but the match would have been better overall, unless you don’t have Rock in the main event here, which would mean changing the booking months before Wrestlemania. The four way was unique but it really didn’t work in this spot, at least not like it needed to do.

Vince and Stephanie reunite but Vince yells at Shane. Rock comes back in to lay out all three of them with Rock Bottoms and a People’s Elbow to Stephanie (to be fair, she slapped him after he beat up Vince and Shane). Rock poses a lot to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s the biggest show of the year in the best year they ever had and I think they just collapsed under the weight. You had two really good matches to carry the show but the main event is more like a disappointing experiment. The rest ranges from bad to wasting time with some bizarre choices like the Head Cheese mess.

The strangest part here is what this led to, as Backlash later in the month would be the show of the year with all the fallout from Wrestlemania, including Rock beating HHH to win the World Title. There are FAR worse Wrestlemanias but this was really more like a commercial for the next few months. Check out the triple threat and the ladder match but just get to the next year’s show otherwise.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XV
Date: March 28, 1999
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 20,276
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Outside of the main event, we have the stable war (a Russo staple) between McMahon’s Corporation and the Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness. The big match in the feud here is a Hell in a Cell match between Undertaker and Big Boss Man which is going to be even worse than it sounds. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show will be replaced by Sunday Night Heat, the regular Sunday night show, for the next several years.

Sunday Night Heat: Ivory vs. Jacqueline

Ivory is a manager who could wrestle as well and Jacqueline is a member of the Pretty Mean Sisters. There’s no subtlety here: Ivory is wrestling in a bikini. Fellow PMS member Terri Runnels (formerly known as Marlena) sits in on commentary to rip on Ivory’s attire. Jacqueline jumps her to start but Ivory knocks her into the corner, only to have Jacqueline complain of a thumb to the eye. A belly to back suplex gives Jacqueline the pin out of nowhere at 1:24. That sounds like an injury stoppage.

Terri puts her cigar out in Ivory’s face post match.

Sunday Night Heat: Battle Royal

Bradshaw, Faarooq, Droz, Godfather, Steve Blackman, Brian Christopher, Scott Taylor, Test, Hawk, Animal, 8-Ball, Skull, Gillberg, D’Lo Brown, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Mideon, Tiger Ali Singh, Viscera, Rocco Rock, Johnny Grunge

Most of the names you might not recognize here aren’t important enough to identify. The idea here is that the final two men in the match will receive a Tag Team Title shot during the pay per view. That’s how bad the division is at this point: they can’t even have a regular team challenge for the belts, even when there are multiple regular teams in this match. Tag Team Champions Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett sit in on commentary.

Everyone goes after Rock and Grunge (a famous ECW tag team known as Public Enemy and therefore the crowd favorites) and put them out in about five seconds. A group of people get rid of Viscera (the giant formerly known as Mabel) but he pulls Gillberg out to make himself feel better. Animal, Skull and 8-Ball are put out and Hawk (with a full head of hair) goes out as well. Taylor is eliminated as Owen and Jarrett actually play some favorites for a change.

Singh eliminates Faarooq in a big upset, only to be thrown out a few seconds later. Both Hardys (they don’t mean much yet) follow him out and Mideon (formerly Phineas Godwinn, now part of the Ministry) is out a few seconds later. There goes Christopher and there’s nothing going on between these eliminations. Blackman and Bradshaw go out together, leaving us with Godfather, Droz, Test and Brown. Droz and Godfather go out together as well, leaving Test and Brown as the winners at 4:16.

Rating: F. A twenty one man battle royal that doesn’t even make four and a half minutes? Normally I would be thrilled but this was so fast paced that it was barely even a match. Test and Brown winning shows the booking style of Russo very well as they have no connection to each other and now they’re the #1 contenders to the Tag Team Titles on the biggest show of the year.

Boyz II Men sing America the Beautiful.

The opening video is narrated by the legendary Freddie Blassie and talks about how these men will be legends like the gods of ancient Greece and cause a variety of emotions but they’ll never let us forget them. Tonight is their night. Welcome to Wrestlemania: the showcase of the immortals. Outstanding.

The set is unique this year as it’s the Wrestlemania logo (the word Wrestle over the word Mania with XV behind it) and nothing else.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Billy Gunn

So here’s another brilliant Russo idea. For weeks leading up to this, Gunn’s partner Road Dogg had been in a three way feud for the Hardcore Title with Snow (a crazy man who happens to be a great technical wrestler) and Holly (formerly Bob). At the same time, Gunn was in a four way feud for the Intercontinental Title which we’ll get to later.

Then the decision was made to swap Dogg into the Intercontinental Title feud and Gunn into the Hardcore Title feud (with Gunn winning the title and defending here), thereby giving the champions no reason to feud with their challengers and taking away the logical payoffs. Welcome to Wrestlemania XV and it’s downhill from here.

It’s a brawl to start (as it should be in this match) and they all head to the floor. Snow sends Gunn knees first into the steps for a great flipping crash, leaving the real hardcore guys to fight up the aisle. Gunn is back up to stomp both guys down but Snow comes back with a hockey stick (fans: “LET’S GO FLYERS!”). They head inside again and Snow starts channeling Steve Blackman’s martial arts demonstrations by swinging around a piece of a broken broom.

Snow uses a chair as a launch pad to slam into Gunn, drawing an ECW chant in the process. Now it’s time for Snow to clean house with Head (a mannequin head that talked to him. Just go with it and move along.) and here’s a table in the corner. The champ gets back up and throws Al through the table (wrestling law #3: if you set up a table, you’re going through it.). The Fameasser takes Snow down again but Holly hits Billy in the back with a chair and steals the pin and the title at 7:07.

Rating: D. Just as I said: there’s no reason for this match to be happening and Gunn was out of his element. Dogg, Holly and Snow had built up a fun feud over the Hardcore Title with creative spots and weapons, but Gunn was just a guy hitting people with stuff and then doing his regular moves. It took away the logical payoff for the sake of surprise and that’s rarely a good thing with this match as an example.

Merchandise plug.

Tag Team Titles: D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

Brown (with Ivory, sporting a bandage from the cigar attack on Heat) and Test (part of the Corporation) are challenging of course. Debra has Lawler and Cole drooling in a bikini and sport coat. It’s a mess to start until Brown runs Jeff over a few times. Test and Owen are quickly in with Brown having to break up the Sharpshooter attempt.

That ticks Test off for some reason so D’Lo comes in, only to eat a spinwheel kick from Owen. Test: “OPEN YOUR EYES!” Brown comes back with a double clothesline and a short powerbomb (not quite the Low Down) for two on Jeff. Everything breaks down and the girls start fighting, allowing Owen to sneak in with a missile dropkick to pin Brown at 3:58.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t bad but again: what was the point? This is Wrestlemania, not some house show that no one is going to see. Brown and Test never had any major interactions after this, making this even more worthless. Owen and Jarrett were a decent enough team but they desperately needed opponents. Like say Mideon/Viscera, the Acolytes, the Hardy Boyz, Too Cool etc. As in the other teams in the battle royal but why do that when you can have a random team that makes no sense?

We recap Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn in a Brawl For All match. So back in 1998, the WWF lost its mind and decided to have a shoot toughman competition which was designed to be won by Dr. Death Steve Williams, a legitimate brawler and the Brock Lesnar of the 1980s. However, Bart Gunn shocked the world (or no one who knew his background as a toughman fighter but why pay attention to something like that) and won the thing.

That’s not what the company wanted though, so they put him on the shelf for a few months and gave us this as a payoff. Keep in mind that several competitors were injured during the tournament and missed significant time, including some people who never appeared for the company again. Butterbean is a legitimate professional boxer who weighs about 400lbs and this is a shoot fight. It’s billed as a Brawl For All which had an overly complicated points system but I don’t think it’s going to matter.

Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn

Professional boxer Vinny Pazienza is guest referee. Boxing trainer Kevin Rooney, former boxer Chuck Wepner (the inspiration for Rocky Balboa) and Gorilla Monsoon (very sick here and a few months away from death) are the guest judges. Butterbean caves Bart’s face in before Lawler can make his prediction but Bart gets up….only to take one of the best looking right hands to the face that you’ll ever see. Bart is out before he crashes onto the ropes and then the mat to end this at 37 seconds. Again: shoot match against a professional, making this the biggest waste of a potential payoff.

Since this took about two minutes all together, the San Diego Chicken (sports mascot) shows up to annoy Pazienza, who knocks him out with one punch.

Mankind and “The Big Show” Paul Wight brawled on Heat earlier tonight.

Mankind promises to beat up Big Show again.

Paul Wight vs. Mankind

The winner is guest referee in the main event and Mankind comes out in a white shirt with referee stripes spray painted on. There’s actually a backstory here as Show, a Corporation member, chokeslammed Mankind to cost him the WWF World Title last month. Mankind goes right after him to start and is quickly sent to the floor. That’s fine with Mankind though as he sends Big Show head first into the steps, only to be rammed into them a few seconds later.

Back in and it’s time for the giant to slowly hammer away but the Mandible Claw (with Mr. Socko) puts him in trouble. A low blow puts Show on his knees but the Claw can’t get him down. He even stands up and falls backwards onto Mankind, crushing his ribs in a sick looking landing. Show grabs some chairs to drive into Mankind’s ribs before setting them up in the middle of the ring. A big chokeslam puts Mankind through both chairs and that’s a DQ (FINALLY) at 6:48.

Rating: D. Again this felt like a lame Raw main event instead of what should have been a big Wrestlemania match. Also, you might expect a match with a former World Champion and a monster who had been involved in the World Title scene just a few weeks ago might break eight minutes but it really didn’t get close. Only in 1999, because no one else would think this was a smart idea.

Mankind is now guest referee so Vince comes out, for some reason on a very quiet wireless microphone. He yells at Show for screwing up the plan and almost gets chokeslammed. Always one to push his luck, Vince slaps him in the face and gets punched in the jaw. Again, this really does feel like a Raw segment. Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco (Vince’s goons) come out to carry Vince to the back as Mankind is stretchered out. Will he be able to referee tonight? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT, because they’re doing an angle that will be paid off in less than two hours.

Once in the back, Vince wants Show arrested for assault in ANOTHER angle on this show.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust vs. Val Venis

Here’s the other half of the midcard title swap. So Shamrock has a good looking sister named Ryan, who Billy Gunn hit on. That ticked Ken off so he beat Gunn up and feuded with him over Shamrock’s Intercontinental Title. Venis then won both Ryan and the title with Gunn acting as guest referee (another Russo trope) and counting the pin.

Then Venis dumped Ryan so she hooked up with Goldust. Road Dogg won the Intercontinental Title from Venis and took Billy’s place in the announced four way elimination title match at Wrestlemania. So Shamrock wants to beat up Venis and Goldust for going after his sister, Goldust wants the title, Venis has been fighting all of them and wants his title back and Road Dogg is defending. Oh and Goldust’s other lackey the Blue Meanie (comedy goof) is jealous of Goldust for giving Ryan so much attention. Got all that?

Shamrock whips Dogg around the ring to start but the champ dropkicks him in the face and tags in Goldust, who gets to face Venis. The announcers talk about the fake tournament for the first Intercontinental Title as Venis flips out of the Curtain Call (Goldust needs to find a new finisher already), only to get dropped again. Meanie yells at Ryan as Venis gets two off a top rope bulldog and a fisherman’s suplex.

Venis falls head first into a low blow but Dogg comes in with a DDT to Val for no apparent reason. It’s off to Dogg legally for the Shake Rattle and Roll (some dancing punches, not the neckbreaker) to Val. He celebrates a bit too much though and gets suplexed down for two. That earns Venis an ankle lock from Shamrock but Val holds on for a LONG time and eventually sends Shamrock outside.

Ryan yells at her brother until Venis goes outside for a brawl and a double countout. Ken comes back in and suplexes Dogg and Goldust to leave both guys laying. This gives me a chance to point out how stupid this is considering they have no issues, making this yet another bad decision. Back up and Ryan trips Goldust by mistake (allegedly, as Dogg was nowhere near Goldust), allowing Dogg to roll through a powerslam attempt for the pin to retain at 9:54.

Rating: D+. The match was ok enough but the stories are such a mess/non-existent that I spent most of the time trying to figure out if I liked this or not. The match wouldn’t have been much better if they hadn’t swapped the Outlaws but at least it would have made sense. Oh and to make it better: Goldust beat Dogg for the title the next night on Raw because that show is more important than this one.

Goldust rips into Ryan post match.

Big Show is arrested.

We recap HHH vs. Kane. Chyna had turned on the now good DX to hook up with Kane but Kane accidentally hit her with a fireball. HHH stood up for Chyna by dressing up like Goldust and using a freaking flamethrower to burn Kane, causing flashbacks to the fire that burned Kane as a child. You might think they’re overdoing it here, but this is tame compared to what’s coming.

HHH vs. Kane

Before the match, the San Diego Chicken attacks Kane. This goes badly, because it’s PETE ROSE again, who takes his second Tombstone in two years. HHH is smart enough to sneak in through the crowd to low blow Kane and we start fast. They did a good job of covering it up too as HHH’s pyro equipment was in the ring. That’s a nice little touch that you wouldn’t get today.

They head outside and Kane clotheslines the post by mistake, followed by a whip into the steps. Back in and Kane boots HHH in the face before throwing him out to the floor. Cole: “Like a sack of potatoes.” Lawler: “I don’t think you can throw a sack of potatoes that far.” So HHH is easier to throw than a sack of potatoes?

HHH’s back is rammed into the post a few times and Kane slows things down to his normal pace. A legdrop (called a foot across the sternum by Cole) looks to set up the top rope clothesline but HHH pulls him down out of desperation. The jumping knee to the face drops Kane (he’s softened up a lot in the last year) and here’s Chyna.

The Pedigree is countered and both guys are down so Chyna slides the stairs into the ring. Kane picks them up but HHH kicks them into his face and drop toeholds Kane face first into the steel. HHH can’t hit the Pedigree onto the steps and Kane plants him with the chokeslam. Chyna gets on the apron with a chair though….and hits Kane for the DQ to rejoin HHH at 11:33.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and probably the best the two of them have ever had, which isn’t the biggest bar to reach. It’s really weird to see Kane fall this far in just a year but at least the HHH and Chyna reunion was a cool moment. You would have expected some fire to be involved here but it’s very refreshing to just have a match instead.

HHH lays Kane out with the chair and a Pedigree post match before officially reuniting with Chyna to a big pop.

Vince says he’ll referee the main event.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Tori

Sable, now a heel after basically having gone Hollywood, is defending. Tori (not Torrie Wilson) was a crazed fan who wound up getting a title shot because this division was weaker than the tag teams. For reasons that aren’t clear, Tori is in a Giant Gonzalez style body suit, minus the fur at least. Sable won’t let her get in to start so Tori pulls her to the floor and sends the champ into the apron.

A cross body off the apron mostly misses as Lawler wants to see Sable’s grind dance. He gets his wish but Tori clotheslines her down and hits some of the worst forearms I’ve seen in years. Tori only mostly screws up a sunset flip out of the corner for two. The referee gets bumped which is probably much better than trying to have a regular match here. Cue a monster named Nicole Bass to lay out Tori with a gorilla press, followed by the Sable Bomb to retain the title at 5:01.

Rating: F. There’s no way around this one as neither of them had any business being in there and it showed badly. Sable turning heel was a horrible idea as she fell down the card and was gone in just a few months due to a lot of backstage issues. Tori found her calling as a valet who thankfully almost never wrestled and after this disaster I couldn’t be more thankful. Bass never did anything other than lame comedy.

Video on Shane McMahon with the Mean Street Posse (Shane’s goofy friends) talking about how tough Shane was growing up in Greenwich, Connecticut. This was actually funny.

DX says they’re reunited and X-Pac (formerly the 1-2-3 Kid) is getting the European Title back. Shane McMahon (Vince’s incredibly athletic son) started going after X-Pac and eventually stole the title from him in a tag match. This is the one on one rematch.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon

Shane is defending and has Test in his corner. Patterson and Brisco fail at attacking X-Pac during the entrances so Shane has to run. He celebrates over a leapfrog, earning him a kick to the face. Test saves Shane from the Bronco Buster and crotches X-Pac against the post as the Mean Street Posse watch from the front row. Back in and Shane hammers away but misses a Corporate Elbow.

Instead he whips X-Pac with a belt until a backdrop puts the champ on the floor. The Posse saves Shane but he gets crotched on the top rope, setting up a superplex for two. Shane distracts the referee in the corner so Test can take X-Pac’s head off with the European Title for a very close near fall. Now it’s Shane missing a Bronco Buster, drawing in Test for another save. Cue HHH and Chyna to even things up….before turning on X-Pac with a Pedigree, allowing Shane to retain at 8:43.

Rating: C-. This is a bit higher as Shane isn’t a wrestler. He’s still a very glorified rookie at this point and his athleticism was very impressive considering he was only wrestling on occasion. That being said, the story was just so stupid as Chyna turned face just half an hour ago, making the whole thing a total mess entirely designed around shock value instead of anything that made sense. On top of that Shane keeps the title, which he would vacate a week later. Therefore, X-Pac loses twice, doesn’t get his revenge, and gets laid out while a non-wrestler gets away with everything after everyone is confused by all the turns. Again: Russo.

Post match the Outlaws make the save until Kane comes out to chase HHH off. The Outlaws shout to Lawler that HHH is done. He would be done with the midcard at least as he would win his first WWF World Title in August.

We recap the Big Boss Man vs. Undertaker, which is just a side story of Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker has gone insane and has been stalking Vince’s family, even stealing a bear from Vince’s house (later revealed to belong to his daughter Stephanie, who hadn’t debuted yet) and lighting it on fire. This was part of a MUCH bigger conspiracy that involved secret deals, hidden alliances, Vince being an even bigger psycho than anyone ever knew, and so many plot holes that it was even harder to keep track of than anything else on this show. As for tonight though, Vince is throwing in the Boss Man to take care of Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man

Hell in a Cell. To give you an idea of where Undertaker is right now, here are some of the spoken words during his theme song: “Accept the lord of darkness as your savior. Allow the purity of evil to guide you.” Boss Man pounds away in the corner to start but Undertaker does the same to take over. Various shots put Undertaker down but he keeps sitting up. A double leg trip (in the Cell mind you) puts Boss Man on the floor and Undertaker rams him into the Cell a few times.

Boss Man pulls out some handcuffs to attach Undertaker to the Cell wall. Some nightstick shots break the cuffs though, making the whole thing a waste of time, like so many other things on this show. Undertaker is busted open but comes right back with chair shots to take over, busting Boss Man open in the process. Back in and Undertaker keeps up the offense as we’re waiting on the inevitable. Old School is broken up and Boss Man gets in a few shots, only to walk into the Tombstone for the pin at 9:49.

Rating: F. The sign of a bad gimmick match is when you could do the exact same match without the gimmick being involved. There’s no reason for this to be the Cell as it could have easily been done in a regular cage match instead. It didn’t help that the ending was obvious from the second the match was announced. In addition to the Boss Man being little more than a workout for Undertaker, they had already made it clear that this story was nowhere near being over, which isn’t the spot for a Cell match. Finally, a Cell match that doesn’t break ten minutes? That’s not acceptable.

Post match the Brood (Edge, Christian and Gangrel, a mini stable in the Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness) drops from the ceiling onto the roof of the Cell so they can slip the Undertaker a noose. Undertaker wraps it around Boss Man’s neck and the Cell raises up to hang Boss Man in the middle of the arena.

As Undertaker’s music is playing: Cole: “It’s been a heck of a week in Philadelphia for Wrestlemania!”, and we go to a package on the Wrestlemania Rage Party. A MAN WAS JUST HUNG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING AND IS STILL ON THE VERGE OF DYING. WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT A WRESTLEMANIA PARTY???

Jim Ross makes his return from a bout of Bell’s Palsy to announce the main event. Ross tips his hat to Cole in a nice gesture.

Vince is guest referee, but Commissioner Shawn Michaels makes a surprise appearance with referee Mike Chioda. After complaining that he had to buy a ticket to get in, Shawn tells Vince that he has to pay attention to the rulebook. The rules clearly state that only one person can appoint a referee at Wrestlemania, and I think you can guess who that is. On top of that, the Corporation is barred from ringside and if Shawn sees any of them out here, he and Vince can have a fight of their own out back. This is another angle made and written off in less than two hours.

There’s no recap for Austin vs. Rock but it’s a simple story. Rock won the WWF World Title at Survivor Series 1998 by reaffirming his heel status (he had started turning good after Summerslam but never fully switched) as he was revealed as Vince’s corporate champion. Vince won the 1999 Royal Rumble but Austin wound up with the title shot when Vince forfeited the chance. As mentioned, this is really just the latest man that Vince is throwing at Austin as part of the real feud.

That’s what gave Vince vs. Austin such longevity: Austin could keep fighting fresh opponents because they were always Vince’s latest handpicked man. Instead of fighting one man, Austin was fighting a movement. This gave it the chance to go on far longer than a one on one feud and that’s exactly what Austin vs. Vince did.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

No DQ, Rock is defending and Austin comes out in a shirt due to forgetting his vest at home. This is also the Wrestlemania debut of the WWF World Title belt that debuted the night after Wrestlemania XIV. They immediately brawl to the floor to start and go into the crowd for the main event style brawl. No one can get an advantage so they fight up the aisle with Rock backdropping him knee first onto an electric light, only to be sent into the big Wrestlemania logo, making it sway in a bit of a scary moment.

The champ takes over again and spits water in Austin’s face, only to have Austin put him on the Spanish announcers’ table for an elbow. The table doesn’t break so Austin does it again to get the job done. That’s just the kind of guy he is. Now it’s Austin spitting water in Rock’s face and whipping him into the steps before they go inside for the first time in nearly ten minutes. A Rock Bottom out of nowhere gets two so it’s time for a chair.

As you might expect, the referee takes the hit instead, because this match has been entirely by the book until now. Rock uses the chair to stay on Austin’s knee and a big shot to the head gets two from a second referee. We hit the chinlock and see a replay showing Rock pulling the referee in front of the chair shot earlier on. Rock gets frustrated by a near fall so he Rock Bottoms the referee, only to walk into a Stunner for two from the third referee.

This brings out Vince for a distraction so Rock can hit a low blow. Vince punches out the referee and helps double team Austin until Mick Foley hobbles to the ring to be the fourth referee. The Thesz press takes Rock down but there’s another Rock Bottom. Rock misses the Corporate Elbow and the Stunner gives Austin the title back at 16:52. Vince looking like he’s about to cry is great.

Rating: B. It may not be the highest quality and it was more overbooked than it needed to be but it was certainly entertaining and the right kind of brawl these two needed to have. Austin winning is obvious (sign in the crowd for a lot of the match: “I bet Austin wins.”) and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s still good stuff and a very appropriate style brawl for this era. This would be forgotten later though due to their future Wrestlemania epics but this is quite good on its own.

A lot of beer is consumed, including some by Earl Hebner. JR: “He’s toasting a man who works for a living.” Vince swears at Austin and gets punched in the jaw. One more Stunner ends the show. It wouldn’t have felt right without it.

Highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. Oh this does not hold up well. Aside from the good main event, there is just WAY too much going on here with the show feeling more like Raw than a pay per view. They were booking angles that started and ended later in the show, despite the people having already paid for the show in the first place. This is definitely a show that worked better live with all the twists and turns but those really don’t hold up when you have time to look at them.

The biggest problem though is that aside from the main event, nothing feels important. You have the Tag Team Titles thrown together, the non-wrestler retaining the European Title, the midcard title merry go round and Chyna turning twice in half an hour. That’s certainly a lot of stuff happening, but how much of it is stuff that I actually want to see?

Above all else, the show moves too fast. Of the ten matches, only the main event and HHH vs. Kane break ten minutes. Nothing has a chance to sink in and that takes away a lot of the impact these matches and segments could have. Consider HHH reuniting with Chyna. Yeah it was a cool moment when it happened (albeit two months after they split in the first place) but they both turned half an hour later. How can I let either of them sink in when they happen so close together? If nothing else, it makes me wonder what they’re going to do next instead of thinking it’s over and the big finale for them on that night.

Overall, the problem here is one we’ve encountered before: it doesn’t feel like a Wrestlemania. Other than the main event, nothing feels important. Almost all of this stuff could have happened on any given episode of Raw and that’s just not right. It’s not a good Wrestlemania but there are worse ones out there. Not many of them of course but they do exist. Slow it down and give us some more important matches and the show improves a lot, but that’s a standard criticism of this era.

Ratings Comparison

Hardcore Holly vs. Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D

D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

Original: F+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Mankind vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Road Dogg vs. Goldust vs. Val Venis

Original: D

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Kane vs. HHH

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C

Tori vs. Sable

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man

Original: H (For holy goodness why was this a Cell match?)

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Individual ratings aside, it still sucks.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/22/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-15-this-is-the-best-they-can-do/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/24/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xv-russo-at-his-best/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

You might notice that things have picked up a lot since last year. This can mainly be attributed to the influence of Vince Russo, who isn’t remembered all that fondly. While his later efforts didn’t exactly work out very well (that’s putting it mildly), his early work with this kind of talent around him was a major part of the turnaround in the Monday Night Wars, which will finally see Raw win a battle just two weeks after this show. Let’s get to it.

Chris Warren and the DX Band perform a hard rock version of America the Beautiful and the Star Spangled Banner. This is booed out of the building and was very poorly received both live and later, as it has been edited out of most versions of the show. That’s probably best all around.

The opening video focuses on the lack of tradition in Wrestlemania these days, but the tradition is all about the gold and that’s why everyone is here tonight.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission (Recon/Sniper), Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Brown/Henry), Nation of Domination (Faarooq/Mustafa), Legion of Doom 2000, Quebecers, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns, New Midnight Express

Los Boricuas are Savio Vega’s Puerto Rican street gang split into two teams here, the Truth Commission is a military group from South Africa, Chainz is a biker, the Nation now has Faarooq/Kama Mustafa/Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown, the LOD 2000 are the same guys and a surprise team, the Rock N Roll Express are a famous team from the south, Too Much is better known as Too Cool, the Disciples of Apocalypse are the Harris Twins (formerly known as the Blu Brothers) as bikers, Blackman is a karate expert and the New Midnight Express are Bombastic Bob Holly and Bodacious Bart Gunn in one of the worst ideas of this era.

Only a few teams get an entrance with the LOD coming out last (with Animal in shorts for the first time ever) as a surprise team with Sunny as their new manager. The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at next month’s In Your House XXI and if one member is eliminated his partner is eliminated as well. It’s a huge brawl to start and the fans are entirely behind the LOD. Vega and Perez are eliminated early with Perez having to be helped to the back.

Former Truth Commission member Kurrgan comes out to eliminate the Truth Commission and here’s Bradshaw’s former partner Barry Windham to eliminate Chainz and therefore Bradshaw. Brown/Henry and the Quebecers are eliminated. The other Nation team and the Rock N Roll Express are gone as well with the other Boricuas quickly following. Henry is still in there despite Brown being eliminated but who’s going to stop him?

The Headbangers are eliminated and Henry Godwinn dumps Henry. We’re down to the LOD, the Midnight Express, the Godwinns, Too Much and the DOA as they’re flying through the eliminations so far. There goes Too Much and things finally slow down a bit with eight total men to go. Hawk runs Henry over but Phineas eliminates Skull (partner of 8-Ball) to get rid of DOA. The bikers come back in anyway and throw out the Godwinns to get us down to the LOD and the Midnight Express.

Ever the poor sports, the Godwinns come back in with their metal buckets to knock the LOD silly and give the Express a chance. Animal rolls under the ropes to the floor, leaving Hawk to beat up both goons on his own. Animal comes back in to clean house and the Express is clotheslined out to give LOD the win at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Above all else, they kept this short. There was no standing around waiting to get rid of most of the teams and it makes for a much faster battle royal. Having the LOD return was a great way to wake up the crowd to start and has set a much better pace than the preview few years worth of opening matches. That’s already a good sign so maybe this one will work better. The new LOD wouldn’t work all that well but at least this was fun and quick.

Kevin Kelly and Honky Tonk Man tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Clips of various media appearances that took place in Boston over the recent days. This would become a Wrestlemania tradition and always made the show feel more important.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Michinoku is defending and won the inaugural title late last year. Aguila is better known as Essa Rios and slaps hands with the champion to start. A quick spinwheel kick sends Taka out to the floor and Aguila follows him out with a moonsault to the outside. Taka kicks him outside as well and nails his signature running springboard dive to take over again.

A forearm to the mask (JR’s term, which is one of the only times I’ve heard that called accurately) staggers Aguila but he armdrags Taka off the top. The champ heads outside again and Aguila is right there with a corkscrew plancha for a big gasp from the crowd. Back in and Taka’s middle rope splash (quite the step down after the start to this match) hits knees but he comes back with a running kick in the corner. The Michinoku Driver is escapes but Aguila’s hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. Taka dropkicks him out of the air and now the Driver connects to retain Taka’s title at 5:55.

Rating: B-. This was another good choice to keep the show going as they didn’t even try to do anything aside from fly around the ring and pop the crowd. The light heavyweight division didn’t work very well but this was one of the best pairings they had. Simple idea here and they played it well without staying too long. Good stuff.

Gennifer Flowers (a player in a Bill Clinton scandal) interviewed the Rock earlier today. Yes it’s the Rock now, following one of the best character turnarounds in history. It was clear that Rocky wasn’t going anywhere so he was turned into the ultimate cocky jock who spewed one liners and had more charisma than he knew what to do with.

Flowers asks about Rock being the leader of the government but leader doesn’t suit him. Instead it should be ruler, and as ruler he feels that the homeless should stay away from his freshly mowed grass at his palatial estate in Miami. As for the judicial system, all Rock’s fans need to know is that Rock is judge and jury. Make that a hung jury of course, if you smell what he’s cooking. Some Monica Lewinsky jokes take us out. You might as well have just started printing the money with Rock’s face on it based on this segment.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH is defending in this battle of the huge noses and he’s another guy who has been completely changed. He still has Chyna but now has joined D-Generation X and become a far more dangerous man. HHH and Owen have been feuding for months as fallout from Survivor Series 1997 (I’m going to assume you know that one and why Bret isn’t around anymore) and Chyna is going to be handcuffed to Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter to make sure this is one on one. Owen has a bad leg coming in.

Hart starts fast and scores with some early clotheslines and right hands in the corner followed by a standing hurricanrana for two. So much for the leg being badly damaged but he does seem a bit ginger. HHH sends him to the floor but Slaughter stops Chyna from interfering. Back in and a poke to the eye breaks up the Sharpshooter to give HHH control.

This works a bit better than last time as HHH’s offense has gotten a lot better in the last year. The jumping knee to the face gets two (JR describes it as negotiating a two count, which opens up a host of questions. Did he negotiate it with the referee? Owen? The guy in section 14 selling popcorn? And what did he have to give up for it?) and HHH finally starts going after the leg.

We hit a leg lock and Owen’s nose is bleeding. Owen fights back and crotches the champion against the post, followed by a missile dropkick for two. There’s a spinwheel kick for the same and Lawler is panicking. Owen tries an enziguri but messes up his ankle again to put both guys down. The Sharpshooter is kicked away but Owen falls face first into a low blow.

Lawler goes nuts wanting a DQ as he can just never bring himself to like a Hart. Now the Sharpshooter goes on but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes. Nice job Slaughter. Chyna doesn’t think he did that well either and throws powder into his eyes. The blinded Slaughter (or the referee for that matter) doesn’t see her hit Owen low, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title at 13:27.

Rating: B. What a difference a year makes with HHH as he went from a slow, boring match with Goldust to a really good, fast paced match here with Owen. I never quite got why Hart kept losing and losing to HHH as you would think they might want to go somewhere with him as the last remaining Hart. At least he was a good opponent for HHH and we got a good match here.

Chyna beats up Slaughter to some nice applause post match. Slaughter was one of the worst authority figures in company history and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone who actually enjoyed him in the role.

Buy the new Austin shirt! I think they’ve got that one covered.

We recap Goldust/Luna vs. Marc Mero/Sable. This was an interesting feud as Mero is terribly jealous of Sable’s popularity but now he’s coming to her defense because Luna and Goldust have gone too far attacking her. Goldust is in a very strange place at this point as he’s starved for attention and is wearing mostly women’s clothing or various sexual attire. The video makes no secret of the fact that this is all about Sable.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

That’s Luna Vachon of course and the genders have to match here. The guys get things started and a headscissors sends Goldust crawling over to the corner. Luna wants Mero but gets Sable instead and immediately bails to the floor for a chase. It’s back to Goldust vs. Mero but Sable comes in for a superkick, much to Mero’s annoyance. Luna insists Goldust stay in, much to his annoyance.

Both guys try cross bodies and it’s Mero falling on top for two. The announcers keep talking about how amazing and tough Sable is for taking this match and it’s already annoying. We finally get the tag to Sable for the catfight with Luna but thankfully Sable starts kicking in the corner, including a big shot to Goldust. It’s back to the men with Mero’s slingshot splash hitting knees. That’s fine with Mero who hits Goldust low but can’t get the TKO (fireman’s carry into a cutter).

Mark flips out of a Curtain Call instead and hits (well mostly at least) a springboard moonsault press for two. Some heel miscommunication gives Marc another near fall and now the TKO connects but Luna breaks up the cover. Luna splashes Goldust by mistake and Sable powerbombs her for a very close two. Instead it’s the TKO for the pin on Luna at 9:11. They probably should have just ended it at the powerbomb.

Rating: C. The match was watchable enough albeit a bit messy, but they weren’t even trying to hide the fact that this was all about Sable. To be fair though, the crowd was going NUTS for her and she made the company a fortune going forward so this push was justified. Not a good match or anything but Sable was clearly a big star.

Mero celebrates like he got the pin in a perfect character move.

JR gets the schedule wrong and says we’re coming up on the Tag Team Title match but instead it’s Tennessee Lee (formerly known as Colonel Robert Parker, a pretty bad manager) in the ring. In a pretty worthless cameo, Lee introduces Jeff Jarrett who escorts Flowers to be guest ring announcer.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Rock is defending and the leader of the Nation of Domination. He actually gave Shamrock a title shot back at the Rumble where Shamrock got disqualified and the feud has continued from there. This included Rock BLASTING Shamrock in the face with a chair a few weeks back on Raw in a shot that would probably get him fired today. Rock has the Nation in his corner, minus Faarooq who Rock took the leadership from. If Rock gets disqualified here, he loses the title.

Shamrock starts fast with a pair of clotheslines to send Rock out to the floor. Back in and a kick puts Rock down, followed by a string of right hands to the face. Rock sends him into the steps to take over and the yet to be named People’s Elbow gets two. Ken comes right back and grabs a chair but shoves the referee down, allowing Rock to hit Shamrock in the face with the chair for two. That’s it for Rock’s control though as Shamrock pops up and scores with a powerslam, followed by the ankle lock for the submission at 4:48.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t work very well as it felt like an extended Raw match (yeah five minutes would be long on Raw at this point, especially for the midcard) instead of a big showdown. I know the popular idea would be to change the title here but they knew they had something special with Rock here and didn’t want to screw with it.

Then Shamrock beats up the Nation and puts the hold back on, meaning it’s a reversed decision to give the title back to the Rock. The champ, bleeding from the mouth, is stretchered out but makes sure to hold up the title because it’s still his. Shamrock is livid and beats Rock up even more on the bandstand.

We get the awesome Attitude promo that made the company feel much more real than it was before. A lot of the roster talks about their past accomplishments (Mero being a Golden Gloves champion, the Rock playing for the Miami Hurricanes, Faarooq’s success at Florida State etc.) with the final line of “This isn’t real? Try lacing my boots.”

Tag Team Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and this is a dumpster match (a casket match but with a dumpster) due to them putting Jack (formerly Mankind) and Charlie (Terry Funk) inside a dumpster and shoving them off the stage in February. The Outlaws (You better know them. They were Tag Team Champions in 2014) are growing in popularity every day, even though they’re pretty awful in the ring and completely anti-authority.

It’s a brawl to start and for once that’s the right move. The champs take over and send Funk (the announcers call him Funk more often than they call him Charlie so it’s good enough for me) into the dumpster but you have to get both guys inside and close the lid to win. Cactus tries his flip dive off the apron but only hits the dumpster. Terry gets out so the Outlaws take turns slamming the dumpster down on the challengers’ heads.

Cactus gets the Claw on Road Dogg (sporting a “Look Ma! No curse!” shirt, referencing the Armstrong family curse in a very nice touch) and Funk blasts Gunn in the head with a trashcan lid. Gunn gets crushed by a cookie sheet and now let’s bring in a ladder. Sure why not. Cactus and Gunn climb up and Dogg hits Funk into the ladder, knocking both of them into the dumpster in a huge crash and a big spot for this time period.

Funk gets powerbombed into the dumpster (JR freaks out over this happening to Funk at 53, but he’ll still be around EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER. That’s just not normal.) but Cactus and Gunn get out and take it to the back. They head into the kitchen with Dogg joining in on the beating. Funk gets to the back as well and steals a forklift, lifting the Outlaws into the air and dropping them into another dumpster for the win and the titles at 10:00.

Rating: B. I liked this way more than I should have as it’s a wild brawl but that’s a lot smarter than having these teams try to do a regular match. Cactus and Funk winning the titles together is a cool moment due to their past together and this worked really well. The Outlaws would join DX the next night as they regained the titles, but this was a solid brawl and the title change felt like it meant something.

In Your House XXI ad.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane and this is going to get a bit complicated. Paul Bearer had promised to destroy Undertaker and revealed that Undertaker had a brother named Kane, who had been horribly burned in a fire as a child, a fire that Bearer claimed Undertaker set. During the first Hell in a Cell match, Kane actually debuted and laid out Undertaker, seemingly setting up their first match. However, Undertaker vowed to his parents that he would never fight his brother.

Kane didn’t take this well and, after seemingly forming a bond with his brother, put Undertaker in a casket which he lit on fire at the 1998 Royal Rumble. That was enough for Undertaker, who returned a few weeks later, promising to face his brother at Wrestlemania XIV. This was one heck of a build and the perfect blend of drama and over the top insanity that made the era work. Now if only the match can live up to it.

Before we get to the match though, here’s baseball legend Pete Rose as guest ring announcer for one of the most infamous moments in Wrestlemania history. Rose goes full on heel, ripping on the Boston Red Sox for not being able to win the World Series. “I left tickets for Bill Buckner but he couldn’t bend over and pick them up. HOW BOUT IT?” The fans are ready to kill him but here’s Kane to do it for them. Kane tombstones Rose and is instantly the biggest hero in the building…..for about ninety seconds. Major credit to Rose here, who clearly got the idea of being a heel instantly and had a blast with this. He’ll be back.

Undertaker vs. Kane

The first of many. Undertaker begins his tradition of incredible Wrestlemania entrances, walking through a tunnel of torches held by cloaked druids. JR knows it’s going to be big and sums it up perfectly: “This ovation will be not of this world.” That’s nowhere near strong enough as the place comes unglued and with good reason. What an entrance, easily one of the best of all time.

They stare each other down and Undertaker hammers away to almost no effect. A big toss by the throat sends Undertaker into the corner but Kane charges into a boot to the face. Undertaker charges into a Tombstone attempt but gets dropped on his head in the corner. Kane knees Undertaker down in the corner before draping him ribs first across the top rope.

Undertaker gets back up and tries a big boot but winds up on Kane’s shoulders. The electric chair drop doesn’t work very well as Undertaker lands on his arms but it was a cool spot until then. Kane takes him to the floor and drops the steps on Undertaker’s back a few times. A suplex brings Undertaker back in and the backstory starts to fall apart. Kane was supposed to be in an asylum for most of his life but he knows how to suplex people? It doesn’t add up, which says a lot given how much else I’m supposed to buy about this story. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane pulls him up at two.

We hit the chinlock on Undertaker, stop for a clothesline break, and put it back on. After the better part of three minutes in the hold, Undertaker fights up and drops Kane over the top. The Taker Dive makes its Wrestlemania debut but Kane steps to the side, sending Undertaker crashing through the Spanish announcers’ table. Back in and Kane scores with the top rope clothesline for two.

They slug it out again and Kane grabs a Tombstone for two. Undertaker comes back with a good chokeslam and a Tombstone of his own…..for two. That might be the first time ever and the shock from the crowd implies that it is. A second tombstone gets two more and there’s a top rope clothesline. Kane sits up again so Undertaker gives him a third Tombstone and a regular cover for the pin at 16:58. Kane would have been up at 16:59.

Rating: D+. This is a tricky one to grade but the atmosphere and build carries this as far as it can go. The problem here is that chinlock. It just kills everything the match had going for it and looks so completely out of place. This would have been better as an all out war which they tried at times but it wound up being more of a wrestling match, which isn’t the right idea. The ending sequence helped and the power brawling was good, but this needed to be a war with weapons and violence all over the place, which it only was at times.

Now for the big question: did the right person win? The more I think about it, the more I think Undertaker should have lost here. It’s very rare to see a real argument for the Streak ending, but at this point it still wasn’t really a thing. The story makes more sense if Kane destroys Undertaker here and wins, but you could argue that Kane already destroyed Undertaker when he lit him on fire. If you can’t stop a man by lighting him on fire, pinning him for three seconds really doesn’t prove much. Still though, they both wound up fine with Kane being WWF World Champion in June.

Bearer comes in for some cheap shots, allowing Kane to lay Undertaker out with a chair and another Tombstone. Kane and Bearer leave but Undertaker sits up again.

Another Attitude spot, but this time with some legends talking about how amazing their days were. In their time, there were no flashing lights or moonsaults, no walking the top rope or pyrotechnics. Today though, the legends are the ones cheering. Another outstanding ad here as you can see that everything is changing.

We recap Austin vs. Michaels, which translates to a video on Mike Tyson, who is the real star of this show and the reason it was such a big deal. This is one of the best celebrity investments in company history and made the match.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Tyson, a member of D-Generation X, is guest enforcer referee, meaning he’s on the floor for most of the match. Michaels is defending after Austin won the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. We get the always cool tracking shots from the back to the entrances to make this feel even more special. Austin gets an incredible reaction as there’s just no way to hide the fact that he’s winning tonight. The D-X Band plays Shawn to the ring for a cool entrance. Remember that Shawn’s back and Austin’s neck are barely held together here.

They circle each other to start and Shawn gets in a left jab. The chase is on and Shawn loses most of his tights for an unwanted view. A backdrop puts Shawn over the top and down onto HHH, who whips Austin into the barricade in retaliation. That’s enough for a double ejection and it’s one on one.

They fight to the bandstand and Shawn hits him in the face with a cymbal. The fans get behind Austin again and the guys head back inside with Austin working on the back. An atomic drop (makes sense) gets two and it’s back to the floor with Shawn being knocked off the apron and face first into the announcers’ table. Austin jacks him in the jaw again but gets backdropped over the top and into the crowd. The bell knocks Austin silly again and Tyson has no problem with it of course. You can see the agony on Shawn’s face and he can barely move.

The fans chant HOLYFIELD in an annoying moment and Shawn keeps punching away. Austin tackles him though and throws Michaels over the top as I can’t believe Shawn can still get up. The champ sweeps the leg and wraps it around the post to give him a target. Back in and Shawn stays on the knee before sending him to the floor for a baseball slide. There’s a Figure Four on Austin but he turns it over pretty quickly. It’s comeback time until Shawn grabs a sleeper.

Austin drives Shawn back into the referee though and Michaels is whipped into various corners. You can see that he can barely take the bumps and it’s tough to sit through. Shawn comes back with the forearm and somehow nips up (the camera misses it AGAIN). The top rope elbow looks to set up the Sweet Chin Music but Austin is ready for it. The Stunner is countered as well and I’ll let JR take it from here until the pin at 20:01. “Michaels going for another kick. Austin…..HE GOT IT! THE STUNNER! MIKE TYSON IN! AUSTIN IS THE CHAMPION! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!”

Rating: A-. And that’s how the WWF won the war. When you factor in the injuries, this is one of the most impressive and gutsy performances you’ll ever see. Austin was in terrible shape and he’s still miles ahead of Shawn. It’s hard to watch Shawn going through a match like this and the things he was doing out there are absolutely amazing when you consider he had a broken back. Let me repeat that: he had a BROKEN BACK and wrestled a great twenty minute match where he was being thrown all over the place. Great match and exactly the way Austin needed to ascend to the top of the wrestling world.

One last thing: Austin hit one Stunner and only one Stunner. They didn’t trade finishers all over the place and kick out at 2 and 7/8. The finishing move finished the match and won the title, just like it’s supposed to do. It really makes the moment feel more important and definitive as Austin won a close match but he won it with no doubts.

JR gets the famous line with “The Austin Era has begun!” Michaels is ticked off at Tyson and takes a swing, earning him a right hand to the jaw to knock Shawn out cold. Confetti falls and the highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. It’s not a great show, but it nailed the ending and lived up to enough of the hype to do what it was supposed to do. The WWF was white hot at this point and there was nothing WCW could do to touch them now that Austin is the champion. As mentioned earlier, it would be two weeks before they won a night in the Monday Night Wars but the battle was over the second this show went off the air.

There are better Wrestlemanias out there but this one was the right show at the right time with the right ending. The memorable moments here are memorable for a reason and the show holds up today for all the right reasons. This show launched the WWF into its second great era and they never looked back. Well not for a few years at least.

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: B

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

That’s a lot more all over the place than usual, even by my standards.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/21/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-14-everything-changes-forever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-the-austin-era-has-begun/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

The advertised main event this year is the Undertaker challenging Sid for the WWF World Title. This isn’t the biggest match in the world but then again this isn’t the biggest Wrestlemania in the world. That’s the underlying problem with this show: it feels like any other show instead of the biggest night of the year. This was a strange period where Wrestlemania wasn’t being treated as the company’s grand showcase but that would change soon enough. Let’s get to it.

Free For All: Billy Gunn vs. Flash Funk

Funk is better known as 2 Cold Scorpio and is a very skilled high flier. Billy is on his own now and isn’t all that interesting as a solo cowboy. Gunn starts fast but Funk flips out of a backdrop and scores with a superkick. A bad looking belly to back superplex drops Funk again and a clothesline gets a very sloppy two.

The announcers ignore the match to talk about Austin vs. Hart and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Gunn misses a top rope legdrop, allowing Funk to hit a spinwheel kick for two. Funk gets the same off a top rope victory roll but his moonsault hits knees. Billy comes back with a tornado DDT for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D+. This just wasn’t very good. Gunn was such a lame character on his own and it would only get worse soon after this as he would become Rockabilly for several months. Funk was at least entertaining with his high flying even though his career in the WWF never went anywhere. Boring match.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania but this isn’t quite the same thing. That’s very true as this one wasn’t even a sellout. We hear about the spirit of rebellion in the air and Austin vs. Bret is discussed after the main event.

Godwinns vs. New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers

This is a four team elimination match with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot the next night on Monday Night Raw. The Blackjacks are Bradshaw and Barry Windham, Furnas and LaFon are a Canadian team who aren’t the most interesting guys in the world and the Headbangers are….different. They wear skirts and slam into each other in what is considered dancing. Before the match the Blackjacks say they’re riding again (the original team hadn’t been around for about twenty years. Of note, Windham is the son of Blackjack Mulligan and Bradshaw is the nephew of Blackjack Lanza) in a quick interview.

It’s a huge brawl to start as you would expect until it’s Henry vs. Bradshaw. The Godwinn get the better of it but Thrasher is quickly in, only to get planted with a pumphandle slam. Phineas comes in to beat on Thrasher even more before he tags out to Mosh, giving us Headbanger vs. Headbanger.

That goes nowhere so it’s off to Windham vs. Furnas (an incredible powerhouse) with the latter pulling off a hurricanrana, only to get caught in a powerslam for no cover. Bradshaw comes in and falls to the floor with Furnas but Bradshaw shoves the referee down for the DQ and an elimination. Furnas and LaFon are counted out as well, meaning it’s down to the Godwinns vs. the Headbangers.

Phineas works over throws Thrasher around and gets two off a delayed vertical suplex. It’s back to Henry who is sent into the buckle, followed by an awkward exchange where Thrasher seemed to forget to raise his boot in the corner. Phineas comes in to spit in Thrasher’s face (which Vince says Phineas does to farm animals, much to Lawler’s confusion) but it’s quickly off to Mosh vs. Henry with the big man scoring with a Cactus Clothesline.

Mosh dives off the apron to take Henry down and this just keeps going. Commenting on the Headbangers’ attire, Lawler asks if Vince has any White Zombie CDs. Vince: “White……Zombie?” Back in and Thrasher misses a moonsault, allowing the tag to Phineas for some house cleaning. Thrasher breaks up the Slop Drop and Mosh hits the Stage Dive (top rope seated senton) for the pin and the title shot at 10:39.

Rating: D. The wrestling was sloppy, the teams had no issues coming in and the double elimination felt really cheap. This was one of the worst possible ideas for an opening match as it started bad and never got any better. Just not a very good match as it went longer than it needed to and didn’t change the fact that this division is still lacking.

In Your House XIV ad.

Brian Pillman and Sunny tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Intercontinental Title: The Sultan vs. Rocky Maivia

Honky Tonk Man is out on commentary in his quest for a new protege. Rocky is defending (after beating Hunter Hearst Helmsley to win the title a little over a month ago in a big upset) and Sultan is just a Middle Eastern monster played by the future Rikishi and managed by Bob Backlund and the Iron Sheik. Rocky starts fast with some right hands and a dropkick to send Sultan out to the floor.

Sultan throws him into the post to take over as the crowd is noticeably not interested. Back in and a hard clothesline gets two on the champ and we’re in the nerve hold. Oh sweet goodness not this again. Honky Tonk says he’d have already won with the Shake Rattle and Roll and be in the back combing his hair. Sultan’s top rope headbutt gets two and it’s time for a chinlock.

The fans are rightfully bored and restless as this hold continues. Rocky makes his comeback with some open handed punches and a belly to belly for two as the fans still don’t seem interested. The high cross body (Rocky’s finisher) connects but Sheik has the referee. A great looking superkick (he always had a good one) takes the champ down and a piledriver gets two. Rocky comes right back with a rollup for the pin to retain at 9:43.

Rating: D-. This one was less bad and much more dull with the chinlock in the middle killing anything they could have gotten out of it. Rocky would of course get way better but he didn’t have a character or anywhere near the charisma that he would have in the future. That leaves you with a dull match against a one note challenger which isn’t something you want to do after a lame opener.

Post match Sultan, Sheik and Backlund destroy Rocky but his dad Rocky Johnson comes in for the save and house is cleaned.

Ken Shamrock, the former UFC Champion and the guest referee for the submission match, promises to not be intimidated.

Dok Hendrix (better known as Michael P.S. Hayes and with a very loud echo for some reason) asks Helmsley about his relationship with newcomer Chyna. Helmsley says Hendrix doesn’t need to know about it and tonight he’s taking Goldust out straight up. Marlena better be watching out too.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Helmsley has taken a major step up in the last year as he’s a lot more serious though still far away from what he would become. This started a few months ago when Helmsley made a pass at Marlena. Goldust went after Helmsley but Chyna debuted and attacked Marlena to continue the feud. Goldust is now good but still a bit out there as he crouches down and stares at Hunter before exploding with right hands. He makes sure to spit down at Chyna who as usual doesn’t flinch.

Helmsley gets clotheslined out to the floor as Lawler accuses Vince of wearing a toupee. More right hands are followed by a ram into the post and this is one sided so far. Hunter’s facebuster only gives him a temporary reprieve as Goldust scores with a nice powerslam. With all the momentum, Goldust goes up top but gets thrown down onto the floor in a huge crash to completely change momentum. Things slow way down as they should when the villain is in control and Goldust’s clothes are partially removed for the second year in a row.

Hunter puts on an abdominal stretch to slow things down even more as Marlena puffs on a cigar. Off to a chinlock with Helmsley’s arm not actually making contact with Goldust’s throat. A suplex gets two on Goldust and a DDT gets the same. Back up and Goldust’s comeback is stopped as they ram heads to make the match drag again. Goldust loads up the Curtain Call (reverse suplex slam) but Chyna goes after Marlena, allowing the Pedigree to put Goldust away at 13:17.

Rating: D+. I’ve never liked this match or feud but I guess it’s an improvement as they had a longer and worse match at the Royal Rumble. These two fought each other for the first half of 1997 and it never took off. Helmsley just wasn’t entertaining at this point as he had such a slow paced offense and Goldust wasn’t really the kind of person who was going to be able to help him to a new level here. It’s not a horrible match but it’s really boring, especially after an awful first hour.

Marc Mero and Sable pitch Wrestlemania shirts. Well ok it’s mainly Sable but Mero is there too.

Shawn Michaels can’t figure out AOL.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/Vader vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

All villains here. Hart and Bulldog are defending and Mankind and Vader have Paul Bearer in their corner after Bearer turned on Undertaker at Summerslam 1996. The champs have been having issues for months and Owen recently said he was smarter than Bulldog, who is also European Champion, having beaten Owen in a tournament final to become the inaugural champion.

Vader powers Owen into the corner to start and pummels him with right hands. A splash misses but Owen tries a hurricanrana and is easily powerbombed down. Heaven help this team if he’s the smarter one. Everything breaks down and Bulldog throws the challenger around before staying in to headbutt Mankind. Bulldog suplexes both of them in an awesome power display (he was always great at those) and we hit the chinlock on Mankind.

They head outside with Vader nailing Bulldog in the back of the head with the urn to take over. Now it’s Vader’s turn for a middle rope splash, followed by a running knee to the head from Mankind. Vader dives into a powerslam (a very common spot for him) and the tag brings in Owen, who the fans don’t cheer because he’s a heel. Hart avoids a sitdown splash and cross bodies Vader, only to run into a heavy clothesline to give the challengers control again. Owen gets beaten down in front of his parents in the front row and Lawler has a ball with his jokes.

Mankind blocks a splash with his knees as the announcers discuss the history of the WWF in this building, including a Wrestling Classic reference. A nice spinwheel kick puts Vader down to no response but he breaks up Owen’s tag attempt. Mankind follows Owen to the floor but charges into a belly to belly. The hot tag finally brings in Bulldog to clean house, even knocking Vader’s mask off. The powerslam is countered by the Mandible Claw though and they fall outside for the double countout at 16:04.

Rating: C-. That’s the best match of the night by far and it’s really more long than good. Mankind and Vader probably should have taken the titles here, even if it was just for a quick title reign before Owen and Bulldog got them back. They had held the titles for months now and it was time to freshen the division up a bit.

Mankind won’t let go of the hold for a bit but the challengers eventually leave, far too happy about a double countout draw.

We get a long recap of Hart vs. Austin. This is all about Austin having no respect for anything Bret Hart has done in the WWF and letting his venom flow through the company. Austin has been winning the mental game too as Bret has started completely snapping, going on hateful tirades about how everyone has screwed him over and how it’s everyone else that has changed. Bret’s entire legacy rides on him being able to defeat Steve Austin and regain the fans’ respect in this one match.

This is one of the greatest stories ever told in wrestling as the details (costing Bret the title, the Royal Rumble etc) are all secondary to the underlying theme: Bret being unable to hold on to the past and not accepting this new reality. Austin embodied the rebellious nature and it made for a perfect dynamic with the traditionalist Bret. As great as the stories were, the matches were even better and made the feud one of the best ever.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Submission match with Ken Shamrock refereeing. Austin has a famous entrance as a wall of glass saying AUSTIN 3:16 breaks and he walks through the broken pieces. The fans are split here but it seems to be more pro-Bret coming in. They slug it out to start and are on the floor very quickly. Austin is sent face first into the post but he crotches Bret across the barricade and clotheslines him into the crowd.

Bret gets whipped into some hockey boards but he fights back and they head deeper into the fans. A backdrop gets Bret out of a piledriver as you can barely see anything at the moment. Back to ringside with Bret in control and the fans completely into something for the first time all night. Austin reverses a whip to send Bret into the steps but Hart grabs a swinging neckbreaker to get a breather back inside.

Vince is already treating Bret like the heel on commentary, wondering what kind of excuse Bret will have if he loses. It’s time to work on Austin’s eternally damaged knee with a leg snap and some cannonballs off the ropes. He misses another cannonball though and Austin grabs the Stunner out of nowhere. No covers though so Bret gets up and kicks the knee out again.

The Figure Four around the post has Austin screaming but he doesn’t give up. Lawler: “Bret can twist that leg until it looks like the Chicago White Sox’s Robin Ventura but Austin won’t submit.” Bret grabs a chair but can’t Pillmanize the leg, allowing Austin to get in a great chair shot to knock Hart off the top. The fans are losing it for Austin here and you can see the future right in front of your eyes.

Austin’s middle rope elbow, complete with two middle fingers, has Bret in even more trouble. JR is on fire here as he talks about how this is all about respect and emotion instead of covering a bald spot (shot at Hogan) or your reputation. Unfortunately Vince is there to bring it back down to dull, unemotional commentary that sounds like a high school chemistry teacher trying to be funny.

Austin goes for a submission by laying on his back, wrapping his leg around Bret’s head and pulling back on his arm (it’s hard to put into words) before going for a standard Boston crab, only to have Hart make it to the ropes. Austin can’t get a Sharpshooter on Bret (Lawler: “Wouldn’t that be great? Seeing Bret submit to the Sharpshooter?” Vince: “Hey, it could happen.”) so he sends him outside instead. A hard whip sends Austin into the barricade, wiping out a bunch of commentators and busting him open.

Bret sends him into other metal objects and sweet goodness Austin is spewing blood. Hart pounds away on the cut and it’s time for the Five Moves of Doom. That’s enough wrestling though and Bret starts driving the chair into Austin’s bad knee. JR again goes into his full on excitement mode before Bret hammers away in the corner. Austin isn’t interested in wrestling either and kicks Bret low. The fans are right back into this and Austin is fired up. He stomps one heck of a mudhole in the corner, flips Bret off, and stomps him again.

A nice superplex plants Bret again and Austin chokes him with an electrical cord, only to have Bret grab the bell to knock Austin out. That’s a very nice callback to Wrestlemania VIII where Piper wouldn’t give into the demons but Bret easily did. The Sharpshooter goes on and the blood is flowing out of Austin’s head in one of the most famous shots in wrestling (As Austin would later say on his podcast: “That’s an image that sold a lot of t-shirts.”). A loud Austin chant starts up and he powers out of the hold as the blood drips down between his teeth but Bret gets it back on and Austin passes out to end the match at 22:03.

Rating: A+. Good grief this match is amazing. This is the match that turned Austin into the biggest star of all time and the moment where the WWF had the Monday Night Wars won. It would take time, but Austin was clearly going to be the hottest thing ever and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

That’s the key to the whole match and a great piece of symbolism: Bret could not stop Austin and only slowed him down. No matter what Bret did, he couldn’t make Austin quit, even after he gave in to the dark side. This is on the short list for the greatest match of all time and certainly one of the best Wrestlemania matches ever. In case you somehow haven’t seen this, go out of your way to watch it at some point because it’s one of the best and most important matches of all time.

Bret is still livid and stomps away even more until Shamrock (who wasn’t a factor in the match) breaks it up and offers to fight. Hart leaves and is booed out of the building as Austin has pulled himself to the corner. Austin pulls his way up and Stuns the referee for trying to help him. He very slowly limps to the back with no help, receiving thunderous cheers from the crowd. A star has been born and everyone knows it. Even the announcers put him over as the toughest man they’ve ever seen.

The Nation of Domination (Faarooq, Savio Vega and Crush plus an army of unnamed men, many of whom were actors there to make the Nation look even bigger. That’s actually a very smart idea and not something I’ve seen since.) promises that it’s going to be a fight against the Legion of Doom and Ahmed Johnson. Ahmed had feuded with the Nation for months now and this is one of their many showdowns.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

This is a Chicago Street Fight and the Nation has brought out a bunch of weapons to use. Ahmed has a 2×4 and Hawk brings a kitchen sink for the sake of completeness. The LOD seems even more fired up than usual to be in their hometown. It’s a brawl to start of course and thankfully there are no tags required here. The good guys clean house to start and the yet to be named D’Lo Brown, JC Ice and Wolfie D. (the rappers who perform the Nation’s theme song) are slammed down to the floor.

Ahmed dives over the barricade to take Crush out as this is rapidly turning into a match that is impossible to call. Hawk swings a 2×4 at Savio but hits the ropes, sending the board into the air, only to have Hawk make a nice catch to send Savio running again. Animal tries to piledrive Faarooq through the French announcers’ table but they fall to the side instead. Instead Animal sprays him with a fire extinguisher and things slow down a bit until Ahmed slams Faarooq through the French table.

Animal beats the fire out of Savio with a trashcan but the fire extinguisher goes off again to blind everyone. The Nation puts a noose around Ahmed’s throat to hang him over the ropes but Hawk comes back with a double clothesline. Faarooq tries to choke Hawk with the noose until he gets pulled off the top rope for a big crash. The brawling continues until Crush gets caught in a quick Doomsday Device, followed by a 2×4 shot to give Animal the pin at 10:43.

Rating: B. It’s the definition of a garbage brawl but these guys beat the fire out of each other the entire time and gave us one heck of an entertaining brawl, especially in the death slot after the submission match. This was really fun and that’s all it needed to be with the fans going nuts over seeing the LOD dominant and violent one more time.

JC Ice and Wolfie D. take a double Doomsday Device after the match.

In Your House XIV ad.

There’s no recap for the main event but there isn’t much of a story to tell. Sid took the title from Bret when Austin interfered and Undertaker has been in the title hunt for a long time now. This was originally going to be Bret taking the title from Shawn to get his win back from last year but Shawn lost his smile just in time for the match to not take place. That’s very convenient no?

Shawn Michaels comes out for commentary, taking his sweet time to soak in all the cheers.

Sid says he isn’t scared of the darkness.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

Sid is defending and gets the very cool name in lights fireworks display. The bell rings and here’s Bret Hart (Shawn: “Imagine that: Bret being resentful about not being in the main event.”) to insult Shawn for faking an injury, tell Undertaker that they’re no longer friends, and tell Sid that he’s a fraud as champion. Sid just smiles and powerbombs Bret before telling the crybaby to hop along. There’s a second bell and we’re ready to go.

Undertaker pounds away to start and hits an early Old School, only to get caught in a bearhug. The hold stays on for nearly two minutes as Lawler and Michaels bicker for a bit. Shawn asks if you can actually squeeze the life out of Undertaker. Sid boots Undertaker in the face and kicks him over the announcers’ table as this is dragging along.

A slam turns the table over but Undertaker is right back to his feet and they go inside with Vince mentioning that this was turned into a No DQ match earlier today. Not that it really matters but that’s three straight No DQ matches to end the show. Sid pulls back on a camel clutch as Shawn gets in a perfect analysis by saying Sid doesn’t deviate from the power because it takes him everywhere he needs to go. That’s such a perfect lesson that so many people don’t understand.

Sid gets two off a powerslam and the frustration is setting in. Shawn: “Better pound on him some more.” They go outside again with Sid being knocked over the barricade so Undertaker can punch him in the face. Back in and we hit a bad chinlock (read as Undertaker is laying on his back with Sid’s hands on his face) until Undertaker fights up with a powerslam for two.

Now it’s Undertaker with a nerve hold as the crowd is getting restless again. Back up and it’s a double big boot to put both of them down. A middle rope clothesline (more like a fist) gets two for the champ but Undertaker punches him out of the air on the next attempt. Now it’s Undertaker going up top for a clothesline for two of his own. Sid reverses the Tombstone into one of his own but even the arm fold cover gets two.

They go outside for the third time and here’s Bret again to blast Sid in the back with a chair. Back in and a chokeslam gets two for Undertaker but he misses a running clothesline. Sid sets for the powerbomb until Bret comes down AGAIN (Shawn: “Doesn’t he get tired of getting beat up?”) and snaps Sid across the top rope, setting up the Tombstone to give Undertake the title at 23:54.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here and the match was a disaster most of the time. Sid isn’t made to go this long and it made for one heck of a bad match. The Bret stuff got annoying in a hurry but at least he was more interesting than either guy out there. Undertaker winning is definitely the right call as Sid was pretty much gone after this and Undertaker could at least do some entertaining things with the right opponent. That’s not the case here though and the match was a disaster.

Undertaker poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. There’s a really good stretch of about forty five minutes in there that was on fire but this isn’t a forty five minute show. So much of this was spent on matches that didn’t feel important or didn’t give me a reason to care. What changed here other than the World Title? Rocky retains in a lame match, the Tag Team Titles go to a double countout and we need to watch tomorrow to find out what happens with the Headbangers?

Much like Wrestlemania IX, this didn’t feel like a Wrestlemania. If this was any other show during the year, the results would have been much better. Unfortunately, as has been the case multiple times, this was the biggest show of the year and the card didn’t live up to the standard. This isn’t a good show but that’s a very common problem around this time, which is why business was in such a bad place here.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

The street fight is good but it’s not THAT good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/22/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiii-austins-ascension/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XII
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Much like last year, there’s nothing else to talk about besides the main event. This is all about Shawn vs. Bret and they’re not even trying to hide it. The other big match on the card is Diesel vs. Undertaker but it’s so far behind the World Title match that it’s not fair to mention them in the same breath. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the show, here’s a bonus that probably should have been on the main card (at least on paper). Occasionally WWF would air a match on their pre-show (known as the Kickoff Show in modern times) and I’ll include them if they’re available. There were dark matches for years before Wrestlemania would go on the air but this is the first that was actually recorded.

Free For All: Tag Team Titles: Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

This is a tournament final for the vacant titles. The Bodydonnas (Skip and Zip, a pair of exercise enthusiasts) have Sunny, a rather attractive manager and the Godwinns (Henry O. and Phineas I. (get it?), hog farmers) have Hillbilly Jim in their corner. Of note there’s a big blimp flying around over the lower arena, making it practically impossible for fans sitting behind it to see a thing.

Henry and Zip start things off and a wheelbarrow slam gives the Godwinns early control. Phineas comes in and has one of his fits as he clears the ring. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by any of this. Things settle back down and it’s Henry catapulting Zip over the top and down onto Skip for a nice crash to get the crowd into things a bit. For some reason Phineas tries to come in (he never was that bright) and the Bodydonnas take over with a double slingshot suplex.

Skip drops Zip into a legdrop onto Henry but a Rocket Launcher misses. The cold tag brings in Phineas to clean house and Skip is in trouble. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) but Sunny gets on the apron and pulls up her skirt to flash Phineas, allowing Skip to roll him up for the pin and the titles at 5:24.

Rating: D-. Thankfully these things would get better later on because this was terrible. It’s probably better that this wasn’t on the main show as people really didn’t need to see how dismal the tag division had become at this point. There were so many lame gimmick teams like this and they took years to get better, but even then it only lasted for a short time. Terrible match but the right result.

The opening video is entirely focused on Bret vs. Shawn and their contrasting personalities with Bret being all about respect and Shawn being very in your face. They respect each other coming in and this is going to be a great test for both, even though looking back there was no question about which way this was going.

Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson/Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart/Vader

Johnson is an athletic freak who would have been WWF World Champion had he not been so injury prone. Yokozuna is even heavier than ever and is in this match to get his hands on the heels’ manager Jim Cornette if the good guys win. Vader is Cornette’s new charge and really shouldn’t need an introduction. The big guys start brawling at the start and it’s Yokozuna’s team clearing house with Yokozuna launching Ahmed over the top and out onto Vader. That’s good for a better reaction than anything in the Tag Team Title match had and we’re less than a minute in.

Vader and Yokozuna slug it out to start with Yokozuna getting the better of it until Owen and Vader get him down in the corner. Vader pounds him down with rights and lefts but misses a splash, allowing the hot tag to Ahmed. We get some real house cleaning from the powerhouse but Vader gets in a shot from behind. Vince talks about a herd of buffalo until Owen dropkicks Johnson down, allowing Vader to come back in for some more big shots to the head.

Ahmed completely misses a clothesline to Owen (Johnson had a great look and awesome charisma but he couldn’t do the actual wrestling part) and makes the tag off to Jake for his signature punches. Owen blocks the DDT though and it’s off to Bulldog for a front facelock. The heels keep taking turns on Jake and Owen’s top rope elbow gets two. Bulldog’s running powerslam gets the same (that’s a big surprise) and so does a splash from Vader.

Jake finally avoids a legdrop and falls into the tag off to Yokozuna who pounds Vader down in the corner again. Owen takes the DDT but Jake has to intercept an interfering Cornette. That looks to set up a DDT on Cornette but Vader makes the save and Vader Bombs Jake for the pin at 13:11.

Rating: C-. This didn’t need to be so long and the teasing of Yokozuna getting his hands on Cornette didn’t go anywhere. They did however keep Jake in there for the most part and that’s the right idea given how good he was at selling a beating like that. Yokozuna was only good for quick bursts at this point and the weight would lead to him leaving the company. Vader was clearly on the rise as he was a monster but one who could move with very impressive speed, making him a great addition to the main event.

Call the Hotline!

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Goldust, which can be translated to “Razor Ramon had drug issues so here’s Piper instead.” Piper is a man’s man and President of the WWF, but Goldust (still very bizarre in actions here instead of just in name only) is attracted to Piper and his power. That’s not cool with Roddy and it’s time for a fight at Wrestlemania. Not a match mind you, but they’re going to be fighting in a back lot.

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

This is a Hollywood Back Lot Brawl and Piper is waiting, baseball bat in hand. Goldust drives up in a gold Cadillac, which Piper attacks with a fire hose and then the more logical bat. Piper goes after Goldust with the bat and the camera is jumping all over the place. They break up a concessions table and Piper beats him all over the lot, including some HARD right hands that sounded like they were making some very real impact.

Goldust gets slammed onto the hood of the car and seems to be bleeding from somewhere. A low blow slows Piper down and Goldust runs him over, causing Piper (or more likely a stunt man) to hang on as Goldust drives through the lot. Piper finally falls off and steals a white Bronco to chase after Goldust. No rating due to time but we’re not done with this yet.

Savio Vega vs. Steve Austin

Vega is a Puerto Rican brawler and Austin is the Million Dollar Champion (not on the line here) with Ted DiBiase in his corner. These two had been fighting for a bit but it was made worse when they had to team together in the Tag Team Title tournament. Austin didn’t want to win and laid out Savio instead. We’re ready to go after Savio says he’s ready for anything.

They slug it out and the brawl is quickly on the floor where a DiBiase distraction doesn’t do Austin any good. Back in and Vega’s shoulder goes into the post as Austin takes over on his own. That’s a nice, subtle point and would come into play months later when Austin intentionally got DiBiase sent out of the company.

Austin tries to work on the arm but Savio takes over with some nice kicks. Oh wait though as Roddy Piper calls in to say he’s chasing Goldust down the freeway because this isn’t over. Vega flips out of a chinlock but the arm is still bothering him. Austin comes back with a middle rope elbow as Piper gets on the phone again but his phone keeps cutting off when he’s about to swear. This is a bad sitcom plot.

A pinfall reversal sequence gets a few near falls each but we have an aerial shot of Piper…..which is the video from the OJ Simpson car chase. Back to the match (which shouldn’t have to happen more than once ever) and Austin dives into a raised boot to put both guys down. Savio wins a slugout but a spinwheel kick takes out the referee. The distraction lets DiBiase throw in the title belt goes upside Savio’s head twice, allowing Austin to put on the Million Dollar Dream until the referee wakes up to call the match at 10:03.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining while they actually focused on it but instead we had to sit through Piper calling in (likely from backstage) to advance this stupid idea that no one not named McMahon finds funny. These two feuded for several months and it was a very underrated pairing with both guys getting better as a result. Of course Austin would move on to a much bigger feud later in the year and never looked back, but this was really fun stuff like it lasted.

Austin won’t let the hold go for a long time after the match is over.

More Piper footage which is still from the OJ chase.

We recap Undertaker pulling Diesel through the mat last month at In Your House VI and then Diesel seeing himself in a coffin. Diesel says he’s dealing with Undertaker tonight and then Shawn is next. Yes Shawn and not the title. I guess even Diesel knew what was coming in the main event.

Another half second of Piper footage as the announcers make sure to not say where they’ve seen this before.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Ultimate Warrior

Helmsley has a new valet (like he did every week) named Sable. Warrior is making his return for the first time since 1992 and Lawler had been suggesting that he was 400lbs and bald. Of course he’s his normal (normalish I guess) self and Lawler looks like an idiot again. Helmsley (who is TINY by comparison to what he would become) attacks Warrior before the bell and hits the Pedigree thirty seconds in. Warrior is almost to his feet faster than Helmsley though and it’s time for the clotheslines and shoulders. The gorilla press and splash end Helmsley at 1:39, though I think he’ll be fine. Warrior would be gone again by July.

Merchandise ad.

The debuting Wildman Marc Mero (Johnny B. Badd from WCW) says he’s ready for the competition here in the WWF. Helmsley stumbles in and they get in a fight to set up Mero’s first feud.

In Your House VII ad.

Diesel vs. Undertaker

This is the first time Undertaker has had a really serious challenger at Wrestlemania in a few years and for once he feels like he’s in real danger. These two have cost each other title shots at the last two pay per views and now it’s time for them to go one on one in a marginal dream match. Diesel wins a slugout to start and crushes Undertaker with a running clothesline in the corner.

Undertaker misses his big elbow but sits right back up and they quickly on the floor. A quick ram into the steps looks to set up the tombstone back inside but Diesel slips off the back and kicks Undertaker in the face for two. They’re flying through this so far. Undertaker misses the jumping clothesline and crashes into the ropes, only to snap Diesel’s throat across the top. Diesel is right back though and throws Undertaker into the barricade before stopping to pose.

Back in and the side slam gets two, followed by Snake Eyes (actually called that by Vince, I believe for the only time ever) to keep Undertaker in trouble. In a rare sight, both guys connect with a big boot at the same time (that’s hard to do when you think about it). It’s Diesel up first and we hit the bearhug on Undertaker. Lawler: “YOU GOT HIM BAY-BAY!”

Undertaker suplexes his way out of it but Diesel is up again and scores with the Jackknife. He’d rather celebrate than cover though and Undertaker eventually sits up. That’s fine with Diesel as he hits a second Jackknife but still won’t cover, allowing Undertaker to get up and grab him by the throat. That earns Undertaker a belly to back suplex but he pops up for a bad looking chokeslam. Undertaker plants Diesel with the Tombstone for the pin at 16:37 to make it 5-0.

Rating: B. Diesel was on his way out for WCW but he was actually having better matches every month right before he left. This was by far the best Undertaker Wrestlemania match so far as they were beating the tar out of each other. It’s nice to see Undertaker actually in some trouble instead of just destroying people for a change and Diesel gave him a great challenge. This was much better than I was expecting and a great big man fight.

Ultimate Warrior is on America Online.

Goldust and Piper return in their cars and fight to the ring with Goldust getting the better of it. Another low blow has Piper in trouble and now it’s time for Goldust to strip him. Piper’s bad leg is wrapped around the post but it just seems to fire him up even more. Goldust goes to kiss him but punches Piper in the face instead. That’s fine with Piper as he crotches Goldust on top, only to have Goldust kiss him. Piper will have none of that and he hammers away before grabbing Goldust between the legs. Now it’s time for a spanking, followed by Piper stripping Goldust down to some S&M lingerie to finally end it.

Piper’s son Colt comes in to celebrate with him.

We look back at the history of Bret vs. Shawn with a focus on both of their (singles) history in the company. Shawn has been rising through the ranks and is looking to fulfill his boyhood dream. We also get a focus on their training style with Shawn learning under high flier Jose Lothario and Bret being taught submissions by his father Stu Hart. This worked very well and summed up the entire idea in about a minute and a half.

Shawn says everyone knows the story and now it’s time for the final chapter.

Bret says he just wants to wake up tomorrow morning with the title.

Gorilla Monsoon is introduced as the new President of the WWF.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Bret is defending and this is a sixty minute Iron Man match, meaning the most falls (pin, submission, countout, disqualification) in the time limit wins. Lothario comes out with no Shawn but he points to the top of the arena for Shawn’s famous zipline entrance into the crowd. That shot of him riding down into the arena was shown on a lot of highlight packages for a very long time. Hebner explains the rules in full, even down to how a countout works, and we’re ready to go.

Feeling out process to start as Shawn grabs some quick takedowns to frustrate Bret just a bit. Bret holds on to a headlock to slow things down as Vince tries to say there are no Bret or Shawn fans but only WWF fans. Lawler is all over him for sounding stupid as this headlock continues. In this case though it makes sense as both guys would want to conserve energy.

Shawn fights up into a top wristlock but Bret reverses into a front facelock. That goes nowhere so Shawn escapes into an armbar. They get to their feet and try to pick up the pace but it’s right back to the mat for more arm cranking on the champ. Bret takes him into the corner for some shots to the ribs but Shawn forearms him in the jaw and headscissors Bret to the floor.

We’re ten minute in and you might think that headscissors would start the second gear but instead it’s right back to the armbar from Shawn. Bret stops to yell at Lothario and the distraction lets Shawn crank on the arm all over again. The hold stays on so long that Vince and Jerry actually talk strategy and analyze the match. Back up and Michaels gets caught in a spinebuster but fights out of a Sharpshooter attempt. They head to the floor and Bret is sent into the timekeeper’s area where a superkick takes the timekeeper’s (who looked a lot like Tony Chimmel) head off.

Back in and Bret grabs a chinlock to slow things down all over again. Shawn FINALLY fights up and hits a hard clothesline but Bret nails one of his own and it’s right back to that chinlock. Another comeback from Shawn includes a dropkick and there’s another armbar. We’re twenty minutes in and this already isn’t boding well. Shawn pulls on the wrist with his foot in Bret’s face before switching to a regular armbar. Good thing too as the fans might have been interested in something different.

Back up and they get a bit more aggressive as Bret’s shoulder is sent into the post. A shoulder breaker and hammerlock slam (shades of the Andersons) have Bret in even more trouble but Shawn isn’t following up. There’s a cross armbreaker on the wrong arm so Shawn quickly switches to the proper version. Shawn switches up to a seated armbar for a good bit until Bret fights up with a Stun Gun for the break. The arm keeps giving him problems though and Shawn sends Bret face first into the buckle. Bret isn’t done yet though as he comes back with the Five Moves of Doom.

For some reason he goes to the top rope and Shawn is ready to catch him, but Bret puts his knee on the back of Shawn’s head and drives him down onto the mat. Shawn comes back with a powerslam for two as there are thirty minutes to go. A slam brings Bret off the top again and a hurricanrana lets Shawn hammer away. That’s one of the first lucha style moves Shawn has used after basically promising to use a bunch of them. Nice little head game there and not something you often see work on Bret.

The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Bret to the floor but Michaels goes to the top and LAUNCHES himself down onto Bret. That was one heck of a dive and always impresses me whenever I see this match. Back in and a PerfectPlex gets two on the champ. We hit a sleeper, which is smart but annoying after everything we’ve sat through here. Bret fights up (the arm injury disappeared a long time ago) and backdrops Shawn WAY over the top for a huge crash. Lothario comes over to check on him but somehow it’s not a countout.

Back in and Bret works on the back with an ax handle and backbreaker. There are twenty minutes left and Bret drops him with a belly to back superplex. We hit the reverse chinlock for a bit until Shawn fights up, only to have Bret throw him to the floor and into Lothario. With fifteen minutes to go, Bret even screams at Jose as he tries to get up and belly to bellys Shawn down for two. That’s rather heelish of him. The yelling, not the suplex.

Shawn’s right hands don’t get him anywhere as Bret counters a rollup by kicking Michaels outside again. This time it’s Bret diving through the ropes to take Shawn down again. Bret is willing to take the countout now but then changes his mind and breaks it up. Lawler: “He’s his own worst enemy! No, not as long as I’m still alive.” Back in and a German suplex gets two for the champ and Shawn can barely stand. He’s still able to slug it out from his knees though, telling Bret to bring it on.

A big headbutt puts Shawn down but Bret can’t follow up. After a few shakes of his head, Bret grabs another reverse chinlock and we have ten minutes to go. Shawn fights up yet again but it’s a double clothesline to reset things all over again. There’s a superplex from Bret as Vince declares it over at the six minute mark. He’s wrong on both counts as not only does it not get a fall but there were nearly seven minutes left.

Shawn kicks Bret in the face to block a Sharpshooter so Hart has to settle for a half crab instead. Unfortunately Shawn is right next to the ropes for the save and we’ve got five minutes left. Bret dives into a boot and both guys are down again. Shawn comes back with a nice dropkick to send Bret into the corner and there’s the Irish whip for Bret’s chest first buckle bump. Four minutes left and Shawn forearms into the nipup (which the camera misses) as it’s time for a comeback. Lawler: “Michaels has just gotten his nineteenth wind!”

With three minutes left, Shawn gets two off a top rope ax handle. The top rope elbow gets the same and Shawn plants him with a gutwrench powerbomb. He goes up with two minutes left and a moonsault press gets another near fall. A middle rope hurricanrana gets the same and Shawn is winded. With a minute left, Shawn goes up top but misses a dropkick and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. Bret cranks back on it but the time limit expires at 1:00:00.

We’re not done yet though as Bret goes to leave, only to have Monsoon make a ruling that we’re getting sudden death because THERE MUST BE A WINNER. Bret is ticked and starts hammering away on the back but Shawn jumps over him in the corner and hits Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere. Everyone (including me when I was watching live) jumps to their feet but Shawn can’t follow up. Both guys stagger to their feet and another superkick gives Shawn the first fall and the title at 1:01:50.

Rating: B-. This is a really tricky one to grade but the first twenty minutes ruin whatever else they could have had here. It’s just a bunch of laying around in rest holds, which may make sense but that doesn’t mean it’s entertaining. This would have been much better off as a regular match running about forty minutes as it increases drama and lets you believe that something might happen at any given moment.

The match is fondly remembered and it’s certainly not bad, but it’s definitely nowhere near a classic. Allegedly neither guy wanted to job multiple times to the other and it caused the match to be a bunch of waiting around for the first and decisive fall, which made for a dull match until the last five minutes. Unfortunately that’s the case with almost all Iron Man matches and it certainly happened here too. Good match, but not as great as it’s hyped up to be.

Bret is all ticked off and leaves, not to be seen for over seven months. Vince gets in the great line of “the boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels.” Shawn is stunned but finally celebrates like you knew he was going to do.

A highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. This was a one match show but the Diesel vs. Undertaker match was more than enough to help push it up to a higher level. This was still a bad time for the company but they were smart enough to go with a new direction. Shawn’s success as champion would be hit or miss on his best day but there was no question that this was the right move at the time. It’s not a great show, but when nearly half of it is spent on an entertaining enough match, the show is a success.

Ratings Comparison

Camp Cornette vs. Yokozuna/Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Diesel

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

I’m kind of stunned that the Iron Man has stayed consistent.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/19/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-12-one-really-long-match-and-not-much-else/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/21/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xii-grabbing-the-brass-ring/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XI
Date: April 2, 1995
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,305
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is one of the dark Wrestlemanias in that it was a very bad time for the company. That being said, the show was very well received and wound up being kind of a saving grace for the WWF. The main events are Diesel defending the title against Shawn (shocking I know) and Bam Bam Bigelow vs. NFL Hall of Famer (not at this point though) Lawrence Taylor. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from every Wrestlemania. That’s a nice idea, especially for back then when you can do this in 90 seconds. Today it would take way too long. Apparently Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy and others are starring in this show. Good to know indeed.

A special Olympian sings America the Beautiful. Nothing wrong with that.

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

I don’t remember if Allied Powers was their official name but it’s Luger/British Bulldog. The Brothers are whatever name you best know the Harris Brothers by, which is most likely the DOA. The timing of this redo is perfect, as their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently Zeb Colter, manager of Jack Swagger. It’s a big brawl to start and the good guys hit stereo powerslams to take over. Bulldog and we’ll say Jacob (partner of Eli) start and there’s the delayed vertical after only a few seconds.

Off to a headlock by the Brit as Vince sounds like he’s in an auditorium for some reason. The Brothers take over with heel power moves and it’s off to Eli for a side slam. A double big boot from the twins puts Bulldog right back down but Bulldog starts firing off right hands. With the referee holding the Bulldog back, the Brothers pull a switch but they switch back just a few seconds later. That’s some high quality leadership there Zeb.

We’ll say Jacob takes too much time on a middle rope elbow so the British guy moves. Hot tag brings in Luger and house is cleaned. There’s a powerslam and the steel forearm smash gets two. Zebekiah interferes and the twins switch again, allowing Eli to kick out of the forearm which didn’t hit him. Not that it matters as British hits a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere. Not that he was legal or anything but who cares?

Rating: C-. This match uh…..exists I guess. Seriously that’s all I’ve got here. It wasn’t a good match or anything but I’ve seen worse. That’s the problem here: it’s so average that it’s barely worth talking about. Luger would be gone in a few months back to WCW, which was the best move as he was doing stuff like this for the next six months or so. Nothing to see here at all and a really odd choice for a match and especially the opener.

Apparently that win deserves fireworks. If that’s the high point of the show, we’re in BIG trouble.

Zebekiah demands justice because the wrong Blu got pinned.

Nicholas Turturro is supposed to interview Pamela Anderson but we have audio difficulties.

Lawler explains football: it’s just like the post office. “Eleven guys spend an hour trying to move a small object 100 yards.” Andy Griffith he is not.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett, the champion, has a manager here named The Roadie who would become Jesse James, making this the ultimate battle of the double initials. This is a rematch from the Rumble where Ramon got counted out but agreed to come back in where he lost the title when his knee gave out. The 1-2-3 Kid is with Razor to counteract the Roadie. Razor decks Jeff to start and the champion immediately heads to the floor. That’s nice of him as it allows Razor’s pyro to go off.

A big right hand takes Jarrett down and Razor clotheslines him out to the floor for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip out of the corner by the champion is blocked by a right hand. Ramon keeps up his barrage of punches by faking Jarrett out and punching him even more. Roadie bails Jarrett out of the Razor’s Edge and the champion regroups a bit on the floor.

Back inside and Roadie cheats a bit with some choking, only to have Jeff miss a charge and land on him. All Razor so far. Back in again and Jarrett hits a swinging neckbreaker and some dropkicks to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before things speed up with both guys getting near falls. Jarrett hooks a sleeper that lasts even less time than the chinlock so Jeff punches him down and hooks another chinlock.

Razor escapes again via a suplex but both guys are down. They get up at the same time and collide to put them down again. That’s a bit of overkill but whatever. Again they get up and a double punch puts them down for a third time. Ramon comes back with more punches and they actually stay up for once. A fallaway slam gets two and there’s the discus punch to put Jarrett down again. The Kid tries to interfere but gets kicked into the barricade.

Razor loads up his middle rope bulldog but misses and lands on his bad knee. The Figure Four goes on and Razor is in trouble. After some interference from Roadie, Ramon turns the hold over but Jeff quickly lets it go. Ramon hits a quick belly to back superplex to put Jarret down and it’s time for the Edge, which draws in Roadie for the DQ.

Rating: C. This match was mainly punches but Razor was so insanely over the he carried the crowd. Jarrett was pretty dull at this point but he would reach all new levels of dull later on in WCW. Razor would finally get the title back in a ladder match on a house show in May, but it would only last for two days. The match here was ok but nothing worth seeing. It was better than the first match though.

Post match Jarrett puts the Kid in the Figure Four.

Jarrett says that was perfectly good conduct for a champion.

Turturro is with Jenny McCarthy and nothing of note is said. Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be seen but Shawn pops in to say nothing is wrong. Team DiBiase is behind them planning for later. Sid says Diesel is going down tonight.

King Kong Bundy vs. Undertaker

This is part of the never ending Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Corporation feud. The Corporation stole the Urn at the Rumble and tonight is about revenge and getting the Urn back. Before Taker comes out, Todd Pettingil talks to some football player. The referee is a Major League umpire who is moonlighting because MLB is on strike. Undertaker stares at DiBiase before the bell and Ted drops the Urn.

Taker pounds away to start and hits Young School but he can’t drop Bundy. The jumping clothesline finally puts him down but Bundy knocks him over the top to the floor in retaliation. Taker lands on his feet right in front of DiBiase and takes the Urn back from him. Paul Bearer gets the Urn back but Kama Mustafa (Godfather) comes out to steal the Urn back. This is like a bad comedy.

Taker tries to stop the theft but Bundy jumps the Dead Man, allowing Kama to get it. He says he’s going to melt it down and make it a necklace. Bundy pounds on Taker a bit and slams him down before getting two off a knee drop. We hit the fat man chinlock fot a bit before Taker fights up, only to get caught by the Avalanche in the corner. No selling is done today, and it’s a slam and the jumping clothesline to make Taker 4-0.

Rating: D. This was nothing but a formality for Undertaker as we continue the Urn stealing story for even longer. Bundy was worthless here, other than forgotten star power. This feud kept going and never got interesting at all since DiBiase’s team was all lame power guys. Nothing to see here and probably Undertaker’s least interesting Mania match ever.

Turturro still can’t find Pamela Anderson. Instead he finds Lawrence Taylor’s All-Pro team of football players who are here to counter the Million Dollar Team. One of these guys is Mongo, future US Champion. Turturro moves on to find Bob Backlund playing chess with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Backlund goes nuts when he hears Anderson is missing because he has no idea who she is.

Thomas (a 12 year old actor from Home Improvement at the time) checkmates him so Backlund accuses him of taking advantage of his elders. Backlund asks him three questions (who was the 34^th President, what is the capital of Honduras, and who is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court) which Thomas answers correctly. Backlund: “THAT’S THE TROUBLE WITH YOUTH TODAY!!! THEY THINK THEY KNOW EVERTHING!!!” Crazy Backlund was GOLD.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/??? vs. Smoking Gunns

Owen introduces Yokozuna as his mystery partner. The Gunns are defending here and say they’ll win. Owen and Billy start things off with Hart trying to speed things up. That goes badly for him as Billy slaps him in the face and brings in Bart to work on the arm. Owen fights back though and brings in Yoko who misses an elbow drop. Back to Owen as we’re firmly in the Colossal Connection formula (Owen does the wrestling, Yoko comes in for a few seconds to destroy whoever he’s fighting).

The Gunns hit a double legsweep on Hart and a double flapjack gets two. Owen finally escapes a backdrop attempt and brings in Yoko. Billy gets taken down and sat on, giving the foreigners control. Off to a nerve hold which hopefully doesn’t last as long as the ones last year did. After we kill a minute or so in the hold, Owen loads up a missile dropkick but hits his partner by mistake. There’s the hot tag to Bart and house is cleaned, but Billy walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Banzai Drop hits but Bart breaks up the pin. Not that it really matters though as Owen covers Billy for the pin and the title, Owen’s first in the company.

Rating: C-. Another decent but lackluster match here which is the theme of this show. The Gunns losing was definitely the right call as Owen and Yoko made for dominant champions for several months. Other than that though, the match was boring stuff overall. Owen finally getting a title was a good moment though.

Bam Bam Bigelow is in the back and we look at the history between him and Taylor. At the Rumble, Bigelow lost in the finals of a tag title tournament and Taylor laughed at him. Bigelow shoved him and Wrestlemania was made. Bigelow doesn’t have anything significant to say here. For some reason Todd Pettingil has headphones on here, presumably because of the audio difficulties. Apparently Lawler accidentally kicked some cords out and the commentary had to be re-recorded later. Maybe that’s what’s going on.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Bret pounds away to start and sends Backlund hard into the corner. An early Sharpshooter attempt is blocked so Bret drops an elbow. Bret keeps pounding on him and Piper asks if Backlund quits way too often. Another Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so here’s a Figure Four by Bret instead. Backlund turns it over but Bret lets go before it goes badly for him.

Off to a leg lock by Hart as the match slows down a bit. We hear about Bret hating Japanese people which was an angle that didn’t go anywhere. Backlund grabs at Bret’s face to escape before finally just kicking Hart in the face. Bob starts going after the arm but Bret avoids the chickenwing. Instead it’s a Fujiwara Armbar and the fans are getting restless. Bob pounds on the arm even more with an armbar as Piper asks Bret if he gives up for about the dozenth time.

Bret finally fights back and hits the backbreaker and middle rope elbow. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work but Bret misses a charge into the corner, going shoulder first into the post. Bob hooks the chickenwing but Bret reverses into one of his own. Backlund yells incoherently which apparently counts as a submission, giving Bret the win.

Rating: D+. I love the original version of this but the rematch didn’t work at all. For one thing, a match about making someone quit with guys of this caliber should probably be longer than ten minutes. On top of that, it was really dull stuff. This didn’t work at all and even Bret has said it’s one of his least favorite matches ever.

Backlund says he saw the light and looks crazier than usual.

Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be found so changes have been made. Ok then.

Diesel says something that I can’t understand because the audio keeps messing up. This is getting REALLY annoying. The audio is fixed long enough for Diesel to say nothing of note.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas comes out to be timekeeper for the title match. Turturro is ring announcer because we haven’t seen him enough tonight. At least he seems excited to be here though.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and Jenny McCarthy comes out with Shawn. Pam Anderson comes out with Diesel to tick Shawn off, even though I thought McCarthy looked better. Shawn tries to jump Diesel but gets backdropped to the floor so Anderson can come in and pose. We actually get going and Shawn is dropped by a right hand. Diesel beals him out of the corner and Shawn is in trouble early.

A big backdrop puts Shawn down and Diesel throws him out to the floor. It’s time to stall until Sid distracts Diesel. That doesn’t work either as Diesel blasts Shawn coming in. Shawn pounds away in the corner but gets shoved away like he’s not even there. A suplex puts Shawn down and Diesel easily throws him out to the floor. Sid’s latest attempt at a distraction lets Shawn get in a few punches and gain brief control.

Diesel is thrown to the floor but Shawn skins the cat to stay alive. A BIG dive off the top takes Diesel down and a baseball slide keeps him down. Shawn tries another baseball slide but Diesel steps to the side, only to accidentally ram himself ribs first into the post. A Sid chant breaks out as Shawn hits a running splash off the apron. They get back in as Sid and Hebner get in an argument which goes nowhere.

Shawn stays on the ribs before getting two off a middle rope bulldog. Back to the injured back/ribs of Diesel we go as the fans are behind Shawn now. A top rope elbow hits the back for two. The champ counters a front facelock into a backdrop and there’s a second one. Shawn sends him into the buckle to slow Diesel down again and there’s a sleeper. The champ escapes and hits a corner clothesline followed by Snake Eyes.

We head to the floor for a second time and Diesel wins a quick slugout. Sid tries to interfere and does nothing at all so we head back inside for a superkick. The referee has hurt his ankle (has there ever been a more prone to injury referee than Earl Hebner? He’s ALWAYS getting hurt) so the kick only gets two. Sid rips a buckle pad off but Diesel suplexes Shawn down before he can do anything about it.

They’re both down now as Hebner’s ankle is strong enough for him to stand up now. Shawn goes to the middle rope for something resembling a dropkick but jumps into a side slam. That was a cool looking catch. Diesel still can’t follow up because of the ribs but he manages to scoop Shawn’s legs out and launch him into (the buckle below) the exposed buckle. A big boot and the Jackknife retain the title as Anderson asks someone if she’s supposed to be clapping now.

Rating: B. It’s good but somehow this won Match of the Year in PWI. For the life of me I have no idea how as it’s not even Shawn’s best match of the year. The rematch would be MUCH better with a typical David vs. Goliath formula. The lack of such a formula here was weird as Diesel, the 7’0 monster, was the underdog. Shawn would turn face very soon after this.

Diesel celebrates with all the celebrities.

Shawn goes on a rant (calling the superkick Chin Music, perhaps for the first time but I’m not sure) about how the referee being hurt cost him the title.

The Million Dollar Team is introduced for the main event: Bundy, Tatanka, Nikolai Volkoff, Kama, I.R.S. and DiBiase himself. We also get the NFL All-Pro Team: Ken Norton, Chris Speilman, Rickey Jackson, Carl Banks, Steve McMichael and Reggie White.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor

R&B group Salt N Peppa sings What A Man live for Taylor’s entrance. Pat Patterson is guest referee to make sure things go as smoothly as possible. Taylor is a legit NFL superstar so this is an actual big deal as far as celebrities go. There are a TON of reporters and photographers at ringside plus the two teams so it looks like a lumberjack match. Before the bell, Taylor SMACKS Bigelow in the face and we’re ready to go. Oh and Diesel has been training with Taylor. Remember that.

A big forearm immediately puts Bigelow down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. The crowd is losing it over this stuff as Taylor looks GREAT. Back in and a bulldog (decent one too) gets two for Taylor. There’s a hip toss and Bigelow needs a breather. In two minutes, Taylor has already showed more skill and fire than McMichael showed in two and a half years in WCW. Lawrence follows him to the floor and a big brawl almost starts between the teams.

Back in and Bigelow gets in some shots to take over including a headbutt. A falling headbutt misses so Taylor fires off a big forearm to take Bigelow down. Bam Bam pounds him right back down and puts on a Boston crab which almost immediately shifts into a half crab. It breaks down even further into Bigelow just pulling on one leg. Now he just leans on it instead of cranking on it.

Taylor fights up again and hits a suplex of all things to give himself a breather. It’s a quick breather though as Bigelow pounds away even more. There’s Bigelow’s moonsault but he “hurts” his knee in the process. Lawrence kicks out at two (ZERO reaction for the crowd for some reason) and it’s time for a comeback. Bigelow ducks his head so Taylor tries something resembling a suplex that was supposed to be a Jackknife.

Bigelow misses an enziguri but Taylor falls down anyway. The top rope headbutt gets another two and the crowd reacts a bit. Taylor gets his last gasp of energy though and pounds Bigelow in the corner before hitting a pair of big forearms. A third from the middle rope is enough for the shocking upset.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was nothing short of a miracle. Keeping in mind that Taylor had zero experience coming in there, he looked amazing. They didn’t have most of the problems that most celebrity matches have as Taylor looked like he had actual talent instead of looking like he needed someone to walk him through everything. As a regular match this wasn’t much, but all things considered this was great.

Taylor can barely stand up post match and the team has to help him back. DiBiase goes on a rant to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. You often hear how terrible this show is but it really isn’t that bad. It’s terribly boring and uninteresting for the most part, but there are FAR worse shows out there. The other major problem this show has is that it’s a Wrestlemania. If this show was something like In Your House or even Summerslam it wouldn’t have nearly the bad reputation it does. It’s certainly not good or even decent but it’s FAR better than it’s given credit for.

Ratings Comparison

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Smoking Gunns

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Man this show just isn’t fun.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/18/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-11-just-get-it-over-with/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/20/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xi-an-extremely-underrated-show/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

In addition to all the World Title stuff going on, there’s another legendary match on the show and it’s for the Intercontinental Title. Shawn Michaels had been the champion but was suspended over a failed drug test but came back with the title belt. While he was gone, Razor Ramon (now a face and red hot) won the title. The solution was to put both belts above the ring and have a ladder match that would wind up as one of the most influential matches of all time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package on the first Wrestlemania as this is going to be a show heavy on celebrating history.

Vince introduces Little Richard and a choir to sing America the Beautiful. Richard sings a very nice solo version to start but the choir joins him for an encore and it picks up even more.

Jerry and Vince recap the World Title situation as well as Bret vs. Owen. Another piece worth mentioning is from the Royal Rumble when Bret and Owen tried to win the Tag Team Titles but Bret refused to tag out, leading to the mat being stopped due to a leg injury. Owen rightfully snapped and kicked Bret’s knee out, setting up the match here.

For reasons I don’t quite understand, the Fink isn’t doing the ring announcing.

We get the traditional MSG setup with the entrance opposite the hard camera. I’ve always liked that.

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Owen shoves him away off a lockup and immediately celebrates in a funny moment. They hit the mat for a bit and Owen nips up to his feet, meaning it’s time for another celebration. Bret’s waistlock sends Owen to the ropes and he’s not so happy with that one. Owen slaps him in the face and things get serious in a hurry. We get Owen’s signature counter to a wristlock but Bret nips up as well and takes Owen down in an armbar.

A monkey flip sends Owen into the ropes and a clothesline puts him on the floor. This has been back and forth so far but Bret is clearly a step ahead. Back in and Bret returns the slap before going back to the arm. Owen fights up and hits a spinwheel kick as Lawler rants about how the Hart parents lied about Bret protecting Owen when they were kids. A backbreaker sets up a camel clutch on Bret, followed by a belly to belly for two. Vince: “YES! NO!”

Owen grabs a very nice German suplex for two as Bret’s back and neck continue to take a beating. There’s a tombstone to Bret but he avoids a top rope headbutt from halfway across the ring. Bret comes back with the Five Moves of Doom but Owen enziguris him back down. Neither guy can get a Sharpshooter so Bret sends him to the floor for a dive, only to come up holding his knee. Yeah I’m sure.

Owen goes after the knee and my goodness it might be legit for a change. A few leg locks don’t get Bret anywhere so Owen simplifies it with a Figure Four in the middle of the ring. The hold is finally rolled over into the corner and Bret is up with a hard whip to send Owen chest first into the corner (a signature spot that Bret usually takes). Bret gets a nice piledriver for two and an even better looking superplex gets a delayed near fall.

With nothing else working, Owen kicks him low and puts on the Sharpshooter as Lawler is ecstatic. Bret kicks him over and tries his own Sharpshooter but Owen is right in front of the ropes. Back up and Bret raises a boot in the corner to set up a victory roll but Owen drops forward into a rollup for the completely clean pin at 20:21.

Rating: A+. This is widely considered to be the best opening match in company history and it’s very difficult to put up much of an argument. They were going back and forth for over twenty minutes out there and it never once gets boring or uneventful. This had a great build and Owen is proven exactly right as he jumps out of his brother’s shadow and becomes a main event player.

It’s a great sign when there’s almost nothing to make fun of and it’s just one awesome move and sequence after another. Absolute masterpiece here and something that definitely needs to be seen to be appreciated because this is just a great wrestling match. That’s the right word: wrestling. These two were wrestling each other and it worked the entire way through.

Owen celebrates in the back and talks about how this is a great moment in his career. I could watch Owen’s giddy celebrations all day.

Wrestlemania II was innovative (not really) and had a battle royal.

Here’s the President of the Hair Club for Men who presents the Fink with a hairpiece. This didn’t work and didn’t last, which is probably best for everyone involved.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink the Clown

Bigelow and Luna are evil and Dink is a miniature version of Doink because just turning the big one good wasn’t enough of a waste of potential. Bigelow runs Doink over to start and scores with a dropkick. He misses a backsplash though and Doink hammers away without even taking his jacket off. It’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in to take away the awesomeness that was Bam Bam Bigelow beating up a clown.

Luna chokes Dink on the middle rope but misses a charge, allowing Dink to drop an elbow for two. She misses a really high splash though and it’s off to Doink vs. Bigelow with the Bam Bam sitting on his chest. Doink comes back with a jumping DDT but misses a top rope seated senton, setting up Bigelow’s top rope headbutt for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: D-. The silence from the crowd tells you almost everything there is to know. It’s hard to get a New York crowd to not care about wrestling but these four managed to do it. This is the definition of the cartoon style feud that dominated the era and a good example of how stupid it was. It’s not a horrible match but it’s totally uninteresting, which is even worse in a lot of ways.

Bigelow can’t get his hands on Dink and the clowns bail.

And here’s a Bill Clinton impersonator, who Vince treats like the real thing.

Wrestlemania III was a really big show as well. For once they’re right on these things.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Yokozuna hurt Crush last year and Crush blamed Savage for never coming to see him in the hospital. Crush attacked him, drawing Savage out of the broadcasting booth and back into the ring for one last run. This is falls count anywhere but it’s more like falls don’t count in the ring, as you win by getting a fall and your opponent not being able to get back inside the ring in sixty seconds, making it something like a prototype last man standing match.

The brawl is on in the aisle and Crush drops him throat first across the barricade (a move which helped start the feud) for a quick pin. Savage is back inside though (despite Mr. Fuji hitting him in the back with the Japanese flag) and the sixty second clock is already proving to be a bad idea. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe for some shots to the ribs but stops to get some salt, only to have Savage knock it into his face. An ax handle and the elbow have Crush in trouble but Savage is smart enough to take him to the floor for the pin.

Crush is out cold so Fuji douses him with water for the save. Back in and Crush backdrops him over the top for that awesome looking landing that only Savage can do. Savage posts him head first and they fight into the crowd with Crush kicking him in the face. They fight backstage with Savage throwing him into a door for the pin, but this time he gets smart and ties Crush’s foot up with an electrical cord and handing him upside down. To make it even better, the rope gives way and Crush falls down but it’s enough to give Savage the win at 9:44.

Rating: C+. This is a tricky one as there’s a cool idea here but the clock thing was stupid. Look at Savage hitting the elbow but having to throw Crush to the floor for the pin. It looks horribly awkward and doesn’t feel like they’re really mad at each other. The ending was smart though and it was a violent enough fight but this would have been much better under the modern last man standing rules and with some more time.

The Clinton impersonator isn’t funny but he does a decent impression. I.R.S. is here to congratulate him on raising the taxes.

Video on Fan Fest, a precursor to Axxess.

Savage celebrates with some fans and we see his title win at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

No story here. Blayze is defending and brought the title out of retirement back in December. It’s the same Lelani Kai (in case you thought it was a different one with the same name) from Wrestlemania I challenging and she runs the champ over to start. A headbutt puts Blayze down but she comes back with a standing hurricanrana for two. Some suplexes get two each as Lawler thinks Blayze looks like a horse. Back up and Blayze grabs her signature German suplex to retain at 3:25.

Rating: D-. Kai was nothing more than a name out of the past while Blayze more or less was women’s wrestling in America at this point. The title would be only be around about another year and a half before being dropped into a trashcan on Monday Nitro, putting it out of commission for several more years.

Roddy Piper put out Morton Downey Jr.’s cigarette with a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Rhonda Shear, the definition of a ditzy blonde, is in the back getting his picture taken with Shawn Michaels when a pretty drunk looking Burt Reynolds comes in to steal her.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Men on a Mission

Men on a Mission, a pair of fat rappers (Mabel, who is 6’10 and 500lbs, and Mo with manager Oscar) who wear bright purple and gold, are challenging. The Quebecers are Jacques (Rougeau/the Mountie) and Pierre (Carl Ouellet, a French Canadian wrestler) and are managed by Johnny Polo (better known as Raven).

Mabel gets double teamed to start but the big double clothesline drops the champs. Mo’s cross body gets two on Pierre as Lawler talks about how huge Mabel is. The Quebecers realize that Mo is their only option so it’s time for the choking. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Mo for two before doing the same thing over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Mo’s running flip attack puts Pierre down and it’s Mabel coming in to near silence.

The champs hurt their backs as they try a double suplex but actually make the second attempt work. The Cannonball (assisted swanton bomb) gets two and Mabel does the power kickout. Back up and Mabel spinwheel kicks Pierre down to set up their assisted splash (Mo gets on the middle rope and drives Mabel down). Jacques fails at a save attempt but Mabel splashes Pierre on the floor for a countout at 7:43.

Rating: D. The match could have been worse but that’s a horrible ending to a not great match. I get that you didn’t want to put the titles on Men on a Mission, but the Headshrinkers were getting them in about a month so why not swap them out and give us the title change here? It would be better than on a random episode of Raw. Men on a Mission were a good enough fun tag team but that doesn’t mean I want to see them in major spots on the biggest show of the year.

Wrestlemania VI’s moment is the only moment you would expect it to be.

We recap Luger vs. Yokozuna. Luger turned face last 4^th of July when he answered and won a bodyslam challenge issued by Yokozuna on board the USS Intrepid. This led to a long running campaign called the Lex Express, leading to Luger’s shot at Summerslam. Luger won by countout and had to win the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. He has the momentum on his side and knows he can beat Yokozuna but Luger is known as a huge choke artist so Yokozuna is probably still favored.

Rhonda Shear is guest timekeeper and Donnie Walhberg of the New Kids on the Block is guest ring announcer.

WWF World Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna has Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette in his corner. To make it even more interesting, Mr. Perfect is introduced as a surprise guest referee. Luger is the All American boy here but Lawler says the real American way is Arabian oil going into Japanese cars. Some right hands stagger Yokozuna but a big clothesline stops Luger in mid charge. A forearm puts Yokozuna on the floor but Mr. Perfect (in a referee shirt and referee pants which look like pajamas) doesn’t let Luger follow up. Luger tries a slam and can’t get it over this early, allowing Yokozuna to hammer away with the big clubbing blows to the back.

Yokozuna stops to pull off a turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold on Luger as Cornette demands that the fans cut out the USA chants. Luger fights up after being in the hold for over two minutes but Yokozuna runs him over and even threatens Mr. Perfect. It’s back to the nerve hold again as the match has already died a slow death. They’re just laying there in the hold as the crowd gets more and more annoyed. Yokozuna finally throws Luger to the floor after three and a half minutes out of four were spent on that single hold. Back in and the hold goes right back on because Yokozuna needs to rest even more.

Luger is just laying on the mat as Yokozuna has his hand on his neck. The hold doesn’t even look good but it’s stayed on for the better part of five minutes now. Luger fights up again and sends Yokozuna into the exposed pad before pulling off the slam. The big forearm knocks Yokozuna out cold and Luger stops to beat up the managers but accidentally shoves Perfect in the process, drawing a DQ at 14:40. Remember last year when Luger blindsided Perfect after their match? Well Perfect certainly does.

Rating: F. This match wasn’t even fifteen minutes long and nearly five of that was spent in a rest hold. There’s no excuse for something like that as Yokozuna has shown that he can stay in an active match for long stretches. The ending was fine but the bulk of the match just crippled everything they had.

One other note: there’s a famous story that the ending was changed due to Luger shooting his mouth off in a bar saying that he was going to win the match and Vince changed the plans as a result. This makes no sense if you can see the glaring hole in the story: what else was Luger supposed to say? “Yeah I’m losing at Wrestlemania. It sucks but there’s nothing I can do about it.” Wrestlers always promise they’re going to win matches. It’s basic storytelling, but I’m supposed to believe that the story was changed because Luger stuck to the script? That doesn’t hold up and never will.

The fans are MAD over that ending and I can’t say I blame them. Nearly a third of a fifteen minute match was spent with Yokozuna rubbing Luger’s neck, which didn’t even go anywhere, like so many nerve holds don’t. This is Wrestlemania. The fans should be able to expect more from the World Title match.

In the back, Perfect defends his decision to a screaming Luger. This never went anywhere due to Perfect’s back flaring up again.

Wrestlemania VII saw Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth reunite one final time. That’s the moment they should show, but instead we see the blindfold match. Monsoon: “It was like the blind leading the blind.”

Harvey Wippleman comes out to yell at the Fink for his stupid haircut. It didn’t even help his stupid looks. Fink gets physical (which eventually set up a series of tuxedo matches between the two of them. These things should never be spoken of again.) but Harvey’s newest protege Adam Bomb comes out to grab the helpless announcer. Cue Earthquake of all people and it’s time for a match.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

A powerslam sets up the Earth Splash for the pin on Bomb at 35 seconds. Well that was pointless.

Cornette and Yokozuna laugh at Luger for blowing it again. They’re more than ready for Bret. They saw that knee injury and Yokozuna is coming after it like a shark. The feeding frenzy will begin. It’s still bizarre to see Cornette raving like a madman in the WWF.

Wrestlemania VIII’s moment is just Undertaker’s entrance. His opponent isn’t even mentioned.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

I really don’t think the ladder match needs much of an introduction. Ring announcer Bill Dunn: “The following contest has no rules!” Then he explains how you win the match, which sounds an awful lot like rules. Razor is officially the only champion coming in and Shawn has Diesel in his corner. Feeling out process to start until Razor counters a wristlock into a chokeslam. A neckbreaker doesn’t have much effect on Razor and they head to the floor where Diesel clotheslines Razor down. That’s enough for an ejection and it’s one on one.

They head back inside for more fighting as the ladder continues to loom at ringside. Shawn fires off right hands but Razor loads up a quick Razor’s Edge, only to get backdropped over the top and onto the exposed concrete. Razor comes up holding his elbow and now it’s time for the ladder. Razor is up for the save but Shawn baseball slides the ladder into him to take over again. He drives the ladder down into the ribs instead of climbing though and it’s time for violence.

That bores Shawn so he throws the ladder at Razor instead. Shawn goes up the ladder but Razor makes the save, pulling Shawn’s tights down at the same time. Razor is still in trouble though as Shawn splashes him off the ladder to stay on the bad ribs. It’s so nice to see even some basic psychology in a match that would become defined by all the big spots. Razor pulls Shawn off the ladder to send him into the top rope, putting both guys down again.

After a cool looking overhead shot, Shawn sets up the ladder in the corner but Razor whips him in to send Shawn crashing down to the floor. A catapult sends Shawn face first into the ladder up against the apron and it’s time for Razor to climb. This time though it’s Shawn coming off the top to break it up, only to have the ladder fall on him in an even bigger crash. Both guys climb but crash back down with the ladder bending in the process, which would help play a roll in their rematch at Summerslam the next year.

Shawn dropkicks Ramon off the ladder and wisely shoves the ladder onto Razor. For some reason Ramon is right back up, only to eat a superkick. We get one of the most famous spots of the match as Shawn rides the ladder off the top and down onto Razor for a big crash. Shawn goes up again but Razor shoulders the ladder down, sending Shawn into the ropes, tying his foot up in the process. Razor climbs up and pulls down the belts for the win and the undisputed title at 18:49.

Rating: A+. It’s the ladder match and I think that’s all I need to say. This is one of the most perfectly executed matches of all time and it’s almost impossible to find anything bad about it. Both guys were made better here with Shawn getting to showcase how great he really could be. His rise to the top was coming and there was almost nothing that could stop him. This more than holds up over time and deserves the accolades it deserves as a perfect match. It may not be the most eye popping spectacle ever, but it was a perfectly done match on the biggest stage and it doesn’t get any better than that.

Rick Martel, the Headshrinkers, Jeff Jarrett and I.R.S. argue over who is the captain for the ten man tag so the match is postponed until tomorrow night on Raw. That’s one match canceled and you have to believe one cut horribly short. At least we got that epic nerve hold though.

Ted DiBiase tries to bribe Clinton.

Wrestlemania IX’s moment is Fuji throwing salt at Bret. The subsequent title changes are never mentioned.

Music video on Bret and Yokozuna’s paths to the main event with Bret’s set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Ring announcer Burt Reynolds introduces actress Jennie Garth as guest timekeeper. The special guest referee here: Roddy Piper, who may or may not want revenge on Bret for Wrestlemania VIII.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Bret is challenging and limps to the ring to sell the knee injury from earlier in the night. Yokozuna jumps him before he can get in the ring though and Bret is in early trouble. A big headbutt puts Bret down and it’s time for choking. Bret fights up with some right hands and a headbutt to put Yokozuna down but he can’t follow up. The champ gets taken down for two but Cornette pulls Piper to the floor. That earns Cornette a right hand to the face as Yokozuna gets back up and rakes Bret’s eyes to take over.

There’s the big legdrop but Yokozuna throws him outside instead of covering. Back in and Bret avoids a charge in the corner and gets two off a middle rope bulldog. That’s the third time he’s used that move in two matches against Yokozuna but what else is he supposed to do against someone that big? Bret tries to go the middle rope but dives into a belly to belly. It’s time for the Banzai Drop but Yokozuna falls backwards (with no contact from Hart) and hits his head to give Bret the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: D+. The results helps but what was that ending? We know Bret can get him in the Sharpshooter or at least do some offensive moves to him but their big solution is to have Bret do absolutely nothing and get the pin? It doesn’t make Bret look like the conqueror but rather just like someone who was in the right place at the right time. This felt like a bigger deal than their last match and it was a more enjoyable moment as a result, even if they had another bad ending. Either way though, at least Bret is champion again.

A bunch of people including Savage, Ramon, Monsoon, Vince himself and the celebrities come out to celebrate with Bret but Owen shows up at the entrance to shake his head at Bret. He asks what about him and stares his still limping brother down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Much like last year, the two best matches carry this show as far as it needs to go and the rest is just gravy. With two masterpieces and Bret winning the title that he deserves back to end the show, it’s almost impossible to call this anything less than very good. Unfortunately the rest of the show doesn’t support the top shelf stuff, but the rest of this show was just so strong that it carries everything else with it. This is one of the most well received shows of all time and it’s really not hard to see why with every major match hitting on at one major cylinder.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F

2013 Redo: F+

2015 Redo: D

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: F

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: B+

It’s Wrestlemania X. This is classic viewing whether you’re a huge wrestling fan or some loser on a night shift.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/17/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-10-maybe-the-best-mania-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/19/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-x-how-can-you-not-love-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is one of the weakest cards the series has ever seen. Nothing on the show feels important with the main event of Bret Hart defending the WWF World Title against Royal Rumble winner Yokozuna feeling lukewarm at best. The second biggest match is Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake challenging Money Inc. for the Tag Team Titles. Like I said: not the strongest card. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla Monsoon is the host this year, meaning he’ll be on screen for less than five minutes. Like everyone else, Monsoon is in a toga because it’s a toga party. I’m still not sure who thought this was a good idea.

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Shawn is defending after winning the title in November and has Luna Vachon, a rather scary woman with several tattoos on her face, trailing behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated and Sherri follows him out but it’s not clear if they’re associated. Heenan: “She’s here to beg Shawn Michaels to take her back!” Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” Shawn goes for the leg to start but Tatanka kicks him away a few times as Heenan recaps the history here, roughly three minutes after JR did so.

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Off to an armbar from Tatanka as Shawn apparently came into this with a bad shoulder. Back up and Shawn tries a clothesline but hurts his own arm in the process and it’s right back to the armbar. A charge sends Shawn’s shoulder into the post again and we hit the third armbar in a row. There’s a shoulder breaker but Tatanka doesn’t know how to follow up (Savage: “I would have covered him right there!”) so he goes to the top and dives into a superkick (still not a finish).

Shawn throws him to the floor and hits a great looking clothesline from the apron. It’s time to focus on the women for a bit with Shawn yelling at Sherri, only to turn around and get two off a swinging neckbreaker. Things settle down with a chinlock before Shawn starts firing off left hands as the arm is suddenly fine. Shawn tries a bad looking victory roll for two before going up top again for another victory roll which is countered into an electric chair (they just repeated the spot which always exposes too much).

Tatanka goes on the warpath (his version of Hulking Up) and starts the chops, followed by a catapult into the post as Shawn is now channeling Mr. Perfect. Shawn dives into a powerslam for two and they roll to the floor as the fans chant for Sherri. Heenan doesn’t understand why they’re doing that but his questioning gets cut off as Shawn pulls the referee to the floor. The Papoose To Go (fall away slam) knocks Shawn silly but he’s been disqualified at 18:08.

Rating: B. That’s a very frustrating ending but it makes sense as they wanted to keep the title on Shawn but didn’t want to end Tatanka’s undefeated streak, leaving them with few alternatives. Still though, this was one heck of a match though a bit longer than it needed to be. The shoulder stopped being a thing about halfway through, even though Shawn stopped selling as he was known to do. Tatanka just didn’t have anything past the basics but the fans got behind him due to his charisma, which is all you need most of the time.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Recent arrivals the Steiner Brothers say this is their first Wrestlemania but it’s going to be one to be remembered and they’ll make Julius Caesar proud.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Things settle down as JR breaks some news about Luna attacking Sherri in the first aid station. Heenan won’t go back to check for an update because the camel is back there. Heenan: “Luna probably worked over the camel too.” Samu’s head cracks off the post and Scott dropkicks Fatu for good measure. Back up and Samu tries a hot shot but drops Scott face first over the top in a sick looking landing.

The Headshrinkers’ manager Afa CRACKS Scott in the back with his staff to keep him in trouble. Fatu’s middle rope headbutt gets two and Scott is almost out of it. The bad beating continues as Fatu sends him into the post, FINALLY drawing Rick over to check on his brother. Back in and Scott makes the eternal mistake of hitting a Samoan in the head, earning him a superkick. Yeah there’s really no defending that. You don’t hit a Samoan in the head.

Samu comes in and rakes the eyes as JR tries to call the match while Heenan argues with Savage. The fans chant for the Steiners as something like the Demolition Decapitator gets two on Scott. Back up and it’s a double clothesline as the announcers argue over what states border Oklahoma. Samu misses a headbutt and Scott finally tags off to Rick for some house cleaning and Samoan suplexing.

JR calls him Dog Face (short for Dog Face Gremlin, Rick’s nickname. That brings up a good sign for Ross. Back in 1993, not everyone would watch both companies, meaning some fans might not realize that JR has called Steiner Brothers matches before. On his first match he knows Rick’s nickname, making him look like he’s done his homework) as he beats up both Headshrinkers but a double headbutt drops Rick with ease.

A double Stroke of all things sets up what looks to be a Doomsday Device but Rick belly to bellys Fatu out of the air for an INSANE counter. I’ve never seen that before or since and it still looked great. Scott tags himself in but eats another superkick, only to come back with a bad Frankensteiner for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: A-. I like this match more every time I watch it as they were beating the fire out of each other here with some of the stiffest shots you’ll find. The Steiners always worked stiff and the Headshrinkers could go step for step with them. Some of the spots here were amazing with that suplex from the shoulders being a major highlight. Awesome, hard hitting match here which never broke down into a brawl.

Call the Hotline!

Doink the Clown (very evil) has desecrated a bust of Julius Caesar but calls it art. We see Doink attacking Crush with a false arm (with Vince shouting that he took his own arm out of the socket until Savage point out that it’s obviously a cast to shut him up) to set up their match tonight. Doink thinks Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

The Clown makes the eternal mistake of going up top and jumping straight down feet first, allowing Crush to raise a boot and take over again. Crush clotheslines him to the floor and Doink tries to hide under the ring. Amazingly enough a clown isn’t very good at keeping out of sight. Crush drags him back inside but the referee gets bumped.

It’s time for the head vice (Crush’s finisher where he squeezes his opponent’s head like a vice, making it a very appropriate name) but a second Doink pops up with the arm cast to knock Crush silly. The second Doink hides under the ring and the referee wakes up just in time to count the pin on Crush at 8:27.

Rating: D. And the really good match streak ends at two. This was a bizarre choice for a story as Crush would seem to be ready for a big push but he loses to Doink at Wrestlemania. Now to be fair, Doink is a very interesting character when he’s still all evil. Once he turned face as he was destined to do, there was no way he could be anything more than a joke. There’s certainly something interesting about an evil clown (see the Joker) but unfortunately that wasn’t going to last in 1993.

Another referee comes out and looks under the ring but can’t find anyone.

Some Japanese photographers don’t know about Doink but love Yokozuna.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

As the match goes on, Savage casually brings up Lex Luger knocking Bret Hart out cold earlier today. So this information has been known all day and it’s just NOW being brought up, an hour into the show? Backlund forearms him down and hooks a nice butterfly suplex, followed by an atomic drop, a high spot for him back in the day. Back up and Bob tries a slam, only to get small packaged for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. I guess they haven’t gotten all the filler matches out of their system yet. This was a decent way to showcase Razor but it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Backlund was quite the return story but that’s the best they can do to make Razor look like a big star?

Ad for King of the Ring.

Money Inc. isn’t worried about the Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake with Jimmy Hart, who jumped to yet another team) after crushing Beefcake’s face with their metal briefcase. Hogan has threatened to bankrupt Money Inc. but how do you bankrupt a company with an unlimited credit line? I.R.S. promises to make Beefcake’s face look like a jigsaw puzzle with some missing pieces.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

I.R.S. and Beefcake get things going but the champs are quickly double teaming. DiBiase tries an ax handle to the metal mask and hurts his hand as you would expect. Some rams into the buckle have no effect either. Come on Ted you’re smarter than this. Now we get the tag to Hogan for his first match in a year. He hammers down right hands in the corner, despite having FAR smaller muscles than he did the last time we saw him.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

DiBiase gets in a cheap shot to take over on Hulk, allowing I.R.S. to choke with a tag rope. More choking ensues until we hit the Million Dollar Dream but Hogan seems moderately annoyed by it instead of in any kind of trouble. It’s basically a chinlock with the arm trapped but Savage takes the attention off of it with this gem: “They’re hanging from the rafters……if they had rafters……but I’ll tell you what they have columns and they’re hanging from them!”

Beefcake comes in with his own sleeper to DiBiase for the save as Hogan is actually out from the hold. That’s certainly a new one. Hogan gets up at about nine and the hot tag brings in Beefcake. Well hot is a stretch as the fans don’t seem to care but it’s been a pretty dull match so far. Beefcake cleans house until DiBiase hits him in the back with the metal briefcase.

DiBiase gets smart by taking off Brutus’ mask so Heenan makes face off jokes. A double clothesline puts the champs down but Beefcake puts I.R.S. in the sleeper instead of tagging. DiBiase makes a quick save but the referee gets bumped. The tag brings in Hogan but there’s no one to see it. Hulk comes in anyway and hits both guys with the mask. Jimmy Hart tries to wake up the referee but when that doesn’t work, he turns his jacket inside out to reveal referee stripes and counts the pin to end the match at 18:43.

Rating: D. This was much more long than anything else and the whole thing got stupid at the end. Hogan was WAY past his expiration date at this point and it was pretty clear based on this match. Beefcake wouldn’t wrestle for the company again but naturally Hogan brought him in for the main event of WCW’s biggest show the next year.

Hogan and Beefcake hold up the titles, making them the only two people in the arena stupid enough to think that counts. Another referee comes out and says not quite as Money Inc. wins by DQ. Ever the good losers, Hogan poses to limited cheering but then cracks open the briefcase and gives away the money inside (along with a brick. Why you would need a brick when you have a METAL BRIEFCASE?). So now he’s stealing in addition to looking like a moron with that ending. Hogan is a four time WWF World Champion and now he thinks his manager counting a pin is supposed to change a title? What a hero: a cheating moron.

Singer Natalie Cole gets a nothing interview to say she’s having fun. The CEO of the casino is happy with everything that’s going on.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger being a knockout artist with that forearm (which contains a steel plate). He’s been on a roll this week with a hole in one playing golf and he’s been hot at the tables so let’s make it one more win tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Back in and Luger sends him into the buckle but Perfect just kind of staggers around. After that awkward selling, Perfect starts going after the knee and slaps on a spinning toehold. Back up and Perfect’s bad back is sent hard into the buckle as this isn’t exactly taking off. A backbreaker keeps Perfect in trouble and Luger rolls him up in the corner for two but gets caught with his feet on the ropes.

Perfect comes back with a sleeper but gets driven back first into the buckle. At least Luger is focusing on a body part and sticking with it. Perfect finally tries his own worst enemy and catapults Luger into the buckle. It doesn’t quite work the same but maybe the idea scared him. A missile dropkick gets two on Luger but he counters a backslide and shoves Perfect’s feet into the ropes for the surprise pin at 10:56.

Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. This really didn’t work as neither guy could get anything going. Perfect was in a weird place here as he was still talented but didn’t really have a character. Luger was just that forearm but would somehow wind up being the co-top hero in the company in just a few months. It didn’t work for either guy here though and the match was pretty boring.

Luger knocks Perfect out and walks off. Perfect slowly gets up and goes after him but gets jumped by Shawn Michaels to start their summer long feud. This triggers a big argument between Savage and Heenan with Macho Man getting up and pointing his finger in Heenan’s face. Believe it or not, Heenan actually doesn’t run away.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Gonzalez is a 7’8 monster (wearing a full body skin colored spandex suit with muscles drawn on and fur at the shoulders) who was brought in by Harvey Wippleman to replace Kamala, who Undertaker dispatched to end 1992. This is the same story that would be used about thirteen years later when Undertaker feuded with Daivari’s lineup of monsters.

Undertaker comes out in a funeral chariot complete with a vulture for his first cool Wrestlemania entrance. Undertaker, a legitimate 6’10, comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Some big forearms have little effect but Gonzalez is nice enough to sell an uppercut that clearly missed.

A low blow doesn’t have much effect on Undertaker so he comes back with Old School. Undertaker gets thrown around and we hit a standing chinlock. Gonzalez gets bored and throws Undertaker to the floor and then into the steps. The power of the urn gets Undertaker back to his feet and inside but Gonzalez headbutts him right back down. Some awkward strikes stagger the Giant and he goes down to one knee so Harvey throws in a towel with chloroform to knock Undertaker out but it’s an obvious DQ at 7:34.

Rating: F. This was awful and maybe Undertaker’s worst Wrestlemania match ever. Gonzalez was just terrible and made everyone else look bad too because no one could do anything with someone so big and awkward. On top of that, the ending sets up a rematch instead of just ending this lame feud once and for all here like they should have.

Undertaker is stretchered out and Gonzalez lumbers around the ring. Eventually Undertaker’s music plays and he staggers to the ring to clean house.

Call the Hotline!

Gene, after talking about Heenan going to buy new underwear, shows us a clip of Yokozuna crushing Jim Duggan’s ribs. Yokozuna followed it up by winning the Royal Rumble and then crushing WWF World Champion Bret Hart’s ribs at the contract signing. Enough of that though as Gene brings in Hulk Hogan, who has been talking to Bret and assuring him that all the Hulkamaniacs are in his corner. Since he was attacked last night, Hogan wants Bret to make sure he’s watching everyone around him.

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Yokozuna tries to kick the champ while he’s down but Bret grabs the foot and ties him up in the ropes to get the big man down. Bret fires off more right hands and drops a middle rope elbow until the referee breaks Yokozuna free. The big man is up and slams Bret with ease before dropping a huge leg/various other parts on Bret’s face for no cover. The fans chant USA to support the Canadian so Yokozuna chokes him down before switching to a nerve hold.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

Rating: D+. They did what they could do here but the story of “Bret is going to get killed” is about as lame of a way to set up a title match as you can get. Bret was hammering away with everything he had but like Gonzalez (albeit a much better version), there’s only so much that could be done here, especially when you’re an average size guy like Hart. This could have been much worse but it still wasn’t much to see.

Hogan is here IMMEDIATELY after the match to plead Bret’s case. You know, like all the other times Bret and Hogan have been such great friends. Due to reasons of extreme overconfidence and stupidity, Fuji is willing to give Hogan a shot RIGHT NOW. Bret gives his blind blessing and we’re off.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji throws salt in Yokozuna’s face by mistake (with the referee just watching) and it’s a clothesline and the legdrop to give Hogan the pin and the title at 28 seconds.

Hogan celebrates as Bret is completely forgotten to end the show. That would be Hogan’s last singles match until early June because he took seven weeks off before coming back to do tag matches with Beefcake against Money Inc. But hey, it’s another title win.

Overall Rating: D. This is actually a tricky one to grade. The show only runs about two hours and forty five minutes and the first fifty minutes are excellent stuff with two good to very good opening matches. I can’t call a show with an opening third that solid a failure by any means so the show gets some big points there.

That being said, the rest of the show goes off a cliff with the best match being the main event, which really isn’t any good and clocks in as the shortest announced Wrestlemania main event in history. Couple that with Hogan sneaking in to take the title in an ending that wasn’t the most popular in the world and you don’t have a great title picture going forward.

The word picture is appropriate here as well as this show doesn’t look like a Wrestlemania is supposed to. Instead of the biggest show of the year, this felt like a random pay per view in the mid to late summer, which actually would have helped it a lot. The outside venue is cool but it feels like a fun show rather than something big and epic like the show at Madison Square Garden or the shows in big stadiums.

Overall this show has too many problems working against it. The atmosphere was a failed experiment but the card didn’t do it any favors. Yokozuna was fine as a monster to be slayed but Hogan wasn’t the choice to do it, at least not two minutes after Yokozuna won the title at Wrestlemania. I’m supposed to be impressed that Hogan beat a tired Yokozuna and had to have salt in Yokozuna’s eyes to do it? That’s not a good end to any show but the fact that it was the end of Wrestlemania made it even worse.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania VIII
Date: April 5, 1992
Location: Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 62,167
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

In addition to the new names, another major change here is the length. This show runs about fifty minutes shorter than the last three years and has nine matches compared to 12-14 at recent Wrestlemanias. It should take away a lot of the filler and time wasting, which have been among the biggest problems in most of the shows. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the double main event and is much brighter and colorful than videos of years past.

Heenan is looking for the centerfolds of Elizabeth that Flair (who Heenan was advising at this point) had promised. Monsoon: “DON’T START!”

Reba McEntire singe America the Beautiful.

El Matador vs. Shawn Michaels

Matador is Tito Santana as a bullfighter, and he’s introduced as El Matador Tito Santana. Shawn broke up the Rockers at the end of 1991 and gone solo (while taking Sherri with him), turning into the Heartbreak Kid. That means we get Sexy Boy, as sung by Sherri, for the first time here. Gorilla and Heenan argue over Sherri’s looks as she spends the first minute taking off Shawn’s jacket. A quick high cross body gets two for Tito and he slaps on a headlock as Gorilla plugs a hotline.

Shawn bails from the threat of a right hand so Tito clotheslines him to the floor. Fan: “YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED SHAWN!” Back in and a headlock slows things down as we get into the technical sequence. Santana gets a few near falls off the headlock and the crowd is already losing interest. A small package for two gets them back into it a bit and we’re right back to the headlock.

Shawn finally shoves him off and gets in a right hand to take over. We hit a chinlock for a bit until Tito elbows his way out, only to walk into a superkick (not yet a finisher). Shawn’s real finisher (a teardrop suplex, something like an Angle Slam) is broken up and Tito hits the flying forearm, followed by an atomic drop so Shawn can do his nutty bumping. Tito’s Paso Del Muerte (a forearm to the back of the head. Heenan: “Extra hot pace picante???”) sends Shawn to the floor so Santana tries to suplex him back in. Shawn grabs the top rope though and for some reason Santana falls over, giving Shawn the pin at 10:38.

Rating: C. This took its time and was starting to pick up near the end but they ran out of time. It could have been something special if you add another three minutes or so to the end and cut off about a minute of the headlocks. Still a good enough match but it spent too much time building and not enough time on the execution.

Gene brings out the Legion of Doom with their old manager Paul Ellering, a kind of maniacal genius. Ellering talks about how he’s back to bring the team back to their excellence. Animal promises revenge on Jimmy Hart for cheating them out of the Tag Team Titles and to get the belts back. Hawk says the team has been a runaway train with no one driving, but look who’s driving now.

Ellering wants to know if going up worth the coming down for the other teams. They earn everything they have the old fashioned way: they beat people up for it. They’re coming for the titles and don’t care who it is. This was just a lengthy way to say “we’re back and Ellering is here.” He hadn’t been in the WWF before so this is new to most fans. The team would be gone by the fall when Hawk went insane in England.

Jake Roberts talks about laying a trap for Undertaker at the Funeral Parlor (interview segment) where he trapped Undertaker’s hand in a coffin and beat the heck out of him with a chair. The key here is Jake hyping up the DDT as the one thing that can keep Undertaker down. Undertaker turned face by preventing Jake from hitting Elizabeth with a chair after Jake’s match with Randy Savage and this is about revenge for both guys.

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

Right hands have little effect, including a running right hand to put Undertaker over the top but he lands on his feet. Back in and more right hands actually stagger Undertaker as Heenan thinks he has two brilliant minds. Undertaker is tired of getting punched in the face so he grabs Jake by the throat. A big jumping clothesline wakes the crowd up a bit but Jake slips out of the tombstone and plants him with the DDT.

Jake gets up….and so does Undertaker. Heenan: “Oh my God he’s not human.” The short arm clothesline sets up an even better DDT but Jake goes after Bearer instead, allowing Undertaker to sit up again. A tombstone on the floor (with Jake’s head a good six inches from actually connecting) is enough for the academic pin at 6:41.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have a great match but it told the right story of Undertaker being unstoppable. No one kicked out of the DDT and the idea of someone getting up from two of them, especially after Jake promising that it would be enough to take him out, makes Undertaker look like an unstoppable monster and that’s the right idea. Jake was gone to WCW after this.

Roddy Piper, the Intercontinental Champion, jokingly talks about growing up with Bret Hart but Bret doesn’t want to have fun today. All he wants is the Intercontinental Title back but Piper doesn’t like his tone.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Hart lost the title to the Mountie in January when he was sick so Piper took the rematch at the Royal Rumble and won, setting up Bret’s rematch here. No contact for the first minute. They keep up the slow start with Piper armdragging him down. The champ rides him on the mat until Bret rolls him out to the floor. Piper is ticked off at being shown up so he slaps Bret in the face to make things serious.

Heenan and Monsoon start agreeing about strategy and their mutual panicking is funny stuff. A running dropkick puts Piper down but Bret hurts his shoulder on the landing. Heenan sees through the goldbricking and is thrilled when a healthy Bret small packages Piper for two.

A cross body puts both guys on the floor in a crash and Bret is busted open, which is a very rare thing to see in this era. It was so rare that he had to lie about being busted open hard way to avoid being fired. Back inside it’s Piper getting in a sucker punch to do a mid match heel turn. A bulldog gets two for Piper and Bret’s sunset flip gets the same. You can hear the fans getting into this more and more by the second. Piper hammers away until Bret forearms him to the floor.

Back in and a double clothesline puts both guys down and Heenan has no idea why there’s no count since Piper’s head is on Bret’s stomach. Good point actually. Roddy gets pulled off the top and it’s time for the Five Moves of Doom. The middle rope elbow lands right on Piper’s raised boot (that looked great and it was clear what Bret was going for instead of intentionally diving into the boot) but the referee gets bumped.

Piper sends him into the steps and grabs the ring bell. The fans don’t want to see Piper go full on evil though and Piper has second thoughts. Heenan: “GIVE IT TO ME! I’LL HIT HIM!” Piper doesn’t give in to the demons though and puts on a sleeper, only to have Bret climb the ropes and flip backwards onto him for the pin and the title at 13:50.

Rating: A-. This is a great match and pretty easily Piper’s best in the company, possibly even in his career. It’s also Piper’s first clean loss in the company as he was very protective about his statue. The match itself was a classic too with both guys matching each other step by step. It was a great idea to have Piper tease going full on heel but stopping himself, which would actually be brought back at a later Wrestlemania. This still holds up incredibly well and it’s an awesome match with both guys coming off looking great.

Post match Piper hands the title to Bret and remains on the good side.

Heenan has a major surprise by introducing the future World Bodybuilding Federation (yes that was a real thing) Champion: Lex Luger. Lex calls Gorilla fat, takes off his shirt to show off his muscles, and drinks some milk.

The Mountie, the Nasty Boys and the Repo Man (formerly Smash) are ready for their eight man tag.

Sgt. Slaughter, Big Boss Man, Jim Duggan and Virgil (with a broken nose) are ready too. These are your basic old school hype promos and work fine.

Sgt. Slaughter/Big Boss Man/Jim Duggan/Virgil vs. The Mountie/Repo Man/Nasty Boys

Neither team gets an entrance but we do have time for some jokes by guest ring announcer Ray Combs, the host of Family Feud. Combs has taken a survey of 100 people here today (the gimmick of Family Feud) and gotten some opinions of the villains. Apparently Mountie is dumb and does the work of three men: Larry, Curly and Moe. As for Repo Man, no one can call him two faced because if he had another face he would certainly be wearing it right now. Combs’ suggestion that the Nasty Boys are only successful due to luck is enough to get him chased to the floor and we’re ready to go.

House is cleaned to start but Heenan has a special announcement: Shawn Michaels has left the building! Monsoon: “WHO CARES???” Duggan and Sags get things going with Jim taking over via some clotheslines. It’s off to Slaughter vs. Knobbs and Slaughter, who has gone from bad to good and from main eventing last year to this, elbows him in the ribs. Boss Man misses a corner splash and it’s off to Repo who jumps into a low blow.

Virgil’s cross body gets two as Heenan thinks the protective mask makes Virgil look like a spotted owl. The bad guys take over until Mountie dives into a spinebuster from the illegal Boss Man. Some law enforcement. Everything breaks down and Sags removes Virgil’s mask, only to knock Knobbs out with it by mistake, giving Virgil the pin at 6:31. Minor note: Danny Davis was referee despite being banned for life plus ten years back in 1987.

Rating: D. Total mess here but that was kind of the point. This was a good example of how far you can fall in just a year as the Nasty Boys, Slaughter and Boss Man were all in title matches last year and now they’re just filling in spots in a multi-man match to make sure they’re all on the show.

Flair and manager Mr. Perfect (out of the ring due to a back injury) look at the centerfold of Elizabeth and say she’s as close to perfect as you can be. Flair says this is Elizabeth’s last chance at Space Mountain. Perfect: “Can I come with you?”

Savage isn’t giving interviews and Gene thinks it might be because he’s getting ready for his WWF World Title shot.

WWF World Title: Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Flair is defending and Heenan is practically worshiping him on commentary. Elizabeth is nowhere in sight and Savage is wrestling in full body attire instead of just tights. Savage goes after Flair in the aisle but Perfect pulls him off to draw away Savage’s attention. They get inside with Randy hammering away until Flair backdrops him over the top in a great looking crash.

Back in and a suplex gets two for the champ as Heenan wants to stand up for a better view. Heenan: “SHOW ME THE PICTURES! I WANT TO SEE IT ON THE BIG SCREEN!” That sounded dirty even by Heenan’s standards. Ric sends him to the floor and drives Savage’s back into the barricade, followed by another suplex for two more. A neckbreaker puts the champ down and a simple move like that freaks the fans out.

Flair goes up but Savage slams him down, even going to the bottom rope (you don’t see that very often) for some extra impact. Heenan is losing his mind as Savage gets two off a clothesline. The champ is knocked to the floor and the top rope ax handle drives him into the barricade, drawing blood (via an obvious blade job from Flair, earning him a lot of heat backstage). The Flair Flop on the floor leaves blood on the mats and Heenan is on the verge of tears.

Back in and another top rope ax handle gets two. There’s the elbow but Perfect comes in and pulls Savage off, which still isn’t a DQ. As the referee throws him out, Perfect throws Flair a foreign object (how did the referee not see that?) to knock Savage silly. It’s still only good for two and you can see the fans going crazy at every move. The referee yells at Flair, allowing Perfect to hit Savage in the knee with a chair.

Cue Elizabeth to come down despite a bunch of backstage people (including Shane McMahon) trying to hold her back. Flair starts in on the knee with a knee crusher and the Figure Four as the agents are still trying to get Elizabeth out of here. Perfect gets caught helping Ric though and the hold is broken. Savage’s small package gets two and Flair kicks at the leg even more, saying this one is for Elizabeth. Flair picks up the leg but Savage punches him in the face, knocking the champ into a rollup (with Savage grabbing the trunks) for the pin and the title at 18:01.

Rating: A. Oh yeah it’s awesome. This was more proof that a different style could work in the main event and title scene as this was as far away from the Hogan style than you could get. It’s an excellent match with Flair working over the knee as much as he could until Savage used the same tactics Flair used against him to win with all the heart carrying him to the finish. Great stuff here and well worth seeing.

Flair goes after Elizabeth again and kisses her, earning a slap in the face. Savage is right on top of him but Perfect gets in another shot at the leg to put the new champion down. Flair works him over a bit more until agents get the bad guys out of the ring, leaving Savage and Elizabeth to celebrate under the fireworks.

Perfect and Heenan rant about Savage stealing the trunks and argue over whether there’s anything to worry about. Flair is the only calm one (when will you ever see that again?) and claims that Savage is a false champion. Elizabeth is a Jezebel too. Flair and company are going to reassemble the team and dare Savage to do it again. Savage is going to be damaged goods just like his old lady. It was Savage out there taking shortcuts and Heenan freaks out over the trunks. This was a great delusional heel promo with the three of them ignoring every question from Mooney about all their cheating and only focusing on Savage.

Savage says he doesn’t care what anyone says because he has what makes Flair tick. That was just a piece of what he wants to do to Flair. Ric hasn’t been beaten up properly yet and it’s going to happen soon. These promos are excellent and make the feud even better, which is quite the task.

We’re in intermission now as we recap Sid vs. Hogan with Sid freaking out over Hogan getting the title shot at Wrestlemania. He has a point here as Hogan was eliminated from the Royal Rumble first and had no real claim to being #1 contender. Sid went full on psycho by destroying the injured Brutus Beefcake’s Barber Shop (ANOTHER interview segment which everyone seemed to have back then) with a chair. This is most memorable due to Sid winding up with shampoo all over his face and chest.

Some Lumbee Indians (from Tatanka’s tribe) are dancing in the ring.

Rick Martel thinks there might not be a match with Tatanka tonight because Tatanka is still outside scalping tickets. That joke hurt my soul.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Tatanka is undefeated at this point and only debuted about two months ago. Heenan explains his stance on the Flair match and promises that the team will be back. Gorilla: “YOU’RE A LIAR!” Heenan: “You’re not going to get me upset!” Gorilla: “YOU’RE A LIAR!” Heenan: “PUT EM UP!” Tatanka sends Martel out to the floor and then into the post as the announcers argue over where the Lumbee Indians are from. Martel throws Tatanka to the floor and starts hammering away as this is already getting dull. Tatanka crotches him on the top and hits a quick cross body for the pin at 4:31.

Rating: D. This was just your cool down match after the big title change. Tatanka would settle in to a good midcard spot while Martel is in the same place that Snuka was in last year. Nothing to see here but it gave the crowd a chance to breathe so it’s kind of a necessary evil.

Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase and I.R.S., Irwin R. Schyster, formerly known as Mike Rotundo and now an evil accountant) are ready for the Natural Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon, a fellow 400lb monster) because they have Jimmy Hart in their corner. Hart used to manage the Disasters so he knows all their secrets.

The Disasters are ready too.

Gorilla gives us the Hotline number. That’s very WCW of him.

Tag Team Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc.

I.R.S. runs away from Earthquake to start so it’s off to DiBiase after no contact. Gorilla needles Heenan about Flair’s loss as Earthquake shoves DiBiase around with ease. The champs bail to the floor until it’s back to I.R.S., who has as much luck as his partner did. Typhoon comes in and steps on I.R.S.’ tie to keep him from escaping.

DiBiase’s right hands work a bit better and Typhoon misses a charge to fall out to the floor. A double back elbow drops Typhoon and it’s off to a front facelock from I.R.S. Back to DiBiase for a double clothesline as Gorilla is running out of ways to bring up Flair’s loss. Earthquake gets the tag and the fans just do not care. I.R.S. gets crushed by Typhoon’s splash but DiBiase pulls him to the floor and they take the countout at 8:36.

Rating: F+. It was dull, it was longer than it needed to be, the fans were bored out of their minds, and this changes nothing. This felt like a house show match that somehow got onto the pay per view. Allegedly this was supposed to be the Legion of Doom getting the shot but Hawk wasn’t really capable of being sane at this point.

Brutus Beefcake is here to support Hogan.

Owen Hart vs. Skinner

Owen’s baggy purple pants with checkered suspenders deserve a mention. Skinner is an alligator wrestler from Florida who chews a lot of tobacco. Owen is in early trouble and a quick reverse DDT gives Skinner too. Not that it matters as Owen skins the cat and rolls Skinner up for the pin at 1:10. Now that’s a filler match.

Sid doesn’t want to hear from Gene, calling him a stupid fat little oaf. He’ll prove that he’s the master and the ruler of the world. Sid looks at a clip of Hogan saying he’s not sure if this is going to be his retirement match. If it is, Vince thanks him for the memories over the years. Sid doesn’t care about the memories and curses Hogan because he can.

Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan

Sid’s squirrely manager Dr. Harvey Wippleman (complete with a medical bag) handles Sid’s introduction. Sid tries to jump Hogan during the entrance but Hogan punches him down and clotheslines Sid out to the floor before the music even stops playing. Justice gets back inside for the staredown and a knee to the ribs has Hogan in trouble. Some more right hands send Sid outside again and the slow start continues.

We get the test of strength and Hogan goes down (he’s really kind of bad at these things), followed by a bad looking chokeslam. Sid poses instead of covering and starts hammering on the back to set up the powerbomb. We hit the nerve hold on Hogan and this match needs to die already.

The powerbomb gets two and it’s Hulk Up time. Hogan gets the slam and drops the leg….for two. This was supposed to be Papa Shango running in for the DQ but, depending on who you ask, Shango either missed his run-in or the company screwed Hogan over in case he was leaving. Wippleman comes in after the two instead and it’s a DQ at 12:26.

Rating: F. If this is the best Hogan can do, he needs to leave already. This was a horrible match with neither guy looking interested in trying anything out there. The ending makes it even worse and while you can’t blame the wrestlers for it, you can hold it against the match as a whole. Horrible match and one of the worst main events in the show’s history.

Hogan gets beaten down by both guys but the Ultimate Warrior returns from an eight month hiatus (read as firing) and makes the save. The traditional posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Much like last year, there’s some great stuff on the show but at the same time there’s a lot of stuff holding it back. The main event in particular this year was a disaster but Warrior’s return was a big surprise and a great moment. They’re starting to get the Wrestlemania formula down but there are still a lot of bugs they need to work out, including a lot of the worthless filler.

That being said, this show was by far and away easier to sit through than the previous years with about fifty minutes cut off. It gives things a better flow and stops spending so much time on unimportant stuff, such as a way too long celebrity segment. This was good enough, but still not a great show.

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