Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The big story coming out of last week: product placement and lame action. The shows really aren’t lighting the world on fire right now, but a lot of that has to do with a lack of the Authority and Brock, because without the two of them, them show comes off as a glorified Smackdown. Get to the point already or get rid of the Authority as the main focus of the show because otherwise, a show without them on it isn’t going to go anywhere. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap covers last week’s product placement and Rollins reuniting the team.

We open with Heyman and Lesnar coming out to the exact reaction you would expect for them in a smark paradise like Chicago. Heyman talks about how the Authority thinks Brock is still in Tokyo, because they allowed him to show up tonight. Lesnar is a god and hallowed be his name, but he isn’t a god of love or charity or kindness. No, Lesnar is a god of violent retribution and the sword that will pierce Seth Rollins’ shield.

Heyman brings up the Streak but points out that it wasn’t because of any malice towards Undertaker. Heyman: “This one you’ll cheer.” When Brock took John Cena to Suplex City, it was just because Lesnar wanted the title and not out of disrespect. The same was true for Reigns at Wrestlemania, but it’s not the case for Seth Rollins.

No, Rollins has broken the 11^th commandment by cashing in Money in the Bank, running away from a rematch and having his Authority buddies attack him two weeks ago. Heyman’s job is to sell us on Battleground in St. Louis, but the beatings and the suplexes begin tonight in Chicago. The Beast of Battleground is waiting for the champ tonight, so Rollins better be ready.

Kane is in Hawaii and we have badly photoshopped and unfunny photos to prove it.

The Stooges have taken a road trip and we’re going to get pictures later. That…..could work?

Big Show vs. Ryback

Non-title and Miz is at ringside in director’s chair with a microphone. In an inset interview, Ryback says he is one of the few who can manhandle Big Show and Big Show doesn’t like that. Well not many people would but Ryback never was very insightful. Miz starts shouting into the mic but only tells the big guys to hit each other.

The fans really don’t seem pleased with this one and Show chops Ryback in the corner. Miz: “ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!” Ryback kicks him in the face a few times but Show knees Ryback into the corner. This is a very slow and lumbering match so far which isn’t a great choice for the opening match. Miz distracts Ryback so Show can slam him down as we take a break.

Back with Show holding a leg lock and Miz telling Show that he should never retire (WOO!). Ryback powers out and takes out the knee as well before dropping Show with three straight shoulders. The Meat Hook and a splash get two but the top rope version misses. Show hits a chokeslam and middle rope elbow, drawing in Miz for the double DQ (he was smart enough to hit them both at once) at 9:24.

Rating: D-. I have tried and tried to defend this three way feud but my goodness Big Show is dragging it down. Ryback is trying to become a more interesting character but there’s only so much you can do with Big Show as the power moves against him look cool, but once you’ve seen them a few times (over the last fifteen years or so) they lose a lot of their impact. Let him do comedy again or something, because Show as the big, strong monster is WAY past its expiration date.

Miz attacks both guys and then begs both guys to wait for Battleground. Ignore the large gap behind him where he could run at any time of course. Miz takes a Shell Shock and chokeslam and another Meat Hook drops Show again. At least the champ stood tall.

More Kane hysterics.

The Stooges went to Wrigley Field and weren’t impressed. They could at least take the price sticker off the window. That car better bite the dust before the end of the night.

Brie Bella vs. Paige

Paige gets backdropped to the apron to start and the announcers are already on the amount of days Nikki has held the title. So we’re just stuck with nothing interesting until we get to AJ because Nikki is interesting or something.  Nikki: “BRIE MODE!” You can hear the crowd dying for this one, which could be because this story hasn’t changed in weeks now. Fox gets in a cheap shot but Brie knees down her sister/friend at the same time by mistake. Paige sidesteps the middle rope dropkick ala Samoa Joe but the other girls get involved, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D. This story needs to go somewhere already, and by somewhere I don’t mean having Naomi and Tamina come in to help Paige. This story has been set up for something major and the same Divas being rotated in one more time certainly isn’t it. The Bellas are long past interesting at this point and while Nikki is better than she was, this story needs a rest but we’re pretty much confirmed for the next few months because AJ MUST DIE or something.

Paige gets beaten up post match.

Recap of Wyatt vs. Reigns from last week.

Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Get your countouts ready now. Reigns shoves the briefcase out of Sheamus’ hands before we start and the brawl is on with a devastating headlock. Sheamus knees him in the ribs to take over but Reigns pulls him off the middle rope and knocks Sheamus outside. They’re still firmly in first power gear at this point.

Sheamus actually wins a slugout on the apron and sends Reigns face first into the post as we go to a break. That looked (and sounded) good at least. Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock and a nice loud CM PUNK chant keeping the crowd from being bored. Reigns’ best way around this is a bunch of clotheslines, followed by a BIG clothesline in the corner. Feel the intensity!

The Irish Curse is countered and a Samoan drop connects. The Superman Punch is countered into another Irish Curse for two but Reigns Superman Punches him out of the air….and here’s Bray. Roman charges up the ramp and Superman Punches….somebody, as Bray pops up on the screen and says anyone but you. Sheamus wins by countout at 11:20.

Rating: C. Decent enough power brawl here but like I said, it was no secret that we were going to get a countout or some kind of wonky finish. It wasn’t anything of note, but there’s only so much you can do with power brawls, especially when we just had one about forty minutes ago. WWE REALLY needs to work on alternating their styles because you keep getting the same styles of matches over and over and they get old fast.

Post match Randy Orton comes out for an RKO. I had been wondering where he was.

The WWE Network is in Italy. Uh….yay.

Rollins comes in to see HHH, who wants to know what Seth is going to do about Brock Lesnar. The champ thinks he has Battleground in the bag, but HHH is worried about tonight. Rollins needs to do the unthinkable tonight: have him laid out by the Authority like they did two weeks ago. To be fair, that is pretty unthinkable. Imagine the Stooges and Rollins being a real threat to Brock.

Here are Rusev and Summer Rae to keep this mess going. Rusev loves having a submissive Summer around but gets annoyed at the fans wanting Lana. He rambles on about being better than Dolph Ziggler until Summer tells the fans to give Rusev the respect he deserves. Rusev: “Thank you hot Summer.” Is she a radio chick now?

Cue Ziggler and Lana with the former saying Rusev achieved everything he has in WWE because of Lana. Dolph says Lana is his now and it’s time for kisses. The girls tease a fight but Rusev blasts Ziggler with the crutch before taking off the boot. This goes on for nearly five minutes with the only highlight being Summer attacking Lana. Ziggler’s comeback didn’t work and the beating just kept going.

This was WAY too long and my goodness Ziggler sucks in this role. After all the years of being with whatever girl can get him somewhere he’s all gaga over yet another good looking blonde because…..she likes him? Is there any other reason for these two to be together? Rusev needs to murder Ziggler and then do something bad to Lana and then never speak of this whole mess again.

Post break they actually do the big serious talk about Ziggler being attacked. Ziggler even did a stretcher job. This story SUCKS and there is no need to ever talk about it again. Figure out how your characters work and then don’t screw with them because going against established characters is one of the worst things you can do in wrestling or any other form of entertainment.

Bo Dallas vs. Dean Ambrose

Before the match, Dallas talks about how that was a bad thing happening to a bad person. Good things happen to people like him though, as long as you BOLIEVE! The dueling WE BOLIEVE/LET’S GO AMBROSE chants start up as Bo gets two off a clothesline before hitting the chinlock. Bo misses a knee drop and gets bulldogged down, setting up Dirty Deeds for the pin at 2:59. This was WWE saying “yeah Ambrose is still a thing after losing Thursday. Oh you didn’t know he lost Thursday? Well then never mind.”

The Stooges got stuck in traffic. Seriously.

R-Truth vs. King Barrett

No entrance for either guy as this feud just keeps going. Barrett stomps him down in the corner to start and a clothesline takes them out to the floor. Truth is sent into the post a few times and we hit the chinlock. A big boot gets two for Barrett and we take a break. Oh freaking joy we get to see more of this match. Barrett hammers away but runs into a series of clotheslines (WAY too popular tonight and in general). Winds of Change is countered into a crucifix for two but a low blow drops Truth. Truth goes up and dives into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. So? Barrett has knocked Truth out a few times already, so what difference does it make if he does it again? Why should this horribly uninteresting feud that has made Barrett look even less important than he was when he was Intercontinental Champion? Barrett could be doing ANYTHING else and it would be better but we’re stuck with this. The match was boring too, just like everything else they’ve done.

Back from a break with another look at Ziggler being beaten down. This is treated as way too big of a deal after the mess they’ve made of this feud.

Here’s Rollins with an ax handle and the Stooges with their car and their own ax handles. Oh come on man. No one could possibly be that stupid. Rollins is going to burn Suplex City to the ground before going on about how awesome he is a bit longer. He finally asks if Lesnar is just Heyman’s….uh….I think you can figure this out, so here’s Brock. All three are ready for him so Brock thinks better of it and tells Heyman to bring him something. Heyman brings over an anvil case containing a pair of axes. Oh this is going to be good.

Brock smashes the ax into the car door and can’t even get it out, so he breaks a few windows and tears off a door. The door goes flying into the crowd (apparently hitting a fan, who was ok) and now it’s time for the Stooges to come save their car. Noble winds up with a broken arm and Mercury gets suplexed onto the hood, much to the delight of the crowd. Brock chases Rollins out of the ring and holds up the title to wrap things up.

THIS is what Brock should have been doing for the last six months. Just have him break stuff and be a freak of nature. Don’t have him get beaten down by Kane and the Stooges like EVERY OTHER FACE EVER. That was the problem with the HHH feud: anyone could have played Lesnar’s role. Here, there isn’t anyone else that Rollins hasn’t already beaten or has any real reason to be afraid of anymore so only Brock really fits.

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

Woods is the odd man out here and the Players are on commentary, with a shirt for Cole. The Dragons speed things up to start but Kofi comes back with a kick to the ribs (devastating!) before it’s off to Big E. Titus goes on about some kind of fungus that Big E. has (maybe he could use a washcloth to clean it up. It didn’t make sense when they said it for weeks on end (and yes I know what it is) so why not say it again here?) before the Dragons clean house and dive on all three New Day guys as we take a break.

Back with Kofi getting two on Kalisto before it’s off to Big E. for more clubbing forearms. The abdominal stretch with the slaps set up a chinlock from Kofi as we hear about where everyone went to college. The hot tag brings in Cara and Titus takes over on commentary, doing a pretty awesome old school play by play, including a quick rant about how he should have JBL’s salary. Everything breaks down and the Midnight Hour ends Cara at 10:16.

Rating: C. This was fine and a nice way to set up the title match at Battleground. Neither of these teams are exactly lighting the world on fire at the moment but it’s nice to see something other than the team fighting over and over again. Titus continues to be WAY more charismatic than half the roster and deserves the success he’s having.

Steve Austin is on the cover of WWE2K16.

It’s Open Challenge time but first we get a package on Owens losing the NXT Title in Tokyo over the weekend. Cena says have no fear because the champ is here, meaning there will be a title match right here on Raw. Again Owens interrupts and says this is the worst part of the show every week because the people have to listen to Cena saying the same garbage over and over again. The bell is about to ring but here’s Cesaro one more time. Cesaro says he deserves another shot because he had Cena ready to tap out but Owens cost him the title shot. Owens walks away from the threat of violence and it’s time for a rematch.

US Title: Cesaro vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. A quick uppercut puts Cena down on the floor and we take a very early break. Stop doing that nonsense and just have the bell after the break. We got maybe 40 seconds of “action” and then miss three and a half minutes. I hate that way of thinking. Back with Cesaro stomping away as he almost has to play the heel here, even though he’s turned face for all intents and purposes.

A one arm delayed vertical suplex with a squat gets two but Cena shrugs it off (because it’s a suplex) and drops Cesaro with a front face electric chair drop. The AA is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to the chinlock. That’s good for a second commercial in about five minutes of actual match time because they’re really trying to fill in time. Back with Cesaro catching Cena’s shoulder in a backbreaker and countering the Shuffle with a crossface.

That’s countered into an AA attempt but Cena has to settle for the STF instead. A rope is grabbed so Cesaro rolls some gutwrench suplexes for two of his own. That was a cool looking spot, as always. Cena blocks the Swing by doing a big situp into a DDT for two of his own and the fans are starting to buy into this. Cena rolls through a cross body into the AA but Cesaro lands on his feet.

Swiss Death is countered into a hurricanrana for two and both guys are down. The fans officially think this is awesome so they’ve won over one of the tougher crowd. Cesaro makes it even more awesome with a spinning springboard uppercut for an even closer two. They fall to the floor with Cena backdropping him into the timekeeper’s area but the referee takes his time counting. Well to be fair that’s not really a main event level finish so you can’t go there again.

Cena shoves Cesaro off the top for two off the Fameasser and then tells him to hold the ropes, which Cesaro does to counter another AA. A HUGE Swiss Death connects for two more but a quick AA gets the same. Both guys are spent so Cesaro is able to grab the Swing, setting up the Sharpshooter which he transitions into another crossface, but Cena slips out and puts on the STF.

Cesaro powers out of THAT and lifts Cena up into the air for a snap suplex. That is just scary, scary power. The Springboard Stunner misses so badly that Cesaro just Neutralizes Cena for two instead of going down. Cena’s tornado DDT is stopped in midair and Cesaro slaps him down into another crossface, sending Cena into the ropes for a chorus of boos.

The apron superplex (with EASE) gets two but Cena pops back up and floats over into a Batista Bomb (the sign of Cena being desperate) for a sloppy two, as called out by the announcers. Cena takes him to the corner but almost gets caught in a super Neutralizer, only to be countered into a super AA to retain the title at a mind blowing 30:10.

Rating: A-. Yo Vince, I think the guy can connect to the fans. Cesaro is basically where Dolph Ziggler was a few years ago: having really entertaining matches but never being able to show what else he can do because he’s never given the chance. Cesaro is one of the rare cases where he nails every single thing he’s asked to do and almost everyone is begging for him to move up to the next level, but something about a superhuman freak with a good look who can speak five languages fluently and has nearly fifteen years experience doesn’t click with Vince and for some reason the guy never gets the push he deserves.

At least there was this though, which is somehow better than last week’s near classic. Cena and Cesaro are guys with incredible chemistry and yet another example of someone going out there and having maybe the match of their lives against Cena. I’m hoping that when Cena retires, people look back at him in awe because this is a once in a generation kind of talent and we take him for granted.

Owens runs in and eats an AA to close the show.

Overall Rating: C. It took a lot to bail this show out but thankfully the main event is awesome and eats up well over half an hour to close things out. Other than that and the awesome BROCK SMASH segment, there really wasn’t much to see here. The wrestling in the first hour was horribly lame and the Rusev vs. Ziggler stuff has to end with Ziggler getting eaten like a Russian stew or the whole thing is an even bigger disaster than I was expecting. The main event leaves this on a very positive note, but there’s a lot for it to overcome here.

Results

Big Show vs. Ryback went to a double DQ when Miz interfered

Brie Bella b. Paige – Bella Buster

Sheamus b. Roman Reigns via countout

Dean Ambrose b. Bo Dallas – Dirty Deeds

John Cena b. Cesaro – Middle rope Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I’m still in England so Raw should be up tomorrow.  Use this thread to discuss whatever happens and come up with your own ways to blame the Authority for Raw sucking.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The big story coming out of last week: product placement and lame action. The shows really aren’t lighting the world on fire right now, but a lot of that has to do with a lack of the Authority and Brock, because without the two of them, them show comes off as a glorified Smackdown. Get to the point already or get rid of the Authority as the main focus of the show because otherwise, a show without them on it isn’t going to go anywhere. Let’s get to it.

And that’s not good.

Something I didn’t get around to reporting last week was that the ratings for Raw were a disaster (come on guys you can watch even though your boss is gone). Here’s the thing though: it really isn’t hard to figure out why. The problem is, and I hate to admit it, the Authority wasn’t around. WWE has pretty much made it clear that if they’re not around then Raw is basically a glorified Smackdown.

Yeah stuff might happen, but it’s either wrapped up later in the night and barely mentioned again, or completely erased by the Authority. The show has turned into everyone dancing around to entertain HHH and Stephanie as they get to ignore almost all character motivation and logic for the sake of keeping themselves looking good.

The fans know that if the Authority isn’t around, big stuff isn’t happening and they’re much better off going to bed or doing something else and checking the results later, because three hours of mediocre wrestling (and a John Cena match), uninteresting stories and Rollins trying to figure out if he’s his own man or needs to buy the rest of the team presents to save him from some big bad isn’t enough to hook you in all night. WWE can change this line of thinking pretty easily, but it’s been proven before that they’re not very interested in getting Stephanie and HHH off TV that easily and I can’t imagine it happens anytime soon.

With a wrestler!  From Progress Wrestling, Bodyguy Johnson.

http://mightynorcal.podbean.com/e/wwp-episode-17-the-day-has-finally-come-professional-wrestler-bodyguy-johnson-from-progress-wrestling-joins-us-to-give-insight-into-going-from-fan-to-wrestler/

Ring of Honor
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: King Corino, Kevin Kelly

We’re finally past the Global Wars stuff so it’s time for something actually Ring of Honor instead of a co-promoted show. Therefore tonight….it’s War of the Worlds, which is another Ring of Honor/New Japan co-promoted show from before Global Wars took place. They’re entertaining, but I’m more interested in their storylines instead of shows from two months ago. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Kelly promises fallout from Best in the World next week, meaning it’s FINALLY a new, all ROH show.

Addiction vs. Gedo/Kazuchika Okada

Addiction’s ROH World Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line, but they do insist on being called the World Tag Team Champions of the World. Gedo and Okada are part of the Chaos stable. Kaz and Gedo get things going with Gedo firing off some Flip Flop and Fly (with the punches missing) before it’s off to Okada vs. Daniels. The fans are split but Okada wins some points by teasing a big chop to the chest but stopping to gently pat him.

Gedo books his team into control with a poke to the eye but it’s quickly back to Kaz. The Addiction screws up to give Gedo a rollup (with tights) for two. At least Gedo is showing some personality here. He’s one of those guys where I just don’t get it so this is a mild improvement. Back from a break with Kaz putting Gedo in a freaky arm/leg hold but Daniels shoves the referee and almost gets in a fight with him, which might be an homage to Tommy Young boxing with Jim Cornette back in the day.

A top rope stomp to the chest gets two on Gedo but he grabs a quick Downward Spiral, finally allowing the hot tag to Okada. House is cleaned and the White Noise onto the knee gets two. Some double teaming slows Okada down until a double cross body gives us a breather. Back to Gedo for a jawbreaker and low superkick for two but Celebrity Addiction (belly to back into a gutbuster) is enough for the pin on Gedo at 14:41.

Rating: C+. This is where I get tired of Ring of Honor fans. The match was really nothing all that great, but Gedo and Okada are from Japan so the fans are going to act like this was one of the most amazing things they’ve ever seen. Yeah it was fine, but it was just a run of the mill tag match. Okada has his moments of awesome, but Gedo is just a guy for the most part.

Daniels takes the Rainmaker post match, and it’s still just a clothesline.

Adam Page vs. Watanabe

This is joined in progress. Watanabe takes him down with a neckbreaker and backdrops Page to the floor. Page backflips out of a German on the floor to prevent a broken….well probably multiple brokens, and a Colby Corino distraction lets Page mostly miss a shooting star off the apron. Back in and Page breaks up a half and half suplex but gets caught in a belly to back superplex. I’m still waiting on anything but a spot fest here. My suspicions are confirmed as Page hits his Right of Passage reverse piledriver for the pin at 4:54 shown.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. This is another good example of the problem with these shows: who are these people and why should I care? If you don’t follow New Japan, there’s very little reason to care about what these people are doing. I know both guys are young stars, but that’s about all I know of either guy. You could have any guy fill that role, and that’s not a good sign. The match certainly wasn’t bad, but I have no connection or reason to care about either guy and that hurts a lot.

AJ Styles vs. Adam Cole

Styles’ IWGP World Title isn’t on the line. They shove each other around and run their mouths a bit to start before Cole cranks on a weak armbar. Styles shrugs it off and comes back with an AA into a backbreaker to take over. A seated version of the Superman forearm (minus the springboard) gets two and the drop down into the dropkick sends Cole to the floor and us to a break. Back with Cole hitting a nice wheelbarrow suplex onto the apron for the first really cool spot of the match.

A knee to the face gets two for Cole and we hit the chinlock. Cole spits on the commentators and flips off the fans (censored) but AJ will have none of that and comes back with a torture rack powerbomb for two of his own. Corino thinks AJ is sexy. Ok then. Cole’s recently injured shoulder is sent into the corner but he superkicks AJ out of the air for two more. We hit the Figure Four and Corino is in full on fanboy mode. Fans: “THIS IS WRESTLING!” Oh shut up.

Styles makes the rope and kicks him to the floor as we take another break. Back with a VERY fast paced kick exchange, capped off by AJ missing the Pele and taking a low superkick for a near fall. A Canadian Destroyer doesn’t work very well so Cole busts out a Styles Clash for an even nearer fall. How exactly do you nearly fall anyway? Is it like slipping and catching your balance at the last minute? Now the Pele connects and AJ is mad enough to hit a kneeling piledriver and the Clash for the pin at 22:45.

Rating: B-. I liked the match and they picked it way up later in the show, but again this was more for people who are long time watchers of the show than a good initiation for new fans. I’ve seen enough of Cole to know he’s good (though not as good as he’s made up to be) but they didn’t do a great job of making me know that. Still though, good main event.

They shake hands to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was fun, but I’m REALLY not a fan of this style of show. Like I said, if you don’t know how things are going in Ring of Honor or New Japan, this was mainly just a collection of wrestlers having matches with no stories or anything to make me care about them. It was a fine show for an hour, but these guys really needed some video packages or promos to let us connect to them.

A lot of wrestling companies forget about how important it is to care about the wrestlers and think it’s all about the in ring action. You’re almost always going to be able to find better wrestling, but wrestlers you care about having good matches are far more interesting than wrestlers you don’t care about having a slightly better match. I’m really glad we’re finally moving forward next week, because this stuff is getting tiresome.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Rich Brennan, Corey Graves

It’s the show before the big title match in Tokyo and we actually have a main event announced in advance. This week’s big match is Samoa Joe/Finn Balor vs. Rhyno/Kevin Owens, which isn’t exactly what the champ should be doing but it makes sense given the story. I can’t imagine Owens is champion next week but I’ve been surprised before. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just a quick preview of the tag match.

Vaudevillains vs. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder

Gotch and Wilder start things off with Dash quickly shoving him into the corner for a tag off to Dawson. Well that was pointless. Simon gets a quick two out of the corner and it’s off to English for a MANLY elbow. A back elbow and knee drop put Simon down and Dawson drives elbows into the face. The manliness starts running low though so it’s off to English to squeeze the juice out of oranges and shave with broken glass. Or maybe for the Whirling Dervish from English for the pin at 3:07.

Rating: D+. This was basically a squash and a way for the Vaudevillains to say that they’re here as faces. The fans are going to cheer for the MANLY stuff because it’s goofy fun and the guys are good enough to make a pretty unique gimmick work. I like the team, but they need some better opponents than a pair of jobbers.

Becky Lynch has a hip flexor injury and will be out for a few weeks.

Baron Corbin vs. Tucker Knight

Knight looks a lot like Rusev. End of Days in 47 seconds.

The Vaudevillains and Enzo/Cass are in Regal’s office. As you might expect, he snaps after about ten seconds of chattering. It’s a #1 contenders match next week.

It’s time for the last part of the Finn Balor documentary. Balor talks about loving how he spawns creativity from fans with their art. Some of the pictures are cool and I know I’m right because Sami Zayn agrees. We see the Finn Balor debut with Prince Devitt popping up on screen and how he knew the fans were accepting him.

The name is a combination of an Irish warrior named Finwick who went to war against the evil King Balor. The fact that his dad is named Finn didn’t hurt either. Matt Bloom (Jason Albert, NXT trainer) says there wasn’t much in ring stuff to teach him but he had to learn cameras. Balor says every entrance is a movie, which is an interesting way to look at it.

Quick talk about the Demon giving him more confidence before it’s off to saying he’s ready to take the title in Japan. A music video of him with some kids doing the Balor pose and everyone talking about how amazing Balor is ends this. These three parts are collected in an NXT special and I really, REALLY recommend you take the thirty minutes to watch it. These are some of the best documentaries WWE has ever done and they make me think Balor is ready for the WWE main event scene right now.

Eva Marie trained earlier today as Regal watched. That could be anywhere between a pleasant surprise to my mind exploding in shock to exactly the disaster a lot of people are expecting.

Emma vs. Carmella

The lack of caring for Carmella when Enzo and Cass aren’t there is astounding. Feeling out process to start with Carmella taking her down in a headlock, followed by a hurricanrana out of the corner. Emma grabs the ropes (that’s kind of lame) and puts on a bodyscissors for a bit. Carmella fights back and hits a running boot to the side of the head, only to be pulled down into the Emma Lock for the tap out at 4:12.

Rating: D+. This is more proof that there are two kinds of NXT Divas. Some of them are capable of having a classic match if they’re given enough time and look as polished as any male wrestler. Then you have the lower level, who look about the same as most of the main roster Divas and do little for me. Guess which group these two are in.

Bull Dempsey tries to break open a vending machine when Regal shows up to yell at him. The chocolate on Dempsey’s lips don’t make things any better.

Jason Jordan is annoyed at losing again last week so Chad Gable comes up to offer his services again.

Tyler Breeze vs. Tye Dillinger

Dillinger charges into a boot to start but slugs Breeze down to take over. Tye mocks the photos and the fans give him a ten, which hasn’t been explained on NXT so far. A hurricanrana and right hands (straight out of Shawn Michaels’ playbook) set up the Beauty Shot for the pin at 2:50.

Emma and Dana Brooke interrupt a Sasha Banks interview to admire the Women’s Title. A challenge is thrown down and Sasha says she’ll find a partner.

Rhyno/Kevin Owens vs. Samoa Joe/Finn Balor

Joe is billed at 302lbs which sounds bigger than you would think, but it’s nice to just admit that he’s a bigger guy. Rhyno and Joe slug it out to start with Joe taking over and nailing the jumping kick in the corner. Off to Balor vs. Owens with Finn dropkicking him down but being sent to the floor for daring to try a suplex. Back from a break with the champ holding Balor in a chinlock. That’s really dull stuff so it’s back to Rhyno for a delayed vertical suplex with some squats thrown in.

Points to Rhyno for picking things up a bit. Owens puts on another chinlock but makes sure to stick out his tongue to the crowd because he makes chinlocks something special. Some of the time at least. We get the Cena finishing sequence but Balor escapes the AA and makes the hot tag to Joe. Rhyno plants him with a spinebuster and Owens adds something resembling a Pop Up Powerbomb. It’s back to Balor for a Pele though and the Gore nails the champ by mistake, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin on Owens (first time in NXT) at 12:40.

Rating: C. This was fine, but what does Joe actually add to NXT? He’s just Joe at this point and hasn’t done anything other than his first big showdown. Maybe now that Owens is going to be shifting to the main roster he might have a story coming soon, but there’s nothing significant for him right now. I’d love to see him do something and it’s WAY too early to write him off, but so far there’s nothing special. There’s nothing to talk about with the match as it’s booking 101 to set up a title match.

Overall Rating: C. Much like the main event, this was fine but there’s not much you need to see here. Balor continues to look like a million bucks and Breeze is actually an awesome face due to the amount of hard work he’s put in over the last year or so. Overall though this feels like the doldrums that NXT hits when they’re about to start getting ready for a big Takeover, which I believe is around Summerslam time. Totally watchable show that set up some future matches, but not much on its own.

Results

Vaudevillains b. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder – Whirling Dervish to Dawson

Baron Corbin b. Tucker Knight – End of Days

Emma b. Carmella – Emma Lock

Tyler Breeze b. Tye Dillinger – Beauty Shot

Finn Balor/Samoa Joe b. Rhyno/Kevin Owens – Coup de Grace to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: February 9, 2000
Location: Myriad Convention Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 7,124
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

The NWO has never had problems like this before! I mean they’re fighting amongst themselves and beating each other up! Other than that, the question here is which veteran is going to rip the company apart tonight and then get a big match instead of getting suspended or fired like they should. Let’s get to it.

Jarrett, the Twins and Hall arrive separately.

Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Lash Leroux vs. Shannon Moore

Lash cuts off the performance this week, making him twice as annoying. Granted that’s not saying much as he isn’t very annoying in the first place. 3 Count gets involved early and pulls Lash to the floor, allowing Shannon to hit a moonsault for two back inside. Lash blocks a spinwheel kick and sends Shannon into the corner, where he counters a bodyscissors and drops Moore chest first onto the buckle. A dropkick gets two on Shannon and he gets planted with something like an AA. Evan offers a distraction so the other bandmates can come in, only to be taken down by a double clothesline. Lash rolls Shannon up for a fast pin.

Norman Smiley breaks up the post match beatdown and promises to beat all of them up at SuperBrawl.

Time to run down the card.

Here’s the NWO, meaning just Jarrett and the Twins, with something to say. Jeff wants quiet from the fans before he starts beating up their heroes. Fans have been asking why Jeff did what he did on Monday when he attacked Hall. Who are these fans? I want them flogged. Hall was trying to take Jarrett’s title shot, even though he would get the title match anyway at SuperBrawl. Jarrett makes Sid/Funk vs. the Twins tonight just to screw with the champ. Tenay: “What’s wrong with that?”

Cue Hall, who reads HEY YO off a piece of paper. He doesn’t remember choosing Jarrett as the boss because Jeff doesn’t remember the time up north. Jeff has been invited into the clique down here and now he thinks he’s running the show. He’s just the acting commissioner until Nash comes back, so here’s Nash…..on the screen. Nash tells the women to stop with the massage for now because he has to yell at Jarrett.

Jeff can’t be left alone for five minutes and as a result, he’s no longer commissioner in any capacity. Back in Amazing Fantasy #15 in Spider-Man’s first appearance, it was said that with great power comes great responsibility. Jarrett did something bad to someone Nash cares about, so Jeff has to be punished.

The first idea was to cover him in barbecue sauce and put him in a cell with Meng, but then he had a better idea: leave him on a deserted island with Zbyszko so Larry can tell him about the time when he was on top of the territory. Hall: “NO KEV NOT THAT!” Nash can be a funny guy when he feels like it. Instead, how about Hall vs. Jarrett tonight with the title shot on the line. The survey says the fans approve (or maybe they just want to go home) and that’s that. So to be clear, this week the Outsiders are faces.

Jarrett is livid after a break.

Hardcore Title: Demon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Demon does his entrance from the coffin and gets hit with a crutch for the pin in three seconds. This is part of the “let’s bury Demon because we agreed to a deal with Kiss and then realized it was stupid but we have to fulfill our obligations” period.

Funk and Sid are ready for the Twins tonight.

Crowbar listens to Kiss because he’s crazy.

Booker vs. Stevie Ray

I would ask why not wait for SuperBrawl, but I guess you have to do this match while Booker is still out on bail for that attempted murder thing. Booker doesn’t want to fight his brother, but a Biggs distraction lets Stevie get in some cheap shots. A few kicks put Stevie down and Booker beats up Biggs, followed by a chair to Stevie. Booker leaves and there was no match.

Nash, on the phone, isn’t cool with Jarrett spending $57,000 on guitars last week so he makes Luger vs. Finlay for tonight.

Flair wants Hogan but will settle for Funk at SuperBrawl. They really are just doing the greatest hits catalog aren’t they?

Kidman vs. Crowbar

This could be good. Crowbar charges into the ring and Kidman pounds him down like a villain, or someone with a reason to be mad at Crowbar, would do. Back up and Crowbar intentionally throws dropkicks that miss for some taunting but Kidman just punches him in the face. They head outside with Kidman being whipped into the barricade, setting up a splash off the barricade. Well at least they’re keeping it moving so far.

Back in and Crowbar gets dropkicked out of the air, setting up the Bodog for two. The BK Bomb gets the same but Crowbar counters a headscissors into a kind of reverse Batista Bomb. I’ve always thought a reverse powerbomb would be a good finisher for someone. Kidman is in trouble but Torrie easily distracts the referee, allowing Crowbar to grab the crowbar. Crowbar takes a crowbar though and Kidman hits a quick hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C. These two are rapidly becoming some of my favorite people on the show. Crowbar may not be the most technically sound guy in the world but he’s playing his character so well that it’s hard not to like him. Kidman is probably the most polished worker on the roster right now (or at least the most polished who is actually trying) and it’s really showing.

Crowbar whips himself into the steps. That’s quite the dedication.

The NWO sends their women away.

Sid Vicious/Terry Funk vs. Harris Brothers

Sid comes out first because the title has no value these days. Jarrett, of course wearing the US Title which he has shown no signs of defending yet, is on commentary. Ron and Sid start with Ron taunting Funk, drawing him in for a Twins’ double team. Just like last week, Sid fights them off with ease because they’re the Harris Twins, allowing Funk to come in and cover Don for two. A DDT gets the same and it’s off to Ron for a chinlock.

Funk fights back with a shoulder as we hit slapnuts #5 from Jeff. The hot tag (more like mild and party cloudy) brings in Sid for a chokeslam and cobra clutch slam to Ron. Don takes a piledriver on the exposed concrete but Sid gets hit low to keep the match going. Funk puts Don on a table at ringside as Sid chases…..I guess Ron to the back, allowing Jarrett to guitar Funk through the table to give Don the pin.

Rating: D. I guess this is the match that got the extra time after Knobbs vs. Demon. That being said, I’d love to hear the validation from the creative team as to how this is the best use for the World Heavyweight Champion who has spent weeks battling the forces of evil to finally win the belt. Lame tag match but at least Jarrett gets one up on the champ, by beating his tag partner who first retired seventeen years ago.

Flair wants to team up with Luger so Luger can break Funk’s arm on Monday while Luger deals with Hogan. The youngest person in this story: Lex Luger at 41.

Total Package vs. Fit Finlay

Before the match, Luger (can we please go back to that being his official name?) talks about beating up Hogan and Funk with help from Flair, who is referred to as a protege. Thankfully Finlay comes out so I don’t have to feel the explosion of the space time continuum from that statement. Finlay works on the arm to start, stomps away in the corner and then gets hit in the leg by a ball bat shot from Liz for the fast DQ.

Luger Pillmanizes Finlay’s arm and Brian Knobbs comes out to get in a shot of his own. On Finlay of course, because he doesn’t seem to remember Luger breaking his arm so recently.

This Week in WCW Motorsports.

2XS (Lenny and Lodi, now known as Idol) isn’t worried about Miss Hancock leaving them because they don’t need a stupid gimmick. They’ll take the titles tonight.

Tag Team Titles: 2XS vs. Mamalukes

The Italians are defending but get jumped in the aisle, which is becoming a very common trend in WCW. Tenay ignores talking about the match to plug DDP’s new book as Vito gets stomped down before he can even take the belt off. Cue Hancock for some gratuitous leg shots and a rare removal of the hair bun. My goodness that woman is beautiful. She hands some papers to the announcers and leaves which they can’t seem to understand. Idol DDTs Johnny but Disco breaks up the pin. Disco and Idol ram heads and Vito’s implant DDT is enough to retain. The match was a backdrop for Hancock’s paper delivery.

Crowbar hits Disco with a lead pipe and steals the belts.

Ernest Miller won’t say where James Brown is.

Gene calls out Ric Flair for a chat. Ric says it’s just like old times because he’s still the greatest wrestler, athlete and lover in the world. He isn’t pleased with ESPN for not naming him one of the greatest athletes of the century but would rather talk about what’s in the WCW Magazine he’s holding. It’s a list of the all time great WCW stars and Flair is #2, after Hulk Hogan. Flair beats up the magazine (makes sense for him) but here’s Dustin Rhodes. Dustin didn’t think much of Ric letting his son get beaten up on Monday when all David wanted to do was impress his dad. David is more grown up than Ric and those are fighting words.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

Flash back six years and this could be interesting. Rhodes takes over to start by stomping Flair into the corner and suplexing him down but a clothesline takes out the referee about twenty seconds in. A low blow puts Dustin down but he avoids a knee drop and puts Flair in the Figure Four. That earns him a Rolex to the face, giving Ric the pin.

Terry Funk makes the save but Lex Luger hits the ring to take out Dustin and rack Funk.

Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett

Winner gets the World Title shot at SuperBrawl. Scott gets in some shots to start but Jeff sends him outside for a beating from the Harris Twins. Ron’s clothesline gives Jeff two and we hit the sleeper/sleeper reversal sequence. Hall comes back with right hands and the fall away slam as the fans are WAY into Scott. Just like Monday, the referee makes sure to get right in the way of a flailing body, this time with Jeff’s legs as he’s taken up for the Outsider’s Edge. No count of course, allowing Jeff to pop up and hit the Stroke for three off second referee Mark Johnson.

Not so fast though as the first referee gets up and says restart it so Hall punches various people until a mic shot puts him down for two. Jarrett misses a belt shot and takes one to the face, but this time Johnson pulls Mickie Jay to the floor. Cue Sid and GOOD GRIEF JUST LET THERE BE A PIN. Hall Edges Johnson and Sid powerbombs Jarrett as the match is finally thrown out.

Rating: F+. It’s Jeff Jarrett and Scott Hall. These two fought each other so many times over the years that they probably know how to have at least an average match through muscle memory, but we had run ins, ref bumps, refs fighting and weapons in a six and a half minute match. This is another case of “just let them wrestle”. It would make everyone’s lives so much easier, which is why it’s never going to happen.

Overall Rating: D-. This may not be the worst show ever, but it’s one of the laziest. However, they do seem to be making some headway with some of the stories. Luger and Flair as the new big bad is fine, even though I can’t imagine Hogan and Funk as partners taking them down. The NWO stuff is just killing this show though with the Twins as some of the least interesting lackeys I’ve ever seen. There’s some watchable stuff in there and if they would just find a better option for the main event and upper midcard, this would be a far more watchable company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The big story coming out of last week was Mil Muertes becoming #1 contender, meaning I’d advise you to send Prince Puma our final goodbyes before his inevitable destruction. Other than that we have the Disciples of Death coming after the Trios Titles, which should be another academic ending. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Chavo attacking Black Lotus and trying to feed her to Cueto’s brother. Next up is Daivari vs. Texano which really isn’t doing anything for me. Finally we have Drago losing the #1 contendership to Mil Muertes, because Muertes is evil and therefore unstoppable.

Chavo comes in to Cueto’s office and gets a No DQ title shot in exchange for delivering Black Lotus. As a bonus, Cueto says if Konnan gets involved then the title changes hands.

Delavar Daivari vs. Texano

Daivari has Big Ryck. Texano slugs him away to start and a backdrop sends Daivari bailing to the floor. A slingshot hilo gets two but a Ryck distraction lets Daivari go after the knee. This feud hasn’t been great so far (I still don’t really know why they’re fighting) and this match isn’t likely to help things out. Daivari stays on the knee and Vampiro calls Texano a hero. Wait when did Texano turn face?

Daivari puts on a figure four but Texano quickly makes the ropes and chops away. A leg lariat gets two as this match isn’t exactly thrilling so far. Texano makes things serious by shouting in Spanish but Daivari is all like NO COMPRENDE and gets two off an X Factor. Ryck gets superkicked off the apron and a Batista Bomb ends Daivari.

Rating: D+. Texano is a good choice for a face (assuming he gets rid of the bullrope) but Daivari as a generic rich dude wasn’t doing anything for anyone. The match wasn’t any good and it showed how weak Daivari really is out there. Thankfully the fans are into Texano and a feud with someone else could do good things for him.

Konnan and Puma are getting ready when Catrina and Muertes come in to say the title is his. Then they disappear, which Konnan calls mind games.

After a break, Konnan tells someone we can’t see that it’s time to settle a debt by dealing with Chavo tonight.

Hernandez vs. Drago

Striker: “Hernandez is arguably one of the biggest luchadors on the roster.” Actually it’s not arguable Striker. Hernandez shoves him down to start but Drago flips back up to his feet. For some reason this stuns Hernandez because someone actually got back to their feet. We hit the chinlock as we hear about Drago being a karate champion. Back up and Drago’s cross body completely fails as Hernandez casually counters it into something like a Big Ending.

A kick to the head staggers Hernandez on the top and sets up a hurricanrana for two. Not a bad power vs. speed match so far. Another kick to the face (well the heel but you get the idea) sets up an Asai corkscrew dive, only to have Hernandez Border Toss Drago onto the apron. A “fan” loses his belt and Drago gets whipped and choked for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but Hernandez is little more than power moves at this point. He never has been the most polished guy in the world but it’s getting even worse in recent years. Drago is still good but he didn’t get to do much here, making him feel far more average than anything else.

Hernandez tells the stupid fans that dragons aren’t real and Drago is just a man.

Catrina tells Chavo that he’ll die if he wins tonight. Chavo says he’ll see Catrina and Muertes at Ultima Lucha.

Marty Martinez vs. Alberto El Patron

Alberto punches him down in the corner and kicks at the ribs, setting up a Codebreaker on the arm and the cross armbreaker for the win in less than a minute.

Post match Alberto tells Johnny Mundo that he has opened a new side of Alberto. He’ll rip Johnny’s face off at Ultima Lucha.

Lucha Underground Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Prince Puma

Puma is defending, No DQ and if Konnan interferes then Puma loses the title. Chavo has the remaining Crew in his corner to protect him from Mexico, whatever or whoever that may be. Owen’s Hart’s spinout counters Puma’s wristlock but he crucifixes Chavo for two. The champ flips over Chavo and Guerrero’s knee gives out, drawing in the Crew to beat Puma down. Puma tries to fight both guys off as Chavo has barely moved. A DDT/top rope double stomp plants Puma again but Texano comes in to fight off the Crew. Puma goes up and hits a 630 on Chavo to retain the title.

Rating: C-. I have to believe that was a real injury (or at least a storyline “real” injury) because there’s no reason to have the match go that way if Chavo was healthy. Even from Chavo’s perspective it doesn’t make sense because why wouldn’t he help in a beatdown in a No DQ match? I’ll give them a big break here because it seems like a real injury and it’s not fair to criticize them in that case.

Texano says Mexico isn’t coming for Chavo because it’s right here.

Chavo is in the back when Blue Demon Jr. comes in. Demon chuckles at what he saw but Chavo says that Texano must be Mexico now while Demon is just some has been who lives in Miami. Demon slams him into a locker and leaves as Chavo smiles. I’ve asked this before and I’ll ask it again: why am I supposed to care about Blue Demon Jr.? He’s been around since the first episode, wrestled two or three times, and is apparently really important (yes I know his lineage), but I have no reason to care about him.

Overall Rating: D+. I didn’t care about this one very much, but Ultima Lucha is really starting to take shape. They’ve got about a month to go before the major show and it should be interesting to see how good of a show they can put on when they have the time and the stories built up. Not a great show here, but it accomplished a few of its goals.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Beast in the East
Date: July 4, 2015
Location: Ryugoku Sumo Hall, Tokyo, Japan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

This is one of those times where the WWE Network shows how amazing it really is. Instead of a pay per view or TV show, they’ve basically sent cameras to film a major house show and we get to watch it because we’re lucky that we have the Network in our lives. The main draw is of course Brock Lesnar in a rare match as he faces Kofi Kingston in what could be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the only two things that matter: Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens and Brock Lesnar. Does anything else matter?

It’s a really basic set with a short aisle and a square Titantron. I like that.

Neville vs. Chris Jericho

That’s quite the opener. The fans are mainly behind Jericho but the LET’S GO NEVILLE chants sneak in there. Feeling out process to start with Jericho working on a wristlock but getting sent out to the floor for his efforts. Back in and we hit a bow and arrow hold on Neville, only to have him flip over into a cover for two.

They’re working a nice technical style to start here. Cole talks about their histories and my mind is blown as we hear about Dragon Gate and FMW on WWE programming. Back up and Neville tries some flips, only to be sent out to the floor. The springboard dropkick puts him down again and the fans are eating up some Canadian hero.

We hit the chinlock back inside as Jericho is working a very simple heel style while still being a face for the crowd. An enziguri gets two on Neville. Cole: “And now Neville may be the one heading back to the locker room.” So is Jericho just going to stand out there if he wins? It’s not the worst idea in the world but as usual, Cole doesn’t think before he speaks. Neville fights back up and goes to the top but Jericho is right there waiting to knock him down. Very nicely done there as you can see the story they’re telling here.

Jericho’s superplex is countered but he has to roll through a Red Arrow attempt. A try at a hurricanrana goes even worse as Jericho counters into the Walls for a very solid reaction from the crowd. The ropes are quickly grabbed though and Neville hits a quick dropkick and standing shooting star for two. Jericho forearms him down and hits the Lionsault for the same. The Codebreaker connects but Jericho takes his time covering so we keep going. Neville pops back up with the delayed German and a superkick but the Red Arrow hits knees, setting up the Liontamer (yes Liontamer) for the submission at 16:13.

Rating: B. Huh? They spent the entire match setting up Neville’s big comeback to beat Jericho and then they have him win? I’m not sure on that one but at least Neville looked great in there. I was really digging the story they were going with here Jericho being one step ahead of Neville and cutting him off at every turn while treating him as someone beneath him with all of his cockiness. Good match with a questionable result but the fans dug the heck out of the Liontamer so points for giving them something to cheer for. Jericho was the heel here, but it was very basic at best.

Brock is here.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Tamina vs. Paige

Nikki is defending and it could be interesting to hear how the fans treat this one. Cole, ever the genius, calls the former Women’s Champion Bull Nakana (it’s Nakano, as Byron Saxton corrects him. Yes, Byron Saxton is the smart one on this team). Paige takes over to start but actually works with Nikki to suplex Tamina. You know, because Tamina is so big that you can’t suplex her.

Nikki takes over as you can hear some very loud spots being called. The champ loads up a superplex but the referee is nice enough to tell Tamina to get back in so she can do the Tower of Doom. Tamina gets sent outside again though because she really has no reason to be here other than likely taking the fall later. The Rampaige gets two on Nikki because she killed that move during one of their title matches. It’s Tamina in again though with a superkick to Paige but Nikki rolls away from the Superfly Splash, setting up the forearm to retain at 7:13.

Rating: C-. This was fine and basically a Raw Divas match. Nikki is pretty clearly getting the Divas Title record because it’s going to make us forget about AJ Lee or something like that, because only WWE really cares about these things. You can see the other Divas having to take it back a notch to let her keep up, but Nikki is a lot better than she used to be.

Brock Lesnar video, which might as well be Kofi’s last rites.

Kofi Kingston vs. Brock Lesnar

Just Kofi here and surprisingly no Heyman. For some reason I don’t see him as being a big deal in Japan. Kofi is smart enough to bail to the floor to start and we’re told that New Day’s tag match took place before the show went on the air. I was wondering how they were going to be able to fit the whole seven match card in two hours, but did anyone really need to see New Day vs. Lucha Dragons? Cole mentions Brock being the IWGP Heavyweight Champion, which is always interesting to hear in WWE.

The chase is on for a few seconds but the inevitable beating quickly begins. Kofi’s cross body works as well as you would expect it to work and a dropkick to the back just annoys Brock even more. Kofi flips out of a German and goes after the knee for as much effect as it’s going to have. There’s the first German though and the Japanese fans chant SUPLEX CITY. German #2 makes Kofi’s hair bounce in a good bit. The fans try to cheer for Kingston so Brock just destroys him with the F5 for the pin at 2:58. This was exactly what it should have been.

Brock throws in a few more Germans because he can, followed by some F5’s to an invading New Day. Again, this is exactly what it should have been.

In case you’re wondering about the other two advertised matches, Cesaro beat Diego by submission and the Lucha Dragons pinned the New Day in dark matches.

Quick recap of the NXT Title match, which should be main eventing but instead we’re getting a lame tag match because that’s how WWE works. Anyway, Finn Balor made his name in Japan and is coming back home as the Demon to take the title from NXT Champion Kevin Owens. Kevin simply said it’s not going to happen.

NXT Title: Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens

We get the Demon entrance and oh yes it’s still glorious. For a bonus, the camera changes to an arena shot at the crescendos of the music. To make it feel even more special, we get the full on flower presentation from geisha girls (Owens throws his into the crowd of course) and streamers for both guys. Get this through your head ROH: doing the same thing for every match doesn’t make it feel more special. Hideo Itami is shown in the front row and we’re ready to start. Balor has more paint than ever with his face, torso and left leg covered.

Balor charges at the bell and loads up the Coup de Grace in the first ten seconds. Owens rolls outside so Balor nails a big dive as the NXT chants start up. He tries to bail again and eats a baseball slide as Balor is all over him. Back in and Owens hammers away to take over for the first time. Owens: “AND THAT’S WHY I’M THE CHAMP!” We hear more of Balor’s accomplishments in New Japan as Owens takes some bows.

It’s off to Chinlock City before a forearm breaks up Balor’s springboard. The slow pace is working for Kevin here and it fits him very well. Finn beats the count back in but takes the backsplash for two. Back in and Owens snapmares him down and runs the ropes….before stopping for a chinlock. Owens: “Are you not impressed? I don’t care. I hate this country and all its stupid people!” Balor fights back again with a middle rope forearm for two so Owens does Cena’s finishing sequence, complete with an attempted AA.

Balor is afraid of a lawsuit over gimmick infringement (only Kurt Angle can steal that many finishers) and slips out twice in a row. Bloody Sunday is teased (and the fans gasp) but it’s a Pele Kick to put Owens down instead. Owens takes a big flip dive and a top rope double stomp to the back, followed by a reverse Bloody Sunday (not called that of course) for a VERY close two. The Coup de Grace misses though and Owens’ Cannonball gets two. The package piledriver slam gets the same but Balor hits a quick Sling Blade.

Another Coup de Grace is countered so Balor kicks him in the head and FINALLY connects with the stomp….for two. Dang I thought that was it. Owens can’t hit the swinging fisherman’s superplex so he settles for a middle rope Regal Roll for two. That looked great. Kevin’s Swanton hits knees and the real Bloody Sunday gets an even closer two. They’re trading bombs here and it’s getting awesome. Owens makes the eternal mistake of slapping a hero in the face and saying the hero can’t beat him. Balor dropkicks him into the corner, hits a running corner dropkick and a second Coup de Grace for the title at 19:30.

Rating: B+. Was there ever any doubt that this was going to be awesome? Owens is one of the best heels that I’ve seen in years and he does everything he can do to make you hate him. The fact that he can go as well as he does in the ring makes him even better, which is saying quite a bit as he’s that good as a character.

Tatsumi Fujinami comes in to congratulate the new champion. Owens of course refuses a handshake because he’s a true heel.

Kane/King Barrett vs. John Cena/Dolph Ziggler

Here’s a match that no one wants to see because it’s lame even by house show standards band WWE didn’t think this stuff through. And Lana isn’t even here, though to be fair she wouldn’t make sense out there with Cena. Ziggler shoulders Barrett down to start so it’s off to the power guys, meaning Kane gets to bore main event crowds in a new country. Cole: “Cena has restored credibility to what many would admit was a rather stagnant United States Title.” Oh yeah Vince isn’t listening.

Cena slugs away at Kane for no effect, just as he’s done about 194 times over the years. Maybe if we’re lucky Kane will break a hole in the ring and be a demon/monster again. Barrett chinlocks Cena before it’s back to Kane, who bores the announcers so much that they start name dropping Japanese wrestlers and co-promoted shows. Cole: “It’s amazing to know that COO HHH is watching this show live.” No Cole, it isn’t.

Barrett comes back in for some big right hands as the announcers keep trying to find ANYTHING to talk about here. Another Barrett chinlock slows things down even more but Cena comes back with an AA to a very limited reaction. Kane breaks up the tag but can’t hit a chokeslam, so Cena, ever the genius, tries an AA. Since it’s against Kane though, the powers of history and Cena’s strength don’t work because Cena can usually do that on Henry and Big Show but can’t handle the 100lb lighter man.

ANOTHER chinlock makes the match drag on even further but Barrett misses an elbow to finally allow Ziggler to get the hot tag. Dolph cleans house….and gets taken down again so this match can keep going for reasons I do not understand. Just let Cena AA Barrett for the pin already. We hit the double arm stretch on Dolph before Winds of Changes is countered into a crucifix for two. The FIFTH chinlock of this match is followed by Barrett’s apron knees and yet another chinlock.

Winds of Change stops Ziggler again and Kane does the old Arn Anderson drop down onto the back until he crotches himself. Now usually that would mean a hot tag, but why do that when you can have Kane hit a big boot and a double back elbow from the heels to keep this going? The chokeslam is countered and Ziggler finally hits the jumping DDT for the hot tag. Cena AA’s Kane with ease (because this match has erased the last ten minutes from history) and hits another on Barrett for the pin at a mind numbing 23:52.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even horrible but you could have cut out at least ten minutes of this and done the exact same match. Rusev would have made a lot more sense than Barrett but for some reason they didn’t change this match to ANYTHING else. The time was the real problem here as it went on forever and the chinlocks killed any interest there might have been here.

A big celebration ends the show. Cole: “You and I actually trended on Twitter tonight!” Is there really any other way to end this? Thankfully the last shot of the show is Balor holding up the title.

Overall Rating: B. Here’s the thing: this show had two goals to take care of: Brock Lesnar being all destructive and a good NXT Title match with Balor getting the belt. They nailed those two things to near perfection, so anything else was a bonus. Luckily there was a good opener and a fine Divas match, but that main event killed a lot of the energy the show had. They really should have aired one of the other matches in its place, because that was the completely wrong choice to end the show. This should have ended with Balor pinning Owens, not a lame tag match. Still though, really fun stuff for a glorified house show.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Neville – Red Arrow

Nikki Bella b. Paige and Tamina – Forearm to Tamina

Brock Lesnar b. Kofi Kingston – F5

Finn Balor b. Kevin Owens – Coup de Grace

John Cena/Dolph Ziggler b. Kane/King Barrett – AA to Barrett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

This is a big special show called Bell to Bell, headlined by Ethan Carter III challenging Kurt Angle for the World Title. We’re also coming off a pretty lackluster Slammiversary with the main story being Jeff Jarrett winning King of the Mountain and taking the newly created title to Global Force Wrestling. We also have a thirty minute Iron Man match for the Tag Team Titles so this is a packed show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Angle’s TNA career but tonight he’s up against someone who has never lost. It’s a simple video but it hits every point it needed to touch.

The Rising vs. Beat Down Clan

The losing team must disband, thank goodness. It’s also a 4-3 elimination match with Hernandez/MVP/Kenny King/Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway/Mica/Eli Drake. MVP and Drew get things going with Galloway kicking him in the face and hammering away in the corner. Low Ki comes in and loses some skin off Galloway’s chops. It’s off to King vs. Mica with the former taking Mica down with ease for a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s more aggression than you usually see from him.

The BDC starts taking over but Hernandez isn’t pleased that he didn’t get a tag. Ki gets a nice running start into the corner and kicks Mica in the head for the elimination. Back with Ki suplexing Galloway for two as this is very one sided so far. Drew quickly rolls over to the corner for the hot tag to Drake for some house cleaning, including a dive to take MVP down on the floor. Drake comes up favoring his knee though and it’s time for the trainers. That’s officially an elimination so it’s Galloway vs. the entire BDC.

Hernandez gets things going for his team as the Pope talks about pork chops. They chop it out in the corner (dang maybe Pope is on to something) but it’s quickly off to Ki, who accidentally kicks King in the head, allowing Drew to roll up Low Ki for the elimination, followed by a quick cover on King to get it down to 2-1. See, now that’s logical thinking and doesn’t make the whole match seem fake.

Drew gives Ki a shoulder breaker onto the steps, likely to write Ki off the show, only to walk into a Border Toss. MVP’s Playmaker (or whatever he’s calling that stupid move these days) drops Galloway again but he tells MVP to bring it, earning him a Drive By to the head for the pin at 16:45.

Rating: C. Well, at least it’s finally done. The Rising was one of the most worthless stables I’ve ever seen as they just had no reason to exist. The BDC is nothing special either but at least they seem to have a purpose. Galloway was clearly several steps ahead of his partners so getting rid of Drake and Mica is a good thing for him.

Post break, MVP is told that Low Ki is heading to the hospital for his shoulder. Oh yeah that’s his way off TV.

Here’s Magnus with something to say. He doesn’t think much of James Storm and doesn’t care that Storm’s parents didn’t give him enough hugs and kisses. That’s an image I didn’t expect to think of today. Storm played some mind games but what he forgot was the power of a man when his family is threatened. Magnus brings out Mickie James, who is totally fine after that near death thing. Mickie thanks Magnus for always being there for him because he’s the man for her.

Cue Storm and Khoya, with the Cowboy saying he’s here to talk to Mickie. He thinks Mickie should be be thanking him for not pushing her a little bit harder. Storm didn’t want her in the Revolution, but rather to prove how easy it is to manipulate a woman. He could have any woman he wanted but Mickie doesn’t seem to take too kindly to this line of thinking.

Mickie would love to take the bet that Storm can’t find one woman to be on his side, because she and Magnus will fight the two of them anytime. This was a pretty awkward exchange but at least it gets Mickie back in the ring and maybe some fresh blood in the Knockouts division. One other thing: it’s always amusing to hear the commentary reference a match happening but not being able to say who actually won.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Dirty Heels

The belts are vacant coming in and this is a thirty minute Iron Man match for the fifth match in a best of five series. I’m so glad this is it for these teams as I’m long past over caring about watching them fight. Oddly enough they say that Aries won but couldn’t say who won between Storm and Magnus.

Davey and Aries fight into the corner to start before it’s off to the partners with the Wolves taking over on Roode’s arm. Back to Aries who takes Eddie down as they’re clearly taking their time to start. An elbow to the back gets two on Eddie but he easily drives Aries into the corner for the tag. Things speed up a bit with some Wolves double teaming before Eddie suplexes Austin for no cover. Instead it’s off to Davey vs. Roode with Richards putting on a kind of reverse Figure Four.

Ever the smart heel, Aries pushes the bottom rope towards his partner for the save. The Heels (stupid meta name) take over in the corner and start working on Eddie’s leg to really slow things down. We hit the ten minute mark as the leg work continues. The Heels make a wish on Eddie’s legs but he finally snaps off a hurricanrana to make the tag off to Richards. Davey takes over and everything breaks down with Bobby getting tied up in the Tree of Woe, setting up a swan dive into the corner (cool spot) for two.

We take a break and come back with just under twelve minutes to go and no score. Richards is in trouble and Aries’ top rope ax handle to the floor makes it even worse. Edwards breaks up a cover with ten minutes to go. Davey breaks up a catapult into a forearm and stomps Roode down, finally allowing the tag off to Eddie. Edwards kicks Roode off the top and hits a backpack Stunner for a very close two. A jackknife cover gets another near fall on Roode and Eddie is stunned.

Now the catapult works with Aries adding a slingshot elbow drop for two of his own. The Last Chancery nearly gets a submission but Davey makes the save. It’s not like that move EVER WORKS ANYWAY so I didn’t get the drama. The double top rope double stomp gets a VERY close two on Aries and we hit five minutes to go. Roode plants Edwards with a spinebuster and Aries nails the 450 for the first fall with four minutes left.

The Heels get smart by throwing the Wolves to the floor to kill some time and Aries keeps up the intelligence with a suicide dive to take them both out. Eddie starts fighting back at the two minute mark and the powerbomb/Backstabber combo ties things up with about seventy five seconds left. Roode sneaks in with a belt shot to the head for two but Eddie counters the Roode Bomb into a rollup for the pin. The last ten seconds quickly run out and the Wolves get the titles back at 30:00.

Rating: B+. I’m really not wild on the feud as a whole but the last two matches were far more entertaining than the first three. This match was a really good example of a match taking its time and the wrestlers thinking instead of just throwing everything in at the same time. Really well done match here and I never once questioned the Wolves’ ability to get two straight falls near the end. That’s a very good sign and the match worked really well.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Brooke and Taryn get in a brawl to start as Kong stomps around the ring. The champ gets double teamed with Kong hitting a corner splash, sending Taryn running to the floor for a breather. Simple heel strategy at least. It’s fine with Kong who chinlocks Brooke down and then swings her around by the throat. Taryn comes back in with a dropkick to Kong but she turns around and eats a dropkick from Brooke.

There’s a chokeslam from Kong on the champ but the Dollhouse pulls her to the floor for a quick beating. Brooke hits a pretty lame spear on Taryn as Josh wants the Dollhouse gone forever. Yes because the last thing we need are three good looking women on the show. Jade hits a quick Stunner over the top rope to daze Kong, setting up the Taryn Cutter for the pin at 4:44.

Rating: D. This felt like something out of the Divas division, as the match was more about the heel champion escaping than anything about the match itself. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen, but the Knockouts work better when there’s a bit more time for them to work with. Taryn retaining is good though because whoever takes it from her is going to look like a giant killer.

Post match the PLAYTIME IS OVER video comes on again…..and it’s Gail Kim. Well of course it is, as it’s been at least six weeks since she’s been out there reminding us how SERIOUS this is and how she’s a real wrestler. I know Kim is one of the best Knockouts ever (and probably the best ever) but she’s basically the female Dean Malenko: incredibly talented, but the charisma of a frozen turkey dinner.

It’s time for the big sitdown interview with the Jarretts. Here’s the whole thing: the last eight days were shocking, there’s a future between TNA and Global Force, and Jeff is excited about it. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Carter is undefeated. After some Big Match Intros we’re ready to go with the fans sounding pretty much behind the champ. Thankfully the bell rings after a break so we don’t have to miss a bunch of time after a few opening seconds. I wish WWE would figure out that mentality. The fans start the dueling chants as we have a very basic standoff to get things going.

Angle takes him down into a wristlock but is all like SCREW YOU NECK TUMOR and starts busting out the suplexes. Carter is sent to the floor and gets suplexed out there as well with Kurt in all fired up mode. Back in and Carter scores with a clothesline for one and it’s off to a chinlock. There’s the Stinger Splash, followed by a TKO of all things (always loved that move) for two. Angle misses a charge into the post and gets DDT’d (DDP’d according to Josh) on the apron.

Back from a break with Carter holding a full nelson but Kurt easily powers out because neck surgeries mean nothing to him. Both guys are down off a clothesline but it’s Kurt quickly up and busting out the suplexes. The Angle Slam is countered so it’s time to roll some more Germans. Now the Slam gets two but Carter breaks up the ankle lock and sends Kurt to the floor. Tyrus finally gets involved with a clothesline but the 1%er is countered into another ankle lock.

That goes nowhere so it’s back to the Germans because Kurt is really, really repetitive at times. Another Slam gets another two (remember that repetitive thing?) and it’s back to the ankle lock, only to have the referee get bumped on the counter. Tyrus takes Angle out and the 1%er gets two more. Well at least they didn’t go with the obvious ending. The monster tries to bring in a chair (because monsters need chairs) and gets ejected as Josh becomes a face announcer again by saying it’s the right call.

Another 1%er is countered into the ankle lock with the grapevine but Carter actually makes the rope. I can’t imagine there are more than five people that have gotten out of the grapevine version so well done there. Another Angle Slam is countered into a rollup to give Carter the title at 20:16.

Rating: B-. Well it was good, but I’m not really sure how I like Carter winning with a rollup. On one hand, I like the idea of having Carter win on a fluke, but this is going to set up another period of Angle chasing the title, which really isn’t something TNA needs to do at this point. Angle is still good, but I really do not want to see him near the World Title ever again in all of history. Still though, good match and Carter winning was the only right answer, but this really didn’t make Carter feel like anything bigger than he was before.

Overall Rating: B. Good show for the most part here but there were some major issues. The Knockouts Title match and the elimination tag were bad and boring respectfully and the Jarrett interview was more insulting than anything else. The rest was good though and it felt like a major night, but it certainly didn’t light anything new on fire.

Results

Beat Down Clan b. The Rising – Drive By to Galloway

Wolves b. Dirty Heels – Rollup to Roode

Taryn Terrell b. Awesome Kong and Brooke – Taryn Cutter to Kong

Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6