Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

It’s kind of amazing how much this show has been forgotten in just about a year. Other than AJ Styles vs. John Cena, I can barely remember a single thing about this show. I know who won the Rumble and who were some of the bigger stars in the match but the rest is kind of a blur, which isn’t a good sign for what I’m in for here. Let’s get to it.

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

This would be the “throw all the Smackdown women into one match” match. Oh and dang I forgot how stupid the four person announcers’ booth on Smackdown was. It’s almost as stupid as having a 50,000 person dome and having a match an hour and a half before the show starts because THE PLACE IS FREAKING EMPTY! Like is anyone going to not watch this show on the Network if there isn’t a match going on the two hour pre-show?

This is mainly about Becky vs. James/Bliss and the rest are there because….well because the writers don’t know how to write singles matches for the women and still don’t do this day. For a secondary story, Natalya and Nikki are feuding because Natalya is jealous so she said that Cena will never marry Nikki. You know those are fighting words.

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/29/royal-rumble-2017-i-can-go-with-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 15,170
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Now this one actually has my interest for a change. A year ago, WWE decided that the right idea was to have WWE World Champion Roman Reigns fight everyone in a single match for the title. This is completely different as now he fights everyone for the US Title. Anyway, the whole thing is about the main event, as it should be, so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

One fall to a finish and the winners go to the Rumble. I can’t help but call JBL cute for suggesting that any of these four have a chance to win the Rumble. The fans want Sandow and just EXPLODE when he actually gets the tag. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two on Swagger before it’s off to Young so the crowd can die all over again. Konnor tags himself in and it’s a big eight way standoff as we take a break.

Back with Swagger powerslamming Konnor as we hear about the fans wanting some Sandow. D-Von gets crotched against the post so the fans change up to wanting Sexual Chocolate. Henry obliges with a hip swivel, which will probably get him fined for not focusing enough or some jazz like that. A D-VON chant gets him back to his feet because we need a long chinlock in a match that doesn’t break eight minutes and has eight participants. Bubba comes in off the hot tag and cleans house with Young taking Wazzup. 3D gets two on Viktor but Henry steals the pin at 7:58.

Rating: D. This wasn’t great but it did everything it needed to do. At the end of the day, other than MAYBE the Dudleyz, Swagger and Henry were the only pairing that made sense here. Just let us have two former World Champions in there to fill in a few spots. It’s not like anyone wanted to see Young or Ascension (a sign in the crowd called them today’s joke and I can’t say I disagree) in there so go with what makes sense.

Vince and Stephanie McMahon show up in a limo (So they’re good at this point. Got it.) and talk about how awesome tonight is going to be and how fair it is to Reigns. Vince loves the idea, almost as much as he loves himself.

The opening video recaps the only thing that matters here with the tagline of One vs. All. I liked that last year and I still do.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and this is last man standing. They go right after each other to start with Dean hammering away and biting Owens’ head before scoring with the bulldog out of the corner. What looks like a tablet to the head gives Owens a breather and a superkick sets up the Cannonball through the barricade. A few chair shots keep Dean in trouble and Owens has a seat as the champ gets up.

Two chairs are set up in the middle of the ring but, just like putting a chair in the corner, whoever sets them up goes through them, meaning Ambrose backdrops him through the chairs. A suicide dive is countered into a ram into the apron followed by a whip into the steps for about a seven. With Ambrose getting up again, Owens loads up two tables on top of each other but the superplex is blocked, meaning we’ll get back to the big crash later.

Dirty Deeds gets eight on Owens and another one onto a chair sends Owens rolling to the floor to land on his feet at nine. Eh that’s kind of clever. The fans want Owens to fight (multiple times even) but Dean elbows him through a table. That’s still not enough so Dean says he hates Owens. Kevin: “I hate you too!” Back in and Owens’ swinging fisherman’s superplex sends Dean through another table to give Kevin a nine count. Owens lays Dean on a set of chairs but the champ pops up and shoves him through the double tables to retain at 20:50.

Rating: B+. It’s no masterpiece but this is the kind of show that only needs one great match to be a classic, making this a bonus. The big spot at the end was a good choice and I kind of like that over a finisher onto something made of metal. It’s a good match and a good way to open things up since the rest of the card is just a way to get to the main event.

We recap heel New Day (what a weird concept, though they’re rapidly turning face here) vs. the Usos, which has involved Chris Jericho destroying Francesca to freak Woods out.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

New Day is defending (of course) and there’s no Woods. Kofi asks for a moment of silence for Francesca but here’s Woods with a new trombone named Francesca II. See, he’s in mourning but a man has, ahem, needs. This isn’t it for them tonight though as New Day wants the World Title so 2016 can be all gold everything. Kofi: “GOLDEN UNICORNS!” Woods: “Stay golden pony boy.”

The twins take over to start and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. A jawbreaker puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Big E. for some hip swiveling, only to have Jey dropkick him into the barricade. Woods proves his worth to the team by dropping Jey to take over again. Sometimes it’s a bit harder to get rid of those old heel tendencies you see. The fans demand a Francesca performance but Woods plays when he wants to, which isn’t while Kofi has Jey in a chinlock.

The Warrior Splash gives Big E. two as JBL talks about NFL coin flips. A spinning enziguri drops Kofi and there’s the hot tag to Jimmy so house can be cleaned. Normally the fans are a bit more enthusiastic about that but New Day is just WAY too popular here for fans to get behind the Usos.

Everything breaks down and a Whisper in the Wind gets two on Big E. A belly to belly gets the same on Jey but the spear through the ropes is blocked by a raised knee. Why not just step to the side? The second attempt works a bit better but it’s too early for the Midnight Hour. Jey superkicks Kofi into the Superfly Splash for two as a foot goes on the rope. Kofi eats another superkick but a blind tag brings in Big E. for the Big Ending to retain at 10:52.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get rolling but once everything broke down, it was as good as you would expect from these teams. New Day is clearly the future of the division despite being champs for nearly five months at this point. Catching a top rope splash out of the air is really impressive as the champs continue to show that they have the ring work to back up their charisma.

We look back at Brock Lesnar beating up the League of Nations, followed by Reigns spearing Brock. The Wyatts then beat Reigns and Brock up to make themselves a threat for later tonight.

The Wyatts say they’ll win the title for Bray tonight. Singing ensues.

US Title: Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Kalisto is challenging and they’ve been trading the title for a few weeks now. Kalisto starts fast with the strikes to send him outside for a suicide dive. Now you might think this is competitive, but JBL is right there to hammer in the ideas that David NEVER beats Goliath and that Kalisto is going to get destroyed. You know, in case you’re dumb enough to not get the idea here.

Back in and Del Rio kicks him down, followed by a top rope ax handle for two. That means JBL gets to talk about how fun it is to beat up luchadors. Two knees to the ribs have Kalisto in more trouble and it’s time to go after the mask. There’s some good heel psychology in there about someone with Del Rio knowing the tradition of the mask and going after it anyway but the announcers gloss over it.

Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and Kalisto gets the same off a springboard tornado DDT. Kalisto goes up top but gets caught in a reverse superplex. They HORRIBLY botch a Code Red (the sunset bomb) so Kalisto goes straight to the Salida Del Sol for two. Del Rio unhooks a turnbuckle pad and of course he goes into it, setting up another Salida Del Sol for the pin and the title at 11:32.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the commentary was driving me crazy here. JBL kept talking about how there was NO WAY the smaller guy could win and that’s exactly what we saw happening. There’s a difference between setting up an idea and just hammering it into the ground, which is what we had here. The match itself was fine but I do wonder how they screwed up Kalisto. He might not have been a future World Champion but he’s someone that could have been a fixture in the midcard. Instead, he’s just a guy on the roster because we needed to feed him to Rusev down the line. You know, to feed him to Reigns.

Pre-show recap.

Paul Heyman comes up to Stephanie and says they can renegotiate Lesnar’s contract after he wins the Rumble. Stephanie is cool with that as long as Reigns is taken to Suplex City. Why she hates Reigns isn’t clear but I’d assume it’s because she just feels like it at the moment.

Recap of Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch. They were best friends but Charlotte won the title and realized she didn’t need Becky anymore. Becky talked Ric Flair into accepting the title shot for his daughter and we’re ready to roll.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Charlotte is defending and has her dad with her. Feeling out process to start with Charlotte shouldering her down. Becky goes right for the arm and the fans are entirely behind her. The announcers explain the Figure Eight as Charlotte grabs an armbar of her own. Back up and a kick to the chest puts Charlotte on the floor where Ric gets in Becky’s way. A clothesline drops the champ again so Flair kisses Becky for your weekly case of sexual assault (edited off the Network).

Charlotte takes over and grabs a cravate as the fans are WAY behind Becky here. Like moreso than usual. Thankfully Charlotte mocks the chants before doing the headscissor faceplants followed by the Figure Four necklock. Becky gets out and starts firing off dropkicks to take over but a neckbreaker puts Charlotte right back in control.

The Bexploder gets two and Charlotte’s spear gets the same. You can hear Flair freaking out as only he can and it wouldn’t be the same without that screaming. Becky gets a cross armbreaker out of the corner and the fans get right back into this, only to have a powerbomb break the hold to give Charlotte two. The Disarm-Her goes on but Flair throws his jacket at Becky for the distraction, allowing Charlotte to get another spear to retain at 11:34.

Rating: B. Another good match between the two of them but I’m really starting to roll my eyes at Flair’s interference. We get the concept already and there’s no need to keep doing it over and over. At some point Charlotte needs to drop him and once that happens, she’s going to go through the roof, which would turn out to be in a bigger way than anyone could have expected.

Charlotte beats on Becky post match but here’s Sasha Banks for the save and Bank Statement on the champ. Cole: “Sasha Banks making a statement with the Bank Statement!” I bet he spent two weeks coming up with that one.

Some fans went to the Performance Center under the ruse of being part of a focus group. The wound up getting to meet a full tour of the facility and met most of the NXT roster. Note to self: sign up for focus groups.

Rumble By the Numbers video, which is still one of my favorite annual traditions. This is tied in with the stats that Reigns, who is entering at #1, has to overcome to retain the title.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

Reigns is defending and comes in at #1, making the tagline One vs. All. We have 90 second intervals here and that’s rarely a good thing. I had forgotten about Reigns’ through the crowd entrance and how unfitting it was. Can you imagine him trying to pull that today without getting pummeled? Anyway Reigns is in at #2 and Rusev is in at #2, which is smart as they had an awesome final section to a battle royal on Smackdown back in 2015. They start slugging it out and even JBL knows they can’t keep up this pace. Rusev gets in a spinwheel kick but can’t throw him out. Well not over the top at least as he sends Roman through the ropes instead. The spear however is enough to put Rusev out as the clock begins.

And then, in perhaps the dumbest production decision I’ve ever seen in WWE, the camera stays on Reigns’ face as AJ STYLES makes his debut at #3. Like literally, the camera just locks in on Reigns as the crowd freaks out. They even posted a different cut of this on the WWE YouTube page because it was such a stupid visual. Thanks to the entrance taking forever, we only have time for AJ to not be able to hit the Styles Clash and a Samoan drop planting AJ.

Tyler Breeze is in at #4 and the fans are COMPLETELY behind AJ, which isn’t all that surprising. Breeze scores with a few right hands before a pretty unnecessary double team gets rid of him. Curtis Axel (with the WAY too over Social Outcasts) is in at #5 to send AJ into the buckle, earning himself some forearms to the face. Reigns gets back up and the Outcasts are beaten down until AJ clotheslines Axel out (JBL: “The chains are back on.”). Chris Jericho is in at #6 and we’ve got a snappy triple threat going here.

AJ gets knocked down and Reigns is sent into the post, leaving Styles to have to fight out of the Walls. Kane is in at #7 and Cole is WAY too fast to call him the greatest performer in the Rumble’s history. Wouldn’t it have helped if he had actually WON THE THING a time or two Cole? Styles goes right after the monster but gets kicked down and all four head to a corner until Goldust is in at #8. Not a lot happens here other than the fans chanting for AJ even more because he debuted as a star, which only a handful of people get to do. Ryback is in at #9 and gets to clean house without eliminating anyone.

AJ clotheslines Reigns in the corner to another big pop and it’s Kofi Kingston in at #10 (with New Day staying at ringside) so we can just start the clock for the big save. At the moment we have Reigns, Styles, Jericho, Kane, Goldust, Ryback and Kingston. AJ comes off the top to hit Jericho and it’s Titus O’Neil in at #11. Styles and Jericho take backbreakers and Goldust is tossed. Kofi almost gets rid of Reigns and is somehow even more popular than he’s been all night.

R-Truth is in at #12 and of course he pulls out a ladder and climbs up to retrieve….nothing. I forgot how much I enjoyed Truth’s confused gimmick. Kane pulls him down and tosses him out before throwing the ladder out as a bonus. A clothesline puts Kofi over the top and right onto Big E.’s shoulders for the big save. Eh not as good as some I’ve seen but you can’t have a classic every year. Luke Harper is in at #13 and here are Vince and the League of Nations to pull Roman to the floor (under the ropes of course). The champ is sent into the steps and kicked in the face by multiple members of the team.

This goes on so long that Stardust comes in at #14. Rusev splashes Reigns through the table as we have NO IDEA what is going on in the ring during all this. While we were gone, Jericho eliminated Kingston which was of course ignored by the announcers. Now for the stupid part: Vince and the Nation JUST LEAVES.

Like, they don’t throw him inside and then back out. They don’t pay someone off to get rid of Reigns. They don’t do anything but leave while Reigns is taken out on a stretcher. You would think Vince would have learned his lesson from Steve Austin in 1999 but he’s a heel so this is just really stupid instead of head caving in stupid. Big Show comes in at #15 and eliminates Titus and Ryback, giving us a lineup of Reigns (being taken out), Styles, Jericho, Kane, Harper, Stardust and Show. Reigns is now walking in front of the stretcher, making this even less of a good idea.

Styles escapes a chokeslam and it’s Neville in at #16. The rapid fire kicks stagger some people as Reigns is shown WALKING TO THE BACK UNDER HIS OWN POWER. What a hero he certainly is. Braun Strowman is in at #17 and hopefully some people are about to be tossed. Strowman casually eliminates Kane and has the showdown with Big Show. The standing choke (what a stupid move) knocks Show out and Strowman eliminates him a few seconds later.

A limping Kevin Owens is in at #18 and that’s good for one heck of a pop. Styles is there to meet him and you know the fans are into that. Neville throws AJ to the apron and Kevin adds a superkick to get rid of Styles, making himself a full on heel once again. Dean Ambrose is in at #19 and Owens is waiting on him to keep up the brawl from earlier. Since there’s nothing like a Royal Rumble for the World Title going on, let’s look at the Reigns beatdown from earlier.

Sami Zayn is in at #20 for a main roster cameo and of course he goes after Owens in a slugout. Kevin is gone in a hurry and we’ve got Reigns (not in the ring), Harper, Stardust, Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Neville and Strowman. Erick Rowan joins the field at #21 as the Wyatts are strong in this one. Harper and Rowan get together to get rid of Stardust and Neville as Strowman chokes Jericho out.

Mark Henry is in at #22 and is eliminated by the Wyatts in less than a minute. Strowman tosses Sami leaving Ambrose and Jericho to fight the monsters. Cole: “I don’t see any help coming anytime soon.” The clock is ticking down as he says this so you know it’s going to be someone big. As you might expect, Brock Lesnar is in at #23 and the place just goes NUTS.

It’s time for some suplexes with Harper and Rowan flying across the ring (not eliminated). It takes three clotheslines to drop Strowman and there goes Rowan. Harper takes a German suplex but Brock can’t suplex Strowman. Now THAT is a rub. Braun goes shoulder first into the post and another clothesline puts him down. Jack Swagger is in at #24 and lasts about fifteen seconds before Lesnar gets rid of him. More suplexes abound as Lesnar is rapidly running out of things to do.

The Miz is in at #25, giving us Reigns (you know the drill by now), Jericho, Harper, Strowman, Ambrose, Lesnar and Miz, who walks around for a bit before going in to face Brock. He actually gets on commentary and threatens to turn Disney World into Mizney World. Harper takes another German suplex and Strowman gets shouldered in the corner. That’s enough to get rid of Harper and Alberto Del Rio is in at #26. Alberto and Dean double team Lesnar in the corner and are promptly launched across the ring. Some clotheslines get rid of Strowman and the fans are VERY pleased.

Bray Wyatt gets lucky #27 and the other three Wyatts all get back in to pummel Brock. Brock tosses the three eliminated guys out again and suplexes Bray but Harper saves the F5 with a kick to the chest (or face if you’re Cole). Unlike Vince and the League (who did almost the same thing earlier), Bray is smart enough to ELIMINATE BROCK, who responds by……calmly walking away instead of, you know, breaking people in half and making a throw rug out of their entrails.

Dolph Ziggler is in at #28 and it’s FINALLY time for Miz to get in. A Skull Crushing Finale plants Dolph but Miz can’t put him out. Sheamus is in at #29 but Reigns jumps him in the aisle, over twenty four minutes after he left and over HALF AN HOUR after the beatdown started. Naturally he’s booed out of the building but still manages to get rid of Del Rio. I get that they’re trying to repeat the 1999 Royal Rumble and ignoring the fact that they’re copying the worst Rumble of all time, but there’s a big stretch between the biggest star of all time and Roman Reigns.

Anyway Roman fights Bray for a bit and it’s HHH in at #30 for one of the most obvious “swerves” in recent history. The final group is Reigns, Jericho, Ambrose, Wyatt, Ziggler, Sheamus and HHH, who gets a HUGE pop because the fans have a way out of Reigns winning the whole thing. Why the announcers have HHH stats despite him being A COMPLETE SURPRISE isn’t clear but we’ll chalk it up to the regular way of making it clear that this is entirely staged.

HHH and Reigns do the big staredown and the top heel is suddenly the big hero because that’s how little people care about Reigns. Ziggler charges into a Pedigree like a goof and Wyatt takes a spear so Reigns can have equal power. The facebuster looks to set up a Pedigree on Reigns but Sheamus and Ambrose throw them both to the apron. Jericho bulldogs Bray down and hits a Lionsault but takes a Zig Zag. A superkick can’t knock HHH off the apron and he gets back in to eliminate Ziggler a few seconds later.

Bray and HHH have a very interesting staredown which isn’t likely to go anywhere. Sheamus saves HHH from Sister Abigail and Bray is tossed. Dean and Sheamus fight for a bit until Jericho dives on Ambrose. A Codebreaker puts HHH down but Dean eliminates Jericho to get us down to four. Dean eats a Brogue Kick but sidesteps a charge to get rid of Sheamus, followed by HHH eliminating Reigns to the pop of the night.

So we’re down to Ambrose vs. HHH and Reigns stays on the floor instead out helping his buddy due to a combination of stupidity, honor and plot convenience. The rebound lariat (which Cole calls, I kid you not, the Wacky Line) has HHH in trouble and Dean sends him to the apron, only to be backdropped to the floor to make HHH the winner and champion at 1:01:42.

Rating: A-. This one took a good while to get going but once Reigns left, everything picked up. That’s where everything starts falling apart. This match is all about Reigns and the problem is very simple: people don’t seem to like him. It says a lot that Jericho lasted 51 minutes and Reigns officially went 58 though only one of them needed half an hour of rest. That right there is proof positive that Reigns probably isn’t going to be get cheered most of the time. This made him look very lame and that’s one of the worst things you can do to a star. Having him WALK OUT OF THE ARENA was just horrible and the worst possible idea.

The rest of the match was pretty awesome though as you had everyone fighting over the title. Unfortunately there are some major holes, such as Brock just walking away and having to wait for Reigns to come back. It’s not the best Rumble of all time as Reigns loomed over the whole thing but having the title on the line was a great idea and something I wish they did more often than every twenty four years. Give us some better options for the possible winner and ANYTHING other than Reigns vs. HHH as the big story and this is one of the best of all time.

HHH and family celebrate as fireworks take us out.

Overall Rating: A. This was a one match show and anything else worth watching on the show (such as the opener) was going to be more than enough to make this awesome. While it wound up setting the stage for the worst Wrestlemania in a long time, at least we have an awesome Royal Rumble to get us there. WWE had a lot of potential at this point, especially considering all the injuries they had at the time. It’s a strong Rumble, assuming you ignore the completely backwards reactions for Reigns.

Ratings Comparison

Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Original: B

Redo: B+

New Day vs. Usos

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Original: C

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch:

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

What was up with me hating the women like that?

Here’s the original rating if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/01/24/royal-rumble-2016-this-rumble-game-thing/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a really odd entry in the series as the namesake match is being treated as secondary to almost everything else. Really, coming into this show, there’s a good argument to be made that Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie is being treated as a bigger deal than the Rumble itself. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard montage of wrestlers talking about what it means to go to Wrestlemania because the road starts tonight.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

The winner is in the Rumble and the loser is out in the cold. They do the customary exchange of shoves to start with the fans almost entirely behind Lesnar. Brock drives him into the corner to little avail but the belly to belly works a bit better. A second works just as well but the third is countered with a scary toss over the top. Back in and we hit the choke, which you can tell is serious because Cole starts talking about Show’s shoe size.

Brock comes right back with the release German suplex but Heyman offers a distraction to break things up. A big boot and side slam drop Lesnar for all of ten seconds before he’s back up with an other belly to belly. Cue Heyman but he gets caught in an F5 attempt, only to have Show make the save with a chokeslam for two. A second attempt is countered into a sloppy F5 to send Lesnar to the Rumble.

Rating: D+. It was short (less than seven minutes) and had the only possible ending (it’s not like there are many other potential Rumble winners) so it’s hard to complain that much. The F5 didn’t look great but it was how the match should have ended. This probably needs to be about it for Big Show as a main event guy but you know that’s not going to be the case, which is part of the problem on Smackdown.

Chris Jericho is ready to win the Rumble and gets his World Title back at Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Regal and Storm are defending. Bubba punches Storm in the corner to start and hits something like a spinebuster. To really mix things up, Bubba grabs a leglock for a few seconds before handing it off to D-Von. Regal comes in and gets punched as well as this isn’t exactly shaking the feeling that it’s a glorified Raw match. The champs take over on D-Von with Storm drop toeholding him down into a sliding knee from Regal (nice spot).

We hit the cravate for a bit and a chinlock keeps D-Von in trouble. That doesn’t last long either though as D-Von fights up and makes the hot tag to Bubba for the house cleaning. Regal takes What’s Up but here’s Chief Morely for a distraction to prevent the 3D. It doesn’t quite work so well though as D-Von uses the distraction to grab Regal’s brass knuckles and knock Storm silly for the pin and the titles. Lawler: “I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.” He’s confused enough to refer to Regal as Steve.

Rating: C-. This was just a Raw match with a title change and considering Booker T. and Goldust never even got a rematch after losing the titles, I have no idea what the thinking here is. Were Booker and Goldust really that bad of a team? I know it’s a sin to get over without the company swearing off on it but it’s some of the oddest booking of the year.

House show ads. They didn’t edit this off the Network? I like having the complete versions but it’s a strange choice to keep in.

Nathan Jones vignette.

We get a long recap of the Al Wilson Saga, which still doesn’t make much sense and went on WAY too long if this is their big idea. Basically Dawn Marie decided she wanted to destroy Torrie Wilson’s life (I think?) by marrying Torrie’s father. She eventually went through with it but had so much, ahem, fun with Al on their honeymoon that he died.

Dawn blames Torrie for this and the match is on, even though it was booked before Al died. If this was all some big con by Dawn, what does she get out of it? Getting a match with Torrie? She seems upset and we haven’t gotten any scene of Dawn saying it was all made up so I guess we’re supposed to take it at face value. I know I harp on this a lot but I still don’t get how this was supposed to work.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn is in regular ring gear and a black veil, which makes her look more like Jimmy Jack Funk (from the neck up) than anything else. Dawn elbows her in the face at the bell but Torrie takes her down as well as these two are going to be able to do. Torrie gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar as the announcers cover the story in detail. Well the recent part at least as basically everything after Armageddon has been forgotten at this point.

Dawn stays on the arm (that’ll teach Torrie for killing Dawn’s husband) and grabs a flapjack. They collide in a bad looking spot and the boring chants begin. Dawn actually hits a decent looking middle rope spinning clothesline, only to fall victim to that horrible swinging neckbreaker to give Torrie the pin.

Rating: F. Really, what else were you expecting here? The feud was as soap opera level as you’re going to have and the wrestlers are both models and little more. Somehow that’s about as much as you could have thought these two would do and hopefully it wraps up the story for good. I know it won’t but it would be nice.

Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon run into each other in the back with Stephanie being smug about Eric’s thirty days to fix Raw deal. Eric asks if her job is safe too but she doesn’t seem worried, partially because she has her own surprise for Raw. As with most cases of both GM’s on screen at once, this was a big waste of time.

Sean O’Haire tells us not to go to church.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. HHH. Steiner showed up in November and was immediately shoved into the title picture but hasn’t actually had a match yet. Instead it’s been stuff like a posedown, a bench press contest (which didn’t happen), arm wrestling and a pushup contest. The idea is that Steiner can do everything HHH can and might also be completely insane. The fact that they’ve barely been allowed to get physical should be a bit worrisome but HHH wouldn’t let us down.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is challenging and HHH is in the ultra rare red trunks. Before the bell, Hebner holds up the title and insists that he’s the law around here no matter what. Steiner wins the early slugout and chops away in the corner, followed by the gorilla press to send HHH rolling to the floor. The champ’s back is sent into the post a few times and a hard Irish whip makes his back even worse.

We hit a Boston crab for a bit with HHH crawling to the ropes a few seconds later. That’s not very noteworthy, but Steiner falling over when the hold is broken isn’t the most encouraging sign. The facebuster is no sold and we hit a quickly broken bearhug. Steiner gets in the first belly to belly for two and Flair pulls him out to the floor.

Back in and Steiner charges into a boot to the face before being sent into the steps for good measure. HHH stomps and chokes in the corner with Flair adding choking of his own. Another neckbreaker gets two for the champ and you can see how winded Steiner already is. Flair chokes on the ropes again to fill in as much time as possible before Steiner reverses the Pedigree.

Scott catapults him into the buckle and grabs the second overhead suplex….before just collapsing next to the ropes. We’re not even nine minutes into the match and the guy can’t even stand up. Steiner picks him up for what looks like a Tombstone and you would think he was about to go into labor. HHH slips out and tries a Diamond Cutter but Steiner goes backwards with it like a regular neckbreaker. After all those years of working with Diamond Dallas Page he can’t take a standard face first bump?

You can hear the crowd losing their patience with this one. Flair plays cheerleader and the fans actually cheer for HHH, who may be boring but he’s at least looking competent here. The champ dives into another overhead suplex but Steiner still can’t follow up. Some Steiner Lines set up suplexes four, five and six, followed by a spinning version for two.

Steiner tries a tiger bomb and falls down, drawing straight up booing from the fans. The announcers are trying as hard as they can to make Steiner sound like a threat here and it’s going as badly as you would expect. HHH heads up top so it’s a superplex for two more. That’s enough to send HHH and Flair up the aisle but Steiner isn’t done yet and drags them back. As lame as an ending as that would be, it was the right call at this point.

A belt shot to HHH’s head draws some blood and they continue to stagger around ringside with no idea what to do. Another belly to belly (ninth suplex total) sends HHH outside again and they brawl into the crowd because THIS MATCH JUST CAN’T END. Back in again with Steiner doing the pushups and laboring through some right hands in the corner. Now Flair tries to get the referee to stop the match but the referee keeps going because he’s that kind of evil.

Steiner hates the match as much as everyone else does so he throws Hebner outside but THAT’S NOT A DQ EITHER. The tenth suplex gets two and you can see Steiner looking desperate. HHH gets in a low blow and rolls Steiner up for two. That’s FINALLY enough for HHH as he grabs sledgehammer and hits Scott in the ribs for the DQ, earning a chorus of boos that would make Roman Reigns proud.

Rating: N. For Not HHH’s Fault. For once, this can’t be blamed on HHH, who was just stuck in a horrible situation and couldn’t do anything with it. To be fair though, no one was going to be able to get anything passable out of this mess. Steiner wasn’t ready for this match and had no business going more than five minutes, let alone eighteen. The interesting thing here though is the first eight minutes ran more than well enough. It was a boring start but it was nowhere near a disaster or even really bad. The problem is the second half of the match where EVERYTHING falls apart.

You’ll hear a lot of comparisons between this Steiner and Brock Lesnar’s Suplex City but the key is in the delivery. Lesnar suplexes the heck out of people and then pops up to do it again. Steiner was suplexing HHH here and then taking twenty seconds to get to his feet out of pure exhaustion. When you can see wrestlers go twenty minutes without even breathing hard, there’s no excuse for a main eventer nearly passing out from exhaustion in the first ten minutes. There’s a reason this is remembered so horribly and it more than lives down to its reputation.

Post match Steiner hits him with the sledgehammer and grabs the Steiner Recliner. JR: “There’s no way out of this hold.” In other words, yes they’re actually doing a rematch. Bischoff eventually comes out and gets Steiner off of HHH as the fans are so apathetic towards any of this.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle. Kurt won the title with help from his new agent Paul Heyman, who also represents Big Show. Benoit beat Show to become the new #1 contender and you know this is going to be a classic no matter what. That being said, there’s not much of a secret to the fact that they’re building towards Lesnar vs. Angle at this point. At least we can have an incredible match on the way there.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending. Benoit has to deal with Team Angle to start so that’s a double ejection. Chris tries a very quick Sharpshooter (which Tazz calls a Boston crab for some reason), sending Angle outside for a breather. Back in and another leg hold sends Angle to the ropes as it seems that they have a long time here.

Benoit easily wins a battle of the chops and gets two off a clothesline to the back of the head. A DDT onto the apron makes things even worse but Angle rolls away from the Swan Dive. The Angle Slam is reversed though and we hit the Sharpshooter. Angle grabs the ropes as well as a belly to belly (after that last match, I’m surprised those weren’t banned like bar stools on Frasier) to really take over for the first time.

We hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors on Benoit for a bit before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up and they trade German suplexes with Benoit getting the better of it. Chris takes too long going up top though and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly superplex. The Crossface goes on a few seconds later with Benoit switching to the ankle lock (that’s like a Bingo space in an Angle match).

Kurt’s ankle lock is reversed into the Crossface which is reversed into a rollup which is reversed right back into the Crossface. Angle gets to his feet for an Angle Slam but there’s no cover. There go the straps though and it’s back to the ankle lock. Benoit gets two off a rollup as the announcers are losing their minds (rightfully so).

Kurt is sick of this submission stuff and tries a German suplex, only to have Benoit reverse into a release version, drawing quite the round of applause. With Angle three quarters of the way across the ring, Benoit hits the best looking Swan Dive I’ve ever seen for a delayed two. Angle grabs a powerbomb but drops Benoit face first onto the buckle, followed by another Slam for two.

We’re right back to the Crossface but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock which can’t be reversed this time. Benoit kicks him away instead, only to get caught in the ankle lock again. Chris tries to pull him into the Crossface but Angle holds on and gets the grapevine to FINALLY make Benoit tap because he was beaten and he knew it.

Rating: A+. I’ve seen this match several times now and I’m still exhausted just watching it. These guys were beating the heck out of each other with everything looking anywhere from great to unbelievable (that Swan Dive in particular). This was outstanding stuff and one of the best wrestling matches I’ve ever seen. There’s also a bit of a HHH vs. Cactus Jack vibe to it with Angle being backed into a corner and having to fight, only to prove that he is indeed the better man, at least on this night. Check this out if you haven’t seen it in awhile, or just because it’s worth seeing multiple times.

After an Anthology ad, Benoit gets the big standing ovation, which probably should have sent him to a World Title shot (at least) at Wrestlemania. Instead it was a spot in a three way for the Tag Team Titles because that’s how WWE worked in 2003.

Rob Van Dam and Kane agree that it’s every man for himself tonight.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals (though Fink says two minutes) with Shawn Michaels at #1 and Chris Jericho at #2. If nothing else, at least Shawn is starting to look like a wrestler again instead of the tiny thing he was back at Survivor Series. Actually hang on a second as it’s Christian in Jericho’s clothes instead of Chris himself. Cue Jericho from underneath the ring to hit Shawn low. One heck of a beatdown ensues with Jericho busting Shawn open with a chair as Christopher Nowinski is in at #3. He’s willing to stay on the floor while Jericho beats on Shawn some more and easily eliminates him.

Nowinski is still on the floor as Rey Mysterio is in at #4. Rey tries to speed things up and slips out of a gorilla press, only to get punched out to the apron. As usual, Jericho celebrates early and gets dropkicked into the ropes. Nowinski FINALLY gets in and it’s Edge in at #5. Outside of Nowinski, that’s quite the first four. Spears abound as Rey gets back into it and Nowinski is sent outside but not eliminated.

Jericho is sent into the post and through the ropes to the floor. Rey and Edge shake hands and go at it with Rey hitting the 619 but he gets powerbombed to put both guys down. It’s Christian in at #6 with an offer to reform the team with Edge. That earns him a spear but here’s Nowinski to throw Edge and Mysterio to the apron. Chavo Guerrero is in at #7 as the Smackdown is strong with this Rumble.

Rey and Chavo do a quick lucha sequence with the 619 setting up a springboard seated senton. Christian eats a 619 of his own, followed by a hurricanrana to get rid of Nowinski. Jericho comes back in for a hard clothesline to get rid of Mysterio and here’s Tajiri in at #8. Things settle down a bit with Chavo choking Jericho in the corner and Tajiri not being able to eliminate Christian.

Bill DeMott is in at #9 and attacks various people in short order. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled here as we’re waiting on the big name to clean out some of these names. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 to give us Dreamer, Jericho, Edge, Christian, Chavo, Tajiri and DeMott. Dreamer brings weapons with him and Edge knocks DeMott out with a kendo stick. Jericho and Christian hit a con-trashcanlid-o on Dreamer and get rid of him without much effort. Tajiri takes them both down with a handspring elbow but the Tarantula is easily broken up, allowing Jericho to get rid of him.

B2, still with the Cena entrance theme, is in at #11…and Edge gets rid of him in less than thirty seconds. Chavo is speared out next, followed by a bloody Jericho (from a Dreamer kendo stick shot) dumping Edge and Christian to leave himself all alone. Rob Van Dam is in at #12 because Edge/Van Dam vs. Christian/Jericho was out of the question for some reason. A superkick has Jericho in trouble and he’s catapulted all the way to the apron. Matt Hardy, who strongly dislikes mustard, is in at #13 and drops Rob with a Side Effect.

Van Dam gets double teamed for a bit until he flips over Jericho and kicks Matt in the face for good measure. The Five Star hits Jericho and it’s Eddie Guerrero in at #14. We get a rehash of Eddie vs. Van Dam from last year until Matt helps Eddie set up an ugly frog splash. That earns Eddie a Twist of Fate (Eddie is smarter than that) and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #15.

Jeff doesn’t buy the reunion idea either (like anyone would buy a Hardys reunion in 2003 or beyond) and beats Matt up, only to have Shannon Moore dive onto Matt to save him from a Swanton. That’s fine with Jeff so he crushes both of them as Rosey is in at #16. Matt gets backdropped to the apron as the eliminations have slowed WAY down. Test is in at #17 and gets to clean house a bit without eliminating anyone. You know, because Rosey needs to stick around.

A rapping John Cena is in at #18 giving reasons why he’s going to win this. The camera stays on him and for once it’s not the biggest problem as nothing is going on in the ring. Van Dam beats him up on the floor (maybe for wrestling in jeans instead of jean shorts for a change) and it’s Charlie Haas in at #19. Where are Lesnar and Undertaker to clear these people out? Jeff tries to run up the corner so Rob eliminates him, still leaving us with far too many people.

Rikishi is in at #20, giving us Rikishi, Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Matt Hardy, Eddie Guerrero, Rosey, Test, Cena and Haas. Rosey and Rikishi have a weird family reunion as Shannon comes in to protect Matt. That just earns him a double Stinkface, or at least it would have if Rosey hadn’t clotheslined Rikishi instead. Jamal is in at #21 to superkick Rikishi, who pops right back up with a Stinkface for his…..brother I believe.

Kane is in at #22 to clean house but he brings Rico in with a chokeslam to fill the ring up even more. Rosey is tossed in a hurry and it’s a double chokeslam for Matt and Shannon. Shelton Benjamin is in at #23 as the ring is WAY too full with eleven people in there, plus Shannon and Rico at various times. They all fight near the ropes and it’s Booker T. in at #24. We go to a weird closeup for an ax kick on Kane and there’s the Spinarooni. Eddie gets backdropped out and it’s A-Train in at #25.

A good looking A-Train Bomb (chokebomb) plants Cena and another one hits Van Dam but Rikishi superkicks A-Train in the face. Jericho is sent to the apron AGAIN but here’s a bandaged Shawn to go after Jericho, allowing Test to knock him out. Shawn stays on Jericho and that’s a Wrestlemania match. Maven is in at #26 (because this match needed two Tough Enough names) and goes after Kane as things slow down again. Goldust is in at #27 and doesn’t even last a minute before Team Angle puts him out. They do the same to Booker T. a few seconds later, making sure that the Booker T./Goldust team is swiftly beaten again.

Batista is in at #28 and gets rid of Test (after EIGHTEEN MINUTES, or longer than Edge and Mysterio combined) and Rikishi. Brock Lesnar is in at #29 and becomes the most obvious winner since….well last year with HHH actually. He wastes no time in getting rid of Team Angle before throwing Matt onto both of them. Now that’s how you clear out some bodies. Undertaker is in at #30 to give us a final group of Undertaker, Van Dam, Cena, Jamal, Kane, A-Train, Maven, Batista and Lesnar. Not the worst field actually.

Undertaker dumps Cena (Which could have set up a heck of a Wrestlemania match today but we wanted a reality show moment instead. Yes you did want that and Kevin Dunn told me so.) and Jamal (Why was he still there?) before Maven hits the same dropkick as last year. This time there’s no effect though, making Maven’s celebration a bit amusing.

After Maven is launched out, A-Train hits the A-Train Bomb on Undertaker. Van Dam and Kane get rid of A-Train and we’re down to five. Kane loads up Rob in a gorilla press….and throws him out in a smart move (not a heel turn). Batista and Kane are put down with a double clothesline and it’s time for Lesnar vs. Undertaker.

That’s broken up before anything can happen though and the Brothers of Destruction start taking over. Brock takes care of Batista and Kane so we can have the Undertaker showdown. The F5 is countered and Brock takes a Tombstone, followed by Undertaker dumping Batista and Kane. Batista comes back in and eats a chair shot, leaving Brock to eliminate Undertaker for the win.

Rating: B. There was a REALLY bad dead spot in the middle and some of the choices were all over the place (Test, Jamal and Rikishi all getting over fourteen minutes while Los Guerreros, Edge and Mysterio were all afterthoughts) but the ending was the right call. The final four wasn’t a bad group at all and having Lesnar dump Undertaker to win is as good a move as they could have made.

There was VERY little build to this match and they did well enough with it while they could. It’s not a terrible Rumble but there are many better options. Fix the middle part and get rid of people at a faster clip and it’s a great one, but as it is it’s just pretty good. Then again, for this year that’s quite the compliment.

The big problem here though is how weak the midcard and lower card is. Maybe it’s just the way some of them were booked but aside from Lesnar, Undertaker and MAYBE Jericho, was anyone a real threat to win here? Having an obvious winner is fine but it would be nice to build up someone else as a possible winner.

Overall Rating: B-. The World Title matches cancel each other out and thankfully the Rumble is there to make up for a nothing lower card. Lesnar winning was the obvious ending here and that left the rest of the show to really carry things. Angle vs. Benoit is must see and Steiner vs. HHH may be as well if you’re into unintentional comedy. The rest of the show though…..egads there’s nothing to see there. It’s a perfectly good show but the problems are very big and the Rumble isn’t good enough to make it a classic.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

2013 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: D+

Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: C-

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Original: DD

2013 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: F

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-

2013 Redo: H (For HHH)

2017 Redo: N (For Not HHH’s Fault)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: B-

This is a rare instance where the original is much closer to the new ratings than the first redo. Maybe I was in a bad mood that day?

You can read the original review here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2003-best-match-ever/

And the 2013 redo here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1997
Date: January 19, 1997
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 60,235
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’m scared to think how many of those tickets were freebies. This is the annual requested redo and I’m not sure what to expect going into it. Well I am as I’ve seen the show multiple times but it’s been awhile. The main event is of course Shawn Michaels vs. Sid II because we need the big hometown moment. Those actually existed back in 1997. Let’s get to it.

When reviewing the classic moments of the Royal Rumble from 1997 to 2017, you can design the players’ signature moves and favorite wrestling moments into Custom Coins that will be transformed into eternal treasures.

You can also engrave your favorite players’ signatures, classic quotes, and even exclusive numbers. Each coin is a time capsule that carries not only the highlights of the event but also your deep resonance with wrestling culture.

You can recall the excitement and glory of the time through the design, text, or pattern on the coin and enhance your love and loyalty to wrestling.

As you might expect, the opening video is all about Shawn because it’s 1997. The title win at Wrestlemania was nice at all but his defining moment came at Survivor Series when he showed compassion for Jose Lothario instead of trying to retain the title. Well to be fair that would be defining as it meant Shawn actually lost a title match instead of vacating the title so maybe they’re on to something.

The announcers preview the show and Lawler is VERY excited about the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

This is one of my least favorite matches ever. Helmsley is defending against a freshly face Goldust. Basically everyone thought Goldust was gay but he confirmed that he wasn’t, which sent HHH after Marlena for some reason. Mr. Hughes makes his debut as HHH’s short lived bodyguard/butler which is code for bodyguard/Chyna is on the way.

Goldust jumps him in the aisle and hammers away in the corner until a quick atomic drop gets us to even. A catapult sends HHH outside as the crowd is really, really quiet here. I’m not sure if it’s the place being huge or the fans being bored but it’s not working so far. Goldust sends him into the steps, causing JR to suggest we might get a DQ. I mean, we probably won’t this early but points for doing your job.

They keep using the steps with HHH bouncing off them and now Lawler thinks it should be a DQ. Vince talks about some fans who had been trying to talk to Shawn for weeks being thrown out of the building. That’s one of those things that doesn’t really hold up over time as they just gloss over it and expect us to know what he’s talking about. It makes sense at the time but there are probably better things to talk about during a title match on pay per view.

HHH actually comes off the top with an ax handle but a running knee hits the barricade. As JR asks about a DQ again, Goldust starts in on the knee like a good challenger should. We hit a Figure Four as this is already dragging horribly. The knee goes into the steps again as the announcers are wondering why the referee is letting so much go. Back in and Goldust misses a crossbody (called a high risk by JR) to send him outside as HHH takes over again.

The referee FINALLY does something by taking away the director’s chair before HHH can swing it (Lawler: “Why didn’t you do something about those stairs earlier?”) and they head back in. The match is so boring that we actually cut over to an interview with a country singer in the audience. That’s getting up there on the all time boredom scale and the dead crowd seems to agree.

HHH misses the kneedrop and hurts his leg again in the process but he’s still able to roll away from a Macho Elbow. Hughes, likely as bored as the rest of us, throws in the title but HHH would rather kiss Marlena. That earns him a belt shot to the head, only to have Hughes pull HHH out at two. Of course that’s not a DQ so Goldust goes after Hughes, setting up the Pedigree for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: F+. Oh yeah this is still bad and still one of the worst matches I can ever remember to open the show. It’s too long, too boring and completely uninteresting. This really needed to have about seven minutes chopped off and far less using the steps. I dread this match every time I watch the show and that hasn’t changed a bit.

Bret Hart is used to being the marked man in a match so the Royal Rumble will be no different.

Mankind talks about the Rumble being a chance to hurt a lot of people that he doesn’t like as well as some that he does. It’s going to be a very nice day.

Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson

Faarooq injured Johnson back in 1996 and it’s finally time for the grudge match in a feud that felt like it went on for the better part of forever. There are at least ten members of the Nation of Domination here, including a few actors who exist for the sole purpose of making the group bigger. As you might expect, Ahmed erupts to start and beats Faarooq down in the corner before sending him into the post. Where’s the OUTRAGE from the announcers over this blatant breaking of the rules?

A shot to the kidneys slows Johnson down and Faarooq calls for a belt, earning himself a clothesline in the process though. The brawl heads outside for a bit with neither being able to keep control all that long as you would expect in a brawl like this. A chair to the back keeps Ahmed in trouble and Faarooq opts to just kick him in the kidneys for good measure.

It’s off to the very logical reverse chinlock but Faarooq does the very stupid posing, allowing an electric chair to put him down. Faarooq comes right back with a spinebuster though, which JR calls a physical catch instead of a fair catch. Uh, right Jim. Ahmed pops up again and hits one of his own, meaning it’s time for the Nation to come in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Still not great but WAY better than the first, at least partially because it’s half the length of the opener. Johnson vs. Faarooq needed to be some big wild brawl, or maybe Johnson finding some partners to help him fight off the team. Like say the Legion of Doom in Chicago in a street fight. But for some reason the feud just kept going after that, which is probably why this feud isn’t the most fondly remembered.

Post match the Nation bails for some reason, leaving Ahmed to Pearl River Plunge one of them through a table.

Terry Funk thinks he can win because we’re in Texas. Nah, just one of those per show dude. Besides, Goldust is from Austin and look at what he got. Or don’t look actually as it’s too horrible for words. Or reviews for that matter.

Faarooq says he’ll take care of Ahmed in the Rumble because Johnson is an “Uncle Tom”.

Vader vs. Undertaker

There’s not much of a story here save for some back and forth attacks. We get the big long Undertaker entrance and as usual it looks amazing in the big stadium. They slug it out to start with Undertaker doing the sit up off a clothesline. The standing splash gets the exact same reaction and Vader is looking a bit worried.

The fight heads outside with Undertaker getting the better of it but Vader drops him ribs first across the top rope to take over again. Undertaker gets in a slam followed by a legdrop, which JR says is like no one has ever done. I’m sure that’s certainly not meant as a jab at anyone in particular second cousin twice removed.

Old School is broken up which JR says means Vader had it well scouted. Or Vader was smart enough to do ANYTHING when Undertaker was off balance and distracted? And now, let’s go INTERVIEW A FAN WHO SAVED UP TO COME TO THE SHOW. Lawler rips on Pettengill for wasting our time like that (amen brother) while Vader was pounding Undertaker about the head and shoulders (the body parts, not the shampoo).

We hit the lame nerve hold for a bit until Undertaker suplexes his way to freedom, leaving both guys down. Vader is up first and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a powerslam. That would be a lot more impressive if Ahmed hadn’t done the EXACT SAME THING, even from the same corner, to Faarooq in the previous match.

Vader’s powerbomb gets two but Old School drops him again….and here’s Paul Bearer. Undertaker gets in a chokeslam but makes the mistake of going after Paul. Vader tries for a save and avoids a dive off the steps, sending Undertaker ribs first into the barricade. Bearer adds an urn shot and it’s the Vader Bomb to put Undertaker away.

Rating: C-. I’m a fan of Undertaker slugging away at a monster so this was more entertaining than it probably should have been. Vader was in something close to a free fall after losing to Shawn at Summerslam so this was more of a comeback win than anything else. Undertaker vs. Bearer would continue for a very long time.

Vader leaves with Bearer and Undertaker beats up a referee.

Austin says he isn’t talking with anyone until he wins the Rumble.

British Bulldog is going to win because he’s bizarre. Yes, bizarre.

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Fuerza Guerrera/Heavy Metal

This is a AAA match because the company was willing to try ANYTHING to get people interested, including these guys that 99% of fans have never heard of before. I’ll do my best to have any idea who these people are and what’s going on here but bear with me. Estrada and Heavy Metal (who Vince things is Estrada) start things off do a technical sequence to start before it’s off to the ancient looking Aguayo vs. the very feathery looking Estrada.

The crowd is just GONE for this one as Canek’s middle rope crossbody gets on Guerrera. Fuerza misses a top rope crane kick Swanton (that’s an odd one) so Canek gets an easy two. Heavy Metal does a Tajiri handspring but stumbles through the elbow to drop Garza. Things speed up a bit but they still seem a few steps off to keep this from getting, you know, good.

We hit a stalemate and that means it’s time to shake hands and bring in Estrada and Canek. They start running the ropes but WAIT! Time for more tags. Metal avoids a Figure Four and we get down to a bit of a traditional tag formula with the focus on Metal’s leg. Guerrera tries to make a save but dropkicks Metal by mistake and everything breaks down. Garza gets in his corkscrew plancha and Aguayo’s top rope double stomp to the arm (meant to be ribs) finally ends Metal.

Rating: D. I’ll give them points for trying something different here but this didn’t work for me. The wrestling wasn’t great here and I really have no idea who these people are. It was a nice try at something new and when you’re in the depths that the company was in at this point it’s worth the shot but this was a big miss.

Attendance announcement.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals here and it’s Crush in at #1 and Ahmed in at #2. JR says Ahmed has a minute and a half to do whatever he wants to Crush. So Crush is stuck with his arms behind his back and isn’t allowed to fight back? They fight to the mat and the clock messes up so it’s Fake Razor Ramon in at #3, earning one heck of a booing. Thankfully Ahmed gets rid of the clown in about ten seconds but Faarooq shows up in the aisle, meaning Ahmed eliminates himself to go after him.

Thankfully (I think?) Phineas Godwinn is in at #4 to give us something to watch. It’s as thrilling of a brawl as you can imagine as Vince keeps talking about the clock issues, which means there’s no clock to be seen. Austin is in at #5 to wake the crowd up a bit and a middle rope clothesline is enough to allow Phineas to get rid of Crush. A Stunner gets rid of Phineas and it’s Bart Gunn in at #6. That lasts all of twenty six seconds before Austin is all alone again.

Jake Roberts is in at #7 and throws the snake bag in for a bonus. The DDT is loaded up but a backdrop gets rid of Jake, who is replaced by British Bulldog at #8. This goes a bit better with Bulldog pounding Austin down until Pierroth (AAA guy) is in at #9. The luchador gets double teamed until Bulldog wises up and turns on Austin. Sultan, whose music sounds like Pierroth’s, is in at #10 as they’re flying through this so far.

Bulldog puts Austin on the apron but gets poked in the eye for his efforts. We’ve got a clock now and the fans are into it again, which is a really good sign for the match. Mil Mascaras is in at #11 and you know he’s going to get his stuff in. HHH is in at #12 as there’s really not much going on in between these entrances. Bulldog gets rid of Sultan to clear the ring out a bit though it doesn’t do much to keep the crowd going. The middle rope middle finger elbow hits HHH and Owen Hart is in at #13.

Without much going on, Owen “accidentally” eliminates Bulldog, who really isn’t happy with his partner as a result. Goldust is in at #14 and everyone gangs up on him for some reason. Cibernetico (also from AAA) is in at #15 and is tossed almost as quickly, along with Pierroth. Marc Mero is in at #16 as Mascaras dives on Cibernetico to eliminate himself in the process (which I’m sure was a COMPLETE mistake), followed by Goldust tossing HHH. That leaves us with Hart, Austin, Mero and Goldust who are joined by Latin Lover at #17.

Lover gets in some basic stuff before Faarooq comes in at #18 to eliminate him. Cue Ahmed again for a 2×4 shot to Faarooq to get rid of him as well. Austin dumps Mero and Hart, leaving himself alone in the ring. Savio Vega, Austin’s old rival, is in at #19 and scores with a spinwheel kick. That’s about it though as Austin clotheslines him out to be alone again. Jesse James is next and while he lasts a bit longer than Vega, it’s still not even a minute before Austin gets rid of him. Austin sits on the middle rope…..and it’s BRET HART at #21, giving Austin one of the best OH DANG looks in wrestling history.

The key to him though: he sees Bret coming, shakes his head, and tells Bret to bring it on before starting the slug out. Notice that: he didn’t back down and came out swinging because that’s how Austin rolled. It wouldn’t fit Austin to panic and try to beg or something. Man against man, Austin thought he could beat anyone on the planet no matter what circumstances he was up against. That’s good storytelling and a big part of what made him a star.

Lawler is in at #22 and starts the “it takes a king” line before leaving. Two right hands later and he’s back on the floor four seconds later to finish the catchphrase. Vince: “Do you know you were just in the ring?” JR mentions that Bret said he should just be the WWF Champion coming into the show, which is a great example of how his heel turn took off.

Fake Diesel (as played by the future Kane) is in at #23 and at least he looks close enough to pass for a Nash look-a-like. From behind or at a distance, you could actually make a mistake. Fake Razor on the other hand wasn’t even close and that’s why he was booed while Diesel is greeted with general indifference. A few power moves keep everyone down until it’s Terry Funk in at #24. It says a lot when Kane is by far and away the fourth most successful wrestler in a match.

Rocky Maivia is in at #25 to make Kane even less important and of course he goes right after Austin for the sake of future issues. The slow pace continues until Mankind is in at #26, giving us Mankind, Austin, Rocky, Funk, Diesel and Hart. If there has ever been a better collection of talent at one point in the Rumble, I’ve yet to see it. Just DANG what a lineup here.

Flash Funk is in at #27 and Lawler wants the Funkettes. Bret piledrives the heck out of Austin and Flash dives off the top to take out Diesel and Terry. Vader is in at #28 as I start to miss people wrestling earlier in the show and still being in the Royal Rumble. For some reason Flash makes the mistake of going after him, only to get pummeled down in a hurry. Henry Godwinn is in at #29 to bring the talent WAY down in a hurry.

The big Henry actually clotheslines Vader down as JR compares Lawler’s entrant to Bushwhacker Luke’s 1991 entrance. Oh come on. Lawler lasted TWICE as long as Luke. Undertaker completes the field at #30, giving us a final group of Undertaker, Austin, Hart, Terry Funk, Flash Funk, Diesel, Maivia, Vader, Godwinn and Mankind. Undertaker immediately punches Vader down before chokeslamming a few people.

The still unknown brothers have a bit of a fight as Vince calls Undertaker the favorite. Vader throws Flash out and we have Henry vs. Undertaker for a rather off brawl. Rocky almost has Bret out until Vader makes the save for no apparent reason. Austin and Funk chop each other half to death and probably have a blast doing so.

Undertaker throws Henry out and my jaw drops at the talent left in there. The final eight either already are or will be in the Hall of Fame one day. That’s INSANE and will likely never be even approached again. Mankind tosses Rocky and them pummels Terry before suplexing him out to the floor. Undertaker gets rid of Mankind, who is happy to brawl to the back with Funk. Bret dumps Austin for the pop of the night but the referees are busy breaking up the brawl, allowing Austin to come back in and eliminate Vader and Undertaker. Bret gets rid of Diesel, only to have Austin throw him out for the win in a great bit of cheating.

Rating: D+. And the good here is almost ALL Austin as the rest of the match was barely even worth talking about. There wasn’t much in the way of storytelling to be seen here as there wasn’t really a big winner teased until the very end. The lack of talent up until the end and time to go with the build towards the end didn’t do a lot of good as the match doesn’t even really start until Bret comes in two thirds of the way there. It’s certainly not the worst Rumble but it’s really not good either.

Bret has another tirade and while he has a point, he handles it like a baby.

We recap Shawn vs. Sid. Back at Survivor Series, Sid attacked Shawn’s manager with a camera to cost Shawn the title. Sid has been on a rampage since but now we’re in Shawn’s hometown for the big rematch.

Shawn says he’s sick with the flu (a-huh) but he’s ready to fight with 70,000 people (or closer to 50,000 depending on who you ask) behind him.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

Sid is defending of course. Shawn stares him down to start and is quickly shoved across the ring without too much effort. A kick to the chest puts Sid on the floor but he comes right back in and grabs a camel clutch. That goes nowhere (other than around for a long time) so Sid tries a chinlock, followed by one heck of a clothesline.

Some hard whips across the ring set up a bearhug because Sid needs to keep things slow. The bearhug stays on so long that Sid actually LAYS DOWN ON THE MAT WITH IT. A legdrop gets two and it’s already back to the reverse chinlock. Thankfully this one doesn’t last as long and Shawn comes back with a slam. Really a slam? After all that back work?

The forearm into the flying elbow connects but Sid goes outside to yell at Jose and his son. We get a ref bump so the chokeslam only gets two as a second ref comes in. Sid knocks the second referee down so Shawn hits him with the camera for two. The superkick gives Shawn the title back.

Rating: D+. As I said in the original review, this could have been much worse. I mean, not much worse but it could have been worse. Shawn winning the title back was the most obvious thing in the world and it’s ok to have him win here, especially in his hometown. It’s not exactly a good match but then again Sid isn’t exactly a good opponent. What is nice is seeing a hometown guy win a big match for a change and the fact that it derailed Shawn’s heel turn is…..well actually it kind of sucks but he wouldn’t have the title long anyway.

A ridiculously long celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Why is this show so fondly remembered? The wrestling is pretty lame (though there are worse options) and the Rumble itself isn’t much to be remembered outside of Austin starting his rise to the top of the promotion. It’s not the worst Royal Rumble of all time but I don’t remember getting into the show a single time all night, save for that look from Austin when Bret came out. Just not a very good show but it’s from a bad time for the company.

Ratings Comparison

HHH vs. Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: F+

Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D

Vader vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Now that’s more like it. The two main events just aren’t that good but I have NO idea what I was thinking on the opener. That match is a disaster and I can’t stand it less and less every time I see it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/17/royal-rumble-count-up-1997-bret-hart-uh-make-that-austin/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/11/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-1997-why-austin-was-a-near-perfect-character/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2017
Date: November 19, 2017
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,478
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

I barely remember this show other than it was a bunch of Raw vs. Smackdown stuff, including AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar. As usual, the modern stuff has no impact on me because so much of it feels like it’s going to be similar to whatever we’re likely to get this year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Matt Hardy vs. Elias

This is a bonus match, because a four hour show needs more content. Before the match, Elias asks if anyone wants to go for a walk. You can wear red or you can wear blue, but at the end of the day, what would Elias do? The song gets cut off by the booing but he gets it going to talk about how much he hates Houston. Hardy’s music cuts him off again and we’re ready to go. Since it’s a major pay per view and WWE has a really weird way of doing their pre-shows, the are far more empty seats than filled ones opposite the hard camera.

Hardy headlocks him down to start as the announcers start talking about other matches on the show. The Russian legsweep sets up the middle rope elbow to the back of Elias’s head as we take a break. Back with Matt dropping a fist for two but getting his throat snapped across the top rope. Elias switches over to the arm and cranks on an armbar for good measure. The arm goes into the post as Corey talks about getting to see matches we’ve never seen before, such as HHH vs. Shane McMahon. I’d recommend studying your WWE Network before.

The armbar goes on, followed by a double underhook shoulderbreaker for two. Matt gets sent to the apron and Elias follows for some reason, allowing Matt to hit a Side Effect and take over. Back in and Elias gets sent into all three buckles, followed by the bulldog for no cover. Another Side Effect gets two and the middle rope elbow is good for the same. Elias is smart enough to hit him in the arm though and sends it into the post. Drift Away puts Hardy away at 9:16.

Rating: D+. I can never get around the empty seats during these first matches. What in the world is the point of having a match when it’s something that means as little as this and isn’t even any good in the first place? The arm work was fine and it played into the finish, but it was nothing that wouldn’t bore you in the third hour of Raw.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore

Amore is defending and was sent into a cake on 205 Live to really make this personal. Before the match, Enzo goes into a rant about Kalisto sending him into a cake that Enzo paid for. Tonight, Enzo is going to make beef stew out of chicken. Enzo is extra aggressive to start but Kalisto kicks him away without much effort. The chase to the floor is on and Kalisto follows him back in with a slingshot Code Red for two. Kalisto goes to the ropes once too often though and gets his throat snapped as we take a break.

Back with Enzo getting two off a clothesline and pulling him out of the corner into a side slam for the same (cool move). The chinlock goes on for a bit until a running forearm in the corner gets two more. That means a second chinlock with a Stunner not quite breaking the hold. It’s too early for the Salida Del Sol so Enzo puts him in the Tree of Woe, only to miss a charge and hit the buckle.

Kalisto hits a top rope moonsault but his ribs won’t let him get a cover. He’s fine enough to hit the hurricanrana driver but the Salida is broken up again. They slug it out on the apron and Enzo pulls him head first into the rob that connects the buckle to the post. The Jordunzo finishes Kalisto at 8:13.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the better matches I remember from Enzo, which probably had a lot to do with Kalisto being in there to do most of the hard work for him. There was little chance that Enzo was dropping the title here so at least they kept it short, even with a commercial included. Not a good match, but it could have been worse.

Kickoff Show: Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Breezango

Sami is freshly heel here and doesn’t like being stuck having to face losers like Breezango. They should be on Team Smackdown tonight but Shane McMahon is holding them back. It’s all part of the McMahon sibling rivalry but here’s Breezango to cut them off. They got a tip of some fashion violators and all that ungroomed facial hair proves they’re right. That’s bad enough for some violations so Fandango dropkicks Owens down. Owens and Zayn are sent outside where they have fashioned tickets rained down on them as we take a break.

Back with Sami getting sent outside again but Owens gets in a cheap shot this time to put Breeze in trouble. Owens comes in for his usual pummeling but it’s already back to Sami for the chinlock. A kick to the face isn’t enough to get Breeze out of trouble as Owens comes back in for a chinlock of his own. That’s not good enough, so we hit the fourth chinlock in about two minutes.

Owens mixes it up with a backsplash but hits knees, suggesting that he should have stuck with the chinlocks. The hot tag brings in Fandango for the snap jabs and a middle rope dropkick. A tornado DDT gets two with Owens making the save but Fandango misses the Last Dance. The Pop Up Powerbomb finishes Fandango at 8:32.

Rating: D+. Well this concludes the worst Kickoff Show I can remember in a long time. It didn’t seem like Owens and Zayn cared at all here and really, can you blame them? The previous month they were headlining a pay per view and now they’re on the Kickoff Show? That’s the best you can have for these guys? Fair point as that’s the idea of the story. Other than that, I still feel bad for what happened to Breezango as they got themselves over and then were just dropped for….whoever the Smackdown Tag Team Champions were at this point. Does it really matter if they’re that forgettable?

The opening video focuses on the war between Raw and Smackdown, featuring the UNDER SIEGE deal, which was mainly all about Stephanie vs. Shane. I still don’t get how they didn’t have the Usos with the Uso Penitentiary deal leading that charge. The rest of the Raw vs. Smackdown matches get a quick look of their own.

We have a FIVE MAN commentary booth. As usual, quantity equals quality in WWE’s eyes.

New Day vs. Shield

This didn’t get the attention that it deserved because it’s a genuine dream match. Before the match, Woods says that while this is great fuel for the fan fiction writers, it’s also time for them to show that they’re the most dominant trio in WWE history. Kofi brings up the Raw roster invading three weeks after Smackdown did and not even doing it as well. They’re about to go Bob Barker on the Hounds of Justice (How did no one get that line in before?) and when Wrestlemania time comes up, the Shield will bite each other (true actually, at least before Dean got hurt).

They’re the true brotherhood around here and it’s time to prove it. And now, before the match, here’s another video of Smackdown invading Raw and vice versa, in case you didn’t get the point six minutes ago. The only new material here is New Day costing the Shield the Tag Team Titles. Big pop for Shield, as you had to expect. Seth and Dean have the half Raw half Shield shirts but Reigns is too cool to go that route.

Ambrose and Kofi start things off as the fans are split here, apparently not able to pick which wristlock they like best. Booker’s preview for the night: “There’s not gonna be a whole lot of entertainment.” This man gets paid to do this people. Rollins and Woods come in with Woods quickly realizing that he’s in way over his head. As the announcers discuss titles, Big E. comes in to face Rollins. Now you NXT fans should get where commentary should be going, but of course nothing is mentioned.

It’s off to Reigns instead and this isn’t quite the showdown that WWE thinks it is. Big E. breaks up a waistlock attempt and runs Reigns over with a shoulder, only to have an elbow do the same to him. A good looking Samoan drop gives Reigns two….and the fans are there with the SWEET because we’re that lucky. Everything breaks down and a triple clothesline takes Big E. and Kofi to the floor, leaving Woods to get stomped down in the corner. Rollins comes off the top with a right hands to the ribs as the Shield starts their rhythm.

Ambrose gives up the tag to Kofi though and things pick up in a hurry. The Boom Drop hits Ambrose but he kicks Kofi out of the air. It’s too early for Dirty Deeds though and the Unicorn Stampede is on. New Day does it again for good measure and the fans aren’t thrilled this time around. That’s enough for Rollins and Reigns and everything breaks down. Big E. spears Ambrose through the ropes, thankfully not coming that close to death. That’s only good for two and things settle down again with Ambrose’s shirt being ripped off. It’s an improvement, as Ambrose looks more normal in all black.

The chinlock goes on for a few moments before Dean breaks up a superplex attempt. Big E. can’t get one either and Dean missile dropkicks him down instead. The hot tag brings in Rollins, albeit with an unnecessary jump from Dean. Seth springboards in with the clothesline and starts in with his usual fast paced offense. The announcers are already getting really annoying with this Raw vs. Smackdown stuff and Graves being in the middle is all that’s holding it together.

Reigns comes in for a jumping clothesline to Woods and the Superman Punch knocks him even sillier. Big E. breaks up the spear but Rollins saves Dean from the Midnight Hour. The jumping knee into Dirty Deeds gets two on Kofi with Woods making a save of his own. A fired up Woods comes in so Rollins kicks him in the face to calm things down. Now it’s Big E.’s turn to break up the TripleBomb and there’s Trouble in Paradise to Rollins. Reigns is laid out on the floor so Woods puts Big E. on his shoulders so Kofi can jump over them for a splash onto Dean.

Woods drops Big E. onto him as well but there’s no cover. Instead Big E. picks up Ambrose and Rollins for a double Midnight Hour, leaving Reigns to spear Big E. onto the covers for a save. Both teams pull each other up for a cool visual and the fight is on again. Dirty Deeds plants Big E. on the floor and the spear cuts Kofi in half. Shield isn’t done though and it’s a super TripleBomb to completely finish Kofi at 21:32.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but once they turned it into the big fight feel, it became what it should have been. These teams are both great in different ways and while New Day has had more success as a trio, it’s hard to argue with them beating three former World Champions. Shield winning is the right choice, but at the same time it means that we have to hear about Raw being up 1-0 on Smackdown for far too long now.

Cole: “Raw is up 1-0!”

In the back, Stephanie McMahon: “Raw is up 1-0!” She gives the Raw women’s team a pep talk and it’s about as over the top as you would guess.

There’s a scoreboard to show Raw is in fact up 1-0.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Sasha Banks, Bayley, Alicia Fox, Asuka, Nia Jax

Smackdown: Carmella, Natalya, Becky Lynch, Naomi, Tamina

Lana is in Smackdown’s corner and Fox and Lynch are the captains. During the entrances (which are going to take their sweet time), Phillips reminds us that Raw is in fact up 1-0. Does WWE really think we have the attention spans of drunken squirrels? We also get to see the Raw women invading the Smackdown locker room so we can hear about UNDER SIEGE for the fifteenth time in the show’s first forty five minutes.

Fox and Lynch start things off with Fox actually getting the better of it off some forearms. Becky gets in a neck snap across the top though and drops a top rope legdrop for two. The threat of the Disarm-Her sends Fox to the ropes so Bayley tags herself in and grabs a rollup to get rid of Lynch at 2:02.

Natalya comes in next to stomp Bayley in the corner as Booker can’t figure out who is on which show. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and gets forearmed in the head before it’s off to Asuka to a big reaction. That’s just a preview though as a few kicks to the legs are enough before Asuka hands it back to Fox. Since it’s Fox and she’s not very good, it’s already back to Bayley, who gets beaten up in the corner. Carmella hits a superkick and Tamina’s Superfly Splash gets rid of Bayley at 5:27.

That’s what you get for cheering her when you’re not supposed to people. Nia comes in to face Tamina, and it’s not interesting a year earlier either. A shot knocks Naomi off the apron and Tamina does the same to Asuka before neither can hurt the other. Nia’s headbutt hurts both of them but Nia splashing her in the corner only hates Tamina. Lana gets on the apron for some reason so Nia knocks her off, allowing Tamina to superkick her to the floor. A dive from Naomi and another superkick set up the crossbody off the apron to get Nia counted out at 9:01.

Fox comes in and yells at Nia as she leaves and gets knocked down by Naomi. In one of those moments of brilliance you only see in wrestling, Naomi looks over her shoulder, sees Fox moving, and then starts jumping up for the split legged moonsault. Naomi is fine enough to get a sunset flip that she lets up at two…but Fox doesn’t get her shoulders up and the referee counts the pin anyway at 10:31. Banks is right back in to make Naomi tap to the Bank Statement at 10:47 so we’re down to Banks/Asuka vs. Carmella/Tamina/Natalya.

Asuka comes in to unload with kicks to Carmella and the hip attack gets two. Carmella pulls her down by the hair and hits a quick Bronco Buster before pausing to mock Sasha’s dance. For reasons of general stupidity, Carmella slaps Asuka in the face and it’s a knee to the head, followed by a heck of a kick to get rid of Carmella at 12:59. Banks and Natalya come in and hit each other a few times until Natalya gets the better of it for two. Sasha gets sent face first into the middle buckle and the Sharpshooter makes her tap at 15:22, leaving Asuka vs. Natalya and Tamina in the Ultimate Warrior at Survivor Series 1988 mold.

Natalya gets in a few kicks and hands it off to Tamina for a slam. The Superfly Splash that wouldn’t have hit even if Asuka hadn’t moved misses when Asuka moves and it’s a cross armbreaker to get rid of Tamina at 17:32. Natalya can’t get the Sharpshooter as Asuka pulls her into a kneebar, followed by a kick to the face. The Asuka Lock finishes Natalya at 18:27.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t great to start but the ending was exactly the right call with Asuka getting the star treatment at the end. The rest of the match wasn’t all that great as the focus was on Tamina (who still isn’t interesting, mainly because Nia is better at every single thing Tamina is around to do) or Alicia being wacky, making it an exercise in waiting around on Asuka. To their credit though, they got that part right and that’s what mattered most.

Here’s what coming on WWE Network. Don’t worry though, because they’ll air almost nothing but NXT, 205 Live and whatever tournament they have going on at the moment.

Stephanie (erg) brags to Daniel Bryan about Raw being up 2-0. She accuses Bryan of getting John Cena on the Smackdown men’s team by practically being family. Bryan: “Didn’t you put your husband on the Raw team?” It turns into a discussion of Wrestlemania XXX as this goes on way too long as we AGAIN recap the invasions. Sweet goodness WE WATCH THE TV SHOWS AND DON’T NEED TO HEAR THIS STUFF OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I haven’t watched the TV shows since last year and I can tell you what happens week by week just because of all these recaps.

Baron Corbin vs. The Miz

Smackdown vs. Raw and US Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion, though it’s non-title, like every match tonight. Miz has Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel with him and Corbin has been talking trash about Maryse and Miz’s unborn child. The threat of an early clothesline sends Miz bailing to the floor and it’s time for some consultation. A Dallas distraction lets Miz hit a baseball slide, followed by a clothesline to put Corbin right back on the floor. Corbin kicks him off the apron though as they’re going back and forth pretty fast so far.

The fans try to start some dueling chants but the LET’S GO MIZ chants are pretty clearly louder. Corbin misses a running crotch attack to the back but easily avoids a baseball slide. With Miz in trouble, Dallas hits Corbin in the knee to give Miz his first actual advantage. The Figure Four is easily blocked but a chop block cuts Corbin down again. Now the Figure Four goes on but that’s broken up in short order, allowing Corbin to hit Deep Six on one leg.

Dallas is right there again with a shot to the knee though and Miz adds a big boot. Corbin’s knee is fine enough to slide underneath the ropes and beat up the Miztourage but the End of Days is countered into a DDT for two. Some rather weak looking YES Kicks don’t have much effect so Miz hits the running corner dropkicks. Corbin shrugs them off though and End of Days is good for the pin at 9:26.

Rating: D+. Commentary really hurt this one as the put on Raw vs. Smackdown stuff continues. The leg work was fine but when Corbin is fine enough to do all of his usual stuff and then hit his finisher to win, it doesn’t mean that much. You had to give Smackdown something in this whole thing and given how bad the midcard titles are presented in the first place, this was the least painful loss for a champion.

Post match Corbin says he just shut everyone’s mouth.

Paul Heyman says everything about tonight is phenomenal, including AJ Styles. Then the bell will ring and the conqueror is going to rip AJ Styles apart.

Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Before the match, the Usos mock the Bar’s catchphrase and says they’ll be bartenders tonight. Or maybe they’re pole vaulters. Sheamus drives Jimmy into the corner to start and Jimmy isn’t sure what to do here. Instead it’s off to Jey who does the same to Sheamus, though he’s smart enough to stomp away and take over. As the announcers discuss Corey’s lack of success (as Booker hadn’t heard about it), Cesaro comes in and gets hiptossed down.

A quick double team puts Jimmy down though and it’s off to a headlock, because a chinlock isn’t sophisticated enough. Jimmy knocks Sheamus to the floor but a dive gets cut off by a Cesaro uppercut. Back in and Cesaro puts on a Crossface without the arm trap as Booker wants the Bar to be called the A-Team. Graves: “Why would you do that? They’re called the Bar Booker.” Sheamus drops a knee and puts on a chinlock with Cesaro running in to kick Jey off the apron.

The pop up uppercut gets two but Sheamus takes too long setting up the ten forearms to the chest. Booker: “Think about the brand!” Jimmy gets in a Whisper in the Wind and that’s enough for the hot tag to pick up the pace. He also picks up Cesaro with a backdrop into the corner for two, leaving Sheamus to argue with the referee. Jey gets in a superkick but Sheamus adds a forearm to the back, allowing Cesaro to Swing Jimmy into the Sharpshooter. The longest crawl to a rope I can remember gets Jey out of trouble, assuming you bought the Sharpshooter as a potential finish either (you shouldn’t have).

The spike White Noise is broken up and Sheamus is sent into the post. He’s fine enough to hold Jey up for White Noise with Cesaro adding a springboard spike. Jimmy makes a great looking last second save so Cesaro throws him out and loads up Jey in a powerbomb. Sheamus goes up top but gets punched in the face, allowing Jimmy to Samoan drop him down with Cesaro adding the powerbomb. Cesaro dives in the way of a double superkick, leaving Sheamus to take the same thing. Jimmy does the eternally cool tag while diving over the top to take out Cesaro. The Superfly Splash finishes Sheamus at 15:56.

Rating: B-. Yeah of course this was good with two very talented teams. Granted a year later the Usos haven’t had a meaningful match in forever and the Bar are now the Smackdown Tag Team Champions, but at least this was entertaining. If nothing else though, this is a great showcase of what happens when you just let people go and have a fun match, which is always going to help things out.

Jason Jordan, who was recently (and thankfully) replaced on the Raw team by HHH, wants to see HHH get eliminated before Team Raw wins.

We recap Charlotte winning the Smackdown Women’s Title on Tuesday to take Natalya’s spot tonight. If nothing else it was awesome to see Ric Flair come out after his health scares.

Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

Non-….you get the idea. Charlotte knocks her outside early on and is polite enough to hold the ropes open to invite Bliss back in. Booker of course talks about baseball. Back in and Bliss hides in the ropes before slapping her in the face. That earns Bliss a hard right hand so they head to the apron with Bliss snapping the arm to the floor. A dropkick into the steps has Charlotte in more trouble and it’s off to an abdominal stretch, though Charlotte has to kneel because Bliss isn’t that tall.

Some kicks to the ribs keep Charlotte in trouble and she gets sent face first into the middle buckle to make things even worse. Bliss tries to go aerial but a tornado DDT is countered into a t-bone suplex into the corner (with Bliss bouncing around as only she can). Charlotte gets crotched on top but rolls away before Twisted Bliss. That’s even worse for her though as she gets caught with middle rope double knees to the back (I still don’t get how that doesn’t cause a severe injury.).

Code Red gives Bliss two and she hammers away with even more fire than she usually shows. A guillotine choke has Charlotte in trouble (it worked for Bayley against Nia Jax) but a sitout powerbomb (looked great) breaks that up. The fans are split (as they should be) and Bliss breaks up the Figure Eight with a right hand that has the referee checking on Charlotte.

Natural Selection gets two but the moonsault misses (as always). Bliss grabs her DDT for two of her own so she chokes and screams a lot. Amazingly enough, Charlotte can pretty easily overpower Bliss and hits a spear to cut her in half. Back up and more kicks to the ribs have Charlotte in trouble but Twisted Bliss hits raised knees. A big boot sets up the Figure Eight to make Bliss tap at 15:46 and put Smackdown up 3-2.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with Bliss looking like she could more than hang with someone on Charlotte’s level. You don’t see someone go move for move with Charlotte like this and it’s a great sign for Bliss’ future. The ribs story was perfectly fine, even if it meant that another champion had to lose. You know, because of bragging rights.

Post match, Charlotte nods in approval.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar in another champion vs. champion match. Lesnar is the monster and AJ is the new underdog champion (sounds oxymoronish), thankfully saving us from Lesnar vs. Jinder Mahal.

Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introductions, saying he’s fighting (Heyman: “Fighting. You hear that Mr. Performer?”) and the fans are split to start. Brock goes straight to the shoulders in the corner and throws AJ across the ring a few times. Forearms to the back keep AJ in trouble as the dominance is on early. One heck of an overhead belly to belly has Styles in more trouble and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar sends him outside for a toss into the barricade as Cole is almost giddy.

Back in and another German suplex has AJ rocked but he tries to get up anyway. With Heyman cradling the Universal Title like a newborn, Brock hits a running knee in the corner. Lesnar wants him to fight and then clotheslines AJ right back down. Some right hands have little effect for Styles as Brock puts him down again. The F5 doesn’t work and Lesnar’s second running knee hits the buckle.

A DDT actually puts Lesnar down and it’s time to cheer for AJ as he kicks at the leg. Lesnar throws him off a tornado DDT attempt and they’re both down. AJ tries a springboard but gets caught in a German suplex that flips him over his head. Well of course it does. This time AJ ducks the big right hand and Lesnar falls to the floor, setting up the slingshot forearm. Brock goes knee first into the steps and there’s another forearm off said steps.

An enziguri makes things even worse back inside and the springboard 450 gets the first two as Heyman is panicking. The Styles Clash is countered into an F5 attempt which is countered into the Calf Crusher. You can hear the fans actually going nuts…until Lesnar grabs AJ’s head and rams it into the mat to break it up. Another F5 is broken up and the Phenomenal Forearm connects for a very close two. Brock is right back up with the F5 for the pin at 15:19.

Rating: A-. Oh yeah this worked. I was getting into these near falls all over again as they were nailing the Rocky story. Lesnar knows how to play the monster but AJ is even better at being the fighting from underneath high flier. This was great stuff and I’d love to see it again, even if a year later they’re somehow right where they were here. Anyway, great performance from both guys as Lesnar shows he can still do it.

We recap the Raw vs. Smackdown men’s match. Allow me:

UNDER SIEGE

Invasion

Invasion

Stephanie is really, really annoying

Roster changes because they knew the original lineups were awful

Invasion

Got all that?

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Kurt Angle, Braun Strowman, Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, HHH

Shane McMahon, Randy Orton, Bobby Roode, Shinsuke Nakamura, John Cena

What are the odds that the whole competition comes down to this? Shane jumps at Strowman to start because Shane is the most awesome person ever. That’s shrugged off so we’ll try Joe vs. Orton instead. Joe headlocks him into the corner without much effort so let’s go with Nakamura vs. Balor instead. That certainly gets the fans into it, though Cole ruins it a bit by calling him Shin. The feeling out process begins as the NXT chants start up.

Nakamura takes him to the ropes for the swinging arms, only to be reversed into a TOO SWEET to the head. HHH comes in for a kind of weird showdown and takes Nakamura into the corner for the right hands. Nakamura gets in the first kick to the chest but the facebuster sends him into the corner for the tag to Roode. This one isn’t so much weird as much as it is….nothing. Since Roode’s pose takes forever, HHH punches him in the face. Fair enough actually.

The spinebuster takes Roode down again but Roode counters the Pedigree and hits a spinebuster of his own. That means we get the GLORIOUS pose but the Glorious DDT is broken up. Instead HHH drives him into the corner for the tag off to Angle for the rolling German suplexes.

A double clothesline puts them both down so the Raw guys switch places on the apron. It’s off to Nakamura for the running knees so Joe comes in to make the save. Everything breaks down and Nakamura hits Kinshasa on HHH, only to run into the now legal Strowman. The middle rope knee staggers the monster but the running powerslam gets rid of Nakamura at 11:31.

Roode comes in and kicks at Strowman’s legs, followed by the Blockbuster. That’s not even good for one so Roode tries it again, earning himself another running powerslam for the pin at 12:22. For some reason Joe and Strowman get in an argument, as do HHH and Angle. Smackdown is smart enough to let them fight until Orton and Shane come in like idiots. Orton powerslams Joe and Cena is all fired up, only to have Strowman come in for a heck of a 2-1 showdown. The AA and RKO are both broken up and Strowman knocks them both to the floor.

Orton and Cena get together and the rest of Team Smackdown (including the eliminated members) get together to suplex Strowman through a table. Naturally Shane gets to talk the trash but Joe breaks up an elbow to the floor with a belly to belly superplex. Cena comes in to hammer on Joe but gets booted in the face. The Rock Bottom out of the corner looks to set up the Coup de Grace, only to have Joe and Balor get in an argument. An AA to Joe, an AA to Balor and another to Joe is good for an elimination at 18:05.

Angle comes in for the showdown with some history behind it and Cena gets taken down without much effort. Back up and Cena elbows him in the face, followed by initiating the finishing sequence. The Shuffle is reversed into the ankle lock but Cena slips out without much damage. The Angle Slam does a little more damage, to the point where Shane has to make a save. Balor drops the Coup de Grace and another Slam gets rid of Cena at 21:45.

We’re down to Orton/Shane vs. Balor/HHH/Angle/Strowman so Orton comes in, only to get forearmed by Balor. A trip to the floor lets Balor shotgun dropkick Shane into the barricade. Back in and the Coup de Grace misses again, setting up an RKO to get rid of Balor at 23:46. HHH is right there to jump Orton from behind but the backbreaker gets him out of trouble.

Cue Sami and Owens to beat Shane up but he fights them off with a chair, because OF COURSE HE CAN DO THAT. An RKO drops Owens….and Strowman is back up to come in again. The running powerslam is good for the elimination at 26:32 and Shane is worried, mainly because he’s alone against HHH, Strowman and Angle. Shane stands around forever before going in to face Strowman until HHH tags himself in. Angle tags himself in as well and gets taken down by a Russian legsweep.

The jumping back elbow to the jaw and la majistral get two each. Shane hammers away in the corner but the Angle Slam puts him down. There’s the ankle lock for nearly a minute…until HHH comes in and Pedigrees Angle to give Shane the pin at 32:00. HHH stares at Strowman, helps Shane up, and Pedigrees him as well for the pin at 33:20.

Rating: D+. Yeah this still didn’t work a year later either. The first third is spent on showdowns that don’t mean anything and the rest is getting rid of the people who don’t matter so we can get down to the big stuff with Shane, HHH and Angle. You know, the older guys. The wrestling wasn’t the worst but it was long, didn’t feel important and came off more as a way to get to the ending instead of something worth seeing along the way.

Post match HHH is all smiley as Strowman stares him down. Strowman grabs him by the throat and says never do this again so HHH tries a Pedigree but gets powerslammed twice to end the show. This of course lead nowhere.

Overall Rating: B-. Much like last year, the show just felt long and brought down the good things they had going on. Now that being said, the good matches on the show were more than good enough to make up for the bad and the show is definitely worth seeing. AJ vs. Brock is more than good and the opener isn’t far behind. In other words, this Survivor Series is great if you take out the Survivor Series matches.

If nothing else, they’ve made me dislike Survivor Series, which used to be my favorite pay per view. This Raw vs. Smackdown story was pure annoyance with the announcers all suddenly being cheerleaders about a story that would disappear in a few days. It feels so manufactured and, because it’s WWE, they beat you over the head with it so hard that you’re waiting on the whole thing to finally end so you don’t have to hear about it anymore. Thanks for sucking the fun out of one of my favorite shows guys. It only took thirty years.

Ratings Comparison

Elias vs. Matt Hardy

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore

Original: D

Redo: D+

Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn vs. Breezango

Original: D+

Redo: D+

New Day vs. Shield

Original: B

Redo: B+

Team Raw Women vs. Team Smackdown Women

Original: D

Redo: C-

The Miz vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: B+

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Team Raw Men vs. Team Smackdown Men

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/19/survivor-series-2017-never-mind-the-talent-here-are-the-old-guys/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 2016
Date: November 20, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,143
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, David Otunga

I say this every year but it’s always hard to believe that it’s been a full year since this show. This was the first time that a Survivor Series was expanded to four hours but thankfully there’s a good chance that they could make it work, mainly due to the elimination matches. The main event though is Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg, which I’m sure will be completely uneventful. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese vs. Noam Dar/TJ Perkins/Rich Swann

This is a preview match for something called 205 Live, which debuts next week. I know it hasn’t gone great but the division really has evolved into a better place than when it started. Swann gets a nice reaction and then starts with Nese, who gets chopped in the corner. They do their regular flips with Swann’s jump over Nese’s feet getting a good pop (as always) before it’s off to Perkins.

Some suplexes set up an Octopus Hold but Nese reverses into a kind of gutwrench suplex. Gulak comes in and gets caught in the wrong corner with everyone working him over. We actually get a TJ PERKINS chant as he slaps on the kneebar to keep Gulak in trouble. Everything breaks down and we take a break.

Back with Daivari in trouble this time as Dar gets two off a running kick to the face. Nese offers a distraction though and a spinebuster takes Dar down. A superkick gives Daivari two and it’s back to Gulak to crank on the leg. If this sounds rather uninteresting, it’s only because that’s what it is.

Dar dropkicks his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Swann to very little reaction. A good looking jumping hurricanrana takes Daivari off the middle rope as everything breaks down again. That means we hit the dives but the referee CUTS PERKINS OFF. Now you know that’s not working so Perkins dives over the referee to take out some villains. Back in and Swann’s standing 450 ends Daivari at 11:48.

Rating: C-. I forgot how uninteresting these earlier cruiserweight matches were. The guys barely have characters and the entire story here was “three faces vs. three heels”. It didn’t get much better for a long time but, as usual, the problem comes down to one simple thing: if the smaller guys on the main roster can be big stars and do all these dives, why should I be impressed when cruiserweights can do them too?

Kickoff Show: Luke Harper vs. Kane

Harper is part of the NEW Wyatt Family, which screwed Kane over, meaning we need a match here. Kane grabs a full nelson of all things and we’re in a chinlock fifteen seconds in. That goes nowhere so Harper grabs a headlock as the fans are oddly split here. Kane starts in on the shoulder by sending it into the buckle. Harper sends him outside though and hits that suicide shove of his (Who needs cruiserweights?).

A slingshot flip splash gives Luke two and we take a break. Back with Kane in a chinlock (well duh) but managing to superplex Harper down for a crash. The sidewalk slam gets two but Harper scores with a superkick for the same. Kane’s running DDT and Harper’s Boss Man Slam are good for two more each but it’s the chokeslam to put Harper away at 9:10.

Rating: D+. Well what were you expecting here? This was exactly the match you would have planned out for them and Kane won with his finisher. It’s about as paint by numbers of a power match as you can get and while it wasn’t terrible, it’s also a match I really didn’t need to see.

The opening video looks at Goldberg vs. Lesnar and then all the Raw vs. Smackdown matches. Well at least they got some time. I’m sure Stephanie’s voiceovers had nothing to do with it.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Bayley, Alicia Fox, Charlotte, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks

Smackdown: Alexa Bliss, Becky Lynch, Carmella, Naomi, Nikki Bella

Entrances alone take forever of course, which will be a theme tonight. Charlotte is Raw Women’s Champion and has Dana Brooke in her corner. Becky is Smackdown Women’s Champion but Nikki is captain. You know, because of course. Bliss gets a heck of a reaction (gee I wonder why). Actually hang on a second as there’s no Nikki. We cut to the back where she’s down after being attacked. Not to worry though, as Smackdown coach Natalya is more than willing to take the spot.

Carmella and Alicia get things going and it’s an early northern lights suplex to give Fox two. That just earns her a trip into the corner for the Staten Island Shuffle…and let’s look at Team Raw while Fox gets in a kick to the face. That felt like a hard edit to make sure we didn’t see something. Becky comes in and wants Bayley but Charlotte tags herself in instead. Banks does the same though and everything breaks down as Team Raw is about to implode. As usual, I would ask why Team Smackdown didn’t just let them. Nia will have none of this though and easily clears the ring to settle things down.

We settle down to Becky and Banks trading rollups before it’s off to Charlotte for more of the same. Becky can’t get the Disarm-Her and it’s off to Nia as things get a lot more difficult. Carmella and Bliss come in for the expected results and Naomi’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air. Natalya actually gets a reaction but Nia clotheslines her head off for her efforts. It’s off to Fox vs. Carmella with Alicia avoiding a Bronco Buster, setting up what looked to be a mostly missed ax kick for the elimination at 6:35. Bliss comes right in, sends Fox into the buckle and adds Twisted Bliss to tie it up at 6:48.

Charlotte and Naomi come in with the latter cleaning house, including knocking Nia outside and hitting a high crossbody to the floor. Nia posts her though and that’s a countout at 8:23. We pause for the Tye Dillinger TEN chant until Bliss takes Banks down and grinds her face into the mat. Banks sends Bliss and Natalya into each other, followed by the double knees in the corner to Alexa. Back up and Bliss saves Natalya from the Bank Statement, allowing Natalya to roll Banks up for the elimination at 10:20.

Charlotte comes in and gets suplexed, meaning we hit the SUPLEX CITY chants. You would think fans would know more chants than that. Charlotte goes up for the moonsault but, as always, Natalya powerbombs her down for two in the near fall that never ends Charlotte. The required Sharpshooter sends Charlotte crawling for the ropes but a big boot ends Natalya at 12:01.

Becky and Bliss get in an argument over who should come in, allowing Jax to suplex them both at the same time. Of course that gets a MAMA MIA from Mauro, which I miss hearing so often. Bliss gets caught in a slam but Becky makes a blind tag and missile dropkicks Bliss in the back to knock her onto Jax. The Disarm-Her actually makes Jax tap at 13:35 and it’s 2-2 with Becky/Bliss vs Charlotte/Bayley.

Jax mauls Becky, leaving Bliss to get big booted down for the elimination at 14:03. Becky fights back as fast as she can with the series of clotheslines into the leg lariat, followed by Bexplex. Bayley has to dive in for a save after a top rope legdrop before coming in for the slugout. Another Bexplex gets two but Bayley’s elbow to the back gets the same. You can tell Becky is getting tired out there so Bayley blocks the Disarm-Her and grabs the Bayley to Belly for the final pin at 17:53.

Rating: C+. The quick eliminations didn’t help things here but the ending was the right call. There was way too much talent on the Raw side to lose and I’m VERY glad it was Natalya, who can wrestle this style without having to dumb things down too much. Becky was pretty much all the blue team had for a lot of the match and she put up a valiant effort, only to be outgunned. That makes her look strong and Bayley getting a win like this is a good thing for her at this stage in her main roster career.

Charlotte takes Bayley out post match and beats her around ringside.

Smackdown mascot James Ellsworth runs into Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, who weren’t funny in 2016 either. They make some bad chin puns but Raw GM Mick Foley comes in to run them off. Ellsworth talks about all the great memories he has of Foley, most of which involve him being in extreme pain. Foley thanks him anyway and suggests Ellsworth move to Raw. He appreciates the offer but politely turns it down because he’s true blue. Foley leaves and Ellsworth runs into Braun Strowman, who asks if he knows Ellsworth. James runs in a smart move.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Miz is defending and Sami is trying to take the title to Raw. We get the Big Match Intros and Sami gets quite the reaction for being Canadian. Sami spins out of a wristlock to start and Miz looks annoyed in the corner. Miz gets sent outside but Sami has to bail out of the flip dive. The moonsault off the barricade works though, drawing over Maryse for a distraction. Well she can be quite distracting.

This one works well with Miz taking out the knee to get his first advantage. Some hard stomps to the knees have Sami in trouble but he’s still able to clothesline Miz to the floor. A flip dive works as well, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two. Miz’s short DDT gets the same and it’s time for a double breather. The running corner dropkick/clothesline look to set up the ax handle but Sami reverses into the Blue Thunder Bomb.

The Helluva Kick only hits corner though and that means the Figure Four. This one stays on for a good while until Sami makes the ropes, earning himself some YES Kicks. Sami reverses one into a Figure Four of his own but Maryse rings the bell. Since Sami isn’t all that bright, he of course falls for it, only to have Miz roll him up to retain at 14:06.

Rating: C-. Kind of a dull match as you knew a lot of Sami’s near falls weren’t going anywhere. I can go for Miz and Maryse teaming up to steal wins though and it’s a big reason why he’s been an awesome Intercontinental Champion. This would also help play into Sami’s heel turn nearly a year later as he would get tired of losing while playing by the rules. Makes sense, especially in a long term form.

Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles are bickering over being teammates tonight when Shane McMahon comes in and tells them to cool it so Smackdown doesn’t lose again.

Raw Tag Teams vs. Smackdown Tag Teams

Raw: Enzo Amore/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson, New Day, Shining Stars

Smackdown: American Alpha, Breezango, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Hype Bros, Usos

A fall eliminates both members of a team. Enzo and Cass suck up to the live crowd, as you might expect. New Day and Slater/Rhyno are the respective champions. Fandango tries to give everyone a fashion ticket to start, earning himself a Midnight Hour for the elimination at 44 seconds. New Day spends too much time celebrating though and it’s a superkick from Jimmy to pin Big E. at 1:08.

Gallows comes in to punch Jimmy in the face before handing it off to Cass for the tall power. The fast tags continue as it’s off to Epico vs. Ryder (who is rocking some old school Survivor Series logo trunks) with Mojo coming in for a clap around the ears. Rawley gets taken down into the corner for the huge group beating though as we keep trying to get everyone in. It’s back to Ryder (not Slater like the fans want) but Gallows saves Anderson from the Broski Boot. Instead it’s the Magic Killer to pin Ryder at 5:08.

Gable comes in as Graves talks about how scared he is of American Alpha. It doesn’t seem to be the most valid fear to start though as Epico takes Gable down into a chinlock. Some rolling suplexes have Gable in more trouble and Primo comes in with a springboard ax handle to the ribs. He misses a charge in the corner though and it’s off to Jordan for a quick Steiner Bulldog to get rid of the Stars at 8:08.

The six remaining teams (Enzo/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson vs. American Alpha, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Usos) come in at once as everything breaks down. That means Enzo gets tossed over the top onto a big pile….which was mainly Raw guys but whatever. Rhyno gets thrown over the top as well, only to have Slater add an even bigger dive. Back in and Cesaro swings Jordan but Gable makes the save with a Rolling Chaos Theory.

Gable isn’t done though as Jordan throws him over the top for a HUGE flip dive onto everyone. Sweet goodness those two were awesome together. I mean, not as awesome as Jordan on his own with Kurt Angle kind of around but still. Back in and it’s a quick Magic Killer to get rid of Jordan at 10:39 as the eliminations are still flying. A spinebuster plants Slater and he’s caught in the wrong corner.

Sheamus won’t tag Cesaro (this was before their ridiculous matching outfits) and an argument breaks out, allowing the hot tag off to Rhyno as everyone bickers. Rhyno comes in and Gores Gallows for an elimination at 12:28. Cass wastes no time with a big boot to Rhyno, followed by the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka for the pin at 12:45.

That leaves us with the Usos….who superkick Enzo down to set up the Superfly Splash and an elimination at 13:26 before I can type the Raw teams. So now we’re down to the Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus with the latter hitting the ten forearms (you know the chant) on Jimmy. Cesaro comes in and eats a double superkick but Sheamus Brogue kicks Jimmy with Jey making a diving save.

Super White Noise plants Jimmy again but Jey is right back with a Superfly Splash for two with Cesaro making a save of his own. The hot tag brings in Cesaro for the Uppercut Train and a 619 as the fans lose their minds over Cesaro again. A high crossbody gets two on Jey and it’s time for the Swing. Jimmy breaks up the Sharpshooter and Jey gets the Tequila Sunrise. That’s reversed right back into the Sharpshooter with Sheamus remembering he’s in the match to cut off Jimmy, leaving Jey to tap at 18:55.

Rating: B. This was during the time that I couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro (not a lot has changed in a year) but they did a lot of stuff in this match, despite the crunched timeline. Getting nine eliminations in less than nineteen minutes is a lot but you have to clear the ring out at the beginning. It’s entertaining, but hits a hard ceiling that it’s not getting past.

Stephanie and Foley decide that Sheamus and Cesaro should get a Tag Team Title shot tomorrow night. They recap the rest of the show with Stephanie getting way too serious, as usual.

Preview for TLC with Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles in a TLC match for the title.

Cruiserweight Champion Brian Kendrick does his best Sean O’Haire impression and is ready for Kalisto. If Kalisto wins, he brings the division to Smackdown. It’s fine for a one off match but it was really hard to buy Kendrick as the best cruiserweight in the company in 2016.

Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick is defending and charges straight into a knee to the face. Kalisto is right back with a suicide dive, followed by a springboard corkscrew crossbody for two. Some rollups give Kalisto more near falls and a shotgun dropkick has Kendrick in even more trouble. A rollup into the corner finally gives Kendrick a breather and he crushes Kalisto between the steps and the apron for good measure.

Back in and we hit the cravate to slow things back down. Kalisto manages to fight up and get to the apron where he grabs a C4 out to the floor in the big crash of the match. A good looking suicide dive takes Kendrick down again but he reverses a super Salida Del Sol into the Captain’s Hook. Kalisto finally grabs the ropes and fires off some kicks, followed by the hurricanrana driver. The Salida Del Sol gets two with Kendrick getting to the ropes. Kalisto heads up top….and here’s Baron Corbin for the DQ at 12:21.

Rating: C-. The match was good at times but Kendrick really isn’t the kind of guy you want as a long term champion. It also didn’t help that you knew they weren’t changing up the cruiserweight division so close to 205 Live’s launch. Corbin interfering was fine enough, but it really does make the title match feel like a big waste of time.

The Kickoff Show panel recaps the show so far.

Daniel Bryan yells at Corbin, who doesn’t want little pests running around on Smackdown.

We recap the men’s Survivor Series match, which started in July at the second Brand Split. Naturally this is about the McMahons as Shane and Stephanie are the Commissioners and therefore they have to be fighting. We look at all the entrants as this is treated like the major match is should be treated as. Then Shane is added to the match and that notion kind of falls apart.

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Raw: Braun Strowman, Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns

Seth Rollins

Smackdown: AJ Styles, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Randy Orton, Shane McMahon

AJ and Owens are the World Champions, Reigns is US Champion and Ellsworth is here as the mascot. This is also during the period where Orton is part of the Wyatt Family because we needed that story to get to Orton as World Champion again. Rollins gets a nice reaction and it’s far better without BURN IT DOWN or whatever the line is. AJ and Owens start things off with Styles wasting no time in hitting the drop down into the dropkick.

That’s enough of that though as it’s and they slug it out with AJ getting the better of it. The STUPID IDIOT chants mean it’s time for Jericho, who throws his shirt at AJ and hammers away. Styles dropkicks him down again as the announcers discuss Jericho insulting Undertaker on Twitter. It’s off to Ambrose vs. Rollins, which turns into far more of a wrestling match than it should.

Rollins can’t get a Pedigree so let’s go back to Jericho. Chris yells at Dean for the $15,000 jacket issue, earning himself some really bad armdrags. An enziguri cuts Dean down for two but Ambrose is right back with a bunch of right hands to the head. Shane comes in for the first time and my interest goes down. I’m still not a fan of middle aged Shane and this isn’t likely to change things.

Shane’s bad punches and an armdrag (better than Dean’s) take Jericho down until a dropkick cuts him off. The announcers debate the TV ratings as Reigns comes in and gets booed out of the building. Roman hammers him down in the corner and Seth comes in for a chinlock. That’s broken up so let’s go with Dean vs. Kevin. Owens hits a superkick but gets caught in a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho break up Dirty Deeds.

Everything breaks down and Strowman tags himself in, leaving the fans to chant for Ellsworth. The fight heads outside with Dean being left alone in the ring until Strowman catches his slingshot dive. Strowman walks him around the ring until AJ’s slingshot forearm to the floor breaks it up. Owens dives onto everyone and Strowman tosses Shane across the ring in a pretty good power display.

Some double teaming doesn’t do much to stop Strowman but they manage to knock him outside. That’s enough of Dean and Ambrose working together so they get in a fight, allowing Strowman to hit the running powerslam for the pin on Dean at 15:57. AJ was looking right at the cover and didn’t move. Shane gets to beat on Strowman for a bit but thankfully he gets hammered down as well.

The Phenomenal Forearm is pulled out of the air with AJ being tossed outside in a nasty heap. Orton gets thrown aside too but a stare from Bray stops Strowman in his tracks. Strowman grabs Jericho by the throat but decides to run Bray over instead, followed by a dropkick to put him on the floor. Braun goes outside as well but runs into an RKO onto the announcers’ table. After we pause to see what a random eight year old fan thought of it (he was applauding), Shane drops the top rope elbow to put Strowman through said table. That and Ellsworth grabbing Braun’s foot get Strowman counted out at 21:18.

Strowman catches Ellsworth running up the ramp though (How slow is this guy?) and throws him off the stage through some tables. Everyone else is mostly dead until Jericho covers Shane for two. Owens is fresh enough to drop the backsplash on Shane for two (but only after mocking the dance). There’s the Lionsault but Shane gets two of his own off a small package.

Shane takes a Codebreaker but Orton comes in before the cover, meaning Shane survives another finisher. He avoids a top rope splash though and it’s off to AJ to work on Jericho. With Owens getting in an insult to AJ’s hair (too far man), Jericho counters the Styles Clash into a failed Walls attempt. The Phenomenal Blitz rocks Jericho but Owens comes in with the List of Jericho to blast AJ. That’s a DQ at 29:23, but not before he gives AJ a Pop Up Powerbomb.

Orton gets the tag and comes in with the RKO to get rid of Jericho at 30:19. Notice Reigns blankly staring up at the ramp and not hearing the RKO RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. So it’s down to Shane/AJ/Orton/Wyatt vs. Reigns/Rollins with Orton hammering on Rollins to start. Wyatt and Orton take turns on Seth as Shane is still laid on the apron after his long time in the ring. The superplex takes Rollins down (looks great too) but it allows the hot tag to Reigns. AJ comes in as well and MY GOODNESS the fans do not like Reigns.

House is cleaned with a series of Samoan drops, followed by a great looking Razor’s Edge powerbomb for two on AJ. Seriously that was good enough to cut off the booing. A Pele cuts off a Superman Punch and it’s back to Shane for no logical reason. Shane gets in a tornado DDT to drop Reigns and a clothesline takes Rollins down. Reigns tries a spear but gets awkwardly countered into the post.

In probably the spot of the match, Shane loads up Coast to Coast but gets speared out of the air for a SICK landing. Shane actually kicks out at two but you can see that he is completely gone. Like Lesnar after the botched shooting star gone. The referee says Shane is eliminated at 37:07, presumably due to his brains looking like a pie that has been run over by a bus driven by raccoons.

We pause for a bit as doctors get Shane out of the ring until Roman blasts Bray with a clothesline. Rollins and AJ get stereo hot tags with Seth’s Blockbuster putting Styles down. There’s the slingshot knee to AJ and a suicide dive to Wyatt. With Reigns down on the floor, let’s hit that ROMAN’S SLEEPING chant! Still one of my favorites because the fans just will not give him a break no matter what. An enziguri staggers AJ on top and now it’s WAKE UP ROMAN. Reigns does in fact wake up and saves Rollins from a hanging DDT on the floor.

With Orton down, it seems as good a time as any for a DoubleBomb. Styles makes a save before it can be loaded up but here’s Ambrose to jump Styles again. The fans call Dean a STUPID IDIOT as the former Shield beats up security. NOW the TripleBomb puts AJ through the table, allowing Rollins to get the pin at 47:00. It’s down to two on two with the Wyatts vs. the Shield (not the worst idea in the world)….and here’s Luke Harper for a distraction so the Wyatts can take over.

Reigns posts Orton but Harper superkicks him down, only to have Rollins score with a flip dive to the floor. Back in and the low superkick hits Wyatt but he dives into an RKO, giving Bray the pin at 49:25. Reigns, all alone, sends both of them outside and takes Harper out as a bonus. Back in and Orton eats a spear to save Wyatt, leaving Bray to grab Sister Abigail for the pin at 52:50.

Rating: A. This is a great example of a match that benefits from all of the time it had. What I loved about this was how long it took to take someone out. Most of the people in here were former World Champions and it doesn’t make sense to have them losing in a minute or two like in the other matches. They let the match build up for a change and that’s what makes this feel important.

Above all else though, this felt like someone surviving instead of whoever was left last. Look at the women’s match. Bayley barely looked like she had been through anything at the end. Orton and Wyatt looked banged up, which is how they should after a match like this. It’s a well put together match that got the kind of time it needed, which is exactly how something like this should be. Really strong stuff here with Bray, who actually needed it, getting the win.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was being interviewed about being in WWE2K16 and said he didn’t owe Lesnar a rematch. Lesnar challenged him though and Goldberg wanted his son to see him wrestle. The match was on and it does indeed feel like a battle of two people who could kill each other.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

We get the full Goldberg entrance, complete with someone knocking on his door. Lesnar drives him into the corner to start but Goldberg shoves him right back down, scaring the heck out of Lesnar in the process. Back up and the spear connects to drop Lesnar again. There’s a second spear, followed by a Jackhammer to give Goldberg the huge upset at 1:25.

Yeah I still don’t like it. Sure it was shocking and a huge moment, but what did this set up? Goldberg eliminating Lesnar from the Rumble, Goldberg getting the most unnecessary Universal Title reign ever, and then a good sub five minute match at Wrestlemania. One of WWE’s biggest issues is giving fans something to cheer for and they give this spot to Goldberg, who they didn’t even create, for the sake of a video game (might not have been their call) and a story that could have made someone’s career. After this, Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman both fell to Lesnar, but Goldberg doesn’t. I don’t buy it, nor to I like it.

Goldberg celebrates with his family to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. One of the major perks about a match running nearly an hour on a three and a half hour show is that it can REALLY bring an overall rating up. Throw in a good women’s match and nothing really bad, this is actually a strong show. It’s far from perfect (main event aside, though that was the only thing that could have closed the show) but it’s a heck of a card, which I can always go for of course. The main issue is they could have gotten this one under three hours so it’s a bit long but nothing too bad. Really solid show though and most of that is due to the mega long match.

Ratings Comparison

Rich Swann/Noam Dar/TJ Perkins vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Original: C

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Luke Harper

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Women’s Survivor Series Match

Original: C

Redo: C+

Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Tag Team Survivor Series Match

Original: D+

Redo: B

Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Original: C

Redo: C-

Men’s Survivor Series Match

Original: A-

Redo: A

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B+

My eyebrows went up when I saw the original overall rating. The year of mellowing on the ending have helped a lot as there’s no way this is a B-. Also I really couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/11/20/survivor-series-2016-there-are-no-words/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

It’s one of my favorite times of the wrestling year as we’re up to Survivor Series. As usual I’m redoing an old show to go with last year’s, and this time around it’s from my favorite era. The vote went to the 1988 edition and that means the Mega Powers are running wild. Other than that, there’s a heck of a tag team showcase. Let’s get to it.

In a sign of the times, there’s no opening sequence and we go straight to the announcers welcoming us to the show.

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Jim Brunzell, Sam Houston, Blue Blazer

Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine

Warrior took the Intercontinental Title from Honky Tonk Man about two months ago. Everyone else is just kind of thrown in, including Brunzell, who is replacing Don Muraco after Don left the company. Even the announcers think it’s a bad idea to have Brown on a team. Beefcake hammers on Valentine (See what I did there?) to start but Davis, the EVIL referee, knees Beefcake from the apron.

Not that it matters as Brutus slaps on the sleeper and Davis is done in less than a minute and a half. Honestly, what else were you supposed to do with him? Valentine comes back in and Jesse gets on Beefcake for not tagging out (which was actually a problem for him last year too). Blazer (Owen Hart as a superhero) comes in off the top to start on Valentine’s arm until Brunzell gets the tag to do the same.

The great looking dropkick plants Greg but Brown makes a blind tag and beats the tar out of Brunzell. Bad News finally gets tired of it and scores the elimination off a Ghetto Blaster (enziguri, a pretty awesome looking move at the time). The rather skinny dancing cowboy (it was a different time) Sam Houston comes in and gets hammered in the chest (Jesse: “Welcome to the big time kid.”), followed by a clothesline (which also hammers him in the chest).

Valentine comes in and hits Brown by mistake so Bad News walks out, as you kind of knew he would. That’s a great way to protect him, especially when he’d be getting some World Title shots on the house show circuit in January and February. Houston tries a sunset flip but gets punched in the face and it’s off to Bass (the evil cowboy). Another sunset flip doesn’t work as Houston needs to find something else. A powerslam plants Houston, just as I realize that he looks like someone let the air out of Tito Santana.

Warrior comes in and drops Bass with a right hand and a corner clothesline. Honky Tonk Man and Valentine are knocked away as well as the fans are going nuts. A Rocket Launcher gives Blazer two on Bass and Honky Tonk Man gets dropkicked into the corner. Blazer powerslams Valentine down but Honky Tonk shoves him off the top, setting up a Figure Four to make Blazer give up. Superman has Kyptonite, Martian Manhunter has fire and Blue Blazer has leg submissions.

Beefcake comes in and Jesse actually brings up their partnership. So we’re down to Beefcake/Warrior vs. Valentine/Honky Tonk Man/Bass and Beefcake is in trouble. The Shake Rattle and Roll is broken up with a backdrop and a right hand knocks Honky Tonk Man out of the air. There’s the atomic drop for the funny sell job but Beefcake STILL won’t tag. Seriously dude learn your lesson already.

Beefcake grabs the sleeper but he and Honky Tonk Man fall out to the floor. The sleeper goes on outside and that’s a double countout to get us down to 2-1. The double teaming begins in a hurry and Warrior is in trouble in the corner. A double clothesline takes the villains down and back to back ax handles give Warrior the win at 17:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t great but it was a good choice for the opener. The fans are going to eat up Warrior and Beefcake every time and those were some fine choices for villains to dispatch. There was no way Warrior was going to lose here though and it was nothing more than a showcase for his new title reign. That’s hardly a problem as it worked the previous year, albeit with some far, far better talent.

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Demolition/Brain Busters/Bolsheviks/Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Los Conquistadors

Powers of Pain/Rockers/British Bulldogs/Hart Foundation/Young Stallions

Here’s a famous one and to clear up a common misconception: this is NOT the only time Bret and Shawn teamed up as they were together on some house shows in the 90s. All the managers are here too, making this one of the best who’s whos in wrestling history. As you might guess, any wrestler being eliminated means his partner is gone as well.

Davey Boy Smith and Conquistador #1 start things off and I’m not going to bother mentioning every tag. With so many people to feature, there’s not going to be much more than a few seconds of action for each. Shawn gets taken into the wrong corner, though there are wrestlers almost surrounding the apron, which means we need a variety of camera angles to make sure we can see most of the early action.

Marty dropkicks Arn (who Jesse praises) down so it’s off to Tully as I really want to see Bret in there now. Instead it’s Jacques coming in and missing a middle rope crossbody, allowing a tag off to Dynamite Kid. Ray Rougeau comes in and it’s a good thing Dynamite doesn’t break his nose. Bret comes in and a quick small package gets rid of the Rougeaus so we can have a little room.

It’s off to Neidhart, who is quickly caught in the wrong corner. An awkward looking clothesline takes Smash down and it’s Barbarian coming in for the real showdown. That always awesome big boot takes Smash’s head off and it’s back to Bret to hammer away on Ax’s ribs. Tully comes in with a top rope shot to the ribs as this should get entertaining in a hurry. Shawn and Ax get the tags and it’s time to demolish Michaels, which will never get old. It’s off to Nikolai Volkoff for the gorilla press backbreaker (albeit a sloppy one), followed by a great looking spinebuster from Anderson. You can hear the fans react to it as well, which they certainly should.

A Conquistador comes in and gives up a hot tag to Jannetty. The rapid tags continue until it’s Davey’s turn to take Nikolai’s kick to the ribs. Tully misses an elbow drop though and it’s off to the Warlord vs. Ax for the big showdown of the match. Warlord gets the better of it and trips the now legal Smash down just as easily. It’s already off to Barbarian for a running knee to the ribs as another team needs to be eliminated in short order. Tully comes back in and walks into a gorilla press hot shot, followed by a powerslam from Neidhart for two.

Next up is Dynamite getting stomped down so it’s off to Jim Powers to hammer on Zhukov. Boris rolls through a middle rope crossbody though and gets rid of Powers to tie things up. Shawn comes back in to speed things up again, including a middle rope fist drop for a near fall. It’s back to Tully who sees Barbarian waiting on him and struts over to Volkoff for the tag. The Russian actually takes over and hands it off to Ax, who hammers Barbarian down without much effort.

It’s Shawn back in a few seconds later and a blind tag allows Marty to sunset flip Boris for the pin and an elimination. As has been the custom so far though, Marty gets beaten down just after having some success. It’s right back to the Bulldog to face Tully with a hard toss sending Blanchard into the corner. The next tag in a very, very long series of them brings in Neidhart for something like a Demolition Decapitator on Dos. Dynamite with his sweet 70s mustache comes in for a middle rope knee and it’s back to Barbarian.

Hang on a second though as Bobby needs to give Tully some instructions before he gets pounded down. The advice seems to be a tag to Smash, who hammers Barbarian down for a neck crank. That goes nowhere either so it’s off to Neidhart to suplex Blanchard, followed by a backbreaker from Bret. They head into the corner with Bret trying a German suplex but Tully raises an arm for the pin and an elimination.

We’re down to the Powers of Pain/Rockers/British Bulldogs vs. Demolition/Brain Busters/Conquistadors with Dynamite getting two on Tully off a Tombstone. Shawn comes in and it’s a four way brawl between the Brain Busters and the Rockers, drawing a double DQ to really clear the ring out some more. The fans are NOT pleased with that but we’re at nearly half an hour into this with four teams left so it’s something that had to be done.

Ax cranks on Dynamite’s neck as the four eliminated guys fight to the back. Davey comes in and crucifixes Ax for two, only to get sent hard into the corner. It’s back to Dynamite for some forearms to Smash’s head but, as has been the case all match long, the tag is just allowed with little resistance offered. Davey gorilla presses and powerslams Uno but it’s right back to Ax vs. Barbarian with the latter being hammered down. Jesse talks about this being the dream match, which we’ve heard multiple times now.

Dos comes in and eats a double back elbow for, uh, dos, followed by Dynamite getting the same off a gutwrench suplex. A big legdrop from Warlord gets no cover and both Jesse and Gorilla are all over him for such a stupid mistake. To top that, Dynamite does the same thing for probably the fourth time tonight. The snap suplex to Smash sets up the diving headbutt but Dynamite only hits the mat, giving Smash the pin. That’s it for the Bulldogs in the WWF as Dynamite’s back was basically held together by gum and paperclips at this point. Throw in a fight with the Rougeau Brothers and there was just no future for them here.

Warlord goes shoulder first into the post and Ax hammers away as Jesse still can’t believe that the Conquistadors are still around. Fair enough point actually. Demolition’s manager Mr. Fuji gets on the apron to yell at Ax despite the team being in control. That’s rather odd and sounds quite a bit like a plot point. A neck crank slows things down again but Warlord shoves Smash to the ropes, which Fuji pulls down to send Smash outside. Ax goes over to check on his partner but Smash is counted out to get us down to two on two.

Fuji and Ax get in an argument with Fuji hitting him with the cane. Smash is up though and slams Fuji down before leaving. The Powers of Pain go to check on Fuji though and we’ve got the ultra rare double turn. I mean, it didn’t really work immediately but it does solve the problem of BRINGING IN THE POWERS OF PAIN AS FACES. It’s one thing to have a pair of power brawlers as faces when they have the Legion of Doom’s charisma but that’s certainly not the case here. So the Conquistadors hammer on Warlord until Fuji trips Dos up, allowing Barbarian to drop a headbutt and FINALLY wrap this up at 42:24.

Rating: A-. The amazing roster is what people remember the most here and I can’t say I blame them. The double turn is cool and all but sweet goodness it’s hard to remember that when you see all the talent in this thing. You might never see a better collection of talent (and the Young Stallions) in a single match. The problem here though is having too many people around, making it pretty difficult to have anyone stand out. It’s a very good match though and easily the highlight of the night.

Demolition comes back in to brawl with the Powers of Pain.

Bad News Brown doesn’t care about Survivor Series but thinks he should be the WWF World Champion. He’s beaten everyone who has been put against him, including winning the Wrestlemania battle royal. It’s kind of odd to see them reference something from that long ago at this point and I rather like it. Now I’d like to get away from Brown as those big eyes are still intimidating.

Gorilla and Jesse discuss Brown as the intermission continues.

Fuji is with the Powers of Pain and thinks Demolition was getting too overconfident so it’s time for a new team. Barbarian actually talks, which is certainly a rarity in this company. Gene doesn’t think Fuji can be trusted, and I for one believe Mean Gene Okerlund.

Gorilla and Jesse don’t have much on that one, as it pretty much speaks for itself.

We look at the remaining two matches in those always awesome squares. The sobering/surprising part: of the heels in the next match, Harley Race, the veteran at this point, is the only one still alive. Even the managers are both gone.

Team Andre is ready for their match with Bobby Heenan saying everyone is going to be afraid of Andre. For reasons that I don’t want to fathom, Dino Bravo is co-captain and promises to put some shame in Jim Duggan. Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect and Andre all say they’ll win. Harley Race doesn’t get to say anything. How rude indeed.

Team Mega Powers is united and ready to fight. Koko B. Ware, Hercules and Hillbilly Jim all come off as filler and it’s hard to fathom that they’re in a pay per view main event. Well maybe not Hercules.

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Ken Patera, Scott Casey, Tito Santana

Andre the Giant, Dino Bravo, Harley Race, Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect

Patera is a strongman, Casey is a jobber to the stars (He’s replacing B. Brian Blair, who was replacing Junkyard Dog. He also went on to train Booker T.) and the main feuds here are Jake vs. Andre and Duggan vs. Bravo. In an odd thing to hear, Perfect is introduce as Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig. Rude and Patera start things off with Ken shoving him away as Gorilla talks about Patera retiring him.

Bravo comes in for a really bad power battle. Thankfully it doesn’t last long, though Jesse does manage to get in his talk about Bravo’s bench pressing abilities. It’s off to the awesome matchup of Jake vs. Perfect (who I really hope had a 20+ minute match at some point) with Roberts getting the better of it and handing it off to Tito (who also should have gone 20+ with Perfect). Bravo comes back in and gets his arm cranked on for a bit. Casey hits an ax handle but walks into an atomic drop.

It’s off to Race for a belly to belly before handing it off to Rude. A headbutt staggers Perfect and it’s off to Patera for an elbow to the face. Duggan comes in to a heck of a reaction and clotheslines the heck out of Perfect. A right hand in the corner staggers him again but Andre reaches over the ropes and grabs Duggan’s head to take over. Gorilla turns this into an ad for the Royal Rumble in a pivot that would have made Vince proud.

Tito hits something like the flying forearm for two on Rude but Duggan misses an elbow drop. A double collision puts Rude and Duggan down and it’s back to Patera. Since Ken isn’t all that good though, he charges into a boot in the corner and the Rude Awakening makes it 5-4. Casey charges in and gets dropkicked down by Race, followed by Bravo’s side slam for the pin. Duggan comes in swinging away as his team is suddenly in BIG trouble. Unfortunately he winds up in the wrong corner as well (he never was all that bright) and the one sided beating continues.

Duggan finally gets away for a clothesline and it’s off to Race vs. Santana (sweet goodness the teases of awesome matches in this one are almost too much to take). That one doesn’t last too long though as Bravo comes back in and gets sunset flipped for two more. Race comes in again and grabs the piledriver for two (that probably should have been a finisher), only to walk into Tito’s flying forearm for the pin.

Santana’s reward is Andre, who chops him down with ease and hammers away like King Kong swatting at a fly. For some reason Tito tries a sunset flip and Andre sits/falls on him for the elimination. We’re down to Andre/Perfect/Rude/Bravo vs. Roberts/Duggan, with the latter knocking Andre into the ropes. Jake comes in and chokes away, only to have Rude tag himself in and knock Jake into the corner.

We hit the hip swivel and it’s off to Perfect, who I bet can do a mean swivel of his own. Jake is in trouble but manages to clothesline Bravo (who would be the weak link of the team), only to have Rude clothesline him from the apron. One heck of a right hand puts Roberts down, allowing Dino to grab a piledriver of his own. That’s only good for two as well, allowing Duggan to come in off another hot tag. The three point clothesline is loaded up but Bravo’s manager Frenchy Martin (a worthless and rather bulbous excuse for a manager if there ever was one) pulls him to the floor.

Duggan has had enough and brings in the 2×4 to blast Bravo in the ribs, making it 4-1. Roberts gets to deal with Perfect first and knees him away, meaning it’s time for more Bravo. For some reason Jake tries a test of strength and is quickly taken down. The threat of a DDT is blocked with a back body drop and Bravo brings Rude in again.

Rick slowly hammers Jake down as Jesse suggests that Jake’s wife Cheryl will leave Jake for Rude if Jake loses. A quickly broken bearhug has Jake in trouble but he pulls Rude’s tights down. It’s enough of a distraction for a DDT to get rid of Rude but it’s Andre time. The choking ensues and Andre is quickly disqualified but Jake is more or less dead, giving Perfect the easy pin at 30:02.

Rating: C. This was another long match but it told a good story. The villains were COMPLETELY dominant here and Duggan and Roberts were the only ones who could do anything. It makes Jake and Duggan look good, but they were overmatched by the whole team. It keeps the feuds ready for next time when the heroes can fight back. It’s a smart story and things are set up well for the future. The match wasn’t the worst and it’s nice to have the whole version as the Coliseum Video version cut this down to EIGHT MINUTES.

Team Twin Towers is ready to destroy the Mega Powers. You’re not going to do that chums. For some reason the camera goes into an EXTREME closeup on Boss Man when he’s talking about crushing Hogan. That was a heck of a disturbing visual.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules

Big Boss Man, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, King Haku, Ted Rooster

Akeem is freshly off his transformation from the One Man Gang. Also, sweet goodness that’s quite the fall for DiBiase, who was helping to get the title off Hogan just ten months earlier. Of note here: Hogan gets his own entrance while the rest of the team comes out on their own. What a selfish hero. Hercules wants to start with DiBiase (who recently purchased Hercules and called him a slave) but it’s Savage starting for the team instead. Somehow we don’t get a reference to Wrestlemania and it’s off to Hercules after a clothesline from Savage.

Rooster comes in and stops Koko in the corner as I wonder how we got two bird brains in the main event. It’s already back to Hercules to slug it out with Haku but he hands it off to Hogan in short order. A double big boot with Hillbilly helping Hulk drops Haku but it’s quickly back to the Rooster. My goodness they’re tagging fast tonight. The Rooster tries to ram Koko’s head into the corner and the powers of racial stereotypes takes over. A missile dropkick puts Rooster down and Savage drops the elbow for the first elimination.

The good guys clear the ring and we take a brief break as Heenan apologizes for his man losing so quickly. Haku comes in and pokes Hogan in the eye and a heck of a dropkick puts him down. Hercules comes in, gets slammed, and it’s right back to Hillbilly. Thanks for coming in Herc. Akeem splashes Jim in the corner a few times and the running splash ties things up. Koko comes back in and throws a few right hands before Hogan comes back in instead. There really is no hiding the fact that this is ALL about Hogan and Savage (as it should be of course).

Koko and Hercules take turns hammering on Akeem until Koko misses a charge in the corner. The Boss Man Slam gets rid of Ware and it’s 4-3. Boss Man turns around and gets Hogan, drawing a heck of a reaction from the crowd. Right hands set up a slam on the Boss Man but Hogan charges into a spinebuster (still weird for that to not have an official name). The running crotch attack has Hogan in more trouble and it’s off to DiBiase for a clothesline. That’s already enough for the Hulk Up and an atomic drop but Hogan is nice enough to hand it off to Hercules.

The beating is on (Jesse: “A slave doing this to his master!”) and some clotheslines have DiBiase in trouble until Virgil trips him up. DiBiase grabs a rollup to get rid of Hercules but Savage is smart enough to run in and grab a rollup of his own to eliminate DiBiase. That leaves the Twin Towers/Haku vs. the Mega Powers and it should be a matter of time now. Savage leg dives Haku and brings in Hogan, who eats a superkick to put Hulk in trouble. The Towers take turns beating Hulk down and we hit the nerve hold from Haku.

For some reason Boss Man tries a top rope splash and, of course, misses completely. The hot tag brings in Savage but Slick makes a quick trip (WAY too common of an idea on this show). Slick grabs Miss Elizabeth and of course you know this means war. It’s Hogan making the save but Boss Man cuffs him to the ropes, which takes too long, earning himself a countout. Boss Man beats the heck out of Hogan with the nightstick before doing the same thing to Savage.

That’s enough to DQ Akeem and unfortunately we don’t get the over the top Jesse reaction. Haku misses an elbow on Savage and of course Slick taunts the cuffed Hogan with the key. A missed superkick takes Slick down and Elizabeth steals the key, freeing Hogan as Savage is being mauled. Haku’s top rope splash gets two and another superkick puts Savage in the corner for the tag. The big boot and legdrop wrap things up at 29:08.

Rating: C+. This really was just about the last five minutes and maybe Hercules vs. DiBiase to a much lesser degree. At this point though, you need as much hype towards Hogan vs. Savage as you can have and five months in advance is more than acceptable. It’s not a great match or even close to one but it was entertaining and accomplished the primary goal. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Hogan poses and hugs Elizabeth without even checking on Savage. Randy poses as well but clearly isn’t cool with all this. I love how Hogan was made the face in this whole thing. Today he would be the top heel in about five minutes but there was no way that was working in 1988.

Overall Rating: B. While not as good as the first edition, this show more than holds its own and has a classic (albeit a VERY long one) to bolster some not great action otherwise. There’s a story/point to every match and they did a good job of further establishing the concept. It was hardly a played out idea at this point and the matches were given ample time (too much in some cases) to flesh out the pretty new match. It’s so weird to see this as more of a stepping stone to Wrestlemania, which was the be all and end all even back then. Good show this year but not as good as the first edition.

Ratings Comparison

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: D

2012 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C

Team Powers of Pain vs. Team Demolition

Original: A

2012 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

Team Andre the Giant vs. Team Jim Duggan

Original: F

2012 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: C

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Original: D+

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

I must have been in a really, really bad mood the first time I watched this as only the second match is in the same ballpark. Everything else is pretty much the same and I think we have my definitive take on this show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/07/history-of-surivor-series-count-up-1988-more-clips-than-my-last-haircut/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/10/28/survivor-series-count-up-1988-viva-los-conquistadores/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2017
Date: August 20, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,128
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s kind of amazing how these modern shows go in one ear and out the other. Aside from the main event, I couldn’t tell you a single thing on this show, and I can tell you every match (mostly in order) from the first seventeen or so Wrestlemanias. It’s the nature of the shows being built up so fast and then running so long, as the same is true of shows I’ve been to even this year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: The Miz/Miztourage vs. Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan

Rematch from Raw. Now this one I remember because it took place about twenty minutes into the two hour Kickoff Show and the place was embarrassingly empty with MAYBE twenty percent of the place full. It’s just awful looking as the fans who aren’t in yet (as in the majority of them) are going to be annoyed at missing a match and the wrestlers have to go out in front of this empty building like they’re on some nothing indy show (in a huge arena for some reason). I mean, what in the world is the point?

Matt headlocks Axel to start and it’s quickly off to Jeff as the dozens and dozens of fans get behind the good guys. Jordan comes in to crank on the arm to no reaction, at least partially because there aren’t many people here to cheer. A dropkick gets two on Dallas and Jordan muscles him down to the mat.

Everything breaks down and Jordan directs traffic as the Hardys chop away in the corner. Axel saves Dallas from the Swanton and we take a break. Back with Jeff getting two off a basement dropkick as the crowd is now just embarrassing instead of depressing. Dallas pushed Jeff off the top though and it’s time to start the stomping in the corner. Miz (oh yeah he’s in this match) comes in for a reverse chinlock but Jeff kicks him away without too much effort.

Instead it’s Axel coming in to twist Jeff’s neck around as the fans chant for BROTHER NERO. Jeff dropkicks Miz and Dallas off the apron and knocks Axel away as well, allowing the lukewarm tag off to Matt. The middle rope elbow to the back of the neck gets two on Miz but he’s right back up with the YES Kicks. Matt shrugs those off though and there’s a Side Effect for the same. Jordan comes in to throw Axel around, including a suplex for two. Everything breaks down and Miz makes a blind tag, setting up a Skull Crushing Finale to pin Jordan at 10:31.

Rating: C. The crowd killed what would have otherwise been a pretty good six man tag. When you can hear the wrestlers breathing, it’s pretty clear that there isn’t much going on in the arena, which isn’t exactly the atmosphere you want for a show billed as a big party. The match itself was fine, and it helps to not have watched it six days earlier.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Akira Tozawa vs. Neville

Tozawa, part of Titus Worldwide, is defending after winning the title from Neville on Monday. He also has a banged up shoulder. You remember Neville. He was the awesome guy who turned into one of the best heels in the company but WWE decided that having him put over Enzo Amore made more sense and since there was apparently no way Neville could be a heavyweight again, he walked out a few months later.

Neville shoulders him down to start and then dropkicks the glare off of Tozawa’s face. That’s it for now though as Neville sends him outside and screams a lot, as is his custom. The jumping backsplash crushes Neville back inside but he’s able to snap Tozawa’s throat across the top rope. Back from a break with Neville scoring off a missile dropkick to the back for two and stopping to sneer.

The chinlock lets Tozawa have a breather and he fights up to send Neville outside again. That means the big suicide dive and a Saito suplex but it’s too early for the top rope backsplash. Instead Tozawa reverses a fireman’s carry into an Octopus hold as he’s certainly keeping things varied. Neville makes the ropes so Tozawa hits a Shining Wizard for two.

An enziguri staggers Tozawa but he’s right back with a second Shining Wizard to put both guys down. Tozawa is up first but gets pulled down by the bad shoulder. His legs are fine enough to kick Neville in the head and it’s time to go up again. After knocking Neville off the top, the backsplash hits knees and the champ is in big trouble. Neville jumps up top and hits the Red Arrow to the back for the pin and the title at 11:45.

Rating: C+. I get what they were going for here with the title change taking place on Summerslam but why not go with the first title change here and then switch it back tomorrow or the next week on Raw? Or, dare I suggest it, on 205 Live? Other than that it felt like they were just kind of going through the motions at times, but Neville going through the motions is still pretty good.

The crowd is fine now.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. New Day

New Day is defending in what is kind of another Smackdown rematch, though it’s a different New Day lineup. Tonight it’s Woods and Big E., who has a huge cape. On the way to the ring, Kofi talks about how this is the place New Day first sang together and the original Francesca was born. Her sacrifice is what allowed us to have Francesca II: TURBO. Tonight they’re here to tear the house down with the Usos one more time.

Woods and Jimmy start things off in a technical sequence until Woods hits a roaring elbow to knock Jimmy’s block off. Some forearms in the corner have Jimmy in trouble but he gets in a shot to the face to stagger Woods. Back from a break with Jey putting on a chinlock and then slinging Woods into the corner. Woods knocks Jey off the top and avoids a charge from Jimmy. A missile dropkick has Jey in trouble but Jimmy pulls Big E. off the apron.

Thankfully the hot tag isn’t just a few seconds later and a backbreaker/middle rope knee combination gets two. Woods is in big trouble but scores with a victory roll faceplant (not a bad little move), which is finally enough for the hot tag to Big E. House is cleaned, including the release Rock Bottom out of the corner for two on Jey. Big E. powerbombs Woods onto Jey as the fast tags begin.

Woods even manages to electric chair Big E. so he can splash Jey as well but Jimmy comes in for a save. The double spinebuster gets two on Big E. and there’s the running Umaga attack for good measure as the pace picks up. Woods comes back in for a Rock Bottom into a Backstabber, which is somehow only good for two. That’s a heck of a finisher for those two if they’re ever a regular team.

Jey gets a blind tag but Woods knocks both Usos to the floor just in case. Big E.’s spear through the ropes is cut off by a superkick and a Superfly Splash while he’s still stuck in the ropes. The regular Superfly Splash gets a close two on Woods but he pulls Jey into a Koji Clutch. That’s broken up as well so Woods goes with a Shining Wizard for two.

A tornado DDT to the floor plants Jey and Jimmy takes the Midnight Hour, only to have Jey dive in at the last second for another save. Jimmy Samoan drops Woods to the floor and Kofi gets sent into the steps for checking on his buddy. Big E. is right back up with the spear through the ropes to take Jey down. Woods is done though and it’s four straight superkicks to Big E. into the double Us to give the Usos the titles back at 19:09.

Rating: B. Is there any surprise that this was the best thing on the Kickoff Show? This took some time to get going but these four delivered, as always. They know how to work well together and the diving saves for the false finishes were great. You could run these two over and over again, which is exactly what happened for the next few months. That can only go on for so long though, and that’s why the division isn’t great to this day.

The opening video starts with a shot of Brooklyn before heading backstage. The bigger matches get a quick look as someone spray paints the Summerslam logo onto a wall. That’s rather generic for the opening of such a big show.

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin attacked Shinsuke Nakamura after Nakamura beat Cena, who made the save. Cena then cost Corbin his Money in the Bank cash-in to really hammer this home. The fans, ever so nice, ask Baron where his briefcase is. Cena slides outside to mock Corbin, even throwing on JBL’s hat. Well that makes any adult look like a moron so Corbin gives chase but Cena slides back in.

A headlock keeps Corbin on trouble as JBL points out the Cena issue with the crowd: they’re always chanting about him, whether it’s positive or negative. That’s not the best sign for the opponents, but at least Corbin had the chant to start the match. Some knees to the ribs put Cena in trouble and Corbin pops him in the jaw with a right hand.

The slide underneath the corner sets up the hard clothesline for two and Corbin is already looking frustrated. A suplex gets the same so it’s time to yell at the referee. Corbin hits a World’s Strongest Slam and we hit the chinlock. The fans ask about the briefcase again so Corbin says it’s on Cena. Another comeback starts up with the flying shoulders until Corbin slides under the ropes again, only to slide back in for a chokebreaker.

Cena blocks a superplex attempt and hits a tornado DDT, sending the fans right back into their chorus of booing. The AA is reversed into a Deep Six and Corbin can’t believe the kickout. He’s so serious that the shirt comes off and more slugging ensues. Cena sends him into the corner for the third slide but this time Corbin eats a big clothesline. The AA is good for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: D+. So that happened. The story wasn’t great, the action was nothing to see and Cena hit all of two moves to win in the end. Cena would go on to feud with Roman Reigns for the real rub, but that’s not the best way to boost Corbin. Just a complete nothing of a match here and it felt like they were getting it out of the way instead of featuring it, which is really weird to see for Cena.

Cena hugging kids and throwing his wristbands and dog tags is always cool to see. That just works.

Some wrestlers played Rocket League.

We recap Naomi vs. Natalya. Naomi won the title at Wrestlemania but Natalya thinks she’s turned it into a toy. Natalya attacked Becky Lynch after a match so Naomi made the save. This qualifies for the build to a title match.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Naomi

Naomi is defending and gets slapped in the face at the bell but snaps off a hurricanrana to get herself out of trouble. A Blockbuster off the steps gives Naomi two more but Natalya posts her hard to take over. Back in and Natalya stomps away but the emotional offense has never been her strong suit. James Ellsworth and Miss Money in the Bank Carmella are watching in the back (she held that thing so long that she is still champion and Ellsworth has left, returned and left again in less than a year) as Natalya hits a running clothesline.

Naomi’s kicks to the legs don’t have much effect so Natalya grabs an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Natalya hits the discus lariat for two and loads up a superplex. Naomi slips out and hits a super Russian legsweep, which of course gets us to even despite both of them taking the same impact. A spinning kick to the head and a headscissors driver give Naomi two but the dancing kicks are shrugged off (as they should be) with Natalya dropkicking her in the face.

Natalya gets caught in the ropes though and a slingshot legdrop gives Naomi two. The reverse Rings of Saturn is countered into the Sharpshooter but Naomi pulls rolls through and sends Natalya head first into the buckle. Not that it matters though as the split legged moonsault misses, setting up another Sharpshooter to make Naomi tap at 10:50.

Rating: D+. I was bored during this as Natalya is a black hole of charisma and Naomi isn’t the best at being serious. The wrestling was dull too and there was nothing happening here to draw me in. It doesn’t help when the women’s division on both shows have been dominated by the Four Horsewomen for so long that it’s almost impossible to get invested in anyone else (though Naomi has come a long, long way in the last year).

Post match Naomi is rather depressed.

We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show. Cass and Enzo Amore have split up and Show is standing up for him. Tonight though Enzo is being locked in a cage (good start) and Show has a broken hand thanks to Cass crushing it in the shark cage.

Big Show vs. Big Cass

Before the match, Enzo makes various Brooklyn/New York City rap references. He talks about loving to talk and how his worst day is better than Cass’ best and Cass has no heart. Thankfully Cass comes out to cut off the never ending promo and Enzo goes up in the cage. Show, not being the brightest guy in the world, hits Cass with the broken hand as Enzo is already running his mouth. He dances in the cage a bit, shouting about having the best seat in the house.

Cass gets thrown around and kicked in the ribs and there’s the side slam, only to have Show bang up the hand again. Enzo shouts something about Patrick the Starfish as Show misses a Vader Bomb, injuring his hand again. Cass’ big boot is blocked by a weak KO punch for two but the second attempt hits Show’s chest. It’s time to start in on the hand even more, despite that not really doing anything that’s going to let Cass pin him. Something like an armbar has Enzo jumping up and down, further making me want to see him put inside a wood chipper.

The fans call the hold boring so Cass stops, poses, and puts it on again. Show throws him down and hits a left armed clothesline, followed by the chokeslam for two. The hand goes into the post as Enzo is leaning through the cage bars. With Show down, Enzo pulls off his pants and whips out a bottle of lubricant (there’s no way I’m touching that one), oils himself up, and gets out of the cage. The match completely stops until Enzo gets down so Cass can kick him in the face. A pair of big boots put Show down and the Empire Elbow is good for the pin at 10:29.

Rating: F+. What in the world was that supposed to be? This was all about the bad hand but somehow it became about Enzo, that loudmouthed idiot, and then Cass just wins clean. I have no idea how this was the best idea they had but it was an awful match and a big waste of time. If I ever see Enzo oiled up again, I’ll be off in the next room gouging my eyes out.

General Manager Kurt Angle and Daniel Bryan get in a YES/NO off about which show will be better for the rest of the night.

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Rusev jumps him from behind before the bell and Orton is in trouble. They get inside for the bell and it’s the RKO in ten seconds. That would be your “well the card is huge and we have to cut something” match of the night.

Bayley wishes Sasha Banks good luck tonight. Banks is taking her place due to a shoulder injury.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Banks is challenging and has special gear that makes her look like a peacock (so she’s copying Charlotte tonight). Bliss gets fired up to start and slugs away in the corner but Banks flips her around and hammers at the champ’s head. One heck of a forearm drops Banks and Bliss talks some trash. With the forearms boring her, Bliss pulls Banks’ hair around the ropes and crotches her on the middle rope for painful measure. We hit the chinlock as it’s almost all Bliss in the early going.

A lot more trash talk sets up a choke shove to put Banks down again as the fans are trying to get behind Banks. The middle rope knees into the moonsault knees give Bliss two more and she drops Banks on the back of her head for the same. Bliss goes to the middle rope and chokes some more until Banks slams her down. A dropkick and clothesline put the champ down for two but she knees Banks in the face to take over again. Bliss’ Code Red out of the corner is countered into something like an Alabama Slam, followed by just kneeing the heck out of Bliss in the corner.

The Bank Statement doesn’t work as Bliss is right next to the ropes. Bliss pulls her down into the ring skirt and dumps Banks to the floor for a near countout, with Bliss freaking out when she gets back in. Twisted Bliss only gets two more and now Bliss doesn’t know what to do. Since hitting it again is out of the question, Bliss picks her up and gets pulled down into the Bank Statement. Banks’ shoulder gives out so she tries the hold again and Bliss taps at 13:17.

Rating: C. Nothing much to see here with Banks shrugging off everything Bliss threw at her and winning without a ton of drama. Bliss got to show off the offense here and looked very good, though there’s not much she can do when Banks is on offense for all of a minute and a half and wins completely clean. Banks would lose the title just eight days later, continuing her trend of not being able to remain champion for very long.

Video on wrestlers auditioning to be the new Colonel Sanders. A fight breaks out and Shawn Michaels winds up winning in one of the most random, bizarre things you’ll ever see. Becky Lynch as the Colonel oddly works.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray had targeted Balor as his latest false idol, beat him on Raw, and covered him in fake blood. Balor then decided to bring the Demon back to fight as hard as he could. This worked in NXT but not up here and that was mainly for one reason: Cole explaining/hyping the Demon EVERY TWO FREAKING SECONDS, saying over and over that “the Demon is Finn Balor’s alter ego” because WWE doesn’t think its fans are that bright. I don’t think NXT ever actually explained it (if they did it was once) because they know how smart fans can be. And that’s why the Demon has never been back.

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

Cole mentions the Demon idea again during Bray’s entrance but gets cut off as He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands starts playing for Finn. We get the big smoky entrance with Finn looking awesome and the camera getting an AWESOME shot of him with his back to the ring and the crowd posing with him. Balor gets to the ring and LET’S HIT THAT EXPLANATION again. Seriously it’s not exactly a character that needs to be broken down and it’s made worse when Cole does it.

Wyatt is hesitant to start and a right hand just ticks Balor off. Balor shows him how to throw some real right hands and Wyatt needs a breather on the floor. You don’t do that to Balor, who charges around the corner to drop Wyatt again. Back in and Balor isn’t phased by the upside down stare so Wyatt bails to the floor. This time it’s a big flip dive as it’s all Balor so far. Bray finally pulls him off the apron and hammers away, followed by something like a reverse Stunner out of the corner.

Of course that means a chinlock, because even though Bray is a cult leader, he still follows WWE wrestling tropes. Balor is right back up with a Pele kick and a baseball slide to the floor. The double stomp from the apron to Bray’s back keeps him in trouble, causing Graves to drop a (failed) external occipital protuberance reference. I knew I liked him for a reason.

Bray kicks him in the face and hits the release Rock Bottom for two. The running backsplash gets the same but Finn kicks him to the floor for the shotgun dropkick against the barricade. Back in and Bray scores with a kick so it’s spider walk time. Balor pops to his feet, hits a Sling Blade, another shotgun dropkick, and the Coup de Grace for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: D. This was as exciting as Bray hitting some basic offense while Balor did all of his usual stuff. The problem again is in the Demon, which was what Balor would bring out for his biggest, most violent fights. When it’s just the standard wrestling match and even a pretty dominant Finn performance, the whole Demon character is pretty much a waste.

Ad for the Mae Young Classic. In other words, the modern NXT women’s division.

We recap Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose vs. the Bar, which is built around the idea of Dean and Seth not being able to trust each other. They kept offering the Shield fist until they FINALLY got back together, mainly due to having to deal with the Bar. Now they’re united after a very well done series of segments that them saving each other but not being willing to trust each other. They got in a fight though and the Bar coming out to join in was FINALLY enough to get them to agree to fight together. This was actually a heck of a build and I got sucked into it, both live and again during the recap video.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and it’s Sheamus getting taken down so the challengers can drop some elbows. Rollins Downward Spirals Cesaro into Dean’s boot and the champs are cleared out early on. A quick distraction lets Sheamus Brogue Kick Dean so Seth tries a suicide dive onto both guys. That gets him slammed down hard as momentum changes in a hurry.

We settle down to Cesaro gutwrench suplexing Seth and the chinlock goes on. Rollins fights back and hits a Blockbuster but Ambrose is still down off what is apparently the most devastating Brogue Kick of all time. Sheamus keeps Rollins in the corner as Cesaro runs into the crowd and destroys a beach ball, because Cesaro is more awesome than you. An enziguri gets Rollins out of trouble but this time it’s Cesaro cutting him off. Seth sends him outside though and Cesaro comes up holding his knee.

Rollins goes out after him with Sheamus following, meaning it’s Dean diving onto everyone at once. Back in and Rollins rolls underneath Cesaro and makes the hot tag to bring in Ambrose. Everything breaks down and Seth springboards in with a clothesline to Sheamus. There’s the double suicide dive and the fans are eating up all these double team spots. We settle down again with Ambrose powering out of the Neutralizer and hitting the rebound lariat, only to have Sheamus cut off the tag.

Ambrose catches him on top with a superplex into a very fast frog splash from Rollins but Cesaro makes the save. Rollins and Ambrose are tired of this tagging stuff and unload on Sheamus in the corner but he’s right back with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Cesaro swings Dean for all of two rotations and the Sharpshooter goes on, with Dean looking more surprised than in pain. With Dean getting close to the rope, Cesaro rolls over into a Crossface to change focal points.

Instead of going for the submission, Cesaro loads up a powerbomb with Sheamus adding a top rope clothesline for another close two. Rollins finally comes in and gets knocked outside just as fast. Dean tells the champs to bring it so they load up a spike White Noise. Hang on though as Rollins is right in there with a hurricanrana to send Cesaro into Dean and Sheamus for the save. The wind up knee into Dirty Deeds finishes Sheamus for the titles at 18:38.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but there was no other way to go with the finish. Rollins and Ambrose are a great team and the fans love them so let them have a long match and take the titles for a change. There was some chemistry here and that made for a good, long match that the show desperately needed.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens. They’ve traded the US Title for a few months now and Owens is claiming a conspiracy thanks to the referee missing his shoulder being up in the most recent title match. Therefore, Shane McMahon is guest referee tonight, despite having a history with AJ and a history of being a crooked referee.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

AJ is defending with Shane as guest referee. They get in a fight before the bell with Shane pulling them apart twice in a row, because Shane is going to be the focal point here. The bell rings and they fight out to the floor with AJ hitting a knee from the apron. Back in and AJ keeps him down, followed by a knee drop. One heck of a clothesline takes AJ’s head off and the Cannonball gets two.

The backsplash gets the same and the near fall off the Edge-O-Matic has Owens yelling at Shane. AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant and the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker gives him two of his own. They’re both banged up and the delay allows Owens to “accidentally” shove Shane into the ropes to crotch AJ on top. He’s fine enough for a springboard 450, which hits Shane after Owens pulls him in. For reasons of storyline convenience, AJ is down after splashing Shane, allowing Owens to hit the Pop Up Powerbomb for two, thanks to a delayed count.

That means ANOTHER argument with Shane, allowing AJ to grab the Calf Crusher but Owens pokes him in the eye. Owens sends AJ into Shane to knock him to the floor, meaning there’s no referee to see Owens tap to another Calf Crusher. Now it’s AJ’s turn to yell at Shane, who shoves AJ into a rollup for a pretty fast two. The annoyed AJ puts him on top, only to get caught in the swinging superplex for the big crash.

Owens wins a slugout but gets reversed into a Styles Clash for a clean two. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets three, though with AJ’s foot on the ropes at one. Shane: “TWO!” That means another argument with Shane, who shoves Owens into a rollup for two, meaning they’re not repeating spots from earlier in the match. The Phenomenal Forearm into the Styles Clash retains AJ’s title at 17:23.

Rating: B-. Well of course most of the match was about Shane, because that’s what a Summerslam title match should be about. The wrestling was fine but you kept waiting on Shane to do something else. I’m not sure how this was the best they could do with Styles, but at least there’s an Owens vs. Shane story set up for the next eight months. That’s more important than the US Title and Summerslam right?

Video on some fans winning a sweepstakes and got to go to the show.

We recap Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal and I can feel the headache coming. Mahal won the WWE Championship in a period of Vince McMahon insanity and has held it since May. Nakamura has hit Kinshasa on a bunch of people, including Cena to become #1 contender. In other words: help us Shinsuke Nakamura. You’re our only hope.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Nakamura is challenging and a live violinist plays him to the ring. The fans singing the song is awesome as usual, especially when you consider it doesn’t have words. Jinder grabs a wristlock to start so Nakamura spins around into a headlock, much to the crowd’s delight. Nakamura puts him up against the ropes for the arm shaking and the required COME ON. Mahal bails to the floor so it’s a triple COME ON, including the Singh Brothers. The fans chant for 3MB because the comedy version of Mahal is better than the main event version.

With nothing else going on, let’s go to the Japanese commentary team. I don’t speak Japanese so it’s all Greek to me. Back in and Nakamura drops a knee and hits some Good Vibrations as Mahal has nothing. As in all together, not just so far. The Singh Brothers offer a distraction though and Mahal knocks him off the apron to take over for the first time. Some knee drops set up a chinlock, followed by Mahal doing the COME ON pose but shouting his own name.

After that brilliant display of saying his name, it’s back to the chinlock. Nakamura fights up with a kick to the face and some YES Kicks to set up the running knee to the ribs. With the covers not working, Nakamura grabs a triangle choke but Mahal gets his foot in the ropes. Nakamura’s running knee in the corner hits buckle and Mahal adds a jumping knee to the face for two of his own. Mahal goes shoulder first into the post but the Singh Brothers’ distraction lets Mahal hit a chinlock slam (he has ONE MOVE and can’t even do that right) to retain at 11:25.

Rating: D-. You know, it’s been about nine months since Mahal lost the title and e-freaking-gads I had forgotten how awful his title reign really was. This felt like a bad house show main event and it’s the biggest Smackdown match on the second biggest show of the year. You can feel the fans dying out there when Mahal is….well doing anything actually, but in this case I’ll go with being on offense and winning. I remember watching Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura beat the living tar out of each other for twenty minutes at Takeover: Dallas. Now though, a weak/botched/terrible cobra clutch slam puts him down? Not a chance.

We recap the Universal Title match with Brock Lesnar defending against Braun Strowman, Roman Reigns and Samoa Joe. Lesnar was announced as facing all three challengers and since he wasn’t happy, he’s threatened to leave WWE if he loses. The three challengers all say they can be the man to take out Lesnar. There’s just not much else to be said here but this is by far and away the main event.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe

Lesnar is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Cole picks Reigns to win because Reigns beat Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Cole: “How can you bet against that?” You pick the guy who did it first, you nitwit. Reigns is of course booed out of the building because….oh you know the drill by now.

The brawl is on to start (well duh) with Strowman throwing Reigns to the floor and Brock hitting a belly to belly on Joe. Strowman gets posted and it’s time for the Reigns vs. Lesnar showdown that no one but WWE seems to love. Booker tries to say that Lesnar knew nothing but winning in UFC, which I’ll leave you to make fun of. Some suplexes put Reigns on the floor and it’s Strowman time.

Now THIS gets the fans’ attention but Reigns and Joe are right back in to break up the fun. That lasts all of five seconds before it’s back to Strowman vs. Lesnar, meaning another YES chant. Strowman LAUNCHES Brock into the corner and hits a heck of a clothesline to put the champ on the floor. As usual, Lesnar’s selling is very underrated. Everyone is on the floor now and Joe chokes Lesnar but sidesteps a Reigns spear, sending Lesnar through the barricade. That spot will always look cool.

Strowman is back up and loads up the title (with Graves hoping he uses Saxton as a weapon), setting up a running powerslam to drive a kicking Lesnar through it. The fans REALLY like that but here’s Reigns to kick Strowman in the face and kill their buzz all over again. Joe is back up with a suicide elbow to take Reigns out, meaning the fans are won right back. Thankfully Cole is doing a great job of explaining how cool it is to see people this big doing this stuff.

That’s exactly what he should be doing and it’s working here. Strowman throws an announcers’ chair at Joe and Reigns in a cool spot, followed by a second powerslam through a table to put Lesnar down again. Heyman has a look on his face that says “well, I didn’t see that one coming”. Fans: “ONE MORE TABLE!” Greedy twits. To mix things up a bit, Strowman picks that one up and turns it on top of the already out Lesnar. Half a dozen people come out to get the table off of Lesnar and a stretcher is brought out as Heyman seems to be near tears.

We’re not done yet though as Strowman hits Joe and Reigns in the head with the steps. With the steps in the ring, Reigns fires off the corner clotheslines and hits a good steps shot into Strowman’s shoulder. Joe’s rollup gets two on Reigns but he’s right back up with a Samoan drop for two. The Superman Punch is countered into the Koquina Clutch but Strowman (with some blood next to his ear) is back in with a double chokeslam. Everyone is down so here comes Lesnar again.

Strowman is the only one on his feet so it’s time for the big showdown. A running clothesline takes Strowman to the floor and there’s a German suplex each to Joe and Reigns. Strowman comes back in and elbow his way out of a German suplex, only to get caught in the Kimura. That’s broken up with a Superman Punch, with Joe and Lesnar taking one each as well. Reigns spears Lesnar for two so here’s Strowman for a dropkick to Reigns, just because he can do that too.

The powerslam gets two on Joe with Lesnar pulling the referee out at the last second. A Superman Punch gets two on Strowman, whose kickout puts Reigns on his feet. There’s a powerslam to Reigns with Lesnar making the save but getting loaded up into the F5. That’s broken up by a Reigns spear, drawing Joe back in for a Clutch on Lesnar. Brock reverses into the F5 but Reigns is right in there with some Superman Punches. Three in a row put Lesnar down but the spear is countered into the F5 to retain Brock’s title at 20:53.

Rating: A-. What a fight and that’s all it needed to be. They were making Godzilla/King Kong references here and they nailed the idea to near perfection. The best thing here was Strowman looking awesome and like the man that could beat Lesnar if he had the chance, with the bonus of Reigns taking the fall again. It’s not like Reigns losing was going to hurt him (it hasn’t yet) so going this was was the right call. This was all about violence and that was the story: big, strong people beating each other up for twenty minutes and all of the chaos that it caused. Well done, all around.

Lesnar can barely stand to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show suffered from the same problem as the modern Wrestlemania. It’s not the length that is the problem (the show never really did drag) but rather that almost nothing has a chance to sink in. Everything jumped from one match to the other and most of the matches didn’t have a ton of time.

It was “well that happened so let’s move on” time after time and that doesn’t make for a special show. The show isn’t terrible but aside from the main event, nothing on here felt important and that’s not what Summerslam needs to be. In other words: cut some stuff out and let it breathe, which might as well be the standard operating criticism around here.

Ratings Comparison

Miz/Miztourage vs. Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan

Original: C-
Redo: C

Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

Original: C

Redo: C+

New Day vs. Usos

Original: B+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Original: D

Redo: D+

Naomi vs. Natalya

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Original: D

Redo: F+

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B-

Redo: C

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Original: C+

Redo: D

Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. The Bar

Original: B

Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C-

Time has NOT been kind to this show and aside from two (or maybe three) matches, it’s not worth seeing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/08/20/summerslam-2017-the-star-of-stars/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,974
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

A year has passed since I saw this show and I can barely remember much about it. That’s very telling when you look at how stacked this show really is. There are multiple top level matches here and it really wasn’t clear what was going to close the show until the night of the event. Hopefully that means that this SIX HOUR show holds up. Let’s get to it.

So here’s a quick plug. I’m going through the pre-show and there’s a three expert panel of Booker T., Jerry Lawler and Lita. Earlier this year, I met all three of them at WrestleCon. If you’re ever at a Wrestlemania weekend, treat yourself to an amazing time and GO TO WRESTLECON. I met over 120 wrestlers in about four hours. Where else are you going to get to do something like that? Anyway, on with the show.

Pre-Show: American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Who would have thought that Breezango would be the most entertaining out of all these teams? This is pretty much the still titleless Smackdown tag division at this point as they had to bring in the Headbangers and throw together Heath Slater and Rhyno to be able to have a tournament. This is also a rematch from Smackdown, which shows how little effort they were putting into the tag division at this point.

Gable and Breeze start things and the fans are WAY into Gable. Chad twists around as only he can to escape a wristlock and it’s off to Jey, who is quickly driven into the corner. English comes in and says that he’s what a man is. That earns him a right hand to the jaw and it’s off to Mojo to work on a wristlock. Ryder comes in to quite the reaction as Mauro says the Hype Bros have more chemistry than the Periodic Table.

Everything breaks down (What took them so long?) and Ascension clears the ring, only to have American Alpha come off the top (the same corner) with double clotheslines (that’s pure Steiner Brothers). English posts Ryder though and we take a break. Back with Gotch putting Ryder in a chinlock, followed by Viktor doing the same. The other heels take turns stomping on Ryder until Breeze grabs his own chinlock. Fandango adds a slingshot legdrop as this is going WAY longer than it needs to.

JBL thinks cold beer uniting the APA is more effective than furry selfie sticks uniting Breezango but maybe he’s wrong. Ascension knocks the good guys off the apron but Viktor misses a charge in the corner, allowing Ryder to get in a neckbreaker on Konnor. The hot tag (with a limited reaction) brings in Jimmy to clean house.

Jordan gets the real hot tag and does his fired up sequence (which he really is awesome at) with a belly to belly getting two on Breeze. We hit the parade of secondary finishers as the referee is imploring them to tag. Mojo powerbombs Breeze and Viktor out of the corner and the Usos add stereo superkicks to set up stereo dives. Back in and Grand Amplitude plants Gotch, only to have Jey tag himself in for a Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:31. Gable is really not cool with that. Eh just wait until your team is split up for a pretty lame story where Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a few minutes from this, it’s a heck of an opener. There are too many people in the match of course but they kept it moving fast enough (for the most part) to really get something fun out of it. Jordan’s house cleaning spot is a heck of a way to fire the crowd up and it made the match more fun than it should have been. Tweak this a bit (eight/ten man tag or shorten the match a bit) and it’s even better.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Sami works on D-Von’s arm to start and it’s off to Neville for more of the same. Both of them get in more shots as we hear about the rivalry over the NXT Title. I do appreciate the history, especially when Graves should know about that match very well. Bubba is sent outside but D-Von breaks up a springboard dive, allowing Bubba to nail Neville from behind to take over. The fans want tables but a back elbow to Neville’s jaw cuts them off in a hurry.

Back from a break with Bubba hitting his neckbreaker out of the corner. Things slow down even more as Bubba is talking even more than he usually does in a match. Bubba: “COME ON ENGLISH BOY! O-LAY! O-LAY!” The middle rope backsplash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. D-Von takes the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but the reverse 3D gets the same. Neville escapes the regular version though and we get some heel miscommunication. The Helluva Kick sets up the Red Arrow to put Bubba away at 7:55.

Rating: C-. That would be it for the Dudleys in WWE as they would have one more segment tomorrow night where Anderson and Gallows sent them packing. It’s also pretty much it for Sami and Neville as a team, which is quite odd as you would think they would be a fine choice for a team. The match was nothing you wouldn’t expect on Raw.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

You know, because two matches just weren’t enough for the pre-show. This is the first match of the Best of Seven Series, which really wasn’t too well received. After Cole says Cesaro is facing Cesaro and both Cole and Saxton say this is about establishing physical dominance, we’re ready to go. Sheamus misses a very early Brogue Kick but the spinning springboard uppercut is blocked as well.

Cesaro charges into an uppercut but comes back with a dropkick for one. The ten forearms to the chest are broken up so Sheamus clotheslines him onto the apron instead. It’s off to an armbar on Cesaro’s chronically taped up shoulder but Cesaro lifts him up into that kind of reverse Angle Slam of his. They’re certainly hitting each other hard here, which is pretty much the draw of the whole feud.

Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl slam and it’s off to a break. Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock because that rule even applies on pre-shows that will never end. The Irish Curse gives Sheamus two as Cole runs down the pay per view card, which only makes me think that there are FAR too many titles in WWE. They fight over a suplex and fall out to the floor in a heap. Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the running uppercuts in the corner, capped off by a dropkick to knock him off the ropes.

The apron superplex (which wasn’t from the apron) gets two but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for two. There’s the super Regal Roll for two more and frustration is really setting in. Another Brogue Kick attempt is countered by one heck of a clothesline though and Cesaro adds a high crossbody for two of his own. Cesaro tries the Sharpshooter but Sheamus gets to the ropes. Back up and a poke to the eye sets up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 14:11.

Rating: B. They beat the heck out of each other and it was a fun match but it also brings up the problem: I’m not going to want to watch them fight six more times. No matter how good things are, having them happen so many times in a row over several weeks is going to get tiresome. It happens in all these series and it’s happening here too.

And now, after more wrestling than you get on an average Smackdown, here’s the actual pay per view.

The opening video looks at New York City, with the narrator telling you how AMAZING the city is. I’m not sure if New York City or Texas is worse about bragging about their home’s greatness. As usual, this switches over to a series of quick looks at the biggest matches on the card.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Well duh. That’s about as easy of a choice for an opener as you could ever find for this show. As you might expect, the crowd eats up the opening promo with a spoon and of course we hear a ton of New York City music references. Included are Frank Sinatra, Biggie Smalls and Jay-Z, plus more that probably go over my head. Cass adds in a few songs of his own as this is the only way this show could have opened. Since Graves is the best heel commentator in wrestling today though, he points out that Enzo is from New Jersey.

Jericho and Owens jump Enzo at the bell and the STUPID IDIOT chants start rolling. Enzo comes back with a crossbody and a running right hand to the jaw for two. It’s off to Cass, who drags Owens inside for a beal. That’s some scary power. Enzo gets launched into the corner to crush Jericho but the Canadians bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cass who tosses Enzo over the top onto them in a huge crash. I’ve always loved that spot as it just looks cool.

Back in and Enzo ax handles Owens but turns into a middle rope dropkick from Jericho. The Canadian violence begins with Owens kneeing Enzo from the apron and doing his dance on the apron in a rather funny visual. Owens’ comedic skills aren’t given enough credit more often than not. It’s back to Jericho for the Arrogant Cover and a chinlock with Owens telling Jericho to do it like he taught him.

Owens comes in and adds a gutbuster for two, followed by the running start for a chinlock. It takes real talent to turn a chinlock into an art form but Owens has somehow pulled it off. Enzo finally rolls away but Jericho is there to break up the diving tag attempt. Owens drops the frog splash for two and his stunned looked on the kickout is the usual awesome visual. Enzo gets pulled off the corner to make things even worse but, after blowing a kiss to Jericho, misses the Cannonball.

That means the hot tag to Cass and everything breaks down. Jericho dives into a big boot but Owens breaks up the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka. Cass gets posted on the floor and now the Cannonball against the barricade connects. Back in and Enzo scores with his top rope DDT on Jericho with Owens making the save. A pop up Codebreaker (didn’t look great as Jericho was too far away) ends Enzo at 12:09.

Rating: C+. Odd choice for an ending aside (not surprising of course but odd), this was a good way to get the crowd going. I could have gone for another hope spot from Enzo and more of Cass cleaning house but that pop up Codebreaker could have been a heck of a finisher if done right. Nice opener, though would it have killed them to put Enzo and Cass over in Brooklyn?

Smackdown bosses Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon run into Raw General Manager Mick Foley to brag about how awesome their shows are. Former Daily Show host Jon Stewart and his son come in to ask what Foley is thinking to work with Stephanie. He rants about abuse of power but realizes she’s right behind him. Stephanie yells at him about how great it is to abuse power but thankfully New Day comes up. As the Smackdown bosses and Foley much on cereal, New Day asks Jon if he’d like to do something. He gets out as fast as he can and Stephanie isn’t amused.

We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. Sasha won the Women’s Title on the first exclusive show after the Brand Split and tonight is the rematch. The other big idea here is Charlotte never loses singles matches on pay per view and Banks has to recreate the magic one more time.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Some early WOOing sets up a slightly less early Bank Statement but Charlotte bails to the floor. Back in and Banks climbs the corner for a wristdrag before sending Charlotte face first into the middle buckle. Banks gets caught on top though and Charlotte basically drops her onto the ropes for a backbreaker which almost had to hurt horribly. The fact that Banks had a bad back coming in and Charlotte still did some rather sloppy moves like that got her in some hot water.

We hit a Gory Stretch on the champ for a bit but she comes back with a pair of running clotheslines. That just earns her another backbreaker and Charlotte stomps away at the back. The Figure Eight is broken up but Sasha misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Charlotte picks her up for a super Razor’s Edge but since that would, you know, kill Sasha, she reverses into a hurricanrana to put them both down.

Back up and a WOO earns Charlotte a string of slaps before Sasha avoids a charge in the corner and hits the double knees to the back for two. Charlotte kicks her in the leg to break up a charge but gets knocked outside again, setting up the double knees from the apron. Back in and the Backstabber doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement (thankfully too as the Natural Selection clearly didn’t send Sasha’s head anywhere near the mat).

Charlotte makes the rope for the break and takes out the knee again. Natural Selection gives Charlotte two so she yells about being better than Sasha. Another Bank Statement goes on but Charlotte reverses into a rollup for the pin and the title at 13:52. Saxton: “Just like that?”

Rating: B. This was just a straight match and that’s the key to the whole thing. The women are getting to show that they can have a good match without the smoke and mirrors, which never would have been the case otherwise. If nothing else it got the kind of time that a title match deserves to develop the story of Banks having a bad back (which would keep her on the shelf for about a month). Strong match here and another of many to come for these two.

Doctors Anderson and Gallows (oh man I had forgotten how stupid this was) run into AJ Styles for a Club reunion. Finn Balor comes up and doesn’t think much of it. Somehow, this has still never gone anywhere.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending after winning a triple threat match. Miz comes out wearing a glittery Phantom of the Opera mask while Maryse is basically in a one piece swimsuit. In a sign of the changing times, Mauro talks about Miz’s look instead of Maryse. Miz stomps away in the corner and gets two off a running kick to the chest. Crews gets the same off a rollup, only to walk into the short DDT as it’s almost all Miz to start. We’re already in the reverse chinlock before Miz sends him into the apron to cut off a comeback. Miz takes too long coming off the top though and dives into a dropkick to put both guys down.

A crossbody into a nipup has Miz in trouble as JBL rants about Otunga calling Crews a Jackrobat (jacked acrobat). The Toss Powerbomb is countered so Crews gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. An overhead belly to belly sets up a standing moonsault, which Otunga sums up perfectly: “A man with that kind of size and that kind of muscle should not be able to do that.” Miz teases taking a walk but Maryse cuts him off, allowing Miz to post Crews. The Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Standard Smackdown match and something that could have been cut, or at least put in the Kickoff Show in the place of the Dudleys match. Crews felt like an easy obstacle to overcome because there was nowhere near enough build to set the match up. Put some more effort into the title already people, as it’s just not working.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. They set up the first match when Styles and Cena were in the ring together, only to have Anderson and Gallows interfere to turn Styles heel. Styles went on a great rant about how Cena was a fraud who couldn’t hang in the ring with someone like him. Cena went into a great speech about how he’s here out of love because it never gets old. AJ beat him at Money in the Bank with assistance from Anderson and Gallows, setting up a rematch between the two here.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This just feels big. AJ grabs a waistlock to start but is easily knocked away. The announcers go out of the way to put over how AJ has been on big shows before but nothing this big. Oh I don’t know. I remember him being at that Wrestlemania thing earlier in the year. The dueling chants begin and the AJ STYLES side is pretty clearly stronger.

Cena’s headlock is countered and AJ scores with the dropkick but the bragging earns AJ a right to the jaw. A hard whip into the corner sends AJ down for a bit with Cena doing some rare trash talking. They head to the floor and the fans start belting out JOHN CENA SUCKS, only to have AJ turn it into some gasping with a suplex onto the apron. Cena is right back with a dropkick for two and it’s time for some more right hands to the head.

AJ comes back with a forearm to the face, earning himself Cena’s finishing sequence. It’s way too early for the AA though as AJ hits a Pele, followed by the Styles Clash for a close two. The fans were actually more into the near fall than I was expecting as you would think they’d know better this early. The AA gives Cena two of his own and both guys are down again.

Styles slips out of the super AA and grabs the torture rack for the spinout powerbomb. They’re trading bombs at this point and it’s the only way they should be going here. Something like a Big Ending gives Cena two but he can’t get the STF. Instead it’s the AA neckbreaker for two on Cena (not the same as the AA JBL) but the springboard 450 only hits mat.

A faceplant puts Cena down again though and AJ can’t follow up. He manages the springboard forearm but Cena reverses into the worst STF I’ve ever seen. Thankfully AJ slips out and grabs a Crossface, which Cena powers out of as well. That’s reversed into the Calf Crusher which AJ is smart enough to twist away from the ropes. Cena reverses that into another horrible STF (AJ’s face is on the mat) so AJ is quickly up with the enziguri. A tornado DDT plants AJ and there’s the top rope Fameasser for two.

Cena heads up again and gets taken down with a super hurricanrana (Mauro: “MAMA MIA!”), followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for a VERY near fall (drawing Mauro to his feet). It’s Cena’s turn now as he takes AJ up for the super AA and….it’s two. NOW the fans know it’s on as I don’t think anyone has ever kicked out of that before. Cena is stunned and the AA is countered into another Clash. The Phenomenal Forearm puts Cena away clean at 23:10.

Rating: A. I know it’s not going to sound good but a lot of this goes to Cena. At the end of the day, the crowd completely lost it when AJ kicked out of that super AA. AJ wins here not because he got a pin but because he beat Cena clean. That’s a very, VERY short list and that’s what makes it feel so important. Think back to how big of a deal it was when Warrior pinned Hogan clean. That felt like an era changing win, and while this isn’t quite that big, it’s the same idea.

Oh yeah and it’s an outstanding match and possibly the Match of the Year. This was the heavyweight slugfest formula as they beat the heck out of each other with both guys hitting everything they could until one of them couldn’t get up. That’s a really hard match to pull off and these two did it in an incredible match. It belonged on the grand stage and gives Cena one heck of a mountain to overcome, which he somehow did in a better match at the Royal Rumble.

Post match Cena takes off his wristband and leaves it in the ring. He would do dark matches for a few weeks and then be back wrestling on TV in less than a month so this didn’t mean anything.

Some fans won a contest and got some stuff. In other words, let the fans have a breather.

Here’s Jon Stewart for your celebrity appearance. He makes fun of himself for interfering in Cena’s match last year and says the big lesson he learned was to tuck your shirt in when you’re taking an AA. As for tonight though, he’s here to be in New Day’s corner to help deal with Anderson and Gallows. In honor of the moment, he throws on a unicorn horn and does Big E.’s (out injured due to getting crotched against the post) entrance.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending of course and unfortunately Anderson and Gallows are still doing their stupid doctor nonsense, complete with jars for Kofi, Xavier and Jon’s testicles. I hear Paige can help you with one of those. Anderson headlocks Kofi down to start but he’s right back up with the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Kofi flips onto his feet and gets two off the standing double stomp. You can tell the fans are still recovering from the previous match and it’s off to Woods.

That goes badly as the he gets taken into the corner for a beating from Gallows. At least it does bring the fans back a bit with the rhythmic clapping. Gallows gets taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede (which they’ve kind of stopped doing in recent months) and the fans are really not responding. Woods sends him outside so Kofi can hit a running dive (while posing in the air) to take him down again. Back in and Gallows kicks Kofi in the head to take over for real this time with Anderson working on the arm.

That goes nowhere as the hot tag brings in Woods to clean house. Anderson sends him to the apron for an enziguri, setting up the rope walk elbow drop. Everything breaks down and Anderson kicks Kofi in the chest, setting up the Magic Killer. Stewart gets in though and it’s time to crotch him as well. Hang on though as he has to tuck in his shirt first. Cue the returning Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:09.

Rating: D. I don’t know if it was the previous match or what but sweet goodness the fans did NOT care for this one. It’s not a good match in the first place as Anderson and Gallows aren’t funny in the doctor roles, but the bigger problem here was the focus being on Stewart at the end. Oh and the ending sets up a rematch, which really isn’t what they need to be going with here. Bad match but Big E.’s return did wake up the crowd.

Big E. drinks the fluid in the jar holding his “testicles”. Stewart dances with New Day and the fans…well they care when Big E. dances at least.

We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph won a six way match to earn the shot and then it all went nuts. Ziggler started talking about how he was tired of being told that he always either too good or not good enough. It was time to turn up the jets and become champion for the third time. Serious Ziggler was nice but I don’t think anyone was buying him as having a real chance here. You know, because he’s Dolph Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and Shane and Daniel are here for no apparent reason. The fans are behind Ziggler and they trade some grappling on the mat with Ziggler getting the better of it (not exactly a surprise). The threat of a neckbreaker sends Ambrose bailing to the floor so Dolph splashes him against the barricade.

Back in and Ziggler’s jumping DDT is countered with Dean throwing him outside again. Ziggler escapes a super Dirty Deeds so Dean slaps on a half crab of all things. You can tell Dean is playing the subtle heel here as the smark crowd is always going to cheer for Ziggler. Dean heads up top and gets dropkicked out of the air but he’s right back with a double chickenwing facebuster.

Ambrose tunes up the band (which is now mocking Ziggler instead of anything involving Shawn Michaels) but shakes his head and tries Dirty Deeds instead. That’s reversed into the jumping DDT and both guys are down again. A double collision gives us another lay down period until Dean is up first and hammering away.

The top rope elbow gets two so Ziggler grabs the sleeper, earning them both a tumble out to the floor. Ziggler gets in the superkick on the floor but it’s barely two back inside. The Zig Zag gets the same but Dean pops back up with the rebound lariat. Ziggler catches Dean on top and pulls him back down, right into Dirty Deeds to retain the title at 15:22.

Rating: D+. And that people, is Ziggler choking again. This would lead to him saying he’s never won the big one, which would turn into him never holding the World Title that long because holding the title is more important than winning it. The match was nothing all that good as we were just waiting on Dirty Deeds, which only happened so Dean could keep it warm for AJ next month. That was completely obvious the second AJ pinned Cena again and that’s all this title needed to do.

Package on Summerslam weekend.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Eva Marie vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Dang I didn’t know the Glow was a year old. Actually hang on a minute as Eva Marie is suffering from exhaustion, anxiety and stress (likely brought on by reading too many Wellness Violation messages, which meant she would never wrestle again) so we have a replacement. At least we got that amazing entrance one more time.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

So yeah, you know full well that Nikki is going to be all that matters in this match because IT’S HER BIG COMEBACK THAT EVERYONE TOTALLY CARES ABOUT BECAUSE WE LOVE HER SO MUCH! She does get one heck of a pop though, which is rather scary. During her entrance, Mauro declares her return “miraculous”. Oh man this is going to be a long one.

Bliss rolls Becky up to start and gets in a hard slap for good measure. Naomi comes in to scare Alexa off so it’s Natalya instead. A forearm puts Natalya down and the splits legdrop gets two. Carmella comes in for the Staten Island Shuffle before a missed charge sends Natalya outside. Back in and a powerslam out of the corner plants Carmella before it’s off to Nikki, the heel, for a strong face pop.

We hit the chinlock but hang on as we need some Nikki pushups. Alexa chokeshoves Carmella down for the moonsault knees to the ribs as the crowd is dead all over again. The abdominal stretch keeps things slow until Carmella finally rolls over and makes the hot tag to Becky. All three heels are send into the corner for the springboard kicks from Lynch, followed by a Bexploder on Natalya.

Becky’s top rope legdrop gets two with Nikki making the save. A blind tag brings in Naomi for the dancing kicks with the fans just not reacting at all. Bliss’ springboard splash hits knees so it’s off to Nikki vs. Carmella. A bad looking Bronco Buster gets two on Nikki and everything breaks down. Nikki’s big forearm sets up the Rack Attack 2.0 (Nikki: “I’m back.”) for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: D. This was all about Nikki’s return and that’s not enough to carry a dull match. Naomi’s Glow stuff wasn’t over yet, Becky was stuck around people who weren’t up to her level and Carmella was showing that she didn’t need to be on the main roster yet. The same was true for Alexa and Natalya was her usual self. Just not a good match and it showed the lack of depth to the division.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. Rusev and Lana were married and so Reigns interrupted for no apparent reason to insult them and shove them into a cake.

Maria Menunos interviews Rusev and Lana, who don’t like her questions about Reigns. They won’t stand for this and Lana is sure that her husband will destroy Reigns.

We recap the Universal Title match. Basically we need a new title due to the Brand Split and Universal Title was the best they could come up with. Seth Rollins was put into the match as Raw’s #1 draft pick and Finn Balor earned his way in by winning a series of matches. Not much else to it as there’s no major animosity between them but it’s better than pulling the title out of a suitcase.

Seth did get in a great promo talking about how he’s done everything Balor has done but he’s done it a little bit better. He’s not wrong, though that’s not the best thing to do when you have someone so new to the main roster. Then Balor showed up as the Demon and scared Rollins to death.

Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Anything goes and the title (which isn’t that well received due to a bad case of being hideous) is vacant coming in. Unless I’m forgetting something, to date this is the only time Balor has wrestled as the Demon on the main roster. We get the Big Match Intros and the title itself receives some hearty boos. Balor dropkicks him into the corner at the bell but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace.

Instead Balor hits a suicide dive to the floor, followed by some kicks to the knee back inside. They head outside again with Seth getting in his first offense via a suplex on the floor. Balor is right back with something like a Phenomenal Forearm off the barricade. Back in again and Balor hits a basement dropkick for two as this is almost one sided so far. Finn stays on the leg as the fans are singing something.

Balor jumps over the ropes but Rollins slides between his legs and powerbombs him into the barricade, completely destroying Balor’s shoulder and putting him on the shelf for the better part of eight months. We’re less than four minutes in though and you can see the shoulder looking all messed up. Back in and Seth gets two off a backbreaker, setting up a chinlock. The chants are still going and it sounds like THAT TITLE SUCKS to the tune of John Cena Sucks.

Seth starts the trash talk and cuts off a comeback attempt. A snapmare into a kick to the back has Finn in even more trouble but Seth would rather walk around than follow up. It’s back to the chinlock for a good while until the springboard knee to the head sets up Seth’s frog splash for two. What looks like a Rainmaker is countered into a DDT to give Balor his first major offense in a long time and he follows up with some forearms.

A basement dropkick sets up the Sling Blade but Seth kicks him down without much effort. An enziguri stuns Balor but he’s right back with the Pele, earning a very nice round of applause. If nothing else the chants about the title have stopped. 1916 (reverse implant DDT) gives Finn two but the Coup de Grace is countered into a triangle choke of all things. Finn falls outside because rope breaks don’t count (anything goes remember) and things slow down a bit.

Back in and the buckle bomb sets up the low superkick for two on Balor with Seth looking stunned on the kickout. A small package driver gets the same count and reaction so Seth goes up, allowing Balor to hit a very loud enziguri to put him on the floor. Balor adds a shotgun dropkick to send him into the barricade, followed by a top rope double stomp to the back of the head for two. The Coup de Grace misses and it’s a Pedigree for two. Finn counters a second Pedigree into a double stomp, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 19:23.

Rating: B+. When you factor in that shoulder injury, this is quite the impressive performance. Above all else though, how good is it that Balor won the title here? If he loses his first major pay per view match and then goes away until April, he’s lucky to come back to the cruiserweight division.

This was a heck of a match with both guys beating the heck out of each other. It took some time to get built up but once they finally got there, the fans really started to accept things, which is a very positive sign. Balor is someone who is going to get a very positive reaction no matter what and giving him the title here was entirely the right call.

Balor can barely move his right arm after the match but finally holds the title up. On his WWE 24 special, he said you could feel and hear the shoulder crunching and crackling as he lifted the title and it probably did more damage to the arm.

The pre-show channel chats a bit and throws us to a KFC ad with Dolph Ziggler dressing up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz dressed as a chicken. It’s actually dumber than you remember it being.

Here’s Lana to introduce Rusev, albeit while wearing half of a wedding dress, the bottom of which looks like a diaper. She’s one of the most beautiful women on the roster but she looks ridiculous here.

US Title: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

Roman is challenging and the booing is strong with this one. Rusev jumps him before the bell and they fight out to the floor with Roman being sent into the steps. The fans chant RUSEV MACHKA because they’ve given up on America over their hatred for Reigns. Roman gets in a Superman Punch as the bell hasn’t rung yet. They fight over a chair with Reigns getting the better of it and destroying Rusev. Reigns finally leaves but comes back with a spear, all while the fans chant WE WANT SLATER. No match of course, likely due to time issues.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar. This match was announced as Orton’s return match from surgery and the build focused on Orton being able to hit the RKO anytime, including a sweet moment where Orton interrupted a Lesnar promo with an RKO. The hype video even includes some OVW clips as they came up through developmental together and debuted within a few months of each other. This had a heck of a build and felt like something important but the question was whether Lesnar would have an actual match or just do his usual Lesnar stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introduction, saying he’s conquering out of the University of Suplex City. Brock seems to get into his MMA stance to start before driving Orton into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Orton escapes the first German suplex attempt but can’t hit the RKO.

Now the first suplex connects (with Mauro knowing that it’s the 33^rd Lesnar has hit at Summerslam because he’s awesome that way) and Brock follows with two more. Orton is almost out on his feet so Lesnar suplexes him again. It’s nothing but suplexes at this point and it’s already getting dull. They head outside for a much needed change of pace with Orton being thrown over the announcers’ table.

Orton gets thrown from the front row through the table as this is dominance. The other table is loaded up but whatever Lesnar is trying is countered into the RKO onto (not through) the table. The hanging DDT plants Lesnar back inside and another RKO gets two. Orton realizes he has no choice and tries the Punt, only to have it reversed into the F5 (bad one) for two more.

That’s enough for Lesnar so he takes off the gloves and pads and hammers on Orton. An elbow to the head actually busts Orton open VERY badly. Lesnar just keeps hammering on him while the fans chant GOLDBERG until the referee FINALLY stops it at 11:47. I’ve heard a bunch of answers about what happened but I believe this was the planned ending and a hard way opening.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work when it happened and it didn’t work again this time around. Lesnar suplexing Orton for five minutes then selling a few big moves doesn’t make me think it’s an awesome main event. This was everything wrong with Lesnar’s current WWE run in one match and that made for a really dull match, save for the odd finish that seemed designed to protect Orton. You know, after he was basically squashed.

Lesnar keeps hammering on him until the always intimidating Shane McMahon comes out, earning himself an F5 (which thankfully didn’t lead anywhere). Heyman panics as they leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you cut an hour (or more) out of this, it’s bordering on the classic level. As it is, this is just a good show that runs WAY too long. At some point you have to cut something out and WWE just refuses to do that. Cut out the Dudleys match or the women’s tag and give us some breathing room here because sweet goodness this show could use it.

Now that being said, there’s some outstanding stuff on here with the Styles vs. Cena match as an instant classic, the Women’s Title being very good, a great Universal Title match and really only the Tag Team Title match being without much value. The show is certainly good and the positives outweigh the negatives but unless the show is a masterpiece, fans are going to start losing interest near the end. It’s a solid show but cut out a good forty minutes to really make it great.

Ratings Comparison

American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Original: C

2017 Redo: B-

Dudley Boyz vs. Neville/Sami Zayn

Original: C

2017 Redo: C-

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

2017 Redo: B

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Original: C+

2017 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Original: B

2017 Redo: B

Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Original: C

2017 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A

2017 Redo: A

New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

2017 Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Original: C

2017 Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

2017 Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2017 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

2017 Redo: B-

That’s quite the drop on Ambrose vs. Ziggler and Lesnar vs. Orton. Some of them are spot on though and that’s not the biggest surprise.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/08/21/summerslam-2016-they-didnt/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

It’s very rare that a Summerslam is the biggest show of the year but that might be the case in 2002. Wrestlemania XVIII was in a much bigger venue and had a much bigger top match but as far as a whole card goes from top to bottom, this might have it beaten. The big matches here are Brock Lesnar challenging the Rock for the Undisputed Title and HHH vs. Shawn Michaels in a grudge match with Shawn making his first in-ring appearance since 1998. Let’s get to it.

Not much of an opening video other than the theme song over shots of the crowd.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey showed Angle up recently and Kurt wants to prove that it’s just a fluke. Angle’s singlet looks like a barber pole and Rey sneaks in from behind with a springboard ankle scissors. The ankle lock goes on in less than thirty seconds but Rey sends him into the ropes with Kurt having to duck the 619.

A hard wheelbarrow suplex sends Rey hard onto the mat and one heck of a clothesline gives Angle two. Rey’s back is bent around the middle rope and Angle is getting a bit too cocky. A one legged Liontamer has Mysterio in even more trouble but a rollup gives him a fast two. Rey is certainly sticking around well enough so far.

That just ticks Angle off though and he throws Rey with a belly to belly. Kurt misses a charge though and goes sailing over the top but the referee won’t let Mysterio fly. That’s fine with Rey who flips OVER THE REFEREE to take Kurt down. The fans are losing their mind and Rey Dropping the Dime (springboard legdrop) for two makes them even worse. Now the 619 connects and the West Coast Pop is good for a VERY near fall. Rey puts him on top for a super hurricanrana but Angle slips out and grabs the ankle lock for the submission at 9:20.

Rating: A-. What a match. This is one of the best opening matches in company history as they just do not stop for the better part of ten minutes. It’s an outstanding performance with Rey getting his big breakout performance and Angle showing that he’s still one of the best in the world.

Stephanie McMahon brags about that match and tells a production guy to tell Eric Bischoff about it. She goes into her office and….there’s Eric, who seems to be sharing the office with her. I’m sure comedy and drama will ensue.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho

Standard “you’re old and it’s my time so get out” feud with the required broken guitars to ruin a mid-show concert segment as well. This is actually Flair’s in-ring debut at Summerslam. Feeling out process to start and we hear about Jericho becoming the first ever Undisputed Champion. JR: “Not too many people can claim that.” Yeah Jim. I think it’s like, one or so.

Jericho misses an elbow drop and the chops start flying. They head outside with Jericho sending him into the barricade, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Some suplexes stay on Flair’s back so you certainly can’t fault Jericho’s psychology. This time it’s Jericho taking too much time going up though and Flair slams him right back down.

The Walls are countered into a small package for two but Jericho goes extra evil by grabbing the Figure Four (I said evil, not original). In a creative save, Flair grabs the rope and then taps out, which means the hold is broken and the submission doesn’t count. The referee gets bumped and it’s a low blow into the Figure Four to make Jericho tap at 10:23.

Rating: C+. This was fine and while I’m not wild on having Flair go over Jericho, at least he lost in a good match to a dirty finish. If nothing else it could mean a whiny Jericho and that’s nothing but entertainment. Oh and Flair low blows are always worth checking out, just for how hard he hits those things.

Ad for a Hogan DVD.

Paul Heyman loves the idea of the Hogan DVD because it looks like they’re trying to squeeze out the final few dollars from his body after Lesnar destroyed him. Tonight, Lesnar destroys the Rock.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Apparently Eddie is mad that Edge fancies himself a sex symbol. I don’t really remember that being brought up on TV leading up to this match but maybe it was subtext. Eddie snaps the back of Edge’s neck across the top rope and takes over, only to get thrown across the ring.

Edge ties him up in the ropes and hits a spear but a second attempt misses to send the Canadian outside. That might mean a bad shoulder so Eddie sends him into the steps. Back to back DDT’s on the arm including one from the top get two on Edge and we hit a Kimura of all things.

It’s off to a crossface chickenwing and then a top wristlock which is a very good idea. I get so bored watching matches where we get the same hold over and over. There are so many holds that can be used on the same body part so mixing it up like this helps so much. Edge fights back with a one armed slam and a faceplant to send Eddie outside.

It doesn’t take two good arms to dive out to the floor so Edge takes Eddie out all over again. Back in and a super sitout gordbuster gives Edge two more, followed by the Edgecution for the same. Eddie goes right back to the shoulder but walks into the spear (more on that in a second) at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This was going to be much higher until that completely ridiculous ending. Eddie spent eleven minutes working on the arm and then Edge just uses the shoulder for the spear to end the match with nothing more than a flinch? There’s no excuse for that and Edge should know better.

The Un-Americans are ready to give the greedy Americans more. More of the Un-Americans that is.

Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Booker T. vs. Un-Americans

Lance Storm and Christian are defending. Goldust cleans house to start before it’s off to Booker, who JR describes as being “as Americana as Americana can be.” The Canadians are still reeling so Storm throws Goldust over the corner to take over, setting up some of those weird hopping stomps.

Christian gets two on a backbreaker, which JR says works on the back. Something like a Boss Man Slam gets Goldust out of trouble but Christian grabs a front facelock. As you might expect, that means a missed tag so Goldust has to catapult the champions into each other.

That’s STILL not enough for the tag though as the champs knock Booker off the apron, only to miss a Conchairto. The USA chant starts up and there’s the hot tag to Booker who scores with a missile dropkick on Christian. Storm hits the referee by mistake and both champions take the same ax kick. Cue Test to kick Booker’s head off, giving Christian the pin at 9:35.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending brought it down a good bit with the standard WWE style finish hurting things a lot. At least we had a good match to get there and the Un-Americans are still fine for heel champions. The Test stuff gets annoying but you had to know it was coming as soon as the ref went down.

There’s a Make Out with Nidia Contest at the World. We’re moving on before that sinks in.

Stephanie and Bischoff debate women’s place in wrestling. McMahon: “It’s like mine: ON TOP!” This turns into a discussion of the Intercontinental Title match and GOOD GRIEF Stephanie’s acting is somehow worse here.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

This is Raw vs. Smackdown and Benoit is defending. A kick to the leg sends Benoit outside but he comes back in and easily takes Van Dam down until Rob starts spinning around to escape. The release German suplex drops him again though and Benoit starts in on the neck to set up for the Crossface later on.

A Dynamite Kid snap suplex gets two on Van Dam but he avoids the Swan Dive. Chris does the same to the Five Star though and it’s time for the Crossface. The long legs get Van Dam over to the ropes so Benoit shoves him off the top and down onto the barricade for a crash. Benoit cranks on the arms for a bit and slams him head first into the mat to keep Van Dam in trouble.

It’s right back to the Crossface with Van Dam quickly breaking free, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Some suplexes onto the arm make me realize that Eddie probably should have worked something other than the arm if Benoit, whose finisher is an arm hold, was going to do this.

Another Crossface is about to be broken so Benoit switches into a dragon sleeper of all things. That’s escaped as well and Van Dam’s hair is down in a very rare sight. Rolling Thunder gets two on Benoit but he’s able to crotch Rob on top. You don’t try a belly to back superplex on a high flier though as Rob crossbodies his way out, setting up the Five Star for the pin and the title at 16:22.

Rating: B. Sometimes you just need to have two talented guys go out there and have a match. The shoulder didn’t quite play into the finish but at least Van Dam’s finisher isn’t done with his arm. I liked this more than I was expecting to and that’s always a positive, especially on a show this stacked.

Bischoff gloats so Stephanie laughs at him. WELL OF COURSE SHE DOES! How dare we suggest that Stephanie not have some kind of ace up her sleeve? That’s why people get tired of Stephanie: she almost NEVER has to give up anything and it gets old in a hurry. I’m sure she’s stolen some other talent and Bischoff will be crushed while Stephanie gets to dance around and talk about how great Smackdown and its fans really are.

Video on the Un-Americans to set up Test vs. Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Test

JR says Undertaker has a big home field advantage. I get what he’s going for but we’re MUCH closer to Canada and Toronto in general than we are to Houston. But then again, never underestimate how hard an American announcer is going to push his countryman in a feud like this. Undertaker starts with a hiptoss of all things but a knee to the ribs cuts off some driving shoulders.

Test shoves the referee into the ropes to break up Old School and since this isn’t Raw, that’s not a DQ. After a quick trip to the floor, Test very slowly hammers away in the corner and drops a knee on the ribs. It’s off to an armbar of all things until Undertaker fights up and suplexes his way to freedom. AMERICAN freedom that is.

The pumphandle slam doesn’t work so Undertaker plants him with a chokeslam for a delayed two. Cue Storm and Christian for a distraction so Test can get in the big boot for two of his own. Test grabs a chair and shoves the referee down, allowing Undertaker to kick the chair straight back into his face. The Tombstone ends Test at 8:20.

Rating: D. This was fine for a long Raw match but on a show with this much talent around, it’s only going to go so far. Undertaker winning is fine enough as it’s really hard to buy Test beating someone who was in the main event of last month’s pay per view going toe to toe to toe with Rock and Kurt Angle.

Undertaker goes into the crowd and grabs an American flag for some posing.

We get a long and very good recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They used to be friends and Shawn came back as part of the NWO. After the team was disbanded, Shawn came back again and was made into HHH’s manager. That wasn’t cool with Shawn and his Texas pride so HHH beat him up twice in a row, including putting Shawn through a car window. Shawn is willing to have one more fight (not match, but fight) here tonight.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Anything goes and unsanctioned with Shawn in jeans. Shawn hammers away to start and spears HHH down for more right hands. They’re quickly on the floor with Shawn ramming him head first into the post. It’s time for some toys, including a trashcan to HHH’s head and a top rope right hand for the same.

Sweet Chin Music misses less than three minutes in and Shawn walks into a spinebuster for the first real shot to his bad back. Like a smart villain, HHH starts in on the back but Shawn says bring it, earning himself a kick to the chest. One heck of a chair shot to the back has Shawn’s face in agony, which is where so much of this match’s strength comes from. Michaels could tell such a story with his face and it really does bring you deeper into the story they’re trying to tell.

Shawn gets in a desperation rollup for two but walks into the facebuster to cut him off again. A DDT on the chair gets two and we’ve got some blood. HHH steals Shawn’s belt for a good old fashioned whipping followed by a few buckle shots to the cut head. With Shawn pulling himself to his feet, it’s sledgehammer time. As is his custom though, Shawn cuts HHH off at the exactly right time, earning himself an abdominal stretch.

HHH goes for the hammer again but Earl Hebner calls him off and yells a lot. A superplex is broken up so HHH blasts him in the back with the chair again. There’s a side slam through an open chair and Shawn looks dead. You can feel the fans getting more and more into this and JR wants the referee to do a fast count. Shawn kicks out and now HHH is getting frustrated because Michaels won’t stay down.

Another side slam onto a closed chair gets the same and HHH covers three times in a row. The Pedigree is broken up by a low blow and you can feel the crowd coming back to life. HHH grabs the chair but a desperation superkick knocks it into HHH’s face to draw blood as well. Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup and the fans actually come to their feet as it’s the old Shawn one more time. A great chair shot to the head drops HHH and Shawn picks up the belt to even things up a bit from earlier.

Shawn bulldogs the very bloody HHH onto the steps to knock him even sillier. Since that’s not enough, let’s bring in a ladder too. Said ladder is thrown inside but HHH baseball slides it into Shawn’s ribs for a breather. HHH goes up top for some reason and it’s a superplex to bring him back down for two. Now the steps are brought in but Shawn drop toeholds HHH into them before knocking him outside again.

With nothing else left, here’s a table too with Shawn splashing HHH off the top through the wood. HHH very slowly rolls back in and Shawn brings the ladder inside again. The big elbow off the ladder crushes HHH and Shawn pops right back up. It’s superkick time but HHH counters into the Pedigree which is countered into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 27:19.

Rating: A+. My goodness what a performance. That’s the only way to put it as Shawn basically started all over again and had this kind of an amazing match. This was some outstanding storytelling with Michaels taking us to the very brink but fighting back until there was an actual way to believe he could pull it off. HHH was at his most dastardly here and that makes for one heck of a match. This is one of the best matches of both of their careers and the circumstances make it even more amazing. Shawn timed that comeback as well as anything I’ve ever seen and I got swept up in the match all over again. Just excellent.

Post match, HHH hits a celebrating Shawn in the back with a sledgehammer to go biggest heel ever. Shawn does a stretcher job, seemingly putting him out of action for a long time. Oh and one more thing: for some reason HHH has tried to claim that this match was forty five minutes long. Even if you count the entrances and the post match stuff, it’s less than thirty six minutes total. That’s a big stretch even in wrestling, which is covering a lot of ground.

Here’s Howard Finkel of all people to talk about how he hasn’t been here since Wrestlemania II but you’ll always have him because of loyalty. Cue Trish Stratus (who has been feuding with a sexist Finkel) but the Fink doesn’t want to hear from someone who thinks she’s hot stuff because of her looks. Trish hits on him and Finkel makes sex jokes until Lillian Garcia (who is having the real issues with him) to slap Howard in the face and kick him low. This was just a way to calm things down after the previous match but it was still stupid.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock. Lesnar won the King of the Ring tournament to earn this show and Rock won the title at Vengeance. Brock has run through the company but this is by far his biggest test to date.

Undisputed Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock

Lesnar is challenging and has Paul Heyman in his corner. The fans are ALL OVER Rock as he charges right into a belly to belly, further banging up his already injured ribs. Some backbreakers have the fans cheering for Rock though and Brock takes him outside for a beating in the crowd.

Back in and another belly to belly sends Rock flying for two. Heyman even gets in a little choking as Rock’s right hands are cut off by a powerslam. Brock charges into the post and three straight clotheslines finally put him down for two. It’s off to a bad Sharpshooter with Rock nowhere near sitting on Brock’s back.

Heyman finally gets on the apron for a distraction but Lesnar saves his agent from a Rock Bottom. The distraction lets a chair go into Rock’s ribs, setting up a bearhug into a waistlock on the mat. This stays on WAY too long but to be fair, Lesnar isn’t really capable of having a long match on his own just yet.

Rock punches his way out but takes one heck of a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner. Lesnar gets punched (you might notice a pattern emerging here) outside again and it’s announcers’ table time. Instead though Brock gets catapulted into the table and Heyman takes a very slow motion Rock Bottom through the table.

Back in and the Rock Bottom only gets two but Lesnar grabs one of his own (JR: “Brock Bottom?”) for another near fall. The spinebuster looks to set up the People’s Elbow but Brock jumps up for a BIG clothesline. Brock can’t hit the F5 but reverses the Rock Bottom into the F5 for the pin and the title at 16:02.

Rating: B. It’s not a classic but the key thing here is that Brock reversed Rock’s finisher into his own for the completely clean pin. Heyman hadn’t been a factor for about five minutes so the pinfall is WAY more important. Lesnar won because he was better here (ignoring the rib injuries but that was hardly cheating). This was a good match but it’s important and well done which is all that matters.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best pay per views the company has ever put on and pretty easily the best Summerslam ever. The worst match of the night was Undertaker vs. Test and even that was watchable. Throw in a masterpiece like HHH vs. Michaels and this is an instant classic, which isn’t often the case at Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A-

2017 Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/07/summerslam-count-up-2002-the-performance-of-a-lifetime/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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