Smackdown Date: February 27, 2003 Location: Labatt Centre, London, Ontario, Canada Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re officially on the road to Wrestlemania and that means it’s time to turn things up a lot. Thankfully the main event of Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar for the title is already set, but unfortunately there’s that whole broken neck thing that Angle has going on (again). Edge is having similar issues as well and hopefully that’s the end of the injury bug issues. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Vince to open us up and he’s got some good and bad news for us. First the bad news: Rock won’t be here tonight because he’s permanently on Raw. As for the good, Hulk Hogan won’t be here either due to a “family emergency”. Something about his son. Anyway, Hogan has written his own burial by challenging Vince to a match because he has no idea what he’s in for. Vince walks us through Sunday’s match and promises to show us what happened on Sunday later tonight. He declares that MCMAHONAMANIA is running wild (like that’s a new thing) and struts out as only he can.
Funaki/Torrie Wilson vs. Jamie Noble/Nidia
Thankfully the men start as we hear more speculation about one of the women being in Playboy. Jamie gets sent into the corner but comes out with a neckbreaker. It’s off to Nidia for some stomping before it’s right back to Noble. Funaki gets fired up and pulls Nidia back in before sending them into each other.
A double clothesline drops both of them though as Tazz calls Nidia feisty. Nidia misses a top rope splash and it’s off to Torrie for what is totally not a canned pop. She slaps Noble and gets shoved down for her efforts, earning Noble a baseball slide from Funaki. Cue Dawn Marie for a failed distraction, allowing Torrie to grab a rollup for the pin.
Rating: D. Standard horrible women’s action here but at least Funaki and Jamie were in there for the most part. Torrie is getting the push for the sake of Playboy and while I get that, is there any better way than having her wrestle? At least they kept it short, which is rarely a good thing to hear.
Post match Stephanie comes out to say that SHE has negotiated the Playboy deal with Torrie getting the spot. Torrie is VERY happy about this and looks like she just won the Women’s Title. So in other words, she’s thankful that Stephanie is allowing her to be in the magazine and it’s pretty much nothing that Torrie has accomplished.
During the break, Torrie thanked Stephanie again and plugs Girls Gone Wild. Brian Kendrick came up and introduced himself to Stephanie (Stephanie: “Naked boy.”) with an idea: he’ll wrestle Kurt Angle tonight. Stephanie agrees, saying if he can last five minutes he gets a job.
Nunzio vs. Eddie Guerrero
The team is officially the FBI with Tazz saying he’s heard the name before. Eddie runs him over with a shoulder to start and somewhat botches a backflip over Nunzio’s back. Nunzio leverages him into the corner and stomps away with Chuck Palumbo adding a trip from the floor. A knee to the head gets two but Eddie gets in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a breather. Eddie’s belly to belly gets two but he has to roll through the frog splash. Instead it’s a small package with Eddie allegedly grabbing the trunks (it looked like he was just touching them) for the pin.
Rating: C-. Nunzio is way too talented for something as stupid as this version of the FBI. Speaking of which, why is Eddie stuck in this match instead of fighting for a title of some kind? Ah yes, because WE CAN’T HAVE A MIDCARD TITLE FOR HIM TO FIGHT FOR because whatever Raw does, Smackdown has to do too and we wouldn’t want HHH to have any contenders to his throne.
The FBI comes in for the beatdown but Rikishi (of course) comes out for the save.
Cole again hypes the world premiere of the screwing of Hulk Hogan. That might cost them a $120 million lawsuit.
Paul Heyman comes in to see Stephanie, who has a stipulation for tonight’s main event. If Lesnar can defeat Team Angle tonight, he gets any member of the team next week in a cage match. Heyman: “I don’t like that.” Paul knows he’ll pick Kurt and that’s not fair five weeks out of Wrestlemania. Heyman leaves and Stephanie gives a pretty weird looking smile.
We look at Edge being laid out at No Way Out. He’ll be gone for about a year.
Benoit tells Lesnar to take out Team Angle in revenge for what happened to Edge. Lesnar says he’ll win but thinks Benoit should be worried. Don’t worry because Benoit has his own friends. That friend is in his dressing room. Brock: “What’s up?”
Wrestlemania ad, which I believe marks the debut of Crack Addict on WWE TV. I always wondered why they never said the name of the song on the shows.
Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore vs. Chris Benoit/???
Shannon and Matt, whose pants are a size 34 in the waist and who thinks sweet potatoes are delicious, have to deal with the returning Rhyno as Benoit’s partner. Rhyno mauls Shannon to start and hands it off to Benoit for a hard clothesline and a suplex. Matt comes in and doesn’t get beaten up as badly, instead taking Benoit down and dropping a leg for two.
As always (including how it would be in his modern run), the fans are WAY into Rhyno as Benoit fights out of a chinlock. Poetry in Motion doesn’t work and the hot tag brings in Rhyno to clean house. The spinebuster gets two on Matt and a suplex rocks Moore. Rhyno Gores Matt for the pin.
Rating: D+. And that’s a good example of why this company gets so many head shakes. Was there ANY reason to not have Shannon eat the pin here instead of the new Cruiserweight Champion? If nothing else Shannon was probably going to take a better bump when Rhyno Gored him, but instead we got Matt taking the pin. Of course we did.
Clip of Nathan Jones’ interview last week. He’s really intense.
Here’s Undertaker for a chat. He didn’t care for A-Train attacking him on Sunday and says it’s time for some consequences. This brings out A-Train, complete with new agent Paul Heyman. Paul calls the triangle choke that Undertaker used illegal and brings out Big Show for the two on one beatdown. Nathan Jones makes the save and I think we have a tag match coming up.
The injured John Cena is on his laptop and promises to make Brock Lesnar’s hard drive crash because he’s a virus. Everyone knows he’s the next big thing and Brock is the great white hype. “Your finish is the F5. Well mine’s the FU.” And so it begins.
We see the Kendrick and Stephanie segment for no other reason than to show Stephanie (and her low cut top) again.
Kurt Angle vs. Brian Kendrick
Non-title with Kendrick having to tell Tony Chimmel his stats. If Kendrick lasts five minutes, he gets a job. Angle gets down in an amateur position and lets Brian take his best shot. The look on Angle’s face (nearing boredom) says it all as he rides Brian on the mat. Now he gets on his knees and puts his hands behind his back so Kendrick kicks him in the jaw. Some forearms have Angle in trouble but it’s a belly to belly to cut that off in a hurry.
We’re under three minutes to go and a right hand knocks Brian over the top and out to the floor. Back in and the ankle lock is slapped on but released just as quickly. Two minutes left and Kurt picks him up for the Angle Slam, only to drop him back down. An elbow to the face annoys Angle even more but a facebuster gives Kendrick a pretty hot near fall. Angle misses a charge into the post with a minute left but the yet to be named Sliced Bread #2 is broken up. One heck of a clothesline drops Kendrick but he fires off forearms with fifteen seconds left. The Angle Slam gives Kurt the pin with two seconds left on the clock.
Rating: C+. They tried here and it was working very well for what they wanted to do. Angle finishing via pin was the right idea too as having Brian tap would have defeated a lot of the purpose of this. Kendrick has heart but he looks like he’s about fifteen years old and there’s not much of a way around that.
Post match Angle says Team Angle had nothing to do with Edge’s attack. As for Brian, he has guts, though he’s not going to make it in this business. Angle tells the fans to give him a hand and then beats him down again, including an F5 with a shout out to Brock.
Here’s Sylvan Grenier to be obnoxious and introduce clips from No Way Out. By that I mean the last six and a half minutes of the pay per view with nothing new added. It’s the Hulk Up and comeback with the ref bump, Vince’s interference, Rock winning and Vince mocking Hogan.
We get an exclusive clip from after the show, which is just Hogan yelling at Stephanie about wanting to beat Vince up.
Next week: Hogan is here and Undertaker vs. Big Show.
Heyman gives Team Angle a pep talk as only he can.
Brock Lesnar vs. Team Angle
Handicap match and if Brock wins, he gets a cage match with any member of Team Angle next week. Haas starts for the team and gets launched into the corner. Brock does it a second time and drives some shoulders into his ribs. Shelton comes in and takes an overhead belly to belly as this is one sided so far.
Some double teaming finally slows Brock down and sends him to the floor, allowing Heyman to stomp away a bit. Angle offers some cheating as well and it’s Haas having to make a fast save. Lesnar gets posted for good measure as the numbers game is really starting to take effect. A belly to back suplex gives Charlie two and it’s off to a rear naked choke.
That’s fine with Brock who climbs to the middle rope and drops backwards for the break. Shelton comes in for the superkick into the German suplex and a near fall but Brock has had it. Team Angle is thrown all over the ring with Charlie being knocked to the floor. The F5 ends Benjamin without too much effort.
Rating: C-. Is there really nothing else they can do besides having the Tag Team Champions lose in handicap matches? Those are two big matches in a row where they’ve lost when they have an advantage and it’s not doing the once incredibly valuable titles very much good. The match wasn’t anything to see either as there wasn’t much of a secret about Lesnar winning.
Post match Lesnar goes after Heyman but Angle saves him from the F5. Lesnar grabs the mic and says that he wants Heyman in the cage next week. Angle’s grin of relief and Heyman’s life flashing before his eyes end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. They were flying through stuff tonight and there wasn’t much to get excited about. The show wasn’t bad but they’re really lacking that must see aspect. The fact that the No Way Out footage was longer than almost all of the matches on the show didn’t do it a lot of good either. Not a terrible show but nothing I’m going to remember in a few hours.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Summerslam 1994 Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
Things have changed a lot in the last year. First and foremost, we’re living in Bret Hart’s WWF now as he regained the world title at Wrestlemania over Yokozuna, more or less vanquishing him once and for all. On that same show though, Bret’s brother Owen pinned him clean in the masterpiece of an opening match. Owen has chased the title all summer and tonight is his opportunity at it inside a steel cage. The other main event is the Undertaker vs. the Undertaker in a match that I want to put off talking about for as long as I can. Let’s get to it.
We open with highlights of the WWF softball team (that exists?) playing in a charity game against the Chicago media. Shawn of course plays without a shirt on. The video goes on for like five minutes with Monsoon doing commentary through every inning. Randy Savage, a former professional baseball player, hit a three run home run. The WWF won 9-7.
On to the actual wrestling tonight with Macho Man as Master of Ceremonies again. As Savage is posing in the ring, Lawler tells us that Diesel (currently Intercontinental Champion) and Shawn won the tag titles from the Headshrinkers last night in Indianapolis.
Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/I.R.S.
Bigelow and IRS are part of DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. This was originally going to be for the belts but the Samoans lost the titles last night. The production values have been upgraded by this show as we now have logos for every team/wrestler in the aisle as they come to the ring. The Headshrinkers have Afa and Lou Albano with them which I believe was Albano’s last managing job in the company.
Bigelow runs over Fatu to start but misses a charge and walks into a superkick for two. A slam doesn’t work on Bigelow so he comes back with an enziguri. That shouldn’t work on Fatu and thankfully he rolls away from the diving headbutt. Off to Samu for a double superkick but the Samoan misses a charge, allowing for the tag off to IRS. Now it’s the tax man’s turn to miss a charge in the corner and fall outside where Samu sends him into the steps. Back in and Fatu stays on IRS until Bigelow pulls the top rope down to send Fatu out to the floor.
The Million Dollar Team takes over on Fatu but a double clothesline puts he and Bigelow down. A double tag brings in Samu to face IRS as things break down a bit. A middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS and Bigelow is clotheslined out to the floor. IRS takes a double Stroke and Fatu adds the top rope splash but DiBiase has the referee. Bigelow goes after Albano which draws in Afa for the DQ.
Rating: D+. A DQ? In the opening match? 1994 was an odd year for this company. The match wasn’t bad but the lack of the titles being on the line brought the level of interest way down. Without that it was a Superstars main event which is ok, but the Headshrinkers were never in any real trouble at all and it wasn’t much to see.
Everyone brawls up the aisle.
We now get to the white elephant of the show: Leslie Nielsen and his partner from the Naked Gun movies is here to solve the mystery of the Undertaker. See, Undertaker had disappeared after the Royal Rumble but had vowed to return. DiBiase had a fake Undertaker doing his bidding but the real one was supposed to return tonight.
WWF’s brilliant idea? Bring in some detectives from crime spoof movies to solve the case. Nielsen comes complete with inner monologues about what he’s doing and completely out of place jokes (Nielsen: “I’m on the case.” Partner: “We’re both on the case.” The camera pans down to show them both standing on a briefcase.). Don’t get me wrong: Leslie Nielsen is hilarious, but this isn’t what I want to see at the second biggest show of the year.
Razor Ramon is ready to get his Intercontinental Title back tonight from Diesel. He’ll have Chicago football legend Walter Payton in his corner tonight.
Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze
Nakano, the challenger, is a Japanese monster and has Luna Vachon in her corner. A quick clothesline and a hair drag put Blayze down as Nakano looks strong early. We hit a chinlock less than two minutes in but Blayze gets her feet on the ropes. A spin kick puts Nakano down for a few seconds but she comes back with a choke to take over again. Off to a modified Boston Crab as Nakano is destroying the champion so far.
Blayze FINALLY makes the rope but Nakano pounds her right back down like she’s not even there. Bull starts a Sharpshooter but after turning Blayze over (Nakano doesn’t step over) she reaches down and pulls her up by the arms in a PAINFUL looking hold. Blayze finally gets an arm free to grab a rope but almost immediately Nakano has a modified cross armbreaker on the champion. Alundra FINALLY comes back with a hair takedown but Bull is easily out at two. Bull easily counters a powerbomb attempt and drops a knee for two, only to miss her guillotine legdrop finisher. Blayze hooks a quick German suplex to retain.
Rating: C. This was an interesting match but it was hard to get into at times. Nakano was a monster who destroyed Blayze for about eight minutes and then Alundra got a quick suplex for the pin in fifteen seconds. Bull would win the title in a few months in Japan in a near masterpiece.
Shawn and Diesel brag about winning the tag titles but say Diesel will have no problem with Razor Ramon tonight. This is right around the time where the Kliq had taken over backstage and were basically running the company, hence them dominating the title scene.
Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon
Shawn and Walter Payton are in the respective corners and Diesel is defending. The toothpick toss actually staggers Diesel and Ramon fires off right hands to start. A discus punch finally puts Diesel on the floor for a meeting with Shawn, likely over how they can get the WWF Title. Back in and Diesel uses the big man forearms to work on Razor’s back before taking him down with a big boot. There’s the corner leg choke but Razor comes back with more right hands.
The extra big man puts the big man in a sleeper but Razor comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Diesel comes right back by launching Razor out to the floor, allowing Shawn to untie a buckle pad. Payton finally goes after Shawn but the distraction lets Shawn clothesline Razor down. Back in again and the champion hits his elbows and knee lifts in the corner but the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle. The referee looks at Shawn like an idiot, allowing Diesel to whip Ramon into the buckle for two.
Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle puts Ramon down again and an elbow to the back gets two. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back and a comeback attempt is countered by a boot to the face. Diesel hooks an abdominal stretch but eventually gets caught holding the top rope. Razor puts on an abdominal stretch of his own, only to be hiptossed down onto his bad back. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered into a rollup for two and Razor starts coming back with right hands.
The middle rope bulldog gets two on Diesel as the fans are getting louder and louder. The Jackknife is countered but Diesel suplexes him down before Razor can follow up. Shawn tries to bring in the belt but gets caught in a tug of war with Payton. The referee yells at Payton so Shawn tries a superkick but of course hits the champion. Payton pulls Shawn out and Ramon pins the out cold Diesel for the title.
Rating: C+. As political as the Kliq was, they could usually put on some solid matches. Razor was just big enough to make you believe he could go toe to toe with Diesel while still being small enough to look like an underdog. Payton was there as a celebrity and didn’t add a thing to the match at all. That superkick would set up years of stories, as Shawn and Diesel would start to disintegrate, which led to WM XI, which led to Shawn’s face turn, which led to everything up until Austin in a way.
Diesel rants about Shawn screwing up and blames him for the loss.
Shawn says he’ll get Diesel another shot and vows revenge on Payton. Don’t worry: Diesel would be world champion in three months.
Tatanka and Lex Luger are in the back where they hear the results of a WWF Hotline poll. 54% think Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase but he still denies it. Tatanka is convinced because of the times DiBiase has been watching Luger and the few times DiBiase has helped Luger win a match. Earlier today DiBiase went into Luger’s dressing room with a bag and that’s enough proof for Tatanka. Luger swears he didn’t sell out.
Lex Luger vs. Tatanka
The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.
Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.
Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel
Jeff Jarrett is a country singer from Tennessee and Mabel is a 500lb+ monster in purple and gold. Mabel lumbers around like an oaf while Jarrett struts. Jarrett’s wristlock is easily thrown off so Mabel struts a bit. A clothesline puts Jeff on the floor as we’re somehow two minutes into the match. Jeff trips Mabel from the floor to take him down and drops a middle rope elbow for no cover. Some middle rope ax handles stagger Jarrett a bit but a third is caught in a bearhug.
A sleeper finally gets Mabel down but he drops Jeff into the corner to escape. The big man actually hits a spinwheel kick for two as Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz, a baseball themed guy, is in the crowd with a sign saying he’s on strike. See, Major League Baseball was on strike at this point, and if we reference something that’s going on in the world, it’s funny, right? Mabel misses a middle rope splash but blocks a sunset flip attempt. He tries to drop onto Jeff’s chest but misses completely, allowing Jarrett to score the fluke pin.
Rating: D-. This was very dull as Jarrett had nothing to work with at all. Mabel was just so huge that it was almost impossible for anyone to do anything against him. Unfortunately for us Mabel would be pushed down our throats the next year, somehow main eventing the 1995 edition of the show. The match sucked.
The detectives are in the aisle, Undertaker pops up behind them, neither sees him, more PPV time is wasted.
We get a LONG recap of Bret vs. Owen. Owen had felt he was living in Bret’s shadow and turned on his entire family at the 1993 Survivor Series when he was the only member eliminated due to a mistake by Bret. Bret offered to team up with Owen to win the tag titles which appeased Owen for awhile, but at the Royal Rumble Bret wouldn’t tag out and the referee stopped the match due to his knee injury.
Owen snapped and kicked out Bret’s good leg, turning full heel in the process. He demanded a match with Bret at Wrestlemania and defeated him clean in the opening match. Bret won the title in the main event, so Owen wanted a shot at the title throughout the summer. Tonight is Owen’s big chance in a cage match.
Bret says his recent battle with strep throat won’t affect him tonight.
WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart
It’s escape only to win. Owen jumps him as soon as Bret is inside the cage, raining down right hands in the corner. Bret comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline as their parents are watching in the front row. Owen pulls Bret down as he tries to climb out before going for a climb of his own. Bret pulls him back down and goes for the door, only to be pulled back in as well. We’re still very early in the match at this point.
Bret keeps lunging for the door but Owen keeps pulling him back in. They swap the roles for the next turn but Owen still can’t escape. With the door closed Bret tries to climb out, only to be slammed off the cage wall. Owen climbs up and manages to get all the way out but he can’t get down on the floor before Bret makes a save. Owen is pulled back in and they fight on the top rope with Bret being knocked back into the ring. Instead of climbing out again though, Owen dropkicks Bret down and climbs again.
The champion makes another save before climbing up to the top of the cage, straddling the top of it. Owen pulls him back in and they continue slugging it out on the top rope. Bret rams him into the cage wall but loses his balance in the process, putting both guys back down. Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith, both brothers in law of the two in the ring, are watching in the crowd.
Bret punches Owen down again and drops an elbow but Owen makes another save. This time as Bret comes down though, he slams his knee into the mat to put him in real trouble. Neidhart, who has since turned on Bret and sided with Owen, is very pleased. Even though Bret is down, he isn’t down enough to stop Owen from leaving. He gets slammed down off the cage but Owen grabs a climbing Bret’s leg, pulling him back inside.
Owen is up first but Bret makes about his 49th save of the match. Bret rams him face first into the steel and goes up again but Owen reaches through the bars to bring him back in. Back in again and Owen plants the champion with a piledriver but Bret still makes a save. Owen throws Bret down off the cage but Owen falls as well. Bret crawls for the door and gets the upper half of his body out, only to be pulled back in again by his younger brother. The drama on these near escapes is getting higher and higher.
Back in and Bret slingshots his brother into the cage, rattling his brains even more. They both slowly get up and Owen is rammed face first into the cage. The problem is that as Bret rams him in, Bret rams his knee into the cage and injures it. The champion tries to get out but can’t climb that fast, allowing Owen to make ANOTHER save. Owen makes another attempt to get out but his exhaustion slows him down and lets Bret stop him.
They slug it out on the top rope with both guys being rammed face first into the cage. Bret knocks Owen down but gets pulled back down as well. A double clothesline puts both guys down one more time and it’s Owen going up first. He climbs to the corner though, allowing Bret to catch up with him and superplex Owen off the top of the cage. Bret crawls for the door but Owen makes the save and puts on the Sharpshooter.
There aren’t any submissions in the match but it can make it impossible for Bret to climb. However Bret, the master of the Sharpshooter, counters into one of his own and Owen is in trouble. Bret goes for the escape but he STILL can’t keep Owen down long enough. They ram each other into the cage and both fall down before Owen climbs again. Both guys climb to the outside and it’s a race to the bottom. Owen is rammed into the cage though and gets his legs caught in the cage bars, allowing Bret to drop down and retain the title.
Rating: A+. This match was all about drama and they certainly gave us that. The match ran over half an hour and had nothing but near escapes the entire time. Bret didn’t so much win this match as he did survive it. This match has been called the last great cage match and it’s really hard to argue with that. Excellent match with great drama throughout.
Post match Neidhart jumps Davey Boy, throws Bret back in and locks himself in with them. A huge beatdown of Bret ensues as the Hart Brothers try to get in the cage. Davey Boy FINALLY gets in and the other brothers follow to save Bret.
In the back Owen says Neidhart is his real family. A series of great tag matches followed.
We recap the Undertaker disappearing at the Royal Rumble. 9 guys beat him up and locked him in a casket but his “spirit” levitated out of the casket, swearing to return. We get a bunch of people saying they had seen Undertaker in delis and coffee shops but DiBiase said he would bring Undertaker back.
Paul Bearer said that was impossible but Ted brought out the “Undertaker”. Anyone with a pair of eyes could tell it was a fake which was the point of the whole thing. Paul tried to regain the power of the Undertaker using the Urn but DiBiase’s money stopped him. The real Undertaker’s voice came over the PA, saying that he would be back.
Undertaker vs. Undertaker
We’ll call them real and fake to tell them apart. The fake one is played by ECW’s Primetime Brian Lee who wrestled in the WWF as Chainz. For the real entrance, we have druids, a casket containing the Urn and then the real guy. The entrances alone take about 10 minutes. Real is a few inches taller and blocks a right hand before pounding on Fake a bit. A big boot and uppercut send Fake to the floor, allowing Real to suplex him back in for no cover.
Fake is thrown to the floor again but Real follows him out this time. Back in and Fake hits a Stunner across the top rope to take over. This is VERY slow so far and the idea isn’t interesting at all. Real blocks Fake’s Old School but Fake sits up. The Real’s Old School connects but Fake clotheslines Real down. The crowd is SILENT for this nonsense which Vince writes off as being in shock.
Real misses a charge and falls to the floor where Fake sends him into the steps. Back in and Real wins a slugout but walks into a good chokeslam for no cover. Fake Tombstones him down but takes too long to cover, allowing for the sit up. A second Tombstone is countered into the Real one, followed by two more for the pin.
Rating: F. Well that happened. Seriously, what else do you want me to say about this? It went on for ten minutes, they were aspiring to hit a snail’s pace and the Chicago crowd, as in one of the most insane groups of fans you’ll ever see, was quieter than a cemetery watching this mess. Taker would literally spend the next year feuding with DiBiase and company.
Taker gets his Urn back and we cut to the back with the detectives finding a closed briefcase. “The case is closed.” Seriously, that’s how they end this.
Overall Rating: D+. BIZARRE main event choice aside, this wasn’t the worst show of all time. Bret vs. Owen is a masterpiece which eats up ¼ of the show and there’s some other decent stuff sprinkled in on top of the card. The rest of the show is pretty terrible though and there’s nothing other than the world title match worth going out of your way to see.
Ratings Comparison
IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano
Original: D+
Redo: C
Razor Ramon vs. Diesel
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Lex Luger vs. Tatanka
Original: C-
Redo: D
Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel
Original: D-
Redo: D-
Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart
Original: A
Redo: A+
Undertaker vs. Undertaker
Original: B
Redo: F
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D+
…..a B? I’d like to know what I was on back then so I can go get more of it.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Lucha Underground – July 26, 2017: The Old Lucha Way
Lucha Underground Date: July 26, 2017 Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
I believe the second round of the Cueto Cup wraps up tonight but the bigger deal is Rey Mysterio getting back into the ring for the first time in a good while. Worldwide Underground has a new pesky agent who has gotten PJ Black a match with Mysterio. That could be a lot of fun and when you couple it with the tournament stuff, this show has potential. Let’s get to it.
Standard opening, looking at the tournament as a whole and the matches for those competing tonight.
Striker mentions that the tournament final is in four weeks, which will also see Mysterio vs. Johnny Mundo for the Lucha Underground Title.
Cueto Cup Second Round: Texano vs. The Mack
They actually speed things up to start instead of going with the power brawl, including a series of near falls into a standoff. That’s quite the surprise. It even warrants a handshake before Mack grabs a headlock for a negligible advantage. Mack sends him outside for a running flip dive, followed by a running basement Blockbuster for two inside.
Some very loud chops have Texano in even more trouble but he comes back with some softer chops. They head outside again with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker dropping Texano, only to have Mack go down as well. Back in and Mack gets two off a swinging slam but here’s Famous B to spray him with a water gun. That earns B. a Stunner but the distraction allows Texano to grab a Batista Bomb to advance at 7:19.
Rating: C+. Good power brawl here though the ending felt like a cop out rather than a win for Texano. It’s not like either of them are going to win the tournament but the ending didn’t work for me. The match was fun while it lasted though and that’s a good thing, but Famous B. isn’t doing anything for me and hasn’t in a long time.
Son of Havoc is at a bar when Son of Madness comes out and takes his drink. They were in the same biker gang and Madness is here to bring Havoc back whether he likes it or not. At least it’s a story.
Mascarita Sagrada brings the Rabbit Tribe a present, with the card saying it will bring them good luck. It’s a rabbit’s foot, meaning panic ensues.
Cueto Cup Second Round: Pentagon Dark vs. Drago
They hit the mat to start, which is a lot more technical than you would expect from someone as violent as Pentagon. Drago sends him outside for a big flip dive, earning himself some rather loud cheering. Back inside and they trade some hard running kicks in the corner with Pentagon getting the better of it because he’s rather good at the whole beating people up thing.
Pentagon suplexes him into the corner for two but Drago grabs a hurricanrana for the same. A running Blockbuster gets the same, only to have Pentagon catch him in a half nelson driver for another near fall. Drago runs up the corner for a tornado DDT followed by a top rope hurricanrana but the top rope splash only gets two. Pentagon is tired of playing around though and hits a Mexican Destroyer…..for two. Well of course that doesn’t finish it. The package piledriver finishes Drago a few seconds later at 7:57. Then just have the Destroyer finish the thing.
Rating: C+. Ending aside, this was a nice back and forth spot trading showcase with each of them hitting most of their big stuff. Pentagon is coming off like a bigger star every single week and they would be crazy to not put him back into the title picture, likely destroying everyone in his path, very soon.
Post match Pentagon lays out Kobra Moon and goes for the arm but Aero Star makes the save. Drago lays out Aero Star and Pentagon breaks Star’s arm as a trophy.
Pentagon runs into Catrina in the back where she reminds him of his issues with Mil Muertes. Catrina promises that Mil hasn’t forgotten and will take him out of the Cup.
PJ Black vs. Rey Mysterio
They start fast with Rey grabbing a hurricanrana and a victory roll for two, sending us to a standoff with Black smiling. An ankle scissors sends Black outside but he catches a dive and drops Rey with something like a reverse Rack Attack. A top rope fist to the face gives Black two and it’s off to a double arm crank.
Back up and the 619 is broken up by a superkick but Rey misses a springboard. They slug it out until Rey flips him out to the floor for an Asai moonsault. The spinning crossbody gives Rey two but he gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp. Can we please ban that spot all over wrestling? I’ve got money. A Styles Clash gives Black two but he gets caught in a tornado DDT.
The referee gets bumped though and here’s Johnny Mundo to lay out Mysterio. Jack Evans comes in to make it a triple team but here’s El Dragon Azteca to make the save. Taya takes him out though, leaving Black to get a close two. Azteca chases the Worldwide Underground off, leaving Rey to reverse a Razor’s Edge into a hurricanrana. The 619 sets up a springboard frog splash for the pin at 11:29.
Rating: B-. Black has really showcased himself over the last two weeks and that’s quite the improvement. I’ve never been the biggest fan of the guy in the world but it’s a good sign that he’s able to do a lot more than just have a flashy finisher. Mysterio might not be what he used to be but he’s still far better than many other cruiserweights and he gives Lucha Underground credibility, which they really can use.
Mysterio says everyone here will win the title from Mundo in four weeks.
Overall Rating: C+. Not a great show this week but we’re down to the final eight in the tournament and are starting to get some real build towards the title match. As usual, the best way to make TV seem important is to give it a long form build and that’s what we’ve gotten so far. These shows have been FAR more entertaining than what we had been seeing in the months leading up to it and that’s a very important upgrade.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Summerslam Count-Up – 1993: And It All Comes Tumbling Down
Summerslam 1993 Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
A lot has changed in the last year. Bret won the WWF Title about three months after the last Summerslam but lost it at Wrestlemania to the monster Yokozuna. Yoko went on a path of destruction through the WWF over the summer, but it was WCW signee Lex Luger who stood up for the USA on the 4th of July in a body slam challenge and is challenging for the title tonight. Hogan is gone, so America’s hopes rest on Luger. Let’s get to it.
We see Luger’s Lex Express bus arriving earlier today. Luger had gone around the country in a bus to get fan support for the match against Yokozuna. Why he didn’t stay in the WWF and win matches to get a title shot is beyond me.
Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon
The match starts fast as DiBiase jumps Razor coming in. Razor comes back with a quick backdrop and a slam, sending DiBiase running to the floor. Back in and DiBiase takes it into the corner for some chops, only to be reversed on a whip and clotheslined out to the floor again. Razor pulls him back in but Ted chokes away on the top rope. I love basic heel moves like that. You never see those anymore because it’s all about attitude or whatever nonsense WWE tells you now.
Heenan makes jokes about the 1-2-3 Kid, who recently defeated Ramon and triggered his face turn. A clothesline gets two for DiBiase and it’s off to the chinlock. It’s clear that DiBiase is WAY past his prime here but his prime was so good that this is still totally watchable. Razor’s arms stay up on the third drop but DiBiase takes him back down with a swinging neckbreaker. Ted sends him to the floor and rips off a turnbuckle pad, only to be sent into it himself. The Razor’s Edge is good for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not much to see here but DiBiase was nothing more than a jobber to the stars by now anyway. This would actually be the last match in the WWF for DiBiase as he would do a quick run in Japan before retiring by the beginning of the year. The match wasn’t bad but it could have been the main event of any episode of Raw.
Todd Petingill interviews some of the Steiners’ relatives as we’re in their hometown. The sister calls Rick by his real name of Rob here.
Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies
Jim Cornette manages the challengers, who are Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard. This is part of the cross promotion with SMW. Heenan sings Cornette’s praises, which was how Cornette got over as a heel. He had debuted not long before this and Heenan immediately hugged him. Since Heenan was a heel and Cornette was a friend of his, Cornette was instantly hated. No shades of gray, no thought to it, just basic heel work. I miss stuff like that so much.
The Bodies jump the champions and send Scott out to the floor early on. A double flapjack puts Rick down and Scott is knocked back to the floor, but the Bodies spend too much time double teaming. All four are in now with the Steiners cleaning house to the delight of the crowd. I’m sure it has nothing to do with them wearing University of Michigan colors. A tilt-a-whirl slam (called a suplex by Vince) puts Del Ray down and the Steiners stand tall.
We officially start with Pritchard vs. Scott and Tom is slammed down in a BIG gorilla press. A backdrop puts Del Ray down and it’s off to Rick vs. Pritchard. Rick cleans house with Steiner Lines to send the challengers to the floor. Back in the and the Bodies finally start cheating, allowing Pritchard to hit an enziguri to send Scott to the floor, followed by a Del Ray moonsault press to wipe Scott out.
Back in and Del Ry hits a Rocky Maivia spinning DDT but doesn’t cover like the schnook that he is. Heenan has the match 1112-9 in favor of the Bodies. A powerslam gets two for Del Ray and Cornette jabs Scott in the throat with his tennis racket. Scott finally comes back with a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the hot tag to Rick.
Everyone gets Steiner Lines (Heenan: “Mrs. Steiner just gave her daughter a Steiner Line!”) but the top rope bulldog only gets two on Del Ray thanks to a save. Cornette throws in the racket but a shot to Rick’s back is only good for two. Del Ray misses a moonsault and the Frankensteiner retains the belts.
Rating: C+. This was as by the book of a tag team match as you can get but it was still good stuff. I don’t think anyone cared about the Heavenly Bodies but that’s where a good manager like Cornette can come in handy: the fans are going to boo anyone he’s out there with, including a tag team who never did anything of note in the WWF.
A new interviewer named Joe Fowler (he didn’t last long) is with Shawn and Diesel, with the former saying he’s the best IC Champion ever. Diesel says he’s there to keep the chicks off the champ. Fowler wasn’t bad actually.
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is defending. This match was literally months in the making with the WWF basically saying “this is going to be the match of the year, guaranteed.” To continue the theme of things that just aren’t the same today, Perfect is trying to become the first three time IC Champion. We also have Radio WWF with JR and Gorilla Monsoon doing commentary. Wrestling used to be broadcast on the radio back in the day, with legendary sportscaster Bob Costas doing commentary at one point.
Shawn easily takes it down to start but Perfect snapmares him down as well. Perfect takes over with an armdrag and drives some knees into the arm. Shawn comes back with a headlock out of the corner but Perfect avoids an elbow and we have a stalemate. Some LOUD chops in the corner snap Shawn’s head back and a clothesline turns him inside out for two. Back to the armbar on the champion but Shawn escapes and goes up top, only to dive into an armdrag.
Perfect puts on another armbar before catapulting Shawn out to the floor in a great crash. Perfect goes to the floor but has to stare at Diesel, giving Shawn an opening for the yet to be named Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits an ax handle of the apron to Perfect’s back before heading back inside to drop knees onto the back. A hard whip into the corner puts Perfect down again and Shawn drops down onto Perfect’s back.
Off to a backbreaker with Shawn bending Perfect’s back over Shawn’s knee. A stiff right hand gets Perfect out and a running dropkick puts Shawn down again. Perfect gets two off an atomic drop before countering a backslide into the PerfectPlex, only to have Diesel pull the leg for the save. Diesel gets punched in the face before both guys brawl on the floor. Shawn slides back in to distract the referee, allowing Diesel to post Perfect for the countout.
Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.
Perfect gets beaten down post match with Shawn claiming to be the best ever. Perfect gives chase and catches up with Shawn during an interview with Gene. The fight winds up being Perfect vs. Diesel in a match I don’t think ever happened, unless it was on some random Raw or Superstars.
1-2-3 Kid is nervous for his PPV debut.
I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid
The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.
Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.
Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.
Owen and Bruce Hart say their dad is at home recovering from knee surgery but they’re here to support Bret.
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
This is the blowoff to a MAJOR feud which started at the King of the Ring. Bret won the tournament but Jerry attacked him during the coronation, saying he was the only real king in professional wrestling. Jerry comes to the ring on crutches with a big ice pack on his knee. He claims an injury from a car wreck (going into hilarious detail about a blue haired lady causing a ten car pileup) so Bret’s new opponent is the court jester.
Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown
This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.
Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.
The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.
Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.
President Jack Tunney stops Lawler in the aisle and says get in the ring right now.
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.
Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.
Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.
It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.
Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.
Ludvig Borga is on the streets of Detroit to show us the country that Lex Luger wants to stand up for.
Bret and his brothers say Lawler deserves a broken leg.
Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga
Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.
Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.
Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker
This is a Rest in Peace match, which means No DQ and No Countout, or a street fight as we would call it. Gonzalez has been tormenting Undertaker all year and lost to him via DQ at Wrestlemania. Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and his manager Harvey Whippelman has stolen the Urn. Paul Bearer is absent for reasons that aren’t quite explained. The Giant pounds on Taker to start but Taker comes back with some clotheslines. A single elbow takes the Dead Man down and they head outside with the Giant in control.
Gonzalez hits some of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see before whipping Taker knees first into the steps. Back in and Undertaker hits some uppercuts but keeps reaching for the Urn. Taker is still down when the gong rings and Paul Bearer makes his return with a black wreath. Whippelman goes after him and gets decked, allowing Paul to get the Urn back. The Giant stares down at him, Undertaker sits up, hits five clotheslines and a sixth frm the top for the pin. Seriously, that’s it.
Rating: G. As in I long for Great Khali. You often hear bad wrestlers said to be as bad as Giant Gonzalez and there’s a good reason for that: the guy is HORRIBLE. I understand the idea of the guy being huge and not needing to do much, but Gonzalez couldn’t do even the most basic stuff without screwing it up. Having seen a good deal of both, I can safely say that Gonzalez makes Great Khali look like Bret Hart.
Post match Harvey turns on Gonzalez and gets laid out.
Cornette says his men have been ripped off all night but that won’t happen when Lex Luger faces his Yokozuna. All those people Luger has seen over the country aren’t going to be able to help him now because it’s just Luger vs. Yokozuna, and the last thing Luger will hear is BANZAI!
Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow
Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.
A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.
Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.
Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.
To fill in time, we talk to Luger’s bus driver. The guy is so valuable he gets to sit in the bus and watch the show on a monitor. He talks about how great Luger is and how he visited a bunch of kids.
Pettingill asks some fans who they like in the main event and the answer is obvious.
Some guy sings the Japanese national anthem.
Randy Savage is master of ceremonies for the main event and comes out with some country singer who sings the American national anthem.
WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna
Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.
Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.
A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.
Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.
Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.
Luger celebrates with his friends to end the show despite not winning the title. We even get a music video of his push, which would be WAY more effective if Luger had, you know, WON THE FREAKING TITLE. Heenan: “This was his ONE shot!” Vince: “Don’t worry he’ll get another one!” Heaven forbid we pay attention to storylines that PPVs are built around.
Overall Rating: C+. With a Luger title win, this would have been a very solid show. There are some bad matches on here but the majority of the show works amazingly well with Bret vs. Lawler and the six man being highlights. Much like last year it’s a show where the overall show is better than its individual parts which made for a good show. Why Luger didn’t go over here continues to elude me.
Ratings Comparison
Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect
Original: B-
Redo: C
1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.
Original: F
Redo: D
Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown
Original: B
Redo: C+
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
Original: B+
Redo: B
Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga
Original: D+
Redo: D-
Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez
Original: C+
Redo: G (As in I long for Great Khali)
Tatanka/Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Impact Wrestling – July 27, 2017: The Jeff Jarrett Special
Impact Wrestling Date: July 27, 2017 Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash
The battle between LAX and Alberto El Patron continues as the group wants El Patron to join him but he’d rather not, leading to a series of fights. As usual though, the problem is finding a member of the team to fight him as there’s no one anywhere near Alberto’s level on the team. Therefore, they’ll likely need to add someone new to their ranks. Let’s get to it.
Joseph Park and Grado arrived earlier and it’s time to propose to Laurel Van Ness so Grado can stay in the country. Park has special gear for him to wear when he pops the question.
Long recap of LAX vs. Alberto and his family, including various kidnappings of Alberto’s brother and father.
Opening sequence.
The Mayor of Orlando is guest ring announcer for the night.
Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards/Naomichi Marufuchi/Moose
Eddie and Eli start things off with Drake trying to silence the crowd. Edwards grabs him by the arm and hands it off to Marufuchi for some more of the same. Drake comes in and gets chopped for his efforts, followed by Adonis coming in to complete the trio. Marufuchi works on Adonis as well, including a double chop with help from Edwards (WE GET IT ALREADY).
The heels are sent outside but Adonis breaks up the Shot of Caffeine and we take a break. Back with Edwards still in trouble and Adonis coming in to kick him in the ribs. The beating continues so the announcers talk about Alberto facing LAX in a gauntlet match tonight. Adonis grabs a chinlock for a good while and Carter comes in to give up the hot tag to Moose.
Some running splashes in the corner have Carter in trouble until Drake and Adonis cut him off with some clubberin in the opposite corner. Marufuchi comes in and fires off kicks to the head, leaving Drake to eat a Pop Up Powerbomb from Moose. Carter sneaks in from behind though and kicks Moose low, setting up a lifting sitout Pedigree for the pin at 16:07.
Rating: C-. Just a boring six man here though at least the ending sets up Moose vs. Carter a bit more. Marufuchi is still just kind of there with little more explanation other than “he’s from Japan and he’s awesome”. Well yeah, but I’m not getting much proof of that when all he’s doing is coming in for about thirty seconds, chopping and kicking, and then getting back out. Moose vs. Carter should be fine especially if it gets Carter the title but there wasn’t much to see here.
A rather large guy named Richard Justice is warming up in case he’s needed. He’s the standby wrestler you see, which McKenzie Miller calls the stupidest thing she’s ever heard.
A brother tag team is coming. That would be the Crist Brothers.
Here’s Lashley to call out Bruce Prichard. In short, he wants a title shot and is tired of being told he has to earn them when people like Alberto come in here and get one on day one. He’d like Bruce to come out here and announce that he’s getting his title shot at Destination X. Cue Bruce with Tyrus to say….not much as Matt Sydal walks past him and gets inside. He pushes Lashley and says he won’t be ignored but Lashley shoves him down. That earns Lashley a knee to the face and a quick shooting star press.
See, this is what they’ve needed to do with the X Division for a long time. There’s no need to throw them into a nothing division off to the side and then use them as cannon fodder. Having them mix with the heavyweights and showing that they can hang makes the division look a lot better, which is whats been missing from this place for years. If they go somewhere with that, well done. Otherwise, it’s a nice thought but nothing more.
Davey Richards and Taiji Ishimori are ready for their Super X Cup match.
Super X Cup First Round: Davey Richards vs. Taiji Ishimori
They fight over a lockup to start with Davey patting him on the chest before trading wristlocks. Ishimori dropkicks him to the floor and teases a 619. Back in and Davey fires off the kicks, followed by a figure four neck lock to send Ishimori over to the ropes. The Indian deathlock goes on but Ishimori makes the rope again. Ishimori hits the running knees in the corner, followed by a Vader Bomb double stomp for two.
They hit the mat for a battle of rollups until Davey rolls him into an ankle lock. That goes nowhere either but Davey catches him in the hold again. Davey plants him down and goes up top, cancels the howl, but misses the double stomp. Ishimori grabs a tombstone but throws Davey up for a pair of knees to the chest instead. A 450 puts Davey away at 8:26.
Rating: C+. Much like Marufuchi, all I know about about Ishimori is whatever we’re told about him during his entrances. Now this match helped a lot more than Marufuchi as we got to see Ishimori work a match that didn’t have the stupid round system or five other people. It helped, though I still need to see a lot more of them and have a reason to care about them for this to really be worth much.
Here are the semifinals:
Dezmond Xavier
Drago
ACH
Ishimori
Prichard makes Lashley vs. Sydal for Destination X with the winner getting whatever title match they want.
Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Sienna
Rosemary is challenging and this is Last Knockout Standing. Sienna, with KM in her corner, gets jumped to start and Rosemary unloads on her to take over. A table is brought in quickly but Sienna drops Rosemary and takes a stroll on the floor. Another table is set up on the outside, followed by the champ throwing in a pair of chairs. We get the required duel with both of them being knocked out of the respective hands.
They fight into the crowd with Sienna’s face being raked over the barricade. Rosemary grabs a headscissors and bends backwards over the barricade into kind of a reverse Tarantula. Sienna taps to no effect and we take a break. Back with Rosemary still in control but having to block what looked to be a powerbomb off the apron. The block doesn’t last though and it’s an AK47 off the apron and down to the floor (basically a release powerbomb in this case) for an eight count.
Back in and the Silencer is blocked by the swing of a chair to put Sienna down for nine. A Red Wedding onto the chair knocks Sienna down but Rosemary can’t follow up. Sienna is up at nine but down at ten so Rosemary puts her in front of the chair in the corner. Rosemary puts a trashcan in front of her for a Van Terminator, only to have KM offer a distraction. That means mist to the face but Sienna shoves her off the top and through the table on the floor to retain at 15:39.
Rating: B-. Good brawl, though nothing we haven’t seen before. Rosemary is rather skilled and Sienna is rather…..well she’s rather boring actually but she’s competent in the ring. KM on the other hand is one of the least interesting guys I’ve seen in a long time and having him around doesn’t add anything to any match he’s involved with. It’s a good match but, save for the reverse Tarantula, this wasn’t anything of note.
We look at the end of the six man.
Carter dubs the sitout Pedigree as the ECD: Ethan Carter’s Driver. Moose vs. Carter for the title next week.
Alberto says LAX is lead by a crazy man.
Here’s Trevor Lee to say he’s a fighting champion, meaning he’s got another handpicked challenger. He’s the king of Mexico….and it’s Octagoncito.
Trevor Lee vs. Octagoncito
Lee wrestles with the stolen title on and runs Octagoncito over to start. He misses a charge into the corner though and gets headscissored down, followed by a very long spinning version to put Trevor on the floor. That’s enough for Lee as he takes the countout at 1:40.
Sonjay Dutt runs in after the match but gets stopped by security. Cue Bruce for another unnecessary cameo to send him to the back.
LAX is ready to destroy Alberto once and for all.
Here are Park and Grado, the latter of whom is in a rather form fitting orange suit, to propose to Laurel. Sienna has to force Laurel down the aisle before leaving. Grado calls Laurel knockout gorgeous and proposes but here are a very excited Allie and a less excited Braxton Sutter to pull her to the back. Before there’s an answer though, Kongo Kong interrupts with a shaking head. Grado bails and Kong picks Laurel up but she tells him to put her down. She never actually said no.
LAX vs. Alberto El Patron
Gauntlet match and non-title. Alberto comes through the crowd and it’s going to be Homicide starting for the team. A top rope splash ends Homicide in nineteen seconds and it’s Ortiz coming in second. We’re off to an early break and it’s back to Ortiz in trouble as well but LAX crotches Alberto on top. Not that it matters as Alberto shoves him Ortiz down and hits the double stomp for the pin at 6:30 total.
Santana is in last and hits a running boot in the corner for two. Alberto gets tripped from the floor but avoids a top rope double stomp. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Santana again but Alberto has to go after the other members. Diamante’s high crossbody is caught and Alberto throws her out onto Homicide. Alberto grabs the cross armbreaker but Ortiz comes in for the DQ at 8:53 total.
Rating: D. So to recap, Alberto just cleaned out all of the wrestling members of LAX in less than nine minutes while also dealing with Diamante and Konnan. And these guys are the top heels in the promotion at the moment and we’re supposed to buy one of them, in theory at least, as a threat to the title? Really? Horrible idea here and a bad way to close the show.
Post match the beatdown is on with Alberto’s brother taking a beating as well. The Veterans of War run in and help Alberto clean house to end the show. In other words, Alberto, who just fended off five people at once on his own, now has his father, his brother, and two big power guys backing him up?
Overall Rating: D+. That main event storyline is just killing everything else on the rest of the show. Everyone in LAX is coming off like a jobber (the Tag Team Champions remember) and that story is dominating the show. There’s some good stuff on here and that’s keeping the show going but they are DYING for a top heel to oppose Alberto (who is far from a great character in the first place). In other words, a Jeff Jarrett run company still doesn’t seem capable of writing TV that is anything more than just average at best.
Results
Eli Drake/Ethan Carter III/Chris Adonis b. Moose/Naomichi Marufuchi/Eddie Edwards – Lifting sitout Pedigree to Moose
Taiji Ishimori b. Davey Richards – 450
Sienna b. Rosemary when Rosemary couldn’t answer the ten count
Octagoncito b. Trevor Lee via countout
Alberto El Patron b. LAX via DQ when Ortiz interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Ring of Honor TV – July 26, 2017: Happy Humphrey Would Be Proud
Ring of Honor Date: July 19, 2017 Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Rico De La Vega
It’s back to the title picture tonight as Kushida is defending the TV Title against Jay White in what could be a good match, assuming Punishment Martinez doesn’t interfere. There’s also a six way match because where in the world would we be without throwing a bunch of people into a match with no particular rhyme or reason? Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
De La Vega is from Future of Honor and Women of Honor and sounds like an Armando Alejandro Estrada knockoff.
The Young Bucks and Adam Page are in the ring to start. They want the Six Man Tag Team Titles you can consider the title match booked. That’s enough from them though as they bring out Marty Scurll for the opener.
Marty Scurll vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. Josh Woods vs. Vinny Marseglia vs. Will Ferrara vs. El Terrible
One fall to a finish with tagging required, though lucha rules apply. We do the fast paced tagging with no action to start until it’s Ferrara vs. Kazarian to really get us going. Kazarian grabs a hiptoss to start but Woods tags himself in to face Ferrara. Will’s thrust to the neck has no effect so he tags in Marseglia instead.
Terrible comes in to chop it out with Vinny and the rather gutty Terrible gets sent into the corner where he no sells a forearm to the jaw. Scurll breaks up a cover off a DDT and it’s Kazarian vs. Terrible. A hard clothesline drops Kazarian and we take a break. Back with Marseglia and Ferrara in the ring as everything breaks down around them. Woods sends Ferrara outside and hits a slow motion running knee to the jaw.
Cue Shane Taylor to beat Woods up, leaving us to hit the parade of secondary finishers, capped off by Marseglia’s Swanton on Ferrara. Scrull tries the chickenwing but gets chased off, leaving Kazarian to hit a Backstabber and Unprettier on Terrible. Scurll runs in to throw Kazarian out though and pins Terrible at 11:07.
Rating: C. I really don’t care for this kind of match as there’s too much going on and nothing really gets advanced. Scurll breaking up pins and then stealing the fall was a good way to push him, though I could have gone for this meaning something (maybe a title shot or a spot in a #1 contenders match). It was a way to fill eleven minutes but nothing with much value.
Christopher Daniels agrees to face Cody for the ROH World Title in two weeks but wants it to be 2/3 falls.
Beer City Bruiser vs. Brian Milonas
Milonas is a rather large tub of goo from the Top Prospect Tournament where he didn’t do much for me. They do the big collision of the stomachs to start and Milonas actually hits a fall away slam. Silas Young offers a distraction though and Bruiser sends him outside for the Cannonball from the apron. Back in and Bruiser hits a running shot to the face, followed by a boot the same general area for two. Milonas catches him on the top with a superplex but misses the middle rope legdrop. Bruiser kicks him in the face again and hits the frog splash for the pin at 4:59.
Rating: D-. See, they’re both big and overweight so it’s interesting. Ring of Honor is a company that is supposed to be the next generation of wrestling or whatever but this was straight out of Vince McMahon’s playbook in the 1980s, if not far before in the days of people like the McGuire Twins or Happy Humphrey. Milonas is embarrassingly huge and made Bruiser look good by comparison.
Post match Young says it’s going to be a long time before Jay Lethal is back.
TV Title: Kushida vs. Jay White
Kushida is defending and this has potential as I like both guys. Feeling out process to start with White taking him down by the arm. De La Vega is getting even more irritating as he starts telling Ian to shut up in Spanish, just like almost every other evil Hispanic wrestling character ever. Back up and Kushida hiptosses him down for the basement dropkick to take over. White trips the champ up though and we take a break.
Back with White slamming him out of the corner for two and we hit the chinlock. A Muta Lock with White pulling on the arm for extra leverage sends Kushida bailing to the ropes. Kushida sends him outside for a dive though and it’s time to get fired up. White grabs the rolling single underhook suplexes to cut him off, including a third into the corner. Another suplex is countered into the Hoverboard Lock with a bodyscissors, only to have White power out.
A Flatliner and dead lift German suplex give White two but Kushida is right back with another Hoverboard Lock. White gets to the ropes and we take a second break. Back with White elbowing the heck out of White’s head and grabbing a cobra clutch on the mat. That doesn’t do much for White so he tries the Kiwi Crusher but Kushida reverses into a small package for two.
A kick to the head drops White again and we get a breather. White is up first and hits the Kiwi Crusher but the bad arm means a bad cover so Kushida can kick out. Back up and White slugs away to put both guys down again. Kushida catches him on top and grabs the Hoverboard Lock up there. That’s not enough as he superplexes White down and hits Back to the Future to retain at 14:40.
Rating: B. That’s what I was expecting with the arm work playing into the match and the finish. Kushida is pretty easily my favorite New Japan guy and he works some of their best matches every single night. White was no slouch here either as he wrestled his usual good match, which has a simple style but does everything it needs to do.
Post match they shake hands as #1 contender Kenny King (Then why did White get the shot here?) comes out to stare Kushida down and end the show.
Next week: Women of Honor! Uh…great.
Overall Rating: C+. Good show this week and we have something special to look forward to in two weeks. The main event is solid and makes Kushida, as well as the title, look more important, though hopefully we get the talented King instead of the one who feels like the Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin. I liked the show more than usual and, save for the bad yet short middle match, it’s worth checking out.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
205 Live – July 25, 2017: I Knew Clowns Were a Bad Idea
205 Live Date: July 25, 2017 Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves
Tonight is more about the midcard as we have a “big” tag match between TJP/Tony Nese and Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann to advance the Swann vs. TJP feud. Other than that Ariya Daivari is facing Neville for reasons that I really don’t understand. If Daivari is the best they can do for an upper midcard heel going after the heel champion, they’re in bigger trouble than it seemed. Let’s get to it.
Neville is really not pleased with Daivari messing with people above his level. That was a critical error by thinking that Neville’s kingdom was open to a hostile takeover. Daivari did well last night but tonight he’s learning the difference between an injured animal like Akira Tozawa and the King of the Cruiserweights.
Opening sequence.
Ariya Daivari vs. Neville
Non-title with Akira Tozawa on commentary. Daivari dedicates this to another Iranian Olympian and promises to hurt Tozawa later. Ariya heads straight to the floor to start and then does it again as there’s no contact in the first minute. They do the same thing a third time until Neville goes after him, only to be sent into the barricade and LED ring skirt. The frog splash gets two back inside as Neville hasn’t had any actual offense yet.
The hammerlock lariat is broken up though and there’s a superkick to put Neville in control. A missile dropkick puts Daivari on the floor where Neville whips him into various things. Neville stops to yell at Tozawa so Daivari sends them into each other. Neville can’t beat the count and gets counted out at 4:36.
Rating: D+. I was liking the match more than I was expecting to until we got to the lame ending. That ending doesn’t make Daivari look like anything special but keeps him around Neville due to getting a win. Daivari did look better than he does otherwise but he’s really not interesting enough to warrant this spot.
Neville and Tozawa are about to go at it but the referees break it up for the sake of Tozawa’s shoulder.
We look back at Mustafa Ali vs. Drew Gulak’s 2/3 falls match last week.
Here’s Brian Kendrick for a chat. He’s tried to help us over and over but all he gets are attacks, both physically and on social media. Why can no one see the difference between fighters like him and clowns like Jack Gallagher? Kendrick puts Gallagher’s picture on the screen and talks about various features such as Gallagher’s hair or eyes…..which are replaced by clown features instead. Gallagher finally comes out to chase Kendrick off. This was really, really stupid.
Swann and Alexander are in the back with Cedric talking about how he’s glad that the crazy ex-girlfriend is gone. Nese and TJP come up to brag about how awesome they’ll be with Nese saying Alexander is a consolation prize. A brawl is cut off by TJP’s music starting up.
TJP/Tony Nese vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann
Swann is now in long tights instead of trunks and starts with Nese. Actually hang on a second as Tony drops to a knee and poses, saying everyone can appreciate that for a second. They exchange leapfrogs until Swann flips over Nese and scores with a dropkick. Cedric comes in and spins Nese around by the arm before handing it right back to Swann. A double dropkick to the back gets two and it’s off to TJP. That means a little dabbing, followed by a PLEASE STOP DABBING chant.
Cedric ankle scissors him into a dropkick and the villains are sent outside. You know two good faces aren’t going to let that go, meaning it’s a running flip dive from Cedric and a Phoenix splash dive from Swann. Back in and Cedric works on an armbar, which for some reason warrants a weak CM Punk chant. A Nese distraction lets TJP run Cedric over though, mainly because good guys aren’t that bright at times.
Nese ties him into the Tree of Woe and drops to his back for some situps and kicks to the ribs. Tony isn’t pleased with getting small packaged for two so he hammers away with quite the aggression. Back to TJP for a foot to the face and more dabbing. A chinlock sets up the spinning springboard forearm (no nipup though) for two. Alexander fights out of a double arm crank and takes TJP down, setting up the hot tag to Swann. Not that you would know it was hot as the fans barely react but take what you can get.
Swann and Nese strike it out until Rich jumps over a legsweep and kicks him in the head. It’s already back to Alexander for a quick running C4 as everything breaks down. Nese throws Swann onto the announcers’ table, leaving Alexander to hit his handspring enziguri for two more. Nese breaks up the springboard forearm though and TJP steals the pin at 12:21.
Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to as they were given time to set things up and go on to the ending. I could have gone for a few more minutes, which isn’t something that I often get to say around here. Swann vs. TJP is a solid feud and the blowoff match should be good, especially if TJP goes full heel on the way there.
Overall Rating: C+. That Gallagher/Kendrick segment aside, this was a rather solid effort from the smaller guys, though some of the talent involved still drags down what would be an otherwise better show. Daivari doesn’t do much for me and Kendrick’s stuff was just stupid. Other than that though, good show this week.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Summerslam 1992 Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
This is probably the most famous of all the Summerslams even to this day as we’re not only outside but for the first and only time ever, a regular PPV is being held in England. It’s another double main event tonight with Savage vs. Warrior for Savage’s world title, along with Davey Boy Smith challenging Bret for the Intercontinental Title. This show was originally going to be held in Washington D.C. with Shawn winning the title from Bret in the first ladder match but the change was made very close to the date of the show. Let’s get to it.
Also note that this is on a two day tape delay, which you would NEVER see for a PPV today.
For reasons I’m not quite clear on, nearly every version of this show you can find online has the dark matches included, so you’re getting some bonus stuff tonight.
We open with kids arguing over whether Warrior or Savage sold out to Perfect and Flair. Another kid says British Bulldog is going to win whether he likes it or not.
Heenan puts on a crown and declares himself Sir Bobby, King of England.
Dark Match: Nasty Boys/Moutnie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers
The aisle to the ring is REALLY long so the entrances take extra time this year. Duggan is so beloved that he can get a USA chant going in London. Both teams take turns playing to the crowd before we get going. It’s a big brawl to start with the heels being rammed together in the middle of the ring before rolling to the outside. We finally start with Knobbs vs. Luke but everything breaks down almost immediately with the heels running away.
Things finally settle down with Sags clotheslining Butch down….and everything breaks down a third time in less than five minutes. Duggan sends the Bushwhackers into the corner with the battering ram to all three heels at once to fire up the crowd even more. The Nasties and Mountie are whipped into clotheslines from Duggan but a Jimmy Hart distraction finally lets the heels jump Luke from behind to take over.
The fans chant USA as Mountie hits a jumping back elbow to take down the New Zealander Luke. The Nasties choke away in the corner as Vince is freaking out over the rules being broken this badly. Sags and Mountie both hook reverse chinlocks as the classic six man tag formula is in full effect. Knobbs comes in for a hard whip into the corner but a middle rope splash hits boot. The hot tag brings in Duggan to clean house with clothesline after clothesline. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Battering Ram, the three point clothesline and a missed top rope elbow from Sags to Mountie for the pin by Duggan.
Rating: C+. This was an extended but nicely done tag match. The fans were WAY into Duggan and the pop for the win was a nice response for a dark match. I was surprised by how well this match worked. Most dark matches just drag along and are nothing but rest holds and punching/kicking but this went nearly thirteen minutes and never got dull.
Dark Match: Tito Santana vs. Papa Shango
Shango used to scare me to death. Tito is El Matador so he has the awesome gold jacket. Papa jumps him from behind to take over and hits a splash in the corner to have the bullfighter in trouble. Tito comes back with some clotheslines and a dropkick to send Shango out to the floor. They head back inside where Tito gets two each off a middle rope clothesline and a cross body before hooking a sleeper.
Shango sends him into the buckle to escape as Heenan makes bull jokes about Tito. The voodoo guy keeps up the generic power offense by headbutting Santana down and walking around the ring. Santana avoids a middle rope elbow and makes his comeback but the flying forearm only gets two. Shango pops up and hits a shoulder breaker for the pin.
Rating: D. Shango was all character and no substance in the ring. This is a good example of what most dark matches are like: short, dull and nothing that I’ll remember in about five minutes. Santana was good in this kind of role as he makes everyone look good, although there was only so much he could do with a guy like Shango. Who knew the answer was to make the voodoo guy a pimp?
Dark Match: Tatanka vs. Berzerker
This is the final dark match and is held right before the main event but I’m putting it here for the sake of simplicity. Berzerker wants a test of strength to start and easily takes the smaller Tatanka down. The Native American comes back by easily shoving Berzerker to the floor before they slug it out back inside. They collide after a crisscross but Berzerker misses a dropkick, allowing Tatanka to fire away on the leg.
A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Tatanka before a regular slam puts him down outside the ring. Back in and Heenan makes Indian jokes as Berzerker kicks Tatanka in the ribs. A backdrop puts Berzerker on the floor before Tatanka starts his war dance back inside. The Papoose to Go is enough for the pin on the viking.
Rating: D. To give you an idea what this match was, think of nothing. Now take away any possible interest that nothing has and you’ll have this match. It was very dull and uninteresting and the fans clearly wanted to see the main event instead of more worthless wrestling. Tatanka would become a pretty big deal against Yokozuna in about a year.
Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom
This is on the main card with no real fanfare at all. The LOD comes to the ring on motorcycles along with manager Paul Ellering and……dang it…….Rocco the Dummy. There’s nothing more to it than that: it’s a ventriloquist dummy named Rocco who was the team’s “inspiration.” DiBiase is in his white trunks which I couldn’t stand when I first did this show but for some reason they work for me now. Vince gets in one of my favorite lines ever: “The Legion of Doom is well known for their psychology in the ring.” I’ll pause for a minute to let that one sink in.
Hawk starts with DiBiase and it’s Ted sliding to the floor to avoid a right hand. Animal jumps DiBiase on the floor and sends him back inside, only for Hawk to clothesline him right back to the floor. The fans are WAY into the LOD here. Off to Animal vs. IRS with Animal whipping him into the corner and standing on the tie like a smart man would. A gorilla press gets two for Animal before it’s back to Hawk for some arm work.
Irwin comes back with a sleeper but it’s only good for two arm drops before Hawk rams him into the buckle. The top rope clothesline misses IRS though and Hawk falls out to the floor. IRS drops some elbows as for two the fans won’t stop chanting for LOD. Back to DiBiase for some knee drops followed by a chinlock. Jimmy Hart, one of the greatest managers of all time, is yelling at Rocco the dummy. Money Inc. changes off without tagging to send Vince into his usual hysteria.
Hawk finally fights up and rams Ted into the buckle but the hot tag is broken up. The place is going to go nuts when Animal gets in. Ted drops some knees on Hawk and puts on a front facelock but the bird man carries him over towards Animal. IRS breaks up ANOTHER hot tag attempt but gets caught in a double clothesline with Hawk. Animal FINALLY gets the hot tag and cleans house but IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device. Not that it matters much as Animal powerslams DiBiase down for the pin about three seconds later.
Rating: C-. The crowd was HOT for this but it wasn’t much of note. This was part of the three way tag team feud with the Natural Disasters over the fall which ultimately saw Money Inc. coming out with the titles. This was the last appearance for this incarnation of the LOD for years in the WWF because of Rocco. Seriously, Hawk snapped over the idea and didn’t go back to America (to be fair though everyone knew the snap was coming sooner or later).
Ric Flair, in ring gear despite not being in action tonight, is happy to be in London. Gene asks him whose dressing room Mr. Perfect is in. “He’s in the dressing room of the winner of course. WOO!” Touche.
Virgil is ready for Nailz tonight.
Virgil vs. Nailz
There isn’t much to Nailz. He was an escaped convict who wanted revenge on Big Boss Man for abusing him in prison and that’s about it. He attacked Boss Man with the nightstick and Virgil is standing up for his injured friend. Nailz immediately chokes Virgil into the corner but Virgil comes back with some jobber offense. A rollup gets no count on Nailz and it’s back to choking from the convict. We head to the floor and Virgil is rammed into the apron, sending him into a bad acting session. Back in and Nailz hooks a standing chinlock/choke for the win.
Rating: F. There isn’t much to say here. Neither guy was interesting and the match was little more than a way to set up the blowoff match against Boss Man. The problem with that is no one cared about Virgil so all we had was a Nailz squash. Nailz just wasn’t any good and after the Boss Man feud he didn’t have much, other than a horrible sounding feud with Undertaker. Then he went nuts and choked Vince in his office and said he wanted McMahon dead during the steroids trial, basically saving Vince from prison. That’s Nailz’s entire WWF career for all intents and purposes.
Nailz lays Virgil out with the nightstick post match.
Alfred Hayes can’t find Mr. Perfect, nor can he get into Macho Man’s dressing room.
We recap Shawn vs. Rick Martel. Shawn cost Martel an IC Title shot, so Martel started hitting on Shawn’s manager Sherri. Sherri then started coming out to support Martel, setting up the showdown tonight. However since Sherri thought both guys were handsome, she made the rule that there was to be no hitting in the face.
Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel
This is the rare heel vs. heel match. Rick is dressed for tennis for some reason I don’t quite grasp. The back of Sherri’s dress is missing, sending Vince into a frenzy over the sight of a thong. Martel grabs a headlock to start and avoids a right hand before doing some jumping jacks. Shawn slides between Martel’s legs and takes over with a dropkick. Apparently dropkicks to the face are legal.
Martel misses a cross body and Shawn cranks on the arm to take over. They trade nip ups but neither guy can bring themselves to throw a punch. Instead Martel, playing the face in the match, sends Shawn over the top to Sherri’s feet. Rick heads to the floor and hugs Sherri who seems very pleased with both men. Back in and they trade rollups with handful of tights each, resulting in Shawn’s tights barely staying on.
Sweet Chin Music to the chest gets two for Shawn and a knee to Martel’s face gets two. Martel rolls him up as well and now they’re ready to fight. They trade slaps to draw Sherri up to the apron…..and she faints. The guys get in a fight over who gets to give her CPR with the fisticuffs breaking out, resulting in a double countout. Sherri pokes her head up to reveal she’s playing possum.
Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me but it was more of an angle than a match. Sherri would be gone soon after this which kept the story from going anywhere but the match here wasn’t terrible. Shawn would be launching through the roof soon after this by dominating the midcard for the next few years while Martel wouldn’t do much else in the company.
They fight up the aisle until suits break them up. Shawn carries Sherri out but Martel knocks him down, dropping Sherri to the floor in the process. Martel picks her up and carries her a few feet but Shawn decks Martel, knocking Sherri to the floor yet again. Martel finally runs out with a bucket of water to wake Sherri up.
The Nasty Boys talk about the world title match for some reason. They ask Jimmy about a title shot but Jimmy Hart, also the manager of Money Inc. is notably anxious, which is hinting at his face turn.
Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers
The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.
Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.
Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!
Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.
Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.
Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.
The Bushwhackers speculate on whose corner Perfect will be in. Gene Okerlund makes some very bad British jokes.
Hayes can’t get into the Warrior’s dressing room either. He tries to barge in and calls Warrior rude for locking the door. Even HEENAN points this out to him.
Repo Man vs. Crush
Repo tries to jump Crush but has no effect and earns himself a gorilla press slam. We head to the floor for a clothesline from Crush before heading back inside for some kicks to Repo’s ribs. Crush pounds on the ribs even more and hits a backbreaker, only to be poked in the eye to break the momentum. Repo hits a belly to back suplex but Crush no sells it and snaps off a belly to belly. A top rope knee drop misses and Repo goes after the knee with some very basic stuff. An elbow drop gets two and Crush easily fights up, catches Repo coming off the top in a powerslam and hooks the Head Vice for the submission.
Rating: D. This was a glorified squash to make Crush look good. They were this close to making Crush the next big thing in 1993 so seeing him look good here isn’t surprising at all. Repo Man is really impressive as he went from Smash to the new gimmick so smoothly that I didn’t realize it was the same guy until years later.
We recap the world title match which is summed up in one question: who sold out? This was THE story of the summer as everyone was wondering if Savage would sell out to be able to beat the man that ended his career a year earlier or if Warrior sold out to guarantee his second WWF Title. Why both guys would want a manager who wasn’t even managing the world champion is anyone’s guess. Savage’s line of “I’m the WWF Champion and you’re not!” is great stuff.
WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior
There’s no sign of Perfect or Flair with Warrior. Warrior is also in a singlet here instead of in his usual trunks. There’s no one with Savage either though, meaning we have to wait even longer to find out who sold out. Savage offers a handshake to start but Warrior accuses him of selling out and won’t shake. Scratch that as he does shake but they pull each other together and it’s on.
It’s a feeling out process to start with Savage shoving him away and hitting a knee to the ribs. A clothesline to the back of Warrior’s head puts him down as the fans are booing. Savage goes up top but Warrior punches him in the ribs to break up a double ax handle. A pair of atomic drops puts Randy down and some shoulder blocks do the same. Savage pounds away and hooks a chinlock, only for Warrior to break it up with a jawbreaker.
A bit right hand staggers the champion in the corner and Warrior stomps away for good measure. Warrior hits a clothesline but Savage ducks away, sending Warrior chest first into the buckle. The champion clotheslines him out to the floor for a bit before hitting the top rope ax handle back inside. It has no effect at all though as Warrior starts marching around the ring. Savage elbows him in the face to put him back down though and goes up again, only to dive into a backbreaker for two.
Warrior whips the champion hard into a corner a few times before putting on a bearhug. Instead of hanging onto it though he lets Savage go almost immediately and gets a two count. Another backbreaker gets two but Savage comes back with a small package for two of his own. A neckbreaker puts the challenger down but a delayed cover only gets two for Randy. Warrior comes back with a hard clothesline and starts pounding away on Savage’s weak back.
A suplex puts Savage down for a close two as the fans are getting into these near falls. Warrior charges at Savage but falls out to the floor by mistake. Randy goes up and drops yet another double ax onto Warrior’s back before sending him into the steps for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Savage but Warrior slams him down. Here are Flair and Perfect to ringside as Warrior’s splash hits knees.
Savage and Warrior clothesline each other down which gets two each for both guys. Randy is up first but Perfect trips him down, signaling that Warrior is the sellout. Back up and Warrior punches him down before choking Savage into the corner. Warrior throws Savage into the corner again but the referee is bumped in the process. A slam puts Savage down and Warrior goes up top for a right hand to the head, although there’s no referee.
The referee finally comes over to count the two and Warrior is visibly frustrated. Back up and Savage hits a knee to send Warrior into the referee again before hitting a piledriver on the Ultimate one. There’s no referee again though so Savage goes to check on him. As Randy is out on the floor, Flair and Perfect take out Warrior behind Savage’s back. Randy drops the big elbow but the referee isn’t there in time for a count. Flair and Perfect are huddling on the floor.
Warrior starts his comeback with Savage pounding away on his back but to no effect. He runs over Savage with clotheslines and the flying shoulder block before loading up the gorilla press. Savage is in big trouble but as Warrior sets up the splash, Flair hits him in the back with a chair. Note that Savage didn’t see what Flair did.
Savage doesn’t know what to do now but he realizes Flair and Perfect did something. The champion goes up top but he isn’t sure. Instead of dropping the elbow though he dives at Flair, but gets knocked out of the air by a chair shot, injuring Savage’s knee in the process. Savage is counted out but retains the title.
Rating: B+. This was another really good match between the two and a great rematch from their first classic a year and a half earlier at Wrestlemania 7. The idea of having someone turn was a great incentive to watch the show, and having neither guy do the turn was the right move. The ending of the match is important soon after this.
Post match Flair puts Savage in the Figure Four with Perfect adding in more shots to the leg. Warrior finally saves Savage with a chair and helps him to his feet.
The official attendance is announced.
Undertaker vs. Kamala
Kamala was Undertaker’s Monster of the Month at this point and is managed by Harvey Whippelman. Undertaker rides to the ring on the back of a hearse to kill even more time. Taker fires off uppercuts to start and chokes away in the corner before avoiding a charging Ugandan. Harvey breaks up Old School but Kamala can’t hurt Taker at all. He clotheslines the dead man to the floor but Taker no sells everything Kamala throws at him. Back inside and Taker easily chokeslams him down and hits the Tombstone but Kamala’s other manager Kim Chee comes in for the DQ.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here as it was setting up the coffin match at Survivor Series. This was during the bad period for Undertaker as he fought a bunch of monsters with no particular rhyme or reason. Kamala was nothing special and spent most of his career trying to be intimidating but getting destroyed every time.
Post match Kim Chee helps Kamala lay Undertaker out and the big man hits a top rope splash to Undertaker, but the Dead Man pops up a few seconds later.
Tatanka vs. Berzerker happened here.
British Bulldog talks about fighting hard for two years to reach this point. Yes Bret is the Champion and his brother in law but when they get in the ring together, Bret is a stranger to him. He hopes the families reunite after the match but he’ll be the champion.
Bret says that Davey might not know him but he can look Bret in the eye and see the man that got Smith his start in the company. This is a total heel promo from Bret, which is the right move given where they are tonight. Tonight, Smith’s dream becomes a nightmare.
Here are some Highlanders playing the bagpipes. Their featured performer: Roddy Piper of course.
Diana Hart-Smith, Bret’s sister and Davey’s wife, will be neutral tonight. She just wants them to get along after the match.
Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith
Bulldog has British Commonwealth boxing champion Lennox Lewis leading him to the ring and carrying the Union Jack. The place comes unglued for Davey but Bret isn’t booed at all, as his style is perfect for a crowd like this. Bulldog shoves him into the corner to start before hitting a hard shoulder to send the champion to the floor. Back in and they head to the mat with Bret grabbing a headlock to take over. Bret gets a few near falls off some rollups and it’s right back to the headlock.
Back up again and Davey grabs a hammerlock but Bret hits a HARD elbow to the face to escape, drawing the ire of the fans. Davey takes him down with basic technique and cranks on the armbar. The hold stays on for a good while with the fans getting louder and louder the longer Smith has control. Bret finally sends him into the ropes to escape and drives a knee into Smith’s ribs. The fans boo Hart out of the stadium for a basic move like a knee and boo even louder for a chinlock.
An atomic drop (called a reverse piledriver by Vince) puts Smith down and Bret blocks a crucifix (which worked earlier) in a Samoan Drop for two. Another chinlock is quickly broken but Davey charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. A bulldog puts Bulldog down but he slams Bret off the top a second later. Davey misses a top rope splash and is sent to the outside, drawing a ton of heat for Bret.
The champion tries a dive to the floor but lands on Davey’s back, nearly breaking several bones in the process. Bret sends him into the post before heading back inside pounding away with European uppercuts. Hart hooks a chinlock for a good while before loading up the Five Moves of Doom. He pulls Bulldog up by the hair to show how evil he is and it’s off to a sleeper. This stays on for a LONG time as well but Smith rams him into the corner to escape again.
They slug it out but Davey drops him out of a gorilla press into the ropes. Three straight clotheslines get two for Smith and a gorilla press gets the same. The delayed vertical and the chest first bump into the buckle get the same. Bulldog hits his powerslam finisher but Bret gets out at two, with far less of a reaction from the crowd than you would expect. Bret rolls through a suplex for two of his own, only to get superplexed down for a near fall.
Back up again and a double clothesline puts both guys down, giving the fans a needed breather. While laying on his back Bret hooks the Sharpshooter ala last year against Mr. Perfect, terrifying the fans. Smith gets the rope so Bret tries a suplex, but Davey drops to his knees and hooks both legs for the pin and the title. The place ERUPTS on the three count.
Rating: A+. This took awhile to get going but once those near falls started it turns into an instant classic. Davey had to win here and it was a perfectly clean pin in the middle of the ring. Bret, ever the critic, doesn’t like this match and basically blames the whole thing on Smith for being spent five minutes in. Those of us in the real world see it for what it is: a masterpiece.
Bret, Davey and Diana embrace to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the matches don’t add up to the whole rating. The thing to remember is this show is less than three hours (not counting dark matches which I don’t count towards the show’s rating) and nearly an hour of that is spent on two great matches. The rest of the bad stuff is pretty short and the two main events more than make up for it. This is easily the best Summerslam so far and one of the best ever. Check this out if you’ve somehow never seen it.
Ratings Comparison
Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys
Original: B
Redo: C+
Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana
Original: D+
Redo: D
Tatanka vs. Berzerker
Original: C
Redo: D
Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.
Original: C+
Redo: C-
Nailz vs. Virgil
Original: C
Redo: F
Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel
Original: B
Redo: D+
Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters
Original: D+
Redo: D
Repo Man vs. Crush
Original: C+
Redo: D
Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage
Original: A
Redo: B+
Kamala vs. Undertaker
Original: C
Redo: D
British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart
Original: A+
Redo: A+
Overall Rating
Original: A+
Redo: B+
I was WAY too nice to this show the first time. It’s great but it’s not THAT great.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
NXT Date: July 26, 2017 Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
With less than a month to go before Takeover: Brooklyn III, it’s time to start getting things ready for the biggest show of the year. We already have the NXT Title match set as Drew McIntyre will challenge Bobby Roode for the title but we need a bit more than that to fill out a card. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Ember Moon vs. Lei’D Tapa
Oh come on didn’t I have to watch enough of Tapa in TNA? Tapa runs her over with a clothesline to start but Moon shrugs it off. Moon loads herself up for a superplex but spins around into a regular suplex of her own (Bad News Barrett used to use that move). The Eclipse puts Tapa away at 1:22.
Ember wants Asuka and promises to give her some real competition.
Aleister Black video.
David Ramos/Timothy Bumpers vs. Authors of Pain
Non-title but hang on a second as Nikki Cross blocks the Authors’ path. Cue Sanity in the ring to beat up the jobbers as the Authors and Paul Ellering look on. The Authors hit the ring and the fight is on (Mauro: “LIKE DONKEY KONG!”) with the champs cleaning house without too much effort. No match of course.
The Street Profits are coming.
We look at Cezar Bononi shocking Andrade Cien Almas. Last week, Almas attacked Bononi again at the behest of the now named Zolita Vega.
Earlier today, Vega threatened No Way Jose with Almas’ wrath.
Velveteen Dream vs. Cezar Bononi
Dream pounds him down without much effort but gets kicked in the jaw and punched in the face. A Falcon Arrow gives Bononi two, only to have Dream come back with a Death Valley Bomb (a Death Valley Driver landing on the back instead of the head). The top rope elbow (Purple Rainmaker) for the pin at 1:39.
Post match Dream calls the NXT audience ugly and says their experience will have to wait.
General Manager William Regal officially makes Moon vs. Asuka for the title in Brooklyn.
Here’s McIntyre to talk about his upcoming title match. There are four weeks until Brooklyn and that’s not a lot of time. Drew doesn’t have a backwards button because he only goes forward. When he was in WWE before, he was the Chosen One and expected to have everything handed to him. That’s why he failed though. Once he was gone from WWE, it became clear to him that he had to be the hardest worker in the world. Now McIntyre looks at Roode and sees nothing but entitlement. This isn’t Roode’s NXT because it belongs to all of the people here. He wants everyone to stand up with him because WE ARE NXT.
Raul Mendoza is ready to face Johnny Gargano next week. Maybe we’ll be talking about his rise instead of Gargano’s return.
Kassius Ohno vs. Hideo Itami
Ohno takes him down by the arm to start and they hit the mat for some grappling. Itami shrugs off a chop so Ohno hammers away even more, including a basement dropkick to the head. Ohno flips onto the apron but gets kicked in the chest, followed by a middle rope Fameasser. Back from a break with Itami dropping a knee for two and kicking him in the back with a sneer.
A chinlock set up a few more kicks to the chest and it’s right back to the chinlockery. Itami dives into a chop though and Ohno runs through a kick, setting up a Shining Wizard. The cyclone boot and a backsplash give Ohno two but Itami is right back with a suplex. The GTS doesn’t work so Ohno kicks him in the jaw, only to have Itami kick him low for the DQ at 11:44.
Rating: C+. They beat the heck out of each other here and I dig the ending with Itami taking the cheater’s way out and attacking Ohno when he thought he couldn’t beat him. That’s a great way to push his heel turn and makes him look like a changed man instead of someone willing to fight with honor. Ohno continues to be a fine upper midcard face who isn’t going anywhere in the long term and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Itami unloads on him with kicks post match and adds a trio of GTS’s with the third landing on the steps.
Overall Rating: C+. This was kind of an odd show as they had some big stuff announced but a lot of the show was spent on stuff that didn’t seem to make the biggest difference. It wasn’t bad by any means though and I’m kind of glad they didn’t push things when they didn’t need to be pushed. NXT has found the right balance of focus and not overdoing things and that’s very helpful as we head towards Brooklyn. Two matches are official and I think you can figure out most of what else is coming without too much effort. Not bad with about a month to go.
Results
Ember Moon b. Lei’D Tapa – Eclipse
Velveteen Dream b. Cezar Bononi – Purple Rainmaker
Kassius Ohno b. Hideo Itami via DQ when Itami kicked him low
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here: