Smackdown – June 10, 2004: This Is How To Make JBL Work

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 10, 2004
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer and closer to the Great American Bash and this week is all about the Undertaker possibly joining forces with Paul Heyman and the Dudley Boyz for the sake of saving Paul Bearer. That just screams bad idea due to some of the people involved (hint: their names are Bubba and D-Von) but maybe the others can save things. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bearer being kidnapped and Heyman’s proposition. This is somehow better than JBL’s radio show discussions.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle is in the ring to open the show. He used to come here to Long Island when he was WWE Champion and people booed him out of the building. It didn’t matter though because Angle knew he was better than everyone. The fans start a pretty fast paced YOU SUCK chant until Angle says he can never wrestle again. We see a clip of last week’s brawl between Booker T. and John Cena, which saw Angle get knocked over by Cena and hit in the knee by Booker’s chair shot.

Angle wants an apology so here’s Booker to say it was all Cena’s fault. He couldn’t sleep for three days after he hit Angle, so now he’ll apologize five times. Angle accepts it and excuses him but now it’s Cena’s turn. The rap is cut off by a raving Angle (always entertaining) but Cena says he didn’t mean to hit Angle last week, because Angle would still be in the hospital if he tried to.

Angle has talked to the board of directors and Cena is now on probation, meaning he’s stripped of the US Title on the spot if he lays a hand on Angle again. For tonight though, Cena needs to apologize for who he is. That’s not happening because Cena isn’t changing a thing and if Angle doesn’t like it, he can wheel himself out of here. Besides, they’re even. Cena can’t touch him but Angle can’t see him. That’s enough for Cena but Angle says Cena has three matches tonight. Each one will be five minutes long and the first man to beat him gets a US Title shot at the Great American Bash. I’ve heard worse ideas….I think?

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Suzuki is carried to the ring on a throne with a woman walking behind him. The announcers talk about Suzuki wanting vengeance, though they’re not sure what the vengeance is for actually. My guess is for Scotty’s dancing. Suzuki goes after the arm to start and chops at the neck, with a big one putting Scotty down in the corner. A kick to the face drops Scotty again and Kenzo starts spinning around for some reason. Scotty scores with a superkick but a claw STO finishes him off in a hurry. Based on this match, Suzuki has an awesome future. Provided he can build a time machine and go back to a territory in 1984.

Angle talks to Cena’s opponents for tonight (Booker T., Rob Van Dam and Rene Dupree) so they can draw straws to determine an order, but that has to be behind closed doors.

Earlier today, JBL went to a salon and made fun of the immigrants who took care of him. It’s far too late, but this is the kind of thing he should have been doing from the beginning: going over the top and taking advantage of the people he constantly insults to show what a hypocrite he is. That’s the kind of person you want to see take a beating, not a guy droning on about a radio show and a stock portfolio.

JBL arrives at the arena, decides this place isn’t worth his time, and leaves. The driver won’t listen to him though, mainly because the driver is Eddie. So was Eddie driving all day or did he switch places in the fifteen seconds JBL was outside of the car and looking forward the whole time? Either way, JBL can’t operate a door so Eddie drives off, hitting some trash on the way.

Earlier today, the Dudleys and Heyman drank to celebrate what they did. Heyman says not so fast, because Paul Bearer was the only person Undertaker would go to for advice. Now they control Bearer, who controls the Undertaker. Heyman is going to the arena alone tonight so they tell him to be careful.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo Classic, with his ladies, is on commentary. Rey wristdrags him to start and Chavo isn’t sure what to do. Chavo gets in a dropkick though and it’s already time to choke on the rope. That’s not the best idea though as Rey sends him through those ropes for a big dive off the top. Back from a break with Chavo dropkick Rey out of the air and Classic turning into the biggest cheerleader ever, though he does think he could do it better than Jr. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back for a bit before Chavo puts him on top.

That earns him an elbow to the face and a moonsault press for two. A kick to the face has Rey right back down and Tazz starts singing Beatles songs and talking about Fantasy Island. The springboard seated senton gives Rey two and a spinning armdrag has Chavo in….and never mind the trouble as he Alley Oops Rey to drop him again. Chavo’s Gory Bomb (Classic: “My dad invented this move!”) is broken up and there’s the 619, followed by some failed interference from Classic. Rey grabs a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. Ok it’s time to get the title on Rey again. The Classic stuff was funny for a little while (his commentary is still great) but having him holding the title has already run its limited course. Either put it on Jr. or give it back to Rey, because they really need to restore some credibility to the title after the last few weeks.

Jr. is furious with his dad.

Raw Rebound.

As the parking lot is being cleaned up, Eddie drives the (now smoking and mostly destroyed) limo back in. He switches to reverse and backs into another car, knocking what looks like a bunch of crash pads onto it.

Back from a break and Eddie drives the ruined limo (only one horn left and a headlight hanging off) into the arena. He opens the back door but Bradshaw has passed out with the food and drinks all over him. Eddie gets in the ring and makes some jokes as Bradshaw is waking up and stumbles out of the limo. After putting on the hat, he sees the damage and panics. Again: much more entertaining because it’s not just JBL talking about the same thing he’s talked about for weeks.

Video on the European tour.

The following three matches are all non-title with five minute time limits and whoever beats Cena first gets a US Title shot at the Great American Bash. That’s actually unique for a change.

John Cena vs. Booker T.

Kurt Angle is out to watch. Booker slams him down to start but Cena comes out of the corner with a running clothesline. A hot shot and the superkick give Booker two, followed by a kick to the face for two more. We hit the chinlock, which Tazz calls good strategy after talking about how little time he has left. Cena fights up but gets knocked right back down with the side kick. Booker takes his sweet time though and Cena blasts him with a clothesline. A slow motion ax kick misses as time expires.

Rating: D. That’s on a bit of a sliding scale as you can only do so much with a match designed to go to a short time limit. Booker wasn’t even acting urgently here and it made you wonder what he was thinking. He knew the idea of the match (the big clock on the screen probably gave him an idea) but he was walking around rather slowly and not really going for it. That doesn’t make sense.

John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Joined in progress after the break (Nine seconds after the break. What’s the point?) with Van Dam spinning around and getting two off a spinning kick to the face. Cena clotheslines him out of the air for two of his own and hits a running forearm to the back (kind of an odd move). A running knee to the ribs and a suplex give Cena two but Van Dam scores with the stepover kick. The split legged moonsault connects for two more but Booker crotches Rob to break up the Five Star. Angle ejects Booker from ringside so Rob breaks up a superplex attempt and kicks Cena in the face. There’s the Five Star, but time expires again.

Rating: C-. Better match but still not good, though having Booker interfere made Van Dam look a little bit better. It’s a bit of a stretch for Rob to not be able to beat a tired Cena so the interference worked well here. It could also set up a Van Dam vs. Booker match, which could help out the pay per view card quite a bit.

John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree asks for five more minutes so Angle says go ahead. A belly to belly plants Cena and Dupree hits the French Tickler….but walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t exactly great and the bonus stuff just made Dupree look even weaker than he has in recent weeks. Dupree still knows how to get booed and that’s going to be worth something but Cena is on a different level right now and isn’t about to lose to him. It wasn’t a good match or anything, but at least Dupree lasted the five minutes.

Post match Angle says Cena didn’t win in the five minutes so it didn’t count. Booker runs back in and beats Cena down with Van Dam making the save. Angle says Cena didn’t win anything in the challenge so he’ll defend against all three of them at the Bash. Cena and Van Dam have some words and Rob kicks him in the head.

Long recap of the Heyman/Dudleys/Undertaker story.

Here’s Paul Heyman with a bag over his shoulder. He wants to make sure the cameras are recording because this is where everything begins. Tonight is the night when the most powerful force in wrestling joins forces with the most creative man in wrestling. So Undertaker needs to come out here with an answer….and there’s the gong. Undertaker slowly comes to the ring and Heyman pulls the Urn out of the bag. He holds it up and Undertaker stares at it before taking the knee to end the show with Tazz and Cole panicking.

Overall Rating: D. The Cena stuff was a fine idea that didn’t work great in practicality, the Eddie/JBL stuff was an improvement but that’s not exactly a huge step up, and Kenzo Suzuki debuted. What exactly is there that was a good thing on this show? Somehow, it’s Chavo Classic, who was entertaining on commentary and part of the only story that didn’t have me checking the time to see how much longer was left. The show is getting slightly better, but it’s still one of the worst times the show has ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2010: Oh.

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is challenging here because he wants to win his first singles title. Simple but effective I guess. Bryan has Rise of the Valkyries as his new music here but the lack of beard hurts. Maryse is with Ted here too and is rocking a beige dress. Bryan speeds things up to start and there go the lights. Daniel dropkicks DiBiase to the apron but as he goes to get Ted, Bryan gets suplexed out to the floor in a cool bump.

Sheamus says Morrison is jealous of him for being a former and future World Champion because Morrison never will reach that level.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Cole says Morrison described this match as a tank against a fighter jet. Cole: “Of course Morrison the jet and Sheamus the tank.” Thanks Michael. Morrison starts fast and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor followed by a corkscrew dive to take the pale one out. Sheamus sends him into the barricade and runs Morrison over with an ax handle.

Intercontinental Title: Kaval vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kaval comes back with a handspring into an awesome kick to the face in the corner. Kaval goes up with his back to the ring, allowing Dolph to put on a sleeper on the top rope for some reason. Dolph gets knocked back and Kaval misses a big flip dive, allowing Dolph to hit the Fameasser for two. The sleeper gets slapped on again (on the mat this time) but Kaval escapes and is launched to the top rope where he springs off and hits a spin kick to the face in ANOTHER awesome looking move. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two before Ziggler gets a rollup of his own with tights to retain.

Team Del Rio vs. Team Mysterio

Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes

Rey Mysterio, Chris Masters, Big Show, MVP, Kofi Kingston

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

Back in and Natalya suplexes both girls at once but her back is hurt in the process. Michelle blasts her in said back on the floor, but Natalya shoves Michelle over the barricade. They all brawl at ringside for a bit before Natalya and Michelle head into the ring. McCool gets rammed into Layla and the Sharpshooter gives Natalya the title.

but once they split, they fell off the face of the earth.

Beth Phoenix returns to save Natalya from a double beatdown. This would set up a Divas tables match next month.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Kane beats up Edge post match. Edge comes back and puts Kane in the wheelchair and sends him through part of the barricade.

Tag Team Titles: Nexus vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella

Raw World Title: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

We head to the floor where Barrett hits a kick to the ribs to take over. Orton gets sent into the steps and punched down back in the ring. Barrett covers and gets a fair one count. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Orton fights back with his usual comeback stuff. The backbreaker gets two and Orton glares at Cena. Barrett gets in an uppercut and hits a top rope elbow for two.

Cena has no idea what to do post match. Nexus runs in and gets beaten down by the Super Best Friends. Cena hands Orton the title to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: C+

John Morrison vs. Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Natalya vs. Laycool

Original: D+

Redo: D

Kane vs. Edge

Original: D

Redo: F+

Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked this one WAY better on first viewing. Then again I didn’t know what was coming for Nexus back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/19/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2010-when-did-orton-and-barrett-get-good/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Saturday Night’s Main Event #10: The Wrestlemania Preview

IMG Credit: WWE

Date: March 14, 1987
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 21,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

Heenan says Andre is the best.

Elizabeth explains the stipulations for Savage vs. Steele: the winner gets the title and her.

Jake Roberts and Damien will be feasting on 400lbs of King Kong Bundy.

Opening sequence.

Jesse says Vince looks like the Penguin from Batman.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Winner take all. Before we get the bell, we get our fourth separate segment with Elizabeth in the first ten minutes, with Gene wishing her luck. Elizabeth is sitting in a chair at ringside like a lifeguard. George goes over to her but Savage jumps him from behind to get things going. He immediately tries to take Elizabeth to the back but Steamboat is waiting on him.

Steele takes the title belt and finds a poster of Elizabeth as a consolation prize.

Hogan is warming up and keeps saying the name of someone in the battle royal with every other name being Andre.

Heenan and Andre say the Giant will win.

Battle Royal

Hillbilly Jim, Ron Bass, Sika, Haku, Tama, Lanny Poffo, Hercules, Butch Reed, Paul Orndorff, Billy Jack Haynes, Koko B. Ware, Nikolai Volkoff, Blackjack Mulligan, Ax, Smash, Honky Tonk Man, Jim Brunzell, B. Brian Blair, Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan

Everyone gangs up on Hogan to start but some guys go after Andre instead. Hogan fights back and dumps Honky Tonk Man before Andre does the same to Sika. Andre dumps Sika before hitting a massive headbutt on Poffo to bust him open, followed by a quick elimination. Hogan fights back as Poffo is taken out on a stretcher with pools of blood underneath him. Things settle down a bit as the ring has cleared out a little. Bass gets eliminated by Hogan and Andre does the same to Mulligan.

Jake says he and Damien will always be at the top of the food chain.

Jake Roberts vs. King Kong Bundy

Roberts tries to work on the arm to start and Bundy runs from the snake bag. Things settle back down with Bundy going to a standing armbar but Jake kicks the knee out to escape. Bundy goes to a test of strength and easily takes the Snake down for some near falls, only to have Jake go right back to the knee to get out again. A front facelock has a more lasting effect on Roberts but Jake slithers out and drills Bundy with a knee lift.

Rating: C. This was much better than I was expecting until the fairly lame ending. Jake was so smart in the ring and even acted like a snake, right down to the slithering around. I was surprised by how good the chemistry was here, especially when the match was looking like a filler.

We see crooked referee Danny Davis costing the British Bulldogs the Tag Team Titles back in January.

The Hart Foundation introduces Danny Davis as their official ringside observer, whatever that means.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Dan Spivey/Tito Santana

The Harts are defending and Davis cost Santana his Intercontinental Title over a year ago in another questionable decision. Spivey is a tall guy who looks a lot like Barry Windham (so much that he replaced Windham when he left the US Express). He takes Neidhart down with a headlock to start but a big clothesline drops Spivey right back. Off to Bret vs. Santana, which should be awesome.

Bret misses a charge into Neidhart, allowing Tito to come in off the real hot tag. Santana cleans house with his flying forearm to both Harts before putting Bret in the Figure Four. The other two are still fighting though, allowing Davis to nail Santana with the megaphone to give Bret the pin.

Ricky Steamboat says his fire is getting hotter and hotter, even if people go after his injured throat.

Iron Sheik vs. Ricky Steamboat

Savage and Steamboat yell at each other.

The standard recap ends the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009: The Night Of Too Many Triple Threats

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. The extended clips stop at 1990 though.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

On the other side you have four World Champions and Drew McIntyre (later known as Drew Galloway in TNA). Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre (a Scottish wrestler with a lot of potential) has only been around for about three months and Sheamus (an Irish brawler) has only been on Raw less than a month.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig neck snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, capped off by a Boom Drop through a table.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho misses a charge and Undertaker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Undertaker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Undertaker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit and claim to be the future. Eh kind of.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Batista liked hurting Rey.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2008: Down Goes Canada

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

Shawn and JBL are feuding over Shawn being broke and needing money form JBL, Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG, two thug characters) are feuding with Miz and Morrison, Kane has been hunting Mysterio and Khali and MVP (in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and the US Title) are there to fill out the lineups. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Smackdown: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object, ending any drug speculation.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away slowly.

Batista immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vladimir sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Mixed Match Challenge – November 6, 2018: I Hate This Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Mixed Match Challenge
Date: November 6, 2018
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Renee Young

The series that never ends continues with the British edition. This show is really is really starting to feel the weight of its fourteen week schedule and that’s becoming a major problem. The issue is the lack of any real drama to most of the matches, plus the formula the show has settle into using every single week. I would say I have hope but that’s just not the case. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Raw Division: Mickie James/Bobby Lashley (2-0) vs. Finn Balor/Bayley (2-1)

There is something to be said about how straight to the point this show is. The women start and the British fans are all over singing to Bayley. Finn pays cheerleader as Bayley fights off a wristlock and gets two off a rollup. It’s off to the guys because we haven’t seen these two fight enough. Lashley poses a lot and Balor goes to do the same (to be fair, he could give Lashley some competition) but gets pulled off the ropes.

After a look at Naomi and Jimmy Uso in the back, we come back to Lashley holding a nerve hold. Balor fights up and sends him chest first into the buckle and the tag brings the women back in. Mickie cuts off a charging Bayley with a superkick as everything breaks down. The Sling Blade drops Lashley but Balor makes the mistake of going after Rush, allowing Lashley to shove him off the top. The MickDT finishes Bayley at 8:43.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here with the expected ending, though it’s a nice treat anytime you can have Mickie out there showing off. It’s better to have Bayley take the fall here as she doesn’t have anything important going on and Balor already lost to Lashley once this week. It was nice to have them play one of these straight for once too, which you don’t get around here very often.

In the back, Lashley and Mickie aren’t worried about the battle of the undefeateds with Ember Moon and Braun Strowman next week.

Smackdown Division: Jimmy Uso/Naomi (1-2) vs. R-Truth/Carmella (0-2)

The guys start and that means dancing. A lockup goes nowhere so the women come in to dance some more. That’s enough of that though so let’s have a rap battle instead. Truth is of course very good at it and Naomi isn’t half bad either. Jimmy says a little bit as well and then, you guessed it, DANCE BREAK! Carmella uses said break to superkick Naomi down and grab a chinlock, followed by one heck of a spinning headscissors. Naomi hits a quick kick to the head for the pin at 5:01. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: N/A. Yeah I know it’s long enough but come on. The rapping/dancing was more than half of what was already a short match and that’s not something I’m going to rate. This was the same thing we’ve seen time after time around here, because if there’s one thing WWE knows how to do, it’s take something fun like Truth and Carmella and beat it into the ground.

Charlotte and AJ Styles are ready for their battle of the undefeateds with Miz and Asuka.

Miz and Asuka say the same thing.

Everyone dances, because wins and losses mean nothing on this show.

Overall Rating: F. I’m so sick of this stupid show. Next week sounds a little more promising with the four undefeated teams fighting, but there are still five more weeks of this mess to go. I didn’t think it was possible but they’ve managed to ruin what should be the easiest, most entertaining shows of the week. That takes talent and WWE pulled it off. Another waste of time this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – November 8, 2018: One Up, The Other Way Down

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 8, 2018
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

It’s a big show this week with Final Hour, which includes World Champion Johnny Impact defending the title against Killer Kross. That could make for an interesting match as Kross has been the unstoppable monster and is getting a pretty early title shot. It’s hard to say what else we could see tonight and that makes things interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video focuses on the title match, with Impact talking about how scary Kross is and Kross saying he just wants to hurt Impact. Makes sense from both sides.

Opening sequence.

OGz vs. Lucha Bros

They start shoving each other before the bell and it’s Fenix starting with Hernandez as Homicide and Pentagon slug it out on the floor. A big shoulder drops Fenix, leaving Homicide trying to stab Pentagon with a fork. Hernandez gets two off a backbreaker to Pentagon and it’s time to crank on the neck. Some superkicks get Pentagon out of trouble but King breaks up a springboard. That just means Fenix has to dive onto Pentagon, King and Homicide so Hernandez adds a big dive of his own.

Back in and Homicide rolls Fenix with some suplexes before handing it over to Hernandez for a sitout powerbomb. Everything stays broken down as Pentagon comes back in for a kick to Hernandez, followed by What’s Up to Homicide (with a double stomp instead of a headbutt). More superkicks set up a splash for two on Hernandez so King throws in his slap jack. That goes nowhere either and with Homicide knocked off the apron, it’s an Alberto double stomp into the Swanton. Pentagon adds a top rope double stomp and the wheelbarrow slam into a splash finishes Hernandez at 7:21.

Rating: B-. Geez do you think they did enough to Hernandez at the end? The Lucha Bros are crazy good and a match against LAX, which almost has to be coming, where they let it all just hang out sounds incredible. Just let them have the kind of match that only they can and it’s going to be awesome.

Post match Konnan congratulates the Bros on their win when LAX comes up and gets invited to a victory party. Oh this is going to be awesome.

Katarina vs. Jordynne Grace

Jordynne is making her debut and is rather thick, with some incredibly large thighs (Not overweight by any means. It’s muscle and she looks incredibly strong.). Katarina hammers away in the corner and chokes with the long leg but Grace slams her off the top. The sunset flip is blocked but Grace’s right hand only hits the mat. Grace is right back up with alternating forearms to the chest and back until Katarina hits a springboard tornado DDT. That’s only good for two and Grace slaps on a bearhug to make Katarina tap at 2:35.

Grace looked good for a power wrestler, but Katarina got in more offense than she should have. This should have been more of a squash rather than Katarina beating her up until Grace caught her with a hold for the win. That being said, the bearhug looked good and could work for a solid finisher.

Brian Cage arrives at Rock Star Pro Wrestling in Dayton, Ohio and wants Sami Callihan. After a break, Cage comes into the ring and calls Callihan out for a fight. He’ll even put the title on the line right now.

X-Division Title: Brian Cage vs. Sami Callihan

Cage is defending and starts fast with the rapid fire clotheslines in the corner. Callihan sends him to the apron though and nails a springboard clothesline to knock Cage outside. That’s fine with Cage, who powerbombs Callihan into the post and then throws him into the crowd. Back in and Cage counters the Cactus Piledriver with a sitout Alabama Slam, drawing in the Crists for the DQ at 2:23.

Post match Cage German suplexes both Crists at the same time. Some other wrestlers from the promotion run in and get dropped as well. Six guys get together and hold Cage in place for a belt shot from Callihan. The big beatdown is on with everyone hitting something to a huge face reaction. Sami caps it off with the Cactus Piledriver. Good segment here with Sami’s cult idea working far better in his own promotion.

Taya Valkyrie says we’ve seen the real Tessa Blanchard, who knows she’s a beaten woman. She’s coming for the title and Tessa can step up anytime.

Classic Clip of the Week: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Naruki Doi/Masato Yoshino from Impact in 2008.

Moose is ready to destroy Eddie Edwards because Eddie used to be his brother. Tonight, he’s going to destroy Eddie and be done with this. Kross is ready to huge Impact and become the new champion.

We see more fan auditions for Scarlett Bordeaux’s talent search. Yeah.

Fallah Bahh and KM come to see Scarlett and want to be at the front of the line for the talent search. She’s not impressed, even by Bahh’s dancing. Next week, they’re going to Las Vegas and maybe they can win her something and get lucky.

Moose vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie hits a suicide dive and then a slingshot dive to take Moose out before the bell. They head inside with Moose running right back to the floor for another suicide dive. Eddie throws a bucket of beer at Moose’s head but Moose kicks him low on the way back in. Moose stomps away on the floor and catapults him face first into the bottom of the ring. Since that’s not enough, Moose puts the bucket on Eddie’s head for a bicycle kick and Eddie is in even more trouble.

They head inside for the opening bell and Moose rips at Eddie’s face. Eddie gets up (not a fan of having his face ripped it seems) and hits a suplex but gets dropkicked off the top, right back to the floor. Moose misses a charge at the post though and Eddie wraps the leg around the steel. Back in and Eddie gets two off the Blue Thunder Bomb before putting Moose on top, only to get caught in a top rope chokebomb.

Somehow that only gets two but Eddie is right back with a spear. The tiger driver gets two more but Moose plants him with a spinebuster to send us to a break. Back with the slugout and Eddie telling Moose to hit him harder. The chop exchange goes back and forth and they trade running shots to the face until Eddie scores with a lariat.

Eddie is down as well though and has to pull himself up, allowing Moose to powerbomb him over the ropes and onto the ramp. Alisha Edwards comes out to check on Eddie, who somehow gets up. Back in and Moose hits the No Jackhammer Needed spear (clever, though I’m not sure if it’s necessary) for the pin at 15:35.

Rating: B-. They were a few steps away from hitting a great match but it didn’t quite connect. It felt like they needed to have a big fight that got thrown out and then needed to do the big hardcore brawl, but instead they went with a weird combination of both. Still though, entertaining enough and Alisha coming in was a nice touch. There will probably be more of this and that’s a good thing.

Allie runs into James Mitchell in a stairwell where he tells her that she has to fulfill her half of the deal. He’s been in her place before and she just has to embrace the darkness. Mitchell extends his hand but Kiera Hogan runs in to say no. Allie agrees to go with him to save her friends. Su Yung appears as well and Allie leaves with them.

Eddie has a concussion but wants to go fight Moose again anyway.

Here are Eli Drake and Joseph Park to discuss their lawsuit against the company. Eli isn’t happy with the new generation who thinks they can get in the ring for thinks like death matches. He’s the last of a dying breed so this company is trying to hold him down. The Open Challenge is dead and now he’s suing the company. Park explains things and explains that this is an unsafe working environment. He lists off some issues at Bound For Glory and says there are some others who are joining the lawsuit.

Drake jumps him from behind and stomps away while shouting about Park ruining the business, just like Abyss. A bunch of chair shots leave Park laying and Drake chokes him with the coat. I know I’ve asked this before but I still need an explanation: are we supposed to forget that Abyss was unmasked as Park? Drake seems to be the only person who acknowledges that Abyss and Park are the same person and it can get a little confusing. Anyway, Drake getting a push out of this is a good thing.

Impact says if Kross wanted a title shot, he just had to ask. His calling card is Starship Pain.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Killer Kross vs. Johnny Impact

Impact is defending and Moose is here with Kross. Johnny starts fast and goes up but has to wait on a Moose distraction. That means an early ejection so it’s a slugout with Johnny actually getting the better of things. A charge in the corner is swatted away though and Kross starts in on the knee. There’s a dragon screw legwhip to stay on the leg but Impact counters what looks like a powerslam into a tornado DDT which is reversed into a northern lights suplex. A Shining Wizard staggers Kross and a piledriver gives Impact two. The neck work continues with a DDT and the Moonlight Drive for two more.

They head up the ramp with Kross taking over and hitting a Razor’s Edge over the top rope and back inside. A Liontamer without enough cranking has Johnny going to the ropes and he’s able to kick Kross to the apron. Countdown to Impact gets two but Kross is right back up with a gutwrench powerbomb. The Krossjacket choke is escaped and Impact hits a superkick. There’s a hurricanrana into the corner and Starship Pain retains the title at 12:09.

Rating: C. Well so much for Kross as the big monster. He came in a few months ago and was no selling shots from a former World Champion and now he loses completely clean in twelve minutes. It’s good for Impact to get a win like this, but Kross lost a lot more than Impact gained. It wasn’t even a great match as Impact went move for move with him, taking away a lot of the drama and build that they could have had.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty good show for the most part, though the main event left a lot to be desired. I have no idea why this needed to be billed as a special as the first hour was nothing that you wouldn’t see on any other given week. LAX vs. the Lucha Bros sounds outstanding though and if they build that up well, we’re in for quite the feud. It’s an entertaining show and it flew by, but they have to do something about this time slot. Finishing at midnight on a week night isn’t going to work, no matter what you’re putting on.

Results

Lucha Bros b. OGz – Wheelbarrow splash to Hernandez

Jordynne Grace b. Katarina – Bearhug

Brian Cage b. Sami Callihan via DQ when the Crist Brothers interfered

Moose b. Eddie Edwards – No Jackhammer Needed spear

Johnny Impact b. Killer Kross – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 28, 1994: Wake Up Already

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 28, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette

We’re still in the aftermath of Wrestlemania X and things almost have to be better this time around than they were last week. Granted I’ve said that before but it hasn’t been the case yet. The big match for the week is Lex Luger vs. Rick Martel so my hopes aren’t exactly at their highest. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Earlier today, Ted DiBiase bought some front row seats from fans for $100 each. Not the worst deal in the world when you’re a third of the way through the tapings.

Opening sequence.

Rick Martel vs. Lex Luger

Cornette goes into a rant about his microphone not working, somehow making that entertaining as well. Martel starts by hiding in the corner with Cornette saying that Luger is such a typical American. The threat of a right hand sends Martel running again (Dude, not in the face!) so Liger goes with a hiptoss instead, this time with Martel bailing to the floor. We look at the commentary table and it turns out that DiBiase is sitting behind them, counting his money of course. That’s the kind of thing that made him work so well and still does all these years later.

Lex’s headlock takeover as Cornette goes into a rant about how awesome the University of Louisville basketball team is this year. Well to be fair he’s supposed to be a heel. Martel fights up and is almost immediately headlocked right back down. Back up again and Martel gets knocked outside as we take a break. We come back with Martel getting in some kicks to the ribs in the corner and scoring off a clothesline.

The chinlock goes on because we haven’t spent enough time in a hold on the mat. Thankfully it doesn’t last as long….and Martel puts it right back on. Well of course he does. A snap off the ropes sets up the third chinlock as Vince says Cornette should have been the guest referee at Wrestlemania. That might have been even more perfect, just for the comedy alone.

Martel finally goes up but dives into a shot to the ribs. Luger tries a dropkick (!) but Martel grabs the rope and Luger crashes, mainly because HE HAS NO BUSINESS TRYING A DROPKICK. A suplex doesn’t get Luger very far due to his back so he goes with the right hands instead. The powerslam sets up the Rack to finish Martel.

Rating: D-. I know older wrestlers say there’s too much action today but then you have matches like this, with nearly half of the action on TV being spent in headlocks and chinlocks. You can call it psychology or whatever you want, but that’s not interesting to see or advancing any kind of a story. It’s laying on the mat and acting like it’s worthwhile. Once every now and then is fine but over and over is ridiculous.

Owen Hart says he can beat anyone.

Owen Hart vs. Mike Freeman

Yeah I’d say he’s included on that anyone list. The fans want Bret but we cut to DiBiase saying everyone has a price. Tonight he bought these three seats, but he’s got some surprises coming in the next few weeks. Back in the ring, Owen finally chokes Freeman on the ropes a bit and throws him down by the hair. That’s rather heelish of him.

Vince compares Wrestlemania to the Super Bowl and the boxing pay per views (ok fair enough in some cases) and Owen takes him down by the arm. A dropkick keeps Freeman in trouble as they’re taking their time with the squash here. Freeman charges into a boot in the corner and the Sharpshooter finishes him off.

Rating: D. A bit longer than it needed to be but the point was getting Owen on the show, which is the right idea after he beat Bret so recently. Just keeping him on TV makes sense, as you can tell he’s going to be in the World Title picture rather soon. Freeman was a pretty lame jobber though, as he was just kind of there without putting up even a token opposition. At least put in some effort.

Doink the Clown vs. Eric Cody

Doink squirts DiBiase with a flower on his way to the ring for a funny reaction. Cody is sent outside to start as this whole wrestling things seems to frustrate him. Cornette goes on an anti-New York rant as Vince wishes Reba McIntyre a happy birthday. Somehow they talk about her singing a song about Wrestlemania but don’t mention her singing America the Beautiful back at Wrestlemania VIII.

Doink pulls Cody down by the arm and Dink runs in to step on Cody’s chest. Cornette: “I can whip any midget and anyone under the age of 12!” Cody isn’t happy (as he shouldn’t be, as most clowns aren’t funny) so Doink takes the unhappy man down into an armbar. The Whoopee Cushion puts him out of his misery.

Rating: D. Face Doink was just such a mess as they went with the comedy instead of something interesting. To be fair though, you kind of knew that was where they were going at some point. Cornette was hilarious here though, with him going into the ranting and raving as only he could do. Well he and Bobby Heenan but that goes without saying.

Cornette brings in the Quebecers and Johnny Polo for a chat. Last week they were challenged by Captain Lou Albano….and here he is pretty soon after the champs arrive. Jacques: “What do you want Captain Crunch?” The challenge is accepted and Albano has a team. He leaves and comes back with the Headshrinkers and Afa, sending Johnny into a frenzy. Johnny: “Not those guys! They could beat us!”

The Quebecers were thinking more along the line of Men on a Mission or the Bushwhackers and Albano threatens them with the wrath of Jack Tunney if they don’t accept. More on this later, but the Headshrinkers are a good team so this should be fine. If nothing else, I’d pay to hear Polo and Albano yell at each other for ten minutes a week.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Black Phantom

The Phantom is masked and would be better known as Gangrel. Kid works a headlock to start but gets hiptossed for a break. The announcers talk about Rush Limbaugh’s salary as Kid snapmares him down for the running legdrop. The spinwheel kick gets two and the top rope spinning crossbody finishes the Phantom in a hurry.

Crush vs. Ray Hudson

Nikolai Volkoff is in the front row in his brown suit. Cornette spends the time quoting the Rolling Stones as Crush slowly chops away. A neck snap and a superkick allow Crush to strike some martial arts poses. There’s a gorilla press and a knee drop for the pin. For Crush that is.

Rating: D. Another boring squash in a series of them after Wrestlemania. Crush’s martial arts poses were the most entertaining things about the match, assuming you don’t include the Stones stuff. After the Savage loss, there wasn’t much left for Crush to do as he was really just a big lackey.

A highlight package takes us out. Did something just go short?

Overall Rating: D-. Egads they’re in a bad funk as the only good thing to be seen was Owen winning to continue his momentum. In theory they’re just waiting for the big stuff to happen but that doesn’t seem to be the case anytime soon. I’m guess Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon are just getting a night off after the big ladder match, but you can really feel their absences.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 21, 1994: It’s Like The 80s Exploded. And It’s Bad.

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

It’s the night after Wrestlemania X and that means Bret Hart is the WWF World Champion again but his brother Owen is waiting on him. Owen pinned Bret completely clean last night, setting him up as the almost automatic #1 contender to the title. That could make for a very fun spring and summer so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Vince and Randy run down some of the card, including a Bret appearance. As it should be on the night after Wrestlemania.

Quebecers vs. Bushwhackers

Non-title and the first match after Wrestlemania. You know, because reasons. The Bushwhackers jump them while Johnny Polo is still conducting the theme song, giving us the required funny face. There’s a little too much whacking going on though as the Quebecers jump them from behind, only to have the Bushwhackers bite them on the pants. A pair of double clotheslines puts Jacques on the floor and Pierre down as we’re still waiting on any kind of tag match to break out.

Butch hits Luke by mistake as Vince apologizes for the ten man tag being cut due to time last night. Pierre hits Polo by mistake as well as things finally start to settle down to Butch headlocking Jacques. Luke comes in to do the same and it’s off to a quickly broken chinlock. A tag brings in Pierre, who gets pulled down in all of a few seconds so we take a break.

Rating: D-. I was a big Bushwhackers fan back in the day but my goodness this was a chore to sit through. It’s kind of hard to get interested in one of their matches in 1994, especially against the Tag Team Champions. The ending wasn’t even anything special and it felt like it went on forever. The tag division was such a mess at this point and the Bushwhackers being the best option is all the proof you need.

Post match Polo says they can beat anyone so Captain Lou Albano comes out to issue a challenge for the titles from a mystery team. Sure, why not. Oh come on Johnny, act as smart as you are.

IRS gives us some reasons why people are tax cheats, such as they like to watch the national debt rise.

Tatanka vs. Chris Hamrick

Hamrick is semi-famous from the last few months of ECW. The announcers waste no time on getting into the news jokes of the week. Tatanka backdrops Hamrick to start and sends him into the corner for some chops. Hamrick gets sent outside for a crash and then gets pulled back in. Make up your mind Tatanka.

A suplex and powerslam connect as Vince talks about Michael Jordan playing baseball. Tatanka works on the arm because this just hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Some right hands give Hamrick some hope until he misses a charge in the corner, meaning it’s time to hit the warpath. The Papoose To Go finally finishes Hamrick.

Rating: D. Well, at least it was a little bit shorter. Tatanka seems to be ready for a push around this point, which is a little surprising after he already lost his undefeated streak last year. This was a pretty dull match and the commentators’ jokes didn’t exactly make things any better. But what else were they supposed to talk about?

Wrestlemania Report, again looking at the celebrities and the upcoming reairing.

Diesel vs. Ken Lucia

Joined in progress with Diesel hitting a flying clothesline (a big spot for him) and putting on a neck crank. The good looking side slam plants Lucia and it’s a Jackknife for the pin with one foot on the chest. Total squash, as it should have been.

Next week: Lex Luger vs. Rick Martel. Egads it’s almost hard to watch how far Luger fell.

Here’s Bret Hart for his first chat as champion. Vince recaps how he won the title and Bret admits that things didn’t start well yesterday but they certainly ended great. He’ll fight anyone, anywhere anytime, including Yokozuna. Ever the buzzkill, Vince brings up the loss to Owen but Bret has no excuses. It was just one match but Owen won it fair and square. Things are a bit different now because Bret has the title, which sounds like he’s up for a rematch.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Koko B. Ware

Normally I’d make fun of this for being the post Wrestlemania main event but they’re both in the Hall of Fame. An early hiptoss puts Koko down and Jeff is able to have a rest on the top. The fear of Koko flapping his arms (like a bird you see) sends Jeff bailing out to the floor. Back in and Jeff is smart enough (he is known to point at his head) to avoid a charge in the corner and a dropkick has Koko in more trouble. A suplex and clothesline drop Koko again but he avoids a middle rope elbow and starts the comeback. Koko hits an elbow for two and is almost immediately DDT’d for the pin.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting? Jarrett was hardly interesting in the first place and now you put him in there against Koko B. Ware? The country music thing wasn’t working and I think everyone knew it but that didn’t stop them from running with the exact same idea for YEARS. Oddly enough, it never actually worked. Who would have seen that coming?

Post match Jarrett gets in Jarrett’s face and it’s almost time to fight, complete with Savage waving his fists around like an 1890s boxing parody. Randy grabs for his foot and then gets inside for some right hands, sending Jeff running. Koko’s music plays and it’s so odd to see Randy celebrating to that song.

Ads for WWF Greetings On Call, where a wrestler can call and say something like Happy Birthday, Get Well or something similar. A video version of that could make a rather tidy sum today.

A quick preview of next week’s show wraps us up.

Overall Rating: F+. So the best things about this were…..I guess Diesel’s squash and Bret’s promo? If that’s all you have going for you on what should be on a pretty eventful show, you’re kind of in trouble. I know the Raw after Wrestlemania wasn’t quite the big thing that it would become but egads man. Could you give us something other than the Bushwhackers, Koko B. Ware and Michael Jordan jokes?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 7, 1994: The March In March

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

We’re coming up on Wrestlemania X and that means things are starting to come together. The Hart Brothers are still at it but Bret and Lex Luger are both after the WWF World Title. It’s one of the best pay per views ever so it should be interesting to see to see how we get there. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of Randy Savage vs. Crush, the latter of whom teams up with Owen Hart to face the Smoking Gunns.

Opening sequence.

Ted DiBiase comes out for commentary and we run down the card.

Smoking Gunns vs. Crush/Owen Hart

They’re starting big this week. The fans are all over the villains here, so at least they’re doing their jobs. Nikolai Volkoff is in the front row as part of a story that would get rather dumb, mainly because it involves Volkoff in 1994. Owen goes outside to break some Bret Hart glasses and we’re ready to go. Bart and Owen exchange shoves and a hiptoss takes Hart down. It’s already off to Crush, who is greeted by the USA chants because the fans aren’t that bright.

Some shots to the back just send Bart up top for a spinning high crossbody and the tag brings in Billy. Crush, likely annoyed at….whatever is likely annoying him at the moment, throws Billy into the corner and hands it off to Owen. Just like earlier, this doesn’t go quite so well until a cheap shot from the apron lets him get in a suplex. The fans want Bret (I thought they were all about the USA) but have to settle for Crush hammering away at Billy in the corner as he ignores a tag request from Owen.

A side slam gets two and now it’s off to Owen for the always good looking missile dropkick as we take a break. Back with the hot tag bringing Bart back in for the backdrop on Owen and a right hand on Crush. Bart’s powerslam gets two as everything breaks down. Crush chop blocks Bart to break up what looks like a powerbomb and Owens slaps on the Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all here as two of the biggest heels in the company at the moment get to beat a good team to really make them look better. The Gunns were scheduled for a ten man tag at Wrestlemania but really, it’s not like the match was going to mean anything in the first place. This was fine for what it needed to accomplish

Post match Owen asks Crush to save a little piece of Bret during their match at Sunday’s March to Wrestlemania. Crush says okey dokey.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report with Todd Pettengill with a focus on the celebrities. The matches get some attention as well, though I’m not sure why Todd thinks the mixed tag is mysterious.

Virgil vs. Jeff Jarrett

DiBiase isn’t exactly happy to see Virgil, who chases Jarrett into the ropes to start. A shoulder works a bit better for Jarrett but he gets taken down into a hammerlock. An armdrag sets up another hammerlock as the announcers make fun of the White House communications director. Virgil hits an atomic drop, which Vince calls a reverse piledriver. As I try to figure that out, Jeff grabs a DDT for the sudden pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here, though listening to DiBiase rip on Virgil three years after their split is still funny. Jarrett was still figuring things out at the moment in the WWF, which he never really pulled off. Virgil has to be about done with the company, though who would notice if he was gone?

Jeff Jarrett is on the cover of a country music magazine so Vince accuses DiBiase and Jarrett of being involved in fraud. Ok then.

The President of the Hair Club for Men is the official Wrestlemania hair consultant so we see what Mr. Fuji would look like with hair. Clara Peller was a better celebrity than this.

Doink the Clown vs. Mike Sharpe

Sharpe chases after Dink to start and gets kicked down. A shoulder lets Sharpe point at his head so Doink dropkicks him to scramble said huge brains. Some choking on the ropes slow Dink down as Vince manages to go on with one sentence about Wrestlemania for about a minute straight. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) finishes Sharpe.

Chief Jay Strongbow and Chief Wahoo McDaniel and an actual Native American chief are in the ring to present Tatanka with an actual headdress. It’s kind of a cool moment and Tatanka gives a nice speech about respecting his ancestors and the men next to him. Strongbow says he’s proud of him and McDaniel (not McDaniels) says full steam ahead as Tatanka is actually crying as he has the headdress put on.

IRS vs. Mark Thomas

Before the match, IRS says Tatanka owes a gift tax on that headdress. Thomas has been around here before and is jacked. Vince takes this opportunity to talk about Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott and various other baseball stories. I don’t know if Vince wants to be a talk show host or what but this is really stupid. IRS takes him down with a snapmare but misses a charge into the corner so Thomas can roll him up for two.

That’s about it for Thomas’ offense as IRS slaps on an abdominal stretch. DiBiase: “I taught him everything I know.” IRS grabs the ropes, making DiBiase affirm that he did in fact teach IRS everything he knows. Now it’s time to work on the leg for a bit, followed by the jumping clothesline to finish Thomas. IRS is drenched in sweat after the match, likely because he wrestles in business attire.

Rating: D-. What else were you expecting here? IRS just wasn’t that good in the ring (fine, but not good) and watching him work a squash isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. At least they didn’t stay out there that long and beating someone who looked like Thomas was better than the usual schlubs that served as jobbers a lot of the time.

Jim Cornette and the Heavenly Bodies come out to rant about how Japanese cars are better than American cars to hype up Jimmy Del Ray vs. Lex Luger at the March to Wrestlemania. Speaking of Wrestlemania, Luger is only going to wrestle once at Wrestlemania and he’s losing to Yokozuna. As for Sunday and Del Ray, Cornette: “Luger, he’s going to hit you from so many different directions that you’re going to think you’re in a pinball machine and he just got an extra ball.” WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???

Overall Rating: C-. The featured match being watchable is about as good as you can get around here and the rest of the show was only somewhat bad. Wrestlemania X is a special show and the build to it feels a little different as well. This wasn’t a great show and could have used more Bret, but at least what we got was pretty acceptable.

I’m not doing March to Wrestlemania and there’s no show on March 14 so the next episode is March 21.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


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http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6