It’s that time of year again. The Wrestlemania Count-Up begins this Tuesday and I’ll be redoing both Wrestlemania XXXIII and one more that you all get to vote on. You can list your votes in the comments with the following being out of the running (due to being done recently):
XXXIII
XXXII
XIX
XXVIII
Any of the other 29 editions are available though.
IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling
Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt
It’s the week before the big Crossroads show and that means it’s time to build things up a bit. Next week’s main event will see Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact in what could be an awesome match. Other than that though we’re likely in for more build towards Abyss vs. Kongo Kong, because that’s what we need to see. Let’s get to it.
Need a recap? Here’s last week’s review.
The opening video looks at Ethan Carter III and Tyrus reuniting and then splitting up in very short order. That’s the smart move considering Carter is leaving.
Opening sequence.
Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus
Carter runs his mouth (as is his custom) and is promptly shoved out to the floor. Back in and Carter gets shoved outside again as Josh talks about all the other companies they’ll be visiting soon. Carter stalls a lot, including messing with a fan’s phone, before going back in to have his arm cranked.
Chops and running clotheslines have no effect on Tyrus and it’s Carter being crushed in the corner. A charge misses though and Carter gets in a few shots to the back. Carter’s middle rope ax handle drops Tyrus and we hit the cravate. Tyrus shrugs it off and hits a corner splash before hitting his own 1%er. The Tongan Death Grip slam is enough to end Carter at 8:13.
Rating: D+. Assuming this is it for Carter, I’ll give this one a break with him leaving the company for blacker and yellower pastures. It’s certainly a better way to have him go out than having Dixie Carter grab his foot and beg him to stay. I’m not sure on Tyrus being the one to get the rub but it’s better than having Carter just leave.
Joseph Park is going to fight Kongo Kong tonight on his own, but neither he nor his family seems to give him much of a chance.
OVE and Sami Callihan say this is no longer fun and games. Violence takes place tonight.
Josh and Sonjay are in a studio to preview the rest of the show. Better than them saying they’re ringside every week.
El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter
Hijo’s Latin American Championship isn’t on the line and there’s no entrance for Sutter. Hijo shoulders him down to start as Josh plugs the network, featuring a bunch of names that aren’t around anymore. Some clotheslines put Fantasma down for two but the chinlock doesn’t last very long. A backbreaker gives Fantasma two and a jumping superkick puts Sutter on the floor for the hard suicide dive. Back in and Sutter powerbombs him for two with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Fantasma’s Thrill of the Hunt (Samoan Driver) is good for the pin at 5:14.
Rating: C-. This felt like angle advancement more than anything else as Fantasma is now a big deal around here because he’s a big deal in AAA. Sutter on the other hand….what happened? He and Allie should have been moved up several notches last year off the wedding angle but instead we’re here, seeing him losing in five minutes. I’m sure this was the best possible use for him though.
Post match Sutter yells about how Allie isn’t here because she ruins lives. He’s the biggest star in the company….and cue Brian Cage to wreck Sutter in short order.
Matt Sydal wants to share his spiritual adviser with the world.
Sydal is ready to win the X-Division Title next week but Taiji Ishimori comes in with his own scroll, asking if Sydal will make it title for title. No answer is given.
Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park
Park goes after him but gets dropped with a single shot to the chest. Kong hammers away in the corner and Park’s headbutt knocks himself down. The top rope splash puts Park away at 2:14.
Post match Jimmy Jacobs gets in while Kong chokes Park. They still want Abyss and this is just getting started.
The Cult of Lee is having a party when the Mumbai Cats come in. After making fun of the masked men and not letting them have a drink, Konnan comes in to wonder why the Cult of Lee isn’t doing cartwheels in Wonder Woman bikinis. They say Konnan is here before and if you don’t know what’s coming, you haven’t been watching wrestling long. LAX throws Lee and Konley into the pool.
Alberto El Patron should be #1 contender. Well to be fair he hasn’t had a World Title match in like two weeks at this point.
Rosemary vs. Hania
Rosemary wastes no time in hammering away at the chest and gets two off a clothesline. A very early Red Wedding attempt is broken up but Rosemary is right back up with her figure four neck lock over the ropes. Hania gets dropped with a dropkick and a t-bone suplex for two. A spear into the Red Wedding is good for the pin on Hania at 3:13. Total squash.
Rating: D. Odds are that’s it for Hania and other than a look, I’m not sure what else she had to offer. This was complete destruction with Hania getting in absolutely nothing, which should tell you that she’s either done or not exactly thought of in the first place. Rosemary getting back towards the title is a good idea though and she should be going after the title in short order.
Post match Rosemary says Hania was just a puppy and now it’s time to bring the Knockouts Title back to the shadow. Rosemary dubs herself the Alpha B**** but here’s the returning Taya Valkyrie to disagree. Taya says the only truth in that is the B**** part but it should be Taya’s, not Alpha. They both go to the apron but Taya jumps her from behind. The Road to Valhalla on the ramp drops Rosemary.
This week’s classic clip: Eddie Edwards wins the World Title from Bobby Lashley.
We get a somewhat creepy video on Laurel Van Ness’ rocky road, including her near wedding to Braxton Sutter, going crazy, nearly marrying Grado, and now her commitment ceremony to the Knockouts Title.
KM, the minister for the ceremony, brings the title, with a bow tie, to the ring. Laurel comes out in a dress with the lipstick being all over the place as usual. She wants him to get to the good part, meaning the objections. Cue Braxton, now in a neck brace, to interrupt. He was dropped on his head earlier and Laurel flashed before his eyes. A year ago, he made a huge mistake when he left her at the altar. He proposes, but she screams NO over and over. KM: “EPIC FAIL BRO!” Laurel asks for more objections and even shouts a request for them. Cue Allie, in a black body suit which isn’t really necessary as she’s sneaking in, to jump Laurel and ruin the ceremony.
The announcers preview next week’s show.
Video on Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact for the World Title next week.
Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards
Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive five seconds in but Sami rolls back in to hit one of his own eleven seconds in. Eddie hits another though and we get to thirty seconds on the replays. Some chops rock Sami and OVE is ejected for a distraction. Sami gets in an apron kick to the face though and we take a break. Back with Eddie fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away, but getting caught in a piledriver on the apron. Since this is a regular TV match though, Sami doesn’t even bother to cover.
Eddie fights out of something like a standing Crossface and kicks Sami in the face to catch him on top. A superplex brings Sami back down for no cover as Eddie can’t follow up. The Backpack Stunner gets two but Sami is right back with the running knee in the corner. A slingshot suplex neckbreaker gives Sami two and an exchange of kicks to the head puts both guys down. Sami loads up a powerbomb but Eddie backdrops into a cradle for the pin at 15:04.
Rating: C+. I liked this better than most Sami matches as it actually felt like a match. I’m still not sure why Sami and OVE are going after Lashley and Eddie but I’m guessing it’s something to do with the team being insane. Eddie winning makes sense as it’s not like a member of the team losing a singles match to a former World Champion is a huge blow.
Overall Rating: C. You can see where they’re going with a lot of stuff and they set up next week’s show well enough. The World Title match didn’t need a ton of hype as that’s big enough on its own standing. The wrestling wasn’t anything great here but at least we’re getting towards the big show. If that works, then this doesn’t matter nearly as much. Pretty standard buildup show here and I can settle for that.
Results
Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam
El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt
Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash
Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding
Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup
Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
IMG Credit: WWE
205 Live
Date: February 27, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness
It’s time for another round of the tournament as we’re in the final eight. This tournament has completely reinvigorated the show and actually made it fun to watch. That wasn’t the case for over a year but better late than never. Tonight we’ll have half of the semifinals set so let’s get to it.
And the show featuring this week’s quarterfinalists.
And the other show featuring this week’s quarterfinalists.
We open with a recap of last week’s first round matches. These quick recaps are really effective, especially since they don’t take up a bunch of time.
Opening sequence.
Cruiserweight Title Tournament Quarterfinals: TJP vs. Cedric Alexander
Both say they’re going to Wrestlemania and winning the title. The fans are behind the hometown boy in TJP as they hit the mat for a wrestling sequence. Back up and a flip off goes to Alexander, who counters TJP’s hurricanrana into a powerbomb for two. Back up and a headscissors takes Cedric down, meaning we can hit the dab. Cedric starts working on the arm with his feet on TJP’s face but a whip into the corner allows TJP to get in a boot to the head. A dropkick sends TJP outside but he’s back in fast enough to block the big flip dive.
Now it’s TJP’s turn to start in on the arm, sending Alexander straight to the ropes. Some kneedrops and a chinlock with an arm trap keep TJP in control. That’s not enough for him though as he grapevines the legs in a standing Indian deathlock but steps on Cedric’s head for a nice change of pace. The slingshot hilo bangs the ribs up a little bit more and it’s back to the chinlock. A good looking jumping back elbow to the jaw gets two on Cedric and it’s off to an abdominal stretch/octopus hold hybrid.
Cedric reverses a belly to back suplex into a crossbody and chills in the corner (where a turnbuckle pad is upside down). The Neuralizer gives Cedric two and the springboard Downward Spiral is good for the same. The Lumbar Check is reversed into the double chickenwing gutbuster to put Cedric down again. TJP dropkicks the knee out but Cedric kicks him in the….I think top of the head to knock TJP outside. Now the slingshot dive connects, only to bang up Cedric’s knee even more.
Back in and the knee gets hurt again and there’s the kneebar. Cedric’s crawl to the ropes is enough for the break so TJP settles for a rollup with trunks for two instead. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown. It’s TJP up first with the springboard forearm (no nipup due to exhaustion though) and the kneebar goes on again. Cedric rolls halfway around the ring for the break this time and it’s time for a strike off. TJP gets the better of it and tries the Detonation Kick but Cedric slips out and grabs the Lumbar Check to advance at 17:30.
Rating: B. They did a good job here with the more complete wrestler in TJP breaking Cedric down but Alexander just wasn’t going to be denied and had to hit his big move for the win. I didn’t buy the idea of Cedric tapping but there was a reason to believe that TJP, who is the master of these tournaments, could pin him instead. Good storytelling here and I was digging the match.
Drake Maverick talks about how important cruiserweights can be, especially with someone pointing them in the right direction. The last few weeks have been his vision for 205 Live.
Last week, Mustafa Ali was in the fight of his life but he looked at the Wrestlemania sign and kept going. Next week he faces the bigger and stronger Buddy Murphy, but Buddy isn’t strong enough to break him.
Buddy says if Mustafa thought he was in a fight last week, he has no idea what he’s in for next week.
Cruiserweight Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Kalisto vs. Roderick Strong
The winner gets Cedric in the semifinals. Roderick hammerlocks him to start and a wristlock puts Kalisto on the mat. Back up and a headscissors takes Strong down as Cedric is watching backstage. A backbreaker out of nowhere gives Roderick one but he gets hurricanranaed to the floor. Kalisto snaps off a big dive and dropkicks Strong underneath the ropes for good measure.
Strong is fast enough to send him into the apron though and a release suplex drops Kalisto on the announcers’ table as things get a lot more intense in a hurry. That actually draws the first 205 Live chant that I’ve heard in at least a year, so maybe there’s something to this new style. Back in and Strong stomps away but Kalisto is up at one. Another backbreaker gets another two and Strong, apparently a heel, mocks the Lucha Dance.
Strong tries a modified Gory Special but Kalisto armdrags his way out and hits the basement hurricanrana. Kalisto comes back with the usual and another basement hurricanrana gets two. The Salida Del Sol is broken up though and Strong grabs an Angle Slam for two of his own. A double underhook powerbomb is countered into a rollup to give Kalisto two and both guys are down again.
Kalisto catches Strong on top and stands up there with him, allowing Strong to pick him up for what looked like a slam. Instead Kalisto held on and rolled through to drop Strong though in a really unique looking spot (even Nigel said he had no idea what it was) for two. Strong finally knees him in the head though and another backbreaker sets up End of Heartache to end Kalisto at 11:42.
Rating: B-. Strong’s mid-match heel turn was a little weird but he’s one of those guys who can wrestle as a face or a heel just as well and Cedric needs a heel to face anyway. Beating Kalisto makes Strong look even better and now we should be in for a good match two weeks from now. Kalisto is going to be fine of course and it’s not like a loss here hurts him all that much. Good, but not as good as the opener.
Overall Rating: B+. Now that’s more like it. Just like this week’s Mixed Match Challenge (the other main roster tournament), things got a lot better once they got past the last first round matches. We’re into the matches between big names now and that makes for some very fun shows. This was about 45 minutes long and felt like half of that, which is some high praise for a WWE show anymore.
Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
IMG Credit: WWE
Mixed Match Challenge
Date: February 27, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Beth Phoenix
We’re officially into the second round in the second of three tournaments WWE is currently promoting at the moment. That means we have the first instance of some names coming back, which means we’re in for what could be some bigger matches. That being said, this will be the third time in two days that Miz and Finn Balor have faced each other in two days. Let’s get to it.
Here’s a look back at last week’s show.
Here’s the weekly discussion on how to enable comments.
Your weekly live chatters: Natalya and Shinsuke Nakamura.
Sasha Banks is ready to end Asuka’s streak and Finn Balor beat Miz tonight so he can do it again here.
Miz and Asuka debated (in different languages) who was responsible for the winning streak.
Quarterfinals: Finn Balor/Sasha Banks vs. The Miz/Asuka
The guys start with Miz hiding in the corner as only he could. Well ok so a lot of people could but Miz is going to do it more awesomely. He also grabs a mic and holds up his hand, demanding silence from the masses. The fans start completing his catchphrase and it’s Balor grabbing a small package for two. Asuka is so scared by the near fall that she volunteers to come in but Miz kicks Balor down.
Back up and a dropkick to Miz gets two more, drawing in Asuka for some shouting in Japanese. Balor gets kicked down and Miz does Sasha’s dance (Sasha: “DON’T YOU DO IT!”) but the YES Kicks are broken up. Asuka tags herself in and the fans seem rather interested in this one. A shoulder takes Sasha down and it’s time for a dance off. That goes nowhere so Asuka strikes away and hits the running hip attack.
Banks knocks away a kick but has to blocks the Asuka Lock. A suplex gives Banks two and we hit the chinlock. Back to back running knees in the corner drop Asuka again and Banks does her own version of the YES Kicks. That just earns her a knee to the face and it’s back to the men. Balor’s Eye of the Hurricane gets two as everything breaks down.
The women fight on the floor as the Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz two with Sasha making the save. Balor is back up with the shotgun dropkick and the Coup de Grace gets a near fall of its own. Banks gets the Bank Statement on Asuka as Balor has a Crossface on Miz. Both villains reverse, with Asuka getting the Lock on Banks for the tap but it’s the legal Miz rolling Balor up for the pin at 12:50.
Rating: C+. The wrestling was good enough here but there was also a good sense of the drama with Asuka wanting to save the streak. Banks wasn’t a big factor here, but no one bought that she was going to pin Asuka in a match like this. At least there was a story to go with the match, and that’s more than you get in some of these.
Braun Strowman and Alexa Bliss are ready to win next week.
Naomi and Jimmy Uso talk about glowing.
Overall Rating: C+. Now this was the fun show I was hoping for last week. The main thing here is we’re now into the important rounds and there’s a good chance that Balor and Banks will be the team voted back in as one of the semifinalists. Miz and Asuka are becoming more and more of a threat to win the whole thing and that makes for a promising final five weeks.
Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
IMG Credit: WWE
NXT
Date: February 28, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Mauro Ranallo
We’re still closing in on Takeover: New Orleans but this time we’ll be doing it without Johnny Gargano. Last week Gargano put his NXT career on the line for another shot at the NXT Title but former partner Tommaso Ciampa cost him the title with a crutch shot to the back. Now we need to figure out what’s going on in New Orleans so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s title match with Gargano and wife Candice LeRae stared back at the ring in sadness as Ciampa looked at them in contempt.
Opening sequence.
Velveteen Dream vs. Tyler Bate
This should be good. Dream crawls away in reverse and the fans are split, albeit more for Dream than Bate. Tyler puts on a short form clinic by sliding between Dream’s legs, jumping over him, and wristlocking Dream into a rollup for two. A dropkick has Dream livid on the floor as we take a break.
Back with Bate slipping out of a suplex but running into an elbow to the jaw. Dream gyrates a bit and grabs a reverse chinlock, followed by a reverse chinlock for good measure. Bate fights up and hits a running elbow in the corner for two as the pace picks up a bit. The airplane spin has Dream in trouble but he’s still able to elbow his way out of the reverse version.
The Tyler Driver 97 is countered with a backdrop and one heck of a spinning spinebuster gives Dream two. They slug it out from their knees with Bate getting the better of it but Dream sends him hard into the buckle. Dream goes to the top but gets crotched. Bate is shoved down anyway and the Purple Rainmaker is good for the pin at 12:08.
Rating: B-. Bate is settling into the role of the bulletproof wrestler, which is about as bad of a spot as you can get. I can’t remember the last time that he won a match and now he’s stuck losing over and over again. That being said, he’s still one of the most consistently strong performers around and it’s almost always a good performance. Dream is on another level than almost anyone else right now though and I’d be surprised if he isn’t NXT Champion by the end of the year.
Paul Ellering and the Authors of Pain want the Tag Team Titles back.
We see William Regal giving Gargano his termination papers, but Gargano will still be required to make media appearances and live events that he was already signed for. That sounds important. The referee admitted that he made a mistake and is sorry that he cost Gargano his career. Gargano seems to accept it.
Cezar Bononi vs. Adam Cole
Actually hang on a second as Cole grabs a mic and offers Bononi a spot on the team. O’Reilly throws him a shirt but it’s a ruse so Cole can stomp him down in the corner. Bononi is right back with a Michinoku Driver for two but another distraction lets Cole hit a superkick. A running knee to the back of the head ends Bononi at 2:55. Just a win to keep Cole hot until he gets a match at Takeover.
We recap Kairi Sane winning the Mae Young Classic by defeating Shayna Baszler, who has gone full villain since. Baszler has destroyed various people, typically by wrecking their arms. It seems that Baszler is on her way to the Women’s Title but Sane is trying to slow her down.
The Street Profits interview people about the upcoming Dusty Classic. The first round starts next week.
Kairi Sane vs. Shayna Baszler
Sane hammers away to start but Shayna takes her down by the leg. Kairi is sent to the apron and Baszler starts in on the ribs to slow Sane down. A knee to the ribs takes us to a break with Sane in trouble. Back with Baszler getting two off a gutwrench suplex before starting on the arm.
The armbar is reversed into a rollup for two and Sane chops away in the corner. Sane gets a breather off a spear and the sliding knee in the corner has Baszler in trouble. A top rope forearm gives Sane two and a spinning backfist puts Baszler down again. It’s too early for the Insane Elbow though as Baszler kicks her in the head, setting up the Kirifuda Clutch to make Sane tap at 7:22.
Rating: C+. This was exactly how the match should have gone: Baszler gets the win back and looks dominant in the process, showing that she is now better than Sane and can beat her in rather short order. The match should set Baszler up for the Women’s Title match in New Orleans, where she needs to win the title in similarly dominant fashion.
Post match Baszler calls out Ember Moon, promising to leave with either the title or her limb.
Here are Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega for a chat. Vega calls Almas Mr. 4-0 (over Gargano) and laughs about Gargano having his wife there for the last loss. Gargano was bragging about earning respect but Almas earns MONEY. Almas talks about making Johnny Wrestling Johnny Jobless but Almas is still called the NXT Champion. They go to leave but Aleister Black cuts them off. Before Black can say anything though, here’s Killian Dain for the brawl, including a running crossbody to take Black down and end the show.
Overall Rating: B. Well there’s the next title match and they went out of their way to suggest that Gargano isn’t quite gone yet. I’m starting to get excited for Takeover and that’s a good sign with nearly six weeks left. The show could be a heck of a card and it’s nice to have good TV setting us up on the way there. Throw in what should be the start of a good tournament next week and things are rolling.
Results
Velveteen Dream b. Tyler Bate – Purple Rainmaker
Adam Cole b. Cezar Bononi – Running knee to the back of the head
Shayna Baszler b. Kairi Sane – Kirifuda Clutch
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
I’m as sick as you are of this “I can’t go to Wrestlemania” story so today we’re looking at some less traditional ways to get him to the show.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-lets-get-john-cena-wrestlemania/
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 29, 2003
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Al Snow, Jonathan Coachman
It’s a big night tonight because THE BATTLING ANNOUNCERS ARE BACK! This time around we have it’s in the form of Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman for the commentary job, because Steve Austin can just do that again. Oh and there’s a ladder match for the Intercontinental Title with Christian defending against Rob Van Dam. Let’s get to it.
Need a recap? Here’s last week’s show.
Opening sequence.
Snow and Coach, already at the desk, get another entrance this week.
Here are Chris Jericho and Eric Bischoff, who come out together, for the Highlight Reel. Bischoff gets things going by announcing that Austin is suspended for a week due to the unprovoked attack last week. Totally fair point actually. Jericho thinks that’s too light and blames Austin for costing him the World Title last week. It turns out that Bischoff isn’t the guest so here’s Jim Ross.
Jericho isn’t happy with it but tonight JR could get his job back. However, Bischoff thinks Coach should get to pick the stipulation. Coach says he’s thought about whipping JR before (That’s not something I’ve ever needed to know.) so we’ll make it a country whipping match. Jericho brings up Kane burning JR’s back a few months ago, which could make a whipping match all the more painful. That sounds great to Bischoff but JR says they better hope he wins tonight, because they all suck.
In response to that horrible comeback, Jericho slaps on the Walls of Jericho but here’s the suspended Austin for the save. Austin knew something like this would happen but Bischoff sends security after him. They grab his drinking arm (both of them actually) and that means a Stunner to give the fans something to cheer. I’m not seeing that happening when JR is wrestling so take what you can get.
Post break, Austin has been put outside with security blocking his entrance.
Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Test/Scott Steiner
Test and Steiner are challenging. The sleeveless top, black skirt and tie look works quite well for Stacy Keibler. Steiner and Test get in an argument over who starts so Bubba pulls Test in and pounds away in the corner. Test avoids a shot and goes to tag Steiner, who takes a step back down the steps.
The pumphandle slam is easily blocked but Test can break up the What’s Up. D-Von isn’t as adept at breaking up the pumphandle but Steiner breaks it up at two. Stacy takes a chair away from Test and gets shoved down, leaving Scott to take a Bubba Bomb. With Test still mad, Stacy chairs him in the head, setting up the 3D to retain in short order.
Post match Steiner says he doesn’t like Test but he doesn’t forgive Stacy for calling all these problems. He gives her a belly to belly, making Steiner a heel who is teaming with another heel who he doesn’t like while being managed by a face. Again: weird year.
Post break, we see some replays of the suplex to Stacy. Snow wants to know why director Kevin Dunn is showing this.
Here’s Kane to rant about Shane McMahon. Last week he tasted Shane’s blood and loved it. This is just the beginning….so here’s Hurricane to interrupt. Hurricane shows us a clip of the two of them winning the Tag Team Titles last year. Less than a year later, Kane has become a psychopathic monster.
Kane says Hurricane represents everything Kane used to hate about himself and invites Hurricane to come down and see what the monster is like. That’s a no (what a horrible superhero) so Kane goes after a kid in the front row. The kid needs to feel his pain and that’s enough for Hurricane to come in for the save. That just leads to a beatdown until Rosey comes in for the real save….which actually works?
Earlier today, Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade were playing the new WWE game when Maven wants to join in. La Resistance comes in and calls that stupid. Cade INSULTS THE FRENCH ARMY IN WORLD WAR TWO (Dupree: “That’s two hundred years ago!”) and a six man seems to be made for later.
La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Maven/Mark Jindrak
The good guys clean house to start until a flag shot to the back cuts Cade off. The French villains take turns with some shots to the jaw before Conway has to break up a sunset flip at two. Conway grabs a chinlock until a suplex gets Cade out of trouble. Maven gets the hot tag and fires off some dropkicks as everything breaks down. The double spinebuster plants Maven but Jindrak makes the save (Snow: “He’s just stuck with a really bad name. I tried to get him to change it.”). Jindrak and Cade’s Hart Attack with a dropkick pins Conway.
Rating: D. I get the youth movement idea but Jindrak is the only one with the slightest glimmer of potential. Maven is still a pair of eyebrows with a bad wrestler attached and Garrison Cade is named Garrison Cade. It’s not like La Resistance is much better but at least they have characters.
Austin is still trying to get in when Rob Van Dam comes up to thank him for giving Rob the ladder match tonight. Van Dam leaves and Austin runs into a good sized guy who is a bit star struck. His name is Jon Heidenreich and he’s tried to be a wrestler for ten years. Jon has a ticket, and that gets Austin’s attention. They go off to have a little talk.
HHH joins us via satellite to talk about paranoia sinking in on Goldberg. He knows Goldberg will crack but he’d like to push it along a bit. We pan to the side where HHH has a briefcase. If he had a dollar for every time someone chanted GOLDBERG, he’d be a rich man. It turns out that he is a rich man, so whoever can take Goldberg out gets $100,000. The game just got a lot more interesting. If you consider 1983 Mid-Atlantic more interesting (and I could see how you would), that’s true.
Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman
The commentary jobs are on the line and they both have leather straps but you win via pin or submission. Jericho comes out for commentary and JR hits a quick whip shot to send Coach outside (though he maintains his hat). Coach gets in an argument with a fan (Jericho calls it ballyhooing) and gets whipped back into the ring. Jericho compares Coach to a young Tito Santana (YOU TAKE THAT BACK!) and now it’s time for Coach to get in his own whips.
As JR mouths some rather severe swearing, Coach whips him down even more until a low blow cuts him off. JR takes Coach’s shirt off and more whipping ensues. Bischoff tries to run in and gets whipped as well, leaving JR to hit a Stunner (Well, kind of. JR went down like he was giving a Diamond Cutter but Coach sold it like a Stunner.) for the pin.
Rating: F. Oh what else were you expecting? Well actually some more interference, though at least Coach isn’t a wrestler so this wasn’t the biggest stretch in the world. That being said, what in the world was the point of this whole story? To continue Bischoff vs. Austin? Well fine, but there was NOTHING else they could do other than this stupid announcers feud? I don’t quite buy that.
Lawler comes in to celebrate and of course Austin, with the ticket, jumps the barricade to raise JR’s hand. Jericho has been on a nearly continuous rant about how unfair this is, showing how he really could be an awesome heel announcer if he’d ever need to lower himself like that. Austin finally cuts him off by saying he’ll drink to this so beer is consumed.
Video on Wrestlemania tickets going on sale. It’s still cool.
The beatdown is on with Lita easily escaping a double suplex before Trish can get in for the save. Molly and Gail get beaten up for a bit until Victoria runs in for the real beatdown. Gail rips up the book and shoves the pages in Lita’s mouth. This has some more potential, partially because there’s an actual division being put together instead of just three people.
Kane vs. The Hurricane
Hurricane jumps him on the floor and hits a flip dive from the top. Back in and a Shining Wizard (which was a knee that barely grazed the back of Kane’s head) gets two. That’s about it from Hurricane though as Kane sends him into the corner and finishes with the chokeslam in less than a minute.
Kane gives him another chokeslam for good measure.
Goldberg isn’t worried about the bounty and beats up Steven Richards as he tries to collect.
Ric Flair/Randy Orton vs. Goldberg/Shawn Michaels
Goldberg shoves Flair down to start and double clotheslines both villains down. It’s off to so Shawn for a clothesline to put Flair on the floor but Orton catches him with the backbreaker. The slow beating continues until Flair’s chops wake Shawn up for a bit but Orton cuts him off with a dropkick. It’s back to Flair who struts a lot, allowing Shawn to nip up and hit the flying forearm. The hot tag brings in Goldberg for a series of backdrops and a spear to Flair. Shawn superkicks Orton to the floor but here’s Rodney Mack with a chair to Goldberg for the DQ.
Rating: D+. This was a formula tag match to advance the bounty angle. There’s nothing wrong with that and at least they didn’t spend a ton of time on something like this. Goldberg having to fight off various people until he gets to the big fight is fine, especially when there’s about two months before the next time Raw is on pay per view.
Goldberg runs through Mack but Mark Henry destroys Shawn, busting him open and dragging him up the steps.
Post break Teddy Long praises Mark, who wants Goldberg next week.
Christian is walking through the back and blows a kiss to Trish and Lita before running into Tommy Dreamer. Tommy calls him a CLB so Christian rants about how awesome he is and steals Dreamer’s apple.
Video on the Rundown.
Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam
Christian is defending in a ladder match. Rob easily wins a battle of kicks to start but Christian won’t let him set up an early ladder. Instead it’s Christian picking one up so Rob hits a flip dive over the top onto the ladder onto Christian. Well that was rather stupid. Since that did more damage to Rob than Christian, the champ bridges a ladder between the barricade and the steps. Christian is dropped ribs first onto the ladder and the spinning kick to the back makes things even worse.
There’s a ladder set up in the corner so of course Van Dam is whipped hard into it for his efforts. A catapult sends Rob face first into the ladder but he’s right back up with a delayed gorilla press onto the ladder. Rob has always been deceptively strong and the athleticism makes it even less noticeable. Christian gets knocked outside so Rob can make the first climb, only to be taken down by the reverse DDT off the ladder.
That’s not enough to get the title though as Christian is sent into the ladder in the corner, followed by a Cannonball (called Rolling Thunder, which is close enough). Rob uses the ladder for a Van Daminator but the Five Star only hits ladder. A hard running shot with the ladder puts Van Dam on the floor again but he comes back in with a top rope kick to knock it over again. The double climb leads to a slugout with both guys falling, only to have Rob catch himself on the other ladder. A Five Star from that ladder is enough for Rob to go up and get the title for the win.
Rating: B. While it’s no classic, this was the kind of match that Raw has been needing: hard hitting, a lot of fun and with a good guy winning in the end. Oh and a lack of HHH or Evolution helped too. This isn’t the kind of match that anyone is going to remember as anything great, but it was what they should have done on this show, especially as the main event instead of the big tag match.
Overall Rating: D. The main event helps this a lot but it’s very clear that we’re just waiting on HHH to heal up and come get his title back. Other than that….what is going on around here? You have the Austin vs. Bischoff feud which seems to tie into most of the stories on the show but can’t actually lead to a match because Austin can’t wrestle and Bischoff is Bischoff. Everything else seems to be just going in whatever direction with no end in sight. That’s fine if the stuff is good, but that’s not the case here. Not the worst, but they need a direction.
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IMG Credit: WWE
Smackdown
Date: February 27, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s time for some crossover appeal as John Cena is making his return to the show in an attempt to find a way to get to Wrestlemania. You know, because that’s just so hard otherwise. Other than that we have to get ready for Fastlane because it’s cool to have a pay per view four weeks before Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
And here’s how Cena got here tonight.
Here’s John Cena to open things up. He makes no bones about it: he wants in on the Fatal Five Way for the #1 contendership at Fastlane so let’s find out what he has to do to get there. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Cue Commissioner Shane McMahon to summarize everything, only to be cut off by a LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chant.
Cena says half the people want him in the match so he should go in. The fans switch to RUSEV DAY and it seems that Cena will be having a shot. This brings out Daniel Bryan, to say he agrees with Shane. They’re willing to put Cena in the main event and if he wins, he’s in the Fastlane title match. His opponent tonight: AJ Styles. The DQ finish seems obvious and that would make the most sense at this point.
Baron Corbin vs. Sami Zayn
Kevin Owens is on commentary. Byron: “Well let me ask you this Kevin.” Kevin: “No.” Corbin sends Sami outside to start as Owens makes bald jokes. Sami gets in a shot on the announcers’ table and a backdrop sends Corbin over the barricade. We cut to the back where Shane and Daniel are arguing over Owens being allowed to do commentary as Shane thinks he’ll interfere. Bryan thinks he’s entertaining and we take a break.
Back with another RUSEV DAY chant and let’s cut to Shane eating popcorn while Bryan continues to defend Owens being on commentary. Sami dives into a chokebreaker and Corbin’s slide under the ropes into the clothesline gets two. They head outside with Sami getting dropped but Corbin stops to yell at Owens. The distraction lets Sami hit a DDT back inside as Dolph Ziggler comes in through the crowd for a superkick to Owens. Sami glares at Ziggler and walks into the End of Days for the pin at 9:41.
Rating: C+. The fact that they’re now having these battling bosses arguing over actual matches is not a good sign, nor is it a sign that these things are ending anytime soon. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot of that in the coming weeks, plus at least another week of random singles matches to set up the five way, because that’s all WWE knows how to do for something like this.
Ziggler gives Corbin the Zig Zag.
Bryan says that was fun and takes off for the night with Shane’s blessing.
Post break Sami and Kevin are furious and don’t get any better when Shane (and his box of popcorn) doesn’t seem to think much of their complaint. Geez END THIS STORY ALREADY!
Naomi vs. Ruby Riott
Of course the other four are at ringside because having this be a singles match might involve developing more than one person and that’s too much to ask from the precious writers. They go to the floor for the big staredown to start and it’s an early break. Back with Riott holding a seated full nelson as we cut to Carmella answering fan questions in the back. Naomi fights up and it’s a double kick to the head for a knockdown. A shot off the top misses so Naomi goes with a scorpion kick instead. Ruby sends her into the corner though and the Riott Kick is good for the pin at 6:50.
Rating: D+. Not enough time to mean much but Riott winning to further her chance against Charlotte makes sense. Riott isn’t going to win the title but it’s a good idea to push someone before we get to Wrestlemania and what is likely Asuka vs. Charlotte. I mean, we of course can’t announce anything like that yet because the world needs Fastlane but I’m sure four weeks for Wrestlemania is fine.
Charlotte and Becky run the Squad off.
We go to the Fashion Police’s office where Breezango runs into the star of the new USA series Unsolved. The series is about the unsolved murders of Biggie Smalls and Tupac so we get a Biggie/Big E. joke/cameo. The actor says he’s just an actor and not a real detective, making Fandango sad. This was a rather unfunny cross promotional ad.
Here’s New Day (with the words on the screen because NEW DAY’S entrance isn’t easy to remember) for a chat about renewing their rivalry with the Usos. Big E. says it’s as hot as his inner thighs in the summer. Or winter. Or anytime. He has Kofi spritz his thighs with a bit of water so Woods can talk about how they’re ready to go to New Orleans and party on Bourbon Street as the new champions.
Cue the Usos to say they used to be the New Day with the bright colors looking like a box of Skittles. That didn’t get them to the top because they ground their way up. They’ve been here nine years and have been left on the sideline of EVERY Wrestlemania (so Kickoff Show matches don’t count).
Big E. gets right back in their faces and says they’ve taken the ball and rushed the field. They hosted Wrestlemania while the Usos were sitting in the back eating catering. New Day didn’t get here because of their daddies and they’ll take the titles for the fifth time. This brings out the Bludgeon Brothers, who bring the hammers into the ring. That’s enough for the Usos and the New Day, who bail in short order. Very strong segment here with Big E. showing some great fire before the big title match.
Earlier today, Rusev Day came in to see Shane and get a match tonight. Shane, in song, made Aiden English vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.
Ziggler says he’s not back to get lost in the shuffle and deserves to main event Wrestlemania.
Bobby Roode is glad to be fighting Randy Orton because the US Title means a lot. Maybe Orton is just jealous over the top ten list. Orton comes in to say it’s because the US Title is the only title he’s never won, which is as good of a motivation as any.
Aiden English comes to the ring for his song but the fans cut him off with the Rusev Day chants. Eventually he sings Shinsuke is an artist but not the real artiste.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Aiden English
Nakamura wastes no time in firing off the kicks, followed by COME ON. More kicks have English in trouble and we take a break. Back with English getting knocked off the corner but a Ruse distraction lets English hit a reverse fireman’s carry slam for two. The running knees in the corner miss but Aiden’s high crossbody just seems to fire Nakamura up. Good Vibrations into the running knee has English in trouble and the Kinshasa is good for the pin at 6:22.
Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Nakamura never feeling like he was in any real danger. Nakamura needs some bigger wins than this though as just fighting various low level people (and by various I mean this one as he hasn’t had a match in nearly a month) like English isn’t the best way to set up Wrestlemania.
Cena comes out for a quick staredown before his match.
AJ Styles vs. John Cena
Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Cena hitting an early shoulder block for two. A chickening/half nelson has AJ in trouble but he fights out with some chops for a breather. The tornado DDT out of the corner lands awkwardly and gives Cena two as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the ProtoBomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle but AJ comes back with the fireman’s carry neckbreaker for a near fall of his own.
A TKO of all things gives Cena the same and Baron Corbin is watching in the back. AJ’s torture rack neckbreaker and Cena’s hard running clothesline get two each but Cena charges into an enziguri as we take another break. Back again with AJ getting two off a clothesline of his own but a Lionsault misses. Cena grabs a Code Red for two more and floats over from the near fall into the STF.
That’s reversed as well and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two. The springboard 450 hits knees though and the AA connects. Cena tries another though and winds up on the floor where a missed charge sends him into the steps. AJ won’t take the countout though and gets AA’d through the announcers’ table for a knockout. Cena rolls back in as the referee checks on AJ, meaning Styles can dive back in to beat the ten count. There’s the Calf Crusher but Cena powers to his feet for another AA and the pin at 22:00.
Rating: B+. These two could have a good match in their sleep so this is no surprise. It’s also not a surprise that Cena is going to the pay per view where he can have another shot at Wrestlemania, which means he’s likely losing at Fastlane so we can set up Cena vs. Undertaker in less than a month. Still though, as good as you would have expected here.
Post match Corbin, Owens and Zayn come down to beat on Cena and Styles. Ziggler runs in for the save but decks AJ. That earns him an AA to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. You know, last week I said maybe we could add the rest of the roster to the Fastlane match to save some time. At the time, I wasn’t serious but now, we’re a step closer to that actually happening. Assuming this is just a big way to set up Cena vs. Undertaker, we’re looking at less than four weeks to build it up, because of Fastlane (and Nikki Bella last year).
I’m starting to think Fastlane should just be called Speed Bump. It slows you down on the way to where you want to go, can cause damage to what’s working just fine, and it’s better if you just can just pull to the side and avoid it altogether. The show won’t be bad, but they REALLY shouldn’t be building to another pay per view when Wrestlemania is in forty days. Good show this week, but it’s building to the wrong pay per view.
Results
Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days
Ruby Riott b. Naomi – Riott Kick
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Aiden English – Kinshasa
John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:
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IMG Credit: WWE
Elimination Chamber 2018
Date: February 25, 2018
Location: T-Mobile Arena, Paradise, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman
We’re only two stops away from Wrestlemania now because it just wouldn’t be right to not squeeze in a pair of pay per views between the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania. Tonight is a show of pretty predictable endings but at least the Elimination Chamber matches themselves should be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.
Kickoff Show: Anderson and Gallows vs. Miztourage
Axel headlocks Anderson to start but gets kicked in the face as the announcers talk about Sasha Banks. A clothesline takes Axel down again and there’s the HI-YAH kick in the corner. Back from a break with Axel slowly stomping Anderson down as the announcers talk about the stars being out in Vegas tonight. Anderson gets in a clothesline and rolls over for the hot tag to Gallows. A high kick to Axel has the Miztourage in trouble but the referee says there was no tag. Not that it matters as Anderson grabs the spinning spinebuster to set up the real hot tag. The Magic Killer puts Dallas away at 8:49.
Rating: D+. Total Raw level tag match here and that’s not the best thing in the world. The Revival needs to be in this picture a lot sooner, hopefully getting the titles somewhere around Wrestlemania (the night after would be a good place). Odds are this sets up a six man or Miz vs. Balor and that’s all it should be doing.
The opening video is standard fare: tonight is the last way to get to Wrestlemania and it involves the most dangerous structure.
We hit a long package on the Women’s Elimination Chamber. It’s a big part of the Women’s Revolution (take a shot every time you hear that in the video) as we’ve never had one before. The winner goes on to face someone, possibly Asuka, at Wrestlemania.
Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville vs. Mickie James
Bliss is defending, the entrance intervals are five minutes and it’s Mickie vs. Bayley to start things off. Feeling out process to start with Bayley taking over and hitting an early bulldog. Sonya sends her over the top and onto the cage floor but Bayley jumps onto the wall to avoid some pain. Sonya gets send hard into the Chamber wall for two and Bayley goes up. That sends Sonya back to the floor so Bayley drops the elbow there for two (inside the ring of course) instead. We hit the chinlock until Mandy is in third.
A quick Stunner over the ropes cuts Mandy off and the fans are behind Bayley in the glorified handicap match. Bayley gets taken outside and driven hard onto the floor as the numbers game starts taking over. The double teaming continues with Mandy hitting a middle rope knee to the chest for two. Bayley gets her arms hung up in the wall so Absolution can fire in strikes to the ribs but the clock starts ticking down. Mandy and Sonya actually realize it and are waiting in Sasha, who comes in fourth.
House is cleaned in a hurry and the running double knees get two on Sonya. With Mandy down, Sasha and Bayley double team Sonya into the Chamber. Mandy gets back up and hits a German suplex faceplant (Fan: “THAT WAS DOPE!”) on Sasha, only to get caught in the Bank Statement for the tap at 13:50. Mickie James (in Wonder Woman gear) is in fifth and cleans house, as is the custom for someone joining the match. A hurricanrana from the Chamber wall drops Deville and it’s only Mickie standing. James heads to the top of a pod and it’s a huge Thesz press to get rid of Deville at 17:40.
Not that it matters as the Backstabber into the Bayley to Belly eliminates Mickie at 18:03 (so much for the last few weeks of Bliss and Mickie being friends), leaving us with Bayley and Banks in the ring as we wait on Bliss. Alexa finally comes in and climbs the wall but is surrounded in a hurry. She tries to crawl from side to side and winds up on a pod….but Banks turns on Bayley by kicking her down.
Bliss sends Banks into the buckles though and slaps the heck out of Bayley for two. Bayley is back up and ties Banks in the Tree of Woe for a stomping but Bliss catches her on top in a superplex. Banks’ frog splash gets two on Bayley but she’s back up with a super Bayley to Belly. A rollup gets rid of Bayley at 25:39 and we’re down to two. Twisted Bliss hits Banks’ knees so she fires off knees against the Chamber.
One misses though and Bliss drills her from behind to take over again. Another Twisted Bliss on the floor crushes Sasha but it doesn’t count so Banks reverses into the Bank Statement. They head inside with Bliss driving her into the corner but Banks kicks her down. Sasha looks up to the top of a pod and this isn’t going to go well. Alexa kicks her face first into the pod and an elevated DDT retains the title at 29:42.
Rating: C. It got WAY better once Bliss came in but this didn’t need to be a Chamber match. No one bought anyone but Banks and Bliss (or maybe Bayley) as winning here and Bliss winning was the obvious choice. The Thesz press was a cool spot but the Twisted Bliss should have been the finish. Still though, not terrible and better than some of the men’s matches over the years.
Post match, with Banks crying on the steps, Bliss gives an emotional speech about how this is proof that you can accomplish your dreams. This is for everyone who has ever dreamed big….and none of you will ever accomplish anything. She is the one true goddess of WWE and that is never going to change. Thank goodness, as Bliss is a million times better as a heel.
Braun Strowman is ready to go to Wrestlemania and make Brock Lesnar his little beastie boy.
Tag Team Titles: Titus Worldwide vs. The Bar
The Bar is defending and jump the challengers early on, only to have Apollo hit a big dive to the floor. We settle down to Cesaro uppercutting Apollo for two, followed by Sheamus coming in for an armbar. Cesaro hits a front facelock and brings Sheamus back in for another armbar. It would be nice if they mixed the submissions up but that’s not likely to happen in a cool down match like this.
Cesaro grabs a chinlock and again it’s back to Sheamus for a front facelock. Geez at least pretend to try. Apollo sends Sheamus shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Titus for the power game. Cesaro gets pulled out of the air and Sheamus dives into the Clash of the Titus for two. Apollo’s high crossbody into the standing moonsault gets two but Titus gets sent outside. A chop block into the assisted White Noise retains the titles at 10:03.
Rating: D+. Another standard Raw tag match here, and actually worse than most of their previous matches. The ending was a bit of a surprise but I’d rather a bigger team take the titles from the Bar than a short run team. The problem though is who gets to take those titles from them, as there aren’t exactly a bunch of face teams worth much at the moment.
Trailer for the Andre the Giant documentary. That looks amazing.
Video on Asuka vs. Nia Jax. Nia wants to break the streak and that’s about it.
Asuka by the numbers video.
Nia Jax vs. Asuka
If Nia wins, she’s added to the Women’s Title match at Wrestlemania. Nia wastes no time in throwing Asuka around, including tossing away the jumping armbar. Something like a curb stomp into a running elbow gets two. Asuka strikes away for some effect but gets taken down again in short order. Another armbar is countered into a slam (close to a Jackhammer) but this time Nia isn’t following up as fast.
Asuka’s kicks to the chest are shrugged off for a Samoan drop and another near fall. A big kick to the face gets two and Asuka is looking frustrated. Asuka goes up top but gets slammed down, only to avoid the middle rope splash. The cross armbreaker goes on but Nia rolls over and drives her into the corner for the break. Nia shouts a lot and tries a powerbomb, which is reversed into a hurricanrana to give Asuka the pin at 8:13.
Post match Nia is still livid and drives Asuka through the barricade.
Bliss says no one is ready for her.
Roman Reigns isn’t worried about Paul Heyman’s threats on the Kickoff Show because he’s winning the Chamber and the title.
We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy. Matt was sick of losing and finally became awoken, setting up the battle of creepy characters with weird laughs.
Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt
Matt comes out first and Bray does his appear in the ring entrance….but Matt disappears. We get a Matt voiceover with him saying the words Jeff used to use in Impact Wrestling (you’ll fade away and classify yourself as obsolete). Matt says tonight we delete but Bray can’t find him. Finally Matt pops up and jumps Bray in a bit of an anti-climactic moment. The bell rings and Bray isn’t sure what to do, so Matt offers some applause. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Bray hits his running body block.
We hit the chinlock and it’s BEACH BALL TIME BECAUSE A WRESTLING SHOW NEEDS A BEACH BALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT! It seems to be taken away as Bray stomps on Matt but charges into a boot to the face. A tornado DDT drops Wyatt and the Side Effect gets two. Matt takes too long loading up the middle rope elbow and it’s a release Rock Bottom to take him down. The middle rope backsplash misses though and Matt reverses Sister Abigail into a Twist of Fate for the pin at 9:50.
Rating: C. And that’s it for the feud being interesting, even though this wasn’t all that much in the first place. Matt has lost all of his steam and Bray didn’t have any steam in the first place. Wyatt needs to either go away for a long time or have a crisis and turn face, because this is making things worse and worse every week.
Long package on Ronda Rousey, the same that has aired on Raw.
It’s time for the Rousey signing, with Kurt Angle, Stephanie McMahon and HHH out with her. HHH gives her a big introduction and here’s Ronda, with Stephanie welcoming her as well. Ronda seems taken aback to be here and talks about how amazing it is to be in the ring with Kurt.
We stop for a Ronda chant but HHH wants to get down to business. They’re ready to sign the contract, which will put Rousey on the Wrestlemania card. Ronda doesn’t want to be given anything special so that’s fine with her. I mean, it puts her in Fandango territory. Rousey is about to sign but Angle has a look on his face. She asks if he has something to say and Kurt praises HHH and Stephanie.
They wanted to manipulate her for what happened at Wrestlemania XXXI (not XXI Kurt). Apparently HHH said “three years in the making and now we own the b….”. HHH: “KURT SHUT UP!” He blames the flu for Kurt’s statements and the men leave. Stephanie starts getting serious and wants to sign the contract but Angle says hang on a second. Apparently Stephanie has been calling Ronda a has been and even she could beat Rousey up. Rousey goes to the angry face and backs Stephanie up to the ropes but HHH makes the save. Ronda shoves his arms away too and slams HHH through the table.
That earns her the big slap from Stephanie….and then reality sets in. Fans: “YOU F***ED UP!” Stephanie bails and Rousey signs the contract. This was EXACTLY how it should have been and far better than the Rumble. It’s a perfectly done story and Angle in the tag match (possibly fighting for his job) is the right way to go. Have Rousey break Stephanie’s arm into 34 pieces in New Orleans and everything is fine.
Long recap of the Men’s Elimination Chamber. Everyone wants to face Lesnar and that’s about it.
Elias vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns vs. The Miz vs. Braun Strowman vs. John Cena
The winner faces Lesnar at Wrestlemania. Elias has a song for us about how he’s not scared of anyone, including Lesnar, who he’ll beat when he gets his chance. Miz, Balor and Rollins will start things off because quantity means quality. It’s Miz going for the early alliances but his Too Sweet is shot down. Instead it’s Rollins and Balor joining forces, only to roll Balor up for two in short order. Miz’s sunset flip is countered with a basement dropkick for two and it’s time to trade reversals.
Rollins is right back up with the springboard clothesline as Cole mentions Rollins having more pay per view wins in the last five years than anyone else. The Skull Crushing Finale is broken up so Rollins goes with the double Blockbuster for two each instead. It’s Cena in fourth and that means a showdown with Rollins. They talk a lot of trash about how this is to go to Wrestlemania and the shoulder blocks put Rollins down. A ProtoBomb to Miz sets up a double Shuffle. Balor is back in so Cena throws both he and Rollins onto his shoulders. That goes nowhere so Miz gets two on Rollins off the Reality Check.
Cena superplexes Balor and Rollins does the same to Miz, putting all four down until Reigns is in fifth. Miz DDTs Balor and winds up being the only person on his feet, meaning it’s a big circle of YES Kicks. Seth gets sent hard over the top for a crash onto the floor but Roman is back up with a sitout powerbomb for two on Miz. The clock begins and since Elias is left, Strowman is in sixth. Everyone goes after Braun so he suplexes Cena and Rollins (who has a great in pain face) at the same time. Balor is thrown into Reigns and it’s Braun staring Miz down. Miz tries to climb a pod….and STROWMAN GETS UP THERE FIRST!
Braun slams him head first into the Plexiglas and then tosses Miz onto the pile. With everyone else down, Braun stares at Elias, stops to throw Rollins over the top, and then stares at him again. The running powerslam eliminates Miz at 20:00 and we have five people in the Chamber. Elias comes in to complete the field….or at least he’s allowed to but stays in the pod, leaving the other four to pound Braun down.
A QuadrupleBomb with Cena helping Reigns gets two, even with everyone covering. The AA only gets one, the spear gets two, the Curb Stomp sends Strowman to the floor and Balor adds the Coup de Grace. Instead of covering though it’s an AA to Reigns but Rollins jumps Cena. Rollins and Balor crossbody each other so now Elias comes in for some near falls. Elias takes his shot at a few people but an electric chair into a sitout powerbomb only gets two on Reigns. Braun is back up though and Elias tries the electric chair on him. That means a running powerslam and Elias is gone at 26:35.
Rollins saves Reigns from a similar fate and it’s time to go after Strowman again. Cena dives into another powerslam though and we’re down to four at 27:05. Strowman is on his feet while Cena looks scared because HE MIGHT NOT GO TO WRESTLEMANIA! I’M SURE! Balor slips out of the powerslam and hits a pair of shotgun dropkicks to stagger Balor. A Coup de Grace to the back gets two but Rollins hits an enziguri on Balor. Finn is right back with the Pele and 1916 gets two on Seth. Another dropkick puts Reigns in the corner and the Coup de Grace connects but the powerslam gets rid of Balor at 30:24.
Rollins low bridges Braun to the Chamber floor and stomps away with Reigns helping things out. Strowman shrugs them off so Reigns hits a Samoan drop as Rollins goes to the top of the pod. With a look to the Wrestlemania sign, Rollins hits the frog splash for two and everyone is down. Back to back superkicks look to set up the Curb Stomp but instead it’s a fifth powerslam for a fifth elimination at 36:26.
Strowman takes the shirt off and waits on Roman as we hit the GET THESE HANDS chant. Reigns comes at him and sidesteps a charge to send Strowman through a pod (I’ve been waiting for that.). Braun is up so there’s the Superman Punch and the booing commences. Another one puts Strowman on a knee but the spear is blocked. Instead it’s a third Superman Punch and two spears to send Reigns to Wrestlemania at 39:57 to near silence.
Rating: B+. It’s been the same problem for the last year: there is no reason for this to be Reigns other than the script says so. Strowman has been built up for a year now and the fans want to see him. For whatever reason though, WWE would rather try Reigns AGAIN instead of pulling the trigger on what seems to be a big layup. I know Reigns probably has more potential long term, but right now it should be Strowman. We’ve tried Reigns before and it hasn’t quite worked (though it hasn’t failed), but now it should be the logical play.
The match itself was entertaining and I was getting behind Strowman more and more, even if the ending wasn’t exactly a secret. No one else really mattered in the match with Strowman eliminating everyone but Reigns. He looked like a star and should get a huge Wrestlemania match (Cena would be interesting) but the ending took away a lot of the momentum.
Post match Reigns celebrates but Strowman gives him two powerslams.
Overall Rating: C+. Certainly not a bad show but the completely worthless midcard didn’t help things, much like the show, with five matches, SOMEHOW HAVING ANOTHER OVERRUN. Like seriously, it’s 11:20 on a Sunday night. Cut something down or out (four minute intervals would have been a fine idea) but find a way to get these things under control. And in May we go to half an hour longer than this every month? Or will those have an overrun too? Overall though, good show with the main event and Rousey segments being the high points.
Results
Alexa Bliss won the Women’s Elimination Chamber last eliminating Sasha Banks
The Bar b. Titus Worldwide – Assisted White Noise to Apollo
Asuka b. Nia Jax – Hurricanrana
Matt Hardy b. Bray Wyatt – Twist of Fate
Roman Reigns won the Men’s Elimination Chamber last eliminating Braun Strowman
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:
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