Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

So it’s time for the annual redos and for some reason, my readers decided to have me watch one of the worst Summerslams of all time. I’m so thrilled. Anyway this is built around Diesel vs. King Mabel in one of those moments where Vince McMahon was considered completely insane. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the big matches tonight, including Diesel vs. Mabel, Jerry Lawler sending his evil dentist (that will never sound normal) against Bret Hart, Kama Mustafa vs. Undertaker (over the again stolen urn) and the sequel to the ladder match (which was added because the company knew they were dead in the water otherwise).

I still love the big flying blimp in the arena. The fans behind it must be so thrilled. Now am I being sarcastic on that one?

Dean Douglas, the annoying teacher, is in the back to critique all of the matches. I’m not a Shane fan, but to go from the Franchise to this is a shame.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi

Vince: “The Kid is ready for WWF action!” You mean this isn’t the Boggle tournament? Hakushi’s White Angel look is way too awesome for a show like this. Kid grabs a headlock to start but gets taken down by the hair, with a fan opposite the hard camera being VERY upset by the cheating. A trip takes Hakushi down but he kicks Kid away, giving us a double nipup.

Back up and they both miss spinning kicks for another early standoff. Hakushi finally sends him into the corner for the handspring elbow and the fans aren’t sure what to think of it (fair enough as he’s a heel, but an awesome heel). The Bronco Buster hits Kid (so that’s where he got it) and it’s time to kick at his leg. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Hakushi sends him outside and hits a cartwheel into a backdrop over the top for your YOU DO KNOW IT’S 1995 spot.

Back in and a top rope headbutt to the standing Kid gets two but a top rope splash misses. Kid dropkicks him to the floor and hits his own dive, followed by a slingshot legdrop for two. Kid’s top rope splash connects for the patented 1-2-He Got Him NO! Back up and Kid tries a spinwheel kick but gets caught in something like a belly to back suplex to give Hakushi the pin at 9:28.

Rating: B-. This was WAY ahead of its time with stuff like the Space Flying Tiger Drop of all things being far more than you would expect from a WWF match in 1995. The Kid was very good as well and fought from underneath with his own high flying. Good stuff here, though I’m worried about what else they have for the rest of the night.

Dok Hendrix is WAY too excited to know about Mabel’s master plan. You’ll just have to wait, exactly like Big Daddy Fool. And that’s before he even gets in the ring people.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

Helmsley is brand new here and still an undefeated blue blood. There’s no contact for the first minute so Holly grabs him for a slam and an armdrag sends Helmsley into the corner. Holly charges at him though and gets caught in a Stun Gun to let Helmsley take over. Vince talks about wanting to see Lawler in a go kart or bumper cars as Holly gets whipped hard into the corner.

The chinlock goes on and we cut to British Bulldog arriving, even though he has nothing to say. Back in and arena and Holly’s abdominal stretch is countered with a hiptoss over the top. Holly is right back up with a DDT and the dropkick with the backdrop completing the jobber level comeback. A missed charge lets Helmsley finish with the Pedigree at 7:10.

Rating: D. Oh come on. I know it’s a different era but this made Summerslam? I can get behind the idea of a match to make a newcomer look good but this wasn’t entertaining on any level. Helmsley was clearly someone they wanted to push but this would have been boring on Raw and we get it on a pay per view. At least it was short, but that’s all I’ve got.

Some wrestlers and firemen had a charity tug of war. Nothing wrong with that.

Blu Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns

Jacob (of Jacob and Eli Blu, which sounds conspicuously like Jake and Elwood Blues) gets caught in an early armbar from Billy. It’s off to Bart in a hurry but Eli snaps his throat across the top to take over. A quick crossbody gets Bart out of trouble though and Billy comes back in.

The yet to be named H Bomb (when they would become the Harris Twins that is) plants Billy for a delayed two and it’s off to the also yet to be named Tree of Woe (1995 needs to catch up with the times already). Lawler: “I bought five copies of Windows 95 and I don’t even have a computer.” After that random line, Eli gets two off a powerslam as the second Raw level match continues. Billy gets in a dropkick and brings in Bart to clean house. Heel miscommunication lets the Sidewinder connect for the fast pin on Eli at 6:11.

Rating: D-. At least in the Helmsley vs. Holly match (something that has never been said) they were pushing someone new and fresh. Here it’s a win for the Gunns, who had been around for years and were former Tag Team Champions. And against the Blu Brothers? That’s the best they can put together for what should be the second biggest show of the year? Thank goodness we were only a few weeks away from Nitro because this is some horrible planning.

We recap Barry Horowitz vs. Skip in a rematch of the huge upset of Barry pinning Skip. Barry then won by surviving a ten minute challenge, meaning it’s time for a third match. The idea here is that Barry hasn’t won a match in years but managed to pull this one off. How this is supposed to make me want to watch isn’t clear, as Barry is only going to be known to long time fans who are going to be watching in the first place.

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

Sunny is out with Skip and does her trademark great rant about how they were cheated twice but it won’t happen again. Barry charges to the ring (with the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila) and hammers away to start with a clothesline putting Skip on the floor. Back in and Barry gets two off an O’Connor roll before suplexing Skip over the top again. Sunny tries to throw in the towel but is told that it’s not boxing and doesn’t count. Uh, it counted for Bob Backlund in 1983.

The distraction works well enough for Skip to jump Barry from behind, meaning it’s time for some jumping jacks. For some reason, this turns into a discussion of who would win in a fight between Siskel and Ebert. Barry is back up with some shoulders for two and a sunset flip for the same. Skip runs him over again though and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and Horowitz goes old school with a Thesz press of all things for two more.

Skip pulls it back to the mat for legdrops and a chinlock but Barry jobbers up. They trade dropkicks and it’s a double knockdown as this keeps going. Another dropkick from Barry crotches him on top but Skip knocks him backwards. The Swan Dive gives Skip two so Barry hits another dropkick and goes up. This time it’s Sunny crotching him down for a change, which draws out Hakushi of all people. The distraction into a rollup lets Barry get his third straight win at 11:23.

Rating: D. AND??? Am I really supposed to get behind Horowitz after this? The guy has a career win/loss record somewhere lower than mine and now he’s getting a win on Summerslam? Somehow this is the best that they can do and that sums up a lot of the problems they were having around this point.

Dean Douglas uses a telestrator to talk about the previous match in big words. Barry gets an S for Slacker.

Shane throws it to Vince but we get Todd Pettengill instead, who gives us a look at the Wrestlemania X ladder match. Shawn Michaels says you can’t prepare for a ladder match but Razor isn’t taking his title again tonight.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Faye, with Harvey Wippleman, is challenging and her gimmick is that she’s large and not very attractive. This is one of those gimmicks that was bad then, worse later and horrible today. Blayze kicks her down to start and sweeps the leg for a bonus. More kicks have Bertha in trouble but she runs Blayze over, because she’s big you see.

The middle rope splash misses and Blayze gets two off a victory roll. Some running head slams get no cover as Harvey has the referee. Instead Blayze goes after him but can’t get the German suplex on Faye. A hurricanrana gives Blayze two and a missile dropkick has Faye reeling. Another dropkick misses though and it’s a sitout powerbomb to give Faye the pin and the title at 4:37.

Rating: D-. You can hear Vince laughing at this one and doing so all by himself. This gimmick isn’t funny and it’s a waste of someone as talented as she was. Is there any reason why they felt the need to humiliate someone that they brought in? There was nothing that the women could do when Faye was only allowed to use the “I’m big” offense in a short match. Terrible stuff here and it’s not on the wrestlers.

Post match Faye says she’s the beauty now and has the belt. Blayze would get it back in about two months.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa, who is the latest person to steal the urn (and melted it down into a big gold chain because reasons) as part of Undertaker vs. the Million Dollar Corporation, which felt like it went on forever. Kama even beat up some of the Creatures of the Night, meaning he’s gone too far. Therefore, it’s a casket match because what else could it be.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker promise to finish Kama.

Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa

Casket match with Ted DiBiase in Kama’s corner to counter Bearer. Undertaker isn’t wasting time and picks Kama up for some choking and then throws him onto the casket. Something close to a Stinger Splash (THEY’RE DOING THE MATCH!!!) and Old School connects. The casket is opened revealing the Casket Cam as Kama is knocked in.

That goes nowhere this early and Kama is right back up with a top rope clothesline. Undertaker’s second Stinger Splash is caught with a powerslam and of course he sits up again. DiBiase offers a distraction so Kama can hammer and kick away. A clothesline puts Undertaker on top of the closed casket and a suplex does it again. Kama can’t piledrive him on the casket though and Undertaker backdrops him inside.

That’s fine with Kama, who hits a powerslam for a cover, checking off your required “I forgot this is a casket match” box. We hit the chinlock for a good while as the match just stops as they lay there. A belly to back suplex finally gives them something to do and the comeback is on.

The jumping clothesline connects but it’s a Cactus Clothesline to put them both in the casket. They come out and it’s a prototype of the famous shot of Shawn Michaels being dragged back in as Kama is put inside again. Back in and Kama grabs a swinging neckbreaker to put them both down again. The chokeslam connects though and it’s a Tombstone to finish Kama for good at 16:26.

Rating: D. It wasn’t even that it was bad but it was WAY too long with all of the laying around and Kama being the least believable opponent Undertaker has had in a long time. Kama felt like the villain in the fourth edition of an action movie series that has gone on too long and the star needed a paycheck. Really dull stuff here and the last thing the show needed.

Lawler is very excited about the idea of Isaac Yankem removing Bret Hart’s teeth.

Video on Yankem, who really is an evil dentist and we really are supposed to believe this as something threatening. Lawler vs. Hart has been going on for over two years now and has offered some awesome stuff, but as soon as Todd says “the King recruited a dentist”, it loses me a bit. Yankem is of course better known as Kane and his story of hearing that he was being brought in to be an evil dentist is rather funny.

Bret is ready to shut Lawler’s mouth. Bret to Yankem: “I don’t care if you’re a dentist.” Words never spoken in wrestling before or since.

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

Lawler handles Yankem’s entrance. As a bonus pun, Yankem is billed from Decay-tur, Illinois. Lawler is on commentary for a bit of a surprise as Bret gets shoved down to start. Yankem misses a big elbow but is fine enough to send Bret hard into the corner. Bret is back with an atomic drop and a clothesline for a trip to the floor. Back in and Bret hits a middle rope clothesline, followed by the headbutt to the abdomen.

The backslide gets two as Lawler is saying only Vince needs to be impartial tonight. Another hard whip into the corner takes Bret down again and Isaac chokes on the ropes until the referee drags him away by the hair. More choking ensues as Yankem doesn’t have the highest variety in his offense so far.

Bret is back up and sends him outside for a suicide dive as the comeback is on. Back in and it’s time for the Five Moves Of Doom but a Lawler distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter. Lawler stays up to cheer on Yankem’s beating (as he should) but Bret gets in a slam off the top for a rare power display.

In a change of pace, Bret ties Yankem’s legs around the post and stomps away until the referee unties Yankem’s feet. Lawler would do it but he’s too busy getting beaten up by Bret. The distraction lets Yankem hit a top rope ax handle to the back and Lawler helps him tie Bret’s neck in the ropes for the DQ at 16:10.

Rating: C+. Bret was doing everything he could here but Yankem wasn’t there yet and there’s only so much you can do as an evil dentist. The match felt straight out of Memphis with someone wanting to get at Lawler but he brought in his latest monster for protection. It’s a perfectly usable story and the match wasn’t bad, so I’ll take what I can get here.

Post match Lawler and Yankem pull at the still trapped Bret until referees break it up.

Razor Ramon isn’t scared of Shawn Michaels and he’ll take every chance he can get. If Shawn is ready to dance, Razor leads.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn is defending in a ladder match, which was added due to “fan demand”, which is a rather accurate definition of what happened (originally scheduled to be Shawn vs. Sid before the company woke up and saw the rest of the card). The title is raised but hang on because Shawn isn’t happy with the way it’s attached to the hook (likely a problem with how the finish was supposed to go). Dok Hendrix has replaced Lawler on commentary.

They both look up at the title and then go to the slugout, as they should have done. The threat of an early superkick has Razor grabbing the ropes in a smart move. A Razor’s Edge attempt has Shawn looking worried so Razor throws him outside without much trouble. It’s time to go for the ladder but Shawn cuts Razor off from getting it. I’ve never gotten that but I guess it’s a pride thing.

They head back to the ring instead with Razor suplexing Shawn outside but Shawn’s leg hits the barricade in a nasty looking crash. Dok: “I might suggest that’s it.” Vince: “Uh yes that’s it.” Back in and Shawn escapes the Edge again but misses another superkick, meaning it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Razor is up first and hits a super fall away slam as he continues the early dominance (they’re building things up here and that’s going to pay off in the end).

Now the ladder is brought in as we see Sid watching in the back. Shawn makes a fast save though and it’s his turn to grab the ladder, but he would rather hit Razor than climb. Razor breaks up a climb by pulling the tights down and then shoves the ladder over in a smart move. Replays show Shawn’s leg getting caught in the ladder on the way down as the focal point continues to grow.

The leg gets crushed in the ladder again and the fans aren’t pleased. Razor slams him legs first onto the ladder and then puts the ladder on the middle rope in the corner. That gives Razor another place to drop Shawn’s knee onto the ladder and it’s time to go into the Ric Flair cannonballs onto the leg. Shawn kicks him to the floor for a breather but that just lets Razor wrap the knee around the post. Back in and the knee gets wrenched again The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Shawn suplexes Razor back down for a double knockdown.

Shawn puts the ladder in the corner and whips Razor into it and bring the cheers back. A moonsault off the ladder lets Shawn hammer away but he misses the huge splash off the ladder (call back tot he previous match) and they’re both down again. They both make the slow climb and crash back down for a double crotching on the top. A missed charge with the ladder has Shawn falling out to the floor and Razor goes down with him. Shawn goes back in and sets up the ladder but Razor brings in a second ladder (a new concept at the time).

Razor drops his though and hits the Razor’s Edge off the original ladder for the big knockout shot. He can’t follow up though and they’re both down again. Both ladders are set up for a double climb but Shawn superkicks him down. Hang on though as Shawn isn’t under the belt so he jumps for it, meaning another crash down onto the bad leg. Another Razor’s Edge attempt is countered with a backdrop to the floor, allowing Shawn to go up and grab the title….but he falls again without the belt coming down. A ticked off Shawn goes up and pulls the title down to retain at 25:09.

Rating: A. Yeah this was outstanding and you could argue it’s better than the original. The big difference here was having the match involve a ladder instead of being about a ladder. They had a heck of a match with Razor working the leg and Shawn having to find a way around the power game. The teasing of finishers until the end was a great addition as well and the whole thing was a blast with big spots and awesome action throughout. Check this out and then go watch the first one again because you really could say either of them is better.

Post match Razor grabs the belt but hands it to Shawn for the nice moment.

Douglas doesn’t like Razor calling himself the Bad Guy when Razor comes in to knock him down with one punch.

Diesel isn’t worried about Mabel. You know, because he’s Mabel.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Mabel, with Sir Mo, is defending and the story here is finding out his Royal Plan. We get the trash talking before the bell and my goodness Mabel’s crown looks pitiful. It looks like it’s made of paper or cheap plastic and comes off like a toy instead of something serious. Kind of like his whole push in a way.

Mabel runs him over to start and chops away in the corner but Diesel forearms him back. The big slam doesn’t work so Diesel hits some clotheslines to put Mabel on the floor. Diesel actually manages a dive over the top (not terrible either) to take Mabel down but the fans just do not care. Mabel charges into a big boot but is back in with a….I guess Boss Man Slam, but he shoved Diesel down instead of picking him up. To mix it up a bit, Mabel sits on Diesel’s back but misses a backsplash.

The referee gets bumped so Mo comes in (which seems to be the Royal Plan), drawing out Lex Luger for the save. Well the attempted save at least as Luger is knocked outside, leaving Mabel to drop the leg on Diesel on the floor. Luger takes care of Mo (Did Luger just come out early or something? Also, that would be his last appearance in the company as he would debut on Nitro eight days later), leaving Mabel to hit the belly to belly for two. Mabel misses a middle rope splash though, allowing Diesel to hit a middle rope clothesline to retain at 9:16 (admittedly to a big pop).

Rating: D-. Oh come on what else were you expecting here? It’s freaking MABEL. Diesel is someone who can have a great match with the right opponent but Mabel is so far away from being the right opponent that he’s the left one. There’s no way to make this work as Mabel was nothing more than the big guy with a lame lackey. There was no way this was going to work, the match was terrible and they got them out of there almost as fast as possible. What else could this have been?

Overall Rating: D. There are some bright spots in here, but aside from the classic ladder match, this could have been any given house show. The opener was good, Bret vs. Yankem could have been a lot worse and the ladder match is awesome. Other than that, there is no reason to think of this as a special show in any way and that was very clear throughout. I know it’s a dark time for the company, but this was them putting out whatever they had because they had to do a show instead of trying to put on a great show. Terrible for the most part, with a few bright spots sprinkled in.

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Olde Wrestling In Detroit
Date: March 30, 2019
Location: The Whiskey Factory, Detroit, Michigan
Commentator: Joe Dombrowski

This is something I have wanted to see for a LONG time, as the promotion is set in the 1920s and features a corrupt judge, bootlegging, shoeshine boys and more. It sounded like a blast and made me grab a subscription to IndependentWrestling.TV, which sent me on a list of about 20 shows. This is the grand finale though so let’s get to it.

Opening video, with old school style of course.

The ring announcer (in a furry top hat) welcomes us to the show (which is pronounced Old-E Wrestling) and we’re ready to go.

Jeff King vs. Cymbal Monkey

Cymbal Monkey might be better known as Space Monkey, and yes he looks like the wind up monkey toy that plays the cymbals. King on the other hand, is billed as the man who drove Frank Gotch out of wrestling…and he looks like Barry Horowitz in a one shoulder singlet. He also doesn’t like the cymbals and threatens to leave if they’re played one more time. They are indeed played, with King saying they are an illegal object.

Threats of a broken back via a bearhug are made and King demands a check of the tail (because being a monkey, he has a tail). The ring announcer, who sounds like an old radio announcer, thinks this might even make the DuMont Network! Or even a Nickelodeon! King grabs a headlock but a bite of the hand takes care of that. The Monkey takes the banana from King (who had a banana) as the commentary promises this to be a humdinger. Just like Vince McMahon about the opener at Summerslam 1990.

Monkey takes him down with a drop toehold as commentary talks about the popularity of swing music. A dropkick (flying leg kick, as the commentator calls it, just like Heroes Of Wrestling) has King rocked and he almost slips on the banana peel. King wants to know WHAT THIS IS and then runs Monkey over. An elbow on the tail connects as commentary is happy there are no groups around for animal rights.

The tail is wrapped around the rope but Monkey gets a boot up in the corner. A monkey flip (“Monkey type fashion” according to commentary) sends King into the corner and it’s time to get the cymbals. King grabs the bearhug but the cymbals go upside his head for the escape. Then a charging King charges and slips on the banana peel to give Monkey the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C+. Oh yeah I’m going to have fun with this, and partially just due to the commentary. The match itself was just ok but this is ALL about the presentation and that is working well. You knew the peel was going to play into the ending and in this case, it was the perfect choice. This was a blast and it’s very goofy, but they are leaning HARD into the joke to make it work.

Here are two men in suits, plus a spinster/possible religious fanatic for a chat. They are here to shut this operation down because one of them a Senator (Volstead, the name of the act that instituted prohibition), and the other, a representative of the government (they have names, though they’re a bit hard to understand), are here for ALL OF THE BOOZE.

The first man (I believe the Senator) explains the prohibition rules and the spinster (carrying an ax) threatens to use the ax on anyone who breaks said rules. Well that got intense quickly. The fans chant for something called the Purple Gang, which apparently are the main enemies of these three.

The promotion is nice enough to promise that the next match is actually happening. With no more interruptions. “Yes we’re certain.”

Danhausen vs. Marion Fontaine

Danhausen looks like Nosferatu. Fontaine is a mustached haberdasher and puts up his fists like he’s a boxer from the 1890s (I like him). Hold on though as Danhausen (with darker face paint than usual) stalks Fontaine around the ring, but the referee makes the mistake of inviting Danhausen into the ring (because vampires can’t enter a place where they haven’t been invited).

A test of strength is broken up as Fontaine goes for a hammerlock, with Danhausen reversing into one of his own. Back up and Danhausen screams at Fontaine, who faints, with commentary thinking it is a case of the vapors. Fontaine knocks him out to the floor but Danhausen is right back in to rip at Fontaine’s face. Danhausen stomps away and chokes with a boot in the corner. A bulldog doesn’t do much to Danhausen, who comes up smiling. Instead, Danhausen grabs a slingshot German suplex for the pin at 5:05.

Rating: C-. Oddly enough, this wasn’t the most entertaining match as Danhausen wasn’t doing his usual stuff and it got a little dull at times. The Nosferatu deal was great, but there is only so much you can do when the gag keeps going. The good thing is they kept it short, but I’m not sure how much more good there was involved.

Gregory Iron vs. Caleb Stills

Stills seems rather mean and Iron has cerebral palsy, in essence leaving him with one arm. Here, he’s a bullfighter (sure). Stills jumps him from from behind and takes the bull cape, which he tucks into his trunks. Iron takes it back and taunts Stills with the cape, only to switch to Stills’ own jacket. That’s enough to make Stills charge, with the frustration letting Iron chop away.

Stills is so annoyed that he goes outside and kicks the post, which just makes things worse. The chase is on outside, as commentary suggests Iron’s arm is messed up because of a bullfight gone wrong. Back in and an Irish Curse gives Stills two before it’s time to crank on both arms. A missed charge in the corner doesn’t do much for Iron as Stills crotches him on top. Stills grabs a torture rack but the referee yells at him a bit too much. That’s enough for Stills, who shoves the referee for the DQ at 7:40.

Rating: C-. This was ok at best, as Iron as a bullfighter was a cool visual but I didn’t need to see it for nearly eight minutes. Stills was little more than a hothead, which isn’t going to be enough to keep the interest going for that long. That’s kind of the theme for the whole show and I can’t say I’m all that surprised as it is kind of a one note concept.

Post match Iron fights up and knocks Stills to the floor.

Aiden Prince vs. Feline Blanco

Prince would wind up in Impact and is royalty here. Blanco gets kicked in the ribs to start but he starts picking up the pace and hits a quick splash. A shot to the face is enough to send Prince outside as commentary talks about “the lucha door style”. Prince pulls him outside for a ram into a support post and they fight into the crowd for a bit. Well fight is a bit of a stretch, as it’s Prince beating him around the arena.

Back in and a running crotch attack to the back of the neck gives Prince two so it’s time to choke. Blanco fights up and hits a springboard crossbody, followed by a dropkick to put Prince on the floor. There’s a suicide dive but Prince runs him over again back inside. Prince gets a bit too confident though and it’s a sunset flip to give Blanco the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C. Another match that was perfectly watchable but not something that I would need to see again anytime soon. Prince has a good look and Feline is a run of the mill luchador, but that isn’t quite enough to blow your mind. It didn’t help that this one wasn’t very heavy on the gimmicks so there wasn’t much to get excited about here.

Intermission.

Jody Nation vs. Kate Carney

Nation is the ax wielding spinster from earlier. Carney on the other hand has a sailor named Josh in her corner. She’s about to sing something but Nation charges at her because that isn’t going to happen. Nation is sent outside and doesn’t seem happy when Carney takes off some of her clothes to reveal her gear (which is nothing out of the ordinary).

The chase is on outside before they head back inside with Carney taunting her with various flesh. Commentator: “I’m going to need a double scotch rocks and a pack of Lucky Strikes”. Nation comes back with a slam as commentary talks about a young comedian named Bob Hope. Carney fights up and runs her over but here is the Senator and agent from earlier, allowing Nation to hit her with the ax. A middle rope ax handle gives Nation the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C-. The idea here made all the sense in the world as you have someone who wants things conservative and simple while the woman was showing about as much skin as she would on the beach. That being said, there hasn’t been what I would consider a very good or even very above average match on the show yet and this was another example.

Lobby Legislators Of An Anti-Saloon Land vs. Purple Gang

That would be Representative Gavin Q. Volstead/Senator Cameron S. Smith vs. Abe Bernstein/Nate Axler, or government vs. mob. The fans are all behind the Gang as Voldstead and Axler start things off. Bernstein shoulders him down and dropkicks Smith for a bonus to put them both on the floor. Back in and it’s off to Bernstein, who seems to be the muscle.

The Legislators get tied in the ropes and punched into the teeter totter spot. With that broken up, the Legislators manage to pull them outside for a posting to take over. Back in and a double suplex drops Axler but he fights up and hands it back to Bernstein for the house cleaning.

A double clothesline/shoulder/I can’t believe it matters runs the Legislators over and a powerslam gets two on Volstead. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped. Cue the sailor from the previous match with a life preserver to the head of Volstead, which draws out Jody Nation for the save. Kate Carney cuts her off and Volstead hits Smith with a boot by mistake. Bernstein drops a leg for the pin at 13:46.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better matches of the night, which granted isn’t the biggest accomplishment. It’s also a bit surprising that this wasn’t the main event, as the whole prohibition vs. booze seems to be the main story of the show. What we got was a pretty good match, though it was hardly an instant classic.

Olde Wrestling World Title: RJ Metropolis vs. Matthew Cross

Cross, better known as Matt Cross of course, is defending and it’s 2/3 falls. Metropolis, a rather popular silent film star is slightly known as RJ City. Thankfully the belt does look like an old boxing title for the right flavor. Feeling out process to start with Cross getting the better of things early on. A bearhug has Metropolis in trouble and a whip across the ring has Metropolis down and holding his knee. Believe it or not, Metropolis is in fact goldbricking and it’s a rollup for the first fall in less than five minutes.

Hold on though as Metropolis wants a five minute break, because it’s time for him to go outside, construct, and sit in a director’s chair. The delay draws Cross out and Metropolis gets in a cheap shot to take over back inside. Now it’s time for Metropolis to pull out….one of those snapping slates that you see when movies are being made and people say TAKE ONE. After an alleged pinch of the nose and a running slap in the corner, Cross has had enough and comes back with a running forearm.

A backbreaker ties it up at a fall apiece and Metropolis heads back to the floor for a seat in his chair. They brawl on the floor before beating the count back in, where Metropolis takes him down again. A fan helps put the chair inside and Metropolis sits down while grabbing the sleeper. Cross fights out and hits a running boot for two before having a seat himself. Metropolis tries a piledriver but gets caught in a fireman’s carry.

That leaves Cross so confused that he puts the referee in it as well, as apparently the airplane spin makes you blind as well as dizzy. Then the referee gives Metropolis one and all three do a Flair Flop. Back up and Metropolis rolls him up for two but Cross is fine enough to tie up an arm and a leg at the same time for the win at 16:24.

Rating: B-. Cross is a talented guy and Metropolis did well as the film star, but this felt like a tacked on match without much importance. I’m not sure if the match was referenced more than once or twice throughout the show and Cross didn’t really have a character outside of “champion”. Best wrestling on the show, but also the least interesting match.

Overall Rating: C. This is a weird show as it’s built around one concept, but the problem is that concept loses its charm fairly quickly. Eventually the gag gets a bit old and you’re left with a voice on commentary that runs out of jokes and matches that are only ok. It isn’t a bad show, but it’s a show that feels like an idea that would work a lot better as an hour at most rather than a full event. Some of the characters were funny and commentary had some good lines, but this wasn’t as fun as I was expecting, at least not after about thirty minutes in.

 

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FTF X
Date: October 4, 2019
Location: Oakland Metro Operahouse, Oakland, California
Commentator: Joe Brody

This is from Hoodslam, and to give you an idea of what is going on here, one of the company’s mottos is “don’t bring your f****** kids”. In this case, the FTF stands for F*** THE FANS and this card features Drugz Bunny and the Stoner Brothers (Rick and Scott). I have no idea what I’m getting myself into here so let’s get to it.

Note that I have never seen anything from this promotion before so I have no idea on storylines or characters.

A masked man in black and white tells us about an upcoming show in Sacramento.

The opening video talks about reality and features people smoking, uh, something illegal in various states, and lifting weights. This however, I believe meaning the show, is real.

The house band wants us to be censored excited. Music is played.

Here is our host, Broseph Joe Brody, who loves Axe body spray and Nickelback. You might remember him as AJ Kirsch from one of the last seasons of Tough Enough but he’s a bit better suited here. Middle fingers and F*** YOU BROs ensue as the fans either love the guy or want to kill him. He welcomes us to F*** THE FANS, which is what the fans start chanting. After running down the main event, he introduces the band (Squad Stewart), which has to be cut off from singing Rod Stewart. This is the accidental phenomenon, because this is HOODSLAM!

Broseph gives the fans some booze as the band plays some more, this time about how you shouldn’t bring your f****** kids.

Our first match is a drowning match so here is Otto Von Clutch as our special lifeguard.

Stoner Brothers vs. The Caution

That would be Rick Scott/Scott Rick (I said that right) Stoner (I think you get the idea) vs. Anton Vorhees/Dark Sheik. The Brothers come out to a song called Stonerized and are both smoking in and out of the ring. Since the referee is a lifeguard, we’ll start with a whistle instead of a bell. The Caution is knocked down to start and Vorhees is tossed into a powerbomb. They head outside to keep up the beating but it’s too early for the drowning (in one of the water filled buckets).

Anton gets some water in his mouth to spit in the Brothers’ eyes (Brody: “Do you know how badly water in the eyes burns? Shut up.”) and uses Scott as a launchpad for a hurricanrana to Rick. The drowning attempt is blocked but so is Rick’s double chokeslam attempt. Scott gets his brother’s head out of the water, allowing Rick to toss Sheik back into the ring but she sticks the landing and kicks Rick in the head.

Sheik gets powerbombed over the top into a German suplex as Brody insists on safety third. Back up and Sheik hits a top rope stomp onto Scott, setting up a Codebreaker to Rick. Multiple elbow drops keep the Brothers down but Scott is up with a double clothesline to the back of the head. Anton fights out of the water bucket and the Brothers hit each other by mistake.

Hold on though as he has an idea: a trip to the back lets him come back with a blue tunic and Link hat, which lets him breathe underwater (if you’re not a Zelda fan, ignore this). After the Zora splash, Anton has to save Sheik from being drowned, allowing her to hit a low blow. Scott is drowned for the win at 11:12.

Rating: C+. The stoner stuff isn’t for me, but the Zelda references had me cracking up more than once. If nothing else, this gives me an idea of what to expect from the show and I’m looking forward to it a lot more, so well done on the opener. The blue tunic was the icing on the cake and I had a great time with this, as ridiculous as it was.

Post match, Rick gives Scott the Heimlich to bring him back to life, with even Brody not being sure about that.

Brody gives the fans the code word in case the cops show up.

Best Athlete In The East Bay Title: Sweet Boone vs. Matt Carlos

Boone is defending (the golden fanny pack) and this is an I Quit match. Brody doesn’t seem to get Carlos, who waves his arms and head around a lot. On the other hand, he does get Boone dog Little BJ, who happens to be invisible. Boone is also the sheriff so he deputizes some fans. Carlos drives him into the ropes to start but gets hit in the face for his efforts.

Thankfully the referee remembers that grabbing the rope means nothing, with Brody talking about how there are no pinfalls or countouts, before realizing that they never have countouts around here. Boone pulls him down into a pretty bad looking ankle lock, which is countered into a headlock with some right hands to the face. A crucifix doesn’t get Boone anywhere so he switches to something like a reverse Koji Clutch. Boone switches to a half nelson, which is pretty easily reversed into a Crossface.

Boone says Booners Never Quit so he slips out and grabs the bad (I think we might have an intentional pattern here) ankle lock again. Back up and they go to the apron, with the fans shoving Boone back up from falling into the crowd. Boone switches places with him and dropkicks Carlos tot he floor, where there is no catch. A flip dive from the apron (complete with finger guns) drops Carlos again (Brody: “And f*** the fans, not of them can’t see.”). Carlos is back up with a DDT onto the apron and steps on Boone’s head for another NO.

Brody laughs at a fan for trying a CARLOS chant as Carlos goes to get something. This time it’s lighter fluid but Boone takes it away….and pours it on himself. Carlos is a bit freaked out but gets more annoyed when the referee gets knocked down. With Boone knocked down again, Carlos heads backstage and comes back with….a knife. They fight over said knife, but it eventually gets knocked to the floor.

The referee is FINALLY helped up and here is a former champion (Richard Schhhary. Get it?), whose arm is bandaged (after Little BJ bit him). Therefore, Schhhary steals Little BJ and puts him in a bag, which he then covers in lighter fluid. Brody: “YOU CAN’T! YOU WON’T! YOU WOULDN’T!” Boone begs him not to do it but since he can’t go through the ropes for the save, Carlos grabs a Crossface and Boone quits at 18:48 so he can save the dog.

Rating: C. This went WAY too long and it killed what momentum they had. You knew the dog was going to be involved in the finish in some way and they telegraphed the heck out of it. Granted on a show like this, teasing the invisible dog being lit on fire is something that fits perfectly. Boone and Carlos didn’t do much for me and the match needed to be shorter, but it could have been worse.

Schhhary steals the dog anyway and Carlos celebrates for a LONG time. Boone isn’t done though, and wants Schhhary in a beard vs. mustache match in two weeks.

Golden Gig Title: El Chupacabra vs. Joey Nuggs

Chupacabra is defending (with the title represented by a golden razor blade necklace), I believe the top title in the promotion. The referee, named Wiggles, gets a special entrance as well. Nuggs is a rather large karate guy, who doesn’t look like he does much karate. Chupacabra has a long entrance but hold on as here is Da Squaaad (that’s how it’s spelled).

They want to make this a bit bigger, so let’s make it a Dog Collar match. After a long time spent setting up the collar, Chupacabra chops away to start but gets powered into the corner without much effort. A knee to the ribs cuts Chupacabra down and it’s already time to choke on the ropes. Chupacabra slugs away but gets dropped with an elbow (or COMBO BREAKER according to Brody) as a fight breaks out in the crowd.

Nuggs takes him outside for a slam on the floor but Chupacabra is right back in to slug away. Some Cannonballs in the corner crush Nuggs and Chupacabra goes up, only to get pulled down by the collar. Chupacabra is able to send him back out to the apron but gets knocked down hard.

Nuggs goes up (with Brody telling the fans not to touch him) and misses a splash 9with the camera cutting away on the lack of impact for some reason. The referee starts the count, with Brody telling fans to shout random number to confuse him. Chupacabra is back up with Sliced Bread for two so he chokes Nuggs with the collar for the pin at 12:12.

Rating: C-. Much like the previous match, this one went on too long and it overstayed its welcome. The collar stuff was used, but they could have had a similar match without the gimmick in place. I’m not sure if this feels like a top level title match, but then again I don’t think this is your normal promotion. Neither guy looked particularly impressive though, and that hurt things a good bit.

Post match Nuggs, with his throat all messed up, yells at Brody and the fans for daring to try to talk to him after he got choked out. A lot of swearing ensues, with even Brody thinking it’s a bit much.

The referee comes out for the next match and apparently has to dance whenever Brody sings James Brown.

Intergalactic Tag Team Titles: Drugz Bunny/Cereal Man vs. Da Squaaad

Bunny/Man are defending (the titles have skulls in the middle) and the Squaaad is Hip Hop Harry/D-Rogue/Kenny K/Shakira Spears. Cereal is about five cereal mascots mixed together, and comes out to a song about holding out for a hero with several cereal properties. Bunny on the other hand is The Rabbit With A Habit and pours out some white powder before the match.

Hold on though, as the Squaaad says that since this is their show (I guess?), we’re doing this 4-2. The champs start fast and hit Harry with a double flapjack, followed by a DDT from Cereal. A legdrop hits Harry so the rest of the Squaaad comes in for the save. Brody: “All these f****** gimmicks.” Kenny comes in with a backbreaker to Bunny and it’s D-Rogue coming in to run him over again. Harry adds a springboard back elbow and Shakira comes in for some stomping.

A backdrop finally gets Bunny out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Cereal to clean house. Cereal hits a sidewalk slam on Harry and bulldogs Kenny onto him as everything breaks down. Bunny bicycle kicks Kenny down and Cereal Stuns Harry for…..not the pin as the Squaaad says not so fast. See, D-Rogue forgot: it’s elimination rules (for Da Squaaad, not for the champs). Kenny stands on Cereal’s back and then drops down on him with a splash for two. A running knee in the corner sets up a Cannonball for two more on Cereal as frustration is setting in.

Cereal gets up a boot in the corner though and it’s a butterfly suplex to give him a breather. The double tag brings in Bunny and Spears, the latter of whom gets kicked down. D-Rogue comes in for the save and slams Bunny, setting up a moonsault from Kenny (which lands on Bunny’s head) for two, with Cereal making the save. A Hart Attack gets rid of Spears though and we’re down to 2-2. We get the big staredown and Bunny gives Kenny an RKO. Cereal is taken down though and the Big Rig hits Bunny for the pin and the titles at 14:05.

Rating: B-. This is the same idea you have seen time after time and that is not a bad idea. It has been done for years because it is something that works so well. This is a case of screwing the fans over and it worked well, because it is a classic concept. Fans are not going to like cheaters and that is what happened here, especially after they lost in the first place. Good stuff here, even with the joke from the champs losing its spark pretty fast.

Oh and one more thing: Hip Hop Harry only has one leg. Not too shabby.

Post match Brody is a big scared of the Squaaad but does give a bit of serious analysis to what we just saw.

With Da Squaaad gone, Brody thanks the ban and gets a big barrel and beach ball for some beer pong with the fans. Some fans shoot from the crowd and get a beer if they hit. Nice way to fill in some time as the band plays. Brody has some beer of his own and suggests that he’ll have more later.

Since the main event is big, he brings out Wonder Dave as his guest commentator.

Rumble Of Rankings Ramifications

This is a Royal Rumble with 30(ish, Brody’s term) entities involved and the winner getting a Golden Gig shot next month. Glorious Banana a man in a banana suit who comes out to Robert Roode’s old theme, is in at #1 and Funnybone, a guy in skeleton paint, is in at #2 and we have 90 second intervals. They forearm it out and trade shoulders with Funnybone getting the better of things. Otto Von Clutch is in at #3 and gets in a staredown with Funnybone. That’s fine with Funnybone, who knocks him down but Banana is back up for some double teaming in the corner.

Batmanuel (I think you get the idea) is in at #4 and gets in a staredown with Von Clutch, whose offer of an alliance isn’t accepted. A running shoulder in the corner has Von Clutch in trouble and it’s Marcelo Montoya in at #5 (with the fans providing the buzzer sounds) for a springboard knee to Batmanuel. The fans chant SAFETY THIRD as everyone brawls until D-Rogue is in at #6.

Batmanuel was put out somewhere in there and Joey Smoak is in at #7. Brody: “I just heard a fan say don’t bruise the banana. That joke was a lot of things but one thing it wasn’t was appealing.” Smoak is sent to the apron but not out and it’s James C (thankfully not a Jim Cornette parody) in at #8. The smoking James comes in and offers fans his cigarette until it’s Johnny Drinko Butabi is in at #9 as the ring is getting way too full.

Smoak is on the floor, though it isn’t clear if he is out, even as Funnybone chops at a bunch of people. Batmanuel is back in and it’s Juice Lee at in #10 as Banana is out. Von Clutch is out as well as the ring is a bit less full. Brittany Wonder (no word on if she is any relation to Wonder Dave, or Wonder Boy, the latter of whom has nothing to do with wrestling) is in at #11 and gets to clean house, including a spinning DDT to James C.

Big B is in at #12 and Batmanuel is kicked out for an elimination. The fans are VERY happy with that, though not so enthusiastic when they find out Montoya was eliminated off camera. Neil “The Thrill” Harper is in at #13 and everything settles back down. Otis The Gimp is in at #14 as this match is starting to die a bit. After another batch of nothing, Christopher Torres is in at #15.

HBKen (and yes he has his own version of Shawn Michaels’ theme) is in at #16 and yes, he is based on the Ken from Street Fighter. Commentary thinks someone might have been eliminated but isn’t sure who so we’ll move on to Brutal Bob Hands in at #17. Hands, who is rather small, hits a chokeslam and then tosses Torres. Brittany is left laying on the mat and it’s Master Eriks (a ringmaster) in at #18.

Harper is tossed as there must have been some eliminations off camera as the ring is nowhere near full enough. Hands and James are tossed and it’s Matt Carlos in at #19. Funnybone is still in and hits a bid give onto a bunch of people. Then he does it again for a bonus but makes sure to go through the ropes. Then he grabs Banana, who is still at ringside with a bunch of other people, as Lee is knocked off the top and into a moonsault onto the pile on the floor. That’s not an elimination as he went through the ropes, even as it’s Hip Hop Harry in at #20.

Eriks is out and it’s Kenny K in at #21 to keep Da Squaaad strong. Bison Braddock is in at #22 and commentary makes a correction by saying that Lee WAS eliminated earlier. Brody says Braddock is #21 and I can’t imagine it matters that much. Shakira Spears is in at #23 to complete Da Squaaad as you can tell the people in the ring are getting a bit tired. Richard Schhhary is in at #24 and starts in with some paper cuts to be a real….never mind.

Drugs Bunny is in at #25 and maybe he can get things hopping. Big B is out and commentary ignores it as Bart-Man is in at #26. Simpsons jokes about as Bart-Man chokes Carlos and it’s Sweet Boone in at #27. He goes straight after Schhhary and gets rid of him, only to give chance and eliminate himself. Steven Tresario is in at #28 and Otis likes Shakira chopping him. Things slow down again….and it’s Team Rocket (Jesse and James, complete with Pokemon speech and costumes) in at #29/30.

As the Pokemon jokes abound, Thicc Martel, the Plus Sized Model (I laughed) is in at #31 to complete the field (I think?). Tersario is out and it’s….Broseph Joe Brody in at #32. He jumps over the top rope and is thrown out by James, sending him into a great rant. Team Rocket tossed out Martel and there’s a 3D to Carlos. Spears eliminates Drinko but and there goes Carlos with him.

There goes Bart-Man but Spears spears Team Rocket down. Bunny tosses Spears though and we’re down to Bunny, Jesse, James and Funnybone. A low blow isn’t enough to get rid of Bunny as he skins the cat back in, only to have James stomp him in the face. James actually tosses Bunny but it’s Funnybone up with a double noggin knocker. A double clothesline finally gets rid of Funnybone though and Team Rocket shares the win at 53:03.

Rating: D. I love a good Royal Rumble but that was not the case here. This went on WAY too long and the lack of acknowledging a bunch of the eliminations didn’t help. There were a few jokes that worked (Thicc Martel was hilarious) and Brody’s rant after being eliminated was great, but this went far too long and the jokes weren’t frequent enough to keep my interest. Cut the intervals down to a minute (at most) and it’s better, but for a show that is supposed to be a lot of fun, I was badly tuning out by the end out of pure boredom.

Brody thanks us for coming out and hits the catchphrase one more time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a weird one, as the concept is a lot of fun and there were some genuine laugh/cheer out loud moments on this show. The Zelda stuff and Thicc Martel were good gags and the Steinerized parody was downright inspired. It is a feeling that works really well, though then you get to the problem: this show is three hours and twenty minutes long.

Now I can get that this would be very different as it’s a party atmosphere (and the booze/various substances probably helped) and way more fun in person, but my goodness this show needed to be about 30 (or more) minutes shorter. That main event was pretty close to horrible and I was begging for the thing to end. At some point the thing needs to wrap up and this show didn’t seem to get that at times. There is a lot of fun to be had, but this needed to be about two and a half hours max, not pushing three and a half.

One more thing: if this is something that you might want to check out (and it is REALLY fun at times), note that it is absolutely an adult show with a lot of language and crude jokes. It’s definitely something you need to be in the right company for, as hearing/seeing some of this out of context/by someone you might not want seeing it could be quite the problem.

 

 

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Psycho Circus 17
Date: February 23, 2019
Location: NYWC Sportatorium, Deer Park, New York
Commentators: Christopher Andrews, Matt Striker

This is from the New York Wrestling Connection, a promotion out of New York (shocking I know) that has been around for almost twenty years. As is usually the case, I know nothing about the show coming in and that can make things fun. Granted I’m not sure how much fun a show called Psycho Circus is going to be but let’s get to it.

Keep in mind that I know nothing about this place coming in so I’m not going to have any idea about characters or storylines.

The unnamed hosts welcome us to the show and we’ve got a concept to start: a SAFE SPACE match.

Beer Belly Bandits vs. Shook Crew

That would be Bo Prichard/JT Kasin/Spyder vs. Bobby Orlando/Bryce Donovan/Max Caster (there’s a surprise, along with his rather awesome mustache) and….egads Matt freaking Striker is doing commentary for this nearly three hour show. Freaking joy. There is a table in the ring with a bunch of red Solo cups, plus some trashcans. Hold on though as Caster has a mic and seems to be a hype man for Orlando.

Coach Mammone is here to read the rules, which says there will be NO violence in the ring, but rather only fun, safe games. If you break the rules, you get a strike, and three strikes means you’re out. The coach gets punched down and the Bandits head outside as Striker realizes he screwed up by calling this a battle royal. Seriously, why does this guy keep getting hired?

The Bandits get back inside and we start with a game of throwing a Frisbee into a trashcan. Hold on though as the Frisbee winds up in the crowd, meaning the brawl can head to the floor. Everyone gets back inside and now let’s play some beer pong. This results in the Bandits having to drink a lot….until one of them throws a bowling ball through the table. This turns into a tug of war over Caster, who backdrops the referee into an accidental powerbomb.

The brawling is on with the Crew getting the better of things, including with a pillow shot to the face. Spyder gets Orlando to the ramp as Striker wonders how this is a safe space. Hold on though as the Crew goes under the ring, but Swoggle (not Hornswoggle, Striker) comes out to chase them back inside. It’s time to bust out the bubble wrap, with Orlando being powerbombed….well next to a goat (of some kind).

That’s good for a cover but Caster comes from the back with Officer Warren Barksdale. The Bandits are in violent of the safe space, meaning Prichard is handcuffed. This allows Striker to make jokes about the Mueller Report as the Crew wraps Kasin in bubble wrap for the pin at 10:09.

Rating: D+. I guess that counts as a match? Maybe? I’m not sure what to make of something like this because it was mainly a joke that went on for a long time without much of a payoff. This is something that probably shouldn’t have opened the show, though there is a good chance that they did this first so they didn’t have to worry about setting everything up later. That doesn’t mean it’s worth seeing or even having, though Caster as a low level guy on a low level show is cool to see.

The ring has to be cleared.

Joker’s Wild Battle Royal

There are several entrants here and since the audio isn’t great, their names aren’t exactly easy to understand. A few highlights: Officer Warren Barksdale, an unnamed woman, and Swoggle, among about fifteen other entrants. Swoggle is left in the middle of the ring as everyone starts fighting around him as we’re told the winner gets….uh, something that we don’t hear, as Swoggle punches the whistling Coach Mammette in the face.

That makes Mammone take off his pants but it’s time for everyone to go after the huge Apollyon and dump him out. Commentary finally gets to reveal that it’s a title shot on the line as everyone brawls on the ropes without much of a threat of an elimination. People are being tossed out with commentary not mentioning them as Swoggle has a drink. We’re down to eight after about four minutes and some more guys are tossed, leaving us with four.

J Rad (Maybe?) is eliminated via a bite from Swoggle, leaving us with Swoggle, Irish, and someone not important enough to name. Swoggle is back up with some German suplexes tot he guy who isn’t named Irish. The toss takes too long though, allowing the guy not named Irish to stomp away on the very banged up Irish in the corner. Apparently it’s Tinder Tom (what a name), who takes Swoggle down but gets sat on the apron. Irish eventually forearms Tom out, leaving Irish vs. Swoggle (I wonder if that counts as a civil war). Hold on though as Swoggle eliminates himself, telling Irish to win the title at 9:40.

Rating: D. I know the idea of a battle royal is to be wild and follows the idea of the one standing, but it doesn’t help much when you aren’t told who most of the people are or what they are fighting for until a few minutes in. Most of the wrestlers were not named here and it made things more than a little uninteresting. Swoggle not winning was a bit of a surprise, but I have no idea who these people are or why I should care about them winning.

We see some clips of Matt Striker in a NYWC ring over the years. Of note: they’re airing this on the video screen and pointing the camera at it for the budget version. Apparently he and someone named Mike Mistretta don’t like each other and get to fight here.

Matt Striker vs. Mike Mistretta

Mistretta has a manager and a tag team (they were in the battle royal) with him and seems to be the villain. If they think I’m going to cheer for Striker, this place is crazier than I thought. Feeling out process to start as Striker is indeed the favorite here, which is still bizarre to see. Striker takes him to the mat and neither can get very far. Instead they interlock their legs and stand on their heads for a slap off, which doesn’t last long. As commentary talks about Striker having a 90s Aaron Carter hair cut, Striker rolls him up and grabs a slam out of the corner.

The manager offers a distraction to break up a Fujiwara armbar and that’s good for an ejection. The tag team is out as well, leaving it one on one. Mistretta jumps over him in the corner but gets pulled into a rear naked choke. As Striker looks over his shoulder, the manager and the tag team come back with a chair but get held back by the referee. The distraction lets a rather big man come in and chokeslam Striker so Mistretta can get the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C-. It was ok while it lasted but a good chink of the match was spent on the interference and shenanigans. That being said, seeing Striker get beaten up is a nice thing. At the same time though, this company REALLY needs to work on its commentary, as they were too busy cracking jokes to explain anything going on here. It seems like there is a story, but when we don’t even hear the names of the people involved, there are some gaps left to fill.

The villains pose over Striker in a nice touch. Striker stays down for a LONG time, which has been a theme after the matches so far.

Papadon/Talon vs. New York Wrecking Crew

The Crew (second one of the night) is Chris Seaton/Smoothie Blackmon. It’s a brawl to start with the Crew clearing the ring, though Papadon and Talon bail from the threat of dives. Seaton hits a suicide dive of his own and we head back inside for the opening bell (I thought I missed it). Talon shoves Seaton down to take over and a Falcon Arrow gives Talon two. It’s off to Papadon, who holds off a sunset flip long enough to bring Talon back in to cut Seaton off.

A snap suplex gives Papadon two, causing commentary to say “shades of someone we can’t talk about but no one did it better.” Talon comes back in with a slingshot elbow and the chinlock goes on to keep Seaton in trouble. With that broken up, it’s a quick tag to the bigger Blackmon to clean house. A spinebuster gets two on Papadon, who gets caught between some alternating right hands. Papadon bites his way to freedom and Seaton is sent outside, leaving Blackmon to get spike piledriver for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: C. Rather odd to hear reference aside, this was a rather formula based tag match and that didn’t make for the most interesting stuff. I’ve seen Blackmon elsewhere and he got to showcase some of his talents rather well here, though he was really just the hot tag guy. Papadon and Talon worked pretty well together, even if the match wasn’t exactly on fire.

We look at the screen for another video, this time from someone we can’t hear about something we can’t understand. It seems like we have some former partners fighting after one turned on the other. Fair enough.

Blake Morrison vs. Bam Sullivan

Before the match, Morrison tells Sullivan to get out here and shake his hand so this is over. Sullivan starts fast and hammers away in the corner before dumping Morrison out to the floor. Morrison is sent outside, where a slingshot dive drops him again. They slug it out on the ramp until Sullivan hits a backdrop over the top. The referee has to take away a chair so Sullivan throws in the steps and poses a bit.

That takes longer than it should, allowing Morrison to boot him out to the floor. Back in and we hit the chinlock but Sullivan is right back up with a suplex slam. Morrison is able to pull him off the top for a big crash but Sullivan gets back up for a missile dropkick. The discus lariat drops Morrison again and a Razor’s Edge gives Sullivan two.

Sullivan hits a spear on the referee by mistake, but since he underestimates his own abilities, he knocks Morrison down and still expects a count. Cue some of Sullivan’s friends with a chair but Morrison grabs a mic and offers Sullivan peace one more time. Then Sullivan’s friends turn on him with the chair, allowing Morrison to grab a Tombstone for the pin at 10:09.

Rating: C. It was nice to have a bigger angle like this on the show as it hasn’t been the easiest thing to get into so far. This felt like a betrayal and that is something that almost anyone is going to be able to understand. The match came off like two guys who wanted to hurt each other two and that is going to boost things up. Neither exactly stood out, though Morrison was a nice squirrely heels.

Big O vs. Randy Summers

You might remember Big O (a huge musclehead) as Zack Ryder’s friends on his internet series. Summers has a rather energetic entrance and spins around a lot once he gets in the ring. They stare at each other to start and it’s Summers bailing to the floor. Back in and O powers his way out of a headlock without much trouble and a sleeper gives Summers the same amount of success.

Some shoulders and a running clothesline in the corner have Summers in more trouble, until he goes after O’s recently injured ankle. The leg is wrapped around the post and Summers gets to pose a lot. O uses the good leg to kick him away, only to have Summers go after the leg again. A springboard cutter (nice one too) gets two on O and the ankle lock goes on. What appears to be a tap (pretty clearly too) is apparently O reaching for the ropes so Summers goes up and misses a top rope stomp.

O’s leg gives out on a powerslam though and a running knee gives Summers two. The leg is fine enough to pull Summers out of the air for the powerslam but the pain means it’s a delayed two instead. Summers is right back with the ankle lock, complete with a grapevine, but O makes the rope again. Back up and Summers charges into a spinebuster for the pin (with O picking up the arm for some reason) at 9:56.

Rating: C+. When you have someone who looks like O, you don’t really expect much in the way of quality, but it worked out nicely here. They told a story with Summers taking out the leg to slow O down but not being able to do enough to keep him down. This was a nice surprise and O has actually developed into something of a wrestler rather than just a bodybuilder with a chokeslam.

Post match Summers suggests that he has a concussion off the spinebuster. Summers calls O a good guy who is nice to everyone backstage. O doesn’t look pleased and it gets worse as Summers talks about his brother getting hurt in a car wreck. After the wreck, O came to see him and made him feel great again, because that’s the kind of man he is. They go for a hug and Summers kicks him low for a heck of a heel turn. That one got me so well done.

John Silver vs. Mike Verna vs. Aidan Baal vs. Jaden Valo vs. Corey Cooper vs. Joey Conway

One fall to a finish and the winner gets an Independent Wrestling TV Title shot. Thankfully everyone gets an entrance and we have tags here as commentary tries to figure out why this is called a SUICIDAL SIX WAY. Valo gets jumped by Baal from behind but it’s off to Verna to knock Baal to the floor. It seems that we’re having lucha rules here so Conway comes in with a clothesline and a moonsault.

Verna kicks away at Conway until Silver comes in and literally tosses people around to clean house. A big dive drops a bunch of people but Conway’s version takes out even more. That leaves Verna to go up top for a big flip dive, with Valo following with a top rope moonsault onto the pile. Back in and Valo goes Delaware with a froggy bow for two on Verna but Cooper makes the save. Verna fireman’s carries both of them, but Silver German suplexes all three at once (geez), earning the right to pose.

Standing Sliced Bread drops Conway and one heck of a frog splash gives Silver two on Baal (the fans aren’t thrilled with that kickout). Commentary points out that Baal has split his pants as Conway hits a backpack Stunner for two on Silver. Verna hits a powerbomb/World’s Strongest Slam combination for two as Cooper is back in with a 450 to Verna, with Baal making the save. Valo gets to clean some house but Conway picks him up. That just lets Silver toss the two of them, causing Valo to Canadian Destroyer Conway. One heck of a running knee gives Silver the pin and the title shot at 8:23.

Rating: C+. Silver would go on to become the biggest star out of this group and that isn’t a surprise. He has the charisma that you can’t teach and that power game is enough to get him really far. Throw in the unique look and it’s easy to understand why he has been so successful. Verna was the only other one that stood out here and I could go for a bit more of him too.

Independent Wrestling TV Title: John Silver vs. Orange Cassidy

Silver is challenging and has to dodge the lazy kicks to start. Cassidy ducks some slow motion lefts and rights as commentary asks why Silver isn’t going for the legs. With the hands still in the pockets, Cassidy flips over him and nails a dropkick into a nipup (which commentary says “makes Shawn Michaels jealous”.).

Silver takes him down and forces the hands out of the pockets, setting up a hard clothesline. They head outside with Silver being sent into the barricade, setting up a top rope DDT for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same and it’s time to start on Silver’s leg. The leg is fine enough for a brainbuster and they’re both down.

Back up and Cassidy goes slow again, allowing Silver to strike away. Another brainbuster is countered into a Stunner, setting up a Canadian Destroyer to give Cassidy two. With nothing else working, Cassidy goes over to get some orange juice but Silver knocks it away. Silver goes to pick him up but the knee gives out, allowing Cassidy to grab la majistral for the pin at 10:02.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad, as Cassidy only did his shtick at the beginning and then got things back to seriousness. He’s still fun to watch as a novelty act like this, which is probably why I got tired of him in a hurry in AEW. Silver continues to be a blast to watch as he is such a ball of charisma. If he was six inches taller, he would be a star.

Respect is shown post match.

We’re cut to a bit later, as a….something has been set up. There is one wall of a cage, one wall of barbed wire, and one chain above the top rope with weapons hanging above. This is the Psycho Circus, so there’s your namesake match.

NYWC World Title/Starlet Title/Fusion Title/Tag Team Titles: Team Bull James vs. The Culture

Ok, this is a BIG one.

The Culture (King Mega – World Title, Brandon Watts – Rush Title, Dave McCall/Nate Carter – Tag Team Champions, Willow Nightingale – Starlet Title and Kris Bishop, who isn’t a champion) is defending (as in ALL titles are on the line) against Bull James/Bran Benson/CJ Benson/Kris Statlander/Mouse/Rex Lawless. Whenever anyone pins anyone, the two of them are eliminated and that title has been decided.

The match is basically WarGames with timed entrances, with James starting with Watts and heading to the floor to hide. Watts gets back in and gets annoyed at the idea of being sent into something, meaning it’s time for more stalling. Back in and Watts goes for a kendo stick but gets knocked to the floor as James glares down at him again. James finally gets his hands on Watts for a running splash in the corner but time expires. Kris Bishop is in to give the Culture an advantage for two minutes, but James clotheslines both of them down.

A slingshot Codebreaker drops James though and it’s Rex Lawless (he’s a big guy) to clean house as things are evened up. The Culture gets Samoan dropped/fall away slammed at the same time but it’s Nate Carter in to uneven the odds again. Carter also brings in a baseball bat to start hammering on people until Kris Statlander comes in to clean house as well. James hits Carter low with the bat but it’s Dave McCall in to make it 4-3.

McCall uses the cookie sheet to take over and a Coast to Coast makes it worse. CJ Benson comes in and makes the save but McCall/Carter hit Cryme Tyme’s G9. Willow Nightingale is in and gets in the face of Lawless, who towers over her. Then she kisses him, as the two seem to be an tiem. Then Nightingale hits him low and pours tacks in his mouth, because you have to have tacks. A superkick to the mouth makes it worse and there’s a Death Valley Driver into the ladder in the corner to keep Lawless down.

Brad Benson is in to even things up and hits a big dive off the cage to take off most of the people at the same time. Cue King Mega to complete the Culture and, after taking over a minute to get to the ring (with a grocery bag of something), it’s time for a bunch of chokeslams. Statlander gets a drink of something and spits it in Mega’s face, earning herself a powerbomb. Now it’s Mouse (with a stick) coming in to really clean house as everyone is in.

Bishop and Mouse fight over the stick until Bishop puts him on the top. Mouse kicks him away and gets the stick back. Mega doesn’t mind as it’s a huge chokeslam, allowing Bishop to pin Mouse for the elimination. Statlander is back with the Legos and a dropkick knocks Mega onto them for the painful looking landing. Watts and Nightingale launch Statlander into the cage but the Bensons make a save with various metal objects. CJ loads up a ladder and goes up….because the Tag Team Titles are up there? Sure why not.

Lawless goes up but gets shoved down onto nothing, seemingly crashing out to the floor. The Bensons hit an assisted moonsault onto Carter but McCall is back up with a shot to Brad’s head. The big ladder is brought in, with Brad driving it into McCall’s ribs against the cage. McCall and Carter make a save though and it’s a powerbomb to drive CJ through Brad to put the Bensons down. That’s enough for Carter and McCall to go up and pull down the titles to get rid of the two of them, plus the Bensons (thankfully clearing things WAY out).

Statlander comes back with the skewers to Nightingale’s head (because of course), setting up an ax kick to get rid of Nightingale and win the Starlets Title. That leaves us with Mega/Watts vs. Lawless/James, with the latter loading up the table in the corner. James punches Mega and Watts down but Mega is back up with a hiptoss through the table for two. Watts adds a frog splash for two so James goes after Mega, only to get rolled up by Watts for the pin.

That leaves us with Mega vs. Lawless for the World Title, which has James rather annoyed. Mega slugs away and hits a chokeslam onto the apron for two, with Lawless shouting a lot after the kickout. Another chokeslam is countered and Mega is shoved into the barbed wire. A chokebomb gives Lawless two but here is the Culture for some cheap shots.

Lawless and Mega fight up to the stage, where Mega knocks him onto a barbed wire board. Back in and Mega loads up a bunch of weapons, only to get hit in the head with a chair. Cue the Culture AGAIN but Lawless fights them off and shoves Mega onto the pile of chairs for the pin and the title at 38:22.

Rating: B-. I’m not sure where to start with this one but I do like the concept. This was quite the insane match and the idea let everyone get in there and do something at some point. Lawless stood out a bit due to his size, though Mega didn’t exactly seem to be able to do much outside of power. The name Circus really fits here as it was a lot of insanity, but having it be elimination let things settle back down as you wondered who would be able to go after which title. Good concept, though some of the weapons got a bit too silly.

Post match the winners come out to celebrate, setting up a staredown with the Culture. Mega and James hug and Mega raises Lawless’ hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was kind of a weird one, but the action was good enough to make the whole show work out. I like the concept of the main event and I’ll take that over some showdown that doesn’t exactly feel all that important. One thing the show could work on is telling us more about what is going on, but I can overlook some of that for the sake of an entertaining show. Tighten some things up a bit and you have something better, but for now, it’s a good enough event.

 

 

 

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Mouse’s Wrestling Adventures: Fright Night
Date: October 11, 2019
Location: The Arena, Jeffersonville, Indiana
Commentators: Nick Miller, Chad Green

Assuming it is the same one, Mouse is someone who I have seen around on another show but don’t know much about him. Either way, this seems to be his (or someone named Mouse) show, which could go all over the place. I have no idea what is coming on this thing and that makes for a nice feeling. Let’s get to it.

Keep in mind I have never seen this promotion before so I apologize if I miss any plot or character bits.

We open with a Halloween theme, including clips from Hocus Pocus and Ernest Scared Stupid. Oh yeah I’m in the right place.

Logan Stunt vs. Cole Radrick

Logan is Marko’s brother and Cole is a pretty basic looking guy who can do good things in the ring. Radrick takes him to the mat to start as commentary (I have absolutely no idea if those names are right but it’s the closest I could get to what they were saying is in need of an early fix as it is BADLY distorted). A suplex sends Stunt into the corner but he’s back with a jumping knee to knock Radrick to the floor. The big suicide dive knocks Radrick into the fans, as there are no barricades here.

Back in and Radrick’s bridging butterfly suplex gets two but he misses a middle rope moonsault (commentary: “Little flippy doo action.”). A running knee gives Stunt two and it’s time for the slugout. Radrick knocks him into the ropes for a big running boot but Stunt manages to knock him outside. Back in and Radrick grabs a backpack Stunner into a running knee to the back of the head (BOOM!) for a rather near fall. A butterfly powerbomb finally puts Stunt away at 7:15.

Rating: C. They certainly started fast here and the fans are VERY hot for this show. Stunt is similar enough to his brother that he can get the sympathy while also being a bit bigger to keep things from being entirely ridiculous. Throw in a lack of floss dancing and this was an instant upgrade over most Marko matches.

The house band plays, because we have a house band.

Tom Hanks Memorial Battle Scramble

This is a Royal Rumble with thirty second intervals, but once we get down to five, a special entrant comes in to turn it into a six way scramble with pinfalls for eliminations. Also there might have been something about fans being allowed to throw people back in but it wasn’t easy to understand. Ace Perry is in at #1 and the Arena Phantom is in at #2 with the rather small Phantom sending him outside (not out) and backflipping into a pose back inside.

Back in and a big boot and suplex rock the Phantom as Levi Everett (he looks Amish) is in at #3. He takes his sweet time going around the ring to shake every hand he can though, leaving Perry to hit a low superkick on the Phantom. The claw has the Phantom down again but…some unnamed wrestler comes in to take Perry down. Reilly MaGuire is in at #4 and gets German suplexed by Perry.

The Phantom manages to skin the cat to stay alive and it’s Hoodfoot (Maybe) (that’s what the graphic says) in at #5, even as Levi is still on the floor shaking hands. Reilly tornado DDTs the unnamed guy and Trigga Travis is in at #6. Levi and another unnamed wrestler get in at the same time, but here is Adam Slade in at #8 (I guess?). Levi, the second unnamed guy and Slade seem to be part of the Lost Boys and it’s Levi snapping Reilly’s arm.

Step Stool Sarah, who might be a backstage worker, is in at #9 and hits a Stunner (because she’s in a Steve Austin jersey) before trying to eliminate herself….but she gets stuck on the top. Chris Copeland is in at #10 and the brawling continues until Jack Andrews is in at #11. The Phantom is eliminated off camera and it’s Loki Havok (Commentary: “He’s an odd bird.”) in at #12 to clean house.

Patrick Heeter is in at #13 as commentary has no idea who is in or how many are left. Nolan Edward is in at #14 and with nothing happening, Righteous Jesse is in at #15. Heeter knocks him straight down and puts him in the Tree of Woe for….us to cut to another wrestler who doesn’t get a graphic on his entrance. Whoever he is he’s in at #16 as there might be another entrant drinking in the crowd. Someone carrying a bag walks back through the entrance and it’s Danhausen in at #17.

We haven’t had commentary for a few minutes now and the handheld camera work isn’t helping. Lord Crewe is in at #18 and eliminates two unnamed guys in similar tights. Havok goes Joey Ryan by no selling a testicular claw, only to be tossed a second later. Another unnamed guy is tossed and a clothesline puts the original unnamed guy out, all at the hands of Crewe. There goes Heeter as well as the ring is rapidly clearing out. A toss powerbomb sends someone else onto the pile but Danhausen rallies the troops to go after Crewe.

Danhausen pours teeth into Crewe’s mouth and boots him out, leaving us with five. That means the special entrant can come in and it’s….the Wilson volleyball from Cast Away. This freaks Crewe out and has him in tears of apology, but Wilson starts talking to him. Wilson is thrown inside, where he chokeslams Everett. Then Wilson breaks up a superplex attempt and hits a super hurricanrana, followed by what I think is a Canadian Destroyer on Reilly.

Danhausen sizes him up, inserts a tooth, and stomps away. Now it’s time for the piano mat from Big, allowing Danhausen to dance and hit people in the head with Wilson. That’s enough piano and Wilson is chucked over the top and onto some of the wrestlers at ringside. Slade hits a springboard dive to take everyone down on the floor again, followed by Reilly moonsaulting off the top to take them all down again. Back in and a superplex sends Slade into the pile again, leaving a fan to ask “what the f*** is happening”.

Danhausen hits a slingshot German suplex and a running knee for two on Perry but Reilly kicks Wilson into him. Slade gives Reilly a running Canadian Destroyer but Perry hits him with a running Death Valley Driver into the corner for another two. Then Wilson Stuns Danhausen, leaving Levi to hit a top rope headbutt for two on Wilson, as this really needs to wrap up already. Another top rope headbutt is enough to finish Wilson and give Levi the pin at 32:00.

Rating: D+. There were a lot of fun moments, but this was WAY too long and it hurt things a lot. There were also far too many people, with a lot of them only there so Crewe could toss them out. I’ve seen matches like this one several times before and they almost all wind up having the same issues. I didn’t hate it, but I was ready for it to end about ten minutes early. Throw in commentary being gone for over half of the match and I was more lost than anything else.

Lee Moriarty vs. Shawn Kemp

Kemp is a rather good sized guy with a bunch of dog nicknames. Commentary is back as Moriarty hits a big springboard armdrag into a dropkick to put Kemp on the floor. Back in and Kemp runs him over with a crossbody, setting up the chinlock. Moriarty gets a boot up in the corner though and a top rope stomp to the arm lets him strike away. A suplex doesn’t work on Kemp, who hits a Judas Effect into a Psycho Driver for two.

Another shot to the arm slow Kemp down and a quick suplex gives Moriarty two more. A clothesline sets up a Fujiwara armbar (with finger twisting) but Kemp is in the ropes. With the holds not working, Moriarty takes him up top but a swinging fisherman’s buster brings him right back down. Back up and Kemp hits an enziguri into…something that doesn’t work as the arm gives out. What looked to be an F5 gives Moriarty the pin at 10:23.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but eventually they settled down into Moriarty picking him apart with the focus on the arm. I can always go for someone being that solid technically and Moriarty was on it here. Kemp is another big yet athletic guy, though he is going to need a bit more tho make him stand out.

Brett Ison vs. Calvin Tankman vs. Dominic Garrini

Hoss battle so it’s a chop circle to start. We’ll make that a punch circle as things get a little more intense early on. Ison gets double teamed down but Tankman Pounces Garrini to send him outside. A backbreaker into a clothesline drops Ison again but he dives back in to make a save.

Tankman BLASTS Garrini with a chop, only to have Garrini triangle choke him down. Ison is back up so Garrini gives him a German suplex, which doesn’t have much effect. Ison mixes things up with a Styles Clash, drawing Tankman back in for the save. Back up and Ison elbows the heck out of Tankman for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: C+. They didn’t try to do anything out of the ordinary here, as you had three big monsters hitting each other until one of them couldn’t kick out. That’s all it was supposed to be and I had fun watching them beat on each other. Those chops were great and I liked it ending with a shot to the face instead of something more complicated, as it kind of fits the theme.

Baka Gaijin vs. Naturally Gifted

That would be Madman Pondo/2 Tuff Tony (from Juggalo Championship Wrestling) vs. Bradley Prescott IV/Chase Holliday. Naturally Gifted seems to be part of the Lost Boys, and come out to the theme Rich Swann uses when he isn’t in Impact. Prescott has quite a bit of beer on his way to the ring and we get in-ring entrances, with Pondo and Tony insisting that they go first. It’s a brawl to start with Prescott and Holliday being beaten down on the floor as this is rather one sided early on.

Back in and a barbed wire bat to the back has Holliday screaming but Prescott is back up with a beer. That’s fine with Tony, who comes up with a bottle of vodka. There’s a pumpkin rolling around on the floor as Tony and Prescott try each others’ drinks (that’s just not sanitary). They trade sides and it’s Holiday avoiding a stop sign shot. An STO and basement dropkick get two on Pondo, followed by Prescott adding a jumping Stunner.

A Van Daminator (with a case of beer instead of a chair) gets two on Tony, who is back up with Pondo for a double elbow. Holliday is hung over the top for a flipping legdrop, drawing Prescott over for a save this time. The stop sign shot rocks Prescott and Tony hits (mostly) a Lionsault to make it worse. Pondo brings in a cinder block and a sledgehammer (commentary: “Somebody gonna die.”). The block is put between Holliday’s legs and crushed by the sledgehammer, setting up a fireball to finish Prescott at 9:50.

Rating: D-. I can’t stand this kind of stuff and it was little more than a squash for Pondo and Tony. They’re big guys who can’t move very well but they’re TOUGH, meaning they can do a bunch of stuff and not sell anything. The match wasn’t funny and was a way for the two of them to look great at the others’ expense, which isn’t so much interesting as much as it is annoying. Really not a fan of these guys and this didn’t make that any better.

Billie Starkz vs. Hawlee Cromwell

Cromwell jumps her during her entrance but Starks gets in a few kicks to take over. A clothesline gives Starkz two but Cromwell sends her into the corner for a running kick to the head. They slug it out on the apron with Cromwell getting the better of things, setting up a dropkick to the side of the head for two. Some forearms rock Cromwell in the corner and she charges into a boot to the face to make it worse.

I think they try a suplex to the floor but land on the ropes, resulting in a nasty looking fall to the floor. Back in and Cromwell grabs a swinging facebuster for two, followed by something like a Death Valley Driver/Air Raid Crash for the same. Starkz grabs a fisherman’s suplex for two and a sunset driver (with Cromwell’s head not even approaching the mat) for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one again as they weren’t exactly the most polished out there. Starkz is someone I’ve seen a few times before and she can have a good enough match but that wasn’t the case here. The execution didn’t quite work here and it was one of those matches that lost me pretty quickly, which is never a good sign.

The Carnies vs. The Night Ryderz

That would be Kerry Awful/Nick Iggy/Tripp Cassidy vs. Aaron Williams/Alex Colon/Dustin Rayz. The brawl is on before the bell with the Carnies beating them down both in and outside. We settle down to Colon getting crotched on the post and the choking in the corner drawing in the rest of the Ryderz for a failed save attempt. Everything breaks down with Colon getting kneed and suplexed for two.

The brawl heads to the floor as commentary hasn’t bothered to tell us who these people are, so we’re stuck with wild brawling and general insanity. The Carnies choke Colon in the corner and kick Williams (thanks commentary) in the head. Colon and Williams are back with double kicks and stereo suicide dives, leaving Rayz to clean house inside.

A DDT plants Iggy for two with Cassidy shoving the referee for the save. Awful is back in with a chokebomb to Colon, who pops up with a piledriver and a crucifix for two on Iggy. Colon and Iggy chop it out until Awful plants Williams for two, with Colon making the save. A hanging DDT/top rope double stomp drops Iggy on his head for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: C. This was the kind of brawl that you knew was coming on a show like this and that may or may not be a good thing. The lack of knowing who was who didn’t really matter in the end but it’s nice to at least know their names as they’re brawling. Either way, it was a good enough brawl, even if there have been a lot of wild fights on the show so far tonight.

Before the main event, Marko and Logan Stunt get in the ring to goof around a bit.

Grindhouse Pro Title: Freddie Hudson vs. Tyler Matrix vs. The Kenway

Hudson is defending. Matrix jumps both of them to start fast, including a belt shot to Hudson. They head outside where Hudson loses his shirt but Kenway is back in with a fisherman’s….something, which is countered into a small package for two. Hudson and Kenway slug it out until Matrix comes back in to run them over. Matrix superkicks Kenway to the floor and tells the fans to move, setting up the suicide dive.

Another dive drops Matrix and Kenway, leaving everyone down on the floor. Back in and Matrix hits a Canadian Destroyer on Hudson, followed by Kenway hitting one on Matrix. Not to be outdone, Hudson is up with a middle rope Canadian Destroyer to Kenway to leave everyone down. Back up and we get the circle slugout with Hudson being knocked down first.

Back up and Hudson slugs it out with Matrix, setting up a standing Sliced Bread for two. Kenway is back in with a rolling German suplex on Hudson, setting up a pumphandle suplex for two more. Matrix grabs a reverse fireman’s carry backbreaker on Kenway, with Hudson having to make a save. Matrix shrugs off Hudson’s poisonrana so Hudson does it again. Kenway is back in with a powerbomb to Hudson, who pops up with a Shining Wizard to retain at 8:24.

Rating: C+. They had me until the ending, when it became a bunch of no selling that always drives me crazy. Matrix has been around the circuit for a bit, including a long time in Ohio Valley Wrestling, and he has had some nice stuff before. Hudson and Kenway were both fine enough, though not exactly standing out from the larger pack.

Respect is shown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There were some good parts here but the bad ones had me losing any reason to care. That battle royal and that Pongo/Tony tag match were death for the show and at least the battle royal overshadowed a lot of the good things going on. The atmosphere was fun though and I had a nice enough time in parts to keep it from being a disaster, but not a very good show for the most part. Also, where was Mouse?

 

 

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Ballroom Brawl 12
Date: July 13, 2019
Location: Commodore Ballroom, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Peter Brown, Cody Von Wilson

This is Elite Canadian Championship Wrestling (ECCW), another promotion that I have heard a lot about but never actually seen. Again, thanks to the magic of Highspots, I get to knock another indy promotion off of my list and see what I can find out there. The card isn’t exactly big but there are some interesting names. Let’s get to it.

Keep in mind that as usual, I don’t follow this promotion and have no idea about any characters or storylines so please bare with me.

Opening sequence, which looks like an extended version of a regular TV show opening, though it does include the show’s card. It’s a nice highlight video, but going nearly three minutes might be a bit much.

The ring announcer, named Sweatervest, gets his own entrance. Granted it’s to Steve Austin’s music and with a pretty good Austin impression so I’ve seen worse. Sweatervest runs down some of the bigger matches and we’re ready to go.

David Starr vs. Judas Icarus vs. Beef Boy vs. Travis Williams

This is pretty close geographically to DEFY Wrestling and the opening match on their show that I looked at a few months back was also a four way featuring Icarus. Speaking of Icarus, he has a pretty big guy named the Natural with him, while Williams has Goddess Mandy. Beef is about 170lbs but billed at 606, giving him a bit of a Crash Holly vibe. Then we have Starr, who isn’t in wrestling anymore because he’s kind of a horrible person (allegedly).

The fans are behind Beef, though they should be behind the referee, who is the tallest person in the ring. Those same fans also think that Williams looks like Justin Bieber…and they might be on to something with that. The four way trash talk is on until Williams knocks Beef to the floor, only to get chopped outside as well. Starr Thesz presses Icarus down for two and a rolling kick to the face puts Icarus on the floor.

Beef comes in for a running hurricanrana on Starr but Williams is right back in to run Beef over. One heck of a chop puts Williams on the floor but Icarus cuts off Beef’s dive. An exchange of uppercuts gives us a standoff until Starr comes back in to chop at Williams. The big wind up chop in the corner is blocked though, meaning the big chop has to hit Icarus instead. Williams takes Starr down and stops to pose, allowing Starr to come back with another chop. A slap gets on Starr’s nerves and a long series of strikes has Williams mostly done on the ropes.

Williams is fine enough to hit a slingshot DDT but it’s back to Beef vs. Icarus. Some right hands give Beef control until Starr takes him down with a suplex for two. Icarus is back up with a string of uppercuts but Williams busts out a pair of RKO’s. Beef hits one of his own on Icarus, only to have Williams hit a middle rope version to Starr and Beef at the same time, leaving everyone down. That means the four way slugout from their knees until it turns into a circle chop off.

Williams is the only one left standing and takes Starr out with a quick suicide dive. Back in and Icarus grabs a fireman’s carry onto the knee to drop Williams, who is sent outside. Beef is left alone in the ring so he hits a running Blockbuster to take Williams off the apron and down onto the other two. Back in and Starr drops all three of them in a row, including a lariat to the back of Icarus’ head and a powerbomb onto the knee to break Beef. Williams dives in for a save and they’re all down again.

It’s Starr up first to stomp away on everyone else, though the fans are still behind Beef. Starr pulls Beef up but Icarus and Williams double team Starr down, setting up Beef’s Swanton. Icarus and Beef take Williams to the top, where he rams their heads together to save himself. That leaves Beef to drop Icarus onto the apron (Commentary: “Beef just Scar’ed his Mufasa!”) and another Swanton hits Judas for two, as Mandy pulls the referee out (ignore the referee’s hand slapping the mat for the third time). Williams kicks Beef low and hits a running knee for the pin at 14:23.

Rating: B-. This is the new version of the Cruiserweight match from the WCW Monday Nitro days as you have a bunch of people getting in the ring at once and flying around until someone wins. The fans were behind Beef but he took the fall anyway, which might not be the best way to start the show. Starr felt like the, uh, star here, but Williams had the fans hating him and that is a good thing. Just maybe don’t have him win by pinning the crowd favorite.

Come to upcoming shows!

Bishy Wishy/Randy Myers vs. The Shining

Bishy Wishy is Bishop and Fergie while the Shining is Chris Voros/Nicole Matthews/Patrick Voros (with Kristopher Kassidy). Voros and Voros are twins, just to make things even more confusing, and Matthews has her ECCW Women’s Title. Apparently Myers had a hand in the Twins’ development and they turned on him so it’s time for revenge. Bishy Wishy both wear purple and dance to the ring, which has Sweatervest cracking up.

Finally we have Myers, who is sung to the ring by a woman performing Welcome To The Black Parade. With that out of the way, the very flamboyant Myers (the Weirdo Hero, complete with green hair) comes out and runs through the crowd as the woman sings another sounds (sounds like she’s saying “so carry on” over and over). Kassidy tries his own song but Sweatervest is having none of that.

We actually get to the match, with Fergie and Matthews starting, and the latter stealing Fergie’s hat! That makes Fergie so mad that he lets Matthews bounce off of him with some shoulders. The hat goes back on and he shoulders Matthews into the corner for the tag to Patrick (commentary thinks it’s him at least). Some chops set up the tag to Myers, who tells Patrick to STOOOOOOOP and SHUUUUUUSH before firing off some Al Snow trapping headbutts.

Bishop and Chris come in, with Bishop hitting a quick powerslam. Patrick gets slammed onto Chris and it’s a moonsault from Bishop to crush both of them. Matthews comes back in and gets Michinoku Driver for two as everything breaks down. The Voros Twins take over but spend too much time posing, meaning they’re knocked off the apron. Fergie throws Matthews onto them and Bishop hits the big dive to take out the trio as this is one sided so far.

Back in and Kassidy’s interference is cut off, allowing Matthews to bring in the belt…to no avail as she is cut off too. That’s enough for Kassidy to get in a briefcase shot to Fergie and the villains take over. The Voros Twins stomp away before it’s off to Matthews for a heck of a chop. Bishop gets drawn in, allowing the triple teaming to ensue. Fergie shoves both Voros Twins away at the same time but the referee doesn’t see the hot tag. That means Matthews can get Fergie back into the corner so the chopping can ensue.

Some dust to the face blinds Fergie to make it worse but either Bishop or Myers sprays Matthews in the face with some water. Fergie finally flips Matthews off his shoulders but the Voros twins break up the tag AGAIN. Matthews grabs a choke but Fergie powers her over for the hot tag to Myers, sending all of the Shining to the floor in fear. Back in and a Russian legsweep/Downward Spiral combination drops the Twins before kicking Matthews low.

With that not working, Myers puts her in a fireman’s carry as Bishy Wishy hit a Rock Bottom and Stunner on a Twin each. An AA to Matthews gives us a triple cover and a triple two count with a triple foot on the rope. Bishop gets to clean house until Fergie hits a Bubba Bomb on Patrick. That leaves Chris to hit a middle rope dropkick/backsplash to Bishy Wishy but hold on as Myers kisses Kassidy and rolls up Matthews for the pin at 12:39.

Rating: C. The match itself wasn’t great but for a team comprised of Bishy Wishy and the Weirdo Hero, I got into this one and had a good enough time. I’ve seen Myers before and he certainly gets your attention, which is more than you would expect from someone who is that over the top. The Twins were just ok and Matthews was her usual pretty good self, but the match wasn’t exactly a classic outside of the standard six person formula.

Myers and Bishy Wishy get sung out again.

In the back, Travis Williams says you have no idea how cocky he is going to be now that he has beaten Beef Boy. He was tired of hearing promos (his word) from everyone else and now he is at the top after two years. Now he wants a title.

War Games is on September 6 with Team Eddie Osbourne vs. Team Scotty Mac.

Eddie Osbourne vs. Brody King

Osbourne has The Natural and Judas Icarus with him. They stare at each other to start before locking up after nearly a minute of glaring. An exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere but King’s second attempt staggers Osbourne a good bit. They slug/chop it out with King getting the better of it, setting up a running clothesline against the ropes. King shoulders him down and gets to pose a bit, like any tattooed monster should.

Back up and King snaps off a running hurricanrana to the floor, setting up….a slide underneath the ropes that doesn’t make any contact. They chop it out on the floor, with King chopping the post by mistake. A Rock Bottom onto the apron plants King again and the Natural holds him in place, allowing Osbourne to hit a big Cannonball off the apron through King through a chair.

Back in and Osbourne chops in the corner before choking on the ropes. A lot of posing allows King to get back up and hit some running clotheslines in the corner. One heck of a crossbody gives King two and he wins another chop off, only to have the Natural make a save. Icarus gets tossed onto Osbourne and the Natural, setting up a heck of a piledriver….for two. Ok well done on the false finish.

A clothesline connects but the Natural has the referee. Osbourne is back with a Rock Bottom and a Death Valley Driver for two of his own and the shock is strong with this one. King can’t fireman’s carry him but he can block Osbourne’s running knee. A Samoan driver finally puts Osbourne away at 14:51.

Rating: B. Sometimes you need two hosses to beat each other up for about fifteen minutes. Some of Osbourne’s stuff didn’t look great, but King is enough of a monster to make almost anything work. This was the fun kind of monster clash that they made it seem like it would be and I had a good time with it as a result.

TJP is ready for the main event.

Here is Erik Strange with Scotty Mac, the latter of whom seems to be a big deal around here, even if he is badly limping. Mac is returning from an injury and talks about how he has always put ECCW above everything else, from family to relationships. They have sold this place out again but his leg is still banged up so he can’t wrestle tonight. That’s why he is here with Strange, who is going to wrestle for the Tag Team Titles for the both of them. Strange is winning the titles on his own so they can defend them when Mac is healthy again.

Hold on though as Strange has a replacement partner: Andy Bird. This brings out Bird, who has a bird costume made of Christmas lights and what looks to be one of those old plague masks that Marty Scurll would wear. It’s quite the visual and makes for a heck of an entrance. Hold on though as commentator Peter Brown grabs the mic (with Sweatervest explaining how to turn it on) to talk about how this is a dark time.

The Grindhouse has been the Tag Team Champions for a year now but that is changing tonight. Brown doesn’t like the fans booing him but he also doesn’t like Bird here as the replacement. He mocks Strange for being injury prone and accuses the three of them of using the Freebird Rule. The fans don’t like Brown, who finally gets to the point by trying to sign the three of them up. That’s a no from Bird but the trio wants to have a conference. Strange teases signing but instead it’s a ruse for Bird to hit Brown with his hair (ala Bianca Belair). And now, a match.

Tag Team Titles: Grindhouse vs. Andy Bird/Erik Strange vs. Wisemen vs. ReLoaded vs. Gross Misconduct

Grindhouse: Ashley Sixx/Cat Power
Wisemen: Billy Suede/Tony Baroni
ReLoaded: Jacky Lee/Shareef Morrow
Gross Misconduct: Drexl/Steve West

Grindhouse is defending and just in case this isn’t messy enough, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE WITH ELIMINATIONS!!! Oh and the Wisemen have the Goddess Mandy with them because we need more people. I’m not even going to pretend to be able to keep track of everything going on in this one, because it’s more than a bit insane. The entrances alone take a VERY long time, which doesn’t exactly give me the most confidence.

Grindhouse gets surrounded to start and the brawl is on until it’s down to Power vs. Suede in the ring. Power clothesline him down for an early two (thankfully from the two referees) but it’s Sixx (a man, which might not have been clear) clearing the ring. Baroni breaks up the dive though, leaving ReLoaded to hit stereo suicide dives, because they’re the kind of smaller guys who would hit stereo dives.

Sixx goes up top for a dive onto a bunch of people, followed by Strange hitting his own big flip dive. Bird adds his own huge dive and everyone is down on the floor. The cameras lose sight of most of the people involved until it’s Lee beating up Sixx in the ring. Lee manages a headscissors into the corner….and we cut to a closeup of wrestlers brawling around the arena. We cut back to the ring with Sixx getting a cover but with no referee to count.

Suede has Power sprayed with beer at the bar and we’ll just stay on these two as commentary tells us what else is going on around the arena. The camera loses them for a second before coming back to Suede and Power walking around the arena and near what looks to be the merchandise stand. The two of them fight to the back as we hear about Bird being knocked down with a bench. Granted we can’t actually see that because the camera is on some fans. Back in and it’s Lee taking over on Baroni as we’re told that Strange and Bird have been eliminated at 9:24.

Baroni hits a pop up Codebreaker for two on Lee, setting up West hitting a Stinger Splash into a DDT (cool) for two on Sixx. Lee hits another big dive onto the pile, leaving Drexl to save West from Sixx as well. Power saves Sixx from a double suplex before knocking Drexl and West off the apron for the pin and the elimination at 13:10.

We’re down to three teams so things chill a bit, with Baroni and Suede stomping on Power. ReLoaded try to dive in and sends the Wisemen into each other, setting up a kick to the Baroni’s head for two. Suede makes the save with what looks to be hairspray, allowing him to pin Morrow at 15:17.

So we’re down to Power vs. the Wisemen as Sixx was handcuffed to the rope somewhere in there. Cue Beef Boy to get Sixx away from the rope and dropkick a stop sign into Suede’s face. Baroni is up with some superkicks of his own but the chair shot hits the rope and comes back into Baroni’s face this time. A Magic Killer (with Beef assisting) is enough to retain the titles at 17:23.

Rating: C-. This really wasn’t my style as there was way too much going on with the camera barely being able to follow things throughout the arena and the whole thing being a total mess. Do this gauntlet style and it is so much better but this was about as good as it could have gone given the situation. The fans seem happy with the win, but other than ReLoaded, it wasn’t like any of the challengers really stood out. Just cool things down a bit and it’s a huge improvement.

Post match Grindhouse celebrates for a good bit.

Brian Pillman Jr. is ready for his match with Kevin Sullivan, which is a long time in the making. Sullivan came in to MLW and tried to extend his career by latching on to the young stars. That’s how Pillman helped keep him a star, but now he has to take out the garbage. Tonight he is the Taskmaster, and he is tasked with ending Sullivan’s career.

We recap Sullivan vs. Pillman, which comes via a clip from MLW Fusion in August 2018. Sullivan wanted to help Pillman, but not so much his friends Teddy Hart and Davey Boy Smith Jr. Then Pillman took Sullivan out to prove his loyalties.

Sullivan promises revenge.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Brian Pillman Jr.

No Holds Barred. Sullivan jumps him before the bell and the fight goes into the crowd, as you probably expected to be the case. A shot to the throat rocks Pillman again but he manages a posting to get a breather as I don’t think the bell has rung yet. Some more strikes have Sullivan in trouble until he low blows his way to freedom. The brawl stays in the crowd and I can’t see anything going on, as tends to be the case with this show.

We get a better camera angle as Pillman cranks on the arm and they walk around the arena some more. Sullivan is busted open and they finally get inside, with Pillman slowly hammering away in the corner. A shot to the eyes gives Sullivan a breather but Pillman is right back with forearms to the face.

Hold on though as Pillman offers a handshake….and then beats on him even more. The referee tries to break it up so Pillman knocks him down, followed by some shots to producers who try to intervene. Then Sullivan’s fireball accidentally goes off in his hand early, meaning Sullivan walks off instead. Pillman cuts him off and they brawl to the back…and we’ll say that’s it at 9:45.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was a total disaster and I can’t say I’m all that surprised. Sullivan is almost 70 here and could barely move, including barely doing anything as Pillman beat on him in the corner. It doesn’t help that they were having a match built on a story between Sullivan and Pillman’s father in WCW and was then build up in MLW. Total miss here and that shouldn’t be anything close to a surprise.

ECCW Title: Artemis Spencer vs. TJ Perkins

Spencer is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. Feeling out process to start with TJP taking him to the mat for some riding before flipping up to his feet. Spencer does something similar and TJP is a bit impressed. An arm crank has Spencer in trouble but he spins it over into an armbar of his own. Back up and TJP twists around into the headscissors on the mat, meaning it’s time for some dabbing.

That takes too long though as Spencer pulls him down into a headscissors of his own. TJP nips up into a bow and arrow, which is flipped over into another standoff. We get the Canadian Content with TJP trying the Sharpshooter but Spencer pulls him into a failed triangle choke attempt. TJP grabs a Sharpshooter while grabbing the arms before switching into a Muta Lock of off things.

With that broken up, Spencer hits a heck of a springboard wristdrag but TJP pulls him into a DDT to cut it off again. There’s a slingshot hilo but Spencer sends him outside, setting up a heck of an Asai moonsault. Back in and Spencer’s armbar sends TJP straight to the ropes as he is starting to pick TJP apart. TJP gets his feet up in the corner though and a hurricanrana gives him a breather.

A tornado DDT gives TJP two but the Detonation Kick is blocked. That’s fine with TJP, who dropkicks the knee out to put Spencer in more trouble. An exchange of kicks to the head means a double knockdown and we get an old ten count. TJP is up first and knocks him into the ropes, setting up a slingshot kick to the head. Spencer drives TJP hard into the corner though and a headbutt lays TJP out on the top.

The top rope backsplash crushes TJP for two so Spencer goes after the arm again. That works for TJP, who pulls him into something close to a Sharpshooter. Spencer tries to reverse that into the Arte-choke (I chuckled) but gets pulled into a kneebar, which Spencer reverses into a cradle for two.

A powerbomb backbreaker plants TJP, who is fine enough to crotch Spencer on top. The top rope superplex sets up some rolling suplexes but Spencer kicks him in the head. TJP dragon screws the leg though and the Detonation Kick gets a very close two. Spencer catches him on top and tries another backsplash, only to have Spencer pull him into the Arte-choke. TJP is done, meaning a Spiral Tap can retain the title at 18:05.

Rating: B. That’s a good way to make someone like Spencer feel like a bigger star. Spencer hung in there with a more established name from the big leagues and beat him in the middle of the ring to retain the title. TJP is someone who can have a good match with anyone and he elevated Spencer here. Solid match and it felt like a main event, especially with something that didn’t seem to have much of a story other than “here’s a name for a challenger”.

Respect is shown post match.

In the back, Spencer says he’s ready for anyone to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked what we got here, though that Pillman vs. Sullivan match should be forgotten as quickly as possible. Other than that though, the biggest issue here was the camera work, which felt fairly low budget at times and was often missing spots or moments. The good thing is that the wrestling itself was quite good, as the talent shined through. I can see why this is a promotion that has stuck around for a long time and I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing something else from them down the line.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 82,265
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

We’re back to this show after a year away and I’m not sure what to think about this one. I wasn’t in the stadium for this one and for once that is making me remember the show a little bit better. This whole thing is centered around a few matches, as Wrestlemania always tends to be. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

Murphy is defending and this is during Nese’s (who won a tournament to get here) not so great face run. First good thing: there are a bunch of people in their seats already so the place doesn’t look ridiculous. Murphy misses a running knee at the bell so Nese hammers away in the corner and tells the fans that this is his Wrestlemania moment. A cartwheel off the apron lets Nese hit him in the jaw but Murphy grabs a fireman’s carry drop onto the corner (Colt Cabana’s Chicago Skyline) as we take a break.

Back with Murphy holding a chinlock but getting suplexed into the corner to cut things off. Some running elbows to the face rock Murphy and the Lionsault, with Murphy hanging in the ropes, gets two. Nese catches him on the ropes with a palm strike, only to get pulled into a Cheeky Nandos kick. A powerbomb into a spinning faceplant gives Murphy two as we get the “still filing in line” from commentary. Murphy’s Law is countered and Nese hits a reverse hurricanrana to put them both down again.

Murphy wins a strike off but Nese is right back with a sunset driver for his own near fall as the fans are finally getting into this. The running Nese doesn’t get to launch so Nese hits the Fosbury Flop instead. Back in and the 450 gets two in a surprising near fall. The jumping knee connects out of nowhere and Murphy’s Law gets two as Nese gets a foot on the rope. Ever the villain, Murphy tries his own running Nese, which is cut off by a superkick. The real running Nese finishes Murphy at 10:44.

Rating: C. The 205 Live guys had several matches that would blow this one away but at least they had a nice moment in the end with the fans getting into things. Nese as a face didn’t exactly click but beating Murphy felt like a bit deal. It’s a nice mini feel good moment to start what is going to be a long night.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Zelina Vega, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, Ruby Riott, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Maria Kanellis, Asuka, Sonya Deville, Candice LeRae, Naomi, Nikki Cross, Lana, Dana Brooke, Mickie James

Only Naomi and Asuka get entrances. Nikki goes nuts to start and it’s a big brawl, as a battle royal should be. Maria is out in a hurry and Asuka knocks out Candice and Nikki back to back. Ember and Naomi trade hurricanranas until the former hits a quick springboard Eclipse on Lana. Another Eclipse gets rid of Naomi and there’s the real version to Mandy. Ember goes up again but Lana (the one in the designated Captain Marvel attire) shoves her out.

Sane hits an Alabama Slam on Lana and goes up like a schnook, only to get shoved to the apron by Logan. Even the bigger schnook, Logan doesn’t eliminate her but rather joins the rest of the Riott Squad to go after Lana. The elimination doesn’t take long but Sane drops Logan. The Insane Elbow connects, only t have the Squad get together and eliminate Sane without much trouble. An assisted flipping Stunner rocks Vega but AGAIN Logan doesn’t get the elimination.

Instead the Squad goes after Asuka and again they don’t eliminate her. Brooke gets to fight off all three of them and manages a slow motion Thesz press on Morgan. Riott goes after Brooke and gets tossed, with Morgan following her out. Brooke’s handspring elbow hits Vega’s knees though and the running knees in the corner make it worse. Rose and Deville get rid of Vega and Brooke, meaning we can get a big hug.

We’re down to Rose, Deville, Asuka, James, Logan and Carmella, the latter of whom seems to be on the floor because that’s something you have to have in battle royals these days. James hurricanranas Rose to the apron and superkicks her out, only to get dropped by Deville. Asuka beats up Logan and Deville at once but she manages to toss Deville. Logan gets rid of Asuka but, say it with me, Carmella is still in and superkicks Logan out for the win at 10:33.

Rating: D. Holy sweet goodness I can’t stand that finish and yet we seem to get it in every few battle royals (including last year’s women’s battle royal). I know Carmella getting the win is for the sake of the New York fans but egads this feels like a waste of a match, which tends to be the case with so many of these pre-show battle royals. In other words: more of the same stuff that wasn’t good in the first place.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Revival is defending and picked the match because they thought it would be an easy win. See, Hawkins hasn’t won a match in two and a half years so of course he gets a Wrestlemania title shot (you have to keep the New York crowd happy you see). Dawson shoves Hawkins down to start and then pats him on the cheek in the corner. We get a recap of the Edgeheads as Dawson headlocks Hawkins down.

Ryder comes in as we hear about how the show in “the shadow of New York”, which is acknowledged as New Jersey, likely for one of the only times tonight. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Wilder down but Dawson low bridges him out to the floor. Something close to a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two and the armbar goes on. Dawson comes back in and rips at the face before working on his own armbar.

That’s enough of that so Wilder grabs another armbar (he’s up 2-1 on Dawson) to keep Ryder down. Ryder fights up again but neckbreakers his way out of a double suplex. With Hawkins being distracted, the champs cheat to set up a hard clothesline for two more. The assisted legdrop gives Wilder two and we hit the chinlock as this keeps going. Ryder finally suplexes his way to freedom and there’s the hot tag to Hawkins.

House is cleaned until it’s a double clothesline to put Hawkins and Dawson down at the same time. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson but Ryder and Wilder crash out to the floor. Wilder saves Dawson at two and tornado DDTs Ryder on the floor. A brainbuster drops Hawkins outside as well and they’re all down for a bit. Back in and Hawkins is dead but manages a small package for the pin and the titles at 13:20. Hawkins slowly realizing that not only is the match over but that they won is kind of awesome.

Rating: D+. This went on too long but the ending was fine after setting everything up for so long with the losing streak. Hawkins and Ryder are a likable team so it’s not like them winning the titles is a bad idea. Besides, WWE has already taken away anything that the Revival could offer (and yet it would still get worse) so the loss doesn’t do a ton of damage to them anyway.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Otis, Karl Anderson, Andrade, Gran Metalik, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, Colin Jost Jeff Hardy, No Way Jose, Lince Dorado, Bobby Roode, Konnor, Tyler Breeze, Viktor, Luke Harper, Ali, Apollo Crews, Michael Che, Titus O’Neil, Tucker, Braun Strowman, Shelton Benjamin, Jinder Mahal, Matt Hardy, Curtis Axel, Rhyno, Luke Gallows, EC3, Kalisto

So the big deal here is Jost and Che are from Saturday Night Live and Strowman doesn’t like them. The two of them bail to the floor and hide under the ring as Axel is out in about ten seconds. Dorado takes a SCARY bump to the floor with Breeze, EC3 and Benjamin following him out. There goes Dallas as well but it’s time for a staredown with Strowman and Harper.

That’s broken up in a hurry and Titus gets rid of Slater. As expected, Titus is out a few seconds later off a missed charge and Ali gets rid of Jose. Ascension sends Strowman shoulder first into the post for a crash to the floor (through the ropes so no elimination). Anderson isn’t so lucky as he gets tossed and the Hardys do the same to Rhyno. Roode and Metalik are out next as the ring is starting to empty a bit.

Andrade tosses Kalisto onto Metalik but Gable rolls Andrade with German suplexes. Since it’s Gable though, Andrade throws him out in a hurry, leaving Otis to hit a double Caterpillar on the Ascension. They’re both out as well but Strowman is back in to get rid of Gallows, Tucker and Otis in a row. There goes Mahal as Harper tries to suplex Ali over the top. With Ali hanging upside down, Strowman kicks Harper out, nearly dropping Ali on his head in a very near miss.

We’re down to Strowman, Andrade, Matt, Jeff and Crews in the ring with Che and Jost still underneath the ring. Andrade and Crews go to the apron and Andrade tries a hurricanrana for no intelligent reason in a double elimination. Strowman puts the Hardys on the apron in the battle of North Carolina as Che and Jost get back inside. They can’t get rid of Strowman, who dumps the Hardys and is ready for the destruction.

Jost grabs a mic though and says this doesn’t need to end in violence. He presents his personal therapist, whose breathing exercises earn him a chokeslam. Che tries to eliminate himself but Strowman punches himself out instead. Strowman misses a charge and almost gets eliminated but powers through it and tosses Jost for the win at 10:27.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s stupid and the SNL guys added nothing to the whole thing but Strowman won in the end and there were some nice spots (granted they went with some scary ones) throughout. It isn’t anything better or worse than your usual “get them all in there” battle royal and it could have been worse. That’s high praise for something like this anymore.

And with that Smackdown length Kickoff Show out of the way, we can get on with the real show. Isn’t modern WWE great?

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful and we get the big helicopter flyover.

The opening video, complete with a WWE Presents, features the wrestlers talking about how Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage. Tonight, this is their stage and they are the players. We get the classic moments of course because this show is built around history. They do a good job of starting this slowly and then building it up into a big feeling. As usual, WWE’s promo videos are nothing short of incredible and somehow they manage to get better a lot of the time. That being said, wrestlers calling themselves storytellers doesn’t sound right.

Maybe it’s how many times I’ve heard the song on highlight packages since then, but that Love Runs Out theme song is really catchy.

Here’s Alexa Bliss, the host for the evening, to open things up. Bliss talks about how this show needs a goddess and if she snaps her fingers, she can make a Wrestlemania moment. A snap of her fingers produces Hulk Hogan, who is happy to be back here in the Silverdome. That gets a chuckle so then he calls it the MetLife Center in a joke that doesn’t go over as well. Hogan and Bliss pose together in a cute moment.

Hold on though as Paul Heyman storms out and says we’re doing the Universal Title match RIGHT NOW. The faster Lesnar wins, the faster he can go to Las Vegas where he is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending after winning the Royal Rumble and gets a big BEAST SLAYER intro. At least BURN IT DOWN gets a big reaction so they’re doing something right. Lesnar jumps him before the bell and knees Rollins off the apron. An F5 plants Rollins on the floor and a hard whip into the barricade makes it even worse. Rollins gets tossed over the announcers’ table as the beating is on in a big way. That’s not enough for Lesnar so he throws Rollins over another table before throwing Rollins inside.

Heyman and Lesnar talk the angry trash but it’s back to the floor before the opening bell. Cole: “Seth Rollins never had a chance!” And there’s your usual WWE line that gives away the ending. Brock throws Rollins over the announcers’ table for a third time and then through the cover of the announcers’ table. They go back in for the opening bell and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar: “SUPLEX CITY B******!” Give him his t-shirt money.

The second suplex sends him flying again as Cole brings up the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in. The F5 is countered though and Rollins gets in a low blow. That means a low superkick and three straight Stomps make Rollins champion at 2:30. It was an exciting start and the whole thing from Lesnar’s first attack ran about 7:00. They had to get the title onto Rollins here (though more importantly off of Lesnar) and this was certainly a memorable way to do it. Certainly more so than when they did it again in a longer form four and a half months later.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

This is your “here are two big names without much else to do” match. Orton eliminated him from the Elimination Chamber and they got in an argument about who built Smackdown. Orton’s big CGI snakes really don’t look great but those things are hit and miss for everyone. AJ headlocks him to start and is promptly driven into the corner. A very early threat of an RKO sends AJ bailing to the corner and it’s another standoff.

Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick to take over, including a boot across the eye to make it even worse. AJ gets in his own dropkick though as they’re pretty even in the early minutes. With Orton taking a breather on the floor, AJ scores with the slingshot forearm, only to get knocked off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and the chinlock goes on as the fans start chanting something I can’t understand.

That’s broken up so AJ hits the sliding forearm, setting up the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. An early Styles Clash attempt is countered into a powerslam to give Orton his own near fall as the slow pace continues. The Calf Crusher attempt is countered without much trouble but the second attempt is slapped on in the middle of the ring. Not that the fans are exactly interested but AJ did get it on. That’s broken up in a hurry so AJ heads to the apron for the Phenomenal Forearm.

Orton jumps up to RKO him out of the air (as he had done last week) but AJ holds back, leaving Orton to crash. The springboard 450 gets two but Orton is right back with the backbreaker. Orton’s rather good looking top rope superplex has AJ crashing down for two and an uppercut gets a crazy loud pop (that had to be for something else). The hanging DDT gets no reaction but Orton walking around does, as I’m almost scared to imagine what had the fans’ attention.

AJ hits an enziguri to block the RKO, only to walk into it on the second attempt. That’s only good for two as well and Orton is shocked. With nothing else working, Orton loads up a super RKO, which is escaped without a lot of effort. A Pele sends Orton to the floor and the Phenomenal Forearm knock him even sillier. Back in and Orton still can’t hit the RKO, meaning it’s another Phenomenal Forearm to give AJ the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C-. Things got a bit better by the end but it never got going at any intense level. These two are capable of a lot but it was rather slow paced for the most part and when the match is going that long, it can get pretty tiresome in a hurry. It’s not bad in any sense but it wasn’t exciting and you know these two could do a lot better. That makes it more frustrating than anything else, as I kept waiting for them to get going and they never really did.

Here’s Lacey Evans to continue doing her thing of walking around, smiling, and then walking back.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Bar vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

The Usos are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. There is something so awesome about seeing the look on Ricochet’s face as he walks onto the stage. You can see what it means to him and there is no faking that kind of a feeling. This also marks Ricochet and Black’s third shot at different titles this week, after Raw and NXT title shots earlier in the week. Jimmy and Black start things off with a feeling out process until Sheamus tags himself in to face Black.

The armbar doesn’t last long as Rusev tags Sheamus and runs Black over. Nakamura comes in for a kick to the back but the rapid fire tags continue, with Jimmy coming in to Samoa drop Black. Nakamura kicks Jimmy into a tag to Ricochet, who does a very spinny headscissors on Cesaro. Since it’s just a headscissors though, Cesaro uppercuts Ricochet down and starts swinging him, as Sheamus forearms everyone else.

After a nearly 40 second swing (geez), the Sharpshooter goes on in the middle of the ring. Black makes the save and strikes away, setting up a springboard moonsault for two on Rusev. Nakamura is back in with some running knees to Black, meaning Ricochet has to make a save of his own. That earns him a swinging Rock Bottom from Rusev and it’s time for the nine man Tower of Doom. Just to show off, Ricochet flips out and lands safely in the corner, setting up the 630 for two on Sheamus. We hit the parade of kicks to the face with the Usos superkicking Sheamus down. The Double Us retains the titles at 10:05.

Rating: B. This was almost all action from bell to bell and that’s all you can do with a match like this one. Let them do whatever they want and get in spot after spot for a little while. They didn’t overstay their welcome either, as this match got in the right amount of time. Good stuff here and one of the more entertaining things all night so far.

Hall of Fame recap. Thankfully Bret being attacked isn’t mentioned whatsoever.

Here’s the class being presented in the stadium:

Honky Tonk Man (How was he not in yet?)

Harlem Heat (Perfectly fine.)

Torrie Wilson (The new low benchmark.)

Brutus Beefcake (Again, how was he not in yet?)

Hart Foundation (Should have been earlier so Neidhart could be there but long overdue as well.)

Sue Aitchison (Warrior Award.)

D-Generation X (I’m sure they had to twist their arms to get here. Deserved of course.)

We recap Miz vs. Shane McMahon. Somehow Shane won the World Cup despite not being in the tournament and Miz, the man he replaced in the finals, was jealous. Miz’s dad thought they should team together so they won the Tag Team Titles. The reign didn’t last long though and they split up, with Shane turning on Miz. Tonight, it’s Falls Count Anywhere. This was in the middle of Shane’s RIDICULOUS run near the top of Smackdown where he was all over the show and beating main eventers, including that Tag Team Title win. Of course he gets a big Wrestlemania match, because that’s what makes sense for such a star.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere, but hang on as Shane needs to hear his introduction three times in a row. With that out of the way, Shane bails to the floor at the bell so the chase is on, with Shane hitting his horrible punches. In a smart move, Shane grabs Miz’s dad (in the front row) and again, the chase goes badly for Miz as Shane hammers away. They head outside again with Shane loading up the announcers’ table.

A monitor shot to the head puts Miz on the table but Miz’s dad blocks the big elbow. Shane gets down so Miz’s dad gets inside for the showdown, with Miz’s dad doing the pose that launched a subplot on the upcoming season of Miz and Mrs. Shane takes him into the corner and stomps away, drawing Miz back in for the beating. They fight to to the floor with Shane falling over the barricade but hold on as Miz wants someone to check on his dad.

With the medics doing their job, Miz dives over the barricade to take Shane down again. They fight over towards one of the big pillars that holds up the canopy over the ring but Shane fights out of the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead Shane grabs a DDT for two but Miz kicks him down off the stage. Shane is sent knee first into a barricade and Miz beats on him with a chair to blow off some more steam.

They wreck announcers’ row with Miz throwing him over every chair he can find, plus throwing some chairs around. Shane gets sent through a table for two, followed by a monitor shot to knock him over a barricade and onto the top of a well placed golf cart. That gives Miz a delayed two so he punches Shane up towards a production tower. A Skull Crushing Finale onto the platform gets two, because he’s Shane and Miz is just a former World Champion.

Shane fights back (of course) and climbs up to the top of the tower. Miz pursues so Shane begs off, even dropping to one knee. That earns him some left hands to the head and Miz superplexes him all the way down (after asking if Shane is ready) onto a crash pad. Worry not though as Shane lands on top for the pin at 15:25.

Rating: D-. I knew the ending was coming here and I still shake my head at the ending. Shane is the boss’ son but my goodness how hard can you push him? The worst part is that it is only going to get worse as the summer goes on, but this was a punch to the gut as Shane wins AGAIN, meaning he isn’t going away anytime soon. The superplex was a nice idea but showing the landing on the pad (which just happened to be there) took away all of the impact that it had. That is, whatever was left before Shane won of course.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

Banks and Bayley are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Bret Hart is here with Beth and Natalya (who really feel like fill ins for Trish Stratus/Lita), though he doesn’t go beyond the stage. Tamina shoves Bayley down to start and superkicks Natalya for a bonus. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Nia being sent outside for a ram into the steps. Back in and Peyton rolls Sasha up for two and it’s a double kick to put drop Sasha again.

The Hardys’ Spin Cycle gets two on Banks but she’s right back with a backslide for the same. It’s back to Bayley for a sliding clothesline for two on Beth but Billie tags herself in. The IIconics take over on Beth, who is right back with a suplex to both of them at once. Natalya comes in for two but Bayley makes a fast save. The champs get in a fight with Beth and Natalya and it’s a Bank Statement to Phoenix. That’s broken up but the Glam Slam is countered into a rollup into the corner.

Natalya drops Sasha onto Bayley and they get the always fairly dumb looking double Sharpshooter treatment. This time it’s Tamina making the save and Nia comes back in to wreck everyone else. The IIconics get crushed with stereo Samoan drops but Beth shoves Nia off the top to break up a splash. Sasha takes Beth down as well and Bayley drops the top rope elbow, followed by Banks’ frog splash. The Tower of Doom is broken up so Beth hits a super Glam Slam on Bayley, with Kay making a blind tag. With Beth sent outside, Kay steals the pin and the titles at 10:47.

Rating: D. This went on too long and wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. The titles were brand new at this point and they already seemed pretty worthless, which would be proven over the next year. The fallout here is more interesting than the match itself, as you Nia would go away for about a year with double ACL surgery and Sasha (allegedly) threw a fit over losing and took the summer off.

The pilots from the Kickoff Show flyover are in the crowd. That’s always cool.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Kofi replaced the injured Ali in the Elimination Chamber and got down to the final two. That set up one of the most dramatic things that WWE has ever done, as Kofi got inches away from winning the title and the fans ate it up. It was clear that Kofi had to get the title at Wrestlemania or he never would, which sent Kofi and New Day into a crusade to finally get the title shot that had eluded him for eleven years.

After jumping through all kinds of hoops set by Vince McMahon, it took New Day winning a gauntlet match to get the shot, with their longtime rivals the Usos stepping aside in a great show of respect for Kofi. At the same time, Bryan said that Kofi was a B+ player in an awesome role reversal from his legendary run five years earlier.

The match was finally set and it was a heck of a story, as Kofi had put in so many years of building credibility to get here and was finally cashing in. This wasn’t JBL jumping up to the main event scene, as Kofi had pretty much won every title other than the World Title. That’s not a big jump, but it was hard to believe that they would actually pull the trigger here. In other words, this was EXCELLENT and would have headlined any other year.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging and has New Day in his corner, while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a gift for Kofi and promises it for after the match. I had forgotten how nice of a touch Bryan’s eco-friendly belt really was. They stare each other down to start and the fans are behind Kofi, which is almost hard to fathom until you realize that Bryan might be a better heel than face. Kofi’s headlock doesn’t get anywhere so they fight over a backslide. Bryan monkey flips him so Kofi lands on his feet, setting up a dropkick to the floor.

The big dive takes Bryan down again and the roster is behind Kofi in the back. Things slow down a bit as Bryan needs a breather with Rowan. Back in and Bryan uppercuts him a few times to set up the surfboard, which always looks awesome. That’s broken up in a hurry as usual, allowing Kofi to kick away in the corner. Bryan’s moonsault into the running clothesline is countered into something resembling the standing double stomp (almost a Thesz press as Kofi can’t hit it properly) for two.

Kofi’s jumping clothesline works a bit better and the Boom Drop connects. Bryan heads outside again so Kofi tries a springboard dive, which lands ribs first on the announcers’ table. You don’t have to ask Bryan twice to go after the ribs like that so he drops Kofi ribs first across the top rope. The ribs get sent into the corner and it’s off to a waistlock, which works a lot better this time around. Kofi fights up and elbows in the corner but a very quick Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Boston crab.

Bryan’s belly to back superplex is broken up with elbows to the face and Kofi hits a top rope splash to the back for two. They slug it out but Trouble in Paradise is countered again, only to countered into a small package to give Kofi two more. Kofi’s crossbody is rolled through though and Bryan pulls him into a failed LeBell Lock attempt so they’re both down for a second. The running knee is countered into the SOS but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock, with Bryan letting go for some more elbows to the ribs.

Kofi finally gets his foot on the rope and you can hear the sigh of relief. Bryan YES Kicks at the ribs even more but Kofi fires up and tells Bryan to kick him even harder. As Bryan backs away, Kofi throws his own kicks and busts out a reverse suplex for two. They head outside again so Rowan can go after New Day, earning himself Trouble in Paradise. The Midnight Hour on the floor takes care of Rowan and Kofi blocks Bryan’s suicide dive.

Back in and Bryan hits the running knee…..for two and a big pop on the kickout. Bryan has had it and unloads with stomps to the head to set up the LeBell Lock. Kofi breaks out again and blasts Bryan with forearms to the face with more aggression than you usually see from him. Bryan won’t let go of the wrist so Kofi stomps him right back, knocking Bryan silly. Trouble in Paradise gives Kofi the clean pin and the title at 23:45.

Rating: A. That is the definition of the Wrestlemania moment and it holds up to perfection a year later. The fans completely bought into the idea of Kofi fighting through everything and winning the title in the end and that’s all it should have been. Kofi is the kind of guy who has been around forever and built up so much good will that when he finally went after the title, everyone was on his side. That made for a special moment and it was amazing throughout as it’s something that I never thought I would see, but here it is. That’s a great thing to see as rare as it can be.

On top of that, this was an awesome match with both guys giving it everything they had. The story here was perfect with Kofi not being the wrestler Bryan was but knowing that this was his one shot and giving everything he had to achieve his dream when he could. The fans believed in him and there was no way he could lose in this spot. Outstanding stuff and if not for the historic main event, this would have headlined in a landslide. Watch this again and smile a lot.

Post match Woods and Big E. pull out the classic WWE Championship and hand it to Kofi for the first time (Kofi kneeling in the ring and waiting to have it presented to him is a great visual). The pyro goes off and Kofi’s sons get in the ring to celebrate with him and one of them holds up the title, which is almost bigger than he is. We’re not done yet though as Big E. brings in the present from earlier. It’s the first New Day shirt featuring Kofi as champion and his kids get to hold them up for a perfect visual. Woods: “THEY SAID WE COULDN’T MAKE IT! WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!” Outstanding.

Che and Jost are banged up so Bliss introduces them to Dr. Scott Hall and Dr. Kevin Nash. Ok then.

Booker T. is the next guest commentator.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and this year’s comic gear is…..well Mysterio appropriately enough. Now how did he never do that one before? Joe kicks him in the face but Rey is right back with the springboard hurricanrana. The 619 connects but Joe pulls him out of the air into the Koquina Clutch and Rey is out at 1:00, which may have something to do with Rey injuring his ankle on Monday. Booker being annoyed at wasting all the time on prep work is good for a chuckle.

Sneak peak of Batista’s new movie Stuber.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns returned from leukemia after a four month absence and he needs a first victim. Drew has run through the rest of the Shield as a bonus. This is your likely layup result of the show and that’s fine.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew gets played to the ring by the New York Bagpipe Band. They trade shots to the face to start so Reigns snaps off a Samoan drop for an early two. McIntyre is right back with a spinebuster into a jackknife cover for two of his own. The Glasgow Kiss knocks Reigns down again and McIntyre throws him into the corner for two. The chinlock/armbar goes on until Reigns powers out and knocks him to the floor. Reigns’ running kick to the face is blocked though and McIntyre suplexes him down.

Back in and the reverse Alabama slam gives McIntyre two so he takes Reigns up top. That earns him a crotching, only to have Drew pull himself up from the Tree of Woe to send Reigns flying with a belly to belly superplex. Reasons of general heelishness cause McIntyre to slap him in the face, meaning the comeback is on. McIntyre gets knocked outside again for the Samoan drop on the floor, followed by the Superman Punch back inside. The spear finishes McIntyre at 10:06.

Rating: D. The fans didn’t care and why should they have? As usual, it was clear that Reigns was going to win and that happens far too often at Wrestlemania. It’s amazing that Reigns got to come back here but it’s Reigns, who almost always wins, winning again in a match where the ending was obvious throughout. Nothing to see here, and the fans were silent throughout.

Post match Reigns gets to pose in a rather emotional moment.

Here’s Elias for his self described greatest performance ever. He’s on screen playing drums, with a second Elias joining him on piano and the real thing in the ring playing guitar. They jam for a bit and guitar Elias says the other two deserve a standing ovation. Elias teases more members of the band and gets in his catchphrase before loading up the song….but here’s a SPECIAL BULLETIN on Babe Ruth calling his shot in the 1932 World Series.

Cue John Cena in Dr. of Thuganomics gear and the fans seem rather pleased. Cena raps about how he’s about to turn heel and how bad his own movies are. WWE doesn’t stand for Walk With Elias because it really means Wasted Wrestling Experiment. We get a nuts joke, followed by the FU to leave Elias laying. They have history together so this was as good as you were going to get. This was funny for a change if nothing else and that’s a cool Wrestlemania feeling.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Back at Smackdown 1000, Batista had mentioned that HHH never beat him but laughed it off. Then in February, Ric Flair was having a 70^th birthday celebration but Batista attacked him, while asking HHH if he had his attention. This set up the match, with Batista demanding that HHH give him what he wanted (over and over and over). HHH has put up his career just in case the ending was in the slightest bit of doubt.

Shawn Michaels is guest commentator.

Batista vs. HHH

No holds barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista goes out to glare at Shawn but here’s HHH, riding in a Mad Max style cart because of course he is. Batista drives him straight into the corner to start so HHH is back with some right hands to the face. A backdrop sends Batista outside but he throws HHH over the announcers’ table in a crash. HHH is right back up with a ram into the barricade and busts out a chain to whip Batista over the back.

The chain is pulled into Batista’s mouth (Shawn: “That’s not going to help his movie career.”) and HHH whips him into the steps. To ramp up the pain, HHH busts out some pliers to bend Batista’s fingers around a bit. HHH isn’t done with the toolbox so he grabs some needle nose pliers and ribs Batista’s nose ring out. To be fair, that thing looked horrible. Cole: “HHH just ripped a nose ring out of the nose of Batista.” So the nose ring in his ear is still intact.

Batista’s nose is good enough to drop HHH onto the announcers’ table and then he does it again onto a different one. A chair to the back sets up the shoulders in the corner for two as things have slowed way down. Batista slams him down for two more and let’s go outside again. The steps are set on the table and another table is cleared off as this is taking quite a long time for one big spot.

The huge Batista Bomb through the table is countered with a backdrop onto (not through) the other table and they’re both down again. HHH gets up, spinebusters him through the table, and we get another breather. HHH pulls out the sledgehammer but it’s a spear to cut him down for two. This time it’s HHH knocking the sledgehammer away from Batista, earning himself a spinebuster in the process. The Batista Bomb, which makes HHH drop the sledgehammer again, connects for two.

With nothing else working, Batista brings in the steps but goes up top for some reason. That reason would be so HHH can powerbomb him onto the steps, setting up a Pedigree for two (Because this MUST KEEP GOING!). They’re both down again so here’s Flair to slip HHH the sledgehammer. HHH gets up and uses the steps as a launchpad to hammer Batista in the head. Since that’s not enough to pin him (or KILL HIM as it probably should have), Batista pops up to take the Pedigree for the pin at 25:45.

Rating: D. Why does HHH do this? They could have had the same match with at least ten minutes chopped off but for some reason we needed to get HHH’s latest big epic match, no matter how much people aren’t interested in seeing it. This was terrible with Batista looking like a shell of his glory days (fair enough) and the match going WAY longer than it should have. Horrible match, and did you expect anything else given this style of match’s history?

The B Team model Daniel Bryan WWE Champion shirts but here’s Ron Simmons for the joke.

JBL is your next guest commentator.

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

This is Angle’s retirement match as he can barely get in the ring without injuring himself these days and needs to limp away for good. Corbin is here because we all did something horrible in a past life. Angle goes after him to start but gets knocked into the corner to put him in early trouble. Corbin takes it to the corner and pounds away before mocking Angle’s family a bit. A missed middle rope ax handle sends Corbin throat first into the rope so Angle snaps off some suplexes for two.

Angle walks into a big boot but is fine enough to grab a quickly broken ankle lock. Deep Six gives Corbin two more but he misses a charge, allowing the Angle Slam to connect for two. The straps come down and the ankle lock goes on until Corbin rolls him into the corner for the break. Corbin throws in a You Can’t See Me so Angle punches him into more rolling German suplexes. The moonsault misses though and the End of Days finishes Kurt’s career at 5:59.

Rating: D. Angle does seem fine with putting Corbin over on the way out but this was another step in the seemingly eternal nonsense that was/is the Corbin push. It’s a lot to take and while I can live with Angle going out on his back, it’s a lot to take because Corbin really is going way above his pay grade every time he’s in a match like this.

Post match Angle thanks the fans and asks for one more YOU SUCK chant for the road.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with Lio Rush, is defending and they’ve traded the title, so tonight it’s the Demon to make the match feel big. Balor gets a special entrance by coming down off a raised platform, though it’s not as creepy as his NXT entrances. Lashley has very bright green contacts in for some reason. Some early dropkicks put Lashley on the floor and Balor takes him out with a dive for a bonus.

A hard drive into the apron cuts Balor off though and there’s a suplex to make it worse. Lashley clotheslines him hard to the floor but a Sling Blade gets Balor out of trouble. Rush’s distraction lets Lashley hit a HARD spear through the ropes though and a regular one gets two back inside. Balor fights out of a powerbomb and hits one of his own, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 4:01.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for something that was going so fast but at the same time, the booking still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Balor has already shown that he can beat Lashley so now he needs to bring up the powers to win? And the extraordinary thing was just a powerbomb? I’m glad to see the Demon again but this wasn’t exactly the most logical thing in the world.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the attendance record of 82,265. Cue R-Truth and Carmella for the Wrestlemania Dance Break (Remember those?).

We recap the main event of Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey and Smackdown Women’s Champion Charlotte defending against Becky Lynch in a winner take all match. Rousey is the unstoppable force, Charlotte is Charlotte and Becky is here because she’s the hottest name in wrestling at the moment and won the Royal Rumble. Tonight the winner leaves with both titles and it’s the biggest women’s match in history.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging both. In a nod to her father and the Four Horsemen, Charlotte lance in a helicopter outside and walks into the stadium. Already inside, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts play Rousey to the ring. There is something so cool about watching Becky walk down the ramp in a wide shot as Cole talks about how she has started a movement. I’m not sure if that is the right term but it looked awesome. The bell rings and even a year later I still can’t believe this happened. The women’s division was a joke just a few years ago and now it’s the biggest match of the year. That’s hard to believe and it’s very cool.

They stare at each other for a good bit to start until Becky goes after Rousey’s arm. Rousey kicks her to the floor without much trouble and that means a Samoan drop into the barricade. Charlotte follows and takes Piper’s Pit but pops right back up for a fall away slam to send Rousey into the barricade for a change. That sets up the required Charlotte vs. Becky fight with Becky getting the better of things but can’t get the Figure Four, allowing Rousey to come and hammer away.

Charlotte breaks up an armbar attempt but gets pulled into a triangle choke over the ropes. Becky hits a running dropkick though and Rousey falls HARD onto the floor in a nasty crash. That leaves Charlotte to knee Becky in the head as the fans get behind Becky in a big way. Charlotte’s moonsault hits knees and Becky gets the Disarm-Her but Rousey make the save in a hurry. A double Natural Selection gives Charlotte two each and it’s Becky going outside this time.

For some reason Charlotte tries to slug it out with Rousey, earning herself a knee to the head. Charlotte pulls her into a Boston crab, drawing Becky in for her own save. Becky and Charlotte slug it out again until Charlotte is sent to the apron. Charlotte gets caught up top with a super Bexploder for two but Rousey drops both of them with a high crossbody for a double near fall. The double armbar goes on so Becky and Charlotte powerbomb her for the break. It took three attempts but they finally got out.

Everyone is down for a bit until Becky hits a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte. Rousey goes after Becky and gets pulled straight into the Disarm-Her so she uses the ropes to power up in the corner. That’s fine with Becky, who puts it on again in the corner until Charlotte boots her in the face. Charlotte’s super Spanish Fly gets two but she might have banged up her knee. Rousey’s knee is banged up as well so Charlotte stomps away and grabs the Figure Four around the post.

After sending Becky into the barricade, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight but Becky dives in off the top for another save. Just because, let’s bring in a table but Charlotte decks Becky for taking too long to set it up. Rousey shoves Charlotte off the top and turns the table over because she doesn’t need it. A double spear takes down Becky and Rousey so Charlotte sets up the table in the corner.

Charlotte sends Rousey face first into the table and spears Becky for two more. Back up and Charlotte gets hiptossed through the table, leaving Becky and Rousey to have the slugout we’ve been waiting for. They throw some serious hands but Piper’s Pit is countered into a crucifix (with Rousey’s shoulder a good six inches off the mat in a bad botch) to give Becky both titles at 21:28.

Rating: B. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t watch it in one sitting this time around but I liked the match a good bit better on a second viewing. These three beat each other up and while Becky winning was the presumed finish, it wasn’t entirely a lock given who she was in there against. It was a heck of a fight and the three of them all came out looking great. This is much more historic than good, but it’s really rather good and that’s always a positive way to go out.

Rousey is ticked as Becky celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The positives are better than the negatives but not by much. There are some flat out bad matches on here but they are overcome by some great feelings with the faces winning all of the big matches for a change. That felt like an old school style as for the first time in what felt like forever, they didn’t cut the fans off for the sake of dragging things out until later. For once it felt like a season finale and that’s what Wrestlemania should be when it gets the chance. Good show, but it could have been a lot better.

How you ask? CUT THE SHOW DOWN! Look at how long this show is and tell me that it’s well put together. There is no need for a sixteen match card, especially with some of the matches that feel tacked on. All three Tag Team Title matches feel like they’re here for the sake of being here and some of the matches just need to be shortened. Either that or find a way to get people to the ring faster. I know it seems simple but how much of these shows are spent on ring entrances alone? Just find a way to shorten things, please.

Overall there are more good things than bad, but this isn’t a show that you need to watch in one sitting. As soon as you get to the point where the show is five hours plus an episode of Smackdown before it starts (and a Smackdown with more wrestling than usual at that), you’re hitting a firm ceiling of how much you can enjoy this. I know you can’t cut out big chunks, but find a way to get this under six hours. Do that and it’s a lot better, but that has been the case for years now and it keeps getting longer. Either way, at least we had enough nice stuff on here, but don’t watch it all at once.

Ratings Comparison

Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Original: C+

Redo: C

Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Original: C

Redo: D+

Men’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Usos vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar vs. Aleister Black/Ricochet

Original: C+

Redo: B

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Original: D

Redo: D

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A-

Redo: A

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns

Original: C-

Redo: D

Batista vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: D

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: F

Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: C

Redo: C

Ronda Rousey vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same all around, but some of those earlier ones are a good bit off. Still though, too long, despite some of the very good parts.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxv-so-much-for-no-happy-endings/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Chloe x Hallie

I’m not sure if it’s because I was in the stadium last year or something else, but this show was actually a bit more memorable than the previous few editions. Hopefully it’s just as good watching it back but you never can tell with these things. Brock Lesnar is defending the Universal Title against Roman Reigns in the main event because of course he is so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

JR and Jerry Lawler come out for commentary with Byron Saxton for a bit of a feel good moment. It’s a brawl to start with English getting backdropped out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Anderson dumps Konnor and Ziggler starts his tradition of hanging on to avoid elimination. There goes Hawkins as we still need to clear out a lot of the ring. Former partners R-Truth and Goldust shake hands with Goldust eliminating him, cutting off JR’s Bearcat Wright’s references.

Primo is out next as there’s almost nothing between these eliminations. Kanellis gets tossed and Ziggler hangs on again. Things settle down a bit unto Apollo knees Breeze as JR mocks Ziggler for always having to save himself. Viktor is gone too and the Revival beats on Ryder but he’s right back up. The Broski Boot is loaded up on Ziggler (JR: “Ziggler in trouble. Again.”) but Rawley Pounces Ryder out in a nice touch. A Liger kick from Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows as we take a break.

Apollo getting backdropped out and Benjamin follows him…and let’s look at the announcers. We come back with Rhyno and the Revival gone and Kane eliminating Axel and Dallas. And now, we look at John Cena in the crowd as a fan, because I had forgotten about that stupid story. Back with Sin Cara eliminated by Corbin and Fandango dancing at Kane, earning himself an elimination off a single uppercut.

Corbin gets rid of Slater and Kane eliminates Gable, leaving us with the big power showdown. Everyone else jumps the monsters and it’s a superkick to Titus, setting a clothesline to get rid of him. We’re down to Corbin, Dillinger, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Hardy and Kane as Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams on Dillinger. That’s broken up by Ziggler so Goldust ties him up for Shattered Dreams as well. Dillinger takes the kick but Ziggler eliminates Goldust.

That leaves us with a TEN vs. DELETE battle with a Twist of Fate and Dillinger is gone. Kane tosses Ziggler but gets eliminated by Corbin to get us down to Corbin, Hardy and Rawley. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the villains go for the elimination….but here’s the returning Bray Wyatt for Sister Abigail into an elimination for Rawley. Corbin drops Wyatt but gets backdropped out to give Matt the win at 16:36.

Rating: D+. It was a battle royal that got a lot of time and wasn’t all that interesting. The ending was a cool moment and it’s the best way to get everyone on the card, even if most of these people mean a grand total of nothing. It’s not a good match or even anything memorable, but at least it got the crowd warmed up….with an hour to go before the show itself starts.

Post match Matt thanks Bray and we get a hug, which JR deems a Wrestlemania moment.

Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Tournament final to crown a new champion after Enzo Amore was finally banished. Ali debuts his SubZero look, which he still uses a year later. They’re both very happy to be there and slaps hands before getting started. Cedric scores with a shoulder block but gets headscissored down as the announcers are right there to play up the power vs. speed idea, though you don’t exactly think of power when it comes to Alexander.

Now the 054 connects for two, the first time the move has ever only gotten a near fall. Another 054 misses and it’s a pair of spinning back elbows to Ali’s face. A third turns Ali inside out and the Lumbar Check makes Cedric champion at 12:21. Cedric immediately hugs the unconscious Ali in a nice show of sportsmanship.

Rating: B. I was pulling for Ali but it felt like a title match between two guys fighting with everything they had. Cedric was the favorite in the entire tournament but Ali came off looking like a star the whole way through. This was rather good stuff and should have been the Kickoff Show main event, though I’ll take a good match when I can.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Dana Brooke, Becky Lynch, Sarah Logan, Lana, Bianca Belair, Naomi, Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Peyton Royce, Natalya, Dakota Kai, Mickie James, Taynara Conti, Ruby Riott, Kairi Sane, Sasha Banks, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Bayley

This was going to be the Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal but history intervened and it’s just a regular battle royal this time around. Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary and the former has some advice: don’t get thrown over the top rope. Becky comes out first, everyone else comes out, followed by Sasha and Bayley to fill out the field. Miss Money in the Bank Carmella (erg) poses with the briefcase to start and everyone gangs up on her for the easy elimination.

Deville, who got the elimination, poses in the big circle of women but Dana gets thrown in the middle instead. That means trash talk from Brooke and the big beatdown is on with Mandy tossing Dana. The NXT women team up to send the main roster women outside (through the ropes rather than over, which I can’t stand in battle royals) so we can get the WE ARE NXT pose.

Becky yells at Devi about orange being HER COLOR as some of the main roster women get back in. Kai eliminates Mandy as Paige declares Deville her favorite member of Absolution. We stop for the NXT women to triple team Deville, setting up Belair’s 450, because THAT MAKES SENSE IN A BATTLE ROYAL! Deville is out and we take a break, coming back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow thanks to more ganging up on Riott during the break.

Lana and Devi are tossed and Conti gets kicked out by the Squad. Becky and Belair have a less than thrilling slugout and the hair whip is incredibly loud. Belair misses a charge though and gets kicked out, followed by Kai kicking Naomi in the face. Banks gets rid of Kai without much effort and there goes Becky to a chorus of boos (I think Becky will be fine). Ruby knocks Mickie out and it’s Royce’s turn to kick people in the face.

Logan powerbombs her out as well though and we’re down to Morgan, Logan, Riott, Bayley, Banks, Natalya and Naomi, who is out on the floor (oh dear). For some reason Natalya decides to pose with her back turned to the Squad but manages to suplex Ruby and Sarah at the same time.

Bayley saves Sasha from a suplex and helps get rid of Natalya. Morgan is out as well and there goes Ruby. Banks sends Logan to the apron and Bayley knocks her out, leaving us with Banks and Bayley. The fans actually get on their feet to cheer for this one and the handshake…lets Bayley throw Banks out to a big reaction but Naomi gets back in for the Rear View. That’s enough for the win at 9:39.

Rating: F+. I had forgotten how annoying that ending was but it makes you realize just how stupid this whole thing was. Bayley and Banks would go on to have their weird semi-feud and then partnership over the year while Naomi has done NOTHING important since this match. You have something here with Bayley and the bright idea is to do the HAHA WE TRICKED YOU ending? That’s been done to death in battle royals and it’s not like this was anything more than a surprise ending, which was really stupid given how Bayley had been searching for anything important for the last year. This actually ticked me off again so well done.

Jojo introduces Chloe and Hallie to sing America the Beautiful, describing them as the “future of music”. Well if Jojo says it then it must be true.

The opening video shows shots of parties in New Orleans and, just like in 2014, features a tagline of Let The Good Times Roll. They couldn’t come up with anything else in four years? And the theme song is still Celebrate by Kid Rock. Ok it’s a catchy song, but is there nothing else (or no one else) that they could use?

Yay pyro! And cool set with the Mardi Gras mask, which looked awesome all night long.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the lower bowl and looking not quite directly at the far post on the right side opposite the hard camera.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and we get the new idea this year: 3D graphics for some of the entrances, including Miz who gets the Miz logo and various words to describe him, including MOVIE STAR. Miz sends the Miztourage to the back because he wants to do this himself for his newborn daughter. The weird part is you couldn’t see those in the stadium (obviously) but you could see them on the screens around the building, which made your head snap around a few times.

Balor isn’t the Demon here, but instead comes out with a bunch of LGBT people in rainbow Balor Club shirts labeled FOR EVERYONE. If nothing else, it’s awesome to see the stadium doing the Balor pose at once. This was set up with both guys beating Miz in one night, because Balor beating Miz after Miz had a long match with Rollins is totally the same thing.

They all go for the way too early rollups to start with Miz being sent outside. That means Rollins can miss a Stomp on Balor but a superkick to the ribs works just fine. Balor sends Rollins outside though and it’s the big running flip dive onto both of them for the first major pop of the night. Back in and basement dropkick gives Balor two on Miz but Rollins is back in with a high crossbody.

Miz finally gets to do something other than get beaten up as we look at Cena in the crowd again. Rollins grabs a double Blockbuster for two on Miz but he’s right back up with a knee to the ribs (not face Cole). The chinlock goes on, which shouldn’t be the case less than four minutes into a triple threat. Back up and a neckbreaker gets two on Miz as they’re just trading moves until we get to the big stuff. Another chinlock seems to annoy Balor so he gets up again and hits the double stomp to Miz’s ribs.

Rollins is back in for a Sling Blade to Balor, setting up a suicide dive to Balor and Miz. A superkick drops Balor again but Miz comes in with a DDT for two. Miz goes with the strategy by bending Balor’s knee around the ropes and slapping on the Figure Four. The frog splash from Rollins (from out of nowhere for an awesome visual) breaks it up and all three of them head outside.

Balor escapes the barricade powerbomb and dropkicks them both into the barricade instead. Back in again and 1916 gets two on Rollins but Miz breaks up the Coup de Grace. Instead of the Tower of Doom though it’s the buckle bomb to Miz and a superplex into the Falcon Arrow to Balor. The Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz two on Rollins and they’re all down again.

Balor does his hop over the ropes in the corner but gets crotched for trying the Coup de Grace again. It’s just not working this time dude. Miz goes up top with Balor and catches a springboarding Rollins with something close to a super Skull Crushing Finale. Balor breaks it up with a Coup de Grace and hits a second on Miz but the Stomp breaks that up too. Another Stomp hits Miz to give Rollins the pin and the title at 15:37.

Rating: B-. This might have been a few minutes too long but Rollins winning was a fine call as he’s more than over enough and kind of fits the Workrate Champion idea to perfection. Miz can come back and break the all time days record later and Balor is over no matter what. Not a great match, but a very hot opener and the fans were into everything here.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which is billed as the BIGGEST WOMEN’S MATCH IN WRESTLEMANIA HISTORY. My how times change. Anyway Charlotte is the queen of everything and Asuka won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. It’s absolutely a dream match with Charlotte being Charlotte and Asuka still being undefeated.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and gets the full Ric Flair theme song, complete with a HHH from Wrestlemania XXX inspired entrance, meaning soldiers to help her off a throne and take her robe. Asuka on the other hand gets the CGI masks with rainbow colored lines surrounding them, which look cool on screen but live….not so much. They lock up to start and take turns flipping out of wristlocks for an early standoff.

Charlotte loads up a monkey flip but instead trips the leg for a failed Figure Eight attempt. You can feel the intensity here and it’s working well so far. Some chops to the chest (and one to the face) have Asuka in trouble but she’s right back with a hip attack to knock Charlotte outside. Back in and it’s time to start in on the arm but Charlotte gets in a backbreaker into an STO. Charlotte uses a Backpack Stunner to get out of a sleeper and a knee to the back of the head keeps Asuka in trouble.

It’s enough trouble for Charlotte to go up top for the moonsault….which is countered into a triangle for a sweet escape. Charlotte reverses into a Boston crab until Asuka makes the rope. A sliding kick to the face knocks Charlotte backwards and it’s back to the arm as Asuka continues to follow her game plan. They head to the apron with Asuka suplexing her out to the floor in a good looking crash. Sometimes you need to just go with a big spot like that and it worked very well.

Back in and they stare each other down until Asuka just erupts with strikes to the face. A missile dropkick gets two and Asuka stomps on the back. Charlotte is fine enough for the chops to catch Asuka on top and it’s a super Spanish Fly for two with the fans getting much more into things in a hurry. Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold from Asuka’s back for a cool change of pace.

Charlotte tries to flip out and into the Figure Eight but Asuka kicks her in the head for a block. Well that’s certainly to the point. The Asuka Lock is blocked and Charlotte hits a very good spear for two more as the fans are WAY into this. With nothing else working, Charlotte goes to the Figure Eight and bridges up with one arm….and Asuka taps at 13:05 in a shocker.

Rating: A-. I don’t get shocked by results very often but I was actually stunned to see how this went. I would have bet money on Asuka walking out as champion here but Charlotte winning was far from a ridiculous result. Now the problem is what this did to Asuka, as she only started to recover from the loss nearly a year later. Charlotte would lose the title to Carmella two days later, bringing some dark days to the belt. This however was anything but dark, with an outstanding match between two stars.

Post match Asuka gets the mic and says Charlotte was ready for her in the ultimate sign of respect.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something that makes him get out of his seat and run up the ramp. You really couldn’t wait until the women were gone so they could have the full moment?

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Orton is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Aiden English (now bald, meaning he shaved his head since the end of the battle royal when he had hair) handles Rusev’s entrance and we get my favorite shot every year: a closeup of someone with the camera swinging around to show the stadium crowd in front of them. There’s something so cool about seeing just how big of a stage they’re really on. Anyway, Rusev is crazy over and easily the crowd favorite. Does anyone else see an issue with Orton’s music saying “I hear voices in my head” while his Titantron says IN MY VEINS?

While you think about that, Orton and Mahal are sent outside, leaving Rusev to dropkick (yes dropkick) Roode to the floor. A RUSEV DAY Cannonball off the apron takes Orton and Mahal down again but Roode is back in with a Blockbuster for two on Rusev. The other two get back in and it’s Mahal getting beaten up by Orton and Roode before being tossed right back to the floor. Orton hits the top rope superplex on Roode with Rusev and Mahal diving back in for the save.

That’s enough for Mahal to ask Rusev for a partnership but Rusev doesn’t even bother waiting before hitting Mahal with a spinning belly to back suplex for two. Roode makes it worse by busting Mahal’s spine and hitting the GLORIOUS pose, only to have Orton make a save this time.

That leaves Orton alone in the ring and it’s the hanging DDT on Rusev. The RKO hits English, Rusev and Mahal so it’s Roode making a save of his own. Roode blocks the RKO and plants Orton with the Glorious DDT as Mahal saves. The Machka Kick drops Mahal but Sunil Singh offers a distraction, letting Mahal hit the Khallas for the pin on Rusev at 8:14. You could literally feel the energy go out of the crowd.

Rating: D+. There was some hard work in there but this was the definition of Vince saying screw the audience because it’s all about what I want. Rusev was one of the most popular guys in the company and had been for months but instead we get Mahal, who was an all time bomb as WWE Champion getting to pin Rusev.

It’s not like there was even a long term plan as Mahal would lose the title a mere eight days later. Rusev would indeed get the title nearly nine months later, after his popularity had fallen way down, meaning it was acceptable to give the fans what they want. This really hurt the show and it’s going to be hard to recover.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon and yeah I think this might help the recovery process. After being at Wrestlemania XXXI and attacking Stephanie, Rousey made her official WWE debut at the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. She wanted to go to Wrestlemania and since she was (at the time) the most dominant female UFC fighter of all time, Stephanie wanted to mold her into a WWE star.

Angle, who had been screwed over by Stephanie and HHH before, warned Ronda that they would mess with her too. That didn’t sit well with Rousey, who beat both of them up on the way to this mixed tag match. Naturally we got a lot of Stephanie workout videos because she’s STEPHANIE and that makes her some wrestling legend. It’s sickening, and I was waiting on her to survive the armbar in the match. It was clear that this was going to be full of smoke and mirrors, but the question is how well Rousey is going to do in her debut. This is one of the main events of the show and something a lot of people really wanted to see.

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon

HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles (flanked by four women on their own motorcycles), with Stephanie’s biker look (including the leather pants) making me a lot less annoyed at her. Cole: “Even though Stephanie is a former Women’s Champion, this is her Wrestlemania in-ring debut!” WWE pretending that Stephanie was a wrestler is one of their more interesting character tweaks. Rousey gets a huge reaction and of course smiles at the crowd, as is her custom. Cole talks about two people starting in UFC and coming to WWE: Ken Shamrock and now Rousey. So they’re not Dan Severn fans either?

The fans are WAY behind Rousey as they stare each other down in the middle. Stephanie shoves Rousey in the face because Stephanie just never learns. A hair pull doesn’t prove to be the brightest idea either so Stephanie bails to the apron so the guys can start us off. Angle (very badly) punches at HHH and the beating is on in the corner. A hammerlock keeps HHH does as we’re just waiting for this to explode as it should be doing.

Stephanie manages to lure Rousey in though and Angle gets low bridged to the floor. Cole calls this “that McMahon instinct” as the worship is already a lot to take. Angle gets sent into the steps and Rousey is about to lose it because she can’t intervene. Some more cheap shots from Stephanie keep Rousey angry and a spinebuster gives HHH two. A front facelock keeps Angle down but he gets a boot up in the corner.

Stephanie chokes Angle and HHH nearly hits her by mistake but it’s still too early for the hot tag. A suplex drops HHH again but Stephanie runs around and pulls Rousey off the apron. HHH gets whipped over the corner for the real crash and you can see the panic in Stephanie. The hot tag brings in Rousey (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!!!”) who SPRINTS over to Stephanie and throws her down with a suplex. After the required tug of the shorts, Rousey unloads with rights and lefts in the corner as the fans are already losing it. The release throw sends Stephanie back into the corner and Graves is terrified.

The fans want and receive the armbar….but Stephanie blocks it. Yes the hold that UFC fighters were powerless again is a simple block for Stephanie as the crowd’s soul is slapped down again. Stephanie blocks it a second time and rakes the eyes (Cole: “Complete manipulation of the rules!” Ignore the complete manipulation of reality and focus on those rules man.”), setting up a double arm crank as the fans try to process that they’re really doing this.

Stephanie even mocks Rousey, who grabs her by the throat and hits the swinging Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee. Rousey: “I’m going to continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls her out as well, apparently not a fan of such chatty opponents. Angle is back up and sends HHH over the announcers’ table but gets thrown onto the Spanish table. After a slow crawl, HHH is back in and sees Rousey, who is ready to fight. HHH puts the referee in the corner and sizes Rousey up and the beating is on in the corner.

A legsweep looks to set up the swinging Samoan drop but Stephanie makes a save. I know I’m not a big HHH fan a lot of the time but he just made Rousey look like the biggest star in the history of the division. Rousey chases Stephanie outside though and has to adjust the gear again, allowing Stephanie to post her. Angle is back in for some belly to belly suplexes and the rolling Germans but the ankle lock is countered. The Pedigree is countered as well and HHH gets catapulted into the corner, setting up the Angle Slam for two with no one making a save.

Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock and yells at Angle, who catches the boot to the ribs. HHH has to save his wife and Pedigrees Angle for two with Rousey making her own save this time. With Angle down, HHH loads Rousey up for a powerbomb but gets hurricanranaed (!) into the armbar on HHH (I completely bought that as the finish live) until Stephanie grabs a choke.

That’s reversed into an armbar and Stephanie has the gall to block it AGAIN. Angle ankle locks HHH, who rolls Angle into Rousey for the real save. Rousey and Angle get posted and it’s time for stereo Pedigrees, both of which are broken up. The armbar is slapped on again and this time Rousey uses the leverage to pull back and Stephanie finally taps at 20:37.

Rating: A. That’s not even on a sliding scale because Rousey knocked that out harder than she knocked out Alexis Davis. She looked like she’s been doing this for ten years and had one of the best debut matches I’ve ever seen. Everyone else was nailing it too and I got completely sucked into it both live and watching it back because all of the stuff was that good. Don’t have Stephanie block the armbar so often and this is an A+ easy.

That was the only downgrade, even though you knew full well it was coming. To be fair though, Stephanie did tap out clean in the end so it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing ever. Well the first part was but not the finish. After this, how can you now see Rousey as the star that she already was?

Stephanie has to be helped out, as she should. She would get armbarred again the next night for a bonus.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Kofi wastes no time in hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jey but Harper pulls him outside before the count. Jimmy gets sent into the steps and Harper crashes against Big E. against the barricade. With no one else to beat up, Woods gets powerbombed against the post, leaving Rowan to splash Kofi and Jey back inside. The mostly done Jey is thrown outside and Big E. gets knocked off the apron. Jimmy comes back in for a pair of superkicks and Jey is back up for stereo kicks to Harper’s head in the corner.

A jumping enziguri hits Harper and a superkick knocks Rowan to the floor, setting up a double suplex on the outside. Harper catches Kofi with a swinging release Boss Man Slam but gets caught with a double superkick on top. Rowan breaks up the Tower of Doom so Kofi charges at Harper, only to get powerbombed by Rowan. An assisted super sitout powerbomb finishes Kofi to give Harper and Rowan the titles at 5:55.

Rating: C-. The time cuts aside, this wasn’t the worst match in the world with the Usos and the New Day giving it all they had against the monsters but not being able to stop them. The Bludgeon Brothers were the first time a team other than the Usos or New Day had held the belts in over a year so this was long, long overdue and the right call.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network, most of which actually happened for a change.

Here’s a fired up John Cena for his match with Undertaker. This comes after weeks of Cena calling out Undertaker for Wrestlemania because Undertaker seemingly retired after last year’s show. Cena came off as the biggest jerk in this feud and acting like Undertaker owed him something. There was no confirmation that Undertaker was going to be here, hence him sitting in the crowd earlier.

That’s the other stupid part of the whole thing: Cena kept talking about how he had no path to Wrestlemania, because JOHN CENA couldn’t get a match. He gave some lame excuse about how this was the only match that mattered and it didn’t do a thing to make up for the consistently annoying lines from commentary about Cena possibly being left out of Wrestlemania. I get what they were going for, but come on already.

Anyway Cena is ready to go but here’s a referee to say not so fast. Cena is disappointed and the lights go out. It’s only Elias though and Cena heads back to his seat as Elias sings about it being his night. That’s enough for Cena who runs in and beats Elias up before looking disappointed again. Cole: “I guess that would be a Wrestlemania moment right?” He goes up the ramp but stops….and the lights go out again. A spotlight hits the ring with Undertaker’s hat, coat and boots, which are hit by lighting (looks awful on the Network, looked great when you didn’t see it coming in the stadium. They’re gone, and the gong strikes.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

I know he’s been old for ten years, but that entrance live, especially in the stadium, is chilling. Cole of course can’t SHUT UP, saying everything he can think of, including calling them the two greatest performers of all time. Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline. Old School connects and Undertaker hits some running clotheslines in the corner. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the big leg have Cena rocked but the chokeslam is escaped.

Cena’s belly to back connects but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, making Cena fall down in fear. The chokeslam into the Tombstone finishes Cena at 2:48. The more I think of this one, the more I like it. Cena ran his mouth for so long and Undertaker annihilated him here, just as he should have. While a lot of people will be annoyed at not getting a full form match between these two, I’d rather they do this than have Undertaker look back in a fifteen minute match.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony.

Here’s the Hall of Fame Class, which really doesn’t need to air on the show. They already get a whole evening to themselves. Do we really need ten minutes on Wrestlemania too?

Jeff Jarrett (eh sure, though it’s still weird to see him here)

Mark Henry (still not sure on him, though his documentary was great)

Hillbilly Jim (I’m a Kentucky boy but come on)

Ivory (she looks better now than she did during her career)

Jarius JJ Robertson (Warrior Award)

Dudley Boyz (yep)

Goldberg (yep, though I’d call the Dudleys more appropriate headliners)

Oh and Kid Rock, this year’s celebrity inductee, wasn’t there because he had a concert.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens. Bryan somehow overcame his injuries and returned to the ring in something I still can barely believe. Owens and Zayn had tormented Smackdown boss Shane for months and then attacked Bryan for firing them the night he was announced as being cleared. Therefore it’s a tag match with Owens and Zayn fighting for their jobs. Yeah that’s all well and good. The point here is Bryan actually getting back in the ring, which is almost impossible to imagine.

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon

Owens and Zayn beat McMahon up on Smackdown to cover for Shane’s legitimate medical issues. Chris Jericho was apparently on red phone alert for this show with a plan to have him fly in from a Fozzy show on the corporate jet in case Shane couldn’t make the show. Bryan gets a special entrance with a weird military/Terminator themed video showing a target on the Superdome before looking at the YES Movement spreading throughout the world in a cool moment. You can feel the emotions in Bryan as he comes down the aisle and it’s an amazing sight to behold.

Owens and Zayn jump the good guys from behind and Shane gets thrown over the barricade. Bryan takes a Helluva kick and the apron powerbomb to leave him laying. Medics come out to check on Bryan as yes, they actually are trying to stretch this out even further. Shane is willing to fight on his own and unloads with the really bad punches to Owens in the corner.

There’s the jumping back elbow but Shane grabs his stomach due to the diverticulitis (the same thing that ruined Lesnar’s UFC career). A DDT drops Sami but Owens gets in a shot to the stomach to cut Shane off. We settle down into a regular match with Sami elbowing the ribs and going for one cover after another. Owens steps on the ribs and applauds Bryan for such a great return. A t-bone suplex gives Sami two and a superkick into the Blue Thunder Bomb is good for the same. The fans don’t care about this whatsoever and there’s no reason for them to.

With Bryan STILL being tended to at ringside, it’s just a big waiting game until Bryan gets back up and makes the hot tag. The Helluva Kick misses in the corner and Sami gets tied in the Tree of Woe. Coast to Coast hits but Shane can’t follow up because of the stomach. Owens drops the frog splash on Shane but Bryan dives in for the save to bring the fans back to life. The hot tag is cut off though and we hit the chinlock to make the fans wait a little longer. A belly to back suplex gets Shane out of trouble though and there’s the tag, with Bryan taking his time before getting in for an awesome moment.

House is cleaned and it’s the moonsault over Sami into the running clothesline. Owens comes back in and Bryan gets them in opposite corners for alternating running dropkicks. Sami is back with a Helluva Kick for two on Bryan and Owens superkicks Shane to the floor. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets two more and Owens is shocked at the kickout. Shane dives onto Owens, leaving Sami to yell at Bryan for coming back and punch him in the face. That’s enough for Bryan and the fight is on, including the YES Kicks. The running knee sets up the YES Lock to make Sami tap at 15:24.

Rating: C+. This was two matches in one with the rather boring beatdown of Shane for the first half before Bryan came in and gave the fans exactly what they wanted for the second half. It was all about Bryan and that’s all it was supposed to be. The idea that he actually made it back to the ring is amazing and one of the most surprising stories you’ll ever see in wrestling. He deserved a big moment like this and that’s what we got here, albeit after Shane got in his own time of course.

Attendance announcement, with pyro because it’s Wrestlemania.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss. They were friends, but Jax found out that Bliss was making fun of her behind her back. Jax went into monster mode and chased after Bliss and her friend Mickie James, setting up this match. Now there’s no reason this shouldn’t be about thirty seconds long, but it’s Wrestlemania and what matters is getting on the card and having a long match instead of doing what makes sense.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Bliss, with James in her corner, is defending and is lowered down to the stage on a platform for a nice touch. We get the Big Match Intros and Bliss immediately backs up as she should. Jax gets smart and runs Mickie over before the bell rings to send her outside for a heck of a beatdown. Bliss tries to intervene and gets glared back to the ring, leaving James to take a Samoan drop on the floor.

We get back inside for the opening bell and Bliss slaps her in the face. That earns a scream from Nia so Bliss screams back in true scream queen fashion. A gorilla press slam has Bliss bailing to the floor and it’s time to leave, only to have Nia run her over again. Back in and Bliss pokes her in the eye before going after the knee in a smart move.

What’s not a smart move is this match already going nearly three minutes with Bliss getting in any significant offense. A basement dropkick keeps Jax in trouble but a guillotine choke is easily countered via an overhead belly to belly suplex. Jax goes shoulder first into the post as the fans are quiet all over again. Twisted Bliss to a standing Nia on the floor gives Bliss another knockdown, setting up the short DDT for two back inside.

Bliss yells at her so Nia tells her to shut up already and the destruction begins. Another poke to the eye is no sold and Bliss gets whipped hard into the buckles. Bliss goes to the eye again to get out of the Samoan drop but Jax drives her into the corner and then drops her. That’s not enough as it’s a super Samoan drop to give Jax the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D-. What were they thinking here? The whole story was that Bliss was all talk and survived because of Nia but then she hangs with Nia for the better part of ten minutes? This should have been thirty seconds long with Bliss getting the title back later on (as she did in June) after coming back from getting squashed. Just a bad idea all around here, save for Jax FINALLY winning the title.

We recap AJ Styles defending the Smackdown World Title against Shinsuke Nakamura. They had a classic match in Japan and a lot of fans wanted to see it again in WWE. Nakamura won the Royal Rumble and the match was on, with both guys trying to get in the other’s head on the way to New Orleans. So yeah, they’re just going with “it’s a dream match” for the build, which works just fine.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by Nita Strauss (awesome guitar player and rather gorgeous at the same time). The army of violinists and drummers help too. Since WWE can’t go more than five minutes without making some kind of a mistake, AJ is billed as Universal Champion. They lock up to start with Nakamura getting the better of it with some knees to the ribs.

Good Vibrations is blocked and AJ gets in his own knee before starting in on the back. Styles grabs a chinlock for a bit before dropkicking him to the floor. That’s not the best idea though as it’s a kick to the head to stagger Styles and the champ is in trouble for the first time. Nakamura’s middle rope kick to the face gets two and that’s a COME ON to set up the strikes to the face.

The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets two but AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant. A sliding forearm into the pumphandle gutbuster gets two on Nakamura as they’re trading big spots. AJ’s springboard is countered into the Landslide (Samoan driver) for two but Nakamura needs a minute before following up. With nothing else working, Nakamura goes with the kicks, which are countered into the Calf Crusher.

Since it’s Nakamura, that’s reversed into a triangle choke, which AJ powers into something like a fisherman’s buster for another double knockdown. It’s Nakamura up first and trying a running knee in the corner but the bad knee hit the buckle instead. AJ is right back with a Phenomenal Forearm for two in the required kickout of the first finisher.

The springboard 450 hits knees and Nakamura grabs a small package for two of his own. They slug it out until AJ nails the Pele but can’t follow up, allowing Nakamura to knee him in the back of the head for a much nearer fall. The reverse exploder looks to set up the Kinshasa but AJ rolls through into the Styles Clash for the pin to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B+. This was close to being a classic but it’s really just a very good match instead. Part of the problem here is how late the match came in the show. The fans were starting to get worn down and there was only so much energy left in the people. Also it never quite got to the epic level that they were shooting for with Nakamura never really getting the close near falls that he needed to take it to another level. Still that, very good and worthy of a Wrestlemania title match.

We recap the Kickoff Show. This is another few minutes that could be cut off.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

The Bar is defending after Strowman won a battle royal to become #1 contenders despite not having a partner. Therefore the big question for over a month is who would the partner be. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float, complete with people in large headed costumes for a cool visual. There’s no partner for Strowman, who breaks up the float before coming to the ring.

Strowman and the kid get in the ring where the kid is introduced as Nicholas (the son of referee John Cone). Cole: “This is really happening.” He’s never been more right. Oh and the search for a partner and introduction took about four and a half minutes, again because this show can just keep going. Strowman takes Sheamus into the corner with no problem to start before beating up Cesaro as well.

Nicholas is terrified (as he should be) as Cesaro dropkicks Strowman in the knee. A double suplex lets Sheamus drop a top rope knee, setting up an assisted swanton from Sheamus’ shoulders. Strowman comes back with a double crossbody and backdrops Sheamus over the top, bouncing him off the post in the process. To cap it off, Strowman tags Nicholas in. The kid is terrified and tags Strowman back in for the powerslam to Cesaro for the pin and the titles at 3:58.

Rating: F. I….what do you want from me here? This was an idea that completely failed because WWE had no idea what to do here and this is all they could do. Put Heath Slater or someone in there, or have Strowman do a rendition of Me And My Shadow and have him win it by himself. It was a joke that was literally forgotten the next night and stretched the show out even more because they couldn’t just cut this and put Strowman ANYWHERE else. I’m sure Matt Hardy had to win the battle royal right?

Wrestlemania 35 is in New York/Jersey. You don’t hear New Jersey mentioned here, but I guess it’s just implied.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. It’s the latest attempt to make Reigns feel like the mega star because the first few times didn’t take. Therefore he won the Elimination Chamber (beating Strowman after Strowman eliminated everyone else), THIS TIME FOR SURE! Lesnar has been champion for a year and barely ever defends the title, because that was so successful the first few times. Their fights over the last few weeks get the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and WOW the fans are not happy to see him. To make it a little better, Brock drives him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the German suplexes. Reigns pops up with a Superman Punch to send Brock to the floor as they’re starting fast again. Back in and a clothesline knocks Lesnar over the top and out to the floor as the fans chant things to amuse themselves.

Lesnar catches him with a belly to belly on the floor and another one drops Reigns on his head. There’s the required CM PUNK chant and a third belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table because Brock didn’t realize how much room he had. Back in and Lesnar throws another German suplex, declaring it SUPLEX CITY B****. More suplexes ensue because that’s what Lesnar does in a big time match. Brock gets tired of that and loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns posts him for a much needed breather.

A spear puts Lesnar onto (not through) another table as the fans boo the heck out of this. Or maybe they’re mad about losing a beach ball. The Superman Punch into a pair of spears gets two and now the fans are definitely happy with a beach ball. Brock blocks a spear with a knee to the face that brings Graves out of his chair.

The first F5 gets two and virtually no reaction from the crowd. Another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. To switch it up, another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. The fans declare it boring so Lesnar takes him outside for the fourth F5 through the announcers’ table. Lesnar takes it back inside and stands there as the fans do something else in the crowd that goes from cheering to booing during the same closeup.

The fifth F5 gets two so Lesnar takes the gloves off at Heyman’s orders. The fans call it awful as Lesnar hammers away to bust Reigns open. It’s quite the gusher but Reigns slips out of the F5 and hits a pair of spears for two. Another spear is countered into the sixth F5 to retain the title at 15:51.

Rating: D+. Well of course he does. The problem here is that there is good action in the match but it’s too much of the same stuff and the fans having none of it that took away its value. Couple that with knowing that we’re just waiting on even more Reigns title shots and promos about needing to be champion and there was no way this was going to work. The fans (including myself) were done with this WAY before the match started and that’s all there was to it.

Reigns gets cleaned up and we get the long video package. Back in the stadium, Reigns leaves and the show ends. I stood around for a long time while this was going on because the video doesn’t play in the stadium and it wasn’t clear if the show was over or not.

Overall Rating: C-. I know I (and a lot of other people) say it over and over but it’s just too long. There is a limit to how long you can sit watching wrestling in person or at home and Wrestlemania has blown past that for years now. At some point you just stop caring and there’s very little that can be done to fix such a problem. They need to do something because this isn’t going to work no matter what they do. Cut out a lot of stuff and it’s a great show, but the whole package didn’t work.

There’s a lot of good stuff in here, such as the opener, AJ vs. Nakamura, Charlotte vs. Asuka, the mixed tag and a few other moments here and there. The problem is there’s so much other stuff that either doesn’t work (the main event, the Raw Women’s Title match and the Raw Tag Team Titles are great places to start) that it really doesn’t work. Get rid of some of that and the show is that much better.

Overall, it comes down to the problem of WWE not listening to the fans. They can throw out as much good content as they want, but if you do it to annoy the fans (the US Title match) or to stretch things out even further past its expiration point (the Universal Title), it’s going to come back to mess things up. There is so much on here that fans don’t want to see and WWE just won’t fix it.

That doesn’t help the length either. If you have a show where the final match is something the fans do not want to see, you’re going to have them sitting there, already annoyed at other things in the show, for hours waiting to see something that only WWE seems interested in. How is that supposed to be appealing for over seven hours? Cut it down, give us something else to cheer for, and remember that Wrestlemania is supposed to be about the best of the best, not everyone on the roster.

Ratings Comparison

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Mustafa Ali vs. Cedric Alexander

Original: B-

Redo: B

Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: F+

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz vs. Finn Balor

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Original: A-

Redo: A

Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode

Original: D

Redo: D+

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey

Original: A-

Redo: A

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B+

Braun Strowman/Nicholas vs. The Bar

Original: F

Redo: F

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

This is an interesting one as most of the matches are within the same ballpark but I liked the show a lot better the first time around. Maybe the good was more fun just after the show, but this really didn’t do it for me nearly as well on another viewing. It’s watchable, but definitely not a very good show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/14/wrestlemania-xxxiv-the-same-old-story/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

So this was going to be Wrestlemania XXX but then I remembered I did that show last year so I picked one I remember being a lot of fun. It’s from one of the forgotten periods of the company’s history as things were mostly good, but this era really runs together for me. This show is well received and kind of a hidden gem though so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Jim Duggan, Shannon Moore, Jimmy Wang Yang, Val Venis, Cody Rhodes, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Festus, Stevie Richards, Jamie Noble, Tommy Dreamer, Kofi Kingston, Brian Kendrick, Kane, Great Khali, Miz, Mark Henry, Deuce, Domino, Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky

This show is so old it pre-dates Kickoff Shows. This is your usual get everyone on the card match, which would go completely off the rails years later. There is actually a prize as the winner gets an ECW Title shot later tonight. The brawl is on to start (as it should be) with Festus (Luke Gallows) throwing out Deuce N Domino without much trouble. Khali gets rid of Duggan (to a lot of booing) and Burke knocks out Richards.

Burke makes the eternal mistake of celebrating too much though and gets shoved out by Kane. You would think people would learn at some point. It’s Miz out next and the announcers talk about how cool it would be for young Kofi Kingston to get a title shot at Wrestlemania. Henry eliminates Moore and Yang and it’s Jesse following them out.

Festus is put out, meaning I don’t have to get him confused with Snitsky anymore. Kofi gets rid of Cade and Kendrick as the ring is clearing out a lot. Henry tosses Kofi onto the pile and Palumbo (He made it to 2008?) kicks Noble out. Actually Noble hangs on so Palumbo throws him out again, though this time Noble climbs onto the pile and stays on. I’m sure Kofi Kingston was watching that one.

Not that it matters as Khali gets rid of Noble and Palumbo but everyone gangs up to get rid of Khali. Snitsky gets rid of Holly and we’re down to Kane, Snitsky and Henry, meaning there were quite a few eliminations off camera. Henry eliminates Snitsky and we’re down to two. Kane has to escape a gorilla press and a big boot gets rid of Henry to give Kane the win.

Rating: D. They got in, they did their thing, they had the right winner and they got out in less than seven minutes. It’s not a good match or anything more than what it was supposed to be and that’s fine. Believe it or not you don’t need three matches before the show starts to warm the fans up. Something like this is a perfect choice and it worked just fine.

We get the big airplane flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet in person.

John Legend sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video features wrestlers talking about how big Wrestlemania is and how much they want to steal the show. Remember when wrestling was about how you didn’t like someone or wanted the title and not to just get on a show or steal said show? It shifts into a talk about everything that can happen in a year, including title changes, injuries, or your boss saying your career was over the next time you lost. Tonight, everyone is going to steal the show.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

This is a Belfast Brawl, meaning street fight. It’s also part of a VERY long and complicated story as Vince McMahon was told that Hornswoggle was his son, which didn’t sit well with Finlay. JBL beat Hornswoggle up one night until it was eventually revealed that Finlay was really Hornswoggle’s dad. This is Finlay’s chance for revenge. Hornswoggle is here with Finlay because….well why wouldn’t he be?

Some forearms knock Finlay off the apron to start but he whips JBL into the steps and takes it inside for the opening bell. Finlay throws in the standard assortment of weapons, with JBL getting in a trashcan to the head. The alternating trashcan lid/cookie sheet shots to the head keep Finlay in trouble and it’s time for some steps. The piledriver onto said steps is blocked and this time it’s JBL taking the metal sheet shots. Hornswoggle comes in for a kendo stick shot, allowing Finlay to grab the club for a few swings to the jaw.

Since Finlay would rather have revenge (makes sense), he puts a trashcan on JBL’s face and grabs a table. You know, because we need tables. JBL gets back up so it’s a hard clothesline to knock him right back down. Since Finlay isn’t working so well for him, JBL goes outside and slaps Hornswoggle around, earning himself a beating from Finlay.

For some reason Finlay tries a suicide dive, which is knocked out of the air with a trashcan lid shot. JBL PELTS a trashcan at Hornswoggle but the Clothesline is broken up with another can. There’s the Regal Roll and JBL gets thrown through the table in the corner for two. Finlay takes a little too long picking up the steps though and gets them sent into his head. The Clothesline From JBL is good for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly watchable brawl and that’s all it needed to be. There was no need to put this on later in the night either as JBL winning was a bit deflating and you don’t want to kill the crowd off later in the show. Get it out of the way and let the fans have a fun garbage match. Smart opener and a good little warmup.

We go to host Kim Kardashian (just go with it) for an explanation about Money in the Bank. Mr. Kennedy comes in and gets in her face, which I’m sure is completely beneath her stellar career.

John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP

Money in the Bank with Kennedy technically defending, though that’s not really a thing in a match like this. Morrison is a Smackdown Tag Team Champion (with Miz), Shelton is in his awful Gold Rush period, MVP is US Champion and Jericho is Intercontinental Champion because of course he is.

Everyone but MVP goes to the floor for an early ladder with MVP being smart enough for one to be thrown in and then kick Morrison off the apron. MVP picks up the ladder and starts using it as a weapon but Jericho brings in his own and knocks MVP’s away. Morrison throws a smaller ladder at Jericho’s before taking it up top for a moonsault with the ladder to the floor. It’s rather early for something that insane but it looked great. Everyone but Jericho is down on the floor until Kennedy runs back in and sets a ladder up.

That’s broken up by Jericho, who for some reason catapults Kennedy onto the ladder so Morrison has to ride a ladder out of the corner to get up top for a save. Benjamin is back in with his own ladder and it’s a superplex from Kennedy to Morrison with Benjamin adding a sunset bomb for your second crazy spot of the match. Carlito shoves Shelton’s ladder over….so Shelton lands on the top rope and jumps right back, though the ladder breaks. Punk goes up with Kennedy making another save so Punk gives Shelton a GTS.

Carlito cleans house next and crushes MVP’s leg in a ladder. That earns Carlito a Dragon Whip so Shelton can climb but Carlito and Kennedy turn the ladder over, sending Shelton down through a ladder bridged between the apron and the ring. The stunned looks on Carlito and Kennedy’s faces make up for the clearly wooden ladder being broken. MVP shoves Kennedy, Carlito and Jericho down and it’s Morrison going up, with Jericho being right there for the Walls on top of the ladder (that always looks cool).

Jericho has to let go to stop Kennedy though, allowing Punk and Carlito to springboard in from either side. Punk and Kennedy go down so Carlito hits the Backstabber off the ladder to bring Jericho down. JR: “A WRESTLEMANIA BACKSTABBER!” MVP is all alone so he goes up, only to have Matt Hardy run in as a surprise for a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Jericho gets back up and knocks Morrison into the corner where he interlocks two ladders upside down into a V shape.

Carlito gets sent into one side, meaning a ladder is instantly stood up. Morrison climbs up but gets it shoved back down, crotching Morrison on the top with Punk taking a ladder to the head. Jericho climbs up and gets Carlito’s apple spit in his face. Kennedy shoves Carlito into a ladder in the corner with Punk making another save. There’s a Codebreaker with a ladder to Punk, who is up fast enough to shove Jericho off the ladder and pull down the briefcase for the win at 13:54.

Rating: A-. They didn’t go with drama here and instead went with the wild series of spots, one after another. One very smart thing they did here was to get rid of someone so they only had six. That seems to be the magic number for these things and it worked well here. Punk winning the briefcase was the smart move as he’s hot at the moment and someone who could use this as a springboard to the main event scene. Heck of a match and the spectacle that belongs on Wrestlemania.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony. This is way better than having everyone come out and get a big presentation. If nothing else for the sake of time.

Here’s Howard Finkel to introduce the Hall of Fame class:

Jack and Gerry Brisco (Jack should have been in years ago)

Gordon Solie (perfect choice in Florida)

Rocky Johnson

Peter Maivia

Eddie Graham (represented by Mike Graham, who probably invented Wrestlemania)

Mae Young (who has to be kept from stripping)

Ric Flair (Charlotte has short hair here and it’s REALLY weird to see her like that)

And yes, there were just seven inductees and no one lame. It’s like this can be well done without any jokes.

Snoop Dogg, the emcee of the Playboy match tonight, is a big Festus fan. Santino Marella comes in to interrupt and doesn’t like the idea of the Playboy match. Snoop rings a bell and sends Festus running after Santino. Mick Foley shows up and apparently is cool with Snoop.

Batista vs. Umaga

Smackdown vs. Raw with Teddy Long and William Regal (show bosses) at ringside. No story here other than a battle of brand supremacy and a few brawls. Some right hands to the head have little effect on Umaga so Batista shoulders him out to the floor for some more success. Back in and Umaga goes kind of aerial with a spinwheel kick and Batista is knocked outside this time. Some hard whips into the corner have Batista in trouble and an uppercut makes things worse.

The nerve hold goes on as the fans certainly seem to approve of Umaga. The middle rope headbutt misses but Batista’s back gives out on a slam attempt. We’re right back to the nerve hold before a Samoan drop gets two. Batista fights back with right hands and is loudly booed. He’s fine enough to block the Samoan Spike and Umaga’s charge goes into the post. The spinebuster sets up a Batista Bomb (with Batista falling down) for the pin at 7:07.

Rating: D. Well that certainly clears up which show is better. This was a lame power match that didn’t get much time, which might be the best solution in this case. Batista was in need of a freshening up at this point and Umaga was just the resident monster. It’s this year’s version of “get them on the show somehow” and they didn’t exactly click.

Tale of the Tape for Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

ECW GM Armando Alejandro Estrada handles the introductions. Kane won a battle royal on the pre-show to earn this shot and comes in from the crowd to win here with a chokeslam in twelve seconds. Exactly what it needed to be, but please tell me Joey Styles and Tazz didn’t have to sit at ringside for everything before or after this match.

And now, Maria and Carlito with an ad about…..Wrestlemania?

Raven Symone is here because of a disabled kids’ charity.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels with Flair’s career on the line. Late last year, Vince McMahon decided that Flair would have to retire the next time he lost (partially because Vince is Vince and partially because Flair said that he would never retire). Flair went on a long winning streak but asked to face Shawn at Wrestlemania. Shawn made it clear that he didn’t want to finish Flair’s career but would do what he had to do, even if it meant putting Flair down like Old Yeller. There was little hiding the fact that this was going to be Flair’s last match, but it was his chance to go out with one more classic.

Ric’s plan for tonight: to be the man.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair has the blue robe one more time and while I’m still a fan of the black and white one, I can’t help but smile at seeing the classic look again. Shawn shoulders him down to start and it’s clear that they’re going to have all the time they want here. They trade some hammerlocks with Shawn getting the better of it on the mat. That’s broken up as well and we get the first WOO.

The chops in the corner let Flair yell about Old Yeller but Shawn slaps him in the face and asks if that’s all he has. An exchange of chops in the corner goes to Flair (as it should) but Shawn elbows him in the jaw and goes up. This time Flair slams him off the top and goes up…..for a crossbody into a near fall! You would think that would get more of a reaction but he has to fail at an early Figure Four attempt.

Shawn kicks him to the floor and tries an Asai moonsault, which only hits the announcers’ table, with his ribs landing on the edge which doesn’t break (I’ve seen that many times and it draws a very real cringe). That’s only good for a nine count and Shawn can barely move because of the ribs. A belly to back suplex gives Flair two and he manages a delayed vertical for the same. Note: Charles Robinson (Little Naitch) is referee here and for some reason he’s in a Smackdown shirt. Yeah he’s a Smackdown referee, but you can’t just throw him in a Raw shirt for the occasion?

Flair’s neckbreaker gets two more but Shawn sends him outside. That means a moonsault to the floor which takes Flair out and bangs up the ribs even more. They chop it out back inside and it’s Shawn’s forearm into the nipup as the pace picks up a bit. A slam drops Flair and Shawn’s top rope elbow connects, meaning it’s time to Tune of the Band. Shawn can’t bring himself to do it though and Flair grabs the legs and slaps on the Figure Four in the middle of the ring.

The hold is turned over and they load up the bridge into the backslide….but Flair just can’t do it anymore so they go into a rollup instead. It’s time for the chop block and NOW the Figure Four is on for real. Shawn crawls to the rope so Flair stomps away some more until the referee drags him away. That’s enough of a delay for Shawn to hit Sweet Chin Music for a very close two and the fans go nuts on the kickout.

Shawn loads it up again but stops to tell Flair to get up. That means a low blow (again, you knew he was getting that in somehow) for two more and the fans really bought the near fall. To mix things up a bit, Shawn sweeps the legs and tries a reverse Figure Four (thank goodness it wasn’t a Sharpshooter) to send Flair bailing to the ropes this time.

A rollup with tights gets two and they chop it out from their knees. The chops bring them to their feet and Shawn hits another superkick to put Flair down. There’s no cover though as Shawn goes into the corner and Flair slowly gets up. Shawn says the now legendary I’m Sorry, I Love You and superkicks Flair one more time, this time for the pin at 20:34.

Rating: B+. I don’t remember truly liking this one before and that’s because there are different ways to look at it. It’s hard not to look at a match like this through the emotional lens but if you take that away (which you kind of have to given that Flair wound up wrestling again), it’s actually a heck of a match with all of the old Flair tropes thrown in. Those worked for so long because it’s a great formula that can work against anyone. When you add in Shawn’s second to none abilities, there was no way this wouldn’t be outstanding.

The problem though is that Flair just can’t do a lot of this stuff anymore. He’s trying as hard as he can and what he could still do was good, but seeing him not be able to bridge up anymore was rather sad because it’s something he’s done for so many years before. I don’t remember liking this match that much but it really is a strong one, even ignoring all the other things added to it.

Post match Shawn leaves the ring and a crying Flair gets to his feet for one of the best standing ovations you’ll ever see. This is more than deserved and while he should have retired a long time ago (you could argue all the way back in the 90s), he was far from embarrassing himself and someone as influential, successful and downright talented as he was should absolutely get this kind of a sendoff. And for those who are wondering why, this was originally going to close the show but Flair refused and insisted it go in the middle.

Smackdown World Champion Edge talks about sitting in the crowd at Wrestlemania VI as the biggest Hulkamaniac in Canada. Then Hulk Hogan lost, and Edge lost his innocence with it. Undertaker has been the conscience of WWE for years but tonight Edge is bringing a cold hard dose of reality to the fans. There’s probably a kid in the audience who believes that anything can happen, even 16-0. Tonight, Edge is taking that kid’s innocence and walking out as the new Phenom and still World Heavyweight Champion.

Pyro signals the start of the second half of the show.

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley Massaro

This is the Playboy match with the rest of the women’s division as lumberjacks. Snoop Dogg is the master of ceremonies and of course he comes to the ring in a leopard print Mercedes golf cart. Snoop handles the introductions, but first throws in a couple of WOO’s in Flair’s honor. Santino is here with Beth and Melina as he doesn’t like Maria posing.

Ashley hurricanranas Beth to start and the fans are rather quiet. Some double teaming has Beth in more trouble but it’s off to Melina, who gets kneed by Maria. A lot of spinning around and screaming sets up a Bronco Buster (without the running start) to Melina. Ashley hits a middle rope X Factor but gets sent outside for a beating from the lumberjacks. We settle down to a bearhug from Beth before she puts Melina in an electric chair and flips her backwards into a moonsault.

Ashley kicks out at two and Maria dives in for the save a full second later, making things look even worse. And then the lights go out because everyone is sick of this match. A spotlight lets us see Maria kicking Beth in the head and reversing the Glam Slam into a bulldog for two. Everything breaks down and Maria dives onto Beth for two with Santino making the save. That brings Lawler to his feet to knock Santino down, leaving Beth to hit a fisherman’s buster to pin Maria at 5:59.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting here? The wrestling was terrible and the villains had to tone it WAY down for this not to be a disaster. The fans didn’t care and they couldn’t even see parts of the match, though I don’t think they particularly cared. It just wasn’t good but it served its purposes of eye candy and a breather from the emotional moment.

Post match Santino poses with Melina and Beth but gets laid out by Snoop.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Randy Orton is champion, HHH is feuding with him for the title, and John Cena, who never lost the title, won the Royal Rumble in a shocking return after being stripped of the title due to injury.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is defending. Cena’s big introduction this year is via a high school marching band, which is a pretty cool idea. After Cena’s entrance, we get a poll on who will win with Cena getting 52% and Orton finishing dead last at 8%. HHH gets a regular entrance, though it includes one of my favorite Wrestlemania shots: the closeup and the camera swinging around to show the sheer size of the stadium with all the people. Orton belts HHH in the face to start so Cena bulldogs the champ and grabs a release fisherman’s suplex.

A pair of clotheslines leave Orton as the only one on his feet so he grabs a hanging DDT to both of them at once for another pair of twos. The RKO to Cena is countered with Orton being knocked onto HHH and it’s a top rope Fameasser to the champ. It’s too early for the STFU (yes U) though as Orton bails to the floor and posts Cena to take over again. That’s enough for HHH to start in on Orton’s leg but he has to deal with Cena, allowing Orton to nail a quick RKO.

Cena is back up with the STFU and Orton has the hand up to tap, only to have HHH guide the hand down onto the rope instead. HHH sends Cena into the steps and continues the torture of Orton continues with an Indian Deathlock. Cena makes the save and sends HHH outside this time, setting up another STFU on Orton.

Back in and HHH can’t pull Cena off of Orton so he puts Cena in a Crossface for the break instead. That’s broken up as well and it’s a big time slugout between HHH and Cena. HHH walks into the flying shoulder and the Shuffle but the STFU is kicked away. The spinebuster plants Cena and HHH cuts Orton off before hitting the Pedigree on Cena….but Orton Punts HHH and pins Cena to retain at 14:09.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two matches with HHH and Cena having a Wrestlemania match and Orton running in and out as much as he could to mess with things. Orton just does not feel like he’s on this level (which has often been the case) and it was the case again here.

You could feel the crowd deflate when he won the match, which makes sense as a heel and it does make him feel more definitive as a champion, but it came off like we were waiting on some big moment and instead got Orton. Again. These title matches and reigns completely run together over the years and this is just another (good) match in a very long series.

Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Big Show returned at No Way Out after over a year off. Mayweather was at No Way Out as well and came over the barricade to hit some crazy fast punches to a kneeling Show, one of which broke his nose. Now we’re having the freakshow match, which could be highly entertaining. However, with that out of the way, eleven years after the angle, I still have no earthly idea who I’m supposed to cheer for. Is it the wrestler? Is is the loudmouthed guy who is in way over his head from a physical standpoint? Is it the guy who was attacked and wants revenge? Is it the guy who is one of the best fighters of all time? Why is this so complicated?

Anything goes here and you can win by pinfall, submission or knockout. Money rains down for Mayweather’s entrance and he has seven people with him. Mayweather is smart enough to dodge around to start and he peppers Show with some fast shows to the ribs. A right to the jaw makes Show mad and Mayweather punches him a few more times to make it even worse. Hang on though as we need to stop so Mayweather can have a drink from…..a jewel chalice?

Show beats on the entourage as the smoke and mirrors begin. Mayweather looks on as Show chops a bodyguard and starts dancing around again. A right hand is caught and Mayweather slips away before Show can stomp on it. Show sits him on top but that just lets Mayweather get in a much better right hand, setting up the required sleeper/choke on the back. Show finally realizes that Mayweather is the size of a teenager and throws him off, setting up the stomp on the hand. Mayweather’s manager: “YOU CAN’T BE DOING THAT!”

Mayweather takes the SHH chop in the corner and the pain is intense. Apparently Show can’t do that either and a side slam (which brings the fans to their feet) probably isn’t approved either. Show legdrops the arm and stands on the stomach and it’s time for the entourage to pull Mayweather out, saying they’re done because this isn’t what they signed up for.

They head back to the ring where one of the bodyguards chairs Show in the back. Mayweather gets in a few more shots and a low blow, followed by more chair shots to the head. One of the gloves comes off and Mayweather steals some brass knuckles from the down handler for the knockout win at 11:34.

Rating: B. Yeah this is still a blast. Confusing as I have no idea who to cheer for (seriously, try to figure that out), but it’s so much fun with all the wackiness that only makes sense in wrestling. Mayweather would be a much bigger heel today (and someone that WWE couldn’t afford) but what we got here was all kinds of entertaining and one of the most fun things on the show.

Wrestlemania ad, featuring Batista.

Kim Kardashian announces the attendance and sounds miserable again.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. The video starts with a look at the Streak, which morphs into a video of Edge costing Undertaker the title multiple times, including by cashing in Money in the Bank. Edge is going to make it 15-1 and it turns into the standard “I’ll break the Streak/the Streak will live on” video. In other words, another well done package.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Undertaker is challenging and we’ve got druids with torches. Teddy Long wheels out Edge’s fiance Vickie Guerrero, who kisses him for luck in a story that felt like it would never die. Some early clotheslines put Edge on the floor and Undertaker gets in his Stunner over the top rope. The jumping clothesline (more like a shove here) gets two and it’s time for Old School, with Edge pulling him down, only to have Undertaker armdrag Edge down instead. I’ve never seen that otherwise and it’s rather out of place for Undertaker.

Edge avoids a charge though and Undertaker goes outside, with Edge knocking him into the barricade for a bonus. A swinging neckbreaker across the top rope has Undertaker in more trouble and a running shoulder in the corner makes it even worse. Edge goes up and gets knocked off the top, setting up a Taker Dive that doesn’t get as much of a reaction as you would expect.

There’s the apron legdrop (Coach calls it a dropkick) but Undertaker’s back is bothering him. It’s bad enough that he can’t hit the Last Ride, allowing Edge to boot him back to the floor. Back in and it’s a half crab to work on the weakened back, followed by Edge laying next to Undertaker and pulling on both legs at once. A rope is grabbed and that means it’s time to slug it out, which you don’t do against undertaker. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is cut off by a dropkick for another near fall.

The Tombstone is broken up and the Edge-O-Matic drops Undertaker. He’s fine enough to pop back up and FINALLY connect with Old School but Undertaker kicks the referee down by mistake. That means a spear to put Undertaker down but, like many great ones before him, Edge takes too long running his mouth and gets grabbed by the throat. Unlike many other great ones before him, Edge gets in a low blow and steals a camera (which he used at Survivor Series).

The running shot to the head connects but the referee falls to the floor. The camera cuts away from the situp for no apparent reason, followed by the Tombstone to Edge. Charles Robinson sprints down the crazy long ramp to count two after a funny sprint. Cue the Edgeheads (Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins) for a distraction but Undertaker gets rid of them, only to walk into a spear for two. The second spear connects but this time Undertaker pulls him into Hell’s Gate for the tap at 23:49.

Rating: A-. This is a forgotten classic that almost never gets the respect it deserves. Edge having all of the counters and making you believe that he could have just enough tricks up his sleeves to pull off the upset was a great story and the action more than lived up to the hype. This match never gets old, but it also never gets remembered, which is quite the shame as it’s awesome.

Undertaker poses and the long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. Why don’t more people talk about this one? The only two bad matches are Batista vs. Umaga and the women’s tag and those don’t even combine for fifteen minutes. This is another well paced show (clocking in at less than three hours and fifty minutes) with one great match after another. I always have a good time with this one and if you tweak it just a bit, it’s on the all time list. Excellent show and worth another look if you haven’t checked it out lately.

Ratings Comparison

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: A-

Batista vs. Umaga

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B+

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: F+

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Original: D-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A

Was I just in a really good mood or something this time?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/02/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-the-underrated-classic/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-2015-redo-one-woo-for-the-road/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the big one as things have to change at some point in WWE. I’m curious to see how this show goes as I haven’t seen the television leading up to it since the show aired so maybe the show will feel a little bit different. The theme is Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood, which has included some outstanding movie parody trailers. Oh and Batista and John Cena look more than ready to become the top stars in the company. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Tajiri, William Regal, Rhino, Hurricane, Rosey, Maven, Simon Dean, Gene Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Tyson Tomko, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway, Viscera, Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Mark Jindrak, Funaki, Akio, Orlando Jordan, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Heidenreich, Luther Reigns, Booker T.. Paul London, Spike Dudley, Scotty 2 Hotty

This is your “get them all on the show” match, which was likely just the DVD extra. They’re all in their show colored shirts with Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long at ringside. Before the bell, Hurricane gives Heidenreich his own mask so Heidenreich punches him in the face. Must be a villain. The fighting starts with Spike being sent to the steps as Hurricane makes the mistake of hammering away in the corner, making him the first elimination.

Reigns is out next as the ring is still very full. A bunch of the cruiserweights hold Viscera down so Scotty can hit the Worm. That high level of missing the point could explain why they don’t get on television very often. Masters doesn’t like that line of thinking and dumps Scotty, Funaki, Spike and Kidman in a hurry. Haas is tossed as well as the ring is clearing out a bit.

Masters dumps Nunzio, though it might not have been over the top. With nothing else to do, Heidenreich destroys a turnbuckle and tears off his mask before clotheslining the heck out of Venis for an elimination. Dean and Grenier are out as well, followed by Rosey, all at Heidenreich’s hands. Rhyno is out next and it’s Dupree following him in a hurry. Both Bashams go out as the fans are behind Regal.

With about twelve people left, we get the always natural looking Raw vs. Smackdown showdown with Akio and Holly being tossed, followed by Regal to even things up a bit. Tajiri mists Heidenreich so the blind monster gets rid of London. Heidenreich and Tajiri fight on the apron until Snitsky gets rid of them, leaving us with Jindrak, Booker, Masters, Snitsky and Viscera.

Jindrak gets rid of Snitsky and hits the big left on Viscera….which staggers Jindrak so much that Masters can get rid of him. Nunzio does the “I’M STILL IN” deal, only to be tossed seconds later. Viscera crushes Booker in the corner but he’s fine enough to low bridge the monster to the floor. The full nelson is broken up and a superkick gives Booker the win.

Rating: D+. It’s kind of hard to get too annoyed at a match like this as the whole point is getting people on the show and therefore onto the DVD, which is a nice bonus for the talent. I know this isn’t the most important match but it came and went fast enough and wasn’t terrible. Assuming you can ignore the RAH RAH RAH Raw vs. Smackdown aspect, it’s nothing too bad.

Lilian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. She’ll have a job in WWE as long as she wants one for how good she can make that sound.

The Titantron is revealed with the red curtain coming up. They’re nailing the theme this year.

We get a montage of the trailers, leading to the big reveal of the final trailer: Gladiator, featuring Steve Austin as Maximus. It’s a cool idea and suitable casting but there were better trailers.

It’s strange to see Wrestlemania in an arena. That’s one of those things you’ll probably never see again.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Not a bad way to start and the red carpet in the aisle makes it even better. They’re the Smackdown Tag Team Champions but Eddie isn’t sure if he can beat Rey. There’s no superhero outfit this year as Rey has Mexican/American flag inspired gear. Rey flips out of an armbar to start and hits a running knee but has to adjust the mask. A second armbar works a bit better for Eddie and but Rey pops up and climbs onto Eddie’s shoulders.

The sunset flip is countered into a catapult to the floor but Rey switches places and teases a dive to take us to an early standoff. Eddie takes him down into a keylock to stay on the arm before sending Rey outside. Since he’s a luchador as well, Eddie busts out his own dive to the floor, with the fans rather pleased with him. Rey adjust his mask again, as he isn’t wearing the regular kind and the clasp is different, causing a lot of issues.

Back in and Eddie stays on the arm (instead of the leg because Eddie is smart, since working on Mysterio’s leg hasn’t worked well for most people) before switching over to a surfboard. That’s broken up so Rey armdrags him to the floor, meaning the big corkscrew flip dive can take Eddie down. A backbreaker gives Eddie two though as Rey can’t keep the momentum going. Rey gets back up and tries the 619 but walks into another backbreaker for two, allowing Rey to fix the mask again.

Three Amigos connect, with Rey holding his mask the whole time. The extra vision lets Rey avoid the frog splash and now the 619 connects. The West Cost Pop is countered into a hard powerbomb for two as they go back to the back. Eddie tries another powerbomb but this time Rey reverses into a hurricanrana for the pin and one final mask adjustment.

Rating: B-. I don’t know how much the mask stuff messed with Rey but it seemed to be causing at least a bit of a problem. He had to mess with that thing probably a dozen times in a twelve minute match and it was becoming really noticeable. The idea here is to continue Eddie’s descent into jealousy over not being able to beat Mysterio and that could be a heck of a story.

JBL and the Cabinet meets Evolution. HHH says Ric Flair is the wrestling god and maybe one day someone will believe that JBL is that good. A staredown over belt importance and a WOO to Orlando Jordan ends a terrifying prospect. Somehow, JBL and HHH only had one singles match ever against each other and it was on a random Raw in 2008. You would think they would have met at least a handful of times.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Edge vs. Christian vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Money in the Bank with Tyson Tomko out with Kane. Kane gets a cool entrance where the ladders on the set are on fire. Almost everyone goes after Kane in the aisle and a variety of double teams take him down. Christian tries to use the melee to bring in a ladder but Jericho slams it into his face. A springboard dropkick sends Edge into Benoit to knock them both off the apron, followed by Jericho’s dive onto Edge.

Shelton hits the big running flip dive onto a bunch of people, with Kane adding the top rope clothesline to take down the same pile plus Benjamin for the wipe out. Back in and Jericho dropkicks a ladder into Kane but Benoit German suplexes Jericho, sending the ladder flying in a cool shot. Benoit’s climb is cut off so he Crossfaces Kane and then Edge, the latter of which allows Kane to hit Benoit with the ladder.

To make it worse, Kane crushes Benoit’s arm in the ladder over and over. Edge spears Kane down and it’s the big reunion with Christian, who grabs his own ladder to smash Kane at the same time. Now it’s Shelton coming in to send Christian outside and flapjack Edge into the ladder. Shelton and Jericho fight on top of the ladder until two more ladders are brought in (Lawler: “It’s like open house at Home Depot!”), meaning it’s everyone but Kane on top at the same time.

Benoit, Jericho and Christian are knocked down, leaving Shelton to hit the exploder on Edge off the ladder for the huge crash. Jericho is left to go up but Shelton runs up a second ladder to clothesline Jericho off because he can do something like that. Christian knocks Shelton off the ladder as Kane returns from the short term death that afflicts wrestlers in ladder matches. Tomko comes in and kicks Kane in the face before helping Christian to the top in a bit of a call back to TLC II.

Kane is back up though and shoves the ladder over, sending Christian down to the floor and onto Tomko. Jericho and Kane knock each other off the ladder and everyone is down as we need a breather. With Kane down, Benoit (bleeding from the head) hits the Swan Dive off the ladder. Benoit goes up but has to headbutt Kane off but the arm is too banged up to get the briefcase. Edge blasts Benoit in the arm with a chair though and that’s enough to pull down the briefcase for the win.

Rating: A-. Yeah this was great with more time for drama and fewer instances of having the people laying around forever because there are too many people in the match at the same time. Edge winning is the best call as no one has been chasing the title like him and now he can steal the title down the line. It’s a heck of a fight though with a bunch of awesome spots and stuff that kept the fans interested without many dead spots. Great stuff and an awesome way to debut the concept.

Here’s the still injured Eugene, whose music doesn’t start until halfway down the aisle. This is his second favorite Wrestlemania moment every, after the midget army getting together to fight off King Kong Bundy at Wrestlemania III (Hillbilly Jim was included as well, and he spent a good hour talking about it during his Hall of Fame speech). Cue Daivari and Muhammad Hassan to complain about not being on the show (that they’re on) and rant about the prejudice in Los Angeles.

Hassan is ready to make his own Wrestlemania moment and jumps Eugene, setting up the camel clutch. Cue Hulk Hogan or the REAL AMERICAN save, including a double noggin knocker. Hassan gets sent outside so Daivari can hit Hogan with a chair. Since that doesn’t work, it’s a big boot and another toss to the floor so the posing can commence. Hogan even gets to do the big pose in front of the huge American flag on the stage. Yeah it’s old hat but I’ll always be a Hulkamaniac so this made me smile.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton won the World Title last fall but lost it in a hurry and has been on a slow downward spiral since. He needs to get back on track so he’s going after Undertaker and the Streak while turning heel in the process. Orton’s dad Bob is helping him a bit, because Orton has slid far enough that he needs that kind of help.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

The druids with the torches are here so you know it’s serious. Undertaker glides to the ring for a pretty cool entrance, which goes much faster than usual for a bonus. Orton comes out second for some reason, albeit with his own cool entrance of pyro raining down behind him as he poses with the still awesome Burn In My Light playing. After some early dodging, the first right hand gets Orton launched into the corner.

The dropkick out of the corner gets two and Orton backdrops him for a bump you don’t see from Undertaker that often. The early RKO attempt is shoved over the top as Undertaker is starting a bit slowly here. Old School connects but Orton is back up with a dropkick to the floor to take over. Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and Snake Eyes connects. The ensuing big boot is cut off with a running elbow though, sending the fans straight into a LET’S GO UNDERTAKER/RANDY SUCKS chant.

The slugout goes to Undertaker and we hit the dragon sleeper as Undertaker busts out some different stuff for a change. Orton breaks out and grabs a sleeper, which doesn’t please the crowd. The counter before Orton can take him to the ground is more appealing but Orton is back with a powerslam.

For some reason, Orton hammers away in the corner, meaning he has to escape the Last Ride. The referee gets bumped though and here’s Bob with a cast shot to Undertaker’s head for the close two. Undertaker boots Bob off the apron and grabs the chokeslam, which is reversed into the RKO in midair (one of my favorite counters ever) for two and a big sigh of relief from the fans. For reasons of general cockiness, Orton tries his own Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing to make Undertaker 13-0.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but it never came close to that higher level. It would take a little longer for Undertaker to get that much better at Wrestlemania so for now it’s just a good one. Orton was trying here and looked better than he has in a long time, though aside from that one RKO, he never felt like a real threat here. Still though, one hot near fall is better than none and it wasn’t bad by any stretch.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme. It’s the annual Playboy match as we’re now supposed to believe that Christy can wrestle and isn’t just there because of her looks. Lita has been training Christy and is more interesting than anything Christy has been doing. Keep in mind that Christy isn’t at fault here. She isn’t a wrestler and is being thrown into a match because she won a modeling contest. That’s on WWE, not Christy.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Trish is defending and Christy has Lita with her. The bell rings and Trish drops to the mat but kicks Christy away in a rather heelish move. They head outside with Trish sending her into the steps, followed by some chops in the corner back inside. The Chick Kick misses and Christy hits one of her own as the fans are just gone for this.

Christy does the splits on top to set up a sunset flip for two, only to have Trish spear her down. We get the BORING chants as Trish stops to yell at Lita, allowing Christy to start in with the kicks. The reverse Twist of Fate and a rollup give Christy two each but Trish has had it. That means the Chick Kick to retain the title and end Christy’s wrestling run.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting? Trish was wrestling herself here as Christy was only good for some tumbling and that Twist of Fate. The women’s division is all but dead at this point and it’s likely going to be a long time before things get better. Christy was trying here but had no business in this spot.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels. Angle was annoyed that Shawn eliminated him from the Royal Rumble and beat him up, setting off the big feud. Kurt is annoyed that people were talking about Shawn in 1996 when Angle was an Olympic champion. Now Angle wants to prove that he is the better man on the biggest stage. Shawn is down with that because he’s Shawn Michaels and it’s Wrestlemania. This is more or less WWE saying “yeah it’s going to be a classic and everyone knows it.”

Various celebrities are here.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

They stare at each other both before and after the bell until Shawn slaps him in the face. That makes Angle take him to the mat and Shawn is completely outclassed there. A headlock takeover works a bit better for Shawn as the fans are behind Angle for a bit of a surprise. The headlock stays on for a good while as they probably have a lot of time here. Shawn switches over to a short armscissors, allowing Angle to power out ala Bob Backlund (his old mentor).

Shawn is right back with the headlock but this time Angle powers up and takes him into the corner. The ankle lock is quickly broken up and it’s Shawn with a Cactus Clothesline to put them both on the floor. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Angle hits an Angle Slam into the post to take something out of Shawn. A suplex gives Angle two and it’s off to the bodyscissors to stay on the ribs/back.

The belly to belly gets two and it’s a reverse chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back. Angle’s belly to belly superplex is broken up but Shawn misses the top rope elbow. Shawn is fine enough to backdrop Angle to the floor and he’s crazy enough to hit a high crossbody to the floor with the knee possibly hitting Angle in the face. Angle gets back up and teases the German suplex off the apron to make the fans a little nervous.

A low blow gets Shawn out of trouble and that means the springboard spinning splash onto Angle onto the announcers’ table for less of a pop than you might have expected, mainly because the table doesn’t break. They head back in for the slugout into Shawn’s forearm and nipup so things can pick up again. Sweet Chin Music (way too early) is countered into the ankle lock, setting up the big crawl to the rope. Angle gets it again but this time Shawn reverses into a rollup for two.

Another Sweet Chin Music attempt is countered into the Angle Slam for two as frustration is setting in. In another awesome moment, Angle pulls his straps up so he can pull them right back down again because you know it’s serious. The moonsault misses though (probably spent too much time with the straps) so Shawn goes up, only to get caught in the super Angle Slam for two, meaning Angle looks ready to cry at the kickout.

Angle talks a bunch of trash so Shawn snaps off Sweet Chin Music to shut him up. That gets a very delayed two and they both need a breather. Angle picks the ankle into the ankle lock as he’s right back up but this time Shawn can’t kick away. Shawn fights everywhere but finally gets pulled down into the grapevine for the tap (after a nearly goofy amount of time).

Rating: A+. Yeah what else do you want here? They told an outstanding story with Shawn going with the natural talent but Angle just wanting it that much more and turning up the intensity to a level Shawn couldn’t reach. It made Shawn look like he couldn’t beat Angle on his best night, all while putting in an instant classic. These two went back and forth with one big spot after another and Angle took away a lot of Shawn’s strength by working on the back. Check this one out if you haven’t in a while as it’s worth seeing again.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit (and I think there was an edit in there as the set was put together in the blink of an eye). Piper thanks the fans for the Hall of Fame but wants to get down to business. He wanted the meanest and baddest man in WWE so his guest is Steve Austin. Cue Austin (with a glass breaking transition as we cut to the stage), with JR saying that he’s back at Wrestlemania. He hasn’t missed one since 2000 so that’s not the biggest accomplishment. Piper asks if Austin is the rebel and slaps him in the face so Austin calls him an SOB and returns the slap. Piper: “I kind of like you.”

With that out of the way, Piper talks about respecting Austin but gets cut off by the WHAT chants, which he doesn’t seem to understand. Piper takes issue with one thing: he was ticking Vince McMahon off when Wrestlemania didn’t even have a number. Austin and James Dean have nothing on Piper when it comes to being a rebel. Austin runs down Piper’s appearance and they get in each other’s faces, allowing Piper to quote Cool Hand Luke about a failure of communication.

Cue Carlito, with Piper and Austin accusing each other of bringing him out. Piper: “I’ll get back to you.” Carlito accuses both of them of arguing like girls, before declaring them both non-cool. Piper: “Who the h*** are you? You look like Alfalfa.” Carlito wants the two of them out of here and loads up the apple but Piper takes it away.

It’s Carlito taking the spit this time so Carlito hits him in the face as Austin laughs. Bored of that, Austin beats Carlito up and Piper sends him outside. Beer is consumed until Austin Stuns Piper. This completely missed as Piper and Austin didn’t have anything to say to each other. Carlito getting to be out there was a nice few moments for him but this was all about the legends, who didn’t need to be there.

It’s immediately time for the sumo match with a much harder cut to Cole and Tazz. They had to edit something out of there and we get a VERY long crowd shot during the next entrance. That was probably to remove the ropes, but it still felt like something was cut.

Upon further review, they aired the You Talking To Me trailer here and announced it as winning the Best Overall Trailer award. They’ve aired that on Raw and Smackdown, so why cut it here?

Akebono vs. Big Show

They do the full traditional opening as the fans are really not interested in this one. We finally get going, they slap each other, pull at the gear a bit, Show lifts Akebono and spins him around, and then Akebono wins. This didn’t work again as it came and went as it just wasn’t the right thing for a show like Wrestlemania. Akebono never wrestled for WWE again and I don’t know if he ever appeared again so I’m not sure what the thinking was here.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield for the Smackdown World Title. It’s built around a culture clash with JBL being the old, rich traditionalist while Cena lives by his own rules and cares about the people. Cena won a tournament to get the shot so JBL talked about how people like Cena didn’t deserve to be champion. He couldn’t get Cena to go too far though and Cena is ready to explode here.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending and gets a police escort into the arena. Just to show off, we get a shower of JBL dollars, which are always a nice touch. They trade shoulders to start with JBL getting the better of it (the big boot out of the corner probably helped a bit). A suplex gives JBL two and he chokes Cena on the ropes for a bit. Back up and Cena is fine with getting into a slugout but JBL catches him with a Ron Simmons style spinebuster. A neckbreaker and some clotheslines stay on Cena’s neck, followed by a sleeper to do something similar enough.

Cena slips out and it’s a double clothesline to keep up the slow pace. JBL sends him outside for another neckbreaker before going up top for some reason. That earns him a slam out of the air but Cena can’t follow up. Cena starts his comeback but the fans aren’t quite thrilled. The Shuffle gets some energy flowing and after ducking the Clothesline From JBL, the FU gives Cena his first World Title out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Very bleh match here as there was no drama and the match just ended out of nowhere with Cena shrugging off the first ten minutes and winning with very little drama. I know the match itself doesn’t matter that much but Cena wasn’t ready to carry something like this and JBL was never capable of carrying something like this, leaving us with a very underwhelming match.

That’s also the end of JBL’s long title reign and really, it was a lot better than I remember. JBL can talk very well and while his matches weren’t great, it didn’t come close to dragging as a lot of people (myself included) remember. Maybe it was knowing when it was going to end but I didn’t mind this nearly as much as I expected to. JBL winning the title in the first place was a big stretch but he held it a lot better than I would have guessed.

Hall of Fame video. Hogan and Piper were long overdue. Heenan on Iron Sheik’s speech: “WHAT THE H*** DID HE SAY???”

Gene Okerlund brings out the year’s class:

Nikolai Volkoff (sure why not)

Iron Sheik (just don’t let him talk….or maybe let him talk….it could go either way)

Paul Orndorff (belongs in for 1986 alone and is smart enough to point at Miss Jackie)

Bob Orton (always good for a solid performance and still selling the injury from earlier)

Jimmy Hart (yep, and comes off as one of the nicest guys ever in wrestling)

Roddy Piper (would have headlined almost any other class)

Hulk Hogan (odds are we’re not here without him)

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH has dominated the World Title scene for a long time and has used Evolution to help him hold onto the title. Batista has proven to be unstoppable and then won the Royal Rumble. HHH tried to talk him into going to Smackdown but Batista overheard the evil planning, sending Batista onto a path towards Wrestlemania and the title. This isn’t the hardest result to figure out and the fans are begging to see Batista take the title away from HHH for good.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH is defending and has Ric Flair with him, plus Motorhead plays him to the ring, just in case you thought Batista was cooler. I mean, you can barely understand the words because Lemmy butchers it in a great Brutus Beefcake impression but HHH rising up through the stage makes up for it a bit. Batista doesn’t get much of a pop, mainly due to the lack of the famous band performing his music.

The early power lockup lets them drive each other to the ropes but it’s only good for a standoff. They do it again with HHH’s running shoulder having no effect other than waking HHH up a bit. Another shoulder drops Batista but he’s right back up with something close to a powerslam. Batista hits a backdrop, only to have HHH knock him outside to cut the momentum off again.

Flair’s distraction lets HHH send Batista into the steps and Flair gets in some choking with the jacket. Back in and HHH gets two off a suplex, setting up more Flair choking. Whatever emotion the fans had for Batista after that HHH entrance is long gone now as HHH has beaten him down for about seven of the eight minutes the match has been going so far. Batista slugs away but walks into the spinebuster, because of course HHH needs to hit a spinebuster as he dominates Batista in the biggest match of Batista’s career.

A backdrop breaks up the Pedigree attempt but HHH is RIGHT BACK with the facebuster, leaving him on defense for all of three seconds. HHH goes up and gets clotheslined out of the air to no reaction as the fans are gone. They’re smart enough to realize that HHH is going to cut Batista off again and, as expected, Batista charges into a big boot in the corner just a few seconds later. Batista sends HHH over the corner, only to have HHH whip him into the steps.

The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a catapult into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and it’s time to hammer on the cut as the fans finally have something to cheer about. The big running clothesline in the corner rocks HHH and a powerslam gets two as there isn’t quite the energy in the offense that you would expect. It feels like they’re just doing stuff to fill time until the ending instead of of building something up.

Batista sends him outside but goes after Flair, allowing HHH to grab the chair, which hits the referee by mistake. Flair’s belt shot is countered with a spinebuster but HHH’s belt shot gets two. The fans react to the kickout and Batista hits the spinebuster for the big reaction. That’s too much cheering for HHH’s liking so he hits Batista low. Batista blocks the Pedigree with raw power though and hits something like White Noise. The Batista Bomb finally makes Batista champion.

Rating: C. It was miles better than Cena vs. JBL but egads this didn’t do Batista any favors. This was more about giving HHH a big sendoff as champion than making Batista look like a star and….I can’t say I’m surprised. Batista has looked so dominant and smart for the last six weeks that HHH probably couldn’t help himself from cutting him off. HHH did put him over, but it could have been a lot stronger without HHH beating him up and outsmarting him for the first half of the match. Much like the previous match though, it’s all about what comes next rather than what happened here, but HHH made sure to make himself look good.

The big celebration and highlight package wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B. Much like last year, this really needed forty five minutes to an hour trimmed off (and again it’s easy to see what should be gone) to make it great. As it is it’s quite good but there are a lot of times where it felt like it was dragging. The two World Title matches were outclassed by Money in the Bank and Shawn vs. Angle (not exactly shocking on either front) but they got the endings right and aside from the sumo match and Piper’s Pit (which wasn’t that long), only the very short women’s match is bad (and that has various other positives).

What we got here was a strong Wrestlemania, but it needed some time trimmed off to really make it great. That being said, this is still far better than the five hour monstrosities we get now. It’s a completely watchable, at times great and very important show though, meaning it feels like Wrestlemania. The streak of good Wrestlemanias continues, though the show getting longer isn’t the most encouraging sign. Check out the ladder match and Shawn vs. Angle if you have the time though as they’re worth a second look (or nineteenth look in some cases).

 

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