Who said wrestling is a modern art?

https://www.archaeology.org/issues/139-1407/trenches/2178-oxyrhynchus-papyrus-wrestling-contract

What you’re looking at is a contract from the year 267 AD, saying that two teenagers would be having a wrestling match and one of them would take a dive in exchange for money.  So yes, wrestling with fixed results goes back nearly 2000 years.  Check the link for the full text, which even goes into the amounts paid for the loss.

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 11, 2004
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and hopefully this show is a little more inspiring than Monday’s efforts. Survivor Series isn’t looking like the most thrilling show in the world but under the right circumstances, Smackdown’s half could be a little bit better. Hopefully this week features a little less Tough Enough, but I don’t think we’ll be that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As promised last week, we open with the Tough Enough guys waiting for the Torrie Wilson Sex Test. Two women from the Tonight Show are here to call the action, but first Al Snow needs to give Chris Nawrocki a chance to quit due to having a broken rib. He says no so it’s time to announce the first cut: Nick Mitchell, who was dressed as a cowboy for the Sex Test, complete with the pockets cut out of the back of his jeans with nothing underneath.

With that out of the way, here’s Torrie with a riding crop. Mizanin, in a Santa hat and Santa boxer shorts, holds the ropes open for her. Each one of them has fifteen seconds to make out with a WWE Diva, who will then pick the winner for a very special surprise. Torrie brings out Dawn Marie (in very little clothing) as I hope people aren’t falling for this so far. And yeah, Torrie brings out Mae Young for the least surprising surprise ever.

Puder goes first and gets pulled down as the Tonight Show women offer absolutely nothing. Mae jumps into Justice’s arms and gets spanked, sending Tazz into hysterics. Rodimer wants a peck and gets taken down to the mat. Reeves gets the same but winds up on top of Mae.

Mizanin has condoms and gets on the mat as well, where he spanks Mae a bit. She chokes him for an image I never needed to see. Nawrocki goes last and lays down slowly with Mae kind of laying on him. Puder wins and gets a lap dance from Mae. In case you didn’t get the joke clearly enough earlier. This took over fifteen minutes for the same Mae Young joke over and over and over.

Chavo Guerrero yells at his old friend when Rey Mysterio comes in. It’s nothing to worry about.

Spike Dudley/Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Kidman offers an early distraction so Spike can jump Chavo to start. That doesn’t go well for Spike as it’s already off to Rey for the quick legdrop. Spike sends him into the corner though and it’s off to Kidman for the first time. The top rope hurricanrana takes Kidman down and Chavo comes in for the long awaited revenge.

Spike cuts him off though and the heels take over on Chavo this time. A whip into the barricade sets up a chinlock with a knee in Chavo’s back as the pace slows. Back up and Kidman clotheslines Spike by mistake, allowing Chavo to suplex Kidman onto him. The hot tag brings in Rey and it’s a springboard seated senton to Chavo. The basement dropkick hits Spike as everything breaks down. Chavo dives onto Kidman and it’s the springboard splash to give Rey the pin on Spike.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill match here as it’s all but guaranteed that Mysterio isn’t winning the title on Sunday. Spike isn’t exactly inspiring as champion but it’s not like there are any other fresh options at the moment. We’ve seen Rey and Chavo with the title so many times now and it’s becoming more and more clear that this division doesn’t offer much at all.

Orlando Jordan comes up to Josh Matthews to offer an apology. Josh looks scared as Jordan talks about not taking him seriously, even though Josh was a Tough Enough finalist. Jordan has to make him shake his hand and slaps Josh for the lack of respect. My goodness we’re still going with this?

Post break Booker T. brings the bloody Josh to Theodore Long’s office where Josh says he wants Jordan tonight. Oh and he wants Booker in his corner too. The match is made.

Team Guerrero is ready for their matches tonight, even though Eddie doesn’t have a fourth member yet. Eddie looks a little nervous but he’s fine in Texas.

Raw Rebound.

Orlando Jordan vs. Josh Matthews

Cole: “I can’t believe this is happening.” Preach it brother. Jordan is as cocky as he should be and puts an attacking Josh on top without much effort. A high crossbody is blocked as well so Josh scores with a dropkick to the back for some more luck. Some rollups get two each and it’s time to head outside for the four way staredown.

Back in and JBL trips Josh as the referee yells at Booker, sending Cole completely over the edge. The chinlock doesn’t last long but we stop so Booker can superkick JBL. Now the high crossbody gives Josh two as JBL gets up on the apron. That’s enough of a distraction so Josh can hit Jordan low, setting up Booker’s ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D-. What is this supposed to accomplish? Booker is costing JBL’s loser lackey matches to a commentator. How does that make me want to see the title match any more? The match was terrible because Jordan is awful and Josh isn’t a wrestler. What were they expecting from this one? At least it wasn’t all that long.

Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rob Van Dam

Hold on though as here are Carlito and Jesus to do commentary. Jindrak kicks Van Dam in the corner to start and the split legged moonsault misses. It’s off to Reigns for stomps in the same corner and this one goes a little better for Rob, with a few kicks putting Reigns down for a change. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo to take over but a Jindrak distraction breaks up the Three Amigos.

Back from a break so abrupt that Cole can’t finish his “this match will continue” with Carlito having spat apple on him. Eddie fights out of a chinlock and nails a flapjack but stops to yell at Carlito. Reigns uses the distraction to jump Van Dam and the villains take over again. The chinlock goes on before Jindrak and Reigns take turns stomping.

Rob slips out of a powerslam and brings in Eddie for the headscissors to Jindrak. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits Three Amigos on Reigns as Rolling Thunder hits Jindrak. Carlito gets dropkicked off the apron but Rob misses a dive. With the referee distracted, Eddie hits the apron with a chair and throws it to Jesus so Carlito and Jesus are gone. Back in and stereo frog splashes give Eddie and Rob the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and played up the idea that Team Eddie is in a bit of trouble due to being down a member. Then again, is it really any secret about who the last member is going to be? And are Jindrak and Reigns combined equal to any member of Team Eddie? This is a pretty one sided match on paper and watching Eddie and Rob vs. two goons wasn’t the most inspiring build.

Post match Eddie announces the pretty obvious: John Cena is the fourth member of the team.

Post break Carlito yells at Long about what happened but Theodore doesn’t want to hear it because Jesus was in the same club that night. Cena is going to be in the ring at Survivor Series and Carlito has to get over it.

Recap of the Tough Enough shenanigans earlier tonight.

How to vote for the Tough Enough guys.

JBL rants about getting out of Texas because he wanted a better life. The only reason Booker T. was the WCW World Champion was because JBL wasn’t in WCW. JBL isn’t losing and if by some miracle he does, he’s out of WWE. He lists off everything that he’s gone through as champion and isn’t losing on Sunday. Instead, he’ll be putting Booker through more than Booker ever thought possible because that’s what JBL does. Having JBL do the big promo for the title match probably isn’t the right idea.

We look back at Heidenreich attacking Jackie Gayda and Charlie Haas last week.

Survivor Series rundown.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Team Angle is out with Kurt, who says that Team Eddie has no chance because no one ca beat him. Team Eddie comes out to even things up and we take a break. Back with Angle not wanting to get in the ring until Jindrak offers a distraction. The cheap shot from behind doesn’t work so Show blasts Angle in the chest with the chops.

Another distraction also fails, with Angle going back first into the post. Back in and Angle gets in a shot to the knee to set up a choke but everyone gets in a brawl on the floor. Team Angle gets the better of it as the ankle lock goes on. Show breaks it up and grabs the chokeslam, drawing in Jindrak and Reigns for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, though it was nice of them to not wait around very long before the big brawl between everyone on the floor. You know that’s where they’re going so why bother with anything more than they had to? Show vs. Angle is fine enough for something like this and Show continues to look good since his return.

Post match Angle goes for the ankle again and might have broken it to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t know if it’s the lack of Maven or the lack of a not very interesting stipulation, but the Smackdown Survivor Series match is a lot more interesting than the Raw version. Yeah it’s pretty one sided on paper, but at least they’re having a more interesting build.

The rest of the show wasn’t all that great and the JBL vs. Booker feud is more about Josh Matthews and Orlando Jordan than the World Title, but I want to see this half of Sunday’s show a lot more than the Raw half. Probably because what is being built up here is actually being blown off on Sunday instead of over the next month. Not a good show, but I want to see part of Survivor Series more than I did before, so points for that at least.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

https://www.facebook.com/AB-Morales-A-Blog-About-Wrestling-Anime-Games-1391471394284210/

This is a page run by AB Morales, who you should know from 787 Talk.  He’s smart on just about everything, including wrestling of course.  Check him out and follow him because he’s rather worth a read.

I was going to post this elsewhere but I never got around to it so here it is.

Earlier this week, WWE announced that the main event of WrestleMania 35 will feature a women’s match for the first time in history as Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey will defend the title against Charlotte and Becky Lynch. This alone is worthy of a headline story, but it made me think about the other end of the show.

In a documentary on WrestleMania 32, Kevin Owens said that if you can’t be last, you want to be first. The opening match of WrestleMania is a very important part of the card as it sets the table for the rest of the evening and often can be a memorable match in its own right. Today I’m going to look at the thirty four opening matches in WrestleMania history and see which worked and which didn’t, along with seeing which was the best at its job (hint: it might not be what you think). Also note I’m only talking about the show’s official opener and not dark matches or Kickoff Show matches.

Wrestlemania I: Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

We’re starting off big here as it’s the first match in WrestleMania history, which certainly has a lot of weight in its own right. It’s also a weird one to start with as WrestleMania is far from what the show would become. Really, it’s a souped up house show from its era so a match like this isn’t all that surprising to have. Santana wins in a short match over the masked Buddy Rode with the Figure Four, but Santana is so popular that it gets the fans even more hyped up. Absolutely nothing special to it, but it did its job well.

WrestleMania II: Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We’ll continue the odd choices to start as this is fallout from a few stories, including Orndorff vs. Mr. Fuji, who was managing Muraco. The match is a nice brawl, though a little harder to watch with Orndorff’s full on racist gestured at Fuji. It even ends in a double countout, making it more of a “come back next time” match than anything definite. It’s not even all that good, making this a weird opener for a decisively weird WrestleMania.

WrestleMania III: Can Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton Jr.

I’ve long since called this perhaps the perfect WrestleMania opener, which may sound crazy. Here’s where we get back to doing the right job though. This match, which would be a dark match today at best, is a fun little five minute match that gets the crowd going but doesn’t take anything away from the rest of the show. That’s where a lot of openers lose me: if it’s the best match of the card, it’s all downhill from there. There are certainly better matches, but this was a great choice to open the show and it still works perfectly well today. I’m not sure if it’s going to hold up, but it’s the right match in the right place with the good guys winning.

WrestleMania IV: Battle Royal

We’ll get out of these weird matches eventually. WrestleMania IV was built entirely around the tournament to crown a new WWF Champion so a lot of people, including these twenty, were left out in the cold. Therefore, in what would later become a tradition, a bunch of people were thrown into a battle royal, with newcomer Bad News Brown eliminating Bret Hart to win. The post match brawl was supposed to set up Hart’s face run but it was still a few years off.

WrestleMania V: Hercules vs. King Haku

Then there’s this one, which is the definition of a nothing match with no specific feud or story coming in and Haku’s King’s Crown not on the line so he could take the loss here. Neither guy was really doing anything at the moment but they were thrown in this match for the sake of having a match. Then again, that was the case for almost the entire card out of a handful of matches, so this is one of the weaker entries on the list.

WrestleMania VI: Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

This is in the same vein of the previous match with no particular reason for the match to be taking place other than they need something to start the show. It is however a rare heel victory with Martel making Ware give up. There’s nothing to say about this one and, much like the previous year’s match, there’s no particular reason for most of the card outside of one match so it’s not that surprising.

WrestleMania VII: Rockers vs. Barbarian/Haku

We’ve moved into a new era of the show and the company as a whole with the match changing up a little bit. This one was more like the WrestleMania III edition with a fast paced match between a good and evil team with the villains going down. The major change of pace here though is both teams are quite a bit better, making for a better match up and down. The Rockers were awesome at this point and getting even better, which you’ll get used to soon enough.

WrestleMania VIII: Shawn Michaels vs. El Matador Tito Santana

Expect to get used to Michaels for a bit here as the WWF realized that he was one of the best things around and one of the best table setters that they had to offer. Then you put him in there with one of the best workers in the company with Santana (who was a bullfighter for some reason) and how could this not be at least good? Again no story, but Michaels’ heel push was just getting started and he needed a win like this.

WrestleMania IX: Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels(c) vs. Tatanka

How did we go eight years without a title defense to open the show? Michaels opens the show for the third year in a row and this time he’s against the undefeated Tatanka, though this match was more about the managers. Michaels had Luna Vachon (for some reason) and Tatanka had Michaels’ old manager Sherri Martel, which would have seemed to be a better match. Tatanka won by countout to continue his undefeated streak but not win the title, which is one of your first storyline advancing openers. A long, but rather good match as Michaels continues to be the best way to get things started.

WrestleMania X: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Ok we might have a winner here. This was all about the backstory as Owen had claimed to be stuck in Bret’s shadow and wanting to prove that he could defeat his brother. He would go on to do just that in an instant classic if not a masterpiece, pinning Bret completely clean. This was made even more interesting as Bret won the WWF Title later that night, setting Owen up as the obvious #1 contender, giving us a series of great matches throughout the summer. This is a hard one to top and it may never actually be topped because it’s that good on all levels.

WrestleMania XI: Blu Brothers vs. Allied Powers

With that classic out of the way, we’re back to another nothing match which was just there because something had to open the show. WrestleMania XI is often viewed as the low point of the series and while the opener isn’t the worst, it’s certainly nothing worth remembering. Of course the good guys won, but did anyone really care that they did? Just a nothing match that was merely there to fill in part of the card, which I thought we had passed up.

WrestleMania XII: Camp Cornette vs. Ahmed Johnson/Vader/Jake Roberts

There was a lot of work that needed to be done to get the company out of the funk it went into around this time and it wasn’t close to being done yet. This was a step up from what we had seen the previous year as there was an actual point to it and the fans wanted to see Cornette get what was coming to him but had to wait until later as his guys survive again. It’s not a great match by any stretch and, like previous entries, this show was all about one match.

WrestleMania XIII: New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. Godwinns

Oh my tag team wrestling was a rough sit in the 1990s. This was another really bad stretch for the titles (which tends to be the norm rather than the exception) with four midcard teams fighting for a future shot at the Tag Team Titles. To make things even worse, it’s an elimination match, meaning we had to sit through three falls. As the best team, the Headbangers won as they should have, but egads it was a rough sit. Things would get better for the division, but it was going to take a lot of time.

WrestleMania XIV: Tag Team Battle Royal

See what I mean about it needing to get better? This was another #1 contenders match, though the big story here was the return of the Legion of Doom as LOD 2000 with Sunny as their new manager. The team didn’t do anything long term, but seeing them come back here was a cool moment that helped give the division a jolt by winning while we waited on the good teams to come around.

WrestleMania XV: Hardcore Title: Billy Gunn(c) vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Al Snow

And now we get to the really bad ideas with Gunn, who had nothing to do with the hardcore division, winning the title to defend here, while his partner and hardcore specialist the Road Dogg won the Intercontinental Title and defended it against the people Gunn had been feuding against. Now some of you might find this dumb, but that’s the beauty of booking for the sake of a SWERVE: it doesn’t have to make sense because it’s a SWERVE! Thankfully Holly won the title back to end the failed experiment, which was never spoken of again.

WrestleMania XVI: D’Lo Brown/Godfather vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan

Things didn’t get much better in the next year as we had this match for the sake of Ice-T playing Godfather and Brown to the ring. That’s all well and good…but then they lost. You know, because the way to get the crowd going for the night is to have the popular and fun team lose a meaningless match to a team that would do a grand total of nothing going forward. All the sense in the world.

WrestleMania XVII: Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho(c) vs. William Regal

Now THIS is more like it. This was a feud built around Jericho finding Regal boring, so he, ahem, relieved himself in Regal’s teapot and then dressed up as Doink for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Regal, the Commissioner at the time, tortured Jericho by having him wrestle a bunch of handicap matches, setting himself up as the #1 contender for the title. They then went out and beat the fire out of each other with Jericho winning (as he should have) to get the show off to a good start.

WrestleMania XVIII: Intercontinental Title: William Regal(c) vs. Rob Van Dam

I mean it worked well enough last year. This one didn’t have the build of Regal vs. Jericho but it was a nice title change to open the show in front of a huge crowd and that’s all it needed to be. Sometimes a title change for the sake of a title change is acceptable and that was the case here with the popular Van Dam winning the title and shutting up the annoying Regal.

WrestleMania XIX: Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy(c) vs. Rey Mysterio

I don’t think there’s much arguing against the idea that Mysterio is the greatest cruiserweight of all time (save for maybe Jushin Thunder Liger). Having him in the division made perfect sense, though having him lose here was a little confusing. Hardy as the oversized cruiserweight was funny, but there came a point to have him lose the title. That point was here to Mysterio, not two months later to Mysterio.

WrestleMania XX: United States Title: Big Show(c) vs. John Cena

Now we get into the historic stuff on two fronts. First of all, Big Show’s title reign is historically bad with less than five title defenses in a five month reign. That’s not what matters of course though, as this was the night Cena won his first of many (and I do mean many) titles in the company with the fans being more than ready to cheer the heck out of him. That’s what WWE gave them and it worked like a charm. Not a great match, but the exact right booking.

WrestleMania XXI: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

This is the more storyline driven match as Guerrero and Mysterio were SmackDown Tag Team Champions but had a match against each other for the sake of competition. The idea here was that Guerrero couldn’t beat Mysterio and the frustration set in. I would go into a deeper look at the story…but it’s Mysterio vs. Guerrero at WrestleMania. Do I need to explain this one further?

WrestleMania XXII: Raw Tag Team Titles: Kane/Big Show(c) vs. Chris Masters/Carlito

We’re going back a few years here with a title match for the sake of having a title match, though in this case the titles didn’t change hands. Kane and Big Show were the monster team (well duh) and Carlito and Masters were their meal for the day. The titles would change hands the next night, but you don’t want to start a show like this with the monsters losing to some cheating heels.

WrestleMania XXIII: Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Edge vs. Finlay vs. Jeff Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

It’s Money in the Bank time and this is a good example of a match that shouldn’t have opened the show. Money in the Bank is one of the biggest matches that is going to be taking place on the card and anything that comes after it is going to feel like a downgrade. They were smart to have the popular Kennedy win here, but this was the wrong place on the card for the match and there was no way to get back to this level for a few matches.

WrestleMania XXIV: Finlay vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting one as I’ve always liked it and it certainly gets a lot of praise. That being said, it’s not hard to see why. It’s a Belfast Brawl (street fight) and there’s something so safe yet efficient about it. The match isn’t great and it’s been done a lot better before, but they do things at a very nice and steady pace, making the match do exactly what it’s supposed to. It’s nothing great or even very good, but it works rather well and I can see why it’s so well liked, even though the rather evil JBL won.

WrestleMania XXV: CM Punk vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Christian vs. Kane vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Mark Henry vs. Shelton Benjamin

Money in the Bank again and, just like last time, I’m not sure on the line of thinking here. Do you really want to go with something that can pick the crowd up later this early on? There are other things to use instead of this match for the opener, and having the Kid Rock concert after it didn’t help things. This is one of the many reasons that WrestleMania XXV isn’t well remembered and it was downhill from here (save for that all time classic later on). Yeah Punk winning helped, but it wasn’t enough to fix the show’s problems.

WrestleMania XXVI: SmackDown Tag Team Titles: Big Show/The Miz(c) vs. John Morrison/R-Truth

I’m not sure what to make of this one as the match doesn’t even last long enough to think much of it. The match doesn’t even last three and a half minutes and seems like it was thrown onto the card for the sake of getting the four people onto the show. It’s something that could have been taken off the show for the sake off freeing up some space, but I guess it’s good enough for an opener, even though it’s not even worth the time it got. The champs retained, but it’s hard to even remember.

WrestleMania XXVII: SmackDown World Title: Edge(c) vs. Alberto Del Rio

Now this one has always been confusing to me as it just doesn’t feel like a match that should be opening WrestleMania. This feels like a match that should have been one of the last three or four matches on the card but, possibly due to Edge’s legitimate neck injury that would force him to retire shortly thereafter, it opened the show instead. That being said, it’s really not very good in the first place so it’s certainly on the low end of the list and made even worse by Edge’s surprising win. If he knew he was done, why wasn’t he dropping the title here?

WrestleMania XXVIII: SmackDown World Title: Daniel Bryan(c) vs. Sheamus

What in the world can I say here? The match is literally the bell, a Brogue kick and a pin to make Sheamus the champion in eighteen seconds. That’s hardly enough to go anywhere and while it did wind up helping move Bryan up the card (eventually), it felt like a pounding the desk moment and that’s not the best way to start WrestleMania.

WrestleMania XXIX: Shield vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show

Ah the Shield. This is the kind of act that the company could ride for years and as it turns out, that’s exactly what they did. The team was still on their undefeated streak here as we looked for someone to defeat them. Orton and company were another all-star team who couldn’t get it done, but the WrestleMania debut was more than enough for the Shield, which was the entire point because they looked like stars.

WrestleMania XXX: Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H

This might be the most impressive opening match in the show’s history, as you have to remember what came before. WrestleMania XXX opened with Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and the Rock in the ring at the same time. What in the world is supposed to follow something like that? Bryan and Triple H managed to get the fans into the palm of their hands and it was incredible with Bryan winning to advance to the triple threat title match later in the night. Great match, great story, and a better accomplishment.

WrestleMania XXXI: Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett(c) vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth

We get back to the Money in the Bank formula of starting with the huge mess of a match, possibly to avoid the issues of having to set up the ladders during the show. This was a huge mess of a match with a bunch of insane spots until Bryan, fresh off his return from injury, won the title for the feel good moment to open the show.

WrestleMania XXXII: Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens(c) vs. Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz vs. Sami Zayn vs. Sin Cara vs. Stardust

Remember what I said about all the previous year’s match? It’s the same thing here but with Ryder’s feel good moment instead of Bryan’s. This was another big mess of a match that should have had half the people in it (cut one of the wrestlers in half or something) for the sake of building something up but remember that EVERYONE HAS TO BE ON WRESTLEMANIA so it was the only way.

WrestleMania XXXIII: Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

So yeah, McMahon returned the previous year and helped move a lot of sales for WrestleMania XXXII so it was decided that he needed to be around every year to help boost the audience. The problem is that he had to wrestle a match here, and that became a problem. The match was good, but it felt like everything was catering to McMahon, which dragged things down a lot. It was better than expected, though that’s not exactly a high bar to clear.

WrestleMania XXXIV: Intercontinental Title: The Miz(c) vs. Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

We’ll wrap it up here with another match that was there to open the show hot and little more. Rollins and Balor had both beaten Miz leading up to this and the question now was who would take the title from him. That would be Rollins, and that’s certainly one way to go. Rollins was back to full strength after his knee injury and it was great to see the old version back again.

So those are all of the WrestleMania openers and like I said: it depends on what you’re looking for. If you want a great match, it’s Hart vs. Hart or Triple H vs. Bryan. If you want a spectacle, pick a ladder match. For something that just gets the show going, there are more choices than worth naming. The best overall though….yeah it’s hard to argue Hart vs. Hart. With the wrestling and the storytelling combined, it’s impossible to beat and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

There are so many WrestleMania openers over the years (about thirty four of them) and they all offer a little something. Some of them might not be as good as others, but they all have one thing in common: they have to get things ready for the rest of the evening and that’s one of the most important things all night long. If the fans aren’t interested, it’s going to be a rough night, but if you can start them off hot, it’s WrestleMania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: St. Clair’s College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

So in the middle of all the insanity that is Wrestlemania weekend, we have this show in pursuit of anyone remembering that it’s actually taking place. That’s kind of a shame actually as things are pretty decent at the moment with Johnny Impact’s overdue heel turn already paying dividends. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap serves its lone function.

Opening sequence.

Petey Williams vs. Trey Miguel vs. Idris Abraham vs. Jake Crist vs. Aiden Prince vs. Ace Austin

Great. Williams is back. One fall to a finish so everything is insane to start with Austin being the last man standing, earning him a quadruple superkick until it’s Austin vs. Abraham alone in the ring. Williams replaces Abraham in a hurry with Petey grabbing a German suplex for two. Now it’s Prince taking Williams’ place and suplexing Austin for two. Abraham and his huge afro are back in with Trey spinning away from him. Crist is back in with a Death Valley Driver but Abraham drops him with a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Not to be outdone, Austin drops a frog splash for two on Abraham and drops Miguel with a swinging neckbreaker. Williams’ swinging Russian legsweep gets two on Miguel and the Sharpshooter goes on. That’s broken up so it’s O Canada to Crist in the corner. Austin puts Prince over Crist in the corner and it’s the Tower of Doom to bring everyone down. The Canadian Destroyer gives Petey two on Austin and it’s Prince flip diving onto Austin and Abraham on the floor. Back in and Williams hits a super Canadian Destroyer to finish Crist at 8:35.

Rating: C+. So you know every match with all of these people thrown into a match with everyone hitting their spots and moving on? This was the most recent one of them that I’ve seen. There’s nothing to separate them from the rest of their kind and Petey Williams is far from inspiring.

LAX and Konnan want to use Full Metal Mayhem to earn respect from the Lucha Bros.

Taya Valkyrie doesn’t care that she lost to Jordynne Grace last week. Madison Rayne comes in and says she wants a title match. Jordynne comes in and wants her rematch for the title but Taya makes a #1 contenders match for later tonight for the Rebellion title match.

Announcers’ preview.

OVE vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack

Sami Callihan/Madman Fulton for OVE. Swann, now clean shaven, goes straight after Callihan to start and flips over him into the dropkick. Mack comes in, shrugs off a cheap shot from Fulton, and hits a 619 to Callihan’s ribs. Fulton’s second interference works a bit better and it’s Sami scoring with a clothesline to send us to a break. Back with Fulton suplex slamming Swann for two but Mack comes right back with a spinebuster.

A standing moonsault gets two but Fulton breaks up the hot tag attempt. The neck crank goes on for a bit until the break allows the hot tag off to Swann. Everything breaks down and Fulton is hurricanranaed to the floor, leaving Callihan to take a Lethal Injection. The Phoenix Splash misses and everyone but Mack heads outside, meaning it’s a big flip dive onto all three. Back in and Mack breaks up a Cactus Piledriver but gets slammed down by Fulton. The Cactus Piledriver finishes Swann at 14:01.

Rating: C+. This was mainly about making Fulton look like a monster and….they only kind of did that. Granted when you’re as big as Fulton, the monster thing is already included so it’s not the biggest deal in the world. This story has been going on for a long time now and I’d assume that Callihan gets the title soon. Like at Rebellion maybe.

Post match the beatdown is on until Tommy Dreamer makes the save with a chair.

Johnny Impact gets annoyed at being asked questions about Brian Cage and threatens to John Stossel Menendez. Killer Kross comes up and puts his arm around Menendez, saying he should get a title shot someday. Johnny looks worried.

Moose invades the Rascalz’ room and brings a female friend, with an invitation to bring a bunch of animals in as well.

GWN Classic Moment of the Week: Full Metal Mayhem at Bound For Glory 2011.

Rosemary goes to Allie’s grave and rants about Kiera Hogan and James Mitchell, plus her father Kevin Sullivan, all of whom are to blame. Then she disappears.

Jordynne Grace vs. Madison Rayne

The winner gets the Knockouts Title shot t at Rebellion. Grace throws her down with ease to start and then does it again even harder. Rayne’s middle rope crossbody bounces off of her so a rollup works a little better. An enziguri gives Rayne two but Grace Pounces her right back down.

Some knees to the back set up a not quite giant swing as Rayne’s back is in trouble. A backbreaker into a side slam keep Rayne down but the Vader Bomb misses. Rayne gets two off a high crossbody and she gets in a rear naked choke. That’s broken up as well and a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb gives Grace two. Grace has had it and the Grace Driver finishes Rayne at 8:48.

Rating: C. This is why Rayne was brought back in. She’s not the best in the world, but you’re going to get a good match from her and everything she does looks fine. Couple that with a resume and a pretty good promo and it’s easy to see the value in her. Put her in there with the newer talent and see what she can do for them.

Post match here’s Taya for a fight with Grace but Johnny comes out for a distract so Taya can beat her down. Johnny goes up for the Countdown To Impact but Cage makes the save.

Josh Alexander is coming and is presented like a psychopathic killer in amateur wrestling gear.

Josh recruits Ethan Page as his partner.

Rohit Raju vs. Fallah Bahh

Raju has both Singhs with him but there’s no KM. Bahh jumps over an early legsweep attempt and hits the spinning belly to belly. The charge hits post but Bahh is fine with a Samoan drop. There’s a running crossbody to set up the Banzai Drop but Singh knocks Bahh down, giving Raju the pin with feet on the ropes at 2:59.

Post match here’s Scarlett Bordeaux to slap Raju and it’s a double splash in the corner. Scarlett’s running hip attack (after pulling the dress up) lets her celebrate with Bahh.

The Deaners, a couple of rednecks, get Impact contracts.

Swann vs. Callihan for the X-Division Title is set for Rebellion.

Video on Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame career and the current feud with Tessa Blanchard.

Tessa Blanchard says Gail was great in the era of bra and panties match. Now people like Gail and Madison are trying to relive their glory days. This is Tessa’s era and in this era, Gail isn’t a legend.

Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards vs. LAX

Before the match, Konnan gets in an argument with Drake and punches him, meaning it’s an early ejection. The fight is on and we do that really annoying thing of taking a break less than twenty seconds in. Back with Santana punching Eddie until a blind tag lets Drake come in and take over. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Ortiz and it’s back to Eddie for a headbutt, which might hurt him more given the thickness of that hair. Drake gets two off a neckbreaker but Ortiz is right back with a middle rope dropkick for a breather.

It’s back to Santana to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. A tiger driver gives Eddie two on Santana with Ortiz making the save. That means a rolling cutter into a Codebreaker into a superkick into the double belly to back faceplant for two on Eddie with Drake making the save. The Street Sweeper is loaded up but here are the Lucha Bros for a distraction. That’s enough for Drake to get in a shot with Kenny, setting up the Boston Knee Party to finish Ortiz at 10:55.

Post match the Lucha Bros runs in and beat down LAX, with Santana being powerbombed through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Nothing was bad on here, though nothing was must see either. That’s not a bad place to be for a show like this with very little importance. Rebellion is looking like any Impact pay per view: a solid card up and down but nothing that I’m overly excited to see. I’ll take a good but not great card over nothing shows though so they’ve moved to a nice new reality.

Results

Petey Williams b. Trey Miguel, Idris Abraham, Jake Crist, Aiden Prince and Ace Austin – Super Canadian Destroyer to Crist

OVE b. Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Piledriver to Swann

Jordynne Grace b. Madison Rayne – Grace Driver

Fallah Bahh b. Rohit Raju – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake b. LAX – Boston Knee Party to Ortiz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Game Changer Wrestling

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3 Part 1
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentators: Denver Colorado, Dave Prazak, Kevin Gill

We open with a kid in a living room shouting something that I can’t understand at a camera. This isn’t going to go well is it?

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show.

Joey Janela vs. Marko Stunt

This is Joey’s first match since he destroyed his knee in September and Stunt’s first since November when I believe he broke his leg. Stunt gets a special entrance video where someone calls him, saying Joey wants him on the show. Janela also has Penelope Ford with him and that’s always a good thing. Stunt has a rather awesome entrance to Pat Benetar’s We Belong and you can see how happy he is to be back.

They shake hands and we’re ready to go with the crowd near molten. Joey takes him down and runs the ropes, even as Marko steps to the side and watches him. Marko kicks him in the knee, becoming the closest thing to a heel as you can get around here. Joey hits a running kick of his own and flips Stunt off but it’s his show so it’s more ok. Back up and Marko’s crucifix is reversed into a German suplex and Stunt lays on the back of his head for a bit, looking rather dead.

The fans request and receive even more German suplexes for two, setting up Janela throwing him over the top and into the crowd. Janela thinks the crowd surfing looks fun so he goes out as well for a chop off, all while the fans are holding them up. They head back to the ring with Stunt hitting a running flip dive off the apron. Another suicide dive takes Stunt out again but he’s fine enough to miss a running knee back inside.

Rating: C+. This is a show where the crowd is going to carry the matches WAY further than they deserve on their own merits and that was the case here. This was all about the dives and seeing Stunt take the big bumps and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s reminiscent of ECW in a way: these guys might not be making it to the top level anytime soon, but they’re stars here and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post match Joey raises Stunt’s hand and Penelope hugs him. She’s rather forgiving.

The ring announcer points out the bars around the arena in information the people there already know.

Here’s Tony Deppen for a chat. I don’t know Deppen but he comes out to We Built This City, which was in the Muppets so I like him already. Deppen yells about being eliminated from the Cluster**** (big battle royal last year) by Mantaur in five seconds. He offers an open challenge to any fan and yells a lot of rather inappropriate things. He goes into the crowd and gets in an argument with a fan….who he kicks in the head. Deppen pulls him into the ring and the bell rings.

Tony Deppen vs. Fan

Deppen takes him into the ring and mocks him a bit before trying a suplex, which is reversed into a sleeper. The fans get behind the Fan, even as he gets driven into the corner a few times for the break. An armdrag sends Deppen down again and the Fan manages a 619. A springboard crossbody gets two and the stunned Deppen is sent outside, with the Fan hitting a flip dive off the top. This is quite the talented Fan.

Back in and the Fan takes a little too much time as Deppen gets in a superplex for two. He didn’t hook a leg so it’s really his fault. The Fan manages a right hand and a tornado DDT into a slingshot 450 for a crazy close two. A splash off the top misses though and Deppen hits a running kick to the head for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: A+. That’s one of the most impressive things I’ve ever seen. I know the fans are extra hot for this show but they didn’t need to carry something like this one very far. The Fan (he needs a name and after looking as good as he did out there he’ll have one soon) was awesome for someone pulled out of a chair. This is definitely worth seeing if you get the chance.

Oh and something I forgot to mention: the Fan doesn’t have legs. Read it back with that in mind.

The Fan gets a mega ovation, as I’d certainly think he’s earned.

Jungle Boy vs. A-Kid vs. Australian Suicide vs. Jake Atlas vs. Shane Mercer vs. Slim J

I know most of these guys. Jungle Boy is an AEW guy. Mercer, the biggest guy in the match, gets quintuple superkicked three times to start but he’s still on his feet on the floor. After a series of dives, Atlas walks on his hands to headscissor A-Kid and a running superkick doesn’t slow him down that much. Suicide comes back in as we seem to be firmly in the “you do something and then I’ll do something” formula.

A headscissors puts Atlas on the floor and it’s Slim J coming back in as we get Bill Behrens references. As you can guess, it’s Suicide being sent outside and Jungle Boy comes in for a middle rope legdrop. Mercer gets in and hits a one armed press slam (of course), managing to knock the other people down while still holding Jungle Boy above his head. More superkicks put him down again and it’s Atlas and Kid hitting moonsault to the floor.

The two of them get back inside and double team Suicide, who comes off the top with a corkscrew press. Slim J’s high crossbody gets two on Suicide with Jungle Boy making the save. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker onto Mercer’s knee puts J down but Jungle Boy hits an enziguri to drop Mercer as well. Jungle Boy takes Atlas up top but it’s something like a super swinging Angle Slam for no cover.

A-Kid suplexes Atlas and gets two off a standing moonsault but Mercer is back in with one of the biggest overhead belly to belly suplexes I’ve ever seen. Just because we haven’t seen enough crazy stuff yet, Mercer puts Slim J in a fireman’s carry and WALKS THE TOP ROPE WITH HIM (ok so he was holding Atlas’ hand) for a super AA. Suicide makes a very late save with a shooting star and the fans are very pleased again.

Kid is the first one up with a 619 to Atlas but a high crossbody to Mercer is countered into a super moonsault World’s Strongest Slam. Atlas knees Suicide in the face and hits a top rope cartwheel DDT (seriously) to take him down. Kid goes after Jungle Boy and gets on his back, but Jungle Boy moves to the side and hooks a full nelson with Kid still on his back (think a Backpack Stunner but with them twisted around) for the tap at 10:05.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah I’m seeing why this show gets these kind of reviews. This was one of the craziest spotfests I’ve ever seen and I couldn’t believe some of the things I was seeing. It also helps that most of these guys aren’t very well known so they were able to surprise me with a lot of the spots. It was a blast and the kind of match that makes indy wrestling so much fun over this weekend.

GCW World Title: Nick Gage vs. Shinjiro Otani

Gage is defending and that means it’s time for the fans to treat him like some kind of greatest thing ever. The announcers ensure us that this will NOT just be a freak show and I can’t say I’m convinced. They make it clear that Gage is multi talented as Otani takes him down without much effort. A rope break gets Gage out of a wristlock with the fans sound like they want to kill Otani for hurting their hero. That’s enough wrestling for Gage (less than three minutes) so let’s get a table.

Otani will have none of that and chops Gage down into a half crab. Another rope break saves Gage and the fans again insist that he break it up. An atomic drop and running elbow into the corner have Otani in trouble and Gage hits a Broski Boot. That’s an Otani signature so he suplexes Gage through a table to even things up. Otani shows him how to do the Facewash and some Broski Boots with the kicks knocking Gage’s second down each time. Back up and Gage gets two off a DDT but Otani is right back with a kick to the head and a legsweep for two of his own. Gage grabs a rollup to steal the pin out of nowhere at 9:45.

Rating: D. This was Otani doing a lot of his signature stuff while Gage showed that he can’t do much outside of death match wrestling. I’m not a fan of the guy or his style and while I get that he’s an Otani fan (fair enough), this completely stopped the flow of a very entertaining show so far. The fans there dig him and good for them, but Gage is not my thing.

Post match Gage continues to swear a lot and talks about being a huge Otani fan growing up.

Invisible Man vs. Invisible Stan

It’s EXACTLY what it’s billed as and yes there is a backstory as they’re brothers. Stan is a mega heel and Man is a huge face. Bryce Remsburg (like ANYONE else could be the referee) checks Stan for weapons as the graphics call both guys Invisible Man. Actually hang on a second as Bryce throws on his Janela glasses, apparently allowing him to see both guys. Then how did he check Stan?

There’s a door in the corner as Bryce gets a clean break and it’s a pinfall exchange sequence into a standoff as the fans aren’t sure what to chant. They slug it out with the fans going right along with the BOO/YAY chants and Remsburg being more into it than anything else. A rake to the eyes has Man in trouble and they both demand chairs.

Both guys sit in the middle and slug it out from the chairs (I can’t believe this is somehow working) but hang on because Remsburg has to put on the gloves to check on Man’s cut. He goes to throw up the X but Man shoves him over….and they go to the floor. The camera loses them (How?) and they get all the way onto the balcony for the New Jack dive, with the referees below (in the crowd for some reason) going down in a heap.

They get back in with Stan only getting two and getting in a fight with Remsburg. That means a shot to Remsburg’s head, drawing in Kikutaro to take his place (and glasses of course). Kikutaro pelts a chair at Stan and gives him a DDT with Man getting a VERY delayed two. Remsburg orders Kikutaro out and it’s….I’m not sure how to describe it to give Stan two (these indy moves are so weird sometimes). A spear through the door (well done on the break) finishes Stan at 7:18.

Rating: C. The action was good enough but that dive out of the balcony felt so tacked on. You shouldn’t need a ref bump and a huge spot like that in a seven minute match. The brawling and slugouts were good as you have to sell the hatred between the two, but at least do something a little more logical.

The fans throw money into the ring, which is well deserved.

…Orange Cassidy vs. Taka Michinoku

It isn’t clear if Cassidy’s Independent Wrestling Title is on the line or not. Taka wants a lockup but that’s harder that it seems as Cassidy doesn’t take his hands out of his pockets. He gets a hand out of each and Cassidy puts them right back in. Both hands are pulled out at the same time but Cassidy puts them right back in at the same time. With nothing else working, Taka puts his hands down his trunks before the shoulder exchange lets Cassidy hit one in slow motion.

Cassidy’s dancing escape gets him out of a waistlock and it’s a dropkick into a nip up, all with the hands still in the pockets. The very light kicks to Taka’s legs make him remove Cassidy’s glasses and the fans know this isn’t going to end well. Now the hands come out of the pockets and Cassidy lightly…..I don’t think I can call those chops. The low superkick to the leg has Cassidy celebrating but Taka pokes him in the eye to take over.

Rating: C-. I think I caused myself to lose some interest in this match as I’ve seen Cassidy a few times now and it’s a lot of the same stuff he’s done in each of his matches this weekend. He’s talented and funny, but it’s not the kind of gimmick that you need to be seeing every single week.

Post match Taka takes the glasses and respect is shared.

Here’s Ethan Page to rant about how Janela doesn’t own him and wants to call the show Ethan Page’s Body Guy Extravaganza. As for tonight though, he has a mystery opponent.

Starman vs. Ethan Page

Starman is a masked guy in a pink bodysuit who sneaks in through the crowd and rolls Page up for the pin at 3 seconds. Apparently that was for Page’s soul?

The mask comes off and it’s….freaking VIRGIL??? Page snaps and says that since he now has to agent the Cluster**** tomorrow, we’ll make it the greatest Cluster**** of all time.

The ring announcer thanks the fans and we pause a bit to set up for the deathmatch main event. Since he can’t do it though, here’s Low Life Louie (from ECW) to announce instead. I mean, he doesn’t actually do the announcing yet though as we get a new mat and a bunch of weapons added in first. This eats up several minutes as the announcers chatter about various deathmatch legends.

Masashi Takeda vs. Jimmy Lloyd

Spider Nate Webb is on commentary and there are light tubes all around the ring. Token wrestling sequence to start, which is rather token with A BUNCH OF LIGHT TUBES on the apron. Lloyd misses an enziguri and they trade exchanges of dropping themselves on tubes. Tubes are broken over each other’s heads, followed by gusset plates (pieces of galvanized metal) to the head. Lloyd is busted and another one plate is used to cut open his arm.

Takeda breaks a tube over the arm for two and another goes across the mouth for a Russian legsweep. Lloyd is gushing and breaks more tubs over Takeda’s head. Tubes are dropped onto Takeda for two and another is superkicked into Takeda’s face for two. Takeda dropkicks some tubes into Lloyd’s face….and it’s time for a board covered in open scissors.

The scissors are put onto Lloyd and a running knee drives them in, with Lloyd having to pull a pair out of his chest. Takeda suplexes him for two but gets Razor’s Edged into a board with something unspecified covering it in the corner. Lloyd gets two off a tiger driver before they both no sell suplexes.

A clothesline gives Lloyd two and someone brings him a weed wacker, which Takeda takes away and uses on the arm. Now it’s a door covered with forks which is then covered with tubes. Lloyd gets German suplexed through them, setting up a knee to drive tubes into the chest for one. More tubes are put on Lloyd’s chest and a Swanton gets two. A reverse inverted DDT onto more tubes finishes Lloyd at 9:23.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling.

Post match Lloyd asks Takeda to break one more tube over his head so Takeda does it to himself to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. While there are some parts that just are not for me, I’ll give this show a ton of credit for one of the most entertaining and energized shows I’ve ever seen. The crowd was on fire all night and I was getting into a lot of these things, mainly due to how much effort they putting into nearly everything. Normally that’s the case with a bunch of matches that aren’t all that great, but a lot of these were very good with some of the better action I’ve seen all night.

At the same time though, there are still a few things going on that I wasn’t wild on. The deathmatch stuff just isn’t my style and that’s never going to change. Other than that there were some matches that weren’t quite as good as the best on the card, but (wrestling wise at least) nothing is all that bad and it’s a show I’ll almost certainly be watching next year. Well done here and I was very nicely surprised.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

NXT UK
Date: April 10, 2019
Location: Coventry Skydome Arena, Coventry, England
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

It’s the final show from the taping cycle and while the United Kingdom Title changed hands about six weeks after this was filmed, I’m sure something will be mentioned in an inserted video. As for tonight though, we have the Women’s Title to worry about as Toni Storm is defending against Jinny. They have quite the rivalry in Progress so this should be good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Storm vs. Jinny. Storm won the title earlier in the year and Jinny is tired of it always being Toni Time. We get some clips of their Progress matches, with Toni saying that Jinny doesn’t like being made to work for something and tonight she has to fight.

Opening sequence.

Travis Banks vs. Kassius Ohno

Feeling out process to start with Ohno taking over off a wristlock but getting reversed into a headlock. Banks tries a shoulder but Ohno doesn’t go very far. He turns his head to look at Banks and says “Oh I didn’t see you! I didn’t feel you either.” Ohno loads up a shoulder of his own but stomps on Banks’ foot instead. Banks goes with the kicks to the chest instead and one to the back puts Ohno on the floor.

The dive is countered though and Ohno kicks him in the face. Banks is fine enough to hit a running kick to the chest from the apron, only to be sent into the steps for his efforts. Back in and a running legdrop gives Ohno two but he misses a backsplash. The kicks to the chest (they like kicking in this one) keep Ohno in trouble until a knee to Banks’ injured shoulder has him writhing on the mat.

Ohno walks around for a bit until they trade more kicks. The pump kick gives Ohno two so it’s time to pull on the arm a little bit. A reversed whip sends Ohno to the apron and a dropkick puts him on the floor. Now the suicide dive connects, allowing Banks to hit a running knee to the face.

Back in and Banks gets caught in an electric chair, which is countered into a victory roll for two. A quick Kiwi Crusher gets two more but Ohno throws him onto his shoulders again for a Rubik’s Cube (One Winged Angel) for two which should have been three. Ohno is so surprised that he gets rolled up twice in a row, followed by a third attempt for the pin at 14:47.

Rating: B. Questionable use of such a major move that didn’t end the match aside, this was a smart way to use Ohno. He’s so much bigger than Banks (or just about anyone else on the roster) and it’s a good idea to have him wrestle this kind of an aggressive style. Banks looks like he can beat a monster, which is a good way to get him back on the right track.

We look back at Piper Niven debuting last week and scaring off Rhea Ripley.

Long video on Pete Dunne vs. Walter.

Jordan Devlin is sick of hearing about Dunne’s rematch because he’d rather hear about his own title shot.

Piper Niven vs. Killer Kelly

Piper stalks her a bit and we get an early handshake. Kelly goes a little more aggressive than I would have expected and tries a cravate, earning herself a slam and backsplash. A regular splash gets two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Kelly slips off Piper’s shoulder and grabs a sleeper, which is reversed with a crash into the corner. A Cannonball into a Michinoku Driver gives Piper the pin at 3:35.

Rating: D+. Not quite a squash but Kelly never felt like any kind of a threat. That’s the right way to present someone like Piper, who shouldn’t be in any kind of trouble until she’s in there with Ripley. Yeah she’s big, but she moves around very well and came off as very athletic, which is a great combination.

Post match Rhea tries to sneak in but gets stared back up the aisle.

Moustache Mountain is ready to come to New York to face Flash Morgan Webster and Mark Andrews.

The Grizzled Young Veterans aren’t happy with having to go to New York because Gibson doesn’t want to miss Liverpool games. There’s going to be a non-title challenge to any team from the NXT UK roster.

Joseph Conners vs. Jack Starz

Starz spins out of a wristlock to start and puts Conners down into a wristlock. Conners’ British Bulldog lift out of a short armscissors is countered into a sunset flip to give Starz two. With early frustration setting in, Conners hits a top rope shoulder and it’s off to a neck crank. Some elbow drops have Starz in more trouble and Conners wants the referee to check on him. The referee thinks Starz is fine so Conners hits a hard clothesline but Starz slips between his legs. A running corner dropkick sets up a high crossbody, which Conners rolls through into Don’t Look Down for the pin at 4:46.

Rating: C-. Remember all the other times I’ve criticized Conners’ matches in the same way? It’s the exact same thing here. Don’t Look Down is a good name for a finisher and it’s not a bad move….but it’s Joseph Conners doing the thing. I’d like to care about him, but he is just so uninteresting and dull that there’s nothing he can do to fix his problems.

Video on Dave Mastiff, who is back soon.

Women’s Title: Toni Storm vs. Jinny

Jinny is challenging. They go right at it to start with Toni getting the better of it and grabbing a half crab. The fans don’t make it any better by calling Jinny a Primark Princess, though Toni switching to an STF might be more painful (emphasis on might). After using the rope for a break, it’s off to a camel clutch to put Toni in trouble for a change. Storm reverses into a surfboard on the mat but Jinny is right back in the ropes for the break.

A Downward Spiral into the middle buckle knocks Toni silly and it’s time to start in on the back. Jinny hits a backbreaker and grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back. Now it’s a regular chinlock as Jinny is looking rather strong so far. Toni fights up with some rolling German suplexes but another shot to the back cuts her off. Jinny’s version of Storm Zero is countered with a headbutt and Jinny is rocked. She’s fine enough to try a hurricanrana, which is reversed into a powerbomb. Storm Zero retains the title at 10:34.

Rating: B-. Jinny was treated as an equal here and a real threat to the title, which is the best thing that can happen to the division at the moment. Storm and Ripley have been on top for so long that they need someone fresh in the ranks. It doesn’t have to be someone to win the title, but there needs to be someone who makes Toni sweat, which is what we had here.

Overall Rating: B+. That’s one of the better shows they’ve had and they’re wisely taking a path that NXT took: what you see right now on this show, no matter what it might be, is the most important thing. They treated the Women’s Title match like a big deal, just as they did Trent Seven vs. Joe Coffey before. It makes everything on the show feel important, which gives you a reason to want to watch. Some things are of course more important than others, but you wouldn’t know that from commentary and that’s the right way to go about things.

Results

Travis Banks b. Kassius Ohno – Rollup

Piper Niven b. Killer Kelly – Michinoku Driver

Joseph Conners b. Jack Starz – Don’t Look Down

Toni Storm b. Jinny – Storm Zero

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 8, 2004
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 4,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means we’ll probably be seeing a bunch of singles matches between the people involved in the Win Eric Bischoff’s Job Match on Sunday. HHH still doesn’t have anyone chasing the title and that’s probably by design. HHH’s design that is. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with HHH in mid-promo in the ring, ranting about how he stayed home last week in an effort to teach people a lesson. All he found out was that there are a bunch of thickheaded people around here because they took the chance to attack Evolution. That attack put Ric Flair on the shelf and angered Batista. You won’t like him when he’s angry. That all happened under Bischoff’s watch, with Bischoff cutting him off and coming to the ring.

Bischoff explains the Survivor Series stipulation again but HHH grabs him by the jacket. That’s not a good idea as if HHH doesn’t let go, he might be losing the title. With his jacket now released, Bischoff explains things again so HHH gets in his face, saying a loss would mean a bunch of title defenses. Bischoff thinks it won’t be a problem so let’s have a match.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress after a break with Batista charging into an elbow but blocking the RKO. That’s enough to send Batista outside so he comes back in with the forearms and kicks in the corner. This time Orton takes him outside and sends Batista into the barricade, followed by his own right hands back inside. A thumb to the eye (shoutout to Naitch) lets Orton shoulder Batista to the floor but he’s right back in with a shoulder of his own.

The chinlock has Orton in trouble as Lawler freaks out over the possible handicaps at Survivor Series. Orton finally fights up and runs Batista over but HHH grabs the foot to block the RKO. That means the big clothesline from Batista but the referee ejects HHH. We take a break and come back with Batista getting two each off a neckbreaker and a suplex.

The chinlock goes on again as Batista doesn’t seem to quite know how to work a match this long yet (fair enough as he mainly does short matches or tags). This one doesn’t last as long though as Orton fights up but gets sent shoulder first into the post with a fall onto the steps making it even worse.

Now it’s a chinlock with a bodyscissors (now that’s better because it’s a somewhat different hold) until Batista fights up and hits a dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor and a DDT on the floor gets two back inside. The annoyed Orton stomps away and Batista is busted open. The RKO is countered into a spinebuster but Batista misses a charge into the corner, letting Orton get the rollup pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and they gave it a lot of time (about twenty minutes with commercials) with Orton winning clean. Batista got in a lot though and a loss to a bigger star like this, especially when he blocked the RKO over and over, isn’t going to hurt him. Orton needed a win to get him back on track too, though I’m not sure where that track can lead at the moment.

Post break Orton gives his team a pep talk but an enraged Batista runs in to go after all four of them. The whole team can barely stop him but Arn Anderson comes in and drives Batista away single handedly because he enforces order these days.

We recap Edge vs. Chris Benoit, with Edge snapping over having to team with him instead of getting the World Title shot. They lost the Tag Team Titles and Edge put a bloodied Benoit in the Crossface in a good segment.

Benoit promises to take care of Edge tonight with violence instead of catchphrases. Why yes, this is completely missing from the Network.

Tyson Tomko vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and Christian is in Tomko’s corner. Tomko jumps him from behind to start but Shelton is right back with a knee to the face for two. A gorilla press into a fall away slam takes Shelton right back down and it’s time for a trip to the floor for a cheap shot from Christian. Back in and Shelton grabs a Russian legsweep but the Dragon Whip is countered into something like a chokeslam for two. The missed Stinger Splash makes it even worse but Shelton slips out of a powerslam, superkicks Christian, and hits the exploder to put Tomko away.

Rating: C. It didn’t have much time but it was similar to the first match: a talented guy against a monster (albeit a much less talented monster) with Shelton having to overcome the odds. Tomko looked downright competent here and it was probably the best match he’s had to date. Take it with the bag of salt required but it’s better than nothing.

Smackdown Rebound.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Trish Stratus and Lita as guests. Since Jericho seems a little intimidated by them, he has a referee here to keep them apart. With the referee holding them back, Trish calls Lita the Walking Kiss of Death and says that since Lita is here now, this show is getting canceled like Dark Angel. Jericho doesn’t like the sound of that but he’ll cancel his solution to Better Sl**s and Gardens because Trish brought the real thing right here. Trish brushes that off and says Lita has been out of action for too long (action in the ring that is).

While she’s been getting fat, Trish has been making history. Lita snaps and talks about wanting to get her hands on Trish for seven months. If she’s the Kiss of Death, Trish can pucker up on Sunday. This brings out Snitsky and he’s he’s got a baby in his arms. The baby is crying and Snitsky offers him to Lita, but pulls it back because he’s going to do whatever he wants to it….like PUNTING IT INTO THE CROWD. Avowed non-baby punter Jericho knocks Snitsky outside but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. A posting leaves Jericho down and Lita is terrified.

Here’s Simon Dean for a new life commercial. Just like last week, he’s bringing in a fan to try the system in person. The fan is picked, but Simon knows she’s not in great health because she’s so fat that she can’t take a shower. She’s so appalled that he picks someone else on the other side of the ring. This one isn’t happy with having Simon suggest that he needs help cleaning himself so we’ll move on to someone else.

The third fan finally agrees to get in the ring for a test of the Simon System. As Lawler makes jokes about her size, she introduces herself with Simon saying that everything must be bigger in Texas. Simon asks how long it’s been since she’s had sexual relations and knows that her friends just hang out with her because it makes them feel better.

She actually agrees to try the System and takes one of his drinks, which seems to taste pretty good. It helps you lose weight, and for someone her size, it should only take about twenty gallons a day. That means the drink goes onto Simon, who pours the rest onto her to end a long and not very funny segment. They’re trying to push someone but…..yeah I don’t see this one working.

HHH vs. Tajiri

Non-title. Hang on as here’s Snitsky to jump Tajiri in the aisle and kick him in the face. HHH is pleased and offers a handshake, but Snitsky says if they win, he’s coming for the title. You can hear the gulp from here.

Muhammad Hassan and Daivari are in a normal suburb with Hassan talking about growing up in a place like this. He was just like any other American and treated the same….until 9/11. All he wants is a chance. Daivari speaks Arabic

Pay per view rundown with Michael Cole and Tazz joining in for the Smackdown side.

Lawler starts up an OU SUCKS chant to annoy JR.

Edge talks about making his debut in this arena and how he wants to get his old feeling back by hurting Benoit. HHH comes in and downs some water to recover from his match. He’s looking forward to having Edge next to him instead of across from him on Sunday. HHH is worried about Snitsky but Edge says they’ll win because of him….and then he’ll come after the title himself. HHH having reality set in on him is always worth a look.

Here’s Edge vs. Benoit in Smackdown vs. Raw 2004. I played the heck out of that.

HHH rants to Batista about Edge and Snitsky, who Batista needs to set straight. He leaves the title behind and Batista takes a nice look at it.

Christy Hemme does the ring announcing for the main event. We spent how many months to get a new ring announcer?

Chris Benoit vs. Edge

Benoit isn’t wasting time and starts fast, knocking Edge outside and then throwing him back inside for a failed Crossface attempt. A belly to back suplex is more of a success as the announcers talk about all the people wanting a shot at HHH. Edge pulls him to the floor to get something going for the first time but a clothesline takes care of that in a hurry. That’s enough for Edge who tries to walk out, though he’s just suckering Benoit in for a smart move. Benoit goes back first into the apron and we take a break.

Back with Edge holding a chinlock and adding some right hands to the face for a bonus. With Benoit in trouble, here are Batista and HHH for a closer look. Now it’s Maven, Jericho and Orton to stare at the two of them because they’re bullies who need a numbers advantage. We actually focus on the match for a bit with Benoit walking into a spinebuster for more right hands to the head.

Edge takes too long going up and gets headbutted into a top rope superplex for a rather nice crash. Benoit gets the better of a slugout and knocks Edge off the apron, giving us another staredown from everyone outside. Not being one to wait, Benoit goes after Edge and catapults him into the steps. The Sharpshooter goes on until Edge makes the ropes so Benoit rolls the German suplexes. Edge is busted open as Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two, meaning the Crossface goes on. Everyone comes in and it’s a no contest.

Rating: B-. These two have always had good chemistry together and that was on display here, even with all the distractions going on around them. The ending didn’t help things but it does make sense with the main story. These two had a reason to be fighting other than just being on different teams on Sunday. That’s so much better than “here’s a preview for Sunday” with nothing else between the two of them.

Post match Snitsky cleans house and Team HHH gets in the ring for a staredown. The other four come back in and take care of the villains to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was good, but outside of the opener and main event, there wasn’t much of it to be seen. The problem at the moment is that the entire show is built around one match on Sunday, which is setting up the next month’s worth of shows. There’s something to everyone coming for HHH’s title, but this show made it clear that I need to watch the upcoming Raw’s instead of Survivor Series. That’s a rather backwards way of doing things and while this show was certainly watchable, I don’t really care to see the Raw half of the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Where I ramble about Kofi’s rise to the top any why it worked.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-long-road-paradise/

And they’re bigger than Pursuit.https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wow-aew-might-heading-top-cable-network-know-ones/

Assuming the report is true, AEW will likely be heading to either TBS or TNT and launching three days before Smackdown on FOX.  TBS is one of the biggest cable networks there is and is available in just about as many homes as USA, meaning this is going to be on equal footing with Monday Night Raw from the get go.  It’s time to see how much of an audience AEW has (or can have) and if this is true, they will have the best cable deal since WCW went under (mainly because it’s the same network that aired WCW Thunder back in the day).

Good luck.