IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler,

The main changes are Batista and Cena. They’ve more or less taken over the company as the biggest things in the world. Except for Batista because he’s out with an injury. Edge is the current reigning world champion though as he had more or less stolen the title at New Year’s Revolution. He’s got his rematch with Cena tonight. On the other side, Mark Henry is main eventing the show. I give up.

The other main issue is of course the death of Eddie Guerrero, which there’s been more than enough written about already. Other than that, there’s just not a lot going on here. This more or less is the first Rumble of what would be classified as the modern era, so let’s get to it.

The intro is just a recap of the major feuds. For some reason, Angle vs. Henry gets the most hype. Naturally they push Raw vs. Smackdown again. Edge is the Rated R Champion now. Lita’s stomach is the thing that dreams are made of. I’ve always wanted to say that. For reasons that no one will ever comprehend, the theme is Roman or something, which meant nothing and no one wanted to see. Stephanie in Roman clothing was nice though.

Cruiserweight Championship: Cruiserweight Open

This is the standard thing they were doing back in the day as they had completely given up on having any kind of storylines or flow to the division, so they just said screw it and threw everyone into one massive match where everyone is legal at once. In this, you have to be either the current Champion or a former champion. The participants are Kid Kash who is the champion, Paul London, Nunzio, Funaki, Gregory Helms and Jamie Noble.

London is wearing a gold mask for some reason that was never really explained. Helms is a surprise here. Oh geez there’s a Roman theme again where they have guys opening the door where people from out of the back from. It’s kind of like KOTR 96 for those of you that have seen that. Helms is from Raw here so he’s an outsider or something like that. Shockingly, the match is a huge mess to start as there are no tags or anything like that. Screw that order stuff.

London’s dropsault is stupid when it’s just one person but it’s cool when there’s two. It’s completely not effective but it looks good. Heck Rock won a bunch of world titles like that though so who cares? London looks like Tajiri for some reason. This is a pure spotfest here with nothing resembling flow or a story or anything like that, which makes sense I guess. At least they didn’t try as that would have been really stupid.

In a nice spot, Funaki whips Noble in and he launches a suicide dive through the ropes to take out two guys. You can tell a lot of these spots are preplanned but that’s fine as it’s working pretty well for what it’s supposed to be. With almost everyone else on the floor, London goes to the top rope and throws a shooting star press to the floor, more or less missing everyone and just slamming into the floor.

It looked PAINFUL and the fans give him a well deserved hokey smoke chant. In a cool spot that I haven’t seen before, London and Helms are on the top and Helms hits a swinging neckbreaker to get us back on the mat. It looked a lot better than it sounds.

For those of you that don’t know, Kash was a fairly big deal in ECW but other than that he’s been a minor player at best. The steps in the background are orange here so it looks like a bunch of empty seats. They get really fast in a hurry but it gets cut off too fast as Helms hits a Shining Wizard to Funaki for the pin.

Rating: B-. Now before everyone jumps on me, this isn’t the same kind of grade that I would give a normal match because this wasn’t supposed to be a standard match. This was designed to be completely insane and all spots to get the crowd awake and it worked fine. That’s the point of this and it did its job, so it gets a decent grade. There is no story to something like this and there shouldn’t be. Helms would hold the belt over a year.

Vince and Teddy long are around the Rumble drawing and Vince tells Long to leave. Naturally there are three hot women there. Orton and HHH come in and draw their numbers. Orton is happy and HHH hates his. Sex jokes abound as these two continue their eternal battle that never goes anywhere. Victoria looks incredible.

Trish is getting ready to be the referee. Mickie James says she loves her, and we have a lesbian stalker angle.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

For no apparent reason, this isn’t for the title as Trish is the referee and the champion here. They would have a decent match at Mania. This is back when Mickie was not only insane but also wore ridiculously awesome skirts. Ashley was one of the biggest flops in wrestling history as the winner of the Diva search who was just awful on a lot of levels. If nothing else we have Lillian, Mickie and Trish in the same ring. That’s not bad at all.

They have a headlock and actually go to the floor without breaking it up. That’s hard to do. Ashley can’t even lock up right. That’s almost sad. What’s sadder is that Joey has to say she’s a superstar. Oh yeah this was also when Mickie would scream her head off, which I’ve always liked for some reason. Ashley tried at least so I’ll give her that. The crowd is completely dead by the way. Mickie’s figure is flat out mesmerizing.

This is so odd to see someone with so much talent like James and someone with so little in Ashley. The thing here is that Mickie loves Trish but Trish trained Ashley. There are far too many bad submissions being done here to have a coherent match too. Ashley goes on offense and while it’s really bad, she’s trying. You can tell the different between someone that just doesn’t want to be there and Ashley, while bad, is trying.

However, her offense is either so limited or the fans like Mickie so much that they completely turn on her and boo her LOUDLY. Mickie powerbombs her out of the corner and Trish is really hesitant to count it, which is either part of the angle or then just giving up and saying let’s try to save some face here and just ending it early. Either of those would be believable to me.

Rating: C-. And that’s as generous as I can be. Ashley was bad here, but she was trying as hard as she could and I can easily respect that. Now later on when she just didn’t care, screw that. The fans turning on her like that annoyed me, but I can get what their point was. This was really just to set up Trish vs. Mickie, which is fine.

We see Helms at the WWE Interactive area, which means he’s chatting on WWE.com, which WCW had about 10 years prior to this.

More Rumble drawings with Rey and Big Show. It’s preceded by Vince checking the girls’ tattoos which is just annoying and stupid. In a funny bit, Show can’t get his hand in the tumbler to get a number out. Show is pleased and Rey is…oh screw it. They’re talking about Eddie again, which draws a huge chant and gives away the ending to the Rumble. Ok, before this comes up later, let’s just get it out of the way now.

The WWE needs to understand something. No wait, actually wrestling in general needs to understand something. When a wrestler dies unexpectedly, it doesn’t make them better. Eddie was indeed a very good if not great wrestler, but based on the things you hear about him now, you would think he was Ric Flair. He’s more about the level of Randy Orton or so. However, the undisputed champion of this is ECW with Louie Spicolli.

He was the epitome of an ok if not decent wrestler that was all of a sudden great after he died from a drug overdose. He simply was not as good as people made him out to be. For all of you ECW marks out there, show me ONE very good Spicolli match. It doesn’t even have to be great.

Show me one time where he had a great match. What was my point here? Oh yeah. Eddie was very good, but he only became considered great after dying. “KB you don’t know anything. He won the world title!” Yeah well this is 2 days after TLC and Sheamus is world champion so the belt really doesn’t prove all that much does it?

JBL vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is that JBL is terrified of Boogey. Oh and Boogey bit the “mole” off of Jillian’s face. She’s his assistant here or something like that. My goodness JBL has fallen far since winning the world title less than two years before this. It continues to amuse me when someone like Boogeyman is weighed in. And now I’m annoyed. I’ve never liked the Boogeyman character for one reason: he makes a mockery of wrestling.

Now yes, there’s a lot of stupid characters and while I tend to dislike the majority of them, when they can have a decent match, it’s almost acceptable. Boogeyman couldn’t do that, so when he does stuff like eat worms, then spit them up and spit them down into Jillian’s mouth, I have no use for him at all. It continues to have stupidity attached to it as we have to hear about how disgusted the announcers are.

Seriously, the Four Horsemen are in the same business as this guy. That’s just ridiculous. Thankfully, this lasts about a minute and a half, as after a stupid brawl where Boogey sells nothing at all, JBL misses a Clothesline and somehow slams into the post in a completely awful looking spot. A pumphandle slam ends it.

Rating: F-. This would usually be an N/A, but this was just a complete and utter waste of time. Seriously, why did this need to happen? I know it took less than 5 minutes, but really, there was NOTHING else we could have used that for? I hate gimmicks like these, I truly do.

Vince hits on the girls more and you can see they hate it. Shelton’s mama shows up. This was a freaking stupid gimmick where Shelton’s mom showed up to make sure he was taken care of. It was some comedienne that no one has ever heard of in a fat suit. You figure out how well it worked. Melina shows up and gets hit on too. Mama prevents him from hitting on her.

MNM, Joey Mercury and Johnny “Morrison” Nitro show up to draw as well. Both seem fairly middle of the road with their numbers. Melina says they’ll eliminate Shawn. We finish this long segment off with more Vince hitting on the girls. They eventually became a stable called Vince’s Devils. Yeah it went nowhere.

Before the Rumble starts, we have the Spirit Squad. Now for those of you that weren’t around for these guys, they were male cheerleaders that won the tag titles from Kane and Big Show. Amazingly everyone said the only one with talent was Kenny Dykstra. The one known as Nick became known as Dolph Ziggler. What does that tell you? Lillian is jaw dropingly hot here.

Royal Rumble

Lillian flubbing her lines is somehow sexy. How is that possible? HHH is number one and Rey is number two. Well you certainly can’t say they’re using no names to start us out. This is big match that’s never happened before. Oh the intervals are 90 seconds here. Oh here we go Rey is driving a lowrider. HEY, WE GET IT ABOUT EDDIE! I wouldn’t be so annoyed about it, but seriously, he brought up Eddie in the BATISTA feud.

Oh look he draped an Eddie shirt on the car. This is freaking ridiculous because it’s obvious Rey is going to win here for the sake of “honoring Eddie.” Rey’s entrance reaches Taker levels of time. He does the ten punches in the corner and looks up before he does it. This is freaking ridiculous and we’re just hitting number 3 which is Simon Dean. Cole, who is doing the commentary with Lawler, FREAKS because a Smackdown guy is attacking a Smackdown guy.

They team up and eliminate him easily. Have I mentioned that I hate the Bronco Buster? Psicosis of the Mexicools is 4th. They were a team of Mexican stereotypes who rode lawnmowers. I wish I was making that up. Rey counters a Razor’s Edge to put him out with ease again so we stay with those two guys. Number 5 is Flair of all people. He trips coming into the ring as Rey is down for no apparent reason.

Flair and HHH hammer on each other for awhile as I think HHH is a heel here. Oh yeah he would be. That was a stupid comment. He and Flair feuded over the IC belt of all things in some decent matches. You know for a guy that was allegedly the biggest ladies man ever, he used a lot of testicular claws. He’s gone soon after and we’re back at 2 people. Big Show is 6th so hopefully we get people in here for awhile.

He’s mad at HHH also, which is still going on today, which works as it’s been less than five years ago so a feud can easily go on that long. Naturally Show dominates here. With an eyeroll from me, Coach is number 7. Why did he always get spots in the Rumble? Show puts him out in about 30 seconds. Show demonstrates his intelligence by having HHH above his head twice and not even getting close to the ropes.

The announcers say that Coach might have set a record for shortest time in the Rumble. That’s so stupid I’m not even going to bother making fun of it. Lashley is 8th and they say he could be a dark horse. Can I get a rim shot? He’s a rookie phenomenon here, meaning that his career wouldn’t mean much since Vince refused to ever pull the trigger on him, even though he tried. In an impressive move, he gets a backdrop on Show as Kane, who is currently tag champions with Show, is 9th.

He and Lashley square off in a match of two guys that will never win a world title in WWE again. In a very impressive looking spot that wasn’t really that impressive, he hits the Dominator on Kane. Rey has been down WAY too long for no apparent reason. Sylvan, playing a gay character who doesn’t actually say he’s gay is 10th. He’s the fashion consultant or something. Yeah he’s gone in about 30 seconds.

Show and Kane hit a double chokeslam on Lashley and throw him out. So HHH and Rey are more or less just laying on the mat for about 5-6 minutes at a time which is again, stupid. HHH puts Kane and Big Show out, thus reaffirming his theory that he could out fight God if he had to.

Carlito is 11th, as other than the first two guys, no one has lasted 10 minutes yet. I really don’t like this theory of only having a few guys in there for the majority of the match. The Rumble should have about 6-7 guys in the ring for the majority of the match. It’s just right and it allows for things to not be too boring but also not too weak. Benoit is 12th as we’re picking up a bit.

He chops and suplexes the heck out of everyone just because he’s Chris Benoit and they’re not. Carlito gets a crossface for good measure as Benoit is freaking awesome. He and HHH fight over a suplex with Benoit on the apron which was cool looking if nothing else. The Canadian fights out of that and hits the headbutt on HHH so Carlito can get back up. Booker is 13th and the US Champion at the moment.

He’s wearing long tights which looks odd indeed. He would become king in a few months. Yep Booker is gone already, naturally by Benoit as those two were eternally joined at the hip for some reason. Apparently 20 minutes or so is a long time now. So the most we’ve had is what, 5 people I believe?

Mercury of MNM is 14th and since he brings Melina with him, he’s awesome. I love the way they carried the belts as they hung them from their pants so they swung between their legs. It’s original if nothing else. Mercury really is underrated in the ring. He’s a lot better than people realize. Cole brags about setting ratings records on UPN. That’s just hilarious. Tatanka is 15th to ZERO reaction.

He returned for a few months and no one, I mean NO ONE cared at all. His offense has somehow gotten even more generic if that’s possible which I didn’t think it was. The fans do the Florida St. Seminole chant to try to validate his entrance. Nitro is 16th. More commonly known as John Morrison if you’re not familiar. Tatanka beats on him, which somehow validated Matt Hardy and Tatanka vs. MNM on PPV in a non title match. You read that right.

The fans chant Eddie to just tick me off even more. Only Vince would manage to use death to push storylines. Trevor Murdoch is 17th. To recap we have HHH, Rey, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch and for some reason Tatanka. Cole takes a lull to mention that Rey is dedicating this match to Eddie. Eugene is 18th, and is booed out of the freaking building. He’s a classic case of a comedy character being used badly.

Rey hurts him to get a solid pop. For the love of goodness Animal of the LOD is 19th. Seriously, who picked these people? Oh apparently the new LOD are the long time rivals of MNM. You know, the team that’s been around for a few months. There are WAY too many people in there right now. RVD is 20th to a HUGE pop. Thankfully for the first time in history the company listened to the pop and made him world champion in June before he smoked his way out of the main event.

Oh yeah this was the summer that ECW returned. He cleans house of course. MNM is doing the Demolition thing of teaming up on everyone which is smart. Animal is out thank goodness. Orlando Jordan is 21st and I somehow manage to lose even more interest in this match. There are FAR too many people in the ring at the moment. Chavo is 22nd. Ok, him I have no problem with doing the pointing thing. There’s your difference between Chavo and Rey.

Chavo won a match with JBL on the Eddie tribute show, pointed to the sky a few times, and started using the frog splash. He’s mentioned Eddie a few times over the years, but for the most part he’s just said that he’s a Guerrero which he would have been no matter what. He had one angle with Rey over the Guerrero name, which made sense when you thought about it. That’s perfectly fine.

Then you have Rey, who used the splash, drove a lowrider, blew one up, pointed to the sky and dedicated about a year’s worth of matches to Eddie, using him as an angle and getting the world title because of it. He still mentions Eddie for storylines 4 years after Eddie passed away. There’s paying homage then there’s just being freaking ridiculous. What does Chavo get for being more humble about it? He lasts a minute here while Rey lasts an hour.

Of course Chavo shouldn’t have won or been in the last group or anything, but would 10-15 minutes have killed anyone? Seriously, Tatanka can get a long time but Chavo can’t? Matt Hardy is 23rd. There’s like 12 people in there right now and it’s absurd. You can’t see a thing in there at the moment either. Tatanka FINALLY goes out as Super Crazy is 24th. What is the point of half these guys being in here?

Shawn is 25th to a nice pop. He gets pyro when he comes out which is odd in a Rumble match. He ends Murdoch to thin the ranks out a bit. Chris Masters, who is more or less a newcomer at this point, somehow gets pyro also at 26th. I’m not even bothering to try to tell who all is in there at this point. Nothing of note is happening anyway. Viscera, currently the world’s largest love machine is 27th.

He puts out the far more talented Matt Hardy, but not before giving him the Visagra, which is where the other guy is on his stomach and Viscera gets on top of them and gyrates his hips. Yeah it’s worse than it sounds. Shelton is in next along with his mother. This is somehow stupider than I thought it was going to be. Eugene is gone, leaving a huge pool of sweat on the mat beneath him.

They’re really speeding up the intervals here to get through this. Goldust, who is returning for like the 12th time is 29th. That leaves Orton as number 30. Rey puts Crazy out as Orton comes out last. Ok, so your final group is Rey, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Shawn, Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Yeah that’s not too many people at all. Screw the sarcasm. YES IT’S TOO MANY FREAKING PEOPLE!

Geez do you think 14, or just under half of the people being left at the end is enough? Why don’t we just get rid of the whole unique aspect of the freaking match and make it a regular battle royal like the classic World War 3 series that WCW used to do? Those things went great didn’t they? Dang it Vince how hard is it to book a freaking Rumble? You have about 7-8 guys in at the end, 5-6 of them are big names and two or three jobbers.

Three are legit contenders, three are dark horses, and two are jobbers. There, that took 8 seconds to come up with. Orton puts Benoit out which Cole says is a rematch from Summerslam two years ago. More like a year and a half but who cares about facts? Carlito and Masters put out Viscera and then Carlito throws out Masters. Goldust takes forever to set up Shattered Dreams but at least manages to kick that turnbuckle really well.

RVD puts him out just before Orton puts out Jordan. Shawn and HHH go at it to keep the balance of the universe in order. Shawn puts out both of MNM within 5 seconds of each other to further kill the tag division which HHH and Shawn are the current champions of as of this being written. Sweet Chin Music puts out Shelton as Shawn is on a roll. Vince’s music hits as he and Shawn were feuding at the moment. He distracts Shawn so Shane can put Shawn out.

That leaves us with Rey, HHH, Carlito, Orton and RVD. Well I’m glad they took their time getting rid of the people. Shawn goes after Shane but HHH stops him but gets chin music. HBK chases the McMahons out because he’s a face and they’re heels. Van Dam puts Carlito out to give us our final four of Rey, HHH, Orton and RVD. RVD was returning so he wasn’t going to win.

HHH and Orton were possible and Rey was the clear winner so there we go. They split off with HHH vs. Rey and Orton vs. RVD. The faces hit some nice double team stuff to hurt the heels. Van Dam shows how stupid he is by going for a Five Star and gets put out. Orton and HHH get together for no apparent reason other than to beat up a guy that’s 5’5. However, Rey is empowered by the memories of a guy that he feuded with so he takes them both down.

Orton fights HHH. In other news, the sky is blue. Rey puts out HHH and it’s officially inevitable. Rey gets beaten up by HHH to just further make us take note of how awesome Rey is. Orton acts cocky and yeah Mysterio is going to Mania. Orton would get in and make it a triple threat where Rey would win the title and of course, dedicate it to Eddie since that’s all he’s allowed to do.

Rating: D. Eddie oversaturation aside, this Rumble sucked and it sucked hard. The booking was way off here as there were far too few guys in the ring at first and far too few in the end. The Rey thing annoys the heck out of me as people like to say RIP Eddie, yet they have zero problem with his history being exploited for the sake of bad storylines. Rey was passable as champion, but let him get there on his own and not because a guy died. That’s just stupid.

Other than that, WAY too many jobbers and fillers in there, which kind of reflects on the company as a whole. Seriously, why did Booker and Lashley stay in there for just a bit? To be fair, Booker was hurt so that might explain it. Either way, this match was awful in a lot of ways and I hated it quite a bit.

Rey is happy with his win.

We recap Cena vs. Edge, which was a result of the first cashing in of the Money in the Bank in a truly shocking moment. This was a huge thing as Cena was completely dominant and everyone was TICKED when he held the title again after the Elimination Chamber.

But when Vince’s music went on, everyone knew what was coming and it was awesome. Naturally Cena insisted on a rematch and talked about respect and having the title mean a lot to him. This was also the reign with the live sex celebration that apparently made Edge’s career better than Taker’s.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

So the scaffolds from the ceiling begin to lower. Smoke and lights and pyro go off. Styles says it looks like a spaceship. Yep, Cena is getting a special entrance that of course looks awesome. More or less his feet are where the top of his head would be if he was walking normally. Yeah there’s nothing at all that’s being implied about who wins here at all. Lita of course looks completely amazing. If nothing else I’ve heard Edge’s theme live so that’s cool.

For the love of all things good and holy, change the spinner belt. The W is spun almost halfway around and it just looks stupid. It starts off with their standard stuff which is traditionally good. Cena starts off in control but thanks to Lita Edge hits a spear into the steps, which more or less proves that he desperately needs a new finisher. We go into the crowd for just a bit but it goes nowhere. Cena dives in to beat the ten count which if nothing else looked cool.

Edge goes old school with his spinning heel kick. Why is Joey Styles the only commentator that mentions the referee’s names consistently? Cena can sell really well if nothing else. Good night Lita’s chest is amazing. The announcers get into an interesting argument: who is the better technical wrestler? That’s a most interesting question that’s going to get a thread soon. Edge’s facials remain awesome as ever. The crowd is fairly loudly booing John here.

Edge chokes Cena so of course despite being put in a hold that should kill him or would end any MMA fight, he gets up with ease. Both guys are down so we get another few shots of Lita’s chest to fill time. Following some botched interference from the hot chick, the FU and STFU give Cena the belt again. That was abrupt.

Rating: B. Eh, this was what it was. Cena and Edge work together just fine so their matches are almost always passable. Edge was more or less given the title as a test run and that’s fine. He got his name in there and that’s what counts. Cena was definitely the right choice to have the belt going into Mania so I have no issues with the booking here. The match was fine and it came off well. It’s nothing great but it’s fine for a title change that goes 15 minutes.

In case you were wondering, Rey is still happy that he won.

We do a very quick, as in about 10 second long recap of Angle vs. Henry, which consists of Henry breaking the ankle lock, which had been done by about 15 people up to this point, but it’s impressive here because of POWER. Angle was a transitional champion if there ever was one.

He took over when Batista got hurt (shocking isn’t it?) so he’s held the title less than three weeks at this point. Angle does his usual solid promo and then comes back to tell Henry he sucks. That’s what makes Angle better than most. He would head to TNA later in the year and be a huge coup for TNA.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

So Daivari used to hang out with Angle but he dumped him for Henry for no apparent reason. Soon after this Khali would show up. Yeah Angle is introduced as the new World Heavyweight Champion here. That’s the beauty of having guys like Angle or Shawn on your roster.

If something like an injury happens, you can throw the title on them for a quick fix and because they hang around the upper midcard with occasional main event matches, it’s perfectly believable to put the belt on them and no one really had a problem with Angle as champion. We get a fairly long feeling out period, but Henry catches Angle in position for the World’s Strongest Slam. Naturally though instead of slamming him though, he throws him to the floor.

More or less Henry beats the tar out of Angle for awhile as you would expect. Good night Henry you’ve been in the company ten years at this point. Don’t you think it’s time you learned some new offense? I mean really, we know you can slam, club, punch and squeeze. LEARN ANYTHING NEW. Angle gets a bad German, but to be fair, look what he’s working with. Angle Slam gets two. Henry powers out of the ankle lock using the same counter that everyone else uses to knock the referee down.

Angle gets a bad chair shot to Daivari and takes it into the ring. The chair is bent which always looks cool. Angle goes Hogan and cheats but remains a face. Two decent chair shots put Henry down but the fans are more or less dead here. They of course get two which gets a decent pop. I really don’t get the point of the chairs this early in the match. Angle pulls the turnbuckle pad off the middle turnbuckle and sends Henry’s head into it on a reversal for the pin. Really? That’s the best you’ve got?

Rating: D-. I have no freaking clue what they were going for here, but it was just an epic failure. Henry had no business being in there but he came off looking like a far bigger face than Angle did. It was really short, and I have no idea what the point was of this main eventing the show. Oh wait. Now I get it.

A gong goes off and the lights go purple. Ok, Taker has druids and a horse drawn chariot. That makes up for the main event. He signals that he wants the belt and sets off lightning. The ropes fall to the ground and the ring collapses as Angle holds the belt to his chest as we go off the air. Ok, that was freaking cool.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a very lackluster show. I know a lot of people will love the Eddie tributes etc. but I HATED them. One or two points to the sky and some frog splashes are just fine but seriously, giving the Rumble and ultimately the world title to a guy over Eddie? That’s WAY too much. Other than that, there’s just nothing special here at all. Edge and Cena is pretty easily the match of the night.

This show really was more about setting up for the future though, as Cena had to get the belt back and Angle had to get set up with Taker, which they managed to accomplish both. This really started setting the table for Mania, so that’s fine, but the show just wasn’t that interesting. Not recommended at all really, although some people might like it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re finally to one of the more important shows ever and the main event is a two horse race. This is clearly the year of John Cena or Batista and either one is a great option to win. They’re owning their shows right now and both of them seem to be locks to walk out of Wrestlemania with the World Titles. Predictable does not mean bad though and that seems to be the case here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at great Rumble endings as a clock counts down. After it reaches zero, we see….well more of the same actually but there are so many historic Rumble moments that it works just fine.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Nothing wrong with a grudge match. Edge blames Shawn for him not winning the World Title and has taken out some aggression on him. They get started fast with Shawn clotheslining him to the floor and skinning the cat so the vest can come off. Back in and the announcers argue over whether or not Shawn is a champion hog. Edge gets in a swinging neckbreaker and the fans are all over him early on.

A Thesz press and right hands let Shawn throw him over the top for a nice mini moment. Shawn’s baseball slide misses though and it’s the Edge-O-Matic on the floor to knock him silly. Back in again and the fans stay behind Shawn as they’re certainly loyal. Edge gets two off a sitout powerbomb so it’s off to a rear naked choke. Well a chinlock with a bodyscissors because it’s Edge but close enough.

It’s switched to a regular chinlock and a slam, allowing Edge to strike Shawn’s pose. Shawn is annoyed but walking into a big boot makes it even worse. A clothesline takes Shawn down again as he can’t get anything going here. Another chinlock is broken up in a hurry and Shawn scores with a knee lift and some atomic drops. Ten right hands in the corner set up the catapult for two but Shawn has to stop Edge from walking out. It’s either a ruse or bad timing though as Edge gets in the spear on the floor.

Shawn beats the count back in and Edge….dances? That’s certainly a new one. What isn’t a new one is the spear (complete with tuning up the band, though JR insists that Edge has no band), which only gets two. A superplex is broken up though and Shawn drops the big elbow. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop (nice counter) and the Edgecator goes on. Shawn makes the long and slow crawl to the rope (Lawler: “He was going to tap and the rope happened to be there!”) but Edge grabs a rollup and a rope for the cheating pin.

Rating: B. It’s a nice mixture of action and storytelling here as the match was good and edge cheated to win, which is what makes perfect sense for him. Edge hit everything he had on Shawn to try and win clean and then went with the cheating to put him away. That’s exactly what Edge would do because he’s so obsessed with getting a win so well done on the opener.

Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long argue over which brand will win the Rumble. With that out of the way, we get Torrie Wilson and Christy Hemme to stand there while wrestlers come in to draw their numbers. Ric Flair and Eddie Guerrero come in first with Flair dancing and having the girls blow on his ball (make your own jokes). Flair is thrilled with his number so Eddie hugs him without drawing his own number. For the sake of convenience, Flair checks his number again and finds a bad one. The chase is on.

Heidenreich is freaking out over caskets when Gene Snitsky comes in. They like each other and Snitsky has an idea. The tone of voices sound like…..never mind.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Heidenreich is the latest monster and Undertaker has beaten him a few times but since WWE can’t just let him go, we get a casket match. As luck would have it, Heidenreich is terrified of caskets so he’s been running around in panic for weeks now. What a great way to present a monster.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Casket match of course with druids bringing the casket out. Undertaker grabs a headlock and starts dragging Heidenreich towards the casket so at least he’s going smart early on. An armdrag into an armbar has Heidenreich close to the casket again as you can see a lot of empty seats popping up. Undertaker switches to the leg with a half crab so Heidenreich crawls to the rope, which is in front of the casket. No one ever accused him of making sense.

They head outside with Undertaker going face first into the casket as Heidenreich still isn’t coming off as interesting. Back in and Heidenreich hammers away in the corner while shouting that this is his world. Undertaker seems to disagree by grabbing a triangle choke on the top rope. Cue the taped up Snitsky to make the save and the double teaming is on. The casket is opened and Kane wakes up from his nap to pop out and make the second save.

Kane and Snitsky fight into the crowd as Heidenreich kicks the casket up the aisle. Undertaker goes knees first into the steps and it’s time to peel back the mats so we can get more violent. Heidenreich crushes him with the casket and it’s a cobra clutch to knock Undertaker out. Undertaker goes into the casket but keeps an arm out so the comeback can start.

The apron legdrop onto the casket onto Heidenreich gets the fans back into things but Undertaker walks into the swinging Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich covers due to general numbskulledness and Undertaker makes another comeback, this time with a bad looking running DDT. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish Heidenreich.

Rating: D. It’s not good, but this could have been a lot worse. Heidenreich got in some offense and didn’t feel as much like a chore to watch this time around, but this feud was done a month ago. The Kane and Snitsky stuff was pretty early on so the match was almost divided in half with a short piece in the middle. Somehow, we’ll call this better than expected, though that’s not the highest expectation.

Long demands Eddie give Flair’s number back and Evolution comes in to make it happen. Eddie gives it back and almost gets away with Flair’s wallet. With Eddie gone, HHH wants to talk to Batista about the Randy Orton match but Batista wants to go get his number first. HHH says NOW and Flair has to intervene.

Long comes back in to see Bischoff as Christian and Tyson Tomko are ready to draw their numbers. Christian and Tomko say they both signed a petition to get rid of Long and then draw. As Christian is happy, here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena to Bischoff: “Loved you in Boogie Nights.” Christian wants a battle rap of all things and tells Tomko to give him a beat. Tomko: “No.” Christian manages to rhyme Transylvania with Wrestlemania but Cena goes with the gay jokes to win the audience’s approval.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending. Angle chills on the floor to start and JBL actually starts swinging at Show. That’s quite courageous of him. Stupid as it works as well as you would expect, but courageous. Show catches him with a slam out of the corner and the legdrop gets two with Angle making a fast save. That’s fine with Show, who is right back up and knocks the two of them outside.

JBL gets posted and the power of the big hips knock Angle away as it’s all Show in the early going. Show sets up the steps next to the announcers’ and I don’t see this ending well. The super chokeslam is loaded up but Angle hits him low, setting up a monitor shot to knock Show through the table. Angle and JBL get back in with Angle grabbing an armbar, which feels a little out of place a giant just fell off the steps and through a table.

Some German suplexes fit the bill a bit better but the Angle Slam is escaped. JBL’s big boot gets two but Show is back in with a double clothesline. Show starts throwing the two of them around and another double clothesline connects for good measure. A double chokeslam is broken up though and it’s a Clothesline From JBL/chop block from Angle to put the giant down again. Angle is smart enough to hit a quick German suplex to drop the champ, followed by an Angle Slam to Show for no cover as Angle’s back is hurt.

Show is back up with a chokeslam for two, followed by a tackle to put JBL through the barricade. That leaves Angle in the ring with a chair but a charge lets Show flapjack him onto it. Cue Jindrak and Reigns to go after Show as the Cabinet is here to put JBL on a stretcher. Show fights the two of them up the aisle, leaving Jordan to throw JBL back inside. The Clothesline From JBL puts Angle down to retain the title.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and that’s not a surprise whatsoever after what has been a really good story. These three had an odd chemistry together and the match was a lot better than it probably should have been. If nothing else it was nice to not have the goons get involved until the end, and even then it was just for a distraction. JBL’s title reign continues to be far better than he’s given credit for with a match that was actually a lot of fun to watch.

Carlito tries to get Batista to sign his petition but a threat of violence gets rid of that. Batista goes in to draw his number as Bischoff and Long argue over World Title matches. Long says there is going to be a bunch of interference so Bischoff bans Evolution from ringside. Batista wants to tell HHH himself and seems very happy.

Wrestlemania XXI trailer featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. I loved these things and most of them were rather clever.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton. HHH won the World Title back inside the Elimination Chamber, including pinning Orton. It took Batista’s help though so Orton beat Batista in a #1 contenders match to earn the shot. Orton is a complete lame duck challenger as the fans have moved on to Batista and everyone but Orton seems to know it.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and Evolution is barred from ringside. Orton slaps him in the face to get things going and a backslide gets an early two. A rather high backdrop looks to set up a very early RKO so HHH bails to the floor, allowing Orton to take him down out there instead. Back in and Orton grabs Snake Eyes but the RKO is countered with a toss over the top and what could have been a scary looking landing.

A ram into the steps makes it worse for Orton and the RANDY SUCKS chants are just downright mean. HHH goes after the knee, which was attacked on Raw and not brought up until now. We go to the Ric Flair knee work package, including the Figure Four. The hold stays on for over a minute until HHH slaps him in the face, causing Orton to turn it over, albeit right into the ropes.

They head outside again with HHH being thrown over the announcers’ table, which isn’t exactly a big deal this time. Instead Orton takes him back inside for the backbreaker and the assorted punches in the corner. The high crossbody gets two but HHH gets in a knee. The Pedigree is countered so HHH hits the jumping knee to the face for two. Another Pedigree attempt doesn’t work so Orton blasts him with a clothesline. Orton slugs away in the corner but a grab of the rope blocks a DDT.

That’s enough to send Orton outside and the referee threatens to stop the match because Orton looks out of it. Instead Orton gets back in but HHH crashes into both of them for the ref bump. The sledgehammer is brought out but Orton trips him face first into the post. Orton can’t follow up though and it’s a hard clothesline to take him down again. The Pedigree retains the title in a finish that sums up Orton’s entire face run.

Rating: C-. That ending was terrible as Orton never even got in the big hope spot. Instead it was Orton getting knocked silly, not being able to do anything but keep himself from getting hit by the sledgehammer and then falling to the Pedigree anyway. These two seem incapable of having a really good match together and that was the case again here. As mentioned, Orton had no chance so it’s far from some miscarriage of justice, but it was disappointing.

Kurt Angle steals Nunzio’s Rumble spot under the threat of violence.

The drunken Cabinet comes in to Long/Bischoff’s office. Long isn’t happy and makes JBL vs. Big Show in a barbed wire cage match for No Way Out. That’s quite the escalation and JBL sobers up in a hurry.

Royal Rumble

Since this is the main event, here’s your trivia for the night: this is the first pay per view since the Wrestling Classic (and therefore the second ever to this point) to not have a tag team match. In case you were worried about a slow start, Eddie Guerrero is in at #1 and Chris Benoit is in at #2 with ninety second intervals. Eddie starts on the floor before coming in for the feeling out process, which doesn’t get anyone anywhere. They start striking it out and Daniel Puder is in at #3. He gets in but goes straight back to the floor to grab a mic, saying everyone here is about to witness history.

Puder gets inside and it’s time for Benoit and Eddie to chop the heck out of him, which might be Benoit’s specialty. Some suplexes make it even worse and it’s Hardcore Holly in at #4. Benoit and Eddie are willing to stand back and let Holly chop him as the point is becoming clear in a hurry. Holly hangs him over the rope for the kick to the gut and there’s an Alabama Slam.

Hurricane is in at #5 as Puder is tossed. This was WWE’s way of punishing/initiating Puder for being successful in Tough Enough, because WWE feels the need to torment people for getting over. Puder would never wrestle on the main roster again and I’d be surprised if he had a major appearance. Eddie throws Holly out during Hurricane’s entrance and Hurricane is thrown out a few seconds later, just as Kenzo Suzuki is in at #6. Eddie and Benoit double team him as well but Benoit throws Eddie to the apron in a smart move.

Edge is in at #7 and this should make things more interesting. Chops and right hands abound until Benoit knocks Edge back a bit. Rey Mysterio is in at #8 and as soon as we get rid of Suzuki, a heck of a tag match could break out (with any combination of teams). Rey’s headscissors gets rid of Suzuki but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Eddie to put everyone down. Shelton Benjamin is in at #9 and goes after Rey, who snaps off a headscissors.

Booker T. is in at #10, giving us Booker, Eddie, Benoit, Benjamin, Edge and Mysterio (get one or two more and you have a month’s worth of quality stuff). Rey can’t headscissor Shelton out but here’s Bischoff to watch. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter on Eddie, which Rey breaks up with a springboard dropkick. Just in case we don’t have enough awesome talent in the ring, Chris Jericho is in at #11. Jericho goes after Edge with right hands and a belly to back suplex before switching over to Eddie in the corner.

That means a lot more punching and not very close eliminations by the ropes until Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #15. Hang on though as Hassan and Daivari jump him in the aisle and Scotty can’t get in. Oh well. If we can drop every man for himself, we can drop 30 to 29. The beatdown takes long enough that it’s Charlie Haas in at #16. Booker kicks him in the face though and then tosses Reigns and Jordan in a row. He stops for a Spinarooni though and that’s enough for Eddie to get the elimination.

The eliminations slow for a bit as Rene Dupree is in at #17. Haas and Benjamin get back together for the jump over onto Rene’s back. Shelton misses a Stinger Splash though and Edge gets the elimination. Simon Dean is in at #18 but before he gets in, we need some Hindu squats. The distraction lets Edge get rid of Eddie and Dean finally gets in…..so Shawn Michaels, in at #19, can superkick him out. Things slow down a bit until Shawn dumps Haas.

Kurt Angle is in at #20 and it’s suplexes a go-go until Shawn superkicks him out. To recap, we now have Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Jericho, Dupree and Michaels. Coach is in at #21 and immediately starts grabbing the rope to save himself. Mark Jindrak is in at #22 but Angle gets back in and throws Shawn out, followed by a step shot to the head for some blood. Angle is finally dragged off and it’s Viscera in at #23.

Rey saves himself from elimination so Viscera slams him in the middle. With nothing else going on, Paul London is in at #24, nearly sliding all the way outside as he comes in. Dupree slams him down and we get the French Tickler. Jericho is smart enough to use the delay to toss Dupree (Tazz: “His tickler just got Frenched!”.). No one can get rid of Viscera so here’s John Cena in at #25 to pick things way up.

Cena backdrops Viscera out on his own because WWE knows how to make someone look like a star in the Rumble. Gene Snitsky, who can run pretty well when he’s all taped up, is in at #26 to shoulder people down. Snitsky sends London to the apron and BLASTS him with a clothesline, sending London inside out for a highlight reel elimination. That gives us the Cena vs. Snitsky showdown with Snitsky hitting the big boot.

Kane is in at #27 and it’s chokeslams all around, with the one armed version to Mysterio looking great. Jindrak is out but Snitsky saves Coach of all people. The pumphandle slam drops Kane but none of that matters because Batista is in at #28 to bring the fans back to full strength (everyone knows it’s coming now and they’re fully on board the Batista train). Snitsky is out first and it’s time for the Kane showdown, with the full on BATISTA chants as background noise.

The Batista Bomb plants Kane and Batista throws Jericho out. Christian is in at #29 and gets beaten down by Cena as Rey hits the 619 on Kane. That’s enough for the FU to get rid of Kane (because Cena is smart enough to use a move like that next to the ropes). Rey and Cena set up an alliance and it’s Ric Flair in at #30, giving us a final field of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batista, Christian and Flair. That’s quite the talent pool. Flair is smart enough to feed Coach into the spinebuster from Batista for the elimination and the same concept gets rid of Christian.

Benoit chops Flair in the corner but takes the big spinebuster as well. That’s it for Benoit but Flair makes the mistake of trying to toss Batista as well. Edge and Mysterio are smart enough to dropkick Batista at the same time with Edge getting rid of Flair (makes sense). That leaves us with Edge, Mysterio, Batista and Cena. Edge hits the spear on Batista and Cena but gets caught by the 619. Rey tries one too many runs off the ropes though and gets sent to the apron for a spear to the floor. Cena and Batista toss Edge and we’re down to the only two people who ever had a shot to win this thing in the first place.

Neither can hit their finisher and the fall out to the floor in the unplanned finish. With the referees split, cue Vince McMahon, who made the mistake of trying to get up from the Gorilla Position in a hurry after three hours. He tries to slide in under the bottom rope and there goes his quad (must be a family trait).

Vince tries to get up and just goes down, so the referees plead their cases as Vince sits down next to the bottom rope. With all of the confusion, they take turns throwing each one over the top (Batista threw Cena first, which makes sense. Cena throwing Batista out after and thinking that would count is just kind of dumb.). Vince says restart the match (and then goes to the back, where he put too much weight on his good leg and tore that quad as well), but for some reason Eddie and Benoit are nowhere to be seen. Batista throws Cena out in about ten seconds to officially win.

Rating: B+. If they could have nailed the ending, this is an all time classic. As it is, it’s just shy of great and that’s a pretty awesome place to be. Cena and Batista were all that mattered here and that was where they went for the ending, but the stuff before that was more than very good as well. They stacked the first half with talent and then had the very well done Angle vs. Shawn segment, which sets up a major match at Wrestlemania. By the time they were done, Cena showed up to bridge things to the ending. All in all, it’s a second tier Rumble at worst and just makes the end of the all time best list at best.

Overall Rating: A-. The Rumble is such a unique show as the one match can carry the rest of the card either up or down. In this case that’s very helpful as the four undercard matches nearly cancel each other out, with a pair of good ones, the bad casket match and the not very good Raw World Title match. What matters here though is they didn’t play any games with the ending and went with their strongest options at the finish. It was the right play and the only thing they could have done. Batista and Cena’s rockets are being attached to their backs and that’s what they have to do. Very good show and bordering on classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Before I get going, this is the Rumble where the promo was designed after West Side Story. The tag line was “All the rumbling, minus the dancing and singing.” Again I say, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THESE PEOPLE ON??? It’s not the scariest part that these people are agreeing to put this on, but that someone THOUGHT THIS UP and GOT PAID TO DO IT. I mean come on now. WEST SIDE STORY???

This is supposed to be one of the biggest fights of the year and it’s WEST FREAKING SIDE STORY??? ANYWAY, the rest of this show looks pretty weak other than the Rumble. Other than another year passing, we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, who are all of a sudden the hottest guys in the company.

HHH is world champion in a stunning revelation and is facing Orton tonight, allegedly in his last title shot. Say it with me: HA! We also have JBL defending against Show and Angle in a match I completely don’t remember. Oh and Edge is back and an Achilles enthusiast now. Let’s get to this.

Our opening video talks about how the legacy of the Rumble continues tonight. That’s fine. We shift to an alley where we have Raw and Smackdown dressed like it’s the 1950s and singing about fighting each other, with one line being: “We’ll step into the ring and reach an understanding. When the smoke has cleared I’ll be the last man standing.” Please, I beg of you now, end my life so I don’t have to listen to this anymore!

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge has been using Metalingus for 5 years almost? Methinks this might be dubbed. Oddly enough the same band is doing the theme song for the PPV. At Taboo Tuesday, Shawn had gotten voted into the title match instead of Edge, so we get this as a result. Ross calls HBK a first ballot Hall of Famer. Who makes the ballots for that thing? I want that job. My first step: shorten the class size to like 5.

We start off fast, shocking no one. They already reference the 95 Rumble so at least they’re starting it early. To kill some time we list of some of Shawn’s accomplishments because we have to do that at least once a week. The heel heat that Edge is already drawing is really impressive. In a painful looking spot, Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on the floor. That can’t feel good, which I think is the point. The crowd is hot tonight so that’s good.

Within maybe 30 seconds of each other, Lawler says that Edge has never gotten a world title shot and Ross says if Edge ever starts doing shampoo commercials he’ll be perfect. For those that have no clue why this is interesting, both of those things not only happened, but they both happened in 2002. Yeah I need a life don’t I? After Shawn comes back for a good while we hit the floor where Edge hits a spear.

For the love of mangoes he needs a new finisher. This is kind of an odd choice for an opening match. They’re both big names, so why not save this for a bit later? I guess because with only five matches on the card there’s no other place to put it. Edge tunes up the band but instead throws out the spear for two. Edge counters Sweet Chin Music into a SWEET electric chair that gets two. Edge is having a mental breakdown over this and his facials are still epic.

He counters a sunset flip into that weird kneeling Sharpshooter thing he would do that was always weird looking. The hold looks just completely awful when you look at it for more than three seconds. Shawn is in it over a minute and doesn’t tap which is fairly cool I suppose. Edge finishes with a reversed rollup and uses the ropes for a pin. I like that ending. Edge’s reaction of completely freaking out and screaming I DID IT was just awesome.

Rating: B. It took me awhile to figure out if I liked this match or not. The ending made it for me though as Edge getting the win was a big deal. Shawn definitely didn’t need a win here while this was Edge’s biggest win of his career at this point. The ropes at the end helped a lot too to play up Edge as a heel. This was a very good match overall with the booking being especially good.

We go to the back where Bischoff and Long, who more or less is the same character that he is now. Torrie and Christy are running the number draw as Eddie and Flair come in, both dressed like kings. Eddie starts to reach in but Flair stops him. He dances a bit and says 16 times.

Eddie pulls his hand back and lets Ric go first. That was great to me for some reason. Ric is thrilled with his number and Eddie is upset. Ric brags and then Eddie hugs him. Flair shows the girls his number and realizes Eddie stole his and chases after him. That was a lot better than it sounds.

Heidenreich is in the back, talking about how he hates caskets. Snitsky comes up and says he knows Heidenreich hates caskets, but they like each other and Snitsky has an idea. There are more gay overtones here than there were with Piper and Bob Orton, and that’s saying A LOT.

We recap Taker vs. Heidenreich (Jon, because that takes too long to type) which more or less was Heyman bringing Jon in and them fighting a bit. Jon was supposed to be some big tough fighter or something but he was bland as all goodness and it bombed badly.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

This is a casket match. They actually start with wrestling stuff, shocking the heck out of me. Taker keeps using headlocks to drag Jon to the casket. That’s really smart as it freaks Jon out. Jon is kind of an MMA/street fighter kind of guy but he’s just not that good at it. In an awesome spot, we’re in the corner with Jon throwing punches at Taker. Taker grabs the ropes and throws his legs up to tie up Jon in a triangle choke while still up in the corner. That was awesome.

Tazz points out why Cole is messing up the names of the moves which Cole gets annoyed with. For some reason the fans start booing the heck out of the match. Oh Snitsky is here. They double team Taker with a double suplex and Jon somehow manages to botch that. Do you have any idea how hard it is to mess up a move like that? Kane is in the casket. This was supposed to be Taker’s match at Mania. I’m glad they went with Taker vs. Orton instead aren’t you?

The announcers are of course stunned at someone hiding in a casket, despite Taker having done it about a million times. Jon moves the casket away from the ring for no apparent reason. Taker is back to beat on him some more as we have a Christian Coalition sign in the front row. TNA is already spreading. They’re on PPV at this point so I guess it’s possible, even though Christian was still in WWE at this point so ignore me.

Apparently Taker’s knee is hurt or something like that. Jon pulls back the mat as this match is a train wreck at this point. With Taker laying on the floor, Jon gets a running start with the casket to ram it into Taker. Granted he was almost under the ring so it actually would have been easy to get out of the way so there we go. Jon goes to his finisher: a cobra clutch. Are you starting to see why this guy was such an epic failure?

Naturally as Taker is put in the casket, he gets an arm out. This needs to end, like NOW. Jon uses a Boss Man Slam which Cole says Taker nailed him with. Yeah they botched that call something awful. The crowd really isn’t that interested either. Jon rolls him to the casket and in the EXACT SAME SEQUENCE, Taker gets out. After a REALLY bad chokeslam, the tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: D-. This was just bad on a lot of levels. There were all kinds of blown spots and the Snitsky and Kane run in was completely pointless. What’s the point in booking Taker in these matches if he never loses them? Jon was supposed to be Taker’s arch rival. That’s just funny. At least this finally ended this awful feud so we don’t have to put up with it anymore. This was really bad.

Ad for Mania.

In the back, Long wants Eddie to give back the number. Eddie’s face is priceless on this. Evolution shows up and demands it back, but Eddie gives it up. He’s also made to give back Flair’s wallet which Flair didn’t know about. Why aren’t these guys ever sued? Anyway, Batista says he needs to go get his number and he’ll be right back. HHH says they have to plan something. Batista says it’ll only take a minute and HHH orders him to stay. This doesn’t go well. Well at least they didn’t try to be subtle.

Christian and Tomko are ready to pick their numbers. He’s happy with it until Cena comes in to a huge pop. They have a battle rap that goes nowhere. The best part is when Christian asks Tomko for a beat and Tomko just says no. Cena makes gay jokes and the crowd pops for no apparent reason.

JBL is champion. Angle wants to be champion. Show wants to be champion. If that’s not validation for a triple threat I don’t know what is.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. JBL

Angle and JBL had a last man standing match on Smackdown apparently so they’re both sore. JBL with the limo was always cool. Show is the odds on favorite apparently. They did a double knock out on Smackdown. This is in the middle of JBL’s reign of doom where he held the belt for almost ten months. They need to get that belt back. It just looks awesome. Apparently there’s a petition to get rid of Teddy Long.

Angle hides on the floor which is a smart idea. They’re broadcasting in New Zealand apparently, so there you go Shadow! Show chops people quite a bit. Show is more or less dominating here. We have steps set up leading to the table which is a bit odd. Show sets for a chokeslam on JBL through it from on top of the steps, but Angle low blows him and a monitor shot puts Show through the table so it’s Angle and JBL at the moment.

The two of them fight it out in the ring to kill some time for Big Show to get back. Geez Show is huge compared to when he was the Giant still. That guy could have carried a company but he had to get all big and fat and slow and it didn’t work at all. Show gets back in and beats both guys up again and looks ready to win, more or less guaranteeing that he won’t. Just as I say that, the others team up to put him down with a combination Clothesline and chop block.

Show hits a chokeslam but JBL gets the foot on the rope. Show is actually moving with something resembling speed. And there goes the barricade as Show puts JBL through it. We cue up the run ins as Jindrak and Reigns come in to take out Big Show while the Cabinet gets JBL up and gives him a chair.

It isn’t used though as Angle walks into the Clothesline for the pin to keep the title as the fans boo the heck out of it. They don’t have much to boo about as he got a clean pin. Show got robbed apparently and would get a barbed wire cage match the next month that had a cool ending.

Rating: B. While I hate triple threats, this was pretty good. There was a flow here that you don’t often see in them as they kept one guy down for a good amount of the match in Big Show, which is definitely a good idea given how big he is and that he was the favorite. While it’s no classic, I like this one I think. It’s better than most I’ve seen if nothing else.

Batista won’t get rid of Long via the petition. He threatens Carlito who swallows the apple. In a continuous camera shot we go to the place where numbers are drawn and the GMs are arguing. Apparently Evolution is barred from ringside in the next match and Batista wants to tell HHH. You can see the turn a mile away.

Promo for Mania. It’s the Hollywood one this time.

Ross and Lawler talk about the PPV theme song and the Raw main event for no apparent reason.

We recap it as they had been feuding for months yet they kept going at it anyway. Who would have seen that? Orton allegedly wasn’t allowed to have another shot but of course he’s getting it again here. Orton got cheated out of the title at New Year’s Revolution by Evolution so he gets the shot here. I love how these guys have been feuding for almost five years over a team that existed for all of two years.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is the somewhat over face here. He was far more over about 4 months ago but because he was over, HHH was clearly the better choice for the belt than the young, over hotshot that was getting better and more popular every time he got in the ring. Orton goes for an RKO and HHH throws him over the ropes. Why couldn’t it injure him like it did in I think their second last man standing match? Orton used to have this weird style of punches that he’s using here.

I’ve never been able to get into it either. Oh and Orton has a bad knee of course. He swears about 7 times in 5 seconds in a nice touch. Why does something tell me that this will be by far and away the longest match of the night outside of the Rumble? HHH is already using the figure four because he has to be the new Ric Flair in every single way he can be. So we start fast and now HHH has decided to slow things down.

Did I mention that I really hate this match and rivalry? If there’s ever been a guy that has changed so completely over the years, it’s Orton. He’s almost unrecognizable both as far as looks go and the way he works in the ring. It’s a total contrast. Orton is bleeding badly from the lip and looks a lot like Ted DiBiase in that shot. He counters a Pedigree as I just couldn’t care less about this match.

There’s just something that’s always been missing between these two when they got at it and it’s always hurt this match. Granted this is better than most of their future matches, but the problem is already coming clearly here: they want this to be some epic encounter but at the same time, nothing ever comes of it and that’s not a good thing at all. Orton takes a shot to the head and looks like he has a concussion that I think is faked as they keep getting shots of it.

Dang it the referee went down. This match just needs to end and it needs to do so now. It’s hammer time as I’d advise you to make your own jokes. We’ve hit the part of the match that always happens between these two. There comes a point where it’s always about the hammer and not about the wrestling at all. This is where these matches lose it for me as I just freaking don’t care anymore about them.

Why does everything have to follow the same formula of a long match leading up to one moment where the hammer is the key to the whole thing while the referee is down? It always comes to this and it’s just boring to say the least. Also, get some referees that can take a freaking hit. HHH gets the Pedigree and the academic pin to thankfully end this with HHH STILL having the belt.

Rating: D+. This was the same match you’ve seen from these guys a dozen times but with Orton as the face. HHH was clearly going to win and it was to have a title match on the show and nothing more. There was no point to this at all and it just wasn’t interesting whatsoever. HHH and Orton simply can’t have a great match and they need to stop trying like they seem to have done.

Nunzio gets a spot in the Rumble and Angle steals it from him and says it’s his unless Nunzio wants to fight for it. Ok then.

JBL and the Cabinet come into the drawing room celebrating with champagne and Long says there’s a barbed wire cage match at No Way Out. JBL’s face is great here.

Ross and Tazz are doing the commentary for the Rumble again.

Royal Rumble

Eddie is number one and Benoit is number two. Not a bad way to start. Benoit is rocking the teal here. Dang Benoit has bad luck as he was first last year. This is borderline chilling when you think about it. Naturally, this is a technical showcase which is what it should be. Daniel Puder, perhaps the most worthless wrestler in a long time, is third. His theme song is Getting Away With Murder. Talk about chilling.

It should be noted that the runner up in the Tough Enough show that Puder won was the Miz. Talk about two different career paths. Geez. Puder gets on the mic and says he’s great. Was there something in the water at that Tough Enough show? Naturally the two former world champions beat the living tar out of him. More or less they just spend the 90 seconds chopping and suplexing the heck out of him as Holly, the rookie hater, is 4th. This should be great.

He gets in and asks if he can have some fun with Puder too. He’s had zero offense. This really is quite funny. Even Holly is over because of this. Think about that for a bit. Holly throws what’s left of him out as Hurricane is 5th. Benoit and Guerrero throw out Holly since he’s useless again to get us down to three. They team up and Eddie tries to throw Benoit out and they’re at it again. Hurricane is out as Kenzo Suzuki, another completely worthless human being is number 6.

This Rumble feels like it hasn’t even gotten started yet and since we’re 1/5 of the way through, that’s not good. Again they double team the other guy until Benoit tries to throw Eddie out. Edge is in at seven. Rey is eighth as nothing at all is happening. Kenzo is out almost immediately. It’s not a good sign at all when you have four world champions in the ring and there’s just nothing going on at all. I mean it’s just boring for some reason.

The Guerrero vs. Mysterio feud was coming soon and it would be Eddie’s next to last major one. Shelton Benjamin, the IC Champion, is number 9. He hadn’t had his big match with Shawn yet to really get him over but it was coming. At this point he was just a guy with untapped potential rather than now as a guy that no one takes seriously with untapped potential. He would finally break out soon after this at MITB at Mania.

Booker takes us to ten as the least successful wrestler out of the 6 in there is Shelton Benjamin. They’re blowing their load too fast here as Tazz messes up by saying that Booker vs. HHH was last year. Benjamin might have gone out but we’re looking at Bischoff who just showed up for no apparent reason. We continue the insane star power in there with Jericho at 11th. He’s WAY over with a huge Y2J chant.

Hey looks here’s Teddy Long as Vince continues the theory of keep pushing the Brand Split until people accept it so you can say it was a good idea. Luther (for admin) Reigns comes in at 12 to break that streak. There are way too many people in there right now. Now we throw every man for himself out the window as Raw and Smackdown get on different sides for four one on one matches that consist of Rey vs. Jericho, Benoit vs. Reigns, Booker vs. Edge and Eddie vs. Shelton.

This is kind of cool but kind of stupid as it’s turning the Rumble into an even bigger gimmick match than it usually is. Muhammad Hassan, the most controversial wrestler perhaps of the millennium, is number 13. Everyone stops cold for this. His manager is more commonly known as Sheik Abdul Bashir in case you didn’t know that. In a humorous bit, everyone jumps him at once to a great pop. Rey gets 619 and then almost everyone picks him up and throws him out as a group. That was great.

Orlando Jordan is number 14 as this needs to stop being so gimmicky. Tazz tries to compare Orlando Jordan to Shelton Benjamin. That’s just amazing. In a TERRIBLE shot, Shelton is choking Jericho with his feet and Jericho has to grab the foot to move it to his throat. It looked terrible. Scotty is number 15, apparently returning from a tumor in his balls or something. Hassan keeps up a tradition of beating up Scotty on his way to the ring. That has to be what, three times?

So for another year, Scotty doesn’t get into the match. Charlie Haas is 16th. How in the world did he get a chick like Jackie Gayda? Booker throws out Luther (for admin) and Orlando with ease. Booker goes for a spinaroonie but Eddie jumps him to put him out. We have Benoit, Guerrero, Shelton, Edge, Jericho, Haas and Rey in there at the moment. In yet another chilling line, Ross says Benoit and Guerrero are still alive.

Rene Dupree and the poodle is seventeenth to insane heat. The World’s Greatest Tag Team reunites for all of a second with Shelton then going for a Stinger Splash, actually called that by Ross, and Edge dumps him. Simon Dean is 18th as the Rumble is legal. While he’s warming up on the floor, Edge throws out Eddie to great heat. Shawn is 19th. He hammers Edge before casually turning around to clothesline Dean out. Eddie gets a huge chant as he leaves.

Ross says that Edge is trying to corner Rey in a corner. Shawn throws out Haas which gets no recognition as Ross thinks it was Dupree. Angle is 20 and he comes in and stays insane since saying going insane wouldn’t make a lot of sense. Shawn misses a superkick but hits the second to put Angle out in a shocker. Angle is TICKED. Currently we have Benoit, Edge, Rey, Jericho, Dupree and Shawn in there and they’re joined by the Coach of all people at 21.

This is the thing I hate about rumbles like these: what’s the point of putting him in there? Was there no one else on Raw that could have gone in there at all? I mean you couldn’t throw Lawler in there who at least was a wrestler? Rey almost puts Jericho as Jindrak comes in at 22. Angle runs back in and beats up Shawn and throws him over the top. Shawn is bleeding and apparently is out now, setting up their Mania 21 classic.

Number 23 is Viscera who still has no one that cares about him. At least he’s got a shirt on here. Paul London is 25th and he slides in so fast that he almost goes out the other side. Dupree does that stupid French Tickler dance and Jericho puts him out for it. Cena is 24th to a MASSIVE pop. Tazz likes him way too much.

He was just about to shatter the glass ceiling as he would win the world title at Mania from JBL. He manages to backdrop Viscera to eliminate him. I don’t care if you like Cena or not: he has SCARY strength.

Snitsky is 26th. London jumps him and in a video that’s become popular on the internet for obvious reasons, Gene clotheslines him so hard that London got spun backwards which I don’t think was planned. Kane is 27th, causing Tazz to freak over the way that Ross has to put up with these explosions. As someone that’s been surprised by his pyro, I feel his pain. Kane cleans house of course and there goes Jindrak.

A shirtless Coach tries to jump him but Snitsky saves him. London goes out on a stretcher. Batista is 28th and the pop is epic. They were pushing him to the moon around this time and it clearly was the right decision at the end. There goes Snitsky. Kane continues his tradition of getting beaten up by Batista, this time taking the powerbomb. Batista puts out his third guy by throwing out Jericho.

Christian is 29th, finally with the Just Close Your Eyes theme whose current version I’m completely addicted to. Cena goes off on Edge to show off their future great feud. Cena gets a half F5 half FU to Kane to put him out. Flair is number 30, making the final group Benoit, Edge, Coach, Batista, Cena, Christian, Rey and Flair. So other than Coach, all world champions in some company. Not bad at all. Flair throws Coach to Batista for a spinebuster and Flair throws him out.

There goes Christian. He and Edge were both wearing purple. Benoit and Flair have a chop off. Flair and Batista do the same thing to Benoit that they did to Coach. Flair tries to throw out Batista and it doesn’t go well. Rey and Edge knock Batista down with a double dropkick. Edge puts Flair out and your final four are Edge, Rey, Cena and Batista. Not bad at all. Edge hits a spear on Batista and Cena but Rey avoids it.

619 hits but Rey goes too fast and goes over and a spear puts him on the floor. Batista and Cena put Edge out to get the dream match for the final two. The crowd reacts to this in a great way. This has to headline Mania someday. Cena gets him up for the FU but Batista gets out. Cena is put up for the Batista Bomb but they go out at the same time in an homage to the 94 Rumble. Screw the homage part. It’s the same finish, but to be fair that was 11 years ago so I think it’s ok.

The referees argue over it until Vince comes out. He slides into the ring and hits his legs on the apron, ripping his quads and knees apart. He tries to stand up and just crumples to the ground in agony. Instead of screaming in pain or whatever, he sits on the mat leaning against the ropes and does his thing. Batista clearly is about to lose it. Think about it from his perspective for a minute.

You’re wrestling in the main event of the Royal Rumble, one of the biggest shows on the year and you’re in an angle that’s going to send you to Wrestlemania, and your boss, a billionaire, is sitting on the mat after collapsing and ripping his legs apart, not to mention the epic adrenaline rush you must have just been on. Think about that for a minute or two. Anyway, Fink says Vince ordered the match to be restarted.

This translates into Cena vs. Batista. Shouldn’t that mean Benoit and Guerrero come out again and we do the whole Rumble over? That’s what it sounds like to me. Anyway, Batista throws Cena over and then Cena throws Batista over before this is said which is just stupid, at least from Cena. FU is countered and after a spinebuster, Batista throws him out for the easy win.

Rating: B-. I’ve seen far worse I guess. This match never really seemed to get going for my tastes. Now to be fair while it was clear that Batista was the winner before the match even started, they did have Cena out there as a potential winner along with Edge who was a new main event guy, so at least they tried.

I just couldn’t get into this as there were too many things where the match more or less stopped for something. Also having the huge rush of talent in the first third hurt later parts of the match where those guys could come out. It was good but it could have been a lot better.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some good stuff and there’s some bad stuff here, but the good is more prolific than the bad here. This was a lot more about changing the guard by launching Batista and Cena into the next level which makes it a bit awkward but that’s ok I think. They were the right choices and this was a great way to do the change. I like the show overall, but the second and fourth matches leave a bit to be desired. Not bad, but don’t expect to be blown away.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling

Fusion #91
Date: January 4, 2020
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: AJ Kirsch, Rich Bocchini

We’re still in New York to start the new year and it’s time for the semifinals of the Opera Cup. The first set of matches were pretty good and hopefully the semifinals and finals should be fine. Other than that, because it has been at least a week, we have another Jimmy Havoc vs. Mance Warner match. Let’s get to it.

Mance Warner yells about how he and Jimmy Havoc have fought several times. They’ve busted each other open and now Jimmy has left him bandaged up. Havoc needed his princess to help bust him open so Warner is going to put all that in his pockets and carry it with him to Dallas, Texas for their barbed wire match. That’s all well and good, but was there a reason why he was looking just off the center of the camera?

Opening sequence.

Here’s Tom Lawlor, in a Von Erichs shirt, with someone we don’t know. All anyone wants to talk to Lawlor about is the Von Erich family but that’s because they’re idiots. The only people dumber than them are these fans and Lawlor sees a lot of fakes in the crowd. In the back though, he sees a couple of fake Von Erichs (my kingdom for a Lance reference) so tonight, Tom wants to face the greatest Von Erich: Lance’s son (SWEET!) RIP VON ERICH!

Tom Lawlor vs Rip Von Erich

Rich: “Who the h*** is this ham and egger???” Lawlor offers Rip (who is a bit short but looks fine enough otherwise) a test of strength before shouldering him down. Rip tries another shoulder and bounces off of Lawlor before it’s time to work on the wrist. Now it’s a half crab as Lawlor starts in with the torture. Rip fights up, spins around a few times, and misses a discus punch. That sets up the airplane spin so Rip tries the Claw, earning himself a rear naked choke, complete with a Claw, to give Lawlor the win at 3:20.

Rating: D. It was an idea but they didn’t go far enough with the joke. Lawlor isn’t a big guy but Rip looked more like a regular jobber and not the kind of person you would really make fun of here. It helped when he was inept in the ring, but the joke really didn’t set in at the beginning.

Post match Lawlor celebrates his victory over the Von Erichs. He’s ready for people to be cheering for him instead of the Von Erichs. Cue Ross and Marshall (it took long enough) but the Spirit Squad of all people jump them from behind and the big beatdown is on. Even the corner man helps in with the stomping.

It’s the Zero Hour Control Center, focusing on Gino Medina and the AAA partnership. Oh and barbed wire of course.

We look at Contra attacking the debuting Stronghearts last week.

Richard Holliday and Alexander Hammerstone want Gino Medina in the Dynasty when Salina de la Renta comes in to laugh at the. Hammerstone says stop c*** blocking them but she doesn’t know what she’s blocking.

Davey Boy Smith Jr. is ready to out wrestle Hammerstone to make the finals of the Opera Cup. Fatigue is going to set in on Hammerstone and the submissions are coming.

Opera Cup Semifinals: Alexander Hammerstone vs. Davey Boy Smith Jr.

Non-title, Holliday is with Hammerstone and MJF is on commentary because we’re a lucky audience this week. After MJF is bored with Smith and refuses a handshake with AJ without a lot of hand sanitizer, we’re ready to go with a battle over wristlocking. Smith takes him down for a double arm crank with AJ talking about leverage. MJF: “AJ the word is shut your mouth and stop making eye contact.”

Smith it sent hard into the ropes and has to skin the cat, only to have Holliday grab his foot. Hammerstone hits a bicycle kick (MJF: “HE GOT A BICYCLE!” The old school references are on fire this week!) and they go outside with Smith being dropped back first onto the barricade. Back in and Hammerstone stomps away in the corner as MJF goes into a tirade about a suggestion that he isn’t the leader of the Dynasty.

Hammerstone puts on the chinlock and demands that the referee ask him in Canadian (heard something similar before and it’s still funny). That’s broken up in a hurry so Hammerstone hits a dropkick (MJF: “THE MEAT CASTLE! GETTING AIR! AJ, was that dropkick tough enough???) for two, setting up something like a seated abdominal stretch. Smith fights back up and wins a slugout, including some right hands in the corner.

A big boot into the legdrop sends MJF into a short rant about how un-American these fans are for cheering for a Canadian. The Nightmare Pendulum is loaded up but Smith counters into the Crossface, only to have Holliday offer a distraction. MJF: “There’s clearly a bug on his kickpad!” Hammerstone kicks Holliday by mistake (MJF: “WHAT’S GOING ON??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”) and it’s a running powerslam into a Swan Dive to give Smith the pin at 8:55. MJF: “WHO THE H*** IS STU HART???”

Rating: C+. The wrestling was fine here but it was the MJF show as he was one of the most entertaining and hilarious guest commentators I’ve ever seen. He knows exactly what he is and who he is supposed to be and that’s a great thing for everyone. I’m sure he won’t be in MLW forever, so enjoy him while you can until he gets to AEW full time.

Post match Hammerstone loads up a handshake but Holliday pulls him away.

Brian Pillman Jr. is used to being the underdog because he left his home at 13 and no one helped him get into wrestling. Cue Injustice, who thinks they should be getting this interview time. They threaten Pillman with violence, because if Pillman is hurt, they get his spot as the alternates.

Contra is ready to destroy the Strong Hearts.

Erick Stevens is coming.

Video on Low Ki.

Strong Hearts vs. Contra

Cima is getting a World Title shot against Jacob Fatu in February so there are some future tie-ins here. Gotch and Cima chop it out to start with Cima shrugging off a takedown and hitting a dropkick. Another dropkick to the back sends Gotch into the corner and it’s Lindaman coming in for his own shot to the back. The much smaller Lindaman is brought into the Contra corner and the stomps/chops begin.

Gotch rakes him with the boot in the corner and it’s Fatu coming in for the real beating. Gotch’s suplex makes it worse for Lindaman and he’s smart enough to drag things back into the corner. There’s a low superkick from Fatu but Lindaman slugs away and even manages to get him up for a slam. Unfortunately he can’t turn it over though and Fatu falls on top of him with a big crash.

Lindaman finally gets over and it’s Irie, the big man, coming in with a slingshot splash for two on Gotch. To mix it up a bit, Irie piledrives Samael onto Gotch for the double knockdown and it’s time for the hoss fight between Irie and Fatu. An exchange of clotheslines doesn’t go very far but Fatu gets the better of an exchange of crossbodies. A handspring moonsault gets two on Irie and everything breaks down with all six heading outside.

Irie hits a suicide dive on Fatu, who jumps back inside to hit his own, giving us those crazy eyes. Back in and Fatu can’t quite beat up all three of them at once, allowing Cima to knee him in the head, setting up Lindaman’s bridging German suplex for two. Lindaman hits a big flip dive onto Gotch but Fatu hits a pop up Samoan drop on Cima. The double springboard moonsault finishes Cima at 11:01.

Rating: C+. I’m really not sure how smart it is to have the World Champion pin the debuting #1 contender with his finisher after a pretty dominant six man tag. Cima can do a lot of things in the ring but that doesn’t seem like the best idea in the world. That being said, Fatu is a total monster and I can go for seeing him do whatever he wants out there, just like this.

Lawlor challenges the Von Erichs to defend their Tag Team Titles against his two best students.

Overall Rating: C. This could have been a lot worse and I’ll take what I can get. The matches were ok, but the show doesn’t really have a major direction at the moment. Cima being thrown out there as the next #1 contender doesn’t do much for them and the Opera Cup seems to be the top story. That’s not exactly great stuff, though it’s still an entertaining enough show. Just get a bigger top story soon, plus more MJF talking is always appreciated.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Promo Of The Year

This is another important one because while the wrestling world revolves around matches, it’s the promos that make people care about them. A good promo can take a feud (or a character, or anything for that matter) and turn them into something people care about in a big way. There were some awesome promos this year and they weren’t even always about matches.

The Inner Circle Mocks Cody (Dynamite – November 6)

This is one of those things that was put together so perfectly that it was actually memorable. Cody had released a video talking about how important the World Title match was for him and a bunch of talking heads agreed and said how much this was going to matter. It was a really good video and some of the best stuff ever from Cody, but it became obsolete the second this aired.

The Inner Circle aired its own version of the video, mocking every single thing Cody said and did, even down to having Virgil appear as a completely random talking head, going on about how Chris Jericho’s World Title reign will be like the breadsticks at Olive Garden: unlimited. I laughed more than once at this and it was the funniest thing AEW has put out to date. There was real effort in this but more importantly it was from people who knew how to be funny, and it was.

Kofi Kingston: You Know What Comes Next (Smackdown – April 2)

I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that Kofimania was probably the most memorable part of the entire year. Kofi Kingston made the jump to main eventer and his rise to the title turned into an avalanche with one of the best payoffs in recent memory. He had to get there somehow though and that’s what happened here, in probably the most memorable promo of his career.

On the go home show for Wrestlemania XXXV, we had the contract signing between Bryan and Kingston. Bryan did not seem worried as he signed, saying that this was where it all ended for Kofi. That wasn’t going well for Kofi though, who got more aggressive and showed more fire than he has in his entire career, promising to go to Wrestlemania where Bryan knew what would come next. You could feel the energy here and, for me at least, it made me believe that Kofi could actually do this. If he didn’t, he was likely never getting another similar chance, giving us all the making for an instant classic (which it was).

Tommaso Ciampa: Welcome To The Main Roster (NXT – November 6)

One of the best things about the entire year was the rise of NXT. A lot of that came from Survivor Series as NXT rose up from developmental to something that no one could have ever realistically imagine. The three way feud between Raw, Smackdown and NXT saw all three shows showing up at each others’ events and causing chaos, which included one of the best lines of the year.

On the November 6 NXT, the OC invaded the show to kick things off. This brought out one of the last men in NXT that you want mad at you, Tommaso Ciampa, out to the ramp. Ciampa got straight to the point by welcoming the three oft hem to the main roster. That simple line told you everything you needed to know about NXT’s mindset in this battle and you knew that we were in for something special, which is exactly what you got.

Maxwell Jacob Friedman Trolls Bret Hart (Double Or Nothing)

This one is cheating a bit but since I set the rules for this thing, I think it’s going to be fine. The big segment was designed to introduce the World Title but it also helped set up Hangman Page vs. Maxwell Jacob Friedman. Hart came out with the title and unveiled it, but Friedman wasn’t about to let that kind of opportunity pass him by, which made things more interesting.

Friedman, referencing the attack at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony the previous month, came out and shouted “BRET! LOOK OUT! A FAN!” The rest of the segment came and went, but my goodness it was amazing. Friedman might be the best talker in the world right now and this was one of his best moments ever. It showed you what he could do on the big stage and that makes me very interested in where he gets to go in the future.

Nick Aldis: From A Punchline To A Powerhouse (NWA Powerrr – October 8)

I almost left this one off but the NWA deserves at least a mention somewhere. I did not want to do Powerrr every week. By then I already had a bunch of shows to cover every single week and hearing about the NWA getting a show just made my head hurt. My idea was to watch one episode and then move on to something else. And of course, the show was really good and a lot of that came from one promo at the beginning of the first show.

I know it hasn’t meant much in the last few….well decades really, but the NWA World Title is one of the most important championships ever in wrestling. That title design is legendary and a long list of legends have held it before. Nick Aldis is the World Champion, so it made sense to have him front and center for the debut show. He explained that it was a new era and the NWA was no longer a punchline. By acknowledging their failures and looking straight into the camera on such a simple set, Aldis gave you the feel for the show in one interview and I knew we were in for something great.

Firefly Fun House Debut (Monday Night Raw – April 22)

This is one of those segments where you have no idea what it is going to lead to but egads it caught your attention. We had only know Bray Wyatt as the cult leader and then he’s here, as some deranged version of Pee Wee Herman, complete with talking animals. As Jim Cornette said about Steve Austin, you knew he was going to be a big deal but nobody knew how big.

There isn’t much in the first episode, but it made you understand that something big was coming here and that’s what mattered. It got your attention and showed you that there was something else to Wyatt instead of just the same stuff. What followed was even better, but this set the stage in a way that nothing else has done in a very long time.

And one more from a day you may remember.

Cody Sets Up Full Gear (Dynamite – November 6)

Sweet goodness November 6 was a big day. This is a more simple concept: we have a World Title match and Cody needs to sell it. The fact that his father is Dusty Rhodes probably helped this out a lot because….well his dad is possibly the best promo of all time, and that means he had some good stuff to draw from.

Cody went on an incredible rant about how much he needed to become World Champion to honor his legacy but also prove that he belongs on the list of all time greats. This was pure emotion and the whole thing made me want to see Cody win the title. It was one of the best promos he’s ever done and he even agreed to never challenge for the World Title again if he lost. Ok so it might not have been the brightest move in the world, but it was a great delivery and got its point across, which makes it the best of the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 13, 2020
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vic Joseph

We’re less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means things need to pick up a lot. The Rumbles themselves have barely meant anything so far as it seems to be all about Brock Lesnar for the men and Charlotte seems destined for the women’s. You know, in case you were worrying about something fresh sneaking in. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the end zone in the lower arena.

Opening sequence.

Your regular rant that only I care about: this show is not on the campus of the University of Kentucky. Rupp Arena is not owned by the University nor on its campus. I know just saying “Lexington” is too much to ask for WWE, but when you spend four years of your life at a school, it can get annoying hearing them get it wrong (or intentionally saying it wrong) EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Here’s Randy Orton for an opening chat. The music stops but Orton gets cheered so much that he has to get on the ropes for one more pose. Orton, not on the mic: “I had to.” Orton says he was asked to come out here and excitedly welcome everyone to Raw. He isn’t the excitedly kind of guy though so he’ll invited one single person out here instead.

That would be AJ Styles and sweet goodness that hair has a life of its own. AJ mocks Orton for faking a knee injury and having the gall to suggest that he is the favorite to win the Royal Rumble. Last week, the world saw AJ Styles hit the greatest RKO anyone has ever seen. AJ: “It was beautiful!” People even said it was phenomenal but AJ would rather talk about the Rumble, which draws out Drew McIntyre.

Drew says he’s been tested lately, with the Conga Line putting him on the ropes last week. Now he wants some more competition, so here are AJ Styles and Randy Orton having an RKO size measuring contest. Drew: “My Claymore is bigger.” That makes Orton drop his mic and McIntyre wants a triple threat right now. Ring the bell.

Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre gets knocked to the floor early on and Orton breaks up a way too soon Phenomenal Forearm attempt. Cue the Good Brothers in a hurry with an RKO taking down Anderson and a Claymore to Gallows as we take a break. Back with AJ sitting on top and getting chopped by Drew, who gets crotched on top. Orton joins them and tries a superplex on AJ, only to have Drew sit up and German superplex Orton who superplexes AJ for a rather cool spot.

The fans accurately think this is awesome as Drew beats on both of them in turn. There’s the Futureshock to AJ and a headbutt to Orton but the Claymore is cut off with a dropkick. They all head outside with Orton hitting Drew in the face to knock him silly before staring AJ down. Back in and AJ catches Orton with a hanging DDT but Orton blocks an RKO (that’s weird to say). Another attempt is countered….and that means a Styles Clash to AJ for a close two. AJ is back up but walks into the RKO, only to get Claymored by Drew, who pins Orton for the win at 10:22.

Rating: C+. This was a weird setup where they were trying to do two things at once: advance AJ vs. Orton and make Drew seem like more of a threat. That was a little hard to do in a match that has nothing to do with winning the Royal Rumble but it was good for him to get this kind of a win. The Styles Clash to AJ was a great touch and I’m curious to see how they blow the thing off. Good match too, even with the triple threat formula.

We recap Big Show returning last week to help Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe against Seth Rollins and the AOP.

Rollins talks to the AOP about how you’re either with us or against us but no one can stop them. That includes Owens, Joe and Big Show in case that wasn’t clear. Rollins has done everything to make sure their destiny is intact and tonight, you will see what happens when you don’t embrace his vision.

Ricochet vs. Mojo Rawley

Ricochet starts fast with an anklescissors into a dropkick, allowing him to get in a little dancing for a bonus. Mojo gets thrown outside and that means a big flip dive as the announcers talk about what that would mean in the Royal Rumble. Back in and Mojo hits a quick Pounce for two, followed by a corner splash to make it worse. The Alabama Slam out of the corner is blocked though and Ricochet kicks him in the head, setting up the Recoil. Ricochet hits the 630 for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: C-. Rawley is still someone who I’d like to see a bit more from but he was just a warm body for Ricochet to pin here. That’s all well and good too as Ricochet is one of the brightest stars around. I could go for seeing him get a big run in the Rumble, though there is no way he’s getting close to the main event because he’s never been in the main event before so we can’t put him there for the first time.

The Street Profits are excited about what is coming for the rest of the of the night, but Dawkins is too concerned with his Oscar ballot. Ford: “WOW! An important pop culture reference!” For now though, ring Charlotte’s music.

Charlotte vs. Sarah Logan

Fallout (not a rematch since the bell never rang) from last week when Sarah jumped Charlotte and attacked her robe. Charlotte kicks her in the face at the bell and Logan is already on the floor for a breather as Lawler recites nursery rhymes. Charlotte follows her outside for some chops so Logan hammers away at the ribs. The rather slow paced count continues as they keep brawling but they dive back in at nine. That works for Charlotte, who sends her into the buckle and slaps on the Figure Eight for the pin at 2:04. Just give Charlotte the Rumble already, unless there’s a heck of a surprise in the works.

Post match Charlotte puts on her robe and leaves but comes back to throw Logan over the top in a nice touch.

Samoa Joe and Kevin Owens are looking forward to the Fist Fight. Big Show comes in and says it’s time to reintroduce Seth Rollins to his fist.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar, with Heyman making fun of the crowd. Heyman: “Ladies and gentlemen and things that live in Kentucky….” The fans then cheer his introduction so Heyman calls them stupid for not getting the idea. Now it’s a YOU SUCK chant so the two of them walk to the ramp and think about leaving. Heyman: “My client DOES NOT suck!” They get back in the ring so Heyman can recap the fact that Lesnar is in the Royal Rumble and entering #1, though it takes some shouting to get over the fans booing him out of the building.

Heyman talks about the new Streak in WWE, which is different from the one that Brock Lesnar broke. This Streak is made up of his spoilers, like the one where he says Brock will win the Royal Rumble despite entering at #1. The spoilers will set you free because they are truth….and here’s R-Truth to interrupt. He’s heard about the big man being in the Rumble and just like his childhood hero John Cena taught him, he’ll never give up. That’s why at the Royal Rumble, he’s throwing Paul Heyman over the top.

Paul is stunned and Lesnar is DONE, laughing his head off and not being able to look at Truth. That doesn’t stop Truth from talking about how he’ll get rid of Heyman, who calls Truth “Bong Hit” and says Brock is the one in the Rumble. Truth unenters the Rumble and says it’s hard to keep track of what Heyman says because “you talk a lot”. Brock can barely stand up straight from the laughter and even Heyman can’t calm him down.

Truth says he doesn’t want to be taken to Sioux Falls City. Heyman: “IT’S SUPLEX CITY! SUPLEX CITY! SUPLEX CITY! YOU’RE NOT FUNNY!” Brock gets in Truth’s face so Truth asks what’s up and starts dancing, only to get taken down by a clothesline. The F5 leaves Truth laying and Brock picks up the 24/7 Title, which he throws back at Truth. Brock: “That’s what’s up.” This was hysterical, even if it added nothing. Seeing Brock not being able to control himself was a special feeling and I can’t blame him as Truth was great here, as always.

Post break Truth is being helped to the back so here’s Mojo Rawley to pin him and steal the title.

Earlier tonight, Lana and Bobby Lashley arrived. They’re not happy with being asked about the wedding and we see some highlights. Lana understands that everyone is jealous of them because they’re so amazing. They’ve made some New Year’s Resolutions: accept that everyone is jealous of them and CRUSH RUSEV.

Bobby Lashley vs. Rusev

They go straight into the brawl and Rusev gets two off a spinwheel kick. Lashley is right back with right hands in the corner but a suplex gets Rusev out of trouble. Some kicks to the back and another suplex have Lashley down, and the Cannonball gets two. A thumb to the eye and a running clothesline put Rusev on the floor though and a spear takes us to a break.

Back with Rusev fighting out of a chinlock but getting kicked in the knee to cut that off in a hurry. Rusev kicks his way out of trouble and hits a Samoa drop. Lashley’s German suplex is no sold and it’s the jumping superkick to put Lashley down. Lana offers a distraction though and Lashley gets in a cheap shot.

Cue Liv Morgan to go after Lana and threaten to rip the wig off her hair, among other insults that we can’t make out due to rapid fire camera cuts. Lana steals a drink from a fan to throw in her face and send her into the barricade, leaving Lashley to hit the spear and finish Rusev at 14:22.

Rating: C-. This felt a lot shorter than it was and the match wasn’t all that good. That’s a big part of the feud as we are not in the fifth month and we have only seen two matches. Neither of them have been very good either, and now we are likely setting up a mixed tag with the men needing to take care of the not very good women. How is this supposed to be an upgrade?

Post match Lana rants about how no one mistreats her because she’s a supermodel, a fashionista, a fashionista and a celebrity. Therefore, next week it’s a mixed tag, with Lashley not exactly being happy with needing to take care of Rusev and Lana at the same time.

Here are the Viking Raiders to issue an open challenge because they want to fight.

Viking Raiders vs. ???

Non-title, Open Challenge, Singh Brothers, Viking Experience, 38 seconds. That’s still too much Singh Brothers.

Rusev and Liv accept, with Liv saying she is the “living embodiment of karma and karma isn’t a goddess.” NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS! And they’re never going to go into what could have been an interesting story with Liv and Lana are they?

Here’s Becky Lynch to sign the contract for her Royal Rumble title defense against Asuka. Before Asuka comes out, Lynch can’t manage to say anything, which is rather out of character for her. Asuka comes out with Kairi Sane and rants in Japanese. Kairi messes with Becky with the umbrella so Becky throws it out in an emotional outburst.

Asuka, looking bored, signs and Becky, with a heavy sigh, does as well. Becky says may the best woman win and takes the mist to the face as Asuka laughs a lot and leaves with Sane. Replays show that it hit her square in the eyes too. The medics come out and work on Becky’s eyes as she screams in pain.

She demands a microphone though and talks about how the money and the fame are poison to people who fight for a living and her veins are full of it. Asuka has brought out something in her and she is coming to the Rumble to fight. If she goes down, she is going down swinging and taking Asuka with her. This was the fired up promo that Becky can deliver very well and I really, really want to see this match.

We look back at Andrade retaining the United States Title over Rey Mysterio and stealing Mysterio’s mask, only to have Rey snap and take it back later in the night.

Next week: Andrade defends against Mysterio in a ladder match.

Zelina Vega talks about how Andrade was man enough to take the title from Mysterio and then beat him again last week. Then Andrade was man enough to take Rey’s mask but Rey had to attack and steal the title from them. That’s why they have filed a criminal complaint against him and why Mysterio is a horrible example to Latinos everywhere. Andrade promise to defeat Mysterio again and then rants in Spanish about keeping his title.

Mysterio talks about representing Latinos with all of his heart. He’s coming for the title next week and will give it everything he has because he’s fighting for respect as well.

Video on Aleister Black vs. Buddy Murphy.

Buddy Murphy vs. Aleister Black

They go straight for the strikes until Black just glares at him. The threat of Black Mass sends Murphy to the floor and they brawl against the barricade. Black gets the better of it and they fight up the aisle with Lawler talking about various opponents he just could not beat over the years. Black gets slammed hard onto the ramp but Murphy is smart (I think?) enough to break up the count.

Another kick to the leg knocks Murphy off the barricade though and they head back inside for the first time in a good while. Back in and Black gets sent into the post, setting up a suplex to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Black hitting a running knee to send Murphy into the timekeeper’s area. They get back in with the fans finding it awesome as Black strikes away.

Neither Black Mass nor Murphy’s Law can connect though so Murphy sends him outside again, only to have Black slide back in for a running knee to the face. Murphy hits a kick to the head though and drops Black off the top. He spends too much time on top though and gets kicked out to the floor for the massive crash. Black crashes to the floor also though and we need a bit of a breather.

They both crawl back in to beat the count and the slugout is on again. Black gets the better of it again by kicking him in the head, only to get superkicked out of the air on a moonsault attempt. Murphy’s Law connects for two as Black puts his foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Murphy tries his own Black Mass, only to get caught with the real thing. That’s only good for two, due to what seems to be a ridiculous complaint from the referee about a shoulder being up. That’s fine with Black, who hits a second for the pin at 13:48.

Rating: B. These two have awesome chemistry together and I could watch Black strike away for days. Murphy has been excellent as well as he tries to figure out a way to stop the monster that is Black. They have found a nice feud here and even though Buddy has lost three times in a row, he has moved forward and away from 205 Live so it’s a step in the right direction.

Erick Rowan vs. ???

Murphy is still sitting at ringside and says not now on the questions. Rowan throws him outside and then into the barricade but it’s time to look into the cage. Rowan even reaches inside, only to be bitten to draw some blood. That’s not cool with Rowan, who takes it out on the jobber. The Iron Claw finishes at 1:32.

Big Show/Kevin Owens/Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins/AOP

Fist Fight, meaning anything goes and the only way to win is for the referee to say your team can’t continue. The AOP and Rollins jump Show during his entrance so here are Owens and Joe with kendo sticks for the save. The fight is on and it’s Show and Rollins in the ring while the other four fight by the entrance.

Show chops Rollins against the barricade but Rollins manages a posting. Owens one ups that by running up the curved set and flip diving onto the AOP on the floor (very cool moment). Joe dives off the ramp onto Akam and everyone is down again. Rollins is sent outside and finds the still seated Murphy, who he begs for help.

That’s just what happens, as Murphy gets in and hits Show low, allowing the two of them to put Show through a table in the corner. Joe and Owens are sent through the announcers’ table for the huge crash and now it’s time to surround Show. The AOP powerbomb Show and it’s the Stomp to make the referee end it at 5:17.

Rating: D+. The angle with Murphy was the point of course and that’s the right way to go. Rollins as the Monday Night Messiah is interesting and having him get some followers is a good idea. What matters most here though is getting someone fresh on a higher level and that includes Murphy. I don’t know if he’s the big solution, but you have to upgrade someone at some point and they tried it here. The surprise was better in person as Murphy wasn’t shown on the big screen, or at least not shown for more than a split second, so it was an even bigger surprise.

Post match Rollins hugs the AOP and then Murphy to end the show. Nothing happened after the show went off the air.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show dedicated to moving things forward but at the same time they had some pretty good wrestling to go with it. The deal at the end with Murphy helped more than anything else and it was a show that helped get things ready for the Rumble. Throw in Lesnar dying of laughter as he couldn’t handle Truth’s antics and I had a rather good time with the show. Maybe part of it was being there live, but I had fun with this one.

Results

Drew McIntyre b. AJ Styles and Randy Orton – Claymore to Orton

Ricochet b. Mojo Rawley – 630

Charlotte b. Sarah Logan – Figure Eight

Bobby Lashley b. Rusev – Spear

Viking Raiders b. Singh Brothers – Viking Experience to Samir

Aleister Black b. Buddy Murphy – Black Mass

Erick Rowan b. ??? – Iron Claw

Seth Rollins/AOP b. Big Show/Kevin Owens/Samoa Joe via knockout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

I’m picking these using a random number generator and I didn’t intend for two of the biggest ones to be included on the first day. This might be the most important award of all and there were a lot of names to pick from this year. You really could go in a lot of directions with this one and that makes things all the more fascinating.

Adam Cole

Sometimes, you look at a wrestler and just see “it”. That’s not the easiest concept to define, but it’s something that you either have or you don’t. Adam Cole has it and he has a lot of it. There’s something about him that just screams STAR, which is impressive considering his not incredibly impressive physique (look back at his Ring of Honor days and see if you can find his biceps).

What you get from Cole is the complete package. He has a rather punchable face, some great promos and some even better matches. This was a year where Cole reached the top of the mountain in NXT and that isn’t something that people reach easily. It’s a big deal to make it there and it’s going to be a big deal when someone beats him. Cole has his reputation for a reason and that isn’t going to change anytime soon.

Kofi Kingston

Kofi is a weird case as he had the biggest and most successful career of his life (don’t forget a pair of Tag Team Title reigns to go along with the World Title) but….he’s always been this good. I can’t think of a single bad match Kofi has had in years. He’s been one of the top merchandise sellers for a long time now because of New Day and he’s going to be in the Hall of Fame both on his own and as part of the team. That’s an amazing run and this was the crowning achievement.

That being said, it was more a year of him finally getting a chance than him elevating himself that much more. It’s part of the curse of being that good: how much better can you really get? Kingston has been one of my favorites for a long time now and he’s FINALLY had his big moment and career day. Yeah he’s one of the best in the world, but how is that different than most years?

Seth Rollins

Now I know this one is going to get some people annoyed, but Rollins had one of the best years in a long time. You don’t beat Brock Lesnar twice in a single year and not get some praise for it and that’s what he did here. The problem though is how far Raw fell with him on top and that isn’t something that is going to go away.

I know Rollins is one of the best in the world once the bell rings, but there isn’t much to him as a face. When one of your biggest stories of the year was the fact that your girlfriend is a top star, your career is kind of in trouble, even if you are World Champion. Rollins is someone who can do all kinds of things, but being the top star does not seem to be one of them. It was a bad year for Raw and Rollins was on top for a lot of it, which isn’t a good thing.

Shayne Baszler

NXT deserves some attention here and Baszler was one of their best. There is something great to be said about being the wrestler who surprises you every single time by leaving as champion, especially when you’re sure it’s her time to lose. However, the catch with Baszler is that she always seemed to deserve to retain the title because she was that good. How many people can say that?

The thing that strikes me the most about Shayna is the fact that she is STILL down in NXT (though I’d be surprised if she isn’t in the Rumble). It says a lot that she has been one of its top stars during its breakout year and that is worthy of a lot of attention. She is learning how to command a ring and an audience and even though she may be older than a lot of the roster, she has a lot of things that they don’t and that was on display this year.

Chris Jericho

After TLC II at Wrestlemania XVII, Jim Ross said something like “just when you think these six men couldn’t raise the bar any more, they did it.” That’s how I feel about Jericho. How many times do you believe that he has to be done, only to see him reinvent himself AGAIN? It’s an amazing thing to see and he has done it again with Le Champion and the Little Bit Of The Bubbly stuff. It’s uncanny at this point and he just keeps doing it.

Jericho has put AEW on his back and carried them as far as they have gone so far. He’s easily the biggest star in the whole company and someone who feels important every single time he’s on screen. You don’t do that at his age and he’s making it look easy, because he really is that great. Jericho has earned this and when you throw in his stuff with New Japan, it’s even more impressive.

Daniel Bryan

I was lucky enough to be at Wrestlemania XXX when Bryan won the WWE Championship in one of the all time great moments. It’s one of the coolest things that you’ll ever see in wrestling as Bryan was the ultimate underdog and pulled off the miracle (not on Bourbon Street Cole, though it sounded great). That being said, he’s a better heel than face and that was on display in 2019.

Bryan turned into Captain Planet with Erick Rowan in one of the most bizarre yet oddly perfect teams in years and wound up tearing the house down most nights. Those promos he had are some of the best you’ll see all year, like having a hemp title so that a cow named Daisy didn’t have to suffer. That was one of those lines that made me wonder if it came to him in a dream because no human should be able to come up with it. This was a great year for Bryan as he showed how versatile he really is.

Becky Lynch

This is one where if it was done by PWI rules (as in July to June), Lynch would win in a heartbeat. The problem though is she cooled off a good bit down the stretch due to running out of people to face. I know that’s a weird complaint to make because she was that good, but other than Asuka now, who is supposed to be seen as a real threat to her (other than Charlotte, who she never needs to face again)?

That being said, the first half of her year included the biggest match in the history of women’s wrestling and a legitimate milestone/game changer moment. That’s something that no one is ever going to be able to take away from her and she deserves all of the praise and accolades that she gets from it. Wrestlemania made her a legend, but there were other things going on that year.

And now, for one of the biggest surprises of the year as the winner.

Bray Wyatt

Character means a lot in wrestling and sweet goodness did Wyatt have it in spades this year. The Firefly Fun House started off as some kooky idea from Wyatt and turned into absolute must see TV every single week. At first everything was a bunch of fun and games (literally in some cases) but then we heard about someone called….The Fiend. It was time to be off to the races.

One day we got to see the Fiend in person and while it was Wyatt in a mask, this felt different. Above all else, Wyatt felt like a different person and someone who was genuinely scary. I got to see him in person a few times and the crowd went quiet when he appeared. Not quiet in a boredom kind of way, but quiet in a “what are we seeing” kind of way. I’ve only heard of that from one person before and that’s the Undertaker. That’s as solid of a compliment as you can get and it worked every time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Yeah we had to get to this one too, even though it is the kind of thing that rarely ends well. In this case we have a few choices to pick from and believe it or not, one of them has to do with Saudi Arabia. Other than that it’s likely going to be about one show, but that’s the case with this one more often than not.

Super Showdown

We’ll start off in Saudi Arabia as they’re already recycling a name from another (and much better) show. This one was built around the idea of Goldberg vs. Undertaker in a match that might have been really good twenty years ago, but they did have a solid segment building things up. The aura was there, but that’s about as far as I can go with the positives.

Here’s the thing: I can give Goldberg vs. Undertaker all the slack in the world for one simple reason: Goldberg was hurt and basically out on his feet. Yes it was bad but it was bad because of an injury, and that’s a different story entirely. What isn’t a different story is Randy Orton vs. HHH, Seth Rollins defending against Baron Corbin and Kofi Kingston defending against Dolph Ziggler. Outside of the dream match main event, this show felt thrown together with every rematch they could think of and those matches were awful. Terrible show here, with the least amount of effort possible.

Royal Rumble

Really, this wasn’t a bad show but I needed more than two nominees for the whole thing. As tends to be the case with the bigger shows, this was too long and needed to be trimmed down by a good bit. I know it’s cool to have the Women’s Royal Rumble but at the same time, there is only so much that can be done with such a long show. If you’re going to have two matches go an hour, you really can’t put much else on the show other than maybe three other matches. Since it’s WWE, this one had SEVEN more, only one of which was less than twelve minutes long.

That’s where the whole thing falls apart: it’s way too long and the Rumble winners are hardly memorable. You can probably chalk that up to booking, but having two Rumbles on the same day makes the match, as in the point of the show, feel a lot less important. I’m really not a fan of this and I don’t see it getting any better in 2020. That’s quite the shame, but WWE tends to be able to mess up their best things by making them too long.

Ok you know what’s winning so let’s get it over with.

Hell In A Cell

What is there even to say about this? A majority of the card was made less than three days before the show, with multiple matches being added on Sunday. It felt like this show didn’t matter to the company and the fans who paid to see it were wasting their money in one way or another. If WWE doesn’t care about the match, why in the world should the people paying their money to see it? Now normally that’s as bad of a reaction as you can get, but in this case there’s something a lot worse.

The Cell has been around for over twenty years and is one of WWE’s true aces. Even in the PG Era, the match still has a certain mystique and aura around it. That was thrown away for the sake of….what even was the point anyway? WWE put the title on the Fiend THE SAME MONTH but for some reason they needed to have him lose (because a referee stoppage is a loss) here in one of his first major matches.

It’s not like it was some fluke either. Rollins beat the fire out of him for the whole match and then it was stopped with Rollins winning. Yeah Fiend got up, but the damage was done. This was horrible and capped off one of the worst shows of all time from any company, let alone just in 2019.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

We might as well get one of the bigger ones out of the way. Wrestling is a lot of things but at the end of the day, it revolves around what happens in the ring. You can do all the promos and segments you want, but somewhere in there you have to have a big match (don’t tell Vince Russo). That was the case in a lot of places this year and some of them were outstanding.

WWE Championship: Men’s Elimination Chamber

I’m putting this one first because a good chunk of the match doesn’t matter. It wasn’t until it became clear that Kofi Kingston could actually pull this off that it got really, REALLY good, with one of the best sections of a match I’ve seen WWE put together in years. This was different than Kingston just being the last victim.

There was a feeling that Kofi could win and all of a sudden, you began to realize how much you wanted to see him actually be WWE Champion. The big thing was how real the whole possibility felt and that isn’t something you get more often than not. I bought into more than one of these near falls and by the end of it, I was spent, which is as big of a success as you can get.

Men’s Survivor Series

This is another one where the atmosphere helped things out incredibly well and I was wondering how it was going to end (granted me being in the audience that day helped a lot). This was the triple threat format with NXT included and that was what everyone wanted to see. I downgrade this one a bit due to some of the booking choices (Walter being eliminated in two minutes was inexcusable) but the end with Lee pinning Rollins and then having the showdown with Reigns was top notch.

What mattered here was how big it felt. I wasn’t sure who was going to win this and they gave it enough time to build things up rather than rushing through everything. It’s what I wanted from a Survivor Series match and the reason I had been trying to go to a show for so many years. Couple that with Lee getting the clean pin on Rollins and this was a joy to watch.

United Kingdom Title: Pete Dunne vs. Walter (Takeover: New York)

We’ll still with NXT for a match that you knew you wanted to see from the second Walter debuted at Takeover: Blackpool. Dunne’s title reign seemed like it would never end because no one could actually beat him. That’s where Walter came in, as it became a question of who could possibly defeat Dunne after everyone else had failed. That’s a heck of an atmosphere and they set it up to perfection.

Then there was the actual match and sweet goodness what a fight. This was Dunne going out on his shield as Walter just could not be stopped. They beat the fire out of each other and it nearly stole the weekend, with some of the hardest hitting shots you’ll ever see. It became a question of who could survive and ultimately Walter took the title in an instant classic. Incredible stuff, as British Strong Style tends to be.

WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston (Wrestlemania XXXV)

And now we have a sequel to the Elimination Chamber. This is a great example of what putting in the effort over the years can get you. Kingston had been in WWE since 2006 and somehow had never had a one on one match for the WWE Championship. It was very similar to the Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton feeling at the 2008 Royal Rumble and now we were finally getting the chance. It felt special and that’s what it wound up being.

What mattered here was the very end. It wasn’t clear until Kingston actually won that he might pull it off, because it was hard to believe that they would actually pull the trigger. After Kingston won the title though, the magic really began. New Day unveiled the classic title and Kofi’s kids came in to celebrate with him. You don’t get a special feeling like that very often but when it’s real, you can feel it. That’s what Kofi gave us and it was one of the best in years.

NXT Title: Johnny Gargano vs. Adam Cole (Takeover: New York

Dang it was a great Wrestlemania weekend. This one was both a case of what might have been and a case of what we wound up getting. There isn’t much of a secret that this was supposed to be the final blowoff between Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa’s all time classic feud, but alas Ciampa’s neck flared up and he had to be pulled. This is what we got instead and it happened to be great.

What we got was a heck of a fight with both guys making you believe that they could win at any given time. Some of the near falls were outstanding and while there were times where it went beyond the realm of being believable, it was the kind of moment that everyone had been waiting to see. Gargano FINALLY won the title that he had been chasing for years and it came after a great match.

So we have emotion and great action, but not both at a high level throughout. This changes that.

United Kingdom Title: Walter vs. Tyler Bate (Takeover: Cardiff)

I was excited for this one coming in after seeing the two of them tear the house down at a Progress show the year before. What we had here was a David vs. Goliath story with the much smaller (yet incredibly strong) Bate fighting the unstoppable monster. They took that simple story and knocked it out of the park with one of the best fights I’ve seen in a long time.

What made this work was how they made Walter look desperate. Walter comes off as someone who never gets shaken but this time around he could not finish Bate no matter what he did. The fans got behind Bate because he would not stay down until Walter FINALLY hit him with everything he had in a heck of a clothesline to retain the title. There was something so raw about Walter just having to unload on him like that to win and it was a great moment to end the Match of the Year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6