Summerslam 1992
Date: August 29, 1992 (aired on PPV August 31, 1992)
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

We’re a year removed from the nearly complete and utter crap that was Summerslam 1991. After Warrior was fired, he was back a mere 6 months later to save Hogan from getting beaten up by Sid. After a feud with Papa Shango, he was given a world title match at Summerslam against Macho. However, Flair and Perfect were still mad that Flair had never gotten his title match, so they’ve injected themselves into this.

The story goes like this: Flair says that they’ll be in the corner of one guy, but they won’t say whom. Both Savage and Warrior think someone is going to turn and the fans bought into it completely. Even I thought someone was going to turn. That’s main event #1. #2, and the real main event, was Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith for the IC Belt. This had another great storyline attached to it as Smith’s wife was Bret’s sister.

The angel was that she couldn’t decide whom to cheer for, which makes sense as who are you supposed to side with in a match like that? There’s no right or wrong answer and she eventually went with she hoped no one got hurt. That match is considered by many to be the greatest match of all time.

Now I’m not sure if I’d go that far, but it’s way up there. However, that’s more or less the only match most people remember from the show. This was the first PPV in a country other than the US or Canada, so let’s see how the first truly international show is.

So yeah, screw this up and had written all the way up to the start of Warrior/Savage and the computer died, ending my file which is going to have to be redone. I’m a bit ticked off about that. Actually I’m a lot ticked off about that. Let’s get this freaking thing going…again.

We open the show outside for no apparent reason as we hear the opinions of the fans of whose corner Perfect would be in. Dang some of these people are hard to understand. Learn English people. One of the kids says Bulldog is going to win, whether he wants to or not. Uh, I’m not the smartest wrestling fan in the world, but wouldn’t you want to win every match you’re in?

We hear some horns playing and more random shots of London before going to the stadium. The only thing I can say: DANG! This place looks awesome as the whole place is full and it’s second only to WM 3 as far as I can remember. Heenan is wearing a crown of course. Vince says this is the Summerslam you thought you’d never see.

I know 91 sucked but were they not planning on having another one after it? Were there issues in the company that I just didn’t recall? That’s Vince for you though as he rarely made sense. I have three dark matches on my tape, so let’s get to them.

Jim Duggan/Bushwackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Matches like these, which are usually not shown on official releases, are always cool to see because they’re unique. Not to mention it’s bonus wrestling so how can it be a bad thing? Mountie’s music is just nothing short of great. He sings it on the way to the ring, adding in commentary to it as he goes. That’s either brilliant or stupid. Heenan makes a Michael Jackson reference.

This is being written for the second time on the 4th of July, ten days after his death, and it still is hard to comprehend that the King of Pop is dead. Heenan goes on to say that New Zealand is a suburb of London as Shadow is face palming. For some reason Duggan, one of the biggest patriots in wrestling history, is cheered. Only a British crowd would chant USA in London for a team mainly made of people from New Zealand.

Both teams try to get cheers from the crowd in a bit of a contest to start. After two of these we get going. I always loved the Bushwackers, mainly because one of them, I believe Luke, licked me at a house show when I was 3-4 years old. Bobby is on fire here with the jokes. This is following a very simple formula: little wrestling, little brawling, lather rinse and repeat. The heels take over or it wouldn’t be a traditional tag match.

As this happens, the fans chant Butch. There’s a bunch of jokes there but I’d get banned for them. The Wackers use their battering ram on a pile of the guys in the corner, bringing forth the really bad Earl of Sandwich jokes from Vince. The bias from Vince is just flat out sad as he cheers when faces cheat and claims it’s horrid when heels do it. I get that he’s a face commentator but this is boarder line Gorilla Monsoon territory.

In a bit of a weird spot, Knobbs and Mountie lock hands for a double clothesline but instead use a boot to the stomach. Just looked odd to me. The announcers argue over the rules again and Heenan asks what’s in Vince’s book? That’s a very interesting idea actually. Can you imagine what a real Vince McMahon autobiography, as in not a WWE-PG one would be like? Some of the stories in there would be insane.

Duggan comes in and amazingly enough we get a big brawl. I think they botch the spot at the end again here as Duggan is set for the three point clothesline but Mountie doesn’t get up. Duggan goes to pick him up but Mountie gets up on his own and Duggan gets back in position, so maybe he was just late. Sags misses a top rope elbow onto Mountie to end it as Duggan gets the pin.

Rating: B. This was perfect for an opening dark match. It wasn’t serious in the slightest and was there to do nothing but get the crowd into the show. That’s just fine and it worked perfectly. Nothing great, but to open the action for a major PPV, this was just fine.

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Now with Shango you have someone that absolutely scared the living tar out of me. He was the voodoo guy and he actually beat up the Warrior. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Their blowoff match was in Rupp Arena so I was likely there for it. Shango was coming off a huge program with Warrior and they weren’t sure what to do with him at the moment as is evidenced here with him in a dark match.

Santana was in his El Matador gimmick at the time which was the height of stupidity. These two might add up to being the dumbest collection of gimmicks in one place at one time until being eclipsed by the gimmick battle royal. Santana was a guy a lot like Finlay or Regal today in that he could have a very solid match with just about anyone. Since he can do that, why would you ever get rid of him?

That’s what Vince realized so even once Tito was no longer a major player, you could still put him into a program and get a solid performance that you could depend on out of him. That’s a great asset to have and will almost always guarantee you at least employment. Santana gets NO reaction at all. They go back and forth for a bit, but Shango more or less no sells the big forearm, meaning that the move that nearly knocked Savage out isn’t good enough to get a two on a guy like Shango.

The ideas around finishing moves apparently depend on your place on the card which has always seemed bogus to me. He’s rocking the pink boots here, offering further proof that only Bret Hart can pull that off.

Now he hits another forearm and it’s a move of death, so thanks for the continuity there guys. I watch this match and the idea of how absurd Shango’s character is begins to dawn on me. A voodoo medicine man is supposed to have tights, wrist tape, weigh in and have boots? Anyway, he hits what has to be the worst finishing move possible: the shoulder breaker, to pin Santana.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was bad. It just never felt like it got going at all. Shango just didn’t know how to make a match work and with the shoulder breaker, he looked absurd out there. A character like his could have worked very well, but he just didn’t get the way the thought process should have been going at all.

Tatanka vs. Berserker

If you recall what I said about two gimmicks never being more absurd, forget it. These two are miles beyond what the last match had to offer. Tatanka is the Native American and Berserker is a Viking that wants to stab people. I say this with all sincerity: I wonder how many people there had no clue what Tatanka was. Apparently quite a few as he gets a big pop.

I think this match was actually filmed after the show as it’s completely dark except for the lights now, as opposed to the previous matches where sunlight could have lit the arena. For no good reason at all, Tatanka beats him up for the opening of this match. In the only interesting thing you’ll hear from Vince all night, Tatanka means Raging Buffalo. The structure to the ring is kind of weird as there’s the aisle and then some steps to get to what we would call the outside.

I kind of like that, but it’s similar to the setup that caused the end of Rick Rude’s career. They fight on the floor and the racial stereotype takes Berserker down the mini stairs to slam him and then comes back up them. After that waste of time it’s more stereotyping as the Papoose To Go ends it. I wonder if I can get a Papoose for eating in?

Rating: C. It was better than the previous match but that’s really not saying a lot. There was just a weird flow to this match and while it wasn’t horrid, it certainly wasn’t something you wanted to see more of.

Now it’s time for the real show as we get a very standard yet good early 90s opening. In something I like we just go straight to the first match.

Money Inc. vs. LOD

This was in the middle of the interesting three way feud over the tag titles between these four and the champions, the Natural Disasters. Of course, that would all be thrown out the window so Hulk and Beefcake could fight the mega heels at Mania. Part of the reason that match wasn’t the LOD somehow was because of what you’re about to see here: Rocko the Dummy. Yes you read that right.

For some reason that only Vince would know, the LOD were given back their old manager Paul Ellering (which was fine, although it would have been nice for them to tell us who in the world he was as he was their manager in the NWA). The problem came with Ellering’s friend Rocko. Rocko was a ventriloquist dummy. There was nothing more to it than that. He was a wooden dummy that the manager would bring with him and he would talk in the promos.

At least with Head and Al Snow it was a joke. This was with a serious tag team. Hawk got sick of it and quit very soon, maybe even at this show but I’m not sure. Anyway, the intro for the LOD is sweet as all three come in on Harleys. That’s actually really awesome looking, aside from the dummy being on the fornt of the first bike.

As if that’s not enough, Paul carries the stupid thing around at the ring. No wonder Hawk quit over this nonsense. Vince says that the LOD are known for being strong and for their great psychology. Excuse me for one second.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

LOD having freaking PSYCHOLOGY??? WOW, and I thought the people that want Kane to remask were imbeciles. They hit people hard. That’s their psychology I supposed. Yeah, that’s just a freaking joke all around. After I laugh very hard at that, I come to a screeching halt as I see something that’s just an ungodly abomination upon mankind.

Ted DiBiase, the Million Dollar Man, to me the greatest heel of all time, is wearing WHITE TIGHTS!!! WHAT IN THE HECKIS THIS NONSENSE??? DIBIASE, A HEEL, DOES NOT WEAR WHITE!!! EVER SINCE HE DEBUTED IT’S BEEN BLACK WITH DOLLAR SIGNS, BUT NOW HE’S WEARING WHITE??? THAT JUST DOES NOT WORK!!! After about three minutes of frustration, I think I’m ok now.

After Hawk beats him up for a minute (absolutely right he should get beaten up) both tag, as Vince says Animal will now start the match for his team. Riiiiiight. The LOD get beaten up with sleepers and a slam on the floor by white tights Magee over there. Not only that but his kneepads are long so it looks like he’s wearing stripper boots. Hart is yelling at Paul about the puppet on the floor which shows that Hart is always thinking out there.

He’s a bit annoying but the guy has always been around and always works as hard as he could. The heels dominate much of this which makes perfect sense here as they’re the thinking wrestlers and all they had to do was wait for LOD to make a mistake. Wow both the heels are over 260? That’s a big surprising.

Eventually Animal gets tagged in and the LOD starts throwing Money Inc. all over the ring. The ending comes out of almost nowhere as they get DiBiase up but IRS dropkicks Animal so he drops him. DiBiase gets powerslammed and pinned to end it. Just a very abrupt ending.

Rating: C+. Certainly not a bad match, but it just didn’t have any flow and while it was a 12 minute match, it felt like about 5. DiBiase’s tights are something I just can’t let go as it’s the dumbest thing I’ve seen in a long time. This just felt really fast and the ending looked odd to me. Not bad, but just didn’t work that well in my eyes.

In the back, Flair, in his wrestling attire despite not wrestling that night, which is a thread in and amongst itself, is with Gene. I really like this promo by Flair as Gene is demanding to know where Mr. Perfect is. He asks if Perfect is with Savage. Flair opens his mouth and then chuckles. He asks if Perfect is with Warrior.

Flair opens his mouth and then chuckles. Gene demands to know the whereabouts of Mr. Perfect. Flair says “why, he’s in the dressing room of course!” Whose dressing room? “Why, the dressing room of the winner of course. WHOO!” This comes off really well as Flair is just epic on the stick here.

We go over to Sean Mooney and Virgil, who is fighting Nailz tonight. More on Nailz later. Virgil is REALLY bad at promos. He shouts on weird words, he moves around too much, and I think he had 5 catchphrases inside of a 40 second promo. I feel sorry for the heat he gets though. I’ve heard stories of him being at wrestling conventions and autograph shows where he’ll sit at his table for 5 hours and maybe get 4 people that talk to him.

No he wasn’t ever a big star but he’s bigger than that. He’s wrestled at Wrestlemania and Starrcade, so it’s not like he’s never done anything of note. I’d certainly talk to him for awhile. Apparently he’s trying to get revenge for his best friend (WTF??) the Big Boss Man.

Nailz vs. Virgil

Nailz is a character that it’s very possible a lot of you don’t remember and that’s very understandable as he was on the roster less than a year. He had a great bit of psychology to him because he was supposed to be a convict that Boss Man had beaten up in prison for a crime that he didn’t commit. Therefore, Nailz had no training and only used punches, chokes and kicks etc. That makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

After a match Boss Man had with a jobber, Nailz ran out and beat up Boss Man, putting him out for about 5 months. This match is for Virgil to try to get some revenge for his buddy, and you can guess how this is going to go. Before we get to this match though, let’s go over how Nailz left the company because it’s a story unlike any you’ve ever heard. Nailz tried to kill Vince McMahon. I mean that literally, as in he was choking Vince and Vince was turning blue.

Nailz wanted money but Vince wouldn’t give it to him. Obviously, he was fired immediately thereafter. Nailz was also a guy at the steroids trial that was one of the big witnesses, but his testimony was so far over the top that it actually helped Vince out. Nailz was scheduled for a big feud with Taker as they were on the cover of the WWF magazine, had a staredown on Superstars and had some house show matches.

It’s saying a lot that he was being given Taker to work with and then all that other stuff happened. He was in WCW for all of a week, jobbing to Sting before he was out of the mainstream. Kind of sad as I always liked him.

As for the match, what are you expecting here? It’s a guy that needs wins to prove himself against a glorified jobber. Nailz dominates early but Virgil takes over, leading to the chokeout win. I know that’s really short but that’s the commentary for the whole match. It’s like 3 minutes long and there’s just nothing at all of note in it. Afterwards Nailz beats up Virgil with the stick.

Rating: C. This was really hard to grade so we’ll call it average I guess. It was a squash and it got the point it was trying to make. Virgil fights but loses while Nailz looks dominant, leading up to the return of the Boss Man and their blowoff match at the Survivor Series.

Alfred Hayes can’t get into Savage’s dressing room.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

There’s a very interesting pair of twists here. First of all, both guys are heels. Second, there’s an agreement not to hit each other in the face. That’s not something you hear very often. This is still the boy toy era for Shawn as he wasn’t a huge deal yet but was getting there. Sherri’s outfit has no back so she’s more or less in a thong which Vince notices IMMEDIATELY.

Martel cartwheels out of the way of a backdrop and does some jumping jacks. Shawn takes over for the most part early on and Martel is in trouble. And never mind as it’s more or less even. Shawn pulls back to throw a punch but stops. Martel is the de facto face here which is interesting as he was a pretty solid heel.

Shawn is down on the floor as Martel asks Sherri to come with him. They hug and Shawn doesn’t really see it. The cameraman keeps getting shots of Sherri’s back which isn’t that bad I guess. Both guys use the tights as it’s kind of interesting to see all of the heel vs. heel tactic. Also do you think that’s enough back shots in one match?

Sweet chin music hits the chest which makes sense here. Shawn hits a knee to the face and goes for the ropes with his feet but can’t reach them so the referee stops the count before he got there. In other words he’s not counting because they’re following the rules. Ok then. They start slapping each other and Sherri starts to freak.

They square off with fists up as Sherri “faints”. Dang she falls really well. Vince of course thinks she’s had a heart attack. Shawn DRILLS Martel when he tries to give her mouth to mouth. They slug it out in the aisle and it’s a double countout. Sherri gets up to see what’s going on and then pretends she’s out again.

Shawn comes back to carry her off as Vince and Heenan make jokes. Martel runs down and drills him, sending Sherri crashing to the floor. He picks her up and Shawn drills Martel, sending Sherri flying sprawling to the floor again. This is kind of funny as it’s coming off almost like a Weekend At Bernie’s thing which is meant as a good thing. Martel comes out and throws water on Sherri for no apparent reason.

Rating: B. I really liked this actually. It’s definitely a different kind of idea and it worked very well I thought. It’s not often you get a good heel vs. heel match but you certainly did here. This worked very well and the post match stuff was funny yet good at the same time. I liked this far more than I expected to and it worked well.

The Nasties say they’ll get their tag title shot, but for no reason at all they talk about the world title match. You see the beginnings of Jimmy’s jumping to Money Inc and the to his face turn.

Tag Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

I’m sure most of you know who the Natural Disasters are, but how many of you know who the Beverly Brothers are? I’m guessing not many of you, because I can fairly safely say that this is the highlight of the WWF run. I think their gimmick was being spoiled rich kids but that was never really explained. They were really just tag team jobbers and little more.

They were a huge deal in the AWA where they were the only tag team to win rookies of the year. They were gone in less than two years and no one noticed they were gone. Anyway, this is a standard tag with the Naturals dominating early but then the heels taking over as Heenan makes fat jokes. BREAKING NEWS: SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT WEMBLEY! Since Typhoon sucks more than Quake, he’s the face in peril.

A shot to the back with the metal scroll of the Genius has no effect which makes me wonder what the point of that was. Quake beats up the Beverly Brother so Typhoon is on his own and can make the tag. Naturally, the talented Disaster known as Earthquake kicks some Beverly faces in. A brief double team leads to the Earthquake to end this.

Rating: D+. The low rating is for one reason: there is a total and complete lack of drama in this. No one believed the Beverlys had a chance and they didn’t at all. It was a title match for a title match’s sake, which never turns out to be anything good. This was a waste of time, but I guess the match itself was fine.

Gene interviews the Bushwackers who want to talk about Perfect being in someone’s corner. Gene makes some dumb British jokes which aren’t funny.

Alfred Hayes can’t get in Warrior’s dressing room either.

Repo Man vs. Crush

Crush is once again a guy that could have been a big star but he never got a push that he needed. It’s a Demolition reunion here as Smash meets Crush. This is pure filler and nothing but a way to kill some time before the world title match. Repo’s offense is about 9 punches, a thumb to the eye, and a belly to back suplex. That’s it. Other than that, we get Crush using the head vice and dominating the whole thing. Boring and quick match which was just a filler, so how much can I complain?

Rating: C+. This was pure filler so what do you really expect from it? Crush looked dominant so he’ll be getting a bit better push. Oh wait he’s about to start feuding with Doink. Nevermind.

We hit the recap button on Warrior and Savage’s feud which is WAY too long. There’s two holes I see in this storyline. For one, Perfect tells both guys he’ll be in their corner. Ok, that’s fine, but couldn’t either guy put two and two together and get they’re being played? I guess that one’s forgivable though as either guy could have planned to lie to the other one.

However, the one thing I can’t get: if Perfect’s such a great manager, WHY IS THE GUY HE’S MANAGING NOT CHAMPION ALREADY? Since when did Perfect become this hot commodity all of a sudden? Savage’s line of “I’m the WWF Champion and you’re not!” is just great stuff.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Oh apparently it’s the Ullllllllllllllllllltimate Warrior according to Vince. Of course Perfect doesn’t come out with either guy at first to build even more suspense which is actually a good move. It’s twilight in London so the scene of the whole stadium is really cool looking. Huge staredown to start which shows off the point that Warrior is now wearing a flesh colored singlet. This was huge for the theory that Warrior was on steroids which he pretty much was a guaranteed user of.

The start of this is a style that I like as nearly the first ten minutes is almost completely back and forth work. Neither guy can get anything substantial going and they just hammer away on the other one, looking for an advantage. Savage is getting booed here so I guess he’s supposed to be the heel? Anyway, eventually he takes a slight advantage as he knocks Warrior to the floor.

They come back in and I guess Warrior botches a spot as Savage is trying to pull him into the turnbuckle but Warrior falls short. You can tell it was a botch as they do the exact same thing about two seconds later. In a weird spot that I kind of like, Savage hits the double axe but Warrior does his hulk up thing. The second takes him down, but he catches the third in a powerslam. Just kind of a weird looking sequence.

Anyway, Warrior takes control as we get a nice little story going of neither guy being able to get a definitive advantage going for them. Warrior hurts Savage’s back and Savage hurts Warrior’s neck. They slow it down now with Warrior having a slight advantage. This is a slower paced match which is fine, as it’s going longer so the slow page helps it a lot I think. After a minute or two of this, Perfect and Flair come down.

This is where I really wish they hadn’t been involved, as Warrior and Savage were putting on a great match so far that had me very interested in it. Warrior does something weird (stunning right?) as he slams Savage, goes to the apron, and turns right back around and comes into the ring. What the heck? He misses a splash which he sells like he got shot in the ribs. Vince freaks because Perfect hasn’t gone to either corner.

Since when are there designated corners for a singles match? Perfect pulls the leg of Savage as Warrior is instantly the heel. I know my jokes have been lacking here, but this has been a great match and it’s hard to make fun of something that you really like. I think Warrior has set a record for most body slams in one match. After another one he goes to the top which I guess was the spot he wanted to do earlier. Maybe he stopped because Perfect and Flair were coming.

That would make sense I guess. Oh the ref is down too. He gets up and Warrior argues with him, leading to a much bigger ref bump. Piledriver from Savage which looks awesome. This time Perfect holds Warrior as Flair hits him with, well I guess since we’re in England it’s a natural born object. Savage however doesn’t see it. After slam #38 the elbow hits but due to no referee, we get a two despite Savage pulling the tights which is acknowledged.

Hulk up by Warrior as he starts the sequence that ended Mania 7’s match. Perfect tries to grab his foot during the set up for the splash but Flair gets him with a chair to the back on the other side as everyone is sure Savage is the guy that bought Perfect’s services. Apparently the crack of a chair, Flair moving away suddenly, and the Warrior suddenly falling down on his face aren’t enough proof that he did anything for the referee.

There’s another very nice little touch to this as Savage hasn’t seen anything that Flair or Perfect have done. Earlier the piledriver could have put Warrior down for as long as Savage was helping the referee, but this time he knows he didn’t touch Warrior, so someone else must have. That’s a nice little touch to add to it. Savage is ticked off that someone is helping him, so no one knows what’s going on.

He sets for the elbow but can’t take the win that way, instead jumping at Flair, WHO HAS A CHAIR! The obvious happens and Savage jumps into the chair, knocking himself nearly out as I can barely believe how stupid that was. This leads to the fastest count out of all time in an ending that I’m really not wild about at all. Apparently the chair hit Savage in the knee as Flair and Perfect destroy Savage soon thereafter but Warrior makes the save.

This would lead to the injured knee of Savage that would eventually cost Savage the title to Flair on a match that is very hard to find. The announcers conclude that no one sold out, which is about as obvious as the statement that Vince is an imbecile at times. He goes on to say that both men are champions. Not really Vince, not really. Savage would lose the belt two days later, before one Hitman would win it about a month and a half afterwards.

Warrior hands him the belt and helps him to the back with the music playing as we go to Perfect and Flair in the back. Since this is integral to the match, I’ll lump them together. They say that the deal was made, but it was between Perfect and Flair. They mention Plan B but won’t say what it is. Spoiler: it’s getting the title back to Flair. Gene thinks this is earth shattering news when it’s really not.

Rating: A. The only thing keeping it from being an A+ is the lack of a definitive ending, which I guess was required to have Savage drop the belt two days later. Anyway, this was an excellent match as both guys beat the tar out of each other and neither really gave an inch.

It may not have been as epic as their Mania match, but it’s good on its own. Perfect and Flair added something to it and I’m very glad neither guy turned as it would have hurt the match in my mind. Great match, but somehow this isn’t the best match on the card.

Official Attendance: less than Mania 3 so who cares?

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Harvey Whippleman does Kamala’s intro, saying he’s from the dark continent of Africa. I was under the impression that there’s lots of sunlight in Africa, so is that a very sly racial joke? I was under the impression that Africans’ skin darkened as a natural defense to the amount of sunlight on that continent. Racial stereotypes rule I guess?

Anyway, this is really just a mini-feud for Taker before the Giant Gonzalez shows up, much like, oh I don’t know: THE SAME FREAKING THING THEY DID WITH DAIVARI, MARK HENRY, MUHAMMAD HASSAN AND KHALI??? Could that be it? Could it be that they just took the EXACT same stupid story and redid it, hoping that no one was watching 13 years ago? Yep, that’s exactly what they did.

I swear these jokes write themselves when you’re making fun of WWE’s writing. Kamala used to scare the HECK out of me when I was like 2 years old. The dude was just freaking creepy. He wants to cook Taker apparently. Taker comes to the ring in the back of a hearse that I think has a sunroof. Oh never mind he’s standing on the bumper. There’s a coffin in the hearse, which is foreshadowing the coffin match at Survivor Series in a month or two.

This is a very quick match and is only to fill in time between the two main events and let the crowd catch its breath for a bit. Taker absolutely destroys him and as he’s going for the tombstone, Kim Chee runs in and hits Taker with his helmet for the DQ. Kamala hits three splashes, including one from the top rope and Taker just sits up. Kamala runs, and we set up for the main event.

Rating: C. I think I’m going to start giving C’s to matches that are too short to grade. The problem is there’s just not enough time in a 3 minute match to tell whether its good or not. It did its job I guess which is to set up the big match next PPV and fill in time here, so I can’t complain I guess.

Mooney is with Davey Boy Smith, talking about the family pressures which was a nice touch that I think the match needed. He says that once they get into the ring, Bret isn’t his brother, but a stranger. Mooney says what will the pressure of wrestling in front of 80,000 people be like. “That’s not pressure. That’s a dream.” That line is either epic or clichéd. Not sure but I’m leaning towards the former.

Bret says that Smith wouldn’t be anything without Bret as Bret introduced Davey to his wife and got him started in the WWF. He says Smith is ungrateful and I am completely hyped for this match.

Some bagpipe players play Roddy Piper’s theme music, which is ALWAYS cool. Oh they’re the Balboa Highlanders. Piper is with them, and the marking out continues as he gets a huge pop. This is actually really cool looking as Piper gets a solo and isn’t half bad. Granted I know nothing about the bagpipes. They play Scotland the Brave, which is an awesome song so this is sweet.

Mooney is with Diana Smith, who says nothing that you wouldn’t expect her to say. Mooney rudely cuts her off and asks who she thinks will win. He cuts her off AGAIN as you can tell she really doesn’t want to do this, or she’s a great actress. Could be a combination of both as this actually isn’t that bad of an interview. She sounds really upset about this, which she should be. Mooney cuts her off a THIRD TIME to send us to ringside. Dang, Mooney was a jerk in this.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

Smith comes out first to the hero’s pop. Lennox Lewis carries the flag for him as a relative unknown at the time which is always cool. The pop for Smith is huge, while Bret gets the textbook definition of a mixed reaction. He’s not exactly a heel, but he’s certainly not the guy the crowd wants to win. As for the match, I’ll be brief about it. I’m sure you’ve all seen it, but if you haven’t, WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

This is an absolute classic and is in the running for greatest match of all time. While it seems that there’s no doubt who would win looking back, at the time, this was a huge upset. Smith had never really done anything of note but was getting the singles push for over a year leading up to this night. Everyone knew Hart was a god in the ring and this was the blowoff match to launch him into the main event scene where he would be for the rest of his career in the WWF.

I’m going to skip the play by play here as I can’t do it justice and go straight to the end of the match. It runs over twenty five minutes as opposed to the already forgotten near 30 minute masterpiece we saw earlier for the world title. Both guys are absolutely spent as this has been back and forth the whole time with Smith wrestling a different style than he usually did and throwing off Bret.

Bret is his traditional perfectly timed self with a balanced assault all around, mainly working on the back though to set up for the Sharpshooter. The crowd is hot the whole match as they pop over every single move. This is a match where it’s two guys doing any move they can think of instead of using the same standard stuff that they always use. Clothesline puts both guys down and Bret tries to do the same thing he did last year to Perfect to get the title in the first place.

Smith does something that’s allegedly never been done and gets to the ropes. Someone else might have done it before but I’m not sure. The announcers royally screw this up by making it sound like Bret had him in a headlock. Hart hits the ropes and goes for a sunset flip and Smith goes for the famous counter of dropping to his knees to get the pin and the title as the place erupts.

The music not playing lets things sink in a bit better as Bret can’t believe it. They announce Smith as the new champion to another epic pop. Bret gets up and eventually holds up Smith’s hand as Diana comes in and they all pose to end the show.

Rating: A+. This is one of the greatest matches of all time and is required viewing for anyone that calls themselves a wrestling fan. That’s all that needs to be said.

Hart would go on to win the WWF Title in October in a complete shock in Canada while Smith would really be a transitional champion, losing to Shawn in about two months to launch Shawn’s singles career. This match and title change was really just for the English fans, but dang, what a treat for them and the moment is certainly worth it.

Overall Rating: A+. This is a fantastic show and unless there’s something I’m completely missing, the best Summerslam ever. The only one that pops into my mind to even approach it would be 2002, but that’s way too far in the future to worry about. There’s two absolute classics along with some other very good stuff.

The fans went home happy, there was a huge crowd, and not really a single bad match as everything is at least watchable. The worst match is by far the tag title match, but even it’s not that bad. Excellent show and it gets my highest recommendation.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 21, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

We’re done with a decent enough Slammiversary and the big story is all of the new people around here. I’m not sure what that is going to mean going forward but they have enough momentum that having just a so so pay per view isn’t going to derail them. We have about four months before Bound For Glory so there is a lot to get through before then. Let’s get to it.

Here is Slammiversary if you need a recap.

EC3 tells us how we have been controlled for our whole lives, either by corporations, politicians, those that love us or someone else. Are we going to fight back? Control your narrative, like he is going to do. You have been warned.

New opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Willie Mack vs. Chris Bey

Bey is defending in a rematch from Slammiversary, which rarely works well for the former champion. Bey wastes no time in hitting a running dropkick in the corner before hammering away on the mat. Madison talks about losing on Saturday because she wanted to live a day in the life of Josh Matthews. Egads. Mack fights back with a right hand but gets sent throat first into the bottom rope.

That’s enough to send him to the floor but he pulls a slingshot dive out of the air and slams him down hard. Back in and Mack elbows away in the corner, only to miss a charge. Bey’s neckbreaker out of the corner gets two and we hit the chinlock. A double stomp to the back lets Bey rap a bit, only to miss a standing moonsault. Mack doesn’t like Bey trying his move and hits a pop up right hand. The Six Star misses though and the Art of Finesse retains the title at 5:35.

Rating: C. They kept this moving here and while it wasn’t great, the action was fast enough for a start. I’m not sure what is next for Mack, but losing twice in three days, including clean here, isn’t the best look for his future. Bey is quite good as well though and has several challengers lined up, all of whom could have some awesome matches with him.

Slammiversary recap/show preview. This includes saying that Rich Swann’s night turned into “the ultimate horror story.” Do you REALLY want to reference that show?

Here are the good brothers, with Karl Anderson getting in a Scott Hall “Hey yo.” Anderson: “I’ve always wanted to say that.” After talking about how big “The Big LG” Doc Gallows looks, Anderson talks about how they took over Slammiversary and how they’re the best in the world. They are here to take over and dominate everyone, which is why their shirts have sold out and why Slammiversary was trending #1 worldwide.

They’re ready for some beers but here are Ace Austin and Madman Fulton to interrupt. The Good Brothers showed up and came straight after the top guys, because the best in the business is looking right at them. Austin slaps the beer out of Anderson’s hand and the fight is on, with the Brothers cleaning house with all of no effort.

Heath (Heath: “I’ve got a last name. I just can’t use it anymore.”) can’t get into the building.

Rhino and Hernandez agree to a match for all of the arm wrestling money. Didn’t they do that last week?

Bey and his two handlers are having some champagne when Rohit Raju comes in and takes the glass to give a toast to the new champ. He offers his services to watch Bey’s back, insisting that he is better than Johnny Swinger. Bey will keep that in mind.

Kiera Hogan/Tasha Steelz vs. Nevaeh/Havok

Steelz and Nevaeh start things off with Steelz getting suplexed down and crucifixed for two. Havok comes in for a backbreaker into a sliding clothesline, meaning it’s off to Hogan. That earns her a big boot from Havok and a Hennig necksnap from Nevaeh. Hogan gets in a cheap shot from behind to put Nevaeh in the corner though and the stomping is on.

Nevaeh blasts Steelz with a clothesline and elbow to the face, allowing the unseen tag to Havok. A swinging neckbreaker is enough for the seen tag to Havok meaning it’s some running hip attacks in the corner. Everything breaks down and Steelz hits Havok with a chair for the DQ at 6:05.

Rating: C-. It feels like we see these teams fighting every week or so anymore and that makes things feel rather repetitive. Commentary was talking about bringing back the Knockouts Tag Team Titles and while the division is getting some more depth, that doesn’t mean it needs another pair of titles running around. Develop it first, because right now you have these four and maybe a few other makeshift teams. That’s not enough for titles.

Post match Havok Tombstones Hogan.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Eddie Edwards b. Bobby Lashley to win the World Title on Impact, October 6, 2018.

Sami Callihan blames Ken Shamrock for the loss on Sunday. Shamrock says talk to him last week.

Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes are back and Forbes is tired of wearing clothes. Next week, everyone gets a free preview.

Hernandez vs. Rhino

They hand the money to the referee and Rhino hits a Gore for the pin at 19 seconds.

The North wants to know when they get their celebration. They have dominated tag team wrestling for a year but then the Motor City Machine Guns show up and get treated like royalty in one night. If the Guns want the celebration, come take the titles.

Brian Myers (Curt Hawkins) is coming.

We get some rapid fire promos from everyone who won on Sunday. They’re all happy and proud and looking forward to the future.

Deonna Purrazzo talks about proving herself on Sunday when Kylie Rae comes in. She’s the next challenger so Deonna goes for the armbar but Rae slips out and the brawl is on.

Here’s Eddie Edwards for his first comments as champion. Eddie talks about the journey to get here and now it is time for a new journey to begin. He wants to be the kind of champion that you can believe in and things are about to change. There has not been a title defense in five months so he is going to change that by defending it every week. He is living proof that anything is possible and he wants to give the title credibility.

Cue Eric Young but Eddie cuts him off, saying Young deserves a beating for what he did to Rich Swann. Eric says Eddie is lucky that it was Rich in his cross hairs instead of Edwards. None of this has anything to do with Eddie because Eric made all of this. The fight is on and referees break it up, allowing Young to get in a cheap shot. Hopefully we can get Young out of the way sooner than later.

Moose isn’t putting up his title every week like Eddie because this title is too prestigious. He isn’t worried about EC3 but he’ll face Fallah Bahh tonight.

Eddie isn’t worried about Eric Young but here’s Trey, who requests and is granted a title shot next week.

TNA World Title: Fallah Bahh vs. Moose

Moose is defending and TJP is here with Bahh. Moose shoves him away to start so Bahh fires off some chops in the corner. A running boot to the face rocks Bahh though and a shoulder drops him. There’s a boot across Bahh’s face but Bahh is back up with a running elbow in the corner. The Samoan drop is broken up with a rake to the face and No Jackhammer Needed retains the title at 3:38.

Rating: D+. This is an idea that is going to work for the time being as Moose can spear half the roster until he gets to face someone noteworthy (and by that I mean EC3). It’s a funny gag and they can drop the TNA deal whenever it’s done so it isn’t a big deal going forward. Bahh is still big but you can really tell how much weight he has lost, which is quite impressive.

Post match EC3 jumps Moose from behind with an inverted DDT.

In the parking lot, Ace Austin and Madman Fulton taunt the Good Brothers. Cue Reno Scum to jump them from behind, allowing Austin and Fulton to escape.

Rosemary and John E. Bravo come into a rather nice house. Rosemary seems to hint at something between them but Bravo doesn’t get it, meaning the frustration is on. Cue Taya Valkyrie, much to Rosemary’s annoyance. Rosemary snaps her fingers and various wrestlers start appearing. Next week: Wrestle House! I’ve heard worse ideas.

Tag Team Titles: The North vs. Motor City Machine Guns

The Guns are challenging. Page and Shelley start thinks off with Shelley cranking on the arm. That’s reversed into a headlock and it’s an early standoff. Sabin comes in but his shoulders bounce off of Alexander. An Octopus hold doesn’t work much better so Sabin goes with the armdrags to take over. It’s already back to Page to pound Shelley but everything breaks down and the champs are sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Shelley striking away at Page in the corner but an Alexander distraction lets Page get in a shot to the face. Alexander holds Shelley so Page can stomp away as the champs take over. Shelley’s elbow to the head just earn him a half nelson backbreaker with Sabin coming in for a save. The handoff suplex puts Shelley down again but Alexander misses a moonsault. There’s the hot tag to Sabin and the pace picks up in a hurry.

The champs are sent into each other and Sabin’s tornado DDT gets two on Page. Sabin dives onto Alexander on the floor and Shelley’s standing Sliced Bread gets another two. Shelley’s spinning Downward Spiral sets up a Gargano Escape on Page, with Sabin grabbing a Texas Cloverleaf on Alexander at the same time.

They’re both broken up at the same time and it’s Sabin slugging it out with Alexander. Everything breaks down again and it’s a cutter into a wheelbarrow suplex to plant Sabin for two more. Shelley is sent outside and Sabin gets kicked in the head, but the Northern Assault is countered into a small package to give the Guns the titles back at 14:14.

Rating: B. This really was the kind of a main event that would have been better off with a crowd there to spice it up. They had a good match, though it didn’t quite hit the level that they were shooting for. The North losing after such a long reign is fine, but having the title match so soon after the Guns’ return didn’t exactly let the title change get the build that it needed.

Jimmy Jacobs leaves but Heath sneaks inside to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was good but you could tell that some of the fire was missing from the past few weeks. That isn’t the biggest surprise as you could go a long way based on the mystery appearances. The problem though is you then realize that two of the big names were Heath Slater and Eric Young, which doesn’t have the same pop once you get over the surprise. It’s still a fine show, but it wasn’t what it was over the last few weeks.

Results

Chris Bey b. Willie Mack – Art of Finesse

Havok/Nevaeh b. Tasha Steelz/Kiera Hogan via DQ when Steelz used a chair

Rhino b. Hernandez – Gore

Moose b. Fallah Bahh – No Jackhammer Needed

Motor City Machine Guns b. The North – Small package to Page

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 24, 2006
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally done with No Way Out, which wound up being a heck of a show. Now that we’re past the last stop, Wrestlemania is the last stop and that means things should start picking up in a hurry. The big stories are Kurt Angle surviving against Undertaker and Rey Mysterio losing his World Title shot to Randy Orton. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Way Out if you need a recap.

Here’s Randy Orton to open things up. With the big smile, Orton says that he isn’t the kind of guy to say he told you so, but he told you so. He’s competing for the World Title at Wrestlemania and Rey Mysterio is not. It’s time to claim his destiny and that means beating Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania.

Orton’s grandfather was the greatest wrestler of his generation, his father was the greatest wrestler of his generation and he is going to prove that he is the greatest wrestler of his generation. That puts him ahead of Undertaker, Kurt Angle and even Eddie Guerrero. Cue Chavo Guerrero to beat Orton down, including Three Amigos and a frog splash. Security carries a screaming Chavo out.

Tag Team Titles: Matt Hardy/Tatanka vs. MNM

MNM is defending, because Matt Hardy and Tatanka aren’t going to be Tag Team Champions on any show that matters. Matt and Mercury start things off with Matt getting two off a running forearm. Nitro comes in and Matt beats up both champs without much effort. It’s off to Tatanka to crotch Nitro on top and a right hand puts Mercury down on the floor. Melina offers a distraction though and Tatanka gets low bridged outside. Back in and Tatanka can’t fight out of the corner and it’s a double back elbow for two.

Tatanka fails at fighting out of the corner again but Mercury’s distraction means the referee misses a small package on Nitro. A double clothesline gets Tatanka out of trouble and there’s the hot tag to Hardy. House is cleaned in a hurry as Melina isn’t handling this well. Nitro gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Mercury grabs a northern lights suplex for two. Tatanka breaks up the Snapshot as everything breaks down. Melina grabs Hardy’s leg to block the Twist of Fate and Nitro rolls up Hardy with tights for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. It was a pretty standard formula tag match but come on with Hardy and Tatanka being believable challengers. That would have been a stretch at a small house show and we’re supposed to believe it on a TV show on the way to Wrestlemania? I like MNM but man alive are they alone out there as far as good tag teams go.

An annoyed William Regal comes in to see Paul Burchill and has a letter. A fan in England begs Regal to stop Burchill from embarrassing the country like this….so Burchill hands him a BOMB (as in the black ball with a long wick kind) and lights it on fire. Burchill is nice enough to cut it off, though Regal’s panicking is funny as always.

Eddie Guerrero Hall of Fame video.

Dicks vs. Boogeyman

Booker T. and Sharmell are on commentary and aren’t happy when this is turned from a tag match into a handicap match. Booker: “WHO SIGNED THIS GUY???” The forearms to the back don’t work and the ones to the face don’t do much better. James is sent to the floor and then onto the announcers’ table, leaving Chad to get chokebombed for the fast pin.

Post match, Chad gets wormed and Boogeyman goes after Booker and Sharmell. The two of them run so Boogeyman covers the announcers’ table with worms as well.

Raw Rebound.

Wrestlemania Big Time Moment: Jeff Hardy’s huge Swanton through the table to Bubba Ray Dudley in 2000.

Cole and Tazz are freaked out over the worms.

Here’s Rey Mysterio to address his loss at No Way Out. Rey wastes no time in talking about Eddie Guerrero, who was smiling down on him at the Royal Rumble. But then Randy Orton got in his head and Rey lost, which let everyone down. Rey is sorry to everyone from his family to the Guerreros to everyone here to Eddie himself. Before he can leave, cue Teddy Long to say everyone feels their pain.

We see a clip of Orton grabbing the rope to pin Mysterio. Now the referee’s decision is final and Orton is going to Wrestlemania, but Long can add to the match. Mysterio is back in as it is now a triple threat. There was no way they were letting that stand after all of the Guerrero hype and that’s fine, assuming you can handle all of the Guerrero worship.

Here’s Kristal to promote the annual Divas magazine. Before she can disrobe for a preview, here’s Jillian Hall to interrupt. These fans want to see JBL in the main event but Kristal rips off Jillian’s jacket instead, sending her running to the back. Kristal takes off her robe.

We look at Batista’s surprise appearance at No Way Out.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Psicosis

Psicosis is challenging and takes him down with ease to start. Some right hands in the corner have Psicosis in trouble but he comes out with an anklescissors. Helms sends him hard out to the floor though and Psicosis may have hurt his back. Before he can get back in, Helms catches him on the apron with forearms to the chest and we hit the chinlock. Psicosis fights up with a hurricanrana but Helms clotheslines him back down.

The chinlock with a knee in the back has Psicosis in more trouble but he gets to his feet again. A spinwheel kick gets two so Helms grabs the TKO onto the knee. Psicosis gets in a shot to the face and heads up top but gets crotches down. Helms grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This was another lifeless cruiserweight match, which tends to be the case for them every single time. There isn’t anything that you need to see in these matches and while Helms makes sense in the role, it is a little hard to care about another guy in trunks when he used to be something as charismatic as Hurricane.

Highlights of Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker on Sunday.

Teddy Long comes out to announce Angle vs. Undertaker II for next week.

Chris Benoit/Bobby Lashley/Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay/John Bradshaw Layfield/Randy Orton

Before the match, Orton complains to Long about the triple threat match. Long’s advice: get to stepping. Orton hammers Mysterio down to start but has to bail from the threat of a 619. Finlay comes in and gets to face Lashley so they forearm it out. Lashley nails a spear on Finlay and everything breaks down. Back from a break with Benoit Sharpshootering JBL, who is right next to the rope.

Lashley’s overhead belly to belly sends JBL flying and the spear connects again. Finlay makes a save and Orton comes back in, meaning Rey is right in there as well. Orton gets Rey into the corner though and it’s Finlay grabbing the chinlock. JBL follows it up with a kick to the face but Rey snaps off a headscissors. That doesn’t work for Finlay, who ties Rey in the ring skirt and hammers away some more. JBL slaps on a bearhug to stay on the back and then cuts him off with a hard shoulder for two.

Finlay comes in without a tag and gets sent out, so JBL tags in Orton instead. Naturally that means another chinlock but Rey headscissors him shoulder first into the post. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house and it’s a series of release German suplexes. The Clothesline From JBL is countered into a Crossface attempt with Finlay making the save. JBL is sent outside and his hand is crushed between the steps and post. Rey throws JBL back inside for a 619 and a springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty basic main event tag here and that’s not the best thing to see a lot of the time. They didn’t exactly do anything out of the ordinary and then Rey won because we need to bring up Eddie again. It wasn’t a bad match by any stretch, but it also isn’t something that did very much other than give Rey a win back, which he didn’t need as much after being put back in the Wrestlemania title match.

Rey gets a far too big celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well that wasn’t great. This show was basically hitting the rewind button on Orton’s victory over Mysterio, as Rey is right back where he was before No Way Out. So yes, we will be hearing more about Eddie every chance they can find to squeeze it in. The wrestling wasn’t nothing memorable and other than announcing Undertaker vs. Angle II and Rey being put back in the title match, this was a completely skippable show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Obviously it’s a year later and there’s few differences. The main one is that Hogan is once again the world champion (stunning isn’t it?) and the Deadman has arrived. Other than that, there are very few differences. Hart is a singles wrestler now, so that’s the last major difference that I was forgetting. This card is really forgotten over time if you look at it from an historical standpoint.

The main event is Hogan and Warrior against Slaughter and his two cronies in a handicap match, meaning that Sheik Adnan al-Kaissie and the Iron Sheik are supposed to be equal to Hogan or Warrior? Remember Adnan? Neither do I. He was a manager in the AWA and that’s about it. The other big deal is tonight is the marriage of Savage and Elizabeth, because marriage, the most holy of unions, has to be on PPV right???

Other than that, this card is really forgettable. The main interesting point in this is what the Warrior did. He allegedly threatened to no show the PPV unless Vince paid him some obscene amount. He pulled this a few days before the PPV, and Vince really had no choice but to do what Warrior said.

This is where the “I couldn’t wait to fire him” line came from. Warrior got to the back after the match and was fired immediately. Other than that, there’s next to nothing of interest here, but I’ve seen worse cards be watchable, so maybe this one will be as well. Let’s find out.

Very standard opening with the song playing and the announcers talking about the big stuff that evening. Standard, but fine I guess.

Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just called the Dragon here, and this is the famous scene where he’s dressed as a human lizard that breathes fire into the air. That’s a shame that he’s fallen this far this fast. He’d be back in WCW in just a few months where he was at least given some decent feuds and no stupid costume. Commentators completely ignore the match to talk about the matches later on in the show. Wait, they mentioned the six man.

You know I think these six…no it was just a quick thing about it. I feel like I’m watching a Nitro taping. Tornado comes in and all of a sudden they can’t stop talking about the match. I think that’s a bit of a shot at Steamboat by Vince. Literally, he was in there two and a half minutes and got one line about him. He leaves and the commentary is all about the match. We’re about 5 minutes into this and I’m still looking for a point to it.

I think it’s supposed to be Warlord vs. Bulldog, but I’m not sure really. It’s just a random group of faces vs. three heels with the same manager. I’m so utterly bored by this match that I can’t actually think of the words to explain it. It is just so standard and basic that I could see it at an FCW show. The wrestling is fine, but there’s no thought here at all. Faces win.

Rating: D. This was just so boring. Like I said, the wrestling was fine, but dang it was just there. There’s no thought, no story, no reason for this to take place. It’s an ok opener, but I would have wanted to see anything else.

Hey kids! Call this number if you want to hear a prerecorded comment from Savage or Liz about their fake wedding! Your parents won’t mind!

Mr. Perfect says he’s a great champion.

IC Title: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Dang this was on second? This is by far and away the best match on the card and a lot of people, including Norcal, says that it’s one of the best matches ever. These two had such a magnificent chemistry together and it’s hardly ever been topped. I defy you to find a better pair of guys to have such consistent matches with. Stu and Helen are there…again. Has there ever been a match with Bret that they haven’t been at?

You don’t see them at Owen’s matches. No wonder Owen was the bitter one. Coach is there with Perfect, and sadly enough his death got NO coverage due to Misawa dying a day later. They start with a great set of back and forth stuff with no one being able to get an advantage. It’s one of those types of openings where you have a guy in control but he’s not dominating at all. Hart does that here by just having on a basic headlock.

Heenan continues to show why he’s as important as anyone on the roster as his lines about Bret’s parents make you want to cheer for Bret more than anyone else could. Perfect gets his singlet literally ripped apart by Hart which makes him look almost crazed about the match. He looks like he’s in a war despite this having been going about 7 minutes at this point. This is a great dynamic for a match as you have the young lion Bret facing the established veteran in Perfect, who has the exact same style.

Crowd is way into this one too, which is making it better. Perfect’s hair looks like he got a bad shock as his perm has practically exploded. He takes over though as Heenan is singing his praises. We get a hair toss, which isn’t something that you see that often in a men’s match. That would hurt like heck too. Imagine being tossed by your hair. If that’s going to happen to me I better be getting paid for it. There’s a good story playing out here as Perfect counters everything that Hart has.

Hart kicks out of the Perfect Plex as the fans and Heenan lose their minds. Heenan says that no one has ever done that, which is ridiculous as Warrior did it in 1990. Hart brings up the original 5 moves of doom to put Perfect in “a whole heap of trouble.” Coach breaks this up though so Perfect has control again. He drops a let between Bret’s legs and backflips out of it which is cool looking.

He does it again, and in one of the SWEETEST counters I’ve ever seen, Bret grabs his leg, puts the Sharpshooter on him on the mat from his back, spins him over and then pulls back on it for the tap out. That was freaking sweet. Bret runs over to his family to celebrate. We get to hear Stu’s voice, which I never recall hearing other than this.

Rating: A+. These guys were spot on the whole time. It was a nearly 20 minute match and I didn’t see a single botch or anything resembling a botch at all. That counter at the end was absolute perfection and it played so well into the rest of the match. These two had so much chemistry they might as well be a magnet high school. Great match all around.

Hulk Hogan has a special PPV coming up, which is nothing but his “biggest” matches. Forerunner to 24/7 I guess.

We cut to the back to see the Bushwackers and Andre the Giant, which has to the weirdest pairing of all time. Andre was completely gone at this point with big crutches holding him up. This is explained by Earthquake being the guy that injured him. This was his last major WWF appearance save for popping up at a battle royal in London a few months later, which wasn’t televised until on 24/7 and some special releases.

Bushwackers vs. Natural Disasters

It’s so sad to see the Bushwackers have to walk so slow to let Andre keep up with them. He just didn’t need to be out there at this point but you can see it in his eyes that he’s having a ball out there. His love for the business was so obvious and it’s a shame he wasn’t around for the big boom in the 90s, at least to see it if nothing else. Now in case you’re an idiot and can’t figure it out, this is a comedy match.

GREAT line by Piper. Heenan says if he were the manager of the Bushwackers he’s kill himself. Piper says go apply for the job. Piper was a freaking riot when he didn’t like someone. To further make this stupid, the Bushwackers beat them up to start. Can someone explain to me why this makes sense? Piper says that two guys from New Zealand are Americana personified. He can be a riot but he can also be a moron.

Heenan with a Larry, Darryl and Darryl joke to take the lead in the best commentator of the night race. Andre continues to point and grunt about various things. Heenan leaves to interview Hogan as the ND finally take control and the match gets boring in a hurry. Did the Wackers EVER do anything of note? I can’t remember anything.

Anyway, as expected, this ends with a Bushwacker, the one that licked me at a house show, getting pinned. Afterwards the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD run out for the save and the showdown that I’m not sure ever occurred.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match. What do you really expect here? It was however, pretty short so it could have been far, far worse.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA title to continue what should have been the biggest showdown of all time, but they somehow screwed it up. Heenan’s unveiling of the NWA Big Gold Belt in 91 still ranks in my top five most awesome moments in wrestling history. Hogan (never seen or heard) slams the door in his face.

More Savage/Liz phone line ads. Macho is shown on the phone line. This is just stupid.

DiBiase and Mooney recap the Virgil/DiBiase history. As bad as Virgil was, this match was actually kind of epic as the pop for Virgil finally turning was pretty big. This is the rematch from Mania 7 where Virgil won by countout.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

The wrestling here isn’t the appeal. Virgil has had very few matches at this point while DiBiase is one of the best in ring workers of all time. Surprisingly enough, DiBiase dominates early on. It’s pretty basic with punches and kicks with a roll-up here or there. There’s just not a lot to say about the first half of this match. Both guys are going pretty light out there which is fine I think, as it’s really more about the storyline than the match itself.

Piper was Virgil’s mentor so he’s cheering wildly for him. Heenan gets in a great line about Virgil being so dumb he’ll try to bronze the gold belt. After about 5 minutes of Virgil getting beaten up, he catches DiBiase in a Million Dollar Dream until Sherri runs in to cause the DQ as Piper absolutely snaps.

HOWEVER!

The referee decides that’s not fair and sends Sherri to the back while ordering the match to continue. Now we get a better match as they’re going a bit harder but Virgil is hurt after being hit by the loaded purse. DiBiase proceeds to kick his body guarding self from one side of the ring to the other, but the ref was bumped so we have no one to count the pin.

A piledriver (which is what love feels just like sometimes) puts him nearly out as DiBiase takes off the turnbuckle. Virgil counters and rams him in twice. I don’t like the ending though as it takes Virgil about 20 seconds to get the cover and the win. Piper goes insane over this.

Rating: B. As I said, this was all storyline and it was a very fun one. Virgil rising up to face DiBiase and say that he’d had enough, leading to the big blowoff of him winning the title that literally was DiBiase’s was just perfect. The wrestling was pretty bad, but the emotion makes up for it.

The Mountie says he’ll win tonight.

Big Bossman says he’ll win tonight.

Jailhouse Match: Big Bossman vs. Mountie

The loser spends a night in a New York jail, which is kind of an interesting idea. This was around the time that Mountie was using this stupid shock stick to attack people. Monsoon says this will be a classic. That’s just comical. Piper would finally beat Mountie as he had a vest or something that absorbed the electricity, which is actually brilliant. There’s all kinds of bad prison jokes by Heenan here as this is supposed to be a huge match.

Apparently the loser also gets arrested and will have a criminal record. Dude, seriously, this is absurd. I still can’t get over the fact that Mountie beat Bret Hart and Hogan. You’d think he was Edge or something. This is a pretty boring match as once again it’s all about storyline as the match really just doesn’t live up to the hype.

Gorilla says that Hart is the best advertisement for birth control he’s ever seen. It just kind of happens slowly and no one cares about this match. Bossman wins and they take Mountie to jail, in one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D. I can’t believe I liked this as a kid. The styles just didn’t mesh. Mountie was better when he wrestled as a light weight, not this. Boss Man was outliving his usefulness at this point, but that can be attributed to them never really giving him a serious push. This whole gimmick as just dumb and the match was even worse.

DiBiase is mad that he lost the title, which was stolen from him.

Hart is happy about winning the title.

Jimmy Hart is with the Natural Disasters and is FREAKING OUT over Mountie. This is a pretty funny bit from him. The Disasters want the LOD. That’s not a good idea.

Boss Man makes fun of the Mounite as we must be on an intermission.

Gene is talking to Savage who is nervous, so let’s plug his phone call thing.

Holy

Freaking

Goodness

They actually put the intermission clock on the screen! It’s 5 minutes of dead silence, with the Savage phone number on the screen. You can hear the crowd cheering something. Boy it would be fun to actually SEE what they’re cheering for wouldn’t it? This is freaking stupid. I’m sitting here for 5 minutes waiting on a clock to count down. Why in the world was this left on the home video? I don’t want to look at a countdown.

Right now I’d rather read a book or something like that. We would have had to pay for this back in the day. After turning off my Best of Starrcade DVD which is more interesting to look at the box of than this countdown, we come back…to the Summerslam logo! My goodness people wonder why no one bought wrestling PPVs back in the day. At least give us some promos or something. Is it really that hard to do?

We go straight to the jail, where Mountie is arriving. My goodness, WHY WASN’T THIS USED DURING THE BREAK? If you want to have a live intermission that’s cool but don’t waste the money of the people paying by making them watch a freaking clock. That’s just stupid. Yeah this isn’t funny.

The Nasty Boys are in the back and Jimmy is still losing it. This is going to be a street fight for the belts against the LOD. The champions leave but first, we go back the jail where Mountie is panicking over everything, this time being photographed which is apparently like taking his soul.

Gene is with the LOD who say this is right up their alley. This promo is more about the Natural Disasters than the title match they have next. But before that silly thing like a tag title match, we go back for more “comedy” as Mountie is offended by getting his fingerprints taken.

MORE promos as I’m just sick of these now. Slaughter and company say they’ll win. This is just freaking ridiculous as we’ve gone 20 minutes since the end of the last match.

Screw it I give up. Sid has to do a promo now since he’s the referee for the main event. Did we really need the 5 minute clock with all these promos? Was this intermission half an hour? We see a video of Sid being offered a spot with Slaughter’s team.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

What the heck, you mean you don’t want to interview the caterers? Like I said this is a street fight for the belts. It’s kind of funny hearing Gorilla have to play babysitter between the two commentators. LOD is WAY over. Piper says that stands for look out dummy. Actually I believe it stands for Legion of Doom there Roddy. Big brawl of course to start us off.

We talk about Sid a lot as the referee tries to get people to tag in and out. I will never get the point of that in a street fight. And after the first few minutes it becomes a regular tag match. Well sure why not. Hawk plays Ricky Morton in a weird casting decision. Sags hits a top rope elbow on Hawk for two as Animal saves.

Animal comes in off the fairly hot tag and yeah this is going to be dominance. The Nasties get in a helmet (Jimmy’s trademark with them for some reason) shot to Hawk which does nothing for the most part. Hawk hits both guys with it and the Device on Sags gives them their first WWF Tag Titles.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak for the most part. It started and ended fairly hot but the middle is just dull. It’s a tag team match for about 5 minutes and the rest is nothing at all. There’s nothing here worth anything other than the LOD getting their first tag titles which took them forever to get. Pretty weak here but it was quick. One thing though: did ANYONE not see the title change coming? Anyone? Nah I didn’t think so.

Uh oh. I think that crazy Mountie might be up to more hijinks. Let’s see what kind of shenanigans he’s gotten himself into this time, that little rascal. Oh look at this! That hilarious Mountie got put inside a cell! What kind of improbably circumstances could he find himself in there? Wait and see!

Survivor Series promo.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Yep, it’s a filler on a show with a 5 minute intermission. I wonder if this qualifies for the worst booked show of all time. Valentine was completely done at this point and this was to do nothing but put over Irwin. Both guys here are great workers though so if you can ignore the stupidity of putting this on next to last after the ridiculous amount of filler we’ve already had, this could be a good match.

Apparently Roberts and Taker are in Madison Square Garden which is a huge deal. Yeah it’s not like those two could be on the card or something like that. Oh hey, did you hear that Mountie is in jail? Not sure if I made that clear, but Mountie is in jail for the night. About five minutes into this match, we address it. Remember what I said about this might be ok? I was wrong, this match sucks.

Valentine puts the figure four on him but he gets to the ropes without really selling it at all. He goes for it again and gets rolled up with a shoulder up and kicking out before the three, but I guess the referee says end this suckage now and I’ll buy you an Air Supply album. That’ll keep Valentine distracted for hours.

Rating: D+. I feel so bad for guys like this when the commentators aren’t the least bit interested in the match. At least give them something to work on. No one wanted to see this and it would have been better being much earlier in the show. It was pretty bad, but if the announcers had actually tried, it would have been at least watchable.

Hogan says to buy his PPV in the fall.

Hogan and Warrior are feeling patriotic apparently. The big problem with the whole Iraq storyline was this: the war had ended 6 months ago. There’s a running story/joke that Vince was hoping the war went until May so the main event of Mania would have made sense. Of course, since the writers were lazy even back then, which I believe the writers consisted of Vince back then, let’s just keep it going for another 6 months instead of having a real main event at Summerslam.

Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan vs. Hogan/Warrior

Let me make this clear: no one cares. Sid is the referee instead of having him face Warrior in what could have been a big match, or a Warrior/Hogan vs. Slaughter rematch which also would have been an interesting match. Ok no it wouldn’t have been but it would have been a real main event. The world champion is in a freaking handicap match at Summerslam. This is so stupid. Let’s get this nonsense over with please.

In case you can’t tell, I freaking hate this show. The faces dominate early as the fans cheer and no one is surprised. The only interesting thing here is to watch Warrior as he knows it’s his last match. Nothing special from him as Hogan gets beaten down and has to get beaten up by a couple of 50 year olds. He even takes the camel clutch from the man he beat for the world title 7 and a half years ago. That’s just weird to think about.

Hulkamania was born less than 8 years before this. They actually acknowledge that he’s the Sheik which I didn’t remember them doing. Hogan makes his comeback and tags Warrior, who beats up the heels but then gets beaten down himself. My goodness where do they come up with this brilliant storytelling? I’ve never seen anything like it (tonight at least)!

Warrior with his comeback and then it’s a brawl, no one is interested, Warrior grabs a chair and chases the two near senior citizens to the back because he can’t beat them on his own where he’s promptly fired. Hogan uses some powder and pins Slaughter with Sid doing absolutely nothing of note the entire match. Posing ensues as Sid joins him. This was a BIG waste of time.

Rating: D. There is absolutely no thought in this match at all. It’s two faces against three heels. I don’t think there was any buildup, and if there was it’s not mentioned here. Hogan was about to drop the title to Taker in two months, and Taker isn’t even on the card.

There was a home video released where this same match happened, but Taker was in it instead of the old guy not named Iron Sheik. Now wouldn’t that have been better here? This was called the Match Made In Hell. That’s a perfect title, because it would be perfect in the 8th circle of eternal torment. Horrible match and I’m glad it’s over.

And one more time, we see the Mountie in jail, this time being hit on by a fat biker. See, it’s funny because the biker wants to screw Mountie. See why that’s funny? I want to make sure it’s known that this is designed to be a joke, because I don’t think they made it clear enough. That’s a bit risqué for 1991.

We get the whole promo of Savage proposing to Liz, as this is the match made in heaven. See what they did? Match made in heaven and its opposite? See how intelligent Vince was to imply one was good and one was bad? Oh yeah that’s awesome indeed. In case that’s not enough emotion for you, we get a 4 minute music video, highlighting their entire history. The thing at Mania was amazing stuff and for the simple reason of it was spontaneous. This is just overkill.

The wedding is of course in the middle of the ring, which is of course set up to look like a chapel. Savage comes out first, in his hat, which has a, I’m not making this up, two foot high feather on it. We even have stupid flower girls and ring bearers. Could this get any sappier? Liz comes out looking stunning of course as the only thing that’s appealing about the whole thing. They say I do and the show ends.

Now for the actual good part: the reception. This was a bonus on some versions of the tape that has some of the best comedy I’ve ever seen. We get the standard stuff: toast, first dance, cake, etc. One thing that’s funny here is Gene says Mr. and Mrs. Macho. Shouldn’t it be Mr. and Mrs. Savage? Now we get to the really good part, as they open their wedding gifts.

Savage opens one and finds a blender. “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” For some reason this is just freaking hysterical to me. He sounds like he won the WWF Title or something. Anyway, they get some candlesticks to which Savage shouts that next time they should send money. Liz looks at him, wondering what’s this about next time. Savage turns back and yells KIDDING! Then it kicks off as Liz opens a box to find a King Cobra.

Taker appears out of nowhere and blasts Savage in the head with the urn. Did no one see the SEVEN FOOT TALL GUY IN ALL BLACK AND A COWBOY HAT??? Jake comes in with a snake handler’s glove and another snake, yet no one stopped him either. Sid comes in with a wooden chair to run them off as we end with me laughing my head off at it.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked. It has ONE good match. The rest is bad comedy and a horrible main event. I literally couldn’t remember what the main event was at this show when I was trying to think of it the other day. That should happen at Judgment Day or something, not freaking SUMMERSLAM.

Half the show was dedicated to an unfunny angle that was a waste of time. There is one match that’s bringing this up to a D from an F-. Watch that, and that’s it. This might be the worst of the big four that I’ve ever seen, including WM 11.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

We open with a look at the fans coming into the arena and buying merchandise.

Now we get a traditional intro with Vince shouting about the double main event.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Post match Shawn finally gets into the ring but Marty covers his injured leg and takes a beating himself. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Back in and Perfect hits a clothesline of his own and the necksnap has Tornado in trouble. Off to a sleeper on Tornado but he quickly makes the rope. Perfect tries slapping him in the face, but Tornado pulls him into a slingshot, sending Perfect head first into the post. The Claw hold and Tornado Punch are enough for the pin and the title.

Mean Gene is talking about Sapphire being nowhere in sight (remember that as it becomes important later) when Hennig and Brain come in and say Tornado cheated by sending Perfect into the post. Heenan swears, yes SWEARS I SAY, that the shoulder was up at two.

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Ad for Survivor Series. That show SUCKED.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

During the break between falls, Demolition knocks Bret to the floor, allowing Ax to run down and sneak under the ring. The third fall starts with Bret getting two off a sunset flip before taking Smash down by the leg. Neidhart picks Bret up for the reverse powerslam for two on Smash. Now things get tricky as Smash rolls to the floor and rolls under the ring, switching places with Ax.

Demolition wants to get their hands on the LOD.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Demolition yells a lot.

Gene sees Sapphire go into a dressing room and lock the door behind her.

Orient Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.

Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.

Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.

Vince and Roddy talk about Hogan vs. Earthquake happening again.

WWF World Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

In a cage where you can win by pin or escape. Rude tries to block Warrior from getting into the cage so Warrior knocks him off the top and down into the ring. The champion finally comes in with a top rope ax handle smash and throws Rude into the cage. Rick goes into the cage a few more times but ducks a charge to send Warrior face first into the bars. Rude kicks Warrior away but jumps off the top to put him down again instead of climbing out.

Rating: D. This match sucked and the ending was exactly what people expected. These two had a match on SNME a month earlier and maybe Rude should have taken the title there to give it back to Warrior here. There was nothing of interest here and Warrior never seemed to be in any real danger due to Rude not going for a cover or trying to escape.

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Texas Tornado vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B

Redo: D+

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Original: A+

Redo: B

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan vs. Orient Express

Original: D+

Redo: N/A

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: C-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: C+

Nostalgia is a powerful drug.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2010/12/12/summerslam-1990/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is the first PPV that I ever had bought for me and we literally went through three copies of it as the tape itself was literally falling apart. As far as updates go, a few things have happened since we were last around for Summerslam. Ventura is gone which kind of sucks. For once, and this was very rare back then, Vince is handling commentary tonight.

Warrior won the title at Mania, having dropped the IC belt down to no one but Perfect won it in a tournament, becoming one of the best IC Champions of all time. Hogan has been out of action all summer after Earthquake beat him up, and tonight is his triumphant return to face the big man. Warrior is having a token title defense against Rude in a cage, in what would be Rude’s last match with the company before taking a year off before debuting as the Halloween Phantom in WCW a year later.

Finally, and this is actually the most important thing you’ll see, a mysterious person has been sending Sapphire very expensive gifts. It would turn out to be DiBiase, who would begin to feud with Rhodes, leading to November’s Survivor Series. At that show, DiBiase would bring in a mystery partner, who was from Death Valley. It blows my mind to think that matches this old were two months before his debut. He might have even been on some house shows at this point. Let’s get to it.

Anyway, this show is going to have a lot of high grades for pure nostalgia for me, so expect a high overall rating as I know about half the commentary for the show despite having watched it once in about 15 years.

Before the show starts, the version I have comes with a bonus promo from Warrior, standing behind a cage wall. There’s no ring or other three walls. It’s just a single wall of a cage that the belt is handing from. Well of course he’s got a piece of a steel cage!

Don’t you have one sitting in your living room? Standard Warrior insanity here as the big deal was supposed to be that Rude has been in cage matches before but Warrior never has. Does anyone remember Rude in a cage match that meant anything?

In something completely random that’s an exclusive, we get Brother Love’s Summerslam picks. This is very weird as Gene says you can make your picks now, for the MONDAY night showing of Summerslam. Yes, back then, PPVs weren’t always on Mondays. On my tape (homemade), this is AFTER the IC Title match, which is weird because he makes a pick for that match. I put this here because it makes more sense here, but I don’t remember this at all.

It’s billed as a double main event, but it’s Hogan as the centerpiece as usual. Roddy on commentary is just weird but kind of cool at the same time, aside from his anti-Iraq line in the first 15 seconds. This is getting annoying as I’m quoting everything both guys are saying.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Shawn is legit hurt coming into this as you can see him limping to the ring. They play on that by having Hercules (Power) hit him in the knee with the chain, making this a handicap match. We start with Paul Roma (Glory, and somehow a future Horseman) against Jannetty. It’s a handicap match which is all it can be. They touch on Shawn’s knee injury as they knew about it coming in so they pretty much had to keep this short.

Almost a third of the match is the brawl where Shawn’s knee is hurt and then the rest is Jannetty fighting for all he’s worth, even hitting the top rope punch at one point. However, he of course falls to the suplex/splash combination and gets pinned rather easily. Shawn gets in after the match is over and they beat on him even more. He of course acts like he’s been shot and caught in a bear trap as he’s put on a stretcher and is carted out.

Rating: B-. Absolutely perfect for an opener. This was all over the place and you had to pay attention to keep up with it. It was fast, in your face, and not bad at all. While for a regular match it would have been horrible, the crowd was hot as always being a Philly crowd, and this got them very awake.

Now the IC Title match is up next and it was supposed to be Beefcake winning the belt from Perfect, but he had the famous parasailing accident that pretty much ended his career. That wasn’t mentioned but it was the case. Anyway, this rookie named The Texas Tornado, Kerry Von Erich took Beefcake’s place and he’s getting the match on about a week’s notice.

IC Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Before the match we get promos from both, with Perfect saying he’s perfect. Now we move on to Tornado’s promo, and for some reason I have always loved this one. There’s not much to it, but it just is great to me for some reason. He talks about how he’s going to touch down in the ring and destroy everything in his path, then take the IC title back into the clouds. Something about this is just sweet to me.

Maybe it’s that Von Erich was an amazing talent that sadly would be dead in three years. There’s a somewhat infamous glitch here as Hennig is wearing yellow and Von Erich is wearing yellow in his promo. However, when he comes to the ring he’s wearing white, so I guess they had him change in between. His music is completely awesome too. Yes, I think I’m a Von Erich mark. He’s even rocking the old school sequin robes.

You can tell they made a quick switch as he still had the yellow knee pads on. The crowd here is so ridiculously hot it’s hard to believe. The match itself is actually pretty short and very standard stuff. The crowd being as into it as they are and Hennig’s mind blowingly good selling makes it work though.

He gets Kerry in the corner and slaps him a bunch of times before Von Erich goes off on him, landing a slingshot into the corner which busts his head on the post. Claw hold and Tornado Punch follow for a title change! Afterwards, Hennig falls out of the ring (likely legitimately drunk) and Tornado celebrates as Piper makes fun of him.

Rating: B. This was just pure fun. Perfect was so hated it was unbelievable and Tornado had the skills already that he could make it look good too. That’s the beauty of bringing in a guy from a glorified indy fed: there’s no learning curve. He didn’t have to spend time working with no name guys and you could throw him into the fire, knowing you’d get something good. Great way to put him over here, and it worked like a charm.

Gene is supposed to talk to Sapphire but she’s nowhere in sign. I smell a show wide angle! Heenan runs in to complain about the Tornado breaking rules. Perfect and Hennan’s freaking out is absolutely great. He really did go insane as well as anyone ever did.

Sensational Sherri vs. Sapphire

Oh lord this isn’t going to be good. Sherri is at least good in the ring, but Sapphire? DANG , I saw one of her matches and it made Jackie vs. Trish from Raw in 03 look good (Yes I know it was a tag match so save your corrections). Sherri is in a mask and paint. I guess there’s a point to that. Sapphire doesn’t come out. The music starts again and a third time and no big fat blue rock. Sherri wins by count out. This was purely a way to play to the major angle later on.

Rating: N/A.

Dusty is in the back with Gene saying that something strange is going on. When I was a kid this always gave me chills. In a completely random cameo that becomes unintentional comedy, Dusty calls over Hacksaw Jim Duggan and asks if they’ve seen her. He says no but they’re still looking. Duggan leaves.

He’s on screen all of 6 seconds but it’s just so random that it made me laugh. Dusty talks about the gifts she’s been getting, which are ridiculously expensive. Somehow no one picked up on the fact that DiBiase hadn’t been seen in awhile and only he could afford this. Dusty really is great on the mic. There’s something about his delivery that just flows perfectly.

Tito Santana vs. Warlord

If there has ever been a guy that had all kinds of opportunities thrown to him but just never could pull it off, it’s Warlord. He had an awesome build, a great look, a cool name and he got multiple mini pushes. I think the problem might have been he was too different looking. Maybe it’s that he wasn’t great in the ring. For some reason though, nothing ever worked for him. He wasn’t lazy or annoying or anything like that.

Simply put, he just never caught on. He was a generic big man with muscles, and I’ve never really understood why he didn’t get at least a bit of a reaction. At the time, Tito was a complete and total jobber to the stars. He was in the middle of nothing at the time and was just out there to make people like Warlord look good. Santana would become El Matador soon and it would kind of revitalize his career but not that much.

He was always good for a solid performance though, so it was clear why he stayed around as long as he did. I think I’m starting to get why Warlord never did anything: he’s the most generic guy I’ve ever seen in my entire life as a fan. There is nothing about anything he does that stands out. There’s nothing of note here really, as Santana tries as hard as he can but Warlord hits the powerslam to win the match in the end.

Rating: C+. This is quite acceptable on all levels. It was meant to make Warlord look good and that’s what Santana did. That’s why people like Finlay and Regal have jobs: they can make young guns look good and be realistic threats at the same time. Talents like them are hard to come by which is why they rarely get let go.

Demolition is in the back, and Mooney is confused about why Crush is there. The idea is that the Harts don’t know which two members of Demolition they’re facing. Apparently it’s Smash and Crush tonight. At the time, Demolition is considered untouchable and while the Harts were known to be great, they were thought to be past their primes at this point and only together in name.

You know, they’re actually quite funny on the mics. They tease the showdown with the Legion of Doom, and my god, the collective orgasms that 80s wrestling fans would have had for that match at Mania for the belts would have flooded a small country.

Tag Titles: 2/3 Falls-Demolition vs. Hart Foundation

Norcal and I have called this the greatest tag team match of all time, and I’m still waiting on another to top it. It’s certainly the best gimmick tag match of all time, at least in my mind. Before the match, the Harts say they don’t care which members of Demolition they face. Anvil says he’s not paid to think. He’s paid to be tough like an anvil. That’s a great line.

As they give the promo about giving Demolition massive heart attacks, I’m watching CNN’s coverage of Michael Jackson’s heart attack, which kind of kills the mood. DANG the Harts were over. I’m getting chills watching this. We go about 4 seconds of Smash and Bret before we get a brawl. Anvil comes in and just levels them both, leading to Roddy asking Vince how he would like it if a guy like Anvil came up to him and asked for a date with his daughter.

That’s quite funny considering who Vince’s daughter would become to us. Imagine Neidhart getting the HHH hate. That would be freaking hilarious. I swear his beard has magical powers. Roddy is OUT THERE on commentary. Crush hits a big move and looks at the crowd. Roddy: “We ain’t looking for dairy products here, we’re fighting!” What in the world does that mean? Am I missing a joke here or something?

This match has one of the best flows to it that I’ve ever seen. For the most part, it’s back and forth the whole way with neither team ever truly dominating the other. That’s a very difficult thing to do but when it’s done right, you have a great match. Hart is still the best guy out there, but it’s not like he’s blowing them all away. Demolition were a great team even with the change of Crush, and Neidhart it the absolute perfect complement to Bret.

It’s power and speed vs. a lot pf power, which is a great combination as always. Eventually of course we get a brawl, leading to Jim being knocked to the floor and Bret taking Demolition’s finisher for the first fall. This is what I don’t like about 2/3 falls matches. Demolition just pinned the Harts clean, in a standard tag match, yet the Harts get two more chances at it? I get the stipulation changed the way the match works, but that’s always made me scratch my head.

We begin the second fall with Crush and Hart again, just like the end of the last one, as Hart sells like the master that he is. Piper says that Hart needs to get under his feet. Wouldn’t that mean having your feet in the air and sitting down?

The style of this fall is completely different as it’s Hart getting beaten down instead of a back and forth match, which works very well for psychology, as we get a great flow to the match, using Demolition’s finisher as the turning point of the match. Anvil finally gets a tag and just freaking kills Demolition. Easily the best I’ve ever seen him look as at that moment, he looked like he could have beaten just about anyone.

Bret gets back into it and the Hart Attack connects, but Crush, after missing his cue and having the referee save him, dives onto the referee, before picking him up and carrying him around the ring, which causes a DQ. DANG , after that kind of a save and he jumps the referee? Someone get that man a hot pretzel and a ham sandwich. He’s earned them. Crush should get a sandwich as well.

He was just giving the nice little man a hug for saving him on the blown spot. Shame the referee won’t open up his heart and let a little love in. The best part of this is Crush shaking his head, as if to say what did I do? It’s either bad acting or unintentional comedy, but either way it’s funny.

In between falls, Bret gets knocked to the floor. As Jim is looking at him, Ax comes down and hides under the ring. Now we get to the fun parts of this match, which is saying something as this has been great stuff so far.

So here we are now, one fall to a finish for the tag titles. We get down to a good old fashioned 80s style tag match and there’s absolutely nothing sweeter than this. It’s the Harts in control early with their powerslam/splash move, which despite having been used many times is still surprising to Vince. Geez how bad is this guy’s memory? He can’t remember how bad a lot of the stuff he puts on now is and he couldn’t remember stuff 19 years ago?

Anyway, Ax comes out from under the ring for the illegal switch and the Harts are in trouble all over again. Wow, who saw that coming? Did anyone ever have an issue telling Demolition apart? I certainly didn’t. Anvil keeps making save after save as Bret is looking like a human punching bag. As all this is happening, the fans are getting loud for some reason, and as we cut to the entry way, we see why: the most dominant team of all time, the LOD are here!

They pull Smash out from underneath the ring and break up another Demolisher (I know that’s not the name but screw it that’s what it should be called), leading to a slingshot shoulder block into a rollup to give the Harts the titles as the fans go nuts! The best part here is the Harts’ music not playing.

It makes you feel like it was a great shock and that the sound guy wasn’t sitting there waiting to press a button. I’ve always liked how Bret would kiss whatever belt he had at the time. It’s recaps a go-go as the music plays and the fans are going off.

Rating: A+. The fans wanted the Harts to win, they wanted Demolition to lose, and they got it in a SWEET style. This was a great tag match with all 5 guys in perfect flow the whole time. The Harts were the underdogs that we all wanted to cheer for and we got to do it. That’s exactly what the fans wanted and it made the fans happy. Couple that with GREAT wrestling and drama and you get a classic match. Norcal and I are right: this is the best tag team match ever, just for how much fun it is.

Promo for WM 7. My lord they messed this up. There were supposed to be 100,000 people. Naturally, this didn’t happen, so there was a bogus excuse to move the show to a smaller place. I love the promo though and could recite the phone number to you by heart.

The LOD are in the back, saying they still want a piece of Demolition, saying they’re the real big men. The Harts show up saying they’ll fight anyone. The emotion in their voices and the looks on their faces are absolutely perfect.

We go to Sean Mooney who is outside Demolition’s locker room, and he says all heck is breaking loose. I certainly don’t remember this much cursing on a 1990 PPV. I’m quite surprised at this. Apparently they’re mad at the LOD.

Gene is with Sherri, who is so proud of winning, and says she’s been hearing rumors about Sapphire.

Sean Mooney (DANG what are these backstage interviewers getting paid tonight?) is with Volkoff and Duggan, who are a tag team for no good reason. They’re going to win tonight apparently. We get a really bad pun about if their opponents are the Orient Express, this is the American Express, and don’t leave home without them. Dear lord just take me now.

Earthquake and Bravo are with the other interviewer along with Jimmy Hart. It’s a recap of the feud with Hogan and Quake.

Jake talks about snakes vs. rats. While he’s doing this Damien the snake keeps wrapping around his neck and choking him. To his credit Jake never stops talking. This is about hunger or something.
Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Brown allegedly has over 200lbs of sewer rats but we never see them which is a good thing probably. Yep Jake appears to be drunk. Oh and Big Boss Man is the special referee. No reason at all for it but who cares about logic? Brown jumps him as the referee is on his way to the ring. Brown takes over and goes for a cover with his foot on the chest.

Both guys go for their finishers which of course don’t connect this early on. Brown grabs a chair and drills Jake in the stomach with it in front of Boss Man which is all cool apparently. Jake gets sent into the corner and flashes a screw you sign as he goes down. Classy dude there. Brown goes for a middle rope punch but Jake gets out of the way.

Brown’s offense is different but cool. Piper says something about oily heads and Arabs which Vince naturally ignores. Brown pops him with the chair again and that’s the DQ. That was rather anti-climactic but whatever. He tries to drop a leg on Damien afterwards but Boss Man makes the save. Roddy: you don’t want to hiss off any snakes. Brown jumps him and Jake gets the snake out to run him off.

Rating: C-. This was fine and the fans popped for the DDT as always. For the life of me though, I don’t get why there needed to be a guest referee. He was going to be in the real main event later on, so what’s the point of having him here?

Gene is with Demolition, who says the Harts cheated. For the love of god, how did we never get Demolition vs. LOD? Seriously, this had to be the easiest lay up of a feud of all time, and we never got it.

Brother Love Show

There’s little point here. Love gets a medal from Sgt. Slaughter as we officially kick off he’s the next top heel in the Iraqi sympathizer angle that few cared about but some will say gave you one of the best Mania main events ever. He runs down Volkoff, which would lead to a match…in February I believe. This was just an odd angle that didn’t work for me due to the timing of it, as the war was over when this really got going.

Sean is with the Orient Express and Fuji who say Japan will win. This team was pretty much nothing until the masked one showed up and they started going to war with the Rockers. Those matches were freaking awesome to say the least.

Gene finds Sapphire but she goes into a locker room. She won’t talk to anyone.

Orient Express vs. Duggan/Voljoff

Pure filler here as there’s no point to this other than to further the US vs. Iraq storyline. The faces sing God Bless America as my ears bleed a bit. Duggan proves to be a patriot as this was what he’d always hit Nikolai for when it was the Soviet anthem. Now for your pop of the night (so far) Duggan says bless the troops in the Middle East. This is a very, and I do mean very, basic tag match as Volkoff gets beaten up and Duggan makes the big save after the tag and gets the pin off the three point clothesline.

Rating: D+. It was just so bland that it wasn’t any good. It was pure filler and nothing of note happens here. It wasn’t bad, just completely unnecessary.

Dusty is pounding on the door Sapphire went through but she won’t come out. He has to go to his match but he’s going to get to the bottom of this tonight.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Savage is the king at this point so he’s feuding with the Common Man, Dusty Rhodes. That’s a perfect feud for both so for once they got something very right. Rhodes’ music is just awesome. He power walks to the ring as the man chest is bouncing big time tonight. Mooney is in the back standing on a ladder to talk to Savage who is on the throne. He also talks about the rumors that are going around which he still won’t reveal.

He does say that Sapphire is smart for not wanting to spend her life with a common man. Were Sapphire and Dusty supposed to be a couple? I never quite got that. Savage comes out on the throne. I’ve always loved that entrance. How cool does it look? Savage fit this persona so well because he could back it up in the ring which isn’t something most kings could do. Savage was just so great back then.

Pomp and Circumstance fits the king gimmick so well too. Perfect match all around for him. Right as Savage gets in, you hear the best laugh of all time as DiBiase is on the stage, saying he’s going to prove everyone has a price.

Of course he’s the guy that’s been buying Sapphire everything and he puts it perfectly: “Who but the Million Dollar Man could afford to do it?” At the same time, everyone says a collective DUH! This is pure evil here and it supports my claim that he’s the greatest heel of all time. Sapphire comes out and takes a bag of money. Rhodes chases them but Savage stops him.

The match itself is about 2 minutes long and there’s nothing worth talking about. Savage starts in control, Rhodes fights back but doesn’t have the fire to do anything. However, Piper does mention that Sapphire didn’t want to be married to a common man all her life, so at least that’s some clarification. Sherri interferes and Rhodes takes a loaded purse to the head to end it.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t about the match and at two minutes it’s not fair to give it a grade. For the angle, easy A though as this was just basic heel vs. face stuff, but given the performers, it was great.

Sean is in the garage as I wonder what kind of running shoes he has because he could be the fastest man on the planet given the exercise he’s had tonight. Virgil, DiBiase and Sapphire get into the limousine and leave as Rhodes chases them. Ok more like wobbles after them, but he goes down the driveway after them. However, he can’t catch them and I always got very sad about this. It was depressing to see him lose everything he had. In retrospect, this was a great angle.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Quake comes to the ring with no real build. That’s rare to see anymore and I really like the way they’re doing it this way. After the heels are in the ring, Hogan and Boss Man are with Okerlund. Hogan says this is for Tugboat, who was the reason Hogan got the support that he did. Boss Man says the heels have the right to be served justice by Judge Hogan. Hogan compares himself to Washington and the Boss Man is Jefferson and it’s time to go!

Boss Man comes out first and the pop is so loud you can barely hear his music. For the love of goodness how loud is Hogan’s going to be? Yep, I’m deaf now. The roof gets blown off and you literally can’t understand what Fink says after Hogan comes through the curtain. All the standard Hogan stuff before we get going and the fans are so hot it’s insane. The wide shot here is awesome as it’s that little yellow thing that is causing the explosion.

Hogan should change his theme to Pac Man’s song. It’s the same idea: a yellow thing that is all over the place and at certain points is completely invincible. Sounds like it to me. Anyway, we get the bell and we’re up and running. They trade power displays and despite Hogan being announced at 302lbs, Vince thinks he’s at about 287, even though he looks exactly the same as he always has, if not a bit fat.

Very soon the two outside guys get involved and both should causes disqualifications but the referee lets it go for no apparent reason. Hogan, like an idiot, goes for a slam. Now he knows better than that. He’s WAY too healthy to do something like that. Why would he think he can do something that doesn’t go against any human sense? Come on Hulk you’re smarter than that. Wow I just said Hogan was smart. I’m working too hard I think.

Quake does a weird sequence where he goes to the top and then puts on a Boston Crab. More interference follows of course, leading to a Hogan comeback. Once again he goes for a slam and it doesn’t work, leading to the true signature Hogan match move: the sleepy hug! It must be sleepy since it needs so much rest. For some reason Hogan tries to grab at the referee and he rips his shirt. I don’t want to see Earl Hebner’s stomach, I truly don’t.

Hogan goes for a freaking cross body. Think about that for a second. That’s just weird to type let alone actually watch. Of course Hogan takes two Earthquakes before the power kickout. I love the way Earthquake hits the ropes. He just leans into them and it’s either great or lazy and I’m not sure which. Do I even need to explain what happens here?

Bravo gets the referee to prevent the pin after the leg drop though, allowing the true star of the match, the man that’s involved with Wrestleicious (ooo Wrestleicious baby!) to interfere before getting beaten up as well. At this point, it occurs to me that he and Hogan are the only two wrestlers involved in this match that are still alive. That’s a very sad thing to think of. Earthquake gets Hart thrown at him, which knocks him down.

So wait, Hogan jumping at him is an easy catch, but Hart knocks him down? Piper’s cheering for Hogan cracks me up as only in pro wrestling could you go from the feud they had to this kind of cheering in just a few years. On the floor, Hogan, in Phila-freaking-delphia of all places, slams Earthquake onto a table. This was over three years before Heyman even got to that city. I’m not even sure if Eastern Championship Wrestling was around yet.

The table doesn’t break and just falls over, but I wonder if this is what inspired ECW. There must be something in the water in that city. Seriously, what’s with the tables thing there? Anyway, Hogan wins by count out before jumping in the air like the end of a bad 80s movie. Come on now; give me some bad pop song as the shot freezes with him in the air pumping his fist. If that happened, I might have died of pure laughter. Post match…come on.

What do you think happens after the match? Actually, it’s not the most obvious answer. Quake completely no sells everything that’s just been done to him as he hits Hogan a few times and chokes him with Hogan lifted off the mat. Boss Man grabs a…I guess that’s supposed to be a chair but it looks more like a small ladder and blasts Quake a few times with it to no result.

The spinning of the nightstick of DOOM gets rid of the heels though so we can have our traditional music and posing. What made this posing thing so cool? It’s just him standing there showing off his muscles, which was odd because there were guys with bigger muscles in the company. I guess it’s just that Hogan is who he is and gets cheers for whatever he does. He could even put on a tutu and dance and it would get high ratings.

Scratch that as Mr. Nanny bombed. Hogan dances around the ring like a chicken which is something that’s going to haunt my dreams for a long, long time. As he poses Boss Man, who also was Hogan’s mortal enemy about a year ago, kind of strolls around the ring doing nothing. Piper reaffirms my faith in him as he says it was a hollow victory and that Boss Man deserves a lot of the credit.

Now I feel better as that’s the Piper I know and love. He’s right too. What did Hogan really prove? That along with another guy he can win with a count out and not get a pin like he normally would? Yeah that’s certainly a great victory.

Rating: B+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: a chance for the fans to lose their minds over Hogan. It left the door open for the rematch later with Hogan having no rust so he can beat Quake on an even playing field, but that never came at least not on PPV. This definitely should have gone on last though as there’s no doubt that this is the real main event. I remember when I was a kid I hardly ever watched the cage match after this as it just didn’t mean anything to me.

Granted I wasn’t ever much of a Warrior guy after he stole my hero’s title back in April. Anyway, this was a very fun match but from a technical standpoint, kind of sloppy, which given who’s in this, what were you expecting? Fine all around though, so this was a very solid match.

We cut to the back and see Rude with Heenan and Mooney. Rude cuts a very good promo talking about how Rocky Balboa and life imitating art. This is either off a script or great. Heenan is clearly ad-libbing, but Rude I’m not sure on.

Rhodes is here now, talking about chasing down Sapphire but not being able to catch up to her. This is a great promo, talking about how he’s been crushed and he’s only got the fans left to shelter him. This is 80s style at its best. The more promos I hear from Dusty, the more impressed I am by him.

We cut again down to Lord Alfred Hayes, who is in front of the cage that is being built and talking about how the crew is trying to break their record for building a cage, which is kind of interesting but the only thing I can think of is who gives a about the cage being built? It’s kind of different and therefore kind of cool I guess. They talk about the way the cage is put together and the weight and dimensions. That’s actually quite cool.

We go BACK to Gene, who is talking with Hulk. I miss the interview centers at PPVs. Hogan is so juiced here it’s amazing. This is a promo that makes so little sense I don’t know where to start. Hogan beat Earthquake. Ok, that’s fine. However, he says he want to be #1 contender to the WWF Title. Again, nothing weird so far. He then says that if he’s not the #1 contender yet, he’ll beat Earthquake as many times as it takes until he’s the #1 contender.

What kind of sense does that make? If that’s the case, why not get Brooklyn Brawler and beat him 1000x until you’re named #1 contender? Hogan’s promos sometimes made less sense than Warrior’s. Also, he debuts the 4th demandment: Believe in yourself. He’s getting a new surfboard too. Hogan surfing is just funny.

Roddy and Vince kill more time, talking about the cage match as Roddy actually picks Rude to win it.

We cut to the back with Earthquake, Bravo and Hart screaming at Hogan and Bossman, saying that it’s not over. Actually it pretty much was. They hooked up at Survivor Series and a very, and I do mean very, brief encounter at the end of the 1991 Royal Rumble.

For the final (and it dang well better be) interview of the night, we go to the Warrior, who has a joke. What do Heenan/Rude have in common with the Liberty Bell? One is cracked and the other is a ding dong. While it’s not funny, it’s just out there to hear from Warrior. He’s literally snarling the whole time Gene is talking.

This is not at all surprising. He says he has an inalienable right to the WWF Champion, which is a line that I really like. He’s going through the Preamble to the Constitution, which is actually really good, and comes dangerously close to making sense.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

In a cage remember. This would be Rude’s last major and perhaps last period match in the WWF as he bailed for WCW, but didn’t show up for a year. I guess he was doing indy shows or something. This was odd as he had been insulting Boss Man’s mom, paving the way for a feud between the two of them. Crowd is trying to care but they’re just so worn out from the Hogan match that I guess the break due to building the cage was a great thing for them.

Rude won’t let Warrior into the cage which is kind of stupid. You can’t win until he’s inside, so let him in. They fight on the edge, with Warrior outside and Rude inside. This is a pretty slow paced cage match where the cage is just kind of an accessory. I’m pretty impartial to matches like these, as they can be good or pretty bad, but occasionally you get a great one like at Summerslam 94. This is a far cry from that, mainly because it’s only about 11 minutes long.

That’s a bit of time, but still far from enough to really be effective and show off what the cage can be like. Maybe they’re trying to protect Warrior as they know he’s not the best in matches like this, but maybe they were just low on time. Rude gets the neckbreaker blocked for about the 112th time by Warrior which is still something the announcers have never seen before. Does Vince ever watch a match?

Rude more or less dominates here and screws up huge as he goes to the very top of the cage while Warrior is down and just sits there. He hits a big punch and knocks Warrior silly, but dang man he could have built a whole new cage in the time he had up there. It made no sense and Piper is losing his mind over how stupid it was on Rude’s part. When Piper says you’re stupid, you’re stupid. What could possibly be stupider than that? HE DOES IT AGAIN!

Good grief no wonder he never won the world title. He was too stupid to do it I guess. Anyway, Rude gets knocked down and here comes the comeback that you all knew was coming. Rude stops it though which surprises me. They go back and forth until Heenan gets in somehow and gets beaten up. NOW we get the real comeback and you know the drill here.

Piper makes an interesting question: when Warrior does the pumping press slam motion, WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN??? Warrior gets the slam and the splash and climbs out, swiveling his hips as he leaves to keep the belt. He poses with the blue/purple belt by swinging it over his head. We plug Survivor Series one more time as we go off the air.

Rating: C-. Crowd just didn’t care after the Hogan match and the 10 minute wait to put up the cage. It was an ok match but absolutely nothing of note happened here. It was exactly what you would expect and no one thought Rude had a freaking prayer. This was ok, but that’s all.

Overall Rating: A-. It’s personal bias, but I freaking love this show. You get a pure classic in the tag title match, some GREAT promos all night, although too many promos in general, a show long story, a white hot crowd, and some nice chances to catch your breath with some filler and how do you not have an awesome show? That’s the thing about filler: it can be a great tool to have, but it’s so easy to go overboard with it and if that happens, you’re in real trouble because the fans are bored.

Feuds were begun and ended, stories were advanced, and the crowd went home happy. How does that not sound awesome? Definite recommendation as they nailed the formula here: have a big card without being as serious as Mania but treat it like Mania, if that makes sense.

Smackdown
Date: July 24, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re finally done with Extreme Rules and less than a month away from Summerslam. That means it’s time to start getting ready for one of the bigger shows of the year, but first we need to have a bar fight between Sheamus and Jeff Hardy, as one of the more questionable feuds of the year continues. Let’s get to it.

Here is Extreme Rules if you need a recap.

Jeff Hardy says he is an alcoholic and is ready to face Sheamus in his newfound enemy: a bar.

Sheamus is ready to give Jeff a headache, but it’s from a Brogue kick instead of a hangover.

JBL knows what a bar fight is like and says the emotions are running higher than the blood alcohol content in an APA poker game. Points for actually managing to make this even more cringe worthy.

Here are Bayley and Sasha Banks to gloat. Sasha talks about what it means to be great but the definition needs to be changed to the two of them. After Bayley yells at some fans, Banks declares an end to the Women’s Revolution. It started with them and it’s ending with them, because they are starting a new era. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be them, but here are Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss to interrupt.

Cross rants about how sick she is of the two of them so Bayley asks if she took her rabies medicine. Even Bliss thinks it’s too much right now but Cross wants a Women’s Title shot tonight. Bayley says fine, but Cross has to face Bliss, with the winner getting the title shot next week. Cross says they have to do this and shoves Bliss down, although not out of anger.

Nikki Cross vs. Alexa Bliss

The winner gets a shot at Bayley next week so Bayley and Banks are on commentary. Cross comes in with taped ribs thanks to the ring shot on Sunday, which Banks turns into a plug for WWE Shop. Bliss gets shoved down to start but Cross can’t hit a tornado DDT. They get annoyed at each other, even as Bliss can’t hit her own DDT. Cross gets more fired up and forearms away, setting up a bulldog for two.

Bliss dropkicks her tot he floor but misses the charge and gets caught in the ring skirt. A kick to the face gets Bliss out of trouble, so Bayley and Banks shout “GET HER! GET HER!” That earns them a double knockdown and we take a break. Back with Bliss dropkicking her out to the floor as Cole and Graves laugh at the knockdown before the commercial. Bayley challenges Cole for Summerslam as Bliss kicks away at the bad ribs and drives them into the barricade to put Cross down outside.

Back in and some knees to the ribs give Bliss two before she cranks on the arm with a knee in the ribs. It’s off to a seated abdominal stretch so Cole can list off all of Bliss’ accomplishments. They really need to stop doing that as so many people have won so many titles that they lose all meaning every time you hear them.

Cross fights up but the tornado DDT is countered into a sunset bomb for two. Back up and Cross grabs a Regal Cutter for two more, followed by a reverse DDT for the same. Cross misses the high crossbody though and the ribs are banged up again. The referee goes to check on her so Cross insists she can keep going, which means a small package to finish Bliss at 14:55.

Rating: C. This was good enough and they’re planting the seeds for a Bliss/Cross split. That’s possibly their backdoor out of next week, though I’m not sure where that leaves Bayley for Summerslam. The ribs stuff was good here though, and Bayley and Banks are really entertaining on commentary, as you can tell how well they get along. It’s certainly better than Nikki screaming every chance she gets.

Post break Nikki is excited when a dejected Bliss comes in to congratulate her. Bliss says it’s time to focus on becoming the new Women’s Champion next week.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House, which starts with a package on the Swamp Fight. Bray, standing next to the Fiend lantern, says that was fun because Braun Strowman came back home. Some of you are probably worried that Braun is now trapped in the swamp, but don’t worry, because it has been certified organic. The lantern starts talking to him but Bray says its job is done for now. No he can’t let the lantern out again, because he had his chance. Now it’s his turn, because he has been unleashed. We cut to the Fiend and that’s it.

We look back at AJ Styles vs. Matt Riddle from last week.

Matt Riddle vs. Tony Nese

Riddle goes straight to the rolling gutwrench suplexes into the Broton for one. Nese knocks him down and hits a Lionsault for two, followed by a bodyscissors to keep Riddle in trouble. Back up and Nese has to knee his way out of the Bro Derek, meaning Riddle settles for a t-bone suplex. Now the Bro Derek can connect for the pin at 2:03. Nice back on track win for Riddle.

Post match Riddle calls out King Corbin to fight him right now. Cue Corbin to say the request is denied because Riddle doesn’t belong in the kingdom. Riddle still has the new car smell but after that wears off, he’s just a frat boy who looks like he just rolled out of bed. That’s why Corbin has put out a king’s ransom on his head. Riddle says Corbin has it all wrong because Corbin is the next guest on the Bro Show. Nese tries to jump Riddle and gets kicked in the head.

Miz and John Morrison try to think of hashtags to get themselves some extra attention, with Morrison’s getting rather long.

JBL talks about what a bar fight means and talks about Jeff Hardy’s career. Jeff wins tonight.

Here are Miz and Morrison for MizTV. They have been talking with a team of trend forecasters to find out what is going to trend in the future. That’s why Morrison’s jacket has a MoreMorrison hashtag sign in his shirt. He’ll be sick if that doesn’t trend. How sick you ask? Four Seth Rollins vomiting sick. With that out of the way, here is Naomi as their guest. Last week she may have lost, but Naomideservesbetter was trending after her match. Naomi thanks the fans for having her back, with Miz talking about how she went viral for returning at the Royal Rumble this year too. Miz: “But you didn’t win that match either.”

Why aren’t people talking about Lacey Evans? Naomi says the two of them are making her sick. Miz and Morrison: “How sick?” That would be five Seth Rollins vomiting sick, which Miz warns will prevent her from trending. Naomi talks about everything she puts in the ring every time and that’s why the fans are behind her.

Miz didn’t expect this kind of a confrontation, so here’s Lacey Evans as a surprise guest. Lacey thinks Naomi’s hashtag was trending out of pity and calls her washed up. Naomi shoves Lacey as she does her lipstick, meaning the fight is on with Lacey bailing. I can go with Naomi getting a push, but because of karaoke, makeup and hashtags?

We look at Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura winning the Tag Team Titles on Sunday.

Big E. is outside of the trainer’s room when Kofi Kingston comes out. He’s holding his ribs and limping because there is some bad news: he is going to be out about six weeks. Big E. promises they will get the Tag Team Titles back but Kofi wants Big E. to go do something on his own while the rest of the team is on the shelf. Kofi: “I put your meat on my meat man.” They hug and Big E. seems touched.

Gran Metalik vs. Lince Dorado vs. Shorty G. vs. Drew Gulak

One fall to a finish and the winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot against AJ Styles (on commentary). Gable and Gulak are sent outside in a hurry but the Lucha House Party fight doesn’t break out as Gulak breaks things up. Metalik hurricanranas Gulak to the floor before dodging a German suplex attempt from Gable. The rope walk dropkick gets two on gable with Gulak making a save. Dorado comes in and hammers away in Gulak in the corner as AJ says he wants to face the one who gets beaten up the worst. AJ: “It just makes sense right?”

Dorado suicide dives onto Gulak and Gable sends Metalik outside. A huge Gable moonsault wipes out everyone and we take a break. Back with Gable and Gulak going into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. Metalik comes back in and gets double teamed down but Gulak and Gable argue over who gets to stomp. The arguing lets Metalik hit a handspring elbow to take both of them down and it’s Dorado coming back in to chop away.

Metalik breaks up Dorado’s cover though and the argument is on, only to have Gable jump Metalik with a suplex. There’s one for Dorado as well and Gable is fired up. Gulak takes a third and a hard belly to back suplex gets two on Metalik. Back up and Gable gets caught in the Gulock but he climbs the ropes to reverse into an ankle lock. The grapevine makes it even worse but Dorado makes the save with a top rope splash for two. Dorado goes up again, earning himself a crotching from Gulak. Gable takes them both down though and Metalik walks the ropes for the top rope elbow and the pin on Gable at 11:47.

Rating: C+. They kept the action going here and that’s the best thing they could have done. That being said, they picked Metalik to get the title shot? Actually…..why not? One of the biggest criticisms about WWE is they can be predictable so Metalik winning here is quite the twist. He won’t win the title or anything, but points for trying something new.

Post match AJ gets in the ring and slaps Metalik in the face, earning himself a tornado DDT. Metalik holds up the title.

Video on Otis and Mandy Rose’s romance.

Shinsuke Nakamura and Cesaro are happy with their titles but they are sad about not putting Big E. through a table. It would have made a bigger splat you see. Even with Kofi being out of action, it isn’t Big E.’s time. They salute and promise to make all of the Smackdown teams go splat.

Long video on Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus.

Next week: AJ Styles defends against Gran Metalik and Nikki Cross gets another shot at Alexa Bliss.

Sheamus vs. Jeff Hardy

They’re in a local bar and Sheamus arrives first, meaning he can order a drink. Jeff arrives and asks for a cup as he sits down next to Sheamus. His brother had to delete his career and Jeff had to save his own. Rehab made him better but Sheamus says no one cares about Jeff anymore. Jeff asks if Sheamus is still the bar and says he is connected to everything. Like the window, the TV and this bar. Sheamus: “I’m the bar!” Sheamus is ready to fight so Sheamus throws a drink in his face and it’s on.

That means Sheamus gets the better of it in a hurry and hits the ten forearms over the bar. Sheamus wants a top shelf drink but the distraction lets Jeff run down the bar and dive onto him. There’s a whip into some barrels and Jeff steals the basketballs from a machine and pelts Sheamus with them. They fight into the back with Jeff having a barrel knocked out of his hands. Sheamus sends him into some walls and they head into the bathroom, with Jeff’s face going into a urinal.

Jeff one ups him by throwing Sheamus into a stall and crawling out, leaving Sheamus to scream about Hardy. Sheamus goes looking for him but gets laddered in the chest. Jeff dives off the bar again but gets rammed into the wall for his efforts. Now it’s Jeff being thrown over a set of drums and we take a break. Back with Sheamus Brogue kicking a drum and being sent into a table. The Twisting Stunner rocks Sheamus and Jeff grabs the ladder.

The bartender, the same one from the toast, jumps Jeff from behind though, earning himself a powerbomb through a table. Sheamus breaks a chair over Hardy’s back, puts his hat over Jeff’s face, and says sweet dreams. Sheamus has a drink and calls over the referee, but now Jeff’s face is painted and his eyeballs have some kind of a film over them. He gets up and hits Sheamus with a glass before climbing the ladder. The Swanton hits Sheamus for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: C. It was a good enough brawl but good grief enough with the supernatural stuff. Hardy going into some trance and suddenly having paint on his face took me way out of this as they were having a good and almost realistic fight for a long time. But then oh wait never mind because we need to tell some story or have Jeff be some weird creature. He can’t just fight up because he wants to prove people wrong and come back against the odds for the win. No no, the solution is to be smart instead, because that hasn’t gotten WWE in trouble lately whatsoever.

Overall Rating: C. Your individual taste may vary here as they seem to have a plan for Summerslam (that’s good) but some of the choices are a little out there (that’s usually bad). The action was good enough and the main event felt like a step forward for Hardy, but dang I don’t need to see anything cinematic for a LONG time to come. They do seem to be going in a few fresh directions though and right now, that is a good idea. Granted baseball’s big return is going to ravage this in the ratings anyway, but points for planting some seeds.

Results

Nikki Cross b. Alexa Bliss – Small package

Matt Riddle b. Tony Nese – Bro Derek

Gran Metalik b. Lince Dorado, Shorty G. and Drew Gulak – Rope walk elbow to Shorty G.

Jeff Hardy b. Sheamus – Swanton off a ladder

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ernest P. Worrell Memorial
Date: March 12, 2005
Commentators: Excalibur, Disco Machine

When you do this for the better part of ten years, you think you’ll never find something new to say. Then you start looking through PWG show names and realize you have no idea what you’re talking about. Worrell was a character played by Jim Varney who appeared in a bunch of movies with his name in the title. He died five years before this show took place and that is the last bit of a connection that he has with anything on this show. Let’s get to it.

I have only seen a handful of PWG shows ever so I have no idea what is going on here storyline or character wise. Please bear with me if I miss some major details.

Excalibur (yes of AEW, in case you thought it was another Excalibur) is in the ring with I believe his SBS (not sure what that stands for) stablemate Super Dragon and talks about how great it is to be back here. Apparently Disco Machine has been promoted to interim Commissioner of PWG and the last time Excalibur was here, Machine suspended him for one month without pay. That’s not good because it took money from Excalibur, while also taking away his time in front of this audience.

Disco Machine needs to get out here RIGHT NOW and decide if he’s the commissioner or part of SBS. Super Dragon jumps him from behind but here’s Disco Machine to make the save. Dancing ensues and Excalibur thanks him before Disco says they have a lot of business to take care of in PWG. Cue Hook Bomberry and Top Gun Talwar (neither are named here as there is no commentary) with Talwar shouting a lot. Talwar wants Disco Machine to stop being a boss and be a wrestler again, so all four shake hands and it’s time for an eight man tag.

Ronin/Ballard Brothers/Charles Mercury vs. Excalibur/Disco Machine/Hook Bomberry/Top Gun Talwar

We have commentary (on the second audio channel for some reason) as Disco strikes away at Mercury to start with a backslide getting two. Disco goes to the armbar as commentary talks about Mercury’s issues with credit cards (commentary isn’t exactly the highest quality here, as it seems more like they were told to do it and aren’t quite putting in their best effort). Mercury counters a springboard armdrag into a cross armbreaker but Disco is out in a hurry.

They both miss dropkicks and it’s off to Bomberry vs. Shane Ballard (in his hockey jersey ala his brother). As we hear about Shane enjoying being verbally abused by his romantic partners due to childhood bullying issues, Bomberry shoulders him down and follows with a bad dropkick. A basement version to the side of the head gets two on Shane. Talwar and Shannon come in and it’s a cheap shot from Ronin to annoy Talwar in a hurry. Everything breaks down and it’s a quadruple bite (fingers and boots) to Shannon. I’m not sure what good it does to bite someone’s boot but Excalibur never struck me as all that bright.

Talwar and Shannon trade shoulders for one each, followed by exchanges of hiptosses and armdrags until Talwar misses another armdrag. They roll around for some quick rollups each and they’re so dizzy that they can’t stand up. Talwar collapses onto Shannon’s crotch so it’s off to Excalibur vs. Ronin. One of the fans doesn’t like Excalibur so we stop for him to be upset.

Excalibur hits a dropkick and running shoulder, followed by some jumping knees to the chest. A forearm to the face puts Excalibur down though and the Brothers come in for a double Russian legsweep. As commentary debates the merits of going to Russia, Ronin splashes Excalibur in the corner and Mercury clears the good guys off the apron. Shannon charges into a boot in the corner but comes back with a DDT for two. Excalibur gets in a big boot and a cubic zirconium cutter for the hot tag off to Disco as everything breaks down.

The good guys clear the ring and load up a series of dives, with Disco and Excalibur missing, Bomberry getting kicked out of the air, and Talwar landing on the apron. Call that a rather mixed bag I guess. Mercury and Bomberry chop it out at ringside with Mercury sending him face first into a chair. Back in and Ronin’s powerslam is countered into a reverse DDT from Talwar for two with Mercury making a save. A DDT gets two on Talwar with Excalibur making a diving save. We hit the parade of secondary finishers for some near falls and Talwar turns on Disco, setting up a Whirling Dervish from Shane for the pin at 13:54.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot worse, though it still wasn’t exactly must see. They had a good amount of action, but it is rather clear that these guys don’t have the most extensive training outside of the fast paced indy style. I get why that kind of wrestling is popular, but the lack of almost anything else can get a little tiresome. Odds are that is going to be the case throughout the show, though maybe some of the others can be a little more seasoned.

Post match we’re clipped (doesn’t seem long) to Bomberry and Talwar beating down Disco and Excalibur. Talwar grabs the mic and shouts about stealing some titles….and injecting them into himself? Disco tries to fight back but the numbers get the better of him. Excalibur gets the same treatment, though points for at least trying. Disco gets up again and fights Talwar to the back.

Ricky Reyes vs. Chris Sabin

Reyes was part of the Havana Pitbulls in ROH and I’m pretty sure you know Sabin, who is making his company debut. They fight over wrist control to start and trade some flippy escapes. Excalibur dubs Reyes as the Tito Santana of PWG, which isn’t something I’m going to take lightly. Reyes grabs a headlock takeover as commentary talks about how Reyes can scout Sabin because Sabin is a regular on Impact. Fair point actually.

Sabin spins out of a double legsweep and gets two off a rollup, sending the fans into quite the applause over a standoff. Sabin forearms away in the corner and snaps off a hurricanrana to send Reyes outside. Naturally that means a suicide dive (indy show requirement) for two back inside but Reyes gets in a poke to the eye. A backbreaker gives Reyes two and he drops a knee to the chest. There’s an elbow to the face for two more and Reyes drops Sabin again for daring a sunset flip.

A loud kick to the back gets another near fall and it’s time to yell at the referee. Sabin uses the breather to come back with an elbow to the face as Excalibur talks about his love life declining. As a result, Sabin gave him some tips from the Kama Sutra. You can tell how professional this stuff is here people. Sabin comes off the top with a big diving DDT for his own two but the Cradle Shock is broken up.

Reyes grabs a bridging northern lights suplex for another near fall and they’re both down. Sabin manages an enziguri into a running diving powerbomb for a rather close two. A tornado DDT plants Sabin to give Reyes another near fall and it’s time for more kicks. Sabin shrugs them off and hits the Cradle Shock for the quick pin at 9:46.

Rating: C. I liked this one a bit more than the opener as it was a more grounded match that let them set things up a lot better. Granted the lack of six more wrestlers and an angle might have had something to do with that. Sabin is always worth a glance and Reyes has done some rather decent stuff in his own right so I’m not surprised that they had a nice match here.

Los Luchas vs. Human Tornado/Scorpio Sky

Tornado, with Dino Winwood, is replacing Sky’s regular partner Quicksilver, as the team is having some issues. Los Luchas (Zokre and Phoenix Star) have been around for the better part of ever. Zokre and Sky start things off as Excalibur talks about how he has been accused of being racist against Mexicans. With that out of the way, they trade armdrags and it’s off to Star for a dropkick to put Sky on the floor. Tornado comes in and gets springboard armdragged to the floor.

Zokre comes in for some miscommunication, followed by a headscissors. Sky is back in to pull Star out of the air into a Fujiwara armbar. Zokre kneebars Tornado at the same time but both holds are released. Sky sends Zokre outside and hits a running knee for two on Star. It’s Star being taken into the corner for a hiptoss backbreaker from Tornado. The chinlock (not a headlock Excalibur) goes on before it’s back to Sky for two off a dropkick. Star gets in a kick to the head though and it’s back to Zokre to pick up the pace.

A jumping knee to the chest drops Sky but Tornado avoids a rolling splash in the corner. Everything breaks down and Star does a handstand in the corner, leaving Sky and Tornado a little confused. Tornado walks over and pokes Star in the eye though, sending him down into a low blow on Zokre. Points for keeping it simple. Sky backbreakers Star and we hit the dancing for a bit. Zokre is back up with a middle rope double Blockbuster and everyone is down.

A surfboard to Tornado sets up a reverse Angle Slam from Star for two. Star spears Sky down for two more with Tornado making the save and sending Zokre outside. We settle back down to Tornado vs. Star, the latter of whom elbows the heck out of Tornado. A low blow has no effect on Tornado (it’s a thing with him) as everything breaks down again. Zokre breaks up Sky’s springboard and Star takes him out with a big dive.

Tornado takes them both down with a big flip dive and Zokre teases his own but bounces off the ropes instead. That leaves Sky to hit him with a twisting backbreaker, followed by a big dive of his own. Sky misses a frog splash though and everyone is back in. The Luchas tease stereo springboards but Zokre drops to the apron instead, leaving Star to hit a springboard flipping legdrop on Sky instead. Tornado breaks up Zokre’s dive but gets sent outside. That leaves the Luchas to hit a top rope Lionsault/springboard Swanton to finish Sky at 11:52.

Rating: C. That ending was rather sloppy and they didn’t exactly hide what happened. It was a fine enough spotfest match other than that but nothing that hasn’t been done better. Sky wasn’t standing out as much as he would later, though this wasn’t the kind of place for him to stand out. Fine enough match, but nothing that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles vs. El Generico vs. Kevin Steen

One fall to a finish for the #1 contendership for the World Title later tonight (the schedule had to be changed as original #1 contender Tony Stradlin was signed by WWE, where he never got out of developmental). Steen is better known as Kevin Owens and Generico is someone who knows Sami Zayn. Daniels gets a heck of a reception during the Big Match Intros and Styles’ isn’t that far behind. The MR. WRESTLING (Steen) chants start up after the bell as the fans are rather fickle here.

Steen (who is SKINNY here, as well as incredibly young) and Generico start things off and we actually have tags in a bit of a surprise. After a minute and a half of standing around, Steen takes Generico down with a front facelock. That’s reversed into a Fujiwara armbar as Excalibur talks about how he doesn’t like Generico that much. Steen switches to a headlock as Excalibur talks about loving astronomy and cooking, which somehow ties into Generico speaking French and Spanish but not English.

Generico armdrags Steen into the corner and it’s off to Daniels vs. Styles. That sends Daniels straight to the floor because he doesn’t want Styles just yet. So we can keep things moving, Styles tags Generico, who armdrags Daniels into an armbar. That lets Excalibur talk about NBA players using armdrags and the armbarring continues. Daniels chops his way out as Excalibur moves on to insulting all of Mexico, plus questioning how a luchador can be so pale.

Generico gets over to Styles for another tag so Daniels brings Steen back in. Styles slaps Steen in the face for offering a handshake (jerk) and headlocks him over. Now commentary has moved on to discussing Canadian television as Steen fights up, only to get caught in some armdrags. Back up and it’s off to Generico, who gets pulled into the corner so Daniels can keep him in trouble. Daniels even decks Steen, because Daniels isn’t that nice. It’s back to Steen for two off a snap suplex but Generico grabs a bridging northern lights suplex for two of his own.

Steen takes Generico down again and hands it back to AJ for a kick to the face/mask area. Generico blocks a suplex attempt so AJ goes with the always great drop down into the dropkick for two more. AJ goes Nexus with a McGillicutter but Daniels tags himself in and gets the two count. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back as Excalibur wraps up a two minute story about sending his dad a picture of AJ’s dropkick. Daniels drags Generico over to the corner so Steen tags himself in and unloads on Daniels to even the score from earlier. Steen grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back as the fans chant for Daniels again.

The regular chinlock goes on for a bit until Daniels elbows his way to freedom. A double clothesline drops both of them and it’s Steen bringing in AJ, with Generico nowhere to be seen. AJ unloads on Daniels with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick, followed by a neckbreaker for two. Daniels is back with a Blue Thunder Bomb for two of his own but the moonsault out of the corner into the reverse DDT puts Daniels down again.

Steen comes in for the save and gets belly to back faceplanted for two more. Daniels is back in with an Iconoclasm for two on Styles with Steen making the save this time as the tagging has been dropped. AJ sends Daniels to the floor and hits a big dive as Generico comes back in. Steen teases his own dive….and then covers Generico for the pin and the title shot at 21:19.

Rating: B. This was the first match that felt like a big deal and I can give you four guesses why that was the case. As you might have expected, AJ feels like the biggest and most polished star of the match, though Daniels wasn’t far behind. Good match here though and Steen doing the logical thing to take the pin is very fitting for him, even back then.

Next up is the Tag Team Title match but the champs, Arrogance (Scott Lost/Chris Bosh) have something to say. Before we can get to that though, the fans tell Kazarian that he’s the coolest. Kazarian is ready to introduce his mystery partner but Lost needs to announce that ROBOCOP will be here in two weeks (at the venue, not a PWG show). Bosh: “I LOVE ROBOCOP!”

Hold on though as Bosh needs to go to the floor and insult all of the different races in the crowd (seriously), including saying “and we also have our white people!”. Lost gets back in the ring and says Kazarian’s real name is…..Snake Duncan? Apparently he’s going to WWE and they’ll join him there someday. Kazarian says he knows Arrogance likes movie references, so Kazarian references Bosh’s mother having, ahem, relations with various races in HER movies. With that, it’s time to meet Kazarian’s partner.

Tag Team Titles: Arrogance vs. Frankie Kazarian/Joey Ryan

Kazarian and Ryan, the latter dubbed the Homeless Vagabond, are challenging with Ryan making a big return. Before we’re ready to go, Bosh gets in an argument with a mentally challenged fan in the crowd, allowing Excalibur to make fat jokes about Ryan. Bosh steals a large fan’s chair (off camera) as we await the opening bell. Arrogance can’t decide who starts and the referee is getting fed up of this, so commentary makes fun of El Generico.

It’s a brawl to start with Lost spearing Bosh by mistake. Lost gets sent into Bosh in the corner and Kazarian adds a corner dropkick for a bonus. The slingshot dive hits Lost as Ryan seems content to stand on the apron and applaud. Ryan comes in and Lost (Ryan’s former partner) bails in a hurry so Ryan hurricanranas Bosh instead. Bosh gets chopped over and over in the corner and Kazarian’s running neckbreaker gets two.

A missed charge in the corner lets Bosh stomp Kazarian down and Lost comes in to punch Kazarian in the face (as per Bosh’s instructions). Lost’s leg lariat gets two (Bosh: “Good s***.”) and Bosh comes back in, mocks Kazarian’s springboards, and forearms him in the back. A clothesline drives Kazarian’s back onto Lost’s raised knees for no cover, as it’s time to choke on the rope instead. Some loud laughter sets up another forearm to the back, followed by a Tarantula from Bosh.

Lost gets in a rather blatant low blow, as DQ’s apparently don’t count around here. A Stinger Splash (or close to one) connects for Bosh but Kazarian gets in a spinning sunset bomb to get a much needed breather. Ryan comes in and low blows Bosh’s top rope dive out of the air but Lost runs away from the Ryan threat. Lost tries a cheap shot to no effect and it’s Ryan cleaning house on both champs. A slam puts Lost onto Bosh and Kazarian hits a top rope legdrop onto both of them.

It’s back to Kazarian, as Ryan is fine with watching him fight both champs at once. I’m starting to think he’s not the best partner. A Stunner stuns Kazarian into a Rock Bottom into a backbreaker for two. Kazarian is back up with a twisting DDT/swinging Downward Spiral, allowing the tag off to Ryan. Some rolling German suplexes put Bosh down and a fisherman’s suplex gets two. Lost kicks Ryan off the top but Kazarian does the same to Bosh, with the latter falling out to the floor.

Lost dropkicks Kazarian but grabs his knee and falls out to the floor with the referee checking on him. Ryan uses the distraction to grab a chair, which Kazarian takes away in a hurry. Bosh knocks them into each other and BLASTS Ryan in the head with said chair. Since Ryan is who he is, he flicks his head up to check where everything is (of course) and Bosh comes in to get the easy pin to retain at 13:15.

Rating: C+. Ryan looking up at the end made me laugh quite a bit because even when he’s just a guy in tights, he has to do something to take away the realism. The match was fine enough, but it wasn’t anything that hasn’t been done better. Maybe knowing and seeing more of the backstory would help, but Ryan was just a guy in tights here, which I’ll take over the more famous persona. Just….stop doing stupid stuff.

Post match Kazarian and some trainers check on Ryan. The fans give Ryan an ovation….and he kicks Kazarian low. Excalibur tries to come in and gets shoved away, so here’s Arrogance to stomp on Kazarian as well. A failed save attempt earns Excalibur his own beating and Ryan grabs the mic. Ryan says Kazarian expects him to be the good guy, and where did that get him? He’s been on his couch eating generic knockoff Cheetos for the last month.

Trying to please the people does him no good because Kazarian cost him a chance to become a champion. The worst thing the people did was like him more than they liked Scott Lost. That caused the problems between Ryan and Lost, who is Ryan’s best friend. The fans don’t think much of the best friend deal and it’s even worse when Ryan apologizes to Lost. Ryan and Lost hug but Kazarian runs back in to chase them off. Not a bad post match angle.

PWG World Title: Super Dragon vs. Kevin Steen

Steen is challenging and jumps Dragon from behind during the entrances. Dragon’s robe is thrown down and Steen tosses him into the chairs. They get inside with Steen hitting a spinwheel kick but it’s too early for the package piledriver. Super Dragon can’t hit a curb stomp but can get a figure four necklock to slow Steen down. A basement dropkick gives Dragon two and some Kawada kicks make it worse.

Dragon grabs a full nelson with his legs, meaning some kicks to the back of the head can rock Steen again. A snapmare gets one on Steen (probably because it was a snapmare) and he grabs the rope to block a Psycho Driver (whatever that is). Dragon sends him outside but misses a flipping suicide dive for a NASTY crash (with the good visual of the fans spreading away). Steen is glad to capitalize on Dragon’s banged up knee but he needs to yell at a fan too.

More yelling at another fan lets Dragon remember what planet he’s on before Steen throws him back in. A missile dropkick gets two on Dragon and Steen puts on his own leg full nelson with kicks to the head. Steen slams him down but stops to yell at the fans again. That means a rather delayed two, followed by a neckbreaker onto the knee for the same. We hit the choking, as Steen is looking great as the cocky heel here. A flipping legdrop gives Steen two more as Excalibur talks about going to a Detroit Pistons game and knee braces called can openers.

Dragon misses a rolling kick into the corner and bangs up the knee all over again. Steen takes too much time AGAIN though and now the rolling kick knocks him out to the floor. The running flip dive connects this time and they’re both down on the floor. Back in and Dragon hits a jumping stomp to the ribs, setting up the curb stomp. The fans want another one but Steen reverses into a small package for two. Another curb stomp gives Dragon two and a top rope backsplash gets the same.

Dragon misses a Cannonball though and Steen hits a great looking moonsault for his own near fall. Excalibur chokes on some water as the dueling chants begin. Steen grabs a slingshot Downward Spiral for a very close two, meaning it’s time for the package piledriver. A quick hurricanrana into a clothesline gives Dragon his own two and they’re both down again.

It’s Dragon up first to miss a top rope stomp, allowing Steen to grab a fisherman’s buster for the next near fall. Steen hits his own curb stomp and a heck of a package piledriver gets two more. That’s the kickout that lets you know Steen isn’t winning, even as Dragon rolls outside. Back in and Steen tries the Psycho Driver (it starts with a torture rack) but Dragon slips out and grabs his own package piledriver to retain at 18:16.

Rating: B. The match was good action with some solid near falls, but at the same time there was very little feeling that Steen was going to win the title. Once Dragon kicked out of the package piledriver, there was no chance whatsoever and it showed badly. Still though, good main event indeed with Steen as a great heel, even though it’s weird seeing a heel coming in at a disadvantage after wrestling a long match earlier tonight.

We’re off the air less than fifteen seconds after the bell and with Excalibur in mid-sentence.

Before we wrap things up, the DVD also includes a set of promos from after (or maybe during) the show.

Excalibur and Disco Machine are furious about their loss but they have fixed their burned bridges. Now Top Gun Talwar and Hook Bomberry have burned their own bridges. Ronin comes in and says they were having a good match and shakes Excalibur’s hand. Excalibur talks about how that is the kind of sportsmanship you want in a professional wrestler. Not anabolic steroids like in Talwar and Bomberry. That’s more fire than I’ve ever heard from Excalibur and it wasn’t bad.

Chris Sabin talks about coming to California and he’s made a name for himself everywhere else. Tonight, he showed why he’s better than everyone else, but that was just step one.

Talwar and Bomberry want to go to Tijuana, kill a hooker, and do cocaine off of her body. Steroids are discussed and apparently Talwar has absorbed title belts. This place is weird. Talwar: “I’m on steroids! I do cocaine! I f*** hookers!”

Joey Ryan talks about how he used to come here every month and wrestle but his fans stole everything from him. They always wanted him to be a nice guy but nice guys finish last. Where did any of that get him? It got him on the shelf for six months.

Chris Bosh and Scott Lost ask for some silence for their shoot interview. Their guest is the handicapped fan from earlier, who explains that he is very smart. He has spent a lot of time online learning about the independent wrestling scene. Bosh doesn’t think much of him so they yell at each other a lot.

The fan turns his back over threats of Bosh exposing himself but is told to sit down. He flips both of them off quite a bit over his DVD choices and then ask him about ask him about his, shall we say, size. The fan lists off various sex acts in regards to Lost and then shouts that Bosh is horny, over and over again. He then howls and leaves to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B-. One of the criticisms that you hear about PWG is the lack of storylines but that wasn’t the case here at all, with more than enough to keep me into the show and knowing what was going on. That being said, a lot of the wrestling was just ok with the four way and main event being good enough to see. It’s a good enough show and at just a shade over two hours, it’s not something you can complain about all that much. Granted your Ernest tastes may vary, but overall, not bad at all and I could go for more of the company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We get an intro video similar to the opening of a regular TV show with various highlights and people enjoying the warm weather.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Dusty Rhodes talks about how the man in the blue suede shoes told him he can dance better than the Honky Tonk Man. This is a bit of a step down from Hard Times.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this deserved ten minutes should be carried into the street and shot. Between the leg lock and the WAY too long chinlock, this could have been cut in half and nothing would have been lost. Honky was fine as a jobber to the stars at this point and he would maintain that position for months to come. This was way overbooked for what it was worth, but the fans loved Dusty which is the point of the match.

Honky asks someone to help him find the stage and wants to know where Priscilla is.

Demolition and King Hacksaw Jim Duggan are ready for their six man tag against the Twin Towers (Boss Man/Akeem) and Andre the Giant.

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Survivor Series is coming.

The Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Rick Martel

This should be awesome. Martel teases getting in there against Tito to start but sends Jacques in instead. As is his custom, Jacques requests a handshake but sneaks in some choking on Tito instead. The Rockers come in without tags and the good guys hit stereo dropkicks to send the French Canadians to the floor. Things settle down to Marty vs. Jacques with the latter going to the middle rope and head faking Marty, but Jannetty is faking the head fake and punches Jacques on the way down.

Martel tries to hide in the corner but gets caught in a huge backdrop to send him running even further. A dropkick and a suplex put Martel down and the top rope right hand gets two as everything breaks down. Tito hits the flying forearm to send Martel to the floor and Marty rolls up Jacques, only to have Martel slide back in and blast Jannetty with a right hand, giving Jacques the pin.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior. Rude attacked Warrior during a posedown at the Rumble before stealing the IC Title at Wrestlemania with help from Heenan. Tonight is the rematch with rude defending against a ticked off Warrior after Warrior spent months fighting through the Heenan Family. This was also used to set up Warrior vs. Andre the Giant over the winter.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

 

Roddy Piper laughs about costing Rude the title, setting up his first feud after returning to the ring.

 

We go to an intermission, which is just a graphic with a countdown clock until the show continues.

 

 

Twin Towers/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition/Jim Duggan

 

 

 

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

 

 

Post match Garvin announces Hercules as the winner, which apparently is good enough to get Valentine disqualified. Like I said, this is the time to turn your brain off.

 

Randy Savage, Zeus and Sister Sherri gather round a cauldron and predict bad futures for Hogan, Beefcake and Liz. The late 80s were weird in case you were wondering.

 

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

 

A quick stun gun sends Snuka into the top rope and Ted can stomp away like a good 80s heel. DiBiase works on the back with knees to the spine and a backbreaker for no cover but a middle rope elbow misses. Jimmy slams Ted down and hits a middle rope headbutt but Virgil breaks up the Superfly Splash. Snuka chases him around on the floor but gets sent into the post by DiBiase for the countout.

 

Post match Snuka hits the Superfly on Virgil.

 

Genius recites a poem about Summerslam, saying he thinks Zeus and Savage (his real brother) will win.

 

Zeus/Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake/Hulk Hogan

 

 

 

 

Ratings Comparison

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Original: B+

Redo: B

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: F

Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Original: C+

Redo: D

Rick Martel/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana/Rockers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: A-

Redo: B

Jim Duggan/Demolition vs. Andre the Giant/Twin Towers

Original: C+

Redo: C

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F-

Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same this time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/23/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1989-gather-round-the-cauldron/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6