Smackdown
Date: August 18, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means it’s time to take one of the biggest matches from that show and move it here. This time around it’s Great Khali vs. Undertaker in a Last Man Standing match, as Khali might not be trustworthy to put in the ring on live television for more than about two minutes flat. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Undertaker vs. Great Khali, which does not exactly scream all time great and original feud.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Sylvan

Batista is the hometown boy and finishes with his namesake Bomb in less than a minute.

Video on the Diva Search finals from earlier this week in New York City, where Layla won. Given that she clearly had more charisma than anyone else in the competition, this shouldn’t be surprising.

MVP, surrounded by a group of women, are watching from a sky box.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Sylvester Terkay

Terkay has Elijah Burke with him and sends Scotty to the apron to start. A big boot knocks Scotty to the floor and Burke throws him back inside. Back in and Terkay grabs a standing head and arm choke, setting up a belly to belly. Hold on though as we need to pause for some water for Terkay. It seems to help as a Muscle Buster finishes Scotty.

Rating: C-. I’m never sure what to say about something like this as Terkay looked like a monster, though the match itself was a complete squash. Terkay is looking like a monster, though he isn’t the most charismatic guy in the world. Hopefully Burke can help move that forward and they are off to a pretty decent start.

We get a video on the history between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero, at least the good part of it.

Paul London and Brian Kendrick love the idea of competition but get jumped by KC James and Idol Stevens, the team who beat them last week.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Tatanka

Kennedy talks trash to start (duh) so Tatanka starts cranking on the arm. Said arm is sent into the corner and a chop puts Kennedy on the floor. Back in and Tatanka takes out the knee, followed by a hard clothesline. Kennedy is back up with some stomps in the corner before working on Tatanka’s leg, complete with mocking the war cry like a real villain. Tatanka fights up and sends him into the corner, followed by a clothesline but the knee gives out. The Papoose To Go is loaded up but Kennedy rakes the eyes for the break and rolls him up with trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. Tatanka continues to be one of the least interesting people in WWE but at least he isn’t winning anything of note. Kennedy continues to gain some momentum, which he is going to need after that long hiatus completely derailed everything. If he can step it up in the ring, they have a potential breakout star on their hands.

Video on Chavo Guerrero’s relationship with Eddie.

Vickie Guerrero begs Teddy Long to cancel Chavo vs. Rey at Summerslam but Teddy can’t do it.

Great Khali vs. Undertaker

Last Man Standing and Khali has Daivari in his corner. Khali chokes him into the corner to start and hits a clothesline (with an awkward camera cut, likely the first of several in this match). Undertaker strikes away but gets kicked out to the floor, with Khali sending him into the steps. Some right hands from the floor rock Khali though and a Stunner over the ropes make it worse.

There’s the apron legdrop into a triangle choke (from the side) but Undertaker lets go with Khali still moving. Daivari’s chair shot just annoys Undertaker, who stalks Daivari to the stage. Khali follows and the distraction lets Daivari hit a low blow. Undertaker fights out of a chokeslam but has to boot Daivari down, allowing Khali to throw Undertaker off the stage. That’s good for a nine and we take a break.

Back with Khali beating on Undertaker near the stage before taking it inside again. Khali strikes away and ties his arms in the ropes, setting up the big chop to knock Undertaker silly. Granted it takes a bit to get his arms out of the ropes so the count can begin, but Undertaker sits up at nine anyway. A running clothesline puts Khali on the floor, where he whips Undertaker into the steps.

Back in again and Undertaker hits him in the face with the steps, followed by a chair to the back to drive Khali face first into the steps. Khali is busted open and another chair shot knocks him down again. Undertaker starts going after the knee and some chairs to the head sets up the chokeslam (there’s that edit again) and Khali is done.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t great or even very good by any means, but this could have been miles worse. Granted I’m sure there was a ton of editing to make it work as well as it did, but they could have done far worse. Undertaker winning in the end was the right move as Khali got his big win at Judgment Day and will be fine going forward. Plus it completes the same formula from the Giant Gonzalez feud in 1993.

Boogeyman is back and JBL panics.

Summerslam rundown.

Vito vs. Scott Fowler

Vito puts the dress over Fowler’s head to start, dances, and drops a leg. The headlock on the mat goes on, followed by Vito flipping the dress up and down. JBL screams and it’s the Implant DDT into the armbar for the win. JBL: “AND THE LOSER IS ME!!! HIS NIPPLES ARE SHOWING!!!”

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finlay

Finlay is defending. Feeling out process to start with Lashley backing him into the ropes and knocking the champ out to the floor. Back in and Lashley hammers away but Finlay claims a poke to the eye. That’s just faking of course, allowing Finlay to hammer away. Lashley can’t see but he’s fine enough to hit a gorilla press gutbuster for two. Cue William Regal to ringside for a distraction, allowing Finlay to post Lashley and we take a break.

Back with Finlay holding a chinlock and then posting Lashley again. Finlay works on an armbar but Lashley powers up and hits a belly to belly. The one armed delayed vertical suplex (JBL: “Haven’t seen that since Rick Rude.”) but Regal gets up for a distraction. Cue the Leprechaun so Finlay picks him up, only to have Lashley spear them both down (JBL: “YOU CAN’T SPEAR A LEPRECHAUN!”). The running powerslam hits Lashley but Regal pulls the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C. They were getting to the next level by the end and there was so much going on that you felt they could do a title change. I get why they didn’t want to go there with the ending though and odds are we get the big blowoff match between some combination of these three on a special Smackdown. Lashley needs something else to do though and I don’t think the US Title is going to mean much to him at this point. He’s in a weird place where he needs to move up but there isn’t much room for him with Batista back.

Lashley cleans house post match.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell in the throne on the ring for the big close. Booker knows that Batista is coming for the title that he lost when he forfeited the title due to a small injury. Batista has no heart, passion or intestinal fortitude though, nor does he have any idea what King Booker is all about. Batista has BAMBOOZLED you people and now he has run amuck.

Now Booker has to beat Batista to a pulp, but there is an option B, which Batista can find out if he comes to the ring right now. Cue Batista, with Booker saying that option B is Batista kneel down and kiss the royal feet. Booker even has a royal foot pillow for the occasion. The shoe comes off and Batista leans forward before stepping on the bare toes. Batista puts on the robe to end the show. This was perfectly acceptable for a quick final push toward the World Title match.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird one as they had a Summerslam level match on the Summerslam go home show, but they also did their usual lower card drek along with the Summerslam push. What we got here wasn’t the worst, but it was a strange mixture of a lot of things. As usual, the top level stuff is good enough, but the stuff underneath is just hard to sit through most weeks. It’s not an awful show and Summerslam looks ok enough. The problem is that was the case coming into this show and much like Raw, it didn’t make me want to see the pay per view any more than I already did.

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https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/breaking-wwe-announces-next-three-wrestlemania-dates/

This year’s show has been moved to Tampa over two nights (April 10/11), next year is back in Dallas and the following year is in Los Angeles.  The wife and I are already planning to head to Tampa and Dallas next year.  I love the kid in a candy store feeling of this day each year.

Anyone else going to any of them?

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 15, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we need a title match set. In this case that is likely to mean something involving Sabu, Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam, the latter of whom returned last week to interfere and break up a #1 contenders match between the others. Other than that, expect the ECW Originals to look really pathetic. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Van Dam returning last week and taking out Sabu and Angle.

Paul Heyman, with Big Show, announces that Angle has suffered a torn groin muscle and will not be wrestling in tonight’s triple threat #1 contenders ladder match. Instead it will be Sabu vs. Van Dam and it will be EXTREME. And that, unless he has an interview or pre-taped segment, is the last we’ll see of Angle in WWE for over ten years.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mick Foley as our designated guest star of the week. Foley talks about Ric Flair being invited to come here tonight but Flair seems to have turned down the offer. With Flair not here, Foley has the chance to talk about Flair’s accusations that Foley was nothing until he fell off the Cell. Foley remembers it differently, because he was thrown off and put on a stretcher but he wasn’t quitting because he would have thought less of himself.

What Flair has never understood, Foley’s career is built around being able to look in the mirror. Foley is doing that on Monday morning and as busted open as he will be, he is going to like what he sees. Foley may be a bestselling author, but the words I-Q-U-I-T are not in his vocabulary. Since there is no Flair here though, Foley has some guests tonight.

First up is Kelly Kelly, followed by Melina. It’s time to do something Foley has never done before: a three way dance! This goes as well as you would expect, including Flair running in to go after Foley and send him into the steps. Foley is bleeding from his mouth as Flair chokes him with his belt. Flair swears the Foley will quit at Summerslam before walking away. They were both feeling it here.

Shannon Moore tells us to question authority.

CM Punk vs. Justin Credible

Credible actually gets an inset promo, promising to prove that Punk’s debut win was just a fluke. The fans are WAY into Punk and he strikes Credible down in a hurry to start. A running clothesline in the corner connects, followed by a running knee. Credible counters a spinning high crossbody into a gutbuster but Punk slips out of a suplex. The running knee in the corner sets up the Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice for the pin. This would be it for Credible, as the Originals lose another, meaning nothing is really going to change.

Video on Rob Van Dam.

Rob Van Dam is sitting on a ladder, where he talks about wanting the ECW Title back. Nothing is going to stop him, no matter how homicidal, suicidal or genocidal. Then he’s going on to Summerslam to take the ECW Title from Big Show.

Rene Dupree says he’s a beautiful man, but now he is going to prove that he’s hardcore.

FBI vs. Mike Knox/Test

Kelly Kelly is here with the non-Italians. Knox takes Nunzio into the corner and slams him down without much effort. The stomping is on and it’s off to Test for a backbreaker into a side slam. Mamaluke comes in so Test kicks Guido in the face and TKOs Mamaluke for the pin. Total squash.

Post match Tommy Dreamer and Sandman run in to clear the ring. Knox hides behind Kelly that’s what he does.

Video on Sabu.

Sabu is ready for Big Show and will sacrifice anything to win.

Heyman is giving Big Show a pep talk when Kurt Angle runs in to go after both of them. Security takes him down and Angle is handcuffed and arrested. Show wants to press charges. So I’m guessing that’s it for him.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

Ladder match with the winner facing Big Show for the title on Sunday. Sabu doesn’t look thrilled with the fans grabbing at him on the way in but he dives at Van Dam’s leg to start. We get a wide shot of the contract and the lights in the arena are really low despite a decent crowd. Either they’re focusing on the ring more so than usual or no one showed up for ECW. Rob kicks away but gets crotched on top.

In something that makes sense for Van Dam, he tried to jump from the top to grab the contract. It doesn’t work of course, but points for trying something different. Sabu clotheslines him to the floor but Rob is right back with a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his face. Back from a break with Sabu sending him face first into the ladder and driving him into the ladder again with the Arabian facebuster. Rob shoves the ladder over though and then drops Sabu onto it, setting up the spinning legdrop.

The ladder is monkey flipped onto Sabu to put them both down but Rolling Thunder only hits ladder. There’s the Triple Jump Moonsault but the Atomic Arabian Facebuster only hits ladder. Rob gets pulled off the ladder but he kicks Sabu down and hits a quick Five Star. That means Van Dam can go up but here’s Big Show to put him through a table. Show orders the contract down so Sabu dives onto show and pulls it down for the win.

Rating: C. The ending wasn’t exactly in doubt here as they had built up Sabu for weeks, but Van Dam is the kind of person who could get into a major title match at the drop of a hat. They also did a nice job of throwing in a fresh ending, which is so rare in a ladder match. It was smart to put Sabu in a match like this to protect him and I’d assume that is going to be the same on Sunday.

Show destroys Sabu again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a bit better show than in recent weeks, mainly because one of the ECW people actually won something for a change. You can see the writing on the wall (it’s in REALLY big letters) around here though as ECW is going under in a hurry. Van Dam, Sabu and maybe Dreamer are about all the original brand has to offer and I’m not sure how much longer they are going to matter anyway. Not a terrible show here, but that feels like a rarity instead of a good sign for the future.

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We’re back with another Impact pay per view, even though the point seems to be to make another company’s World Champion look good. This time around the focal point is the invading Kenny Omega, will will team with the Good Brothers against Impact World Champion Rich Swann, Chris Sabin and Moose, after Alex Shelley was forced out of the show for unclear reasons. The rest of the card looks ok so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Brian Myers vs. Josh Alexander

This was thrown in this week on Impact since every pay per view needs a pre-show match these days. Myers beat Alexander via DQ and bragged about it so we’re having this for the sake of shutting him up. I’m not sure what Impact sees in Myers but there are far worse places he could be than in the pre-show match. Alexander is going to need a boost soon so we could have something going here.

I’m going to take Alexander here as there is no reason for this to drag on for another match. As much as he has been featured, Myers isn’t being pushed to the moon so they aren’t likely to give him anything here. The match will likely be on about the same level as a regular TV match and that’s all it needs to be given where they are here. It probably didn’t need to be here, but Alexander can get your attention well enough.

Eric Young/Deaner/Joe Doering vs. Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/Cousin Jake

It isn’t a good sign when my first reaction to a match is “at least they’re keeping it all here” but that’s about as good as I can go with this. We have Dreamer being Dreamer, the epic Deaners split, Doering (he was big in Japan, right up there with Jesse and the Rippers) and Young as some kind of mastermind because this company loves him very much. It’s also Old School rules, because they can’t say Extreme and Dreamer can’t do much else.

I’ll go with Young and company as for some reason this seems to be one of the upcoming big things. Young is tolerable enough in some spots, though the love affair with Doering isn’t exactly doing much for me. Adding in the turned Deaner isn’t going to make things better, but if they can keep all of this stuff crammed into one match, it could be a lot worse than what we’re getting.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

This feud MUST continue and this time it’s Barbed Wire Massacre because when you think Edwards, you need something like this thrown in. I know this is viewed as some legendary rivalry but it feels like they are just warming it up because neither has anything to do. Edwards is able to carry almost anything to at least watchable, but as soon as I heard the barbed wire deal, I could hear Josh Matthews with his machine gun delivery taking away any impact it might have.

Give me Callihan to win, likely thanks to Ken Shamrock because we need another evil alliance to triumph. Shamrock and Callihan are somewhat intriguing, but I don’t need a Barbed Wire Massacre to make it work. The match should be good enough and odds are Alisha will get involved, but I’ve been over this feud for a good while now because it ran out of steam years ago.

Ethan Page vs. Karate Man

We continue with the “why is this a thing” section, but in this case Page has so much charisma that he can manage to face himself and make it work. I’m going to assume this is a cinematic match and Page’s way out of the promotion, but you never know with something like this. The Karate Man stuff alone is always worth a look, but I’m almost scared of what to see here.

Since they’re facing each other, I’ll go with Karate Man to win and get rid of Page once and for all, which should make your head spin at least a little bit. There is a chance that we could be in for some good jokes here and under the right circumstances, this could be one of the best things on the entire show. Page is awesome at his goofy stuff, and hopefully he gets to showcase himself well on the way out.

X-Division Title: Manik(c) vs. Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju

This is part of one of those stories that works out well almost every time because it’s a classic. Bey and Raju are convinced that Manik is TJP (because Manik is TJP) but can’t beat him or prove it, meaning their frustration factor has increased about 17 fold. Now it’s a free for all for the title, which opens up a few interesting doors as they could go in a few different directions.

I think they’ll play it safe here and have Manik retain the title because there are more places to go with something like this. Manik is someone who can have a good match with anyone and Bey is one of the better young stars around here. Raju has been rather nice as well lately, so we could be in for something good. This might be the match with the most promise on the whole show and I can’t say I’m surprised.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Nevaeh/Havok vs. Kiera Hogan/Tasha Steelz

Who would have thought that a tournament for the vacant titles would come down to two of the only regular teams who happened to be feuding for weeks before the tournament started? Hogan and Steelz have done a nice job of being the most annoying heels imaginable, which made Havok and Nevaeh grabbing them by their throats that much better. This was almost a guarantee for the final, so at least they’re doing the logical thing.

I’ll take Havok and Nevaeh to win here as you need some faces to win on this show. It isn’t the most intriguing match on the show but it was the only way to go to get to the tournament finals. I’m not sure how far these titles can go as WWE hasn’t been able to make theirs work for years now. The match will be the same thing that we’ve seen several times between them now but….yay belts?

Rosemary/Crazzy Steve vs. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K

This seems to have been added near the last minute and I’m still trying to make myself care about Dashwood. The Instagram deal is fine, but it feels like something you would see at a tiny independent promotion because it’s that easy of a story. There is no doubt that the talent is there, but for some reason it isn’t clicking. You can only get so far with something like this though and I think we’ve reached her current limit.

I don’t see a reason for Kaleb With A K and Dashwood to win here, even though they need it a lot more. Rosemary seems to be building up something with Susan, so unless she interferes and costs them the match, I don’t see a reason to have Rosemary and Steve lose here. The match itself should be another TV level match, which is quite the trend for most of this show.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo(c) vs. Taya Valkyrie

The Knockouts singles division has done well enough for itself in recent months and Purrazzo is awesome as the technical wizard champion. Valkyrie is almost the old guard in a way, despite her title reign not even feeling all that long ago. While her big reign is over, Valkyrie can go in the ring with anyone and Purrazzo is one of the best things going in the company today.

Purrazzo being one of the best things going today is more than enough to keep the title on her here. Beating Valkyrie is more along the lines of beating a challenger of the month, but she just happens to be a really successful challenger of the month. It means something to beat her though and Purrazzo can continue her reign with another rather nice win added to her list.

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers vs. Rich Swann/Chris Sabin/Moose

This whole invasion (if that’s what you call Omega and Omega alone showing up from AEW) is making me think of Lando Calrissian saying “this deal is getting worse all the time”. So far, the highlight of the feud for Impact is their World Champion escaping with a pin over their Tag Team Champion. Omega and Don Callis have been treated as stars who are gracing Impact with their presence. I know it gives Impact exposure, but this is feeling more like New Japan coming to Ring of Honor every day (and that’s not a good thing).

Of course Omega and the Good Brothers win here, because why would they lose here? I know this is probably heading towards Omega taking the Impact World Title, as that is the best way to continue making Impact look like they don’t compare to AEW in any way. Yes AEW is more important and Omega is a bigger star, but sweet goodness could Impact look much worse so far?

Overall Thoughts

This show looks pretty dreadful on paper as there is nothing of note to look forward to. I’m sure some of the matches will work as Impact tends to shine when they just go to the ring and focus on the wrestling, but nothing on here really jumps out. Hopefully the show winds up working, because this feels like they have almost no reason to do this show other than they have to. It will likely be good enough, but they need to work on spicing things up.

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Smackdown
Date: January 15, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re well on the way to the Royal Rumble and that means things are getting all the more interesting day by day. Last week took a surprise turn as Roman Reigns helped Adam Pearce become the new #1 contender to Reigns’ Universal Title. There is a good chance that the spot could go to someone else, but Pearce getting the match wouldn’t stun me either. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Roman Reigns destroying Kevin Owens and making Adam Pearce #1 contender by attacking Shinsuke Nakamura.

Reigns is reading the contract for the Royal Rumble match but doesn’t seem happy. Paul Heyman says it’s the same contract Reigns always signs with a different name. Reigns still isn’t pleased, so Heyman suggests adding a stipulation. That seems to work for Reigns, who hands Heyman the contract to solve. Reigns glares a lot.

Here’s Jey Uso for a chat. He says this is the Bloodline Show because his family runs this show. Adam Pearce needs to be careful or he is going to find out the hard way at the Royal Rumble. Everyone in the back should be thanking Roman for everything from the towels to the food at catering to the millions of people watching every week. Now it’s time to expand, with Jey entering the Royal and planning to go to Raw and become the new WWE Champion at Wrestlemania.

Now people are talking about Shinsuke Nakamura’s performance last week, when Nakamura beat everyone in front of him….until the Bloodline cut him off. Nakamura should be thanking them because they kept Nakamura alive. So now Nakamura wants to fight? Come on now and get ready to leave on a stretcher. Cue Nakamura (with the non-lyric music again) to say if Reigns is the big dog, that makes Uso his little puppy. Nakamura kicks him in the head and bows.

Jey Uso vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

They strike it out to start with Nakamura snapmaring him down and grabbing a headlock. Back up and Uso gets in a shot to the face, followed by a kick to the head to rock Nakamura again. Nakamura comes back and grabs a chinlock….as Cesaro comes down. Uso gets knocked outside and sent into the announcers’ table as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro on commentary as Jey sends Nakamura back inside. Uso stomps away as Cesaro talks about coming out for the save last week after the show was over. The running Umaga attack hits in the corner but Nakamura kicks him down. The knee to the rib puts Uso down again and Nakamura hits the sliding German suplex out of the corner.

Uso is right back with a Samoan drop and a neckbreaker gets two more. Nakamura kicks him away again and hits the middle rope knee for his own two. Kinshasa is blocked with a superkick but the Superfly Splash hits knees. A charge hits post so Uso grabs a rollup with his feet on the rope but gets caught at two (I bought that as the finish). Uso yells at the referee and gets Kinshased for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: B-. These two went back and forth here and they had a good one as a result. The best thing about it was I didn’t know who was going to win until the finish, which is not something you would usually expect from Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jey Uso. It shows you how far Jey has come, but also how far Nakamura has fallen. Hopefully that can be corrected a bit in the weeks to come, but you never can tell with Nakamura.

Cesaro poses with Nakamura post match.

Sonya Deville goes over the contract with Adam Pearce when Heyman comes in with his own contract. Heyman talks about the opportunity that Pearce has and even says that the stipulations are in Pearce’s favor. If Pearce signs, the match can be No Disqualification. Pearce doesn’t buy the sales pitch but signs anyway, telling Heyman to have Reigns sign as well.

Uso yells at Charles Robinson for messing up the count and threatens him for not doing his job.

The Street Profits are not happy with their loss last week but they are certainly not scared. They held some kind of Tag Team Title for 312 days and they are not going to insult the team that took the titles from him. We hear some of the nicknames they have for Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode, such as RuDolph and Entertainment Dysfunction, but now they are called champions. The rematch is coming.

Heyman is back in Reigns’ dressing room (with Apollo Crews as well) and isn’t interested in a No DQ match. Instead, he wants a Last Man Standing match. Reigns says then he’ll consider this handled and then starts talking to Crews.

Commentary is confused by Reigns and Crews being friends too.

We recap King Corbin attacking the Mysterios.

Natalya vs. Liv Morgan

Tamina is with Natalya and Billie Kay, in punk rock (I guess?) gear is here with the Riott Squad to sit in on commentary. Morgan sends her into the corner as Kay gives a history of her “mosh pishing”. Natalya gets frustrated and hammers Morgan down into the corner so she can shout about this not being a joke. A small package gives Morgan two but Natalya is back with an over the shoulder backbreaker.

That’s broken up and an enziguri sends Natalya into the corner, setting up some stomping. This also lets commentary bicker about what it means to call Natalya the BOAT, because that’s still a thing. Morgan kicks out of the Sharpshooter and hits the Codebreaker for two. Kay goes over to yell at Tamina and even gets in the ring, with the distraction allowing Natalya to grab a rollup for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: D. This is rapidly becoming one of the dumbest stories on either show at the moment with Kay being annoying as well as causing us to have to watch more Natalya and Tamina. Why we need these women to always have random best friends of the month is beyond me, but in theory this is all leading to an IIconics reunion. As in the team that NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN BROKEN UP IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT WWE HAS NO IDEA HOW WOMEN OR TAG TEAMS WORK.

Rey Mysterio vs. King Corbin

Dominick Mysterio is on commentary as Corbin hammers away in the corner to start. Corbin gets in a quick dropkick but is sent outside, where Corbin runs him over with a clothesline. After a shout at Dominick, Corbin takes it back inside and gets frustrated at Rey for kicking out. Corbin punches him down again, shouts down at Dominick, and gets the air in front of his knee dropkicked out.

Rey’s springboard spinning crossbody is pulled out of the air but Rey gets onto his shoulders and scores with a hurricanrana. The 619 is countered into Deep Six for two and Corbin is upset. Rey sends him outside where Corbin decks Dominick, earning himself a 619. That sends Dominick into the post or steps though, which draws him inside to go after Corbin. Rey calls him off but Corbin drives them into each other, setting up the End of Days for the pin on Rey at 5:00.

Rating: C. This is the kind of place that Corbin can be valuable, as this is more about being a bully and causing problems for people without being the big centerpiece. They could be teasing Mysterio vs. Mysterio, though I’m not sure if I want to see that go down. Dominick needs to do something though, because he really doesn’t have anything to him other than being Rey’s son.

Rey looks upset but lets it go.

Heyman and Pearce run into each other again with Heyman pitching the Last Man Standing match. Pearce thinks about it but Heyman says Pearce and Reigns can talk about it in the ring tonight. For now though, Heyman is considering this handled.

Dominick doesn’t like Rey backing down from a giant but Rey says think about this. You don’t pick a fight with someone like Corbin without a plan. He’s a former US Champion! Rey has an idea though.

And now, the debut of Ding Dong Hello with Bayley (in glasses and some kind of sweater and blazer for a change), who says this is already bigger than Wandavision. Her guest is Bianca Belair, who has to come through the stand alone door, complete with doorbell. Belair takes Bayley’s chair and says Bayley has good taste in furniture.

Bayley promises to win the Royal Rumble and shows us a clip of her beating Belair. We hear about the EST name, which seems to annoy Bayley. The challenge for a rematch is thrown down, but Bayley would rather have an obstacle course, which is of course accepted. I can’t stand talk shows, but Bayley was rather funny here with the costume making it that much better.

Earlier today, Daniel Bryan was training with the Alpha Academy and said something about Nakamura. Cesaro came up to say that Bryan isn’t Nakamura’s friend and a match was set for tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro

They start fast with Bryan grabbing the arm and taking it to the arm with an armbar. Some knees to the shoulder keep Cesaro down but he’s right back up with a hard slam for a breather. Bryan is right back with a monkey flip into the ropes, with Cesaro’s head almost landing on Bryan’s. That’s enough to send Cesaro outside, where Bryan takes him down with a dive. Bryan’s big kick to the head hits the post though and we take a break.

Back with Bryan taking Cesaro down into the YES Lock but Cesaro powers out. The Swing sets up the Sharpshooter but Cesaro tries to switch into a Crossface as Bryan reaches for the rope. Bryan reverses that into the YES Lock, sending Cesaro’s foot into the rope for the break. Cesaro is put up top and manages to reverse a superplex into a spinning superplex (ala Kevin Owens) for two, using the good arm in the process. Bryan grabs a backslide for the same and then kicks Cesaro down hard. A quick pop up uppercut drops Bryan though and the Neutralizer finishes Bryan clean at 11:48.

Rating: B-. Well ok then. That’s not the kind of thing I would have expected and while I have little confidence in having Cesaro go anywhere, it is nice to see him getting a chance at least for a night. Odds are this is designed to give Bryan a chip on his shoulder on the way to the Rumble, but I’ll take Cesaro getting a huge win in the process.

Carmella talks trash about Sasha Banks, who runs up to go after her. Reginald gets between them so Banks says Carmella can have her rematch, assuming Sasha can face Reginald first.

Apollo Crews vs. Sami Zayn

Before the match, we see a clip of Paul Heyman giving Crews a pep talk on Talking Smack after last week’s loss to Big E. Heyman told Crews to come back like a man with the Intercontinental Title and it seemed to get Crews’ attention. Sami has his documentary crew with him and Big E., with a fruit cup and a Ghostbusters sweater, is laying on a couch to do commentary.

With all of those details out of the way, Crews dropkicks Sami down to start and tries the Toss Powerbomb but Sami grabs the rope. Sami sends him outside for some shots to the face buts Crews sends him face first into the announcers’ table. There’s a moonsault off of the table to keep Sami in trouble and they head back inside. Crews gets caught on top so Sami can choke away in the corner, followed by a top rope elbow to the head.

A quick German suplex gets Sami out of trouble and there’s a step up enziguri. The standing moonsault hits Sami’s knees though and he grabs a rollup, with trunks, for two (the referees are being attentive tonight). Sami suplexes him into the corner but the Helluva Kick is countered into a rollup with a lot of pants to pin Sami at 3:17.

Rating: C-. I could go for Crews being a new Paul Heyman Guy, as Heyman probably has the time to spread out a bit. That and having Crews as a heel might be the next move for him, as it’s not like anything else he has been doing has been working in recent months. There is something there with him, and a showdown with Big E. could go rather well.

Post match Big E. isn’t pleased, and Crews picking up the Intercontinental Title doesn’t make things better.

Next week: Crews gets an Intercontinental Title shot, plus Bayley vs. Bianca Belair in an obstacle course challenge.

Here are Roman Reigns and company for the contract signing with Adam Pearce. In a nice touch, Pearce comes out with no music, because he really doesn’t have a personality. Pearce sits but Reigns wants his chair. Jey gets Pearce out of the chair to give it to Reigns, because he is sitting at the head of the table. They both sign, with Reigns smirking a lot. Pearce says he has been waiting all night for Reigns to do that, picks up the contract, and leaves.

Pearce starts limping on his way up the ramp, saying it’s an old injury that flare up every now and then. However, all WWE contracts say “card subject to change”, an as a WWE official, Pearce will find a suitable replacement for Reigns. That’s just what he has in mind, so cue Kevin Owens to sign the contract to face Reigns at the Rumble in the Last Man Standing match. Just like Raw has done a few times in recent weeks, the show cuts off during commentary’s closing line. Fair enough on the switch, and it worked well enough as a way to get Owens another match.

Overall Rating: B-. Smackdown is not a perfect show and there are some problem areas up and down the card, but it gets its job done. They are setting up some feuds at varying levels and do enough nice things to keep me interesting. The most important thing is they never come off like they’re trying too hard. Raw has such a bad tendency to try to do some massive angle or story and falling on their face. Smackdown is much more slow and steady, with good ideas that are executed at a higher level. That is what they did here, and the show worked as usual.

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Jey Uso – Kinshasa

Natalya b. Liv Morgan – Rollup

King Corbin b. Rey Mysterio – End of Days

Cesaro b. Daniel Bryan – Neutralizer

Apollo Crews b. Sami Zayn – Rollup with tights

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This is another one of the more important ones as you need a good feud to make people care about what they are going to be seeing. If you can find a hot rivalry, it can carry the entire promotion on its back, which is one of the more important as well as difficult things to do. There were some good ones to pick from in 2020 so let’s get to it.

As usual, in no order until the winner at the end.

Kenny Omega vs. Hangman Page

This is a rather simple concept turned up to eleven, which is where AEW can shine. They were partners, then Page started going nuts with paranoia over not being elite and they dropped the Tag Team Titles. Page lost to Omega in the finals of the #1 contenders tournament, but it seems that this is going to be revisited later. This was all about the deep storytelling and drama between the two of them, which made for some great moments week to week between the two of them.

Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso

I had to decide between this one or Reigns vs. Owens, because Reigns was good enough to be on the list twice. There was one difference though: the Owens feud was always going to be good because you know what Owens can do. This was Jey Uso having a crazy good pair of World Title matches on pay per view. Just the surprise of seeing something like that made the feud that much better and it’s enough to get the win here.

Eddie Kingston vs. Jon Moxley

This one was built almost entirely on the promos but then the match was good enough to carry its own weight. There wasn’t a ton of drama about Kingston becoming champion, but that is not always a bad thing. It was about the journey instead of the conclusion, and Kingston’s promo work was among the best, if not the very best, of the year. Moxley did his thing too, but this was the Kingston show.

Randy Orton vs. Edge

This is another one where I had to pick one over the other, as Drew McIntyre and Orton had a rather long feud of their own. I liked this one better than, if nothing else because it didn’t drag on as long. Throw in that I was one of the few who liked the Last Man Standing match and it was a heck of a way to bring Edge back. Granted I hope they don’t relaunch it again when he is healed up, but it worked out well here.

Team McAfee vs. Undisputed Era

Earlier on I said that you were going to see McAfee’s name in this a lot and that is going to be the case here again. What was originally going to be Ridge Holland turned into Pete Dunne (at least that seems to be the case) and Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch with McAfee as the mouthpiece against the best faction NXT has ever seen. They had a great singles match and then a great WarGames match with the promos being even better. It came and went in a hurry, but what we got was great.

However, there was one thing that was built up and then paid off very well too.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

These two have been joined at the hip for years and that is likely going to be the case for a very long time to come. They spent most of the year as friends, dominated the title scene, and then Bayley turned on her before Banks could do it, which is a rather brilliant way to go. The matches were very good but the story was better, because the history was there. That’s what makes a great feud exceptional, and that’s what they did here.

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Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re finally to one of the more important shows ever and the main event is a two horse race. This is clearly the year of John Cena or Batista and either one is a great option to win. They’re owning their shows right now and both of them seem to be locks to walk out of Wrestlemania with the World Titles. Predictable does not mean bad though and that seems to be the case here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at great Rumble endings as a clock counts down. After it reaches zero, we see….well more of the same actually but there are so many historic Rumble moments that it works just fine.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Nothing wrong with a grudge match. Edge blames Shawn for him not winning the World Title and has taken out some aggression on him. They get started fast with Shawn clotheslining him to the floor and skinning the cat so the vest can come off. Back in and the announcers argue over whether or not Shawn is a champion hog. Edge gets in a swinging neckbreaker and the fans are all over him early on.

A Thesz press and right hands let Shawn throw him over the top for a nice mini moment. Shawn’s baseball slide misses though and it’s the Edge-O-Matic on the floor to knock him silly. Back in again and the fans stay behind Shawn as they’re certainly loyal. Edge gets two off a sitout powerbomb so it’s off to a rear naked choke. Well a chinlock with a bodyscissors because it’s Edge but close enough.

It’s switched to a regular chinlock and a slam, allowing Edge to strike Shawn’s pose. Shawn is annoyed but walking into a big boot makes it even worse. A clothesline takes Shawn down again as he can’t get anything going here. Another chinlock is broken up in a hurry and Shawn scores with a knee lift and some atomic drops. Ten right hands in the corner set up the catapult for two but Shawn has to stop Edge from walking out. It’s either a ruse or bad timing though as Edge gets in the spear on the floor.

Shawn beats the count back in and Edge….dances? That’s certainly a new one. What isn’t a new one is the spear (complete with tuning up the band, though JR insists that Edge has no band), which only gets two. A superplex is broken up though and Shawn drops the big elbow. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop (nice counter) and the Edgecator goes on. Shawn makes the long and slow crawl to the rope (Lawler: “He was going to tap and the rope happened to be there!”) but Edge grabs a rollup and a rope for the cheating pin.

Rating: B. It’s a nice mixture of action and storytelling here as the match was good and edge cheated to win, which is what makes perfect sense for him. Edge hit everything he had on Shawn to try and win clean and then went with the cheating to put him away. That’s exactly what Edge would do because he’s so obsessed with getting a win so well done on the opener.

Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long argue over which brand will win the Rumble. With that out of the way, we get Torrie Wilson and Christy Hemme to stand there while wrestlers come in to draw their numbers. Ric Flair and Eddie Guerrero come in first with Flair dancing and having the girls blow on his ball (make your own jokes). Flair is thrilled with his number so Eddie hugs him without drawing his own number. For the sake of convenience, Flair checks his number again and finds a bad one. The chase is on.

Heidenreich is freaking out over caskets when Gene Snitsky comes in. They like each other and Snitsky has an idea. The tone of voices sound like…..never mind.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Heidenreich is the latest monster and Undertaker has beaten him a few times but since WWE can’t just let him go, we get a casket match. As luck would have it, Heidenreich is terrified of caskets so he’s been running around in panic for weeks now. What a great way to present a monster.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Casket match of course with druids bringing the casket out. Undertaker grabs a headlock and starts dragging Heidenreich towards the casket so at least he’s going smart early on. An armdrag into an armbar has Heidenreich close to the casket again as you can see a lot of empty seats popping up. Undertaker switches to the leg with a half crab so Heidenreich crawls to the rope, which is in front of the casket. No one ever accused him of making sense.

They head outside with Undertaker going face first into the casket as Heidenreich still isn’t coming off as interesting. Back in and Heidenreich hammers away in the corner while shouting that this is his world. Undertaker seems to disagree by grabbing a triangle choke on the top rope. Cue the taped up Snitsky to make the save and the double teaming is on. The casket is opened and Kane wakes up from his nap to pop out and make the second save.

Kane and Snitsky fight into the crowd as Heidenreich kicks the casket up the aisle. Undertaker goes knees first into the steps and it’s time to peel back the mats so we can get more violent. Heidenreich crushes him with the casket and it’s a cobra clutch to knock Undertaker out. Undertaker goes into the casket but keeps an arm out so the comeback can start.

The apron legdrop onto the casket onto Heidenreich gets the fans back into things but Undertaker walks into the swinging Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich covers due to general numbskulledness and Undertaker makes another comeback, this time with a bad looking running DDT. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish Heidenreich.

Rating: D. It’s not good, but this could have been a lot worse. Heidenreich got in some offense and didn’t feel as much like a chore to watch this time around, but this feud was done a month ago. The Kane and Snitsky stuff was pretty early on so the match was almost divided in half with a short piece in the middle. Somehow, we’ll call this better than expected, though that’s not the highest expectation.

Long demands Eddie give Flair’s number back and Evolution comes in to make it happen. Eddie gives it back and almost gets away with Flair’s wallet. With Eddie gone, HHH wants to talk to Batista about the Randy Orton match but Batista wants to go get his number first. HHH says NOW and Flair has to intervene.

Long comes back in to see Bischoff as Christian and Tyson Tomko are ready to draw their numbers. Christian and Tomko say they both signed a petition to get rid of Long and then draw. As Christian is happy, here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena to Bischoff: “Loved you in Boogie Nights.” Christian wants a battle rap of all things and tells Tomko to give him a beat. Tomko: “No.” Christian manages to rhyme Transylvania with Wrestlemania but Cena goes with the gay jokes to win the audience’s approval.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending. Angle chills on the floor to start and JBL actually starts swinging at Show. That’s quite courageous of him. Stupid as it works as well as you would expect, but courageous. Show catches him with a slam out of the corner and the legdrop gets two with Angle making a fast save. That’s fine with Show, who is right back up and knocks the two of them outside.

JBL gets posted and the power of the big hips knock Angle away as it’s all Show in the early going. Show sets up the steps next to the announcers’ and I don’t see this ending well. The super chokeslam is loaded up but Angle hits him low, setting up a monitor shot to knock Show through the table. Angle and JBL get back in with Angle grabbing an armbar, which feels a little out of place a giant just fell off the steps and through a table.

Some German suplexes fit the bill a bit better but the Angle Slam is escaped. JBL’s big boot gets two but Show is back in with a double clothesline. Show starts throwing the two of them around and another double clothesline connects for good measure. A double chokeslam is broken up though and it’s a Clothesline From JBL/chop block from Angle to put the giant down again. Angle is smart enough to hit a quick German suplex to drop the champ, followed by an Angle Slam to Show for no cover as Angle’s back is hurt.

Show is back up with a chokeslam for two, followed by a tackle to put JBL through the barricade. That leaves Angle in the ring with a chair but a charge lets Show flapjack him onto it. Cue Jindrak and Reigns to go after Show as the Cabinet is here to put JBL on a stretcher. Show fights the two of them up the aisle, leaving Jordan to throw JBL back inside. The Clothesline From JBL puts Angle down to retain the title.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and that’s not a surprise whatsoever after what has been a really good story. These three had an odd chemistry together and the match was a lot better than it probably should have been. If nothing else it was nice to not have the goons get involved until the end, and even then it was just for a distraction. JBL’s title reign continues to be far better than he’s given credit for with a match that was actually a lot of fun to watch.

Carlito tries to get Batista to sign his petition but a threat of violence gets rid of that. Batista goes in to draw his number as Bischoff and Long argue over World Title matches. Long says there is going to be a bunch of interference so Bischoff bans Evolution from ringside. Batista wants to tell HHH himself and seems very happy.

Wrestlemania XXI trailer featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. I loved these things and most of them were rather clever.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton. HHH won the World Title back inside the Elimination Chamber, including pinning Orton. It took Batista’s help though so Orton beat Batista in a #1 contenders match to earn the shot. Orton is a complete lame duck challenger as the fans have moved on to Batista and everyone but Orton seems to know it.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and Evolution is barred from ringside. Orton slaps him in the face to get things going and a backslide gets an early two. A rather high backdrop looks to set up a very early RKO so HHH bails to the floor, allowing Orton to take him down out there instead. Back in and Orton grabs Snake Eyes but the RKO is countered with a toss over the top and what could have been a scary looking landing.

A ram into the steps makes it worse for Orton and the RANDY SUCKS chants are just downright mean. HHH goes after the knee, which was attacked on Raw and not brought up until now. We go to the Ric Flair knee work package, including the Figure Four. The hold stays on for over a minute until HHH slaps him in the face, causing Orton to turn it over, albeit right into the ropes.

They head outside again with HHH being thrown over the announcers’ table, which isn’t exactly a big deal this time. Instead Orton takes him back inside for the backbreaker and the assorted punches in the corner. The high crossbody gets two but HHH gets in a knee. The Pedigree is countered so HHH hits the jumping knee to the face for two. Another Pedigree attempt doesn’t work so Orton blasts him with a clothesline. Orton slugs away in the corner but a grab of the rope blocks a DDT.

That’s enough to send Orton outside and the referee threatens to stop the match because Orton looks out of it. Instead Orton gets back in but HHH crashes into both of them for the ref bump. The sledgehammer is brought out but Orton trips him face first into the post. Orton can’t follow up though and it’s a hard clothesline to take him down again. The Pedigree retains the title in a finish that sums up Orton’s entire face run.

Rating: C-. That ending was terrible as Orton never even got in the big hope spot. Instead it was Orton getting knocked silly, not being able to do anything but keep himself from getting hit by the sledgehammer and then falling to the Pedigree anyway. These two seem incapable of having a really good match together and that was the case again here. As mentioned, Orton had no chance so it’s far from some miscarriage of justice, but it was disappointing.

Kurt Angle steals Nunzio’s Rumble spot under the threat of violence.

The drunken Cabinet comes in to Long/Bischoff’s office. Long isn’t happy and makes JBL vs. Big Show in a barbed wire cage match for No Way Out. That’s quite the escalation and JBL sobers up in a hurry.

Royal Rumble

Since this is the main event, here’s your trivia for the night: this is the first pay per view since the Wrestling Classic (and therefore the second ever to this point) to not have a tag team match. In case you were worried about a slow start, Eddie Guerrero is in at #1 and Chris Benoit is in at #2 with ninety second intervals. Eddie starts on the floor before coming in for the feeling out process, which doesn’t get anyone anywhere. They start striking it out and Daniel Puder is in at #3. He gets in but goes straight back to the floor to grab a mic, saying everyone here is about to witness history.

Puder gets inside and it’s time for Benoit and Eddie to chop the heck out of him, which might be Benoit’s specialty. Some suplexes make it even worse and it’s Hardcore Holly in at #4. Benoit and Eddie are willing to stand back and let Holly chop him as the point is becoming clear in a hurry. Holly hangs him over the rope for the kick to the gut and there’s an Alabama Slam.

Hurricane is in at #5 as Puder is tossed. This was WWE’s way of punishing/initiating Puder for being successful in Tough Enough, because WWE feels the need to torment people for getting over. Puder would never wrestle on the main roster again and I’d be surprised if he had a major appearance. Eddie throws Holly out during Hurricane’s entrance and Hurricane is thrown out a few seconds later, just as Kenzo Suzuki is in at #6. Eddie and Benoit double team him as well but Benoit throws Eddie to the apron in a smart move.

Edge is in at #7 and this should make things more interesting. Chops and right hands abound until Benoit knocks Edge back a bit. Rey Mysterio is in at #8 and as soon as we get rid of Suzuki, a heck of a tag match could break out (with any combination of teams). Rey’s headscissors gets rid of Suzuki but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Eddie to put everyone down. Shelton Benjamin is in at #9 and goes after Rey, who snaps off a headscissors.

Booker T. is in at #10, giving us Booker, Eddie, Benoit, Benjamin, Edge and Mysterio (get one or two more and you have a month’s worth of quality stuff). Rey can’t headscissor Shelton out but here’s Bischoff to watch. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter on Eddie, which Rey breaks up with a springboard dropkick. Just in case we don’t have enough awesome talent in the ring, Chris Jericho is in at #11. Jericho goes after Edge with right hands and a belly to back suplex before switching over to Eddie in the corner.

That means a lot more punching and not very close eliminations by the ropes until Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #15. Hang on though as Hassan and Daivari jump him in the aisle and Scotty can’t get in. Oh well. If we can drop every man for himself, we can drop 30 to 29. The beatdown takes long enough that it’s Charlie Haas in at #16. Booker kicks him in the face though and then tosses Reigns and Jordan in a row. He stops for a Spinarooni though and that’s enough for Eddie to get the elimination.

The eliminations slow for a bit as Rene Dupree is in at #17. Haas and Benjamin get back together for the jump over onto Rene’s back. Shelton misses a Stinger Splash though and Edge gets the elimination. Simon Dean is in at #18 but before he gets in, we need some Hindu squats. The distraction lets Edge get rid of Eddie and Dean finally gets in…..so Shawn Michaels, in at #19, can superkick him out. Things slow down a bit until Shawn dumps Haas.

Kurt Angle is in at #20 and it’s suplexes a go-go until Shawn superkicks him out. To recap, we now have Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Jericho, Dupree and Michaels. Coach is in at #21 and immediately starts grabbing the rope to save himself. Mark Jindrak is in at #22 but Angle gets back in and throws Shawn out, followed by a step shot to the head for some blood. Angle is finally dragged off and it’s Viscera in at #23.

Rey saves himself from elimination so Viscera slams him in the middle. With nothing else going on, Paul London is in at #24, nearly sliding all the way outside as he comes in. Dupree slams him down and we get the French Tickler. Jericho is smart enough to use the delay to toss Dupree (Tazz: “His tickler just got Frenched!”.). No one can get rid of Viscera so here’s John Cena in at #25 to pick things way up.

Cena backdrops Viscera out on his own because WWE knows how to make someone look like a star in the Rumble. Gene Snitsky, who can run pretty well when he’s all taped up, is in at #26 to shoulder people down. Snitsky sends London to the apron and BLASTS him with a clothesline, sending London inside out for a highlight reel elimination. That gives us the Cena vs. Snitsky showdown with Snitsky hitting the big boot.

Kane is in at #27 and it’s chokeslams all around, with the one armed version to Mysterio looking great. Jindrak is out but Snitsky saves Coach of all people. The pumphandle slam drops Kane but none of that matters because Batista is in at #28 to bring the fans back to full strength (everyone knows it’s coming now and they’re fully on board the Batista train). Snitsky is out first and it’s time for the Kane showdown, with the full on BATISTA chants as background noise.

The Batista Bomb plants Kane and Batista throws Jericho out. Christian is in at #29 and gets beaten down by Cena as Rey hits the 619 on Kane. That’s enough for the FU to get rid of Kane (because Cena is smart enough to use a move like that next to the ropes). Rey and Cena set up an alliance and it’s Ric Flair in at #30, giving us a final field of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batista, Christian and Flair. That’s quite the talent pool. Flair is smart enough to feed Coach into the spinebuster from Batista for the elimination and the same concept gets rid of Christian.

Benoit chops Flair in the corner but takes the big spinebuster as well. That’s it for Benoit but Flair makes the mistake of trying to toss Batista as well. Edge and Mysterio are smart enough to dropkick Batista at the same time with Edge getting rid of Flair (makes sense). That leaves us with Edge, Mysterio, Batista and Cena. Edge hits the spear on Batista and Cena but gets caught by the 619. Rey tries one too many runs off the ropes though and gets sent to the apron for a spear to the floor. Cena and Batista toss Edge and we’re down to the only two people who ever had a shot to win this thing in the first place.

Neither can hit their finisher and the fall out to the floor in the unplanned finish. With the referees split, cue Vince McMahon, who made the mistake of trying to get up from the Gorilla Position in a hurry after three hours. He tries to slide in under the bottom rope and there goes his quad (must be a family trait).

Vince tries to get up and just goes down, so the referees plead their cases as Vince sits down next to the bottom rope. With all of the confusion, they take turns throwing each one over the top (Batista threw Cena first, which makes sense. Cena throwing Batista out after and thinking that would count is just kind of dumb.). Vince says restart the match (and then goes to the back, where he put too much weight on his good leg and tore that quad as well), but for some reason Eddie and Benoit are nowhere to be seen. Batista throws Cena out in about ten seconds to officially win.

Rating: B+. If they could have nailed the ending, this is an all time classic. As it is, it’s just shy of great and that’s a pretty awesome place to be. Cena and Batista were all that mattered here and that was where they went for the ending, but the stuff before that was more than very good as well. They stacked the first half with talent and then had the very well done Angle vs. Shawn segment, which sets up a major match at Wrestlemania. By the time they were done, Cena showed up to bridge things to the ending. All in all, it’s a second tier Rumble at worst and just makes the end of the all time best list at best.

Overall Rating: A-. The Rumble is such a unique show as the one match can carry the rest of the card either up or down. In this case that’s very helpful as the four undercard matches nearly cancel each other out, with a pair of good ones, the bad casket match and the not very good Raw World Title match. What matters here though is they didn’t play any games with the ending and went with their strongest options at the finish. It was the right play and the only thing they could have done. Batista and Cena’s rockets are being attached to their backs and that’s what they have to do. Very good show and bordering on classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Before I get going, this is the Rumble where the promo was designed after West Side Story. The tag line was “All the rumbling, minus the dancing and singing.” Again I say, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THESE PEOPLE ON??? It’s not the scariest part that these people are agreeing to put this on, but that someone THOUGHT THIS UP and GOT PAID TO DO IT. I mean come on now. WEST SIDE STORY???

This is supposed to be one of the biggest fights of the year and it’s WEST FREAKING SIDE STORY??? ANYWAY, the rest of this show looks pretty weak other than the Rumble. Other than another year passing, we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, who are all of a sudden the hottest guys in the company.

HHH is world champion in a stunning revelation and is facing Orton tonight, allegedly in his last title shot. Say it with me: HA! We also have JBL defending against Show and Angle in a match I completely don’t remember. Oh and Edge is back and an Achilles enthusiast now. Let’s get to this.

Our opening video talks about how the legacy of the Rumble continues tonight. That’s fine. We shift to an alley where we have Raw and Smackdown dressed like it’s the 1950s and singing about fighting each other, with one line being: “We’ll step into the ring and reach an understanding. When the smoke has cleared I’ll be the last man standing.” Please, I beg of you now, end my life so I don’t have to listen to this anymore!

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge has been using Metalingus for 5 years almost? Methinks this might be dubbed. Oddly enough the same band is doing the theme song for the PPV. At Taboo Tuesday, Shawn had gotten voted into the title match instead of Edge, so we get this as a result. Ross calls HBK a first ballot Hall of Famer. Who makes the ballots for that thing? I want that job. My first step: shorten the class size to like 5.

We start off fast, shocking no one. They already reference the 95 Rumble so at least they’re starting it early. To kill some time we list of some of Shawn’s accomplishments because we have to do that at least once a week. The heel heat that Edge is already drawing is really impressive. In a painful looking spot, Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on the floor. That can’t feel good, which I think is the point. The crowd is hot tonight so that’s good.

Within maybe 30 seconds of each other, Lawler says that Edge has never gotten a world title shot and Ross says if Edge ever starts doing shampoo commercials he’ll be perfect. For those that have no clue why this is interesting, both of those things not only happened, but they both happened in 2002. Yeah I need a life don’t I? After Shawn comes back for a good while we hit the floor where Edge hits a spear.

For the love of mangoes he needs a new finisher. This is kind of an odd choice for an opening match. They’re both big names, so why not save this for a bit later? I guess because with only five matches on the card there’s no other place to put it. Edge tunes up the band but instead throws out the spear for two. Edge counters Sweet Chin Music into a SWEET electric chair that gets two. Edge is having a mental breakdown over this and his facials are still epic.

He counters a sunset flip into that weird kneeling Sharpshooter thing he would do that was always weird looking. The hold looks just completely awful when you look at it for more than three seconds. Shawn is in it over a minute and doesn’t tap which is fairly cool I suppose. Edge finishes with a reversed rollup and uses the ropes for a pin. I like that ending. Edge’s reaction of completely freaking out and screaming I DID IT was just awesome.

Rating: B. It took me awhile to figure out if I liked this match or not. The ending made it for me though as Edge getting the win was a big deal. Shawn definitely didn’t need a win here while this was Edge’s biggest win of his career at this point. The ropes at the end helped a lot too to play up Edge as a heel. This was a very good match overall with the booking being especially good.

We go to the back where Bischoff and Long, who more or less is the same character that he is now. Torrie and Christy are running the number draw as Eddie and Flair come in, both dressed like kings. Eddie starts to reach in but Flair stops him. He dances a bit and says 16 times.

Eddie pulls his hand back and lets Ric go first. That was great to me for some reason. Ric is thrilled with his number and Eddie is upset. Ric brags and then Eddie hugs him. Flair shows the girls his number and realizes Eddie stole his and chases after him. That was a lot better than it sounds.

Heidenreich is in the back, talking about how he hates caskets. Snitsky comes up and says he knows Heidenreich hates caskets, but they like each other and Snitsky has an idea. There are more gay overtones here than there were with Piper and Bob Orton, and that’s saying A LOT.

We recap Taker vs. Heidenreich (Jon, because that takes too long to type) which more or less was Heyman bringing Jon in and them fighting a bit. Jon was supposed to be some big tough fighter or something but he was bland as all goodness and it bombed badly.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

This is a casket match. They actually start with wrestling stuff, shocking the heck out of me. Taker keeps using headlocks to drag Jon to the casket. That’s really smart as it freaks Jon out. Jon is kind of an MMA/street fighter kind of guy but he’s just not that good at it. In an awesome spot, we’re in the corner with Jon throwing punches at Taker. Taker grabs the ropes and throws his legs up to tie up Jon in a triangle choke while still up in the corner. That was awesome.

Tazz points out why Cole is messing up the names of the moves which Cole gets annoyed with. For some reason the fans start booing the heck out of the match. Oh Snitsky is here. They double team Taker with a double suplex and Jon somehow manages to botch that. Do you have any idea how hard it is to mess up a move like that? Kane is in the casket. This was supposed to be Taker’s match at Mania. I’m glad they went with Taker vs. Orton instead aren’t you?

The announcers are of course stunned at someone hiding in a casket, despite Taker having done it about a million times. Jon moves the casket away from the ring for no apparent reason. Taker is back to beat on him some more as we have a Christian Coalition sign in the front row. TNA is already spreading. They’re on PPV at this point so I guess it’s possible, even though Christian was still in WWE at this point so ignore me.

Apparently Taker’s knee is hurt or something like that. Jon pulls back the mat as this match is a train wreck at this point. With Taker laying on the floor, Jon gets a running start with the casket to ram it into Taker. Granted he was almost under the ring so it actually would have been easy to get out of the way so there we go. Jon goes to his finisher: a cobra clutch. Are you starting to see why this guy was such an epic failure?

Naturally as Taker is put in the casket, he gets an arm out. This needs to end, like NOW. Jon uses a Boss Man Slam which Cole says Taker nailed him with. Yeah they botched that call something awful. The crowd really isn’t that interested either. Jon rolls him to the casket and in the EXACT SAME SEQUENCE, Taker gets out. After a REALLY bad chokeslam, the tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: D-. This was just bad on a lot of levels. There were all kinds of blown spots and the Snitsky and Kane run in was completely pointless. What’s the point in booking Taker in these matches if he never loses them? Jon was supposed to be Taker’s arch rival. That’s just funny. At least this finally ended this awful feud so we don’t have to put up with it anymore. This was really bad.

Ad for Mania.

In the back, Long wants Eddie to give back the number. Eddie’s face is priceless on this. Evolution shows up and demands it back, but Eddie gives it up. He’s also made to give back Flair’s wallet which Flair didn’t know about. Why aren’t these guys ever sued? Anyway, Batista says he needs to go get his number and he’ll be right back. HHH says they have to plan something. Batista says it’ll only take a minute and HHH orders him to stay. This doesn’t go well. Well at least they didn’t try to be subtle.

Christian and Tomko are ready to pick their numbers. He’s happy with it until Cena comes in to a huge pop. They have a battle rap that goes nowhere. The best part is when Christian asks Tomko for a beat and Tomko just says no. Cena makes gay jokes and the crowd pops for no apparent reason.

JBL is champion. Angle wants to be champion. Show wants to be champion. If that’s not validation for a triple threat I don’t know what is.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. JBL

Angle and JBL had a last man standing match on Smackdown apparently so they’re both sore. JBL with the limo was always cool. Show is the odds on favorite apparently. They did a double knock out on Smackdown. This is in the middle of JBL’s reign of doom where he held the belt for almost ten months. They need to get that belt back. It just looks awesome. Apparently there’s a petition to get rid of Teddy Long.

Angle hides on the floor which is a smart idea. They’re broadcasting in New Zealand apparently, so there you go Shadow! Show chops people quite a bit. Show is more or less dominating here. We have steps set up leading to the table which is a bit odd. Show sets for a chokeslam on JBL through it from on top of the steps, but Angle low blows him and a monitor shot puts Show through the table so it’s Angle and JBL at the moment.

The two of them fight it out in the ring to kill some time for Big Show to get back. Geez Show is huge compared to when he was the Giant still. That guy could have carried a company but he had to get all big and fat and slow and it didn’t work at all. Show gets back in and beats both guys up again and looks ready to win, more or less guaranteeing that he won’t. Just as I say that, the others team up to put him down with a combination Clothesline and chop block.

Show hits a chokeslam but JBL gets the foot on the rope. Show is actually moving with something resembling speed. And there goes the barricade as Show puts JBL through it. We cue up the run ins as Jindrak and Reigns come in to take out Big Show while the Cabinet gets JBL up and gives him a chair.

It isn’t used though as Angle walks into the Clothesline for the pin to keep the title as the fans boo the heck out of it. They don’t have much to boo about as he got a clean pin. Show got robbed apparently and would get a barbed wire cage match the next month that had a cool ending.

Rating: B. While I hate triple threats, this was pretty good. There was a flow here that you don’t often see in them as they kept one guy down for a good amount of the match in Big Show, which is definitely a good idea given how big he is and that he was the favorite. While it’s no classic, I like this one I think. It’s better than most I’ve seen if nothing else.

Batista won’t get rid of Long via the petition. He threatens Carlito who swallows the apple. In a continuous camera shot we go to the place where numbers are drawn and the GMs are arguing. Apparently Evolution is barred from ringside in the next match and Batista wants to tell HHH. You can see the turn a mile away.

Promo for Mania. It’s the Hollywood one this time.

Ross and Lawler talk about the PPV theme song and the Raw main event for no apparent reason.

We recap it as they had been feuding for months yet they kept going at it anyway. Who would have seen that? Orton allegedly wasn’t allowed to have another shot but of course he’s getting it again here. Orton got cheated out of the title at New Year’s Revolution by Evolution so he gets the shot here. I love how these guys have been feuding for almost five years over a team that existed for all of two years.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is the somewhat over face here. He was far more over about 4 months ago but because he was over, HHH was clearly the better choice for the belt than the young, over hotshot that was getting better and more popular every time he got in the ring. Orton goes for an RKO and HHH throws him over the ropes. Why couldn’t it injure him like it did in I think their second last man standing match? Orton used to have this weird style of punches that he’s using here.

I’ve never been able to get into it either. Oh and Orton has a bad knee of course. He swears about 7 times in 5 seconds in a nice touch. Why does something tell me that this will be by far and away the longest match of the night outside of the Rumble? HHH is already using the figure four because he has to be the new Ric Flair in every single way he can be. So we start fast and now HHH has decided to slow things down.

Did I mention that I really hate this match and rivalry? If there’s ever been a guy that has changed so completely over the years, it’s Orton. He’s almost unrecognizable both as far as looks go and the way he works in the ring. It’s a total contrast. Orton is bleeding badly from the lip and looks a lot like Ted DiBiase in that shot. He counters a Pedigree as I just couldn’t care less about this match.

There’s just something that’s always been missing between these two when they got at it and it’s always hurt this match. Granted this is better than most of their future matches, but the problem is already coming clearly here: they want this to be some epic encounter but at the same time, nothing ever comes of it and that’s not a good thing at all. Orton takes a shot to the head and looks like he has a concussion that I think is faked as they keep getting shots of it.

Dang it the referee went down. This match just needs to end and it needs to do so now. It’s hammer time as I’d advise you to make your own jokes. We’ve hit the part of the match that always happens between these two. There comes a point where it’s always about the hammer and not about the wrestling at all. This is where these matches lose it for me as I just freaking don’t care anymore about them.

Why does everything have to follow the same formula of a long match leading up to one moment where the hammer is the key to the whole thing while the referee is down? It always comes to this and it’s just boring to say the least. Also, get some referees that can take a freaking hit. HHH gets the Pedigree and the academic pin to thankfully end this with HHH STILL having the belt.

Rating: D+. This was the same match you’ve seen from these guys a dozen times but with Orton as the face. HHH was clearly going to win and it was to have a title match on the show and nothing more. There was no point to this at all and it just wasn’t interesting whatsoever. HHH and Orton simply can’t have a great match and they need to stop trying like they seem to have done.

Nunzio gets a spot in the Rumble and Angle steals it from him and says it’s his unless Nunzio wants to fight for it. Ok then.

JBL and the Cabinet come into the drawing room celebrating with champagne and Long says there’s a barbed wire cage match at No Way Out. JBL’s face is great here.

Ross and Tazz are doing the commentary for the Rumble again.

Royal Rumble

Eddie is number one and Benoit is number two. Not a bad way to start. Benoit is rocking the teal here. Dang Benoit has bad luck as he was first last year. This is borderline chilling when you think about it. Naturally, this is a technical showcase which is what it should be. Daniel Puder, perhaps the most worthless wrestler in a long time, is third. His theme song is Getting Away With Murder. Talk about chilling.

It should be noted that the runner up in the Tough Enough show that Puder won was the Miz. Talk about two different career paths. Geez. Puder gets on the mic and says he’s great. Was there something in the water at that Tough Enough show? Naturally the two former world champions beat the living tar out of him. More or less they just spend the 90 seconds chopping and suplexing the heck out of him as Holly, the rookie hater, is 4th. This should be great.

He gets in and asks if he can have some fun with Puder too. He’s had zero offense. This really is quite funny. Even Holly is over because of this. Think about that for a bit. Holly throws what’s left of him out as Hurricane is 5th. Benoit and Guerrero throw out Holly since he’s useless again to get us down to three. They team up and Eddie tries to throw Benoit out and they’re at it again. Hurricane is out as Kenzo Suzuki, another completely worthless human being is number 6.

This Rumble feels like it hasn’t even gotten started yet and since we’re 1/5 of the way through, that’s not good. Again they double team the other guy until Benoit tries to throw Eddie out. Edge is in at seven. Rey is eighth as nothing at all is happening. Kenzo is out almost immediately. It’s not a good sign at all when you have four world champions in the ring and there’s just nothing going on at all. I mean it’s just boring for some reason.

The Guerrero vs. Mysterio feud was coming soon and it would be Eddie’s next to last major one. Shelton Benjamin, the IC Champion, is number 9. He hadn’t had his big match with Shawn yet to really get him over but it was coming. At this point he was just a guy with untapped potential rather than now as a guy that no one takes seriously with untapped potential. He would finally break out soon after this at MITB at Mania.

Booker takes us to ten as the least successful wrestler out of the 6 in there is Shelton Benjamin. They’re blowing their load too fast here as Tazz messes up by saying that Booker vs. HHH was last year. Benjamin might have gone out but we’re looking at Bischoff who just showed up for no apparent reason. We continue the insane star power in there with Jericho at 11th. He’s WAY over with a huge Y2J chant.

Hey looks here’s Teddy Long as Vince continues the theory of keep pushing the Brand Split until people accept it so you can say it was a good idea. Luther (for admin) Reigns comes in at 12 to break that streak. There are way too many people in there right now. Now we throw every man for himself out the window as Raw and Smackdown get on different sides for four one on one matches that consist of Rey vs. Jericho, Benoit vs. Reigns, Booker vs. Edge and Eddie vs. Shelton.

This is kind of cool but kind of stupid as it’s turning the Rumble into an even bigger gimmick match than it usually is. Muhammad Hassan, the most controversial wrestler perhaps of the millennium, is number 13. Everyone stops cold for this. His manager is more commonly known as Sheik Abdul Bashir in case you didn’t know that. In a humorous bit, everyone jumps him at once to a great pop. Rey gets 619 and then almost everyone picks him up and throws him out as a group. That was great.

Orlando Jordan is number 14 as this needs to stop being so gimmicky. Tazz tries to compare Orlando Jordan to Shelton Benjamin. That’s just amazing. In a TERRIBLE shot, Shelton is choking Jericho with his feet and Jericho has to grab the foot to move it to his throat. It looked terrible. Scotty is number 15, apparently returning from a tumor. Hassan keeps up a tradition of beating up Scotty on his way to the ring. That has to be what, three times?

So for another year, Scotty doesn’t get into the match. Charlie Haas is 16th. How in the world did he get a chick like Jackie Gayda? Booker throws out Luther (for admin) and Orlando with ease. Booker goes for a spinaroonie but Eddie jumps him to put him out. We have Benoit, Guerrero, Shelton, Edge, Jericho, Haas and Rey in there at the moment. In yet another chilling line, Ross says Benoit and Guerrero are still alive.

Rene Dupree and the poodle is seventeenth to insane heat. The World’s Greatest Tag Team reunites for all of a second with Shelton then going for a Stinger Splash, actually called that by Ross, and Edge dumps him. Simon Dean is 18th as the Rumble is legal. While he’s warming up on the floor, Edge throws out Eddie to great heat. Shawn is 19th. He hammers Edge before casually turning around to clothesline Dean out. Eddie gets a huge chant as he leaves.

Ross says that Edge is trying to corner Rey in a corner. Shawn throws out Haas which gets no recognition as Ross thinks it was Dupree. Angle is 20 and he comes in and stays insane since saying going insane wouldn’t make a lot of sense. Shawn misses a superkick but hits the second to put Angle out in a shocker. Angle is TICKED. Currently we have Benoit, Edge, Rey, Jericho, Dupree and Shawn in there and they’re joined by the Coach of all people at 21.

This is the thing I hate about rumbles like these: what’s the point of putting him in there? Was there no one else on Raw that could have gone in there at all? I mean you couldn’t throw Lawler in there who at least was a wrestler? Rey almost puts Jericho as Jindrak comes in at 22. Angle runs back in and beats up Shawn and throws him over the top. Shawn is bleeding and apparently is out now, setting up their Mania 21 classic.

Number 23 is Viscera who still has no one that cares about him. At least he’s got a shirt on here. Paul London is 25th and he slides in so fast that he almost goes out the other side. Dupree does that stupid French Tickler dance and Jericho puts him out for it. Cena is 24th to a MASSIVE pop. Tazz likes him way too much.

He was just about to shatter the glass ceiling as he would win the world title at Mania from JBL. He manages to backdrop Viscera to eliminate him. I don’t care if you like Cena or not: he has SCARY strength.

Snitsky is 26th. London jumps him and in a video that’s become popular on the internet for obvious reasons, Gene clotheslines him so hard that London got spun backwards which I don’t think was planned. Kane is 27th, causing Tazz to freak over the way that Ross has to put up with these explosions. As someone that’s been surprised by his pyro, I feel his pain. Kane cleans house of course and there goes Jindrak.

A shirtless Coach tries to jump him but Snitsky saves him. London goes out on a stretcher. Batista is 28th and the pop is epic. They were pushing him to the moon around this time and it clearly was the right decision at the end. There goes Snitsky. Kane continues his tradition of getting beaten up by Batista, this time taking the powerbomb. Batista puts out his third guy by throwing out Jericho.

Christian is 29th, finally with the Just Close Your Eyes theme whose current version I’m completely addicted to. Cena goes off on Edge to show off their future great feud. Cena gets a half F5 half FU to Kane to put him out. Flair is number 30, making the final group Benoit, Edge, Coach, Batista, Cena, Christian, Rey and Flair. So other than Coach, all world champions in some company. Not bad at all. Flair throws Coach to Batista for a spinebuster and Flair throws him out.

There goes Christian. He and Edge were both wearing purple. Benoit and Flair have a chop off. Flair and Batista do the same thing to Benoit that they did to Coach. Flair tries to throw out Batista and it doesn’t go well. Rey and Edge knock Batista down with a double dropkick. Edge puts Flair out and your final four are Edge, Rey, Cena and Batista. Not bad at all. Edge hits a spear on Batista and Cena but Rey avoids it.

619 hits but Rey goes too fast and goes over and a spear puts him on the floor. Batista and Cena put Edge out to get the dream match for the final two. The crowd reacts to this in a great way. This has to headline Mania someday. Cena gets him up for the FU but Batista gets out. Cena is put up for the Batista Bomb but they go out at the same time in an homage to the 94 Rumble. Screw the homage part. It’s the same finish, but to be fair that was 11 years ago so I think it’s ok.

The referees argue over it until Vince comes out. He slides into the ring and hits his legs on the apron, ripping his quads and knees apart. He tries to stand up and just crumples to the ground in agony. Instead of screaming in pain or whatever, he sits on the mat leaning against the ropes and does his thing. Batista clearly is about to lose it. Think about it from his perspective for a minute.

You’re wrestling in the main event of the Royal Rumble, one of the biggest shows on the year and you’re in an angle that’s going to send you to Wrestlemania, and your boss, a billionaire, is sitting on the mat after collapsing and ripping his legs apart, not to mention the epic adrenaline rush you must have just been on. Think about that for a minute or two. Anyway, Fink says Vince ordered the match to be restarted.

This translates into Cena vs. Batista. Shouldn’t that mean Benoit and Guerrero come out again and we do the whole Rumble over? That’s what it sounds like to me. Anyway, Batista throws Cena over and then Cena throws Batista over before this is said which is just stupid, at least from Cena. FU is countered and after a spinebuster, Batista throws him out for the easy win.

Rating: B-. I’ve seen far worse I guess. This match never really seemed to get going for my tastes. Now to be fair while it was clear that Batista was the winner before the match even started, they did have Cena out there as a potential winner along with Edge who was a new main event guy, so at least they tried.

I just couldn’t get into this as there were too many things where the match more or less stopped for something. Also having the huge rush of talent in the first third hurt later parts of the match where those guys could come out. It was good but it could have been a lot better.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some good stuff and there’s some bad stuff here, but the good is more prolific than the bad here. This was a lot more about changing the guard by launching Batista and Cena into the next level which makes it a bit awkward but that’s ok I think. They were the right choices and this was a great way to do the change. I like the show overall, but the second and fourth matches leave a bit to be desired. Not bad, but don’t expect to be blown away.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Madison Rayne

It’s the go home show for Hard To Kill and that means we are going to be seeing the AEW people showing up again. There are a few other things to cover on the way there, but unfortunately that means we are likely to have more of the continuing adventures of Eric Young and Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap, including a look at the end of last week’s AEW Dynamite.

Opening sequence.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Kimber Lee

Rosemary and Deonna Purrazzo are here too. Lee wastes no time in sending her into the corner and chopping away but Taya is back with a double leg takedown. Some chops in the corner have Lee out the floor but she is able to block the suicide dive. Back in and the full nelson with the legs has Taya in more trouble, followed by the chinlock. Lee cuts off a comeback attempt but a Swanton hits raised knees.

Taya makes the clothesline comeback and gets two off a shoulder block. A curb stomp doesn’t have much effect on Lee but the running knees in the corner work a bit better. Deonna puts Lee’s hand on the ropes for the break so Rosemary grabs her by the hair. Cue Susan to beat up Rosemary, with the distraction letting Lee roll Taya up for the pin at 9:13.

Rating: C. Lee is fine as a lackey for Purrazzo though I’m not sure where Susan is going to tie into the whole thing. That has been one of the wackiest things going in Impact for a long time now and as much as I hate to admit it, the thing is growing on me a bit. This worked out fine, though they are telegraphing the ending to the title match pretty hard.

We go to Kenny Omega’s bus where Don Callis tells the team that they need a win tonight. It is time for Karl Anderson to beat Rich Swann and everyone is cool.

Tony Khan and Tony Schiavone have a new paid announcement, with Khan praising Impact for all of its good things in 2020. They had these ads, Kenny Omega and getting to hear about AEW! We run down tomorrow’s Dynamite card but Khan isn’t sure that the Good Brothers are actual brothers.

Sami Callihan wants one more match against Eddie Edwards: Barbed Wire Massacre. Do we really have to do this again?

Hard To Kill rundown.

Chris Bey/Rohit Raju vs. Manik/Suicide

It’s a brawl to start with Suicide being sent to the floor. Manik doesn’t have time for the double teaming as Suicide comes back in with stereo backdrops putting Bey and Raju on the floor. Manik and Suicide both head underneath the ring, come back out from the same side, and hit stereo dropkicks to put the villains on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Manik and Suicide hanging in the ropes but getting knocked outside for their efforts. Things settle down to Suicide in trouble in the corner with Raju elbowing him in the mask for two. A belly to back suplex gives Bey two but Suicide reverses into a crucifix for the same.

Suicide manages to suplex him into the corner and rolls over for the hot tag to Manik (dang I miss crowd pops) to clean house. Suicide gets the Octopus on Bey while Manik stretches Raju’s abdominals. Both holds are broken up in a hurry so Raju goes for Manik’s mask. That doesn’t work out so Bey hits the Art of Finesse for the pin on Suicide at 12:42.

Rating: C+. Nice enough match here and it sets up Bey and Raju as the challengers for Manik’s title on Saturday. The story they’re doing may be a bit dated but it is the kind of thing that is always going to work, especially with the amount of talent from the people involved. They had a nice TV match here and Bey gets a boost on the way to the title match.

Taya Valkyrie yells at Rosemary over Susan, with Rosemary saying they (as in Rosemary and….whatever is in her head) will have this on Saturday. Valkyrie needs to get ready for her title match.

Cody Deaner vs. Tommy Dreamer

Eric Young, Joe Doering, Rhino and Cousin Jake are all here too. Deaner goes for the head to start and unloads in the corner until Dreamer avoids a charge. A slam drops Deaner but Doering…..I think misses a trip but Dreamer goes down anyway. Something misses again, as Dreamer just lays there on his side watching as Deaner gets up and is (very eventually) tripped by Rhino.

It earns the double ejection for Rhino/Doering but someone was REALLY off on the timing there as Dreamer was left sitting for about ten seconds waiting on something to happen. Anyway Deaner unloads in the corner and we hit the quickly broken neck crank. The Bionic Elbow is broken up and so is the Deaner DDT, but Dreamer gets knocked down anyway. Dreamer gets the boot up but Deaner slaps Jack, who jumps him for the DQ at 3:36.

Rating: D-. Between that awkward spot, the idea of putting Young and Dreamer not only in the same segment here but also in a pay per view match and the weird timing deal, this was one of the least interesting segments I’ve seen in a very long time. I know he works backstage, but if they have no one better than Dreamer for this much TV time, they’re in more trouble than I thought.

Video on the Knockouts Tag Team Title tournament.

Scott D’Amore officiates the contract signing between Havok/Neveah and Tasha Steelz/Kiera Hogan. Steelz and Hogan talk trash so Havok and Nevaeh grab them by their throats to shut them up. Well done.

Brian Myers asks Scott D’Amore about his next big match and lists off the people he has defeated. Josh Alexander comes up to say Myers won by DQ so D’Amore makes a No DQ match.

Tenille Dashwood vs. Rosemary

Kaleb With A K handles Dashwood’s entrance. Dashwood offers a handshake, which Josh transitions into a plug for Micro Brawlers. Rosemary doesn’t like the attempted cheap shot and knocks Dashwood down in a hurry. Kaleb offers a distraction and gets grabbed by the head, allowing him to use hairspray on Rosemary’s eyes. Tenille hammers away and hits the running crossbody in the corner for two.

Back up and they collide for the double knockdown, followed by Rosemary’s Sling Blade. The Upside Down has Dashwood in even more trouble but she’s right back with a butterfly suplex of all things for two. Rosemary gets in another shot so Kaleb offers a distraction. Cue Crazzy Steve to chase him off and take him down, leaving Rosemary to hit a spear for the pin at 8:12.

Rating: C-. Is anyone else just bored with Dashwood? She continues to have all of the tools in the world but for some reason nothing ever seems to click with her. This was no exception as she did all of her usual stuff but nothing ever actually came of it. Rosemary has a lot more going for her when it comes to character development, which might improve for Dashwood if she had more than being big on Instagram.

Rich Swann is ready for Karl Anderson because tonight it is one on one with everyone else banned from ringside. Then Karl can go back to the bus and say they’re going to get beaten up on Saturday.

Video on Ethan Page going a bit scooters and winding up setting up a match against Karate Man (himself) at Hard To Kill.

Moose vs. Matthew Palmer

Non-title and no time limit this time. Palmer hits four straight running dropkicks in the corner to start but Moose shrugs them off and drops him with a forearm. A big forearm to the back keeps Palmer down and Josh will not shut up about how Palmer has no chance, the Legend of Zelda, Sami Callihan, Hard To Kill and EVERYTHING else that comes to his mind. Palmer gets in a shot to the ribs and a middle rope knee to the face. A chokeslam plants Palmer and Moose elbows him out at 3:28.

Rating: D. Well that happened and makes last week’s match pretty much worthless. Moose doesn’t actually have a match at Hard To Kill but he did become #1 contender at Genesis, which was barely talked about here. I’m assuming this is it for the quick Palmer run, which was only going to be able to go on for so long.

Video on Kenny Omega being awesome. The other five people in the six man are ok too.

Karl Anderson vs. Rich Swann

Swann is defending and no one is at ringside. We’re joined in progress with Swann armdragging him into an armbar as the other four are seen watching from backstage. Anderson fights up and chokes in the corner, setting up his own armbar. The shoulder goes into the post and we take a break.

Back with Swann’s arm being draped over the top rope again, setting up another armbar. Swann fights up with a clothesline and some snap jabs, followed by a running kick to the back of the head. A missed charge lets Anderson hit a big boot for two but Swann rolls him up for the fast pin at 14:03.

Rating: C. That’s probably going to be Impact’s big win over AEW: the World Champion escaping with a rollup pin after getting beaten up for a good chunk of the match. I did like that the match ended so quickly as Swann steals the pin, though this feud does not exactly make you feel great about Impact’s history. Anderson isn’t going to lose anything by taking a fall though so this was fine enough.

We cut to the bus and see an empty sofa. That means Omega and Gallows can jump the Machine Guns in the back, with Swann and Anderson joining in. The big brawl is on to end the show.

Well almost as we get a quick preview for the pay per view to really end things.

Overall Rating: C+. You can look at this one from a few ways. The point of this show was to set up Hard To Kill and it did that rather well, meaning it did its main job. At the same time though, the wrestling wasn’t anything great for a good chunk of the show and some of the stories are just awful. Impact has a big gap between the top and bottom of the card and this showcased it even more than usual. That being said, the Hard To Kill preview worked well and that’s the point of the show.

Results

Kimber Lee b. Taya Valkyrie – Rollup

Chris Bey/Rohit Raju b. Manik/Suicide – Art of Finesse to Suicide

Cody Deaner b. Tommy Dreamer via DQ when Cousin Jake interfered

Rosemary b. Tenille Dashwood – Spear

Moose b. Matthew Palmer via referee stoppage

Rich Swann b. Karl Anderson – Rollup

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