Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

It is pretty rare when you have a true one match card but that is what we have here, as Batista is defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker inside the Cell. There might be a few other things going on here, but that has been treated as the be all and end all of the show, as it should be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Survivor Series before we move on to this year’s preview.

ECW World Title: Miz vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and for the sake of sanity, I’ll only refer to him as champion. It’s a brawl to start with Punk getting double teamed down into the corner. Morrison catapults Punk into the corner but he comes out with a middle rope crossbody. Punk knocks Miz to the floor but the springboard clothesline is broken up to put Punk down again. Miz breaks up Punk’s springboard with a shot to the floor though and it’s a camel clutch to Punk.

That means Morrison comes in for the save, setting up a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to drop Punk again. A suplex from the apron gets two on Miz but he is right back with a running corner clothesline. Punk is back in with a hurricanrana to send Morrison into Miz for a powerbomb and a near fall. The running knee in the corner sets up the corner bulldog to give Punk two on Miz and a double underhook backbreaker onto the knee gets the same. Morrison is back up to go after Miz, only to be sent outside. That leaves Punk to GTS Miz and retain.

Rating: C+. Miz and Morrison’s rise continues as the two of them have become rather dependable on ECW, and now elsewhere. It makes sense to give them the Tag Team Titles and now we should be seeing even more of them. This was a good way to get the show going as Punk has to work to retain and Miz and Morrison have come far enough that they didn’t seem like cannon fodder.

We look at MVP turning on Matt Hardy, costing the two of them the Tag Team Titles.

MVP says Matt will not be wrestling tonight because he can’t walk. He is tired of being Matt’s latest crutch and he is better than any of his opponents tonight.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Layla/Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool/Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson

One fall to a finish rather than elimination rules. Michelle suplexes Victoria to start and then kicks her in the face for two. Torrie comes in and gets swung into the side slam, only to come back with a suplex. It’s off to Jillian vs. Kelly, with the latter grabbing a rollup for two of her own. Phoenix comes in and plants Maria but a missed charge allows the hot tag to James to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits the Long Kiss Goodnight to finish Melina.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? It was a bunch of the good women vs. the bad women and there is only so much you’re going to get from a match like that. They didn’t have time to do anything and given some of the skill levels of the women involved, that is not a bad idea. The positive sign is that the women are making progress, but a lot of them still aren’t ready to be in a match like this. Leave this thing to Raw.

William Regal and Coach are ready to see Hornswoggle get crushed by Great Khali.

Randy Orton is ready to disappoint everyone and break the Heart Break Kid.

Shawn Michaels wants revenge. And the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Holly and Rhodes are challenging. Rhodes and Cade start things off with Cade grabbing a hiptoss for some early celebrating. A sunset flip gives Cody one and the headlock goes on. That just earns Cody a backbreaker to cut him off so it’s off to Murdoch for a change. Cody takes him into the corner and it’s Holly coming in to forearm away. The hanging kick to the low abdomen has Cade in trouble and the champs need a breather on the floor.

Back in and it’s an atomic drop into a running boot to Holly’s face as Murdoch takes over again. Cade atomic drops Murdoch into a legdrop on Cody for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. Holly suplexes his way out of trouble but Cade is right there with a clothesline. The second atomic drop/legdrop misses though and it’s Cody coming in to very little reaction to clean house. Everything breaks down and Murdoch Code Reds Cody to retain.

Rating: C-. This would have been fine on any given Raw, meaning it was a pretty disappointing pay per view match. Cade and Murdoch are fine as champions and Rhodes and Holly are getting there as a veteran/rookie team, but they aren’t ready for this kind of a match on pay per view. It was far from bad, but this match was sent out there to die and I think WWE knew that was going to happen.

Team HHH, which is down a man due to Matt Hardy’s knee injury, is ready for Team Umaga. Rey Mysterio talks about being an underdog, but that has never been Kane’s thing. Kane brings up the Katie Vick incident (and goes into details). Then Jeff Hardy reminds HHH of the time he put Jeff in the hospital. HHH: “Uh, my bad.” HHH says this is the night when they can come together and do something terrible, so let’s go do it.

Team Umaga vs. Team HHH

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Big Daddy V, MVP
HHH, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Rey Mysterio

Matt Striker is here with Big Daddy V. Rey and Kennedy get things going and it’s an early exchange of arm cranking. A running headscissors takes Kennedy down and a Code Red gives Rey two (so based on the previous match, Trevor Murdoch is better at Code Redding than Rey Mysterio). Hardy comes in and gets blasted by Kennedy so MVP comes in for a front facelock.

It’s off to V and the big beatdown ensues, only to have Hardy dive over for the tag to Kane. V belly to belly suplexes him down but Kane is right back up with a top rope clothesline. That doesn’t seem to bother V though as he hits a pair of drops (Samoan and elbow) for the elimination. HHH comes in to slug away on V but a clothesline puts him straight down. Umaga comes in with a belly to belly of his own but misses the middle rope headbutt.

That means Rey can come back in and the basement dropkick gets a quick two. The 619 into the springboard seated senton for two more but the springboard crossbody is countered into a wicked release Rock Bottom. The Samoan Spike gets rid of Rey and it’s 5-2. Kennedy tags himself in for some reason and misses a charge into the corner. Hardy misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner though and it’s MVP coming in with a chinlock. MVP misses a running kick though and the Twist of Fate gives Hardy a fast elimination.

HHH comes back in for a clothesline on Kennedy and the spinebuster follows. V comes in for the save but elbows Kennedy by mistake, allowing HHH to steal the pin. That doesn’t work for V, who pulls HHH outside and posts Hardy for a bonus. Back in and a double DDT plants V and HHH evens it up at 2-2.

Finlay starts dropping elbows on HHH before dropping some elbows on HHH. Back up and HHH makes it over for the tag without much effort and Hardy comes in with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Whisper in the Wind hit Finlay and the mule kick hits Umaga, allowing HHH to come back in. There’s the spinebuster to Finlay and the Pedigree leaves us with HHH/Hardy vs. Umaga. HHH avoids the running hip attack in the corner and it’s the Pedigree into the Swanton for the final pin.

Rating: B-. Not one of the all time classic Survivor Series matches but they set up HHH and Hardy as a pair of buzzsaws to run through the rest of the team. The HHH vs. Umaga feud has been pretty much decided multiple times now so the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt. This was more or less the Raw main event and it could have been worse, but I could have gone for a lot better for the one elimination match on the show.

We get a preview of Batista vs. Undertaker with a look at their Cell match in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Why Batista is wearing a Tag Team Title to the ring isn’t clear.

Vince McMahon sits down with Hornswoggle to explain why he made the match with Great Khali for tonight. Some people think that it is because Vince hates him, but it is really because he wants Hornswoggle to rise up like the McMahons do. Vince has been an underdog against Time Warner and the US government and he won. Now go win against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Shane McMahon comes out to introduce Vince McMahon and then Hornswoggle for some family flavor. We even get an old school explanation of the rules as the fans want Shaquille O’Neal (in the front row) to help Hornswoggle, but Vince grabs the mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want. Hornswoggle kicks the knee and then dropkicks Runjin Singh through the ropes. The green mist sets up some right hands but Khali chases Hornswoggle off. The distraction lets Hornswoggle grab the shillelagh but Vince takes it away. Khali loads up the Vice Grip, only to have Finlay come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. What is there to say about something like this? The match was a segment instead of anything competitive and that is all it was ever going to be. At the end of the day, the Hornswoggle/Vince story has run out of steam and adding Finlay into the mix isn’t likely to make things that much better. Maybe they can shift things around, but Vince needs to be on to something else.

Post match Finlay destroys Khali with the shillelagh and a low blow, allowing Hornswoggle to escape.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels came back in September and went after Orton, who had put him on the shelf. Orton kept getting superkicked but got disqualified last month. Now Michaels wants revenge but can’t use the superkick. If he does, the match is instantly over, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and we even get a weapons check. Feeling out process with Michaels grabbing a cravate of all things to start. Orton can’t even slam his way out of the cravate but he can drive Shawn into the corner for some right hands. Michaels is right back with a choke on the back before switching to a front facelock as you can feel the anger and hatred here.

Back up and Orton is sent outside, with Shawn hitting an Asai moonsault to take him down. They get back inside with Shawn grabbing a…..wait for it…..Sharpshooter. Orton makes the rope and gets in a poke to the eye, setting up the hanging DDT for two. Shawn fights up and slugs it out, setting up the forearm. More right hands have Orton in trouble but he’s right back with a dropkick for two.

Some slams give Michaels a breather and the top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music. That’s a head fake though and they trade some rollups for two each. Michaels grabs a Crossface instead but Orton gets a foot on the rope. The backbreaker cuts Michaels off again but he counters the Punt into an ankle lock of all things. The grapevine goes on in the middle, only to have Orton kick his way to freedom. Michaels’ Figure Four attempt is countered with a kick into the post so he teases the superkick but gets RKOed to retain Orton’s title.

Rating: B. Pretty good here, but the amount of stipulations they had going on made it a little difficult to believe that they were going to change the title here. Shawn not using the superkick at the end looked a bit awkward though and the ending only worked so well. They had a good match otherwise though, which has to be expected when it’s Shawn vs. Orton getting time.

Post match Orton talks trash to Shawn and gets superkicked.

SAVE US!

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker for Batista’s Smackdown World Title. They’ve fought several times this year and Batista finally beat him for the first time last month. Now it’s the big final showdown inside the Cell.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending inside the Cell. They start fast with Batista hitting a hard clothesline but having to elbow his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker punches him into the corner and hits Snake Eyes into the running big boot. The chair is brought in but Batista spears him down. Undertaker’s clothesline gets two this time and they head outside with Undertaker hammering away.

A face rake against the Cell sets up a chair to the throat has Batista in a lot of trouble so Undertaker chairs him in the ribs for two. Old School is countered into a spinebuster (that was cool) for a delayed two and it’s time to slug it out again. Batista’s running powerslam gets two and they head outside with Undertaker getting blasted with a clothesline. Undertaker is fine enough to whip him into the steps and now a chair to the head has Batista busted open.

Old School is broken up again and Batista hits a superplex but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke. Since we’re in the Cell, the rope breaks the hold (erg) and they head outside again. This time Batista hits him in the face with the steps and now Undertaker is busted open too. Back in and a chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is countered into another spinebuster for another near fall.

It’s table time, with Batista tossing him through it for two more. The Batista Bomb onto the steps is countered into a backdrop onto the steps. Undertaker plants him with the chokeslam for two, followed by another onto the steps….and a cameraman breaks it up. That’s because the cameraman is Edge, who cameras Undertaker in the head. A Conchairto on the steps knocks Undertaker silly and Edge puts Batista (who saw nothing) on top to retain.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and it felt like a war, with the Edge interference being a great surprise to give them a back door out of the match. What mattered here is they kept things high impact here, which is exactly what these two do best. Let them go in there and hit all their power stuff until one of them can’t get up, which granted was due to some help in this case. You can all but guarantee the triple threat next month and that is a fresh way to go, so nicely done.

Post match, Edge takes Undertaker down again and leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main events carry the show, but there is a really big gap between the top of the card and everything else. Even the third biggest match on the show doesn’t feel that important as the whole show was built around Batista vs. Undertaker. The show was a fun enough watch, but outside of the main event, it doesn’t feel like a lot of this matters in the long run.

 

 

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Survivor Series 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 21,300
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This is the requested redo so we’ll go all the way back to the beginning of the series, which was quite the mess in its own right. The WWF had tried some elimination tags at house shows and they got over huge so it was time to run a full event of the things. If they could happen to screw over the NWA with its first pay per view on the same day, Starrcade 1987, so be it of course. Let’s get to it.

The Fink welcomes us to the show and introduces Jesse and Gorilla for commentary, which is a weird thing to see. I’m not sure I can ever remember WWF doing it otherwise. Monsoon’s first line of the show: “What are you doing Jess?” They intro the show and send us to the intro video, which could be on just about any weekend show.

Commentary goes over all of the matches in their always good conversational style. It’s fine that they disagree at times, but there are times where it feels like they are two people who respect each other and are even friends. That is so badly missing from commentary today.

We go over the rules of a Survivor Series match. It’s so weird having a time where that wasn’t commonly known.

The Honky Tonk Man is ready to go because he has an amazing team put together, even down to the managers. As for tonight, he might even SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL ELIZABETH! Well that’s just not very nice. I love these group shots of the wrestlers, as not only do you get what most of them are, but it also screams 1980s so hard. Throw in Hercules looking like his head is about to explode and it’s even better.

Team Randy Savage wants to destroy everyone, with Hacksaw Jim Duggan especially wanting to take out Harley Race for hitting him with his own 2×4. Savage being all over the top is….well very Savage really.

Team Honky Tonk Man vs. Team Randy Savage

Honky Tonk Man, Ron Bass, Danny Davis, Harley Race, Hercules
Randy Savage, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Brutus Beefcake

Entrances take forever, as we have ten people coming to the ring, with Jesse being in awe of Randy Savage’s entrance (fair enough, and Jesse was always a big Savage guy). Beefcake and Hercules get to make history as the first people ever to start a Survivor Series match, apparently as per the captains’ choice (which didn’t last long). A lockup goes nowhere so Beefcake tries strutting as Gorilla says the possible combinations of numbers are endless. Actually if my math is right it’s about 30 but I don’t question Gorilla.

A shoulder drops Beefcake but he’s right back with a quickly broken sleeper. Davis comes in and Beefcake cleans house without much trouble before pulling Davis back in. It’s off to Roberts to work on the arm and the good guys get to take turns on Davis. For some reason Roberts and Duggan tell Savage to hand it off to Steamboat instead of one of them, leaving Steamboat to miss a charge into the corner. Race comes in and gets in a few shots, only for Steamboat to chop him in the head.

Back to back skinnings of the cat leave Race frustrated so Steamboat throws him over the top instead. Steamboat brings Duggan in to slug Race outside and it’s a double countout for the first eliminations at 4:39. Back in and it’s Bass slamming Roberts but missing an elbow, allowing Savage to give him a running knee. Savage makes the mistake of going after Honky Tonk Man though, allowing the villains to get in a cheap shot. Bass comes back in and since it’s Ron Bass, Savage escapes with no trouble and brings in Beefcake for the high knee and the pin on Bass at 7:01.

Hercules comes in and takes over on Beefcake’s arm, allowing Honky Tonk Man to do the same. Beefcake punches his way to freedom, including a weird double punch that you would think someone else would have used before. Davis gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Shake Rattle and Roll finishes Beefcake at 10:51.

As we get the world’s first and still only STEVE LOMBARDI RULES sign in the crowd, Savage comes in to chase after Honky Tonk Man but gets jumped by the legal Hercules instead. Dang man pay attention. For some reason Davis is allowed to come in and hammer on Savage, who elbows him in the head. It’s off to Roberts who can’t DDT Honky Tonk Man but can charge into a raised knee in the corner (which always looks painful). Davis comes back in (oh boy) for some shots to the ribs but Roberts shrugs it off and hits the short arm clothesline, setting up the DDT for the pin at 15:11.

Hercules is right there to take over on Roberts though, with Honky Tonk Man drawing in Savage, who is a bit too obsessed with revenge at this point (shocking I know). The chinlock goes on as commentary debates the merits of having the crowd on your side. Roberts fights up and knee lifts Honky Tonk Man away but Hercules is right there for his own chinlock. A jawbreaker gets Roberts out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Steamboat to clean house. The top rope chop to the head sets up the tag to Savage (Jesse: “Uh oh.”) for the top rope elbow and the pin at 21:04.

So it’s Honky Tonk Man vs. Savage/Roberts/Steamboat, with Savage missing a charge into the corner to give Honky Tonk Man a breather. Steamboat comes right back in and chops away before handing it off to Roberts to keep up the rotating beating. An atomic drop sends Honky Tonk Man over the top and that’s enough for him as he takes the countout (smartest thing he’s ever done) to wrap it up at 23:43.

Rating: B-. This is how you open a new concept show as you had stars that people cared about with a wide variety of eliminations and situations. It’s a good way to get the fans into what they’re seeing, with Savage doing everything he could to get his hands on Honky Tonk Man. Very fun match and a great choice to get things going.

Team Andre the Giant is ready to crush Hulk Hogan and friends tonight, with Slick being VERY over the top and Bobby Heenan being incredibly confident. One Man Gang, who is a huge man in his own right, being absolutely dwarfed by Andre is an amazing visual. Granted the closeup of Andre’s face as he says he’s coming for Hogan’s soul with his eyes bugging out is even worse.

Team Fabulous Moolah vs. Team Sensational Sherri

Fabulous Moolah, Rockin Robin, Velvet McIntyre, Jumping Bomb Angels
Sensational Sherri, Donna Christianello, Dawn Marie, Glamour Girls

It’s so weird to see a women’s match in this era but there is more than enough talent to make this work. For some reason Moolah is announced at 160lbs, which can’t be correct and certainly seems to offend her. Sherri jumps McIntyre to start fast and drops her with a running clothesline. Moolah comes in to beat on Sherri so Christianello comes in to get dropkicked by McIntyre. A victory roll gets rid of Christianello at 1:59 so it’s Robin coming in to dropkick Martin (Judy Martin of the Glamour Girls).

Sherri comes in for her own dropkick and hands it off to Marie (not THAT Dawn Marie, in a joke that no one has ever made before I’m sure), who is crossbodied for the pin at 4:11. Itsuki (of the Angels) comes in blows Jesse’s mind (you can tell he’s actually impressed) with her rollups and kicks to Kai. Sherri comes in and gets suplexed by Tateno, with Jesse being amazed that the champ is getting beaten up like this. Robin monkey flips Kai but gets pulled into the wrong corner so the beating can be on. Sherri hits a suplex to get rid of Robin at 6:56.

Tateno takes Robin’s place and is thrown around by the hair (OUCH) to put her in the corner. McIntyre comes in for a spinning crossbody (cool) and Moolah follows up with a dropkick. It’s off to Itsuki, who slams Kai off the top but misses a dropkick (popular move in this one). Moolah gets to hammer away a bit more but a blind tag lets Martin hit a clothesline for the pin at 8:57.

As commentary DOESN’T panic at the idea of the captain being eliminated, McIntyre comes in to Boston crab Martin. With that falling apart, McIntyre wisely switches to a bow and arrow, which doesn’t last long either. Sherri grabs a suplex, which leaves McIntyre landing kind of awkwardly on her neck/shoulders and she’s almost immediately over for a tag to Tateno. Martin suplexes Tateno for two and a bell in a rare timekeeper’s botch, with commentary IMMEDIATELY saying not so fast (take notes Michael Cole).

McIntyre’s back is fine enough to come in for a giant swing on Sherri, followed by another victory roll (which clearly in a lot of pain) and the pin at 14:56. Tateno comes back in as McIntyre can barely get out of the ring and has to almost lay on the apron. Kai blocks a suplex so it’s back to McIntyre, who tries another victory roll but gets slingshotted into an electric chair (that looked good) for the pin at 17:23. That would be McIntyre’s last match for over a month so there was something wrong.

We’re down to the Angels vs. the Girls with Tateno wasting no time in hitting a high crossbody to get rid of Kai at 18:43. Martin is on her own and starts with a fireman’s carry drop for two on Tateno. Itsuki comes back in for a top rope knee, Tateno dropkicks Jimmy Hart off the apron, and Itsuki adds a top rope clothesline for the pin at 20:18.

Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the best for the most part, but what is impressive here is that they had ten women who could put together a completely watchable match like this one. Women’s wrestling in the 80s gets a bad reputation but they were a genuine part of the card and had good matches in the right circumstances. This didn’t feel out of place whatsoever and the Angels were a total highlight so this was quite the fine use of 20+ minutes.

Team Hart Foundation, minus the national anthem singing Bolsheviks, are ready to win. A disheveled Jimmy Hart comes in and wants revenge.

Team Strike Force, not minus singing Russians, are ready to win.

Team Strike Force vs. Team Hart Foundation

Strike Force, Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, Killer Bees, British Bulldogs, Young Stallions
Hart Foundation, Demolition, New Dream Team, Bolsheviks, Islanders

If someone is eliminated, their partner is gone too. Volkoff jumps Martel to start and shrugs off a rollup without much trouble. Zhukov comes in and misses an elbow so it’s off to Santana for the flying forearm and the pin at 1:45. It’s off to Ax for the standard Demolition forearms to the back before Jacques gets to work on Bravo’s arm. The rapid fire tags leave us with Dynamite being dragged into the corner for a chop off with Haku.

Dynamite gets Haku over so the Bees can start in on his hamstrings and it’s off to Roma. Neidhart slams him down and Haku drops him with a clothesline. Smash’s slam sends Roma into the corner for the tag to Jacques, who is quickly dropped and pinned by Smash at 5:50.

Powers comes in and gets put on Neidhart’s shoulder for a top rope forearm from Haku (that’s a cool move and could have been a decent finisher for a team) and two. It’s back to Roma, who gets shouldered breakered and suplexed by Valentine. Smash misses a charge though and it’s Dynamite coming in to get kicked in the face. The beating continues but Smash throws the referee down and that’s a DQ at 9:22.

Powers sends Tama into the corner and gets clotheslined for his efforts as neither Gorilla nor Jesse can get Tama’s (Haku/Toma) name right. Martel comes in to dropkick Tama but he’s WAY too close to the ropes for the Boston crab. Neidhart makes the save so Santana comes in with the flying forearm, meaning Hart has to make a save. It’s such a save that Neidhart pins Santana at 12:05 as the field has thinned quite a bit (as it needed to).

As Jesse talks about his great great great grandfather Ephraim the Body coming over on the Mayflower, Bret hits a backbreaker on Powers and Tama adds a top rope knee for two. Oddly enough, Hart allows powers to get over for a tag to Roma, which felt rather out of the norm for him. It’s right back to Powers as Jesse wonders why the beaten up Stallions wouldn’t tag in a fresh Bee or Bulldog. Roma gets knocked into the corner for the tag to Dynamite, who suplexes Hart for a fast two.

Bulldog headbutts Haku over and over and somehow doesn’t knock himself silly. Powers misses a charge and gets taken into the wrong corner but it’s right back to Bulldog. The gorilla press gets two on Bret and the running powerslam gets the same on Haku. Dynamite adds the flying headbutt and knocks himself silly on Haku’s head, with Jesse going right into the rant about how stupid that was. A superkick gets rid of the Bulldogs at 19:59 and we’re down to Harts/Islanders/Dream Team vs. Bees/Stallions.

The Dream Team takes over on Powers as commentary talks about how the villains don’t really like each other anyway. The side slam drops Powers, who kicks away Valentine’s Figure Four attempt. That’s enough for Roma to come in off the top with a sunset flip to pin Valentine at 23:29.

Blair comes in for a jumping knee for two on Neidhart so Hart gets to try his luck. A headlock drags Roma over for the tag to Tama, who kicks Roma down without much effort. Haku misses a legdrop though, allowing Blair to hit his own legdrop for two. Roma comes back in and gets suplexed so Tama can rip at Roma’s eyes.

Haku hits a dropkick and Gorilla says he’d like to see Neidhart try that. Before the words are out of his mouth, Neidhart hits his own dropkick in a spot so perfectly timed that it had to have been a coincidence. Brunzell comes in and tries to slam Hart but Tama kicks him down…with Brunzell rolling through to pin Hart at 29:29.

So it’s the Islanders vs. the Bees/Stallions, with Tama going right to the nerve hold. Haku comes in for a nerve hold of his own before it’s back to Tama for the third nerve hold. A suplex mixes things up a bit for two but Brunzell manages to knock his way to freedom. Roma comes back in for two off a powerslam but Haku takes him down again. Jesse praises the Islanders for being saucy with hard heads as Haku misses an elbow, allowing the diving tag back to Brunzell. Gorilla isn’t sure what’s up with that as a masked Killer Bee (their method of cheating) slingshots in with a sunset flip to pin Tama for the win at 37:16.

Rating: A-. This was all about the talent involved as you had one great combination after another. The Stallions and Bees getting the glory in the end was a little weird but points for trying to put someone else over. Good stuff here and all the proof you need that this was the golden age for tag team wrestling, as there were all kinds of good to great teams in there and it doesn’t feel anywhere near the forty minutes that it runs.

Ted DiBiase talks about how great Thanksgiving is and we see a montage of him doing horrible things to people. Of note: a boy who gets a basketball kicked away from him is one Rob Van Dam. Then DiBiase has a catered dinner because he is one of the best villains in the history of wrestling.

Commentary talks about the show so far, with Jesse thinking that Honky Tonk Man did the right thing by walking away instead of risking an injury. This is the friendly chat that made their commentary feel real as compared to the constant yelling and insulting exchanges that you see too often with modern heel commentators.

Jesse is also REALLY impressed by the Jumping Bomb Angels, saying that the Glamour Girls (Women’s Tag Team Champions) are in trouble. He compares the Angels to a Dynamite Kid, a Ricky Steamboat or a Randy Savage, saying “that was fantastic, I enjoyed it”. That is how you put a team over. On the other hand, Jesse isn’t happy with the Killer Bees using their mask trick and wants an investigation. They’re both really looking forward to the main event though, because Hulk Hogan is getting back in the ring with Andre the Giant.

Honky Tonk Man insists that he is the real survivor and will face Hulk Hogan any time. This is pretty clearly intermission as they wait around on the main event, which makes sense on a four match show.

Team Hulk Hogan is VERY fired up with Hogan talking about how hungry the team is. That bandanna with the tassels hanging down over Hogan’s eyes is always a weird look.

Team Hulk Hogan vs. Team Andre The Giant

Hulk Hogan, Don Muraco, Ken Patera, Paul Orndorff, Bam Bam Bigelow
Andre The Giant, Rick Rude, One Man Gang, Butch Reed, King Kong Bundy

Bobby Heenan handles Andre’s introduction, which is a very Heenan thing of him to do. Hogan of course gets his own entrance, which is a very Hogan thing to do….but egads you can hear the reaction when he comes out with that American flag. Jesse: “I’m not even going to try to talk over this.” Gorilla: “Good thinking.” Muraco and Rude start things off with Rude hammering away in the corner. Orndorff comes in and knocks Rude into the corner so Hogan can come in for a very rare meeting with Rude (they didn’t like each other).

It’s off to Bigelow for the running headbutt and a gorilla press as they’re certainly starting fast. Patera screws up (shocking) by knocking Rude into the corner for the tag to Reed, who gets dropkicked down by Muraco. Orndorff hits some dropkicks of his own as even Jesse says Andre’s team isn’t doing so well so far. Hogan drops the leg and that’s it for Reed at 3:04….and it’s Andre time.

Some high fives to Patera count as a tag though and Jesse is ALL OVER Joey Marella for calling that a tag and trying to save Hogan again. Hogan protests too but doesn’t think about, you know, tagging right back in, leaving Andre to say the heck with Patera and hand it off to Bundy.

Some forearms don’t go anywhere so it’s off to Gang, who gets knocked into the corner by Orndorff. Rude comes back in and gets elbowed and slammed, with Jesse saying Rude just isn’t having a good night. Patera manages to crossbody Gang down for two but gets taken into the wrong corner so the beating can ensue. Gang and Patera hit double clotheslines but Gang falls on him for the pin at 8:44.

Hogan comes in to hammer on Gang (that’s his bread and butter), setting up a double big boot with Bigelow. Gang gets over to tag in Rude, who gets beaten down again by Orndorff. A cheap shot from Bundy breaks up the piledriver though and Rude grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin at 10:22.

Save for a house show feud with Rude, that was it for Orndorff in the WWF. Muraco comes in to powerslam Rude for the pin at 11:10, leaving us with Muraco/Hogan Bigelow vs. Gang/Bundy/Andre. Bundy misses a knee drop and Muraco is smart enough to go right after that leg. It’s already back to Gang, who falls on top of Muraco during a slam attempt. The big splash is enough to finish Muraco at 12:54.

Bigelow comes in and gets clotheslined right back down by Bundy. Hogan has to make a save, with Gorilla immediately saying that he has a five count to get out. Jesse doesn’t stand for that (good for him) as Bundy comes in to hammer on Bigelow. Jesse: “You won’t see any hair pulling here.”. It’s off to Andre but Bigelow rolls over for the tag to Hogan and OH YEAH the fans are into this. Hogan wins a chop/slug out but gets pulled to the floor. Hogan slams Gang and Bundy….but gets counted out at 18:13, leaving even Jesse stunned. Since it’s Hogan, he refuses to leave until he is threatened with a forfeit.

So it’s Bigelow vs. Andre/Bundy/Gang as Jesse praises Gang and Bundy for being glorified pawns to get rid of Hogan. Bigelow stretches a bit before jumping on Bundy to start fast. A clothesline sets up a falling headbutt for two but a dropkick doesn’t drop Bundy. Instead Bigelow takes him down by the leg and a slingshot splash gets rid of Bundy at 20:48. It’s off to Gang, with Jesse saying he can pick which of Bigelow’s tattoos he wants to hit.

Bigelow charges into a boot in the corner so Gang goes up top (uh oh) and misses a splash, allowing Bigelow to get the pin at 23:05. That means it’s Andre vs. Bigelow and I think you know where this is going. A big right hand knocks Bigelow into the ropes but he holds on to avoid a big boot. Bigelow rolls away a few times but gets caught in the corner for the shoulders. A butterfly suplex/hiptoss finishes Bigelow at 24:21.

Rating: C+. This was more or less the semi-sequel to Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania III and Andre wins to help rebuild him. The big rematch was coming later of course, but for now, Andre wins and that is enough to keep things going. The rest of the match was only so good, but what matters here is getting Andre back to being a force and making Bigelow look like the next big thing, even if he was all but done in about six months.

Post match Hogan IMMEDIATELY runs out and beats up Andre to clear the ring. Andre wants to come back in but Bobby Heenan holds him off and says not until Hogan signs on the totted line. Hogan poses a lot and yeah there’s no defending how much of a sore loser he’s being here.

In the back, Heenan and Andre say if Hogan wants Andre, sign the contract for another title match.

Hogan is STILL posing and Gorilla is STILL defending him as Jesse is thrilled at the idea of getting out of Cleveland.

A highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. The word here is fun. This is a show that had a concept and they RAN with it, giving us a very entertaining night. No it wasn’t anything that really mattered for the most part, but some of the falls and results could be spun off for months on the house show circuit. The big there here though is that they put a bunch of people (fifty wrestlers in four matches is nuts) on the show so you were almost guaranteed to see someone you liked and it would be hard to not have a good time. I’ve seen this show more often than I can count and it absolutely holds up as a hidden gem of the Golden Era. Check this out if you can.

 

Ratings Comparison

Team Randy Savage vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: B+
2012 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B-

Team Sherri Martel vs. Team Fabulous Moolah

Original: C+
2012 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Team Hart Foundation vs. Team Strike Force

Original: B
2012 Redo: C-
2022 Redo: A-

Team Hogan vs. Team Andre the Giant

Original: B
2012 Redo: B-
2022 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: A-
2012 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

It’s still a good show but WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THAT TAG MATCH???

Here is the original if you’re interested:

And the 2012 Redo:

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2022
Date: July 30, 2022
Location: Nissan Stadium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 48,449
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re still in the stadium for Summerslam and believe it or not, this time we have a main event of Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. The twist this time is that it’s Last Man Standing to add some spice, but there is only so much interest to be had. Other than that, we have Becky Lynch vs. Bianca Belair in a match a year in the making. Oh and Vince McMahon stepped down from WWE eight days before this show so we’re in a VERY new era. With a pair of rematches on top. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on what a CRAZY TOWN Nashville is, with a look at all of the crazy people on the show.

Oh and there’s a pinball theme. A CRAZY pinball theme I’m sure.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Bianca Belair

Lynch, currently in the Big Time Becks villain phase, is challenging after Belair took the title from her at Wrestlemania. Feeling out process to start with Belair powering her away without much trouble. Back up and Belair flips away from her, setting up a heck of a shoulder. Becky takes her down by the arm and cranks back on it though and Belair is in trouble for a change. The bad arm is kicked apart to make it even worse but Belair’s legs are fine enough to hit a dropkick.

They head outside where the KOD onto the announcers’ table is broken up and the arm is banged up again. They get back inside with Lynch snapping off a Bexploder and taking her down in the corner…but Lynch comes up holding her shoulder (uh oh). Lynch is fine enough to go for the leg and then kick Belair to the apron but the middle rope Fameasser is blocked.

They go outside again with Belair Glam Slamming her onto the apron before a posting sends Lynch’s shoulder into the steel. Back in and a handspring moonsault gives Belair two but Lynch is back with Diamond Dust of all things for two of her own. Belair’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana which is countered into a failed KOD attempt. They head outside with the KOD connecting this time, but Lynch just beats the count.

Back in and another KOD is countered but Belair spikes her anyway. Belair takes too long going up and gets Manhandle Slammed for two. With nothing else working, Lynch takes her up top for a super Manhandle Slam, which is reversed into a KOD to retain Belair’s title at 15:11 and win the feud.

Rating: B. Yeah these two fought a lot but they have the chemistry to make it work very well. This was another good back and forth showdown between two of the best women (or anything) that WWE has ever had. It came off like a huge battle and that is the kind of showdown that these two have managed to make possible. The arm work from Becky to take away the power made sense and the fact that she was banged up makes this even more impressive. Heck of a match here and a great opener.

Post match Becky, with her right arm non-functional, shakes Belair’s hand and seems to be good again. With Becky gone, Bayley makes her surprise return after over a year away with a horrible knee injury. Cue the returning Dakota Kai (she’s been gone for a bit), plus the newly named Iyo Sky (no longer Io Shirai). The trio gets in the ring to yell at Belair but Lynch evens things up a bit, sending the villains running off. That would be more or less it for Lynch for about four months, as she would be written off television the following night on Raw due to a shoulder injury and not be back until November.

We recap Miz vs. Logan Paul. They were a team at Wrestlemania and won, but then Miz turned on Paul for no apparent reason. Months later, Miz said that he destroyed Paul, who then announced that he had signed with the company. Now it’s time for Miz to show what he can do, while Paul is back with his first ever singles match.

Miz vs. Logan Paul

Miz has Maryse and Tommaso Ciampa (missing his first name here but just in case you confuse him with Gus Ciampa) with him. Inspired by Paul’s really rare Pokemon card (not here this time), Miz has a one of a kind Polaroid of he and Paul together around his neck. Feeling out process to start with Miz snapmaring him down and mocking Paul a bit, much to Maryse’s delight.

Back up and Paul grabs a waistlock into a fireman’s carry, allowing him to mockingly shove him away with a boot to the head. Miz is sent out side and an apron moonsault takes him down again as Paul is already shining rather well. Back in and Miz crotches him in the ropes, setting up a Codebreaker for two. Ciampa even gets in a cheap shot and we hit the chinlock.

Miz misses the charge in the corner though and Paul is right back with a Blockbuster. Back up and Paul gets two off a running powerslam, followed by the YES Kicks to send Corey Graves that much closer to madness. The Figure Four has Miz in trouble but a rather dramatic rope break gets him out. Paul hits a high crossbody and a standing moonsault for two but Miz kicks him in the face.

Ciampa teases another cheap shot and gets ejected (with the crowd throwing in a YES chant), but Ciampa just sits ringside in a chair. Cue AJ Styles to really chase Ciampa off, leaving Paul to hit a not so phenomenal Phenomenal Forearm. They head outside with Paul loading up the announcers’ table, setting up a heck of a top rope frog splash to drive Miz hard through it. Back in and Maryse distracts the referee but Miz almost runs into her. That’s enough of a distraction to let Paul hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 14:16.

Rating: B. This was up there for best celebrity matches ever and it’s barely even on a sliding scale. Paul was out there showing himself to be able to do all kinds of things in the ring, with that frog splash being a great bonus. It was entirely a showcase for Paul and Miz is the perfect choice to be out there taking the beating. What mattered here was Paul looking like a star and that is exactly what happened here. Heck of a match and WWE has to know what they have here with Paul.

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Theory

Theory, the reigning Mr. Money In The Bank, is challenging and jumps Lashley before the bell. Lashley says he can go and shrugs off Theory’s swarm to start. An elbow to the face into a spinebuster has Theory on the floor and he’s ready to walk. Lashley isn’t having that but Theory is right back with a rolling dropkick for two. For some reason Theory thinks it’s a good idea to slug it out with Lashley, earning himself a powerslam. The spear hits the post but Theory rolls into the Hurt Lock to retain the title at 4:44.

Rating: C-. This could have been on any given Raw and that isn’t good enough for a Summerslam title match. They seemed to be playing up the idea that Theory was saving himself for a potential cash-in later tonight but the Hurt Lock is the kind of move that could make him tap that fast as well. This is something that could have been cut from the show without missing much, though having Lashley on the show is often a good idea.

We recap the Mysterios vs. Judgment Day. The team isn’t happy with Rey Mysterio being a star and attacked him in front of his family. Now it’s time for revenge in a No DQ match.

Judgment Day vs. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio

Rhea Ripley is here with Judgment Day (Finn Balor/Damian Priest) and this is No DQ. Judgment Day jumps them to start and the fight is on fast. Rey hurricanranas Balor though and Dominik dropkicks Priest, setting up the back to back dives to put the villains down. We settle down to a double Russian legsweep dropping Balor but Dominik gets sent into the wrong corner.

The chinlock goes on as the fans are starting to wake up a bit here. Priest adds the Broken Arrow into a slingshot stomp from Dominik but he’s back with a suplex. Rey comes in with a top rope seated senton to Priest. A bulldog plants Priest again so Balor slides in a chair, which Rey picks off without much trouble. Rey grabs the chair and slides down into a splash on Balor for a nasty looking crash.

Back in and Priest boots Rey down for two and Balor adds the shotgun dropkick in the corner. Dominik breaks up the Coup de Grace though and Rey snaps off a top rope hurricanrana, with Priest making the save this time. The double 619 is broken up by Ripley, who drops Dominik face first onto the apron. South Of Heaven hits Rey but Balor wants a chair. Instead he gets the returning Edge, who spears down Judgment Day, setting up Rey’s slingshot splash for the pin on Balor at 11:07.

Rating: C+. The match itself was good enough, but my goodness the fans did not care about what they were seeing here. Granted at this point Judgment Day was one of those things that just kept going and there wasn’t much to get excited about with them, but it shouldn’t take Edge to get the only strong reaction of the match. This was a good example of a match where the fans just didn’t are no matter what was happening, and that’s a bit disappointing.

We recap Happy Corbin vs. Pat McAfee. They’re old friends/roommates from the NFL and McAfee has mocked Corbin’s losing streak. Corbin has attacked McAfee a few times so now it’s time to fight.

Pat McAfee vs. Happy Corbin

McAfee has a choir here to sing about BUM A** CORBIN for a rather unique entrance. They talk a lot of trash to start, with McAfee leading the crowd in their singing. McAfee hits a superkick and a middle rope hurricanrana puts Corbin on the floor. A posting drops Corbin again and McAfee stomps away back inside.

Corbin is put on top but gets shoved down, only to have McAfee moonsault onto his feet. A dropkick (to the stomach) sends McAfee into the corner and Corbin gets to hammer away. The slow beating is on, with a ram into the barricade giving Corbin two. McAfee manages to send him to the floor and hit the slingshot dive, only to be thrown over the announcers’ table.

Back in and McAfee catches him on top, this time jumping (mostly) to the top for a top rope superplex. McAfee slugs away and avoids a charge to send Corbin shoulder first into the post. That lets McAfee go up top and, after getting his balance, hit a top rope flip dive to take Corbin down on the floor. Back in and McAfee knocks Corbin into the referee by mistake, setting up a low blow (payback for Corbin doing the same thing to him the previous night) and a Panama Sunrise to finish Corbin at 10:50.

Rating: B-. McAfee is another of the few celebrities who has figured out how to put together a rather good match. There were some close calls here as McAfee didn’t have everything polished but he made it work well enough. This was an entertaining match and the fans ate McAfee up as usual, while Corbin lost again, also as usual. It might not quite have been the Logan Paul stunt show, but McAfee is certainly worth a look whenever he is out there and has a star power all his own.

We look at Drew McIntyre defeating Sheamus to become #1 contender last night on Smackdown.

Here is McIntyre to talk about how much he loves Nashville, to the point where he lives here. He and Sheamus went to war last night but now it is time to go to to war with Roman Reigns. For now though, it is time for Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar for the first time ever! Uh, in Nissan Stadium in Nashville. Last man standing. McIntyre asks a an for his name (Colt). McIntyre: “IN FRONT OF COLT!” Nice save there and McIntyre raises his sword to set off some pyro and wrap up a quick cameo.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Street Profits

The Usos are defending in a rematch from Money In The Bank where a bad referee cost the Profits the titles. Therefore, Jeff Jarrett of all people is guest referee, just for the save of the country music connection. The Profits come out with the Tennessee Titans cheerleaders for a little bonus. Dawkins and Jimmy start things off with Jeff having t pull both of them out of the corner.

Jey comes in off a quick tag for a modified Demolition Decapitator for two. It’s already back to Jimmy for a chinlock as this isn’t the fastest pace to start. The running hip attack connects but a second one misses, allowing Dawkins to enziguri his way out of trouble. Ford and Jey come in to pick up things up a lot, with Ford’s high crossbody getting two. A rather loud chop only seems to wake Jey up though and it’s a pop up neckbreaker for two on Ford.

Back up and Ford slips over for the tag to Dawkins and house is rapidly cleaned, including a huge flip dive to the floor. Back in and the Anointment gives Dawkins two on Jimmy but Jey is back in to cut him off. A superkick into the Superfly Splash gives Jimmy two, setting up the double Superfly Splash with Ford having to make a save.

Jey almost superkicks Jarrett by mistake but walks into a spinebuster. Ford’s very high frog splash gets a delayed two, meaning it’s time to yell at Jarrett (who did nothing wrong, along with the nothing he has done for the rest of the match). A dive is cut off by a double superkick to the….some part of Ford’s body. Back in and more superkicks hit Dawkins, setting up the 1D to retain at 13:22.

Rating: B. I remember wondering what Jarrett was going to add coming into this and coming up with an answer of “nothing”. The fact that I didn’t remember him being involved in this match at all didn’t help things and there was nothing to having him here. At the same time, you had these teams with some great chemistry having a good, pay per view worthy match. The Usos were still doing some awesome stuff with the titles, even if they had to deal with such a lame choice for guest referee.

Matt Riddle (not medically cleared) runs in through the crowd and calls out Seth Rollins for a fight. Rollins comes out to meet him in the aisle, gets the better of it, and Stomps (how Riddle was hurt in the first place) Riddle down again.

We recap Liv Morgan challenging Ronda Rousey for the Smackdown Women’s Title. Morgan cashed in Money In The Bank on an injured Rousey to win the title so now it’s time for the match with Rousey ready coming in.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Liv Morgan

Morgan is defending and Rousey flips her over to start. A running knee rocks Morgan and another throw gets two. Morgan comes back with a Codebreaker but Oblivion is easily blocked. Rousey tries to get her down but is reversed into a double arm crank. That and a crucifix bomb get two on Rousey, who is right back with the armbar. Morgan tries to slip out but gets pulled into it again, this time making the rope for the break. Rousey gets the armbar again so Morgan stacks it up for the pin at 4:35…..despite tapping before the pin.

Rating: C-. Morgan was on a roll on the way to Money In The Bank and then just died once she got the title via the cash-in. This was Morgan mostly getting squashed before tapping out and retaining anyway. If WWE wanted Morgan to be a big star, they needed to actually put her over someone rather than these screwy finishes. It didn’t do Morgan any favors and Rousey hardly looked better either.

Post match Rousey protests and armbars Morgan…and the referee. Replays show that Morgan tapped way before the three count.

Here is Kane to announce the attendance: 48,449. I believe he has some questions about those numbers.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar in a Last Man Standing match for Reigns’ WWE Universal Title. In short, Randy Orton was supposed to get the shot but was too hurt so it’s time to break the Lesnar glass. Not the most thrilling match, but fair enough that they didn’t have a better option. The video also teases Austin Theory cashing in his briefcase.

WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Reigns, with Paul Heyman (but without the Usos, who he sends to the back), is defending in a Last Man Standing match. Lesnar starts walking to the ring but stops to put on a flannel shirt and cowboy hat….so he can drive a tractor to the ring. There is no way this can end well. As Lesnar stands in the loader of the tractor, he cuts off the introductions and does his own, before flipping the mic to Reigns…..who snatches it out of the air in one hand (not shown but find the clip as it’s rather awesome).

Lesnar then DIVES out of the tractor onto Reigns and a clothesline takes it to the floor. There’s the overhead belly to belly on the floor as Lesnar is starting very fast. Another suplex of the steps has Reigns rocked and they head into the crowd, where Lesnar suplexes him onto a platform. Reigns gets in a quick shot but is promptly suplexed back to ringside. The table is set up but a Heyman distraction lets Reigns put Lesnar through it instead.

Lesnar is back up so Reigns steps him in the face. Back in and Reigns hits a pair of Superman Punches, followed by the first (of probably many) spear. Another spear is blocked and Lesnar sends him outside in a crash. Lesnar slams him into part of a broken table before getting back in the tractor. After fiddling with it a bit, Lesnar gets out and hits Reigns with the steps instead.

A piece of a broken table to the head puts Reigns down again but he staggers to his feet. That doesn’t work for Lesnar, who puts him in the front loaded and drops him into the ring for a crash. With that not being enough, Lesnar snaps off some German suplexes and the F5 gets nine. Another F5 is countered into the guillotine but Lesnar reverses into one of his own. Lesnar lets him go and Reigns is up at nine again.

That doesn’t work for Lesnar….who uses the tractor to LIFT UP THE RING and send Reigns falling out to the floor. Reigns is up again (and so is the ring, which is still up on the tractor, meaning a big middle finger to fans on that side of the ring, who can’t see a thing right now) so cue the Usos to go after Lesnar. They’re wrecked in short order so Heyman hands Lesnar the titles in an attempt to get him off Reigns.

That earns Heyman an F5 through the announcers’ table (egads the impact), allowing Reigns to hit a spear. They’re both down so heeeeeeere’s Theory with the briefcase! Before the bell can ring, Lesnar F5’s him on the floor to cut that off in a hurry. The Usos are back up to superkick Lesnar, who gets up again.

Reigns hits another spear, followed by another spear. With that not working either, Reigns hits Theory with the briefcase and then unloads on Lesnar with the thing. That’s only good for nine, so Reigns belts him in the head but Lesnar is up AGAIN. Another belt shot connects so Reigns and the Usos bury Lesnar with everything they can find at ringside to finally keep him down and retain the title at 22:54.

Rating: B. This was the fight that you would expect from these guys under these circumstances and that’s exactly what it needed to be. Sometimes you need two people to beat the daylights out of each other with one big shot after another and that’s what you got here. Lesnar might not have been the biggest threat to win the title, but sometimes you need a match where the champion has to fight really hard to keep the title. Rather good main event and that’s as good as you could have gotten here.

Reigns poses as what used to be Heyman is carried out to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. WWE had a rather strong show here with the bigger matches more than delivering. There’s nothing on here to make it a classic but it’s a three and a half hour show with some very good stuff throughout. The weaker points are kept short and I had a lot of fun throughout. This is what Summerslam tends to be like and they made a rather transitional time in the company’s history work out.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Becky Lynch – KOD
Logan Paul b. The Miz – Skull Crushing Finale
Bobby Lashley b. Theory – Hurt Lock
Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio b. Judgment Day – Slingshot splash to Balor
Pat McAfee b. Baron Corbin – Panama Sunrise
Usos b. Street Profits – 1D to Dawkins
Ronda Rousey b. Liv Morgan – Rollup
Roman Reigns b. Brock Lesnar when Lesnar could not answer the ten count

Ratings Comparison

Bianca Belair b. Becky Lynch

Original: B
2023 Redo: B

Logan Paul vs. The Miz

Original: C+
2023 Redo: B

Theory vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: C-
2023 Redo: C-

Judgment Day vs. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio

Original: C
2023 Redo: C+

Baron Corbin vs. Pat McAfee

Original: C
2023 Redo: B-

Usos vs. Street Profits

Original: C+
2023 Redo: B

Ronda Rousey vs. Liv Morgan

Original: C-
2023 Redo: C-

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B-
2023 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C+
2023 Redo: B+

Dang I underrated some of those earlier matches, especially Miz vs. Logan Paul.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2021
Date: August 21, 2021
Location: Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 51,326
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s time for one of the biggest Summerslams ever, as this is the first major event after the attendance restrictions were lifted after the Coronavirus pandemic. They need a major main event to make that work and that is what they have with John Cena challenging Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. Other than that, we have Bobby Lashley vs. Goldberg for the WWE Title because we must have Goldberg. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Big E. vs. Baron Corbin

Baron’s Happy days weren’t here yet. Some woman from Tik Tok is a guest ring announcer and Big E. doesn’t have his Money In The Bank briefcase as Corbin stole it from him. The rather sad Corbin clutches the briefcase and gets belly to belly suplexed to start. Big E. misses the apron splash though and Corbin is thrilled with the idea of winning via countout.

That doesn’t work so Corbin sends him into the post a few times, setting up the chinlock to keep Big E. down. A chokeslam is countered into a stretch muffler of all things but Corbin slips out and hits Deep Six for two. Corbin heads outside to grab the briefcase, earning himself a ram into the barricade. Back in and the Big Ending is good enough to finish Corbin at 6:31.

Rating: C. Set up a quick story on TV and then pay it off with a fast match here. That’s all you need to do for a Kickoff Show match and seeing the horrible loser take another loss will always work. Things would get better for Corbin soon, while Big E. would wind up having a pretty lame WWE Title reign, though at least he got there.

We’re in Las Vegas so the opening video has a poker theme, which lasts all of a few moments before going into the look at the matches, as expected. Also as expected, John Cena vs. Roman reigns feels way bigger than anything else.

Those stadium shows always look awesome and that is the case again here.

Raw Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. AJ Styles/Omos

RKBro is challenging after reuniting last week to go after the titles. Orton and Styles start (not a bad choice) with Orton sending him flying with an early suplex. It’s off to Riddle so Styles bails to the floor and assaults the announcers’ table. Back in and Styles hands it off to Omos for the big slam on Riddle. Styles puts the chinlock on but Riddle elbows his way out of the fireman’s carry. That lets Riddle hit a running knee on Omos but Styles is there to cut off a diving tag to Orton.

The comeback is on, including a backdrop to Styles and forearms to Omos. Orton powerslams Styles and, after knocking Omos off the apron, hits the hanging DDT. Omos saves Styles from the RKO though and then chokeslams Riddle onto the apron. Riddle is back up with a posting for Omos but Styles is back with a moonsault from the apron into a reverse DDT to drop Riddle hard. Back in and Styles blocks the RKO, only to get caught with the second attempt to give Orton the pin and the titles at 7:05.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t quite a classic but it makes perfect sense to put this on first. The fans loved RKBro and letting them have their big win was going to get the show started in the right direction. Styles and Omos were fine for a pretty nice title reign, but you’re only going to get so much out of that. Good choice for the opener here and Orton getting some focus is almost always a good thing.

Riddle being so freaking happy over the win is a great thing.

We recap Alexa Bliss vs. Eva Marie, which is over Bliss’ doll Lillie being all evil. Eva wanted Doudrop to go after Bliss but she was scared of the doll, meaning Eva and Doudrop aren’t in a great place coming in.

Eva Marie vs. Alexa Bliss

Doudrop is here with Marie. Sign in the crowd: “Eva Marie is worse than an airport tuna sandwich.” Points for creative, which cancels out the negative points for the massive CGI Lillie doll. During the entrance, we get a quick look at Lillie being able to sit up and wink, because of course she can. Bliss dodges a few charges to start and Eva falls out to the floor.

Back in and Bliss elbows her in the face as they’re going in very slow motion to start. Eva gets in a few shots but stops to slap Lillie, who she also uses to slap Bliss. That’s enough to send Bliss into a rage for some bad right hands, setting up a flipping splash for two. Doudrop insists that she believe in Eva as Lillie is sat back on top. Bliss sends her into the corner but misses Twisted Bliss to give Eva two. Back up and Bliss hits a DDT (which Marie falls too soon on) for the pin at 3:50. Doudrop seems well pleased.

Rating: D-. This was one of those matches that would have felt like a bad filler on Raw, let alone getting time on one of the biggest shows of the year. Eva was brought back in for star power but then she has a match like this and so much of it is dropped out the window. Bliss was better, but the Lillie stuff was killing her and that was getting more and more obvious every week.

Post match Doudrop makes sure to announce Eva as the loser of the match.

Mario Lopez, in a swank Hart Foundation shirt, brings in RKBro with Randy Orton promising that it is going to be smooths ailing for the team going forward. He’s still getting used to the Bro name though. Riddle has a surprise for him on Raw too, which would wind up being a scooter (with tassels).

United States Title: Sheamus vs. Damian Priest

Priest is challenging after beating Sheamus in a non-title match, where he re-injured Sheamus’ nose (hence a protective mask). Sheamus headlocks him down to start before switching into a hammerlock. Back up and Priest rocks him with a right hand before muscling him up for the Broken Arrow. Sheamus is sent outside so there’s the running step up flip dive to take him out again.

Priest’s spin kick is countered and he gets sent hard into the post, meaning it’s time to slow down a bit. A belly to back suplex sets up a chinlock but Priest is right back up. That works for Sheamus, who plants him with the Irish Curse and stops to pose. Priest powers out of another chinlock and hurricanranas his way out of a powerbomb, only to get powerslammed for two more.

Back up and Sheamus stops to check his hair, allowing Priest to get in a running tornado DDT but his back seems to be flaring up. The back is fine enough to hit a top rope spinwheel kick but Sheamus snaps him throat first across the top to break up a…..something. A top rope clothesline into an Alabama Slam gives Sheamus two and frustration is setting in.

The Brogue Kick is countered with a kick to the head though and Priest grabs South Of Heaven for two more. Sheamus knees him out of the air for two of his own and it’s off to a heel hook of all things. Priest fights up and rips off the mask, allowing him to hammer away. A kick to the face sets up the Reckoning to give Priest the pin and the title at 13:49.

Rating: B-. That’s the kind of big time fight that you need to have in a spot like this and they did the right thing with the ending. Priest took every big thing that Sheamus had and then won clean with his finisher. WWE set Priest up in the last few months and then paid him off with a win here, which is what you’re supposed to do. Nicely done.

We recap Dominik Mysterio causing issues for his dad, because they have literally been teasing this split for over a year now.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Mysterios

The Usos are defending. Rey hammers on Jimmy to start but it’s too early for the 619. The Usos are both sent outside with Rey hitting the sliding splash, followed by a springboard dive from Dominik. Dominik comes in for Three Amigos to Jimmy but Jey breaks up the frog splash with a shove out to the floor. The top rope Demolition Decapitator hits Dominik for no cover and Jimmy adds a running headbutt for two.

Dominik tries to fight out of the corner and gets BLASTED with an uppercut to drop him again. Jey hits Two Amigos and stops to pose before shouting some Spanish. A neckbreaker gets Dominik out of trouble though and there’s the hot tag to Mysterio to start cleaning house.

The tornado DDT gets two on Jimmy and the top rope seated senton puts him down again. Everything breaks down and it’s a superkick into the Superfly Splash for two on Rey. Dominik is back in and gets dropped on the apron like the schmuck that he is. Jimmy misses another Superfly Splash but he raises his knees to block a frog splash. The double superkick sets up the Superfly Splash to retain the titles at 10:48.

Rating: C+. The Usos and Rey managed to overcome Dominik’s extreme level of bleh to have a decent match. The Usos are able to have a pretty good match against anyone and that is what they did again here. It’s a rematch from another recent title change so there was only so much interest, but that has been the chance for either Tag Team Titles for years now.

Actress Tiffany Haddish introduces the new National Champion Damian Priest, who doesn’t like bullies. He likes being the UNITED STATES Champion though.

Rick Boogs plays new Intercontinental Champion Rick Boogs to the ring, allowing Pat McAfee to dance on the announcers’ table.

We recap Sasha Banks vs. Bianca Belair for the latter’s Smackdown Women’s Title. Belair beat her at Wrestlemania to win the title so Banks left (as she does) and then came back for a rematch. However, there were rumors that Banks wasn’t cleared to wrestle so things might be up in the air.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Sasha Banks

Hold on though as Banks isn’t cleared to compete (right) so we have a replacement.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Carmella

Belair is….hang on a second.

BECKY LYNCH IS BACK beats the heck out of Carmella, meaning we have a replacement (again).

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch

Belair is defending and it’s a right hand into the Manhandle Slam to make Lynch champion at 25 seconds.

And for those you keeping track, had it been Banks vs. Belair, it would indeed be the same story for Belair at back to back Summerslams.

WWE is going back to Saudi Arabia and yes, it’s amazing, mainly because they’ve been well paid to say so.

Tamyra Mensah-Stock and Gable Steveson, Olympic gold medal winners in wrestling, are here for a nice presentation.

We get the same WWE Shop commercial for the third time in less than two hours.

Drew McIntyre vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal cost Drew Money in the Bank so tonight it’s about revenge with Mahal’s goons barred from ringside. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start and hits a quick clothesline, followed by the toss suplex. A trip to the floor goes badly for Mahal as well, so McIntyre throws him back inside for some begging. Mahal brings up their previous friendship before getting in a superkick for two. The chinlock doesn’t do much to McIntyre so it’s the Glasgow Kiss into a series of overhead belly to belly suplexes. The Futureshock into the Claymore finishes Mahal at 4:36.

Rating: D+. Yeah what were you expecting here? Mahal has long since stopped meaning anything so having McIntyre beat him without much trouble was the only way to go. That’s what they did here and it was a fine way to go, albeit in a bad match. You can only get so much out of a match that is this one sided though and that’s what brought this down.

Post match Veer and Shanky come to the ring to go after McIntyre, who chases them off with the sword.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match, with new champion Nikki Ash defending against Charlotte and Rhea Ripley. Nikki cashed in Money in the Bank on Charlotte, who had been beaten down by Ripley. Tonight it’s time to crush Nikki once and for all, because she has been treated like a loser since she won the title in the first place, because A, Charlotte and B, it’s a really stupid gimmick.

Raw Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Nikki Ash

Nikki is defending and, after some Big Match Intros, gets shoved down by Charlotte to start. The monkey flip takes Charlotte down and a rollup gets two on Ripley. Back up and Charlotte tosses Nikki out, leaving Ripley to shoulder Charlotte into the corner. Nikki comes back in so Charlotte can beat up both of them at once, including slamming Ash onto Ripley for the double stack.

The moonsault hits Ripley’s raised boot though, leaving Nikki to counter Riptide into a crossbody for two. Charlotte and Ripley mess up something so Charlotte hits a big boot for two of her own. Nikki is sent outside and another big boot sends Ripley outside. A tornado DDT drops Charlotte to give Nikki two but Ripley is back in to German suplex both of them at once.

Ripley’s missile dropkick gets two on Charlotte, leaving Ripley with the stunned kickout face. Charlotte and Ripley brawl to the floor for the slugout until Nikki dives onto both of them for no reaction. Back in and Ripley and Ash go for a double suplex on Charlotte, who counters into a double DDT, then knocks them both outside (because of course she does). Charlotte corkscrew moonsaults onto both of them, with Ash being driven HARD into the barricade.

Ripley finally gets in a big boot on Charlotte and Prism Traps Nikki, only to have Charlotte break it up again. The Prism Trap to Charlotte is countered into the Figure Eight but Nikki dives off the top for the save. Nikki hits the Reckoning for two on Charlotte with Ripley making a save this time. The Riptide is countered into a DDT to send Ripley outside and this isn’t looking good for Nikki. A high crossbody misses for Nikki and Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight to get the title back at 13:03.

Rating: C+. While it’s an entertaining match, this made me mad last year and it’s doing it again here. Nikki might as well have been a lamb led to the slaughter here, as Ripley looks like a killer and Charlotte looks like a star, while Nikki looks like a mascot of a low rent kids’ birthday party place. Throw in Charlotte being booked like a train here and then getting Nikki to tap in the end and this was ALL about Charlotte, as is far too often the case anytime she’s around. Nikki being called ALMOST A Superhero was bad enough, but then she’s just a meal for Charlotte, like so many others have been over the years.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Edge. Rollins cost Edge the universal Title against Roman Reigns last month, which is apparently tied to a moment in 2014, when the Shield teased attacking Edge and almost wiped him out. Now Edge knows that if Rollins hits the Curb Stomp, his career is probably over. I’m not sure how good of a feud it was, but Edge facing someone new is a fun thing to see.

Edge vs. Seth Rollins

I almost didn’t recognize Rollins without his Freakin. Edge comes out with a hybrid Brood/Metalingus theme for a pretty awesome moment. Feeling out process to start with Edge grabbing a headlock and then knocking Rollins to the floor for some frustration. Back in and Rollins forearms away but gets backdropped right back over the top for a crash. Edge sends him back inside and then outside again but this time Rollins drives him into the post.

A trip into the steps makes it worse and Rollins grabs a neckbreaker for two back inside. Rollins hits a Sling Blade but Edge is smart enough to go to the ropes before the Stomp can launch. Yet another neckbreaker is countered though and Edge grabs a flapjack for a breather. Rollins is able to knock him off the top, setting up a heck of a frog splash for two. Another Stomp attempt is avoided so they go up top at the same time, with Edge grabbing a super swinging neckbreaker (which would seem to hurt them both equally).

It’s Edge up first with a big boot and the Edgecution for two, leaving him a bit frustrated this time. The Edge-O-Matic is good for the same but Rollins suplexes him down. Another Stomp misses so Edge grabs a Glam Slam for two (nice touch). Edge has to avoid another Stomp and sends Rollins into the post, setting up a spear through the ropes and out to the floor for the crash.

Rollins is driven into the apron and the screen (because there’s a screen) is knocked out to give Edge two more. The spear is countered into the Pedigree (how Rollins beat Roman Reigns one day) for another near fall, meaning it’s Rollins being stunned this time. With nothing on the ground working, Rollins goes up top for the Phoenix splash, only to get speared down for another near fall.

With nothing else working, Rollins just hits him in the back of the neck, setting up a basement superkick to the back of the head. Rollins goes for the Stomp yet again but gets reversed into the Edgecator of all things, with Edge letting go to switch into the Crossface. Edge rams him face first into the mat and makes it a Crossface sleeper for the tap at 21:14.

Rating: B. They beat each other up for a long time until Edge got him in the end. The story here centered around the Stomp and it was a logical way to go given the buildup from that 2014 segment. That being said, going off a segment from seven years ago that wasn’t so interesting in the first place and it was a weird build to get there. Good match, but the road there could have been better.

Money In The Bank is in a football stadium next year. Gee that’s a quick turnaround for the same stadium but I’m sure nothing will go wrong.

Tonight’s attendance of 51,326 is officially announced.

Earlier tonight, John Morrison and Miz drove a water truck into the stadium.

Here are Miz and John Morrison for a chat. They’re ready to soak everyone….but Morrison has forgotten the Drip Stick 2000s. Miz doesn’t have them either, so here is Xavier Woods with the Drip Stick 2000 (a water cannon with a water tank attached). Woods is told he’s outnumbered but he does a survey (as part of his weird NWO tribute phase) and then sprays both of them down. And that’s it, as the crowd was SILENT during this.

We recap Goldberg vs. Bobby Lashley for the WWE Title. Goldberg showed up as a challenger (as he tends to do) and the match was made, but then Lashley and MVP went after Goldberg’s son Gage (who looked like he would rather be having his teeth pulled out than be here) to make it personal. In other words, it’s a battle of the spears because WWE thinks that is the most amazing idea ever.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley, with MVP, is defending. After the Big Match Intros, they go with the power off to start, with Goldberg hitting a flying shoulder and a World’s Strongest Slam. Back up and Lashley knocks him down with a hard shot of his own. Neither can hit a Jackhammer though so Lashley gets in some shots to the back of the neck. For some reason Lashley goes up top but gets slammed down, meaning MVP needs to offer a distraction.

That’s fine with Goldberg, who hits the spear on the floor to rock Lashley again. With nothing else working, MVP hits Goldberg in the knee with his cane, allowing Lashley to hit a chop block. A spinebuster puts Goldberg down again and he rolls outside for a rather out of character move. Lashley follows and drives the knee into the post twice in a row….which is enough for the referee stoppage at 7:12 as Goldberg can’t stand.

Rating: D+. Yeah it wasn’t awful, but at the same tome it is really hard to find any reason to be interested in Goldberg. All he does is come in, do some lame story, and then get a title match. That wasn’t the case here, and Lashley can only do so much. Nothing to see here, but at least Goldberg is done again for the time being.

Post match Lashley stays on Goldberg with a chair, but Goldberg’s son comes in to jump Lashley. That earns him a Hurt Lock, but MVP points out who it is and Lashley lets him go. Goldberg swears vengeance and covers his son as MVP says Lashley had no way of knowing who that was. BECAUSE THIS NEEDED A REMATCH!

We recap Roman Reigns vs. John Cena for the Universal Title. Reigns has been champion for about a year so now it’s Cena coming in for the dream match. Reigns talked about how Cena never changes (Reigns: “It’s like missionary position EVERY NIGHT!”) but Cena says Reigns has to change every few years because people stop caring. Cena also brought up that all it takes is three seconds to win the title, no matter what Reigns does to him. Oh and if Reigns loses, he’s leaving WWE, because WWE likes to take away any drama they might build up.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman, is defending. Cena comes out first and my goodness you can feel the star power dripping off of him like no one else that you ever see. As a great touch, the screen behind Cena’s entrance shows his sixteen World Titles, including the dates he won them. They take their time before eventually locking up for a standoff. Cena rolls him up for two and points it out to Reigns as the mind games are on.

That doesn’t work for Reigns, who knocks him down and then does it again to make it worse. A snap suplex gives Reigns two and we hit the chinlock. Cena gets tossed outside and there’s the big whip into the steps, allowing Reigns to pose again. Reigns can even stop to pose on the steps with the title but Cena gets in a quick rollup for two (in a great touch because it’s THAT CLOSE to the upset).

A quick AA attempt is countered into a DDT to give Reigns two, allowing him to apologize to movie executives for hurting Cena. Reigns cuts off a comeback attempt with a right hand and says this is easy. Another AA attempt is countered into a sleeper, with Cena powering up to drive him into the corner. Reigns still isn’t impressed, so Cena hits that big running clothesline of his for a needed breather.

Back up and Cena hits the running shoulders into the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is countered into a quickly broken guillotine though, leaving Reigns to hit a Superman Punch to take over again. The spear is cut off with a kick to the face and now the Shuffle connects. There’s the AA for two (with Cole freaking out on commentary to give away the kickout). The STF sends Reigns to the rope for the break so Cena follows him outside, earning himself an apron kick to the face.

Reigns gets a running start but charges into an AA through the announcers’ table for two back inside, leaving Cena frustrated. Cena goes up top but dives into a powerbomb for two and needs to pull himself up in the corner. The spear misses in the corner though and it’s the super AA for two, with the Reigns Leaves If He Loses stipulation being brought up for the first time all match. For some reason Cena tries his own spear but gets kicked in the face. They slug it out with Reigns hitting the Superman Punch into a spear to retain at 23:00.

Rating: B+. This wasn’t the best match in the world, but it was all about the big match atmosphere. That was hitting completely, as Cena knows how to bring the feeling like no one else these days. While it wasn’t likely that Cena was going to win, there was the feeling that it could happen and that’s good enough. Throw in Cena knowing how to do this match just well enough and it felt like a main event worth title match between two titans.

Post match Reigns poses but here is Brock Lesnar, making his first appearance in well over a year. Lesnar circles the ring and then stands on the steps before the staredown sends Reigns backing away. While the feud is tired, this would lead to a heck of a story as Paul Heyman was stuck between the two of them and even switched sides for a few weeks. Anyway, Lesnar poses as reigns and Heyman leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Most of the bigger matches clicked well, but there were enough things bringing the rest of the show down. The biggest thing though was the crowd actually being around, as it adds so much to the show. This was a rare situation where Summerslam was a way bigger show than Wrestlemania and the quality was good enough too. The bad parts are pretty bad but the stronger parts of the card carried it over. Solid show, but fast forward some of those weaker points.

Ratings Comparison

Big E. vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C
Redo: C

RKBro vs. AJ Styles/Omos

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Eva Marie vs Alexa Bliss

Original: F
Redo: D-

Sheamus vs. Damian Priest

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Usos vs. Mysterios

Original: C-
Redo: C+

Becky Lynch vs. Bianca Belair

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

Jinder Mahal vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: D+
Redo: D+

Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte vs. AJ Styles

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Seth Rollins vs. Edge

Original: B+
Redo: B

Bobby Lashley vs. Goldberg

Original: D+
Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

Original: A-
Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+
Redo: B-

Mostly the same here, though some of the bad stuff pulled the original down a bit.

Here is the original review if you’re interested:

 

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AND

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Summerslam 2007
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

This is a bit of a weird show as it is built around the two World Title matches, but two of the other big matches involve people who have been gone for months. We’ll be seeing Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the Raw World Title while Great Khali defends the Smackdown World Title against Batista. At the same time, Rey Mysterio and HHH are back after some long layoffs, making the build for this a bit weird. Let’s get to it.

The opening video narrates a look at Mysterio returning and the regular World Title matches, making it feel like a TV show.

Then we get the REAL opening, with the “We Can Rebuild Him” video on the returning HHH, the actual star of the show.

Kane vs. Finlay

Grudge match after Finlay accidentally knocked a cup of coffee Kane. Worked for Jericho in 2000. Kane, with his injured ribs, knocks Finlay into the corner to start and grabs a slam to keep him in early trouble. Some uppercuts in the corner set up some choking on the ropes before Kane knocks him over the top. That’s not enough for Kane, who boots him in the face, only to get hit in the ribs.

Back in and a backsplash gives Finlay two and it’s off to a half crab. Kane fights up again and it’s an enziguri to put Finlay down for a change. A one armed side slam gives Kane two and there’s the top rope clothesline to rock Finlay again. Finlay is right back with a shot to the ring but it’s Hornswoggle time.

You don’t do that to Kane, who shoves Hornswoggle down but can’t chokeslam Finlay due to the bad ribs. JBL: “He has won a WWE Championship with that chokeslam.” No, he hasn’t. Finlay unhooks the turnbuckle pad, which is enough for him to sneak in the Shillelagh (with an assist from Hornswoggle) shot to the ribs for two. That’s too much for Kane, who sends him into the post and grabs the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about taking two hard hitting guys and letting them beat on each other for a little while. That’s how you start a show and it worked well enough, as they both know how to do this match really well. Not a classic opener or anything close, but it was fun to watch two guys like this do their thing.

Vince McMahon and Coach joins the General Managers in a party themed move. McMahon thinks the mother of his illegitimate son wants a payday but here is Santino Marella to suggest he is said son. That’s rejected, so here is MVP to say he wants to issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy for something other than a match. Vince is down for that, but William Regal thinks Vince’s son would be more, uh, regal. Everyone else leaves and Vince seems disturbed by the thought of being with an Englishwoman.

Video on Rey Mysterio. Did you know he’s back tonight?

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. They stare at each other to start and Umaga punches both of them in the face before sending them into various corners. Carlito and Kennedy need a breather on the floor and decide to go for a distraction, which goes horribly wrong as well. Kennedy saves Carlito from the running hip attack in the corner though and it’s a running boot to drive Umaga’s head into the steps. That leaves Kennedy to stomp on Carlito inside but he’s right back with a springboard elbow.

They seem to be going as fast as they can because Umaga is up, meaning it’s an uppercut from the floor to drop Carlito. Kennedy saves him from a Stinger Splash in the corner though and a shot to Umaga’s head gets two. Umaga isn’t about to get double suplexed so he suplexes both of them at the same time instead. The monster awakens and wrecks both of them, including the running hip attack in the corner to Carlito. Kennedy knocks Umaga outside…but Umaga is right back in with the Samoan Spike to finish Kennedy to retain.

Rating: C. It was little more than a Raw match and that didn’t exactly leave us with a great showcase. The good thing is that Umaga looked like a monster out there as Kennedy and Carlito combined completely failed to stop him. That’s the kind of win that will build Umaga back up even more and that is going to make the person who finally stops him look even bigger, as it should.

Undertaker is back at Unforgiven.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Chavo put Rey on the shelf for knee surgery and is now laughing at the idea that Rey is coming back. Revenge seems imminent.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Rey’s torso is covered in silver paint because he can be a bit odd with some of his costume ideas. They talk trash to each other to start until Rey hits him in the face. Chavo goes after the knee but Rey slips away without much effort. The test of strength is on, allowing them to flip around a lot with neither getting very far.

Another try for the knee works better for Chavo as the leg is wrapped around the middle rope. Rey isn’t having that and kicks Chavo outside before taking him back in for some knee work of his own. There’s a middle rope hurricanrana to send Chavo flying again but he catches Rey in the Tree of Woe to go after the knee again. Said knee is wrapped around the post as we get to the meat of things. The stretch muffler has Rey in more trouble and there’s a dropkick to the knee.

The knee is fine enough to hit an enziguri but it gives out on the 619 attempt. Rey has to get to the ropes to get out of a half crab and now it’s Chavo’s turn to be in the Tree of Woe. That doesn’t last long either so Rey sends him outside for a running seated senton off the apron. Rey misses a high crossbody back inside though and it’s a Gory Bomb to give Chavo two. Another 619 attempt misses and Chavo hits a few Amigos. Rey isn’t having that though and it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. As expected, this was a good match between two talented wrestlers, though I’m still not sure how much interest there was going to be in Chavo as a focal point. He’s a very good worker, but he is more a solid hand than a featured player. That being said, this was all about Rey being back and getting to shake the rust off, which worked well in his first match in a long time.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell say Rey Mysterio’s return may have been great, but HHH’s return will be an entrance, followed by him bowing down to King Booker.

Battle Royal

Maria, Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Kristal, Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Brooke

The winner gets a future Women’s Title shot against Candice Michelle, who is at ringside. It’s a brawl to start, as it should be, with a bunch of brawling around the ring. Jillian gets rid of Maria and Layla is gone soon after. Brooke seems to have been tossed somewhere in there too and Kristal gets rid of Victoria (that’s an upset).

Michelle knocks Kristal out and there goes Kelly (through the ropes, because over the top is a bit too much). Torrie helps get rid of Jillian and Melina knocks out Mickie. We’re down to Michelle, Melina, Beth and Torrie, with Melina being knocked out by Michelle. Beth gets rid of Torrie without much effort and we’re down to two. Michelle tries a kick and is tossed out to give Beth the win.

Rating: D. What else did you expect here? There are only a few women who are ready to challenge for the title and Beth is about as good of a choice as you could have here. Beth is a different kind of monster and we should be in for a showdown with Candice. At least they kept this moving, as that is the best idea they could have had here.

Almost immediately as soon as the match is over, here is MVP, with a few guys carrying a cooler, to say no one paid to see these women. You need him on the show, so MVP talks about how he used to drink beer. His tastes have changed now that he is rich, but tonight it’s time for a beer drinking contest with Matt Hardy.

Hold on though, as Matt brings up MVP using a surrogate for their boxing match. Well Matt (who somehow knew this would be a drinking contest) has his own surrogate: Steve Austin. Cue Austin, who warms up for the contest with some rope running and pushups but it’s a Stunner before the first beer is consumed. A lot of drinking ensues. Nothing wrong with a surprise appearance like this, even if Austin didn’t say a word.

Wrestlemania is coming to Orlando.

Vince McMahon is still in the office with the bosses when Cryme Tyme interrupts. They think “Vinnie Mac” (Vince: “Vinnie Mac?”) might be their dad and it’s time to chant MONEY MONEY YEAH YEAH. Everyone dances around Vince, including William Regal in a hat. Cue Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Video on John Morrison.

ECW World Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is defending and gets taken down without much trouble to start. Punk wins a grapple off to start and hits a hiptoss before hitting a triangle dropkick to the floor. Back up and Morrison hits a neckbreaker onto the apron, allowing him to hammer away with some right hands.

We hit the chinlock with an arm trap, which Tazz doesn’t seem to notice as a version of the Tazmission. A regular chinlock doesn’t work either and Punk is back up with a middle rope crossbody for two of his own. The scoop powerslam gets two more but it’s a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to give Morrison two more. Back up and Punk crotches Morrison on the top and they’re both down for a bit. Punk’s top rope hurricanrana is countered though and Morrison puts his feet on the ropes for the stolen pin to retain.

Rating: C. These two have had more than a few matches now and it wasn’t exactly anything better than their previous stuff. Punk has lost to Morrison time after time now and there isn’t much left for these two to do with each other. The other problem is that there isn’t anything else for Punk on ECW, but he has to win something soon. Not a bad match, but it could have been on ECW TV.

King Booker vs. HHH

This is HHH’s first match since January after another torn quadricep. Booker, with Queen Sharmell, thinks there is only one king around here. Naturally HHH gets a big special entrance video, including the WE CAN REBUILD HIM deal. Commentary tries to put it over like the 2002 MSG return and it’s just not there.

Booker slugs away to start but gets punched outside without much trouble. Back in and HHH gets cut off with an elbow to the head, only to get knocked right back to the floor. HHH gets to punch him in the face a bit more, setting up the facebuster for two back inside. Booker gets smart by going after the leg, only to have HHH take out Booker’s leg instead.

The Figure Four goes on so Sharmell rakes the eyes for a save. The slugout goes to HHH, and he tosses Booker outside for a whip into the steps. They head back inside for the spinebuster but Booker breaks up the Pedigree attempt. Some knees to the head set up a side slam but Booker misses the Houston Hangover. The Pedigree finishes Booker without much effort.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t a disaster but it was far from as good as you would have expected from these two. HHH shrugged off everything Booker threw at him and then won clean in the end, which isn’t exactly surprising. I would have expected a bit more than about eight minutes, but odds are they didn’t want to leave HHH out there to get winded early. This could have been worse, though it was pretty lame, all things considered.

We recap Batista vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. Khali is the new unstoppable monster and Batista is one of the only people who can come after him. That’s a bit of a problem though, as Khali’s Claw/vice grip are rather deadly.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is challenging and gets pounded down in the corner to start. Khali sends him outside in a heap and hits the big chop on the way back in. That’s only good for two so Khali sends him shoulder first into the post, setting up the nerve hold. The rope is grabbed, meaning it’s a forearm to the back and another nerve hold goes on.

Cole describes the reaction as the fans getting restless, which is certainly one way to go. Batista fights up and blocks the vice grip, setting up the spinebuster. For some reason Batista goes up but dives into the double chokeslam for two. Runjin Singh throws in a chair and Khali hits Batista for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Restless would be one way to go, but the better term would likely be “bored out of their minds”. This was a bunch of sitting around doing nothing until Khali did something pretty stupid and now we are likely in for a rematch, because that is what we needed here. I get the idea of the chase, but the idea of Khali being involved in anything fast paced is disturbing.

Post match Batista gets the chair and blasts Khali for a change. JBL is livid at Khali for doing something so stupid, which is a fair assessment.

It’s back to the office, where Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come in to see Vince. They don’t think they’re the mother of the son, but Mae wants some relations with Vince RIGHT NOW to make a new son. Mae jumps him and leaves a taste in Vince’s mouth…which he kind of likes. Coach: “That’s disgusting sir!” Vince: “Old chicken makes good soup.”

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Cena has been champion for almost a year but Orton has been on a path of destruction. Now it’s time for Cena to stop him, because no one else can do it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and gets headlocked to start, with the fans really not being behind Cena. The headlock (and really blatant spot calling) continue until Orton reverses into one of his own. Cena can’t counter into the STFU and Orton stomps him down. Back up and Orton keeps it simple with a hard shot to the head which might cause Cena to miss a crossbody.

That means Orton can knock Cena off the apron and onto the announcers’ table for two back inside. The rather aggressive chinlock goes on but Cena suplexes his way to freedom. A missed charge lets Orton get in some more stomps but he misses the big knee. The powerslam doesn’t miss though and we’re right back to the chinlock. Cena tries to power up again so Orton grabs a sleeper with a bodyscissors.

More power gets Cena out of trouble, this time by driving Orton into the corner. Now the comeback is on, including the Shuffle, but the FU is countered into the backbreaker. There’s the hanging DDT as JR is wondering when the concussion is coming. The RKO is countered but Cena misses another charge and falls over the top. Back in and Cena tries the Throwback but winds up with a Blockbuster, which is quite the odd visual coming from him.

The top rope Fameasser connects and Orton is in trouble again. This time the FU is countered with a neck snap across the top. That’s enough to load up the Punt but Orton takes too long and gets pulled into the STFU. The rope gets Orton out of trouble and he grabs a quick RKO for two (that’s still a rare kickout). Cena is done playing around though and hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This was a big time fight and Cena felt like he went through a long battle. They were trading big moves but the ending was a bit of a letdown, as Cena kicked out of the RKO and then finished him clean. That doesn’t leave much of a future for the feud, but never let it be said that WWE won’t let something continue despite it looking like it was wrapping up. What we got was good though, as these two were starting to feel it when they went home.

Overall Rating: C. The main event helps a lot and there was enough good to make it work, but Batista vs. Khali was horrible and HHH’s return was a disappointment. It was a bunch of short matches too, with only Orton vs. Cena and Mysterio vs. Guerrero breaking ten minutes. At least we got some good stuff in there though, including a solid main event. Good, but certainly not great show.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXXVII Night Two
Date: April 11, 2021
Location: Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 25,675
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Ashland Craft

It’s the second night of Wrestlemania, because Wrestlemania needs to be a two night show. There are some big things this time too, including Roman Reigns defending the Universal Title against Daniel Bryan and Edge, Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens and MORE TAMINA/NATALYA! Let’s get to it.

Ashland Craft sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I was told she’s the new voice of country and WWE wouldn’t lie to me.

Opening video. It’s the same one as yesterday (albeit with some different clips), making it three airings if you watch all three parts on Peacock.

Here are Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan, this time dressed as pirates, to welcome us to the show. They agree that it’s hot but they both look good so it’s time to hype up the card. A bunch of pirate jokes don’t go very well so Titus switches to hyping up the Fiend vs. Randy Orton. They both say arrrrrgh a lot to wrap it up.

We recap Randy Orton vs. the Fiend. Orton burned the Fiend alive at TLC (because that’s what you do in an inferno match, so Alexa Bliss popped in as the female Fiend to go after Orton and bring back the Fiend, because this story needs to keep going. Fiend looks like even more of a slasher villain now and it’s time for the big showdown.

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

The burned Fiend walks through the back and transforms into the regular version. Sure why not. LET ME IN flashes above the Titantron and now it’s Alexa Bliss as the female Fiend to the Firefly Funhouse theme. As she gets to ringside, there is a huge jack-in-the-box, with Bliss cranking the handle so the Fiend can pop out. Fiend dives off the box and clotheslines Orton to start. Orton’s neck gets twisted around but the threat of what looked like a Punt from Fiend sends him bailing outside.

Fiend shrugs off the belly to back onto the announcers’ table and puts on the Mandible Claw as they get back in. The hanging DDT connects but it’s too early for the RKO. Instead a charging Fiend is sent into the “box like structure” (oh that’s a famous one), setting up another hanging DDT.

That doesn’t do much again as Fiend hits a clothesline and hammers away, only to miss the backsplash. The RKO is countered into the Mandible Claw, with Fiend switching to load up Sister Abigail. Then fire shoots up from the posts and Bliss, with black goo on her face, is sitting on the box. Fiend reaches out to her and gets RKOed for the pin at 5:52.

Rating: D. I’m not sure if it’s as bad as the bugs on the mat at Wrestlemania XXXIII but this was another really bad idea, as Fiend’s stuff gets so over the top that it makes no sense and it just more dumb than anything else. If you want to do Wyatt vs. Orton then do Wyatt vs. Orton, but stop making it feel like I’ll get my answers if I read three tie-in comic books that come out two years from now.

Post match Orton leaves and the lights go out. Back up and Fiend/Bliss are gone, which, save for a one off appearance tomorrow on Raw, was it for Wyatt in WWE. After this, thank goodness.

Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan are in the back with Eric Bischoff when Bayley interrupts. She shakes Bischoff’s hand and praises his podcast before offering him a spot on Ding Dong Hello. Bischoff says he would like to have Bianca Belair on his podcast, maybe with Sasha Banks. Bayley isn’t impressed and says they’re nothing compared to him. Bischoff and Hogan suddenly remember that they need to look at a boat and Titus goes with them. Titus to Bayley: “Sorry. Hall of Fame stuff.”

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax vs. Tamina/Natalya

Tamina/Natalya are challenging after winning a gauntlet match yesterday. Baszler and Natalya go technical to start and that means an early standoff. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but Baszler goes straight to the ropes, meaning it’s Jax coming in to shove Natalya down. Jax wants and gets Tamina though, giving us some of the cheering that led to Tamina being more of a thing in 2021.

An exchange of headbutts let them glare at each other so Tamina hammers her up against the ropes. Natalya comes back in with a double backdrop but Baszler comes in off a blind tag. Baszler has to small package her way out of a Sharpshooter attempt so Natalya goes with the release German suplex. Natalya catapults her into a superkick from Tamina (that was nice) but Baszler slips out of a slam. The rights and lefts rock Natalya for a change and a hard knee to the face knocks her silly.

Everything breaks down and Jax slams Tamina on the floor. We settle down to Baszler cranking on Natalya’s knee and you can hear the silence spreading. The stomp on the leg (“gnarly” according to Graves) allows Jax to come back in and lift Natalya up, with Baszler adding a running knee for two. Back up and Jax’s running shoulder hits the post but Tamina is STILL down on the floor. Natalya shouts COME ON YOU GUYS to try and wake the fans up a bit but Jax spinebusters her for two with Tamina making the save.

Tamina comes back in to clean a few rooms until Baszler kicks her legs out. The Kirifuda Clutch is blocked so Tamina goes up, where Baszler kicks her in the head to cut off the Superfly Splash. Everything breaks down and Jax dives off the top to crossbody Natalya and Tamina. The TAMINA chants start up and she plays Lex Luger Jax’s Yokozuna on an awful slam for two.

Tamina misses the Superfly Splash though and they’re both down again as this just keeps going. Natalya, looking close to death, gets the tag and basement drops Jax to (very slowly) set up the Sharpshooter. Granted it doesn’t matter as Baszler made a blind tag and Kirifuda Clutches Natalya to retain the titles at 14:15.

Rating: F. The only word I can think of here is failure, as we are now about fifty minutes into the show and the place was eerily quiet for some parts of this match. To take the second show with fans in over a year and have them go silent less than an hour into the night says that you have accomplished none of your goals. This was long, not good (at one point Tamina messed up A TAG by moving her hand and starting to come in before Natalya had tagged her) and then gave us an anticlimactic ending as the champs retain. Natalya and Tamina would get the belts in about a month anyway, making this all the dumber.

We recap Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens. Zayn has gone off the deep end, suggesting that there is a conspiracy against them because THEY are all out to get him. Owens can’t get behind it but offers to Stun some sense into him. Zayn has Logan Paul here as his guest as Owens continues to think Zayn is nuts. They did a nice job of having Zayn sound completely off his rocker for this and my goodness it’s cool to see Owens vs. Zayn at Wrestlemania.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

JBL is guest commentator and Zayn brings out Logan Paul as his special guest. Zayn charges right at him to start and it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb three seconds in, with Zayn rolling outside. The apron powerbomb is broken up and they head back inside with Owens dropping him ribs first onto the top rope. A running corner clothesline rocks Zayn, who is bumping all over the place for Owens.

The Cannonball connects, allowing JBL to get in the Otto Wanz reference that he makes every time someone uses a Cannonball. They head to the apron and Zayn manages a brainbuster, which is quite the scary spot and comes pretty early in the match. The Michinoku Driver (Cole: “Blue Thunder Bomb!” Graves: “It’s a Michinoku Driver Cole. I’m gonna save you from the internet.”) gives Zayn two and he puts Owens on top. Owens fights out with right hands and the headbutt, setting up the frog splash for two.

A pumphandle driver onto the knee gives Owens two more but Zayn is back up with the exploder suplex into the corner. Another brainbuster gives Zayn another two and he hammers Owens down. They head up top and Owens reverses into the swinging superplex for the double knockdown. Some running clothesline in the corner rock Zayn but he’s right back with the Helluva Kick. Another Helluva Kick is cut off by a superkick, followed by a second one to make Paul cringe. The Stunner gives Owens the clean pin at 9:24.

Rating: B-. It felt like they were just getting in every signature move they could here and that was ok, as this was all about this match making it to the biggest stage in the world. That is something that would have felt like a dream back in the day but here they are. It’s a cool story and they made it work, with the first good match of the night as well.

Post match Paul checks on Zayn, who yells at him due to reasons of insanity. Paul shoves him so Zayn walks away, leaving Paul to raise Owens’ hand. A Stunner abounds.

Riddle is on his scooter in the back and runs into Great Khali. That means a pitch for giant scooters but Khali just stares at him. Rob Van Dam comes in and Riddle is impressed, with Van Dam translating Khali’s words as business advice. Van Dam has his own rolling papers and gives them out before hitting his catchphrase. HOW DO YOU SCREW UP VAN DAM MEETS RIDDLE???

Get vaccinated.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Riddle

Riddle is defending and they’re fighting because Sheamus beat him up with his scooter. They go straight to the brawling with Riddle striking away in the corner. Sheamus powers his way out of a choke and drives Riddle into the corner for some elbows to the face. The swinging release Rock Bottom (which isn’t usually a Sheamus move) gets two but the Irish Curse seems to wake Riddle up.

The armbreaker over the top rope has Sheamus in trouble but he reverses into the forearms to the chest. Back in and Sheamus goes up top, only to get belly to belly superplexed back down for a big crash. Riddle is back up with a Broton into a Jackhammer (Goldberg is not pleased) for two. With that not working, Riddle loads up a slingshot something, which is cut off with a hard knee.

They head to the apron with Riddle grabbing a German suplex. The springboard Floating Bro takes Sheamus down again and Riddle is rolling. Back in and Sheamus has to power out of a triangle choke into a powerbomb for two of his own, with Riddle switching the cover into a rear naked choke. It’s Sheamus going up so Riddle follows him, only to get pulled into White Noise. Middle rope knees give Sheamus two more so Riddle tries a springboard moonsault..which is Brogue Kicked out of the air (nice timing) for the pin and the title at 10:52.

Rating: C+. Time has helped this one a bit as Riddle was about to move on to RKBro, but this was a deflating loss as Riddle hadn’t been champion very long and then lost to Sheamus. The show continues to limit how much good it can do, though at least this one came after a pretty physical match. It isn’t like Sheamus as US Champion is a bad thing, but taking it from Riddle at Wrestlemania? That feels like a Fastlane kind of title match.

We look at Bad Bunny’s debut last night.

We recap Big E. vs. Apollo Crews in a Nigerian Drum Fight for Big E.’s Intercontinental Title. Big E. won the title on Christmas night but Crews turned heel and beat him up, because Big E. as a beaten down champion is the way to go. Then Crews embraced his Nigerian heritage and became little more than a caricature, only to have Big E. beat him at Fastlane. Therefore, we needed a rematch with a bunch of drums because culture.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Hometown boy Big E. is defending in a Nigerian Drum Fight, meaning anything goes and there are a bunch of drums around ringside. As a bonus, Wale raps Big E. to the ring to really make it feel special. Big E. starts fast with a kendo stick but gets a gong knocked out of his hands. Crews is back with some stick shots of his own so Big E. spears him through the ropes to take over.

The steps are set up at ringside, only to have Crews hit a Death Valley Driver onto the apron. That lets Crews lay Big E. onto the steps to try and slam the steps onto him but the steps only hits steps. Big E. is back up with a Rock Bottom off the apron onto the steps but instead of covering, let’s set up a table in the ring. The delay lets Crews hit a kick to the head and beat on him with a kendo stick, only to miss a frog splash through the table. Big E. hits the Big Ending, so here is a monster in a military uniform to come in and beat Big E. down. Crews is laid on top to win the title at 6:50.

Rating: D+. The drums were barely used as this was every other weapons brawl with kendo sticks, a table and the steps. Then the monster comes in to save Crews and win him the title, because Big E., in his hometown and with someone rapping him to the ring, had to lose the title to Apollo Crews here. They couldn’t do this at Smackdown or at Backlash or anything like that, but this show right here under these circumstances. After Riddle lost the US Title in the previous match. Say it with me: because WWE.

We look back at last night’s show, because Wrestlemania needs filler (possible because two of the five matches so far haven’t broken seven minutes). This eats up the better part of five minutes.

Hey! The media LOVED night one!

Get vaccinated!

Hall of Fame video, as this seems to be an intermission without being an intermission. This is the 2021 Class though, as 2020/2021 were inducted in the same year.

Here is the class in the stadium:

Rob Van Dam (nice reaction)
Molly Holly (long overdue)
Great Khali (sure why not)
Ozzy Osbourne (not here)
Eric Bischoff (that’s bizarre)
Rich Hering (longtime WWE employee, Warrior Award)
Kane (the big finale and again, well deserved)

Batista was scheduled to be in but didn’t appear here, as he will be inducted at some point in the future.

We recap Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley for Asuka’s Raw Women’s Title. Bianca Belair went after the Smackdown Women’s Title so Asuka needed a challenger. Game on.

Raw Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is challenging and gets played to the ring, because this show needs something else to drag it out. After the Big Match Intros, Asuka hits a dropkick to the back and a rollup gets a fast two. Another dropkick into the corner angers Ripley even more, only to have her charge get sent face first into the buckle. They head outside with Asuka’s pop up knee going somewhere in the vicinity of Ripley’s face.

Back in and Asuka hits a hard kick to the back, which is enough to make Ripley take her down and hammer away. The bodyscissors goes on with Ripley hitting her in the back and even messing with the rainbow hair. A series of clotheslines keeps Asuka in trouble but she pulls Ripley down into a kneebar. With that broken up, Ripley sends her into the corner but stops to jaw with some fans. Asuka shoves her off the top though and there’s the missile dropkick to put them both down.

Another trip up top is broken up for Asuka and Ripley drops her face first onto the apron. Asuka is fine enough to catch her with a DDT off the apron and out to the floor, which is good for two because modern wrestling is stupid. Some Kawada kicks wake Ripley up and she grabs the Prism Trap. That’s reversed into an armbar, which is countered with a hard swing into the corner to rock Asuka again. Another armbar goes on but Ripley fights out again. A running kick to the head is quickly countered though and Riptide connects for the pin and the title at 13:37.

Rating: C+. They were having a good, hard hitting match but then that DDT off the apron took me out of it. That was one of the most ridiculous non-finishes I’ve seen in a long time, as there was no reason to have someone be back in the ring within the next month, let alone win the match. Ripley getting the title was a good call in the end, but come up with less infused with dumb way to get there.

Get vaccinated!

We look back at Randy Orton vs. the Fiend, because that needs to be revisited.

Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan thank the fans for watching. Bayley comes out to complain about not getting respect and her lack of pyro. Cue the Bella Twins to get in her face, but Bayley reminds them that John Cena isn’t here tonight. The Bellas beat her up and get booed out of the stadium.

Here’s what’s coming on Peacock.

The next pay per view is Wrestlemania Backlash, because two nights just isn’t enough.

We recap Edge and Daniel Bryan challenging Roman Reigns for the Smackdown World Title. Edge had to retire because of his neck injuries but came back and won the Royal Rumble to earn his title shot. Then Bryan said he wanted to be in the match and made Reigns tap at Fastlane, but the referee didn’t see it. Edge interfered and cost Bryan the match, so let’s make it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman and Jey Uso, is defending and Edge gets a heck of a reaction with probably the loudest pop of the weekend. Bryan gets knocked into the corner to start so Reigns starts unloading on Edge. That’s broken up by Bryan who fires off the European uppercuts, only to be sent outside. Jey adds a superkick and sends Bryan into the steps, leaving us with Edge vs. Reigns for the time being.

It’s time to go outside with the announcers’ table being loaded up but Bryan breaks that up with a suicide dive. Edge takes out Jey and then sends Reigns into the apron and barricade over and over. A posting drops Reigns so Edge heads back to Uso. The Edgecution onto the steps knocks Uso silly so here are the medics to take Uso out. That leaves Edge to roll Bryan up for a pair of near falls back inside but Reigns is back up to fight over a suplex on the apron.

Bryan pulls Reigns to the floor and there’s the missile dropkick to Edge back inside. Reigns is back in to take both of them down, which is enough for him to want some acknowledgment. Edge gets in an Edge-O-Matic on Reigns but he’s right back up with the Superman Punch. The spear is countered into a sunset flip for two as Heyman is getting worried. They both try spears and collide in the middle for a double knockdown. Bryan is back in with a Swan Dive to Reigns for two, followed by the YES Kicks to both.

The big one gets two on Reigns so Bryan grabs the YES Lock, drawing Edge over for the save. That earns Edge a YES Lock of his own but this time it’s Reigns making a save of his own and unloading on Bryan with right hands. They go back outside with Reigns (slowly) powerbombing Bryan through the announcers’ table but taking too long to pose, allowing Edge to spear him off the steps.

Edge sends him back inside and grabs some chairs but switches to the Crossface instead. The piece of the chair makes the Crossface worse but here is Bryan to come in and block the tap. Bryan adds a YES Lock while the Crossface is still on so Edge and Bryan exchange headbutts to break the double hold. That goes to Bryan as well, so he stomps on Edge’s neck, while shouting about how bad it is.

The running knee is loaded up but Edge spears Bryan down and then does the same to Reigns, with Bryan having to pull the referee out at two. With the normal stuff not working, Edge grabs some chairs and unloads on both of them. The Conchairto crushes Bryan but Uso is back in for the save. Reigns is back up and it’s a Conchairto to Edge, setting up the double pin to retain the titles at 22:42.

Rating: A-. This was so far and away the match of both nights that it isn’t even a fair comparison. It felt like a major showdown with Edge and Bryan getting close to being able to make Reigns work hard. The ending might have been a bit cliched with Uso interfering to keep the title, but dang it was fun with some clever spots and a lot of effort throughout. Awesome main event and the big saving grace of a pretty awful night.

The Bloodline poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show where the wrestling wasn’t the point. The main event was great, but there was so much downtime and so much stuff that felt like it was there to anger the fans rather than make them happy. You have two popular champions lose their titles, whatever that box thing was, and a nearly fifteen minute Natalya/Tamina match. I’m not sure how this was supposed to be a happy show, but it was almost painful to watch at times.

Overall Overall Rating: C+. The first night was a lot better than the first, but this whole thing felt like it would have been better off as a long one off show. It came off like WWE was trying to fill in time far more often than they needed to here and it made the show feel long. Other than the main event and maybe one or two other matches, you could cut off the second night almost entirely. Overall it’s good, if nothing else because they had fans back, but this really needed to be trimmed down.

Ratings Comparison

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

Original: D
Redo: D

Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax vs. Tamina/Natalya

Original: D
Redo: F

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Riddle vs. Sheamus

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Apollo Crews vs. Big E.

Original: C+
Redo: D+

Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Edge vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

Original: A-
Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: C-

Overall Overall Rating

Original:
Redo: C+

That Women’s Tag Team Title match was a big downgrade and what was I thinking on Crews vs. Big E?

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXVII Night One
Date: April 10, 2021
Location: Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 25,675
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Bebe Rexha

This is somewhere in between a Performance Center Wrestlemania and the regular version, as the show is taking place in front of a limited capacity audience. That alone is worth a look and now it is time for a Wrestlemania style show. The main event for the first night is Bianca Belair challenging Sasha Banks for the Smackdown Women’s Title. Let’s get to it.

No Kickoff Show matches (on either night) this year, which is a little weird to see.

The huge pirate ship set looks awesome, as WWE knows how to use what is available to them.

Here is Vince McMahon, with the roster behind him on the stage, to talk about how bad things have been over the last year. As we emerge from this pandemic, WWE would like to thank the fans for sticking with them and WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA! Very nice and you know it’s a big moment when the boss is out there for something like this.

Bebe Rexha, with a guitar player, singe America the Beautiful.

The opening video talks about how the WWE Universe has waited a long time to get back here, and now they are back for the spectacle and the passion. Wrestlemania is back in business (there’s a tagline for you). Tonight we will see an event that is bigger than the history of history.

That line is so bad that the voiceover from last year (with a bad Jack Sparrow impression) takes over to say this is a continuation from last year with wrestlers fighting for immortality. Now let’s drop some realness (as the kids say, because apparently kids say that), because tonight we continue a decades old spectacle.

That sets up the Wrestlemania highlight package, but first we need to thank the fans, including those in a commemorative chair or watching tonight on Peacock. The course has been corrected and this can’t be stopped. Sparrow voiceover: “Now how’s that for a cold open?” The original voiceover wants a big finish though so how about this: WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA!

Commentary welcomes us to the show….which is being delayed due to a weather delay, because of course it is. The fans bust out the ponchos and start heading for the concourses as this is quite the change of plans. With nothing else going on, commentary talks about Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley getting to start the show but since we have some time to fill, we’re going to get some special interviewers backstage.

Shane McMahon talks about how he hasn’t been bullying Braun Strowman and is ready to take him out tonight. MVP and Bobby Lashley interrupt to say that tonight will be the crowning moment of the Almighty Era. Drew McIntyre only understands violence and tonight, Lashley is going to give him that. McIntyre pops in and says Mother Nature can’t save Lashley so let’s do it back here.

MVP and Lashley are taken out and McIntyre talks about how he is trying to keep his emotions together and won’t lose it last year. Last year they were at the Performance Center and he won the WWE Title, lost it for three weeks and got it back, but now the weather is trying to hold him back again. Lashley is losing the title tonight. You can tell that McIntyre isn’t comfortable improving.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about how important the show is.

New Day is fired up about having the crowd back and you can’t feel that feeling until you feel it. They accepted AJ Styles and Omos’ challenge because they are fighting champions and don’t care how big or phenomenal their challengers are. No one can hang with them and here is Big E. to glare at interviewer Kevin Patrick, plus hype up how great the rest of the team is. It nearly turns into a sermon, as Patrick seems a bit scared.

Cole dubs the show Wrestlerainia but seems to be alone in that one.

Braun Strowman says he’s ready to get out there and destroy Shane McMahon for the sake of everyone who has ever been bullied. This isn’t going to be pretty or technical, because Shane is going to be beaten into an inch of his life. Tonight, he’s proving that bullies do not win.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about Vince McMahon’s speech.

Kevin Owens, rocking that KO Mania V shirt, takes the microphone from Kevin Patrick to talk about his history with Sami Zayn. They have known each other for almost twenty years and they started wrestling each other all over. One time they wrestled each other in front of 23 people in Owens’ hometown. They went to New York City, to Peru and around the world, but in those twenty years, no two people were talked down to by “industry experts” like they were.

Now they are here and tomorrow night they get to do it again at Wrestlemania. It has never been this big or this important but this isn’t the Sami that he has known. That’s ok though, because in the end, this is Wrestlemania and it’s Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens. Tomorrow night, Owens is Stunning some sense back into Zayn and if Logan Paul wants to try something, he’ll be in the ring. To the point, eloquent, and it told the story of their match. This stuff can be done with zero scripting and if the people can handle that, I have no idea why they aren’t given the chance.

Michael Cole and Samoa Joe, in ponchos, hype up the show being on in less than five minutes. In a good note for the two of them, Byron Saxton’s microphone has died.

Bianca Belair isn’t nervous but she knows she is getting in the ring with Sasha Banks. Belair doesn’t run from competition so tonight, she is proving that she is the best. Not too bad here.

Seth Rollins can’t remember Kevin Patrick’s name (Rollins: “It’s Mike right?”) but he loves the chaos of Wrestlemania. He isn’t happy with hearing about Zazaro Swinging him a record number of times but it was probably to help Zazaro springboard to a new level. Tonight the clouds will clear and the sun will shine down on the new Mr. Wrestlemania.

Miz and John Morrison aren’t worried about Bad Bunny and Damian Priest because they’re stars. BE JEALOUS!

The Kickoff Show panel gives us one more quick hype.

Now this is kind of interesting, because the Peacock version of the show has the weather delay with the promos as its own video (which is billed as the start of the show). Vince’s speech and America the Beautiful are on the regular video of the show and there is no mention of the delay, though the video with the delay references Vince’s speech. Because WWE.

Speaking of Because WWE, the opening video is on both the weather delay video and the regular Wrestlemania video.

Since we can’t just GET ON WITH IT ALREADY (and because the fans need to get back in their seats), here are hosts Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan, with the latter not getting the most positive reaction. Titus is fired up to be in his hometown and the WWE Universe is bringing the energy that they need. After one year, one month and one day, we are back live! Hogan doesn’t think the fans heard him so Titus says it again to a stronger reaction. They hype up the opening match with the Hurt Lock vs. the Claymore and wonder what happens when the Hulkamaniacs run wild for TWO NIGHTS!

We recap Bobby Lashley defending the WWE Title against Drew McIntyre. Miz cashed in Money in the Bank against McIntyre and won the title, only to lose it to Lashley eight days later (which was about as obvious of a result as you could have, as there was no way Miz was going to Wrestlemania as champion). McIntyre is getting his rematch, with Lashley trying to have the roster take McIntyre out before the show. That didn’t work, and now it is time for the showdown.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley, with MVP, is defending. They fight over the power lockup to start until Lashley runs him over with a shoulder. The overhead belly to belly works a bit better for McIntyre, who throws in a bit of a crude gesture. Some shoving goes to McIntyre but Lashley hits him in the face to cut that off. A running clothesline takes Lashley to the floor, where he is fine enough to drive McIntyre into the barricade a few times.

Back in and a neckbreaker gives Lashley one (because McIntyre doesn’t wait for two) before he sends McIntyre into the corner. The charge takes too long though and the arm goes into the post. A Codebreaker to the arm sets up a failed cross armbreaker attempt so McIntyre goes with some clotheslines instead. There’s the overhead belly to belly and then another one has Lashley in more trouble (as we see commentary standing at ringside for some reason, likely weather related).

The Futureshock is blocked though and Lashley hits the spinning Dominator for two of his own. McIntyre gets planted with the big spinebuster for two more but he’s right back with the reverse Alabama Slam. They go up top with the superplex being broken up so McIntyre puts on a Kimura up there instead. Lashley knocks him out so McIntyre does the situp toss back down (that always looks cool).

Back up and Lashley hits another spinebuster but, after a few seconds (good), McIntyre nips up for the staredown. Another belly to belly sends Lashley down again and now the Futureshock can connect. McIntyre isn’t done though as he rolls two more Futureshocks for two so it’s time to load up the Claymore. Lashley bails outside to avoid the whole kick in the face thing, only to have McIntyre hit a big running flip dive to the floor to take out Lashley and MVP at the same time.

Back in and the Hurt Lock is blocked so Lashley sends him flying again with a suplex. The Downward Spiral looks to set up the Hurt Lock again but McIntyre rams him into the corner for the break. A third spinebuster is countered into the Kimura, which is broken up as well for another double knockdown. McIntyre wins a slugout but MVP offers a distraction, allowing Lashley to duck the Claymore. The Hurt Lock goes on and McIntyre is in trouble, with even the flip out of the corner not breaking it up. McIntyre finally passes out to retain Lashley’s title at 18:21.

Rating: B. This was the heavyweight slugfest style match as you had two big men beating on each other until one of them couldn’t keep going. It was hard hitting, it was a heck of a fight, and it was about who could stay on their feet. That’s how you open the show and it felt Wrestlemania worthy, even if the ending wasn’t the best thing. Heck of an effort here though and this one stuck with me even over the last year.

Titus O’Neil is backstage with the NWO (Hogan/Hall/Nash/Syxx) and offers them a spot on Ding Dong Hello. She’ll settle for a Too Sweet, but only Hall and Syxx take her up on it before leaving. I forgot how good Bayley was as a heel.

Tag Team Turmoil

Five teams and the winners get a Women’s Tag Team Title shot tomorrow night. Lana/Naomi are in at #1 (they both like to dance) and Billie Kay/Carmella (after Kay FINALLY found a partner to pay off her amazing resume deal) are in at #2, with Kay not being exactly great at trying to match Carmella’s more suggestive entrances (but there was nothing for her to do in WWE because reasons). Carmella takes Lana into the corner to start and beats her down, only to have Lana slip away from Kay.

The hot tag brings in Naomi for the pull someone’s face into the back of her tights (because WE’RE HAVING FUN) before handing it back to Lana. This proves to be a bad idea as Lana can’t time kicking Kay down so Kay rolls Naomi up (with an assist from Carmella) for the elimination at 2:19.

The Riott Squad (Liv Morgan/Ruby Riott) are in at #3 with Morgan kicking Kay in the face (take notes Lana). Kay manages to put her down in the corner so though so Carmella can do her moonwalk into the dropkick. That doesn’t last long as Morgan fights up and hits a Codebreaker, only to hold Kay on top. Riott adds a top rope backsplash for the pin at 4:58 (total) but Carmella superkicks Morgan down after the fall.

Dana Brooke/Mandy Rose are in at #4, with Mandy infamously slipping on the ramp (edited out here, because WWE doesn’t make mistakes). An early Blockbuster drops Dana but she’s right back with a running flip neckbreaker for two. Riott grabs a sunset flip for the same and it’s Morgan coming in to pick up the pace. A Codebreaker into the Riott Kick gets two with Brooke having to make the save.

Rose gets in a kick to the ribs in the corner though Rose slips on the middle rope. Brooke slaps Rose in a rather personal area for a tag (sure why not) before a superplex drops Morgan. Not that it matters though as Morgan reverses into a small package for the pin at 9:17. After the ring announcer says the Riott Squad was eliminated and then issues a correction, Natalya and Tamina complete the field at #5.

Morgan rolls Natalya up for two but it’s off to Tamina for a sitout powerbomb. Tamina gets taken into the corner though and it’s the Codebreaker into the backsplash for two, because Tamina doesn’t get pinned you see. The superkick sends Morgan outside and there’s the Hart Attack to Riott. The Sharpshooter is loaded up but Natalya hands it off to Tamina for the Superfly Splash and the final pin at 14:06.

Rating: D. Egads man. The Women’s Tag Team Titles have been good for about three months out of the nearly three years they have been around and that is the case again here. Natalya and Tamina are about as interesting as the dogcatcher and the The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, but they need to go over the Riott Squad, Kay and Brooke/Rose, because of course they do. This match was frustrating and bad on top of that, as you have a bunch of thrown together teams (and the Riott Squad) fighting for a shot against another thrown together/oddball team. Just drop the titles already.

Get vaccinated!

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro. Rollins got swung around a bunch of times so he pointed out that Cesaro had never had a Wrestlemania Moment (whatever definition we’re using for it this year) in the form of some campaign ads of who you should approve of more. The match was set up as a result, with Cesaro wanting his big shot.

Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro

Cesaro hits a running uppercut to start and knocks Rollins to the apron for a bonus. There’s a knee lift but Rollins snaps the arm across the top rope to take over. Back in and Cesaro’s superplex is countered into a Buckle Bomb for two as Rollins turns up the sneering. The top rope superplex into the Falcon Arrow gives Rollins two but Cesaro is back up with another uppercut.

The Swing (you knew that was coming) sets up the Sharpshooter but Rollins makes the rope. Rollins drops him again and hits a corkscrew frog splash (that’s a new one) for two of his own. Cesaro is right back up with a Neutralizer for two, setting up the shocked kickout face. Another attempt is countered into a quick Pedigree to give Rollins his own near fall and they’re both down (as long as he doesn’t start countering Pedigrees, we should be ok).

Rollins shouts about how he survived the Neutralizer and the Swing, setting up a missed running kick to the face. That’s fine with Rollins, who swings his leg back and kicks Cesaro in the back of the head instead (cool). The Stomp is countered into the uppercut so now it’s the torture rack swing (with no hands, because THAT’S SOMETHING ELSE HE CAN DO). The 23 rotation Swing sets up another Neutralizer for the pin on Rollins at 11:27.

Rating: B-. They got the result right as there was no way Cesaro was coming back from losing after everything Rollins said about him. The problem is that if this was going to mean anything, it needed to come about six years earlier. I’m happy to see Cesaro get his win, but it’s really hard to buy that it is going to mean anything beyond maybe the next few weeks. Good match though, which shouldn’t be a surprise given who was in there.

We look at Jey Uso winning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, plus Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler retaining the Smackdown Tag Team Titles, last night on Smackdown.

Ziggler and Roode pick AJ Styles and Omos to take the Raw Tag Team Titles from New Day.

Raw Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. AJ Styles/Omos

New Day (Xavier Woods/Kofi Kingston) is defending and this is Omos’ in-ring debut. Kofi and Omos start but Woods chants at Styles and gets him to start instead. Styles can’t get the Calf Crusher early on so they trade rollups instead. A belly to back suplex sends AJ face first onto the mat and it’s time for some Francesca from Woods. That’s enough for Woods to come in and grab a headlock, allowing him to shout about how they are cutting the ring in half. Styles fights up and tries to get over for the tag but Woods realizes that could cause a variety of damage.

Woods drags him back to the corner before sending Styles to the floor, setting up a dropkick through the ropes. Kofi keeps Styles down and a springboard splash to the back gets two. UpUpDownDown is loaded up but Styles kicks his way out and crawls over to Omos for the tag, despite Woods’ protests.

The tag brings in Omos (Kofi: “YOU GOT THIS WOODS!”) and Woods’ kicks have no effect. Kofi’s top rope chop is pulled out of the air and a backbreaker has Woods’ back bent over Omos’ knee. A side slam drops Woods again and Styles comes back in with a Phenomenal Forearm off of Omos’ shoulders to knock Woods silly as this isn’t going well for the champs. A standing Sky High sets up the pin with one foot to finish Kofi for the titles at 9:45.

Rating: C. The match might not have been the best, but the story it told worked well. What mattered here was having Omos look like an unstoppable monster and they nailed every bit of that side. What they didn’t nail was the part where Styles, who could probably beat either member of New Day with a limited amount of trouble, was treated like Jesse to Omos’ Festus. The Omos stuff worked, but the Styles half really didn’t work.

Styles sits on Omos’ shoulders for the cool visual after the match.

GET VACCINATED!

The cage is lowered.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman. Shane decided that Strowman was stupid and bullied him for the beat you over the head story of the show. Then Shane slimed him (as poured green goo over him) but their match at Fastlane was postponed to here due to Shane’s knee injury. This story was dumb and designed to put the focus on Shane, because of course it was.

Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman

Inside a cage with pinfall, submission or escape and Jerry Lawler joins commentary. As Lawler makes every joke about Strowman being stupid that he can think of, Jaxson Ryker and Elias (Shane’s goons) jump Strowman with chairs on the floor. A chair is thrown in with Strowman so the beatdown can be on. Strowman takes the chair away but Shane kicks him in the leg and takes over again because he’s Shane McMahon.

Shane’s escape attempt doesn’t work so he punches and kicks Strowman down in the corner. Another escape attempt is broken up but this time Shane pulls a piece of sheet metal off the top and beats Strowman down with that instead. Strowman fights up again and hits him in the face, with Shane being nice enough to sell for a few seconds. The running powerslam is loaded up but the knee gives out, allowing Shane to send him face first into the cage.

A DDT drops Strowman and Coast To Coast hits Strowman in the ribs. Shane goes for the climb so here are Ryker and Elias to help him over but Strowman knocks them off the cage. That makes Shane fall back inside too but of course he’s fine enough to get up again. This time Strowman follows, only to find a well placed toolbox (at least there would be a reason to have that up there) and knock Strowman off.

That’s enough for Shane to get over the top, where Strowman grabs him by the hand and then rip the cage open (that’s a new one) to pull him back inside. Strowman pulls him to the top of the cage and throws him down for the huge crash. Instead of climbing out though, Strowman climbs down, gives a speech about how this is for everyone who has ever been called stupid. The running powerslam finishes Shane at 11:26.

Rating: D. I for one enjoyed seeing the Shane McMahon Show here, as this was giving me Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax at Wrestlemania XXXIV vibes. This should have been Shane getting in a few shots off the interference and then being crushed like an old can. Instead, it was Shane beating on Strowman and getting in all of his stuff before Strowman beat him up to win. As usual, it was about Shane first and then everyone else, because that’s the Wrestlemania tradition we need to continue.

Here are some fireworks as the cage is raised.

Commentary talks about the Hall of Fame induction but Bayley interrupts, saying she can do Cole’s job better. She throws us to the induction ceremony video, with various people talking about how great this is.

Here is this year’s class:

JBL (long overdue)

William Shatner (not here but at least he did some stuff in wrestling before)

Bella Twins (who can’t quite do their dance in those dresses)

Jushin Thunder Liger (not here but he should be in every Hall of Fame)

Titus O’Neil (Warrior Award, as the man is a saint)

British Bulldog (again, how was he not already in)

NWO (yeah they’ll do as headliners)

Wrestlemania XXXVIII is in Texas.

Bad Bunny/Damian Priest vs. Miz/John Morrison

Booker T. is on commentary. Bunny is one of the hottest rappers in the world and a lifelong WWE fan. He performed his song about Booker T. so Miz and John Morrison wanted some collaboration. That wasn’t happening, so they broke his DJ’s equipment. Bunny eliminated them from the Royal Rumble and then picked up Damian Priest as a partner, setting up the big showdown. Miz and Morrison also destroyed Bunny’s really expensive car to make it…well material rather than personal in this case.

As for tonight, an army of bunnies hop to the ring, albeit with ears (and a head) falling off, leaving the rest of them to hold their big bunny heads on, because that’s how WWE does things. Miz and Morrison show up to do their Hey Hey Hop Hop rap live, which was a catchy song. On the other hand, Bunny rides into the stadium on the top of a semi truck for a pretty cool entrance.

Priest backs Miz into the corner to start but Miz wants Bunny instead. That’s exactly what he gets, with Bunny looking more comfortable than I would have expected. Miz sticks his chin out so Bunny hits him in the face (Morrison: “Rabbits are lucky! That was luck!”) before another right hand knocks him into the corner. The frustration is on so Bunny tackles him down and hammers away. Miz gets a bit more serious but this time Bunny grabs an armdrag.

Morrison isn’t happy and tells Miz to act like they’re the best tag team of the 21^st century. A rather spinning headscissors takes Miz down again so Morrison comes in for a change. That means a headbutt to send him into the corner and a running elbow….is elbowed out of the air to put Bunny in trouble for the first time. The pace slows down a bit as Miz gets to mock Bunny and then rip at his face. Bunny fights out of a chinlock but Miz hits the big boot to cut him off again.

Another shot knocks Bunny to the floor and Morrison busts out a Spinarooni, meaning Booker gets in his catchphrase. Priest makes the mistake of looking at the crowd and gets knocked down by Miz, allowing Bunny to get dragged back into the corner. Bunny gets a boot up in the corner though and a tornado DDT out of the corner gives him a breather. That’s enough for the tag to Priest to start cleaning house, including the toss suplex to send Miz into Morrison.

The South of Heaven chokeslam gets two on Miz as everything breaks down. Stereo head claps set up stereo Broken Arrows for two on Miz and Morrison with the villains rolling outside. Of course that means the big dive from Bunny but Priest gets knocked down back inside. Morrison pulls Bunny to the floor, where Bunny hits a Canadian Destroyer to leave Miz stunned. Back in and a Doomsday crossbody finishes Miz at 15:03.

Rating: B. It was longer than it needed to be and Bunny selling the first ten minutes was certainly a choice, but this was WAY up there on the celebrity match list. Bunny clearly put in some effort and time as he looked good with the stuff he was doing out there. It was more him doing moves than wrestling a match but for a one off, this was a very successful debut. Bunny is the celebrity and is going to get the attention because he is the reason the match is taking place, but he more than delivered here and it was a very impressive showing.

We look back at Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley from earlier in the night.

Here’s what’s coming tomorrow night.

We recap Sasha Banks vs. Bianca Belair for the Smackdown Women’s Title. Belair won the Royal Rumble and gets to challenge for the title, with both of them talking about how they’re the rest best around here. This was a simple story but it was set up well, with Belair being treated as the next big thing but needing to conquer the current big thing.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Sasha Banks

Belair is challenging and we get the Big Match Intros. They fight over the lockup to start until Banks pulls her down, only to have Belair nip up. Belair takes Banks down instead but has to bail out of a standing moonsault. Banks sends her to the apron for a neck snap across the top and a ram into the post, setting up Banks’ big dive to the floor. That’s fine with Belair, who catches said dive and gorilla presses Banks for a walk up the steps (that’s not normal, at all).

Back in and Banks gets in a few shots of her own, setting up some rights and lefts on the mat. The double arm crank keeps Belair down so let’s hit the wide shot to show off the SNICKERS logos. Banks goes up top so Belair brings her right back down with the big crash. They head outside where Banks uses the hair to pull Belair into the post, only to miss the running knees against the barricade.

Back in and Belair grabs a VERY delayed suplex, complete with a slingshot and muscling Banks back up before taking Banks back for the double knockdown. Banks is up first and grabs the hair, which is used to pull her into a clothesline from Belair. A standing shooting star hits Banks and a release Glam Slam drops her again. Belair’s 450 only hits knees though and they’re both down again. Back up and Belair is fine enough to hit a pair of powerbombs for two, meaning they’re down again.

This time it’s Banks up first with a double springboard tornado DDT (that was cool), with the kickout leaving her stunned. The frog splash (with Cole thinking it was a Meteora) gets two on Belair and now frustration is setting in. They head outside with Banks sending her into the steps before taking it back inside for the Bank Statement. Belair looks more scared than hurt and it’s made even worse as Banks rolls into the middle. You don’t do that to Belair, who rolls forward to make the ropes for the break.

Belair drives her into the corner with straight power but can’t hit a Stratusphere. Instead Banks gets her into the Tree of Woe but misses the Alberto double stomp. Now Belair can hit her 450 for two, meaning it’s her time to scream in shock. The KOD is loaded up but Banks sticks the landing, so Belair is done playing. The big whip with the hair rocks Banks and now the KOD gives Belair the pin and the title 17:27. Ignore Cole shouting about a kickout.

Rating: B. There was a lot more laying around in this one than I thought but they did a good job with Banks’ natural skills vs. Belair’s power/athleticism. This was making me think of Asuka taking the NXT Women’s Title from Bayley back in 2016, as Bayley was great but Asuka was that much better and overwhelmed her. Very good match and the first time a women’s singles match has headlined the show to give it the historical aspect.

The big celebration is on to end the show, complete with Belair’s family in the front row for a nice touch.

Overall Rating: B-. Overall the show is good, but there are some rather part parts that hold it back. You can only get so far with stuff like the Tag Team Turmoil match and the cage match, which both dragged on and didn’t seem to be the hottest stories in the first place. Other than that, it is the same problem as last year: having the show split in half takes away the feeling of this being the biggest show of the year. I get why they’re doing it, but egads it doesn’t feel as special. The good matches here are more than enough to carry it, but this is far from a classic.

Ratings Comparison

Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B-

Redo: B

Tag Team Turmoil

Original: D

Redo: D

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

Original: C+

Redo: B-

AJ Styles/Omos vs. New Day

Original: C+

Redo: C

Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

Redo: D

Miz/John Morrison vs. Bad Bunny/Damian Priest

Original: C

Redo: B

Bianca Belair vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Almost everything is about the same save for Bad Bunny/Priest, which is better than I remembered.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the second of three redos this year and it is a show that I have seen quite a few times over the years. WWE knows how to bust out the big anniversary shows and that is what we will be seeing here. The fact that the show is in Madison Square Garden makes it even better. The main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a match that I think might work. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful with a VERY patriotic montage.

The opening video features Vince McMahon walking out of the shadows and talking about how he had a vision twenty years ago which shaped everything today. This gives us the always awesome montage of Wrestlemania clips, which really is their strong suit. They know how to make things feel special and that is what they did here. Speaking of special, the video ends with Shane McMahon now next to Vince and presenting his son, Vince’s first grandchild, as the narrator talks about where it all begins again. That has always stuck with me since I saw this show for the first time and it is great.

In a change from the usual MSG setup, the entrance is on the left instead of opposite the hard camera, though there is a large screen showing the current match.

We get the traditional welcome from the multiple commentary teams.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging and is on fire here, while Big Show has defended the title less than three times since winning it back in October. Cena’s rap mocks Show’s anatomy in various ways and promises that he’ll win the title tonight. Show shoves him away to start but Cena is back with the right hands. Cena’s shots are shrugged off though and he gets sent outside, setting up a powerslam for two back inside.

The fans think Show sucks as he slowly hammers Cena down, including a slam. We get the required standing on Cena’s chest/throat and a suplex drops Cena again. More standing, this time on Cena’s back, seems to wake him up a bit but Show kicks him in the face. Show’s standing legdrop gets two and the frustration starts setting in fast. Powered by the fans (his kind always is), Cena slips out of a slam and grabs a choke, which earns him a hard clotheslines.

Show is back with the cobra clutch but Cena powers out again and avoids a charge in the corner. The FU barely gets two though and now it’s Cena being stunned. With nothing else working, Cena grabs his chain, which is taken away by the competent referee. Instead it’s the brass knuckles off Show’s head, setting up the FU to give the filthy cheater the pin and the title at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was more of a coronation than anything else and it came at the end of a not very interesting match. The problem with someone like Show is there are only so many things that you can do with him. Cena has the power to make it work a little better, but this isn’t the best time in Show’s history and it was obvious here. That being said, this was ALL about Cena and as long as he left with the title, nothing else mattered.

Coach is walking through the back and after meeting various people like Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, he goes in to see Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff (with assistant Johnny Nitro), who wants to make sure that Undertaker is here. Bischoff sends Coach to find him but Coach isn’t exactly comfortable with that. He goes anyway, as Bischoff doesn’t really care.

Evolution, minus HHH, is in a stairwell, with Randy Orton talking about how it’s ironic that we are back here in MSG where he became the new Hardcore Legend. We see a clip of Orton kicking Mick Foley down these steps, which made Foley walk away back in December. Then Foley came back, when Orton spat in his face. Foley can’t accept that life has passed him by, just like evolution.

We see clips of Foley being beaten up over and over, including a segment where Foley told Orton to really hit him in the face. Evolution has gotten bored with it, just like Foley, so he called Hollywood to get the Rock. Then Evolution beat him down too and they’ll do it again tonight. It all started here in MSG, and tonight it all ends here as well. This one always stuck out for me too, just because of the different location.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Van Dam and Booker are defending (with their pretty terrible mashup theme) and this is one fall to a finish. Dupree and Van Dam start things off with a monkey flip sending Dupree flying. Booker beats up La Resistance but it’s off to Bubba for the hard lockup. A neckbreaker drops Booker for two and the snap jabs put him down again. D-Von comes in so Van Dam takes him down with a top rope kick to the face, showing that he too is a filthy cheater by coming in without a tag.

Jindrak tags himself in to stomp away on Booker and it’s Dupree coming back in to drive Booker into the corner. Conway cranks on both arms with a knee in Booker’s back for far too long until a spinebuster breaks things up. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house but D-Von shoves him off the top to break up the Five Star. Everything breaks down and Cade saves Booker from the 3D. Booker kicks Conway down and the Five Star retains the titles at 7:54.

Rating: C-. This is one of the most “yeah whatever” matches I can remember in a long time. There were too many people involved and it was only so good because of all of the people running around. Also, why are you using a minute of an eight minute match on a rest hold? You have eight people involved but we spent that long on Conway pulling Booker’s arms? Really?

Coach goes to find Undertaker and is told there are some “freakish noises” coming from a door. He heads to the door, which is being knocked back and forth. Gene Okerlund, pulling his clothes come back on, comes out, followed by Bobby Heenan, whose shirt is undone. Coach wonders what is going on, but Heenan says they were playing poker. Heenan: “He was dealing.” Coach wants to know what was going on in there, so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, who grab Gene and Heenan and drag them back in. Heenan: “No I don’t want to go back! I haven’t been well!” This still gets me every time.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They used to be best friends and made a bet about who could be more, ahem, successful with Lita and Trish Stratus respectively. Lita kind of went away, but Jericho started to fall for Trish. She found out about the bet and yelled at Jericho, who then tried to win her back. Christian turned on Jericho to get him to be the old Jericho again, setting up the match. This was a really detailed story and I’ve always liked it for telling a coherent story throughout. You don’t get that often and it was one of the best of the era.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

They fight over a lockup to start and go into the corner, with Christian shoving him instead of giving a clean break. Jericho punches him in the face and starts throwing knees to take over, setting up the running elbow. A kick to the face and a backdrop to the floor keep Christian in trouble and Jericho hits a bit dive to take him down again. Back in and Christian manages to belly to back suplex him to the floor to take over for the first time.

The neck crank goes on back inside, followed by a chinlock with a knee in Jericho’s back. A spinwheel kick gives Christian two and it’s time to slap Jericho in the face a few times. That earns him a head to head collision though and they’re both down. The slugout goes to Jericho and he hits the running crotch attack to the back in the ropes. The step up enziguri gives Jericho two but Christian reverses a rollup into one of his own, with a grab of the rope getting two.

Jericho’s bulldog sets up the Lionsault to Christian’s raised knees and a reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two of his own. Jericho is right back up with his swinging sleeper drop but he gets tossed off the top, banging up his knee in the process. Christian’s high crossbody is rolled through so he kicks Jericho in the knee. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on for a bit until Jericho reverses into the Walls.

Christian is in the ropes almost immediately and he rolls outside….with Jericho holding on and keeping the Walls on outside. Back in and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two and here is Trish Stratus to slap the apron. An implant DDT gives Christian two, which draws Trish up to the apron. Christian shoves her down so Jericho sends him outside. Trish elbows Jericho in the face (it’s unclear if she could see who it was) and Christian’s rollup with tights is enough for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: B. This got going once it became a regular match and these two have more than enough talent to make a longer match work. Christian certainly needed the win more than Jericho here, as it was a big boost in probably his biggest singles win ever. Jericho winning here ends the feud so having Christian move up is the right way to go. Good match too, and that really shouldn’t be surprising.

Post match Trish is upset and apologizes to Jericho. Christian comes back but Trish turns on Jericho and slaps him on the face, setting up the Unprettier. Evil Trish leaves with Christian and we get the semi-famous kiss on the stage in the next big step for both of them.

Mick Foley is fired up to be back in Madison Square Garden and needs to get in that mindset to put all of this anger and emotion on Evolution. The Rock interrupts and is VERY fired up, saying he has finally come back…..home. After telling Lilian Garcia not to look at the People’s package (which she does), Rock steals the cameraman to come with him and sees Hurricane and Rosey, Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and then goes all the way into the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re ready for Evolution and it’s weird seeing Rock and Foley as these two big serious guys going up against evil.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

No recap video here, but it’s basically Foley fighting Randy Orton and the two of them both have major backup. Rock and Foley clear the ring to start before Rock and Flair settle things down, giving the New York fans a crazy dream match. A shoulder puts Flair down and Rock busts out a strut, with Flair coming back up for a WOO. The chops don’t do Flair any good and Rock hits a backdrop to send him rolling outside.

Foley follows him out and drops Flair with a clothesline before coming in himself. That sends Orton bailing to the floor so Foley is right there to send him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Rock takes over on Orton (there’s a dream match we never got), but has to punch Flair and Batista off the apron. The distraction is enough for Batista to come in and take over, allowing Flair to hit some more effective chops. We get the big strut and Flair goes up top and….oh you know the deal.

Batista comes back in before Rock can bring in Foley but the tag brings in Foley a few seconds later anyway. Foley fights out of the corner and hammers Batista down but that huge Batista clothesline cuts his down. Some double teaming on the floor has Foley in more trouble and there’s the big whip to send him knees first into the steps (taking that bump so many times explains so much about why Foley walks that way).

Back in and Foley and Flair slug it out until Orton can come in and pull at Foley’s hair for a reverse chinlock. Batista adds some clotheslines but Foley slips in a quick Mandible Claw. In a smarter move than you would expect from a musclehead like this version of Batista, he waves Orton in for the save instead of getting in more trouble. Flair comes back in and gets forearmed in the face, allowing the really easy tag back to Rock. House is cleaned but Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster.

That lets Flair….load up the People’s Elbow (complete with throwing an invisible elbow pad), but again he takes too long, allowing Rock to nip up and really clean house. The spinebuster plants Flair, setting up a People’s Elbow, complete with strut, for a delayed two. There’s the Rock Bottom to Orton with Flair making the save.

Flair grabs a chair but the distraction lets the Batista Bomb hit Rock to give Orton two (in the same way Batista helped Orton beat Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2003). The real hot tag brings in Foley to clean house but the Mandible Claw takes too long (theme of the match) and Orton grabs an RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B+. The more I see this match, the more I like it, as you have Rock and Flair doing everything they could to steal the show and Foley going after Orton every chance he could. Batista was in there with the muscle and it made for a great showcase. It was every bit the big moment that they were shooting for and it made me want to see a bunch of these combinations again. That wouldn’t happen for the most part, but dang they made this one work really well, as the match itself was a backdrop to just doing entertaining stuff, leaving the crowd completely in their hands.

Hall of Fame video recap, featuring Heenan’s “I wish Monsoon was here”, which will get me every single time.

The Hall of Fame class is introduced by Gene Okerlund:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as only he can)
Tito Santana (about as perfect of a midcarder as you could have)
Big John Studd (represented by his son)
Harley Race (yep, though billing him as The King is a bit odd)
Pete Rose (booed, but apparently very grateful for the honor so points for that)
Don Muraco (I could go for more of him, as you don’t see him brought up very often)
Greg Valentine (who looks like he is ready for Wrestlemania IV)
Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)
Billy Graham (there’s an influential one)
Sgt. Slaughter (with the salutes)
Jesse Ventura (I could listen to that voice talk about anything, as long as he jabs McMahon)

This was the first class in almost ten years and it is a heck of a group, though no one really stands out as a headliner.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Playboy Evening Gown match, as Jackie and Stacy are jealous of the other two for being in the magazine. Hold on though as Sable wants to start minus the evening gowns. That’s exactly what we do, with commentary reacting exactly as you would expect them to. Jackie won’t drop her gown so it gets ripped off of her to start fast. Sable kicks at Jackie’s ribs in the corner and Torrie comes in with a high crossbody.

Stacy comes in (taking her time to come over the ropes) and throws in a cartwheel. The Kevin Nash choke in the corner doesn’t do Stacy much good so they go to the pinfall reversal sequence for various camera shots. Stacy’s kick to the face gets two on Torrie before it’s back to Jackie. The referee gets rolled over and it’s Torrie reversing a rollup for the pin on Jackie at 2:32. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Fans have come from various states and countries for the show.

WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero says he has Chris Benoit’s back win or lose, but Benoit doesn’t like the word lose. Eddie says no one believes in him but Benoit says he believes in himself and tonight is his night. That’s what Eddie wanted to hear.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (with his dad) is defending and will enter last in the ten person gauntlet. Everyone gets their entrance (with Ultimo Dragon’s two slips edited out, thankfully) and it’s Shannon Moore in at #1 and Ultimo Dragon in at #2. Dragon works on the arm to start but Moore shoulders him down for….well not much really. Back up and Moore misses a Whisper in the Wind, allowing Dragon to hit his standing Sliced Bread for the elimination at 1:19.

Jamie Noble is in at #3 to jump Dragon from behind with a clothesline for two. Dragon is right back with his alternating kicks for two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. A neckbreaker drops Dragon and a guillotine choke finishes him off at 2:17 (total). Funaki is in at #4 and hits a high crossbody but Noble rolls through for the pin at 2:27.

Nunzio is in at #5 as commentary brings up SD Jones getting pinned in nine seconds at Wrestlemania. Some quick rollups give Nunzio two but Noble sends him outside for the HUGE flip dive off the top. They take turns pulling each other off the apron until Noble gets the countout elimination at 4:20.

Billy Kidman is in at #6 to jump Noble from behind (again with the filthy cheaters) and Nunzio pulls Noble to the floor. Instead of standing around, Kidman hits a crazy top rope shooting star onto the two of them for the almost terrifying landing. Thankfully Kidman is able to throw Noble back inside for two but has to fight out of the guillotine. An enziguri sets up the shooting star press, but Kidman has to fight Noble off. That’s fine enough, as the super BK Bomb gets rid of Noble at 6:12.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash) is in at #7 and the top rope seated senton connects, only to have Kidman blast him with a dropkick. Mysterio hits his own dropkick to send Kidman outside but Akio snaps Rey’s throat across the top. Kidman’s spinebuster gets two so he puts Rey on top, only to get pulled down with a sunset bomb for the elimination at 7:30.

It’s Tajiri in at #8 to kick away at Mysterio and the Tarantula makes it worse. That doesn’t last long (just shy of five seconds oddly enough) and it’s the 619 to rock Tajiri. The springboard….something misses though and Tajiri loads up the mist, which hits an interfering Akio by mistake.

Rey grabs a rollup to get rid of Tajiri at 8:39 and apparently the mist means Akio can’t go, so Chavo is in at #10 to complete the field. Tajiri cheap shots Rey so Chavo gets two but Rey fights up and takes Chavo Sr. down. The running flip dive takes out Sr. again (well that seemed excessive) so Jr. grabs a rollup, with Sr. grabbing his hands to retain the title at 10:31.

Rating: C. This was the next match in the “well, here are a bunch of people” series of matches on the show. I’ve never gotten the logic of these matches as you have people getting falls in a minute when usual matches take five times as long as one elimination here. At the same time, Chavo just keeps the title, making this quite the uninteresting showcase, save for Kidman’s big spots.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They talked trash to each other at the Royal Rumble and then Lesnar interfered in said Rumble to help eliminate Goldberg. Then Goldberg cost Lesnar the WWE Title so we have this match, with Steve Austin as guest referee. As a result, the feud wound up being Lesnar vs. Austin, as Austin gave Goldberg the idea to help cost Lesnar the title. Then Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Goldberg was just kind of there too. Oh and both Goldberg and Lesnar are leaving after the show and everyone knows about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Steve Austin is guest referee. Lesnar and Goldberg do their big entrances and we immediately hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants (pick your target). They stare at each other for almost a minute and Austin tells them to go at it. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as I try to get my mind around the idea of Lesnar having a tiny goatee coming in. They stare at each other some more as commentary talks about Lesnar going to the NFL.

There’s no contact for the first two minutes so Austin stares at both of them as he figures out that this is going to be a long night. They finally lock up after about 2:50 and that stays on for nearly 40 seconds with both of them letting go. They fight over another lockup, and by fight I mean they’re standing there with their arms around each other’s heads. Fans: “THIS MATCH SUCKS!”

Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first offensive move about five minutes in. They trade shoulders with neither going anywhere so they go nose to nose to yell at each other. The double shoulder puts them both down and then stare at each other a bit. Goldberg FINALLY picks him up in a gorilla press for a spinebuster but the spear only hits buckle. After a GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, Lesnar throws him back inside for some suplexes and a standing choke as Lawler desperately tries to turn this into a Raw vs. Smackdown thing.

That goes on for a long time as well until Goldberg fights out and they collide again, earning some straight booing. Goldberg fights up again and hits some clotheslines into a swinging neckbreaker. The spear gets two so Goldberg yells at Austin, allowing Lesnar to come back with the F5 for two. Now it’s Lesnar yelling at Austin, meaning he misses a spear of his own. Goldberg hits the spear and the Jackhammer gets rid of Lesnar for about eight years.

Rating: D-. Of course the match is terrible and a form of torture in 14 states, but there is some kind of perverse entertainment out of the whole thing. This wasn’t designed to be an entertaining match but rather two guys just messing around until they did a few things and called it a match. It’s an all time mess, but it’s a bit different than a match being a wreck just because it isn’t any good. This one is so bad that it’s fun in a way, which is a very different thing.

Post match we get beer and Stunners as the fans are pleased with Austin for knocking out those two after that match.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

In a very nice moment, Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for being there for twenty years of Wrestlemania. This is the kind of genuine feeling moment that you do not get in modern WWE and it was kind of sweet.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi) are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Benjamin jumps Bradshaw to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Doug Basham tags himself in and suplexes Benjamin down for two, with Haas having to make the save. Back up and Benjamin slams Doug onto Haas’ knee and it’s off to Scotty to run Haas over.

That lets Scotty stop to dance but he gets thrown over the top. Scotty is fine enough to skin the cat but Haas catches him on his shoulders, allowing Benjamin to hit the running jump onto his back. The Bashams come in and hit a double suplex on Scotty to take over as the heat segment in the second four way Tag Team Title match on a four and a half hour show continues.

Scotty finally flips out of a belly to back suplex and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. Haas takes the Stinkface and Bradshaw fall away slams Doug over the top and onto a pile on the floor. The Clothesline From Bradshaw hits Danny but Rikishi takes Bradshaw out and sits on Danny to retain at 6:03.

Rating: D+. It was about the same as the first four way, but this would probably be the first match that needed to be cut to trim some of the time off this very long show. Rikishi and Scotty are another on the long list of forgotten teams to hold the titles and it isn’t like this was anything memorable either.

Dancing ensues post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year away with a neck injury.

Here is Jesse Ventura to interview someone so he picks…..Donald Trump, who happens to be in the front row. Jesse plugs the Apprentice and suggests that he is going to run for President, even asking for Trump’s financial and moral support. Sure, and we’ll move on as fast as we can.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair, which was the only way they could get this match on the show so the two of them immediately agreed. Molly forearms her down to start and hits a running hip attack in the corner. Back up and Victoria spins out of a wristlock and Molly needs an early breather. She gets back in and grabs a snap suplex for two on Victoria, setting up a basement dropkick for two more.

The neck crank is on as Lawler goes into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria fights up and hits a powerslam for two as JR wants some hot tea. Molly is sat on top and comes back with a sunset bomb for two of her own. For some reason Molly tries the Widow’s Peak (Victoria’s finisher) but Victoria reverses into a rollup to retain at 4:54.

Rating: C. They were victims of the time problems again here as there is only so much you can do in less than five minutes. The good thing is that the two of them are talented enough to make something out of nothing so the match was certainly watchable, even if it was more about setting up the post match stuff. It’s literally a case of this being the best WWE could give them though and that is better than just cutting the match.

Post match Molly tries to run away but gets sleepered out and tied in the chair for the big hair cut.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title. Angle attacked Eddie because he didn’t want a former drug addict as the WWE Champion (the future would not be kind to this story for Angle). Therefore, it is time for a real hero to take the title but Eddie isn’t standing for this. Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman has gotten in on Angle’s side and has helped him destroy Eddie more than once, including once when Eddie’s hands were handcuffed behind his back. Now it’s time for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending and the haircut is continuing as Angle makes his entrance. They start slowly with Eddie actually taking him down but making the mistake of trying to go amateur with him. Angle’s headlock takeover works rather well but Eddie as we get the LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chants. Eddie gets a fireman’s carry takeover but Angle flips over into a front facelock without much trouble.

A backdrop gets Eddie out of trouble and he armdrags Angle over into an armbar, setting in the frustration. Angle fights up and gets an abdominal stretch to stretch Eddie’s abdominals before hitting a German suplex. The second is escaped and Eddie winds up on the apron, where he has to block the German suplex to the floor. A dropkick puts Angle down but Eddie’s big dive only hits the barricade to bang up his ribs even more.

Some shoulders to the ribs set up a bodyscissors but Eddie jawbreaks his way to freedom. That lasts for all of two seconds as Angle drops the ribs across the top rope and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Now it’s a waistlock to stay on the ribs and another belly to belly gives Angle another two. Eddie manages a quick knockdown though and goes up for the frog splash, which only hits mat.

The frustrated Angle starts throwing right hands, which just fire Eddie up enough to start his comeback. The rolling German suplexes cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag. Two Amigos connect until Angle picks the ankle but Eddie kicks him off immediately. Eddie goes up but Angle is right there with the run up the ropes belly to belly superplex for the big crash back down.

Angle runs him over again though and the straps come down, setting up the Angle Slam. Eddie breaks that up as well and it’s a DDT to set up the frog splash for a rather close two. The ankle lock goes on again so Eddie rolls him outside and starts untying his boot to loosen the pressure. Back in and the angry Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to have Eddie kick him away and lose his boot. Angle is so stunned that he gets small packaged to retain Eddie’s title at 21:33.

Rating: A-. This was more about the psychology as Angle was hyper focused and Eddie eventually suckered him in with the boot. It made for a great finish, but it also came after an awesome match with Angle taking Eddie apart as only he could and Eddie having to survive. The ending was a very Eddie way to retain the title and that grin is hard to turn down. Absolutely a Wrestlemania match and an instant classic that doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane in the return of the Dead Man. Kane had turned on Undertaker and buried him alive (again) because he thought Undertaker was going soft. Then the gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane realized he was in trouble. Now Undertaker is back and it’s time for some revenge.

Kane vs. Undertaker

It’s the first time the Dead Man has been back since 1999 and Paul Bearer is right there with him. We also have torch bearing druids, because you always need torch bearing druids. Kane is already panicked and shouts that Undertaker isn’t real, because somehow Kane still doesn’t get how Undertaker works. Undertaker finally starts punching away against the ropes and they head to the floor for a slugout. That goes to Undertaker, who hits the apron legdrop to stun Kane again.

Back in and Kane kicks him in the face and it turns into a slugout on the mat for a change. The side slam plants Undertaker again, setting up the top rope clothesline for two. Undertaker fights right back with more right hands and tries Old School, which is pulled out of the air by the throat. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane poses instead of covering. Undertaker sits up and stares at Kane mid pose, meaning it’s time for the real beating. Right hands, the chokeslam and the Tombstone finish Kane to make it 12-0 at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the match but rather Undertaker being back, so there was no reason to believe that Kane was any serious threat. What mattered here was having Undertaker get back in the ring and destroy Kane because he is back in a big way. Kane was the designated victim here, which has been the case for him so many times now that he should be used to it.

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit. Michaels and HHH went to a draw at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the title. Then Benoit jumped to Raw and said he wanted the Raw World Title. The contract signing was set but Shawn ran in to interrupt, saying he needed that one more shot. He took out Benoit and signed the contract, because WWE continues to not get how contracts work. Steve Austin then made the match a triple threat, with Shawn being the most wedged in challenger of all time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending in his weird white boots look. We go old school with the weapons check before Benoit sends HHH outside to start. That leaves Benoit to miss a backslide and Crossface on Shawn, who grabs a rollup for two. A northern lights suplex gives Benoit two but HHH is back in. Shawn has to skin the cat to get back inside, where he tosses Benoit out instead.

HHH is set outside as well, where he and Benoit are taken down by a baseball slide. Shawn’s big moonsault to the floor puts everyone down for a change until Benoit is left alone on the outside. The Pedigree is broken up by a returning Benoit, who fires off knees to Shawn’s ribs and sends him into the post. Shawn is fine enough to come back and tie Benoit in the Tree of Woe but HHH cuts Shawn off again.

The flying forearms drops HHH and Shawn nips up, only to have Benoit toss him outside. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but gets crotched by Shawn, who misses Sweet Chin Music to HHH. A DDT sends Shawn outside and a superplex gets six (which is somehow not three) on Benoit. The Crossface goes on out of nowhere so Shawn has to dive in for the save. That earns Shawn some rolling German suplexes into a Swan Dive for a rather close two as HHH is still down.

Now it’s Shawn making the comeback and hammering on Benoit, who gets sent outside. HHH gets superkicked for two with Benoit making the save so everyone goes outside. Shawn gets posted and busted open so Benoit puts on the Crossface, with HHH having to grab the hand to block the tap. HHH sends Benoit into the steps and loads up the announcers’ table (it wouldn’t be Wrestlemania without it), with Shawn helping on a double suplex to put Benoit through said table.

NOW we get the big HHH vs. Shawn slugout, because that’s what the two of them probably wanted this to be the whole time. Shawn whips HHH over the corner for the crash to the floor, with HHH coming up bleeding. Back in and Shawn slowly gets the better of things but a quick Pedigree takes him down.

Benoit has to come back in for the save before sending Shawn outside. The Sharpshooter has HHH in trouble so Shawn breaks it up with the superkick for a delayed two. Benoit sends him outside and reverses the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH can’t get the rope and Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring for the tap and the title at 24:08.

Rating: A+. Yes it’s still a masterpiece with nothing close to a misstep or weak part and that is not something you get to see very often. All three worked hard and at the end of the day, Benoit won clean over HHH via submission in the middle of the ring. This felt like the main event of a milestone show and it was an incredible match which has not gotten old every time I have seen it. That is hard to do and it certainly deserves the honor.

Benoit gets the HUGE celebration with the confetti falling. Eddie Guerrero comes in for the shot that is now iconic for all the wrong reasons and JR’s voice gives out with the shouting to end the show.

Well almost, as we get the highlight reel to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. In case it wasn’t clear throughout, there are more than a few matches on this show that feel like they are there for the sake of getting people on the card. If you get rid of those matches, this is an all time classic, as well as having the show be under four hours. The rest of the show is pretty much an all timer (Goldberg vs. Lesnar aside) with the matches either feeling important or being great. Just trim it down and stop cramming things in and it’s that much better. It’s absolutely worth a look if you have seen it before or not, but have the fast forward button ready.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C-

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2018 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F
2013 Redo: E
2015 Redo: F
2018 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2022 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

I think we’ve found about the definitive ratings for this one, or at least as close as you’re going to get after five looks at it.

 

 

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Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

If there is one thing that WWE does well, it is big milestone episodes where they are able to look back on what they have done before and praise themselves for it. The good thing is that this show has a lot going for it on its own, including the legendary ladder match and the two World Title matches, along with a second instant classic. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the first Wrestlemania (egads it’s amazing how far they have come, even in nine years), with some awesome old school clips.

The opening sequence is just a look at the World Title participants without so much as a voiceover.

Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful in a great performance.

Vince and Lawler explain the WWF Title situation, which is going to require some backstory. Lex Luger and Bret Hart were co-winners of the Royal Rumble, so both of them are getting title shots (since the triple threat wasn’t a big thing yet). Luger won a coin toss, meaning he will face Yokozuna for the WWF Title first, while Bret will face his brother Owen Hart (had Bret won the coin toss, Luger would have faced Crush). Bret will then face the winner of Luger vs. Yokozuna, no matter what happens in Bret vs. Owen.

We recap Bret vs. Owen, which is all about Owen wanting to get out from his brother’s shadow. Bret is one of the top stars in the WWF but Owen feels he is even better. They tried to win the Tag Team Titles together but the injured Bret wouldn’t tag out, costing them the titles. Owen turned on him as a result, which felt completely justified as Bret wouldn’t listen and tried to do everything himself. This is Owen’s big chance to prove that he’s a star in his own right and back up everything he has said about Bret for months now.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Dig that entrance where the X in the Wrestlemania logo slides apart, plus the entrance being opposite the hard camera as only MSG can make work. They go straight to the lockup, with Owen celebrating almost immediately. Bret wrestles him down and this time Owen has to go to the ropes for a break. Back up and Owen takes him down but this time Bret sends him outside to escape.

Owen slaps him in the face and then grabs a headlock, only to get reversed into a hammerlock. A rollup out of the corner gives Bret two and he armdrags Owen into an armbar. That’s broken up as well so Bret grabs a monkey flip, followed by a clothesline to the floor as things pick up for the first time. Owen teases leaving so Bret throws him back inside and hits a slap of his own, setting up another arm crank.

That’s broken up as well and Owen hits a spinwheel kick as neither can keep an advantage for that long. They head outside with Owen ramming him back first into the post. A backbreaker stays on the back and we hit a camel clutch as Owen plays Iron Sheik. Bret gets out (I knew he was better than Backlund) but charges into a belly to belly for two. Owen’s middle rope spinning crossbody connects and it’s off to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Bret’s back.

With that not working well enough, Owen tosses him to the floor, followed by a bridging German suplex for two back inside. It’s time to crank things up with a jumping Tombstone but instead of covering, Owen goes up to miss a top rope headbutt. Bret fights up and hits a clothesline, followed by a Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow gets the same but Owen comes back with the enziguri.

Owen tries his own Sharpshooter but Bret counters, only to have his own version countered as well. A cradle gives Owen two with the kickout sending him outside. Lawler freaks out again, as he is glorious in praising Owen while yelling about Bret. A dive to the floor drops Owen again but Bret bangs up his knee on the landing. Back in and Owen goes right for the knee rather than letting Bret have a chance to sucker him in, including wrapping the leg around the post over and over.

Something like an Indian Deathlock has Bret down again so we hit the LET’S GO BRET chant. There’s something so simple about a chant like that but it just feels like wrestling. Owen goes a bit more classic with the Figure Four but Bret turns it over, sending Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret whips him chest first into the buckle, setting up a bulldog for two.

A heck of a piledriver gives Bret two more, though it seems to tweak his knee a bit. Said knee is fine enough to hit a top rope superplex (Bret always made those look good) for another near fall as Bret is getting frustrated. Bret grabs a sleeper so Owen goes for the ropes and kicks him low to escape. Owen slaps on the Sharpshooter, which is reversed into Bret’s version, which sends Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret gets whipped into the corner but gets up a boot to stop a charge. Bret tries a victory roll but Owen sits down on him for the clean pin at 20:22.

Rating: A. Absolute classic here and still probably the best opening match ever. What made this work so well, in addition to the great wrestling, is the story that they were telling. Bret was going as hard as he could but he couldn’t beat the motivated Owen, who had everything riding on this. If Owen lost here, he had nowhere to go and would go even nuttier, which was enough to get him past his brother. I’ve seen this one a ton of times and it is still great every time. Check this out again in case you haven’t seen it in awhile.

In the back, Owen is VERY happy with his win and says he told us all. This is more pride than anything else as Owen is finally validated. He even praises Bret a bit because while he still loves his brother, he had to win. That’s a great little detail and something you don’t see in a lot of matches and stories.

Wrestlemania II was in three cities and had celebrities!

Sy Sperling, the President of the Hair Club for Men, presents Howard Finkel in a toupee.

Doink The Clown/Dink The Clown vs. Luna Vachon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Makes sense to put this here as nothing serious should be following the opener. Bigelow wastes no time in dropkicking Doink down to start but misses a backsplash. Doink avoids a charge and works on an armbar, which lasts as long as you would expect. It’s off to Luna vs. Dink, the latter of whom starts with a quick spank. Luna chokes him on the middle rope, only to miss a charge on the ropes. Dink’s elbow drop gets two so Luna kicks him in the stomach. Dink drives her into the corner but misses something off the top for a crash.

This time it’s Luna going up, where she misses a splash (which got some height) of her own. The double tag brings in Bigelow and Doink, with Bigelow clotheslining him out to the floor in a heap. For some reason Dink is able to knock Bigelow down to his knees but Luna chases him back outside. Back in and Doink tries a sunset flip on Bigelow, which goes about as well as you would expect. Doink is fine enough to hit a jumping DDT on Bigelow, setting a missed top rope Whoopee Cushion. Bigelow knocks Dink off the apron and the top rope headbutt finishes Doink at 6:07.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? There is only so much that you can get out of having a match mostly played for comedy, though having Bigelow and Luna win in such dominant fashion was a bit weird. At least they didn’t give it too much time though and it’s hard to get that annoyed at a match that is pure filler.

Post match Dink goes after Bigelow but gets taken down by Luna. The splash misses though and the clowns stand tall enough.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here, complete with Jack Tunney next to him and IRS behind him.

Wrestlemania III was a huge show.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is billed as Falls Count Anywhere, which is true, but it has a twist to it, in that you get a fall but then your opponent has sixty seconds to get back in the ring. Yokozuna destroyed Crush a few months ago and Crush accused Savage, his former friend, of not checking on him. As a result, Crush beat the heck out of him, sending Savage into a rage, costing him a broadcasting job.

Now it’s time for revenge, so Savage charges at him in the aisle. That earns Savage a throat first drop onto the barricade for a fall on the floor less than a minute after the bell. Savage falls down at ringside but makes it back in with two seconds left. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe and hammers away before going over to manager Mr. Fuji to get some salt. As you might expect, Savage gets out and knocks it into Crush’s face, setting up a top rope ax handle to the back.

The top rope elbow connects but Savage is smart enough to throw Crush outside for the pin, meaning the sixty second countdown is on again. Crush makes it back in with a second to go (and Fuji pouring water on his face/pushing him inside), meaning that was the most incredible elbow Savage ever hit.

Back in and Crush starts hammering on the back as they go to the floor again. They fight into the back with Crush being sent face first into a door, where they find some scaffolding. Savage gets the pin, but stops to tie Crush upside down in the scaffolding. Apparently never a Boy Scout, the rope slips and Crush falls down on the floor, but Savage gets the win anyway at 9:03.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they mixed up a couple of stipulations, leaving us with a match that didn’t really work. Waiting for almost a minute after each fall made things drag a lot and that isn’t how such a grudge match should have gone. Savage out for vengeance in a wild weapons brawl should have been easy, but they twisted things around a bit here and it only kind of worked, mainly when they weren’t in the long rest periods. This would be Savage’s last match for the WWE, and it wasn’t a great way to go out.

Todd Pettengill is with the Clinton impersonator, who talks about how he has loved wrestling for years. IRS pops in for some tax jokes.

Video on Fan Fest, the ancestor of Axxess.

Randy Savage celebrates with the fans.

Randy Savage won the WWF Title in a tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai, who challenged for the title at the first Wrestlemania, is challenging here as the company decided it cared about the Women’s Title again. The camera stays rather zoomed in to start before zooming out to show Kai running her over. Kai picks Blayze up for some choking and throws her down as Lawler talks about how much better Kai is at everything.

The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Kai tosses her outside. Back in and a butterfly suplex gives Kai two as this is one sided so far. Blayze fights back with some kicks and a snap suplex is good for two. Lawler suggests that Blayze looks like a horse before the German suplex retains the title at 3:27.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, though Kai getting in that much offense was quite the surprise. The problem is that the division was Blayze, Bull Nakano and maybe one or two other women, which didn’t leave many options. Blayze was good, but there was only so much they could do in about three minutes with a cold challenger.

The Fabulous Moolah and Nikolai Volkoff are watching.

Roddy Piper used a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Shawn Michaels interrupts an interview with Rhonda Shear, a USA TV host, but Burt Reynolds interrupts and gets the girl. Reynolds seems to have no idea why he’s here.

Tag Team Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo (better known for his bird themes such as Scotty Flamingo and Raven), are defending but rapping Oscar is here with Men on a Mission. The champs jump the rather large challengers before the bell to start fast. Mo gets knocked outside but Mable runs the champs over with a double clothesline.

We settle down to Mo crossbodying Pierre for two and Mable drops the leg to make it worse. It’s back to Mo, who gets taken into the corner this time so the stomping can begin. Mo gets sent outside for a dive from Pierre for two back inside. A double hot shot gets the same as Lawler thinks Mabel has gone off to find food. Mo finally scores with a running flip attack but the referee doesn’t see the tag to Mabel.

Pierre misses a top rope legdrop though and the hot tag brings in Mabel to wreck the normal sized humans. A missed charge slows him down and the Quebecers manage a double suplex (Polo approves) to drop the giant. The Cannonball gets two but Mabel is back up with a spinwheel…well leg as his foot didn’t come close to Jacques’ face. An assisted splash crushes Jacques so Polo distracts the referee. Oscar breaks that up as Pierre hits Jacques by mistake. Another assisted splash hits Pierre on the floor and that’s a countout at 7:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the best match as Mabel is so big that you can only do so much with him and Mo just wasn’t very good. The Quebecers were a good team but they weren’t exactly miracle workers. Men on a Mission was a fun team just because of how bright and colorful they were, but you’re only able to get so far with this kind of a matchup.

Wrestlemania VI was the Ultimate Challenge, which proved that no one was unbeatable. In other words, pay no attention to that loser about to sign with WCW.

Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block) and Rhonda Shear are the ring announcer and timekeeper.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Luger is challenging and Mr. Perfect is the surprise guest referee (in a referee shirt and matching pants for a different, yet still perfect, look). Yokozuna has Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji with him for quite the numbers advantage. Vince is doing everything that he can to make fans care about Luger, even calling him the embodiment of the spirit of America. Maybe calling him the embodiment of the spirit of someone who won the WWF Title at some point might help.

They glare at each other to start until Luger starts hammering away. The right hands put Yokozuna on the floor but Luger tosses him back inside, actually having learned his lesson from Summerslam. Back in and Luger goes up (Huh?) for a high crossbody (HUH?) for two, setting up the jumping elbow (which actually connects for a change) for two more. Luger tries a slam but Yokozuna falls onto him for the crash, meaning it’s time to start the slow beatdown.

Yokozuna pulls off the turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold, which means putting his hand on Luger’s neck and not even pretending to squeeze. Luger starts fighting up and elbows his way out, only to get knocked down again. Some hard chops to the neck set up another nerve hold, which goes on for another minute plus before Luger is sent outside. Back in and we hit the nerve hold AGAIN, with Luger giving a look of boredom rather than pain, as this match is so far beyond dead that it’s actively turning into a zombie so it can die again.

Luger fights up and gets knocked down again, setting up the fourth nerve hold in a match that is just over eleven minutes long so far. That one is broken up as well but Yokozuna hits a belly to belly suplex. A missed charge sends Yokozuna into the exposed buckle though and Luger makes the clothesline comeback to put Yokozuna down.

Now the slam works (Lawler: “THAT WAS A HIPTOSS! THAT WAS A HIPTOSS!”) and Luger hits the loaded forearm. Mr. Fuji and Cornette come in but get decked, only to have Mr. Perfect not count with the two of them still in the ring. Luger yells at Perfect and shoves him, which is enough for the DQ at 14:38.

Rating: D-. This was absolutely dreadful and one of the worst major Wrestlemania matches of all time. Yokozuna could barely move and had to go to the same lazy hold four times in less than fifteen minutes. I know he’s huge and can’t move much, but maybe that means it is time for him to figure out something else. That didn’t help things, but it also exposed the other issue with Luger’s big push.

In addition to Yokozuna being terrible, Luger looked AWFUL here, as he did almost nothing but right hands and clotheslines. There are things you can do with an opponent the size of Yokozuna but Luger went as basic as possible, just like he did at Summerslam. At the same time, Luger looked bored out there with almost no charisma or anything close to it. Neither guy was putting in much effort here and it showed badly, as the fans calling the whole thing BS at the end being rather telling.

We go to the back where Mr. Perfect says you can’t touch a referee or you get disqualified. Luger comes in to yell at him but referees separate them. This was supposed to be a long term followup on Luger knocking Perfect out cold last year at Wrestlemania but Perfect left the company before it could go anywhere.

Vince and Lawler talk about the match, with Vince having to acknowledge the BS chants.

There was a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII. THAT’S the match you pick from that show?

Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel about being a stupid New Yorker who has big ears and fake hair. He doesn’t like Fink’s suit either and rips it up, so Fink fights back. Cue Adam Bomb to go after Fink, but Earthquake of all people makes the save.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Powerslam and the Earthquake finishes Bomb at 34 seconds. I’m going to assume this was a time issue.

Jim Cornette isn’t happy with how the match with Luger went but all that matters is who has the belt. He loved Mr. Perfect’s officiating and remember that BOTH PARTIES agreed on the referee choice. As for Bret Hart, what matters is whether he makes it through the match with his career intact. Bret already lost to his brother and has a bad knee but he still has to face this monster. Cornette knew how to hype someone up like few others could.

Wrestlemania VIII had an Undertaker….something. No match or opponent is mentioned, but he sure was there.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Ramon is defending and the title is hanging above the ring, because this is the ladder match. Ring announcer: “There are NO RULES.” He then explains how you win the title, which sounds a lot like rules. This is fallout from Shawn being suspended while still champion and being stripped of the title. Ramon won it, but then Shawn came back and said he was the real champion. Therefore, hang them both above the ring and see who can pull them down. Diesel is here with Shawn, meaning Razor has to keep glancing down at him.

Ramon blocks an early hiptoss attempt and hits a hard chokeslam (Razor was one of the first to really use that around here and it’s never remembered). Shawn comes right back with a running neckbreaker and starts hammering away as the cameraman has to avoid a referee. A charging Razor is sent outside where Diesel gets in a clothesline, which earns him an ejection. The camera stays on Diesel all the way to the entrance and we come back to Shawn getting flipped upside down in the corner.

A hard clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and it’s time to pull back the ring mats. That takes too long though and Shawn is back in with some stomping. Razor isn’t having that and punches him in the face, but the Razor’s Edge over the top is countered with a backdrop to the floor onto the exposed concrete. With Ramon down holding his arm, Shawn goes to get the first ladder, which is baseball slidden into Razor’s ribs.

Back in and Shawn drives the ladder into the ribs and then slams it onto Ramon’s back to keep him in trouble. Shawn makes the first climb so razor pulls his tights down on the way up for the save. Since that’s a bit embarrassing, Shawn kicks him down and drops the elbow to put Ramon back down. Shawn goes up the ladder and dives off with a splash for one of the most famous shots in company history.

Another climb is broken up as Razor goes simple by shoving it over. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown and a much needed breather (at least for Shawn, as Razor has mainly just been getting beaten up). Razor is fine enough to throw Shawn into the ladder in the corner for a crash to the floor, but instead of climbing, Razor drives the ladder into Shawn into the post. It works so well that he does it again and then catapults Shawn into the ladder, sending it crashing back down onto Michaels for a good looking bump.

Back in and Razor BLASTS HIM in the face with the ladder, knocking Michaels outside again. Shawn breaks that up as well but this time the ladder falls down onto him, which is quite the punishment. They both go up so Razor backdrops him over the top, only to fall as well, with the ladder bending underneath him. Shawn dropkicks the ladder to make another save and then gets smart by shoving the ladder onto Razor.

Back up again and Shawn hits a superkick, setting up another hard piledriver. Shawn heads to the top and rides the ladder down onto Razor’s in another famous shot before setting the ladder up again. That takes too long though and Razor shoves it over, with Shawn’s leg getting tied in the ropes. That’s enough for Razor to go up and pull down the titles for the win at 18:51.

Rating: A+. I could go with “it’s the ladder match” as the explanation here and it would be completely covered, but this is again almost all about Shawn, as it should be. When you look back at the whole thing, there are only a few big Razor bumps or spots at all. The rest is Shawn doing things to Razor, who is mainly laying there. Razor got the title, but Shawn got the glory and fame here, which is how it should be. This is the match that really put Shawn on the map and my goodness it is easy to see why, as he was a human pinball who made this look flawless. I would tell you it’s great, but again, it’s the ladder match.

IRS, the Headshrinkers, Rick Martel and Adam Bomb argue about who the captain is going to be in their ten man tag. Somehow, this results in the match being postponed to Raw in a few weeks.

Ted DiBiase meets the Clinton impersonator but Clinton doesn’t want to talk politics.

Wrestlemania IX was outside and Yokozuna cheated to win the WWF Title. And nothing else happened after that.

Video on Bret Hart, set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Video on Yokozuna.

It’s time for the main event so Jenny Garth is timekeeper and a seemingly hammered Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna, again with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, is defending and the guest referee this time is….Roddy Piper. Bret even sells the leg from earlier in the night on his way to the ring, with Yokozuna jumping him on the way in. The slow beating is on, with Yokozuna hammering him down and then standing around for a bit. Yokozuna cuts off the comeback attempt and chokes in the ropes, earning a tongue lashing from Piper.

Bret fights back again with a headbutt, which actually puts Yokozuna down, albeit after some staggering. Cornette pulls Piper out at two so Piper drops him with as much effort as you would expect. The delay lets Yokozuna knock Bret over again and the legdrop lands right on his face. Back up and Yokozuna very, very slowly hammers on Bret in the corner, only to miss the big charge.

Bret slugs away and drops the middle rope elbow, setting up the running clothesline for two. A middle rope….something is pulled out of the air to set up the belly to belly and it’s time for the Banzai Drop. That takes a good while to set up though and Yokozuna loses his balance, falling backwards in a big crash. Bret covers and Piper counts rather quickly (so quickly that he doesn’t see Yokozuna’s shoulder being off the mat) for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: C-. It was better than the Luger match because it didn’t go as long, but this was another match where Yokozuna looked like he was gassed after every move. That is the reason you get the title off of him because there isn’t much that can be done with e champion who is virtually immobile after two minutes. Bret didn’t so much win the title as much as he escaped with it, but sometimes that’s all you need to do.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Piper so here is Lex Luger to shake Bret’s hands. Piper comes back as well and here is the locker room, plus the celebrities, to join them. Even Vince and Gorilla Monsoon get in there. Bret is carried on their shoulders….and here is Owen to come out and look at him, with a shake of the head to end the show. That’s great storytelling and something so simple because so many people can relate to it, plus it isn’t some long ago call back that requires some big explanation. Nice job.

Overall Rating: B. This show is kind of fascinating really. the show is beloved and considered a classic, but outside of the opener and the ladder match, the wrestling is ok at best and terrible at worst. It’s a two match show and those two matches are both all timers, but the rest of the show is around a D+. There are some long stretches without anything good going on and that makes this a bit of a chore at times.

Then there is the other part of the show that makes it so well regarded: the show felt important. This felt like a celebration of the history of the biggest WWF show and that was something worth bragging about. At the same time, look at how they celebrated it: a quick look at each of the previous editions and Vince hyping up how important the show is. That’s it. No stadium, no LOOK AT US LOOK AT US LOOK AT US and no ridiculous scripted speeches from commentary with words no one would use. It felt natural but still big, which is something that has been completely lost on WWE over the years.

Overall, this is a special show and something that every fan needs to see at least once, just for the two major matches. Both of them are Wrestlemania moments, but they are about all that is worth watching on the show. I don’t know why Lelani Kai and Earthquake are on a major show in 1994, but that isn’t what people remember. Either way, check this one out if you have the chance, because it still feels special.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: C-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2015 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

This one has actually gone down a bit over the years as the nostalgia might be wearing off a bit.

 

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Royal Rumble 2022
Date: January 29, 2022
Location: The Dome At America’s Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 44,390
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

Somehow this show was a year ago and that might be better for everyone involved. This show was absolutely not well received and I am almost scared to see just how badly this falls down. Hopefully time has been a bit kinder to it, but you never can tell. In addition to the Royal Rumbles, we have Seth Rollins challenging Roman Reigns for the Undisputed Title and Brock Lesnar defending the WWE Title against Bobby Lashley. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the Titantron on my right.

The opening video looks at how the Road To Wrestlemania begins here. As usual we get the Royal Rumble highlight reel and dang there have been some great moments over the years. The rest of the matches, which don’t mean nearly as much (as usual), get some attention as well.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Reigns is defending and is currently by himself, as Paul Heyman has jumped back to Brock Lesnar and the Usos are barred from ringside. In the name of mind games, Rollins comes to the ring to the old Shield music, complete with the through the crowd entrance and gear (Of note: McAfee talks about the Shield days and says it was “Mox”, Seth and Roman”.).

Rollins goes with the grappling to start and Reigns is frustrated early. The corner clotheslines miss for Reigns and Rollins clotheslines him to the floor. Back to back suicide dives don’t do Rollins much good as Reigns knocks him out of the air back inside. They fight to the floor again though and Rollins is fine enough to hit a quick powerbomb through the announcers’ table.

Back in and the frog splash gets two but Rollins misses the Phoenix splash. Reigns’ spear is cut off by a boot to the face though and a buckle bomb into the Stomp gets a close two. Another Stomp is loaded up but Reigns blasts him with a clothesline to cut that off. Reigns’ powerbomb gets two so Rollins laughs at him, earning the big forearms to the face. The laughter is enough to let Rollins pull him into a triangle choke, which is broken up with another hard powerbomb.

They head back outside with Rollins being sent into various things, followed by a Superman Punch for two back inside. They head outside again and the spear cuts Rollins in half. Back in and another spear is countered into the Pedigree (how Rollins beat him for the title in 2016) for a rather close two.

Rollins has to elbow his way out of a Rock Bottom attempt and kicks Reigns in the face. Another spear cuts Rollins down again….but he’s still laughing at Reigns. Rollins holds out the Shield fist so Reigns pulls him into the guillotine. The referee checks the arm, with the hand falling onto the rope for the break. Well in theory at least, as Reigns doesn’t let go and it’s a DQ at 14:23.

Rating: B. This was a good match and that shouldn’t be a shock given who was in there. Any combination of the Shield guys are going to work well together and that was on display here. They tied the history of the team in well and Rollins broke Reigns down mentally, which should set up a huge rematch down the line. Granted it didn’t and this was a one off match, but it should have set something up.

Post match Reigns is all upset and slowly grabs a chair. The big beatdown leaves Rollins laying.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Sasha Banks (in Sailor Moon gear) is in at #1 and Melina is in at #2. They pose at each other to start before Banks dumps her in less than a minute. That leaves Banks do to Melina’s splits pose until Tamina is in at #3. Banks dropkicks her through the ropes before Tamina can get inside, setting up the Meteora from the apron. Tamina saves herself back inside but gets caught with a quick Rey Mysterio bulldog. Running knees have Tamina in trouble in the corner but she headbutts her way to freedom.

Kelly Kelly is in at #4 and it’s strange to see her as anything but the blonde. Kelly comes in for the short form screaming headscissors but stops to dance, allowing Tamina to run her over. For some reason Kelly tries the triangle choke over the ropes on Banks and gets dumped for not thinking that through. Aliyah is in at #5 and hits a weird looking standing Thesz press to hammer on Banks. Tamina slaps Aliyah and they grapple against the ropes as Liv Morgan is in at #6.

Morgan knocks everyone down and stops for a bow, allowing Banks to hit Three Amigos. Queen Zelina is in at #7 and kicks Banks out in a pretty big upset. Tamina can’t eliminate Aliyah as Bianca Belair is in at #8. A kick to the head rocks Tamina and Belair muscles Vega up for a suplex. Belair’s handspring kick to the face can’t get rid of Morgan but she does hit Vega with a moonsault. Dana Brooke, with Reggie, is in at #9 but she does say she’ll go in on her own. Tamina saves Zelina for some reason so Brooke gives Belair a handspring elbow in the corner.

Michelle McCool is in at #10, giving us Tamina, Aliyah, Morgan, Zelina, Belair, Brooke and McCool. House is cleaned and McCool knocks Brooke….right into Reggie’s arms. The Faithbreaker hits Vega and Brooke gets tossed for good this time. Sonya Deville is in at #11 and goes over to join commentary rather than getting inside. The slow elimination attempts continue until Natalya is in at #12.

Morgan goes right at Natalya, who puts her on the apron without much trouble. It’s not quite enough for an elimination so Natalya dumps Tamina instead. More teased eliminations continue until Cameron is in at #13. Cameron cleans some of the house as Deville gets up and slides in, where she takes out Cameron without much trouble. Natalya and Deville are the only ones left standing until Naomi, who hates Deville, is in at #14.

A springboard spinning kick to the face rocks Deville and Naomi kicks her out. Carmella is in at #15 and Corey Graves certainly approves. Carmella walks around the ring as a good chunk of the other women bunched up on one side of the ring for some reason. Rhea Ripley is in at #16 and throws Carmella inside, only to get triple teamed down. Ripley shrugs that off and knocks out Carmella and Vega without much trouble.

Charlotte is in at #17 as a bunch of people go after Natalya. Aliyah is tossed out after about 23 minutes, followed by Naomi being kicked to the floor. She hangs on by her feet….but Sonya Deville is still here to pull Naomi out for the elimination anyway. Ivory, as part of the Right To Censor, is in at #18 and says nothing has changed since she was last here. It is hard for her to look at these girls and, as she gets in the ring, she says she sees a lot of wayward, lost little girls. As she is talking, Ripley picks her up and, as she is still talking, Ripley tosses her out. Ivory: “HOW DARE YOU???”

With that rather funny bit out of the way, Brie Bella is in at #19 and starts the YES chant but can’t get rid of Natalya. Ripley and Belair can’t get rid of Charlotte as Mickie James, reigning Impact Wrestling Knockouts (or Women’s, as the graphic says) Champion is in at #20. That gives us Morgan, Belair, McCool, Natalya, Ripley, Charlotte, Brie Bella and James, the latter of whom goes right after McCool. A headscissors gets rid of McCool and it’s Alicia Fox (with the brown hair instead of the blonde hair) in at #21.

Fox gets to clean some house and the referee checks on Natalya. Nikki Ash is in at #22 and we pause for her to sneak up on Ripley but, of course, she can’t eliminate her. Everyone pairs off until WWE Legend Summer Rae (AND HER SONG THAT IS SO FREAKING CATCHY) is in at #23. A slap off with Natalya goes to Rae, but Charlotte runs her over before anything can get interesting. Natalya dumps Rae and it’s Nikki Bella in at #24. House is cleaned again and the Bellas get to reunite, with Nikki knocking out Fox. Sarah Logan returns at #25, gets in a few shots, and is tossed by the Bellas.

They toss Liv as well, after a pretty ridiculous 37 minutes without an elimination. Liv and Logan get their reunion on the floor as Lita is in at #26. Mickie goes after Lita and gets DDTed, allowing Lita to get the easy elimination. Charlotte and Lita slug it out until Mighty Molly is in at #27…and gets jumped by Ash on the floor. Molly is tossed in and then eliminated by Ash, who gets in a rather long pose and stare. Ronda Rousey makes her big return at #28 and yeah this feels like a huge deal, especially with almost everyone in the ring stopping to look at her.

Ash is out fast and Nikki Bella is sent to the apron…where Brie punches her out. Shotzi is in at #29 as Rousey gets rid of Brie. Rousey goes after Belair and Natalya powerbombs Charlotte as Shayna Baszler completes the field at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Belair, Natalya, Ripley, Charlotte, Lita, Rousey, Shotzi and Baszler. Rousey and Baszler start wrecking people before squaring off instead. Charlotte interrupts that as well so Rousey kicks out Shotzi.

Belair gets rid of Natalya but Natalya comes back in, only to be tossed by Rousey as well. Lita cleans house, including a middle rope hurricanrana on Ripley. The Litasault is loaded up but Ripley breaks it up and, say it with me, Charlotte gets rid of Lita. Ripley and Rousey fight to the apron and Charlotte kicks Ripley out. Belair kicks Charlotte on the apron and spinebusters Baszler but Baszler catches her in the Kirifuda Clutch. That’s reversed into a KOD attempt but Charlotte dumps both of them. We’re down to Rousey vs. Charlotte and they square off, until Charlotte missed a boot in the corner and gets dumped at 59:45.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t exactly great and showed just how little depth there was to the women’s division at this point. Of the thirty women involved, HALF of them were legends or returning names. I know why there is a Women’s Royal Rumble, but if you need to import half of the lineup, it might be time to put it on the shelf. With six of the entrants not even making it a minute each, this was a bunch of nothing until Rousey came in and won, because part timers and returning stars rule.

Titus O’Neil and company did their local charity stuff.

Raw Women’s Title: Doudrop vs. Becky Lynch

Doudrop is challenging and attacked Lynch leading up to the title match. After the Big Match Intros, Doudrop goes with the power to send Becky outside for a breather. Back in and Becky has to bail from a Vader Bomb, leaving Doudrop to get Cannonball the steps by mistake. Becky kicks away but what looks to be a tornado DDT is blocked. The sleeper puts Doudrop down to one knee but she powers out without much effort. Doudrop’s charge goes into the post and Becky hits the missile dropkick for two.

Becky gets run over again though and a backsplash connects for two. The triangle choke has Becky in some trouble but the sitout powerbomb breaks that up fast. The Cannonball gets two but Becky is back up with a Molly Go Round for two of her own. Doudrop’s throat is snapped across the top and a top rope Fameasser gets two more. Back up and Doudrop plants her for two more, only to have another Vader Bomb countered into a super Manhandle Slam to retain the title at 12:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was a lot of standing around waiting on the finish. Doudrop wasn’t about to dethrone the biggest women’s star ever, even if this is a downgraded Becky. This was Becky being given a mountain to climb and I can absolutely give them points for running a fresh challenger out there. That’s a good thing, but you need to have an entertaining match to back it up and that wasn’t the case here. When the most exciting thing in a match is the Wrestlemania sign catching on fire, you’re in big trouble.

The announced attendance is 44,390.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley. They’re very similar, they’re monsters, they were amateur wrestlers, the were mixed martial artists, now they’re having a title match.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley

Lesnar is defending and has Paul Heyman with him while Lashley has MVP. They fight over a lockup to start until Lesnar snaps off a German suplex. Lashley is right back with one of his own but Lesnar hits two in a row. The F5 is countered though and Lashley hits a pair of spears to send Lesnar outside. Another spear sends Lashley through the barricade in the required big crash and Lesnar is rather smiley.

Lashley is back up to post Lesnar and they head back inside. Back in and Lesnar grabs more German suplexes but Lashley slaps on a quick Hurt Lock. Lesnar rams him into the corner for the break and the F5 hits Lashley, only to bump the referee at the same time. Cue Roman Reigns to spear Lesnar down before telling Heyman to hand over the title. Heyman does just that and a belt shot knocks Lesnar silly. Lashley gets the cover and the title at 10:14.

Rating: C+. That’s by far the match of the night so far as it felt like something actually happened. Lesnar vs. Lashley is a genuine dream match and something different for Lesnar, though he wrestled it similar to how he wrestles everything else. The Heyman twist was a good way to go and it’s nice to see Lashley get his title back, but this could have been something special and instead it was just ok. Granted Lashley injured his shoulder during the match so take it with a grain of salt.

Heyman leaves with Reigns as Lashley celebrates.

We recap Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Maryse/Miz. Edge came back, Miz didn’t like it, the wives got involved, mixed tag.

Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Miz/Maryse

Miz is knocked outside to start and Maryse is sent on top of him, allowing Edge to forearm Miz back inside. A cheap shot lets Miz take over on Edge and cannonball down onto his back. Maryse chokes a bit from the floor so Beth goes a stalking, for some reason thinking she needs a chair. Edge manages a quick implant DDT and Maryse can’t cut off the tag.

Beth comes in to beat up Maryse, including a spinning side slam for two. Miz goes after Beth and gets hammered down in the corner for his efforts. Maryse gets in a cheap shot with the loaded purse for two, setting up a camel clutch of all things. That’s broken up and Beth hits a clothesline for the double knockdown.

It’s back to Edge for the Edge-O-Matic on Miz, with Beth adding a powerbomb. Edge’s top rope elbow gets two but he spears the corner for the mishap. Maryse snaps off a top rope hurricanrana (that’s a new one for her) and there’s the French Kiss for Beth. The Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Edge and Miz gives us a shocked face. Beth is back up though and a double spear cuts Miz down. Mostly stereo Glam Slams give Edge the pin at 12:28.

Rating: C. Here is another match where it could have used some chicanery with Miz and Maryse cheating as much as they could have to win the thing and instead they played it pretty straight. The idea of battling couples works, but Edge and Beth aren’t going to lose to Miz and Maryse without all kinds of cheating and everyone knew it. Not an awful match, but another boring one on a show full of them.

A recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor is here so we hear his story.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with AJ Styles in at #1 (and strikes a Shawn Michaels pose for some reason) and Shinsuke Nakamura (Intercontinental Champion) in at #2, meaning Pat McAfee gets to dance on the announcers’ table. A strike off goes to Nakamura, who hits the spinwheel kick to the head but can’t exploder Styles out. Styles knocks him into the corner and it’s Austin Theory in at #3. The rolling dropkick hits Styles to start but Nakamura goes for Theory.

Robert Roode is in at #4 and hits some spinebusters but Styles cuts him off. Styles reverses a whip and sends Roode outside for the quick elimination. Ridge Holland, with face guard, is in at #5 to run some people over. Styles gets rid of Nakamura and goes after Theory as Montez Ford is in at #6. Ford throws Theory to the apron but can’t get rid of him. Instead Ford kicks away at Holland to little effect and US Champion Damien Priest is in at #7.

A bunch of stomping ensues until Sami Zayn is in at #8. More nothing ensues and it’s Johnny Knoxville in at #9. Knoxville takes Sami down and hammers away before going after Styles. The Phenomenal Blitz drops Knoxville fast and Ford adds the frog splash. Sami Helluva Kicks Knoxville out but Styles dumps Zayn for a bonus. Angelo Dawkins is in at #10, giving us Styles, Theory, Holland, Ford, Priest, and Dawkins. Omos is in at #11 and he should get to clear some of the ring. There goes Dawkins and Ford follows him rather quickly.

Ricochet is in at #12 and get chopped by Omos as NOTHING continues to happen. Chad Gable is in at #13 and rallies the troops to go after Omos, which means sending Priest after him alone. With Priest gone, the rest of the group, plus Dominik Mysterio in at #14, gets rid of Omos. Happy Corbin is in at #15 and dumps Ricochet pretty fast. Dolph Ziggler is in at #16 as this is reaching some incredible levels of boring. Deep Six plants Dominik and Corbin gets rid of him, followed by Styles getting rid of Theory.

Sheamus is in at #17, with Holland being tossed before Sheamus can get inside. Rick Boogs is in at #18 and McAfee is excited, as compared to the eerily still crowd. Boogs tosses Gable and Madcap Moss is in at #19. Corbin tosses Styles, ending a nearly thirty minute run with….nothing (that’s the story of the match so far: nothing happens, and we’re just sitting around waiting as more people come in and go out).

It’s Riddle in at #20, giving us Corbin, Ziggler, Sheamus, Boogs, Moss and Riddle as this drones on. Corbin and Moss get rid of Boogs and Drew McIntyre returns from injury at #21. McIntyre wastes no time in getting rid of Moss and Corbin, which would somehow carry on through Wrestlemania. That’s not enough though as Drew follows them outside and unloads on them with steps to the head. Kevin Owens is in at #22 and Pop Up Powerbombs McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio is in at #23 and the fans are barely reacting to a string of big, popular names. Kofi Kingston is in at #24 and gets tossed to the apron fast. Owens breaks up a springboard attempt and Kofi lands on the barricade….but his feet hit the floor as Kofi finally botches his big save spot. It’s Otis in at #25 and hits some elbows as the mindless brawling continues.

Big E. is in at #26 and oh yeah, he’s a former WWE Champion. Belly to belly suplexes abound and the Warrior Splash hits Owens. Bad Bunny gets lucky #27 and gets to clean house, including a high crossbody, followed by a Canadian Destroyer to Riddle. Bunny ducks the Brogue Kick and ducks Sheamus before teaming up with Rey to get rid of Ziggler. Mysterio turns his back on Bunny and almost gets tossed, leaving Owens to Stun Bunny instead. Otis dumps Mysterio and Shane McMahon is in at #28.

Shane wastes no time in getting rid of Owens before slugging it out with McIntyre. Randy Orton, the hometown boy, is in at #29 and the RKO gets rid of Big E. Another RKO hits Otis and Riddle hits a running RKO to McIntyre. Otis is out….and Brock Lesnar is in at #30, meaning everyone knows exactly where this is going. Lesnar gets to clean house, including a bunch of suplexes before dumping Orton and Bunny. Riddle is tossed, Shane follows him, and it’s down to Lesnar vs. McIntyre. Some right hands look to set up the Claymore but Lesnar reversed into the F5 to win at 51:11.

Rating: D-. This was HORRIBLE and is absolutely in the running for worst Royal Rumble of all time. There was no drama until the end, but the bigger problem is there was nothing set up throughout the match. This is the third time I’ve seen this match and I still have no idea what is supposed to be interesting until the end. People come in, they brawl, they get eliminated, more people come in. It’s about 50 minutes of absolute nothing and then “oh well, here’s Brock to get ANOTHER Wrestlemania title match after two minutes of work”. This felt like they didn’t try and just said “Lesnar wins, move on”. Absolutely horrendous.

Overall Rating: D-. I’ve heard this show called the lowest of the low for WWE creative in this era and that very well may be true. The ONLY decent thing on the entire show was Rollins vs. Reigns, and that ended in a screwy finish. You also have Lesnar vs. Lashley and that doesn’t even require creative to work. Instead, we had two terrible Rumbles, one of which is an all time miss, plus some nothing midcard matches. The Rumbles are always going to define these shows though and these were all time terrible. Horrific show and it gets worse every time I watch it.

 

Ratings Comparison

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B-
Redo: B

Women’s Royal Rumble:

Original: C-
Redo: D+.

Becky Lynch vs. Doudrop

Original: D+
Redo: C-

Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Miz/Maryse

Original: C
Redo: C

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: C+
Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
Redo: D-

WOW I have no idea what I was thinking on that Men’s Royal Rumble. That has to be up there on my all time list of stupid ratings.

 

Here is the original review if you need a recap.

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2022/01/30/royal-rumble-2022-at-least-something-caught-fire/

 

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