New Column: That (And THAT) Is In A Name

Like it could be about anything else this week.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-name/

Saturday Night’s Main Event #35 (2022 Redo): Straight Up Boxing

Saturday Night’s Main Event #35
Date: August 18, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

It’s time for the annual hour and a half long commercial for Summerslam which makes you want to watch the original run of this series again. This show has nothing advertised outside of an update on who Vince McMahon’s illegitimate child might be. The show doesn’t make a difference anyway but I’m almost worried about what is going to be on here. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon and Coach are in the back to recap the illegitimate child deal. Coach has been looking through the roster and thinks he has an idea of who Vince’s child is. Vince has told him about all of his dalliances (which he just has records of I guess), except for this one in Kansas City (where Coach is from), back in the 70s….when Coach was born…..and then put up for adoption. Vince thinks this is going to be a long night.

Opening sequence.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Take two Summerslam matches, put them in a tag match. Finlay and Kane, with his taped up ribs, start things off, with Kane knocking him into the corner. It’s quickly off to Batista, who takes Finlay down by the arm. A MuscleBuster drops Finlay again and we take a break. Back with Khali working on the ribs and putting on the stomach Claw.

Kane fights up but gets kicked in the face to put him right back down. That doesn’t last long though as Finlay gets over for the tag off to Batista as everything breaks down. Khali gets tied in the ropes so here is Hornswoggle…who is launched into Khali’s chest. A double chokeslam puts Khali down and the Batista Bomb finishes Finlay.

Rating: C. Total house show style main event and that’s about as good as you’re going to get. Ultimately, the wrestling isn’t so much the point of this show as much as just seeing these wrestlers doing something to get you ready for Summerslam. They didn’t have another option for the ending either so this was about as good as it could have been done.

Vince McMahon has to know who his kid is….and then he looks in a mirror to turn him into his 80s version. Coach gets Vince out of there so Ron Simmons comes up and catchphrases at his own reflection.

MVP is very happy to see Evander Holyfield here to beat Matt Hardy in a boxing match. Holyfield does seem to know him.

Here are Coach and Vince McMahon for Illegitimate Child Corner. Since DNA tests have taken so long, it is time to find out who the child is. Coach talks about how Vince is man with urges but Vince tells him to GET ON WITH THIS. First up, Vince had a tryst in Kentucky, which brings out Eugene. Vince says that’s not possible, because he slept with a woman, not his cousin. Eugene says his Uncle Eric wanted to get into wrestling because Vince nailed his sister….and that’s enough for Vince to cut him off. Eugene: “I LOVE YOU DAD!”

Vince throws him out so Coach brings in Melina, who might have been conceived when Vince was at a Wrestlemania II after party in Los Angeles. Cue Melina, who looks rather upset. They both insist that it isn’t her, as….apparently they had, ahem, a “meeting” on the Fourth of July. Melina better hope that their meeting was, ahem, harmless, or she’s suing him for everything he has. I think he’ll be fine as Vince was in New York for Wrestlemania II, not Los Angeles.

Anyway, there’s one more person but Coach doesn’t want to bring them out. Vince insists though and the glass shatters, meaning we get that classic Vince panic. Austin thinks Vince could be his pops and he could be the fruit of his loins. The result of what came from Vince’s grapefruits if you will. Vince says there’s no chance of that, which Austin says is too bad.

They never had the chance to play catch, go to a football game, build a go kart or teach him how to water ski. Vince never even got to have that talk about the birds and the bees with him. They didn’t get to have a beer together but Vince has had enough of this. Austin thinks the easy thing would be Stunning Vince, but he would rather help him out with the grapefruits instead, meaning a bunch of low blows. Coach gets the Stunner instead and beer is consumed. Vince pulls himself up and gets a Stunner of his own. This was a few jokes until we got to the Austin/Vince moment and that’s always going to work. The search continues.

John Cena vs. Carlito

Non-title and this is the Big Apple Showdown. Cena tackles him down to start and pounds away with right hands. Carlito is sent outside but manages to pull Cena to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the top rope Fameasser for two and the STFU makes Carlito tap in a hurry. Not enough shown to rate but this was almost a Cena squash.

Post match Randy Orton comes in and gives Cena an RKO through an open chair. Cena is out cold and Orton yells at him a lot before staring, evily.

Post break, Randy Orton says that’s just the beginning and he’ll take the WWE Title at Summerslam.

There are a bunch of women at ringside for the boxing match.

Matt Hardy vs. Evander Holyfield

Michael Buffer is here to handle the introductions, including one for MVP, in Holyfield’s corner. Matt is at least wearing headgear to prevent a bad case of destruction. We have two minute rounds and Holyfield knocks him down in about a minute. Hardy gets back up and is down again in about twenty seconds. Somehow he survives again to end the round, with MVP being very pleased. The bell rings for the second round and Holyfield doesn’t want to beat him up anymore. MVP comes in and tells Holyfield to do it, earning himself a knockout. This is about all they could have done and at least they made it fast.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. John Morrison/Big Daddy V

ECW actually gets the closing spot. Matt Striker is here with V and they’re moving through the entrances pretty fast. Punk and Morrison start things off with Punk rolling him up for tow. Morrison sends him throat first into the middle rope so Punk clotheslines him over the top to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Boogeyman backdropping Morrison a bit harder than he needed to but Striker’s distraction lets V come in. That means Boogeyman is thrown around this time but he does avoid a charge in the corner. It’s back to Punk with the springboard clothesline to Morrison but he’s back up with a knee to the head. Not that it matters though as Punk grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C-. This felt like they were running out of time and had to squeeze everyone in there while they could. I’ll take that over not having the match, though V didn’t do much here, which might be a good thing. Punk gets another boost for his title match and that was the point here.

Commentary sends us to a fast highlight video to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. Keeping in mind that this was just a way to build to a pay per view, it was completely watchable. They probably could have cut this down to an hour instead of an hour and a half, but at least they covered a lot of stuff and had the Vince/Austin deal in the middle. Absolutely not a show you need to see, but it would have been completely acceptable background noise while you fold your neighbor’s towels.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Best Of 2021 Awards Part 3 (Last Part)

We’ll wrap it up with some sad parts of the year.

Worst Angle Of The Year

5. Karrion Kross Keeps Losing
4. Cody Rhodes vs. QT Marshall
3. Fiend/Alexa Bliss Exist
2. Nikki Ash

1. Lilly

I was going to go with Nikki, but then I thought of that doll. That stupid, rotten, horrible, no good doll, WHICH WINKED AT THE CAMERA AND THEN APPEARED IN A MIRROR. WWE went out of their way to destroy a lot of people and things for the sake of pushing the idea that Alexa Bliss had an evil doll. It was some bad horror movie come to life and I could not stand this stupid thing, which is somehow following us into 2022, because of course it is.

Angle Of The Year

5. CM Punk Is An Old Gunslinger
4. The Rise Of RKBro
3. Baron Corbin Is Broke And It’s Hilarious
2. Hangman Page Wins AEW World Title

1. Whose Side is Paul Heyman On

WWE is pretty terrible these days but this is must see television. Paul Heyman is one of the greatest performers in wrestling history and the things he is doing in this story has been even better than I would have thought possible. Above all else, he made me want to see where the story was going next and it was nothing short of amazing to see every single week. The story is still going in the new year and I really want to see where these things go next. Or just whatever Heyman is going to do.

Worst Match Of The Year

5. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax – Raw – August 30
4. Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt – Wrestlemania
3. Alexa Bliss vs. Eva Marie – Summerslam
2. Miz vs. Damian Priest – Wrestlemania Backlash

1. Kenny Omega vs. Jon Moxley – Revolution

This is one where your mileage may vary, but ultimately, this was a bunch of barbed wire violence before the lamest ending you could imagine. It was like some sparklers going off in place of an explosion. Ignoring the total disaster of the ending, you had the carnage for the sake of carnage, all because AEW wanted to recreate some angle from Japan, down to Eddie Kingston trying to cover Moxley and selling the….well nothing really. This was bad on all fronts and is still somehow even worse than I remember.

News Story Of The Year

5. NXT Gets Its Own Sequel
4. Ring Of Honor Hiatus
3. Huge Stars To AEW
2. Fans Return

1. WWE Releases

I don’t know how it could be anything else, as WWE did not so much take the roster apart but completely gutted the thing. Over the last year and a half, WWE has literally released over a hundred wrestlers. That isn’t just going to shake up the WWE, but also the wrestling world as a whole. In addition to weakening the WWE roster, it opened up the flood gates to all kinds of other promotions. Several wrestlers have since moved elsewhere, which has made some other companies that much more interesting. This was a game changer, and the amazing part is it might not be done yet.

Feud Of The Year

5. Roman Reigns vs. Edge
4. Pinnacle vs. Inner Circle
3. Edge vs. Seth Rollins
2. Kenny Omega vs. Hangman Page

1. Roman Reigns vs. John Cena

This might have been short, but what mattered was how big this felt. That’s the kind of thing you don’t get to see very often, but Cena can make it work so well. Above all else, this felt like a feud that belonged in the main event of one of biggest shows of the year. Then the match wound up working too, which shouldn’t be a surprise. It wasn’t long, but Reigns defeated Cena in a huge main event and it felt like a showdown.

Title Reign Of The Year

5. Bianca Belair – Smackdown Women’s Title
4. Young Bucks – AEW Tag Team Titles
3. Bobby Lashley – WWE Championship
2. Kenny Omega – AEW World Title

1. Roman Reigns – Universal Title

The words “of the year” apply here, because Reigns was champion for the entire year. That is not something you get to see very often but it has been pretty incredible for a very long time now. Reigns comes off as the biggest star in all of wrestling and has been bringing people up just by association. This was an easy pick to make, because holding the title for a year is hard to fathom back in the day, let alone modern times.

Daily News Update – January 20, 2022

Make sure you check out some recent reviews:

Royal Rumble 2007 (2018 Redo)

Royal Rumble 2008 (2021 Redo)

Royal Rumble 2009 (2013 Redo)

Royal Rumble 2010 (2013 Redo)

NXT – January 18, 2022

Dynamite – January 19, 2022

WWE Monday Night Raw And NXT Moving Around Next Month.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wwe-monday-night-raw-nxt-moving-around-next-month/

WRESTLING RUMORS: Bad News For Finn Balor’s WWE Future.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wrestling-rumors-bad-news-finn-balors-wwe-future/

Internal Push For WWE To Sign Former Ring Of Honor Champion.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/internal-push-wwe-sign-former-ring-honor-star/

Not So Bad: Update On Cody Rhodes’ AEW Contract Status.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/not-bad-update-cody-rhodes-aew-contract-status/

Hi There: Two Stars Return This Week On NXT.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/hi-two-stars-return-week-nxt/

Alexa Bliss Responds To Fan Criticisms Of Monday Night Raw Segments.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/alexa-bliss-responds-fan-criticisms-monday-night-raw-segments/

Teased WrestleMania 38 Main Event May Not Happen As Planned.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/teased-wrestlemania-38-main-event-may-not-happen-planned/

Walter Seems To Unveil New Name With Controversial History.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/walter-seems-unveil-new-name-controversial-history/

Another AEW Star Tests Positive For Coronavirus.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/another-aew-star-tests-positive-coronavirus/

WWE Hall Of Famer Announced For New Celebrity Dancing Show.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wwe-hall-famer-announced-new-celebrity-dancing-show/

A Wrestling Promotion Is Changing From Live Action To Animation.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wrestling-promotion-changing-live-action-animation/

Wrestling Legend Reportedly Undergoes Heart Surgery Due To Coronavirus Complications.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wrestling-legend-reportedly-undergoes-heart-surgery-due-coronavirus-complications/

Randy Orton Explains How 20 Years Of RKOs Have Taken Their Toll.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/randy-orton-explains-20-years-rkos-made-impact/

Important Update On Controversial WWE Name Change.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/important-update-controversial-wwe-name-change/

Former NXT Champion’s Main Roster Debut Postponed For Simple Reason.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/former-nxt-champions-main-roster-debut-postponed-simple-reason/

VIDEO: Jon Moxley’s Amazing Return To AEW.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/video-jon-moxleys-amazing-return-aew/

As always, please check out all of the videos if you can, hit up the comments section and get on the Wrestling Rumors Facebook page.

Dynamite – January 19, 2022: Maybe Their Worst Ever

Dynamite
Date: January 19, 2022
Location: Entertainment & Sports Arena, Washington DC
Commentators: Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone

It’s a big night around here as we have the return of Jon Moxley after a nearly three month absence. Moxley has been out of action due to undergoing alcohol rehabilitation treatment and it is great to have him back. What matters most is that he is healthy and if that is the case, I’m glad he can be around here again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Jon Moxley to a hero’s welcome to get things going. Moxley gets in the ring and, after telling a fan “Go f*** yourself, get that piece of s*** out of here” (completely uncensored on the broadcast), Moxley talks about having a dream where a demon told him he would never make it. He has more scars on his body than most people and those are the things that tell our story. Those scars are the ones that tell us the story of who we are. Nobody is perfect and no one should be afraid to stand up and bare it all.

Everything that makes you the person you are, scars and all, should make you say THIS IS ME. If you want to write him off, he’ll tell you where to shove all that s***, just like he told that demon. For everyone who has supported him, thank you. He is going on a pilgrimage and do whatever he wants to the world of professional wrestling because he is truly free. No one here can put him through worse than he has been through and these days, all he drinks is blood. Well that was amazing, and one of the most emotional speeches you’ll see in a LONG time.

MJF talks about CM Punk needing to steal a win by using the hair and trunks last week to beat Wardlow (who could have escaped with a bit more experience). As for this week, it is Wardlow’s birthday and MJF offers him a sincere apology for losing it last week. Wardlow seems to appreciate that….but MJF is docking Wardlow’s pay for putting his hands on him. MJF moves on to Shawn Spears, who is going to hand PG Punk his first loss, while teaching Wardlow a lesson. The turn is going to be incredible when we finally get there.

Adam Cole/Britt Baker vs. Kris Statlander/Orange Cassidy

The women start but Baker tags out almost immediately. Then Cole tags out, meaning Statlander has to come back in. Hold on though as Cassidy does the lazy kicks, earning himself a stomp to the food. Statlander comes in to slam the posing Baker but it’s too early for the Big Bang Theory. It’s back to the men, meaning Cassidy can hit a tornado DDT to send Cole outside.

Back in and Statlander grabs a delayed vertical suplex on Baker, with Cassidy shoving it over. Cassidy hits a rather low dive on Cole before stopping for a pose, allowing Baker and Cole to superkick them down. A nice kiss sends us to a break and we come back with Cassidy taking Cole down.

The women come back in with Statlander hitting a Blue Thunder Bomb for her own two. A neckbreaker takes Statlander down though and it’s back to Cole for the superkick to Cassidy’s knee. Cole hits an enziguri but Stundog Millionaire gets Cassidy out of trouble. Baker comes in off the blind tag to break up Beach Break and Stomp Cassidy down. Statlander kicks her in the face and hits something like a Falcon Arrow for two.

Area 451 is loaded up but Cole covers Baker….which is fine with Statlander, who splashes both of them. The Beach Break hits Cole for two but he superkicks a dive out of the air. Baker takes Statlander to the ramp for a Canadian Destroyer, leaving Cole to Panama Sunrise Cassidy for two. With nothing else working, Cole loads up a table at ringside (because we need tables), only to have Cassidy accidentally knock Baker through it. Cole is livid and it’s a low blow into the Boom for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: C+. That’s it for the feud right? There is no reason for Cole and Cassidy to feud any longer and hopefully we can move on and let Cole do something more important. The match was your usual AEW match with big kickouts and went on a bit longer than necessary, but it did have the entertaining bits that you would expect.

Chris Jericho tells Eddie Kingston to GFY but Santana and Ortiz don’t like him talking about Kingston that way. Actually, when has Jericho even had their back? Maybe next week, they can prove that they don’t need Jericho. That seems to shake Jericho a bit.

Adam Cole is sick of Orange Cassidy. He has beaten Cassidy every way he can, but now Cassidy is attacking Baker? Next week, it can be No DQ, anything goes, lights out. It might not be a good idea to point out that you have beaten the guy over and over before challenging him to another match. And great, ANOTHER hardcore match.

CM Punk vs. Shawn Spears

MJF is on commentary as the GTS finishes Spears at 12 seconds. Much like last week: that’s how I like my Spears matches.

Post match Punk poses so MJF tries to sneak in, only to have Punk jump in his face. Punk grabs the scarf but MJF bails from the threat of a right hand.

Billy Gunn stops Christian Cage in the back and says his sons have earned a Tag Team Title shot against Cage’s friends, the Jurassic Express. Cage says make a statement and they’ll talk. Cue the Gunn Club to jump Christian and send him head first into the steel door. Billy as a mouthpiece for his kids is a completely acceptable idea and an upgrade over what he has been doing.

Here is Cody Rhodes, with a huge ladder in the ring. Rhodes talks about CM Punk’s pipe bomb, which was the beginning of a revolution. Some of the things Punk were saying were the blueprint for what AEW would do. After pausing for some negative chants, Cody talks about how Punk made the comeback of the decade and we are all living it. Cody starts yelling about how he carried the revolution and since “you ask me why I won’t turn heel”, it’s because they cheered him when he needed it the most.

There are industry journalists who talk about opening the forbidden door…and now let’s talk about how ReDRagon passed hiptoss class. There are wrestlers elsewhere named Gunner McGillcutty or whatever it is but then he was gone for two weeks and there is an Interim TNT Title. Fans have been taught to believe that any title without the word World in it doesn’t matter.

That’s why he wants to face Sammy Guevara in a ladder match at Beach Break for the undisputed title. I got the gist of what Cody was saying here, but this was all over the place with one idea after another thrown out there but he kept moving on before getting to the point. The ladder match (because this company loves ladder matches) is a fine way to unify the titles, but this was a rambling mess of an insider/shoot promo and it was all about Cody, again, without making much sense until the end.

Jade Cargill has issued an open challenge for the TBS Title and Anna Jay is ready to accept it. Jay talks about the hardcore match from a few weeks ago to show she’s ready.

Kings of the Black Throne vs. Varsity Blonds

Brody shoves Garrison around to start and sends him outside, meaning it’s off to Pillman. That doesn’t work though as Pillman won’t try Air Pillman. Instead he drops outside to talk to Garrison, who is driven into the steps. Back in and Black sweeps Pillman’s leg so Garrison can hit a backsplash. Garrison is taken out again and Dante’s Inferno finishes Pillman at 1:48.

Post match Black tells the House of Black to rise but Pac, still blind, pops up on screen to say he is beyond Black’s reach.

Video on Lance Archer vs. Hangman Page, with Jake Roberts returning to say Archer is ready for Page.

Roppongi Vice steals Brandon Cutler to challenge the Young Bucks to a match on Rampage. They beat the Bucks in Japan once so they can do it again. Cutler thinks the Bucks are going to kill him. Romero: “Then turn the camera off bro.”

Lance Archer vs. Frankie Kazarian

Jake Roberts and Dan Lambert are in Archer’s corner. Archer hammers him down before the bell and then stands on Kazarian’s neck. The beating continues with Archer slowly pounding away as Kazarian can’t get anything going. Kazarian gets dropped again and again and we take a break.

We come back with Archer loudly saying “F*** YOU” (seemingly to a fan) and sending Kazarian chest first into the buckle. The Blackout is broken up with Kazarian finally getting in a little something. That doesn’t work for Archer though and he chokeslams Kazarian down as this is going WAY too long. Archer finally finishes with the Blackout at 10:01.

Rating: D. This was a bad miss, as Archer didn’t look like a monster but rather a guy lumbering around and (very) slowly beating Kazarian down. I don’t know if they were told to fill in time or what, but they took what should have been a three minute match and stretched it way further than it needed to be. This doesn’t make me want to see Archer vs. Page, but rather seeing a big audible call.

Post match, Dan Lambert goes on another cowboy rant against Hangman Page, but Archer cuts him off because he’s sick of this s*** (as we have even more swearing, which isn’t as edgy as AEW seems to think it is). Archer loads up a chokeslam off the ramp but here is Hangman Page for the save. Page gets kneed down so he pulls off his cowboy boot to blast Archer in the head. The Buckshot Lariat is blocked so Page forearms him out to the floor. Page stands tall.

Dante Martin is ready for Team Taz, with Lee Moriarty and Matt Sydal having his back until his brother gets back.

Ricky Starks and Powerhouse Hobbs are going to prove Martin is all alone because he’ll need someone to watch every side.

Leyla Hirsch breaks up a Red Velvet/Kris Statlander interview to complain about their loss on Friday. Velvet says it was miscommunication and gets her arm barred as a result.

Serena Deeb vs. Skye Blue

Deeb takes her down to start and sends Blue to the apron to keep up the beating. Back in and some uppercuts to the back of the heck set up a fisherman’s neckbreaker. The Serenity Lock finishes Blue at 2:50. I can absolutely go for more of this Deeb.

Ethan Page wants a big match on Rampage and tells Tony Khan to put the franchise player in.

On Rampage: Ethan Page vs. Jon Moxley, plus Roppongi Vice vs. the Young Bucks. We get some New Japan footage of their previous matches.

Video on Hook.

Matt Hardy has signed Andrade El Idolo 51% of the Hardy Family Office but he is still in charge of the board of directors. Andrade will be the president though, and they are now the AHFO. Now, they want Darby Allin. I’ll take them combining some of their more boring acts into one.

Acclaimed vs. Darby Allin/Sting

Caster’s rap promises to make this worse than Starrcade 97 so you know it’s serious. The Acclaimed jump them before the bell as Tony says he still can’t explain Starrcade 1997. A chair is wrapped around Allin’s neck and Caster whips it into the post. Sting is back up as medics check on Allin but he’s willing to fight on his own. Sting takes the Acclaimed down to start but the Stinger Splash hits an exposed buckle, giving Bowens two.

We take a break and come back with Sting putting Caster in the Deathlock. Bowens hits a discus forearm but Sting yells and doesn’t let go. A superkick breaks it up but Allin comes back in to make the save. Allin gets taken down again so the Mic Drop can give Caster two. Sting backdrops Bowens over the top and splashes Caster through a table at ringside. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” I don’t think YOU STILL GOT IT is a term that applies to something that Sting rarely did, but fair enough. The Coffin Drop finishes Bowens at 9:20.

Rating: C+. Sting matches are all smoke and mirrors, but dang they’re fun smoke and mirrors. They aren’t doing anything too bad and the fans’ reactions alone carry the matches to another level. That being said, Sting and Allin have to be close to being #1 contenders right? They’re undefeated and just beat the #1 contenders, so shouldn’t their title shot be coming soon? That’s not a bad thing, but it should be addressed.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure what happened tonight but this might have been the biggest miss Dynamite has had to date. There were good parts to it (Gunn being moved into a manager role (at least for now), Deeb’s squash, the main event, Spears going short again and King/Black’s debut) but the rest was a bit of a mess. It felt like they didn’t have a plan tonight and it was kind of all over the place.

The biggest standout part was the Cody promo, which started and ended well but took a right turn into lala land in the middle. I still don’t know what he was trying to say with a lot of that and it was one of the bigger head scratchers in recent memory. In addition, you have Cole saying that he has done everything he can to Cassidy, including pinning him tonight, but now we’re going to do it AGAIN, and this time in a hardcore match.

That is where AEW is starting to slip a bit for me, as it feels like they are trying to be a modern day ECW. Between the constant hardcore based matches (I believe Cole vs. Cassidy makes three since December 31), the table spots (two tonight) and ALL THE SWEARING, it feels like they are trying to push the envelope for the sake of pushing the envelope. When you do that kind of thing all the time, the impact goes away very fast and that is what they are doing now. Just pull it back a bit and save that stuff for when it matters, not whenever you can throw it out.

Overall, this show just did not feel like AEW quality. Dynamite has been good to excellent most of the time but they have been missing a bit in recent weeks. I don’t know if that is due to some kind of Covid deal shaking things up backstage or something else, but the shows have not been the best as of late. Maybe they need to change something backstage, because this is starting to trend in a bad direction.

Results
Adam Cole/Britt Baker b. Orange Cassidy/Kris Statlander – Boom to Cassidy
CM Punk b. Shawn Spears – GTS
Kings of the Black Throne b. Varsity Blonds – Dante’s Inferno to Pillman
Lance Archer b. Frankie Kazarian – Blackout
Serena Deeb b. Skye Blue – Serenity Lock
Sting/Darby Allin b. Acclaimed – Coffin Drop to Bowens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

NXT – January 18, 2022: Main Roster Edition

NXT
Date: January 18, 2022
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Wade Barrett

It’s a new era in NXT as we have a new monster around here. Walter is making his full time debut this week, as he is scheduled to face Roderick Strong. Other than that we have the fallout of the return of LA Knight to deal with Grayson Waller. Now if only they can avoid doing some dumb things. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

LA Knight arrives and tells some people to watch what he does in the ring. That brings Knight to the arena and he wants to talk to us. He also wants Grayson Waller out here right now so they can finish what they started last week. With Waller not showing up, Knight recaps everything that got us here, including a few weeks ago when a good looking woman picked Knight over Waller.

Cue Waller, and he has a restraining order. Waller: “If you come within fifty feet of me, you get arrested, YEAH!”. Knight thinks this is pitiful even for Waller, but he knows someone who doesn’t have a restraining order against them. Cue Dexter Lumis, and Waller gets to pick which one he fights.

Grayson Waller vs. Dexter Lumis

Joined in progress with Lumis in control, including dropping a leg. Waller gets in a shot of his own for a breather but gets dropped again without much trouble. Lumis hits a neckbreaker to put Waller down, then hits a neckbreaker to put Waller down, followed by a neckbreaker to put Waller down.

Using WWF War Zone rules, Waller fights back and knocks Lumis outside for a running clothesline. We take a break and come back with Lumis fighting out of an armbar and taking it to the floor. Waller manages to get inside…and here is a large man to send Lumis into the barricade. Back in and Waller’s Stunner finishes at 10:03.

Rating: C-. The Waller push continues as Knight is still stuck in NXT to make him look good. On the plus side, at least Waller has some muscle to beat people up, because this company doesn’t have enough enforcer characters just yet. Waller needed the win after last week so this does make sense, even if I’d rather have Knight on Raw every week.

Malcolm Bivens is hyping up the Creed Brothers but Walter comes in to get in his face. Roderick Strong pops in to say he isn’t afraid of Walter. A match seems to be set.

Video on the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic, complete with a look at the teams and the brackets:

MSK
Jacket Time

Malik Blade/Edris Enofe
Legado del Fantasma

Josh Briggs/Brooks Jensen
Creed Brothers

Grizzled Young Veterans
Andre Chase/Bodhi Hayward

MSK is ready for the Dusty Classic but Legado del Fantasma comes in to say if MSK beats Jacket Time, they’ll be losing to Legado. MSK doesn’t seem impressed.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic First Round: Josh Briggs/Brooks Jensen vs. Creed Brothers

Brutus takes Briggs down to start but gets hit in the face so hard that his mouthpiece comes out. A double slam puts Brutus down again and it’s Jensen coming in to work on an armbar. Brutus takes Jensen into the corner though and it’s off to Julius coming in to wrestle down. A chinlock sets up a spinebuster to plant Briggs and Brutus suplexes Julius onto him for a crash. Briggs fights up and drives Julius into the corner so the hot tag can brings in Jensen. The chokeslam gets two on Brutus with Julius making the save. Everything breaks down and Jensen is fed into a torture rack slam. Julius’ sliding lariat finishes Jensen at 5:42.

Rating: C. These are two of the teams who have been established over the last few months and the better one moves on in the tournament. That’s about all you could ask for and now the Brothers are probably the favorites to win the tournament. Granted they won’t, but at least they have started moving forward.

Dante Chen (he’s still from Singapore) is back and ready. His father has passed away since we last saw him around here and it is motivating him even more.

Imperium, through subtitles, is ready to dominate.

Dante Chen vs. Guru Raaj

They show some respect to start and head outside….where Duke Hudson jumps both of them for the double DQ at 58 seconds.

Hudson beats Chen up and says stay out of his way.

Joe Gacy says he and Harland could be in the tournament but Harland lost his temper. Cue Odyssey Jones, on crutches, to say that’s nonsense. Gacy thanks him for his feedback and opens the door so Jones can walk through it. Gacy wants Harland to think about things.

Bron Breakker knows everyone, including a great performer like Santos Escobar is coming for him. Elektra Lopez comes up to praise Breakker but he isn’t buying it. Escobar comes in to say Breakker isn’t ready for this level. He’s coming for the title so Breakker is ready to fight, only to have Escobar back off.

It’s time for Tony D’Angelo to present the Pete Dunne Memorial Service. Dunne needed to be taught a lesson and that was done by any means necessary. It’s a closed casket service, because no one wants to see Dunner after he took a crowbar to the face. D’Angelo is on to bigger and better things though, like the North American Title.

As luck would have it, Carmelo Hayes and Trick Williams pop up on the balcony, saying don’t say that. D’Angelo threatens them with members of the family, but Williams says they know all about them, like Ben & Jerry, Larry, Curly and Mo. Not that it matters, as they all look like Vic Joseph.

Violence is threatened but here is Cameron Grimes to say D’Angelo is going to have to go to the back of the line. He challenged Hayes last week, but all he got back was a call from Orlando Car Rentals. Hayes and Williams insist that it’s THEIR car and not a rental. Hayes says Grimes and D’Angelo can fight for the title shot (maybe) so D’Angelo jumps him, only to get Dunne’s portrait smashed over his head.

Brooks Jensen and Josh Briggs say they’ll be ok but here are Kacy Catanzaro and Kayden Carter to say they all need to go out for some drinks. Wendi Choo is on top of the lockers, saying the guys like them. Briggs starts babbling and hints that he likes Jensen more, sending the girls off on their own. Choo might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen in wrestling.

Video on Valentina Feroz/Yulisa Leon. Feroz has a martial arts background and Feroz won weightlifting championships.

Leon and Feroz are ready to win but Dakota Kai comes in to say success ruins friendships. The team isn’t impressed and walks away.

Kay Lee Ray vs. Ivy Nile

Nile rolls her up to start and grabs a quickly broken top wristlock. Nile takes her down again and grabs a headscissors, with Ray not being able to power out. Some spinning does get her out though and it’s a gordbuster to drop Nile again. Back up and Nile wraps her leg around Ray’s head, setting up a DDT (that’s a new one). Ray fights up again but here is Mandy Rose for a distraction, allowing Nile to counter the KLR Bomb into a rollup for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: C. I can go for Nile getting a win but Ray losing isn’t the best sign. It’s bad enough that she is going to have to tone it way down for the sake of Mandy Rose, but she has to lose too? Ray is someone else who seems like she could be moved up to the main roster almost immediately, but it would be nice if she could do something down here first.

Post match the fight is on, with the rest of Toxic Attraction coming in to take Ray out. Persia Pirotta and Indi Hartwell run in for the save and take out the champs, with Ray getting up for a superkick of her own.

Harland has attacked Odyssey Jones.

Sarray talks about how her first year here wasn’t great, but now she has found a necklace her grandmother gave her. Now she is ready to return better than ever. This is the second person in an hour making a return after being inspired by something involving a family member.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic First Round: Malik Blade/Edris Enofe vs. Legado del Fantasma

The rest of Legado is here too. Blade takes Wilde does to start and Enofe hits a standing moonsault for two. A headlock has Wilde in trouble but Mendoza comes in off a blind tag and it’s a double spinebuster to put Enofe down. The double teaming continues but Enofe gets over for the tag to Blade. Santos Escobar grabs a leg and gets ejected, with Bron Breakker coming in to carry him off. The distraction lets Blade grab a rollup for the fluke pin at 3:14.

Rating: C-. That is your second match in a row to end with a distraction rollup as NXT continues to feel more and more like the main roster shows from a few years back. I can go for the surprise, though it wasn’t quite shocking after what Legado was saying earlier. They telegraphed this fairly badly, but at least they are giving someone else a little something.

Malcolm Bivens says Roderick Strong is ready for Walter. The mat isn’t sacred, but rather a way to make them money, so they can get the deluxe apartment in the sky. Dang it now the theme song is going to be stuck in my head.

Solo Sikoa is mad at Boa for burning him with a fireball and revenge is promised.

Dakota Kai vs. Yulisa Leon

Valentina Feroz is here with Leon. Kai knocks her into the corner and hammers on Leon, setting up the running kick to the face for one. They head outside where a Feroz distraction lets Leon take over with clotheslines and a gutwrench suplex. A tabletop suplex gets two on Kai but she’s back up with a kick to the face for the pin at 4:03.

Rating: C-. Build people up, have them lose an hour later. That’s how things work in WWE and I can’t say I’m even a bit surprised these days. Kai needed to be rebuilt a bit here so at least the win makes sense, but maybe they shouldn’t have tried to turn Leon and Feroz into a thing earlier in the same show.

Post match Kai goes after Feroz but Leon makes the save.

Raquel Gonzalez is ready to move on but Cora Jade comes up to offer an alliance. Gonzalez is good though and leaves.

Malik Blade and Edris Enofe are fired up over their win. Bron Breakker comes in to say good job and go win that cup.

Here’s what’s coming next week, including a musical performance.

Walter vs. Roderick Strong

Feeling out process to start with Walter taking him down by the arm. Back up and Walter misses a chop, allowing Strong’s chop….to be easily blocked. Now the real chop can connect to knock Strong silly and a big boot makes it even worse. Walter grabs Bivens but gets his leg taken out, allowing Strong to hits a baseball slide through the ropes. That earns him a belly to back drop onto the apron and we take a break.

Back with Walter running him over but getting caught in the ropes so Strong can hit his running shots to the face. Walter knocks him down but gets caught on top, meaning it’s a top rope superplex for two. They strike it out with Strong getting the better of things, only to get blasts with a clothesline. Walter powers out of a double underhook and hits a kind of Beach Break. The powerbomb plants Strong for the pin at 12:16.

Rating: B. I’m as shocked as you are that these two had the match of the night by a few miles. These two beat each other up until Walter got a win over one of the bigger names remaining around here. I don’t know what Walter is going to do around here and it would be nice (in theory) to see him on the main roster, but for now I’ll take him stealing the show whenever he is around.

Post match Walter declares himself the winner, drawing in Imperium for the beatdown. The Creed Brothers come in and it’s a big brawl to end the show. Sweet goodness I don’t remember the last time I saw one of those on a WWE show but well done.

Overall Rating: C. This show had to be saved by Walter, as he and Strong were the only things that you needed to see on here. The rest of the show felt like a bunch of leftover ideas from Raw and that shouldn’t be a surprise given who is now in charge. Now it’s bad booking tropes with developmental wrestlers, making this quite the weak show to watch at times. Just be glad for Walter before they screw him up too.

Results
Grayson Waller b. Dexter Lumis – Stunner
Creed Brothers b. Josh Briggs/Brooks Jensen – Sliding lariat to Jensen
Dante Chen vs. Guru Raaj went to a double DQ when Duke Hudson interfered
Ivy Nile b. Kay Lee Ray – Rollup
Edris Enofe/Malik Blade b. Legado de Fantasma – Rollup to Wilde
Dakota Kai b. Yulisa Leon – Running boot to the face
Walter b. Roderick Strong – Powerbomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2010 (2013 Redo): The Surprise Surprise

Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 16,697
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

The opening video is about the Road to Wrestlemania is beginning and how it determines what happens for months to come. This is called the most star studded Rumble ever, which is a tagline that has been used before.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

The springboard plancha takes Jackson out and we head back in. Christian finally gets caught in the corner and pounded on before having the Killswitch easily blocked. Instead Christian chokes away on the ropes and hits another shot to the face. Jackson throws Christian to the floor where Regal tries to throw him back in, earning himself an ejection. Off to a neck crank back inside which Jackson picks up into a kind of cobra clutch slam for two.

US Title: The Miz vs. MVP

After that eats up some time, MVP pounds away with all of his usual stuff. Ballin hits and a running boot to the side of the head gets two for the challenger. A big shoulder block gets the same for MVP but he misses a running boot in the corner. MVP grabs three straight quick near falls but gets caught in a small package for the pin to keep the title on Miz.

Post match MVP hits the Playmaker on Miz and gets booed LOUDLY. He lost completely clean so the booing is deserved.

The National Guard is here.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Post match Orton snaps on Cody as DiBiase comes down to save his partner. While Orton yells at Cody in the corner, Sheamus comes back in and lays out Randy with a Brogue Kick.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker

Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.

Rumble by the Numbers time:

23 Winners

627 entrants eliminated

36 eliminations by Austin

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001

2002 was the last Rumble in Atlanta

62:12 Rey was in the Rumble in 2006

2 seconds was the record for 20 years until Santino broke it last year

3 wins for Austin

2 win for #1, the same as #30

70% of the winners win at Mania

Royal Rumble

Rhodes is #13 and saves Ted as he comes in. Morrison is sent to the apron and springboards back in, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Legacy goes after Kane but HHH saves him for no apparent reason. Cody saves himself from being eliminated and MVP is #14. Miz runs up behind him though and blasts MVP with the US Title. Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on McIntyre to break up the Future Shock on Kane. HHH is in trouble in the corner and MVP is carried to the back.

HHH starts laying out everyone and Shawn is #18. Carlito is backdropped out, Rhodes and DiBiase are tossed, Morrison gets dumped, and DX puts out McIntyre to get us down to DX. Before anything can happen though, Cena is #19 to get us to the final third of the match. Cena cleans house and hits a double Shuffle before getting caught in the Pedigree. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks HHH out to pop the crowd BIG.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Miz vs. MVP

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

Dang I liked Sheamus a lot more than I thought I did.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/29/royal-rumble-count-up-2010-one-of-the-best-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2009 (2013 Redo): The Stable Winner

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2007 (2018 Redo): Someone Had To Do It

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This one has had an interesting build with the Royal Rumble itself only getting a quick build a the end. That being said, this is the kind of show that doesn’t really need to have anything set up for the main event to work, so it actually works for a change. We also have Batista defending the Smackdown Title against Mr. Kennedy and John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Umaga in a Last Man Standing match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Rumble itself, including some classic winners. This year’s card gets some attention of its own.

Hardys vs. MNM

Melina is here with MNM (hence why it isn’t NM or MN) and this is about revenge after Matt Hardy destroyed Joey Mercury’s nose at Armageddon. An early Mercury distraction lets Nitro get in a cheap shot on Matt and the alternating beatdown is on in the corner. Matt isn’t having any of that and comes back to bring Jeff in. Nitro kicks him down as well but it’s an atomic drop into the legdrop between the legs to give Jeff two.

Mercury tries to come in but gets suplexed down but Nitro gets in a right hand to Matt’s jaw to take over. The cravats holds Matt in place and Mercury adds a shot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock from Mercury but he misses a middle rope elbow. That’s enough to bring Jeff back in to pick up the pace, including the Whisper in the Wind for two on Nitro. A double suplex puts Nitro down to set up the legdrop/splash combo, but the raised knees put Jeff in trouble.

The waistlock holds Jeff down and a double gutbuster makes it even worse. Nitro grabs a bodyscissors with a chinlock before switching to a front facelock. Jeff manages to fight over, but, of course, the referee doesn’t see the tag (it’s amazing how consistently inconsistent these referees can be). Back up and Jeff manages the mule kick to bring Matt in for the real house cleaning. A middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two on Nitro as everything breaks down. The Twist of Fate hits Nitro and, with Matt driving Mercury outside, the Swanton gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid tag match here and that shouldn’t be a surprise given who was in there. They didn’t do anything overly complicated or flashy here but what mattered was they did things well enough to make it work.

Teddy Long and Jonathan Coachman are in the back to keep an eye on the Royal Rumble drawings with Kelly Kelly there to turn the tumbler. Edge comes in to mock her a bit but here’s Randy Orton to say he tossed Edge over the top last week. They both draw and Orton says “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” King Booker comes in to tell Orton to say he didn’t just say that. Eh kind of funny.

Video on Test, who lost to Bobby Lashley on ECW in a non-title match.

ECW World Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and this doesn’t make sense after watching ECW either. Test powers him into the corner to start so Lashley hits a spear, sending Test straight to the ropes for some safety. A t-bone suplex sends Test outside where he manages to post Lashley to take over. Back in and we hit the chickenwing, followed by an armbar to stay on the bad arm. Lashley tries to fight up for the comeback but the arm gives out on the gorilla press attempt. The TKO is countered though and an overhead belly to belly suplex sends Test flying. It’s enough to make Test walk out for the countout.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse power matches but we just went from Lashley beating him clean on ECW to winning via countout here. I’m not sure what is next for Lashley, but this was quite the waste of time. They really can’t have Lashley pin Test twice in a week? Test has to be even remotely protected on this stage?

Lashley beats Test up again post match.

John Cena is banged up when Vince McMahon comes in to mock him for having an abdominal injury. Cena won’t vacate the title, but Vince can’t see him….as champion after tonight.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Kennedy won a Beat The Clock Challenge to win the title shot, but he has also made Undertaker want to kill him. Kennedy has beaten a bunch of World Champions so now it’s time to become one himself.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is challenging and gets thrown down a few times to start. That’s broken up in a hurry as Kennedy grabs a rollup for two. Batista’s suplex gets two and it’s already time to head outside. Kennedy sends him back first into the steps but Batista is right back inside with some shots to the face. We go intelligent with Kennedy attacking the knee to slow Batista down. There’s a cannonball down onto the knee for two, setting up something like a reverse Figure Four.

The rope is grabbed and Kennedy’s nose was busted open somewhere in there. Another kick to the leg gets two and Kennedy grabs a half crab. Batista powers out and snaps off the spinebuster, only to bang up the knee even more. The Batista Bomb is countered with another shot to the knee, causing Batista to bump the referee. Kennedy hits a DDT a delayed two so frustration sets in. That’s enough for Kennedy to go up, only to get clotheslined out of the air. Now the Batista Bomb can retain the title.

Rating: C. This felt like a house show main event and that isn’t the worst thing. Kennedy is someone who is going to steal most of the wins he gets and it would be a bit much to believe that he is going to beat Batista in a straight match. The leg thing was fine and the match wasn’t bad, but it was the definition of the Royal Rumble throwaway title shot.

Batista poses for a good bit.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn think their Royal Rumble number is in the cards. The Leprechaun comes in and growls a lot while picking. Coach hopes it isn’t a small number and gets bitten n the ear. Then the Leprechaun meets Great Khali and runs off, leaving Khali to draw three numbers. Kelly picks up the two that Khali drops and Ron Simmons comes in for the joke.

We recap John Cena vs. Umaga. Cena gave him his first loss in a miracle win at New Year’s Revolution so now it’s a Last Man Standing match so Cena can’t escape with a win. Umaga crushed Cena’s ribs on Raw so Cena is very banged up coming in.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada, is challenging and this is Last Man Standing. They stare each other down to start and Cena slugs away to little avail. Instead it’s a shot to the bad ribs to put Cena down on the floor as the beating begins. Cena is sent hard into the steps and Umaga shrugs off being rammed face first into the apron. Back in and Umaga hits him with a heck of a clothesline and it’s time to bring in the steps as Cena pulls himself up.

Somehow Cena manages to pick the tosses them down onto Umaga for a nasty/scary crash. A bearhug into a belly to belly lets Umaga grab more steps, which are stood up in the corner. The running Umaga attack only hits steps though and Cena hits him in the face with the steps for a seven. Cena’s high crossbody is countered into the spinning release Rock Bottom and Umaga goes simple by sitting on his chest.

Another attempt is countered with some raised knees though and Cena plants him onto the steps for a breather. The Shuffle, with Umaga still on the steps, connects but an FU attempt collapses with both of them landing on the steps. Cena is busted open so Umaga hammers away, triggering whatever Cena calls Hulking Up. Since Umaga isn’t an 80s monster, he grabs a Samoan drop to plant Cena again. The Samoan Spike is blocked so Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe.

The running headbutt misses though and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser. One heck of a TV monitor shot to the head gives Cena eight so he knocks Umaga outside. That’s fine with Umaga, who posts Cena hard. With Cena laid down on the ECW announcers’ table, Umaga gets a running start and splashes….well only the table actually. Umaga is back up at nine and runs Cena over again as Estrada unhooks the top rope. A charging turnbuckle shot gets countered into an FU and Cena grabs the STFU with the rope wrapped around Umaga’s throat to put him out and retain.

Rating: A-. This is a heck of a fight and an underrated Cena classic. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it was a mixture of Cena fighting with power, surviving until he had an opening and then getting smart. I liked this a lot and it’s definitely worth a look if you want to see two big, strong men fighting each other for a long time in one of the better Last Man Standing matches.

Sandman has a beer and picks one of the last two numbers. Ric Flair comes in, picks the last number, and gets hit on by Kelly Kelly. The rest of Extreme Expose comes in and dances with Flair…who leaves so the three of them can dance by themselves.

History package on the Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Ric Flair in at #1 (Flair was in five Rumbles and entered #1 twice, #3, #5 and #30. That is downright amazing luck) and Finlay in at #2 for a match which would only happen once in a singles match. Finlay shoulders him down to start and shrugs off some shots to the face to set up a backdrop. It’s too early to toss Flair out so he strikes away until Kenny Dykstra is in at #3. That means a double teaming on Flair but the alliance lasts all of five seconds (a long time in the Rumble) and everyone brawls again.

Matt Hardy is in at #4 to go after Dykstra before switching off to Finlay. Edge is in at #5 to pick up the pace but gets taken down in a hurry. Flair goes for some chairs for the sake of revenge but gets tossed out by Edge. Dykstra is out as well and it’s Tommy Dreamer in at #6. Matt can’t get rid of Edge and Dreamer can’t get rid of Finlay either. Sabu is in at #7 and goes for a table instead of getting inside. He finally does get in for a springboard tornado DDT to Dreamer as Gregory Helms (and his song says so) is in at #8. Helms almost eliminates Hardy and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Hardy has to avoid being sent through the table at ringside before trying to do the same to Benjamin. Kane is in at #10 and gets rid of Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through a table. With the two of them gone, we have Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Helms, Benjamin and Kane. CM Punk is in at #11 and goes after Edge to little avail thanks to a save from Finlay. King Booker is in at #12 and Helms is tossed out in a hurry. Brawling ensues and it’s Super Crazy in at #13.

Kane starts cleaning house again and Booker teases throwing Finlay out, with Finlay circling back to the middle of the ring in a smart move. Jeff Hardy is in at #14 so the Hardys get together for some shots on various people. Poetry In Motion hits Kane and it’s the Sandman in at #15. The entrance takes a good while and the cane shots about….until Booker tosses him in less than fifteen seconds. Randy Orton is in at #16 and I think we have a focal point of the match.

Rated-RKO get rid of Crazy and then toss the Hardys without much trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #17 and it’s time to German suplex a bunch of people. Rob Van Dam is in at #18 as the star power is pretty high at the moment. Van Dam kicks Booker in the face and Kane tosses him out, only to have Booker come back in and toss Kane as well. Cole: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” Speaking of ridiculous, Viscera is in at #19 as JBL and Cole argue about Booker coming back in to toss Kane.

Johnny Nitro is in at #20, giving us Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam, Viscera and Nitro. Benoit gets Benjamin about as close to out as you can but he hangs on by just part of one foot. Kevin Thorn is in at #21 and it’s more mindless brawling. Hardcore Holly is in at #22 as the ring is way too full. Everyone goes after Viscera and Shawn Michaels (the hometown boy) is in at #23 to knock Finlay out.

Everyone gets together to toss Viscera and Shawn dumps Benjamin as well. Chris Masters is in at #24 and Benoit knocks Nitro out. Chavo Guerrero is in at #25 as Benoit gets rid of Thorn. Van Dam goes up, looks around for someone to kick, and then gets back down. MVP is in at #26 and is promptly double teamed by Benoit and Michaels. Van Dam dropkicks Masters out and it’s Carlito in at #27, with Cole explaining the lucky history.

Some double teaming can’t get rid of Shawn and it’s Great Khali in at #28. Everyone gets ready for him and they are all knocked down, with only Holly being tossed. Miz is in at #29 (JBL: “Don’t worry King, I hate him too.”) and is out in about three seconds. Khali gets rid of Van Dam and Punk too, followed by Carlito and Guerrero. Shawn gets up to try Khali and is double chokeslammed down. Khali is the only one standing….and it’s the Undertaker in at #30 as the fans are WAY into it again. That leaves us with Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Undertaker.

The showdown is on with Undertaker winning a slugout and clotheslining Khali out to get us down to five. Old School (one of the dumbest things you can do in the Rumble) hits MVP and he is gone too, but he hands Orton a chair to blast Undertaker. Edge teases a spear to Orton but the chair scares him off. An RKO to Shawn puts him underneath the bottom rope so it’s time to double team the busted open Undertaker. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker hits the running corner clotheslines and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot to Edge.

Orton gets caught in the chokeslam with Edge breaking it up with a spear. Another chair shot to the head cuts Undertaker down so it’s time for the Conchairto. Shawn is back up though and backdrops Orton out, followed by a superkick to Edge to get us down to two. They’re both down so Undertaker sits up and Shawn nips up for an awesome visual as you can feel this one. Shawn hammers away in the corner but gets shoved away twice. Now it’s Undertaker’s turn to unload in the corner, setting up the upside down whip into the corner.

The big boot misses and Undertaker falls to the apron. Shawn’s running charge is cut off by an elbow and Undertaker gets back in, where Shawn catches him with a swinging neckbreaker. Cole calls them perhaps the two biggest stars in the history of WWE and I’ll ignore that one because this is pretty awesome. Undertaker lifts him out to the apron but Shawn goes up top, only to get punched in the face.

For some reason Undertaker goes up with him until Shawn knocks him back down. The top rope elbow hits Undertaker again but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a chokeslam. Shawn slips off the shoulder though and now Sweet Chin Music can connect to put both of them down. Another Sweet Chin Music is loaded up (ala how Shawn eliminated Diesel in 1996) but Undertaker ducks him to toss Shawn and win, making him the first #30 entrant to pull it off.

Rating: B-. The ending alone is enough to make this worth seeing as it’s probably the best ending ever to a Rumble. Other than that, you had a feeling where a lot of people could win and that’s one of the keys to a good Rumble. What isn’t a key to a good one is having that many people in the ring at once, which was the case multiple times here. The problem is getting to the ending, but that is some straight magic between two people who knew how to crank up the drama. You could go back and forth on the winner, but I’m a sucker for that final pairing.

Shawn looks crushed (and the fans seem to be as well) as Undertaker poses a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Much like the Rumble itself, the last part of the show (in this case the last two matches) are enough to make the show work, plus a rather good tag match and a watchable Kennedy vs. Batista match. The one part lacking is Lashley vs. Test, with all seven minutes of it being pretty bad. This was a rather good show, with a Cena vs. Umaga being an underrated classic.

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