Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

With Wrestlemania XLI in Las Vegas (or really close to it), WWE is looking back at this show in ways that have never been done before. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be some new appreciation for the show, as it’s not like anyone has ever really appreciated it before. It’s a double main event, though neither match is overly exciting. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the location more than anything else, with Bret Hart and Yokozuna on the side of a casino.

Host Gorilla Monsoon introduces the newest WWF broadcaster: Jim Ross, who is rather impressed by some of the Roman set. Or he hates it. You never can tell with Ross. Either way, he hypes up the double main event and it still sounds wrong to hear Ross talk about Hulk Hogan.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra, who come in on an elephant. After they do nothing (though the elephant does stand on its hind legs), Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan with some vestal virgins. Then Bobby Heenan, who was supposed to be on the sedan, comes out (backwards) on a camel. Naturally Heenan makes this work, because he can make just about anything work.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Luna Vachon, is defending after Tatanka, with Sherri (Shawn’s former manager) beat him a few times in non-title matches. Heenan says Sherri won’t be here in Tatanka’s corner. Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” They take their time to get going before Michael’s single leg doesn’t exactly work. Tatanka comes back up with a hammerlock but has to power out of a top wristlock.

A headlock takeover out of the corner gives Michaels two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a belly to back suplex. Michaels goes up but gets armdragged out of the air (cool), setting up a Flair Flip in the corner. Back in and Tatanka starts in on the arm with an armbar as commentary is thankfully right there to tell us about Michaels having a bad shoulder recently.

Michaels fights up but misses a charge into the post, setting up a shoulder breaker but Tatanka drops an elbow instead of covering (Savage is not pleased with the lack of a cover). A top rope chop hits Michaels so Tatanka goes up again, only to dive into the superkick for a sweet counter. They go outside where Michaels hits a hard clothesline off the apron, allowing him to flirt with Sherri for a bit.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by some rapid fire lefts in the corner. For some reason Michaels climbs onto Tatanka’s shoulders and that’s good for an electric chair. Back up and the superkick is blocked, allowing Tatanka to fire off some chops. Even Heenan is getting on Tatanka for not covering so a high crossbody gives Tatanka two.

Michaels gets in a knockdown of his own and goes up but gets powerslammed out of the air for a big crash. They fight to the floor, where Michaels misses a dive off the apron for a nasty crash. That doesn’t work for Michaels, who pulls the referee out to break up the countout, which is a DQ at 18:23.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end as they were just trading big shots. Tatanka was staying a step or two ahead of Michaels the whole way and if Michaels wasn’t such a big deal at this point, changing the title would not have been crazy. That being said, Michaels was clearly the prospect of the future here and protecting him made sense. Good opener here, which doesn’t feel nearly that long.

Post match Tatanka celebrates but Vachon jumps Sherri, leaving Tatanka to chase her off.

The Steiner Brothers are ready to face the Headshrinkers in their first Wrestlemania.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. JR debuts the term “slobberknocker”, which has Heenan right there with the jokes. Scott armdrags Fatu to start and goes after the armbar. Fatu isn’t having that and they slug it out, which is of course fine with Scott. A clothesline turns Fatu inside out so he goes to the eyes to cut Scott off. Rick tries to cut off some double teaming but gets dropped with a single right hand in something you don’t see very often.

The Headshrinkers make the mistake of turning their backs on the Steiners, who go up top (same buckle) and come off with a double Steiner Line (that was awesome). Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri in the First Aid station as it’s off to Rick, who gets chopped down by Samu. Scott comes back in and starts slugging away but gets caught in a hot shot, which goes a bit too hard and he crashes out to the floor.

Afa BLASTS Scott with his stick and they go back inside, where Fatu hits a middle rope headbutt. Something like a bulldog puts Scott down again, as does a standing dropkick from Samu. A Demolition Decapitator (minus the rope walk) gets two but Fatu misses a top rope headbutt. It’s back to Rick, who is taken down with a double Stroke. An electric chair is loaded up but Rick powerslams Fatu out of the air (GEEZ) for two in an awesome looking counter. Scott is back in with a belly to belly but Samu snaps off a great looking superkick. Back up and a quick Frankensteiner gives Scott the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. The more I watch this match, the more I like it, as you had four big, strong guys just laying it in over and over. They were absolutely beating the fire out of each other and it’s awesome throughout. That powerslam out of the air was great and I wanted to see them stay at it. Heck of a match here and we can call this an underrated gem.

Doink is thrilled with how well his “pranks” have been received, including ripping his ‘own arm out of its socket”, because only Randy Savage got the idea of a cast. Today he’s facing Crush, who might be….seeing double.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Doink wastes no time in spraying his flower at Crush to start, earning himself a slam on the floor. Crush posts him hard and they head inside for the first time, where Doink is whipped hard into the corner. Some shots from Doink just make Crush madder and they head back inside for a jumping necksnap over the top (Savage says “love it, love it, love it” over seeing one of his old moves).

Something close to a Stunner over the top staggers Crush though and Doink adds a top rope shot to the back. That works so well that Doink adds a middle rope version, plus another top rope shot to finally put Crush down. Another posting has Crush in more trouble but he powerslams Doink out of the air for quite the crash. A running clothesline sends Doink outside and it’s time to crawl underneath the ring.

That’s broken up so Crush teases the Head Vice, but the referee gets bumped. JR: “I’m concerned about the official who is lying there motionless.” Savage: “No he’s just out cold”. The Head Vice goes on and Doink is in trouble…but here is another Doink to hit Crush in the back with the cast. Two cast shots to the head knock Crush silly and we get a double vision deal. The original Doink gets the pin at 8:29.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly great but it did have a clever ending. The original Doink was a rather interesting idea and could have gone a long way before he went on with the stupid comedy stuff. This should have told you that Crush wasn’t likely going anywhere as losing, even via a screwy finish, in this spot isn’t a good sign.

Post match another referee comes out to check under the ring for the other Doink but they can’t find him.

Todd Pettingill talks to some Japanese photographers, who like Yokozuna.

Bob Backlund vs. Razor Ramon

Backlund offers a handshake to start but gets a toothpick thrown in his face instead. Ramon shoves him into the corner without much trouble but Backlund sweeps the leg a few times and bounces back and forth like Brock Lesnar would later do. Ramon goes with the power take over as we hear about Lex Luger knocking out Bret Hart earlier today. Backlund shrugs it off and hits a hiptoss, followed by a missed dropkick. A butterfly suplex drops Ramon and an atomic drop does the same, only for Ramon to small package him for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This felt way out of place, as Ramon went from challenging for the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble to whatever this was supposed to be. I’m not sure why this was on the card but it’s one of the more bizarre matches you will ever see at Wrestlemania. At least it was short, but egads this did not feel like it belonged on Wrestlemania.

Money Inc. doesn’t seem worried about the Mega Maniacs. We look back at Money Inc. smashing Brutus Beefcake’s face with their briefcase, which got Jimmy Hart on Beefcake’s side. It also brought Hulk Hogan back to the WWF, but Money Inc. still isn’t worried.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

The Maniacs, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging and Hogan is sporting a REALLY nasty black eye (apparently from a Jetski accident but also possibly due to a backstage fight with Randy Savage, depending on which story you believe). The villains try to jump the Maniacs before the bell and are cleared out while Hogan’s music is still playing. Money Inc. is chased to the floor again and we finally start with Beefcake and IRS.

Beefcake gets taken into the wrong corner for some chops and DiBiase comes in for an elbow to the (masked) face. For some reason DiBiase goes for a shot to the face and hurts his own hand, setting up a double noggin knocker to bring us back to the 80s. DiBiase’s ram into the buckle has no effect either and Beefcake sends him into the corner over and over for some more success.

Hogan comes in for a few shots but it’s already back to Beefcake for the stomping. Hogan’s middle rope ax handle connects and DiBiase is sent outside. A poke to the eye cuts IRS off and Hogan sends him outside like a hero should be doing. Money Inc. teases leaving but are threatened with losing the titles if they don’t get back in. That means an eight count, sending Heenan into a rant about the rules being made up as they go.

Back in and DiBiase takes over on Hogan, with the champs getting in a variety of choking on the ropes. We hit the Million Dollar Dream and Hogan stays in it so long that he should be legally dead. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafters! But they don’t have rafters in the Roman Coliseum. What they have are columns and they’re hanging from them!” Hogan fights up so Beefcake comes in (no tag) and puts the sleeper on DiBiase, leaving him out cold as well. They both beat the ten count and Beefcake comes back in to clean house, only for DiBiase to hit him in the back with the briefcase.

DiBiase finally goes after the mask and gets it off, meaning Beefcake’s face is sent into a raised boot in the corner. Beefcake fights up and drops IRS but the referee gets bumped. The double tag (unseen by the referee) brings in Hogan and DiBiase with the former slugging away.

The big boot hits DiBiase and Beefcake hits IRS with the mask. We get a double cover so Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out (it has black and white stripes) to count the double pin. Ever the morons, Hogan and Beefcake celebrate with the titles (Hogan slips on the ropes) and even Savage doesn’t think this makes sense. Another referee comes out to disqualify the Maniacs at 18:28.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what makes good guys in wrestling so dumb but my goodness this was stupid even by wrestlers’ standards. It might have come after being so bored by the match, which was just WAY too long and nothing worth seeing. Hogan being in a tag team doesn’t feel important in the slightest and Beefcake felt like a relic of the past here. Just dull stuff here and a pretty lame flop of a match.

Post match the Maniacs are annoyed at the other referee for calling the DQ and Hart throws him over the top. Hogan gets to pose while Beefcake and Hart stand around, leaving him to open the briefcase and find….a brick. And money. One of which is given to the fans. Well gee I wonder why they’re cheering Hogan here.

Singer Natalie Cole has absolutely nothing to say but the CEO of Caesars Palace is a bit happier to have the WWF here.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger and his bionic forearm. Luger calls himself a knockout artist and beyond perfection but Perfect has been hot at the tables this week. He’s ready to go deal with….the Lexissus? Perfect almost cracks up at his flub and says he’s going to go do it.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger has some rather scantily clad women with him and Savage seems interested. JR: “I’ve been to at least a dozen rodeos in Oklahoma and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that.” Heenan: “OF COURSE NOT!” The women hold up the mirrors and we’re officially ready to go. They take their time to start until Perfect hits a nice running knee lift. A shoulder puts Luger down and a running dropkick does it again, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor.

Back in and Luger slowly hammers away but Perfect takes him down and gets in the Robinsdale Crunch. The leg gets cranked on for a bit but Luger gets up and sends him into the buckle a few times to take over. A backbreaker keeps Perfect down and a cradle with feet on the ropes gets two.

Luger hits a powerslam for two but Perfect’s sunset flip gets the same. Perfect catapults him head first into the buckle and slowly hammers away for two. A not so perfect missile dropkick gives Perfect two and they fight over a backslide, with Perfect’s feet touching the ropes, though the referee doesn’t see it, to give Luger the cheap pin at 10:57.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, with Perfect being his usual athletic self but Luger was basically in slow motion. The Narcissist stuff never worked and that was on full display again. Perfect was doing his thing and I still really like him as a good guy, but there is only so much you can do with this kind of a situation.

Post match Perfect is furious and Luger knocks him out with the big forearm. This was possibly the long form setup for Perfect screwing Luger over the next year, which is a heck of a story if that is where they were going. Luger leaves so Perfect goes after him, shoving away Shawn Michaels in the process. Michaels jumps Perfect from behind and beats him down, setting up their Summerslam feud.

Heenan laughs about what happened to Perfect, which has Savage on his feet in anger for some reason.

Gorilla Monsoon hypes up the two remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Harvey Wippleman and Paul Bearer are here too. If that’s not enough, Undertaker comes to the ring in a funeral chariot with a vulture, because he’s that kind of awesome. They do the big staredown and Undertaker barely comes up to Gonzalez’s nose. Gonzalez shoves him down and chokes away, with Undertaker having to go to the middle rope to choke back. A low blow cuts Undertaker off but he’s right back with Old School.

Gonzalez gets in a beal to send him flying and we hit a standing chinlock. Undertaker finally fights up but gets sent outside so Gonzalez can slowly hammer away. The steps crush Undertaker again but he gets back inside, where a headbutt puts him down again. Undertaker strikes away and goes after Wippleman, who throws in a rag. Gonzalez uses said rag, which is apparently covered in ether, to knock Undertaker out for the DQ at 7:36.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was every bit as bad as you could imagine. At the end of the day, Gonzalez could not do anything in the ring to back up his presence. It’s amazing to see someone that size, but it only gets you so far when you can’t do ANYTHING once the bell rings. Throw in a stupid ending to protect Gonzalez and this was an all time terrible Wrestlemania match.

Post match Undertaker is taken out on a stretcher, with Savage implying that undertaker is dead (which….yeah kind of the point). Undertaker leaves so the fans chant for Hogan, which draws Undertaker back out to clear the ring. Cops come out to take Gonzalez away.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, which is all about Yokozuna being a total monster. Yokozuna has crushed a bunch of people with the Banzai Drop, including Hart, who did get up, though that’s not shown here due to reasons. Naturally this means we talk to Hulk Hogan, who has been firing Hart up. You really should be able to see it coming from here. Last night, some people attacked him at the gym but that’s not what matters right now. Hart is a Hulkamaniac but Hogan wants the first shot at either Hart or the (deleted Japanese slur). And that’s that.

Todd Pettingill meets some annoying fans.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is challenging. They stare each other down to start until Hart hits a running dropkick. Some right hands in the corner don’t have much impact and Yokozuna runs him over to the floor without much trouble. Hart gets smart by tripping him down and getting the big leg tied in the ropes. Some right hands and a middle rope elbow have Yokozuna in more trouble but he’s able to get out.

One heck of a clothesline puts Hart down, setting up the big legdrop as the pace slows. A nerve hold has Hart down again but he fights up and gets a boot up in the corner. The middle rope bulldog puts Yokozuna down for two but he’s right back with a superkick. The nerve hold goes on again but Hart avoids a splash. The Sharpshooter actually goes on (and it’s not a bad one either), only for Fuji to throw salt in his eyes. Yokozuna gets the pin and the title at 8:57.

Rating: D+. This is a similar story to the Gonzalez match, but Yokozuna is FAR better than Gonzalez could ever hope to be. That being said, Hart was still limited in what he could do, but some of the ways he was outsmarting Yokozuna did work. It’s far from a terrible match, though it’s certainly not worth a look outside of the title change.

Post match Hulk Hogan is IMMEDIATELY out there to check on Hart, prompting Fuji to issue the challenge for a title shot RIGHT NOW in an all time dumb move. Hart gives Hogan his blessing and yes we’re on.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Hogan is challenging and gets jumped at the start, so Fuji throws more salt, only to hit Yokozuna. The freedom loving referee is fine with this, allowing Hogan to hit a clothesline and drop the leg to win the title at 22 seconds.

Hogan celebrates to end the show as Heenan is losing his mind.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this show deserves a lot of its reputation. There are all kinds of issues here, and one that doesn’t get addressed enough is the Roman Coliseum deal. It feels like some goofy fun idea and that doesn’t mesh with the biggest show of the year. Do this for something like Summerslam, but don’t try to make Wrestlemania into a themed show.

That’s on top of ALL the other problems, including some pretty dreadful matches and almost nothing that feels Wrestlemania worthy. Hogan coming in to steal the title and make Hart the afterthought of afterthoughts didn’t help either. This show somehow lives down to its terrible reputation and even the awesomeness that is the Steiners vs. the Headshrinkers (easily the match of the night) can’t bring it up to even ok.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

It’s interesting that Hart vs. Yokozuna has been the same for all four versions but the show just is not very good.

 

 

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Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
O Canada: Robert Goulet

We’ll look at one more Wrestlemania after this year’s season ends thanks to the WWE Vault. This is one of the most famous Wrestlemania main events of all time with The Ultimate Challenge as Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior, title for title. That’s about all you have on the show but…well what else do you need? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is one of the all time best, with Vince McMahon showing various constellations in space, eventually stopping on Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, because this is ALL Wrestlemania was built around.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

The ring carts are back! Martel jumps him during the weapons check and hammers away but Ware is back with a middle rope crossbody. Some dropkicks have Martel in trouble and a backdrop makes it worse. Ware gets low bridged out to the floor and it’s a suplex for two back inside. The Boston crab is blocked (in the Coliseum Video, that was clipped to the finish, assuming you ignore Ware being nowhere near where he was for the submission when the hold was put on) and Ware fights up but the comeback is cut off as Ware misses a crossbody. Now the Boston crab can finish Ware off at 5:30.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but a Canadian heel gets to win so the fans won’t be overly annoyed. It’s still strange to see a cold match on Wrestlemania but there’s nothing wrong with what we got here. Ware is a perfectly serviceable star and Martel is still criminally underrated, so it’s not like this was going to be bad. Uneventful maybe, but not bad.

Gene Okerlund is with the Colossal Connection (Haku/Andre The Giant) but calls them the Colostomy Connection. This leads to a series of puns but the gist is they’ll beat Demolition.

Demolition is ready to chop down the Colossal Connection. Threats of shouting TIMBER are issued, while Smash would rather put the champs in the back of a truck and throw them off a cliff. Dude it’s a wrestling match. Stop threatening to murder them.

Tag Team Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

The Connection, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and don’t get an entrance. It’s almost like that’s just not a big deal and is a nice way to shave off a bit of time. The champs jumps them before the start and it’s Haku officially starting with Smash. They slug it out with Smash taking over and grabbing an early neck crank. Ax comes in for some shots of his own before it’s back to Smash for a battle over a backslide.

With that going nowhere, it’s back to Ax, who gets hit in the throat and caught in a backbreaker for two. Some chops have Ax in more trouble, to the point where he staggers over to Andre, who decks him as well. Haku strikes him down again and then sends him into Andre’s head, which is quite the smart move. Another comeback is cut off with a poke to the eyes and we go to a wide shot of the stadium and dang it looks awesome.

The nerve hold goes on to keep Ax in trouble but he fights up, only to get choked down by Andre again. Ax manages to fight up and gets in a knockdown, which is FINALLY enough for the tag off to Smash. Everything breaks down and Andre gets double teamed into the corner. Haku superkicks Andre by mistake though and he gets tied up in the ropes. A double clothesline and the Demolition Decapitator gives us new champions at 9:10. Andre never tagged in.

Rating: C+. This was a glorified handicap match, with Haku literally wrestling the entire match with Andre only coming in at the beginning and end. It was clear that Andre was at the end of his run but there was still something to be said about having a giant like that standing around. Demolition getting the titles back got a heck of a reaction too, as it was quite the moment.

Post match Andre is still staggered but Heenan LOSES HIS EVER LOVING MIND by yelling at Andre and slapping him in the face. Andre punches Heenan in the face, beats up Haku for daring to defending Heenan and then knocks both of them out of the ring cart (I’ve always loved that), allowing him to ride away to one final hero’s sendoff.

Jimmy Hart thinks there is going to be an earthquake in Toronto. I mean, there already is one next to him but I get the idea.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. Hercules hammers away but can only knock Earthquake into the corner. A test of strength has Hercules down on his knees and Earthquake drops him again. Back up and some running shoulders and clotheslines stagger Earthquake but ever the moron, Hercules tries a torture rack. The ensuing collapse sets up an elbow into the Earthquake to finish Hercules at 4:56.

Rating: C. This was about all you could have expected from this match and it went completely ok. At the end of the day, there is only so much Hercules can do with a monster, especially with Hulk Hogan being up next for Earthquake. You don’t want to see Hercules throw him around and Earthquake looks all the more dominant. The key thing here was to keep it short, and it worked better as a result. Hercules would turn heel and form Power & Glory pretty soon.

Rona Barrett (celebrity interviewer) talks to Miss Elizabeth, who says she’ll be back around more frequently in the near future. Not really, no.

Brutus Beefcake looks at Mr. Perfect’s record and is impressed, but he’s ready to trim it down.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

The Genius is here with Perfect. They slug it out in the corner to start with Beefcake knocking him out to the floor. Perfect needs a breather before coming back in to hammer away and take over. Beefcake sends him into the corner and comes back with a slam, followed by another whip into the corner. Naturally Perfect does a big bump, because that’s just what he does. With nothing else working, Genius slips Perfect the scroll for a cheap shot to take over. The Hennig necksnap gets two and Perfect slaps him a few times but Beefcake catapults him into the post for the pin out of absolutely nowhere at 7:48.

Rating: C+. This was a good match for Beefcake, who gets the big feather in his cap by giving Perfect his first loss. Beefcake really was crazy over at this point and was getting better in the ring. Then his face was destroyed in a few months and he just never recovered, which is a shame when you can see what he was doing here.

Post match Beefcake goes after the Genius (Perfect doesn’t seem to notice and leaves), setting up the sleeper and a haircut. The thing is Genius apparently wasn’t told this was going to happen (as apparently Pat Patterson only told Beefcake about the idea) so his flailing around and trying to get away was legitimate. It almost led to a fight backstage between Beefcake and Randy Savage before things calmed down.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown. They eliminated each other from the Royal Rumble and had a big fight to the back. Then Brown called it a skirt and of course it meant war.

Now we get to the reason why this match isn’t on Peacock, as Piper, in half Black face, calls himself Hot Rod and Hot Scot (complete with a bit of Billie Jean). Piper mocks Brown’s eyes, ears and nose (with the long hairs sticking out) before moving on to the biggest problem, which is Brown’s mouth. Piper is ready to shut it for Brown, but will it be Hot Rod or Hot Scot who does it? I have no idea how this was seen as a good idea but it’s as terrible as it sounds.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Brown doesn’t seem to understand what is up with the dual skin color thing and I’m not quite getting it either. They slug it out to start and the referee breaks it up, allowing Piper to hit a crossbody. Piper hammers away in the corner but gets staggered by a big headbutt. Some right hands put Piper down and we hit the nerve hold.

An elbow gives Brown two, with commentary getting on him about the lackadaisical cover. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Piper sends him into it instead. It’s time to load up a glove and Piper knocks him down a few times, with the referee being fine with the whole thing. Brown bails to the floor and pulls Piper with him and it’s a double countout at 6:50.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly good, but it’s remembered for reasons of WHAT WAS PIPER THINKING. I have no idea how this was approved and while I know things were a bit different back in 1990, it was just such a terrible idea. It doesn’t help that they didn’t have time to do anything, with the match wrapping up when it was just getting going. I mean, assuming the glove deal was something getting going.

The brawl continues and referees break it up as they go to the back.

Steve Allen (former Tonight Show host) is in a bathroom with a piano, where he can’t quite manage to play the Soviet national anthem. This is what we get for celebrities these days. And now did they get that piano in there?

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

The Bolsheviks do their singing and get jumped by the Harts to start fast. Volkoff is knocked to the floor and the Hart Attack finishes Zhukov at 19 seconds. Hart counting to three at the camera was a great touch. And now it’s time for the Harts to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Wrestlemania VII is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Well maybe if they can get tickets to a game on their way to the Sports Arena.

Tito Santana is ready for the Barbarian.

Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian

Bobby Heenan is here with Barbarian, who Santana can’t drop to start. Barbarian runs him over instead and tries a powerbomb, only for Santana to punch his way out. Barbarian’s middle rope elbow misses though and Santana comes back with the flying forearm. Heenan puts the foot on the ropes like a good manager should, allowing Barbarian to get in a throat snap across the top. The top rope clothesline absolutely destroys Santana (in an awesome sell) for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C+. Santana was trying here and Barbarian was perfectly capable of having this kind of a match. Barbarian got in his power stuff and looked impressive, but that clothesline is all people remember from the match. That’s for good reason too, as Santana sold the thing like death.

We recap Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri. It’s basically the men were feuding and the women got involved. Simple and to the point here.

Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire are ready to prove that they are better than royalty and promise the Crown Jewel. Great. Now we’re going to Saudi Arabia.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri

Ventura has a big problem believing that Rhodes and Sapphire combine to weigh 465lbs, as Sapphire is at least 250. Rhodes and Sapphire do indeed have the Crown Jewel in the form of Miss Elizabeth, who comes to the ring as Savage loses his mind. The men start things off as commentary explains the rules, as this is a first time ever match in the WWF.

Sherri tries a cheap shot on Rhodes and gets pulled into the corner by Sapphire, leaving Ventura panicking over a camera shot from behind Sapphire. Rhodes pulls a diving Savage out of the air and it’s off to the women. Sapphire sends the villains into each other and airplane spins Sherri. Savage comes back in and gets his arms tied up, allowing Sapphire to get in a slap.

Back up and Savage sends him outside for a top rope ax handle, setting up Sherri for a knee to the gut. Sapphire comes over and gets thrown down, with Ventura being far too pleased. Back in and Savage hits a suplex, allowing Sherri to hit a top rope splash for two, already going against the rules of the match. Rhodes comes back in and elbows away at Savage before Sapphire comes back in to suplex Sherri. Elizabeth throws her back in and even gets in a shot to Sherri. Sapphire gets a rollup for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: C. They were very smart to keep Sapphire out of the ring save for a few fun spots and that’s the right way to go. At the end of the day, she wasn’t much of a wrestler but she wasn’t being presented as one so it’s not some big stretch. The match might not have been good, but it was certainly fun and that’s all you need at times.

Post match Savage tries a scepter shot but Rhodes takes it away. Savage manages to get his crown on as he runs off because he’s awesome that way. Dancing ensues.

Gene Okerlund asks Bobby Heenan where he has the “ba….the nerve” to hit Andre in the face. Heenan makes various threats and actually loses his train of thought, leaving him with a blank stare. Gene brings him back to reality and Heenan goes on a rant about starting a new Family (true actually). Ignore Heenan being all sweaty and disheveled due to the Andre thing, but looking perfectly fine for the Barbarian match in between them.

Rona Barrett suggests that Jesse Ventura has done an adult movie. Gorilla Monsoon is WAY too interested in this.

Randy Savage rants about mind games.

Demolition, who haven’t had a shower despite winning the titles an hour ago, are happy with their title win and they’re ready for the Hart Foundation.

Hulk Hogan says the power lies in his hand. Then when he gets Ultimate Warrior on his knees, he’ll ask if Warrior wants to live forever. The Hulkamaniacs can save him and bring him from the darkness into the light. Hogan says it doesn’t matter whether he wins or loses (there’s your red flag) because it’s about being a good winner or loser. Hopefully Warrior is a good loser.

Ultimate Warrior throws Sean Mooney out, saying he doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Warrior and Hogan. Warrior then goes on some rant about how no one can live forever but he wants to merge the Little Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs. Then he wants to bring Hogan to a new place where he has never been before. Dubuque, Iowa?

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express. Jannetty knocks Tanaka down to start but Tanaka hits a superkick (close enough). The Rockers clear the ring and hit stereo dives (a big spot for 1990), with Fuji not being pleased in the slightest. Back in and the Express stomps away in the corner before Tanaka gives Michaels a gutbuster.

A spinning forearm cuts Michaels off again before Sato grabs a quickly broken nerve hold. Michaels fights up and brings in Jannetty as everything breaks down. Fuji offers a distraction though and Sato gets in some salt to Jannetty’s eyes. Jannetty even stumbles over the barricade (sounds like a normal night for Marty) and it’s a countout at 7:43.

Rating: C+. This is a match that should have been awesome but it was just mostly ok. Allegedly the Rockers were VERY hung over for the match and that’s probably the reason for a lot of the issues. That being said, it’s still a good match and they would have a much better match the following year at the Royal Rumble (subbing in Kato for Saito helped).

Steve Allen introduces Rhythm & Blues. Allen: “They have been called one of the greatest bands to come along in quite a long time. Unfortunately they are not here tonight so here are Rhythm & Blues.” Allen suggests that the Honky Tonk Man is similar to Elvis. As in Costello. More jokes ensue, including Valentine saying they’re going to the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Allen: “I’ll call them and warn them you’re coming.” Yeah it’s corny but Allen is funny enough.

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Duggan is waving the American flag (which is wrapped up to the point where you can’t see the stars at first) and Ventura points out how dumb that might be in Canada. Bravo has Earthquake and Jimmy Hart with him so this isn’t likely to go well. Duggan slugs away to start and Bravo is knocked outside.

Back in and Duggan hits an atomic drop before slugging away in the corner. Bravo fights back and drops a big elbow before sending Duggan face first into the buckle. Since there’s nothing there to hurt, it fires Duggan up but Bravo kicks him down again. Duggan fights up and makes the comeback so Earthquake offers a distraction. The 2×4 shot to the back gives Duggan the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Good example of “what else were you expecting”, even with Earthquake out there for the likely post match beatdown. Duggan is such a goofy fun star and that was always his thing. It was certainly on display here and the match wasn’t any good, but it’s almost impossible to boo Duggan. Even with his flag issues aside of course.

Post match Earthquake drops Duggan and gives him two Earthquakes.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase, which is a long running feud over Roberts stealing DiBiase’s money and the belt. Now the belt is on the line.

Roberts talks about how there are people who could use DiBiase’s money but he mocks and humiliates them. Now it’s time for DiBiase to be mocked and humiliated, a victim of his own greed.

Million Dollar Title: Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is defending and has Virgil with him. They slug it out to start and Roberts tries an early DDT, sending DiBiase bailing out to the floor. They both miss elbows and DiBiase has to run from another pair of DDT attempts. Back in and Roberts works on a hammerlock, even managing to send DiBiase bailing out to the floor. DiBiase slowly gets back in and walks into a knee, only to avoid a running knee in the corner to leave Roberts down for a change.

The front facelock goes on as the fans do the Wave before they go outside, with Roberts getting posted. A piledriver gets a VERY delayed two, with even Ventura getting on DiBiase for taking so much time. The Million Dollar Dream goes on and Roberts finally falls into the ropes for the break.

DiBiase goes up but gets punched out of the air, allowing Roberts to start the comeback. Virgil offers a distraction though and Roberts goes outside to take care of him. The Million Dollar Dream goes on again outside, with Roberts sending him into the post. Virgil earns his pay though by sending DiBiase back inside to beat the count out 11:49.

Rating: C. For some reason, these two just could not have a good match if they tried. They’re a pair that should have made for solid matches up and down the circuit and it just never happened. That was the case again here, with the countout making things even worse than usual.

Post match DiBiase gets some money out so Roberts beats him up. Virgil bails with the belt but Roberts plants DiBiase with the DDT. Roberts gives away the money, including $100 to Mary Tyler Moore. Damien is loaded up but Virgil runs back in for a distraction and escapes.

Slick and Akeem (who can’t stop dancing) are ready for some revenge on the Big Boss Man.

The freshly turned Big Boss Man talks about how he isn’t going to take money from Ted DiBiase. He may be poor, but he’s proud.

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man’s sneer as he rides the ring cart to the ring is borderline terrifying. Hold on though as Ted DiBiase is still at ringside and jumps the Boss Man on the floor. So the match officially begins with Akeem hitting a splash, with Gorilla and Ventura arguing over interference. Apparently this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than Elizabeth interfering earlier. Akeem hammers away in the corner but Boss Man knocks him out of the corner and makes the comeback. Some whips into the corner have Akeem in trouble and a clothesline puts him down. Boss Man hammers away and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin at 1:51.

Sean Mooney talks to various fans about Rhythm & Blues sing. One fan: “I DON’T CARE!” He also talks to Mary Tyler Moore, who clearly has no idea what is going on and doesn’t care. Mooney: “She’ll always be Mary Richards to me.”

We get a rare production gaffe as the bell rings before Rhythm & Blues come to the ring to play their new song live. They come out in a pink Cadillac, complete with a totally unknown Diamond Dallas Page driving (it was his car). Monsoon dubs the girls in the car the Honkettes and Jesse LOSES IT for some reason. Anyway, they do indeed play Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love…until the Bushwhackers come out and wreck everything. Honky Tonk Man felt so useless after losing the Intercontinental Title (which was kind of the point) but Valentine trying so hard with this completely out of nowhere gimmick change is still amusing.

The official attendance: 67,678. Not bad.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Bobby Heenan is here with Rude and Steve Allen is on commentary. Rude jumps him from behind and starts the big forearms to the back, only to miss a dropkick (not his most common move). Snuka gets in a few shots to the ribs and mocks Rude, only for Rude to slug him right back down. A poke to the eye cuts Snuka off again but he comes back with a flying headbutt. Snuka’s middle rope headbutt misses though and the Rude Awakening is good for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: C. Yeah this is something that probably should have been cut due to time, but this was important enough for the future. Rude’s hair was slicked back here to get rid of his goofy looking style and he won clean in the end. It wasn’t a memorable match in any way, but what mattered here was Rude feeling like a more serious star and they made it work well enough.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior. They went face to face in the Royal Rumble and it was the most amazing thing ever, as it was hard to imagine the match actually happening. The match was set up, Hogan saved Warrior from Earthquake, Warrior saved Hogan from Earthquake, and they had a mini feud with Mr. Perfect and the Genius. None of that stuff mattered though, because Hogan vs. Warrior was going to happen.

WWF Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

Title for title so they’re both defending. Warrior gets to run to the ring and that’s not likely to go well. Hogan walks (being the only two to not use the ring carts) and that imagine of Warrior doing his pose on the buckle is one of the first wrestling imagines I can ever remember. You don’t get to say this and actually mean it very often, but this is the definition of a split crowd. Both of them are cheered and the fans are giving no sign that one is more popular than the other. They take their belts off and do the staredown and my goodness you can feel the intensity.

They shove each other and pose before going to the test of strength with even Jesse saying this is totally even. Warrior gets him down to his knees and that is a game changer (Ventura: “WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT!”) as the idea of a good guy being able to do that to Hogan was unthinkable. Hogan powers up to set the universe right and Warrior goes down for one of your famous shots from the match. Warrior starts to get up so Hogan trips him down and drops a leg for two.

They do the criss cross until Hogan hits a slam, with Warrior popping back up to scare Hogan to death. Back up and Warrior hits his own slam, with a bit more effect. A clothesline puts Hogan on the floor and he comes up holding up his knee. Warrior is smart to kick at the knee but Hogan tells the referee he’s getting back in, where Hogan suddenly forgets about the knee (it’s never brought up again) to make the quick comeback.

Hogan drops some elbows and we hit the front facelock as Warrior is blown up and needs a breather. A small package sets up a chinlock before Hogan hits a clothesline for two. The chinlock goes on again as they are barely able to hide that Warrior is in trouble. Some knees to the back (Monsoon: “Cervical vertebrae!” Ventura: “No Monsoon, IT’S THE BACK!”) set up another chinlock as we’re firmly in the middle of the match, though the crowd is still right there with them.

Back up and they hit a double clothesline, with Ventura accurately saying that Hogan should be in control still because he had done so much more damage. Warrior starts to shake the ropes for the comeback as he now has some more oxygen, meaning it’s time to whip Hogan into various corners. A bearhug has Hogan in trouble and we get two arm drops. Hogan punches his way to freedom and Warrior accidentally runs the referee over.

Back to back top rope ax handles stagger Hogan but he avoids the flying should to spike Warrior into the mat. That’s good for no count so Hogan gets up, with Warrior belly to back suplexing him to even the match at a visual pinfall apiece. The referee gets back up (if this had been modern wrestling, there would have been a ridiculous heel turn or interference and it would have been awful) to count some very delayed twos.

Warrior gets sent outside and Hogan gets sent into the post. The gorilla press into the Warrior Splash gets two as it’s time to Hulk Up. The comeback is on and the big boot connects but the legdrop misses (GASP!). Warrior hits another quick splash for the pin and the title at 22:45, with Hogan kicking out at 3.01, because Warrior was just a hair better, but that’s all he needed to be.

Rating: A. This very well may be the greatest example of a match being elevated by the crowd. The match itself is good and a back and forth match which told a story, but the crowd turned it from a match to an event. Just watching these two go face to face felt special and it came off like the dawning of a new era. That era didn’t go so well, but the start of it was incredible. It’s not an all time classic wrestling match, but it’s professional wrestling at an incredibly high level and that is more than noteworthy.

Post match the referee gives Warrior the titles but we go tight on the Warrior so the referee can hand the WWF Title back to the Fink. That lets Hogan pick up the title and hand it over for the big hero moment. Hogan gets to leave and salutes Warrior as the pyro goes off and posing ensues. Even Ventura praises Hogan for the big sendoff in a moment you don’t often see.

Overall Rating: B. This show is really kind of astounding as it’s fondly remembered, but there is NOTHING on here but the main event. You have a few nice moments, but so many of the matches are completely forgettable if not downright skippable. They banked everything on Hogan vs. Warrior and luckily those two hit it so far out of the park that the ball wound up back in America. It’s a one match show, but my goodness what a match that is.

Results
Rick Martel b. Koko B. Ware – Boston crab
Demolition b. Colossal Connection – Demolition Decapitator to Haku
Earthquake b. Hercules – Earthquake
Brutus Beefcake b. Mr. Perfect – Slingshot into the post
Hart Foundation b. Bolsheviks – Hart Attack to Zhukov
The Barbarian b. Tito Santana – Top rope clothesline
Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire b. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri – Rollup to Sherri
Orient Express b. Rockers via countout
Ted DiBiase b. Jake Roberts via countout
Ultimate Warrior b. Hulk Hogan – Warrior Splash

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: B

Geez it’s better than those previous reviews would have you believe. It’s not even a bad show and the main event is more than good enough to carry it.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Well if you insist. This might be the show that I’ve seen more than any other in history as I regularly put it on to go to sleep, as it’s just such pleasant viewing. It’s one of the biggest shows of all time with the biggest main event in history. Throw in…oh come on. It’s Wrestlemania III. You know what this is all about so let’s get to it.

And in case it needs to be addressed again, the exact attendance of the show is A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Be it 78,000 or 93,173 or whatever it is in the middle, the WWF packed an NFL stadium and it’s a show that is still talked about going on forty years later. If you’re trying to argue that the attendance being ONLY pushing 80,000, you’re probably reading the wrong thing right now.

We open with the first (of a bunch) iconic shot of the show, with the camera near the top of the stadium and panning across to show all of the people. That’s one of those famous shots in the company’s history and it’s no wonder that it’s been played so many times.

Vince McMahon introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America The Beautiful, with just a hint of the Mr. McMahon voice coming out.

We meet commentary, plus special guests Mary Hart (from Entertainment Tonight) and Bob Uecker (famously not very good baseball player who wound up being a great TV personality and broadcaster).

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

Mr. Fuji is here with the villains and the Connection (Tom Zenk/Rick Martel) are basically the prototype for Strike force. Muraco shoves Zenk away to start and actually gets shouldered down. It’s off to Martel, who blind tags his way out of a headlock, setting up a double monkey flip. A double hiptoss drops Orton as well as they’re off to a fast start.

Back up and Orton gets slammed into an armbar from Zenk as Monsoon says Orton has “excellence of execution”. Orton gets a full nelson but Muraco’s cheap shot hits Orton by mistake to give Zenk two. Zenk comes in to work on the arm as well but a quick knee cuts Zenk down. Back up and a collision gives us a double knockdown, allowing the tag back to Martel. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent into each other, with Muraco backdropping Orton. A double dropkick sets up a crossbody (with a trip) to pin Muraco at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This would have been a dark match in more modern times but for this era, it was a great way to start things off. They didn’t waste time and got out of there pretty quickly with the young, pretty boy team beating the villains. Orton and Muraco were never really in control for any extended period of time and it was just shy of a squash. Fun opener here, even if it doesn’t mean much of anything.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes, which is a battle of the full nelson between two strong guys.

Hercules, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to use his strength to show Haynes that he is the true master of the full nelson. Heenan insists that it is actually Billy “Jerk” Haynes.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Bobby Heenan is here with Hercules and since the teams were in the ring to start the opener, we get the first glimpse of the ring carts here. They go nose to nose to start and Haynes backs him into the corner, where the referee gets between them in something you don’t often see. A cheap shot cuts Haynes off but Hercules has to bail from the threat of a full nelson.

One heck of a clothesline drops Haynes and things slow down. A backdrop and hard whip into the corner have Haynes’ back in more trouble, though Monsoon wonders why he isn’t working on the neck to set up the full nelson. Hercules covers him off a suplex but pulls up at two, which has Gorilla and Ventura mildly freaking out.

Back up and the full nelson, or at least something close to it (the fingers aren’t locked) goes on, with Haynes going down anyway. Two arm drops trigger the comeback so Hercules decks him from behind in a smart move. A double clothesline leaves both of them down before Haynes makes the clothesline comeback. The full nelson goes on but Hercules pulls them through the ropes for a crash outside. Haynes gets the full nelson on again but it’s a double countout at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was a fairly slow power match with the result not really giving us anything. It’s still strange to see something like this at Wrestlemania but it’s a rather different era. The good thing though is that they didn’t stay out there very long, which takes away a lot of the issues. Haynes is a guy who had a great look but never went very far in the WWF before bailing (as he did multiple times in various companies).

Post match Heenan knees Haynes in the back so the chase is on, allowing Hercules to get in a chain shot and bust Hayes open (notice Haynes blading on camera). The full nelson goes on as well, likely setting up house show rematches.

King Kong Bundy, with his midgets (that’s what they’re called on this show so we’ll stay with that for now) threatens to crush various people.

Hillbilly Jim promises to protect his smaller friends, who he picks up for a beard pull.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Bob Uecker is on commentary and actually treats it seriously, clarifying that the sizes have to match (not so much the age, as Beaver was 53 here while Tokyo was 58, compared to the 35 year old Jim and the 32 year old Bundy). Tokyo headlocks Kid over to start and it’s a four way criss cross until Beaver and Kid do their rowboat spot. We settle down to Tokyo vs. Beaver as Uecker seems rather happy to be here.

Littlebrook comes in as Ventura wants to see Bundy crush one of the midgets. Beaver runs over to get in a cheap shot on Bundy, who is tagged in from the apron, which isn’t exactly legal. Beaver’s dropkick doesn’t do much to Bundy so it’s off to Jim for a clothesline and jumping elbow. The group pin gets two and Bundy grabs a front facelock on Jim, with Beaver coming in for the save. That’s enough for Bundy, who slams Beaver down and drops the big elbow, which is enough for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches where there isn’t much to get. It’s designed to be comedy or for the kids in the audience, which is fine when they just do something goofy. At the same time, it’s hard to fathom how far Bundy fell after headlining the show the previous year. In something a lot more serious, unfortunately the big elbow to Beaver led to the end of his in-ring career, as he never wrestled again.

Randy Savage isn’t going to let Elizabeth be interviewed by Mary Hart and offers to take any questions Hart may have. Hart to Elizabeth: “Is it always this way?” Savage rushes Elizabeth out of there but tells Hart that his phone number is on his license plate. Hart: “You are a real charmer.” And an incredible star, as the charisma here was incredible.

We recap Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. Race is the King of the WWF and wants the Dog to bow to him but Dog wasn’t interested. Instead, Race, with Bobby Heenan, tried to force him to bow. That’s enough to set up a match, but I’d be more annoyed at the crown having a string to help hold it on. They can’t get something a bit more customized?

Race promises to make Dog bow and the Queen (Fabulous Moolah) is told to keep the crown.

The Dog thinks Race has been on the throne too long.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Bob Uecker runs off commentary because he is apparently in love with Moolah. As….someone must have been. Dog slugs away to start and knocks him outside, followed by a headbutt back inside. Race hits a headbutt to the ribs and they go outside, where Race misses a falling headbutt.

A clothesline sends Race over the top and back inside, followed by another to put him outside again, with Race’s face landing on the apron. Back in again and Race fights out of an abdominal stretch and hits a falling headbutt, which huts himself again. Dog whips him over the corner and hits some headbutts on all fours. Heenan offers a distraction though and Race grabs a belly to belly for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. This was another short one and somehow might have set a record for the most headbutts attempted in any match. The interesting thing here is that it felt like Race was doing something beneath him, but you could still see how graceful he was with some of his bumping. It made Dog, who wasn’t exactly great on his best day, look that much better here, which is quite the feat.

Post match Race puts on the robe and sits in his chair, which is quite the visual. Dog does bow, then hits Race with the chair and steals the robe and crown, because he’s a sore loser.

Hulk Hogan is not happy with people suggesting that he is ready to take his last ride. At some point you have to face the truth, which is what Andre The Giant will do today. Andre is going to have to face every Hulkamaniac. Hogan: “They say if the dirty air doesn’t get you, the politicians will.” After that line that I have not understood for over thirty seven years, Hogan promises to win.

The Dream Team says don’t worry about Dino Bravo being in their corner.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team, with Luscious Johnny V and Dino Bravo, gets an entrance while the Rougeaus are already in the ring. Ventura praises Greg Valentine’s new robe. To be fair, that is a rather snazzy robe. As usual, Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau is which and asks Monsoon in an exchange that illustrates why they sounded like normal people from time to time. Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau he’s seeing, Monsoon says it’s Raymond (the one with the mustache) and Ventura sounds grateful. How often do you see that in wrestling?

Anyway, Raymond takes over on Valentine to start and hands it off to Jacques, who misses a spinning middle rope crossbody, allowing Valentine to drop some elbows, as he is known to do. Beefcake comes in to stomp away and a top rope forearm to the head/backbreaker combination hits Jacques.

Bobby Heenan joins commentary and says he is 2/2 today as Valentine gets the Figure Four, sending Jacques to the rope. Monsoon calls out Heenan for King Kong Bundy’s loss, but Heenan doesn’t “deal with midgets”. Jacques gets over to Raymond for the tag and Le Bombe de Rougeau connects but Bravo gets in a cheap shot, allowing Valentine to steal the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Another short match which didn’t mean much but hearing Monsoon and Heenan arguing is always worth a look. It’s another match where they don’t have much of a story and it’s just two teams doing things, which is acceptable enough. Anytime you can get Le Bombe de Rougeau, it’s a pretty good day. Well maybe not for the Rougeaus, but at least it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match Beefcake gets left in the ring for some reason with the other villains leaving. No one exactly gets what’s going on with Beefcake and…yeah it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Unless he’s just having a sudden crisis of conscience, it comes out of nowhere, at least with what we’re seeing here.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis in Piper’s farewell match, which is hair vs. hair. Adonis had paid off Piper’s bodyguard Bob Orton and Piper was livid, even more so when Piper’s Pit was turned into the Flower Shop when Piper was gone making a movie. Piper came back and wrecked the place, earning a beating from Adonis and Orton. On top of that, Adonis sprayed perfume in Piper’s face, with Ventura thinking it was due to a bad case of halitosis. This was a heck of a hot feud, as Piper looked like he wanted to kill Adonis.

Piper says he’s not going out like a coward. No defeat and no surrender. Piper was bringing the fire here.

Adonis, with Jimmy Hart, is ready to cut Piper’s hair.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Piper has to walk to the ring (as his cart stalled), which just feels appropriate. They start fast with Piper whipping him with a belt but Adonis takes it away and unloads on Piper as well. A clothesline sends Adonis to the floor so Piper drags him, and Hart, inside for a double noggin knocker. Hart gets whipped into Adonis for a crash out to the floor. Ventura: “THIS IS TERRIBLE! THIS IS HORRIBLE!”

Back in and Piper unloads on Adonis before throwing Hart onto him again. Adonis rakes away at the chest and drops him with a shot to the face as Hart is barely able to stand on the floor. An elbow sends Piper to the floor and Adonis sends him into a table so Hart gets in a cheap shot of his own. Adonis hammers away so Piper tells him to bring it, only for Hart to spray him with perfume.

Good Night Irene (sleeper) goes on and Piper can’t shake it off or break it with some rams into the corner. The arm drops twice and Adonis just lets go, with the arm not going down yet. Cue Brutus Beefcake (whose hair Adonis had accidentally cut earlier in the year) to wake Piper up so Adonis swings his hedge clippers, which bounce off the ropes and hit himself in the head. Piper grabs his own sleeper for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B. No it might not be good, but this is an absolute blast of a match with Piper being so over the top and having such a good time with Hart and Adonis that it’s just so much fun. Piper was on his way out and gets to do one more entertaining match because he earned the whole thing. It would have been interesting to see him as a good guy for a longer time in his prime but going out on a high note like this is good too.

Post match Beefcake cuts a bunch of Adonis’ hair, with Piper throwing it around. Adonis wakes up and is shown his haircut, which sends Adonis into a frenzy. It doesn’t really get him very far as Piper keeps skipping away, leaving Adonis to crash out to the floor. Piper celebrates and a fan runs into the ring, gets a hug, and is promptly handcuffed while Piper leaves in a funny moment. Of note: the hedge clippers that Adonis used would become Beefcake’s trademark as he became the Barber after the match. Throw in Adonis being the one to give Piper his trademark leather jacket and it’s quite the influential feud.

Jesse Ventura has left commentary to be presented to the crowd, with Bob Uecker accusing him of going to be with Fabulous Moolah.

Ventura is indeed presented to the crowd before the next match, which he would do for the next two Wrestlemanias for some reason.

The Hart Foundation and Jimmy Hart are ready for war with DANNY DAVIS as their new member.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Bob Uecker and Mary Hart are on commentary. So this is ALL about Davis, who was a referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles through being all evil. He was promptly suspended “for life plus ten years” (he refereed again later on because wrestling) so Jimmy Hart has turned him into a wrestler, making his debut here.

The fans are desperate to see Davis get absolutely massacred here and he has absolutely insane heat. The good guys get to do their entrance and Uecker AGAIN does a great job of setting up Monsoon to recap the story, treating this totally seriously (in his own fun way) and being as good of a celebrity broadcaster as you’ll ever find in wrestling. Matilda (the bulldog mascot) chases the villains to the floor and Santana jumps Neidhart before we officially get going.

Ventura takes Matilda to the back as Bret is dropped face first out of the corner. Neidhart comes in as Mary Hart goes on a rather annoying rant about how she is NOT related to Jimmy. Santana leapfrogs Neidhart and hands it off to Smith to hammer away. Smith avoids Bret’s elbow and hands it off to Dynamite, who gets headbutted down. Dynamite gets punched in the corner and Neidhart adds a cheap shot as Monsoon says that Bret, just like Bob Orton, has Excellence Of Execution.

Something close to a Demolition Decapitator hits Dynamite and it’s off to Davis for a few stomps. He immediately hands it off to Bret with the biggest grin, because he knows how to be a heel. Unfortunately Mary is asking what Dynamite has to do to get out of the ring in this TAG match. Davis comes back in for two more stomps and gets out again with his big grin. Bret tries a slingshot but Davis lands on raised knees, allowing Santana to come in and hammer on Davis, with the fans going NUTS.

A backdrop sets up the flying forearm before Santana just unloads on him with some right hands. Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four so Smith comes in for a heck of a clothesline and a jumping Tombstone. That’s not enough for the cover so Smith grabs a suplex to drop Davis again. The running powerslam gets two with Neidhart making the save. Everything breaks down and Jimmy slips in the megaphone so Davis can knock Smith out for the win at 8:53.

Rating: B. While it might be stretching the idea of having Davis escape one more time, sweet goodness the crowd reactions here were incredible. Davis was getting absolutely molten heat here and the fans were dying to see him get crushed. I could have gone for seeing the good guys win, but stretching it out wasn’t the worst idea.

Bobby Heenan (now in the famous white tuxedo) promises that Hulkamania is over tonight because Andre The Giant will be the new World Champion. Heenan’s confidence here is even higher than usual as he really feels like this is the be all and end all for him.

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Slick is here with Reed as we have a bit of a Mid-South reunion here. Ware tries to pick up the pace to start by running over Reed and then dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Reed drops Ware to take over and we look at Frankie the parrot trying to eat the camera. Ware comes back with some right hands and a dropkick before a small package gets two. Back up and Ware tries a crossbody but Reed rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here with the two of them just having a quick match without going very far. Reed felt like he could have been something bigger in the company but it never quite panned out. Having him around here was fine, but there is only so much you can do in a match this short with nothing going on.

Post match Slick goes after Ware but Tito Santana pops up to rip off Slick’s suit as he and Ware have been having issues lately. Santana and Ware clear out Reed too.

We recap Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title. Savage injured Steamboat with an ax handle to send Steamboat throat first into the barricade and then crushed his throat with the ring bell. Steamboat returned anyway and wanted revenge while teaming up with George Steele, who had been feuding with Savage for several months.

Savage is ready to beat Steamboat and get him out of the ring because he is the lord and master. “History beckons the Macho Man.” What an amazing line.

Steamboat says they are going to meet like titans and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat, with George Steele, is challenging and Miss Elizabeth is with Savage, who gets a face pop so big that even commentary has to acknowledge it. They lock up to start and Steamboat shoves him to the floor as Ventura says Steamboat was able to come back because he has a lot of throat. The armdrags have Savage in trouble and Steamboat lifts him up with a choke.

Back in and Savage gets in a kick of his own as even Monsoon has to admit that Savage is pretty incredible. Steamboat comes back with a crank on the arm and snaps it over the top but Savage elbows him in the face. Savage drops a knee for two but gets sent face first into the buckle. A crossbody gives Steamboat two and it’s another armdrag into some shoulder blocks. Savage comes back with a jumping knee to the back but Steamboat is fine enough to skin the cat.

That just earns him a clothesline over the top because as good as Steamboat is, Savage is incredibly smart in his own right. Another running knee sends Steamboat crashing over the barricade, with Steele having to help him back over while the referee yells at Savage. Ventura gets on Monsoon, who wanted managers to be less hands on. Monsoon: “That’s not a manager. That’s a friend.” I feel terrible for this one but screw off with that nonsense Monsoon.

The top rope ax handle drills Steamboat and an atomic drop gets two back inside. Steamboat flips out of a belly to back suplex and backdrops Savage over the top for a heck of a bump to the floor. Back in and Steamboat dives off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head (I love that shot). Steamboat starts firing off the chops and Savage is knocked outside again. A sunset flip and some rollups get two each on Savage as even Ventura has to admit that this match is incredible.

Steamboat catapults him face first into the post for two but Savage pulls the tights to send Steamboat shoulder first into the post. Back up and a reversed whip takes out the referee and Savage hits his signature clothesline (where he lands on his back for some reason). The top rope elbow connects….and there’s no referee. Savage goes to grab the bell but Steele shoves him off the top, with Savage crashing down onto said bell (close enough). Back up and Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:31 in one of the most famous finishes in history.

Rating: A+. I mean…what do you want me to say? Yeah it might be a cliche to say this is one of the best matches ever but that’s exactly what it is. You have two of the best of all time in a match that was way ahead of its time with the fast pace and near falls. There’s nothing close to bad in the whole thing and it feels like it is one of the biggest showdowns you’ll ever see. In short, this is a classic for a reason, or in this case, multiple reasons.

Savage goes back in the card with his head in his hands, completely destroyed.

Jake Roberts, with Alice Cooper, is ready to get revenge on Honky Tonk Man for hitting him with a guitar.

Honky Tonk Man thinks the fans want to hear his song rather than something by Alice Cooper.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Jimmy Hart and Alice Cooper are here too. Roberts jumps him to start and knocks him outside before the Elvis suit can come off. The beating goes to the floor, with Roberts getting in a slam as the beating is on in a hurry. Back in and Roberts charges into a knee in the corner but he’s right back with the short arm clothesline. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor, where he manages to post Roberts for a breather.

Back in and the middle rope fist drop hits Roberts, followed by an elbow to the face (by “Honk” according to Monsoon). The Shake Rattle And Roll (he couldn’t get past the Shake) is broken up and Roberts is back with an atomic drop. There’s a backdrop to Honky Tonk and he gets tied in the ropes for some right hands. The DDT is teased but Hart grabs the leg, allowing Honky Tonk to get a rollup (with a grab of the rope) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C. There was only so much to get out of this one as Honky Tonk wasn’t going to have the best matches and this was more about Roberts’ revenge. That’s not what he got anyway, but it’s not like Roberts was ever going to win many big matches. Honky Tonk Man had something much bigger coming, but you wouldn’t have bet on it here…which is kind of the entire point.

Post match Hart and Cooper get in the ring, with Roberts holding Hart back so Cooper can throw Damien on him. This show has been very full of sore losers.

Gene Okerlund announces the attendance record.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the villains and is still in his torn suit. Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem, which draws out newcomer Jim Duggan (yes the 2×4 has an American flag) to break it up because THIS IS AMERICA. The villains jump them from behind to get started but are sent into the corners to cut them off. Blair comes in to work on Sheik’s arm and the Bees take turns working on said arm. Everything breaks down as the ring is full of trash from the anthem.

Sheik elbows Brunzell down and it’s back to Volkoff for a bearhug (which has Brunzell looking like he’s being tortured to death). A suplex (almost a Jackhammer) gives Sheik two but Brunzell knees him down. The referee misses the tag thanks to a distraction though and everything breaks down. Sheik camel clutches Brunzell so Duggan blasts him in the back with the 2×4 for the DQ at 5:51.

Rating: D. This is a good example of a match that did not need to be here and served little more than to stretch things out until the main event was ready to go. It really didn’t need to happen and it’s not like there was much going on anyway. If nothing else, it continues to amaze me that Sheik and Volkoff were a team for so long. They won the Tag Team Titles two years ago at the first Wrestlemania and they’re still here.

Post match Duggan says he’ll do that every time Volkoff tries to disgrace America. As Ventura puts it: why are the Bees ok with Duggan costing them a match? Shouldn’t they be mad?

Andre The Giant is ready to be the World Champion and Bobby Heenan agrees.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant. They had been friends for years but then Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and asked why he never got a title shot from Hogan. Andre snapped (well as much as he’s ever going to snap) and tore the shirt off of Hogan’s back (ripping his cross off by mistake in the process), challenging him for the title at “the Wrestlemania.” Hogan agreed and it’s time for the biggest match of all time.

Hogan is ready and poses.

Bob Uecker, the guest ring announcer and Mary Hart, the guest timekeeper, are brought out.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Andre, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging. Hogan’s entrance is rather incredible, with him getting the big spotlight and walking all the way to the ring as Ventura does the tale of the tape (and even admits that Hogan’s biceps are “phenomenal”). Ventura: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That’s pretty accurate, yep. The bell rings and we get the staredown, which is your next iconic shot of the show.

Hogan wastes no time in Hulking Up before hammering away and trying a slam, only for Andre to fall onto him. This gives us a VERY close two, which was controversial enough that it enough for the feud to continue for another year. Andre slowly starts in on the back and hits a pair of slams before stepping over Hogan to keep him down. Some whips into the corner make it worse as Andre is barely having to do much here, mainly because he couldn’t. Andre misses a headbutt and hits the corner, allowing Hogan to hammer away for the hope spot.

Ten straight rams into the buckle have Andre staggered but he gets the boot up to cut off the charge. The bearhug goes on for awhile (I still don’t get the criticism that this kills the match as it’s really not that long) but Hogan slugs away for the break. A running shoulder has Andre staggered again until he hits a big chop. Andre boots him out to the floor but accidentally headbutts the post.

Hogan, ever the hero, pulls back the floor mats and tries a piledriver, which is easily blocked with a backdrop. Back in (I can give you the commentary word for word from here on) and Andre misses a big boot, allowing Hogan to drop him with a clothesline. Heenan is beside himself as Hogan Hulks Up and slams Andre (there’s your other iconic shot) to drop the leg and retain the title at 11:32. Ventura: “UNBELIEVABLE!” If you could sway Jesse, you could get anyone.

Rating: B-. No it isn’t particularly good, no it isn’t anything that hasn’t been done better and no it was never going to much better than that. What mattered here was giving Hogan the win against the biggest (non-Sammartino) name of the previous generation. It’s a VERY simple story (Hogan gets hurt, he gets beaten down, he survives long enough to Hulk Up and uses the power of Hulkamania to slay the Giant) but it was a good enough stadium match to get by. That and the whole “it’s the biggest match ever” kind of helps.

Andre and Heenan leave in the card, with Heenan’s head in his hands as he realizes he’s lost everything. Hogan poses a lot and gets in his cat, which is elevated so more people can see him in a smart move.

Ventura and Gorilla wrap up the show and we get a stills package to end the show, set to Aretha Franklin.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve watched this show more times than I can count for over thirty years and that’s because it just works. It’s a perfect example of a show that flows so well, with only a few spots that drag. The show has twelve matches and two of them break nine minutes. Even the worst matches on the card are out of there quickly enough that they don’t do much damage, which is part of the reason why the show is just over three hours.

At the same time, this was the show that set the standard for what Wrestlemania would become. Rather than a big house show or whatever the second edition was, it was “here’s a huge main event with enough on the undercard to fill a stadium”. That would become the standard for Wrestlemania down the line and it started here, making it one of the most important shows of all time.

Overall, Wrestlemania III is a show that changed the way the wrestling world worked and it still works to this day. You could tell that everyone was wanting it to go as well as it could and for once they actually pulled it off. No the matches aren’t all great, but it has that huge feeling that you cannot fake. It’s a show that will always work and I was enjoying it all over again here, which isn’t something you see very often. Check it out again if you haven’t in awhile, or even if you have really, as it’s always worth the time.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C-

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2025 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Sweet goodness I’ve been all over the place with this show over the years.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

We’re at forty years since the show first took place and that is more than worth another look. In case you don’t know your history (and you should), this is the apex of the Rock N Wrestling Connection that launched the company into the stratosphere in the 1980s. The huge main event is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff. This is the definition of an all time spectacle show, even if it’s really little more than a huge house show for its day. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which is more like opening credits to a movie, showing the upcoming matches.

Gene Okerlund sings the National Anthem, which was reportedly a replacement for a more well known (yet unnamed) singer who pulled out at the last minute.

Tito Santana is ready to face the Executioner, even though he doesn’t know much about him. No one is going to stop him from achieving his goals, whatever those might be.

The Executioner gives a rambling promo about how he’s going after Santana’s leg, which had been banged up in recent weeks. That’s ALL he’ll be doing as he proves that he’s a big leaguer. This was pretty terrible, but Executioner was hardly some revolutionary or deep gimmick.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Monsoon doesn’t know anything about the Executioner, other than he’s undefeated. He’s also Buddy Rose under a mask but that’s not exactly something you bring up here. They run the ropes to start and Santana sends him to the floor as commentary talks about how amazed they are by this whole show. All six minutes of it so far! Back in and Santana works on the arm but gets sent into the corner, followed by a headbutt, which Monsoon speculates could be one of Executioner’s signature moves. Not that they can tell anyway, though that doesn’t sound like ONLY going after the leg.

Thankfully Executioner does start in on said leg but Santana kicks him away. Executioner goes up and gets slammed down, only to get his knees up to block a splash. Santana kicks him over the top though and hits the flying forearm back inside. The Figure Four makes Executioner give up at 5:39, with the timekeeper taking forever to ring the bell for some reason.

Rating: C-. And that’s how Wrestlemania starts, with a glorified squash. Santana talked about being mad at Vince McMahon over starting the show when he had headlined Madison Square Garden before, but Vince said that was the point: yeah you’re a headliner, but this show is big enough that you’re just the opening match. I’m not sure how realistic that is based on the show we’ll be getting, but DANG that’s a great response.

SD Jones is ready to get down with King Kong Bundy.

Bundy, with Jimmy Hart, thinks it makes sense that the biggest man on wrestling is on the biggest show in history.

SD Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Bundy drives him in the corner, hits the Avalanche splash, drops another splash and wins at 24 seconds. For reasons of “wrestling likes to hype things up to a ridiculous degree”, they call it 9 seconds. Monsoon even says the previous record was 23 seconds, but instead of dropping 2 seconds off to say 22 seconds, they had to go ridiculous and look silly.

Matt Borne is ready for Ricky Steamboat.

Ricky Steamboat is ready for Matt Borne.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Borne is better known as the original Doink The Clown and was a noted head case. They lock up to start until Steamboat starts chopping away to take over. An atomic drop gives us the classic 80s sell job, with Steamboat even mocking Borne a bit. Borne gets in a running knee to take over but Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner without much effort. Back up and Borne grabs some suplexes, only for Steamboat to come back with a belly to back suplex of his own. A neckbreaker and knee drop set up the high crossbody to finish for Steamboat at 4:39.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all with Borne feeling a bit better than the usual jobbers trotted out here. Steamboat was clearly still establishing himself but the talent and look were more than enough to make it work. The crossbody at the end was quite the leap and Steamboat looked good all the way through.

David Sammartino is ready to shut Brutus Beefcake up. Bruno Sammartino threatens Luscious Johnny Valiant with violence.

Johnny Valiant isn’t going to be threatened and Beefcake says nothing, by design.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Bruno Sammartino and Luscious Johnny Valiant are here too. The bell rings but we have to wait for the sake of Valiant disrobing Beefcake. After over a minute of stalling, they lock up with Beefcake shoving him into the corner. David’s attempt at a lockup only meets Beefcake’s strut as commentary suggests that a loss here could set either of their careers back up to two years. That’s uh, quite the stretch.

Anyway, David wins a wrestle off and Johnny swears the David is too oiled up. David armdrags his way out of a slam and gets some advice from Bruno. That advice: “Find a new line of work. You’re not very good at this.” Beefcake comes back with a headlock, with David having to power out before working on the legs. The leg cranking continues, with David working on a spinning toehold to keep things on the mat.

A rake to the eyes gets Beefcake out of trouble and he hammers away, slowly of course, as we wouldn’t want this to be interesting. David fights up but gets tossed outside, where Johnny gets in a slam on the floor. Bruno comes over for the save and everyone brawls inside for the double DQ at 11:43.

Rating: D+. There’s really no way around it: David was not very good. There was nothing that made him stand out in the slightest, other than his last name of course, and that’s all he was running on. It’s great to see Bruno on the show, but he was only there because of his son, with vice versa being true as well.

Post match the Sammartinos clear the ring, followed by a rare botch from Fink, who says both teams were disqualified.

Greg Valentine is ready to show how great he really is.

Junkyard Dog thinks he could buy a lot of bones when he wins the Intercontinental Title. Uh yeah. Bones.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine, with Jimmy Hart, is defending. They circle each other a bit to start before Dog starts working on the arm. A shot to the face drops Valentine, who misses a forearm to keep him in trouble. Dog does the all fours headbutts, which have Valentine on the apron for a needed breather.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the arm before switching over to the leg, which is more his style. Dog fights up and punches his way out of the corner, setting up even more headbutts (which work rather well for him). Valentine does the big face first fall and the fans are rather pleased.

Hart gets up on the apron but accidentally gets dropped by Valentine….who rolls Dog up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:00. Hold on though as here is Tito Santana to tell the referee what happened, which is apparently enough to restart the match. Not that it matters as Valentine just stays on the floor for the countout at 6:55.

Rating: C-. Dog’s all fours headbutts are always amusing for some reason but that’s about all there was here. The match wasn’t very long and that’s probably because leaving the Dog out there for much longer wasn’t going to be a good idea. It didn’t help that Valentine’s big feud at the time was with Tito Santana, so this didn’t feel like an important title defense anyway.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Captain Lou Albano hopes the US Express can retain the titles. How lame does that sound?

Tag Team Titles: Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. US Express

The Express, with Captain Lou Albano (as canceled out by Classy Freddie Blassie), is defending. Rotunda and the Sheik start things off with Rotunda wasting no time in taking him over off a headlock. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow before avoiding Sheik’s running boot, which hits Volkoff by mistake. Volkoff is fine enough to come in, where he gets headlocked just as fast.

The Express start taking turns on Volkoff’s arm but Sheik gets a boot up in the corner to cut Rotunda off. Sheik’s gutwrench suplex (that needs to be used more often) connects but Rotunda is right back with a suplex of his own. The abdominal stretch goes on, allowing Monsoon to get in his first ever Wrestlemania complaint about the execution. That’s broken up and it’s back to Windham to clean house, including a nice dropkick to Volkoff. The bulldog connects but Sheik makes the save as everything breaks down. In the melee, Windham gets hit with Blassie’s cane and Volkoff gets the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C. This was the “let’s get a title change on the show to make it feel historic” and that’s fine. Volkoff and the Sheik were a rather nice foreign heel team, with Sheik being a former WWF Champion giving them a bit more legitimacy. They didn’t hold the titles long, but they lasted another two years as a team, which isn’t half bad.

In the back, the new champions are happy and Blassie has no idea about any cane. Never seen it at all.

Big John Studd, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to prove that he is a real giant by retiring Andre The Giant. It’s Andre’s career against Studd’s $15,000 in a Bodyslam Match. The only thing I can think of: dang that is a nice WWF duffle bag.

Big John Studd vs. Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan (wearing a different suit than in the interview from earlier in the day) is here with Studd, you win by slamming your opponent and it’s $15,000 vs. Andre’s career. Studd jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner but a single headbutt sends him to the floor. Back in and Andre backs him into the corner for the big hips to the ribs.

They grapple against the ropes, which starts a SLAM chant as things slow WAY down. Andre grabs a bearhug and then a headlock as Monsoon thinks you need to absolutely destroy Andre to end his career. Or just slam him. For some reason Andre works on the arm before kicking away at the leg. Then Andre just slams him for the win at 5:54.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty terrible, with the pop for the slam being the only thing of note. The problem here, in addition to the two of them not doing much, is how do you build up a match like this? A slam is such a basic move so there isn’t much that can be done to set it up. The fans loved Andre, but dang this didn’t work.

Post match Andre grabs the bag and gives away some of the money, but Heenan steals the bag back and runs off with it. Monsoon: “He absconded with the funds!”

In the back, Andre is happy with his win and we fade away with him still talking. Well that’s rude.

Wendi Richter, with Cyndi Lauper, is ready to win the Women’s Title back. Lauper knows how to be a manager now!

Women’s Champion Lelani Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is ready to retain.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is defending and Cyndi Lauper is here with Richter. This might not seem like much but this is the fallout from the angle that led to the whole show starting in the first place. Lauper helps Richter beat Moolah for the title but Kai cheated to take it away, meaning it’s time for the rematch. After a semi-famous shot of Lauper and Richter running from the back to the ring, down that famous blue hallway, we’re ready to go.

They fight over a lockup to start and Kai powers her into the corner, only to get forearmed straight back down. A fight over arm control goes to Richter and Kai taps over and over, which isn’t going to mean anything for about eight more years. Back up and Kai grabs her own armbar, allowing her to crank away for a long time. Back up and Richter drives her into the corner, where Moolah and Lauper get into it on the floor. Richter grabs a fireman’s carry slam but runs into some knees in the corner. Kai goes up for a high crossbody but Richter rolls through for the pin and the title at 6:11.

Rating: D. The pop at the end was great but that was the end of the positives. I know women’s wrestling was in a VERY different place at this point, but this one didn’t have much in the way of positives. Even the ending wasn’t well done and Richter looked more like she stole the title rather than beating Kai.

Post match the heroes celebrate in a big moment.

In the back, Richter and company are happy with the win. Richter may have been a star, but dang she isn’t much of a talker.

It’s main event time so Billy Martin (former New York Yankees manager on a number of occasions) is brought in as the guest ring announcer. We get guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes to the ring with the Rockettes for the kicks. If that’s not enough, Muhammad Ali is the guest referee to quite the hero’s welcome. Well the guest outside referee but that’s fine enough.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by a pipe and rum band because they’re the biggest villains in the world. We don’t get any recap here, but in short, Piper went after Cyndi Lauper, she got Hogan to help her, Orndorff helped Piper, Mr. T. jumped the barricade, they needed a special show for the blowoff, Wrestlemania is born. Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton are the seconds to make it an even bigger spectacle.

The place just goes nuts for Hogan, and we get another famous shot as the good guys walk through the back for their entrance. Hogan and Orndorff start things off but Piper comes in and T. wants to join him. They come in and slap it out until Piper wrestles him to the mat without much trouble. T. kind of wrestles out and they stare at each other again. A fireman’s carry slam puts Piper in the corner and everything breaks down, with Ali, Orton and Snuka all coming in, with Ali swinging at Piper and Orton.

The villains tease leaving but they come back in for a double noggin knocker. An atomic drop puts Piper down and Hogan bounces his head off the mat. Back up and a rake to the eye gives Piper a breather and Hogan is sent outside for a slam on the floor. A chair to the back has Hogan in real trouble and a double atomic drop back inside makes it worse. Orndorff misses a top rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in T. as everything breaks down.

Piper front facelocks T. down again as he’s making sure to show that T. can’t wrestle at all. That’s broken up and Hogan comes back in, only to get caught with a suplex. Orton comes in so Snuka decks him and is immediately taken out. Orndorff grabs Hogan and Orton goes up but the top rope cast shot hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin at 13:34.

Rating: C+. It’s the definition of a spectacle match and that’s all it needed to be. This was about having Hogan and T. getting their hands raised in way or another and they made that happen. T. was pretty much nothing and didn’t do anything important but stand there, which is probably best for everyone. The ending wasn’t in any serious doubt and that’s not a bad thing in a spot like this.

Post match Piper decks referee Pat Patterson and leaves, with Orndorff being left alone in the ring with everyone else. Orndorff finally leaves and posing/awkward standing around ensues.

The celebration continues in the back with T. talking about how he was training for weeks but this was still hard. Hogan praises T. and Snuka and says they all reign supreme. Snuka calls it a pleasure for him to have been in their corner.

The arena empties out and commentary wraps things up.

A stills package and the credits finish the night.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the thing: this show is not about the wrestling, which was ok at best with a lot of matches that weren’t particularly good. The point of this show was that it happened and was presented as a major event, especially the star studded main event. This show was supposed to be the biggest event ever in wrestling and while it might not have actually been that big, it FELT that big and that’s what matters more than anything else. It’s the definition of a show that you should probably see at least once, even if it’s mediocre at best. Middle of the road show, but all time wrestling event.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2025
Date: February 1, 2025
Location: Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 70,343
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett, Pat McAfee

It’s time for the first ever February Royal Rumble and we’re in a stadium to make things even bigger. That makes things all the more interesting and the show definitely has a big time feeling. This will also mark John Cena’s final Royal so the stakes are even higher than usual. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the entrance on my right.

Various people advertised for the show did in fact show up.

Stephanie McMahon joins us for a special welcome and tells us just how big this show really is.

The opening video is, shockingly enough, narrated by Pat McAfee, who praises Indianapolis for its heart and grit and sports legacy, which is now getting in on the Royal Rumble. This switches into the usual “this is about going to Wrestlemania” and it just feels awesome. We even get a brief intro to the Royal Rumble concept, which is a smart idea for new fans.

Women’s Royal Rumble

2 minute intervals and Iyo Sky is in at #1 and Liv Morgan is in at #2. This is also the debut of the AWESOME info graphics on the screen, which includes things like past winners, times, current people involved and what’s on the line etc. That is an OUTSTANDING addition, especially for a match this chaotic and gives it a “real sports feel”. Sky blocks an early Oblivion attempt and they fight up against the ropes to no avail. Roxanne Perez is in at #3 and manages to knock both of them down.

Lyra Valkyria is in at #4 (The graphics tell us that there are four active, zero eliminated and the next entrant will be #5. That is going to be VERY helpful when things get crazy and my goodness it’s awesome to see) and takes over on Perez but has to pause to fix her top. Morgan is smart enough to knock her down so the wardrobe can be fixed (with a referee running over to help). Chelsea Green is in at #5 to send Morgan to the apron and then points at the sign.

That earns her a big group beatdown and it’s B-Fab in at #6. Everyone goes up against the ropes to no avail and it’s Ivy Nile in at #7. Suplexes (and rhythmic YOU SUCK chants) ensue, including a double to Green and B-Fab. Zoey Stark is in at #8 and hits a top rope swinging neckbreaker to drop Perez. Morgan almost gets Green out but she hangs on despite a flurry of kicks.

Lash Legend is in at #9 and gets to clean house with the big power displays. Legend and B-Fab kick each other down at the same time and Green gets rid of B-Fab for the first elimination. Bianca Belair is in at #10, giving us a grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Valkyria, Green, Nile, Stark, Legend and Belair. That means Belair gets to show off for a bit until Shayna Baszler is in at #11. Baszler gets to take out some arms until Valkyria kicks her in the head. Nile tosses Valkyria as we continue the tradition of midcard champions having less than great luck in these things.

Bayley is in at #12 and cleans a bit of house before getting into a staredown with Sky. They seem to decide to work together until Sonya Deville is in at #13. The Pure Fusion Collective (Deville/Stark/Baszler in case you’re not one of the 18 people who don’t remember them) starts taking over but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Maxxine Dupri is in at #14 and gets stared down by the Collective, who are taken down as well. Dupri German suplexes Nile and actually kicks her out to quite the reaction. The celebration takes too long though and the Collective gets rid of Dupri.

Naomi is in at #15 and Blockbusters Green before slowing down a bit. The Collective is tossed out in a row and the ring is cleared WAY out in a hurry. Jaida Parker is in at #16 and gets in a Tear Drop in the corner to crush Green. Parker, Legend, Naomi and Belair have a four way staredown so Green tries to get involved, which goes as badly as you would expect. Legend kicks Parker in the face and gets tossed by Green, only to run into Belair and Naomi.

Piper Niven is in at #16 and Green wants her help, meaning hiding behind Niven, who slams Naomi. Niven accidentally knocks Green out though and it’s time to scream a lot. Natalya is in at #17 and drops Perez but can’t get her out. Jordynne Grace is in at #18 to quite the reaction and gets sent to the apron but manages to get back inside and knock Parker out. Grace Death Valley Drivers Niven to a heck of a reaction and it’s time to have a staredown with Naomi (they have a history in TNA).

Instead they hug and start beating people up until Michin is in at #20. That gives us a grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Belair, Bayley, Naomi, Niven, Natalya, Grace and Michin. Niven Piper Drivers Michin to knock her silly….and Alexa Bliss is back at #21 to a ROAR. This lets commentary get in a bunch of shots at dirt sheets, who swore that Bliss wasn’t going to be back. Bliss and Bayley have a big staredown and it’s Zelina Vega in at #22.

That means people can pair off again with little going on until Candice LeRae comes in at #23. Things slow down again and it’s Stephanie Vaquer in at #24 and feeling like she’s one of the biggest stars in the match the second she hits the ring. A springboard crossbody connects and the Devil’s Kiss makes it even better. Trish Stratus returns at #25 and gets to clean a bit of house before being knocked down.

Raquel Rodriguez is in at #26 and immediately helps her friend Morgan. That means a Codebreaker to get rid of Natalya, followed by another one to get rid of Bliss (the fans are NOT happy). Charlotte makes her big return at #27 (of course) and gets to clean house, including knocking out Michin. Charlotte manages to suplex Vaquer and Grace before dumping Niven (yep it’s happening) but gets dropped by Morgan and Rodriguez.

Giulia is in at #28 and headbutts Grace out as Nia Jax is in at #29. Jax immediately tosses Vega and LeRae is out too. Stratus slugs away at Jax, including the licking hand chop. Jax tosses her as well though and it’s Nikki Bella making the big return at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Belair, Bayley, Naomi, Vaquer, Rodriguez, Charlotte, Giulia, Jax and Bella. Everyone gets together to go after Jax, who shoves them all away.

Vaquer has to hang on with her feet danging but Jax tosses Vaquer, Sky, Belair, Naomi, Rodriguez and Morgan in the span of about fifteen seconds. Bella hits a spear but can’t get rid of Giulia. Charlotte, Perez and Giulia fight on the apron with Perez knocking Giulia into the post for an elimination. Bella forearms Bayley out but gets tossed by Jax, leaving us with Charlotte, Jax and Perez. Charlotte and Perez go after Jax, who gets sent over the top and crashes out. A big boot is enough to get rid of Perez to give Charlotte the win at 1:10:16.

Rating: C. There were some fun moments in here, but this took WAY too long to really get going. There were a lot of times when there was nothing going on between the entrances and it was just sitting around waiting for the next big name to come in. Throw in the ridiculous “Jax eliminates a bunch of people” feeling like you’re having a battle royal with toys and it’s time to go to bed and this was a rough sit. It’s far from terrible, but rather dull and that’s not a great thing. Oh and well done Charlotte on coming back after over a year away and just beating the entire division in one match. That’s very nice of you.

Time to sign point!

Godfather, Mickie James and Kurt Angle are here.

We recap DIY vs. the Motor City Machine Guns. The Guns showed up and won the Tag Team Titles in their third match but DIY turned heel to cheat them out of the titles. Now it’s 2/3 falls for the titles.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. DIY

The Guns are challenging in at 2/3 falls match. Ciampa and Sabin start things off with a Gargano distraction letting Ciampa grab an early Willow’s Bell for two. Gargano comes in to take over but Sabin knocks him away. Ciampa comes back in and gets kicked into the corner where….there is no tag but Gargano comes in anyway. Shelley goes after Gargano anyway and walks into a jumping knee from Ciampa for the first fall at 3:23 in a brilliant heel move.

The second fall starts with Shelley still in trouble and the champs taking turns beating him down. Shelley kicks his way out and goes over for a tag but Ciampa breaks it up in a great move. Back in and the tag does bring in Sabin but the referee doesn’t see it (that will always work). A Shatter Machine drops Shelley for two, who then cuts off the slingshot spear, allowing the tag to Sabin. Everything breaks down and Sabin hits a big springboard dive to take out the villains on the floor.

Back in and a tornado DDT drops Gargano, followed by Skull & Bones for the pin on Gargano at 9:09. Everything breaks down (again) and the Fairy Tale Ending/superkick combination gets two on Shelley. Sabin is back up with an assisted powerbomb/Sliced Bread combination for two on Ciampa, with Gargano shoving Sabin in for the save. Skull & Bones is loaded up but cue a masked man to distract the referee, allowing Angelo Dawkins to crutch Shelley in the back. Meet In The Middle retains the titles at 14:03 (as Gargano looks confused but he’ll take it).

Rating: B-. The action was good and I loved the ending to the first fall, but my goodness I felt bad for them out there. The fans just did not care and the match might as well have been a junior high dance recital. It was far from bad and the action was fine, but the ending was lame and the fans were just not interested whatsoever.

Post match Dawkins and the masked man (Angelo Dawkins of course) jump DIY.

We look at Pat McAfee’s NFL career in this building.

Some fans get special tickets.

Ron Simmons, Rick Steiner and Rob Van Dam are here.

We recap Cody Rhodes defending the Smackdown World Title against Kevin Owens. Rhodes teamed with Roman Reigns, which Owens saw as a betrayal after his war with Reigns and the Bloodline. Owens then attacked Randy Orton and put him on the shelf. Then Owens got cheated out of winning the title (allegedly) at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Owens then laid Rhodes out with a package piledriver and stole the Winged Eagle title. Therefore, it’s time for a ladder match for the title.

Smackdown World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Cody Rhodes

Owens is challenging in a ladder match and comes out wearing a “Canadian Dream, Son Of A Security Systems Technician” shirt because Owens is awesome. They start fast with the brawling and head outside, with Rhodes being sent into the ladder. Owens beats on him with a kendo stick and they fight into the crowd with Rhodes getting the better of things. They go back to ringside with Rhodes having to cut off a climb and sending Owens hard into the ladder.

Rhodes goes up but gets knocked down with a miniature ladder. Owens teases a splash off the mini ladder but gets back down, apparently not in the high risk business. Rhodes is up with the little ladder to the ribs, followed by a toss into the face. Rhodes drops him on the mini ladder and goes up, with Owens pulling him away to leave Rhodes hanging in the air. He gets back to the ladder but gets pulled down into a powerbomb for a hard crash.

They head outside with the big ladder being pulled out but Rhodes rips a rung off the bottom. That winds up going onto Rhodes’ head and Owens plants him again. The ladder is knocked down and turned on its side, where Owens loads up a package piledriver. Rhodes manages to avoid a bad case of death by countering into a backdrop and they’re both down. Back up and Owens sets up a bridged ladder but Rhodes catches him on top.

For some reason Rhodes tries a superplex and gets superplex onto the bridged ladder for the crazy landing. Cue a bunch of referees, plus Nick Aldis and Sami Zayn, to check on both of them. Owens is up first and goes after Rhodes, who sends him into the ladder to bust Owens open. Rhodes gets all fired up and they go outside, with Owens hitting him low for the save. Another package piledriver is loaded up but Rhodes reverses into the Alabama Slam through the bridged ladder. Owens is DONE and Rhodes retains the titles at 25:06.

Rating: B+ This felt like it was going to be a war and then that’s exactly what they delivered. These guys beat the living daylights out of each other and it felt like they were out for blood with the title just being a detail. That’s what makes a match feel great and they pulled it off here, with an absolute fight and one of the best matches Rhodes has ever had. Unfortunately this is the kind of match that ruined Owens’ neck over the years, but yeow it was entertaining in the process.

Rumble By The Numbers.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals with Rey Mysterio in at #1 and Penta in at #2. They stare at each other to start, with Penta doing CERO MIEDO. A running hurricanrana sends Penta to the apron but he gets back in with only one foot touching. They get back inside with Chad Gable in at #3 and suplexing Mysterio to the apron. The luchadors get together on Gable until Carmelo Hayes is in at #4. Hayes and Gable get together to fight back and take over until Santos Escobar is in at #5.

Escobar gives Mysterio a 619 but runs into Penta, who is quickly caught in a Canadian Destroyer. Mysterio is back up with a 619 to Escobar but can’t get him out. Everyone is down and it’s Otis in at #6 to clean house, but the Caterpillar is cut off by Gable’s ankle lock. One heck of a slap to the face rocks Gable, who manages a German suplex to Otis. Bron Breakker is in at #7 to quite the reaction.

The spear cuts Hayes in half and he’s out in a hurry, followed by the super Frankensteiner to Gable. Another spear hits Escobar and he’s out as well. Akira Tozawa is in at #8 but spends too much time posing and gets jumped by a departing Carmelo Hayes. Tozawa is taken to the back, where Triple H sends streamer IShowSpeed into the Rumble in his place, which is apparently something that he can just do. Speed actually eliminates Otis and then gets hit with a massive spear from Breakker. That’s it for Speed, even with Otis catching him on the way down.

Sheamus is in at #9 and forearms Gable and Breakker from the apron before he even gets inside. He does get inside and knocks Mysterio down as Jimmy Uso is in at #10. That gives us Mysterio, Penta, Gable, Breakker, Sheamus and Uso as the ring isn’t getting as clogged as it did in the women’s edition. Andrade is in at #11 and kicks away before going up top, where he is cut off by Penta.

Jacob Fatu is in at #12 and this is about to get violent. A double Samoan drop takes down Mysterio and Penta, with Gable, Mysterio and Andrade being tossed. Then it’s a Breakker vs. Fatu staredown, which has the fans rather interested. That’s broken up before anything can happen and it’s Ludwig Kaiser in at #13. And then he’s out in just a few seconds. Breakker manages to stay alive and Miz is in at #14.

Miz almost gets rid of Breakker but does manage to hit Penta with a super hurricanrana. Fatu shrugs off a kick to the head and counters Miz’s springboard (because Miz did a springboard) with a Samoan drop. TNA World Champion Joe Hendry is in at #15 and gives Miz the fall away slam. The Standing Ovation plants Miz again but Fatu runs Hendry over with a shoulder. And none of that matters as Roman Reigns is in at #16 and Miz and Sheamus are quickly out.

Hendry gets in a kick to the ribs but a single spear cuts him down and he’s out as well. Breakker is up with a spear to Reigns, though it’s way too early to dump him, as Reigns tosses Breakker instead. Uso is out as well and we get the Reigns vs. Fatu showdown. Reigns puts him down and Drew McIntyre is in at #17. McIntyre wins a slugout with Reigns and Fatu gets up to help with the stomping.

Finn Balor is in at #18 and gets taken down in the corner for a double teaming from Reigns and Penta of all people. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #19 and gets in a staredown with Penta. That doesn’t go anywhere as Penta hits a running step up Canadian Destroyer on Fatu. Balor throws Penta out and it’s Jey Uso in at #20, giving us Fatu, Reigns, McIntyre, Balor, Nakamura and Uso. Nakamura is quickly tossed by Uso but replaced as AJ Styles is in at #21.

Styles drops Uso and it’s a staredown with Fatu, who has done quite a few of those so far. A big backdrop takes Styles down and McIntyre helps hammer on him until Braun Strowman is in at #22 (who was recently taken out by Fatu in a big beatdown). Strowman goes right at it with Fatu and actually throws him out, leaving Fatu to freak out at ringside. Back in and Strowman gets jumped by McIntyre and it’s John Cena in at #23 to really send the fans into a frenzy.

Fatu keeps glaring as he leaves and low bridges Strowman out. Balor is AA’d out and Reigns gives McIntyre a spear, allowing him to stare at Cena. The fans are definitely into that but CM Punk is in at #24. They stare at each other and nothing happens as Seth Rollins is in at #25. Rollins immediately goes after Punk before trying to clothesline McIntyre out. Punk breaks that up by going after Rollins and it’s Dominik Mysterio in at #26. Reigns isn’t having any of his nonsense and hits a Samoan drop, followed by some choking in the corner.

Sami Zayn is in at #27 and Helluva Kicks Zayn before switching off to Punk. Damian Priest is in at #28 and chokeslams the heck out of Mysterio, which is enough for the elimination. LA Knight is in at #29 and jumps over Styles for the elbow to Cena. A neckbreaker takes Styles down and Knight slugs it out with Uso. Knight hits a belly to back slam to put Uso down before McIntyre tries to toss Zayn. Uso’s superkick puts Zayn out by mistake and Uso actually takes the blame.

Logan Paul is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Reigns, McIntyre, Uso, Styles, Cena, Punk, Rollins, Priest, Knight and Paul. The star power is certainly on display here. Priest knocks McIntyre out and Knight tries to get rid of Paul. Instead Paul jumps from the apron to the announcers’ table to save himself. Knight BFT’s Priest and throws him out, leaving us with eight.

Styles loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but Paul pulls him down and gets rid of him, leaving us with Reigns, Uso, Cena, Punk, Rollins and Paul. Rollins is up with a superkick to Punk and the Superman Punch into the Stomp plants Cena. That leaves us with the big Reigns vs. Rollins showdown and they…shove each other a lot. Reigns tries to clothesline Rollins out but Punk is up to toss both of then.

Paul sneaks up and throws Punk out, leaving us with a three way staredown on the floor. Rollins Stomps Reigns on the floor and then brawls with Punk until they’re separated. That’s fine with Rollins, who Stomps Reigns onto the steps for a bonus. That leaves us with Cena, Paul and Uso, who we suddenly remember are in the match. The double AA is broken up and it’s a superkick to knock Paul off Cena’s shoulders, allowing Cena to knock him out. That leaves us with Cena and Uso for quite the final two.

They stare each other down and then slug it out with Cena firing off the running shoulders. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Uso is back up with a superkick. The spear drops Cena again but he’s able to knock Uso out to the apron. Cena joins him on the apron and a superkick has him very staggered. The AA is escaped though and Uso slips back inside to shove Cena out for the upset win at 1:20:10.

Rating: A-. This was all about the star power and the drama, which went along with one of the biggest surprise winners in Rumble history. That’s a great way to make someone into a bigger star and Uso has certainly earned the chance. The segment with Punk and Rollins and Reigns and Cena was outstanding and pure drama, leaving me wondering about where everything was going to go. That’s on top of the pretty great opening part to the match, which built up so well. I had a great time with this match and the hour and twenty minutes flew by. Great Rumble.

Post match Cena shows respect and leaves Uso to celebrate on his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show was a better Women’s Royal Rumble away from being great, but as it is, it’s just rather good. As usual, the Royal Rumble is all about the show’s namesake shows and the men’s version is more than enough to carry the night. The women’s version brings it down, with the ladder match being more than enough to pick up some slack. It’s a rather good show, but dang it could have been that much better.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2024
Date: January 27, 2024
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 48,044
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s time for the look back at last year’s show which set up one of the biggest WWE events of all time. This show is designed to set up the main events of WrestleMania LX and that means it is time for Roman Reigns to get a new challenger. Speaking of Reigns, he is defending the title in a four way match. Let’s get to it.

Today, various people scheduled for the show did in fact come to the show.

Hulk Hogan narrates a video about how important this area is to wrestling. You have to be RUMBLE READY because it is time to start the Road To Wrestlemania.

Earlier today: even more people came to work.

Pat McAfee comes out for commentary, with Corey Graves going on a hilarious rant about how much he hates this happening two years in a row.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Natalya is in at #1 and Naomi (in a surprise return) is in at #2. We get a handshake to start before Natalya takes her down, only to have the step over dropkick cut off. They hit stereo crossbodies and Bayley is in at #3. The Rear View puts Natalya down and Naomi drops Bayley, only to have them sit there so Natalya can hit a double basement dropkick (that looked awful). Candice LeRae is in at #4 and gets in a few shots to leave everyone down.

TNA Knockouts Champion Jordynne Grace is in at #5 and doesn’t get much of a reaction but she looks like a star. Grace cleans house and you can tell McAfee is impressed. We get a hug between Naomi and Grace (who beat Naomi to win the title) and the brawl is on. That doesn’t mean any eliminations yet though as Indi Hartwell is in at #6. LeRae and Hartwell team up as Cole says that we’ve never had two winners in a Royal Rumble, save for that time when we did.

Asuka is in at #7 and teams up with Bayley, who looks rather nervous. Hartwell and Asuka go to the apron with Bayley getting rid of Hartwell for the first elimination. Ivy Nile is in at #8 and impresses McAfee with her rather impressive strength. Katana Chance is in at #9 and anklescissors LeRae. Nile and Grace have a delayed suplex off before Nile hits a loud enziguri.

Bianca Belair is in at #10 and the place is rather impressed. We have Natalya, Naomi, Bayley, LeRae, Grace, Asuka, Nile, Chance and Belair, with the latter getting to clean some house, including a double Blockbuster to Bayley and Asuka. As usual, Belair gets to show off for a bit until Kairi Sane is in at #11 to give us three members of Damage CTRL. The three of them get to beat up various people but not actually toss anyone as the ring is getting way too full. LeRae sends Asuka and Sane to the apron, only to have Bayley make the save and toss LeRae in a big crash.

Tegan Nox is in at #12 and wrecks some people but Grace cuts her off. Natalya makes the save and gives Grace a discus lariat. Natalya goes to throw Nox out but gets tossed instead, with Bayley getting rid of Nox as well, leaving them both stunned on the floor. Katana Chance is in at #13 and is so distraught at losing the Women’s Tag Team Titles last night that she stops to dance.

Sane is sent over the top and one of her feet touches and she tries to hang on to the apron, only to fall down for the elimination (I’m not sure if that was the plan). Asuka is kicked out a few seconds later and Bayley yells at the rest of the team for being eliminated. Chelsea Green is in at #14 and is immediately sent to the apron twice in a row before hitting a Zig Zag on Belair. We get the Grace vs. Belair slugout and they go to the apron, where Belair hits a KOD for the elimination.

Piper Niven is in at #15 and catches Green as we get a set of nifty time counters for various entrants. A bunch of people get together to beat on Niven and it’s Xia Li in at #16. Li racks Green, who kicks at Niven by mistake for a not so great result. Zelina Vega is in at #17 and has what must be some weird cosplay deal. Vega gives Niven a tornado DDT as there are far too many people in there and the pace has slowed down a lot. Maxxine Dupri is in at #18 and does her SHOOSH before dropping to the mat to hide from Niven.

Vega and Belair team up for a Code Red to put Niven down. A bunch of people can’t get rid of Niven, who eliminates Carter. Nia Jax is in at #19 so Li goes after her, only to get knocked out in a hurry. Nile is out as well and Niven accidentally splashes Green. Jax does it in purpose and then gets rammed into Green in the corner for a funny bit. A bunch of people go after Jax, who then charges at Niven, with Green getting crushed between them. Naomi hits a springboard enziguri to Jax who, say it with me, falls onto Green as well.

Shotzi is in at #20, giving us Naomi, Bayley, Belair, Chance, Green, Niven, Vega, Dupri, Jax and Shotzi as the ring is WAY too full again. A bunch of people get together to go after Jax, who shrugs them off. Bayley gets rid of Dupri and Jax tosses Green and Niven. Chance is tossed out onto the pile as well and it’s Becky Lynch in at #21.

Lynch goes right after Jax and DDT’s Vega and Shotzi at the same time. She throws Jax into Bayley as Green is back in, apparently not being thrown out. Lynch knocks her out without much trouble so that was nothing, especially after her hilarious bit earlier. Alba Fyre is in at #22 and hits a double Gory Bomb on Shotzi and Vega. Ignore that Vega didn’t actually hit anything on the way down. With no one else out, Shayna Baszler is in at #23 to start going after arms.

Valhalla is in at #24….and here is R-Truth to take her place and enter the match by mistake. Jax throws him out anyway as Adam Pearce is here to say Valhalla is in and R-Truth is out. Then Jax throws Valhalla out without much trouble. Michin is in at #25 and goes after Fyre before Rock Bottoming Bayley onto Baszler. Naomi is up with a hanging Pedigree to get rid of Fyre as things slow down again.

Zoey Stark is in at #26 with a missile dropkick on Michin. The brawling continues, with Baszler blocking a hurricanrana fr Vega, who is kicked out in a heap. NXT’s Roxanne Perez is in at #27 and snaps off a headscissors on Stark. Bayley jumps Perez but can’t get rid of her as Jax throws out Baszler and Michin. Shotzi is tossed out and Jax is the only one left standing…..but Jade Cargill is in at #28. She gets one heck of a reaction and slugs it out with Jax, whom she picks up for a one armed Widowmaker. Cargill throws Jax out and even Lynch realizes that was awesome.

Cargill’s charge hits the post though and everyone is down as Tiffany Stratton is in at #29. She immediately flip dives onto a bunch of people and hits an Alabama Slam on Perez. The returning Liv Morgan is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Naomi, Bayley, Belair, Vega, Lynch, Stark, Perez, Cargill, Stratton and Morgan. The pace is picked up until Stark kicks Morgan in the face, only to get knocked out without much trouble.

Stratton kicks Perez out so everyone surrounds her, only to split off and start the brawls. Cargill and Belair have stereo gorilla presses and then drop Morgan and Lynch for the mega showdown (the fans approve). Naomi gets spinebustered by Cargill, who tosses Lynch and Naomi in quite the moment.

Morgan and Belair are sent to the apron, with Stratton being pulled out with them. A Codebreaker staggers Stratton but she grabs Belair’s hair for the save. Bayley kicks both of them out, leaving us with Bayley, Cargill and Morgan. They all wind up on the apron and Morgan eliminates Cargill, only to get kicked out by Bayley for the win at 1:04:57.

Rating: C+. This was only so interesting as there isn’t quite enough depth to get all the way to thirty entrants in this kind of thing. The top spots were good with Bayley getting a long awaited win, but other than that there were some long stretches which were needing something better. Get rid of some of the dead spots in the middle and it’s better, but this only got so far.

Come to St. Petersburg!

We recap the four way for the Smackdown World Title. Roman Reigns pinned LA Knight about two years ago so now Knight, Randy Orton and AJ Styles want the title.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman, is defending. We get a long staredown to start before all of the challengers go after Reigns in a smart move. Styles and Knight get in a fight of their own though, leaving Orton and Reigns to brawl out to the floor. Knight and Styles join them, with Knight sending Styles face first into the announcers’ table. Orton drops Reigns onto the same table and then goes after Knight as it’s time to switch off.

Knight gets the better of things, only to miss a charge and get dropped onto the table for a big crash. Orton takes Reigns back inside for the circle stomp before stopping to powerslam Styles. Knight is back in to stomp Orton down though as the back and forth start continues. Orton and Styles go outside, leaving Reigns to clothesline Knight in the corner. Reigns drops Styles as well and the fans certainly seem to approve.

It’s Knight getting back up with a DDT to Reigns and a slam to Orton, setting up a middle rope bulldog. The jumping superplex brings Styles back down and there’s the BFT to Reigns to get the crowd up again, only for Styles to make the save. Styles fights up and strikes away with the Styles Clash hitting Reigns for two and Knight making the save this time. Back up and Reigns tries the Superman Punch but Orton RKOs him out of the air in a sweet counter for another near fall, with Solo Sikoa pulling the referee out.

Sikoa isn’t done as he Samoan Spikes Orton and Knight before stacking Knight onto Orton (which doesn’t seem overly bright). The running Umaga Attack against the barricade misses Styles though and Sikoa is down. Styles comes back in with a Phenomenal Forearm to knock Reigns onto the other two before getting a triple cover for two, even though that normally means the first person getting a cover (Knight in this case) wins.

Styles grabs a chair and beats on Reigns, then does the same to Knight. Orton breaks that up with a low blow but gets speared out to the floor. Knight goes after Reigns but the BFT is broken up, which breaks up the Styles Clash as well. With Knight down, the spear to Styles retains the title at 19:24.

Rating: B. Rather nice stuff here with everyone going in there and trying hard, with the time flying by. Reigns winning wasn’t exactly in doubt with a milestone Wrestlemania on the horizon, but at least he had to put in the work to get there. If nothing else, it’s nice to see the other three getting a chance, as it has been awhile for most of them.

We recap Logan Paul defending the US Title against Kevin Owens. Paul is the rather braggadocios US Champion while Owens is here o shut him up. They’ve taken turns attacking each other and Paul has injured Owens’ hands.

United States Title: Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul

Paul is defending and offers a handshake but Owens chops him down instead. They’re quickly on the floor and Owens sends him hard into the barricade. Back in and a rather big chop sets up a release German suplex, meaning it’s time to go back outside. Owens drops a backsplash but Paul gets smart by going after the bad hand. Back in again and a high crossbody takes Owens down.

An armbar goes on but Owens elbows his way out of an Octopus. With nothing else working, Paul goes simple by punching Owens’ bad hand. Paul misses a 619 though, allowing Owens to hit a hard clothesline. Another backsplash hits raised knees though, as I continue to love watching someone learn during a match. Back up and Owens stomps away in the corner, setting up a pair of Cannonballs. The frog splash connects but a Swanton hits Paul’s raised knees.

Paul misses a Swanton of his own though, only to hit a Buckshot Lariat. A frog splash gives Paul two but he tries a superplex, which you just do not do to Owens. The swinging superplex gives Owens two but the Stunner is blocked. Paul’s big right hand drops Owens for a near fall and now it’s Paul’s turn to be shocked.

One of Paul’s goons tries to bring in some brass knuckles but the referee cuts it off and has said goon ejected. Cue A-Town Down Under for a distraction though and Paul gets the brass knuckles…which Owens takes away and uses to knock Paul out. The referee sees said knuckles though (McAfee: Oh NOW the referee has 20/20!”) and that’s a DQ at 14:01.

Rating: B. It was a good fight and there is something to be said about a bit of a twist ending rather than Paul just getting the pin. If nothing else, Owens is at his best when he’s upset about something and the ending should fit in well. Paul gets to keep bragging about being champion too and that is good for just about everyone. Well mainly Paul but you get the idea.

Post match Owens puts Paul through the announcers’ table. Then he takes a cough drop.

Hulk Hogan really wants you to come to St. Petersburg.

Elimination Chamber is in Australia.

Wrestlemania is in 70 days.

The attendance is 48,044, a new stadium record. Uh, yay.

Rumble By The Numbers!

30 entrants
1,310 entrants
34 winners
2.6% have won
20 have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania
1 woman to enter at #1 and win
20 eliminations for Ripley all time, a record
1:01:08, Ripley’s record time in the Rumble
1:11:40, Gunther’s record time in the Rumble
60% of the winners have come from the last ten entrants
#30 has produced the most winners (5)
3 who have won consecutive Royal Rumbles
3 wins for Steve Austin, a record
3rd time Tampa will host the Royal Rumble (1995/2021)
8 eliminations for Shayna Baszler, the most in a single women’s match
9 two time winners
13 eliminations in one men’s Rumble by Brock Lesnar
Natalya is one of four women to compete in all women’s Rumbles
45 eliminations by Kane over 18 Rumbles, both records
3,653 days since CM Punk has been in a Royal Rumble
34,000,000 social media engagements for the Logan Paul vs. Ricochet clip from last year
9 people have won their first World Title off a Royal Rumble win
60% of winners from the last five years have won the World Title at Wrestlemania

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Jey Uso is in at #1 and Jimmy Uso is in at #2. They stare each other down to start until Jimmy is punched out to the apron. That’s not enough for an elimination as Jimmy is back in to strike away, but the jumping enziguri misses. Jey superkicks Jimmy down but the Superfly Splash hits raised knees to leave them both needing a breather. Grayson Waller is in at #3 and naturally he runs his mouth about how awesome he is. Jey knocks him of the apron before he can get in, only to come in and team up with Jimmy for some double teaming.

Andrade returns at #4 and cleans house (or as much as you can with two heels in the ring) but can’t get rid of anyone. Carmelo Hayes is in at #5 and we get a three way staredown with Hayes, Andrade and Jey. That’s broken up and Hayes gets rid of Waller without much effort. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #6 and the fans sing his song. Jimmy seems to approve and gets kicked in the head as a result. The freshly heel Santos Escobar is in at #7 and we get straight to a showdown with Andrade. They hug and pose but Andrade isn’t interested in a Legado del Fantasma pose.

Karrion Kross is in at #8 and everyone goes to the general brawling. With that not going anywhere, Dominik Mysterio is in at #9 and the fans are not happy. It takes a good while for him to get in and he is quickly taken into a corner for some not so near eliminations. Carlito is in at #10, giving us Jey, Jimmy, Andrade, Hayes, Nakamura, Escobar, Kross, Mysterio and Carlito at the one third mark. Carlito goes after Escobar who bails to the floor, leaving Carlito to load up the apple. Escobar gets it in the face and is then tossed out to clear some of the ring.

Bobby Lashley is in at #11 and starts throwing some not great looking spears. One of them is enough to get rid of Kross so here are the AOP for a distraction, allowing Kross to pull Lashley out for the elimination. The big bawl is on with the Street Profits running out to even things up. They all go up the aisle and brawl to the back as Ludwig Kaiser is in at #12. He goes after Dominik for a bit of a weird one and everyone pairs off until Austin Theory is in at #13. The flipping Downward Spiral plants Jey and more brawling ensues as we need someone to clear the ring a bit.

Finn Balor is in at #14 and Hayes is tossed in a hurry. Cody Rhodes is in at #15 and this should pick things up a bit. The Cody Cutter gets rid of Theory but Balor takes Rhodes down and they slug it out. Bronson Reed is in at #16 and gets rid of Andrade. Nakamura and Rhodes slug it out with Nakamura hitting a spinning kick to the face as Kofi Kingston is in at #17. A Disaster Kick and Cross Rhodes get rid of Nakamura and Kaiser is out shortly thereafter.

Gunther is in at #18 and chopping ensues, setting up the staredown with Gunther. That’s broken up and Kingston gets Gunther out to the apron, earning Kingston an elimination (no special save this time). Ivar is in a #19 and hits a powerslam, setting up the slugout with Reed. NXT’s Bron Breakker is in at #20, giving us Jey, Jimmy, Mysterio, Balor, Rhodes, Reed, Gunther, Ivar and Breakker.

A spear immediately hits Jimmy and a running clothesline gets rid of him. Another spear gets rid of Balor and it’s time for Gunther vs. Breakker, which has the fans’ interest. Gunther slips out of the gorilla press but Breakker gives him the spear to quite the reaction. Omos is in at #21 and takes his sweet time getting to the ring. House is quickly cleaned and Reed is knocked out with a big boot. Breakker spears a springboarding Ivar out of the air and gets rid of him before staring up at Omos.

Pat McAfee is in at #22 and looks more than a bit surprised at the news. He sees Omos and Breakker waiting on him and eliminates himself in a funny moment. McAfee has claimed that he didn’t know this was coming and I’d believe it. McAfee: “HOW BIG IS THAT THING IN THERE????” Breakker dumps Omos and Mysterio knocks Breakker out (after a star making performance), with Cole and Graves making up trash talk that Breakker said about Omos.

JD McDonagh is in at #23 and gets speared by Breakker on the floor before he can get in. Cody and Gunther fight some more as R-Truth is in at #24 (the same number he entered the women’s match in for a nice touch). He throws McDonagh in so McDonagh can be properly eliminated, only to stand on the apron or a tag to Mysterio. Naturally Mysterio tags him in (because) and he goes after Omos to little avail.

Miz is in at #25 for an Awesome Truth reunion but Truth saves Mysterio. Gunther breaks that up and Mysterio gives Miz a 619 as Damian Priest is in at #26. Truth is out in a hurry and Priest cleans house, including South Of Heaven to Gunther. CM Punk is in at #27 and gets to do a bunch of running knees in the corner. Mysterio is tossed but Priest decks Punk with a discus forearm.

Ricochet is in at #28 and gets to fly around a bit as Gunther tosses Miz. Drew McIntyre is in at #29 to make things a bit bigger. A bit of house is cleaned, including a heck of an overhead belly to belly to Ricochet. Jey superkicks Gunther almost to the apron but gets pulled out himself to end a rather long run. Sami Zayn is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Rhodes, Gunther, Priest, Punk, Ricochet, McIntyre and Zayn. The pace picks up as Zayn goes after McIntyre, who recently beat him up pretty badly.

Priest avoids being tossed out but Ricochet can’t do the same as we’re down to six. A variety of suplexes and kicks ensue until Sami gets rid of Priest, only to be dumped by McIntyre. We’re down to Rhodes, Punk, Gunther and McIntyre and everyone needs a breather as Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns watch from a sky box. Gunther and Rhodes pair off as McIntyre chops away at Punk in the corner.

The Cody Cutter seems to wake Gunther up as he hits a hard clothesline to Rhodes. We get the McIntyre vs. Gunther staredown but they go back to what they were doing instead of fighting. A neckbreaker puts Punk down but the Claymore misses. The GTS is blocked and it’s the Glasgow Kiss to drop Punk again. Gunther sleepers Rhodes but gets Claymored by McIntyre. Another Claymore hits Rhodes and McIntyre is the only one standing.

There’s a Claymore to Punk to complete the set but McIntyre would rather yell at Punk than get him out. That’s enough for Punk to toss McIntyre, who looks absolutely crushed. Gunther dropkicks Punk and gives him a powerbomb before sending Rhodes to the apron. Rhodes pulls Gunther to the apron as well though and Gunther is out, leaving us with two. They slug it out and then slug it out some more with Punk getting the better of things.

Rhodes gets in a powerslam but the Cody Cutter is countered into some rolling German suplexes. That’s broken up but so is Cross Rhodes, allowing Punk to put him on the apron. Back in and Cross Rhodes connects, only for Punk to get in a desperation GTS. Punk gets him out to the apron but Rhodes is right back in, meaning it’s a Pedigree to take him down again. Another GTS is blocked though and Rhodes throws him out for the win at 1:08:16.

Rating: A-. This was a heck of a Rumble with some entertaining spots throughout and a bunch of good stuff. The last bit felt epic and, despite Punk’s big injury (as he tore his tricep while fighting McIntyre), the final two had a heck of a showdown. Cody winning is the right call as he is on the way to his destiny in Philadelphia and he had to get there from here. I liked this one a lot as they kept things moving and I wasn’t bored at all.

Rhodes celebrates for a good while and points at Roman Reigns in the sky box (yeah don’t bother teasing that Rollins stuff as there is zero point in this case). Reigns holds up the title and looks a bit nervous.

The big highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B+. The Women’s Royal Rumble was the only thing close to a weak spot and even then it was good enough. The rest of the show was one hit after another as we are starting to get exactly what we need out of WWE. I liked this a good bit and you can feel the energy around here, which is rather nice to see. Heck of a show here, with Wrestlemania on the horizon as the really big prize.

Ratings Comparison

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-
Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul

Original: B
Redo: B

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: B-
Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B+

I totally shortchanged the Men’s Royal Rumble the first time around as it’s way better than that.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This is a show that I remember liking at the time but aside from the ending to the Rumble itself, almost nothing springs to mind about the show. I’m curious to see what that means as this was kind of a weaker time for the company. Hopefully they can make this work, as the Rumble can be all over the place. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features a bunch of people saying they want to win the Royal Rumble and a voiceover asking who is going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Bryan is defending in a cage and Cole cannot stand him. Also Bryan is mad at Show for running over his girlfriend AJ Lee, though it isn’t clear if it was a setup. Bryan gets sent into the corner to start, leaving Show to splash Henry against the cage. For some reason Bryan tries to kick at Show, who throws him against the cage for his efforts. The WMD hits cage, with Bryan dropkicking the leg out to take over.

Bryan kicks away at Henry as well but it’s way too early to escape the cage. Henry: “CLOSE THAT DOOR!” Bryan gets slingshotted into the cage but Show is back up with a superkick. That leaves Show to go after Bryan, with the big slow shots in the corner keeping Bryan down. Henry is back up to go after both of them as commentary discusses Bryan and AJ’s relationship.

Henry misses a charge into the cage and gets speared by Show to give Bryan two. Bryan’s tornado DDT plants Show (which has Lawler far too impressed) and the LeBell Lock goes on. Henry breaks that up but gets caught with the WMD. Bryan tries to escape and gets over, but Show grabs his hand. Show basically does some curls with Bryan, who eventually falls down to retain the title at 9:08.

Rating: C+. This was a nice story with Bryan having to escape from the two monsters who were basically playing with him. Bryan was still trying to get everything together at this point, as he certainly had the skill but he was making his transition into being a main event star. That took some time, mainly due to winning the title via the Money In The Bank briefcase, but that has been an issue with the concept for a long time. The match was entertaining though, even with Bryan almost retaining by accident.

Video on John Cena, who won’t change who he is, even as we hear from some fans who are on either side. We also see a bunch of his promotional work for WWE and my goodness the build to his match vs. Rock was outstanding. It makes me want to watch it again, so they’re doing something right.

Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina

Natalya headlocks Tamina down to start but it’s off to Eve for a dancing moonsault. Phoenix comes in and gets clotheslined down so Brie can come in for a chinlock. This lets commentary compare Twitter followers until Eve gets up for the tag off to Fox. The chinlock goes on again but Eve fights out and hands it off to Kelly. The screaming headscissors ensues and everything breaks down. Kelly gets beaten down on the floor and everyone joins in, allowing Kelly to get up top for a big dive onto the pile. Back in and Brie kicks Kelly in the face, allowing the Glam Slam to finish Kelly at 5:28.

Rating: D+. It’s a bad sign that the best thing you can say about a match is “at least it was short” but that’s about all this one had. The women’s division was not in a good place at this point, with Phoenix being one of the few bright spot. There were talented people in this match, but it doesn’t matter if they don’t get to do anything.

We recap Kane vs. John Cena, which has seen Kane being the unstoppable monster and wrecking Zack Ryder, who has come off like a total loser in the whole thing. Kane has left him in a wheelchair as well as the US Title, likely because Ryder got over on his own.

Ryder, in a wheelchair and a neck brace, arrives with girlfriend Eve Torres joining him. Johnny Ace is here too and mocks both of them a bit, with neither being impressed.

Kane vs. John Cena

Kane fires off the uppercuts to start but Cena is back up with a running clothesline. That’s enough to send them outside, with Cena whipping him knees first into the steps. Kane slugs him right back down inside and sends him into the corner, setting up a chinlock. The comeback is cut off with another uppercut and a bulldog attempt is casually shoved away.

A neck snap across the top rope doesn’t get Cena very far either, as Kane drops him again. The smother hold is countered into an STF, which is countered into a side slam to drop Cena again. The top rope clothesline connects and a big boot gives Kane two, meaning it’s frustration time. Kane’s superplex is broken up and it’s a super Five Knuckle Shuffle but the AA is broken up as well. They fight outside and that’s enough for a rather lame double countout at 10:57.

Rating: C-. This was a bad time for Cena, as he had the biggest match of his career coming up in a few months, but that didn’t leave him with much to do on the way there. That was on full display here, as this feud with Kane went on for a long time and never felt important in any way. Throw in the ending being about setting up a rematch and it was even worse.

Post match they brawl into the back with Kane being sent into various things. Kane comes back with a chair and breaks into Zack Ryder’s private room, knocks Ryder out, and kidnaps him. They go into the arena, where Kane Tombstones him, even with Eve Torres watching. Cue Cena for the save but Kane gives him a chokeslam and leaves everyone laying.

Video on The Rock, who is one of the world’s biggest movie stars. And he’s handsome. And charismatic. And did I mention a star?

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Clay dances to start, gets clotheslined in the corner, suplexes McIntyre and What The Funk finishes at 1:04. Sweet goodness him getting away from WWE was the absolute best thing he could have gone.

We recap CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler for the former’s Raw World Title. This is more about Punk vs. Johnny Ace, who Punk can’t stand for being such a miserable failure at everything. Ace caused Ziggler to pin Punk to earn the title shot and made himself guest referee. He’s guaranteed that he’s going to screw Punk over, which has officially put him UNDER REVIEW, which has him backpedaling. Oh and Ziggler is here too. The last part of the video features Ziggler saying not to forget him. It’s not a great look but here we are.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler, with Vickie Guerrero, is challenging and Johnny Ace is guest referee. Hold on though as Ace says he’ll be the outside referee with a regular referee in the ring. Actually hold on again as Ace tosses Vickie, which follows a previously established stipulation. The threat of a GTS has Ziggler worried to start so Punk knocks him into the corner. Punk grabs an abdominal stretch and hammers on the ribs before sending him outside.

The dive misses though and Ziggler takes over back inside, including the jumping elbows. The sleeper goes on for a bit before the running Fameasser is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Punk hits a running neckbreaker but Ziggler reverses a high crossbody into a rollup for two. The top rope elbow gets two more but the referee gets bumped, which you knew was coming.

Punk grabs the Anaconda Vice for the tap, though Ace is checking on the referee. A rollup gets the same treatment so Punk goes after Ace, only for Ziggler to knock Punk into Ace. The GTS connects but Ace still won’t count, saying Punk jumped him on purpose. Another GTS is countered into a Fameasser (that was great) for two and they’re both down. Back up and Punk hits a second GTS for the pin, with both referees counting the three at 14:32.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together, though Ace being boring and unfair was quite the negative. The whole feud was built around the idea that Ace wasn’t interesting and they made that quite clear here. It was a good match, which shouldn’t be a surprise, but just drop the Ace stuff already.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars
1 winner
31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble
21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania
695 entrants who have been eliminated
39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)
13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show
421,883 people who have attended the Rumble
62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record
3 wins for Austin
1 second that Santino lasted in 2009
2 women who have competed in the Rumble
1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each
27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four
55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals. Miz is in at #1 and Alex Riley (Miz’s former goon) is in at #2. They stare at each other to start and Riley goes after him but misses a charge. Miz stomps him down to start and gets the pretty easy elimination. R-Truth is in at #3 and hammers away, including a kind of powerslam. That’s enough to throw Miz to the apron but not out as Cody Rhodes is in at #4.

A Beautiful Disaster hits R-Truth and the double teaming is on, with R-Truth getting knocked down into the corner. Justin Gabriel is in at #5 and goes after Rhodes as the four of them pair off. We get a pair of brawls in the corner until Primo is in at #6 to continue a not so star studded start. R-Truth hits the running forearm on Rhodes but gets tossed by Miz, who goes to the floor (under the bottom rope) to go after him. That means a Little Jimmy to drop Miz on the floor while the other three are still inside. Mick Foley is in at #7 and tosses Primo before continuing the brawling.

Ricardo Rodriguez is in at #8, complete with Alberto Del Rio’s music, gear, and…that’s about it, as he drives out in a banged up car (bad paint, ugly seat covers, trash bag for a window) and isn’t in the best condition. Naturally the fans love him, even as Foley drops him with a right hand. Foley and Rodriguez actually get together to eliminate Gabriel and it’s Santino Marella in #9. Marella starts in with his usual and gets rid of Rodriguez. That leaves Marella vs. Foley so yes we do indeed get the Cobra vs. Mr. Socko showdown, with the expected reaction of the crowd going bananas.

Epico is in at #10 and is quickly tossed, leaving us with Miz, Rhodes, Foley and Marella. Rhodes gets up to toss Marella so it’s Socko to Miz, only for Rhodes to toss Foley as well. Kofi Kingston is in at #11, giving us quite the talented three way. Kingston takes over and hits a double Boom Drop but the numbers catch up with him in a hurry. Jerry Lawler is in at #12 (Booker is shocked and Cole is stunned) and ducks Miz’s left hand, which hits Rhodes by mistake. Lawler gets in his usual offense and goes up, only for Rhodes to knock him out.

Ezekiel Jackson is in at #13 as Booker praises Lawler, who has returned to commentary. Jackson gets to clean house and it’s Jinder Mahal in at #14. The entrance takes forever as Mahal has to get out of his gear before going after Jackson. Great Khali is in at #15 and gets rid of Jackson and Mahal without much trouble. Hunico (with Camacho and the gold bicycle) is in at #16 and does about as much as you would expect.

Booker T. is in at #17 and Cole absolutely loses it (You know where this is going, though neither Cole nor Lawler noticed that Booker wasn’t wearing pants?) as the fans go nuts. Miz throws Kingston over the top but Kingston skins the cat to stay alive. Kingston gets shoved out anyway….but LANDS ON HIS HANDS AND WALKS BACKWARDS TO THE STEPS in one of the most ridiculously awesome saved you’ll ever see. Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) is in at #18 as things start to slow down a bit.

Jim Duggan is in at #19 and the fans are rather happy to see him. As you might expect, Duggan certainly brings the energy as he throws those big right hands, only to get knocked out by Rhodes. Ziggler and Rhodes get rid of Booker and Khali at the same time and it’s Michael Cole in at #20 (you knew it was coming and the fan behind him freaking out makes it even better). His entrance takes forever and it’s the returning Kharma (Awesome Kong) in at #21 to immediately drop Cole (Booker and Lawler love it).

That’s enough to send Cole out to the apron, where Booker and Lawler pull him out for good. Kharma goes after Ziggler with a lifting Pedigree but has to stop for some yelling at Vickie. Hunico goes after Kharma but gets tossed, only for Ziggler to dump Kharma out. Sheamus is in at #22 as we have Sheamus, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Ziggler. Sheamus dumps Kingston and fires off the forearms to Miz and Rhodes.

Road Dogg is in at #23 and the fans go nuts all over again (even Cole is happy). Dogg gets in his usual dancing punches until things slow down and it’s Jey Uso in at #24. That means some dancing punches of his own until US Champion Jack Swagger is in at #25. The brawling continues on the ropes and it’s Wade Barrett in at #26. Barrett dumps Dogg to clear the ring a bit and it’s David Otunga in at #27 to clutter it right back up.

Randy Orton (hometown star) is in at #28 and goes right after Barrett, who put him on the shelf for a month. Uso is out and Rhodes and Ziggler get taken down with a double hanging DDT, followed by an RKO to Barrett for the elimination. Chris Jericho is in at #29 and tosses Otunga before things slow down a bit. Big Show is in at #30, giving us a final group of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Swagger, Orton, Jericho and Show (not too shabby). Swagger is out before Show even gets in and gets WMD’d to make it even worse.

Show gets inside and tosses Miz, Rhodes and Ziggler in short order to get us down to four in a hurry. Jericho gets knocked down and it’s an RKO to Show, which doesn’t seem overly bright. Show gets up and Orton tosses him on his own, only to get dumped by Jericho to leave us with Jericho vs. Sheamus (quite the odd pairing). Jericho’s bulldog is countered but he’s right back with a dropkick.

Sheamus is sent out to the apron but hooks his leg around the ropes to survive. He’s able to get back inside, where Jericho catches him in a quick Walls. That’s broken up as well and Jericho gets sent to the apron, where he manages to get back inside as well. They both almost wind up crashing to the floor before getting inside just in time. A Codebreaker drops Sheamus, who is right back with a missed Brogue Kick. Jericho can’t hit the Codebreaker though and gets sent to the apron, where a Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the win at 55:25.

Rating: B. The ending alone here was rather good, with the drama of Jericho and Sheamus being worth a look. At the same time, this Rumble was heavy on the comedy, with the commentary entrances, plus Socko vs. the Cobra. It did have some good moments in between though and I had a good time watching this one back. I remembered liking it well enough back in the day and it was nice to see it live up to the hype.

Pyro and sign pointing take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. The Raw World Title and Rumble are the only things worth seeing here, unless you want to see Bryan in way over his head against some monsters. The problem here is the same as it always was around this time: with John Cena vs. the Rock looming at Wrestlemania, nothing else felt important. They do get some credit for trying something new with Sheamus though, as even though he was a former World Champion, winning the Rumble was a different level. Good enough show, but the Rumble carried the thing.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

It’s another show posted to the WWE Vault and that means it is worth a look. The big feud on Raw is HHH vs. Randy Orton and his Legacy stable and that means it is time for a showdown in the Rumble. Other than that, Edge is trying to get the Smackdown World Title back from Jeff Hardy. Let’s get to it.

We’re in Detroit so naturally there is a car theme.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Hardy backs him into the corner as Striker explains what you need to do to win a title in WWE. Good information but Striker manages to sound annoying no matter what. They head outside with Hardy hitting a hard right hand, followed by a clothesline back inside.

We settle down to Swagger easily wrestling him to the mat, followed by a Gator Roll into a hammerlock. That’s broken up and Hardy grabs his running bulldog out of the corner for two. Swagger runs him over again though and we’re right back to cranking on the arm. A clothesline is blocked and Swagger kicks the bad arm (that’s smart) for two before working on it again.

Back up and Hardy gets smart by using the good arm for a clothesline. Another corner clothesline and bulldog get two on Swagger, setting up the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck for the same. Swagger goes after the arm again and takes Hardy up top, only to get knocked backwards for a not very elevated moonsault to give Hardy two. Back up and the Twist Of Fate is blocked, with Hardy being sent shoulder first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title at 10:28.

Rating: B-. The match was good enough but Swagger really isn’t that interesting. He’s a bigger guy and the Swagger Bomb looked good, but that’s about all he had going for him a lot of the time. Hardy was dropping back down the card and having Swagger beat him here wasn’t exactly a great sign for his career.

Hardy gets a slow walk out and sits on the steps. What a mopey Matt.

Randy Orton arrived earlier today and people weren’t exactly happy with him. He’s rather violent you see.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Phoenix is defending and has Santino Marella with her. Melina gets thrown down a few times to start so she tries striking away. That earns her another knockdown, only for Melina to start working on the arm. Phoenix isn’t having that and powers her up into the air for a drop onto the turnbuckle.

Something like an ankle lock works on Melina’s recent injury, but Phoenix cranks on it so hard that she makes Melina kick herself in the back of the head (that’s rather nuts when you think about it). With that broken up (and probably some leg issues), Melina fights out and gets two off a sunset flip, followed by…I’m not sure what happened but it looked like Melina dove into an atomic drop. Back up and Phoenix seems to try the Glam Slam but gets reversed into a cradle for the pin to make Melina champion at 5:57.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than what you would see from a lot of the women’s division around this point and that shouldn’t be a surprise. That being said, the only thing that really stood out here was Melina kicking herself in the back of the head (not something you often say). Good enough match here, but the women’s division was only starting to get it together again.

We recap JBL challenging John Cena for the Raw world Title. JBL wants the title and, because the economy was a big issue at this point, Shawn Michaels is broke and working for JBL as a result. Basically JBL is offering to pay off Michaels’ debts in exchange for helping him win the title. Michaels hates everything he has to do at the moment but does it because he has no other choice. As usual, JBL is only so interesting and is more surrounded by interesting people than anything else.

JBL tells Michaels that if he wins the title tonight, he’ll pay Michaels off in full and their arrangement is over. Then JBL leaves and Michaels runs into the Undertaker, who says it can be H*** getting to Heaven. And there’s your tease for the Wrestlemania masterpiece.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and has Shawn Michaels in his corner. As usual, Cena just looks weird with the Big Gold Belt. Cena headlocks him down to start but JBL reverses into one of his own as they’re starting fairly slowly. Back up and Cena elbows him for two, with JBL bailing to the floor for a chat with Michaels. Cena grabs a bulldog into the Throwback for two and they go outside, where JBL sends him into the steps for two back inside.

The pace slows WAY down (shocking I know) and JBL grabs a chinlock, followed by a side slam for two. Cena gets knocked outside for a whip into the barricade as JBL on offense continues to just kill any match. A superplex is broken up and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser for two as the comeback is on. The AA is broken up so Cena pulls him into the STF, leaving Michaels looking….we’ll go with sleepy.

Michaels touches the ropes so Cena lets it go, only to be kicked out to the floor for a crash. Back in and the Clothesline From JBL gets two but the referee gets bumped (it was a matter of time). Michaels gets in, superkicks JBL, stares a lot, and then superkicks Cena as well. He puts JBL on Cena and goes to leave, seemingly disgusted with himself. Another referee runs in to count two so Cena gets up and hits the AA to retain at 15:28.

Rating: C-. This is a case where the story works well on paper, but it’s just not that interesting. A good bit of that hangs on JBL, who could talk well enough and played an effective role, but he could not hang in the ring. The Michaels part was basically kicking the story to the next month and that’s only so good. Not much to see here, as even with Michaels, JBL felt like more of an annoyance to Cena than any kind of a threat.

We recap Jeff Hardy defending the Smackdown World Title against Edge. Hardy beat Edge (and HHH) at Armageddon back in December for one of the best feel good moments you’ll ever see in WWE. Then bad things started happening to Hardy, from someone nearly running him off the road to pyro burning his face. Someone is out to get Hardy, who thinks that Edge attacked him before Hardy’s title shot at Survivor Series, while Edge wants to prove that Hardy’s win was a fluke by taking the title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending and looks like the kid who got an ugly sweater at Christmas. Before the match, Vickie Guerrero comes out to make it No DQ and Edge has Chavo Guerrero with him. Hardy drives Edge into the corner to start and stomps away, followed by a running forearm. Edge bails out to the floor so Hardy gives chase, only to grab a chair rather than go in unarmed. This takes a bit too long though and Edge kicks him down, which isn’t a huge surprise given how long Hardy took.

That’s shrugged off and Hardy hits a basement dropkick before sending Edge outside for a big dive. Back in and Edge boots him in the face to break up a springboard and Hardy crashes out to the floor. Hardy gets sent into various things, including all three announcers’ tables, before getting kicked down back inside. A waistlock works on Hardy’s ribs and Edge pulls him down by the hair to cut off a comeback.

Edge gets frustrated so he tries a chair of his own but Hardy hits a running shoulder to knock him off the apron. That means a slingshot dive and they fight to the apron, where Hardy drops him again. Since it’s Hardy vs. Edge, Hardy pulls out a ladder and goes up but has to deal with Chavo. Hardy knocks him off the ladder and hits a dive before posting Edge, who has a piece of paper stuck to his back for some reason.

Ever the genius, Hardy hits a dive off the ladder to put Chavo through the announcers’ table (with the ladder slipping out from underneath him as he jumped for a scary near miss). Back in and Hardy gets two off a high crossbody but Edge boots him in the face for a double down. It’s time to take off a turnbuckle pad, which is enough of a delay for Hardy to hit a Whisper In The Wind for two more.

The back and forth continues with an implant DDT to give Edge another near fall. Hardy is back up with the sitout gordbuster, only to be dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for two more. Instead of countering, Edge tries the spear, which is countered into a Twist Of Fate. Cue Vickie to break up the Swanton but Hardy hits it anyway, only for Vickie to pull the referee. Cue Matt Hardy with a chair to cut Vickie off…and then chair Jeff down with a nasty shot to the head. Edge is stunned as he gets the pin and the title back at 19:24.

Rating: B. These two work well together but Jeff couldn’t have telegraphed the ending any more than when he came to the ring looking all upset. Matt’s turn at the end was a surprise way to go, even after the bit of a tease earlier in the night. Jeff fighting off the odds worked well enough, but at the same time he was going move for move with Edge and that part was even better. It was a good match and felt big, but the title change didn’t come off quite as big as the swerve.

We get the series of replays and rather sad voices from the announcers after the big betrayal. For once, they feel mostly earned.

Rumble By The Numbers!

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors

36 people that Steve Austin eliminated

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

1 woman ever to enter, with Chyna

62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted in 2006

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted in 1989

3 times that Austin won, the most ever

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30. As usual, only Shawn Michaels is mentioned as a winner from that spot

27, which has had 4 winners (John Studd in 1989, Yokozuna in 1993, Bret Hart in 1994, Steve Austin in 2001)

70% of winners who have gone on to win the World Title since 1993.

Some of these have of course been broken since, but dang this works every time.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Rey Mysterio is in at #1 and John Morrison is in at #2. Mysterio starts fast by sliding between Morrison’s legs and kicking him in the face but gets sent to the apron rather early. It’s way too early for that so Mysterio is back in with a springboard high crossbody into a rather spinny headscissors. Morrison manages to hang onto the top even through a dropkick and it’s Carlito in at #3.

The apple goes into Morrison’s face and a swinging neckbreaker drops Mysterio. Carlito’s double springboard moonsault hits Morrison and he stomps away in the corner until MVP is in at #4. MVP gets to fire off some shots, including the running boot in the corner, but Mysterio grabs a headscissors to slow him down. Great Khali is in at #5 though and everyone gets focused. They also get beaten up, with Mysterio’s springboard dropkick barely staggering Khali and the Backstabber not working at all. Everyone is down with no one out as Vladimir Kozlov in at #6.

Kozlov goes after Khali and eliminates him without much trouble (that’s fairly impressive) before dumping MVP as well. A spinebuster puts Carlito down and that’s enough to toss him out too. Mysterio strikes away at Kozlov until a headbutt cuts him off but HHH is in at #7 to make things more serious. Some right hands and the facebuster are enough to get rid of Kozlov and things slow down.

Randy Orton is in at #8 and immediately hits the backbreaker on HHH but the RKO is blocked. Morrison breaks up the Pedigree and Mysterio gives Orton a springboard seated senton. There’s a 619 to Morrison as…JTG of Cryme Tyme (who wins a coin toss with Shad Gaspard, naturally with a double sided coin) is in at #9. That goes nowhere so it’s Ted DiBiase Jr. (part of Orton’s Legacy group) in at #10, giving us Mysterio, Morrison, HHH, Orton, JTG and DiBiase.

Morrison and JTG are sent over the top but both hang on and kick away at each other before getting back in. Mysterio has to hang on as well and can’t quite get rid of DiBiase at the same time. Chris Jericho is in at #11 and still has a lot of pyro. Jericho goes right after Orton but switches to HHH, who blocks a questionable Walls attempt. Things slow down a lot until Mike Knox is in at #12.

Knox goes after Mysterio, who he disliked because Knox is a monster. Legacy goes after JTG in a bit of an odd move and it’s the Miz in at #13. Miz and Morrison can’t do much with Orton, who snaps off a string of RKO’s. The Pedigree cuts Orton off though and HHH gets rid of Miz and Morrison at the same time. Finlay, with Hornswoggle, is in at #14 as Mysterio is thrown over the top but lands on Miz and Morrison to save himself in a nice sequence. The brawling goes on around the ring until Cody Rhodes is in at #15 to complete Legacy.

Mysterio tries a springboard at Orton, who RKO’s him out of the air in another sweet visual. Undertaker is in at #16 and the match stops with everyone forming a line to go after him. House is cleaned but only JTG is tossed out, which doesn’t feel overly important. The Snake Eyes/big boot combination hits Rhodes, and speaking of Rhodes, Goldust is in at #17. Goldust slugs away at Rhodes but walks into the RKO, which lets Orton give Rhodes a bit of a lesson. Rhodes throws Goldust out and it’s CM Punk in at #18.

Punk gets to strike away as we hear about some of his career accomplishments. HHH’s Pedigree is countered into the Go To Sleep and Mark Henry is in at #19 as the ring is way too full. A World’s Strongest Slam hits HHH and Shelton Benjamin is in at #20. That gives us Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Henry and Benjamin for a lot of star power but way too many people overall.

Benjamin hits Paydirt on Finlay before running the corner for a double super Paydirt to Jericho and Punk. The Dragon Whip hits Henry as Benjamin is getting in a heck of a run here. William Regal is in at #21 and goes after Punk before Mysterio low bridges Henry out. Kofi Kingston, still Jamaican, is in at #22 and starts striking away, including the Boom Drop to Knox. Benjamin dives at Undertaker in the corner, who kind of spinebusters him down and then tosses him out in a heap.

Mysterio is hanging upside down on the post as Kane is in at #23. Kane goes after DiBiase but stops to stare at the bloody Undertaker. The double chokeslam plants DiBiase and solo versions take down Kingston and Jericho. Regal is tossed by Punk and R-Truth is in at #24. Kane is sent to the apron but manages to hang on, with Legacy just kind of letting him go in a not so bright move.

Rob Van Dam returns in a surprise at #25 and comes in with a top rope kick to Kane. Van Dam fires off a bunch of clotheslines until Brian Kendrick is in at #26. Kendrick gets rid of Kingston, who didn’t have the fancy saves for a few more years. HHH tosses Kendrick and does his staggering around thing. Dolph Ziggler (still relatively new) gets lucky #27 and is tossed out almost immediately by Kane. Rhodes gives Punk an electric chair drop as we get another slow down.

Santino Marella is in at #28 and is clotheslined out by Kane in one second to break the Warlord’s record. Jericho hammers on Undertaker in the corner and…actually doesn’t get Last Rided for a change. Only in the Rumble. Kane can’t quite get rid of HHH as Jim Duggan is in at #29. The big AMERICAN right hands stagger various people to quite the reaction and it’s Big Show in at #30. That gives us a field of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, Van Dam, Duggan and Show for quite the final grouping.

Kane goes after Show but can’t get very far, leaving Show to eliminate Duggan. Show throws out R-Truth as well but Undertaker can’t do the same to Rhodes. Punk saves himself and strikes away at Show, who still can’t get rid of him. The WMD is enough to knock Punk out though and things are finally/thankfully thinning out a bit. Knox and Mysterio (that’s not much after being in there for so long) are put out at the same time as Hornswoggle comes in for some reason.

Finlay breaks that up but gets thrown out by Kane to get us down to nine. Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the hanging DDT on HHH. Lawler: “This will be worse than being eliminated!” No King, it won’t be. Undertaker wins a slugout with Show and Van Dam hits the Five Star on Orton, only to get tossed by Jericho. Undertaker tosses Jericho and we’re down to Undertaker, Kane, Show, Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes and HHH.

Legacy gets rid of Kane and everyone goes to a corner. A triple team on Undertaker doesn’t work for Legacy, who starts snapping off chokeslams. Undertaker and Show slug it out again until Undertaker kicks him out to the apron. Show gets tossed but pulls Undertaker out with him, setting up yet another feud between these two.

Undertaker and Show brawl into the crowd as it’s down to HHH and Legacy. The trio surrounds HHH, who fires a crotch chop and starts swinging, which doesn’t last long before the beatdown is on. HHH fights out and hits a facebuster and hits a Pedigree on Rhodes. DiBiase is tossed and so is Rhodes, only for Orton to dump HHH for the win at 58:39.

Rating: B-. I haven’t watched this one in a long time and I had a good time with most of it, even with the ring being too full near the end. There is a lot of star power here and most of the deadwood didn’t stay around too long. There were a few good surprises (Van Dam was great) and while HHH and Orton were the only viable options, it felt like there was other stuff going on rather than just waiting around for them to win. Good Rumble here and a nice one to visit after a long time away.

Overall Rating: B. As usual, the Rumble is going to carry the weight of this show because it takes up so much time. That made for a good show this time as the Rumble worked well enough, with the rest of the show supporting it. Well most of it as Cena vs. JBL just did not work very well, but everything else was perfectly fine at worst. It’s a good overall show, especially coming into it completely fresh.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: B-

GEEZ did I just hate Orton when I watched this the first two times? I was surprised to see that I had been consistent in my pretty strong dislike of the Rumble the first two times as it might not be a classic but it’s certainly not a D. The rest of the show mostly lines up, save for the women’s match which was really just ok more than anything else.

 

 

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Cleveland All-Pro Wrestling
Date: February 10, 2001
Location: Garfield Heights, Ohio

Sure why not. I have absolutely no idea what to expect from an independent show near Cleveland from this date as I certainly wasn’t watching the show (as I was taking the ACT the day of this show). This is going to be a completely blind watch and that can make for quite the random set of results. Let’s get to it.

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show and runs down the card. It’s also going to be a TV taping, though this appears to be a fan cam shoot.

I apologize if I don’t get some of these names right as the audio isn’t exactly great.

Judge Krush vs. G-Force

G-Force takes him down with an armdrag to start and G-Force isn’t happy. A headlock takeover lets G-Force grind away a bit, followed by a running shoulder. G-Force’s DDT gets two and Krush is already needing a breather on the floor. This works a bit better as Krush gets to send him back first into the post, followed by some rather clubbing forearms back inside.

There’s a suplex into a legdrop for two but Krush misses a charge into the corner. That doesn’t seem to slow him down very much though as he’s back up with a clothesline and elbow for tow more. G-Force is back up with a dropkick to the ribs and he counters a powerbomb into an X-Factor for the pin (despite Krush raising his shoulder) at 7:03.

Rating: C. I wasn’t exactly feeling this one, as it never quite got to a level beyond mediocre. They were going for something with power vs. speed and that worked well enough, though G-Force, who at least had a good look, never really did much high flying. It’s a nice match on paper, but nothing exactly thrilling in practice.

Post match Krush jumps him again before leaving.

Blade/Rod Destiny vs. Amish Assassin/Matt Wroth

This is billed as an Australian Rules match, which is an old way of saying “tag match”. Destiny (of the evil teal) backs Assassin into the corner to start and it’s already a clean break. A headlock works a bit better for Destiny and he hiptosses the Assassin to the floor for a meeting with Wroth. It’s off to Wroth, who gets chopped by Destiny and suplexed by Blade.

A back elbow gives Blade two but Wroth is right back with one of his own. Something like a pumphandle powerbomb gives Wroth two more and it’s back to the Assassin for a double backdrop. Assassin covers but the referee won’t count, seemingly saying the shoulders aren’t down. That’s a nice touch as you don’t always see that on the top level shows. It’s back to Blade to take over on Assassin, with Wroth being knocked off the apron as well. Something like an Unprettier flipped into a faceplant finishes Assassin at 7:05.

Rating: C. I liked the finish, though the match itself felt kind of random. Maybe these people have a history together, but without commentary it came off as “here are four random guys having a match together”. No one exactly stood out here, though maybe that picks up a bit as the show keeps going.

Canadian Bad Boy vs. Tracy Smothers

The Canadian is a rather good sized guy who dances a lot and has a blonde woman with him. The bell rings and the Canadian heads outside to grab the mic, though he is booed so much that it’s almost impossible to hear a word he’s saying. It seems he doesn’t think much of the women in this town, though the fans seem to think she has an affinity for certain drugs.

Smothers gets the mic and says it’s great to be alive on a Saturday night in Garfield Heights (how familiar). He also threatens to knock the woman out if she gets in his face again. They take turns backing each other into the corner, with the bigger Canadian taking him down and posing a bit.

Back up and Smothers knocks him to the floor without much trouble but Canadian comes back in with a shoulder. More posing and strutting ensue but Smothers knocks him down and grabs an Oklahoma roll for two. A middle rope crossbody gets the same, only for the Canadian to knock him out to the floor. The woman gets up for a distraction so Smothers’ backslide doesn’t get a count from the referee (who has a Carlito level afro and leather pants).

Canadian knocks him down again and we hit the chinlock to keep things slow. Smothers gets up and hits his crescent kick but the woman offers a distraction. She does it again, but this time Smothers avoids a cheap shot and the Canadian knocks her down, setting up a Downward Spiral to give Smothers the pin at 11:53.

Rating: B-. The thing I’ve learned watching Smothers over the years is he’s someone who just “got it”. He knew what kind of style he was going to wrestle and he did just that, bringing the less experienced Canadian right along with him. The match worked well and they kept things entertaining. Nice stuff here, as you can see that Smothers is a step above everyone else on the show thus far.

North American Junior Heavyweight Title: DBA vs. 8-Pac

8-Pac is defending. They run the ropes to start with Pac taking over and sending DBA outside. That means an Asai moonsault to drop DBA and they head inside, where DBA knocks him down for a change. Pac is knocked outside, with DBA having the referee (the leather pants Carlito cosplayer again) drop down as a launchpad ala ECW.

The big dive connects so they can head back inside, where Pac shrugs it off without much trouble. A Texas Cloverleaf doesn’t work so DBA knocks him down again, setting up the Swan Dive for two. Back up and they go through some standing switches until DBA gets a German suplex, but only Pac lifts his shoulder to retain at 7:05.

Rating: C+. It was fine, but my goodness you could see the early 2000s/late 90s style bleeding through them here. Granted that’s not counting the ending, which was basically straight out of the 80s. It’s not a bad match, but like so many other things on this show thus far, there was absolutely nothing standing out whatsoever.

Post match DBA lays him out and spits on him. DBA would win the title the next day.

The video cuts ahead a bit here, which might be an intermission (which was advertised earlier).

North American TV Title: Brad Vaughn vs. Bobby Blaze

Blaze is defending and Vaughn has the same female manager from the Canadian Bad Boy match. The (appropriately) fired up Blaze backs him into the corner and is falsely accused of a hair pull. They go with some grappling, with Blaze getting the better of things off an armbar. A running shoulder drops sets up a headlock takeover, with Vaughn reversing into a headlock of his own to grind away.

Blaze fights up but the woman offers a distraction, allowing Vaughn to stomp him right back down. The abdominal stretch goes on and of course the woman is right there to cheat. With that broken up, a sunset flip gives Vaughn two and he chokes in the corner while shouting a lot. Blaze is able to catch him on top though and a superkick gets two. A superkick drops Vaughn for the same so the woman comes in, with Blaze throwing her onto Vaughn for the pin to retain at 9:04.

Rating: C. Yeah there’s a reason you don’t hear much from Blaze outside of Smoky Mountain Wrestling and his brief stint in WCW. Much like so many other things here, he was perfectly fine and that’s about all I’ve got for him. He’s a generic good guy wrestler and that’s fine enough, but Vaughn didn’t really add much more.

JT Lightning/Doug Gilbert/The Dog vs. Widowmaker/Brian O/Skull Ganz

Widowmaker and company have a female manager (albeit a different once from earlier) and it’s a brawl to start at the bell. Ligntning gets dropped by Widowmaker, with a backdrop getting two. We settle down to Widowmaker headlocking Lightning and shouldering him to the floor, where Lightning has issues with his nipple ring. Back in and Lightning gets caught in an armbar but gets over to the Dog.

Brian comes in to shoulder Dog down and it’s quickly off to Ganz to slow it back down. Dog messes with the refere’s hair and gets taken down with a belly to belly, drawing in Lightning for the save. Back up and Dog chokes away on the ropes but gets knocked outside rather quickly. They get back in with Gilbert slugging away, only to get dropped by Brian. A moonsault gives Brian two and a double backdrop puts Gilbert down.

Lightning comes back in and Dog cheap shots Widowmaker from the apron to take over again. Dog grabs the neck crank and the villains get to take turns beating on Widowmaker. Lightning mostly drops him on a side slam before grabbing something like a Liontamer from someone who has no idea how to do a Liontamer. Dog comes in and yells/barks, earning a beating from Ganz and Brian.

Unfortunately that leaves Widowmaker to get beaten up on the floor, followed by a Fujiwara armbar back inside. Gilbert comes in for an STF, which goes on long enough that Gilbert should never use an STF again. Everything breaks down, with Lightning hitting a big dive to the floor and Dog is left alone with Widowmaker in the ring. For some reason, Brian and Ganz (who are regular partners) get in an argument with Widowmaker and lay him out with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination, giving Gilbert the easy pin at 16:21.

Rating: C. Other than having trouble figuring out who the good guys were supposed to be, I’m more astounded that the Dog of all people got another chance after WCW. Maybe he worked cheap or something but…him? The ending was a bit weird and I’m not sure what led to the screwy finish, but at least it felt like something happened for a change.

Extreme World Title: Hido vs. Sabu

Sabu is defending and I think this is his own title rather than something from the promotion. They go tot he mat to start with Sabu working on the leg until Hido realizes he’s three inches from the rope. Sabu works on the arm before grabbing a reverse chinlock. Back up and Hido hits a clothesline and chokes, meaning it’s time to yell at the referee for breaking it up.

A DDT gives Hido two and he slaps on a cobra clutch. With that broken up, Sabu flips him off the top and naturally throws in the first chair. Hido gets knocked throat first into said chair, which the referee throws out before counting two. They fight out into the crowd and a table is set up, with Sabu being laid on top.

Hido takes way too long going up though and gets super hurricanranaed down, naturally landing on Sabu. That’s good for a very delayed two (on Hido, which has to be specified in Sabu matches) and they go outside again. Sabu sets up a chair inside for the triple jump dive and then puts Hido on the table. There’s the slingshot legdrop and they’re both down again. Back in and the camel clutch retains Sabu’s title at 9:38.

Rating: C+. I guess we’ll call this better than a lot of the other things on the show, if nothing else because it had some different stuff. Sabu knows how to do this kind of match over and over and that was certainly the case here. Hido was a bigger deal in Japan, but it was interesting to see him out here to do something around here for a change.

North American Title: Tommy Rich vs. Ricky Morton

Rich is defending and grabs a mic before the match. He yells about…something I can’t understand but the fans don’t like him. They circle each other for a bit to start and lock up to no avail. Rich takes him down by the arm and Morton isn’t pleased, seemingly accusing him of some cheating. A running shoulder drops Morton again and there’s an armdrag to send make it worse.

Morton comes back with a slam to send Rich outside, only to have come come back in for some choking. Rich takes him to the floor and sends Morton into a table, followed by some stomping and choking back inside. A bearhug keeps Morton in trouble, though him selling is always a good idea. Rich elbows him in the back for two and the referee gets bumped. Morton’s DDT doesn’t get a count so here is…I think Doug Gilbert to give Morton a spike piledriver. The referee wakes up and calls the DQ at 7:22.

Rating: C-. Another dull match to wrap things up, as the two of the might have star power but that doesn’t make them worth watching. Morton is kind of this ageless wonder but Rich….not so much. This felt like two old guys out there getting a payday and while they were trying, there was only so much to get out of a match this boring.

Post match Sabu and Bobby Blaze run in for the save. Morton grabs the mic and doesn’t seem pleased, but does seem to issue a challenge for a six man tag. Rich yells a lot and furniture is thrown as the match is set for tomorrow night to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It wasn’t that the show was bad, but rather just that it wasn’t interesting. There was pretty much nothing on this show that stood out in any way, as it came off more like a show that could have happened for just about any promotion. While this place would wind up getting a better reputation later (Johnny Gargano was a big deal there), this wasn’t a great time and it made for a pretty dull watch.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Yeah another top ten, hopefully with some surprise results.

 

https://www.smarkdownsblog.com/best-wrestling-matches-2025