NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #22
Date: November 20, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s a big time main event this week as Jeff Jarrett FINALLY gets his NWA World Title shot, which he’s wanted since he was a boy. Or maybe it just feels like that’s how long he’s been talking about the stupid thing. Other than that, the new Tag Team Champions re defending their titles, which should be dominance. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Earlier today we got a sitdown interview with World Champion Ron Killings. He’s not thinking about Mr. Wrestling III and talks about being focused on the World Title because that is his passion. Tonight it’s about who is going to pay the ultimate price.

EZ Money/Sonny Siaki vs. Divine Storm

Storm is Chris Divine/Quiet Storm with Trinity. It’s a brawl to start with Money hitting a top rope clothesline to the floor, taking out Siaki and Storm in the process. Trinity moonsaults out onto Siaki and Storm and we settle down to Divine rolling Siaki up for two. Siaki suplexes him down for two before Money and Siaki plant Storm with a double slam.

A Spin Cycle sends Storm outside, where Siaki is right there with a kind of suplex. Trinity takes Siaki down with a hurricanrana but Money is right there to drop her with a clothesline. Back in and Storm cutters Money off the middle rope, allowing Divine to get the tag. That’s fine with Siaki, who gives him the fisherman’s neckbreaker for the fast pin at 5:50.

Rating: C+. This is following the standard classic idea of having a fast paced match to start the show. It works every time and it worked again here, with Money and Siaki doing well enough as a team. It’s not like they have anything going on, but there are far worse ideas for a show opening match.

Here are James Mitchell and Belladonna for a chat. Mitchell knows the wrestling world is watching the World Title match and now he wants the World Title too. Whoever wins tonight will face the New Church. Likely in the form of this man.

Malice vs. Kory Williams

Malice jumps him to start and they go outside with Williams being sent into the barricade. Back in and Malice…kind of hits a top rope shoulder, followed by a chokeslam for the pin at 1:57.

Spanish Announce Team vs. Harris Twins

For a future Tag Team Title shot.  The SATs start fast and jump the Twins during their entrances as we hear about some of the Twins’ previous gimmicks. Jose misses a dive though and the Twins take over, as they are so known to do. Ron spinebusters Jose but Joel is back in to take Ron down. The moonsault/guillotine legdrop combination gets two but Don is in to clean house. The big dive over the top takes the SATs out and the H Bomb finishes for Ron at 6:08.

Rating: D. You knew the Twins were going to get the title shot as soon as they were announced as being in the field as that’s just what they do. The team is presented as the most important, dominant thing in the division no matter who they’re facing and they squashed a perfectly fine team here. What luck that now we get to see them again.

April insists that she was NOT in the shower with Bruce last week. Cue Bruce, who insists that he’s gay so it wasn’t him. Lenny comes in to say Bruce is a fake gay guy so give him the Miss TNA crown. Cue Brian Lawler to jump Bruce, ending one of the dumbest segments I’ve ever seen.

BG James vs. Lenny

James says this won’t be a gay bashing, but just him beating Lenny up. Lenny shoulders him down to start but gets caught with a clothesline. The dancing punches are broken up and Lenny hits a standing moonsault from the top. Cue Bruce to beat Lenny up but Brian Lawler runs in to take Bruce out. James drops a knee on Lenny for the pin at 2:57, because none of that was a DQ. Well of course it wasn’t.

Post match Goldilocks comes out, kisses April on the cheek, and they leave while holding hands as Lawler is rather upset.

AJ Styles vs. Crimson Dragon vs. Jorge Estrada

For a future X-Division Title shot, Mortimer Plumtree is here with Styles and Priscilla is here with Estrada. They trade armdrags and hiptosses to start and a series of standing switches. Dragon superkicks Styles but Estrada powerbombs Dragon out of the corner. Back up and Dragon suplexes Styles into a Stunner before piledriving Estrada for two.

Styles is back with a brainbuster for two on Dragon with Estrada making the save. Dragon gets knocked into the corner so Styles kicks Estrada down for two. Dragon is able to kick Styles out of the air but Estrada takes Dragon outside for a whip into the barricade. Styles is whipped in for two as well but Dragon is back in with a double guillotine legdrop for two each.

Estrada rolls Dragon up and suplexes Styles for a double near fall, only to get crotched on top. Styles breaks up a near fall on Estrada but Dragon crotches him on top for a change. This time though the super hurricanrana is countered into a Styles Clash onto Estrada to give Styles the pin on Dragon at 11:02.

Rating: B-. Much like the opener, this worked just fine as Estrada and Styles were more than good enough to carry their part of the match. On the other hand you have Dragon (former ECW star Chris Hamrick underneath a mask) doing well enough as a warm body. Sometimes you need someone there to take the fall and that’s about the only reason to put him in there, which worked well enough.

America’s Most Wanted wants to beat up James Mitchell and get the Tag Team Titles back. James Storm also says “sorry about your d*** luck.”

Video on the Disciples Of The New Church winning the Tag Team Titles last week.

Tag Team Titles: Disciples Of The New Church vs. America’s Most Wanted

The Disciples are defending and it’s a big brawl on the floor to start again. AMW double teams Slash on the barricade and Lee is suplexed into the ring. Lee drops Harris to take over and it’s off to Slash for the right hands in the corner. We settle down to the champs taking turns beating up Harris, with Lee’s big boot connecting for two.

Harris finally fights out and gets in a middle rope clothesline, allowing the tag off to Storm. A reverse tornado DDT gives Storm two as everything breaks down again. Something close to a Tower Of Doom out of the corner leaves everyone down but Storm is up with a chair. A shot to Lee’s ribs sets up a spear from Harris for a rather close two so Lee grabs the spike. That’s taken away though and Storm uses it on Lee for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. Yes after all of that brawling, there was actually a DQ. Not in the other matches around here, but in this one, because it’s what the script called for here. We’re probably setting up for a big violent blowoff match between these teams and I’ve heard worse ideas, as it’s an actual feud with stakes.

Post match Storm beats up Belladonna and Harris lays out a referee. Well we better get a violent rematch now. Security runs in to save James Mitchell so he can escape.

Video on the Amazing Red.

We get a sitdown interview with Red, who looks to be about 16 years old and is rather nervous. He wants to be the champion and will give it all he has. The idea here is that he’s quiet on the mic but loud in the ring and…I guess that makes sense.

Jerry Lynn is excited to face Amazing Red because he sees a lot of himself in him.

X-Division Title: Amazing Red vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is defending. They start slowly with both of them getting a quick take down to no avail. Lynn monkey flips him but Red sticks the landing on a hiptoss. A German suplex doesn’t work for Lynn either and Red snaps off a hurricanrana. Lynn finally catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a surfboard works on Red’s back.

Back up and Red sends him to the floor but the flip dive off the apron is caught, allowing Lynn to ram Red’s ribs into the apron. Lynn ties up an arm and a leg for some cranking but Red gets up for a tornado DDT. That’s enough to send Lynn outside and the running flip dive takes him down again.

A 619 connects on Lynn and Red catches him with a kick to the head. Lynn manages a powerbomb out of the corner and then flips him over into another powerbomb for two more. Red is back up with something like a middle rope swinging Downward Spiral for two of his own and some frustration is setting in. A hurricanrana out of the corner gives Red another near fall but Lynn catches him on top with a super cradle piledriver to retain at 10:03.

Rating: B. Believe it or not, the X-Division guys continue to carry the show, with this being a nice story of the veteran Lynn being a bit overwhelmed by the young star. Red more than held his own out there and it was more a matter of him getting caught than getting beaten. That’s a good way to go (it worked two and a half years later for Shawn Michaels and Shelton Benjamin) and this was one of the better things I’ve seen from TNA in a minute.

Don West hypes up next week’s show.

Video on Ron Killings, who has been kind of forgotten in the last few weeks.

Video on Jeff Jarrett, who wants to be an all time great NWA World Champion.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Jeff Jarrett

Killings is defending. They go with the basics to start, with Killings grabbing a headlock and then a shoulder block, followed by some dancing. A dropkick puts Jarrett down and he’s not sure what to think here. The spinning forearm sends Jarrett outside and he yells at referee Scott Armstrong before making a fired up comeback. Some right hands and a dropkick have Killings in trouble but he hammers away and hits a Downward Spiral.

Killings powerslams him and hits the ax kick for two, followed by a Figure Four. Jarrett eventually manages to turn it over and everything is broken. They knock each other down before Jarrett is up with a powerbomb for two. The referee takes a thumb to the eye so Killings grabs a chair, which Jarrett uses for two more. Killings hits a sitout gordbuster for two but gets knocked off the top for a crash.

The Stroke gives Jarrett two so they head outside, where Killings gets in a posting. They fight into the crowd where Jarrett hits him with a chair, which Killings shrugs off. A splash off a balcony puts Jarrett through a table and he’s busted open. They go back to the ring, where the referee is of course bumped. The slugout leaves both of them down and Mr. Wrestling III comes in to guitar….Killings to give Jarrett the pin and the title at 17:38.

Rating: C+. The match was ok enough and felt like a big match, but egads why am I supposed to care about Jarrett winning the title? It’s treated like this huge important moment and…it’s still just Jarrett as World Champion, which wasn’t interesting in WCW and isn’t interesting here. Throw in the match being about as cookie cutter of a main event style match as you can get and there was a limited appeal here.

Post match Mr. Wrestling III is….Vince Russo. Well of course it is. Jarrett is shocked to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Maybe it’s that this show felt a bit bigger, but it was one of the easiest episodes of TNA thus far. There was less in the way of time being wasted and general dumb stuff, though those problems were still there. What matters the most here is having some nice action though and it helped make the show that much better. Not a great show, but it was enough to get by for a week, which is an upgrade around here.

 

 

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Triplemania 22
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Arena Ciudad de Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Attendance: 21,000
Commentators: Hugo Savinovich, Vampiro

Well I recently butchered a Japanese show so why not a Mexican show too? I’ve seen a few shows from AAA before and I’ve liked it so far, but that might be because I can understand a bit of Spanish so I’m not completely lost. I’m really not sure what’s going on here but a good wrestling show should be able to tell stories without being able to understand every single thing. Let’s get to it.

HOKEY SMOKE THERE’S ENGLISH COMMENTARY! Oh I feel a lot better all of a sudden.

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show. I think he says the show is being broadcast in the US as well as Mexico. One more note: AAA uses the six sided ring ala TNA.

Opening video, which is just shots of a lot of the roster. There’s a good chance I’ll know a lot of these people from Lucha Underground.

With music from Rocky Balboa vs. Ivan Drago from Rocky IV playing in the background (I already like this show), an SUV pulls up. Out walks Mexican legend Dos Caras (two faces) and his son, Alberto Del Rio (Alberto El Patron here). This isn’t really a surprise as Alberto was in the montage of faces in the opening video.

The father and son come to the ring with Hugo introducing Alberto and listing off all of his WWE accomplishments. Alberto talks about returning home (with a name graphic for Sexy Star) and belonging to Mexico. Seven years ago he went to the United States to pursue a dream but now he has been humbled by God. He claims racism in WWE and says it doesn’t matter if you have money or not. Dos Caras taught him how to be a man and nothing can ever take away his pride. He’s so proud to be Mexican.

Cue Konnan and Los Perros Del Mal (heel stable, coming out to Eye of the Tiger, making them awesome) with Konnan running down Mexico and Alberto in particular. Perro Aguayo Jr. makes fun of WWE catchphrases and my goodness they need to turn up the commentary volume as it’s being badly drowned out. He calls Dos Caras an old man and shoves him down so the brawl is on. The Perros being chased off with ease as Vampiro brings up an interesting point: Alberto can’t officially wrestle for 90 days. Alberto challenges Aguayo to a fight and says Perro Sr. should have raised his son better. The surprises belong to Alberto.

Aero Star/Jennifer Blake/Mascarita Sagrada/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Mamba/Mini Abismo Negro/Sexy Star/Super Fly

The idea here is you have a masked man, a mini, an exotico (transvestite) and female wrestler with the idea being a strange combination tag match. This is the definition of a cultural difference but the matches can be fun. Star and Fly used to be teammates but have recently split. Sexy Star is half of the Mixed Tag Team Champions but the commentators call it the Women’s Title. Mamba recently beat Escarlata in a hair vs. hair match so there are even more stories going on.

The camera stays on a wide shot so it’s kind of hard to tell what’s going on. Super Fly accidentally kicks Sexy Star to the floor, allowing Aero to get a quick rollup for two. Fly is sent to the floor and the camera completely misses the dive. Off to the girls with Sexy taking Blake down by the hair but getting armdragged out of the corner and down to the floor. Negro, who is the mini but is taller than the top rope, gets caught in a spinning DDT from Blake, followed by a running seated senton from the apron to take Sexy down.

Off to the exoticos with Escarlata rolling around and walking the top rope into an armdrag to Mamba and a headscissors to Fly at the same time. The minis come in and Vampiro has to explain that usually there isn’t this big of a height differential. Sagrada climbs onto Negro’s shoulders and then the top of his head into a hurricanrana. Aero backdrops Fly to the floor and Sexy Germans Blake for no count. Blake gets two off something like a TKO but I can barely see what’s going on because of the stupid wide shot. Everything breaks down and the exoticos stop for some “comedy” with Escarlata getting two off a sunset flip.

Sexy and Blake trade rollups for two each before Aero hits a top rope Falling Star to the floor to take out Fly. Negro blocks a kiss from Escarlata so Pimpinela dives on…..someone the camera misses. The minis go at it again with Sagrada hitting a big dive onto Negro but Fly misses his dive a few seconds later. Blake dives over the top onto Super Fly, followed by a corkscrew plancha from Sexy. The announcers have issues with the sound and Escarlata finally gets to kiss Negro. Sagrada throws Negro in AJ Lee’s Black Widow for the submission.

Rating: C. Well that…..happened. I remember hearing Sean Waltman say there’s no psychology in lucha matches and that’s very clear here. This was all over the place with no particular rhyme or reason for anything that was going on. They were just doing random spots to each other and if they made sense then great but it didn’t really matter either way. I did however find Escarlata a lot easier to sit through here than in Lucha Underground, though that might have something to do with not having to listen to Striker call him Pimpy every ten seconds.

The announcers get the sound back and Hugo makes me laugh by asking why things always happen to him around tables.

Sexy Star dances post match.

World Cruiserweight Title: El Hijo del Fantasma vs. Daga vs. Fenix vs. Angelico vs. Australian Suicide vs. Bengala vs. Drago vs. Jack Evans vs. Joe Lider vs. Pentagon Jr.

This is a ten way elimination match (oh joy) to unify Daga’s Cruiserweight Title with Fenix’s Fusion Title. You may know Hijo del Fantasma as King Cuerno, as well as a few other names from Lucha Underground. I’ll do my best to keep track of these guys but I make no promises whatsoever. From what I can tell, neither title ever changed hands in a singles match. That must be a cultural thing because it’s rather insane otherwise. Pentagon Jr. comes in as Sexy Star’s partner in the World Mixed Tag Team Champions while Evans and Angelico are the World Tag Team Champions. Fenix has a posse with him.

Thankfully there are only two people in the ring at once and the other eight stay on the floor until someone is sent outside. One last note: Ricochet (Prince Puma) was supposed to be in this match but is being replaced by Drago due to some flight issues. Bengala quickly sends Pentagon outside and follows him out with a huge moonsault, which impresses Vampiro greatly. Fantasma runs over Evans with a clothesline and Angelico comes in to help. Pentagon and I think Suicide double team Jack before Lider comes in, only to get knocked to the floor, setting up a HUGE corkscrew plancha from Drago to take down all ten guys.

Lider rolls Bengala up for two back inside but Bengala grabs a rollup of his own with a nice cradle for the first elimination. Pentagon powerbombs Suicide as Savinovich has no idea who all is in there. A big spinning DDT plants Pentagon before Drago runs the ropes to hurricanrana Fenix. That’s fine with Fantasma though as he gets his knees up to block Suicide’s Shooting Star. This is going so fast that you can really only call spots because there’s no story or flow to the match to speak of. Pentagon hits a running package piledriver (looked sick) to eliminate Suicide and get us down to eight.

Drago comes in and flips all around Pentagon but gets knocked to the floor. Evans backflips to avoid a clothesline from Pentagon and hits a kind of Pele kick, only to have Daga kick him down as well. Of course Jack isn’t interested in selling and loads up a 450 but has to bail out, setting up another package piledriver from Pentagon. Daga adds a suplex into a backbreaker for a double pin, leaving seven guys in the running.

It’s off to Bengala and Fenix to trade running kicks in the corner. That bores them so they try exchanging tombstone attempts until Bengala is dropped HARD on his head for an elimination. Doctors come out to check on Bengala as Fenix is backdropped into the air but turns around into a sweet hurricanrana. The fans, as they have been all night, are mostly uninterested. Either that or they’re very badly mic’d as there haven’t been many substantial pops over an hour into the show.

Fenix dives through the ropes into another hurricanrana on Pentagon but Fantasma jumps him from behind. A whip sends Fenix into a powerbomb into a backbreaker on the ramp, which doesn’t make a ton of difference here. Daga hits a suicide dive to take out Fantasma for a big crash. Well in theory it was a big crash as the camera missed it again. I can live with that a bit more in a major free for all like this, especially once it gets on the floor.

Fenix pops right back up and even Vampiro is saying he should still be down. A HUGE top rope hurricanrana and standing moonsault are enough to eliminate Pentagon, leaving us with Fenix, Daga, Angelico and Fantasma. Bengala is just being taken out. Angelico pounds on Daga in the corner as Fantasma goes outside, leaving no one for Fenix to handspring elbow. Angelico joins him on the floor, allowing Fenix to run from one corner to another for a huge double turn corkscrew dive. Daga hits a Canadian Destroyer and discus lariat to Fenix, setting up a rear naked choke for the submission.

Down to three now as Daga tornado DDT’s Angelico into a guillotine choke but Angelico powers up to his feet for the break. Angelico kind of break dances into a kick to the head to stagger Daga, setting up a running Razor’s Edge into the buckle. More doctors are out to check on Fantasma as Angelico gets the pin to put us down to one on one. Fantasma pops up and dropkicks Angelico to the floor for a big suicide dive. Vampiro: “He knocked that South African all the way back to Japan!”

Both guys crawl back in at the 19 count and we actually have a breather. Fantasma’s top rope sunset bomb is countered and Angelico gets two off another running Razor’s Edge into the corner. He loads up another from the middle rope but Fantasma slips off to escape a bad case of death. They chop it out on the ropes with Fantasma getting the better of it, setting up what was supposed to be a reverse hurricanrana but winds up just being Angelico taking a back bump. A fireman’s carry into a tombstone (called a flying inverted neckbreaker into a brainbuster by Hugo) is enough to give Fantasma the title.

Rating: D+. The high flying was fun here at times but the ridiculous amount of botches and complete lack of flow drove me crazy. They were all over the place and I get the idea behind a wild fight like this, but would a little bit of order have killed them? It doesn’t help that I have absolutely no idea if any of these guys are faces or heels as they all wrestle about the same style. Total mess but some fun high spots helped it a lot.

Commissioner Fantasma presents his son with the new green title belt post match. Vampiro implies that Hijo is a heel for the first indication of alignment all night.

We get the announcements for the Hall of Fame, which I don’t think are announced prior to the show. This year’s class include El Brazo and someone to be named later. Vampiro tells a nice story about Brazo’s family taking care of him when he showed up in Mexico when he was just 19 years old. AAA boss Joaquin Roldan presents the Brazo family with a plaque for the induction.

Video on Taya vs. Faby Apache for the Reina de Reinas (Queen of Queens, meaning the Women’s) Title. There’s a cool visual here with a chess board showing only two queens slowly moving closer to each other.

Reina de Reinas: Taya vs. Faby Apache

Apache is defending and has Drago in her corner while Taya has Sexy Star and some of Los Perros Del Mal. Referee Hijo de Tirantes (Son of Suspenders. Seriously) gets his own introduction, complete with flexing. Feeling out process to start with Faby easily taking the challenger down and cranking on the legs. It turns into a battle of hair pulling, which Vampiro excuses because it’s Mexico. A running double knee to the face has Apache in trouble early and we hit one of the only chinlocks of the night.

Back up and Faby superkicks a charging Taya to send her out to the floor. Tirantes, a known heel referee, won’t let Faby follow Taya out. Faby goes after her anyway but eats a fall away slam back inside. A fisherman’s suplex, with Taya being nice enough to lift her leg to be grabbed, gets two for Faby. Taya looks to have a busted nose as she gets two of her own off a facebuster. The champ grabs an Orton DDT but the referee stops the count at two to check on the injured nose. Works well enough I guess.

Taya is in the ropes so Faby charges, only to get caught in a kind of guillotine choke. The referee has no interest in breaking up the hold despite it being in the ropes so Faby escapes and puts on a rolling armbar instead. That goes nowhere so it’s off to a heel hook instead but Tirantes grabs Faby’s hair to break up the hold. Commissioner Fantasma is nowhere in sight. A superplex gets two for Faby as the referee just stops counting at two. It’s better than Nick Patrick’s overblown shoulder spasms at least.

That earns him a missile dropkick and draws in Sexy Star, only to have Faby drop her longtime rival with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Cue a second referee and Fantasma (senior) for some actual law and order. Taya misses a moonsault (on a broken nose remember) and gets kicked in the face for two. Taya comes back with a northern lights suplex and a double stomp for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. After all of the insane messes I sat through in the first two matches, this insanity was kind of a necessary step down. I can get behind a good crooked heel referee idea and that’s what we got here. Not a great or even a really good match but this is the best story I’ve seen all night.

Vampiro talks about all the hard work Taya has put in to get here, which really doesn’t jive with the whole crooked referee story or the fact that Taya was clearly the heel here. Then again, neither does Taya winning with a clean wrestling move after all the cheating but I’ll take what I can get.

The other inductee into the Hall of Fame is Rayo de Jalisco (Lightning from Jalisco) but Los Perros come out to jump Rayo Jr. Blue Demon Jr. comes out to help break it up and a big brawl breaks out.

A steel cage is lowered as the Star Wars theme plays. I’m digging this company’s music selections.

Video on the upcoming six way cage match where the last man in will either have his head shaved or lose his mask.

El Mesias vs. La Parka vs. Electroshock vs. Chessman vs. Averno vs. Blue Demon Jr.

This is in a cage and the last man in loses his mask or hair. Mesias is subbing for Jeff Jarrett, who is also missing due to travel issues. Averno, Mesias, Electroshock (I think at least as he wears a half mask) and Chessman (the reigning Latin American Champion) can have their heads shaved and the other two can lose their masks. Mesias is better known as Mil Muertes in Lucha Underground at the moment.

Averno and Chessman jump Mesias before everyone else make it to the ring and Electroshock gets the same treatment. Chessman climbs to the top of the cage and drops a leg to drive someone through a table. None of this is SHOWN OF COURSE because we needed to see Blue Demon high fiving fans. This company is making my head hurt. While all this is going on, La Parka has his admittedly awesome entrance to Thriller.

So everyone is in now and it’s La Parka getting the first advantage that we can actually see. Mesias is already bleeding and everyone not named Electroshock (or La Parka of course) jump La Parka. That’s fine with La Parka who gets to the top of the cage (having lost a boot somewhere in there) and is out less than two minutes after getting in. Electroshock is busted as well as the announcers finally explain the idea. Granted they’re not sure if Electroshock’s hair or mask is on the line either.

Averno tells Chessman to load up Mesias for a double team move but runs up the cage to make the second escape. We’re already down to four and Demon shrugs off all three other guys and makes it out. They’re flying through this match. Mesias superplexes Chessman down but Chessman pops up and grabs a guitar. Averno is back though and throws powder at Electroshock, allowing Chessman to nail him with the guitar. A spear from Mesias drops Chessman but he quickly pulls Mesias down and escapes.

So it’s Mesias vs. Electroshock as the final pairing and they stare each other down. Mesias’ tombstone doesn’t work an Electroshock nails an RKO, only to have Mesias make a quick save. Mesias sends him shoulder first into the cage but can’t escape either as Electroshock pulls him down. Vampiro: “What a bump.” An Alabama Slam plants Mesias and draws about the 1000^th OH MY GOD of the night from Vampiro. They chop it out on the top rope until Mesias hits something like a super Backstabber, allowing him to escape for the win.

Rating: D. Well let’s see. Or don’t see actually, which is the case with the big spot through the table. Other than that, the majority of the match was spent on quick escapes and people fighting with no reasons given. That’s one of the major issues of the night: I have no idea why these people are fighting most of the time. English commentary is nice, but these guys are REALLY bad at giving us backstories.

Electroshock has his head shaved. Mesias gets back in and a brawl breaks out.

Now we have clowns bringing out ice cream. Vampiro is annoyed that he doesn’t get one. I have no idea what the point of this was. Apparently these two are part of the Psycho Circus, which we’ll get to now.

Video on Psycho Clown vs. Texano Jr. which is part of a long feud between Texano and the Clown. Psycho had a few World Title shots at Texano earlier in the year but kept getting screwed out of the belt. Thank you Wikipedia, as the announcers just say it’s a generational battle.

El Texano Jr. vs. Psycho Clown

This is mask vs. hair and Texano’s World Title isn’t on the line. He’s also taken the hair of. Psycho’s brother and father so there’s a long story here. Hijo de Fantasma is in Texano’s corner and might slip him a foreign object. It’s a brawl to start as the Spanish commentary is bleeding in. Psycho sidesteps Texano to send him outside, setting up a nice suicide dive. It’s Texano up first though and a chair to the ribs slows the Clown down.

Back in and Texano goes after the mask before just blasting Psycho in the head with a chair twice in a row. Fantasma hands Texano a spike of some kind and we’ve got a LOT of blood early on. Back in and we get more stabbing as Vampiro talks about hatred between these two but, as usual, doesn’t explain WHY they hate each other aside from they apparently have for a good while. Psycho fights up but gets tripped by Fantasma as the referee is being very lenient.

Texano bites at the cut on the forehead and rips away with the spike even more. Mini Clown was dropped somewhere in there as Psycho kicks out of a rollup with feet on the ropes. Now it’s off to the knee but Texano opts for the bullrope. I can’t even get away from that thing in another country. Cue Monster Clown (over 400lbs) with a towel and a few guys in suits. Another referee comes down and I guess the first one was corrupt? If he was he didn’t seem to be very good at it.

Psycho gets a quick rollup for two but Texano stomps him right back down. The Clown is getting fired up though and scores with a powerslam for two followed by a hurricanrana for the same. Texano gets thrown to the floor (guess how much we saw of it) and taken down by another suicide dive. This time it’s Texano getting chaired in the head to show a bad cut of his own. Something like Kevin Owens’ Cannonball over the ropes connects but Texano comes back with chair shots of his own in the ring.

Fantasma helps as well and loads up a table but Psycho gets a breather with right hands to the ribs. A HUGE superbomb through the table gets two on Texano and the fans are actually stunned. Commissioner Papa Fantasma FINALLY comes out and ejects his son before Texano rolls through a high cross body for two. A wicked Batista Bomb gets two for the champ but Psycho throws him to the floor and dives over the referee to take Texano down in a huge crash. Vampiro looks STUNNED in a great visual.

Since selling isn’t a thing around here, Texano pops up and hits a flip dive of his own (better one too) to put the Clown down one more time. Back in and Texano hooks a chinlock with two knees in the spine….before just letting go. Psycho grabs White Noise for two and it’s time for another table. As per Wrestling Law, Texano is able to suplex Psycho through the table because the Clown introduced it. Texano gets crotched on top and taken down with something like a running Codebreaker for two.

A superplex drops the Clown as the stamina (and lack of selling) here is remarkable. Back up again and Texano misses a bullrope shot and gets caught in a Canadian Destroyer (Vampiro: “I have never seen this before!” Hugo: “A flipping neckbreaker!”) for a very close two. Time for yet another table and Texano puts him up on top, but gets caught in a SUPER CANADIAN DESTROYER THROUGH THE TABLE to finally give Psycho Clown the pin.

Rating: B. Well that was……REALLY long. They easily could have cut out about five to ten minutes from this and made this feel a lot tighter. I got the idea behind the match with the Clown doing whatever he could to get revenge and finally beat Texano by taking him to a place he’s never had to go before. It’s good stuff and by far the best match of the show, but it could have been a classic brawl if you cut out some of the filler, which felt like they were just extending the match more than once.

The Clown family comes into the ring to celebrate as Texano is shaved, despite trying to run off. The bloody guys FINALLY shake hands after staring at each other for the better part of ever.

We get a quick video showing the four people in the main event: a fourway elimination match for the Copa Triplemania XXII. From what I can tell the Cup has been a thing before, but my goodness this doesn’t feel like much of a main event.

Copa Triplemania XXII: Cibernetico vs. Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. El Hijo de Perro Aguayo vs. Myzteziz

Elimination rules. Myzteziz is the original Sin Cara and Wagner is returning after some issues with the organization. He also has his son, El Hijo de Dr. Wagner in his corner. Apparently the Cup hasn’t been defended in thirteen years. Oh yeah this is a lame out. Everyone goes after Wagner to start with Perro sending him into the crowd for a beating with a cup. Back inside, Myzteziz, who now has his back and chest covered in tattoos, gets chopped into the corner. Perro knocks Wagner up the ramp with a chair and Cibernetico joins in.

Everyone gets back inside and Perro just throws the chair at Wagner’s back. He bites the Dr.’s shoulder before switching over to Myzteziz but can’t get the mask off. Instead Perro ties him in the Tree of Woe as Cibernetico does the same to Wagner. That goes nowhere so Aguayo blasts Myzteziz in the face with a chair. Wagner has a huge hole in his shoulder and Vampiro says you can see the bone coming out of the skin.

Myzteziz, who is busted wide open, finally does something by dropkicking Cibernetico down and hurricanranaing Perro out to the floor. A 619 drops Aguayo but the Dr. gets back in and kicks at the other masked man. Myzteziz kicks him in the bad arm as the fans rally behind Wagner. They head outside with Dr. hitting a cannonball off the apron, followed by a catapult to send Myzteziz into the post. Back in and Cibernetico misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in a Samoan drop. Wagner’s arm is just GONE and it’s clear that he needs to get out of there.

Wagner gets back up and rips at Myzteziz’s mask to the point that you can see both eyes. Myzteziz goes for the Dr.’s mask in turn as Vampiro keeps saying something looks wrong with Cibernetico. The very bloody Myzteziz dives into a cutter to give Wagner two but he gets caught in La Mistica (Fujiwara Armbar). That brings Perro back in to break it up though and everyone takes shots at Wagner. It’s almost uncomfortable how much they’re focusing on him. Myzteziz tries an Asai moonsault onto Perro but hits raised boots.

Back inside and Wagner’s son breaks up a chokeslam, only to eat one of his own from Cibernetico. Wagner goes after the knee but takes a chokeslam for the elimination and a big reaction. That makes Cibernetico smile for the first time and he looks like a completely different person. There’s a chokeslam to Myzteziz for no cover but the second attempt is countered into La Mistica for an almost immediate tap. It’s down to Myzteziz vs. Perro and Aguayo has to break up an early Mistica attempt. The referee breaks up a chair shot from Perro but a quick low blow gives Aquayo the Cup.

Rating: D. The only reason this is so high is the artery that Myzteziz (so glad I don’t have to type that again) tapped into during the match. This felt like a gang beating on Wagner and a lot more real than it should have been. The match wasn’t even entertaining and felt like a major downfall after the previous war. It’s a perfect way to cap off such a messy show.

Perro celebrates but here’s Alberto again. He rants about Perro ruining the evening for so many legends, but Aguayo will respect El Patron. Alberto talks about wanting to fight no matter what no compete clauses he has. Perro jumps him but gets caught in the cross armbreaker, which still should be called Destiny. Los Perros run in for the save but Alberto is the biggest hero that has ever heroed in the history of Mexico.

Not shown on the PPV, but Rey Mysterio showed up in a video post show, saying he was ready for his great exit. This has yet to happen about six months later.

Overall Rating: D-. Yeah the Psycho Clown match was really good, but hokey freaking smokes this was a borderline disaster. There were six matches on this show with a ridiculous THIRTY TWO wrestlers in the ring, not counting run-ins and Alberto. There is so much packed into this show, but somehow it feels like nothing happened. Let’s see. Alberto debuted, some cruiserweight titles were unified, some guys got their heads shaved and a heel wins a competition that hasn’t been around in thirteen years. What in the world was this show supposed to be other than an ad for Alberto?

I’ve liked the AAA that I’ve seen before but this was such a mess and a disaster that it’s almost impossible to get much out of it. Yeah Del Rio looked good, but shouldn’t Psycho Clown get a shot now? In theory the hair means more than the title, but it feels really anti-climactic. This show needed to slow down and breathe for a LONG time (and it’s not like they didn’t have time with nearly four hours) instead of just pouring in another multi-man match.

On top of that, the commentary was almost more of a burden than a good thing. I’ve never been a fan of Savinovich’s commentary and somehow Vampiro was the better guy out there tonight. I have no idea what the stories were for most of these matches and it’s really annoying having to try to figure it out based on the few clues you can pick up. I really didn’t care for this show and it really hurt what I thought of the company as a whole.

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Saturday Night’s Main Event 22
Date: July 29, 1989
Location: Worchester Centrum, Worchester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This show is kind of a mess on paper. It has Hogan vs. Honky and the Brain Busters vs. Demolition so the card isn’t that bad, but at the same time there’s nothing here that makes me want to watch the show. It doesn’t look bad but this was a weird time for the company as there was no real challenger to Hogan so we were kind of just waiting around on something to happen, which would take about 6 more months. Let’s get to it.

Savage invites us to a barbecue.

Beefcake says he’ll cut Savage’s hair.

Heenan says the Busters will win the titles.

Demolition says the Busters won’t win the titles.

Honky says he’ll win.

Hogan says he’ll win. Epic promos here indeed.

Theme song is played at this point.

Somehow Honky is #1 contender. How in the world did that happen? We see his greatest hits which is of course a collection of guitar shots before they became clichéd.

Honky says he’s great and that he’ll win while using about 89 Elvis lyrics.

Hogan talks about keeping his priorities straight and how he’s going to beat Honky here.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Honky Tonk Man

Even Jesse admits that Hogan is the favorite. You know this is going to be one sided when even he admits to something like that. Honky goes for the guitar shot immediately and of course it doesn’t work. Jimmy goes for Hogan of course and it doesn’t work. That was a big problem I had with WCW Hogan. He and Hart were enemies for years and now they’re best friends?

That just doesn’t work in the slightest. I could watch Honky take atomic drops all day. Jimmy pops Hogan with a guitar to take over for the first time. I’d love to be the guy that made the guitars for wrestling companies. You would be a freaking millionaire.

A guitar and table shop would clean up next door to Titan Towers. Honky hooks a camel clutch that gets him nowhere and Honky is actually in control. The Shake Rattle and Roll connects and Honky dances. Hogan Hulks Up after two and you know the ending. Hogan even throws in a guitar shot and the referee doesn’t seem to care. Hogan’s posing actually goes through a commercial. Wow indeed.

Rating: D. This is your standard Hogan match from this era as Hogan completely dominated. Honky was about a year removed from meaning anything at all here though so it’s not like this really meant much. To be fair though, this was just to get him on TV which worked fine. Match was horrible though.

Ronnie Garvin comes down to be referee for the next match so we see Garvin losing a retirement match to Valentine. This was a long angle that went nowhere and sucked completely. Ah never mind that was just Garvin in general. We get a long video of Garvin being a referee and beating people up. If Garvin does it again he gets suspended.

Greg Valentine vs. Jimmy Snuka

I smell and angle match. Actually I see it as there’s no real smelling aspect to this match but you get the point. It’s a bad sign when I have to explain my own jokes isn’t it? Oh never mind they started. Snuka dominated early but Valentine hits him in the head with his shin guard somehow to take over.

tells me this isn’t going to be very long. Valentine won’t let Snuka back in so Garvin shoves Valentine like an idiot. Wait, he is an idiot so there’s no like to it. He his Valentine and Snuka hits a cross body off the top for the pin. At least it was short so I didn’t have to put up with much of him. Any is too much though so take that for what it’s worth.

Rating: F-. Anything involving Ronnie Garvin is a failure and that’s all there is to it.

We recap Savage vs. Beefcake which started when Savage jumped him on the Brother Love Show.

Savage says he was defending his woman and that he’s doing this to get Hogan’s attention. The main event of Summerslam was Savage and Zeus vs. Hogan and Beefcake so there’s your noticing. Savage says he has a surprise which I’d bet on being tall, bald, black and horrible in the ring.

Brutus says something weird about hair which makes me want to get to the match.

Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake

Was there ever any more awesome music for such a bad wrestler as Brutus’? Brutus has the big hedge clippers of course, which I’ve always wondered what kind of barber would use. OH! Hey I got a joke. Sweet and it only took me 21 years. Dang I feel old now. The bell rings while Savage is in the air after Brutus throws him over the top.

Beefcake hits a standing double axehandle to the head which looked a lot better than it likely was I’m assuming. Ah there we go: Savage is….losing before I can finish typing that. Beefcake was actually becoming decent by this point which is weird to type. There’s the high knee which was one of his finishers at the time but it gets two only.

There’s another one so you can tell he’s running out of offense already. Sherri blasts him in the head with her shoe as he’s in trouble already but she likes hurting people I guess. If that’s the case why not just look at him? This is about as standard of an 80s match as you can ask for.

She takes her stocking off to choke Brutus as Jesse says Liz wouldn’t disrobe at ringside to help, which is odd since Jesse was the referee for that match. Sherri interferes for about the 9th time in 5 minutes and finally gets knocked out by a miscue from Savage. I love the bump Savage takes when he goes over the top to the floor. It’s downright elegant.

Savage sends Sherri to the back to get Zeus. Even Jesse knows what’s going on so you know it’s not that hard to figure out. Beefcake gets the sleeper but Zeus comes in for the DQ. Hogan pounds on Zeus and it doesn’t work. Hogan can’t hurt him and the heels are winning. This might be the end of civilization. Beefcake rakes his eyes and we have a weak spot. Hogan cracks Zeus with a chair and it does nothing. The heels leave but don’t run if that makes sense.

Rating: D+. Not much here as this was all about the angle rather than the match. This was built as more or less the main event of the show if that tells you anything. It wasn’t bad or anything but it’s certainly just them going through the motions to set up the angle where Hogan can’t hurt him at all. This is really basic booking but it works quite well.

Savage, Sherri and Zeus gloat.

Tag Titles: Brainbusters vs. Demolition

So last SNME there was a solid match where the Busters had Demolition in trouble but Demolition got disqualified, intentionally or not is up for debate. Demolition says they’ll demolish them. They’ve held the belts since Mania 4 so it’s been a LONG time, actually the longest reign with the belts ever. This is 2/3 falls mind you. Tully and Axe start us off. I never felt comfortable with the Horsemen in WWF. It just didn’t feel right at all.

It’s ALL Demolition to start which should tell you something. Smash grabs a boot coming down at him which is something straight out of an 80s action movie. Smash apparently has an injured knee. Uh, sure. They just kind of said it was injured and then it isn’t anymore. Ok then. Anderson hits the spinebuster which doesn’t have a name yet. Smash gets a hot shot on Arn for a pin to get the first fall. That came a bit out of nowhere.

After a break it’s time for the second fall. There was no rest though as the perk of SNME was that since it was taped there was no wrestling during the break. As in it would pick up right where it was left off. We get a lot of double teaming on both sides and it gives the heels the advantage. A horrible camel clutch does nothing of note. In the middle of the insanity, Andre comes down and does nothing and Demolition is disqualified for double teaming to tie us up. This is a mess to put it mildly.

Now if Demolition is DQ’ed or counted out here, the titles don’t change hands. The heels do the old British Bulldogs move of ramming one guy’s head into his own partners’ which works well here. Axe takes over again but in a stupid looking moment he hits an atomic drop and rams his head into Arn’s. Both get hot tags though and this needs to end. It’s ANOTHER big mess but Andre throws in a chair for Tully which gets the pin and the titles to end the nearly year and a half reign with the titles for Demolition.

Rating: D. WOW this was a mess. It’s not particularly bad, but we get it: THEY CAN BRAWL. There’s far more brawling in this than wrestling which is rare for this era. The match could have worked as it’s not like the Brainbusters couldn’t wrestle or something like that. This was just a mess the whole time and it didn’t do it for me.

The Heenan Family celebrates and Arn cuts a (of course) great promo saying how they were told they couldn’t do it.

Brutus and Hogan say Zeus is awesome but they’ll be fine. Oh and they want to protect Liz.

And that’s it.

Overall Rating: D. This was just not working for me at all. It’s mainly about Summerslam 89’s main event, but I didn’t like that match so there we are. This didn’t do it for me as it was just a mess all night. There was no direction for the company at the time and they were actually in real financial trouble to the point where they were on the verge of going under. Then Vince had this idea of Hogan vs. Warrior. They weren’t in trouble for long after that. Anyway, the show sucked, avoid it.

 

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Is this the match that made Cena legit?I don’t really think so.  I’m not sure if there really is a single match that made Cena.  He was already a big deal at this point and the win didn’t really put him up to a higher level.  He did have to beat HHH at some point though, which makes this match more of a foregone conclusion than anything else.

 

Thoughts?

Wrestlemania 22
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

Now this is an interesting show. We’re now fully into what I guess you would call the modern era of both the company and Mania. Cena is the dominant world champion, Orton was his evil self, Taker’s Streak is at full power and Shawn is his Christian self. This show is much like 19: it’s solid, but easily forgettable for some reason. The wrestling is good but at the same time nothing jumps off the page at you.

This is also Kurt Angle’s more or less swan song in WWE as far as major angles go. He was drafted to ECW a few months later and after that did little to anything of note until his release and arrival in TNA. Jeff Hardy was about four months away from his comeback. The card looks somewhere between good and better than good so let’s get to it.

An added factor to this show is that I went to the follow up Raw exclusive PPV, Backlash, the next month. Since I remember it fairly well, I’ll be able to throw in some post show stuff leading up to Backlash.

After America the Beautiful it’s the standard history package to start with I Dare You by Shinedown playing which is a very good song here. The recap videos are something that WWE has always done very well. I don’t remember much of this buildup as it was three years ago but the packages help a lot. The theme song here is Big Time which is a bad pop song. Wrestlemania is supposed to have a freaking ROCK song with it, not a bad pop song.

A video runs us through the main matches and I have to think of the stupid Rey main event tour. Also tonight it’s Cena vs. HHH and Shawn vs. Vince. This is one of the weaker Manias as far as cards go if you didn’t get that.
Raw Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

This was around the time that the two giants were just crushing everyone in their paths with reckless abandon. Carlito and Masters were two young guys that weren’t quite thrown together to face them here. As usual the Chicago crowd is white hot. Kane and Show come out together and weigh over 800lbs. How in the world is Kane the lightweight on a team?

Masters vs. Kane to start us off here. This is the first time in seven years that the titles have been defended at Mania in a traditional tag match. That’s kind of pathetic when you think about it. Show comes in and drills Masters a bit. Big chop in the corner makes people say WOO even though it’s a different kind of chop than Flair threw.

Show slams him and steps on the chest of Masters who tags out to Carlito. The Puerto Rican tries a wristlock and is promptly lifted up into the air and crotched with ease. Show launches Carlito onto Masters on the floor. Kane throws out a clothesline to both but lands between them resulting in a massive THUD on the floor but is up first. Total and complete dominance so far.

Somehow the challengers got the buckle off and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee to send Show’s head into the buckle. Off to Masters now but like idiots they try a double suplex and get launched for their troubles. Kane comes in and a huge backdrop takes down Carlito.

Carlito gets a boot up and that more or less ends his offense. Masters manages to get the Masterlock on Kane but Show kicks him in the face to break it. Backstabber to Kane but Carlito walks into a chokeslam. Masters saves but Kane gets up. There’s no end to these guys. Chokeslam to Carlito ends this.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a classic but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was little more than a glorified squash and that’s just fine for an opener. Both teams would be split up within a month though as the heels argued over who cost them the match here, leading to the Backlash opener which the newly face Carlito would win with a Backstabber. Kane and Show would lose the tag titles to the fraking Spirit Squad of all people and Kane would begin to go insane.

They began a weird tweener vs. face feud where Kane’s voice would play throughout the arena as somehow not only could we hear his thoughts but they were wired around the arena. It tied in somehow to Kane’s See No Evil movie, but it was still pretty bad. It culminated with a fake Kane, apparently from Kane’s past, beating Kane at Vengeance. It made no sense and was a total waste of about three months.

Masters and Carlito argue post match with the fans supporting Carlito.

Shawn says he doesn’t regret telling Vince that Vince needed to grow up because it was the truth. He talks about how he’s always stealing the show at Mania but not to expect a five star classic out of HBK. Tonight is about violence because tonight it’s Vince that needs to pray as tonight Vince is enduring his own personal nightmare. Wow Shawn cursed. That’s a rare one.
Money in the Bank

Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Ric Flair, Lashley, Rob Van Dam
Lillian in that dress with the cut down to her stomach made me lose consciousness for a bit there. Shelton is IC Champion here so no defense of it again. All four commentators are talking here. Van Dam is pretty clearly the most popular guy here. Lashley is a freaking beast. Flair comes out last because I guess he’s the most exciting one with a ladder? That pink robe kind of makes me think he’s not very extreme.

This is only the second of the matches so there isn’t really a track record. RVD chant to start as Lashley destroys everyone with power. Matt brings in the first ladder but Van Dam hits a baseball slide to stop it from coming in and dives on the ladder onto Hardy. No one is in the ring at the moment until Finlay vs. Shelton goes on there. Shelton hammers him with a ladder which is set up in front of the ropes like a ramp. Shelton gets a running start and hits a big flip off of it onto everyone not named Flair.

Finlay and Flair go up but the ladder isn’t in the right place for Flair. Matt goes up and suplexes the young 57 year old down. Flair is in agony and the referee throws up the X for him. Hey, did you know he broke his back in a plane crash in the 70s? Didn’t know if the first million or so times we told you that got it through or not. RVD drops Shelton onto the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder on it. There are only five people in there still at the moment.

Lashley goes up very slowly of course but Shelton runs up only to get popped in the head. Shelton fights him off but can’t get a sunset bomb to take him down. Matt and Finlay help him out and down goes Lashley finally. Another big RVD chant starts up. Matt takes over on offense but when he puts a ladder in front of Finlay to charge at him Finlay throws the ladder at him for a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

Here comes Flair because he hasn’t been on camera for almost five minutes. Did he need to be oiled or something? Since the ring is empty he sets up a ladder but is stopped by Matt. Flair chops some people away and touches the case. Finlay pops up with the club that no one can spell and takes Flair down. The case is swinging though so Shelton is able to stop him or at least slow him down.

Shelton knocks him down and tries to go up but Lashley shoves it down. Van Dam hasn’t been seen in a good while. Oh there he is with a chair on the top. He jumps off and dropkicks the chair into the ladder and everyone is down. Hardy, the idiot that he is, sets up a ladder in the corner. Oh instead he’s doing a signature move instead of trying to win. What a shock.

He goes up and gets a hand on it, drawing a ton of boos. Finlay makes the save and we’re told he’s not a ladder specialist. Dude you go up. How hard can it be? Side Effect to Finlay off the ladder takes down Finlay, Hardy and the ladder. Van Dam climbs the ladder in the corner and drops a regular splash on Finlay. It’s good that he didn’t do the Five Star version as he would have killed himself.

In one of my all time favorite spots, Van Dam goes up top but Shelton springboards from the apron to the top rope to the ladder to catch Van Dam. That’s simply incredible and beats everything I’ve ever seen. Matt puts up another ladder but he and Shelton go down. Van Dam is alone and is like dude that’s awesome and wins the match by pulling down the case. He would win the title in June but lose it in three weeks due to getting high with Sabu.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here of course but WAY too short to be a great match. This was less than twelve and a half minutes long to give you an idea of how short it was. This was good but at the same time they needed more to it. Also with only Lashley and Van Dam being legit contenders out there it was a bit weaker than last year. Good match though.

Josh Matthews, with a lot of hair, is with Gene Okerlund who has no hair. Orton interrupts and says he’ll win the title tonight. Batista pops up and says he’s returning soon, which is true. Just three short months later he did return.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class to come out. Bret Hart isn’t here which is understandable I guess. The rest is Mean Gene, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas (they’re all accompanied by Divas here if that means anything), Verne Gagne, William “Refrigerator” Perry (he couldn’t get a suit for this?) the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (represented by Vickie who wasn’t a TV character yet) and of course Bret who isn’t here.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit
No real storyline here as it’s really just JBL challenging him for the belt. In a really cool looking visual, the entrance ramp rises up like a garage and JBL’s limo drives out of it. Good lord Jillian Hall looks amazingly hot as a cowgirl. JBL has a hand injury here. JBL grabs a headlock to start and takes Benoit down with a shoulder. Benoit tries the Crossface out of nowhere but can’t lock it in.

Instead Chris settles for some hard chops in the corner. Out to the floor and JBL hides behind Jillian to take over. Benoit tries to chop back so JBL KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Why mess with what works? Rolling Germans by Benoit must have JBL wanting to throw out some Nazi salutes. Benoit goes but get crotched. Eh with all those steroids in him the balls didn’t feel anything. JBL does Eddie’s dance to draw big heat and hits a superplex for two.

In a stat that I find almost impossible to believe, Cole says that only 5 matches in Mania history have ended in submission. I had to stop the match and go back to check on that. I found 7: Angle vs. HBK (21), Benoit vs. HBK vs. HHH (20), Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware (6), Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega (12-sleeper) Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin (13-Austin never tapped so I’m not sure if that counts), Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis (3-sleeper) and Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund (11).

Even with Cole being wrong, that’s still amazing. 7 in the first 21 shows meaning just one every three years. That’s either really impressive or really bad. Anyway JBL dances a bit more and hits Three Amigos. Benoit counters the third one but gets kicked in the face for two for his troubles. Off to a chinlock by JBL as things slow down a bit.

Benoit fights back and does Three Amigos of his own with Cole saying “this is how it’s done”, despite Benoit getting up differently than Eddie did. JBL did the same thing Eddie did. Flying headbutt by Benoit gets a long two. Clothesline from JBL misses but JBL grabs the referee to avoid the suplex. Clothesline attempt #2 is caught into the Crossface but JBL casually rolls him over and grabs the rope for the title. That’s the ending? Really?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s all there is here? The ending was flat out terrible. It made no sense at all and came from nowhere. JBL literally wasn’t in the Crossface for two seconds, and I timed it, before he rolled out. This match felt like it didn’t have a beginning and started at about 5 minutes in if that makes sense. Really not that good at all.

We recap the hardcore match between Edge vs. Mick Foley. Now this is the match this show is remembered for and with good reason. The story is that Edge stole the WWE Title from Cena using his MITB contract. Foley was the referee for some reason during the rematch, won by Cena. Edge of course says it was biased officiating. That leads to Edge challenging Foley, but Foley saying it’s hardcore. We get this.
Edge vs. Mick Foley
Joey Styles is on commentary here as he dang well should be. Lita looks INSANELY hot here with the Edge vest, bra and jeans. Good freaking lord. Edge has a ball bat with him. Edge’s facial expressions as Foley comes to the ring makes this match already. That’s his best asset and always has been. When he gets in a big match, Edge’s face is just amazing. Foley has his (blue) flannel shirt on so you know he’s serious here.

Styles actually analyzes Foley’s choice of flannel which is a bit odd. Styles really is a great choice for commentary here as his voice just fits this. Edge swings away with the bat almost immediately which gets him nowhere. Tree of Woe by Edge early as Foley drops an elbow on him. Edge gets a shot in and has Lita hand him a cookie sheet.

These shots are LOUD. Foley takes a street sign to the head and rubs hit stomach. Do the sheets smell like cookies? Edge hits the spear after maybe two minutes and is writhing in pain from it. Foley gets up and rips off the blue flannel to reveal a belt made of barbed wire and the RED FLANNEL SHIRT!!! Foley whips him with the barbed wire and Edge is bleeding from the arm.

Edge is now tied up in the rope and the crowd pops for it. Foley hits the floor and finds Barbie, the barbed wire baseball bat. Lita comes in for the save by jumping on Foley’s back (seriously is there anyone she won’t hit on?) so Foley is like screw it and we get a Cactus Clothesline to the floor. That and a neckbreaker outside both get two.

It appears Foley has become Cactus Jack but when he tries a running knee into Edge into the steps he gets hip blocked into the steps which looked awful. Again the knees go into the steps. Does anyone wonder why Foley can barely walk anymore? Chair time by Edge. Sorry that there aren’t many jokes in this but there’s not much to make fun of. Edge hits the floor again and busts out a table.

Foley rolls off before Edge can put him through it so instead he just rams him into the steel of the ramp. That sound made me cringe. Back in the ring now and Edge has…oh dang it he has lighter fluid. He pours it on Foley but Mick is able to get a Piledriver to save his own life. Using a cookie sheet instead of a second chair Edge almost takes a Conchairto. He manages to get up and give Foley a DDT (not) on the cookie sheet.

Edge with Barbie now (is Lita Ken?) and he hammers Foley with it to draw blood. A bulldog onto Barbie gets two. Out to the floor goes Edge and he finds a bag of tacks. Oh dear. Apparently he had a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the stairs. Foley manages to reverse though and suplexes Edge onto the tacks. Considering Edge wasn’t wearing a shirt that was awesome.

Here’s Socko but Foley wraps it in barbed wire. Claw to Lita as well and now Foley has Barbie (make sure to use protection since Edge already had her). Edge takes a shot to the head and is busted open as well. Oh man he’s cut BAD. Foley, the nice guy that he is, rips the barbed wire deeper into the skin of our Canadian villain.

Foley finds the lighter fluid and holds it up like a treasure in a Zelda game. The table gets soaked in it and yep they light it on fire. In the famous spot from this show, Edge dives through the ropes and spears Foley into the flaming table, burning both men in the process. The pin is academic.

Rating: A. They wanted to make Edge look awesome and they certainly did it here. Foley looked great too as once in awhile he can break out a great match and that’s what he did here. This was exactly what they needed and was enough to let Edge get back into the main event. Great match and the Mania moment that both guys were looking for. In true WWE style, they would be partners weeks later.

Foley gets a standing ovation to leave.
Booker and Sharmell are in the back and Sharmell is freaking over Boogeyman. Booker says he’s not a freak magnet. He then runs into Pirate Paul Burchill and then Ted DiBiase and Eugene doing the basketball thing as I mark out. The basketball thing was where DiBiase would say that if a guy could bounce a basketball 100 times in a row he would give them 1000 dollars.

On about 97 he would kick it away. He laughs and offers Booker a chance at it, saying everybody’s got a price for the Million Dollar Man. Seriously people, go look up his old stuff. In my opinion, he is still the greatest heel that ever lived. One more note about the basketball trick, back in the 80s, a young man from Battle Creek, Michigan named Rob was swindled by DiBiase. He eventually changed his name to Rob Van Dam.

He also finds Snitsky licking Mae Young’s toes and Goldust dressed as Oprah. I love these kinds of segments. Goldie says Booker has to accept the freak in him to beat the Boogeyman. There’s talk of worms in mouths and in a place that Booker is angry over having Goldust whisper to him. DiBiase’s laugh takes us off.

Ad for Backlash. Hey I was there!

We see some sweepstakes winners that no one cares about.

Joe Theisman and Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is Booker keeps faking injuries to get out of matches and is threatened with being fired if he doesn’t wrestle. He was found out anyway and here’s your result. Oh and they’re both terrified of Boogey. Yes Booker, a five time world champion, is terrified of the Boogeyman. Booker wants Sharmell to start us off. It’s weird to hear Cole as a normal announcer at this point.

Booker comes in and hammers away. This is about what you would expect: Booker pounds away, it doesn’t work, Boogey dances a lot and Booker still can’t hurt him. Book End hits and Boogeyman gets up at two. Booker is sent into the post and Boogeyman pulls out a pocket full of worms. He has a snack and Sharmell tries to hit Boogey with his staff. She gets kissed by a mouth full of worms and runs. Chokebomb ends this with Boogeyman winning.

Rating: F. If I need to explain this, you’re an idiot. Did Booker get caught screwing Stephanie while giving TNA inside information and choking out Vince at the same time or something?

We recap Trish vs. Mickie. In short, Mickie was psycho and wanted Trish. This involved seeing Trish sans clothes and kissing her. I think they dressed up as each other a few times also. Trish finally has enough and Mickie loses it. Trish has been champion for like a year at this point so the title change was long overdue. Watching this video, the build to this was pretty awesome.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

The main perk here would be their looks. Mickie would wear these really loose skirts which would often fly into the air. To the shock of no one, Trish looks incredible. It’s so ridiculous to see how far the Divas have fallen today. These girls have personality and are interesting and I want to see them fight after what felt like a somewhat epic storyline built around them.

Trish goes right after her and gets a Thesz Press to take her down. Big chop puts Mickie down. Trish knocks Mickie down into the splits and then kicks her in the head. Out to the floor and the Chick Kick hits the post to set the story for this match. Mickie works the knee because she’s intelligent despite being psycho.

She DDTs the leg for two as the fans are almost ALL behind Mickie here. Lots of knee work here which is the main thing involved in Trish’s finishers. She pulls Trish’s hair and slams Trish’s face into the mat in a painful looking move. Mickie jumps onto the leg and spins around, looking for praise.

Mickie is mixing up her offense on the leg between holds and strikes to it. See, THAT is important. It makes things far more interesting as instead of just sitting around with one thing we get a variety. She puts a leg bar on but Trish wraps her legs around Mickie’s head and gets a headscissors out of it. That was rather good actually.

They slug it out a bit more with neither girl having a real advantage. Mickie goes up but Trish catches her in the Stratusphere. Mickie counters that though and drapes the leg over the top rope again which gets two. Half crab is rolled up into a small package which gives us two and a great body shot. Mickie goes up again but is caught by a sitout powerbomb for two.

Trish hammers away and the Matrish avoids a kick of some sort. She sets for Startusfaction but Mickie rubs Trish’s crotch to break it up and then licks the hand that was down there. See, little things like that get the gimmick over. They set for the ending which is Mickie using the Stratusfaction but Mickie TOTALLY misses the rope and botches the heck out of it. A weak kick to the head ends it instead. JR’s line of THE NUTJOB HAS WON THE TITLE sums this up perfectly.

Rating: B. This would have been an A if not for the finish. I’m not sure which is better: the tiny outfits and how sexy both were in them or the fact that this was really a great match. The botch at the end almost kills this though, but aside from that it’s great and one of the best women’s matches I’ve ever seen. More importantly than anything though: I cared about it because there was an interesting storyline with developed characters. DO THAT MORE OFTEN!
All four McMahons are in the back and they pray. What do you really expect here?

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This match came about after Henry was for some reason pushed as top heel on Smackdown, feuding with Angle for the title. Angle beat him clean at the Rumble and then Taker had Angle beat for the title on Smackdown but Henry attacked the dead man. Taker than challenged Henry to a Casket Match for some reason and we get this. No buildup video for this either as they’re not even trying to convince us the Streak is in jeopardy. Henry is of course not afraid of the dark.

Taker gets the big entrance with the druids. Oh wait that’s just for the casket. Hey we do get a brief recap. I see why it didn’t get a full one. Daivari is Henry’s manager at this point but isn’t here. This would lead to the debut of Great Khali. Henry jumps Taker during his entrance, more or less sealing his fate. Taker gets a big boot and clothesline but can’t take Henry down.

Clothesline by Henry shifts momentum a bit. Can you believe that this is the same guy that was able to have classics with Shawn and then on the other hand you have Henry who had been there ten years at this point and has gotten worse after starting bad? If you can’t tell I’m trying to not have to talk about the match. Henry goes into the steps, Taker goes into the steps, Old School is blocked and the casket is open.

No one in the world thought Henry had a chance here and the fans are more or less accepting that. When Henry is on offense there’s no heat at all. Taker gets a boot to the shoulder and hammers away on it. Old School hits this time and Henry still won’t go down. Taker tries a Downward Spiral but is blocked, drawing a Henry Sucks chant.

Henry goes after Taker but misses, landing in the casket. Taker winds up in there also and they fight in there for a bit. Taker reaches up and chokes away as this is already needing to end. Back in the ring with Taker striking but he jumps into the World’s Strongest Slam for no cover as Henry isn’t that intelligent. Taker stands up in the casket and gets out rather easily.

Taker gets beaten down in the corner and then like the moron that he is, Henry climbs up to pound down punches. When do you see Taker try cross bodies or Henry do that? Not a fan of moves like those. Taker doesn’t get a Last Ride but more or less falls forward to put Henry down. Henry goes onto the casket so Taker dives over it to take him down. Tombstone in the ring and the ending is academic.

Rating: D. This was bad for one simple reason: there was no drama to it at all. Taker matches at Mania can work very well but at the same time there are matches where there’s no point to him being there, such as this one. I mean dude, Mark Henry? This was a joke and everyone knew it. Boring match and nothing happened at all.

There’s a Divas Lingerie show coming up or something.

We recap Shawn vs. Vince. There was a Raw in Montreal and Shawn apologized to the fans, who kind of accepted it. Vince comes out and laughs about it. Shawn says he needs to grow up, then throws a super kick at him, intentionally missing by as little a margin as he can. This launched a feud which mainly consisted of Vince trying to get Shawn hurt.

Marty Jannetty returned to try to help Shawn but was fired after something like two weeks. Shane faced Shawn on SNME in a street fight and they redid the Montreal finish. Somewhere in there Shawn was forced to kiss up to VInce. It was an ok feud but nothing great. The blowoff was supposed to be here, so let’s take a look. This was supposed to be Bret but he didn’t do it for four years.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Shawn comes out first which is kind surprising. Vince is demonic according to JR as he comes out. McMahon is very proud of his physique and can you blame him? He has a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness magazine at ringside which might as well have an X on the middle for the part that goes on his head. Shawn goes straight to the floor and we head to the tables quickly.

JR loses his headset which makes this match more enjoyable. Shawn grabs the framed cover and cracks it over Vince’s head. JR is completely one sided here because of Vince treating him badly over the years or something. The Spirit Squad hits the ring to make it 6-1. Who would have thought that Dolph Ziggler (Nicky!) would be a world champion before Shawn?

They hit their finisher which is where they all grab the other guy and throw him into the air as high as they can. Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop and Mikey grabs the bullhorn which is applied to the sides of their heads. Vince is able to recuperate during that time and hammers away a bit. Off comes the belt and the whipping begins.

Vince sets for Sweet Chin Music which is caught. Maybe he should have tuned up with a little Stand Back before he did that. Shawn fires away with the forearm and nip up so he can whip Vince a bit. Top rope elbow hits and it’s time to Tune Up the Band. Cue Shane with a kendo stick to crack Shawn in the head.

With Shane standing guard, Vince takes down his own pants. Yep it’s time for the kissing spot but Shawn gets his momentum back and sends Shane’s face into his dad. Shawn pulls handcuffs out of somewhere (Vince maybe?) and ties Shane to the rope. After doing Shane’s dance, Shawn beats the tar out of him with the stick.

Chair time and a HUGE shot puts Vince down. Shawn sets for chin music but stops as Vince collapses. Instead he hits the floor and pulls out a ladder. A shot to the head puts down Vince as I think you know what’s coming here. Vince is dripping blood here. Chin Music is stopped again as Vince is almost lifeless.

Shawn pulls out some garbage cans and a table. Shane is still cuffed mind you. The table is set up after a can shot. Shawn goes up the ladder with Vince on the table and then climbs down. He had a scary look on his face before he came down. Out to the floor again and it’s the BIG ladder. Lawler says it’s 30ft high, meaning Shawn is about 15 feet tall. Shawn fires a crotch chop from the ladder and drops the biggest elbow ever to kill Vince. Sweet Chin Music finally ends this with Vince just collapsing from it. The pin is academic of course.

Rating: C+. Well this was supposed to be a beating and that’s exactly what it was. Vince can take one heck of a beating when he has to and this was no exception. Shawn looked great here with the whole letting the old Shawn sneak in as his mind was being affected by Vince. Good beating but Vince had literally nothing for about 8 minutes at the end. Granted he wasn’t supposed to so that’s easily forgivable. Fun stuff but not great.

Vince flips off Shawn from the stretcher which is just classic.

WM 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Angle is the champion. Rey won the Rumble in honor of Eddie Guerrero and last eliminated Randy Orton to win. Orton went insane heel by saying Eddie was burning and managed to get Rey vs. Orton at No Way Out for the Mania title shot. Orton won and Teddy just made it a triple threat because he could. You knew there would be a triple threat in there somehow. This gets the music video treatment tonight, set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Love that song.

Smackdown Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

POD plays Rey to the ring which is always awesome to see. This would be cool but Rey has a massive headdress on which I think is taller than he is. Dang it Rey does no one look at you before you go out there? Orton is cocky here and therefore awesome.

Kurt got the title when Batista was injured and Kurt won a battle royal. See, that’s the perk of having guys like him or Shawn. Got an injury? Need a totally credible main eventer to throw in there? How about Kurt Angle or Shawn Michaels as world champion? I think most people would be cool with that. I would be.

Orton jumps Kurt and the fight is on. Kurt is on the floor and Orton gets a dropkick on Rey for two. Angle gets back in and grabs a German on Orton. Then he suplexes both at once and Rey goes FLYING. That was awesome looking. Angle is all fired up here. Belly to belly to Orton as Kurt is killing it. Rey hammers away at baldie and the fans audibly boo. But it’s about EDDIE!!!

In a great spot, Orton is sitting on the ropes and Rey charges at Angle. Angle grabs him and launches him over Kurt’s head and Rey lands in a perfect rana on Orton for two. Angle suplexes Orton back into the ring and the fans are behind him. Rey gets a kick to Kurt’s head to take him down for two. The fans chant 619 and Rey gets a headscissors to Kurt who crawls into the 619 position like an idiot.

Ok maybe not so much of an idiot as Kurt grabs the ankle lock out of nowhere. Orton distracts the referee so the tapping by Rey isn’t seen. Kurt and Orton slug it out but I guess Kurt gets bored so he suplexes everyone in sight and hits the Angle Slam to Rey to the floor. Ankle lock to Orton and Kurt gets the grapevine. Rey pulls the referee out as Orton taps so Kurt has won twice in theory.

Kurt throws it on again but this time Rey drops the dime to break it up for two. Fans aren’t thrilled by that at all. Rey is sent into the post but Orton counters the Angle Slam and hits the RKO for two. Randy goes up so Kurt pops up the corner and gets the belly to belly. Rey botches the 619 then does it right.

Seated Senton gets two on Kurt. Orton kicks Kurt to the floor and gets a slick backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey. He sets for the RKO but Angle hits the Slam on him for two. Rey avoids the Slam and sends Kurt to the floor via an armdrag. 619 sets up the West Coast Pop to Orton to give Rey his first world title in less than ten minutes. Seriously, that’s it?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s it? The match was ok but for a world title match at Wrestlemania, that’s it? How many world title matches have you seen at Wrestlemania that don’t crack nine and a half minutes? The title reign was awful, namely due to him being booked like a joke but that’s another story. The match was ok but I thought it was clipped as it was so ridiculously short.

HHH and Cena are getting ready. The fans are clearly behind HHH here, openly booing Cena. Ross says most of the fans are traditional as he’s clearly out of stuff to talk about. Maybe a match ran short? LOUD Cena Sucks chant.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

This is a Playboy Pillow Fight and the reason they were stalling I guess. Candice is introduced from the wrong city. JR says the gate tonight is over $2 million dollars. That’s insane to say the least, especially considering this isn’t a stadium and has less than 20,000 people. Torrie’s music was recycled and is now used by Laycool. She has a freaking dog with her. Ross makes my head feel better by saying the next show is in Lexington. That made me smile.

These two had both been in Playboy. There’s a bed in the ring and pillows and all that jazz. You win by pin or submission. Do I need to explain what’s going on here? They’ve in evening gowns, they don’t stay on long, Torrie wins and they’re in very little clothing. We’re done. This got nearly 4 minutes. Yes, this got almost half as long as the world title match. This couldn’t have been added to that match perhaps? I guess not.

Rating: F. Long, dull, and a waste of my time.

We see some clips from the Wrestlemania press conference. Cena and HHH cut basic promos about being champion post show.

No real backstory here. Cena was champion and HHH won some worthless tournament.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH comes out looking like Conan’s mostly metrosexual brother. He’s wearing a fur pelt and a crown and a breastplate. He rises from a throne to play up the King of Kings bit. He looks absurd but at least after a few seconds we switch over to All About The Game which is a better song I think.

We then see…a newsreel about the Great Depression? Yes indeed, as we hear about the rise of Capone and organized crime in Chicago. The stage rises again as a 1930s era car comes out and fake gangsters armed with Tommy guns ride out. As a geek note, the one on camera side is clearly none other than CM Punk! Total mark out moment for me there as the gangsters surround the ring.

Even the fans are confused here. Cena’s music finally hits and he is booed out of the freaking building. He comes out in a black suit and fedora which would have been awesome had it not been for him wearing shorts and making the trench coat look like a bathrobe. He fires some blanks (honey it happens to a lot of guys I swear) and throws off the coat to reveal his t-shirt and the main event black shorts. We get the big match introductions which will never get old.

HHH is introduced as the Cerebral Assassin, the King of Kings, the Game, the 10 Time Champion. Cena is introduced as the Dr. of Thuganomics. They even get checked for weapons. That’s not something you see anymore. After a long staredown process they lock up and HHH grabs a headlock into a hammerlock. Technical stuff to start here.

Back to the arm stuff as we’re in a feeling out process here. The fans are all over Cena with a huge F YOU CENA chant. Cena tries an FU early but HHH reverses and DRILLS Cena with a right hand to take him down. Cena has to reset a bit as a HHH chant starts. The Game throws him to the floor as they definitely haven’t gotten going full speed yet.

HHH plays to the crowd but Cena sneaks up on him and hammers away. Back drop gets two. Fisherman’s Suplex with a floatover gets two also and we hit the chinlock. YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant starts up which is just hilarious at this point. Cena throws him into the corner and HHH goes over the top and out to the floor. Out onto the aisle and HHH wants a Piledriver but is backdropped onto the steel instead.

Cena’s main offense has been the right hand and I can’t blame him at all for that. HHH fights back and chokes away. Out to the floor for a bit and Cena’s shoulder goes into the steps. Now why would HHH let the referee count? It’s giving Cena a chance to breathe and he won’t win the title that way. I guess you could argue it lets HHH rest.

Back in and HHH hits a suplex and Flair knee drop. Facebuster gets a big pop and a clothesline puts Cena down for two. HHH is covering after almost every move or two that he does which is a very nice thing for him to do. It makes him seem like he wants to win every time which is the idea. They slug it out but another neckbreaker takes Cena down for two.

Modified chinlock/neck vice goes on and Cena is in trouble. Cena fights up but walks into a sleeper. He hasn’t had a steady string of offense all match other than a brief one about 8 minutes ago. John fights out and takes HHH’s head off with a clothesline and both guys are down for a bit. Powerslam puts HHH down and Cena is in control.

Protoplex sets up the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. The shot of Cena looking at the crowd before he goes for it is great. HHH gets up and catches him in a spinebuster for a long two. Nice move there. Right back to the sleeper but Cena reverses quickly into the Shuffle which hits this time. He pumps the shoes and grabs the STFU out of nowhere.

In a nice show of strength though HHH crawls to the ropes and we’re not done yet. FU is reversed and the referee is crushed in the corner. HHH throws a low blow and hits both guys. Crotch chop to Cena as we have more DX foreshadowing. There’s the sledgehammer but Cena blocks it and hammers away (no pun intended) until a shot to the head takes him down. THAT somehow gets two.

Pedigree is reversed and here comes Cena. FU hits and gets two which results in an eruption from the crowd. Very good match here so far. Cena has no idea what else to do as both of his finishers have more or less failed. A splash of all things misses but the Pedigree is countered into another STFU and the referee checks the arm. HHH keeps it up (Stephanie says yay!) but then after almost a minute in the hold HHH taps and Cena keeps the title.

Rating: A-. Great match here and definitely Mania main event worthy, but the problem comes down to this doesn’t feel epic. It’s a great match but at the same time it looks like just another title defense for Cena. This would have been a lot better if HHH had come in with the title and Cena had taken it here, but at the same time this worked fine.

Overall Rating: B. If there was a rating between B- and B this would get it. The whole thing is good overall but there are some spots that make you shake your head. For instance the Booker match, the pillow fight thing, the World Heavyweight Championship match, the MITB being so short etc. It’s a good shot, but it’s nothing I’d want to see over and over. It’s good for a rainy day but that’s about it. Recommended but not incredibly highly.

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Clash of the Champions 22
Date: January 13, 1993
Location: The Mecca, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Well this is it. This is the 9th level of torment. It’s the absolute greatest form of torture in recorded history. This, is WCW in 1993. I’ll wait for your hearts to start beating again. WCW was great at times, but when they were bad sweet merciful crap they were bad. This is some of their worst. The main event is an 8 man cage match pitting the evil team against the good team. That’s not a simple way of putting it. That’s what they say in the opening video. Let’s get this over with so we can move on to something more pleasant like a root canal.

Tony and Cowboy Bill Watts open the show as Watts talks about the old days because having the actual boss on TV was something that WCW thought was a good idea for no apparent reason at all.

Van Hammer is hurt and off the main event tonight but there’s going to be a replacement named Vinnie Vegas for the arm wrestling contest that Van Hammer is in. No mention is made of him not being in the main event. The arm wrestling thing is big news though baby!

Erik Watts, Bill’s son, has been arrested. Dang they’re not hiding anything here are they? Bill: Erik has always been like my son. Maybe because he is your son you stupid, stupid man. Erik is suspended tonight. He happens to be here for an interview though and the booing is really loud. He was supposed to fight Cactus Jack and can barely talk. Erik was a guy that was supposed to be awesome, but only his dad thought that. He was absolutely terrible so Bill put him on the upper midcard because he could.

Ross and Ventura open the show and talk about the main event like sane people would do. This was one of JR’s last major shows so Eric was about to take over.

Cactus Jack vs. Johnny B. Badd

Cactus, a heel, gets a noticeable face pop. Badd is rather effeminate tonight to put it mildly. This stems off of Starrcade 92 where they were Lethal Lottery partners and they brawled to lose the match. Jesse points out that there are signs for Cactus Jack everywhere and it makes him wonder what is wrong with these people.

Naturally Cactus makes it a brawl (aww why not MAKE IT A WIN?) but Badd wrestles him which works far better for him. Oddly enough he’s a brawler by nature who is wrestling to his advantage. That says a lot about Jack’s brawling abilities. Small package gets one for Badd. Top rope sunset flip doesn’t connect and Cactus drops an elbow for the pin and a BIG pop.

Rating: C. This was confusing to say the least as Cactus had gotten very over all of a sudden and WCW wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with it. Not a bad match but it was a very quick match so it’s not like you could say much about it at all. Fun little match though and the face pop is interesting if nothing else.

There’s a new NWA Champion and his name is the Great Muta. He won it at the WCW/NJPW Supershow III which I recently reviewed.

We get more or less a music video of 2 Cold Scorpio which shifts into a PSA and then back into a video. And hey he’s in the ring. Oh never mind it’s a highlight video now. I won’t get tired of Scorpio in the ring though so this is fine by me.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Scott Flamingo

It’s an ECW preview match here as Flamingo would change species later as he turned into Raven. Scorpio spins out of some stuff and we have an early standoff. He likes to use a lot of cartwheels. We head to the floor early with Flamingo taking a flying shot to the back. Back in with Scotty getting a nice running dropkick before a dive over the top to the floor, taking out the Cold dude.

Small package gets two for Scorpio but he’s in trouble so far. We hit the chinlock as they need a bit of a break. Scorpio speeds things up a bit again and hits the Tumbleweed for two. A spinning legdrop in the corner sets up the original 450 to end this though. Far better than you would expect.

Rating: B. This was just four minutes but DANG it was a good four minutes. Scorpio is a guy I’ve always liked and this was no exception at all. He looked great out there and Flamingo was no slouch either. They were both MOVING out there in a match that would have been a good Cruiserweight match about five years later. Good stuff.

What the heck? This show was supposed to suck remember.

Video on Thundercage which is the main event tonight. In essence it’s Hell in a Cell. We hear about how Rude is out with an injury and Team Vader needed a replacement. Cactus and Orndorff had a match with the winner getting the spot. Jack took out Vader’s manager and got jumped during the match by Vader, more or less pushing him to the brink of a face turn without actually going the other way. Later in the night Cactus drilled all of them with a shovel. Dang I want to watch Halloween Havoc 93 and the Texas Death Match now. If you don’t get it, Cactus in 93 was AWESOME.

Brad Armstrong vs. Chris Benoit

This is more or less Benoit’s debut. He had a one night appearance back in a tag tournament but that’s more or less forgotten here. Armstrong is an incredibly solid wrestler that most people haven’t seen much of which is a shame. We hear about how Benoit survived the Dungeon so they know he’s good. To give you an idea of how good Armstrong is, he’s not only keeping up with Benoit but he’s even beating him to a degree in technical style.

To the surprise of no one we’re on the mat with more or less a test of strength going on. Benoit powers up in a bridge and Jesse is impressed. Armstrong does the same thing as this is good stuff so far. Some moron shouts boring and is promptly booed out of the building. Armstrong gets a nice reversal to send Benoit to the floor. Back in Armstrong hits some more dropkicks and back to the arm. Basic stuff but well done so far.

Benoit gets the suplex drop onto the top rope as he’s pretty firmly in control at the moment. Benoit gets a running springboard clothesline (think the dropkick that Jericho does and the cross body that Christian does) to Armstrong on the apron to take us to the floor. It’s very clear that this is pre-steroids for the pre-Crippler. Snap suplex gets two.

Armstrong gets a knee in but it gets him nowhere as Benoit hooks a backbreaker to get himself out of trouble. Diving headbutt misses though and here comes Armstrong. And never mind as Benoit hooks the Dragon Suplex out of nowhere (full nelson suplex) to get the pin. Sweet bridge on the pin.

Rating: B. I really liked this one but then again when you have two talented guys out there this is what you get. Nice little story being told as Armstrong was able to beat Benoit with basic stuff but once they cranked things up Benoit was far too much for him. It shows that Benoit can turn on the jets and blow people away, which is a good sign for him in this impressive debut.

We get some clips of the Rock N Roll Express in Smokey Mountain Wrestling which is pretty much brand new at this point. They’re going to be at Superbrawl which is one of WCW’s first steps into cross-promotional. We see them beating the Heavenly Bodies for the Smokey Mountain Tag Titles. Ok so we don’t see the title change and the clip just kind of ends. Ok then.

Jesse is in the ring to do his arm wrestling thing. This was a worked tournament thing he did which went nowhere. Van Hammer, the winner of the tournament, is hurt though so it’s Tony Atlas vs. Vinnie Vegas, more commonly known as Kevin Nash. Nash is allegedly left handed so we’ll use the left arms. Atlas sounds like he’s in labor and Nash wins after a LONG contest that the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with.

Back from a break with Vader’s challenge to Sting for the White Castle of Fear. This is just Vader standing in snow instead of the official video which is Sting in a helicopter and going to a party with more or less S&M, an orgy and midgets. It was indeed weird but it was WCW in 1993 so there you go.

Larry Zbyszko talks about the tournament for the #1 contender spot to the US Title. The finals turned out to be Dustin Rhodes vs. Ricky Steamboat but since Rude was injured the finals became for the title instead of the title shot with Rhodes winning the belt. We get clips of all four first round matches, none of which are anything special at all. We throw in clips of the semi-finals just because they can.

Wrecking Crew vs. Johnny Gunn/Tom Zenk

One of the Wrecking Crew is a dead ringer for Animal and upon further review yeah it’s his brother. Gunn is Tom Brandi who some of you may have heard of but if not he’s not worth looking up. Rage starts for the Wrecking Crew against Z-Man. This is power vs. speed with speed clearing the ring to start. HUGE dive by Gunn to take down both guys on the floor. That was sweet looking!

Heel miscommunication gets a rollup for two for Gunn. The Wrecking Crew takes over with basic power stuff as this isn’t much at all. A facejam by Gunn brings in Zenk. We get a really awkward spot as Fury was supposed to charge out of the corner into a backdrop but he just stopped, making Zenk look like an idiot. I mean more of an idiot than he typically does.

The referee ducks a clothesline and the Wrecking Crew continues to take over. Z-Man (they use that name and Zenk interchangeably) gets a boot up to block an axe handle off the middle rope and Gunn comes in. Forearm/clothesline takes down Fury who has been in there forever. And then a shot to the back of Gunn results in a move called the Wrecking Ball where Fury gets Gunn over his shoulder and Rage jumps off with a forearm smash to end it.

Rating: D. This was really rather weak and definitely the worst match of the night so far. This wasn’t anything special at all with the Wrecking Crew more or less disappearing after this and Zenk/Gunn never meaning anything at all. Pretty weak match that went nowhere at all but at least it was only about six minutes long.

Larry Z talks to the Hollywood Blondes and their title match against Steamboat/Douglas up next. They aren’t called the Blondes yet but it’s coming.

Sting comes out and accepts Vader’s challenge. Simmons and Rhodes, his partners tonight, say they’re not worried.

Vader’s team says they’re ready for a handicap match. Race says they’ll get back at Cactus Jack eventually, which resulted in a really stupid angle which resulted in a really good match. They beat up Barbarian because he’s Jack’s friend to make it 3-3 because they’re very stupid.

We get highlights from the first two SuperBrawls to give us a reason to buy the third one. The show wound up being not bad. This eats up a few minutes. Ok make that several minutes.

Steamboat and Douglas say they’ll keep the titles. They’re the Unified Tag Champions which was something far too complicated that crippled WCW in the second half of 92 but hey, whatever the NWA says goes right?

Unified Tag Titles: Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin/Brian Pillman

Both teams are in the ring when we get back. The time limit is thirty minutes here instead of the usual hour which allegedly is going to cause faster pin attempts. Steamboat and Austin start us off and do I need to explain to you why this is awesome? Steamboat and Douglas send the Blondes to the floor almost immediately as this is going to be fast paced for sure.

Steamboat won’t shake Austin’s hand so Austin pounds on him. Off to Pillman and we unleash the chops. Shane comes in off the top as we talk about Bruno Sammartino for some reason. The champions tag in very quickly and Pillman hurts his knee on a leapfrog attempt. Stu Hart trained him though so of course he’s faking. He tries a springboard cross body but gets the heck powerslammed out of him by Shane for two.

Shane works on Austin’s arm as the future bald man is in trouble. Brian breaks up a pin as this is completely one sided. Steamboat throws Pillman onto Austin and Stone Cole is in trouble. Finally the challengers take over off a suplex and some double teaming. They work over Steamboat’s back with a slam on the floor. Steamboat manages a sunset flip but Austin has the referee.

Ricky drills Pillman to put him into the steel but Austin saves the tag with a suplex for two. Steamboat counters a body vice but his back is hurt pretty badly at this point. Pillman sets for his springboard clothesline but down goes Austin as Steamboat ducks. A double chop STILL can’t bring in Douglas but Ricky gets a belly to back to Pillman to put both of them down.

FINALLY the hot tag brings in Douglas and the beating is on. That’s good as the roof is now off. Dropkicks and clotheslines all around as Steamboat is amazingly up after about three seconds. Belly to belly out of nowhere drills Pillman but Austin (illegally) comes off the top (screw you Bill Watts) but it only gets two. Austin is finally like screw this and drills Shane with the belt for the DQ and a bunch of blood. Big heel beatdown follows and they leave with the stolen belts. They would get them for real in a few months.

Rating: B+. Fun match all the way around as they played the NWA formula to the letter here. You can often tell how good someone is when they can have great tag matches and this is a great example of that. They put on a great show here and the whole thing worked very well. Fun match and more or less the first of the Blondes great matches.

We see a clip of Vader winning the world title back from Ron Simmons and messing up his shoulder. Jesse brings out Race and Vader who say Vader is awesome. Simmons comes out and says he’s going to get his title back, which of course he never did. The fight is on with Simmons THROWING Vader down in a spinebuster. That was awesome looking.

Simmons goes after Race but Vader destroys Simmons and reinjures his shoulder with some shoulderbreakers on the floor. Sting and Rhodes come out for the save as it looks like it’ll be 3-2 in the main event.

Sting/Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader/Barry Windham/Paul Orndorff

This is the Thundercage match which like I said is more or less the Cell without a top but it comes up at an angle so it’s more or less impossible to climb in and out. Sting vs. Vader is always awesome so this is going to be good. You can’t be disqualified but you have to tag in and out. Sting and Orndorff start us off. Ok so only Vader is chilling on the apron. Ah there it is as the former tag partners in Rhodes and Windham start us off.

Everyone not named Vader is in street clothes here. Off to Sting vs. Vader which is one of those feuds that always worked very well. Sting hammers away and the Splash hits in the corner but Vader doesn’t go down. Sting pounds him down into the corner and the fans are WAY into it. Everyone but Dustin comes in as he more or less lets Sting fight everyone off on his own.

The numbers catch up with Sting though as Vader goes up and half kills Sting with a shoulder block. A splash misses though and Sting sends him to the floor. Is Dustin allergic to HELPING HIS PARTNER or something? Off to Orndorff who hammers away on Sting. Windham comes in now as Rhodes has been totally worthless in this. Vader gets a corner splash on Sting who might have been in there seven minutes straight now or so.

FINALLY Dustin comes in and since he’s a cowboy he can beat up anyone. And here’s Cactus Jack with bolt cutters to break in and hit every heel in sight with a boot. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a face turn. Orndorff goes for the Piledriver on Dustin but gets popped by said boot and Cactus falls on him for the pin. Sting’s music plays for some reason.

Rating: C+. The cage here meant a grand total of nothing. They beat Sting up pretty well but Dustin did nothing for the most part. Not a bad match and the crowd was way into it, but dude the whole cage aspect was completely pointless here. It set up Sting vs. Vader….somehow and I guess advances Jack vs. Orndorff which someone thought was a good idea. Anyway not bad but kind of a head scratcher.

Cactus says he’s in over his head but not as much as Orndorff is. He’s getting into that zone of his on the mic here.

Overall Rating: B. This was light years ahead of what I was expecting. You can kind of see how odd it is in the main event as Sting vs. Vader were about to feud or were feuding I guess but it was still pretty confusing. The NWA was clearly getting on their nerves here and when Flair came back the NWA’s days were numbered. That being said, this wasn’t horrible at all but it was a bit confusing and odd at times. Still though, good wrestling overrides that so definitely a good show.

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