Thunder
Date: March 14, 2001
Location: Knoxville Civic Coliseum, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

The long nightmare is almost over as we only have two shows left, including this one. This is the final show before Greed and things aren’t exactly looking up. Monday’s show was full of old guys having bad matches and not enough build to anything other than Sunday’s main event. Let’s get to it.

Nitro montage.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: 3 Count vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

The winners get Elix Skipper and Kid Romeo at Greed. Kidman and Moore start things off with a headscissors putting Kidman down. Moore misses a slingshot hilo though and it’s Rey getting two off a moonsault. Evan comes in and gets taken down with a springboard ankle scissors (or an ankle lock according to Tenay) but he plants Rey with a spinebuster for two.

The double teaming slows things down for a bit until Rey 619s around the ropes and tags in Kidman to speed things right back up. The villains get Kidman to the floor for a whip into the barricade followed by a suplex/high crossbody combo. It’s impressive when a team can do the high flying stuff and still be heels. Evan springboards into a dropkick to the ribs and the hot tag brings in Rey to clean house.

Karagias puts him down and a 450 gets two on Rey. Bottoms Up plants Kidman (illegal) for two with Mysterio making the save, followed by a Bronco Buster to Shannon. A middle rope seated senton (not Thesz Press Mike) drops Evan and Kidman dives onto everyone. Back in and Kidman holds Moore up in a wheelbarrow suplex for a springboard missile dropkick to give Rey the pin and the spot in the finals.

Rating: C+. Standard high flying tag match here but at least the ending was a unique move. They flew around for about ten minutes and popped the crowd to open the show and that’s really all you can ask for from the cruiserweights at this point. The downside to all this though: the tournament final won’t have any of the six cruiserweights who have broken their backs for months to get the cruiserweight tag matches over. Those matches were almost all for nothing, as is the case way too often in WCW.

Skipper and Romeo come out but are quickly dispatched.

Disco Inferno and Alex Wright are eating lunch with Disco stealing food off Alex’s plate. That’s enough for Wright and the team seems to be done.

Here’s Diamond Dallas Page to say he’s still standing and ready to take the title from Scott on Sunday. This brings out Dustin Rhodes, who says he’s here on Ric Flair’s orders. Cue Ric, Jeff Jarrett and Rick Steiner to the video screen to say Scott is off tonight (because who needs him to sell a pay per view on the go home show) and Cat/Booker T. are both gone. Therefore, the main event will be Paige/Dustin vs. Jeff/Rick, which we saw just a month ago. With the three of them on the screen, here are Rick and Jeff to attack Page and Dustin from behind. The heels are quickly cleared out.

Jason Jett vs. Alex Wright

Wright is ticked off and hammers away before getting two off a powerslam. Jett sends him into the corner and gets two of his own with an enziguri. A standing moonsault lets Jett show off even more but he misses a charge in the corner. Wright gets two of his own off a good looking spinwheel kick and a top rope superplex for the same.

Alex stays aggressive by knocking Jason outside with a forearm, only to have his suplex countered into a small package. Off to a modified abdominal stretch on the mat to keep Jason in trouble. Back up and Jason crotches him on the top before hitting a Tajiri handspring elbow. Jett’s release suplex slam (the Crash Landing) is enough for the upset pin.

Rating: C+. Jett had some potential and looked like a new star in the making but unfortunately time caught up with him. You would think he would have gotten some time in the WWF but for some reason it never went anywhere. At least someone like Wright is putting him over here so they were kind of trying.

We get some more from Buff’s “documentary” with Flair and Lex Luger wondering who attacked Midajah. Ric changes gears in a hurry and puts Buff, Luger, Palumbo and O’Haire in a four way elimination.

Video on Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner.

Here’s Shawn Stasiak for a match and he has Stacy with him. Before we get to his opponents, Stacy has to talk about how awesome Shawn is. Shawn on the other hand insults the fans for being fat and tattooed because he didn’t learn a thing on Monday. Cue Reno to say he’s bald and tattooed so let’s have a match.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Reno

Stasiak takes over to start which goes against the rules of a wrestler answering a challenge. A side slam and gutwrench suplex get two each for Shawn as we hear about Reno’s pit fighting career. Reno stops a charge in the corner and grabs a suplex for two of his own. They head outside with Stasiak taking over. I guess a pit isn’t as deadly as a padded section of floor next to the ring. A top rope clothesline gets two for Shawn and he quickly escapes a Roll of the Dice into a neckbreaker to put Reno away.

Rating: D-. So is there a reason why Stasiak got this push instead of Reno? Stacy couldn’t be into the bad guy with the ponytail and tattoos instead of the muscle guy? I’d love to hear that production meeting where this was the answer they decided on. Bad, bad match here as Stasiak continues to be horrible in the ring. He’s terrible on the mic too but one problem at a time.

Stacy dances to brighten things up a bit as Stasiak autographs a picture for Reno. Bam Bam Bigelow comes out to chase Stasiak off.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Sean O’Haire vs. Lex Luger vs. Buff Bagwell

Because we’ve seen these teams in singles matches so many times that this is the best we can get. Bagwell and Palumbo get things going which is arguably one of the best two combinations. Whatever keeps Luger out of the ring at this point. Just to show you how bad of an idea this is, we almost immediately cut to a shot of the crowd and come back to Buff on the mat, meaning someone botched the heck out of something.

Sean comes in and eats a jawbreaker so it’s off to Luger for an atomic drop, giving us another crowd shot. I know the match isn’t very good but they botched that badly twice in a row? Sean gets in a suplex on Luger and tags Buff in, which lasts all of no time as Luger hits Palumbo on the apron so Buff can tag out. A quick chop block brings Palumbo down and Buff grabs a rollup to get us down to a handicap match. Sean slams Luger for two with Lex’s foot on the rope but Palumbo shoves it off to make it a pin. So it’s one on one now and a quick clothesline into the Seanton Bomb puts Buff away in a hurry.

Rating: F. It’s never a good sign when you completely run out of ideas for a feud. It’s also not a good sign when you don’t have anyone else on the roster to feed into this match so the champs could have a quick squash etc. At least O’Haire got to look like the conquering hero as his push continues to seem like it could have gone somewhere if the company had stuck around.

Totally Buff gets chased to the back.

Disco tries to get Mike Sanders to team with him tonight. Sanders so no, until Flair comes up and asks Mike to go fix a toilet, because in WCW’s world the company fixes building issues. Mike decides to team with Disco instead, albeit after taking his time thinking about it.

Video on the Rhodes Family vs. Jarrett/Flair.

Flair tells Animal to go interrogate Page about Midajah’s attack. After Animal leaves, Flair accuses Animal of doing it.

Kwee Wee vs. Shane Helms

So Kwee Wee has gone from “I should be in the heel stable” to Sanders’ wacky partner to jobbing to the #1 contender to the Cruiserweight Title. Dang he’s on a roll. I mean it’s a roll down a hill but a roll is a roll. If nothing else there’s Shane’s really cool entrance. Unfortunately there’s also a shot that shows WAY too many empty seats.

They start slowly as the announcers keep referring to Kwee Wee as Kiwi. To be fair that would probably have extended his career. Kwee Wee slams him for two as you can tell they’re not exactly interested in trying tonight. Helms gets in an armdrag to send Kwee Wee to the floor for a baseball slide followed by a high crossbody.

Back in and another crossbody puts Kwee Wee down, followed by a northern lights suplex for two. The Vertebreaker is countered into a rollup for two and Kwee Wee goes back to the slam. He tries to go a bit too high though and a top rope legdrop only hits the mat, setting up the Vertebreaker to give Shane the pin.

Rating: C-. Shane is on a roll at this point and there’s no reason for him to not win the title on Sunday. Chavo has been great with the belt but Shane is clearly the top guy in the division at the moment. It’s a rare instance of a story being well put together to set up a big title change, which you almost never see around here.

We look back at the post match shenanigans from the four way.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Mike Sanders/Disco Inferno

I guess this is a warmup for Morrus/Konnan, who are described as locker room leaders. No wonder the company went under. The bad guys jump them from behind to take over but Disco stops to dance. Disco and Konnan fight on the floor (aftermath of that music video feud), leaving Morrus to clothesline Mike over the top. We settle back into a regular tag match with Sanders elbowing Morrus off the apron to keep Konnan in trouble.

Tenay actually brings up the Dungeon of Doom and Tony sounds stunned. A chinlock doesn’t get Sanders anywhere as Tony is still on the Dungeon reference. The hot tag brings in Morrus for running splashes in the corner and a Hart Attack with Konnan playing Bret (payback for teaching him the Sharpshooter perhaps). Konnan grabs a Last Dance (Stunner) on Disco to set up the No Laughing Matter and the Tequila Sunrise.

Rating: D. For Dungeon of Doom, the highlight of the match. I got a good chuckle out of hearing Konnan and Morrus as the locker room leaders but there’s nothing wrong with throwing them together for the sake of having another midcard team. It’s not like either of them had anything to do in the first place.

Team Canada attacks post match.

Buff Bagwell finds Animal laid out with the words IT WASN’T HIM and an arrow over his unconscious body.

Video on Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page.

Diamond Dallas Page/Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner

All four get their own entrances to further illustrate how this is just two singles matches at the same time. The bad guys are cleared out in an opening brawl until it’s Page and Steiner to start. Rick has already sold enough before the match so he blasts Page with a Steinerline to take over and already hands it off to Jeff. That goes nowhere so it’s time for more Steiner because he’s the veteran here and therefore needs to get the ring time.

Rick and Jeff take turns beating on Page until a jawbreaker staggers Rick enough for the hot tag to Dustin…..which the referee doesn’t see. The hot tag works a few seconds later and Rick accidentally Steinerlines the referee. Steiner powerslams Dustin and here’s Ric Flair to count the cover with Page making the save. In the melee, Jeff guitars Dustin for the pin.

Rating: D. This was your run of the mill filler match to close out a taping with the audience completely not interested. To be fair though, how interested can you be in something like this? It’s a boring match with the #1 contender having no reason to be in the match other than “Booker isn’t here”. It’s fitting that the final Thunders end with main events like this one: the big stars are in the building but they don’t feel like working this show.

A bunch of people come out for the NWO style brawl. Page escapes to say he’s still standing to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. If you couldn’t tell before, this show has turned over and died. It’s very clear that they don’t care anymore and nothing is going to change that in the last few weeks. The big stars not being here (Save for Booker who had a storyline excuse. I mean, it was a completely unnecessary storyline excuse but it’s better than nothing.) is ridiculous, but then you realize that aside from Booker and Scott Steiner, the biggest names probably are the Cat, Page and Rick Steiner. I don’t think I need to offer much more of an explanation as to why WCW wasn’t around much longer after that.

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SuperBrawl Revenge
Date: February 18, 2001
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 4,395
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

I’m still not sure what the REVENGE subtitle is referring to but it might be due to the fact that we’ve seen several of these matches on TV in recent weeks. The main event is Kevin Nash challenging Scott Steiner for the World Title in a match we saw just six days ago on Nitro. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like something out of a serial killer movie with someone cutting out pictures of Ric Flair and cutting words like PSYCHO and GREED out of magazines and newspapers. No idea what it meant but at least it looked cool.

Jamie Knoble vs. Evan Karagias vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Yang vs. Shannon Moore vs. Shane Helms

Elimination match for the #1 contendership. Helms is a replacement after Animal attacked Kidman so we can have these six opening ANOTHER pay per view. Thankfully there are tags here so it won’t be as insane to keep track of. Well at least to start because there’s no way the tags last. Jamie and Shannon start things off but Shane comes in with Shannon tossing Jamie into a powerbomb for two.

Even sends 3 Count to the floor with the Dragons hitting stereo Asai Moonsaults (which the camera mostly misses). Back in and the Dragons double team Jamie, followed by Kaz headscissoring him into the middle turnbuckle. Jamie fights back and it’s off to Evan to beat on Yang. I know it’s not exactly a surprise but it would have been nice to not have a three way tag for a change.

Karagias plants Yang with a full nelson slam and then almost completely misses a springboard dive. Shane tags himself in and goes nuts on Evan before getting spun around into a rollup by Yang. Things are starting to speed up a bit with the Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combination getting two on Yang as Kaz makes the save. Tony says anyone could have made a save and Hudson talks about how anyone should have because he doesn’t know the rules of this thing.

The tags start getting much faster until Kaz starts cleaning house, only to have Evan drive him into the corner. Shane pops up with a top rope superplex to drop Kaz, followed by FIVE straight missed top rope moves to put all six down. Hudson: “The first man to his feet has to be the legal man.” No Scott, that’s not how wrestling works.

Kaz springboards into a kick to Evan’s head, only to get kicked into an X Plex from Shane. Evan hits a good looking springboard dive to take out Shane and Yang on the floor. We get the parade of dives with Jamie going last and being the only man standing. Back in and Evan gorilla presses Kaz into a spinebuster for two, followed by a powerbomb/missile dropkick combo but Jamie and Evan fight over who gets to cover. Guys don’t listen to Scott Hudson. It just destroys your career. In the melee, Yang grabs an over the back piledriver on Evan for the first elimination.

Jamie slips back in and grabs a tombstone to get rid of Yang to get us down to four. 3 Count’s double team doesn’t work as Jamie dropkicks Shannon into the barricade, only to have Shannon come back in with a super Bottoms Up for the pin on Noble. So we’re down to Shannon, Shane and Kaz with the team looking down at Hayashi. Hudson tries to say there are no teams here because he thinks we might believe him. In a fairly scary looking spot, Shannon backslides Kaz and Shane adds a guillotine legdrop at the same time.

Shane calls for the Vertebreaker but Shannon gives him the Bottoms Up in a quick turn. We get a ref bump on the save (STOP DOING THAT!) so Shane can kick out but Shannon low blows him right back down. Kaz and Shannon double team him for a bit before Kaz throws Moore outside. Shane gets back up and hits the Nightmare on Helm Street to eliminate Shannon and we’re down to two. Kaz rolls through a top rope sunset flip and kicks Shane in the face for two, only to get caught in the Vertebreaker to give Shane the title shot.

Rating: B. The match was the fun you would expect from these six but it’s getting really tiresome to see WCW putting them against each other over and over again. It’s cool to see them get some time like this (over seventeen minutes, the longest match on the show) but of course it’s the opener and the match is likely to be forgotten in about an hour because that’s where these guys belong.

Earlier today Chavo Guerrero was with Animal and Ric Flair but we can’t hear what was said. Chavo was upset though.

Hugh Morrus says General Rection did a lot of good things for the Wall in WCW but then Rection (he’s speaking like Rection is a different person) felt Wall’s betrayal. Tonight it’s Hugh Morrus, who has nothing but hatred in his heart.

Ric gives Scott Steiner an envelope that contains Kevin Nash’s future. Scott is very pleased by this.

Commissioner Lance Storm tells Kronik (arriving half an hour into the show) that Clark has to be seen by the company doctor before he can wrestle tonight. The Brian/Bryan’s don’t seem to mind.

Hugh Morrus vs. The Wall

Grudge match following the split of the Misfits in Action. Wall hammers away to start and gets an impressive looking shoulder to knock Morrus outside. Morrus comes back with a hard shot of his own and sends Wall into the steps, which he uses to crush Wall’s head up against the post. They get back in after a few minutes on the floor with Hugh dropping a top rope elbow for no cover.

Wall comes back with some big chops, followed by headbutts in the corner. Morrus avoids a top rope legdrop and both guys are down again. A spinebuster plants Morrus and keeps up the string of hard hitting moves. Back up and Wall gets flapjacked so we can have another double breather. They slug it out from their knees, which Hudson describes as not wrestling of any type. Then why exactly am I watching? Morrus gets up first and hits a German suplex to set up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D. This started off well with them beating on each other with heavy shots that looked like they did a lot of damage but then the ridiculous amount of laying around after big spots got annoying in a hurry. Cut this match down by about two or three minutes and it’s actually a fun power brawl but it was clear that they were out there too long. Wall didn’t look as horrible here, which is high praise in his case.

Konnan goes after Animal for what he did to Kidman.

We recap the battle of the Thrillers, which is basically about who has the Tag Team Titles, which set up a rivalry over who were the stars of the team.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Mark Jindrak/Shawn Stasiak

O’Haire and Palumbo are defending. Before the match, both teams say they’re awesome and promise a win. A quick brawl breaks out at the bell before Stasiak clotheslines O’Haire to start. Sean sends Jindrak throat first into the ropes though, allowing Palumbo to get in a dropkick to the face. The champs take over with Palumbo jumping over his partner to land on Mark’s ribs before grabbing a sleeper.

Stasiak actually does something right for a change as he distracts Palumbo so Mark can get in a clothesline to take over. A double clothesline into a double nipup into a double elbow drop let the challengers show off a bit, only to have Palumbo hit that insanely hard right hand on Stasiak’s jaw. It’s not enough for the tag though as Jindrak takes him back into the corner for more stomping.

Mark grabs the chinlock on Palumbo as they’re doing the smart thing here by waiting on the hot tag to O’Haire, who is by far the most interesting of these four. Back to Stasiak for an armbar before Jindrak grabs a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. They’re certainly giving Stasiak and Jindrak a bunch of offense.

Shawn misses a top rope splash (which would have overshot Palumbo by three feet anyway) and the hot tag finally brings in O’Haire to a moderate pop. That’s not bad considering there’s no reason to cheer the champs, who never have done anything to turn face. Everything breaks down and Stasiak has to pull his partner away before the Seanton Bomb can launch. Not that it matters as Palumbo Jungle Kicks Shawn down, setting up the Seanton to retain.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here and the clean finish did a lot of good here. Sometimes you just need one side to come off as the better team and that’s what happened in this match. O’Haire looks like a star and I’m really surprised he didn’t become a bigger deal in wrestling due to his look and athleticism alone. The other three were average at best (Palumbo) and a warm body at worst (Stasiak) with all four of them really needing personalities and/or characters.

Dustin Rhodes blames Ric Flair for keeping him out of WCW. Tonight he’s drawing first blood on his team. After that, you will never forget the name of Dustin Rhodes.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo is defending after Rey won a gauntlet match earlier in the month. Rey starts fast with a running clothesline as you can see far too many empty seats in the upper deck. The champ sends him to the apron for an attempted sunset bomb which is countered into a hurricanrana to send Chavo flying. Back in and Chavo drapes him ribs first across the top rope.

Going after Rey’s ribs has worked for years so there’s no reason to not go for it again. Rey gets tied up in the Tree of Woe to work on the knee but Chavo stays on the ribs. Now that’s just versatility. It’s time for the Gory Special for a bit with Chavo teasing the Gory Bomb (not Gory Buster, no matter how many times the announcers try to refer to it as such). Rey escapes and tries a springboard, only to dive into a dropkick to the ribs. This has been all Chavo as he keeps countering everything Rey throws at him.

There’s an STF of all things before Chavo sends him outside. Rey comes up holding his knee which is quickly sent into the steps. Chavo steals a fan’s Mysterio mask and puts it on Rey before grabbing a chinlock. Back up and Rey crotches him on the turnbuckle, setting up a hurricanrana as the mask comes off. Chavo takes a breather outside so Rey flip dives over the top to take him out as he FINALLY starts acting like himself. Another springboard goes badly for Rey though as he bangs up his knee, also just like himself.

It’s time for a chair because….well I have no idea actually. Rey sends Chavo into the buckle and tries a hurricanrana, which finally sends Chavo outside after two botches. Hudson praises Rey’s execution, which Tony says is appropriate since he almost killed Chavo. That was far too close to being amusing. Cut it out Schiavone. Back in and the Bronco Buster hits Guerrero as Rey is way too healthy in a hurry. Rey goes for a chair so Chavo finds another one to crack Rey in the head, setting up the brainbuster to retain the title.

Rating: B+. What is with this show tonight? We’re almost halfway in and there has been one bad (and not even that bad) match so far. Chavo was basically wrestling himself for most of this match, which you really don’t expect out of Rey. To be fair though there’s a good chance that Mysterio is injured or at least banged up as he was so often. Chavo on the other hand is looking like the best champion in years and his matches are getting better and better every time.

Commissioner Storm moves up Kronik’s match, meaning Clark might not be tested in time.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Steiner, which is basically “Dustin is back and was here ten years ago so therefore he’s awesome” and Rick Steiner is here because he has to be.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Dustin Rhodes

Steiner is defending after Dustin pinned him on Nitro. Dustin starts fast with a DDT and clothesline as we hear about the Rhodes vs. Flair feud. A missed crossbody sends Dustin outside and it’s time for the brawling. Rick slowly pounds away and rakes the eyes, making sure he has as little wrestling involved as possible.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s off to a half crab. It’s off to another chinlock until Dustin gets a jawbreaker (more like a Diamond Cutter) to escape. A clothesline puts Rick down again but he won’t sell a faceplant. Dustin’s bulldog sends the champ outside but the referee takes a chair away from Rhodes. During the argument, Rick takes the turnbuckle pad off and a hotshot onto the steel retains the title.

Rating: D. Rick Steiner sucks and I’m not sure I need to go much further than that. It doesn’t help that Dustin is such an uninteresting character with his clotheslines and bulldogs as we wait on the latest chapter in Dusty vs. Ric. This is probably the best example of WCW’s biggest problem: old guys hogging spots with no one else ever getting a chance. I’m no fan of his but Shane Douglas has been tossed aside in this whole thing for the sake of Steiner and that’s a downgrade at this point. At least Shane can cut a good heel promo.

Post match Rick beats on him even more but Dustin fights back and hits Shattered Dreams.

Ric tells Storm that everyone not on their team needs to be out of the building after their match. Also, Kronik vs. Totally Buff is now a #1 contenders match. Storm says consider it done. This has been your most recent plot advancement.

Diamond Dallas Page gives Cat a pep talk.

Totally Buff vs. Kronik

Before the match, Totally Buff has to laugh that Goldberg is gone. After getting through that, Buff says Clark hasn’t been medically released so this is a handicap match. Clark comes out but gets blasted in the head by a Buff chair shot to really make this two on one. Bagwell keeps moving to break up a full nelson slam and it’s an early double teaming to keep Adams in trouble. A double back elbow gets two and it’s off to Luger to stay on the back.

Adams makes a big comeback with some clotheslines and throws Bagwell at Luger. The super Blockbuster is broken up and here’s Clark into the ring as…..Bryan Clark comes out to the stage. IT’S A SWERVE as the Clark who was laid out earlier (when Kronik’s mood lighting was still on) was actually Mike Awesome in disguise. Mike lays out Adams with a German suplex, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin and the title shot at Greed.

Rating: D-. When I have to sit and try to figure out how many parts there were to a swerve, it might be a bit too complicated. It also doesn’t help that this is a match we’ve seen so many times already in recent weeks that all the novelty or interest in it has gone away. Bad on so many levels, not the least of which is Luger getting a title shot at the next pay per view.

The announcers talk about the swerve with Hudson pointing out that Storm must have been in on it, not realizing that Tony JUST SAID THAT. Bobby Heenan used to do that as a gag with Monsoon. Hudson does it because he’s not that bright.

Storm ejects Kronik from the building but they beat up security.

Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Winner is Commissioner, though if Cat wins it doesn’t take effect until midnight. Before the match we get a quick fan poll to decide who the people want as commissioner. Storm rides him to the mat to start and slaps him in the back of the head for fun. A spinning kick to the face sends Lance outside but he sends Cat into the barricade. Cat’s leg is bent around the ropes to start the build towards the Mapleleaf. Hudson says Cat won’t give up that easily because he wants that corner office back.

Storm kicks the leg out to break up a comeback bid but he takes too long going up and gets slammed back down. The leg is wrapped around the post though and Cat is down again. That lasts all of ten seconds before he comes back with his dancing offense, including the elbow drop. There’s a kick to the head but cue Mike Sanders, who is quickly taken down by Miss Jones (who is looking great tonight). The Feliner puts Storm away and makes Cat Commissioner again.

Rating: D. Thank goodness our six day international crisis is over. This could have been a lot worse but the key thing here was keeping it short. Cat is only going to be able to do so much in the ring, even with a technician like Storm out there doing most of the work for him. This was more of a spectacle, but Storm really should have been out of power longer.

Quick recap of Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page, which is mainly over Jarrett having Page arrested (went nowhere) before bringing Page’s old enemy Kanyon back to feud with Page again.

Cat is the new Commissioner but Ric has thrown him out of the building.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Not so fast because Jeff brings up Page saying he would fight Kanyon anywhere anytime.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kanyon

Kanyon sneaks in from behind but Page is ready for him with the discus lariat. They head outside with Kanyon going into the barricade a few times. Kanyon sends him in as well though, followed by a Fameasser from the apron onto the steps. Page has some blood on his eye as Kanyon suplexes him from the bottom rope back in for two. Another Fameasser (which Tony calls innovative) gets two more for Kanyon and we hit an innovative chinlock.

Back up and Kanyon uses Page’s swinging neckbreaker for two as there is a lot more blood in a hurry. Page fights back with a swinging Rock Bottom, only to eat a sitout Alabama Slam for another near fall. Kanyon hits the Cutter but the referee goes down, allowing Jarrett to come in with the Stroke. A Flatliner puts Page away.

Rating: C+. These are two guys who are going to have a good match with almost anyone you put out there and that’s what we got here. The Kanyon Cutter should have finished the match but at least the right person won here. Kanyon should have been a big deal but all the heel turns and time off really held him back.

Post match Kanyon introduces Jarrett for the original match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tony is saying Page just went “Ten, fifteen, twelve minutes” against Kanyon because just over eight minutes is close enough to twelve or fifteen. They fight into the crowd with Jarrett rocking the staggered Page with right hands. Back to ringside with Page sending him into the announcers’ table, only to be hit in the ribs with a few chair shots. Jeff drops some slow shots to the head but gets caught by the discus lariat. Sleeper, counter sleeper, jumping DDT from Page for a change of pace instead of the belly to back.

Back up and Page keeps slugging away with Jarrett going face first into the buckle over and over. Cue Kanyon, who Tony wants knocked out with a ball bat. Now come on Tony. You know it’s the ball bat that sets up the finisher which knocks people out around here. Jeff chairs Page down for two but the guitar hits Kanyon by mistake, setting up the Diamond Cutter for the pin. Hudson: “THAT IS A PERFORMANCE FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS!” For having back to back long TV matches?

Rating: C+. Despite a lot of the flack Page gets, he’s always going to give you a good match if he’s allowed the chance. It probably won’t be the best thing in the world but at least you’re guaranteed something totally watchable at worst, which is something WCW is severely lacking at this point.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash. Basically Nash is standing up for WCW but Steiner hit him in the knee with a pipe on Nitro.

Ric Flair comes out for commentary on the main event.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending but before we have the match, let’s look at the Sid Vicious injury to show how bad Scott can be to people. Ric has an announcement to make: the loser has to retire, which apparently was the ruling in the envelope. Nash is wheeled out with some good looking nurses and the leg in a cast. It looks like a countout but Nash stands up and we’re ready to go. A belt shot to Steiner’s head pins him in 12 seconds.

Of course that’s not it as Flair says it’s 2/3 falls and no DQ. We cut to the back to see Totally Buff lay out Page in the back as Nash beats on Steiner at ringside. Nash slowly hammers away before clotheslining him out to the floor. Midajah offers a distraction so Steiner can hit Nash in the head with a pipe. Flair makes it falls count anywhere so Steiner pins him on the floor for the second fall.

Some brass knuckles shots have Nash in even more trouble as the crowd is groaning as they’re far from impressed here. Both guys are bleeding and Steiner keeps hammering away at the cut on Nash’s head. The push-ups elbow gets two followed by the t-bone suplex for the same. Another knuckles shot is blocked with Nash hitting a side slam to put both guys down.

Midajah pulls the knuckles away from Nash but Flair sends in a chair so Nash can be knocked out (Tony: “He’s dead!”). The Recliner is broken up (with Tony acting like Nash is the new Goldberg as a result) and Nash gets two off a chokeslam with Midajah making the save. The Jackknife connects but Midajah interferes AGAIN, earning herself a side slam. Flair pulls the referee out and punches him in the jaw, allowing Steiner to get in a low blow, knuckles shot, chair shot and the Recliner to retain.

Rating: F. Nash isn’t exactly the new Goldberg because it didn’t take this much to put Goldberg down. You could see what they were going for as soon as Nash pinned him off the belt shot and it was just a bunch of Tony treating Nash like the greatest thing that ever lived for the rest of the match. Nash actually wouldn’t wrestle in WCW again so for once they did something right, though I’d be surprised if he wasn’t on Nitro tomorrow.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a good example of a show where you knew exactly what you were going to get out of each match. Six man cruiserweight elimination? Good stuff. Lance Storm vs. The Cat? Waste of time. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner? Oh please. The big surprise though was how much good stuff there actually was and the show was very nice as a result. I can’t imagine anything else they’ll have will top this but at least it was nice to have one more easy show to sit through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: January 24, 2001
Location: Lawrence Joel Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

We’re still just living in Ric Flair’s WCW as he and the Elite (the unofficial name at the moment) destroy everything in sight, though to be fair it’s more interesting than the Sid Rules The World stuff we sat through for so long. It’s getting closer to SuperBrawl with Kevin Nash getting the World Title shot against Scott Steiner because we’re just that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Cruiserweight Contender Countdown

I could go for this no promo to start thing. This is basically a singles version of Tag Team Turmoil with the winner getting the title shot at SuperBrawl. Works for me. Shane Helms and Elix Skipper get things going and it’s already time to run the ropes. Elix grabs a quick suplex for two and spins off the middle rope into a legdrop for two more. The Play of the Day is countered into a Vertebreaker for the very fast pin. Oh so it’s one of those gauntlet matches.

Evan Karagias is in at #3 (of 10) and misses an early top rope Lionsault, setting up the Vertebreaker for the second pin in less than two minutes. Kidman is in at #4 and quickly knocks Shane outside for a nice plancha. Back in and a TKO into a facebuster onto the knee drops Kidman but there’s no selling since this is a cruiserweight match. Instead Kidman grabs the BK Bomb but Shane pops back up for two off the X Plex. Another Vertebreaker is countered into the Kid Crusher to get rid of Shane. They’re certainly in the “hurry up and get your stuff in” formula.

Yang is in at #5 (with a much more covered up Leia Meow) as we take a break. Back with Yang grabbing a neckbreaker across the top rope. A headscissors sends Kidman face first into the mat and Yang gets two more off something like an Iconoclasm. For absolutely no logical reason, Yang sits on the second rope to try and suplex Kidman to the floor. Instead Kidman hits a super Kid Crusher for the elimination.

It’s Jamie Noble in at #6 and scores with a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a reverse suplex. Kidman throws him down with a belly to belly suplex and takes Jamie to the top for a super Michinoku Driver and another near fall. Noble better win if they let him kick out of that. Jamie gets in a jumping tombstone to put Kidman away and Rey Mysterio is in at #7.

Rey quickly sends him outside and slides under the bottom rope into a tornado DDT on the floor. I don’t think I’ve seen him do that one since, or at least not very often. Back in and Jamie catches a springboard in a sitout powerbomb for two, only to have Rey hit his sitout bulldog. A springboard diving headbutt gets rid of Jamie and it’s Lash Leroux in at #8. Lash grabs a tilt-a-whirl side slam and a seated dropkick gets two. Rey counters what looked like a BK Bomb into a faceplant (he’s Kidman’s partner after all) before a split legged moonsault eliminates Leroux.

Shannon Moore is in at #9 with something like a springboard Rough Ryder for an early two. A Whisper in the Wind misses but Shannon lands on his feet, only to have Rey trip him down into a bridging pin to get us down to the final two. Kaz Hayashi is in at #10 and kicks the winded Rey, because a gauntlet match causes you to be winded after four minutes in the ring. A helicopter bomb gets two for Kaz but Rey sends him shoulder first into the post. Rey takes it up top for a super sitout bulldog and the pin, giving him the title shot against Chavo.

Rating: B-. These matches are hit and miss for me as they’re a lot of fun but at the same time I take issue with these clean falls taking place in about a minute each. If you can pin someone that fast here, why can’t you do it that quickly in a regular match? That being said, the match was fast paced and entertaining, which is SO much more fun than the main events that I have to watch at double speed to stay awake.

Jeff Jarrett laughs at Hugh Morrus for losing on Monday and gets punched out. Laughing ensues.

Glacier video, followed by Norman Smiley actually meeting his hero. Glacier says he has Norman’s back tonight.

Here are the Cat and Miss Jones with something to say. He announces the same three matches we already knew about for the pay per view before making Jarrett vs. Morrus and Scott Steiner/Animal vs. Kronik for tonight. That means it’s time to dance.

Ric Flair has a master plan. Can we ever have a villain with just a plan? Why does everything have to be a master plan?

Shane Douglas tells Bam Bam Bigelow that he can be in Flair’s group if he beats Rick Steiner tonight.

Norman Smiley vs. Mike Awesome

I could go for more of Major Gunns in black with the red maple leafs. No Glacier in sight and Norman looks a bit nervous. They run the ropes to start but stop. WIGGLE TIME! Awesome slowly pounds him down as the announcers discuss the improvement Awesome has undergone. Norman gets in a clothesline and loads up the Big Wiggle (Tenay: “Is he looking for Glacier?”), only to be run over again. Tony has to cut off Tenay from talking about the main event but a neck crank from Awesome pulls Tony into the 1997 style of commentary all over again.

Cue Glacier, with Tony acting like this is some huge deal. Glacier takes his sweet time (you might say he’s moving like a gl…..yeah that’s bad even for me) and stops to wave at the fans, allowing Awesome to suplex a distracted Norman. A slingshot splash gets two for Awesome, followed by a powerslam for the same. Glacier’s music is still playing as he walks around the ring. Tony: “The match is still going on. Of course it is.” The Awesome Bomb finally puts Smiley away.

Rating: D. I’m amazed but somehow this superhero worship is actually a step up over the hardcore stuff. Glacier is just a comedy guy here and that’s all he needed to be, especially given how much of a joke his first run really was. Smiley vs. Glacier could be an amusing angle but somehow Glacier would probably wind up going over.

Post match Glacier gets in the ring and tells Awesome to bring it as Mike leaves. Glacier does the post match karate demonstration and shoves Norman away.

Post match Gene Okerlund rips on Glacier, who is oblivious to everything wrong with what he just did. Norman collapses and Glacier says he’s here to clean up the evils of WCW. This was actually kind of funny.

Here are Kwee Wee and Paisley with something to say. Kwee Wee, calm again here, issues another open challenge and we’re already on a fan before he can even get the words out of his mouth. Kwee Wee drags him over the barricade and gives the plant a piledriver until security drags Kwee Wee away. If they were actually serious about pushing him, WCW would let him be Alan Funk (or any other name that doesn’t bring back Terry) and take away the pink and the glitter, but I’m sure the lack of getting over is his fault at this point.

Kronik says Animal and Steiner are going to get smoked tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Hugh Morrus

Before the match, Jarrett goes on about how he’s beaten Page before and he can do it again at SuperBrawl. Morrus charges the ring and hammers away with the smile on his face. The announcers ignore the match in the first minute to talk about the main event as Morrus gets two off a powerslam.

They head outside with Jeff already resorting to cheating with a chair to the ribs. Jeff starts in on the knee but does that always stupid looking jump off the top with the sole intention of landing on a raised boot. Morrus gets in a top rope elbow but cue the Wall to try a chokeslam. That’s broken up but Jeff goes for the guitar, allowing Wall to get in the chokeslam on the second try. A Stroke gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: D+. This was better than it should have been and at least they’re going forward towards a logical match like Wall vs. Morrus. I mean, no one is going to want to see it and it won’t draw any money but at least it’s logical, which is a step up for WCW. It’s also good to see Jarrett back in the midcard where he belongs instead of teasing more World Title runs.

Ron Harris vs. Crowbar

Of course, and to make matters worse, Daffney has a megaphone. Harris starts fast by pounding Crowbar in the corner and planting him with a side slam. A quick cross body gives Crowbar two and I’d assume that’s it for his offense. Harris takes him outside for a whip into the barricade, allowing Don to get in some stomping. Back in and Ron grabs a sleeper followed by a clothesline but something like a Death Drop gives Crowbar a breather. He scores with a moonsault and it’s time for TWIN MAGIC! The neck brace switches and Don ends Crowbar with something like a Rock Bottom.

Rating: F. This is the new WCW: a place where Crowbar and Kwee Wee, who have worked very hard to get over the genius characters of as close to gay as we can get without saying it and battling car wash guy who thinks it’s 1974, are treated like morons and jobbers because RICK STEINER, LEX LUGER AND THE FREAKING HARRIS TWINS need pushes. In other words, take every single problem WCW has had with its booking over the years and do it again because we need to show how it’s going to be different this time.

Rick Steiner is willing to beat up Bam Bam Bigelow to prove a message to Shane Douglas.

We go to a long video of Tenay meeting with an orthopedic surgeon to talk about Sid’s leg injury. Basically he snapped it like a pencil and will be on crutches for up to three months and then in therapy for up to a year. Like Sid or not, that’s one of the worst injuries you’ll ever see.

Rick Steiner vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

If Bigelow wins, he’s on Flair’s team. They slug it out to start until Rick grabs a belly to belly, followed by a Steiner Line and another belly to belly. Good to see he’s going versatile this week. Bigelow comes back with a quick slam and the flying headbutt hits way too early. Greetings From Asbury Park is countered with a DDT, followed by an elbow drop for two. Another DDT sets up the Steiner Bulldog for the pin, despite Bigelow not really being touched as he went down.

Ric Flair knocks out the Cat with brass knuckles. We also see Nash and Page laid out.

Rick Steiner tells Kronik to go to the ring for the main event while he takes care of these three. So he’s a repetitive wrestler and a trained medic? Shane comes in and hits Rick with his chain.

Kronik vs. Scott Steiner/Road Warrior Animal

Before the match, Steiner yells at Kronik for making a horrible decision. He’s ready for Nash too because Nash is going to get the same treatment that Booker T. and Sting received. Animal and Clark get things going, preventing that LOD vs. Demolition reunion showdown that we were all looking forward to. Stereo shoulders give us a stalemate so Animal’s clothesline and elbow drop get two.

Adams comes in and we get the REAL showdown, only to have Animal bring in Steiner to stomp on Adams in the corner. A quick full nelson slam puts Scott down and the heels bail outside where Clark takes them down with a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Scott plants him with a butterfly powerbomb, meaning it’s time for the push-ups.

Steiner charges into a boot though and the hot tag (Tenay’s words) brings in Clark to clean house. The Meltdown gets two on Animal but here’s Totally Buff to break up High Times. Animal breaks up the full nelson slam as Buff chokes Cat on the floor. Now the High Times is good enough to pin Animal. Tenay pushes this as a major upset, despite Kronik being former multiple time Tag Team Champions and Steiner/Animal never teaming before.

Rating: D. I actually didn’t hate this as there’s a simple idea here and the younger (I think?) guys went over clean. It gets really tiring seeing an established team losing to two guys who happen to be good tag wrestlers with their regular partners but WCW actually went with the logical ending here. I’m as shocked as you are but this could have been a lot worse.

Steiner comes back in with the pipe to beat Kronik down and end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I know the running line about WCW is that everything goes down after the cruiserweights but this was one of the worst cases I’ve seen in a long time. This Elite story isn’t even warmed over NWO at its best and the wrestling is getting weaker and weaker every single show. At the end of the day though, it’s seeing people like the Harris Twins, Totally Buff and Rick Steiner getting so much TV time. These people just are not interesting and it’s showing more and more with each passing show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Sin
Date: January 18, 2001
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 6,617
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

We’re down to three WCW pay per views to go and the build to this one hasn’t exactly instilled me with confidence. The main event is a four way for the World Title with a mystery man included. Based on everything else WCW has done with their attempts at surprises in recent years, I really can’t imagine this going well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video lists off the seven deadly sins with shots of people in the major matches. I’d think WCW has had far more than seven sins, such as bringing in Russo, keeping Russo, David Arquette and I could probably go on for a long time.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Chavo is defending and Shane asks his partner Shannon Moore to let him do this on his own. They hit the mat to start with Shane grabbing a Fujiwara armbar to send Chavo over to the ropes. A hammerlock does the same and it’s time for Chavo to fire off some chops. That earns him an armdrag down, followed by a fireman’s carry into a facebuster on the knee.

It’s off to the floor with Chavo being sent into the barricade as this has been almost all Shane so far. As expected I spoke too soon as Chavo comes back with an Alabama Slam for two which Tony says is part of Chavo’s new attitude. We hit the chinlock for all of three seconds before Shane fights up and grabs a running neckbreaker. The X Plex (not a dragon suplex Tony) gets two on the champ but Chavo sends him outside for a big dive off the top.

Shane is right back up and sends Chavo outside for something like a frog splash cross body to drop Guerrero. A Samoan drop gets two for Shane but the Vertebreaker is countered. Shane settles for the Nightmare on Helm Street for a very close two. Back up and Shane tries it again, only to be reversed into a tornado DDT attempt. That’s countered as well but Shane still can’t hit the Nightmare, allowing Chavo to grab a brainbuster to retain.

Rating: B+. I really dug this one as they were just hitting each other with one big spot after another until Chavo won a wrestling sequence because that’s his bread and butter. Shane is clearly a star in the making though and the division is really looking up with all the other names around to have great matches with Chavo or whoever has the title in the near future.

The announcers talk for a bit because the opener was entertaining so we need to slow things down before the crowd has too much fun.

Earlier today, Ric Flair arrived but still won’t reveal the Mystery Man.

Big Vito and Johnny the Bull are ready for Reno because this is what Vito stands for.

Reno vs. Big Vito

They’re brothers who are fighting over Reno picking the Thrillers over family though this feud hasn’t been talked about much in recent weeks. Johnny has disappeared between the backstage segment and coming to the ring with no explanation of why he’s not here. Just have Vito say “I’m handling this one myself” or don’t have Johnny, who didn’t say anything, there for the promo.

Reno powerslams him down to start and stomps away for two. It’s time to go outside with Vito being sent into various metal objects until he comes back with a clothesline to get his first offense. There’s a superplex for two on Reno but he stays on his feet after an enziguri. Instead Reno sends him shoulder first into the post so the pounding can continue. Vito finally comes back with a Mafia kick and a top rope elbow for two. The inverted DDT is broken up though as Reno throws him down with a t-bone. Back up and Reno reverses a backdrop for Roll of the Dice and the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but nothing I’m interested in watching. Vito has gone from someone showing promise to being just another guy on the roster who loses most of the time. Reno is someone who looks like he has potential but there doesn’t seem to be anything under the surface.

Mike Sanders talks to Brian Adams like he’s an idiot but pays him off anyway. Bryan Clark comes up with money of his own for a better job.

Jung Dragons vs. Noble and Karagias

Bonus match. Evan and Kaz slug it out to start until Kaz lifts him up for a German suplex. Everything breaks down and a double dropkick lets the Dragons clear the ring, followed by a double moonsault as a bonus. Back in and Kaz throws Evan off the top to break up a superplex, only to be dropkicked out of the air (mostly at least as Evan wasn’t quite on target).

Karagias side slams Kaz so Jamie can add a top rope legdrop for two, followed by a hard cross body for two more. Evan loads up Kaz for a gorilla press but gets countered into an attempted tornado DDT, only to have that reversed into a spinebuster to plant Kaz. Jamie comes in and blasts Yang off the apron to prevent the tag so Kaz kicks him in the head to put Noble down.

Now the hot tag brings in Yang to speed things WAY up, which is quite surprising given how fast it already was. Evan springboards down onto Kaz and Yang counters Noble’s hurricanrana into a super Batista Bomb for two of his own. A 450 gets another near fall on Yang but Kaz springboards in with a DDT. Yang COMPLETELY misses Yang Time (as in Jamie didn’t even need to move) so he has to grab a small package to pin Noble instead.

Rating: B+. Sweet goodness they’re working hard tonight. This was an excellent cruiserweight tag match but do you really expect anything else from any combination of these two and 3 Count? They just know how to put on entertaining matches with high spot after high spot. Really fun match here that didn’t overstay its welcome, which is so important in a match like this.

Totally Buff arrives in an old purple car. Their backup plan with Goldberg is to have someone run in to get him disqualified so he’ll be fired. Why has no one else ever thought of that?

Mike Sanders vs. The Cat

This is for the commissionership and the services of Ms. Jones, who is supposed to be with Sanders here but comes out with Cat. Sanders says he wants to keep the job for the money and nothing else. Cat is bald for a change of pace. Yeah Sanders is here for the money but Cat is here for the people. We actually get a fan poll to waste a few seconds until Sanders jumps him from behind to take over. Mike is now in trunks with his Thrillers muscle shirt for a really weird look. Cat chases him to the floor for a bit but Sanders keeps pounding away as this is going nowhere to start.

Some right hands in the corner have Mike in trouble so he low blows Cat for a break. A high sunset flip doesn’t work on Cat as he crotches chops and then hits Sanders in the head. Mike tries a chair but Jones takes it away and kicks him in the back. Cue the Thrillers to beat up Cat as the referee is yelling at Jones, only to have Kronik come out and save him, revealing who paid the higher amount. Clark shoves the money in Sanders’ mouth (Why?) and Cat gives him the Feliner to become Commissioner again, basically guaranteeing that Flair goes evil soon. Somehow the referee didn’t see or hear ANY of that because of course.

Rating: D. Yeah it’s the worst match of the night but it’s not even six minutes long and was entertaining enough. Neither guy is worth much in the ring so it’s a good idea to have one of them being a talker instead of a full time wrestler. Cat is a fun enough guy so this was fine for what it was, which to be fair wasn’t much.

Flair and Goldberg see Totally Buff arriving and talking about the DQ. Ric makes it No DQ and then introduces Goldberg to a friend of his whose son is a fan. Goldberg signs an autograph and takes a picture……which seems to lead nowhere. Ok then.

Jeff Jarrett says Scott Steiner can trust him but no one else. Oh and Gene will be back in the retirement home if he doesn’t stop spreading these rumors. The announcers make sure to point out that Jarrett sounded defensive.

Team Canada vs. Filthy Animals

This is a six man tag with a penalty box, meaning if you break a rule you’re out for a designated time period. Jim Duggan is guest referee. Team Canada (Lance Storm, Mike Awesome and Elix Skipper with Major Gunns) come out in the Team Canada bus. Storm accuses Duggan of being in the Animals’ back pocket. Duggan reads off the list of things that could draw a penalty to really drag things out.

Storm and Mysterio start with Rey (with Kidman and Konnan here) headscissoring Lance into the corner. Rey gets crotched though so Storm brings in Skipper but the referee says that wasn’t enough of a tag. Awesome complains too and bumps Duggan, meaning he’s in the box for one minute. So Storm gets triple teamed for a bit with Konnan powerbombing Rey on top of him for no cover.

Skipper gets back in and gets planted by a Kidman suplex. Awesome pulls Kidman down from the apron and gets penalized with storm being thrown in for a pull of the hair a few seconds later. Konnan scores with a rolling lariat on Skipper before putting on something like a Koji Clutch crossed with a Kimura on the mat (actually called a Mr. Salty).

That goes nowhere so Rey drops a leg as the other Canadians come in. I mean, it’s not like the penalties have meant anything here but they’ve been happening. Skipper tries to Matrix up but gets taken down with a reverse DDT for two. A missile dropkick puts Konnan down but Elix lands on his feet like Koko B. Ware used to do.

Konnan headscissors and Rey tries a Bronco Buster, only to be sent to the box because Awesome is on the ropes. Kidman is sent with him for no apparent reason, allowing the women to get into it over a water bottle. That means both of them are sent into the box as Skipper puts on a chinlock, much to Storm’s chagrin. Konnan finally puts Storm down and the hot tag brings in Kidman to clean house. A powerbomb plants Storm again and the now legal Rey backdrops Kidman over the top to take Lance out again.

Everything breaks down and Skipper is thrown in the box somewhere in there. Awesome tries to cut Kidman’s hair for some reason and goes to the box as well. Tygress adds a Bronco Buster to Storm and gets boxed as well. The Kid Crusher gets two on Storm with Awesome making the save. An Awesome Bomb plants Rey and Kidman taps to the Maple Leaf for the win.

Rating: D. What a freaking mess. Not only was there no sense of logic in the penalties (yes they were called straight but that’s not how something like this is supposed to go) but the match was all messy with the penalties not really meaning anything since the wrestlers in trouble wouldn’t have been able to tag out anyway. There’s too much going on here and having the heels in the box most of the time defeats the point of the match.

Sanders says the Thrillers are ready to get the Tag Team Titles back.

The Insiders are getting ready.

We recap the Hardcore Title match which saw Terry Funk coming back and destroying Crowbar at Starrcade to take the title. Crowbar decided he wasn’t being serious enough and went back to his roots, only to have Meng come in and beat both of them of to make it a three way feud.

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Terry Funk vs. Crowbar

Funk is defending but Meng comes in with the title. Daffney is in the aisle so Funk grabs her by the hair to draw Crowbar out for some chair shots to the champ’s head. They fight into the back and we get the women’s restroom raid. Meng finally joins them and puts Funk in a trashcan for a quick beating. They leave the restroom with Funk throwing a trashcan at Meng’s head to little avail.

Funk has his head rammed into a metal door and starts punching at the air before helping Crowbar throw a pile of tables on top of Meng. They go back into the arena with Crowbar putting Funk on a table and climbing up onto some tarped off seats (Tony: “Those are reserved seats.” Reserved for who? Elvis?) for a double legdrop.

Meng comes back and hammers on Crowbar before kicking him down the ramp. Funk is back up and hits Meng in the head with a snow shovel (thankfully sold) before slamming Crowbar through a piece of barricade (which just happened to be standing in front of the regular barricade).

Crowbar comes back (of course) and starts in on Funk’s knees as Tony makes vague references to Beyond the Mat. A Figure Four on Funk is broken up as Meng comes in off the top (!) with a splash. Funk and Crowbar take turns beating on Meng with chairs until he goes down. That’s it for them working together though as Crowbar chairs Funk, allowing Meng to blast Crowbar in the face. The Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the title.

Rating: D+. This was entertaining enough and that’s exactly what it needed to be. Having someone like Meng as champion was probably the best idea they could have gone with as the person who finally knocked him off would look like a much bigger deal as a result. The weapon stuff was fine here but more than anything else it helped to have someone so different in there. You can only watch people hit each other with chairs for so long before it loses all appeal.

Flair gives Cat and Miss Jones the rest of the night off.

Sid, still in street clothes with less than an hour and a half in the show, is ready to win the title that belongs to him.

We recap the Tag Team Titles. The Insiders won the belts twice but the Thrillers won a tag team battle royal so tonight it’s a match with any two Thrillers getting the show.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Insiders

Nash/Page are defending. Sanders comes out to say this isn’t going to be so easy but cue Flair to say everyone else is out so this is two on two. Page and Palumbo get things going with a slugout from the old man, followed by a clothesline. A spinning Rock Bottom gets two and a Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor.

Back in and a double tag brings in Nash to stare down at O’Haire, who moonsaults over Nash and superkicks him to take over for the first time. Palumbo comes in and takes clotheslines from both champs, only to have O’Haire nail Page from behind so Chuck can get in the Jungle Kick to drop Page. A double slingshot suplex (cool) gets two for the Thrillers as we hear about the RAGE building up in Kevin Nash.

Page reverses Palumbo’s tombstone into one of his own and both guys are down. O’Haire is tagged first but accidentally punches Page into the tag to Nash as everything breaks down. Cue the Thrillers as Nash powerbombs Palumbo. The referee goes after the thrillers as Lex Luger comes out to distract Page for no logical reason. This allows Buff Bagwell, dressed as a plumber, to come in and hit Nash with a wrench. The Seanton Bomb gives the Thrillers the titles. Tony: “Why Buff why?” Because he’s a heel you dingbat.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but WAY overbooked near the end. At least Nash took the fall, after a bunch of interference and a wrench to the back of the head of course. There’s something to be said about the fact that the Insiders got two title runs out of being transitional champions from one set of Thrillers to another. The match was what you would have expected of course.

The announcers talk about the Goldberg tag match.

Sanders says the Thrillers have plenty to celebrate tonight and Buff was acting on his own.

Flair, who apparently saw NONE of that, is off to get the Mystery Man. “It’s SHOWTIME!”

We recap Shane Douglas vs. General Rection. The General accidentally squashed Torrie Wilson to write her off TV but Shane wanted revenge in the form of that US Title. Rection kept the title at Starrcade so it’s time for a rematch with First Blood rules.

US Title: General Rection vs. Shane Douglas

Rection is defending and this is First Blood. That’s not enough though as there’s a chain hanging above the ring to make the bloodletting a bit easier. Rection wants Shane checked for a chain, which would be perfectly legal in a match like this. The referee finds one and takes it away because even the referees don’t understand the rules of the match. Since it’s a first blood match, Rection starts with a wristlock and armdrag into an armbar. Rection: “ASK HIM!” Ask him what exactly?

Tony tries to cover by saying it’s going to wear Shane down so Rection can use the heavy offense to make him bleed. Makes enough sense, marking a first in this match. Rection gets smart and punches at the forehead before blasting Shane with a top rope clothesline. No Laughing Matter gets Rection crotched and Shane starts in on the leg. This would be a much better match if it didn’t have the First Blood rule making a lot of this offense look questionable.

We hit the Figure Four on the champ (it’s horrible) for a few moments before they head outside for some play time. Shane hammers away with right hands in the crowd before wrapping the bad leg around the post. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Rection gets free and grabs a ladder. The chain is pulled down but the referee gets bumped. Shane finds the chain the referee took away from him and blasts Rection for the blood and the title.

Rating: D. Really lame First Blood match but a decent regular match. Unfortunately this was billed as something with a special gimmick and that’s not what we got here. The chain and ladder aspects didn’t need to be here and really dragged this one down but I’d rather have someone like Shane with the title than a guy named General Rection. There was just no way around that name.

Scott Steiner doesn’t care what Ric Flair puts in front of him.

Rection says it’s not worth it anymore.

We recap Totally Buff vs. Goldberg/Dewayne Bruce which is going on because WCW insisted on the feud continuing after Goldberg beat Luger twice. Luger went after Goldberg’s trainer and set up this match with the idea that they can beat Bruce and get rid of Goldberg by ending the Streak.

Totally Buff vs. Goldberg/Sgt. Dewayne Bruce

No DQ and Bruce is coming in with a broken arm. Goldberg and Luger start but the threat of a superkick sends Bagwell bailing out to the floor. A big old shoulder drops Luger to start and a butterfly suplex sends him over into the corner to Buff. Bagwell: “ME?” Goldberg: “Yeah you!”

Bagwell comes in and gets gorilla pressed into a spinebuster before it’s off to Bruce for the first time. A middle rope elbow gets two on Bagwell but Sarge runs into a double back elbow to start the obvious beating. Buff gets one off the double arm DDT with Goldberg in for the save before the referee even went down for the count. Luger’s forearm gets two and Goldberg’s kick for the save clearly didn’t make contact.

Sarge reverses a suplex to take Buff down and it’s off to Goldberg to clean house. Goldberg throws Luger to the floor where he lands right in front of the kid that Goldberg signed an autograph for earlier. The kid maces Goldberg, allowing Luger to hit him with a chair while the kid stands at ringside with security just letting him hang around. A super Blockbuster lets Luger get the pin to retire Goldberg and shock the crowd.

Rating: D-. You know who should have gotten that pin? Sean O’Haire, Mark Jindrak, or one of the other Thrillers not named Stasiak. Instead though, it’s Lex Luger, because HE needed a rub. You think this is leading anywhere for Luger? Of course not, because it’s LEX LUGER. Swap Totally Buff out for the Thrillers and let them have the meaningless Tag Team Titles while the Thrillers get to have the win that actually matters. I get that Goldberg had to leave (due to needing shoulder surgery) but they really had nothing better to do than have Lex Luger fight him for three straight pay per views? This company deserves to die.

Goldberg has his eyes washed out as the announcers talk about what a tragedy this is.

We recap the World Title match which is basically Steiner vs. the World with the question of who is Ric Flair’s Mystery Man.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Sid Vicious vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Mystery Man

Steiner is defending and this is one fall to a finish. There’s no Mystery Man to start so it’s a triple threat, as was advertised for a good while leading up to this show. Steiner goes after Flair so Jarrett has to bring him back to the ring where Sid is waiting on both of them. Sid gets double teamed and Jarrett is actually ok with letting Steiner go for the covers. The Push Up elbow gets two on Sid and Steiner hits him with the belt for good measure.

Jeff covers for two and this time Steiner is fine with it. Hudson: “Something is going on between Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner.” Sid suplexes both guys (well kind of a DDT to Steiner but close enough) and starts clotheslining. A chokeslam gets two on Jarrett and Steiner is planted with a cobra clutch slam. Jeff is whipped over the barricade and we cut to Flair getting the Mystery Man out of the limo.

We come back….and Sid’s leg is bent like a pretzel after coming off the middle rope (off camera), basically ending his full time career. Steiner does push-ups to stall while we wait on the Mystery Man before choking with his boot. Now the Mystery Man comes out (to Flair’s music) as Hudson realizes that Sid has a broken leg. The Mystery Man is in, hits Sid once, and lets Steiner pin Sid to retain.

Rating: D-. You have to forgive them for the ending as Sid’s injury took away whatever else they had planned. I’m sure the result would have been the same but it’s not fair to criticize them for having it fall this flat when Sid couldn’t move. Unfortunately you can blame them for the rest of the match with all the standing around waiting on anything interesting to happen. This wasn’t even eight minutes long and the stuff before the leg injury was barely six of that. There was no way this was going to be good and it’s made even worse with all the nonsense they packed into it.

The Mystery Man is Road Warrior Animal. Yeah, as in the guy they said was as big of a star as The Rock and Steve Austin. I’m really not sure if Tony is shooting or not as he freaks out that it’s actually Animal.

Overall Rating: D. Dang it they really can’t get out of their own way sometimes. If this show had just been altered slightly with the cruiserweight tag coming later on the show and say Cat vs. Sanders opening things up, the show would have been much easier to sit through. Unfortunately WCW has way more problems than the order of the matches though as there was just no way to get around all the horrible stuff they had to throw out there to protect the top names. It’s a bit of an upgrade but still has so many of the same problems that got them in trouble in the first place.

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Starrcade 2000
Date: December 17, 2000
Location: MCI Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 6,596
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

We’ve uh…..arrived. It’s the final edition of WCW’s flagship show and it’s looking somewhere between a bad C show and a horribly unfunny joke. The main event is Scott Steiner (won the title three weeks ago) defending against Sid Vicious (not in the promotion three weeks ago). Such is life in the dying days of this company. Let’s get to it.

Before we start, here’s a good idea of how bad it’s gotten for WCW. The attendances for the last four Starrcades, all in the same arena.

1997 – 17,500

1998 – 16,066

1999 – 8,582

2000 – 6,596

In three years, the attendance has fallen by nearly two thirds. That’s impossible to defend.

The opening video makes this look even more of a disaster than it’s likely going to be.

3 Count vs. Noble and Karagias vs. Jung Dragons

Ladder match for the #1 contendership, which will somehow be give to one man, making me wonder why this isn’t just a six way match. Champion Chavo Guerrero Jr. is on commentary. Oh and they’re starting with tags because LADDER MATCHES (remember that this is after the first TLC match) needs law and order. Kaz and Moore hit the mat to start until they crash into each other to put both guys down.

Shannon goes for the ladder but Evan will have none of that because that’s not how a well organized ladder match is supposed to go. Everyone goes for the ladders and it’s 3 Count sneaking in to go up at the same time until the Dragons make the save. Yang dropkicks a ladder into Noble and Karagias, followed by Kaz moonsaulting onto the ladder and the two of them. A double flapjack sends Kaz into the ladder but Evan pulls Noble down, making the entire idea of the match a waste of time.

Yang sends Noble hard into the ladder and busts out Yang Time (phoenix splash) off a ladder on the middle rope to crush Shannon. Shane is back up and sends Yang to the floor for a big flip dive of his own. That’s the start of the big set of dives (Chavo: “Keep killing yourselves boys.”) until Yang shoves Noble off the ladder and onto the pile for a great crash. Yang bridges a ladder into another one but Evan slides back in for a suplex.

With Evan on the bridged ladder, Kaz tries to springboard in, only to get powerslammed out of the air for a great looking landing. Shannon springboards onto the ladder for a Fameasser onto Evan, leaving Shane to grab a neckbreaker to bring Noble off the ladder. Yang, Noble and 3 Count go up two different ladders so Noble sunset bombs Helms down and Shannon plants Yang with a sleeper drop.

Cue Leia to go after Noble as two more ladders are brought in. Yang flips Evan off a ladder in the corner and into a Kaz powerbomb (cool spot) before erecting a scaffold with one ladder bridged into three others. I’ve heard worse ideas actually. Noble and Karagias take out 3 Count before Kaz gets knocked off the scaffold. That leaves Shane and Yang on the scaffold, allowing Shannon to headscissor Yang down for another crash. Jamie gets hiptossed off as well, leaving 3 Count to pull down the contract at the same time, again defeating the point of the stipulations one more time.

Rating: B. It has nothing on any of the WWF counterparts but this was a bunch of fun spots with six guys who wanted to show off out there. As always you can see people trying their hardest instead of just phoning it in as so often happens. Oh and well done having this match go on first so that it’s going to be forgotten an hour and a half into the show while Bam Bam Bigelow or Shane Douglas are out there as the midcard draws because WCW exists as a haven for people like them.

Jim Duggan is polishing his board (dude CLOSE THE DOOR) when Lance Storm comes in to say no one is going to take Jim back. If Duggan wants a paycheck, his future is with Team Canada. After all those times where Duggan has screwed up, why would Storm want him around?

Jeff Jarrett asks Mike Sanders to make the six man against the Filthy Animal a Bunkhouse street fight.

Kronik is in a steam room and will be getting paid tonight, cash in hand. Adams: “Wow, am I baked.”

Lance Storm vs. The Cat

No Duggan with the Canadians here. Storm has something to say before the match, which Hudson calls a Canadian gimmick. Lance rips on the Presidential elections again so here’s Cat to do his usual “I’m going to beat you up” stuff. They start slowly with a lockup on the ropes and a clean break. You really can feel the hatred here. An armdrag puts Storm down but he comes right back with a wristlock.

That earns him a few kicks to the chest but Major Gunns grabs Cat’s foot, nearly triggering a catfight. Tony: “Speaking of accidental and speaking of cleavage.” The women get inside for no action until Storm takes over with a jawbreaker. You know, as part of the wrestling match. Storm spends too much time yelling to the crowd and has to kick out of a small package. Cat throws him into the air for a low blow (with the referee cringing) before being sent outside to hit Skipper in the head with a bottle of water.

Now the women actually get involved as Jones accidentally kicks Cat, earning herself a dropkick from Gunns. Back in and Storm missile dropkicks Cat for no count as the referee is still getting up. Cue Duggan to pull back the board to hit Cat but instead it’s a halfhearted clothesline to set up the Mapleleaf to make Cat tap.

Rating: D. Not the worst match in the world but I’m getting tired of having everyone having to work down to Cat’s level. Storm should be able to fly around with anyone but he’s stuck with this dancing goon who can’t work a straight seven minute match because it’s beyond his physical capabilities. Now can we PLEASE get Duggan on to something else?

Team Canada beats Duggan down post match.

The ambulance arrives.

Buff Bagwell, now an interviewer, says he had to be on the show to draw a rating because pay per views have ratings. The Filthy Animals come in and aren’t worried about Jarrett and the Harris Twins no matter what the stipulations are.

Reno and Vito tell the Thrillers to mind their own business tonight.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Crowbar

Crowbar is defending but first Daffney has to yell at him over the 70s clothes. Thankfully Funk jumps him with a fire extinguisher to get things going in the back. Funk sends him into various objects for two as Hudson tries to figure out how Terry got a shot after just coming back. Uh, I believe it’s because Crowbar said “yeah you can have a title shot.” That gem is followed up by Tony talking about Terry retiring the same year that Starrcade debuted and having a title match seventeen years later.

They fight in the back of a production truck as Hudson gets the date of Clash of the Champions IX: New York Knockout wrong. Crowbar gets hiptossed out of the truck and through a table but comes back by slamming a door onto Funk’s head. Funk pops up and does the same thing to Crowbar a few times over as Hudson says Crowbar is someone’s son. You know, because Funk isn’t.

Funk handcuffs him and blasts Crowbar in the head with a chair because the 1999 Royal Rumble is ripe for nostalgia. They head into the arena (not back into the arena Tony) with Funk bringing a car door with him to blast Crowbar in the head again. Now it’s time for a table (ignore the thing bending in the middle along a line that clearly shows it’s pre-cut) but Daffney pulls Crowbar off.

Terry goes after her but I’m sure he’s still the face in the match because he’s old and therefore awesome. Crowbar, still handcuffed, fights up and dives through Funk and the table for two. Another chair shot to the head sets up a piledriver onto the door to give Funk the pin and the title.

Rating: D. So Crowbar is built up as something special in the hardcore division and then he faces a legend and loses in a glorified squash. But hey, another old name gets to be a champion in WCW and that’s what really matters. This is another head shake inducing moment and that’s the sad part about WCW.

Storm rants about Duggan still being American and says it’s time for Team Canada to move forward. Gunns screws up her only line so Gene tells her he’s got a pole she can run that Canadian flag up.

Lex Luger has brass knuckles ready for Goldberg.

Kronik vs. Big Vito/Reno

Before the match, Adams implies that Marie is the one paying them off. It’s a brawl to start as Hudson suggests that Marie being the one behind this could be the story of the year. Is it even the story of the match? Vito powerslams Clark and drops a leg for two before Reno gets the same off a neckbreaker. An elbow stops Clark’s comeback as Adams goes outside to yell at Marie. Vito goes to save his sister but the distraction lets Clark get in his flip dive from the apron.

Back in and Vito clotheslines Adams for two as we’re just waiting for the big swerve. A full nelson slam and belly to back suplex drop Vito for two and it’s off to a chinlock because this wasn’t slow enough already. Cue the Thrillers to distract Reno so Kronik can get in a double big boot to Vito. A double cross body body puts Vito and Clark down and it’s the tag to Reno, who immediately Rolls the Dice on Vito…..for a pinfall. Good thing they went that long before doing something else stupid.

Rating: F+. I hate these stories because it sets up the potential of something interesting and then rips it away in the span of a few weeks. Why bother having them get back together if they’re going to be split up just a few weeks later to get us back to where we started? Why bother having them even be brothers in the first place? Huge waste of time here and a bad match on top of that.

Post match Reno pays Kronik off and rejoins the Thrillers, making this whole story a complete waste of time. Kronik beats Vito up a bit more.

3 Count argues over who gets the title shot tomorrow night so Chavo comes in and beats them down.

Hugh Morrus goes on a rant about how he’s not going to be a stepping stone for Shane Douglas.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mike Awesome

Ambulance match because that’s what Awesome does, or at least did months ago before the 70s nonsense. Madden: “Mike Awesome has never won an ambulance match.” But it’s his SPECIALTY right? Awesome climbs the buckle for a jumping back elbow to the face to start but Bigelow takes it outside and drives Awesome into the post. Bigelow sets up a chair in the aisle and they ram each other into the side of the ambulance.

Awesome ducks a right hand to send Bigelow’s fist through the window so let’s go back to the ring because this thing MUST KEEP GOING. Both guys are sent into the announcers’ table before Bigelow backdrops him through a regular table. They head back to the ambulance (with the driver still in the cab looking more bored than most of the fans) and Bigelow goes up top, only to be knocked through the roof to give Awesome the win.

Rating: F. Just nothing here with both guys beating on each other minus any particular rhyme or reason. I don’t know why I’m supposed to care about these hardcore guys when Bigelow is WAY over the hill, Awesome has been a comedy guy for months and Terry Funk is the champion after having beaten the other 70s guy. I’m sick of these matches eating up so much time and going nowhere but it was something in ECW and that’s what matters I guess.

Reno says the Thrillers are his real family. Sanders and the Perfect Event are sure they’ll retain the titles. Gene promises to slap Stasiak one day.

US Title: Shane Douglas vs. Hugh Morrus

Morrus is defending and we’ll go with the old name because they’re being used interchangeably at this point. Shane promises to rip a hole in Morrus’ heart, meaning it won’t take 36 days to determine who won this contest. A bunch of chops don’t do much damage to Morrus early on but a poke to the eye works a bit better. We almost get a crash into the referee but the second attempt hits Shane as it was supposed to. A low blow and right hands have no effect either so Hugh grabs a bearhug. This draws a GOLDBERG chant of all things until Shane finally bites his way out.

No Laughing Matter is broken up and Shane gets in a piledriver but opts to pose instead of covering. Off to a neck crank for a bit before they go back outside for more nothing. Shane goes hard into the post to draw some blood (hardway it seems) but another moonsault misses. That means it’s chain time but Morrus breaks it up with a belly to back suplex. Cue Chavo to throw the chain back to a stunned Douglas…..before telling the referee about it to draw a DQ.

Rating: D-. Gah this story continues to do nothing for me. Shane Douglas really isn’t interesting but Morrus is even worse now that he’s finished with the war against Canada. I still don’t see Morrus as someone who should be at this level either and it’s really hard to buy him here. Unfortunately he’s one of WCW’s only options as everyone on the roster is FIRMLY stuck in the places with little opportunity to move up without turning 40 years old.

Shane beats on him with the chain post match until Chavo comes in for the failed save. The Misfits come in to clear Shane out but Lash sides with Chavo and AWALL sides with Morrus.

Steiner goes on about how he’s going to win tonight and then have a great night with the freaks.

Glacier is still coming back.

Nash and Page laugh off the idea of Perfect Event as any kind of a threat and make jokes with Buff.

Jeff Jarrett/Harris Twins vs. Filthy Animals

Bunkhouse street fight, meaning the third hardcore based match assuming you ignore the ladder match. There are weapons all around and in the ring, including a bar and a popcorn machine. The Animals quickly clean house as Tygress sits in on commentary. The spray painted trashcans have the Nashville World Order (commentators’ words) as this is even more mindless brawling.

Jarrett is sent face first into the popcorn and the Twins both get Bronco Busters. Back in and Jarrett gets slammed off the middle rope and through the bar for two. Well at least the wood erupting looked good. Rey comes off the top with an atomic Arabian facebuster with a Wrong Way sign on Don. There’s nothing going on between these big spots other than some punches and kicks.

Jarrett finally counters a hurricanrana and powerbombs Rey over the top into a dumpster. The match actually settles down into a regular tag match because the words STREET FIGHT are lost about seven minutes in. A double big boot drops Kidman as the fans start getting into things. It’s almost like presenting old school wrestling on a wrestling show instead of hardcore match after hardcore match is a good idea. Ron cuts off a hot tag attempt and hands it back to Jarrett for a chinlock.

Kidman finally flips out and grabs a Bodog, setting up the hot tag off to Konnan. You can actually see the fans paying attention and caring about the match with such a simple story. Take that Russo. The H-Bomb puts Konnan down and it’s table time but Rey comes out of the dumpster with a broom for a double clothesline. Another H Bomb puts Rey through a table though, leaving Kidman mostly on his own. The Kid Crusher looks to set up the shooting star but a bottle to the head lets Jarrett get in the Stroke for the pin.

Rating: C. Other than the ladder match, I think I liked the wrestling section in the middle of this match better than anything else on the show tonight. It was so nice to hit the brakes for a bit and just watch something out of a wrestling match. But hey, where would we be without an exploding bar and a popcorn machine?

Sarge thinks Goldberg is ready for Luger. Lex runs in and beats him down until Buff gets rid of him.

We cut away from this and look at the weapons being taken away.

The announcers talk about Goldberg to kill time.

Tag Team Titles: Insiders vs. Perfect Event

Perfect Event is defending and this is a rematch from last month where the Insiders won the titles but had them stripped away because they pinned the wrong man. Before the match, Flair says the title change hands if Sanders goes anywhere near the ring. You know, aside from being at ringside as a manager. Nash and Palumbo get things going with Kevin hitting some running clotheslines in the corner.

Chuck wants a timeout so Stasiak gets in a cheap shot from the apron, only to have Page get tagged in a few seconds later for a flying shoulder. Page ducks a boot in the corner and crotches Stasiak against the post. A belly to belly gets two but Shawn gets out of the Diamond Cutter. Page hits a quick Rock Bottom (called a chokeslam which is close enough) but Palumbo sneaks in with a Jungle kick to put Page down.

After a few near falls, Page throws Palumbo into the corner for some right hands, only to be thrown into the wrong corner for a double stomping. Some kicks to the ribs have Page in trouble because a three year old injury still isn’t fully healed. That’s a very slow healing injury. Palumbo hits him low to stop a comeback but a single forearm allows the tag off to Nash.

Sanders low blows Page on the floor and Stasiak gets two off a top rope clothesline. The camera misses a Diamond Cutter to Stasiak on the floor (because Page doesn’t sell low blows) and here are Jindrak and O’Haire to get laid out as well. Nash kicks Chuck in the face and the Jackknife gives the Insiders the titles back.

Rating: D+. The match was actually decent with the old school formula but the same problem stands: the Insiders, a team thrown together about five weeks ago, have now decisively beaten the Thrillers twice in a row to give them another unnecessary title. As late as it is, this is another on the long list of things that killed WCW. At some point, you have to have these old guys lay down and take a big fall from someone under the age of thirty.

Recap of Goldberg vs. Luger, which is happening because Luger was a big deal ten years ago and therefore should have a prominent role on the show instead of having Goldberg winning the title like he should. Goldberg beat Luger last month but a referee was speared so it should have been a DQ, requiring this rematch. There’s also been stuff with Luger beating up Goldberg’s trainer to try to add more interest to a match no one wanted to see in the first place, let alone a rematch.

Goldberg vs. Lex Luger

No DQ to add a fourth hardcore based match on a ten match card. They fight at the announcers’ table to start with Goldberg easily taking over. A clothesline puts Luger down in the ring and a powerslam puts him out on the floor. Luger sends him into the post and barricade so here are Sarge and Bagwell for no apparent reason.

Back in and Luger hides behind the referee to avoid the spear before the brass knuckles knock Goldberg silly for two. The Blockbuster hits Goldberg “by mistake”, ignoring the fact that Luger was touching the turnbuckle when Bagwell jumped. Bagwell hits Sarge to officially turn heel, leaving Goldberg to hit the two moves to reach 31-0.

Rating: D. Just like last month, no one cares about Luger but for some reason he was pushed in this spot instead of having Goldberg get a major push and win the title again as he should have done. The Sarge stuff was fine but there was no logical reason to have Luger here. Goldberg is way past the point of needing a worthless rub from Lex Luger and since we need Sid in the main event, here’s what we’re stuck with for no apparent reason. The match was a somewhat passable brawl but Goldberg squashed him for the most part, as you would expect.

Bagwell lays Goldberg out with the chair post match.

We recap Sid Vicious vs. Scott Steiner. Basically Sid never lost the title back in April, then he disappeared for about seven months and came back to fight Steiner here. That’s really about it for the story, which sums up this show so well.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Sid Vicious

Sid is challenging. Steiner pounds him into the corner to start but Sid catches him with some clotheslines and a side slam to send the champ outside. Back in and Steiner poses a lot before easily winning a test of strength. Sid gets back up and puts Scott down, setting up a legdrop across the face for two.

They head outside where Midajah gets in a steel pipe to Sid’s back, followed by some chair shots from Steiner. Back in and Steiner easily presses Sid for a few curls, followed by the spinning belly to belly. The Recliner goes on but Sid is too close to the ropes to make sure this continues.

Scott gets it on again and good grief it looks HORRIBLE as Sid’s back is straight and Steiner is clearly not even pulling back. You can make that hold look devastating but this is worse than Rock’s Sharpshooter ever hoped to be. Sid starts to fight back so Midajah comes off the top for a high cross body which hits the champ by mistake. The chokeslam (Sid’s back is fine. Why are you asking?) gets two on Steiner so we hit a cobra clutch of all things.

Steiner slaps the referee before getting slammed, meaning there’s no count. Pipe to the back gets two and here’s Jarrett with the guitar to hit Scott by mistake. In an awesome moment, Sid covers for two but Jeff pulls Robinson to the floor and tries a clothesline, only to have Robinson duck underneath and slide back in for the two count. Two low blows set up a t-bone suplex and the Recliner makes Sid pass out (of course) to retain.

Rating: D. And that’s probably very generous. The highlight of this match was a referee ducking a clothesline and sliding back into the ring to count a near fall. Not the wrestling, not the brawling and not the finish, but a referee. Among its many obvious problems, the issue here was how nothing this match was. There’s no reason for these two to really be fighting other than the title being stripped eight months ago and that’s barely been mentioned. This whole main event has been treated like an afterthought and that’s perfect after this mess of a show.

Steiner holds up the belt, with one of the side plates hanging off, and flips off the fans to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. You can add Starrcade to the list of things that this company has wrecked. Looking at the show and its buildup, this was just about exactly what I expected. The main event was nothing, Goldberg’s match was an excuse to have Luger on the show for whatever reason……and I’m already having issues thinking of the rest of the card because it was that forgettable.

The show felt like a card they scraped together with whatever leftovers they had at the time and then slapped STARRCADE on the marquee. Nothing on this show felt like it mattered or seemed important or had any other purpose than making sure the same people were in the same spots as we head into 2001. The really fun ladder match at the beginning was forgotten by the end of the show due to all of the other hardcore messes in the middle, which was probably the idea at some point. Why let them get over when the made men can get over even more?

Above all else, this show was disappointing. Any given Wrestlemania card can be lackluster and still feel like something special on the strength of being Wrestlemania alone. That should be the case with Starrcade but I might as well have been watching Uncensored or Souled Out with what we got here.

What happened on this show? Steiner retains the title, Sid is treated like a nothing wrestler (fair enough), Goldberg wins as he always does, we’ve set up a tag match involving a career jobber who is now a big deal because he trains wrestlers, the Insiders got the titles back and Rey Mysterio was powerbombed into a dumpster. Why not have Steiner win the title here instead of at Mayhem? Ah yes, because Mayhem fit his name and that’s going to save the company. Steiner winning like a monster is fine but give him the big moment at the big show instead of at the nothing show.

This show was a huge mess but in a different and much more disappointing way than the Russo shows. Those things were all about someone having no idea what he was doing flying off a cliff because no one told him no. This show was a bunch of people who might have been interesting at some point giving up and just fulfilling obligations with no ambition or plans on how to make things feel interesting or important for the fans. Here lies Starrcade and it’s very sad to see it go down like this.

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Thunder
Date: December 13, 2000
Location: Centurytel Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Konnan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

It’s the final show before the biggest show of the year and the big match announced for tonight is Sgt. Dewayne Bruce vs. Lex Luger. Odds are Sid and Steiner aren’t going to be in the arena tonight because the idea for the match seems to be based on them being apart as long as possible before we get to the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional Nitro recap, which begins with Crowbar and Terry Funk. Not the World Title situation, but a guy in the 70s with a female friend who dresses in 60’s clothes getting beaten up by a guy who won his first World Title nearly thirty years before this show. Only in WCW.

Mike Sanders welcomes us to the show and gives Chavo Guerrero Jr. the Perfect Event. He’s welcome to find a partner if he wants but otherwise, we’ll just make it a handicap match.

Ric Flair cuts into the interview and demands that Sanders makes sure Lance Storm sings the National Anthem. Sid and Steiner are welcome to fight tonight because Ric is tired of trying to keep them apart. Finally, Sanders will be facing Diamond Dallas Page tonight.

Opening sequence.

Tony: “THIS MUST BE THUNDER!”

Evan Karagias/Jamie Noble vs. 3 Count

Evan is still in the 3 Count entrance video because no one cares enough to fix it. They start brawling and here are the Jung Dragons to make it a three way dance.

Evan Karagias/Jamie Noble vs. 3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

Karagias springboards in with a double clothesline to take out the Dragons before grabbing a neckbreaker on Yang. We settle down to Evan vs. Noble vs. Shane because teams mean nothing around here. Jamie suplexes Shannon and Konnan seems to be having a great time on commentary.

It’s off to Kaz as Konnan talks about what sounds like OMEGA, which isn’t something you often hear about. Everything breaks down and a Vertebreaker (no reaction from commentary) plants Kaz. We get a ladder brought in before Shannon plants Evan with a Fameasser (Bottoms Up here), only to have Noble and Karagias superplex Shane, allowing Evan to steal the pin.

Rating: C. Best match WCW has had in weeks and it was just ok by these guys’ standards. The ladder match should be a blast and at least they have Chavo waiting on the winners instead of whatever nightmare a match against Sanders would have been. It’s also nice of WCW to get this out of the way before it could pick the show up later on.

Scott Steiner beats up Kwee Wee as part of a contest where you can win an ATV.

Storm says he doesn’t know the words to the National Anthem so he can’t sing it. Duggan: “I KNOW THE WORDS! I’LL TEACH YOU!”

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Perfect Event

Non-title and Chavo doesn’t have a partner. Stasiak gets things going as Konnan makes some references to bathhouses. We see the Misfits watching from the back as Chavo gets in Stasiak’s face and takes Palumbo out to the floor. Palumbo can’t get a delayed vertical suplex and gets clotheslined for two, only to have Stasiak make an easy save. Stasiak puts Chavo down again and we see the Misfits clearly wanting to come out and make the save. Chuck dropkicks Chavo in the back as Stasiak flapjacks him for a near fall. In the back again, Lash is told to stay in the back and we cut to a double flapjack putting Chavo away.

Rating: D+. Did Chavo turn face and no one told us? He was slapping hands on the way to the ring and you can’t expect someone to be booed when they’re fighting two heels at a time. If nothing else this makes the Misfits look like heels, which certainly wasn’t what they were going for here. This was a mess of an idea and as usual I doubt they have any idea what’s going on.

Sid is on the phone and says to not let Steiner leave the building because he’s ten to fifteen minutes away.

Meng finds Kwee Wee down on the floor (because he hasn’t gotten any assistance in roughly fifteen minutes) and wants revenge on Steiner.

Reno and Big Vito beat up Bam Bam Bigelow for hitting on Marie. Well at least he has good taste.

Sarge is ready to fight Luger tonight.

The music lessons continue. Duggan: “OH SAY CAN YOU SEE???” Storm: “Who is Jose?”

Luger yawns and reads a magazine.

Video on Sid vs. Steiner.

Video of Goldberg on the Man Show.

Flair gives Meng a World Title shot tonight.

Here’s Storm to sing the National Anthem. Storm doesn’t want to sing so here are the Cat and Ms. Jones to interrupt, complete with a picnic basket to enjoy the performance. The music sings and Storm misses his start before going into “blah blah blah” for the lyrics. Storm screws up again so Cat tells Duggan to sing instead. Duggan is glad to do it and gets about halfway through until Cat throws hot dogs at Storm. That’s enough to set up a match.

The Cat vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan forearms him a few times but tells Storm he doesn’t want to fight. Cat is sent outside for a beating from Skipper but Duggan says not so fast. The 2×4 is loaded up but Duggan sees a “Hacksaw, come home” sign. He hits Storm by mistake and that’s enough to make Duggan rip off the Canadian shirt. The Feliner (more like a kick to the arm) puts Duggan away in a hurry.

Post match, Storm gives Cat one of the best looking superkicks I’ve ever seen, including some tuning up the band. Tony: “What was he stomping on the mat for?” After the Canadians leave, Cat helps Duggan to his feet.

Video of Sarge training people. It’s two people but they are indeed people.

Steiner isn’t worried about Sid or Meng.

Luger hits Goldberg in the head with a baseball bat. And I’m sure charges are coming later tonight right? Naturally the announcers treat this like Luger going to catering.

Sid calls in and needs directions.

Sgt. Dewayne Bruce vs. Lex Luger

Luger has his old face music here. The fans chant for Goldberg as Luger drops to a knee and offers a test of strength. Bruce kicks him down a few times so Luger pulls out a wooden baseball bat to knock him cold. The Rack gives Luger the easy win.

Luger keeps stomping on Bruce and shouts for Goldberg to get out here.

Post break Luger bails as fast as he can.

Page thinks it’s funny that he’s almost twenty years older than Sanders.

Reno and Vito are ready for Kronik. They’ll be having the same match on Sunday so you might as well just do the swerve tonight.

Bruce is checked out for neck and rib injuries.

Daffney wants Crowbar to drop the 70’s thing.

Video on Starrcade’s big matches, the same one that aired on Nitro.

Reno/Big Vito vs. Kronik

Reno and Adams start it off with Brian hitting a cool gorilla press gutbuster for an early two. A double elbow drops Adams though as the crowd is just gone for this. The full nelson slam plants Reno and it’s off to Clark for a beating in the corner. For some reason Clark sends Reno into the corner for a tag off to Vito. That’s quite the arrogance.

Vito Mafia Kicks him for two, only to get suplexed down for the same. They head outside and this is more intense than it really should be but at least they’re working hard. A Russian legsweep sends Vito into the barricade and seems to wake him up a bit, only to have Adams put on a chinlock. Cue Jarrett and the Harris Twins to knock Konnan out cold in an attempt to wake the crowd up. An F5 gets two on Vito and it’s off to Reno, who walks into High Times for a very quick pin.

Rating: C. This was much better than I was expecting but the swerve that you can almost guarantee for Sunday really isn’t something I’m looking forward to. It’s ok to just have a team be a team for a bit without having some big screwy finish thrown in. Vito and Reno are basically the new and improved Mamalukes and the idea is actually working better than it has any right to.

Kronik keeps up the beating but Vito fights them off.

The sitdown interview this week is with Shane Douglas, who talks about coming through the ranks to get here and wanting the best competition. There are a lot of demons in his closet but he wants to face them all. We hear about Torrie being gone without the words “Torrie” or “Wilson” actually being used and Shane insists that they were much closer than just friends. Shane is ready for Morrus on Sunday and wants to use the US Title as a stepping stone to the World Title.

The Thrillers have laid out Kevin Nash.

Mike Sanders vs. Diamond Dallas Page

We recap the Thrillers attacking Nash’s knee (which was either last night if you listen to Tony or Monday night if you follow the graphic) before we get going. They slap each other in the face to start before Page easily takes over and sends Sanders to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline.

Back to the announcers’ table for the first time in a whole match and it’s time to hear from Sid. He’s STILL lost because it takes an hour and a half to find what is likely the biggest building in a city whose population was 56,000 people at the time. Page starts slugging away in the corner before Pancaking him down for two. The Diamond Cutter hits but the Thrillers come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Of course this was about Page beating up one of the younger guys who was treated like a joke of a threat. I think I’ve vented about my issues enough times now, assuming there’s any doubt about what’s wrong with this mess. Just give Page and Nash the titles back so they can have their second big moment.

Page beats up four Thrillers for a bit until Palumbo and Stasiak come in for the real beatdown.

WCW World Title: Meng vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending and Meng has Paisley in his corner for reasons that still aren’t exactly clear. Before the match, Steiner talks about how Flair’s hired killer can’t even find the arena. Meng goes right after him to start and stomps Steiner down like any given jobber. The champ bails out to the floor for a bit before taking Meng down with a belly to belly.

A belly to belly superplex is broken up and Meng hits a half decent middle rope clothesline. He follows it up with a top rope splash for two but Steiner suplexes him again to take over. Midajah goes after Meng and it’s time for a catfight. The Tongan Death Grip is easily broken up and a t-bone sends Meng flying. Sid comes out as Steiner grabs the Recliner to retain.

Rating: C+. I’m a fan of Meng and the few times he’s gotten a chance to have a big match have turned out quite well. He did just fine beating on Steiner and looking good as a monster for the champ to survive while never being any kind of a real threat to take the title. Plus he found the arena.

Sid beats Steiner up in slow motion and chokeslams him to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Why do I have a feeling that Thunder is never going to reach this level again? There was some good action tonight in spite of the traditional bad booking. I still can’t get over the fact that Sid COULDN’T FIND THE ARENA. That’s their big idea: he got lost on the way there. I mean, you can’t just say he’s there or doing an interview or anything else besides making him look stupid? As usual, WCW decides to go with the worst possible idea and the company suffers as a result.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #269
Date: December 4, 2000
Location: Pershing Auditorium, Lincoln, Nebraska
Attendance: 3,433
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

Starrcade is rapidly approaching and WCW is clearly on its (final) last legs. We’re building towards a double main event of Goldberg vs. Lex Luger II and Scott Steiner vs. Sid for the World Title. If you need a better reason than that to explain why WCW is in the shape it’s in, you haven’t been paying close enough attention. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of most of the events from Mayhem and the fallout last week.

The Thrillers are in the back and they run into…..oh sweet goodness they run into OKLAHOMA, who is reading a speech tonight which is going to require security. TNA wishes they could do this kind of stupid stuff.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Oklahoma to get things going and for some reason he’s carrying a bowl. He introduces himself a few times and then stops so the fans can chant for the University of Nebraska. Tony says we only have six minutes for this segment to further destroy any feeling of legitimacy this might have and make me scream SIX MINUTES??? Apparently the bowl is here so the fans can be close to a bowl for a change.

After that hilarious sports commentary, Oklahoma says he’s here to issue a statement from Mike Sanders on Sid Vicious. After spending a minute or so talking about how awesome the security is, the announcement is that Sid isn’t allowed in the building. Cue Sid to beat up Oklahoma, which draws out Sanders with security to arrest Sid. Somehow we’re over eleven minutes into the show and the top face in the promotion (we’re in trouble) has been arrested. This is totally like Austin right?

After a break, Scott Steiner arrives and tells Sanders he wants Sid tonight. Sanders blames Flair for Sid being arrested so Steiner says no one is safe tonight.

Konnan isn’t worried about facing Jeff Jarrett tonight and wants a six man street fight at Starrcade.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Kwee Wee

Yes it’s Chavo again, which at least means I don’t have to try to keep Lieutenant Loco and Corporal Cajun straight anymore. Chavo breaks up the pre-match kiss with Paisley and we’re off in a hurry. Kwee Wee’s throat is snapped across the top rope which seems to wake him up for some right hands to the face. Something like a tilt-a-whirl faceplant gets two but Chavo floats over into a DDT. Chavo goes after Paisley with a chair and the distraction lets Kwee Wee get in a sunset flip for two. Some hero. A quick launch into the buckle sets up a brainbuster to give Chavo the pin.

Rating: C-. I liked this more than I was expecting to as the more aggressive Chavo was one of the only good things in the last few months of WCW. Kwee Wee continues to be one of the guys who was so crushed by a horrible gimmick that he couldn’t showcase all the natural talent he clearly has.

Sanders tells Flair what happened with Sid and Steiner so Ric is going to get Sid out of jail before the end of the show. At least going into Wrestlemania X7 Undertaker said it would take him twelve hours to get out of jail for going after HHH.

Kronik has a new client.

General Rection says what happened to Torrie was an accident because that’s now what MIA is all about. He isn’t worried about Chavo’s new attitude because tonight he has a World Title match. I don’t remember the last time the “US Champion is #1 contender” rule was enforced but I guess this is bringing it out of mothballs one last time.

Hardcore Title: Elix Skipper vs. Crowbar

Crowbar is defending and Storm wants the weapons taken away from ringside. This brings out the Cat and Ms. Jones while Storm sits in on commentary. Cat sits in as well to give us a five person booth. Daffney comes out with Crowbar to make sure this is as crowded as possible. Crowbar pulls out a bunch of weapons from under the ring, allowing Skipper to get in a few cheap shots to take over.

A shot with a steering wheel misses for the champ as Storm FINALLY talks about how Skipper didn’t bring these weapons into the ring. Duggan and Major Gunns get in some cheap shots so it’s time for a catfight. Cat and Madden get in a fight so Storm jumps Cat, only to have Duggan hit Storm by mistake. Crowbar gives Skipper the Mindbender over a car bumper for the pin to retain.

Jimmy Hart’s DJ challenge. Why it says this is a “paid paid” announcement from Jimmy Hart isn’t clear but I’d assume it’s because WCW is really bad at this stuff.

Stacy Keibler and David Flair are in the back. She’s happy to be back but won’t say who the father is. Ric comes in and has security escort them out because of the whole Steiner thing.

Reno asks Marie why his family has ignored him since he got out of jail. She’s just glad she has his brother back.

We look back at Luger attacking Goldberg on Monday and then running on Thunder.

Here’s Lex Luger with a copy of Goldberg’s book. Luger thanks the fans as they chant for Goldberg and talks about how Goldberg has thirteen days left in his career, unless he can win 150 matches in less than two weeks. Luger finally gets to the point as he talks about Sgt. Dwayne Bruce (Sarge, better known as Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker), the man who trained Goldberg to be a wrestler.

We get a selection from the book with Luger altering a bit of the book, much to Sarge’s annoyance. The only think I can think of is how much Sarge looks like a small Brock Lesnar. Lex rambles on for a LONG time about how poor Sarge is to finally wrap this up. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about a former sergeant/leprechaun who trained Goldberg but for some reason this is what we’re getting instead of Goldberg in the World Title match.

Norman Smiley is with one of the Nitro Girls when Scott Steiner storms in. Steiner asks Norman who he has tonight. That would be Goldberg so Steiner hits Norman with a pipe.

Shane Douglas promises to take out Hugh Morrus just like Morrus did to Torrie Wilson.

Morrus and AWALL say they have business tonight but find Corporal Cajun talking with Chavo. This isn’t cool of course.

Tag Team Titles: Insiders vs. 3 Count

So last week wasn’t a title match. Good to know. The Insiders are defending while Moore and Helms are looking forward to their three team ladder match for the #1 contendership to the Cruiserweight Title. Nash throws Moore into the corner to start and drives knees into the ribs. Oh yeah we’re firmly in squash territory here and it’s even worse than it sounds.

A LOUD WE WANT HALL chant starts up and we cut to Mike Sanders who says he has something big planned for the champs. Back in the ring it’s Page giving Helms the Pancake for two. A double suplex puts Page down as the fans (in theory at least) chant for DDP. The hot tag brings in Nash a few seconds later, setting up Snake Eyes and a super Diamond Cutter to put both guys down for the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: D-. Does this one really need an explanation? You have a team who is going to be competing for a title shot at the biggest show of the year getting squashed in less than five minutes by two veterans who probably just saw the titles and said “yeah we’ll have those this week”. Either give this match some time and let it be competitive (perhaps the time given to freaking Oklahoma where he made fun of Nebraska football fans) or just bring in local jobbers. I know it doesn’t mean anything now but this stuff is so endemic of one of WCW’s biggest problems.

Speaking of problems, post match here are Sanders and the Perfect Event to bring out Ric Flair. We see a clip from the title change at the pay per view showing the Insiders pinned the illegal man. Therefore, the titles are returned to the Perfect Event, likely so the Insiders can beat them again. Flair makes the rematch for Starrcade, which should complete the double beating.

Bam Bam Bigelow attacks Mike Awesome in the parking lot.

Reno vs. Kronik

This is the match where Kronik was hired but the referee throws it out after less than thirty seconds of double teaming.

Kronik keeps beating on him until Vito makes the save. Marie comes out to check on Reno as Vito walks away.

Glacier video.

Crowbar tells Daffney that they made a great team. She offers him a ride home but two women come up to leave with him instead. Daffney isn’t pleased.

Flair tells security to watch out everywhere for Steiner.

We see Goldberg giving a kid a WCW World Title belt on the Maury show.

Goldberg vs. MI Smooth

Forty nine seconds this time and Goldberg hugs Sarge after the latest squash.

Steiner says Flair is next.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Konnan

Jarrett accepts the Animals’ challenge for Starrcade but wants the Animals ejected before we get going. Konnan says it’s fine so Jeff jumps him from behind. A kick to the ribs and an X-Factor sends Jarrett out to the floor. Jarrett chairs him in the back to take over but Konnan gets in a shot to the knee. It’s a ruse of course as the Harris Twins come in for an H Bomb on Konnan, setting up the Stroke to give Jeff the quick pin.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. General Rection

Rection is challenging. Before the match, Steiner rants about all the guys he’s put on the shelf. Now it’s SID of all people so he wants Sid out here after this match. If Sid isn’t here, Steiner is coming after Flair. Scott jumps Rection during the entrance so Rection comes back with heavy forearms and a top rope clothesline. Midajah jumps on Rection’s back (Madden: “The luchador with implants.”) for the distraction and Scott takes over again.

That means more forearms and kicks to the ribs with a spinning belly to belly to refresh things a bit. We get the Tree of Woe choke for a bit but Rection backdrops out of a tiger bomb. Rection hammers away and knocks Steiner to the floor for a plancha. Back in and a powerslam sets up the moonsault for two, making it clear that Rection has no chance here. Another moonsault hits knees though and the Recliner makes Rection tap in a hurry.

Rating: D+. The match could have been worse but it continues the problem of building someone up only to crush them all over again. I’m fine with Steiner getting a big title defense but there was no reason to have the US Champion take a clean loss like this. Was there no one else on the roster that could have been in this spot? No one at all? Just more bad decision making which isn’t even a surprise at this point.

Post match Steiner heads to the back to get Flair as Shane Douglas comes in to hit Rection with a chain. Steiner finds Arn Anderson and beats him down to the ring for the Recliner. Flair tries to get out for help but Goldberg runs out instead, only to get jumped by Luger. You know, the guy who was just standing at ringside in case this happened. After that tease of Goldberg vs. Steiner in what should be the main event, Sid comes out but is held back by security to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The booking here is such a disaster that there’s almost no defending it. I have no idea why I’d want to see what they’ve got set up for Starrcade with mostly recaps from a show that wasn’t very good in the first place. The wrestling was its usual bad stuff that you had to expect but the real problem here is how badly they’re doing everything else. Steiner’s push has been acceptable but it should be setting up a showdown with Goldberg instead of Sid. Storyline or whatever aside, there’s no logical reason to not be setting that up. As usual, it’s a horribly run organization which has been the case for years now.

Monday Nitro #268
Date: November 27, 2000
Location: Metro Center, Rockford, Illinois
Attendance: 3,800
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

We’re past Mayhem and on the road to Starrcade with Scott Steiner now the World Champion for the first time. It’s hard to say where things are going now but hopefully things pick up a little bit after we’re done with another pay per view. If nothing else it should be interesting to see how things go to get to the biggest show of the year with less than three weeks of build. Let’s get to it.

We open with a special announcement over the new President….and it’s Jeff Jarrett hitting the guy making the announcement with a guitar. Thanks for that topical announcement.

3 Count vs. Corporal Cajun/Lieutenant Loco

It’s a brawl to start as the Misfits interrupt the singing to clean house. The announcers actually try to push last night’s show as a great event and a big deal with Steiner finally winning the title. Moore gets caught in the corner for a dropkick as things settle down a bit. The band takes Cajun into the corner as Madden tries to compare Helms and Moore to the Midnight Express. It’s not quite the League of Nations as the Horsemen but it’s still stupid.

Cajun springboards into an X-Factor on Shannon (Hudson: “Right onto his incredibly marketable face!” Clever line but I almost laughed at the idea of 3 Count ever being marketed.). It’s off to Loco but here are Noble and Karagias with a ladder to beat up 3 Count, allowing Loco to hit a suplex (called a brainbuster) for the pin on Shannon.

Rating: C-. As usual we had what could have been a good match but it’s brought down by interference to set up something else. That’s WCW in a nutshell: matches don’t exist to be matches because they’re there to set up another match down the line. Yeah the three way ladder match is going to be fun but they need to do something with these teams down the line and that’s just not going to happen.

Elix Skipper hits on Ms. Jones again so she knocks on a door to get the Cat out here. Wasn’t this a one off story like a month ago? Lance Storm sneaks in and hits Cat with a chair. Storm: “That’s why it’s TEAM Canada!”

The announcers talk about Steiner winning the World Title last night and think Sting deserves a title shot for retaining the King of Europe Cup at one of the German shows. For those keeping track, he won it back in like 1994 and defended it six years later. Now he gets a title shot out of the thing. Such is life in WCW, as usual.

Here’s Scott Steiner for his first chat as World Champion. After Hudson says this is Steiner’s thirteenth year in WCW because he can’t count (Steiner debuted in 1989 and wasn’t around for 1993), Steiner rambles about how awesome he is and how much he wants to hurt people. He’s already put Sting and Booker T. in the hospital and he’s destroyed Goldberg at Fall Brawl so there’s no one left for him to fight.

Cue Ric Flair so the announcers can again speculate that he’ll come out of retirement to fight Steiner. Steiner is now the flagship of this company but he can’t get off that easily. Flair has an opponent for Steiner at Starrcade and he’s a big star. Steiner actually suggests that it’s Austin or Rock and even does an imitation of the latter. Since this is WCW and they have no idea how the world works, Flair says that this star is just as big or Rock and Austin and will be around tonight.

We’re still not done yet though as Stevie Ray gets up to challenge Steiner for tonight. Steiner agrees if Stevie will put his career on the line, which is accepted. His announcing career right? I mean, it’s certainly not his wrestling career as he hasn’t had a match in months at this point.

The Boogie Knights don’t have the money to afford Kronik tonight. Yes this is still going.

Hugh Morrus is ready for Bam Bam Bigelow tonight.

Yang vs. Lance Storm

Storm has heavily taped ribs and promises to get back at Rection later. Yang grabs a rollup for two during the Canadian national anthem before punching him in the ribs. Back up and Storm gets in a superkick, followed by a backbreaker for two. The fans chant USA, which is actually appropriate here as Yang is from California. Of course it’s not likely that the fans know that so they just sound stupid.

A Rock Bottom gets two for Yang and he fires off some kicks at the ribs before elbowing Storm in the face. Yang hits a moonsault for two more but walks into a piledriver, only to have the women get into a fight on the floor. Cue the Cat to hit Storm with a chair, giving the unconscious Yang the big upset win.

Rating: D+. This worked better than some of the matches but the ending continues to defy logic. Yang isn’t getting a push out of this (due to reasons of “it’s WCW”) and now Storm gets another loss on his record while setting up something against the Cat. Like I said before: this wasn’t a match because it was a way to set up a match down the line.

Post break Storm yells at Jim Duggan for not having his back.

The Boogie Knights go to the Harris Brothers for protection tonight but still don’t have any money. That’s fine with the Brothers because they want……sandwiches. Egads this company can’t die fast enough.

Here’s Lex Luger with something to say. It’s time for a celebration because Goldberg’s career is coming to an end tonight. Luger rants about how awesome his life is but none of it means anything compared to this because he did wrestling a huge favor last night. See, last night when Goldberg speared a referee, that should have been a DQ and the end of the Streak. He’s appealed to Ric Flair and demands an answer tonight. So yeah, it really does seem that we’re getting Luger vs. Goldberg again at Starrcade and not THE ONLY LOGICAL MATCH WCW COULD HAVE FOR THE BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR.

A limo arrives.

Jimmy Hart is still issuing challenges to DJ’s.

Jeff Jarrett is talking to Gene when the Filthy Animals come up and throw eggs at him. Those boys need a role model.

Big Vito is making sure Marie is ok before she leaves. He leaves and Reno comes up to leave with her.

Jamie Noble/Evan Karagias vs. Boogie Knights

Not so fast as this isn’t happening.

Jamie Noble/Evan Karagias vs. Alex Wright/Ron Harris

Let’s get this over with. Ron throws Evan around to start and a slam gives Alex two. There’s a suplex from Alex and it’s off to Ron vs. Jamie for more squashification. Ron finally runs into a boot in the corner to give Jamie a hope spot in the form of a top rope clothesline. A big boot knocks Jamie down again to give Alex two more. Everything breaks down and a quick H Bomb puts Jamie away.

Can we PLEASE cut out this “beatdowns for hire” nonsense? It was dumb enough when Kronik was ripping off the APA but now the freaking Harris Brothers are doing this for SANDWICHES. It’s not funny, it’s not entertaining, it’s not intelligent and it’s not doing anything to mock the WWF. On top of that you have all these better teams losing to Alex and one half of the goons winning more often than not. Who does this help other than people who put it together and get a cheap laugh?

Another Glacier promo which thankfully is ripped apart again. Now that’s kind of amusing.

Ric Flair says Goldberg is fine because Luger pulled the referee in the way of the spear. That should be a DQ on Luger, but since WCW is about winning and losing, there’s going to be a rematch at Starrcade. So yeah, apparently winning via DQ isn’t really winning so we’re getting these two again because doing Goldberg vs. Steiner for the title LIKE EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY SHOULD DO is out of the question.

Here are Page and Nash with something to say. During the entrances (yes entrances because they’re not even pretending that they’re a real team), Hudson mentions them being partners many years ago. The fans want Hall because they love to cling to false hope as Page talks about their history, including managing Hall back in the day. The famous team is called the Outsiders but this team is called the Insiders.

Nash takes the mic but here are Sanders/Jindrak/O’Haire to the Wolfpac theme. Sanders thinks Page is trying to ride Nash’s coattails so they’ll defend against the Thrillers at Starrcade. Page thinks they should have a fight right now, which I guess is for the titles though it’s not quite clear.

Insiders vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

Jindrak and Page fight to the floor while Nash beats up Sean in the ring. Well of course he does. Nash gets in the framed elbows but charges into a boot. That’s fine though as Page comes in, only to take a low blow. The young guys stomp him down in the corner but Page counters a whip into a headscissors of all things. Everything breaks down and Jindrak eats a Diamond Cutter with Sanders pulling the referee out. Cue the rest of the Thrillers to beat down the champs, allowing Jindrak to pin Page. The Thrillers leave with the belts but this doesn’t seem to be a title match.

Rating: D. Other than that headscissors, this was a bunch of standing around punching because that’s all Page and Nash know how to do at this point. Jindrak and O’Haire getting a win, albeit a cheap one, is fine enough and about as good as they’re going to get because you know Nash and Page aren’t laying down for them.

Stevie Ray calls Scott Steiner a sad sack cracker jack.

Reno vs. Goldberg

The announcers basically say Reno can only win on a miracle. This one actually gets some time as Goldberg knocks Reno across the ring and gorilla presses him into a drop. A quick Roll of the Dice attempt is countered into a powerslam, followed by the two moves to make Goldberg 26-0.

Post match Luger comes in and hits Goldberg with a chair…..which Goldberg eventually sells. Luger Racks him for good measure.

The Filthy Animals don’t have much to say.

US Title: General Rection vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Rection is defending. Bigelow pounds on him in the corner and rakes the eyes like a heel should. Rection works on the arm and there’s just no reaction. Were you really expecting anything else here? He’s a guy with a comedy name who has won his big battle against Team Canada and really doesn’t have much of character outside of that. I really have no reason to care about him other than he was fighting for America but that doesn’t really work when he’s fighting against someone from New Jersey.

Bigelow slaps on a chinlock for a bit before some clotheslines and a suplex put him down. A top rope elbow misses so Bigelow powerbombs the champ…..and goes for a table. Never mind though as here’s AWALL to take it away, allowing Rection to kick Bigelow down and retain with the moonsault.

Rating: D. The crowd silence suggests that this wasn’t working and again I can’t say I’m surprised. At the end of the day, Rection isn’t interesting and while it’s nice to see them try and make a new star, this is about as far as things are going to go. It also doesn’t help when you have another big power guy in there as an opponent and the stupid AWALL thing to continue that thrown together feud.

Scott Steiner steals a camera and goes to the limo to find out his opponent. Now why did no one else ever think of this? It turns out to be full of Smooth’s women though because the other limo isn’t here yet. Smooth gets beaten up for general purposes.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match, Jarrett rails against Konnan for the prank earlier tonight. I mean it wasn’t funny or anything but it was indeed a prank. Tygress trips Jarrett five seconds into the match and Rey gets two off a springboard bulldog. Konnan gets on the apron to distract Jarrett so Kidman can trip him as well. Dang it act like faces already. The Bronco Buster is stopped by a raised boot (as always) but Kidman grabs Jarrett to stop him again. Even the announcers are treating Rey as the heel here.

Jarrett misses his running crotch again and a Lionsault gets two for Rey. Now it’s Konnan getting inside so Kidman can get in a low blow, followed by a Bronco Buster from Tygress. Rey’s springboard hurricanrana is countered into a sweet powerbomb but the Animals break up the cover after the Stroke. Jeff has had enough of this and blasts Rey with the guitar for the DQ. Madden brings up the obvious point: after everything the Animals did in front of the referee, THAT’S A DQ???

Rating: D-. This is another example of the biggest problem with WCW at the moment. Jeff Jarrett vs. Rey Mysterio could be an entertaining match between two very talented guys but instead we’re getting the Animals being all goofy and flat out stupid referees who either don’t notice or don’t care about what’s right in front of them. This was an insult to the fans’ intelligence and a waste of something that could have been entertaining.

Post break Jarrett challenges the Animals to a six man on Thunder.

The Starrcade opponent’s limo arrives.

WCW World Title: Stevie Ray vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending and Stevie’s career is on the line. Stevie jumps him in the aisle to start until Midajah gets in a pipe shot to the back. Hudson tries to push the idea of a ten year feud between the Steiners and Harlem Heat because a team that formed in 1993 can have a ten year feud in just seven years.

Steiner takes it inside for the big pounding before cutting off a comeback with a shot to the ribs. After a quick trip outside to yell at some fans, Steiner plants him with a belly to belly for two. Stevie kicks him in the face and grabs a bad DDT, only to have Midajah offer a distraction.

An even worse looking Book End puts Steiner down again for no cover. We get an awkward sequence where Stevie can’t get his boot up to Steiner’s ribs so they head outside where Steiner is sent into the barricade. Back in and another suplex gets two for the champ but he walks into the Slap Jack for one. The announcers are just burying Stevie for being blown up here. An electric chair drop sets up the Recliner to end this mess.

Rating: F. Yeah there’s no defending this and it’s clear that Stevie Ray had no business being in the ring at this point. You can’t be blown up five minutes into a match and drag the World Champion down in his first title defense. I get the idea behind the match but this was a disaster and one of the worst matches I’ve seen in a long time.

Post match Sid Vicious returns as the challenger for Starrcade. It makes sense given that he was never defeated for the title but it’s December 2000 and Sid Vicious is challenging for the World Title while Goldberg has another match with Lex Luger.

Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah they’ve given up. It’s clear that they’re just setting up a bunch of rematches and/or stupid matches at Starrcade because Sid is their idea of a draw. Yeah Goldberg vs. Luger is happening again for absolutely no logical reason and it seems that we’re still getting the Insiders vs. the Thrillers again, plus the three team ladder match.

WCW has given up on trying to do their best and is just throwing out whatever old names they have because for some reason it took them this long to get to Steiner. Why Goldberg, as in the guy who could conceivably draw money as the World Champion, is stuck carrying Luger to another bad match is beyond me but that’s what we’re getting because Steiner needs to beat up a “legend” at the biggest show of the year. This is another great example of an idea that should have been a layup but somehow WCW has managed to screw it up because that’s how things work around here.

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Mayhem 2000
Date: November 26, 2000
Location: Wisconsin Center Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,800
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mark Madden

We’re running out of pay per views here with just four more after this one. Things are about as bad as they’ve been since Russo left, including a rather uninteresting main event of Booker T. defending his World Title against Scott Steiner (again) in a match that really isn’t the biggest secret. Let’s get to it.

We open with Booker arriving and being mobbed by the fans that are always allowed backstage near where the wrestlers enter the building.

Steiner arrived and destroyed a table for no logical reason.

The opening video focuses on Booker vs. Steiner (with the latter in a straitjacket), Goldberg vs. Luger and Nash/Page vs. the Perfect Event.

Earlier today, CEO Ric Flair promised us great wrestling tonight. That lying scumbag. Madden: “I don’t trust him.”

Cruiserweight Title: Kwee Wee vs. Mike Sanders

Sanders is defending after Kwee Wee won a six man match to earn the title shot. The entrance really shows how tiny the title belt is. That thing looks like a cheap toy. Sanders slaps him in the face before the match and eats a Thesz press. Tony: “He’s going to fight Angry Alan instead of Kwee Wee here!” Stevie: “He’s going to fight WHO???” Tony: “That’s his alter ego! Don’t you pay attention?”

Sanders gets knocked to the floor in frustration so here are the Thrillers for a cheap shot. Stevie doesn’t understand how the referee didn’t care that Kwee Wee was laid out when Sanders was in front of the referee’s eyes. We get the double beal into a powerslam from Sanders (sweet spot) so here’s Meng (accompanied by Paisley in a Meng afro wig) to go after the Thrillers, who can’t beat him down.

Ric Flair brings out security to pull Meng off as the match continues to be completely ignored while this goes on. We actually pay attention again with Sanders dropping a dancing knee for two. Off to a chinlock as Madden says Paisley is out here because of the size of her chest. Kwee Wee springboards into a sunset flip for two as we hit the lame comeback. Madden: “This never happens to Paul Tagliabue.”

Kwee Wee actually tries a sunset bomb over the top tot he floor but gets hurricanranaed (kind of) for a counter. Paisley slaps Mike in the face so he rips off her afro, earning himself a handspring elbow and not a DQ for no logical reason. The referee sends her out, allowing Mike to get in the 3.0 (Orton’s backbreaker) to retain.

Rating: D. WAY too much going on but what else are you supposed to do when you have a match that no one is interested in and two guys who aren’t the best workers in the first place? Sanders is a fine talker but he’s killed that title worse than anyone I’ve seen in a very long time. Just bad in general here and not a great way to fire up a crowd.

Flair says no wrestlers are allowed at ringside unless you’re in the match, valets excluded of course.

The Boogie Knights try to buy Kronik AGAIN but Disco doesn’t have enough money. They’re in the ballpark though so Kronik will work for half of a fifteen minute match, which Disco thinks is eight minutes. Apparently it was going to be a handicap match but since Konnan isn’t here and Disco is hurt, we’re getting Rey Mysterio/Kidman vs. Alex/Kronik. So was it originally Konnan/Mysterio/Kidman vs. the Knights? That’s what they booked?

Evan Karagias sounds like a moron but it turns out that he used to date Jamie Noble’s sister.

Crowbar arrives with two women and sings some Bee Gees. Someone has sent him flowers and promises to be watching. No word on why the Hardcore Title was in his dressing room before he arrived.

Noble and Karagias vs. 3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

3 Count is left in the ring while the other four brawl in the aisle before Noble and Karagias are stuck on the floor while the Dragons fight with 3 Count. It’s time for a dance off because of course it is and Madden isn’t sure if he should cheer for Evan or not. We settle down to Evan chopping Kaz before it’s off to Jamie for a wristlock on Helms. Moore comes in for a spinwheel kick to help Shane’s German suplex.

Jamie pops back up with a powerbomb though and Yang tags himself in for a quick double team on Shannon. It settles back down to Kaz beating on Moore before we trade some rollups which the referee misses. I’m not sure what the point of that was but it was long enough to be a segment of the match. Kaz kicks Shane in the head and brings in Yang to clean house.

Shannon plants Yang with a sleeper drop for two as everything breaks down. Noble tombstones Yang but the Nightmare on Helm Street gets two on Jamie with Evan making the save. Now it’s time for the dives with Leia diving on five guys at once. Jamie pulls out a ladder because of course he does but it gets left outside as Noble crotches Yang on the top.

Evan ducks a dive which hits Shannon instead, setting up a double two count. Well it was called a double two, even though only Kaz kicked out and the referee should have counted a fall on Shannon. Thankfully Stevie is right there to rip on the referee for being so horrible, as he’s been doing all match. Back up and 3 Count grabs a Samoan drop/swinging neckbreaker combo on Yang for the pin.

Rating: B. There’s your match of the night and it wasn’t even anything all that great. WCW clearly wants these guys to be their Edge and Christian/Dudleyz/Hardyz but instead of elevating them, these six guys are stuck in an eternal hamster wheel of having the best match on the show but going nowhere. At least this was fun though and at least it didn’t open the show, even though it probably would have been a better option.

The announcer suggest that 3 Count deserves a Tag Team Title shot (they do but of course that would never happen) but instead we cut away to Bam Bam Bigelow beating down Mike Awesome.

Alex Wright insults Pamela and we recap the Boogie Knights buying Kronik for seven and a half minutes. In other words, the story hasn’t changed in the last fifteen minutes.

Jimmy Hart insists that he has a bad leg. Okerlund: “That cast looks about as real as Major Gunns’……” Jimmy: “It’s real!” Somehow this is a rematch from earlier in the spring because of reasons.

Reno says he’s got the Hardcore Title on his own tonight.

Mancow vs. Jimmy Hart

Mancow seems to have some fans here tonight and he’s allowed to have his sidekicks around tonight because this isn’t a sanctioned match. We get a quick recap (Hart insulted Mancow on his radio show) and Mancow says Jimmy is the Al Gore to his George W. Bush. Of course the injury is a fraud and Jimmy hits him in the back with a crutch. Cue 3 Count to make a save for no logical reason, allowing Mancow to take off the cast and hit Jimmy for the pin. I wonder who didn’t make the show for the sake of this mess.

Mike Awesome is taken away by medics.

The Misfits want to help General Rection tonight but he says Flair has banned them. They do however get new shirts as a consolation gift. Flair comes in and asks to talk to Sgt. AWALL.

Bam Bam Bigelow and Lance Storm are talking about something.

The Filthy Animals aren’t worried about Kronik.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. Big Vito vs. Reno

Crowbar is defending. Vito and Reno slug it out to start and here’s Crowbar (apparently with an injured abdominal muscle) to join them a few moments later. Vito throws the champ through the ropes and onto Reno before busting out the kendo stick. Of course Vito has his own bag of Italian flag themed weapons to beat on both guys as this is already going nowhere.

Everyone beats on everyone as Madden thinks you should just bring a gun in. Stevie: “The way the referees are working around here that might work.” Reno and Crowbar start double teaming Vito before Reno baseball bats him in the back. Tony wonders what goes through your mind when you swing a bat at a man’s back. All three fight backstage with Reno powerslamming Vito through a table. Cue Reno’s sister Marie to break up a chair shot, allowing Crowbar to hit Reno with a chair of his own to retain.

Rating: F. Either get rid of the division or let Crowbar and Smiley do goofy stuff with it because this serious stuff (including Reno vs. Vito) is just so freaking boring. It’s just brawling with nothing interesting going on and an attempt at a story which goes nowhere either. Get rid of the thing or try something interesting because this is the worst stuff they’re doing with actual wrestlers.

Buff Bagwell arrives. For some reason this is a big deal.

Kevin Nash and Diamond Dallas Page actually explain what SOL means.

Gene is with the Cat and Miss Jones, the latter of whom he calls delicious. Cat says he’ll leave the country for thirty days if he loses tonight. Gene: “Ms. Jones, I could rock your world sweetheart!”

Rey Mysterio/Kidman vs. Alex Wright/Kronik

Tony confirms that yes, this was going to be three Filthy Animals vs. the Boogie Knights. Remember that Kronik is only out here for seven minutes and thirty seconds. Tygress sits in on commentary to drive me crazier than Mancow ever could. Disco is at ringside to violate Flair’s rules.

Kidman headlocks Adams to start and is immediately launched across the ring. An armdrag puts Adams down as Disco is at the announcers’ table plugging WOW Magazine where he’s listed as WCW’s Wrestler of the Month. Kidman grabs a sleeper as Tony says there’s a WCW Magazine to plug instead. The full nelson slam plants Kidman and Alex tags himself in for two. It’s off to Rey vs. Clark with Mysterio being tossed into the corner for a beating from the orange giant.

A bulldog drops Clark and sets up a springboard legdrop for two. The announcers debate what Tygress calls Rey (Papi) as he’s caught in a sitout powerbomb. Again Alex tags himself in for two before kicking Rey in the face. It’s time for a tag but Kronik leaves, 6:11 into the match. The fact that they have a stopwatch makes this even dumber. Kidman and Rey beat Alex down as the announcers debate Tygress’ “stuff”. The Nutcracker Sweet puts Wright away.

Rating: D. Who was this supposed to benefit? The Knights look like they can’t win a match on their own and the Animals can only claim a victory in a handicap match. Kronik comes off looking the best here as Clark beat Rey and Kidman on Thunder by himself and now the two of them leaving changes the course of the match. They’re the ones who come out looking smart, save for that whole not being able to tell time thing.

Mike Sanders has a plan for the Tag Team Title match.

Scott Steiner says he’s out of his mind and that means he’s at his best.

The Cat vs. Shane Douglas

Shane gets kicked to the floor to start and goes after Ms. Jones, who kicks him in the head to save herself. Cat goes after Madden to continue their ridiculous feud, allowing Shane to slam Cat back inside to take over. We hit the choking and the neck crank for a bit before Cat comes back with his weak variety of strikes.

There’s the Feliner but Cat is dizzy for no apparent reason, meaning Ms. Jones has to shove him into the cover for two. The women go at it on the floor before heading inside for more brawling. In the melee, Shane finds a chain to blast Cat for two. Shane stops paying attention so Jones pulls out a briefcase containing the loaded red shoe, which knocks Shane silly for the pin.

Rating: F+. This is on a LONG list of matches you could cut to improve the show. Who in the world wanted to see this James Brown nonsense again with the Cat cheating more than Shane cheated to win? Cat is a funny guy at times but this is another feud that wasn’t interesting in the first place and then had a bad match on top of that.

All of Jeff Jarrett’s guitars have been destroyed and Bagwell may have been behind it.

General Rection (or Hugh as his teammates call him) says this is the final match with Lance Storm and whoever wins tonight wins the war. It’s not over until the Misfits say it’s over.

I kid you not: we get a GLACIER promo. Tony: “Oh no not again.” Madden: “What are we thinking doing that crap again? Then again we keep Disco around.”

Bam Bam Bigelow comes out and says he beats Mike Awesome by forfeit. Not quite though as here’s Ric Flair (Stevie doesn’t recognize the music but thinks Ric is going to fight) to say there’s a replacement. Ric: “We’ve got 10,000 people here to see you wrestle.” Shut up Ric. You’re drunk. At least we have a face boss for a bit though and it’s a nice idea.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Sgt. AWALL

Madden rants about how Bigelow should have won by forfeit but Stevie says this table can only take so much. It’s a brawl to start as the announcers debate why AWALL has a table out here when it’s not a hardcore match. Tony’s eventual answer is that “it’s his thing.” AWALL gets two off a middle rope clothesline but Bigelow spins out of a belly to back and lands on top to take over. The Greetings From Asbury Park is countered into a forearm to the chest and it’s table time. The chokeslam is countered as well and the Greetings put AWALL away, even though his head didn’t come close to the mat.

Rating: D-. Another match that could have been cut and added nothing. I like the idea of delivering on what was promised here but good night they could have done anything else but this and no one would have noticed. At least they kept this short, but again how many people are there that could have played AWALL’s part and gotten a win out of it? Bad match too, as you would expect here.

Post match Bigelow collapses and it’s treated as a big serious moment.

After that, Bagwell laughs off Jarrett not having a guitar to use tonight.

Bigelow is stretchered out as this is still treated as a big deal.

We recap Lance Storm vs. General Rection which is mainly about Major Gunns changing sides and becoming Canadian by her own free will. Unfortunately people stopped caring months ago but the feud is FINALLY wrapping up here.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Rection is challenging and Storm has badly taped up ribs. Oh and remember when Storm and Bigelow were talking earlier in the night? It was a swerve so Bigelow can pop off the stretcher and jump Rection, which TOTALLY required the stretcher and Owen Hart voices and couldn’t have just been done in a backstage segment.

Storm starts fast as you would expect him to and goes after the knee which is wrapped around the post. Rection kicks him away but has to get to the ropes to avoid a Mapleleaf. Storm gets crotched against the post and Rection powerslams him but Gunns breaks up the moonsault. And never mind as Rection elbows Storm off the top and “hits” the moonsault to get the title back.

Rating: D. Yeah after all that build and storyline, this wasn’t even six and a half minutes. Cat vs. Douglas gets eight minutes and the US Title match, which actually had a long story to get us here, can’t even get six and a half. Another nothing match and another time that the midcard champion’s name is a sex pun.

Sanders tells Doug Dillinger to send security home for the night. Dillinger doesn’t seem impressed.

The announcers promise that the main events are still to come.

Ad for Starrcade in three weeks. Can you imagine Wrestlemania getting anything less than five weeks?

Jeff Jarrett vs. Buff Bagwell

Oddly enough Jeff Jarrett drops to the midcard as soon as Russo is gone. Jarrett doesn’t have a guitar here and it really is a strange sight. Buff shoves him away to start and it’s already time to pose. A swinging neckbreaker and some right hands set up a hiptoss to send Jeff outside but he gets in a low blow to get a breather.

Madden thinks it was just a twisted nipple. Jarrett gets in a few chair shots and again, disqualifications aren’t a thing in WCW 2000. Back in and Jeff stomps away as this is rapidly dying before our eyes. We hit the sleeper because that’s a Jeff Jarrett spot, as is him missing a running crotch attack and hitting the ropes. The Blockbuster misses though so Buff has to hit a tornado DDT for two instead.

The ref gets backdropped to the floor (of course) and here’s David Flair to DDT Jarrett onto the chair in retaliation from Monday. Since David sucks as a professional wrestler though, Jeff kicks out at two. Buff’s reverse layout DDT (think Christian) gets the same but Jeff has another guitar hidden under the ring. A big shot to the shoulder is enough to put Bagwell down for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s almost out of pity, which really isn’t the best sign for a match. This was Jarrett being uninteresting as only he can and Bagwell being the same guy he’s been for years now. I’m still not sure why these two are fighting in the first place and I doubt WCW has much of an idea either.

Again we immediately cut away to recap Nash/Page vs. the Thrillers. This isn’t a very complicated one: the Thrillers turned their back on Coach Nash and beat him down several times, which meant Nash needed help. For reasons that aren’t clear, this meant Page.

Tag Team Titles: Diamond Dallas Page/Kevin Nash vs. Perfect Event

Perfect Event is defending and Sanders comes out for commentary. As you might expect, the Thrillers come out as the security guards for the match to get around Flair’s ruling. Or they could just be Disco Inferno. The fans want Hall but of course that’s not an option right now. Nash and Palumbo get things going though I never heard an opening bell.

After a quick break on the floor, Palumbo comes back in for some hard (open hand) punches, earning himself entry into the People Kevin Nash Has Done The Same Stuff To In The Corner Club. Snake Eyes drops Palumbo and Nash gives Stasiak a left hand (that’s a new one) to put him on the floor. The Thrillers try to come in and are dispatched just as quickly but here are Flair and the real security to get rid of them.

Apparently Sanders has a manager’s license (which says “Official Manager”) which allows him to stick around. Madden: “You’re like Jim Cornette but people still remember who you are.” We settle down to Page clotheslining Stasiak and Shawn being knocked back and forth between the challengers’ fists. A quick DDT gets two for Stasiak, followed by a double slingshot suplex for two from Palumbo.

Page avoids a charge in the corner and clotheslines Palumbo down but still can’t make the hot tag. A sunset flip causes Stasiak’s trunks to come down but Page is still kept in the wrong part of town. Palumbo’s top rope shoulder gets two on Page as this is already the second best match on the show, at least partially because of the time it’s getting. You can’t tell any kind of a story in five minutes while this one has already broken ten. Palumbo trips Page in the corner and a double wishbone keeps him in trouble.

Page powers out of a front facelock and makes the tag but of course the referee doesn’t see it. That’s one of those ideas that is always going to work. We hit the sleeper on Page for the belly to back counter and the tag to Nash which really wasn’t as hot as it should have been. House is quickly cleaned and Nash Jackknifes Stasiak for two with Sanders pulling the referee out. That earns Mike a Diamond Cutter as Nash covers Stasiak again for the titles.

Rating: C-. It’s not so much that the match was good (it was ok at best) but this was pretty easily the second best match on the card so far. Nash and Page may be old and no longer draws but they’re capable of having a watchable match. Unfortunately this is probably about it for the Thrillers as they gave the veterans their best shot and got beat in the middle of the ring. What’s left for them to really do? Again: they’re the original Nexus.

Lex Luger is ready for Goldberg because it’s the only thing he hasn’t done in wrestling.

Quick recap of Luger vs. Goldberg, which is all about adding a big win to Goldberg’s second Streak, even though Flair basically said the Streak means nothing anymore.

Lex Luger vs. Goldberg

At least it’s Luger again and not the Total Package while everyone called him Luger anyway. Madden tries to explain that only Russo can change the Streak thing, which makes sense in theory, but it stops making sense when you have Flair saying it can be overridden at basically a moment’s notice. Goldberg works on the arm to start and pops up after a belly to back suplex.

Lex slowly stomps Goldberg down in the corner but he’s right on his feet again for some knees to Luger’s chest. Luger’s running forearm puts Goldberg down and a big clothesline sends him over the top. Back in and Goldberg hits a quick powerslam before pounding away on the mat. The spear hits Luger and the referee but Goldberg Jackhammers Lex anyway, meaning a second referee comes in to count the pin.

Rating: D-. It says a lot when Goldberg is clearly the better worker in the match but Luger was horrible here. He wasn’t doing anything beyond forearms and knees to the back and that’s just not enough in 2000. Bad match here and in this case it’s because of that stupid Streak thing as Goldberg should be getting ready for the World Title instead of squashing an over the hill goon like Luger.

The cage is lowered while Goldberg’s music is still playing.

Quick recap of Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner, which is a rematch from Halloween Havoc where Steiner got disqualified for being too brutal.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending and this is a straitjacket Caged Heat (Cell) match because a regular cage match just wouldn’t be enough. In other words there’s a straitjacket in the corner of the cage and you can use it to tie your opponent up. Steiner attacks him at the door but Michael Buffer is professional enough to complete the introductions while the beating is on.

Booker fights him off and takes off the belt, only to get pounded down in the corner. A clothesline puts Booker on the floor and it’s time for the elbow into the pushups. The spinning belly to belly gets two but Booker gets in a few kicks for a breather. That comeback is quickly stopped by a clothesline, followed by a superplex for two. A bearhug gets Steiner as far as a bearhug is going to get him as Booker fights back and gets in the missile dropkick. It’s time to get the straitjacket but Booker doesn’t exactly tie Steiner up that well.

Instead he goes outside and gets a chair to blast Steiner in the head twice in a row. Steiner, whose arms were never tied, rips the jacket apart, rendering that aspect of the match completely worthless. There’s the Recliner but Booker counters with an electric chair into a stun gun. Booker gets in a quick Book End for two but Steiner is right back to his feet. The ax kick connects but Steiner gets in a chair shot, followed by a Bubba Bomb of all things. Steiner puts on the Recliner for the knockout and the title as Stevie is devastated.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. They made no secret of the fact that Steiner was winning the title here and it was probably long overdue. The match was watchable enough but the straitjacket thing really didn’t need to be there. It also didn’t help that Steiner actually set a new benchmark for worst Recliner ever as Booker was just on his knees with Steiner’s hands in front of his throat. That looked horrible and there’s no other way to describe it.

Steiner destroys Booker’s knee to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This isn’t as hard to sit through as the Russo shows but they’re far less interesting. The problem here is so much of this isn’t worth airing on a pay per view. You could probably cut off half the matches and air this as roughly an hour and a half show to greater results. Let’s see:

Hart vs. Mancow

Hardcore Title

Wright/Kronik vs. Filthy Animals

Cat vs. Douglas

Bigelow vs. AWALL

Jarrett vs. Bagwell

That’s half the card and how much of it would have been missed if it wasn’t around? WCW is going in circles at this point and it’s really getting tiresome. We’re three weeks away from Starrcade and I can’t even begin to imagine what we’re going to have to sit through there. Unfortunately it’s probably going to be Mayhem II, despite the show really not being good in the first place.

You can’t overlook that either: this show really isn’t all that good. You had a fun three way tag match that meant nothing and a decent Tag Team Title change which isn’t likely to mean anything either as those titles change hands so fast. Other than that the matches ranged anywhere from horrible to worthless, though at least this time there was nothing stupid enough to make me need to go on a long winded rant to calm my nerves.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #265
Date: November 6, 2000
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

It’s a new month for Nitro and hopefully things stay on the good path that Thunder put WCW on. The big story is Scott Steiner vs. Booker T. for the World Title in a few weeks at Mayhem but unfortunately we have a lot of TV left for them to screw up. We also have a new boss in Ric Flair, who wasn’t even on Thunder. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap focuses on Ric Flair returning and the Stasiak turn, followed by Steiner vs. Booker.

Earlier today, Midajah distracted an arriving Sting (head to toe in red) so Steiner could attack him. Buff Bagwell made the save.

The Thrillers talk about putting Jeff Jarrett in a tag match for no apparent reason.

Here’s Lex Luger, the hometown boy, to open things up. Instead of getting in the ring he goes over the announcers’ table and asks Mark Madden to stand up. Apparently Madden insulted Luger’s body last week despite being in horrible condition and having no business to talk about anyone. That’s about it, save for the other announcers ripping on Madden a little bit.

Luger gets inside and talks about all the big names that have been around this company over the years before getting to Goldberg. That Streak isn’t happening again because someone like Luger isn’t going to let that happen. They’ll be meeting at Mayhem and that Streak is already going to be history.

It also seems that Goldberg has been working on a book for eighteen months. Now after Luger got over the shock of finding out that he meant writing it, he was lucky enough to get his hands on a chapter. Lex calls up one of the writers from WCW Magazine, who says there’s nothing in the magazine about Luger himself. As you would expect, Luger beats the guy down and racks him. I get the idea here but Luger wasn’t exactly the best talker.

Goldberg arrives.

The guy from WCW Magazine was taken away on a stretcher.

Nash and the Thrillers look through Goldberg’s book before saying the Thrillers are now down a member. That makes them a better team though because Stasiak was making a bunch of crazy statements like wanting to be a World Champion. You know who should be a champion? Kevin Nash, who wants Booker tonight. Stasiak comes in and begs to be on the team again but is brushed off. He promises to be there for the team tonight.

Lance Storm vs. Kwee Wee

Before the match, Storm tells us to not vote because we all lose due to being Americans. Madden thinks Storm won’t want to fight Kwee Wee due to all the glitter. Tony almost calls Ric Flair the WWF CEO because he’d rather work for the other company too. Storm jumps Kwee Wee during the entrance as Paisley is on commentary. They get inside with Kwee Wee hitting a high cross body for two, followed by a tilt-a-whirl into a reverse sitout powerbomb for the same. A quick spinebuster sets up the Maple Leaf to make Kwee Wee tap.

Post match the Canadians keep the hold on so Paisley calls out Code Blue. This apparently means Meng who comes out for the save. Now wouldn’t Meng have been a more interesting option than Rection over and over?

Goldberg is ready for Bam Bam Bigelow tonight and isn’t worried about Luger either. Cue Luger to list off his resume but it’s a ruse for Bigelow to attack.

Now we get to another sad moment on the show as Tony brings up Battledome. What’s Battledome you ask? It’s an American Gladiators ripoff with WWF elements added including characters and storylines etc (along with Terry Crews as one of the Warriors). It was a pretty low budget show but I always had a good time with it, albeit partially because I was twelve years old. The idea of putting it together with wrestling was awesome at the time but looking back now it’s just sad.

Anyway Tony and company talk about how lame it is that the Battledome guys are to challenge WCW wrestlers to a fight. This led to a brawl on Battledome with Diamond Dallas Page and Cat with Page stealing their Warriors title belt (yeah they had a title belt) and spitting on it. This is actually worse than I remember.

Hardcore Title: Shawn Stasiak vs. Reno

Reno is defending and I suppose this is Stasiak’s punishment. Just like last week on Thunder, there’s no opponent for Stasiak though as we see Reno down in the back. Apparently Reno is still champion though because it wasn’t a pinfall or a submission.

Nash and the Thrillers look at Reno, who says more than one person was behind this.

Here’s Ric Flair with something to say. Flair sucks up to the Chicago crowd and says it’s time to change this company for the better. As for Mayhem, we’ll be seeing Rection vs. Storm for the US Title for the last time, along with Goldberg vs. Lex Luger. That only leaves Flair with the World Title and it doesn’t matter if it’s Scott Steiner or Booker T. because both of them will be walking into a cage at Mayhem. However, Steiner needs to behave himself better because it’s time to be a man around here.

Cue Steiner to get right in Flair’s face and grab him by the lapel. This brings out Booker to clean house in very short order. Steiner is taken out so Flair makes the cage match a straitjacket cage match, meaning a straitjacket is above the ring though you still win by pinfall or submission. Flair still isn’t done yet though and says if Steiner touches any non-wrestler, he’s out of this company.

Jimmy Hart has gotten some responses from various DJ’s for his fight. As soon as he says Howard Stern, it’s clear that this isn’t exactly on the up and up. Mancow comes in (Wearing a Creed shirt. Yeah there are going to be jokes but I was a fan.) because this is STILL a thing. A fight nearly breaks out with Mancow running his mouth until 3 Count comes in to beat him down.

Tag Team Titles: Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. 3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

Jindrak/O’Haire are defending against Moore/Helms and Yang/Hayashi respectfully. The challengers all brawl to start but the champs him the ring and start cleaning house. They stop to pose though and Hayashi slingshots in with a DDT while Yang comes off the top with a good looking headscissors. Now it’s Jindrak and O’Haire getting double teamed in a smart move from two teams that can’t stand each other.

Yang stops a comeback with a double poke to the eyes as the champs bail to the floor. They’re in good enough shape to catch the Dragons as they come over the top, including the beal from the floor on Yang. Helms gives Jindrak the Nightmare on Helms Street (Final Cut) but Evan Karagias runs in for the save. O’Haire comes off the top with the Seanton Bomb to give Jindrak the easy pin.

Rating: C+. This is easily the highlight of the week time after time and most of it is because they’re just letting the people do their thing. It’s very similar to what the cruiserweights did back in the day: have meaningless matches to pop the crowd before everyone else screws things up.

Post match the Battledome Warriors appear (off camera that is) to yell at Jindrak and O’Haire. At the same time the unmasked Jamie-San comes in and chairs the Dragons. Jamie and Evan stare each other down.

Diamond Dallas Page is back after several months away and Hudson is WAY too excited. Page talks about having a non-televised match about four months against WCW World Champion Booker T. It was that moment that he realized how negative a person he’d become. Then he heard the crowd popping louder than they have in a long time and it made him realize how happy he is with this job and this life. Now he’s back to have the time of his life thanks to a call from Flair.

Page says he’s back and does the usual celebrating but he stops to yell at the Battledome guys. He calls out some boys from the back so here are Buff Bagwell, Cat and Rick Steiner for a showdown. All of them talk trash and a brawl breaks out. This would lead to Steiner showing up on Battledome to compete in a game.

Stasiak says he had nothing to do with attacking Reno.

Buff Bagwell/Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner

Jeff and Buff get things going as the announcers get on Madden for suggesting that Steiner could kill a fan. Bagwell gets in a quick swinging neckbreaker and it’s off to Sting vs. Steiner. A belly to belly suplex sends Sting flying and the heels take over with Jeff coming in for a middle rope elbow. It’s already back to Steiner to crank on Sting’s arms as they’re certainly not going anything beyond average so far.

Jeff gets caught in a sunset flip with Buff adding in a right hand to knock him backwards, only to have Steiner take over again. A DDT on Scott allows the hot tag to Bagwell and everything breaks down. Sting and Jarrett fight to the floor as Buff gets in a Blockbuster on Steiner, only to eat a guitar shot. The Recliner puts Bagwell away.

Rating: D+. It’s your standard main event tag formula but of course the match was short and had a weapon spot because it’s not like this was something that could have gone through clean. Bagwell not being on this level didn’t do him any favors either but I’m really not sure why Sting and Jarrett are STILL fighting. Isn’t that story done yet?

US Title: Alex Wright vs. General Rection

Wright is challenging and Lance Storm is on commentary. Before the match, Wright speaks German and Disco gives a questionable translation though there’s no big punchline at the end. Rection takes him into the corner before catching a charge in a powerslam. The fans sound like they want to see Gunns’ puppies as Rection gets two off a legdrop. Madden: “Legdrop never wins anymore.”

Wright gets in a spinwheel kick to take over but it’s time for dancing. An impressive slam sets up a Vader bomb for two on the champ and a top rope stomp (might have been a botch) gets the same. Disco tries to get in a chair shot so here’s the MIA for the save. A splash in the corner sets up No Laughing Matter to retain Rection’s title.

Rating: D. Rection really isn’t very good. They’re trying something with the US Title push but there comes a point where that’s not going to get you far enough. Wright was a good challenger but at the end of the day, there’s only so much you can do with what you’re being given.

Jim Duggan says America sucks because it doesn’t work.

Booker will defend against Kevin Nash tonight but he’s also ready for Mayhem.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

We get the full Goldberg entrance and his right leg is heavily taped. Bigelow is right on him to start with an early splash as Madden thinks the taped leg might be injured. He’s not sure of course. Cue Luger as Goldberg is in trouble early on. A single right hand sends Bigelow flying across the ring but a Luger distraction lets Bam Bam get in a belly to back. There’s the top rope headbutt for two so Goldberg pops up for the two moves and the pin.

We come back from a break with Steiner ranting a lot before joining commentary for the main event.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Booker T.

Nash is challenging of course. Feeling out process to start with Nash getting the better of it off those big right hands to the head. They head outside for more punches before Booker gets in a chair shot to take over. Well that’s pretty heelish. Nash doesn’t bother selling it anyway though and kicks the champ in the face for two. Booker fights up again and gets the ax kick, only to have another kick hit the referee by mistake. Cue Shawn Stasiak with brass knuckles to knock Booker out but then he knocks Nash out too (duh), giving Booker the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. Just a bunch of punches and kicks before all the screwy stuff that makes sure they both look equally weak. Booker is turning into a lame duck champion in a hurry as he hasn’t looked strong in weeks. If you don’t want your champion to be strong, it’s probably time to find a new champion. Then again they haven’t exactly been going out of their way to hide what Steiner is getting at the pay per view.

Steiner grabs Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well it didn’t suck and that’s a step in the right direction for WCW. There isn’t much to say here as we’re coming up on Mayhem and the shows aren’t looking great but at least they’re coherent and seemingly going somewhere. It should probably be Goldberg vs. Steiner for the title at Starrcade (which is next month) but that stupid Streak thing is getting in their way. If only there was a way to change things in wrestling with almost no ramifications. Anyway, another not awful show here and that’s an improvement.

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