Thunder
Date: November 1, 2000
Location: Bren Events Center, Irvine, California
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone

We’re out of October and things are…..well they certainly exist. For a few more months at least. Scott Steiner is still insane and chasing Booker T.’s World Title but more importantly WCW has made it very clear that Mike Awesome, the athletic freak, has no future as a main event player. It’s a good thing they caught that problem before it became serious. Let’s get to it.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

There’s almost no way this can’t be good. It won’t mean anything but it should be entertaining at least. Shannon doesn’t seem to like Evan hogging the mic but this point is dropped as we see Leia from behind to make the announcers way too happy. They don’t even bother waiting on the dives this time with everyone going nuts to start.

Jamie-San accidentally takes out his partners though until things settle down to Shannon vs. Yang with the former dropping a nice backsplash. It’s off to Jamie who misses a springboard legdrop, allowing the tag to Evan. This is treated as a very sudden issue in the band because that’s how plot devices work in wrestling. Yang pokes Evan in the eyes before Jamie accidentally clotheslines his partner. A double flapjack puts Jamie down but Evan tags himself in to steal the pin.

Rating: C. I can always watch these guys do their high spots and the storyline breakup is fine, but stop hammering it in like this. Would it have killed you to set this up over the course of a few weeks? I know it would have cut into Jeff Jarrett calling people Slappy but it might have worked a little better than inventing it in one night.

As you might expect, after the match 3 Count throws Evan out and Leia ejects Jamie-San. Jamie’s mask is ripped off to reveal…..Jamie Noble, who isn’t a thing yet. Jamie and Evan look at each other, possibly setting up a third team. Why not at this point? It’s not like they’re doing anything else.

Nash and Palumbo say Stasiak couldn’t cut it, suggesting that he’s off the team. That’s not a bad idea actually.

Bam Bam Bigelow attacks Crowbar, who just happened to be standing there waiting while a camera was on him.

Elix Skipper vs. Lieutenant Loco

This is still fallout from the parody and has nothing to do with the Misfits getting back the US Title or Major Gunns. Loco starts fast with clotheslines and a dropkick because what else is a midcard cruiserweight supposed to do. A pumphandle suplex gets two on Skipper but the Matrix is enough to let him take Loco out to the floor.

We finally start flying around with Skipper hitting a corkscrew plancha, only to have Loco suplex him again inside. Gunns finally does something besides show off her shorts but gets caught trying a low blow. The distraction lets Skipper load up the ring which goes upside Loco’s head during a sunset flip to give Elix the easy pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s cool to see Chavo getting better and better every week. Skipper still doesn’t quite get the finer points but he’s more than athletic enough to make up for it. If nothing else though, I’ll take a heel beating a face instead of doing all the insane and screwy stuff we’re used to around here.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Shawn Stasiak

Nash is on commentary of course and talks about how this is going to settle all of the issues in the Thrillers. Actually there’s no match as we cut to the back and see Palumbo out cold. Nash is ticked but Stasiak claims innocence.

Post break, Palumbo gets checked out while the rest of the Thrillers promise to take out Stasiak tonight.

Bigelow says he’s back and wants Goldberg, only to have Crowbar attack him for earlier.

Video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow. First, did anyone want to see Goldberg vs. Bigelow again? Second, how convenient that they had this ready at a moment’s notice.

Mayhem video.

Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman

Konnan is on commentary. Kidman and Wright get things going with a pretty sweet technical sequence that you would expect from these two. A nice headscissors sends Wright down and it’s off to the partners. For some reason Rey only throws a couple of kicks before it’s back to Kidman who gets beaten down in the corner. The Knights work him over for a bit as Konnan babbles in what is supposed to be English.

Some knees to the back have Kidman in trouble and it’s time for a surfboard. As usual that only lasts a few seconds so it’s off to an abdominal stretch for some additional time. Kidman hiptosses out after Disco gets caught holding Wright’s hand and it’s off to Rey as things speed up. Everything breaks down and Disco gets crotched in the corner, setting up the Bronco Buster. The Kid Crusher puts Wright away.

Rating: C. As not great as the booking has been, WCW has actually been putting together a very nice tag division around this time. You have the Thrillers on top and Kronik as the monsters with teams like these two filling in the extra time. Now you even have the three teams from the opener and the thing is really stacking up. Factor in the Harris Twins disappearing again and everyone wins.

Crowbar wants to fight Bigelow tonight. I thought we had covered that already.

Sgt. AWALL vs. Lance Storm

Actually never mind as Storm has found a replacement.

Sgt. AWALL vs. Meng

Of course it’s a brawl to start with only AWALL selling anything. Meng pounds him into the corner but gets taken down with a clothesline. For once Tony freaking out over this offense makes sense. A low blow stops AWALL again and it’s already time for a table. AWALL pops back up and chokeslams Meng through it for a big upset.

Storm yells at Meng post match and gets the Tongan Death Grip.

Vampiro and Jeff Jarrett are ready for the main event.

This week’s big interview is with Shawn Stasiak of all people because WCW has no idea what these things are supposed to be about. The interview is listed as from yesterday, which is either Sunday or Tuesday depending on how much you’re expected to listen to the commentary. Stasiak gets right to the point by talking about how he didn’t train at the Power Plant (thanks for finally acknowledging that) and was always the outcast. Nash may be a great talent (he is) but Stasiak doesn’t like this stuff from Palumbo.

This week on Thunder, there’s going to be a big surprise, which may or may not have been the attack which may or may not have been Stasiak in the first place. Stasiak wants to be the first former Thriller to be the World Champion. Given that none of them have yet, this isn’t impossible actually. Ignore the fact that Stasiak isn’t a wrestler anymore and hasn’t been for fourteen years or so.

Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley

They better not screw this up. Storm can’t do his usual yelling so it’s National Anthem time. Storm starts with a full nelson for a nice series of reversals, capped off by the start of a Big Wiggle. Oh how I missed that one. Norman’s sunset flip sets off a pinfall reversal sequence before Storm gets in a hot shot to really take over. Storm starts in with his usual well done stuff, including a suplex and legsweep before having his leg lock broken up with ease. There’s something so cool about watching two guys who are this skilled on the mat trading holds.

Norman climbs the middle rope for a jumping back elbow and gets two off a rollup. That’s enough wrestling though because IT’S WIGGLE TIME. Storm gets two off a northern lights suplex and they hit the mat for even more fast counters. A piledriver doesn’t work as Smiley backdrops Storm off, only to get caught in the Maple Leaf for the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. I’m a sucker for this kind of stuff as they kept it moving fast enough to avoid being boring but showed off a lot of technical stuff at the same time. It would be nice if this was setting up a match against someone Storm could work off of but why do that when we can have Hugh G. Rection instead? Also can we get Smiley some more TV time? Would that be asking too much?

Meng has to come out and break up the Maple Leaf. This would mean more if he hadn’t gotten pinned in two minutes earlier tonight.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Crowbar

Bigelow drives him into the corner and blasts Crowbar with a hard clothesline. If there’s one thing Bigelow can do, it’s hit smaller people very hard. They head outside for dueling whips into the barricade with Crowbar actually getting the better of it. Something like a DDT gets two on Bigelow but he pops back up for Greetings From Asbury Park and the fast pin.

Booker isn’t happy with never pinning Scott Steiner so he’s willing to have another rematch at Mayhem with Steiner getting to pick the stipulation.

Jeff Jarrett/Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome/Sting

Jarrett doesn’t get why Ric Flair has been named CEO when he’s the only one with the stroke around here. Of course it’s a brawl to start with Awesome throwing Vampiro over with a belly to belly while the other two fight on the floor. The pairings switch places with Sting getting the better of Jarrett off some right hands in the corner. Unfortunately the announcers make sure to bring up the Halloween Havoc match for reasons I’ll never understand.

Jarrett backtracks up the aisle before sneaking back in for a cheap shot on Sting as a tag match breaks out amid the fighting. A double back elbow gets two on Sting and Vampiro kicks him in the face for two. The announcers bring up Sting flying off the video screen a few months back as it occurs to me that Nitro and Thunder are shot very differently.

On Thunder, the camera is mostly from ringside instead of the standard hard camera. It actually makes the shows feel different, aside from the fact that nothing happens on Thunder. Jarrett slaps on the required sleeper until Sting breaks free and makes the tag to Mike. Everything breaks down and Sting uses the ball bat to block a guitar shot. The Awesome Bomb is enough to pin Vampiro a few seconds later. STRIKE UP THAT 70s ELEVATOR MUSIC!

Rating: C+. This was about as good as a main event tag is going to get at this point and that’s really not saying much. After Sunday’s disaster it’s clear that they need to go somewhere new with all four guys but here we are again combining two feuds that aren’t interesting in the first place. At least the Awesome vs. Vampiro match was good but Sting vs. Jarrett needs to stop now.

Overall Rating: C+. Definitely a better show for the most part here as you can (in theory at least) see where they’re going for Mayhem. I’m not wild on a lot of the booking but that’s almost always the case with WCW. The important thing here is a lot of the action was good and a higher standard than what WCW had most of the time. Much like TNA today, when they cut out the nonsense and just wrestle, the shows are MUCH easier to sit through.

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Fall Brawl 2000
Date: September 17, 2000
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 8,638
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

This should be an interesting show as I can barely remember what’s going on with the card. However, I can remember that Vince Russo had a huge gimmick match built around him with a big SWERVE that no one (NO ONE) saw coming in a one off show. Other than that we have Kevin Nash defending against Booker T. in a cage, which certainly doesn’t feel like a step down after the big cage match about two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the double main event, as partially reenacted by action figures. Well that’s certainly different. I’m not sure it’s a good idea but it’s definitely a different one.

Cruiserweight Title: Kwee Wee vs. Elix Skipper

Kwee Wee is defending after winning a match a few weeks back, despite having no interaction with Skipper that I’ve seen in the ensuing shows. Skipper tries to dance with Gunns during the entrance as Hudson drools over her in the maple leaf top. Kwee Wee loads him up for a slam but drops Skipper face first instead in a unique move. An armbar has Skipper in trouble and a USA chant starts up. No wonder Buffalo sends the Bills to Toronto every once in awhile.

Back up and Skipper forearms Kwee Wee in the back of the head as we can see the ridiculous amount of glitter all over Gunns’ back. Skipper flips over Kwee Wee and gets two off a dragon suplex. Gunns plays cheerleader as Kwee Wee fights out of a chinlock, causing Madden to go on another tirade.

In one of the worst spots I’ve seen in a long time, Kwee Wee hits a cross body but Skipper stays on his feet and drops Kwee Wee out to the floor, only to get his balance and then fall out as well because he forgot to fall at the same time. Skipper makes up for it with a top rope Asai Moonsault which knocks out a cameraman for that always cool looking crash. Back in and Kwee Wee counters the Overdrive into a layout powerbomb for two of his own.

Cue the Thrillers, who really have no reason to be involved in this match. Skipper is thrown over the top and out to the floor with his knee crashing into the barricade. As the referee checks on him, Mike Sanders sneaks in and blasts Kwee Wee in the leg with a stick ball bat for no logical reason. Back in and a chop block sets up the Overdrive to retain Skipper’s title.

Rating: C. Illogical ending aside, this wasn’t the worst opener in the world. Kwee Wee is now a face just because, but someone with his charisma probably deserves to be in a higher spot on the card. Skipper is an athletic freak but there’s only so much of a character for him. Not much to see here though as the Cruiserweight Title has just died in recent months.

The announcers run down the card with Madden saying Goldberg vs. Steiner is going to go off like a prom dress. There is WAY too much emphasis on teenage sex in 2000 WCW.

3 Count vs. Misfits in Action

Cajun/Loco/A-Wall here. We get a little I Can’t Get You Out Of My Heart before the match, which I believe is a bonus. Hudson: “Helen Keller, big 3 Count fan.” Loco and Shannon get things going and this actually has potential. Loco chops him up against the ropes before grabbing a good looking wheelbarrow suplex. It’s off to Cajun for a flapjack on Karagias before it’s off to Wall, who presses Helms into a spinebuster (cool move) for two.

Karagias trips Cajun up though, allowing a fireman’s carry/neckbreaker combination to get two more as the heels take over. It’s Cajun as the face in peril with Shannon getting two off a Fameasser. A cross body/suplex gets the same and Evan drops a top rope elbow for another near fall. Shannon gets two off a top rope splash but misses another splash in the corner, allowing the hot tag off to Wall for some house cleaning.

Everything breaks down and Shannon takes Cajun out with a springboard flip dive. Karagias drops Loco and Cajun with a dive of his own but A-Wall breaks up a dive, only to get dropkicked through the table. Shane superkicks Evan by mistake and Shannon dives into a powerbomb for two. A double DDT gets two more on Loco but Wall makes the save, allowing Cajun to hit the Whiplash for the pin on Shane.

Rating: B. I know this really should be obvious but it’s amazing how much fun it is to watch a good wrestling match between talented guys. There’s no big angle here or some crazy story. Instead it’s just three heels and three heroes having a wrestling match and entertaining the fans. In other words, it’s the best thing this company has done in months. Just let the talented guys wrestle and it’s going to work.

Earlier today, Nash wouldn’t sign an autograph for a kid. Why this kid was backstage when the wrestlers arrived isn’t explained of course, but I’m thinking his parents should be punished for letting him see such a horror show.

There are more and more empty seats opposite the hard camera after every match. That’s sad to see. Understandable, but sad.

Harris Brothers vs. Kronik

It’s a chain match but Adams wants to make it first blood because Heaven forbid either team takes a fall. It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Adams working over Don inside. The guys are chained together here, which is probably better than watching them try to work a regular tag match. Everyone heads into the crowd as Tony asks how the referee is supposed to know who bleeds first. Well, he could watch on the big screen like most of the fans have to, but maybe he gets some special privilege because he works here.

Adams and Don come back to ringside with the latter going face first into the steps. Their partners are back a few seconds later, including Don screaming at some fans for some of the only heel action you’ll see around here. The referee gets bumped because A FIRST BLOOD CHAIN MATCH NEEDS A FREAKING REF BUMP.

Adams beats on Don (as the announcers change which Harris is with which Kronik guy, though it’s about as important as which Uso is which) and busts him open. Madden: “THAT’S GRAPE JUICE!” Hudson: “Did he get his period for Pete’s sake???” Ron gets the ball bat with a chain wrapped around it to bust Adams open as the referee wakes up, giving the Twins the win.

Rating: D. I’d like to emphasize that these four can’t even have a clean finish in a first blood chain match. Do you really need to protect one of the most dominant tag teams in years with two gimmicks in one match? It’s really that bad in WCW these days? Nothing to see here, but at least it was short.

Rection promises to win the title back for America today. This match is dedicated to Jim Duggan, who just happens to be here as guest enforcer. Just turn him heel already.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm

Storm is defending, Major Gunns is on the line as a bonus and Duggan is guest enforcer. Before the match, Storm says he’s so close yet so far from home. After tonight, everyone is welcome to join him in Ontario for Nitro tonight night. Duggan finally comes out and you can see the second shirt underneath his referee shirt so just get to the screwjob already so Tony can call it unthinkable.

Rection’s Samoan Drop gets no cover but Storm sends him into the corner for a breather. A nice superkick gets two for the champ and they head outside where Duggan mimes shooting Storm with the 2×4. Back in and Rection shrugs off the attacks on the knee before sending Storm flying off a German suplex. It’s time for No Laughing Matter but of course Duggan hits Rection with the board, setting up the Maple Leaf to retain the title.

Rating: D. Mike Tenay, Gene Okerlund, Miss Elizabeth and now Jim Duggan. In other words, take whatever characters have worked so well over the years and turn them all around because Vince Russo and company have decided that this is the way things really should go. Again, there was no shock here when you had Duggan as the guest enforcer for no logical reason and introduced him on Monday for the sake of this one match.

The Thrillers almost get in a fight with Gene (who did threaten to have “people” break O’Haire’s kneecaps) and promises to beat up something made of Cheese-Whiz.

Natural Born Thrillers vs. Filthy Animals/Paul Orndorff/Big Vito

It’s….uh….honestly I’m not sure who all is in this match. There are a bunch of people standing on the floor because the aprons are full. Konnan was too injured to wrestle on Thunder but he’s in the ring here while Stasiak is on the floor. Orndorff is a mystery partner to freak the Thrillers out in an idea that always works.

Jindrak slams Rey around to start as Hudson talks about Disqo costing the Animals the Tag Team Titles. I can’t think of a joke to cover up the fact that Thunder was non-title and the Animals have the title belts and were flashing them all over the place during the entrances. Hudson really is just that dumb. Juvy comes in and gets beaten down by Jindrak and O’Haire before it’s off to Disqo for the sake kind of beating. Konnan gets the tag and punches Sean a few times until O’Haire takes over again. We get some miscommunication from the Animals that leads to Disqo Stunning Konnan for the first elimination.

It’s off to Johnny the Bull vs. Disqo with Johnny jumping from the mat to the apron with no hands, only to miss a legdrop. Amazing athleticism but not the smartest guy. Disqo’s partners won’t tag in though, allowing Reno to Roll the Dice for the elimination. Vito comes in and Mafia Kicks Reno before hitting the Vito Special (spinning lifting DDT) for two on Palumbo.

We get back to Vito vs. Reno with the former grabbing the stick ball bat, only to get blasted with a kendo stick from the apron. Another Roll the Dice gets rid of Vito and we’re down to the full Thrillers vs. Orndorff/Juvy/Rey/Tygress. Ok so it was seven on seven? Tony: “It’s six on two! If you count Orndorff, six on three!” Well three Animals have been eliminated and the Animals are at full strength so the match started at six on six? Juvy and Reno are in now with the champ (yes Hudson, he’s still a champion) getting in a dropkick to take over. The Juvy Driver on Reno sets up the Nutcracker Sweet to get rid of Reno.

Jindrak/O’Haire get in to fight Rey/Juvy with the champs in trouble as Rey is sent outside. Juvy tries to dive on the Thrillers on the floor, only to get caught in midair and sent thrown back inside. The Seanton Bomb eliminates Juvy and the announcers say that Orndorff is left, despite Rey not being eliminated and Tygress getting on the apron. Orndorff finally comes in and cleans house until Johnny hits him in the back with the kendo stick. That goes nowhere though as Orndorff grabs the piledriver to get rid of Johnny.

Jindrak misses a charge in the corner and Orndorff drops Sean with a knee lift. Another piledriver plants Mark….and Orndorff isn’t moving. Sean gets a quick cover for the pin as we’ve clearly got an injury here. Tygress gives Jindrak a Bronco Buster as Orndorff hasn’t moved. Rey and Tygress beat up the Thrillers like the goons they are as Orndorff is at least moving his arms. The match is FINALLY thrown out because of Orndorff.

Rating: D+. The ending hut it a lot but at the same time I really had no idea who was in the match at any given time. The Thrillers cleaned house at times but it’s a bad sign when you forget who is still in the match and who isn’t. Orndorff was the highlight of the match as he knew how to get around the Thrillers because he trained them, even if the announcers never actually brought it up.

Orndorff is put in a neck brace as the show basically stops.

Kidman and Madusa call Torrie a lot of bad names and promise to send her and Shane flying off the scaffold. Madusa is WAY more fired up than she should be here.

Madusa/Kidman vs. Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas

The scaffold is on the stage and rises up to save some time. Shane runs his mouth to fill in some time before hand, only to remind us of his promise to refund everyone’s money if his team loses. The rules here are you have to crawl across and get down the other side to win. Not send your opponents flying as everyone talked about, but just crawl across and climb down. Thankfully the scaffold is significantly wider than most instances with probably five to six feet from side to side. Tony to Madden: “Get your jokes out now so I can hype this up a bit.”

Shane and Kidman argue over how high the scaffold goes as you might expect them to do. The women fight at one end and for some reason Madusa doesn’t just bunch Torrie in the face and climb down to win. Instead Madusa goes after Shane and tries to kick him over the middle, only to be pulled into the STF. Kidman makes the save but gets powerslammed, allowing the women to go to different ends of the scaffold. Shane hits the Franchiser as Madusa’s leg gets caught in the ladder. Well of course she does.

Shane goes over and kicks her in the head for the crash onto the VERY soft pad to end this mess. Wait that’s not it? So you still have to climb down? What happens if everyone falls off? Does the match continue until they get out of traction and climb up and down again? Torrie hits Kidman low and Shane throws him down through another crash pad We’re STILL not done as they have to climb down to win. What a stupid set of rules.

Rating: F. What more do you want me to say here? They gave away the ending and the whole thing was on a scaffold. At least they had a setup where the fans could see what was going on, but this was so stupid on almost every level. It’s a bad gimmick that has worked all of once ever (maybe) and now we have this mess, which comes ten minutes after a legitimate injury.

The “match” goes on for about a minute and a half extra as they climb down.

Jeff Jarrett, in a Buffalo Bills jersey to tick off the local crowd, jumps Sting from behind because he’s getting the title shot on Nitro.

And now, a segment with Mike Tenay going to David Flair’s house for an interview. Tenay says he’s all alone, minus the cameraman and probably a producer of course. David’s house is a disaster with pizza, beer and newspapers everywhere. Tenay brings up the father of the baby so David freaks out because it might be his eleven year old brother Reid. That goes nowhere so Tenay suggests Ric, only to have David freak out and attack his mailman. Thankfully there was a cameraman waiting by David’s mailbox to see David put him in the Figure Four. David then runs down the street.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta vs. Sting

PLEASE let this be the grand finale. The Clowns take over commentary for what should be hilarious. Vampiro and Sting fight in the aisle until the Grand Poobah comes out to attack Chickenwing (oh yeah they’re on fire tonight). They head into the crowd for a bit with the Clowns switching between Gray Tuna and talking about Sting’s spandex pants. Shaggy: “The Winger was trained by a speckled belly octopus.”.

They get back inside with Muta standing around and watching as Sting beats on Vampiro. Some spinning kicks from Muta set up a top rope clothesline from Vampiro as the announcers want to see the patented Pickle Pinch. The moonsault gets two on Sting but the Clowns have to break up a fight between Muta and Vampiro. Sting cleans house with a ball bat (Hudson: “That’s clown abuse”) and Death Drops Muta for the pin.

Rating: F. Other than the commentary, this was another disaster as this feud has gone nowhere but just continues for whatever reason. Sting has no character at this point other than “he’s Sting” and that’s nowhere near enough for an old veteran who is supposed to be some kind of a big prize for Vampiro to beat. This was Muta’s last TV match and I don’t think he’s going to be missed. That’s not a knock on him as his in ring work has been fine enough, but sweet goodness this story has been horrible.

Sting saves Muta from a post match beatdown.

Earlier tonight, Mike Awesome offered to make whoopee (his words) with Pamela. Awesome’s surprise for Jarrett tonight: Gary Coleman.

Mike Awesome vs. Jeff Jarrett

Bunkhouse Brawl, meaning hardcore. Jarrett yells at some of the Buffalo Bills on his way to the ring where the weapons are already set up. Jeff rants about the Bills losing to the Titans last year in the NFL playoffs, which took place about nine months before this show. Now we get on to Awesome, who Jeff guarantees a beating. Hudson: “NOT WITH GARY COLEMAN YOU’RE NOT!”

Thankfully Awesome comes out in regular gear but somehow doesn’t see the professional wrestler in a football jersey coming after him. Mike chokes him with a noose so Jeff beats on him with a broom. A chair duel goes badly for Jarrett and Awesome blasts him over the back a few times. Hudson talks about making Mike the Career Killing 70s Fat Chick Thriller to put all three gimmicks in one. Back in and the Super Awesome Bomb is countered with a backdrop through a table as this is getting more and more like ECW every day.

Awesome whips him into the barbed wire board twice in a row and a pop up sitout powerbomb gets two on Jarrett. Of course he pops right back up and taunts the Bills even more, drawing them over the barricade to get on the apron. The Bills get in a few shots and the Awesome Bomb gets two. The referee FINALLY gets the Bills off the apron so the fans can see, only to have Gary Coleman run in to break up a guitar shot with a low blow. That earns Coleman a guitar shot but now Sting runs in for a Death Drop to give Awesome the pin.

Rating: D. It took the Buffalo Bills, Gary Coleman and Sting to allow Awesome to get the pin. This is the definition of a match where the writers just threw together whatever nonsense they could come up with and had fun instead of trying to entertain people. The thing makes sense (if you have enough hard booze handy) but it’s WAY overdone to accomplish anything. At least Awesome won though.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg which started when Goldberg walked out on the match at New Blood Rising, only to have Steiner beat up Goldberg’s girlfriend. None of this was mentioned for the two weeks before the match because the story stopped mattering once the match was set up, as is so often the case around here.

Steiner shouts that he’ll win.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner

No DQ of course. Steiner puts on a black mask and stalls a bit at the bell. Back in and Goldberg scores with a flying shoulder, followed by a gorilla press into a powerslam for two. It’s time to start the heavy brawling as the announcers say this has been going for five minutes (we’re approaching two). Back in and Goldberg runs him over again but the banged up arm slows Goldberg down.

The spear mostly hits the buckle but he’s still able to catch Steiner diving off the top in a powerslam, complete with a pause where Goldberg pulls him out of the air before slamming him. Cue the returning Midajah with a pipe but Steiner is fine enough to tie Goldberg in the Tree of Woe for some chairs to the ribs. The bloody Goldberg is thrown down with a suplex as Hudson can’t remember what Goldberg did to put Midajah through a table. As in he can’t remember THE ONE MOVE that Goldberg uses to finish people.

The pipe is knocked away with a spear but here’s Russo to break up the Jackhammer with a baseball bat shot. Steiner slams Goldberg through a table and Russo celebrates like he did it himself. There’s the Recliner but Goldberg does the slow crawl to the ropes, even though there was almost no pull on the hold.

An electric chair really breaks the hold but Midajah and Russo hit Goldberg with their objects, setting up a belly to belly superplex from Steiner. Back to the Recliner and the thing looks SO bad with Steiner really just putting his hands on Goldberg’s chin and not touching the arms. That swinging neckbreaker puts Scott down but he hits Goldberg with the pipe and puts the Recliner on for the third time for the knockout.

Rating: B-. This was fun (horrible finishing move aside) and it kept Goldberg looking strong while also making Steiner look like the killer they needed him to be. It was all about two guys beating the heck out of each other for about thirteen minutes, though I really could have gone without Russo being in there to screw things up, though to be fair it’s his company and vanity project at this point so it’s understandable.

The villains celebrate and Russo takes his shirt off to really make it special.

We recap Booker vs. Nash, with the latter turning heel to steal the title, which he decided he wanted for a change. Russo rigged things and decided that HIS Kevin Nash was going to take the title. The evil plan actually worked and tonight it’s the rematch inside a cage.

Booker says he’s here for revenge because if you don’t start none, there won’t be none.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is defending inside a regular cage. Madden asks if it’s harder to win a title the first time or get it back. Hudson: “I’ve never held a World Championship.” Given that it’s Hudson, I take that to mean he’s won at least six of them. Booker goes after the arm to start without any real success as the announcers talk about switching from the big cage to the regular version. That’s really not something you hear very often. Nash clotheslines him down as we’re told that Orndorff has a stinger but he’s talking and has feeling in all limbs.

A turnbuckle gets ripped off but Booker slams him down to take over again. The Bookend is broken up though and Nash plants him with a chokeslam for a delayed two. Booker sends the champ face first into the exposed buckle to draw some blood, followed by the missile dropkick getting two more. A low blow puts Booker down and there’s the big boot to the face. The Jackknife is broken up and the Bookend gives Booker the title back.

Rating: D. This is the definition of “well that happened.” There was zero need for this to be in the cage as it didn’t change anything and felt like a dark match instead of something that you needed to see. Booker getting the title back is fine and the pin was clean so it’s much better than some insane fall that takes a million angles to achieve. Not a good match or anything close to one, but a good result.

Overall Rating: C-. The key to this show is simple: they’re slowing down on some things and not having a million angles in every match. The main event was clean, a lot of the midcard stuff was clean and most of the interference made sense. That’s the big difference here: you don’t want to have interference for the sake of interference because it takes away from the moments where it’s needed. Goldberg vs. Steiner for instance had interference that made sense and it was more effective as a result.

However, there’s still a lot wrong here. There are WAY too many gimmick matches or matches where the gimmicks take away from what’s going on otherwise. For instance, look at the elimination tag. Did you really need to have EVERYONE in there or could it have been cut down to say, four on four? The biggest thing that WCW can’t understand is that sometimes, less is more. It’s ok to have a wrestling match for the sake of having a wrestling match and to just let it go where it goes without five plot devices along the way.

Overall, this is the best pay per view they’ve done in a long time because they’re getting closer to having a balance between the insanity and an actual show. The show is still far from actually good, but at least they’re not making me spend an hour going on about how horrible the show was or how it broke the rules of wrestling. Somehow, that’s a major step forward for them, which is really sad to think about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: September 6, 2000
Location: Reed Arena, College Station, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

We’re getting closer to Fall Brawl and we’re now past the big waste of time known as WarGames 2000. In theory that means it’s time to crank up the storylines but who knows what that could mean around here. To be fair though Thunder was actually a really good show last week so maybe I have some hope here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

MI Smooth takes the Natural Born Thrillers to the Power Plant.

Kwee Wee vs. Lieutenant Loco

This has potential and is a #1 contenders match. Before they can get anything going, here are Elix Skipper and Major Gunns for commentary. Kwee Wee grabs a slam to start and stomps Chavo in the corner before throwing him down with a quick suplex. That’s fine with Chavo as he comes back with a quick brainbuster but can’t get the tornado DDT. They’re flying through this. Instead he shoves Kwee Wee away, only to get crotched by Paisley, allowing Kwee Wee to drop him with a hanging DDT for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. As usual, letting the wrestlers wrestle is the best idea they can have around here. Kwee Wee is still working hard in the ring but there’s no way around this stupid gimmick. I mean, what is he supposed to do with a gimmick that is destined to stay a goofy comedy guy instead of anything serious?

Post match the three women (Tygress as the third) get in a fight, only to have Skipper pull Gunns away before the MIA can save her.

The announcers talk about the history between Goldberg and Bret Hart. I don’t know if WCW knew that Hart wasn’t going to be able to get in the ring again but this is pretty close to false advertising by implying that this was leading to a match.

The sitdown interview is with David Flair and Miss Hancock before their wedding on Monday. It’s about time they built that thing up.

We go back to the Power Plant with the Thrillers returning to their old stomping grounds. They offer to give the guys in the ring some training but Mike Graham actually gets Sanders in a Figure Four. The beatdown is on and the Thrillers leave them laying. A guy cleaning the floor gets beaten up too and it’s time for the big showdown with Paul Orndorff. They let themselves into his office and Paul tries to throw them out to no avail. Orndorff asks what happened to them but the Thrillers beat him down as well. Security finally breaks it up but this did its job.

It’s time for the sitdown interview with David Flair and Miss Hancock. Tenay gets right to the point by asking if Ric will be there. Didn’t we cover that on Monday with Arn? David hasn’t talked to his family but they’re welcome to come if they like. Mike calls Hancock a gold digger (she was reaching into David’s pockets for something) before asking if David will be a better father than Ric. They argue over whether that’s personal or not (it kind of is Mike) and that’s it. Mike gives them six months at most. So Gene’s gimmick is that he’s a dirty old man and Tenay’s is that he’s just a jerk while doing interviews? How does this help anything?

Goldberg is looking for Hart.

Clip from before Nitro of the Harris Twins beating Kronik down in a bar.

Kronik vs. 3 Count

Well last week the Dragons were beaten down so I guess it’s 3 Count’s turn. The band calls out the big guys and the beating is quickly on. Helms gets in a quick superkick on Clark but Karagias eats the full nelson slam. Not that it matters as the Harris Twins appear, drawing Kronik up the ramp for a countout. After destroying 3 Count of course.

Post match Tank Abbott comes out and pummels 3 Count to make sure they get nothing out of this show.

Bret is here and has security guarding his locker room. Smart.

Crowbar says he’s ready for Troy Martin (Shane Douglas). Again I ask: how does this help anything? Yeah that’s his real name and how does that make me want to see their match any more?

It’s time to make things even worse as we have the debut of the Lava Lamp Lounge, as in Mike Awesome’s 70s themed talk show. Apparently he isn’t just into fat chicks anymore because there’s enough Vitamin A to go around. His guest tonight: Paula Pamshock (exactly as he said it).

As expected Awesome hits on her with some of the worst lines you’ve ever heard until Jeff Jarrett comes out for the interruption. Jarrett: “You look like a cross between John Travolta in Saturday Night Live and Austin Powers.” That might be worse than Paula Pamshock. It’s the big brawl with the set being destroyed but Okerlund runs out to save Pamela from the guitar shot, which takes Awesome out instead. Predictable but fine, save for the horrible screwing up lines.

Crowbar vs. Shane Douglas

Now remember: real names were used so this is a big deal. Before the match, Shane rips on Goldberg because that’s still supposed to be a thing. Crowbar has taped ribs so Shane goes after them before the bell, only to get punched and bitten in the corner. A baseball slide sends Shane to the floor and Crowbar, with the bad ribs, does his splash off the apron. Maybe it’s because he’s crazy?

Shane gets smart and sends Crowbar ribs first into the barricade a few times before throwing on an abdominal stretch back inside. The hold is broken as quickly as most other abdominal stretches are after 1958 and Crowbar starts whipping him with a belt. The northern lights suplex and Death Valley Driver get two each on Shane but Crowbar goes after Torrie (for interfering) and walks into the Franchiser for the pin.

Rating: D. This could have been good had Crowbar remembered he had bad ribs to start and if I didn’t have to listen to Shane doing his really weak heel stuff before the match. I’m really not sure what they’re going for with Shane at the moment as the feud with Kidman hasn’t been mentioned in a week, though I’m sure it’s supposed to be a big enough deal that we just go with it.

Post match Daffney comes out to brawl with Torrie. Ozzy (the boyfriend) comes out but gets beaten down by Shane. This brings out Madusa of all people to drop Shane with an enziguri.

Goldberg beats up the security guards and there’s no Bret inside.

Here’s Bret with something to say. He wants to know what happened to wrestling with people like Mike Awesome being wasted in stuff like that segment he was just in. Vince Russo has the stroke around here but everyone knows he’s the best in the world. Bret has beaten everyone in the WWF and now he’s beaten everyone here too, including Goldberg. The only person that ever gave him a chance was Vince Russo, who gave him title shots the second he got here.

We see the Bret Killer Kick from Starrcade, which cost him millions of dollars. “I couldn’t even buy that ranch I wanted.” Goldberg claims to be some kind of animal activist but he treated Bret worse than any animal. Cue Goldberg to say if this was the normal version of him, he’d have already taken Bret’s head off. Believe it or not, he has some remorse. There are times where he wishes it was him that got his head kicked off. Bret wishes that every day because all Goldberg cares about is his merchandise being on the shelf.

Goldberg says he was doing his job but every night he has to wonder. When Goldberg was growing up, Bret was one of the people he looked up to. Goldberg is 34 here so the timing doesn’t work here, but he tries to leave because Bret isn’t worth it anymore. Bret says Goldberg isn’t the real thing and that’s enough to get him back in the ring. Cue Scott Steiner with a pipe to lay Goldberg out and put him in the Recliner.

WCW Motorsports, with Vampiro completely out of character.

Steiner leaves the building.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Harris Brothers

The Brothers are challenging while Konnan/Disqo do commentary. Juvy starts fast with a springboard dropkick to we’ll say Ron before it’s off to Don for some no selling and power beating. A sideslam gets two and it’s already Juvy in trouble. It’s back to Ron (like it matters) who gets kicked in the face and taken down by a springboard bulldog.

Rey finally gets the tag as everything breaks down, including Tygress coming in for a Bronco Buster. Juvy gets kicked low but here’s Kronik because we didn’t have enough interference yet. Kronik lays out Disqo for no apparent reason before Clark throws Rey at one of the Brothers for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. I’d still love to hear the pitch meeting where the Harris Brothers got jobs for so long. Was there really any good reason to go with the other than they’re big and look alike? I’m really not sure what the appeal is of them looking alike as they wrestle the same style anyway. At least with a team like the Usos you get something entertaining more often than not. The Harris Brothers are just big generic power guys who happen to be identical. That warrants employment for some reason.

Video on WarGames, which means the whole show.

After the show, Booker and his friends/family promised to get the title back at Fall Brawl. Cool moment, which is why it wasn’t on Nitro but Russo got to talk about 18 times.

Video on Sting vs. Vampiro, which is continuing for whatever reason.

Sting vs. Vampiro

Anything goes and we’re getting the Clowns on commentary to make this show so much better. The Clowns introduce themselves and offer “Tony Zimbabwe” three dollars to shill for JCW. This is also NOT for the JCW Title because Sting hasn’t beaten Mad Man Pondo. They head outside to start with Vampiro sending him into the barricade before taking it into the crowd.

We get the usual punching and walking until Sting takes it back to ringside for a whip into the barricade of his own. Sting goes face first into the announcers’ table so J can get in a right hand to the head. The Iranian Judo Attack (a clothesline) puts Sting down but he pops up and sends the Clowns running away. A lame chair to the head drops Vampiro and they head back inside as the Clowns freak out that Tony has lost his coloring book.

Vampiro comes back with chops but we might have some stolen food stamps. The Olive Loaf Chop staggers Sting but he slams Vampiro off the top for a comeback. Vampiro starts in on the leg (with the Saline Sam Coconut Crunch Lock) before kicking Sting in the face. There’s the Stinger Splash but but Shaggy throws the JCW Title at Sting’s leg. Not that it matters as the Death Drop knocks Vampiro silly for the pin. However, JCW rules say the loser wins and $5 of your ticket cost will go into Violent J’s pockets.

Rating: D+. The commentary was absolutely hilarious and the wrestling was really just there as a backdrop. The Clowns may not be the best wrestlers in the world (or really even close) but at leas they’re good for something around here. I really wish we could get past this Sting vs. Vampiro nonsense, but what in the world could they have for either guy next?

Post match Sting gets beaten down until Great Muta makes the save.

Goldberg is in the ring and calls out Bret Hart for a fight right here. Instead he gets Team Canada because they’re all the same right?

Team Canada vs. Goldberg

Goldberg yawns through the Canadian national anthem and the Canadians argue over who has to start. Storm throws Skipper at Goldberg and it’s a spear to the Cruiserweight Champion in about ten seconds. There goes Storm up the ramp but General Rection cuts him off. Back in and the spear into the Jackhammer ends Storm with ease. So much for the titles meaning anything around here.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a story heavy show but not in the stupid way that Nitro tends to go. I can live with a show that focuses on talking and setting up things for later, but it really doesn’t matter if the stories don’t have the chance to go anywhere when every Monday gets more and more insane. We’ve actually reached the point where Thunder is the bright spot in WCW and I’m not sure how to handle that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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New Blood Rising
Date: August 13, 2000
Location: Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 6,614
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

I’m really not sure what to say about this one. It’s borderline legendary in how horrible it is due to the levels of Russo pumped into it with one match in particular. I’ve seen this show a few times before and every time I watch it I can’t believe what I’m seeing. There’s no way around this so let’s get to it.

First and foremost: is there a reason this show is named after the New Blood when they haven’t been a thing in about a month at least?

As I load this up on the Network, I keep expecting some warning to pop up telling me it’s not worth it.

The opening video shows Jeff Jarrett breaking a bunch of guitars over various people. Then we cover the real main event of Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner in what is being teased as a shoot. As opposed to all the other matches which are worked shoots you see. This one is going to be a REAL shoot.

In an odd camera shot, we see the New Blood Rising logo in the corner of the arena but it’s quickly covered by pyro from one of the ring corners. Who shoots from there?

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This is a double ladder match for 3 Count’s recording contract as well as their gold record. Tank Abbott is with 3 Count and has a shirt with the nipple areas cut out for no apparent reason. So 3 Count wants the record because it’s theirs and the Dragons want the contract so 3 Count can never record again. I’m not even going to try to make sense out of this mess. Oh and you have to tag in a ladder match.

Jamie and Shane get things going but everyone realizes that this is a ladder match so they sprint up to the entrance to make this interesting. Shannon makes a quick save on Yang as Tony thinks he’s going for the gold record because the ladder is hung underneath it. Ignore the fact that the contract is on top of the record so he’s under both of them. Yang gets crotched on a ladder in the corner as the fans are way more quiet than they should be for a six man ladder match.

Shannon splashes Yang and covers for a second because no one understands the rules of this mess. Three straight splashes crush Yang against a ladder in the corner as Scott asks the stupid question of what label is on the contract. Yang gets up again, only to be down onto the top rope. This hasn’t been his night so far.

3 Count goes outside so Jamie can hit a huge dive for a good reaction. We get a second ladder so Shannon can pull Yang off with a sleeper drop. Shane neckbreakers Jamie off as well, leaving Evan to suplex Kaz down to put all six on the mat in a heap. Yang gets a ladder superkicked into his face but the Dragons come back with a pair of spinwheel kicks to get one of their only advantages.

Kaz charges into a powerslam on the ladder as Evan seems to have a bad ankle. Shannon does a springboard over the top to catapult the end of the ladder into Jamie and Shane’s faces. That always looks sick. Shannon is thrown back in and gets splashed by two Dragons, allowing Jamie to grab the gold record. Not that it matters as Tank knocks him out and steals it back, earning himself some homophobic chants.

Evan gets crushed between a ladder as Tony yells at Madden for not understanding the logic behind this match. Jamie powerbombs Shannon off the ladder but Tank shoves over both ladders to take out a member of each team. Evan climbs up and gets the contract for the win (I guess?).

Rating: B. Enjoy this one people because it’s the last good match you’re going to see for about two hours. These six guys would give the fans everything they could and then be asked to do it again week after week because WCW didn’t care about any of them. I know Russo’s mantra continued to be about pushing the young guys, but giving them the same matches over and over again without letting them get anywhere isn’t a push. Still though, fun stuff here, even if it was nothing compared to what Edge and Christian and company were doing at the time.

Tank leaves with the record and the contract.

The Filthy Animals want to referee the Tag Team Title match. As in four referees in an eight man match. On top of that, they want a shot tomorrow night. Rey promises to make sure Cat beats Great Muta as an incentive.

Great Muta vs. The Cat

Cat talks some trash and hits Muta in the head with the mic to get things going. Some kicks set up a dancing elbow (I love Rock but good night I wish the People’s Elbow wasn’t copied so much) but Muta grabs the arm as Hudson talks about the “legitimate heat” between these two. Tony goes on about how lame “the marquee says wrestling” line is as the fans want Bret. Cat fires off some strikes but is mesmerized by the power of Muta’s bald spot, allowing Muta to kick him back down.

Cue Tygress (fans: “WE WANT PUPPIES!”) as Cat kicks Muta out to the floor. Back in and they hit each other a few more times until Muta snaps off a dragon screw leg whip to take over. Muta misses the moonsault but sprays green mist at Cat. This isn’t a DQ for whatever reason, allowing Tygress to hit Muta with a chair for two. Instead Cat fires off a bunch of kicks for the pin.

Rating: D-. Standard Nitro match here (yeah a D- is pretty standard these days) with Cat showing why he should almost never be in the ring. He’s a great talker but that doesn’t mean he’s anything more than a guy who kicks a lot. Muta continues to look bored and I still don’t know why they brought him back in.

So we’re just under half an hour into the show and it’s been quite watchable to this point. That’s about to fall apart.

Buff Bagwell can’t find his mom.

Buff Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon

This is Judy Bagwell on a pole, which means Kanyon drives her in on a forklift. See because she’s a bit overweight. For reasons that I’ll never understand, Kanyon wanted Judy to be his Kimberly. Kanyon calls her a battleax a few times until Buff finally figures out that his mom is on a freaking forklift in the arena.

Buff runs out to throw Kanyon over the barricade to start the fight in the crowd. I’m assuming you win by pin here but I doubt Russo ever got past “so we put her on a forklift.” They get back to the ring for the opening bell and Kanyon grabs a middle rope Russian legsweep for two. Kanyon cuts off the turnbuckle pad because this doesn’t have enough going on yet.

Buff jumps into a sitout Alabama slam for two and we hit the chinlock. The Kanyon Cutter is broken up and Buff drops him forehead first onto the exposed buckle for two. Now the Kanyon Cutter connects for two…..and here’s David Arquette, who hits Buff with a hard hat for two. A double Blockbuster is enough for the pin on Kanyon, winning Judy back for Buff…..I think?

Rating: F. The match itself was watchable at times but they brought David Arquette back for a two minute cameo. This was like watching a movie with a gorilla in a top hat and tails standing in the corner doing nothing. Judy on the forklift was such a distraction and really didn’t change anything, making the match a combination of boring and WHAT AM I WATCHING. In other words, the Russo Special.

Arquette gets a Kanyon Cutter post match.

Lance Storm arrives with a police escort. You would expect Storm to arrive on time.

Goldberg isn’t here due to a motorcycle accident. And so it begins.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Perfect Event vs. Misfits in Action vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Kronik is defending, Rection and Cajun are representing the Misfits and the Filthy Animals (as in Mysterio/Disqo/Tygress/Juvy are ALL guest referees). Konnan sits in on commentary to give us a ridiculous thirteen people involved with one match. Before the match Disqo threatens everyone, saying he has the authority to have them wrestling polar bears in Nome, Alaska if they step out of line.

Palumbo and Adams start things off as Disqo is the in ring referee. Chuck is quickly sent to the floor so it’s off to Stasiak, who walks into a full nelson slam. Cajun vs. Jindrak now with Mark taking over via some technical stomping as the fans loudly chant…..something. O’Haire comes in to punch Clark, followed by a nice spinning kick to the head for two. A hard slam drops O’Haire but Disqo counts slow.

Rection comes in and gets a slow count as well as there are far too many empty seats opposite the hard camera. Tygress gives Rection a Bronco Buster but the General raises his boot to block Rey’s attempt. We get the Sting falling headbutt/low blow spot on Stasiak before it’s back to Cajun for the dancing punches. That means another slow count as the announcers have no idea whose side the Animals are on.

Rection comes in and starts cleaning house as everything breaks down. Palumbo’s great right hands stagger Rection and it’s off to a sleeper. Disqo checks the arm twice and slaps Rection in the face to wake him up. Palumbo superkicks Rection back down as the fans want Bret again. It’s off to Cajun who is quickly sent outside as everything breaks down again.

The Seanton bomb nails Clark but here’s the Dark Carnival to break up High Times to Palumbo. Clark gives Palumbo the Meltdown for the slowest two count yet so he yells at Disqo. High Times plants Palumbo again but here’s Lieutenant Loco to steal Disqo’s shirt and count the pin, thereby screwing over the Misfits in the process to keep the titles on Kronik.

Rating: D-. What in the world did I just watch? Instead of anything resembling a regular match, this was a bunch of quick segments with Disqo tying everything together (work with me here) until Chavo ran in for the completely illogical ending. I get the idea that Disqo wanted to give the Animals the easiest match possible tomorrow night but this was just WAY too much for what they were going for.

Jeff Jarrett accuses Pamela of wearing Okerlund out last night. He’s been looking for Booker all day long and the champ better have eyes in the back of his head.

Shane Douglas vs. Kidman

Strap match with wins via pinfall. Before the match, Shane says Kidman isn’t man enough to keep up with Torrie all night long (which is nothing like the story of X-Pac vs. Kane with X-Pac using the exact same line about Kane and Tori in a storyline that aired earlier in the year). Kidman ties up the legs to start and Shane is rather irritated. A legdrop gets one for Kidman as Madden goes over the benefits of having a shirt on here.

In one of the funniest and at the same time saddest moments of the show, the announcers try to make fat jokes about Torrie based on that video from Monday. How do you even keep a straight face on a line like that? Shane crotches him with the strap and chokes a bit, followed by the reverse Hennig neck snap (which is actually a cool move). Torrie gets in some choking of his own and it’s off to a knuckle lock of all things.

Since it’s just a knuckle lock, Kidman comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and the Low Down gets two. Kidman finally gets smart and takes Shane’s shirt off, meaning they can actually start using the strap for a change. Torrie accidentally hits Shane in the face with a shoe for a near fall, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge to Kidman for the same. A quick Kid Crusher (Killswitch) gives Kidman the pin.

Rating: D. Another match where there was no need for a gimmick because Russo doesn’t get how to actually run matches. Kidman getting the win was good but the Torrie factor is really starting to drag. The stuff where she used to be with Kidman was fine but I’m supposed to care that she used to be overweight? It doesn’t quite work when she’s a bombshell and one of the best looking women ever in wrestling.

Kidman spanks her with the strap so Shane hangs him in the corner, drawing Vito out for the save. Reno sneaks in from behind and gets beaten up by Vito as well.

Booker arrives and Jarrett attacks him by slamming Booker’s knee in the car door.

Miss Hancock vs. Major Gunns

Rip off the Camouflage and of course there’s mud. An early slap starts the catfight and Hancock does a Muta handspring elbow. Madden gets right to the point and says he wants to see these two lose their clothes. Gunns gets a jackknife cover for two in the ring because the rules are still all over the place. Hancock rips off the top to reveal more camouflage and I’m sure you get the idea here.

After a facebuster gives us the upskirt shot, Hancock loses the bottom half of her dress to reveal camouflage shorts. A cross body gets two for Hancock but she charges into a foot to the stomach. Hancock misses a cross body and goes to the floor holding her stomach. Oh here we go.

Gunns gets posted and Hancock rips off the shorts to reveal a swimsuit bottom. They head up the aisle with Hancock losing her top. Gunns gets sent into the mud and drags Hancock with her as Madden is calling himself daddy. Hancock gyrates a bit and goes down holding her stomach again, allowing Gunns to get an easy pin.

Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this one? The women looked good in their outfits but they’re horrible in the ring and the ending made it even worse. This stuff stopped being interesting a long time ago because EVERYTHING is an angle. You get numb to this stuff after a while and we passed that point nearly eight months ago with Russo.

David Flair dives into the mud to check on Hancock. To get this over with as quickly as we can: yes she was supposed to be pregnant and yes Russo was probably going to be revealed as the father because in Vince Russo’s WCW, he gets to sleep with Miss Hancock. Of course this is treated in the serious voices and made to be something real. Yes really real.

The Dark Carnival wants Demon to prove himself.

The announcers are all serious again and use Hancock’s real name to make sure this is as shooty as possible.

Sting vs. The Demon

Sting repels in from the ceiling and wins with the Death Drop in less than a minute, which included a brawl in the aisle.

Vampiro and Muta come in to beat down Sting. Kronik comes in for the save as Demon walks by the brawl. For no logical reason, Kronik offers to put the titles on the line tonight.

Booker’s knee is being worked on.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Storm, with a bit of a mouse under his eye, is defending and gets the big Goldberg entrance. You can see that Storm is really proud to be here as he talks about getting to wrestle in the greatest country in the world tonight. The extra security is due to his hatred in America and he’s worried about a terrorist attack in the back. It’s not his fault that he threatens the American illusion and he defeats another American hero tonight. As for this match, he’s using rule 32B of the Canadian rule book to appoint a special referee: Jacques Rougeau! As in the Mountie! And not Bret Hart!

After a full rendition of O Canada (which is a big deal here and “not a work” according to Tony), we’re ready to go with Madden in tears. Rougeau will be the outside referee as Awesome hammers away, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. They head outside and Awesome loads up a table, drawing the required ECW chants.

Storm drives him into the barricade for a break but Awesome snaps off a belly to belly back inside. Mike slips off the top to a lot of jeering but quiets the fans down with a wicked sitout Awesome bomb for the pin and the title. That was a VERY close pin and Rougeau says no, which actually seems fair in this case.

We’re not done yet though as Rougeau has the Canadian rule book, which says you need a FIVE count. I didn’t know King Kong Bundy was Canadian. Tony: “Did this happen when we were in Toronto last year?” Awesome slams him for three before grabbing a dragon sleeper of all things for the tap out. I think you know where we’re going here.

The book says a title match is pinfall only so the match continues. Mike throws him down with a release German suplex and a slingshot shoulder gets four. You can imagine how screwy this must be for everyone involved. The Awesome splash gets give to give Awesome the pin (and Storm’s third job in about eight minutes) but this is Texas Death rules (in Canada?) so after a pin, Storm has until ten to get to his feet.

Mike throws a table in but gets chaired in the back for four. In theory wouldn’t you want the five count so you can have another eight or nine seconds to get up? Both guys go up and something like a belly to belly superplex puts both of them through the table. Rougeau rules that the first person to their feet by ten (huh?) wins. Mike is almost up first so Rougeau punches him out at seven to keep the title on Storm.

Rating: C-. I actually didn’t hate this as you could clearly see the idea they were going for. Now it was stupid to have Rougeau as the referee (Heidi would have actually made more sense) and to have the champ job that many times in one night, but there was at least an idea here. The bigger problem here of course is that Awesome didn’t cheat so Storm keeps losing over and over, but the live crowd was going to eat it up anyway. It’s over thinking as always, though it’s nowhere near as bad as it could have been. The action itself worked too so this was actually easy to watch.

Oh and here’s Bret Hart after the match for the Canadian pride moment. You know, because BRET HART would totally go for something like this. I’ve always thought that’s why he didn’t do the referee job here. Can you imagine Bret standing for something this stupid?

Nash doesn’t buy Goldberg’s motorcycle story and says he’s going over Steiner and getting the title back.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival

Kronik is defending in case you didn’t see them enough earlier tonight. Tony brings up Canadian rules and Madden slips up by saying Vampiro is from Canada, making the whole thing even screwier. Clark shoulders Vampiro for two to start and a big powerbomb gets the same. Muta gets choked in the corner and it’s back to Vampiro to get powerslammed for two.

It’s off to Adams and the villains start in on the leg….which goes nowhere as it’s quickly back to Clark for the Meltdown. For some reason there’s no cover so Muta mists the referee by mistake. Vampiro breaks up High Times but the Harris Twins of all people return to give Clark an H Bomb, setting up the moonsault for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. Good grief I can’t stand Vampiro. Every time I see him in a match, cutting a promo or just being there in general I can’t stand him. Now he gets a title, though given how insane this division has been lately, I can’t imagine him holding onto it for that long. The worst part here is the Harris Twins vs. Kronik, which could set a new standard for horrible.

Booker says Jarrett will have to kill him to take the title. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. As usual, this is a feud that is totally fine and has told a completely acceptable story of the old champion getting annoyed as the new star. The knee injury is find for a plot point to advance the story as well. However, almost no one remembers this because of how ridiculous the rest of this show is, which is really a shame.

Quick recap of the triple threat match, which is designed to look like a SHOOT. Not a “shoot”, but a SHOOT. They’ve been arguing over who has to do the job (using that term) and it’s going over the heads of 99% of the audience who just wants to see people fight.

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg

The winner gets the title shot next month. No Goldberg to start due to the motorcycle accident. Tony tells us to pay extra attention to see if there’s anything out of the ordinary. Nash takes him outside to start and sends Steiner hard into the barricade. Here’s a taped up Goldberg about a minute in to go after Nash with a chair. With Nash down on the floor, Steiner clotheslines Goldberg and drops an elbow for two.

Goldberg comes back with a flying shoulder and the Bret Killer kick, drawing Nash up from the apron for a big staredown. Hudson tells stories about Starrcade 1988 (yes 1988) when Nash was on the booking committee and put himself over Goldberg. Steiner comes back in to save Goldberg and gets two off a belly to belly. Tony interprets Steiner yelling at the referee as him not being on the same page with everyone else.

Goldberg suplexes Steiner down but Nash clotheslines them both. A big boot drops Goldberg but the Jackknife is broken up. It looked like a simple counter but IT’S A SWERVE because it’s really him not following the script. Russo, in his MANLY sleeveless shirt, tells Goldberg to get back in but Goldberg walks to the back.

The announcers freak out that this is Goldberg not following the script, even though it looked like a pretty basic counter to the powerbomb. I love how we’re supposed to buy Kevin Nash and SCOTT STEINER as the professionals here. Tony: “What are they going to do now? Improvise?” This is just so bizarre to hear because it’s clear that they’re trying to sound like they’re shooting. There are shows where you can hear the raw audio and it sounds NOTHING like this, mainly because the announcers aren’t very good actors.

Midajah comes out as Steiner takes Snake Eyes. The referee goes down and Midajah hits Nash low to give Scott two. Nash fails at a DDT and goes after Midajah so Steiner grabs a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Nash kicks him in the face and the Jackknife is good for the pin. And that’s a shoot of course.

Rating: F. I can’t get mad at this. I’m trying and I just can’t do it. Stuff like the Hogan stuff last month and the Russo destroying Flair nonsense makes me angry but this was just……dumb. This felt like seeing a kid do something he wasn’t supposed to do and then listening to the ridiculous explanation that they come up with to try and get out of it. Instead of getting mad at them, it’s almost amusing to see them trying so hard to be clever and leaving so many holes in the story along the way.

I don’t think I have to explain why this was stupid and why it completely defeats the point of professional wrestling in the first place, but I really can’t get mad at it. Maybe it’s the shoot interviews that set it up or maybe I’ve just reached the point where Russo isn’t worth getting annoyed at anymore. It’s one thing to yell and rave about something stupid when it’s clearly for one person’s (namely Russo) benefit. Instead, this felt like Russo actually thought he had a good idea but he’s too stupid to realize how bad it was.

After sitting through the first two hours of this show, there are so many other things to get mad at. Like Judy Bagwell on a pole for instance. That felt much more cruel and low brow than this because it was all about Judy’s looks. The Hancock stuff is stupid because it’s not something I’m ever going to believe. This on the other hand felt like they were trying for something interesting and just failed, which is a lot harder to get mad about. It’s still stupid, but Judy Bagwell on a Pole is the far more infamous moment for a reason: that was lame and stupid whereas this was more a failure, which I can live with much easier.

Finally, this is a rare occasion where watching the TV leading up to it helps a lot. They basically said “yeah we’re going to do something stupid” for the last three weeks and then this is what we got. With the Hogan vs. Jarrett mess last month they treated it seriously and then did the stupid shoot. This time they basically advertised a screwy finish and you were watching to see how bad it was. On top of that, as lame as it was, you actually got a match. Steiner vs. Nash isn’t great but it’s better than “pin me, pay me.” It was a lame idea and didn’t work for most of the fans, but this could have been WAY worse.

Tony throws us to the recap video for the World Tag Team Title match, meaning Booker vs. Jarrett. I guess it’s the Andre the Giant coming out in him. We’ve covered this already: Booker won the title last month so Jeff is trying to get it back by injuring Booker’s knee in advance.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is challenging and Booker’s knee is in horrible shape coming in. Booker fights out of the corner to start and quickly takes it to the floor to send Jeff into the barricade. Back in and the champ crotches him against the post (Madden: “That’s a walk down Slapnuts Boulevard.”) but the missile dropkick hurts his knee again. You know you don’t have to ask Jeff to work on a limb twice so he wraps the knee around the post.

A chair shot crushes the knee even more and Booker gets caught in a half crab. That goes as far as a half crab is going to go so Booker grabs the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down and the knee is suddenly fine enough for an ax kick and Spinarooni. There goes the referee and Jeff blasts the knee with the guitar. Jeff grabs a bad looking Figure Four for WAY too long until Booker grabs the rope. The referee breaking the hold ticks Jeff off so we get a second ref bump.

Booker’s knee is fine again and they set up a table at ringside, only to have Booker do something like a Book End off the apron through said table. Jeff hits the new referee with a chair and then Strokes Booker onto the chair for two from a fresh ref. Booker tries a neckbreaker which turns into a Diamond Cutter (to be fair how often do you see a main event swinging neckbreaker?) onto the chair for two. The Book End retains the title.

Rating: C. This was fine, albeit overbooked. Booker vs. Jarrett is a good example of a pairing that really doesn’t need a lot of extras on the side and they would have been better just having a wrestling match. The ref bumps got annoying in a hurry but that’s the main event style of the time. Not a great match or anything, but it really needed to be something more simple.

The fans bail out immediately and pelt trash into the ring to end this mess.

Overall Rating: F+. I’ve heard this called one of the worst shows of all time, maybe even THE worst of all time and it just isn’t that bad. I wouldn’t even call it the worse show of the summer as Great American Bash offered NOTHING of value. This show had an entertaining opener and a totally fine main event which more than make this a better show than some of the others of this era.

Now that being said, this is another disaster on Russo’s watch because he can’t just leave well enough alone and let the show work. It’s not a good show but for the most part everything goes by fast enough (longest match is the main event at just under fifteen minutes) that it doesn’t really infuriate me. Stuff like the Judy Bagwell match and the Canadian Rules match (which at least got a really good reaction) are really more things you just roll your eyes at and move on to the next match.

The show is really bad, but its reputation is far worse than it actually is. At least with this one you have some entertaining matches and a feeling that they’re trying to do something positive instead of flipping the fans off and laughing at them for not getting behind the ideas. There are still WAY more problems here that need to be fixed and this show was horrible, but somehow it’s an improvement over some of the other stuff they’ve done this year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: July 26, 2000
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Mark Madden

The Russo style is back in full force, meaning it’s time for this show to fall through the floor all over again. We’re coming up on New Blood Rising and other than the main event, it’s hard to say what kind of nonsense is going to take place there. These shows are starting to make less and less sense every week but you have to expect that when a nitwit is on top. Let’s get to it.

The Cat is standing by his limo when the Jung Dragons attack, this time with a sledgehammer. Yang smashes the window by mistake and Smooth the limo driver freaks out. Cat gives him a 3-1 match later tonight.

3 Count vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio

Evan is out with a knee injury but before we get going, Tank wants a dance contest against Konnan and Disco. It’s just a ruse though and the fight is on quickly. Shannon gets two on Rey off a springboard cross body but here are the Jung Dragons to interfere. We settle down to Juvy…..possibly countering a German suplex. He was supposed to flip over and land on his feet but didn’t get all the way over, making it unclear if he got hurt or not.

Rey springboards in with a clothesline for two as Tony talks about Latino style being very hot in popular music. Shannon drops Rey with a sleeper drop for two but the Animals come back with something like What’s Up, only with a legdrop instead of a headbutt. Everything breaks down and a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination gets two on Rey, only to have Shannon take the Juvy Driver and 450 for the pin.

Rating: C+. So we have these two fun teams but we’re getting people like the Perfect Event in the title match. The Animals may be incredibly annoying but at the same time they can still go this well in the ring. On top of that, why are none of these guys going after the Cruiserweight Title? Why are we stuck with the nonsense we’ve had to see for all these months? We’ll go with “because WCW” and move on.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He doesn’t like Goldberg but after Monday he has to respect him. However, Goldberg needs to save the trauma (yes trauma) for his mama. These are his people here and he’ll die in this ring to defend his title. Cue Jeff Jarrett to say he wants a lights out, unsanctioned match against Booker tonight with the title NOT on the line to protect Cat’s pay per view main event. The fight is on and Tony says there’s no holding them back as security holds them back. So we have Goldberg, Scott Steiner and even Kevin Nash waiting to challenge Booker but we’re getting Jeff Jarrett? Really?

Post break Cat makes the match but threatens to beat up Booker and Jarrett if they don’t calm down.

Miss Hancock wants to arm wrestle Major Gunns tonight.

The Artist vs. Skip Over

That would be Elix Skipper and for reasons I’ve never been able to explain, I’ve always been a big fan. Artist superkicks him at the bell as Tenay calls Skip part of the new blood (not the New Blood of course). Over spin kicks Artist in the face and hits a nice looking missile dropkick. Artist grabs a northern lights suplex for two of his own, followed by an Angle Slam.

Since this is a meaningless match against a rookie, Artist needs a chair. Skip baseball slides it into his face but Artist pops right back up. Paisley tries to hand him the chair but Kwee Wee comes out to lure her away. So much for that idea. Back in the ring, the chair has disappeared and Over takes Artist down with a springboard spinwheel kick. The Overdrive (That ridiculous spinning Fameasser thing. I’m still not sure how that’s supposed to be a finishing move.) gives Over the upset.

Rating: D+. Fun little match here but as usual it’s bogged down by all the other stuff going on at the same time. The Paisley/Kwee Wee stuff needs to go somewhere already. Not that it’s been a long, drawn out story but more along the lines of the faster that happens, the faster we can get Artist off TV.

MIA is in the back and Gene looks at Major Gunns’ chest. See it’s funny because he’s old.

Judy Bagwell drags Buff Bagwell away by the ear so they can go find the Cat. I guess this is supposed to be funny too.

M.I. Smooth vs. Jung Dragons

As usual, Mark keeps saying “last night” to refer to Monday, as in two days earlier. During the entrances, Tony says Goldberg can’t make his scheduled appearance. Instead: Lance Storm and Mike Awesome. Oh I’m sure the fans are going to be thrilled. Like all three of them who show up. Smooth is in a shirt and tie and the Dragons stomp him down for three straight near falls. Jamie and Kaz are sent to the floor, leaving Smooth to powerslam and full nelson bomb Jamie for the pin.

So let’s stop for a second here and look at what we’re supposed to just accept here: Smooth, a non-wrestler (yes I know he was Ice Train but that’s never mentioned here) just happened to debut here, wore street clothes, had theme music, knew wrestling moves, and beat a team in a featured pay per view match completely clean in under two minutes.

We’re supposed to just go with this and then pay to see the Dragons, who are more guys who should be in the Cruiserweight Title hunt, at New Blood Rising. You can blame a lot of things for WCW going under, but this is the kind of thing that really should be near the top of the list. These things happened WAY too often around here and the fans are just supposed to go with them. At some point the fans are going to get tired of having their intelligence insulted and watch something else. WCW reached that point a long time ago and it’s a big reason why they’re not around today.

The Bagwells come into Cat’s office and Judy says she can be the solution to the ratings problem. Cat gives her the match she wants, whatever that is. Another reason this company is a mess right now: middle aged women coming in off the street and talking about ratings like they’re something people discuss in casual conversation. I write about wrestling for a living and I barely discuss ratings with my wrestling friends, let alone some random person I strike up a chat with at Wal-Mart. As usual, Russo and Ferrara or whoever is writing this show has no idea how normal people talk in real life and it sounds really awkward.

It’s time for arm wrestling and I’ll let you fill in most of the details here. Hancock is in a red shirt here and takes off the jacket for a change. David Flair is guest referee for the sake of comedy and makes sure to cheat to help Hancock win. Gunns freaks out so Hancock sprays hairspray in her face. There goes Gunns’ top but the Wall, now in MIA gear, comes out to chokeslam Flair. He talks to the blind Gunns and says “it’s me, it’s me” (that D-O-Double G?) to calm her down.

Kanyon says he needs to find a Kimberly. Judy is feeling the BANG tonight though.

The MIA rename the Wall as A-Wall (that’s actually kind of clever) and shave his head.

Muta and Vampiro have beaten down Kronik.

Great Muta/Vampiro vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

This is the result of Muta and Vampiro issuing an open challenge. O’Haire starts with Muta and takes him down with a dropkick off those long legs of his. Vampiro and Jindrak fight on the floor before coming in, which I guess counts as a double tag in this match. Jindrak kicks him in the face and brings Sean back in for a clothesline.

It’s already back to Jindrak so Muta comes in and kicks him a few times before officially coming in off the tag. The refereeing sucks around here. The heels pound away on Jindrak for a bit until he snaps off a powerslam and tags in Sean to clean house. Muta will have none of that and snaps off a dragon screw legwhip before twisting on the knee to make Sean tap. Too short to rate but it was energetic while it lasted.

Post match Demon comes out to help with the beatdown but Kronik makes the save and hurts people.

Judy puts Buff in a room and tells him to stay there. What in the world did Buff do to deserve this story?

Big Vito wants a rematch with Lance Storm.

Judy Bagwell vs. Kanyon

After Judy comes out to Buff’s pyro and Madden reminds us that she used to be a World Tag Team Champion (gah), Kanyon says he’s Diamond Cut her already. Tonight though, it’s going to be the Kanyon Cutter so Judy needs to leave before this gets bad. The match starts and it’s a bunch of shoving and slapping until Kanyon grabs her for the Kanyon Cutter. This brings out Buff, who is told to stay in the aisle or his mom gets hurt. Kanyon wants a match at New Blood Rising and if Judy wins, she’s Kanyon’s Kimberly. Buff agrees and the camera cuts away as Kanyon lays her out (thanks to TBS).

Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson talk about the G-rated tape from Monday.

Kidman has another tape.

Kanyon is driving away, gets out and Kanyon Cuts a guard, then leaves. Funniest thing on the show by about a mile so far.

Here are Torrie and Shane with Torrie being annoyed at Kidman for what he did on Monday. Torrie: “Do you know what kind of a position you put me in?” Shane says play the new tape and it’s the two of them sitting on a bed. Shane apologizes over and over again for “performance issues” and they storm out of the ring.

Storm says he’ll give Vito a Hardcore Title match with no weapons allowed.

Shane leaves to get some air when Kidman comes up to laugh at Torrie. This is of course stupid and Shane beats Kidman down.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito

Vito is challenging and jumps Storm during O Canada, sending Madden into hysterics again. The usual low level offense sends Storm outside and it’s a superkick and kind of fall away slam for two on the champ. A good looking top rope elbow gets two for Vito and the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Vito with a chair for two. Vito comes right back with a German suplex and clothesline but Storm calmly grabs the Maple Leaf for the submission to retain. Again too short to rate but Vito comes off as a guy who tries when he’s out there.

Awesome runs in and lays out Storm.

Just like last week with Nash, here’s a sitdown interview with Goldberg. First up is Hall blaming Goldberg for Scott Hall being gone but Goldberg really doesn’t care what Nash says. The Outsiders wanted Goldberg on their side because they knew he was going to be a big deal. Nash has no appreciation for the fans but Goldberg does everything he does for the fans. As a heel remember. Hudson: “For the last few months you’ve played the heel for World Championship Wrestling.” Goldberg says he hasn’t been comfortable with it because that’s not who he is.

Someone thought turning him heel was a good idea that might help the ratings but it’s totally against what Goldberg is. With his eyes bugging out but in the same voice, Goldberg wants to refute what Nash said last week. The last thing he thought he was going to do was be a wrestler because he wanted to be a pro football player. Now he has a chance to give back to the fans. He can shake a sick kid’s hand and give them a smile which is worth more than anything else he could get. Goldberg: “Nash is right. I don’t love this sport.”

Hudson calls the work with the kids paying his dues. Goldberg says Nash has “paid his dues” for fifteen years and he won’t ever be in the spot Goldberg reached in three years. Amen brother. Goldberg brings up Nash breaking the Streak two weeks after Nash got on the booking committee. Hudson brings up the three way at New Blood Rising and Goldberg says his immediate goal is to make Nash suffer for all the damage Nash has done to his career.

What Goldberg is doing right now is taking one for the team instead of what he wants to be doing. When a promoter is looking at a card, he doesn’t care about paying dues because it’s all about who is going to draw the most money. All it means is that he’s the right character and the right person to see this through. Hall and Nash didn’t pop the business like he and Hogan did. Hogan, Flair and Arn Anderson made this business what it is today. I love Arn but that’s more of a stretch than I can handle.

The only way Nash is winning in Vancouver is to put himself back on that booking committee because Goldberg is going to kill him. Nash saying he doesn’t care what the bookers say sounds like a challenge because Nash can’t run away on those old knees of his. Goldberg recommends ice and Advil because Nash is going to need them. That wraps things up with no mention of Booker T. and Monday’s match whatsoever.

…….WOW. Just like last week, this would have been one heck of a shoot interview. If this had been from RF Video or something like that, it would be really entertaining to listen to. The problem is THIS IS A MAJOR WRESTLING SHOW. Think back with me to CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb. Punk ranted about how Cena was just an act and how he was being held back, but it was all building to a wrestling match, not some scripted deal where they may or may not do what the bookers (more on that in a second) told them to do.

This brings us to the big problem that was there last week: how many fans knew what was going on? Serious question: how many fans watching this heard the word “booker” and thought they were talking about Booker T.? I know it sounds stupid today but is it really that much of a stretch?

This is more of Russo trying to make himself sound smart and thinking that EVERYONE is on Meltzer’s mailing list in July 2000 because he reads that stuff every five minutes. This probably went over the heads of 98% of fans and it’s really annoying to sit through these ten minute interviews to set up a match that is going to suck because Nash is involved and can barely do anything. But hey, they’re WORKING US and that’s what matters, even if no one but them cares.

Madden: “So no matter what the creative committee tells Nash, Goldberg and Steiner, they’re just going to do what they want?” Oh screw off WCW. Good grief man. Like I said: Punk vs. Cena came together in a wrestling match, not some thing where they were going off script. Mainly because THEY NEVER SAID THEY HAD A SCRIPT because that’s the stupidest thing you can do in a wrestling promotion.

Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Non-title and anything goes. Jeff has a Sting style trench coat on for no logical reason. Cat is on commentary and says he’s not Commissioner at this point, though he insists Madden call him Commissioner. This is billed as a Bunkhouse Brawl because we’re all cowboys who love to ride horses. They brawl into the crowd to start with Booker in control until Jeff hits him in the head with a shovel. Tony tries to call it but Cat cuts him off to announce Sting vs. Booker T. for the title on Monday.

Amazingly enough Booker isn’t dead after BEING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL so Jeff puts him in a wheelbarrow and rams him into the barricade. Back in and Booker chokes with a bullrope but Jeff hits him in the face with….something made of metal. A middle rope guitar shot misses (Tony: “This pales in comparison to being hit in the head with a shovel.” I actually stopped the video and shouted “WHAT???” at the screen when Tony said that. Ignoring that it’s a breakaway guitar, METAL IS A LOT HARDER THAN WOOD YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) but Jeff starts choking with the bullrope.

Cat stays on his ratings kick as Jeff chokes Booker with a rope for two arm drops. Booker fights up and hits the spinning forearm as Tony admits that Booker is a superhero. The ax kick and a Spinarooni connect but Jeff guitars the bad knee and puts on the Figure Four with Booker hanging over the apron. Booker passes out from the pain. Well in theory at least as he was still conscious and didn’t say he gave up but the referee stopped it anyway.

Rating: D. It’s not often in my life as a fan that I’m disgusted by how stupid something is but that’s what happened here. This was giving away what wasn’t going to be an interesting main event in the first place and having them use a bunch of weapons before we get the boring version in a few weeks. Oh and make sure the champion loses because that’s going to draw interest in the rematch.

I looked at Jeff after the match and my goodness the level of not caring went through the roof. He’s just so uninteresting in this role and unfortunately we’re stuck because Russo, the undisputed king of insanity and over the top booking, thinks the most generic heel in forever is worth pushing on top.

Overall Rating: F. Let me make this clear: there was good stuff on this show. The opener was fun and some of the Kanyon stuff was amusing. If you take those parts on their own, you would have had a pretty entertaining show and WCW would have come off looking a lot stronger than they did coming into this week. However, there was a lot of other stuff this week too.

I know I often talk about WCW acting like its fans are stupid. However, in this case, it felt worse than ever. This actually felt like they wanted me to be angry at them and walk off, never to watch again. Between the Goldberg shoot, a shovel to the head not putting someone down for more than twenty seconds, Kanyon suddenly wanting Judy Bagwell as his valet, everyone (and their mother in this case) talking about ratings and a man having performance issues, I felt like I was watching the kind of show that non-wrestling fans pretend all wrestling is to make fun of it.

That’s what Thunder and WCW as a whole have become: juvenile, unfunny people making fun of wrestling because they want to laugh instead of trying to take this seriously. This felt like a parody of a wrestling promotion but it still wasn’t funny. What is there on here that makes me want to come back? I’m not seeing it anywhere and I really don’t want to see where things go from here.

It’s not funny anymore and I don’t know why people would think it’s going to get any better from here on out. More than anything else, that makes me sad, because it feels like the people in charge are glad it’s going under because it makes them feel better about whatever is going on in their lives. This really is a case of people treating this place like a playground and not caring at all what happens to anyone as long as they get a good laugh at our expense. Enjoy what you’re getting WCW, because this is all on you.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: July 12, 2000
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It still feels weird to say that Booker T. is the World Champion but it’s a nice feeling to have. For once things feel fresh and with the addition of the newcomers in the tag division, there’s an actual youth movement going on around here. Now unfortunately there’s no reason to think this is going to last but at least we can enjoy it while it’s around. Let’s get to it.

On a side note, at some point around this time, Ed Ferrara took over Thunder’s booking. Therefore, Russo isn’t to blame in case this is awful, though Ferrara was Russo’s right hand man.

Opening sequence.

We open with the usual clips from Nitro.

Smooth gives Kanyon advice about something we aren’t privy to.

Apparently Scott Steiner beat up and injured Mike Tenay so it’s a two man booth tonight.

Here are Tank Abbott and 3 Count to say they’re going to dance and the Dragons aren’t going to do anything. That’s an official warning and you know what’s coming. Tank heads outside to dance and here are the Dragons for a surprise attack. Muta jumps Tank and we’ve got a match.

3 Count/Tank Abbott vs. Jung Dragons/Great Muta

Yang tries to pound on Tank but gets thrown across the ring. A wheelbarrow slam into a double facebuster has Yang in even more trouble but Muta makes a save and cleans house. Tank uses the circle to block the mist and the big right hand knocks Yang silly to give Evan the fast pin. So they bring Muta in for a two minute match where his team loses?

Kanyon gives Cat a copy of his book in an attempt to get Jarrett tonight. That’s fine with Cat as Jarrett’s original opponent, Buff Bagwell, is late. Cat gives him the match in exchange for an autograph.

The Perfect Event attacks the Misfits in the back. For reasons unclear, they hand Major Gunns their exercise bar and she hits Palumbo low. Stasiak laughs, so Gunns kicks him low for good measure. So they’re bad wrestlers and stupid?

Stevie Ray is joining commentary. This could be good.

The Demon vs. Major Stash

Stevie thinks Vampiro and Demon are bizarre and doesn’t get why they’re together. In other words, Stevie either doesn’t watch or doesn’t understand the stories either. Stash starts with a big boot but charges into a boot in the corner. You would think he would have learned something like that. Demon gets thrown off the middle rope but comes back with a wristlock. Yeah a wristlock from a guy named DEMON. Stash avoids a clothesline and hits a quick ax handle, only to walk into the Love Gun for another quick pin.

Post match Sting (right) appears and points the bat at Vampiro and Demon.

Kidman asks Lance Storm about being serious. Storm says he’s always serious and walks off. After Kidman leaves, Kanyon takes out a cameraman with a Kanyon Cutter.

David Flair tells Hancock that he’ll do anything for her. Hancock knows that already.

Kidman/Lance Storm vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

The Canadian national anthem plays so Kidman reads the paper and dances behind him. Lance finally catches on but doesn’t seem to mind as he and Kidman try stereo baseball slides to the floor. That goes as badly as Kidman’s dancing as Jindrak and O’Haire press them over the top and back inside. Kidman tags himself in for a Bodog to Jindrak so it’s off to Sean for some right hands. Everything breaks down and O’Haire superkicks Storm, leaving Jindrak to plant Kidman with a tilt-a-whirl slam. The Seanton Bomb gives Sean the pin, making me wonder why they got pinned by Morrus and Leroux a few weeks back.

Storm nails Kidman post match, I’m assuming to cement his heel turn.

Vampiro promises to rip off Sting’s ski mask. I’d like to see who is actually under there.

Vito talks about how awesome he is.

Hancock tells David to go win her some gold so he attacks Vito and it’s time for a title match.

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. David Flair

Vito is defending of course and David is in a suit minus the jacket. He pounds Vito into the arena with whatever he can find as this is one sided so far. Vito remembers that he’s fighting David Flair and takes over with right hands, only to get suplexed into the ring for no cover. Cue Hancock (with blue trim instead of white this time) as Vito comes back again with a suplex and top rope elbow. He stops to kiss Hancock though (perk of being a champion), followed by the safety cone to the crotch. The impaler DDT through the table retains Vito’s title.

Rating: D. I’m assuming these are supposed to be serious matches, which continues to prove that the people running WCW don’t understand how wrestling works. They’re certainly not funny matches but there’s nothing setting them aside that makes them entertaining. That black hole of charisma Steve Blackman is Hardcore Champion in the WWF right now and he’s a dozen times more interesting than this. Vito isn’t bad or anything but there’s nowhere to go with this division.

Jarrett tells Cat that if he’s not fighting his scheduled opponent, he’s not wrestling. Cat says oh yes you are.

Perfect Event was posing in the ring earlier today (as in before the fans were here) when Kanyon attacked another production guy. It’s still funny, but is this going anywhere anytime soon?

Perfect Event vs. General Rection/Corporal Cajun

Palumbo and Rection get things going with the General scoring off some splashes in the corner. Cajun comes in and gets beaten down due to reasons of not being very good. Things slow down with Stasiak doing one of his only moves (a slam) before stopping to pose. Palumbo’s top rope shoulder drops Cajun for two again as Stevie is being the voice of reason against all of Perfect Event’s stalling. A gorilla press doesn’t work though and the hot tag brings in Rection to clean most of the house until the Jungle Kick slows him down again.

Stasiak gets two off a sitout powerbomb and the fans are actually getting into this. It could be due to it being the longest match of the night, even though we’re not five minutes in yet. Cajun comes in for his dancing punches and a clothesline for two. Whiplash gets two more and everything breaks down. Rection hits his moonsault but Stasiak nails the referee with the exercise bar. He throws it off to Cajun though and the referee sees him holding it for the DQ. Yeah he said Rection had the match won but Cajun broke up the pin for no apparent reason. Egads this company is stupid at times.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t bad until the ridiculous ending. Rection and Cajun aren’t the best tag team in the world but then again this isn’t the best tag division in the world either. Palumbo is the most interesting out of all these people and he’s just ok at best. The ending hurts this even more though as it comes off again like someone doesn’t know how wrestling works.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. Booker talks about how great Jeff Jarrett is in the ring but he fails as a man. This title can be defended anywhere anytime and he’ll take on anyone that wants to come after it. As for Scott Steiner, save the drama for your mama. This brings out Rick Steiner to congratulate Booker but it’s a ruse (does it could if everyone knows it’s coming?) and Rick beats him down. Cue Stevie to get up from the table for the save but Rick beats him down, grabs the title and puts it on. Good night what a horrifying visual. Mike Awesome runs out and makes the save before handing the title back to Booker.

Daffney asks Crowbar if she looks fat in her gear. Crowbar says she’s pretty and clearly has a thing for her.

Shane Douglas assures Torrie that she won’t have to do anything in the mixed tag.

Cat tells Kidman that if he doesn’t interfere in the upcoming match, he can have Lance Storm later tonight.

Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas vs. Crowbar/Daffney

Before the match, Shane says Torrie isn’t a wrestler and has no business in this match. Torrie apologizes to everyone in the back but she LOVES being franchised. Crowbar quickly dropkicks Shane to the floor, leaving Daffney to go after Torrie. We get the catfight for all of ten seconds before it’s back to the guys. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Torrie who gets caught by Crowbar. Back to Daffney for some lame hair drags (read as Torrie rolls while Daffney touches her hair) and a jawbreaker to Shane.

Crowbar comes back in to beat on Shane even more, including a nice bite to the head. Shane avoids a moonsault and grabs a powerbomb, but just stops as he’s got Crowbar in the air. It looked closer to a jackknife but Shane stopped moving instead of letting him go. In other words, it looked awful. Shane loads up another and Crowbar lands on his feet (there’s your answer), only to walk into the Franchiser (landing on his feet instead of his knees) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Instead of a match, this was much more like a series of quick segments cobbled together. As usual, the women have little business being in a ring and it shows even worse each time. Daffney is a great character but not very good in the ring here and certainly not good enough to carry Torrie. Shane……I still don’t get it. Not at the actual wrestling at least.

Daffney takes a Franchiser (and takes it better) after the match.

Cat gives Awesome Rick Steiner tonight, even though Booker wanted the match.

Here’s a sitdown interview with Scott Steiner. He doesn’t want to talk about Bash at the Beach but Tenay keeps at it until Steiner says Nash isn’t his friend. What Scott did felt right at the time and he doesn’t care about Scott Hall’s family or the fans out there. Steiner goes on a rant about Booker getting the title and then about Tenay calling the Frankensteiner the hurricanrana. Scott doesn’t like Goldberg either and would have beaten him up if Goldberg was smart enough to get into the University of Michigan.

Tenay says Steiner has a lot of hatred bottled up and asks if it dates back to his childhood. That’s enough for Steiner and he chokes Tenay out. Tenay deserved that as he was flat out badgering Steiner here and trying to sound all tough. Then you bring up the guy’s childhood? You earned that beating.

The Dragons try to go after Cat again but this time he ducks and lets them hit each other. Kaz gets put in a fireman’s carry and spun around so he hits his partners. Funny but just like the Kanyon Cutters: is this going anywhere or is it another joke for Russo and Ferrara’s amusement?

Lance Storm vs. Kidman

Kidman jumps him in the aisle but gets caught in the corner with some dropkicks. Heenan: “You know a lot of people are talking about this Lance Storm.” Stevie: “I haven’t heard them.” Storm loads up a chair in the corner but gets small packaged for two instead. A hurricanrana staggers Storm but he backdrops Kidman out to the floor. Storm’s northern lights suplex gets two and a superplex gets the same. Kidman tries a rollup but gets kicked into the chair for his efforts. Like most of the schnooks in this company, Storm tries a powerbomb and eats a faceplant for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but really uninteresting as you had two guys doing moves to each other and then one guy won. Certainly not bad or anything but I never cared about what happened. Then again I’ll take not caring over wanting to jump off a bridge any day on this show.

On a side note, one of the people that could actually powerbomb Kidman was La Parka. I know he’s been gone for awhile, but that powerbomb got me thinking about the people who aren’t around at this point. You can really see the cost cutting coming into play as a lot of names who had been around for a long time have just disappeared.

Buff Bagwell and his mom Judy finally arrive. Buff leaves her in the car (dude come on) and here’s Kanyon to volunteer to show her around. You can see a look in his eye.

Back from a break and Judy is in a neck brace and being taken away in an ambulance. Oh I would have loved to see her take that move.

Rick Steiner vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome elbows him off the middle rope to start and there’s a BIG section of empty seats opposite the camera. As in like twenty of them. That’s just horrible. After a quick trip to the floor, Rick kicks him low (which the referee could clearly see) and shouts a lot. Steiner loads him onto his shoulder and rams him into the buckle, followed by a German suplex for two. Mike grabs an Alabama Slam for two and the camera reveals even more empty seats in the corner. A belly to belly superplex gets two for Rick and he yells at the referee a lot, allowing Mike to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Awesome was trying and Rick looked better than he had in a long time but he’s still a horrible excuse for a wrestler who can barely do anything without looking like he has no idea what he’s doing. I’m hoping Rick isn’t in for a full time return here as I was just getting over watching him help screw this company up last year.

Rick stays on him post match until Booker makes the save.

Positively Kanyon vs. Jeff Jarrett

Booker is on commentary and this is now the #1 contenders match all over again. Jeff gets an early two off a backslide and Kanyon gets the same off a small package. Kanyon is annoyed at the pace of the count (a very common complaint tonight) and has to settle for a top rope Fameasser. Jeff bails to the floor so Kanyon points at Booker, allowing Jarrett to get in a suplex on the outside. Both guys are whipped into a variety of metal objects with Kanyon getting the better of it.

The sitout Alabama slam gets two but the swinging book misses, allowing Jeff to DDT him onto the book (Heenan: “I’ve seen the book kill a lot of guys.”) for two. The referee won’t let Jeff use the guitar and a book shot gets two with Jeff going to the ropes for the break. Now it’s Jeff’s turn to go after Stevie and Booker, triggering a brawl. Bagwell comes out to attack Kanyon but security pulls him away, allowing the Stroke to put Kanyon away and send him to New Blood Rising (again).

Rating: C. As usual when you let talented guys have a match, it usually winds up being entertaining stuff. This was one of the better matches of the night (again due to having some time) and the ending made enough sense, but it’s still nothing that I’ve going to remember in a few minutes, which is another one of the major problems with this era.

Jeff and Booker yell at each other a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was a weird one with a lot of the Russo tropes coming out but at a much slower pace. That leaves you with a very odd show that isn’t really interesting but feels more like a collection of bad matches. I’d put this above the Russo shows due to more coherence…..and that’s about the end of its positives. Neither guy knows what they’re doing and it gets more and more clear every time I watch one of their shows. I’ll take Ferrara over Russo for now, but Terry Taylor and Kevin Sullivan are sounding a lot better every single day.

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Monday Nitro #247
Date: July 3, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Charleston, West Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

It’s the go home show for Bash at the Beach and I can’t imagine we’ll be seeing Hulk Hogan here tonight to set up the title match because that’s probably not in his contract. Other than that we might get Goldberg eating another contract and then finding a way to make it reappear. He’s like a magician you see. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s shows with almost every show getting a quick feature. Unfortunately this includes Vampiro but it also includes the Cat being all over the show.

Cat is on the phone and says he’s suspended Scott Steiner for a week. I believe this was the suspension over Scott not wanting to do a job on Thunder and being punished by being suspended with pay over the Fourth of July weekend. Mike Awesome comes in and isn’t happy about something.

Four ambulances are waiting outside.

Opening sequence.

Tank Abbott takes over DJ Ran’s booth (I love you Tank Abbott) and plays some 3 Count.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

Shane tries to cut a promo but Tank tells them to shut up and sing. Six man tag here and the Dragons start fast upon hitting the ring. Jamie accidentally splashes Kaz as Shane has hurt his arm and has to be looked at by a trainer. As he leaves, Tank comes down to take his place, making sure to stand next to Shannon on the apron. Evan punches Yang down so it’s off to Shannon, because why tag in the killer? It’s quickly back to Evan, who sends Yang into the post. Everyone tries dives but Yang gets left in the ring with Tank. Madden: “DO THE CRANE DANNY!” Tank knocks Yang out and Shannon gets the easy pin.

Rating: C. The match was barely a thing as it was almost all about establishing Tank as the semi-official fourth member of the team. Like I’ve said though, the Dragons and 3 Count would have a lot of good matches but they would never climb up the card or do anything significant against anyone else. That’s a major area where WCW failed and it was rarely more true than here.

Tank makes them dance, including the returning Helms.

Kevin Nash arrives. I have no idea why his clothes are already in his dressing room.

Cat has a proposition for the Dragons.

Goldberg arrives.

Mike Awesome powerbombs a backstage worker through a table.

Video on the Outsiders. Screw you WCW for hinting that Hall might be coming back when you knew he wasn’t. Goldberg finally comes into the truck and demands that the video gets pulled. Nash isn’t pleased.

Here’s Goldberg to a big pop with something to say. He’s sick and tired of hearing about the Outsiders because they’re some of the biggest pieces of garbage in wrestling. Goldberg has carried this company for the past two years and he’s sick of having to do it. This brings out Nash to say he doesn’t want to wait but security holds him back. Cat comes out and says go to a commercial. Madden: “WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY COMMERCIAL???”

During the break, the locker room had to hold Nash back and Awesome powerbombed a security guard. That would be the second man sent to the hospital tonight.

Cat calls Eric and says he’s going to keep them apart for the rest of the night.

Terry Funk tells Johnny the Bull that he has a real tough opponent tonight before hitting Johnny with a chair.

Terry Funk vs. Johnny the Bull

Madden: “Could the opponent be Terry Funk?” Funk knocks Bull into the arena with a chair and does the same thing in the ring. Johnny gets rammed into the announcers’ table but comes back with a chair shot of his own. They head into the crowd with Johnny piledriving Funk onto a chair.

Back to ringside with Funk bleeding a bit from the eye, only to have Bull springboard from the top to the floor into a legdrop onto the chair onto Funk’s face. Yeah believe it or not, that’s REALLY STUPID TO DO and Johnny would be out for two months with a broken tailbone. Back in and Bull small packages him for two (Madden: “The heck with that! Kill each other!”) and DDT on a chair is enough to pin Funk.

Rating: D. I’ll give the points for having Funk put over some young guys, but at the same time it seems that the young guy is stupid enough to try a springboard legdrop to the floor. This is going to derail the hardcore division but it’s not like it’s hard to set up something new for this waste of time. Bad match, but at least Funk put someone else over.

We see Dale Torborg and Asya rehearsing earlier today when an explosion went off and knocked Asya off the stage.

Torborg is going back to the hospital when a man in a robe gives him the Demon attire. It’s Vampiro of course but there’s another man behind him in a robe of his own.

Goldberg yells at Cat.

General Rection/Corporal Cajun vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

The winners get a title shot next Monday. Jindrak, in pants instead of his trunks, gets punched down by Cajun to start before it’s off to Rection vs. O’Haire (also in pants for some reason). Rection slams him off the top and brings the Corporal back in, only to have him take a double suplex.

Cajun grabs a quick small package for no count as the General has the referee for no apparent reason. Sounds like a plot point. It’s off to Rection for a bunch of clotheslines as everything breaks down. An electric chair on the General sets up a top rope splash from Sean for two. Not that it matters as Rection slams Jindrak down and nails the No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D+. Build a team up one week, have a nothing team beat them the next week. Such is life in WCW because they have to go against what could work best for them for the sake of pushing people like Lash Leroux and Hugh Morrus. The match was good enough but that’s the stupid booking that has WCW in the shape it’s in.

Post match the Perfect Event comes in for the big beatdown with the exercise bars. The rest of the Misfits run in for the save and everyone lays down for CPR from Gunns.

Nash tells Cat to make the match.

Awesome powerbombs another backstage guy. Is there a point to this anytime soon?

Cat is on the phone with Eric again and says he has an idea.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett with something to say. After declaring himself amazing, Jeff talks about how great Hogan is. He talks about his granddaddy paying a nickel to watch Hogan back in the day and wanting to be like Hulk growing up. Now it’s 2000 and Jarrett is going to be the one to put him out this Sunday at Bash at the Beach.

Jarrett brings out fat ladies dressed as vikings to Flight of the Valkyries (Hudson: “Or Kill the Wabbit to some of you out there.”). They praise Jarrett a bit and then sing some of the Goodbye song to keep this going. A guy from standards and practices comes out, only to eat a guitar shot. WAY too long for the point here, aside from it not being funny.

Cat comes out to announce a battle royal with Goldberg and Nash included. If they can survive, they can fight each other. “Or make whoopee, I don’t care.”

The third ambulance leaves.

Jarrett and Cat yell at each other a lot.

Shane Douglas vs. Booker T.

Kanyon jumps Booker in the aisle and now we’re ready to go. Shane starts fast with some quick neck snaps and they head outside where Kanyon does the Diamond Cutter sign. Back in and Booker gets in a running forearm for his first offense. A Kanyon distraction fails and gives Booker a rollup for two, followed by the Book End (not yet named) for the pin.

Rating: D. Short and not good enough to go anywhere but at least Booker is on a winning streak. Shane is fine in this role and Kanyon continues to be funny, but they need more than three minutes to actually make this work. Booker vs. Kanyon should be fun on Sunday, though does anyone remember why they’re fighting in the first place?

Kanyon lays out Booker post match until Page’s music plays. Tony freaks out and then realizes Kanyon has just stolen the song.

The Demon is back.

Cat puts a bunch of people in the battle royal and says their jobs are to hold Goldberg and Nash apart. Bonuses are promised.

We recap Vampiro vs. Torborg/Demon.

The Demon vs. Vampiro

Vampiro’s entrance is interrupted by the Road Report. These editing errors wouldn’t pass on a low level indy company. Vampiro kicks him down to start as the fans want Sting. In a stupid moment, Vampiro sends him into the ropes and ducks, looking at Demon the entire time as Demon kicks him in the face. Demon fights back and we’ve got an army of guys in hoods and Sting masks. They all point bats at Vampiro and the distraction lets Demon grab the Love Gun (cobra clutch slam) for the pin.

Post match the hooded guys surround Vampiro but the lights go out and Vampiro is gone. Did you expect anything less?

Smooth talks to the Filthy Animals.

Cat gives the same speech to the Misfits and some other guys. Johnny the Bull is here despite being sent to the hospital earlier. God bless pre tapes.

David tries to talk Daffney, who now has short, blue hair, out of fighting Hancock. Over his shoulder, Hancock is shown going to the ring in a wedding gown (which stops about a foot above her knees) and David can’t help but look. David opts to sing to Daffney instead.

In the ring, Hancock says she can’t decide what to wear under the wedding gown on Sunday. Maybe she’ll just wear nothing. Since she’ll be winning Sunday, she’ll just give us what we want now. Crowbar comes in to stop the dancing and we cut to David in the back. He claims a stomach ache and runs to the ring as Crowbar has Hancock in a chair. Crowbar pulls out clippers to take Hancock’s hair off. Madden: “SHAVE HER! SHAVE HER!”

David comes out for the save but Daffney catches him and hits David low. Of course she has a bottle of Pepto-Bismol too. A lame catfight starts and Hancock distracts Crowbar until David hits him with a chair. Daffney gets her cut off and David puts the clippers in Crowbar’s hands for Daffney to find. As usual, video doesn’t exist in the wrestling world.

During the break, Crowbar chased after Daffney but got laid out by Awesome and thrown in an ambulance.

Smooth brings Tygress in to see Cat. A proposition is made but Cat wants to keep his shoes on.

Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Lance Storm/Kidman

Before the match, Disco brings out Juvy and Rey dressed as Storm and Kidman for a special interview. They make the expected jokes until the real Storm and Kidman come out for the brawl to start the match. Kidman powerbombs Juvy to start and it’s off to Storm for a gorilla press. Rey makes the save with a dropkick and kicks Storm low. Lance comes right back with a suplex and makes the tag off to Kidman for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Storm powerbombs Rey, only to have Juvy faceplant Kidman on a chair for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’d love to see these guys get a regular tag match instead of having to fly through everything in four minutes because we need to see Mike Awesome powerbomb someone else or whatever STUPID Vampiro and Demon stuff is going on. As usual, WCW has too much going on to keep track of the entertaining stuff.

Cat is getting his clothes back on and missed what just happened.

Vampiro is all annoyed and wants Demon in a Graveyard Match, whatever that is.

Nash says Sunday is about Scott Hall but tonight is about Kevin. He’s ready for Goldberg.

We recap Awesome’s rampage.

Awesome comes to the ring and yells about not being a mullet in the same tone that Owen would say he wasn’t a nugget. Fans: “MULLET!” He wants Scott Steiner right now and demands a bell ring. A referee comes out to count to ten but Rick Steiner runs in and takes Mike out, promising that Scott will do the same on Sunday.

Cat gives the people in the battle royal a pep talk.

Battle Royal

Nash comes out and we cut to the back again where Cat tells the Misfits and Booker to stay out of this. Juvy and Rey come out first and this is looking like a gauntlet match. Nash eliminates both of them with ease and Konnan gets the same. Disco’s sleeper doesn’t work so here comes the Perfect Event to finally slow Nash down a bit.

Nash fights them off but doesn’t throw them out as Big Vito comes in with the stick. Now it’s Kanyon to make it 5-1 as the Misfits are still being held back. Booker shoves him away and the good guys come out, followed by Goldberg. House is cleaned in a hurry and Goldberg superkicks Nash. The Misfits grab Goldberg’s boot though, allowing Nash to kick him in the face for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. It’s another segment called a match where Nash AGAIN gets to run roughshod over half the roster because why else would you bring him out there? They’ve done a good job of building up Nash vs. Goldberg, but this has to lead to them having a match and that’s where the whole thing is going to fall apart.

Security holds them back to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Again one of the best shows in a long time, fat viking women aside. There are coherent stories here and that means more for WCW than anything else. Their key at the moment is attracting new viewers and the Russo shows weren’t doing it. You should be able to tell what’s going on within thirty seconds of turning on the show. The Russo shows needed about a month to make sense (assuming he hadn’t changed the story a dozen times in the first hour) whereas these are simple stories that you can figure out quick. Unfortunately that doesn’t make the stories good, but it’s a step up.

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Monday Nitro #246
Date: June 26, 2000
Location: Veterans Memorial Auditorium, Des Moines, Iowa
Attendance: 4,573
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

Russo is still gone over his latest backstage issue (something involving talent being moved around against his wishes), meaning we might be in for something watchable again tonight. We’re coming up on Bash at the Beach (where the watchableness ends) and the top matches of Hogan vs. Jarrett for the title and Nash vs. Goldberg for Hall’s contract (which was eaten one night and totally fine two nights later). Let’s get to it.

Quick recap of last week to open things up. Sign of the recent times: this made sense!

Cat is talking with his limo driver.

Here’s Cat to open things up, after walking past a fan flipping him off. Bash at the Beach is going to be a great show when Jarrett beats Hogan and Goldberg finally gets rid of Scott Hall. I agree, he’s been such a nuisance lately. As for tonight, there’s a four corners match for the World Title. Again, WHY DO THEY KEEP MAKING JARRETT DEFEND THE TITLE??? It doesn’t make sense! There will be two qualifying matches with Kevin Nash vs. Mike Awesome and Scott Steiner vs. Shane Douglas. The third challenger will be Goldberg who gets a bye.

This brings out…..Jim Duggan? He’s been sitting in the back long enough and now it’s time for him to stand up for the heroes around here. Duggan wants Goldberg tonight to beat some sense back into him and turn him into the man he used to be. The match is on and Duggan says that despite his health issues, Cat is going to have to explain why old Hacksaw is WCW World Champion. It’s cool to see Duggan back, but this would have been a way to give someone a rub by having them call out Goldberg.

Shane isn’t happy with his match tonight.

Kanyon is holding a book signing but no one has shown up. I’d have gone.

Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera

This is the start of one of the last eras in WCW as they FINALLY tried to infuse some new talent, albeit a year or two late. Before the match, Konnan talks about cranberries and Disco repeats what he can understand. Jindrak and O’Haire are both about 6’5 and throw Juvy around with ease. A half scoop/half gorilla press sends Juvy flying and a big clothesline drops him again.

Jindrak misses a splash and a Mysterio clothesline sends him into a sunset flip fro Juvy. What’s Up with a legdrop instead of a headbutt has Mark in even more trouble. Sean gets knocked off the apron but Jindrak ducks so Rey and Juvy dropkick each other. O’Haire comes in with a top rope double clothesline and a double suplex drops the Animals again. A tilt-a-whirl slam from Jindrak sets up a swanton bomb (later the Seanton Bomb) from O’Haire for the huge upset pin on Juvy.

Rating: C-. WHERE WAS THIS TWO YEARS AGO??? This is what’s so frustrating about WCW: they clearly know how to solve these problems and give a new team a good rub but they would rather all the young people fight each other while the old talent sits on their mountaintop. Jindrak and O’Haire weren’t the Dudleyz or the Hardyz but they were young, in good shape and won clean. That’s more than most young guys can say they’ve accomplished in years in WCW so they’re off to a good start.

Post match the Animals beat down the rookies until Lance Storm makes the save.

Cat tells the Animals to find Storm and bring him to the office.

Duggan’s wife can’t talk him out of the match.

Video on Big Vito.

Here’s Big Vito with two kendo sticks and an open challenge. No word on if this is for the title.

Big Vito vs. Jamie-San

Jamie gets beaten down with one of the sticks to start so Yang comes in to help. That earns him a beating as well so Kaz has to come in with a missile dropkick. The Dragons start triple teaming with kicks and Jamie adds a flapjack. A moonsault, missile dropkick and high cross body set up a triple guillotine legdrop to leave Vito laying. No referee so no match but was there a need to crush a champion like that?

Terry Funk offers Johnny the Bull a pep talk in the form of a chair to the back. A friendly chair to the back that is.

The Perfect Event goes into the production truck but Woody Woodpecker (guy from Thunder) leaves instead of dealing with them again.

Shane asks Big Smooth (the limo driver’s name) to get him out of here but Smooth has an idea.

The Filthy Animals play Scooby and the Gang to look for Storm.

Tank Abbott is watching in the back with the face of a thirteen year old girl. 3 Count comes to the ring to their new song, prompting Tank to dance all over the place. The music cuts off though and Tank is MAD. Woody comes up to say it was the Perfect Event (that’s VERY convenient timing) so Tank storms the production truck and drags them to the ring. Since he’s Tank Abbott, they’re defending the titles right now.

Tag Team Titles: Perfect Event vs. 3 Count

Karagias is the odd man out here. 3 Count starts fast with some dives over the top before Palumbo takes a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combo. Stasiak comes in with a cheap shot and the champs take over with a bunch of stomping in the corner, though it’s no Unicorn Stampede. A shoulder from Palumbo gets two on Helms and we get a lot more stomping.

Stasiak’s powerbomb is countered into a DDT and it’s off to Moore for some house cleaning. Shannon tries a high cross body but dives into a fall away slam from Palumbo. Heel miscommunication and Moore grabs a quick hurricanrana but there’s no referee. The exercise bar from Palumbo knocks Moore out and a double flapjack retains the titles.

Rating: D+. Well at least a young team won. With O’Haire and Jindrak debuting earlier, there’s actually something resembling a youth movement but at the same time, I have no reason to believe that these guys are going anywhere near the main event. I don’t know why I should think otherwise as it never happens around here, which is part of why this company is in the place it’s in. At least we’re getting something new though and I’ll take that over Bagwell and Douglas as champions all day.

Kronik comes out to clean house. As they leave, 3 Count wants to sing but Kronik chases them off. This brings out Tank to lay Adams out and it’s time for a dance party. Tank sucks in the ring but he’s way too entertaining in this role.

Juvy gets knocked out from behind. We can’t see who did it.

Duggan tells his wife that he’s ready and knows he can beat Goldberg.

Kanyon now has a line of people. His secret: free booze.

Video on Jim Duggan’s recovery from cancer and his return to the ring. That’s always cool to hear.

World Title Qualifying Match: Goldberg vs. Jim Duggan

The referee has to duck Duggan’s swinging flag. Before the match, Cat says there’s no interference and no 2×4 allowed. Again: that’s normal, not some special rule. Tony rips on Cat for making this a “level playing field”. That’s exactly what he’s doing Tony, you miserable schmuck.

Duggan hammers away to start and the fans are actually way into this until Goldberg takes him down with a clothesline. They head outside with Duggan going head first into the post, followed by a kidney shot. Duggan’s goofy eyes bug out as he escapes a chinlock and he hits a big slam, which is no sold because it’s just a slam. Spear and Jackhammer end Jim quick.

Rating: D-. This was an idea but they were smart to keep it short. Duggan is one of the old school goofy guys who can do whatever he want and still get cheered so having Goldberg out there beating him up is at least trying something. At the end of the day though, this heel turn is a disaster as the fans simply do not want to boo Goldberg, no matter what he does.

Goldberg hits him in the kidneys to try to get people booing, which works as well as anything else has.

A lot of people are freaked out over Duggan.

Duggan is loaded into an ambulance and Nash promises to stop Goldberg.

World Title Qualifying Match: Kevin Nash vs. Mike Awesome

Nash is so ticked off that he absorbs some punches and suplexes out of a headlock. Oh man he’s so mad that he’s trying to wrestle. I’ve heard of this kind of anger before but I’ve never actually seen it. Nash takes over in the corner and gets into his normal rhythm with knees and a crotch chop in the corner, followed by a framed elbow. Awesome comes back with some clotheslines and the Awesome splash for two, only to have the Awesome Bomb broken up. They head outside with Nash firing off more elbows until a low blow stops him cold. It’s chair time but Awesome gets it kicked into his face for a quick pin.

Rating: D. The anger stuff was good for all of fifteen seconds and then it was your standard Nash match. Remember when Awesome jumped to WCW like two months ago and this looked like it could have been a big feud for him? Well now he’s jobbing to Nash in three and a half minutes as we wait on his next ambulance match because that’s his thing now.

Konnan gets laid out too.

World Title Qualifying Match: Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell

Non-title of course. At least it’s not Luger vs. Bagwell. It’s a pose down to start so Steiner flips him off. Buff avoids a charge in the corner and grabs a quick neckbreaker. Tony says you have to stay out of the Recliner. Since it’s banned and would cause a DQ, wouldn’t you want to get caught in it? Steiner comes back with the Tree of Woe choke but Buff escapes the Recliner. It doesn’t seem that the referee knows the difference in the rules either. Most of the Blockbuster gets two but Steiner grabs a belly to belly for the pin. At least they didn’t go against continuity with the finish.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here for the shortened time but it’s still Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell. Maybe I’m just burned out on all the WCW nonsense over the last few months. Bagwell clearly didn’t have a chance but at least they didn’t go with anything overly stupid and long.

They shake hands post match and Steiner leaves, allowing Shane to come in for a cheap shot. Steiner runs back in for the save.

Jeff Jarrett doesn’t have much to say besides Slap Nuts.

Hancock leaves David’s dressing room and blows him a kiss. Daffney was watching.

Here’s Miss Hancock for her weekly dancing. This brings out Daffney for the catfight but she takes a shoe to the face. Hancock leaves as Daffney says she’s going to ruin Hancock’s life, starting at Bash at the Beach.

The Animals have a meeting to calm things down.

Booker comes up to the book signing and asks Kanyon to sign his brick. The beatdown is on with Kanyon going through a table. As CM Punk would later say: “Security around here sucks.”

Miss Hancock wants the match with Daffney to be an evening gown match. Pamela seems intrigued by this.

Here’s Disco Inferno with his own referee to call out Lance Storm. He doesn’t know if Storm is stupid or Canadian, but Storm can’t just run out here whenever he wants. Storm comes through the crowd and we’re off.

Lance Storm vs. Disco Inferno

A superkick drops Inferno and a great looking dropkick does the same. Storm goes up but gets crotched, allowing Disco to grab a running neckbreaker for two. They botch something and Storm misses a dropkick. Back up and a standing hurricanrana gets two and he easily blocks the Last Dance, setting up the half crab for the win. Too short to rate but Storm looked awesome.

The Filthy Animals come out to attack Storm but Kidman makes the save with a lead pipe. It’s implied that Kidman was the attacker earlier in the night.

Torborg goes into a dark room. I really don’t want to see what develops.

After a break, Vampiro attacks Torborg from behind but Torborg swings a shovel at him. Vampiro kicks him down and then into a coffin. He closes the lid but then opens it up to yell at Torborg some more. Someone comes up from behind and hits Vampiro before putting a Sting mask on him. You mean he’s not even going to be out until the next pay per view? And didn’t Vampiro have a master he was answering to?

Konnan wants to fight Storm and Kidman on Thunder. I don’t see this ending well.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Before Nash comes out we cut to the back to see Goldberg standing over Nash’s unconscious body. The bell rings with Jarrett attacking Steiner in the aisle until they get to the ring where Steiner takes over. Jeff gets tied in the Tree of Woe for a kick to the ribs and here’s Goldberg. Steiner takes a gorilla press into a powerslam but the spear hits post.

The champ has to pull the referee out at two. The fans FINALLY think Goldberg sucks as Steiner gets double teamed. An AA sets up a cross armbreaker from Goldberg with the referee finally remembering to ask if Steiner gives up. Cue Mike Awesome to steal the US Title from Midajah.

Steiner makes his comeback and beats both guys down until Awesome pulls him to the floor for a belt shot. Nash comes back and beats up Jarrett. Awesome takes a powerbomb and Nash keeps cleaning house because he’s Kevin Nash. Goldberg gets in a quick superkick to knock Nash silly though, allowing Jeff to get the pin to retain. It’s made clear that Goldberg didn’t care about the title.

Rating: D. That’s probably being nice too. They kept this one as short as they could and somehow only had three people in the ring for most of the match. It’s nice that they had a concept at the start of the show and actually paid it off though, which is such a huge upgrade over what I’ve been sitting through. Bad match of course because most of these guys are brawlers who rarely go more than five minutes but again: you could tell what was going on and that’s a big step up.

Goldberg pulls out Hall’s contract and destroys it (again) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Again: set up an idea, pay the idea off. These shows aren’t advancing anything as Hogan is still looming and as usual can’t be bothered to show up to build a match but they’re WAY better than having the usual insanity and Russo worship that we’ve seen for what feels like years now. I’ll take a run of the mill dull show over that maddening stuff for weeks on end but Bash at the Beach scares the heck out of me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Nitro #245
Date: June 19, 2000
Location: Metropark Arena, Billings, Montana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

Now after last week’s mess, I’ve been told that the next few shows aren’t as bad. I’m curious to know what that means. You could smear warm mayonnaise on yourself and bake in the sun before throwing coconuts at a pack of hyenas and put on a better show than Russo has done in the last few weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Thunder. After the show went off the air, Scott Steiner put Russo in the Recliner. Ah yes, he’ll take a beating as long as it’s off camera.

The New Blood arrives and Cat says Russo isn’t here because of his injuries. The sec….hang on. Rewind that a bit.

.no gnah….ces ehT. .seirujin sih fo esuaceb ereh t’nsi ossuR syas taC dna sevirra doolB weN ehT.

The New Blood arrives and Cat says Russo isn’t here because of his injuries. Excuse me for a second.

HALL-E-LUJAH! HALL-E-LUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!

Those people were right. This is instantly better.

Anyway Cat is told of a situation in the ring.

Horace Hogan is in the ring in a chair and holding a bat. Well…..technically it is better. Horace is here to defend his honor against a greedy man named Goldberg. Instead he gets Cat, who says Goldberg is too busy for Horace. He certainly should be. Cat, now officially the Commissioner, has a rule for the night: NO OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE. We’ve reached the point where people being banned from interfering for a night is considered something special. That alone sums up almost everything you need to know about WCW at this point.

If Steiner interferes tonight, he’s fined and suspended for thirty days. This brings out Nash, Steiner and Midajah, which Tony says is booking on the fly. Nash gets Horace vs. Goldberg made tonight but Steiner can’t find Bischoff (he changed the letters around a bit and said something the censors don’t bother cleaning up anymore). Since Eric isn’t here, Steiner will just beat up Cat instead.

Cat offers a shot at Jeff Jarrett and the World Title instead because Jeff Jarrett is the kind of guy you just throw out there and torture like that. Nash isn’t done yet though because he wants Scott Hall’s contract and is going to beat it out of Cat tonight. Horace shoves Cat towards Nash and Steiner and the match is made for later tonight, sending Cat bailing into the crowd.

The announcers talk about this breaking news.

Palumbo and Stasiak tell the production guys to play a tape. They leave the truck and get beaten down by Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott.

Jeff Jarrett and Mike Awesome come in to yell at the Cat over what he just did. Cat’s only consolation is to make Awesome the referee for the match.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

It just keeps getting better. Before the match, Shannon promises a new single this week on Thunder. I’m all tingly. The Dragons break up the song and Kaz starts with Shane, only to have Shannon come in to help with a double neckbreaker. Shane’s top rope sunset flip gets two and a big gutwrench suplex drops Kaz as well. I usually get annoyed at the token wrestling before they go nuts but this isn’t bad.

Kaz finally gets over for the tag to Yang who cleans house with the martial arts. He has to stop a swing at the referee though and now everything breaks down. Kaz and Yang go up for a double splash but Shannon crotches them both, leaving Jamie-San all alone for a quick assisted wheelbarrow slam and the pin by Shane.

Rating: C+. These teams just worked well together and there’s little more than needs to be said about them. Sometimes you fine a combination that gels with each other and that’s what WCW had here. The difference though is that when WWE found such a combination with Edge and Christian, the Hardyz and the Dudleyz, they treated them like stars and brought them up into the midcard and then even higher later on. These six guys will be in the same spots for months, popping the crowd and running in circles.

Post match Lance Storm (who had been main eventing an ECW pay per view about a month earlier) runs through the crowd and takes out 3 Count with superkicks and a good looking flip dive before running away through the crowd again. He would actually debut on Raw the same way, minus the flip dive.

David Flair is looking for Daffney. Why he doesn’t just sit next to the women’s locker room isn’t clear.

Horace says he’s never been more determined about anything in his life. Last week he was put through a table and tonight Goldberg can flex his muscles all he wants. You could hear a lot of Hulk in that voice.

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Johnny the Bull

Vito is defending and swings a kendo stick to start. Johnny gets stalked up the ramp as Vito still has the belt on. They slowly head backstage as Johnny has had no offense yet. Vito sends him through a table and hits him with a laptop, scaring a guy working backstage half to death. Johnny finally reverses a whip into some steel poles and breaks a mop handle over Vito’s back. They climb a scaffold and Vito hits his implant DDT through a table to win, I guess becoming the sole champion.

Rating: D. This was a squash with Vito being on offense for all but maybe thirty seconds. I liked the idea of the Mamalukes co-holding the belt for a bit but putting it on one of them and pushing him as a guy with skills in this style is a better plan. Vito is getting a push out of it and that’s more than most people can say.

Cat finds Scott Hall’s contract, which I guess he just carries everywhere he goes.

Johnny is helped up and Terry Funk shows up to say he wants to help him.

Rey Mysterio and the Artist beat up Chavo in the back until GI Bro makes the save.

Post break, Bro yells at the Misfits and refers to Rection as General.

Here’s Kanyon, doing every Page bit that he can including the Diamond Cutter sign and sitting in the corner. You have to read his new book two times two times two times and if you like it, you can give yourself a self high five (that’s a flashback for you). This brings GI Bro to the ring for a beatdown, sending Kanyon running. Bro takes off the fatigues to reveal…..plain white trunks. I’m assuming he’s Booker again, meaning I can call him Booker again in good conscience. I mean, I called him Booker otherwise but now I don’t have to feel guilty about it.

David finally finds Daffney and gets slapped in the face.

Horace Hogan vs. Goldberg

Before Goldberg comes to the ring, we cut to the back to see Nash and Steiner saying they might just come to the ring anyway. Horace kicks him in the face to start and he gets his head taken off with a clothesline, drawing the pop of the night so far. Some hard right hands knock Horace silly and they head outside. Goldberg hits the barricade by mistake and Horace pounds away with a chair……and can’t even knock him down. A big boot does the job back inside but it’s the spear and Jackhammer to end Horace in less than three minutes. If you watched this with no sound, you would have no idea Goldberg was the heel.

Goldberg keeps beating Horace up and even Madden has to acknowledge that the fans are cheering everything Goldberg does.

Nash and Steiner aren’t impressed.

The Cat vs. Kevin Nash

For Scott Hall’s contract, which is in a briefcase. So if Nash wins, does he own Hall? Like can he send Hall out to get him donuts and conditioner? Cat even calls Nash out again and is way too confide……pause for dancing…..nt going into this. Before Nash comes out, Cat goes outside and handcuffs the briefcase to Madden, keeping the key around his (Cat’s) neck. I don’t like Madden but he plays terrified really well. Tony: “Don’t worry. You’ll do good.” Madden: “I’LL DO GOOD??? IT’S NOT HANDCUFFED TO YOU YOU SIMPLETON!”

Nash easily pounds Cat down so Cat calls someone down. Cat tries to find any microphone he can to waive the outside interference rule. That makes me wonder: is there such a thing as inside interference? Like, if someone gets inside the ring, does it still count as outside interference? Or can someone in the match interfere? Cat comes back with some kicks so Nash hits him in the face and the Jackknife is good for the easy pin.

Nash opens the briefcase but finds pictures of the Cat. That’s not cool with Big Kev so he goes after Cat, only to be called off by Goldberg on screen. He has the contract and offers to put it up at Bash at the Beach. Goldberg then eats the contract. So there’s no outside (or inside) interference but we do have a bait and switch.

Post break, Nash says he’s the only person to beat Goldberg. Bash at the Beach happens to be his birthday and he has a place down on the beach. Scott Hall just happens to live 40 minutes from there. Nash leaves and Steiner says he could be the Chosen One.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Artist vs. Lieutenant Loco

Chavo is defending and Hudson gets in one of his only funny lines ever by dubbing Disco Inferno the Dim Shady. Konnan goes on about the Misfits not having a leader since GI Bro left them. Wait I thought Rection was the leader. Juvy is on commentary which I’ll take over Tygress and her OW OW stuff. The champ gets double teamed in the aisle to start and Rey gets two off a running legdrop.

Artist Batista Bombs Mysterio but Chavo comes in with a frog splash for two. Rey and Artist go outside as the three women are about to fight. Back in and Chavo gets crotched on top, leaving Rey to Bronco Bust Artist in the corner. Or did he Bust Artist’s Bronco? That’s a confusing name for a move. Rey goes to hurricanrana Chavo but gets crotched on the ropes, leaving Chavo to tornado DDT Artist and retain.

Post match Gunns, Paisley and Tygress almost get in a fight.

Daffney is having an interview but David comes up with flowers as a peace offering. He sings to her and that’s enough to get Daffney back.

Post break, David puts Daffney in the car and has to go get something. That something is Miss Hancock, but Daffney has gotten out and sees them kissing on a monitor.

Tag Team Titles: Perfect Event vs. Rick Steiner/Tank Abbott

Palumbo and Stasiak are defending and yes, Perfect Event is the best thing they could come up with. That’s up there next to Pretty Wonderful. Tank grabs a spinebuster on Stasiak to start and brings in Rick for some heavy stomping. A Steiner Line and belly to belly knock Stasiak senseless but he’s able to get a boot to the ribs and tags in Chuck. Rick does his belly to belly powerslam on Palumbo as Abbott is into the crowd chasing after a plant.

As Steiner gazes out into the people (“They actually PAID for this show?”), the champs jump him from behind and double team him for a few moments, only to have a double Steiner Line take over again. Rick steals the exercise bar from Palumbo and suplexes him again, only to have Chuck nail him with the bar to break up the bulldog. A double flapjack retains the titles.

Rating: D. So much for rebuilding the tag team division. Steiner and Abbott didn’t work because one is a maniac and a wrestler in name only who lives off his past glory and that doesn’t make a good partner for Tank Abbott. I’m sure this leads to a thrilling fight at one of the next TV shows (please not on pay per view) and then the Steiners reunite again because….wait didn’t they do that already on Thunder?

Asya throws the Demon costume at Dale Torborg and says to get rid of “him”. Vampiro is shown watching, very pleased with what’s going on.

Here’s Vampiro for his weekly Raven impression. He talks about the similarities he has with the Demon and asks him to come out for a going away party since Asya is ruining the fun. Torborg comes out instead with Asya next to him. Then the lights go out and Asya is gone. They go out again and Vampiro is gone. Vampiro pops up on screen, driving away in a hearse. So Vampiro wins the feud with Sting and his reward is the Demon? No wonder he has no good memories of WCW.

Chris Candido/Bam Bam Bigelow/Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell/Kronik

What’s ECW again? This is fallout from a brawl on Thunder where Kronik saved Bagwell from a beatdown. Before the match Shane says they want titles with Candido (whose arm is in a sling) and Bigelow want the Tag Team Titles. Shane issues a challenge for Bash at the Beach and Bagwell can pick whatever kind of match he wants. Tony: “You cannot get much more power than Bagwell, Adams and Clark on the same team.”

Clark and Douglas get things going with Douglas nailing a dropkick but getting slammed off the top rope. The release Rock Bottom plants Shane again and Adams adds a full nelson slam. Shane runs from Bagwell (I get the idea of running like that, but he’s cool with fighting Kronik?) and brings in Bigelow for the clubbing forearms. It’s quickly off to Shane for the stomping on a defenseless Bagwell as the fans continue their FRANCHISE SUCKS chant.

Shane hits Three Amigos (with a delay on the third) for two but Bagwell comes back with a double arm DDT. The hot tag brings in both members of Kronik to clean house but Bam Bam DDTs both of them. High Times (THUD) plants Bigelow but Candido hits Clark with something, sending Kronik chasing him off. The Blockbuster ends Bigelow a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. That chokeslam was quite the landing but the rest of the match wasn’t much to see. They did a decent job of building up Shane vs. Bagwell in the span of a week but it’s still a stretch to use it as a gimmick match. Kronik vs. Bigelow/Candido on the other hand doesn’t quite work when Candido has a broken wrist and there’s just no one else to put in his spot because then it wouldn’t be the same team from ECW.

Shane gives Bagwell the Pittsburgh Plunge but has to run from Kronik.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is defending and I’ll only refer to him as champion. Mike Awesome is guest referee. Notice that when Russo is gone, the World Title is on last. Only Midajah this week, which I think is the norm going forward. Cat is on commentary. Steiner offers some stipulations but Jeff jumps him from behind to start fast. A tilt-a-whirl slam puts the champ down and the Push-Up elbow gets two.

Steiner clotheslines him out to the floor but Jeff comes back with some chair shots to take over. Jarrett makes the mistake of going after Midajah (the announcers get on Cat for the interference part here, which is really heelish of them) and Scott goes sane (that’s more out of the ordinary for him than going nuts), only to get hit low. The belly to belly is broken up by some thumbs to the eye and we hit the sleeper.

Steiner suplexes out (Cat: “He’s pulling hair again!”) and gets a powerslam for a fair two count. A belly to belly gets the same and Scott puts on the illegal Recliner (It’s actually getting worse. I didn’t think that could be done.). Cat demands that the hold be broken so Mike hits Steiner with a chair. Jeff gets two but Steiner fights back up and puts Awesome in the Recliner. The guitar knocks him cold though and Jeff retains.

Rating: C-. They kept the shenanigans to a minimum here (I can live with a few chair shots here and there) and it really helped things. Steiner getting a title shot should have been a bigger deal but they’re just building Jeff up for Hogan at this point. It’s strange to see the World Title treated like the TV Title but at least this was the main event.

Post match Cat comes in to go after Steiner and Goldberg has to come in for the save. Cue Nash and Goldberg bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If you EVER need more proof that Russo is killing WCW, watch last week’s show and this one back to back. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a bigger change between two weeks of shows. This week had an idea they were building towards, set up matches for the pay per view and was WAY more coherent than anything WCW has done in so long.

Above all else, I never once got mad or ranted and raved about what they could be thinking. That’s because it was always clear what they were thinking. It might not have been the most interesting stuff, but you could see exactly what they were shooting for here and it made the show feel like wrestling again instead of the freak show that Russo has made it into.

Now all that being said, this is still not a great or even good show. Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash as the heroes isn’t going to work (oh and no Hogan this week helped a lot too) as neither is interesting enough at the moment, but at least Booker seems to be rising up the card in a hurry. The wrestling was a bit better with some of the matches getting some time, but it still doesn’t fix a lot of the problems. WAY better show this week though with the major problem being removed and changing everything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #231
Date: March 13, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 5,996
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone

It’s the go home show for Uncensored 2000, meaning we might finally get a breather from all this nonsense if we can just get through one more week. The big draw tonight is the return of Hogan and Sting, because that’s what the world needs right now. Other than that we might even be treated to more Jarrett vs. Sid build. Let’s get to it.

Ric Flair is in the back with Liz and Luger and tries to apologize for Arn making a scene on Thunder. Ric is never going to ride with the old truck again because he’s going to be riding with the Luger Ferrari. Luger says Arn is part of Team Package.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Ric Flair with the Hogan weightlifting belt and something to say. He isn’t happy to be in this God forsaken part of the world but he has a point to prove. Let’s get right to it and get Arn Anderson out here, which gives us what might be the best thing of the night: the Four Horsemen music. Ric cuts Anderson off before he can say anything and declares Team Package the replacement of the Horsemen and promises the old life can rise again.

Anderson says that would be the easy thing to do, but he’s been thinking about all those years of bleeding all over this country and proving that they were the best wrestlers in the world. What Flair is trying to do with Luger is taking the easy way and it’s guaranteed for destruction, so Anderson wants to step away as Flair’s friend, because it’s not going to work.

This brings Anderson to the strap match with Hogan at Uncensored so Arn wants Hogan to come out here right now. Cue Hulk and Flair loses his mind. Hogan cuts Flair’s ranting off but Anderson promises Hulk that he won’t be there at Uncensored because he’s taking himself out. Flair: “WHAT???” Arn walks away but Hulk comes down the aisle, talking about being the man in wrestling for twenty years. He doesn’t want to wait until Sunday and the brawl is on but Luger runs out to blast Hogan with the bat. Flair and Luger get in some shots before leaving Hogan laying, clutching his shoulder.

Just like it has been for weeks, this was one of the best segments they’ve done in a long time, but it’s all about old guys who are going to eventually have a horrible match. That’s where these segments are wasted: the matches are going to suck because the two wrestlers are about 100 years old. Yeah they were talented back in the day, but those days were a long time ago and WCW never found a way around that.

Spring Break Out preview with Rachman and the Nitro Girls.

After a break, Hogan is being checked out as Jimmy Hart and Arn Anderson look on.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

The Dragons are Kaz Hayashi/Jamie-San/Yang. It’s a big brawl to start and I don’t think I’m going to be able to follow most of this. Jamie-San (Noble in a small mask) hurricanranas Helms into the corner to start before it’s off to Yang for a high cross body. That earns him a superkick to the jaw but there isn’t time to sell because Kaz comes in to throw Shannon to the floor for a huge flip dive.

It’s time for the parade of dives with everyone getting one in, including Shannon who gets back in and dives onto the pile. Back in and both teams have one guy break up a pin with a top rope splash or elbow, followed by Shannon hitting a sleeper drop to finally get the pin Jamie-San.

Rating: C+. I need a commercial to catch my breath. This is the old lucha style tag that made WCW work in the first place and it was still awesome here. These six guys were out there going nuts and showing off everything they could squeeze into four minutes. The fans were blown away here and that’s exactly the idea they were going with. Get used to seeing these guys because they’re going to be fighting a lot in the future.

Luger yells at Ric in the back and they’re going to take care of Hogan tonight. Ric is way too thrilled at Luger being willing to take him back.

Curt Hennig tries to get Anderson to stay but Arn is going to see his kids.

Silver King and El Dandy are reading their fan mail when Miss Hancock comes up. Dandy: “Do we not excite your groin?” How is that not a more famous line?

The Wall vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They brawl into the corner to start where Wall handcuffs Bigelow to the ring for the DQ in 45 seconds.

Wall goes after Bigelow in the corner but Crowbar comes in with a big metal pole, only to get another chokeslam on the bad neck for his efforts. David Flair and his crowbar (the object) get the same treatment. Bigelow: “GET ME A KEY!!!” Wall chokeslams David through Crowbar through a table and gets in a few shots on Bigelow before we go to a break.

Here’s the NWO with something to say, but first they need to eject the girls. Jarrett says not so fast though because the fans might want to see some skin. If they do, they can look down their shirt so the girls can get out of here. Now for the serious business. Jeff has been hearing about how Sid has his number, so Jeff has a highlight reel of all the guitar shots to Sid’s head. Madden: “I might watch that one when I’m alone with my baby tonight.” As for tonight, the Harris Twins want to fight Sid and anyone he can find. Sid comes out and accepts the challenge and rambles for a bit before saying Vampiro is his partner.

Crowbar is taken into the ambulance as Bigelow says this is his fault. He wants Wall at Uncensored, even though it went pretty badly about ten minutes ago?

Harlem Heat is ready for Disco Inferno tonight and Booker/Kidman on Sunday. This was nothing.

Nitro Girls.

Clip of Paul Orndorff trying to sign a guy with massive arms at Arnold Schwarzenegger’s bodybuilding show. More on this later, because we’re just that lucky.

Booker/Kidman vs. Lane/Rave

Yeah Lodi is Rave now because changing his name every few weeks is the big solution. Kidman and Lane get things going as Miss Hancock comes out to do commentary. Rave breaks up a tag attempt to do some double teaming as Hancock talks about Kidman looking good to her. Somehow Torrie hears this despite being twenty feet away and gets in Hancock’s face but nothing comes of it. Kidman dropkicks Lane out of the air as everything breaks down. Booker’s kicks put Lane down and he goes up for the missile dropkick but Kidman rolls Lane up for the pin instead.

Curt Hennig vs. Total Package

Before Curt comes to the ring, Hogan returns in the ambulance. Oh dear, oh dear. It’s a brawl to start with Hennig sending Luger into the buckle a few times and scoring with a running knee lift. A shot with the cast drops Luger but here’s Flair for the DQ. I see this is another one of those wrestling shows minus the wrestling.

Post match Hogan (with two good shoulders) comes in for the save and wants a tag match tonight.

Vampiro is in the boiler room or whatever they’re ripping off this week and broods about how much he hates Jeff Jarrett. Tonight, Jeff can’t run and hide from this freak.

Brian Knobbs is looking for the Dog and finds him drinking from a toilet.

More Spring Break Out stuff.

The tag match is set for tonight.

Nitro Girls.

Sid is ready for Jarrett on Sunday. Powerbombs are promised.

Norman Smiley vs. The Dog

Dog has a hood on his head to calm him down so Norman comes up behind him for the spanking dance. Knobbs goes after Norman until the Demon comes out to even things up, Lane and Rave come out to take out Demon, and Norman makes the Dog tap to the Norman’s Conquest. This took about a minute total.

Knobbs says he’s hardcore and wants a fight with anyone right now.

Brian Knobbs vs. Terry Funk

Brian meets him with a trashcan shot as Funk gets in before a second puts Funk right back outside. Funk comes back by crashing some trashcan lids over Knobbs’ head before they fight into the crowd. Back in and they fight over a trashcan by lifting it into the air with both guys pulling it down onto the other’s head over and over. This brings out Evan and Shannon from 3 Count (Shane is still injured from earlier) to knock Brian out with the Hardcore Title to give Terry the pin.

Terry comes back in with the chicken to clean house (because that’s still a thing) but Dustin Rhodes runs out with the bullrope (because that’s still a thing) to lay out Funk.

Finlay is going to beat up Vampiro in their hardcore match on Sunday. That’s Vampiro’s reward for all his main event stuff because the US Title is being held hostage by the NWO. Again.

Vampiro/Sid Vicious vs. Harris Twins

Sid pounds on Don in the corner to start but the Twins quickly take over on Vampiro with Don getting two off a side slam. Ron charges into a spinning kick in the corner but the Twins cheat to stay in control. Vampiro is all like “whatever. Raven never said BRING IT ON so why should I?” The H Bomb puts Vampiro down but Sid tagged himself in to powerbomb Don for the pin.

Rating: D. So again, Vampiro is just kind of there as the rest of the boring people do their thing. To be fair, it’s not like Vampiro ever had a chance to do anything in the main event scene because he’s young and has flashes of charisma, meaning he had to be crushed at the soonest possible opportunity.

More Spring Break Out stuff because this is supposed to be interesting. I love how WCW insisted that everything had to be live but 3 Count is at these things so they’re not even trying to hide it here.

Flair and Luger are ready for tonight’s main event.

Stevie Ray vs. Disco Inferno

We cut to the back where the Harris Twins are beating up the Mamalukes to make Disco come out here alone. Not knowing this, Disco says the Mamalukes will put the belts on the line against any two members of Harlem Heat right now. Disco thinks he has the night off but Big T. and Cash disagree. Stevie drapes Disco over the top and kicks him in the face to start as Disco shouts for the Mamalukes to come save him. Back in and Disco grabs a swinging neckbreaker but Stevie Slapjacks him down for the easy pin. I’m not sure what the point of this was but it did fill in five minutes.

Hogan and Hennig are ready for the main event as well.

Team Package vs. Curt Hennig/Hulk Hogan

Team Package bail to the floor to start until it’s off to Hogan vs. Luger. Hogan wins a slugout in the corner as a big WWF sign can be seen over their heads. There are the running clotheslines and it’s off to Hennig as Madden talks about the power of adrenaline. Flair comes in as well to trade chops in the corner but is quickly sent to the floor for a chair shot from Hulk. We settle down to Luger vs. Hennig as I’m sure someone is bringing up Wrestlemania IX.

Luger finally kicks Hogan in the face to take over and it’s time for Flair to come in and chop Hogan because he never learns. To be fair though, that’s Flair in a nutshell: the chops to Hogan/Sting never work, the top rope chop barely ever works and he almost never wins a big match with the Figure Four, so he tries them every night because THIS TIME FOR SURE!

Luger cheats to keep control but Hogan hits his half of a double clothesline to put both guys down. Hennig gets the hot tag and everything breaks down with the good guys (well as good as Hogan can be) taking over. Hogan gets a bit too overzealous though and shoves the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not the worst main event tag in the world but the ending left a bit to be desired. Hennig isn’t even on the card on Sunday, which would seem to make him the perfect (see what I did there?) choice to take the fall here. I don’t hate the idea of having a DQ ending, but it wouldn’t have hurt to have a clean(ish) ending here.

Liz hits Hogan in the knee with the ball bat (Madden: “She swings pretty good for a girl.”) and Team Package hammers away, only to have the lights go out and…..it’s Vampiro? Oh and Sting too, as he brawls with Luger in the aisle and ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well, they’re getting better. It’s still not a good show most of the time but the cruiserweight match was fun and gave the show a lot more energy than usual. Getting past Uncensored should do them a lot of good but there are still a ton of issues with this promotion, especially all the really bad hardcore brawls that last all of a minute and come off as a big waste of time instead of anything interesting. Sunday is going to be rough but I don’t think it can actually be less interesting than what we’ve been sitting through recently.

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