Monday Nitro #224
Date: January 24, 2000
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 12,106
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

It’s actually a big show for once as we’re crowning a new World Champion tonight because the idea of waiting for pay per view is a foreign concept in this company. Kevin Nash is already in the title match but Sid has to qualify by beating Jeff Jarrett, who I don’t think is allowed to fight for the title. Let’s get to it.

This show is dedicated to Bobby Duncum Jr. He had potential.

Nash, Jarrett and Steiner arrive in separate limos with their women for the evening, including Major Gunns and someone who looks a heck of a lot like Victoria/Tara. Scott Hall is here too.

Cruiserweight Title Tournament First Round: Psychosis vs. Kaz Hayashi

The finals are at SuperBrawl, Juventud is out with Psychosis and Kaz gets a jobber entrance. Presumably annoyed by this, Kaz shoulders him down to start and nails a nice release German. An enziguri knocks Psychosis to the floor and Kaz nails a plancha. Back in and Psychosis nails a clothesline before going after the knee.

After a few kicks, it’s back to the floor where Juvy gets in a People’s Elbow. So we have a fake Rock and a fake Road Dogg. I wonder who they’re ripping off next. Back in and Kaz dives right back to the floor to take Juvy out. Psychosis goes up top but dives into a dropkick to the ribs. Well at least they’re finally picking things up a bit. And they head back inside where Kaz misses a spinwheel kick and gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well the flying wasn’t bad but Juvy’s Rock impression, which still just makes me want to watch Rock, is taking away from everything else in the match. Psychosis, while not the best in the world, was clearly winning here because Kaz just isn’t very exciting in the ring. At least the division is getting some attention for a change.

Terry Funk and Arn Anderson arrive.

Nash says Jarrett has failed his physical and can’t go tonight, but the boss has a plan.

After a break, Nash makes Funk vs. Bam Bam Bigelow in a hardcore match.

The Wall vs. Kid Romeo

Squash time. We hear about Nash putting out a $15,000 bounty on Funk. This would be shocking, until you realize that Funk is probably the second biggest face in the company right now. Romeo fires off dropkicks to start and actually knocks Wall to the ropes. He doesn’t knock Wall out to the floor as Wall jumps over the ropes to get there but at least Romeo got him halfway. Romeo’s plancha barely works but he scores with an enziguri back inside, only to try a sunset flip and get chokeslammed for the pin. Wall barely had any offense until the ending.

Sid thinks something is afoot with the Jarrett absence.

Arn tries to talk to Bigelow but Bam Bam would beat up his mother for $15,000. Anderson: “It’s your funeral.”

Scott Steiner and Hall offer the Power Plant guys a chance to fight tonight. Their pick: Al Greene. One of the guys who didn’t get picked was none other than Christopher Daniels, who worked a dark match before the show.

Norman Smiley vs. Shannon Moore

Dang I don’t know who to cheer for. Norman, in Dodgers gear, interrupts the song, therefore making him the instant heel. It also earns him a quick 3-1 beating until it’s just Shannon in the ring. Norman fights up and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and IT’S DANCE TIME! Moore doesn’t care for the spankings and tries a rollup, only to get countered into a front powerbomb.

It’s time to get the rest of the boys involved but Norman is of course way too smart for them (meaning he has an IQ higher than a squid). Shannon is back up with an Asai moonsault to the floor though and Norman is actually in trouble for a change. Back inside and Norman slaps on the namesake Conquest for the submission. It’s pretty sad that this is a major upgrade in feuds for Norman, but I’ll take what I can get.

Post match it’s time to sing again but Moore is still down. Instead, Norman clears the ring and dances for them.

Al Greene vs. Tank Abbott

Abbott knees him into the ribs, punches him in the corner, slams him down, and knocks Greene out with a big right hand for his longest match yet.

Tank yells at his former UFC bodyguard, who Heenan interviews after a break. The bodyguard, who isn’t named, says Abbott is a sellout.

Here’s Ernest Miller, now with blond hair, who promises to whip everybody as soon as he can get back in the ring. The fat boy in the front row can sit down and it’s dance time. How many people in this company dance at the moment?

Greene is loaded into an ambulance and the NWO laughs.

Terry Funk vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Anything goes of course. Bigelow jumps him in the back to start and drags the elder statesman to the arena for some choking with a well placed rope. Some chair shots knock Funk towards the ring but he’s still able to avoid the top rope headbutt. They’re quickly back on the floor and Funk busts out an Asai moonsault of his own to drop the big man. Now it’s Funk with the chair but, ever the crazy man, he tries to headbutt Bigelow and just hurts himself even worse.

Bigelow throws it back inside and this time the top rope headbutt connects, but here are Finlay and Knobbs to help out their mentor (I guess?). That’s fine with Bigelow who easily knocks both guys away and loads up another headbutt. He’s a man of limited offense. This time though, Knobbs puts a chair over Funk and Bigelow knocks himself cold, giving Terry the pin.

Rating: D. So Funk is in a hardcore feud and a main event feud, thereby making this company more and more like ECW every single week. The match was exactly what you would expect from these two (both former ECW World Champions oddly enough) and the addition of Knobbs and Finlay doesn’t make it any better.

Funk promises reinforcements against Nash on Thunder.

Don Harris vs. Sid Vicious

If Sid wins, he faces Nash for the title later tonight. Harris is replacing Jarrett because…..I have no idea why. Sid is smart enough to go after Don before he can even get his jacket off because you know there’s going to be cheating here. They head outside with Sid in control, but he takes too long throwing Don inside and the twins are already switching. Ron clotheslines Sid out to the floor and it’s another switch. We hit the reverse chinlock for a bit before the twins plant Sid with a double slam. Back up and Sid grabs a chokeslam on Don, who rolls outside for a switch, so Sid powerbombs Ron for the pin.

Rating: D. This is a thing that happened. I’m not sure what else there is to say about it but I’m sure that Nash will be able to tell the twins apart (or that he watched the match. Well in theory as not many other people were) and it’s going to be a loophole. Boring match of course, but did you expect anything else from the Harris Twins?

Vampiro vs. Kidman

Torrie comes out wearing basically a zebra print bikini. Vampiro misses a kick to start and they circle each other a bit. A headscissors doesn’t do much good for Kidman as Vampiro throws him down with a release powerbomb. We cut to the crowd and OH GOOD LORD NO IT’S DAVID ARQUETTE! Please cut away from him. Please. I can’t handle it. Kidman reverses a powerbomb as only he can but he gets planted with a side slam for two.

Vampiro misses the top rope legdrop and Kidman hits a big plancha to take him out on the floor. Back up and Kidman dropkicks him to the floor, only to have a slingshot plancha caught. That’s fine with Kidman as he slips down the back and sends him into the post to take over again. Torrie seems way into this. The BK Bomb gets two and Vampiro’s DDT gets the same, much to the latter’s shock.

A little miscommunication sets up a release Rock Bottom from Vampiro but he gets dropkicked out of the air. That’s fine with Vampiro who counters a hurricanrana into a powerbomb for two more. With nothing else working, Vampiro loads up a superbomb but you can’t superbomb Kidman (that doesn’t have the same ring to it), who hurricanranas Vampiro down for the pin.

Rating: B. Again, WHY IS KIDMAN NOT DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT??? He just got done with three matches at one pay per view and he’s had the best match on the last three TV shows, but he can’t get anywhere near the US Title because that’s Jarrett’s and he can’t get anywhere near the TV Title because it was literally trashed a few months ago. Such is life in WCW.

Arn Anderson is on the phone with champ. “Get your pants on. Can you be in Vegas for Thunder?”

Nash gets a massage, which is part of his plan to win the World Title.

Vampiro has something to say but his mic doesn’t work.

Total Package vs. Booker T.

Liz does an over the top introduction for Luger, who then babbles on about Sting. Just get him back so he can crush Luger and be done with it. No one can compare to Luger, including Hulk Hogan himself. There’s SuperBrawl I guess. Booker comes out and slugs away because he should be moving up the ladder but we need a Road Wild 1997 rematch.

An early Rock Bottom gets two on Luger and the ax kick (good looking one) knocks him silly but Liz offers a distraction. Cue Midnight to take care of Liz, allowing Booker to hit a big side kick, only to have Big T. sneak in with a slap jack to knock Booker silly, setting up Luger’s Rack for the unconscious win. So glad to see Booker getting knocked cold again so the Rack can beat him one more time to set up the big main event Luger vs. Hogan feud that is happening for no apparent reason.

Post match Sting’s music comes on and we have a shadowy figure with a bat on the stage. Smoke comes on and whisks him away however. Great. So now Luger is feuding with Sting, Hogan and Warrior.

Vampiro thinks the WWF sabotaged his mic and wants a rematch with Kidman.

David Flair, Crowbar and Daffney have an idea for the upcoming Tag Team Title match.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Knobbs/Fit Finlay vs. Mamalukes

The Mamalukes are defending but before either team comes out, David Flair, Crowbar and Daffney take over all three commentary spots. David takes over Tony’s job and actually isn’t terrible considering he’s sounding normal with a twinge of crazy. Disco is suddenly fine with being with the Mamalukes after trying to make them lose more than once. Daffney thinks they’re the Marmadukes and Marmalades. Crowbar: “I’m like Bobby Eaton and you have the mat skills of Sweet Stan Lane.”

They shove each other around to start and the challengers get the early advantage. David: “This one time, at band camp, I hit someone over the head with my crowbar.” Standards and Practices come out to watch but only Ms. Hancock sticks around. The camera stays on her for a bit before we see Vito working on Knobbs in the corner. Disco and Hancock stare each other down and Crowbar brings up the crimson mask. Crowbar isn’t half bad as a play by play guy. “Double ax handle to the chest! That could cave in the upper thorax!”

Both challengers crush Johnny in the corner as David starts dancing on the table. Hancock leaves with David and Daffney following as Finlay hits the Regal Roll on Johnny. Disco offers a distraction so Vito can get in a belt shot for two as everything breaks down. Knobbs throws a chair at Finlay by mistake (Crowbar: “A FAUX PAS!”), setting up Vito’s swinging inverted DDT to retain the belts.

Rating: D. Crowbar and Hancock were the highlights of the match. There’s only so much you can expect from these four, but they’re already better in the ring than Flair and Crowbar, almost by default. You could barely keep track of the match with all the shenanigans though, and that gets old in a hurry.

Here’s Nash with something to say, though first he has to steal a fan’s sign about Hall being afraid of O’Doul’s beer (non-alcoholic). The fans want Goldberg but “he doesn’t work here anymore.” He and Sid are about to fight but since the powerbomb is so dangerous, it’s banned from use tonight. Well Nash already beat Sid in a powerbomb match without using a powerbomb so that really doesn’t change much. The NWO is on it’s way to Vegas so it’s one on one.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash

Thankfully Nash just stayed in the ring instead of leaving like so many people (including Nash in the past) have done before. Sid shoves him to the floor to start but Nash cheats to win a test of strength to take over. They head outside again as the announcers actually talk about Thunder being taped tomorrow night. I know it’s not exactly a secret but it’s not something you hear about that often. We hit the sleeper on Sid back inside because Nash needs to rest a bit.

Tony’s logic on the match: a loss here makes the NWO even stronger. Sid’s arm goes up after the second drop but he drives Nash into the referee in the corner. A big boot and legdrop set up the hand to the ear to see if the fans want a powerbomb. Cue Jarrett (Nash LIED???) but Sid takes the guitar away to blast Nash, but Sid is smart enough to play possum before crawling over military style for the pin and the title. BIG pop for that.

Rating: D. As I think everyone guessed coming in, this was a slow and mostly dull power match. The ending would have been better suited after a 10-15 minute match, but I don’t think the world was ready for Sid vs. Nash getting that much time in the year 2000. I’ll give them this though: the idea of Sid outsmarting someone is about as entertaining a bit of fiction as I’ve seen in a long time.

Confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is getting downright tolerable. Above all else they now have a clear focus in the main event, which is more than you could say a few weeks back. Back then there were so many focuses that it was almost impossible to keep track of what was going on. Unfortunately that focus is on Sid, which isn’t the most interesting idea in the world.

Other than that there’s a more solid undercard being developed, but it would be nice to see some of the people move up the ladder and WAY less emphasis on the hardcore stuff. We get it: you can hit each other with trashcan lids and chairs and Brian Knobbs is totally interesting and worthy of pushing at least in the general direction of the space shuttle. I’m scared to think of who Funk is going to get as a reinforcement, but I’m hoping it’s just Sid so we don’t have to have anyone else coming in. Or maybe it’s Flair, which would work a bit better. Not a good show this week, but at least it’s a few steps ahead of where they were.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: December 23, 1999
Location: Wicomico Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Scott Hudson

On Monday, this company replaced wrestling with some weird shoot style which involves whatever Russo and Ferrara feeling like throwing out there being presented as the new reality. The big story was the reformation of the NWO because…..normally I would complain here but it was probably the most logical thing all night. I have no idea what I’m about to watch but let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Monday’s main story. The two minute version doesn’t make it any better than the three hour edition.

Tenay promises to prove that Thunder is special again.

Here’s the NWO to open things up and Tony is RIGHT THERE to tell us how strong the NWO really is. Bret brags about all the gold and says they couldn’t make this any more black and white. This has been in the works for over a month and the stupid wrestling fans never saw it coming. We see some clips of the Outsiders helping Bret out over the last few months with Bret conveniently never seeing a thing.

This is the one and only one thing I can give Russo some slack on: the big conspiracy stories don’t hold up if you know what to look for, so tying all this together probably did work a lot better when this show was airing live. Basically the NWO lead Goldberg and Benoit along so the four of them wound up with all the belts and it was a big swerve all along. It still doesn’t make up for Monday’s debacle or the holes in the logic, but at least it’s there. On the screwjob at Starrcade, Bret: “That was better than Shawn Michaels!”

Nash rips on the fans for only cheering the Outsiders because they wanted to be hip. They’re a bunch of $5 an hour workers who have no idea what it takes to be this great. They’ve never needed the people but they don’t mind taking the money. Hall says a bunch of stuff that has to be censored but Jeff cleans it up by declaring this crowd the first annual slapnuts convention. Again he declares himself the chosen one, which makes me wonder why he isn’t the World Champion.

Jeff: “No one saw it coming!” Hall: “I didn’t know where we were half the time.” This NWO is only going to be the elite, because once you’ve had the black, you never go back. That line is SO out of place from Jarrett. Cue Goldberg, who is quickly told he sucks. He’s going to rip the NWO’s hearts out and it’s not going to be who’s next but who’s left.

The announcers eat up time by running down the card. Tenay is lead announcer and Tony is playing second fiddle. That’s quite odd to see.

Token footage of Leia Meow stretching.

Two helmeted bikers arrive.

Benoit says he prefers life’s hard decisions because they require sacrifice. He modeled himself after Bret for living his life the way he believed it should be lived. That ended Monday, so tonight he’s taking Bret’s heart.

PG-13 vs. Varsity Club

Steiner and Rotundo here but first, a rap from PG-13. Leia is forced to exercise before the match and I’m sure you get the idea here. PG-13 gets beaten down to start and Steiner runs over JC Ice. Sullivan says the Varsity Club is too smart to get conned like Goldberg. A combination of clotheslines and Steiner Lines knock PG-13 into oblivion but the referee throws it out. Tenay says it’s a double DQ, even though PG-13 literally had no offense.

Wolfie D. is put in the Tree of Woe for a low blow from Meow. Who in the world thought these teams needed to be brought in?

David Flair beats up a fast food worker for not getting his order right.

Russo is yelling at Hennig in his office, which has been put back together but still has the damage from Piper. So they dragged the broken walls to the arena and set them back up? Hennig didn’t seem to know what was going on in the big scheme but here are the bikers to interrupt. It’s the Harris Twins who turn over Russo’s table and yell at him for screwing with their lives.

Here are the Filthy Animals and Jim Duggan with something to say. Eddie says the Animals are a lot of things but above all else, they’re Americans. The Revolution left them by the roadside but they’re back to knock the Revolution down. Kidman and Konnan say the same thing as Eddie, albeit in very, very different methods of speaking. Rey promises to beat the Revolution like the dogs they are.

Duggan of course says HO and USA. He wants to make the Revolution his personal HO so here’s the Revolution with Dean ranting about the flag of the Revelation (yes the Revelation because Dean doesn’t even care what stable he’s in). Saturn starts talking about Fred Flintstone never realizing that the rack of ribs is too big for his car, making him by far the most entertaining thing in this story. Shane wants to break Duggan’s neck and complains about Americans. The fans are the ones that suck off the government programs and Duggan’s comeback is just him being an idiot. Apparently there’s a match tonight.

Russo sends Hennig and Jarrett after Creative Control.

Tank Abbott vs. La Parka

A right hand puts La Parka down and Tank hammers away in the corner. La Parka hits him with the chair and gets knocked out cold for a no contest.

Tank knocks Doug Dillinger out too.

Norman Smiley hides from Goldberg. Why is Goldberg having issues finding the NWO? Why didn’t he just wait for them to come through the curtain earlier?

The Artist still has issues recording his music but still won’t speak. Paisley gets on the producer for questioning the lyrics.

Hardcore Title: Fit Finlay vs. Norman Smiley

Smiley is defending but Finlay knocks him into the weapons cart to get things going. They fight into the crowd and into the back as we hit the hardcore requirement from the WWF. Knobbs shows up and helps beat Norman up in the concession stand. They lower a metal door and try to crush Norman but Meng makes the save. Norman is thrown on top of Finlay for the pin.

Meng gives Norman the Death Grip post “match”.

Jeff Jarrett finds a paper.

Goldberg chokes Jarrett against a wall and says he’s coming for the NWO when they least expect it.

Creative Control comes out to say they’re no longer Creative Control. Now they’re Ron and Don Harris because I guess that’s supposed to make us care about them. They and their country accents are coming for the Powers That Be. Side note: if they’re the Powers That Be, why do we never hear another voice?

Ron Harris/Don Harris vs. Curt Hennig/Jeff Jarrett

And there’s no Jarrett, so the heel is now in a handicap match. Hennig tries to fight back as Tony tries to keep the Twins straight. The Twins throw Hennig around and a side slam gives we’ll say Ron the pin. Total squash in less than two minutes.

The NWO comes out gives the Harris the NWO treatment, complete with spray paint.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Maestro

Kanyon comes out to do commentary for reasons of storyline development and immediately starts a BRING BACK JUVY chant. Well it’s a one man chant but you get the idea. Maestro goes right at Bigelow to start but gets thrown away when trying a bulldog. Symphony comes in to prevent the diving headbutt so Bigelow dives at her anyway, sending Symphony running away. The distraction lets Kanyon hit Bigelow with a champagne bucket to give Maestro the pin.

Diamond Dallas Page says there’s nothing between Buff Bagwell and his wife. He’s booked against the Wall but won’t fight him until he gets a match with Bagwell.

Recap of Madusa and Karagias.

Evan is in the ring and YES! IT! IS! TIME! Evan says it’s time for a comeback and introduces us to his friends Shannon Moore and Shane Helms. Their collective names: 3 Count. They may not be N’Sync or the Backstreet Boys but they’ll charm the pants off everyone’s girlfriend. Now hit the music. We get a music video for the yet to be named single, spliced together with the guys singing the song (I Can’t Get You Out Of My Heart). The tasteless fans hate the song and here’s a now serious Chavo Guerrero to clean house with dropkicks.

I know they’re not the best remembered team but I loved these guys and thought they were a great idea. Boy bands were huge back then so why not go with a gimmick based on them? It’s certainly better than Evan being the schnook who keeps getting beaten up by women every other week.

David Flair shows up at a gas station and runs into a guy named Crowbar. The Misfits show up and beat the two of them down for no adequately explored reason.

Konnan/Kidman/Jim Duggan vs. Revolution

Saturn/Malenko/Asya here with Shane on commentary. Konnan hammers on Malenko to start and Kidman comes in with a slingshot legdrop. Off to Saturn who eats a Bodog and a high cross body for two. Asya gets knocked off the apron as well but Saturn suplexes Kidman in half.

Back to Malenko for two off a suplex, followed by Saturn’s top rope elbow for the same. Duggan gets the hot tag and cleans house with his variety of right hands and slams. He goes to hit Asya but takes a low blow from Saturn. Shane wants Duggan to denounce America and everything breaks down. The hobbling Rey distracts Dean and Saturn, setting up a sloppy double sunset flip to give the Animals the pin.

Rating: D+. Boring match but somehow this was the first one tonight to break three minutes. Duggan (why is he still the janitor?) doesn’t fit in this story and there’s no reason for the Animals vs. the Revolution to keep going other than they have nothing else to do. At least they gave this match something close to time.

The Revolution gets in some crutches shots to make themselves feel better.

Kevin Nash vs. The Wall

It’s Hall’s turn to be on commentary. Nash takes him into the corner for some knees to the ribs to start but Wall comes back with right hands to the head. A clothesline and big boot put Nash down and it’s Hall coming in with the pipe for the DQ.

Wall gets spray painted and beaten up even more.

Post break, Wall gets off a stretcher.

As Nash gets in the shower, Hall finds Goldberg in his room. Back to the shower, where Nash doesn’t seem to notice the camera, and Goldberg is there too. Is he multiplying or something? We see both Outsiders out cold. Is it possible to like, SLOW DOWN on having him go through the NWO?

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is challenging of course and erupts on Hart in the corner to get things going. They fight over to the announcers’ table with the champ getting control. Back inside with Bret dropping a leg and an elbow, followed by a DDT for two. Benoit fights back with a kick to the ribs and elbow to the jaw for two of his own. The champ nails a low blow as the fans are just silent. Benoit reverses him into the corner and grabs the Crossface, drawing in Jarrett for the DQ.

Rating: D. Just a punch and kick match until the finish with no one believing that Benoit was going over here. That silence for Bret tells you everything you need to know though: this storyline is just a disaster. Monday was too much for the fans to take and there’s no reason to care. They weren’t even booing, but rather just sitting there in silence. That’s a bad sign after your big angle of the year.

Cue Goldberg to spear Jarrett and chase Bret to the back. Bret gets away in a car but Goldberg sees the Powers That Be’s limo. One right hand through the window and see you in June Goldberg. By the way, for those of you that have never seen it, that injury is what Nash said killed the Fingerpoke of Doom fallout story with Goldberg rising up through the ranks to get Hogan. You read that right.

Overall Rating: F. You know the amazing thing about this show? That Bret vs. Benoit match took place after the show was supposed to end. Why is that amazing? That match (the longest of the night at 4:54) took us to our grand total of less than 21 minutes of wrestling. In other words, in the two hours Thunder was scheduled to be on the air, the total time spent on wrestling (and that’s including Norman vs. Finlay in the back) was 15:41. If you add in the World Title match, the total time was 20:35. It took overtime to break 20 minutes of wrestling on a two hour show. That is unacceptable.

Now onto the good. This show wasn’t the abomination that we saw on Monday. It was a disaster and one of the worst wrestling shows I’ve ever seen with almost no action, mostly worthless matches and a story that ran in two hours instead of two to six months, but it was NOT this past Monday. They reigned things way back in tonight and it made the show tolerable, but that certainly doesn’t mean it’s good. I think I can live with it like this, but there are far more changes needed here than WCW has time for.

The show isn’t airing next week due to a college football game so that’s it for Thunder in 1999.

Featuring me talking about a house show I went to earlier tonight, a very good opening rant on Vince Russo (the classics never die), and of course a discussion of 3 Count.

 

Check it out here

Today we’re looking at a guy who has been around for way longer than you would expect: Shannon Moore.

Shannon got his start in North Carolina in 1995 with the Hardys. Eventually they moved west into the Music City Wrestling promotion out of Nashville, including this match at some point in 1998.

Willow The Wisp vs. Shannon Moore

Willow (Jeff Hardy) sends him into the corner to start but has to chase Shannon around the ring, only to miss a charge and fall out to the floor. Back in and Willow does a strange dance, earning him a dropkick to send him right back outside. They fight over a top wristlock with Shannon flipping over Willow’s back a few times. Willow keeps missing a bunch of shots in the corner and Shannon busts out a top rope hurricanrana for two. Moore heads to the corner again but gets caught in an Alabama Slam.

Things slow down with Willow sending him into the corner a few times before planting Moore with the sitout gordbuster. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Willow dropkicks him in the back of the head for two. Back up and Mysterio’s sitout bulldog gets two on Willow but Moore misses a top rope moonsault. Willow loads up something like a powerbomb but Shannon rolls over the back into a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t great but this was still around the time when cruiserweight style wrestling was the hottest thing in the world. Moore looked polished out there (for the level he’s at that is) and the fans were getting into a lot of his speed stuff. Nice match here, especially for an indy show.

Shannon would head to WCW in late 1999. We’ll pick things up at Spring Stampede 2000 with Shannon as part of the boy band 3 Count.

Cruiserweight Title: Artist vs. Chris Candido vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Shannon Moore vs. Lash Leroux vs. Crowbar

No Evan Karagis for 3 Count here. I think they would split soon after this. The two 3 Count guys do their thing before the match. It’s a Suicide Sixway. The other guys run out and the big fight is on. Shane is on the outside and not in the match. Candido vs. Moore at the moment and I don’t think tags are required. Ok so yes they are. Crowbar escapes a DDT and gets a northern lights suplex for two.

One fall to a finish here. If DQ rules have been relaxed why not allow everyone to run in all the time? Lash vs. Juvy now as this is going to be one of those insane matches. Juvy Driver gets two as Artist saves. Daffney accidently hits a Frankenscreamer on her man crowbar and then screams her way out of trouble. We bust out the dives by everyone and everybody is down.

David Flair comes in and beats up Helms and Candido is crotched by Artist. Candido misses a swan dive and Artist hits an Angle Slam (called a Samoan Drop) and Tammy debuts with a chair to give Candido the title. I can’t complain about her in a see through nightgown and a nice thong shot.

Rating: C. This was your usual insane Cruiserweight spot fest but I could have gone for it being longer than 5 minutes. The non-high flying power brawler as champion is the usual bit for them and that’s fine. The title hadn’t meant anything in years so throwing this together is fine. Nothing great but it did its job I guess and we have a new champion now and he’s New Blood.

Here’s one of the only bright spots from the last days of WCW. From Starrcade 2000.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons vs. Knoble and Karagias

There’s a lot to get through here. This is a three team ladder match but the winner is gets a Cruiserweight Title shot against champion Chavo Guerrero, who will be on commentary. I’m very surprised that we haven’t seen Chavo before this as he’s been around since the mid-90s and is a pretty talented guy. He’s also Eddie’s nephew if the name sounds familiar. I’m not sure how the title shot (which is for a later date rather than tonight) is going to work given that a team wins here rather than an individual. It might be a three way dance, it might be a handicap match or it might be whichever team member pulls the contract down.

As for who is who in this match, these six guys used to be on two three man teams who fought each other for the better part of six months without ever advancing up the card at all (nice job WCW). 3 Count is Shane Helms and Shannon Moore and they’re a boy band ala the Backstreet Boys. The Jung Dragons are Kaz Hayashi and Yang and they’re just Japanese guys. Jamie Knoble and Evan Karagias used to team with the Dragons and 3 Count respectively before splitting off and forming their own team.

You have to tag in this match for no apparent reason other than WCW doesn’t get the concept of a match like this. Shannon and Kaz get things going and head to the mat very quickly before slamming into each other and seemingly knocking themselves out for a second. The ever so caring fans think it’s boring because the guys might have concussions and therefore aren’t doing anything for ten seconds.

Back up and Shannon heads for the ladder but Karagias breaks it up before Moore can get there. Off to Yang vs. Helms but everyone says screw the tagging stuff and heads out into the aisle for the ladder. 3 Count pulls a fast one though and pulls out their own ladder with everyone else in the aisle. The Dragons make the save though, only for Knoble and Karagias to take them down and go up, but the Dragons slam the ladder down onto him. Yang adds a moonsault onto the ladder and the Dragons for good measure to get the crowd into the match.

Jamie and Evan set up a ladder on the middle rope before sending Shane face first into the steel. Kaz is dropped head first onto the ladder as well before Noble brings in another ladder. Knoble and Karagias get in an argument over who gets the contract, allowing Yang to take both guys down. Yang puts Shannon on the ladder and catches him diving into a gutbuster. Shane throws Yang to the floor and hits a BIG spinning dive to take both guys down. Kaz dives on Shane and Evan dives on everyone, followed by Shannon diving on everyone plus Evan.

Jamie goes up the ladder but Yang gets back in and shoves the ladder over, sending Jamie down onto the pile of guys at ringside. Yang puts another ladder in the rungs of the standing ladder, making a platform between the ropes and the standing ladder. Evan walks on said platform and catches a springboarding Kaz in a powerslam to the mat. Shannon dives off the platform to take Evan out before Helms hits a neckbreaker to take Knoble off the ladder. Shannon breaks up the platform and puts up another ladder so four people can climb at once.

Knoble powerbombs Shane off one ladder, leaving Shannon and Yang fighting on the top, until Moore hits a neckbreaker to bring Yang down. Jamie goes up but Leia Meow, the Dragons’ mistress, pulls him down. Even brings in a third ladder but Yang shoves him down to the floor. The Dragons load up a big scaffold using four ladders but get knocked down as another brawl breaks out. Kaz kicks Knoble off the scaffold but gets knocked down by Karagias. It’s Helms and Yang on the scaffold now but here come their partners as well. Shannon headscissors Yang down and 3 Count pulls down the contract at the same time.

Rating: B. There’s your match of the night right there. I don’t have to watch the rest of the show and it’s very clear that this isn’t going to be topped. That’s WCW’s problem at the end of the day: these six guys fought FOREVER and never got to move up the card at all. They never fought for the tag titles or a single title other than the Cruiserweight Title or anything like that at all. Instead they were tasked with going out there and tearing the house down while breaking their backs so that the “stars” could get the glory. That’s WCW in a nutshell and it’s a big part of why they went out of business.

Another match with the same cast from SuperBrawl 2001.

??? vs. Shannon Moore vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Yun Yang vs. Evan Karagis vs. Jamie Knoble

This is a 4 corner 6 man elimination match. In other words you have two in the ring and one in every corner and it’s tagging in and out in an elimination match. We get a clip of Knoble and Karagis qualifying beating a team called Air Raid. That team was comprised of Air Paris and Air Styles. Styles started going by his initials: A.J. You may have heard of him and yes, he was in WCW for awhile. The entrances take forever and the replacement is Shane Helms, making it ANOTHER combination of these six.

This isn’t for a title or anything other than bragging rights as far as I can tell. For some reason Shane being the partner is SHOCKING even though there are two other teams in there. Knoble and Moore start us off. Oh apparently the winner gets a title shot at Greed. Knoble can’t get a tombstone so they slug it out instead. Belly to back gets two for Knoble. Shane tags himself in to face Jamie and 3 Count gets some double teaming to take Jamie down but not out.

Everything breaks down and Moore is sent crashing to the floor. The Dragons take out 3 Count with stereo Asai Moonsaults. The Dragons beat on Knoble a bit now but Karagis takes Yang out with a springboard cross body. Yang and Knoble speed things WAY up and Knoble gets a neckbreaker for two. Knoble brings in Karagis and it turns into a brawl. Full nelson slam puts Yang down and Evan hammers away a bit but hurts himself on a back splash.

Shane comes in and beats the tar out of both Karagis and Yang. Yang grabs a rollup for two but Shannon makes a blind tag and some double teaming takes down Yang. Scott forgets that this is elimination because he’s not that intelligent. Everything breaks down and Kaz pops Helms only to get jumped by Evan. Shane gets a superplex to Kaz and everyone misses dives off the top in a cool looking sequence.

The tagging stuff has been thrown completely out at this point. 3 Count gets a sweet double teaming move to Kaz as Shane dives all over the place. Now Kaz gets a huge spinning dive as does everyone else. Karagis gets a big spinning spinebuster to Yang and then does his driving the Cadillac and talking on the cell phone taunt. Knoble and Karagis argue over who should pin Yang because they’re not very intelligent.

Yang botches what looked like a Lionsault and slips off the ropes. He settles for a neckbreaker to put out Karagis. Tombstone to Yang by Knoble gets rid of the future Resident Redneck seconds later. Knoble sends Moore flying to the floor and it’s Helms vs. Knoble at the moment. Moore gets a Fameasser off the top on Knoble and we have Moore, Helms and Kaz yet.

3 Count double teams Kaz as you would expect them to do. Moore gets a backslide and Helms adds a leg drop to Kaz’s exposed neck. That’s INSANE when you think about it. Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination kills Kaz but they don’t go for a cover. Moore grabs a Fameasser on Helms to be a jerk for two but Kaz kicks him for no apparent reason and hits the referee at the same time. Do they not realize this is ELIMINATION???

Helms beats on Moore but takes a low blow to put him down. Kaz and Moore beat on Helms before fighting each other. Kaz sets for a moonsault but Moore pushes Helms out of the way so that Kaz crashes. Nightmare on Helm Street takes Moore out and we’re down to Kaz vs. Helms. They fight over suplexes with Kaz getting a German for two (make your own international jokes). Top rope sunset flip by Helms is reversed into a BIG swinging kick by Kaz for two. They grapple a bit more and Helms gets a Vertebreaker to end this finally.

Rating: B-. The match ran nearly 20 minutes which made it feel long. Also the people not seeming to grasp the rules at various points hurt it a lot also. Good match and fun but the ending was never really in danger. And of course these people would keep feuding until WCW went out of business because having the best matches in the company wasn’t worth being advanced right?

Shannon would be on the last Nitro, March 26, 2001.

3 Count vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Kaz Hayashi/Yun Yang

Winners get a Cruiserweight Tag Title shot later. Yang is more commonly known as Jimmy Wang Yang and a member of 3 Count is now Shannon Moore. Everybody does a bunch of flips and dives to the floor with no rhyme or reason to them. Yang sends Rey into the buckle and hits a huge corkscrew moonsault called Yang Time. This is under tornado rules apparently. BIG 450 from Evan Karagis but Kidman makes the save. For the finish, imagine Moore being in position for Orton’s DDT but turned face up. Rey hits a springboard legdrop on him there to end it. I didn’t skip anything in the description. It was really that fast.

Rating: C+. Entertaining match but at under four minutes how into it can you get? This was just to give the challengers a disadvantage against Skipper and Romeo later on. The spots were shaky but hey, it’s the last night of the company so who cares? Not bad but nothing we haven’t seen a million times before and better.

Off to WWE now, which we’ll start on Smackdown, August 29, 2002.

Tajiri vs. Shannon Moore

Hurricane, Nidia and Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble are at ringside for no apparent reason. Moore armdrags him out of the corner to start and nails a spinwheel kick for two. That’s fine with Tajiri who drops him chest first across the top rope and starts unleashing the kicks. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a superkick knocks Moore silly.

Back to the chinlock as the match slows WAY down. Moore finally gets up and nails a running back elbow followed by a neckbreaker for two. A bad looking top rope hurricanrana gets the same on Tajiri but he snaps off a German suplex for two of his own. Shannon tries to hit the ropes but Noble trips him up, earning a shot to the face from Hurricane. Back inside and a quick victory roll gives Moore the pin.

Rating: C-. Those chinlocks killed the match as they went on like a minute each. It’s not bad but this is a strange point for the division. It’s only on Smackdown at this point and Mysterio was just recently debuted, meaning the division was basically in a holding pattern until he took the belt.

We’ll jump ahead a good bit to Smackdown on December 4, 2003.

Big Show vs. Shannon Moore

Moore hits a baseball slide to start. That’s the extent of his offense in this match. Oh wait that was before the match started so the beating continues. Shannon fires off some forearms and has his head taken off by the US Champion. Show hits his step over legdrop which is called the Hog Log. Chokeslam ends this quick.

Another jump to Smackdown on October 21, 2004.

Shannon Moore vs. Heidenreich

Moore is a bit more punkish now and hammers on Heidenreich while he’s still in a straitjacket. We get the opening bell and Shannon’s beating begins. They’re quickly on the floor to continue the destruction before a gutbuster drops Shannon back inside. A Boss Man Slam ends Shannon quick.

Shannon wouldn’t do much in the rest of 2005 so we’ll jump ahead to his first match in TNA on Impact, January 21, 2006. Moore had been jumping AJ Styles in recent weeks so it’s time for a street fight.

AJ Styles vs. Shannon Moore

Moore is now the full on Prince of Punk and has stolen AJ’s Mr. TNA plaque. Christopher Daniels is in on commentary here and AJ is in street clothes. Styles hammers away to start and sends Shannon over the top to the floor. We take a break and come back with Moore being sent face first into the barricade. They fight into the crowd with AJ in control and backdropping Moore off a short balcony. Styles hits the required follow up dive as Alex Shelley is filming at ringside.

Back in the ring with AJ wrapping a chair around Shannon’s neck and sending it into the post. Now Samoa Joe comes out to watch from the stage, complete with a towel covered in Daniels’ blood. Shannon gets in a shot to the knee to take over but Styles blocks a Pillmanizer attempt. Instead Moore cranks on a half crab and Daniels throws in the towel to stop it, just like AJ did to him at Final Resolution. That doesn’t end the match though so Moore rolls AJ up for the pin. Did they really need that part?

Rating: C. Nice little brawl here with the storyline stuff overpowering the wrestling. It’s not bad or anything but Shannon could have been any warm body out there. Shelley filming the match (a thing that he regularly did) was another distraction and the whole thing was just overbooked.

Back to WWE at the 2007 Great American Bash.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

From Smackdown, August 5, 2008.

Shannon Moore/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Edgeheads

That would be Hawkins/Ryder. Ryder cranks on a headlock on Yang to start but eats a dropkick for two. Off to Hawkins who eats a chop, only to have Ryder offer a distraction so Curt can knock Yang to the floor. The heels take over on Yang’s arm with Ryder getting two off a hammerlock slam. Hawkins charges into a boot in the corner though and the ice cold tag brings in Moore. Shannon speeds things up but the numbers get the better of him with Hawkins hitting a reverse inverted DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash without much to see. Hawkins and Ryder weren’t the best team in the world but they were fine for a midcard role like this. I kind of like the idea of them being superfans of Edge and dressing like him, but you would think they would use his in ring style a bit more.

After several more months of nothing, it was back to TNA in 2010, including this match at Lockdown that year.

X Division Title: Homicide vs. Kazarian vs. Shannon Moore

If Moore wins, this show sucks. They should have just gone with a one on one number one contenders match but I can go with this I guess. No belt here since it’s in Europe I guess. I’d bet on that being used in an angle which would make sense at least. They double team Homicide to start. Apparently they don’t take kindly to qualifiers in these here parts.

Taz points out that he’s a former wrestler. That’s a good thing actually as a lot of people might not know that actually. If you started watching post 2002-03, you’ve likely never seen a Taz match. Homicide hits Eddie’s triple suplex. Scratch that as he doesn’t get through the trio.

Homicide hits a SICK double Diamond Cutter off the top but can’t get the pin. Nice spot there. Taz says he opened up a can, causing he and Tenay to laugh like idiots. Ok then. We hit the near fall portion as everyone is making saves. It’s clichéd but it still works incredibly well. Pretty solid stuff so far in here. After a near Gringo Killer, Kaz hooks more or less a reverse piledriver for the pin. He had Homicide on his back and dropped down. That was sweet.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here and it worked very well. There was nothing epic about it but nothing bad here at all. The absence of Williams hurt but you can’t fault them for that. I liked it pretty well and so did the crowd. Yeah I’m bumping this up to a higher grade due to the crowd alone.

From Bound For Glory 2010 with Moore as part of the tattooed Ink Inc.

Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. Ink Inc.

Ink Inc. is a tattooed team comprised of Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal. This is the result of an Xplosion match and Eric is carrying a rulebook and has drawn on tattoos for some reason. Oh this is during Young’s latest crazy period. Jordan and Jesse get things going but Young quickly puts the referee on the apron and takes his place. Things settle down and Jesse gets two off a spinning cross body and it’s off to Shannon for a kick to the face and two.

Young comes in and gets rolled up for two so he congratulates Shannon for his success. He high fives everyone, including a tag to Jordan. Ink Inc. kicks Jordan in the corner and Eric wants to join in, only to get crotched on the top rope. Jordan gets crotched right along with him as comedy abounds. Back in and Orlando grinds on Shannon before planting him with a spinebuster. The fans want Eric but get a Jordan suplex for two on Moore.

Young breaks up Jordan’s cheating to give Moore another two count and now Orlando doesn’t want to tag. Instead Jordan nails Jesse and holds Moore open for a cheap shot but Eric goes over and takes Jesse’s place on the apron. Moore tags Eric in because why not and Young cleans house on Jordan. In the confusing, Shannon loads Jordan up in a fireman’s carry so Neal can hit a top rope neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D. If you like Eric Young’s comedy, this was gold. If you’re like me and he makes you want to pound a rusty spike into your eye, this was the longest eight and a half minutes of your life. I will however give him this: at least this was something different than the same four things he would do for years on end.

Back inside the cage at Lockdown 2011.

Ink Inc vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. British Invasion

Jordan’s outfit of the night is a Tarzan leopard print kind of deal. I think this is one fall to a finish. Young vs. Neal to start us off with Young immediately trying to escape which isn’t an option for winning. Neal with some arm drags followed by Young with an arm drag leading to a standoff. Moore comes in and takes over with basic heel stuff.

Williams and Jordan get tags at the same time and it’s off to Magnus very quickly. Jordan does various dirty things to Magnus while beating both Brits up. Off to Neal again as this is moving too fast, namely due to having too many people in the match again. The Brits beat down Neal for a bit and a double back elbow gets two. Double neckbreaker gets no count as Moore makes the save.

The crowd wants Steiner so we keep going with Neal vs. Magnus because the crowd wasn’t quite dead enough. Neal breaks free and tags Crimson when he was wide open to tag either. After Crimson beats on Williams for a bit we FINALLY get Steiner and a roar. Steiner cleans house with his traditional stuff, including belly to bellies all around. He goes for the pin on Williams but Moore distracts him.

Young tries to jump Steiner and Crimson is fine with his partner fighting off four or five guys. Shannon makes a blind tag to bring himself in. He dances around Scott and then chokes away in the corner. Young takes his pants off to reveal some tiny tiger print tights. And so much for that as a jumping back elbow takes him down.

Everything breaks down as Moore hits a moonsault press to Williams, Young hits the Gender Bender to Young, Crimson hits Red Alert to Jordan, Magnus hits….something like a Michinoku Driver to Jordan, Steiner hits a t–bone on Magnus, Young hits a missile dropkick to Steiner….and then tries to escape again. Rolling Chaos to Moore is blocked and the Mooregasm ends Williams and gives Ink Inc the win. I give up.

Rating: D. Dudes, I beg of you: GIVE THE FANS SOMETHING TO CHEER FOR! Steiner was over beyond belief and was in the match for all of a minute. The opening 45 minutes of this show should be a lesson in how to kill a crowd. Nothing has been interesting and the best match has been ok at best. Well done TNA: you’ve proven me right so far.

From Turning Point 2011 for a title shot.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Ink Inc.

Ok so it’s a six person tag with Sarita and Toxxine or whatever her name is in as well. This was about a beating that injured Neal from like 6 months ago which is being mentioned now because we’ve had too much to talk about since then. Anarquia vs. Moore gets us going but it’s off to Neal quickly. Jesse and Hernandez get in each others’ faces and yell at each other a lot as the fans chant USA. I’m assuming it’s for Ink Inc, but the Mexicans are Americans so who knows?

The big showdown goes nowhere and it’s back to Moore who gets caught by the power game for a bit. Ink Inc speeds things up and it’s off to Anarquia. Boring stuff so far and we have a Pork sign in the front row. Tazz praises Sarita for jumping up and down on the apron like he’s a 12 year old trying to sound mature. Off to Neal who gets caught by a slingshot shoulder by Hernandez.

Mexican America takes over on Neal as I’m trying to imagine Ricky Morton with that kind of hair. It really isn’t working. Off to a chinlock by Anarquia for a bit of rest. Some SuperMex power double teaming doesn’t work as Anarquia misses his assisted dive. Neal tags in the chick and it’s Toxxine vs. Sarita. The tattoed chick dominates until Hernandez makes the save and things break down.

We get to the comedy of the match as Toxxine and Neal pulls Anarquia’s pants down to show the involuntary tattoo back there. And then Sarita hits Toxxine in the back with the belt for the pin at 8:34. You know, because they haven’t made the titles even more worthless already. Didn’t they have something to do with Hulk for like fifteen minutes?

Rating: D+. Whatever here as this is what we waited for since June or however long its been? The match wasn’t anything good and the girls added nothing to it at all. Oh and the forced tattoo thing was pointless too as well as not funny. They couldn’t get five minutes to build this on Impact either? I don’t think it would have helped but the thought would have been nice.

One more singles match at Against All Odds 2012.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Shannon Moore

…..REALLY? They have all these people on their roster that can’t get on TV at all and they pick Shannon Moore? Well at least it’s not Eric Young. Shannon armdrags Robbie around and Rob tries to take a walk. Robbie uses his usual basic offense as Moore tries to speed things up. JB talks about going clubbing with Robbie in Topeka, Kansas. Robbie knocks him through the ropes and into the barricade to take over. Back inside we hit the chinlock which is quickly broken.

Shannon keeps trying to go up but Robbie stays on him. Moore makes his comeback and a bulldog gets two. Out to the floor and an Asai Moonsault puts the champion down. Back in and I think Moore spits at Big Rob. Moonsault press misses and a clothesline gets two for the champ. Robbie goes up but gets crotched and a top rope rana gets a near fall. O’Connor Roll gets two but Robbie kicks out, sending Shannon into a right hand from Big Rob. An inverted DDT keeps the title on Robbie at 9:25.

Rating: C. This got a lot better as things sped up, but I could pop in a Best of Robbie E DVD if I ever need help sleeping. He’s so boring on offense and I have no idea why this was given ten minutes. I’d assume it has something to do with the time being short, but if not then they need help. This did improve as it went along though.

Moore is a guy that I never really cared for, but I think that had more to do with his punk character than his in ring abilities. He’s a perfectly fine cruiserweight style guy and had some decent performances over the years. On top of that, I’ve heard nothing but good things about him as he’s supposed to be one of the nicest guys in wrestling.

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Today is a nasty sensation: Brian Knobbs.

As usual, just singles matches today and no Nasty Boys stuff.

The Nasty Boys got started in 1985 and Brian wouldn’t have a singles match that I can find until 1991. From Survivor Series of that year.

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Nasty Boys, Beverly Brothers

Rockers, Bushwhackers

This is right before the Rockers split and they’re already having issues. This is regular rules, which means individual eliminations and not one loss means both team members are gone. Butch and Knobbs get things going as Gorilla and Bobby talk about Hogan vs. Taker II. Butch hits a running knee lift and it’s off to Luke. The Whackers take over on the Nasties with a pair of double clotheslines.

The Beverly Brothers come in and do about as well as the Nasties with both Brothers taking a Battering Ram. The Rockers double dropkick the Nasties and the good guys have cleared the ring. It’s Shawn vs. Beau (the other is Blake) now as the announcers debate which guy on either team is the brains. A backbreaker puts Shawn down and it’s back to Knobbs. Luke comes in and avoids a splash in the corner but whacks his arms too much, allowing Knobbs to hit a middle rope clothesline for the elimination.

Off to Shawn vs. Sags with Jerry suplexing him down. Gorilla talks about how tonight will culminate at Tuesday in Texas. Again, screw you fans who bought this, as you just got part one. Some idiot fan stands up and poses for the camera so the shots keep cutting away a lot. The Rockers work on Sags’ arm before it’s off to Blake. Gorilla somehow can’t tell the Rockers apart, even though they pretty much look nothing alike.

A superkick puts Blake down but Beverly comes back with knees in the corner. Marty comes off the middle rope and shoves the referee for no apparent reason. It doesn’t go anywhere so I guess it was a mistake. Must be Colombian coke for Marty tonight. Off to Beau who doesn’t do much other than allow a tag to Butch who cleans house. The Beverlies double team him with a backdrop into a facejam for the pin and the elimination.

It’s Nasties/Beverlies vs. Rockers now with Marty coming in again. Marty monkey flips and ranas Beau down for two as Heenan and Gorilla trade statements of excitement. An enziguri puts Beau down again and it’s off to an armbar. It’s also off to Shawn who doesn’t do as well as you would expect against one of the Beverly Brothers. Off to Blake who jumps over Beau and lands on Shawn’s back in a move that the World’s Greatest Tag Team made famous.

Out of nowhere Shawn grabs a backslide on Beau for the pin to make it 3-1. Sags is in next as Gorilla thinks Marty should reach further for a tag. Even though the Rockers would split less than a month later, it wasn’t clear yet who would have gotten the super push. The Nasties head to the floor and Shawn clotheslines Sags off the apron and superkicks Knobbs down. Back in and Sags takes over again. Marty’s eyes are just gone and he looks awful.

Blake comes in again and gets kicked in the face, allowing for a falling tag to Marty. A big jumping back elbow takes Knobbs down and a snapmare gets two. Knobbs takes Jannetty down again and Heenan talks about Tuesday in Texas. Off to Sags with a powerslam and a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Knobbs. Marty gets his knees up to stop a middle rope splash and there’s the tag to Shawn. Everything breaks down and Marty swings Sags’ feet into Shawn’s face, resulting in Knobbs rolling Michaels up for the pin.

That leaves us with Marty vs. Blake and the Nasties which I don’t see going well for the coke head. Shawn freaks out on him before he leaves too to even further tease the tension. Marty starts with Knobbs and hits a middle rope bulldog but Jerry takes him down almost immediately and knocks him to the floor. A powerslam from Blake puts Marty down and the Nasties head to the floor. Jannetty dives on both of them and slams Blake’s face into the mat. Marty hooks a terrible looking small package on Sags but Knobbs rolls them over to give Jerry the final eliminating pin.

Rating: D. Man alive this was a long match. That’s the problem the rest of this show has created: there’s nothing else worth watching for the rest of the night and now they’re just filling in time to say that you’re getting a PPV that means something, when really you need to see the sequel to get the full thing. But hey, who cares about treating the fans right when you can get their money?

Here’s an actual singles match from April 29, 1992.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Brian Knobbs

This is during Warrior’s feud with Papa Shango so it’s an odd time all around. Warrior runs over both Nasty Boys to start but they beat him down on the floor. Why this isn’t a DQ isn’t really explained. Warrior loses a wristband and gets covered for two as Shango comes to the ring. He takes the wristband and I have a bad feeling I know where this is going. Warrior fights back and sends Brian’s face into Jerry’s armpit. Sags gets in a cheap shot with a chair for two as Brian starts fighting up. He avoids a splash and hits the clotheslines followed by the flying tackle and splash for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah this was exactly what you would have expected from these two. It was basically a handicap match with the Nasty Boys having fallen WAY down the card by this point. Shango would curse the Warrior after the match and make him vomit pea soup because WWF was strange at times.

Here’s a six man dark match at Summerslam 1992.

Dark Match: Nasty Boys/Moutnie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

The aisle to the ring is REALLY long so the entrances take extra time this year. Duggan is so beloved that he can get a USA chant going in London. Both teams take turns playing to the crowd before we get going. It’s a big brawl to start with the heels being rammed together in the middle of the ring before rolling to the outside. We finally start with Knobbs vs. Luke but everything breaks down almost immediately with the heels running away.

Things finally settle down with Sags clotheslining Butch down….and everything breaks down a third time in less than five minutes. Duggan sends the Bushwhackers into the corner with the battering ram to all three heels at once to fire up the crowd even more. The Nasties and Mountie are whipped into clotheslines from Duggan but a Jimmy Hart distraction finally lets the heels jump Luke from behind to take over.

The fans chant USA as Mountie hits a jumping back elbow to take down the New Zealander Luke. The Nasties choke away in the corner as Vince is freaking out over the rules being broken this badly. Sags and Mountie both hook reverse chinlocks as the classic six man tag formula is in full effect. Knobbs comes in for a hard whip into the corner but a middle rope splash hits boot. The hot tag brings in Duggan to clean house with clothesline after clothesline. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Battering Ram, the three point clothesline and a missed top rope elbow from Sags to Mountie for the pin by Duggan.

Rating: C+. This was an extended but nicely done tag match. The fans were WAY into Duggan and the pop for the win was a nice response for a dark match. I was surprised by how well this match worked. Most dark matches just drag along and are nothing but rest holds and punching/kicking but this went nearly thirteen minutes and never got dull.

Another Survivor Series match in 1992.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers/Money Inc

Money Inc has the tag titles and are about to fight the Nasty Boys. This is one of those “when one guy gets pinned, both team members are out” deals, so it’s a max of three falls to end this match. We start with Typhoon vs. Blake Beverly and it’s a strut off. Typhoon starts throwing Blake around and puts him in an over the shoulder backbreaker so he can hand him off to Quake for a bearhug.

Beau tries to cheat to help his brother but it only results in a double splash from both Disasters in the corner. Off to Knobbs as the fans aren’t interested in this match at all. Knobbs runs Blake over with clotheslines and brings in Jerry who finally allows a tag to Beau. A pumphandle slam puts Beau down but he no sells it for some reason. Off to DiBiase who can’t suplex Sags, so Sags suplexes him.

Off to IRS who Jerry hiptosses down. The limited selling continues as IRS gets up and brings in Beau for a powerslam and it’s off to Blake again. Scratch that it’s Beau in now. Off to a chinlock from Blake as the Beverlies keep tagging in and out very fast. Jerry tries a quick sleeper but they wind up slamming heads to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Earqhquake and Blake is in trouble. Quake takes out all four of them and everything breaks down. For some reason Beau tries a crucifix on Typhoon and gets crushed for his efforts. The Earthquake from Earthquake eliminates the Beverlies and it’s 4-2.

DiBiase comes in to face Earthquake but gets beaten up by all four opponents in short order. Back to Quake who misses a splash in the corner and Money Inc double suplexes the fatter man down. IRS gets two off the suplex and picks him up to freak Bobby out again. Back to DiBiase as the fans are all over IRS. IRS chokes away on Quake some more and it’s back to DiBiase for some chops.

A middle rope double ax by Ted gets two so here’s IRS again. The champs do tag in and out quite well. Quake clotheslines IRS down and finally makes the hot tag to Typhoon. House is cleaned and a splash crushes IRS. DiBiase trips up Typhoon (how appropriate) and IRS gets the easy pin to tie it up, but Jerry runs in and rolls up IRS for the fast pin to win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending kind of sucked. What was the point in having the Nasties beat Money Inc that fast when the majority of the match was about the Disasters vs. Money Inc? The Nasties were basically there to fill in a spot instead of being the focus of the match for their team. Odd indeed but it was entertaining enough.

We’ll jump ahead to WCW in 1993 where Brian took part in the Battlebowl competition.

Brian Knobbs/Johnny B. Badd vs. Paul Roma/Erik Watts

Watts is the son of Bill Watts and is AWFUL. He’s here because of his daddy and absolutely nothing else. Something tells me this is going to be absolutely awful. Roma is a Horseman here for no apparent reason at all. No entrance music at all for any guy which is odd to see. The Nasty Boys are tag champions here so Knobbs isn’t happy here. The main attraction here is how bad can Watts be.

Badd and Roma, the more talented guys on their teams (keep in mind that Badd is rather young here and hasn’t hit his stride just yet) start us off. Roma is in long white tights here which just looks completely out of place for a heel. At least I think he’s a heel. Based on commentary he’s a face. It’s a bit confusing since almost everyone hated him. He can’t even do a backdrop. Decent dropkick though.

Comedy time as Watts is here. Watts hits a dropkick to the elbow to put Knobbs on the floor. Badd comes in to try to save this and they shake hands. We transition from that to hearing about Cactus Jack being a spiritual advisor, which translates into talking about manager of the year. LOTS of basic stuff from all four guys which is the problem. There’s no flow at all to the match. Badd will do ok and then Knobbs will come in and screw everything up.

None of the wrestling is any good but whatever. To say Watts is limited in the ring is the understatement of the year. Roma gets a powerslam for what would be two but Missy has the referee. She manages the Nasty Boys which I think I forgot to mention. This has been going almost ten minutes already, which is the problem with these shows. The matches go on forever because we have nothing else to air, but the matches completely suck more often than not.

We waste a bunch of time to do nothing at all on the floor. Tony talks a bit like a heel and Jesse says how proud he is of him. They speculate that the winner tonight will have a title shot more than likely, be it the TV Title, the US Title or the World Title. I’m not sure which to make fun of: the statement or the match. Watts gets the hot tag and he unleashes his clotheslines. The announcers argue about some quarterback whose name I missed as Knobbs rolls through a cross body and uses the tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. This got 13 minutes for no apparent reason other than WCW was mad at us or something I guess. Watts never was any good and you can’t blame him for being thrown out there when he flat out wasn’t ready. They never got out of doing basic stuff for nearly 13 minutes. If this was like 5 minutes long it’s bearable, but just way too long and not nearly enough talent to go around.

And the Battlebowl itself later in the night.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Ric Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

This is just a battle royal with 16 men in int. Yeah that’s all there is going on here. Just to waste time the guys don’t start coming out until after the announcements are done. Rogers can barely move after earlier. Hawk vs. Vader isn’t as much of a train wreck as you’d expect. I really don’t like watching these matches for reviews as there’s nothing to call. Rogers is out first.

We do the stupid split screen for no apparent reason. Oh it’s to show Rogers going out. Pierce is out second. It’s a lot of filling time as we’re about two hours into the show at this point. Badd is out and Penzer kind of messes up the elimination. It comes out as “Johnny B Badd……eliminated…….from Battlebowl.” Just sounded weird but it’s BY FAR the most interesting thing at the moment.

People are literally just standing there waiting on anything to happen. Someone goes out but something tells me it doesn’t matter. Kong is out. Shockmaster is out. Oh apparently the other guy was Cactus. Orndorff is out. That was very rapid fire and we have like 9 left or so. Sting goes to the ramp but that’s not an elimination because I guess that’s not the planned elimination for Sting.

Yeah 9 left and I don’t really care enough to count them all. The worst part is that there is some awesome talent in there (Sting, Flair, Vader, Rude, Rhodes, Austin, Nasty Boys and Hawk, so 6/9 are at least good) and this is still horrible. Actually the Nasties and Hawk are at their best in brawls so they’re all good in this kind of match. And yet it’s still boring.

Everyone just kind of brawls around and nothing is happening at all. Dustin and Austin head to the floor to fight it out a bit. Flair and Vader fight it out which gets NO reaction at all. Rhodes is busted as Austin is back in now. Austin beats on Rhodes as we kind of pair off. For no reason at all Sting/Hawk would get a tag title shot at Starrcade (in a match that went THIRTY MINUTES and ended in a DQ) so they fight for awhile.

The fans are dying more every second. Rhodes puts out the Nasties and Austin puts him out in like 4 seconds to get us down to six. Rude and Hawk are out too so it’s Austin, Sting, Flair and Vader. There’s a great tag match in there somewhere. Race pulls Flair to the ramp and they slug it out a bit which brings a small smile to my face. Naturally no one says anything about their epic rivalry but that might be interesting so we’ll steer clear of it.

Everyone leaves the ring to fight on the ramp for awhile. No one went over the top so they’re all still in. Stuff like this makes my head hurt as it makes the whole match just seem completely pointless. Vader hits Flair with a splash on the ramp and gets stretchered out to take him out of the match. Now logical booking would have him come back and make a big heroic win by throwing Vader out to build drama to Starrcade. How much do you want to bet that doesn’t happen and Vader wins clean?

Back in the ring Vader and Austin both go for top rope splashes on Sting but the only face left fights them both off. He does what would become known as a spear to Vader as the fans chant Whomp There it is for no apparent reason. Vader splashes the heck out of Sting to take him down. Lots of splashes follow but Sting finally gets away and slugs it out with Austin.

He makes the Superman comeback and the chant starts up again for no apparent reason. That lasts about 30 seconds as they beat on him some more. Vader hurts his back on a Vader Bomb. A corner splash misses and Sting throws Austin to the ramp. Vader knocks him over and Austin falls off the ramp to eliminate him. That’s something I’d book in OCW.

This leaves us with Vader vs. Sting, with the logical booking being give it to Sting I guess so my money is on Vader. Sting does the falling headbutt into the groin spot which is one of my favorites. He gets the always awesome fireman’s carry of Vader. Sting’s strength is always underrated. Sting misses the Splash though and falls out so Vader wins to end the show.

Rating: D. A boring battle royal to end a boring show. Isn’t that appropriate? This was just a weak match that went on FAR too long. A 16 man battle royal got nearly half an hour. At least with 91 they had two rings so the double elimination thing ate up some time. This was just boring on so many levels.

Brian would take part in WarGames at Fall Brawl 1994.

War Games: Stud Stable vs. Team Rhodes

Stud Stable: Robert Parker, Bunkhouse Buck, Terry Funk, Arn Anderson
Team Rhodes: Dustin Rhodes, Dusty Rhodes, Nasty Boys

So yeah, Dusty Rhodes is in the main event as are the Nasty Boys and Bunkhouse Buck and a manager. We can’t have Sting or Vader or someone interesting in there. Arn Anderson is the biggest star at the current time in there. For those of you that haven’t ever seen one of these, here are the rules. We start with one guy from each team and they fight for five minutes.

Keep in mind that it’s two rings and one cage over the whole thing mind you. After the five minutes are up, we have a coin toss which the heels literally never lost. Whoever wins (the heels) send in their second man and that team has a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After the two minutes are up, the team that lost the toss sends in its second man to make it 2-2 for two minutes.

After that two minutes, it goes to 3-2 and alternates back and forth for two minutes each until everyone is in. Then and only then can you win the match and only by submission. In other words, you’re guaranteed seventeen minutes passing by before the match can actually end. This gimmick is by far and away my all time favorite and it really is a huge deal. Thankfully Dusty has a shirt on.

When the Nasty Boys name graphic comes up we see Dustin Rhodes. Nice one guys. Oh and Dusty is team captain despite not wrestling in years. We start with Dustin and Arn, who are the only two of reasonable age with talent so that’s the best choice I guess. They actually have a cameraman in the cage. I like that. Arn does the same spot he always does of having his head put between the rings.

They start off fairly generic as most of these matches did. Dustin gets a nice jump over both sets of ropes from one ring to another. Nice spot. You can see that in reality the heels lost the coin toss as they call tails and after the referee loses the quarter that it comes up tails but the heels win. Bunkhouse Buck comes in to make it 2-1.

Good night this is boring so far. And since Dusty wouldn’t book himself anything but last to save his fat life the savior is a Nasty Boy. That just doesn’t blow my skirt up. The heels put on a double Boston Crab because that sells PPVs blast it. Jerry Sags ties it up. I can’t believe this is actually main eventing a PPV. The crowd is still somehow hot which stuns me. Oh looks it’s a sleeper.

Given the four guys left it’s pretty simple who goes in next for each team. Funk tries to throw a chair in but forgets there’s a roof. Funk is in and it’s 3-2. He hits people with his boot that he removed. Funk falls down through the rings and hits the floor, which means he could just crawl out under the ring but whatever. Of course Knobbs is next to tie us up. Brian Knobbs is making the save. How in the world does this make sense?

Oh Dusty has a shirt that says Nasty Dream. If not it’s perfect. Parker is the only entertaining thing here and I usually can’t stand him. I wonder what they would do to him if he didn’t go in. There are no DQs remember. He finally gets in and hurts his hand throwing a punch. Dustin has a belt from somewhere. Everyone is just waiting around for Dusty to get in and take all the glory.

It was so painfully obvious that he would be the one getting the win because his name is Dusty Rhodes and he could rival Hogan as far as ego went. Of course he can fight off all three heel wrestlers with no issue. Heenan calls him a Brahma Bull which is amusing to me. About 40 seconds after he gets in he puts a figure four that completely sucks on Parker and the Nastys drop about 30 elbows on him for the submission. How Dustin is able to fight off all three guys isn’t answered but whatever. DUSTY REIGNS! That ends the show.

Rating: D+. They managed to screw up War Games. That’s just freaking impressive. Seriously, look at these people and realize that it’s 1994. That sums up the whole issue with this. If it were 1987 this would have been fine but get with the times people. Dusty and the Nastys? REALLY? Anyone that wants to try to convince me that this wasn’t Hogan’s doing, let me know.

We’re going to jump WAY ahead now to Nitro on April 19, 1999 as Sags has retired and Brian is friends with Hogan so he gets a job and a push in the hardcore division.

Brian Knobbs vs. Hardcore Hak

This is a garbage can match or something like that. Brian hammers Hak with a can as he comes in but Chastity slides in some extra weapons for them to use. We get a Pit Stop for old times’ sake and Hak is sent out to the floor. Hak sends him into the post and a cameraman goes down. It’s already table time but Knobbs nails him in the back with a chair.

Hak comes back with a ladder as you can barely see the mat at this point. There’s no wrestling in between these spots. Hak bulldogs him onto the ladder and sets up the table in the middle of the ring. He misses a Swanton though and mostly breaks the table to give Brian a two count. We get the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot to put Hak down but Chasitity takes Knobbs’ kendo stick away. Not that it matters as a pair of trashcan shots is enough to pin Hak.

Rating: D-. Remember the good tag match and the really good four way? This was nothing like those matches. As is usually the case with these things, the best part of it was it only ran about seven minutes. On the other hand, I could have spent those seven minutes doing something more constructive, like ripping my fingernails out with rusty pliers.

Another match from the next week if the point wasn’t clear enough yet.

Brian Knobbs vs. Hardcore Hak vs. Horace vs. Mikey Whipwreck

This is hardcore and the winner of this gets Bigelow at the PPV. Everyone has a kendo stick and Hak stays on the floor to start. He finally gets in and all three guys beat him down with the sticks. Knobbs brings in a ladder to splash onto Hak for two. We actually take a break in this match and come back to see Horace hitting Knobbs with a Surge barrel.

Brian nails Hak with a ladder but Hak knocks him to the floor. A table is set up on the floor but Knobbs uses the weapons cart on Hak. Back in the ring and Horace kicks Mikey in the face as Knobbs chairs Hak. Mikey drops a leg onto a chair onto Brian’s head as the table has been bridged between the apron and barricade.

The Surge container comes back in and Hak slides in another table. Horace beats on Hak with the weightlifting belt on the floor as Chastity sprays someone with the fire extinguisher. Hak dives over the top but only hits table but pops right up to nail Knobbs with a stick. Not that it matters as Knobbs sends Hak to the floor and drops the ladder on Mikey for the pin.

Rating: F. When half of the people in your match have jobs because of Hulk Hogan, you can tell it’s not going to be much to see. This was the usual hardcore mess with nothing interesting save for some product placement from Surge. These are getting less and less interesting and it’s going to get even worse in the future.

And a third match from Slamboree 1999.

King of Hardcore: Brian Knobs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

I think the title is vacant coming in but you can’t really tell with this company. We get a bonus stipulation for the match: falls count anywhere. I guess that’s only standard in WWF hardcore rules. Neither guy has music. They start with the weapons early and Brian nails him with a waiter’s tray and cookie sheet. Bigelow botches raising his feet in the corner by kicking the trashcan when it’s down by Brian’s knees. Bam Bam puts him on his shoulder for something like a backwards suplex into a Diamond Cutter for two.

The top rope headbutt gets two for Bigelow as the announcers get in a stupid argument over talking when the weapons hit. Knobs misses a chair shot and falls out to the floor to really make it hardcore. Bigelow sends him into the steps and hits Brian with various metal weapons. He uses a pair of trashcan lids like cymbals around Knobs’ head and hits a LOUD cookie sheet to the head.

Both guys are already looking spent. Bigelow is sent into the weapons cart but Brian misses a charge into it as well. Brian gets a mop bucket put on his head and a punch makes things even worse. The fans want tables but get a chair to Knobs’ ribs instead. They fight over to the souvenir stand that is there for them to fight in. Off to backstage (complete with a shot of about 10,000-15,000 empty seats. Remember that this is a football stadium) and swing a ladder at each other. Knobs dives off a ledge onto Bigelow to drive him through a table. Naturally he jumps too far and just crashes because this match is a disaster. Bigelow suplexes him through the table for the win.

Rating: D-. Heenan’s line of “And they do this for a living” sums up the whole thing. The fact that these people make more money than I likely will in years makes me feel very very sad, though that might be due to the last twenty five minutes of whatever it was that I’ve had to sit through. Between Stevie’s lame chinlock and this mess, I need something good to cleanse the pallet.

Off to another tag match at Halloween Havoc 1999.

Tag Titles: Konnan/Billy Kidman vs. Harlem Heat vs. Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs

Morrus/Knobbs are the First Family and are managed by Hart. This is under hardcore rules and there are two referees. Remember that. Kidman and Konnan have the belts and wear them out despite not being champions. They’re thieves apparently and have stolen Flair’s socks. The first shot of the match is Knobbs hitting Ray with a trashcan and the brawl begins.

Yep it’s a big mess. Booker throws Knobbs into the first row and the cameramen can’t keep up with everything. This is a case where split screen would be a good idea. The First Family screws up a bit and Morrus takes a trashcan shot. Jimmy gets caught in the ring and runs as Booker stalks him. Knobbs makes the save, pelting a trashcan at him. I don’t mind it as much when you can get the pin out there.

Knobbs is double teamed by the Heat who send him through a casket. Kidman is dropped on a chair as the Heat beat up Knobbs in the back. Scratch that as the Heat screw up and it’s table time back in the arena. Morrus hits his moonsault on Konnan through the table. We cut to the back to see Stevie hit Knobbs with a mummy and Booker gets the pin. 26 seconds later, Kidman pins Morrus (via something we totally miss) and we have a controversy. Not really, but it’s WCW so logic and the laws of time and space take a backseat to Russo’s brain.

Rating: F. This wasn’t wrestling. This was proof that the Hardcore matches in WWF had some logic and thinking behind them. Let that sink in for a few seconds. This was junk and the “controversy” was really stupid because there were two referees and Harlem Heat clearly got the pin far earlier. Kidman and Konnan would win the titles the next night, making this whole thing totally pointless.

Since WCW loved tournaments, Brian Knobbs was part of a 64 man tournament for the World Title, starting on Nitro, October 25, 1999.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round; Brian Knobbs vs. Sting

This is WCW in 1999 so there are no rules, allowing Sting to hit Brian with the bat for the pin in about four seconds.

Time for some Hardcore Titles, so we’ll start at Mayhem 1999.

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobs vs. Norman Smiley

This is a tournament final to determine the first champion. Smiley comes out in a Maple Leafs jersey. The Hardcore Title is the exact same shape as the ECW World Title. Knobs takes over to start with some weapon shots. He’s in an old school Nasty Boys shirt while Norman is in full hockey gear minus the helmet. A middle rope trashcan shot misses so Norman cracks him in the head with it.

Norman gets the hockey stick and Tony tries to sound like he knows something about hockey. The Big Wiggle is broken up and there go the shin guards. Why are wrestlers so obsessed with taking opponents’ clothes off? Jimmy Hart jumps on Norman’s back and Norman gets to have his one instance of physical dominance. They head to the back with Knobs hitting him in the head and Norman stumbles back to the entrance.

There’s a camera waiting on them and Norman gets in a chair shot to the ribs. It’s your usual hardcore match from the late 90s meaning there’s a table set up with Norman going head first into it. Knobs goes into a bunch of boxes which are empty. He screams anyway because he’s Screamin Norman Smiley. They get to the food stuff and not yet prepared food is tossed around. They fight into an elevator and the door shuts. Jimmy opens it up but when he swings the trashcan it hits Knobs and Norman gets the pin and the title. Yes, Jimmy Hart just physically ended a match.

Rating: D+. It’s a hardcore match from the late 90s. The problem is that it’s Brian Knobs in there instead of someone that means something anymore. In WWF this would have been people like Al Snow or Road Dogg, as in people still relevant at the time. This wasn’t anything of note and is the same match you would see a dozen times over the next year on PPV.

And again at Souled Out 2000.

Brian Knobbs vs. Meng vs. Norman Smiley vs. Fit Finlay

This is called Four the Hard Way but it’s really just a fatal fourway. This is during the Smiley is scared of hardcore matches period. Knobbs and Finlay are dressed alike as the idea here is that Finlay trained him to be a hardcore guy. Yes, Brian Knobbs is a champion in the year 2000. Smiley tries a trashcan shot to Meng’s head which fails miserably.

It’s one of those hardcore matches that you’ve seen a few million times in WCW as it’s not incredibly interesting but they’re kind of entertaining for the sake of being what they are. Everyone beats up Norman and nothing hurts Meng, namely due to that big thing of hair. Here’s a table and some bad chair shots. Finlay and Smiley go into the crowd which lasts about four seconds. This is one of those matches that needs to end. Knobbs is out mostly so Smiley goes near him. Smiley gets hit with his own riot shield and this is finally over.

Rating: D-. I mean dude, what do you want me to say here? It’s a hardcore match. Like I said, if you’ve seen one of these you’ve seen a million of them since there isn’t anything different about any of them for the most part. The title never died of course as WCW kept this joke up for another YEAR. They never learned at all.

From SuperBrawl 2000.

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow is champion and brings a bunch of weapons with him. Knobbs has a broken arm thanks to Lex Luger which is a habit of his lately. Knobbs comes out to a version of….My Sharona? It sounds like something Mickie James would come out to. They both grab weapons and hit the floor with Brian running away. Finlay is in the aisle with a broken arm/hand of his own.

They go over to the WCW.com area and it’s your typical hardcore brawl. They’re in the back now and Knobbs goes through a table. Finlay makes it a handicap match but Knobbs wants to do it on his own. They walk back to the ring and it’s table time. Madden asks who puts the tables there and Tony says whoever makes them must make a fortune. He’s right too as they have what, 10 a night?

The table is set up in the corner by Brian, meaning he’s going through it according to wrestling law #5. Yep there it is via a splash. The announcers say Tony is smart for calling that or whatever. Greetings From Asbury Park gets no cover because Bigelow isn’t that smart. Bigelow goes after Finlay but gets caught with a cast shot and Brian My Sharona Knobbs is champion.

Rating: D+. Seriously, what was the point of this? They were really trying to capitalize on the hardcore thing after WWF did almost every goofy idea with it ever to this point? The match was nothing of note, mainly due to it being Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. Finlay served no purpose here and the whole thing was a waste of time.

We’ll wrap it up with maybe Brian’s most impressive singles performance ever, at Uncensored 2000.

Hardcore Title: 3 Count vs. Brian Knobbs

Knobbs is challenging and has to beat all three guys. Apparently it’s a gauntlet match. 3 Count does their dancing thing and then Tony says “Wait a second. How can we do this after what we just saw?” He’s talking about Crowbar and apparently it took him three minutes to realize how distraught he was. They talk about stopping the show, and the thought occurs to me that this could somehow be a commentary on Vince not stopping the show after Owen fell last year. If that’s the case, this company deserves to die more than anything I’ve ever seen.

Anyway, Knobbs wastes some time looking for weapons before the match starts. Knobbs is all upset by Crowbar apparently. As he’s putting the weapons in one of the champions jumps off the top with a kendo stick to drill him. By gauntlet apparently they mean handicap elimination because they’re all out there at once. Knobbs cleans house and uses the Pit Stop on all three of them. Helms gets a chair shot to take over and sends Knobbs into a ladder in the corner.

Splash off said ladder gets no cover because the other two have to go up for splashes also. Karagis uses a corkscrew one and Moore’s Swanton misses. With Knobbs crawling away for weapons, 3 Count turns their back on him for a dance sequence. Helms has a chair on his face and Knobbs hits the chair with a mop to eliminate him. He had a broken nose so that’s more painful than it sounds.

It’s Table Time and after walking around for awhile, Knobbs powerbombs Karagis over the top rope through the table which more or less explodes. Helms is still around and beats on Knobbs a bit to no avail. Tony calls a chair shot a table shot because he’s not very smart. Another table is sent in while Moore is out cold. Moore manages to get a pin when Knobbs trips over something, but it’s a DUSTY FINISH due to Knobbs’ foot being on the ropes. In a freaking ow man moment, Knobbs throws a ladder over the top rope to land on Karagis who is still down. Middle rope garbage can shot gives Knobbs the title back.

Rating: D+. Somehow this might be the match of the night so far and it was a Brian Knobbs showcase match. Why in the world is this happening in the year 2000? And with a freaking Dusty Finish of all things. It was fine for a weapons match I guess, but there was never any doubt of the finish. Why in the world was this on PPV in 2000 though?

Brian Knobs was part of a successful tag team but his single stuff is…well there’s no other way to put it: it’s really, really bad. He’s a great endorsement for cronyism though as being friends with Hogan have kept him and Sags employed for years on end, despite the fact that they’ve just been brawlers for almost all of their careers. The guy certainly has charisma though and that’s more important than technical ability most of the time. Definitely stick to the tag team stuff though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today we’re looking at another small guy: Jamie Noble.

Noble started in late 1999 so we’ll pick things up at the 3^rd Annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show in 2000.

HWA Cruiserweight Title: Shark Boy vs. Jamie-San

HWA is the Heartland Wrestling Association out of Cincinnati, which served as a developmental territory for both WCW and the WWF over the years. Shark Boy is defending and Jamie-San is Jamie Noble. The footage is pretty low quality and there’s no commentary here at all. ECW/WCW goon Tony Marinara is with Jamie here for some reason. They trade wristlocks to start and Shark Boy gets two off an O’Connor Roll, giving us a stalemate. Time for some technical stuff with a nice little chain wrestling sequence leading to stalemate the sequel.

Back up and Sharky armdrags him down and Jamie bails to the floor. Jamie gets back in, only to be bitten on the trousers. Marinara gets the same and it’s back to the floor for healing. Shark Boy breaks up their meeting with a nice dive but Jamie pulls him off the apron and sends him into the barricade. Jamie is supposed to be Japanese but he sounds like a hayseed whenever he talks trash, killing the idea dead. Sharky takes a running clothesline in the corner but comes out with a spinning sunset flip for two.

Jamie kind of misses a middle rope dropkick for two and we hit the chinlock. Really basic stuff so far but it’s not bad. It’s strange to see Shark Boy as just a guy (who happens to think he’s a shark) instead of a cult favorite. The hold stays on for a good while, which is a pretty big waste of Jamie’s talents in the time they have. The fans are WAY into Shark Boy here so maybe the cult favorite aspect is still around.

The champion finally comes back by sending Jamie into the corner and puts him down with a facebuster. There are ten punches in the corner and a middle rope hurricanrana gets two for the champion. The Dead Sea Drop (more commonly called Diamond Dust, flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into a reverse layout DDT (Christian uses it a lot) for two. Jamie misses a top rope headbutt so Sharky grabs a sleeper, only to be rammed into the corner, putting him in perfect position for the Dead Sea Drop and the pin to retain.

Rating: C. This was fine. The matches tonight are going to depend on who is in the ring as I’ll be harsher on indy guys than I will be on big time talent. It’s nice to see indy guys who have talent out there like Shark Boy as some matches from this level can be DREADFUL, which I’m sure we’ll hit at some point tonight. This was a nice little match though and both guys looked solid in the ring.

We’ll hit some WCW now, starting at New Blood Rising with Jamie as Jamie-San of the Jung Dragons.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This would open about 19 Thunders in a row. Tank Abbott is their Rikishi and dances with them. Ok to be fair, this was freaking hilarious. The only Dragon that is known is the masked one who would become Jamie Knoble. Three Count has one guy that meant nothing, Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. This is a double ladder match where the Dragons are trying to get a recording contract so 3 Count can’t record again and 3 Count is trying to get their gold record back.

You have to tag here and it’s a ladder match. They stack up a ladder in the corner and do a ton of stuff with that. Both teams hit a springboard Doomsday Device as this is a fun match but you can tell nothing is ever going to go anywhere. Noble does a HUGE dive off the ladder to the floor. Oh and Yang cut his hair and became the resident redneck on Smackdown. This isn’t bad but it’s certainly is entertaining.

And then 3 Count stops to dance. Jamie hits a nice rana and the other two hit a double splash off the ladders. Jamie gets the record but it’s not over yet. Abbott gets the record and we keep going a bit more. I’d love to hear the explanation to a record company that they lost their contract in a professional wrestling ladder match. Kaz and Helms sprint up the ladders but Abbott shoves both guys over. Karagis climbs up and gets the contract. Soon after Jamie would be unmasked and Karagis would team up to become a third team. Abbott leaves with the contract and record.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here although it made limited sense with the whole double prize thing but that’s WCW for you. These six guys would open just about every show there was without ever getting anywhere at all for it and while the matches were solid, people just got sick of seeing them. I know I did.

And another ladder match at Starrcade 2000.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons vs. Knoble and Karagias

There’s a lot to get through here. This is a three team ladder match but the winner is gets a Cruiserweight Title shot against champion Chavo Guerrero, who will be on commentary. I’m very surprised that we haven’t seen Chavo before this as he’s been around since the mid-90s and is a pretty talented guy. He’s also Eddie’s nephew if the name sounds familiar. I’m not sure how the title shot (which is for a later date rather than tonight) is going to work given that a team wins here rather than an individual. It might be a three way dance, it might be a handicap match or it might be whichever team member pulls the contract down.

As for who is who in this match, these six guys used to be on two three man teams who fought each other for the better part of six months without ever advancing up the card at all (nice job WCW). 3 Count is Shane Helms and Shannon Moore and they’re a boy band ala the Backstreet Boys. The Jung Dragons are Kaz Hayashi and Yang and they’re just Japanese guys. Jamie Knoble and Evan Karagias used to team with the Dragons and 3 Count respectively before splitting off and forming their own team.

You have to tag in this match for no apparent reason other than WCW doesn’t get the concept of a match like this. Shannon and Kaz get things going and head to the mat very quickly before slamming into each other and seemingly knocking themselves out for a second. The ever so caring fans think it’s boring because the guys might have concussions and therefore aren’t doing anything for ten seconds.

Back up and Shannon heads for the ladder but Karagias breaks it up before Moore can get there. Off to Yang vs. Helms but everyone says screw the tagging stuff and heads out into the aisle for the ladder. 3 Count pulls a fast one though and pulls out their own ladder with everyone else in the aisle. The Dragons make the save though, only for Knoble and Karagias to take them down and go up, but the Dragons slam the ladder down onto him. Yang adds a moonsault onto the ladder and the Dragons for good measure to get the crowd into the match.

Jamie and Evan set up a ladder on the middle rope before sending Shane face first into the steel. Kaz is dropped head first onto the ladder as well before Noble brings in another ladder. Knoble and Karagias get in an argument over who gets the contract, allowing Yang to take both guys down. Yang puts Shannon on the ladder and catches him diving into a gutbuster. Shane throws Yang to the floor and hits a BIG spinning dive to take both guys down. Kaz dives on Shane and Evan dives on everyone, followed by Shannon diving on everyone plus Evan.

Jamie goes up the ladder but Yang gets back in and shoves the ladder over, sending Jamie down onto the pile of guys at ringside. Yang puts another ladder in the rungs of the standing ladder, making a platform between the ropes and the standing ladder. Evan walks on said platform and catches a springboarding Kaz in a powerslam to the mat. Shannon dives off the platform to take Evan out before Helms hits a neckbreaker to take Knoble off the ladder. Shannon breaks up the platform and puts up another ladder so four people can climb at once.

Knoble powerbombs Shane off one ladder, leaving Shannon and Yang fighting on the top, until Moore hits a neckbreaker to bring Yang down. Jamie goes up but Leia Meow, the Dragons’ mistress, pulls him down. Even brings in a third ladder but Yang shoves him down to the floor. The Dragons load up a big scaffold using four ladders but get knocked down as another brawl breaks out. Kaz kicks Knoble off the scaffold but gets knocked down by Karagias. It’s Helms and Yang on the scaffold now but here come their partners as well. Shannon headscissors Yang down and 3 Count pulls down the contract at the same time.

Rating: B. There’s your match of the night right there. I don’t have to watch the rest of the show and it’s very clear that this isn’t going to be topped. That’s WCW’s problem at the end of the day: these six guys fought FOREVER and never got to move up the card at all. They never fought for the tag titles or a single title other than the Cruiserweight Title or anything like that at all. Instead they were tasked with going out there and tearing the house down while breaking their backs so that the “stars” could get the glory. That’s WCW in a nutshell and it’s a big part of why they went out of business.

Noble would head to WWE and have a Cruiserweight Title shot at King of the Ring 2002.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane

This was either Noble’s first match or at least his first feud. Oh ok this is his second. Seriously, the recap is still going. It’s getting more time than the opening video. Oh and the heels unmasked him which Burchill is still trying to do. IT’S STILL GOING! I have absolutely no interest in this match at all. Hurricane was running around chokeslamming people. Nidia thinks she means something. That’s just amusing.

There’s a “she’s a crack w****” chant going as we flash back to ECW. She tries to trip Hurricane and misses. You grab the big white thing. It’s how you got a job more than likely as it certainly isn’t for your looks and talent. Oh Tuesday is the Divas Undressed thing. It was a lingire thing that went nowhere. There were some ok looks but that’s about it. As you can tell, I’m not talking much about the match.

This division and title were just jokes and it’s good that the title isn’t coming back. Let it go people. Oh dear we begin the sex jokes about Hurricane and why Nidia dumped him. I hate those. Oh dang it they’re using sleepers. I can barely stand the thought of this match already and they’re just boring me to death. This division was just a freaking waste. Wait a minute. This is a Smackdown match. WHY ARE LAWLER AND ROSS CALLING IT???

We have acknowledged that Tazz and Cole, the SMACKDOWN ANNOUNCERS are in the building, but instead we get Ross and Lawler who have nothing to do with these guys or their show talking about the match. What in the heck is wrong with this? Hurricane and Nidia fight over his cape. Hurricane suplexes Noble over the ropes and he lands on his leg. Dang it he’s getting up so we have to keep going. The main problem here is Nidia.

She won’t freaking shut up and she’s just annoying. Hurricane hits a swinging neckbreaker from the top rope. This match just needs to end. It’s all highspots and Nidia and only one of those things are interesting. Noble kicks out of the chokeslam which stuns the crowd. For some reason they’re into this. Hurricane crotches himself on the top and Noble powerbombs him for the title while Nidia shoves his foot off the ropes. They make out way too much after the match.

Rating: D-. And it passes for the highspots. This was just freaking pointless and of course they gave it 10 minutes. See, in WCW, this was successful because there WERE NO STORIES. It was all highspots and no stupid ugly women screaming all the time. Learn from that Vince.

Title defense from Vengeance 2002.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

At this point, the belt means jack. It’s the guy wins title after being on “an impressive roll as of late”, holds it for like three months while never defending it, another guy goes “on an impressive roll as of late” and normally he wins the title. This would be the first major, and I use that term more loosely than Lita after a bottle of Jack, title defense for Noble though, so there’s more or less no way he loses here.

That and I reviewed the match where he did lose it already so yeah this isn’t in any doubt at all. Wow absolutely no one cares here. We get the line about Noble not being your traditional cruiserweight as he uses a ground based attack and isn’t a high flier. Well duh, he’s a heel champion. Has there ever been a high flier that’s a heel? Only an idiot would book that? Kidman goes up top. I wonder if he’s about to GET READY TO FLY.

I really could not be less interested in this. Yet I’m writing a review of it. There’s something extremely wrong with me I think. How in the world did Noble win the ROH Title for a month? Was that like a massive rib or something? Noble messes up Kidman’s shoulder to try to make people care. To be fair, Kidman gets some pops in there.

Oh some guy named Rey Mysterio debuts Thursday. So four months you got Ortn, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Not bad. Kidman doesn’t tap to an armbar. Kidman goes for an enziguri. It lands on Noble’s back. Wow this is making my head hurt. Shooting Star misses and Noble rolls him up for two. Noble hits a Tiger Bomb to end this.

Rating: D+. Not bad, but seriously, no one really cared. This just filled in about 8 minutes and wasn’t that good at all. More or less a nothing match that went nowhere at all. Not that it was terrible or anything, but no point at all. That’s the case with way too many cruiserweight matches, but at least they’re not using all of the stories to bog things down.

Jamie would hook up with rival Tajiri for a tag match on Smackdown, September 26, 2002.

Jamie Noble/Tajiai vs. Billy/Chuck

Billy and Chuck are in street clothes. What street that is I’m not sure. Adrian maybe? Billy and Tajiri get started. I don’t remember Tajiri being a heel but he and his partner go after Billy’s knee. Handspring elbow puts Billy down and a big kick gets two. Noble tries to cannonball down onto the leg but Billy kicks him to the floor. Billy still can’t tag as Tajiri knocks Palumbo to the floor. Noble hooks a unique leg lock on Billy’s bad knee.

Can we just watch Torrie slap the mat in that bikini again? Tajiri gets in some shots as we hear about the exclusive contracts between the brands, including Orton being signed to Raw. He was a young cocky heel at this point. I wonder what ever happened to him. Billy manages to get in a kick to Noble and a flapjack allows for the hot tag. Chuck cleans house and tries a powerbomb but Tajiri counters into a victory roll attempt. Chuck holds him in place though and Code Red (Doomsday Device) ends this.

Rating: C. Fine match here and when you throw something together inside of 30 seconds that’s as good as you can ask for. Billy and Chuck had some good chemistry and it worked here. I miss random showdowns like these or the first match and they work pretty well most pf the time, especially when you have talented people in there.

Off to Velocity for the required opponent on January 12, 2003.

Bryan Danielson vs. Jamie Noble

Noble takes him to the mat into a headscissors but Bryan counters into a double arm crank to put Jamie down for two. They trade wristlocks until Danielson takes him down with a headlock. Off to a test of strength with Jamie getting two off a northern lights suplex. A drop toehold puts Danielson throat first into the ropes and a Saito Suplex gets two.

Off to a cross arm choke on Danielson but he slides through Jamie’s legs into a sunset flip for two. We hit the chinlock on Bryan for a bit before he comes back with a running clothesline for two of his own. There’s the backflip out of the corner and Danielson hits a discus forearm to the back of the head. A German suplex gets two on Jamie but he comes back with a quick swinging neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was way better than I was expecting with both guys looking solid out there. Danielson was clearly going to be something special in the future as he was a natural in the ring and moved from one spot to another with ease. It was a surprisingly good match with both guys nailing it.

Jamie decided he wanted Torrie and had a chance to sleep with her if he could beat Billy Gunn at Vengeance 2003.

Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings a briefcase with his “stuff” in it. They actually open it which is creepy. Jamie’s girlfriend Nidia comes out and is mad at him over this clearly. See the criticisms of soap opera stuff that WWE gets? Noble works on his knee so his regular stuff can’t work. Gunn busts out a random Diamond Cutter for two. Didn’t see that one coming. Noble hooks a DDT from the second rope. I liked that.

Nidia puts his foot on the ropes though since she doesn’t want Torrie sleeping with Noble. That makes sense at least. Both girls beat him up. Billy gets rammed into Torrie and gets rolled up for the pin. Torrie says Holy censored and it’s rather amusing. Cole shouting NOBLE GETS TO SLEEP WITH TORRIE cracked me up. He wants to watch. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Bad match on top of a bad angle doesn’t help. Naturally it didn’t happen and Noble and Gunn started teaming together because it’s professional wrestling and of course it doesn’t make sense. Torrie looked hot though so I can’t complain much there. Still though, stupid angle and a stupid match.

Noble got a Cruiserweight Title shot at Royal Rumble 2004.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending. This is during the Nidia is Blind phase which didn’t do anything for anyone. They speed things WAY up to start with Jamie avoiding the 619 and launching Rey into the air to take over. The champ gets draped over the top rope for two and a hard kick to the back gets the same.

Jamie hooks a chinlock which shifts into a seated abdominal stretch. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and a springboard rana followed by the sitout bulldog for two. He springboards into a gutbuster from Noble for two though and momentum shifts again. Nidia accidentally grabs Noble’s foot, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and springboard legdrop…..for the pin? Huh?

Rating: D+. This was fast paced while it lasted, but those three words are the key: while it lasted. This barely broke three minutes which simply isn’t enough for a PPV title match. Unless I was missing it there was no sign of an injury or anything like that, but the match ends that fast. I have no idea what they were going for here but it didn’t work in any way at all. That’s a shame too because they were going well while it lasted.

Jamie would head to Japan and then ROH for awhile, even beating CM Punk for the ROH World Title in 2005. It wouldn’t last long though and it was back to WWE, including this match at Royal Rumble 2006.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Kid Kash is champion coming in and this is Texas Tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Helms is from Raw but is here because it’s an open invitational. It’s a big brawl to start and everyone gangs up on Helms. I don’t know if there was a delay of some sort or just a really bad sign, but there are dozens if not hundreds of empty seats visible in the lower arena, most of them opposite the hard camera.

Helms gets beaten into the corner but Kash pulls some other people off for no apparent reason. Nunzio slams Kash onto the mat for one Noble gets two on Nunzio off a powerslam as London hits a dropsalt for two on Noble and Nunzio. Wait apparently those red seats are stairs. Those are rather distracting and the seating structure is odd as there’s a group of about eight seats per row then another set of stairs as opposed to most arenas where there are about twice that many in a row. At least the place isn’t as empty as it seemed.

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Back in and London loads up a shooting star press onto Kash but Helms goes up top at the same time and hooks a swinging neckbreaker to bring London down for two. A brainbuster from Kash kills London again but two guys come in for the save. All six guys are back in the ring now and Kash gets two off a Backstabber on Nunzio. Funaki can’t hit a tornado DDT on Noble and gets caught in a gutbuster for trying. Noble gets sent to the floor by Helms and Gregory hits a Shining Wizard out of nowhere for the pin on Funaki and the title.

Rating: C+. What are you expecting to find here? It’s six guys in the ring all at once and going nuts on each other with spots. There isn’t supposed to be any sort of story or flow to it and there certainly wasn’t here. It was the right choice for an opener and the match worked well enough for its purpose. Fine but nothing memorable at all. Helms would hold the title for over a year.

Back to Velocity on March 11, 2006.

Pitbulls vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Funaki

Kash and Funaki get things going with Kash running him over, only to get caught with a hiptoss. Scotty comes in to work on the arm but it’s quickly off to Noble for a stomping in the corner. A neckbreaker gets two on Hotty and everything starts to break down before it’s back to Jamie for a legdrop.

Kash comes in again but his moonsault hits Scotty’s knees. Scotty dives for the tag and loses his shoe but gets over to Funaki to clean house. A high cross body gets two on Noble but the one shoed Scotty takes Kash down for the Worm. Funaki dropkicks him to the floor but gets caught in a gorilla press gutbuster from Noble for the pin.

Rating: C. Another nice match here with both teams getting to show off a little bit. There’s only so much you can get out of a match between the Pitbulls and Hotty/Funaki but it was a very pleasant surprise. The Pitbulls weren’t a bad team but they were around in a boring stretch for the tag team division.

Speaking of the tag team division, here’s a Tag Team Title shot at Great American Bash 2006.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Pit Bulls

The Bulls are Jamie Noble and Kid Kash. They were a team that was around when I really wasn’t watching Smackdown so this is a new thing for me. London and Kash start us off with Kash taking it to the mat. For some reason we’re talking about the Rock N Roll Express now. Kash keeps running him over so London speeds things up to take over. Off to Kendrick and they use a modified rocket launcher for two.

Kendrick works on the arm and we hear about the Crockett family starting up the Bash in the 80s. Off to Noble who apparently likes having men on the ground. I love wrestling but the gay jokes are really hard to avoid at times. Back to London who keeps Noble’s arm in trouble. This has been one sided so far and Londrick sends them to the floor. You know that means stereo dives.

FINALLY Noble gets in a shot to take over and gets a pair of two counts. Back to Kash who slams Kendrick into the mat by his hair. Kendrick dodges a charge and brings in London. Things speed way up and we talk about Ivan Putski. They go to the apron and London tries to skin the cat, but Noble gets in a shot to the back. I guess this is the official face in peril part.

London may have hurt his back on the way down onto the apron. Noble hooks on a chinlock for a few seconds and there’s a leg lariat for two. The Pit Bulls do some good old fashioned heel tag team work to keep Kendrick out. More double teaming follows but London fights out of the corner. He kicks Noble into Kash but Kash makes the save to break up the tag. Cole says London was minutes away from making the tag. Well at least he was close.

London backflips out of a suplex and falls into Kendrick for the tag. Springboard missile dropkick takes out Kash and things speed WAY up. He hits leg lariats to everyone but Noble makes the save on the cover. Noble tries something like a double underhook piledriver on Kendrick but London saves again. There’s a huge dive to the floor by Kendrick to take out Noble. Kash can’t get the brainbuster to London so Kendrick dives off the top with a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: B-. This match right here has already had more energy in it than the entirety of the previous two shows in this series. Londrick would spend the next 9 months or so as champions which is still the longest tag title reign in the WWE/F in about fifteen years. Very fun tag match with all kinds of old school heel tag work to make things very fun and get the crowd into it.

We’ll jump ahead to Great American Bash 2007.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

Off to Smackdown on October 19, 2007.

Jamie Noble vs. Undertaker

Undertaker actually comes out first. Jamie dodges in the corner and hammers away with about as much luck as you would imagine. There’s the chokeslam and the Tombstone is good for the pin.

We’ll jump ahead nearly a year to one of Noble’s last wins, on Raw from September 1, 2008.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Noble wants to date Layla so she’s here too. I don’t remember that pairing very well at all but this brings it back a bit. Granted it’s not exactly the biggest angle of all time. Regal annoyed Layla when she was dancing and Noble saved her so there’s your background. Regal is in his one piece swimsuit attire and he pounds Noble down with ease. A full nelson is easily countered and they trade some rollups for two. Regal punches him in the face to put him down as the beating continues. Out of nowhere, Noble grabs a small package for the quick pin. This was like a minute long.

We’ll wrap it up on ECW on Sci-Fi on February 3, 2009.

Jamie Noble vs. Boogeyman

Noble runs from the bag of worms to start. Boogeyman throws him into the corner but Jamie hammers away with some right hands. A beal sends Jamie out to the floor and a gorilla press sends him back into the ring. Jamie stomps away back inside and a top rope forearm gets two. We hit the chinlock on Boogey but he throws Jamie into the corner to escape. Back up and the pumphandle slam is enough to pin Noble.

Rating: D+. This was a bit better than I was expecting as Boogeyman was getting better around this time. Noble was at his best when he was making someone look better and that’s exactly what he did here. He could bounce around well enough and Boogeyman was strong enough to do all the throws and slams. Not terrible.

Jamie Noble is a guy that was very efficient with what he did and it’s easy to see why he’s an agent today. His stuff in late WCW was really solid stuff with everyone flying around the ring and going insane. Noble wasn’t as good in WWE but he was able to do enough to make the people around him look good.

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