The Wrld On GCW
Date: January 23, 2022
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kendall Gill
Hosts: Lenny Leonard, Pollo del Mar

Every now and then a show catches my attention and I’ll add it to the schedule. That is the case here, as GCW has become the hottest indy around at the moment and I’m going to give it a shot. I am absolutely not a fan of the deathmatch stuff, but apparently that kind of wrestling is not allowed in New York so we get a bit of a reprieve here. Let’s get to it.

Note that I barely follow GCW so I am not going to know much in the way of storylines or characters so please bear with me if I miss something.

Kickoff Show: Blue Ribbon Battle Royal

Psycho Clown, Dark Sheik, Cole Radrick, Parrow, Hoodfoot, Ruckus, Charles Mason, KTB, Juicy Finau, Steve Scott, Nate Webb, Big Vin, Brandon Kirk, Janai Kai, Dustin Thomas, Marcus Mathers, Yoya, B-Boy, Lufisto, Thunder Rosa

Clown jumps Parrow before most of the entrances have taken place and we’re starting fast. The huge Parrow fights him off but Sheik hits a pretty awesome looking jump up to his shoulders into a double stomp to the chest (kind of like Cameron Grimes’ Cave In). Sheik isn’t done and hits a top rope spinwheel kick to drop Radrick. Back up and Radrick runs Sheik over as more people come in (Are these entrances timed? That hasn’t been mentioned.), giving us Parrow vs. Ruckus.

Entrants keep coming in one at a time but with maybe fifteen seconds in between, making me wonder why they started so fast. Scott (I think? Commentary is too busy to say who these people are.) is clotheslined out as Big Vin takes his place. Vin grabs Sheik from the apron and backflips in for a World’s Strongest Slam (that’s a new one) before having a big hug with Finau.

The ring (which isn’t very big in the first place) is WAY too full here as Kirk is tossed. Thomas (the wrestler with no legs) comes in and hits a tornado DDT on KTB. Mathers and Yoya are in as Radrick is out in a hurry (and actually gets named). Mason (in a suit) is in next as this is just a free for all of people hitting one move after another with nothing close to coherence.

Now it’s B-Boy coming in as Clown hits a superbomb on Mason. Mathers (I think) is out with Sheik and KTB following him. Lufisto makes a big surprise return and there go Clown and Thomas. Thunder Rosa is the big surprise and final entrant so we look at her beating up Parrow in the corner while everyone else brawls.

Lufisto gets rid of Webb and B-Boy and we’re down to Lufisto, Parrow, Rosa, Mason and Vin. Rosa hurricanranas Parrow out and the women beat up Mason in the corner. Vin gets beaten down in an opposite corner until Rosa and Lufisto slug it out. Mason sneaks up and tosses Rosa but Lufisto suplexes both of them. Vin puts Lufisto on the apron and Mason drives Vin into her for the elimination. A low bridge sends Vin to the apron but he chokeslams Mason out for the win at 16:04.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t a good start to the night as I’m still not sure who all was in the match. Commentary didn’t do a good job of explaining what was going on and the camera work made it even harder to keep track of the whole thing. I’m not quite thrilled with where things are going from here, but hopefully we get something a little easier to follow going forward.

Kickoff Show: Jack Cartwheel vs. Alex Zayne vs. Grim Reefer vs. Shane Mercer vs. Ninja Mack vs. Dante Leon

No tags and one fall to a finish. Zayne is billed as The Sauce and from the nearest Taco Bell. The fact that he is from Lexington makes it even better. Mercer starts fast with a pop up powerslam on Reefer (that looked good) and there’s a big flip dive to drop some people on the floor. Cartwheel and Mack hit their stereo running flip dives to the floor, followed by dives from Zayne and Leon.

Reefer goes up, lights one up, and hits a big springboard flip dive to drop the pile. Back in and Mack punches away at Reefer before hitting the People’s Moonsault. Leon comes in for a cutter on Mack but gets powerslammed by Mercer. A super fireman’s carry flapjack drops Leon but Zayne clears the ring. Cartwheel takes him down for a slingshot hilo but Mercer is back up with a gorilla press drop.

Reefer kicks Mercer down and spins him into a Crossface with Leon making the save. Leon’s big cutter hits Reefer but Mercer plants Mack with a super backflip World’s Strongest Slam. Zayne is held in the ropes for a shooting star press from Cartwheel, driving Zayne into the apron. A chair is brought in but Reefer counters Mercer’s….something into a DDT onto the chair for the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C+. This was slightly easier to follow than the opener but that isn’t saying much. The thing to remember about a match like this is that it is all about getting your stuff in with nothing resembling a story being told. The match may be fun, but this is all about setting things up for the real card. Not exactly good, but a lot of fun and rather exciting, as is kind of the point.

Owner Brett Lauderdale comes out to hype up the crowd and talks about how hard it has been to get here. They were ready to take over the world but then the pandemic hit. He was told that a million GCW’s have come and gone but now they are here with the roster to make it work.

We get the entrances for the opener, which will start when the show goes on the air. This company has some AEW influences.

The opening video, which is rather quiet, shows a bunch of wrestlers in the empty building with their voiceovers talking about how they have no business at this level. Now they’re here to prove that they belong. Right on point here.

AJ Gray vs. PCO vs. Alex Colon vs. G-Raver vs. Tony Deppen vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver

Ladder match, with the winner getting any title match they want at any time. AJ Gray is a surprise entrant as his scheduled opponent, Eddie Kingston, is out with an injury. They start fast (I’m not sure I heard a bell) with Deppen hitting a springboard dropkick to drive the ladder into Lloyd and Oliver.

Gray buckle bombs Deppen into the ladder in the corner and blasts him with a lariat before going up. His ladder is WAY too short though, meaning G-Raver does him a favor by throwing a ladder at Gray’s ladder for the save. PCO comes in, allowing Colon to lift up G-Raver for a Doomsday Device, albeit with a ladder shot instead of a clothesline to make it even worse. Colon hits PCO in the face with the ladder but Oliver dropkicks the ladder down to break up the double climb.

Oliver kicks Lloyd in the face and hits a dive to the floor. PCO hits his own running flip dive through the ropes. Deppen adds a double springboard flip dive to take out everyone, sending them walking up the aisle. As luck would have it, Gray is ready with his own running flip dive off the stage at the exact same time. PCO chairs Gray down and moonsaults off the top onto the big pile again.

That means PCO can climb, but he’s actually smart enough to drop down and beat up anyone trying to make a save. Deppen brings in a bigger ladder and bites PCO on the face but Jordan Oliver is there to cut him off. Lloyd breaks that up too but gets kicked down by Oliver. PCO chokeslams Oliver off of the ladder though and there’s a package piledriver onto the ladder to make it worse.

G-Raver and Colon break that up, with Raven putting Colon onto two chairs with a ladder over his back. Raver goes up, shoves the ring out of the way, and drops down onto the ladder onto Colon. Well that was dumb. Lloyd gives Raver a running Razor’s Edge over the top and onto a big pile of stuff on the floor. Gray goes up on a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring, only to crash hard onto another ladder (the fact that I’m not sure who he was aiming for is a bad sign). Cue John Wayne Murdoch to take out Colon on the floor, leaving Gray to take the ring down at 15:11.

Rating: C-. The spots were good, but this was a very indy style ladder match, which is not meant as a compliment. There was too much going on between all of the people and it didn’t work so well. At the same time, you had a person shoving the ring out of the way to hurt someone else. That’s about as bad of a level of ladder match logic as you’ll find, making this quite the mess.

Gringo Loco/Demonic Flamita/Arez vs. Bandido/ASF/Laredo Kid

Lucha rules (duh) and it’s Arez starting with Kid. The trade early misses until Kid’s hurricanrana is easily blocked. An armdrag sends Kid outside so it’s Bandido coming in for Three Amigos. That means the Eddie dance as it’s a headscissors to send Arez outside. Loco comes in to hammer on Bandido, who is sent outside so ASF can come in. A wristdrag sends ASF outside for a change and it’s Flamita coming in to take his place.

The 619 in the corner looks to set up something off the top but Flamita flips off the crowd and drops down to flip the fans off instead. ASF is left alone in the corner, with Flamita and Arez hitting stereo moonsaults to the floor (that was sweet). Bandido and Kid get caught in stereo surfboards on the floor for the big running flip dive from Loco. ASF is sent outside as well, only to get launched over the top for the crash back inside (cool).

Flamita follows him back in for two, with ASF climbing Flamita to armdrag Loco. Bandido’s team is back in with stereo superkicks into stereo headscissors to the floor. The not quite stereo dives take out Loco and company but ASF and Kid miss missile dropkicks back inside. Flamita and Bandido are left alone for a big staredown, with Flamita kicking him down and hitting a huge frog splash.

ASF hits a 450 but Arez makes a save of his own. A dropkick breaks up Arez’s cover and a Death Valley Driver gets two on Flamita. It’s Bandido vs. Loco for a strike off until Bandido hits a heck of a tornado DDT. Back up and Bandido and Loco grab double electric chairs (as in Arez is on Flamita’s shoulders on Loco’s shoulders while ASF is on Kid’s shoulders on Bandido’s shoulders), leaving ASF and Arez to slug it out rather high in the air.

ASF snaps off a Canadian Destroyer (egads man) while Loco and Bandido hit powerbombs on the other two. Loco catches a charging Bandido in a Spanish Fly and everyone is down. Back up and Bandido LAUNCHES ASF over the top and into a hurricanrana on Loco. Flamita hits a dive, then Bandido hits a dive, then Kid Spanish Flies Arez off the top onto the pile. ASF and Loco seem to load up a super Canadian Destroyer but can’t get the timing right, leaving Loco to hit a regular piledriver for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: A-. The double electric chair was good enough to make this about as fun as it could have been and the rest was a bunch of insanity that you can only get in a match like this one. This kind of a match is designed to have a bunch of people flying around with one crazy spot after another and they made it work like only they can here. Bandido’s awesomeness has long since been established and it was on full display again with this one. Check this out, which you should always do with something involving these people.

Ian Riccaboni joins commentary.

Ring of Honor World Title: Blake Christian vs. Jonathan Gresham

Christian is challenging…or at least he would be if Gresham was here but we need to make a last second change. Worry not though, because we have a replacement.

Blake Christian vs. Lio Rush

Rush offers a handshake but Christian looks at him instead. They do shake left hands though and it’s an armdrag to take Rush down. Back up and Christian offers a handshake, which allows him to sunset flip Rush for two. Rush bails to the floor for a breather before heading back inside to avoid some charges.

Christian heads outside, only to pull Rush outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster gives Christian two, setting up a roll into a crucifix hold. That’s broken up and Christian misses a charge into the corner, allowing Rush to hit a spear for two. Christian is fine enough to catch him with a kick to the face on top but Rush kicks him down.

A ripcord Spanish fly drops Rush again though and a springboard 450 gives Christian two. Rush is right back with a twisting DDT and the Final Hour gets two more. They go to the apron where Rush can’t hit a German suplex to the floor. Instead they drop down, with Christian hitting a Tombstone. Back in and a 450 double stomp finishes Rush at 12:39.

Rating: B-. Take two guys and let them do their thing for about twelve minutes, which is all you needed to do here. Christian gets the win to keep him strong until he can get his title shot. Gresham being gone is rough to see but having someone like Rush as the backup worked as well as anything else. Good match, but they weren’t about to follow that six man.

We recap Matt Cardona vs. Joey Janela. Cardona married Chelsea Green but Janela faked some pictures of the two of them by a pool together, sending Cardona over the edge. The interesting thing is that Cardona is the huge heel who is mocking all things indy and trying to turn it into WWE. This has been one of the better things going on the independent scene and Cardona has had one awesome stunt after another.

The IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT sign is a great touch.

Joey Janela vs. Matt Cardona

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona….who comes out to Enter Sandman entrance (or at least a cover), turning the crowd completely upside down in about three seconds. The “IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT” shirt is an even greater touch. He also has a red flannel shirt with f*** Mick Foley on the back, while Green (with the Internet Title) is in the Zack Ryder half trunks/half tights. Cardona asks what’s up GCW Universe and takes credit for the sellout. Joey Janela didn’t do it, so tonight he’s ending Janela’s career before Tony Khan can fire him.

Cardona jumps him at the bell for two and flips off the fans. The fans get in a “F*** CARDONA/WOO WOO WOO!” chant so Janela hits a Death Valley Driver through the door. The suicide dive takes out Cardona on the floor and it is time for Janela to chair him down. A top rope flip dive sends Janela crashing through the chair though and Cardona gets to chair him down. Green pulls the chair away though and kicks Cardona low for a big surprise.

Janela goes up, only to get crotched by Green because it was a ruse. Cardona shows off the cup he was wearing but Janela is fine enough to hit a superplex to put them both down. Janela grabs the title, but here is Smart Mark Sterling (of AEW fame) to say that if Janela uses the title, he’s disqualified. Commentary: “But it’s GCW!” He brings out someone who is very influential in Cardona’s career, so here is someone in a Vince McMahon mask. It’s Vincent/Virgil though, and the distraction lets Sterling grab Janela.

The belt shot takes Sterling down by mistake though and a Death Valley Driver sends Cardona into the ring frame. Cue Swoggle to post Janela but here is a huge guy named Sam Stackhouse to take Swoggle out. Now it’s Marko Stunt to throw a chair at Swoggle’s head but Cardona takes him down as well. Janela brings in a pair of doors, with Swoggle and Cardona being put through one each.

Green hits Stunt with the belt and gives him a Canadian Destroyer, leaving Cardona to AA Janela through an open chair for a near fall. Cardona loads up two doors, which really does take too long so Janela takes him out. Green’s latest interference earns herself a piledriver so here is a guy in a motorcycle helmet. That would be Brian Myers, who decks Janela and helps Cardona hit a middle rope Radio Silence through the door for the pin at 19:39.

Rating: B-. It was a bit long, but this was a lot of fun with Cardona playing a perfect troll. Cardona knows how to make these people nuts by doing everything they don’t like and now he gets to take out another one of their heroes. The big flaw here is that the match went too long and you could have cut out a good portion in the middle which was more about several other people other than Janela vs. Cardona. This was all about Cardona putting together something else to get people to care about him though, as he continues to be one of the more creative people in wrestling.

Post match Sean Waltman of all people comes in and takes out Cardona before posing with Janela. I’m sold on getting to hear The Kings again.

Here is the injured Mance Warner for a chat. He talks about how awesome GCW’s locker room and entire crew is and thanks the fans for getting them here. Cue Atticus Cougar (pronounced Co-Gar) to say 44OH are the real outlaws around here. Cougar doesn’t like Warner’s Second Gear Crew so Warner is ready to fight.

44OH comes in for the beatdown, with Matthew Justice (Warner’s partner) coming in for the failed save attempt. The lights go off (BECAUSE WRESTLING!) and it’s Bill Alfonso and Sabu making the save. Chairs to the head put 44OH down and we actually get a pin, with Fonzie counting. Pantera’s Walk plays because ECW.

Video on Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho. Katch talks about divine destiny, meaning that if something is meant to happen, it will happen no matter what. That seems to be the case with this match, as she runs into SOHO painted on a wall. Katch was billed as a big deal during Brett Lauderdale’s pre-show speech so she means something. I don’t remember her being much more than someone who did cat-esque things as Allie Kat but maybe things have changed.

Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho

They shake hands to start and Soho armdrags her down early on. The threat of the Riott Kick is blocked early on but so is Katch’s piledriver. That’s fine with Allie, who hits a basement dropkick for an early two. Soho is sent into the corner and it’s a running hip attack into a Cannonball for two more.

They trade kicks to the face with Soho getting rocked, only to be able to come back with a German suplex for the double knockdown. Katch takes too long going up top though and gets armdragged back down for a quick two. The Riott Kick connects for two on Katch but she’s right back with a knee into the piledriver for two of her own. With that not working, Katch loads up a super piledriver, which is countered into a Riott Kick from the middle rope to give Soho the pin at 9:31.

Rating: C. I’d hope that Katch can do more than this as it felt like any other match. This came off like a match where a star was making a guest appearance in the territory with the story of the popular star getting a shot. It wasn’t bad, but there was absolutely nothing special to this and it just came and went.

We recap Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy. Jarrett doesn’t like GCW calling themselves outlaws because he is the Last Outlaw. There has to be a huge stable out there of people who have been THE LAST OUTLAW. There have also been guitar shots to show you how serious this has been.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy

Effy pulls $20 out of his trunks, which the referee throws to the floor. They go with the basics to start, with Jarrett powering him into the corner. Effy’s spins to get out of a wristlock don’t work so Effy drops to his knee, which freaks Jeff out for a bit. Some shots to the ribs set up a modified Tarantula but Jarrett is back with a clothesline. They head outside with Jarrett whipping him with the belt (which seems to draw a DADDY LIKES IT chant).

Back in and it’s time for more whipping and choking, which seems to make Effy smile. Jarrett uses the belt to tie Effy in the corner, which doesn’t exactly last long. Effy is back with more rights and lefts, setting up a faceplant for two. Now it’s Effy getting to whip away but he misses a Blockbuster. The guitar takes too long for Jarrett though so Effy pulls off his fishnets for some choking. That’s too much for Jarrett, who hits him with the guitar and grabs the Stroke for the pin at 11:15.

Rating: D+. I’ve heard a lot of good things about Effy and I’m going to assume that a lot of it is due to his promos and character work, because he wasn’t doing much in the ring here. All he had was a bunch of punches and a missed Blockbuster, which isn’t exactly stealing the show. That being said, Jarrett winning is a good bit weird, as he is the second outsider in a row to beat a signature GCW name on their biggest night ever. Not a great match, but you can see how much bigger of a star Jarrett is than most of the roster. If nothing else, seeing someone who seems like he knows how to put a match together is almost a rarity around here.

GCW World Title: Homicide vs. Jon Moxley

Homicide is challenging after winning a Rumble last month. The fans chant F*** BULLY RAY to start, which has to make Moxley smile a bit. They forearm/slap it out to start before going face to face. Homicide sends him outside but the dive is cut off with a shot to the face. The fight heads outside with Homicide biting away, only to get sent shoulder first into the post.

Moxley cranks on the fingers and hits a piledriver for two For some reason Moxley goes up but it’s a super cutter to bring him back down. They trade clotheslines until Moxley grabs the Paradigm Shift for two. Moxley hammers away and Homicide seems to lose a tooth. A chair is wedged in the corner but Homicide cuts him off and strikes away. The chair is on the mat and it’s another Paradigm Shift onto said chair to give Moxley two more. Homicide flips him off and bites Moxley’s face, only to get blasted with a lariat. The lifting Paradigm Shift onto the open chair retains Moxley’s title at 11:32.

Rating: C. That’s it? This was so short that I thought I missed part of the match, as I would have bet on it going a good bit longer than Jarrett vs. Effy. Maybe that is the result of ring rust from Moxley, or just time constraints from the pay per view, but this wasn’t exactly great. It worked while it lasted, but it just didn’t last very long.

Video on the Briscoes, who are issuing an open challenge for the Tag Team Titles. Most signs would suggest that this is going to be FTR, but you never know around here.

Tag Team Titles: Briscoes vs. ???/???

The Briscoes are defending against….Nick Gage/Matt Tremont. Well you knew Gage would be on here somehow. Gage puts Nick through the door in the corner to start and it’s time for a duel of the chairs. Mark and Nick trade pieces of door shots to the head but Jay breaks up the pizza cutter. Tremont gets beaten down and the Froggy Bow onto a door gets two on Gage. Back up and Tremont hits a release Rock Bottom to plant Jay and Gage hits a middle rope piledriver on Mark. The chokebreaker gives Gage the pin and the titles at 5:35.

Rating: D. That was a Nick Gage match alright, but this time he had a huge partner to do some really basic stuff too. I know why Gage had to be on the show but it isn’t like his matches are much to see. It’s the feel good moment of the show, though having it come in a five minute match didn’t do the show many favors.

Post match Gage swears a lot and puts over his gang while bragging about how far GCW came. The locker room comes in to celebrate and we’re out.

Overall Rating: D+. One of the shows you are probably going to see this compared to is Barely Legal. While it is nowhere near that important (or good), there is one thing that does stand out. My biggest issue with Barely Legal was the lack of an explanation of why Sabu and Taz hated each other. It was the “Grudge Match of the Century” but we were never told why they were fighting. The ECW fans knew, but Barely Legal wasn’t just a show for the ECW fans.

Now do that for three hours and you have this show. There was barely anything explaining who these people were, what they were doing here, why they were fighting or ANYTHING about them. Cardona vs. Janela had a bit of backstory, but this felt like the game plan was “just keep doing what we’ve been doing (minus the deathmatch stuff, which isn’t their fault)”. It was a show that you either got or didn’t get, with GCW not offering much in the way of guidance.

On top of that, the wrestling was hit and miss at best. Everything felt rushed and very little really stood out. The lucha match was great, but you could get one of those a week on Ring of Honor. Cardona is excellent at riffing on independent wrestling, but then he won, just like Soho over what seems to be the big female star around here. This show didn’t do a thing to make me more interested in GCW and as the big debut on the national stage, it was a pretty hard miss.

 

 

 

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rSpring Break
Date: April 9, 2021
Location: Cuban Club, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Emil Jay, Kevin Gill

This is arguably the indy weekend main event and the show is hit and miss to say the least. You never know what you are going to see at something like this and that could go multiple ways. I’ve had a good time at these things before, but those were all the Joey Janela versions. Janela is on the card, but his name is no longer on the show. Let’s get to it.

No entrances or anything, as tends to be the case with a show like this.

Dave Penzer is ring announcer. Well that’s an upgrade.

Starboy Charlie vs. Billie Starkz

Charlie just turned 18 and is billed at 145lbs, which commentary says is AFTER he put some size on. Tony Deppen joins commentary because he worked with both of them before and wanted to see the match. Fair enough reason. In your “that’s not normal” stat, Gill says that Billie is closer in age to his four and a half month old son that she is to Gill himself. Feeling out process to start and they go to the mat for the technical off.

Charlie works on a hammerlock but gets leveraged outside without much effort. Back in and Charlie can’t get a Sharpshooter so Billie kicks him in the head. They trade some rollups for two each until Charlie snaps off an armdrag to take over. A dropkick into a standing shooting star press (Deppen: “If I did that, I’d throw my back out.”) gets two on Billie, who blocks the third Amigo.

Billie rolls some German suplexes, giving us the now ultra rare Chris Benoit name drop. Back up and Charlie gets sent into the corner for a kick to the face and an Ocean Cycle suplex (electric chair dropped backwards into something close to a German suplex) gets two. The eternally teased German suplex off the apron continues to be teased but Charlie takes her down in the corner.

The running corkscrew moonsault gets two and Charlie sends her flying with a t-bone suplex. They trade shots to the face for a double knockdown and a breather. Back up again and Charlie suplexes her into the Tree of Woe, setting up the running boot. Billie gets her knees up to block a 450, only to miss a Swanton. They glare at each other a bit until Charlie snaps off a Michinoku Driver (dropping Billie on her head) for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C. This was action packed but a VERY indy style match. You could feel that they were trying to figure out where to go next after each spot because it didn’t have much of a flow. It was certainly entertaining, but these two need a lot more seasoning (fair enough given their age). That being said, opening a show like this is a good thing for them as the more ring time they get is going to help them out.

Post match 44OH (Bobby Beverly/Eric Ryan) come in for the double beatdown. That means we need a save, and probably a tag match.

44OH vs. Ironbeast

Ironbeast is KTB/Shane Mercer and this feels like a hoss fight. Mercer picks both of them up to start and KTB comes off the top with a high crossbody for the big crash. KTB feeds Beverly back inside for a powerbomb (over the ropes) to plant him down hard. That’s not enough as Only is put on KTB’s shoulders so Mercer can superplex him into the middle. It’s time for the doors but KTB takes too long and gets knocked outside.

Back in and Mercer gets double teamed with forearms to the back and kicks to the face. A tiger driver gets two on KTB but Mercer breaks up the drive through the table. Beverly Cannonballs Mercer against (not through) the table but KTB sends Only through the table without much effort. KTB hits a big dive to take Beverly out on the floor, leaving Mercer to take Only up.

That means a super gorilla press, dropped into a super flipping World’s Strongest Slam (good freaking grief). That’s not it either as KTB adds a powerbomb before throwing Only into a bridging German suplex to give Mercer (ignore his shoulders being down too) for the pin at 6:49.

Rating: C+. Nearly total destruction here, with 44OH (modern names can be really dumb) only getting in a little bit in the middle. Ironbeast is great for a team at this level, as they can do all of their crazy athletic power stuff without giving up much of anything. This was fun and completely different from the opener, which is what you expect on a show like this one.

Penzer says he’s old so Emil Jay can handle the rest of the announcing. Well that’s a downgrade.

Arez/Gringo Loco/Black Taurus vs. Aramis/Dragon Bane/Laredo Kid

Lucha rules of course and yeah I’m going to get lost in a hurry. The latter team comes out to Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz so they can’t be all bad (or they might not be bad at all). Loco drives Laredo into the corner to start and takes him down with a test of strength. Commentary talks about how this could be similar to what used to happen on Monday Nitro as a great introduction to lucha libre. If you’re watching GCW Spring Break, you know lucha libre and probably most of these people.

Loco cartwheels his way out of a headscissors and we get a staredown. A front flip lets Loco flip off his opponents and everyone comes in for the big staredown. Aramis and company snap off a bunch of headscissors to the floor with Arez getting knocked onto Taurus’ shoulders. That’s fine with Kid and Aramais, who hit stereo suicide dives for the double knockdowns.

Back in and a triple 450 has the villains (I think?) in more trouble but Arez scores with three straight tilt-a-whirl backbreakers. Aramis is fine enough to drop Arez onto the turnbuckle but Loco and Taurus are back in to take over with the triple teaming. Kid’s crazy high springboard is speared out of the air and Loco adds a heck of a moonsault for two. Bane’s save doesn’t work either and the triple stomping ensues.

Somehow he’s fine enough to kick Loco in the head and grab a spinning DDT on Taurus for a breather. Taurus isn’t having that and clotheslines a bunch of people but Bane and Aramais save Kid from something on top. That’s fine for the good guys, who hit a crazy stereo triple dive from the top to the floor. Back in and Aramis chops it out with Arez until Bane hits a brainbuster onto the knee.

Taurus kicks Bane in the head and drops him with a torture rack backbreaker, leaving Loco to hit a super Falcon Arrow to plant Aramis. Kid hits back to back moonsaults on Loco but Arez makes the save. A belly to back backbreaker gets two on Kid and it’s a double Old School, until Kid snaps off a springboard hurricanrana to drop Arez because of course they can do that. Loco walks the ropes for a flying cutter, leaving Aramis to hit a poisonrana on Taurus.

Since they haven’t gone insane enough, Loco puts Aramis on his shoulders with Kid on Aramis’ shoulders for a super cutter from Arez, because DANG. Taurus plants Aramis with a pop up Samoan drop and another one plants Bane. Aramis is back up with a very, very, very long spinning torture rack to Bane, which lasts so long that Kid can beat up Loco and go up top for a moonsault frog splash onto Arez and Bane can hit a springboard corkscrew dive onto Taurus. After THIRTY EIGHT SECONDS of spinning, Armais powerbombs Arez for the pin at 13:46.

Rating: B. Yep, what else are you expecting here? These matches are not designed to be anything more than a crazy exchange of spots coming one after another. There is no way to call something like this other than just listing stuff because these matches are not supposed to have any kind of a story. I had a blast with this though as I kept saying “sure why not” because people shouldn’t be able to do this kind of stuff. Awesome fun.

Post match the money is thrown into the ring to keep with tradition.

Joey Janela has sent Jordan Oliver a creepy Lio Rush tape. Then someone slips a note under Oliver’s door with the date of this show written on it.

Jordan Oliver vs. Lio Rush

Oliver is still called Big Breakfast and I still don’t know why. Rush has a very over the top entrance, with some kind of a contortionist moving around a lot to a rather slow song. Then Rush staggers out to what sounds like a rap he is performing himself and is called the Blackheart. The (few) fans are split before the bell and commentary talks about how they’re scared of this version of Rush.

They stare each other down for over a minute before Oliver kicks him out to the floor. Oliver’s suicide cutter drops Rush hard and we need a breather as they both have to get back up. A standing choke doesn’t get Oliver very far as Rush hits him in the face again. Oliver puts him in a chair and gets a running start around the ring, which takes far too long and lets Rush nail a jumping knee to the face. To mix things up, Rush puts him in the chair and hits his own running dive, which actually connects.

Back in and Rush hammers away, including a boot to the face in the corner. An ax kick gives Rush two so let’s bring in a door (which commentary thinks might be FORBIDDEN). Hold on though as Rush needs to stop and yell at a fan, allowing Oliver to strike away. Some kicks to the head rock Oliver but he’s fine enough to suplex Rush hard through the door for two.

It’s time for another door but Oliver takes too long and gets caught with rolling German suplexes. An overhead belly to belly sends Oliver through the door for a slightly delayed two as commentary doesn’t exactly get emotional with these near falls. Back up and the standing C4 cuts off Oliver’s comeback attempt as commentary hypes up Oliver being undefeated in GCW this year.

A superplex to the floor is broken up and a double knockdown puts them outside at the same time. Back in and they go with the big slugout, with commentary bringing up Karate Fighters. Oliver’s tiger driver gets two and a running kick to the face is good for the same. With Rush down, it’s time for more furniture, this time in the form of doors and chairs. Two of the doors are laid over a quartet of chairs at ringside but Rush stares at Oliver to….I guess possess him?

Either way, Oliver forearms him for two with Rush bridging up for the kickout. Rush is right back with some more rolling German suplexes but Oliver rolls through the last one and grabs a German suplex of his own. Oliver sends him to the apron, where Rush (barely) muscles him over for the Falcon Arrow outside through the doors. Back in and Rush takes WAY too long to set up a frog splash (Oliver was half sitting up) and dives into a cutter.

A springboard cutter gets a very close two on Rush and we get the big shocked face. Another cutter (without much impact) drops Rush onto the apron and they’re both down on the floor again. That’s only good for two back inside with Rush bridging up for the kickout again. Oliver loads up a super cutter but gets shoved off, allowing Rush to nail the frog splash. Something close to a Gargano Escape makes Oliver tap at 22:24.

Rating: B-. This was a very indy style big match, with the tables and a bunch of different versions of the same move. Rush is a bigger star, but Oliver has gotten a lot out of this whole weekend. Given that this loss makes him 3-1 on the day, it is pretty clear that he is putting in the ring time to get a good deal of experience. He is a long way from being signed by a big promotion, but this kind of match will get him some needed notice.

Atticus Cougar (great name, though apparently it is pronounced “Co-Gar”) talks about being a Masada fan since he was a kid and now he’s facing Masada in a death (erg) match. This match has been one of his top priorities and now it is time to prove himself. At some point, Cougar used Masada’s signature skewers on Masada’s head, which seems to be an act of war.

Atticus Cougar vs. Masada

Death match with commentary promising a lot of violence. There are weapons, including barbed wire, all around the ring to start. The brawl is on to start with Masada sending Cougar into a skewer board in the corner. Masada finds a piece of a broken door but Cougar kicks him in the face to break it up. A suicide dive is countered into a belly to back drop onto the apron and Masda doors him. Part of the door is raked over Cougar’s head but he is right back with some kendo stick shots.

Masada is back with a bed of toothpicks, which he puts on Cougar’s back and pounds it in. Said board is raked over Cougar’s head to draw the blood and then pulls some toothpicks out of his back. Something that looks like a kendo stick to the head knocks Cougar down again and it’s time for the skewers to the head. Cougar manages to dropkick him into a skewer covered board in the corner, some of which are then pounded into Masada’s head.

They fight outside where Masada can’t hit a powerbomb so Cougar gets in a shot to the face. Back in and the door is set onto two chairs, but first Cougar stabs him in the shoulder with the skewers. Masada is back with some mini skewers into Cougar’s head (where they stick) and now the powerbomb through the door gets two. The skewers go into Cougar’s mouth for another stomping and that means it’s time for a breather (and skewer removal) on the floor. A few fans try an ULTRAVIOLENCE chant as both guys stand around for a bit.

Back in and Masada grabs a powerbomb into the STF but Cougar uses a piece of wood to the hand to break it up. Cougar’s top rope double stomp gives him his own two so he puts Masada on a chair. It takes too long for him to go up top though and Masada is right there, only to get caught with a super headlock driver onto a chair. Say it with me: for two.

Cougar whips out a board with a gusset plate attached but Masada takes it away and hits him in the arm. A Death Valley Driver gets two and Masada drives said plate into the arm. Cougar hits him low and puts more skewers into the head, setting up the headlock driver to drive the skewers even further in, again, for two. A low superkick sets up a third headlock driver to finally finish Masada at 18:40.

Rating: D-. Somehow, this featured more wrestling than usual in these matches, though that didn’t exactly make it better. This was more mindless carnage and violence with all of the blood they could manage, but they used the skewers so it was awesome (allegedly). As usual, they weren’t exactly building to anything here and kept repeating the same weapons over and over. Yeah they used skewers earlier, but now they’re using them AGAIN! More nonsense and thankfully we get to move on.

Rich Swann vs. Lee Moriarty

Ok this could be good. Swann’s entrance has the fans dancing for a cool visual, with commentary talking about how wrestling brings people together and Twitter tears them apart. I guess we’re to ignore him asking fans to get the show trending on Twitter before the match. Moriarty comes in with taped up ribs and they go technical to start, including an exchange of armdrags.

Both of them try dropkicks at the same time and it’s an early standoff. They trade some flips until Swann hits the dropkick to take over for the first time. An armbar brings Moriarty back to his feet and he grabs a Codebreaker onto the arm. Swann needs a breather on the floor so Moriarty goes after him to sent the arm into various things. Back in and the arm is sent into the corner as commentary talks about the (pretty good) For The Culture show late last night.

Swann grabs a neckbreaker for a breather and the rolling splash gets two. Moriarty is right back on the arm and snaps off a heck of a DDT for two of his own. A double underhook tiger driver drops Swann again but he’s back up with a one armed handspring cutter for a very near fall. The frog splash gets two more so it’s time for the big slugout.

An exchange of kicks to the head puts both of them down and the fans are pleased. They go to a pinfall reversal sequence for multiple two’s each until Moriarty grabs a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up as well so Moriarty keeps hold of the arm and nails a lariat for another two. Moriarty takes him up top, where Swann bites the bad ribs (that’s a new one) to take him back down. The 450 finishes for Swann at 12:14.

Rating: B-. Oh sure, these two can only get twelve minutes while a fight over skewers to the head gets nearly twenty. Swann winning is completely fine, though Moriarty continues to be one of the real stars of the weekend. He is going to get a good chance somewhere in the future and matches like this one are only going to make it happen faster.

Chris Dickinson talks about how Joey Janela has been living off of his reputation for years now. He isn’t going to stand for Janela turning wrestling into a circus and now it is time to knock some sense into Janela. The snake’s head is coming off and Janela better come ready to go. Dickinson loves him though.

Chris Dickinson vs. Joey Janela

Janela is in Bam Bam Bigelow inspired gear and they go straight at it with the slugout. Dickinson grabs a powerbomb and then throws in a second to make it worse. Commentary recaps the feud here: they were stablemates and Janela agreed to put up the naming rights for the show for a World Title shot, where Dickinson turned on him, presumably for being too goofy. I’ve heard worse ideas. Dickinson throws in a door, which he breaks in some smaller pieces to go after Janela’s head.

With Janela busted open, Dickinson drives the wood into his head even more, as a proper monster should. The rest of the door goes onto Janela’s head and a running basement dropkick drives the door into him again. A half nelson suplex plants Janela for two so Dickinson takes him up top. It’s desperation time though and Janela grabs a top rope superplex for the much needed breather. Janela stomps away in the corner but Dickinson is back with some hard rolling German suplexes.

Somehow Janela pops back up with a roaring elbow for two of his own, setting up a broken door over the head. Dickinson suplexes him down again as commentary talks about Dickinson getting annoyed at putting in the effort while Janela gets everything handed to him. Dickinson heads outside and asks for a chair so the fans throw in a few dozen, with commentary being VERY against this, as they should be.

A chair to the head in the corner rocks Janela but he comes back with a superkick and DDT (yep, it’s an indy match). Dickinson clotheslines the heck out of him and they’re both down for a double breather. They head up top again, with Janela fighting out of another superplex attempt and hits a tornado DDT onto the pile of chairs. Dickinson rolls outside though, as this needs to keep going. A suicide dive sends the now bleeding Dickinson down again (Commentary: “Dickinson is F*****!”) and a top rope double stomp onto the chest gives Janela two back inside.

Janela blasts him in the head with a chair but Dickinson wants more. The delay lets Dickinson go low, setting up Death Valley Driver onto a chair for one (of course). They slug it out until Janela grabs his own Death Valley Driver for two. Dickinson catches him on top with a super Razor’s Edge toss for two more. Therefore, let’s bring in a ladder and a door, though Dickinson is smart enough to pause for a running boot to Janela’s head.

The really big ladder is set up in the corner and Dickinson bridges the door over four chairs. Janela comes back with a low blow and chair shot before climbing up. Dickinson meets him on top though and it’s a super Death Valley Driver through the door, say it with me, for two. The fans chant for JOEY KICKOUT as Dickinson is favoring his knee. The knee is good enough for some dragon screw legwhips to drop Janela, who shrugs it off to grab a Figure Four. Dickinson almost turns it over but finally taps at 21:57.

Rating: C. It was violent (with the blood thankfully only being a focus at the beginning) and it did tell a story of Janela fighting back against the powerhouse, but EGADS the kickouts were insane. That seems to be Janela’s thing and it works with this audience, though that doesn’t quite make it the easiest thing to watch. The action and high spots were good, but the eye rolling over the kickouts brought it right back down, as tends to be the case with these matches.

Post match Dickinson pulls himself up so Janela offers a handshake, only to have Dickinson spit in his hands and walk away. Janela says he’s back in GCW and gets a rather limited reaction. Some of the fans do seem to like him though, with commentary saying it means the internet doesn’t matter. They then tell us to go get GCW merch online.

Effy vs. Gregory Iron

Iron is a wrestler with cerebral palsy and has Virgil of all people (you knew he would pop up somewhere) with him. Ring announcer: “Being accompanied to the ring by……VIRGIL???”. Iron gives Virgil a big introduction, dubbing him a Spring Break Hall of Famer and the newest member of 44OH. This is billed as Brunch vs. B****, with Effy putting up the naming rights to his Big Gay Brunch (the actual title). Effy’s entrance lets commentary talk about how little Effy cares about what anyone thinks of him and how he is for everyone. He gets in Virgil’s face to start but Virgil has a bottle of vodka.

The distraction lets Iron get in some chair shots to take over in a hurry as commentary wonders how Virgil got that bottle (which is apparently for drinking, not product placement). Effy comes back with some chops in the corner as commentary wonders what Iron would serve at his brunch. Iron is back with a Thesz press and shots to the face as we talk about Iron appearing on Steve Austin’s podcast.

Something like a reverse Fameasser out of the corner gives Effy two, which has Virgil fairly disinterested (as he stands on the apron instead of the floor). A Codebreaker gets Iron out of trouble but Effy grabs a sunset flip and pulls Iron’s trunks down in the process. There’s a backsplash for two on Iron, whose trunks are still down so Effy gives it some spanks.

Virgil comes in for a distraction so Iron can get in a low blow, only to have Virgil hit him in the head with the vodka bottle by mistake (with Virgil flinching before hitting him to make it look pretty awful). Hold on though as Effy grabs some scissors to cut off Virgil’s 44OH shirt to reveal an Effy shirt. The fans are pleased as Iron (still with the trunks down) gets powerbombed for the pin at 5:59.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure how much drama there was here and the match was more about comedy with some action thrown in. Effy seems to be a fan favorite and Iron seems to be quite the nasty heel, so the story worked out well enough. The problem is that it wasn’t very good and felt like a low level TV main event more than anything else. Granted I can appreciate that as we are almost at three hours on this show.

Post match Effy pulls Iron’s trunks back up, making him even more of a face.

A scafflold has to be built for the main event so here are some commercials.

Video on Rickey Shane Page vs. Nick Gage, with Page saying he came here, stole Gage’s manhood and title, so now it’s time to do it one more time.

We pause for a good while to put up enough light tubes to make half of a cage.

GCW World Title: Rickey Shane Page vs. Nick Gage

Page (apparently the leader of 44OH) is defending and it’s a deathmatch with nearly an hour to go in the show (oh boy). The entrances take the better part of ever as commentary REALLY hypes up the war between Gage and 44OH. Gage gets his Big Match Intro and then jumps Page with a light tube during his own, because Gage isn’t that nice. Page is whipped into a wall of light tubes and it’s time for Gage to stab him in the back with a piece of broken tube.

Another whip into the corner sends Page through a sheet of glass and Gage shrugs off a whip into tubes. The Facewash into the light tubes hits Page in the corner as Page is already busted badly. Gage can’t quite get out of the ring but eventually manages a springboard backsplash to drive him through a barbed wire/glass board. Some fans hold up chairs so Gage can send him face first into them as commentary talks about the glory that is Nick Gage. Page is finally able to score with a light tube of his own (my goodness it feels dumb to say things like this) and it’s time to gouge Gage’s forehead.

That’s a bit more than Gage is willing to sell though and Page is whipped through another glass panel. Back in and another light tube goes over Page’s head and Gage does it again for good measure. Gage gets whipped hard into the other wall of light tubes and Page breaks another one over Gage’s face. A comeback is countered with a backdrop over the top and through another sheet of glass, with Gage nearly landing on his head.

Page starts going after Gage’s injured ankle (which has been a problem for months) before taking him to the apron for a toss suplex through a bed of light tubes. That’s only good for two back inside, because it’s only been about 50 light tubes so far. Gage is a bit blinded from….well everything really, and hits the referee by mistake (BECAUSE A REFEREE MATTERS SO MUCH IN THIS THING) setting up a DDT and spinebuster. Another light tube connects with Page’s head and then Gage uses a jagged piece of tube to start carving MDK into Page’s back.

Page climbs the scaffold and here is Gregory Iron to slow Gage down. That earns him a piledriver onto various pieces of glass as Effy comes out to take care of Iron. Cue more 44OH members to go after Gage, with Page directing traffic while down on the scaffold. A table is loaded up and here’s a big package of light tubes wrapped around whatever is inside the thing.

44OH takes forever to load up more glass so here are Joey Janela and some more guys (to Walk by Pantera, making me think that that we were getting a Rob Van Dam cameo) to even things up. Gage gets up and points at Page on top of the scaffold, with Gage following (as we hear a production worker talking about having Gage’s music ready).

Page is tossed through the glass and most of the tubes, completely missing the table they are on. The rest of the tubs are smashed over Page’s back as we have a new referee. Gage finishes carving the M into Page’s back but gets hit low, setting up a chokebreaker for two. The referee gets a chokebreaker as well so here is Atticus Cougar to load up ANOTHER sheet of glass over some chairs.

Some skewers go into Gage’s head and now it’s time to put more chairs and another sheet of glass onto the first sheet of glass. Cue promoter Brett Lauderdale to hit Cougar with some tubes, allowing Gage to powerbomb himself through the two sheets (with Page landing on the mat and Gage going through everything) for two. A chokebreaker gives Gage the title back at 24:37.

Rating: D-. Ignoring the rather sickening worship of Gage by commentary, the insane blood, all of the interference and the ridiculous amount of missed spots, this was full of a lot of the same problems you often have from a deathmatch: it was so repetitive that none of it had any impact. See, they used a light tube, but then they used like A HUNDRED light tubes. They put him through a sheet of glass? Well how awesome would it be if they did it five times??? This was a big story for this audience, but dang these things are not for me and the actual content of the matches is one of the least problems.

Post match Lauderdale hands Gage some spray paint so he can paint MDK on the old belt (which had been painted by Page). Hold on though as some music plays and we have Jon Moxley for the big staredown with Gage. They go nose to nose, with some of Gage’s blood getting on Moxley’s face. Moxley goes to leave but Gage shouts some expletives and now the fight is on (like Donkey Kong, according to commentary).

Moxley lays him out with the Paradigm Shift and then hits another onto the light tubes. Gage is down so Moxley gets to pose a lot and leaves, with Gage popping back up because he doesn’t stay down. Gage asks where his motherf****** gang is and calls Moxley a variety of bad names. He thanks the fans for having his back and worrying about him while he was out with an injury.

What matters is that he is the best deathmatch wrestler in the world and he and Moxley will have a REAL deathmatch. Everything around here is real and none of these weapons are fake so we’ll see who is really tough. Gage hits the catchphrase, wants one of his friends let out of prison, and hits the catchphrase again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The thing that needs to be understood here is that there are a lot of good matches on here. A lot of this stuff had nothing to do with the violence or the hardcore and was just about having some solid action. They had a good mixture of action with various kinds of wrestling and a lot of it is watchable at best and very entertaining at worst.

Then you have the deathmatch stuff and simply put, you’re either into it or you’re not and there isn’t much of a middle ground. One thing that does help is that (possible quality aside), there is certainly a main story going on through GCW, with 44OH seemingly feuding with most of the promotion. That’s fine for a story to have going on and it does seem like the deathmatches were set up, but they’re absolutely not my thing and it brings the rest of the show down. If you’re into some rather watchable indy stuff, this is absolutely worth a look, but you might want to have the fast forward ready for two of the longer matches.

 

 

 

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