Impact Wrestling – August 31, 2023: There’s A Lot To Do

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 31, 2023
Location: Rebel Entertainment Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Emergence and Bound For Glory is starting to appear over the horizon. Before we get there though, we have Victory Road and Impact 1000 to cover and at least one of those shows has some special names already announced. Tonight will probably see some more names and matches set for those shows, while we also get the Emergence fallout. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Emergence recap.

Knockouts Battle Royal

Gisele Shaw, Killer Kelly, KiLynn King, Courtney Rush, Masha Slamovich, Jody Threat, Alisha Edwards, Vanna Black, Savannah Evans, Jessicka

For the Knockouts Title shot and they start fast with the brawling around the ring. Edwards and Black tease an early alliance but get beaten up by the Death Dollz. MK Ultra gets rid of Black for the first elimination and Evans/Shaw toss Kelly and Slamovich. Rush is out as well, with Shaw going out around the same time.

Jessicka is eliminated as well (onto the ramp, which counts as the floor) and Evans follows, leaving us with King and Threat to slug it out. King Neutralizes Threat but the King’s Curse is countered, allowing Threat to hit a German suplex. Then Alisha comes in to eliminate both of them because she was never eliminated (erg) for the win at 7:07.

Rating: C-. Not much of a battle royal here with the always annoying “oh, you forgot this one” ending. Edwards getting the short term title shot is fine as it isn’t like Victory Road is the place for some kind of title showdown. That being said, I don’t remember the last time Impact held a traditional battle royal and that helps this feel so much more fresh.

We look at Steve Maclin returning at Emergence and going after Josh Alexander’s recently repaired tricep, allowing Moose to beat Alexander.

Alexander takes blame for the loss and apologizes to the Motor City Machine Guns. He wants the World Title back and Alex Shelley doesn’t like Alexander touching the belt. Shelley tells him to earn a shot so Shelley can show him he’s not a transitional champion. That works for Alexander, so here are the Rascalz to mock the Guns, with a singles match set for tonight.

Alisha Edwards celebrates with Eddie Edwards and declares themselves the power couple of Impact. Oh and she’ll win the title.

Crazzy Steve vs. Mike Bailey

Steve wears a mask to the ring and has a much creepier entrance, which leaves Tom Hannifan a little disturbed. Steve goes for the eyes to start and that’s a DQ at 16 seconds.

Post match Steve goes after the referee before whipping out a fork to go for Bailey’s eyes again. Cue Black Taurus to try and calm Steve down but Steve goes after Taurus’ eyes as well. Steve goes for security’s eyes as well. This was more good stuff from Steve.

Brian Myers brags about Moose and Eddie Edwards winning at Emergence. They’re ready for a six man tag tonight. Bully Ray comes in to tell Eddie to leave because they have a problem with PCO. Myers: “No, you have a problem with PCO.” With Moose and Myers gone, PCO can be heard screaming in the background.

Will Ospreay will be at Turning Point and Bound For Glory.

PCO almost catches up to Bully Ray, who catches him in a door. PCO shouts about how Ray tried to kill him, but Ray calls him Carl and says he wants the man back, not the monster.

Eric Young vs. Kon

No Deaner after an attack at Emergence. Young knocks him into the corner and hammers away. A spinebuster plants Young for two and Kon gets to slowly pound away. Back up and Young scores with some right hands, only to be tossed out to the floor in a big crash as we take a break. We come back with Kon grabbing a nerve hold but Young fights up again. Kon misses a charge in the corner and Young hits the Death Valley Driver for two.

Young’s top rope elbow gets the same but the piledriver is easily blocked. The full nelson slam gives Kon two but Young clotheslines him to the floor, setting up the big dive. There’s a piledriver on the floor to drop Kon again, only to have him beat the count at nine (erg). Back in and Young hits another piledriver for the pin at 13:01.

Rating: C. It really is amazing how much easier the Design is to take when Deaner isn’t involved. Kon isn’t much better and is a rather generic big guy but he doesn’t have the bad things that drag Deaner down. This was a passable match, even if Young didn’t do much other than punch for the first half.

Lio Rush doesn’t know why Chris Sabin wants another shot at him. Maybe his brain is still scrambled, but pick the time. Kushida comes up with his Ultimate X and says Victory Road.

Jordynne Grace is coming back at Victory Road.

Deonna Purrazzo is upset at her loss to Trinity at Emergence but she has faced setbacks before. She finds it interesting that Grace is only coming back now, but maybe it’s because she lost to Purrazzo so many times. The challenge is on for Victory Road.

Zachary Wentz vs. Chris Sabin

Trey Miguel and Alex Shelley are here too. Sabin sends him outside to start and Miguel offers some advice. Back in and some armdrags into an armbar have Wentz in more trouble. A boot scrape to the eyes cuts off a comeback attempt and Sabin stays on the arm. Wentz’s arm is sent into the buckle but he’s able to send Sabin outside for a change. There’s the big dive to take Sabin down again and we take a break.

Back with Wentz kicking him in the chest for two and grabbing an armbar/neck crank. The rope gets Sabin out of trouble and a straitjacket suplex rocks Wentz again. There’s the tornado DDT for two but Wentz kicks him in the back of the head. A half nelson slam gives Wentz two and a handspring knee drops Sabin again. That doesn’t last long as Sabin is back up with a knee and they’re both down (this lasts a bit longer). Sabin pulls him into an STF but the other two get in a fight on the floor. Sabin sends Wentz outside for a suicide dive onto both Rascalz. The Cradle Shock finishes for Sabin at 14:03.

Rating: B-. I’m a bit surprised by the new champ losing, though getting beaten by Sabin is hardly a terrible upset. This should set the Guns up for a Tag Team Title shot though I’d hope they don’t win them back that fast. Other than that, you had a nice match here and it shouldn’t be a surprise given who was in there.

Post match Miguel runs in for a cheap shot on Sabin, allowing the Rascalz to bail.

We look at the Rascalz cheating to beat Subculture, with the Good Hands and ABC getting in a fight during the match.

ABC want the Tag Team Titles back but the Good Hands come in for the argument. A match seems likely.

Subculture is talking to Santino Marella about getting a rematch against the Rascalz. Sami Callihan and Rich Swann come in to say they want the title shot. The #1 contenders match is made instead. With everyone else gone, Joe Hendry and Yuya Uemura come in to say they want a title shot too. Santino thinks it’s a little too early for that.

Here are Kenny King and Sheldon Jean for a chat. King brags about his greatness and his Digital Media Title reign, including his recent title defenses. Cue Tommy Dreamer of all people to say we need to hear the REAL story of Emergence. Before King beat Johnny Swinger in the match of Swinger’s life, he heard that his father in law had passed away. Then King jumped Dreamer, as many have done before.

Swinger had to leave but he called Dreamer to check on him and everything was cool. Then he saw King and Jean at the bar, ignoring the show’s main event. Dreamer talks about how he remembered Dreamer trying to get all kinds of advice from the veterans and now this. King doesn’t care and talks about how Dreamer used to be the one with the women in the bar. Now Dreamer won’t leave so King can have the spot because he won’t let go of anything.

Dreamer says he never left early and King has never even been in a main event. Dreamer turned down millions of dollars from WWE and WCW because he believed in something and listened to people like Mick Foley and Terry Funk. Yes Dreamer is 52 years old and he looks at people like Sting and Chris Jericho or the 107 year old PCO. That makes him wonder why King doesn’t just knock them out to take the spot.

King says Dreamer doesn’t have anything he wants but Dreamer talks about losing his mom, being diagnosed with skin cancer and losing Terry Funk in the span of three months. All he has left is his career, so let’s do title vs. career at Victory Road. Dreamer leaves before King can answer. It’s an interesting story, but it’s still Dreamer and that holds things down a lot.

Awesome Kong is back at Impact 1000.

Gail Kim says if Kong is back then so is she. All past and previous Knockouts are invited back. Kim almost being summoned by the return of Kong is a cool way to go.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Steve Maclin wants to torture Josh Alexander at Victory Road. He has a target and is ready for bagging and tagging.

Moose/Brian Myers/Eddie Edwards vs. Frankie Kazarian/Jake Something/Sanada

Kazarian slugs away at Myers to start and Sanada comes in for a double suplex. Something clears the ring and we take an early break. Back with Sanada fighting out of Myers’ chinlock and firing off a string of dropkicks. The Paradise Lock doesn’t last long as Edwards drives Sanada into the corner to take over.

There’s the Blue Thunder Bomb for two on Sanada and a knee drop gets the same. Myers stomps away for two and it’s time to crank on Sanada’s face. Sanada hurricanranas his way out of a powerbomb and an enziguri staggers the heck out of Moose. It’s back to Kazarian who is happy to beat on Edwards some more. The Unprettier drops Edwards for two and stereo crossbodies put both of them down.

Something gets to come back in and clean house, including a pop up powerbomb to Moose. Back up and Moos muscles Something up for a powerbomb but gets Shining Wizarded by Sanada. Kazarian puts Myers down and crashes out to the floor with Edwards. Myers’ Roster Cut is countered into Into The Void to give Something the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B. They got rolling by the end here and it seems that they’re trying to do something with Som….yeah please change his name. Anyway, this was a good way to make Jake look like a bigger deal as not only was he in the main event but he hung in there with higher level talent. Now follow up on it and give him some more wins.

Overall Rating: B-. Not as good as last week’s awesome show but a completely acceptable two hour show. What matters here is getting some things set up for a few upcoming shows, which is hard to do when you’re coming off a big show. That being said, Impact has done this for a few months now and manage to make it work most of the time. Good show here, as they again do exactly what they need to do.

Results
Alisha Edwards on a Knockouts Battle Royal last eliminating Jody Threat
Mike Bailey b. Crazzy Steve via DQ when Steve gouged Bailey’s eyes
Eric Young b. Kon – Piledriver
Chris Sabin b. Zachary Wentz – Cradle Shock
Jake Something/Sanada/Frankie Kazarian b. Eddie Edwards/Brian Myers/Moose – Into The Void to Myers

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – August 24, 2023: Outstanding Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 24, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Multiverse United and other than some good matches, there wasn’t much taking place. Now we are on the way to Emergence and it means we need to firm up a lot of the card. The good thing is that most of the card seems to be set up and now we get to hammer home everything else. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with PCO coming to the ring to beat up Shera and Raj Singh, who had apparently talked trash on Before The Impact. The destruction doesn’t take long, including a Deanimator to put Singh through a table. Bully Ray pops up on the screen to say that he’s not leaving his hotel room, meaning PCO can’t find him. Ray says he’s the biggest star ever around here and PCO is going to learn that Ray is the one to take him out.

Opening sequence.

Trinity vs. Jody Threat

Non-title and threat takes her down into a quickly broken armbar to start. Trinity’s headlock doesn’t work either as Threat sends her hard into the corner for some clotheslines. Back up and Threat wins a slugout, only to have Trinity come back with her bulldog into the corner. It’s Threat’s chance for a comeback with a spear, followed by running knees to the back. Threat gets two off a Michinoku Driver but the F5 is countered into an X Factor to give Trinity two of her own. Something like a Bubba Bomb into a rollup finishes Threat at 5:32.

Rating: C. Trinity wasn’t about to lose on the way towards such a huge title defense so this was more about keeping her even with Deonna Purrazzo after last week. Trinity has established herself as one of the stars of the division and that is nice to see after being away from the ring for so long. Not a bad match, but it kind of came and went.

Jake Something is ready for Sanada at Emergence.

In Memory Of Terry Funk. They had to wait twenty minutes for that?

Multiverse United recap.

Josh Alexander was back in the ring for the first time in five months at Multiverse United and now he wants the World Title back. First though, he has Emergence, but he’ll be watching tonight’s World Title match.

Deaner vs. Laredo Kid

Kon is here with Deaner, who grabs a headlock to start. Kid takes it out to the floor but gets yelled at by Kon, allowing Deaner to hit a clothesline. Back in and Deaner twists the neck before sending said neck into the corner for two. A neckbreaker gets two and Deaner shouts that no one cares about Kid. I uh, wouldn’t talk much man. Deaner misses a charge in the corner and Kid gets two off a driver. Kid goes up top but dives down onto Kon (who hadn’t even done anything) instead. Back in and the Antidote finishes Kid at 4:24.

Rating: C. The action was fine but as usual, it’s almost impossible to care about Deaner’s lame….well existence really. He’s been the same “I’m crazy and evil” guy for months and it still isn’t interesting. Kid could have been anyone here and that’s a shame given how good he really has been almost every time he’s here.

Post match Deaner says that Eric Young tried to start this and it earned him a knife in the heart. Then Young decided to rise again (which apparently is something he can just do) but he doesn’t realize that Deaner is in control because HE IS THE DESIGN. Deaner: “YOU! ME! NO DQ!” Well that’s anticlimactic.

We get a video that looks like it’s from 1999 (complete with pop ups, featuring a variety of wrestling name drops) about how Johnny Swinger is ready for the Digital Media title. As usual, this was rather funny.

PCO looks for Bully Ray and screams a lot.

ABC vs. Good Hands

Before the match, John Skyler talks about how they don’t like being called Good Hands For Hire and insults Chicago a lot. Austin hammer and headlocks Skyler to start until an elbow to the face breaks that up. Hotch comes in and gets knocked away without much trouble. Bey comes in and takes Hotch down for two as things settle a bit. A kick to the back has Hotch in more trouble and we take a break.

Back with Austin cutting off Hotch to block a tag attempt but getting sent into the post for his efforts. A double elbow gets two on Austin and it’s time to work on the arm that went into the post. Skyler ties the arm up in between his own legs or some cranking. Austin’s legs are fine enough to kick his way out of trouble though and it’s back to Bey to take them both down.

A slingshot DDT gets two on Skyler and everything breaks down. Austin’s bad arm is snapped over the top and the Favor (Samoan drop/Blockbuster combination) gets two with Bey making the save. A springboard Fameasser drops Skyler again and the 1-2-Sweet finishes Hotch at 14:01.

Rating: B. This is one of the places where Impact really shines. You had two talented teams who have an issue with each other. They were given almost fifteen minutes and had a clean match with the good guys winning. It’s a great example of not making things too complicated and letting the wrestlers do their things. Very nice match here.

Subculture is ready for the Rascalz.

We get what sounds like a movie trailer for Joe Hendry and Yuya Uemura’s tag match on the Countdown to Emergence.

Video on Trinity vs. Deonna Purrazzo, including their issues with the Coven.

Samuray del Sol vs. Chris Sabin

The fans do the LUCHA dance to start and the two (the wrestlers, not the fans, as there are more than two of them) of them take time to get going. Sabin gets sent outside and then gets sent outside again, allowing Sol to flip backwards into some posing. Back in and Sabin runs him over for a change before starting in on the leg.

Sol misses an enziguri and gets pulled into an STF, sending him straight to the ropes. Sabin ties the leg up again but lets go as it’s not exactly getting him anywhere. We take a break and come back with Sabin working on something like an abdominal stretch on the mat. Sabin ties up the legs and cranks on both arms at the same time as he’s mixing up the holds tonight.

Sol is back up with a crossbody but the Salida del Sol is blocked. Sabin powerbombs him for two and rolls straight into an STF in the middle of the ring. That’s escaped as well and Sol pops up with the Salida del Sol to send Sabin outside. The springboard flip dive connects but Sol’s leg gives out back inside. That’s enough for the Cradle Shock to give Sabin the pin at 17:38.

Rating: B. Remember how the previous match was two wrestlers having a good match? What’s what they did again here and it worked, again. Sabin can wrestle with anyone and Sol showed what he could do multiple times in WWE. I could go with having him around more often and he probably earned a job here if he wants one.

We get the last part of the sitdown interview with Crazzy Steve. He talks about how Tom Rehwoldt is the best at what he does and Steve needs him to help carry his message. Steve talks about how he isn’t crazy but he’s tired of being abandoned and forgotten. If he can’t be the antidote to evil, then maybe he needs to be the plague. Tom says Steve is hurting his hand as Steve goes on about how cruelty is the causal blindness to the pain of others.

Steve says Tom is going to help him tell the people something but Tom calls in security to break it up. Steve breaks up the set and shouts TELL THEM. Steve takes down a member of security and seems to spray mist on him and shouts TELL THEM again. He grabs the camera and says he’s comfortable being evil and the psychopath in the story, but remember the chapter where you f****** made him. It takes a lot to make me interested in something from a longstanding middle of the road star like Crazzy Steve and they have done it in the last three weeks. Nicely done.

MK Ultra, in a mix of English and Russian, say they’re not scared of their first title defense because the more teams coming after them, the more toys to play with. Or maybe more control and pain. Chains are included.

Video on Eddie Edwards vs. Frankie Kazarian, with both o their wives getting involved. We also see the door to the Killer Kowalski School Of Professional Wrestling door closing. That could be interesting.

Emergence rundown.

PCO goes to Bully Ray’s hotel but can’t find him. Why he only looked in the lobby isn’t clear but it might explain the failure.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Brian Myers vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Myers takes him into the corner to start and slaps Shelley in the face, earning himself a rollup to give Shelley two. Shelley starts cranking on the arm and has Myers wincing quite a bit. Myers is sent to the apron and they fall outside, with Shelley being sent into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Shelley fighting out of a chinlock. Myers misses a charge into the post and Shelley gets a needed breather. Shelley knocks him down again and it’s a Downward Spiral into the buckle. The Border City Stretch goes on but Myers slips out and hits the implant DDT. Myers gets two more off a spear but Shelley kicks him in the face and hits Sliced Bread #2. The kickout sends Myers right back into the Border City Stretch though and Shelley retains at 14:32.

Rating: B. I kept waiting on something screwy to happen but instead they went with the clean ending again. As usual, there’s no shame in losing to the World Champion and Myers looked good in defeat. That’s about all you can ask for out of something like this and the fact that it was another good match made things even better.

Post match Moose and Bully Ray run in for the beatdown but Kushida and Josh Alexander make the save. We cut to the back where Lio Rush has jumped Chris Sabin. The good guys fight back and the brawl continues to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Maybe it’s that I’m so used to having other wrestling shows be full of interference and shenanigans, but my goodness it was SO refreshing to have a show with clean wrestling and storylines being advanced. This is the definition of a show that doesn’t overthink things and let the talented wrestlers showcase themselves. Awesome show here and a good example of why I have so much fun with this show a lot of the time.

Results
Trinity b. Jody Threat – Rollup
Deaner b. Laredo Kid – Antidote
ABC b. Good Hands – 1-2-Sweet to Hotch
Chris Sabin b. Samuray del Sol – Cradle Shock
Alex Shelley b. Brian Myers – Border City Stretch

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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