Impact Wrestling
Date: October 25, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Todd Kenely, Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s Championship Night or whatever the latest gimmick show these guys have going on is called. I’m not a big fan of having I think three title matches less than two weeks after BFG, but since the shows themselves aren’t worth watching, they need a gimmick to draw in fans. There’s a world title match tonight with an opponent for Hardy to be announced. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan and Hardy in the back. Hogan is picking Hardy’s first challenger tonight and Hardy is ready for anyone. Hardy leaves and we get a really stupid voiceover from Hardy, talking about all of his potential opponents. He doesn’t care who he faces here.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Zema Ion

We’ve got split announcers tonight, with Kenely (not sure who he is) and JB doing the first hour and the usual boys doing the second. Ion tries a quick rollup for two but it’s a standoff. Rob gets a gorilla press of all thigns and a pair of moonsaults for two. Ion heads to the floor and Rob is sent into the barricade when he follows. Ion charges into a kick in the ring but Rob misses a dive to the floor. Zema hits a flip dive over the top to take the champ out. Back in and Ion misses a majorly flippy dive so Rob kicks him in the face and hits Rolling Thunder for no cover. The Five Star retains the title at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Van Dam is a good pick for the title because you’re going to get at least a watchable match out of him and a win over him will mean something. Thankfully this should get him past Ion who was champion because….I’m not sure why he was champion, but it might be because he’s still around when everyone else from the X-Division revival

As Van Dam celebrates, Matt Morgan takes his head off with the Carbon Footprint. Joey Ryan has the X Title and poses with it. Morgan says this is what Hogan wanted.

Austin Aries is listening to the people trying to get the title match. The options are Angle, Anderson, Storm and Ray. Aries gets a shot anyway so he doesn’t care. We get some good jabs at Hogan’s “acting” and Aries says he’s going to use these guys for his personal amusement once they’re eliminated.

Here are Daniels and Kaz who don’t like the lack of tricks they’ve been getting for all the tricks they’ve been through. Daniels was left alone last week because Hogan screwed with Kaz’s travel. Kaz thinks the new champions are here in this country illegally. Daniels takes the mic from him and says that it’s not really Championship Thursday is it Suburban Commando? It’s a crime that everyone else is getting a shot but not them.

Daniels accuses Dixie of pandering to a Latino audience and says they should wear sombreros and drink tequila. Maybe they should call themselves Dos Stereotipicos. Daniels has a petition to get another title match. Well that’s better than the auto rematch clause. Cue the champions who say they’ll help with the petition. Hernandez has his title wrapped a chain around his neck. The brawl is on and the champs clear the ring in about a second. I think we have a rematch made. Kaz: “GIVE ME THAT CLIPBOARD BACK! THAT’S AN EXPENSIVE PEN!”

Hogan eliminates Anderson for nothing having enough fire. Aries tries to interview him. “Was it not taking enough vitamins? Not saying enough BROTHERS?” Aries says Anderson would be an easy opponent than him and throws a drink in Anderson’s face. The fight is on and Aries is down off a WICKED PAPER POSTER SHOT TO THE HEAD! A match is made and Anderson laughs. Then, to further the stupidity, we hear the director yell CUT. I mean…..really?

D-Von is with Aces and 8’s. The President has said no masks can come off. There are some women here to entertain them apparently, but first they have to take someone out. A member throws a dart at a bunch of pictures of wrestlers but we don’t see who it hit.

TV Title: Robbie T vs. Samoa Joe

Geez enough with the Robs getting title shots! Joe pounds away in the corner to start but T comes back with a spin kick to take him down. Joe puts on the Clutch and after a meaningless Robbie E distraction, Joe puts the hold on again while jumping on T’s back. Terry falls back on him but in an AWESOME moment, Joe sits up and with an INSANE look on his face, puts the hold back on and gets the tap at 2:28. Look up that ending. It looked great.

We recap Tara taking the title from Tessmacher along with Jesse from Big Brother. Did I mention I can’t stand reality TV?

Back to Hogan’s office and Ray apparently isn’t focused enough. He’s going to find D-Von and take care of him, basically eliminating himself.

Anderson yells at a guy in a headset and apparently it’s Anderson vs. Aries next. I know this because the announcer said it’s Anderson vs. Aries next.

Mr. Anderson vs. Austin Aries

They start immediately and Anderson yells mean things at Austin. Anderson takes his shirt off as Aries chills on the floor. A fireman’s carry goes nowhere and things slow down. Aries puts brass knuckles in Anderson’s tights but the referee takes them away. That was kind of odd. The fans chant cheater and Anderson pounds him into the corner again. Anderson gets sent to the floor and there’s the suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Aries still in control but the fans are cheering for the cheater now. Anderson tries to fight back with some elbows and a clothesline that spins Aries inside out. Anderson’s spinning neckbreaker takes Aries down but the Regal Roll is countered again. The double rotation kick sends Aries to the floor and Anderson adds a plancha.

The fireman’s carry is loaded up again but Aries takes out the referee. Aries steals the knuckles from Aries and Anderson gets them. The referee takes them away and Aries knocks him cold with another pair. Aries pulls Anderson on top of him to feign a pin attempt before putting on the Last Chancery for the pin at 11:49.

Rating: C-. This was an awkward match, likely because Anderson is so unorthodox in the ring. Not a horrible match but it was missing by a half beat. Aries is doing some cool stuff and I like him way better as a heel. I like Anderson way better off my TV, but I guess he’s better in this role than another, but it’s not like it’s a great improvement.

Brooke and Tara/Jesse do their usual stuff. Brooke tells Jesse that ODB has an eye on him. Isn’t ODB married?

Tenay and Taz take over in what is supposed to be a big deal I think. We recap the show up to this point.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tara is defending and gets jumped before she can get in the ring. After more of a beating, a Jesse distraction lets Tara take over with some cheap shots. Tara slams Tessmacher’s face into the mat a few times but stops for a kiss. From Jesse unfortunately. More kissing occurs and Tara misses her slingshot somersault legdrop. Tessmacher comes back and hits her Stinkface before hitting an X Factor out of the corner. Tara grabs Terrell and Jesse lowbridges Tessmacher. Widow’s Peak retains the title at 3:57.

Rating: D+. Annoying non-celebrity aside, Tessmacher contines to do nothing at all for me. She’s just there and is exactly the same character she was a year ago. Also she’s just not that good in the ring, period. Her looks are great but mix up the outfits a bit already. Tara continues to be annoying with Jesse so it’s a success on that front. Hopefully this feud is done now.

Post match more making out occurs until Brooke comes out to shake her head. Apparently ODB is calling out Jesse next week on Open Fight Night.

Joseph Park goes in to talk to Hogan about fighting Aces and 8’s. Hogan says Park has had one match (he’s had two) and also he’s worried about Park’s liability. Park has a piece of paper. Hogan: “What’s that?” Park: “It’s a piece of paper.” He goes on to say it’s a letter of indemnification which means if he gets hurt fighting Aces and 8’s, it’s no one’s fault but Park’s and there’s no legal responsibility for anyone else.

Here’s Ray who again thanks Sting for letting him be his partner. Not much shocks Ray anymore, but the D-Von reveal did. Ray wants an explanation from D-Von but gets the whole group instead. They get in the ring and D-Von says they’re not friends or a team or anything anymore. D-Von says this has nothing to do with Ray anymore and it’s all about Hogan. Apparently this is because Hogan said that he wanted D-Von re-signed to the company, but Hogan and Dixie never called. In other words, if you don’t follow TNA online and follow Hogan on Twitter, this whole story makes VERY little sense.

D-Von says it’s over but Ray says it’s over when he says it’s over. Ray says D-Von is lying and he talks about the Guns coming back from 3D like two years ago and how they should have retired as champions. Years ago D-Von said they’re rich so screw the fans. D-Von says yeah he said it, so Ray wants to fight one on one right now. D-Von says it’s on his time but Ray says he’ll call him out next week on Open Fight Night.

Ryan says he wants the X Title and Morgan says Hogan started this.

It’s also Gut Check next week. The wrestler is Christian York. He wrestled on the first TNA show and in ECW.

Hogan says he’s got something big planned for Storm in the future but tonight Angle has the title shot.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff has two belts here: the vanity belt around his waist and the real one over his shoulder. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. Jeff takes him down with an armbar followed by the slingshot dropkick in the corner. Jeff goes to the corner but gets shoved out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Hardy escaping a chinlock and they clothesline each other.

Hardy starts speeding things up and kicks Angle to the floor. There’s a big clothesline off the apron and back inside for Whisper in the Wind for two. Angle comes back with Rolling Germans for two. The Slam is countered into the Twisting Stunner for no cover. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Angle throws him off the top for two. Angle busts out a powerbomb for two and puts on a quick ankle lock, but Jeff kicks him off. The same kick puts Angle down but the Swanton misses.

The Angle Slam gets two so Jeff hits two straight Twists and the Swanton for just two. Jeff charges at Kurt and gets backdropped to the floor. Angle is spitting up blood. There go the straps as Hardy is thrown back in. Another Slam is countered into a rollup for the pin at 14:29 to keep the belt on Hardy.

Rating: B. When you need a solid match, call Kurt Angle. He’s great in spots like this where you need a main event and have no one else to throw in there. His resume is good enough to buy as a challenger no matter what he’s been doing lately. Either way, good stuff here and a very solid TV main event.

Post match Aries jumps Hardy and says the rematch is at Turning Point. Aries is so confident he’ll win that he takes the belt with him. The original, not the stupid one.

We cut to the back to see Angle getting destroyed by Aces and 8’s to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show, but man alive was it exhausting. There’s WAY too much stuff going on here between all of the title matches and the backstage stuff and the reality show stuff with Hogan and it’s all just too much. TNA is the opposite of WWE in that respect as while WWE has too much time on their hands, TNA doesn’t have enough and you get shows like this where there’s so much stuff going on that you can’t get a chance to breathe.

Still though, this was WAY better than last week and I feel better about where they’re going now. One more note: slow down on the gimmick shows. We’re going from Championship Thursday to Open Fight Night next week. Space them out or cut one. Back to back is too much, and there’s likely another gimmick that I can’t think of.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion – Five Star Frog Splash

Samoa Joe b. Robbie T – Koquina Clutch

Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Last Chancery

Tara b. Miss Tessmacher – Widow’s Peak

Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton Bomb

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WCW Pro
Date: March 7, 1992
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Attendance: 3,000
Commentator: Tony Schiavone

This is another show I’ve never looked at before but it’s the equivalent of probably Main Event today, not to be confused with WCW Main Event which is an entirely different show. We’re a few days past SuperBrawl which means Sting finally won the world title back from Lex Luger, who is on his way out of the company now, not be to be seen again for over three years. I’m not sure what to expect from this one so let’s get to it.

We open with Rude talking about how he’s beaten Sting before and he can do it again.

P.N. News vs. Fred Avery

News is a 400lb white rapper who is as stupid as he sounds. Avery weighs about 300lb himself and is from Wyoming of all places. News pounds away and dropkicks (kind of) Avery down. A clothesline puts Avery down again as does a fireman’s carry/Samoan Drop. News pounds away very slowly and hits a side slam before strolling around even more. Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit as this is dragging already. A belly to belly puts Avery down and a top rope splash ends this. News’ music was playing before the splash even hit.

Rating: D. News was as fat a fat slob that ever entered the ring this side of say Loch Ness. This was slow and plodding with News walking around the ring, likely in search of a Twinkie to prevent collapsing. He feuded with Steve Austin of all people at this time because when you have Austin, you put him in a feud with a fat tub of goo like News who can barely move an inch.

The new World Champion Sting talks about a title defense against Rude in Chicago.

Terry Taylor vs. Larry Santo

Taylor gets things going by sending Santo into the corner and dropping him with a jawbreaker. Santo is sent to the floor as we hear about Taylor taking Marcus Bagwell under his wing, only to turn on him in an attempt to destroy him. Taylor drops some knees on the back of the head and puts on a Boston Crab which goes nowhere. Taylor won’t even cover off a sitout powerbomb or a powerslam. The Five Arm (a forearm with a semi-clever name) puts Santo out of his misery.

Rating: D+. Not that this was good but it was better than the drek we sat through before this. Taylor though is one of the guys that I never have cared for no matter what he did, primarily because of his lame gimmicks. At this point he was the Taylor Made Man which meant he wore nice clothes. Seriously, that’s it.

Danny Wilson vs. Abdullah the Butcher

Butch is a guy who will run over everyone in sight and doesn’t care about rules at all, making this a more intense than usual squash. That’s what I can’t stand about these old shows: there’s nothing to say about them because it’s the same stuff over and over again. It’s the same destruction over and over again and there’s nothing to say here. Wilson is thrown to the floor and run over with a shoulder block back inside. Two big running 400lb elbows end this.

Rating: F+. Again, what do you want me to say here? Thankfully Butcher didn’t stab anyone in the head or main Wilson this time which is a step in the right direction for him. I’ve never been a fan of the guy as he’s in that camp that thinks bleeding everywhere and dropping an elbow or two makes you a wrestler. Now granted he’s done different stuff before, but his WCW stuff was dreadful.

We get a video from Jesse Ventura at the post-SuperBrawl party. Sting shows up for an impromptu press conference. He says he’ll face anyone who wants to face him and he’d love to defend it in Japan. Sting talks about how strong Luger (the guy he beat) was before Jesse asks what the trash talk was about. Apparently they were saying this is it and they were asking each other if they were ready. Sting doesn’t know who his next opponent will be but here’s the Dangerous Alliance, headed by Rick Rude.

He’s very happy about Sting being champion and offers Sting a drink. Sting says he has no reason to drink with Sting so there’s a drink to the face. Sting is ready to fight right now and it’s on with Rude getting a front facelock and riding Sting down with ease. The rest of the Alliance shows up and Sting is WAY outnumbered until security makes the save.

We get a segment called the Brickhouse Bonus which is an editorial from Jack Brickhouse, a legendary Chicago sportscaster. This is the Chicago version of WCW Pro, which is the same from a content perspective, but has stuff like that thrown in, along with ads for Chicago shows.

Young Pistol Steve vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steve is Steve Armstrong of the Armstrong Family. Feeling out process to start with Ricky carefully taking him into the corner. Steve heads to the apron as we’re over two minutes into this with barely any contact so far. A few shoulders put Steve down before Steamboat slaps him for no apparent reason. Ricky wants a test of strength but Armstrong stays in the corner. Armstrong grabs a headlock takeover out of the corner as they’ve got a lot of time to use here.

Another headlock takeover puts Ricky down again but Steamboat counters into a top wristlock. They go to the mat for some chain wrestling until Armstrong goes to the hair to keep him down. They get back up again with Steamboat taking over via a clothesline and a chop. Out to the floor now for nothing of note so we head back in for Steamboat to keep control. Armstrong goes into the corner a few times but he sends Ricky’s head into it instead to take over again.

Some punches to the face keep Steamboat down as Tony rambles about someone slapping someone else in the face. I would have more details about that but listening to Tony Schiavone makes my head hurt. A suplex puts Armstrong down but Armstrong hits one of his own on the Dragon. Ricky pops back up though and pounds away on Steve in the corner. Steamboat misses a clothesline and it’s off to a surfboard by Armstrong. A sunset flip gets one for Armstrong but Ricky rams him face first into the mat. Armstrong misses a charge and hits the ropes, allowing Ricky to go up top and finish with the cross body.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches that was long for the sake of being long which doesn’t make it entertaining. At the end of the day, this was a former world champion against a lower midcard tag guy. This would be like Orton taking ten minutes to beat Epico. At the end of the day, it’s really hard to stay with a match that long when it’s just ok. Nothing to see here.

We run down the house show card again.

Rude says he’s going to show Chicago who the better man is between he and Sting.

Brian Pillman says don’t do steroids.

Overall Rating: D. This was your basic show from this era: a bunch of squashes and a feature match which didn’t work all that well. 1992 was decent at times, but you need more than this for a show to work. To be fair though this was the lower level show of the era which didn’t do it any favors. This was boring stuff, but at least it was relatively short.

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