Impact Wrestling – November 10, 2016: Looking at you Through the Glass
Impact Wrestling Date: November 10, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s another big night here in TNA as the World Title is on the line again. This time it’s Eli Drake challenging as he cashes in his Bound for Gold title shot for a chance at Eddie Edwards’ World Title. Other than that we’ll likely get an update on Broken Matt Hardy, who might have amnesia. Let’s get to it.
We look back at last week’s main event.
Josh previews the show, which will feature the start of some competition to crown a new #1 contender.
Here’s Eddie to open the show. Over his career, he’s had a lot of support but there’s also been a lot of negativity. He’s developed a never say die attitude and is ready for anything, but here’s Drake to interrupt. Drake is Bound For Gold and is ready to lighten Eddie’s load a bit. This brings out Ethan Carter III to say he’ll be #1 contender no matter what. He can see it in Eli’s eyes: Drake isn’t ready to be champion. Now it’s Mike Bennett and Maria coming out to laugh at Ethan for betting on Eddie, just like when he bet and lost his streak. The fight is on but here’s Moose to join in as we take a break.
Mike Bennett vs. Moose
This is the first in a series of qualifying matches for a #1 contenders match. Moose throws him around to start so Maria pulls her husband to the floor, earning an ejection, followed by a lot of screaming. Back in and a chop block slows Moose down and we slow down into a standard “keep the power guy on the mat” match. Moose makes his comeback with headbutts to the arm but can’t do his running charge into the corner.
Instead it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb and a backsplash (becoming WAY too common a move in wrestling) for two, only to have Bennett kick out the leg again. A piledriver gets two because piledrivers are only devastating sometimes. The Game Changer is broken up with even more superkicks but Bennett no sells a pump kick, setting up a cutter for two. They head outside with Moose going head first into the steps, drawing a countout to give Bennett the win at 8:32.
Rating: D+. Standard Bennett match here, meaning nothing all that interesting. I’m glad they didn’t have Moose lose clean here and Bennett is more interesting going forward towards the title, especially if Lashley is involved in this competition. You don’t need two big power guys in the same match so Bennett going forward makes more sense.
Al Snow is here for a surprise from the Tribunal.
We go to the Hardy Compound where Jeff shows up to check on his brother. Apparently Matt has been acting differently since his injury, including wearing sweaters and showing an interest in home improvement. That means building a dining room, but he doesn’t recognize Jeff at the moment. Jeff tries to impersonate Broken Matt, who doesn’t even remember that they’re wrestlers. He’s an engineer now but Reby has an idea.
Here’s the Tribunal for a statement. They quickly bring Snow out and get right to the point: they don’t need him and never did. The beatdown is on and it’s Mahabali Shera for the save. The Tribunal easily beats up the dancer and stand tall.
Jesse Godderz wants to get his hands on Aron Rex and it’s not about the title.
Abyss vs. Ethan Carter III
Qualifying match. Carter misses an early charge but has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. Abyss takes it outside and chokeslams Ethan onto the apron (which the announcers don’t point out as the hardest part of the ring). Back in and a hard shot to the face drops Carter again before a comeback is cut off by a chokeslam for two. A chair doesn’t work and Ethan grabs a sleeper for a tap out (Huh?) at 6:36.
Rating: D. A sleeper for a submission? I guess it was supposed to be a rear naked choke but when the announcers call it a sleeper, that’s what I’m going with. Maybe Carter couldn’t get him in the 1%er or something but that’s quite the weird ending. At least we had a fresh match for a change and that’s a good thing.
Eli is ready to take the title.
Back to the Hardy Compound where Reby plays the theme song while Matt eats lobster. A family sing-a-long breaks out but Matt has no idea what to do. To be fair they ask him to remember Jeff’s line. Jeff offers to take him on a ride on the dirtbike. Jeff: “ISN’T THAT EXCITING???” Matt: “No.”
JB is in the ring to bring out Gail Kim, who has an announcement. Gail comes out and says Borash is like family to him. Interesting but not much of an announcement. She asks Jade to come out here and calls Jade the future of the division. Gail sounds like she’s about to retire when Rosemary and Decay cut her off. It’s mist for Gail and Jade gets dropped, leaving Rosemary to choke Gail out. Rosemary isn’t done as she goes coast to coast to drive a garbage can into Jade’s face.
Trevor Lee vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ
Thankfully it’s not a title match but rather another qualifying match. It’s a chase to start with Lee kicking DJZ in the chest but Spud can’t get a cover. Back in Lee throws DJZ around again but gets knocked outside, leaving Spud to take out DJZ’s leg. A springboard legdrop gets two but Lee muscles Spud up and sends him flying with a release German suplex. Spud comes back in for a low blow on DJZ but gets kneed in the face. The fishmerman’s buster gives Lee the pin on Spud at 4:22.
Rating: C-. This was every X-Division match you’ve seen in the last few years and there was no mention of the champion losing or of Lee earning a potential future title shot after winning a match involving the champ. At least DJZ didn’t lose though and he still has that stupid flag to carry around in Team X Gold which doesn’t actually involve gold.
Aiden O’Shea puts Grado and Robbie E. together as a team against Lashley. The happiness quickly ends.
Brandi Rhodes tries to give Allie a pep talk to no avail.
Lashley vs. Grado/Robbie E.
Qualifying match and the team doesn’t get an entrance. Tags are required here as Josh tries to say the team should be favored. Robbie is driven into the corner to start before it’s off to Grado for a top rope ax handle. Robbie’s middle rope clothesline actually puts Lashley down and Grado does his dancing punches. A double suplex just seems to tick Lashley off and it’s time to get serious. Grado’s spine is busted and the spear ends Robbie at 2:56.
We look back at Rex defending the title last week and knocking Godderz out with one punch.
Rex arrives while polishing the belt. Jesse is waiting on him (Rex: “Someone had too much Creatine.”) and we go to a break. Back with Rex saying he’s not interested in this and getting beaten up anyway. The beating continues until Rex gets back into the car and leaves.
Back to the Hardy Compound where Matt is terrified to be on the bike. They go to the lake where Matt is very confused about the idea of talking to a boat. Matt on what’s going on in his head: “It’s just so hard to describe!” Cue the Scribe to confuse Matt even more. Jeff suggests getting in the water but Matt says it’s freezing. Matt won’t do it so Jeff says he’ll go fight by himself. As his brother leaves, Matt suggests counseling.
TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Eli Drake
Drake is challenging and we get Big Match Intros. Feeling out process to start until Drake takes over with a hard clothesline. The champ gets beaten down a few more times and a powerslam gets two. Eddie’s comeback sees him throw Drake over the top but a little skinning the cat….doesn’t work as Drake is clotheslined out to the floor.
The suicide dive is overshot as Eddie crashes into the crowd and Drake comes up holding his arm. Back in and a quick Blunt Force Trauma gets two, followed by a quick belly to back suplex for the same. Not that it matters as the Boston Knee Party is enough for the pin to retain the title at 10:21.
Rating: C. The best thing about this match is the time. There’s no reason whatsoever for Eddie to need more than about ten minutes to dispatch Drake and that’s what happened here. Drake is similar to the Miz: mainly talk, but he’s so good at it that he can hang above his in ring levels. This gets rid of Bound For Gold but Drake did well enough that he could be back here someday.
Post match here’s the DCC to go after Eddie. The champ is laid out and the masks come off to reveal someone unnamed (Eddie Kingston), Bram and James Storm, the latter of whom seems to be the leader.
Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine enough but as usual there’s almost nothing to get connected to. Everything in TNA (save for the Hardys) is always so structured with people winning a tournament or a competition or something like that to get a title shot. You never have someone get over on sheer popularity and become a contender because everything has to be earned. I like the sentiment and it’s good for a change but as usual, it’s not a good idea to have everything be the same. I need more emotion and something to connect to as most of the time I’m just watching things happen instead of getting interested in them.
Results
Mike Bennett b. Moose via countout
Ethan Carter III b. Abyss – Sleeper
Trevor Lee b. Rockstar Spud and DJZ – Fisherman’s buster to Spud
Lashley b. Robbie E./Grado – Spear to Robbie
Eddie Edwards b. Eli Drake – Boston Knee Party
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Impact Wrestling – September 8, 2016: We Want Wrestling And Hat Eating Giraffes!
Impact Wrestling Date: September 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We have arrived. Unfortunately it’s not at Bound For Glory or anything that’s going to matter in the long run, but we’ve reached Final Deletion II: This Time It’s REALLY Final. In other words, Decay is going to the Hardy Compound to fight Matt and Jeff in what’s going to be a big mess that you may or may not find highly entertaining. Let’s get to it.
Senor Benjamin and Vanguard I tell us that these segments will be performed by professionals and no animals were harmed in making this.
We see a clip from last week with Reby saying prepare the battlefield.
Senor Benjamin digs graves for Decay as we hear an operatic version of the Obsolete song.
Matt tells Senor Benjamin to prepare the personal zoo for visitation.
Here are Mike Bennett and Maria with something to say. Mike says don’t bite the hand that feeds you, which is what Moose has been doing lately. It was Bennett that brought Moose in and paid him but thanks to a strongly worded text message, Moose has been fired. With him out of the way, Mike can become World Champion like he deserves.
This brings out Dixie Carter of all people to say people are here to watch wrestling. Tell me Dixie: how much time is Final Deletion II getting tonight? Mike says no one appreciates either himself or Maria but he knows Dixie is about to put him in the main event. Dixie says not so fast because Mike will be in a match against, of course, Moose. Mike and Maria wisely run off.
Post break Mike and Maria yell at Dixie, who says Mike is in breach of contract if he doesn’t fight. As a bonus, Maria is no longer in charge of the Knockouts because she has to defend the Knockouts Title against an opponent to be determined next week.
Gail Kim/Jade vs. Allie/Sienna
Sienna and Gail start things off because it’s always Gail first. Allie gets tagged in and is promptly run over by a shoulder to send her outside. Sienna tells Allie to stay out of it because she’s not a wrestler. The fans want Allie but get Sienna’s running splash on Gail instead. The AK47 is broken up but Sienna still won’t tag Allie in. Jade comes in with her kicks and Allie accidentally tags herself in and hits Sienna by mistake. Sienna runs Allie over with the Silencer and Jade gets the pin at 4:38.
Rating: D. This was angle advancement though I’m really not sure where this is going. Allie is being turned face but how do you go from her not being able to do basic stuff properly to being able to fight someone like Sienna? I still don’t care about Gail, Jade or Sienna but that’s the product of forcing our way to Gail vs. Maria despite it being a squash on paper.
Billy Corgan has a major announcement but won’t say what it is.
Back to the Hardy Compound with Matt bringing the rest of the team to his personal zoo. That means a giraffe named George Washington eats a hat and the brothers Hardy fighting a kangaroo named Smoking Joe Frazier. Later, Matt, described as a spot monkey whisperer, talks to monkeys named after members of the X-Division. Then a tiger tells Matt that Decay arrives tonight. I really don’t know what I just saw but it’s giving me flashbacks to Mean Gene and George Steele in the Detroit Zoo so we’ll declare this awesome.
Corgan is in the ring and unveils the Grand Championship, which is replacing the now retired King of the Mountain Title. This brings out Drew Galloway to say he’s 6’5, thirty one years old and has sixteen years experience so how can anyone else be the choice? Corgan says this is the evolution of wrestling and we get a video giving us the rules
3 rounds
3 minutes per round
The match can end at any time but each round is scored on a 10 point system and if no one wins in the nine minute time limit (yes a nine minute time limit), three judges will declare a winner.
There will be an eight man tournament and the first champion will be crowned at Bound For Glory. Galloway says he is this business but here’s Aron Rex to say this started over a title and it’s ending with Drew going back to Scotland in a medical helicopter. Corgan says not so fast because we’ve got a tournament match right now.
Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Braxton Sutter vs. Drew Galloway
The judges are just unnamed people and the lights are down for some reason. Drew gets in a belly to belly and says that’s a ten. A boot to the face gets two for Galloway and he fires off chops in the corner as this is one sided so far. Some right hands have Sutter in more trouble and the first round ends at just over three minutes. The first round goes to Drew 10-9 all around, giving us a 30-27 score.
Sutter gets beaten up for the first minute of the second round before he snaps Drew’s throat across the top rope to take over. A superplex gets two on Galloway and a snap powerslam gets the same. Sutter pounds away as Josh says Drew has given up his back (because this is a UFC match) and the second round ends. The scores go 10-9, 10-9 and 9-10 in Sutter’s favor…..which means the match is even because they’ve won a round each. Sure why not. Drew gets in a piledriver and the Iron Maiden makes Sutter tap at 8:03 (including breaks between rounds).
Rating: D. So to recap, the number of points you get don’t count because it’s based on who wins two rounds? In other words, they’re trying to make this like UFC but want to switch it just enough that it’s not UFC? Ignoring the scoring system (never been a fan in wrestling), this was a bad match with the guys mainly chopping each other and then pounding away like a UFC fight to end the rounds. Oh and again: nine minute time limits. How can that be a good idea?
During the break, Rockstar Spud attacked Sutter.
A guy leaves a liquor store and runs into Rosemary. Sexual innuendo is exchanged and Decay attacks, leaving the guy in the road and stealing the truck. Abyss says he’s heard Cameron is beautiful this time of the year.
We go to a press conference for the main event of Bound For Glory. Corgan, Ethan Carter III and Lashley all come out to their entrance music with the fans/press waving their arms to Ethan’s song. Corgan talks about how this is the kind of match you’re going to remember in twenty years. Carter sees a monster in Lashley but he also sees a coward behind those sunglasses.
Lashley destroyed a division and that’s not cool. They started fighting back in England over Kurt Angle’s broken body (Lashley: “I did that.”) and it ends at Bound For Glory. Lashley talks about being the guy that can defend Impact from other organizations but Carter says he’s beaten everyone and Lashley will be no different. Lashley goes on a rant about everyone he’s hurt and how Carter will be no different (that sounds familiar). A brawl broke out and the “press” just awkwardly watched. This is by far the best thing on the show tonight but that’s just because it’s less insane than the other stuff.
The brawl continued after a break with Lashley throwing Carter out of a door and through some wood.
Video on Jesse Godderz and how excited he is for the Grand Championship tournament.
Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Eli Drake vs. Jesse Godderz
Apparently you get points for aggressiveness, controlling the action and physicality. They trade arm work to start with Godderz working on a chinlock. A dropkick and forearm get two for Jesse and it’s a few armdrags to wrap up the first round. Jesse wins the first round 29-28 with the announcers turning into analysts in between rounds.
Drake hammers away in the corner and gets two off a DDT. A powerslam gets the same but Jesse gets in a forearm, followed by the Adonis Lock. Drake rides out the clock to end the round and it goes to Godderz again. The final round begins with Drake hitting some kind of a powerbomb but getting caught in the Adonis Lock again. An Angle Slam gets two on Eli, only to have him hit Blunt Force Trauma for the quick pin at 9:24 total.
Rating: D+. This was another basic match with a gimmick attached that makes it feel more “real” because that’s what wrestling fans tune in to see on a show featuring a boxing kangaroo. I like Drake and Godderz has grown on me tremendously but there’s nothing you can do when you’re having three mini matches and have to play to some judges who aren’t likely to mean much in this whole tournament.
We recap Galloway and Rex’s issues over the last few weeks.
Rex is kicking stuff over and really doesn’t feel like talking. He’s talked and performed for years but he’s done thinking. So here’s the problem: there’s a good chance these two are going to wind up in the finals of the Grand Championship tournament at Bound For Glory. Ok, cool. Those two fighting for a title is fine. What’s not cool is having this big, violent feud’s first match be in this rigidly timed format with a nine minute time limit. Let them beat the heck out of each other instead of going to a judges’ decision or having to get the match done fast. Think this stuff through.
It’s time for Final Deletion II. Decay goes after Senor Benjamin but he turns a shovel around to show the word DELETE. We cut to Decay arriving at the house, which Rosemary calls home sweet home. They look through the window to see Reby holding Maxill but here’s Matt, who KNEW THEY WOULD COME.
Back from a break and it’s time for the showdown with the Hardys (the three adults) holding up their fireworks. Abyss: “THIS IS NOT BEAUTIFUL!” Hang on because there are going to be a lot of very quick cuts in this thing. The Hardys chase them off with the fireworks and a ladder is knocked over. It’s really hard to see what’s going on here but for some reason fireworks are being shot horizontally at Decay but a camera cut shows them exploding in the air.
Matt sends Reby back to the house as Decay hides behind ye olde dilapidated boat. Abyss tells someone to get to the house and Jeff dropkicks the boat into the water. Cue Senor Benjamin to say Matt needs the boat. Jeff disappears and Benjamin starts pulling the boat but Joseph Park walks out of the water. Park: “Brother Benjamin! I loved you in Final Deletion!” Benjamin tazes Park and puts him in a conveniently placed bulldozer.
It’s off to Steve, who tries to send Jeff face first into a fire inside a big tire. That earns Steve a sitout gorbuster into a pool and they fight underwater. Matt is walking through smoke and calling for Rosemary as Benjamin dumps Park (presumably) into a grave. Jeff chokes Steve out under the water and sits on the side of the pool, only to be pulled back in ala the end of Friday the 13th.
Back to Benjamin who laughs at the grave but Abyss pops out to choke him. Steve and Jeff fight over a pool toy but it’s back to Abyss going after Matt and pulling out Janice. Jeff takes the shot to the ribs for his brother but here’s Vanguard I to launch rockets at Decay. The Hardy symbol in the grass is lit on fire with Steve inside. We cut back to the house where Rosemary has Maxill.
Vanguard I tells her to put him down so she blows mist at the drone to knock it offline. Maxill escaped somewhere in there and here’s Matt to say Rosemary has crossed a line. She mists him but he sucks it into his mouth and spits it back at her. Maxill staggers over to Matt as Reby reappears. The family is reunited but we cut back to Jeff who is laying on the ground in agony. Steve laughs at the fallen Benjamin and a car, I guess containing Decay, leaves to end the show.
So yeah, the Final Deletion is basically Sharknado. It was a lot of fun the first time because it was just so stupid but the second version is really just a bigger budget version where you expect the same stuff over and over again. Other than the random Joseph Park cameo (really funny), this was a lot of the same bits that they did the first time but without the “what am I watching” reactions. I had fun with it and all but I really don’t need to see this again unless they come up with something fresh next time. It also doesn’t help that this set up (in theory) a regular tag match at Bound For Glory. Isn’t that kind of backwards?
Overall Rating: D. Let’s get this one out of the way right now: there was an idea here. This show was an attempt to try a lot of different stuff and not just do the same old ideas that we’ve covered for so many months if not years. I can give them a lot of credit for that attempt but that doesn’t mean it’s something that worked.
The wrestling here was bad and as is so often the case, that’s not on the wrestlers themselves. The tag match was built around Allie not knowing what to do and the other two matches were hamstrung by the time constraints and rules. Unfortunately that’s all the wrestling we had here as the Final Deletion is just an insane segment and not a match by any stretch. I really didn’t care much for this show but it’s an example where they tried to do something different, which you really don’t see often in wrestling. There’s certainly an audience that wants to see this but I don’t know how big it really is.
Results
Jade/Gail Kim b. Sienna/Jade – Silencer to Jade
Drew Galloway b. Braxton Sutter – Iron Maiden
Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Blunt Force Trauma
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Impact Wrestling – August 25, 2016: Bound For Bad Wrestling
Impact Wrestling Date: August 25, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re down to six weeks before Bound For Glory and you can start to see some of the card taking shape. Tonight’s main event has World Title implications as we have Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway for the #1 contendership with Aron Rex as the guest referee. It should also be interesting to see where they go with the midcard titles. Let’s get to it.
Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway meet on the roof of a very tall building with a pool nearby. They sit down for some whiskey and a chat which we’ll probably see later.
We recap Ethan maybe or maybe not causing Drew several World Title matches.
Battle Royal
Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, Eli Drake, Basille Baraka, Baron Dax, Grado, Mahabali Shera, Mike Bennett, Moose, Eddie Edwards
Winner gets a World Title shot and Lashley is on commentary. There are only ten people in an open invitation battle royal for a World Title shot? Josh says this show is being called a turning point. Wait is this Turning Point 2016? Or is that just Josh running his mouth like the goon that he is?
Baraka eliminates Dax to get us down to nine and to make me happy that I don’t have to remember which of those two is which. Moose dumps Shera and we take a break. Back with all eight still in before Baraka gets rid of Robbie. Moose tosses Baraka a few seconds later, followed by Eli getting rid of Grado. Lashley keeps talking about how everyone can just leave now because they’re not winning the title shot. At least he’s sounding cocky like a monster heel should.
Eddie throws Drake out and we’re down to four. Jesse springboards back in to clothesline both heels but Moose tosses him out with ease. So it’s Eddie, Moose and Bennett to go and the double teaming begins, only to have Eddie grab Moose in a hurricanrana but Mike dumps them both out for the win at 17:10.
Rating: D. Well that happened. Bennett was one of the only options to win here and that’s the problem with having ten people in a battle royal. Shouldn’t most of the roster be in this if it’s for a shot at the World Title? Where are all the X-Division guys who were talking about how they wanted to fight Lashley? Matt and Jeff aren’t interested in being World Champion? That’s not the best thinking and it made for a bad battle royal with everyone waiting to get down to the three or so potential winners.
Ethan and Drew down their first whiskey and Ethan asks what they’re talking about. Isn’t that clear based on all of Drew’s talking of late?
After a break, Moose yells at Bennett as Maria tells the camera to get out of here.
Here’s Matt Hardy with the contract for the Tag Team Title shot. The titles are decaying and must be saved by his brilliance. This brings out Jeff who sings/speaks the lyrics to his obsolete theme. Matt isn’t sure why Jeff is here so Jeff mentions wrestling for the creatures. Now it’s Rosemary coming out to say they have the titles and won’t be giving them up. Abyss says the destruction of the Hardys will be beautiful and Crazzy Steve shows up to say about the same. Matt promises revenge for Decay stealing Maxill in his vision and vows to eat all of them. Jeff can fight any of them right now and Abyss volunteers.
Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss
After the break six seconds into the match, we come back to see Abyss in control and Matt telling Jeff to delete him. Instead of taking Abyss to field and something about a Spanish speaking gardener, Jeff forearms him in the head and drops the leg between the legs for two. A Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton but Matt says he has to stop being a spot monkey.
Jeff flips Matt off and dives onto Steve, who doesn’t really catch him. Steve comes in and gets clotheslined right back to the floor, allowing Jeff to kick Abyss low and hit him with a chain for two. Abyss better win after that near fall. There’s the chokeslam but Steve mists Abyss by mistake, setting up another Twist of Fate for another two. Matt bites Steve for being in his premonition as the Black Hole Slam puts Jeff away at 11:09.
Rating: D+. Totally overbooked here and the two false finishes were at least one too many. In addition to that (And the stupid break six seconds in. Just come back for the opening bell.), this Matt stuff is annoying. I get that he’s supposed to be all crazy and broken or whatever, but it’s gone so far away from the original idea that it’s just Matt being annoying now instead of being funny or interesting.
Post match Matt says the Decay’s deletion is soon. Jeff, a grasshopper, has many things to learn.
Maria yells at Allie for not knowing that Sienna has a title match as ordered by Billy Corgan. Billy comes in and implies there’s more than one opponent.
Lashley comes up to Mike Bennett, who says he won’t be intimidated. Bennett says Lashley is looking forward to Bound For Glory but needs to be worried about next week.
Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Marti Bell vs. Madison Rayne vs. Allie vs. Jade
Sienna is defending and Allie tries to help her friend out early on, much to Sienna’s annoyance. Jade and Marti are sent outside as Maria comes out. Marti gets back in and gets stomped down with a stunned look whenever Allie tries something. Maria keeps Madison from getting back in as Sienna yells at Allie for trying to help. Allie actually gets in some offense on Marti before we hit a quick finisher parade. A package piledriver knocks Madison out but Allie accidentally hits Sienna with Marti’s baton. Marti hits Allie with it as well, knocking her right onto Sienna for the pin and the title at 4:28.
Rating: D. Why do I have a feeling that this is a way to get the title on Maria so Gail can take it away from her at Bound For Glory? I only ask because that would be one of the least interesting things they can do and would manage to make four straight Knockouts Champions that mean nothing other than a way to get the title back on Gail. Jade was ignored for Gail, Sienna barely defended the thing and Allie isn’t a wrestler. But you know who is? Gail Kim!
The fans chant for Allie.
Aron Rex guarantees that someone will be bound for glory tonight.
Tyrus is a fixer.
Back on the rooftop, Ethan asks Drew why he’s angry. Drew says it’s because Ethan interfered when Drew specifically asked him not to. Ethan thinks that’s on Drew for just not winning so Drew says he’ll hit extra hard next time. They drink a final toast and shake hands but Drew shoves him into the pool.
Moose is leaving when he runs into Lashley driving away. Lashley suggests that Bennett is pulling his strings and tells him where he’ll be having dinner tonight. Moose nods as Lashley drives away.
It’s time for Fact of Life with the X-Division guys as guests. Drake says whoever thought of that battle royal was a dummy but gets to the question of who has no chance to become the next X-Division Champion. Spud says Sutter won’t be it because he’s just a good story. Sutter points out Spud’s braces so Spud goes on a rant against Mandrews for being short, British and having bad hair. DJZ says he’s going to beat Lashley at some point but Drake cuts him off to hit the dummy button a lot. A brawl breaks out and a string of dives leaves DJZ as the only one standing.
So to recap: Lashley destroyed the X-Division Champion then beat DJZ in the match DJZ wanted. Now there’s going to be a big mess of a match (Ultimate X I’d assume) for the title where one of these goons will come out as champion. Lashley doesn’t lose the title, the new champion will be the best of a bunch of losers with no character, and they probably won’t even have to get a pin to become champion. And people wonder why the X-Division is worthless.
The X-Division Title will be decided in an Ultimate X gauntlet match. So just Ultimate X match after Ultimate X match? Or people being added one at a time and the first person to pull down the title wins? Either way, no pinning involved because that might imply someone gets over the others.
Drew Galloway vs. Ethan Carter III
The winner gets the title shot at Lashley and Aron Rex is guest referee. Feeling out process to start with both guys shoving the other away. A double collision puts them both down and we take a break. Back with Drew being knocked to the floor but stopping a dive with a forearm. A Celtic Cross onto the steps makes things worse for Carter and it’s off to a cravate.
Rex hasn’t been a factor so far, making me think that either he turns on someone or one of the guys (probably Drew) turns on him after counting a clean fall. Ethan gets in a Russian legsweep to send Galloway into the buckle and gets two off a powerbomb out of the corner. Drew gets in a Claymore and a powerbomb of his own for two before they chop it out.
The 1%er is broken up and another Claymore gets two more near falls for Drew. Still nothing from Rex. Carter ramps it up with a super 1%er for two but Galloway muscles him up for a Tombstone. Back up and the Futureshock is countered into a jackknife cover to give Carter the pin at 17:26.
Rating: B-. Nothing spectacular here but the ending was clean, as it should be to send someone to the pay per view main event. Galloway’s fall is an interesting story and sets him up as a potentially big time heel down the line. Carter going to the World Title match makes sense and should make for a good main event but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before.
Post match Drew beats Rex down and sends him into the steps for a heel turn.
Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling mostly sucked tonight and while this certainly didn’t need to be a “special” (which they only referred to it as once or twice with no special graphics etc.), it did feel like they were starting the build towards Bound For Glory. Unfortunately that means it’s a very hit and miss card as TNA’s creative isn’t the strongest at the moment. It’s a watchable show but this was much more about the future than anything on the card tonight.
Results
Mike Bennett won a battle royal last eliminating Moose and Eddie Edwards
Abyss b. Jeff Hardy – Black Hole Slam
Allie b. Sienna, Marti Bell, Madison Rayne and Jade – Allie fell on Rayne
Ethan Carter III b. Drew Galloway – Jackknife cover
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Impact Wrestling – July 12, 2016: I Needed A Break
Impact Wrestling Date: July 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s Destination X and that means title for title with World Champion Lashley facing X-Division Champion Eddie Edwards in a winner take all match. Mike Bennett has promised to ruin the whole thing though and there’s also the possibility that Maria Kanellis will do something to further her issues with Dixie Carter. Let’s get to it.
We open with Final Deletion clips, including Jeff Hardy waking up. Matt goes down to the boat and names it Scarsguard as a thank you for saving him last week. Matt takes it out into the water with a bag containing Jeff’s remnants but the drone comes out, carrying the shirt Jeff was wearing to complete the package. Naturally this is continuing.
Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews
Ladder match for the #1 contendership to the X-Division Title because it’s time for the usual suspects to be thrown into a mess of a match so they don’t have to develop in the slightest. Mandrews dives onto the Helms Dynasty as they come to the ring with DJZ doing the same thing for a big crash. DJZ stops Mandrews from grabbing the X but Sutter stops DJZ just as quickly.
Trevor goes for the belt on two ladders but they’re pulled away, forcing him into the splits for a new idea. Spud takes down a bunch of people with a chair but gets kicked in the head. A Sutter powerbomb knocks Lee silly, only to have Spud take him down with a belt to the back. We get the traditional Shane Helms interference to stop DJZ going for the belt, only to have DJZ shove the ladder over with Everett go crashing into the pile. DJZ pulls down the X to win at 5:55.
Rating: C. More of the same from the X-Division with a bunch of bodies flying around and no characters for the most part. It’s basically the second time they’ve done this same match in two weeks after the Ultimate X match last week. Is it too much to ask to go a month or two between “go grab something” matches?
DJZ is proud of his win and promises to go win the title when Mike Bennett jumps him from behind.
Ethan Carter III is ready to fight Drew Galloway because talking is over.
Dixie Carter says they’re moving back “home” to Thursday nights next week with the start of the Bound For Glory Playoffs.
Eddie Edwards and Lashley are in the ring for a face to face showdown. Lashley says the World Title is the heart of Impact Wrestling and he’s the top of the food chain. All Eddie has done is tick him off but Edwards says he’s going to walk out World Champion. Lashley says this isn’t a movie (True. That would be Final Deletion.) and the underdog doesn’t win. The X-Division Title is real life but Lashley beats him down when the Wolves Nation is mentioned for the first time (Good. That name has always sounded stupid.). The spear puts Eddie down and Lashley gets a chair, only to have Davey Richards return for the save.
Abyss has to choke Crazy Steve to calm him down as Steve is losing his mind about Rosemary kissing Bram last week. Tonight Abyss can take care of Bram and everything will be beautiful again.
Back at Matt’s house, he’s invited guests to his private movie theater to watch the Final Deletion. In another room, Reby pulls a book from the wall to open the door to Maxill’s room. She picks up the baby and drops down a fireman’s pole into the theater as we see the family and guests watch last week’s events. More is promised, which means I’ll get another week of being called stupid for not hailing this as the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.
Abyss vs. Bram
Abyss hits some right hands to the ribs in the corner to start before sending him out to the floor for a crash. Steve pulls Bram’s hair out but Bram comes back with some right hands of his own. A chokeslam cuts off a comeback but here’s Rosemary to check on Bram. The distraction lets Bram roll Abyss up for the pin at 4:05.
Rating: D. It was about time to screw with the Decay as the Wolves are apparently back and it’s time to put the titles on them again because they’re the most amazing team in the history of ever and we don’t want Decay getting any more traction than they already have. That’s TNA’s take on things: don’t let anything but the old standard get too big because that might let them go somewhere and that just isn’t how TNA wants things go work. The match was nothing of course.
Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Marti Bell vs. Gail Kim vs. Sienna
Is this the entire division at the moment? Sienna is defending and Gail jumps her on the ramp because this is basically two singles matches at once. Gail is discarded (Don’t worry. She’ll be back to save the division soon enough.) so Sienna can stomp on Marti as Josh promises MORE from Matt’s house at dinner last night.
Marti gets two on Sienna with Gail making the save, followed by a quick Tower of Doom. Jade and Gail dive onto the heels before slugging it out in the ring. Gail avoids a Pele and gets two off a backsplash. All four are back in now with Marti hitting a Pedigree on Jade. Eat Defeat drops Marti but Sienna Pounces Gail to retain at 5:10.
Rating: D. Another four way with no characters, the same moves over and over and Gail Kim being involved because screw “the division”, it’s all about promoting her. We’re just waiting to see her enshrined at this point and probably winning the title back at Bound For Glory so everything can be right.
Matt and his family had dinner and it’s all bizarre and weird and Matt speaks Spanish and it’s not funny or interesting and I don’t care if I’m stupid for not getting it. Next.
Lashley wants Davey Richards at ringside for the title match tonight.
We see the end of the Final Deletion. Again.
Here are Matt and Reby to brag about their win last week. Matt has DELETED Jeff, who Reby brings out and shouts OBSOLETE over and over. Apparently Matt wants to keep Jeff around and bleed every dollar out of him by making him his mule. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Oh yeah this is continuing until Bound For Glory and probably beyond.
DJZ wants Mike Bennett in the ring tonight.
Mike Bennett vs. DJZ
Mike runs him over to start but DJZ fires off right hands. Those go nowhere because he’s a lowly X-Division wrestler and can’t fight a heavyweight. A spinebuster gets two and we hit a chinlock for a few moments. DJZ fights up and headscissors him out to the floor for a flip dive. That’s enough for Bennett as he tries to walk up the ramp, only to be cut off by the X-Division. The distraction lets DJZ grab a rollup for the pin at 5:45.
Rating: D+. There’s your token pin because the X-Division actually matters tonight. The pinfall is nice but I have no reason to believe this is actually going to stick. You know, like it never actually does in TNA. Nothing to see here but that’s almost always the case in TNA around Destination X time.
Post match Bennett yells about wanting to ruin Destination X because that win really didn’t mean much. He promises to burn this place to the ground.
Drew Galloway wants to fight.
Bennett is on the phone and tells someone to get here tonight so they can burn it to the ground.
Here’s Galloway to call Ethan out for a fight, as in not a match. Ethan is ready go to as well and it’s on in a hurry. Drew takes it to the floor but gets suplexed. They trade some chops and Ethan pelts him with a chair. They fight backstage with Ethan getting the better of it until a bunch of people break it up.
Davey tapes up Eddie’s hands for the main event.
X-Division Title/TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley
Both titles are on the line. Lashley shoves him around to start but his suplex is countered into a sleeper. That goes as far as your average sleeper is going to take you so Lashley sends him outside for a suplex on the ramp. Eddie is sent into the steps and we take a break.
Back with Lashley beating Eddie in the corner and choking on the mat until Eddie fights up with a tornado DDT. A low bridge sends Lashley to the floor and there are three straight suicide dives. Back in and Eddie gets two off a sitout spinebuster before kicking Lashley in the eye.
Eddie tries the Boston Knee Party but gets caught in a powerslam with the referee getting bumped. Lashley grabs a chair so here’s Davey for the superkick/brainbuster combo and a near fall. Cue Mike Bennett but MOOSE makes his debut (complete with the Moose name and cool entrance music) to lay out Davey. We’ll call it a no contest at about 15:00.
Rating: B-. As usual, TNA is mostly fine between the bells and only lacks in the story departments. The match was good with a power vs. speed formula that works almost every single time. Eddie is more than good enough in the ring to fight off a monster like Lashley and the ending is intriguing stuff with a big name debuting. Good stuff here and a worthy main event.
Post match Bennett hits Lashley low, allowing Moose to take Lashley out as well.
And now, here’s Dixie Carter to end the show. The fans deserve a winner so there’s a rematch inside Six Sides of Steel with both titles on the line. To recap: a major name just debuted and we wrap it up with Dixie Carter.
Overall Rating: C-. This is a very, very tricky one to grade as I actually had to stop watching for about forty minutes before I went insane. The first half of this show was every single problem TNA had rolled into a single show:
1. X-Division/Knockouts clearly having no effort put in. It’s “here’s the entire division in one match with no characters or story”, just like it’s been for months if not years. The wrestling itself was fine (or as fine as you’re going to get in two matches combining to go ten minutes) but the lack of character development is killing them more and more every single time. There’s nothing different about these people and it shows when they’re thrown out there in one big mess of a match almost every time.
2. Dixie with her “we’re going home” speech. I can’t stand her more and more every time I see her.
3. Matt Hardy all over the show. We’ve seen that clip so many times and it’s being driven into the ground. The feud is clearly continuing and it’s going to be more of the same. If you like it then great, but if you don’t like it, prepare to be stuck sitting there all night long because it’s not going away.
4. TNA fans are going to spend the next week explaining to me about how amazing this was and how stupid I am for disagreeing.
Now that being said, the second half was MUCH better with the wrestling and stories being improvements with characters doing things that make sense for them. The main event was a perfectly acceptable use of the last segment with a new name debuting and a good match building towards it. That’s all well and good, but TNA just has so much bad that drags the good down and there’s almost nothing in the middle. It’s either horrible or good and that gets old in a hurry.
Results
DJZ b. Braxton Sutter, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Mandrews – DJZ pulled down the X
Bram b. Abyss – Rollup
Sienna b. Gail Kim, Jade and Marti Bell – Pounce to Kim
DJZ b. Mike Bennett – Rollup
Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest when Moose interfered
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Impact Wrestling Date: May 3, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
For the first time in a long time, we’re coming up on a pay per view with Slammiversary airing in June. The big stories at the moment are Drew Galloway wanting to fight Lashley, probably in the pay per view main event, and Mike Bennett being the first man to defeat Ethan Carter III which likely sets up a rematch at Slammiversary as well. Now take all of that and forget most of it because it’s time to put the focus back on the Hardy Boyz. Let’s get to it.
Earlier today, Lashley attacked Drew Galloway at the gym and beat the champ down. They wound up in an MMA cage and Lashley knocked him down with one punch but couldn’t choke him out. Eventually some other wrestlers broke it up.
We look at Bennett pinning Carter last week.
Mike and Maria come out with the former bragging about being the one man to finally pull something off that no one else ever could last week. No one in the back can beat him and now he deserves to be World Champion. This brings out Jeff Hardy because of course it does, though at least it’s not so he can yell at Matt. Jeff doesn’t think much of Bennett beating Carter because it just makes him a joke. The fans say Jeff is better and a match is pitched for later tonight. Bennett says he’ll go ask Dixie but Jeff cleans house, prompting Mike to say we’ll do it.
Mike Bennett vs. Jeff Hardy
Joined in progress with Bennett slapping on a chinlock. Jeff fights back with an atomic drop and the legdrop between the legs but here’s Lashley to spear Jeff for the DQ at 1:48.
Bennett gets speared as well because Lashley is going to run through the entire roster until Dixie Carter gives him what he wants. Here’s Dixie who is indignant that Lashley wants to be handed a title shot. She makes Hardy vs. Bennett vs. Lashley for the #1 contendership as tonight’s main event with Drew as guest referee.
Rosemary asks Crazzy Steve is he’s ready for his transformation. He certainly is so she spits something into his mouth. Abyss takes off his mask and gets the same treatment. The stuff seems to burn both of their faces.
Here’s Decay for a chat. Rosemary talks about the team taking the titles from the people’s heroes last week and their transformations. Steve can now speak and talks about how Rosemary has changed him. Rosemary talks about how many people have tried to control Abyss, including his father and brother. Now though he can show his true self, which means he wears paint instead of a mask. Abyss says he’s beautiful and the fans seem to agree. Cue James Storm to say he’s a cowboy who drinks a lot of beer. It’s time for a fight and Decay is quickly dispatched. We’re not done yet though as Storm wants Abyss right now.
Abyss vs. James Storm
Joined in progress as well with Storm getting in a baseball slide to take the brawl outside. Rosemary and Steve go after Storm but neither draws a DQ, likely because of plot convenience. Storm fights back inside with his shots to the face and a bulldog for two. Abyss gets the same off a chokeslam but Storm puts him back down with a Sling Blade, setting up a top rope elbow for another near fall. Steve’s mist doesn’t work but Abyss’ blinds Storm so the Black Hole Slam can put him away at 6:00.
Rating: D+. This was what you would expect and the right ending with Abyss getting a win to confirm the Decay’s new power. I’m starting to like the stuff they’re going with after a long time of feeling like they were just another goth gimmick. If nothing else it’s actually getting more mileage out of Abyss which continues to astound me.
Maria wants Dixie to look at some papers. Jade better be smarter than Gail Kim was.
Jeff Hardy is more concerned about winning the title tonight than Matt.
Here’s Maria to call out Jade for a chat. Maria sees Jade’s star on the rise but thinks she needs to just hand over the title now because Jade wouldn’t be anywhere without her. Jade says no so Maria brings out her friend Sienna to fight the champ. Sienna throws her around to start but Jade gets in a few kicks. They head outside with Jade being sent hard into the steps. Back inside and Sienna gives her something like a spinning Big Ending to leave Jade laying.
Bram says he’s been called a lot of things and now he’s being called champion.
And now, in case you haven’t heard enough talking yet, we have a sitdown interview with Ethan Carter III. Well at least we would if he was here but Bennett comes in to say that Ethan is missing because he’s scared. Tonight he’ll get his title shot no matter what.
King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake vs. Andrew Everett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Jesse Godderz
Bram is defending in a King of the Mountain match, meaning you have to get a pin to become eligible to hang the title. If you pin someone, they’re sent to a penalty box for a minute so there’s some strategy involved. Jesse and Eli trade rollups to start as Everett hides on the floor with Shane Helms. Bram plants Everett with a powerbomb for the pin to become eligible early on.
Eddie grabs a half crab on Drake but Everett breaks it up for no logical reason. Edwards sends him out to the floor and hits a big dive, only to have Drake get in a cheap shot from behind for a rollup and pin to become eligible. Bram sets up a ladder and gets the belt but Jesse dropkicks him down. Drake slams Jesse but the champ comes back in for a Cactus Clothesline.
Everett misses a moonsault and gets caught in the Adonis Lock for a quick submission to make Jesse eligible. Edwards and Everett brawl to the back to leave us with three people. Godderz goes up but Drake pulls him down and hits him in the head with the Feast or Fired briefcase. He takes too long going up though and it’s Bram dropkicking the ladder down, allowing him to hang the title to retain at 7:25.
Rating: D+. I’m just not a fan of these matches and this didn’t change anything. It’s four guys getting title shots for no logical reason and this week the title is defended in a King of the Mountain match after last week’s title change was in a regular match. Just call the thing the TV Title and get rid of this stupid gimmick already because it’s way more complicated than it needs to be.
Drake tries to cash in post match but Bram gets up and chases him off.
Galloway says he’s had a rough day so he’d love to see Lashley try to put his hands on him.
Matt Hardy sits in the shadows and accuses Jeff of trying to remove him from this dimension. Their war isn’t done.
Before the main event, Ethan Carter III comes out to congratulate Bennett on the win. Carter isn’t like the rest of those people who lost to him over the years and then came out here to complain about it. He accepts this loss but it’s changed him. Bennett needs to go and win that World Title because he wants to take the title back from Mike one day. Carter rants about how the loss made him incomplete and kept him from becoming the best wrestler on the planet. He’ll be back for Bennett soon enough.
Jeff Hardy vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett
For the #1 contendership with champion Drew Galloway as guest referee. Drew promises to call this down the middle and we’re finally ready to go. It’s a slow start with both guys going after Lashley who easily powers them away. The big guy is sent outside though and Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind as we go to a break.
Back with Jeff still fighting off both guys but eating a powerslam from Lashley. A long delayed vertical suplex, complete with a point to Galloway, plants Bennett. The spear hits Galloway though, followed by Bennett hitting the cutter on Lashley. Jeff dropkicks Bennett to the floor and adds the Swanton on Lashley for no count.
Bennett is sent face first into the steps over and over, followed by a Swanton onto Bennett on the steps. Cue the Decay for no apparent reason to go after Hardy, including a chokeslam onto the steps. Decay leaves so Lashley spears Jeff into the post for a great looking crash. Another spear gives Lashley the pin and the title shot at 14:02.
Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough at times and I’ll take Decay vs. Jeff over Hardy vs. Hardy any day. Lashley was the obvious winner here and that’s fine but this needed more time instead to really get good. If you take out the commercial and the Decay interference, this was under ten minutes long and that’s really not enough for a big epic match.
Lashley and Drew brawl to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t do it for me as they didn’t even have thirty minutes of wrestling in a two hour show. There was just WAY too much talking on here and even though there was some good stuff built up, you have to actually have something in there instead of just setting up stuff for six weeks from now. I wasn’t feeling this one and the pacing issues really need to be fixed, including less than eight minutes of wrestling in the first seventy five minutes of a show. Big miss this week and that’s not a good sign on the first show of a new taping cycle.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Mike Bennett via DQ when Lashley interfered
Abyss b. James Storm – Black Hole Slam
Bram b. Eli Drake, Andrew Everett, Eddie Edwards and Jesse Godderz – Bram hung the title
Lashley b. Jeff Hardy and Mike Bennett – Spear to Hardy
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Impact Wrestling – March 1, 2016: A Bad Night For The English
Impact Wrestling Date: March 1, 2016
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re getting close to the end of the UK tour and we have one more week before Kurt Angle’s farewell match. The big story here is Rockstar Spud turning on Ethan Carter III last week, costing Carter the TNA World Title against Matt Hardy. Tonight is going to be about Ethan’s revenge against Spud. Let’s get to it.
Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode
Angle starts in with armdrags and works on Roode’s wrist early on. Back up and a knee to the ribs drops Angle for a pair of two’s as they’re clearly going with a main event style formula here. Roode’s front suplex gets two more but Angle suplexes out of a chinlock. We hit the rolling Germans for a bit before the ankle lock goes on for the first time.
Roode kicks away because no one taps out to the first ankle lock and sends Angle into the post to set up the Crossface. Kurt reverses into the ankle lock which is countered into another Crossface, which is countered into the Angle Slam for two. The Roode Bomb gets the same but a second attempt is countered into the ankle lock to make Roode tap out at 8:38.
Rating: B-. Kurt’s Greatest Hits tour continues as he beats someone else who could mean something for TNA because Angle needs this extra dose of praise. That’s been the problem with this whole thing: it’s been about making sure Angle looks as amazing as he can, which is one of the worst things you can do when TNA is in the shape it’s in at the moment. But hey, it’s not like Angle has enough accolades already right? At least the match was good, albeit almost all finishing moves.
Post break, Roode praises Angle and James Storm comes out to do the same. Beer Money gets out the beer but give Angle (and his DUIs) a half gallon of milk instead. They had me worried there for a bit. Angle isn’t done yet either because he wants to see Beer Money vs. the Wolves. Cue the Wolves to praise Angle before accepting the match against Beer Money next week. Storm says polish those belts up.
Here are Matt Hardy and company because this show was actually entertaining for a little bit. Hardy brags about beating Ethan last week and promises that Ethan will never get another shot at the title. Tyrus is just laughably huge behind Matt here. Matt welcomes out Rockstar Spud, now in a leather jacket because he’s a villain and villains wear leather jackets.
Spud doesn’t like the idea of his English fans cheering for Carter and asks for a show of hands of the people there for him when he needed help. We get some praise for Matt, who is the champion this company needs and deserves. Spud says they’ve gotten rid of the cancer but here’s Carter to interrupt. House is quickly cleaned and Spud is left alone with Ethan. The villains runs off but Carter challenges Spud to a fight tonight.
Gail Kim is going to call out Maria.
Post break Dixie Carter yells at Matt and company (that needs a name and I’m sure TNA has 14 of them ready since they haven’t had a heel stable in long enough) and refuses to sanction Ethan vs. Spud for later. They’ll still have the match but it’s going to be unsanctioned. Oh dang they’re fighting without TNA approval. That’s like, scary.
Abyss vs. Jimmy Havoc
No DQ. Havoc goes right after Abyss to start and knocks him to the floor, only to have a trashcan pelted at his head. Abyss sends him into the apron and busts out the cheese grater but Havoc gets his hands up just in time. A table takes too long to set up though and Havoc gets in three trashcan shots to the head for a near fall.
Rosemary offers a distraction though and Abyss throws a chair at Havoc, knocking him off the top and through a table at ringside. The Janice shot misses and Havoc dropkicks Abyss through the table for two. Jimmy brings in the barbed wire board but charges into the Black Hole Slam onto it for the pin at 6:02.
Rating: C-. “Hey! We signed this awesome British wrestler for this tour and we’ve got him in Abyss’ signature match. Let’s put Abyss over!” Such is life in TNA where they manage to make all of the British wrestlers either a heel or a loser because they think people still want to see Abyss doing his hardcore stuff. I’m so sick of these hardcore matches and now they’re not even getting enough time to go anywhere. Bad match and annoying result.
Mike Bennett promises to take care of Drew Galloway tonight.
Carter is going to destroy Spud later.
Here’s Gail Kim to call out Maria. We get the exact same speech about THIS IS WRESTLING and WRESTLING IS SERIOUS that has bored fans every single time over the years but they keep having Gail say the same thing because Gail has no character and is one of the least interesting wrestlers of all time. Anyway she calls out Maria who won’t get in the ring because she has something to say.
Maria talks about Gail wanting to be famous because she married a celebrity chef and had the wedding televised. We hear about Maria being famous for being on Celebrity Apprentice, being in Playboy and working with Donald Trump. However she’s a lady so there won’t be a fight here tonight. Gail goes after her but gets jumped by Jade.
Bram and Eric Young are here for Young’s King of the Mountain Title defense but first of all they have to insult the British fans because none of them know how to fight. Young issues an open challenge.
King of the Mountain Title: Big Damo vs. Eric Young
Damo is a huge hairy man who looks like a cross between Rusev and a lumberjack while weighing well over 300lbs. A running dropkick puts Young on the floor (Josh: “People are already making memes about it!”) and Damo drops an elbow back inside. Back up and Young shrugs off some right hands, only to get slammed down for a backsplash. A powerbomb and another elbow get two on Young, followed by a cross body to crush him again. Damo tries another backsplash but hits knees, setting up the piledriver to retain the title at 3:40.
Rating: D+. Damo looked good but are you impressed with Young yet? I mean he’s crazy and he has a piledriver so that makes him an interesting wrestler and character for sure. As usual, let’s make sure the person who might be a future star for TNA gets beaten by the guy who has been around forever because that will keep the British crowds hot.
Drew promises to make Bennett tap tonight.
Drew Galloway vs. Mike Bennett
Galloway stomps him down in the corner to start but Maria offers a distraction. That goes nowhere though as Mike gets kicked in the face and sent outside for a throat first drop across the barricade. Bennett is sent into the post again but he gets in a shot to Drew’s taped up knee. The more wrestling I watch the more I agree with the “don’t tape it up” announcers because it really is too obvious.
Back in and Drew gets kicked in the face for two and we hit the cross arm choke. Even more kicks to the head have Drew in trouble but he Hulks Up and punches Bennett down. A middle rope clothesline looks to set up the Future Shock but Drew settles for a spinebuster instead. Mike gets in a cutter for two but the Miracle in Progress is countered into the Celtic Cross. There’s the Claymore followed by the Iron Maiden (Drew’s crossface) but Maria breaks it up. Mike grabs a rollup and a handful of trunks at 7:56.
Rating: C. Well at least the right guy won (I think). Bennett could be something interesting but I’m not sure if they should be getting there by having him beat Drew Galloway. Much like WWE, they can’t quite get this whole PUSH SOMEONE NEW right because they knock someone off to get someone else over. TNA is a bit easier to accept though as they barely have anyone left on their roster.
Matt gives Spud a pep talk.
Grado promises proof that he was screwed.
We look back at Angle vs. Lashley I.
Preview for next week’s show.
Rockstar Spud vs. Ethan Carter III
Street fight, meaning our second anything goes match of the night. We see Carter coming to the ring from the back when Tyrus jumps him. Carter beats him back down but Matt runs in as well, only to have Carter shove them into the back of a truck and lock the door. This is joined in progress after a break with Ethan knocking him down the aisle and throwing him into the barricade.
They get inside for the first time with Spud choking with his shirt but Carter kicks him in the shoulder for a comeback. Back to the floor now and Spud tries a running chair shot to the face but Carter stops him with a raised boot. Carter hits the TK3 and loads up a table. Spud can’t crawl away in time and has to settle for a low blow. Some left hands don’t do much for Spud as Carter grabs the hand and powerbombs him through the table. A cobra clutch with a bodyscissors has Spud tapping until he taps out. Referees come out to break it up to end the show as this is a no contest (remember not an actual match) at about 9:00.
Rating: D+. This was as entertaining as Carter squashing Spud for nine minutes was going to be. As usual, the problem here is TNA turning someone heel to advance a storyline and making them a lackey for whoever the big heel is at the moment. Yeah Spud is a heel now and he just got crushed but at least Matt is still World Champion, minus an opponent of course.
Overall Rating: C. Not their best effort tonight but at least it’s a big step up over the previous few weeks. The problem here is the same one they’ve had in a long time now: it seems to be more about setting up either a feud we’ve seen before or about praising the old guard who are either leaving or barely around anymore. Unfortunately, I have no real reason to believe TNA will keep things going as they have almost no ability to maintain momentum.
Results
Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode – Ankle lock
Abyss b. Jimmy Havoc – Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board
Eric Young b. Big Damo – Piledriver
Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud went to a no contest
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Impact Wrestling – January 26, 2016: The Annual Jeff Hardy Injury Show
Impact Wrestling Date: January 26, 2016 Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
Tonight is a special show with the annual Feast or Fired match. In other words, there are four briefcases hung above the ring. You climb a corner and grab a briefcase and try your luck. Three cases contain title shots (World Title, Tag Team Title and King of the Mountain Title) and one pink slip. The big moment is then finding out who has what. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the last man standing match with Matt Hardy beating Ethan Carter III for the World Title in a double turn.
Here’s Jeff Hardy to open things up. He saw what happened last week and it made him sick. That’s why he needs answers right now so the new World Champion needs to get out here right now. Matt’s new music starts off with him saying “I AM ICONIC.” Oh sweet goodness this is going to be a long day. Matt comes out with his wife Reby Sky and Tyrus, who is carrying Matt’s son. Jeff says this is a family issue so it needs to be just the two of them.
Reby laughs that off because she and Matt are a real family. Where was Jeff when the world was turning their back on Matt? It’s time for Matt to stop giving and start taking. Jeff calls all of them some rather rude names and starts a WHY MATT WHY chant. Matt laughs off the fans and says it’s not his fault that Jeff is a cripple. Now Jeff is just the other Hardy and that’s not something he’s going to be able to understand. However, Jeff is now cleared to wrestle so what about a title match tonight? Matt shakes his head and says he washes his hands of everything that happens tonight.
The roster talks about Feast or Fired and explains the basic concept.
Matt vs. Jeff is announced for later with the title on the line.
Feast or Fired
James Storm, Robert Roode, Aiden O’Shea, Bram, Drew Galloway, Chris Melendez, Eric Young, Grado, Jesse Godderz, Robbie E., Eli Drake, Rockstar Spud
Eric is King of the Mountain Champion so he might get a shot at his own title. It’s a huge brawl to start with various people trying to go up after the briefcases but being pulled back down. Robbie dives over the top to dive onto Jesse. Melendez, now in long pants to hide his metal leg, clotheslines Aiden to the floor but gets suplexed by Eric. Roode hits a Blockbuster on Bram but Spud escapes the Roode Bomb. The second attempt sends Spud flying over the top onto a pile of people and the ring is cleared out. Grado crotches O’Shea to make a save and goes up to pull down the first briefcase as we take a break.
Back with everyone still brawling, including Drew clotheslining Bram and Eric down at the same time. Drake ties Galloway in the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a German suplex to throw Eli down and grab another briefcase. Young and Spud go up but O’Shea pulls Spud down. Eric goes after Robbie instead and we get a Tower of Power (no longer Doom for some reason) with Melendez powerbombing the two of them down. A bad looking hurricanrana from Storm puts O’Shea down and Roode adds a top rope splash.
Jesse clotheslines Beer Money down but gets caught going up. The distraction lets Drake go up and pull down a third case. Bram and Young are the only ones left in the ring but beat up Melendez and Spud instead of climbing. The delay allows Beer Money to come in and clean house but Roode gets knocked off the top by Eric. Storm hits a Backstabber to pull Young off the top, followed by a Last Call to Bram. Roode gets back in and tells Storm to go get the case to end the match at 16:05.
Rating: D+. I never know how to rate this thing as it’s so all over the place and you only kind of have winners since eight people don’t win and a fourth is out of the company. The match didn’t have any major high spots because we’re just kind of waiting around until the last case is brought down by the fourth winner.
Kurt Angle checks on Jeff Hardy, who says he’s tired of Reby being in Matt’s ear lately. Yeah screw that wife nonsense.
X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Mandrews vs. DJZ
Tigre is defending. It’s all over the place to start with the champ being sent outside, leaving Mandrews to backflip away from a charge and knock DJZ down with a dropkick. Tigre comes back in and rolls up DJZ while he’s backsliding Mandrews. That’s followed by an Indian Deathlock on DJZ and a Gory Stretch on Mandrews at the same time, only to have the champ sent outside again.
DJZ dropkicks Tigre off the apron and scores with a big flip dive, followed by Mandrews’ skateboarding down the ramp into a headscissors spot. Back in and DJZ gets two off a reverse hurricanrana on Mandrews. Tigre gets up and throws DJZ out, setting up a Spanish Fly (top rope C4) for the pin on Mandrews at 6:26.
Rating: C. DO SOMETHING NEW! I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen these people fight and I never need to see it again. They’ve reached the point where you can call the spots because they’ve done them so many times. From what I can find, Tigre has had one singles title defense since July. Everything else has been a multi-man title defense and each one has had DJZ involved. Bring in some jobbers or something but find a way to make this more interesting.
Post match Gregory Helms comes out to say this company was built on the X-Division but Tigre’s time as champion is over. Apparently that means a title match next week.
Awesome Kong tells the Dollhouse to stay in the back while she takes someone to school.
Eli Drake is worried about what’s in his briefcase. Godderz tells him not to worry so Drake unlocks the case and teases looking inside.
Angle comes up to see Tyrus and Matt to ask what’s going on. Matt says he’s building a brand but Angle says that brand is tearing this company down. That’s not cool with Matt because Kurt is one of the two people he respects so don’t ruin that.
Awesome Kong vs. Velvet Sky
Sky hits a quick jawbreaker and starts kicking away at the leg because that’s what everyone does to giants. A clothesline drops Velvet to the floor and the ring skirt is pulled off on the way down. Back in and Velvet fires off more kicks to the leg but has to avoid a splash. Sky gets two off a running bulldog but gets run over with ease. Now the splash connects, followed by the Implant Buster for the pin at 3:40.
Rating: D. Just a squash here, even though Kong already lost the big showdown with Kim. As usual, this division is little more than a stable war with Gail Kim on top because she’s almost always Knockouts Champion. It feels like we’ve seen this same stuff for years now and I have no idea what I’m supposed to get out of all this stuff all over again.
Post match Kong goes after Sky even more but Madison Rayne runs in. This brings out the Dollhouse for the real beatdown, capped off by Kong’s middle rope splash to Sky.
The Wolves want to fight Abyss/Crazzy Steve for the sneak attack last week.
It’s time for the Feast or Fired reveal because waiting until next week is a bad idea around here. Before we get the openings, Michael Bennett and Maria come in and say one of these guys is going to need a miracle. He’s always in for a good train wreck though so he’s going to sit back and watch. Drew isn’t cool with that because he’s not the kind of a guy who is going to stand around waiting on something to happen. Galloway says Maria is the brains of the outfit and a fight is teased but Mike and Maria leave. Back to the reveals with Drake volunteering to go first. Inside his case: King of the Mountain Title shot. We’ll finish this later.
The Wolves want Crazzy Steve out here right now to get their title back from Crazzy Steve and whoever helped him steal them last week (it was pretty clearly Abyss). A woman comes out in something like a Harley Quinn outfit saying everything will decay. This brings out Crazzy Steve, followed by Abyss as we take a break.
Wolves vs. Abyss/Crazzy Steve
This is joined in progress and it’s not clear if the titles are on the line. Abyss splashes Eddie in the corner and brings in Steve to fishhook the jaws. It’s quickly back to Abyss who allows the tag to Davey but takes him down just as fast. Steve comes back in and bites Davey’s boot, which apparently hurts.
Not that it matters as Davey kicks him off and brings in Eddie to clean house. Steve bites his way out of the Backpack Stunner but gets thrown into the air for the kick to the chest. The creepy woman appears on the stage with the titles though to distract Davey, leaving Eddie to take the Black Hole Slam. Steve mists Davey and that’s a DQ at 6:03.
Rating: D+. Well I guess it’s better than nothing. They have to build up someone to feud with the Wolves after most of the other teams have left. However, it’s pretty clear that we’re going to see Beer Money vs. the Wolves in the big showdown at some point so this is really just a filler. At least it’s better than two generic guys though.
Post match Steve puts Davey in the crossface chickenwing while the woman bites Richards’ shoulder.
Back to the briefcase reveals as JB explains the rules for probably the fifth time. Storm goes next and promises to give Roode the World Title shot if he finds it. James is distraught by what he finds but it’s a Tag Team Title shot. Drew opens his case and finds the World Title shot, meaning Grado is fired, which takes a second to kick in. A lot of sadness ensues until Grado leaves the room.
TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Matt is defending and is now named Big Money Matt during the big match intros. The bell rings but here’s Eric freaking Young to yell about how he should get the title shot. As he yells, Bram comes in from behind and the beatdown is on. Officially the “match” ended at 39 seconds but there was never any contact.
Matt leaves Jeff to get beaten down and Young pulls out a chair. Beer Money makes the save but Steve and Abyss run in to keep the villains in control. Roode and Storm clear them out as well but the four of them head up the ramp, leaving Matt to stand over Jeff. Cue Kurt Angle but Tyrus decks him from behind. Matt and company leave, allowing Eric to piledrive Jeff through the table to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Well they certainly didn’t bore me tonight. The Hardys fighting isn’t interesting to me in the slightest and you could tell it wasn’t going anywhere tonight because they’re coming up on the European tour, meaning it’s time for Jeff to go away for a little while. The rest of the show was all over the place and they did a good enough job with Feast or Fired, though again one of the same issues comes through: TNA doesn’t know how to take their time.
Matt vs. Jeff and Feast or Fired could have been built up for weeks but instead they’re both blown off in the span of a single night. Slow things down for a bit and let these stories build up so there’s a bit more, forgive me, impact. This happens way too often around here and it gets annoying as almost nothing has the chance to build up and give you a big payoff.
Results
Grado, Drew Galloway, Eli Drake and James Storm won Feast or Fired
Tigre Uno b. DJZ and Mandrews – Spanish Fly to Mandrews
Awesome Kong b. Velvet Sky – Implant Buster
Wolves b. Abyss/Crazzy Steve via DQ when Steve sprayed mist in Davey’s face
Jeff Hardy b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Bram interfered
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Impact Wrestling – November 18, 2015: It Keeps Going And Going And Going And Going
Impact Wrestling Date: November 18, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We’re getting closer to the end of the preliminaries and you can see most of the winners from here. It should make things a lot more interesting now that some people are eliminated and we can get down to the real contenders instead of pretending that so many people with no chance are still alive. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week and a preview of this week.
The announcers recap everyone who has already advanced.
Group Knockouts: Brooke vs. Awesome Kong
The winner advances. Brooke goes after her to start but Kong goes after her broken hand. Kong pulls Brooke up by the hand and then punches her down as this is one sided so far. The Implant Buster is broken up and Brooke tries a choke, only to be set away with ease. A low facebuster gets two on Kong but she grabs Brooke off the top for an AA. Brooke avoids a splash and the Butterface Maker gets two more. For some reason Brooke tries a suplex, earning herself a chokeslam to send Kong to the round of 16 at 6:13.
Rating: D+. This was just about every Kong match you’ve seen lately and was there any doubt that Kong and Kim were going to advance out of the group? It makes the most sense, though it didn’t make for the most interesting drama in the group as Brooke and Madison fell apart after the opening weeks. Kong basically squashed her here though and that’s the best idea all around.
Group Knockouts
Gail Kim – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Awesome Kong – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Brooke – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Madison Rayne – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
We get a sitdown interview with Matt Hardy and Ethan Carter III (in separate locations). Matt brags about sweeping the Tag Team Specialists group which has the top talent in the world right now. Carter says if Matt was as great as he thinks he is, he would be in a real group like Group Champions. Instead Matt is navel lint and this series doesn’t end until Ethan wins.
Matt wants Ethan in the round of sixteen because he took away the greatest night of Matt’s career. Now Matt wants to take everything away from Carter, starting with that undefeated streak. Carter doesn’t care what round he meets Matt in because it’s a guaranteed victory. Ethan yells about Matt a lot and walks out of the interview.
Eric Young says James Storm would be better off not showing up tonight because Storm is a shadow of his former self.
Back from a break and we see the end of the interview again. We’ll hear more from both later.
Group X-Division: Manik vs. Tigre Uno
If Tigre wins, it’s a three way tie with Manik and DJZ, forcing a playoff. Tigre takes him down with a dive to start but Manik rolls away to avoid a second one. What looks like an Asai moonsault is broken up and Manik suplexes him on the ramp. Back in and Manik goes for the mask, followed by three straight suplexes for two.
Manik cranks on the arm as the announcers actually bring up the X-Division Title, which has now gone well over a month without being defended, just like every other title in this company. Tigre avoids a swanton but walks into a wheelbarrow gutbuster for two. Uno slams him back down and a quick split legged corkscrew moonsault out of the corner gives Tigre the pin at 7:00.
Rating: C. Just in case you haven’t had enough of this tournament yet, NOW WE GET A PLAYOFF! I’m not sure how you have a three man playoff as the logical way would be to have a triple threat and whoever takes the fall is out, but I’m sure this is going to result in multiple matches to make sure we fill in as much TV time as possible. At least the champ didn’t get pinned again so it’s not infuriating all over again. Manik working on the arm was fine, even if it didn’t lead anywhere. It was nice to see some psychology in an X-Division match for a change though so I’ll take what I can get where I can get it.
Group X-Division
DJZ – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Manik – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Tigre Uno – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Mandrews – 0 points (0 matches remaining)
Video on Group TNA Originals.
Next week it is indeed a triple threat but under elimination rules. So we have a double elimination match in the playoff of the round robin tournament to advance to the round of sixteen in the knockout tournament. YOU THINK THIS MIGHT BE A BIT OVERBOOKED???
Pope and Josh play that bubble burst game.
Roode says he’ll do whatever it takes to win.
Group TNA Originals: James Storm vs. Eric Young
Winner advances. Young attacks Storm during the recap videos and we take a break ten seconds in. Dang it stop doing that! Back with Young in full control and stomping away. We hit a neck crank and chinlock for a bit on Storm until he comes back with an enziguri and Closing Time.
Storm is wrestling like a face here because the whole trying to kill Mickie James is forgettable. No really, that story didn’t have any staying power and Mickie was fine in like a week. The piledriver and the Eye of the Storm are both broken up and but a quick ref bump allows Young to kick Storm low. A piledriver sends Young to the round of sixteen at 10:16.
Rating: D+. Who knew Storm had turned face for this thing? Not that it matters as he’s going out soon enough anyway, which makes it a good thing that they didn’t push him forward. Instead we get Young, who has improved quite a bit in recent months. He’s still nothing great, but I’ll take this version over HE’S JUST SO CRAZY any day.
Group TNA Originals
Eric Young – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Abyss – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Bobby Roode – 3 points (1 match remaining)
James Storm – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Preview of next week’s matches.
More with Matt Hardy as he talks about proving haters wrong, which he can’t wait to do to Ethan. He’s going to win the feud with Ethan no matter what it takes and win the World Title as a bonus. Matt vacated the title so we could proceed with business as normal. Yeah because going the better part of three months with one story and nothing but a massive tournament is normal.
Finally, he picks Roode tonight and would love to face him in the future. This has been your weekly reminder that Matt Hardy is the most interesting wrestler in the world and he’s a former World Champion and he got screwed out of the title and he WILL NOT DIE, no matter what people think. Except for TNA who will forget him when Jeff is back.
Group Wild Card: Aiden O’Shea vs. Mahabali Shera
The taped schedule rears its ugly head again as Shera has gone from all serious in his recent interviews to the dancer again here. Shera does his dancing to start before grabbing a headlock which O’Shea needs the rope to break. Off a headlock? O’Shea stomps him down in the corner but stops for some shadow boxing. More punches actually connect with Shera but he slams O’Shea off the top. Aiden misses another right hand and the Sky High gives Shera a sweep of the group at 4:51.
Rating: D-. Shera’s entire offense here was right hands, a headlock, a slam and the Sky High. That’s it. He did four moves in an entire match, assuming you don’t count the dancing. This is the kind of match that I really don’t need to see, but it’s going to get even worse when Shera gets a huge push because the show is in India next month. He has some charisma but he needs to expand his offense beyond someone in their fourth month of wrestling school.
Group Wild Card
Mahabali Shera – 9 points (0 matches remaining)
Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Kenny King – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)
Group Future 4: Eli Drake vs. Crimson
Crimson throws him down to start and grabs a chinlock inside the first minute. Drake sends him shoulder first into the post for two, followed by a flying armbar for one. The match is dull enough that Ethan Carter III interrupts for his interview but then storms off when it’s not his time. Crimson fights up with some ax handles to the face, only to have his bad arm snapped across the top rope. A shoulder breaker from Eli sets up a standing armbar…..for the submission at 5:16. I didn’t see that one coming.
Rating: D+. The ending was surprising and the match wasn’t bad (third arm/hand injury of the show aside) but this is a great example of a match that I have no desire to watch. That’s one of the major problems with this tournament: we have to cover all these matches that aren’t interesting and hear the announcers go on and on about how these people could be World Champion. It wasn’t bad but totally uninteresting.
Group Future 4
Eli Drake – 7 points (0 matches remaining)
Micah – 4 points (1 match remaining)
Jesse Godderz – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Crimson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)
Ethan Carter III is STILL talking about Matt Hardy because much like Matt, this feud WILL NOT DIE, even if people stopped caring a long time ago. Carter wants to beat Matt in any round and promises to win the title back because he’s still undefeated.
We recap the night so far.
Pope picks his winners for next week.
Group TNA Originals: Bobby Roode vs. Abyss
Winner advances. The threat of a chokeslam has Roode in early trouble but he fires off some running clotheslines. Abyss shows him how to do a clothesline but still can’t get the chokeslam. He settles for a big side slam and we take a break. Back with Abyss clotheslining him to the floor and wedging a chair into the corner. Pope accurately says this never works out as Abyss runs Roode over again and puts on a neck crank.
We’re under five minutes to go as Roode fights up and scores with a clothesline. A Blockbuster gets two for Roode and he sends Abyss arm first into the chair. The Crossface has Abyss in trouble but he makes the ropes in a hurry. Abyss scores with a chokeslam for two and it’s Janice time. As is the case EVERY SINGLE TIME, it gets stuck in the turnbuckle, setting up a spinebuster from Roode for the pin at 13:15.
Rating: C. You really can see the difference between the levels of talent on this show. Roode continues to be solid in the ring and Abyss, while dumb as a bag of hammers at times, can still put on a good enough match for something like this. Roode advancing is of course the right call but I can’t picture him getting beyond the semifinals.
Group TNA Originals
Eric Young – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Bobby Roode – 6 points (0 matches remaining)
Abyss – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
James Storm – 3 points (0 matches remaining)
Overall Rating: D. Yes I understand that TNA has a lot of action on their show and I understand that a lot of fans like that. Yes I also understand that if I criticize TNA for anything, their fans interpret it as me being negative and not giving them the fair chance that they deserve.
I’ve been watching TNA for years now (unlike most people who gave up on it a long time ago) and this is as hard as it’s ever been to sit through. These shows feel like they’re longer than Raw could ever hope to be with one average to lame match after another as we continue to inch closer towards the real tournament. It’s probably going to get better then but the three months it’s taking to get there is killing this company.
This idea has gone on for months now and unless there’s a big curveball coming, it’s going to end with some combination of Matt Hardy, Drew Galloway and Ethan Carter III in the final, meaning the whole thing has been one big circle until we’re right back where we were around Bound For Glory. TNA needs to do something big to validate all the time and effort they’ve spent on this and putting the title on someone who has held it since June or another nostalgia story of a 40 year old who wants one last run at glory isn’t it. The tournament may appeal to some, but I’m certainly not one of them.
Results
Awesome Kong b. Brooke – Chokeslam
Manik b. Tigre Uno – Split legged corkscrew moonsault
Eric Young b. James Storm – Piledriver
Mahabali Shera b. Aiden O’Shea – Sky High
Eli Drake b. Crimson – Standing armbar
Bobby Roode b. Abyss – Spinebuster
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Genesis 2006 Date: November 19, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay
We just looked at the rematch of Joe vs. Angle, so now let’s look at the original. That’s the main event obviously, in Angle’s TNA debut match. As I said in the previous show, this isn’t something that makes you think big show. What’s even stupider is that Angle was at the previous show, Bound For Glory, as a guest referee while Joe had a pointless Monster’s Ball match. Then again this is TNA so logic is pretty much thrown out. Let’s get to it.
The opening video talks about how it’s a new age, comparing this to the first steps on the moon. Now we have opera music. It’s all about Angle vs. Joe of course with a little bit about the world title match and even some about LAX. They’re on the poster so they do need some coverage. As always, this video goes on WAY too long, running almost three and a half minutes. Dave Penzer being heard we’ve fifteen seconds from going live is a nice touch.
Kazarian/Maverick Matt/Johnny Devine vs. Voodoo Kin Mafia
The three guys that would become Seretonin are in their new look now but have only been talking about their redeemer who would later be revealed as Raven. The Mafia is now at WAR with WWE. Tenay flat out says they’re going after Vince and it would only get worse. The fans chant that DX sucks. Anyway, Roadie, the guy only famous for being in DX, starts off with Matt.
BG (Road Dogg) gets taken into the corner and the heels alternate on him to take over. They tease the white shirt wearing Kip to allow more triple teaming. They’re flying through this match so it’s not going to last long. BG gets in a shot and hot tags Kip. Kip cleans house and uses a Pedigree as Tenay talks about the War. Devine jumps off the top but gets caught in the cobra clutch slam for the pin.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but anything that furthers this idiotic angel isn’t a good thing. As I said in the Turning Point review, I have no idea what they thought they were proving with this thing, but it would result in them “invading” a house show which they claimed was the same thing as DX invading WCW in 1998.
BG says the ground war begins on Thursday. Tenay: “I know where I’m going to be Thursday night! Watching Impact on TV!” These jokes write themselves.
We run down the rest of the card in TNA tradition.
Kaz and Matt bring back Devine whose head is now covered. And here’s Raven in a white suit. West sounds like he’s seeing a bluejay in a park. Devine gets on his knees so he can be beaten with a kendo stick.
Shane Douglas and the Naturals talk about beating up Team 3D and putting them through a table. Tonight they’re facing….Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt.
The Naturals vs. Sonjay Dutt/Jay Lethal
The X guys have Jerry Lynn with them. The Naturals are Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas for those of you unfamiliar, which is probably a lot of you. They shout about Team 3D for most of the match. Stevens tries what would have been an AWESOME sunset bomb to the floor but Lethal saves himself. The Naturals are rammed together and sent to the floor so the X guys hit stereo dives to take them out.
Back inside and the smaller guys hit some incredibly fast paced double teaming on Stevens who plays the heel in peril. There’s a rarity for you. Off to Douglas (no relation to Shane) who hits Lethal low to take over. Off to a seated abdominal stretch on Lethal. Back up and a jumping knee to the face puts Lethal down for two.
Stevens comes in and stops Jay’s comeback with a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Hot tag to Dutt and he speeds things way up. What was supposed to be a seated senton hits Douglas and Lethal hits the Lethal Combination for two on Chase. Shane interferes so that a missile dropkick/powerbomb combo can get the pin. The powerbomb was awkward but it worked.
Rating: C-. The match was fine but I have no idea what the point of it was. The Naturals talked about Team 3D for awhile but they were nowhere in sight, so what was the point of the reference? Shouldn’t the return of Team 3D happen here for the beatdown after this match happened on Impact? I don’t get it but whatever. Also, it’s better than a bikini contest. Not a bad match, just not interesting.
LAX rants about Petey Williams stopping the flag burning on Impact. Konnan goes on an anti-military rant for some reason and says no one can stop them from burning a flag tonight because they have rights.
We recap Daniels vs. Sabin. Daniels is the honorable champion, Sabin is the whiny punk challenger. That’s about it.
Daniels says that he and AJ are cool after Daniels took the title from him on Thursday.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Christopher Daniels
This is Daniels’ first defense. Sabin slaps him in the face a few times to get on Daniels’ nerves. Daniels grabs a wristlock and Sabin spins out of it but winds up slapping the champ again. Daniels tries the same thing but with a right hand instead of a slap, but Sabin blocks it and pokes Daniels in the eyes. The match turns into a fast paced gymnastics routine resulting in Sabin bailing to the floor.
Back in it’s another counter routine, resulting in Daniels having his foot on the back of Sabin’s head and driving it into the mat. Daniels tries a sunset flip but when he goes for the shoulder to the ribs to set it up, Sabin kicks him in the face and dropkicks him to the floor. A double ax to the floor has the champ in trouble. This is a chess match with neither guy being able to get an extended advantage.
Sabin drops him throat first over the barricade which gets two back in. I think we have our first advantage here. A running one footed dropkick to the back of a seated Daniels’ head gets two. Off to a nerve hold and Daniels rubs Sabin’s hand in a manner that needs a bad romance song. The champion tries a spinning springboard cross body but Sabin ducks. West compares Sabin to Kobe Bryant for some reason. The analogy of raw talent followed by attitude makes sense, but I don’t remember Bryant ever choking Kevin Garnett over the middle rope with his knee.
Sabin puts him in the Tree of Woe and hits a hesitation dropkick. Now he throws in some chairs while telling West to shut his mouth. Here’s Styles to pull out the chairs and tick Sabin off. With Daniels still in the Tree of Woe, Sabin tries a baseball slide but Daniels pulls himself up in a situp. Sabin slides to the floor and Daniels comes off the top with a HUGE dive to take Sabin out.
STO puts Sabin down and he puts Sabin up on the top. A kind of sitout slam off the top gets two. Release Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME but Sabin kicks him in the head to break the momentum. A springboard DDT gets two for Sabin. I can’t say Chris because it might get a bit confusing so I’m sorry for constantly using the same two names. Roaring Elbow misses for Sabin and Daniels hits a running enziguri.
He tries a rana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two. Sabin goes up for another DDT but jumps into a Death Valley Driver. BME hits but only gets two. Angel’s Wings is countered and Sabin hits a dragon screw leg whip. Cradle Shock is countered into a crucifix for two. Sabin loads up something that looks like the start of a Razor’s Edge but Daniels rolls out of it and hooks Sabin’s feet for the rollup pin.
Rating: A-. I don’t usually like Daniels matches but I was WAY into this one. The long running string of counters and both guys knowing each other so well was really working for me. Sabin could fly with the best of them and that’s what he did here. Styles coming out didn’t really need to happen but it only lasted about ten seconds so it wasn’t a huge deal. Really good match here and maybe the best Daniels match I’ve ever seen.
Jerry Lynn comes out post match to demand Sabin shake Daniels’ hand but it’s not happening. Ok yes it is….and there’s the Cradle Shock out of it instead.
We get a clip from Paparazzi Productions where Shelley and Starr say they can give Nash at least 90% out there tonight. Nash says if they follow him, they could have careers like those of Don Kernoodle, George South, Reno Riggins, Lazer Tron, Nelson Royal, George Scott, Porkchop Cash and Italian Stallion. Funny stuff but it probably went over the head of most of the audience.
Paparazzi Productions vs. Ron Killings/Lance Hoyt
No idea why this match is happening but it’s probably something like a squash match with some extra time. Nash is on commentary and talks about defending his X Title in Japan last night after messing up a 375 but winning anyway. Truth and Shelley start things off. They go to a test of strength with Shelley taking the hands down to the mat and stomping on Truth’s fingers.
Killings comes back with his gyrations so Shelley imitates Rick Rude right back at him. Off to Starr who dances some more. This needs to get going. Truth misses a charge and Aries (Starr) dances again. Truth hits the first big move in the four minutes this match has been running in the form of a powerslam. Off to Big Lance for some double teaming. Big boot gets two. One armed flapjack puts Austin down.
Hoyt loads up a moonsault but Shelley breaks it up and Lance is put in the Tree of Woe. With Truth trying to come in and distracting the referee, the Paparazzi hit a double neckbreaker while Hoyt is still upside down. Shelly holds the knees down so Starr can hit a slingshot hilo for two. They work on the knee for a bit and a slingshot corkscrew splash gets two.
Shelley comes in and does the jump into the boots spot (missing the feet almost entirely) and there’s the tag to Truth. The fans aren’t all that thrilled here. Truth causes heel miscommunication and hits his suplex into a Stunner spot for two on Shelley. Hoyt comes back in for a modified What’s Up (appropriate no?) and everything breaks down. Hoyt loads up a DVD but the Paparazzi take out the knee. Starr tries a suicide dive to Truth who is on the concrete. Shelley frog splashes the knee and calls for the camera. The delay lets Hoyt roll him up for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but there was too much dancing for my taste. I don’t know if this was supposed to be a comedy match that just wasn’t funny or what but it didn’t really work. It wasn’t all that bad, but again I don’t think the real idea of what they were going for with Nash and the X guys ever made much sense.
We recap Christian vs. AJ. Christian debuted a year ago at this show and has never been pinned or submitted despite losing the world title. The loss in King of the Mountain made him turn heel. AJ got tired of his whining so here’s a match between them.
Christian says he doesn’t make mistakes and talks about AJ jumping him during the preshow because AJ needs an advantage to have a chance. Christian faces his challengers like a man and JB rolls his eyes. Cage doesn’t like that but cuts himself off from yelling. AJ is #1 on Christian’s hit list and we hear about how awesome Christian has been lately.
Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles
I miss Christian’s ridiculous costumes. AJ is looking extra jacked here for some reason. The fans are split as you would expect. They lock up and roll around the ropes as they jockey for position. They fight over control on the mat now using technical stuff which is always fun to see. Since no one can really get an advantage there, AJ slaps him in the face. AJ does the drop down into the dropkick and Christian is getting frustrated.
Christian shoulder blocks him down and it’s a stalemate. The crowd is extra loud for this one. Now AJ runs him over with a shoulder of his own for two. The fans chant CLB and Christian takes over a bit, using an elbow and some chops. Full nelson attempt fails and the Unprettier gets the same result. AJ sets for the Clash but Christian bails to the floor. He goes for a chair but Slick Johnson stops him.
Back in AJ hits a flapjack for two as things speed up. Christian heads to the floor again to slow things down but AJ hits a huge dive to take him out. His legs hit the railing as well though with a sick sound. Back inside that gets two and Styles is wincing from the leg. Christian slides back outside again and gets kicked into the barricade, but as AJ tries a slingshot dive, Christian hooks his feet to send AJ crashing legs first into the apron and shift momentum.
Off to a chinlock with Christian’s knee in AJ’s back, followed by the reverse DDT into a backbreaker for two. I’m not sure why he’s working on the back instead of the knee. Back to the chinlock and Christian puts him on the mat. AJ does the always cool nipup into the rana for two. He misses a splash in the corner though and walks into a belly to back suplex for two. Back to the chinlock but AJ elbows up and hits the fireman’s carry flip onto the knee.
A Low Down misses and both guys are down. Now Christian goes up but AJ snaps off a rana to put both guys down again. They slap it out and AJ starts his comeback. Dropkick sets up a knee drop for two. The springboard into the DDT gets two and Styles goes up. He jumps over Christian but runs into a spear for two. Unprettier and Styles Clash are both countered but the Pele connects for two. AJ tries a springboard rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for a pair of twos. Christian throws in a chair but Daniels runs out to pull it out. It’s a tug of war and AJ tries a sunset flip, but Christian drops down onto him for the pin.
Rating: B. This was a pretty solid match and the ending played into the angle from earlier and also would further the angle that AJ was going into around this time. Christian basically got a clean win here as the chair had been dropped by the time the cover happened. As usual, at the end of the day just putting on a good wrestling match is the best thing you can do.
Daniels and AJ almost get into a fight but the X guys and Rhyno come out. Rhyno wants a mic and says that he and Christian used to be friends but started fighting, and it started just like this. He wants a handshake but AJ says if he needs a psychiatrist, he’ll call Dr. Phil.
AMW says they’re not worried about LAX and says that Gail Kim is a tough mamacita. LAX wants to burn a flag and AMW isn’t cool with that. Gail looks REALLY good in blue. Storm says a lot of racist things and their match is up next.
We recap the tag title match which is what I just explained.
Tag Titles: LAX vs. America’s Most Wanted
LAX has the titles. Konnan says TNA and Cornette can’t stop him from burning the flag tonight or there’s going to be a lawsuit. AMW jumps them and the brawl starts on the floor. I think the match has started but I’m not really sure. AMW double teams Homicide in the ring and throws him on top of Hernandez on the floor. Things settle down with Harris vs. Hernandez. Harris pounds him down but can’t hang with the power so it’s off to Homicide.
Hernandez comes back in very quickly and hooks a one arm chinlock. The champs tag very quickly as Homicide chops on Harris so Hernandez can choke him on the floor. Off to a Homicide chinlock which sounds like police jargon. Harris comes back with a spinebuster and both guys are down. Storm (looking really strange without the beard) starts a USA chant before he gets the hot tag.
Hernandez throws him over the top but Storm skins the cat and comes back with a headscissors. James has to fight both of them at once and Harris saves him from the Border Toss. Harris comes in and hits something like a hybrid between a Thesz Press and a shoulder block to take SuperMex down. Suplex gets two. Homicide runs in for a tornado DDT to take Harris down.
Storm comes in but I don’t think there was a tag. That brazen cheater. AMW loads up the Death Sentence but Hernandez makes the save. He goes up top and grabs Harris by the throat, throwing him over his head in a choking belly to belly superplex for two. Hernandez hits a powerbomb to set up a Homicide frog splash for two.
Gringo Killa is escaped and AMW hits something like a Hart Attack for two. Enziguri from Storm to Hernandez and Harris adds a top rope clothesline to take the big guy down. Death Sentence hits but Konnan has the referee. Homicide comes in with the blowtorch for the flag to the back of Storm’s head for the pin to retain the titles.
Rating: B-. This was much more of a brawl than a match and based on the story, that’s what it should have been. AMW wasn’t going to be around much longer but they were still a name, so having them put over the hot new team of LAX was probably the best thing they could have been used for. Fun stuff here.
Post match LAX goes to beat up Gail but Petey Williams comes out for the save as AMW gets back up. Jim Cornette comes out and says the titles are stripped. That would be overturned and the belts would be returned on Thursday. The title reign was considered one continuous run. Since this is Cornette, it takes a few minutes to get through that, including a big patriotism speech. The fans HATE this decision too. If they don’t give up the belts by Thursday, they’re fired.
Mitchell says he’s going to send Abyss into Sting’s mind to break his will.
We recap the world title match. Sting won the title from Jarrett last month and promised to bring honor to the title, because that’s what Sting does. Abyss is on a monster rampage through the company and it’s up to Sting to stop him. The Monster won the Fight for the Right tournament, which very well may have been the dumbest idea in TNA history. It’s better that you don’t know, but it involved a battle royal where you got in the ring, then got out of the ring, then had a regular match, triple threats and a singles match, including a title match in there somewhere I believe.
Mike says Sting has the decided experience advantage. How is that a decision? It’s fact.
NWA World Title: Sting vs. Abyss
Mitchell, Abyss’ manager, has stolen Sting’s bat to show how personal this is. Sting is actually in regular tights here instead of his usual garb. He jumps Abyss before the big match intros and hits him with the bat to send him to the outside. They go into the crowd and Sting sends him into the wall. All champion so far. Back to ringside and AS ALWAYS, Sting’s splash to an opponent laying on the railing misses.
Abyss hits him in the back with a chair and sets up a table next to the stage. Make that two tables and a pair of conveniently placed barbed wire boards. Sting fights back on the ramp and they brawl back to ringside. They haven’t been in the ring yet at all other than about 10 seconds. Now they get in and Abyss hooks a neck crank. Sting fights him off and hits a pair of Stinger Splashes before going for the knee.
Sting goes up and knocks a charging Abyss down, followed up by a top rope splash for two. Abyss gets up a big boot and Mitchell hands him the belt. Sting avoids the shot and here’s the Scorpion. Abyss makes the rope and Sting grabs the belt, only to walk into a Black Hole Slam for two. A chokeslam is broken up but the referee gets bumped. Abyss gets the bag of tacks but Sting gets the bat. A bat shot takes Abyss down and the Death Drop should get the pin but Mitchell pulls the referee to the floor.
Now Sting gets the bag of tacks and pours them out, but because this is a wrestling match he gets chokeslammed down onto them for two. Sting Hulks Up and drop toeholds Abyss face first into the tacks. He hooks the WORST Scorpion ever and Abyss taps but Mitchell has the referee. Mitchell goes into the Scorpion and the guys head to the floor. Sting hits Abyss with the chair and then wraps the repel cord (why is that there?) around Abyss’ leg. He pulls the cord up to hang Abyss upside down so he can beat him with a chair while Abyss is defenseless, including one to the face. I really don’t need to see Abyss’ underwear.
Sting lets him down and they go up the ramp towards the boards on the table. The referee yells at Sting and gets clotheslined….AND THAT’S A DQ. Not the HANGING OF ABYSS AND BEATING HIM WITH A CHAIR, not chokeslamming Sting onto tacks (still in his back), not the bat, but THAT? Oh and the title changes hands on a DQ in TNA, which I don’t think has been mentioned in years but that’s the rule. It never happened before or again that I remember, but it’s the rule.
Rating: D+. What a MESS. As I said, the ending was completely insane and while the title change makes sense, THAT’S WHY THEY DQ HIM??? Not for throwing Abyss through the tables like Sting did, but for hitting a referee? Also, great way to make the monster look like a monster here. I get what they were going for with Sting losing his vow of honor and all that, but man the execution didn’t work.
Abyss is unconscious but gets the belt anyway.
We recap the Angle vs. Joe feud, which is Angle coming in and wanting the best. He headbutted Joe and busted him open to establish this match. Angle was a guest referee at BFG because Jarrett had to be the world champion at the biggest show of the year. Joe jumped Angle at that show. Oh and this isn’t Angle’s first TNA match, as he faced Abyss on a special two hour show. The idea is that Joe is the best in TNA and undefeated. This could have been a long built match, but I can kind of see the idea here. I don’t agree with it, but I can see it.
Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe
The fans immediately chant this is awesome, which is kind of annoying. Feeling out process to start and Kurt goes straight for the ankle. Joe blocks the hold pretty easily and pounds him down onto the ropes. Kurt snaps off the belly to belly and clotheslines Joe to the outside. Joe grabs him in a powerbomb position, pulls him to the outside and swings him into the barricade.
Back in Angle misses a charge, hitting the post shoulder first. Out to the floor and Joe hits the suicide elbow before sending Angle into the steps. Pretty one sided so far. Kurt’s all nice and busted now. That’s a good thing too as he had a big annoying bandage on his head before that. Joe goes right for the cut and rips away at it. Powerslam gets two. Angle gets in some uppercuts but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.
Kurt’s head is flowing very solid here. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster but Kurt comes back with a front facelock into a tornado DDT, getting two. They slug it out and Joe misses a charge, setting up the Rolling Germans. He tries to release the last one but drops him on his face instead. That gets two and Kurt is all fired up. Joe armdrags his way out of the Slam and hits the MuscleBuster for two.
Angle rolls out of the Clutch and hits the Slam for a very quick two. There go the straps and he hooks the ankle lock. Joe rolls through but can’t break the hold. He pulls Angle down into the Clutch and Kurt is in trouble, but he manages to grab the foot and hook the ankle lock again. The fans are WAY into this. Joe rolls out to send Kurt into the middle rope, but he walks into another Olympic Slam. Kurt puts the straps back up so he can take them back down. Oh MAN he’s serious here. Angle hooks the ankle lock with the grapevine and Joe has to tap.
Rating: B. That’s it? Don’t get me wrong the match was good but this was only about thirteen and a half minutes. Why in the world would you make this match run that short? There are over six minutes left in the show and they cut it that short? It couldn’t be Kurt’s cardio as he was a full time guy less than six months earlier. Good match, but WAY too short.
Joe grabs a mic and says Angle was the better man today. He says if Angle is half the man he thinks he is, Kurt will give him a rematch. Joe sticks out his hand but Angle walks away. Joe says we’ll have to do this the hard way.
Tenay and West talk for a few minutes to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. For a traditional B-level show, this was a really good show. There’s some weak stuff in there but the majority of the big matches worked (odd DQ decisions aside). It wasn’t the home run main event they were hoping for but it was good enough and set up two rematches. This is definitely one of their better shows and is probably worth checking out. Good show.
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Impact Wrestling – October 28, 2015: Uncomfortably Numb
Impact Wrestling Date: October 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re still in the early part of the World Title Series as we hit week #4. As much as I like the presentation as they treat this like a real sporting event, the lack of stories are making this hard for me to get into. There’s no reason for these people to be fighting other than they have some similar characteristics or backgrounds and they’ve been scheduled against each other. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s matches and see a preview of tonight’s matches.
The announcers do the same things the opening video did.
Ethan Carter III brags about kicking out of Lashley’s spear and promises to win the title.
Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Robbie E.
Feeling out process to start with Matt taking him into the corner for some right hands. Pope feels the need to explain why wins are important in this series and Josh talks about Robbie E. challenging Rob Gronkowski in a stupid idea that TNA never learns from. A corner clothesline puts Robbie on the floor but he comes back with a flip dive off the apron to put Matt in trouble.
Now Pope compares Robbie to Leif Cassady and Josh tries to convince me that Robbie might be World Champion, which continues to show the problem with this entire concept. Back in and the Side Effect from Matt and a middle rope clothesline from Robbie get two each but Matt picks it up with a big sitout powerbomb. The Twist of Fate is countered into the Boom Drop for a close two and that’s it for Robbie’s chance. Another Side Effect and another Twist of Fate give Matt the pin at 6:40.
Rating: C+. The match was good but totally uninteresting for a point that I’ve already beaten into the ground despite having probably another two months of qualifying matches before we get to the actual tournament. Robbie is a nice midcard guy but he’s on a long list of people who have no reason to be involved in a World Title competition.
Group Tag Team Specialists
Matt Hardy – 6 points (1 match remaining)
Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining
Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)
Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)
Gail promises to fight Awesome Kong hard again tonight. Can they just show us the Bound For Glory match so I can save some time?
Matt says Robbie is tough and he was impressed.
Robbie says he doesn’t feel like a loser because he earned some respect.
Back to Matt when Grado comes up to ask for a picture because he’s a fan. Is this their best version of comedy these days?
Video on Drew Galloway.
Group UK: Grado vs. Drew Galloway
Speaking of wastes of time. The bell doesn’t even ring for this match and Grado starts with a schoolboy trip for two. Drew throws him to the mat and starts chopping in the corner. Grado’s comedy seems to get on Drew’s nerves so he chops away and throws Grado again with a belly to belly for two.
Drew slaps him in the face and Grado comes back with some right hands and an elbow to the head. A Rock Bottom and Cannonball in the corner (called a flippy move by Pope) have Drew in trouble. Grado puts him in the Tree of Woe but Galloway sits up and grabs a German suplex, followed by the running boot (the Claymore according to Josh) for the pin at 4:39.
Rating: D+. Fine enough for a match with the most obvious ending in the whole competition so far. It would be nice if they would just put Spud and Galloway in the next round already because there’s almost no chance of anyone else moving forward. Then again that can’t be done because they’ve taped all this in advance and that’s what we’re getting like it or not. I’m sure I’m too stupid to understand why I want to watch a bunch of average and uninteresting matches though.
Group UK
Drew Galloway – 6 points (1 match remaining)
Rockstar Spud – 3 points (2 matches remaining)
Bram – 0 points (2 matches remaining)
Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)
Clip of Gail Kim beating Awesome Kong at some show in the past that isn’t important enough to name.
We look back at the final destruction of the Revolution with Mahabali Shera pinning James Storm. Shera dances you know. They’re talking about it on Twitter.
Group Wild Card: Aiden O’Shea vs. Crazzy Steve
Oh come on. I know I probably complain about this Series too much but I’m supposed to want to watch this? They circle each other for about a minute to start until O’Shea slugs him down. O’Shea shoves him into the corner and takes a boxing stance as Steve is down on the mat. They head outside with Aiden punching him in the jaw but then punches the steps and post by mistake. Back in and Steve bites his hand, only to have Aiden take his head off with a clothesline for the pin at 4:47.
Rating: D. Well at least it was short. O’Shea is fine for a brawler and it’s a good idea to have him win here but this was such a waste of time. They couldn’t air something old and just give this a thirty second highlight package? This is the perfect example of a match that is making the Series feel like it’s taking forever to get through and a big reason why people aren’t very interested.
Group Wild Card
Mahabali Shera – 3 points (2 matches remaining)
Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)
Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)
Abyss says the only thing that soothes him is gold because he’s a monster. He’ll win and you can take that to the bank.
Package on Storm vs. Abyss.
More clips of an unknown Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong match.
Grado is confused after getting kicked in the head and doesn’t remember anything since the end of the match.
The announcers recap Group UK.
Group TNA Originals: Abyss vs. James Storm
Before the match, Storm suggests Abyss turn around and leave so Storm can win by countout. Abyss says he’s a monster and punches Storm in the face to get things going. A chokeslam doesn’t work but Storm charges into a side slam. Back from an early break with Storm diving off the steps and having to escape a chokeslam attempt. Storm loads a chair into the corner but Abyss sends him face first into it instead.
Hebner lets it go and Abyss drops a splash for two. It’s Janice time but it gets stuck in the turnbuckle like it does every single time, setting up Closing Time and a cowbell to the head for two. Storm goes up top and counters a superplex attempt into a powerbomb, followed by a top rope elbow for another near fall. Back up and Abyss no sells the Last Call and chokeslams Storm for two. With nothing else working, Storm spits beer into Abyss’ face and hits two more Last Calls for the pin at 11:00.
Rating: C-. Way too many weapons in here and I have no idea why they would let Abyss no sell Storm’s finisher. The match wasn’t the worst in the world but more than that it was nice to see a match where I didn’t know who was going to win. That’s been the big problem with tonight’s show: I either didn’t care who won or I could figure it out as soon as the names were announced. Good enough match here, despite how ridiculous they were with the weapons here.
Group TNA Originals
Bobby Roode – 3 points (2 matches remaining)
Abyss – 3 points (1 match remaining)
James Storm – 3 points (1 match remaining
Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)
Shera loves the World Title Series and thinks this is a cool opportunity to his family. He respects everyone else in the group and will do his talking in the ring. The upcoming India tour is a dream come true for him and he wants to return home with the World Title.
We preview next week with Shera vs. King, Brooke vs. Rayne and an interview with Jeff Hardy. A quick preview of the interview focuses on how happy he was to see Matt as World Champion.
Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young next week in another match we’ve seen way too many times.
Group X-Division: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ
Tigre takes him down by the arm to start as the announcers bicker over who is supposed to call play by play. DJZ sends the champ (no belt in sight here) into the corner for a running dropkick. We hit the chinlock on Tigre for a bit until he pops up and dropkicks DJZ outside. A corkscrew plancha connects for the champ (Josh: “Carpet defense!”) and they trade hurricanranas back inside. Tigre’s split legged corkscrew moonsault misses and DJZ’s tornado DDT is good for the pin at 6:43.
Rating: C. Fun enough match and we have yet ANOTHER group where three people have won a match each. Josh suggested that this might lead to an X-Division Title match, even though Tigre isn’t going to be defending the thing until around Christmas. You would think that would mean vacating the title due to a lack of defenses but that’s not the case around here.
Group X-Division
Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Manik – 3 points (2 matches remaining)
DJZ – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)
Clips from Kim vs. Kong at Bound For Glory 2015.
Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong
In case you haven’t seen this one enough yet. Gail goes after the arm to start but gets sent out to the floor. Pope thinks these two are like twins. Because they know each other so well you see. A big clothesline sends Gail outside again and we take a break. Back with Gail fighting out of a camel clutch and scoring with a jawbreaker before kicking away at the legs.
Gail tries a Black Widow but opts to dropkick Kong to the floor and dive off the apron with a flying forearm. Back in and Gail’s cross body is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for two we as have under five minutes to go (meaning their clock is way off this week). The chokeslam is countered into a DDT and a high cross body gets two for Gail. Kong loads up a powerbomb but gets caught in a hurricanrana to give Kim the pin at 13:58.
Rating: C. Well they certainly had another match. This is considered one of the greatest rivalries in TNA history and it’s really just ok. Yeah they had some awesome matches about nine years ago but I haven’t seen them do anything above average in years now. This was a decent enough match but nothing that makes me want to see them fight again.
Group Knockouts
Brooke – 3 points (2 matches remaining)
Gail Kim – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Awesome Kong – 3 points (1 match remaining)
Madison Rayne – 0 points (2 matches remaining)
Overall Rating: D. The show is over and I’m totally numb. I don’t have any feelings about it and I really didn’t for the two hours the show was on the air. The wrestling was adequate for the most part and there were times where I didn’t know who was going to win, but I didn’t care. These shows (and we’re just getting started with them) are offering no reason for me to care and it’s getting worse every week. It’s really hard to drive a show on pure wrestling and this is the proof of why.
For two hours tonight, I sat here listening to Josh and Pope do the same analysis of what it means for someone to be two matches in with no points or how confident they must be to have six points and only one match to go. The groups are the exact same idea with different names included and if you’ve watched TNA for more than five minutes you can pretty much pick the field of sixteen from here. I’m sure the TNA super fans will have some excuse for why the show bombed like the World Series, the Republican debate etc., because there’s ALWAYS something else on that interferes with TNA.
Maybe next week we can cancel all other TV and air Impact on every channel. Then people can be collectively bored by this concept with no individual stories and no real reason to watch until around Christmas because this company spent years putting on boring TV and keep getting canceled but we’re supposed to treat them like some kind of plucky victim that never did anything wrong. This is boring television and the audience tuning out is proving it, no matter what excuses TNA’s diehard fans have.
Results
Matt Hardy b. Robbie E. – Twist of Fate
Drew Galloway b. Grado – Claymore
Aiden O’Shea b. Crazzy Steve – Clothesline
James Storm b. Abyss – Last Call
DJZ b. Tigre Uno – Tornado DDT
Gail Kim b. Awesome Kong – Hurricanrana
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at: