Impact Wrestling
Date: April 3, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s a big show this week with a fourway for the World Title as Magnus defends against Eric Young, Samoa Joe and his own employee Abyss. Other than that we also have a tag team tables match between Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode as two feuds are combined. Hardy certainly is quick to forgive Ray for that hammer to the head at last year’s Lockdown. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard recap of the four way for the title.

Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode

Tables match. It’s a brawl to start with the feuding parties teaming off and the good guys taking an early advantage. Poetry in Motion crushes Roode in the corner and there’s a What’s Up for Ethan. Ray wants the tables and the fans chant for them as well. Ray throws one in but Roode takes him down with a clothesline while Ethan nails Willow with a dropkick. A double backdrop through the table doesn’t quite work as Ray makes the save, only to get forearmed down by Carter.

Hardy makes the same save from a double suplex but takes a Carter clothesline. Carter tries to ram Willow face first into the mat but gets screamed at for his efforts. A cartwheel into a splash sets up the slingshot dropkick and Willow dances a bit. The Twisting Stunner sets up a Twist of Fate but here’s Spud in a wheelchair to distract the Swanton.

Ethan is still on the table though so Ray goes up, only to have Roode shove him over the table instead. Roode goes up but Bully grabs a crotch claw of all things before throwing him into Ethan. A big double clothesline drops the heels and there’s the Flip Flop and Fly to Bobby. Roode is able to save Ethan from a powerbomb through the table though and catches Ray in a spinebuster through the table for the win at 6:14.

Rating: C. It was energetic but there wasn’t much to see here. Willow was nowhere to be seen for the last few minutes but at least we still have the two singles matches to look forward to. Unfortunately, the Russo booking theory strikes again: a regular match between Roode and Ray is going to see lame now after all these table spots over the last few weeks.

Bobby hits the Roode Bomb to send Ray through another table but he’s still not done. A top rope splash puts Ray through another table. Did Willow get shot or something?

Kenny King shows up on a golf cart but is told he doesn’t have a match. He tips the production guy anyway.

Magnus says don’t worry about Abyss tonight.

MVP is thrilled for the viewers tonight because the card is so awesome. Kenny King comes in and asks why he doesn’t have a match but is told to come back later.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

This is a straitjacket match which is like a casket match but you know, with a straitjacket instead of a casket. You have to put the other guy in it to win. Before the match Shaw insists that he isn’t creepy and talks about his hands making art. The worst crime in society is to be ordinary but Anderson jump Shaw to start on the fight on the floor. Shaw is sent into the steps and Anderson walks around a lot as we go to a break.

Back with Shaw hitting Anderson with the straitjacket and nailing some right hands. Anderson’s arms go into the jacket but he fights back with shots to the face and his usual stuff, despite barely being able to use his arms. The rolling fireman’s carry puts Shaw down but he low blows his way to freedom. Anderson is taken down by the choke but fights out of another attempt at being put in the jacket. The problem with this match is quickly made obvious: it takes a LONG time to put someone in the jacket so it takes a long time for Shaw to get it on for the win at 9:16.

Rating: D. Thirty three minutes in and two gimmick matches down. This was just stupid all around with a gimmick that didn’t work at all and took forever to get anywhere. The feud has just kept going with no real advancement in weeks. Shaw is creepy and wants Christy, who you can almost bet will be sleeping with him soon.

The Beautiful People say they made Madison and they’ll break her tonight, no matter who her mystery partner is.

Eric Young says he made the monster and is scared of what he’s become.

We’re supposed to start the first match a best of three series for Sanada’s X-Division Title but we have an interruption. Before the match Kenny King comes out and says he means no disrespect to his international friends but this should be about him. He’s the Pretty Boy Pitbull and he is the X-Division. He was doing stuff that Mil Mascaras was only dreaming of when he was a toddler but MVP breaks things up after that great line. He says King can’t mess with his show, which sends King into a rant about how this isn’t MVP’s show.

King wants to be in the ring but MVP says the card is booked for tonight. He offers King a spot next week but Kenny has another idea: an exhibition match with MVP tonight. MVP says no again but King slaps him in the face. The challenge goes out again and MVP says it’s on for tonight.

Sanada vs. Tigre Uno

The match starts after a break with some very fast paced kicks and counters to kicks, including a kick sending Sanada out to the floor. Back in and Tigre cranks on both of the champion’s arms until Sanada gets to the corner and takes Uno down, only to miss a standing moonsault. Uno misses a splash in the corner and gets rolled up for a close two count. After a quick run to the floor, Tigre comes back in with a spinwheel kick, only to springboard into a dropkick. Sanada gets crotched on the top rope but gets his knees up to block a split legged moonsault. A tiger suplex is enough to pin Tigre at 3:40.

Rating: C. Standard cruiserweight style match here with both guys flying all over the place for a few minutes. They better have Tigre at least win one match though or he looks like a loser who got beat two straight falls, albeit against a very talented guy in Sanada. It didn’t have time to go anywhere but it was still good enough while it lasted.

Magnus says he’ll tell us where Abyss has been.

The new Knockout Brittany offers to be Madison’s partner tonight in acting reminiscent of a bad Divas segment. Madison turns her down because it’s a never ending cycle with the Beautiful People. Brittany won’t take no for an answer and Madison eventually gives in.

Magnus calls Abyss to the ring and here’s the monster in a suit. The champ says Abyss looks like a winner because of who he’s associated with. They need to discuss strategy for the match tonight, which really is a handicap match instead of a four corners match. Magnus says everyone knows what is going to happen tonight because they’re a team. He brings up James Mitchell and Eric Young to scare Abyss before giving him a big hug. They go to leave but Eric Young jumps them in the aisle. This goes about as well as you would expect until Joe makes the save. Eric isn’t pleased for some reason.

Robbie E comes in to see MVP and says Jesse is injured so the Bro Mans can’t defend against the Wolves tonight. Lawsuits are threatened and the title match is off.

We get more of Knux going back to see his dad about shutting down the family carnival. The dad invites him in and says Knux was supposed to take all this stuff over. Knux says his dad always told him to do what he dreamed of but now dad wants him to come back here and keep things going to help a lot of people. Knux agrees to stay for a few days.

Beautiful People vs. Brittany/Madison Rayne

Brittany starts with Love and scores with some early armdrags and a bad looking slam. Off to Velvet who charges into an elbow but trips Brittany to the mat. A double Beautiful Elbow gets two for Angelina as Tenay plugs the Bellator show. The Beautiful People double team Brittany for a bit until she takes Love down and makes the hot tag to Rayne. Brittany tags herself back in for no apparent reason as everything breaks down. A quick double kick from the Beautiful People (called the Makeover) is enough to pin Brittany at 4:03.

Rating: D+. I’m not liking this Beautiful People reunion so far as it’s basically the same story we saw from them a few years back and now we’re just watching it again. What exactly can they accomplish in the division again? Getting the title back? It’s not like they haven’t been able to do that already, so why are we rehashing the same idea?

Kenny King vs. MVP

This is an exhibition match, which will be explained later I assume. They shake hands to start and MVP puts on a wristlock. King escapes and stands on the buckle for a bit as this is slow paced to start. They trade wristlocks and hammerlocks until King grabs a headlock. MVP trips King down and puts on an STF but lets it go for no apparent reason.

Kenny takes him down again before flipping up to his feet for some posing. We get some chain wrestling on the mat into a front facelock from MVP as the fans chant YOU STILL GOT IT. They finally start throwing punches and it turns into a scrap on the mat until the bell rings for no apparent reason at 5:22.

Rating: D+. So King is going to prove how entertaining he is by having a boring match? This didn’t work for me either as MVP is getting less and less interesting every week. He’s just another authority figure who is in over his head and it’s not going anywhere. Nothing match for the most part here but it looked to be setting something up for the future.

Magnus asks if Ethan has his back tonight. Carter thinks Magnus is scared of Abyss and doesn’t answer.

MVP jumps King in the back.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young vs. Magnus vs. Abyss

This is one fall to a finish and Magnus is defending. Abyss goes after Eric as the champion fires off forearms to Joe against the ropes. Joe comes back with the running backsplash before they head outside. Young slides through Abyss’ legs and dropkicks him to the floor before hitting a suicide dive to take out all three guys. Back in and Eric gets two on Magnus via a high cross body. Abyss splashes his boss by mistake, leaving us with Eric vs. Joe. Magnus and Abyss get back into things as we take a break.

Back with Magnus and Abyss in control as the champion directs the monster on who to attack. Abyss rips at Joe’s face as Magnus drops Eric with an elbow to the face. The slow heel dominance continues as Brian Hebner runs away from Abyss. Eric is sat on the top rope but Magnus wants to do this one himself. Young fights out of a superplex attempt and knocks Abyss back, setting up a double missile dropkick.

Magnus stops the momentum by throwing Eric out to the floor though, only to have Joe come back and take over. A powerslam gets two on Magnus but Eric makes the save. The same move gets the same result on Young with Abyss making the save. There’s a powerslam to Abyss but Joe can’t follow up. Instead he grabs the choke on Magnus but the champion grabs the referee and kicks the Samoan low.

The Black Hole Slam puts Joe down and Magnus whips him knees first into the steps. Young bites his way out of a chokeslam but walks into a Black Hole Slam of his own. Abyss doesn’t cover though as Magnus tells him no. Magnus slowly explains things to Abyss and drops the elbow on Young to retain the title at 14:13.

Rating: C+. It’s not a bad match but the angle was more important than the wrestling. I have a feeling this gives us Joe vs. Magnus again because we still haven’t had a clean fall between them. The problem is that’s not a very interesting story and it’s really starting to bring things down. Eric taking the fall makes by far the most sense though.

Next week: The Wrath of Dixie. Oh joy.

Overall Rating: C-. This Russo booking is already getting old again. The stories aren’t interesting and it’s gimmick overload everywhere else. Why we can’t just have some simple stories and good matches is beyond me, but the fact that it’s worked best for TNA over the years has no bearing on the current product whatsoever. The show wasn’t bad but there’s nothing I want to see going forward, and that’s not good.

Results

Bobby Roode/Ethan Carter III b. Willow/Jeff Hardy – Spinebuster to Ray through a table

Samuel Shaw b. Mr. Anderson – Shaw put Anderson in the straitjacket

Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex

Beautiful People b. Brittany/Madison Rayne – Makeover to Brittany

MVP vs. Kenny King went to a no contest

Magnus b. Abyss, Eric Young and Samoa Joe – Top rope elbow to Young

 

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Back to Canada today with Test.

Test debuted in the WWF in late 1998 as a bodyguard for Motley Crue but would quickly be brought in as part of the Corporation. He was in his debut match a few weeks later on the December 21, 1998 episode of Raw.

X-Pac/HHH vs. Test/The Rock

Before the match Shawn throws out DX. Vince comes out and says let them stay. Ok then. Rock and X-Pac start things off and Pac hits a kick to the chest and an armdrag to take over. Off to HHH vs. Test with the bigger guy (Test) looking as awkward as ever (which is pretty awkward). Rock’s distraction lets Test get in a big boot to somewhere around the face for two.

Rock comes in to beat HHH down some more and test gets two off a side slam. HHH gets in a facebuster and makes the tag so things can speed up a bit. Some kicks in the corner put Test down and there’s the Bronco Buster. Test dumps Pac to the floor and things break down a bit. Pac gets crotched against the post by Rock and DX is in trouble. Back in with Rock vs. Pac and a slam sets up the Corporate Elbow for two.

HHH comes in sans tag to clothesline Rock down, only to result in X-Pac getting double teamed. Off to Test who misses a clothesline and gets his head kicked off by X-Pac. There’s the hot tag to HHH who cleans house and hits a high knee to Rock and a facebuster to Test. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Test but Rock makes the save. There go the lights and here comes Kane, who is suddenly not institutionalized. He chokeslams HHH and the rest of DX. Apparently Kane is the holiday bonus for the Corporation. The match is thrown out.

Rating: C. The match was fine and given that it’s the Attitude Era, expecting a pin or submission ending in a main event is asking way too much. Test didn’t look like anything more than a taller and slower Boss Man here, so adding in Kane sort of makes him look worthless. Nothing great to see here but HHH and Pac always had some chemistry together.

Test would be in a battle royal before Wrestlemania XV went on the air where the final two men got a Tag Team Title match later that night against champions Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett. Test was in the final two so here’s the “showdown”.

Tag Titles: D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

The challengers fight with each other before the match starts. Owen and Jeff have Debra with them who is in a jacket and bikini. From the neck down she’s not bad at all. It’s a brawl to start and Test hits a fast big boot to take over. Brown and Jarrett get things going officially and D’Lo hits some fast clotheslines. Jeff charges into an elbow and it’s off to Test. He’s part of the Corporate Team while Brown has no connection to them whatsoever. A powerbomb gets two on Owen but he comes back with an enziguri, only to have Brown break up the Sharpshooter attempt.

Brown comes in legally and hits the shaky head legdrop for no cover but Jeff knees Brown in the back to give Owen an opening. A spinwheel kick puts D’Lo down for no cover as it’s back to Jarrett. Brown comes back with a double clothesline to both champions and hits something resembling a Sky High on Jeff. There’s no cover though as the managers (Ivory for the challengers) are fighting. In the distraction, Owen hits a missile dropkick on Brown to give Jeff the retaining pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but when the challengers are formed into a team 30 minutes before the match, it’s a little difficult to get behind a match like this. The tag division was BEGGING for something to save them here but it wouldn’t be until the fall when the Dudleys finally showed up and made the division worth something for a few more years.

Test would soon be thrown out of the Corporate Ministry and join the Union, setting up an eight man elimination tag at Over the Edge 1999.

Corporate Ministry vs. The Union

Boss Man, Viscera, Bradshaw, Farrooq
Mankind, Test, Shamrock, Big Show

DANG Vince needs to go back to the original No Chance in Hell. This one was far better. The Union was a stable that lasted all of four weeks as Vince became the Higher Power and Mankind got hurt anyway. They got together because they got tired of the Corporate Ministry beating the tar out of them. This is Survivor Series rules mind you. Test is wearing bright blue tights which are very funny looking on him.

He’s a total rookie here and no one cares about him. Somehow within five months he would be the hottest act in the company. Bradshaw hits a spear and lands some solid shots on the cranium of Test. The opening here just feels like they’re kind of lumbering around looking for something to do. He hits that sweet top rope elbow on Bradshaw as we finally get more faces in there. The Clothesline From JBL connects on Test to pin him as Shamrock was just visiting before.

Bradshaw taps in about a minute. This has no heat at all but I can’t blame anyone for that at all. It’s Big Daddy V vs. Shamrock now. I think Shamrock tried a crucifix but Viscera was just too fat for it to work. Shamrock gets the ankle lock on Farrooq but snaps and suplexes the referee which gets him out. Show gets an AWESOME chokeslam on Farrooq, holding him up there forever. This match is the living definition of a mess.

It’s Show and Foley vs. Boss Man and Viscera. Something tells me this is a one sided affair. Boss Man drops an F Bomb on Mankind before getting drilled by Show. This was back when Show could MOVE. He freaking goes off on Boss Man but gets caught with a low blow which I’m not wild on.

Apparently the two of them are counted out soon thereafter but it’s not really made all that clear. That’s simply not a good sign at all but whatever. So Foley beats Boss Man in about 2 minutes after that. Yeah that’s really it.

Rating: D-. This was just bad. I mean there was nothing at all here and while the crowd was reacting, they were far from interesting in the slightest. This felt like they forgot to tell anyone anything other than the ending which simply isn’t going to work. Their minds were there I think, but this was just a mess.

Around this time, Test began a relationship with Stephanie McMahon. This wasn’t cool with Stephanie’s brother Shane, who brought in his buddies in the Mean Street Posse to help him take care of Test. This included a gauntlet match on the July 12, 1999 episode of Raw.

Test vs. Mean Street Posse

Test has to beat all three members in a row and it’s Pete Gas first. Test kicks him in the face in the aisle before the bell, throws him over the announce table, throws him inside for a big elbow and gets the pin. Rodney is next but Pete gets a low blow to give Rodney a chance. The advantage lasts a few seconds as Test kicks Rodney in the face and hits a gutwrench powerbomb and pumphandle powerslam for the pin. Joey Abs, an actual wrestler, is last and takes over with a neckbreaker. Test easily throws him into the corner and nails a powerslam but Shane runs in for the DQ. Short but Test looked good.

The feud culminated in a Love Her Or Leave Her match between Shane and Test. The rules are simple: if Shane wins, Stephanie and Test are done but if Test wins, Shane stays away.

Test vs. Shane McMahon

This is a Greenwich street fight with love her or leave her rules. Test is dating Stephanie but Shane doesn’t approve. If Test wins, Shane stays out of their lives but if Shane wins then the relationship ends. Test has bad ribs but Shane has no backup due to Test injuring every member of the Mean Street Posse. Scratch that theory actually as they come walking out before the match. Thanks for wasting my time on the video of Test destroying all of them. The Posse has a couch set for them in the front row.

Test takes Shane down to start but Shane hits a quick spear back inside, only to be pounded in the corner. A backdrop puts Shane down as the Posse drinks champagne. Shane is sent HARD into the steps and then into the crowd for a drink to the head. Test catches Shane diving off the barricade and powerslams him down onto the floor. Shane staggers around ringside so Test launches him at the Posse to tip the couch over.

The injured Posse goes after Test and give Shane a mailbox of all things to crack over Test’s head. A street sign stuns Test again and there’s a framed portrait of the Posse shattered over Test’s head. That’s only good for two and the fans are getting into this. Shane does a great looking leapfrog and this a jumping back elbow to the face to put Test down. A corkscrew senton (Spiral Tap) of all things misses and Test comes back with right hands.

Another leapfrog is countered into a sweet powerbomb but Rodney of the Posse distracts the referee. Test’s big boot hits the referee but he clotheslines Shane to the floor. The street sign puts Shane down again but here’s the Posse again to take Test down. They load him onto the announce table so Shane can hit the top rope elbow through Test. For a non-wrestler, Shane can drop a gorgeous elbow.

The referee is back up (why did he need to be bumped? It’s a street fight) but Test kicks out at two. The fans are really getting into this. Pete accidentally hits Shane with a sign but Rodney hits Test with his cast. That’s only good for two and now the fans are fired up. Patterson and Brisco run out to take care of the Posse and make it one on one. Shane charges into the post and it’s a pump handle slam followed by the flying elbow to get Shane out of Test and Stephanie’s lives.

Rating: B. This took a little bit to get going but the fans got into it at the end. It’s a great example of a story carrying a match rather than the wild brawling. This was full of weapon shots and interference, but the story behind the match made people care about it. The people were invested in Test and wanted to see him fight for the woman he loved. That’s a classic story and it’s going to work every time. Good stuff here.

Test and Stephanie were going to be married on Raw one night but Test had to wrestle first. From November 29, 1999 on Raw.

Test vs. HHH

Before the match we get a special referee in a Vince mask. HHH is furious because there’s a restraining order against Vince but Test jumps the distracted Game to take over. HHH comes back with a kick to the chest but walks into a powerslam. Patterson and Brisco are watching in the back and ask Vince to come watch with them. HHH nails him with a knee to the ribs and stomps away in the corner. A knee drop gets two and we go back to Patterson and Brisco for more of the same.

We hit a sleeper on Test and the referee doesn’t seem to care. He finally slaps Test in the face to wake him up but HHH scores with a DDT. A low blow drops Test again but HHH stops to argue with the referee. Test comes back with a big clothesline but HHH escapes the pumphandle slam. Instead it’s a belly to back suplex to drop HHH and he bails to the floor. Test dives into a punch to the ribs, allowing HHH to grab a chair. A facebuster puts Test down but the referee won’t count. HHH goes after the referee’s mask but Shane comes in with a chair to HHH, allowing Test to drop the elbow for a fast counted pin.

Rating: D+. The match was about the masked man, who never was identified. It certainly appeared to be Vince and that’s the implication you were supposed to go with. Test was good with the fast paced stuff but his longer matches like this one never quite worked. Even HHH couldn’t get this to go right.

After the story ended, Test fell down the card and entered a tag team with Albert called T&A, managed by newcomer Trish Stratus. They feuded with the Dudley Boys soon after forming, including this match at Backlash 2000.

T&A vs. Dudley Boys

Brawl to start of course and Bubba chases Trish around on the floor. Albert and D-Von get us going with the future Japanese bore taking control. D-Von takes him down for two and I have no idea who the faces are and who the heels are here. Off to Bubba who takes his head off with a clothesline. That and an elbow drop both get two. Off to D-Von and the Dudleys hit a double suplex and the yet to be named What’s Up.

Albert comes back with a bicycle kick and it’s off to Test. Double splashes in the corner get two on D-Von. I could listen to Bubba Dudley yell from an apron all day. I’d get pretty bored but I certainly could do it. The big evil (I think?) ones double team D-Von. Albert slams Test onto D-Von and shouts to TESTIFY TO THAT. Bubba: “SHUT UP!” The fans of course want tables but D-Von gets a neckbreaker on Test instead.

The referee misses the tag to Bubba and the beating continues. Albert hits his slingshot into the bottom rope for two. A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for D-Von, but he’s quickly powerbombed for the same. The fans want tables and Trish isn’t sure what to think. Albert goes up but Bubba distracts him, allowing D-Von to hit a superplex and make the hot tag.

Reverse 3D (called the 3D by JR of course) gets two. Baldo Bomb kills Bubba but D-Von pulls him away from the big elbow. The Dudleys load up the REAL 3D (as in Bubba gets a running start) but Trish offers a distraction by taking her jacket off and shaking her hips. Keep in mind that this is before Trish let herself go in 2001/2002, and yes I said that right. That lets Test kick Bubba’s head off for the pin.

Rating: D+. Anything with Trish in hot pink shorts and shaking her hips is never a bad thing. The match however was pretty bad, but the whole point was the post match stuff. Also the Dudleys were more or less turned face in this match due to the fans loving hot women being put through tables for some reason.

We’ll skip the rest of 2000 as it was mainly just T&A doing nothing while Trish stole the show. Off to a European Title shot for Test on the January 22, 2001 episode of Raw.

European Title: William Regal vs. Test

Regal is champion coming in here and runs down Test a bit. Test runs to the ring and destroys Regal inside of two minutes. Regal got in some punches and a knee but other than that it was ALL Test. The big boot sets up the top rope elbow (pretty) for the title. Match didn’t even make 90 seconds.

Then came the InVasion with Test getting caught up in the shuffle like everyone else, though he did pick up a few Tag Titles with Booker T. (two reigns of 13 days each). He did have some singles success though, including an Intercontinental Title shot on November 5, 2001’s Raw.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge challenged Test last night on Heat for some reason. He jumps Test on the floor to start and they head back inside for a lot of punches from both guys. Edge tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two as Test takes over again. After a suplex Test chokes away with the boot in the corner but walks into a spear out of nowhere. Both guys are down and it’s Edge up first.

He hits the spinwheel kick but walks into an elbow to put him down. The big boot misses and the Edge-O-Matic gets two. Edge rolls through a powerbomb for two and hits a tornado DDT for the same. He goes up again but Test shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch the champion. Test cradles Edge and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was about as good as a five and a half minute match with practically no story (Test cost Edge a match last week apparently) was going to be. That’s beside the point though. At this point in WWF, there were three midcard titles (IC, US and Euro), two world titles, two tag titles, a hardcore title and two lightweight titles.

The idea of being lost in the shuffle was perfectly illustrated by him being in a battle royal for immunity after one of the companies went out of business at Survivor Series 2001.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Farrooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

No matter who wins the main event tonight, the winner of this is guaranteed a job for a year. Stasiak is thrown to the floor before the bell rings and is apparently out. Test drops to the floor to hide as Tazz comes in late. Since it’s a battle royal there’s really not much to talk about here. Everyone punches everyone and no one is put out for awhile. Heyman freaks out about Tazz because Tazz choked him out on Smackdown.

Hurricane dives at Farrooq and is clotheslined out by Bradshaw. Albert throws Saturn out and Test, who is back in now, dumps Farrooq. Page is put out by someone we can’t see and Storm superkicks Palumbo out. Morrus and Chavo run in as wildcards because they tried to jump from the Alliance to the WWF on Raw but got fired as a result. Billy dumps Chavo as Morrus is eliminated as well. Tazz dumps Dreamer and Crash as Storm low bridges Spike out. Bradshaw’s Clothesline kills Richards and he’s gone.

Tazz stops to run his mouth to Heyman and gets dumped by Billy. Test and I think Kidman put Albert out. We’re down to Bradshaw, Kidman, Gunn, Test and Storm. Sorry if I missed a bunch of eliminations but a lot of them weren’t shown. The fallaway slam puts Kidman out and we’re down to four. Bradshaw kicks Storm down and might have hurt his ankle. Things slow way down as Billy and Bradshaw hang on for dear life. Storm and Test team up to put Bradshaw out but Test dumps Storm as well. A big boot eliminates Gunn and Test wins immunity.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but at the end of the day, it’s a battle royal so what are you expecting to get here? Test would fall through the floor in the next year with no one caring about him at all. This was a pretty big batch of jobbers in there though and that doesn’t really make for an interesting match. Then again, neither do most battle royals.

We’ll also skip the Un-Americans, Testicles and the horrible feud with Scott Steiner. Test would be in a battle royal of former Intercontinental Champions at Judgment Day 2003.

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

 

Val Venis (returning here after being Chief Morely for awhile), Chris Jericho, Goldust, Lance Storm, Rob Van Dam, Christian, Test (pulling a double tonight), Kane, Booker T (not a former champion yet in this anyway)

 

Pat Patterson handles the introductions. Only 9 people in this which is a rather odd number. Standard over the top rules here. Kane and RVD, the Raw tag champions, go at it immediately. Everyone gangs up on Kane and he’s like boys please and tosses Storm. RVD takes the knee out and it’s another pile on Kane. This time they get him out so we’re down to seven.

 

Kane comes back in to beat them up for fun. Booker puts Test out and Goldust throws out Val. Jericho gets his springboard dropkick to put Van Dam out so it’s down to Goldust, Jericho, Booker and Christian. Goldie cleans house for a bit but the Canadians come back to take over. Goldust comes back and bulldogs both Canadians. This is getting boring in a hurry.

 

With the help of Booker, both Canadians gets Shattered Dreams. There’s the Spinarooni but Goldust lunges at him, only to get tossed as well. It’s down to Booker vs. Christian vs. Jericho. The fans are all behind Booker here. This isn’t his year though as he was beaten by a racist heel at Mania (People “like Booker” don’t win world titles. What do you think that was implying?) and gets double teamed here.

 

Booker fights them off for a bit and Jericho skins the cat. Down goes Booker again as the words GET ON WITH THIS play over and over in my head. Jericho is bleeding from the nose. Jericho sets for the Lionsault and Christian shoves him out! I love double crosses. Booker beats on him for awhile and a referee somehow is knocked down. Christian hit a baseball slide into him if you’re curious.

 

Yes, it’s going to be a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. Scissors kick misses and Christian goes to the apron. Booker sends him into the buckle and wins this. The music plays and Christian steals the belt from Patterson. A belt shot to the head and a toss out later and it’s Christian that officially wins the title. Booker would get it back about two months later. Everyone hates this mind you. Yes, a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. I told you this era was weak.

 

Rating: D+. Another boring match tonight which is a theme here. Was there a point to this being a battle royal other than not wanting to have two tournaments going at once? For some reason they were afraid to give Booker anything even though he was on a roll and was over at this point. That’s Vince for you though. Weak match with a bad ending.

Test would be released in 2004 and hit the indies for awhile. He would be brought back for ECW on Sci-Fi, where he feuded with Rob Van Dam. Here’s their blowoff match from October 3, 2006.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

Extreme Rules. Test kicks him in the ribs during the finger pointing which is something you would think a lot more people would do. Van Dam is sent to the floor and Test chokes him on the barricade. Van Dam gets in a kick (were you expecting something else?) but misses the spinning leg to the back of Test, crashing into the barricade instead. Test gets the steps but gets tripped, sending the steps crashing down on top of him. In a cool spot, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

It’s table time and the fans erupt as a result. As always, that takes too much time and Test takes his head off with a clothesline in the ring. Test throws four chairs into the ring and a big boot into one of them into the head of Van Dam gets two. A suplex onto the chair is countered by Van Dam and he pelts the chair at Test’s head ala Sabu. Test goes to the apron but Van Dam can’t knock him through the table. Test tries to suplex him through the table in a repeat of the spot from last week with Holly, but Van Dam countered into a sunset powerbomb through the table in a great spot.

We take a break and come back with the arrival of Heyman and security. Back inside and Test low blows Van Dam but Rob manages to clothesline him on the top rope. The recoil sends Van Dam to the floor and the security guards pound on Rob for a bit. That gets two for Test back inside and the Canadian is getting frustrated. Somewhere in there a chair was wedged between the top and middle rope and Rob is launched head first into said chair. Somehow that only gets two and Test is stunned.

Off to a bearhug as Van Dam is in even more trouble. Van Dam escapes but a BIG chair shot to the head gets two. Test removes the buckle from a corner but RVD blocks the shot into it and this a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Rob goes to the floor for another chair because the four in the ring weren’t enough I guess. After threatening the guards with the chair, he skateboards it into Test’s face in the corner. He loads up Rolling Thunder onto the chair but Test moves, sending Rob’s back into chair only.

With the chair on Van Dam’s face, Test goes up and drops a Cactus Jack elbow (as in he had a chair of his own and slammed it into the other chair) off the top…..for two. Test loads up another table but his powerbomb through it is countered into a sunset flip for two. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered and Van Dam hits the top rope kick. After dispatching the guards, Van Dam loads up the Five Star through the table but Big Show comes out and shoves him through the table. A TKO from Test finally gets the pin.

Rating: B. Van Dam is on a roll right now and I’m digging this war with Heyman and his team of lackeys as he’s building up to the big rematch with Show. Test looked good here and after the match last week with Holly, I think it’s fair to call Van Dam an official miracle worker. Another strong match here which would probably be the best match of the week in WWE.

Since this would go nowhere, Test would be gone a few months later. He would show up in TNA for a few weeks as Andrew “The Punisher” Martin. Here’s his only match from Hard Justice 2007, which is something called a Doomsday Cage of Blood.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

Test would be released soon after and retire less than a year later. Unfortunately Test would pass away in March of 2009 at the age of 33.

Overall Test had a much better look than skill set but that’s the case with a ton of wrestlers. He hit his peak in 1999 with the Stephanie story but Russo leaving the company took away any interest in Test. He never really had a great match, but his matches with Shane weren’t bad at all. Test was better suited as a bodyguard but didn’t do badly at all with what he was given.

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Old School
Date: February 7, 2014
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

At least they advertised this one. This is the newest One Night Only show with a slightly more obvious theme. Looking at the card though, there isn’t much to see here that’s old school. Speaking of old school, as in something we’ve seen before, this show contains the fifth time that James Storm and Bobby Roode have been in direct competition against each other and their third singles match in just ten shows in this series. Come up with something new already. Let’s get to it.

By the way, I’m aware that this show if officially titled #oldschool. I’m going to assume you know why that’s stupid and why I’m calling it a name normal humans might use.

The opening video discusses the theme of reigniting old feuds. That’s better than the usual tournament, but I’m not sure Old School is the best name for that idea. It’s kind of misleading.

We’re already proving my point about the name: they’re using the word hashtag every time they say the name. It sounds so stupid and I can’t emphasize it enough.

The set is different again, but this time there’s a small lighted entrance for the guys to come to. It looks like the WWF set from the early 90s which isn’t a bad thing.

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt

These guys have actually feuded for years, dating back to the Austin Starr days, so they’re keeping up the gimmick through the first match. Tenay and Tazz get on my nerves about four minutes into the show, talking about what it means to be the best man that ever lived and implying three way escapades of a different sort. Sabin chills on the floor while Aries and Dutt run the ropes without much contact being made.

Sabin tells Sonjay he sucks and gets inside, only to walk into a Japanese armdrag from Aries who rides him on the mat for some humiliation. Austin lays on the top rope because that’s the kind of guy he is and all three guys are finally in the ring together. Dutt and Sabin double team Aries in the corner and take their turns charging at him, only to have Chris try a quick rollup to tick Sonjay off. Dutt does the same and there’s another argument to make sure we have every three way trope checked off the list.

Sonjay snaps off a hurricanrana on Aries as Tazz name drops Mike Adamle because commentary in TNA is a joke. Now it’s a Michael Cole reference as Tazz makes the only insightful comment he’ll give all night: he’s always paired with guys named Mike. Aries is placed on the top rope but Dutt and Sabin get in an argument over who gets to do the superplex. Austin fights them both off and we go WAY old school with a double noggin knocker. Both other guys are sent to the floor for a double double ax handle from A Double.

Back in and Aries hits a missile dropkick on Dutt but misses the running version in the corner as Sabin steps aside. Sonjay and Sabin get in another argument with Chris hitting a quick enziguri for two before Dutt sends him to the apron and kicks Aries in the face. Sabin is knocked to the floor and Aries hits a quick brainbuster for the pin on Sonjay.

Rating: C-. Pick a three way match that you’ve seen before, give it about eight minutes and you’ll have this match. It wasn’t anything special but that’s the kind of show you should expect with this series: something you’ve seen done better before but it’s what you’re in for with the reduced price.

Tommy Dreamer gives a serious promo on Bully Ray, talking about their history together and mentioning Ray invading Dreamer’s House of Hardcore show. He holds up a kendo stick and says he may not be Luke Skywalker and this may not be a lightsaber, but he’s cutting the evil fat out of Ray tonight. That may take a lot of carving.

Video on Ethan Carter III as the gimmick takes a nosedive.

Ethan comes out to call out an opponent as even the announcers realize that calling Ethan old school is absurd. The fans tell Ethan that he can’t wrestle and he chants back by alternating with “Yes I can” and “I’m very good.” He gets some cheap heat by making fun of the Yankees and says Dixie has allowed him to pick his opponent tonight.

Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes

So to clarify, we’re getting storyline development for a storyline that isn’t going on anymore on a theme show that almost no one is going to buy because TNA can’t put together a full card without this filler. Dewey comes from his other job at the merchandise table (he really does that at live events) but doesn’t want to fight. Carter pokes him in the chest and insults Dewey’s social status, which if finally enough for the redneck to fight. Barnes takes Ethan down by the legs but Carter rams him into the buckle and talks trash. The bulldog driver ends Barnes in just over a minute. I’m so glad this got PPV time.

With his back to the camera, Ray talks about meeting Tommy Dreamer back in 1992 and becoming close with him over the years. The word friend is unique in wrestling because Ray doesn’t have that many of them. Twenty five years later, Dreamer started his House of Hardcore promotion and invites Terry Funk instead of him and that’s just not how you treat a friend. We even get clips from House of Hardcore 2 with Ray invading and lighting a table on fire. Tonight Ray is going to beat Dreamer like you beat a friend of 25 years.

Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is falls count anywhere. Ray talks about ending Terry Funk’s career in this building and how he’ll do the same to Dreamer tonight. They stare at each other to start until Ray yells about Funk even more, earning him right hands to the face. Dreamer clotheslines him down but Ray takes him into the corner for some right hands. We get the Flip Flop and Fly from Tommy to send Ray outside as the fans are into this so far.

Tommy is sent ribs first into the barricade but Ray stops to yell at Hebner, allowing Dreamer to suplex Bully down on the floor for two. Back in and Ray counters a bulldog with a belly to back suplex before heading outside to get a table. Dreamer baseball slides it back into Ray’s face but Bully easily blocks a DDT attempt. A splash onto Dreamer on the table is good for two and it’s time for the chain.

Ray gets in another argument with Hebner, allowing Dreamer to get in some kendo stick shots for two. Tommy whips at the knee with the chain but Ray pokes him in the eye to get a break. Another table is sent inside but Ray finds a much more entertaining toy: a cheese grater. Ray tries his own Flip Flop and Fly but Dreamer takes away the grater and attack’s Ray’s crotch to be extra evil.

Tommy pulls out a piece of the barricade but Ray kicks it into his face to prevent further damage. Ray takes too much time going up top for some reason and gets caught in a Death Valley Driver off the ropes through the table for a close two. Dreamer goes up but gets hit in the ribs with a piece of barricade before being superplexed down onto the steel With nothing else to do, Ray pulls out another table and lighter fluid. Again it takes too long and Dreamer blasts him with a kendo stick before spraying the lighter fluid on the table. The distraction lets Ray hit him low and the Bully Cutter is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of match that they needed to have with a lot of time letting Dreamer seem like he had a chance. I’m still not wild on them using freaking House of Hardcore to set up a match at a TNA PPV but it’s not like TNA has anywhere else to build a story from.

Joe talks about his history in TNA and how he’s always answered the call when he had to. Tonight he gets a world title shot at Magnus, who he at least has a history with.

Here’s Eric Young with something to say. He says he’s very old school, which is actually true in his case. Young declares himself the president and gives us a gift of Velvet Sky. Eric calls her his favorite Knockout ever but begs us not to tweet it to ODB. Eric has a toast for the fans but Bad Influence interrupts. Mike: “You can’t interrupt the president!” Taz: “This is wrestling. Everyone interrupts everyone.”

Kaz says no one is more old school than they are and no one is hotter than Velvet Sky. They’re the best tag team in the Biz-A-Ness so you have permission to worship them. This brings out the Bro Mans to say that they’re new school and school is in session right now. Velvet isn’t a real woman, but the Bro Mans know what one is, so here’s Lei’D Tapa. Eric makes a six person tag and appoints himself referee.

Velvet Sky/Bad Influence vs. Lei’D Tapa/Bro Mans

Jesse and Daniels get us going with Christopher grabbing a quick headscissors. Daniels cartwheels over Godderz and pops him with a right hand before it’s off to Robbie who charges into an armbar. Kaz comes in with a kick to the back and an elbow drop for two before slamming Robbie face first into the mat for another near fall. Kaz misses a charge and falls out to the floor, only to have Robbie miss the same move and crash even harder.

Back in and Tapa wants Kaz but it’s off to Velvet to fire up the crowd a bit. Sky kicks away at the large leg but Tapa just shoves her away. Velvet blocks a charge coming into the corner but walks into a spinebuster to change control on a dime. The female looking one is sent across the ring for a tag off to Daniels who armdrags Robbie down with ease. Everything breaks down with Bad Influence cleaning house and sending the Bros out to the floor.

Things settle down again with the Bro Mans double teaming Daniels down and stomping away until Robbie drops a middle rope elbow for no cover. Tapa comes in and drops a leg on Daniels before dragging him over to the corner for a tag to Robbie. We hit the chinlock until Daniels fights up and scores with an STO, allowing for the hot tag to Kaz.

Kazarian speeds things up and cradles Jesse but adds a northern lights suplex on Robbie at the same time for a double near fall. Tapa runs over Bad Influence but Velvet takes her down with a cross body. Velvet is thrown over the top to crush Tapa again but Daniels has to escape a Bro Down. The High/Low out of nowhere is enough to get the pin on Jesse.

Rating: D+. Not bad, even though Eric meant nothing at all. Velvet did her thing here by looking hot on the apron and doing a few moves at the end to make sure people knew she was more than just eye candy. Bad Influence worked perfectly well as faces which says a lot about them given how awesome they are as heels.

Video on Monster’s Ball and how insane it can get.

Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy

Obviously Monster’s Ball, basically meaning hardcore. They actually shake hands to start before Abyss shoves Hardy down. Abyss runs him over again and stops a comeback attempt with a running clothesline. The first weapon brought in is a chair but Hardy knocks it out of Abyss’ hands and hits a quick mule kick. Poetry in Motion sends Abyss outside and a running clothesline off the apron drops both guys. Abyss is up first and bridges a table between the ring and the barricade as he’s done before.

Hardy fights out of the chokeslam attempt but is sent HARD into the post to put him down again. Back in and Abyss wedges a chair into the corner but Jeff blasts him with another chair to get a breather. That’s fine with Abyss who sends him face first into the wedged chair for two. Jeff’s forehead is cut open.

It’s thumbtacks time but Hardy fights out of another chokeslam attempt and snaps off some forearms. The legdrop between the legs has Abyss in some trouble and the Twisting Stunner puts him down again. Jeff goes up but Abyss pelts the chair at his head, knocking Hardy through the bridges table in a nice looking bump. It’s only good for two and the kickout doesn’t get the reaction they were hoping for.

Abyss heads outside again and brings in the spiked 2×4 called Janice. Hardy moves to avoid a bad case of death and Janice is stuck in the turnbuckle. The Whisper in the Wind COMPLETELY misses Abyss and the replay makes it look even worse. Jeff picks up Janice but walks into the chokeslam onto the tacks which is always a good looking spot. Jeff’s head landed in the tacks and he has to pull the tacks out. Awesome visual.

That’s only good for two as well though so it’s barbed wire board time. Hardy counters another chokeslam and dropkicks Abyss into the barbed wire. Jeff finds another barbed wire board and sandwiches Abyss between the two of them, setting up the Swanton for the pin despite the tacks still being in his back.

Rating: B-. This took time to get going but the ending was far better than I was expecting. The problem here was the lack of a reason for the violence. The guys didn’t really hate each other (they shook hands remember) so it was just violence for the sake of violence. Still though, good match and a nice surprise given what I was expecting. The tacks in the head was a sick thing to see too.

Kurt Angle talks about going old school (minus the hashtag because Angle doesn’t like sounding like a dolt) with Mr. Anderson tonight.

Video on Angle vs. Anderson which actually was one heck of a feud back in the day.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Anderson does a nice heel move by teasing throwing his shirt to the crowd but dropping it on the apron instead. Technical stuff to start with Angle taking it to the mat but getting kicked away into a standoff. Angle knocks Anderson into the corner and pops him with an uppercut, only to be send shoulder first into the post. Anderson goes after the shoulder with an armbar but has to escape an Angle Slam attempt and chop block Kurt down to the mat.

Mr. starts going after the knee now by cannonballing down off the ropes before wrapping it up in the corner. Off to a leg bar but Kurt punches him in the side of the head to escape. Anderson goes up but dives into a boot to the jaw to put both guys down. Some clotheslines by Kurt set up a German suplex but the Angle Slam is countered into the rolling fireman’s carry for two.

The Mic Check is countered into the ankle lock but Anderson rolls Angle out to the floor. Back in and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly superplex and it’s back to the ankle lock. The same counter saves Anderson again and the Mic Check gets two. The Angle Slam connects a few seconds later for the abrupt pin.

Rating: C-. This was the abbreivated version of their match and the lack of time took away a lot of what makes these matches good. It also doesn’t help that there’s no personal reason for these two to fight other than they used to fight in the past, which is the general problem of this entire show.

Bobby Roode talks about his history with James Storm and how they were good friends but make better enemies.

Video on Roode vs. Storm. You all must know this story by now.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Last man standing. A quick shoulder block gets three for Roode and it’s time for a slugout. Storm takes over with an atomic drop and a clothesline but Roode avoids two Last Call attempts. Bobby heads outside but gets suplexed in the aisle for a seven count. Storm sends him into the steps but and barricade before taking him back inside for an enziguri off the apron. Roode counters a suplex to the floor and dropkicks James into the barricade.

Storm is up at about seven and heads back inside, only to get caught in a Blockbuster for another close count. James fights up with kicks and punches followed by a Russian legsweep to put both guys down. Roode comes right back with a spinebuster but Storm is up at six. The Roode Bomb is countered into a Backstabber from Storm followed by the Eye of the Storm for about five. They head outside again for another kick from Storm but Roode gets up in time again.

The weapons are brought in with Storm putting a trashcan between Roode’s legs and blasting it with a crutch. Roode comes back with a hard clothesline but takes too long getting a trashcan ready and walks into the Last Call. Bobby makes it up at about 9.75 but the fans weren’t buying it because that was just one finisher. James sets up two chairs next to each other but Roode escapes the Eye of the Storm and Roode Bombs James onto the chairs for an eight count. With nothing else to do, Roode handcuffs Storm behind his back and cookie sheets/trashcans/beer bottles him down for the ten count.

Rating: C+. It’s a good match but much like Orton vs. Cena, the match has been done so many times that it’s almost impossible to care. This feud has used the same tropes over and over again and the interest just isn’t there for me anymore. It also doesn’t help that Storm almost never wins any of these matches, making him look even more like a choker and/or a loser.

Magnus says there’s an irony in the name of this show because he’s not old school at all. What is old school though is what it says on his title: wrestling. He’s a wrestler, meaning that he’ll beat Samoa Joe in a wrestling match where all of the rules are followed to the letter.

Video on the history of Magnus and Joe from being Tag Team Champions to the Mafia to Magnus’ heel turn.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

Big Match Intros kill even more time before we get going. Joe takes him into the corner to start but the champion slaps him in the face like the evildoer he is. A right hand sends Magnus to the floor and he grabs the mic, saying that under British wrestling rules, closed fists are illegal. Magnus demands that Joe receive his first warning and apparently it’s two warnings for a DQ.

Back in and they fight over the arms as the announcers talk about ESPN reporters. Joe no sells an elbow to the jaw and runs Magnus over with one of his own before ripping his skin off with chops in the corner. A knee to the chest gets two for the Samoan and there’s the corner enziguri to set up the Face Wash. Magnus comes back with a running clothesline and throws punches in the corner for no warning. Outside now with the champion dropping an ax handle off the apron for two as the frustration is starting early tonight.

We hit the chinlock on Joe followed by another back elbow to the jaw and the second chinlock in a short span. Not exactly the most thrilling match in the world here. A HHH knee to the face drops Joe again but Magnus takes his time covering. Joe catches Magnus coming off the middle rope in an atomic drop followed by the snap powerslam for two. Magnus’ leapfrog is countered into a powerbomb into the Boston crab into the STF in the middle of the ring. Joe turns that into the Rings of Saturn but Magnus gets his foot on the rope.

Magnus comes back with a Michinoku Driver for two and the top rope elbow gets the same. With nothing else to do he goes and gets the title belt but Joe easily takes it away. That goes nowhere but Joe ducks a right hand a German suplexes the champion down. Magnus fights out of the MuscleBuster and counters the Clutch with a jawbreaker, bumping the referee in the process. Now the MuscleBuster connects and another Hebner slides in for two. Ethan Carter tries to interfere but gets rammed into the barricade, allowing Magnus to hit Joe with the belt to retain.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but the British rules thing went nowhere. It was fine for what it was and at least it gives a reason for the Ethan match earlier (he had a reason to be in the building for the main event). It’s nice that they actually gave the main event some importance but there’s still not enough here to hold much interest.

The traditional highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s not as good as Hardcore Justice 3 but this was fine for a One Night Only show. I can’t emphasize enough how much easier this company is to get through when Dixie Carter and the stupid power struggle isn’t taking up time. It’s still not great, but it goes from horrible to ok just like that, which is as good as you can get from TNA at the moment. The gimmick wasn’t terrible and thankfully they got it back on track after the second match. Nice show tonight but nothing worth going out of your way to see.

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Hardcore Justice 3
Date: January 16, 2014
Location: Lowell Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Mike Tenay

So apparently this show aired over two weeks ago. This comes as a surprise as I watch every episode of Impact and I NEVER heard about this airing. They usually talk about this for at least two weeks but I didn’t hear about it at all. The title of the show should tell you everything that you need to know about TNA: they can’t count because this is at least the sixth PPV called Hardcore Justice.  Let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional One Night Only highlight package of the show we haven’t seen yet. We’re getting Lethal Lockdown tonight which should be pretty cool.

This show was taped a few weeks ago so it’s at least up to date.

To say this show looks low rent is an understatement. No video screen, no set, nothing. It’s literally just a curtain and an aisle leading to the ring, making it look like a house show. I kind of like that.

JB is in the ring and tells us what we’re going to see but not the participants in the matches. The card is actually stacked. Borash is cut off by Ethan Carter III who isn’t all that familiar to TNA fans yet but he’s getting there. The fans know the advertised cards though and chant WE WANT DREAMER. Carter says keep chanting, because the more the fans want to see him means the more money is in his trust fund. After all, he’s a Carter and the world needs him.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Ethan Carter III

This is a tables match and as expected, the fans are entirely behind Tommy. Carter works on a wristlock to start but Dreamer comes back with right hands and a running clothesline to send Ethan outside. Tommy takes a beer from a fan and spits it in Carter’s face, messing up the camera lens. They head into the aisle where Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade. Tommy comes back with chops out of the corner but gets sent shoulder first into the post.

A belly to back suplex puts Dreamer back down again but Carter covers like someone always does in TNA tables match. Carter misses a middle rope elbow and gets punched in the corner as we’re waiting on the first table. Dreamer hits something like a downward spiral to send Carter into the middle buckle before going outside to look for some plunder as Dusty Rhodes would say.

The first table is set up on the floor but Carter stops Dreamer from coming in with a dropkick. Dreamer comes right back with a swinging neckbreaker before pulling out his second table. They head back inside with a table down on the mat which Dreamer lands on back first. Carter goes up top but gets pulled down into the Tree of Woe. Dreamer puts the table in front of his face for the baseball slide and the fans are into this. The table is set up in the corner but Carter comes back with a quick bulldog driver. Tommy’s Death Valley Driver is easily escaped and a spinebuster through the table gives Ethan the win.

Rating: D+. This was there so they could say they had a tables match on the show and nothing more. Dreamer losing was obvious the entire way as he’s one of the biggest jobbers in the history of wrestling. Carter is a guy that I like more and more every time I see him and having him get a win over a fan favorite is only going to help him.

Austin Aries is ready for Chris Sabin later tonight. See what I mean about how much better these are when they’re tied to current storylines?

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin

This is an Xscape match meaning it’s in a cage and the first person to climb out wins. Christy isn’t doing the commentary tonight but the guy they have (never shown or named) has a good deep voice. Aries sends Chris into the corner to start and quickly pulls Sabin down on an escape attempt. Back down and Aries scores with some armdrags and goes up for a top rope ax handle. A big running elbow drop sets up the pendulum elbow and Sabin is in trouble.

Luckily it’s not deep enough trouble for Aries to get out as Chris pulls him back down, sending Austin’s head into the mat. He goes for a cover to make sure the fans get the idea because wrestling fans aren’t that bright. The cage is used for the first time with Aries being slammed back first into the steel as Sabin extends his advantage. Chris hits his own brainbuster followed by a swinging facebuster (think a spinning backbreaker but with the recipient’s face down) but Aries makes another save.

They fight on the top rope with Aries climbing onto Sabin’s shoulders and taking him down with a nice hurricanrana. A running clothesline in the corner and a bulldog set up the Last Chancery. Sabin knees his way out of a brainbuster but takes the running dropkick in the corner. Another running dropkick against the cage looks to allow Aries to escape but Sabin crotches him down on the ropes.

Sabin gets all heelish and takes the belt out of his shorts and ties Aries’ feet to the ropes but apparently he wasn’t a good Boy Scout because Aries easily unties it and stops the escape. They slug it out on the top rope again with Sabin getting crotched and knocked down to the middle of the ring. Austin goes up, headbutts Sabin down through the cage, and drops to the floor for the win.

Rating: B-. That might be a bit high but I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to. There’s a story here (not much of one but it’s a story) so it’s automatically easier to care about these two fighting. It’s no masterpiece or anything but it was entertaining enough to fill in fifteen minutes and that’s all it needed to be.

James Storm, a member of Team Angle in Lethal Lockdown, won’t reveal the fourth member of the team along with himself, Kurt and Samoa Joe. They’re facing Team Roode tonight.

Here are the Bro Mans to add some comedy. Robbie asks Jesse who are more hardcore than the Bro Mans before revealing that they’re in Lethal Lockdown along with Roode and Magnus. They talk about Team Angle and make sure the fans know the participants in the main event. None of their opponents are hardcore though and there’s no fourth man because everyone is scared of the Bro Mans. They’ve found someone willing to try their lucky though: Dewey Barnes.

Dewey comes through the crowd and throws out t-shirts before getting in the ring and not understanding fist bumps. The Bro Mans ask him to tell the fans a bit about himself and what do you know: he used to spend his summers here. Apparently Barnes is going to run the Bro Marathon with the first step being a dance off with Robbie E. The fans give it to Barnes so he’s a step closer to being on Team Angle. Now it’s a posedown with Jesse and Barnes might be in trouble. He does the Hogan poses and you can figure out the results here I’m sure.

That brings him to the final challenge: a pushup contest. If Dewey can do ten pushups, he can be in the main event tonight. He gets to nine and the Bro Mans channel their inner DiBiases and attack. This was longer than it needed to be to get the idea but it’s better than some stupid countdown or flashback sequence like the rest of these shows use to fill in time.

Bobby Roode is going to step up for his team against Samoa Joe to earn the advantage in the main event.

Video on Lethal Lockdown and steel cages in general.

Bobby Roode vs. Samoa Joe

The winner gets the advantage in Lethal Lockdown. Joe still has his mohawk here to date the show a little bit. Feeling until Joe starts peppering him with right hands and a shin breaker. After a quick trip to the floor it’s more right hands to Roode’s face followed by a knee drop for two. Bobby heads outside again and Joe gets caught chasing him to change momentum.

Back in and an elbow to the jaw puts Joe down again for a Hennig necksnap and a two count. Joe gets caught in a front facelock but fights him off and grabs an Orton powerslam for two. He counters a PerfectPlex but walks into a spinebuster for two by Roode. The Roode Bomb is easily blocked by the powers of fat and Joe loads up the MuscleBuster but has to settle for the Clutch instead.

Roode jawbreaks his way to freedom and the referee is bumped on the landing. Bobby brings in a trashcan and pulls an Eddie Guerrero by slamming it against the mat, throwing it to Joe and falling down as the referee turns around to call the DQ. The gullibility of referees never ceases to amaze me.

Rating: C. Just a basic wrestling match here with an ending that ties into the hardcore theme at the end. Joe is starting to get back to what he used to be but he needs to actually win a few important matches first. Given the history of team cage matches, there really was no doubt on the winner here.

Velvet Sky is ready for her street fight with Tapa. She’s absolutely gorgeous here.

Velvet Sky vs. Lei’D Tapa

Street fight as mentioned. Velvet is in one of her regular tops and torn jeans which is a nice change of look for her. She charges at Tapa over and over but keeps getting shoved away with ease. A few kicks to the leg have little effect on Lei’D so Velvet tries even more. Tapa charges into two boots in the corner and gets low bridged to the floor. Velvet is pulled outside and sent into the steps for good measure.

Tapa throws her into the apron a few times as the match slows down despite not going that fast in the first place. Velvet is still down and Lei’D goes through the curtain and comes back with a chair but hits the post instead of Velvet. Some kicks slow Tapa down a bit but she rams Velvet into the apron again to take over. The chair is wedged between the top and middle ropes in the corner but gets knocked out when Velvet crashes into it. Tapa puts it back in but charges head first into it herself. Sky gets in some very weak chair shots but Lei’D knocks it out of her hands and the fireman’s carry Stunner is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work at all and was only good because Velvet looks good in jeans. Tapa just sucks the life out of any match she’s in and Velvet wasn’t the right kind of character to carry her to a good match. It just didn’t work and the weapons stuff was nothing special. Bad match, good view for part of it.

Bad Influence knows Joseph Park is Abyss and that he bleeds blood instead of nougat. They can’t make him bleed but they can beat the stuffing out of him and his fishing buddy.

We recap Bad Influence vs. Young/Park, which started as the two of them vs. Young before Park got involved. Bad Influence began going after Park and looking into his background and found out that he was in fact Abyss.

Eric Young/Joseph Park vs. Bad Influence

This is Full Metal Mayhem which means TLC but you win by pinfall. Park grabs a mic but is stopped by a WE WANT ABYSS chant. He says he would love Abyss to walk through the curtain right now because this isn’t his kind of match. Young comes out second and says that he and Park are friends but he has to do something to bring out Abyss. He goes to open up Park’s head but Bad Influence hits the ring to start the fight and prevent the blood from flowing.

Young it quickly sent to the floor and Park gets double teamed with shots to the ribs instead of the face. Eric comes in with a double missile dropkick before bringing in a chair. He pulls it back to hit Park but Kaz steals it away, only to hit the rope and knock the chair back into his own face. Now it’s Eric getting double teamed with a Daniels kick to the head getting two. Back outside with double teaming on Park but Young gets in a few shots, allowing Joseph to put the ladder around his head and spin around to put Bad Influence down again.

Daniels backdrops Young onto a ladder in the corner and a double suplex puts Park onto the same ladder. The fans want blood but get chairs to Park’s back instead. Bad Influence stays on Park with Kaz hitting a baseball slide into the ladder to knock Young down on the floor. Daniels drops an elbow off the apron to Young while Kaz blasts Park in the chest with the chair. Young finally comes back in and fights both guys off but Bad Influence takes him down again.

Eric low bridges them to the floor as Park is back to his feet and things speed up a bit. Shoulder blocks and a Samoan drop get two on Kaz but he’s still able to break up a Boston crab on Daniels. Daniels comes back with ladder shots to send Park outside but Young dropkicks the ladder into Daniels’ chest. Chris pops back up and hits Young with the ladder before going for a climb, only to pulled down and caught with a running powerbomb onto the ladder. Young goes up but Kaz makes a quick save and loads up the Wave of the Future (C4) off the top. Eric fights him off, shoves Kaz to the mat and drops a big elbow for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and the ending spot looked good but there wasn’t much in between. They never even had Abyss show up after hyping him up for the entire match and promo at the beginning. That’s the problem with the whole Park story: everyone knows the ending and wants to get there, but there’s nowhere to go once we get there.

Post match Park’s mouth is busted but he controls himself.

Bully Ray calmly rants about Anderson ending the Aces and 8’s, saying he can never forgive Anderson for what he took away from him. He quotes Behind Blue Eyes by the Who to continue a strange but awesome trend. Ray saw Anderson as his brother but tonight he takes him out like an enemy.

We recap Anderson joining the Aces and 8’s but then costing Ray the title and ending the team. Ray wants revenge in a stretcher match tonight.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson calls Ray a creepy man and says he doesn’t want to see Ray receive medical attention on a stretcher. Therefore, this is now last man standing. Anderson quickly punches Ray down but walks into a bad looking spear from Bully. Some elbows to the head have Anderson in trouble again and he’s sent into the steps to bust him open badly. Ray rips up a fan’s sign and rubs Anderson’s blood on his face.

Bully throws the steps into the ring before whipping Anderson with the chain a bit. Back inside and the steps are stood up in the corner but Ray’s big boot kicks them instead of Anderson. Mr. still can’t fight back though and gets caught in a Rock Bottom for five. More chain shots have Anderson in trouble but Hebner interrupts for no apparent reason. Anderson finally gets up and takes the chain away before getting in some whips of his own.

Anderson drops the chain and brings in a piece of barricade but Ray kicks through a bar and into Anderson’s face for a nine count. Ray takes too much time though and gets slammed down onto the barricade followed by a swanton from Anderson for a VERY close nine. Anderson goes up again but gets crotched back down, setting up a superplex onto the barricade. The referee gets bumped in the corner right before we get a Mic Check onto the barricade but there’s no one to count. The distraction lets Ray hit a quick low blow and beat the count for the win.

Rating: C+. By the numbers last man standing match here but you can’t expect them to do anything huge on a show of this magnitude. This was fine for what it was supposed to be and these guys have some solid chemistry together. I’m sure the big blowoff match between them will be solid enough.

Magnus says he’s allowing the team to be named after Bobby Roode out of the kindness of his heart.

We recap the world title tournament semi-finals and finals plus Roode vs. Angle.

Team Angle vs. Team Roode

Kurt Angle, James Storm, Samoa Joe, ???

Bobby Roode, Magnus, Bro Mans

It’s Lethal Lockdown, meaning WarGames. The first two men fight for five minutes, then Roode’s team sends in another man for a two minute advantage. After those two minutes it’s Team Angle sending in its second man to tie it up for two more minutes. They alternate every two minutes until all eight are in and then first fall wins.

Storm and Jesse Godderz get things going after a LONG stall by Jesse before the bell. Storm will have none of that and rams Jesse into a few fans’ shoes. They head inside for the opening bell and more punishment from James. He finally misses a charge to allow Godderz to get in some choking but Storm comes right back with clotheslines and a running neckbreaker.

A running knee drop and a powerslam have Jesse in even more trouble and there’s a suplex for good measure. Godderz comes back with some more right hands and a leg drop but Storm hits a Thesz Press as Robbie E makes it 2-1. The Bro Mans start their double teaming with choking and stomping as this isn’t really interesting stuff. Samoa Joe ties it up after nothing of note takes place.

Joe easily beats up the tag team champions as the problem of the match becomes clear: you have two comedy guys as half of one team and the other team has at least three former world champions. It’s kind of hard for the heels to have a fighting chance you know? Joe hits ten elbows to the head in the corner and it’s all good guys as Roode makes it 3-2. The exact same sequence follows with the heels taking over with punches and kicks for two minutes until Angle, looking as bored as I’ve ever seen him, comes in to tie us up at three apiece.

Kurt goes right after Roode with right hands and a lot of suplexes. Angle escapes a Roode Bomb and grabs the ankle lock on Bobby until everyone is down in the corner. Magnus comes in for the final heel advantage and brings in a trashcan full of weapons. All of the good guys are hit with various metal objects until Abyss’s clock chimes and things get very serious very fast.

Eric Young wheels out a shopping cart full of weapons as Abyss runs over all of Team Roode with ease. Again, there’s a case to be made that any combination of two Team Angle members could win this four on two but at four apiece it’s totally lopsided. No roof full of weapons this time either.

The good guys easily clean house and it’s an Eye of the Storm for Jesse. Magnus takes Storm down but gets caught in a MuscleBuster. There’s no heat to this match at all. The Bro Mans hit the Samoan low but get chokeslammed by Abyss. He finds a barbed wire board and a Last Call sends Robbie into the Black Hole Slam on the wire for the pin.

Rating: D-. I feel bad about this because the match isn’t really doing anything wrong but MAN was this dull. Like I said, there was absolutely no drama at all to this because the rosters were so one sided. That’s an all-star group on Team Angle and if you put Abyss in one of these things it’s even more unfair for the heels. The rating is misleading though as it’s definitely not a bad match, but it’s just SO uninteresting and basically 25 boring minutes of waiting for the inevitable.

A highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, TNA continues to screw up the good stuff they have. If you watch this show, turn it off before the main event and you’ll be thanking me immensely. I can’t tell you how important it was to have current stories on this show. The One Night Only shows are so dull because the stories begin and end on those nights. This was a show with feuds that didn’t need an introduction because they’re (mostly) still going. I could easily see this being Lockdown if it was held at the end of January.

Therefore, of course TNA didn’t talk about it. I’m serious when I say I had no idea this show aired. I knew it was taped but that’s the last I had heard of it. The show is really entertaining and I’d have no problems paying $15 to see this. The main event sucks but it’s because of the lineups being so one sided. I really liked the atmosphere too. The regular One Night Only shows have the same set as Impact and it doesn’t look interesting at all. Nice touch and one of the best One Night Onlys yet.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 30, 2014
Location: Hydro Arena, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

Now stop me if you’ve heard this before, but tonight we find out who the new power is in TNA to oppose the current power. The big question is who will it be, with names such as MVP, Sting, AJ Styles and Billy Corgan being thrown out as possible storyline investors in TNA. Either way they seem to have the American Wolves as backup so they can’t be all bad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the investor storyline which has been going on for a full two weeks now. We also look at Sting’s contract being ripped up. Again note that it’s a contract and not a career.

They’re in an arena tonight too which looks FAR better than the Impact Zone.

We immediately go to the back with Magnus, Spud and Ethan Carter being separated from Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe. This is Scotland so the British champion is loathed. Magnus speaks extra slowly but says that’s not going to be enough for the Scots. The heat on Magnus is excellent here. People are upset that Sting has fallen to the Reign of Magnus, just like Jeff Hardy and AJ Styles. He ended Sting just as he promised he would and it was just business. Magnus refers to what happened to Sting as the thinning of the herd because Dixie agrees that they should rid TNA of the dinosaurs.

TNA needs to clear the way for the Bro Mans, Zema Ion, Rockstar Spud and Magnus of this business. Ethan doesn’t look pleased that his name was omitted nor that Magnus says he got rid of AJ, Hardy and Sting by himself. Before they can argue though, here are Angle and Joe to clear the ring. Kurt says he’s here to avenge the screwing of the herd. Angle talks about Magnus being a paper champion but Magnus says it’s killing Angle that he became a bigger star than the Mafia.

Joe says the only thing killing him is that Magnus is still breathing. Magnus pitches a tag match but an Ethan chant starts up. The match is on as long as Angle and Joe’s futures in TNA are on the line. Joe wants one more stipulation: if either of them pin Magnus, they’re the new #1 contender. The paper champion card is played again and Magnus says yes but Dixie comes out to say no way. She says there’s too much going on to have to worry about that as well but Magnus says the match is on anyway.

A car pulls up out back.

After a break the Wolves get out of the car but block a camera from getting in. Anyone that wants to talk to the investor has to go through them.

Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa

We get a Beautiful People reunion, complete with the near kiss entrance. Gail and Tapa jump them before the bell and it’s Gail pounding on Madison to start. Velvet avoids the running cross body in the corner and makes the tag off to Velvet who cleans house. Things quickly break down and Madison takes down Tapa, allowing Velvet to hit In Yo Face on Gail for the pin at 1:50.

Post match Chris Sabin comes out to yell at Velvet, saying she’s been ignoring him all week. Maybe her hormones are messed up because it’s that time or something, but she has one more chance to apologize and things will be ok. Velvet breaks up with him to a big pop.

Joe and Angle break into Bobby Roode’s locker room for a fight as we go to another break.

Back from a break with Joe pulling Angle off Roode. Angle says Roode cost AJ and Sting their jobs and he’ll do it again tonight. Roode says he would so Joe chokes Roode to a couch and threatens to kill him if he interferes. Angle and Joe leave as Roode smiles.

Here’s James Storm with something to say. He talks about Gunner making a good partner but then something made them fall apart. Storm asks Gunner to come out here so they can put an end to this right now. Gunner says they were friends but once he got the briefcase they blew up. He had to do these things for his son and family and Storm would have done the same thing for his family.

Storm isn’t sure with that but Gunner goes into a story about being in the Marine Corps and fighting for the men that were beside him. We get a USA chant in Scotland as Storm talks about Gunner needing to take credit for how good he is. Storm loves to be a dad and drink beer at night but his daughter told asked why he was mad at Gunner. Storm couldn’t answer that, so he’s got Gunner’s back no matter what.

They shake hands and seem to make things right when Bad Influence breaks them up. Kaz says the only thing worse than a drunken dime store cowboy is a drunken dime store cowboy. He knows the thing Storm wants more than anything is that briefcase. Daniels suggests a tag match with the briefcase on the line. He’ll do it if he trusts Storm of course. The fight is on and we get a referee as we head to a break.

Bad Influence vs. James Storm/Gunner

We come back from a break with Storm chopping Kaz in the corner before bringing in Gunner for some shots to the head. Gunner gets double teamed down and it’s Daniels taking over with right hands. An enziguri looks to set up the Angel’s Wings but Gunner backdrops him to escape.

Hot tag brings in Storm who cleans house with a middle rope cross body to Daniels but Kaz saves him from the Eye of the Storm. A missile dropkick sends Storm into the corner for a tag to Gunner and the former Marine cleans house. There’s a slingshot suplex to Kaz and a Last Call to Daniels, setting up a top rope headbutt to Kaz for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part but it wasn’t terrible. There really isn’t a big problem with the match but it came and went so fast (remember that about half of it was spent in a commercial) that it didn’t have time to go anywhere. I can’t picture Gunner as a world title contender but I’m sure there’s more coming to this story.

Video on Samoa Joe’s TNA career.

Roode comes in to see an irate Dixie and demands a title shot in the main event of Lockdown. She tries to throw him out but he says no. Instead Dixie gets her checkbook but that’s not what Roode wants either. Dixie has a week to figure this out and until then, she gets no more favors.

Eric Young is thrilled that he and Abyss get a title shot tonight. ODB isn’t thrilled because she’s worried about Abyss being a monster. She leaves and Abyss walks up with a bag in his hand.

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s Spud to get answers about the investor. First off we insult the crowd by calling them the British B-Team before Spud demands the Wolves come to the ring right now. Spud gets right to the chase, asking who the investor is and even pointing a flashlight in their eyes. He goes on a rant about how awesome he is and says Dixie called him a fierce lion and tiger so talk.

Spud slaps Richards in the face and there go the jackets. Edwards throws Spud in the air and Davey kicks him in the ribs before saying Dixie will find out when everyone else finds out. The investor is also very interested in the main event and if anyone interferes, they’re fired. They’ve got me intrigued if nothing else.

We recap Eric Young revealing that Joseph Park is Abyss.

Tag Titles: Bro Mans vs. Abyss/Eric Young

Robbie throws Eric to the apron to start and we get the Flair strut. Abyss tries to grab Robbie from the apron but gets a stern lecture, allowing Jesse to come in off the top. Abyss comes in for more choking but Eric has to keep telling him to go back to the apron. Eric gets double teamed again before Abyss tries to come in for the third time in about two minutes.

The Bro Mans get to double team Young a bit more and Jesse gets two off a dropkick. Eric is launched into the corner for the tag to Abyss and house is cleaned, including a choke to Zema Ion. The referee pulls Abyss off and gets Shock Treatment for his efforts, drawing a DQ at about 5:00.

Rating: D. This storyline already feels really old and it’s getting even worse. Eric Young’s act of being insane and so crazy he’s brilliant has never appealed to me at all but it’s been going on for years now. The match was boring as we were just waiting for the ending with Abyss going nuts.

Eric gets a chokeslam post match and Abyss walks away.  Young grabs the mic and asks if this is how it ends.  There’s one experiment left so he asks if Abyss wants to get crazy.  Next week: Monster’s Ball.

Eddie Edwards says the investor is coming soon.

Bully Ray is pushing a casket in the back.

Sam Shaw has some wine with Christy Hemme and Sam puts his hand in a candle but doesn’t notice. They go off to see the rest of the palce and we switch to security camera footage. Christy looks out the window and Sam likes her hair down better. They go to another room but Sam sends her to get more wine. He turns on a light and it’s a shrine to Christy with pictures everywhere. Why do I have a feeling that no one is going to, I don’t know, TELL CHRISTY ABOUT THIS?

Here’s Ray with the casket to say Anderson has taken away Aces and 8’s and Ray’s identity. Therefore, Ray wants one final match: a casket match. Anderson comes out so Ray threatens to piledrive Anderson’s wife and kids. The match is accepted and Anderson opens the casket lid, ramming it into Ray’s face. Anderson throws Ray and a chair inside before hitting Ray low. Some chair shots to the back send Ray running and Anderson stands tall.

Video on Angle, talking about him being a cyborg.

Dixie, Ethan and Magnus are ready for the main event.

Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. Magnus/Ethan Carter III

Joe/Angle’s careers vs. a title shot if Magnus loses the fall. Ethan goes behind Angle to start and grabs a headlock. Angle takes him down with an armbar and it’s off to Joe for some right hands in the corner. Back to Angle as this dominance continues, only to have Kurt miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. We cut to the back and see the Wolves getting out of the car and putting the camera on the ground as a third person gets out of the car.

Back from a break with Ethan holding Angle in a chinlock before it’s off to the champ for the first time. That lasts all of fifteen seconds before it’s back to Ethan who charges into a belly to belly suplex, allowing for the hot tag to Joe. Magnus comes in as well and walks into a powerslam and a bad looking cross armbreaker. Carter gets suplexed on the floor again as Joe locks on the Koquina Clutch for the submission at 9:55.

Rating: D+. Not a match here but the champion shouldn’t be tapping out clean in less than ten minutes. It wasn’t a good match either but it does set up Magnus’ next challenger which wasn’t clear. Also I like Joe getting back in the title scene as he hadn’t been near it for a long time now.

Post match Dixie comes out to yell at Magnus but Joe starts a YOU TAPPED OUT chant. Angle says that he’s done it all here in TNA and now he’s back. Kurt says he’ll take that Hall of Fame induction now and make sure to invite the investor. Dixie demands the investor come out right now and, after a delay, it’s……..MVP. This would have been huge if it was four years ago but now it’s just not bad.

Overall Rating: B-. This show had its faults but it did one thing right: it had me wanting to know who the investor was all the way up until the ending. The reveal wasn’t as good as it could have been but there were several worse options out there. I don’t care to see this storyline yet again but at least it won’t be as miserable as it could have been. At the end of the day, this is what you get with TNA so you have to learn to live with it. Not a great show but it did what it was supposed to.

Results

Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne b. Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – In Yo Face to Kim

James Storm/Gunner b. Bad Influence – Top rope headbutt to Kazarian

Bro Mans b. Abyss/Eric Young via DQ when Abyss attacked the referee

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. Magnus/Ethan Carter III – Koquina Clutch to Magnus

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TNA: Best of the Asylum Years
Location: TNA Asylum, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

This is actually my first DVD review. TNA has put out a lot of DVDs on their Youtube page for kind of a preview weekend deal and this was voted as the one I should review. If the videos stay up I might do a few more of these. It’s a simple concept: the Asylum is the name of TNA’s old home arena in Nashville and this is a compilation of great matches from the venue. Let’s get to it.

Total run time:…..FIVE AND A HALF HOURS??? Now I remember why I don’t do DVDs.

Expect this to be kind of quick in some places as there isn’t much recapping you can do for a documentary. I haven’t seen a ton of the old TNA stuff though so expect some details to be missing.

We open with a basic history of the company and go into a discussion of the first PPV. Jeff Jarrett talks about how big a market Nashville has been for wrestling over the years. Dixie talking about it gets on my nerves as she feels like someone who won a fan contest to get on the DVD.

Thankfully the matches are interspersed throughout the DVD instead of being all at the end.

NWA World Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Sabu

From July 24, 2002 with Shamrock defending. There’s a ladder at ringside and Tenay quickly tells us this is grab the title or submission. That’s different to say the least. Ferrara goes on a rant about how this should be Jarrett or Malice getting the shot while Shamrock cranks on the leg. Sabu rolls him up and grabs a leg lock of his own but Shamrock is just fine on the mat. Apparently security has bailed over something that happened earlier in the night.

Ken works on a cross armbreaker but lets go for a rope break. A quick snap mare puts Sabu down and we hit the chinlock. The fans don’t seem pleased with this and Sabu going for a cross armbreaker of his own doesn’t help. Ken grabs a leg bar but Sabu gets out again as we hear Ricky Steamboat will be in charge next week. A leg lariat sets up the slingshot legdrop from Sabu and it’s back to the armbreaker. Now the fans want a ladder but get Shamrock charging into Sabu in the corner.

Sabu gets bored with the wrestling stuff and goes for the ladder but the champion baseball slides it into Sabu instead. They head up the ramp with Shamrock throwing Sabu into the dancers’ cage. Sabu is busted open so he sends Shamrock into the barricade at ringside. A table is set up in the aisle but Shamrock avoids a triple jump flip dive. Sabu’s back is all sliced up and the blood is literally flowing. The ladder is sent inside but the lights go out as Shamrock grabs the belt. The lights come back on and Malice is on the ladder and pounding on a Ken. A chokeslam sends Shamrock down and Malice pulls down the title for the no contest.

Rating: D. To clarify, the first match on this set has a screwy ending. Just throwing that out there. Anyway, the match was nothing interesting though some of the big spots weren’t bad. The problem though is how much of a ladder match can you get with less than ten minutes to work with? It didn’t help that the announcers talked about how Malice was going to do something throughout the match.

On to the X-Division with the typical X-Division stars saying the usual X-Division talking points. Jeff Hardy’s face paint looks ridiculous.

X-Division Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Low Ki vs. AJ Styles

From August 28, 2002. This is a ladder match with Ki defending. They circle each other for a bit until Styles drops down and grabs a ladder. Both other guys slide to the floor as well with Styles hitting Jerry with the ladder, only to have Low Ki kick the ladder back into AJ. They head back inside where Low Ki kicks Lynn off the apron. A handspring kick takes Styles down as well as Jerry comes back in.

Lynn hits a sweet spinning tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to take the champ down before pounding on Styles in the corner. Low Ki gets put in a surfboard but Styles breaks it up and stomps on Low Ki a bit. Jerry suplexes AJ down and puts him in a Liontamer, only to have Low Ki fire off kicks to break it up. Lynn won’t let it go and shouts to kick him harder. Low Ki is fine with that and kicks Lynn hard enough to break up the hold.

A running kick in the corner takes Styles down again before loading him into the Ki Crusher. Instead of dropping him though, Low Ki rams him into Jerry in the corner to put both guys down. The champ goes to get the ladder but Jerry baseball slides it back into Low Ki to take over again. Styles heads to the floor as well to kick the champ in the head before dropping Lynn face first onto the apron.

With the ladder bridged between the ring and the barricade, all three guys stand on top of it and slug it out before a big headbutt sends all three guys to the ground. Lynn is up first and sends a ladder into the ring which is dropkicked into AJ’s ribs and chest on the mat. Low Ki is up again and starts setting up the ladder, only to have AJ deck him from behind. The ladder is leaning against the ropes as AJ GOES OFF on the champ, only to walk into a punch from Jerry.

Lynn and Styles launch Low Ki into the ladder in a double hiptoss and it’s one on one. AJ does a Daniel Bryan backflip off the ladder and tries a tornado DDT, only to have Lynn counter and hit a northern lights suplex to send AJ back first into the ladder. Ki is back in and kicks Jerry down but realizes he can’t pin him. A charge in the corner is caught by Lynn but he ranas Jerry into the ladder to put all three guys down again.

It’s AJ back up first to ram the champ with the ladder before he tries to climb, only to get kicked by Low Ki. AJ is hung in a Tree of Woe in the ladder where Low Ki fires off kicks to the chest. Now Low Ki climbs but Jerry makes the save and suplexes him down off the ladder to put everyone down again. AJ gets up and hits the moonsault DDT on Low Ki to pop the crowd again. Jerry pounds on Styles and catches a jumping champion in a running Liger Bomb to take over yet again.

There’s a second ladder in the ring now as Styles brings in another one. Low Ki slides out and brings in a third as this could get very messy in a hurry. The challengers stop fighting long enough to make a save of Low Ki as Styles and Low Ki fight on top. Low Ki hooks a Dragon Sleeper on top of the ladder (grab the title you dolt) but here’s Lynn again and all three are on a ladder.

In a pretty awesome move, Low Ki has his ladder shoved down but he gets his foot on the top rope and shoves himself and the ladder back to an upright position. AJ gets shoved to the floor and it’s Lynn vs. Low Ki. Jerry is like DIE YOU KICKING SPOT MONKEY and cradle piledrives him off the ladder. Lynn climbs up and wins the title to end the show.

Rating: B+. Solid, solid match here with all three guys beating the tar out of each other. It’s not on the level of one of the TLC matches, but for what we had here, this was one of the better ladder matches you’ll see in awhile. I’d have preferred just Lynn and AJ because I’m not a fan of Low Ki at all, but the shove back off the rope was good enough for me to overlook him. Solid stuff.

Next up: the world title, with Tenay talking about how this is a wrestling company instead of an entertainment company. Abyss in full gear, is a strange sight to see in a sitdown interview. The gist here is that things got big in a hurry and a lot of that was due to Raven vs. Jarrett.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven

From April 30, 2003 with Jarrett defending. Raven has Julio Dinero with him but unfortunately not the more famous lackey: CM Punk. He also has his chick Alexis Laree, more famous as Mickie James. This is billed as the showdown with Raven wanting to claim his destiny. Feeling out process to start with Raven slamming the champion down and celebrating. A drop toehold ticks Jeff off even more so he erupts with right hands and a dropkick to send Raven out to the floor.

Raven is sent into the barricade but some interference from the Gathering (Raven’s stable) lets him take over again. Jeff knocks Raven down and dives on the Gathering as he foreshadows his lucha libre skills. Another drop toehold puts Jarrett into the steps as Raven has been busted open on something. Dinero has set up a table for Raven who lays a bloody Jarrett on the wood. Jeff gets inside before Raven can dive on him though and the fight continues.

Dinero slides in a chair for the third drop toehold from Raven for two. A knee to the ribs puts Jarrett down again and Raven kicks him in the head like the villain that he is. There’s a sleeper as the fans are behind Jarrett. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker and a Diamond Cutter of all things to put both guys down. Some right hands block the Raven Effect and a nice dropkick gets two for the champ.

Dinero gets a dropkick as well and Jarrett slams Alexis. Another Raven Effect attempt is countered with an enziguri for two and a catapult into the corner gets the same. The Stroke hits from out of nowhere for another near fall but no real pop from the crowd. A sloppy Raven Effect gets the same but Jeff comes back with a Cactus Clothesline to send both outside. Raven is laid out on the table and Jeff drops a middle rope elbow to drive him through it.

Back inside and Jarrett lays Raven out with a DDT but Dinero makes the save. The referee FINALLY ejects the Gathering but Raven shoves Jarrett into the referee, knocking him into the barricade. Both guys kick each other low as the Disciples of the New Church come out to brawl with the Gathering. Raven calls out Extreme Revolution (your usual ECW guys) to destroy and handcuff Jarrett.

Saturn and Credible hit a Conchairto with superkicks on Jarrett but the lights go out. Back on and here’s Sabu to take out Raven and the rest of the ECW guys. Everyone else leaves and Jarrett ducks a chair shot, sending the chair into the ropes and back onto Raven’s head for two. Bill Behrens (boss) comes out to uncuff Jarrett but Raven grabs the Even Flow for two. Not that it matters as Jarrett pops up and hits the Stroke for the pin.

Rating: B-. I was really digging this until everything fell apart at the end. There had to be some insanity in there but based on this and this alone, giving Raven the title wouldn’t have been the worst idea. There’s chemistry here and a natural dichotomy between these two which makes for a good match like this one.

Next up: people saying TNA was going to die. I’ll give them credit for this: people have been saying that for over 11 years now and TNA keeps hanging in there.

Triple X vs. AJ Styles/D’Lo Brown

From May 7, 2003. Triple X is Elix Skipper/Low Ki and the winners go on to a #1 contenders match later tonight. Brown and Low Ki trade strikes to start until Brown grabs a slam and drops some elbows. A blind tag brings in AJ for a springboard missile dropkick and a knee drop for two. Low Ki has to kick someone before he explodes so he takes over with a cartwheel kick.

Off to Skipper but AJ nips up into a hurricanrana for two. Brown comes in and slams AJ onto Skipper’s chest but Low Ki comes back in for some chops. Skipper is back in almost immediately and gets suplexed down. A flapjack gives Brown even more of a breather and he dives into a tag to Styles. The good guys chop Elix down but he pulls Brown to the floor and sends him into the barricade.

Back inside and Low Ki kicks AJ in the head to stagger him again before Skipper comes in again for some forearms. Styles counters the Play of the Day and makes another hot tag to Brown. Everything breaks down and D’Lo hits a double shaky head legdrop. A Cactus Clothesline sends Brown and Skipper to the floor but Brown slides back in to catch a cartwheeling Low Ki in the Sky High for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nice finish to a boring match. I’m not sure why this match was on the set as there were some much more interesting tag matches. There’s a good chance this was based on the name power instead of the match itself, which is understandable given how long it would take to watch every match.

AJ Styles was awesome in case you didn’t know that. He used the X-Division to get to the main event and had chemistry with everyone. That’s true actually.

NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Raven vs. Jeff Jarrett

From June 11, 2003 and Jarrett is defending. After some big match intros we’re ready to go and it’s one fall to a finish. Styles is quickly thrown to the floor but he runs back in to deck a talking Jarrett. Raven gets kicked down by AJ but Jarrett hits a picture perfect dropkick to take AJ down as well. Jarrett and Raven brawl to the floor and AJ hits a big flip dive to take them both out. AJ whips Raven into the barricade so hard that it’s knocked off the hinges, only to have Raven charge back over the steps with a clothesline to Jarrett.

Back in and AJ pounds on Jarrett in the corner but gets caught in a running powerbomb for two. Raven ducks Jeff’s enziguri and there’s an STF on the champion until AJ makes the save. Styles hits the moonsault into a DDT for two on Jarrett but Raven makes the save. Neither Jarrett or Raven can hit their finishers so here’s AJ with a chair to crack Raven’s head, busting him open in the process.

AJ and Jarrett form a quick alliance to double team Raven but Jarrett doesn’t care for AJ going for a cover after a springboard hurricanrana. The roles reverse when Jarrett slams Raven’s head into the mat as AJ makes the save. Now we get a combination reverse chinlock and half crab on Raven until AJ lets go and goes up for a guillotine legdrop. Raven sends Jarrett forward though and the champ is knocked out.

It’s Raven’s turn to take over now with a superkick to Jeff and a series of clotheslines to AJ. A chair is brought in but Raven gets caught in the drop toehold. AJ is knocked to the floor and Raven counters the Stroke into the Raven Effect for two due to Shane Douglas pulling Raven to the floor. They fight to the back, leaving AJ to blast Jarrett with the belt. Instead of covering though Styles goes up top for a Low Down (frog splash) for two.

AJ pounds away in the corner but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for two. Styles comes back with a powerbomb but can’t hook a Figure Four. Instead he sunsets flips Jeff into a Styles Clash but Jarrett rolls away and slams AJ into the referee in the corner. AJ breaks up a superplex attempt but his springboard 450 hits knees in a painful looking landing. Cue Vince Russo with a guitar to crack over Jarrett’s head, setting up the Styles Clash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This was much more of a collection of spots than a good match. It’s also a match that would have been better if I knew all of the backstory behind it. That’s a problem with most of this DVD: the matches have no context at all, meaning it’s hard to care about anything going on out there. It’s even worse when this isn’t a very well known time in the company’s history, meaning people aren’t as likely to know this stuff off the top of their heads.

Next up: tag teams, with various midcarders talking about how important teams are in wrestling. I do like Storm’s philosophy on winning: “I win so I can go home and sit in a big comfortable chair and drink a lot of beer.”

Tag Titles: Triple X vs. America’s Most Wanted

From June 25, 2003 and inside a cage. This isn’t the famous cage match these teams had but I’ve seen this one before and it’s awesome as well. The champions XXX are comprised of Elix Skipper and Christopher Daniels while the challengers are James Storm/Chris Harris. This is the fifth match but XXX has won via outside interference every single time. This is also TNA’s first ever cage match.

It’s a brawl to start but the referee makes them tag to get on my nerves. Harris bulldogs Daniels down before AMW picks up Skipper and launches him into Daniels. This is pin or submission only, meaning escape doesn’t count. Daniels and Harris are the official starters and the fans chant for the Fallen Angel. Skipper gets in a cheap shot from the apron before throwing him face first into the cage for two. Harris is already busted open.

The champions take turns stomping on Harris’ forehead until Daniels gets two off a springboard moonsault press by Skipper. Harris gets a lucky shot off a running clothesline but Daniels kicks his head off for two. Back to Skipper who sends Harris into the cage again but Harris comes off the ropes with another clothesline. There’s the hot tag to Storm who cleans house, sending Skipper chest first into the cage with a reverse suplex. A powerslam gets two on Daniels but he kicks Storm’s knee out to slow him down.

We get a Kill the Cowboy chant, which is hopefully a remnant from the early days of the company rather than the fans not liking Storm’s current work. The champions hit a suplex/cross body combo on the bloody Storm but Skipper’s ribs are injured from being sent into the cage. Back up and the two of them rams heads, setting up a double tag to Harris and Daniels. Harris takes over with the raw power by ramming Daniels head first into the cage over and over. Skipper’s ribs get reacquainted with the steel as well as Daniels is busted open too.

Harris loads up the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) but Daniels counters into the Angel’s Wings (lifting sitout Pedigree) for a very close two. Everything breaks down and Daniels blocks a reverse tornado DDT by taking Storm onto the top rope for an STO to the mat. Skipper belly to bellys Harris down before sending him into the cage again. Elix goes up top for no apparent reason but gets powerbombed down in a HUGE crash to give Harris a near fall.

Daniels hits Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) on Storm for an even closer two as Harris makes yet another save. Harris and Daniels go up top but Daniels backs away across the rope, allowing Harris to hit a diving spear for an even closer near fall. Skipper takes Harris down with the Play of the Day before going for a very big climb. Elix dives off the top with a high cross body but reinjures his ribs in the process. STORYTELLING BABY!

A delayed cover gets two so Skipper goes up again, only to be knocked down a bit and then out to the floor. Storm superkicks Daniels down and the Death Sentence (spinebuster/legdrop) mostly misses Daniels for two. Skipper tries to climb back in but gets knocked back to the floor. Harris goes up to the very top of the cage for a HUGE Death Sentence to crush Daniels for the pin and the titles.

Rating: A. There’s your price of admission right there. This was all about taking two teams and having them beat the tar out of each other for twenty minutes. On top of that we have the story of Skipper’s ribs in a good piece of psychology, a rarity in matches like these. The amazing thing is these four would top this effort in another cage match at Turning Point the following year. Great match.

Now we talk about people coming into TNA because they thought it was the next big thing. The problem is they’re mainly talking about retired guys like Rick Steiner and the Road Warriors, who do add name recognition but are there for quick paychecks instead of doing anything long term.

Raven vs. Shane Douglas

From September 17, 2003 and this is hair vs. hair. Shane is part of the New Church and has James Mitchell in his corner. The stalling begins early with Douglas arguing with a fan and Raven saying just bring it. No contact in the first minute but Raven cranks it up with rights and lefts to the jaw. Raven sends Shane to the floor but refuses to give chase as he knows what’s waiting for him if he charges back inside.

Shane runs to the floor on his own this time but gets whipped into the barricade and drilled in the forehead. They head into the crowd with Shane staggering away from Raven after being rammed into various hard objects. Raven drops a leg on a chair onto Shane’s face and hits him in the head with a garbage can. Thankfully the camera work here is really solid and there’s nothing blocking the view. That used to drive me crazy in ECW.

Back in and Raven puts on a Cobra Clutch to keep Shane in trouble but Douglas bails to the floor to avoid the Raven Effect. Shane comes back in and sends Raven to the floor again with a drop toehold. The brawl continues at ringside with Shane stumbling face first into the steps, busting him open. Shane sends him into the announcers’ table and the steps to come back though to give us matching cuts on the forehead.

They head inside again for a Hennig necksnap on Raven followed by an abdominal stretch. Raven counters the hold twice in a row before putting on one of his own, only to be hiptossed out to the floor. Back in and Shane looks to be vomiting in a disturbing visual. Raven kicks him in the face and grabs a chair but Shane comes back with a chain (signature weapon) shot to the head. It’s only good for two though and Raven comes back with a drop toehold into the chair for the same result.

A superkick drops Shane again but New Church member Slash pulls the referee to the floor. Raven takes out Slash but has a bulldog countered, resulting in a ref bump. Here’s New Church member Sinn (Kizarny/Sinn Bowdee) to help with the beatdown but the Gathering (Julio Dinero and CM Punk) come out to take the New Church to the back. Shane takes too much time loading up a table and gets caught by the Raven Effect for two. This DVD has made that move look so lame.

Raven goes up top but gets shoved through the table for another near fall. Another table is brought in and Raven hits the Effect through said table but the lights go out. It doesn’t help that Shane clearly kicked out before the arena went dark, but they come back on to reveal a mystery man who has been around for months. He pulls off a mask to reveal Vampiro who lays out Raven to give Shane the pin, costing Raven his hair.

Rating: C+. Overbooking aside, it’s amazing how much easier it is to sit through a Shane Douglas match when I don’t have to listen to him talk. Raven really did have a career rebirth in TNA and was having some awesome matches in this run. I’m not sure what the New Church deal was (I know it was a stable and all that jazz) but the blowff (I guess?) was good here.

Post match Raven is forced to have his hair shaved and then look into a mirror. Don West is furious and throws down his headset.

On to Sting who you knew was coming. Everyone was in awe of him showing up because Sting was the one big name free agent they ever got. That would be the case for the next several years.

AJ Styles/Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett/Lex Luger

From November 17, 2003. Luger alone could make this a trainwreck. Sting comes out first here which is a strange choice to say the least. It doesn’t help that JB calls Styles (accompanied by Jimmy Hart of all people) Sting’s opponent. Jeff is world champion because he’s Jeff Jarrett and this is TNA. Luger is heavily muscled but clearly not in the best of shape. Before the match, Jarrett’s manager Don Callis (Cyrus/The Jackyl) says that AJ doesn’t belong in the same ring as Luger and Jarrett. Sting of course disagrees and we’re ready to go.

Jarrett starts with Sting and is quickly shoved down and headlocked. A Stinger Splash misses but Sting puts on the brakes and clotheslines Jarrett down. Off to AJ for the drop down into a dropkick and a knee to the chest for two. The good guys both try Scorpions on the heels but Luger and Jarrett bail to the floor.

It’s off to Luger for his first match in America since WCW went under. AJ is easily shoved down and a gorilla press shows off Luger’s power. We hit the bearhug for a few moments before Lex drops him to tag Jarrett back in. A spinebuster puts Styles down again and it’s back to Luger. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Jeff who counters a hurricanrana attempt. AJ is stuck on Jeff’s shoulders but gets him into the corner for the tag to Sting, only to have Luger distract the referee so the tag doesn’t count.

Jeff’s Figure Four is blocked but AGAIN the referee misses the hot tag. Luger sends AJ to the floor so Sting comes in sans tag to clean house. A Death Drop gets two on Jarrett but Luger breaks up the pin. Sting escapes the Torture Rack attempt as AJ comes back in with a springboard cross body on Luger for two. In a HORRIBLE looking ending, Sting comes in with the ball bat and hits Luger twice in the ribs and chest. Luger, ever the great performer, TOTALLY NO SELLS THEM until Sting hits him in the jaw, knocking Luger into a rollup by AJ for the pin. Luger pops up after the pin and looks shocked instead of, you know, dead.

Rating: D. The ending drags this down even more than I expected it to. Luger was trying but it was the same act that was getting tired eight years before this match. I’m not sure how much you can blame Sting as he hit Luger with a freaking BASEBALL BAT but Luger wouldn’t sell the shots. That just looked ridiculous and nearly more comical than anything else.

We talk about Jarrett’s struggles as champion, meaning he’s fighting everyone in the company at once. This transitions into Dusty vs. Jarrett for control of the company which transitions into a discussion of how TNA has grown over the years.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett

From November 26, 2003 and this is for control of the Asylum, which I assume means control of the company. It’s also billed as Fans’ Revenge, meaning there are “fans” at ringside with leather straps to act as lumberjacks. Jeff is world champion but of course this is non-title. The fans come out to Hulk Hogan’s WCW theme music (American Made) which made my head snap back to the monitor.

Jarrett offers to beat up all the fans and save Dusty for last. Tenay dedicates this match to recently deceased NWA World Champion Dick Hutton, which is a name you probably won’t hear more than five times ever in modern wrestling. Dusty scores with a quick Bionic Elbow and Jeff instinctively rolls to the floor, only to run back inside to escape the straps. Now Jeff runs from another elbow attempt and takes his chances on the floor.

More strap shots send him back inside to face the Dream as the fans (the real ones, not the indy workers at ringside) are getting into this. That same sequence happens a few more times as Rhodes just stands in the corner. Jeff finally realizes he’s fighting Dusty Rhodes and punches him down with ease but Dusty starts shaking. The Flip Flop and Fly sets up the Bionic Elbow to send Jeff out for more strapping.

Dusty takes one of the straps for some shots of his own but the referee gets bumped. Jeff gets the strap and beats on Dusty but Jimmy Hart and Don Callis (managers) come in to fight. This draws out Director of Authority Erik Watts to chokeslam Jarrett…and that’s that. The DVD just goes to another history package, meaning I guess it was a no contest?

Rating: D+. This falls under the category of you know what you’re getting. Dusty was fifty eight years old and hadn’t been an active wrestler in over ten years. The match was about the lumberjacks getting in some shots on Jarrett and giving the fans something amusing to see. Dusty would stick around as an authority figure four years.

On to disc 2.

We hit 2004 and talk about how TNA is more than just another indy company and is really getting a reputation. Again, that’s true. Dixie talks about getting in big names like Sting and Scott Hall coming in, even though Hall was there when the company started. Abyss was thrilled with having Terry Funk and Sting as his co-workers after growing up watching them.

Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Raven/Terry Funk

From February 18, 2004. Punk and Dinero are still the Gathering even though they’re not under Raven’s control anymore. Apparently this is Raven’s big return from an unknown amount of time gone. Dinero blasts Funk in the back with a chair before the bell as things starts in a brawl. Raven puts on a right side up Tarantula on Punk before Dinero comes in to save his heel partner. It’s SO strange to see Punk with shoulder length dirty blonde hair and yellow shorts.

Everyone heads outside where Funk is busted open. Punk takes Terry back inside to talk a lot of trash but Terry comes back with a Stunner of all things to send CM to the floor. Dinero comes in but gets decked as well. There’s the spinning toe hold and a small package for two on Julio as Punk makes the save. Dinero’s top rope backsplash hits Terry’s eternally damaged knees and Funk crawls over to the corner….but gets punched by CM Punk because the blood has blinded him.

The tag brings in Raven a few seconds later and Bird Boy cleans house. We get the rag (don’t ask) on Punk’s face and a bulldog/clothesline combo takes the Gathering down. Another Funk Stunner puts Dinero down and we get the TUMBLEWEED (abdominal stretch into a rolling rollup) for two. Raven comes back in and hits a quick DDT for the pin on Dinero.

Rating: D. This was about having Funk in there and that’s about it. The Stunners were out of nowhere but almost ignored by the announcers. I’ll give Terry this much: he isn’t just out there throwing punches and nothing more. It’s also strange to see Punk as a glorified indy guy instead of one of the biggest stars in the world.

Post match James Mitchell brings in a taser to take out Raven but Funk takes the shot instead.

We talk about Abyss vs. AJ Styles who feuded multiple times over the years. Abyss gets the spotlight here for a change.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

From March 17, 2004 and this is a ladder match for the #1 contendership. The brawl is on immediately and AJ hits the Pele (called a bicycle kick here) to stagger the monster. AJ tries to hit the ropes but Abyss hits a HARD clothesline to take his head off. A chop that would make Big Show cringe puts AJ down and Abyss goes to get the ladder. Abyss shoves AJ down with the ladder from the floor but AJ just rams into Abyss to knock him back to the floor. Styles goes up the ladder but hops down and moves the ladder closer to the ropes. It takes too long to set up though and Abyss shoves the ladder down.

Both guys are back inside now and Abyss whips Styles hard into the ladder. The monster climbs up VERY slowly so AJ makes an easy save before bulldogging him onto the ladder. A springboard dropkick sends Abyss to the floor and Styles follows out with a dive. Now it’s AJ going up but Abyss blasts him in the back with a chair before wedging it between the ropes in the corner. Shock Treatment puts AJ down again and Abyss pulls out another ladder. This one stays outside though as he bridges it between the ring and the barricade.

AJ blocks a chokeslam by biting Abyss’ fingers but the monster throws him head first into the chair in the corner to knock Styles loopy. Abyss throws in some more chairs but AJ counters a powerbomb into the Styles Clash (really a pancake due to the legs not being wrapped around Abyss’ arms but close enough) in a very surprising power display. AJ goes up the ladder for a 450 splash, drawing a well earned THIS IS AWESOME chant.

They both climb again but AJ slows Abyss down with some kicks to the head. AJ can’t reach the contract so he busts out a sunset powerbomb to put Abyss through two chairs set up in the corner. Cue Raven to distract AJ for no explained reason, allowing Abyss to shove the ladder over, sending Styles FACE FIRST into the bridged ladder. Abyss easily gets the contract. Apparently Raven was trying to get Russo’s attention or something.

Rating: B+. They had my favorite match ever in TNA so it’s no surprise that I liked this too. It’s the David vs. Goliath formula which is going to work almost every time, especially when you have two people that can work at a high level. The ending felt abrupt but the big spots almost all worked here. Really good stuff, as expected.

We finally go back to the X-Division and talk about all the guys that came in to fill out the division. The expert on this subject:….Abyss? Oh never mind as he’s talking about all kinds of new guys coming in and not just X-Division people. The new guy in focus here: Monty Brown.

Sabu vs. Monty Brown

From April 14, 2004 and this is under hardcore rules. For you old guys, Brown is basically an intelligent Ahmed Johnson but about 10 years older. Sabu tries to jump Brown but gets sent into the corner with ease and pummeled like he stole something. Brown sends him into the ropes but gets caught in a springboard tornado DDT for two. A quick arm tie neckbreaker gives Brown control again but Sabu comes right back with a springboard middle rope huricanrana for another near fall.

It’s already chair time with Sabu pelting it at Brown’s head and staying there in a great visual. A stiff right hand sets up an overhead double underhook suplex from Monty but he takes too long going to the middle rope. Brown comes back again with hard right hands to the face and ribs. He wasn’t all that well rounded at this point if you didn’t notice. The Pounce (basically a hard shoulder block/spear) sends Sabu flying through the ropes and out to the floor.

That’s fine with him as he’s able to pull out a table, only to have Brown punch him in the face yet again. Sabu rams him face first into the table and hits a springboard dive to take Monty down. Another chair is pelted at Brown’s head for two (remember falls count anywhere) but he easily whips Sabu into the crowd. Brown hits a series of backbreakers across his knee before throwing Sabu into a pile of chairs.

A third chair is pelted at Monty’s head and Sabu drags a table out from behind the stands. They head into the locker room but Sabu comes flying back out. Abyss walks through the door before powerbombing Sabu through the table. Brown comes out of the locker room and squares off with Abyss but some dark haired chick comes out to calm Abyss down and take him away. A quick Pounds ends Sabu.

Rating: D+. This was just there to get a hardcore match on the set. Brown was a guy that seemed to have a ton of potential and would have been great as an over the top Scott Steiner style character. He never got pushed to the top though and I can see why that never happened. Sabu was his usual self here.

Back to Jeff Jarrett who talks about feuding with a ton of people and thinks the work came out well. I can’t say I disagree, but Jarrett did have the title more than he should have.

NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett

From April 21, 2004. Jarrett is defending inside a cage and AJ is a surprise opponent, even though the DVD graphic shows that it’s AJ. Jarrett thinks it’s going to be Raven but Director of Authority Vince Russo runs through other challengers for about five minutes before announcing Styles, sending West and Tenay into their usual frenzy. Pin/submission only here. Feeling out process to start with AJ outworking Jeff on the mat to frustrate the champion. A shoulder block gets AJ nowhere so he chops the skin off Jeff’s chest.

They trade armdrags and chops until Jeff jacks AJ’s jaw to take over. Styles avoids being rammed into the cage and drops down into a loud dropkick. The running knee drop gets two but Jeff comes back with some nice right hands. AJ nips up into a hurricanrana and gets two off a powerslam. They’re only in second or so gear at this point.

Styles gets two off a delayed vertical suplex but Jeff comes back by ramming AJ into the steel twice in a row. Rolling belly to back suplexes get another near fall for the champion and he stops an AJ comeback by avoiding a missile dropkick. It’s time to go after the leg but AJ counters the Figure Four into a small package for two. Instead it’s a Sharpshooter from the champ but AJ is quickly in the ropes. Jeff doesn’t let go of the hold and AJ counters into a Sharpshooter of his own, but Earl Hebner is nowhere in sight so we keep going.

The moonsault out of the corner into the reverse DDT gets two for AJ but the referee gets his eye poked. Powder in AJ’s eyes sets up a backslide for two but AJ comes back with blind kicks. The referee checks on AJ’s eyes but Jeff pulls out a chain and lays out Styles for two. Why Jeff has to hide these things in a cage is beyond me but the match has been good so I won’t complain. Jarrett has his Styles Clash countered and the real version gets two.

AJ goes up to the top of the cage but Jeff sends the referee into the wall to knock AJ down a bit. A flying shot into the cage knocks AJ to the floor (pin/submission only remember) but the referees get him back in. Jeff uses the opening to get a guitar but Vince Russo comes out for a distraction. AJ kicks the guitar to pieces and rolls Jarrett up for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This continues the old theory of talented guys can have good matches no matter what rules they’re fighting under. To go back to what Jarrett was talking about, this is the kind of thing that you need veterans for in fledgling companies. Seeing AJ vs. a bunch of other guys fans have never heard of means nothing, but seeing AJ beat former WCW World Champion Jeff Jarrett for the title makes the fans think something of AJ.

Raven is livid.

On to some unique stuff from TNA: the six sided ring (unique for America at least). The theory seems to be that the number of sides doesn’t matter as long as the action is good. I can go with that idea.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Frankie Kazarian

From June 9, 2004 with Kaz defending. This is one of the first matches in the six sided ring which debuted six days earlier on the first episode of a show called Impact. It’s strange to see Kaz in Antonio Banderas form nowadays. Feeling out process to start with AJ taking the champion down into a front facelock. Kaz counters into an armbar as the fans tell him that he still sucks. An armdrag gets AJ free and they stare each other down again. Styles grabs the arm for a wristlock but Kaz gets in a shot to the jaw to escape.

Another armdrag sends Kaz out to the floor but he comes back with a wristlock of his own. AJ starts firing off some kicks to the thigh before peppering Kaz with forearms. Kaz sends him into the ropes but AJ drops down to set up the dropkick but the champion wisely heads outside. Back in and Kaz has to escape a Styles Clash attempt so now AJ hits the dropkick and a knee drop for two. Kaz gets sent out to the floor again and the frustration sets in for the champion.

Things start to pick up with AJ throwing Kaz back inside but getting caught by a slingshot DDT onto the apron. Back inside and Kaz suplexes Styles down and pounds away with right hands to the head. AJ tries a sunset flip but Kaz rolls through into a nice spinning neckbreaker for two. An ax handle to the back has AJ in trouble but he comes back with a running forearm in the corner but only hits turnbuckle on the second attempt. Kaz scores with a slingshot dropkick in the corner to knock the wind out of AJ after the miss knocked the senses out of him.

We hit a chinlock for a bit before going outside again with AJ being sent ribs first into the apron. Back in and Kaz snaps AJ’s throat over the top rope but misses his slingshot splash. This has been very good back and forth stuff so far which doesn’t leave me much to talk about. Both guys go to the corner and AJ superplexes Kaz down to the floor for a sick sounding thud.

Both guys are slow to get up and back inside but it’s Styles getting all fired up for forearms to the head. Kaz loads up a spinning downward spiral but AJ spins out and nails him with the Pele. The Styles Clash is countered with a kick to the head into a rollup for two and a kind of jumping superkick gets a very close two. Kaz puts him on the top rope but has to escape a middle rope Styles Clash. Instead it’s Kaz with the downward spiral (his finisher) for another near fall.

Kaz loads up a Clash (popular idea against AJ) but AJ gets free and takes the champion down with a discus lariat. Styles goes up again but another jumping superkick puts him down. AJ shoves him down and TOTALLY misses the Spiral Tap but covers anyway. Since there was literally no contact Kaz kicks out at two but the referee counts the pin anyway. The announcers are as confused as I was but we have a new champion.

Rating: B+. This was REALLY good stuff until the ending screwed things up. I mean there were literally nine inches of mat between AJ and Kaz on that Spiral Tap attempt but the pin counted anyway. Still though, I can easily accept nineteen minutes of awesome in exchange for thirty seconds of horrible.

We talk about the roster strength going into the TV deal on Fox Sport Net. The focus here is Jeff Hardy.

Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

From July 28, 2004 for the #1 contendership, I believe for the first Victory Road PPV. Feeling out process to start with Brown easily shoving Hardy across the ring. Jeff comes back with a few standing switches and a leg trip to send Brown to the floor. Hardy does some Hogan-esque poses to tick Brown off. Back inside and Hardy hits the legdrop between the legs followed by the seated dropkick for two.

Brown is tired of this selling thing and starts choking and stomping on Jeff to take over. Three straight belly to back suplexes put Hardy down and the awesome selling begins by Jeff. Brown cranks on the arm a bit after working on the ribs for the last three minutes. Off to an STF which is a little bit better but Hardy makes it to the rope. Back up and Hardy has to hurricanrana out of a powerbomb before getting two off a clothesline.

Hardy runs the ropes but gets caught in a the Alpha Bomb (body slam position but Brown swings him up into a powerbomb) for two. Brown calls for the Pounce but Hardy counters into the most telegraphed Twist of Fate I can ever remember. He loads up the Swanton but Jeff Jarrett pulls Brown away. Monty doesn’t want it that way though and yells at Jarrett. Back inside and Monty misses the Pounce, allowing Hardy to get a rollup for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but the lack of psychology on Brown’s part got on my nerves. The ending a showdown in the future but I don’t think it was for Victory Road. Why Hardy never won the title at this point was beyond me but that’s another story for later. Brown continues to have a great look but nothing to back it up with for the most part.

AJ talks about how the X-Division wrestlers will do stupid stuff to give the fans their money’s worth. Sabin and Shelley think about the same way.

AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash

From August 18, 2004 and this is a street fight. Kash smacks AJ in the face to start but gets thrown to the floor, setting up a big flip dive from Styles. AJ sends him into the barricade and kicks at the ribs before heading inside so Kash can beg for mercy. The breather lets Kash score with a jawbreaker and the fight heads back to the floor. Some chair shots put AJ down and Kid talks trash.

AJ slides under the guardrail and launches himself at Kash before throwing him into the crowd. A chair shot to the back sets up a backbreaker on the bleachers but Kash comes back with something resembling a DDT to get a breather. They head over to an opening next to the bleachers where a table just happens to be waiting. Kash goes into the scaffolding but AJ follows him as the camera has troubles keeping up.

They slug each other back and forth in front of a group of fans before Kash tries to throw AJ over the scaffolding. AJ hangs on but Kash follows him down before both guys fall about eight feet through the table onto the concrete. After some laying around they get back up for a trashcan shot to AJ’s back.

AJ headbutts Kash through the crowd and throws him into a wall. Back to the ring now where Kash escapes the Styles Clash and gets two off a standing hurricanrana. AJ comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex for two but his neckbreaker is countered into a suplex to give Kash his own near fall. Kash’s goon Dallas shows up to interfere but accidentally sends Kash into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: B-. This felt like a better version of an ECW brawl but it doesn’t make the match great. Kash is a guy that has never done anything for me other than the time he threatened to stab various people. The idea was to show physicality in the X-Division which worked, but it kind of takes away the aspect that made the division special.

We finally talk about the move to Orlando as the Asylum Era comes to an end. Mr. Anderson pops up above five hours into this thing to talk about hearing horror stories from when WCW taped at Universal Studios.

NWA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

From September 18, 2004 with Jarrett defending. Hardy jumps Jarrett before the big match intros but referees hold them back so JB can do his thing. JB introduces championship committee member Larry Zbyszko but apparently Jarrett is a Sammartino fan as he goes after Hardy again. Hardy is introduced and runs Jarrett out of the ring again but JB WILL NOT BE DENIED. He gets the entrances done as security is holding a busted Jarrett down on the floor.

Security lets them go and the bell rings. It’s a brawl to start until Hardy armdrags Jarrett down. Monty Brown is watching from the stage. The champion goes after the knee but Hardy kicks him into the buckle to escape. Jarrett crotches him on top but his Stroke is countered into a middle rope bulldog for two. Jarrett bails to the floor so Hardy drops a top rope ax handle to the back of the head.

The champ gets backdropped into the crowd and Hardy follows him out with a Whisper in the Wind. Jarrett is able to get in a chair shot to take over as Abyss is also watching from the stage. Hardy blocks being thrown off the balcony because it would, you know, kill him so Jarrett hits him with a chair and takes him back to ringside instead. The referee went down somewhere in there so the Jeffs are all alone in the ring. Hardy hits the Swanton for two as the referee was late getting back in.

Now the Figure Four goes on and Hardy is in big trouble. Raven is watching as well as Hardy turns the hold over. Hardy comes back with a leg lock (Sharpshooter without his legs intertwining with Jarrett’s) but the champion makes the ropes and bails to the floor. Dusty Rhodes beats up Jarrett due to reasons not mentioned, drawing out Director of Authority Vince Russo. Hardy hits a bad looking downward spiral but misses the Swanton. One guitar shot later and Jarrett keeps the belt.

Rating: C. This was another garbage brawl that belonged in 2000 WWF more than here. The ending was the same stuff we sat through with Jarrett for years with Dusty and Russo taking up more screen time. The match was nothing great but these two never did have the best chemistry together.

One last thank you to the Asylum fans wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. For a five and a half hour DVD, this was actually really solid stuff. There are some very good matches on here with the cage and ladder matches standing out above the rest. That being said, there’s at least an hour that could have been cut out of here without anything being missed. You could pretty easily drop the D’Lo/AJ vs. XXX match, the Dusty vs. Jarrett match and Raven vs. Shane and tighten this up a lot.

Overall this is more accurately titled “Remember When Jeff Jarrett Wouldn’t Go Away And AJ Styles Ruled The World”, which isn’t a bad thing as those were some good times for the top of the company. That being said, the lack of Ron Killings is pretty bizarre as he held the title for about four months combined. Other than that and a low level of Jerry Lynn, they covered the top of the card around this time quite well.

This set is available for $20 on TNAwrestling.com and is worth the cost if you’re a fan of what TNA used to be. I’ve even seen it on sale for five bucks, meaning you’re getting wrestling at a buck an hour and you can’t top that. Good set to start this off with but the idea of going nine hours is rather terrifying.

 

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Final Resolution 2009
Date: December 20, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

This is the final PPV before we got to the Hogan Era and the difference is remarkable. AJ is world champion here and the main event is him vs. Christopher Daniels for the title. On the undercard is Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe in a 2/3 falls match which should be awesome. Notice how the emphasis is on the older guys mixing with the younger guys in order to make the younger ones look good. That’s called giving someone a rub which you don’t see enough of anymore. Let’s get to it.

Also expect the TNA shows to have a lot of 2009 coming as I found every show from that year which is a big plus since it’s hard finding TNA PPVs that are complete.

We open up here with a Christmas theme set in front of the wrestlers which then turns to fire and clips of the aforementioned main feuds. This looks like the opening video to a TV show rather than a PPV.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Motor City Machine Guns

 

The idea here is that the Brits are just there and the Guns are tired of being overlooked which is a very true statement. At least we get the Motorcity song. The Invasion is part of World Elite and is comprised of Magnus and Doug Williams. The ropes are red and green here which is either cool or stupid. Not sure which.

Sabin vs. Williams to start us off here. Williams takes him down with a wristlock and they roll around on the mat a bit. Off to Shelley and it’s a bit more of the same. Magnus comes in and the fourth guy works on a wristlock. Shelley tries to jump at Magnus and it just fails. Right back to the arm because we’ve gone a full 8 seconds without doing that. The Guns both come in and kick away to take both members of the Brits now.

Stereo double dives from the middle rope on the inside to the Brits on the floor in an awesome spot. Back in now with Magnus taking Shelley down and it’s off to Williams. Technically this has been very sound so far. Williams gets an inverted Gory Special to drive Shelley into the top turnbuckle in a cool spot. Shelley manages to get a top rope cross body for two.

Back off to Magnus now for some double teaming. Shelley and Williams (these Brits tag too much) have a nice technical piece and Magnus takes down Sabin to prevent the tag. Full nelson by Magnus gets him nowhere. A Vader Bomb by Magnus eats knees and it’s off to Sabin vs. Williams now for a nice change of pace. Tornado DDT by Sabin gets two.

Back off to Shelley and Magnus and Shelly hits a top rope kick to the chest (think RVD) for two. The tagging thing is more or less being more forgotten by the second here. Sabin dives through Shelley’s legs to take Williams into the guard rail. Sliced Bread #2 to Magnus gets a close two. Double stomp by Shelley misses and he runs into an exploder suplex by Williams.

Everyone in now as the Guns are taken down one by one. That would be all as far as numbers go as there are only two Guns. Shelley and Magnus slug it out in the ring as we’re back to a standard tag format now. Back off to Sabin again and the Guns hit a double team downward spiral/missile dropkick for two. Rolling Chaos doesn’t work as Sabin saves Alex by hitting a Cutter on Williams. The unnamed Skull and Bones gets two on Magnus. Double team Sliced Bread doesn’t work and Sabin gets caught in a sweet powerbomb/European Uppercut off the top combination to end this.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as it was fast paced and the fans were into it. For the life of me though I don’t get why they waited for so long to put the belts on the Guns as they got them due to Hall being released for being Scott Hall. This was a good match and I was getting into it by the end, which says a lot given that I knew who was winning.

We talk about Hogan and we all know how well that’s gone for the company. Jeff Hardy appeared there too. Oh dear.

We run down the remaining card in case someone decided to randomly buy a PPV 20 minutes in. Oh it’s just the main event. Ok then.

Knockout Title: Tara vs. ODB

 

These two feuded forever around this time and I think they’re both faces. I get to hear the Broken song so I’m a bit happier. She still has that stupid spider though which is rather stupid and I never got the point of it. Dang Tara is hot. Actually ODB might be a heel here. She’s acting a bit cowardly. I never got the appeal to her in the slightest. And never mind as she jumps Tara when the referee is taking the belt away.

Tara grabs a quick Tarantula and adds a leg drop for two. They do some sloppy stuff and ODB gets a knee to the ribs. BAD shoulder breaker by ODB gets two. Bronco Buster doesn’t work as instead it’s a kick to Tara’s shapely chest. Almost all ODB to this point other than a quick attack at the beginning. Fall away slam and a nip up by ODB. After a LONG delay she gets two.

Tara grabs the sloppiest jackknife cover of all time for two. There’s no Impact on Thursday due to it being Christmas Eve. There’s a New Year’s Eve show with a Knockouts Tournament apparently. Hey TNA is having a tournament. I’m SHOCKED. ODB tries….something and falls on her face. Tara slugs away and gets a flapjack for no cover. Standing moonsault gets two. No shake first which makes me sad. ODB puts her in a fireman’s carry but Tara reverses into something like a sunset flip/rollup for the pin. Wow this was bad.

Rating: D-. The ONLY thing keeping this from failing is Tara looking great. I mean this was terrible. They were sloppy here and ODB constantly rubbing herself doesn’t help anything. Weak match and I couldn’t wait to get this done. Terrible match and a great example of why the Knockouts Division was dying around this time.

Tara is happy to have won.

We get a video on Hogan coming to Impact on 1/4. That 1.5 rating they got is the highest they’ve gotten as of this writing, in March of 2011.

Feast or Fired

 

Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, Cody Deaner, Robert Roode, James Storm, Eric Young, Homicide, Kiyoshi, Sheik Abdul Bashir, Rob Terry, Kevin Nash, Samoa Joe

Everyone from Young to Nash is in World Elite, making up half of the lineup here. Simple concept: four cases, one has a world title shot, one has an X Title shot, one has a tag title shot, one has a pink slip. You pull down a case, that’s what you get. Like I said, simple concept. This is of course almost impossible to call as everyone is doing random stuff and it’s a big fight so far.

Lethal goes up early, only to be stopped by Kiyoshi. The idea here is that World Elite doesn’t want Beer Money or Lethal Consequences to get a case so that the Brits don’t have to fight them. Smart actually. Joe hammers on Young as we hear about how experienced Homicide is in these. Deaner almost gets up but can’t quite get there. Apparently all of World Elite is banned from going up. Stupid but whatever.

Deaner goes up again but gets pulled down. This is a total mess with two people in the ring and the other nine being outside. Bashir goes up for the third time but Deaner stops him. They have been the only two in the ring forever now. Sheik rakes the eyes but he falls off and it’s Lethal Consequences beating on various people.

Lethal plays defense while Creed goes up but he gets knocked off by Bashir. Deaner challenges him for it and it falls off. They fight for it on the floor and Bashir kicks him in the knee and clocks him with it to get case #2. In the ring Rob Terry gets #4. Young gets all ticked off at him as does the rest of the World Elite team. Beer Money is like screw this and jumps them.

Beer Money double teams Nash and then Young. I can understand them not going up there as Nash was on his feet so that makes sense. BEER MONEY runs into Kiyoshi who doesn’t last long. All Beer Money here as they beat the tar out of everyone. Roode goes up but it’s Nash with the save. He goes up and easily gets case #1. The people that get cases leave by the way.

Joe gets in the ring for the first time as the fans are clearly behind him. He beats on Lethal Consequences because he can but he doesn’t have as much luck with Beer Money. Finishers all around now with Homicide hitting a top rope cutter to take down Roode. Deaner is up now but Joe is like boy what the heck do you think you’re doing and kicks him to the floor and grabs #3 to end this.

Rating: D. No idea what to really think about these matches but this wasn’t very interesting. It’s like a battle royal but it was messed up beyond belief. Deaner being in there way too much always hurts things. Nothing any good here but then again these matches never were worth anything. Boring but it sets up future storylines so I guess it has that going for it.

Angle and AJ are in the back and Angle says that Wolfe is one of the best he’s ever faced. He implies he’s coming after AJ once he beats Wolfe. AJ says cool but first he has to get by Daniels. Christy was there also and good grief she was gorgeous.

Time to unveil the cases. Remember it’s World Title, Tag Titles, X Title and being fired. First up is Nash and he gets a tag title shot. He and Hall would use that in like May to give the Band the tag titles after not mentioning he had the case for four and a half months.

Joe goes second and gets a World Title shot which he would cash in at Against All Odds and lose.

We do the last two at the same time. It’s Rob Terry and Sheik Abdul Bashir if you’ve lost track. Terry gets the X Division Title shot which he gave to Douglas Williams who won the title. Bashir is fired and then actually left the company. He gets the future endeavored line and the Goodbye Song as parting gifts.

Taz insists this isn’t part of the show. Yeah the last 17 minutes for that stuff wasn’t part of the show at all.

Matt Morgan/Hernandez/D’Angelo Dinero/Suicide vs. Rhyno/Team 3D/Jesse Neal

 

This is an elimination match so think Survivor Series. Actually for the first five minutes it’s 1 on 4 and that would be Hernandez vs. the other four. Why is that the case? Who freaking cares? Apparently not TNA as they barely mention it. Leave it to TNA to be able to screw this up. If Hernandez loses in this five minutes it’s over but it’s just an elimination for the other guys. Leave it to TNA to manage to screw up an elimination tag with overly complicated rules.

Neal is a total jobber at this point and just a student of Team 3D. Hernandez is coming off a super push where he was almost world champion but was then pushed down into a tag team with Morgan just because. Ray beats on Hernandez a bit and it’s off to Rhyno. Why are these teams feuding? Not necessary information. Gore hits for two so we know Rhyno won’t last long. Another Gore misses and a rollup makes it 1-3 which is soon to be 4-3.

Neal is sent out to get a chair but the heels just stand around while the rest of the time runs out and here are the other three. Morgan is also in the middle of a big push which would just die when Hogan got there. Hernandez dives out on everyone at once and we get down to regular stuff. Suicide (Kazarian) hammers on Neal to start. They have this whole thing backwards at this point as the faces are dominating, which is the total wrong idea in matches like these.

Not being very intelligent, Neal picks up the chair and pops Suicide with it. Hernandez, not being very intelligent either, picks up the same chair and pops Neal with it. So it’s a DQ if you hit someone no longer in the match? 3D takes out Suicide so it’s 2-2 now….wait why is Neal still out there? He cracked Suicide with the chair and the referee clearly saw it. Dang man he reacted to it. Why does this surprise me? What the heck ever man.

It’s Dinero vs. Ray at the moment and now Neal leaves as it’s a DQ for him. How do you make a simple DQ complicated? Pope gets a top rope clothesline for two. 3D takes Pope out and it’s 2-1 finally. Team 3D hammers him together for awhile which the referee doesn’t seem to have much of an issue with. Morgan hits a double clothesline and splashes them both in the corner.

D-Von takes the corner elbows but can still save Ray from a chokeslam. Oh and the Dudleys are the IWGP Tag Champions here. Not that it means anything to the vast majority of wrestling fans but TNA insisted it mattered so there we are. There hasn’t been any time during the 2-1 part where a Dudley has been on the apron.

Big boot takes out D-Von, even though the hand didn’t hit the mat the third time and they wait 15 seconds to announce his elimination. So it’s Ray vs. Morgan now which would be a win for Ray at the moment somehow. Ray counters the Hellevator into a DDT and it’s chair time. Carbon Footprint into the chair ends it.

Rating: D. What the heck were they thinking here? Was there any need for the five minute thing or for this to take up sixteen minutes or air time? I mean dude, what the heck? It wasn’t even anything special with the two DQs and the total lack of drama as the biggest star on the other team was who, Ray? This was boring and another example ot TNA managing to take something simple and overcomplicate it.

We recap Abyss vs. Dr. Stevie which incorporated Foley on Abyss’ side and Raven on Richards’ side. Richards lit Abyss’ leg on fire which I don’t remember at all.

Oh wait that’s not next. This is next.

We recap Lashley vs. Steiner. I’m not kidding here. They just flat out said they aired the wrong video and this is the next match. Steiner thinks Lashley’s wife loves her or something.

Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Lashley

 

Last man standing here as Steiner had hit him with a pipe last month in their match to end Lashley’s unbeaten streak. Kristal, the wife, is thrown out before the match. Steiner goes after her and Bobby chases. Bobby catches Steiner and does nothing. Steiner drills him and we start on the floor. Back in the ring now and it’s a T-Bone by Bobby to take over.

Dragon sleeper goes on as Steiner is in trouble. Since Lashley lets Steiner go, that isn’t enough to end it. Scott’s leg may be messed up here. Out to the floor and Lashley hits him with a chair. Steiner hits him with a pipe and down goes Lashley. Naturally a lead pipe to the head by a huge muscle man like Steiner isn’t enough to keep him down though as he’s up at 7.

Lashley goes into the post and then the steps. Back in the ring and Steiner gets a downward spiral from the top rope (Lashley’s feet were on it and Steiner was on the mat) for 9. Belly to belly suplex off the top (with Bobby landing on his head and Taz making a Cole Vintage joke) gets about 8. Steiner jumps into a suplex of his own Powerslam for Bobby gets two and a Frankensteiner gets the same. The pipe is retrieved but Kristal comes down to steal it. A spear and a pipe shot from Steiner end this.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all as Steiner was pretty uninteresting at this point to say the least. Lashley would be gone in a month as he became a full time MMA guy and didn’t exactly do that well at it. Boring match here that was more or less just there. At least this ended the feud though. The Lashleys would turn heel on January 4^th to no one really caring.

We talk about the upcoming tag match for a bit before it happens.

Raven/Dr. Stevie vs. Mick Foley/Abyss

 

Is there a reason why we’re supposed to believe that he’s a doctor? This is now No DQ which makes things a bit better I guess. Yep Foley makes it anything goes. Total mess to start where you can barely keep track of what’s going on. Abyss beats on Stevie near the announce booth and pulls out a table. The fan on Tenay’s desk amuses me for some reason.

Abyss wanted to powerbomb Stevie off the stage through a table but Raven makes the save with a kendo stick. It’s broken over Abyss’ back and jabbed into various parts of his body. Foley is nowhere to be seen. Back at ringside Raven rams into Abyss and bites him. This isn’t much to look at. Abyss’ leather pants have burn holes in them. Raven pulls out some gasoline but Foley pops up with a shopping cart full of weapons.

A barbed wire bat is rammed into both heels stomachs and a Piledriver gets two on Raven. He and Stevie are stacked on top of each other and Abyss sits on them. Here comes Socko but Raven throws powder into Foley’s eyes. Abyss saves his partner and puts Stevie in the Shock Treatment while at the same time dropping a leg on Raven in a cool spot. Abyss has his own sock. I give up.

Stereo Mandible Claws but Raven gets a low blow and the DDT for two on Abyss. Foley makes more or less a lasso of barbed wire and wraps it around Richards. He sets Richards on a table and dives off the stage onto the table with an elbow. Daffney comes out and hits Abyss with a chair but Raven saves. Black Hole Slam ends Raven and it’s over.

Rating: C-. If you’ve seen one of these hardcore matches you’ve seen them all. There’s nothing special about them at all for the most part as they’re all the same thing after awhile. The big ending spot if Foley diving off and it’s treated like any other elbow drop in a match instead of a huge spot like it was. Not bad though.

Joe says he’d win and he did. He isn’t sure when he’s cashing in but it could be tonight. This is to fill in time to clear the ring.

We recap Wolfe vs. Angle which is the end of the feud. Wolfe is brand new and keeps beating on Angle but can’t quite beat him by pin or submission (he won by a referee stoppage in a street fight). This is 2/3 falls with the first being pin only, second being submission only and third is in a cage which is escape only.

Taz and Tenay talk for too long. Oh it’s for the cage. I see. So all three falls are in the cage? That’s kind of cool actually.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle

 

Angle is still in a Mafia shirt even though that’s long since dead. They have a ton of time here so they start slowly with ground work. Angle grabs the leg and down to the mat we go. Off to a cobra clutch by Wolfe. Lots of technical stuff here which is pretty solid of course given who is in there. Hammerlock by Angle and we look at some guy and his kid in the crowd for no apparent reason at all.

Multiple covers get nothing for Wolfe. A knee drop misses for Wolfe so Angle goes after the leg. Headlock takedown and it’s Wolfe in control. They’re in first gear here or maybe a mild second one but it’s still entertaining. The dueling chants have already started. Angle fights up and gets a buckle bomb for our first big high impact move. We’ve been at this almost 8 minutes now so you can tell this is going slowly.

Wolfe in control again with Wolfe working on the arm a bit more. Modified cobra clutch goes on for a bit but Kurt fights back. Overhead belly to belly but Kurt can’t get the Angle Slam. A single arm DDT hits but Wolfe misses a big clothesline misses. Rolling Germans go on in a set of about five or six.

Angle goes up and gets caught in the Tower of London for two. It’s a Diamond Cutter off the top if you’re wondering. The lariat misses again and it’s another attempt at the Tower of London but Kurt escapes and the Angle Slam gets two. Angle tries the moonsault and, say it with me, it misses by a mile. Clothesline hits this time and the Tower of London gets the first fall for Wolfe. Really should have been after the clothesline.

Wolfe goes straight for the arm and Kurt is in big trouble already. The crank that Wolfe has it on there is INSANE. Kurt rolls out of it though and it’s time for a figure four out of nowhere. The rope is grabbed and we’re back to the arm again. Wolfe puts on a ton of arm holds and they’re all at least somewhat different. Kurt reverses one of them into the ankle lock and Wolfe is in trouble.

Wolfe reverses into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface. That gets rolled through and it’s back to the ankle lock. This is a technical masterpiece so far. Angle reverses ANOTHER arm hold into the ankle lock which Wolfe reverses into an ankle lock of his own. Angle grabs something like a triangle choke which gets reversed into an arm lock again. Triangle choke goes on but Kurt runs through it into an ankle lock again and it’s the grapevine added that ends fall 2.

Ok so it’s now escape to win it. Oh that guy they showed earlier is Jason Williams of the Orlando Magic. WWE is in town tonight so they’re making fun of it somehow. Angle puts Wolfe down and goes up so they fight on the ropes a bit. Wolfe rams the arm into the cage which is rather smart and basic. Wolfe goes up so Kurt does the same thing to Wolfe’s leg. I like that as it’s nice storytelling.

Wolfe knocks him off the ropes so Kurt pops up and throws him off in the running suplex. Desmond is busted BAD. Kurt goes up but Wolfe gets a boot up which might have hit Angle’s bad arm. It was Wolfe’s bad leg though so everyone is down. Desmond calls for the door to be open but Kurt makes the save again. Wolfe taps forever but Kurt won’t let go. Desmond passes out and Kurt climbs out. Wolfe almost made it but couldn’t quite do it.

Rating: A. Great match here with some incredible back and forth stuff in the submission round. I don’t tend to like matches like these but this was very fun to see. Wolfe being left laying like that at the end was great but I would have had him stay there until Kurt had won. Either way, great match and the whole thing worked incredibly well. Brutal match with a clear winner, which is the point of matches like these.

Mick Foley talks about Hogan for no apparent reason.

We recap Daniels vs. AJ. There was a masked man running around jumping AJ and he thought it was Daniels. There was a three way match at Turning Point where AJ pinned Joe, stealing Daniels’ pin. The idea here is that Daniels is equal to AJ but Daniels has never gotten anything out of AJ’s friendship. In short, it’s Anderson vs. Flair.

TNA World Title: Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

 

Anyone that has read my reviews knows I don’t like Daniels at all for the most part. This is AJ before they turned him into the Flair tribute character, therefore making him awesome. The challenger is called Daniels here but I need more names to swap in and out so there you go. They stare each other down for awhile and then lock up with no one really having control to start.

Daniels grabs the arm when AJ is talking to the referee and takes over. AJ tries a nip up to escape but Daniels drops down onto him in a nice counter. Daniels stays on the arm for a good while but tries a dropkick which AJ holds the ropes for. We speed things up now and AJ pops off an awesome dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor with AJ doing his flips and dives to take down Daniels. Back in and a hilo sets up a discus clothesline for no cover as it’s all AJ at the moment. Off to the chinlock and the fans chant for Angle. Or is it Angel? Daniels goes with those palm strikes and a monkey flip to send AJ flying. Clothesline sends AJ to the floor but his foot gets caught on the rope and he lands on his head.

On the floor and Daniels puts AJ in a chair. He picks up another chair and tries to swing it. The referee stops him but when he’s not looking Daniels hits a release Rock Bottom onto the chair AJ was sitting in. Taz asks a good question: “Does the referee think the chair just exploded?” Back in the ring a side slam gets two as Daniels keeps up the assault on the back of AJ.

A headscissors out of nowhere puts Daniels down but it’s only for a second. Daniels sits AJ up on the ropes facing the crowd. He picks AJ up for something like a belly to back suplex but rotates him a bit to drop AJ back first on the turnbuckle in a sick bump for two. Moonsault “hits” and Daniels locks on a crossface minus the arm trap. Doesn’t go on long but it looked good. I don’t get why AJ couldn’t just put his arms down to break the pressure but what do I know?

Lionsault minus the running start misses and AJ hits a suplex to put both guys down for a bit. AJ goes to the apron so Daniels tries a rana to the floor. AJ just drops him down in a powerbomb which sounded awesome. He hammers on Daniels and we go back into the ring. AJ hits an FU into a backbreaker and the backflip into the reverse DDT for two.

Daniels is able to get something like a backdrop onto the top rope to crotch AJ. From there Daniels steps onto the middle rope and suplexes AJ back in with a unique move. With AJ sitting on the top rope Daniels hits a HUGE palm strike to the head. A Frankensteiner and a Shining Wizard gets two. The fans say someone got served in this youth language that I’m not familiar with. Stupid young whippersnappers. BIG knot on Daniels’ head here.

They fight over a suplex but AJ settles for a big old brainbuster instead. There’s the springboard forearm that I always love for a long two. Styles Clash is blocked so it’s a Pele instead. Another attempt is blocked by a palm strike. Another release Rock Bottom by Daniels sets up the Best Moonsault Ever for a long two.

Daniels hammers away as I think that knot on his head could take over a small country at this point. AJ sends him chest first into the corner and rolls through into the Styles Clash for two. Daniels gets up and puts AJ on the second turnbuckle on the inside (I had to channel Gorilla once or twice) but goes for a rana and is caught in the Clash from the middle rope to end it.

Rating: B+. Good match but it’s definitely a step or two behind the previous one. Daniels was never a real threat here as eventually he has to win something to be classified as a real threat. This was when AJ had a lot of meaningless matches as champion, but they were good enough that you could overlook that. Either way, this was good but not as good as the match before it, which hurts it a bit.

Overall Rating: B-. This show suffers from what came after it. In 15 days, Hogan showed up and all of this was tossed out the window. They were clearly just holding down the fort at this point and while some of it was good, parts of it are utterly forgettable or just weak. After the opener, everything until Angle vs. Wolfe is AWFUL. It’s definitely not the worst TNA show and it’s actually good, but as far as importance goes, this means nothing at all due to Hogan and Bischoff hitting the reset button. Good show, but the definition of not important.

 

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Bound For Glory 2010
Date: October 10, 2010
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

So here it is. This is the show that they have spent MONTHS building to. This is their Wrestlemania and by far their biggest show of the year. We get a new champion tonight and find out who THEY are. Even I’m excited and I’ve made no secret that I’m a big critic of this company. Tonight is the final match for Abyss apparently which I don’t buy at all. Let’s get to it.

Main event is no time limit, no count out and no DQ. That makes me nervous.

There’s and entrance ramp as well as three video screens. The production values are rather solid here, especially by TNA standards.

Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

Good choice for an opener. Shelley and Max (does it matter?) start us off. Naturally it’s insanely fast paced to start us off. The Guns get all tricky and destroy Max in the corner. A big elbow Poetry in Motion move gets two on Max. The heels are getting dominated here for the most part as we hear a lot about Shelley’s neck.

Double DDT out of the corner to Shelly and he’s in big trouble. Shelley keeps fighting and manages to get out with a big double stomp off the top. Hot tag to Sabin as this isn’t bad at all so far. The Guns and everything else go completely insane and Sabin hits Punk’s springboard clothesline to Jeremy for a close two. Tenay is right that no one has tag wrestling like this.

The Guns are just straight up fun to watch. I’m not sold on making this the opener though as this is something that probably should have been used to fire up the crowd in case they get bored later on. Max gets two and is legit shocked that Sabin kicked out. They go for the DDT again but Shelley makes the save.

Elevated Sliced Bread is blocked and Jeremy takes out Sabin with a big dive. A Piledriver like move is broken up by Sabin at two. Very fast paced match naturally. This is too fast to call. We actually get a tag. Are you kidding me? They set for More Bang For Your Buck but a nice counter sets up a running German off the top by Sabin. Skull and Bones on Max ends this.

Rating: B. Very fast paced and fun match. Do I need to explain this one again? It’s an insanely fast paced tag match to open up a show. That’s PPV 101 but I worry that this might be the high point of the show. We get the awesome Motor City music twice though and the Guns keeping the belts is a good thing so I’m happy.

Tara and Madison go nuts on Christy about hair dye or something. Tara is grateful to Madison for life apparently.

We recap the Knockouts Title situation which I think you all know by now. It’s all about the Beautiful People and that’s about it. This again becomes all about them and nothing else. Keep in mind Mickie James is the referee here.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Skye vs. Tara

Mickie looks good. I could go without the hardcore country thing though. One fall to a finish here and tags are required. Angelina vs. Madison to start us off. Off to the regular Beautiful People now which is the only match left in that division I suppose. Madison comes in and gets in Mickie’s face but that goes nowhere.

This is another match that is going too fast to really keep track of. Tara vs. Velvet at the moment. How in the world did Hefner think Tara didn’t look good enough for Playboy? Octopus Hold from Velvet to Tara which blows my mind a million ways to Monday. The tagging thing is of course abandoned soon.

Widow’s Peak doesn’t go on as Angelina makes a save. And then she rolls up Velvet with some tights being pulled to give her the title. We get the BROKEN song so I’m very happy. Madison goes off on her and Mickie kicks her all around the ring. So it’s Tara vs. Mickie now? Ok then.

Rating: D+. Pretty much just a mess here and only a way to get the title on the show. This wasn’t much at all but you had five hot women and you get to add Mickie to the division now which is definitely not a bad thing at all as it was dying for some fresh blood. Nothing very good here but I’ve seen worse.

Eric Young babbles about some code. Yeah I don’t care either.

We recap the “feud”. Yeah I don’t care either. Let’s get this over with.

Eric Young/Orlando Jordan vs. Ink Inc

Eric has the TNA rule book while Orlando is in a white suit with a beekeeper mask. And now Eric has fake tattoos or something. I give up. Jordan and Neal start us off because someone has to. Let the gay jokes begin.

Taz recommends that Shannon avoid the crotch of Orlando. I give up. Total meh match here as it was boring on Impact and it’s boring here. This is really just an outlet for Taz to make gay jokes about Orlando which aren’t incredibly funny. Eric gets crotched on the top rope.

Orlando vs. Shannon at the moment. Eric is fooling with the rule book because it’s been a few seconds without “comedy.” We talk about the German broadcast team for no apparent reason. Eric starts cheating by pretending to tag in and Taz is just like “screw it’. Eric tags himself in to fight Orlando. We get a Midnight Rocker reference which makes Taz laugh. Eric causes Orlando to get caught by Shannon for the pin.

Rating: D. Just move on please. I hate comedy matches, especially when they lack comedy.

Jeff says he’s going to win with the Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb.

X–Division Title: Douglas Williams vs. Jay Lethal

This is the return match apparently from Impact a few weeks ago when Lethal won it in the first place. Non-British tights for Williams here. What would the Bulldog think? Fast paced start until Williams gets a hold on Lethal to take over. And so much for that. Tenay talks about the new tights because that’s interesting I guess?

Apparently his family crest is on it. No mention of Fourtune here which is kind of odd. Williams takes it to the mat and we stay there for awhile. Williams is getting back into the style of hating the X Division style that worked so well for him in the spring and early summer.

Lethal cranks up the speed to make things work a bit better. Taz likes suplexes and you can hear it in his voice. It changes when Williams uses a few of them. He even throws in some analysis of them for fun. Hey he sounds like an analyst. I thought this was 10/10 not 10/31.

Chaos Theory out of nowhere gets two. Dang I love that move. Williams gets all ticked off and takes him up top and sets for a rana. Lethal gets a SWEET counter where he rolls through it perfectly into a sunset flip for the pin to retain. He celebrates in the crowd which is always a nice touch.

Rating: C+. Nothing special here but the ending was rather good. This felt like a decent Impact match but it was totally tacked on here with no particular rhyme or reason. Dang I need to stop listening to Shinedown. This wasn’t bad but it was just kind of thrown on there to get the match on the card.

And while he’s in the crowd SHORE attacks him. Like the idiot that he is, he says he’s winning the title and taking it back to Jersey. You know, where Lethal is from.

We recap RVD vs. Abyss which is a bit early on the card I’d think for it. I can’t imagine this is where THEY are revealed. That’s just way too early for it I’d think but who knows? The idea here is RVD isn’t at 100% but he wants revenge no matter what.

Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball here which means anything goes. And remember this is his last match EVER! He brings Janice and Bob, which are the names of Dixie Carter’s parents in what I’d assume is a rib, and puts them on the announce table. Abyss says RVD is done and THEY are coming. And remember this is once a century. You know, like EVERY OTHER DATE.

RVD of course kicks the heck out of him to start to a HUGE RVD chant. Van Dam is in a t-shirt here for some reason. There’s a barbed wire table at ringside. Total dominance so far by Van Dam who is on fire. He gets taken down by an elbow of all things. Given the shirt I’d bet on RVD going into barbed wire.

Chokeslam is countered and of course Abyss eats barbed wire. This would be more effective if we hadn’t seen it just three days ago with bigger stars. And of course he’s up again just a few seconds later, dodging a splash that send RVD into the wire. Abyss busts out a regular table as we talk about THEY.

Trash can to the head of Van Dam as Abyss tries to make a barbed wire platform between the railing and the ring. Oh never mind it’s just a regular table. Abyss winds up on it and RVD hits Rolling Thunder onto it. Cool spot. Too many dead spots here though as we hit a spot and then stop to look for more stuff to use in the next one.

RVD sets up Coast to Coast but gets shoved off and RVD winds up in barbed wire. Sick looking bump. The match more or less stops as the referee is thinking about stopping it. Instead we throw him back into the ring and Abyss gets…nothing. Ok then. Instead we get the Hogan ear taunt.

Van Dam comes back and sends him into the barbed wire board in the corner. Now it’s Abyss in trouble. RVD goes for the Five Star but Abyss moves and RVD has a tummy ache. And now It’s time for Janice. Well of course it is. RVD counters though and gets a pair of shots with Janice to the gut of Abyss and the Five Star. Abyss is bleeding from the mouth.

Rating: B-. Fun hardcore match with everyone beating the tar out of each other. Ok so maybe saying everyone for two people is a stretch but you get the concept. This worked fine for what it was with lots of weapons being used and all that jazz. They’re dragging this angle out for all it’s worth and more though so points for that….I think. Fun match.

Abyss says here WE come. Oh great.

We recap the handicap match with the whole Deception thing. This is the other major angle and Hogan is VERY hurt keep in mind. Yeah I don’t buy it either.

Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe vs. D’Angelo Dinero/Kevin Nash/Sting

Joe vs. Pope start us off. Oh and Joe is fighting for Hulk’s honor despite having zero connection to him. Nothing special so far and we hit the floor. It more or less has broken down with Jarrett fighting Pope and the old guys vs. Joe. And so much for that as we get back to Nash vs. Joe.

The entrance ramp really does look good. Pretty basic match so far. Joe gets beaten on for a good while but FINALLY gets a shot in on Nash to get away. He goes for the tag and there goes Jarrett for your swerve. Nash says I told you and Joe is in trouble. Now it really is 3-1. Jackknife to Joe ends it.

Rating: D+. Just the match that no one cared about to build to the swerve. Pay no attention to the fact that we’ve been building up Sting vs. Jeff for months and now it’s all cool. I’ll allow him an explanation but dude, this was supposed to be the explanation, not more questions. Whatever man.

Anderson says he’ll win.

Here’s 3D for their major announcement. Yep they’re retiring, but they want one more match, and of course they want the Guns. They’re retiring either way. Nice. This is solid I think and it’s good that they’ll retire this way.

We recap Fourtune vs. EV 2.0. If there is ANY justice in the world, EV loses here. Naturally it’s more about Flair vs. Foley than anyone else.

Fourtune says exactly what you would expect them to say. Regular vest for AJ thank goodness.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.

EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.

The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the tar out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.

Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?

Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.

Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!

With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.

Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.

Big time Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.

Raven and Morgan beat the heck out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living heck out of me.

Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.

Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants.

Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ FREAKING STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.

Music video about the main event.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy has new music. Nothing all that special as again you can barely understand it. He’s called challenger #1. Who exactly is he challenging if no one has the title? Anderson is in gray tights which is odd. It’s 10:33 and we’re just starting. Think they’re cutting this close? No big match intros either which is weird also.

Angle is knocked to the floor and Anderson gets a neckbreaker on Hardy for two. Angle pops in and goes for Anderson’s knee. Big old belly to belly as it’s all Angle here. Then Hardy saves and it’s all Hardy. Little theme going on there. Angle Germans Hardy who Germans Anderson to take both of them over in a cool spot.

It gets two on Hardy as we keep going. 10:37 and no sign of THEY which scares the heck out of me. Hardy sends Angle up and over and might be hurt. I don’t buy it but whatever. Hardy goes over the top in a dive to take out everyone. Back in and Angle is ok, hooking a chinlock on Hardy after a cover gets two.

Running German to Hardy and he’s up seconds later. Ok then. Hey we went a full two hours and 40 minutes before we got a shot of Dixie. Angle is busted open a bit. Angle busts out some Germans on Anderson as Hardy is down. Hardy gets some of the same. Ankle Lock on the face painted one.

Anderson tries to save and winds up in the ankle lock. Angle locks the ankle lock on BOTH of them at once. That looks awesome. Naturally it doesn’t work but it looked cool while it was on. Anderson gets that rolling fireman’s carry slam from the middle rope on Angle so that Hardy can cover both for two.

10:45 now as this has somehow been going 12 minutes. Angle Slam gets two on Hardy. Top rope Angle Slam on Anderson but Hardy gets the cover for two. The fans think this is awesome and it’s not bad. Twist of Fate to Anderson and the Swanton hits. Angle saves into the ankle lock and Hardy is in trouble.

Jeff kicks off and sends Angle into a Mic Check for a VERY close two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets a lot of two counts. Angle is the only one left and hits the moonsault on Hardy for two again as Anderson is still down. Angle and Anderson go at it and block each others’ finishers.

And there goes the referee. Oh blast it. Everyone is down and here comes Eric with a chair. And here it comes. This is what TNA has spent the last 4 months building to. And what a shock: HULK IS HERE! Or at least his music is here. Yep there he is but on crutches. He needs help getting into the ring which I don’t buy.

Hulk looks ticked at Eric who throws the chair out and wipes his hands. Hardy stumbles to his feet on the floor and gets in. Both Bischoff and Hogan have crutches and Hogan gives Jeff his. Angle is up. Hardy pops Angle with the crutch and Hogan points at Jeff. Yes, it appears that Jeff Hardy, the most popular star in the world, is part of They. Twist of Fate to Anderson, and Hardy is world champion.

Rating: B. Ending aside obviously, this was a solid main event. It felt like a big match, but then again I would prefer a singles match for the title. That’s the traditionalist in me talking but if there is a match to end the biggest show of the year, only on very special occasions (this isn’t one of them) should it not be one on one for the world title.

Here comes Jeff Jarrett and Abyss. The fans throw trash in for no apparent reason. Hogan and Abyss hug, and THEY are revealed. Yes, it was Hogan and Bischoff with Hardy all along. RVD comes down and yells at Jeff and is of course laid out. Massive posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This one took me a very long time to reach as it’s now almost 330 Monday afternoon as I write this. This show, without a doubt, was not boring. The ending was a legit shock and I think lived up to most of the hype, but we’ll get to that later.

As for the rest of the card, there are two important things here. Number one, Lethal vs. Williams was the only standard one on one match. Number two, expect to see a lot less wrestling in the near future. Nothing was incredibly bad, but not a lot really stood out.

What I saw in this card was a great example of an old school WCW card: the opening stuff was great, then the stars come on and things go downhill a bit. For instance, Fourtune loses? Why? I understand the whole heels win at the end so faces have to win something, but dude, Tommy Dreamer beat AJ Styles at the biggest show of the year in 2010. The theory may work fine but when you put it into action that doesn’t mean it works.

And now for the big reason this show has perplexed me so: the main event. The match itself was rather good and considering my disdain for triple threats that’s saying a lot. As for the angle, the best thing I can say about it is that it was shocking. I didn’t see Hardy turning. Hogan and Bischoff I did and I have the LD posts to prove it.

The common issue with the turn is that it makes no sense. It does make sense to a degree but it’s one of those things that you have to suspend a lot of disbelief, think about a lot of things, ignore a lot of things and just accept parts of. That’s rarely good and I don’t think it’s good here.

The big comparison has been to Vince and Austin at Mania 17. Not really as in that it was simple as JR put it: “Steve Austin has sold his soul to the devil himself to win the WWF Title!” There. That’s it. That’s your explanation. There is no conspiracy, there is no hidden meaning, there is nothing but Austin saying he’s not good enough to beat Rock on his own and is taking the shortcut to get what he wants.

This is a huge conspiracy that is going to require a lot of explanation and in which something is going to get fouled up. I’ve said this many times: I don’t want to have to have a pencil and paper and a flow chart to understand an angle. TNA should not be more complicated than Lost.

Now after all that is said, the show was still good I thought. The ending was good. The shock was good. Impact is going to be through the roof for a few weeks. That being said, the real ratings are going to show through in a few weeks. They’ll be most interesting. I was VERY intrigued last night and while I think it came off as a letdown, the PPV has to be viewed as a success, despite Hogan managing to be the focus of the end of ANOTHER major show and angle.

 

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Bound For Glory 2009
Date: October 18, 2009
Location: Bren Events Center, Irvine, California
Attendance: 2,400
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

Since we’re 5 days from THE BIGGEST TNA SHOW EVER I figured a show was called for. This is from about a year ago and it’s AJ’s trial by fire more or less. He won the title at No Surrender but needs to beat Sting to solidify his reign. Other than that this card looks ok but it also looks like a run of the mill TNA PPV. We’re in California here which is a new thing for the company. However, they’re at about 40% full so it’s not exactly something to write home about. Let’s get to it.

This is TNA’s biggest show of the year so they have a theme song here. Also this is 9 days before Hogan and Bischoff signed. Everyone talks about how important this show is to them. They’re trying to make it seem big if nothing else so points for that. Oh and it might be Sting’s last match. Yeah right.

Some guy named Zakk Wylde plays the national anthem.

X–Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Homicide

This is Ultimate X and the Guns got in by winning a tag match earlier. Suicide is played by Kaz here. Dinero was supposed to be in this too but had a legit family emergency. Red has Don West with him. This is Red’s first Ultimate X match. That’s rather surprising. And there’s a rather scary close up of Homicide. Red and Suicide (how did he and Homicide never team together?) go to the floor as the spots begin.

Daniels stops a huge dive by Red to kill the crowd. Daniels has won four straight of these matches apparently. Red hits a SWEET Rana off the top to Daniels to the floor, taking out about 3 other people. The Guns take over with some of their awesome team stuff. No real attempts at going for the belt until Homicide heads up there. Suicide trumps Homicide though and everyone crashes.

This turns into the Guns vs. everyone else as Daniels takes a missile dropkick Doomsday Device. Everything goes insane again and you can’t really follow much of anything. Homicide, a heel here, goes up but Daniels stops him. Daniels and Sabin play a little chicken but both crash as well. SICK tornado DDT by Sabin. Red gets a leaping Downward Spiral to take out Daniels as this has been rather fun.

There’s the required Tower of Doom spot that never gets old with the big move being Suicide hitting a moonsault on Daniels. To give you an idea, Suicide was on the top rope. Red got behind him for a German. Red was powerbombed off by Sabin. Red suplexed Suicide off and Suicide flipped into a moonsault press onto Daniels. Ok so onto is a stretch but you get the concept.

The crowd isn’t really feeling this outside of big spots, which isn’t great but it’s also not horrible. They know their chants though I suppose. Best Moonsault Ever to Sabin. Daniels, Suicide and Red go up to the top of the structure, as in 7 feet about the X, getting a please don’t die chant. They’re above the height of being on top of the Cell. Daniels almost falls as this is terrifying.

Daniels thankfully drops down as does Suicide. Red is laying on top as the Guns go for the traditional way. Suicide and Daniels go down and Daniels lands on his head. Tazz half kayfabe shouts CHECK HIM, and I couldn’t agree more. Red drops down and gets the belt. I’m legit worried about Daniels after that fall. Don West comes out to celebrate.

Rating: B. I was trying to figure out if it should be minus or plus but this is fine. I’ve never been wild on having big gimmick matches like this to open the show. I get having an X match here but not the big gimmick matches like these. Save these for the middle of the card where the crowd needs a boost. Still though this was solid and the spots were great. Daniels’ fall was scary though. Fun match and did exactly its job though.

Lauren is with the Beautiful People, who are getting the Knockouts Tag Title shot tonight. The belts are like a month old here and Velvet is ridiculously hot as the evil chick. This is Lacey, Velvet and Madison if you’re not sure.

Taylor and Sarita, the champions, say they’ll keep the belts. Sarita insults them in Spanish and it’s fun to be able to understand it.

Tenay and Taz run down the card. I never get this.

Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde/Sarita

Velvet and Madison here. Lacey makes out with the referee and is allowed to stay at ringside. Hebner comes out and throws her out anyway. We botch an armdrag to start as Taylor just kind of falls down. Ah now things are a bit better. Typical match of the genre but Sarita hits a NICE missile dropkick to Velvet. Taylor gets a German into a bridge for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quickie to have the new titles on the show. This wasn’t anything bad and nothing too offensive, but dang these belts would get meaningless very fast. They need to just drop them already and get some fresh blood in the division. Allegedly Mickie is on the way so that should help a lot.

We recap the Legends Title feud which is Eric Young leading World Elite and wanting the title which Nash holds. This was just an awkwardly put together feud and it never clicked at all. Oh and there’s a World Elite vs. Mafia feud with a bounty on Young’s head or something. Like I said it just never clicked at all.

Nash and Young might have an alliance. Young talks a lot and Nash just kind of says whatever.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young vs. Hernandez

Nash has the title here if I forgot to mention that. Hernandez went from being the hottest thing in the world to this. In a year the Legends Title went from Legends to Global to TV. Hernandez, still in the khaki shorts here, beats up both guys to start us off. BIG shoulder block puts Young on the floor. This is basically Hernandez beats up two guys until we get to the conflict between the heels match.

Solid heat on Young. Match is far from that though. And there’s the issue between the heels as Young insists it was just instinct. Hernandez hits a pretty weak missile dropkick to Nash as this is just a boring match. It’s not really horrible but it’s just totally not interesting at all. Big dive by Super Mex to try to make this more interesting.

This has zero flow to it at all and it’s hurting badly. Young hits a big elbow on Hernandez and pulls Nash’s straps down. He sets for the Jackknife and Young rams Hernandez’s head into Nash’s balls for the pin. Pay no attention to Nash’s shoulder being WAY up.

Rating: D-. Not a bad match exactly but just not interesting at all. This was a weird one as they were trying but the styles just totally did not mesh. Like I said it’s not horrible but it’s just there. No flow or story being told really and while the ending was somewhat creative it just never amounted to anything and didn’t work at all.

The teams in the tag title match are arguing but Douglas Williams says worry about Team 3D. And hey there’s a Wrestlemania reference. There’s a Full Metal Mayhem match tonight which they say is the same as a TLC match.

IWGP Tag Titles/TNA Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Main Event Mafia

Since this is TNA they can manage to screw up a TLC match. Both tag titles are on the line here and any team can win any of them. The Mafia, Steiner and Booker, are TNA tag champions and the Invasion are the IWGP champions. The thing was that TNA decided that since EVERYONE watches Japanese tag wrestling that there was nothing wrong with having two sets of tag titles because these other belts are SO famous. I really hated this idea, as in far more than most TNA ideas which should tell you a lot.

Thankfully soon after this TNA would WAKE UP and realize no one cared about the IWGP belts because THIS ISN’T JAPAN. Big brawl to start while Beer Money hides in the corner which is smart. We get into the heart of why I hate this immediately as Taz and Tenay talk about how prestigious the IWGP belts are. That’s all well and good but there’s one flaw: your belts are supposed to be the top titles. If they weren’t you wouldn’t call them WORLD tag titles. It was like TNA was saying “yeah we’re a big deal but we pale in comparison to Japan.” I hated it.

Steiner and D-Von go off to fight and it’s a big mess that’s hard to call. I wouldn’t have put two big multi-man climb up to get an object matches on one show but I get what they were thinking here. Ton of weapons go everywhere and of course there isn’t much in the way of flow but there isn’t supposed to be here. DWI for Booker. Steiner busts out the corner Frankensteiner which is nothing like the original one but is an easier way to avoid having to do the harder spot.

Booker might be legit hurt. Steiner does nothing but suplexes, showing his level of awesomeness. Steiner goes up after the TNA belts (at least he didn’t go for the others first) but the ladder is too short and he gets shoved off. Booker has a stretcher brought out for him as Steiner takes What’s Up. Eh with that many steroids in him he probably didn’t feel a thing.

The Brits bring in tables as Booker is wheeled out. Dudleys just END the English dudes with chair shots. And the guitar player from earlier gets a chair shot on Magnus. Williams goes through a table in the ring as we’re in the “everyone but three people lay down while the three guys do spots” and D-Von hits What’s Up on Williams. BIG Table chant. Double chokeslams (from the Dudleys?) put Beer Money down and through tables.

Steiner pops back up and brings in a ladder. And then he falls off a ladder thanks to 3D. The team not the move. The Dudleys go up at the same time like idiots and here’s Rhyno of all people, since you know 8 people in one match aren’t enough, and blasts them with chairs but not before D-Von gets the IWGP Titles down.

Beer Money and the Brits both go up, resulting in a bad looking suplex on Magnus from both guys. Beer Money has an open shot but has to do their taunt first. Storm gets some beer and then a front flip powerbomb to take Magnus out again. Cool looking spot. Roode is about to get the TNA belts but Rob Terry of the British Invasion comes down to throw him through a table and help Magnus get the belt to end it.

Rating: B. Another fun match much like Ultimate X earlier. There were a lot of people here and I think too many teams. That and having two sets of tag titles made this a bit too much of a mess and the lack of a huge spot kind of slowed it down from being great. That being said this was a fun match and did the job it was supposed to do: get the crowd going. It’s not up to the levels of the great TLC matches but it was good. I still wish they didn’t have two multi-man grab the title matches at one show though but what can you do?

Recap of the Knockouts Title match which more or less is just a three way feud with nothing special to it at all.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB vs. Awesome Kong

ODB has beaten both of them already so we’ll just do it one more time I guess. Should be noted that this is the 5th match on the card, the fifth title match and the fifth match that isn’t a standard one on one or tag match. Think they’re overdoing anything here? Tara’s legs are awesome if nothing else. I never got the appeal of the ODB character at all.

Kong jumps both girls immediately but Tara goes right for her. And so much for that theory as Kong just crushes them. Middle rope splash misses both of them though and we get the rather sexy shirt rip off from Tara. She’d wear these tiny shorts and a Tapout shirt which she’d rip off to more or less reveal a half shirt. The faces fight over who gets the pin as it’s pure formula stuff here but FAR better than the Legends Title match.

Tara hooks the Tarantula but Kong makes the save, which isn’t really a save as you can’t get a submission there but you get the point. Tara gets into it with some fan that might be legit but I’m not sure. Upon further review it was Randy Couture’s wife who had wanted to do an MMA fight with Tara. All planned but TNA messed up the shot and didn’t see it. Why does this not surprise me?

Back in the ring Kong hits the middle rope splash on ODB, covering the entire front row in silicone. It gets two though as Tara makes the save. Implant Buster gets two as ODB kicks out on her own. Saed comes out and throws in a chair but Kong says no. She goes for a powerbomb on ODB and Saed slides the chair in again but ODB reverses into a face plant to the chair for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but FAR better than the other one. There was a story and flow here rather than in the Legends match where nothing had any purpose it seemed. Everything worked here and while it’s not great it’s certainly watchable. Not bad here and definitely ok.

Morgan says tonight is personal and business.

Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

Hey look it’s another non-traditional one on one match as this is a submission match. Joe is in the Mafia here and Lashley is the MMA guy so this actually makes sense for once from a gimmick match perspective. Lashley has taped up ribs for some reason. Ah ok Rhyno jumped him on Impact. And yet he’s fighting Joe here. Well of course he is.

Joe might be a bit slimmer here but it’s hard to tell as the tattoo on his face takes away from his face a bit. Naturally we get the JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant because he’s a heel. Lashley hits a SICK spinebuster and goes after the arm. The problem with wrestling today is that with the advent of MMA and how fast people tap to holds it’s a BIG stretch to have people survive like 30 seconds in arm bars and leg locks.

Suicide dive to take out Lashley as Joe is far more popular than he’s supposed to be. Joe works the ribs as we’re told about the work he’s done on Lashley’s ribs recently. Thanks for talking about that in his entrance rather than Rhyno there guys. Abdominal stretch goes on as Taz is actually helpful here with his submission knowledge. Quick powerslam by Joe as he’s wildly over here.

Lashley blocks part of an armbar and gets some ground and pound in to HUGE boos. A full nelson slam from Lashley takes Joe down and we’re back to even. Lashley is REALLY bad on offense with some of the worst strikes I’ve ever seen. Joe thankfully takes over and beats the tar out of him. And then Lashley gets an STO (reverse stroke for you non-WM 2000 and No Mercy fans) into a side choke for the win. Joe blacked out or something.

Rating: D. They were trying for the MMA thing here and it just didn’t work in the slightest really. Lashley was just not that good at making what he’s capable of really doing look fake if that makes sense. This just didn’t work for me at all as it came off as sloppy and Lashley trying to get one big move in which he did. I’m not an MMA guy so I’m the wrong audience I guess, but this didn’t work at all for me.

Foley talks about fighting Abyss and makes limited sense. Apparently he doesn’t want Abyss to overshadow him and Abyss is going to have to earn it. Ah ok Foley wanted to make him his protégé and them beat the heck out of him just because I guess. Foley is heel here and we actually get a reference to Abyss being world champion. It’s Monster’s Ball also and if Abyss uses tacks he’s disqualified or something.

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Stevie Richards is referee and is the doctor again. LOUD pyro for Abyss. Foley jumps him on the ramp and is all casual about hitting him with the barbed wire bat. I like that. I’m reading his book at the moment and haven’t gotten to this part if it’s in there. Almost immediately Foley goes up the set, climbing a tower. Abyss follows and gets knocked through part of the ramp.

Foley climbs down as Stevie says Abyss is done. Foley gets a running start and drives the bat into Abyss as he’s still in that hole in the ramp/stage. Foley, the face, of course gets cheered. Stevie is the cheerleader dude here as the match just kind of stops until Abyss climbs through the stage. We have a barded wire board from somewhere and he makes a platform with it between the guard rail and the ring.

And there’s another board that’s just like the first. Double armed DDT to Abyss to the board. Richards beats up Abyss too because EVERYONE loved that angle. Foley gets a bat shot into Abyss’ arm to open it up. His head is busted too. Foley goes into the wire board now then Abyss does the same. Make that a sandwich as the other is under him. Naturally it only gets two.

Foley busts out the tacks and Abyss sets to chokeslam him onto them but he’s not allowed. Down goes Stevie and here’s Daffney to give Foley a freaking Taser. And just to make it more stupid it explodes as Foley jabs him with it. They TOTALLY botch it as Abyss misses his kickout and Foley gets three and Abyss raises his shoulder at what would have been four so the referee says he kicked out anyway.

Crowd totally boos that out of the building as Stevie pulls the referee out when Abyss goes for the pin. Daffney goes through the platform they made earlier to get a HOLY CRAP chant. Stevie tries to beat up Abyss and goes into the tacks for his trouble sans shirt. Chokeslam for Foley and we get the Over the Edge 98 finish as Abyss slams Richards’ hand down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally violent but overbooked. Also the botch messed things completely up as it was clearly three and everyone knew it. These matches are fine once in awhile but does it really prove anything? This was a far cry from the Edge or Orton matches and it just didn’t work that well for me. Granted I’m not a fan of hardcore so it’s not my style anyway.

Angle says he’s awesome and that he had AJ beat but the time limit ran out.

Basically Angle stung Morgan along to get his help in winning various matches then screwed him over to make Morgan a ticked off monster that was suddenly awesome. Then he got dropped down to a midcard team with Hernandez for his efforts because Hogan came in and liked Abyss more, but that’s a bit later on. Oh and Morgan more or less cost Angle the title at No Surrender. Oh and Dixie Carter has to say something for no apparent reason other than she’s Dixie Carter.

Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle

This is the semi-main event on the show, we have 45 minutes of TV time left, and this is the first standard one on one match on the card. Also this has a fifteen minute time limit. Dude seriously? Say it’s got an hour or something as you know it’s only going fifteen but dude that’s the time limit a TV Title match with PN News and Steve Austin in 1991 would get.

Angle is still the leader of the Main Event Mafia here and has never won at Bound For Glory. The dueling chants begin immediately as Angle, the leader of the top heel stable in the company, is over here. TNA fans even in other cities are annoying. Morgan controls with power early as he’s getting to show off here. He goes to the top and hits about as good of a cross body as you would expect from a guy that big and who doesn’t go to the top that often.

Angle goes for the legs to take down Morgan. Figure four goes on and Morgan’s leg is almost on Angle’s face. Taz actually OFFERS SOME INSIGHT by saying that since Angle’s legs are shorter and Matt’s are longer it’s easier for Angle to get extra leverage. Well gosh, Taz worked a similar style to Angle, so this is almost like…HIM BEING AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT!!! WHAT A CONCEPT!

One of the guys from Boys to Men is here. TNA needs to either upgrade their celebrities or not have them acknowledged. Also, PICK A BETTER TIME TO SHOW THEM! You know, like during an entrance, not when Matt breaks a hold. Fall away slam hits Angle and his leg seems fine now. Chokeslam gets two. Hellevator is blocked into Rolling Germans from Angle.

Angle Slam, say it with me, gets two. Straps go down and the cheers go up and there’s the ankle lock. It doesn’t work but Angle counters a powerbomb into the ankle lock. Hellevator gets two. Yeah these finishers are kind of not working so far. Ankle lock is the counter to a tombstone and Morgan gets out again. Big clothesline gets two for Morgan. Loud Morgan sucks chant starts up for no apparent reason.

Morgan goes up and does it slowly which you don’t do against Angle. The running suplex isn’t great but it works. Angle Slam and a Frog Splash of all things (good one too) get two. Taz says this is his evolution into a star. That’s rather amusing. And Angle gets a victory roll for the pin. There was no more build than that. The match just kind of ended. They shake hands after the match with nothing screwy about it.

Rating: B-. Good match but not a classic/career making match like they were looking for I don’t think. The idea was to stretch Angle to a degree where he could barely win and I never got that impression here. It was definitely a solid match but it just never got to the level that they wanted it to I don’t think. You can’t say it failed to make Morgan as Hogan arriving changed everything including Morgan.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. AJ Styles

You’ll see a huge difference in the main event here than you would at most other shows from this company recently. There isn’t much of a story here. AJ was going to leave the business, Sting gave him an awesome pep talk, AJ won the title but felt he owed Sting a title shot and wanted the respect. Basic booking and a match between two guys that are solid in ring wrestlers. What an idea.

Also, how much does it say that in a year AJ has gone from main event to feuding with Tommy Dreamer? This is the awesome AJ as well, as in pre Flair and when he was the best in the world. They shake hands to start us off which is nice to see. In the last three years Sting has been 3-0 at Bound For Glory with three straight world title wins. That’s rather impressive.

Feeling out process to start of course. Long one too as we’re at about 3 minutes of it now. AJ controls early and gets a knee drop for two. Sting sends him to the floor and then holds the ropes open for him. They’re doing a slow build here but there isn’t a ton of time left in the show to do that with really. Sting takes over with a backdrop as that somethow might be the biggest move done so far. It’s not bad mind you, just a different kind of match.

Ah there we go as AJ goes for a big dive off the apron but Sting moves and AJ eats steel. Stinger Splash hits steel also and the guardrail is bent a bit. Sting gets a tombstone for two in the ring. Springboard Forearm (my favorite move in TNA) gets two. A series of counters leads to the Death Drop hitting. Sting’s leg is over AJ but there’s no count. Splash sets up another Death Drop for two.

Scorpion Deathlock goes on and it’s one of the best ones I’ve ever seen Sting do. They slug it out and Sting Hulks Up. We head to the corner and AJ gets a Pele and a springboard splash….for the pin? Uh…yeah I guess he does. That ending was TOTALLY anti-climactic as Sting was making his comeback and going all superhuman and then AJ just beat him. I was really getting into this and then it just ended. Odd.

Rating: B. Solid match that would have been classified as great until the ending which just did not work. AJ should have gotten the clean pin and he did but this match was BEGGING for another 5-8 minutes. I don’t get why they just ended the show that fast as we have five minutes left in the video so it’s not like they were lacking for time. I don’t get it but the match we got was rather good.

AJ calls Sting back to the ring (after the first microphone doesn’t work) and says this is his time. The fans chant please don’t go as this was possibly his retirement match which obviously didn’t happen but the idea was nice anyway. Also they never said it was his retirement match either so it’s in no way false advertisement whatsoever.

Sting says this is about AJ but if he’s going to lose he’s glad he lost to someone like AJ, putting him over huge. The fans chant one more year and Sting says he’s not sure if he was going to retire or not and says this isn’t kayfabe but that some of the stuff fans have said to him have made him wanting to stay forever. And then his music plays as I guess we’re out of time? Odd ending where things seemed rush.

Overall Rating: B. I rather liked this show actually and thought it came off pretty well. This is another excellent example of what TNA is capable of when they just go out there and wrestle. Hogan and Bischoff coming in have really hurt this company’s product as instead of just in ring work where this show is strong we now have everything being about swerves and angles with wrestling being a far backseat.

 

I’d love watching Impact if it was stuff like this, but it’s changed for the worse. Hey though, we have Hogan now so everything is all well and good right? Good show this year though.

 

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