Lockdown 2007
Date: April 15, 2007
Location: Family Arena, Saint Charles, Missouri
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Back to TNA now for a show that apparently holds the record for highest PPV attendance. This is the usual deal where everything is in a cage. The main event is Lethal Lockdown, which is their version of WarGames. The teams tonight are Team Cage vs. Team Angle which is a feud that went on forever. Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is about prisons. Makes sense. It shifts into a video about how deadly the main event is.

Lethal, who is pretty freshly Black Machismo, as in he started it ten days earlier, says he’s going to win the title tonight.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy

Sabin is champion and this is an Xscape match, as in first one out is the winner. They tried this a bunch of times but they screwed it up by having like ten people in it. Five is about perfect. Lethal has Nash with him. The cage is kind of different as it looks like the old cage with the squares in the walls, but they’re a lot smaller. I like it. And they have to tag. What exactly are the rules for this thing? That’s not worth letting us know, because we need to talk about the main event.

Dutt and Sabin start. If I remember right, it’s elimination rules and when you get down to the final two it’s escape only. Hey I’m right. Sabin and Shelley try to cheat but Sabin has to put the brakes on. Dutt does his flips but gets placed on the top rope. Sabin sets for a superplex but Shark Boy walks the ropes and tags himself in for a three man Tower of Doom.

Sharky vs. Shelley now and a neckbreaker gets two for the fish. Hurricanrana and a missile dropkick get two. Sabin and Shelley work together a bit more but Shark Boy easily takes care of both of them. To be fair the Guns weren’t a team in TNA yet but this would be their first date for lack of a better term. Sharky tries Diamond Dust but gets caught in a reverse DDT by Shelley. A double legdrop via the Guns take care of him and we’re down to four.

Lethal is in next to a big reaction. Lethal works over Alex but Sabin interferes again and Shelley hits a top rope jawbreaker to put Lethal down. Sabin goes over and blasts Dutt for no apparent reason. Not a nice guy. Sabin vs. Lethal now with Sabin firing off a rapid fire Garvin Stomp. The Guns hit some stuff that would become signature moves over the years. The fans love Shelley.

The Guns beat on Dutt as only they can. Off to Lethal and things speed up again. He fires off a ton of rights to Sabin but the Guns are too much for him. The sequence where they get Lethal on the mat with Shelley having him in a neckbreaker position so Sabin can hit a running dropkick gets two. Dutt tries a springboard double clothesline but slips off so he hits Shelley but the wrong side of him.

Dutt hits an Asai Moonsault press but the Guns are too much for him as Shelley hits a Stunner and crossface style hold. It’s a tag match now and the non-Guns have stereo submissions on. The ASCS Rush puts Lethal down and a wicked Cradle Shock gets rid of Dutt. Lethal hits Lethal Combinations on both guys and the top rope elbow gets us down to two. Now it’s just escape. Lethal takes over and they both climb. They get on the top and both climb down but Sabin gets a kick to knock him into the cage, allowing Chris to drop to the floor to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a very solid opener with the crowd getting way into the Guns. They would officially unite by the end of the month, starting off a multi-year run which is still technically going despite injuries. Lethal would get the title during the summer, holding it for a whopping two days! The Guns would somehow not win the tag titles until 2010.

Team Cage (world champion Christian Cage, Tomko, Steiner, AJ and Abyss) says they’ll win but Tomko and Abyss almost get into a fight. Christian points out that Team Angle arrived separately. They don’t like Jarrett, who is the last member of Team Angle. If any member of Team Cage gets the winning fall, they get a title shot. This turns into Steiner and Tomko arguing about Christmas.

We recap Roode vs. Young which is still going on. The idea is that Young signed a contract with Young after getting screwed by Miss Brooks. This would be probably the peak of Young’s popularity. Young talked about having a friend who would help him and Petey Williams started helping him. That’s not the friend, who would be revealed in a few weeks.

Petey Williams vs. Robert Roode

Roode is the rich dude still. Young is with Roode and gets yelled at before the match. Petey hammers away to start and controls early with speed and stomping. Springboard Codebreaker gets two. Williams does the Tree of Woe spot where he stands on Roode’s balls and sings O Canada. Roode manages to send him into the buckle to shift momentum and I remember why I never wanted to see him get a singles push.

Roode is just totally uninteresting at this point. If you think he’s boring now, today’s Roode has NOTHING on 07 Roode. A SICK clothesline puts Williams down and Eric is just kind of sitting there and doesn’t like what he’s seeing. Middle rope kneedrop gets two. Off to the chinlock. Petey makes a comeback and tries a crucifix for two but he eats cage to break that up. I don’t remember anyone else going into the cage all night until then.

Rock Bottom gets two. Brooks tries to send in a hockey stick but Young makes the save. Williams hits something that we miss as Brooks and Eric are fighting outside. Williams hits a rana back inside as the camera is from above the cage for some reason. The camera goes back to Young so AGAIN we miss whatever Petey uses for two. A dropkick doesn’t hit Roode but he goes into the corner anyway.

Despite that PAINFUL missing dropkick, Roode hits a spinebuster for two. The Canadian sitcom on the floor continues as Roode demands the hockey stick, but Petey hits a cool DDT for two. Now Petey asks for the stick and a few shots with it take Roode down. And Hebner intercepts it because we can’t have weapons in a cage or something. Rollup gets two for Williams. Destroyer is countered and the Payoff (PerfectPlex) ends this.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this actually. Young was wildly popular at this point which shows you how bad Roode was, considering even he couldn’t get over with Young out there. Roode was just so boring and uninteresting that he needed Beer Money or he would have had nothing else to do.

Roode shoves Young post match.

Angle goes to talk to Rhyno who isn’t happy. They have to change the order of entrance tonight. Rhyno doesn’t trust Jarrett but Joe REALLY doesn’t trust him, so Angle should go have this talk with Joe instead.

We recap Gail vs. Jackie. Does it really matter? There was something at Final Resolution, Jackie TALKED REALLY LOUDLY and since that’s the extent of what she does, there’s your story.

Jackie Moore vs. Gail Kim

Gail does look good in those little sky blue shorts. They start fighting on the ramp and Jackie takes over, sending Gail on top of the announce table. Gail gets water poured on her and they haven’t been in the cage yet even though the bell rang. Ok now they’re inside (with a nice view of Gail on the way in) and the fans do not seem to care. Gail goes to escape about 20 seconds after they’re in but Jackie continues to be annoying by making this continue.

Jackie takes over and I always wonder why she had a job. Either way, the American hits a German on the Canadian but Gail pops up anyway. They exchange worthless attempts to go up and Gail gets a sunset flip for one. I think Gail gets sent into the cage but it really wasn’t clear. Gail goes up and hits a dropkick and both of them are down. Kim gets up and goes for the door, resulting in a brawl on the apron with the door open. Gail slams it on Jackie’s face but stays in. Gail goes up and jumps off with a cross body (hitting Jackie square in the face. At least she couldn’t make Jackie any uglier) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was rather bad and not just because I can’t stand Jackie Moore. The cage slamming onto Jackie’s head did make me smile but anytime someone beats her up it’s a good thing. The cross body was bad looking, because that could have been a bad injury to either of them. Still though, bad match.

Bob Backlund, the referee for the next match, is insane and has long fingernails. He doesn’t say he’ll call it down the line.

Austin Starr vs. Senshi

No backstory to this, because I don’t think TNA can explain it either. This went on for awhile and there was something about Kevin Nash holding a tournament which turned into a talent show and the X-Division Title was involved somehow. It made no sense and I don’t think they knew what was going on with it. I say that about a lot of stories, but this was one of the stranger ones ever.

Starr is Austin Aries who is from TV Land. See what I mean by this story making no sense? Backlund tries to keep things civil and Senshi takes over with his high impact stuff. Senshi chops him a lot Starr takes over with a back rake and suplex for two. STO sets up the pendulum elbow for two. Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab. Some more back work eats up a minute or two.

Senshi comes back with kicks to take over. Starr gets backdropped into the cage and a Capo kick gets two. Austin takes over again because guys of this style don’t particularly care for selling. He hits a powerbomb kind of move out of the corner and uses the ropes for two. Backlund gets shoved into the ropes to crotch Senshi who was setting for the Warrior’s Way. 450 gets two. Starr shoves Backlund and Bob shoves him into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was fine, but I just don’t care about these guys. I have no idea what the point of it was and like I said, I doubt TNA did either. This was basically any match with these two in it that you would pick out of a pile. There were some decent spots, but it came and went and I don’t care. Just not my taste at all.

Joe yells about Angle not letting him know who the fifth man (Jarrett) was. Come find him if you want Kurt. The idea is no one trusts Jeff. He tells Jeff to please cross a line with him because Joe will kill him if he does.

We recap Storm vs. Harris. Storm broke a beer bottle over Harris’ eye so he might never be able to see again. The result: a blindfold match, probably because no one ever watched Wrestlemania 7.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

They’re both under hoods so they can’t see. Now go have a cage match boys! The chant of Fire Russo starts up immediately. No contact in the first minute. Ninety seconds. Storm corners the referee at about a minute thirty five. Two minutes in and the literally pass with an inch between them. Two and a half and no contact at all. They touch at 2:37 but both miss punches so let’s try it again. Three minutes now and the fans say they want wrestling. They touch again at about 3:15 and Harris tries to go to the mat but that doesn’t work either so they stop again.

Bear in mind, when there’s no “action” going on, they’re just wandering around with their hands out trying to find each other. That’s it. That’s ALL that happens. Harris points to his head with an idea. Or is he saying put the bullet here because my career is over? Anyway he points around the ring and the crowd cheering tells him where to go. Four minutes in and Harris hits seven punches and they do it again.

They get some really basic offense in (as in a knee to the ribs is a high level move) and Harris punches Storm so hard the hood flies off. We get one of the loudest BORING chants I’ve ever heard as Storm slams him but Harris rolls away to avoid an elbow. This is literally almost spot for spot the same match as Roberts vs. Martel back in 1991. Storm’s hood comes off again (Hey Storm: you’re a heel. TAKE IT OFF AND CHEAT YOU IDIOT!) but that could be too interesting so it’s back to the crawling around.

Somehow Storm manages to hit a reverse tornado DDT for two. The crowd isn’t booing now. They’re just silent. Harris counters two more attempts at it and hits a cutter off the middle rope for two. That gets two and Storm tries to climb but Harris uses the crowd again to make a save. They fight on the top rope and Harris does something like a spear off the top for two. Harris loses his hood, hits a full nelson slam….and it gets two. Harris grabs the referee and tries a Sharpshooter on him for some reason. Storm FINALLY CHEATS, hitting the Last Call with the hood off for the pin.

Rating: S. As in Sacrifice. Watch their match at Sacrifice. It’s one of the best TNA matches I’ve ever seen whereas this was just horrible. The stipulation makes sense, but as usual it’s not something that they thought through. The match ran about ten minutes and probably eight and a half was them walking around. One of the worst matches ever, and that covers a lot. Meltzer said it was the worst match of the year and I can’t say I disagree.

Angle talks to Sting who isn’t thrilled with Jarrett either. Kurt checks to make sure they’re all on the same side and Sting says he’ll go with it, but he’ll take both of them out if Jarrett does something out of line.

Daniels does some creepy promo about his purpose or something like that. He has to sacrifice something or other.

Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

Lynn jumps him as he comes in as I think this is old vs. new but they really aren’t that clear on it. Daniels gets beaten down quickly but hits a neck snap on the top to take over. Victory roll gets two for Lynn. A leg lariat puts Jerry down and the crowd is being all quiet again. To be fair they have to follow that nonsense from the previous match so it’s going to take a lot to get them back into anything.

Daniels grabs a cord from a camera to choke Jerry. The crowd is SILENT here. Tenay tries to pass it off as the fans are too confused by Daniels. Whatever makes you sleep better at night Mikey. Lynn starts a comeback and sends Daniels into the cage. Rana gets two. DDT gets the same. This match needs to end soon. Daniels backdrops him into the cage but Lynn gets a quick cradle piledriver attempt.

Release Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME but Lynn rolls out of the way. Facejam gets two. The crowd is trying to get into it but it’s really not happening. They both go up top and Daniels hits a Downward Spiral off the top. They exchange near falls and the fans suddenly think this is awesome. I’m not sure that’s what I’d say but whatever. They go up top again where Angels’ Wings and Cradle Piledriver attempts fail. Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) ends this back in the ring.

Rating: C. Yeah whatever. Anyone that has read one of my TNA reviews before knows I don’t care for Daniels and this is no exception. The match wasn’t bad but it was just a match. The lack of a story is really hurting things here because I don’t know why these two hate each other. That and the cage is getting old.

Team 3D says they’ll win their first titles in TNA. They have a WCW tag title and a WWF tag title each. It’s an electrified steel cage match against LAX. Bubba does the talking (of course) and says tonight they win their 20th tag titles.

Quick recap video for the tag title match. Basically it’s an electrified cage match because that’s how it is at the border. Konnan’s idea, not mine.

LAX says the violence goes up tonight. Konnan is in a wheelchair at this point.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

No Konnan to start. This gets big match intros as it’s basically the first of two main events. The lights are dimmed for this so it’s almost blue. Apparently the current going through the cage is only on in certain places at certain times. They don’t have to tag because when the cage is electrified, tagging is pretty stupid. Team 3D controls to start. This is a hard match to call because they’re moving around kind of strangely here, due to trying to avoid the cage. It’s not bad per se, but it’s not the most exciting thing in the world.

What’s Up hits and at least D-Von was very tentative about going up due to being next to the cage. LAX takes over and uses whatever cheating methods they can. D-Von is busted and Homicide’s hand touches the cage to give us the first electrocution in the match. I didn’t expect to have to write that. Hernandez is busted too. He goes up but D-Von manages to crotch him. Homicide is crotched as well and we get nearly stereo superplexes.

D-Von beats up Homicide, hitting a powerslam for two. Konnan has been wheeled out. Whoever wheeled him out beat down the outside referee and gave Konnan some rubber gloves. Hector Guerrero, the Spanish announcer, jumps that guy (we can’t see who he is) and stares down Konnan. Apparently the guy who wheeled Konnan out was trying to get the key to the door. Hector unlocked it and the door is open. It’s hard to tell what’s going on due to the light. Bubba yells at him to hand him an F’ing table.

The delay allows for LAX to get a quick takeover but Hernandez stops to yell at Hector, so Hector slams the door on his head. The double neckbreker gets two on SuperMex. Bubba Bomb gets two on Homicide. Samoan Drop gets two on D-Von. Top rope elbow gets the same. This has gotten a good deal better. HUGE layout powerbomb gets two on Homicide by Bubba.

We get the first big electrocution spot as Hernandez Border Tosses D-Von into the cage and he vibrates like a fish on a fish frying plate. He’s COVERED in blood, which would be more effective if you could see it. The fans aren’t that thrilled with this as they chant Fire Russo. A middle rope elbow gets two for Bubba. D-Von is apparently fine after the MASSIVE ELECTROCUTION as a Doomsday Device gets two.

The table gets loaded up and D-Von is placed onto it. Hernandez puts some rubber gloves on but takes forever to do it. He climbs to the top of the cage but since he took FOREVER, the splash through the table misses. Looked awesome though. The Dudleys take over on Homicide, throw him into the cage, botch a 3D off the cage and then hit the 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but it wasn’t THAT bad. I mean, if you compare this to the blindfold match it’s a masterpiece. The cage stuff was stupid and I’m really not sure what the point of the lights was. Maybe the cage sucked too much electricity out? Anyway, not a horrible match but it was probably way too much for the payoff they got out of it.

Angle yells at JB for suggesting that calling Jarrett was an act of desperation. Team 3D’s music is still playing because they almost immediately cut away. That’s a running thing in TNA: it’s like they’re always running behind schedule.

We recap Lethal Lockdown, which is WarGames which I’m not going to explain again. Basically it’s Christian as champion and Angle wants it. Whoever gets the fall here, wins the title shot I believe. Also Jarrett is there because Angle couldn’t find anyone else. He was totally evil before he left for a few months, but Angle vouches for him. Abyss isn’t sure if he wants to be on Christian’s team but he was basically forced to due to a threat of violence against his mother. No one thought Angle had 5 guys but Sting and Jarrett showed up to fill out the team. No one trusts Jarrett other than Angle though.

Harley Race will be keeping the key.

Team Christian vs. Team Angle

Christian Cage, Tomko, AJ Styles, Abyss, Scott Steiner
Kurt Angle, Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe, Rhyno

Two people start for five minutes, Team Cage gets the advantage for two minutes, after everyone is in the roof with weapons lowers, first fall wins and gets a shot at Christian at Sacrifice. AJ vs. Angle to start. AJ is still kind of an idiot at this point. He tries to take it to the mat but Angle is like boy please. Pretty much just feeling each other out so far to start. Angle goes into something made of steel and AJ stomps away. Off to the chinlock as they’re saving energy for later in the match. Kurt pops off an Angle Slam out of nowhere as the clock runs down.

Abyss is out second and Angle is in trouble. Shock Treatment to Angle and things go really slowly. Remember that there are two minute periods from now on. With really nothing happening in that period, here’s Rhyno who has to pose on the ramp before going to help his partner. He cleans house for awhile and hits a clothesline to take Abyss down. Angle is back up now so it’s a bit more balanced. Tomko comes out to make it 3-2.

The drug addict goes after the guy with alcoholic tendencies and the bearded one wins. Rhyno is busted. Joe comes in third. A lot of these periods are just coming and going with nothing interesting happening at all. Joe beats up Abyss while everyone else is kind of standing around. Down goes Tomko but AJ gets in a shot. MuscleBuster puts AJ down and Tomko takes Rolling Germans. Abyss gets caught in Joe’s Clutch as Steiner comes in to make it 4-3.

Just like the rest of the periods, he beats up all of the partners and hits what he calls the Frankensteiner on Rhyno. Other than that it’s all belly to belly suplexes. Sting comes in to tie it up. Death Drop to Abyss, Splash to Steiner, Splash to Abyss, Splash to Tomko/Styles. AJ tries to climb but Joe chases him, resulting in a SIX MAN TOWER OF DOOM. Ok that was awesome. Deathlock to Steiner but Tomko breaks it up. Christian is the final member of his team to make it 5-4.

Chops don’t work on Sting so Christian gets beaten down. Does no one watch Flair matches? Sting beats up Christian for a few moments and puts the Deathlock on him. Here’s Jarrett to fire off dropkicks for everyone and a Stroke for AJ. The roof is lowered. Everyone stands up and it’s a five on five brawl, rendering the first 21 minutes of this match totally useless.

Jarrett gets a bat but throws it to Sting. Rhyno gets a garbage can in the same method. Total dominance at this point by Team Angle. AJ gets the bat and clubs everyone not named Angle. AJ goes up through a hole in the roof to the top of the cage for some reason. Angle follows him up and Mitchell gives Abyss bags of tacks. Race pops Mitchell for his efforts and the crowd really doesn’t seem to care about this match.

Rhyno gores Tomko through the door as AJ and Angle try not to die by falling off the top of the cage. AJ cracks Angle in the head with a chair and Rhyno goes to the floor also. Steiner goes outside too and Joe dives onto Tomko. There are only four left in the cage. Abyss lays out the tacks but can’t chokeslam Sting and Jarrett at the same time.

Christian takes a double chokeslam from Sting and Jarrett which is a cool visual. Black Hole Slam to Jarrett but not onto the tacks. Angle knocks AJ off the cage onto the people outside the cage. SCARY stuff there. Abyss pours the other bag of tacks into the guitar and since he loaded it up, it goes over his head and Jarrett lets Sting get the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This was more or less every Lethal Lockdown match you’ll ever see: there are too many people in the ring, the periods don’t mean anything until the end, and the match is pretty dull until the last five minutes. Still though it’s fun and it does what it’s supposed to do, which is all you can really ask for.

Sting, Rhyno and Joe shake Jarrett’s hand but Angle walks away as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t totally worthless and awful, but there’s a lot more bad than good on it. The worst two matches, the blindfold and electric matches, are by far the worst with the blindfold one being one of the worst I’ve ever seen. The pretty good main event doesn’t save it and by the time you’ve sat through two and a half hours of drek, the good opener is long forgotten. Not the worst show ever, but it’s certainly not worth watching.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re in a new year for TNA and we have Genesis this coming Sunday. I won’t say it comes off as a throwaway show, but it feels almost like a given that Hardy is going to win the title. It almost feels like it’s too much of a given actually. Anyway, tonight we have the finals of the Wild Card Tournament to determine who faces Morgan/Crimson on Sunday. Other than that there isn’t much that I know of. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Sting to open the show. He requests Jeff come down here so here he comes too. Sting talks about Jeff rebuilding trust back one step at a time. He was dealing with some demons of his own recently but he got a second chance, just like Jeff has. Here come Angle, Ray and Roode to interrupt. Roode wants to know why Sting is endorsing Hardy instead of Roode or Angle or Ray. Roode says that Sting picks his favorites and it looks like we’re going to have a fight.

Cue Storm and Abyss and I think you know where this is going. Storm gets in the faces of Roode and Angle, talking about how the Last Call put Kurt down. Abyss is his friend and he likes to drink beer too. Kurt starts to say something but Abyss shouts him down. Abyss promises to make Ray pay for the sins of Immortal. Ray starts to respond but Sting makes the required six man for later tonight.

Madison Rayne is in a bikini. No particular reason but we cut over to Traci in the other end of the pool. Gail, the camerawoman, jumps in and it’s a big brawl. Mickie does the same. I’m not complaining about the four of them in swimsuits.

Knockout Tag Titles: Mickie James/Traci Brooks vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Big brawl to start and the challengers dominate to start. They beat Gail up with ease and send the champs to the floor as we take a break. Back with Mickie firing away on Madison in the corner. Traci and Gail get into it on the floor as Madison holds a Cravate on Mickie. Mickie hits a dropkick and everything breaks down again. Bridging rollup gets two for Mickie. Another gets the same result but Madison gets in a shot to take over again. Off to Gail and Traci as things speed up a bit. Everything breaks down as Mickie hits Madison with the top rope Thesz Press but Eat Defeat pins Traci soon thereafter at 10:30.

Rating: D. This was kind of all over the place. The whole pool thing before the match didn’t really add anything but I’m hardly complaining about looking at Mickie and Madison in swimsuits. Gail really needs a new finisher though. The whole holding Traci there until she could call back to drive the foot into her jaw didn’t work at all.

Flair hypes up Gunner in the back. They’re going to put someone else in the hospital again but Sting pops up and says that since RVD has no partner later, Gunner won’t have a manager either. Sting and Flair will be sitting in the back watching the match.

Eric is still in love with ODB and thinks they’re still in the tournament.

Recap of the Wild Card Tag Tournament.

Magnus is fired up but Joe says nothing.

Not-Fourtune says they have chemistry and they trust each other.

Garrett Bischoff is back as a referee. Sting says he’s a wrestler, not a referee and gives him some boots.

Eric goes into the Knockouts’ locker room looking for ODB and gets yelled at. He tries to lock up with them and gets choked by Madison. Madison gets shoved into a locker and this isn’t funny.

Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

The fans get on Gunner to start but van Dam grabs a quick rollup for two. Van Dam slides to the floor and we take another break. Back and Gunner is in control with nothing of note. F5 is countered into a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Rolling Thunder gets no cover. They go to the floor and RVD gets his leg caught in the ring skirt. Gunner pulls back the mats….which draws the DQ at 9:50. So you can get disqualified for threatening people?

Rating: D+. This was better than the Knockouts but not by much. RVD has a style which really doesn’t mesh that well with others and it didn’t here. Gunner has been a lot better recently but this wasn’t anything of note. To be fair though, he can only beat up jobbers for so long. Not bad here.

Van Dam escapes the piledriver but his spin kick to the railing hits the railing. The agents run down to break up the piledriver.

Abyss, Storm and Hardy are ready for the main event.

So are their opponents.

Kid Kash/Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen/Zema Ion

This is your fourway X-Division Title match on Sunday. Sorensen and Kash start us off with Kash taking a nice dropkick. Ion tags himself in, gets struck down for a few seconds and then it’s off to Aries. MY GOODNESS that was a hard chop. He hits the suicide dive to Ion and then a spinebuster kind of move sets up the pendulum elbow for two. That one was much faster so it was much better and more believable. Sorensen comes back in and hits those jumping shots of his.

Kash and Aries have some heel (?) miscommunication and everyone is down. Ion comes in and hits a spinning cross body for two on Aries. Aries and Kash try a double suplex but Ion escapes and brings Sorensen in to speed things up. McGillicutter takes Aries down and a plancha puts Kash down as well. Brainbuster is countered and Sorensen goes up, but he and Ion argue over who gets to finish Aries. The distraction allows Aries to recover but Sorensen makes a blind tag and hits a Test Drive for the pin on Aries at 7:10.

Rating: C-. This is the same issue I had last week with this sort of match. These guys are fine at what they do, but there’s really no reason to care about them. Guys like Ion and Sorensen have next to no character and that’s really hurting them. Now they could get better later on but they need to do something with them before they can move on.

AJ and Kaz are ready. Kaz was sitting in a locker and Daniels walks out of it after AJ and Kaz leave. Interesting.

ODB is taking pictures of a photographer when Eric comes up and says they have a match. They roll around on the floor and ODB kisses him. Oh geez.

Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Finals: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian

Winners get Morgan/Crimson on Sunday. AJ vs. Joe to start and that works for me. Joe takes him down to start and hooks an abdominal stretch to control. Off to Magnus vs. Kaz as the British guy gets his head kicked off. Back to AJ who drops a knee and brings Kaz back in. Joe comes back in with a senton backsplash for two. Taz is talking about bathtubs for some reason.

Kaz is playing Ricky Morton and gets beaten down by Magnus, but by the time I’ve typed that Kaz has rolled to the corner and brought in AJ. Springboard forearm looks to set up the Clash but Magnus escapes. Pele puts Magnus down and Daniels is in the aisle. AJ goes for a tag but Kaz drops to the floor. Joe runs over AJ and beats him down so a top rope elbow from Magnus sends he and Joe to the finals at 6:18.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and I can live with Joe and Magnus going to the title match I guess. It could have been FAR worse if nothing else. I’m really not looking forward to AJ vs. Daniels again so hopefully this is AJ vs. Kaz instead of Daniels again. Not a horrible match but it was more about the angle at the end than the match, which is ok I guess.

Morgan and Crimson are cool with facing Magnus and Joe. The challengers pop up and brag and a brawl almost breaks out but D’Lo pops up and I think they better recognize his authority.

We run down the Genesis card.

Jeff Hardy/Abyss/James Storm vs. Robert Roode/Bully Ray/Kurt Angle

Storm vs. Ray gets us going and the referee has to throw the chain….into Ray’s corner. Why not like, a neutral corner to to someone not in the ring? Ray tries to get a cheap shot in the corner but gets chopped instead. Off to Abyss and Ray tries to hide. Off to the champ instead and to his credit he goes after Abyss. The heels manage some double teaming on Abyss and we take a break.

Back with Angle hammering on Abyss but it’s off to Storm vs. Roode quickly. Ray clotheslines Storm down quickly and we have Beer Money and Angle in there at the same time. Ok now it’s just Beer Money but Ray tags in quickly. After a quick bow and arrow hold it’s back to Angle. Storm hits a Russian legsweep to put Angle down and it’s hot tag to Hardy to meet Roode. Twisting Stunner gets two and everything breaks down. Everybody pairs off….and it’s thrown out 12:07. LAME.

Rating: C-. Pretty decent six man main event until the weak ending. Just have someone take a quick finisher into a rollup for the pin. It’s not like it’s going to cripple them before Sunday. Not a fan of endings like these but it could have been worse again. Still would have liked to see Hardy get a pin on Roode though.

Twist to Roode post match but Ray breaks up the Swanton. Codebreaker to Roode but Angle breaks up the kick, hitting one of his own to Storm. Abyss cleans house now and tries Chock Treatment to Angle but Ray gets his chain and hits Abyss with it a few times. The bad guys rule the ring and Abyss is hung a bit. I mean a chain is put around his neck and pulled on you sick freaks. Hardy is tapping to a Crossface and we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t that bad and for a go home show it was really pretty good. I think all of the feuds other than Pope vs. D-Von were addressed and that’s a pretty good ratio overall. The wrestling wasn’t all that good but it set up stuff for Sunday as well as for the future. Also, it was way better than Raw which really isn’t saying much but it’s true. Not bad and Genesis is pretty well set up, which is the whole point.

Results
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Mickie James/Traci Brooks – Eat Defeat to Brooker
Rob Van Dam b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner pulled the ring mats back
Jesse Sorensen/Zema Ion b. Austin Aries/Kid Kash – Rolling DDT to Aries
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. AJ Styles/Kazarian – Top rope elbow to Styles
Abyss/Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Robert Roode/Kurt Angle/Bully Ray went to a double disqualification

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 10, 2011
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still in Macon and it’s time for the go home show before Turning Point. At this moment, we have no main event as the world title has changed twice in three weeks so we haven’t had much of an opportunity to set anything up. I’d expect a tacked on main event which is TNA’s custom far too often. This show has been better than Raw (arguably) recently. Let’s get to it.

We open up with a video of Roode turning heel last week to win the title.

Here’s Roode to open the show with the belt. He doesn’t know why the people are booing him. Wait, are they booing him or are they chanting Roode, because that’s what they were doing last week when they were cheering him on. Is it because he killed Beer Money? Or is it because he did everything that they all would have done in the same situation? This is a new generation and he’s the leader of that generation.

You can do everything right and it means nothing. We see an inset of Storm wanting to come to the ring but the agents hold him back. Roode talks about how after BFG, he learned you have to take your opportunities and that’s what he did. Here comes Storm and the fans are happy to see him. Storm beats them down and charges the ring but Roode bails.

As security holds Storm back, here’s Sting. He makes the rematch for tonight and that’s it.

Tonight it’s AJ vs. Daniels. AGAIN.

Here’s a video on Crimson vs. Morgan. This isn’t a dream match no matter how much they want it to be.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Crimson

After having to watch Elijah Burke and Matt Morgan reach levels of uninteresting that I honestly didn’t think existed in their feud in OVW in I think 03 or 04, THANK GOODNESS this is Crimson. They exchange headlocks to start us off and I don’t think anyone knows who Pope is. A DDT gets two as does a middle rope fist drop. Crimson grabs a Cravate but gets punched back again. Pope goes up again but jumps into the Red Sky for the pin at 2:38. As almost usual with Crimson, he got beaten down but hit one move for the win.

Gunner says he’ll destroy Garrett Bischoff and something about a code in the military.

Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff

Gunner is really lous and talks trash to Garrett. He turns to talk to Eric (he and Flair are on the floor) and walks into a pretty decent armdrag and make it two of them. Garrett takes over with some basic stuff and isn’t half bad at it. And then Flair and Eric come in, I think for a DQ, as Garrett runs. It ran about 1:45. Based on this, Eric can have his contract rewritten.

Robbie E and Big Rob try to get to Ronnie from Jersey Shore. This goes nowhere.

After a break we see Storm out cold and covered in blood.

Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen

Basic stuff to start and Ion goes up. The 450 misses a reverse Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:57. There’s nothing else to say here.

Kid Kash comes out to run his mouth and be annoying and southern. Kash says Sorensen gets the title shot at Turning Point but it’s in a three way dance. Sorensen signs the contract and Kash implies he slept with Sorensen’s mother.

Karen tells Gail and Madison that they look pretty.

Knockout Tag Titles: Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Velvet spears Madison down to start and hammers away. Madison gets beaten down quickly and it’s off to Mickie who looks great tonight. Gail shoves her off the top and then comes in to beat on her a bit. The match means nothing at all as it’s all to set up Gail pinning Velvet to set up the PPV match for the singles title. Velvet comes in and takes over, hitting an awful looking spinning bulldog or something. Mickie goes up and something is clipped as Mickie hits the Thesz Press. A sitout Pedigree ends Madison but Velvet walks into Eat Defeat for the pin at 4:00. See? Told you so.

Rating: D. Whatever man. That’s what I’m going to start every Knockouts rating with. The problem at the end of the day is that these stories don’t mean anything and the feuds usually have zero heat on them at all. Nothing to see here and like I said, the ending was about as obvious as any I’ve ever seen in my life.

James is awake and Sting comes to see him. The trainer is trying to sew him up and he can’t stand.

We recap the Robs vs. Ronnie/Eric Young. Let’s get this over with.

Ronnie/Eric Young vs. Robbie E/Rob Terry

Ronnie and Robbie start us off but they tag out before there’s any contact. Eric locks up with the referee. Oh that wacky comedy! Eric gets beaten down as we await the “reality” TV star to make the save. A belly to belly suplex puts Robbie down and there’s the hot tag to Ronnie. To the shock of no one, he does some basic stuff not that horrible and we’re supposed to care for some reason. Eric drops a top rope elbow…and he’s in leopard print underwear now. A splash from Ronnie gets the pin at 4:15.

Rating: F. I hate the Jersey Shore and I review wrestlers having matches. That is all.

Immortal says they’ll win tonight.

Mexican America gets in a fight with Ink Inc in catering. There’s a tag title match Sunday.

Here’s an MMA guy on commentary for the next match.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

This is match #eleventy billion between them. The MMA guy gets a closeup as we miss part of the match. The match is a backdrop as we praise Bellator and how great it is. They’re debuting on Spike soon after UFC leaves. AJ flips over in the corner and Daniels takes over. This is just their usual match with Daniels controlling for the most part and then AJ starts his comeback. He hits his usual stuff and we talk about MMA. Here’s the screwdriver after we go to the floor. RVD comes out to take it away and AJ uses the distraction to hit the Clash for the pin at 7:27.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that’s fine but I just don’t care. The problem again is that we’ve seen this so many times that there’s nothing to see in it anymore. We’ve seen AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels so many times that there’s nothing left to watch them do. Daniels vs. anyone else would be interesting.

Here’s the card for Turning Point. The tag title match is in a six person match.

Immortal vs. Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson/???

The mystery partner is Abyss. Well that was shocking. Scott beats on Hardy a bit as Hardy sells like only he can. He really is good at that. Jeff hits the mule kick and it’s off to Anderson. The heels beat on him a bit with a bunch of elbows from Ray. Off to Hardy as we’re waiting for Abyss to come in and dominate.

The Matt Hardy leg drop hits Bubba but Jarrett breaks up the Swanton. Hardy gets beaten down for a bit and it’s off to Abyss for the real hot tag. The Stroke is countered into Shock Treatment and Ray walks into the Twist and Swanton. Stroke to Hardy, Mic Check to Jarrett, suplex to Anderson, Black Hole Slam and pin to Steiner at 8:15.

Rating: C-. Basic match here but the ending was pretty good. Abyss as a mystery partner was kind of odd as it’s not like there’s anyone else they would have put in there that would have made sense. Him as an official face isn’t bad and it’s good to see Immortal pretty firmly in the midcard where they belong.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

The match is set to start after a break and there’s no Storm. The music plays twice and he finally comes out. He’s COVERED in blood. Storm goes off to start but then collapses. Storm is out cold. The referee throws up the X and the trainer is here. Roode acts all concerned and says he wants to check on Storm. He asks if the amtch is over and then rolls Storm up for the pin at 2:40.

AJ and Kaz come out and it’s AJ vs. Roode on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but the big thing is we had 8 matches. That’s a HUGE improvement as that means 8 different stories or angles were addressed, plus the tag title match was actually mentioned on TV. This was a well put together show which is what they’ve been lacking for a long time. Good stuff here, although not great. Major improvement in some areas though.

Results
Crimson b. D’Angelo Dinero – Red Sky
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner via DQ when Ric Flair interfered
Jesse Sorensen b. Zema Ion – Reverse Spinning DDT
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky/Mickie James – Eat Defeat
Ronnie/Eric Young b. Robbie E/Rob Terry – Ronnie pinned Robbie E after a splash
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Styles Clash
Abyss/Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner/Bully Ray – Black Hole Slam to Steiner
Robert Roode b. James Storm – Pin after Storm collapsed

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Hard Justice 2007
Date: August 12, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

We’re on the final part of this three PPV series and it’s a winner take all main event with Angle vs. Joe and the TNA, IWGP, X and tag titles all on the line. Also on this show is one of the few TNA appearances of Andrew “The Punisher” Martin, who is more famous as Test. The last show I did (Genesis) was a great surprise so hopefully this is the same. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how Angle is totally awesome and made Lesnar tap out in Japan to win another world title. This is set to video of the space shuttle launching for some reason. Karen is sick of him though and says their marriage is over. Angle blames Joe for it which is the other setup for the main event.

Pacman Jones arrives. Why they thought this was a good idea eludes me to this day.

Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt vs. Triple X vs. Motorcity Machineguns

Triple X is Daniels/Senshi (Kaval). No one seems to care about Dutt/Lethal so far as we have dueling XXX/Guns chants. Dutt and Shelley have a kick off as we have people in police shirts on the floor. Oh they’re here for Pacman Jones. You know, because a guy that was involved in the paralysis of a part time wrestler at a strip club shooting is worth putting on PPV because it could make a few bucks right?

Ok so I think we have Dutt vs. Daniels to start and it’s off to Lethal quickly. Now let’s look at two chairs because Joe is going to have Karen Angle here later on. Dutt hits a standing moonsault for two on Shelley. This is one of those matches that is designed to be very fast paced and not have any kind of selling or storytelling in it. The Guns beat up Lethal for a bit and the fans cheer. They wouldn’t get the titles for about 3 years.

Off to Senshi as I can barely keep up with what’s going on. It’s not that it’s too fast, but with the guys coming in and out and no one ever really being in trouble, why or how am I supposed to get behind someone? The fans want Shelley. Lethal gets beaten down by XXX and this is already dragging.

Off to Shelley vs. Dutt who gets a rollup for two. And before I finish that line it’s Lethal vs. Senshi. Make that Lethal vs. Sabin vs. Daniel and a triple clothesline puts them all down. Shelley hooks an abdominal stretch on the floor for some reason so Lethal can dive onto everyone. Daniels dives on them all and it’s Sabin vs. Senshi. Now they both dive and I just want this match to end.

Dutt takes out everyone with a big moonsault and all six are down. Elix Skipper, the third member of XXX, comes in to save Daniels from Sabin. After that batch of random fighting and big spots, here’s another batch of random fighting and big spots. The Guns beat up Lethal as there’s a weak “This is Awesome” chant. Everyone breaks up a bunch of pin attempts and Senshi escapes Sliced Bread. XXX does a pretty cool double team sequence, but since it’s TNA it only gets two instead of being the big awesome finish. The actual finish: Lethal rolls up Daniels after a bunch more cool double teaming spots.

Rating: D+. This was one of the biggest chores to sit through that I’ve ever seen this side of an ROH show. The idea of these matches is to be fast paced and exciting, not the same stuff over and over again for fifteen minutes plus. It went WAY too long and it’s the same Cruiserweight/X Division stuff we’ve seen a million times.

JB goes to see Samoa Joe but finds Karen and a guy that looks a lot like Kurt, saying he’s the new man in her life.

Kaz vs. Raven

Raven had some freak show team around this time and Kaz rebelled. This is the revenge match. Raven offers Kaz a chance to return to the team but Kaz pops him. They head to the floor quickly and Seretonin (the team) gets involved but screws up, giving Kaz control early on. Raven hits the Russian legsweep into the rail spot that he often does. In the ring, Raven busts out a victory roll of all things for two.

A Million Dollar Kneelift puts Kaz on the floor. Raven beats on Kaz but Kaz fires back with punches. I don’t know what it is but I can’t get into this show at all. I think a lot of it is the lack of storylines and context for these matches and angles, but I don’t think they’re going to be interesting no matter what you do with them. Kaz takes out the other Seretonin guys but Raven cracks him with a kendo stick to the head. Kaz escapes a DDT, hits a one footed dropkick….and gets the pin. At least it’s over.

Rating: D. Just a messy brawl that wasn’t anything to see. There were some cool spots, but Raven was just annoying Kaz here more than being a threat. This was another of those feuds that I have zero interest in but have to sit through for the purposes of writing this. That being said I wasn’t interested in this feud four years ago either.

JB goes to tell Kurt about Karen and her date and he’s not happy. Kurt blames it on menopause. Kurt: “Does this guy have any gold medals?”

We recap the Rhyno vs. Storm feud which is based on Rhyno being a recovering alcoholic and Storm pouring beer down his throat. They stole the spot from Raven vs. Punk in ROH but who cares?

Rhyno vs. James Storm

This is a bar room brawl, which means a street fight. There’s a table with a cloth on it in the ring and alcohol bottles at ringside. They start in the aisle and go into the crowd as the bell rings. Storm hits him with a trashcan as we talk about Rhyno throwing a chair into the crowd. Not that we saw it or anything but I guess it’s implied. This is one of those old ECW brawls where it’s walk walk walk, punch punch, walk some more.

After about 4 minutes they get to the bar that Storm set up at ringside. Rhyno drinks some beer (recovering alcoholic angle remember) and the fans cheer. There’s a mannequin there and Rhyno throws it around too. Rhyno drinks from a keg and throws it on Storm and here’s a toilet for no apparent reason. Is there a point to ANY of this? They haven’t been in the ring yet.

Now Rhyno drinks vodka. He sits on the toilet and everyone goes quiet. Gee I wonder why. Now there’s a ladder being brought in. I hate these alcoholic angles so I’m not happy at all here. They go into the ring finally and Rhyno is supercharged on booze I think. Jackie gets involved and James is able to send him flying over to the floor. Rhyno takes over and is now drunk or “possessed by the liquor” or something. There’s a table in the corner now but the Gore misses, giving Storm two. Storm goes off on him with a trashcan and adds a Conchairto. A superkick and beer bottle to the back of the head end this.

Rating: C-. I get the story of the match but I don’t like it. I’ve never liked these kind of stories and I never will. Rhyno would take a few weeks after this due to his relapse. Yeah that’s what they went with for a face. Nothing to see here as the match was just dull overall as it was a lot of standing around and then dominance by one guy or the other.

Ron Killings (R-Truth) rants about Pacman Jones coming to TNA.

The announcers talk about the main event to kill time.

Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. LAX

Just a tag match here. LAX are the good guys here. The fans chant DX rejects for some reason. I mean, they were in DX but rejects? Really? Do TNA fans really think that the HBK/HHH version counts as a major DX incarnation? And they call themselves smart fans. Wow. Kip James (Billy Gunn) looks like he belongs back in Billy and Chuck.

BG (Road Dogg) works over Homicide as we hear about the Steiners being in action later tonight against Team 3D. It’s a dream match, but at the same time the Steiners are old at this point so how dreamy is it? Kip hooks a bearhug on Homicide as I can’t see this match lasting long. Partially that’s because I looked at the match time but ignore that part for now.

The bearhug goes on for awhile as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez. I don’t get why they didn’t just make the modern version of Mexican America into LAX 2.0. I mean, it is LAX 2.0 but why not just call it that? Here’s Hernandez who cleans house and everything breaks down. Roxxi gets up on the apron to throw something in Hernandez’s eyes. A Fameasser gets the pin. Well it was more like he jumped and then Hernandez fell over but whatever.

Rating: D+. Whatever man. This was like an Impact match but we just had to have it here for some reason. Nothing to see here which is what happens when one guy holds the tag titles and is in the main event in a singles match. The Mafia didn’t mean anything at this point and the fans’ reaction to them seems to prove that.

Hector Guerrero comes out and tells the referee what happened. He listens to Hector so the match restarts and LAX gets the pin. Well sure why not. This is Hector’s return from being beaten down by…LAX. Vince Russo lives!!!

We recap Eric Young vs. Robert Roode. It’s more or less a comedy feud and we’re having a tar and feather match.

Eric says he’s going to lose like he did in high school. Kurt Angle comes up and says Karen wasn’t there. He accuses JB of dating her instead. Eric cracks up and confirms there’s another guy here with Karen.

Eric Young vs. Robert Roode

This is part of the feud that went on FOREVER and never really went anywhere at all. Well it got Traci into a bikini which was a nice thing to see. Traci gets involved here and hits Eric with a shoe. Eh she was bent over in a low cut top so no complaints there. Roode chokes away and I remember why I hated his original heel run: he was boring. I mean like 5th season of NXT boring.

He’s just a rich guy that wrestles. There’s nothing to see here and he’s not interesting at all. He’s Curt Hennig’s moveset with DiBiase’s gimmick but none of their charisma or likability. Young gets something going but gets caught in an Alabama Slam to put him back down. A middle rope kneedrop hits for two. They slug it out and both guys go down. Crucifix gets two for Eric.

Roode goes up and gets crotched as the fans are trying to get into this. Traci comes in and is launched head first into Roode’s crotch. Eric tries a double Death Valley Driver but Roode escapes. Rollup gets two for Young. Blockbuster gets two. The ending sequence is a big mess with Traci interfering, a low blow and brass knuckles. The knuckles end Young.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty big mess. Roode has some decent moves at times but man was he boring as a heel. He’s a heel again in TNA at the moment and is the world champion. It almost has to be more interesting this time but here it just didn’t do it for me. Also, can Young do anything but be goofy?

Gail Kim comes out for the save as Young gets up. Roode accidentally hits Traci and then she gets tarred and feathered. At least take her top off first dude.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Chris Harris. Rhodes had a split personality or something which resulted in Black Reign. This was REALLY stupid.

Harris says he earned his spot and didn’t steal it from Rhodes.

Black Reign vs. Chris Harris

Reign comes in from behind to jump Harris. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this new character. He beats Harris down on the floor and busts him open quickly. Rhodes throws down a referee and uses a spike thing to the head of Harris. There goes another referee and Dustin hits Shattered Dreams and a cutter. Referee #3 comes out and is thrown down also, FINALLY drawing a DQ.

Rating: N/A. I don’t use this often but it’s right here. This was a 5 minute beating, not a match. Harris didn’t get in a single punch and I have no idea what they were going for here. Rhodes as Black Reign was just stupid as everyone knew it was an attempt to be Goldust. The hardcore/monster thing was just bad because at the end of the day, it’s Dustin Rhodes. Why are we supposed to care?

The post match beatdown goes on forever.

We recap the Steiners vs. the Dudleys. Scott got injured in Puerto Rico and legitimately nearly died. This turned him face so Rick Steiner came in for some reason, setting up this dream match that would have been one if the generations we’re 10 years apart.

The Steiners say they’ll win and ECW is referenced.

The Dudleys make fun of Puerto Ricans. Scott is going back to the hospital tonight.

Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D

Rick vs. D-Von starts us off and Rick looks BAD. Rick gets a quick powerslam and I think bites Bubba’s balls. Things break down quickly and the Steiners do their signature pose. The Dudleys start to leave and it turns into a fight on the ramp. The always annoying fans ask where their smoothie is. The Dudleys had opened a smoothie shop around this time, which every fan clearly knows about right? I mean, that couldn’t possible distract the fans right?

Scott comes in and does the push-ups on Bubba. Rick comes in and hooks a Crossface of all things on D-Von. Ray pulls Scott’s arm and the Dudley’s work over the scarred area of Scott’s back. There’s an abdominal stretch to eat up some time. Scott hits a double clothesline and it’s off to Rick who cleans a few rooms. That’s good as he needs the exercise it would seem. Scott manages the belly to belly superplex for two on D-Von. There’s the Frankensteiner but the Steiner Recliner is broken up. The Steiner Bulldog ends D-Von, who took most of the big moves in this.

Rating: C-. Yeah Scott busted out some big stuff, but for a dream match this was one of those dreams where you don’t remember it very long after you wake up. I get the idea they were going for here and the feel good moment, but did anyone want to see this match in this condition? Not really, but it could have been worse. They would do this at two more PPVs.

Angle goes to see Dr. Nash who was doing a psychiatrist thing or something at this time. Kurt cries onto the couch and looks like he’s about to have a breakdown. Nash says he’s more important than Kurt’s family. Kurt cries about being a loser and that no one loves him. This is about 30 minutes before the world title match remember. Nash tries to snap him out of it. Is there a point to this? It’s Angle vs. Joe and they have him like acting like a 13 year old girl. Nash leaves and Kurt cries some more.

Mike Tenay is in the ring and it’s Pacman Jones time. Oh get this over with. Tenay talks about how much publicity they’re getting (most of which was about how stupid this is and how Jones shouldn’t be doing this) and brings out Jones. We hear about his football stats but ignore the shooting stuff. Jones says nothing of note and sounds so bored and stupid I can’t believe it. He says he’s here to show he’s a team player.

Truth comes out to What’s Up which is still weird to hear in another company. He owns the rights to it so he can do it though so it’s legal. Just odd. Truth points out that Pacman can’t be touched while here, thereby pointing out that there is no real point to Jones being here. Truth says Jones needs to watch his back. Jones laughs and this is awful. TNA of course would give Jones a tag title in a match against Sting and Angle. This is so dumb.

We recap the six man cage match which is Team Abyss vs. Christian’s Coalition. It’s a hardcore cage match which was picked by Abyss after he won a ladder match. Team Abyss is Abyss, Sting, and wait for it…..wait for it……Test. Yes that Test, although he’s called Andrew the Punisher Martin here.

Christian says the name Doomsday Chamber of Blood sounds stupid. AJ is still a clueless idiot here.

Pacman is down in the back and bleeding. This gets a big pop from the fans.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

We recap Angle vs. Joe. The idea is Joe is X Champion and is the sole owner of the tag titles. Angle is world champion and has some Japanese title. This match is winner take all. Kurt turned into a jerk, blasting his wife and kids. His wife left him and Kurt snapped.

Joe says he’s taking the rest of what Kurt has tonight.

TNA World Title/X-Division Title/Tag Titles/IWGP World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Kurt is all messed up mentally and drops one of the belts on the way to the ring. So it’s high school sophomore Kurt here. Joe has his Samoan dancers here. Karen is nowhere to be seen at the bell. Feeling out process to start and Angle is knocked to the floor. Here are Karen and that other dude. Nothing of note so far in the opening three minutes or so.

Joe tries a sunset flip and Kurt gets his tights pulled down for a Ric Flair imitation. Karen throws champagne in Kurt’s eyes. Back in a running knee gets two for Joe. Joe uses the Facewash in the corner and Kurt is in big trouble. The American hits a German on the Samoan to put both guys down. Off to a chinlock as this isn’t much of a match. It’s certainly below what these two usually do.

Here are the rolling Germans. Joe grabs one of his own and they slug it out. Snap powerslam gets two. Kurt goes to the second rope but Joe snaps off a wicked enziguri for two. The Slam is countered so Joe slaps Angle a few times. Powerslam gets two. MuscleBuster is loaded up but Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock which is countered into the Clutch which is countered into the ankle lock again.

They speed things up and the Angle Slam gets two. The fans are finally into something on this show and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly, getting two. The moonsault misses but it would have been a headbutt at best anyway. MuscleBuster gets two. Joe grabs the Clutch again but Angle bites his fingers to break it. Off to the ankle lock which Joe counters back into the Clutch.

Angle gets his foot on the ropes and there’s the ref bump. Joe grabs the choke again and Angle taps. Ever the idiot since he’s the face here, Joe lets go of the hold since there’s no referee. Karen grabs a chair but, say it with me, IT’S A SWERVE!!!! Karen slides it to Kurt who clocks Joe with it for the pin and all the titles. Give me a break.

Rating: B. It’s good but when you have 2007 Joe vs. Angle, you’re expecting more than a Russo finish. I mean, it’s not bad but the swerve was predictable because it was exactly what you expected to happen. It was the least logical option given the storyline leading up to this so that was always going to be the ending. The first ten minutes of this were weak but the ending was a lot better, other than the swerve of course.

Overall Rating: F. Just no. I don’t care if there’s a good main event or not. This show was HORRIBLE. I haven’t been this bored and this uninterested in a show in a very long time. The Pacman Jones garbage to the SWERVE ending which takes away the last few weeks of storylines to Angle having EVERY FREAKING TITLE IN THE COMPANY was just stupid. What’s the point of any of the other matches if one guy holds every single belt? I hated this show and it ticked me off worse than any show I’ve watched in a long time.

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Destination X 2011
Date: July 10, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

It’s the X-Division show as the division that has gone from the focal point of the company is now relegated to a show that gets four weeks of buildup!  Anyway the main event is Daniels vs. AJ in a face vs. face respect match.  Daniels has had the seeds planted for a heel turn though so it’s a distinct possibility.  The six sided ring is back for tonight only and there are a lot of X-Division style matches.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how these guys have been around since the beginning and set a new standard in wrestling.  Abyss gives a voiceover about the Art of War and we get parts of Kendrick’s promo from Impact about how various religions view life and God.

Samoa Joe vs. Kazarian

Kaz goes straight at him at the bell and Joe is like dude no and chops away.  Kaz escapes the Clutch and Joe tries to fly, only to have Kaz move.  Joe doesn’t crash though and takes Kaz down on the floor.  Kaz tries to dive off the apron and Joe just steps to the side.  I love when he does that.  Back inside now and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner.  Kaz tries a springboard move and lands in an atomic drop.

Almost all Joe so far as he takes Kaz down again.  Headbutt by Joe hurts a lot more because he’s Samoan.  There’s a knee drop for two.  Joe puts him in Musclebuster position but chops him instead.  Kaz finally gets something of note with a springboard dropkick to put both guys down.  Joe hammers away but walks into a slam.  Yeah just a slam.  There’s that spinning legdrop that has a cool name that I can’t think of.

Slingshot DDT gets two for Kaz.  Joe goes up and Kaz gets an enziguri to stop him.  Kaz tries to load up the Flux Capacitor (C4) but they tumble out to the floor and Joe hits a suicide dive to take over again.  Back in and Joe hammers on the back a bit.  Kaz tries the Fade to Black but gets caught in a powerbomb for two.  Off to an STF by Joe which is transitioned into a Crossface which doesn’t work either.  Joe finally gets the choke and Kaz somehow makes the rope after being in the hold long enough to probably kill him.  Joe argues with the referee and Kaz rolls him up for the weak pin.

Rating: B-. This would have been higher with a better finish.  I mean it came out of nowhere and had zero heat.  I don’t know what Joe did to go on this losing streak and be pushed this far down the card but he must have done something akin to giving away Foley winning the title.  Anyway, good match up until the ending.  With another three minutes or so this could have been awesome.

We’re going to look back at AJ vs. Daniels throughout the years with the first one being from Unbreakable.  So I guess we’re skipping the 2-3 years of them feuding before that?

Daniels arrives.

Eric Young is at a convention of some sort and runs into Curry Man, Suicide and Sangriento signing autographs.  He wants a partner for tonight and Shark Boy shows up and will be his partner.  Curry Man can’t do it because he’s got a Fire Championship match tomorrow in Tokyo vs. Cody Deaner.  Oh dear.

Douglas Williams vs. Mark Haskins

Haskins is a British guy making his debut.  He looks like John Morrison mixed with someone far less interesting.  This is the open challenge.  Williams says the other Brits (minus his opponent) can leave.  He praises Haskins but says he’s in over his head here.  Williams is in trunks here which is kind of weird to see.  They start off fast with a pinfall reversal sequence and the overly annoying fans chant USA.

Nice technical stuff to start and Haskins sends him to the floor.  He follows him out and hammers away which doesn’t last long.  Williams takes over back inside and slaps him in the face.  Clothesline takes Haskins down again and Williams throws on an inverted Gory Special.  They slug it out with Williams taking over.  He can’t hit Rolling Chaos Theory and here comes Haskins.  Cutter gets two.

Williams goes up but jumps into a superkick.  Haskins goes up this time and then does it again.  I mean he comes off and goes back up again.  He tries a shooting star but totally misses, allowing Williams to get the rollup for the win.  Fans were REALLY not impressed there at the end with Haskins.  Williams shakes his hand post match.

Rating: C. Not bad but with all the hype Haskins got, this was pretty pedestrian.  Also not much of a match as far as an open challenge.  I’d have wanted to see more than that as far as star power but it wasn’t bad.  Just kind of there for the most part but I’ve seen far worse.  Haskins isn’t what he’s cracked up to be but he tried.

Austin Aries is with So Cal Val and says her outfit isn’t an outfit of the year candidate but he’ll give it about three and a half stars.  He talks to all the fans and all those watching on illegal streams, hoping they all choke.  Aries says he’s the best and everyone will find that out tonight.

Generation Me vs. Eric Young/Shark Boy

This is a bonus match.  I can never remember which Buck is which.  Eric and Shark Boy tag about five times before the match starts.  Ok so Jeremy is the blonde.  Got it.  Sharky stomps a mudhole in him early and hammers away in the corner.  There’s the Thesz Press and an elbow.  Eric comes in and beats on both guys a bit.  Off to Sharky who bites Max.  Yep it’s a comedy match.

Jeremy throws on a chinlock as Sharky is still ridiculously over.  Clothesline misses and Shark Boy gets a shot to the back of the head to put both guys down.  Young pulls his tights down to shift to trunks and gets the hot tag.  Gen Me takes over again and a bulldog gets two on Young.  Stunner by Shark Boy sets up a wheelbarrow suplex into a reverse neckbreaker by Young for the pin on Max.  Think Lethal’s Lethal Injection but with a wheelbarrow suplex.

Rating: C-. Just a comedy tag match to fill in some time.  I still hate what they’re doing with the midcard title as it’s being used as a comedy prop like Santino did to the IC Title a few years ago.  Not bad here but it’s really just a filler match and nothing all that great.  Shark Boy’s popularity is still strong though.

Clip of Daniels/Styles winning the tag titles.

Daniels and AJ are excited for the main event.

Zema Ion says he’ll win.

Same video on Ultimate X from Thursday.

The announcers talk for a bit to fill in time while the structure is put up.

Shannon Moore vs. Amazing Red vs. Alex Shelley vs. Robbie E

Ultimate X with the winner being #1 contender to the X Title.  Things start out quickly of course and Robbie makes a fast run for the X.  Red gets the always sweet double spin kick.  Robbie looks like he’s having a seizure or something.  Shelley and Red put Robbie on the floor before Shelley beats up Red a bit.  Shelley climbs on Moore’s shoulders but Robbie makes the stop.  Robbie is sitting in the corner and Moore is put in the Tree of Woe at the same time.

Shelley goes for the X but Red saves.  Robbie clears the ring but gets caught in the ring skirt and pummeled by Moore.  Moore and Shelley have a nice little sequence resulting in a moonsault off the stage by Moore to take Alex out.  Red is alone in the ring but Moore gets in quickly to stop him.  Shelley gets crotched and Red gets a shooting star off the shoulders of Moore in a cool spot.

Moore and Red collide so Robbie goes up now.  Red saves of course and fires off some kicks to hurt Robbie.  Robbie manages to throw Red over the top onto the other two guys to clear the ring other than himself again.  The fans are for Red here.  Robbie almost gets there but stops to fist pump, allowing Red to hit a springboard dropkick to take him down.  Moore goes up above the X and on top of the truss.  This is always scary.  I’m terrified of heights so this is really intense for me.

Moore lowers himself onto the X as Red is almost there.  Shelley is trying to catch up and Moore is down on the X now thank goodness.  Shelley kicks him down and casually wins this.  One of the fastest Ultimate X matches ever and I think that might not have been the planned finish.  Came out of nowhere with no spark at all.  Shelley looked like he was waiting on someone to stop him before he pulled it down..

Rating: C. That’s a low grade for Ultimate X, not in general.  Not much here as it was really paint by numbers out there.  I really think the ending didn’t happen as it was planned as things just kind of came to an end rather than with any kind of big spot.  Either way, not a bad match but just kind of bland, especially with no story and having an Ultimate X match for the sake of an Ultimate X match.

Clip of Daniels vs. AJ from Final Resolution 2009 which was good if I remember right.

Low Ki says he’s proven himself for his entire career and he’ll do it tonight for everyone ever told they’re too small etc.

We recap RVD vs. Jerry Lynn which is really just a respect match because they had a bunch of matches that I’ve never considered as great as most people claim they are.  This was supposed to be the main event of Hardcore Justice but Lynn hurt his back.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam

They actually say ECW.  Eh not like anyone is watching so no lawyers will hear it.  Apparently Lynn and JB used to be roommates.  That’s not something I want to picture.  Lot of stalling to start as they circle each other.  Rob grabs a headlock to start and they use a sequence they used in every ECW match they had and built on it every next match.  As always it results in a standoff.

The fans are totally split here.  They speed things up and Lynn gets taken down by a legsweep for two.  Off to an armbar as we hear about Forever Hardcore, JB’s ECW documentary.  Rob misses a kick in the corner but hits a spinwheel kick to Lynn as Lynn goes up.  Superplex is blocked and Lynn tries a tornado DDT to the apron which doesn’t work.  Back in the ring with Rob still in control.

Both guys miss a ton of stuff (due to counters, not botches) and it’s another stalemate.  Rob gets a kick to send him to the floor and teases a dive but stays in the ring.  He holds the ropes open for Jerry and actually lets him back in.  There’s the ECW chant that is required.  Lynn takes a handshake and sends Van Dam to the railing, more or less turning heel mid match.

Lynn hits a running flip off the apron to take Rob out again.  That gets two back in the ring.  Jerry hammers away some more and we hit the chinlock.  German suplex puts Van Dam down again.  Clothesline gets two.  Rob fires back with a kick to the head and Rolling Thunder for two.  Another spin kick sends Lynn to the floor again.  Rob hits the spinning legdrop to Lynn while he’s on the railing.

Slingshot legdrop gets no cover and Rob goes up.  Lynn gets up and shoves Rob off the top and we’re back on the floor again.  Been there quite often in this match.  Just as I was thinking at least this match doesn’t have a bunch of weapons, Lynn grabs a chair.  Rob tries a leg sweep but Lynn hits a Fameasser onto the chair.  Rob is busted open and Lynn gets two off of it.

Rob tries a spinning sunset flip out of the corner (think Booker T) but Lynn throws him across the ring onto the chair for two.  Rob gets a Van Daminator and hits the Five Star out of nowhere for the pin.  Has he been taking lessons from Sting in how to finish a match out of nowhere?

Rating: C+. Not a bad match but the majority of it was just like any other match.  Lynn turning mid match is definitely a good thing because face vs. face gets very boring in a hurry.  I still don’t get the appeal of this pair but I kind of liked this one better than their ECW stuff because it wasn’t as sloppy.  Started slow but it was getting much better at the end.

Jack Evans quotes Eminem and says this is his chance.

Austin Aries vs. Low Ki vs. Zema Ion vs. Jack Evans

Christy of course messes up something, in this case Aries’ entrance.  We get some clips of their qualifying matches during each guy’s entrance.  Winner gets a contract of course.  No tagging here thank goodness.  Aries gets a quick two count on Ion as the fans chant “everybody.”  Aries and Low Ki (Kaval for the uneducated) square off and Evans starts flipping.

Spin kick by Evans gets two on Ion.  Low Ki takes over again and hammers on Evans in the corner.  Aries takes Low Ki down and uses some Hogan in late 90s offense for some reason.  He beats up everyone but takes a triple dropkick to send him down.  Evans starts flipping again and hits a dropsault to get two on Ion.  Ion gets his turn to be on offense and gets a bunch of two counts.

Aries takes Ion down and has another showdown with Low Ki.  After getting attacked they both throw submissions on the guys that jumped them.  They manage to yell insults at each other while they have the holds.  Ok that was cool.  With the others outside they argue again and chop it out.  Aries loads up the brainbuster but Low Ki escapes and gets a big kick to Aries’ back.  Evans and Ion are back in now and Ion gets a knee to Evans’ face for two.  Pendulum elbow gets two for Aries.

Ion clears the ring and takes over but Aries stops a dive.  Aries tries a suicide dive but Low Ki gets a fast kick up to send him flying backwards.  Evans comes in and flips a lot but spins around too much as Aries takes him down with a spinning forarm.  The fans chant sign them all.  Ion and Aries are the only ones up right now.  Aries gets a neckbreaker on the rope to put Ion down.  Low Ki gets a cartwheel into a kick to knock Aries off the top and also get two.

Evans blocks a Warrior’s Way to Aries with a rana, getting two.  He calls for the 630 but Ion breaks it up.  Ion hits the 450 on Low Ki but Aries makes the save.  Using the distraction, Evans fires off the 630 but eats knees.  Aries hammers on Evans and hits the brainbuster on Low Ki to win the contract.  Probably the best choice.

Rating: B. Can’t really complain here as this was what the X-Division was built on.  The fans got their flips and probably the best possible outcome here with Aries arguably being the best guy here.  I’d expect to see all of them again in the future which is probably the best thing, especially with how weak the division has been lately.  Fun match.

Aries asks Val if she’s surprised.  He takes the contract and leaves.

Abyss talks about the Art of War and how he’ll keep the title.  He implies he ate his missing teeth.

We recap Abyss vs. Kendrick.  Abyss took the title in an attempt to kill the division and Kendrick is fighting for the honor and tradition of it or something.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss

Kendrick fires away at the legs to start and that gets him nowhere.  A cross body is totally no sold which is a cool visual.  Kendrick hammers away but none of it’s working.  Chokeslam is teased but Kendrick bites the fingers to escape.  Kendrick is sent to the floor as Abyss asks if this is it.  Fan: “Nobody likes you Abyss!”  Abyss keeps hammering back in the ring and stops to read a few pages.

Kendrick keeps kicking at the legs and that doesn’t work at all.  Instead Abyss hammers him down in the corner as this has more or less been one sided.  Time for more reading!  A right hand makes him drop the book and apparently that was enough to open him up.  Abyss is all ticked off and Kendrick is able to fight back, hitting a dropkick to send him to the floor.

Back in the ring and Kendrick gets a missile dropkick for two.  Sliced Bread is countered into Shock Treatment which gets two.  Ref is bumped in a really stupid looking spot.  Sliced Bread hits but there’s no referee.  Here’s Bischoff to solid heat.  He yells at Kendrick who decks him.  Immortal runs out and the beating is on.

The X guys run out and get tossed with ease.  They get Kendrick on his own and here are more X guys to fight Immortal.  They clear the ring as I REALLY hope the match doesn’t continue after this.  The ring is cleared out and a chokeslam is countered into a victory roll for Kendrick to win the title.  You know, because the referee didn’t notice FIFTEEN PEOPLE IN THE RING.  Confetti goes off but we’ve got another match to go because Brian Kendrick can’t win a main event match.

Rating: C. Match was pretty boring and despite one of the dumbest moments I’ve ever seen and that this match should have ended the show PERIOD, this was a solid feel good moment and absolutely had to happen on this show.  Otherwise this wouldn’t have made a bit of sense.  It worked though and while the match was boring, the ending worked, lack of common sense aside.

Video on AJ vs. Daniels which I’m sure you’ve gotten the point of in all the talking they’ve done already.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Apparently the winner is best X-Division Wrestler EVER, despite AJ’s resume blowing Daniels’ away.  Christy does big match intros again.  Apparently these two named their kids after each other.  That’s borderline creepy.  The latest chant: “Wrestling. YAY!  Hulk Hogan.  Boo!”  Give me a break.  Lots of basic back and forth stuff to start with them knowing each other really well being the idea.

AJ works the arm a bit and they speed it up quickly.  Both guys work the arm and it comes down to another stalemate after about 5 minutes.  They shake hands and AJ puts another armbar on.  The fans are split again.  They speed things up and Daniels hits the floor.  They have a TON of time here so this is going to be a very slow build.  Daniels keeps trying to speed things up but AJ keeps going with the armbar.

They slowly start cranking things up as Daniels takes over.  He works AJ over for a good while but AJ sends him to the floor, adding in a plancha that looked almost like Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell.  Back inside now and AJ hammers away again.  AJ works on the arm AGAIN but at least is using a Fujiwara Armbar here.  Helps a lot when they mix things up.  Out to the apron and AJ counters into a suplex on the apron.

Daniels takes over on the floor.  Back in he chops away at the back and gets a neckbreaker for two.  Pinfall reversal sequence ends in AJ being caught in a Crossface.  Death Valley Driver gets two and Daniels is getting frustrated.  They chop it out and AJ hits an enziguri to put both guys down.  AJ slips off the top and crashes down, letting Daniels get two.  Daniels goes up but gets caught in a Torture Rack which AJ spins out into a powerbomb for two.

Bad Downward Spiral by Daniels sets up the Koji Clutch to AJ.  They’re getting tired here.  AJ makes the rope as this probably needs to end soon.  Daniels uses his variety of strikes but still can’t pin him.  The tape finally comes off Daniels’ arms which is good as it had been dangling for awhile.  AJ snap mares him off the top for two.  He can’t get Angel’s Wings or the Clash (AJ can’t that is) so Daniels hits an STO and release Rock Bottom but the BME eats boot.

Styles Clash out of nowhere gets two as this is nearly half an hour long now.  Angel’s Wings gets two and Daniels is ticked.  They fight to the corner but Daniels can’t hit the Angel’s Wings from up there.  AJ busts out the Spiral Tap but it doesn’t look as good as it usually does.  That’s enough for the pin though at nearly half an hour.

Rating: B. Another good match here but I don’t think it got as epic as they were hoping.  It was one of the longest matches I can ever remember in TNA but at the same time they got sloppy later on in it.  It was good, but I still think the title match should have closed the show.  I’ve never been a big fan of these matches but they’re usually pretty good.  Good choice to end the show, but it’s not like it means anything more than bragging rights.  Also this went too long and the fans were losing interest late in it.

Daniels won’t shake his hand post match.  Ok yes he will.  And that’s it.

Overall Rating: B. This is a very subjective grade and I won’t defend it that much because some people will love it, some will hate it and some will find it at every point in between.  The idea was an all X-Division PPV and they certainly did that.  However, the first probably hour or so was just average at best.  The three main matches delivered, but the match order didn’t work for me.

With the story coming in being Bischoff wanting to kill the X-Division, having the X-Division overcome him should have been the main event and closing scene of the show.  The fourway was good and what the X-Division is built upon.  The main event was good as well and even very good at times.  All around this show worked and was a great showcase of the X Division, but it’s not a blow away show like I think they were shooting for.

The main problem is that this isn’t a show that I would predict meaning much.  It’ll probably be referenced for a few weeks and some of the guys will say how they showed how awesome it was, and then the division will go right back to what it was: a title match thrown on here and there and an occasional bonus match on PPV as an opener.  That’s the nature of the beast though and it’s more or less reality.  That’s probably what hurts this the most, but there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Results

Kazarian b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

Douglas Williams b. Mark Haskins – Pin after a missed shooting star press

Eric Young/Shark Boy b. Generation Me – Wheelbarrow suplex into a neckbreaker to Max Buck

Alex Shelley b. Robbie E, Shannon Moore and Amazing Red – Shelley pulled down the X

Rob Van Dam b. Jerry Lynn – Five Star Frog Splash

Austin Aries b. Zema Ion, Jack Evans and Low Ki – Brainbuster to Low Ki

Brian Kendrick b. Abyss – Victory Roll

AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Spiral Tap

Destination X 2010
Date: March 21, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

So the focus is back on the X Division here as we have Ultimate X and a tag team ladder match to take a look at this time. I watched this show live and I liked what I saw for the most part. We have AJ vs. Abyss in the main event which if it’s anything like their cage match about 5 years ago it will be great. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The opening video is thankfully about the X Division with Daniels talking about how awesome he is. And now we’re done with that and talking about the rest of the card. Of course it’s over the top since this is a TNA video.

Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red vs. Christopher Daniels

Winner is #1 contender to the X Division Title. Oh and it’s a ladder match. This was when Daniels had some weird thing on where it wrapped around his neck and then down to his arms. It just looked weird. Make your own Antonio Banderas jokes. We get going and Kendrick hits the floor. Smart. Red launches himself of the ropes to hit everyone not named Kendrick. There’s your first ladder.

Everyone goes for the contract in a row but no one gets it. I love that STO Daniels does. Taz knowing the real name of it might be the only thing worth anything from him. The ladder has an ad for TNAwrestling.com. There’s something amusing about that. TNA gets the idea here at least: have a spot fest. That’s what a match like this is supposed to be and that’s what they’re giving us.

Red hits a SWEET hurricanrana to the floor. In a spot that I thought was stupid Kazarian has Red in position for the Flux Capactior on the ladder. The setup is like a Rock Bottom. His left arm is free. WHY DIDN’T HE GRAB THE PAPER??? He makes up for it a bit with a slingshot Fameasser to a ladder on Daniels. Nice. Kendrick gets his fingers slammed in a ladder. FREAKING OW!

Daniels and Kaz are the only ones left in there. And there’s Kendrick so never mind. Crowd is totally behind Kendrick here in case you’re wondering. That five clap sequence the audience does needs to freaking die. It truly does. In a nice spot, Red goes for a springboard something but jumps into a Diamond Cutter from Kazarian. I like it.

Ladder number two is in and Red and Daniels have a race. Kazarian does the Shelton Spider-Man spot to get onto the ladders and knocks Daniels off to win the stupid thing.

Rating: B+. It was a spot fest and that’s all it had to be. This was a great way to open the show and the match was solid. Even in a TNA crowd you have to get them fired up and what better way than this? Kaz will win the title soon and after this he deserves it. Fun match.

We talk about A.J. vs. Abyss for no apparent reason. I can’t get over this ring thing. It’s just idiotic to say the least. And here’s Ric Flair for no reason at all. Chelsea brings him out in a wheelchair. To the shock of no one, Flair is ticked off. I know some people love this, but it’s saddening to see him look like this much of a joke anymore.

He was so great and now he’s just a blithering old man. The ask your mother jokes are still kind of funny though. Seriously though, he’s just a crazy man that won’t let go of the past now.

We cut to Hogan and Abyss and Hogan likes him a lot. Shocking isn’t it? It continues to confuse me that he’s a former world champion here and all of a sudden he’s’ never accomplished anything. The ring is just stupid. Is it supposed to make him super powered or something? He looks like someone attacked him with ketchup and mustard. Bischoff comes in and he has limited hair now. If nothing else the jokes Abyss and Hogan make are kind of funny.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Daffney

Tara is just made of hotness. Apparently Daffney is the “challengemer”. Sure why not Tenay. The zombie hot thing is hit or miss for me with her. She does the splits for her entrance which is unique apparently. I guess if Melina is hurt that makes it unique. Tara goes straight for her and we’re off and running early. Tara’s shirt comes off and I start smiling. At least she didn’t do the dance for the moonsault this time.

It’s ok when she’s dominating but not when she’s ticked off. Tara busts out a Tarantula which at least fits really well. Daffney hooks a messed up submission hold which is unique. This is a bit sloppy but it’s very nice to see women having a match where it looks like they know what they’re doing and you have a legitimate flow to the match rather than just moving from spot to spot, most of which would be blown.

Daffney doesn’t get to wrestle much but she’s not bad when she does. Widow’s Peak ends it. Daffney steals the spider afterwards so the feud continues.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. It’s nothing great, but it was perfectly watchable. Daffney surprised me in there and Tara of course is dependable so that works out fine. I wish they didn’t do the spider thing as there’s no real point to continuing this since Tara got a clean pin but whatever.

Brutus Magnus is changing his name to just Magnus. This turns into a discussion of Frankenstein. Sure why not.

Global Title: Magnus vs. Rob Terry

Terry is getting the Goldberg push which is fine I guess. It keeps his matches short if nothing else. It never ceases to amaze me that people talk about what an alternative to WWE TNA is supposed to be and here we have a not incredibly talented musclehead guy getting a mega push. A spinebuster ends this in like a minute and a half.

Rating: N/A. The Goldberg push continues, which I can’t say I have many problems with. This was a total non-threat so that’s all fine and good.

We get a highlight package on Ultimate X with a bunch of people talking about how dangerous it is. We’ll ignore that none of them have ever been in one of these matches.

The Machine Guns talk about how great they are and say Generation Me need their Hardy Boys Starter Kit. That’s rather amusing and the crowd laughed hard at it.

Taz says he was looking at the structure earlier when he was hanging in the rafters. Do I even need to make fun of that?

Ultimate X: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

You think this could be awesome? Yeah me too. Penzer messes up a bit on his opening line. Ok one is Max and one is Jeremy. I’ll never remember that but whatever. BIG pop for the Guns. Seriously, how have these two never been tag champions? This is Sabin’s 13th Ultimate X match out of 20 that have happened. That’s INSANE. The Guns immediately hit the corners which is rather stupid but whatever.

Don’t expect a ton of play by play or criticism over psychology here. It’s just not going to happen. In a painful looking spot, One of the Bucks gets their hair pulled around the structure. FREAKING OW MAN! Ok Max has the headband. Got it. I think we got a Team 3D chant in there. Why? What the freaking heck? Who cares as Shelley hits a sweet looking dive to shut the fans up.

There is little more fun to see than precision double teaming. That’s what the golden age of tag wrestling was predicated on and these guys bring that back. Jeremy is freaking entertaining. He hits a springboard modified X-Factor and immediately hits a moonsault to the floor. Sweetness. They do something smart and say no replays until the match is over. That’s a good idea.

Jeremy gets up on the X but Sabin makes the stop. Shelley actually tickles Jeremy to knock him down. Well whatever works I guess. The fans think this is awesome. Now if only they were paying to see it. Everyone goes on one part of the X and they all do the leg hook thing but everyone falls. Kick-o-rama begins and it’s sweet. The speed of these guys is epic.

In a SWEET spot, Max is in the Tree of Woe and Jeremy takes a belly to belly into him. And in a STUPID move, the Guns unhook Max. Seriously, why in the world would you do that? It makes NO sense. One guy is on the floor and the other is stuck in the corner. One guy plays guard and the other goes up. Whatever though as we got a cool double team out of it. Sabin and Jeremy go up but down comes Jeremy and the Guns win it!

Rating: A-. Just a sweet match here. Much like the TLC matches, this wasn’t about wrestling but about high flying spectacles which is just fine. These are designed to have the guys showcase themselves and that’s what they did here. Very fun match and worth finding a copy of for sure.

The highlight package is great of course.

We recap the Band vs. Nash and Young. Seriously, could they make Nash’s heel turn more obvious? I certainly don’t think so. Oddly enough Nash throws a left handed punch in the video. That’s rather odd.

Hall and Nash say they’re ready and use the term Wolfpack a lot. Is this a Hangover commercial? WOW that was weak. Hall is in passable shape here which is shocking. Waltman steals my Crosby and Stills joke so I hate him even more now.

Scott Hall/Sean Waltman vs. Kevin Nash/Eric Young

The heels get no music. Ok then. Waltman is named Syxx-Pac here but that’s just not being written. Hall has a partner yet he’s a lone wolf. Figure that one out. I mean why would he be channeling Barry Windham? There’s a sign all night that says PG Sucks. That line and theory just amuses me. The Survey says the fans want Hall and Waltman to have contracts.

Why does that not surprise me? Young is just billed from Canada. Is that the best they can do? Pac and Young start us out so Pac will be bearable here. He’s always been better against small guys. I just have no reason to believe he’s this giant killer that everyone swears he is. Hall comes in and does all his old stuff. Seriously I’m sitting here calling every move he’s going to do down to the second.

Young and Pac botch the heck out of a backdrop. Waltman hits a decent over the top rope dive. No Nash at all yet as they have the whole thing so telegraphed it’s pathetic. Seriously, this is boring simply because we know what’s coming. Waltman sprays paint in Young’s eyes. Yeah I’m sure the referee sees nothing odd about that at all since he was with Nash the whole time. Nash gets the tag and there it is.

Even Taz sounds bored with it. All three finishers hit and it’s over. They do the paint outline of Young on the mat which makes the whole thing look stupid. We even get the Wolfpack theme song minus the lyrics. We’ll ignore the Young push being crushed for three old guys that were a unit 12 years ago.

Rating: D. Seriously, this was so boring. There was no point to the match as it was all about the turn that we all knew was coming. When a TNA crowd sounds bored out of their mind, you know you screwed up something bad. Also, it was so much of a swerve that they had the Wolfpack music not only ready but remixed without the lyrics. That’s a REAL swerve.

Angle burns a picture of Anderson. Ok then.

X-Division Title: Shannon Moore vs. Doug Williams

So on a show where the X-Division is being highlighted, the X Title match is going on about halfway through the show? Sure why not. Why is Moore getting PPV time when Hardy and Van Dam and Pope and Sting aren’t again? Has Moore ever won anything? Also, why do we need both him and Jesse Neal? I seriously couldn’t tell them apart if I had to. Moore apparently reads from the book of DILLIGAF.

Wow that’s idiotic but at least it’s something minor. We get a Cravate so I’m happy. It’s a weird kind of side headlock that Chris Hero uses a lot in case you’re wondering. It looks like you’re setting for a snapmare but you never flip the guy over. Williams is a good striker if nothing else. The crowd finally wakes up a bit. Williams reaches under the ring and gets a brick which gets the win. There needs to be an official Under the Ring Checker.

Seriously, people just throw EVERYTHING under there. Moore is allegedly bleeding but it doesn’t look like much blood to me. Post match we get a semi-shoot promo from Williams where he whines about how the division isn’t about wrestling anymore but high fliers so he’s going to change that. He goes and steals a woman’s purse to put lipstick on Moore. Ok then. The fans chant for RVD and no one comes of course. I would argue Hogan and his booking are what’s wrong with the division but that’s just me.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here as not only did no one care but the match wasn’t that good. Seriously, what in the world is the appeal of Shannon Moore? I seriously don’t get it. He never wins anything, his look is stupid and he’s nothing special in the ring. Total filler match.

We recap Morgan and Hernandez vs. Beer Money. This was just after Beer Money turned heel on television while complaining about not being on television. I flat out do not like this angle at all as it’s making the tag titles look stupid kind of. If you insist on turning Morgn heel, at least wait awhile first.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Hernandez vs. Beer Money

Sweet goodness have the champions fallen far. I like the opening of Beer Money’s theme song if nothing else. Dang that outline looks stupid. Morgan and Roode start us out. And so much for that as Hernandez is tagged in maybe 10 seconds into the match. How did they miss the boat with Hernandez?

So basically the champions can’t be hurt and the challengers have zero chance here. Ah ok that’s better as Hernandez gets beaten down. Hernandez holds Storm up in a suplex for about 25 seconds. That’s very scary. So basically Morgan is cocky and comes in when Hernandez has beaten the other guys down.

Morgan blocks a big dive from Hernandez and then the Supermex gets hit with an enziguri, Once he remembers to sell it, Roode goes way up in my eyes with a Blockbuster. I love that move. After more arguing, the size and power are too much and a modified Dominator ends this. Morgan kicks Hernandez afterwards.

Rating: D+. This was all angle and not much about the match at all. That’s ok I guess as it set up a bigger one the next night. This was ok but nothing great at all. Beer Money isn’t as good as people say they are but they’re ok. I still don’t like the champions being together but that’s neither here nor there I guess. Decent but I wanted it to end.

We recap Angle vs. Anderson and their game of pass the medal. The promos have been good but it’s been repetitive with the medal being the focus of the thing over and over again.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

We have 53 minutes left so this is going to be LONG. We start off slow which is odd as they’ve fought before but that’s fine. The crowd is clearly not as hot as they were during the ladder or Ultimate X match. That’s not particularly a good thing but to be fair it means they put on a good match earlier. Much like he did with Shane at KOTR 2001, Angle does the volunteering to let Anderson get a free hold on him.

Naturally, Angle wins here. Angle is outwrestling him here which is what you would expect of him obviously. Dang the bald one can throw a punch when he wants to. Anderson works on the arm but that doesn’t work very well. Ok maybe it does. It’s so hard to tell at times. This has slowed down a lot and it’s not helping much at all. If nothing else Angle can still do a decent belly to belly. Naturally the Angle Slam gets two.

When was the last time that actually worked? Mic Check and tights get two. Angle busts out a freaking frog splash and it wasn’t bad at all. There goes the referee as Anderson hits a belly to back suplex. Oh ok he spun about two inches so it’s an Angle Slam. Got it. Angle gets his medal back. Yeah I don’t care at this point either. He then does the same thing that he criticized Anderson for over the last few months.

Oh him being a face makes it ok though right? That’s the Hulk Hogan principle I believe. Ankle Lock ends it a few seconds later. Anderson was more or less worthless here. He was ok looking but this was very one sided. Anderson blasts the crowd afterwards. He says his name about ten times so this has to be a good promo right?

Rating: C-. Not bad, but really Anderson never had any real chance to win. Like I said, he looked ok but there was zero drama here. That’s never a good thing, especially in a long match like this. Either way, not bad or anything, just not that exciting.

We recap the Abyss/AJ match, which is perhaps the weakest main event I could think of. I mean really, did ANYONE buy Abyss possibly winning the title here? I never once did as they’re going to likely give it to Pope at Lockdown. Basically Hogan gave up his HOF ring and it’s made Abyss powerful or something. Oh and he chokeslammed Flair through the ramp.

AJ says he’s not afraid and Abyss is stupid.

Abyss says he has a ring and thanks Hogan. Remember: Abyss was nothing without Hogan. This goes on way too long and ends with Hogan catchphrases.

TNA World Title: A.J. Styles vs. Abyss

Seriously, the Hogan worship needs to END. This is idiotic to say the least. Oh look: let’s take someone not like Hogan at all and turn him into someone that does Hogan things. It’s just stupid. He’s a monster. Let him be a monster! Flair and Chelsea are here too. Even big match intros aren’t helping this much. Yeah the red and yellow spots on his shirt are just idiotic looking.

Abyss does something SMART and jumps AJ during the intros. That’s a good and simple idea that works. We’re on the ramp now and Flair goes after Abyss. Seriously, what is he going to do? Remember, he’s in a wheelchair. See this is what makes AJ’s heel turn stupid: he can work great matches ON HIS OWN. AJ is a great wrestler and was world champion. WHY WOULD HE NEED A MENTOR???

That’s never been explained I don’t think. He’s the best in the world. What can Flair help him do? Become the best on Venus too? I mean if you factor Flair completely out of this, it’s a solid match based on AJ’s abilities alone. I just do not see what Flair adds to this at all. The other issue: Styles’ offense is based on face style moves. Seriously, he fights like a face does with the high flying stuff and all the kicks.

That’s what makes little sense to me. AJ works on the leg which makes perfect sense at least. The springboard forearm is caught. I love how AJ is outside in position for a springboard and Taz says he thinks he’s going for a springboard. Wow indeed. Pele brings AJ back into control. Question: WHERE IN THE WORLD IS JOE??? Seriously, we haven’t heard about him in like 2 months now and everyone is just not talking about him?

That makes no sense but whatever. It’s TNA so there we are. AJ hits Spiral Tap. CAN’T YOU SEE HOW EVIL HE IS??? The fans chant for the move and I shake my head at how they messed this up. Black Hole Slam gets two with almost no heat. And Flair maces the referee. A belt shot puts AJ down but it’s HOGAN FOR THE SAVE BABY!!! He brings Hebner with him so there’s your new referee I guess.

AJ continues to fail as a heel as he hits a springboard 450 splash but Abyss GIMMICK INFRINGEMENTS UP! Abyss chokeslams him through the ring and Hebner throws the match out. So let me get this straight. Abyss just crushed AJ after Hardy beat AJ on Impact and Pope gets AJ at the next PPV. Why is AJ being bought as champion again? Flair gets mace from Hogan.

Yeah the old men wandered out here looking for the Country Kitchen Buffet and wind up in the ring. And we get the idiotic ending to the show as they mace and punch Wolfe who also ran down and he stumbles over Flair who is on all fours to fall into the hole in the ring. WOW. Hogan leads Abyss around the ring like a canine and that’s it.

Rating: C-. The match itself was good, but the ending is straight up stupid. Seriously, they did a comedy sketch to end the PPV. Also, if AJ is more or less dead, why isn’t Abyss champion? Why does that make it a no contest? The whole thing just made limited sense to me. Also, AJ wrestles like a face, period. There is no reason for him to act like a heel at all. The ending here is the main issue though.

That and the lack of drama to it. Not once in the buildup or in the match did I expect Abyss to win, period. I think Pope gets the title at Lockdown. So what if his hype is mostly gone now due to the long delay? Since when does a champion need people to care about him right? Anyway enough of a tangent. This was an ok match with a flat out stupid ending. Don’t do this again TNA.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show in two parts. The first half or hour and a half or so is great stuff. The second half, as in everything after Ultimate X, is just weak. There is not a single match on there that got me going or was really that good. The crowd is noticeably weaker too and for a TNA crowd, that’s saying a lot. After this show, I realized the issue: nothing of note happened here.

No titles changed hands, a lot of the feuds are unresolved, we knew MCMG and Kazarian would be winning their matches and AJ looks weak. Tell me, what was settled here? If we’re supposed to wait for Lockdown to do that, why have this show at all? It’s not a bad show by any means. It’s just uneventful. There are two GREAT matches on it which is why this is a good show.

There are passable matches here, no doubt. But like I said, nothing definitive happened here. Anderson and Daffney are going to keep feuding with the respective faces, Abyss deserves another shot, and the tag champions still don’t get along. What came from this show? Oh wait: Nash joined the Band in the most predictable segment this year.

That’s the big thing from this show right? Again, what came out of this show at all, because I’m missing it. Check out the X Division gimmick matches, but other than that, you’ll miss nothing off this show at all.

I’m going to try to do this either the Friday or Saturday before every PPV.

What do expect for Destination X?

My thoughts:

The last few weeks of Impact have been far better than usual and that’s mainly due to the better pacing of the show.  At the same time the majority of the focus being on the X-Division and random talent that hasn’t been seen in a long time if ever at all.  This should be a fun show, but what I wonder is what’s going to happen once this show passes.  I’d bet they’re just going to go back to business as usual after mentioning Destination X and how awesome it is a few times, which is annoying but probably the best idea overall.  As for match predictions, I’ll take the following:  Abyss over Kendrick  Styles over Daniels  Joe over Kaz (not sure on this one at all)  RVD over Lynn  Zima Ion to win the contract (total hunch here)   As for the fourway, I’ll take Shelley with no real reason.

Your thoughts?

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 23, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s likely another show building towards Destination X here which means we’ll probably get another triple threat with guys brought in.  That’s a cool idea as it lets you see guys you usually wouldn’t see having some pretty fun matches.  Other than that, probably some more stuff about the Bound For Glory Series, which is still a long way off from the final goal.  Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with clips of last week’s two big moments in the form of the Jarrett/Angle parking lot fight and Sting going all psycho on Hogan.

And here’s Jarrett again who wants to be part of the Bound For Glory Series (which he says hasn’t started yet for some reason).  Eric says no because of the Network and says Jarrett needs to go to Mexico.  Actually this past Saturday he won the AAA World Title so this fits rather well.  Eric says Jeff needs to lead the Immortal takeover of Mexico.  Wonder how long Jeff will be gone.

Here’s Eric in the arena and he wants to talk to Sting.  Here’s the Scorpion enthusiast himself.  Eric wants to know why Sting thought he could get away with what he tried to do to Hogan last week on Eric’s show.  Eric yells at Sting a lot and then Sting goes into an almost Doink voice, saying Eric hurt his feelings and cursed at him.  Sting is playing up the psycho side here, saying he’s going to snap Eric’s neck.  He calls Eric a con artist and says that Bischoff is a virus that has infected Hogan but that’s going to change.

Eric says that’ll never happen because it’ll always be Hogan and Bischoff.  Sting is going to have to change because of Bischoff though.  He may have a rematch on the 14^th but Eric can change that.  Tonight it’s Sting vs. Abyss and on the line is….nothing apparently.  Sting goes back into his Jim Carrey voice here and says that it’s Eric rather than Sting who has a price to pay.  Sting hits him in the corner and more or less struts around the ring.  Death Drop leaves Bischoff laying.  He gets the makeup treatment and the Scorpion as we go to a break with the hold still on.

Apparently there have been some BFG Series matches on house shows, including Gunner pinning AJ clean.  Morgan, AJ, RVD, Gunner and Scott Steiner all have seven points and everyone else has zero.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Bully Ray

This has the potential to be pretty cool or a trainwreck.  This is your big slugout that you would expect here.  Ray controls to start but misses a splash in the corner.  Steiner takes over with some solid shots and hits the pushups after the elbow.  Ray gets a boot up in the corner to shift the momentum again and three covers off a right hand.  Ray rams in the forearm smashes in a crossface style and loads up the Bubba Bomb.  Steiner escapes the full nelson though to a big face chant.

Steiner comes back with the suplexes and there goes the referee.  Overhead belly to belly puts Ray down and it’s time for the Recliner.  No referee though, even though it’s that horrid submission of his.  At least pull back on the thing Scott.  Ray taps but there’s no referee.  Scott goes to check on him instead of keeping the hold on until he gets back, allowing Ray to find a chain to hit Steiner in the throat with a chain for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. Not bad at all for a big man brawl here for the most part.  These two would be infinitely more entertaining in a promo than a match but this wasn’t that bad.  Scott was more or less the face by default here and the match wasn’t that bad at all.  Granted I had low expectations coming in for it but the match wasn’t bad at all.

Bischoff tells Gunner and Abyss to take care of Sting when Anderson comes in.  Anderson gets yelled at for not helping Bischoff and Eric says he won the title for Sting for him.  Anderson says he was having a burger during the attack.  Eric yells at Anderson and says come over to Immortal and Anderson stands there.  Eric says think about it and isn’t happy at all.

Steiner is looking for Ray in the back.

Zema Ion, more commonly known as Shiima Xion of various indy companies, is in an X Division Showcase match tonight.

Miss Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Jackie Moore/ODB

Velvet says this was supposed to be no holds barred but they can’t do that because their opponents aren’t under contract or something.  Ok apparently it is no holds barred.  They start in the aisle and it’s a big brawl.  Apparently this is before the bell.  Velvet and ODB get in the ring as we go to a break before a bell rings.

Back and I guess the bell rang during the break.  Jackie is hammering on Tessmacher but Miss manages to break free, only for Velvet to not be there.  ODB hammers on her a bit but Tessmacher gets a spear of all things to break through and get the tag.  Velvet cleans house and everything breaks down.  The referee gets taken down again and Jackie kicks Velvet between the legs for the pin at 3:50 shown.

Rating: D. The Knockouts division is so horrible anymore and the talent just isn’t working most of the time.  Jackie is completely worthless and I’ve yet to see anyone that actually cares about her in the slightest.  ODB isn’t much better and while Velvet and Tessmacher look great, they’re better suited as being there looking hot rather than being in the ring.  Not much here at all in another sloppy mess of a match.

Federico Palacios is also in the X Division match tonight.  He’s more known as Azrieal.

Tara has Madison at the PPV and Madison comes up to yell at her.  Madison gets rammed into the wall and Tara tells her to never touch her again.

Roode still isn’t cleared to wrestle even though he’s in the BFG Series.

Steiner storms into the Immortal locker room and swings a chain around.  He’s freaking again.  Ray says Steiner would have done the same thing.  Ray offers Steiner a spot in Immortal.  Steiner throws the chain again and says he’ll think about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money

Roode vs. Crimson start us off and I guess Roode’s arm is fine now.  He hits the Hennig neck snap but Crimson runs him down with ease.  Roode is holding his arm now and Storm tags himself in.  Off to Morgan who can’t hit the elbows in the corner.  Codebreaker and a neckbreaker combine for two for Storm.  Discus lariat gets two for Morgan, setting up the elbows in the corner and the tag off to Crimson.

Next week it’s AJ vs. Gunner.  Crimson beats on Storm for awhile until Storm hits a Backstabber to bring in Roode.  Morgan is in also and the shoulder looks better.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Roode goes after the leg.  Forearm puts Morgan down but he jumps into a chokeslam attempt.  Roode goes for a Fujiwara Armbar out of a counter but it’s broken up by Crimson.

Double suplex puts the red guy down and there’s the shout.  For once though they get caught, in this instance by a double clothesline from Morgan.  Roode gets a Blockbuster but his arm is hurt again.  Storm gets tossed to the floor by Roode onto Crimson but walks into the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 6:15.  I think only Morgan gets the points but it’s not really clear.

Rating: B-. Pretty good tag match here with the champs being messed up because of Roode’s arm injury.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with the arm injury and if they’re going to drop the titles because of it.  I liked this though and I wish they’d get Beer Money out there more, but only once Roode is healthy.

Yeah only Morgan gets points.

Abyss says he follows Sun-Tzu and Bischoff.  Tonight Bischoff told him to take out Sting so that’s what he’ll do.

Eric Young is looking for another TV Star, apparently Popeye.

Here’s AJ to talk about Destination X.  He has an idea for a match at the X-Division PPV.  AJ says he’ll be at that show because the X-Division is his roots.  He lists off some of the great X guys over the years….and here’s Joe.  He says that AJ was the pioneer but it didn’t get taken seriously until Joe got here.  AJ is the heart of the division but Joe gave the division its balls.  Since there needs to be the third guy to make this complete, here’s Daniels to the Fourtune music.  Daniels suggests AJ vs. himself and it’s accepted.  No Joe?  Apparently not.

Kaz isn’t thrilled with what Daniels just did.  Daniels leaves and Joe pops up, making fun of Fourtune.  Kaz says stay out of it and gets beaten up.  Joe drilling him and walking away is great.

Dakota Darsow, the last guy in the X match, is the son of Barry Darsow, more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man.

Federico Palacios vs. Dakota Darsow vs. Zema Ion

Darsow is sent to the floor quickly as we actually get a graphic saying who is in what color.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in a wrestling match.  Ion gets a DDT on Palacios for two.  More fast paced stuff here but less high flying than last week.  Just as I say that Ion hits a missile dropkick to Darsow to send him to the floor.  Palacios is very fast.  Darsow pops back in and takes both guys down to take over again.

Palacios hits a huge suicide dive onto Darsow and Zema mosly misses a corkscrew plancha, mostly landing on the head of Palacios with his feet.  That looked sick.  Back in the ring Darsow hits a moonsault but Palacios hits a double stomp to the back of Darsow to break it up.  Superplex is broken up and Darsow kicks Ion on the top.  Zema knocks him off the top and a 450 ends this at 4:42.

Rating: C+. Not as good as last week as some of the botches hurt it, but still a pretty good match.  The 450 was pretty awesome to end it, but I’d like to know some more about these guys rather than just saying they’re awesome and X-Division guys.  Not bad and more or less what the X-Division is supposed to be: insane stuff with flips and dives to fire up the crowd.

RVD says he wants to be at the X-Division PPV and Jerry Lynn comes in.  Lynn says they were both X-Division before there was one and then leaves.

Winter vs. Mickie James

This is a street fight and it already was going on in the back when we came back from a break.  Winter is dominating and whips Mickie with a leather belt.  They head out to the stage where Mickie gets the belt away from her.  Thesz Press off part of the set takes over for Micke and they roll down the ramp.  Mickie hits a rana on the floor and Winter is in trouble.  Into the ring and Mickie hits a missile dropkick, but here’s Angelina to hit her backbreaker.  It’s behind the referee’s back but it’s a street fight so it’s not like it would have mattered anyway.  That gets the pin at 4:40 shown.  Angelina is smiling post match.

Rating: C-. Just another brawl with the Knockouts that is probably going to set up a title match later.  That’s fine and good, but what was the point in this being a street fight?  Shouldn’t the regular match set up the gimmick match?  Anyway, nothing of note here and two street fights with Knockouts in a night is too much for my taste.  Better than the first one by about a mile though.

Abyss vs. Sting

Non-title of course here.  This actually gets big match intros but Sting jumps Abyss before his intro.  Sting manages to run Abyss over with a shoulder block which is a rare sight.  They head to the floor off a Sting clothesline and Abyss takes over.  He throws on an armbar which is kind of a weird choice but it doesn’t last long enough to think about it.

Sting gets a running start but runs into the chokeslam for two.  Abyss picks up the Art of War book and hits Sting with it for a not DQ.  And there’s a barbed wire glove.  Sting avoids it for a bit and hits the Splash in the corner.  Death Drop hits for two.  Sting gets the glove and pops Abyss in the head with it to draw blood for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. Fine for a quick main event here that tied into the opening of the show and played into Sting’s crazy stuff.  Not a horrible match or anything but just kind of there.  The ending is fine as Sting going insane is better than an actual ending in a match that Sting doesn’t really need to win.  This was fine.

Post match Sting hits Abyss like 5 times as Anderson comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Wow I must be running a fever.  First and foremost here: the pacing was the best it’s been here in forever.  There were no 20-30 minute stretches with nothing but talking.  It helps a lot to have a match to break the boredom, even if it’s just something quick and relatively pointless.  That’s one of Impact’s biggest issues and it’s very refreshing to see it not happen for once.  Destination X was built up pretty well and the show wasn’t boring for the most part.  I liked this quite well and dare I say it, best wrestling show so far this week.

Results

Bully Ray b. Scott Steiner – Ray pinned Steiner after a chain shot to the throat

Jackie/ODB b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher – Jackie pinned Sky after a low blow

Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Beer Money – Carbon Footprint to Roode

Zema Ion b. Dakota Darsow and Federico Palacios – 450 Splash to Darsow

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after a backbreaker from Angelina Love

Abyss b. Sting via DQ when Sting hit Abyss with a barbed wire glove

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 26, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the second week of Impact Wrestling and hopefully tonight we’ll have a bit more actual wrestling rather than last week when there was as much on a regular episode of Impact.  Anyway we’re also going to have some more advance in the Sting vs. Anderson feud as last week Anderson laid the champion out.  Also if I remember right we’re going to get Hogan and Foley again tonight which is rather fun.  Anyway, let’s get to it.

An opening graphic says in memory of Randy Savage.  Classy.

Sting talks about being champion and we get a clip of Anderson jumping him last week as the old Sting.

We actually start with a match, called a tag team competition by Christy.

Tommy Dreamer/Bully Ray vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

This is a street fight.  Tonight there’s going to be something called the Scorpion Sitdown which is Sting’s interview segment.  AJ is still in a neckbrace so he can barely move here.  This is a smaller one though and looks like a big pad.  We start on the floor in a big brawl.  Ray vs. Daniels is going on at ringside while Dreamer and AJ head into the crowd.  AJ manages to throw Dreamer off a small balcony and dives on him to take out both guys.  Daniels busts out some weapons in the ring and beats Ray down with them.

BME eats a boot as at least AJ is back at ringside.  Rock Bottom gets two for Ray but he walks into a Pele.  Dreamer is back in the ring also.  The neck brace comes off as Immortal takes over.  Neckbreaker hits for Ray and Dreamer adds one of his own.  Daniels is still down so this is more or less open season on AJ.  Daniels goes down again as they keep showing replays.  Daniels gets back in time to break up a spike Piledriver and kills Ray with a kendo stick.  Spike Piledriver with Daniels doing the spiking ends Dreamer at 5:00.

Rating: C. Not bad for a brawl here but how weak does Immortal look when they can’t even beat a guy with a bad neck after working on his neck?  Anyway not bad but I kind of wonder what the point is in having AJ doing an injury angle when he can wrestle through it without any real issues.  Either way, nice to start off with a match.

Hogan is here.

Time for the Scorpion Sitdown and it’s Anderson as Sting.  Nothing like a talking segment on a WRESTLING show right?  Anderson says that it’s a sitdown because he’s too old to wrestle.  Remember that he’s talking as Sting.  His guest: Disco Inferno.  He’s a guy that was with Sting throughout WCW despite them never interacting that I remember.  Disco doesn’t get why he’s here but he’ll tell Anderson the truth about Sting.

Anderson randomly shouts during Disco’s talk and Disco gets ticked off at him.  Disco says that whether you liked Sting or not, he commanded respect.  Everyone grew up loving him and that’s all there is to it.  Anderson gets all annoyed and says that Disco is here to bury Sting and that’s the entire point.  Disco wants to know why Anderson is a jerk.  He even says it into the mic and gets up.  And there’s a Mic to the head and a Mic Check to Disco.  The real Sting comes off to run Anderson off.

Eric Young, still with the TV Title, goes into a bathroom and Gunner jumps him but Young has an idea.  Young will lay down tonight and Gunner will get the TV Title belt back while Young will get his old world title back.  Young leaves and Gunner calls him an idiot.

Velvet calls out ODB, saying she’s got a little explaining to do.  Well she looks better than Desi Arnaz.  ODB comes out and says Velvet got her fired last year.  Velvet says she’s worked her way here and ODB says she’s gotten here on her back.  Since Velvet hasn’t ever even been Knockouts Champion she must not be that good in the sack.  ODB drills her and the beating is on.  Velvet more or less runs and Velvet still doesn’t get what’s going on.

Video on RVD vs. Angle tonight which they’re trying to make seem like a huge level match.

Back from a break and we recap the ending to last week’s show with Roode having his arm destroyed by Immortal.

Beer Money is in Bischoff’s office and the doctor says Roode is kind of iffy about being able to wrestle.  They have a tag title match at Slammiversary and it’s 30 days for a defense so if the titles aren’t defended the belts will be stripped.  Storm says it’s a torn pectoral so he won’t be cleared in three weeks.  Bischoff has to know by the end of next week and says he might appoint a replacement.  Bischoff suggests that the Hillbilly Jesus (Storm) go get some manure and put it on Roode’s arm to heal it.  Storm threatens Bischoff and Bischoff says do it and you’ll never work again.  The champs leave and that’s that.

We actually get a clip from Xplosion where Pope hit on D-Von’s wife and D-Von wasn’t happy with it.  Pope says D-Von needs to chill.

Angle is with Morgan in the back as I guess wrestling matters so much they’re afraid to have any of it in case it gets wasted.  Angle says watch out for Karen.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Matt Morgan

I guess the competition thing is going to be a regular thing.  Supposed to sound real perhaps?  Karen is on crutches and looks very good in blue.  Before the match Jeff grabs a chair to give Karen something to sit in.  Earl doesn’t like it and throws Karen out.  Oh wait he’s allowing Karen to sit but she has to sit at the end of the ramp.  Jeff gets a thumb to the eye very early and hits a top rope cross body for two.

That goes nowhere and it’s time for the elbows in the corner to give Morgan control.  Side slam gets two.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Jeff works on the leg.  Fallaway Slam gets two as another cross body doesn’t work.  Karen comes down to ringside as Morgan gets a Michinoku Driver of all things for two.

And never mind as Karen gives him the crutch and a shot with that sets up the Stroke for only two.  Thought that was the ending.  Jeff jumps into a chokeslam but Morgan instead shifts into an atomic drop.  Carbon Footprint hits but Karen hits Hebner in the knee with the crutch.  Scott Steiner comes in and hits a Downward Spiral to Morgan and that’s good for the pin at 3:06.  Dang it I have to rate it.

Rating: D+. More or less nothing here but the nice little swerve there was pretty good as I thought the Stroke would end it.  Steiner vs. Morgan is nothing I’m fired up about seeing as it seems like a step down for Morgan as he was talking about wanting the world title.  Either way though, not a terrible match but WAY too short with way too much going on in just three minutes.

We recap Foley being revealed as Network Executive and Bischoff going after the X-Division last week.

Bischoff is in the ring and is all smiley.  Apparently Hogan had a great week with the network last week in New York as Bischoff predicted.  Here’s Hogan who is the leader of Impact Wrestling apparently.  Hogan says that the Network has given him authority to run this show.  Oh joy.  He pitched a bunch of ideas to the executives so now they think he’s a genius.  Hogan wants to talk about Bischoff for a minute because he’s proud of what Bischoff did to the X-Division.

Here’s Foley who doesn’t need an invitation apparently because he’s a network executive.  All Hogan did was tick the Network off apparently because after Hogan left, Foley explained that the X Division put it on the map and we’re going to expand it.  He’s going to go around the world finding new X-Division talent for an Ultimate X match.  Oh and Foley has power regarding PPV because they promote the PPVs.  Wouldn’t that give them control over all of the companies that advertise on Spike TV?

Hogan says Foley should do something for the X-Division tonight, like challenge for the X-Division Title.  Bischoff gets WAY too excited about that but before Foley can answer here’s Brian Kendrick and his X buddies.  He talks in his poetic speak and more or less asks for Foley’s title shot tonight.  They’re here to get rid of the reptilians that have acquired power apparently.  This was very tedious to say the least.

Winter is rubbing Angelina’s back and says that everything is about to change and they’re going to fulfill the promise they made to each other in another lifetime.  I shutter to think where this is going to go.

Winter vs. Mickie James

Non-Title here.  Tenay acknowledges that the Winter/Angelina thing goes back centuries, which makes me think this is going to get very stupid very fast.  Northern Lights Suplex gets two for Winter as she takes over.  Scratch that as Mickie gets a snapmare and a seated dropkick to set up a rana out of the corner.  Flapjack sets up a nipup and after countering the spin out Rock Bottom Mickie hits the jumping DDT for the pin at 2:18.  No rating due to shortness but this was just a step ahead of a squash.

Angelina destroys Mickie post match due to Winter having some blood on her chin.

Abyss says he’s going to destroy Kendrick tonight.  He’s reading Art of War again and has Janice with him.  Someone with long hair that we can’t see jump him.  Oh it’s Kaz and he takes Janice with him.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss

Abyss is all banged up due to the attack by Kaz.  Kendrick dives through the ropes with a kick that kind of hits to get us going.  Abyss charges into the steps and we go into the ring.  Amazingly enough they actually reference Abyss being a former world champion and say he’s the second Grand Slam winner.  I haven’t heard them reference that reign in years.

Abyss takes over and crushes Kendrick in the corner with an avalanche.  The beatdown commences but Kendrick counters a gorilla press slam and fires off some dropkicks.  Missile dropkick puts him down for two.  Brian goes up again but gets knocked off as Abyss hits the ropes.  Black Hole Slam and we’re done at 4:13.

Rating: D+. Not much here at all as Kendrick looks like a jobber all over again.  I guess we’re waiting on some savior of the X-Division to pop up, which might be AJ or Kaz.  Either way, something tells me Abyss is going to be champion and destroy random people for a few weeks to come.  Not horrible, but really nothing here at all.

Abyss rants about the Art of War some more.

Same RVD vs. Angle video from earlier.

Angle says the main event is a big match.

TV Title: Eric Young vs. Gunner

Young has the title itself because Gunner stole back the wrong belt last week.  I guess the whole “one is black and one is red” thing is too hard to keep track of.  They reenact the Fingerpoke of Doom but Young rolls him up for the pin and the title at 32 seconds.  Whatever man, whatever.

The Jarretts come out for the main event on commentary.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

We also get big match intros to kill even more time.  Jeff talks about how RVD is his handpicked opponent as RVD kicks Angle to the floor.  RVD hammers away but walks into a suplex.  A snap variety gets two for Kurt and we hit a reverse grip to waste some time.  They majority of this match is spent on a split screen so we can see the Jarretts talk while the wrestlers lay around.  RVD gets his top rope kick for two.  Angle gets a slam and both guys go down.

There’s been more laying around in this match than actual wrestling.  Ankle lock goes on and RVD is thinking about tapping.  He kicks out of it but the Five Star misses.  Angle Slam actually gets the fall on the first attempt at 7:36.  Yes, this epic five star first time ever main event didn’t even make it 8 minutes and is the longest match of the night so far.  Give me a break.

Rating: C-. This was built up as being an epic match and it was about 8 minutes of them laying around pretending that this was a huge match.  The camera was on the Jarretts about half the match which isn’t helping anyone at all.  Weak main event and the proper ending to one of the worst shows I can remember in a very long time.

Overall Rating: F+. I absolutely could not stand this show.  The wrestling was bad, nothing really was advanced, and the whole wrestling matters concept was more or less thrown out completely.  This was a terribly dull show as they had forty minutes between the first two matches and twenty between the second and third.  There’s no reason to have them just talk that entire time.  The main event was just ok after all that buildup and that doesn’t make up for two hours of nonsense before it.  Terrible show with more or less nothing happening at all.  The longest match was 7:36.  Let that sink in for a bit.

Results

Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles b. Bully Ray/Tommy Dreamer – Spike Piledriver to Dreamer

Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Morgan – Pin after a Downward Spiral from Scott Steiner

Mickie James b. Winter – Jumping DDT

Abyss b. Brian Kendrick – Black Hole Slam

Eric Young b. Gunner – Small Package

Kurt Angle b. Rob Van Dam – Angle Slam

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 19, 2011
Location: Impact Wrestling Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Back From The Dead

It’s the first show of a new era this week as WRESTLING MATTERS apparently.  It should be very interesting to see how the show has changed in this new world of the company emphasizing wrestling.  Also it’s time for the fallout from Sacrifice which should be interesting as we have Slammiversary set with Sting vs. Anderson for the title.  Lot to get to tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Angle/Chyna vs. the Jarretts on Sunday as well as the main event with some quick soundbytes from the winners.

There’s a new intro and color scheme as it’s now blue and a silver/gray.  The arena looks different too and it’s a nice change.

Here’s Immortal to open the show minus Jarrett or Hogan.  Bischoff says he and Hogan should be credited for all of the changes.  He runs down Foley, saying if it had been his decision it would have been Thumbtacks Matter instead of Wrestling.  Hogan and Foley are in New York apparently having meetings.  Immortal is in charge tonight and they’ll take care of anyone that gets in their way tonight.

Here’s Kendrick and the X guys, including Gen Me and Amazing Red.  Kendrick says that it’s odd to see a non-wrestler complaining about wrestlers get in his way.  Kendrick runs Bischoff down, talking about how he’s leeched off this business forever through backstabbing and phony friends.  Oh and Bully is fat.

Bischoff meets them in the aisle and says tonight the X Division is ending.  Kazarian is going to defend the X-Division Title against Abyss.  Red is going to get Joe and Generation Me, who are no longer fighting it seems, get Matt Hardy….and Bischoff.  He even calls them vanilla midgets.  Kendrick wants a match too, so Bischoff slaps him in the head and the brawl is on.

Fourtune minus AJ comes out and it’s the big brawl of the week.  The good guys seem to stand tall but the fight continues in the aisle.  They’re not done yet as Flair throws the jacket and they start it up again.  The X Guys hit dives on Immortal and the fight continues.  This has been going for a few minutes now so it’s a rather extended brawl.  They get split up and Flair says he wants to talk to Roode later tonight.

Sarita/Rosita/Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher/Tara

Mexican America comes out for commentary on this.  Rosita vs. Mickie to start us off as we go split screen to see the commentators.  I mention this because the new logo/scheme has what looks like blue flames or smoke and they were rapidly moving on the split screen so it was a bit disctracting.  Anyway the evildoers take over with some triple teaming but Mickie manages to tag in Tara to fight Madison.  Instead Madison runs and brings in Sarita.

Tessmacher comes in and continues to only be worth her looks.  For some reason she runs into the corer of Mexican America to hit the ropes so she gets tripled teamed also.  Madison runs from Tara some more so Tara beats up Rosita a bit.  Everything breaks down and Tara almost gets to Madison, only to send Rosita into Tara who ends Rosita with a chokebomb at 4:05.

Rating: D+. This was rather sloppy the whole time as it’s obvious that at least one of the girls is there because of how she looks in tiny shorts.  Other than that, nothing of note here at all as I guess we’re setting up Madison vs. Tara which is the logical way to go.  Hard to complain when I guess Sarita is the worst looking chick out there though.

Sting is here in his old tights and gear apparently but we only see his legs.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian

Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu.  Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt.  Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt.  That doesn’t work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.

Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count.  Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss.  Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee.  Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title he’s never won at 5:05.  Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that.  Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.

Rating: C+. Just a David vs. Goliath match but with a nice little twist of Abyss outsmarting Kaz when he couldn’t beat him with just straight power.  I’m thinking this might actually be the beginning of the end for the division as there really isn’t much of a point to the thing at the moment.  The TV Title is fine for a midcard title and despite the whole no limits thing, it’s almost always been seen as a Cruiserweight Title.  Anyway, not a bad match but nothing of note at all.

Gunner wants his belt back.

Samoa Joe vs. Amazing Red

Red looks scared but charges anyway, only to get slammed straight down and hammered in the corner.  Red gets in a shot or two and it means nothing at all.  Musclebuster and we’re done in 47 seconds.

Joe beats on Red post match until Crimson comes down for the save.  Are he and Red still brothers?

Here’s AJ who is in a neck brace and wants to talk to Tommy Dreamer.  Here’s Dreamer in sunglasses.  Apparently Storm has a concussion from the brawl earlier.  AJ is in the brace for a few weeks because of the Piledriver on Sunday.  AJ says that this is about Dreamer wanting to have a contract and how he’s there against his will.  Dreamer interprets this as AJ saying Dreamer can’t beat him.

Dreamer talks about how he’s a veteran that doesn’t have anything handed to him and drills Dreamer, saying he sold out and that AJ is as worthless as all these fans that always want more.  The fight is on and AJ’s neck goes out again until Daniels comes out for the save.  Dreamer and Daniels brawl but Bully Ray comes out and drills AJ with the chain clothesline and Daniels is taken down by a low blow from Dreamer and a big boot from Ray.  AJ takes another Piledriver from Dreamer as we go to a break.

A fan says he’s excited.

Sting says his focus is Hogan and Bischoff still.  He’s in his traditional gear here.

The “original” Sting is seen from the back, making Tenay call shenanigans.

Here’s Kurt who says he’s in a much better mood because Karen is gone thanks to Chyna.  Karen has a broken ankle apparently but Chyna isn’t here tonight.  Angle vs. Jarrett again at Slammiversary in a #1 contenders match according to Foley it seems.  Here comes Jeff who says that this is one last time but he wants to know why Kurt gets the shot at all.  Karen shouldn’t be blamed apparently and it should all be on Kurt.  Jeff never got distracted because he’s better than Kurt.  Naturally there’s going to be a stipulation for the match at the PPV: if Jeff wins, he gets the gold medal.

They shake on it but Jeff’s music hits again.  Karen pops up through the stage like Angle does in a wheelchair.  She runs her mouth and Velvet Sky pops up behind her.  Velvet shoves Karen down the ramp and she crashes into Jeff, falling out of the chair.  Velvet’s music plays as the Jarretts regroup.

Gen Me says blood is thicker than water and they’re united tonight.

Bischoff gets a call from Hogan and tells him about the match tonight.  Apparently Hogan was successful in New York.

Back and the Jarretts complain some more.  Apparently Velvet faces Winter and Angelina tonight.

Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy/Eric Bischoff

No entrance for Gen Me.  Matt vs. Jeremy to start us off and Matt uses his size advantage to take over.  Gen Me speeds things up as is their custom and work on Matt’s arm.  Matt takes over for a bit but since it’s more or less a handicap match, Gen Me takes over again with double teaming.  Poetry in Motion to Matt and Jeremy takes him down with a spear.

Matt fights back but both guys do down.  Matt wants a tag and Bischoff freaks, allowing Jeremy to hit a frog splash to Matt’s back for two.  450 attempt eats knees as we’re told that Foley and Hogan will be here next week.  Ice Pick, that double underhook chokeout by Matt has Max out cold so Bischoff comes in for a kick and the academic pin at 6:07.

Rating: D. The match sucked and the burial/elimination of the X Division continues.  I’m not complaining, but at the same time is there a reason that on a show about the rebirth of wrestling to have Eric Bischoff get a pin?  The match itself was bad on top of that but I’ve seen worse.  The Bucks using high spots is always a plus.

Angelina is still in a trance and Winter has candles everywhere.  She says that it’ll be like it was before and kisses Angelina incredibly gently as they’re up next.

Angelina Love/Winter vs. Velvet Sky

Winter starts but Angelina is tagged in almost immediately.  Angelina still can’t be hurt apparently as she shoves Velvet into the corner and brings Winter back in.  Kick to the back gets two for Velvet.  Next week Angle and Jeff will be in the ring and pick each other’s opponents.  Jeff picked RVD apparently.  Velvet fights them both off and puts a chinlock on Angelina which gets her nowhere for the most part.

Angelina takes her down with a clothesline and next week it’s AJ/Daniels vs. Ray/Dreamer.  The implied lesbians tag in and out a lot and Velvet is in trouble.  Winter gets a spinning backbreaker and Angelina is brought back in again.  She moves all slowly and gets rolled up by Sky in a small package for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty weak as Velvet is there to look hot and yell a lot and that’s about it.  Angelina plays that zombie roll to perfection, but I wish this angle would get somewhere already as it’s been going for months and we barely know anything at all.  Weak match as again they keep things short for the Knockouts, which is probably a good idea actually.

Post match ODB returns and beats up Velvet for no apparent reason.

Tessmacher is doing a photo shoot but Eric is the photographer and doesn’t have a camera.  He shows her how to do this by stripping down to his boxers and posing.  Gunner pops up and Eric wants to talk about respect.  Gunner hammers on him and leaves as Young says good job of working together bro.

Here’s Flair to call out Robert Roode.  Flair is ticked off about giving up to end Lethal Lockdown.  Roode says that was a war, not a wrestling match.  Flair says if the shoe was on the other foot, Roode would have been put out of wrestling.  Flair rants about mentoring Beer Money and how to be a man outside the ring also when it comes to getting drunk and getting laid.  Roode is going to be a man long after Flair leaves and that it’s now his time, not Flair’s.  Flair has changed colors in a matter of seconds.

Flair wants Roode to break his shoulder again right now and Roode says it’s over.  Flair says it isn’t and slaps Roode.  Roode grabs him and throws on the armbar again but here comes Immortal.  Remember that all of Fourtune has been taken out tonight already.  They get him down with relative ease and Ray whips him with the chain.  Ray tells Abyss to get two chairs and they do something similar to hammering a nail into Roode’s arm, probably breaking it.

Sting and Old Sting are up next.

Here comes Sting, as in the real Sting.  He says that he wants to praise RVD and that he got by on the skin of his teeth last Sunday.  His focus is still on Hogan and Bischoff and taking power from them.  Less than sixty seconds after he won on Sunday here was Anderson to jump him.  There go the lights and of course it’s Anderson in the old school attire.  He gets a bat shot and a Death Drop to Sting to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I really was disappointed in tonight’s show.  This was supposed to be TNA’s big emergence as the wrestling company and we get five matches, the longest clocking in at just over six minutes, one being a total squash and two promos to end the show.  Also, Eric Bischoff gets to pin someone.  I don’t see how this is supposed to help anything as Immortal continues to have virtually no authority and yet is pushed to the moon time after time.  Tommy Dreamer is a full fledged heel.  Let that sink in for a minute.  Anyway, weak show tonight to say the least and not a good sign for the future if this is an indication.

Results

Tara/Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James b. Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne – Tara pinned Rosita after a Chokebomb

Abyss b. Kazarian – Black Hole Slam

Samoa Joe b. Amazing Red – Musclebuster

Eric Bischoff/Matt Hardy b. Generation Me – Bischoff pinned Max Buck after a kick to the head

Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter – Small Package to Love