The Big Event
Date: August 28, 1986
Location: Exhibition Stadium, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 61,470
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny Valiant, Ernie Ladd

So in March 1987, Wrestlemania III completely redefined the idea of a major wrestling show. However, less than a year earlier, there was this show, which is often forgotten by comparison. It is headlined by a major showdown between Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff, which is an absolutely red hot feud. Let’s get to it.

Note that this is the Coliseum Video version of the show, which features a bunch of cuts to get it under two hours.

Gene Okerlund is in a helicopter over Toronto and we get some random short clips from the show. This is described as “the WWF and Hulkamania come to Toronto” in case you didn’t know what this was really about. We also hear about some of the card, which is always nice.

Funks vs. Killer Bees

Jimmy Hart is here with the Funks (Jimmy Jack/Hoss, the latter being better known as Dory Jr.). Hoss and Blair start things off with Blair taking over off some early slams. The Funks already need a breather on the floor before getting back inside for a double noggin knocker. Jack headlocks Brunzell and is promptly slammed down as well. Back in again and a crossbody gets two on Hoss before Blair cranks on the arm.

Hoss finally gets in an elbow and hands it back to Jack, who is taken into the wrong corner again. A sleeper has Jack in more trouble as Monsoon gets on Johnny V for cheering for the Funks. Hoss comes back in and sends Blair outside to FINALLY take over. Then the Bees do their mask deal and change spot, with Brunzell coming in for a clothesline to Hoss. Jack breaks up an abdominal stretch and the Bees switch again, with a small package finishing Jack at 6:43.

Rating: C. Nothing to see here, with the Bees’ cheating continuing to be a weird way to go. It’s a total heel move but for some reason it was supposed to be cheered. I’ve never gotten that as it never felt right. Just a basic opener, though the fans didn’t seem thrilled with seeing the Bees cheat multiple times to win.

Magnificent Muraco vs. King Tonga

Mr. Fuji is here with Muraco. We’re clipped into somewhere in the match with Tonga grabbing a hiptoss and a slam to send Muraco scurrying (yes scurrying) outside. We get a shot of a young fan as Muraco comes back in for some stalling. A dropkick sends Muraco outside again before Tonga starts in on the arm. Muraco’s monkey flip doesn’t work (Johnny: “Oopsie doopsie doo!”) and the arm cranking continues.

Fuji trips Tonga/Haku (as commentary keeps switching between the names) down to take over before Muraco sends him outside for a cane shot. Back in and we hit the nerve hold as we might as well be counting down to the time limit draw. About five arm drops don’t go anywhere so Tonga fights up and wins a strike off.

Muraco avoids a charge into the corner though and the leg is wrapped around the post. Back in and Muraco stays on the leg, setting up the Figure Four. With that broken up, Muraco goes up but gets slammed down. Tonga strikes away and hits a clothesline, followed by a high crossbody, only for time to expire at 11:24 shown of 20:00.

Rating: C-. It’s not exactly the most interesting match in the first place and I can’t imagine what it was like to have it go on almost twice at long. Throw in the fact that they were pretty clearly just filling time until the ending and it was even weaker. They did a nice job of hiding the clips, but it wasn’t an entertaining match in the first place.

Ted Arcidi vs. Tony Garea

Arcidi, a power guy, shoves Garea around without much trouble to start. Garea’s running shoulders don’t work as Arcidi is mainly just standing there. An elbow drops Garea but he kicks Arcidi in the face. The dropkick puts Arcidi down but he’s right back with a bearhug for the win at 2:40. Arcidi was horrible and this showed it even more.

Jimmy Hart has Adrian Adonis ready to face the Junkyard Dog and Hart is ready to get his revenge.

Adrian Adonis vs. Junkyard Dog

Jimmy Hart is here with Adonis, who jumps Dog before the bell. Dog fights back with the chain and Adonis is busted open for some headbutts to leave him rocked early. Adonis is headbutted to the floor, where another headbutt staggers him again. Dog headbutts him on the apron and then shoves the referee, allowing Hart to spray Dog in the face with the atomizer. A middle rope elbow gives Adonis two as I guess the bell did indeed ring off camera. Adonis knocks him outside where Hart jumps on the Dog, only for Dog to pull Adonis down. They slug it out on the floor and only Dog beats the count for the win at 4:12.

Rating: D. This didn’t work so well and that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise. Adonis was still able to bump rather well but there was only so much that he could do with someone as slow as Dog. This was mainly Dog doing headbutts and then getting beaten up until the finish. In other words, a pretty usual Dog match for the time.

Dick Slater vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

A hammerlock sends Sharpe outside, which makes sense as he doesn’t want that bad arm to get even worse. Back in and Slater sends him right back to the floor as Monsoon calls out Sharpe on having a VERY slow healing injury, with the brace being on for eight years. Monsoon: “Why doesn’t he take the brace off and let it heal?” Johnny: “I DON’T KNOW! WHY DON’T YOU TAKE HIM OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT AND ASK HIM???”

Back in again and Sharpe gets in a shot but we’re clipped to Slater fighting back. Slater knocks him into the corner, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. The elbow misses so Slater goes with a middle rope elbow into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 2:29 shown. Nothing to this one, again, though Johnny snapping on Monsoon was funny.

Bobby Heenan promises to get the masks off the Machines tonight. Oh and Paul Orndorff is going to win the WWF Title. He also hates the crowd calling him WEASEL.

Bobby Heenan/King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. The Machines/Captain Lou Albano

Ah the Machines. This would be Big Machine (Blackjack Mulligan) and Super Machine (Bill Eadie, better known as Ax) with Giant Machine (guess) in their corner. Studd and Super start things off but it’s too early for Super to get in a slam, as Studd’s thing was no one could slam him. The fans chant about a WEASEL as Studd knocks Super down to take over. Back up and Super knocks Studd to the floor, where the Giant sends him back inside. Bundy comes in to face Big and a collision goes nowhere.

Big slugs away and avoids a charge in the corner before knocking Bundy down so Studd comes back in. Studd stomps Big down and NOW it’s off to Heenan, who goes after the mask. A single shot from Super cuts him off but it’s Big being taken back into the corner. Studd’s cheap shot from the apron cuts Big down for two so it’s back to Heenan, only for Albano to get the tag. Heenan backs up (as only he can) before Albano whips him upside down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the Giant comes in for the DQ at 7:48.

Rating: D+. This was the usual slow motion match from the Machines and Bundy/Studd, though Heenan was there to make it better. It’s not a good match or really anything close to it, but what matters is they got something out of the crowd. The Machines were the definition of goofy fun, but it would be nice if they had something to back it up in the ring.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

Snake Pit Match, which basically means street fight. Roberts jumps him on the way in but Steamboat gets in a backdrop to send Roberts outside. That lets them get their entrance gear off before Steamboat chops away back inside. Steamboat starts in on the arm as Monsoon says that we were originally supposed to have a real snake and a real dragon in the corners but the whole safety thing prevented it.

The hammerlock keeps Roberts down as Johnny can’t remember the lake near the stadium. Steamboat chops him to the floor but Roberts takes over and drops some knees, with Steamboat hanging over the ring’s platform. Roberts takes too long to get a chair though and Steamboat takes it away for a hard shot of his own.

Back in and the top rope chop to the head gives Steamboat two as the fans are staying with this. The armbar goes on again but Roberts manages to whip him over the top for a big crash to the floor. A catapult sends Steamboat into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and Roberts hammers away, with the short arm clothesline putting Steamboat down. The DDT is blocked so Roberts grabs a backbreaker for two, only to pose too much, allowing Steamboat to get a sunset flip for the pin at 10:18.

Rating: B. Easily the match of the night here so far, with the fans being in there the whole time. Steamboat is someone who could make a comeback as well as anyone else and having him steal the win at the end was the perfect way to go. It was a good most, with Roberts feeling like he was out to hurt Steamboat, who was wrestling at a higher level and picked up the win in the end.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

It’s a Wrestlemania preview, with Monsoon on commentary alone for some reason and clearly doing a voiceover later. Haynes grabs a headlock and they trade leapfrogs until Hercules knocks him down. We’re clipped to Hercules grabbing a bearhug but Haynes headclaps his way out. They collide for a double down before Haynes elbows him in the face. A backbreaker looks to set up the full nelson but Hercules throws him outside instead. Hercules suplexes him back in and gets two off a clothesline. Haynes comes back with a quick backslide for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. It’s not bad, but at the same time there is only so much you can get out of these two having such similar styles. Their bigger match at Wrestlemania wasn’t that much better and it’s mainly due to the clash of styles. You rarely see two people with the same style having a good match and that was on display here.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Dream Team

Another Wrestlemania preview and commentary (including Johnny, the Dream Team’s manager) is back. The villains jump them to start but the Rougeaus come back with a slingshot sunset flip for two on Valentine. Jacques drops a knee on Valentine and we hit the abdominal stretch (yes Monsoon complains).

With that broken up, Beefcake comes in for a powerslam and his own two. Raymond gets taken into the corner for a middle rope shot to the head. Raymond gets in a crossbody for two and it’s back to Jacques for a double dropkick. An atomic drop cuts Jacques off (and gives him a rather high pitched scream) so Beefcake can take him into the corner. Everything breaks down and the Rougeaus ram them into each other, setting up the Cannonball for two. Valentine sends Jacques into the apron as we go to a wide shot to show the crowd.

Jacques gets rammed into the apron again before Beefcake hits a big backbreaker on Raymond. A suplex gives Beefcake two and Valentine grabs a bearhug, with a tag to Jacques not counting. Raymond gets whipped hard into the corner but Valentine misses the big elbow. The hot tag brings in Jacques to clean house, including a double dropkick as Johnny is losing his mind. Jacques misses his middle rope elbow so Valentine slaps on the Figure Four. Raymond makes the save as everything breaks down and a sunset flip pins Valentine at 14:55.

Rating: B-. Another good match here, with the extra time helping a bit. They built things up with the heat on both Rougeaus and Johnny going absolutely nuts on commentary helped a lot. It made for a good match as the glory days of the tag division were coming soon, with the Rougeaus being a forgotten part of the lineup.

Johnny has to be held back in the commentary booth. To make things even worse, Monsoon points out that the wrong Rougeau got the pin, which has Johnny’s eyes bugging out in a funny bit.

Harley Race vs. Pedro Morales

This would have been a fascinating match a mere ten years earlier. We’re joined in progress with Morales throwing those big lefts to send Race to the floor. Race trips him down and sends him over the timekeeper’s table. The falling headbutt hits Morales again and a posting makes it worse. Back in and Morales hits a suplex and gets two off a small package. A sunset flip out of the corner gives Morales two but Race rolls him up and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C. Morales was great in his day but it just wasn’t working at this point. You could see that it wasn’t there anymore, even in a short match like this one. Race was able to make anyone look better though and he pulled it off again here, at least as much as you could given the circumstances.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

Orndorff, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging and has the stolen Real American theme music. Since Hogan uses the same thing, they just let the song keep playing for both entrances. Orndorff jumps him before the bell and they roll around on the mat as the crowd is on fire. Hogan hammers away but the referee PULLS HOGAN’S HAIR to get him away. Dang it why can’t Jesse Ventura be on commentary here?

Back up and Hogan knocks him to the floor so Orndorff pulls Hogan outside for an exchange of rams into the apron. They get back inside where Hogan drops an elbow and an atomic drop sends Heenan into the corner. We pause for Hogan to go after Heenan, which is enough of a distraction for Orndorff to catch Hogan coming back inside. A big clothesline sends Hogan to the floor and there’s a suplex to drop him again.

Hogan starts to get back in, which Monsoon calls “guts personified”. We’re just over four minutes into a match where Hogan has been in control for a good chunk. Monsoon has a low standard for “guts personified”. Some elbows to the chest have Hogan in trouble on the apron and a rather hard one sends him to the apron.

Back in and Hogan gets dropped again so he reaches out to the crowd in one of those things that will always work. Orndorff hits a top rope right hand to the jaw but the piledriver is broken up. That earns Hogan a bite to the face and a belly to back suplex triggers the Hulk Up. A jumping knee sends Orndorff into the referee in the corner and Hogan holds up Orndorff’s arm for a clotheslines (how Orndorff turned on him). Hogan loads up a piledriver, which draws in Heenan with a stool to the back of the head. The VERY delayed cover gets….nothing as the referee calls for the DQ at 11:07.

Rating: B-. Another perfectly acceptable match here, with the ending designed to set up the rematches, which was one of the best house show runs the company has ever seen. Orndorff was a great change of pace heel for Hogan, who was best known for fighting the monsters. It was more in the Roddy Piper mold and that was certainly something Hogan could do very well. Not a great match, but the fans were eating it up.

Post match Orndorff puts the belt on and then freaks out at the announcement (as the referee appears near death in the corner). Orndorff stomps away but Hogan fights up and cleans house.

Slow motion replays and the credits take us out.

Overall Rating: C. The good matches are strong enough to carry this one to another level, but it’s still only so strong of a show. The problem is the bad matches really drag things down, as you’re not going to get much out of the midcard stuff here. What matters the most here is the massive crowd, which really is worth a look. Not a great show, but if you’re wanting to see what the company was doing in an era that is often forgotten, it’s worth a quick look.

 

 

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Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Well if you insist. This might be the show that I’ve seen more than any other in history as I regularly put it on to go to sleep, as it’s just such pleasant viewing. It’s one of the biggest shows of all time with the biggest main event in history. Throw in…oh come on. It’s Wrestlemania III. You know what this is all about so let’s get to it.

And in case it needs to be addressed again, the exact attendance of the show is A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Be it 78,000 or 93,173 or whatever it is in the middle, the WWF packed an NFL stadium and it’s a show that is still talked about going on forty years later. If you’re trying to argue that the attendance being ONLY pushing 80,000, you’re probably reading the wrong thing right now.

We open with the first (of a bunch) iconic shot of the show, with the camera near the top of the stadium and panning across to show all of the people. That’s one of those famous shots in the company’s history and it’s no wonder that it’s been played so many times.

Vince McMahon introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America The Beautiful, with just a hint of the Mr. McMahon voice coming out.

We meet commentary, plus special guests Mary Hart (from Entertainment Tonight) and Bob Uecker (famously not very good baseball player who wound up being a great TV personality and broadcaster).

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

Mr. Fuji is here with the villains and the Connection (Tom Zenk/Rick Martel) are basically the prototype for Strike force. Muraco shoves Zenk away to start and actually gets shouldered down. It’s off to Martel, who blind tags his way out of a headlock, setting up a double monkey flip. A double hiptoss drops Orton as well as they’re off to a fast start.

Back up and Orton gets slammed into an armbar from Zenk as Monsoon says Orton has “excellence of execution”. Orton gets a full nelson but Muraco’s cheap shot hits Orton by mistake to give Zenk two. Zenk comes in to work on the arm as well but a quick knee cuts Zenk down. Back up and a collision gives us a double knockdown, allowing the tag back to Martel. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent into each other, with Muraco backdropping Orton. A double dropkick sets up a crossbody (with a trip) to pin Muraco at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This would have been a dark match in more modern times but for this era, it was a great way to start things off. They didn’t waste time and got out of there pretty quickly with the young, pretty boy team beating the villains. Orton and Muraco were never really in control for any extended period of time and it was just shy of a squash. Fun opener here, even if it doesn’t mean much of anything.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes, which is a battle of the full nelson between two strong guys.

Hercules, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to use his strength to show Haynes that he is the true master of the full nelson. Heenan insists that it is actually Billy “Jerk” Haynes.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Bobby Heenan is here with Hercules and since the teams were in the ring to start the opener, we get the first glimpse of the ring carts here. They go nose to nose to start and Haynes backs him into the corner, where the referee gets between them in something you don’t often see. A cheap shot cuts Haynes off but Hercules has to bail from the threat of a full nelson.

One heck of a clothesline drops Haynes and things slow down. A backdrop and hard whip into the corner have Haynes’ back in more trouble, though Monsoon wonders why he isn’t working on the neck to set up the full nelson. Hercules covers him off a suplex but pulls up at two, which has Gorilla and Ventura mildly freaking out.

Back up and the full nelson, or at least something close to it (the fingers aren’t locked) goes on, with Haynes going down anyway. Two arm drops trigger the comeback so Hercules decks him from behind in a smart move. A double clothesline leaves both of them down before Haynes makes the clothesline comeback. The full nelson goes on but Hercules pulls them through the ropes for a crash outside. Haynes gets the full nelson on again but it’s a double countout at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was a fairly slow power match with the result not really giving us anything. It’s still strange to see something like this at Wrestlemania but it’s a rather different era. The good thing though is that they didn’t stay out there very long, which takes away a lot of the issues. Haynes is a guy who had a great look but never went very far in the WWF before bailing (as he did multiple times in various companies).

Post match Heenan knees Haynes in the back so the chase is on, allowing Hercules to get in a chain shot and bust Hayes open (notice Haynes blading on camera). The full nelson goes on as well, likely setting up house show rematches.

King Kong Bundy, with his midgets (that’s what they’re called on this show so we’ll stay with that for now) threatens to crush various people.

Hillbilly Jim promises to protect his smaller friends, who he picks up for a beard pull.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Bob Uecker is on commentary and actually treats it seriously, clarifying that the sizes have to match (not so much the age, as Beaver was 53 here while Tokyo was 58, compared to the 35 year old Jim and the 32 year old Bundy). Tokyo headlocks Kid over to start and it’s a four way criss cross until Beaver and Kid do their rowboat spot. We settle down to Tokyo vs. Beaver as Uecker seems rather happy to be here.

Littlebrook comes in as Ventura wants to see Bundy crush one of the midgets. Beaver runs over to get in a cheap shot on Bundy, who is tagged in from the apron, which isn’t exactly legal. Beaver’s dropkick doesn’t do much to Bundy so it’s off to Jim for a clothesline and jumping elbow. The group pin gets two and Bundy grabs a front facelock on Jim, with Beaver coming in for the save. That’s enough for Bundy, who slams Beaver down and drops the big elbow, which is enough for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches where there isn’t much to get. It’s designed to be comedy or for the kids in the audience, which is fine when they just do something goofy. At the same time, it’s hard to fathom how far Bundy fell after headlining the show the previous year. In something a lot more serious, unfortunately the big elbow to Beaver led to the end of his in-ring career, as he never wrestled again.

Randy Savage isn’t going to let Elizabeth be interviewed by Mary Hart and offers to take any questions Hart may have. Hart to Elizabeth: “Is it always this way?” Savage rushes Elizabeth out of there but tells Hart that his phone number is on his license plate. Hart: “You are a real charmer.” And an incredible star, as the charisma here was incredible.

We recap Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. Race is the King of the WWF and wants the Dog to bow to him but Dog wasn’t interested. Instead, Race, with Bobby Heenan, tried to force him to bow. That’s enough to set up a match, but I’d be more annoyed at the crown having a string to help hold it on. They can’t get something a bit more customized?

Race promises to make Dog bow and the Queen (Fabulous Moolah) is told to keep the crown.

The Dog thinks Race has been on the throne too long.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Bob Uecker runs off commentary because he is apparently in love with Moolah. As….someone must have been. Dog slugs away to start and knocks him outside, followed by a headbutt back inside. Race hits a headbutt to the ribs and they go outside, where Race misses a falling headbutt.

A clothesline sends Race over the top and back inside, followed by another to put him outside again, with Race’s face landing on the apron. Back in again and Race fights out of an abdominal stretch and hits a falling headbutt, which huts himself again. Dog whips him over the corner and hits some headbutts on all fours. Heenan offers a distraction though and Race grabs a belly to belly for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. This was another short one and somehow might have set a record for the most headbutts attempted in any match. The interesting thing here is that it felt like Race was doing something beneath him, but you could still see how graceful he was with some of his bumping. It made Dog, who wasn’t exactly great on his best day, look that much better here, which is quite the feat.

Post match Race puts on the robe and sits in his chair, which is quite the visual. Dog does bow, then hits Race with the chair and steals the robe and crown, because he’s a sore loser.

Hulk Hogan is not happy with people suggesting that he is ready to take his last ride. At some point you have to face the truth, which is what Andre The Giant will do today. Andre is going to have to face every Hulkamaniac. Hogan: “They say if the dirty air doesn’t get you, the politicians will.” After that line that I have not understood for over thirty seven years, Hogan promises to win.

The Dream Team says don’t worry about Dino Bravo being in their corner.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team, with Luscious Johnny V and Dino Bravo, gets an entrance while the Rougeaus are already in the ring. Ventura praises Greg Valentine’s new robe. To be fair, that is a rather snazzy robe. As usual, Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau is which and asks Monsoon in an exchange that illustrates why they sounded like normal people from time to time. Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau he’s seeing, Monsoon says it’s Raymond (the one with the mustache) and Ventura sounds grateful. How often do you see that in wrestling?

Anyway, Raymond takes over on Valentine to start and hands it off to Jacques, who misses a spinning middle rope crossbody, allowing Valentine to drop some elbows, as he is known to do. Beefcake comes in to stomp away and a top rope forearm to the head/backbreaker combination hits Jacques.

Bobby Heenan joins commentary and says he is 2/2 today as Valentine gets the Figure Four, sending Jacques to the rope. Monsoon calls out Heenan for King Kong Bundy’s loss, but Heenan doesn’t “deal with midgets”. Jacques gets over to Raymond for the tag and Le Bombe de Rougeau connects but Bravo gets in a cheap shot, allowing Valentine to steal the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Another short match which didn’t mean much but hearing Monsoon and Heenan arguing is always worth a look. It’s another match where they don’t have much of a story and it’s just two teams doing things, which is acceptable enough. Anytime you can get Le Bombe de Rougeau, it’s a pretty good day. Well maybe not for the Rougeaus, but at least it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match Beefcake gets left in the ring for some reason with the other villains leaving. No one exactly gets what’s going on with Beefcake and…yeah it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Unless he’s just having a sudden crisis of conscience, it comes out of nowhere, at least with what we’re seeing here.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis in Piper’s farewell match, which is hair vs. hair. Adonis had paid off Piper’s bodyguard Bob Orton and Piper was livid, even more so when Piper’s Pit was turned into the Flower Shop when Piper was gone making a movie. Piper came back and wrecked the place, earning a beating from Adonis and Orton. On top of that, Adonis sprayed perfume in Piper’s face, with Ventura thinking it was due to a bad case of halitosis. This was a heck of a hot feud, as Piper looked like he wanted to kill Adonis.

Piper says he’s not going out like a coward. No defeat and no surrender. Piper was bringing the fire here.

Adonis, with Jimmy Hart, is ready to cut Piper’s hair.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Piper has to walk to the ring (as his cart stalled), which just feels appropriate. They start fast with Piper whipping him with a belt but Adonis takes it away and unloads on Piper as well. A clothesline sends Adonis to the floor so Piper drags him, and Hart, inside for a double noggin knocker. Hart gets whipped into Adonis for a crash out to the floor. Ventura: “THIS IS TERRIBLE! THIS IS HORRIBLE!”

Back in and Piper unloads on Adonis before throwing Hart onto him again. Adonis rakes away at the chest and drops him with a shot to the face as Hart is barely able to stand on the floor. An elbow sends Piper to the floor and Adonis sends him into a table so Hart gets in a cheap shot of his own. Adonis hammers away so Piper tells him to bring it, only for Hart to spray him with perfume.

Good Night Irene (sleeper) goes on and Piper can’t shake it off or break it with some rams into the corner. The arm drops twice and Adonis just lets go, with the arm not going down yet. Cue Brutus Beefcake (whose hair Adonis had accidentally cut earlier in the year) to wake Piper up so Adonis swings his hedge clippers, which bounce off the ropes and hit himself in the head. Piper grabs his own sleeper for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B. No it might not be good, but this is an absolute blast of a match with Piper being so over the top and having such a good time with Hart and Adonis that it’s just so much fun. Piper was on his way out and gets to do one more entertaining match because he earned the whole thing. It would have been interesting to see him as a good guy for a longer time in his prime but going out on a high note like this is good too.

Post match Beefcake cuts a bunch of Adonis’ hair, with Piper throwing it around. Adonis wakes up and is shown his haircut, which sends Adonis into a frenzy. It doesn’t really get him very far as Piper keeps skipping away, leaving Adonis to crash out to the floor. Piper celebrates and a fan runs into the ring, gets a hug, and is promptly handcuffed while Piper leaves in a funny moment. Of note: the hedge clippers that Adonis used would become Beefcake’s trademark as he became the Barber after the match. Throw in Adonis being the one to give Piper his trademark leather jacket and it’s quite the influential feud.

Jesse Ventura has left commentary to be presented to the crowd, with Bob Uecker accusing him of going to be with Fabulous Moolah.

Ventura is indeed presented to the crowd before the next match, which he would do for the next two Wrestlemanias for some reason.

The Hart Foundation and Jimmy Hart are ready for war with DANNY DAVIS as their new member.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Bob Uecker and Mary Hart are on commentary. So this is ALL about Davis, who was a referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles through being all evil. He was promptly suspended “for life plus ten years” (he refereed again later on because wrestling) so Jimmy Hart has turned him into a wrestler, making his debut here.

The fans are desperate to see Davis get absolutely massacred here and he has absolutely insane heat. The good guys get to do their entrance and Uecker AGAIN does a great job of setting up Monsoon to recap the story, treating this totally seriously (in his own fun way) and being as good of a celebrity broadcaster as you’ll ever find in wrestling. Matilda (the bulldog mascot) chases the villains to the floor and Santana jumps Neidhart before we officially get going.

Ventura takes Matilda to the back as Bret is dropped face first out of the corner. Neidhart comes in as Mary Hart goes on a rather annoying rant about how she is NOT related to Jimmy. Santana leapfrogs Neidhart and hands it off to Smith to hammer away. Smith avoids Bret’s elbow and hands it off to Dynamite, who gets headbutted down. Dynamite gets punched in the corner and Neidhart adds a cheap shot as Monsoon says that Bret, just like Bob Orton, has Excellence Of Execution.

Something close to a Demolition Decapitator hits Dynamite and it’s off to Davis for a few stomps. He immediately hands it off to Bret with the biggest grin, because he knows how to be a heel. Unfortunately Mary is asking what Dynamite has to do to get out of the ring in this TAG match. Davis comes back in for two more stomps and gets out again with his big grin. Bret tries a slingshot but Davis lands on raised knees, allowing Santana to come in and hammer on Davis, with the fans going NUTS.

A backdrop sets up the flying forearm before Santana just unloads on him with some right hands. Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four so Smith comes in for a heck of a clothesline and a jumping Tombstone. That’s not enough for the cover so Smith grabs a suplex to drop Davis again. The running powerslam gets two with Neidhart making the save. Everything breaks down and Jimmy slips in the megaphone so Davis can knock Smith out for the win at 8:53.

Rating: B. While it might be stretching the idea of having Davis escape one more time, sweet goodness the crowd reactions here were incredible. Davis was getting absolutely molten heat here and the fans were dying to see him get crushed. I could have gone for seeing the good guys win, but stretching it out wasn’t the worst idea.

Bobby Heenan (now in the famous white tuxedo) promises that Hulkamania is over tonight because Andre The Giant will be the new World Champion. Heenan’s confidence here is even higher than usual as he really feels like this is the be all and end all for him.

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Slick is here with Reed as we have a bit of a Mid-South reunion here. Ware tries to pick up the pace to start by running over Reed and then dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Reed drops Ware to take over and we look at Frankie the parrot trying to eat the camera. Ware comes back with some right hands and a dropkick before a small package gets two. Back up and Ware tries a crossbody but Reed rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here with the two of them just having a quick match without going very far. Reed felt like he could have been something bigger in the company but it never quite panned out. Having him around here was fine, but there is only so much you can do in a match this short with nothing going on.

Post match Slick goes after Ware but Tito Santana pops up to rip off Slick’s suit as he and Ware have been having issues lately. Santana and Ware clear out Reed too.

We recap Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title. Savage injured Steamboat with an ax handle to send Steamboat throat first into the barricade and then crushed his throat with the ring bell. Steamboat returned anyway and wanted revenge while teaming up with George Steele, who had been feuding with Savage for several months.

Savage is ready to beat Steamboat and get him out of the ring because he is the lord and master. “History beckons the Macho Man.” What an amazing line.

Steamboat says they are going to meet like titans and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat, with George Steele, is challenging and Miss Elizabeth is with Savage, who gets a face pop so big that even commentary has to acknowledge it. They lock up to start and Steamboat shoves him to the floor as Ventura says Steamboat was able to come back because he has a lot of throat. The armdrags have Savage in trouble and Steamboat lifts him up with a choke.

Back in and Savage gets in a kick of his own as even Monsoon has to admit that Savage is pretty incredible. Steamboat comes back with a crank on the arm and snaps it over the top but Savage elbows him in the face. Savage drops a knee for two but gets sent face first into the buckle. A crossbody gives Steamboat two and it’s another armdrag into some shoulder blocks. Savage comes back with a jumping knee to the back but Steamboat is fine enough to skin the cat.

That just earns him a clothesline over the top because as good as Steamboat is, Savage is incredibly smart in his own right. Another running knee sends Steamboat crashing over the barricade, with Steele having to help him back over while the referee yells at Savage. Ventura gets on Monsoon, who wanted managers to be less hands on. Monsoon: “That’s not a manager. That’s a friend.” I feel terrible for this one but screw off with that nonsense Monsoon.

The top rope ax handle drills Steamboat and an atomic drop gets two back inside. Steamboat flips out of a belly to back suplex and backdrops Savage over the top for a heck of a bump to the floor. Back in and Steamboat dives off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head (I love that shot). Steamboat starts firing off the chops and Savage is knocked outside again. A sunset flip and some rollups get two each on Savage as even Ventura has to admit that this match is incredible.

Steamboat catapults him face first into the post for two but Savage pulls the tights to send Steamboat shoulder first into the post. Back up and a reversed whip takes out the referee and Savage hits his signature clothesline (where he lands on his back for some reason). The top rope elbow connects….and there’s no referee. Savage goes to grab the bell but Steele shoves him off the top, with Savage crashing down onto said bell (close enough). Back up and Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:31 in one of the most famous finishes in history.

Rating: A+. I mean…what do you want me to say? Yeah it might be a cliche to say this is one of the best matches ever but that’s exactly what it is. You have two of the best of all time in a match that was way ahead of its time with the fast pace and near falls. There’s nothing close to bad in the whole thing and it feels like it is one of the biggest showdowns you’ll ever see. In short, this is a classic for a reason, or in this case, multiple reasons.

Savage goes back in the card with his head in his hands, completely destroyed.

Jake Roberts, with Alice Cooper, is ready to get revenge on Honky Tonk Man for hitting him with a guitar.

Honky Tonk Man thinks the fans want to hear his song rather than something by Alice Cooper.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Jimmy Hart and Alice Cooper are here too. Roberts jumps him to start and knocks him outside before the Elvis suit can come off. The beating goes to the floor, with Roberts getting in a slam as the beating is on in a hurry. Back in and Roberts charges into a knee in the corner but he’s right back with the short arm clothesline. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor, where he manages to post Roberts for a breather.

Back in and the middle rope fist drop hits Roberts, followed by an elbow to the face (by “Honk” according to Monsoon). The Shake Rattle And Roll (he couldn’t get past the Shake) is broken up and Roberts is back with an atomic drop. There’s a backdrop to Honky Tonk and he gets tied in the ropes for some right hands. The DDT is teased but Hart grabs the leg, allowing Honky Tonk to get a rollup (with a grab of the rope) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C. There was only so much to get out of this one as Honky Tonk wasn’t going to have the best matches and this was more about Roberts’ revenge. That’s not what he got anyway, but it’s not like Roberts was ever going to win many big matches. Honky Tonk Man had something much bigger coming, but you wouldn’t have bet on it here…which is kind of the entire point.

Post match Hart and Cooper get in the ring, with Roberts holding Hart back so Cooper can throw Damien on him. This show has been very full of sore losers.

Gene Okerlund announces the attendance record.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the villains and is still in his torn suit. Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem, which draws out newcomer Jim Duggan (yes the 2×4 has an American flag) to break it up because THIS IS AMERICA. The villains jump them from behind to get started but are sent into the corners to cut them off. Blair comes in to work on Sheik’s arm and the Bees take turns working on said arm. Everything breaks down as the ring is full of trash from the anthem.

Sheik elbows Brunzell down and it’s back to Volkoff for a bearhug (which has Brunzell looking like he’s being tortured to death). A suplex (almost a Jackhammer) gives Sheik two but Brunzell knees him down. The referee misses the tag thanks to a distraction though and everything breaks down. Sheik camel clutches Brunzell so Duggan blasts him in the back with the 2×4 for the DQ at 5:51.

Rating: D. This is a good example of a match that did not need to be here and served little more than to stretch things out until the main event was ready to go. It really didn’t need to happen and it’s not like there was much going on anyway. If nothing else, it continues to amaze me that Sheik and Volkoff were a team for so long. They won the Tag Team Titles two years ago at the first Wrestlemania and they’re still here.

Post match Duggan says he’ll do that every time Volkoff tries to disgrace America. As Ventura puts it: why are the Bees ok with Duggan costing them a match? Shouldn’t they be mad?

Andre The Giant is ready to be the World Champion and Bobby Heenan agrees.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant. They had been friends for years but then Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and asked why he never got a title shot from Hogan. Andre snapped (well as much as he’s ever going to snap) and tore the shirt off of Hogan’s back (ripping his cross off by mistake in the process), challenging him for the title at “the Wrestlemania.” Hogan agreed and it’s time for the biggest match of all time.

Hogan is ready and poses.

Bob Uecker, the guest ring announcer and Mary Hart, the guest timekeeper, are brought out.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Andre, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging. Hogan’s entrance is rather incredible, with him getting the big spotlight and walking all the way to the ring as Ventura does the tale of the tape (and even admits that Hogan’s biceps are “phenomenal”). Ventura: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That’s pretty accurate, yep. The bell rings and we get the staredown, which is your next iconic shot of the show.

Hogan wastes no time in Hulking Up before hammering away and trying a slam, only for Andre to fall onto him. This gives us a VERY close two, which was controversial enough that it enough for the feud to continue for another year. Andre slowly starts in on the back and hits a pair of slams before stepping over Hogan to keep him down. Some whips into the corner make it worse as Andre is barely having to do much here, mainly because he couldn’t. Andre misses a headbutt and hits the corner, allowing Hogan to hammer away for the hope spot.

Ten straight rams into the buckle have Andre staggered but he gets the boot up to cut off the charge. The bearhug goes on for awhile (I still don’t get the criticism that this kills the match as it’s really not that long) but Hogan slugs away for the break. A running shoulder has Andre staggered again until he hits a big chop. Andre boots him out to the floor but accidentally headbutts the post.

Hogan, ever the hero, pulls back the floor mats and tries a piledriver, which is easily blocked with a backdrop. Back in (I can give you the commentary word for word from here on) and Andre misses a big boot, allowing Hogan to drop him with a clothesline. Heenan is beside himself as Hogan Hulks Up and slams Andre (there’s your other iconic shot) to drop the leg and retain the title at 11:32. Ventura: “UNBELIEVABLE!” If you could sway Jesse, you could get anyone.

Rating: B-. No it isn’t particularly good, no it isn’t anything that hasn’t been done better and no it was never going to much better than that. What mattered here was giving Hogan the win against the biggest (non-Sammartino) name of the previous generation. It’s a VERY simple story (Hogan gets hurt, he gets beaten down, he survives long enough to Hulk Up and uses the power of Hulkamania to slay the Giant) but it was a good enough stadium match to get by. That and the whole “it’s the biggest match ever” kind of helps.

Andre and Heenan leave in the card, with Heenan’s head in his hands as he realizes he’s lost everything. Hogan poses a lot and gets in his cat, which is elevated so more people can see him in a smart move.

Ventura and Gorilla wrap up the show and we get a stills package to end the show, set to Aretha Franklin.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve watched this show more times than I can count for over thirty years and that’s because it just works. It’s a perfect example of a show that flows so well, with only a few spots that drag. The show has twelve matches and two of them break nine minutes. Even the worst matches on the card are out of there quickly enough that they don’t do much damage, which is part of the reason why the show is just over three hours.

At the same time, this was the show that set the standard for what Wrestlemania would become. Rather than a big house show or whatever the second edition was, it was “here’s a huge main event with enough on the undercard to fill a stadium”. That would become the standard for Wrestlemania down the line and it started here, making it one of the most important shows of all time.

Overall, Wrestlemania III is a show that changed the way the wrestling world worked and it still works to this day. You could tell that everyone was wanting it to go as well as it could and for once they actually pulled it off. No the matches aren’t all great, but it has that huge feeling that you cannot fake. It’s a show that will always work and I was enjoying it all over again here, which isn’t something you see very often. Check it out again if you haven’t in awhile, or even if you have really, as it’s always worth the time.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C-

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2025 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Sweet goodness I’ve been all over the place with this show over the years.

 

 

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Crunch Classic
Host: Roddy Piper
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes

You ever just feel the need for some Coliseum Video goodness? Well this is from 1992 so the goodness might not be at its highest level but it’s a tape I haven’t looked at before. I’m not sure how accurate the term “classic” is going to be here but the WWF does have a reputation for false advertising. Let’s get to it.

Roddy Piper welcomes us to the show and talks about some of his crunch classic moments, including beating up Mr. T., Jimmy Snuka and Cyndi Lauper, but he never had a belt to put around his waist. Then he met the Mountie.

From the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is challenging and knocks Mountie, with Jimmy Hart, outside in a hurry. A cheap shot on the floor slows Piper down but he sends Mountie into the corner a few times back inside. Piper hits a bulldog for two but misses a dropkick allowing Mountie to send him into the buckle as well.

Commentary talks about how Bret Hart had a 103 degree fever when he lost the title to the Mountie, with Heenan talking about how he wrestled with 113 degree fever. All it took was a children’s Bayer. Heenan: “The orange flavored ones!” Piper atomic drops him over the top but Mountie skins the cat. That’s fine with Piper, who sends him into an invading Hart and grabs the sleeper for the win and the title at 5:21.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this match more times than I can remember and the only thing that matters is Piper finally getting his moment. No one bought Mountie as a serious champion so this was about as good of an effort as he was going to put up here. Piper was LONG overdue to win something and it’s as much of a feel good moment as you’re going to get.

Post match Hart tries to come in with the shock stick but Piper takes it away and shocks Mountie instead. With the villains dispatched, we get the big AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW title call in one of Fink’s best ever announcements.

From Dayton, Ohio, October 22, 1991.

Virgil/Big Boss Man vs. Money Inc.

It’s not Money Inc., yet but close enough. They also have Sensational Sherri with them, which is kind of a weird combination. Virgil is also Million Dollar Champion, just to make DiBiase all the more annoyed. Thankfully Mooney dubs them Money Inc. just after the bell so I can save time on an edit. Boss Man chases IRS into the corner to start before IRS charges into a raised boot.

Virgil comes in to sunset flip DiBiase for two and there’s an atomic drop to send him outside. Back in and Virgil charges into a boot in the corner so IRS can add the flying shoulder. DiBiase’s suplex gets two and IRS’s legdrop gets the same. Virgil finally gets in a shot of his own and the big (not hot, but big) tag brings in Boss Man to clean house. With nothing else working, Sherri takes her shoe off but hits IRS by mistake, allowing Virgil to get the rollup pin at 7:03.

Rating: C. They were trying really hard with Virgil at this point and the win here was another step, but it just wasn’t going to go anywhere outside of the DiBiase feud. Other than that, this was a pretty nothing match, but the fans got to cheer at the end as they should have. For a dark match from a TV taping, I’ve seen much worse.

Post match yelling ensues but DiBiase calms IRS down with cash.

Here’s a special feature on 24 Hours With Jimmy Hart. We catch up with him arriving at a hotel (sans limo of course) over what appears to be Wrestlemania VIII weekend. Hart’s wrestlers are checked in but his room won’t be ready for about three hours. He can stay in a room in the basement though, meaning he has an office. Mountie comes in and says Jimmy was supposed to take care of his stick tonight. Later, Money Inc. is here to make sure everything is planned, including an appearance on the Arsenio Hall Show.

Hart finally falls asleep (reading WWF Magazine of course) when a phone call tells him about various problems with his wrestlers. Later, the Nasty Boys aren’t ready to go to the ring so Hart runs off on his own. Hart is FINALLY done….and his room key doesn’t work, leading to a nervous breakdown. This was funny enough, but Hart can make anything worth a laugh.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

New Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

That would be Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart and Jimmy Hart is with the Nastys. Neidhart and Knobbs start things off with the former firing off the big forearms in the corner. Everything breaks down and Neidhart whips Owen through the ropes for a big dive. Owen backflips in from the top to show off a bit and the fans approve. Back in and the Nastys go with the double teaming to take over for all of five seconds before Owen armdrags his way to freedom.

Neidhart comes back in to stay on the arm but it’s right back to Owen, who gets slapped in the face. That’s enough for the Nastys to finally get him in the corner so the choking can begin. Sags grabs a chinlock until Owen fights up for a failed sunset flip attempt. Some elbows to the back keep Owen down and we hit the reverse chinlock. Owen fights up and brings Neidhart back in to clean house, including a shoulder to Knobbs. That doesn’t work for Sags, who throws the referee out for the DQ at 7:26.

Rating: D+ Owen was trying here but the New Foundation never quite clicked. At the same time, you know exactly what you’re going to get from the Nasty Boys so there wasn’t much to get excited about here. The ending does seem stupid but the Nastys were a bigger deal and given that this was being recorded, it makes sense to try and protect them a bit here.

Roddy Piper talks about beating up Jimmy Hart and Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania III (Piper: “92,271 paid admission. And me. The Scotsman, I don’t may for nothing!”). It was one of the greatest nights of his life because the people were cheering for him.

From Wrestlemania III.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair, Adonis has Jimmy Hart in his corner and this has Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes on commentary to avoid Jesse Ventura issues. They slug it out to start with Piper pulling out a belt to whip away. Hart gets beaten up as well but the distraction lets Adonis take the belt and get in his own whips. Back up and Piper whips him over the corner to the floor (which Adonis can do despite weighing well over 300lbs here), setting up the very 1987 double noggin knocker.

Hart trips Piper though and Adonis gets to rake at the skin a bit. Adonis hammers away on the ropes so Piper says bring it on, earning himself a spray from the atomizer. The sleeper goes on (which is more like a smother) but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Cue Brutus Beefcake to wake Piper up and the comeback is on. Piper decks Hart and sleepers Adonis for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B-. This is a good example of a match that is carried by the crowd reactions. The fans were going NUTS for this stuff and it made for a special match as a result. They completely embraced Piper in this role after hating him for so many years and this whole thing was such a blast. Not a good match from a quality standpoint, but it was a good payoff to a red hot feud.

Post match Beefcake goes to cut Adonis’ hair but it’s rather wet so the shave only goes so well. Adonis wakes up and sees the hair cut in a well placed mirror, sending him into a rage until he falls to the floor.

And now, a fan request match. From Utica, New York, November 11, 1991.

British Bulldog vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker as commentary points out that Undertaker is being “more friendly” lately, though this was before he turned. Bulldog hammers away to start and knocks Undertaker over the top for the feet first landing. A ram into the steps rocks Undertaker again but he’s right back with the uppercuts. The smother to the face slows Bulldog down as Bearer says THE POWER OF THE URN COMPELS YOU. Bulldog fights up and manages a slightly delayed suplex, setting up the running powerslam but bearer offers a distraction. An urn shot gives Undertaker the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C. This is more of a historical curiosity than anything else but it is still kind of cool to see. The Bulldog was around the height of his singles career at this point but Undertaker was a force of a different kind. They had to turn him as he was getting such positive reactions and it’s almost weird to hear commentary have to backtrack a bit because of the taping schedule.

Post match Undertaker loads up the body bag but Bulldog fights up and clears the ring.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Texas Tornado vs. Rick Martel

Martel shows of his (rather impressive) physique to start before going with some knees to the ribs. They fight over a lockup until Martel rakes the eyes until Tornado finally throws him outside. Back in and Tornado works on the arm, including an armbar. Tornado misses a charge into the post though and Martel hits a middle rope ax handle to put him down. Martel dives into the claw but makes the rope, allowing him to spray Arrogance in Tornado’s face for the DQ at 5:59.

Rating: D+. Really? You can’t have Martel lose to the Claw in TEXAS? I get the idea of protecting some people but Rick Martel? In 1991? I don’t get this one, but on top of that it just wasn’t that great of a match. Martel is a good hand and did his thing here, but Tornado did little more than the arm cranking and the Claw.

Roddy Piper doesn’t like snakes, so let’s go to Jake Roberts talking about how Snakes Make Fun Pets. Jake talks about how snakes will feed on themselves and how they have been around since the time of Adam and Eve. But now, a senile old man named Jack Tunney is barring him from bringing a snake to the ring.

Jake likes snakes because they’re survivors, and we see a clip of a cobra bit Randy Savage’s arm (that TERRIFIED me as a kid). The other nice thing about snakes is how many different kinds there really are. We see Jake holding various snakes and seemingly threatening us with them before promising the snakes will be back. This was pretty much just an extended Jake promo, which isn’t a bad thing. What might be a bad thing: including a long Jake promo when he was gone from the company by the time this was released.

From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.

Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart

After standing there for about forty seconds, Skinner gets out and runs up the aisle before coming back with…something. Then it disappears and we continue the stalling before they lock up about two minutes in. Skinner’s running shoulder doesn’t hurt Neidhart but a hiptoss does take him down.

Skinner does it again and then grabs a headlock, only to be knocked out to the floor. Back in and an atomic drop puts Skinner right back outside, allowing Neidhart to grab the can of tobacco reside. Skinner is so annoyed that he goes up the aisle for a bit, only to have Neidhart come back with the headlock inside again.

With the match still in first gear, Skinner gets in a shot to the throat to escape and starts choking. That doesn’t last long so Skinner switches it up by hitting him in the ribs and then the throat. Neidhart fights back up and they go to the floor for the double countout at 13:15. Actually hang on as it’s a time limit draw, because that makes such a difference here.

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? It’s bad enough that the match took place, but then they recorded it on top of that? What were they expecting this to be? They were stalling to get through a bunch of the time and then it got even worse. Awful match here and they seemed perfectly fine with that being the case.

Post match Neidhart wants to keep it going but Skinner leaves. Smart man.

From Lubbock, Texas, January 27, 1992.

Natural Disasters vs. Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter

The Natural Disasters have Jimmy Hart with them. Duggan and Typhoon start things off, with Duggan firing off some clotheslines to finally put him down. It’s off to Slaughter for some forearms in the corner as Typhoon stays in trouble. Back up and Typhoon hands it off to Earthquake, who quickly pounds Duggan down.

Earthquake misses a charge in the corner but he’s fine enough to knee Duggan in the back. It’s back to Typhoon for the bearhug, followed by another one from Earthquake. Duggan fights out and hands it back over to Slaughter as everything breaks down. Earthquake tries to bring in the megaphone so Duggan grabs the 2×4, which earns him the DQ to give the Disasters the win at 9:26.

Rating: D+. Another dull match that didn’t go anywhere, making it a perfectly uninteresting way to end a tape mostly full of such matches. Duggan and Slaughter were a fine enough patriotic team and there was a discussion of this match being the Tag Team Title match at Wrestlemania VIII but obviously that didn’t happen, which might be for the best if this is what we were going to get.

Roddy wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D. This was AWFUL and one of the worst Coliseum Videos I can remember. The biggest problem here was a lack of energy, as it didn’t feel like anyone was really trying. The biggest highlight here was the Piper vs. Adonis match from Wrestlemania, which should tell you everything you need to know about the tape. Dreadful stuff here and I have no idea what about this was supposed to be a classic.

 

 

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: October 4, 1986
Location: Wicomico Youth & Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Last week’s show was certainly eventful as we had a debut, a near debut and two future stars working as jobbers. There’s nothing on the horizon at the moment but that means we can get some more time spent building up house shows for the time being. That alone should be fun so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Gorilla Monsoon and Luscious Johnny V. (the latter not speaking, as usual) welcome us to the show.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming on the show.

Harley Race vs. Allen Martin

Bobby Heenan is here with Race, hence him not being on commentary to start. We get an insert interview, with Race saying everyone should be taking a knee to him. Powerslam, suplex, middle rope knee drop, fisherman’s suplex and Martin is done at 1:12.

The Machines are unhappy about the lack of sushi, geisha girls and fried rice in American hotels.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Bob Bradley/Steve Regale

The Rougeaus clean house to start and we get an insert promo from the Rougeaus in French. Bradley is sent hard into the corner and Regale gets the same treatment. Raymond adds some nice looking slams but Bradley gets in a shot of his own. Not that it matters as Bradley misses a top rope splash and Le Bombe de Rougeau finishes him at 2:42. The Rougeaus were energetic enough and the finish looked great.

Corporal Kirchner talks about how he has been coming up the ranks and would love to get in the Intercontinental Title hunt. He is used to fighting in the swamps and yeah Miss Elizabeth is a distraction at ringside. She doesn’t have the Intercontinental Title though and he won’t be focusing on her. Kirchner sounded nothing like I was expecting and didn’t exactly sound serious here.

We get a clip of the showdown between Piper’s Pit and the Flower Shop. Bob Orton Jr. is asked which show is better and says it’s the Flower Shop, hands down. Piper looks on from the next set over before coming over to call Adonis ugly. He even goes so far to take Orton’s (pink) cowboy hat and slaps Adonis on the chest. Adonis is so flustered he can’t speak and we pan over to Piper’s Pit, much to the fans’ delight.

Piper thinks Adonis looks ridiculous and brings out Don Muraco, who was hosting the Body Shop in Jesse Ventura’s absence. Muraco doesn’t know what show he’s on so here is Adonis to insult the Pit. Piper takes out Adonis’ bra and Muraco says this is a cartoon. Muraco says Adonis can do what he wants but Piper goes into a rant about how he doesn’t wants his kids seeing Adonis.

Orton and Adonis come over and Adonis breaks a flower pot over Piper’s head. The other two hold Piper down so Adonis can wreck his leg with a chair. The Pit is torn down and Piper is left laying. Adonis even smears lipstick all over Piper’s face and you can feel the heat from this one. It was going to be a huge deal and egads Piper’s responses should be incredible.

The Rebel Dick Slater (complete with confederate flag) talks about how he is awesome and wants a title shot. Oh and he doesn’t like Paul Orndorff either.

Dick Slater vs. Tiger Chung Lee

We get an insert promo from Slater, talking about how much he loves the south and promises attitude adjustments. Slater drives him up against the ropes and grabs a headlock but Lee goes to the throat. Some right hands set up a sleeper but Slater is out in about 1.2 seconds. Slater slugs away, hits a top rope shoulder, and finishes with a top rope elbow to the head for the pin at 2:54. Slater could not be more of a cliché if he tried and it really didn’t work.

We go to the Snake Pit, with Jake Roberts bringing out Slick and Butch Reed. This leads to a rant about how natural Reed is on all counts and Roberts can’t find a flaw in him. So, he’s natural. Got it.

WWF has figures made by LJN! Sweet goodness I remember those things.

WWF has thumb wrestlers! Sweet goodness I remember those things.

Dream Team vs. Jerry Allen/Don Hastings

Valentine and Allen start things off with Valentine actually getting slammed down. We get an insert promo from the Dream Team, talking about how great their manager Johnny V. is going to be on commentary. Beefcake comes in and gets beaten down as well but referee Danny Davis cuts Hastings off for no apparent reason. After a heck of a rant from Gorilla, Beefcake hits a heck of a backbreaker and Valentine gets the Figure Four for the win at 2:45. Not quite a squash, but the Davis stuff is the most interesting part.

Junkyard Dog vs. Jimmy Jack Funk

Dog’s insert promo isn’t overly impressed with Funk. Dog slams him down to start but Funk is back with some right hands to take over. Funk misses a dive though and the headbutts knock him silly. Back up and Dog slugs away in the corner and hits a running clothesline, followed by a head knocker of all things. Funk punches away and Dog does the same before grabbing an abdominal stretch of all things. With that broken up, Dog finally finishes him with the Thump at 4:39.

Rating: D-. This was TERRIBLE, as it was little more than a bunch of punching, which didn’t look great either. Dog had been around for a bit but this was a time where he clearly wasn’t trying and it looked sad in a way. Granted there was only so much to be done here, but this was a chore to sit through, which says a lot in a match that wasn’t even five minutes long.

Dog dances with a kid after the match.

Bobby Heenan’s hand is tired from signing so many contracts for Harley Race and Paul Orndorff. He wants to face Hulk Hogan and the Machines but knows they won’t sign. Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy come in, with Studd introducing the two of them, with Bundy being happy over how many people he has injured. They’re ready for anyone.

Here’s who will be around next week.

Overall Rating: D+. That feature match dragged this one down a good bit. Even with the good enough promos and the squash matches working, you’re only going to get so far when the biggest thing you do (at least in the ring) is that bad. That being said, the Piper vs. Adonis stuff, while silly on the surface, has the potential to be a major breakout feud and I’m already looking forward to Piper’s response. Good show with a horrible match bringing it down.

 

 

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WWF House Show
Date: June 27, 1986
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 14,348
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund

Welcome to “I feel like watching some 80s wrestling”, as we have a house show from almost three months after Wrestlemania II. This is a bit of a strange time for the WWF, as Hulk Hogan is ruling the world and there are good feuds beneath him, but he is going to need a big challenger to come after the title. That might be taken care of tonight. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla and Gene welcome us to the show and run down the top of the card.

Based on cards I can find, this show is not in the same order that it aired, but I can’t imagine it makes that much of a difference.

Les Thornton/Tiger Chung Lee vs. US Express

Unfortunately this is the Dan Spivey version of the Express. Thornton and Rotundo start things off and Thornton drops him with a running shoulder. Rotundo pulls him down into a headscissors as Gene talks about a recent golf outing. With that broken up, it’s off to Spivey to headlock Lee over. Spivey grinds away a bit but Lee gets in a shot of his own, allowing Thornton to come back in. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Spivey powers up, only to get caught in a front facelock.

Commentary talks about some of the great teams at the moment, including Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff and George Steele/Junkyard Dog. I question commentary’s definition of “great” as Spivey gets taken down again. Lee comes in for a slam, only to get slammed off the top for his efforts. Rotundo comes in to finally pick up the pace, including a legdrop between Lee’s legs.

We lose the camera feed for a bit before coming back to Lee driving Rotundo into the corner so things can slow right back down. Thornton grabs a chinlock until Rotunda fights up, only to have Lee offer a distraction so the tag doesn’t count. Rotundo finally kicks him away and brings in Spivey for the house cleaning. A backdrop into a jumping elbow gets two but Lee gets dropkicked out to the floor. Back in and it’s Rotundo getting caught in the corner AGAIN as this match just won’t end. This beating doesn’t last as long as it’s back to Spivey for the bulldog to finish Thornton at 12:17.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness this was boring and I have no idea why it went on this long. It’s a match where you could cut the time in half and do the same thing that much better. The Spivey version of the Express didn’t work out very well and you could tell that the team was on the downside here. The action was slow and uninteresting and I was begging for it to end, making the last five minutes rather awful. Terrible choice for an opener.

Tony Atlas vs. Harley Race

Race has only been around here full time for about a month and a half now. They trade headlocks to start, with Atlas grinding him down to his knees. Back up and Race tries a headbutt but goes down to the power of racial stereotypes. We’re right back to the headlock but this time they fall outside, with Atlas being knocked over the barricade.

Atlas takes his sweet time coming back inside so Race suplexes him back in for two. Back up and Atlas grabs a suplex of his own, only to miss an elbow. Race puts him down with a swinging neckbreaker and drops some elbows. A dropkick gets Atlas out of trouble and a middle rope headbutt puts Race down again. The splash hits knees though and a sunset flip finishes for Race at 8:27.

Rating: C-. Well, it was better than the opener, at least partially because it was a bit shorter. Atlas came off as confused more than anything else, as he spent a lot of time standing around, allowing Race to either move or block it. Race is of course able to have a good match with just about anyone and he was holding it together until they finally just stopped.

King Tonga vs. Pete Doherty

Tonga is the future Haku/Meng and is currently owed $50,000 for slamming Big John Studd, which he does not seem likely to collect. Doherty is a local heel who was a bit of a mainstay around Boston and even did commentary on some of these shows. Tonga powers him around to start and Doherty is complaining about a non-existent hair pull.

Back up and Tonga kicks him away before glaring Doherty off for trying a ram into the buckle. Doherty has a breather on the floor before coming back inside to miss a charge in the corner. Tonga hammers away and hits a dropkick, followed by a superkick. A flying headbutt finishes Doherty at 4:20.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash as Tonga ran over him and Doherty got in a grand total of nothing. That being said, that’s kind of the point of someone like Doherty, who was never going to be any kind of a threat to anyone. Tonga was at least a more interesting star and someone who moved around better than almost anyone else on the show so far, though that isn’t a high bar to clear.

Moondog Spot vs. Pedro Morales

They lock up as Gorilla talks about his matches with Bruno Sammartino here in the Garden. Morales starts fast with some backdrops and Spot needs a breather. We pause for Spot to yell at the fans before he grabs a not exactly cranked on headlock. Morales breaks that up without much effort and they stare at each other a bit more.

Spot gets in a shot of his own though and the chinlock goes on. Said chinlock is about as lazy as you can imagine but it stays on for a good while. Morales fights up and gets a sunset out of the corner for no count, allowing Spot to punch him in the face. Not that it matters as Morales small packages him for two, followed by an O’Connor roll for the pin on Spot at 7:27.

Rating: D. Is the WWF mad at Boston for some reason? There have been four matches so far and the best one has been ok at best. Morales is a legend and the fans are going to respond to him, but how interested can you get in a few punches and some rollups? Spot was even worse though, making this another lame match in a show long series of them so far.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Jake Roberts

Ok this HAS to be better. Steamboat chases him to the floor and the fight starts out there as they don’t quite like each other. They get back inside with Steamboat being sent inside but easily blocking a DDT attempt. With Roberts on the floor again, the referee almost hits Steamboat, with commentary NOT being happy with such an action.

Back in and Steamboat sends Roberts into the corner and is rather fired up. Roberts gets tied up in the ropes and hammered some more, only to break free and drop Steamboat with a hard right hand. A clothesline and a heck of a whip into the corner have Steamboat down and Roberts says hit him. Not one to be rude, Steamboat slugs away but gets punched down again as Roberts wants to box.

Steamboat is knocked through the ropes and barely hangs on from crashing out to the floor. Back in and Roberts grabs the sleeper, which he switches into a chinlock to avoid drowsiness. With Steamboat fighting up, Roberts slams him down and hammers away some more. The referee breaks that up as well and commentary still isn’t pleased.

It’s time for the snake but it takes too long, meaning Roberts has to try/miss a running knee lift. A neckbreaker drops Roberts again and Steamboat does it a second time for a bonus. Back up and Roberts hits the knee lift, sending Steamboat outside again. Roberts follows him out but gets posted and sent inside….as Steamboat is counted out at 13:28.

Rating: B. I’m not sure if it was the anger between the two of them or the fact that the show has been so dull until now but this was a rather good match. They were beating each other up and Roberts felt like he was tormenting Steamboat and trying to hurt him at the same time. On the other hand you have Steamboat getting ticked off and fighting back, which is something he does rather well in his own right. Rather strong stuff here, as most of their feud wound up being.

Post match Steamboat stays on him, even sending Roberts into the barricade to bust him open. Back in and the referee has to drag Steamboat off so Roberts can escape.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Hogan is defending and Savage’s (with Miss Elizabeth) Intercontinental Title (which he isn’t carrying) isn’t on the line. Savage jumps Hogan from behind and gets in a belt shot to the back to start rather fast. The top rope ax handle has Hogan in more trouble but Liz gets up on the apron for some reason, allowing Hogan to pop up and start throwing the right hands.

Hogan even takes Savage’s sunglasses and hammers away while wearing stolen property. Savage is sent outside and rammed shoulder first into the post to keep him in trouble. Back in and Hogan drops him again as the fans are rather pleased with these happenings. Liz runs to the back for some reason as Hogan chokes Savage in the air to make it worse.

Hogan hits a suplex and Savage’s arm gets tied in the ropes. That’s fine with Hogan, who bites away (what a monster), only to get sent outside. Savage comes off the top with an ax handle to the floor, allowing Hogan to adjust his trunks a bit. Back in and Savage hits the top rope elbow (to no reaction from commentary) for two, as it’s Hulk Up time. All of the usual sets up the legdrop to retain the title at 7:13.

Rating: C+. Stolen property and attempted cannibalism aside, this wasn’t exactly a classic but Hogan vs. Savage is always worth a look. The most telling part though was the non-reaction to the top rope elbow, as the Intercontinental Champion hitting his finisher had almost no chance of beating Hogan. That’s how big Hogan was at this point and it was rather telling for what was going to be the reality of this feud for, well, ever.

Post match Adrian Adonis comes in to beat on Hogan, who fights off both villains (Adonis’ bra is exposed). Hogan even takes Adonis’ wig as the parade of thefts continues. A lot of posing ensues.

Moondog Rex vs. Billy Jack Haynes

They take their time before locking up, with Haynes grabbing a headlock to take over. Rex powers up and gets in a cheap shot in the corner, only to have the referee block another one so Haynes can take over (commentary still isn’t pleased). Haynes grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back (a rare sight from the good guy), which is broken up with a quick belly to back. A backbreaker stays on the back as Haynes starts staggering around. Rex grabs his own chinlock before missing his own elbow, allowing Haynes to slug away. A dropkick….I think misses Rex (now busted open a bit), but Haynes slaps on the full nelson for the win at 6:08.

Rating: C-. It was better than the other Moondog match, but there were a few parts there where they didn’t quite seem to be on the same page. Haynes was a decent power guy with a good full nelson but there is only so much that he could do. At least it was short, which is rarely a high compliment for any match and it isn’t here either.

King Kong Bundy vs. Junkyard Dog

Bundy bails from the threat of a chain because, you know, it’s a chain. Gorilla says we’re in for a classic, suggesting that he doesn’t know the definition of the word “classic”. They hit the stall button for over a minute before Bundy drives him into the corner for a clean break (though the referee yells at Dog for a bit). Bundy knocks him down but misses the elbow, allowing Dog to fire off the elbows to the head.

After a quick trip tot he floor, Bundy comes back in so he can win a slugout. The splash misses but so does Dog’s headbutt as we’re getting some trash thrown inside. Bundy takes him into the corner for a short form splash, plus a chain shot to the ribs as more trash is coming in. More choking ensues as the referee takes some trash to the head.

Dog slugs back, reaches for the missing chain, and then punches some more. Dog finally grabs the chain and Bundy bails, leaving the referee to yell at Dog again. The chain is put back in the corner and they lock up again. Bundy pulls the chain in but gets headbutted, leaving Dog to toss the referee with the chain for the DQ at 7:39.

Rating: D. Not only was it a bad match, but the fans completely gave up on it about halfway through. Throw in a bad ending (along with the trash) and this was just horrible. I’m not sure what was going on here but it really didn’t work in the slightest. It’s so strange to see the fans rebel against a match like that, though it’s kind of hard to argue against in this case.

Post match Dog beats up the referee again, including a Thump (powerslam). Commentary REALLY is not pleased here as the oddness continues.

Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Rematch of the Wrestlemania II opener. Fuji goes over to say something the microphones can’t quite pick up on commentary as the referee gets some of the trash from the previous match out of the ring. They fight over a lockup and break it up against the ropes as this feels like they’re taking their time. Muraco shoves him away as we’re already over two minutes in.

Some knees to the head and ribs have Orndorff in trouble and a Hennig neck snap of all things makes it worse. Orndorff knocks him to the floor for a breather though and Muraco is perfectly fine with hitting the stall button again. Back in and Orndorff starts working on the arm as we hear about his football career. The arm cranking goes on for a bit as they might as well have the clock counting down to the time limit draw on one of the advertisement boards.

More trash comes in (and is kicked out much faster this time) as Orndorff keeps the armbar going. The arm cranking reaches about three straight minutes so Gene talks about people he met on a recent flight. Muraco FINALLY fights up and sends him into the corner, setting up….a nerve hold.

Back up and Muraco sends him into the corner again, setting up another nerve hold as you can hear the fans getting REALLY fed up. One piece of trash can be seen sailing in and almost hitting the camera as this is deserving all of the anger it gets. Orndorff fights up and hammers away, accidentally showing some life in this mess. A top rope elbow to the head and an elbow drop have Muraco in trouble and the slugout is on. Orndorff grabs a small package for two as the 20 minute time limit expires at 15:11.

Rating: F. Orndorff showed some fire at the end but this was two guys going out there and more or less taking the main event off after an already horrible show. This was terrible and made me want to see their already bad Wrestlemania match again, as they weren’t trying and made no secret whatsoever about it. Just dreadful

The referee says Orndorff wins and commentary goes off about how little sense that makes, even calling it a “miscarriage of justice” to show you how serious they really are.

Overall Rating: D-. When the third best match of the night is a King Tonga squash, you know you’re in serious trouble. Roberts vs. Steamboat was rather good and Hogan vs. Savage was fun enough, but that is the grand total of anything you might want to see on a show that runs almost two hours. The fans throwing so much trash into the ring that the referee can’t get rid of it fast enough tells you everything you need to know here, as this was one of the worst house shows I’ve ever seen and most of the people involved should have felt embarrassed by what they did out there. They won’t, but they should.

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: September 20, 1986
Location: Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ernie Ladd, Johnny V

I’m not sure what to expect from this show and that is what makes the show so much fun. Instead of one big story, it’s more like they’re picking random wrestlers who have a little something going on at the moment and throw them into some squash matches. That’s how things worked in the Golden Era so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick host intro.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming this week.

Hart Foundation vs. Islanders

This is when the Islanders were still good guys and Jimmy hart is in the Harts’ corner. Of note: the graphics say this include “Hako” and “Brett” Hart. The Harts jump them to start and clear the ring until it’s Neidhart kneeing Tama in the ribs. There’s a bite to the face as Johnny V makes south Pacific jokes.

Something like a Demolition Decapitator drops Tama again as we get an insert promo from Jimmy Hart about how much better his team is than the Islanders. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Haku so everything breaks down, with the barricade being knocked down at ringside. Toma busts out a crazy dive over the top (In 1986!) and the referee throws it out at 2:39, which is a bit of a surprise.

Post match the Islanders clean house without much trouble.

This week’s Wrestler’s Rebuttal is from Adrian Adonis, who is ready for his debate with Roddy Piper in the coming weeks. The topic: who has the better talk show segment. So they’re talking about talking? This isn’t so much a rebuttal as much as a clip from Superstars.

Randy Savage vs. Tony Garea

Non-title and AGAIN Danny Davis messes up by distracting Garea. Not that it matters as Garea is right back with a crossbody for two and a sunset flip for the same. Back up and Savage knees him out to the floor, setting up the top rope ax handle. We get an insert promo from Billy Graham in the desert, where he says he’s coming back to hurt someone. Like Savage for example. Savage takes him back inside, hits the slam and drops the elbow for the pin at 2:26. Garea got in a bit there but then it was the Savage Show, meaning it was awesome.

Jake Roberts thinks Ricky Steamboat is stupid for coming after him after getting burned once before. And no, he didn’t get the Snake Pit by brown nosing, but because he has talent.

Machines vs. Tiger Chung Lee/Al Navarro/JJ Jackson

Oddly enough, Hayes doesn’t know Jackson’s name and has to ask him. Lou Albano is here with the Machines: Big Machine (Blackjack Mulligan), Super Machine (Ax from Demolition) and Giant Machine (I’ll let you figure it out). Lee and Big start things off as we get an insert promo from Bobby Heenan talking about how much smarter he is than Albano, who must have a machine for these machines. Jackson comes in and gets clotheslined by Super, who sends him into a right hand from Giant for the pin at 1:30. This team is hilarious in a way that would only work in wrestling.

Koko B. Ware, with music box blaring, gets Ken Resnick to dance with him. He is no stepping stone.

BUY WWF MAGAZINE!

BUY LJN ACTION FIGURES! No really, as those things are valuable today.

BUY WWF THUMB WRESTLERS! I think I had most of those.

Dream Team vs. Lanny Poffo/Dick Slater

That’s a heck of a random jobber team and oddly enough they get a full entrance while Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine are already in the ring. Poffo’s poem is about how Slater is a rebel from Dixie who will do his thing. Valentine slams Poffo to start as we get an insert promo from Mr. Fuji, who does NOT like Dixie. Slater comes in and elbows Valentine in the head for two.

That’s enough for Johnny V, the Dream Team’s manager, to bail on commentary and go take care of his team. A suplex gets two on Slater and a sunset flip gives him two on Valentine. Everything breaks down and Valentine snaps Poffo’s throat across the top rope so Beefcake can get the pin at 2:35. The V stuff made it a bit more interesting.

And now, the Snake Pit with Bobby Heenan and Paul Orndorff. Jake talks about fakers and Orndorff says Hulk Hogan wants to be him. The robe comes off so Orndorff can pose, with Heenan saying Orndorff’s thirst will only be quenched when he wins the WWF Title.

Sika vs. Rick Hunter

The Wizard is here with Sika. Hunter slugs away to start and gets choked down with no effect. Sika slaps him down and we get an insert interview from Honky Tonk Man, who is still on his way. Hunter tries to forearm his way out of trouble and gets choked into the corner. More choking ensues as the Wizard shouts at Sika, who finishes with the Samoan drop (with Sika more laying him down than dropping) for the pin at 3: 23.

Rating: D. When the Samoan drop isn’t looking great, there is only so much that you’re going to get out of a match. Sika was never much on his own but was quite great when he was part of the Wild Samoans. That being said, this was another weak match which got some time, partially due to Honky Tonk Man sucking any life out of the thing with his out of date good guy act.

Video on the Rougeau Brothers riding motorcycles and in a boat. Riveting.

Killer Bees vs. Terry Gibbs/Jack Foley

Ladd thinks the Bees have ants in their pants and Monsoon thinks the Dream Team is scared to put their “John Henry” on a contract with the Killer Bees. Brunzell and Gibbs trade wristlocks to start before it’s off to Blair. Gibbs misses a running elbow so Jack comes in, only to get fireman’s carried.

This lets Johnny get in another “Iwo Jima, out of ammo” line, which must have some other meaning. An atomic drop and jumping knee drop Jack and a double elbow does the same. The arm work continues as Ladd refers to the Dream Team as the “Dream Machine”. Johnny keeps talking about how ugly Foley is and a flying hip attack gives Blair the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Another slow and nothing match, with commentary sounding WAY off being the main focus. There were all kinds of tag teams around this time and the Bees, while good, weren’t exactly going to stand out when the British Bulldogs and the Harts etc. were around. They were a big enough deal here and felt like something of stars. That being said, the Jack guy would get a bit better when he started going by something closer to his real name: Mick. Yeah I know it’s not much of a secret, but I need something to get me through these matches.

Bobby Heenan says Mr. Wonderfulmania is running wild and Paul Orndorff comes in to talk about how jealous Hogan is. Hogan can’t lift like him so he stole Real American and the t-shirt ripping. Heenan chants WONDERFUL to wrap things up.

Here’s who’s coming next week.

Cue that musical review!

Overall Rating: D+. Randy Savage can only give you so much on a show with almost nothing else. The Harts vs. the Islanders felt like it could have had potential but then nothing came of it due to time. The Machines are always good for a chuckle, but I need a little more than the rapid fire short matches with almost nothing worth seeing. Still though, this is about as straight up my alley as I can get so we’ll definitely be back.

 

 

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: September 6, 1986
Location: Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ernie Ladd, Johnny V

It’s the debut episode so this is kind of a big one. This is one of those shows that is right up my alley as it is actually a standard show rather than a collection of house show matches. In short, Wrestling Challenge (the new form of All Star Wrestling) debuted at the same time as Superstars (the new form of Championship Wrestling), as the WWF takeover continues. Since there are 23 episodes on Peacock, we might as well have some fun. Let’s get to it.

Commentary welcomes us to the show. Well Gorilla does, as the other two don’t say anything.

Opening sequence. Dang that’s a lot of Hogan.

Here’s who you’ll see on the show.

US Express vs. Don Muraco/Iron Mike Sharpe

That would be Mike Rotundo/Dan Spivey, the lesser version of the team. Fuji is here with the villains and Lord Alfred Hayes is the ring announcer for some reason. Muraco stalls in the corner to start before grabbing a headlock as we get an inset promo from Billy Graham of all people, talking about facing the elements. He’s on his way back to the boogaloo on the scene, event as Spivey comes in for a slam into some armdrags on Muraco.

It’s off to Sharpe to send Spivey into the corner but a bad backdrop and not great dropkick put Sharp down. Rotundo airplane spines Sharpe and everything breaks down. A small package has Sharpe in trouble but Muraco turns it over, only to have Spivey turn it over so Rotundo can get the pin at 3:05.

Rating: C-. So that’s the first match in the history of Wrestling Challenge and it was as basic as you could get. The Spivey version of the US Express wasn’t very good and that was on full display here. They’re fine for a midcard team but you would think the WWF might want to start things off a bit hotter than this. The ending was good though.

We get a Wrestler’s Rebuttal from Randy Savage, who doesn’t like fans cheering for Elizabeth so much. They should be cheering for him instead, so GET ON THE BANDWAGON! Savage could make milk and cookies intense.

Adrian Adonis vs. Tommy Sharp

Adonis has Jimmy Hart and Bob Orton with him. Adonis rolls around to start and takes Sharp down, with Johnny V saying “Iwo Jima, out of ammo”. Monsoon says Adonis chewing gum during the match is dangerous before we get an inset promo from Orton, who says the money and working conditions are better under Adonis than Roddy Piper. He’s even starting to like the smell of the flowers!

Adonis works on the arm and sends Sharp outside for daring to try his own armbar. Hart offers a distraction so Orton can come in with a belly to back suplex/top rope clothesline combination to give Adonis the pin at 2:57. Commentary makes sure to point out that referee Danny Davis was more than a bit off with Hart’s interference. That was a big finish for a match that didn’t even last three minutes.

Bob Orton talks about how much better an offer he received from Adrian Adonis and Jimmy Hart. Roddy Piper went off to Hollywood and stopped sending him the checks so their contract was off. Yeah he wears a pink hat and he is well paid to do so. Orton stood behind Piper so he could say everything he wanted and now he’ll stand behind Adonis as well.

Koko B. Ware vs. Bob Bradley

Ware has been around for all of a few weeks at this point at most (he doesn’t even have Frankie yet). Dancing ensues on the way to the ring as Johnny V thinks Koko sounds like a breakfast cereal. We get an inset promo from Ware, complete with a mini boom box on his shoulder, where he says he wants everyone in the WWF to do the Bird. Feeling out process to start with Bradley grabbing a headlock but Koko is back up with a running crossbody. Bradley slugs away as commentary is a bit split over the idea of the match’s female referee. Koko elbows him in the face and hits a pair of dropkicks. A middle rope dropkick and a splash finishes Bradley at 3:03.

Rating: C-. You can see the skill in Koko but he needs to polish things up a bit. There are some things that can change him up enough and that will make things work. Ware can do the fast paced style and that is always going to get over, with the dancing making it even better. This wasn’t the best match though as Bradley got in a bit too much offense, especially with Ware being a newcomer.

Jimmy Hart says he needs a lot of bodyguards, which is why he hired Bob Orton. Oh and Adrian Adonis will be the next World Champion.

Paul Orndorff vs. Troy Martin

Orndorff has Bobby Heenan with him and comes out to Real American in an angle I would love to see used again. He even throws in the hand to the ear for a nice bonus. We get an inset interview from Honky Tonk Man, who doesn’t like Orndorff stealing from HIS FRIEND Hulk Hogan. Honky Tonk Man promises to get Orndorff somewhere as Martin is sent over the barricade. Back in and Orndorff hits him in the face before walking around a bit. The piledriver finishes Martin at 1:44. He would do a bit better when he changed his name to Shane Douglas (or Troy Orndorff, when he was billed as Paul’s nephew).

And now, the first ever Snake Pit, featuring Jake Roberts promising to bring us thunder. That would be in the form of Kamala, with the Wizard (King Curtis Iaukea) and handler Kim Chee. The Wizard brought Kamala 22,000 miles to unleash evil here. One day the Wizard was in the VIP lounge in Singapore (this isn’t where I was expecting it to go) and the Sultan of Brunei wanted Kamala to wreck people. That was a weird way to go but at least they had Iaukea’s creepy voice.

We go to a clip (which had aired before) of Harley Race being crowned King of the WWE. Bobby Heenan reading the proclamation. Race comes to the ring with Lord Littlebrook carrying his crown as the ring is full of various villains. Heenan officially crowns him the King and the fans are so incensed that they hold up signs that say BOO. The LONG LIVE THE KING chants are on (at least from Heenan) and Race is taken out on King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd’s shoulders. Well that was awesome in a rather 1986 way.

We see a clip of Lou Albano’s new team (yeah I’m shocked too): THE MACHINES! That was so stupid that it was hilarious.

British Bulldogs vs. Moondogs

Non-title and Lou Albano (he gets around) is here with the Bulldogs. The Moondogs jumps them before the bell and the fight starts fast. That’s fine with the Bulldogs who send the Moondogs into each other. We settle down to Spot tripping Dynamite from the floor before coming in for a suplex and a near fall.

Rex comes in and elbows Dynamite in the face but a sunset flip and crossbody get Dynamite out of trouble. Well for all of three seconds or so as the Moondogs take him back into the corner to keep up the beating. A clothesline drops Spot though and the hot tag brings in Davey to clean house. The suplex gets one on Spot as everything breaks down. The Moondogs double team Dynamite but Davey comes in off a blind tag for a high crossbody and the pin at 4:21.

Rating: C. Can we call it a dog fight? Anyway, the Bulldogs were a step ahead of just about everyone else and the Moondogs were little more than a quick opponent for them to fight off. It wasn’t even a title match so how much of a threat was this going to be? The Moondogs don’t get the attention that they deserve as they were rather decent as an oddball team and stayed around for a rather long time.

Jake Roberts, fresh off DDTing Ricky Steamboat on the concrete floor on Saturday Night’s Main Event, isn’t worried about the calls to ban the DDT. The DDT is cruel but fair and Roberts walks the way he wants to. He’ll drop you so fast that your whole family will feel it. Randy Savage comes in as Roberts says everyone has rainbows to look at. Savage: “I’ve seen rainbows before.” They march to their own beat because they’re their own men. Yep, that’s a scary team.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

We get a musical review (Gorilla’s words) of this week’s action, meaning a quick highlight package.

Overall Rating: C. This is about as fun of a show as I could ask for and that was the case this week. It is such an 80s show, but it is a little weird to not have Hogan around in some way. For now though, we got a nice mixture of squashed and interviews, which is a nice way to spend about 45 minutes. This is about the fun instead of the quality, and I’m certainly good for twenty two more shows.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

The wide shot of the stadium to open the show is still one of the best visuals in wrestling. This is what Wrestlemania is supposed to look like and it feels like one of the biggest events the company or industry has ever had.

Vince introduces Aretha Franklin for America the Beautiful.

The announcers, including celebrities Bob Uecker (baseball announcer) and Mary Hart (Entertainment Tonight anchor), talk for a bit. Uecker and Hart will only be around for a match here and there.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

The Connection is the latest pretty boy tag team comprised of Tom Zenk and Rick Martel. Rick shoulders Muraco down to start and monkey flips him for two. You can definitely see a different style in this stadium setting as opposed to an arena. Everything breaks down to start and the villains are quickly dispatched to the floor for a meeting with manager Mr. Fuji.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Hercules uses his chain to bust Haynes open and then slaps on the full nelson.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

Heenan gives the crown jewels to Fabulous Moolah (the Queen) to present to Race after the match.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Post match Race sits in his chair and Dog bows, only to beat Race up with the chair in a move that draws cheers.

The Dream Team is ready for the Rougeau Brothers. Manager Luscious Johnny V: “Parlez-vous scrambled eggs?”

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Beefcake gets left behind as Johnny, Bravo and Valentine leave in the cart.

Piper says no retreat and no surrender.

Adonis promises to give Piper a haircut with some hedge clippers.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair and Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Adonis is a lot more serious and less effeminate than he was last year. Piper walks down the aisle with the biggest smile on his face. His hair is a bit longer as well to give him his better known look. They slug it out to start but Piper pulls out a belt to whip Adrian.

Adonis takes it away and whips Piper as Monsoon suddenly thinks this is unfair. Piper drags Jimmy in and whips the two of them together for a big crash. The crowd is losing it for this stuff as Piper is just crazy over. Hart trips Piper to take over though and Adonis knocks Piper to the floor. Back in and Piper says bring it on until Hart sprays cologne in his eyes.

Jimmy Hart says the Bulldogs and Tito Santana can have the war they want.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Jesse takes Matilda to the back and Bret crawls over to Neidhart to get away from Smith. A double headbutt puts Neidhart down and a backdrop makes it even worse. Neidhart opts to just punch Smith in the face, only to have Bret miss a middle rope elbow. Dynamite takes over again as this has been one sided so far. Neidhart breaks up a pin attempt and the Harts finally take over as Uecker tries to figure out why Jimmy Hart is all over the show.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Power vs. speed here and Butch has Slick in his corner. Koko speeds things up to start and dropkicks Reed to the floor but Butch forearms him in the back to take over. Rights and lefts stagger Butch but he rolls through a cross body and pulls the tights to pin Koko at 3:38.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Ever the violent one, Savage elbows the damaged throat before dropping a knee to the chest for two. Some chops to the head get Steamboat out of trouble and Savage gets tied in the ropes. Things start getting fast as they run the ropes but Savage takes him down with a knee to the back. Savage makes the eternal mistake of trying to send Steamboat over the top and the Dragon skins the cat. Who came up with that term? It sounds horrible and really has nothing to do with pulling yourself back into a ring.

Steamboat and Steele leave with the title, followed by Savage who is nearly in tears. The visual of people riding the carts up the long aisle is very effective.

Honky Tonk Man promises to win and then sing. He promises that for years but almost never delivered on it.

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Roberts starts fast and rips the white and gold (popular colors tonight) Elvis suit off. Honky Tonk tries to run as Gorilla and Jesse preview Alice Cooper vs. Jimmy Hart. Back in and Jake keeps punching away before the short clothesline looks to set up the DDT. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor. Thank goodness he changed the oil in his hair today or he might not have been able to escape. Roberts is sent into the post to give Honky Tonk control and a middle rope fist (ala Cousin Jerry) keeps Jake in trouble.

Killer Bees vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

Rating: D+. They might as well have had a countdown clock telling us how much more time they had to kill before Hogan vs. Andre. This was another watchable but unremarkable match in a series of them tonight. This was much more about Duggan than anything else, which is fine considering Duggan would wind up being a bigger name than anyone else in the match.

Hogan hopes the world can handle the explosion coming in the main event.

The celebrity announcements are shorter this year with Uecker as ring announcer and Mary Hart as timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Some right hands have Andre stunned and you can see the sweat flying off his chest as Hogan chops away. Hogan rams him head first into the buckle over and over but charges into a boot to the face and Andre slaps on a bearhug. After a minute and a half in the hold, Hogan holds his arm up on the third drop and breaks it up with even more right hands (about 90% of his offense here). Andre is right back on offense though as he kicks Hogan to the floor, only to headbutt the post by mistake.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: C+

Ok so I might have been a little enthusiastic about this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/12/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-iii-the-biggest-match-ever-on-the-biggest-show-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/

World Championship Wrestling
Date: July 14, 1984
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Tony Garea, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund
Host: Vince McMahon

Now THIS is a famous one, as (in the very condensed version) Vince McMahon bought the World Championship Wrestling (the TV show, not the company) time slot from Georgia Championship Wrestling and brought his product to the south. This basically sent the company’s fan base into open rebellion, which ultimately resulted in Ted Turner getting the time slot and (in part) setting off the WWF vs. WCW war. This is how a lot of it started though, so let’s get to it.

We’re officially introduced to Vince McMahon, who stands in front of a World Championship Wrestling backdrop to completely melt my mind. He runs down who is coming and you can already feel how off this is compared to the NWA style.

House show ads.

Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch vs. SD Jones/Nick Decarlo

Non-title and the ring announcer pronounces it as A-Done-Is. Murdoch grabs a headlock on Jones to start and brings in Adonis, with Jones being smart enough to back away in a hurry. A backdrop puts Adonis down so it’s back to Murdoch, who is headbutted down. Decarlo comes in to work on the arm and it’s an armdrag into an armbar.

Murdoch gets his arm cranked as well but a whip into the corner takes Decarlo down. An Adonis elbow gets two and Murdoch wrestles Decarlo down again. Decarlo slips over for the hot tag to Jones to pick up the pace but Murdoch takes him down as well. It’s quickly back to Decarlo, who is caught in a belly to back suplex/top rope clothesline combination for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C. And that’s probably the high point of this show. Adonis and Murdoch are kind of a forgotten great team and that finisher looked rather good. The problem is that this was just a step above a squash with a bunch of people the fans didn’t want to see. That is going to be the problem for the entire show, and I’m not sure if it is going to get much better than this.

Gene Okerlund talks to Mr. Fuji, who brings in George Steele. Okerlund desperately tries to make him talk and eventually gets Steele to say STEELE. Oh it’s going to be a long show.

More house show ads.

Jesse Ventura vs. Chris Curtis

From Minneapolis and Jesse makes sure to yell at a Minnesota Viking to start. Jesse goes at his usual pace to knock Curtis into the corner. A slam sets up a missed legdrop but a shot to the throat cuts Curtis off again. Ventura cranks on the arm before grabbing the over the shoulder backbreaker for the submission at 3:40.

Rating: D. Yep it was downhill from the opener as this was a boring squash. I have no idea who thought it was a good idea to put Ventura in the ring for a show like this because he was never exactly known for what he could do in the ring. This was slow and boring, like so many other Ventura matches.

B. Brian Blair loves the competition around here and is looking for the Tag Team Titles. He still needs a partner though.

Alexis Smirnoff wants competition too. He should settle for finding a better accent.

The WWF Magazine is on sale, complete with photos of Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant! Now they can’t actually be on this show, but at least you can find out where you can go to pay money to read about them doing cool things!

Iron Sheik vs. Ron Hutchison

Sheik knocks him around with ease to start as the fans want Sgt. Slaughter. Some kicks to the ribs set up the camel clutch to finish Hutchison at 2:08.

More house show ads, including ones we have already heard.

Vince McMahon talks about Bobo Brazil possibly being the best black wrestler of all time.

Big John Studd vs. Bobo Brazil

From Philadelphia and Vince talks about Bobo being on the comeback trail. Given that he turned 60 four days before this aired, I wouldn’t bet on that being a success. Studd knocks him around to start and we hit the bearhug in a hurry. Bobo reverses into a bearhug of his own and headbutt Studd down as we look at the fans instead of the ring. Studd bails to the floor for a bit but comes back in to take Bobo into a chinlock. That’s broken up and Bobo headbutts away but gets knocked down with a single shot. Studd drops an elbow for the pin at 5:41.

Rating: D-. I’m surprised they made it through the end of the show at this point as this was another awful squash. How hard can it be to make a BIG JOHN STUDD squash effective??? He hits you, he bearhugs you, he finishes with some power move. They managed to make that look bad, but Brazil being presented here as some kind of a star in these circumstances was weird enough.

Paul Orndorff explains why he’s handsome and has great hair. He’s the reason the divorce rate is so high, because every time he looks in that camera, more women leave their husbands for him. Orndorff is someone who continues to impress me more every single time.

Same WWF Magazine ad from earlier.

House show ads.

Vince promises more in the future, including Hulk Hogan next week! Host Freddie Miller comes in to close the show.

In a minor but telling sign of how messed up things were: Gene promised us another match but we just got ads and Vince instead. How slapped together was this show?

Overall Rating: F. This was the definition of WWF arrogance/not getting it, as they had no idea what the fans wanted to see and then threw out a completely pathetic collection of squashes with no particular rhyme or reason. I’m stunned the show was as well received as it was (and it was completely rejected) because this would have been bad in front of any audience. Your first show featured Studd, a nothing Murdoch/Adonis squash and the combined efforts of the Iron Sheik and Jesse Ventura? This was completely horrible and is only there for historic reasons (and it was huge to put it mildly). Total failure here.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.